#I just need to get this one out of my system lol
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hey mods!!! I loveeee your taste in fics, you awesome ppl always have amazing ones on hand!! I was wondering if you knew any fics where Aziraphale and Crowley are just absolutely silly and ridiculous lol, it’s soo cute!! Thx for all the fics, and have a nice dayyy
Hi! You might like to check out our #humour, #humor, and #crack tags for silly fics. Here are some more silly ones for you...
You're Telling Me a Shrimp Fried This Rice? by absolutely_obsessed (G)
"A 𝘴𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘱?" "Oh, yes." "The little..." Crowley lifted his hand up and held his pointed finger and thumb about three inches apart, "little buggers in the ocean?" "The very same," Aziraphale confirmed. "𝘊𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 that?" "Quite right, my dear." "𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺?" Crowley asked, 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 baffled. "Really."
Fighting A Duck For My Pants And Winning by ineffablefool (T)
"Missed connection. You were the angel sitting on this park bench, I was the demon fighting a duck for my pants and losing. If you saw me, please call me. (PS. I got them back - let’s hang out!)" (Based on a Tumblr prompt. Human!Crowley is a disaster, but fortunately the very pretty angel he disaster'd in front of appears to think that's endearing.)
Dear Raphael by asideofourown (T)
The thing was, even after Crowley Fell, Heaven forgot to delete his login to their system. The only half interesting thing he had ever found in Heaven’s archives was their newspaper, even though it was a dreadfully dull rag. But even then, Crowley was never inspired to truly interfere with the Celestial Observer’s contents until the late 1600s, when advice columns were invented on Earth. As always, brilliant inspiration struck him like… like whatever inspiration strikes like. So Crowley resolved to meddle, just as a side project. Maybe if he got enough angels heated at each other, he could report it as a victory to Hell. Anyway, Dagon had always liked gossip, and the Celestial Observer’s new advice column was a ready source of that. It was pure genius. [Crowley, demon of Hell, becomes Heaven's foremost advice columnist]
"And I Would Never Say 'Pickle'!" by SanSanFanFan (G)
What if they hadn't been able to switch back again?
You Know the Answer (So Scream It Out Loud) by his_infinitevariety (G)
“Between us we have 12,000 years’ first-hand knowledge of all of human history. I think we can manage a few silly quiz shows.” This is apparently what happens when Crowley convinces Aziraphale to watch a bunch of British quiz shows with him.
Haunt Your Own House, Thank You by musegnome (E)
The line had at last dwindled to almost nothing when Aziraphale looked up with his best plastic customer-service smile and saw sunglasses. “Hi,” said Crowley with a grin. “Someone told me I needed to order something if I didn’t want to get tossed out on my ass.” “An excellent suggestion on Someone’s part.” Aziraphale’s exhaustion melted suddenly away. “What can I get you?” The grin turned wicked. “I want a footlong.” Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “Don’t we all.” (Or: The story of how Crowley, and Ouija boards, got banned from Subway. Inspired by the famous Ouija Boards and Seances are Not Allowed at the Subway photo.)
- Mod D
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i'd like to say that this year was more of a planning year than a writing year; not to say that i didn't write; but i spent a lot more time on outlining, worldbuilding, and a new skill that i've added to the fold -- conlanging(!!). because of that, i didn't hit all the goals i made last year but tbh that's aight. without further ado tho:
TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN [january 2024-november 2024]
111,535 (as of 11/15)
once again, if this was all in one place, that would be a full novel but. speaking of full novels:
2024 GOAL STATUS
❌ reach 150k words written overall ✔️ finish cage like it’s GOING to happen i will it ❌ finish the first draft of paramour!!!
so i'm only 1 for 3 and tbh i'm not that mad about it. finishing cage back in february was one of the biggest writing highlights of this year because i showed myself i could do it, i CAN finish something of novel length if i really put my mind to it.
(and yeah, i really did go and get it printed out lmao)
and more than just the accomplishment of writing 82k in one piece, it's also helped me really understand and work out what systems and processes i need to have set up prior to writing to make it work. this is why outlining has been such a huge undertaking for me this year, in varying levels of success (lmao). having a fully fleshed out outline with the literal beat by beat playout of how i want the story to go helped me TREMENDOUSLY in pushing through cage. even on chapters that were rough for me, having that outline to fallback on made it so much easier to stick to a every week one chapter system. and its something i plan to implement with my original wips too.
the only issue is, because original work inherently requires more work since there's no framework except what's in your own head... its been a bit slower for me writing wise. BUT next year i will be operating out of a desperate need for whimsey so i think i'm going to make my goals much.... less stressful than i did this year.
