#I just got it recently because I usually enjoy movies from this director and was curious to see reviews

[diari0deglierrori]

Ok guess I’ll watch it

So true (in a good way)

Poetic cinema

SO TRUE

[lollytea]

((Part One of my Showbiz AU exposition posts!! Sorry my demons took over. I have more to say but this was already getting too long so I have to chop it up. The actual meat of the AU coming tomorrow.))

Willow Park was discovered in a supermarket when she was two years old while happily swinging her chubby legs back and forth in a shopping cart baby seat, teething on a rainbow coloured set of plastic keys. Her parents were offered the opportunity to get her into commercial modeling for a fat check.

Maybe if the circumstances had been different, Gilbert and Harvey would have rejected the offer on the spot. However, things were not going financially well in the Park household. Harvey had recently been let go from his job and Gilbert was already disowned by his parents, so they didn't have their support to fall back on. And they were scared. They were scared of what would become of Willow if they couldn't afford to take care of her.

The rules they applied to this whole venture were simple. The second it appeared that this lifestyle was taking a negative effect on Willow, they pull her out of it immediately and try something else.

So Willow became a baby model. And the overlap between model and actor was thin enough that she quickly stumbled into the latter. Mainly commercials and movie/TV roles with anywhere from one to a handful of lines. But it paid well and even though she was little, she seemed to enjoy it. She had a captivating stage presence. She was silly and clumsy but directors and audiences found that charming.

When Willow was four, she began repeatedly bumping into another little girl at auditions and they drew little crayon doodles together on the edges of their scripts while they waited their turn. Soon enough, Willow Park and Amity Blight were best friends and lit up every time they saw each other in those high ceiling audition rooms with the weird squeaky floors.

But when Willow was six, going on seven, she did an awful lot of growing. And that changed everything.

Amity had always booked more roles than Willow, but that had never bothered her because she had never known any different. And besides, Willow had always gotten SOMETHING at least.

Willow enjoyed acting and her Dads made sure to never make her aware that they relied on her income for fear of putting that huge responsibility on her shoulders. To her, it wasn't a job, just a fun thing she did.

But once she reached a certain age, it became difficult to book any roles at all. Nothing. Nobody wanted her.

Amity, by comparison, seemed to be getting every role personally handed to her. And this was the point where she abruptly severed ties with her best friend, utterly shattering Willow into a million pieces.

Nobody wanted her. Not even her best friend wanted her. Willow didn't know what had changed so suddenly but it burned under her skin. There was something inherently wrong with her. Nobody wanted her.

Harvey and Gilbert quickly noticed the damage that acting had done to their daughter's self esteem so they quickly drew further away from the spotlight before things got any worse.

Willow did not retire from acting completely. There was still maybe one or two background roles a year. Usually no lines. Just to keep them financially afloat. By this point, both Harvey and Gilbert had found ways to bring home money. It wasn't a lot and they were still scraping by but ultimately, Willow's childhood, education and future were to be prioritized so sacrifices had to be made.

They hoped to retain some sense of normalcy to Willow's life. So, after a year and a half of Harvey's home schooling, Willow was enrolled in public school, where she remained from the ages of 7 to 13.

This was supposed to make things better. And in a way, it did. Or at least it gave Willow the necessary experience to navigate the real world and help her develop into a relatively gentle, wise and down to earth soul. But it was also absolute Hell.

Harvey had always presumed that his daughter was a late bloomer and never thought much of it when she was still reading at a kindergarten level at age 7, but it presented itself as a complete abomination of a problem once she was thrown into the public school system.

Willow was dyslexic. This severely hindered her academic performance, as well as severely hindering her classmates' ability to leave her the fuck alone.

Willow doesn't like to talk about the period of her life where she attended public school. Except maybe in therapy. Or to Hunter at 3:34AM after he's told her something debatably more fucked up about his own childhood. But this was the only point in her life where she felt completely and utterly alone in this world.

She had her Dads, she'd always have her Dads. But she kept the brunt of her misery to herself because she knew that they would make her problems their problems and they were struggling enough as it was.

It was for her. Everything they did was for her. She eavesdropped on the heated debates they had late at night (They should've been asleep too. They had work in the morning) over what the next move was.

They were both painfully aware that Willow's full time acting career brought in the most money but if she didn't want to be in show business anymore, they needed to do whatever it took to make sure she could stay in school and her future was bright. College, university, whatever she wanted. (Harvey had tirelessly studied the best career opportunities and not-so-sutbly attempted to get her on board.)

Truth be told, Willow didn't know what she wanted. All she knew for sure was that she couldn't stay in public school a moment longer. She didn't know how to feel about acting these days. It was a mixed bag. But it was definitely preferable to the torture chamber of a middle school girls bathroom.

When Willow was thirteen, she reactivated her acting career, and she did it with a smile on her face. She hoped that her parents could maybe sleep soundly for the first time in six years.

She got lucky. Miraculously lucky. She wasn't sure if she believed in God after the last six years but SOMEBODY out there was looking out for her. Because near immediately, they found a casting call that read: "Age 12-14. Female. Plus size. Non-White." A casting call that Willow had never seen in all her years in show business, (at least not the ones her Dads approved of) let alone for a gig in one of the most popular tweenage networks on television. And this was no background position either, but a lead role.

If Willow could book this, her family would be set.

So, she read for the role. Well, she memorized the script after staying up till 2am with Gilbert. And she put her acting experience to use by pretending to read a script.

And that was how Willow booked the role of Paulina on television's upcoming tween phenomenon 'Hexside', a series about wacky shenanigans in a witches high school.

She was quick to learn that while she would have a significant presence on the show, she was not the leading lady, but rather, the ditzy quirky best friend.

The actual protagonist and Willow's co-star who she'll be spending the next several months with? (and possibly years if season 1 is a success)

Amity Blight.

[meetmyothersouls]

Roll on this weekend for your many beautiful Jonah fics!

I hope you enjoy the start of my new series! Here’s my first Halloween special of the season!

The Through Hike

Jonah Hauer-King x first person reader

Warnings: Appalachian mountains, creature, blood, suspense

Chapter 1

In this current moment, I’m not sure what is bothering me more. The fact that this is not going to be an indie film like I was being led to believe or that the casting director handed out the male lead role. I’ve trained my entire life for a role like this. I earned this role in more ways than just my acting ability. I grew up in the Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina. I hiked the trails as an infant strapped to my moms back. I led my Girl Scout troop leader out of the Forrest with just a compass and the moon as my guide. I was born for this role.

Jonah Hauer-King was not. Clearly they handed him the role after his newly recent success from the live action Little Mermaid movie. I did my research immediately upon finding out he was to be acting along side of me. He grew up rich, probably never hiked a mountain in his life, let alone camped in the wilderness.

I roll my eyes as I enter the forest clearing for our first day of shooting. I see Jonah, it’s hard not too, he is incredibly tall. Even from far away I can tell he’ll tower over me which will make our kissing scenes even more awkward than I originally thought.

He looks over at me and I look away but not before I catch his eager wave and smile. He begins to walk toward me and I prepare myself. My thought is to pretend like I’ve never heard of him. Put him in his place a little bit. I won’t be pushed over but some A-list actor who things he’s doing is all a favor because he’s acting in an indie film.

“Y/n!” Jonah calls, kicking up leaves with each footstep towards me. I hate that he knows my name without me having to tell him. “Hi!”

I’ve got to look up to make eye contact with him. Jesus he’s massive. A little leaner than he was in The Little Mermaid, but massive nonetheless. “Hi,” I say back.

Jonah smiles again, a prominent dimple changing his face from attractive to downright adorable, but I’ll never make it known. He holds out his hand for a handshake. “I’m a huge fan of your work, I’m looking forward to working with you.”

“Oh are you?” I ask, I take his hand and give him a limp handshake. Suck up.

“Definitely, Eye for an Eye was incredible!”

This throws me off guard. I find it hard to believe any one knows about my films, let alone an actor of his status. Indie films usually appeal to a specific audience, one that I didn’t think he’d be a part of. “Well, thanks,” I say, unable to keep the facade of my hard exterior. “I’ve seen a few of yours as well.”

“Alright everyone! Let’s get to work,” Shaun, the director says. He’s got a few other behind the scenes people next to him. They begin marking areas with flags, so they don’t get lost on their way back out of the woods. Amateurs. “We’ve got a few scene on the docket for today, but nothing that’ll be too involved. Jonah, Y/n, we’ll be doing mostly nature shots for today, if you want to head back to the hotel for the day feel free to.”

Jonah looks over at me but says, “I’m good, I’d like to explore the terrain a bit.”

Shaun looks over at me and I wave him off. He knows where I’d rather be. I start walking, the feel of the ground beneath my new hiking shoes fills me with joy until I hear Jonah’s footsteps behind me. “So you enjoy the outdoors too?”

“Yeah,” I say, “I grew up here.”

“Oh yeah? Tell me about it.”

I eye him, arching an eyebrow. “Well, my parents are from Asheville, but moved out deeper into the mountain before I was born. My mom had me in the cabin her and my dad built and raised me on the mountain. You know how they say ‘the mountains are calling’?” I look over at Jonah, he’s smiling at me, listening intently. “Well, they literally know my name-the mountains I mean-they’re a part of me.” We’re silent for a moment, the only thing to be heard is the crunching of our footsteps on the ground. “What about you?”

Jonah huffs out a laugh, “ah well, I wouldn’t say I’ve got nature in my blood but-”

He stops talking once I hold my hand up to his face. “Did you hear that?”

Jonah looks around furrowing his brow as if the action would help him hear better. “What?” He whispers.

“I heard a scream.”

“Maybe an animal?” Jonah offers.

“Not an animal. I know every animal sound there is out here, that was human.”

Just as the words leave my mouth the scream sound again, only louder, more distraught and blood curdling.

“Okay I hear it now.”

Several more pierce the air and I turn back.

“I’m not sure how to get back!” Jonah calls out running after me.

“Just follow me and be quiet. No more yelling.”

Apparently we walked a lot farther than we thought, I haven’t seen one orange flag yet. We weave through trees and I make mental notes of everything that I can use as a natural marker. If I pass it again I know where going in circles. I whip past branches and duck skillfully under low hanging limbs. Jonah’s a few steps behind it he’s keeping up. Finally, I see an orange flag in the distance. I slow significantly, and hold my hand back so Jonah doesn’t bump into me. It’s eerily quiet. No birds chirping or squirrels dating from tree to tree. We walk gingerly across piled leaves. Jonah is next to me and I hold my fingers to my lips. We make our way to a massive tree, big enough to conceal both of our bodies. I press against it and peek around the bark.

“What do you see?” Jonah whispers.

I slow my breathing in an attempt to be as quiet as possible. There’s camera equipment scattered across the forest floor. There’s a shoe here and a phone lying in the mud right next to my shoe. Then I see a body. My hand goes to my mouth so my gasp isn’t audible. I’m quite sure that’s Keenan the boom operator. His chest is ripped open and organs are spilling out of his open abdomen. Something pulls his body out of view. There’s a wet crunching sound further to my left. I lean over a bit further but wish I hadn’t. Crouched down about fifteen feet away is what I can only describe as a monster. It’s skin is rotted and gray in some places. It’s wearing clothing but it’s extremely weathered and torn. It snarls as it digs into Shaun’s body. Blood squirts against the dirt, creating a bloody mud mixture.

“What?” Jonah barely whispers.

I turn to face him. “We have to go,” I mouth.

“Why? What did you see?”

“Shhh!”

“What is it?” He mouths back.

“It’s-”

As soon as I hear the iPhone ringing in the mud next to me my heart drops. I hear the creature drop Shaun’s entrails. Then I hear it’s footsteps. I peek back around the tree and we lock eyes. I gasp and dart back behind the tree. I’m not able to speak, I grab Jonah’s shirt collar and I’m only able to get one word out before taking off.

“Run.”

Tags: @danielabetancourth @luna2034 @wandamaximoffbae @twinkledinkleg-blog @justagirlwholovedtoread @nonsensical-nonsence @paramorelvrr @thedonswife13 @miniemonie2001 1 @jonahhauer-kingg @crazyyynyyyy @notagreekgal28

[merrikiwi]

What we got up to in July 2024

Writing this blog post is an idea I came up with because it is fun but also because it forces us to reflect on the month and what we did. We've been trying (badly) to keep track of all the things we watched in the year so we can do an end-of-the-year retrospective of all the media we enjoyed so heeeeeeere we go.

July, July, July, what a busy month we've had. From L getting a new job to us running our first convention stall selling our art. We have truly been busy, but that has not stopped us from having fun with all kinds of media. Whether to relax or to research we watched a lot last month so lets talk about it.

Movies Movies are a good place to start. I've been trying to keep track of the movies we watched on Letterbox like I do with anime on MAL. I just like having a big list of all the things I've seen I can't help it XD. 

For my birthday we did a Gentleman-themed movie night. First, we watched The Gentleman a film I've been trying to get L to watch for ages and my birthday seemed like a great opportunity. And guess what she loved it. It's Guy Richie so you know the cinematography and editing are going to be fun a least. I didn't remember how homoerotic it was but I'm all for it. I think the gangsters should kiss. 

We also watched The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare... Also Guy Richie. It even had Henry Cavill but they couldn't save this story from being kinda meh. It sucks because I was looking forward to it but It just felt a little all over the place. You never really get to know any of the characters and the action felt excessive considering the real-life versions of these people managed to do this operation with only one injury. 

The last movie I can remember watching was Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets. Our hopes going in were so low but it was actually really awesome. The world and story are just so interesting and well-made. It feels like a passion project from the director. It's just plain fun times. 

TV

For the small screen, we watched The 8 show, A tv adaptation of two Manhwa Pie game and Money game. The show chose elements from both  to create a kind of mish mash of the ideas from both. I hadn't read them but L had so I got to turn and go "Omg did that happen in the Manhwa". I wouldn't want to spoil anything but if you're a fan of death games its very compelling. 

My main criticism of the show as a whole was that the violence in the latter half was actually really hard to watch. It felt excessive and unrealistic. You will watch a character get their head bashed in with a baseball bat multiple times and will be fine the next day. It gives it this kind of unrealistic uneasiness where you're real-world perception of how much damage the human body can take is confused for the sake of plot convenience and shock. 

L: It made some interesting adaptations and outright changes that were mostly good but it is very different to both manhwa. Which is a good thing. I've read it already so show me something cool you can do with the idea!

