#insane for a fella who sure does a lot of thursday posting

[wavernot4love]

hello wanted 2 talk about a bunch of fun things from Thursday first show of War All The Time tour 2nite at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo (this will include setlist spoilers)

(starting with a random little video of title track, the rest of it is in the keep reading thingy)

- TURNPIKE DIVIDES FOR THE LAST SONG??? they let her see the light of day!!! i am probably the only person who has heard her at 2/3 of the thursday sets they have seen /lh

- geoff took the piss out of victory records for not paying bands while talking about how i'll be you & jbny are mirrors of each other then played them back to back (also described jbny as their heaviest song.... correct!!!)

- crowd was GREAT. great pits, surfing vibes, actually hell, vibes were just great all around.

- make sure you get there early so you can catch both many eyes & rival schools (steve (thursday) actually played for rival schools today which was cool). i thoroughly enjoyed both sets, and tonight honestly made me a fan of many eyes as a project. i wasn't sure what to expect receptionwise from a buffalo crowd [insert every time i die lore] but everyone showed up for keith (buckley, former singer of etid)/them. i also thought he/they did great, and he seemed genuinely humbled. also saw him around after the show, bro was loading out merch so i didn't wanna bother him, but yeah, dude seemed chill. really enjoyed the songs as well, i'll be spinning them and staying tuned for future releases for sure.

- between that set, everyone just feeling like a true community all night, & a cameo from a local scene legend (if you know hardcore, the singer of terror/buried alive was watching sidestage all show, keith shouted him out hahaha), let's just say i felt like how i'd imagine patriotic americans feel when they hear the national anthem, but the western new yorker edition.

- between rupture and rapture & division st. were probably my favorite non big singles. so great to hear watt in full dude and the crowd was very engaged the whole time

- one thing that really sucks is geoff explained as they came out that pretty much all their instruments randomly got stolen right before they left for tour, so they were a little panicky and stuff but basically, nothing was gonna stop them from having a good time in buffalo (paraphrased). apparently when they were sorting out the tour routing a while back someone told them they should start in toronto but they were like, nah dude, we want to start in buffalo. back to my western ny patriotism analogy, i see. anyways, now that's what i call resilience. they put on a great performamce with such great energy, you can tell this is a band that truly loves doing this whole thing. support the guys extra hard this run.

- as the opening bit of understanding started i looked back at the carnage going on in the giant pit that was open at the moment and had to just. smile at That being a moment people were crowdkilling each other to /lh

- i brought my (digital) point & shoot and shot from the crowd! very stoked on those as i was quite close all show, will update with those once i edit em! will probably also be posting a review kinda thing on my site/ziney thing once i get that back up and published

- one final thing that haunts me is the wonder of what geoff was talking about here in this instagram story post from earlier. i even stuck around after the show (which ended around 10:30) in case... i don't know, thursday were to fly out of some sort of confetti cannon at 11 pm sharp, i have no idea, dude. someday i will ask geoff about Minds Blown - 11.00pm

anyway, every time i've seen thursday this past year of having the joy of really knowing their music (i'd heard of them of course just through being in the scene for years, but had just never listened then) thursdayband has come 2 mean more and more to me and i truly hope they never stop playing together as long as it makes them happy <3

[blogagog-blog1]

Thursday July 6, 2017

I haven’t written in 5 years. And I know why. 

But I’m not going to be getting into it nearly as much as I thought I would be in this post. 

That’s not because I’m pussying out (fair guess, though), because I’m embarrassed about it (which I am) or because I’m attempting to block it out (although that is my usual M.O.).

No, it’s because that very same last post, from April 2012, laid out exactly the fears and shortcomings I had planned to cop to tonight. Laid it out - and ended with me inferring I was about to do better. Like the fella once said, ain’t that a kick in the head?

There’s that old saying: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”1 Well, doing some brief historical forensics, it would appear I’m the real-word Mad Hatter, The Joker, and Patrick Bateman rolled into one.2  

Here’s the thing though - there’s two types of people that adhere to this (completely inaccurate) definition of insanity: those who keep doing the same thing out of a stubborn belief that they’re in the right and “this time will be different,” and those that have no fucking idea they’re hamster-wheeling their way through life right up until their little hamster heart gives out and they drop to the wood shavings. Guess which one I’ve been?

