#I just really hope that someone releases the whole show someday

[hyugaruma]

H&L: Sweet Things They Say To You

♡

re: how they show you they love you with their words…

hmmm idk how happy i am with this one but it’s been sitting in my notes for a minute soooo OH WELL

♡

Cobra: “I will forever fight for you and with you.” His lip is busted and his face is bruised. You can feel the way your heart clenches at seeing him battered from the fight he just partook in, some goons having thought it a good idea to harass you outside of ITOKAN Diner. Luckily your boyfriend had arrived just in time. Despite his marred state, he holds your gaze so that you know that he’s true to his word, and all you can do is nod.

The Mugen way of devotion and loyalty easily translates to Cobra in a relationship. He would literally die for you. Your fights are his fights. However, he tries his hardest to keep you out of his, and Sannoh’s, fights. He can’t imagine how he could live with himself if something happened to you.

Rocky: “I’ve waited my whole life to meet you.” Rocky softly places a hand on the small of your back, pulling you in close so he can bury his face in your neck. You can feel the tension in his shoulders dissipate at finally having you in his arms after an arduous day at Club Heaven. You respond by wrapping your arms around him to pull him in even closer. No other words are needed; just having you at his side is all he could ever ask for.

Rocky wholeheartedly means the words he says. He isn’t one to so easily dedicate himself to one person; he has many women to protect, after all. But the moment he meets you, he can’t even begin to imagine the way it was before. He was so lonely without ever having realized it.

Murayama: “I can’t wait to see you again.” Murayama is reluctant to release the grasp his hand has on your own, wasting as much time as possible standing with you outside your house after your date together. You can’t help but giggle at the obvious ploy, leaning in to land a chaste kiss on his cheek that sends the tips of his ears pink. He’s quick to pull you back in once you try to pull away, this time to land a playful kiss of his own on your lips.

Murayama lives to spend time with you. Right after he drops you off at your house after hanging out all day, he’s already texting you how much he misses you and trying to make plans as soon as possible. If you’d allow it, he would see you every day if possible. He’d never grow tired of you.

Smoky: “Thank you for choosing me.” The two of you sit side-by-side at the ledge of a deconstructed factory building, looking out at Nameless City laid out beneath you. You look to him, and he’s giving you a gentle, almost sad, smile. You can’t even imagine a world where you wouldn’t choose him, but somewhere swimming in those brown eyes of his is a self-doubt that you hope someday can be remedied. You give him a smile back, one that says you feel the exact same way.

Smoky can’t even comprehend why someone like you, someone so amazing, would choose someone like him. He really doesn’t know what he did to deserve you. Surely there’s someone out there who could give you more than he ever could, at least so he thinks. But, you did choose him, and he is forever thankful to have you by his side.

Hyuga: “Thank you for putting up with me.” Hyuga is sprawled out on the futon that the two of you share, watching as you change into your pajamas to settle down for the night. His eyes show a softness that he reserves only for you. He holds out a hand to beckon you to him, and you oblige, crawling into the futon to situate yourself between his lazy arms. He can’t help but land a light kiss on your temple before pulling you close to drift off into a peaceful slumber.

Hyuga knows he’s not a perfect man. Far from it, even. He can’t imagine why you’re so willing to continue dealing with his ways, but he hopes you’ll continue to do so for a long, long while. If he could ask for one selfish wish, it would be to have you as his for the rest of his time on this earth.

Hiroto: “I’m always here for you.” Hiroto stands awkwardly in the doorway of your apartment as he eyes you closely. He can tell that something has been bothering you, but that you were reluctant to confide in him about your problems. You raise your eyes to meet his gaze and find nothing but complete honesty and truth within them. Feeling your own eyes begin to mist over, you opt to dropping your head to his chest to hide your show of emotions. A hand comes up to gently rest against the back of your neck, and to attempt to soothe your worries away.

Hiroto isn’t a man of many overtly affectionate words or gestures. He tends to show his love through action. But, he does want you to know that he would do anything for you. If you ever have a problem, he hopes that he’ll be the first person you come to, even if it’s just you needing a listening ear.

Ice: “I love every little thing about you.” Ice’s fingertips ghost delicately across your cheek and down your jaw, touch so soft it’s as if he’s afraid you might disappear right before his very eyes. He wears his signature shades, but you can still see the way his eyes admire you, flitting between your eyes to your nose to your lips, an affectionate reverence for each and every part of you. His hand rests on your neck as his thumb softly caresses your chin, and he can’t help the smile of complete adoration that overtakes him.

When Ice says he loves every little thing, he isn’t exaggerating. All your flaws and quirks, he wouldn’t give a single one of them up. He’s a man who accepts you completely and wholly. And he would spend the rest of his life ensuring that you see yourself in the light that he sees you in.

Jesse: “I love when you smile.” Jesse flops down on top of you lying down on the bed, resting his chin against your abdomen as he looks up at you with a cheeky, yet genuine, smile. In turn, you move your hand to brush through his blonde locks, and he leans fervently into your touch. You can feel the deep exhale he lets out. Jesse pushes himself up, hoisting himself to be positioned above you so that he’s now looking down at you. His own hand finds itself entangling with your hair, his eyes glued to that sweet, sweet smile on your lips.

Jesse isn’t someone who shows his affections through words, but nothing in the world makes his heart swell more than seeing your genuine smile. Especially if he was the cause of it. Your smile can instantly turn even his sourest of moods around. He spends his days chasing after the high of basking in your joy and happiness.

Ryu: “You’re my forever.” Ryu stands behind you, watching you from the mirror as you get ready to go out to dinner together. His hands find themselves snaking down to your hips, and his chin resting dutifully on your shoulder. He watches your shy reactions through the reflection, and the tiny smile that you can’t seem to hold back. His arms tighten as he pulls your back against his chest. You can feel his steady heartbeat. You lean your head against his and bask in the moment of utter tranquility with your lover.

Ryu doesn’t open himself up and give himself to others so willingly. You have to be a very special person to open up that side of him. So when he says ‘forever,’ he actually means ‘forever.’ He just hopes that you feel the same level of devotion, because he can’t imagine finding anyone like you again.

[sarahjtv]

My Hero Academia Chapter 429 Spoiler Talk: The Penultimate Chapter

So here it is. The second to last chapter of My Hero Academia. Unless Horikoshi gives us a sequel series like Naruto: Shippuden, this and the next chapter is the last we'll get manga content about MHA. Well, at least until Horikoshi gives us another Ultra Analysis book or an art book with extra information. It's still hard to believe honestly. I don't know if I'll be able to accept that our beloved series is ending until it actually does. Let's see what Horikoshi-sensei gives us until then. Also, my health isn't 100% today, so I apologize if my writing sounds messy:

First off is our last Weekly Shonen Jump and Chapter color pages! They are absolutely beautiful celebrating both the 10th anniversary and My Hero Academia as a whole. Everyone is smiling and it's a wonderful sight to see. I won't show them here because I think they deserve to be seen with your own two eyes. Let's just say that I love them and I can't wait to get the HQ versions of them when the official release comes out. Just know that you can tell Horikoshi put a lot of love into these pages.

From here on out, I think I'm just going to talk about what I thought of the chapter because I'm not 100% down to type everything out tonight. Sorry about this:

I think the chapter was another solid one, though it somehow still doesn't feel like the series is ending yet for me.

I'm glad we got to see Ochako and Deku talk about not being able to save their respective villains because we all know how badly this was haunting them. Neither of them would have been able to move on and genuinely smile again until they got that all out to someone who understood. Thankfully, they have each other 💚💖. I'm also really glad Deku told Ochako she was his hero and let her take her hand. This is the closest we'll probably get to an actual romantic confession from either of them unless Horikoshi does something for them in the last chapter. The thing is, it works because this wasn't the time for a love confession. This was a time for two broken people to talk their trauma out and get reassurance from someone close to them.

Really sad to hear that Himiko Toga did die. Granted it was from Ochako's dialogue and we didn't see any panel with her body drawn, but we can really only take her word for it now. Horikoshi could absolutely pull a fast one on us and show a glimpse of her alive in the final chapter. However, I think it's safe to say that she is dead and that honestly sucks.

I love the slice-of-life panels we get of the rest of the kids and seeing Aizawa smile is beautiful! He's so proud of his kids 🥹.

Monoma getting a statue at the school and bragging about it is fucking hilarious 🤣! He honestly deserves it though because the whole world would've been dead if not for him. Deku better get a statue too or else I'm going to throw hands.

Eri excitedly singing at Aoyama's farewell party is the most wholesome thing I've seen in a very long time and I truly hope she achieves her dream someday 🤍! Make her the best idol in the world, Horikoshi!

Finally, there's that mysterious man we saw a few chapters ago. We still don't know his name, but we're told he was abused and abandoned by his family because he has a mutant Quirk similar to how Eri's Quirk in the sense that neither of their Quirks were inherited by their family's DNA. He looked like he was going to walk down a similar path as Tenko, but the old lady who first ignored Tenko many years back found this new man and finally offered him a hand thanks to Izuku's inspiration. This is sort of a redemption for the old lady. I know that she was a catalyst for why Tenko became who he became, but I think this is a start for her to start over at least. Thankfully, I think this man is going to be ok.

I remember reading the interviews Horikoshi did over the past week and one of the things he said he wanted to express was that even someone having your back is heroism. Someone who can do something so simple as reaching their hand out when someone is in need is a hero to that person. You can tell that that is what Horikoshi is telling us here. He also said that making us cry was an important part of the story too because it's how he wants us to connect with it, so I expect to shed tears next week.

So, yeah. That's the second to last chapter of the main My Hero Academia manga. It still doesn't feel real to me. The final page of the chapter left things open-ended, so I would not be surprised if we got a time skip of some sort in the final chapter. I honestly thought that Horikoshi was setting up one more villain for the kids to fight with that mysterious man, but it was wrapped up in a very simple yet poignant way. I will agree that it feels rushed and that there's something missing, but I can't pinpoint what. Horikoshi's been writing and drawing this manga for 10+ years at this point, so I can't entirely blame him for wanting to finish things up. However, I'm a little more nervous about him sticking the landing for the ending. While I think he can still do it, I've seen too many mangaka end their story on a bad note for one reason or another. Our best bet is that he revises or adds some things to make the chapter better in the volume version. I'm going to do my best to keep my optimism alive for the next few weeks.

I honestly can't begin to accurately predict how the manga will end. I could see it ending with the kids continuing their lives at UA, at graduation, or as pro-hero adults maybe with families of their own. Honestly, anything goes. Part of me wants to be here when the chapter might get leaked next Wednesday, but another part of me wants to wait until next Sunday for the official VIz release so I can read and cry together with everyone else. I think I am going to try to do the latter and then write some kind tribute to honor the series, but I may or may not be out of town next week, so I'll have to see about that.

One more chapter left.

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

The "Lonely Road" music video, where they’re playing house (and he probably already knew about the pregnancy), was released during Casie’s birthday week 🎁. Not the best birthday gift for a teen who’s close with her dad 💔. He could have waited to make the reveal, but he didn’t, so maybe he’s learned from that mistake and wants to approach things more THOUGHTFULLY in the future.

I think he’s really sensitive about including his firstborn, and he might have been upset 😢 that the pregnancy reveal excluded both him and her. His like on the post about Casie and him entering a new family chapter is the confirmation we were all waiting for: she’s pregnant, and it’s his child.

But that like definitely gives off the vibe of a family of three. I think the arrival of the baby has created two separate families, and it’s only a matter of time before we see that take shape: him, Casie, and the baby, and then her, her sons, and the baby. To quote our beloved Kamala, this situation is like a Venn diagram.

The tweet he liked suggests it’s a new chapter, and he seems to view it as just another season or era that will eventually come to an end. Deep down, I think he wants to expand his nuclear family of three again, but I just doubt Megan and her sons are the addition his heart is dreaming of.

