#I just felt really bad energy being in the car w them
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Friday night I went to a Joe Hisaishi tribute orchestra concert.
The concert itself was really good. But the car ride w my lil sis, big bro, and her two church friends I did not enjoy. I'm glad I got to sit by myself than sit w her and her friends. My big bro said he wished he could sit by himself too lol.
#Ella life#I didn't take many pics but I don't want to post them bc I don't want to dox myself#love being in the car for over 2 hours w people talking and joking about homophobia extreme violence and sex#this is w a nearly 30 yr old man and end of teens to early 20's joking about sex and not using the right pronouns for their own sibling#also city driving SUCKS#esp on a friday night geez louise screw that#my lil sis tried to message at the start of the concert that there were some spare seats behind her group so I could sit w them#but I only saw it when my alarm went off and 30mins already into the concert#I don't think I would have taken her up on it anyway#I just felt really bad energy being in the car w them#and my lil sis said something disturbing about her husband's road rage and how he treats her and I straight up said 'that sounds sucky'#luckily my big bro and her male friend agreed and it was a lil uncomfortable but geez#I ended up crying when I got home bc I was just sick of being stuck in the car w all the awful homophobia disability and sex talk#I'm just so happy I have a great relationship and great partner
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'*•.¸♡ off-road ride ♡¸.•*'
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lee minho x fem!reader
a result of the poll win! (car sex w minho)
summary: you and minho are on your way to meet up with your friends, but get distracted along the way.
wc: 3k
warnings: MDNI! 18+, established relationship, dom!minho, brat!reader, a lot of teasing, fingering (f. rec), rough sex, spanking, safeword mentioned (not used), piv, unprotected sex, creampie, riding, choking, overstim, begging, (lmk if i missed any)
a/n: i've been realizing that the poll has been going in age order so far, so i might just release all of the fics in age order to keep the pattern going. also i loved writing this, hopefully next time i can write a fluffier minho smut!!
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The winding roads blurred past as Minho deftly steered the car, the engine's purr adding a soundtrack to your animated voice. Your friend's laughter was bubbling over and filling the car with cheerful energy as you spoke on the phone.
“Mmm, no, we should totally do that next weekend,” you were saying, still chuckling at a joke your friend had made. “I just think we should invite the whole group.”
Lee Know’s jaw tightened. He knew you had been out and about with your friends lately, and he didn’t want to be jealous, but... he was. It felt like you were paying more attention to everyone else lately than to him.
“We’re so close now,” you said, leaning over to Minho to point at the map. You had meticulously planned the route and confidently guided him whenever needed. “Maybe about fifteen minutes away, I'd say.”
“Great,” Minho replied, his voice low and warm, though his eyes betrayed a hint of irritation as he kept glancing at you.
“Hey, hold on, my phone’s going crazy.” You pulled the phone away from your ear, glancing down at the screen. Your eyes went wide, and you started giggling, turning back to look at Minho with a playful smile.
“What?” he asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Oh, it’s just my friend being ridiculous.”
“Mm. I can’t leave them hanging, then, right?”
“I guess not.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m still here. We’re so close now.”
“Are you?” your friend purred from the other end, causing you to laugh again.
“Okay, not that close.” You glanced over at Minho, smiling, before focusing on the road.
“Are you sure? Because I was thinking maybe you’d like to come over after the party…”
“Hmmm, and why is that?” You were grinning now, unable to help yourself.
“Well, there’s this guy that’s been flirting with me, and I don’t really like him that way, but I don’t know how to let him down. I was hoping you’d come over and help me out.”
“What’s your plan?” You bit your lip, glancing over at Minho, who was gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white.
“Well, if you’d be willing to kiss me for a while, that might get the message across.”
“You want me to kiss you?” You widened your eyes, Minho’s head snapping towards you, before quickly looking back at the road as if he were pretending he totally wasn’t listening.
You didn’t realize how bad it could sound out of context, and Minho’s frustration was evident.
“Haha, you know I was joking, girl. I’m just not good at confrontation, and I know you are. You know how to bite back at people.”
“I’m not so sure that’s what you meant, but if you need some help, then I’ll be happy to come over.”
“Awesome, thanks. So, I can’t wait to meet Lee Know. You talk about him all the time; he sounds really sweet.” Her tone was sweeter and more sincere.
Suddenly, you felt a warm hand gently land on your thigh, the touch sending a shiver down your spine as it traced teasing patterns on the exposed skin where your skirt had ridden up. Minho's touch was deliberate, and you could feel the heat radiating from his fingers as they traced teasing patterns on your skin.
You turned your head to stare at Minho, whose gaze was locked on the road ahead. His face was impassive, but there was a steely edge to his eyes that betrayed his annoyance.
“Um, yeah,” you managed, feeling Minho’s hand slip higher up your thigh. “He’s great.”
“What’s going on? You okay?” your friend asked, her concern evident in her voice as she picked up on your distracted tone.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, gasping quietly as Minho’s fingers gripped your inner thigh, his touch becoming more insistent.
You grabbed Lee Know’s misbehaving hand before it could go any further. His touch was electrifying, and despite your attempts to focus on the conversation, the heat of his fingers was impossible to ignore.
“Uh, I just... got distracted,” you stammered, trying to keep your voice steady. “We’re almost there, so maybe I should call you back later?”
“Sure, no problem,” your friend agreed, her tone tinged with concern. “Just let me know if you need anything.”
“Will do,” you replied, ending the call quickly. As soon as the phone disconnected, Minho’s hand withdrew, and he turned to you with a look of feigned innocence.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice deceptively casual as he focused on the road ahead.
“I could ask you the same thing,” you shot back, glaring at him but with a teasing glint in your eyes. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Minho said, his lips curling into a playful pout. “I guess I just didn’t like hearing my girlfriend sounding all flirty on the phone with someone else.”
You tried to hold back a laugh, your irritation melting into amusement. “Minho, she was joking with me.”
“Yeah, well,” Minho said, his tone softening as he glanced at you with a hint of vulnerability. “I just want your attention too.”
Your heart melted at his words. The way he looked at you, so earnest and a bit pouty, was impossible to resist.
You grabbed one of his hands, guiding it back to rest on your leg. You could see the way his breath caught in his throat as he realized what you were doing.
His fingers slowly inched up your skirt, brushing over your heated skin. You trembled, attempting to stay quiet as Minho's hands caressed your bare thighs, his touch sending sparks of electricity through your body.
"Baby," you murmured, "I can't have you driving off the road because you're distracted."
"I'm not distracted," Minho insisted, his fingers dancing along the edge of your panties. "I'm focused."
"Really?" You arched an eyebrow, glancing over at him.
"Mm-hmm." His fingers slipped beneath the lace of your panties, brushing against your sensitive flesh.
You gasped, grabbing his wrist to try and still his movements. "Minho," you warned, a slight tremor in your voice.
"What's wrong, baby? Didn't you want me to do this?" he asked, his voice dripping with mock innocence as he slid his finger along your slit.
