#I just realised it would be SOOO easy for me to be the change I needed to see.

[forcedhesitation]

tonight. I complete the balding gay boyfriend collection. I will right the wrong to which I was made to bear witness to. I've three of four men romanced already. all that remains is kissing that sad little wizard...and moonrise towers is just on the horizon.

[foxmulderautism]

beau is such a trailblazer of an oc cause he's the first dallonwrites protagonist to have a good relationship with his family

[salemlunaa]

∘˚౨ৎ no need for desperation ౨ৎ∘˚

no matter what you’re going through, the state of pure consciousness is yours.

∘˚౨ৎ ACT I | why desperation isn’t needed…

“I need to “enter” RIGHT NOW, my circumstances have gotten 100x worse”

“you don’t understand i need help, an instant method, something”

“time is running out i need to induce pure consciousness and get my dream life”

You need to stop with that, take a second now and breathe. 1: Time doesn’t exist, you can get all the time back you’ve supposedly “wasted” if you properly apply what you know. 2: You don’t need anything, kill that thought of being the one in need, because you aren’t. 3: circumstances aren’t real, they are nothing. and everything will be worth it when realise you already have everything.

∘˚౨ৎ METHOD | the only one you need.

Whether you’re sooo desperate for pure consciousness or not, whether your life depends on it, this is the only method you need: (at anytime of the day, mind you)

eyes closed

breathe, relax, let go of everything around you

you don’t have to be in a certain position and you don’t have to be a statue, both dumb pieces of misinformation, scratch that itch, lay where you’re comfortable

you are “I Am”, whether in pure consciousness or not, you can remind yourself of that by affirming “I AM” if you believe it helps you,

or your mind can trail off and think about ANYTHING, whether that be your new life or one of your favourite songs, take that mind off the 3d

before you know it, you’ve induce pure consciousness

this is all you need, not some grandiose, 50-step intricate method. Just relax and focus on all but your 3d THATS IT BABE

you don’t need to be desperate for something so easy

there’s is no “it doesn’t work for me”, you’re not exempt from the law of shifting awareness, you’re not some special person who “just can’t” make it work. Inducing the “I AM” state is in our nature.

౨ৎ˚∘ACT II | get out of the cycle, you aren’t yearning anymore.

This desperation won’t get you anywhere. And it puts you in a vicious cycle. You’re desperate to change your life → you see the void state as the only ticket out of here → you put all your faith and adoration into the state of pure consciousness instead of you → you put it on a pedestal → you believe pure consciousness is the only thing that can pull you out of your misery= therefore, you are relying on external factors for something you must do.

And if you look at the base law for loa: think as if you have it. Would you have feelings of desperation if you’re a void master, if you supposedly have your dream life?

So leave the circumstances behind, like now this time, really don’t say you’re going to and go back to complaining in 2 days

“i have school soon and if i don’t induce-” no.

“i NEED to induce before-” shhh. you can do it right now, you know that.

“my circumstances are getting so bad and-” what circumstances?

“no you don’t understand how life is getting-” i thought you had your dream life?

The days of desperation are no more. No more will you beg for something that is so easy, something that is owed to you. No more will “fail”, failure doesn’t exist for you. Just believe it.

There’s nothing to be desperate about because circumstances aren’t real and you can have your desire whenever.

Would a baker be desperate to get ahold of the recipe for a cake he already knows how to make?

🎄🎅 it’s your reality, don’t allow external factors to make you desperate for something so easy.

also merry christmas lovies (and happy holidays regardless for those who don’t celebrate) hope you guys are digging the theme 😏

[winterrrnight]

hey angel, please could you write a fic with soft rafe x reader where they have been best friends for years and are finally in a relationship after admitting feelings for eachother and they have cute happy moments where they remember they’re not just friends theyre finally in a relationship now?

Tysm x

oh my goodness, this took me so so long than it should've and I'm so sorry about that! I love and adore this idea so much, but for some reason I never felt satisfied with how I was writing it so there were too many restarts. But we finally have the final product! It's inspired by your request, I don't think it's exactly what you requested, but the main idea was kept in mind throughout. I hope you like this and is up to your expectations 💞

memories

PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader

SUMMARY: a little collection of some of your favorite moments with your best friend, lover, partner in crime all rolled in one: rafe cameron.

WARNINGS: small mentions of alcohol, but mostly fluff and two lovers being mean to each other because it's their love language 🫶🏻🤭

EDITH SPEAKS: thank you to my bestie @runningfrom2am who helped me out with this fic! she told me all her favourite memories with her own boyfriend and that resulted in this very cute fic so thank you sooo much raye 🥹🥹

There is a little KC Undercover reference in the fic, which is like, probably one of the most iconic dialogues of Ms. KC herself and I had this beautiful opportunity to use it so I just couldn't pass it up 🤭

I hope you all like this!! Please ignore any little grammatical/spelling errors. And please like and reblog if you like this 🪂

navigation || join my taglist || requests

It's so easy for you to say how your life has changed for the better when you and Rafe finally became official. He has been your best friend since you both were little, and now to see you both expand your relationship which you had formed since such a small age, always makes you feel like the happiest person on this planet.

It's no lie that it took you some time to finally get to the dating stage. After realising your feelings for each other, you both needed a lot of pushing from your friends to finally confess.

"He looks at you as if you're his whole world! Why aren't you telling him?" Your friends would groan, as they would catch you with your mouth almost agape as he walks past you and gives you a smile.

"No, I don't think he does," you would dismiss your friends' thoughts and before they could say anything else, you would be rushing to your class.

Now, fast forward to three years later, you both are in university and live in a shared apartment. You took your own time to reach to this stage of your life with each other, but you're so grateful where you are now, because there's no one else you'd rather do it with.

"When we'll grow old, we'll be roomies forever!" Rafe would tell you in his little squeaky voice when he wasn't even seven years old. You would giggle at him and eagerly nod. Who knew those little dreams will come true, and you both will be a lot more than just friends?

Sharing an apartment with Rafe is everything you've always imagined it would be, each night feels like the sleepover you had when you were little. Except this time, you don't have this fear of laughing a little too loud that a parent is on their way to scold you for being up for so late. You can laugh and talk as loud as you want to, eat whatever your heart desires and talk about any topic you feel like.

You both have your moments where you tend to forget you're dating and aren't just two best friends who share an apartment solely because they thought it would be fun. One time, you had one of your oldest albums in your camera roll opened, and you were laughing at all the pictures.

"Dude look at this one!" You laughed, finding a hidden gem. Rafe feigned shock as he looked at you.

"You did not just call me dude." He said, deadpanned. You pop a crisp in your mouth from the packet you're both sharing.

"What's wrong with that?" You asked shrugging.

"I'm your boyfriend, that's rude,"

"Whatever bro," you giggled, averting your attention to your phone.

"That's even worse!" He whined.

"OH MY GOD!" You yelled as you laughed out loud, the next picture on your phone seeming pretty unbelievable. It's from a Halloween night years ago, and you both totally forgot you dressed up very poorly as Barbie and Ken. But the thing is, you were Ken and he was Barbie.

You both were dressed in a hot pink from head to toe, and your make up is loud and proud. "You need to be Barbie again," you laughed, as you teased him by nudging his arm with your elbow.

"Definitely not," he chuckled, shaking his head.

It definitely doesn't stop here. It was your aunt's birthday and she had a big party, inviting a lot of your family. It was towards the start of your relationship, and you definitely weren't used to calling this idiot your boyfriend.

"And this is Rafe! He's my uh, my boyfriend! Yes, boyfriend, oh my god!" You said out loud, your aunt laughing at your reaction.

He only shook his head at you and flicked your ear. Your reflexes acted up instantly and your hands went to his hair to completely mess them up.

One thing about you both is that have been extremely competitive since you were little. You've always wanted to beat him in whatever game you're playing, bowling, basketball, or even just Uno. And when one wins, they make sure to remind the other about it every minute.

"Oh my god I totally crushed you!" You yelled, attracting attention from people around you as you jump up and down, looking at the final score of your bowling match with Rafe.

"I won, you lost, I won, you lost," you sang as you danced in front of him, and he just stood there, looking at you.

"Oh shut up," He groaned, walking away as you're there dancing to yourself. You laughed and ran to catch up to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and he instantly picked you up, you now on his back with your legs around his waist.

"I'm sorry bub, but I did crush you big time," you mumbled kn his ear. He groaned again, and then threatened to drop you on the ground. You let out a squeal and tighten your grip on him, which in turn made him laugh.

But you both are a whole another level of competitiveness when you are a team. There's not a single game invented which you both cannot win as a team, and the adrenaline rush you both get after you win results in some of the most crazy victory couple dances.

You found yourself at a party, and the game of beer pong is at an edge as people are watching you and him compete against another couple. It was the tiebreaker point, and if Rafe made the shot, you both would win.

"You can do this yeah?" You said, your hands holding his face as you looked him straight in the eye. "Just take a deep breathe, and shoot." He nodded at you and you handed him a ping pong ball.

He took his position and took a deep breathe in, clutching onto the ball in his hand. He shot the ball, and you watched from the side expectantly, your hands clutched together. It felt as if everything was in slow motion as the ball made its way to the other end of the table. You heard a soft plop as it landed in a cup of beer, and everyone around you started to cheer out loud.

You ran up to Rafe with the biggest grin on your face and he picked you up and spun you around. One of your friends came up to hand you the cup of beer. Rafe drank half of it, and then gave you the beer left to drink.

Everyone came up to you to congratulate you and hype you up even more, getting an occasional pat on your back. You looked at the couple who you both defeated, and Rafe made his way to them with you on his heels.

"Ding!" He said out loud. "That's the sound of the elevator, because you're not on our level!" He teased them and everyone around you gasped and cheered out loud, as you hollered around. The couple just gave you both a dirty look and leave, and you just looked at Rafe and gave him a high five.

"That'll tell 'em not to challenge us anymore," he said, wrapping his arm around your waist and kissing your head.

But what was the most concerning yet your favorite moment between you two was when he had this urge to be your knight in shining armor, but he also wanted to be the reason you needed help.

You were planning to take a little boat ride with all your friends, and as you all were standing on the dock, Rafe gave you a little nudge and dropped you in the water.

You screamed out loud as you went into the water, but quickly resurfacing as you swam up. You wiped your face with your hands as you pushed all your hair back, and when your eyes regained their focus, you saw everyone on the dock looking at you with utter shock.

You were gasping as you felt the cold water on your skin, when Rafe quickly removed his t shirt and came closer to the edge of the dock.

"Don't worry darling, I'm coming to save you!" He yelled with his chest wide as if he's a hero. You watched him jump into the water and swim up to you, and just as he reached you, you punch him in his arm, hard.

"What the fuck is this?!" You yelled, and Rafe came closer to you and wrapped his arms around you.

"What do you think this is? I'm here to save you," He said with a proud smile on his face.

"You asshole, you dropped me in the water," you said as he started to lead you towards the dock.

"What are you saying? You tripped off the edge and I'm here to save you. Did you hit your head on a rock or something?" He shook his head. You scoffed as he helped you get onto the dock. "I'm your knight babe, I'll always save you whenever you need to be rescued."

"What a relief." You said, rolling your eyes.

What he said that day is totally true though, all these times you've wanted help from someone, he's been there for you without fail. He picks you up everytime you fall down, even literally (but after he finishes laughing at you).

He makes you the happiest you have ever been. You'll always be so grateful for him.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury

(If you want to be added, check out the 'join my taglist' post on top! + send in requests if you have any, but please read the 'requests' post first!)

[jahtrashh]

I saw your take on Zuko and like I agree so much. this fandom either idolises him or hates him and I always found that sooo weird. same goes with characters like Jet who are somehow treated like perfectly functioning adults by the fandom and held accountable of their actions as if they were grown men. and that’s so freaking weird. the point of Zuko’s redemption arc is that his arc isn’t linear, he makes mistakes, learns from it, makes up for it. as for Jet, although not a big fan of the way the writers handled his death, he’s literally being seen as an unredeemable monster, as if worse that characters like OZAI OR ZHAO by many fans and… just… how ?? why ?? they are both 16 ?? like yeah, they did so much bad stuff, they did really messed up stuff but they are also quite literally products of their environment and a freaking 100 years war. how is Zuko, fed with propaganda, on a ship since he’s 13, with a freaking general as his only paternal figure at that time, surrounded by men twice his age who are also either soldiers or at least army related, and still 16 at the time, suppose to be a “nice guy” archetype that does nothing wrong. like please be for real one second. and don’t get me started on Jet. whole village burned to the ground, orphan, had to raise so many kids, probably grew up in extreme poverty. ofc he’s messed up. ofc he’s violent, blinded by rage. but again, 16 !!! HE’S 16 !! it kills how people don’t realise that teenagers (especially teenage boys) are anything but mature, collected and emotionally rational. like bfr.

but in the atla fandom ig saying this would make me a zuko/jet apologist. whatever that means. as an adult i just see a bunch of messed up kids in the middle of the war, and that’s basically it. at best i feel bad for them, at worst i pity them.

Say it louder for the people in the back. I don’t know how to dumb it down enough for people to wrap their damn head around how these are in fact, also, teenagers involved in war. The world is in shambles during war, right and wrong are easily blurred during those times, and it takes a very special person to be able to differentiate between the sides without getting too caught up in what they believe is right or wrong.

Zuko could’ve stayed a racist, imperialist, dipshit. But by the end of the show, he turns into just a simple dipshit who accepted his life changing 180 with open arms. Yes he said some insensitive shit to aang about his beliefs and mocked his anti-violent views even when he joined them in season 3, but AGAIN, not only was he still learning how to be a decent human being, he was also blinded by his own hatred of his father, mixed with the very much pro-violent nature of the fire nation, PLUS the lack of education on Aang’s culture and philosophy which was AGAIN, taught around PRO-PA-GAN-DA the FN created. All of which, takes time to unlearn. On top of figuring himself and who he was, which is what most teenagers, more often than not will have a whole crisis about ALONE. I honestly don’t know how people expect a redemption arc to go, we’ve all had to learn how to be better about things, and the progress isn’t going to be liner nor will it always be easy. That is human nature. That is LIFE.

And on Jet’s case, why do people think it’s such a terrible thing to make some characters who were victims of war crimes, to be angry, to lust for revenge against the perpetrators, or be irrational and violent. THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO. The FN took the last bit of Jet’s life that he barely even had and stripped all of that completely away from him like the savages that they are. Why is it a terrible thing to be angry at people who didn’t think twice about the families, the sense of community that his village had? I agree that Jet was going too far when he was trying to take it out on innocent people, but can you really blame him? He didn’t have an adult to help him out on the importance of emotional maturity and how to be angry at the ones who actually harmed you like Zuko did, and even if he did, teenagers won’t be emotionally matured TRULY until they develop into adults. He had to be the mock adult for the kids younger than him, he didn’t have time to decode himself and better his actions because he was too focused on protecting the freedom fighters and himself against the FN’s abuses.

People don’t realize that this is not babying them, or being so called “apologists” this is called understanding why these two are the way that they are. Why are they like this? And it’s so much to take in and talk about at once that you’d need an entire college level essay to completely break down and comprehend how deep war can affect not just adults, but teenagers and children. Those two groups don’t have true moral compasses, so the environment and circumstances can really impact and easily mold their minds to fit the standards in said situation in order to survive it. This is called self-preservation. A more than common trauma response.

I mean seriously, I heard someone say they can understand Zuko hate but not Iroh hate, when he has in fact, done much worse than Zuko has ever done in those 3 years at sea. I love Iroh, but he’s an adult, why are we choosing adults over traumatized and war-fed teenagers who mainly comply in that shit to seek approval from their actually psychotic, genocidal, narcissistic, and abusive father that would dispose of them if they didn’t fit his standards? Why are we quicker to blame the teenagedvictim of the FN’s attacks and cruelty, than the actual people, adults, who conducted the attacks?

Are we truly regressing as a fandom? The show wouldn’t give them their traumatic experiences and talk about their abusers if they wanted the viewer to antagonize the victims. Goes to show that the loudest voices screaming “irredeemable monster” and “they want people to feel sorry for him” never truly know who these characters are and how they operate, they need everything spoon fed to them which is very unfortunate. The real irredeemable monsters are right there in their face and they choose to look somewhere else.

It’s so obvious how people in this fandom pick and choose who to feel sympathy for, when they all needed it.

[sweetzscore]

Please may I hear more about your ocs?

