#I just got this screenshot and thought I’d share

[fallow-foot]

Beware! She may be the queen the castle but she also is damn good at haunting herself with it.

[weep-for-the-night]

I attended the art gallery in game last night and it was awesome! I’m sure other people have better screenshots than me but I just had to share.

I find it really cool and interesting that the different places are based on different virtues.

Also lemme just say, the guardian spirit here looks kinda creepy. I wonder why they depicted him this way?

Also WE GOT LORE!!! WE GOT OFFICIAL LORE!!! The king sacrificed himself in order to produce a new generation of Sky children. Which fits Eden’s aesthetic of Sacrifice. But WHY did he have to, and who was he fighting? I’d love some more context behind this.

Sky lore peeps! Share your thoughts!!

[2hoothoots]

saw this post in the tag earlier talking about how we never really get a detailed look inside Maligula’s mind, and it got me thinking about the themes of the game again so I’m gonna use it as a jumping-off point. because i agree, it’s very significant that we never get to really see Maligula/Lucrecia as she used to be! but i think that fact actually makes the game much stronger, especially on a thematic level.

Lucrecia’s presence haunts the narrative throughout Psychonauts 2. at first, we can only make her out through her absence. she’s the seventh stump around the campfire, the missing center of a torn photo. we see glimpses of her in the ruined fragments of Ford’s mind. in Helmut’s mind, she’s a looming specter, a shadow of the friend he once knew. in Gristol’s mind, she’s a celebrated war hero. and as the game goes on, we learn that everything in Psychonauts 1 – the Aquatos leaving Grulovia, the family ‘curse’, Raz running away to camp – all of that was set in motion because of her. she’s at the very center of the tragedy that PN2 revolves around.

and she does haunt the narrative, even if Nona is still alive. because the old Lucrecia – the real Lucrecia – we never get to meet her. she’s long gone.

the closest we come to actually interacting with Lucrecia, as she used to be, is in Cassie’s mind. while the rest of the Psychic 7 only have a few lines to share, paper Lucrecia has a full dialogue tree. this is probably one of my favourite moments in the whole game. there’s an awe in Raz’s face, getting to meet her, but also this palpable tension throughout the conversation.

(screenshots taken from here! if you don’t remember this conversation, or just want a refresher, i’d highly recommend going back to watch it.)

this dialogue tree is great. it’s funny, and subtle, and surprisingly moving. Raz is full of questions for Lucrecia, and Lucrecia isn’t giving much away, but we get glimpses of her story here that are so tantalising. it’s a fascinating window into the person she used to be: coy, and playful, and a little aloof.

but – this is also very clearly not Lucy. we hear Cassie’s own thoughts coming out of her mouth (“Cassie told us [hydraulic mining] was very bad for the environment, but nobody listened to her, as usual”), but her dialogue is also steeped in Cassie’s confusion, her struggle to understand what happened (“I don’t really know [why I murdered all those people]. I was the nicest person during my time at Green Needle Gulch”). this is the closest we ever get to seeing Lucrecia, face-to-face, but she’s still heavily filtered through someone else’s perception.

how much of this is the real Lucrecia, and how much of it is just how Cassie sees her? we’ll never know.

i think a crucial part of PN2’s themes is that perception – how you can be someone completely different to different people around you. everyone has their own version of the story to tell. the most obviously propagandistic is Gristol’s retelling, which comes as a shock twist at a climactic moment that throws the whole game on its head. here, we get to see the other side of the story, from someone who only ever knew Lucrecia as a protector, a general, a murderer – and thought she should stay that way.

(screenshots from here)

but as entrenched as he is in his narrative, Gristol doesn’t have all the answers, either. and Ford’s version of events, while probably more factually correct, is still steeped in his own biases. Ford was so dedicated to the memory of the woman he loved that he did terrible things for her; and when he tried to bury that memory, it was so deeply entrenched in his mind that it broke him.

(screenshot from here)

but note the wording, when he talks about using the Astralathe to “neutralise” the “problematic” parts of her mind. My Lucy.

something else that PN2 touches on is how experiences change you. after the battle against Maligula, the remaining members of the Psychic 7 become very different individuals. Cassie withdraws from the world, unable to return to normality after everything that happened; Compton becomes an anxious wreck without his support network. Bob is broken with grief after the loss of his husband, and Ford willingly shattered his mind because it was what he thought he had to do to keep Lucrecia safe. and throughout the game, Raz helps all of them – but he doesn’t fix them. he doesn’t undo everything they went through, because how could he? the things that happened will stay with each of them forever.

and it’s the same with Lucrecia. even after she lets go of the rage and grief and violence that Maligula carried with her, symbolically severing the threads that bind her to her past – she doesn’t just go back to her old self. because she’s someone different now, too. she’s a mother, and a grandmother, and she loves her family so truly and so deeply. she’s patched together a new life for herself. and that’s what she affirms to Raz, in the moments before the final fight.

and he loves her right back. even after everything he’s learned, she’s still his Nona.

i think sometimes a story is more satisfying for not giving you the easy answers. Psychonauts 2 leaves a lot of things unsaid. it gives you pieces of the puzzle, glimpses of Lucrecia’s story through other people’s eyes, and asks you to draw your own conclusions from that. and then it says: this is who she is now. this is what matters. and personally, i think it’s stronger for that.

[victoriadallonfan]

I was going to go to bed, but got a sudden DM on discord asking about if I was trans or not, since I give off the “vibes”.

I shared with them some screenshots of my thoughts on the matter, and felt it might help people here to know how I personally identify:

In short, you can refer to me as she, her, they, them, he, him, but in the end I am Ridtom aka VictoriaDallonFan.

Any and all are allowed.

