#I just put them like that cause it kinda feels linear

[sketchy-mf]

I tried drawing silly teeth man for the first time, I started tweaking

Also funny interaction I had with @owly-lumi while on discord call (They gave me permission to use the png of their drawing)

[carry-the-sky]

go spin the wheel, see where it lands—

Here's the thing about time: it's always running out. He felt it even as a kid, this urgency moving through him, around him. Always just ahead. He'd catch up, if everything else would just slow the hell down. But there are rules, and rule number one is that time tends to be, well, linear. Directional. Things get a bit messy when it's not.

Four seconds. That was rule number two, and the consequences for breaking it are— bad. To put it lightly.

He doesn't exactly have a choice. Or, he does, but if it's between breaking the rules or not, watching everything he loves get ripped away or digging in, claws first— well. He knows a thing or two about fighting dirty.

So, no, it's not a choice. It's immutable, like gravity. Time. A strict progression from cause to effect.

Ekko breaks rule number two.

And the line becomes a circle.

.

He thinks it's a dream, the first time. What else would it be? She fell. She's gone.

She's here now, though. Whole and happy and here, running a hand through her chopped-short hair. That single streak of magenta hits him where it hurts, square in his chest. You can't feel pain in a dream, can you?

"You're back," she says, without looking up. She's lying on her stomach, sketchbook open, a whirling kaleidoscope of color on the page in front of her. "Took you long enough."

"Was I gone?" Ekko says.

She actually laughs at that, the sound filling up his ears, warm and bright. "Benzo was starting to worry, not that he'd ever admit it. Big ol' softie." Her hand flashes, chalk sticks arcing across the page. "You seem to have that effect on people."

He shakes his head. "I don't. I'm not—"

She scribbles faster, fingers stained pink and blue and every shade in between. "You know, for a smart guy, you're kinda dumb."

"Ouch."

"I still like you, though."

This is a nice dream. Maybe the only nice dream he'll have again.

"I miss you," he says, dredging the words up from some sunless space inside him. "I didn't tell you before."

Her hand slows to a stop. From where he's standing, Ekko can only see a few snatches of detail on the page; a fuchsia smile, twin blue braids.

"I'm right here, buster," she says, not looking up. Grinning softly at her hands. "Never left, actually."

The circle wobbles, shifts out of focus. Time and space folding in on each other like paper cranes.

When he blinks, Powder is gone.

.

Too late. It's always, always too late.

.

"It's you," she says, the next time.

They're somewhere green, somewhere he's never been. A part of the Undercity that doesn't exist where he's from, that never existed.

"Uh." He blinks against the sun. "It's me, yeah."

"Seriously?" Beside him on the lawn, she pops up on an elbow, scrutinizing him. "You still don't get what's happening? Sheesh, hopping dimensions really does do a number on the noggin."

Okay, this is a weird dream. Still, as long as he keeps her talking, as long as he has sun on his skin and grass beneath him, he doesn't really care. He'll take weird. He'll take whatever he can get.

"Noggin, right," he laughs. "Synapses. Drunk slugs."

Powder scrunches up her nose like she's trying not to laugh. "Alright, I give. If you wanna dance around the giant elephant in the room, be my guest." She turns her head into her arm, a shield from the sun. Between them, their hands brush in the grass, pinky fingers tangling together. "Next time, though."

Ekko hums, content. More than that— happy. Overflowing with it. Then he frowns. "Wait. Next time?"

Paper cranes, folding in and in and in.

"Dummy," he thinks he hears her say before she disappears.

.

"So when you said 'hopping dimensions', you meant—"

"Yeah."

"And that means—"

"Yeah."

Ekko spins in a circle, arms thrown out wide. "But— how? All of this, the lab, the tech— it shouldn't exist here. Heimerdinger made sure—"

"Hey, you're the genius," Powder says. "I just live here."

Four seconds. He lets it sink in for four seconds—she's whole, she's happy, she's here, at least in this tiny pocket of space and time—before he's crossing the space between them and pulling her into a bruising hug. Her breath puffs out in mild surprise, and then she's hugging him back, arms cinching tight around him. I won't forget this. But he's already started to. He drops his head to her shoulder, breathing her in, every tiny detail. He won't make the same mistake twice.

Her eyes are wet when they untangle. Ekko swipes at his cheek to find that his are, too.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm so sorry. I thought I saved you, but it wasn't— I wasn't—"

"Don't," she says fiercely. "Don't do that. Not with me, not here. I meant what I said, okay? You're a good one, Ekko. You don't give up on people. If I'm— if the other me is— then there was nothing you could've done to change it. That was always gonna be how the story ended."

The tears are a river, streaming salt down the slope of his nose and into his mouth. "I was too slow. I'm always too damn slow."

Powder's hands are on his face, her lips kissing the salt from his cheeks, his eyelids. "The boy savior," she murmurs. "It's not your job to save everyone, you know. But I love you for trying."

She's fading, or maybe he is. Time and space, a never-ending anomaly. But there are constants, too, things that keep the universe spinning. Rules worth breaking.

He feels it, this time. It's like someone's scooping out his insides, rearranging his atoms. Like he's being wiped clean, unmade. Hollowed out so that some other him can be stuffed into his skin. Four seconds is all it takes, or maybe four million.

I love you. I love you, too.

.

He tells her for real, when he sees her again.

"I know," she says, elbowing him in the ribs. Her cheeks are dusky-pink. "Following my lead, huh?"

He looks at her, really looks. Every detail; the dainty point of her chin and the dusting of freckles across her nose and her eyes, big and bright and blue.

"Always," he says.

.

Time and space. Paper cranes, folding and unfolding, creasing the lines of reality. Some rules can't be broken, but they can bend a little.

Here's one: when you die, you stay dead.

.

He must be dreaming. She's standing right in front of him, in this dimension, on this plane of existence, real and whole and here. Her hair is still short, all of it blue.

Four seconds. He holds his breath for four seconds, and then: "Jinx."

"Hey, buster," she says.

[elderwisp]

hey wisp! I always adored the way your edits looks especially the little stars-sprinkles-camera feel layers you chooses!

so Im wondering what do you usually google to search for that kinda stuff???

hai :D thank you friend! :3 i typically will look up film frame/star bokeh overlay and i'll scour the internet until i find some. i'll usually check places like pinterest, google images, devianart HOWEVER i decided to put together something for this ask. sometimes (most of the times lmao) a lot of these textures are paywalled and that's a bit annoying SO i've uploaded a majority of the textures i use! i organized them into three categories and that's bokeh, film scratches and borders! i'll also included a mini tut under the cut because genuinely when i first started using textures, i uh, had no idea how do use them lil guys so maybe this might help someone :D

ᯓ☆ Texture Pack Download: SFS

mini tutorial underneath:

after copying, pasting and resizing the texture file onto the photo i'm editing, for film textures with a mostly black background that aren't transparent, i'll hop into layers and change it to lighten. i find that this keeps the detail whist not causing you to loose clarity in a photo! i usually set opacity to 50% but that's just a preference! i always suggest to mess around with layer styles u never know what u might find:

as for bokehs or light leaks, i'll usually use lighten but i recently discovered that linear dodge creates a glowy effect bery cool! thought i might share:

as for the frames i included, most are transparent, i included some like the very first photo that could look sick layered over a photo. some have a white non-transparent center such as the one pictured but i'll typically erase it or try out the multiply layer:

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Man, you have gotta stop being so relatable.

Yelling has always been overwhelming to me, always makes me shutdown. Wasn’t even necessary cuz of trauma—I remember my mom once saying I’ve always reacted badly whenever people raised their voice or yelled at me, even when I was like, a toddler or something. That’s why she always tried to never yell at me… not that it worked. Cuz she had a lotta unresolved issues, and when things built up and her emotions boiled over, well… yeah. She didn’t yell at me often, barely ever, but each time it happened, well. Very unpleasant experience, as you can imagine. Of course, this made my issues with it even worse, and well. Yeah.