OF COURRSEE i love talking

I assume you mean the OCs from my pfp, sooo its ✨tangent time✨

(After typing out all this I’ve realised it’s quite a lot, so I hope you like reading lmao)

So the one on the left in my pfp (spiral eye, sweater) is named Bubble (my friend named them), they use any pronouns (although I generally use they/them) and their nickname is Bubs :3

The one on the right (demon, poncho) is Devlin (name taken from the Devlin house from Dead Boy Detectives) they also use any pronouns and their nickname is Dev

These r some of my OG sketches of them (their designs are pretty much exactly the same still, i don’t plan on changing them)

I made them both easy to draw on purpose since I just wanted something to do while I was bored but I’ve ended up becoming super attached to them lmaoo

I decided pretty early on that Bubble and Devlin would be in a romantic relationship because idk, i’m just a sap for romance I guess

Bubs and Dev both use rotary phones from the 1960’s; mostly it’s just a gag, there’s no real reason for this other than I thought it’d be funny.

I tend to stylise Devlin’s dialogue in all caps just to sort of show their loud personality but they actually aren’t yelling most of the time.

They both have pets! Bubble has a saint bernard called Benoit Blanc (Benny) and Devlin has three iguanas named Tim, Martin and Sasha (I think you know where i got their names)

I haven’t planned out every aspect of their characters but I do know a few things such as hobbies (Bubs likes baking and Dev likes to read. They both like arts and crafts) and their families (Bubs comes from a kinda big family, they have several cousins and a little brother, meanwhile Dev no longer speaks to their family.)

THEY ALSOOOO have some friends!

I wanted to keep the Nicknames thing, so i introduce Vixen ‘Vixie’ and Melina ‘Mel’!

Vixie is sort of a slime-person? Idk but it makes sense to me. She’s also transfem and very shy! We love her tho <3

Mel is NOT a zombie although I realise she looks like one, she’s kinda just green. She’s more sarcastic and tired than the other characters but she loves her friends.

Vixie and Mel aren’t as developed as Bubs and Dev but I still love them :3

I hope to make these guys into a comic someday!! I love making up silly guys

If you’re interested in some music I’m constantly adding to this playlist for them, it is mostly romance but idk we stay silly

ANYWAYYY sorry abt the wall of text but I just lovelovelove talking abt them hehe

[starlightshadowsworld]

I'm gonna end up bashing Kirigiri a lot in this one.

I do actually like her I swear but this bit... Nope. So... You've been warned.

You know what really pisses me off about Makoto's trial situation.

It's not even the execution.

Like I get it, you know?

Someone had to die.

And the two most suspicious individuals especially in the trial were Makoto and Kirigiri.

And Makoto was very much protecting Kirigiri and thus dodging the questions.

Which isn't exactly the best strategy, even without Kirigiri throwing him under the bus.

It was rigged by Monokuma.

We're honestly just lucky everyone voted the same person.

I don't like it.

I think it's scummy but so are the rest of the trials.

So I can deal with that.

I can even understand Kirigiri's rather blunt point that she gets Makoto was protecting her.

But that she couldn't bring herself to do the same.

I get it.

Its easy to say you would die for a person you care about but being in that situation is hard.

You can never truly know what you'll do.

And Kirigiri has a lot of self preservation.

So it makes sense to her character she wouldn't.

And she told it to him straight.

Which for Kirigiri, someone who is notorious for hiding things from people.

It's a big step for her to honestly admit her feelings like that.

I respect that.

Does it hurt?

Absolutely but it's the truth, and she owes it to Makoto to give him the truth.

To tell him that yes she did do what she did.

She can't change what happened but she almost lost him, the only person she has left.

And in doing so she realises how important he is to her.

That Kirigiri snuck down here with the hope he had survived, that she would never have forgiven herself if she had caused his death.

Kirigiri was left in a world without Makoto in it and it wasn't a world she wanted to live in.

And so, she's going to protect him too.

Because they are a team, she can't do this without him and so they are going to end this nightmare.

Together.

Except... None of this happens.

Instead of a possible heart touching moment between two survivors.

Even an apology.

Kirigiri says "and not to make excuses but" and tells Makoto that it was very important that she survived.

She's found out her talent, she's the Ultimate Detective.

And so her survival is important as she's the only one to defeat the mastermind.

... And that's when I flipped the table.

This.

This is the bit that just pisses me off.

Because it's not "I could have gotten you killed, my hands were tied in a death game and I made the difficult choice that will haunt me forever."

No.

It comes across as I have to live because my talent is more important than yours.

Thus your survival is not as important as mine.

Which is so incredibly fucked up.

It's basically the Danganronpa equivalent of eugenics.

Your talent is objectively lesser than my talent so you deserve to die so I can live.

I hate this.

I hate this sooo much.

I wasn't even playing I was watching a play through and I wanted to rage quit.

How fucking dare you.

You didn't even know what your talent was for the entire game.

But now you do, somehow now your the most valuable person here?

Like Makoto hadn't been destroying himself. Trying to keep everyone alive.

Basically carrying all the trials on his back.

And she spends the rest of the time talking about her talent and such.

And just wow how did you make Makoto almost dying about you?

That's impressive.

Also, you know who else does something like this.

Someone who finds out the main character has a lesser/no talent and than proceeds to treat them like shit for it?

Nagito.

You know, Nagito the guy everyone whether you love him or hate em can all agree is cuckoo in the coconuts?

That Nagito.

Nagito spends the whole game friendly to Hajime but also extremely hot and cold with him.

Only to learn that Hajime is a reserve course student, thus without talent.

And proceeds to turn a 180 and berate and insult him for it.

And minus that last part, very similiar to Kirigiri.

Even down to the fact both are hiding huge secrets from everyone.

The only real difference is Nagito doesn't see his talent as impressive, but in the face of no talent Hajime?

It's makes him better than him.

It means that Hajime is beneath him.

But when Nagito does it it's fucked and when Kirigiri does it it's cool I guess.

But you know what the icing on the cake is?

Kirigiri is someone who generally keeps a stoic face.

She's unflappable, she's always serious and cool headed.

Gives me the ice queen with a heart of gold vibes.

But in this scene, Kirigiri is smiling.

She's telling Makoto how her life means more than his, and she's smiling.

Now I actually like Kirigiri.

Shocking I know.

I do, I like her and I know she's in Danganronpa 3 and I can't wait to see her in it.

But this?

Fuck this.

Fuck her.

Fuck all of this.

I know the Kirigiri stans are gonna rip me a new one like they do everytime I talk about Makoto's trial.

But I don't care.

And Makoto's a better person than me cos I'd have just sat in the corner of the trial room.

Like oh I thought you were so talented and this was your whole reason for being here.

And you're the only person who can beat the mastermind.

I'm gonna go get actual pain killers and a bed that doesn't come with murderers.

Okay, baiiiii.

You know for someone who's Jin Kirigiri's apparently neglected daughter...

... He sure passed on his fucked up ideology to her.

[clarabowmp3]

Could you please predict for me when we will be done with the meathead?

stoppp 💀💀 honestly I didn’t expect them to have lasted till now but also I fully expected that she’d end up marrying joe so what do I/anyone rlly know lmao 🤡🤡

Fully explained below but tl;dr - it’s either until the travis team (i legit forgot the name i know the colour is red or smthhhh) keeps winning the Super Bowl/maintains a relatively good reputation OR until Taylor gets bored of him and looks for another shiny toy to make a complete fool of herself over (so like by this time next year) OR they get married and ride off into the sunset towards some happily ever after.

Howeverrr just for funsies: the way I see it is by working backwards, starting with if I see them getting married, and honestly…based on ttpd, leaning towards yes. When they will get married I have no inkling and I don’t even feel like speculating cuz of all those gross pregnancy/marriage rumours going around 🤢 I think they’ll get married cuz:

their careers are such that they’re both lifting the other up when they show up for games/concerts, there is no conflict of interest (ie no competition) cuz of the vastly different fields they’re in. Also, he was more established than joe at the start of their r/ship which makes for a very rosy picturesque love story image which at least some part of Taylor desires (based on her interviews, the fearless/speak now eras) but she’s also become quite jaded (as per ttpd) so maybe she thinks this is the closest she’s going to get to it

i also think she’s in no rush to leave a r/ship this comfortable after her last 2 emotionally complex ones. Not saying this is good or bad of her; I do understand why she would want to take it easy now (and possibly forever) but given how little they seem to have in common, I don’t think she can find this r/ship as emotionally fulfilling as she would want with a life partner, so I don’t see them sticking it out forever. Ofc I could be wrong and maybe she’s changed, but based on her track record travis does not seem the type of person Taylor Swift would want to spend the rest of her life with (girlie was cringing so hard in the viva las vegas clip)

Possible triggers for the breakup and why:

She finds someone else to obsess over and for some weird reason…she suddenly realises what a temper travis has? And how aggressive he is?? Cue the breakup songs/album, swifties dig up That Clip and go omggg how did we not see this he was abusing mother 😢😢, rinse and repeat until she (hopefully) finds some self-worth NOT tied to a man

travis’ team starts losing the Super Bowl/not doing all that well in other competitions. I think the main reason swiftie are kind of sweeping his messed up tweets and behaviour under the rug is cuz they won. But what abt if/when they stop winning? All that’s left is a hot-tempered football player who isn’t even an “all-star” (am I using that term correctly?) and she’s not going to like being associated with that/have that tarnish her brand. I find it so absurdly hilarious but she would rather be seen as problematic (re: M*tty) than unsuccessful, so she’d prob drop him if this happened

very unlikely, but maybe she breaks up with him and enjoys being single for a while? No reason for thinking this tho

ngl as long as this reply is, im kind of apathetic cuz she’s changed so much recently that im becoming less and less invested in her. I’m not even rlly looking forward to rep tv despite it being such a formative album for me cuz that version/image of taylor has been sooo tarnished by recent events yk? So idc what she does, mostly cuz if I had her as an actual friend I’d cut her out of my life SO fast

again, the usual disclaimers apply, idk her/them or anything abt their relationship, I am literally just a girl sipping her ginger ale and watching this train wreck of whatever taylor swiftTM has become 🍹🍹

[i-believe-in-melinda-may]

I'm going to post this story on AO3 in about 24 hours so i thought i'd post chapter 1 here tonight.

Chapter 1

AN: Yes, I am writing another AOS/Marvel story. As is pretty standard for me I have worked out a timeline that works for me and based on in episode/movie references and what makes sense based on that rather than details that have been said outside text (such as Iron Man 3 taking place in 2013 rather than 2012, I have gone with 2012). I have again aged some characters down, changed some backstories, and change some relationships that will be explained throughout the story, it may take a few chapters for a everything to be clear.

It is important to know that this isn’t a story for anyone that liked Steve going back to live with Peggy in endgame. (to me it just felt like a way to make Peggy into just Steve’s love interested when she was sooo much more, which this story is going to explore, in ways you may not expect)

(Line break)

September 1995

For Five years Clint Barton has been an Agent of SHIELD ever since he was nineteen years old and was recruited by Agents Phil Coulson and Melinda May. Through his time at SHIELD Clint has found not only a job he loves but a place he feels like he belongs; and now there is a chance he’s going to lose it all.

Over Two weeks ago, he was sent on a mission by Director Nick Fury to take out a Russian operative, but rather than killing her Clint has helped her prove that she wants to defect and brough her back to the United States. As he paces back and forth Clint knows he has done the right thing, but he is terrified that no one else is going to believe him, which is why, despite everything else going, on he has reached out to the person he believes is going to be on his side, the person he believes will be able to help others see the potential he sees.

“This better be good,” Melinda May, looking half asleep not surprising when it’s three am, says, as she walks towards where Clint is pacing in a corridor in a basement level of the Triskelion.

“Mels, I’m sorry,” Clint says, hurrying towards her. “I know you’re on maternity leave for another two weeks, and I didn’t want to call, but I need your help… I know she can be an asset, and she wants to start over, she really does, but Fury is so pissed, I don’t know how to get him to see that,” Clint starts to explain, and Melinda can tell how desperate he is, how much he believes what he is saying, and how afraid he is that no one is going to be on their side.

“Clint, slow down,” Melinda requests, trying to make sense of what he is saying, something which isn’t as easy as it normally would be due to Melinda’s lack of sleep. “Now, who’s she? What do you want me to do?” Melinda requests, her voice even but clear that she wants straight answers, and Clint better give them to her.  

“Natasha Romanoff,” Clint answers. “She’s a Russian operative, Fury sent me to take her out… but, there was something about her… I just couldn’t do it,” Clint admits. “Mels, she wants to join SHIELD, and she’s already turned against the Russians,” Clint explains, as he knows that what Natasha did to prove that is huge. “She’s in there,” Clint says, pointing to a room that Melinda knows to be an interrogation room. “And Fury’s upstairs deciding what to do with her,” Clint explains to Melinda and as he does everything starts to fall into place for her.

“And you want me to talk to her, see if I agree with you and then talk to Fury,” Melinda realises.

“Fury trusts your judgement, if you say she deserves a chance he’ll listen,” Clint says, clearly believing that, though Melinda knows it’s not actually as simple as Clint clearly believes it to be.

“I’ll talk to her,” Melinda tells Clint. “But there’s no guarantee I’ll agree with you,” Melinda tells Clint, wanting to make that clear.

“You will,” Clint says, and Melinda knows how much he believes that.

“Okay,” Melinda says, taking her access card, which has a higher access level than Clint’s, out of her pocket and walking over to the room, letting herself in.

Walking into the interview room Melinda sees a redhaired woman who looks to be in her early twenties, but unknown to Melinda is actually older, sitting in the chair. While she is attempting to give a careless persona off Melinda knows that she is scared, that she wants to belong, and that she is determined to prove that she can be an Agent of SHIELD.

“My name’s Melinda May,” Melinda introduced,         knowing that even with her advantages she has to be careful how she handles this, especially considering she knows Natasha is sizing her up. “Clint asked me to talk to you,” Melinda says as she pulls out a chair and sits down across from her. “He believes you could be an asset, that you could have a place within SHIELD, that you deserve a chance,” Melinda explains and as she does, she knows that Natasha is shocked that Clint has faith in her. “What do you think about that?” Melinda asks, wanting to hear what she has to say.

“I think you must be an expert interrogator to be sent in here,” Natasha says, showing what Melinda already knew which is that Natasha is guarded, that she doesn’t want to give anything away, at least not until she has more of a chance to assess the situation.  

“I wasn’t sent, Clint asked me, I’m here as a favour to him,” Melinda explains, deciding that honesty is best, as she knows that Natasha is assessing her just as much as she is doing the same to her. “Natasha, I am going to put my cards on the table, may I call you Natasha?” Melinda asks, realising that she should have made sure of that.

“I guess,” Natasha responds, and Melinda knows that she is curious about her.

“Clint asked me here because he wants you both to have an ally,” Melinda explains. “I’ve known Clint a few years, I trust his judgement, and I know that he has faith in you, which is exactly why he’s gone out on a limb,” Melinda reveals, choosing her words carefully. “I will go to bat for you, something which does carry weight around here, but before I do that, I need to know that you want this, that you’re not playing Clint,” Melinda explains, realising that while Natasha is surprised by her honesty, she also appreciates it. “So, Natasha Romanoff, why are you here?” Melinda asks simply, as that’s the answer she needs to hear.

“Because I don’t want to be what I was made to be anymore,” Natasha answers, doing so without really thinking about her answer. “I… I’m good at what I do May, the best even, but that’s not who I want to be anymore,” Natasha admits, being more open than she ever is because something tells her that this is her only chance. “I am here because I want to make a change, I want to do something good for once, be a part of something, be more than I have been,” Natasha explains.

“Okay,” Melinda says, being able to tell that there is more than what Natasha is saying, but that she is not ready to share, but because of everything else she knows Natasha is feeling Melinda doesn’t need to know that, not yet. “I’ll be back soon,” Melinda says, not giving anything away as she gets up and heads out of the room, knowing that Natasha is confused by her behaviour.

As soon as Melinda walks out of the room she can tell how worried Clint is even though he has faith in Natasha.

“You weren’t in there long, is that good? Bad?” Clint asks concerned, finding Melinda impossible to read, just like always.

“It means I’ve talked to Natasha, now I’m going to talk to Fury,” Melinda says, before walking away from him without another word, leaving Clint to feel very confused as well as concerned.

(Line break)

After leaving the basement level where Natasha and Clint are Melinda heads straight up to the higher level of the Triskelion where Fury’s office is. As it’s the middle of the night and there is no current disaster going on Melinda doesn’t see another person until she walks into Fury’s office where she finds Fury, who unknown to Melinda has just gotten off a video call.

“Barton call you?” Fury asks, seeing Melinda, who nods.

“He wanted my help, my assessment,” Melinda admits, as she casually sits down in one of the armchairs across from Fury.

“Of course,” Fury says, not at all surprised by that. “I just finished getting that from your godmother,” Fury reveals, and Melinda is pretty sure she knows what was said based on what she can tell.