I should probably modify that. I (and undoubtedly a veritable legion of other schmucks) are often not consciously aware of the repeating patterns in our lives which become the molds for the shit-sandwiches that are our respective existences. Sometimes it’s a lack of self-awareness, sometimes it’s denial - usually, though, it’s a wee bit from column A, a smidgen from column B. But being totally oblivious and not aware on some level there’s a Groundhog Day vibe going on - pretty improbable.3 

And here’s where the running punt in the gonads lies for this particular schmuck. That aforementioned post - you guessed it - explicitly talks about having made the promising move of finally, categorically owning up to things. K, I don’t care who you are and how enlightened your new-age, zen-as-fudge batty is - nobody likes delving into their fatal flaws and worst shortcomings. So if you’re wired to do pretty much the opposite, it’s a pretty big deal when you finally do. Yet, up until tonight, I had no recollection of writing this stuff. I mean...damn, Yosemite Sam. 

Well, I’m a little tired of the Groundhog Day motif. Love the movie, hate the personal experience. So here’s what’s up. First, I re-read the shit out of that old stuff. It may be uncomfortable to read, and mortifying to admit the lost opportunity for change - but all that is a lot less painful/disastrous than heading down the same rocky road yet another time. These tires, these shocks - and if we can fuck off with the car metaphors for a second, this soul - are getting pretty shredded. 

Second, I’m really, actually, non-full-of-shit-ly going to start writing again. It’s a lot harder to forget the life-changing, infinitely important discoveries you’ve made when you’re re-visiting the place they live daily. With the Zimbabwean Weblog God Balooba as my witness, it’s on both like Donkey Kong and Asian Porn on a Monday morn.4 Time to stop being one of those kids my boy Scrubious Pip talks about “that love being writers more than they love writing.”

The third one is a big one. And that’s sharing this all with you dicks. I’ve taken all (read: the few) posts I made on my Blogspot (look it up, young bucks; I believe it was created in the Neolithic Period) blog starting in 200-effing-8 and posted them below, titled by date. I even lifted the emo-ass original blog title and artwork. Ah, but fer why? Well, it’s not hubris, and it sure-as-shootin’ ain’t nostalgia. Context? Indirectly, maybe.5 Nah homie - this is about accountability. 

It’s out there now. There’s no hiding from the content, which in my very first post I dotishly pointed out I was unlikely to share with anyone else (a pledge that, unlike most I make, I stuck to). And, maybe more importantly, no hiding from the pledge to keep writing. So scroll right down to the bottom and get your chronological-order, bottom-to-top read on. 

Look, I promise this tumblr won’t all be about me, how and when I’ve dropped the ball, and how depression and its effects figure into my (and millions of other people’s) life. 

But it has to start that way. So I can get a good grip on that ball again.

Oh, one more thing. That whole “if you don’t use it, you lose it” business - totally true. I’m not the writer I used to be: it doesn’t come quite as easily, nor does the choice of subject matter. But I’m already better at it than I was at the beginning of this spiel. And I’ll be better still tomorrow - when, by the way, I already know what I’ll be talking your ears (eyes) off about. Lookit that.

So....

See you tomorrow. 

The attribution of which, incidentally, to Albert Einstein is total bullshit. Apparently, it’ from a goddamn AA pamphlet. Still makes a good soundbite, but feels way more 12 step-y now, don’t it?

Except, you know. Without all the tea parties and homicides.

And infinitely less hilarious. How would Bill Murray have had us rolling in the aisles without having been aware he was in an infinite loop and blowing people’s minds with his apparent psychic abilities? Further proof: self-awareness ftw.

Let’s just accept the latter is a thing so we can move on.

F’rinstance, you might run across the first known mention of the African Weblog deity Balooba. Whose name, undoubtedly purely through coincidence and in no way related to the author’s nationality, sounds a lot like the Baluba tribe referenced in a super fucked-up calypso about cannibalism and eating white women raw. Which, in turn, was probably inspired by a real-life fucked-up military incident in the Congo that devolved into fanciful tale of cannibalism from which the Irish pejorative term ‘Balooba’ stemmed. See, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry - and we’ll also learn.    