"Min," you hissed, squeezing your thighs together. The friction of his fingers sent shivers of pleasure through your body, and you bit your lip to stifle a moan.
"That's right," he said. "Don't forget, you're mine."
"Yours," you gasped, arching against him as his finger flicked at your clit.
The sensation was almost too much, and you had to fight the urge to writhe in your seat.
"Good," Minho said, his voice rough with arousal as he pressed his finger deeper, sliding it inside you.
Your head fell back, and you closed your eyes, lost in the feeling of his touch.
"You're so wet," Minho teased. "Just from me touching your thigh?"
"Mm," you whimpered, gripping the armrest as Minho's finger curled inside you.
"Only pay attention to me," he commanded.
You shivered at his possessive words, your back arching against the chair.
"Shit," he murmured, his eyes struggling to stay on the road. "You make me want to pull the car over and fuck you right here."
Your breath hitched, and your core tightened at his words. "Do it," you challenged, your voice shaky.
"What?" he asked, glancing at you briefly.
"Pull the car over," you repeated, "and fuck me."
Minho sucked in a sharp breath, his grip on the steering wheel tightening with tension.
"Don't tempt me," he warned, his voice husky.
"Please," you begged, your body craving his touch. "I want you, Min."
"Be patient," he warned, his finger curling up into you and hitting you in the perfect spot.
You moaned, your head falling back against the seat. "I can't," you whined, your hips rolling against his hand.
"You can, and you will," he said, his thumb brushing over your clit as his index and middle fingers worked their way into you.
"Min, I need it," you groaned, your hips grinding against his hand, seeking relief.
Minho breathed, his fingers thrusting deeper into you, "You're so desperate for me."
"Please," you pleaded, "I'm desperate, I can't hold on."
"You're lucky I'm even entertaining you now," Minho said, his cock obviously hard in his pants.
You could feel the tension in his body and the way his fingers moved inside you with a renewed fervor.
"Don't pretend like you're not just as turned on," you teased, your fingers gripping the armrest as his hand began to pick up its pace.
"I am," Minho conceded, "but I have a little more self-control than you."
"Don't have self-control," you groaned, your hips rocking against his hand as you sought release.
"You're a little slut for my cock, aren't you? Can't even wait." He smirked.
You bit your lip, unable to argue, as his fingers thrust deeper inside you.
"Just give me what I want, Min," you whined, the pressure building in your core.
"So impatient," he said, his fingers curling again, repeatedly hitting the same spot.
You gasped, your back arching as the pleasure overwhelmed you.
"Minho," you pleaded.
"Let go," he commanded, his thumb teasing your clit with purpose.
You cried out, your orgasm crashing over you as his fingers worked you through your high, feeling yourself clench over his fingers.
You whimpered, the aftershocks of your climax making your body tremble with desire.
Minho pulled his hand away, his breath shaky as he brought his fingers up to your mouth.
"Lick it up," he said, his voice low and commanding.
You obliged, licking the salty-sweet taste from his fingers.
"Good girl," he praised, his cock visibly twitching in his pants.
Your body is still aching for him inside of you; just the sight of it makes your mouth water.
"Fuck me," you pleaded. "Please."
Minho shook his head. "I can't do this here, not yet. We're almost there."
"But,"
"Behave and wait," he commanded, his voice firm and unwavering.
You squirmed in your seat, the lingering burn of desire coursing through your body.
"Stop acting like a brat," he scolded.
Your hand meets his thigh now, trailing up.
"Oh, but what if I am?"
"Stop trying to rile me up," he said, his voice like a warning.
You grinned, enjoying the effect you had on him.
"Or what?"
"Or I'll spank you," he threatened, his eyes locking on the road.
You bit your lip, feeling a mischievous idea taking shape in your mind.
"Pull the car over and do it, then," you teased, your hand reaching out to brush against the bulge in his pants, tracing a line down.
Minho hissed, his hips involuntarily jerking against your touch.
"We're going to be late," he warned.
"Let's be late, then."
Minho let out a breath, his knuckles white on the steering wheel as he struggled to maintain control.
"If I pull the car over now, you're going to regret it later."
You bit your lip, playing with your seatbelt.
"Is that a promise?"
"Fine," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "You want to be fucked so bad, then let's fucking do it."
He pulled the car over to the side of the road, putting the car in park, right on a dirt path with only a single tree covering the view.
He unbuckled your seatbelt and picked you up to lay across his lap.
He lifted your skirt and yanked your panties down, and you could feel his erection straining against his pants.
You gasped, feeling the cool air against your ass, exposed and ready.
"You remember the safeword, correct?"
You nodded, a shiver of excitement running down your spine.
"Beg," he ordered, his voice rough and commanding.
"Please," you pleaded, your voice desperate. "Please, fuck me."
"Again."
"Min, please," you moaned, the friction of his cock rubbing against your sensitive spots driving you crazy. "Please, I want your cock. I need it."
"Tell me what a slut you are."
"I'm... " You inhaled sharply, a mix of sensations flooding you as his hand made contact, your thoughts clouding with each touch.
"Say it," he insisted, his hand massaging your reddened cheeks and his fingers pressing into your tender skin.
"I'm your slut," you moaned, the shame and humiliation only making the heat between your legs grow.
"Good girl," he praised, his hand caressing the curve of your ass.
You whimpered, the sensation overwhelming as he teased you.
When he readjusted you to sit in your lap, the sting was evident.
He undid his pants and let his cock spring free. He was huge and throbbing, a bead of precum glistening at the tip.
You couldn't help but stare at the sight of his cock, which sent a jolt of pleasure through your body.
You needed him, you wanted him, and you could barely hold back.
"Fuck me," you whined, desperate for him to fill you up.
He took his time, his cock grinding against your wetness, coating the length of him in your arousal.
"Please," you begged, his cock brushing against your clit, the sensation making you gasp.
"Patient," he warned, his hips rolling forward as his cock rubbed against your folds.
You moaned, the friction against your clit driving you crazy.
"I need you," you pleaded, the ache between your legs becoming unbearable.
He sighed out, the head of his cock finally pressing against your entrance.
You gasped, your body trembling with anticipation as he slowly pushed into you.
The stretch was almost too much, but the pain mixed with pleasure was intoxicating. You whimpered, your walls clenching around him.
You moaned, the sensation of his cock filling you up nearly driving you over the edge.
"Minho, fuck, please move." you pleaded after a few seconds of him settling inside you.
His eyes hit yours like daggers, his stare sharp. "You wanted my cock so bad, so you're going to do it yourself."
You blinked at him, not fully comprehending what he meant.
Minho grabbed your hips, lifting you up and down his shaft.
Your eyes widened, realizing what he meant. You began to move your hips up a little, your hands laid on his chest for support.
"There we go," he cooed, his fingers digging into your hips as you rode him. "Just like that."
You bit your lip, the feeling of his cock hitting you in all the right places driving you crazy.
Leaning forward, he captured your mouth in a hungry kiss. You moaned into his mouth as his cock hit your walls perfectly, eliciting a deep pleasure.
Lee Know broke the kiss, his hand tangling in your hair, pulling your head back.