But anyway. Recent events have made me realize just how bad the issue is. I thought it was just yelling and raised voices that got to me, and it wasn’t that big a deal because people almost never get mad at me since I’m a very agreeable person, but. Lately it’s been causing problems. Turns out even if someone is being calm and reasonable when they’re confronting me and just wanna work things out… if there’s any way the tone can be perceived as aggressive even if the tone isn’t actually aggressive…for some reason my brain interprets it like an attack and just… idk it’s frustrating. Because I want to be able to just work things out with people like good functional adults and whatever but instead every time I gotta talk things out it’s this whole… agh. And like, I don’t want people to feel like they can’t confront me about stuff, y’know? I don’t wanna be the person who turns into a mess even when reasonably confronted about reasonable stuff. Confrontation can be good and healthy when everyone is being respectful and it’s just part of life but…idk.

Anyway. Sorry to dump all that on you. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a therapist that can help me with that. Haven’t found a good fit yet but… just gotta keep trying, I guess.

And…

Something about the way you say “be better than me” kinda bothers me. You’re not just some cautionary tale or tragedy, y’know? It was one thing when we all thought you’d be stuck on that ship forever. But… things are different now. You’re going home. And it’s not easy, things are still really tough, and the road to recovery is gonna be really hard and difficult, but… you’ve got your whole life ahead of you now. (I don’t care that you’re in your late 30s, you’ve still got so much many years left to live.)

You’re not just… some example of what not to be like, y’know? Over the months I’ve watched you get better and standing up for yourself and reflecting a lot and… even if it hasn’t exactly been linear, sometimes there’s setbacks but… you’ve still gotten better and you’ve grown as a person and stuff. Despite everything, you’re still trying.

So… don’t put yourself down. You can get better, I can get better, and we can inspire each other, yeah?

-🌃🌠🌌

Sorry...?

Ah. Yep. That's how it is.

Hmm... Maybe you've got a dissociation problem too? Can't say for sure, but hey, it might be worth checking out. It's frustrating, I get it. Would be wonderful if I could have a disagreement with one of you without feeling like I've catastrophically ruined things. (Exaggerating for effect, I'm fine.) Yeah, I... I admit I'm worried about becoming that person too. Gets to a point where the smallest sign of anger feels like a threat. Thanks for that, Jim. And I think you'll agree: That attitude causes problems more than it solves them.

C'mon. Don't apologize. I really don't mind. Best of luck with therapy.

...Oh. Didn't... didn't think of it that way, if I'm being real. Thank you. (What do you mean late thirties? I've been thirty-five for half a year, for fuck's sake.)

Mm... Thank you, again. Means a lot that you'd say that. I'm not... I'd rather others learn from my mistakes than not, though, you know? If I can... Not a cautionary tale, as you said, but if I can use what I have learned to help other people avoid the same path, I want to. Least I can do.

Hah. Yeah. Cheers to getting better together.

[arcadekitten]

[MY WISHMAKER Spoilers!]

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I just played MY WISHMAKER last night and I loved it, so I wanted to give you my thoughts!

Arcade, you are SO SNEAKY AND CLEVER!!! I saw those promo images and was like "oh dear, he has a gunshot wound, what happened?" only to boot up the game and find out HIS WHOLE ARM WAS MISSING! You really can't tell when he's facing right, so I applaud you for hiding it so well.

I LOVE how sassy The Wishmaker is! I was expecting it/them(? I'll just go with them for now) to be kind of highfalutin and regal 'cause they're a deity and all but I really love how you went in this completely other direction! I think it does make sense since The Wishmaker obviously has to, like, grant people's wishes (in some way at least), so having a more casual manner of speech would probably make them less intimidated.

Also! I loved how you implemented the QTEs! I feel like it spices up the gameplay and is a nice little nod to your fans who played My Neighbor Enide. Even though I messed up all of them, though I SWEAR the Vas one was not my fault! I was mashing that Z button for dear life, but my laptop decided to type it into Edge for some reason!? I didn't even have it open!

Oh, and I see you were able to figure out the mouse movement? You said you'd have to move around using the arrow keys, which I was fine with, but I was pleasantly surprised when I booted up the game and I could move with the mouse too! It really completed the experience.

I don't really have much to say about the story, not because it's bad, but because it's so shrouded in mystery that my cogs are still turning as to what it could mean. I did really like the puzzles, though! And I did notice those key items you hid away...

I have plenty of theories I've been ruminating on even before MW, but I don't wanna put them here because 1) since this is an ask it might make you feel obligated to comment on them somehow which you are not and I don't want you to do, and 2) I think I would start rambling and make this ask a mile long LOL.

That's about everything I could think of off the top of my head! Overall, I really enjoyed it, and I hope you the best in all the other chapters and games you plan to make. I'm sure I'll enjoy them just as much, if not even more. Take care!

Haha yes! ♡ I know some people have been asking why Reginald has two arms in the promo images and it's like...it's meant to be a surprise, silly!

Also for our little Wishmaker character, yes! I adore them very much and I'm very excited for people to see more of them and learn their real name!! Another one of my favorites to be sure ♡ Not sure how I'll tag them in posts yet until their name reveal... clock, maybe? Just to avoid confusion? This character can be referred to with any pronouns, but for clarification that in games and in my posts they will only be referred to with "they" and the occasional "it"

I'm happy the QTEs are received well! (Granted they were a bit harder at first haha!) I'm happy to include them in future chapters as I feel future chapters will definitely be more linear and dialogue heavy and so I hope they can spice up the gameplay and keep things interesting and maybe just a tad more immersive! ♡

As for mouse movement controls it's kinda like a "Well yes, but actually no". You CAN move using the mouse if you really want to but you also have to be aware that you could accidentally hit an object's hitbox and activate its event. And you can't back out of an event once it has been activated like in typical point-and-clicks. (There's only so far I can push the engine with my experience level!) It's for this reason (and the surprise of QTE's!) that WASD/Arrow Key movement is recommended!

Thank you so much! ♡ I am so very happy to hear you enjoyed the experience and I love to hear what people have been brewing up regarding the story and the mysteries still unfolding (even though I can't say anything about it yet!) and I can't wait until I can have more to show you all! I'm really excited for it and I hope everyone will be too! ♡♡♡

[10underoot2]

I finally rewatched Queen of Tears Episode 16.

Its given me a lot of clarity on why I didn't like it all that much. The episode feels very filler like, reiterating what I already know, no development nothing to draw me in. So here's a list of thing I really like vs things I had beef with: 

The Good:

- Hyunwoo's understanding of what marriage is is very profound and beautiful. Really appreciate that bit.

- The employees in this corporate sector have been 10/10 throughout. I cannot with how much I love them to bits. Still not over 'I just want to see the rich argue' 😭😂

- Yangi's bond with Hyunwoo is absolutely 10/10 

- I like Haein trying to find the reason of their divorce. It's important for her cause why did two people who love each other want to divorce each other. But again I hate how this wasn't a main cause of comcern around epsidoe 7. Like don't brush over it fam. Don't you wanna know why the man you love and who loved you to bits wanted to divorce you?

- Those last 7-8 mins. Though I wish I had more of them. I needed a linear passing of time. Something like the Germany Montage at the start would've been perfect. But at the very end just 'Way home' playing, Hyunwoo seeing Haein as an angel to pick him up, the familiar happiness and love just spreading around them was beautiful to witness. Really got me teary eyed both times I watched it. 

The Bad: 

- I'm not even getting into the uselessness and bad execution of the whole Yoon Eun Sung plot line since episode 14. 

- Still have no idea why Mol Soo Hee she wanted Suwan dead? Like there's no rationale? Why not kill Hae-in or SeoCheol in all those 20 years as well? It makes no sense to me.

- the episode felt so unnecessarily dramatic. I get it he got shot and was in a car accident but I was so sure he'd be okay? Did not understand or appreciate the over dramaticness also those Yangi shots in that sequence were a little tooo dramatic for me

- I don't like Haein getting back her memories cause they said the hippocampus would be destroyed. It's my fault for looking for logic in the first place but can we please stick to what we established writernim. Also wasn't this the whole problem that she's not getting back ANY memories EVER?!

- The scene between the mothers at this point was also unnecessary. We could've gotten to this realization back in the episode this was brought up the first time. She knew the location and date I don't see how reviewing her album was the light bulb moment.