Anime

Anime was a large part of what we watched as usual. We have completely stepped off the seasonal train and as a result have been enjoying anime from all over... anyway we watched Dungeon Meshi. If you have seen our most recent video you know we love this show. It's genuinely a 10/10 and I can't wait for the next season. I don't want to be basic and make more videos on it but I kinda do. 

Shangri-La Frontier was another anime we brought up in the last video as it was just overflowing with passion and skill. We still haven't finished it with 2 episodes to go.

I Was Reincarnated as the 7th Prince so I Can Take My Time Perfecting My Magical Ability; was also fun but for very silly reasons. I can't sit here and claim it's inherently good but it was fun and easy to watch. Sometimes that's ok.

Lastly, for anime, we have Black Butler. omg, it's so fun. we're only 10 episodes into our rewatch at the moment but it's been about 10 years since I last watched it. The English accents in the dub are particularly awful I love it. 

Its interesting to look back on the anime we watched and see exactly how we went from watching these to writing the Passion and Skill video. I can see what elements of each show inspired what elements of the video. This is cool and fun and nice. 

Games

Don't worry we are nerds of the highest order so we played some games too. I've been playing a few in the last week or so. Star Ocean Divine Force, Orks Must Die 3 and Circus Electrique just to name a few. I've been ping-ponging back and forth between all of them. 

The big game of this month however has to be Spellforce 2. I played 3 and really enjoyed it but the jump back to 2006 graphics was a hurdle I had to vault and I'm glad I did. The game has a lot of interesting elements that they stripped out for the sequel. Unsurprising considering the game changed hands multiple times between the 2 games. It really feels like a classic CRPG with strategy elements instead of a bunch of strategy maps with some RPG-style quests for good measure. It was fun and just as I thought I was finishing it the game kept going. I have no idea where it's going to go next.

L has been playing the Demo for Blue Prince pretty religiously. I don't think ill see her again once the full game comes out but I won't say too much because I think there's a little video/strategy guide on the horizon. You should see the spreadsheet. 

L: Spreadsheet :3c 

Conc

If I could conclude this rambling blog post for July in one word I would say Expanding. Because our tastes are changing and expanding. I'm excited to see what I get to enjoy next month. 

Anyway, this blog post is more for us to store thoughts than anything substantial at the moment but if you enjoyed reading it let us know. If you want better-worded thoughts check out our YouTube videos and if I actually stick to this new idea see you next month.

[vmures]

rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with

I was tagged by the ever lovely @oldefashioned

Favorite color?

Purple! I adore all shades of it. I'm also fond of various greens and pretty much all jewel tones, but purple is still my fave.

Last song? 🎧

Currently reading? 📔

Currently working my way through @libraryofgage's Stranger Things fics over on ao3. Really loving them so far. The Munson's as Addams relations is a very fun idea.

After this, I'll catch up on fic updates in my email and then go back to working my way through my marked for later stuff. lol

Currently watching? 📺

Spent some time with very dear friends/chosen family recently and caught up on some things I hadn't seen (I'm super slow to watch things on my own, partially because I really seem to prefer watching things with others). So here's what I watched on my little holiday:

The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. I'm not sure why I'd never gotten around to seeing it as I adore both the mains and it has Betty White, who is always a delight. It was so much fun. Just the sort of thing I want from a rom com.

Knight and Day with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. A fun romp of an action comedy and a hell of a wild ride. Cameron Diaz was so fun as she gets dragged into spy stuff and shows she's rather a quick study.

Two eps of Black Mirror: San Junipero and Ashley O. Both eps were really good. San Junipero totally made me cry, but in a good way. It was just so sweet. Ashley O was a little slow at the start, but once it hits it's stride it was great.

One episode of the Amazon Prime series Solos: Leah. This episode features Anne Hathaway and was honestly amazing. She plays a physicist trying to solve time travel and it packs a hell of a punch. The premise of this anthology series is that each episode only features one actor, but it is amazing what an incredibly talented actor can accomplish all on their own. Leah tells an incredibly powerful story and I highly recommend watching it.

Madame Web. This one was a mixed bag. Fascinating premise, but the execution of the ideas was...not great. It was compelling enough that I was willing to sit through the not great parts to see what happened and the ending is solid. It's like the writers/director didn't know how to do the build up but once they hit a certain point of the story they found their rhythm and it worked a lot better from that point on.

Hunger Games Mockingjay Parts 1 and 2. I'd read the books about a decade ago and seen the first two movies, but somehow never got around to seeing the last two. I really enjoyed both. The cast is phenomenal and Jennifer Lawrence does a really good job of playing someone with C-PTSD and concussions. There were some lovely subtle shifts in her expression at times. Playing someone who is wooden when given acting directions for propaganda videos and vibrant and engaging when acting on their own is not an easy thing and she does it wonderfully. The rest of the cast is equally amazing.

Currently craving?

Ice cream. But I'll probably have a yogurt instead.

Coffee or tea?

Both! Coffee I loved hot or iced and with a bit of cream but no sugar. Tea I also love hot or iced. So far the only tea I'm not a fan of is lapsang souchong, which has a very smoky taste and scent. (as in it smells a bit like campfire and taste like liquid smoke--to me at least). Black teas I like with milk but no sweetener. Herbal teas...some I like with cream if hot (usually spiced ones) and others (particular fruit based ones) I like with nothing added. Greens, whites, pu erhs, and oolongs I generally like plain, though I do like to add cream to spiced teas as I really like how the cream flavor interacts with the spices.

As usual, I'm gonna just say that if you feel like playing, please consider yourself tagged by me. Please do tag me if you decide to play along. I love learning about all y'all.

Since I'm chatty as hell, I decided to follow @oldefashioned's lead. Here's an easy template for those who would like to play along.

rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with

Tagged by

Favorite color?

Last song?

Currently reading?

Currently watching?

Currently craving?

Coffee or tea?

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Prestige Social media vs Reality

I like the fic Beyond the Camera to the point that I've kept coming up with ideas and we've got this remix. The timeline isn't at all correct but oh well. It's not explicitly said, but Sakura was SA in her previous relationship, but again, they kinda brush over it. Enjoy. @sasuhinamonth

Hidden & Seen | Oculto y Visto

Loud & Quiet | Ruidoso y Callado

○ Eve_Prestige (Offical account for Prestige) ○ Sasumiko ( Uchiha Sasuke / Male lead vocal of Prestige / ○ uchiha_corp) ○ Sunflower (Hinata / Prestige) ○ Cherry-punch (Haruno Sakura / Leader of Prestige / Dance me to the sky) ○ GaaraNS (Gaara / Rapper of Prestige / brother of ○ temari-fantasy)

○Cherry-punch: BTS fact about ○eve_prestige SENORITA A video of Sakura. She's walking around the Prestige home. The chorus of Senorita is background music. 'So, you know how most the video for Senorita was a one shot, like first it would be me and Sasuke and then it focused on him and when it went wide again Hinata would be in my place before going back to Sasuke except then it was Gaara? Do you know why the scenes with the motorcycle only had me and Hinata switching places?' Sakura opens a door before flipping the camera. The garage has 3 cars and next to the one everyone knows as Sasuke's is a familiar motorcycle. It's the same one from the music video. 'Turns out Sasuke got his motorcycle license as a birthday present. He used his own bike for the video.'

___________

"He had to be joking right?" Sakura asked, her foot unable to stop moving up and down. "I mean, I know his family is rich, but it's Sasuke. There's no way he'd hide having a motorcycle for this long."

Gaara and Hinata shared a look. They couldn't disagree. Sasuke was definitely stuck up enough to flaunt his bike for 5 minutes because it would increase his ego. Hiding it was interesting, unless it actually had more to do with his father. It wasn't a secret Sasuke didn't get along with him, still connected with the family unlike Hinata and her own family. Hinata wondered if it might also have to do with his mother.

As far as she could tell, the rest of the group didn't know about his mother, let alone that she passed away. His mother taught him everything when it came to music which is why he fought so hard against his family to make it as a singer on his own, not even going with his cousin's label. She wondered if the reason he didn't mention the bike was because of her.

The door to the fake dinner set opened and TenTen stuck her head in.

"He's back!"

Sasuke was being scolded by the hair stylist for messing up his hair, which he mainly ignored, letting the stunts director look over his bike. She didn't know bikes but it looked nice, modern compared to the ones she'd seen in movies or old school animes.

"How long have you had your license?" The director asked.

Sasuke unzipped the pocket on his jacket. It wasn't the one he came to set in, the larger jacket was more form fitting than his others. There was a white mark on one of the sleeves Hinata couldn't see. Sasuke handed a license to the director who looked it over, looking impressed.

"Got it right when you could huh? I'm gonna call a friend to check if there are any accidents that didn't make the news, but if not, we can do the scene. Just you driving though, whole reason you're doing this is because the green screen isn't gonna be here."

"Let me see, let me see!" Sakura begged, Sasuke unable to stop her when the Sasuke’s stylist spotted dirt on his pants.

Sasuke in the picture looked younger than he did now, not 16, but clearly the license had been updated recently. He still scowled at the camera like he did when he wasn't working, but he seemed angrier than usual.

"Wow Sasuke, who pissed you off?" Sakura asked.

"Right now, you. Will you two give out a rest? Its gonna get messy when you shoot the scene anyway." He complained.

"Well, if everything is going to get approved, let's get you guys ready. Hinata, you'll go first." Their main director decided.

"W-what?" She asked, looking at the bike. The idea of getting on that filled get with anxiety.

"You'll be fine." Sasuke said.

"She’d better." Sakura threatened. "If she faints because of her anxiety, it's your fault."

It felt like a blur getting changed and made up, being handed a helmet and getting driven to the filming spot higher up the mountain. Sasuke was already there and gave her another look that told her to calm down as the director followed her. She sent him the smallest glare. He'd done this before, she hadn't.

"Alright, we'll be further up. Start driving up and we'll start filming when you’re in shot. It'll be a strip of spotting tape, it's bright pink. Don't go too fast, the car isn't that fast. And be careful."

Sasuke turned to Hinata, who wondered how she was going to put on her helmet without messing her hair up much.

"Here." Hooking his own helmet to the handle, he took the helmet and slid it onto Hinata's head, flicking her visor down when it was clipped on. "Need a hand getting on?" He asked ignoring her squeak from being unable to see until her eyes adjusted.

"Um, no. I, I think I got it." She said, stepping forward. She struggled to figure out how to approach this. She'd ridden horses before - she was pretty good too - but this made her more nervous than a 6 ft animal. She realised just how tall the bike was when she realised getting her leg over was going to be a struggle.

She let out another squeak as she was picked up under her arms and plopped onto the bike.

"You're taking too long." The male lead scolded, putting his own helmet on before seamlessly getting on. He turned the bike on and looked back. "You gonna hold on?"

Happy her face was covered, Hinata shook her head, her grip tight on the seat. She let out a startled scream when the bike jolted and she was thrown forward, grabbing onto Sasuke to keep from falling off.

"You, you d-did that on purpose!"

All she heard was Sasuke laughing at her before he took off, making her hold on tighter.

-------

○ prestigefanclub: Prestige is finally back out as a group after ○sunflower accident. They attended a party thrown by ○rin. Both the Uchiha and Hyuuga families were in attendance but ○sasumiko was the only one at the table with the families. Hinata was seen sitting with ○cherry-punch and ○gaarans. ○eve_prestige performed a song from their platinum release of their album and Sasuke was the one to help Hinata sit on a stool so she didn’t have to struggle with her crutches. Word is ○sunflower physical therapy is still going well and the whole fan club wishes her a swift and safe recovery. Photos both professional and candid taken outside on red carpet and within the party. The first is a video of Hinata putting her arm around Sakura’s waist while her crutches are passed to Kakashi and her ballgown skirt is fluffed out by Sasuke before he stands up to be on Hinata’s other side. The next is the photo taken on the red carpet. A candid photo of the leader, rapper and visual of Prestige sitting at a table with other members of Evolution and you can just spot Sasuke behind them sitting between his father and brother. There’s another candid of the members looking to where Sasuke is. The next is after their performance where Sasuke is helping Hinata off her stool.

----------

“Hyuuga-sama has asked you to also join.”

The attendant who was in charge of directing guests to their seat had directed Gaara and Sakura to the table full of other Evolution members, while separating Sasuke from them. And Hinata it seemed.

“I-I’m sorry?” Hinata asked, the grip on her crutches tightening. She was on crutches because she’d been in an accident. One her family was the first to be informed about. The only person to show up was Neji, the only person in her family to support her dreams of being a singer.

“He’d like for you and Sasuke to join their table.”

“No.” she answered, the same time as Sasuke. They shared looks and she knew this wasn’t just her boyfriend keeping her from his family. “I’ll be with the rest of Evolution.”

“My father can deal with just me.” Sasuke said, looking at his band mates. “Keep an eye on her.”

“Oh, we will. Feel free to join us when he ends up pissing you off.” Sakura said, guiding Hinata towards the table with most of their label mates. “You actually said no. I’m so proud of you!”

Hinata was surprised she did as well. When it came to her family, she’d given them so many chances, but from being disowned a day before her birthday, being turned away at her father’s hospital room and her family not even caring that she was in the hospital, she didn’t care anymore. Her father didn’t get to turn his back on her and then demand she sit with them at the first event she was doing since getting out of the hospital.

“Excuse me, Hinata?”

A man with pale skin, similar to Sai, white hair and intense blue eyes slid in front of them. he focused on Hinata and she immediately started to feel uncomfortable.

“I can take you to the table. I was hoping to talk to you. I’m Otsutsuki Toneri.”

She knew the family, successful lawyers who worked with her family’s company.

“Apparently you’re deaf.” Sasuke walked up, moving so he was standing between her and Toneri. “I just told her father she wasn’t joining them. Get lost and sit down.”

“I was just trying to help.”

“Trust me, she doesn’t need your help.”

Taking it as a que, Gaara guided Hinata around them and to the table. Deidara already had a chair pushed out for her.

“Yikes. I don’t know who that guy is, but Sasuke looks like he wants to punch him.”

Hinata was sure he wanted to. He’d been more protective since she got out of the hospital and with the nightmares she’d been having of the accident and Hidan in general, it was worse. She didn’t want him so far away, stuck dealing with a father who didn’t listen and a brother who either snitched on him or spoke in riddles that didn’t help. He got he was worried about her, but who worried about him?