2024 WRITING HIGHLIGHTS
FINISHED CAGE! biggest accomplishment in my life right now tbh. seriously if you haven't and you have any interest in overwatch at all go read it and leave me nice comments while you're at it lol. technically i am working on the interlude piece between cage and its eventual sequel, schism, but that's been kinda slow going as i don't have much motivation to do it right now. first chapter of it is also up on ao3 though -> interlude - quiet
created a conlang??? in a very bizarre turn of events i have created a conlang for my wip with the working title HE WHO SMITES THE SUN (under the tag #s: ph). the language itself is called dzonime'si and if you want to see more of that process check out my #ren fights linguistics tag :)
finished the entire "first draft" of my wip betwixt thumb and forefinger--which is actually an idea that i only thought of this year so that's fun. for the uninitiated it is a gothic reimagining of twilight but with a shit ton more body horror and prochoice commentary. the reason first draft is in quotations is because it is technically a 16k word long outline that i am considering draft one. draft 2 is literally me going bullet point by bullet point and expanding the draft into something more akin to prose. i do have the first few paragraphs of draft 3 started, which is where i'm going to attempt actual prose writing for the first time. pretty much, btaf is becoming a very lengthy process but it's my first "test drive" on how this new outlining to written prose for my original projects will go. i've just gotten... distracted by other wips since then.
2025 GOALS
to be honest, i don’t know if i have many hard goals for next year. mostly because of *gestures at the state of the world right now* :))))))) it’s blatantly obvious that when things are tough, it becomes more difficult to do the things that you want to do that bring you joy. amid trying to just survive the day to day, there’s also my desires to get more involved in bothering the FUCK out of my senators, looking into ways i can be more involved locally (without burning myself out) and just generally trying to not let the state of the world get me down.
i think there’s a lot of things i want to do. i want to finish a bunch of outlines for my wips becuase i can’t tell you how REWARDING it’s been to be able to fully just go back and reread btaf’s outline whenever i like (and have the AMAZING multi leave comments on it like that’s actually another huge highlight of this year thank u friend 💛) and get excited about telling this story all over again. it motivates me to keep doing it! i'd also love to finish btaf's draft 2, maybe try and finish interlude - quiet etc. but—long story short. i don’t think i’m going to put myself on for any particular goals. next year is going to be about celebrating wins in any and every capacity. so all i wanna do is give myself wins.
looking forward to seeing y’all next year, crying about our ocs as usual
💛 ren 💛
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Me: I'm not gonna start writing another fic until I've edited and posted every chapter of my current fic so I can put all my energy into finishing it.
Also me: Has just started writing a fic about Hobie and Sage because the fic idea would not leave me alone!!!
#I swear I've written this fic in my mind so many times already#so now I finally decided to just cave in and write the draft at least#maybe that way it'll finally leave me alone lol#don't worry I'm still planing on finishing my current fic!#I just need to get this one out of my system lol#also I realised I haven't really posted much about Sage ever since I first mentioned him so at least I'll remedy that I guess#idk if people even care to read a fic with Sage but I'm gonna write it anyways lol#cause the kid refuses to leave me alone until I've written this fic it seems#Sage is my oc btw. he's a younger Hobie variant with a symbiote who Hobie helps out cause he's been through a lot#I've made some posts about him but lately I've been putting most of my writing energy into my current fic so I have't written much about hi#planning on writing a fic with his origin story once I'm done with my current fic#but it's gonna be long so I guess we'll have to wait and see#I guess it'll also depend on whether anyone's actually interested in reading it#otherwise I might just write it for myself <3#oh well one thing at a time#hobie brown#spider punk#sage#symbiote!hobie#my post
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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under the dying sun, under the extinguished stars
#钟离#morax#zhongli#I NEEDED TO GET THIS ONE OUT OF MY SYSTEM SO I CAN START DOING OTHER STUFF W MY LIFE LOL#so funny when i say other stuff i literally just mean my other zhongli wips 😭
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a scene I pictured if Zevlor was romanceable. part of my doodles for him: [x]
fake romance scenes (1/?) - Zevlor
ver. with blood below
#spoilers#zevlor#tavlor#zevlor x tav#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 fanart#spoiler tag just in case? technically not because this can't happen T-T#had to get this out of my system because i want it to happen so bad lol#hello TOW followers he is my next Vicar Max <3 send help#so normal about him ahhh <3 <3#just want to hug him so bad. he needs one!!#bg3#bg3 fake romance
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Okay LISTEN. Kylux has such beautiful parallels and opposites in their life stories that it's almost beautiful.