- I feel super bad for this one but for me even Hae-in's bedside speech, once Hyunwoo woke up, lacked sincerity. As much as she might realize she loves him. He's still a stranger. Who does she miss? Her husband who's love she has no recollection of? The man she loved but she has no idea how she loved him? Take out the loss of memories and it would've hit me like a truck. Like she's not even holding his hand as she waits cause she recently met him. What am supposed to cry over here? What could've been? The pre ep 15 Baekhong I dearly misssed at this point?

- More on the Hyunwoo hospital scene. When he says 'I had forgotten' As sweet as it is I already knew all of it. It was so ill placed I didn't have to see it here.  Also like what does she care? She doesn't remember if you forgot or not in the first place 💀

- The Yangi x Haeina acene in the hospital - what notebook are we talking about? Did I miss something? Did I fall asleep somewhere like what?! Also I feally do like Yangi but I thought all of the scenes with him were kinda forced this episode.

- The conversations where Haein tells Hyunwoo he's perfect. Is it just me or is Haein extremely expressive after the surgery? I can never imagine Haein telling Hyunwoo that he's perfect even if she think so. It was a little off putting for me being introduced to this new character in the last episode. I miss my inexpressible power girl.

- Just the voice over off what happened with Mol Soo Hee would've sufficed but I guess we had to see that SNU degree in action. 

- The turn in Da hye's emotion - as sweet as it was also felt forced. They just showed me earlier she didn't care for him and bullied him. Now you want me to belive she mistook her feeling okay sureeee 🙃

- This is what meant by killing the temperment. They start Hyunwoo's monolougue 'We forgave those who we used to resent and then we cut to this long scene of Aunt Beom ja. Then we have Hyunwoo, then we have his brother's scene. The editing was off here. I wish we had a monologue of just them. It all threw me off so much.

And here's why a sequence of Baekhong was so necessary cause remember the first episode we instantly fall in love and get curious because of that lovely montage of BaekHong Germany scenes. 

All in all good ending, horrible last two epsiode. Kinda left a bad taste in my mouth. It makes me long so much for the show I saw and fell in love with before. I have never felt this way about a last episode, I think I just expected better from this show. 

[wh00pwh00p]

BASTARDS LORE WAHHH

a lot is the same, if people know previous bastards lore (the bastards are talon, heartstopper and cat scratch) the main beats are the same

- they all still hate each other for the previous reasons (those haven't changed)

- a lot of their backgrounds have stayed the same the bit that's changed is the bit in between and added a bit of padding

- world building lore I've mentioned previously about the planet and setting are also the same (sci-fi meets fantasy kinda vibes for those who don't know)

the bastards are all about desperate people doing desperate shit whether its a good decision or not (mostly not but hey-ho) luckily for these guys it kina works out, they become a mildly fucked up found family who try their very best spurred on by eachother. they arnt perfect and progress isn't linear but they try :D

tw for mentions of drugs, crime (?), abuse/super shit parents and a general warning for possibly sensitive subjects under the cut (oh god this post is ganna get banished)

one day ill make lil character profiles for each :3

(and for any who dont read further: essentially i love the special task force trope and will devour any and all morally grey characters form a found family trope stories so all are here :3 though tbh the amount of this lore ill actively post about will probably be very low bc mostly i just like playing dress up with my babys its just sometimes nice for other ppl to know if they like the characters)

Talon (he/him) - draconic species/human - talon is blind with his sight tied to his bird (rogue)

for a lack of a better way of putting it talons dad was a real peice of shit after his mum left, worst dad of the year award goes to this guy

the ranch was also essentially forced onto talon (even though talon thinks it's an absolute money pit and although he believes in the cause his dad will not let him changed how it's run and funded) along with all his dad's horrific views on the lgbtqia+ and non-human races

(context: the ranch specialises in the breeding and raising of endangered and traditional animals native to the planet though it's run as a private for profit business but talon wants to open it up as a charity)

this leads to talon internalising a lot of self hatred based on his dad's views and feeling a severe lack of control in what he can do on top of that (he's severely insecure with daddy issues)

talon turned to selling drugs to supplement income for the ranch, only ever breaking even on monthly expenses

eventually in the story he meets cyrus (a wealthy scholar they are recommended to talk to and stay with) which forces him to confront his internalised homophobia as he catches some real aggressive feelings and cyrus is helping talon through his crisis in the worst way possible :)

Cat Scratch (they/them) - cat human (?) - anger issues central

a little reminder of cat scratches lore which is staying (but won't necessarily be mentioned below): them and heartstopper were friends at one point though cat scratch felt as though heartstopper betrayed them when the guy they both loved chose heartstopper though they promised to 'stay friends' ;) (dw I'm sure that doesn't end badly for heartstopper)

little is known about cat scratches background (I'm not lazy sssshh)

cat scratch bounced homes and schools like it was a sport, never having a moment of stability in their life leading to them almost lean into it and pushing the loose cannon aspect of their personality to the extreme

cat scratch could never hold down an average job for very long after leaving the foster system, they turned to underground illegal fights and to make ends meet and made their peace with living far less than comfortably

Heartstopper (she/her) - human - shes girlbossing very close to the sun

(pretty much all heartstopper lore will be covered here)

heartstopper had a remarkably normal upbringing, loving parents, good friends, good grades, she carried on her education and won the man of her dreams..... until on the day of their wedding he was nowhere to be seen

turns out cat scratch had conspired against her to ruin her, spreading rumours of infidelity and misconduct in the work place. heartstopper was let go from her job and disowned. labelled a whore, a bitch and a liability.

but heartstopper has standards she isn't going to let go of easily

she starts blackmailing, stealing from, stalking and hacking people she has a particular distain for. (shes gaslighting, gatekeeping and girlbossing ok)

at one point she meets talon at a party, they bond over being deeply unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives however their relationship ends in a ball of flames when heartstopper points out how aggressively closeted talon is and he isn't willing to admit it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

little do they know, theyve all been being watched (well actually heartstopper knew shes just not ganna let them know that). all their crimes are surprisingly small enough to go under the radar but gives them plenty of transferable skills.

they are all "arrested" but are given the opportunity to work for their freedom. they get freedom if they can track down a mole in the higher powers within 4 weeks.

[miilkyrolls]

okay fine, Murder at homecoming, YOU WIN

so i finally finished MaH after putting off continuing past chapter 1 since like...february and, i almost used this book as a diamond mine cause i preemptively was like "this looks lame 😒"

... i came, i laughed, i gasped, i yelled, i cried and i left... then i CAME BACK BECAUSE HOLY MOTHER OF REPLAY-ABILITY BATMAN🥲

but no this book hits right where it needed too. I know one of the biggest upsets people have with MaH is A) the villain being guessable and B) not solving Perdita's disappearance and sorta C/ B.2) it being a standalone. and imo for A, that's up to you to feel that way. imo cause choices is a visual form of content, it's kinda hard to have genuinely surprising "twist" villains cause the visuals already clue you into who done-did it unless they pull the twist straight out they ass(i feel this way about movies and shows too. the only way surprises genuinely get me is in books or podcasts, so non visual entertainment)

and B/C, i actually think NOT solving perdita's story AND making it a standalone was actually very mature of PB (first and possibly last time i'll ever say that in this day and age 💀). it's possible they might've made it their next teen drama series if they had the budget. But unfortunately it's honestly realistic. unfortunately a lot of women go missing and rarely do they get found alive and in a short amount of time (esp if you have as a bipoc mc/ perdita). it's an extremely tragic cookie crumble that unfortunately a lot of mysteries in our lives often take us our entire lives to solve and a lot of them we'll never solve in our lifetime. it's a great paradox / parallel to gabbie's death. it took us all of say 4/5 months (cause in the US, most schools go on winter break in late December) to solve with justice being fairly swift, fair, and harsh but unfortunately a lot of victims don't get their day for a long while, if ever. it's a healthy ying and yang of enjoying fictional justice but it being unrealistic with acknowledging the devastation of losing real victims while acknowledging those lost and their unsung stories that we should never completely give up on their days to come. (ofc however, i hc that perdita is still alive and uncovered corruption in the city and knew that making her family deal with legal repercussions would make their lives more difficult and be ostracized by the elites of Beachwood, so she just left and changed her identity. i like to think she did it also cause MC deserved to have a normal teenhood and not be ousted for her actions)

also i love the open and candid conversations around the treatment of queer children, bipoc mistreatment , misogyny, sa and grief. idk why but the ability to choose if you'd experienced homophobia/ transphobia based on your pronouns and who you've romanced, and tyler talking about thinking he was straight before meeting us (i had a masc body) idk why but i like that touch. i feel like PB kinda grazes over the aspect of being queer / trans and the concept of love, coming out, and society acceptance when your same sex romancing/ nonbinary so it's real shocking when they actually..idk address that thing😭. it's nice to have characters acknowledging their sexuality rather then just be automatically playersexual and everyone around them is just immediately accepting/ suddenly bigotry just seems to evaporate for mc's life/ society

also also, WE CAN BE POLY AND LIKE ITS CALLED POLY AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND THE LI WE DON'T CHOOSE AREN'T FORCED ONTO US/ GIVEN AS A OPTION

smaller things: i like the heavy usage of sound effects, idk why but i do. i like the flashbacks into mc's and perdita's relationship, the mix of free and paid clues that are non linear, STEVIE (yes she needs her own category)

overall: 9.2/10. i really like this book, it's going on my personal shelf next to the likes of crimes of passion (minus proposal...), Queen B, big sky country, blood bound, immortal desires 1, and with every heartbeat for my good book shelf