I hope the best for his family: him and his two children! 👨‍👧‍👦

I hope it can expand later on, with the right woman [and her kid(s)] ⏳. I am sure in this case he would be more than willing to be a father figure to eventual "stepkids", unlike now.

Note: Megans kids are all innocent angels 👼🏼👼🏼👼🏼. They are so lucky to have a mommie like Sharna 💚 in their life! Bless them!!

Okay I'm going to try and answer all of this one but it's more a statement than a question and I think you said a lot very eloquently. I feel bad for Casie, she never seems to be included when Megan leads the charge and I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he's been upset about. Or maybe he's just decided yet again he doesn't want to deal with the public and yet again she's done it anyway.

I haven't seen the liked tweet and I stay away from Twitter if I can help it, Instagram is bad enough but I want to bring everyone here updates so I have to use some kind of social media. It's definitely seemed this whole time that the families have stayed separate, like when he takes Casie to an award show. Even when they're all together it feels odd. It sounds like he hasn't made blending the families very easy either and I won't defend him on that but if he believes the stuff she's said about her ex maybe he was rude to the man. Maybe they even agreed to keep everything separate mostly, I mean his daughter is a little too old for a new mom but hopefully if this is his kid then all the children can bond in some way.

I like the thought of him finding someone to be a good stepmom to his kids but I'm also just not sure he's a settling down type of guy. It never seems to work very well for him, though that might be his taste. I believe at first he thought he was getting his dream but that's also on him, people are never as perfect as they appear on screen and he was in love with the idea of her. She was in love with the idea of him. You can't build a family on illusion.

I genuinely hope she can be healthy someday, she has children who deserve to have a good relationship with all their parents. I just don't think they're healthy for each other at all and this baby won't fix that. I think as a society we've seen that a lot already to know.

[oscurascout]

Y/N As A Doorman

From That's Not My Neighbor game

Note - The D.D.D agent will be a sort of OC like he will just be there for the fun of the story but won't be that important (unless people want, ... I finally discover the read more thing, 😅).

Part 5 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10)

A whole week has passed since the Hoon incident, and the D.D.D still hasn't returned him, which has been making me, not only angry but to also overthink. I also tried to find the doppelgänger who hurt him, yet it's easier said than done. After all, I can't just go ahead and ask them. Instead, I just said 'Hoon', and I got a lot of reactions from every doppelgänger; everyone reacted in anger. I also acquired a weapon, a taser, which my father had bought for me while I was still working.

Today, I was at work, the same old routine. At this point, I didn't even need to check the ID or folders because now I knew everything like the back of my hand, though I still checked if I had my suspicions.

I let Mr. Gauss in before he tried to flirt with me. After my first week, he started to flirt with me, but as a joke, or at least I hope it's a joke. I was about to look at my phone when I saw someone else come in; it was a D.D.D agent. “What can I do for you?” I asked a bit annoyed.

D.D.D Agent - “I see you are still angry at us *chuckles*. Don't worry, your friend will be released tomorrow.”

“Really!?” I asked, surprised that they had actually listened to my requests and pleas. “He must be a high-ranking person for the D.D.D to want to release Hoon,” I thought as I tried to figure out what they were truly aiming for.

D.D.D Agent - “We are going to leave him at your home, but there is a catch.”

I looked at him angrily, “Ugh, what is it now?” I asked, very angry.

D.D.D Agent - “First, let me in, please.”

I groaned and pressed the green button; they entered and got into the office.

D.D.D Agent - *chuckles* “Okay, the second thing to say is that he is going to have to stay with you. After all, there is a very high probability that he was exiled from the group. Every time you called us to get rid of the doppelgängers, they would all scream for your friend and scream at us to 'kill the traitor.' Obviously, they all got wiped out, but it did lead us to believe that he was exiled from the doppelgängers. Therefore, he cannot return to them, or something worse will happen to him, which led us to decide that you'll become his guardian.”

“What do you think was the cause?” I asked, looking at the floor.

D.D.D Agent - “That is a possibility, but we think, it was a problem caused between him and his kind, since we did find more injuries from some time ago, showing that he probably fought against them. These are all theories, so don't overthink it.”

“Well, anything else?” I asked, somehow knowing that he was leaving something out.

D.D.D Agent - “We would like to get both yours and his approval to observe him. We already have his approval; we only need yours.”

“Observe him?” I asked, confused and annoyed at them.

D.D.D Agent - “Yes, even though he has been exiled, he is still a doppelgänger, which could help us in our research. As you know, ever since these creatures appeared, we haven't truly gathered useful information or any important information for that matter. Therefore, with your friend's help, we may come to know these creatures more and maybe, someday, truly make the world safe again. And don't worry, we'll make sure to keep him safe.”

I thought about it; it was actually a very good thing. Hoon would be safe, and they would get their research. “What type of observation will you be making?” I asked, just to be sure.

D.D.D Agent - “Well, we were thinking about normal stuff—what they eat besides humans, what they like, or just anything that he shows us, even if it is his personal opinion on things. It could still help us.”

“Alright, then when are you going to bring him home?” I asked in case I'll have to leave work early.

D.D.D Agent - “Don't worry, I'll bring him to your home and stay with him while you work.”

“Huh? Wait, what?” I asked, perplexed.

D.D.D Agent - “Yes, this is a protocol measure in which any D.D.D agent has to be there with you to protect you, in case your friend turns aggressive, and also because of the observation matter.”

“So, you'll live with me?” I asked, even more perplexed.

D.D.D Agent - *with happiness in his voice* “Yes!”

“No,” I said quickly.

D.D.D Agent - “What!? But you need someone to protect you.”

“I can do that myself,” I said without hesitation.

D.D.D Agent - “Then what about the observation?”

“I can also do that. Actually, I think Hoon would prefer me over you watching him,” I said. They seemed unable to argue with me any further. I sighed, “Why do you insist so much on living with us?” I asked, confused.

D.D.D Agent - “Well, because I've always found doppelgängers interesting. That was the whole reason why I joined the D.D.D—to be able to see them up close and see how they truly are. Yet, the sad reality is that I'm never sent to deal with them. I only get to briefly see them while I have to do a ton of paperwork.”

I thought about it. I didn't think Hoon would ever attack me, but that wouldn't be the same for all the others who were after Hoon. “Okay, you can stay with me, but you will have to pay me in some way,” I said with a smirk.

D.D.D Agent - *surprised* “Huh?”

“What did you think? That you could live with me and not do anything? Well, nope. If you want to stay, then you will either pay rent or do house chores,” I said, smiling. Even with the mask, I could feel them overthinking their life decisions. “So this is the power that parents feel,” I thought as they began to mutter to themselves.

[blck-drgn]

When making clothes with several colors, Beemoov DOES combine colors POORLY. Especially, making them literally unbearably saturated. The feeling that only the editing players themselves know how to make adequate colors for things, lol. Once again, there is no adequate blue and purple, I had to take everything into my own hands again.

I made Erica the way I see her myself. She used to be Piper's granddaughter, but due to the fact that I removed Piper from the plot of the game, I don't even know who and to whom Erika is in my canon.

I didn't go through the last episodes of Eldarya after the Russian server was closed, but I was kept informed about what was happening in the episodes. Eldarya could develop her plot further so well, could give us new characters, carefully weave them into a further plot, or CAREFULLY, WITHOUT KILLING YOUR FUCK, remove them from the plot. As well as giving us additional spin-offs about some characters (I, for example, would like to know and see the fate of Miiko, the life of Koori before coming to El Headquarters. Or tell about the same Tvilda, Ezarel and others who were taken out of the plot of the New Era. ) But instead, we're given 19 out of 20 episodes that are written as if the screenwriter just spit on the keyboard and said, "It'll do!"

It's terrible, really, just terrible.

Simply put, from a good game that used to be even better than Sweet Flirting, Eldarya has become many times worse, just slipped and turned into something incomprehensible. Eldarya is a fantasy novella where you could come up with just a sea of plot, twists and events. Show us some new races or places where some of the main characters came from before joining the El guard. Instead, we were given only carbon-copied favorites, Erica, who almost always tried to get the favorite into bed.

Seriously, it turned from a game into a simple fanfic from some 13-year-old girl. Even the fans of the game make the stories for their characters much better. Someone came up with whole genealogies, someone wrote the characters from the game better than they are written in the game itself.

I would like to note that the Origins look much richer in the plot than the New Era. And it's very embarrassing. I used to wait for episodes with great desire. To be honest, I skipped class a couple of times in college when the episodes aired. Because it was interesting, it was interesting to read and think about something, to make some notes with new information about the characters. But now it is not. After the release of the New Era, interest left. There is no desire to follow the game, because you already understand that you will not learn anything new. The character won't open up to you, you won't recognize anything that could have been written in the script. Now I see only the same favorites, the same and very boring plot.

It's terrible to accept.

I really hope that if Beemoov or the beautiful chinomiko want to do the same kind of fantasy, they will just kick their current writer and put someone who really likes the fantasy idea in his place. A person who will be interested in this topic will be looking for information and consulting with mythology so that the plot is really good and it does not turn out to be the crap that we see now.

I really hope that someday we will see something good in fantasy. I really really hope so.

Thanks for reading this text.

[marshallpupfan]

Marshall Merchandise Update!

It's been a good month since I last posted about any new finds for my Marshall collection. I dare say I've got some interesting items to show off this time! I'll try to figure out where I'm going to put them later. 😅

First up, this "Play Cup". It's basically a small coffee mug, except it's plastic and comes with a small bag of candy. The artwork of Marshall is pushed out a bit, giving it a 3D-like look instead of just being flat. I believe this item released around Easter time, but I'm not 100% sure. I was able to get this one on Ebay for a good price.

Chase also got a similar cup, but I'm not sure if the other pups got some, too. I recall seeing some of non-PAW Patrol characters, but I can't remember which ones right off hand.

Next, this insulated lunch box! Okay, I have to admit, the moment I seen that artwork of Marshall on the front, I knew I had to buy this. I mean, it's just so super-duper cute! Then again, that pup always is! 😉

Just like the Play Cup, the main artwork of Marshall here is also slightly pushed out, and it has a holographic-like outline around him, too. The material is cloth, and it has little pics of Chase, Marshall and Rubble scattered about (no Skye, Rocky or Zuma, oddly enough). There's also a little pocket on the side for a bottle. It's pretty nice!

Admittedly, when I bought this thing, I thought it was going to be kind of small. Turns out, it's nearly eleven inches tall! It easily holds the most out of all the lunch boxes I have.

Next, this micro mover of... Claw? Hey, I finally managed to obtain the last piece of merchandise of my favorite baddie from PAW Patrol! Well, the last piece available in North America, anyway. Believe it or not, they made additional items of Claw in other countries, such as the Dairy 4 Fun line of products in Germany. I don't think I'll ever own any of those, since they're surely hard to find now... and overseas shipping is usually pretty high, even for small items.

No biggie, I'm quite happy with these three items! Hey, have I mentioned lately that I'm a big fan of Claw and really hope to see him in the cartoon again someday soon? Please, Spin Master? 🥺

Last, and possible the most interesting of the items this time; this Mighty Movie theater bundle set! It came with a cup, a [removable] topper figurine, a bucket, a mask, and of course, popcorn and a drink for the movie. I got these at an AMC Theater, although I've heard other cinemas had them, too (like Regal). The whole thing cost $20.

