#I just needed something happy after I completely destroyed their friendship in Called

[moonchild1]

park jimin fic rec list (Ⅲ)

woah it really has been a long time since i posted but i am so glad to be back and to get back into reading i saw so many of my favourite authors have updated and i am beyond excited to start this journey again but in the mean time here's jimin rec list as promised it was so exciting finishing this list cause i got so nostalgic making it and reading all the old fics i had on my reading list ughhh i just loved it so much and it got me back into the swing of things and i cant wait to make more lists, i do have another jjk list ready and i will post it the day after tomorrow so i hope you enjoy this one and don't forget to show all the love and support in the world to these amazing authors they work so hard to create these fics for us and they deserve endless praise and love for the commitment and generosity they have so please do leave them a comment, heart or reblog a small comment can go a long way here and can make someone smile even bigger so dont don't shy away from making someone happy... as usual you guys know this fics i recommend contain smut so minors don't interact you will be blocked... i really do love hearing from you guys so if you do have a little fic you are super into right now and you just want to rant about how amazing it is feel free to send me an ask 😊🖤

a- angst s- smut f- fluff

series

plot twist by @xpeachesncream f s a

↳ jimin isn’t interested in fake dating, but he’s definitely interested in getting to know someone the right way. after all, he feels like he’s ready to put himself out there and give it all he’s got. so, he takes a risk in trying something completely out of his comfort zone and hops on the new, popular dating app - only to come across and get to know someone he didn’t expect to meet.

a remedy for mondays by @dovechim s

↳ all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.

it’s okay, that’s love by @/dovechim f s a deals with deep subjects

↳ People are constantly making some kind of connection with each other- be it friendship or romance. But human bonds always lead to messy complications; commitment, sharing, driving people to the airport, letting them get up close and personal with the darkest parts of ourselves. And sure- it’s scary as hell to watch them cross those boundaries you’ve so meticulously drawn, but it’s okay, because that’s love.

so it goes by @/dovechim f s

↳ Park Jimin knows a lot about humans. of course he does, he studies them for a living. he knows that they say hello by holding hands, and when they say goodbye, they put their arms around each other. but this particular human, he notes, is unlike the rest- stuck in a slump, going about your day praying for the Universe to stage an intervention in the form of an alien abduction. when he decides to finally fulfil your wishes, he finds that you have a little something to teach him about what it means to live life on Earth the way you do: ugly crying, underwear and all. in return, he shows you the possibilities that abound if you simply adopted their mantra: everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.

love again by @taestefully-in-luv f s a

↳ A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

the other woman: the seduction and the illusion by @namjooningelsewhere f s a

↳ No one told you being the other woman would never be easy, No one told you that his love would be two sides to a same coin. No one told you he came to you because you were his escape to his demons. No one told you he would always call you his, but he would never be yours. And most importantly no one told you, He never loved you because you dont destroy the people you love.

FUTURE HEARTS by @jungblue f s a ft. jjk

↳ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook. 

after the applause by @foxymoxynoona

↳ Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far after the shattering of his world without the support of his thoughtful, generous, helpful neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it will take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.

saved by @to-star-lake s a

rockstar au deep subjects read warnings

midnight memories by @hobipaint f s a

↳ there's drunk habits, and then there's drunk mistakes. What do you call meeting your friend - no, ‘former friend’ - at a bar, getting drunk with him and sleeping- 'accidentally' - with him? especially when everyone already knows that you stay away from him as much as the day does from night?

Easy. You forget about it.

heartbreak chronicles by @sugaxjpg s

↳ Park Jimin had it all — good grades, a place as the soccer team’s captain and, more than that, the broken hearts of at least half the campus’ population. Though, one thing he did not have was someone willing to break his heart and, after you were dragged inside a miraculous plan to play that part, the last thing counted on was the preposterous idea that, perhaps, you could fall for him as well. 

drifting by@hongcherry f a

↳ After being assigned different partners for your midterm routine, your and Jimin’s relationship starts to deteriorate when you both begin spending more time away from each other and with your assigned partners instead.

growing pains by @taleasnewastime f s a

↳ Growing up the daughter of the boss of a gang is never easy, but normally the problems are around being given too many responsibilities, or the risk of being connected to a gang leader, or wanting to escape but not being able to. But you’ve got a different problem, you want more responsibility, want to be like your brother who’s been named heir, want a role in the family gang. Your whole life you’ve been denied what you want, being born a female seemingly your main issue; perceived as weak, naïve, trying to step above your station. But as unsupportive and dismissive as your family is, there is always the bright light that is Jimin; the boy you love but can never have.

tuqburni by @solastia f s a ft.myg

↳ You’ve spent two years building a life with Yoongi who you loved more than anything in the world. Now, his ex-boyfriend Jimin is back in the picture, and Yoongi begs you not to make him choose between the two of you, offering the choice of a polyamorous relationship. Though your heart is shattered, you agree.

stardust by @venusjeon f a

↳ struck by your beauty, Jimin begs to paint you naked behind the world's back so as not to stain your influential family—his patrons—with scandal.

drift by @snackhobi f s

↳ You used to think that there was nothing better than the sensation of coming first place. However, your rival- the talented, gorgeous, dangerous Park Jimin- is more than happy to prove you wrong.

the deli diaries by @jimlingss f

↳ Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.

best of me by @xotoosweet f a

↳ when he tells the story of how he met you in a few years, he'll claim that it was meant to be. you'll laugh and call it a coincidence. it was a coincidence that on the first day of summer semester, he decided to go on a run (though he claimed he always ran in the mornings). it was a coincidence that he chose a less traveled path in the university arboretum that morning. and it was definitely a coincidence that you were there, sitting on the rail of the river bridge.

the ten days of ex-mas by @kpopfanfictrash f s a

↳ Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

strip by @yoonia f s a

↳ Summary | Everything you have done has always been about surviving life and raising your child on your own. Having someone else caring about you was the last thing you had expected. Especially when that someone is the same man you have watched performing every night on stage and secretly admired. But will he run the moment he finds out about your little secret waiting at home?

falling by @/yoonia s a

↳ For Park Jimin, you are everything he will ever need—his assistant, his housekeeper, his task runner, his fairy godmother. For you, he is more than everything. You have dedicated your life for him and, before you even realised it, your heart belongs to him alone. The only problem is that he is never yours, and you are living in a world that your love for him is nothing more than a fairytale ending. As you are suddenly given a chance to wake up and face the real world, will you be ready to embrace it? Will he be ready to deal with the world without you in it?

wrapped around by @jjkfire ft. kth f s a

↳ Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type

baby, baby by @hobiwonder f s a

↳ When you’ve run out of savings to continue on to the last semester of your Bachelors - you take an unorthodox route. Helping a desperate couple have a child and getting paid for it? Heck yeah. But what do you know - it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.

love at first touch by bagelswrites (ao3)

↳ The first time you meet your soulmate, it leaves a bruise on both of you at the point of contact. From then on, your body begins rejecting any sustenance other than the touch of your soulmate. The trick is, the bruises take a few hours to appear, so you have to figure out who you've touched and find them before you starve to death. But once you do, all you ever need is them. So what happens if you're an idol and you meet your soulmate at a fan event?

our little family by @nightbts f a

↳ you were living a simple life filled with simple dreams; combining your two most loved things in life, children and teaching, you were starting out your career as a teacher at the local pre-school. but little did you know, how one child and her very special father, would change your simple life into something extraordinary

one-shot 35

brand new eyes by @missgeniality s

↳ Jimin’s eyes had potential to ruin you, and tonight you test the damage.

waves by @shina913 s

↳ It's Valentine's Day and your boyfriend decides to spice things up with a little surprise for you.

failure to communicate by @gukslut s

↳ Enemies to Lovers/ College AU

physical by @ppersonna f s

↳ you cant seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.

good for you by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids s

↳ Jimin can’t help the way he drowns himself in you. Why should he anyway?

ho-ho-home by @jjungkookislife s a

↳ Golden neighbor extraordinaire, Park Jimin, is (unintentionally) stealing your spotlight this holiday season. Despite your one sided rivalry with him, all Jimin wants is for you to remember him, to remember your past and hopefully create a future with you.

100km/hour by @chateautae s

↳ what exactly happens when you and your friends have to pile into one car for the ride home after an insane halloween party, and you find yourself sitting in park jimin’s lap? especially when he’s dressed as an angel, and you’re in the sluttiest devil costume ever?

what it's like by @jimilter s

↳ You’ve always heard great tales about how good the infamous fuckboy on campus, Park Jimin, is in bed, and wondered if there could be any truth behind these claims when the guy looks like an angel with his cheruby cheeks and precious smiles. So when a new gossip starts to circulate about how ‘hard he hits’, you have had enough of the suspense and decide to finally sample him yourself.

feel your touch by @/jimilter f s a

↳ You have always known yourself to be a sexual switch in bed, flipping between exercising and submitting control according to different situations and partners. And this camboy you are addicted to, one that seems to kinda reciprocate your interest, submits so beautifully that you just want to command him. But when things progress to levels you never anticipated, you end up discovering pleasant surprises that might just change your life.

the prince’s cinderella syndrome by @/jimilter f s a ft jjk

↳ He shows up at Halloween, every year, dressed the same, and leaves at midnight like some Cinderella. You would think he was a prankster if his eyes didn't look like they contained all the sadness in the world. You don't know him - no one on campus does. You don't know why he appears only once a year. You don't know why he never smiles. But you can't help falling in love with him. Even if he breaks your heart when he abandons you at midnight, again.

scream your panties by @opaljm s a

↳ As your midterms have ended and Halloween has arrived, you are looking forward to a pleasant time relaxing and enjoying the festivities at your sorority and Jimin’s frat houses. Luck is not in your favor, though, because things keep going wrong like a trail of dominoes falling – the only upside to your slowly deteriorating day being that you get to end it with your boyfriend’s delicious self between your legs.

first snow, last kiss by @taeshobipop f s a

↳ He broke your heart four years ago; the old loving memories of your time together now tainted by pure betrayal. Yet in the haze of new snow, after returning home for the first time, the moments you had once convinced yourself were nothing but a lie, reveal themselves to be otherwise.

antifreeze by @winetae s

↳ Jimin participates in the school’s adaption of The Nutcracker for extra credit but doesn’t expect his new dance partner to a) be this bad at dancing and b) be this fucking cute

what she likes by @untaemedqueen f s

idol au husband au marriage au

only you by @personasintro f s a

↳  you’ve been always there for your best friend, even when he became a single dad 

sucker by @/personasintro s a

↳ You wish you'd pay more attention to Jimin. Like, how his eyes kept changing color. How cold his skin was, too unrealistically to be natural. Or one second, he flashed you with his sharp canines and the next one he didn't have any. How much he craved for you, but not the way you thought he was.

please, lie to me by @ressjeon s a

↳ "centuries of loyalty vs. only months of fucking, how could you miscalculate?"

summer synchrony by @seokkgenie f s a

↳ childhood friends to lovers

neon seoul @readyplayerhobi f s a

↳ It the city of New Seoul, another homicide isn’t newsworthy but instead just a statistic. But when the son of the mayor is murdered in an alley in a shady part of the city? Then it’s important. You and your partner, Detective Park Jimin, are given the honour of investigating the crime. Will you find out who killed him? Or will you fail?

serendipity by @btsracket s a ao3

↳ It's serendipitous. Jimin braces for darkness but finds his light instead.

the boyfriend concept by @/kpopfanfictrash s

↳ Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.

Lovely Demons by @/kpopfanfictrash s a

↳ As penance for a crime committed long, long ago, the Witch Council banished you to the feared Tholoss forest. Your sentence was one hundred thousand days of solitude – or death, whichever came first. Your only hope of salvation comes from the demon names routinely sent your way; creatures who escape the inner circles of Hell and pose a threat to the mortal realms. For each demon you kill, days are removed from your sentence. For years you’ve existed, biding your time, until one morning you receive a name which throws your entire world into chaos: the name of Park Jimin, High Prince of Hell himself.

blue blood by @joonbird s a

↳ “Prince Jimin was born with blue blood. His coronation is rapidly approaching, but there are two requirements he must fulfil before becoming a king. He must have the skills to fight in battle, and he must have a Queen with blood as blue as his. You, a member of the royal guard, are assigned to teach Jimin the ins and outs of combat. You are not scared of death, of blood, or of battle. What you are scared of however, is falling in love with Jimin, the one man your blood decrees you can never have.”

i want to be with you by @oddinary4bts f s a

↳ moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?

locked in love by @parkmuse f s a

↳ Getting locked in the mall on Christmas eve isn’t ideal, but getting locked in the mall with your brothers best friend that you haven’t seen in a while? Well, it might have been alright if you didn’t have feelings for him.

peaches and cream by @snackhobi s

↳ you wouldn’t mind your cute neighbour being such a shameless fuckboy if a) the walls weren’t so thin and b) he didn’t seem intent on adding you as another notch in his bedpost. 

reset by @/dovechim s

↳ We are made of the pieces of what we remember, and we hold in ourselves the hopes and fears of those who love us. As long as there are memories to call our own, there can be no true loss. But Park Jimin has no such privilege. 

the dark side of the moon by @/dovechim s

↳ falling in love at first sight is cliche, not until it happens to you on a dark night in a lonely alley. but you’re only human, while Park Jimin is Alpha of his pack; it could never work out. so you resort to pining for him like a wolf howling at the moon, but when Jimin goes feral, that’s when everything changes. 

Unconditionally by @kstopping s a

↳ Jimin constantly torments you. But you love it.

Instinct by @evangelene f a

↳ A lost child appears into your life only to bring you closer Jimin–a man that you’d thought you’d hated once upon a time. Now all you want is to be there for the child, and maybe his father–but only if his mother gets the hell out of the way.

eternal sunlight by @kidguk f s a

↳ “college and soulmate au where the first words your soulmate will say to you are tattooed on your wrist. jimin thinks he met his soulmate exactly four months after he met and fell in love with you. you can’t explain your attraction or your feelings toward him, even though technically you’re meant to be with other people. taehyung and jungkook helpfully suggest that the universe might be glitching.”

foul play by @kimvtae f s a

↳ Everyone loves a good rivalry, and the students at your university are no exception. Unluckily for you, the rivalry of the decade is between yourself and a furiously irritating Park Jimin. A top gymnast and a basketball star shouldn’t cross paths, but Jimin makes his way into your heart before you can put a stop to it.

lost and found by @/kimvtae s a

↳ The only thing bigger than Park Jimin’s ass is his ego. After one too many scandals, after one too many mornings stumbling back to the dorms drunk or ruining the reputations of other idols, Jimin is given an ultimatum: complete a rehabilitation program in America or leave Bangtan.

if we were a movie by @/kimvtae f s a

↳ Friends with benefits never worked in the movies, but you and Jimin had been friends for so long, it was bound to work for you. Until, of course, Jimin gets a girlfriend, and you fear you may lose your friendship with him for good.

the pull of the tides by @goldenscript f s

↳ The expanse of the deep blue sea has always drawn you in. Each ebb and flow of the tides never ceasing to take your breath away. And now, a boy with hair as light as the morning sun and a smile just as bright does too. 

hard to say by @floralseokjin f s a

↳you've had feelings for your best friend Jimin for as long as you can remember, but you always thought they were unreciprocated. What if it turned out they weren’t...?

↬looking for pjm library or the other members check out my library

[dumbseee]

watching.

dabi had one weakness, and it was you.

dabi x fem!reader.

warnings: bad english/grammar :p, mention of murder, violence.

genre: angst.

note: i want touya to have a happy ending :( / maybe i’ll do a part two.