[mystic-headcanons]

i'm still on the autistic jumin high. what if he found out he was autistic THROUGH MC. Like, she's autistic, so he went to research about it and that's how he found out he was autistic?

and could i also have hc of jihyun with an autistic MC?

thank you!

oh my god i LOVE this thank you

mc being autistic would come up very casually in a conversation. you'd probably offhandedly mention it while talking about the emails. or maybe in a funny story about a miscommunication that'd happened once.

of course the other members- sans seven, because He Knows All- would immediately catch that and start asking you about it.

jumin especially would be intrigued. there is a lot of stigmatism against autism in south korea, despite the high rate of autistic individuals, so when he learned about you being autistic, he was shook.

i feel like he would definitely believe the autistic person stereotype, and if you didn't fit that it'd cause confusion for him.

jumin would instantly start researching it himself-- this is a rare time that he wouldn't have jaehee put together a folder for him. partially because he cares about you so he wants to put in the work to both connect with you more and learn how to help you should problems arise

and also because there was just something in the back of his mind that told him he had to Pay Attention.

would be very surprised the more he researches autism and individuals with autism. the more he looks into it, the more he worries that he might be autistic.

it's nothing to be ashamed of, and jumin knows that, but it's something he feels he'd have to keep very well hidden, if only for the good of the company.

he absolutely starts asking you more and more questions about it. how did you find out? when did you find out? was there anything that clued you into it first?

you definitely know before he does, but you never say anything to him, instead letting him take his time to come to a conclusion.

when jumin finally does accept that he has autism, it was like finding a puzzle piece he didn't know he was missing. suddenly, a lot of things about himself made more sense.

it took a while before he was ready to get a diagnosis though, and he asks you to come with him to his appointment.

is unusually nervous, but you're able to calm him by taking his hand and offering a small smile. "i'm proud of you." you'd whisper to him, and. well. no one's really said that to him before-- jumin is so stunned that he forgets to be nervous.

he tells the rfa but everyone is like 'lol we kinda guessed it but good for u for finally figuring it out'

(they tease him a little about how long it took him, but are very supportive <3)

jihyun kim

oh my god he is an absolute sweetheart when you sit him down to tell him about you having autism

i think he definitely worries that this is a lot more serious, because you asked him if you two could talk and then sat across from him on the sofa

he starts thinking the absolute worst- that you're leaving him, that you don't love him, that he's done something wrong

(jihyun is working on loving himself more, but. healing isn't exactly linear.)

when you finally confide in him, jihyun breathes out a sigh of relief before leaning forward and taking your hands. "that's all?" he'd say. "you had me worried that this would be worse."

immediately begins asking you what he could do to help. any foods you want him to make sure are kept stocked up? any fidget toys or other things to stim with? is there anything he could do when you're overstimulated? all he wants to do is make sure you're completely comfortable with him.

after that, he starts to ask you how you knew. does your family know? if they do, how did they take it? if they don't, will you ever tell them?

if his questions become too much for you, just tell him and he'll back off with an apology. you are the most important person in his life, and jihyun just wants to know everything about you.

after the next rfa party, jihyun donates all the money raised to an organization that helps raise awareness about mental health and helps with finding resources for disorders.

he starts to recognize when you're burning out, and will immediately accommodate for it. whatever helps you with it, he'll get for you.

jihyun isn't the fighting type, so if anyone is ever nasty to you about it, he just becomes Very Stern with them. it's like getting scolded by your father-- and it's just as scary.

[shouyuus]

What do you do when you feel like you're losing your touch with writing? It's been sounding so mechanical and less flowery and poetic when I write and I'm just like what am I doing wrong. It's making it hard for me to continue and like I should just scrap the whole thing

i think everyone goes through periods shift in their writing style, and i guess my best advice is to just lean in and see where it takes u! progress (esp for stuff like this) is not linear, and also. if it's a hobby that u like to do for urself and a select few others, then there's no pressure to constantly be doing "better".

but i find that if im ever feeling a lil un-inspired, i try to read some poetry or watch slam poems. or read something by an author that u know has the style of writing u like and want to get back to. for me, i have like a set list of authors that i go back to time and time again, sometimes just to read and let their words wash over me, other times, i kind of visualize the intake of text as "adding fuel to a car". cause u can't go anywhere without first putting fuel in first right? so for me, writing is kinda similar in that you have to intake first before u can rev ur metaphorical creative engines.

i love re-reading as well. i go back to my fav books over and over again, my fav passages and poems over and over again. i read them out loud, i copy them out word for word just to feel the difference of actually "writing" them through. it's different when u experience them in different ways, right? so these r all things i do when i feel a bit far away from the writing that i like to produce and want to get back there :)

but, if you write something and then wanna scrap it still, then scrap it! lmfao no writing is ever "wasted" if it helps u get to some other piece of writing that ur happier with right. sometimes ur just in a bottleneck and have to get the "bad" writing out before the good writing can come through! that happens a lot too! so just get it down on paper, and then u have the freedom to do with it as you please!

[yolowritter]

Volpibug Au Part 4: Mom help, there's a fox girl on my floor!

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to Lilanette Hell! Finally, after three rants longer than my entire attention span, I've returned with the good shit! Also yes, I cackled at the title. You'll see, it makes sense later. Part 3 of the Au is right here for anyone who needs a reminder, and today's rant focuses on the Glaciator episode and the immediate aftermath! This is where the Lilanette really begins! Also, this post is going to be really long, because I've got two whole snippets for you guys!

To give a bit more context, the Au currently has a pretty linear timeline. Begins with Volpina because obviously that's when Lila shows up for the first time, continues into Collector where Lila decides that Adrien is the least annoying person in class and she will get him back, hence teaming up with Marinette to go confront Gabriel about it. Yes, she gleefully reminds Monsieur Mothballs that CPS exists and is only one phone call away. Then the show moves on as normal, with Lila happily staying out of everyone's business and just kinda figuring out how friendships are supposed to work.

Add a few flashbacks to her altered backstory, maybe some nice Trixx pov to sweeten the deal, and suddenly we're at the Sapotis episode! As I mentioned in Part 2, Lila doesn't like Chloe, so she and Marinette kinda put their differences aside for the sake of Adrien having more friends and keeping the Queen B in check. Still, Lila does not like Marinette at this point. She thinks that while having moments of brilliance, the bluenette is erratic, overly emotional and also kinda creepy with her stalking of Adrien. This isn't bashing, just Lila being a bit too blunt. Anyway, they aren't clawing each other's eyes out and that's what matters. Cue Alya inviting them both to sleepover, the Sapotis incident, and then the rest of Part 2 where Volpina (with her fake civilian name starting with "Cer-" as a nod to Cerise) joins the hero team. If you need a reminder, don't worry I'll rant about it again sometime soon. Lila comes and goes during Akuma fights, occasionally showing up to laugh at Chat Noir when he gets yeeted halfway across the cityscape, and usually just sniding at that day's Akuma. She needs to get it out of her system to be able to hold her tongue in school, so it's a good outlet!