“I’m not surprised,” Melinda admits, knowing exactly which of her two godmothers he is referring too without Fury needing to say.

“You’re never surprised,” Fury reminds Melinda.  

“True… I’m not entirely sure I can be,” Melinda admits. “But I’m not here to talk about that,” Melinda admits, knowing that it’s probably not the best place to talk about that particular thing.

“Of course not. You talked to her?” Fury asks, and Melinda nods. “And? What do you think?”

“I think, she deserves a chance,” Melinda admits. “She wants to be different; she wants to belong… I think she can be trusted, and with time, maybe, just maybe if we’re very lucky, she’ll trust us,” Melinda tells Fury, and for a moment he looks like he is considering both what she said and the conversation he has already had about the matter.

“When you’re back she’s your responsibility, they both are,” Fury says, not asking Melinda to return from leave early as that wouldn’t be fair, isn’t something he is willing to do to her, and Melinda knows he is saying that because he wants someone, he trusts to oversee this.  

“Okay, but until I am back don’t shut her away, give her some freedoms, otherwise by the time I get back it will be too late,” Melinda tells Fury.

“That could backfire,” Fury says, showing that he doesn’t have as much trust as Melinda, something which they both already knew.   

“It could… but I don’t think it will,” Melinda admits.

“It’s your ass if it does,” Fury says, standing up, wanting to make that clear.  

“I figured,” Melinda admits, standing up too. “But that doesn’t change my recommendation,” Melinda tells Fury.

“Didn’t expect it to,” Fury says, honestly, he would be disappointed if it did as it would mean Melinda doesn’t actually believe in what she is doing, before heading out of the office, Melinda right behind him.

(Line break)

Not long after they left Fury’s office Melinda and Fury walk into the corridor where Clint is still pacing back and forth, but when he Melinda and Fury he stops pacing and walks over to them.  

“Director?” Clint asks, and Melinda can tell how nervous he is.

“Barton… with us,” Fury says, and he heads straight to the room where Natahsa is and lets the three of them in.

As the trio walk into the room Melinda can tell that Natahsa is nervous about what is going to happen, but Melinda also knows that it is something that she would never admit.

“Natasha Romanoff, welcome to SHIELD,” Fury says to her, and it is clear to Melinda that both Clint and Natahsa are surprised by that.

“Sir?” Natasha responds, hiding her surprise as she thought it would be a lot more complicated.

“You’ll be on probation for a year, and when she is back from leave in two weeks Agent May will be responsible for you,” Fury says, purposely not mentioning the leave Melinda is on as he knows how few people know that, for very good reasons. “Until then you’ll undergo skill assessments here before going on any mission,” Fury explains. “You’ll be confined to the Triskelion for now, but your movements inside won’t be restricted any more than Agent Barton’s are,” Fury tells Natasha. “Questions?” Fury asks.

“No Sir,” Natasha responds, still trying to digest everything, as this was so much more than she was expecting.

“Good, this won’t be the last time we talk,” Fury says before heading out of the room, wanting to give Natasha, and even Clint, even a chance to digest everything, and Melinda knows just how amazed Natasha is as she wasn’t expecting that.

“Thank you,” Clint says to Melinda, being sure that she has played a big part in Fury’s decision, who nods.

“You should show Natasha to the bunks,” Melinda tells Clint, before turning to Natasha. “I’ll see you in two weeks, Clint knows how to get in touch with me before then if you need anything,” Melinda explains to her, and Natasha nods.

Seeing Natasha’s nod and knowing that Natasha is feeling a little overwhelmed by everything that has happened over the past few minutes Melinda heads to the door.

“May,” Natasha says, and Melinda turns around to look at her. “I appreciate you going to bat for me,” Natasha tells her, and Melinda knows that after what she just did Natasha is worried about letting her down.  

“You’re welcome, I don’t think I’m going to regret it,” Melinda says before leaving, causing Natasha to be confused about how Melinda could know what she was worried about.

“Yeah, May just seems to know things, I don’t know how,” Clint says, recognizing the look on Natahsa’s face, as one he has seen before, one he knows has been on his face before, but what he has never had is an explanation. “Let’s get out of here,” Clint suggests, as while the bunks aren’t the most comfortable, they are certainly more comfortable than the room they are currently in, and Natasha stands up, wondering if she is ever going to figure Melinda May out, as she does.

(Line break)

After leaving the Triskelion Melinda heads back home and as she walks into her townhouse Melinda wakes the person sleeping on the couch resulting in her best friend Phil Coulson pointing a gun at her.  

“Just me,” Melinda says, not even phased, causing Phil to realise it’s her, before she turns and locks the door while Phil lowers the gun.

“Can’t be too careful,” Phil says.

“Don’t have to tell me that,” Melinda says as she walks over him, appreciating his actions. “How are the girls?” Melinda asks.

“Fine, neither have made a peep,” Phil says as Melinda sits down next to him.

“Good, thank you for staying with them,” Melinda says to him.

“Happy too, you know I’m always wiling to help,” Phil tells Melinda.

“I know,” Melinda says, knowing she will always be grateful for that.

“So? You going to keep me in suspense or you going to tell me what Clint got himself into?” Phil asks curious, as he has been wondering what was going on since Melinda left.  

“He recruited a Russian operative he was sent to take out,” Melinda explains, knowing it is the simplest way to explain that.

“He what?” Phil asks shocked.

“Yeah... he had his reasons,” Melinda admits. “He made the right call,” Melinda admits.

“Which I’m guessing is what he wanted you to tell Fury,” Phil realises, everything falling into place for him.

“Yep,” Melinda confirms. “I was the second person to do so,” Melinda explains.

“Peggy?” Phil asks and Melinda nods.

“He called her for her assessment,” Melinda explains.

“Well, she is the best person to ask about something like this,” Phil comments, as just because Peggy is no longer director of SHIELD doesn’t mean she no longer influences things. 

“Really is,” Melinda confirms.

“How’s she doing?” Phil asks curious, as it has been a little while since he seen the founder of SHIELD.

“Okay… considering,” Melinda answers. “She’s struggling, especially lately,” Melinda admits.

“It would have been their wedding anniversary recently…right?” Phil asks, wondering if he has gotten his dates mixed up.

“Yeah,” Melinda confirms. “It would have been their fortieth,” Melinda explains. “From what I was told it was a hard day, a struggle to get through, but she wasn’t alone,” Melinda says, and Phil knows exactly who would have told Melinda that, but he also knows why Melinda wouldn’t have been there.

“Good,” Phil says, feeling glad that Peggy didn’t have to experience that day alone. “So, I got the info for the next retreat,” Phil reveals, and Melinda knows that while it is not the first time Phil has received that invitation, he is still amazed by it. “I assuming the fact that it covers Hope’s sixteenth birthday isn’t a coincidence,” Phil assumes.  

“No, it’s not,” Melinda confirms. “We wanted to make sure she has something special, even if it’s not Hank who makes sure of that,” Melinda tells Phil.

“It’s what she deserves,” Phil says. “Do you really think he won’t do anything for her?” Phil asks curious.

“I don’t know, we’ll have to wait and see,” Melinda tells Phil.

“I assume we got the information about the retreat now as even though it’s months away it takes that long to make sure all of you can be there,” Phil comments.

“All of us Phil,” Melinda corrects. “You know you’re considered family,” Melinda reminds him.

“I know… but I’m like Jim,” Phil says, and Melinda gives him a look which says, ‘you going to explain that,’. “The rest of you want us to be with you, consider us family, but we’re still outsiders and may not be able to always be with you,” Phil tells Melinda, who frowns, Phil knowing that technically Fury could be in the same boat but slightly more removed.

“None of us consider you, either of you, to be outsiders,” Melinda assures Phil. “You know that right?” Melinda asks as she assumes that had been made clear, but if they haven’t then she knows it’s something that they do have to make clear.

“I know… but we didn’t experience what the rest of you experienced, what Hope, Antoine and Sharon are starting to experience, what Daisy and Bobbi will one day experience, no matter how hard we all try to protect them from it,” Phil reminds her. “So as welcome as you have made us, as much as you consider us to be family, and we consider you to be, we could never completely understand what it’s like for all of you, and that’s what makes us outsiders,” Phil tells Melinda, who realises he may have a point.

“You try to understand, that means… everything,” Melinda says.

“So, your godmother has said…. Many ways in many different ways,” Phil says, and Melinda knows he is not talking about Peggy. “My point, which I do have, is I’m glad to know when the next retreat is, but if I have to cover a mission so you can be there I will,” Phil tells Melinda, as he knows that’s more important.

“I appreciate it,” Melinda says, Phil knowing that even if that’s not always clear, and before he can say anything he yawns. “Spare rooms yours if you want to get some rest,” Melinda tells Phil.

“I might just do that,” Phil says. “Goodnight, May,” Phil says standing up.

“Goodnight Coulson,” Melinda responds, and once she does Phil heads out of the room, after Phil heads out of the room Melinda spends a few moments just sitting on the couch before getting up and heading upstairs.

Once upstairs rather than heading to her own room Melinda heads to another bedroom. Walking into the room Melinda finds her infant daughter Daisy asleep in her crib while Bobbi, her, recently turned, nine-years-old adoptive daughter is fast asleep in her bed.

Walking over to her girls Melinda checks on Bobbi, tucks her in, and places a kiss on her head, and spends a few moments watching her sleep. After watching Bobbi for a little while Melinda walks over to Daisy where she once again bends down and places a kiss on Daisy’s head, and despite knowing she is exhausted Melinda just watches her daughter rather than catching up on sleep as that’s what her peace is.

[safetycar-restart]

fuck. ur killing me. pierre in lingerie. speechless…

ok im done being speechless i love to talk.

sooo. i had this thought. the boys have a formal event together. like at the end of the season. and pierre, being the cheeky shit he is, wants to make bunny shut down. so he wears red lingerie (maybe the same from the first time if they weren’t ripped to shreds). and he has a few buttons undone and wears the cologne he knows charles takes with him everywhere to spray on pillows if needed. however u catch on. and know what he’s doing. so u decide to surprise pierre equally. and dress charles urself. in MATCHING panties (maybe in black or pink instead cause hes cute) and prep him with a pretty, large plug that has a big gem on the end and sits so nicely. and it also hits bunny’s prostate exactly so hes almost dead within five minutes. and poor bunny is just so so so braincell-less. cause he’s so desperate and so needy. he doesn’t want to go. like at the event he sees a glimpse of red when pierre bends over and, he may be an (adorable) idiot but he’s also got enough brain left in him to put two and two together so bunny dies. he just like spills his drink everywhere and his mouth hangs open until you close it for him. because he is now just ‘HORNY HORNY HORNY’ in his head. and thats when he forces u to go home. and pierre is so smug cause he still has no idea abt bunny’s plug. until he notices charles trying to grind down on it in the car ride home. thats when he gets suspicious. and at home he sees charles and just moans. just. moans. hes thankful that u did it but also needs to plot to be more subtle next time. and he fucks bunny into oblivion, and bunny just hold ur hand. cause thats what he needs. thats it.

my god im not good at keeping it short. merci for ur amazing brain.

🍁

Oh god this entire concept is absolutely amazing. Also I cackled at 'ok I'm done being speechless'. This is the exact type of energy I want to see on this blog it's incredible.

Firstly, I think the original red panties would absolutely ruined by this point. I don't think Charles ripped them the first time, because he's too shy and in awe the first time, not even sure if he's allowed to touch until you encourage him.

After the third or fourth time though... they get absolutely ruined because bunny gets too horny and impatient. To be honest, Pierre expected them to torn way earlier.

However, Pierre does decide to buy the exact same red panties as the ones he wore the first time Charles saw him in panties.

He tells you all of this of course, and he's SO pleased with himself because he has one goal and one goal only: to make bunny so horny that he cant even think and has to be taken home before the after party even starts.

So you decide to help out, and make bunny even more horny while also doing something that will ruin Pierre when he finds out.

It's shockingly easy to get Charles to agree to wear a plug during the event. You dont even finish asking the question before he agrees because he would love that so much.

Maybe Charles isnt even supposed to be at the same table as you and Pierre for the event, but Charles gets Ferrari to pull some strings and change where he's supposed to sit because there's no way he can handle a plug all evening if he cant sit with you and Pierre.

The first half of the evening goes relatively well, with Charles sitting next to Pierre and trying to act like he doesnt desperately want to grind down on the plug.

Until Pierre drops his fork (you're convinced he did it on purpose), and has to bend over to get it and Charles sees a flash of red.

Charles leans forward to look past Pierre and at you. You simply smirk at him and then he knows. Yes he's already a horny mess, but Bunny always realises something like this because he's your horny little bunny.

"Pierre?" Charles pretty much squeaks, "Are you..."

"Ferrari red," is all Pierre says, getting up to go see if the three of you can leave yet.

In the end, you have to keep shuffle into Pierre's seat and put your hand on Bunny's thigh to calm him down and stop him from running after Pierre, because there's no way he's coherent enough to excuse himself.

Pierre manages to arrange it, saying that you and him are sharing a taxi with Charles and so the three of you are leaving together. There are some pretty unhappy Ferrari execs who wanted Charles to be at the afterparty, but he's out the door before they even realise he's left.

And yeah by this point, Charles just HORNY HORNY HORNY not a single thought in his head besides Pierre in panties and how the plug feels against his prostate. He cant stop himself from grinding down on the plug, you're in the car now and he's far too horny to think critically anymore.

You spot the exact moment Pierre realises that Charles has a plug in him. His eyes widen, breathing deep and instantly looking out the window to try and control himself.

The moment you're back at the apartment, Pierre is half heartedly glaring at you and mumbling "You little shit..." under his breath.

You just laugh at him, because you know he loves it.

Pierre really does fuck him into oblivion, not holding back at all because he's all stretched out from the plug. Maybe he... puts the panties in Charles's mouth to keep him quiet and bunny is just fucking wrecked.

It's the best end to the season possible.

[lennies-blog]

English translation: Vettel/Schumacher Interview Nürburgring 2009

I saw @micksebcharles reposting the GIF of this video, so I found the original video and translated the whole thing! 🙈

This is actually so cute, it’s basically 11 Minutes of the two of them gushing about each other🥺💕

(And I also got a bit sentimental, there are a lot of things I can imagine Michael would say to Mick right now, the way he talks about Seb’s first steps in Formula 1, mistakes he makes, how to learn from them and so on🥺💕)

Source: Youtube.com

I: And just as interesting is an interview we will listen to now that took place on Wednesday – there was a charity football match here in the area where Sebastian Vettel and Michael Schumacher both were in the same team. And during halftime they met up in the referee’s cabin and spoke to out colleague Felix Görler and a few very interesting facts came out of it. First part of the conversation Vettel – Schumacher, now!

The First Meeting

Michael: We’ve actually known each other for quite some time. Really became aware (at) the famous race in Kerpen, I think you were seven if I’m not wrong? Or maybe eight, something around that?

Seb: I think eleven already!

M: Really?? In that rain race?

S: Ten! I was ten! ’97, so I was ten there.

M: Was that ’97? I can’t remember! But he was definitely a bit smaller and happily up and about! And since then, I kind of became quite aware of him. The proximity to Gerhard Noack, who also sponsored him as well as me during my days – (it) was of course easy to stay in contact and meet up again (and again).

I: What stood out to you at that race?

M: Well, the race was special in that regard that he was the only one who could drive at the front in the rain in slicks. There were, I don’t know, quite some boys driving with slicks, then suddenly it starts to rain, everyone with wets on was driving up front, except for him, he was able to drive at the front in slicks. That is an incredible gift and if you see something like that you can say that there is a lot of talent.

I: How was that for you? Did you know that Michael stood there and looked over your shoulder?

M: (*laughs*) Well I was opening the race (by waving the flag), sooo!

S: Of course, I still remember it vividly, of course, for all kids - we were all seven up to eleven, twelve years old – I Still remember there were over a hundred race starters and especially for the last round where he came to wave the flag and to give us the trophies in the end was something really special. And it has been a feat to get into the final already, since only 34 qualified for it and I still know I was standing quite close to the front and the race director got us to the very front and Michael was standing right next to us, and I was looking up at him though my little helmet awestruck. And then he (Michael) was asking around ‘Is it oaky? With the weather?’ and I was like ‘Yeah, if it stays like this it should be working, but it’ll be slippery’. Some then decided to start on wet tyres, and we went for the slicks, because we were like ‘No risk no fun’, was a bit of a failure if you look at the result, but at least I still got second place, so it was quite a good race.