I don’t feel any body dysmorphia related to my presentation, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like the opportunity to have the chance to alter my body to be whatever presentation I want with a press of a button (as mentioned above).

If I wanted be a woman for a decade I’d do it and feel comfortable in that body. If I wanted to be non-binary for a decade I’d do it and feel comfortable in that body. It’s just a body to me and my only limitation is the technology and money of the current day and age.

Frankly, I don’t know what term would apply to me and ultimately I’ll feel comfortable with anything so long as you aren’t taking it as an opportunity to dust off the slur dictionary you keep in the back pocket.

I am solidly Aromantic, so you can at least pin that down hahaha

Anyways, hope that helps matters. If you have any questions I’ll probably answer them tomorrow when I’m not sleepy.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sharing mr beast’s credit card info?

Okay so for context this happened like MONTHSSS ago and everything is all chill now, but I’m very curious what the tumblr masses here will think of this.

So I, 17NB, shared Mr beast’s credit card info (via a screenshot from a video) in a relatively small (was significantly smaller at the time of the incident) discord server I’m in. I shared it because I thought it was funny because haha rich man money for people to use.

I had this info because of a Ryan Trahan video I had watched that day where he flashed mr beast’s credit card on screen, on purpose, for a second for the viewers. This was done as a whole bit with Mr beast’s involvement with the bit itself.

So in the server people got really mad at me for sharing it because it had personal info like mr beast’s name and credit card number in it. Which normally I’d understand because that’s never okay to share. But you can google mr beast and his name will pop up and the credit card was also a part of a bit with mr beast (and also was likely not even functional, as another friend pointed out later)

I tried explaining why I shared it but I don’t think I did a good job of it and I just kinda let it go. Everything’s chill now though. As I said this was months and months ago.

But yeah. Was I the asshole for sharing mr beast’s credit card info?

[ppenguinpperson]

canine girl in all her doggy glory!! already posted her design and profile the other day, but i updated her profile and i want all her images in one post.. speaking of her profile, warning warning for talk of violence there more on canine (+ lyrics?!! Woah!!) under the cut:)

canine girl is inspired/an au of my oc alík, but i don't think it'd be wrong to say she's a different character alltogether? while the things she struggles with are things that alík does, too, she's more like.. idk ❤️only i can understand this ...

as you may have guessed by her warning, canine girl has violent intrusive thoughts, and feels extremely guilty for them, even if she never acts out on them. her profile doesnt get too into this .. since she feels that guilt and shame, i don't think she'd wanna share the details online .. or with anybody ever.. you know how it is 💥

her design is smth i struggled with greatly .. her mask is this

and as soon as i saw it on alíks pinterest board i was set on using it and im sooo happy i did!! i think it works greatly..!!! other notable things about her design, that im happy with, are mostly to do with her hoodie. her hoodie-ears are actual ears, shes just hiding them:) and its made to resemble a service dog vest!

you can't really see it in the 'fake screenshot' art, the first one, but she's got a kind of belt (harness ?) around her chest !! its around her shoulders too.. and her chain hanging from that could be interpreted as a leash ig ?? idk 💥💥you'll never understand sinister minds inner workings... another design-y thing is !! shes got her arms around herself in the fake screenshot, which is bc she's hiding her claws from you 💥her eyes are also made to resemblea wolfs:)

her pants are just like that bc its alíks fashion sense 💥and bc i think they fit! and i like them!! a little treat just for me:)

another thing that i wanna talk about is her profile!! its so !! chill !! the colours are warm and inviting, her info there is silly, she invites you to talk with her if you're struggling, shes got fun blinkies.. !! shes just having fun on a site hanging out and chilling .. its like that bc i wanted to show, even if in a little way, that intrusive thoughts arent indicative of a persons identity. canine's intrusive thoughts don't make her a bad person, they don't make her a rabid dog like she thinks, they just make her somebody with intrusive thoughts. shes more than her intrusive thoughts, you know ??

anyhow! the lyrics !! i wrote lyrics for a theoretical song that she would have, but Wont, because im not a songwriter. i might make a silly littly tune for her one day, like a minute long at most, most likey shorter, so these lyrics are what you get !! and also it was my second time writing actual lyrics (first time was 10 minutes before when i was writing lyrics for another tptm oc, unknown girl) so Dont be meanies... Ok... treat me niceys... her voice for this would be kohaku merry btw :3

warning, again, more specified this time: themes of violent intrusive thoughts, talk of violence, vague references to generational abuse

That I’m just like a dog, I know Got the leash and collar to show Tug it one way, then another I’ll obey you like no other

But obedience doesn’t cut it With teeth sharper than a razor blade The only way to be is afraid That’s what I say, anyway

Can’t say I’m sorry, not to you That’d scare me, letting you know  About your mangled body on the floor Still just a fantasy, nothing more

(Violent thoughts suppressed) Ineffective muzzle helps little (Violent needs repressed) ‘Cause my razors make it brittle It’s not on purpose, just my spittle Can’t help my second nature

(BEAT ME, FLAY ME, LEAVE ME DEAD PLEASE DO YOUR WORST, I BEG IT WON’T BE UNDESERVING TO BEAT A WILD DOG SENSELESS

GIVE IT YOUR ALL, YOUR EVERYTHING WE BOTH KNOW I’D DO WORSE WERE I NOT A DOG BUT SOMETHING LIKE I AM NOW, JUST SHAMELESS)

The carpet floor’s forever stained A family heirloom of violence and hate Trying so hard to reject that norm Can’t help but feel it’s all I’m destined for

Gotta stop myself with only a collar Can’t be like my father’s bully father So as long as you hold my leash I swear I’ll hide my deepest needs