He kissed your neck, biting the sensitive skin. The pleasure and pain mingled together, making you cry out.
"Keep going," he instructed, his tongue tracing a path along your jawline.
You obeyed, persisting in moving your hips as he drove his cock into you, the angle enabling him to penetrate even deeper.
You moaned, the sensation becoming almost unbearable.
Suddenly, you felt his hand lightly wrap around your neck, the pressure adding to the overwhelming pleasure.
You gasped, the sensation sending a powerful jolt through your body when he lightly squeezed, just enough to drive you wild.
You felt the pressure intensifying, your inner walls starting to flutter around his throbbing cock. Your breathing quickened as you felt yourself nearing the edge, the combination of his touch and the intense stimulation pushing you closer to the brink of ecstasy.
With one final, deep thrust, you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you as you reached your peak, your body wracked with waves of intense pleasure.
Your hips jerked, riding out the aftershocks of your orgasm, and you collapsed against him, completely spent.
Minho grabbed at your hips, continuing to pound deeper into you, his movements becoming more frantic as he chased his own release.
His breathing grew ragged, his hands gripping you tight as he fucked you with renewed vigor, his cock hitting your walls in just the right place, causing tears to form in your eyes from the overstimulation.
Finally, with a moan, his body tensed, his cock twitching inside you as he spilled his release.
After a moment, he pulled out, his breathing heavy as lay his head against the headrest.
Your legs were trembling from the overstimulation, your face was flushed with a tear streaming down, and your hair was tousled.
Not to mention you now had marks on your neck and ass.
You were too tired to move, it felt like your body turned into lead.
He held you in his arms, brushing his fingers through your hair.
You closed your eyes and let the sound of his heartbeat lull you to sleep.
-
"Hey, are you okay?"
You opened your eyes, your vision blurred.
"Huh?"
You looked around and realized you were in your own bed, not the car.
You glanced over at Minho, his gaze soft as he watched you.
"What happened?" you asked, still disoriented.
"You fell asleep on me," he chuckled. "This is why I suggested we don't go all the way..."
The realization fully hit you, you picked up your phone to find multiple messages from your friends telling you to 'get better soon' and others asking where you were.
"Sorry for getting carried away," you apologized, looking down, and feeling slightly embarrassed.
Minho grabbed your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours.
"It's okay, it was worth it."
You looked at him, his eyes full of affection.
You smiled, squeezing his hand.
"I love you."
You leaned over, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
"I love you, too."
He returned the gesture, pulling you close.
The two of you stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other's arms, until Minho's phone began to vibrate.
He glanced at it, sighing.
"It's Chan again."
"We should get going," you said, not wanting to keep them waiting any longer.
"Are you sure about that?" he asked, with the cocky look on his face back again.
You tried to sit up but immediately felt your body protest, the soreness kicking in.
"Fuck," you muttered, flopping back down onto the mattress.
"I did warn you," he smirked, his hands rubbing at your sore legs.
"Don't touch me," you said, trying to swat his hand away.
He laughed, kissing your forehead.
"Don't be mad, I told you this was a bad idea."
You frowned, your heart melting a little at his cute gesture.
"You win."
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#stray kids x reader#skz#skz smut#stray kids#skz imagines#skz x reader#skz lee know#skz lee minho#skz minho#stray kids lee know#stray kids smut#stray kids imagines#minho smut#lee know smut#lee know#lee minho#minho#lee know x reader#lee know stray kids#lee know imagines
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I was actually thinking about this a lot but like as an add on to your humans are hylian space orcs thing. I am in ✨need✨ of reader trying potions. Like;
"This potion will restore your stamina and boost your strength"
"Buddy that's just coffee"
"Qué?"
Even worse if when the reader tries it it's just like the most not strong coffee they've ever drank. Makes the guys wonder wtf makes humans need so much energy through out the day.
this is such a cute idea, i love how diet diffs/energy diffs in humans are space orcs aus, so genius to apply to hylians
the stamnia boost potion tastes just like instant coffee with powdered creamer (the kind at like car dealerships/shitty offices where its not even a little liquid creamer)
and u spit that shit out like wtf is this bs
and Four, poor guy who gave you some after talking a break from walking, is like "oh my goddess r u allergic?? can still breath???"
meanwhile ur like. "yeah this just tastes like shit-"
four: "oh well yeah, all potions do really-"
you: "-ty coffee. this is nowhere near strong enough to get me back on my feet ffs"
four: " 👁️👄👁️"
you: "u got anything stronger? :/ "
four: " w h a t ? "
cue u researching how to make stamnia potions, across the hyrules, and making them 10x stronger so theyre like an actual coffee shop kind of coffee, and the Links are literally lowkey scared
Time forbids you (and the rest of the guys) from letting anyone else try ur "improved" elixir (s)
bc yes, u didnt stop at stamnia
u moved on to healing potions, (u can now regrow limbs and heal broken bones, the hylians can only take like a 1/16th of a sip like once a week, whereas u chug the whole thing, and can do so multiple times a day if needed)
u also moved onto cooking, bc rlly how different is cooking from alchemy?
and goron spice tasted like goddamn dorito chips, so u used essence of literal lava to help make it more spicy,
ur not allowed to introduce this new spice to the gorons, Wild forbid, bc he was adventurous enough (and snuck behind Time and ur backs) to try some spice
(he literally touched the tip of his pinky finger to it, wiped it off, except for 1 like flake of spice too)
and it lowkey nearly killed him 💀
like had to use that 1/16th of ur extra strong healing potion and everything
u felt so bad, but he did do this to himself,
and Wild knew the gorons dont back down from a challenge, esp since it was originally their recipe, so he (and you) didnt wanna kill them on accident
the sleeping potion u found is just like taking a single melatonin gummy, so u ofc make that thing knock even you out after 2 sips,
needless to say, no one is trying that one, not only bc it knocked Rulie unconcious for 12 hours straight (u got him to try it after he exhausted all his magic healing, and so no nightmares)
but bc it knocked u out cold for 9. that was the scarier part to them lmao, was how affected is their human by this?
i like to think thats how they judge unknown foods and liquids too,
like "do you think this tastes unseasoned? ok should be perfect for me then" - every Link
"oh this didnt make u feel sleepy at all/barely tired? great, id love to knock out cold w/no nightmares tonight" - Sky, probably
"this tastes like that thing you call, instant cough? ko-fee? Cool, give me some i need to run up this mountain" - Wild, for the 3rd time this month probably
"this barely healed ur papercut? sweet, give me some my wrists are killing me" - poor Legend, he uses ur extra strength healing potion as a way to treat his arthritis regularly once a month, but the more chill potions for any leftover aches and pains, esp after long fights being hard on his arms
Chain is simultaneously still lowkey terrified u need that much extra oomf, esp when u run out of stronger stuff and have to down like 5 health potions to heal a cut that needed stitches,
and also worried u need that much and also Wild/Wars/Rulie tend to work overtime to make sure they have extra potions for you
and theyre also kind of impressed, bc hey, youre unlikely to get magically poisoned/potion poisoned like them
☆
sorry i couldnt think of as much as i hoped, i think its bc i rlly just need to play/watch more loz games besides botw/totk
i like know the vague plot of ss/oot/mm/tp/ww/hw and og loz games, but havent gotten into details/lets play or anything yet
i hope this was at least a half decent idea to think about/expand on urs, have a great rest of ur week, and thanks so much for the ask!! <33
Peace out,
🌙
#i tried to add a cut so this wouldnt be constantly expanded but i just had to trust tumblr for this one bc it kept unbulleting my stuff#i tried guys#sorry#linked universe x reader#lu x reader#male reader#linked universe reader#lu x male reader#link x reader#loz link x reader#linked universe male reader#moon rambles#literally just that didnt organize this at all rlly
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ok so I haven't done an insane and pointless landoscar post in a while so !!