_

you met touya in kindergarten, his mother was close to yours and introduced you to him because he was too shy to make friends by himself. you immediately handed out your tiny hand towards him with your biggest smile, while he looked at it with wary eyes. he looked up at his mother who nodded towards you and he grabbed your hand. that sealed your friendship with touya todoroki. ever since, you two were inseparable, always with one another and you still remember his gorgeous smile.

your mother was the one to break the news to you, she sat you down on the couch and muted the tv. you could feel that something was wrong, you saw how red and swollen her eyes were and when she took your hands, you felt her hands tremble slightly. when she told you that touya had passed away in a fire accident, you cried for weeks. you couldn’t sleep at all, your sleep was ruined by nightmares, you could hear touya’s screams, his cries for help. you wished you could’ve helped him, your quirk could’ve been useful since you could control water. but you were just a kid, how were you supposed to help?

years had passed and you still thought about touya, you stil kept the teddy bear he gifted you for your sixth’s birthday and you still hugged it tightly at night. sometimes you’d even talk to the sky, asking him if he had a good day up there or if he was watching over you from heaven. well, little did you know that touya was actually looking after you, but he was way closer to you than you thought.

when touya became dabi, he wanted to forget about his past, his only focus being taking his revenge on his father and destroying the hero society. but you kept popping up in his mind, he couldn’t forget you nor could he ignore the little voice whispering your name in his head. it wasn’t hard for him to find you, even years later, he quickly learned that you graduated on top of your classes, and became the number two’s hero, hawks’s personal assistant. when touya saw that, he laughed, apparently fate wanted these two to meet again. of course, touya needed hawks anyway for his plan, but you being his assistant was a major plus.

when he saw you for the first time in years, his breath got caught up in his throat as he witnessed how you blossomed into a gorgeous and confident woman. touya fell in love with you the minute he first saw you, back in kindergarten, but when he saw you again after so many years of being apart, he fell ten times harder. your hair had grown a little longer, now falling down your waist, your smile was still the prettiest sight he’d ever seen, your eyes still had that light in them, the light he’d been longing for since he left, and your laugh was still his favourite melody. he was completely down for you, he couldn’t stay away from you for too long, he needed to hold you, talk to you, take you. you belonged to him, and he couldn’t stand the fact that anyone could look at you, be close to you, meanwhile he had to hide in the shadows of the night, away from you.

touya followed you back home almost every night, he needed to make sure you made it safely inside your apartment he already broken into, when you were at work. he grinned when he walked into your room, it was so you, pictures of friends or family decorating your walls, painted a light pink while your bed was perfectly made. touya let himself fall on your bed, crossing his arms behind his head while he looked at the ceiling. if he closed his eyes he could hear your laugh, he could imagine a world where you two got to be together and live happily ever after, move in together, get married and have a ton of annoying gremlins running around and calling him dad. touya didn’t even feel the bloody tear that rolled down his scarred cheek. he let a dry laugh leave his lips. he could never have that life and be knew it.

as touya stood up and was ready to leave before you could comeback, he noticed the old teddy bear he gave you when you two were still innocent little kids. his eyes widened at the thought of you still thinking about him, after all these years. maybe you loved him too? maybe you were still looking for him? touya knew his family told the world that their eldest son tragically passed away in a fire, but he knew you couldn’t have fall for this stupid story. you were clever enough to know that he couldn’t have died like that. he couldn’t have left you behind, how could he? lost in his thoughts, touya didn’t even hear the sound of keys and the door opening before closing in a rather loud "thud". that sound made him regain his senses, for a second he considered staying there, in your room, waiting for you to come in and see him. but it wasn’t the right time, he’d comeback, and he’d comeback for you.

when you walked into your room, you frowned when you saw your bed all wrinkled up and your teddy bear on the floor. the faint smell of cigarette, wood and whiskey laying in the air as well. you opened the window but was surprised to see it slightly opened already. have you left it open this morning? you shrugged it off, you left in a hurry so it could’ve been the case. you started to strip away from your clothes, to take a quick shower, while touya landed on his two feet, he looked up at your window and grinned to himself. you never forgot him.

you noticed some strange changes in your life lately, the weird smell you smelt in your room a few weeks ago, kept coming back and you wondered where it could come from. you didn’t smoke so why would your room smell like cigarettes? same goes for alcohol, you never drank even a drop of whiskey, so why would it smell like it? your teddy bear kept moving places, you even considered your apartment being haunted, the idea kinda creeped you out, you hated ghosts. but it couldn’t be that, ghosts didn’t exist and even if they did, dead being couldn’t have a smell. you also had this weird feeling of being watched, no matter where you were, in a crowded room at work, in the subway, even in your room, you felt eyes on you and it scared you shitless. what if you had a stalker? what if a crazy serial killer was after you and you’d end up on those true crime documentaries? you shook your head and laughed at your own paranoia.

you turned around in your bed and smiled softly at your teddy bear, you grabbed it in your hands and lift it in the air. "you must think, i’m going insane hm?" you mumbled, a vague image of touya appeared in your mind, it was an old memory of him when you had scraped your knee pretty badly and touya carried you on his back till you arrived at your house. nobody was there so he went to look for a bandaid and helped you. he stayed with you till your mother came back from grocery shopping, even though it would make his father upset. without noticing it, a single tear rolled down your cheek. you cleared your throat and hugged the teddy bear, tightly against your chest. "i miss you so much, touya." you were curled up on your bed, hugging your last souvenir of touya and cried yourself to sleep. meanwhile, in the league’s hideout, touya is lying down on his bed, a hand behind his head and the other holding his phone. he had hidden a small camera inside the teddy bear when he sneaked into your apartment once. as weird as it sounds, touya only wanted to feel closer to you, hear your voice, you always slept with the teddy bear in your arms, which made him feel like he was actually laying next to you. "i miss you too, doll."

the next day, you came back from work, exhausted and frustrated from the bad day you had thanks to one of your coworkers. you were on the phone with your friend, letting out all your frustration. "seriously what is wrong with him? he always single me out during meetings, talking about how my ideas aren’t that good, how dare he? i’m way above him on the food chain, he tends to forget that a lot." you got into your room, smiled at your teddy bear, an habit you picked up a while ago, you removed your jacket and immediately put it back into your dresser. you put your hair up with a claw clip and sat in front of your vanity, removing your earrings while your friend was agreeing with you. "right? he’s so full of himself and does he think i don’t hear all the disgusting things he says about me to tanaka? this motherfucker really thinks i don’t see him looking under my skirt? ugh! i hate him so much, yuri!" you hummed in response to your friend’s answer, "you’re right, maybe i should tell hawks? he’s so sweet, i’m sure he’d help me out." you quickly ended the call after that, eager to wash yourself and eat before jumping on your sofa to watch your favourite comfort show. what you didn’t know is that a certain unstable fire villain heard everything and would take matters into his own hands before fuckass hawks could do anything.

when you went back to work the next day, something was going on and you felt it the second you walked into the building. one of your coworker quickly grabbed your arm to tell you the news. "terushima is dead!" he went straight to the point and your eyes almost came out your sockets. "he got killed by the villain dabi, you know him right? apparently he recorded the whole thing and poor terushima suffered so much, it was a terrible sight." you couldn’t speak, truly stunned by the news, what were the odds? you basically cursed him out a few hours ago and now he was dead? killed by no one but the infamous dabi? thinking about the villain made you shiver. "and that’s not it! dabi also tortured tanaka to have informations on terushima! he went to him first then went to terushima. tanaka is still at the hospital but apparently he’s alive." you felt nauseous all of a sudden, you took a step back and immediately ran away from your poor coworker, even as he called your name, you ran outside, inhaling fresh air as you felt sweat cover your forehead, your whole body was shaking from shock. you wouldn’t mourn terushima, he was a pain in your ass, and tanaka was nothing but a dirty pig as well. but the fact that you talked about these two men just yesterday and now one was dead and the other was at the hospital. the coincidence was too much for you, you called in sick and went back to your apartment.

you kicked your shoes and immediately went to the fridge to take out a fresh bottle of water, downing it almost entirely. you frowned when you saw a piece of paper sitting on your table. it was a handwritten note, you felt shiver down your spine as you read it.

"they won’t bother you anymore."

you let the note fall on the ground, your legs felt like jello now and you had to grab the counter to steady yourself before you could join the note on the floor. you struggled to breath as you now understood that the call you made yesterday and what happened to terushima and tanaka wasn’t a scary coincidence. the note wasn’t signed but you knew who left it here, dabi. dabi came here, dabi heard you, dabi took revenge for you, dabi knew you. but why would he do that? why would he take a liking to you? how could he even notice you? you were scared now, a villain was after you and you could be his next victim soon. you quickly grabbed your phone and started to dial hawks’s number. he was your boss but also your friend, he’d help you. but as you were about to dial the last digit, you felt a presence behind you. and you remember not closing the door. you swallowed the lump in your throat and slowly turned around, your eyes widened and you let out a small cry as you recognised dabi, in all his glory, hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable as he stood tall in your living room. he closed the door with his feet and looked at you.

"w-what are y-you doing here?" he came for you, he was going to murder you in your own home. you saw dabi chuckle and you almost fainted when you saw him take a step closer to you. he didn’t answer you, his eyes were weirdly familiar to you, a turquoise blue, same as touya’s. the thought of your old friend made you realise that you’d soon join him in the afterlife and somehow, the thought comforted you. dabi was now in front of you, a few inches separating you two as he looked down at you. "it’s been a while, y/n." his voice was deep, a little hoarse and you saw him smile softly at you. what the? thee dabi smiling? you were dreaming, it had to be a dream! or a nightmare. "i didn’t think you’d keep that old teddy bear for so long, but i’m glad that you did." and it hit you, almost instantly as the words left his mouth, you realised.

touya todoroki was in front of you. your touya.

silent tears immediately started to roll down your cheeks as you looked at his pretty eyes, his gorgeous turquoise orbs you so often thought about how nice it would feel to drown in them. silence fell upon you as your mind was spinning, you felt your legs give up on you and dabi was quick to grab you, both of his hands on your waist, yours pressed on his chest as you were still lost in your thoughts. you let a hand slowly stroke his cheek and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh of relief. you quickly removed your hand, which made him frown. "t-touya?" your voice broke at the end of his name. "it’s me, y/n. i never left." now you were nothing but a sobbing mess, you didn’t know how to handle this. your touya was standing in front of you and you didn’t know how to take it. touya didn’t come back as the joyful and cheeky kid, he came back as a demon called dabi.

"you’re not my touya." you mumbled, pushing him away from you, you moved away so you were now giving your back to the door, just in case you had to run. touya felt his heart explode at your words. "how- how could you do this? what happened to you? what happened to the kid i used to know? this isn’t you. it can’t be!" you yelled, years blurring your vision, but you angrily wiped them away. of course, you weren’t aware of the trauma touya had to go through. "i can explain everything." he simply said, taking a step closer to you, this time you didn’t move away. "you can explain what? killing dozens of innocents? joining the league of villains? you’re literally one of the main instigator of this fucking league!" you pushed his chest, clearly still angry and touya couldn’t hold that against you. he just wanted to hold you, soothe you, tell you that everything would be fine. but touya couldn’t do that, because he didn’t know how to do that, he didn’t know how to react in these type of situations, no one ever comforted him, beside you. which explain the insane amount of patience he had right now, he knew he wouldn’t hurt you, he would never forgive himself if he did.

"i want you to leave." you said, looking up at him, eyes full of rage but also sadness. you were devastated, you dreamed of this moment, you never really believed that touya died in that fire. you always felt like he was still out there, doing god knows what, well you were right, but at what cost? touya felt anger and frustration build up inside of him, he wanted to yell at you, tell you that he had no choice, he had to continue with his plan, he had to take revenge, he had to. "not before you listen to me, then i’ll leave." you crossed your arms against your chest and gave hime the sign to continue. "the number one hero, endeavor." just saying his name made him want to burn this whole place, but you were here. touya took a deep breath and all of a sudden, he was back in kindergarten, in front of a pouty y/n who was waiting for an explanation as to why touya had broken your favourite doll. the memory almost made him smile, but now he was in front of a y/n that despised him and his actions, your beautiful eyes lacked their usual light, you threw daggers at him and he felt them stab his already broken heart. "you know what," he lift his hands up as surrender and headed towards the door. "you should take a day off tomorrow and watch the news." he smiled at you before leaving your apartment.

you couldn’t believe it, the moment he closed the door, you fell on the ground. bawling your eyes out, your heart yelled at you for not hugging him, not telling him how much you missed him, how hard you prayed for this day to happen. but your brain praised you for doing the right thing. touya did died in that fire, dabi was what remains. and dabi wasn’t your friend.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

NWhile you're doing pokemon, might i ask, for a platonic headcanons ofseeiven, Penny and Nemona x reader,

where reader's showing them the snowy cat weasel legendary pokemon that was sealed away(i forget names atm-), i can picture arven at least being concerned seeing the dex's entry for it as reader's just all "oh but it's a sweetheart! Don't be so worried!" as theyre giving the pokemon that no doubt would absolutely cause a devastating avalanche if the reader wasnt there scritches and pats/lh

feel free to ignore just thought it could be amusing!/lh

-salt anon(stay safe btw!)

This is perfect timing bc I caught Chien-Pao today (and also Ting-Lu, my fav) after struggling and restarting the game a lot

............

After Ms. Raifort piqued your interest in the "Treasures of Ruin", you set out to free them from their confinements, knowing these poor things were taken advantage of centuries ago.

You believe they could still be helped. It wasn't too late! All they needed was love and friendship, things you were more than happy to provide.

Of course, pulling the stakes that sealed the Icerend Shrine and challenging Chien-Pao afterwards was no cakewalk, but you caught it after convincing it to come with you, promising to give it a better life.

The feline ice-type was surprisingly quick to warm up to you after you gave it a bath during a picnic, figuratively melting its icy heart. 

You took great care in shining its sword fangs, smiling when it purred in thanks before taking a nap in the grass, curled up.

It becomes harder to believe this sweet creature had a hand in destroying an entire kingdom.

Soon after, you decided to call your friends so they could see it for themselves.

As expected, Nemona was the first to arrive, psyched to see a Pokémon she's only heard about in books. 

She could immediately tell it was quite strong (despite it being cuddled up to you when she got there).

"..and you're gonna let me fight it one day, right?" She dares to ask, taken aback when Chien-Pao wakes up and looks at her in disdain.

You just laugh and shake your head, giving the Ruinous Pokémon chin scritches. "Unless you wanna be swept away by an avalanche..I don't think so. Besides, I think it's been through enough fights in its life."

Not long after her arrival, Penny and Arven show up, completely shook(tm) at the existence of this bizarre Pokémon.

Penny’s surprised it was just stuck in its own little cave all these years, while Arven’s curious about what the Pokedex says about it.

But when he finds out..well...to say he’s just “concerned” is a huge understatement.

He’s downright scared for you, having no clue how you tamed it and fearing the repercussions of freeing it.

“...[y/n], this thing is more than just a Pokémon..it’s...it’s got a bunch of souls in it--angry souls of people who hated that “king”. It also causes terrible avalanches and-”

“Oh give it a rest, Arven...does this look like the face of someone who’d cause terrible avalanches?” You pouted, holding either side of Chien-Pao’s face as you stared at him. “Do you see any hatred here? Because I don’t.”

When he has no answer, you resume patting its head, treating it like a big ol’ kitty that was simply misunderstood.

Even Penny becomes brave enough to pet its back, only to freeze when it sends an icy gaze at her. “Uh....sorry...?”

She thinks she did something wrong and is about to invoke the wrath of this ancient beast....

Until Chien-Pao purrs and nuzzles her cheek, invading her personal space just like Koraidon/Miraidon did all those times, causing you to chuckle and shake your head.

You could only hope to nurture the other three in the quartet into sweet and cuddly creatures like this one.

[zankaboo]

(this post is going to be kinda chaotic because I have many thoughts to share but I'm struggling with being coherent right now)

I'm 28 and I still live with my parents. But I think I need to seriously start considering moving out, or something.

Living with my parents never bothered me much. Part of me was happy about it because like, why should I move out and take care of myself if I can live with someone else and not worry about anything?

But recently I've been trying to work on my issues and I feel like I'm never going to fully heal unless I escape my mother. She is abusive. She's been messing with my mind for so many years that I don't really feel like my own person. I'm almost 30 and I don't know who I am, I don't know how to be an adult. I don't even know what kind of clothes I like to wear. My mom doesn't care much about my emotional well being, she criticizes everything I do. She cares about me in general, I know that and I know that she loves me in her own way but the way she treats me is destroying me. Now that I've started to really think about where all my problems came from, the only source I can think of is my mom. She made me hate myself. I self harmed because of her. I shed so many tears because of her. Nothing else fucked me up as much as my mom. She hates herself too and she projects all of her issues on me. And because of her I believed that I'm ugly and worthless as a person. My dad kinda sucks too, not as much, but he hurt me deeply a few times.

I love my parents tho. Even after all the shit they did to me I love them. My mom can be a very funny person if she wants to be. My dad too. But they hurt me so much. And I want to be away from them.

I've been trying to love myself, my looks, my personality. I stopped all the self depriciating jokes, I stopped calling myself ugly or saying "I hate myself" or "I'm going to kill myself". It's only been like two months but I can already feel the difference. Sometimes I look at my body in the mirror and I see something desirable now. And it's an awesome feelings. I'm really starting to see that change is possible. A better life is possible. And I really want it. For the first time in my life I really want to change things.

But I just don't know what to do. My mother controlled everything in my life, she made most decisions for me. So despite some improvements in my mental health, it all feels so out of reach right now.

I'm very lonely. Despite living with two people, I'm lonely. I get to hang out with my coworkers often and they're all cool people but those aren't really meaningful relationships. I don't have people that I can hang out with after work, or chat with, or call. But I spent so many years in isolation, I don't even know how to make friends. I think I have ADHD too which also might make those things harder for me (I heard that people with ADHD struggle with making friends and stuff). I lost every single school friend, even those that I considered to be close friends. I don't know if it's all my fault or if other people were at fault too. But for some reason almost no one wants to try to maitain a friendship with me and it's so upsetting.

I'm afraid of even looking for friends. I'm afraid of letting anyone know that I can't take care of myself, that I don't know the basics of adulthood. It is very embarrassing. I can't let people know that I'm like this, so helpless and clueless. Getting a boyfriend is completely out of the question at this point. I mean who the fuck would even want to love me romantically now? No one wants an adult baby. And this stings so fucking bad now because I've become infatuated with such a nice and funny guy and I haven't been able to think about anything else but him. If I could at least be friends with him, I would be so fucking happy.

I don't even feel alive to be honest. I'm just existing. I want to live, I want to meet new people, I want love and sex, I wanna go to concerts and find new hobbies. I want to make more art and improve my skills since it's my main hobby, I've always loved drawing. I want to try new mediums like painting or sculpting. I'd like to play some instrument too. But it feels out of reach now.

I really don't know what to do, where to start. I'm so lost.

I can't ask my parents for advice. I really wish I had someone who would teach me how to be a person, how to be an adult.

I don't want a life like this.

[britishassistant]

A twst and NeverAfter crossover! A Twisted Neverland! There are so many possibilities!