Even if it’s not real, I fear You’ll reach into me and see All these sinful fantasies Of your bloody arteries I don’t mean them, believe me It’s just that this is all I know how to be A mutt that doesn’t know any better Only to claw and dismember

(Violent thoughts excessed) Maybe it’s just natural selection (Violent needs processed) Can no longer deny this connection That I’m just like a dog, I know Got all this shame to show

Your hands are only ever kind A stark contrast to my mind It’s not real, just thoughts, I know Adrenaline still fills me though

My collar thins, soon it will snap Go away, don’t want you here for that Your kindness is naivety My impending misery Your outstretched hand is prey Don’t say I didn’t warn you  Here comes the prophesised day Where the hand feeds no more

(WITH MY LEASH AND MUZZLE GONE YOU MISTAKE FOR A FAWN YOU THROW MY COLLAR TO THE FLOOR I BEG, PUT IT BACK ON NOT YOUR FAULT, BUT C’MON DON’T BE SO CRUEL AND SHOW ME I’M THE ONLY VICTIM TO MY FANTASY)

[solarsturniolo]

If you’re gonna call ME a liar and talk shit in MY inbox, do it with the anon feature off babe.

“Spreading false allegations 🥺🥺🥺” i quite literally have the screenshots of her lying to me, which was the ‘allegation’ i made against her. And she WAS manipulative in saying i couldn’t speak to certain people again or she’d never talk to me again because she didn’t like them and such.

and she DID write a rape fic but it looks like she wiped it from the internet so i’d have to do major digging to find anything, and i quite honestly don’t have the time or energy to spend doing that. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s telling her little minions that she didn’t and that i’m making shit up about her, as i have stated she is a manipulator!!!!!!

I’m not sitting here begging yall to believe me or screaming at yall to report her and block her. Every person that has private messaged about it can attest that I said something along the lines of ‘you can do what you want, but i want nothing to do with her.’

But if you’re gonna start a little bandwagon in my inbox, turn the anon feature off :) I can defend myself, I am not afraid of some 15 year old that thinks they’re defending someone good just because she makes you feel good about yourself.

And by the way, i dropped the topic of this issue literally two days after it happened lmfao. I quite literally do not care anymore. I’m doing just fine without her. I got a promotion at work, i’m making hella more money, i’m going on 3 different trips this fall and winter, i’m making friends at work and going out more, i’m talking to a guy, i have very supportive online friends, my car is fixed and they waived the fee so i don’t have to pay for it. My bills are paid, my room is clean, my laundry is folded, my cat is by my side, and she hasn’t been a thought in my head for about two weeks now.

Let’s move the fuck on, why don’t we! I shared my experience, and that was quite literally the only goal i had with posting that stuff. I have every fucking right in the god damn constitution to do that. Don’t like it? Block me!! The button is free of charge!!!!

[midnightsun-if]

I’ve gotten a couple more asks in my inbox since the previous one last night that caused everything— I hesitate to call any of this discourse because I don’t want to sound dramatic— but I’d like to make this all-in-one post, that’ll be going in the FAQ, to settle this. Hopefully, I won’t get too harsh, and I apologize in advance if I do, or if I sound angry/annoyed, I’m just trying to stand firm, as I’ve previously mentioned, when it comes to this topic.

I’ll put the entirety of this underneath the cut— as I don’t wish to subject people who don’t wish to read it to the long post.

(I’ve shared screenshots beneath the cut… So, warning to anyone who may not like to see those when regarding this topic.)

I’d like to begin this by stating that I’m only annoyed, or somewhat vexed rather, with the ones that actually sent me these asks— I’m well aware a good majority of them are trolls, at least I hope, but I still felt like this would be a good time to simply collect them, make a one-and-done post, and then (hopefully) move on from this subject. As I’m, and I’m sure all of you, are tired of this topic— especially since it seems like a fairly cut and dry one to understand in the grand scheme of things.

Now I’d also like to say if you’d like to send me questions about expanding on Scarlett and/or Koda’s sexuality— what it means to them, why I decided to go that route, etc— you absolutely can! I’m more than happy answering them (though I may not be able to answer everything given spoilers). I’m not barring anyone from sending me anything, not that I truly could as free will doesn’t work like that, but I do hope this makes at least a couple people get the answers they need before sending in something. (And even if you do and need something explained a bit more? That’s completely fine!)

Onto the more gritty stuff…

Scarlett, and I’m mainly going to be mentioning her as this has been directed solely at her, but it also applies to Koda as well, is not a character simply for you all to romance, to have sex with, to be arm candy, etc. I’m well aware that’s not how the majority of people view her, but I thought I’d specify that regardless. She’s a character because of her own impact within the world, because of her own nuances, because of who she is… She works just as well as an RO as she does anything else. Am I excited about exploring her romance route? Absolutely. But, I’m even more excited about exploring Scarlett herself— backstory, personality, motivations, etc.

At the end of the day?

She’s Scarlett first before she’s the MCs anything.

Below are a couple of asks that I’ve received on this topic (older):

I saved these when I first got them because I was truly baffled by them and wanted to show my friend to see if I should do anything about it (just decided to delete them)…

Again, I’m aware these are more than likely nothing more than trolls, but I’ve gotten at least a dozen of asks ranging around this topic, that I’ve deleted because I didn’t think it’d become this much of an issue that I’d have to address in this manner, and I’d like to say to anyone that may think you can do this: No, you can’t.

Scarlett is a lesbian. I get that may disappoint some people, but there are seven other characters to choose from when it comes to romance. As I’ve mentioned before— Scarlett wouldn’t be Scarlett anymore if I decided to just make her romanceable for everyone. At that point there would’ve been no point to change her from the original character I had designed to fill her “slot” in the RO Cast.

Again, this isn’t everyone and I bet this isn’t even the vast majority of the individuals that are actually disappointed by Scarlett not being for everyone.