I blurted most of this to @mecachrome and needed to like ground myself abt it but like.
Lando allowing himself to oscillate between extremes of Taking Your Affection For Granted/Being an Absolute Menace and Please Look at Me/Please Tell Me I'm Important to You is smth we only see him do w very very specific people. he's got to feel very secure that their attention and patience w him go hand in hand. namely we know of Max F, Jon, some of Lando's karting friends, and now Oscar. with literally everyone else he makes an effort to soften or balance himself and fit their energy (which tbh is how most of us are w friends and colleagues). but Lando is not Just Anyone and Not Just Some Guy so there's a special extra sector of friendship and affection there to be achieved if someone has the desire to.
and somehow to me it's like, Lando realizing so early on that Oscar really really really knew him and then gradually realizing that Oscar was continuing to study and learn him, it basically jumped his feeling of safety around Oscar to a degree he normally only feels around ppl he's known for a very long time.
and that a peruse through these two tags it becomes clear that Lando feels secure in putting Oscar through the paces of Lando's least happy and amenable moods possible. bc !! Oscar just smiles through it and doesn't get offended and almost sort of pushes through it as if to say you're not going to annoy me away mate, I've decided we're friends and that's it.
bc it's a test he knows Lando does when he's decided you're a Safe Person. like in Bahrain and Lando jokingly goes ugh! hi Oscar! and IMMEDIATELY switches to Osc bc he's in a Mood about having to discuss Bahrain as if they possibly could've learned much about the car yet and there's nothing rly to discuss but he doesn't want to take it out on Oscar … and then ! Oscar sees the pout on Lando's face, ignores everyone else and does this lean in and starts teasing Lando abt the repetitive questions they're being asked ! and Lando ! breaks out into this big smile and his mood just lifts !! bc Oscar knows exactly what to do !
and somehow that's all tied into how insanely clingy they both were at the start of the season and Lando esp was going a bit crazy with posting and reposting and commenting on content with Oscar or him and Oscar and how he felt this need to explain to Oscar why he went to see Daniel and not him bc wowwww he rly missed Oscar and the way Oscar just watches him and laughs at all his jokes and doesn't ask Lando to Be Anything Other than Himself bc Oscar takes the good and the bad bc it's Lando! Oscar had folded Lando into his life long before they even knew they'd be teammates!
which parallels the end of season video in Abu Dhabi or the Saudi post race video 'Straya Mate' and Lando is about to jump out of his skin to get Oscar to look at him !! and in those moments Oscar is a combination of tired and rly not enjoying media but Lando canNOT HANDLE when Oscar isn't watching him and Oscar seems sort of fed up with cameras so he STARES at Oscar's face and wriggles around and builds up to jokes bc he just needs to see himself having that effect on Oscar! and Oscar never lets him squirm for long and caves in to any joke Lando makes no matter how bad. and all of that fits so much w the sort of "soft dom" moments where ultimately, Lando views Oscar as one of the few people in his life who will Take Care of Him and who Knows What Lando Needs. but also !! it's a return of what Oscar does for Lando!
bc we've all seen him be like this w Max F and Jon and how no matter what flavor of Lando gets thrown at them - sweet or sour - they know just how he works and would never ever betray that level of trust by getting bored or disinterested or fed up with him. Max definitely has the most ability to scold Lando to order but tbh that happens v rarely and mostly he just mutters to himself or the camera and totally folds to Lando anyway.
but the difference is that Lando has years of proof on his side w Max and Jon and the other ppl he feels like this with. Oscar however is still a New Friend and he's got this whole settled, grown up life outside racing and Lando's relying a whole lot on the degree of commitment to McLaren that Oscar has shown again and again. they have friends in common and a drift compatible bond as teammates but they don't broadcast their interactions like most drivers do w other drivers so who knows how much Oscar has integrated in Lando's life outside of that? and I can only imagine Lando does NOT cope well with losing people he's brought into that degree of trust even tho from what we know he's never had that happen. but Oscar is so self-contained and reserved about the deeper parts of his personality so all of us sure can't say exactly how he'd react to him or Lando going to another team and you wonder how much Lando does ??
and godddd then we got this little glimpse into their natural dynamic and I end up finding myself hoping especially for Lando's sake that their friendship keeps getting stronger over the years they both know they have for sure together bc it's feels v safe to say that Oscar being someone else's teammate and not being Right There throughout the season would not be good for Lando !! </3
*obligatory reminder that I write these posts purely for fun and no I do not hinge any of my happiness in life on two men in racey cars - bc some ppl cannot tell what fandom is for and think everyone's deadly serious
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the sports i think the sully siblings would play modern au! headcanons
literally came up with this at a basketball game lol
also, just a lil something before i finish my spider fic <3
neteyam
basketball
— kid def dominates the court 100%. he’s definitely a beast at this sport.
— most likely the teammate to be the loudest on & off the court. like he’s always cheering on his fellow teammates & would be the first one to help the other up whenever they trip or get pushed onto the floor.
— gives the greatest pep talks before a game & is quite good at hyping up his teammates on an individual level. also helps them out whenever he sees one get too into their heads & tries to get them out of it.
— 100% the team captain no doubt. he pours his whole being into the sports that he does & tries to be perfect in them, practicing so much. he puts a lot of work into his technique & is rewarded through his playing time. poor kid is always on the court but he doesn’t mind too much, just goes to show how good of a player he is.
— my own personal au is that neteyam was put into varsity his freshman year but kids so humble about it, other students can’t even be mad at him for it. he truly deserved it.
track & field
— probably only started this sport to get better / faster at basketball. it started out as something he felt like he should do in order to improve at basketball but then loved the sport at the end.
— probs a sprinter
— he receives so many medals that he has way too many
— always striving to beat his best times
lo’ak
basketball
— he honestly wanted to be like his big bro so bad. he looks up to him so much it’s hella cute.
— he started the sport to be like neteyam but ended up liking it anyway in the end
— tried so hard to make it onto the varsity team but made it onto jv his freshman year. bro was so heartbroken he silently cried on the way home from tryouts. but he did make it onto the varsity team halfway through his sophomore year. the recruited him onto the team after one of the varsity players received a season ending injury.