But anyway, one day the Glaciator Incident happens, mostly like normal. Lila gets invited to go out with the rest of the group, and actually does her whole innocent act to basically force Marinette to show up...but Adrien doesn't. Lila is less than pleased with this decision, because if you remember she told Marinette off for memorizing Adrien's wiki page and kinda stalking him instead of...oh, talking to the guy! It annoys her a bit too much, so she endeavors to put an end to this crap by making it so Marinette has to interact with Adrien in the context of friendship, and hopefully figures out that stealing phones is Lila's thing, and no, she doesn't allow copycats! Evidently...Marinette ends up having the same interaction with Andre, causing him to be upset, but Lila steps in to save the day by exclaiming that his ice cream is awesome and she really wants to try! Akuma averted...or not, because once she thinks she's out of earshot, Lila mutters about how a grown adult shouldn't get so hung up on teenagers' love lives + a whole bunch of "doesn't he have anything better to do?" Again, not bashing anyone, just Lila being Lila. Cue Glaciator, canon edition!

Volpina does show up for the fight and distracts him while Ladybug and Chat have their little "faking feelings is wrong!" argument, but Lila quickly gets tired of their shit and urges Adrien to just get it over with! Then, she hides behind a chimney to keep watch and they defeat the villain. As Volpina makes her way back down, Ladybug and Chat have a little conversation where he asks her to at least let him talk to her, and then they leave Lila behind to have the rooftop scene with the rose. As Ladybug leaves, Volpina jumps over (yes, she obviously spied on them, she does this a lot) to talk with Chat Noir.

Now...Lila does not do feelings of any kind. Empathy isn't in her dictonary, even if she is slowly learning how to practice it despite that. And here...she actually does have one of those mature moments. Lila's been forced to grow up too quick after her grandma's death with only Trixx for company (see part 1 here for the backstory), so that sobered her up a bit. Half the reason she treats everyone like an idiot is because they're all incredibly immature in her eyes. Anyway, she sits on the railing and Chat exclaims he's not in the mood for jokes tonight. Alarm bells start ringing in Lila's head, because she actually really vibes with their team's other pun enthusiast. She wouldn't call him a friend, but who else can help her drive Ladybug insane if not for the mangy stay? So she decides to talk to him about it, and we get the following snippet! Bet you weren't expecting that!

[...]

Volpina raises her hands in a surrender, giving Chat a toothy grin that shows her fangs. Her tail swishes around the metal railing, but after his frown doesn't go away, she clears her throat and scoots over to him. "Listen...I really don't do feelings. And I'm going to regret this...but do you want to talk about it?" she asks, trying to smooth her voice into something soft instead of the usual teasing tone.

The blonde's surprise is only betrayed by the sudden twitch of his ears, and Lila lazily stretches her arm to at least keep up the pretense of not caring. Give the boy an out if he doesn't want to share, and hope it all works out. Instead, Chat levels her with a suspicious stare. "Why do you even care? Sure, you're on our side..." he makes a wild gesture with his arms, as if physically grasping for the right words.

Lila cuts him off by snapping her claws together, meeting his eyes. "Because if you and the watermelon don't get your shit together, that's more work for me. And I've already fought enough of his kids' cartoon rejects as it is." she tells him in a rare moment of honesty. Not that Volpina doesn't care, it's just that the list of people she's willing to fight over currently extends to maybe five or six, and begrudgingly at that.

Chat's face falls, as if he'd half expected it. For a moment he almost looks like he's going to try and scold her...but he only gives a deep sigh. "It's complicated. I don't expect you to understand." the blonde mutters, ears drooping like someone's doused him with ice-cold water.

"It's either me or your Kwami. Take your pick, I won't sit here all night." Volpina argues in a dismissive tone. When Chat looks away from her, Lila thinks she maybe should have picked her words more carefully. Resisting the urge to leave him be, Volpina reaches out to gently grasp his shoulder with her claws. She levels him a serious look, to say she means it. "Just...start talking, would you?" Lila prods him, and Chat's eyes glint with poorly-disguised surprise. What an idiot...it's not like she'd actually grown attached. That would just be ridiculous.

Nevertheless, he tells her everything. How he'd invited Ladybug on a date and carefully prepared everything in advance, even if she told him it was a maybe. Well, that was much more headway than he'd ever made, so Chat Noir still went on with trying to make the perfect spot. But...she hadn't shown up. Dissapointed, he'd headed over to Marinette, having seen the bluentte on her balcony. Lila carefully files away their prior friendship, as well as the fact that she might have judged the girl a bit too quickly. If one of Paris' heroes has taken such an interest to her...could there be a side to her beyond the exasparating annoyance she's been friends with for so long? Chat goes on to describe the impromtu date between them, and then the conversation with Ladybug that Volpina definately hadn't listened in on. Spying on her teammates during a momet of emotional vulnerability? Her? Never!

Still, a certain detail does stick out to her, but she politely waits until the blonde is done moping. "You...do know she told you there were other plans for tonight, right?" Volpina asks, leaning her face towards him to look into Chat Noir's eyes. Her catty green peers through a dissapointed emerald, and he gives a nod. "Okay...I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but you know that Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up just because you expected her to, right? Everyone is allowed to say no." Lila tells him, trying to keep her tone from turning to an accusation. She'd never gotten the impression that Chat believed himself entitled to the other girl's affections, but it didn't hurt to make sure.

Silence slowly envelops them as he mulls her words over, as if struggling to understand the concept. She straightens up, arching her back across the railing for a stretch as Chat falls deep in thought. "We...we can say no?" he asks dumbly, almost as if he hadn't heard her. Oh. Oh...shit. She knew that innocent gaze from a mile away, having spent so much time glued to Adrien's side. Lila's heart sings with pity, and she takes a deep breath.

"Yes, of course we can." Volpina insists, grabbing onto his shoulder for emphasis. She clicks her claws together, hopping off the railing and standing next to Chat Noir. "Listen to me. Other people's desires only matter if you decide they do. And it goes both ways. Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up today, and you aren't forced to go on patrol if you don't feel like it." Lila tells him seriously, looking the blonde in the eye.

Then, as abruptly as the advice came, she steps back and promptly twirls herself around, playfully hitting his arm with her tail. Chat doesn't say a word, and Volpina takes a cursory glance at the sky. "I gotta run. Try not to get caught out in the rain, would you?" she snips at him before climbing on the railing. Before he's even gathered his bearings, she's disappeared over the skyline, with only the familiar high-pitched titter grazing his ears. Chat Noir unhooks his baton, and quickly jumps away into the night.

[...]

And scene! I figured this specific conversation was important, because Lila's advice really resonates with Adrien here. Also, I'll take any excuse to have Volpina on screen, but it's mostly for the plot. I'm trying to prevent Ladynoir without any fights, so Lila has her work cut out for her if she wants to accidentally rizz up Marinette. Believe me, if you thought the Agrestes were oblivious, they've got nothing on the fox girl who subconsiously doesn't think there's anything about her to love. Never to a point of self-hate, Lila is fairly comfortable with who she is as a person, but just...hasn't ever recieved affection aside from her grandmother. Sure, she's dated a few boys before, but that was only because she was using them for one reason or the other, and the "relationships" lasted only barely a month each, being more uninteresting than the one before. So...you can guess why Lila has never considered it after coming to Paris.

Also, just to be perfectly clear, despite Volpina and Chat Noir having their moments together and even a psuedo-date later on, things are strictly platonic here. Lila doesn't like him that way, and Adrien sees her as the cool friend who's teaching him what freedom actually looks like. His eyes are squarely on Ladybug, and later on Kagami. And after that, Luka. But that's for way later in the timeline. Feel free to ask about it though, I'm happy to yap some more about this Au's Lukadrien! Anyway! Lila is very much gay for Marinette, and Volpina does end up as Ladybug's bi awakening...so there's that! Alright, back to the plot!

The next morning passes by quickly, and Lila decides to join the nightly patrol with Ladybug and Chat, which she almost never does aside from when Volpina is in a mood to jumpspace their brave leader. She does it constantly, and Ladybug can never manage to find her before Lila suddenly appears behind her to say hello. This time however, she decides to spy on them again as they have a conversation, and Chat apologizes to Ladybug, explaining that he got his hopes up and it wasn't her fault. She then says it's okay, they hug, happy ending! But that's not what Lila is here for at all! See, Chat's words about Marinette have been stuck in her head all day now. In fact, Lila even tried being nice to the bluenette at school today (severely weirding her out) just to see if there's a difference to how she acts with her actual friends.