The role model Michael

S: That’s true, he was the hero, as just mentioned especially at the NRW (North Rhine Westphalia, state in Germany) Cup that was held exclusively in Kerpen, a championship with about 4-5 races per year and the highlight for all the kids was always when Michael came to the last race to honour us. Therefore, for most of the kids, and also for me, he was the hero at the track with posters of him at the wall, which maybe changed a little with 14/15 when you go other things on your mind (*grins*) –

I: Which (thoughts)?

S: They got a bit rounder! And they weren’t cars anymore! You only concentrated on the people anymore ;) But of course, you always looked up (to him) so it was something special to meet him that early on, and yeah, completely awestruck, cause you never realise it’s the one you always see on TV and it’s the same person I’m talking to right now. But on the other side, he is a person like everyone else and I think we have quite the good relationship and especially things like here on the pitch we have a similar amount of fun and we enjoy that both.

The Upcoming World Champion?

M: I think in that moment that we just talked about at karting, about the gift, to assert oneself, to position oneself, to make no mistakes under extreme conditions, that is an immense talent that must be there and he continuously showed that in all the categories I believe, especially showed that last year in a not so competitive car and when the car was able to give him something, that he drove spectacular races like in Monza (Italien GP 14.09.08, first Toro Rosso win) and he continues to prove himself. So regarding his talent there can be no questions left to ask, but to watch his career, when and which decisions are made, cause that is definitely something that will be important later when it’s about reaching that goal of a world title. We all were and are dependent on our cars and that’s what gives or takes the success in the end. But up until now he had the right nose for that, sits in the absolutely right car, does a good job. That a few things sometimes happen that were not quite predicted is normal I would say –

I: Melbourne? (Melbourne GP 29.03.09, Sebastian was in second place until the end, defends too hard against Kubica and causes and accident that causes a retirement for both)

M: No, I wouldn’t even say that - this (sort of thing) comes with experience. He is still young and those are the experience you have to make, you can only learn from difficult situations. That was the same for me and a lot of others as well and he is young enough for that I think that he can live through that and he learns a lot and fast through that and we will still have a lot of fun with him I am certain of it.

Schumacher the Person

S: Yeah, I think he stayed very down to earth. I think on the outside it sometimes seemed different, but I think if you live through the same – of course not in that extent – but I think at one point you have to concentrate on yourself and on what is most important to you and that should be the driving. And sometimes you can’t always please everyone and then in no time you might misinterpret it and you will be stamped as arrogant so to say, but otherwise besides the success it more the result of how he managed/did the sport. As I said, always with the goal ahead, sometimes you might have to make sacrifices here and there on the way but I think he never lost track of his goal, not after one race he has won or after one title he has won, he always kept this hunger, always wanted to improve, always tried to improve, improve, improve every tiny detail, at least that’s the way I saw it, and in the end he was that much better than everyone else, as the others might not have been that bright to consider all that and overall one of the steadiest’ and the best.

The Recipe of Success

M: The recipe for success isn’t just one ingredient. There are a lot of things that come into play and if you’ve got an eye for all these details, then the cake that you want to eat afterwards will taste a lot better. And I believe that the karting school Sebastian went through very thoroughly was very important for him, that he was able to learn a lot, watched out for all these little details, took it all with him into Formula 1 and can now live though it even more intensively. Fact is, what I think is very pleasant with Sebastian is, that a lot of those factors are there, but also his youthfulness, his light-heartedness and it’s always a lot of fun to watch him and to cross your fingers for him.

Learning from a World Champion

S: It’s mostly, as I said, the things off track, as every year the cars change, the tyres change, so it’s always different, you always must rechoose your line as a driver, so I can’t ask him like at the Nürburgring, where he has been three years ago the last time, ‘How would you take turn 8?’ as an example.

M: I just drove there with my motorbike a few weeks ago!

S: That’s a different (ideal racing) line, I think! Yeah, so that’s something you would have to find out yourself at one stage. You kind of look how others do it and talk to the to the drivers eventually, that helps as well, but you (ultimately) must do it on your own. They are first and foremost things off track (that I can learn from him). I can still remember very well the example where I was just before my first Formula 1 test and out of coincidence, I met him shortly before that and I often had questions about physical health, physical fitness and he helped me out there and told me to go swimming! I was always shy or always had difficulties to breathe (in), to get air – especially with crawling, since I never learned it properly – and then at some stage after that talk I took a bite out of the sour apple, nearly died in the beginning, desperately lapping for air after the first length and it got better and better and now it’s works without any problems. Those are the things, left and right that I think, well Michael had the example with the cake, and I think it’s a house, it’s not just one brick that stands but a lot of smaller bricks and in the end it’s all up to little details that sometimes make a small difference, but sometimes a big one.

Vettel vs Schumacher

M: Well, regarding the fitness is probably one thing, but the other thing is that I did my part, I had my share of fun and I enjoy seeing the younger generation compete against that and I have a lot of fun watching. I have a lot of other different hobbies that I can attend to now, that I can have a lot of fun with, enjoy the freedom, so no, I’m not really tempted now, but we might drive karts sometimes and have a little fun, that’s okay as well.

S: He was of course the exception, but it’s not like I say that I would cry after him that I was 2 years too late, that’s nonsense. I just have to think about, when I was a little boy and it was all so far away for me and BOOM, suddenly I sat in the car – of course, step by step -  it has all been quite fast, but I don’t think too fast for me, cause everytime I had enough time to get used to it. And of course, in the beginning you regularly fall on your face, but that’s all part of it, uphill, downhill, and you’ve got a lot to learn. Of course, later, with experience comes a certain routine, your are more sure, more sure of yourself and ideally it’s all happening on its own.

Victory at the Home GP

M: Definitely. Just to have a home GP and then be able to drive it – I think ’95 was the first time if I remember correctly that we made it, after a lot of attempts and yeah out of sheer joy my motor even gave up shortly behind the finish line and they had to drag it back, but I just relished it. I had a lot of fun and it’s something really special. I think sooner or later Sebastian will experience that himself and we definitely keep our fingers crossed for that!

I: Thank you to both of you and enjoy the rest of the game!

[peachsayshi]

Chapter 10 - Intimate (2)

Tags: Friends with Benefits, Angst, Fluff 

Summary: Gojo uses you to relieve some of his stress after his little argument with your best friend, and poses a question that catches you off guard.

A/N: this chapter was a bit difficult for me to write and I think it's because it turned out to be sort of a filler chapter! Also, please excuse any errors - I am definitely posting this half asleep lol! but I am really excited to share the upcoming ones! I initially said that this was going to be 25 chapters but I outlined the rest of the story and there will be more! Hehe I do plan on doing the few extra one-shots in the end, so I hope you enjoy.

- - - 

“Tell me you’re mine…”  

You blushed at the thought of Satoru’s words, painfully aware of the knot that tightened in the pit of your stomach which then tugged at your lungs, slowing your breath. You reached for the seasoning packets, ripping open the colored wrappers to prepare the ramen broth. You watched as tiny circles began to form from the bottom of the metal pot, bubbling it’s way to the surface. You could hear the shower still running from your bathroom, a bit relieved that Gojo was taking his time because you wanted to bask in the few precious minutes you had to yourself to try and quieten your racing thoughts.

You couldn’t focus on the task of preparing dinner because the word “mine” slipping from Gojo’s lips in a feverish claim was playing on a loop in your head. The way his tone darkened with urgency when he held his body close to yours sent goosebumps to run up your arms. You couldn’t figure out where the possessive streak came from or why he felt the need to assert his dominance over an act that should not have been as intimate as it felt. You folded your arms over your chest, subconsciously pinching your skin as you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.

There was a difference when you made your own personal comparisons in the safety of your mind versus Gojo bringing it up in the bedroom. Somehow admitting your confession to him made you feel vulnerable and his reaction didn’t make it any  better, appearing to be competitive about the entire situation.

That doesn’t make any sense, why would he care? you wondered.

You never actually paid attention to how Gojo felt about your ex-boyfriend. For the most part he’s always been nice to him. Although the two of them weren’t the closest of friends, they seemed to get along whenever you all hung out together. You never would have anticipated that Gojo would be…

Jealous of him ?

That he would resent him?

Honestly, you didn’t even have an explanation for what it could possibly mean.

“ Pay attention…”

Gojo’s voice startled you, you didn’t even realise he was standing right behind you until you noticed him reach his arm forward to reduce the flame, stopping the water from bubbling over the pot.

“Whoops! Lost my train of thought for a second...” you lied, refusing to look in his direction in the hopes that he wouldn’t catch you blushing.

“That’s a safety hazard, you know?” he teased, still standing dangerously close behind you as he reached for the dry noodles himself and placed them into the pot. “You need sharp eyes when cooking otherwise you’ll end up having an unnecessary accident.”

A nervous chuckle escaped you as you circled to face him. Gojo had borrowed one of your black silk scarves, using it as a makeshift blindfold since his own was now tumbled between your bedsheets on the floor. You could smell your coconut and hibiscus body wash off him, the scent combining with the residual cologne on his clothes. An easy smile spread across that handsome face, his relaxed demeanor contrasting the state he was in when he first knocked on your door.

He’s your friend, you reminded yourself. What happens in the bedroom doesn’t mean anything…  

It shouldn’t mean anything.  

“Whatever you say, sensei ...” you chirped, burying your wayward thoughts. “Why don’t you grab those mats and I’ll bring these over to the table”

You assembled the two bowls, adding a little extra broth for Gojo because you knew he preferred it that way. Meanwhile, he had placed the two mats on the opposite side of the dining table, taking care not to disturb your work set up.

“Here you go,” you said, as you slid the bowl in front of him while he took his seat.

“Thank you!”

At first you both sat in silence, Gojo was responding to a few unanswered text messages but you were studying him with curious eyes, waiting for him to give you an explanation for his sudden visit.

“ Sooo, you want to tell me what that was all about?” you asked.

“That being?”

You waved your chopsticks in the direction of your bedroom, raising your brow before replying, “That being the sequence of events that just transpired…”

“ Stress relief ...” Gojo explained in between bites as he casually tucked his phone back into his pocket.

You thrummed your fingers against the warm bowl in your hands, fidgeting with the chopsticks in the other.  “Well, I’m glad I could help you unwind, I guess...”

He flashed you a wicked grin, “Me too, because I need a repeat of the show...”

“I can’t look at you when you say that,” you remarked, focusing your attention onto the noodles and growing shy at his comment.

“Am I embarrassing you?”

“A little…”

“I don’t understand why, that was fucking hot ...”

Your face burned, the heat radiating all the way to the back of your neck from his words. You cleared your throat as you rolled your eyes at him, desperately trying to brush off his statement in a cool manner. You could feel the knot in your stomach, the thoughts you were having crept back into your mind as you tried to hush them away.

You decided to shift the conversation away from the bedroom and back to Gojo instead. If he wasn’t so flustered by his own emotions, you might have accepted his excuse of needing to relieve stress but you knew there was more to the story.

“Did something happen at work?” you questioned.

Gojo chuckled to himself, “It’s funny how you won’t even acknowledge my compliment... ”

“Are you really going to make me pry a proper answer out of you?” you huffed, and he could hear your annoyance in your tone.

Gojo wished that he didn’t have to get into this particular part of the conversation with you, knowing full well how it was going to bring down the mood.

“No, nothing happened at work,” he said with a sigh, “I was with Rina. She asked me to stop by her shop…”

You knitted your brows in confusion, “That’s kind of random.”

Gojo nodded his head, “I thought so too. She initially told me that she wanted to get my opinion on some new items she was dropping for her menu. Turns out I was only there because she wanted to know how long you and I have been sleeping together for…”

You choked at his statement, his nonchalant words nearly going over your head.

Gojo kept eating, unphased by your reaction. “Need some water?”

“Y-yes…no, ugh, nevermind …she asked you how …”

“ How long you and I have been fucking… ” Gojo replied, flicking his index finger back between you both to fully clarify his statement.

The knot in your stomach cinched, a wave of nausea swirling in your gut as you placed your chopsticks down.

“How... how did she even find out? ” you whispered to yourself as you slumped against the back of your chair.

“She saw us at the park.”

“ Oh .”

You and Rina have both had your fair share of arguments before but sometimes when her emotions got the better of her, Rina’s outbursts often came with her sharp tongue. Over the years you had to explain to her that her words carried more weight than she thought, and in turn she became more conscious around you. However it suddenly dawned on you that Gojo might have been on the receiving end of Rina’s unfiltered anger.

You covered your face with your hands, groaning with frustration. “What did she say?”

“ Hmm ?”

“What did Rina say to you?”

Gojo shrugged his shoulders, “don’t worry about what she said to me. I know she didn’t mean anything by it...”

“But you were upset when you got here…”

“Let’s clarify something, Rina was upset because she was hurt. I was just annoyed by the situation. There’s a difference...”

You wished he would take your conversation a little more seriously and not brush it off with such ease but sighed knowing full well that Gojo wasn’t going to tell you what exactly happened which meant that Rina must have said something deliberately hurtful towards him.

“ I’m sorry… ”

“Why are you apologizing?”

You picked up your utensils, “For dragging you into this unnecessary drama I started. I should have just told Rina what was going on between us…”

Gojo paused after slurping a noodle, “well, why didn’t you tell her?”

“She’s been overprotective recently… ” you explained, not wanting to get into the details that the reason was purely based on your break up and how terrible you have been about getting over it. “I knew that if I told her about our arrangement she would analyze me to death over it and I didn’t want to deal with that…”

“Fair point,” Gojo acknowledged with a hum.

His short responses unsettled you, and you found yourself overcompensating to make up for it. “I’ll talk to her and smooth things over and I’ll make sure she apologizes for whatever it is that she said to you. She shouldn’t take her frustration out on you just because she was upset with me...”

Gojo nodded his head but you could clearly sense that he was not in the mood for any serious conversations right now. Taking himself out of this particular topic, Gojo quickly changed the subject after you made your last statement.

He kept the rest of the chat lighthearted, distracting your worries by telling you little anecdotes he had about his co-worker, Nanami. You suddenly found yourself giggling when Gojo revealed that he practically stalked Nanami for an entire day just so he could force the man to hang out him.

“I feel bad for the poor guy, you completely terrorize him,” you stated, clearing the table once you were both done eating.

You made your way over back to your kitchen where you rinsed off the bowls before placing it in the dishwasher. “You’re free to hang out if you want,” you offered, noticing Gojo get himself together as he was preparing to leave.

“I think I distracted you enough for tonight,” he replied.

You walked him to the door, following in line with his long strides. Just as he was about to reach the handle of your front door, he stopped before turning to face you.

“You don’t owe anyone an explanation about what is going on between us,” he stated, his voice low and serious.

You blinked a couple of times in surprise before parting your lips to respond, “I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but I know what Rina’s feeling and the only way I can see myself fixing this problem is by telling her everything. We never keep secrets from each other and I would probably be equally as hurt if she chose to hide something from me too... ”

Gojo pressed his lips together, navigating the words floating in his mind before reaching his hand out to touch your fingers.

“I get it but I just…”

“ Just ?...”

He exhaled, “I don’t want you overthinking anything between us, okay?”

“Don’t worry, even though we are terrible at sticking to our own rules, I am fully aware of where we both stand…”

You notice the relief wash over Gojo’s face as he slips his fingers away from your touch, “Good, because I like what we are doing.”

“I-I like it too…” you replied almost instantly, your heart racing at your own admittance.

The sorcerer left you a bundle of nerves when he said his goodbye. The knot in your stomach made its presence known, twining itself around your insides as you couldn’t escape this foreign emotion that seemed to have infiltrated your body.

*** 

CHAPTER 11 - FRIENDS

[footballfanfictions]

The thrill of the chase - Chapter Five

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Warnings: Smut (18+)

 —————————————————————————————

Mason

 I had watched Katie and Ben leave hand in hand, absolutely seething. I had this awful sickening feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t quite understand. All i knew for sure was that I didn’t trust Ben. I had known him before he arrived at Chelsea and we had played together for England./ He had always seem like quite a sound lad, but there was just something about him that I didn’t like.

Christina had whined at me all night about dancing with her and when I refused had gone off in a huff to dance with a group of other guys on the dancefloor, grinding against them provocatively, as if that would ever make me mad. I had been going off her for a long time now, only clinging on to the relationship because I was scared of being on my own. 

My mind kept going back to Katie kissing Ben on the dancefloor. How he had held onto her, how she had run her hand through his hair. If I was honest with myself I knew why I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it because I wished that it were my hands on her. 

I had quietly admired her from afar for the entire previous season since returning from my loan at Derby County. In that entire time she had barely even said a word to me and that only made the longing feeling worse if anything. I’ve always enjoyed the thrill of the chase. 