Other than cold looks from her father, her family left her alone, Neji coming over to check on her and say hello to TenTen. Obito wasn’t their biggest fan either, but his biggest talent Rin was nothing but nice.

“I’m so glad to see you out.” Rin told Hinata when she came to the table and checked on them. “I hope my flowers got to you alright.”

“They did, thank you. And f-for your letter.”

“I’m glad he’s gone for good. And remember that you’ve got your label supporting you.” Rin looked over to the table holding the Uchiha family members. “I’ll get Obito to give Sasuke up. I’m sure you’d all be happier with him. Besides, I’m looking forward to listening to your song.”

“Thank you!” Sakura thanked, taking her role as leader but honestly, they were all happy Sasuke wasn’t going to be stuck with his family any longer.

“The lawyer wouldn’t stop asking questions about you.” Sasuke reported, finally joining them and standing behind Hinata’s chair. To most, it just looked like he was standing there because it was the closest, but she felt a single brush on her neck from him. “He thinks you guys are similar because you don’t get along with your families.”

“I’m sure his family didn’t straight up turn their backs on him when he was in the hospital and then mention it to no one, but sure.” Sakura mentioned sarcastically. “He can go suck it with the rest of the Hyuugas. Except Neji, we like him.”

“Thank you.” Neji said from his seat. “Hinata, when you perform, you’re not planning on standing the whole time are you?” the other acts who’d performed had been holding their mics.

“Kakashi said they’re gonna have her sit on a stool. How we’re getting her on there is another question.” Sakura said, pulling at one of the layers of Hinata’s skirt.

“I got her. Just keep the crowd distracted.” Sasuke easily said. “She’s not that heavy with the cast on.”

He should know. Hinata almost rarely slept in her room because Sasuke would carry her to his. The excuse was the help with the nightmares but anything else, well, that was their secret for now.

                                                                     ---------

○sunflower: Say hello to the newest Prestige member Sunny! A video of a light grey Flemish Giant rabbit, nose twitching as it plays with a yarn ball. Another clip of him eating a piece of lettuce from Hinata’s hand. Gaara laying on the ground playing video games when Sunny hops up to him and flops into his side. Sunny having bunny zoomies with Hinata giggling behind the camera as Sasuke is unable to walk into the living room from the kitchen. ‘Will you move?’ He asks. All ending with Sunny cleaning his ears on someone’s bed.

                                                                     ---------

Sasuke opens the door to her room. Used to this, Hinata continues scrolling on her phone. With the news of Hinata formally removing her last name and changing it to her mother’s maiden name, people were either swarming with support or calling her spoiled. Kakashi had released a statement calling all those who didn’t see the Hyuugas’ reactions to thing Hinata had done as cruel not true fans of Prestige. It managed to drown all those who’d been making comments about her body, enough that someone other than Sasuke noticed and stopped her from crazy dieting.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?” she hummed, looking at the posts under #backtobeautiful, from the song TenTen had done that she had Hinata appear in.

“Hey.”

“Yes?” Sasuke wasn’t exactly shy about asking what he wanted, so she was confused why he seemed to be bugging her now.

Something dropped on the bed, fur brushing past her feet, making her move them. Looking, she saw a large grey rabbit moving around her bed, stopping whenever she moved. She turned to look at Sasuke who just stared at her.

“You said you always wanted a rabbit.”

Once, she’s mentioned it once. Somehow they ended up talking about their mothers, Sasuke talking about how his mom was the one to always encourage his love of music and Hinata’s mother the same by taking her as her ‘date’ to any musical performances she got tickets to. The rabbit was just mentioned as her mother’s last promise of a gift for her birthday.

“Tsunade knows a family and they train the rabbits to be therapy animals. This one sort of failed, good at recognising anxiety but has way too much energy.”

She looked at the rabbit again, his nose twitching as well as his mouth, his teeth poking out. she let him sniff her hand before she pet his downy fur. “Does he have a name?” she asked as the rabbit moved closer, sniffing her and nudging at her locket.

“Sunny. You stick with sunflower on social media so I thought it fit.”

“I like it.” she sat up, letting Sunny put his front paws on her lap as he observed everything in her room, most put into boxes so they could be moved to TenTen’s new home when she got the keys. She looked up at Sasuke, who started getting red.

“What?”

“Thank you.”

Even though they’d been dating for a while and actually got better at communicating, he was still shy to show affection when it was the two of them, preferring to hide behind his normal egotistical attitude.

“Well, whenever I’m dragged to events with the Uchiha family and Gaara and Sakura are too focused on each other to notice you, since you refuse to say anything, I wanted to make sure you had someone who would be with you.”

She tugged him down to kiss him. “Aren’t you sweet?”

He got redder. “Shut up.”

                                                                 ---------

○eve_prestige: July 23 marks ○sasumiko 23rd birthday. Happy birthday Sasuke! A picture of Sasuke holding a chocolate cupcake with a candle in it. He’s dressed in his outfit from the most recent TV performance. ○cherry-punch: Hey, did you know the reason ○eve_prestige hasn’t made a post on ○sunflower birthday? It’s because someone didn’t tell us her birthday was December 27th when we all celebrated Christmas for the first time together last year. ○sasumiko is the only one who knew. A video of Sasuke having his picture taken by Hinata. Behind the camera Sakura starts a round of Happy Birthday, Sasuke audibly groaning. Hinata turns when Sakura, Gaara and the members of Akatsuki scream her name instead of Sasuke’s. Gaara hands Hinata a cinnamon roll while Sasuke plucks the candle off his cupcake and put it into the middle of her roll, leaning down and whispering something in her ear. ‘Blow out the candle!’ Kisame yells. Hinata raises it so it’s level with Sasuke before they both blow out the one candle to everyone’s cheering. Reposted by ○eve_prestige

                                                              ---------

“I’m sorry, what do you mean her birthday already passed?” Sakura asked, a touch of anger and annoyance in her voice.

Sasuke hadn’t meant to say that. He knew Hinata would feel bad and she hated making people worry over her. Sakura was warning him that they’d have to make a post for his birthday and that they were going to order a cake. Sasuke had gotten her to agree to a cupcake instead, that he could pass along to anyone who wanted it. Gaara made a comment that it was interesting Hinata’s birthday hadn’t come up yet since they passed their one-year anniversary of becoming a group and it came out.

“It’s nothing.”

“No, it’s not! Spill Uchiha, what do you know?” Sakura demanded.

“Shh!” Gaara shushed, looking towards the stairs where Hinata was doing a virtual appointment with her therapist. She got much more distracted when she was at home instead of actually going in.

“How on Earth did you know? Is this a rich family thing? Is this – wait a second.” Sakura’s green eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh, I’m such an idiot. The locket.”

Fucking hell.

“She was wearing it after we came back. I could have asked if, you know. she’s never taken it off. You were back sooner too.”

“We saw pictures of you at your family’s holiday party and at the Hyuuga one.” Gaara thought out loud.

“But there was another one right? Don’t remember seeing photos then.” Sakura continued.

“Are you two done?” he asked, wanting the conversation to be over.

“Is it on Christmas? I swear to god, if it’s on Christmas and she didn’t say anything.”

He sighed. “It’s the 27th. Neji basically told me; he asked if I had heard from her because she normally spent it with her mom.”

“And god forbid Hyuuga Hiashi actually do something for Hinata, even on her birthday. Ok, that settles it! We’re doing dinner. You don’t get to say no!” she said, seeing him open his mouth to say no. “You got to spend it with her, we didn’t even know. ok, now I have to get a cake.”

“No! it’s just gonna sit in the fridge for ages until we end up moving out.”

“How about a cinnamon roll? We can use that for the post and then we’ll share a cake at dinner?” Gaara suggested instead, always the mediator when Hinata wasn’t there to do it.

“Fine. I’m so getting you back for this.” Sakura promised before picking her phone up and calling TenTen.

He needed to leave then. If Sakura passed him the phone and TenTen started lecturing him – though she easily could have found this information out from her own boyfriend – he was going to lose it.

                                                             ---------

“Birthday sleepover in the living room!” Sakura announced.

Sasuke sighed as they headed towards the stairs. “I guess a birthday blowjob is out of the question?”

Hinata spun around and slapped Sasuke on the shoulder before continuing upstairs. “Y-you’re unbelievable.”

“Hey, be nice. It’s my birthday.” He followed her into her room, where Sunny stood on his hindlegs, begging to be released from his cage, though getting distracted with the gift bags in Hinata’s hand. Those who came for dinner brought both him and Hinata gifts, Hinata’s more extravagant because of how late it was. “You’re not upset I mentioned anything, right? About your birthday?”

“No.” Hinata said, petting Sunny before getting up and pulling her pyjamas from under her pillow. “I didn’t want to make you guys think you needed to do twice as much, let alone cancel your plans. Granted, if I knew what it would have saved Sakura, I might have said something. But, I kinda liked that it was just you. Your family gives you so much grief, it would have been easier to just call me, but you came.” She touched the locket he’d given her, one with the picture of her mother in it. “And gave me the most thoughtful gift ever. So, no. I’m not upset. Oh, and if you really want your birthday gift, I’m sure Gaara and Sakura will either get distracted later tonight, or we could just take a really long shower.”

He dropped his own bags on the floor, shooing Sunny out of the room to go bother the others downstairs before dragging Hinata into the shared bathroom. “I’ve totally corrupted you.”

[dreamywolfdd]

Sonic Thoughts

this will be different than most of my posts, but id like to type this out since i been thinking bout it alot, nothing wrong is going on btw this is mostly me typing out my thoughts

________

but if you want a tl;dr:

not entirely leaving/done with it, but i want to focus on other stuff aside of sonic the hedgehog in general, i want to focus on my other interests and obsessions

________

i been thinking bout it and i decided that sonic superstars will be my last sonic game i'll buy for who knows how long

this does not mean i hate sonic now or i'm done w it or anything, but i been recently thinking bout how sonic's been these past few yrs, content wise and what i personally think bout it currently

latest releases such as sonic prime, sonic movie 2, idw comics and sonic origins made me think bout it alot, as much as i enjoyed the movie and liked the idw comic i got as a gift, this is a whole new generation of fans we speaking of now, its been more noticeable how a new era of sonic is here thanks to the movies and that makes me so happy but it also makes me realize how some of the recent stuff flat out isn't rlly my thing (like sonic prime), sure, they may be good on their own and such but there's some stuff i just dont think its worth for me to look at, but i do however hope the newer generation enjoys it alot, i dont feel like part of that target demographic anymore

one major thing that made me question it too is pmuch with the quality of games, i recently gave frontiers a second playthrough and it made me remember why i had a fun experience with it, but it also made me see the flaws it has aswell too, its not a perfect game by any means but you can tell morio kishimoto, lizuka and everyone at sonic team have been wanting to deliver an amazing experience for a while now, remembering how the director had to convince higher ups to get more time for development made me think alot, this will be a dumb comparison maybe but if there's one thing i would love for sega to have its give more time and budget for its developers and such, recently, even if sometimes nintendo has been very questionable and sometimes bad, i will give them alot of credit and respect by how they been treating their artists and devs recently, games such as tears of the kingdom and smb wonder, seeing how they gave alot of time to their developers and artists to craft such wonderful games, i definitely want that for sonic games to have as well too, it has been admitted before and it has been a thing i been agreeing for yrs too

whenever i look back at sonic fondly, its mostly games i played in the past and still replay and hope i will for many yrs to come, same with the era and type of sonic i usually enjoy the most too, its just something thats not there anymore and its usually what comes up in my head whenever i think of sonic rather than the recent stuff, not saying its bad or anything but its my prefered one just like how many ppl have their prefered and definitive version of sonic

i been playing and enjoying many other stuff aside of sonic for many yrs now, as a kid i remember always being sattisfied with a game from the famicom for example, or how games like cave story and super meat boy made me have a blast for hours, but i do noticed how in recent years its been lowering with sonic and what i mostly do is revisit the older games and played frontiers when it came out, for yrs i been enjoying exploring and enjoying many different types of games old and new, i highly recommend sonic fans to also widen their library of games (and media in general) to explore many hidden gems

i have many other interests and obsessions that cannot leave my head, so i want to give more love to those as well too, at a far distance, ppl will know right away im a sonic fan, but will completely ignore my other interests and outside of gaming as well too, so its also why i been thinking bout this too

so yeah, if you notice my lack of sonic stuff is because of that, again, i do not hate sonic or im done with it, but its been a question in my head i been contemplating for some time now since sonic pretty much is one of the main things i literally cannot live without (xd), i will still do sonic fanart stuff from time to time, i will still replay my favorite games and such and of course, i will play and enjoy sonic superstars as my last sonic game for who knows how long, i hope ppl who have known and met me because of my sonic stuff have that in mind maybe

if you've read all of my wall of text, ty, i dont think this will be read either way but if so, ty very much and hope you have a good one

[georgiapeach30513]

I'm going to counterpoint that American Psycho anon with Matt Damon's character in the Drive Away Dolls movie. I wouldn't say his role in this film (no spoilers but it is readable on the film's wiki) is particularly level with his current career. I mean he was just in Oppenheimer...lol. Can we also mention him appearing in the Dunkin commercial with Ben for the Super Bowl? But, he's Matt Damon. He can do what he wants.

Here's the thing: Actors will do the things they do because they want to or it's an opportunity or they were convinced for whatever reason. Or they just needed something on their resume. Or it could be a million other reasons.

We don't know for sure Chris is playing the Priest guy. It can be inferred because in the PR of the movie, he's listed as playing a cult leader and cult leaders are usually akin to religious leaders, and Priest Dean makes sense. However, these are simply context clues, like Jen has mentioned previously. You don't know what his entire role will be. I don't think having raunchy sex onscreen, if his character does do this, means it's downgrading his career. I think if anything it's meant to be comical, but maybe people should watch Drive Away Dolls and see what type of vibe Ethan and Tricia were going for. I think it'll be in the same realm in Honey Don't. But it could also be completely different. Who knows what's going on in that brain of Coen.

And I'm going to be dead honest...I recently tried to watch the Pam and Tommy show and I was extremely turned off by it and everyone involved. TBF, I think Seth Rogen and co are way too old to be doing something like a show about a sex tape....and the fact that they needed to put Tommy talking to his penis. To me....that was unnecessary and not something I would do if I was trying to be taken seriously. It somewhat worked for the Awards circuit, and the show and the cast got recognized. But if you asked me if on paper, a show focusing on a sextape that gets stolen of two famous people would garner Awards...I would have rolled my eyes. But you really never know. Until the finished product.