Actually, I was worried for a while there if I was going to be able to get one or not. I figured they'd sell out quickly, and I wasn't looking forward to the idea of buying one off of Ebay for two or three times the price. Thankfully, we found out that my closest AMC Theater were selling them a day early, so we rushed up to go get one. And according to someone on Instagram, it's a very good thing that I did; they told me that, after finishing the movie, they noticed most of the kids in the lobby were wearing Marshall masks! Possibly more than any of the other pups! Wow, way to go, spotted one! 😁

Well, that's all for now! I have a friend who might send me one more Mighty Movie item that I've been looking for, but otherwise, I have a feeling this is it for movie merch. Chances are, Jungle Pups toys will be up next here in North America, since I'm sure those episodes will finally air here at the beginning of 2024. Then again, Christmas is fast approaching, so I'm sure holiday-themed products will pop up in-between time. I'll have plenty to keep my eyes open for, no doubt.

A Marshall merchandise collector's work is never done. 😅

[starjynx]

AKKUN + THE DEPTH OF HIS LOYALTY

Alright, so I haven't rambled on like this in forever about a character. This isn't even more so a headcanon as it is just over analyzing everything I can from episode four. But when I tell you I have soo many feelings for this pompadour boy you really have no idea. I'm putting all my rambling under a read more because I don't even know how long this is going to get.

tw; suicide mention

Let me just start by saying my absolute favorite episode to revisit when going back to Tokyo Revengers is episode 4. I know many don't like the show until a few more episodes in but honestly this episode really messed me up. It's his worst timeline.

Basically this is me analyzing Akkun's behavior in this episode because somebody has to. SO LET'S GO!

Just to recap what he's done prior to Takemichi timeleaping: He was arrested at 16 for stabbing Kiyomasa because he was sick of the brutal fighting rings + his friends being beaten up so severely. After he was released later Naoto goes on to say he was nothing more than a no name punk.

However this timeline changed when Akkun ended up not stabbing Kiyomasa. Akkun instead became a member of the upper echelon at Toman and is given a hostess bar to run. It's very obvious that a lot of pressure is put on Akkun to uphold image / reputation in Toman with it being held under Kisaki's thumb.

ALRIGHT NOW THAT WE'RE ALL CAUGHT UP LET'S MOVE ON TO WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO RAMBLE ABOUT.

I think what hurt me the most here is how Akkun's whole character being portrayed through this episode is a cry for help. Much like a lot of other characters from this series he's crying out for help & couldn't find a means to get any proper help in his situation.

Although we can understand it from Takemichi's POV sometimes, we also have to understand that none of the other characters obviously know Takemichi is going back in time to correct mistakes. So no hate to Takemichi in this rambling but i'm just vocalizing my thoughts for Akkun's perspective here.

This whole timeline really puts into perspective how lonely of a soul Akkun is. I say this because it's very surprising to see how easily Takemichi can get ahold of Akkun through means of his old phone number. Just thinking about how Akkun waited all these years to hear from Takemichi & his old middle school friends by means of keeping his old phone number the same?? It breaks my heart. Most would believe he'd keep a new phone number or two because of his high position in such a big gang as Toman became in this timeline but nope. He kept his old middle school flip phone phone number the same in hopes that he'd hear from him someday.

In this timeline it's still inferred that Takemichi was a shitty friend and ghosted his old friends still. Akkun was left to the wolves as his friends went about their lives. He found his own way of surviving in this bad timeline Toman. I like to think Akkun's useful in how he presents himself. He seems like a very charismatic & easily approachable individual. Hence why he probably runs a hostess lounge. It's giving me 'I gather information and clients for Toman' vibes. Which makes sense given Akkun's character. So by all means he's a dangerous guy in this sense. He has a whole lounge as preying grounds to gather information that Kisaki may need. It's not above speculation that other bad stuff probably happens behind closed doors there.

Now if we want to talk about why Akkun admitted to pushing Takemichi onto the tracks then I can only headcanon why here. It left me stumped for a while as to why he'd do so. But looking back at episode 1 when we're getting the perspective of someone sneaking up on Takemichi to push him, it's interesting to revisit knowing it's Akkun. The breathing is ragged and shaky; almost hesitant as he's walking forward to push him. The shove isn't even very aggressive or very forceful either. Maybe that's just my bias talking? If anything it seems emotionally charged on Akkun's end. Unsure if he wanted to push Takemichi but i'm sure seeing an old friend he's waited to hear or see in over 10 years leaves him with a lot of questions & feeling very bitter. And i'll ramble on about how Akkun deducted that Takemichi is a time leaper all by himself at a later date.

I'd mostly just like to talk about Akkun's loyalty here. Even if Akkun himself doesn't realize it. The sad look we see in his eyes when recalling their middle school memories. Takemichi openly saying how Akkun's physically changed but he's still the same guy he knew growing up. Even after confessing to being the one who pushed Takemichi & showing he can be dangerous individual, he still can't fight back his true nature underneath. He's truly lonely & just wanted to be a little mischievous delinquent with his friends.

He knew Takemichi calling him meant that he'd be betraying Kisaki when he invited Takemichi to come visit him at his lounge. He knew Takemichi would be bringing a cop with him, because Takemichi didn't even call as a means to see Akkun. Takemichi called Akkun as a means to meet up with Mikey. Which also breaks my heart because all Akkun's wanted was for his friends to reach out to him. So knowing that it wasn't going to be a friendly reunion, Akkun despite everything and all the bitter emotions still sees him. He just slings an arm around Takemichi & they catch up like it's normal. He can't bury down the bonds with his friends. He even goes on to cry & confess that he doesn't understand how it's gotten so bad. This is a statement to Akkun's real loyalty with friends. Ignoring that he tried to kill him, okay? Despite how hard he might try to come off as a cold individual, he truly can't. His heart is too big & especially for those he cares about. Because true to it's word... a leopard never changes its spots.

A statement even Kisaki knows. Because funny how Kisaki is shown lurking on the rooftop after Akkun's jumped to his death. After hearing Akkun's plea to Takemichi for help & to save everyone. Not even asking Takemichi to save himself, he was asking Takemichi to save everyone. He just wants everyone to live better lives than what Kisaki's agenda is. Even being within Kisaki's higher ranks, Kisaki must've known all along that if Akkun were ever to get into contact with Takemichi that Akkun would stay true to his heart & give Takemichi any information he wanted. Much to Kisaki's distaste.

All I can tell is that Kisaki was either there to hear everything Akkun was going to reveal to Takemichi or he was there to kill Akkun had Akkun not taken his own life after this encounter. Either way, Akkun's true attest to his friendships... no matter how long its been. No matter how hurt he's felt about being ghosted. No matter everything that transpires in between he's always true in the end to those his heart has reserved a spot for. Loyalty Kisaki could never acquire. Thus Kisaki, much like everyone else, has to instill fear into. Akkun had to known Kisaki would show up to kill him because he also knew Kisaki would hear about Takemichi & a cop showing up to see him. He's far from dumb; he already knew the sacrifice he was making to see Takemichi under these conditions. He went through with it anyway.

TLDR; Akkun may lack confidence and can be easily influenced but when it comes to loyalty there's very few more loyal to others than he is. I love him with my whole heart your honor.

[wavernot4love]

hello wanted 2 talk about a bunch of fun things from Thursday first show of War All The Time tour 2nite at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo (this will include setlist spoilers)

(starting with a random little video of title track, the rest of it is in the keep reading thingy)

- TURNPIKE DIVIDES FOR THE LAST SONG??? they let her see the light of day!!! i am probably the only person who has heard her at 2/3 of the thursday sets they have seen /lh

- geoff took the piss out of victory records for not paying bands while talking about how i'll be you & jbny are mirrors of each other then played them back to back (also described jbny as their heaviest song.... correct!!!)

- crowd was GREAT. great pits, surfing vibes, actually hell, vibes were just great all around.

- make sure you get there early so you can catch both many eyes & rival schools (steve (thursday) actually played for rival schools today which was cool). i thoroughly enjoyed both sets, and tonight honestly made me a fan of many eyes as a project. i wasn't sure what to expect receptionwise from a buffalo crowd [insert every time i die lore] but everyone showed up for keith (buckley, former singer of etid)/them. i also thought he/they did great, and he seemed genuinely humbled. also saw him around after the show, bro was loading out merch so i didn't wanna bother him, but yeah, dude seemed chill. really enjoyed the songs as well, i'll be spinning them and staying tuned for future releases for sure.

- between that set, everyone just feeling like a true community all night, & a cameo from a local scene legend (if you know hardcore, the singer of terror/buried alive was watching sidestage all show, keith shouted him out hahaha), let's just say i felt like how i'd imagine patriotic americans feel when they hear the national anthem, but the western new yorker edition.

- between rupture and rapture & division st. were probably my favorite non big singles. so great to hear watt in full dude and the crowd was very engaged the whole time

- one thing that really sucks is geoff explained as they came out that pretty much all their instruments randomly got stolen right before they left for tour, so they were a little panicky and stuff but basically, nothing was gonna stop them from having a good time in buffalo (paraphrased). apparently when they were sorting out the tour routing a while back someone told them they should start in toronto but they were like, nah dude, we want to start in buffalo. back to my western ny patriotism analogy, i see. anyways, now that's what i call resilience. they put on a great performamce with such great energy, you can tell this is a band that truly loves doing this whole thing. support the guys extra hard this run.

- as the opening bit of understanding started i looked back at the carnage going on in the giant pit that was open at the moment and had to just. smile at That being a moment people were crowdkilling each other to /lh

- i brought my (digital) point & shoot and shot from the crowd! very stoked on those as i was quite close all show, will update with those once i edit em! will probably also be posting a review kinda thing on my site/ziney thing once i get that back up and published

- one final thing that haunts me is the wonder of what geoff was talking about here in this instagram story post from earlier. i even stuck around after the show (which ended around 10:30) in case... i don't know, thursday were to fly out of some sort of confetti cannon at 11 pm sharp, i have no idea, dude. someday i will ask geoff about Minds Blown - 11.00pm

anyway, every time i've seen thursday this past year of having the joy of really knowing their music (i'd heard of them of course just through being in the scene for years, but had just never listened then) thursdayband has come 2 mean more and more to me and i truly hope they never stop playing together as long as it makes them happy <3

[fragileswift1313]

Bing!

Kia ora, friends!

I think I may need to preface this for those not necessarily keeping up with tech news, so a few weeks ago at this point, Microsoft announced it was releasing ‘The New Bing’, powered by a version of ChatGPT, which is an update to their search engine that competes with Google. Now, if you’re not familiar with ChatGPT, that’s a whole other topic that is well outside of the scope of this post (or even this publication!), but this article from The Verge might be able to give you some context. This new version of Bing is pretty cool and I’ve played around with it a bit, and I wanted to share with you all some of the stuff I’ve gotten out of it.

So on a whim a recently, I decided to ask Bing to write me a poem. To be honest I was kind of shocked, because it’s so good, it feels like magic. I had a particular person in mind when I asked for this, and it just fits so well with how I really feel. Of course I can’t claim any kind of credit for this, a robot wrote it, but I felt like I desperately needed to share it with the world because it’s so fucking good.

The prompt was ‘heartbreak, hatred and loss’, and the following is what it gave me:

You broke my heart into pieces You filled my soul with hatred You took away all my reasons To live, to love, to create Now I'm left with nothing but pain Nothing but memories of you Nothing but scars that remain Of the love that was never true I wish I could forget you forever I wish I could erase you from my mind I wish I could find a new lover Who would be gentle and kind But you haunt me like a ghost You linger in my dreams You are the one I loved the most And the one who made me scream So how can I move on from this loss? How can I heal this wound? How can I bear this cross? That weighs me down like a tomb Maybe someday I'll find peace Maybe someday I'll forgive Maybe someday I'll release The hatred that makes me live But until then, I'll write these words To express what's in my heart To let go of these hurts And make a new start.