— 100% the one that instigates fights on the court, which causes neteyam to swoop in & save his ass from being ejected or benched.
— he & neteyam are a force on the court. leads the team in points. bros got telepathy bc they always know when to pass the ball to each other & are always so sync it’s kinda creepy to watch.
— i feel like his jersey number is 0 bc neteyam already had 1 & he wanted that number so he got petty & went w/ 0.
football
— def only did this sport bc jake played it when he was younger. he wanted to impress him & he like jake :(
— stopped playing it once he realized that he was receiving no joy from it & that jake’s praise from it didn’t give him the same feeling it did when he was younger
— might pick it back up in college or something for fun but not very likely
— probably was a quarterback or wide receiver
kiri
figure skating
— idk why i see her doing this but i just do
— so elegant on the ice that it’s almost mesmerizing watching her skate. so graceful too.
— really enjoys the sport. allows her to express how she’s feeling & gives her some alone time.
— literally spends so much time on the ice that the owners of the skating rink know her by name & allow her to skate during holidays or way past closing, trusting her enough to lock the doors behind her on her way out.
— perfectly lands all her jumps & moves, receiving such high scores from the judges after every performance.
— has so many medals that neytiri has multiple bins full of them in the attic lol
— will argue on her death bed that figure skating is a sport & will fight someone if they say it’s not
tuktirey
little league soccer
— jake & neytiri wanted tuk to be involved in some sport to get out her unlimited energy & came up with soccer.
— at first, she wanted nothing to do with it. whining in the car the whole ride to practice, pouting.
— but once she got there, she actually enjoyed it. she even made a friend! once practice was over, she couldn’t wait for tomorrow’s practice.
— loves just running around, chasing after others, & being chased.
— 100% the type of kid to wear her shin guards outside of her socks. hates the feeling of the shin guards against her sweaty skin.
— always has mix matched socks on
— def has brightly colored beads in her hair so when she runs by, she’s just a blur of color running by
#avatar#atwow imagines#avatar imagine#avatar: the way of water#atwow x reader#avatar x reader#atwow#atwow x you#neteyam#neteyam sully#neteyam sully x reader#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x reader#lo’ak imagine#lo’ak oneshot#lo’ak sully x you#lo’ak#lo’ak x y/n#lo’ak sully x reader#kiri sully#kiri x reader#kiri x y/n#kiri#tuktirey#tuk#avatar headcanons
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hii um can i rq yamato or mitsuki having their first kiss w the reader in a (different unit/band?) concert. uhhh character paid for his ticket but reader got in bcz theyre a photographer n stuff…. ty…
Izumi Mitsuki x Reader :: Capturing a Kiss through a Lens
Typically Mitsuki would like to spend his day off cooking, relaxing, or having a casual night out drinking, but tonight was a different story.
Tonight he'd agreed to go with MEZZO'' boys to see an indie band that both Sogo and Momo had previously reccommended, and since he didn't feel like being a couch potato or practicing some dances at the dorm, he figured it'd be a good night to go since the tickets weren't pricey.
He just wanted to see what the hype about...and also you saying you'd be attending might've been a factor.
"Mikki is only here because (Y/N)-chan is going!" is a complaint Tamaki had been toting with them from the moment they got in the car to the start of the concert.
There was a nice crowd, but nothing that'd get the venue feeling stuffy, so that was nice. The boys would obviously have to be wearing disguises as to not get spotted and more importantly, not take attention away from the actual performers.
His attention is quickly turning to Tamaki suddenly chiming up and excitedly waving his hand in the air, your name being yelled loud enough to ring through the admiteddly small venue.
Sogo quickly raises up a hand toward his mouth to silence him (which was hard enough considering they were all wearing masks) as to not direct any unwanted gazes your way, you were already a photographer so thats noticible enough on its own.
Mitsuki meanwhile, feels his body become a bit warmer as you make your way over to the group, a casual yet knowing smile gracing your features. He can't even hide his smile, feeling as if anyone looked his way they'd practically see it even through his mask.
You exchange your greetings to everyone and explain why you were there, to which they all listen despite the noise all around them that could easily drown the conversation out.
"Well, sorry to bother you while you're on the clock." Mitsuki says, but by the tone you can tell there's a little tease in it.
"Don't worry about me, I can enjoy the concert and look for good angles and the same time." You reply a bit smugly.
"I guess that's a formidable photographer for ya." He reaches back to rub his neck. You didn't miss that he bothered to compliment you. "I assume you'll be moving around a bit then though, instead of standing by us." A small laugh escapes you, one that has his heart beating a bit faster upon hearing.
"I'll be back around, don't worry." .::.
The speakers were nearly at max volume, filling the venue (and outside of it) with the melodic sounds of the indie band. Penlights weren't really a thing in this scene, but people did raise their hands, something Tamaki quickly caught onto and joined. Sogo was a bit more reserved as always, but the sparkle in his eye when hearing music he enjoys wasn't missed.
Mitsuki himself had joined in on the hype, the energy of the room was infectious, as it should be at a concert.
So much so in fact, he nearly forgot that you were moving around the venue taking pictures. Your camera's flash wasn't on, making it much more discreet and less disruptive to the audience.
You nearly scare him as you quietly slipped by his side again, only seeing you at the corner of his bright orange irises.
Which, unbeknownst to him, you'd been looking into before he even fully turned to you.
Even in the ever-changing hues of the room with the mood lights above, you'd never mistake the color of those eyes and hair.
Wrapped up in your trancelike line of thought, you hadn't even realized he'd pulled his mask down, apparently asking you something judging by his expression. He'd likely thought you hadn't heard him the first time since he felt the need to take the mask off.
Feeling bad you hadn't heard him, you lean in closer so he could repeat himself.
His cheeks seemed a bit flushed and his brow furrows slightly, but he doesn't back away.
"Are...you enjoying the concert?" You could hear him more, but could telll he was going out of his way to not yell in your face despite the music and audience noise since you were already in close proximity.
"Oh...yeah.." You say. Directly after the words left you, you were worried your voice was a bit too low for him to hear.
Though, seeing his adorable smile return to his face, you quickly could tell otherwise.
"I'm glad." He says. Your faces still being inches away from each other..perhaps even closer than you'd started.
"...Mitsuki?" His name comes out a bit more vulnerable sounding than you'd intended.
"yeah?"
Maybe it was the music that had the both of your adrenaline pumping more than usual, and with that, usually came more risk taking.
And yes, maybe it would've been better to get proper clarification, but the looks you and he were giving each other, and the fact neither of you bothered to distance yourselves..
Soon, you find the sweet sensation of Mitsuki's lips on yours, sending electricity through your bodies. His fingers soon found a place upon your cheek, resting there gently.
Thankfully his fellow group members were too immersed in the spectacle in front of them to notice. This would be awkward to explain on the way back to the dorm.
As your lips part, your eyes flutter open to meet his once more.
He certainly won't be leaving with Tamaki and Sogo tonight, thats for sure.