And...last controversial take. Everything Everywhere All at once. I am a huge Michelle Yeoh fan. But I did not enjoy this film. There was a butt plugs fight scene...(For anyone who hasn't seen it, well...yeah) Again, it worked out for the Academy and for viewers, but I couldn't take it seriously. But I don't hold it against the actors because this is something unexpected and out of pocket. For Michelle, I wouldn't have expected her at this point in her career to be doing a film like this but glad she did. Because it got her the Oscar. And the mainstream recognition she's deserved, in my opinion, for a very long time.

Again - I am not saying that Honey Don't is going to be some Oscar darling because I'm going to go ahead and say it's not. Lol. But it is coming from the brainchild of an auteur Oscar nominated/winning director whose made some very out of pocket and unique films in his career. I'd more like to ask Margaret Qualley what made her decide to sign onto a sequel before the first one even came out.

Whatever happens, I think this will be at the very least, an interesting role for Chris.

You do bring up a great point with Matt Damon. I feel throughout most of his career Matt has been a very respected actor, and he’s still done some raunchy comedies. Dogma, anyone?

And we don’t know, and may never know why Chris chose this role. At the end of the day, he’s going to do what is best for him and his career. And we can continue to watch, or don’t. And that’s okay. Once upon a time I was a HUGE Elijah Wood fan. I still adore him, but I don’t check out every single project he does.

Okay, so as far as the talking penis in Pam and Tommy, that was literally taken from Tommy’s memoir. And unfortunately sometimes the shock value is what people do. And Seth Rogan is one that loves a good shocking moment. And those moments can cause buzz. Buzz is what makes people want to watch something. I work with a lot of people, from a lot of different walks of life. And one of my clients, has no idea who Sebastian is, but heard enough about P&T and decided to watch it. She now is a Sebastian fan.

I have yet to see Everything Everywhere All at Once, but @nancydrewwouldnever told me I need to check it out more than once 😂 I’m currently finishing up the Fall of the House of Usher, yes, I know I’m late. And look at what it earned Michelle! So good on her!

We don’t know what Honey, Don’t will entail. We aren’t even 100% sure if Priest Dean is Chris, I think it’s a great guess. But he will be doing a panel this Saturday, and I’m going out on a limb and predicting that he will mention his upcoming projects. He has a lot of work he can talk about this time.

And what we can say for certain, is with Honey, Don’t, Chris is stepping out of his comfort zone. He’s taking a risk. And this is what I and several other people have asked for ALL last year. So I am excited to see what his future holds.

[destinyc1020]

Success can be viewed in different ways. Just tell me a successful Tom project that is a critical/audience/box office success other than Spider-Man? There is no such project yet. Also, the general public only knows him for his role as Spider-Man and that's the problem. When Tom himself talked about the reviews for TCR, he can say that it’s not so important (which is true to some extent), but the dude literally played one of the most difficult roles for an actor, it affected him psychologically and then he gets such reviews. He deserves better. You can say that critics don't matter, but they actually matter, it's stupid to deny that. Especially when this is not the first time this has happened.

And at the same time, Tom has successful projects; the same Uncharted, with a budget of 120 million dollars, collected 400 million. I still believe that this is Tom's merit, the film itself was in a disastrous development, it seems the directors changed several times, and the fans of the game themselves still hate and boycotted this film and the actors in these roles. And projects of this genre should collect good box office. And it’s cool that this happened) For example, the recent film The Fall Guy, with a budget of $130 million and positive reviews from critics, with a cast that was literally nominated for an Oscar this year, earned $66 million.

I’m not saying that Tom’s career is terrible, everything will be fine with him, I’m sure that in the future we will see many interesting roles and projects. But it’s also normal to think about it, reason and also analyze what Tom/fans want or how Tom himself and his team work.

Re: "The Fall Guy"

I wouldn't compare "The Fall Guy" (which is an original film) to say smthg like the movie "Uncharted", which had a lot of ppl wanting to hate on the film, but is ALSO a huge IP, with already built-in fans of the game.

Even if you have never played the game in your life, you've more than likely at least heard of the game.

So, I'm not sure I'd compare those two films together tbh. "The Fall Guy" was risky. Why do you think Hollywood usually puts out nostalgic films, or films that are connected to big IP's? It's typically because they know those films are going to usually be an automatic hit at the box office, even if the film itself isn't all that great. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Just the recognizable title alone helps.

Plus, Tom's fandom is more than likely bigger than Ryan and Emily's fandoms combined. Yes, a large part of that is due to the Spiderman and Marvel films just in general, but I think it's also just due in part to how charming and vlikeable Tom is as well! 😊

Anyway....

You mentioned the bad reviews that "he" got for TCR. But if you recall, Tom himself wasn't getting most of the negative reviews. It was the WRITING and the pacing of the series that most critics had issues with.

In fact, I'd say that most of the time, it's usually never Tom's ACTING that is being harshly criticized in these negative film critic reviews. It's usually the writing, the directing, etc.

So those reviews (while I'm sure they didn't feel all that great) weren't a slight to Tom the actor. Sometimes, even good actors are just in crappy projects! 🤷🏾‍♀️

I personally enjoyed TCR and didn't find it crappy at all. I just think the series treated us like we were dumb, when they could have gotten to the point quicker (imo) and given us more character development of some of the other side characters and more court scenes.

But overall? TCR was one of the BEST Hollywood made projects on DID disorder, and handled it in such a well-done way. I've seen quite a few, and I'd say that TCR handles that delicate mental health issue the best. 😊

Anyway, if you think that Tom's career is fine overall, and that he'll win Oscars in the future, and be just fine, why are you complaining then lol? 😅 Is it coz Twitter told you to?

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@bixiebeet @spengnitzed @tacticalcinnamonroll @ireneead @angelixgutz @themousefromfantasyland @thealmightyemprex

So I haven't watched the most recent Ghostbusters movie, Afterlife, but I get the plot spoilers and some backstage info, and there is a major plot point that rubs me the wrong way:

So the movie was directed by Jason Reitman, the son of Ivan Reitman (the original two movies director) who becamed famous for dramedies about complicated family situations like Juno and Thanks for Smoking.

He decided to bring this background by making his iteration in the Ghostbusters film series be a movie about a father who left his daughter and is forgiven by her after he passes away and becomes a ghost, wich, while not a plot I find particularly favorable to the father character in the 2020s decade, could work in the usual Jason Reitman family dramedy with an original character.

Instead, he and the makers of the film decided to make this a story about pre existing character Egon Spengler.

There is the problem I have with this idea: In real life, actor Harold Ramis lived a complicated family situation where he and comedy director got involved while both were married in the 80s, this resulted in his second daughter, and sayed daughter was raised distant from him and thinking her mother's husband was her father until a DNA prooved otherwise and in 2004, 10 years before Ramis died, this grown up daughter camed into contact with him and his other three children, and while they remained close, not being around while she was growing was a painfull regreat that Ramis had to deal with.

(Here is the article Violet Ramis shared about the story wich is also a chapter of her book Ghostbuster's Daughter, I recomend the reading because is very bittersweet, just ignore the sensationalist sounding headline).

Harold Ramis was a director, writer and actor, and in his career you can see an effort in showing range and avoiding characters that felt too close to him in real life.

Egon Spengler is the most famous example: a formal, skeptic, introverted, awkward, morbid, yet helpfull and merry nerd who deeply values the company of his friends and would have no reason to hide personal facts from them, but actually would try to comunicate with them and ask for help.

So the idea of that character abandoning a child that none of his friends had any idea existed (not even having any idea that he may have got involved with a woman to father a child when all four Ghostbusters talked about each other's romantic or sexual lifes) rather than asking them to take care of her, dying alone, miserable and branded as a paranoid madman (when it was extablished that he was the most skeptic researcher of his group while Ray was the one who would quickly jump to believe in anything supernatural and, having the traumatic experience of unconsciously choosing the form of the Destructor in the first movie was a more fitting choice to become a paranoid character that would embark into a suicidal mission to destroy Gozer alone after receiving many false alarms) doesn't fit with his pre extablished personality and dynamics with the other characters.

Sometimes, incorporating some little subtle details from the real life actor into the character can be enjoyable and interesting to flourish them (like when in the original 1984 movie Winston makes a reference to his christian faith, likely taking inspiration from his actor, Ernie Hudson, who camed from a family of preachers).

But when it comes to major plot points and overall personality, it is better to avoid completely mixing the character with the biography of the actor, both for an audience to better enjoy the performances and a situation that is exploitative of the performer.

It is possible for writers to write a character with an actor in mind, while also extablishing that the character doesn't need to have the exact personality of the actor.

After all this is the point of acting: to be a person different of yourself.

During the production of the 2009 videogame, the last Ghostbusters production to have all the original cast members performing together, the game designers intended to put a Crystal Head Vodka bottle as an easter egg to Dan Aykroyd's brand.

Aykroyd sayed that this easter egg was unnecessary, because his character, Ray Stantz, doesn't drink vodka. So the insertion of the bottle was scrapped.

Even tough this could help promote his brand, Aykroyd was clear in making Ray Stantz different from himself with a detail as small as what the character drinks or doesn't drink.

He had a say to extablish this difference.

Why couldn't the filmakers also have attention to separate the big details about an actor's life from their character?

Ghostbusters: Afterlife is a recent production that was made when Harold Ramis was dead and couldn't have a say in what the writers and the director with his character.

He was the screen writer of the original two movies alongside Dan Aykroyd and had extablished that Egon Spengler was not an extension of his life.

And here camed Hollywood, deciding, after he died, not only to mix the two up, but making a specially complicated and painfull moment of his personal life a major plot point of a movie rewriting the character he created to be different of himself.

He had no chance to be consulted and say either "yes" or "no" about this idea.

The filmakers just rolled with it, and put a "For Harold" sentence in the ending credits believing this to be a homage.

But for me, this feels kinda of the exploitation of the personal life of a man who couldn't protest because he passed away.

Not the most respectfull tribute.

[invisiblekatanaartwork]

Artist’s Blog #133 - Switchblade Sisters (1975)

Diving Into the Cult Classic: Switchblade Sisters

I recently jumped into the “cult classic” Switchblade Sisters from 1975. It features the usual tropes: adults playing teenagers who inexplicably hang out in run-down, power-supplied buildings. These hangouts are surprisingly well-stocked with pool tables and beer fridges, and the teenagers' parents seem unusually lax. But it’s a movie, so I get it. Despite not being impressed, I watched the entire film. Filmed in California during the 1970s, the movie had just enough of the era’s vibe to keep me engaged. Let’s explore what I liked—and didn’t like—a little further.

The Grating Voice of Lace in Switchblade Sisters

Switchblade Sisters irritated me in ways most movies don’t, especially when it came to Robbie Lee’s character, “Lace.” As the lead role, she was on screen a lot, and her frequent presence was grating. One thing, in particular, bothered me: her habit of clenching her teeth and speaking whenever she got angry or tried to intimidate someone. It was a mannerism that, while not unique to her, was uniquely irritating in this context. I would’ve preferred if she had just screamed instead. This quirk made it obvious she was trying to act, rather than simply acting. While I’m no actor and hesitate to critique acting too harshly, this performance just rubbed me the wrong way.

Memories Triggered by a Peacock Chair in Switchblade Sisters

When my grandmother passed away, I had the chance to take a clawfoot bathtub and several skeleton key doors with crystal knobs. Although I’ve always been fascinated by antiques, I passed on the opportunity and regret it to this day. My brother, on the other hand, took some cabinets, keeping her memory alive through these family heirlooms. One of the few things I enjoyed about Switchblade Sisters was spotting a “Peacock” chair—the exaggerated round-back wicker chair that used to sit on my grandmother’s back porch. That small detail brought back a flood of memories, though, unfortunately, there wasn’t much else I enjoyed about the film.

Switchblade Sisters: A Neon Twist on Classic 70s Style

The color schemes on posters and the art in the opening and closing credits of old movies always catch my eye. A recent film that did this well was Thanksgiving (you can read my thoughts on that here). In Switchblade Sisters, the opening scenes, and possibly the closing ones too, were shot in black and white, with neon overlays. The contrast between the black-and-white footage and the neon accents was striking—a great choice by the film’s art director. It’s a technique that always works, especially with the desaturated 70s flair.

Other Enjoyable Things in Switchblade Sisters

Switchblade Sisters’ story is interesting, but it isn’t a great movie. The plot revolves around teenage gangs, a common theme in movies from that era. Each gang member dons a leather jacket, has a nickname, and, of course, carries a switchblade. However, the movie adds its own twist: the gangs are separated by gender, with the girls led by Lace and the boys led by her boyfriend. Predictably, tension arises when a new girl, Maggie, enters the scene. Interestingly, it’s the boy who turns out to be the real villain, not Maggie. As the story unfolds and gang warfare breaks out, another group is introduced.

This new group is a militant, all-female Black gang. Maggie knows their leader from a past friendship, and these heavily armed women bring a surprising twist to the plot. The gang admires communist leaders like Mao Zedong and eagerly agrees to help the white girl gang attack a rival group, led by a man named “Crabs.” The movie never delves deeply into this political subplot, which I found intriguing because it’s not something I’ve seen before in a street gang film.

In the final showdown, the unified female gangs face off against Crabs and his posse in a downtown gunfight. As expected, the scene is filled with 70s-style guns, which adds to the movie’s retro charm. I love experiencing time travel through movies, and this scene didn’t disappoint. The cheesy death scenes continue until the Black gang unveils their “surprise”—an improvised armored vehicle with steel plates and gun ports. This addition tips the scales in the battle, providing a memorable, if somewhat bizarre, climax.

Cult Classic Conundrum: What Makes Switchblade Sisters a CC?

According to Tubi, where I watched Switchblade Sisters, it’s considered a cult classic. I’m still trying to figure out why. If any fans are reading this, I’d love to hear what makes this film special to you. While the story was engaging in parts, I’m curious about what elevates it to cult status. For me, the standout elements were the switchblades, leather jackets, old skating rinks, makeshift armored cars, vintage guns, and a few stylish period sundresses worn by the girls. The bolo chain weapon was another unexpected highlight—something I’d expect to see in a Kung Fu movie, not an American gang flick.

If you enjoyed this post, feel free to explore more of my movie musings and check out my photography and artwork on my website. You can also buy original art and connect with me on social media. I’m always on an adventure to push my art forward. You can do all this here. Peace.