The height of Ben's life was him being young. He was naturally gifted, had a great family, and a promising future. There were problems, but he had friends, and he was thriving. Then he grew up and renounced his identity as Ben and things went downhill.
Hux's childhood on the other hand was his low point. It wasn't until adulthood that he rose up and became stronger.
Kylo killed his father because he loved him. Snoke saw it as a weakness and made him do it. It tore him apart.
Hux killed his father because he hated him. He needed to thrive and that had to happen with Brendol's death.
Hux is reserved and handles his emotions accordingly, rarely ever doing more than raising his voice whenever the occasion permits it.
Kylo can't control his emotions and only acts in anger, unable to ground himself as well as Hux does.
They're opposites but also so much alike. Violent, self serving, desiring full control over the throne.
So alike yet so different. I mourn the loss of the duel of the fates script because in that they actually did come together. Rey refused Kylo's help so Kylo took Hux's hand. Let him lead, obeyed enough to shave his entire head simply because Hux found it too disorderly. Original Hux was fascinated by the force, he wished he had it. While Kylo's life is ruined by it.
Sometimes, I think that Kylo and Hux's relationship was tarnished just to make Rey and Kylo seem more probable. Those two were stronger together, and the writers tore them apart. But they're perfect together, opposite yet one in the same.
#kylux#ky rambles#im sorry if this one got away from me a bit but you get it right??#they're on some yin and yang shit with how their lives overlapped#and the final thing they have in common is that neither of their deaths were satisfying ends to their stories#let them find solace in each other#let them heal their pain through shared experiences#i know people like reylo but they just dont have the same type of lives and experiences as hux and kylo#ok done tagging i just needed to get this out of my system lol
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i was so excited to listen to glass animal's new song 'creatures in heaven' today and instead my heart has been ripped out because it's so awfully painfully fitting for our mota boys (i'm currently making an angsty heartache–y edit to it lol whoops) BUCKLE UP because i need to yell (and keep scrolling if lyric analysis/song fics aren't your thing <3)
also tumblr keeps screwing with the formatting ignore that pls lol
What do you think about when you think about love? I'm dumbstruck when you're tender, but It's three in the morning, be in the moment It tears through my head, does it haunt you too?
i mean, the imagery. pillow talk, sneaking off base before dawn, vulnerability and raw honesty laying side by side in a field, looking up at the stars and wondering which ones are the people they've lost looking down at them, every peaceful, happy moment laced with the knowledge that so many friends will never get to have another one.
You held me like my mother made me just for you You held me so close that I broke in two
fuck my life. dave bayley count your days. these lines are just so viscerally painful and stunning? john feeling like every core of his being was made to fit gale, like puzzle pieces slotting together, the gaps in his life filled the moment gale enters his orbit. both of them never having experienced being treated so gently and with so much reverence, feeling taken apart and put back together in each other's arms.
You pass through my head, does it haunt you too? Never really said that I loved you, too
heavy on the angst here because this reads like post–war john pov, filled with regrets but plastering on a smile as he watches gale marry someone who isn't him, aching to tell him how he feels but knowing it will only make a mess of things. and more than anything, he wants gale to be happy, and if that means staying quiet and loving him at arm's length, he can do that. but late at night he can't help but wonder if gale ever thinks about what could've been, if all the moments they shared haunt him too.