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supernatural s12e8 lotus (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)
i wanted to revisit that little lucifer!vince meltdown in 12x07 because i thought maybe i was too high to parse what was happening or something. i definitely misunderstood something, but the emotional content still doesn't make sense to me. anyway, details about partial confusion resolution
i didn't think anything was gonna top the leviathans in most loathed (but more in a boring way) villain but british men of letters are bringing the eye rolling heat.
CROWLEY Lucifer's not content with slutting it from one random vessel to the next. He's moving on to blue chips—celebrities, captains of industry. He just got a lot more dangerous. CASTIEL I agree with Agent Zappa. DEAN Oh, will you stop?
i laughed but like, it'd be more fun if cas was trying to rile him up instead of being in clueless robot mode. feels like we get a different cas every episode
there is something amusing about crossing this trope of the catholic church getting infiltrated by the devil and they try to exorcise him with the spn universe where lucifer and exorcism is all a very different kind of beast.
and now he's in the president, of course. they really have defanged lucifer. now he's getting the cartoon villain treatment too. mark played him on this edge of charisma and creepy and ... actually scary, in a way that he felt like a real, solid threat. who had done awful, awful things to our sam specifically, that left him deeply traumatized. anyway, it's not just switching actors, but this story they're wedging him into.
swift kick to the gut while i'm sitting here musing on a president leading a morning prayer that this aired in december 2016.
LUCIFER It's almost like I've never done that before.
???????
i also had a visceral hate of the rape references/"jokes" lucifer repeatedly made to sam (were they all hallucifer? imagine so) this makes ZERO sense. and also, what the fuck, is this a sitcom? oh the literal devil is feeling offkilter because he's just had sex for the first time teehee aww. WHAT
SAM Crowley, can we just get the damn news without the drama? CROWLEY Can I get you without the flannel? No. Still, I endure.
lol good one, crowley
look at me not overreacting about sam sneaking off to make an aborted phone call and trying to hide it. why the fuck is he calling the bad mol people though...???
having serious dick roman flashbacks with this lucifer plotline.
CASTIEL There's been a massive surge in celestial energy. A Nephilim is come into being. It's the offspring of an angel and a human. DEAN And that's big news? CASTIEL Yes, but the power to produce this is immense. It's much, much greater than a typical angel. SAM Lucifer. DEAN W— Lucifer? I didn't know he was dating.
again, are we in a sitcom? tone of the episode is really not meshing with the jokes they're going for, for me. is this gonna be the nephilim i've heard of?
SAM Do we have a plan? DEAN Impeach LOTUS and find Rosemary's Baby.
oh, silly me. i was thinking lotus the car brand, thought the episode might have some car-slant. lucifer of the united states 🥴
seeing them clearly in the car, outside, makes me realize just how much of the driving shown is at night (for production reasons, obviously)
required hair appreciation note. maybe i had to slog through some truly atrocious haircuts/styles and sideburns to fully appreciate getting here
god. i have such a kneejerk queasy reaction to take five by dave brubeck. my brief stint (during a really Bad Time in my life) at university i would kill time between classes at a place near this cd shop on campus. they played take five over and over and over and over. it's a great piece of music but it still immediately throws me back into this really miserable headspace.
that said, i do think it was used well in this scene. and that was a really good little action sequence, nice tight pacing. sam and dean's reaction to the explosion was really good and it felt like they were right there (and magically baby did not get damaged by the explosion right in her face). cas standing in front of it, unbothered, cliche but still fun. but then fucko had to start talking and i mentally checked out.
coulda had fucko drive up in a lotus but no, bentley 😔 probably harder to obtain a lotus in whatever, vancouver
hurray sam's furtive phone call to bad people already addressed in the same episode.
introducing all sorts of goofy ass weapons. sure, why not
is there a snappy name for this team-up?
CASTIEL The thing inside you, it's unholy. It's an abomination.
great. surely she's gonna want to keep the lucifer!baby then
the magical egg scene went on way too long. i guess it was supposed to be high stakes zapping lucifer back to the cage but god it's just all so not.
i really love how crowley's teleportation is silent, no vfx other than cutting so he's just gone. it's surprisingly effective. anyway, kind of hoping they can work out their problems. good pair
the whole dean being somewhat in awe that they got lucifer felt... i dunno. like ok so is this when we find out he didn't actually end up in the cage?
uh. why are dean and sam there just hanging out with the president? and getting arrested? what. great. my fave.
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I had a pretty great day. It was beautiful out. And while I desperately wanted to go home at times, I still had a really nice day. And I got a lot of stuff done at home too. My energy was good.
I didn't sleep amazing. We put a fan in the bedroom though and that helped. I think w combination of the sound and the breeze. We are going to put a ceiling fan in our room but we just haven't gotten to it yet. Jess gave us the one from her house she replaced. It works she just wanted a different look. So we will have to do that soon.
When I woke up I was not thrilled. I took forever to get ready and I really liked my hair and my outfit and was feeling nice about myself.
James helped me carry some stuff to the car. Things I'm returning to the art building and all the fish tank stuff I took out yesterday to clean. And after a hug we said goodbye.
I had a nice drive. And would listen to my podcast. And got to camp at 8. I was really excited that it would be warm later but it was chilly right then.
I went up to arts and crafts and dropped off all my stuff. I wouldn't clean the fish stuff yet. My hands would be to cold. So I would come back later.
I went and had my breakfast and continued to work on the PowerPoint slideshow. Which took less then an hour to finish. I would work on finishing up the poster for the open house next. Which was quick. I had only been waiting for 5 more pictures but Elizabeth finally just told me to Google them which I was like. You could have told me that a week ago. But whatever. It's handled. The poster is done.
Sarah came in and we decided to work on sorting the board games. This ended up being way more stressful then I expected. I had to keep stopping and starting again. It was both to dusty and just overwhelming. I was not having a good time.
I tried though. Putting like games together. Making note of the broken ones. But I very much felt overwhelmed and I took a lot of breaks.
Around 11 I decided it was finally warm enough to wash the fish stuff. I would rinse everhbting really well and would find my pet snail!! Not one of the invader snails. He was out of the tank for hours! I felt so bad. I put him in a cup of water and hoped for the best and he's fine?? The most powerful snail.
After I finished cleaning everything I would leave them out in the sun. And went to collect all the materials I want to bring for my workshops on Friday. I have two sessions of diorama making. I'm excited to make things with the kids. I still need to get my paints and things ready for them. But it is going to be a lot of fun.
I would have my lunch and do some research for things we might need for Uganda. A travel adapter. Which it turns out they use the same as the UK so that wasn't as hard I expected. And I did research into water filters. I ended up finding a two pack of straws that filter and the reviews specifically mentioned Uganda so I was like oh perfect. I sent everything to James and they agreed with me about the choices. And they should be here very good.
I would go for a walk around camp. Just looking around. Enjoying how pretty out it was. I did some more computer work though. Working on handouts for workshops. Things like that. But it didn't take long.
I took the gator to move the archery targets to the bike shed. And then went to get my materials and fish stuff from the art building to drive to my car. It was ridiculously beautiful out so I drove extra around camp hurt enjoying being out there.