After reading that, I decided to give Bing the same prompt but with a “happy ending,” and it wrote this:

You broke my heart into pieces You filled my soul with hatred You took away all my reasons To live, to love, to create But then I met someone new Someone who made me smile Someone who saw me through The darkness and the trial He showed me how to love again He healed my broken heart He gave me hope and joy and pain And a brand new start Now I'm grateful for what you did You made me stronger and wiser You helped me find my true love's bid And become a better person So thank you for breaking my heart Thank you for making me hate Thank you for taking apart My life, my love, my fate Because of you, I found the one Who loves me more than you ever did Who makes me happy and makes me fun Who is my partner and my friend.

These honestly gave me goosebumps when I read them. A machine wrote this. I mean I guess technically not just one machine but many, but it’s still bizarre to me that AI technology finally feels like it has arrived. It’s not perfect of course, and you may have heard about some of the bizarre things Bing was saying before Microsoft put some additional chains on it, but it’s still really fucking cool.

As far as I’m aware, Microsoft is currently taking requests for access to this, but if you have a Microsoft account and a device that can run their Edge browser (there is also a dedicated Bing app on the iOS apps store), you can head to bing dot com and reserve your place in the queue. I think this is really cool; it remionds me of the first time I got to interact with Siri on a family member’s iPhone 4s, how magic that was to finally see a voice assistant that worked. I’m really excited about the future of this technology, y’all!

Thanks so much for reading! As always, if you have comments/questions/suggestions, you can hit me up at the links at the bottom of the page. I also have a personal Tumblr page where I mostly just Taylorpost (the term I invented for endlessly reblogging GIFs of Taylor Swift) and reblog stuff that I like? And, there’s that email address there now too!

Thanks again, everyone. I’ll talk to you all again soon. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚

Socials etc | Twitter | Mastodon | Cohost | Substack | itch.io | Letterboxd | Instagram | Carrd | Email

[cirqosmos]

a text that I will never send to you

🥀genre: ldr, first love, angst, angst here and there, angst everywhere, texting blah blah,

🥀word count: 847

📻bgm: Accel World - Bye Bye

🖋️a/n: just wanna show this version of route 1.. kinda inspired by youtuber dottovu (a va) this is what route 1 was supposed to be if it wasn't a yandere genre, a whole angsty book to break your heart, yes. No happy ending, folks. Also your gonna break ur heart more if u read this w the bgm.

You took your phone, gathering the courage. Pressing your old chats with him, your fingers making its way on the keyboard. Releasing all your emotions as you typed everything you've always wanted to say.

—

you are typing. . .

Hey, it’s been a long time.

It has been 5 months, wasn’t it?

I really don’t know what should I ask to be honest. . .

Since I really suck at starting a conversation now,

Now that I think about it, I was wondering how did you even last for many months with me?

With all my petty acts, the way I’m so boring sometimes, and even when I give you a silent treatment,

You were always there trying to talk to me

But I’m so immature, wasn’t I?

I’m not the best with words and certainly not the best with these type of relationship

Considering that you were my first love

How funny, wasn’t it?

I don’t know if I can even call you my first love

I don’t even know if I can call this true feelings

When I only see you through the pictures you sent me

When I only feel your warmth through the voices messages you sent me

When I only feel happiness whenever I see your texts

When i haven’t even touch you or feel how warm your hand is

Or at least, stroke your cheeks with my finger

Or at least, touch your hair and feel how soft it is

It was only through this phone that I was able to communicate with you

To be honest, I never really think much about it

Because I knew someday we would eventually meet

Hang out together, have fun together, and be happy together

When you show me the pics of you cooking food

It makes me smile, it makes me excited that I want to eat it

That I would eventually have the chance to eat the food you make someday

And the fact that you’re going to make them for me

But I think it’s not going to happen now.

Seeing you brings smile to my face

But I guess, someone is making you smile now.

But it’s okay!

As long as you’re happy then I’m happy

Ah.. I really hope i’m not troubling you by saying all of this..

But can I see your face again?

I just really want to see you and how you look like again

That even no matter how I tried to remember how you look

Just like the floating clouds in the sky, it eventually fades slowly and slowly

Till I have to check my gallery that no longer have your pictures

That I deleted out of anger

And now I regret it.

Are you actually happy there?

Are you eating well?

Are you having fun with your friends?

And also with her?

I really hope you're doing well

Don't always get sick,

And I hope you're doing good at school

And even when you're not, don't stress yourself about it

You're always doing well no matter what happen

And I believe in that, because I believe in you

I also hope that your puppy will always be healthy, and always bring him outside.. along with her.

I'm always hoping that you're having a better, happy and wonderful life somewhere out there, and it will always be one of my wishes for you.

But you know, my heart aches.

That one of our dreams never came true

I thought it would, however…

You changed, the way you talk to me changed.

It doesn't feel the same anymore, and I already knew it changed that moment but I just want to stay a bit longer, a little bit more..

Hoping that the you before would come back again

But how delusional am I?

That someone had caught your heart

Even though we never met in real life,

I still can sense it behind that screen.

But it's okay!

I hope you're happy with her

Making food for her,

Hanging out with her,

Sharing your secrets with her ..

And loving her.

Everything you've promised to me before,

It's okay if you can't do it for me.

But I hope you would do it for her,

Don't make her cry, okay?

Make her happy.

Be happy together, okay?

And I'll be happy for you both..

But you know,

I still miss you,

And I still love you,

Even when you told me first,

"I love you."

And then you end it with,

"It's not true love."

—

With a heavy heart as your finger were just a few inches away to press 'send'.

To send that text to the boy you never met but the only one you've ever love. You will never know if this was true love, but one thing's for sure, you've loved him and you've wish nothing but his happiness even when his heart already belongs to someone.

Deleting the message, you weeped on the comfort of your couch as the TV screen shines on your face, tears flowing down to your cheeks.

[forever-rogue]

could you do a blurb in fatws where bucky and the reader have feelings for each other and zemo is trying to flirt with the reader?

Warnings: use of pet name [bunny], mention of toys, references to sex, possessive!Bucky, language, minors dni

A/N: Yuh, I would love to have Bucky and Zemo fight over me so here we are 😇

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You looked at Bucky’s back, biting your lip as you contemplated your next actions. You know what Zemo was trying to do; his half-masked attempts at flirting were not exactly subtle. And for some reason...you weren’t totally abhorred by the thought of Helmut Zemo making a move on you. He was handsome, that was easy to see, and it had been a while since you’ve had...anyone. Quite frankly your hand and toys weren’t cutting it anymore.

It wasn’t like you could wait for Bucky for forever. At some point you’d have to accept that either he didn’t feel the same way or he just wasn’t ever going to make a move. Over the past year your little back and forth with him continued to grow but it never amounted to anything besides a lingering touch here and there or longing looks thrown in the other’s direction when you thought they weren’t looking, and very flirtatious banter. But still...you could make a move on your own, but you were too stubborn - just like him.

Maybe Zemo wasn’t a bad choice after all. He’d been more friendly lately, making his desire for you known to everyone. In some ways it was a little bold and exhilarating; to have someone be this brazen in their desire for you. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t warmed up to the possibility of having him.

“Tell me,” you accepted the drink he slid across the island at you, leaning over on your elbows so he could see down the front of your loose shirt. It wasn’t a subtle move, but at this point it didn’t matter, “when’s the last time you’ve been with anyone, Baron?”

Zemo almost looked startled by your question - almost. He kept his cool and took a long drag of his drink, finishing it off and setting it back down on the cool granite. The corners of his lips pulled into a wolfish smile as he studied you for a moment. You put on your best poker face as you tried not to let any of the cracks show, “it has been a while. Why little bunny? What’s got you so interested?”

“You look like you know how to touch a woman,” you threw back the rest of your drink, hoping it would work like liquid courage. Despite not being particularly loud, you could sense that Bucky heard you across the apartment, seeing his head turn slightly from the corner of your eye. This was a dangerous game indeed, and yet you were thrilled with it, “like you know just how to give me what I need.”

“Have you ever been with a man?” he asked suddenly as a tingle spread throughout your body. He took a step closer, slowly making his way over to you, “or have they all been boys?”

“Umm,” you were speechless as he leaned over and put his hand on your face, slowly stroking his thumb over your cheek. Your lips parted as you looked at him like a deer in headlights. He was close enough to where you could smell his aftershave and count every little freckle. He really was handsome, “n-no.”

“Are you scared little bunny?” he leaned in so his lips were just shy of yours and part of you was screaming to close the gap and kiss him, “you weren’t so shy before. Or are you afraid that you can’t handle it?”

“I-I can handle it,” you gasped as he ghosted his fingers along your jaw and down the column of your throat before lightly putting his whole hand around your throat. He was squeezing ever so slightly, but it was just enough to dizzy you and leave you wanting more, “please.”

While the two of you stared at each other, it was like the world had stopped existing and Bucky wasn’t in the adjacent room. He’d overheard every word, seen every little moment, attempting to compose himself, but it was getting harder with each passing second. You were his, not Zemo’s.

“You have such a smart little mouth,” he said slowly as he licked his lips, “I wonder if you’re able to put it to good use for something other than talking back. Are you going to let me-”

“Get your hands off of her,” the voice was cold as ice as the two of froze and slowly turned to find Bucky standing there, nothing but anger in his eyes. You swallowed the lump in your throat as Zemo removed his hand from your throat and crossed his arms over his chest, “she’s mine.”

“I wasn’t aware she belonged to anyone,” the two men stared at each other intently as you weren’t sure what to do, “I think the little bunny is free to do whatever she wants. Tell James what you want.”

“I…” you stared at the floor for a moment, studying your feet while you felt the two men studying you intently, “I...dunno.”

“Come on little bunny.”

“Umm…” you slowly looked up and then found your eyes wandering over to Bucky. He met yours with a steely gaze that caused a shiver to run down your spine and a tingling in your lower belly, “James.”

Zemo tuttled lightly, a small sound of disappointment as he looked between the two of you. He took a step back and nodded; the Baron was a lot of things, but he wasn’t about to impose or force himself on anyone. As soon as his name had left your lips, you seemed surprised that you’d said anything, a warm flush creeping into your neck and cheeks.

“And so she has made her choice,” Zemo said as he poured himself another drink, unfazed by the whole situation, “if you should ever choose to come to a different conclusion little bunny, do let me know.”

Without another word, he nodded at the two of you before clutching his drink and walking out of the kitchen, humming quietly under his breath. It was almost dead silent as he retreated and closed the door to his bedroom, leaving the two of you to stare silently at each other. Bucky’s gaze was unwavering and intense, and you felt as though you were slowly coming undone in front of him. When the silent became too great, you cleared your throat, ready to scramble away to your own quarters.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” Bucky reached out and grabbed your arm in gentle, but firm grip, effectively stopping you in your tracks. You swallowed thickly as you turned to look back at him with nervous eyes. When you didn’t say anything, he raised an eyebrow, “I asked you a question: where do you think you’re going?”

“I…” you trailed off as you watched him look at you with hungry, dark eyes, pupils completely blown with lust, “just leaving.”

“I’m not done with you yet,” he practically growled as you left all of that go directly to your already aching cunt, “I meant what I said - you’re mine.”

“I thought you didn’t feel the same,” you were looking at much with such surprised innocence that it was a miracle Bucky didn’t take you then and there, “you never-”

“Guess I jus’ needed that asshole to remind me of how much you mean to me,” he released his grasp on your arm and gently reached up to touch your face. After all this time - you’d never been reading the signs incorrectly at all, “just the idea of him touching you disgusts me.”

“What are you going to do about it then, Buck?” you gripped his wrist and pulled his hand away, a challenging look on your face as you tilted your head to the side, “so far you’ve been all talk.”

Maybe the alcohol was suddenly working as a confidence boost. Normally you would have shied away or let him take full control but today you were feeling...confident. The fact that two grown men had all but fought over you didn’t hurt either.