As for making Koda for F!MCs instead? Why would I do that? Barring the fact that he’s gay? Why do your potential problems with not being able to romance Scarlett suddenly outweigh the problems that F!MCs would go through by suddenly having that option torn away? It’s gross to even suggest doing something like that.

Below is one of the most recent asks that I’ve screenshotted to showcase what I mean in general:

I’m aware that I’d probably get some more readers if Scarlett would be accessible to everyone, but I truly don’t get this notion that Scarlett is somehow the supreme RO above all the others. I adore her, adore her route and character, but the others offer things too! They have their own special nuances that Scarlett doesn’t (just like it’s the same for her too). Not even going to comment on the interesting RO comment, as I feel like that’s intentional baiting (more so than the rest of this message).

I also wouldn’t want to cheapen my own characters, as well as the experiences you all can get with them, for more attention— I’m happy with the readers that I have right now. If I get more? Great! If I don’t? That’s also completely fine too. Because, at the end of the day, I know that I’m making the story and characters that I know I’ll enjoy making and that you all would enjoy reading.

Why not just let them?

Probably because Scarlett’s sexuality actually means something? More than simply keeping her from all of you? Like a lot of individuals seem to assume (a lot referring to the ones that sent these types of asks in)… Again, Scarlett isn’t a character just for you to get your rocks off. If you can’t respect that, how the hell would you ever actually respect her? And if you can’t even garner that basic amount, why would I ever let you romance her? (Not that I’d ever change my mind. Scarlett is staying exactly as she’s meant to be.)

I apologize if I’ve turned off readers from Midnight Sun because of this post, but I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest as this all started building up. I truly do appreciate all of you— and I can sympathize with the people that get a bit disappointed at finding out Scarlett isn’t for them: I.E. me with Miranda Lawson— but that doesn’t mean I’m going to change an integral part of who Scarlett is, pretty much taking out a chunk of what makes her Scarlett to begin with…

I’m sorry if I come off as overly harsh in this, but I hope I’ve been able to make my points firm and clear. Scarlett, and Koda, are staying as they’re designed right now— nothing, and no one, is going to change that.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[nameuserlee]

Misty Invasion - My pulling session ✨💜

Let me start off by saying that I’m absolutely broke now. Diamonds? Gone!

But at least I can share this lucky Zayne pull right after getting my Sylus guaranteed card (please ignore the shameless screenshotting.) He’s always been my lucky charm so I’m not surprised it happened with him <3

I promise you I screamed when this happened, but my fingers were just tapping away like I was on autopilot, LMAO. Oh and Sylus came right after again, in like another ten pull. I think someone got jealous his spotlight was taken 🤭

Sylus and Zayne are both r1, Xavier and Raf r0. This is honestly better than what I thought I’d get, I’m so grateful for the rank ups. I can at least get the earrings from the Lunar Shop!

The pulls I get for the rest of the month I’ll throw at the banner to get Raf’s robe (he’s the only one I’m missing.) I’m probably less than a 10 pull away.

Now to save for *checks notes*….. Zayne’s birthday. Oh dear.

[bluebirbo]

I want to preface before I start this post that I’ve never seen Hazbin Hotel! Scrolled through the fandom and critical tag once in a while but purely stayed away after episode one turned out not to be my cup of tea. However, I got recommended the soundtrack by a friend and figured I’d give it a go, I’m no stranger to enjoying music from musicals I haven’t seen.

Tell me why, as someone who’s only seen episode one, Charlie and Alastor have much better chemistry in “Hell’s Greatest Dad” than Vaggie and Charlie had in the entirety of the first episode (and I assume the rest of the series based off posts I’ve seen).

I started with “Hell’s Greatest Dad” when trying the soundtrack and that was the ONLY thought going through my head. I mean if you took out the forced daddy-daughter implications than Alastor’s part holds better weight as a romantic partner singing to Charlie.

As interesting of a premise Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship is I can’t help but think that these two, even if you had to change some stuff, are just much more interesting as love interests. The dynamic of a cheerful, goal driven girl with fighting abilities and a guy who flaunts his powers with a secret dark backstory has been done before and for good reason!

While there’s definitely character traits keeping this pairing back from being perfect, Charlie’s overplayed nativity being one, I just can’t get it off my mind how well they worked together in this ONE song.

I’m not trying to erase the representation Charlie and Vaggie give us, nor am I trying to start any shipping debates. Like I said I’ve only ever seen episode one and fully intend to keep it that way. This was just a thought on my mind I figured I’d share because gah, just look at the screenshots people!

[angelmichelangelo]

going to ramble on about that new tv spot we got for tmnt mutant mayhem because i have worms in my brain. and this kinda links in to my post from the other day about turtles vs acceptance so yeah.

so this first screenshot is from the part where mikey asks april if she thinks they’ll be accepted into society (i tried but i couldn’t actually get a good shot where either mikey or donnie weren’t blinking lol)

so here we have mikey at the forefront. we know from other snippets of these scene before, they’re just standing in a line, so however this topic of conversation came to be, it’s mikey that has pushed his way to the front to ask her this, with big round, hopeful eyes like she’s just got to say yes.

and the reaction of the others is interesting too. we have donnie, who’s looking a little wide eyed that mikey would even ask this, like he’s shocked that he was brave enough to ask. i think i’ve mentioned it before but imo i think donnie + mike are the ones that crave that “normal human life” the most — and whilst i think mm is going to give each of them their own reason to want to be part of a normal society, i think don and mike being the youngest, they’re a little more naive to it all. they truly believe that they can just rock up, save the city from bad guys, be hailed hero’s and then sign up for high school the next day.