When I got back Sarah let me know she was going to go get the mail and then wanted to know if I wanted to go check out nature camp's low ropes course.
I have never been to nature camp. I have worked at puhtok since 2020 and I just never have gone to the other camp on our property. So I suggested that we take the gator and save some energy. She said that was a great idea and we headed out.
It was super fun. Nature camp is a little dilapidated, since they have been closed for a few years now, only getting used for rentals, but the nature itself was beautiful. Their stream was actually flowing. And it was neat seeing the other buildings.
We went and followed the trails to the low ropes course. And it was a very cool one! We were both a little to old to actually complete the whole thing but it was still really fun. I wish we had more stuff like it. Rope brides and blocks and a a small zip line and we climbed what we could and it was like. Legit play. I really had a lot of fun. Even if it was a bit exhausting and made my hands hurt. I had to take my rings off because my hands swelled up. Which isn't shocking but is still uncomfy.
Sarah would walk up the hill to go check out some tire swings we could see, while I walked along the stream and while I did not see any creatures, I still really loved the water.
We were both a little tired and hot so we walked back to the gator. Which felt so far away but we made it and we're only huffing and puffing a little.
We drove to get the mail. And then back to the office. We weren't there to long though. Sarah would go up to the barn. And I would go for a walk to the Glen to see how the frog eggs were doing.
They are migrating towards the center of the pond but I was still able to get close enough to see that some of them are no longer dots bht sre now small rectangles! They grow stronger by the day.
By the time I got back to the office and answered some emails it was 330. And I was bored. Wildly bored. I texted Sarah and let her know I was heading out.
I didn't go home right away. Instead I stopped at goodwill. And I'm really glad I did. It was stupidly busy but I still had some amazing finds.
Firstly I found a new fruit shaped sugar dish. My orange (fruit) shaped one finally shattered to much to fix. And I found a strawberry one! Amazing. Then I found another soda stream bottle. A great deal at $2 and now James can have a soda flavor too.
But then I found the best thing. I turned the corner and my childhood doll house was right there. Like I spent hours with this doll house. And it was only $10.
As I was taking a picture of it a woman accidentally stepped in front of me and apologized and I was like it's all good. And I told her all about the doll house and how all the feelings hit me. And she was like you obviously have to buy it. But I wasn't sure yet. I walked around the whole store a few times. I texted James for advice. And I decided that if I didn't get it I would regret it. So I got it.
And I'm thrilled. I would drive home and was super excited to get it inside and clean it up.
It was kind of a rough drive. But I got home before 430. I parked and brought my stuff inside. And as I was closing the door I heard James come in the back door! Same time!
James would start making a pizza dough. And I would jump into cleaning the fish tanks. Which finally seem clean. I set up the tank I took everything out of. I checked on omelet, who seems to be thriving. And I vacuumed the other tank a few more times just to get the floaty stuff out.
I poured everything in the dirt outside. And the sun felt so nice out there.
While I was pruning the plants in the one tank someone knocked on the door and James answered and it was someone signing us up for the provider for our electric and gas. Which I don't know if that's normal anywhere else but it is here. It's so your energy is offset by solar and wind power. So James signed us up for this one. The guy was also really nice and complimented the studio and thought it was really cool. Thank you.
After that person left I finished the tanks and started working on cleaning the doll house. Which was very dirty. I also had to reglue the house number back on the front. And after I cleaned it up I made space for it on the shelf and took the other house apart to move everyone in.
And I am really excited to how it looks. I had to pull some more furniture and accessories from storage but it came together so well.
I would take a break to have some pizza James made. They went to go play a game with friends and I kept working on my doll house.
After I finished that I did some cleaning. I vacuumed and cleaned the kitty litter. I started putting stuff on the skinny shelf I made since James has finished painting it. And I would do some more organizing of the living room and moving things around. It was fun.
Eventually I ran out of steam. And I cuddled up on the couch with sweetp. I have been hanging out here texting Celia and Callie. And now James is here. And the evening is winding down.
Tomorrow I am not sure what we are going to do at camp. I know we have to set up for the field trip on Friday. But beyond that I am not sure what the day will bring. I just hope it's a nice day. I hope I am not as desperate to go home.
I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep good. Be safe. Take care of yourself. Until next time!!
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Random thoughts I had during my fifth viewing of the cinematic masterpiece "Cocktail" (1988)
Well... more like my 5 2/3 viewing bc I got like 2/3 through it and then my mom was like "why didn't you tell me you were gonna watch it, I would have wanted to watch it too" so I lied about how far I was through it "there's still a lot left we can start it over" and I watched the same movie almost twice in a row in the span of a few hours :)
"Wild Again" by Starship is one of the only good songs tbh, although "Addicted to Love" and "When Will I Be Loved" are also pretty alright. But the soundtrack is lowkey horrendous imo
I stand by my previous standalone post- no one has ever been that excited to get on a fkin Greyhound bus
Benefit of the bus, however- the scene with him and the baby; I feel like Tom just vibes really well w kids because he's such a smiley, fun, and chaotic lil guy and gREAT now I have baby fever again thx 💖
Oh the blatant plot exposition about his parents that they beat us over the head with oh-so-subtly
Oh the foreshadowing throughout that is even less subtle
One of my favorite quotes in any movie, bc it makes me feel better about my life being in disarray and not knowing what to do about it, I guess, is the “Most things in life, good and bad, just kinda happen to ya.”
Tom's still got his high little baby voice 😩
Even as a college graduate, the interviewing scene hits way too hard 🥲😩
Someone needs to acknowledge that the Red Eye looks like the most disgusting thing
Wish the dress shirt and tie fit had been featured more because it does things to me, but the scenes contrasting his first and second shift at the bar are when I first developed TC brain rot and fell in love w that lil goofball
I can’t judge the girl giving him the "fuck me eyes" bc have you seen him, plus she’s showing restraint compared to what I would do tbh
The adult learners usually drove me nuts in my classes (which I know is terrible but shhhhh) but I felt so bad for Sheila Rivkin
This professor really thinks he’s doing standup comedy or smth
Honey don’t put your face on the subway stairs that's arguably more disgusting than a Red Eye
The timeline of this movie is pretty hard to follow tbh; much as I adore it, you never know every time a scene changes whether it's been two days or like 3 months
What the actual fuck was the whole yuppie poet thing about- it's like when I used to watch those 60s Frankie and Annette movies where the weirdest shit would just happen for no reason and I felt like there was some social commentary or inside joke or smth that was just going way over my head that, if I had existed in that time, would have just been like "oh yeah that makes total sense"
The amount of raw sexual energy that this man exudes- I remember someone's post from a while back that was like "why is Cocktail like a 'mom' movie that all the moms are still obsessed with" but just like imagine if you saw this in theaters when it first came out
The only man allowed to wear beach shirts and look sexy, change my mind
I've always thought Elisabeth Shue is so incredibly underappreciated as an actress, smth about her line delivery and expressions just seems very genuine and naturalistic idk
She just orders “a beer” WHAT KIND???