I felt bad for silently celebrating the end of her long term relationship, which I found out about from one of the physios one day when casually asking why Katie looked so sad that day. She had always been quite a serious person fully invested in her job, but that day changed her and she had gone cold.

Now I was seeing her fire returning, and she was burning for Ben.

I thought all of these thoughts while Christina was on top of me, half heartedly grinding against me. She hated going on top, hated having sex with me in general really these days. I usually did all the work, taking all of my frustration out on her. But tonight she was drunk enough to do all the work, while I lay back against the pillows.

The only reason I was able to get hard and stay hard was because I was thinking about Katie. 

Christina started to move her hips a little faster against me then and I momentarily snapped out of my day dream, grabbing her hips firmly. Then I put the situation out of my head and concentrated on the fantasy of Katie on top of me.

A few moments later I felt her tighten around me and started to thrust up to meet her hips,cursing quietly under my breath “f-fuck.. Katie…”

It took a second for me to realise what I had said, my eyes snapping open to meet Christina’s but she was already rolling off of me and getting out of the bed to shower like she did after every time we had sex, wanting to wash the memory of me off of her. She was entirely oblivious.

 _______________________________________________________________

Katie

I woke up momentarily confused, the curtains still wide open from the day before allowed the sun to come streaming in and blinded me for a second.

My mouth felt uncomfortably dry and my head was slightly pounding. 

Rolling over I knocked into the side of Ben’s sleeping body and the memory of the previous night came back to me. 

I had slept with Ben, and we had barely even had a date. I scolded myself silently, wondering how I could be stupid enough to let a footballer sleep with me on the first night. I was probably one in a hundred girls that he had slept with early on and then never talked to again. 

He stirred and slung his arm across my stomach, pulling me in close against his chest, he nuzzled his head against my neck. I tried really hard not to smile at the fact that he was laying here cuddling me rather than getting up and running away straight away. 

“Stop fretting.” he mumbled quietly. His voice all low, sleepy and raspy sounding even more attractive than usual. “I’m not going anywhere…” he continued, now in a whisper, his lips moving to kiss my collarbone while his hand swept my hair out of the way. 

I breathed out a deep sigh of relief and relaxed into his arms. 

“Didn’t scare you away then?” I joked.

Disregarding the sex, this was the most intimate I had been with anyone since Rory. I tried not to show Ben how insecure I felt about being completely bare before him. 

“No way” he smirked. 

We were both silent for a minute, Ben was still holding me against him, his fingertips now trailing down my back. I was struggling to figure out what I should say to him now. Should I offer him some breakfast? Ask him to hang out with me today? It had been so long since I had brought someone home with me outside of a relationship that I had no idea what the post sex etiquette was. 

“What time is it?” Ben asked, lifting his head to look at the display on my alarm clock sat on the bedside table. 

I looked at it too, having to squint to read the display clearly due to the sunshine. “8.30”

He jolted slightly against me and then sat up. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry but there is somewhere that I need to be.” he pressed a quick kiss to my cheek but then offered no further explanation as he silently dressed.

I waited until his back was turned while he was putting his shoes and socks back on before I slipped out of the bed covers myself and threw a pair of shorts and a t shirt on to look half way to presentable to see him out. 

Once we were both dressed he grabbed my hand and pulled me against him to give me a brief kiss. 

“See you later then.” I said casually.

He smiled at me and squeezed my hand, letting me lead him to the front door. 

“I’ll text you.” he said.

 _________________________________________________________

Monday morning had rolled around and admittedly I had been disappointed not to hear from Ben, but presumed that he was probably just busy. 

As usual I was busy following the weekend. Chelsea had played yesterday lunchtime and I had a folder full of matchday pictures to go through and edit to occupy my time. 

By lunchtime I had barely made a dent in my work and decided that I would just eat lunch sat at my desk to try to get through a little bit more of it but Bri had other ideas, coming bounding into my office like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh with a massive grin on her face. She was so happy that it lifted my sour mood almost instantly.

“Katie! So sorry that I didn’t text you back on Friday. I knew you were out with the boys and didn’t want to disturb you, and well… me and Billy went on our date and ended up spending the whole weekend together!” she was still bouncing as she sat down on the spare office chair which nearly rolled away from the desk from the force.

“Woah slow down, all weekend?” I asked her, puzzled as I looked down at the team sheet on the desk in front of me. “Wasn’t he in the squad yesterday?”

“Oh yeah but he got me a ticket and I sat just behind the bench so that we could talk to each other. He didn’t get to play unfortunately but it was still nice to be there to support him.” she said, beaming before continuing “then he took me to the megastore and bought me a shirt with his name on the back for me to wear next time. Isn’t that just the cutest thing?”

“The cutest…” I said quietly, trying my absolute best not to sound bitter or jealous seeing as Ben had run off suddenly on Saturday morning and couldn’t even be bothered to send me a text, compared to Billy who couldn’t get enough of being with Bri. I tried to tell myself that Billy had been into her for years so was of course going to be putting in a lot of effort, where Ben and I had only just met. It would have been nice to have felt a bit more wanted though. 

“Sooo… Billy told me that Ben was asking you out. Did you go?” she looked at me intently while asking the question and I knew then that she could tell that there was something wrong.

I told her everything, including what I knew about Ben’s ex and Jorginho and going to the nightclub with the boys, kissing Ben, Mason and his horrible girlfriend being weird, and then about sleeping with Ben and what had happened after.

“Oh…” she mumbled. “I thought that he was really into you. Billy said he’#s always talking about you and looking over at your office window when they’re training.”

I shook my head, trying not to feel pessimistic about the situation. It had only been two days and he could have genuinely been busy. 

“I’m sure he will text or call, or even pop in here to see you.” she leant over the desk then and gave me a hug in the best way that she could with a desk in the way. 

“Bri, you really like Billy now right? Not just to make you-know-who jealous?” I asked.

She laughed “Why would I want to make Voldermort jealous?”

I rolled my eyes at her and grinned “You know exactly who I meant.”

“He’s already forgotten.” she shrugged.

“Listen, I don’t think I can face going down for lunch could you bring me back a sandwich or something? I don’t really fancy being stared at. He has probably already told all of them how easy I was.”

Reluctantly she agrede to go without me but not without scolding me for thinking the way that I had, telling me that Ben wasn’t like that. 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Mason

“So, what happened with you and that girl?” Kai was asking Ben the question as we sat in a circle doing some stretches. We were right outside of Katie’s window and I had been trying really hard not to think about her with some success before Kai had brought her up. 

Ben stayed quiet for a minute as the group pushed him for an answer. Tammy finally bluntly asking if Ben had slept with her.

I looked for any sign of embarrassment on his face but there was none as he smirked “It was even her idea, she took me back to her place and then she was all over me.”

I grit my teeth together, biting me tongue so as not to say anything I might later regret or that might make playing with him awkward. I didn’t like the way that he was talking about her. He shouldn’t be showing off for the rest of the lads like that, not if he really liked her. He could have just said that he had a good night and wouldn’t kiss and tell.

My only solace was that he wasn’t going into intimate detail. He wouldn’t ruin my fantasies about her that way. 

“How did you leave things? You leaving the door open to hit that again?” Tammy was asking.

I looked up at her window then and could see her there, stood at the coffee machine. She looked tired and stressed, more so than she usually did on a Monday morning and my dislike of Ben grew that little bit stronger. 

“The door is ajar. Just letting her cool off a bit before I go back to her. Don’t need her getting all clingy on me.”

I was only half listening to Ben, finding that not looking at him made it easier to pretend that I was fine and egging him on like all of the others. 

Our coach Frank blew his whistle then and told us all to head inside for lunch and I hung back behind the rest of them as they all walked towards the doors to inside the complex.

I was last in line for food as a consequence of hanging back behind the others and realised that Katie’s friend was just ahead of me with Billy but no Katie.

“I need to take this back to Kate but I don’t want to miss out on time with you.” I heard her cooing to Billy who had the biggest grin on his face. It was nice to see him finally happy but a bit too sweet for me.

Interrupting them I offered to take the sandwich to Katie, saying that the table I was going to sit on was full anyway and I was planning on just grabbing one myself and heading for some physio. 

Katie’s friend was slightly hesitant at first but her desire to be with Billy overruled that in the end and she handed the sandwich over to me.

I stood at her office door nervously for a minute before I even knocked.

She opened the door expecting her friend and was surprised to see me there.

“I uh- brought your sandwich…” I mumbled, passing it to her.

“Are you ok Mase? It’s not like you to be so quiet.” 

I full on blushed at her calling me Mase and felt like a right idiot for doing so. It was a nickname that people called me affectionately and she had never been affectionate towards me. 

“It’s just…” I started to speak but had no idea what excuse I was going to give. I couldn’t exactly tell her that I was jealous of Ben.

“Is it your girlfriend? She was um, nice?” she giggled, and I couldn’t think if I had ever heard her laugh before. It was infectious.

“If I’m honest I haven’t been invested in that relationship for a long time but I can’t bring myself to end it. I’ve always been in relationships. I’m not...I’m not sure I know how to be on my own you know?” 

She gestured for me to sit down on one of the chairs and she perched on the end of her desk, taking a bite of her sandwich while she thought about what I said.

“I can understand that. I was in a long term relationship that ended last year and I thought we were going to be together forever so when it ended I had no idea how to be on my own again. I’m still not sure that I have it figured out now if I’m honest.” she shrugged. She was trying to seem casual about it but I saw straight through her. She was still hurting from that break up. 

“You’re not on your own anymore though, you have Ben.” I said quietly. Although I didn’t really want to think about them together I wanted to see how she reacted to me asking about it. If her face lit up with happiness at just the mention of his name, I would know that any chance of me changing her mind about him and about me was absolutely dead. 

She looked down at her feet and didn’t say anything.

“He’s not the best at communicating. Don’t give up on him yet.” Thinking back to what she had said to me not long ago about how privileged and big headed I had become, I decided in a split second that maybe I wouldn’t be good for her even if we could somehow date. Would I continue to get too big for my boots and end up pushing her away? By that time I would have burnt a lot of bridges and ruined a lot of professional and personal relationships and it didn’t feel worth the risk.

“You’ve changed your tune.” she said, obviously referring to me telling her that he wasn’t good for her.

I shrugged, standing up to leave. “He’s growing on me I guess.”

“Thanks for chatting Mase. Maybe you’re growing on me.” she smiled. 

I had turned to the door, so she couldn’t tell how hard I was smiling at what she had said. 

“See you later Katie.” I replied, trying to sound as casual as possible as my stomach did somersaults.

[wizkiddx]

a friendly face

a lil one inspired from seeing the recent interviews abt cherry - yes im a couple days late but am very slow. This is basically stolen and adapted from another of my stories so I don't think there's any bits left over by my dyslexic proof reading isnt that great so apologies!!! very speech heavy so sorry am trying to balance my writing more

Summary: Tom is having a hard time filming Cherry and dealing with the emotional baggage of it, so Harry recruits someone to make everything that little bit better.

tomhollandxreader

fluff and a little angst I guess?

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Harry, Tom and their driver Sian where all sitting in the car having left the set 20 minutes ago, heading back to their accommodation. Or more precisely, Harry and Sian sat in the two front seats- Harry only in the front as to allow Tom to lie down across the three back seats. He was asleep, or at least looked asleep, but Harry knowing his brother so well knew he was just wishing he was. The day had been torturous for Tom, they’d been filming a hospital sequence in which his character was heart broken. The sequence had involved him being thrown onto the floor multiple times, by a heavy handed stunt double who was not nearly as precise as those he’d worked with at ‘marvel’. Furthermore, there was also multiple scenes of him having to properly cry on camera, which although it sounds tame, is one of the hardest things you can ever ask an actor to do. At least, someone who commits half as much as Tom. For him to show that emotion, he had to go back to a place in his life where he didn’t really ever want to venture again. But even then, this character was such a fuck up, he had to do deeper.  He felt completely drained, emotionless and cold. But he couldn’t sleep, not for the guilt he felt for being short with everyone on set- he had never been like that before, he just felt like no one was respecting or understanding what he was going through. So instead he just lay on his side, facing the backs of the leather seats, arms folded in stubbornness- even if he had no idea why.

“Tom?…Tom, I know you’re awake… Look, we need to make a quick stop. You gotta come out.” Harry was actually slightly nervous his brother would just point blank refuse, even if he needed this so bad.

“I just need to get back to the apartment. Please Harry. Can’t we do it tommorrow?” The desperation dripping off Tom’s voice actually pained Harry to listen to. He knew Tom was having a crisis about how he treated everyone today, so chose to ignore his please in favour of some assurance.

“You know everyone understands… They just kept asking me if you were alright?” Harry could see the guilt radiating off Tom. It hurt him to see his big brother like this. 

“Please… I just need to get back” His small voice barely made it to the front of the car, but Harry heard it all. 

“It will take 2 minutes tops, I had a delivery but I need a hand carrying it, come on” Harry spoke as Sian turned on the indicator to pulled up next to the sidewalkpavement; the car slowing to a gentle halt. Tom didn’t reply, instead huffing as he used the head rest of the middle seat to pull himself up. Already out the car, Harry opened the door for him waiting patiently, because Harry knew he would be a hundred times better off in just a few moments. 

“What the hell have you even ordered that’s so big?” Tom sighed while ducking through the door into the cold Cleveland air, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk as Harry motioned for him to follow his feet. 

“Oh um don’t know, a good friend sent it actually” Harry tried to hide the grin that was spread over his face from showing in his voice, as he saw a very familiar head of hair running toward them.

“What friend?” Tom looked up sassily toward Harry, shortly questioning who would send Harry a parcel from England that was too big to be delivered or carried by himself. Only then, nearly 5 metres away from Sian in the car, did Tom look up to see where they were. It wasn’t the nearest post office or delivery warehouse - they were at the airport. “Harry what’s going on?” Tom questioned with a low and warning voice, skipping a step or two in order to catch up with his younger brother. 

“We’re collecting her” Harry smiled as he nodded forward. Following his gaze with eyes wide open, Tom turned forward just in time to see Y/h/c  flying over his face as he was engulfed by someones arms. Immediately sensing exactly who this was, Tom did not hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist and push his head into your neck. Smelling the familiar perfume, Tom couldn’t help but scoff, allowing a the jerky breath to leave his lungs as you arched away from the hug, cupping Tom’s face with both her hands. 

“I’ve been reliably informed you could use a friendly face” you smiled, noticing his raw emotions threatening to overtake him, so swiftly pressing just pressing your lips onto his. Seemingly frightened to move, Tom barely reacted to the kiss, so you pushed and deepened into it a little more- till you felt him relaxing against you. With that, you arched away again and smiled massaging his stubbly hair behind his left ear.

“How are you here?” He croaked staring deeply at her, switching between her left and right eye as if that somehow would confirm that this was real, not some cruel dream he was having. 

“Someone somewhere knew you were in need and bought me a plane ticket over… I’m coming home with you on monday” You grinned while  watching Tom’s eyes light up, he leaned in again to your lips instead of replying. 

“Er-cuh-huh” Harry loudly cleared his throat, causing the two to pull away from each other. “Sorry to interrupt, but Sian isn’t really allowed to stop there long sooo” They both nodded, before Tom lunged at his brother, holding him close and whispering thanks too. It was clear this was at least partly Harry’s doing, and he could never thank his brother enough.

“Umm.. as much as I’m enjoying this brotherly love we really do have to get back in the car” Harry awkwardly spoke as he almost pushed Tom off him. 

“Awww my favourite little brother being all mature” You giggled, taking your turn to hug Harry, admittedly a little shorter than Tom’s, but still with lots of gratitude.

“Please get stop loving me and get back into the car!” Harry yelled as he stormed off to Sian, leaving both you and Tom in fits of laughter. Grasping each others hand simultaneously the laughter continued as you followed Harry down the street to the car. 

Seeing you standing there; feeling your arms wrapped round his neck ; hearing your oh so sweet voice had Tom feeling…. Feeling lighter. It was as though your mere presence gave him the strength to carry all the things that were previously weighing him down like a truck. What was extraordinary though, was how it wasn’t just psychological. He literally felt his joints feel looser, he felt his body flood with warmth and he felt his heart calming down. When you’d first been getting close to each you’d had rather the opposite effect. Which was surprising because that was at the point Tom had never felt more confident - he had just returned form a avengers press tour, where naturally everyone had just loved him and played up to his every whim. He had legions of girls, some of them drop dead gorgeous where falling at his feet. And yet, when he met you it was as though he was transported back into his incredibly awkward teenage years. It was infuriating, he knew he could act cool and unbothered and smooth however as soon as you stood informant of his it was like his mind melted, filling it with utter gibberish and garble. In fact, he was plainly floored by you - how kind and pure hearted you were, how respectful and how you found hhis jilted flirting adorable and not to forget how drop dead gorgeous you are. 