Lucky, lucky you, 'cause I'm fortune's fool Such small words but they hit so huge
this reminded me of gale's father and his gambling and how despite everything he falls in love with john, a gambling man. such small words (don't count on it) but they mean everything :(
I don't think I realize Just how much I miss you sometimes We were young and so in love
this hurts on SO MANY LEVELS. i immediately read this as curtbucky– john never gets time to grieve, everyone just has to keep trucking on. but sometimes late at night it hits him so hard he feels like he's drowning, realizing how empty of a space curt's left, how much he truly loved him, the first person to make him feel that way.
but also can be read as buckbucky, both of them properly feeling the emptiness of not being by each other's sides for the first time before they reunite at the stalag, maybe both having a feelings–realization moment when they're hit with how wrong everything feels when they're apart.
or, post–war, john aching for gale and wishing on everything that he can just fall out of love. he knew that it would be hard, going back home and going their separate ways, even with the promise to stay in contact, but it's so much harder than he ever could have imagined.
Three in the morning, safe inside Bury me here in your laundry pile
ouch ouch ouch. a few images: john seeking out one of gale's worn shirts after his plane goes down, falling asleep with it pressed to his chest in his bed. or john stealing one of gale's shirts before they all go back home post–war, shoving it to the bottom of his suitcase, sleeping with it every night despite the way his stomach turns, feeling hollowed out as the smell of him slowly fades away. or, john staying at gale and marge's house for the wedding, having a breakdown the night after, finding himself on the floor of their laundry room at three am, curling up in a pile of dirty laundry just to feel close to gale one last time before he goes home in the morning.
I don't see the point in a subtle romance Ten tonne heartache sitting on your back
john is so all or nothing with love; when he's in, he's in, barrelling full speed ahead, giving it all up for his person. maybe the secrecy when they first start seeing each other is okay at first, little midnight rendezvous, but he craves more, he wants a future with gale so badly, he wants a house and a wedding and kids and a dog and sitting side by side on a porch at eighty years old. but he knows that gale is giving him all that he can right now, and it's better than nothing, so even though he wants so much more, he'll settle.
Scared of the crack where the light comes through I'm only really me when I'm here with you
ughhh both of them being so scared to be really seen by someone that it's terrifying how quickly they grow close. that nauseating feeling you get right after opening up to someone for the first time, the feeling of holding your breath waiting for rejection– but it never comes. they accept each other with open arms and patience and unconditional love and they show each other what it's like to be able to be so fully unapologetically real with someone for the first time. a shell of themselves when they aren't together, like they're missing one half, and it's so obvious that everyone around can see it. they share the same name for a reason.
And it gets into your head like a cosmic zoom Coat on the door like an old space suit So long cowboy, you're so cool Cash in hand with a memory of you
okay, ngl this just made me think of john ditching his coat that gale hates– even in the heat of going up on a mission, it's still in his head, enough to go through the motion of swapping it out. so long cowboy just sounds like something sweet he and curt would've said to each other honestly; thinking about john saying it again when he looks up at the stars the night he finds out curt didn't make it.
cash in hand with a memory of you? come onnn it's literally the lucky deuce. may as well have just slapped that bit of the song behind the scene of gale going through his belongings when he makes it back to base, picking up the cash and thinking about his man. </3
–anyway! apologies for the word–vomit, sometimes i just get a song wedged into the front of my skull and i am paralyzed from doing anything else until i get my thoughts out about it. and it's truly such a gorgeous song, 10/10 recommend if you feel like crying, been listening to these guys for a decade now and they never disappoint.