“You want this?” he licked his lips as his eyes instinctively fell to yours. Of course you wanted this; you’d practically been throwing yourself at him for the last year. You nodded slightly and his smile just grew, stretching from ear to ear, “you better be real sure sweetheart. I won’t be gentle and I won’t be nice. You are mine in every way and you will do what I say. Understood?”

Your jaw was clutched in his hand and his grip was practically bruising. Your whole body was burning with lust and desire, wanting him to use you and mark you up as his, “I’m yours, Bucky. Use me as you please.”

“I’m going to like this,” this was a side you’d never seen before of him and you suddenly wondered why you’d never tapped into it before. Despite his words, you knew he would never truly hurt you, “you’re such a good little bunny, aren’t you?”

“Mhmm,” you sighed, head already empty except for thoughts of him and what you wanted him to do to you, “I’ll be good.”

“Then on your knees,” he insisted as you readily complied, letting your knees hit the cool tile of the floor, “and do as I say.”

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[yutahoes]

Ghost of You

pairing: idol! Yuta (NCT member) x idol! Y/N (solo idol-actress)

word count : 5k words

genre: angst

summary: He was the one who ended everything. But you’re like a ghost that kept haunting him. 

warning : break up, alleged cheating, pregnancy, a fic where you just want to strangle Yuta to death 

Based on this ask. I’m sorry, I tweaked the story and changed some of the song (especially the Olivia Rodrigo one because it doesn’t fit the story) The songs I used are linked in the story. Also, I have no idea how the idol world works and please note that this is just fanfiction. Please Enjoy reading. 

Broken glass, an empty unruly apartment. Signs that a big fight happened. All because of a tabloid article of him seeing his co-host late at night. Yuta argued that she needed someone to talk to and Y/N was angry that he winged their anniversary V-live just for this. “You can tell me if you’re sick of me, Yuta.” she claimed that made him hiss. “Don’t you think I didn’t notice? You’re always making up things just so you can’t meet me.” 

“That’s not true!” Yuta shouted. “I am busy.” 

Tears ran down her face. “Then explain how Jungwoo had lunch with me last Friday when you said that you’re practicing with your members.”    

“Stop saying that I don’t even make time for you.” His voice raised in frustration. “When all you do is hang out with that co-star of yours.” 

The girl scoffed. “So it’s my fault now? It’s work, Yuta.” It’s always the same reason. “I asked you a lot of times if you’re alright with the drama and you never mention anything. Now, you’re using it against me?” 

The guy shook his head. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“And I’m also tired.” She whispered. “Let’s end this, Yuta.” She threw the promise ring before leaving the apartment. 

The news next day was about Y/N erasing pictures of them in her social media accounts. The breakup news between the solo idol and the NCT member followed. Taeyong just shook his head watching Yuta exit the CEO’s office with droopy shoulders. “I really like her for you, hyung.” Mark claimed when he entered the practice room. 

He didn’t know where it went wrong. They were happy. Everyone likes their relationship. His fans are her fans, and hers are his. They were tagged as the greatest idol couple, often paired in dances since it’s both their strengths. Y/N was casted in a period drama and he’s a supportive boyfriend who visited her the first day of the filming and thanked everyone for taking care of his girlfriend. She filmed romantic scenes, kissing her actor co-star. And he was fine. “It’s work, Yuta.” She would always say. And he would just smile. 

He started hosting a radio show with a female Japanese idol and he was cold at her, wanting to stir away from controversy. But as her drama progressed, with more romantic scenes and more kissing, he felt left out. She’s becoming a star. And he’s becoming Y/N’s idol boyfriend. Slowly, he’s getting fed up with the relationship that’s slowly getting centered on her. 

It felt like a breath of fresh air that it all ended now. Like a thorn removed from his aching heart. 

All the public’s sympathy went to her, as he expected. She’s the star. The more famous one among the two of them. So he just painted himself as the bad guy by confirming that he’s dating his co-host which surprised the other girl. The agency was surprised at the decision but it became such a media frenzy that their radio show got high ratings every week. Even the sales of their album spiked up and he became known as NCT’s Yuta and not as someone’s idol boyfriend.

Everything is getting better. 

-----      

It was the end of the year award show when they crossed paths again. They were doing a great job avoiding each other. Why now? Nine members meant a vacant seat from the round table artists are seated at. The staff repeatedly apologized but as kind as she is, she just smiled and sat between Doyoung and Jaehyun, just across Yuta. She greeted all the members, even complimenting Haechan’s hair and Taeil’s suit. “Congratulations on best album.” she greeted, smiling widely to avoid the awkwardness. 

“Aren’t you releasing an album as well?” Johnny asked that made her nod. “Another dance track?” Taeyong asked but Y/N shook her head saying that it was a ballad album and that she will perform later. The guys were obviously surprised, ballad isn’t her best track. She’s more known for her dancing skills so it is indeed a huge surprise. 

When the best female idol awardee was called, the NCT members all stood up to congratulate her. Jungwoo even helped her with her pink lace gown. She did the usual thank you message: thanking her parents, the almighty being, the management, the staffs, and her fans. “And lastly…” Yuta gasped. Whenever she gets an award, she thanks him lastly for comforting and always supporting her. “Please watch out for my album.” He felt his heart drop, especially when she smiled that angelic smile. Why is she shaking him like this? 

Yuta was already bored. He just wants to go home. The lights dimmed and the emcees announced her as the next performer. Because it’s a live performance, they showed some clips of her photoshoot for her new album. He had to agree that this concept fits her. She looked prettier than when they used to go out.

He was more surprised to see an orchestra accompaniment behind her on stage. Her, seated on a platform, wearing a white sequined dress that shines like stars when the spotlight shone on her. The crowd clapped just as the start of the song played. (Imagine this as the performance.) 

The other members warily glanced at him. A break up song. Why isn’t he surprised? 

My dream changed - instead of a famous singer, I tried to become a good wife

He remembered how she would always try to learn to cook whenever she had extra time. She never mentioned anything to him. It was until one night, they were laying next to each other, when she asked him if he wanted her to continue being an idol. That made him curious that time. She loved performing. Why would she ask that? 

Now, he knew why. 

By the time the second chorus rolled in, he was just amazed at how she could sing those notes while seated down. Her singing really got better. 

Someday you’ll probably call me then I hope you will be a man and congratulate me

Because this is all thanks to you, I’ll prepare a good thank you message for you

He can hear Mark giggling beside him. Johnny pursed his lips as if preventing to laugh. “Hyung, please record her thank you message.” the youngest member teased that made him annoyed. 

Her voice echoed all throughout the venue. Her adlibs hitting notes that she cannot do before and she’s sitting while doing that. 

Slowly, I got over you like that

Their eyes met. Those sparkling eyes. She’s shining. She looks well. She looks better. Without him. 

The fresh air suffocated him, burning his lungs in the process. The thorn that was removed came back and brought friends, a knife tearing his heart into pieces. 

Everything is getting better. For her. Not for him.

The moment he went inside the empty apartment, he felt like breaking down. This is harder than the time she left. He missed her. He’s a wreck without her. A huge mess. Why is he taken over by his jealousy? She deserves to be the center of the relationship. The star. She deserves the whole world. Is it too late for him to get everything back now? He took his phone as a song on the radio played, “Mark, I need your help.” 

Another award show meant another chance to cross paths with her. To Y/N’s surprise, Yuta congratulated her with a wide smile after winning an award. The staffs were repeatedly asking if the members were sure of doing this that made the manager and the leader nod. Johnny was seated in front of the grand piano, Mark on one side with his guitar. Taeil, Doyoung, Jaehyun, and Yuta seated on different chairs in the middle of the stage. (Song)

Johnny started the melody while Mark played his guitar. Jaehyun started the song that made Y/N look at them from the artists’ place. Yuta smiled. Her favorite band. Taeil started singing the chorus with Yuta as back-up vocals. Doyoung sang the second verse while Jaehyun sang the chorus, followed by Taeil. By the end of the song, they lightly glance at Yuta. His last cry for her. 

So I drown it out like I always do

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

And I chase it down, with the shot of truth

He glanced at her, staring straight to those sparkling eyes. 

That my feet don’t dance like they did with you

The lights dim but he saw her silhouette remain on her seat, shoulders visibly heaving. Behind the spotlight, Yuta finally realized that like a ghost, he cannot shake her off. She’ll keep haunting him because he cannot let go of her. Yuta finally realized that he is still in love with her. 

They had been busy with the concerts abroad and she had been busy with the promotion of her album. Yuta’s co-host quit the radio show and days later, it was announced that she was pregnant. The members were surprised at first but it was her who confirmed that Yuta isn’t the father of the child. The public sympathy went to Yuta for the alleged cheating that the girl had done, making him in the center of the media frenzy once again. 

It was a Japanese radio show when he met Y/N again. He had to promote the Japanese leg of their concert while she promoted her Japanese single. She looked casual greeting him, as if nothing happened but her words echoed in his ears “It’s just work, Yuta.” Maybe it was really nothing to her. 

They were seated next to each other. He watched her put on her headphones then rubbed her palms together. “I kinda forgot Japanese.” she claimed then said a Japanese phrase to introduce herself. “Is that right?” He nodded, his warm gaze still on hers. Too casual. “I’m nervous.” 

He wanted to hug her. Comfort her. Tell her that everything will be alright. That he’s next to her so she doesn’t have to worry about anything. 

But he can’t. She’s not his. 

The host kept on claiming that they looked good together that startled them both. When the staff told him something in Japanese, he kept on apologizing while saying that he doesn’t know that they used to date. She just smiled, shaking her head to avoid the awkwardness. She really did move on. The radio show went smoothly until the last part where they had to sing a duet together. Y/N was obviously surprised. Didn’t she know? “We can skip it if you don’t want to.” Yuta whispered. 

Once again she shook her head. “It’s fine. I just haven’t prepared for it.” she claimed while looking at the music sheet. “The notes are a little high.” 

“You’ll do great. Your singing got better.” She giggled at the reference and he smiled. He missed her laugh. 

Y/N focused on the lyrics, asking the translator to tell her what the words mean or how to pronounce it. Yuta was reading the lyrics, seated next to her when she laughed. “Yuta,” she called and he felt his heart jump from his chest. He missed her voice calling his name. “Should we switch parts?” He looked surprised, curious even. “I mean, the lyrics.” 

Yuta smiled. “Should we?” 

Y/N giggled. “Sometimes I am convinced they’re doing this on purpose.” He smiled while looking at her. He missed her. So much. 

The host was asking repeatedly if they want to continue this, apologizing if it ever makes them uncomfortable but she would just smile and shake her head. He thanked her for being professional and she grinned, making Yuta breathless. He missed her smile. 

They were introduced and she even made a fighting sign at him as the melody started. It was a lonely song and Yuta poured all his feelings on his part. (This is the song they used. Dude, can they just remaster it by asking Yuta to sing this?) 

Long time no see

His eyes turned to her. He missed everything about her. 

We cannot express how we feel

Breath echoes in our ears 

The radio show staff all turned to them in surprise. 

My dear, you’ve already found a new love

She turned to him with her sparkling eyes. 

There is no one like you

I am cheating my heart

He sang while staring at her. She even missed the first beat of her part then smiled while looking at the music sheet in front of them. The bridge of the song came and the staff looked in awe at both of them.  

But you are not mine anymore

They stared at each other while singing those words. By the end of the song, Y/N’s voice was breaking so she stepped farther from the mic immediately. A smile escaped her lips when the host asked if she’s alright, apologizing that she ruined the song. Everyone were giving them compliments, fans commenting on how amazing they deliver the song and wishing that they can do a collab in the future. 

“Y/N,” Yuta called on the hallways of the building. He breathed hard while she just nodded at her manager, asking her to go first. “I…” He started but the words cannot come out of his mouth. I’m sorry. My ego got the worst of me. My insecurity caused our fall. I’m a wreck without you. Please come back to me. 