[cafeleningrad]

Ok no, this movie is emblematic for a larger trend in recent cinema on which I am chewing on regularly:

Projecting stoy of woman or feminist themes on a female monarch in European history. (...and why I think this approach fails the historical figure and theme at the same time.)

Don't get me wrong, I very much enjoy and like period dramas, and I think that biopics can be well done. (But only if the director is a aware that simply filming scene for scene history book paragraphs doesn't equal a good movie. Even documentaries have narratives. And dramatic retellings are in need of a thematic throughline because movies are a story telling medium. That's why Love and Mercy is beating every other music biopic. Not just because Paul Dano stars in. it's focusing it's narrative on Brian Wilson's specific struggle with schizophrenia and how he got out of a severely abusive situation.)

For one, from a marketing perspective I understand why contemporary discussions get projected on famous historical women. For one, IPs can attract audiences automatically. (I've the impression that the niche "Queen Victoria meets a POC from British colonies" genre exist solely for 55+ years audiences, but I might get polemic....) And otherwise it would be hard to sell a bigger story about women within patriarchal structures. Or at least advertising a movie so overtly about feminist themes. Please note, that I'm talking about a contemporary trend. Some historical ladies perfectly offer themselves to feminist topics, like being the only heir to a powerful position and receiving repression from every side just for being a woman. Or Empress Sisi with her full-on-eating disorder to talk about beauty ideals. (I've my thoughts on linking this specific historical figure with that topic yet this choice although I would disgress.)

However, I also think that period dramas can work perfectly on their own as Robert Egger's success of intense historical research, using often regular country folk in historical settings demonstrates. Heck, the Woman King was a resounding success in a setting usually avoided by Hollywood an explicitly about warrior women, forwarded to an audience who, I dare assume, is for most parts unfamiliar with the history of the African Western coast. If we actually would like to talk about feminists where is the effort in a bigger Olympe de Gouges movie? Were is the cinematic effort for Rosa Luxemburg or Käthe Kollwitz? If we really wanted to talk about structural patriarchal violence in historical settings, where's the effort for an Anna Göldin movie? the last witch trail of Switzerland was so spectacular in it's violence, emblematic for scapegoating a lower class women, it blew through Swiss society that freedom of press got installed, and lead to the abolishment of the death sentence. For politically powerful women leading armies, let's take my personal favourite Kutulunn, or Zenobia. This isn't meant as an what-aboutism. What I want to demonstrate is: a) it doesn't need a female monarch to garner interest in period dramas b) history is ripe, bursting actually with women who's name we know who either fought prominent for social change that still preoccupies us in out life time, or were topic of conflicts that move us in our time as well. (Although that would mean that the script and director understand their movie as thematically driven story, not as the 3D-version of a history text book... which is unfortunately a big sin in contemporary period drama making....)

But these movies fail - for me - for a very specific reason: The body of historical female monarchs was never their own body but a political body. I don't mean this in a Louise of Prussia way as in "get pregnant, look gorgeous, then die tragically young and smoking hot". I mean that for all the basic objections there rightfully exist to the institution monarchy, the historical reality was that this institutions existed, still exist, and had to make decisions of grand scale for the sake of many. Of course there was an entire apparatus of ministers, advisors etc. part of it all. An irresponsible, impulsive, selfish monarch, is one wasting away a lot of political power. In a sense of yes "noblesse oblige" yet I'm no under no illusion that there ever was a magically perfect monarch under which the kingdom ever always greened. And still, the responsibility towards matters of state could lead to the benefit of citizens, begin or end wars, and install reforms. (Sejong the Great leading to mass literacy which a massive over all benefit to the Korean Kingdom.) So it does annoy me to watch stories saying that because women were so closed in they'd to act out, and simply around, be fun, twirl around in pretty dresses, and ride one horsebacks because freedom. I guess it can convey some lovely feelings, and yes maybe a good feminist story. But it clashes so hard with the lived reality of the depicted monarchs.

It's obvious, but the kicker is that none of these famous female monarchs could ever possibly be a hashtag relatable or remotely approximating screen for topics of feminist discussions. These were women who were not part of the lived reality for the majority of women when it comes to access of options, autonomy (relative term in this context), wealth, and education. And yes, politics.

But also: Their bodies were never theirs. Monarchic bodies were bodies which were supposed to fulfill a function. The monarchic body was, and in some countries still is, a central cog of the state apparatus. Power abuse, exploitation, and arbitrary demands definitely still happened but the monarch did not belong to themselves and their personal indulgences. In that sense, female monarchs/nobles were definitely subjugated to all the sexist cruelties of demanded reproduction, representation of values and state etc. (Medieval women definitely read novels of forbidden love and other romantic taboos as escapism from a sexually rough reality they'd to live through.) However whenever I read or see lines of "I wanted to marry for love", or "it is my choice, my will for me" I feel irritated. Our contemporary understanding of physical autonomy can not be translated in that time nor class in that time because these nobles were functions, and also understood themselves as such. Yes, of course they were subject of many cruelties but they couldn't do the feminist thing of just letting it out, cut the hair short, throw their expensive as corset/stay away etc.

I think it's doing a massive disservice to history, and the power these women held: Marie-Antoinette definitely was under pressure to birth a male heir, and forced to do so as teenager. Which is certainly traumatic. But focusing only on this aspect of her life, the slices of feminist discourse which can be dramatized, pointing out how she never ordered anyone to eat cake in instead of bread, what misogynistic propaganda - it's ignoring how her own mother tried very hard to steer her daughter towards state responsibility, or Marie Antoinette's active planning against reforms and military intervention against the French Revolution. Sissi was also married was too young, and always upheld as beauty ideal even though she was hot tempered, and feeling squished by the demands to be representative, attend ceremonies, and yes that would drive anyone crazy. Yet was raised in this position, way too absorbed in her own needs, whereas Franz really functioned like a monarchists wet dream of "noblesse oblige". For my mind, I can't fathom why we need yet another Anne Boleyn installment. Especially since so many of these stories are more interested in a cinematic form of Love Island à la "hat woman could make a man defy all conventions and politics", instead of the significant character flaws of Henry VIII which lead to political rifts. We would need to talk about a man fucking up (literally) - can't have that. The Girl King falls extremely flat to me because it does erase how Kristina actually did work herself in physical exhaustion for state affairs. Willful as she was, she was not an irresponsible monarch, or driven into madness because girls are stupid for being in love. (Personal nitpick but the Peace of Westphalia is such a significant marker in European, and international legal history that I'm appalled at the lack of interest in Swedish, for that matter European politics of this time.) In general, these movies often claim to be about these historical characters still they strip away the historical figure form their grander context. Kristina isn't a young woman who became a major player in 30 year chaos, and burned herself out of Swedish state affairs - nope she's a lesbian who thinks she wants to reform politics but rather likes to read for her own sake, and becomes dysfunctional the moment she can't scissor her consort. Marie Antoinette just wants to connect to girlhood, everyone is so misogynist for attributing a false quote. Austrian-Hungarian army, whomst? That doesn't mean that Coppola's "Marie Antoinette" is vapid. What I mean, is the reduction of these historical figures happens ever so often in their intimate, private sphere, as insight on a feminist themed projection screen. However the moment real history interjects, the wish for a fictionalized version collides with the reality of the powerful impact these women could and did have on politics. It then becomes a weird boomerang of introspecting of a "female experience" detaches her from her actual significance. If not from their historical reality.

That's all to say: The very sexist structural violence, demands, and struggles existed along and in correspondence to their political standing, wealth, and prominence. But that clashes with the intentions wanting to tell a modern understanding of emancipation. These women could never just focus on their feelings - and if they did it would come with severe political consequences. Not just as personal repression but as failure to have not kept up with urgent matters of state. (Sissi was a wandering/horse back riding desaster for diplomacy by example.)

Apart form the general messiness trying to threat the thick threat of a time with drastically different mentalities and social orders through the thin loop of a movie run time, not every prominent female monarch is a good projection screen for poignant feminist discussions. For one, it would require a focused writing which wants to talk about only one aspect of that person's life. Yes, Sissi's eating disorder could make her an ideal projection body to talk about beauty ideal - if it wasn't for the fact that her thinness, and fear of fatness ran absolutely contrary to the plump beauty ideal of her time. Elisabeth I or Kristina of Sweden aren't the girls trying to break through the glass ceiling at work, they were positioned, planned, and supported in their place. Certainly not against severe odds still not in the way we conceptualized a woman on top of a powerful institution in out days.

To rest my case: Real female monarchs, or at least the ever often so brought up, or rotated 105th iteration of their biopic can only fail as "feminist movie" because it tries to locate a cause on them that simply doesn't translate to their actions as well as resources feminist causes try to make accessible in the first place.

Honourable mention of a movie which got a female monarch story right: A royal affair not only stars Mads "he could read the phonebook and he would be groundbreaking" Mikkelsen, it has it's lengths but it's well told because it knows when to fictionalize and when to keep the fabric of history intact. It's not a feminist project yet capable to be deeply sympathetic to Caroline Matilde because her end of the deal isn't met by Christian IV's metal dissability. The story of her disappointment and pain does not ignore her political action and significance. Her life story of a Herculean reformation effort isn't just a background act out of defiance against THE MAN but part of her own personal ambition. Her affair with Strunsee is lead by their shared ideals, living vicariously through Christian VI - who also becomes sympathetic as his dissability gets abused by multiple players. To say, the movie is capable of understanding how Caroline's personal life was directly interacting with her political action without sensationalizing it - as it was in actual history.

[Polemic side commentary: Well ok, even among female monarchs, I think we had plenty of Queen Victoria's, Elisabeth's I, or Empress Sissi's. If we really want female monarchs, we definitely can expand our horizons And yet Elisabeth of Thuringa as noble lady who cares for the lower classes could be there - instead of another "Queen Victoria was the nicest colonizer possible" installment, or Catherine the Great as gal of the people (featuring Hollywood casting, and erasing ethnic diversity and ethnic conflicts that actually existed and still exists in Russia - god the Great and Shadow and Bone piss me off so much for that very specific reason....) Talking about mental illness? Joana of Castile! (I mean, if we have to keep on capitalizing on the Sissi craze, why not talk about Sophia of Bavaria about a monarch who got abused in the medical system and by her husband?) Way too early sexualisation and topic discussion of reproductive rights (or lack thereof)? Margaret Beaufort. Yet I highly doubt I ever want to see any new attempt on Elisabeth Báthory, even with a Laszlo Nagi's take on her...]

Soooo... since I'm on my 30 year war fascination streak I watched the Girl King (2015, dir. Mika Karusmäki)... My guys Descartes and Oxenstierna were there, so yay. Otherwise Malin Buska's energy and acting were wasted for movie with no good thematic cohesion, and editing that makes regular German movie production look like cinematic masterpieces...

The lesbian scenes would be hot Sarah Gordon could act. or the script would have any idea how to write romance. Or women who have interests... or interest in the psychology of a historical figure...

[witchlyboo]

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

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@eridanuswave @cjand10 @deluxeplanteater @rorodendra @navs-bhat @coxxxxxpi @leviosatothestars

Thanks for all the love and support, if you have opinions, suggestions, or want to be part of the tag list (Or don’t want to be part anymore) let me know, I appreciate every message.

[zediina]

hi! sorry if this comes off as rude, but i’m learning german and was wondering if you have any german tv show/film recommendations? i’d really appreciate it if u do, thanks so much!

Hello!! Don't worry, this isn't rude at all :) I haven't seen many of these in a long time but here are a few I really enjoyed (I linked the trailers to the movies/the first seasons of the shows too):

MOVIES

Die Feuerzangenbowle (1944)

Yes, this movie is very old; it's black and white. But it's still shown on German tv and it's pretty funny. A famous writer goes undercover in a school, pretending to be a student since he never got the classic school experience (he was home-schooled). He and the other students play a bunch of pranks on the teachers, and other shenanigans happen.

Das Boot (1981)

This is a classic and was nominated for several academy awards, including best director and best cinematography. It takes place on a German submarine during ww2, so it's a war movie. Usually not my favorite genre but this one really kept me on the edge of my seat. There's also a series that came out recently, but I haven't seen that. I can't imagine that it's better than this though.

Good Bye Lenin! (2003)

Takes place shortly after the fall of the Berlin wall and tells the story of a young man from East Berlin. His mother just woke up from a coma, and the doctors say she shouldn't get any big surprises (like, you know, the of the fall Berlin wall) so he tries to fool his mom by pretending the GDR still exists; which is harder than it sounds. The premise sounds a bit ridiculous but it's a really great and funny movie.

Das fliegende Klassenzimmer (2003)

Based on a very popular children's book, this movie tells the story of a boy who's new in a boarding school. He and his new friends find the book for a musical and decide to practice and perform it. (There's a bunch of other stuff happening like a rivalry with another group of students. I haven't seen this movie in forever but it's good and the story is very well known).

Die Welle (2008)

This is based on a true story about a social experiment a history teacher did with his class; maybe you've heard of it before. They create a mock-nazi party to try and understand how they became so popular and how people could buy into their rhetoric. Things go sideways pretty quickly. A great movie and a reminder that none of us are immune to indoctrination and radicalization. There's a tv show with the same name, but I don't think they're connected.

Fack Ju Göthe (2013)

I feel like everyone in Germany has seen this comedy at this point. Objectively it isn't a very good one but I'm going to recommend it simply because every German person I know can quote at least one line from this movie. A criminal takes a job as a teacher for the owrst class in that school, because his accomplice buried the money they stole underneath the school and he needs to get to it. Let's just say his teaching methods are a bit... unconventional.

Labyrinth des Schweigens (2014)

Another movie based on a true story, and one of my favorites. This one really stuck with me. It's about a young state attorney in 1950's Germany, who starts interviewing holocaust victims and prosecuting nazi officers who served in Auschwitz. This movie really shows that many people in Germany would have preferred forgetting the holocaust ever happened and pretend everything is fine rather than confront it.

Tschick (2016)

We actually read the book to this in school. It's a bout two 14 year old boys who steal an old car and go on a road trip together, and all the crazy stuff they experience. To be honest I don't remember that much about it since it's been so long since I've seen it, but I do remember really liking it!

Kästner und der kleine Dienstag (2017)

Remember that really popular children's book I mentioned? Well, this movie is about the author of that book. He's one of the authors who stayed in Germany during the Nazi regime, even though his works were banned and burned. It's about his friendship with a young boy that inspired a character in another famous book of his.