because look at leo and raph’s reactions. the seem a little more hesitant towards april’s response. raph looks like he knows her answer and is bracing himself for it. leo almost seems like he’s trying to warn her not to respond because he knows how much it’ll hurt his brothers.

and then we get this shot, after april tells them straight up: no.

mikey looks heartbroken. you see the way his body actually just. deflates. rejected. hurt. he physically recoils from this answer. he is definitely going to make me cry in this movie i just know it:(

donnie looks hurt by this too. like he was truly holding out onto some hope that they could be loved and accepted. he’s a little more reserved than mikey here but he’s just as affected by this. i love that he’s kind of almost hiding behind his staff? that’s a nice little touch. i imagine donnie is quite a shy little guy and this is a good example of this.

and then raph! again, if you watch the actual clip he takes one big breath as if to steel himself. perhaps he hadn’t realised what little hope he had built up in his head, but he feels it crashing down on him right here, and he’s mad about that. mad that he can’t have what he wants, and that his brothers can’t have what they want. this is a very Raph reaction but done very well.

and leo. oh leo. again, i think out of all them, leo might be the one that’s less inclined to want to be a part of the human world. he’s anxious and nervous enough about going to get pizza as it is but he looks hurt by this too. because like i said in my post about bayverse turtles wanting a human life with raph: if leo’s brothers wanted to live on the surface amongst everyone else, leo, even if he was content with his life in the sewer, would rather live up there with them, rather than underground without them. he looks away when april tells them that they wouldn’t be accepted. he carries so much of the world on his shoulders oh this boy. he’s gonna make me cry too yall.

anyway feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions on this scene! i’d love to hear ‘em :)

(also. mikey busting it down and the others hyping him up was really funny. they’re such Boys i can’t wait for this movie)

[artistic-shapeshifter]

I’ve been hard at work at the visual novel! Still got a lot to do but thought I’d share a tiny bit!

A few screenshots from what you can expect! There’s still more I plan to bring to this game, just gotta learn how to code it all in!

[monstersinthecosmos]

I know you probably don’t want to dwell on the show and the negative but I absolutely hate what has happened on here and how hateful people are in the VC fandom it’s just very demoralizing and makes me want to retreat from anything besides the books completely. The discourse was spicy before the show but everything is just even more divisive now and it has sucked the fun out of it. Not really an ask more of a vent sorry

Hi there!

You’re correct that I don’t particularly find it fun to dwell on the negative stuff – as you said yourself, SOMETIMES THE DISCOURSE SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT. But I do understand how you feel and I want to say a couple things and I hope this helps you find a groove.

First of all, I did my best not to acknowledge it too much because I didn’t want to validate the folks who were being cunts to me lol, but please know that this fandom (at least on Tumblr) has ALWAYS been kinda fucking violent towards me LOL. I started VC tumbling back in 2016 and it’s ALWAYS been a fucking trash fire. It is hard out there for Marius stans lmfao.

Like, when I was first posting on Tumblr and acclimating to the Tumblr culture it was so much of like, me feeling brave enough to share meta only for someone to be RB’ing me to tell me I’m wrong, or me talking about how much I liked something about Marius only for someone to vague me, or it was me hosting the huge fandom Discord back in 2017 only for people to then come on tumblr and complain about how the Discord was way too Marius Friendly as if like, a drama-free space where we can discuss the books makes it a harbor for predators.

Of course I also had the gaggle of fucking morons who were constantly stalking me, catfishing their way into my servers to try to take screenshots and write call outs and cancel me, who would not stop preaching about how “all these big blogs” are “actually such terrible people” because “look at the things they ship” even when I’d never been unkind to them, even occasionally donated to their GFMs. These are folks who think they’re morally in the right for protecting the virtue of Armand’s poor teenage asshole and executed this justice by stalking and harassing an ACTUAL PERSON LOL. Like, listen. I’m sorry to burst ur bubble, but Armand doesn’t exist. He’s letters on a paper. I’m actually a real person and you’re up my fucking ass because I don’t’ even fucking know why, you’re jealous of my fucking Tumblr engagement or something? Which one of us is actually the creep here lol?? Is this a race to the bottom to be the valedictorian of clown school on the website for homeschooled clowns?

I’ve also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of acephobic discourse, being told I don’t do enough to protect every individual in fandom from their own bullies as if it's my job to do that, being called ableist for how I wrote Daniel in my fics even though I was projecting and discussing my own personal experiences – I’ve also had a project collaborator have a tantrum and try to steal my work until I had to threaten with legal action, I’ve been put on block lists, I’ve had many people consume my fics in secret without actually leaving comments because I’m too toxic for them to communicate with in public.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

This was all before AMC showed up LMFAO. It was not easy for me! It’s still not always easy!

And so yeah like, by nature of the fandom EXPLODING we are going to see more drama. More people is more drama. The nature of the discourse often hedges into real life issues that people are very opinionated and passionate about and there are conflicting needs inside the same space about how to hold conversations. Even just the other day I RB’d a joke about Anne Rice and OP got upset with me because they didn’t want actual fans interacting with it. Whoops! I didn’t know! I just thought it was funny. ;.;  

Even in good faith and with the best of intentions we’re going to step on each other’s toes, and we’re gonna find people we don’t vibe with. And that’s normal and it’s fine.

What ISN’T normal is this inability to disengage that I think we see often in online space, and I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about all the reasons why I think that happens. But sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and take it on the chin.

Like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks the fun out of the room when you share a space with such bitter people who can’t be kind to each other. But like. THAT’S A THEM PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? And I think we gotta remember that sometimes people like that do it for the attention or the spike of dopamine when they can pick a fight and honestly like, you don’t need to waste YOUR OWN time on it, but you’re also doing that person a kindness if you don’t enable the bad behavior.