Warning: NeverAfter/twst chapter 7 spoilers

I imagine the RSA princes’ motives might be a combination of the Fairies and the Princesses; something like, destroying twisted wonderland in order to return to the “true” version of the story. Because imagine how unfair it must feel to go from being the most important character in your story to barely even getting a name. I could see that leading to a mindset of setting right what once went wrong, only their definition of “right” is a bit myopic. Nevemind that their plan would doom all of the NRC students because “they’re villains, villains don’t deserve happy endings”

I know he’s taking the role of the Stepmother but Malleus’ goal also gives him a lot in common with the Baron of Bricks. A beginning with no ending. And a conflict with death (which is perfect since Idia, twisted from the ruler of the underworld, is gonna go up against him in canon). Perhaps that’s why he’s not too far gone to save? Because he doesn’t want to completely destroy everything, instead he wants to preserve certain parts of the story at the expense of everything else. Or is he at a point of “if I can’t have you no one can”?

What’s Lilia’s role in this? I can’t imagine he’d willingly go along with this insane plan if he understood what was going on, considering his reaction at the party. So is he being controlled? I guess that would mean Silver is in a similar position to Pinocchio.

If the students are sticking to the script doesn’t that mean that Yuu has to meet with Malleus? Not very often (thank god) but I doubt he’d take kindly to being denied their friendship, not after everything he’s sacrificed to keep it. Man, imagine meeting this eldritch creature and being expected to act all clueless and call him Hornton like you’re not painfully aware that he wants to eat you or something.

And are all the students aware of the nature of their world? Was it harder for some of them to awaken than others? Specifically the ones without an obvious analog from the other stories? Like Jack, or those twisted from plot devices instead of characters? (Epel: I’m a goddamned apple)

Sorry for the long disjointed rant, your au just combined my two current hyperfixations:D

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

These are literally my two hyperfixations right now, I am vibrating in place—

(Also this is just one of the two possible crossovers I’ve had in mind. After all, if Disney interpretations of fairy tales exist within Neverafter, who’s to say our intrepid heroes couldn’t wash up on Sage Island one fine morning?)

And yes that is what’s happening with the RSA princes—much like the Neverafter princesses they have basically decided that the villainous world of Twisted Wonderland is only making people residing in it unhappy as things get worse and worse every run. Therefore the only way to save everyone and make them happy is by making sure this backwards, twisted world no longer exists.

Yes, Malleus’ goals are basically an amalgamation of the two—like when the stepmother started out and the Baron, all he wants is a way to keep Lilia from getting sick and to keep his human in Twisted Wonderland without needing to ever worry about parting. Except, then he discovered that his story was written to be a tragedy where he confronts loss and learns to move on despite it. And in his current mindset, the being formerly known as Malleus Draconia was not prepared to accept that this narrative would only take from him that which he held dear.

Isn’t it better that he sacrifice the very thing binding him to this tale, the name of the heir to the Valley of Thorns, if it means he can surpass the Thorn Fairy and destroy all that which is unnecessary to his happiness? Even if his current power is insufficient to do so, all he needs to do are consume the other manifestations of “Dorm Head” or “Villain” until he is the only being left with any claim to these titles, no?

He’s not quite at the point of “if I can’t have you, no one can” but he is getting there. Oh boy is he getting there.

Lilia, Crowley and by extension Sebek are trying to work against the Diasomnia Dorm Head to get things Back on Track (or what they think Back On Track is). As fae, they’re a bit more aware of the ways in which the narrative should run, and the beings whose attentions they do not wish to attract for fear of them making the story worse.

For Lilia and Sebek this is hard as they need to try and keep Diasomnia running like how it was when the Dorm Head was still mostly person shaped, while ensuring no one deviates from the script by force, if they must. They can’t do much about the Dorm Head, as he’s basically drifting around doing whatever he wants to try and gain more power, but for the more human students? Well, it’s not like these individual, self-centered mages can really fight back against Crowley or Lilia’s capabilities, right? Just stick to the plan and everything will be fine, they promise.

Of course, this is without the additional factor that every parallel version of Twisted Wonderland our heroes end up in after they die incorporates more of the darker and grittier aspects of the original tales than the ones before it.

Kalim al-Asim hasn’t had the freedom to think for himself since the start of the year, for example. Crossing the Octavinelle trio is a sure fire way to find yourself vanished without a trace, the dorm students of Ignihyde seem to be halfway to the underworld already, and some say the dorm head of Heartslaybul will paint the roses red with the blood of those who fail to live up to his exacting standards.

Yuu, Grim, Silver, Rook and Ortho are all part of Team “maybe we shouldn’t have to follow our stories to the letter to find happiness but we don’t want the world destroyed either thnx”.

Grim, quite understandably, does not want his story to end with him turning into a monster that either kills his friends or gets killed by them, and so is trying to find a way to avoid this fate.

Silver and Rook, thanks to their more light-aligned origins, are similar to the RSA students in that once they’ve “awoken” they’ll stay that way across every version of themselves. Silver is taking it much harder than Rook is, though it’s not easy for him either.

Ortho, thanks to Idia modifying his memory databanks so they can be transferred across dimensions, is able to pretty much “awaken” whenever an alternate version of him is destroyed.

Yuu’s notebook, which they originally used in their Villainous Paranoiac ‘verse to record everything that happened to them and try to figure out a way to prevent overblots, functions very much like Timothy Goose’s storybook, if more…prone to overwriting its wielder with the memories stored within.

Most of the students who “wake up” usually join this side as well. It’s actually much easier for the students who aren’t twisted from defined character within their story to “awaken”. After all, it’s much harder for a person to be twisted into a worse version of their story counterpart if that counterpart is say, an apple, a pair of cards, or a wolf that never appeared in the first place.

Thank you for ranting though! I really enjoy reading through things like this!!

[caesarandthecity]

The Painful Path of Self-Knowledge

Self-knowledge hurts. It breaks you. Turns you inside out. Suddenly, you start seeing the world with different eyes, from a new perspective, in a completely different reality. And this new reality, at first, it hurts. It’s painful. Because it’s not what you want to see, it’s what you need to see. I watched people I loved become the worst versions of themselves, right before my eyes, in the blink of an eye.

Self-knowledge, if you allow it, changes every aspect of your life. And all you need to do is embrace it. Even where you thought there was order, self-knowledge brings chaos, destroys everything, and then rebuilds it all over again, in a solid, authentic way that truly connects with who you are.

Self-knowledge is a dance, an activity, maybe even a hobby. You spend time with it, then step away, only to return and dive deeper. It’s a constant dance. You question everything in your life. Questions and answers arise like a game, and before you know it, superficial issues lead you to dive into something much deeper, something hidden deep in your soul, waiting to be brought to the surface. This journey to bring what’s hidden to the surface is the true "Hero’s Journey." It’s mine, it’s your journey. It comes from deep within the soul, where self-knowledge reveals your true self, your essence, what you really came to be in this world.

And self-knowledge is liberating. Because it gives you such an understanding of yourself that, inevitably, you begin to understand others better. You start noticing energies, feelings, pain, hurt, joy... things that once went unnoticed. It’s not just about seeing, it’s about feeling together. It’s understanding that the emotions someone shows are real and match what they’re expressing, and vice versa. It’s beautiful, but it’s painful. For me, it was devastating because it made me reevaluate all my relationships, and I realized that in all of them, I was being abused.

I had to take action. I had to cut those people out, one by one. Because I learned that where there is abuse, there is no love. Dependence is much more painful than love. I grew up being abused by a family I believed was mine, and I learned that it was never love. It was always abuse. Always. And I had to cut them out, one by one. Along with that, I reevaluated all my friends, my friendships, what I thought was true friendship. And that hurt even more.

I had friends I thought would be forever, friends who were like brothers and sisters, you know? The kind of friends you imagine you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life. But those relationships I had to reassess. And after understanding that I needed to cut them out, I realized I was much happier, complete, and free... alone. I know people are afraid of this. Who wants to reassess a marriage when they know they’re not happy? Who wants to reevaluate their relationship with their parents when they believe they’re perfect, and that they deserve to suffer? Who wants to rethink their job when it gives them status and money, but not happiness? Who wants to face the mirror, knowing they don’t like what they see and do nothing to change it? Who wants to accept their own flaws, their own shadows, bring them to light, work on them, embrace them? Who wants to ask for forgiveness for all they’ve done, and worse, learn to forgive for those apologies that were never received? Who wants to see the lies told right to their face, coming from the ones they love the most?

Self-knowledge is a war you have to fight. But the most interesting thing about this war is that there is only one winner, and that winner is you. In self-knowledge, you don’t lose, nor do you win. You learn. And there’s no other path but to move forward and rise.

A life without self-knowledge is a life not lived. And for those who feel the call, don’t deny it. Just begin the journey.

[wmucody]

TITLE: In Melancholy, Admission Is Born. DATE:  Wednesday 28th February. 2 days after this interaction. SONG INSPO: Happiness by The Fray. SUMMARY: A drunken Cody contemplates reaching out to Frannie. OOC: A gift for Justine as WMU closes.

It had been 48 hours since Cody last saw Frannie. Since he crumbled any last foundations that could have been shaped into a platonic friendship - out of sheer reactiveness when she informed him that she wanted to be with Sam instead. It was his most toxic trait. To destroy something out of impulsiveness. To do before he thought. It wasn't the choosing of the other that had gotten to Cody because in all honest if he was Frannie, he would pick Sam over him too. It was the reality that she knew things about him that he didn't dare tell anyone before. And now she was a stranger with his deepest secrets.

His eyes narrowed at the sunlight, his facial reaction wincing at the same time. It was 7am and he had just been leaving an underground club on the outskirts of Lima. After his shifts at Scandals he stayed behind with a few other regulars who told him about the joint. And with his state of mind these days he wasn't one to turn down a potential good time. That was his problem. He couldn't go home. Because then he would be stuck with his thoughts.

Scrolling down his cracked iPhone screen, Cody was looking for the name of a taxi driver he was on first name basis with and who he has quite an established relationship with, who would save him in these certain times of needs when he just needed back home. The scrolling stopped in his tracks when he saw the contact name. Frannie Fabray. With a contact photo when they were both at the Fabray household, drunken and completely in awe of each other.

His fingers hit the green call button without thinking. The call automatically going to voicemail. As he slumped down on the building, his knees brought up to his chest and his head hanging cowardly, Cody listened to his options of leaving a voicemail. And without thinking, he began to ramble.

"Hey. I know you don't wanna hear from me.. and I know this is selfish of me calling you up, at this hour in the morning, with how intoxicated I am, when you're probably sleeping next to Sam. But I miss you. I miss you terribly, and the way you just got me, and how I got you, and how nothing else really mattered. Not even in a romantic sense. But, damn, remembering the pressure of your lips has been the cause of air being dragged from my lungs numerous times. But that doesn't matter now. Not a lot of things do. But I just want you to know I'm thankful for you. Because after months of feeling nothing deeply enough in my heart since walking away from Cedes, you made me remember I do have the ability to feel something other than the temporary pleasure I feed into my life. And, even in our times of not speaking, I will always remember us for what we had and not what we are now."

Clearing his throat, Cody listened to the phone operator. Press 1 to listen to your voicemail, press 2 to send, press 3 to cancel and hang up. His thumb grazed over number 2 but ultimately pressed down on number 3 before sliding his phone into his pocket, pushing himself to his feet as he began the shameful walk back to the campus grounds.

[sichore]

💖💚and🧡?

Y'all know what time it is. I've only shared my personal timelines but not any extensive thoughts on what I actually think about Metalocalypse. At least not on tumblr. So let's gooooooooo

💖 What's your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

I genuinely don't know what popular opinions there are for the series as a whole! So for me my “biggest” unpopular opinion for the show is just what I feel most strongly about.

And it's how season 4 was a crock of shit and I dearly wish we could have gotten a do-over.

I know there was a lot of executive meddling involved, that Brendon had pumped the show full of lore and character exploration that the network and writers (or at least Tommy Blancha) didn’t aim for. I get that! And visually season 4 is a treasure.

But what we got that we have to take as canon is absolutely trash. The lack of exploration for Magnus and how all we get is him being “evil and kuhRAzy” was complete shit, considering there had to have been a bigger story there. I don't buy Brendon's old tweet about him being nothing more than an abusive asshole because why would he not only have that sympathetic shot in DSR during “Do It For My Brother”, but 10 years have Nathan pointedly grieving him all through AOTD? I call bullshit. Magnus was a founding member of Dethklok so the fact that we got nothing after all this time is just fucking terrible.

And then there's Abigail. I could make a whole post about her but I'd be shouting into a void. All these platitudes about how she should've gotten better knowing good and damn well that the majority of this fandom does not care that she was set up for failure as a Black female character who “got between” a favored mlm ship, even when it was blatant that Abigail didn't want to be there. She should have been integrated better. We got all the signs that she's just as wacky and unhinged as the guys but her only screen time in canon was Questionable, and in fandom she's reduced to a babysitter. Trash.

And do not even get me started on the Nathan+Pickles relationship and conflict. We had three whole ass seasons to show them being supposedly super best friends so the reveal of the friender bender came out of nowhere and now serves as the lynch pin of their relationship. And that's bullshit! Where was the set up? Where's the history of them also being founding members, the leaders, of Pickles being a former frontman and industry vet and Nathan being brand new to that shit? It was a whole fucking missed opportunity and I kinda hate how it's like none of their interactions even mattered until that point and now that's all it's about. This sudden strong friendship and the breakup and Nathan apologizing for the wrong shit.

Season 4 should have been about just what exactly was in Seething Vortex that was so horrible that the Whale Goddess had to have it destroyed. We should have gotten more focus on the conflict of the dynamics that make up the band – of Nathan and Pickles being leaders with contrasting views, actual focus on why Skwisgaar is so rough on Toki and not just the fallout of both (Bookklok was also a Not Great episode). And the kind of scars Magnus left on the guys all this time.

(That's actually why I'm writing paint the sky, to fill in those lore and character development gaps.)

💚 What does everyone get wrong about your favorite character?

Pickles being a “mother” is actually a terrible and no-good thing for him and I wish it wasn't treated as a core or healthy part of his character. And I really hate how he was named that in AOTD, although the “bring Mommy his scotch” line in and of itself was fantastic.

Every time Pickles is in “mom” mode it's a stress response and he is not happy!! We don't know why Molly treated him that way and there probably is no reason. It doesn't matter! The damage is done and Pickles is still paying for it and it's really not something he needs to reclaim. He's a “mother” in that old stereotypical way where he's stressed out, overworked and underappreciated. He's a “mother” in that he gets excessive and overbearing when he's desperately trying to get a situation under control. Him going “mother” is not good!

I do believe he has a nurturing and caring side to him. I do believe Pickles is the most emotionally mature of the guys (though considering the guys, that ehhhh may not be saying much, but I digress). I do believe he could be a good parent and that he should define that for himself because he has no good examples of how a mother or father should be, so he can make his own damn definition! But in canon he is not in the environment or company for that.

And I do totally see Toki being able to confide in him because of Pickles being the most emotionally mature, and Toki is the only other one who will verbally express wanting to indulge in feelings and do good. Even if his attempts can be short-sighted (see: Dethgoverner, Fertilityklok). Still. Toki is a grown-ass man and Pickles is not Toki's goddamn mother.

🧡 What is a popular (serious) theory that you disagree with?

I dunno if this is a theory so much as popular headcanon?? But whatever. Pickles and Seth are not twins. That line in Dethwedding where Seth calls Pickles his older brother I've always seen as a slip up in line reading. Every other instance says and shows Seth as being the older brother; he's much taller in the Rehabklok flashback, and he's introduced by the Tribunal as the older brother in Dethfam. Like, c'mon.

Unpopular Opinions Ask Meme

[sumnantics]

After attending Once Upon an Elemntary together, and surviving Highs And Lows School (which everyone really just shortens to Middle School), they spent freshman year of highschool in different schools. Maisie went to Ever After High, and Neijiderick attended Beanstalk High, wanting to practice flying in the clouds. ...Not being a giant, he was ostracized and transferred to Ever After.

In the first year of her life that Maisie had not been locked at the hip with Neiji, she made close friends that werent him. ...And she realized that she wasnt feeling *best friendship* for Neiji, she was feeling *a crush.*

In the summer before Sophomore year started, Maisie confessed to Neiji.

It destroyed their friendship. He rejected her with GREAT vehemence. When they started school again, he completely ignored her in the halls. It was easy to avoid her-- being a villain, he had a completely different schedule than her, and being a Royal, he had completely different friends.

Maisie is an extremely perceptive girl. She may not be remarkable enough to make lasting impressions, but shes happy fading into the background. She does well in classes, but shes never perfect enough to shine. Graceful, elegant, scholarly, she doesnt need to try in her princess classes. Shes happy for that for the same reason-- she can people watch.

She's always been very mature. Perhaps its because she had to grow up too fast, shouldering her mother's emotional weight. This whole argument between royals and rebels all seems very silly to her-- The dramatics, that is. Because the moment she heard other students were planning to change their destiny, she wanted in.

She's never too worried abt Neiji. She *knows* him. She knows him better than he knows himself, shes perceptive and hes been all shes looked at for years. Shed answer his questions before he asked, shed figure out why hes upset before he even had a chance to feel it. She knows he needs time-- and she knows that, eventually, theyll both be in that tower. Alone. for years. And she figures theyll talk it out then.

As much as she retains her composure in most situations, theres one thing shes sensitive about-- her nobility.

Her *Destiny* is being a PRINCESS in a tower. But, generations ago, her family lost their nobility-- they had to sell it, their family too poor, and needing food more than a title. And since her story calls for a *Dragonslayer*, not a *Prince*, her family has never had a chance to regain their title.