The results were...inconclusive, so she's come up another brilliant plan! After making sure this whole feelings crap was done with, she would just...show up at Marinette's house. As Volpina. Without any prior warning. And then promptly proclaim their friendship! That seems like a great idea! With only the best of intentions! What could possibly go wrong? ...as it turns out, absolutely everything.

Unfortunately this post is getting a bit too long, so I'll save the snippet for next time. I am writing these on the spot you know, it ain't easy. Hopefully a good way to get rid of Writer's Block, but still a challenge. Anyway, I do hope you all enjoed today's rant! Wasn't as unhinged as when I talk about canon, but then again my Aus have a lot less to complain about and a lot more to enjoy! If any of you want to talk about Volpibug feel free to shoot me an ask, I'm more than happy to tell you everything you want to know!

Anyway, I'll see you all next time, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[bigsmallworld]

Nostalgia Advent Calendar: MCR edition

Day 8: Your Favorite Song from I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love

And so we leave the specific instruments behind and start out journey with album specific days. First day is for The Bullets. Now fair warning for loads of pointless rambling and the actual answer for why it’s my fave is quite short.

This album is the one I’ve certainly listened the least. I feel like especially in my teens I wasn’t ready for this punk songs. I couldn’t appreciate the feeling that these songs have and just like some old boomer I’d just think it’s just loads of noise. Plus all in all I was a rather happy teenager. If I would’ve have loads of anger issues, hard time with friends or family or being heavily bullied I think also this heavier MCR would’ve hit closer to home.

To go back to my teenager years I however need to bring something up that I found at my folks’ this weekend. Back then most of the new bands I discovered didn’t have their albums available in the local store so I kinda got used to either Limewire the songs or loan the CD in the library. So I guess with MCR this happened as well. Don’t mind the typos, I was 14 and my English was rubbish.

I remembered I had a burnt CD with bunch of MCR songs but I didn’t remember it wasn’t only The Black Parade songs. (The missing Mama made me shocked last night, I bet I just forgot to put in the CD cause otherwise that doesn’t really make sense.) I might’ve assumed Helena and I’m Not Okay from it but didn’t assume there were also songs from The Bullets as well. Okay, Vampires Will Never Hurt You I understand cause MCR became for me the music that I listen to while reading Twilight but especially This Is The Best Day Ever is such a random one but yeah okay…

However, we’re talking about the favorites in 2024. I love the intros of Headfirst for Halos and Skylines and Turnstiles but I’m not as invested to the whole songs.

My top 3 songs are Honey, This Mirror Is Not Big Enough for Two of Us, Vampires Will Never Hurt You and Our Lady of Sorrow. I think melodies in all of them are relatively linear so they’re easy to follow yet they still have something surprising in the song.

I have literally such hard time deciding that I listened those three songs twice during my bus drive home just an hour back and have already forgotten which one I decided that I liked the best.

But after both listening the songs again and looking up the lyrics. And I say the points go to Our Lady of Sorrows. The song has both really good melody (I looove the intro) and the lyrics also have something to think about even though I wouldn’t have interpreted them quite as Gerard wrote it. Especially the

”Stand up fucking tall, don't let them see your back

And take my fucking hand and never be afraid again”

is something quite encouraging for anyone discriminated to have in this world.

[sasquach-scratches]

Unfortunately that poll of "Your Most Hated TES Game" has got me thinking again about my level of disgust across the series and tbh i kinda need to update that so I guess I'll use this to organize my thoughts lmao

For the record, though, I haven't played EVERY TES game out there and those I did weren't finished half the time

Anyways let's get into it

Arena-Actually, lemme separate them into categories cause can you REALLY compare them all equally given how different they are

The Eldest of Scrolls

Arena: Probably the only one of the old-school games I actually finished. Big ol dungeon crawler. Magic goes boom. Hard to really "hate" the game cause I don't feel too strongly about it which is funny cause it's technically the first TES game I played (I waited a month for Oblivion to arrive in the mail)

Daggerfall: Never finished it. As I understand, though, it's Arena but More. I think this is one I'd have stronger feelings about had i actually stuck to playing it till the end

Battlespire: Arena but More but Without the Extra Roleplay. Probably more polarizing but again, barely got an hour or so in lol

Dawnstar/Shadowkey/Stormhold: Never played, but want to (especially Shadowkey) I hear they're all full of jank tho so who knows if i'd enjoy it

The Modern Scrolls

Redguard: Never played.

Morrowind: Played a full game and got through half of another, but given how hogwild I go with the modern TES games it doesn't feel like it's enough to deserve that "Worlds Biggest Hater" energy from me. I do think the "combat sucks" thing is overblown, though. Not saying it's perfect but maybe y'all are too used to the actionized games and/or using the wrong weapon for your skillset. Do not like how easy it is to get lost cause if you don't have Mark/Recall or an Intervention spell you can't just jump to a familiar location.

Oblivion: In short, it's the first TES game I truly played. So I love it for that but also hate it for its shitass levelling and whitewashing of lore/the Empire in more ways than one. I love it more now because of how streamlined Skyrim is. I hate it more now cause it was definitely a low point for Bethesda's worldbuilding. LOVE the CC and I remember spending over an hour creating my first character then immediately rerolling cause oops I overdid it. It's my problematic fave

Skyrim: Love the OCs and the adventures I made for it. Hate the fandom it grew. Love the art direction in comparison to Oblivion. Hate the "gritty" filter put over it. Hate its shitass writing and quests. Love the addition of skill trees but hate their implementation. Absolutely LOATHE the downgrade to magic (idc if it's "story integration" it still sucks) Heavily dislike how little choice you get at CC as far as your skills go. 50/50 on the cosmetic side of CC cause on one hand you can't go ham on face creation but on the other you can change things like weight and nose/eye types but on the other other hand weight is just muscle mass unless you're using the fem body where it's SLIGHTLY thicker

Spinoff Scrolls 2: Finger on the Monkey's Paw Curls

Elder Scrolls Online: This one's...complicated just by virtue of being an MMO that's STILL updating. When I first played it, it was a breath of fresh air over the previous entries not just cause of different gameplay but because having multiple characters was an actual tangible thing in-game. I'm an OC whore okay. The story of the base game felt a LOT tighter, too, given it was actually linear. 'Course, the writing always felt really good or really bad and rarely was it in-between. Either way I got very, VERY invested in it in a way I knew I would never be able to experience again and I will never forget that. The CC is Phenomenal and easily the best one in any TES game so far. (Boob and ass slider? FOR MEN TOO???)

Lore also was hit or miss, with me being VERY appreciative of them touching things that Bethesda never bothered with if it wasn't for killing (i.e. types of food, clothing, toys, etc) but also while the lore team did consult with Bethesda there were and still are some glaring oversights that feel like they shouldn't have happened (especially earlier in the game's life) Given there's still some hiccups I'm guessing the Bethesda team doesn't actually consider it very important (makes sense, the main games also bend lore for the sake of gameplay/Todd's whims A LOT, just look at Oblivion lmao) I also love love love that they touch on the weirder topics, even if sometimes it's done in a way that feels too...on the nose? idk how to explain it

Recent ESO, though? Writing got more and more bland, with some standout sidequests. Lore still hit or miss so that's whatever. I stopped caring for the gameplay after...Orsinium?...when I gave up on relearning how to play with the regular changes to combat. Gave up trying to fit my OCs stories into the new content too, even with new characters (helps that they're not as developed lol) Still play out of habit but I defo think it fell off and this recent change to the yearly content doesn't seem to be helping but then I haven't touched new content since High Isle lmao

Legends: Seemed interesting but never played it much lmao, lore/story seems to follow ESO's example of being hit or miss from what I saw

Blades: It was okay I guess. Another game I developed a habit for then promptly dropped after I finished building and upgrading my town. It's a mobile game so idk what I expected, annoying ads begging for money abounded. I did all of it without paying a single cent on my Switch and it was a slog but I did it. Pretty meh about it tbh

Castles: Looks cute. Never played it and probably never will.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It’s very late here but today was a good day - I have spent the past month or so very afraid of my old friends because I thought they all didn’t want to talk to me anymore (long and complicated situation). Suffice it to say that today I went to an event with this group of people and no one threw tomatoes at me and! And I did not have an anxiety attack or similar.