And it sucks that Tumblr’s mute tools are awful!!!!! It would make navigating so much easier to be able to curate the dash a little better and keep the bad actors out of your space. I sometimes just fuck off and don’t even come online for days if I know I’m not in a good headspace and won’t have the strength to just fucking ignore it, because sometimes drama catches my eye and I get nosy and go down the rabbit hole, too – having ADHD makes it really hard to avoid sometimes LOL – but like I try to be reasonable and love myself enough to avoid it when I can help it. I’m not willing to make my own problems everyone else’s problem, and I hope that some of these shit starters in fandom will get there, themselves.

So yeah it blows when the vibes are fucking atrocious, and it REALLY blows when it’s a fandom this small where you can’t avoid it. Even when it’s a vocal minority it really just kills the fucking mood.

BUT WHAT I WILL SAY.

Whenever I say shit like “write what you want to read” and we’re talking about fanfic, or even meta or even silly headcanon posts or jokes, that also means draw what you want to see, it also means make what you want to hold, apply it to any creation you can think of. Put the thing you want to see into the world. And it counts for fandom, too.

I don’t want to be part of a fandom that’s constantly infighting and attacking people, so I don’t fight and attack people. I don’t want to be called a predator for being a Marius fan and so I don’t engage in posts that say as much, not even to argue, because I don’t want my followers (who might also be Marius fans!) to have to see that on their dash. I want us to protect our peace and create a space we want to be in.

Like I have a policy that any time someone says I’m a freak or any time I see truly godawful word salad discourse, I go out of my way to post something kinky and offputting about Marius LMFAOOOO  because I want to be surrounded by reasonable fun people who share my sensibility for fiction. AND SOMETIMES IT’S CRICKETS, AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. But at the end of the day I know I’m being my most sincere self and I’m trying to have a good time and just post fun things that I enjoy. And like, the book fandom is small as fuck and we’re all famished, but I think if more of us did that, we’d build a much more productive and tolerant space.

And for all the shit I’ve mentioned, all the drama and attacks and all the times people have harassed me or tried to make me feel small, you know what? I just got back from @apoptoses & @cup-of-lixx 's wedding and they met in VCblr! We spent all week with our VCblr friends! We all went to New Orleans together last Halloween !

When I used to work on ships it was like a fandom friend world tour! I had so many coffees in port with my vampire friends!

I’ve learned so much about writing from all the time I’ve spent here and the community of writer friends who supported me! There’s folks I met on VCblr that I talk to LITERALLY every day! They are such huge parts of my life and genuine life-long friends!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems like the ROI is garbage but like, so much of finding the joy is also learning to protect yourself from the negativity.

It IS out there. It DOES suck. And it’s lonely when you haven’t found your people yet. But fandom doesn’t have to be the 500 angry assholes arguing with each other about a fucking TV show, it can be your 3 besties in a private group chat having a great time.

Like I just drove @hekateinhell to the airport (met THROUGH TUMBLR!) and on the way back I was listening to an episode of Last Day and they were discussing the concept that “community is a life raft” and it hit me so hard man!!!!!!!!!!!

Find your people! Block the shit starters! Mute discourse buzzwords that you know are going to upset you!

Keep! Posting! What! You! Want! To! See!!

Fandom is self-generating, we can do this!

My inbox is always open and BELIEVE ME I have been motherfucking persona non grata in this place before and I know how rancid the vibe can be so please come talk any time it's grinding you down, I got you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ashisurana]

As much as I don’t blame people who choose Astarion to finish ritual, I don’t understand why people choose it because “it’s what he wants”.

I mean… a whole story of Astarion is him being abused in every aspect of his life. When you’re asked about what he wants and what he is afraid of the correct answers are “Freedom” and “forever feeling like a slave to someone else” (both answers made him a little annoyed but they’re correct, he admits that).

And then you have ritual. You clearly can see that Astarion is losing himself. Your character can look into his eyes and actually see that he isn’t himself and only thinking about power he might to calm. Why he’s thinking that being powerful is the only way to being free is topic for different analysis but you already, before you let him finish ritual can see that something is changing.

If you let him ascend you can say bye to Astarion you know, he will not treating your character equally, he will always think about himself as a better. He humility you, treating like a “pretty thing in his collection”. He doesn’t love your character (if you romance him), there’s no love in this relationship anymore. He can even say “(…) I love you, because it is what you want to hear, yes?”(or something like that because I didn’t make a screenshot of this scene).

If you don’t let him ascend he will actually thank you for that later. You can say he didn’t change but I’d say that if you don’t let him finish ritual he actually changed too. He is not scared of the future (or at least not scared of shadows of his past). If you romance him, he’s still love you… to add more reasons why ascended Astarion don’t treat you equally, he can say (if you he didn’t finish ritual) “we are… equal”.

But why I don’t think he actually want to finish ritual? Well… staring with what Astarion wants from the very beginning. Freedom. He isn’t free after ascension. He’s metaphorically slave of power and shadow of Cazador. He basically became Cazador 2.0, he acts like his old master and treats your character in the very similar way Cazador does to him. There’s no freedom from his past. He is acting like the only thing he knows, Cazador. When we let him to finish ritual we just let circle of abuse to star again. I saw people saying that “duh, it’s still better than letting go so many vampires spawns into the world”. Well first, you don’t need to free them and second… ascended Astarion is a threat not only for Baldur’s Gate. He is saying often that his intention aren’t peaceful, he wants more and more… in manner of good choices it’s absolutely horrible in consequences.