A classmate, in an argument during class about who's on what side: Maisie's a Royal, *obviously.*

Maisie: Actually, I'm a Rebel.

Classmate: What? But... youre a princess?

Maisie: I'm a *Maiden*.

Classmate: Well, but you've got a Prince Charming?

Maisie: No. My story has a Dragonslayer.

(She corrects this constantly. everyone thinks shes a princess, and its the one assumption she will never not correct)

Neijiderick had felt growing resentment towards Maisie through all of Middle School. She was better and better at reading him-- and she was a middle schooler, who wanted to show off, and didnt have too much social awareness yet. She doesnt remember doing this, or at least how often, but she would constantly tell him what he was feeling-- "He just ignored you! Even though you waved. You must be angry, and hurt. I think he's going to his friends. I dont think he saw you, Neiji." Which seems benign enough of a thing to say, except she did it Constantly. he wouldnt be able to FEEL THINGS, and certainly he couldnt figure out his own feelings on his own. he felt exposed. He used to be able to take pleasure in sniping back at her when she got something wrong, but that only ever made her better at it.

He chose a different high school than her to get away from it all. That... didnt work out. The giants were cruel, and the teachers didnt notice-- or, they pretended not to. It made him spitting mad!!! But, he didnt know how to handle that anger, because he had always had Maisie-- either she'd help, or she'd try to help and then he'd redirect that anger at her for reading him too easily.

(He knows something about her that she doesnt. He knows shes not *that* good at reading him. Cuz she never read the growing resentment towards her correctly.)

When she confessed-- he ran. he ran immediately, squashed any reaction, left before she could read him-- he needed to figure this out *himself*.

And he did! And hes FUCKING PISSED. She's been hurting him all this time-- but, well, he never told her she was hurting him. She shouldve figured it out! But, well, he's GLAD he can keep SOME secrets. She KNOWS what his destiny is!

And there it is, he thinks. destiny. Hes never once considered that shed like anyone before her Dragonslayer. He thought he'd die before she loved someone. Maybe that was stupid? Plenty of people date in highschool, before signing the book of legend.

But why *him?* She knows more than anyone that he *cant return her affection.* He's got a time limit! And, even then-- He's going to be a DRAGON. dragons dont *kiss princesses.*

Thats right. Dragons dont kiss princesses. Dragons are ruthless, and mean, and *fucking cool*. And HES a dragon. (Wyvern, actually, but semantics.) He's going to sign the book of legends, and then after graduation like all the other magical beast characters, he's going to wake up the next day permanently in beast form.

So he ignores Maisie. Like a proper villain, and to avoid her seeing through him, and because-- look. he doesnt like her back. And, being her friend now would be *weird*. Knowing that every time they joke, every time they hang out, she'd be thinking of.... *romance.*

He changes his nickname. Avoids anything the reminds him of Maisie, actually-- she calls him Neiji,

So he goes by Ricky now. Ricky Fang. And he aces his classes, and he learns cool things like firebreath and attacking knights, and how to hold a Maiden in his claws-- a *princess*, he means, how to hold a *princess* in his claws to fly away with her.

and in his Villain classes, he meets--

Ramona Badwolf. Transferred to the school halfway through the school year. Immediately began gathering extra credit in her classes to make up for missing it, and almost as quickly made herself *known.* She was proud, and she was sly, and she was confident. She had an unwavering strength in herself-- she growled *scram*, and the halls cleared. And she was *incredibly pretty.*

Ricky was very interested in her. And he was even more interested when *she was interested in him*.

Turns out they have a lot in common-- theyre both gonna turn into magical beasts, theyre both going to have to dodge hunters, and they both know that being a msgical beast is going to be so fucking cool that it will all be worth it. Ramona asks him out, and he almost thinks he says yes too fast.

Ramona changes him, but really not by much. He was already punk, she just taught him how to show it. He cut his jacket into a vest, he collected all the shiny baubles he didnt before.

He has cultivated a very specific persona at Ever After High-- he's aloof, and distant, and hes quiet. He HATES the idea of someone being able to read him. And its hard to do, but he painstakingly makes certain he keeps those walls up around Ramona.

They date for a year, and it ends in flames. Literally. Their breakup is known throughout the school because they MADE IT KNOWN. They consistently make it known every time they see each other in the halls.

Ramona had gotten sick and tired of the mysterious facade. Sick of the distance. in their first Big Fight, she told him "I KNOW YOU, Ricky!" She didnt know that it would immediately terrify him, that hed get so defensive.

Ultimately, she knew the problem was this: He didnt see them as "serious" enough to trust her with his secrets.

He knew the problem, too! She seemed to think they were gonna stay together after graduation. can you imagine a WOLF and a DRAGON kissing? obviously not.

really, he was scared. Why else do people hide? if you cant see this part of me, ill never have to see you reject it. and really, she was scared too. She was scared he was hiding from her because he didnt ever actually like her, that she had been vulnerable in front of someone who was laughing at her the whole time.

[islaytonlost]

The good ending

Apparently this AU (wherein Lucy is evil) is sad so I’m going to try to make it less sad. Completely for @mysteriousbag I hope this is happy enough!

This chapter contains: Shooty things and lots of talking.

Disclamer: Please do not call people crazy, even internally. this is me emulating the time it's set not condoning this behaviour.

Lucy Baker had lost everything, she had nobody and yet, when it came to it she couldn't kill the strange, almost definitely crazy detective. He was in her way. She needed to stop him but she just couldn’t.

He’d ruined her life but she just couldn’t. So when he finally cornered her she couldn't bring herself to do anything and, it turns out, neither could he. So they stood there, in a dingy dead end alleyway, Lucy pointing a gun halfheartedly at Alfendi while he stood with his back to the exit and handcuffs dangling halfheartedly from his fingers.

“Aren’t you supposed to arrest me or somethin?”

“I just, I mean this is my fault. You know that.”

“I wanted to destroy you over it.”

Alfendi laughs, hollow and empty, “I probably deserve it.”

“I can’t,” she admits, in a moment of stupid vulnerability, a moment she hadn’t even meant to let it slip out.

He was just so guilty, so ready to apologise. He wanted to make it better.

She wanted him to make it better. 

“I get it, people hurt me. I told you, I made the deal to stop it. I couldn’t hurt him the way he hurt me.”

“You ended up hurting me.”

“I never realised what our friendship meant! I’m so sorry Lucy. Just, tell me how to make it better. I couldn’t do vengeance but I’ll do anything for your forgiveness.”

And in that moment Lucy didn’t even want anything, she trembles, walls crashing down. Suddenly she had no energy to bring them back up again, “Alfendi…”

“Lucy, what’s wrong?”

“Were you really there? Did you really care about me?”

“Yes. I care about you. You did most of the being there though. I was really struggling that year and you were the only person who had any faith in me. Whatever happened to you doesn’t mean that you’re not that Lucy. Something happened to change you but there was a moment, one perfect moment before it all went terribly.”

“What so you don’t like me now?”

“No! No I didn’t mean that! Look I’m sorry, I can’t phrase this right I just…” he sighs, “I know you’re still Lucy and I know that at some point you were kind and energetic and giving before it all messed itself up. I know you can’t go back to who you were but I know that you’re hurting. I want to help you.”

“I chose this. I will not be your friend from before. She hadn’t killed people.”

“I know! I’m sorry. I just. I don’t want you to be in pain alright? I know what abandonment feels like.”

“Fine. You have me! I can’t hurt you, you can’t apprehend me! So fix me!”

“You’re not broken! Yes you need help, murder is so definitely wrong but you’re not broken!”

“Yes I am. Why can't you see I am! I am a killer, I’m not fixable! Stuff happens, people change. Your little problem? I mean it’s not even a problem is it? You changed a bit. I mean you’re both still good people. Bloody good detectives!”

“You can’t kill me. So far you’ve only killed criminals. People who you think deserve it in some way, maybe they do but that’s not the lawful way of handling things.”

“The law is unjust.”

“Of course it is. I’m not though. You don’t have to be.”

“I…” she could defend herself. She didn’t want to. 

“You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

“If this is a trick it’s terrible, you’ve already got me,” her shoulders shook now, actually shook, her voice hiccups. 

“Do you want to get a sandwich?” Alfendi approaches, slowly, quietly.

Lucy lunges at him, despite everything Alfendi still tenses. She was a hardened killer after all, still cocked pistol in her hands. Her arms wrap around him. It only takes him a few seconds to relax into her hold and wrap his arms around her.

“So that’s a yes to the sandwich?” he grins.

“Maybe. It wont be the same.”

“I’m sure I’ll like the new you too.”

[bastart13]

I’ve had a lot of fun recently coming with with female mercenary characters for TF2. I really liked where the concept art was going with making them all individual characters rather than simply “if the characters were women”

The design style is fantastic for distinct simplicity so I tried limiting myself to basic colours and shapes to make these

and I’m pretty confident they pass the silhouette test!

Character names/bios under the cut!

Heavy

Name: Marie Jarrett

Age: Mid 30s-40s

Height: 6’5

Nationality: American (Hawai’i)

Bio: Raised in Hawai’i, growing up she developed more and more drastic measures to fend off the tourists swarming her home. Land mines, electric gates, guard dogs, none could stop them for long until she picked up her trusty minigun to send her message. But even still, she hears the click of cameras in the night.

Eventually, she left her home to explore the world. Enthralled with the image of seeing different wonders across different countries, she’s always disappointed. She’s travelled every continent and still finds nothing that lives up to her expectations. No place, no person. She’s outgoing and open to new experiences, only she usually hates them.

Mercenary life is a great opportunity to earn money, see sights, meet new people and kill them after they don’t meet your expectations. She hates New Mexico and takes every opportunity to destroy the buildings and insult her employer’s tastes. She finds some people she tolerates within the mercenaries as she hasn’t yet visited where they live. However much she hides it, she has a deep, instinctual fear of the Engineer.

  Soldier

Name: Linda Smith

Age: Early 40s

Height: 5’10

Nationality: Canadian

Bio: Canada’s perfect woman… or so she claims. The star of war propaganda posters and clearly decided for the role because of her great tactical assets. She’s there to motivate people into the fight. To spread the glory of Canada and inspire her allies. She believes she has higher orders than anyone else she’s working for (ignoring the fact she hasn’t heard from them for a good few years) and is determined to follow them to the letter. She may have lost the letter but she remembers it good enough.

She represents the ideals of Canada: polite, friendly, apologetic, and pacifistic. None of these are contradicted by how she throws around rockets. That’s not what Canada means. She’s superior to everyone around her and graciously educates them on how to improve through example. She loves her French and British allies and will kindly tell the Americans how to be better.

She’s motivating and actually fairly competent, it’s just that competency might be misdirected. She’s damn good at rocket jumping, shooting her shotgun, and supporting her team, it’s just that you really need to get it in her head when she’s meant to be doing it.

Scout

Name: Patricia “Pat” Herald

Age: 50s-60s

Height: 5’4

Nationality: English

Bio: In her years, Patricia has learnt fear… and she’s learnt to laugh in its face. She wakes up at the crack of dawn, ready to leave at the drop of a hat, boots polished and laced the night before. Her years have taught her that with a gun and Jeremy by her side, she can survive!

The postal route of Appleby-in-Westmorland.

She’s been chased by geese, dogs, cows, elderly ladies, and when her postal route had her delivering post during the war, she developed a taste for blood. Nothing will stop her from delivering her post on time. Every day before 6am, every postbox will have their letters and parcels. One chucked across barbed wire, another house jumped over a river, another house miles into the country with dogs on her heels, she WILL get there and she’ll get there FAST.

But after a couple of decades, she needs a change of scenery, and the Gravels wars are just the holiday she’s needed. With her trusty black and white cat by her side (ignoring the yowling and scratches) she reckons it’ll be great time to enjoy herself.

Quotes: “Oh, hello, Human Jeremy.”

“Bloody fucking Ethel! Building her house out in the country… surrounded by bloody hills and rivers!”

Pyro

Name: Nikephoros Papadopoulos

Age: Late 20s

Height: 5’11

Nationality: Greek

Bio: Survival of the fittest. Nature gives and nature taketh away. If you’re not prepared for that, well, Pyro is more than happy to teach you the lesson. They embody the old values of the Greek gods: f*ck or fire. She indulges her every whim and unfortunately for the people around her it often involves arson.

One year for the Olympic games, she was given the noble title of torchbearer. On complete coincidence, the Olympics shifted to primarily water sports. Underwater sprints became the hot new trend!

She’s merry and chatty, never missing the opportunity to talk to other people about herself and her world view. She can’t wait to spread her gospel to help other people improve themselves (though she always gets a laugh out of those who go out screaming in the flames). She can’t help it if she has a sadistic side.

Engineer

Name: Mikawo Kojima

Age: Early 20s

Height: 5’0

Nationality: Japanese

Bio: Japan’s early-rising industrial revolutions in technology are best exemplified in Mikawo, a young upstart determined to rise to the top, learning everything she can and building the best of the best. Unfortunately, she’s never been the most creative but when you happen upon other people’s blueprints and happen to construct them first, what does it matter who came up with the “concept”?

At first, she appears to be every bit the quiet and demure young woman people expect, only when silk hides steel, that steel is a massive automatic sentry gun. She’s motivated by a distinct contempt for the people who get in her way. Especially those who try to be better than her. She enjoys the flexibility of English, especially the cusses, and she has no reservations about swearing up a storm, even if she still refuses to give a straight rejection, preferring instead to give a small “I’ll think about it.”

Quotes: “This GUN is fair use on your head!”

Demo

Name: Qingzhao Zeng

Age: Late 40s

Height: 5’3

Nationality: Chinese

Bio: The Zeng family has a long-standing family trade in demolitions and explosives, traced down the line all the way to the Song dynasty. Luckily, Qingzhao has sisters so, you know, it’s not all that important. She doesn’t even have to stop smoking and drinking. She hasn’t blown herself up (that much) so clearly, it’s working. Precision is for other people to worry about. She’s apathetic to a T, having seen everything. Measurements come from the heart. A pinch of gunpowder there, a splash of paint there.

Her family has a deep-seated rivalry with the DeGroots. Long ago in ancient China, a Zeng matriarch woke up in a cold sweat, a message from the stars to let them know of their Scottish rivals. Due to being a continent away from each other, the families have actually met each other only a handful of times, but the hatred needs to be kept up because, what if?

Turns out, Qingzhao has met Tavish even before finding employment under the Mann brothers. One drunken night, the two of them had a short, whirlwind friendship, sharing secrets and declaring each other to be their best friends. Luckily for them, they both forgot the night, merrily hating each other as tradition dictates. However, headaches and flashes of this terrible night haunt them both. Could they really get over centuries of hate and become friends?

Absolutely not.

Sniper

Name: Ansa Aaltonen

Age: 27

Height: 6’2

Nationality: Finnish

Bio: Snow. Sugar. Cocaine.  Her life is run by many white powders. Ansa is a professional sniper, with a sharp eye and a steady hand… when she isn’t also high as a kite, lost in the snowy wilderness of Finland and screeching to the sky. When you’re up in the dark and cold, you need something to give you a little pep in your step. It just so happens Ansa liked having a bit more pep than most.

She’s there for a THRILL. There’s nothing better to get your heart pumping at 200 beats per second than a good headshot, embracing the chill, and a hit of sugar. She no longer feels the cold or heat or even pain, shrugging it off until she collapses. It just makes her feel alive. She’s efficient, fast, and determined to get her kicks.

She has an unusual taste, living off fermented fish and tree bark. To most people around the Finnish wilderness, she’s nothing more than an urban legend, but she’s very real and she’s looking for some excitement, happily found in employment in the Gravel wars.

Spy

Name: Yvonne Pleshette [Real name N/A]

Age: 30s

Height: 5’8

Nationality: American (California)

Bio: The silver screen calls to his woman and she’s happy to answer. She trains herself to act in every possible role she can, having a wide range of accents, body languages, and backstories. To truly test herself, she gave up her identity long ago. Lately she’s been going by the name “Yvonne.”

The world of Hollywood is cutthroat and full of backstabbers so she learnt to cut throats and stab backs. While some people tell her the terms are metaphorical, nothing else has given her more roles. Living the mercenary life is simply gathering research for her roles (and earning some much-needed money in the process).

She presents herself as a classic film star, despite being a minor name at best, mostly because she’s always changing it. She has high standards but a cheapskate personality. She’s a bit of a bitch, happily criticising others, especially if they’re working with her. What can she say? She’s a diva.

[Slutshames other spy]

Quotes: “Ugh, actors these days, they know nothing about getting into character. They still have names.”

“’AHHHHH—’ Wait, no. Once more from the top. Scream in agony.”

Medic

Name: Susan Monks

Age: 30-40s

Height: 5’7

Nationality: American (New Jersey)

Bio: The American Healthcare system. Is there a more glorious sight? The exploitation of pain. The money. The debt. The fear it strikes into the entire population it’s designed to help. To Susan, there’s nothing better. She squeezes every last drop from the people she helps, working on a purely transactional lifestyle. She’ll never help someone unless she has all of their insurance information and the payment secure in her bank, and god forbid she ever accept help. It’s not like she can afford her own prices.

She’s very self-aware of her own corruption and proud of it, though she refuses to be exploited in the same way, suspicious of anything “free” but also doing her best not to pay for anything.