Die unheimliche Leichtigkeit der Revolution (2021)

This movie is about the east german environmentalist movement that started the peaceful revolution, which lead to the fall of the Berlin wall. It's about a teenage girl whose younger brother died due to pollution, and the state is trying to cover it up. Also shows how the GDR was trying to suppress any criticism of the state. It's definitely not the best movie on this list, but I really enjoyed it.

TV SHOWS

Ku'Damm 56, Ku'Damm 59, and Ku'Damm 63

The three mini series tell the stories of three sisters, whose mother runs a dancing school on Kurfürstendamm in Berlin. They take place in 1956, 1959 and 1963 respectively. It touches on a lot of topics, including domestic abuse, antisemitism, homosexuality, rape and more. I particularly loved the first season, where the youngest daughter who doesn't really fit into her mother's plans discovers her love for rock n' roll dancing.

Charité

The Charité is a prestiguous university hospital in Berlin with a long history, which this series exlpores. Season 1 takes place in the 19th century, where Robert Koch is lookig for a cure to tuberculosis. Season 2 takes place in Nazi Germany and among other things talks about the euthanasia practices at the time. Season 3 takes place right when the wall is being built (which passed right by the hospital). The show includes charcters based on real people as well as fictional ones.

Deutschland 83, Deutschland 86, Deutschland 89

An East German soldier has to go and work undercover for the GDR in West Germany, at a time where cold war tensions run high. I never got around to watching the last two seasons, but I remeber that the first one was really good.

Club der roten Bänder

This is based on a true story, and there are other versions of this show for example in the US. It's about a bunch of kids with different conditions who become friends in a hospital; two of them have cancer and got their legs amputated, one has an issue with his heart, one crashed a motorcycle, the youngest is in a coma, the girl has an eating disorder. There are other characters who show up as well. The show can get pretty sad, but their friendship is really touching.

Türkisch für Anfänger

This show was wildly popular back when it came out in the early 2000s. A german woman marries a turqish man, and create a patchwork family with four kids; who are absolutely not excited about it. But they have to figure out how to live with each other.

Oof, this escalated a bit, but I didn't want to exclude anything :) I hope you find something you like on this list!

[t-lostinworlds]

Not Going Anywhere (Tom Holland)

a/n: finally! lmao. gosh, i haven’t posted a fic in a while and im scared lol. also, i’m sorry for the lack of fics recently, i’ll try and be better with it. anyway, i’m not going to babble any more asdfghjkl hope you guys enjoy this one!

pairing: tom holland x actress!reader warnings: emotional scene, blood (fake), gun shots (kinda fake), character death (very fake lmao), lots of crying, and tom just being a wholesome boyfriend. word count: 7.5k+ requested:

first off, thank you angel! 💓 you’re too sweet omg 🥺 requests are a bit tricky for me ‘cause it depends if i get inspo or not but i did with this one haha so second, i’m so sorry this took soooo long. i hope i did it justice and that you like it love! 

masterlist on bio & pinned post

-:-:-:-:-

It was the last scene of the day but neither you nor Tom were too keen on it. Both of you read the script, of course you knew this was a long time coming. This scene has been sitting in the back of your heads from the moment you both decided to take on the roles but still, it never really does prepare you mentally no matter how much you try.

Death scenes are always tricky to shoot, depending on what the undertone is. It can be a slightly easy one, the death of an enemy in which you'd channel relief, pride, a sense of accomplishment—maybe even in a sadistic, evil sense, happiness and joy. Or it can go around the hard route, the death of someone you love. There are so many ways you could go about it, so many emotions you can tap into. You can have regret, guilt, hurt, sadness, anger, fear, loss, and the list goes on.

It would've been easier to act it out with a regular colleague or a friend, easier to separate from reality and to snap out of it when they call cut. It'd be less daunting if that was the case. But when it's done with someone who you love off screen, a person who you can't ever imagine a world without, to get your mind to a place where you'd have to picture losing them, then it gets even trickier, much, much harder.

Couples don't usually do movies together that often, it can become unprofessional as some would say, but that wasn't the case with you and Tom. Both of you have been praised so many times with your individual works as you two can stand alone and carry a role with nothing but award winning performances. But whenever you two share a screen together, then it's an even bigger force to be reckoned with.

It's always a director's dream to work with you individually and as a pair. You were a match made in heaven off and on screen, the one-take-wonder duo. You two just bounce off each other so well no matter the roles you play, may it be enemies, acquaintances, lovers, past lovers, co-workers, and so on. You two share a look and it all clicks, then everything just falls into place.

You two get it done right away in the right way.

You love working with Tom, love seeing him do his thing in the flesh and you enjoy watching all the breathtaking and raw performance he gives. Plus, you get to spend time with your man, a gift with how conflicting your schedules can get sometimes. Not to mention, you get to do what you love together, a fun time on set as you make the most out of it while staying at the top of your game, be each other's cheerleader while maintaining proper professionalism.

But when it's heavy and emotional scenes like this upcoming one, you do find yourself wishing that it wasn't with him.

"How do I look? Still gorgeous I hope," Tom joked the moment you entered the set, posing over dramatically with one hand on his head, the other on his jutted out hip and a duck face to match, sporting his dirt—with specks of blood—covered and torn outfit. What he wore was a white shirt, black pants, black boots and a gray coat combo. While you on the other hand, wore dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, a gray zip up hoodie that was fully open and a black leather jacket over it.

On a normal day, his silliness would've made you roll your eyes with a laugh, but today, it didn't even manage to make you crack a smile. In fact, a frown made its way onto your lips at the sight of him all dirtied up, a purple bruise under his left eye, a couple gashes on his cheek and a cut on his bottom lip to complete his beat-up look.

"Stop trying to ruin my Zen," you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest with a pout on your lips. It was already dark inside your mind, emotions at the ready for when they call action. And seeing him be his dorky self, trying his best to make you laugh, just being the sweet boy who owns your heart, it wasn't at all helpful in a sense that with what's coming, it makes you think what life would be like if those adorable traits of his would become a memo—

"I'm not," Tom chuckled softly as he slowly made his way over to you. Once he reached a close proximity, his warm palm found its way to rest on your cheek. His touch was gentle, thumb caressing your skin comfortingly, a loving smile making its way onto his lip as he kept his gaze steady on your troubled face. "Just making sure you don't get too into your head, darling."

Tom's eyes held nothing but utter concern because he knows you like the back of his hand, knows how you work. With actors, it's always taxing mentally and emotionally when it comes to scenes like this, but with you, there's an added weight. Because, one, you always go that extra mile, to dig much deeper into your thoughts, to make your brain work harder at channeling emotions on command and in a quick switch. That's what made you known to be such an incredible actress, pure talent mixed with hard work of course.

And two, you were doing the scene with him, your real life lover. For you to see his face and watch him slowly wither away, Tom can't even stomach the thought of what you could possibly be feeling, what kind of thoughts were swimming inside your head. He can't even begin to imagine if it was the other way around. He absolutely admires your strength for holding it together because if it was him, he would've already been balling before he could even get out of his trailer.

With that said, Tom was worried to the bone. It always pains him to see the struggle you go through to get your mind there. He hates seeing you in a state that wasn't pure happiness, even if it was all acting.

"It's really hard not to," you whispered, flashing him a small smile as you leaned into his touch. Tom's heart broke at the soft shake in your voice, a sigh coming out of his lips as he moved closer to press it against your forehead. His strong arms found their way around your form to give you the warmest hug he can muster without getting all the dirt and the little bit of fake blood he had on him, on you.

"I know, angel, I know," he whispered against your skin, giving your waist a gentle and loving squeeze that made you close your eyes with a shaky breath.

Tom has had a fair share of tough, emotional scenes, of course he understood. Some of them were even done with you, though none were as tragic and heavy as to what lies ahead.

He knows how hard it is to not let those dark thoughts cloud most of your mind. He's been guilty of failing at it a couple of times. Some scenes just affected him in real life before he could stop it. Tom so badly didn't want you to experience the same. He doesn't want you to go far too deep for the sake of your mental state, especially with how much worse this scene is going to be compared to previous stuff you've done. But there's not much he can do other than to be there for you to help you get through it and to make sure to snap you out of it before it gets way out of hand.

"You two ready to go?" Jessica, the director, interrupted with a sympathetic smile. You unwillingly broke away from Tom's embrace to give her a small nod.

"Don't think I'll ever be ready but let's get this over and done with," you breathed out. She watched the two of you for a moment, the gloominess in the atmosphere too obvious for anyone to miss. It's always like that with emotional scenes, the set catered to help the actors be in the zone, but it's a lot heavier this time around. When it's a real life couple, the difference is huge.

With a soft, understanding smile, she reached over to you and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Two more minutes and then we start." Jessica nodded at the both of you curtly. You and Tom flashed her grateful smiles to which she gladly returned.

Once she walked away, Tom's gaze landed back on you, slight dread and concern glowing in his eyes but a reassuring grin played on his lips. He was trying his best to stay calm about it, even though he wasn't looking forward to it as well. He just didn't want to add more to your already worrying mind by looking too frantic with his concern.

"Come here and give me one last kiss."

"Don't say it like that," you groaned, squeezing your eyes shut as his choice of words weren't exactly the best.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, darling," Tom rushed once he realized how it sounded like, rubbing your arms comfortingly and giving it a gentle squeeze, silently urging you to look at him. Once you opened your eyes and met his gaze again, he tilted his head to the side with an adorable pout. "Can I have a kiss? Pwetty please?"

You shook your head at your man with a sigh, the corners of your lips lifting just a little as you met him halfway for a short but sweet, loving kiss.

"You've got this, okay?" he whispered once you pulled away, his breath hot against your lips as the tip of his nose nudged yours tenderly. You flashed him a small yet thankful smile, nodding in response before leaning close again to give him a quick peck.

"Places you two!" Jessica called out.

Tom's hands found yours, his fingers delicate as he lifted them up to his lips, a kiss on each of your knuckles and another reassuring squeeze before he lets you go.

You treaded your way towards your first marker, Tom's just a couple feet behind you. You looked over your shoulder in hopes to find his eyes before everything starts, a wash of relief coating your body once you saw that it was already set on you. You two shared a look, Tom flashing you one of his many charming grins—one that you adore so much—in reassurance, throwing in a thumbs up as he put his right foot forward. You did just the same, only breaking his gaze when you felt someone tap you on the shoulder.

You turned to one of the crew who handed you a Glock filled with blanks, a soft thanks escaping your lips followed by a deep intake of breath. You closed your eyes before exhaling slowly, clenching and unclenching your fist around the gun as you slowly slipped into character.

The two of you were undercover agents, partners turned recent lovers to be specific. The start of the scene was that you've just managed to get Tom out from his unfortunate capture, the abandoned warehouse where he was kept and you just escaped from, situated behind. You've managed to take out all the guys in the warehouse together but you have no idea if someone had called in backup so it was needed and safer to get as far away from the place as soon as possible. Hence why you two are going to be running from point A to B. But once you reach point B, then the scene happens.

"Ready and action!"

You took on a sprint, chest heaving as you kept looking back to make sure Tom was following. He was running just loosely behind you, a slight limp in his movements given that he isn't in the best of conditions due to the kidnapping.

"Come on!" You slowed down a little to wait for him, offering out a hand for him to take. He was so close to reaching it when his gaze shifted from your hand to somewhere behind you, eyes widening at the sight.

"Look out!" Tom exclaimed, hand quick to grab your outstretched one to pull you into his body. Both his arms wrapped around you tightly as he turned around in one swift motion so that your places were now switched. Then you heard five deafening gun shots, Tom's body jerking the same number of times before he slowly leaned forwards, his body getting heavier as his weight slowly rested more on you.

"No!" you shrieked, one hand wrapping around his torso as you lifted the other one hurriedly to aim your gun at the armed person behind him, pulling the trigger a couple of times to let loose of the blanks. You heard a thud next, an indication that the person has been taken care of.

Tom's whole body slumped, you struggling to hold his weight as he gradually slipped from your grasp, your heart beating rapidly against your chest when you felt something damp coat your fingers that were rested on his back. Your gaze landed on his face with wide eyes, calling out his character's name a few times as you tried your best to let him down on the pavement as gently as you can manage.

Tears welled up in your orbs, your throat closing up as you kneeled beside his body, anxiously checking to see what was wrong even though you already knew that everything was wrong. You took off your jacket hurriedly, bunching it up and placing it under his head for support. A sharp pain squeezed at your heart at the sight of him struggling to breathe, coughing out blood while he willed his eyes to stay open, his white shirt slowly turning crimson.

"No, no, no," you croaked, letting go of the gun to cup his face, fingers trembling as you tried to keep his head steady. Frantically, you reached into your pocket with your free, blood-covered, shaking hand, taking out the phone and hastily dialed zero to send out a distress signal.

Tom lets out a groan laced with pain as his eyes scanned your face, muttering out your character's name to get your attention, voice barely audible.

"Yeah, I'm here, I'm right here," you whispered as you met his brown orbs, a soft smile on your lips as you dropped the phone so you can tend to him with both hands. You brushed away the hair that managed to stick on his sweat-littered forehead, his blood from your hand tainting his crown, not the best of sights to see.

Tom's eyes started to gloss up as he kept letting out ragged breaths. You let out a broken sob as the heartrending sound filled up your ears, squeezing agonizingly at each vein in your heart. "S-Stay with me, please," you stammered, his skin turning a bit colder against your warm palm, your breathing turning shallow as you struggled to keep your own self together.

"Help! Please help!" you wailed, looking around the empty place frantically before your gaze landed back on the man in your arms, life slowly slipping from his grasp. "You're going to be okay," you repeated over and over, unsure if the words were said to reassure him or yourself.

The feeling of your jeans getting wet at the knees from the blood that pooled on the ground made you let out a broken cry of despair, eyes scanning his body for only a moment, the sight of red making you want to hurl. And you were too scared to look away from his eyes for far too long, scared that things will take a drastic turn in a split second.

Slowly, weakly, Tom lifted a hand up to cup your damp cheek, thumb caressing your skin as a small, tired smile made its way onto his lips. This made you cry even harder, your nimble fingers curling around his wrist, turning your head slightly for a second to give his palm a warm kiss.

"R-Remember when I-I said I'd t-take a bullet for y-you?" he sputtered, though the smile on his lips was still there, charming as always, his thumb capturing the tear that escaped your eye before it could have the chance to land on your skin.