Another reason is more for people who romance him but there’s plenty of moments in game when your character is in danger and Astarion is actually very worried about you. Saying something what Astarion would absolutely say “I almost got worried about you” which just means he was very worried. He is trying to protect your character in many aspects. Like for example in Act III when you meet this obsessed with blood drow she’s starting to convince your character to drink a strange potion. When you decline her request she will still trying to change your mind which made Astarion angry “you don’t understand that she/he said ‘no’?”. Not only he’s worried about your character but also he understands that someone doesn’t want to do something.

And what it has to ascended Astarion? Well… in scene when he’s changing your character into vampire you actually can say “no”. Astarion will not like that, he don’t respect your boundaries anymore. Yes, if you repeat that he won’t change you but it will also made him to broke up with you.

Well… anyway. It’s already way too long. I just wanted to say again that I don’t blame anyone who chose to finish ritual (after all who I’m to even blame anyone for that lol in one of my playthroughs I did it too so). I just wanted to share some thoughts and y’know

[lenores-2nd-wife]

DRAMA POST!!

Only read if you want to see my side of my grooming allegations (that are false), take care of yourself.

TW: Sexual Language & Mentions of Grooming, and Death & Dox Threats (Long Post Warning)

“Hello everyone.”

Sorry I’ll be serious. 

This is a response addressing a post calling me out that I have reposted on my blog. Please check theirs out for reference if you want a peek at all the lies they’re spreading about me/want the context of what I’m talking about. I want to make sure you see their (Albeit misinformed) side before you see mine to be as transparent as possible.

I honestly never thought I’d have to make one of these things but let’s get this over with. 

To start off, I would like to say that this is NOT an apology as I have no one to apologize to and nothing to apologize for. This is me debunking every single lie that person put in their post. With screenshots of course.

With that being said, I’m very sorry to ABBY AND ABBY ALONE for being dragged into this and whoever made that callout is horrible for what they’ve done. (And to rnf & their mods as they seem to be the main target of that callout even though I’m the one being labeled as a groomer.)

[I will be giving the poster the benefit of the doubt as it seems they got all of their information from a separate party. I truly want to believe they just want to do the right thing and the person giving them the information is the malicious one. I understand trying to protect minors as you seem to be one as well (I was checking in on their account and their bio said 14 at one point? I don’t think it’s still there), but I promise it wouldn’t kill you to send me a DM to see if your information was correct.]

As for a warning of sorts, I will say that the messages between me and Abby were very sexual and I’m not exactly censoring myself going forward. So TW for sexual language/and mentions of grooming again. The only reason I’m not marking this post as explicit is because I want to make sure some people see it as I have literal grooming allegations against me, if it was anything less serious I would have.

Now let’s start with the elephant in the room. 

ME AND ABBY ARE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS.

She is 19-years-old, born in 2005. Refer to the screenshots above. She even sent me her ID to get into the NSFW part of my server.  Meaning she is not only an adult, but came to me with full interest in talking about sexual topics. (As she is very much so allowed to do as an adult, I just want to get that out of the way before the poster possibly pulls out a “well you were probably making her uncomfortable” accusation out of their ass. If Abby was ever uncomfortable she would have told me and I would have listened. Boundaries are something I take very seriously.)

Speaking of the NSFW side of my server, the poster claims that I was saying sexual things in front of the other minors in the server when everything, and I mean everything, was in the adult section of my server that requires ID verification to get into. I’m in fact very strict with sexual content on my server and IN THE CALLOUT POST they literally show me handling a member who posted a screenshot that contained a friend of theirs saying “I want ___ to eat my ass”. 

(This was an easy mistake mind you and they didn’t have sexual intentions, they were just trying to be funny and share something crazy that their friend said. This is in no way trying to call that minor in my server out, don’t try to find them and leave my server members out of this. I just want to provide context as the member had their message deleted.)

As for their claims of me being racist. I am not. Simply put, I am not, they have provided no screenshots of me saying anything racist and I will not even entertain this statement any longer as it is baseless and downright ridiculous. Don’t include claims if you don’t have evidence to back them up PLEASEE.

Also, the document at the end with all of my shittily made drabbles is VERY misleading. “Dub-Con” WHAT? I promise you that just because Annabel is tied up does not mean she is not consenting. I can maybe see how it can be taken that way but my horny brain at the time wasn’t thinking “Oh and then I’ll make it dub-con!” DO NOT PUT THAT SHIT ON ME. 😭🙏

I am genuinely between being really angry about you posting my embarrassing as hell drabbles and fucking laughing. The “TW Cheating” TAG YOU ADDED IS SENDING ME. ITS OC X CANON I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECTED, IM SORRY? I wasn’t aware that was a cancelable offense since Monty was mentioned one time I’m losing it.

Now that I have addressed all the claims they have stated. It is now time for me to prove that every single one of their screenshots involving sex and things of that nature are in fact Abby. Warning once again that these screenshots get sexual as both of us were in what we assumed was a safe space to share down bad thoughts and fantasies involving the Nevermore characters and Abby’s OCs.

I will be posting each one of their screenshots in order (I'll try as much as I can running on 2 hours of sleep anyway), and I will explain the context for them of to be as transparent as possible:

Just sexual OC x Canon shipping. You will be seeing a lot of that as we were having fun with Abby's super cool OCs and we talked about them very often.

Joking around about one of the roleplays we were doing & more context for me sharing my splatoon fic with her..

OC x Canon shipping.

Embarrassing, but talking about kinks...

OC x Canon shipping.

Jokes about how calm Ada's relationship was (With an OC!) vs Lenore x Annabel's. (Previously mentioned that Lenore was being dragged into the closet by the ankles) & More OC x Canon.

More jokes about how much we want to smash Lenore & Annabel (Sue me), and me asking sexual questions about her OC.

I’m a person that wants to enjoy Nevermore media in peace with other adults with similar interests in role playing, not a stain on the human race, the only truthful thing you said in your post about me is that I'm a bit of a freak.