[jeremyhechtsblog-blog]

I Decided

It’s been an insane last couple of weeks.

I met one of my idols Big Sean and helped work on his interview. I went live on LA’s biggest morning radio show and started trending on Twitter and I learned a great lesson as always.

First of all, I want to apologize for missing my first week of blogs. We made it to 20 weeks straight. But I promise this one will make up for the week off.

Saturday

It’s 3:40 pm and we’re sitting in the America’s Got Talent audition room. I say we because John has been waiting in line with me since 11:00 am. Find you a roommate and friend like John and hold on to him. Especially if they love Chicken and Waffles.

Two Thursday’s Ago

I’m at Power 106 editing the audio from The Cruz Show that will go up on Soundcloud later today. I overhear a producer walk into the studio room and say

“Big Sean is coming into the studio on Monday. His new album will be out so you guys can talk about that.”

Before I head home for the day I go up to Jeff (producer of the morning show) and Cruz and say

“I’ll get you notes for Big Sean by tomorrow. Also if you guys need any help with on-air stuff, I’m always willing to help.”

My professor Jeff told me that when he first got on-air it was because he was eager and told the producer that he wanted to help out. I asked him what I should do about my situation because I want to be on air also, and he told me to just tell them. So I took his advice.

All night I stay up making interview questions for Big Sean. I have been listening to him since I was in grade 11, freshly in love and heavily chasing the rap dream. He has been one of my biggest inspirations ever since.

I print out two copies, put them in my bag and try to get to bed before 12:00 am. It’s pretty wild knowing that I will get 4 hours of sleep tonight.

Two Friday’s Ago

I get into an Uber as usual at 5:15 am and my driver tells me how cool it is that I work at the radio station. I told him I’ll be on that radio soon so he should keep listening.

I hand the paper with all of my Big Sean questions to Cruz and Jeff.

“These are great Jeremy. You killed it. You gonna be here for the interview on Monday?”

“If I can come in for it?”

“Of course.”

“See you Monday. Thanks for the opportunity guys. Love”

Last Sunday

I wake up early before the Super Bowl, which is at 3:30 pm here. It still feels weird to have a Super Bowl party during the day, but everyone here thinks it would be weird to watch it at night so I guess that is just a difference in environment. I finish writing a full page of Big Sean questions after listening to his new album “I Decided” on repeat (which I really like by the way). I send it over to Cruz and Jeff and then enjoy an incredible Super Bowl at my friend Taylor’s in Glendale. I’m still not over that comeback, but I’m also still not surprised.

Email from Cruz: “Thanks Jeremy. These are great!”

Last Monday

It’s 10:30 am. As I walk in, the other interns are gluing questions onto cue cards. The questions are the ones that I wrote!!  My questions are going to be asked to Big Sean!!!!! So I feel like I’m basically second-hand interviewing Big Sean… Right?? Or no?

Our boss asks us to fill out a sheet of paper that has the title “Intern Weekend Recap” on it. I fill it out with big paragraphs and a lot of detail. Everyone else fills it out with one or two word answers. They are all laughing at me.

“Jeremy you’re such an overachiever”

“There is no such thing as an overachiever, it just means you underestimate my ability!”

I learned that from one of Jeff’s classes where he does a weekly lesson from the late, great basketball coach and man, John Wooden.

“You’ve been waiting to use that line haven’t you? * Laughs *

I smile.

Big Sean is in the building at Power 106 for a live interview and VIP party in front of a crowd of some of his biggest fans. I see Big Sean from across the room.

“Hey What’s up Sean!?”

“Whattup bro?”

We shake hands and then keep it moving.

After the interview I tell him how much he has inspired me and thank him for everything.

“Aw man thanks for the support dawg!!! I appreciate you.”

We take a picture and I am about to leave. Jeff says,

“Jeremy, can you stay for a few minutes? I’d love your opinion on something.”

“Of course.”

I am almost late for my class at this point so I kind of have to hurry. I need to buy magazines for a project we are working on, so I walk over to CVS in Burbank, which is a lot farther of a walk than I thought it would be. I post an insta and I’m listening to “So Much More” off of Big Sean’s Finally Famous album. He raps “I used to ride to school listening to Kanye, Pharrell, Wayne.” I make my caption, “I used to ride to school listening to Kanye, Mac Miller, Big Sean.” My phone dies (I know dad, but I forgot my charger at home again…) so I set up my laptop and charge it in CVS while I wait for my Uber. I get a call from Jeff,

“Hey Jeremy, can I ask you a couple of questions about your weekend recap story? Do you mind if we talk about this on-air on Thursday?”