That said, she doesn’t much care for how good a job she does. In her eyes, asking for surgery is one thing. Asking for successful surgery is another. She has a variety of skills in both cosmetic and military medicine. She just wishes the license board would stop sending her “malpractice” letters. Ugh, stick to your own business. “Disappearing” all their messengers is becoming a pain.

Quotes: “Why get someone else to do something for you when you can scrounge a way to do it yourself?”

[wonda-cat]

Misconceptions About Tommyinnit’s Character That Genuinely INFURIATE Me

Since the recent events following the second L’Manburg Festival and subsequent war, I’ve seen many, many hot takes surrounding the nature of Tommyinnit’s character on the SMP. Some of which annoyed me to the point where I felt compelled to sit down and actually write this. I’m going to only be highlighting the most common complaints or questions I’ve seen, one by one, in hopes of providing a better understanding of Tommy’s character for anyone interested. (I also briefly discuss Techno and Tubbo’s characters as well.)

If you’ve said similar things to what I’m going to be discussing below, please know that it’s perfectly understandable how you’d come to these conclusions. Some of these aspects of Tommy’s character are not always obvious; especially if being watched from another streamer’s POV. This may become quite lengthy, so bear with me for now.

“Tommy’s motives are all over the place. He can’t decide whether he wants the discs back or not.”

Tommy is actually one of the most motivationally consistent characters on the entire Dream SMP. Even Techno, someone completely confident in their ideals, does more motivational flipping than Tommy. From the very start of the story, Tommy has always cared for three things; L’Manburg, Tubbo, and his music discs. However, him caring for something is not itself a motivation. 

Surprisingly enough, his motivation isn’t even just, ‘Get my discs back,’ like many assume it is. Tommy’s one true motivation, since the end of the Independence War, has always been, ‘Keep things the way they are now.’ 

Tommy’s one fatal flaw is that he is resistant to change and refuses to let go of the past. This is seen through all of his actions and words; in all conflicts involving him. This flaw is the drive to all of Tommy’s mistakes. Burning down George’s house, an action which resulted in him getting exiled, was done out of a desire to pull pranks the way he used to before the first war. His friendship with Ranboo started because Tommy said he reminded him of Tubbo, back before he was President. 

Tommy still talks highly of Wilbur because he chooses to remember him as the wise, kind mentor who cared for him. This motive is the reason he defends L’Manburg so fiercely; it’s his memory of a better past. This is why he holds grudges more often than any other character; especially refusing to forgive Techno after he killed Tubbo during the Manburg Massacre.

It’s why Tommy falls under extreme distress whenever Tubbo or Quackity tell him that something will never be the same again. This motivation is entirely formed from an underlying desire for peace and comfort, something Tommy has been denied since being forced into a life wrought with war and death. To accept change, to Tommy, is painful and terrifying. But he will only ever truly be happy when he finally learns to let go.

“Why do the discs matter so much to Tommy? They’re not actually worth anything.”

Tommy’s discs are much more than just any ordinary pair of music discs. They were never important for their material worth, but for what Tommy was willing to sacrifice in order to keep them. Tommy is entirely what gives the discs their value. 

Tommy also commonly operates under the Sunk-Cost Fallacy, wherein he’s invested too much of himself into something to just abandon it, even if it’s causing him problems. This mentality is a huge piece of what keeps him tied to both L’Manburg and to his discs. He’s sacrificed too much at this point to simply let them go. If he admits the discs are worthless, then he’s admitting that he wasted all this time and effort, just to keep them.

The discs also act as a constant source of hope for Tommy because they are directly tied with his motivations as a character. They’re something he’s had since the very beginning. They’re something he used to listen to with Tubbo on their shared bench. 

To Tommy, they symbolize a life before war, filled with comfort and peace. They are a love letter to his country and his late mentor Wilbur. They are a physical representation of Tubbo’s companionship. They are the only thing, besides L’Manburg and his best friend, that gives him the hope that he can one day return things to the way they used to be. 

This ideal, paired with Tommy’s refusal to let go, has left him ruthlessly pursuing the things he’s lost. Not his music discs, but his peace and comfort, his friendship, his country, his mentor Wilbur, and his life before war.

In his desperation to hold onto his prized possession, it has only hurt and pushed away the people that love him. If Tommy continues to ignore this reality, while still refusing to resolve his major flaw entwined with it, he will lose all that the discs had once stood for. He will lose his country, then his friend Tubbo, and then he will lose himself.

“Tommy never grows or learns from his mistakes. This makes him a badly written character.”

Characters do not have to constantly learn from their actions to be well-written. Tommy is one of the best examples of this. The fact that his growth is infrequent is the entire point of his character; it’s completely stemmed from his fatal flaw. 

By addressing himself, he would be accepting change, something that terrifies him; something he stubbornly resists until he is absolutely forced to confront it. Contrary to popular belief, Tommy knows when he makes mistakes, but he pretends to be ignorant as to avoid facing reality. He digs his head in the sand despite knowing better, puppeteering the person he used to be during happier times, now gone.

In spite of his infrequent growth, the idea that Tommy still hasn’t learned anything isn’t quite correct either. Tommy, as of the last three plot streams, has shown incredible character development. By giving up his discs again, he had finally demonstrated that Tubbo is more important to him than his possessions. Speaking as a makeshift leader, he put aside his issues with others to rally them together against a common threat, something which Tommy had never been able to do before. He owned up to all of his mistakes openly, apologizing to everyone he’s ever hurt in one place. 

He apologized to Tubbo after they were reunited and came to terms with the fact that Tubbo was forced to exile him without choice, finally forgiving him. He was kind to Sapnap and learned how to be his friend after months of bitter rivalry. And these are only a few examples. This isn’t to say Tommy has overcome/fixed everything because he clearly hasn’t. There are still major things Tommy needs to work through that remain unaddressed, the biggest being his complicated relationship with Technoblade.

“Tommy only cares about himself. He does everything in his power to be the hero, always putting himself in the center of attention, especially during Doomsday.”

Tommy, since the start of the L’Manburg War for Independence, has never set out to be a hero. Not once. He may fall into the role of the protagonist, but his identity as a hero was pushed onto him by others. Giving up the discs was his only option during the Independence War. 

So when Wilbur called him a hero for it, Tommy said he didn’t feel like he was. During the November 16th War, Tommy again said he didn’t feel like a hero because he had lost what he thought was everything at the time. During exile, Tommy certainly knew he was no hero. And upon reuniting with Tubbo, he admitted to feeling like the farthest thing from it. That he’d hurt everyone and all he wanted to do now was fix it. 

The day before Doomsday, Tommy only took a leadership position because no one else was willing to, filling the role for Tubbo, who was crumbling under pressure. He had no choice but to try to bring everyone together, or fight alone. Most viewers never saw this during Doomsday, but before the battle, almost everyone who had vowed to fight alongside L’Manburg had abandoned them the very next day. They were convinced it was going to be destroyed either way, no matter what they did, so they chose not to see it through to the end; ultimately leaving Tommy and those who remained to fight a losing battle, alone. 

After about a third of the way through the battle, it became clear to everyone that they could do nothing to win. One by one, everyone stopped fighting and stood by to watch their country go up in smoke. Tommy was the only person on the battlefield who refused to stand down and give up. And so he took over the role as leader again, trying his best to keep them alive, to keep Tubbo hopeful; to keep fighting, no matter what. 

However, what most people don’t realize, is that this isn’t Tommy trying to be a hero or force himself into the spotlight. This is Tommy trying to convince himself to keep going. Because whenever things start to look hopeless, Tommy simply chooses to ignore them. He puts on a happy face and soldiers through it because that’s all he knows how to do. Tommy, at his core, is someone who wants peace through stagnation. He doesn’t want to fight, although causing the occasional friendly conflict is how he finds fun. He doesn’t set out to purposely hurt others. 

Tommy may come across as self-centered, but this is because he is an extremely extroverted character. He finds energy and joy in the attention of others, both good and bad. It’s why he’s always seeking the approval of others and, oftentimes, will destructively insert himself into another person’s life in order to find it. 

Out of every character in the story, Tommy is the most drawn to praise and positive reinforcement. He is constantly seeking out mentors and friends because Tommy needs someone else to help him feel confident in his own identity and abilities. It’s why Wilbur was such a positive influence on him. His boisterous confidence has always been a front because if anyone were to actually hurt him, he knows it will make his self-esteem crumble instantly. 

This is part of why Dream’s manipulation was so effective against him. By isolating him, he’s left without energy and looking to another person’s guidance. Tommy outwardly may seem independent and rude, but just under the skin, he’s unconfident and lost when he’s by himself. Tommy will only grow from this flaw when he finds his own identity and inner confidence; when he finally learns to be okay with being alone.

“Tommy goes to the festival solely to get his disc back and then tells Tubbo to give it away immediately after. That doesn’t make any sense.”

Before the screaming match between the two friends during the second L’Manburg Festival, Tommy had been in exile, manipulated by Dream for long enough to lose his will to carry on. It is because of him that Tommy’s reality becomes distorted, long after fleeing from his abuser. This mangling of ideals leads Tommy to subconsciously believe that L’Manburg and Tubbo are unsalvageable. 

Therefore, the only thing he has hopes of retrieving are his discs, which are easier to manage than the latter two things. And so Tommy does reprehensible things at the behest of Techno in a vain hope of getting them back, going so far as to kidnap and torture for them. This ultimately culminates in a confrontation between the ex-friends, quickly turning violent. It is in this violence that we see Tommy has sunk to his absolute lowest point in his journey. 

Swinging his axe, he nearly kills his friend as he delivers a string of words that cause the room to silence instantly. He says the discs were always worth more than his friend. Within the quiet of the room, Tommy is forced to reflect on everything he’s done. How he kidnapped and tortured Connor. How he accidentally drowned Fundy. How he traumatized Ranboo. 

And now he’s hurt Tubbo, the one person he has always sought to protect; someone he vowed to never hurt. This realization causes Tommy to break. He’s so ashamed of himself that he can’t look at anyone. Tommy knows now that he is worse than anyone he’s ever hated. 

With pain in his voice, he tries and fails to apologize to Tubbo in the moment. The only way he knows to redeem himself now is to prove to Tubbo, after everything, that he can still put the discs aside. And so he does.

“The fact that Tommy is still trying to get his discs back after L’Manburg was destroyed is unreasonable and ridiculous.”

Tommy deals with grief in an interesting way, doing something very similar to Techno. His grief almost instantly becomes anger and a drive to prove himself. It morphs into a need for vengeance in response to injustice, always. 

After the destruction of L’Manburg, Tommy saying he wants the discs back is a double-sided motivator. The obvious side being: Tommy still needs them to feel comfort. The subtle side beneath it: Tommy is using them as an excuse to find Dream and kill him. To make him pay for helping destroy their home, hurting his friends, and abusing him in exile. 

Upon the loss of his home, I’d also argue the discs have only grown more important to Tommy in the aftermath. Typically, in grief, people hold onto things that survive devastation far more than if the tragic event never occurred. If your eldest child dies, one may hold their surviving children tighter. If your house burns down, one may deeply treasure a box of items that survived the flames. Tommy’s desperation after losing so much is entirely understandable.

On top of this, the discs are still the core to Tommy’s fatal flaw. They are what keeps him from achieving total happiness, so him getting over this intrinsic part of himself so easily would make for an unsatisfying character arc. He still has to work for his happiness in order to change for the better. 

To add, I’ve seen a lot of people complaining that Tommy is still prioritizing the discs over Tubbo, especially in that moment. And while I mostly agree, there are some interactions that stand out to me as being different between the pair that may imply otherwise. Tommy says a few times that despite L’Manburg being destroyed, he still has something left to lose; each time, turning to look at Tubbo. 

This subtly implies that losing Tubbo would be as devastating as losing his home. Tubbo also never voices disagreement over Tommy’s continued pursuit of the item. However, Tubbo frequently does what he thinks will make others happy, so this doesn’t implicitly mean support for Tommy either. Besides these two things, this is still Tommy’s fatal flaw shining through, continuing to hurt others around him. 

I only hope Tubbo can learn to stand up for himself and voice his real thoughts to Tommy now, after everything. It would provide at least some desperately-needed closure for Tubbo’s character.

“How could Tommy betray Techno like that? Techno told him upfront what he was going to do.”

While it’s true that Techno was obvious about his plans, Tommy was also just as upfront with Techno about what he thought of it. In fact, maybe even more so, considering Techno attempted to hide them from Tommy for a good portion of their partnership. Whenever Techno brought up the idea of destroying L’Manburg or hurting Tubbo, Tommy would always remind Techno that he didn’t want to hurt anyone. And that if Techno ever did, Tommy would be there to stand in his way. He never once stopped saying this. 

Tommy’s two major positive character traits have always been his undying loyalty and his strength to never give up, even in the face of death. Two classically heroic qualities, both of which, ironically, reinforce his fatal flaw. His refusal to change makes him stubborn; stubbornness being the only quality that makes unwavering loyalty and extreme persistence feasible. 

Because of these two traits, it was impossible from the start for Dream to completely break Tommy’s spirit and for Techno to get him to agree to anything too extreme. Despite this, Techno already had no hope of keeping Tommy on his side after the events of the day before the Festival. During it, Tommy had asked multiple times for Techno to give his word not to hurt anyone. That they’d only threaten to spawn a wither, get Techno’s remaining weapons in exchange, then leave. That’s it.

Techno avoided directly promising Tommy but still agreed not to regardless. So when Techno chose to spawn the wither anyway, despite Tommy urging them to leave multiple times, whatever trust Tommy had with him went completely out the window. Thus, when the threat was finally real, that Techno would make due on his promise to burn his home country to the ground and slaughter his friends, Tommy intervened. It would be unreasonable to expect Tommy not to stand against him in that moment, especially after his mental breakdown which ensued as a result of him nearly killing his best friend. 

Adding salt to the wound on Tommy’s end, Techno decided to also align himself with Dream, someone Techno knew Tommy was afraid of. This might have been a way to purposely hurt Tommy. More likely, it was because Dream and him shared a common goal in the moment and Techno desperately needed allies.

However, the implication of Techno siding with Tommy’s abuser most certainly hurt him, regardless of its original intentions. This is possibly why Tommy kept insisting through Doomsday that Techno betrayed him, avoiding actually telling anyone the reason as to why. If he couldn’t find the words to describe what Dream did to him, even to Tubbo, he certainly wouldn’t be able to tell Techno either.

“Techno gave Tommy everything, only to be repaid with betrayal.”

This statement regarding Tommy is the one I see most often. (It is also the one I get the most heated about.)

Dream’s character is well known for his manipulation tactics against other characters; pitting them against each other, crushing them under his heel, bending their will to conform to his own. It’s what makes him an interesting villain. It’s something fun to discuss. 

But is it still fun to discuss manipulation tactics if they’re so subtle, almost no one notices them? This is the paradigm Technoblade’s character falls into. While people know Techno for his laid-back personality, dry humor, and complex motivations, many fail to recognize him as a manipulator. The reason why this is so hard to spot is because it is mostly unintentional on behalf of the character. Dream performs his craft with intention, Techno does it without realizing. 

As well as this being unwitting, it is sandwiched between Techno’s actual attempts to connect with Tommy and care for him. Thus, making the manipulation feel less damaging. The only problem is, this still hurts Tommy just as much, regardless of the intentions behind it. Especially after just escaping Dream, Tommy’s reality and sense of identity are horribly distorted. In this vulnerable state, he desperately needs healing and someone to help ground him. This is what makes him even more susceptible to Techno’s influence. 

And because it is much subtler, it is harder to notice, and much harder to break free from. Despite Tommy claiming to hate Techno for what he did on November 16th, he still chose to flee to his house because it was the only place he could think of going, as well as being the safest area possible. After the failed execution, Techno mentioned potentially hurting Tubbo through a vengeance plot. Tommy voiced extreme distress over this, to which Techno threatened to kick him out of his house. 

Tommy then says he’s fine being homeless because he doesn’t want anything to do with someone who would hurt his friend. This is when Techno decides to weaponize Tommy’s own trauma against him. To be fair to Techno again, Tommy never told him the extent of the abuse he suffered in exile. But Techno isn’t stupid. He knows Tommy is extremely afraid of Dream, and for good reason. 

So he tells Tommy that if he were kicked out, he’d be defenseless. That if he were out there all alone, Dream would find him very easily. That Dream would drag him right back to Logstedshire in an instant. He notices the way Tommy reacts to this, how quickly he changes his mind about being kicked out. He continues to use this trauma repeatedly in order to keep Tommy under his roof, no matter how disagreeable he gets about Techno’s plans. He knows he can’t retrieve his weapons alone because he has no leverage. 

Therefore, using Tommy like a wild card was a major side strategy. Techno knows it will hurt Tubbo by doing this and may make the President more willing to compromise. In addition to this, many of the strategies Techno utilizes are Narcissistic manipulation tactics, categorized by their intent to keep the victim in a position below the abuser in terms of worth. This includes Techno using the silent treatment as a punishment, something which hurts Tommy since he craves affection from others. 

He also attempts to isolate Tommy by telling him he doesn’t need anyone else; that everyone abandoned him during exile (something which Dream has also said.) He tells Tommy that he’s only alive because Techno is there to defend him and supply for him, as well as constantly reminding Tommy to not let any compliments he receives get to his head. These are both meant to make Tommy depend more on Techno and doubt his own abilities. Techno also occasionally engages in subtle gaslighting, attempting to sow doubt in Tommy’s mind about his relationships with Tubbo, Quackity, Ranboo, and Fundy. 