It had taken a while and a hell of a lot of opening up, but over time he found the opposite happening. Your presence became something else entirely, not one that would put him on his toes and have his heart racing - more of a comfort. He slept better when you were beside him, his nerves never got the better of him if you were there to cheer him on. He could relax completely without any fear of judgement, any worry at all with you. What you had done is change the definition of something so fudemental and a given in life. You’d changed home from a place to something much more intangible. A person; a feeling; a connection. You were his home.

“Sian are we close?” You asked, turning your attention away from the two brothers annecdotes from filming, realising Sian must’ve been driving for about 30 minutes. 

“Yep just the next right I think” Sian replied gently while turning the wheel as the indicator clicked.

“Where are we going?” Tom asked, looking first at you then pleadingly at Harry- knowing he had more of a chance with his brother. 

“Well” You started and he whipped his head back round “I know it’s late and you’ve been working all day, but you have alater  10 o’clock call time tomorrow instead of 6, so this is the best night to do something. We found a driving range-with heaters” which was a very important factor since Cleveland was bloody freezing “- that we thought you’d like to play a game or two?” The massive smile in response meant you’d hit the nail on the head.

“And soz but I’m crashing the game otherwise- and no offence, but you would win waayyyy toooo easy Tom” Harry butted in and sniggered as he interrupted the lovey-dovey stares. You gasped at that in mock offence, holding your hand over your chest. 

“Oi you, Paddy has been teaching on the Holland boys days out you both missed- I’ll have you know I now am aware that you have to get the ball into the hole, not a goal as previously thought.”

The boys both groaned in unison and Y/n wiggled her eyebrow grinning, elbowing Tom slightly in the side. “Things might have changed since you left you know?”

Yet another thing Tom loved so completely about you, was how effortlessly you had fitted into his family. Honestly, none of the Hollands could imagine life without you anymore - especially Nikki, who had quite literally attempted adopting you so she officially wasnt the only female in the immediate family. Sam used you as an expert taster for all his marvellous culinary creations (even if your judgement was always the same, it was very good); Dom often ended up picking your brains about your work, he found you ‘actual proper’ job as a doctor simply amazing , where all his family had never been especially acadmeically gifted; and Paddy just plain saw you as his older sister. So it was hardly surprising at all that when two of their actual kids flew across the world , you’d been the obvious placeholder. Yes, golf was most definitely your forte - but you were enthusiastic, with a positive (if flightily misguided) give it a go attitude. 

The try-try-and-try-again attitude that never really worked … until Paddy taught you how to hit a clean drive.

“I am not joking, I am asking the lady at the desk there’s no way!” 

“Tom you are the worst looser I have ever met! I didn’t cheat, I’ve just taken up a new hobby”

“There is no way Tom… no way she can get that good” Harry huffed as he ran straight past you to catch up with Tom, making sure that you did see the harsh glare he shot him. The outrage that Y/n had beaten them both at the driving range was way worse than anything you could’ve predicted- now you sort of were wishing you’d let them win. Oh wait…. Of course you weren’t  - this was priceless. Especially their faces when you’d launched your first ball super accurately inn the centre of the second furthest away target. They had reacted as if you had just stripped butt naked, you thought; standing their jaws hanging with a look of almost fear in their eyes.

“You could see the balls land with your own eyes! Practice makes perfect!”

“Thats not fair though! It took you like 8 weeks to be like that?”

“I mean you were obviously just taught by the wrong Holland, Paddy’s a  pretty good teacher!” You smiled as your trio turned the corner and walked through reception, seeing Harry desperate to ask the receptionist but Tom just looking over his shoulder to give a hurt look to at you.

“I’m going to ban you from being closer to my brothers than me”

“I can’t help if he’s cuter then you alright?” You smirked and raised an eyebrow, as Tom stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.

“That’s it… your gonna get it” he spoke in a low voice, with a mischievous look in his eye, abruptly he launched himself at you -  barely having  time to swerve away from him and start a sprint towards the exit, giggling as you took a glance back to see Tom chasing you out, Harry quickly in tow too. 

“Your not allowed to beat me at golf!” In a jokey voice, you heard Tom yell, just as you reached the sleek black 4x4 and hurdling yourself into it. 

“I’m in the car it’s a no fight zone!” You cowered in the corner,back pressed up against the opposite door and  arms crossed to make an ‘x’ sign in front of her body. 

“That is not how it works” Tom and Harry grinned from the open door. As fast as lightning they both vaulted in and started tickling you, making you screech curses at the two of them.

“Alright alright kids, no fighting while I’m driving thats an order.” Sian calmly spoke, trying to hide the laughter from her voice, as the two men retreated and helped to pull you up from the position half on the floor that your squirming had gotten you to. 

“Get off my leg Tom… arghhh… thanks Sian, I’m sorry they’re so moody, I just whipped their asses at golf”

“You’re here to make me feel better right? Not doing a good job so far” Tom’s snide remark meant you scrunched up your nose while plugging her seatbelt in, making sure to jab Tom’s side hard as you did so.

“How did I end up sandwiched in between you two twats then?” You grinned from the middle seat as Harry just rolled his eyes looking out the window, and Tom gave you a loving smile- not able to hide his relief of your presence.

“Think it’s about a 40 minute drive you gotta enjoy” Sian smiled looking at you via the rear view mirror, to which Tom couldn’t quite stifle the yawn that escaped. 

After all he had done much more than the typical 9-5 hours work, and the golfing was an unexpected addition to the already long day. His excitement and just pure joy at having you here had made him forget about It all for a couple of hours - but now his exhaustion was catching up with him with a vengeance. Instinctively you wrapped you arm round Tom and in doing so pulled him into your side. 

“Get some rest huh?” You whispered into his forehead, and all Tom could do was reply with a weary nod, letting his eyes slip close to the constant beat of Ally’s heart. You immediately sensed Tom was properly out of it, and contented yourself looking out his window for a few minutes,  before you felt something heavy briefly whack your other shoulder. Jumping a little at the contact, you looked round to see Harry’s head bobbing side to side in a light slumber. In the midst of worry for Tom, you hadn’t realised the kid had been doing the same long hours as him. Plus dealing with Tom and being Tom’s support, which surely took it out of him. Harry had always been ‘the most important brother’ in your eyes. Just because Tom trusts him so implicitly and completely, they had an understanding only real brothers could get to but also extended far beyond blood. When you’d first been introduced Harry had been colder to you. It wasn’t personal though, he just wanted to be sure on you and your intentions with Tom because as he well knew often when people saw Tom they didn’t just see an opportunity for love. It was an opportunity for a lifestyle, for fame, for relevance. Harry took a while before he trusted you but now you were miles and miles beyond that point. So now, being at a stage with Harry where he was phoning you to come and fly out to save Tom (and him too). It was not to be taken lightly.  Therefore, you gently pressed your hand to Harrys face and pushed him to lean against her other shoulder too- hoping to cure the dark circles under his eyes a little bit too. 

You were quite content for the rest of the journey, feeling warmth radiate through your body as the two men breathed deeply and calmly either side of you. You sort of didn’t want the car journeyer to end - but sure enough it wasn’t long till Sian was pulling into the hotel entrance.

“Get you a girl that can do both, beat yo ass at golf and look after your family” Sian whispered as she handed the phone back to you, after having taken some of your favourite ever photos, the 2 boys asleep on your shoulders while you pulled a variety of different faces. Smiling back at Sian, you then sighed-knowing she had to wake the two up, given their exhaustion you didn’t really want to either. 

“Boys…boys… hey let’s get you both into bed yeh?” You spoke softly, gently raising your shoulders in order to disturb them both. Harry’s head immediately shot up, his eyes puffy and half open, but a sheepish look on his face as he realised how he was sleeping. Just responding with a smile that said it was all okay, before  you turned her attention to Tom- forever stubborn to wake up, at least nothing had changed there. 

“Come on Tom, can’t have you sleeping in the car all night” You pushed again, this time lifting Tom’s head, earning a very deep groan as his eyes slid open and he pushed against the movement. It was at this point Harry slammed the car door shut, making Tom jump out of his skin, you loosing the hope of any serene wakeup call. Rubbing Toms arm, relaxing the tension now present in his body you encouraged him once again. “Come on lets get inside mister” 

His hotel room was exactly what you’d expect for an a-lister and lead actor in a million pound film. Large, modern, squeaky clean and posh. It was almost too big to be filled by one person though, Tom had always found it a bit cold and just not cosy - why he opted to spend the majority of his down time either fast alseep or in somebody else’s company. Both of those also stopped him getting too much in his head - or more accurately in his characters head. Cherry was a weird character and from interviewing all the veterans and lengthy discussion of his past, Tom almost felt as if he had in some small way experienced what Cherry had. Felt what Cherry did. Thought like Cherry did. 

And that was a sure fire way to fuck yourself up.

Now, with you here in his room haphazardly digging through your case, if felt warmer. The cold but brilliant white lights seemed to have softened to a gently warm glow that bounced off your skin and made your figure look almost angelic to Tom. You were his home. 

“What are you waiting for?” You mused while turning away from your (now) inside out suitcase, proudly carrying her pyjamas which you had found hidden at the bottom the whole time- not the most practical packing in the world. All the while Tom sat on his bed, back leaning against the headboard and arm bent behind his head too.

“Just thinking that I need to go through all the scenes for tomorrow” A monotonous tone laced his voice, for he knew he couldn’t spend the night the way he really wanted to, safely wrapped up with you.

“Oh… well let’s go through it together then hey? We will be done in no time; but if you want we can go over them again tomorrow morning.” It was a practical suggestion, a helpful action you could implement - even if you had a feeling Tom wouldn’t just agree. Since his lines clearly weren’t the only thing on his mind this evening. 

“Yeh but everyone on set is already sick of me after today… I can’t be being shit as well as horrid” his voice was small as the memory of how he snapped at some of the extras had him cringing inwardly at himself. He shouldn’t have been that rude, shouldn’t have blurted it out, should of offered a solution rather than just critiquing.

“Hey would you kindly shut it? No one is sick of you, everyone is just ready for christmas and missing their families. Now get changed” Your soft tone turning into an imperative order, as you threw his pyjama bottoms at the him, smashing into his face before falling into his lap.

“Oi” he shouted, but followed instructions and stood up reaching round to pull his hoodie off. Stood shirtless, his side was exposed to the now changed you, the sight making you gasp and clamber over the bed to gently touch Tom’s back. You followed the outline of an impressive patch of bruising, stretching from the bottom edge of his shoulder blade all the way to his hip. 

“Tom, what the hell happened?” Whispering in fear, Tom turned round to face you, seeing your eyes watering up as you kept glancing at his back. He was littered in a variety of purple, yellow and slightly green marks on the whole of his left flank. It looked like a minor crush injury, not something a pampered actor gets after a day of filming infront of tens of people including an onset medic and health and safety risk assessor. 

“What?” Tom asked before turning to the mirror and looking back over his shoulder to see the bruises for himself. He hadn’t expected the ache to look that bad. “oh - I - er… Today the scene, I get smashed to the floor by someone and I kept doing it wrong so we had to do it lots I guess.” He looked away and down at your feet, not being able to meet his girlfriends eyes suddenly. You just nodded, trying to blink back the tears-  he had truly been broken by this role both physically and now mentally- he hadn’t even put a stop to the constant and clearly severe pain. 

“Put your stuff on” your  voice was muted, as you waited for Tom to get prepared. He turned around again and then replaced his trousers and quickly pulled a top on to hide the marks, suddenly embarrassed. In the silence the sound of his clothes dropping to the floor, then of him sitting on the bed again- throwing his legs over so now he mirrored your position - the sounds were pretty defeaning.

“I love you so much….” Barely whispering, you suddenly ripped the duvet out from under you both holding it over you as you swung a leg over Tom so you straddled him, slightly leaning over him and letting the blanket rest on top of your back.In your position you looked down in an almost scary way to his warm brown eyes. Tom swore you were literally reading his thoughts, your intense gaze absolutely crumbling any walls he thought he’d be able to hold up. Pressing a gentle peck to his lips you then whispered onto his lips, letting him feel your words as well as hear them. “ …So that’s why we are going to sleep right now and you can worry about all of that tomorrow”

“Y/n I-“

“Your safe with me.” You were not standing for his nexuses and arguments, as you slid down his body - ending with your head resting on his chest, you legs tangled with his. Once you’re properly rested you’ll learn them ten times faster than what you can now… Before you get ill I am telling you to take a break. I’m not going to let you not. So relax and-….Tom?” Ending with a whisper, you delicately lifted your head off his slowly rising chest to see your broken boyfriend already asleep; lips parted as soft snores crept through the silence. In reality as soon as you’d said that he was safe the exhaustion had completely over taken him. Desperately needing to recharge his batteries, no matter how much he had wanted to stay up and work late it could never really happen - at this point physically impossible.

“Sleep well Tom” she smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek with a sad smile.

///////////////////////////////////////////

The next day rolled around all too quickly, but the morning was much better than any of the past couple of months because you were together. Tom, having had a solid 7 hours of sleep compared to his normal 5, was for once ready for the day. He’d gone through the script with a certain someones help in record time, and now the three were just pulling up at the set. 

“You’ve been awful quiet this car ride…” you grinned as she clasped Tom’s hand across the empty seat, making Harry turn around and give you a warning glance. Oops. In a moment where Tom went to the loo at breakfast, Harry had fully disclosed everything that had happened on set yesterday- especially the  burst of anger. So naturally, Tom was feeling nervous and scared to face everyone. 

“It will be fine I promise… and if not tell them I’m your personal body guard- no one will be rude to you if me and Harry are ready to attack” Tom let out a breathy nervous laugh, only then meeting your eyes.

“ A fly wouldn’t be threatened by you two. Harry would just take a photo while you’d check their pulse or something”

“Errrm” Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he contorted round from the front seat so Tom could see his disapproving look, meanwhile Tom was dodging your affectionate fake-slaps.

“Children we’re here” Sian sighed as she brought the car to a steady halt “and if you could get through the day without killing each other I’d appreciate it, otherwise I’m out of the job”

“Not promising anything when I’ve got these pair to deal with” Tom grinned as he opened the car door, before anyone else could retaliate.You laughed before quickly following suit, joining Tom at the front of the car and interlocking your fingers with Tom’s. Hesitating for a moment Harry took a second before unplugging and leaning for the door handle.

“You see what I mean?” Turning his head to look at Sian “It’s sickening how happy they are.”

“Yeh but your glad about it don’t lie” she grinned, before practically shooing the poor boy out her car.

“But dont tell them!” Shouting in reply, as the car was already pulling out. 

Tom’s body seemed to tense more the closer you walked to the crew tent, you could feel the way he squeezed his shoulders back and his jaw tensed and untensed. There was little you could do apart from squeezing his hand that little bit tighter - further reiterating the fact you would always always be in his corner. Perhaps the most telling about Tom’s own character was how truly guilty he felt for the way he was with the crew. Normally, he was one of the most down to earth actors around - no trace of an ego or superiority complex. It didn’t matter if you were a cleaner or head of a multimillion dollar studio, Tom would pay both the same amount of respect. He always out that completely down to his upbringing and mum and dad, but even that was being humble. He was just a good person to the core, no one saw that more than you either. It’s part of love, you see the good and the bad parts of a person and promise to unashamedly love them all. 

Just before you both had made it into the main tent, Tom was pulled away. “Oh Tom we wanted to talk to you about yesterday!” The familiar voice of Joe Russo called, as he and Anthony  ran up to Tom from his left, giving a little nod of greeting to the actor, before falling in step with him.

“Morning, I-uh I wanted to apologise actually-“Tom was cut off while you hung back off to his right, not wanting to intrude on this conversation.

“No we should. The team were all being slow yesterday, and they were making some hard scenes harder on you. We really appreciate what you are putting yourself through for the sake of the film.”

“But still I acted like a brat and I’m sorry”

“Tom” Anthony spoke up for the first time. He was a man of limited words- but whenever he spoke everyone listened. “ You are one of the best, most-dedicated actors we’ve ever worked with. We’re all overtired, run down and ready for the holidays. You’re missing your family too. It’s already forgotten… So let’s just get on with the movie?” Tom smiled, pressing his lips together to stop their kindness overtaking his emotions. Tom always felt safe with the Russo’s. They’d dealt with him when he really just was a kid actor - overwhelmed and without a clue what was happening. They’d dealt with hiM adjusting to fame and the much bigger part Marvel seemed to want him to play in the future. They trusted him with this, most incredibly complex and also personal film for them. So when they spoke and they said it didn’t matter, Tom was much more likely to agree.  Then proceeded the bro-hugs, as the men all showed they were good with each other. 