“That would be great. I’ll prepare it for then!”

Last Thursday

My Uber driver, like every other Uber driver who picks me up in the morning switches the radio station to Power 106 once he sees where we’re going. He asks me about my job and I tell him to keep listening because I will be live on air today!

I get to work and say hi to everyone. Jeff preps me for the on-air segment with Cruz and then they hand me headphones and I sit down in front of the mic. I am a mixture of excited and nervous but with a lot more excitement.

“We’re here live with our intern Jeremy. Jeremy you’ve got a story for us right?”

“Thanks for having me all the way from Canada! Yes I do.”

“Tell us about what happened”

I relay a story that was a mixture of multiple occasions when I have spoken with girls for sometimes hours and then they will slip into the convo that they have a boyfriend… which I’m sure a lot of you fellas have experienced. It sucks. And callers call in to give their advice to me.

Krystal Bee (the other morning show host) says,

“Jeremy, you’re trending right now!”

We go back on air. Cruz starts by saying,

“Jeremy, do you think your name is trending because of you?”

“I cannot confirm nor deny, but ladies feel free to DM me your advice”

“Shouldn’t you be getting me coffee or something as our intern! * laughs *”

“I’ve made it too far for that now, I’m Hollywood! There’s no coming back down to earth.”

I end the segment with a good one liner about how another guy took a bigger L than me and everyone in the room laughs.

Wow. I was just live on air on the biggest LA radio morning show. I was trending on Twitter (whether or not all of the tweets were about me) and I just executed in my biggest opportunity yet. Is this real life??? I used to watch this show on YouTube in my bedroom in Winnipeg.

I got to really contribute to an interview with one of my favorite artists of all-time and I got to meet him too. I really do feel like I’m living the dream. But as much as it seems surreal, it does seem like exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ve envisioned this too many times for me to say that I don’t feel like I belong. And at this moment I Decided that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Lessons:

Recognize that YOU are good enough. That you belong right where you are.

Being humble is always important. I always try to be grateful and appreciative of where I am. I texted Cruz right after that moment when I got home and thanked him for the opportunity.

“That was always a dream of mine. I appreciate the opportunity a lot.”

“Dude, you did a great job. Thank you!”

But at the same time, you have to make the conscious decision that you are right where you are for a reason. You are good enough to be the best at what you do, you have earned and worked hard for all of the opportunities that you’ve received, and that when your moment came, YOU did your thing and executed. No one else can do that for you. People can give you hand-outs, but if you don’t perform, then it means nothing. So I learned over these past couple weeks, that I not only belong in the position that I’m in, but that I deserve it. That I can stand with my peers and feel like I am right where I’m meant to be.

Never Stop Asking Questions or Learning

Knowing you belong and deserve success does not mean that you should stop growing or wanting to learn. I still don’t know sh*t. I am so young and have so much to learn. And I always need to sit down and remember that. Just because you have done something cool, doesn’t mean it’s over and that you’re an all-knowing powerful being. You will never be. The day you think that is the day you lose. We can all continue to learn. And I hope to be 70 and still learning something new every day. I continue to ask for advice from my mentors and questions about becoming successful and great. Keep pushing forward, always.

There is No Such Thing as an Overachiever

This is a lesson I learned from Jeff who learned it from John Wooden. People can doubt you all they want and tell you that you’re doing too much, but they are really the ones who are just underestimating your ability to achieve. If you achieved it, then you were cabable of achieving it. I thanked Jeff (Power) for the opportunity to be on-air and he said, “man, some of these interns wrote one or two word answers. You were the only one who gave me some good answers. Of course I want to talk about them.

“They were laughing at me before!”

“Let them laugh bro. You’re the one who made it on-air.”

I hope you have a great week and thank you for sticking with me and for being patient for this blog. I really hope I can continue to provide you with value and inspire you to accomplish your dreams.

Blessings and love to you.

-       Jeremy