It sucks that it took me a month to sort my panic out and face them, especially since the reason I was so worried was because I care for these people deeply. There’s still awkwardness to settle but I’m just very proud of myself Kat, because I was so scared to go to this event all day but then I went and had a good time and called it quits after a few hours. Im now chilling (up too late watching stupid little videos) and I’m probably going to go to bed after I send this in. It just took an enormous amount of effort to even, like, get out of bed, eat, and do well in my class. And here I am, successfully doing what I’ve spent the last month fretting over.

I don’t know if these relationships will ever go back to how they were, and I know that the linear progression of time kinda makes the most literal interpretation of that impossible. But I have some new friends who are so cool and then these friends who seem to be rekindling and then even older friends/family who I can always count on. I’m just not only so grateful to be alive (I spent a lot of time wishing I wasn’t) but I’m very grateful that I’m me, cause like. I actually pulled that off! The confidence is starting to come from inside the house!

Goodnight Kat, I hope the ferry ride is well.

I am so incredibly proud of you for putting yourself out there and doing this and having a good time despite your severe anxiety. That is beyond impressive and you deserve to feel so proud of this. As someone who has an anxiety disorder myself, I can imagine the size of this struggle, and I think you're doing really amazing! ✊️

[basilquesadilla]

My Thoughts on Pokemon Sword/Shield

Hi everyone! Thought I'd do something a bit fun out of boredom and just give a very casual review of Sword and Shield(mainly Shield since that's the one I played). I was gifted it by a friend who didn't want her copy. She didn't have the DLC(nor did I feel like dropping extra money for it) so that'll be excluded from this. Thought I'd go ahead and do this in a "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" type format.

The Good:

Quality of Life Improvements/:

When I say quality of life, I mean two things. Firstly...FINALLY WILD POKEMON ARE IN THE OVERWORLD!!! Listen, is there a single person out there that enjoys random enemy encounters in RPGs? If you do like those, pls seek help/j

Ok but seriously, these were so nice. Never felt the need to stock up on repels, and finding a lot of the Pokemon I wanted to catch was easy. I did kinda dislike the mystery mons that would appear too(especially since some mons only spawned from those, like Applin). But that was a minor flaw. Overall I'm happy to see this, and if they ever go back to random encounters I will be fighting them.

The other is in how the tutorial section of this game feels. After Sun and Moon's tutorial feeling like it was never ending, I feel like this one was actually quite nice. Telling Hop "Yes I know what a Pokemon Center is," and having him actually go "Oh ok, then I won't explain anything" was very nice. I overall didn't feel like the game was aggressively destroying the pace with tutorials, and I appreciate that. Considering the fact that Sun and Moon's first island is something that holds me back from wanting to replay it lol.

The New Pokemon Designs + The Soundtrack:

Gonna group these as they both have to do with presentation. This generation definitely has added some designs that I really enjoy. Appletun, CorviKnight, and Obstagoon are just a few of my favorites. That's all I can really say to be honest. It's wild that Pokemon was on it's 8th generation at this point and it's still churning out fun designs. While Dynamax/Gigantimax(as we'll see later) isn't my favorite gimmick, the Gigantimax designs were super fun and epic to see in-battle. Overall, Pokemon once again succeeded at creating a good cast of new mons, that's all there really is to say.

The soundtrack was also great to hear, as expected from Pokemon. I enjoyed most of the tunes that played throughout the game, not much to say about it. Some of my faves were the gym battle music and the pre-Leon fight music(iykyk). The latter was super epic and fun to listen to while doing the penultimate boss of the game.

The Gym Challenges(kinda):

This is an aspect that lean into being both good and bad. Listen, in CONCEPT, gym challenges are great. It's really fun to have some type of mini challenge to do before facing the gym leader. And it's nice to deviate from the typical "go through gym, fight trainers on a linear path" system of past gens. That was one of the best things about Alola's island trials. I think SwSh wanted to find a way to mimic that with...mixed success

Milo and Kabu's gyms(I'm not googling their names sorry lol) are examples of where I think they succeeded. Was the herding Wooloo one particularly challenging or anything? No, but that's ok cause it's only the first gym. They probably could've added some other obstacles/yampers to make it harder, but eh, it was fine, and trainer fights being optional was great. It made me expect to see other unique minigames in the other gyms. The fire gym's challenge did a great job at putting a twist on gym trainers. There goal is to stop you from catching the wild mons to earn points, not to take you out in a 1v1, and that was neat! Overall the gym challenges were a neat concept and had some good executions, but as we'll see later some of the other gyms were horrible at it.

Quick note btw, I really enjoyed the gym battles themselves as well as the final cup. Felt like the gym leaders were actually trying to win, and Leon in particular gave me a bit of challenge. With all of the major positives out of the way, it's time for:

The Bad:

Gym Challenges:

Alright yeah let's get this out of the way. For the most part the gym challenges felt....rather uncreative/like things you'd see in another game. Nessa's gym straight up felt like any ordinary gym from another mainline game. Raihan's was just....double battles. Seriously? That was such a disappointing and boring as a concept, they could've done something more creative than "but what if the battles were all doubles and focused on weather?" I feel like there were gyms in previous games that tried to do a similar concept to what gym challenges were doing, with similar or more success. Examples would be Fantina's dimly lit gym focused on making your way through a maze with the flashlight, or Clay's gym in BW2 also being a bit of a maze. Yeah, there really isn't much to say about the gym challenges other than "They thought they did something unique, but all they did was give Pokemon Gym layouts a new name."

City/Route Design:

Oh boy. These towns/cities have got to be some of the most boring things EVER. Listen, previous games have definitely had some "meh" towns. But jeez....not as bad as this. Spikemuth is literally just a hallway. A HALLWAY. REALLY?!? So many of the towns had me running around to find things to do, but I just couldn't find NPCs saying anything interesting or fun. After a while I just gave up on doing that. Ballonlea is the biggest offender here. Visually the town is GORGEOUS, probably the prettiest location a gym has ever been in in a Pokemon game. But there's like...nothing to do. Nothing to do other than take on the gym, that's how most of Galar's cities can be described. This will play a role later when we disucss the....*shudders* writing of the story in the game. But yeah, they suck

The routes aren't much better off either. Many of them are very linear paths without much to do than battle trainers. Which btw, is it me or did it feel like trainers were sparse in some area. Don't get me wrong, I hate when they crowd areas with trainers, and I like that many of the ones here are avoidable but....I felt like I wasn't doing much battling(though luckily the shared exp, something I didn't mind at all, was good at keeping me up in levels). Routes felt like they had no little secrets to find, and I never felt an urge to backtrack. I probably coulda gone back with the water bike, but route were so short I doubt I would've found much.

The Wild Area:

Based on what I've seen of Scarlet/Violet, this feels like it was basically there way of testing how something more open world in a mainline game would be liked by Pokemon fans. And well, it was....ok I guess. It wasn't horrible to go through, and I liked that the Areas had differing weather that changed spawn rates. But the whole thing just felt like a tech demo than anything fleshed out. I would've rather just had more routes throughout the region to make it feel like we weren't speeding it through the gym challenge at mach speeds. It's not as bad as the plain cities/routes since you're not FORCED to go through it much, but it definitely feels like there was wasted potential here. The amount of options it made for teambuilding early on was probably it's biggest strength.

The Ugly:

Dynamaxing:

Ok listen. It's not as horrible as the other thing I'll discuss below. But it's just SOOO BORING. This has got to be my least favorite generational gimmick. Megas were really badass, and Z-moves might've been plain, but the fun animations made it cool at least. I haven't played SV so I can't speak for the terra stuff there. But you wanna know what was cool about gen 6 and 7's gimmicks? THEY COULD BE DONE ANYWHERE, NOT JUST SELECT BOSS BATTLES. I know that the game does have you doing gym battles pretty often as a big part of its narrative, but jeez. Restricting the gimmick like that just feels bad. And it doesn't really feel like dynamaxing is anything strategic anyways. You know any given opponent Gigantimaxes their last team member, so you may as well just save your Dynamax till then so you can easily last out the 3 turns or KO it with your own superpowered moves. The Gigantimax forms at least had unique designs, which is the only plus I'll give this system. Otherwise I'd say the gimmick insanely boring.