“Well lets make a motherfucking movie!” Tom exclaimed once they broke the hug and the brothers laughed at him. “Oh where-d….” He muttered as he looked round before meeting your eyes, still standing rather awkwardly a couple of meters behind them. “ Joe, Anthony you remember Y/n?” Nodding and smiling the brothers beckoned you over; both greeting you with a warm handshake. 

“Good to see you again!” You grinned and the directors responded nodding.

“We didn’t know you were coming! I would’ve made a list of all my doctor question for you.” Joe winked, knowing your pet-peeve was people asking you all their gory body questions as soon as they found out she was a doctor. You didn’t need to know about you dentists acid reflux issue, you didn’t need to know about your granny’s friend’s constipation, and you really really didn’t need to know about an old friends erectile dysfunction.

“Ha ha ha “ You rolled your eyes sarcastically “ and no it was a bit of a spontaneous trip, I just landed last night.” Throughout the whole of the exchange Anthony had taken an aloof stance, just  observing you and Tom. Observing the bright smile Tom gave you, even when you were simply making small talk. The way he looked so much healthier, well rested and just happy, in the space of a single evening.

“I’m glad you’re here” Anthony basically interrupted the conversation, addressing you then immediately turning on his heel towards the set. 

“Uhh right- get to make up we’ll call a cast meeting in a bit” Joe stammered, giving his brother a funny look before addressing Tom “ and we’ll have to have a proper catch up later.” You nodded in response, as Joe turned and did a half jog to catch up with his brother. 

“That was weird!?” You frowned as you looked up at Tom. He explained the encounter in rather simplistic terms.

“That was Anthony.”

The morning was spent with Tom doing what he does best in front of the camera. They were shooting a larger scene for the army section of the movie, with at least 100 actual soldiers as extras, all geared up in full camo outfits. It was impressive, but also gave you a chance to meet Ciara - you’d been dying to meet her since Tom told you what a laugh she was. Fair to say you weren’t disappointed at all, you guys hitting it off instantly and you going as far as giving Ciara some embarrassing Tom stories that she could wind him up with in the future. Of course though, the main attraction was seeing Tom act first hand. Every time it astounded you, even though you knew that face so completely, in all his movies he fully had you believing he was someone else. It was mesmerising and you couldn’t be any prouder. 

“You’re amazing! I seriously forgot how good you are!” You ran over as Joe Russo called cut to the end of the morning shoot. 

“Well er thanks I guess” Tom furrowed his eyebrows as you wrapped him in a hug. He’d just canned a pretty hard scene and everyone was more than ready for a lunch break. You’s been watching from behind the cameras with Harry the whole time, after Tom gave you permission to sit in his special set chair.

“Seriously I’m very…. “ Her speech broken with an impressive yawn “….very proud of you.” In thanks Tom gave you a kiss first to your nose and then lips. 

“I take it someones not adapting to jet lag?” He chuckled as he pulled away and cupped your face in his hands.

“Which I’m totally ashamed about considering I work night shifts… my body clocks supposed to be better than this” Angrily, you vented, frustrated at your own body when all you wanted to do was stays within reaching distance of Tom. Even if Tom had had the best sleep of this whole shoot last night, you’d been to over excited and enthralled just absorbing every little thing about him that you’d missed so much that you’d been wide awake the majority of the night. If you blamed you fatigue on jet lag alone, it would be an impressive lie. 

“Go take a nap in my trailer… Harry can you take her?”

“Yes master” Harry bowed down and wobbled his head sarcastically, making you giggle. 

“At least this way you get a break from him” You grinned to Tom’s brother, which Harry could only agree with. Giving Tom a parting kiss , you followed Harry away from set. It was at this point that Anthony excused himself from the monitors reviewing the footage, and approached Tom.

“Kid… that was great that scene.”

“Thanks mate, means a lot” Getting his directors approval forever reassured Tom, letting him relax his shoulders a bit as he nodded gratefully to Anthony. 

“Well it’s just truth… so your girlfriend, Y/n right?”

“Yeh that’s her” Tom nodded, suddenly a little concerned as to where Anthony was going with this. You had met the Russo’s a number of times, and it never before seemed as though Anthony had an issue with you- at least to Tom’s knowledge.

“Right well um… you know how I don’t really get involved in all this stuff…” Tom nodded, folding his arms apprehensively. “But I just thought I should say that she’s really good for you.” Tom silently breathed a sigh of relief and waited for Anthony to get to the point. “Joe told me you had a rough patch at the beginning of the year so… I don’t know our industry is hard. And harder for you and her in the spotlight… Just seeing you with her today…Don’t be afraid to take the next steps with her…Don’t let her get away.” Tom was stunned to say the least. Anthony is the last person he had ever expected to get relationship advice from. 

“I um yeh… I don’t know I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean we’ve been together for 2 and a bit years, well including the break… she means the world to me-“

“Well don’t waste it”

And that was the end of the conversation. Anthony turned to his trailer to get lunch and Tom just stood, replaying the conversation in his head. Weird to say the least. 

But it did get the cogs turning. It did get Tom really seriously considering his future. Or rather considering your future together.

And that was for certain. It was you and him, always. 

[nichoberri]

dance, baby! | prince!niki au

requested

pairing- niki x gender neutral reader (there is a mention of a dress, but anyone can wear dresses, not just girls, sooo yeah)

genre- fluff, angst if you zoom in with a microscope, forbidden love

warnings- literally one swear word (if that counts lmao)

word count- 1.5k

a/n- correct me if i’m wrong, but this is the best piece of writing i have ever done, probably because i spent a bunch of time on it. i feel really proud of this au, so it would be very very very appreciated if you gave it some love🥺😘 -issy❤️

mellifluous sounds from the string orchestra rose in volume, from a soft murmur up to a clarion call, which seemed to penetrate every nook and cranny of the Ume Kingdom; the ball was about to begin.

for palace servants like you, the annual new year’s ball is a taxing and mind-numbing event. the truth of the matter is that you had to rush from handing out drinks, to taking guests’ overcoats, to then clean up after everybody, all the while being treated like shit by most attendees. however, there was an upside; you were actually allowed to wear A GOWN this year. the dress appeared to gleam every time the dazzling lights of the ballroom caught it, and it’s blush pink satin with intricate gold detailing soft to the touch. although you felt gorgeous in your new getup, the wisps of hair falling from your updo due to the labours of your work, got on your nerves nearly as much as the pompous guests and the clanging music that hurt your overworked brain. after about two and a half hours of attending to the royal family and their acquaintances, you finally found a slot of time to stand and take in the jovial atmosphere of the party. weeeeell that was until you felt a faint tap on your shoulder….

now, the beloved prince niki was on the opposite end of the ballroom to you at the start of the ball, where he had to interact with all of his parents’ ‘friends’ (more like people they can use to boost the status of their kingdom). these tight-lipped exchanges usually surrounded the topic of arranged marriages, as an irritated niki had to listen to a plethora of noblemen’s daughters blether away about how great they were. all the poor boy wanted to do was let loose a bit and dance, but he knew he’d get severely scolded by his parents. you see, rumours circulated (very true rumours in fact) that niki had a passion for dancing and would always be seen leaping down the grand palace halls- giving him the immensely unfortunate sobriquet, ‘the pirouetting prince’. when he eventually escaped the clutches of the desperate and power-hungry party-goers, niki sprinted with superhuman speed to a secluded corner of the room. that’s when he laid eyes on you; not for the first time though. in actuality, you and niki had established an unexpected bond, which had started when you were mopping the floors of the palace’s spacious corridors and happened to trip right onto niki’s patent leather shoes. you thought he was going to yell at you, just as any other member of the royal family would, yet the kid only started howling with laughter. you were utterly shocked by his easygoing behaviour, mainly because you always thought that he purported the same air of regality as his strong headed parents, even at such a young age. nevertheless, that’s how your friendship, aaaand maybe some other feelings blossomed. this led to secret conversations away from the prying and disapproving eyes of the other staff, the monarch, and his wife. sometimes you two would sneak out of the palace to go on late night adventures in the city, strolling along the cherry blossom avenues, too engrossed in your own little world to care about anything else.

all of the air left niki’s lungs as soon as he saw your ethereal figure in the distance. even though your hairdo was as good as ruined, you had sweat lining your brow and your resting bitch face was at its highest level of ‘i want to die and i also want all of you to die’, he thought you exuded the most magnificent energy in the room. even the classical music, which honestly constantly ground on his gears sounded marvellous when he looked upon you. so he bounded over to you like a puppy to their favourite human, and lightly patted your shoulder.

you pivoted around when you felt the tap on your shoulder, and was faced with a dashing prince niki. a deep blush immediately tainted your cheeks and crept down your neck, at the realisation that niki was talking to you in public.

“h-hey prince niki, do you require my service?,” you stuttered.

“uhhhh yeah i do require your service,” he mocked your politeness, “i require you to come and dance with me. what’s with the formalities all of a sudden?”

“well i didn’t expect you to come and talk to me with all these people around; you know that your parents don’t like that we’re friends.” in fact, the king and queen despised that he was friends with a lowly, working-class servant like you.

“anyways, i can’t dance with you, i have a job to do unlike you,” you continued with a hint of jealous spite in your voice.

niki shot back with nonchalance as he grabbed your wrist and tugged you along behind him, “well i’m the prince, the future ruler of the Ume Kingdom, so what i say goes, which means you’re going to put that tray down and dance with me.”

and that was that.

gracefully, you and niki almost floated around the dance floor in time to the bounding waltz that enriched your ears. what you failed to notice as the both of you stared into each other’s love struck orbs, was the king muttering to his guards, commanding them to separate his son from you. it was a good thing that niki detected the shifty and brisk movements of the palace guards just in time to instruct you to run. swiftly, the pair of you manoeuvred through the swarm of people, bolted into the vast, luscious gardens and made your way to the centre of the hedge maze, built on the wishes of a five year old niki many moons ago.

when you reached the middle of the colossal maze, you both fell onto a marble bench, catching your breaths as though you had ran a marathon. finally, your heart rate decreased and you turned to face niki, who was already observing your every move, “niki, when they find us, i am soooo going to get fired, maybe even exiled. i’m terrified of losing you at the best of times, never mind us being caught interacting right in front of a bevy of your female suitors!”

“yeah i’m scared too, but even though i’m afraid, i strongly believe that we should do our best with the situation; let’s just try. it should be obvious by now that i like you, i like you a lot, so i think that we should change their outdated attitudes on the relationship between stupid social class and love,” niki declared with conviction.

“i like you a whole lot too, but it’s not that easy. maybe your parents are right to judge, i’m just a poor scullery maid, who has no parents and nothing to offer,” you replied dejectedly.

“listen to me y/n, you are the most fair and precious person i have ever laid eyes on. you are intellectual, generous and you have the best sense of humour that even the jesters are jealous of-”

“wait- are you calling me a clown?” you teased.

“n-no i didn’t mean it like that. i told you to just listen didn’t i? i’m not finished. you’re eyes hold the andromeda within them, you’re lips outshine the loveliness of the roses in these very gardens and the brightness of your cheek would shame those stars up there.”

the poetic words that spouted from the boy in front of you brought a tear to your glittering eyes. no words could leave your mouth, too choked up to utter a word, so you engulfed him in the warmest hug niki had ever experienced and smashed your pouty lips onto his porcelain cheek. that was confirmation enough of your feelings towards niki. even so, he whispered words of comforting optimism into your fluffy hair, “we don’t need the approval of anyone, we should be able to run for our hearts, run for our lives, run for our dreams.” he paused to press a tiny kiss to the crown of your head, but continued with all the solemnity he could muster, “we can make this work, we will make this work.”

so as the new year materialised into view, the young lovers could be seen under the pale moonlight and twinkling constellations, huddling close to avoid the light pinches of the winter zephyr and dreaming of their future together.

[thehoneybeast]

Reconnecting

Ok sooo.. I have been a little obsessed with this great show and had the inspiration to write and actually finish! a fanfiction because apparently I am n love with a stupid cartoon monkey called Hugo.. so here we go! Maybe some find a little joy in this.

Warnings: mention of death, maybe trauma, stupidly dramatic

Pairing: Hugo/Scarlemange x Reader because why not

Okay a little rant from me first. Spoiler! I couldn't just accept that Hugo dies at the end of the series so I had to come up with a stupid way in which we could save him. This came from the same storyline in which he wouldn't die. If my motivation is big enough, I might continue this, but for now this is all I have. Also, the story is a little straight forward, no gentle start or anything. Enjoy!