“Let’s not talk about it, Yuta.” She said while shaking her head. “We were immature. We’re so used to each other that we took each other for granted.” She grinned once again, eyes sparkling. Upon closer look, he figured out why. Her tears were forming. Like little pearls in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Yuta.” The words he cannot tell her. “Let’s be happy, hmm?” 

Yuta smiled, taking the hand she held out. “Can I call you when I am feeling miserable?” 

The girl laughed. “My number didn’t change.” She claimed. “And I still have to give you my thank message.” 

He pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms. “I missed you, Y/N.” 

------

Fans were delighted seeing Y/N and Yuta seated next to each other in the V-live account. A thing they always do every year on their anniversary. She was smiling, her lovely smile, while waving at the camera. Yuta adjusted the camera to capture them both before smiling his angelic smile. 

“I didn’t know your V-live account still works even if it isn’t used for a year.” She claimed, leaning in to read some comments. “I also didn’t know that there are still fans who come in this V-live account.” The number of watching people raised up that startled even Yuta. 

They both introduced themselves in a lively manner before the NCT member explained that they did this V-live as a thank you to fans who trended the song they sang in Japan. “I didn’t know that it would blow up like this.” He claimed and she nodded, even laughing at how embarrassing it is that her voice broke in the end. 

They started reading some comments about how fans missed them together, that they look together, and that their playfulness as a couple came back. “Are you back together?” Yuta read, pointing at the comment. 

“We’re not together together,” Y/N started then emphasized the last word with air quote marks. “We’re just…” She lightly glanced at him who was looking at her, mirroring the same smile she had. “Just patching things up and fixing ourselves.” Yuta continued for her. 

“Is there a possibility of a come back?” 

Y/N giggled before pointing at Yuta. “NCT is coming back with a new album. I’m preparing for a fall comeback.” The guy laughed at that. “Yuta, do you want to be featured in my album?” 

He nodded immediately. “Will you write me a love song?” 

She grinned, shaking her head playfully. “I’m not gonna write you a love song~” she sang before laughing. Yuta chuckled, poking her side playfully. “But we’ll see.” 

The fan asked what they had been up to. Y/N shared that she’s writing songs for her album and Yuta saying that he hangs out with the members often and the preparations for their comeback. “I’ve been hanging out with Jaehyun a lot.” he claimed, “I’ve been liking his music choices lately.” 

“You’re already done with your rocker state?” She asked, feigning a shock. “What song have you been listening to lately?” 

Yuta smiled, taking his phone out of his pocket. He played the song and Y/N smiled that there’s still a rockish feel on it.  (Song)

Oh, all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around

Yuta mouthed the words, trying to look for comments but his gaze was on her while jamming on the song. A smile crept his lips and he saw how one fan pointed out that he’s so in love with her. He is. 

“This song is so nice.” 

“Honestly, it kinda reminds me of you.”

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady And I am just a boy’

He’s singing ‘She’s a, She’s a lady’ And I am just a line without a hook’

Oh baby, I am a wreck when I’m without you I need you here to stay

She looked surprised when Yuta sang the lines of the songs. The side of his lips curled up when he saw the sparkle back in her eyes. They talked a bit about what fans should watch out from their respective schedules. They said goodbye in a lively manner before Yuta ended the V-live. 

Y/N leaned on the couch, breathing heavily. She lightly glanced at Yuta and he smiled. “Want to get some sushi?” She nodded, grinning widely. 

Yuta cannot shake her off. Like a ghost, she will keep haunting him. And hopefully, she can come back to him. 

[komoreangel]

𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬

pairing: kazuha x reader

scenario: kazuha takes you to the lake for a romantic getaway, and he finds himself reminiscing of days long gone…ah, but you’re here with him, and that’s the only blessing he really needs, isn’t it?

genre: fluff, kazuha misses his friend but he loves u a lot !! + kazuha with messy hair hdbnd

request: KAZUHA AND HIS S/O SWIMMIGN TOGTHER IN A LAKE <\\3 SO ROMANTIC

a/n: SO TRUE ANON!! man,,,no ones doing it like kazuha,,,sexy and romantic? 🏃‍♀️

he woke you up that morning with a soft grin, telling you he had great plans for the day ahead. you had only just woken up, and already the words that fell upon your ears were nothing short of adoration, along with him trying his best to convince you to agree.

his efforts were in vain, because you would’ve followed him anywhere without hesitation. after getting dressed and grabbing your things, he took you by the hand and the two of you made your way out of the harbor. the crux was temporarily docked there while beidou visited ningguang (which the crew knew could take days, as it was painfully obvious they were more than just business partners).

“kazuha, where are you taking me?” you asked him after a while. you had thought he was planning on going to guyun stone forest again, as the shores of his homeland, inazuma, we’re faintly visible from there. he loved telling you stories about the land of his birth, and always said he’d take you there someday.

“don’t fret, y/n, it’s just a different route this time,” he assured you. however, the farther you got from the coast, the more you realized he had a different location in mind. before you could joke about how he’d tricked you, the two of you stood on a cliff overlooking luhua pool.

he offered to carry your bag and set it down in the sand. “darling, come here,” he called. you went over to him, leaning your head on his shoulder as you gazed at the crystal blue waters in front of you. the weather was rather nice that day, and he was ecstatic to have you here with him.

after enjoying the scenery for a while, he once more took you by the hand, with his eyes only on you and nowhere else. “you want to go in?” you have to admit, the water was gorgeous, and it had been getting a bit hot, as if the sun itself would concede to his wishes. “but i’m just in my clothes, i don’t..” he pulled you closer to the water, slightly chuckling at your protests.

“relax, dearest. there’s no harm in getting your clothes wet, is there? it’s hot enough outside that just setting them on the deck will dry them by tomorrow.” you can’t help but agree with him, especially when he looks at you like that. “alright, but if my clothes get ruined, it’s on you.” you tell him. his eyes light up at your words, and the two of you head closer to the water.

“of course, i’ll take full responsibility.” he replies, and as he steps further into the lake, you follow after him. you move your foot forwards, not realizing how deep the water is, and before you can stop yourself, are falling headfirst into the lake. your hair, along with all of your clothes, are now soaked. to your surprise (and slight annoyance), kazuha lifts you up with one hand, his hands steadying you.

“be careful, y/n. we don’t want you drowning, now do we?” you are slightly miffed that he didn’t help you earlier (because from past experience you know he was fully capable of stopping you from falling) and in retaliation you lean down into the water, as if to look for something. he notices, and turns towards you. “is something the matter?”

“yeah, i’m looking for my bracelet, it fell off in the water.” at this, he also leans down beside you, unaware that the bracelet you speak of is actually in your bag, which he was carrying earlier. as soon as his face nears the water, you push him down, his surprise evident as he lets out a yelp of surprise. you laugh at his struggle, as for once, the man who is always ever so eloquent and full of nothing but the most elegant of words is startled.

his head rises above the water with a tired smile on his face. “i suppose i should’ve expected that, hm?” his hair is wet, and has gotten messy from the sudden submersion into the lake. despite it being a prank of yours, you can’t help but think he looks even prettier this way. you help him up, continuing to laugh as you do so.

"sorry," you say between giggles. he continues to grin, pausing to add, "you didn't actually lose the bracelet, did you?" the bracelet was a gift from him to you for one of your anniversaries. "of course not, kaz. i'd never lose it."

he smiles at you and turns his gaze to the water. it wasn't long ago he was standing here with tomo... hoping to himself that things would forever stay that way. moments like these are when he truly understands the shogun's desire for 'eternity'. for the time we spend with our loved ones to last forever, and for the emotions and feelings we hold dearly to never end.

"kazuha, are you okay?" you've moved towards him, your hand on his shoulder. he falters a bit. "ah...yes, darling, don't worry. just lost in a thought, that's all." the smile you give at his words is everything to him, even if you don't know it. "thank you for bringing me here, kazuha. i know it's an important place to you."

so you'd known what he was feeling the whole time? he'd always said you understood him like no one else did, but apparently even he didn't know to what extent. he feels so comforted in your presence, like he doesn't have to say anything to convey his feelings. you just know, and vice versa.

he's never felt more grateful to have someone like you by his side. maybe, even though tomo is long gone, his friend had done him one final favor and pushed you in his direction. because to be in love with a person as amazing as you, kazuha believes there's got to be some other force of nature at work.

a/n: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ANON </3 I MEANT TO RELEASE IT EARLIER I SWEAR. there goes kit again with her wack post schedule. BUT 2.1 IS OUT!! AND SCARAMOUCHE APPEARED!! FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!! all jokes aside IM SO HAPPY HE FINALLY SHOWED UP. LIKE....GENUINELY WHEN I WAS PLAYING THE UPDATE AND I SAW HIM I WAS VERY VERY SATISFIED 10/10 !! i also learned the way i portray him might be completely ooc...which is fine its fine im fine- but i think i will be posting more scara content (whos surprised) just to celebrate plus i also wanted to get this one out before another day goes by where i forget, thank u for reading !! <33

[leamy-world]

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 9 & 10)

It’s been a while since i’ve last been on tumblr, but i got invested in this drama every week & the fandom’s analyses to not talk about it sometime! (Last time i was hooked, it was with Beyond Evil and i watched it by the time the finale already aired so i didn’t suffer from the weekly wait!)

So here i am, this is mainly self-indulgent with essay-long interpretations of some scenes in a totally random order, but i’d love to interact with whoever reads this if they want to react!

I’m sorry for the potential awkward phrasings, english is not my first language!

- The recap was nicely done and tied everything together, it made me realize so many things happened since the beginning! The repetition didn’t make me skip it, the narration was dynamic & fun.

- The ‘power display’ & threat Yohan showed to Soohyun (by lashing out at Juk Chang and strangling him, as proxy for Soohyun, in front of her while staring at her) were something …! She answered in the same fashion, passing by him saying she will ‘arrest Juk Chang’. I wonder how their next encounters will unfold.

- Many people already pointed this out, but Soohyun’s decision to leave Elijah, a minor, alone in her car (with its doors open, daring to tell her to stay there when she has no other choice anyway) + stop the gang alone and unannounced off duty was irresponsible. Anyways, i wonder if she will interact again with Elijah because they were adorable, i would miss it!

- The conversation between Soohyun & Gaon at his apartment (ep. 10) was interesting on both parts: 

It sounded casual, but Soohyun wanted to see where he stood in the Kang family and make sure he wasn’t in Yohan’s plans (i hope she didn’t seriously mean the ‘weird’ comment about Elijah, it’d be sad since Elijah enjoyed her company!).

Gaon was anxious professor Min told her about their last conversation (i think she’ll talk to him in the next eps). He also indirectly defended the Kangs by associating himself with them (« I’m pretty sure i’m just as weird ») and voiced his concern about Yohan, speaking more to himself than following the conversation at hand. 

When Soohyun changed the subject with the ‘i’m jealous’ bit, maybe it was to brighten the mood with a light-hearted comment, hoping Gaon would follow. And by the look of her pause right after, it seemed she was also expecting GO’s ‘positive’ reaction to her jealousy, giving in to the kind of teasing/flirt they have in their friendship. But deep down, it was also to voice her true unease about Gaon’s involvement with Yohan she had since the beginning and ep. 8. 

It’s obvious to us she meant she was jealous of Yohan. And GO could’ve understood it this way too, since she confessed to him multiple times and her feelings must be known to him (i think he takes it as a ‘joke’ given how many times she confessed and each time when he was crying, so maybe he thought, very reasonably, it was to cheer him up? I also guess he’s too absorbed by his current worries about the Kangs and her potential suspicion, to notice her attempts). 

But instead of that, he’s not in the same line of thoughts at all and picks up on the « rich », musing on what makes one’s existence rich, thinking Soohyun was envying Yohan’s position and life and proving her he’s indeed in a whole different world, empathizing with Yohan. 