I will admit, in a lot of those screenshots I was very out there and really oversexulizing the characters and I can totally see why someone could be made uncomfortable if they saw it. In fact the poster included some of the tamer messages between me and Abby. However I was doing it in a safe manner, in a place people gain access to with the intention of being sexual. So I wasn’t just shouting out every little idea I had to everyone in my server, no one was being forced to look at what I was talking about.

Unlike Crimson, who you are clearly trying to group me with, I’m a normal fucking person who happens to lust after the characters. I’ve posted smut on my Ao3 often and even advertised some of it (With the proper explicit tags) on my blog. It is no secret that I am attracted to the characters, and I honestly don’t feel like I have to repent for that. 

My only bad intentions were my sexual ones with the characters who are proven to be 18+, whether you agree with the kinks shown in the screenshots or what I’m into in general does not matter (Not that any of my kinks are problematic as far as I’m aware? But I am very willing to learn if they are).

I did not deserve to be labeled a groomer. 

Abby did not deserve to have her business outed to the public eye.

I hope, REALLY HOPE, that this was posted with good intentions, but seeing how it was handled and what your page is dedicated to my interests on the side seem to just be a  pawn of yours to get at rnf & the mods to incriminate them for not “handling me” when there is nothing to be handled. Speaking of the mods, now I’ll most likely have to explain and let them know I'm not a pedophile. Thank you SOOO much for that btw.

Leave me, and other bystanders in the fandom minding their own business out of this. 

One more thing, though more so directed to the fandom, you guys can leave my inbox now? At this point I know it's not the same person and I need you guys to calm down. I genuinely had a few people ask me if I was lying about the death threats and I cannot make this shit up.

Your desperation for more drama and what you’re willing to do to make an already bad situation worse disgusts me beyond words and I’m actually really worried about drama pages now because this is not the first time blatant and dangerous misinformation has been spread in this fandom. Of course, that’s just me being emotional and making a whole lot of assumptions about your morals, so don’t quote me on that. Besides, the post didn’t get a whole lot of attention so I’m probably REALLY overreacting.

In conclusion-

(Also as horrible as this is I find it funny that in all the screenshots I have that same Annabel Lee pfp on with the tiny bow. 😭😭)

[phoenixtakaramono]

…So I see there is a sudden drought of butchlander fics right now. *cracks knuckles* While I’m still working on ‘Truce’ ch3, which long 🔞 butchlander threadfic of mine would you want this writer to resume first in this intermittent time? (Schedule: weekly/ biweekly updates; about ~25 to ~50 tweets or more per update)

The poll’s up on twitter. Crossposting it here for my readers who don’t use twitter. After one week, I’ll just add the results from the tumblr and twitter polls, and see which threadfic reigns supreme with y’all. And we’ll resume in the week after.

⬇️Summaries below & where we’d last left off for each⬇️

Current Butchlander Threadfics

Option 1: M3GAN-inspired AU

Where we last left off:

It’s possible he can cover this incident up, but it’s improbable that it’ll escape Morgan’s (A/N: Joe Kessler) notice. But Billy thinks he can contain the information spread—stopping at his case officer. And no more. He will just have to owe him a favor—an IOU which can be cashed in at any time. Everything that comes after depends on everyone’s acting abilities. He can already detect what’s in their future, a pattern of having to cover for H0M3L4ND3R. Billy’s voice remains soft. “In the one week we’ve known each other, you’ve given me a lot of trouble. Daddy’s not happy.” (TBC)

Option 2: Fix-It AU

Where we last left off:

Even now, the thought of the Operations Officer…. It renews his interest. Homelander’s shoulders tremble again, this time from repressed mirth, peeking at his c◼️ck. “Oh, William,” he cackles. Homelander’s not one to deny himself of what he wants. Not when the world’s his oyster. Madelyn won’t be happy hearing her star talent’s developed a taste for the CIA agent tailing him. So he’ll—𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘭𝘭 have to keep it a secret. It’s just another secret they’ll have. (TBC)

Option 3: Sugar Baby AU

Where we last left off:

Before he can even take a step, Homelander seizes William by the wrist. "Did I give you permission to leave...?" His voice had been gentle but there was an incipient dagger hidden within. Seeing the sharp frown, Homelander eases his grip. Lifts William's hand to press an apologetic kiss to the pulse fluttering in his wrist. Warm puffs of air gust over the reddened grooves. "Live a little." Lifts his bowed head. Forms an easy smile. The crow's feet deepen as Homelander encircles an arm around William's shoulders. "Indulge me. It's big enough for two, I promise." (TBC)

Option 4: Timetravel Hallmark themed AU

Where we last left off:

Staring down at the tufts of blond hair, Billy thinks that Homelander had some incomparable big guts. Observing him, only after confirming he’s not faking it, Billy settles back down and gathers him closer in a much more comfortable embrace. Loosely wrapping his arms around him. Sweetly snuggled up against him, Homelander slept so soundly, absolutely nothing could’ve disturbed him from getting his beauty sleep. Even when morning came and it was time for them to get out of bed, Billy couldn’t even fake a frown when Homelander lingered, reluctant to part. (TBC)

Note: For my tumblr only readers, I’d just started getting into the habit of screenshotting them from my twitter and posting the updates here on tumblr starting with, like, the middle of the Sugar Baby one (when your girl got Twitter sh@dowb@nned because it was too spicy 😂) and beginning with the Hallmark AU threadfic. All other ones haven’t been shared here yet. These threadfics are first prototypes and will eventually be fully edited with extra content and cross-posted to AO3 once all 4 chapters of Truce are finished in the future. So for now, I’ll likely just screenshot them starting from wherever we’d last left off for those other ones.