It’s also vital to keep in mind what exactly separates Dream and Techno in this regard. The most important thing being that Techno actually does care about Tommy. He trusts him and wants to earnestly help him. He knows Tommy has been traumatized and abused in some way, but he doesn’t know how to help because he’s not that great with people. It also doesn’t help that Tommy is unable to tell anyone what happened. 

In the end, Techno really does want to be a shield for Tommy. Despite debating handing Tommy over to Dream, it’s more likely Techno was using this as bait for Dream to waste his favor on something useless. After all, he could always save Tommy, should he ask for him to. Techno’s warnings about Tubbo and L’Manburg also come from a place of love, as Techno was personally hurt by them and wants to protect Tommy by telling him to leave it behind. However, just because something is done out of love, doesn’t mean it’s automatically helpful or good for someone. 

There’s no better example of this than in Techno’s most damaging and frequently used tactic: ‘Buy Their Love,’ a technique commonly used on children by narcissistic parents. At first glance, nothing seems wrong. Techno gives Tommy most things he asks for; providing him with food, gifts, protection, and a place to sleep. The manipulation within this arises when the act of kindness is counted as a debt against the person who receives it. That by receiving so many good things, they would be ungrateful to go against their abuser. Doesn’t matter if they emotionally or physically hurt you, they gave you gifts, so you should shut your mouth and allow the abuse to continue. 

Whenever Tommy speaks out against Techno’s violent actions or his plans to hurt his friends, Techno would frequently bring up all his ‘good deeds.’ He consistently reminds Tommy that he could’ve just thrown him back to Dream, but he was too kind. That he went out of his way to give him gear, food, and a roof over his head. That he was kind so Tommy should be quiet and let Techno plot to hurt the people he loves. Or else he’s selfish and ungrateful. Or else Techno will take all of his gifts back and leave him with nothing.

Knowing this, it is horrifying seeing people justifying this behavior by mocking Tommy’s character and calling him ungrateful using this very same fallacy. (Especially for those who grew up being controlled by this very tactic.) 

It is through knowing Techno’s use of the ‘Buy Their Love,’ method that makes Tommy’s, ‘I am worthy,’ response, not one of betrayal, but one of triumph. This moment is a major positive character change for Tommy for many reasons. When Tommy decides to stand against Techno, this causes him to fall back on his most reliable tactic. He insults Tommy and then asks for the Axe of Peace back. Instead of caving, Tommy refuses. 

By keeping the Axe of Peace, Techno’s final gift to him, he is not only rejecting the destruction of all he loves, but he is breaking free from Techno’s manipulation. He says, ‘I am worthy,’ because now he knows his own self-worth. He doesn’t need Techno or Dream to decide it for him. This moment is Tommy finally breaking free from not just Techno, but Dream as well. He is finally free.

“Tommy was only using Techno and never thought of him as a friend.”

Tommy and Techno’s relationship is complicated, which is why pretending only one side was in the wrong isn’t entirely accurate. Their friendship, in summary, is tragic when fully examined; being doomed from the start. Techno and Tommy are brought into conflict often because they are simultaneously so similar and so different. Techno and Tommy both deal with grief in the same way. They both long for a life of peace and comfort. They each long for companionship, hold their ideals in kind, and are both naturally resilient in the face of adversity. 

Yet, their personalities and courses of action are polar opposites. What makes this friendship one of tragedy is the fact that not just Techno, not just Tommy, but both of them, actually thought the other was their friend. They had each wanted to be the other’s friend since the day they’d met. Tommy never stopped wanting to impress Techno and get on his good side, even if his methods annoyed the target of his affections. Him calling Techno ‘The Blade’ was never meant to dehumanize him; it was a title of adoration. 

Along the same spectrum, Techno is a character who generally longs for friendship, but pretends not to after a lifetime of hurt. He’s been burned too many times, and so he chooses to stay alone. Techno is generally very reclusive and awkward around others, so when he likes someone or cares for them, it’s noticeable from a mile away. Their friendship has a very brotherly dynamic, and the fact that Techno allowed him to stay in his house, implies Tommy is a step above pretty much everyone else but Phil. Putting up with Tommy’s shenanigans is itself a sign of affection. 

However, when their goals come into conflict and the two start to drift apart, they deal with this in massively different ways. With Tommy devastated and enraged, and with Techno withdrawn and hurt, once more burned by someone he slowly learned to trust. They were once both friends, neither one was pretending. Yet, both of them thought their companionship was unreciprocated. 

On top of this, both Techno and Tommy were using each other. Techno used Tommy to get his weapons back by manipulating and lying to him. Tommy used Techno to protect him from Dream and get his discs back. They each hurt the other and refused to listen, both shouting valid complaints at the other that they refused to hear. 

Their relationship is also deeply affected by the themes of vengeance in the current arc, which is something I haven’t seen many people talk about. Most of the current conflicts this past month have resulted from characters being unable to forgive, resorting to revenge as a way to cope with loss. L’Manburg was the first to initiate this, through the influence of Quackity. The Butcher Army was formed to punish Techno for a war crime he committed. And while this is perfectly reasonable, what isn’t is the way the incident was orchestrated. It was an unchecked abuse of power to execute someone without a fair trial, as well as punishing Phil, who was not involved whatsoever. 

This was also particularly unfair to Techno, as many projected their anger at Wilbur onto him. Even Tommy did this, finding himself unable to blame his late mentor, so Techno was the next best option for him. However, it was Techno’s response to this that was interesting. He chose a path of vengeance, the same way L’Manburg did, after vowing to live his life as a pacifist. By doing this and following through, he hurt everyone, not just the people he claimed needed to pay for their actions. 

Instead of just picking the weed in the garden, he set the entire flower bed on fire. Through L’Manburg’s destruction, he gets what he wants. He destroys their government, but he also scars the earth and shatters the sky. He leaves uninvolved people homeless, deeply hurting Ranboo, Eret, and especially Ghostbur. Philza turns to vengeance as well, taking his anger at the death of his son out on people who do not deserve it. 

Tubbo, a day before the second Festival, was given another chance to seek revenge when Techno had spawned a wither on their land. Instead, all Tubbo could say was, ‘We do nothing … It’s pointless, vengeance. It’s poisonous.’ By doing this, he has managed to be a bigger person than even Techno was, with the strength and maturity to turn the other cheek. And now with Tommy’s plan to kill Dream, the conflict continues to escalate; only ending where forgiveness begins. 

It’s sad to think, if Techno didn’t choose a path of vengeance and Tommy was strong enough to tell Techno how he really felt, the two might have remained friends. Who knows? Maybe they still can.

“Tommy was the one in the wrong. Techno was right to destroy L’Manburg.”

Techno is a lovely character. He’s well-written, engaging, funny. He has many values and quirks that are generally relatable and interesting. His motives are deeply understandable and sympathetic. And yet, he is perfectly capable of being evil, in just the same way that Tommy can be deeply flawed despite being the protagonist. 

I’m sure most people already know that Technoblade is a villain. Or more accurately, a tragic antagonist. Techno (the streamer) knows he is and he’s having fun playing that part. Just because a character is morally in the wrong doesn’t mean their values and ideology don’t have merit. The best character I could compare Techno to is Thanos. 

They have completely valid concerns and points, but it is the way in which they go about achieving their goals that makes them into evil people. And despite this, many will still agree with them, even after they do something reprehensible. Contrary to popular belief, Technoblade’s tendency towards violence isn’t a good thing, no matter how you look at it. Even Techno himself knows this, that’s why he decided to reform and become a pacifist with Phil. He was not a good influence on Tommy, on top of also manipulating him. 

Techno caving to hatred and vengeance makes him no different to the resolve of the Butcher Army that pursued him. It is precisely the fact that he went on to destroy the home of not just Tommy, but also Ranboo and Ghostbur, that puts him in the wrong. He is allowed to despise all government and remove himself from it, but the moment he decided to insert himself into someone else’s country and take their home from them in order to destroy it, he abandoned an integral principle to his own values. 

This principle being: ‘Choice.’ The act of letting others be free to decide what they want for themselves. It is a huge component to the concept of anarchy, the freedom to choose. And yet Techno robbed this from, not just the ruling powers that hurt him, but individuals who were not even involved in the first place. He justifies this by saying it’s for their own good, that he’s helping; while acting in a self-serving manner. 

In his anger, he became the punisher, stooping lower than L’Manburg has ever gone. There is also the issue of Dream weaponizing Techno to destroy the one thing that has been a thorn in his side since the very start, manipulating Techno’s grief to achieve his goals. Tommy’s biggest sin in the Doomsday War was standing up to Techno and getting in the way of him hurting his friends and destroying his home. 

This isn’t to say Tommy is perfect, because he still hurt everyone he ever loved. But the only way he knew to redeem himself was to fight for what he knew was right. And so he chose to fight alongside his best friend, Tubbo. However, just because Techno is in the wrong doesn’t mean others are wrong for wanting to side with him, or by finding joy in his ruthlessness. The biggest appeal of Techno is the fact that he opposes people like Tommy. 

He knows how to put people in their place and it’s satisfying to watch. Some people love rooting for villains and it’s entertaining to see a being with so much power crush everyone else down so effortlessly. Especially because it’s so easy to sympathize with Technoblade. Sympathetic villains are the best kind; where they have understandable motivations, relatable flaws, people they love, and something they can lose. Dream is a villain you love to hate. Technoblade is a villain you hate to love. Simple as. 

Despite the destruction of L’Manburg being either devastating or fantastic depending on who you are, there is one major good it has done. It has pushed Tommy more towards the completion of his character arc. By losing one of the three things he loves, it will be impossible for him to pretend any longer. He will be forced to confront reality very soon. It all depends on whether Tubbo will have to die first for him to finally see it.

[storiesofsvu]

Three Words Ch 1

Casey Novak x reader Warnings: Language, smut, a hint of sadness or hurt/comfort I guess. that's kinda the whole theme for the story let's be honest.

‘I need you.’

Three words, those three little words in a text was all it took. You quickly responded, asking where, tugging your coat against you as the cold winter air whipped around you through the streets of New York. Luckily the bar wasn’t far from your apartment, she was at the NoMad hotel’s bar. She of course, being none other than Casey Novak. 

You’d gone to college together, quickly bonding and becoming very close friends, you spent probably too much time together as you worked through the relentless hours of studying and school projects. She’d always held a special place in your heart, while at first you thought it was just friendship, it was in your final year of college you started to realize it was more, when she started dating someone, you knew you were sad beyond more than just losing out on friendship hours, but you soldiered through. You could push the school girl crush to the side, you were happy as long as she was happy. Not that it really mattered since she was headed to Cambridge for another three years of law school while you were set to start career hunting in New York. When she’d originally texted you, you didn’t even realize she was home for Christmas break, figuring you’d be sorting things out over the phone or FaceTime, surprised when she gave you the name of the bar. 

You gave a soft smile to the hotel doorman opening the door to you, heading right into the attached lounge, pausing for a moment before you spotted her sitting near the corner of the bar. You felt your heartbeat trying to chase after itself in your chest, it’d been two and a half years where you’d briefly managed to meet up over summer vacations, social media and texting being your main communication. Approaching the bar, you shucked your coat, placing it over the back of the bar chair as she looked up, you could see her eyes were red, she wasn’t kidding, something was definitely bothering her.

“Hey.” You greeted softly, a hand on her arm,

“Hey…” Her voice was solemn, she barely met your eyes, focussed more on the scotch in front of her.

“Case..You okay?” She merely gave you a shake of the head as a response. Still standing you pulled her into a hug, arms wrapping around her tightly, letting her accept the affection as long as she needed. When she let out a light sigh you gently pulled away, ordering a drink while you settled in the chair beside her. “You wanna talk about it?” She finally met your gaze, 

“Nicole broke up with me…over fucking text.” Casey shot back the rest of her drink at the admission. Nicole was the girl she’d started dating right before you graduated, a three year relationship, destroyed over a fucking text, yeah, you could imagine the pain she was in.

“Fuck, Case, I’m so sorry…” You gave her hand a squeeze, “Anyone would be a complete moron to let you go.”

“Thanks…” Her voice was layered with pain.

“Did…did she say why?” She let out a heavy sigh, signalling to the bartender for another round.

“About a month ago I said I wanted to move back here after we graduated. Now she tells me she wants to go to Chicago, no ifs ands or buts, said there was no way she was going to deal with long distance.” You let out a huff, 

“Well..she’s a bitch, doesn’t deserve you anyways.” You quickly added on a round of shots to your tab, pushing one to Casey before throwing them back.

“Thanks Y/N..really.” She shot you a soft smile, “And..thanks for coming..I..really didn’t know who else to call.”

“Hey…I’ll always be here for you, you know that.” Her eyes softened at the smile you gave her, knowing you weren’t kidding, you’d always been her go to in college, and that hadn’t changed. She gave a groan of a huff,

“Anyway. Enough about my disastrous love life, how’re you? The big city still treating you right?”

“Uh..yeah..” You shot a timid smile, not wanting to brag about your life while she thought hers was in shambles, “I’m working with the medical examiner’s office, just got promoted…”

“Shut up, that’s amazing!” You nearly flushed at the praise, 

“Thanks.”

“I’m serious! What’re you doing?”

“Managed to snag the position as the assistant to the medical examiner, she works mainly with sex crimes and homicide. I mean, I won’t lie, most of my job is running paperwork and lab results between her, the crime lab and the detectives, but it’s still what I wanted to do. Closest I could get without 15 years of schooling.”

“Is she a good boss at least?”

“I mean..she’ll send me to crime scenes when it’s below 40 degrees, but I won’t complain about the cold if I get to do more work. Hell I’ve learnt more from her than I did in school, Melinda’s amazing.”

“Good.” She gave you her first real smile of the night, “I’m proud of you, really.” 

“Give it a couple years Case, you’ll be winning every single case you take to trial, I know it.” A soft smirk shot across to her that she accepted. 

The two of you fell into an easy rhythm of conversation, reminiscing about the old days, talking over the stories of the last couple of years that you may have missed previously. Basically anything to avoid the topic of Nicole. You were both relaxed, at ease with each other, the friendship from the past nearly seven years flowing easily. You were happy when Casey laughed heartily for the first time at something you said, knowing she was fully distracted from her pain. The drinks flowed freely, but not to a point where either of you were past a bit tipsy, you’d ordered some snacking type appetizers, munching on them while you reconnected, a spark of familiarity flowing between you. It was nearly last call when you realized how late it was, your phone giving off the ‘its time for bed’ notification, sighing you hopped off the bar chair, tossing down cash for the food and drinks.

“I should probably go.” Your voice was hushed, eyes down as you shoved your wallet back into your bag, you barely felt Casey’s gentle hand on your cheek, fingers trailing down to your chin, turning your face to hers, a light in her eyes you’d never had the blessing to see yourself before.

“Or…don’t…” You could barely believe it when her soft lips met yours, practically melting against the feeling, your eyes fluttered shut, a hand finding its place at the back of her neck while the other gripped her thigh. Her free arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to her, tongue trailing across your lower lip. You were quick to submit to her, letting her tongue delve into your mouth, tasting the mint of your mojito’s, tongue dancing around yours. You gripped her thigh tighter when her teeth nipped at your lower lip, tugging it from you before letting it snap back to you. The kiss was more than you could ever had imagined, all of your senses enlightened, like you were on goddamn cloud nine from simply a kiss. Fuck.

“Casey…” Your breath was hot against her face, lips barely detached from hers.

“Please.” The begging look in her eyes was all it took, you muttered something about living a few blocks away while she tossed down cash to cover her share of the bill before you were practically dragging her out of the bar. 

The moment you’d locked your apartment door behind you she was on you, lips feverishly moving against yours, begging for an actual connection she hadn’t felt in months, hands digging into your hair. You felt yourself rutting against her, cupping at the cheeks of her ass, hands dragging beneath her shirt as you backed into your bedroom. Lips barely leaving each other you managed to undress each other until you were bare, Casey’s mouth, dropped from yours, teeth nibbling down your neck, biting at your pulse point, hands groping at your tits, smirking at the moan that left your mouth. 

You were quick to softly shove her down onto your bed, lips greedily meeting hers again, moaning at the taste of her that you simply couldn’t get enough of. Your hips rutted against hers, begging for more friction, having imagined this moment for years, a breathy gasp leaving your lips at the feel of your clit rubbing against hers. With a grin on her lips, Casey sat up, wrapping a leg around you, leading one of yours around her so you were perfectly matched, hips rolling against each other perfectly. You found your head thrown back in pleasure as the rolling of your hips pressed your clits together, the friction making you thrive against her. Casey’s hand found it’s way to your chest, tweaking and playing with your tits, causing a hefty moan releasing from your mouth. Despite the awkward angle you continued to rut against her, hand pulling her into a frenzied kiss, tongues battling against each other, groaning into each other’s mouths. You could barely believe how quickly you came, shivering and whimpering against her body, the simple stimulation against your clit more than enough to make you weak.