You bit your bottom lip to suppress a whimper, shaking your head at his ability to make light of the situation. You let out a shaky breath. "I do, I remember. To prove how much I mean to you even when it's not necessary."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, running his thumb over your cheek, a few tears escaping his eyes as he scanned your gorgeous face distorted in utter distress, as he stared at the pain that glowed inside your beautiful orbs.

"N-No, there's nothing to apologize," you breathed out, your thumb grazing the apples of his cheeks as you stared right into those brown eyes you've grown to adore and more. "You saved me," you sobbed, flashing him a small smile laced with gratitude. "You saved me."

Tom nodded slowly with a hum, eyes staring right back at yours with the utmost adoration coating them, although in a few short seconds, it was quick to be replaced by worry. "You n-need to g-go," he hissed in pain, his hand grabbing your wrist to try and pry you away from him. It still wasn't safe to stay and he wanted nothing more than for you to be as far from harm, well and alive.

"No! I'm not leaving you here," you protested, a sob tied at the end of your sentence as you took his hand and placed it back on your cheek. And he held it there, channeling all the strength he had left for him to feel your skin for a couple moments more. "Help is on the way just, s-stay with me," you croaked.

Tom's breathing started to turn labored, his head falling back gradually as there was not much strength left for him to keep it still. "Hey! h-hey, look at me," you rushed, command in your tone as you went to hold his face with both hands, keeping his head steady only to see that his eyes were slowly fluttering close. "Keep those eyes open! Keep those eyes open," you said through gritted teeth, your man listening to your voice that was filled with desperation as he met your gaze again.

"P-Promise me—" Tom interrupted himself with a cough of blood, letting out a soft groan before his eyes were back on yours. "Promise me, y-you'll find h-happiness."

"N-no, don't say that, you're going to be okay." You shook your head desperately with a whimper.

"Promise me," he repeated, voice firmer this time.

Your bottom lip trembled. "I promise, just h-hold on, p-please," you choked. "Somebody! Please h-help! Please!" you yelled at the top of your lungs, urgently looking towards nothing, a sob following suit as your voice broke, hope slowly leaving you.

"H-hey, sweetheart, l-look at me," Tom called out as he tapped your cheek weakly. A whimper escaped your lips as you met his gaze once again, the emotion that shined in them so clear as day. He knows that it was time, and the certain look he was giving you made you understood. Although, you still shook your head in pure denial, muttering protests after protests under your breath as you gave his hand that rested on your cheek a tight squeeze while you kept the other steady on his face, horrified to let go even for a split second for he might be gone when you do.

"I love you," Tom breathed out, voice soft but the truth loud and clear. It was the first time he had uttered those three words, and you so wished it was done in a much, much more different circumstance. You leaned down to swiftly capture his lips in a bitter-sweet kiss, a sigh coming out of him only to be mirrored by a soft cry from you.

"I love you too, oh so much," you whispered to no one but him and him only, pulling away to meet his eyes, a certain glow now coating them at the sound of those lovely words filling up his ears. A satisfied smile made its way onto Tom's lips, his eyes locked with yours, glowing with utmost love.

But as Tom took in one deep, sharp breath, you held yours, only letting it out in a form of an excruciating sob once he completely stilled in your arms. His hand slowly slipped away from your face until it fell limp on his side, his chest laying flat, no more sign of any movement.

"No, no, no," you cried, tapping his cheek to get him to move again but to no avail. You shook your head frantically, your tears blurring your vision some more, heart in your throat as the droplets coated his face at a faster pace. "No! P-Please!" you screamed, cupping his face with trembling hands, letting go for a moment to hold his shoulder, shaking him harder in utter anguish. "C-Come back! P-Please! Come back to m-me." Your fingers found its way back to rest on his cheeks as you choked in short breaths, his eyes wide open but already dimmed, those bright, brown beautiful eyes somewhat turned gray.

"Don't leave me please," You croaked out, voice now hoarse from all the crying you've done. "I can't live without you. Please, come back to me," you whispered one last time, taking a few seconds more to stare at his face, looking at him as a flicker of hope coated your eyes for a split second before it completely died out. You dropped your head onto his chest and let out deep, broken sobs, choking in sharp breaths in between each sound that only made things more heart wrenching to hear.

It was so hard for Tom to keep his own tears at bay, a stinging, horrible feeling gripping at his chest as you cried your heart out. To watch the absolute hurt across your beautiful features, the desperation on trying to "bring him back" was too much of a painful sight to see. If he had a choice he would've opted on closing his eyes, but Jessica had specific instructions to keep them open, to make it more realistic, more effective in a sense that it would pull at the viewer's heartstrings a bit more.

But my God it was so hard to watch you be in so much pain and lay completely still, the heartbreaking sound of your sobs, the way you begged, it was absolute torture, especially when he can't do anything about it just yet. And the way your touch was frantic, desperate, it was hurting his heart harshly, agonizingly and he so badly wanted it to end because he can't take any more of just watching you go through so much pain. But most especially, he wanted it to end for your sake.

At the sound of your own cries, lungs burning with your head pounding, ears ringing, chest too tight and filled with utmost pain, you didn't even notice Jessica call out cut. The moment you knew it was all done was when you felt strong arms wrapping around your form that was still shaking with sobs.

"Hey, hey it's okay, it's over darling," Tom rushed as he sat up quickly, prying you away gently so you could meet his eyes. It broke his heart to pieces when he saw the hurt that still coated your orbs, though he was glad to see the relief slowly seeping back in once you blinked away the tears. You finally snapped out of it once you were able to take a good look at him, your bottom lip trembling as you tilted your head to the side, as if to examine if he was actually real. "I'm okay, see?" Tom hummed, voice gentle as he took both your hands and placed one on each of his cheeks, his skin warm against your touch. "I'm here my love."

All you could do was nod with a breath of relief, body falling forwards so you could sink into his arms, not a care in the world about the fake blood that drenched him. You just needed to be close to him.

Tom sighed as he pulled you tighter in his embrace, pressing his warm lip against your crown in the process. "Breath my darling angel, it's over," he murmured, followed by sweet nothings as his hand ran up and down your back comfortingly, your breathing slowly growing calmer at the tender sound of his voice.

You stayed like that on the ground for a minute, Tom only pulling away slightly when he heard footsteps approaching. "Do we need another take?" he asked dreadfully as he saw Jessica make her way over. He desperately didn't want you to go through that all again but it was out of his control. And if another take was needed, he's going to have to ask for an hour break, for your sake.

You lifted your head up just in time to see Jessica shake her head no, gesturing towards the both of you as satisfaction coated her face. "It's already the best for me. I mean, they call you two the one-take-wonder duo for a reason. And I've got tears in the crews' eyes to further prove my point." With a knowing look, she added, "But you two can watch it back if you like."

Tom turned to you, hand going up to wipe the couple more tears that littered your skin, touch sweet and reassuring. "Do you want to?" he asked softly.

You gave out a small nod. "Yeah, maybe I can do things better," you sniffled.

Tom scoffed loudly at that, gawking at you with wide eyes, taking full offence of your own words for you. "Are you kidding me? That was already amazing," he stressed. "Quit being so overly critical of yourself, darling," he added, taking both your hands in his comfortingly.

"Thank you bubba," you whispered, looking at him with an adorable pout, eyes glowing with the utmost gratitude that Tom felt his heart melt ten times over, especially with the nickname.

He flashed you a bright smile. "Now, let's get you off this wet floor." And that he did as he helped you up, pulling you in for another warm hug once you've got your feet under you.

Crew members quickly crowded you both as they helped you out of the now wet hoodie and coat, giving you each some water and two big, black warm jackets to compensate for the cold. You and Tom then made your way over to the director's chair right after.

You now stood beside Tom in front of the monitor as they started to play the clip back. Both your arms were fully wrapped around him, cheek pressed up against his chest as he slung his arm over your shoulder. His heart was turning soft at how adorable you were being, although he felt a sense of worry as well, since it seemed like you were scared to be too far away from him.

Even when they were fussing around the two of you, he saw how you kept giving him a glance, like you were scared to let him out of your sight. And once they were done, you were quick to grab his hand, as if you didn't want to feel the absence of his touch for far too long. So, he made sure to keep you as close as he can, giving you random kisses and squeezes in comfort from time to time, to reassure your mind that he was, in fact, here.

"Whew, look at you go," Tom praised, staring in pure awe at the monitor as he rewatched your performance, giving your arm a loving squeeze with a kiss on the forehead to match. "You make me look so talentless, love."

"Shut up," you said in pure disagreement given that his performance was breathtaking just as always. He did make things more real, made it hurt even more the way he portrayed dying so well. Your own performance improved because of his. As said in the beginning, you two just bounce off each other so well.

You peeked at the monitor for only short moments as you can't bear to watch it back fully, snuggling into him every once in a while with your eyes fluttering close. Tom was quick to notice this, giving you another peck on the forehead to remind you that it was okay, that things were alright. You hummed at his sweet gesture, squeezing his torso lovingly in return.

"Damn," Tom gushed once the clip ended, wiping away the stray tear that slipped with the back of his hand before turning to you with nothing but utter pride in his eyes. "And the Oscar goes to..."

"Stop," you whined, burying your face on his chest shyly, prompting a hearty chuckle from him.

"One-take-wonder duo I tell you," Jessica admired, giving you both claps on the back before she lifted up her megaphone. "That's a wrap everyone!"

Loud cheers and applause filled the air, Tom giving you a tight, warm hug as you both slowly relaxed in each other's embrace, glad that the day was almost over. You then made your way to where your teams were sat. Both of you were quick to notice how most of them were smiling proudly at the two of you with a bit of shine in their eyes.

"Harry," Tom gasped as soon as his brother came into view, Harry's face red with a faint sniffle coming out of him. "Were you crying?"

"No," the young lad grumbled, turning away in hopes to hide the way he wiped his face but still failing miserably.

"Oh Harry come here," Tom lets go of you for a moment to tackle his brother in a bear hug, making smooching noises as the older sibling tried to give the other a kiss on the cheek, Harry squirming like his life depended on it. You couldn't help the soft laugh from escaping your lips at the sight of the two boys, Tom's head perking up at the sound, a bit of relief coating his features as he tilted his head at you with a smile of his own.

"Get off you div," Harry groaned, pushing Tom away playfully, the older lad laughing before pulling away from him. "It's not my fault you two made it look so real. I genuinely thought Tom died for a second."

"Aw, thanks bro—"

"Correction, Y/N made it so real. The moment you started crying," Harry paused, blowing out his cheeks with a shake of his head, turning to you with both hands up in surrender. "I went."

"Thank you Harry." You shot the young lad a tired but grateful smile, giving him a quick but lovely hug.

"I'll let that pass for now because I do agree," Tom said, shooting his brother a playful glare before he made his way back to you, arms taking home around your waist as he looked at you adoringly. "You were incredible my love."

You smiled at him, leaning closer so you could give him a sweet kiss, just to show more of your gratitude. Tom hummed in pure satisfaction against your lips, giving your waist a tender squeeze before pulling away.

"Let's wrap up the day shall we?"

With that, the two of you made your way over to the wardrobe trailers to get out of the dirty work clothes and into comfier ones. Once out of the trailer, you now wore a pair of black leggings and Tom's pink hoodie to which he insisted on letting you wear over your tank top, given that it was starting to get colder out. He, on the other hand, wore his black sweatpants and a tight maroon t-shirt, handsome as ever but the make up on his face—the bruises, cuts, fake blood—were a bit of a distraction, feeding more thoughts to your still troubled mind.

"Come here, love." Tom beckoned you over once he noticed how you stared at him with a certain look in your eyes and a matching frown. His warm hands found yours, pulling you closer to him so he can give you loving kisses all over your face, all sloppy, loud and sweet. He only stopped when he was satisfied with the little giggles that escaped your lips. "Stop thinking too much, darling."

You flashed him a smile, nodding to say that you understood. "Are you not cold?" you asked in concern, slight guilt swimming in your orbs given that you somewhat stole his hoodie. Tom chuckled with a shake of his head, slinging his arm over your shoulder to pull you closer to his side as you then made your way to the make-up trailers.

"As long you're here beside me? My human heater? Never."

***

It was finally time to get back to the hotel.

You and Tom sat at the very back of the van, your head rested on his shoulder while his head rested atop of yours. You've been nothing but silent the whole ride, Tom not pestering you much because he knows you were drained to the bone. He just gave you occasional squeezes on the thigh, his fingers sometimes drumming some random beat just to distract you a little for what was going on inside your mind.

The moment your shared hotel room door closed, lock clicking in the process, Tom dropped your bags on the floor with the loudest sigh of relief.

"Shower together?" Tom offered with a wriggle of his brows, jokingly of course as there was no malice in his intent. You both were too tired for it, a simple shower would suffice.

A sweet smile made its way onto your lips as you nodded, taking up on his offer.

Tom moved over to you to give you a short kiss, mumbling a 'wait here' against your lips before pulling away and disappearing into the bathroom. He came back out not long after sporting nothing but his black boxers, beckoning you over with an open palm to which you gladly took. Hot steam met your skin as you stepped inside the en suite, Tom stopping by the sink as he turned to face you.

"Arms up," he said, your brows furrowing in confusion but you did as told anyway. Once you have both hands in the air, Tom took hold of the hem of your—his—hoodie and lifted it up your body, a pout making its way onto your lips once it was off. He gave your jutted out lip a peck, chuckling at the slight confusion on your face before he went to take your tank top off next.

"I'm not a baby anymore Tom. And I didn't lose any limbs," you pointed out with a soft giggle, top-half now naked in front of him

"Says who? As far as I know, you're still my baby." He shrugged, hooking his fingers on the hem of your leggings and pulling them down—along with your underwear—until he was squatted on the floor. He tapped your thigh lightly, silently telling you to lift each leg up one by one so he can take off the fabric fully. Now, you were left completely bare for him. You looked down at your man and shot him a pointed look, Tom meeting your gaze through his eyelashes as he lets out a sweet chuckle.

"Just let me take care of you love, you've had a long day," he hummed, giving each of your thighs a chaste kiss before he stood back up to his full height. He just wanted to let other things occupy your mind instead, didn't want you to sit too long and think about the scene you just did. Plus, he really did want to just take care of you, to show you the utmost love and affection as you deserve nothing but all and more, especially after today.