literally gonna agonize over making an edit for this for hours to get the vision just right and would not be surprised if i end up writing a oneshot inspired by it lol i adore every song they've put out but this one just gripped me so strongly the moment i pulled up the lyrics with how perfectly it slotted into the mota–verse. <33
#i don't even know how to tag this#curtbucky and buckbucky pain ig lol#johnslittlespoon brainrot#this is so funny literally no one cares i just needed to get this out of my system#thank you and fuck you glass animals for another stunning song#also i was looking at the album tracklist and one of the songs is called 'how i learned to love the bomb' watch that give me brainrot too#july nineteenth will be my last day on this earth methinks#johnslittlespoon musicrot
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#Ruining the semi normal sleep schedule I'd managed 2 keep going for like a week cus of paranoia 😎#This is ofcthe one time I'm like Actually fucking sleepy#I shocked myself earlier n am in a spiral about the whole “even a semi small shock can fuck up ur heart hours or days later” thing#Which idk if thats unreasonable paranoia or like normal n smart#The internet is 50/50 on it lol#Mom says im being paranoid. Called a like phone nurse about it who said it'd be smart 2 get it checked just 2 be safe#But it's late and doesn't feel serious enough for the er?#Also the er is hell. U just sit there for Hours waiting n then get looked at for 5 minutes told n2 wait even more n then told 2 just go hom#So I am just kinda... existing.. until stuff opens n I can hopefully see a doctor about it or something:)#And cus I was already feeling kinda sick Before the shock I can't be sure if I actually have any symptoms of something worrying#AAAAND my anxiety about the whole thing is making me over analyze every heartbeat or muscle twitch#N tricking my brain into believing shit that's not real#I wanna nap so bad but my brain won't let meee#Ok ramble is done... I just needed 2 get this out of my system somewhere...#Can u believe I use 2 think I didn't have anxiety?? I was all Oh yeah I'm Super chill 😎 while sirens played in my head 24/7#rambles
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what if I change my major again,,,,,
#a bit of a vent im sorry#who likes computer science anyway?#uhhh im having another crisis I think LOL#have I ever explained my full School Situation here before ??#idk#TLDR im was majoring in psychology. had an oh shit I don't wonna do 90% of psych things moment#already had 90% credits needed to graduate by end of year two. might as well tack on another major then#and instead of like... sociology. business. human development family services. I fucking chose computer science.#and im on my computer 99% of the time anyway..#whyyyy#fuck me I hate cs#head in hands#but idk what I want to do thats the issue#and I don't wonna get shoehorned into something I hate#but I feel like im not particularly Good At Anything anymore#like I spread myself too thin instead of committing to Just One Thing#ugh#:(#IDK it just made sense like. it was something I could do to get money#I just think I need to have a proper breakdown over this and get it out of my system
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i always say im able-bodied bc i feel like it best describes my General Lived Experience but i do have that like. thing in my legs where if i walk briskly for some distance (like 500 meters) i get this crushing pain in my whole lower legs which gets worse and worse if i keep walking until i eventually have to sit down for a few minutes and wait for it to go away. which im still trying to get diagnosed bc so far artery scans and muscle ultrasounds render nothing. and ngl it is like, an issue often enough and is a pretty bothersome thing when it happens (like not only bc its extremely painful but also having to find some place to sit down in the middle of the street and having to stay there a while isnt awesome) so im not entirely sure "able-bodied" fully describes me but i also am not sure its a disability bc we dont know wtf it is. so i guess im kind of in a weird inbetween where i err on the side of just assuming its not a disability and its just like, an annoying body thing..
#97#i guess if it happened every single day or something i would probably feel more confident identifying it as like....#idk some type of disability or at least something worth integrating into my definition of my general health#and ensuing relationship to my body to the medical system etc etc#but bc it only happens when i walk briskly for a bit and i dont even go out for a walk every day it doesnt feel worth mentioning#anyway ive had this since 2019 or 2018 lol but the first round of attempted diagnosing i gave up early#and for a few years i just ignored it which is easier when i dont get out a lot anyway#but im currently in the process of attempting to figure out what it is again..#by september ill know if its compartment syndrome which has been brought up but is apparently unlikely#thats the last exam were doing so. if its not that then ngl idk what the next options are#bc this was everything my doctor could think of to explain it#another thing abt it not being diagnosed and not clearly being a disability is i dont dare ask for a seat in public when i need one lol#which has been an issue a few times where every seat is taken but i REALLY need to sit to stop the pain#if i could say 'excuse me i have (x thing) i really need a seat' id maybe dare to ask#but i dont manage to just be like 'hey could i get a seat my legs hurt' lol