You didn’t miss the glint in her eye as you practically collapsed against her, kissing her supple skin, knowing she’d reached her first peak too. You gave her a burning kiss, nipping at her lip before you mouth left a trail of kisses down her body, practically moaning at the sight of her soaked cunt when you settled between her legs. You didn’t give her any recovery, burying your face against her, lips pulling her lower ones into your mouth, resulting in a loud groan from her. You slowly and determinedly fucked her with your mouth, groaning at her absolute sweetness, relishing in the feeling of her hand grasping your hair. You plunged your tongue into her pussy, lapping at the escaping juices, nearly amazed at how fucking sweet she tasted, eyes closed, mouth humming against her cunt. Your lips moved up, sucking her clit into your mouth, fingers plunging into her heat as she let out a loud moan of your name, hips thrusting off the bed. You nearly chuckled against her thigh, nipping at it before you continued your assault on her clit. It only took a matter of minutes, you were too skilled, she was too touch starved, she came fucking hard around your fingers. Gently, you pulled your fingers out, kissing your way up her body, settling beside her, an arm wrapped around her as you softly traced her bare, panting skin. A few moments passed until she seemed to come back to earth.

“You okay?” You murmured, giving her shoulder a kiss.

“Yeah.” She let out a breath, not meeting your eye, slowly sitting up, grasping her phone off the bedside table, “I’ve got to go….family brunch tomorrow.”

“Oh..okay…”

“I’ll..see ya soon though…thank you.” Casey gave you a cheeky smile, collecting her clothes before making her way out of your apartment. You collapsed on the bed, feeling like a goddamn idiot, of course she had to go back to Harvard. If her last relationship got fucked up by long distance there was no way she was going to start one with you right now while you were state’s away. 

**

But that….that was three years ago. 

[thornedrose44]

Prompt: "Do it. Take a chance, I'm begging you. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been."

Read on AO3

“What is it?” Kara huffed out, her frustration finally reaching critical mass.

“What’s what?” Alex replied, playing dumb by pretending to study the DEO’s monitors far too intently considering Kara had literally just dispatched the rogue villain of the week.

Kara crossed her arms, hip cocked forward slightly as she leant against the central console, blue eyes observing her sister's profile closely.

“Whatever you’re not telling me because you think it will upset me.” The superhero clarified bluntly, her social hesitation and uncertainty having dampened over the last few years.

She had learnt the hard way how important it was to never shy away from the truth and avoid speaking around the heart of the matter. It was a lesson she had absorbed completely, and it was one she refused to forget - needing to prove she had evolved, had bettered herself from the version that had required teaching in the first place.

“I’m not…” Alex refuted, shrugging dismissively but keeping her gaze trained forward, “There’s no-“

“Look, I’m asking you out of courtesy,” Kara cut in, “but you and I both know that I could just as easily ask Nia, and she would fold almost instantly.”

Alex grumbled irritably under her breath - Nia still had yet to build an effective resistance to Kara’s puppy dog eyes and this particular weakness had caused no small amount of trouble for Alex over the last five years.

“It is Lena related, right?” Kara checked, though it was completely unnecessary.

For Alex to actively try and keep a secret from her, it couldn’t be about anything else. And it had been more or less confirmed by her sister's reaction to her threatening to go to Nia.

“Just because I’m keeping a secret, doesn’t automatically mean it’s to do with Lena.” Alex tried, though the conviction behind her statement was weaker than wet tissue paper.

The redhead side-eyed her and Kara merely had to arch an unimpressed eyebrow in return for the DEO director to deflate.

“Okay maybe it’s a little to do with Lena.” Alex admitted with a wince, rubbing the back of her neck in defeat.

Kara threw her hands up in exasperation. “It’s been over five years, okay? I’m fine!”

Her bellowed declaration of stability, made the nearby DEO agents look over with a mix of curiosity and concern. Kara grimaced at the reaction and as such didn’t resist when Alex grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the central room and into her private office.

Alex turned to face her fully, lips pressed tight together and hands firm on her own hips (it had always annoyed Kara that Alex managed to make her signature superhero pose far more intimidating than her own attempts).

“Yelling I’m fine, definitely helps your case.” Alex retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kara had the good grace to look suitably embarrassed for a moment before launching into the same variation of the speech she gave every time there was a morsel of Lena news to be had. “I screwed up, okay? Big time screwed up - ‘regret it for the rest of my life’ screwed up!” Kara declared prompting a beleaguered sigh from her sister who knew the blatant lie that was coming next. “But I’ve made my peace with it. I won’t spiral into another depressive episode when I hear how happy she is.”

Alex shook her head, not even remotely convinced - not that Kara could blame her, the last time Alex had been pestered into telling her a Lena update, Kara had spent a weekend on a drinking binge that had successfully proven that there were limits even for a kryptonian.

“I don’t think-“ Alex began.

“What is it?” Kara demanded. “Is she getting another medal from the president?”

Alex shook her head, jaw clenching and unclenching. “Kara, you don’t want to know this.”

“Her and Kal save the world again?” Kara barrelled on, her lips curling into a jealous snarl. “The greatest Luthor and Super duo continue to make the world a better place?”

That particular news article had been printed and burned by Kara’s heat vision more times than she dared admit to anyone.

“Kara, please-“ Alex begged, expression crumpling as Kara relentlessly pushed.

“Tell me, I can take it.” Kara proclaimed, voice coming out high pitched and strained. “Is she dating someone again? Another famous actress? That Olympic male gymnast? What-“

“She’s getting married.”

A bomb must have gone off, Kara thought to herself.

A kryptonite bomb.

It was the only thing that could explain the ringing in her ears, and the way everything just… hurt.

A shard of kryptonite must have pierced her chest and cut her heart into jagged pieces. That was the only thing that could explain it.

“What?” She questioned, barely above a whisper. She didn’t quite recognise her own voice - it sounded shattered and unfamiliar. She also didn’t know what she was asking.

Didn’t know what ‘what’ was all about.

What just happened?

What did you say?

What post-apocalyptic reality are we living in now?

“Next week, she’s getting married.” Alex explained, giving Kara answers she no longer wanted. “Sam, Ruby, Kal and Lois are invited.”

She knew it should sting. Not being invited even though they hadn’t spoken in nearly five years. That she should feel something about the fact that Lena had omitted Alex, Brainy, Nia and J’onn as well - it further reinforced how Lena believed them to be Kara’s friends and never hers (which was one of the things Kara regretted most - how her poor treatment of Lena had infected and destroyed everyone else’s friendship with the youngest Luthor).

“To who?” Kara asked, tone cold, hollow… empty.

“Kara,” Alex murmured softly, reaching out to comfort her sister, “this clearly isn’t good for you.”

Kara jerked backwards so fast that the papers on Alex’s desk shot into the air, fluttering down around the sisters like snow.

“Just tell me!” Kara ordered, hands turned into white knuckle fists at her sides that would be capable of tearing through the strongest of metals. Her eyes heated but she managed to stave the fire in them as she glowered at her sister.

Alex slumped back, leaning heavily against her desk, running a frantic hand through her short hair. “Does it matter?” Alex muttered defeatedly, brown eyes filled with pity and sympathy as she stared up into Kara’s eyes.

“Of course it fucking matters,” Kara snapped in outrage before she had a chance to stop and think , “because it’s not me!”

The admission hung heavy and rotting between them. It wasn’t a revelation to either of them, though the fact that the intensity of Kara’s feelings hadn’t dampened despite the separation of half a decade was.

“Kara…” Alex breathed, standing back up and moving towards the blonde with the obvious intent of hugging her.

“I should get back to CatCo.” Kara mumbled, cheeks a fiery red with shame. She stepped hurriedly away from her sister and was already halfway out the door before she halted, turning back to call out a sad yet sincere. “Thanks for telling me.”

Xxx

“I genuinely don’t get why you love these films so much.” Lena remarked, hands cupping her just made cup of cocoa, nose adorably scrunched up as she snuggled back down on the sofa beside Kara, who didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her best friend’s shoulders.

“They’re sweet and romantic.” Kara replied with a happy sigh, turning to nuzzle into the side of Lena’s head for a fleeting moment as the film’s lead started her joyful march down the aisle. “It makes me hopeful.”

“Hopeful?” Lena repeated curiously, leaning away slightly so she could meet Kara’s blue eyes.

Kara shrugged, ducking her head bashfully, “It’s stupid.”

“Hey,” Lena murmured gently, freeing a hand from her mug so that she could interlace her warmed fingers with Kara’s, “you could never be stupid, especially not about something like this.” Her best friend asserted, before asking seriously, “You want the classic big white wedding?”

“Uh…” Kara blushed, cheeks pinking as her mind struggled to kick into gear.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena that the reason she loved weddings more than any other event is because they so closely resembled Kryptonian Bonding ceremonies. That the exchanging of rings, polished everlasting metal, reminded her of wonderfully crafted bracelets clasped on wrists. That it was an occasion for family to join together across generations, for the rare flashes of art and music on Krypton to take centre stage over cold science.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena that after being alone, abandoned and lost - ripped away from her home in the cruelest of ways - that the idea of belonging to someone else, of having a home in someone else regardless of time or location was what Kara wanted more than anything else.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena because it would require admitting the truth of who she really was, it would require taking accountability for years of lies.

She didn’t know how to tell Lena without losing her forever.

“Yeah.” Kara coughed awkwardly, “I want the whole thing. Beautiful dress, surrounded by family… the love of my life at the end of the aisle. Everything.” She shot Lena a side-long glance, “I’m guessing you don’t?”

“Never really been my thing,” Lena admitted readily and Kara’s heart twisted at how Lena didn’t hesitate to bare herself, how she gave all of herself when it could be argued that Kara - at best - only gave half, “probably because I can’t imagine I have enough people in my life to invite and feel ‘surrounded’.” Lena pursed her lips thoughtfully, “I also don’t get the need for the spectacle. Just the idea that there’s someone out there that would want to…” Kara watched her best friend deflate, expression wistful and pained, “be with me, love me like that… that’s more than enough.”

Kara’s eyes stung with barely suppressed tears at how little Lena thought of herself. Whoever had the privilege of marrying her best friend would be the single luckiest and most fortunate person in the universe and Kara wished Lena knew that, wished she believed it. But when she opened her mouth to say it, to proclaim it, her breath faltered and her courage abandoned her… like it always did with the youngest Luthor.

“So no white dress?” Kara muttered instead, voice meek and lacking the lightheartedness that should have carried the question.

It didn’t matter, though, Lena let out a quick exhale that resembled something on the edge of laughter. Kara’s escalating heart rate settled at that, however, it did little to alleviate the pang of regret that was steadily accompanying all her interactions with the CEO.

“Well, I guess I could be convinced by someone special.” Lena teased, shooting Kara an overtly salacious wink that wouldn’t - on the surface - be considered genuine.

“Anyone that marries you will have to be special.” Kara replied, the statement tumbling out instantly.

It wasn’t the heartfelt confession that Kara wished it to be and it wasn’t quite light enough to be dismissed as a friendly reassurance. Instead, it was yet another thing that fell into the ethereal greyness that lied between them, something to tuck away and think back on late at night when they tried to work out if the other meant it the way they wished they did.

“Yeah?” Lena whispered, piercing green eyes studying Kara’s face closely.

Kara swallowed thickly, “Yeah.”

Xxx

Lena found out less than six weeks after that movie night. They defeated Lex and Kara had been on the edge of breathing easy, of being able to simply relax back into her life when it all came crashing down.

They had been at Games Night and Kara had been antsy, waiting for her best friend to arrive. The thought of pulling Lena into a hug had been what she had been looking forward to most all day.

Kara was at peace, laughing and drinking with her friends - her family - when Lena had arrived. Kara had beamed up at her immediately and for a second Lena’s entrancing green eyes lit up in return before turning dark and distant.

Kara’s smile faltered, crinkle appearing between her brows when-

The wine bottle smashed into the wall behind Kara’s head.

Deathly silence fell over the area.

Kara looked into hollow, emptied out versions of her favourite green. She would have preferred anger, fury, rage… the defeated nothingness staring back at the Kryptonian was far worse.

Lena turned and left, grinding Kara’s heart to dust and taking the sand particles left with her.

She knew.

She knew because Lex had told her.

She knew because she had gone to stop her brother, intent on saving the world like always only to find out that those she was saving the world for didn’t view her as their equal. That the people she treated as family had kept her on the outskirts. That her best friend had lied, had manipulated, had-

xxx

It was Lois that found out everything from Lena.

When the fallout had happened, as Kara and the Superfriends realised what they had lost, the blonde hero sent notice to her cousin that his identity was probably known as well (mostly because she remembered how hurt she had been when Kal shared her secret without her consent). Kal and Lois had arrived almost immediately, frantic and terrified (especially with baby Jon to consider) at the concept of a Luthor knowing their identity.

Kara, joined by all the Superfriends, quickly put their minds to rest, sharing Lena’s actions from before, her dependability, kindness and inherent goodness. Kal and Lois were convinced their secret was safe but they were horrified to hear how Lena had been isolated and kept at arms length after her considerable good deeds. Alex and the others had squirmed uncomfortably and tried to weakly talk around their hesitancy.

Kal and Lois had simply looked at Kara for an explanation but she had none. Yet again the words would not come.

It was Lois, therefore, that had sought out the youngest Luthor and through her incredible tenacity was able to gain access where everyone else was rebuffed and harshly rejected.

It was Lois that comforted Lena, gave her support and sympathy.

It was Lois that relayed Lena’s demand that they give her space.

It was Lois that suggested Lena return to Metropolis - presenting it as a way to celebrate how L-Corp, after Lena’s repeated sacrifices and heroism, was fully rehabilitated and ready to reclaim its once home.

It was Lois that encouraged Lena and Kal to work together becoming an unstoppable force that Kara and Lena had always danced on the precipice of.

A Luthor and a Super. Saving the world.

xxx

Kara did as asked. Gave Lena space. Or at least the semblance of space.

She checked in constantly, hovered nearby throughout the days and nights leading upto L-Corp’s departure and Lena along with it. She followed Lena’s jet to Metropolis, a sentinel ensuring safe passage.

She kept her distance for three months. Three months of stony silence before she broke.

Snapped, more like.

Landing on Lena’s new balcony in Metropolis that had been specially built for Superman this time - not for her, though Kara, at the time, had hoped that she had been considered consciously or unconsciously as well.

Kara couldn’t remember the exact words.

She remembered crying from beginning to end.

Remembered ‘I loved you’ - past tense.

Remembered finally breaking through Lena’s cold, hardened shell to the raw, bleeding wound hidden underneath and regretting it almost immediately.

Remembered how seeing Lena’s agony was worse than kryptonite, worse than watching Krypton burn…

Remembered Lena saying she needed time to heal, for Kara to stop hovering nearby - because she knew, she sensed Kara’s presence even without seeing her once - and to give her time to stop thinking of Kara and feeling only pain when she did so.

Remembered promising to do just that.

Remembered a timer starting to count in her head - the seconds that she would be condemned to purgatory.

Remembered the hope that just refused to go out - the hope that whispered give it time, give it time, give it time with every beat of her heart.

Remembered thinking that given enough time Lena would reach out and they would get the chance that Kara had almost destroyed for them.

Remembered flying zig-zagged and dangerous to Alex where her endless stream of tears returned to full flow as she sobbed into her sister’s shoulder using words and phrases like ‘heartbroken’ and ‘I love her’ and ‘I can’t survive this pain’ and ‘what do I do?’ and ‘I can’t breathe’.

Remembered a hollowed out shell of Kara Danvers moving through the motions for a year, for two, three, four… five...

Remembered taking up drinking to excess whenever she saw Lena’s life flourish and grow - not because she didn’t want Lena to be happy, that was what Kara wanted and wished for more than anything - because she wasn’t there with her for those life-changing events.

Remembered Alex and Kelly’s worries growing with each occurrence, intervening more and more to such a degree that they encouraged Kara to consider AA meetings - she did eventually, and found destroying entire junkyards to be a healthier coping mechanism, external destruction rather than internal.

Remembered Brainy at the behest of Alex, setting up Kara’s phone and computer to prevent searching for any keywords affiliated to Lena and to alert Alex if Kara ever managed to stumble upon a news article.

Remembered listening to Kal and Lois skipping large parts of stories where it was clear that Lena was involved - it was nice in some way to know Lena was getting the credit she deserved, but it hurt when Kal’s stories started to involve gaps at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year (events that made Kara’s loneliness even more acute and her longing intensify).

Remembered her life without Lena.

Remembered regret and guilt and loss.

Remembered-

“She’s getting married.”

xxx

Kara shouldn’t have been there. Shouldn’t be anywhere in the vaguest vicinity of where she currently was.

The bride was dressed in a simple silky white shift, sipping intermittently from her champagne glass as she stared contemplatively up at the designer white dress hanging off the door in front of her. Raven locks were pinned up, so tight and intricate that it made Kara wince sympathetically at how it must tug and pinch at the bride’s scalp - she’d always preferred it down, loose and curling… soft and inviting. The bride’s make-up was artistic with a dramatic edge that would captivate but made her look… not like herself in Kara’s opinion.

Or maybe after five years it made Lena look more like herself - the version of herself she had become once free of Kara and all the pain she brought into her life.

She was hovering outside the dressing room window, trying to work out how far she was willing to take this. If it would be better to leave without saying anything, to try and leave some part of Lena’s life unspoiled.

It was the fear that she had always given into when she was best friends with Lena that made her decision for her. Like speaking her truth and learning to ask for what she wanted - Kara had also promised herself that she would never allow that bone deep fear to stop her ever again.

The window was open and it was as good an invite as Kara was ever going to get.

“Lena?”

The beautiful bride-to-be jerked in her place, champagne glass nearly tumbling to the floor but saved at the last second.

She didn’t turn around for a beat… then two…

Kara was just about to escape back through the window when Lena exhaled slowly and pivoted round to meet her.

“Kara?” Lena breathed out, green eyes closed off and wary.