The God Awful Writing:

Putting extra emphasis here cause dear lord....THIS IS THE WORST WRITTEN GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED! I'm gonna break this down into just the narrative itself and then get into characterization.

First off, the plot. Or more so, the lack of one. Throughout the game everyone is telling you "just keep doing the gym challenge, just keep doing the gym challenge, just keep doing the gym challenge." Even when an emergency happens and whatnot, they tell you to not get involved, and thus there's nothing breaking up the gyms. This leads to the gym challenge feeling insanely fast-paced. When Milo, Nessa, and Kabu talk to you and Hop, I feel like it should feel like something, because completing the first 3 gyms is considered canonically impressive. But the game makes you go through these so quickly that I felt nothing. The pace is just too fast. The only mild breaks you get are talking to Sonia about the ancient legends, but all of the info is just things you randomly stumble on or have spoonfed to you. They want it to feel like some kind of mystery you're unraveling, but it doesn't feel like it. Going through some ancient ruins or locations to investigate in between gyms with her would've been a good way to space out the gyms more.

Now, you know what typically handles pacing issues like this? The presence of an evil team. Unfortunately our villain team here is team skull. Except they're not even an evil team. They're just a bunch of losers who are aggressively excited about cheering on Marnie. Marnie, btw, is a big old nothingburger. She has a neat design, but her personality feels like nothing, and she didn't feel like a good rival at all. Her writing puts her on par with the XY rivals cast imo. As such, since all Team Yell does is occasionally battle you for dumb reasons, they don't break up the plot much. The game instead decides it wants to make Chairman Rose. be a "twist" villain, which only happens during the championship matches. Which means the game only gets most of its proper story development AT THE VERY END! And now, let's consider this. An "evil team" that isn't even really trying to do anything that insanely evil, and a twist villain from the region's main corporation....

Yep. That's right folks. They wanted to replicate Team Skull and Lusamine. Except they failed. Cause Team Skull was a group of actual misfits, not just some cringe fans of some trainer they idolized. They had a badass theme, and Po Town solos Spikemuth. And Lusamine was written much better. We're shown immediately that the Aether Foundation is sus, and they did well writing her to just be someone who's truly obsessed with her research and the Ultra Beasts. Overall, the pacing here just sucks. The game is 90% gym challenge, 10% other story. They could've easily fixed this via the suggestion I had for Sonia earlier, as well as by allowing us to help Leon alongside Hop with the dynamax disasters happening. But nope, they didn't want us to. At least I can say that the big raid fight alongside the box art legendaries was cool and had a fun theme.

Lastly, I just want to discuss the writing of Hop and Bede. Now personally, I love these two. I love their personalities and mannerisms, and I enjoyed getting to see them...but their arcs definitely needed work. The fast pace of going through the gym challenges makes it feel like we've barely even seen Bede before he's kicked out of the gym challenge and later taken by Opal as her successor. Hop meanwhile highlights why I think Pokemon should have some forced losses. If they had made Hop an unwinnable fight the first 2-3 times(by simply making his Wooloo/other mons he's used better) it would've showed how he's entering the challenge with more experience than us. Then as we(and Bede) defeat him, that starts him down a spiral. Which btw, they were kinda bad at highlighting his inferiority complex. It's wild to say this, but this is a game that NEEDED padding. It needed that extra story stuff between gyms, cause the aggressive way the game railroads you down the gym challenge just makes the pacing and characterization suffer greatly

Conclusion/Overall Thoughts:

Despite all of my complaints there, I did at least like playing this game. It was some good old Pokemon fun, and the QoL improvements made it so I could at least had good stretches of doing my own thing(though those stretches were probably too long). I think I'd give it a solid 3/5, maybe a 2.75/5. Do I think it's worth the $60 price tag? Fuck no, definitely get it from someone else or try to find it used. But I definitely don't think it's AS bad as people made it out to be. An overall ok game, but definitely one on the lower end when it comes to Pokemon's mainline games.

EDIT: Actually upon reflection this is more of a 2 or 2.5 out of 5 lol. Sorry to SwSh fans, maybe if I get the DLC one day it'll rise up a bit. But for now I'm just not feeling it.

[a-dusty-individual]

Fuck it, here is the pros and cons to each game. This is all subjective, I do personally believe everything I am saying and know others who agree with me, too. The opinions of a complete stranger probably don't matter all that much, but I do want you to have a good time and enjoy yourself playing fallout. This is also pretty long, so I'm gonna put it below the cut.

Fallout 1 and 2

I put em together cause the pros and cons pretty much apply to both, and you should really play through 1 and then 2 for the best experience.

Pros

Where it all started

Written beautifully, moral choices especially are written great (given how 3 handles em this is pretty big)

Very fun turn based combat (based on gurps im pretty sure)

Exploration is fun and flows nicely

The characters, the voicing, the writing, the animations. All incredible.

Building your character feels meaningful since you get options to do certain things with different skills.

Both are set in the western USA, so there are links to FNV that the others don't really have.

Cons

Obviously, the games are very graphically outdated. Tbf to them they are almost 30 years old.

If you aren't used to games with the afformention turn based combat, I don't recommend starting here. They aren't very forgiving (as in my first time playing both, I died in the starting area multiple times.

Fallout 3

Pros (I fucking hate fallout 3 so much so this is hard for me)

There are occasionally some good bits in the story. I won't say any more so as not to spoil them.

Playing 3 will make a lot of 4 make more sense since 3 and 4 are the only games on the East Coast. Certain characters and concepts that appear in both for example.

Cons (thank god now, I can shit talk 3)

The game starts so fucking slowly. The intro is god-awful and honestly almost made me give up playing because I got really bored. It has also made me not want to play again because I know it's there.

The story is really not very well written at all. Again, I am not going to elaborate on that much because I dont want to spoil anything for you. But just know there are some decent sized plot holes, and the story really struggled to make me care about what i was doing and why. It is also very linear. You are just following a path the whole way.

Moral choices are shallow as hell. All of them boil down to "am i playing as a mass murdering psychopath or am I... not doing that." The game world also doesn't really react to these choices.

The gameplay gets really easy after a bit since the game is designed so that you can go anywhere right as you leave the vault. So the fame doesn't feel like it has a sense of increasing challenge. The raiders you fight are always the exact same difficulty.

Your character build outside of combat feels pointless since everything is just percentage based, so you can just save-scum speech options instead of worrying about building an actual character.

I am assuming since you mentioned playing 1 and 2 that you are on PC. So this game requires a PHD in computer science, and you must have at least 1000 years of tech-wizard training under your belt in order to get it to function properly on anything later than Windows 7.

Fallout: New Vegas (again)

Pros

Cmon, you already know this game is fantastic, frankly one of the best ever made.

You get to play again with a different faction or a different build or take a different companion around with you.

Motherfucking Robot Dog

Cons

You can't romance companions, which frankly is bullshit.

It isn't really something new for you. It could be worth going to a different game to get some new insight first.

Fallout 4

Pros

Obviously it is graphically the best

The weapon, armour, and power armour customization is wonderful.

Can finally romance companions.

Speaking of the companions are all great and have very nice storylines of their own.

It's a lot easier to mod than the rest (if that is your kinda thing, personally i love modding games, but tis up to you)

Has the same bonus new vegas does with having multiple factions to pick from.

Voiced player characters. Some people don't like this, but I do. Mostly because the voice actors did a fantastic job, and the same goes for the rest of the game's voice work

Cons

Has the same issue of a slow start and intro that 3 has. It isn't as long, and imo isn't as boring, but you still aren't right into the game like you are with 1, 2, and New Vegas.

The base-building. I'm just not a huge fan of it. Beyond the quests that require you to do it, I rarely touch it.

I don't like the radio host, especially compared to the smooth mf that is Mr Neeeewww Vegas and even Fo3's 3-Dog

They did the BoS diiirty.

Alright. I believe that is everything. Enjoy your time in whichever part of the wasteland you choose next friend.