She then looked like her face fell, until her eyes lit up again when he was about to admit she was precious to him along with his family.

By the way, this scene picks up right where we were left off in ep. 8, when Gaon tends to his plants:

« - Are you back for good? - Not really. They need some looking after. - You should come back, not drop by. This is where you live. - Someone there needs some taking care of too. - Take care of your own self, please. - What about me? I’m living a shamelessly comfortable life. Soohyun. - Yes? - What are you thinking about? - Nothing. By the way, Gaon … » (i wonder what she was going to say!)

Lost in thoughts, Gaon’s mixed emotions when he said Yohan was not rich (« he’s not rich. If you get to know him, Kang Yohan is really poor. ») were very well depicted by Jinyoung’s acting: the soft voice and the ghost of a smile that convey understanding and endearment, leaning on his counter in a relaxed stance, but also at the same time the stare lost in the space, maybe to all the memories tied to the Kangs and Yohan, and the tension in his left lip corner by the end of his sentence which betray his sadness and empathy with Yohan’s life. After this, when he became aware of Soohyun’s gaze, it’s like his bubble popped. He looked surprised with his eyes widening, and was fidgeting a little, then changed the subject to himself.

And « I have you, Soohyun » sounded truly grateful but also sad and conflicted, GO lets his worries show when she’s gone, maybe wondering if they would be bound to be against each other one day as he continues to side with Yohan, menacing to jeopardize their friendship to the point of no return. In these kinds of stories you expect these kinds of twists, but i grew fond of the cast send help

- I loved how Yohan’s confession to GO about his brother was filmed: the camera faced head-on his pain, slipping unbeknownst to him through the façade he always showed to protect himself. But this time, despite his (late) attempts to dismiss these feelings both for him and Gaon to regain composure (the hand gestures to hide his tears, pretending to be tough with the  « there’s no such things as innocent people », drinking away his sorrow with a bitter laugh that rings hollow), all this façade fades out in front of Gaon literally by being blurred out in the shot, as if he clearly sees his pain through (his silhouette appearing clear-cut between Yohan’s gestures). I know it’s a pretty classic shot but it fit well with this scene. He clenches his jaw in the next shot, moved by Yohan opening up. 

- The dinner scene was really moving …! Especially when you put the colder tones the kitchen had when we first saw Yohan have dinner by himself next to this scene, full of light in contrast! I wonder when the OST playing will be released, it was so beautiful and reminded me of My Mister’s OST (especially Rainbow!). I look forward to the lyrics, because most of the time the OST gives more layers & depth to the story and the characters! (please don’t let it be about Yohan’s budding feeling of a true ‘home’ ;;) I didn’t realize it upon my first watch, but Gaon really took the cutlery hostage, it cracked me up!

- The parallels in this show will be the end of me: Yohan went from the « i’m so sick of this place » (ep. 5) to asking K to drive him « home » with a delighted smile. 

- I liked the parallel of Yohan’s reaction to GO/Sun-Ah sitting in his office chair, impeding on his space (he reminds SA to stay out of it, the first time politely, the second time almost grimacing, his jaw clenched: « Just because you’re the head of the OSC doesn’t mean you can barge in like this (…) So please stop barging in like this. », while he says nothing to GO)

- At the beginning of ep. 10, we have Yohan saying he doesn’t like «  hanging out with people » & by the end of it, Soohyun saying « My childhood’s best friend is hanging out with a rich guy ».

- These two episodes gave more insight and nuance into Sun-Ah’s character, which was very nice ; and also Cha Kyung-Hee’s comeback (and her last confrontation with Sun-Ah!!!!)

- The people following Juk Chang also targeted sexual minorities according to the subs i had, i wonder if it will be addressed again sometime in the drama. 

- I loved Elijah’s « hacking » technique scene, i felt proud too! I always look forward to her scenes (and Kkomi’s too haha)! And her reaching out Gaon’s shoulder for the first time ;;

- The ‘humans lose their minds when they think they’ve lost what they have’ ……… repeated twice by YH ………… It will hit hard and all those lines will come right back at us viewers, but i’m not prepared haha! And also for the ‘if you want revenge, don’t hesitate’, i hope it doesn’t foreshadow a future revenge Gaon will execute without hesitation aaaaaa

Also, what lawyer Ko said about himself in ep. 8 may apply to Yohan’s case by the end, will he atone for what he did someday? (« I’m no longer a lawyer. I’m just a criminal. When all this comes to an end, I’ll pay for what i did. »)

- I really loved Yohan’s efforts to take into consideration both Elijah’s (he refrained himself from acting rashly like the last time she went out and listened to her) and Gaon’s feelings (stopping him from endangering himself recklessly, not forcing him onto the revenge path lest he’d regret it afterwards, and helping him to face the truth rationally). 

- « She’s hungry for affection. No matter how much you hate the world and the people in it, you can never live alone. You always need someone to rely on. As long as you’re a human being. » Many people commented on it, Gaon must speak from his own experience and empathizes with both Elijah and Yohan’s situation. These two episodes showed how Gaon cares for the Kangs more openly, and i live for it! 

- Give me that domestic scene where Gaon plays cards with YH, the nanny and Elijah! And also more K and lawyer Ko scenes!

- Jinjoo’s and Gaon’s intervention in the trial were gold! And Satie’s Gnossiennes rearrangement playing in the background during Juk Chang’s speech, it’s the cherry on the cake haha

- By the way, there was also an arrangement of Rachmaninoff’s piano concerto no. 2 during the first charity event Yohan went with Jinjoo in the earlier episodes, it was also beautiful!

- GO’s Awkward Smile. I have no words, it is now forever imprinted on my mind.

Have a nice week and take care!

[theresnosafeharbor4myships]

Overheard - Chapter 1 (also on 9L)

Daryl moved thru the quiet house, grateful everyone was out and busy for once. The silence would afford him the peace to nap and hopefully get rid of the headache drumming behind his eyes. Climbing the stairs to get to his bed seemed too big a feat at the moment, so he shuffled down the hall to the family room at the back of the house, the only space on the first floor with a closing door, bathroom being the exception. Fitted with old games, books, and other detritus for the kids, it also held a large couch he could lose several hours on. He pulled the curtains together, then eased down onto the semi-soft cushions, propping his head up slightly with one of the throw pillows and slinging an arm across his eyes to help block the light. Eyes closed, he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself from the busyness of the day. It wasn't yet evening, and there was plenty work to be done around Alexandria. But Jerry had sent him packing after seeing him squinting and wrangling a headache confession out of him. He'd be pissed about it later, but right now the quiet enveloped him like cotton. He’d just drifted off when a door slammed outside, startling him awake, and the voices of his friends alerted him to the open window above his head. He sighed in consternation.

“Hershel’s happy to be here. He’s glad there are other kids for him to play with,” Maggie’s southern drawl stated from next door, the sound drifting in like a radio, disembodied but relatively clear.

“Gracie’s excited to have another friend,” Aaron’s voice responded.

They spoke briefly about the kids before they turned serious. "And how’re they doin'?" Maggie's asked.

"It's been rough at times. A lot's happened. He's struggled with his faith in...just about everything. Especially since she was with--"

"Yeah," Maggie cut in sympathetically. Gabriel and Rosita, Daryl realized. Maggie checking in on everyone. He wasn't meaning to listen, but neither was he about to get up and close the window; instead, he tried tuning them out. Which didn’t work so well. "How's she been...losing him?" Her voice drifted in and out, some words lost to the air. Siddiq, he thought wistfully. He'd been a good one. Hated seeing him go. And poor Rosita. Aaron's voice turned softer, indistinguishable for a moment. Then, "he's the one that's kept her with us. Having the kid...been helpful. ....taken a while to...feel like herself again." "And they're in that house?" Gabe, Rosita, and Coco were Aaron's other neighbors, and he could see Maggie nodding in the direction of their house in his mind’s eye.

"Yeah, settled in...hard days. But closer than ever." Something about his response piqued Daryl’s interest, and though he didn’t uncover his eyes, he listened intently. "Still not together though?" Maggie's tone turned light, amused, and it took a moment for the question to sink beyond the pounding of his brain. Gabe and Rosita were already together. What the hell was she talking about? He swore he heard Aaron chuckle. "No, not yet. And about 5 or 6 years too late, if you ask me."

"Even longer. Shoulda seen 'em 8 or 9 years ago. ...circlin' around....waitin'. ...times I thought Carol was about to make a move." "Been thinking the same thing about Daryl lately. Living there, making a home for the kids...I hope it happens for them," Aaron confided. "...been through so much. ...deserve some happiness." "Yeah....and how are the kids adjusting?" "They're doing well, considering. Come on, I'll show you the new playground." Though he knew they had no clue he could hear them, Daryl froze as their voices came closer and then faded away as they walked between the two houses. After several seconds, he released the breath he'd inadvertently been holding and tried to understand what he'd just heard. With how adamantly his head throbbed, he wondered briefly if he'd hallucinated the whole thing. But no…he was lucid, if confused and stunned. They'd been discussing him and Carol this entire time? Maggie and Aaron thought he and Carol should... That Carol had wanted to be with him years ago? He'd hoped, oh yes, he'd hoped...beyond reason and all believability that she'd someday look at him with more than friendship in her gaze. He could never get past the thought of how she could see him as worthy of her though. What did they see that he didn't? His aching mind drifted through their encounters over the past few years. Her return to Alexandria after the loss of Henry. The reckless abandon she had with her own life as he followed her, desperate to help. The soft, aching way she'd admitted she didn't know how to heal the night he implored her to see that they had a future. "Please don't hate me." The broken "yeah?" she'd uttered when he'd promised her she still had him to count on. The way she eased into his embrace, all soft and curvy and just right for his arms. What he wouldn't give for them to be right... But Maggie and Aaron didn't know those things, and he'd never given an indication to any of them that he wanted anything more than friendship and familial ties with Carol. How could they possibly know? Ah hell, who was he kidding? He'd loved her long before he ever even knew the meaning of the feelings he harbored for her. But he'd never stepped beyond the bounds of friendship. Had Carol really wanted to "make a move" a decade ago? She couldn't have. Carol did what she wanted, got what she wanted. She'd wanted to disappear into Alexandria and a pretend life, and she'd done that with Tobin. Wanted a family and a fairy tale, and she'd settled with Ezekiel. Wanted her freedom, and she'd left the fantasy behind. Wanted to run and so she ran. No, if Carol wanted him—and for how long they'd speculated about—she’d have done something about it by now. You haven't, a taunting voice chimed. But he didn't know anything about dating or love or relationships. All he had was some time spent in a cabin with someone who hadn't been Carol because she'd been off playing queen to someone who gave her the title. What did he know about showing a woman he loved her? What right did he have thinking he deserved someone like her? No, Maggie and Aaron were mistaken. Carol didn't want him any more than she wanted to be trapped within these walls. But that thought didn't stop their conversation from wreaking havoc with his aching head, and when Carol and the kids came home an hour and a half later, his head still thrumming tightly, he hadn't slept a wink.

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

Warnings: 18+, explicit, references to past non-con/rape (not between main pairing, not explicit), daddy kink, Peter in lingerie, references to gaslighting and abusive relationship (not between main pairing, not explicit). The warnings are for the story as whole, not for this chapter specifically. I’ll add more in the future, if needed.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

“He can’t do this!” Ned slammed his hands down on the counter between them, as Peter took a swig of the cheap wine he bought with the last ten bucks he had in his wallet. “He isn’t even in all of the videos, at least half of the money is rightfully yours!” He kept going, stating the obvious, but Peter just sighed and shrugged.