He smelled the sweat on your skin, mixed with the earthy note of dirt before he recognised your own scent underneath. He let go, held your head between his hands and smiled widely. Your hair was a mess, dull and mixed with leaves but it held the same beautiful colour that he remembered you with. Your eyes stared at him with confused happiness and he felt his heartbeat quicken. It had taken  him  years to find you, to finally see you again. You had grown, your features had become more firm and you were confronted with the same sense of astonishment as him. Last time you had stood in front of Hugo, he had been the same hight as you. He always looked a little shy with his rather small frame. Now you stood in front of a mandrill the size of a gorilla, his shoulders broad and hidden underneath a fancy costume of the old France. You could feel the enormous strength in his arms as he held you, the intimidating strength of a mute.However, you couldn't comprehend the fact, that he was alive. After what felt like forever, you finally found a known face and one that you held a special place for in your heart. It brought tears to your eyes, which caused his grin to falter, instantly letting go of your head. "Are you hurt?" the question came out quiet as he let his eyes search your body for any signs of a wound but you just shook your head smiling, wiping your tears away. "I'm so happy to see you are alive-" was all you could say, before a wave of emotions hit you and you let your head sink, ashamed of causing a scene, but he just went to embrace you yet again. "No need to shed tears, you are save now." His words were quiet, just loud enough for you to hear. "Nothing will hurt you as long as you stay with me." You held each other, enjoying the familiar company. When he let go this time, he made a few steps back suddenly filled with energy, spreading his arms. "You are now part of my kingdom! Everyone will know not to touch you, unless they wish to face the strength of my army! " he announced, proudly taking in the view of the humans behind you. He felt his heart flutter as you watched him with big, beautiful eyes.It brought him on a high he hadn't experienced in a long time. He turned around and motioned for you to follow him before he stalked ahead. "Let me show you around!" he more or less ordered and you needed a second to get of the ground and hurry after him. While rushing to his side you couldn't help but notice the people behind you. You didn't recognise them because of their masks but you felt something was off about them. He tangled his arm with yours as soon as you reached him, grinning and leading you through his place. It was way bigger than you would have imagined, overgrown by nature in many places while still holding a sense of luxury. You understood immediately why he had chosen to stay. He was obviously proud of his home and trying to impress you. He had to slow down a little for you to appreciate what he was showing you and it took him a little self control. You were overwhelmed by the new surroundings and even more by him. It was odd seeing your sweet and gentle childhood friend so very proud and outgoing. You felt a little arrogance in the way he acted but you didn't really care for now. Just being around him made you feel younger and filled you with more energy than you had have since the breakdown of the borrow. It was good to see him healthy and all grown up and you really embraced the warmth which whom he met you. His enthusiasm was infectious and while he was rambling about the great meaning behind paintings and decorations, you listened with wide eyes, completely forgetting about your confused feelings and the rush of fear that you had experienced before you had recognised each other. You didn't think of questioning anything over your joy, until you reentered the great hall you started from. He lead you to his grant piano which was placed on  a platform in the middle of the room and as he talked about the music he adored, your gaze shifted trough the room, coming to a halt at the group of humans standing perfectly still. You tilted your head irritated. "What's the deal with them?" You asked Hugo who had paid no mind to your audience. You realised that you didn't really ask yourself why none of them had introduced themselves or even bothered to say anything when you were brought in or after that. Were they even real beings? "They're my peasants." He answered nonchalantly sitting down, starting to play a walz on his piano. You looked at him in confusion, wanted to ask him where they came from, what was going on but as he snapped his fingers, you began to understand. To your horror, the motionless people started to dance. They didn't speak, they didn't laugh or sway mindlessly, they danced as if hanging on strings, as if programmed just to dance. Hugo laughed while you could only stare, slowly processing what was going on. You remembered why they had kept him in a cage back then. You remembered when your father had told you to stay away. It was his sweat. That hypnotic influence it had on primates. You felt your heart drop to your stomach, the easy feeling of home coming disappearing behind the maniacal laughter of your friend. There was nothing odd about the humans dancing in front of you, it was Hugo. He had changed more drastically than you could ever have imagined. He continued his play joyfully, not taking notice of your uneasy expression until you carefully put your hand on his, stopping his movements. Confused and angry he glared at you before he saw the way you looked at him. You tried to smile, suddenly scared of angering him. "You play beautifully, but please don't make them dance." Your voice was gentle but he must have heard the trembling underneath. His grin grew back, this time more evil than welcoming. "Oh you don't have to pity them. This is one of the only things they're good for anyways." You didn't know what to say. There was hatred in his eyes and you bit your lip nervously, looking back and forth between him and the people. His hands were still hovering over the keys of his instrument, his gaze fixed on you, waiting for a reaction. "Please don't-" was all you could mutter before he turned to the people and waved one of them to step closer. Hugo watched with amusement as the man walked over, a wide and unsettling smile on his face. He enjoyed it. When the stranger arrived Hugo snapped his fingers again and the poor guy started to uncontrollable stepdance. You made a step back, feeling sick watching him. "You don't have to worry, you are my guest. As long as you follow my orders willingly,  there is no need for this." He motioned at the man his voice filled with pride and authority. You stared at him. Your breath became short and your heartbeat fastened. He watched his peasant do as he pleased. He didn't know why he had felt the need to demonstrate you his ways, after all you had never made any attempt of running yet, but as soon as he had seen your curiosity for the other humans, he had felt anger. You had been separated for so long, he didn't know you anymore. Maybe you had never missed him, maybe even forgotten him until now, maybe you had even become like them. There was jealousy in his veins but he chose to not let you see that. After all, who knew what your motivation was at this point. It wouldn't hurt to show you, who was in control. Better to introduce you to his new world in a way that you wouldn't dare to question him. When he turned to you again you had brought quite a distance between the both of you, your body reacting to the fear rushing trough your bones. You had lived quite some time out there, all alone. Your instincts had saved you most of the time but you felt your scars tingle as they reminded you of the times it had not. He could do the same to you. You felt hatred crawl into your eyes and run over your cheeks. The hate wasn't directed onto him but rather onto the entire world. This world had made him like this. Your heart ached, wondering what had scarred him so deeply that he felt the need to put others under his control. You realised, that he had most likely wanted to put you under his spell as well until he had recognised you. Hugo, or what he would soon teach you to call him, Scarlemange, watched the war behind your eyes. He managed to look unscathed on the outside while inside he was slightly scared of the decision you would come to. He wouldn't let you leave, he couldn't loose sight of you again. Part of him regretted his little show but he reminded himself, that he could not just trust you to know your place. He wouldn't put you with the rest of them, maybe even let you wander around once he trusted you enough to not try and flee. He yearned for your acceptance of the situation so he could try and rebuild the connection the two of you had shared so many yeara ago. You wiped the remains of your tears of stress away with the hem of your dirty clothes and he instantly wished that you hadn't. It made you look more like a dirty dog and he only realised now how wore down you were. You had been a little chubby as a child, not overweight but a healthy amount of flesh on your bones. It occurred to him, that you might have had to fight for food, maybe falling asleep hungry sometimes. Over all, your body looked strained, he could see muscles under your skin but also bone where he didn't want to see it. He felt himself getting softer by watching you, now more alert than you had been before. "How about something to eat? If you're done throwing a tantrum. " His voice was weaker than he had intended it to be, but he couldn't help himself but worry about you. Of course you weren't allowed to know about that, after all you could use it to your advantage. Your shoulders were stiff your eyes narrowed, trying to see the intention in his eyes. It was sad how quickly the atmosphere around the two of you had changed. It now seemed like a short dream where things had been how they used to be. The reality had hit you hard and brought your mind back into a state of survival. You stood a few feet away from the monkey, meeting his glare unimpressed. "Well?" he tried again, his tone now harsher and more demanding for an answer. You sighed heavily before nodding  scared that your voice might break if you tried to speak. He smiled grimly offering you with a gesture to walk beside him. Of course it wasn't really an offer and rather a demand. You looked up at him more disappointed than angry and let him lead you to the other hall where you had come along the giant table. You felt naive for hoping he would be the same and you struggled to decide whether it made you want to leave or stay. He clearly had lived through something that made him like this but you weren't sure if you had the strength to put up with his very dangerous new side in order to help him find back to a healthier view on the world. You had been through quite a lot yourself and thought it unfair that you would have to suppress your own happiness and safety for his sake. So far he hadn't put you in too much of an inconvenience but rather just scared or threatened you. To your surprise he didn't lead you to the dining room but made his way up the stairs to the second floor. It occurred to you, that you could probably run from him, try to escape but you decided that if you were going to do it he shouldn't be expecting it, what he was surely doing at the moment. Instead you followed him slowly,  taking in the view of the room while getting higher. Your hands slid carefully over the old wooden stairhandle and you noticed a bitter feeling of hope in your heart when you turned your head in Hugos direction. He was waiting at the end of the stairs and smiled. It was almost charming if you just could have brought yourself to forget what just had happened. "You will change before we eat. I will not have you smelling like a wild animal while dining." He didn't leave room for an argument but you didn't feel like you had the strength for that anyway. "There is a bathtub in there, ready to be used. It was meant for me but you can have it. Clothes will be brought in when you're done." He already headed off, leaving you in the doorway of a lightly lit room which was filled with the smell of flowers. "I hope you don't expect me to wear something like you..?" You asked, facing the big old bath but he was already back on the stairs throwing you a confident grin before he stalked away while you slowly entered the bathroom. A warm bath sounded rather appealing and would maybe help you relax again. The water was hot, a comforting feeling on your skin and even though you couldn't stop feeling sad about your experience with Hugo, you did enjoy the feeling of the dirt getting of your skin. You washed your hair, your face and looked carefully at yourself when you were done. There were scars you didn't recognise and others which causes you would never forget. There was a big towel hanging at the wall, big red and fluffy and you curled yourself up in it. A content sigh passed your lips when you sat down on one of the puff chairs which stood around the room. You didn't want to face him again. Not when he had become like a possessive tyrant. You burried your head under the towel and thought back to a better time. A safer time. You jumped slightly when the door opened before a big wooden box was pushed into the room and the door closed again before you could see who had brought it in. You stared a few moments, debating whether you should play along or not. Sighing yet again, you slowly walked over and lifted the top so you could take a look at the the fabric inside. Of course he hadn't brought you normal, simple clothes. No, it had to be the same old school fashion that him and his 'peasants' were dressed in. You rummaged through the box on the search for something more comfortable than that and found a rather normal looking leggings with ruffles on the outside but decided it was good enough. For your upper body you took one of the white dress shirts two or three sizes too big so that it would hang loosely over you chest. As happy as you could be with your outfit you walked over to the mirror again and took in your form. Your scars were hidden, your hair clean and after you had found a brush and forced it into a more presentable look, you were surprised how good it felt to feel like a human again. The door was opened again, this time all the way and a gorilla peeked inside his hand covering his eyes while he asked in a deep voice: "If you're dressed, please come outside. Scarlemange awaits you. " You frowned hearing that name. You had nearly forgotten who it was you were brought to. Not Hugo, whom you had mistaken him for but the monster you had heard many mutants talk about. After debating with yourself if you should insist on calling him Hugo, you made the decision that it wouldn't bring you anything good to be stubborn right now. So instead you answered with a gentle "I'm coming!" and followed the gorilla out the door. He brought you to the Hall as expected and upon seeing the giant table, now with plates of fruits and fancy dishes, you felt your body scream for food. Hardly keeping yourself from rushing over to eat with your bare hands, the gorilla seated you on the other side of the long wooden table so now you were facing Hu- no, Scarlemange a few feet away. You could see his eyebrows narrow as he took in your new look. "You could've picked something fancier." He scolded loudly to reach your ears over the distance but you just shrugged your shoulders. "I didn't feel like dressing up. Comfortable is better than pretty." You answered nonchalantly, trying not to stare at the meals in front of you. Scarlemange noticed the hunger in your eyes and laughed slightly to himself. "Please, be my guest and treat yourself." He motioned over the table and that was all the invitation you needed. You devoured every bite you took, enjoying the feeling of your stomach being filled to the brim. When you were done, your belly hurt a little but you felt happy and content. Sighing you leaned against the back of your chair. Scarlemange, who was used to eat regularly, took his time, eating with elegance and you couldn't help but smile over the way he was so serious about looking pretty while eating. You had grown a little tired but also braver. Deciding that you didn't want to scream for him to hear you, you eased out of your chair and made your way over to his end of the table. He stopped in his movement watching you through squinted eyes. You reached the chair to his left, pulled it out and sat down, smiling sheepishly at him. "So now you aren't scared of me anymore?" he asked bitterly and you rested your head on your hand, still looking at him. "Surely you understand why I am a little cautious after your little show off with that man. You did it to scare me, didn't you? But you are rather nice to me. You let me clean myself, you feed me. You also tried to intimidate me. I'm not quite sure what you want with me, but I'm willing to give you your time to express it." He raised his eyebrows unimpressed and continued eating while you watched him closely. He had earned some scars himself. Tho they made his colourful face even more interesting. You hummed to yourself as you took your time taking each of them in, wondering what may have caused them. He looked older, more masculine. "You've become rather handsome." It left your mouth without intention and as you noticed what you had said, heat crawled into your cheeks. To your surprise he just laughed evily and glared at you. "What, do you think flattery will make it easier for you to fool me?" There was mistrust and anger in his eyes and you realised that he didn't believe you, which frustrated you. "Nah, I think a poor peasant like me couldn't fool a majesty like you, since you are oh so great and scary!" You huffed angrily. Your anger reflected in his eyes and you took a deep breath, trying to calm the situation. "Seriously. Even though I don't like these clothes on me, they do look good on you. It fits the colour of your fur." He just stared at you, now more confused than angry, which made you continue. "You found your theme and it compliments your personality. I'm just being honest here." You saw his look shifting uneasy and knew that you had flattered him, probably the first to do so in a long time. Maybe now he would answer some questions. "Look Scarlemange, I don't know what happened. I'm pretty sure you don't want to tell me so I'll leave it alone. But I will not just sit and wait, so please do tell me what you are planning to do with me. Am I your prisoner? Your pet? Will you kick me out when you are bored by me? I just want to know what to expect. " For a moment he was quiet. He put his dish aside, keeping his eyes on you, his glare unbroken. "You are a human. You belong to me. I will not let you leave." That was what you had expected but it made you shiver, once he had said it out loud. "However," he continued in a generous tone, ignoring your nervous gulp, "you have the privilege of good memories being connected to you so I will give you the chance of earning the right to keep your own will, just like I told you before. Don't misbehave. Don't betray me or you are going to join the others of your kind in serving me." His tone was firm and emotionless. He wanted to stand up but you stopped him. Your grip wasn't harsh but he stopped in his movements. He wasn't angry with you this time, just wanted for you to say what you had to. "I understand that." You looked down at your hand now covering his and had to fight the urge of getting too upset. "But you get that it is a lot to ask to just demand that I stay here, right? You treat this as if it should be obvious when I have hardly even told you how I feel about it. This has been a very onesided interaction so far and as much as I am happy to see you, we can't go back to being friends if you're not willing to listen as well. You changed your name, your personality. I as well have nice memories of us two playing silly games and spending our time with each other, but the way we lived then was different. Our world was different. We changed a lot. You are not the shy little body I had befriended back than and neither am I the stupid little child." You raised your gaze, afraid  of his reaction but he didn't seem upset yet. Instead he took his hand back from yours and talked in a voice like he was teaching a child. "You are right, we lived in another world back than." Now he raised from his chair entirely, walked a few steps and turned his back to you, locking his hands behind his back. "I realised that the world wasn't as we saw it. I had to wake up from that fantasy world of a 'family' and did what helped me survive in the real world." His voice had become spiteful and you felt pain in the words he said. You felt you chest tighten and stood up as well. "Yes, this world is scarier than in the burrow." You interrupted "I had to face that fact as well when the burrow was gone. The life on the surface is hard. It left it's scars on me too." He looked over his shoulder at you, doubt and mistrust in his eyes. " Why did you leave the new place then? If you think the surface is so scary, why come out? To explore it? Are you telling me you had no choice? Do you think I am that stupid?"He stopped in his rant when he saw your eyes go wide. "New..New home? What are you talking about?" He saw genuine shock in your eyes and he was taken a little aback by that. "The place you flet to? The place you all took of to when the burrow broke down?!" There was a heavy silence between the two of you before you could talk again. "So.. That is why I never found anyone after that. I thought-" you stopped yourself sinking back into your chair. Scarlemange squinted his eyes watching you, trying to decide whether you were lying or not. Your performance was pretty believable. "Why would they leave you behind?" he questioned and your heart ached thinking back to that day. You didn't have anyone to talk to about what happened that day so you chose to push it into the back of your head, ready to be forgotten. The trauma would have prevented you from surviving, you didn't have the room for a breakdown when you had to be on guard all the time. But now someone wanted to know, someone knew what had happened and the memories flooded back. You burried your face in your hands, shaking it, trying to stop the emotions from overrunning   you. It had been suppressed for so long. Scarlemanges face softened, seeing you react so emotionally. Maybe you were telling the truth. He came closer, not really knowing how to calm you down but also wanting to know. "Please, tell me what happened. " His voice was gentle and more quite than before while he slowly placed a hand on your back. Your words were small, chaotic and he had trouble understanding what you said. "The day the burrow broke down..My father- He was hit by the collapsing roof... The bricks burried him underneath them and he... He was still alive. I couldn't reach him.. Everyone rushed to leave, they were all in panic.." You paused to take some heavy breaths and he felt your body beginning to shake. "I couldn't leave him.. Some tried make me leave with them but... I stayed with him for two days until.. Until he stopped answering me-" You hick uped and your throat was too thick to continue. Images of the chaos flashed into your inner view and the sickening screams of your father. Your whole body started to stiffen up and when Scarl reached over your shoulders for comfort, you turned and clung to him for dear life, crying heavily into his shoulder.There you were again, hugging him, now out of grief instead of joy. He didn't know what to do so he just let your small frame cling to him, carefully wrapping his arms around you. He could only listen to half of your story, though he felt that the rest was rather easy to guess. You had stayed behind for your father and once he was dead you had been left alone with nowhere to go. Even if they had noticed you missing, they most likely assumed that you had been killed like your father. No one would have risked it to come back and search for someone presumed dead. He felt guilt for having brought back those memories and anger as he realised that you as well had been left behind. You must have felt even more lost and scared than him, he at least had been somewhat capable of defending himself. He vowed to himself to try and trust you a little more, especially now that you shown yourself so vulnerable to him. It was the first time that He had embraced someone since his life in the burrow and the fact that it was you filled him with gratitude. Maybe there was a chance for a new friendship between the two of you. If only you were going to understand that he was in control. After all, Hugo was no more. He kept you in his arms until your body started to calm down. The shaking disappeared and your breathing softened. As he looked at your face he saw your red puffy eyes and nose, tears still running down your cheeks. It made his heart ached that you searched for comfort in him and he tried to accept the fact that he wouldn't be scaring you any more. You looked much more exhausted and weak than when you had entered his home this morning and he felt a biting feeling that it was partly his fault. He decided that you had been through enough for today. Not saying a word he heaved you into his arms bridal style and passed through the dining room, up the stairs and to the end of the hallway where his bedroom was. When his servants, the mutated ones, looked at him questioningly, he motioned for them to leave. You didn't move much, your head was hurting and everything felt dull and heavy. Only the heartbeat against your ear and the warmth of his body gave you comfort and when he moved to lay you down and leave you whined like a child. He had put you down onto his king sized bed with comfortable red sheets. "I think you deserve some rest, don't you think?" His eyes were back to the way they had been when he first recognised you. There was no fear, anger or mistrust, only worry and warmth. You reached out for him, taking his hand and pulling it in. It felt mesmerising to be wanted by your side but he looked at You uncertain. "Are you sure? I take up a bit of space." The grin on his face was gentle and you felt a piece of hope return to your heart when you nodded. "I don't want to be alone. I think I have enough of that for quite some time " your smile was sad and your eyelids felt incredibly heavy. He gently pulled the blanket up to your neck and walked to the other side of the bed. He thought back to the Times you two had have sleepovers where you would stay in his little room when your father would allow it. It were some of his most treasured memories, innocent and pure. To think that he could relive them someday was incomprehensible to him. When he layed down you were already at his side again, having turned around under the sheets and cuddled up to him, your body heat welcoming him under the sheets. He felt blood rush to his face and he was glad that your eyes were closed while he returned the embrace once again. No, he wasn't reliving memories, this was different. There was something new within him and he realised that maybe, just maybe he didn't only want a friendship anymore. He listened to your peaceful breathing and found himself relax in your arms, a feeling of comfort and home that he hadn't experienced in a long time.