The kryptonian studied the love of her life for a moment, taking in every little detail - soaking it all up as if accepting that this would be the last time she might ever get to see it again. That the timer that had counted past five years would stop after this moment, the hope powering it gone forever.

“Don’t marry them, please.” Kara requested, no flowery language, no build up. Just the honest truth.

“What?” Lena’s jaw dropped and the champagne glass didn’t survive the second shock, crashing to the ground - released by trembling fingers.

“Don’t marry them.” Kara repeated, uncaring of how the carpet below them soaked up the amber liquid.

Lena’s expression flitted through an array of emotions before settling on indignant rage, “And why the hell not?!”

Kara didn’t flinch, didn’t retreat, instead she stood taller, the crest of her super suit catching the early afternoon light. “Because it should have been me. It still should be me.”

Lena scoffed in disbelief, “You can’t be serious. Now? You’re doing this now?”

Kara pursed her lips, fighting back the regret that always came with the reminders of countless missed opportunities. “Yes.”

The straightforwardness of Kara’s answers seemed to be throwing Lena, leaving her wrong-footed, clearly expecting the blonde to talk around and hint and imply like she used to.

But Kara had learnt. (The lesson had been too painful not to.)

“You had years, Kara!” Lena argued, “Years where I…. I threw myself at you. Practically begged you to love me… to trust me…”

“I know.” Kara replied sadly, wanting desperately to reach out when Lena’s pretty green eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. “I know. But I’m here now.”

“I don’t want you to be.” Lena muttered, arms crossed over her chest and head ducked downwards to hide her expression.

“I know that too.” Kara assured, fingers twitching with the desire to make contact, to comfort and coax - even after all these years her body remembered, the pathways of hardwired instinct related to her best friend were still there, still active even if temporarily closed for service.

“Then why are you here?” Lena murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Lena’s head snapped up at that, green eyes like saucers.

Kara’s single biggest regret was that she had never said those words to Lena before, had alluded and pointed at them during their final interaction but had never outright said them. And Lena had deserved to hear them then and deserved to hear them now to forever vanquish the doubts that had always been with her.

“Because I’m in love with you and we didn’t get our chance.” Kara affirmed, taking a half step closer to the bride, her red heeled boots and Lena’s bare feet meaning the younger woman had to tip her head ever so slightly back to maintain eye contact. “We didn’t get our chance because of me. Because I was afraid, I was so afraid of losing you. Of doing even the slightest thing that could mean you weren’t in my life. And in the end every action I took out of fear of losing you ensured just that. I’ve spent five years without you, Lena, and I can’t bear a single day more.”

“Kara,” Lena whispered, “I’m getting married.”

“I know.” Kara smiled sadly before adding, “Don’t.”

“What are you suggesting? Seriously?” Lena sighed, shaking her head mournfully and Kara knew she was losing her then.

“I’m suggesting that we have our chance now before it's gone forever.”

Gathering the small amount of courage Kara had left, she tentatively let her hands nudge forwards, brushing against Lena’s cool, pale fingers. That small contact was everything. Made it easier to breathe, made the colours of the world more vibrant, made everything just more.

“I let fear hold me back from the person that made me happiest in the entire universe and I won’t let it hold me back again.”

“Kara…” Lena whimpered, glancing back over her shoulder at the closed door that her wedding dress was displayed on, though she didn’t pull her hand away from Kara’s touch, didn’t flinch or retreat.

“Do it.” Kara pleaded, stepping across that final slither of distance between them, her forehead leaning forward to rest gently against the side of Lena’s, “Take a chance, I’m begging you. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.”

Lena inhaled shakily, head returning to forward facing - foreheads pressed against one another, breathing in the same air - and then… and then…

Lena’s hands slipped fully into Kara’s, fingers intertwining together.

[married-to-google-translater]

Hello, I can order some Yanderes! Vil, Azul, Malleus, Leona and Jack are in love with the reader who is practically the personification of the sloth in person (as if she only ate sweets and snacks all day and would rather spend her day inside her room playing video games, and she doesn't like to use cosmetics and makeup).

This is part 1/2 and I write this for Jack, Malleus and Azul. Reader is just like me... Or what else would you do if yandere had kidnapped you? It's a good opportunity to indulge in some expensive hobby and live on Yandere's money... Sorry I'm a horrible person XD part 2 here!

YANDERE JACK HOWL

"y / n are you okay You have been lying in the same position for the last two hours. Are you hurt? Do I need to call a doctor?"

He is very worried about your behavior at first.

Jack does extensive research on whether it’s normal for a human to lie down for five hours watching TV.

There will be a result that is not but as long as you look happy he will not intervene.

It’s actually safer this way.

Jack usually goes to the dungeon to get you two healthy foods.

He is surprisingly good at cooking.

He makes a sad puppy look if you don’t eat the food he cooks.

"Y / N see what I bought for you. A nice new game that allows you to perform daily exercise without leaving the living room."

You may soon begin to notice that you and Jack have moved into your apartment.

He takes care of you 24/7 and there’s no way you could get him to leave because Jack firmly believes you can’t survive without him.

YANDERE MALLEUS DRACONIA

Malleus makes your home door a video game path that leads to Diasomnia.

He hopes you start following the path so you can "accidentally" run into him there.

(You know you start collecting games from the ground and suddenly you find yourself at Diasomnia dorm)

His plan didn’t work because you’re so lazy you only collect from the ground for the first game and then you went back inside to play it.

Malleus is trying to improve his knowledge of video games through the internet. (A moment of silence for all the computers that Malleus destroyed in frustration)

Malleus never actually kidnaps you...

He will just lead you to his room which is full of your favorite games and various game consoles.

"*laugh* No Y / N you are in no hurry ... You can play in complete peace for as long as you want. Oh what do I do? I just locked the door so no one could disturb us"

Only when it is too late do you realize that Malleus will not allow you to leave anymore.

"Y / N be a good human or I'll turn off the electricity in our room. After that, you'll have to come up with something else to do."

YANDERE AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Friendship with Idia has prepared him for this moment.

"Y / N if you sign this deal I'll buy you all the new video games you ever want and you don't have to go outside anymore. Oh what do I want in return? Just your friendship."

If you had read the small print you would know that leaving his room, talking to others, and terminating a contract are strictly forbidden.

Azul can become very jealous if you don’t pay attention to him because of your games.

He turns off the electricity so you have to spend time with him.

Otherwise, Azul would love how lazy you are.

He will prepare you a lot of tasty dishes and feed them to you often.

Azul also loves to hold you in his arms when you play some video game.

"Isn't this the perfect Y / N? You get to be what you want and I get you all to myself. You're such a charming person"

It is best to answer Azul's questions in the affirmative

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hi yes im still alive

DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST--

HAVING A MOMENT TO PROCESS ALL THE LORE AND STORY CHAPTER 6 JUST DROPPED ON US, I CAN BARELY WRITE

AHHHHHHH, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS 😭 kjdbbaufbiafafvoaybo LEMME PUT ON MY THINKING CAP AND THROW SOME STUFF OUT ASDYUBUASDLI;AGVUOQIB;VI You’ll understand why I used Leona’s face here even though it’s Idia and Ortho’s chapter after you read my thoughts--

***Chapter 6 (and other main story) spoilers below the cut!***

Okay, just to keep it simple, I’ll try to keep things in chronological order!

First is a bullet point list of my thoughts on chapter 6 so far, then all my questions and theories (mostly a biggish theory on Ace) are at the end of the post.

Expectation: Idia cowering in his room, Vil and Rook busting down his door using Epel as a battering ram, dead Ortho theory confirmed

Reality: SWAT TEAM RAID ON NRC, DORM LEADERS (sans Kalim) AND JAMIL GET KIDNAPPED

Admittedly, I’m disappointed to see that the injury Grim inflicted to MC was basically just a cat scratch and nothing more. I thought it would be a lot more impactful if MC had to deal with juggling the realization that Grim has betrayed their friendship and trust while also on the verge of death (or at least while being severely injured)... And given how MC reacted to the attack at the end of chapter 5, I would think whatever struck them was much more substantial than just a cat scratch. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say either the script got scrubbed by Disney, or the intent was that MC was still woozy from VDC / OB Vil, MC felt so betrayed that it shook them emotionally, or that MC was just that weak by default that they can’t defend themselves against cat claws.

Hey, Ramshackle’s finally getting renovated! Proceeds to immediately get destroyed again--

I feel like????????? They tried to retroactively explain why Neige won to try and mitigate the uproar over how VDC ended. There’s some dialogue between the VDC group about how they didn’t perform at their peak because of having just walked out of dealing with OB Vil, and how Neige’s fans were going to vote for him anyway because they resonated with his background. Honestly, I think they should have moved on from that sore spot instead of bringing it up again, even if how chapter 5 ended didn’t personally bother me.

BOOM, HERE COME THE TWST TERMINATORS--

NOT GONNA LIE, THOSE STYX GUYS LOOK HOT SO COOL

AAAAAAND IT’S KIDNAPPING MONTAGE TIME, KIDS

JOABSFHUPAUABDBADB CALM DOWN, RIDDLE??????? YOU’RE GOING TO COMMIT ARSON IN BROAD DAYLIGHT--

Okay, I know this chapter’s focused on Ignihyde and Grim, but the standout part to me (so far) has been the scene where Leona’s being kidnapped. Historically, Leona has not been a character that I like (excluding that one time I had to pretend to like him for a game). I feel like he’s one massive missed opportunity (he didn’t show up much in chapter 2, he’s pretty similar backstory-wise to his Disney counterpart compared to the other Dorm Leaders, he didn’t seem to learn anything or become a better person even a LITTLE after chapter 2, etc.). I’m not a fan of his lazy and arrogant attitude either (even if it is justified by his backstory). But here? THIS IS THE LEONA I ACTUALLY LIKE AND WANT TO SEE MORE OF. 

LIKE????? I CAN’T DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS SCENE???? Yeah, we have Leona fighting STYX at first, but as soon as he realizes who they are, he wises up and surrenders because he knows better than to resist arrest. AND NOT ONLY THAT, but he uses King’s Roar in a smart way--to turn the falling greenhouse glass panes into sand so they don’t hurt anyone nearby (namely him and Ruggie).

And after he turns himself in????? LEONA TELLS RUGGIE TO TAKE CARE OF SAVANACLAW FOR HIM!!! THIS is what a real leader would do. He looks after himself and his people, but he knows when to surrender, AND he leaves his “kingdom” (the dorm) in good hands while he’s away. THIS is the Leona I want to see.

AJBDUASHPFBUABFIABIYFBIPFAAFIAF I ALSO REALLY LIKE HIS SASS WHEN HE JUST THROWS HIS HANDS UP AND ASDBIASBIABAIODDAYOFAIPPADAIDB SAYS “I’ll go with you, but be careful while escorting me, okay? Despite my looks, I'm a precious prince. I’ll get sick/dizzy if you drive recklessly.” SARCASTIC SASSY SMARTASS??????? IF YOU HAD MORE LINES LIKE THIS, I’D LIKE YOU MORE

I love how Azul’s still talking about capitalism/how he can profit from Idia (apparently the Shrouds are like the TWST equivalent of Google??????) as he’s being escorted away by the agents?????? IF I WERE HIM, I’D BE PISSED OFF THAT THEY INTERRUPTED MY BOARD GAME????? At least let the man finish first--

Damn, everyone’s being tasered???????? And apparently all the STYX agents are equipped with anti-magic plates? I guess Bind the Heart can just eat shit then--

Lilia’s ringtone is cute, period.

CROWLEY CALLED STYX TO CAPTURE GRIM???? GRIM IS OFFICIALLY A SCP THAT NEEDS TO BE CONTAINED????

WAIT WHAT CROWLEY’S BEING KIDNAPPED TOO??????? Oh well, the school is probably safer in Trein’s hands anyway--

askhlbfbilhidbabbidasb RIDDLE WAKES UP POST KIDNAPPING AND HE’S USING LEONA AS A LAP PILLOW?????!

How does it feel to be held in a room against your will, Jamil? Yeah, don’t like a taste of your own medicine, do you?

OH HI IDIA, NICE YZMA MAD SCIENTIST GETUP YOU GOT THERE

Wait, what????? THAT’S IT?????? SERIOUSLY???????

MAN.

I have so many questions??????? Specifically about STYX and what they do, and how the Shrouds are tied into all of it.

So they say STYX is a specialized unit called in to quell serious Overblot cases. And if Crowley called them to deal with Grim... well, bad times ahead for Grim. STYX has also been studying Overblot for a long time, which is why (I think?) they captured Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, and Vil. 

There’s been some allusions made between Grim and Stitch in a lot of fan art and fan theories I’ve seen, since their struggles have some parallels: that being them struggling to decide if they are “good” or “bad”. I don’t know if this was intentional on the part of the TWST writing team, but regardless, it’s a really good concept that plays into the themes of TWST itself. There’s no good, there’s no evil, no black and white--most of the characters we see may be BASED on villains, but that doesn’t MAKE them villains. They are good, and bad, in their own ways--and now Grim is dealing with that crisis as he fights to keep his sanity and avoid completely succumbing to Overblot.

Though Idia seems to be involved with STYX’s research, it doesn’t sound like he personally gave the order to retrieve those test subjects (or at the very least, he’s not happy about roughing up the test subjects), it sounds like the orders came from other people in the organization. His parents, perhaps?

They mention briefly that Idia’s parents are asking him to “come home”, so it must be for something urgent. Are they worried about his safety? But Idia’s lines at the end of chapter 5 lead me to think he is estranged from his family, since he straight up rejected a job offer linked to them (Olympus Corp is owned by the Jupiter family, and the Shrouds are a branch family of Jupier), and says something like “I’m not welcome anywhere”. Has Idia done something to disgrace him from the rest of the family? Or is it more of a self imposed/self inflicted statement, given that he always says he’s “cursed” and acts like he’s guilty of something that deserves scorn?

Why is Idia participating in STYX research, even if it means experimenting on his fellow students (and fellow board game enthusiast Azul)? People are speculating that he wants to use blots to fully revive Ortho (if dead Ortho theory is true), or that Idia actually has heroic intentions (he wants to know more about blots to prevent OBing from happening?), but at this point??? Literally anything could happen?!

In future parts, I’m guessing Pomefiore, MC, and Adeuce will team up to break Jamil and the Dorm Leaders (except Malleus, Malleus got left out again www) out? And HOPEFULLY we get to see Rook’s Unique Magic or at least more screen time, since I feel like he got so little in chapter 5... Another thing I’d like to see is Ace and/or Epel getting their Unique Magic, or at least starting to develop it. It’s really mostly Ace I want more details for.

A theory I’ve been holding onto for a long time is that Deuce getting his UM will spur Ace on to become jealous (since he has always seen Deuce as an idiot/”lesser” than him), and that will cause a rift in the friendship, or for Ace to throw himself into a dangerous situation to prove himself (he has done it before with Riddle)... and has his ass rescued again. This would make Ace even angrier, since he feels like everyone is treating him like a little kid or rubbing it in that he isn’t “as good” as they are. I don’t know where it would go from there (I’m sure TWST would get creative), but ultimately it would culminate in Ace making amends with everyone and rushing in to save them from either Grim or Idia OB.

I don’t think Ace would discover his UM in a similar manner as Deuce (Deuce had to embrace his own stubbornness and straightforwardness, but as the term “Unique” Magic implies, the way a magic develops and manifests is “unique” to the user). While Deuce has to learn to accept his own way of thinking, I believe Ace is already sure of his own way of thinking and has totally accepted it. I think what Ace has to deal with instead is coming to terms with his fickleness. We’ve seen him time and time again treating his loved ones kind of callously, from constantly bullying MC, Grim, and Deuce to ghosting his own girlfriend and flaking on people when they are counting on him to do a task.

The issue with Ace isn’t that he isn’t aware, it’s that he is aware and he seems to think this behavior is totally okay. He demonstrates little to no remorse in what he does and says, and he doesn’t seem to care about the consequences either (how many times does he get punished by Riddle, yet he keeps doing the same dumb things over and over?). Ace appears to operate under the mindset of always being in the right, or (if he’s in the wrong), he won’t really acknowledge it, or he will wave it off as “no big deal”--and I think that’s his greatest weakness.

In the scenario I described earlier, I mentioned that Ace’s jealousy will cause a wedge between him and his friends, and I think this will play into him realizing the error of his ways. When he has finally driven away all of the people that supported him, what will he have left? Nothing. Then maybe Ace suddenly finds himself relating to Idia, or to Grim, who have Overblotted and are in a similar emotional state as he is. Confused and lonely... and that energizes him to pitch in again, even if all he has is wind magic up his sleeve. Everyone could be shocked that Ace has returned, and in that moment, he could finally realize his true potential and unlock his Unique Magic!

(Maybe that’s too specific, but that’s a scenario that I’ve had playing in my head for a long time!)

... Buuuuut given that Ace has gotten little to no spotlight so far in chapter 6, I’m not sure if they’ll lean into him developing his UM yet (unless they pull a chapter 5 and really start addressing Ace in the latter half of the chapter like they did with Deuce). Seeing as chapter 6 is dealing with a lot of heavy topics (death, Grim lore, Overblot lore), I’m thinking maybe the TWST team will push off Ace’s UM development to chapter 7???? The only way I can see it happening in chapter 6 is if the chapter is SUPER long, or if the writing is REALLY good or really bad. 

Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers crossed!!! I’m so excited for the rest of chapter 6... I hope that we don’t have to wait too long for it!