“I’m not disagreeing with you, Ned, I’m just relaying what he told me: he’s not gonna give me anything. It’s his channel, his equipment, the money from the subscriptions goes straight to his bank account, so it’s his. It’s all his. His words, by the way.” He took another swig of wine straight from the bottle. He had been drinking from a small glass Ned offered him – he wasn’t a pirate – but it soon proved to be too small to quench his pain, so. Yeah. Pirate style it was.

“You have to sue his ass, Peter, he can’t get away with this,” MJ intervened. She was sitting next to him on a stool by the kitchen counter, so he turned to look at her with a deep frown on his face.

“Did you not hear me saying I just spent my last ten dollars on this bottle of wine? I have, like, twenty four cents left in my pocket. And that’s it. I can’t hire a lawyer, I can’t even feed myself right now!” He raised his voice a little, but quickly got himself back under control and apologized. His friends were not to blame for his predicament – they did try to warn him Beck was bad news, he didn’t want to listen. “And you know what? I don’t give a fuck. He can choke on all of it if he wants, the videos, the money, the subscribers, I don’t fucking care.” It wasn’t true, of course. Well, partially. He really didn’t care about the money, videos, subscribers, etc, but he cared about Beck. He would have given everything else up if it meant he could keep him.

Which was stupid of him, of course. But he certainly wasn’t winning any awards for being a great decision maker.

“It’s still not fair. I mean, I knew that guy was sleazy, but you’d think he’d have the decency to at least give you something, you know? You’ve been together for three years, he’s been making money off your ass for almost as long. How could he just fucking kick you out and not give you a single dime? After all the money you’ve made for him? It’s fucking sick, that guy is fucking psychopath if you ask me.” MJ’s face was turning red from anger, which made Peter smile a little. It felt good to know he was loved by someone, even if he hadn’t been the best friend to them for the past few years.

The thought made him close his eyes for a second, guilt creeping over him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d called either of them – maybe on Ned’s birthday, almost two months earlier. They used to be inseparable, the three of them; the three musketeers, as corny and lame as it sounded. For years, those two were the only family he knew, but when Beck came into his life, everything changed.

Stupid fucking Beck.

Peter used to think of him as his own personal super-hero – it did feel like he had come to save him, after all. They met when he was seventeen, he had been living in foster homes for almost seven years by then, after Ben and May passed away. At the time, he was with his fifth family, and there were so many children in that house, so many of them came and went, that their foster parents didn’t really keep tabs most of the time. It was easy to sneak out, and Peter did, often.

He met Beck on one of his night walks – and their first meeting should have raised all kinds of red flags, but for whatever reason, it didn’t. Beck slowed the car next to him, rolled down the window and asked how much Peter charged for a blowjob. Just like that. The teen gasped at first, but when he looked around for a moment, he realized he wasn’t in the most family friendly neighborhood. There were, in fact, some men and women around him who definitely looked like they were there for that, but Peter was in sweats, for crying out loud, and he definitely looked his age – or even younger than that.

His wide eyes must have given him away, because the older man quickly apologized and showed him a charming, white smile. He made up some excuse about mistaking him for someone else and the boy said it was ok. He was going to keep walking when Beck asked what his name was. Then how old he was. Then where he was going, where he ha come from.

Looking back, Peter knew he should have run. He should have left, because there was no excuse for an adult man like him to keep asking a teenager so many questions right after he basically offered him money to suck his dick. But that Peter, that 17-year-old boy, was still a bit too naive. To have such a handsome man showing interest in him – his kind, blue eyes smiling at him, warm and safe – was inebriating. He actually looked at him. And cared. At least Peter thought he did at the time. And he was so lonely back then, even that little bit of attention meant the world to him.

He should have run, but he stayed. Should have run, but got in his car. Should have run, but ended up giving him a clumsy hand job in the backseat, after just a few sweet promises whispered in his eager ears. Beck was so good with words, he could have convinced Peter to jump off a bridge that very same night if he wanted.  

They exchanged phone numbers. For weeks, they texted and called each other, until they could  meet again. By then, he was smitten. At twenty, he could see how innocent he had been, how trusting and open he was with a complete stranger. A 32 year-old stranger, at that. Ned and MJ, his only friends from school, warned him that it wasn’t okay. That it was weird for a man his age to be interested in a teenage boy, but Peter said they were wrong. He said he wasn’t just a regular kid, he had been through stuff they could only imagine. He was mature and experienced, and Beck could see that, which was why he liked him.

Looking back now, it was embarrassing how wrong he was. Beck was an illusionist. Sad thing was everyone could see the trapdoor but him.

“So what are you gonna do now?” MJ asked, fishing another bottle of wine from under the counter and placing it in front of Peter, who almost cried in gratitude.

“You mean besides crying myself to sleep for the next few months?” He wasn’t really joking. The only reason he wasn’t crying right at that moment was because he had spent almost three hours bawling his eyes out on a park bench close to their – well, Beck’s – apartment, hoping against hope that Beck would reconsider and come after him. When it became clear it wasn’t going to happen, he headed to the only place he knew he could find refuge – even if he didn’t deserve it.

“Yeah, besides that, obviously.” She opened the wine bottle and before he could take it and drink straight from it, she poured three glasses and Peter sighed, defeated.

“I have no idea.” He answered, only slightly surprised that he actually meant it. He had absolutely no clue what to do. For three years, he hadn’t had to worry about money – or anything, really. Beck took care of everything and he just assumed it would always be like that. That he would always have him by his side to take care of him.

He rubbed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Are you going to keep doing porn?” Ned asked, a worried expression on his face. Peter remembered he hated the idea when Beck first suggested it, as soon as he turned eighteen.

People are gonna lose it, Beck said. A pretty little twink and a hot daddy? We’re going to be a hit.

And they were. Their first videos blew up quickly, people were either disgusted by the thought of them together – because of the age gap – or completely enthralled. The haters helped them get more views, and Peter soon learned that there really was no such thing as bad publicity. Beck promoted their videos on twitter, where they accumulated thousands of followers. Peter remembered that, back then, many people sent him worried messages, saying he was too young, that Beck was a predator, that he was taking advantage of him.

In retrospect, they might have been right, after all.

He wasn’t too sure about doing porn when they first started, he knew once they released the first video, there was no going back, there was no way they could ever take it down – the internet was forever. Nothing was ever truly deleted. He wanted to be a dad someday, what if his children ever saw those videos in the future? What would have Ben and May thought? What about his parents?

None of this matters, honey, Beck assured him. These kids don’t even exist yet, don’t worry about them. And your relatives, well… They’re gone, sweetie. You can’t really disappoint them anymore.

So Peter did it. And he was terrified at first, he felt so exposed, people all over the world could see him in his most vulnerable moments, all of him, in every position Beck managed to put him in, in any outfit he thought the public might like, in any setting he thought might bring in more viewers, more subscribers, more money.

Soon, just the two of them weren’t enough. Their viewers wanted to see Peter with other people – other daddies –  and Beck saw another opportunity to increase his profit. Peter was strongly against the idea at first, it felt too much like prostitution, which was where he wanted to draw the line, but, again, Beck sweet-talked him into it.

It’s nothing like prostitution, honey, he said. I’ll be there the whole time, I’ll be the one filming and directing, I’ll be the one paying the other actors, all the profits are ours. How is that anything like prostitution? It’s just like what we’ve been doing so far.

So not only there were a bunch of videos of him and Beck out there in the world, there were also lots of videos of him with other men, some of whom were old enough to be his actual dad. There was even one video in particular that he was specially embarrassed by – and sadly enough, that was the most viewed one so far. It was fucking humiliating.

At some point, Peter should have realized it became all about money for Beck – and maybe it had been like that all along, he just hadn’t noticed before. Over the last few months of their relationship, they never had sex just for fun, just for the hell of it. There were always cameras, and lights, and roles to play. Beck never said he loved him anymore. Barely touched him. Barely kissed him. He should have seen it coming. He had been too blind, or just… Didn’t want to see what was happening right before his eyes. He ignored all the signs. The voice in the back of his head telling him something was off.

But anyway, porn. Could he still do it?

“I don’t know,” he answered, finally. He looked at his best friends and sighed with a shrug. “To be honest, it was never something I enjoyed, and I don’t know if I could ever do it without him somehow involved, you know? I did it with him because I felt… Safe? I don’t want to get involved in the actual porn industry, I’ve heard some pretty fucked up stories.” Peter had heard horror stories about other boys in the industry, and even though his own story was no fairy tale, there was nothing so bad that it couldn’t get worse.

“How about Just4Fans?” MJ asked and both Peter and Ned turned to look at her in shock. “What? You guys were pretty popular, right? You won awards and shit, so there must be at least a few hundred people out there who would pay money to see some dirty pictures of you, maybe some short videos. That way you won’t need to go into professional porn and you wouldn’t need a partner, but you could still make decent money. And fast.”

Well, it actually made sense. It wasn’t like there weren’t hundreds of videos of him being fucked raw all over the internet, anyway. A few dirty pictures couldn’t hurt. And besides, it didn’t need to be forever, just until he figured something out.

“That’s… actually not a bad idea,” he conceded, drinking the last of the wine in his glass. MJ sympathetically filled it up again and he mumbled his thanks.

“What do you think he will do now?” Ned asked carefully, and Peter shrugged for what felt like the hundredth time. There was so much he didn’t know.

“Probably keep shooting videos with his new boy-toy.” He managed to say it with a steady voice, but his eyes burned. He still couldn’t believe how… replaceable Beck thought he was.

When he noticed them interacting online a few months earlier, before the boy was even eighteen, Peter was alarmed, but when he confronted the older man about it, he said he was crazy and seeing things, picking up fights for no reason. He always twisted things in a way that, somehow, Peter was the one apologizing to him in the end.

Months later, just weeks after the kid turned eighteen, there he was – homeless, penniless and lost – meanwhile the other guy was probably getting comfortable in his bed. If Peter didn’t hate the kid, he would pity him. In a few years, he would probably meet the same fate.

“Do you think he would take the videos down if you asked?” Ned asked, and Peter scoffed.

“Yeah, right, those videos will still make him a lot of money monthly, he’d never delete them.” And Peter would have to live with the fact that he would always be just one google search away from complete humiliation and exposure. If he ever tried to get a serious job, those videos would stand in the way. If he ever managed to meet somebody decent and good, those videos would be a testament to what sort of person he was in the past. Fuck, some of them were really fucked up.

“So… Should we create fake twitter accounts to trash talk his short dick or what?” MJ was already grabbing her phone and Peter laughed halfheartedly, shaking his head.

“He’s not worth it. Karma will take care of him, I’m sure.” He drank the last of his wine and whimpered sadly. “So… Can I crash with you guys for a few days? I promise I’m not gonna overstay my welcome! I’ll be out of your hair as soon as the Just4Fans thing works out.”

“Of course you can, nerd, stay as long as you need. We’ve got your back, c’mon.” MJ got up from her stool and gestured for him to do the same. “Do you mind taking the couch?” She asked as she headed to her bedroom in the tiny apartment.

“Not at all,” he answered with a sigh of relief, then went to grab his suitcase by the door. Three years together and that was all he had to show for it. A single suitcase with a few changes of clothes, after being kicked out of the house on a cold February night. His eyes burned but he took a deep breath, blinking them rapidly to avoid the tears.  

“Then make yourself at home. Our casa es su casa.” MJ placed a pillow on the couch and handed him a thick, warm blanket.

“We’ll figure something out, okay?” Ned clasped him on the shoulder with a gentle smile on his face.

“Okay.” He sighed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his crushed chest.

He waited for his friends to go into their respective rooms, waited to hear their quiet snores, before he allowed the tears to run freely down his face, replaying everything Beck said to him when he kicked him out.

Before he knew it, he was a sobbing a little, so he buried his face in the pillow to muffle the noise, as he tried to convince himself that things were going to be okay, that he was going to be okay. But at that moment, that was hard to believe.