Another sweet kiss landed on your lips before he got rid of his boxers next, taking your hand soon after as he guided you inside the glass shower box, pulling you right under the hot water. And take care of you was exactly what he did as he helped you wash up as well. You've told him a couple of times how he was being a bit much, especially when he stole the loofa off your hands to do it himself, shampooed and conditioned your hair. But he simply repeated the same thing over and over:

"Just let me take care of you."

A few more giggles and chuckles with a couple sprinkles of making-out later, you two got out of the shower and dried up. Then after that, Tom gave you one of his shirts to wear—paired with only your panties—and helped you blow dry your hair so you could take a quick nap, an easy breezy task for him since it was not the first time. He's done it before on various occasions.

Once you were soundlessly asleep—after a few more kisses from him as he tucked you in because yes, your boyfriend is extra—Tom took it upon himself to order in some food, that way you'd have something to eat when you wake up, knowing that you probably wouldn't want to go anywhere to have a meal. He sent Harry a text in the process saying that the two of you would be staying in for the night in case the team wanted to go out for dinner.

In his gray sweats and white t-shirt, Tom sat down on the couch right by the window near your side of the bed, pulling out his computer to get a bit of work done while he waits. He didn't want to risk waking you up by slipping in beside you, didn't want to disturb your blissful sleep.

He kept giving you glances from time to time, just to check up on you, his heart growing bigger whenever he does so. Warmth just spreads across his chest each time he sees your beautiful face with nothing but slumber and peace coating your features.

The food arrived about thirty minutes later, Tom setting his laptop down to open the door, room service strolling in with fresh and hot food. He closed the door after he tipped the guy generously, walking over to the table to take some chips off the plate, humming at the wonderful taste.

Opting on letting you sleep for a couple minutes more, Tom went back over to the couch. But just as he was about to sit back down, he heard you let out a troubled groan in your sleep. Surely enough when his gaze landed on you, your face was now contorted in pure distress, brows knitted together as you shifted on the bed, one hand desperately clinging on the pillow while the other on the white sheets.

"Tom!" you yelped and bolted straight up, eyes frantic and chest heaving as you looked around the room for him.

"Hey! Hey." Tom was by your side in an instant, the bed dipping as he sat down, his hands cupping your face gently to make you look at him straight in the eyes. "Darling, hi, I'm here," he whispered with a sweet smile, heart aching at the sight of fear and the fresh sets of tears that now coated your eyes.

Your bottom lip trembled as you stared at him for a couple seconds, moving closer towards him so you could bury yourself in his arms. "I'm sorry," you mumbled against his chest, both your arms wrapping around his torso as you let out uneven, shaky breaths.

"Nothing to apologise for angel. It was just a nightmare," he murmured, rubbing your back sweetly as he swayed you side to side. "It's okay, you're okay." He held you like that for as long as you needed, whispering sweet nothings into your ear in hopes that it'll help you calm down. Tom only loosened his hold around when you softly pulled away, breathing now calmer, sniffling close to none.

"Want to watch a movie while we eat? The chips are really good," he said, both hands now holding your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks tenderly as he wiped away the little tears that sat on your skin. "Spider-Man: Far From Home so we can nitpick and criticize my performance together?" he added jokingly, earning a soft giggle from you as you nodded.

With half of the food gone, you were well into fifteen minutes of the movie. There were a couple of pauses done of course. Now you were snuggled up cozily beside him, your head on his chest as he rested his back against the stacked pillows. He had one arm over your shoulder to keep you close, fingers grazing up and down your arm soothingly while his eyes were set on the screen in front, his warmth comforting you in more ways than one.

The whole pole sequence in Venice was when he felt you start to shift in his arms, a shaky breath coming out of you when you saw him hit that wall as he got drenched in water. And then you spoke,

"Tom, what if—"

"Stop it right now and don't even finish your sentence," he scolded, already knowing where you were going with this. You pulled away from his embrace and sat up straighter just so you could have a full look at him, a deep frown already on your lips.

"You do your own stunts," was all that you said, but Tom already knew what you meant by it, didn't need you to explain further.

With a sigh, he sat up as well, touch tender as he ran it up and down your arms. "Darling, I am being careful with the stunts, you know that. And when it's something too dangerous, you also know that I refuse to do it," he said. "Plus, you're right there to stop me when I'm pushing myself too hard. You're looking out for me too, my love."

Even though you gave him a nod, Tom saw how that still didn't ease your mind, saw it clear in your eyes. He couldn't blame you either knowing how that scene made you think the worse of thoughts. He understood you completely, knowing that if the roles were switched, he would be behaving just the same if not much worse with how overprotective he is of you. He'd probably wrap you in a bubble to be honest, to make sure you're as far away from harm as possible and that nothing was going to happen to you.

"Come here," he hummed, taking your hands and pulling you close until you were straddling his lap, giving your fingers warm kisses before he placed them, flat against his cheeks. Tom's warm palms found their way under his shirt that you wore, settling his hands right on your waist, his thumb running over the swell of your belly fondly, skin touching skin, makes you feel much closer to him.

Tom gaped up at you with nothing but absolute love in his eyes, a glow that's made your heart grow warmer, a look that's added more sincerity to his words. "Nothing's going to happen to me okay? You're going to be stuck with this very handsome face for a long, long time."

You giggled at that, dipping your head so you could capture his lips in a kiss filled with the rawest of emotions from gratitude, happiness, adoration, passion, love. Tom didn't need words for him to know that you were thankful for him, that you were so happy to have him in your life, he can already feel it. Your actions will always speak louder volumes, justifying all the emotions you needed to get across that simple words never could.

With a satisfied groan, Tom pulled you even closer, his hands snaking up your bare back, your shirt hiking up at his action. He felt up your warm skin deliberately, touch driven with passion as he nibbled on your bottom lip, wanting to taste more of you. You happily obliged with a soft moan, your fingers treading through his slightly damp curls as you welcomed him in. And Tom made his presence known through his touch, to remind you that he is here with you, that he will always be here, and that he is—

"Not going anywhere."

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[only-johnny-deppp]

“Whatever I’ve gone through, I’ve gone through. But, ultimately, this particular arena of my life has been so absurd...” 

 Johnny Depp’s NEW INTERVIEW!

Last saturday, August 14, The UK Times, released a new interview with Johnny for the Sunday Times section. It was realized sometime earlier this month, in London, probably on the same day he and Andrew Levitas were recording for the Q&A for the “Minamata” release in UK. This is Johnny’s first interview since the UK trials in London last year, and released three years after Johnny’s major interview for the British GQ Magazine. Here Johnny and Andrew Levitas speaks about “Minamata”, his future as actor and a thing or two about his personal life, although he cannot talk about the court case.

For those who couldn’t read yet, here is the FULL interview:  Enjoy.

***

“I’M BEING BOYCOTTED BY HOLLYWOOD”

Johnny Depp has a new film out this week. In the opening scene his character, the real-life photographer W Eugene Smith, says, “I’m done. I’m tired. My body is older than I am. I’m always in goddam pain. I can’t trust my f***ing dick any more. Constantly in a foul mood. Even the drugs bore me.”

I ask Depp if Smith’s despair resonated with him. Depp stops. Rocks back and forth. “That’s interesting,” he replies with painful hesitation.

“I didn’t approach playing Smith in that way… Although you bring your toolbox to work and use what is available. Having experienced...” He stops again. Depp takes any questions that might refer to his calamitous libel case last year slowly, in a mumbly, croaking drawl. “A surreal five years…”

In the film Smith needs to revive his reputation. In real life Depp’s task is even more daunting. Thanks to the judgment, everyone can call him a “wife-beater”. Now he must convince a Hollywood still convulsed by #MeToo that he’s not toxic — and that any attempt to rebuild his career is a risk worth taking. This is Depp’s first interview since the case.

We are speaking over Zoom, Depp in his London home, in front of a gold-framed painting. The 58-year-old is wearing a lot of clothes. Earrings. Floppy hat. Sunglasses. Bandana. Scarf. Checked shirt over a T-shirt with an indiscernible slogan. If you saw him on the Tube*, you might think he was off to work at the London Dungeon*, to play most of the characters.

PS. For those who are not familiar with British words: * Tube = British slang for London Underground, the subway trains. * London Dungeon = is a walk-through experience that recreates scenes from London's scary history in a mixture of live actors, special effects and rides.

Depp resumes, talking in broken sentences about the new film, Minamata, in which Smith, via Life magazine, exposes the brutal mercury poisoning of Japanese villagers in the early 1970s.

“How do we do this?” he asks rhetorically, meaning how to speak about the elephant in the Zoom. “Well, there’s no way one can’t recognise the absurdity of the mathematics.” He grins. “If you know what I mean?” No. “Absurdity of media mathematics.” He talks in riddles. “Whatever I’ve gone through, I’ve gone through. But, ultimately, this particular arena of my life has been so absurd...”

He trails off again. He is holding a big brown roll-up of some sort. “What the people in Minamata dealt with? People who suffered with Covid? A lot of people lost lives. Children sick...Ill. Ultimately, in answer to your question? Yeah, you use what you’ve got. But what I’ve been through? That’s like getting scratched by a kitten. Comparatively.”

Last July, I went to the High Court in London to watch Depp on another screen — a video from the socially distanced court where the Hollywood star was losing a libel action against The Sun after it called him a “wife-beater”. It was the grottiest showbiz trial of the century. There were photos of the actor passed out in a foetal slump, socks on show. One lengthy exchange involved faeces. Another urination, inside or outside a house, after a violent night with his ex-wife Amber Heard.

This had all been going on for a while. In 2016 Heard applied for a temporary restraining order against him. The couple had long endured a narcotic, booze-filled, childish relationship, but that does not matter — 12 incidents levelled against Depp were proved, said the judge, and abuse is abuse, regardless of how badly they both behaved. Depp wanted to appeal, but the court said no. Next April in the US he has a $50 million defamation case against Heard relating to an opinion piece she wrote about being the victim of domestic abuse. It may be his last roll of the dice.

In the 1990s Depp was a sensitive heart-throb. Cooler than DiCaprio, edgier than Pitt. In this past year he has been stripped of his status and dignity. On day three of the trial Sasha Wass QC, representing The Sun, asked Depp about daubing a penis on a painting. He could not remember. “That would be quite a big thing, painting a penis on a picture?”  Wass asked. “Quite a big thing?” Depp asked.

It was a well-delivered line, but Depp was on show. Performing. Now he is more timid, less lucid. His people say he cannot talk about the court case given the looming US trial, yet it hangs over everything. The director of Minamata, Andrew Levitas, is also on our call — as a pub trivia aside, Levitas is married to the Welsh singer Katherine Jenkins.

The two men clearly get on. “With regards to journalism, it was important for us to put across in the film the power of truth,” Levitas says. Depp nods. “The responsibility of journalists to look after citizens of the world. [Our film] coincided with the moment important publications had to put Raquel Welch on a cover to get enough eyeballs to sell enough ads in order to put something meaningful inside. A result of that is clickbait — it’s destroying the purpose of journalism,” Levitas continues.

“You said it beautifully,” says Depp, one of the world’s most pinned-up men, who built a career on magazine covers. “I couldn’t say it better than that.”

Last month Levitas wrote to MGM, which bought Minamata for the US market but decided not to release it. He accused MGM of being concerned that “the personal issues of an actor in the film could reflect negatively upon them”. Then the letter got really strong. Levitas accused MGM of failing in its “moral obligation” to release the film and said it needed to explain to the victims “why you think an actor’s personal life is more important than their dead children”. He then attached Smith’s photos of ghastly deformities that shocked the world 50 years ago.

“It’s important that the movie gets seen and supported,” Levitas says. “And if I get an inkling it’s not going to be, it’s my responsibility to say so. Where it goes from there? I don’t know. But we have responsibility to these victims . . .”

You can see why he’s passionate. The film is good. MGM bought the film because it is good. Depp is good too. He disappears into the role, far from his more recent pantomime parts. It’s being released worldwide, just not in the actor’s homeland.

Depp, who also produced the film, interrupts. “We looked these people in the eyeballs and promised we would not be exploitative. That the film would be respectful. I believe that we’ve kept our end of the bargain, but those who came in later should also maintain theirs.”

“Some films touch people,” he adds. “And this affects those in Minamata and people who experience similar things. And for anything…” He pauses, as he does. “For Hollywood’s boycott of, erm, me? One man, one actor in an unpleasant and messy situation, over the last number of years?” He trails off. “But, you know, I’m moving towards where I need to go to make all that…” Again, he trails off. “To bring things to light.”

The fact, as I think Depp knows, is that for his career, the court that matters is not one of law, but public opinion. On social media, where a lot of minds are made up, Depp’s good reputation will always outweigh the bad, thanks to his frequently blinkered fans.

Outside the High Court, as Heard arrived, I saw Natasha, 30, yell: “Get hit by a truck, Amber!” She is extreme, but the persistent way his fans demand that others think their idol is a saint shows a career revival will happen. After all, most filmgoers do not follow his private life at all. To them, he is Jack Sparrow, Edward Scissorhands. To them, he is a star — and a star can take an awful lot of heat before it burns out.

“They have always been my employers,” Depp says of his fans. “They are all our employers. They buy tickets, merchandise. They made all of those studios rich, but they forgot that a long time ago. I certainly haven’t. I’m proud of these people, because of what they are trying to say, which is the truth. The truth they’re trying to get out since it doesn’t in more mainstream publications. It’s a long road that sometimes gets clunky. Sometimes just plain stupid. But they stayed on the ride with me and it’s for them I will fight. Always, to the end. Whatever it may be.”

Depp will talk like this for ever — about his “truth”. Minamata is the last film Depp has listed on the industry site IMDb, where actors usually have half a dozen in development. So, yes, fans of the actor can see Depp in a new role now — it is a return, but is it a relaunch? The film was finished in 2019, way before last year’s court case. Is that it? His last film? He thinks and looks off to his bookshelves, at biographies of Betjeman and Olivier.

“Er...no,” he says, eventually. “No. No. Actually, I look forward to the next few films I make to be my first films, in a way. Because once you’ve...Well, look. The way they wrote it in The Wizard of Oz is that when you see behind the curtain, it’s not him. When you see behind the curtain, there’s a whole lot of motherf***ers squished into one spot. All praying that you don’t look at them. And notice them.”

I would ask him to explain, but I am not sure he is an explainer. Watch this space, I guess, but he is already taking a first step back. After we speak, it is announced Depp is getting the coveted Donostia award at the San Sebastian Film Festival next month. Some people are just too famous to fail.

~ Interview by Jonathan Dean, in London, for The Times UK (released on August 14, 2021)