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I won’t lie to you all… I’m on a holiday with a friend and it has mostly been lovely but today she was stressed about stuff and likely took it out on me at one point in a way that was really unfair and we did part for a while and I cried. she later said sorry and that I hadn’t done anything wrong so clearly felt bad about it (only after I apologised though, mostly to see if she’d let me get away with taking the blame but she took responsibility herself, which was at least positive) but like it is true that about 5% of the time this friend can be difficult and it’s just hard to manage when it happens
#also I’m sorry but sometimes she is inconsiderate and a bit rude#and at one point today it was especially staggering#bc I’d walked 30 minutes through the 37c heat to get to her#and when I arrived to the street I sat down somewhere a moment and said I needed a minute to recharge bc I felt overheated and dehydrated#she then is like ‘well I’ve been here for a while and kind of want to go right away. you don’t have to come’#like…….. excuse me? can you consider my real needs for a moment?#obviously I don’t want to be left here. I’m sorry but my mother would have kicked me if I’d said that to a friend#anyway she has apologised and it’s fine I just needed to get it out of my system#and quite frankly that wasn’t the main event that was about an hour later when we reunited#but I’ve made my peace she got hot and bothered. I know she cares about me it’s just hard sometimes#it’s also lowkey only child behaviour I’ve known other only children like this lol#moth.txt
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ALSO when im re reading fics i wrote i explode when i notice i repeated the same phrase over and over and over again kfdlsjfklsd. why did i say a variation of "left as quickly as it came" three times in this one fic that im not even halfway through rereading.... #girl get new words
#oughghghgghghhghg#taking a break from python to transfer my fic notes from my sketchbook onto google doc in one spot and to just plan the next parts out#rereading some of my older jamiazu fics for brain assist but. skfjdsklfjks#meet me in the middle has some similar story elements that i was maybe going to borrow from#and overall i like that fic but god why do i repeat myself so much LOL AUGHHH#i also started that trey/cater fic a lil bit ago but that might take me a while to write bc#oughh i care them so much i NEED it to come out decently#anyway um. brainstorming a lil to get it out of my system then back to studying python and ougghgh applying 4 jobbies#i almost had a new portfolio piece ready#but then when my partner went to pull my changes to implement with his new code#uhhh he did some mistakes and he lost a ton of his recent work.............#so like my stuff is fine. but the code he wrote to implement that was just gonna take a few min is gone#so he has to mourn the loss of his work and then rewrite it and i dont wanna pressure him#but houghhghgh i was ready to record and upload it#actually i kinda can cheat it since im just demoing the effects#but it would probs look better with what he made specifically for it?#idk we'll see
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Let’s put it all on the line, see who’s victorious (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#IRL vent stuff in the tags be warned#I've mentioned offhand that Kaiein is inspired by various sources but overall mostly on one person#And I've been very low contact with that person for years now - but I'm going to meet with them in the near future#I'm nervous as you can imagine haha#But I'd like it infinitely more to have to change Kaiein than to have him reinforced so I'm trying to feel hopeful as well#Either way I'm prepared. Either I get to do some rewriting or I have a very well-worn established outlet#Haha - it's a bit funny actually since there's no one-to-one translation but there is a kind of asymmetrical equivalence going on here#I pretty much never include my family in my sonas' stories - which is double funny since I love being an older sibling so much lol#That aspect rarely makes it into my sonas! I guess I feel like it's not my place to make characters for my loved ones lol#But IRL they're my support system <3 I'm in good hands and I trust them to have my back with what I need to face#And Charm has her wings! The Staff! She has something to rely on that make her more capable and confident!#It's not The Same Thing but it's how it feels ♥ The power of love and friendship!! It makes me stronger!!#And that's what makes the difference between Charm as a villain and a Hero :)#I used her TVAU outfit here - or one of the temps anyway :P - but honestly this is probably how S2 would go down hehe <3#You're no match for Charm when she knows she's loved!! She'll fight you to full defeat!#I wonder how he'd react#Guess I'll find out real soon#Wish me luck
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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i love him
[Image ID: A small pink rubber dinosaur. Its long neck is bent slightly backwards and to the side, so it looks as though it is tilting its head in curiosity.]
#as always let me know if the ID needs improving!!#hes so silly and also very sticky#hes one of those little mochi toys and sometimes mochis are sticky sometimes they aren't#he is of the especially sticky variety#i got him from the library bc every month they leave little things hidden on the shelves#that you can take back to the counter for a prize if you find one#this time they were little paper treasure chests#back in february they were little valentines#they're hidden through the entire library too so i can get the trinkets as an adult and not feel weird lol#i like my library a lot they have fun little scavenger hunts and don't have fines bc its part of a big library system#and they have like. not just media to check out. but also board games and baking tins and tools and stuff#and they have just a really nice elevator it's one of the better elevators I've used with my wheelchair
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