So scary tbh how much he was becoming like Doug even being apart from him for a while
The side eye and shade Jordan gives Doug in this scene cracks me up every time without fail
The reggae singer absolutely popping tf off in his silver lamé suit ✨
Brian and Jordan both pulling the “I’m not like other girls” lmao
Sure she’s lowkey a manic pixie dream girl but I still love her
WATCH THE ROAD WHILE U DRIVIN THE CAR BRIAN 😤
If this movie was remade in modern times (God forbid) Brian would 100% be one of those guys with a hustle culture boss up motivational entrepreneur Instagram account. And Doug would perhaps be one of those cringy creepy pickup artists that talks about low-value women and compares them to horses and thinks he can mind-trick them into falling madly in love w him
If someone was waking me up early every morning to drink carrot juice I would commit crimes
The artist guy who made that exhibit looks like the oiliest man I’ve ever seen
Jordan’s dad says “bartender” like it’s a slur
When Brian tears up the check it always makes my lil heart just 💗💫🥺 the character evolution
Why did I only have this thought on my like fifth viewing of this movie, but I wonder if he hadn’t escorted Kerry back to her apartment if he would have gotten back in time to save Doug, and then who knows what would’ve happened bc then he wouldn’t have felt compelled to tell Jordan how much he really loved her and ask Pat for help and all that
WHEN HE FIGHTS EVERYONE OFF TO GET TO JORDAN what can I say, I'm a sucker for grand and melodramatic romantic gestures and proclamations of love
The teasing and singing along at the wedding is getting a little too real guys stop making this awkward 👀😬
I don’t care how unrealistic the end is, and that in real life they would have 100% soon gotten divorced, bc I want to believe that people can change and that all of the tribulation was worth it + enough for Brian to become a good dad/husband and successful but with it not being above and at the expense of his family; he would be such a fun and chaotic dad and their life would be so hectic w twins but I want to believe they could do it :( it comforts my cynical and depression-addled brain to believe they could do it :(
#cocktail#cocktail 1988#tom cruise#elisabeth shue#80s#80s films#80s movies#movie review#movie ramblings
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TW!!!!!!!!! Violence and substances mentioned!!!!
THIS IS A VENT POST about something I went through that I've never told anyone before. I thought if i wrote it all out maybe I could work through it a little.
December 31 2022,
Me and my fiance at the time went to a new years party at our friend J's house and I invited one of my childhood friends. Everyone had been drinking and smoking w**d, but no one had gotten as drunk as my fiance.
When the countdown to midnight started we all went outside to light fireworks. My fiance was so drunk he fell off the porch twice, and had to be helped into a chair. He was angry and calling me names at this point, and he said he wanted to go home. We had gotten in some minor fights before where we threw things or pushed each other , I didn't want to escalate to that so I chose to not be in the same vehicle as my fiance.
J drove him while my friend and i followed behind in another car. They got my fiance inside and put him in bed. Everyone had left ( or so i thought).
I went to put a blanket over my fiance.. He got up and charged towards me. I calmed him down a little and he went to the bathroom, but shortly after came running out to charge at me again. He grabbed me by the wrists pushing me in no particular direction. After some struggle I pushed him onto the couch but he still had hold of my arms tightly. I was frozen with shock and fear. I kept repeating "its ok it's ok its ok" in a whisper to try to rationalize what was happening. The only other words i managed to say were "im sorry please I know its my fault" even though I didnt know what i was apologizing for. He kept trying to swing his fists and kick his legs at me for what felt like hours, but was luckily too drunk to really land any hits.
I managed to call J while still being held by my arms and told him I needed help. J responded with " just call the cops and let them take him". I didn't want him to go to jail and ruin his life... Our life. So i called his parents. They said I should "relax it cant be that bad" to which I screamed "come get your son or the cops will". They showed up 30 minutes later (they only live 10 minutes away) and didn't try to stop him at all.
Once I finally got away from him I hid in a gap between the stove and the counter. His parents let him run around trying to find me until he gave up and they got him in their car. I handed my engagement ring to his mom and she pushed it back towards me saying "just wait until tomorrow to make a decision". His parents tried to convince me to get over it multiple times until they left and took him with them.
I don't know if it was from the shock or just needing to get away, but i ran outside to the parking lot. My childhood friend had been in his truck trying to sober up before heading home, and saw me run out. After explaining what happened we went back inside to start cleaning everything that had been broken from the fight.
After putting the lamp back on the broken table with my busted pineapple clock, I fell to the floor and started sobbing. With no energy to move, i laid there in a crumpled ball all night while my friend sat next to me just listening to me cry... 11 years of tears and anger came out that night. All of the things I had held in for so long surfaced and kept pouring out uncontrollably.
Morning finally came, as my phone started ringing. "Why am I at my parents" he said in an angry tone. I explained to him what had happened ... "Bullsh*t that didn't happen, im coming home right now f*ck you dont lie to me". I begged him not to come home yet, i said I was scared and needed time. He stayed away for a week until he decided it had been long enough and once he came home he saw the bruises on my arms. they were so bad i had to wear long sleeves at work for a month.
In that month things escalated. Every time I tried to talk to him I'd end up screaming and manic but I didn't know why. He drank every day even though he promised he would go to AA and get help. He would try to convince me to stay the night with him and every time i did he would be mad I didn't want to have s*x. I just wanted to be held but that "wasn't fair to his needs".
Through all of this my friend was trying to get approved on a trailer for us to live in, and that just pushed my fiance over the edge, but I needed a break and didn't trust any of my other friends anymore to stay with them. After signing the lease my fiance would call me and yell for hours about how I was a wh*re ,and I deserved to d*e ,and how he'd str*ngle my friend and "h*ng him by his dreadlocks". Then he would switch to how he was sorry and that I shouldn't be with someone like him and that I deserved better. He would threaten to k*ll himself multiple times, he took pills so much i had to call his dad to make sure he was ok.
One day he called and said he was going to k*ll himself and sounded serious. I had my friend drive me to him as fast as possible while my fiance was screaming profanity at me over the phone the whole way. As I walked in he put a g*n to his head and said "look at what you've done". I panicked and started hitting his chest to try to get him to stop. Finally he put it down and said " sorry I'm not in my right mind" and convinced me he wouldn't do it if I stayed the night. I agreed (I'm an idiot). We laid in bed cuddling when he tried to convince me to have s*x again and got mad like usual because I didn't want to. He told me i was over reacting and that "its not like he r*ped me" so he didn't understand why i didn't want to have s*x. We ended up fighting the whole night until sunrise.
After that I didn't go back until the weekend was over. Upon entering the apartment I found condoms all over the bed, and some drawing clearly done by a girl on the kitchen table. I called him crying. He had been begging me to come back while he was f*king some other girl. The same days he said I was his soulmate and he loved me, he had another girl on our couch holding my cat, taking my home.
A few more days past and he messaged me saying that he was done. He told me I could keep the engagement ring because "he wanted his first love to always keep it", He said that he found someone and they made him happy. He said just because he's happy doesn't mean he doesn't miss me.. And that maybe other people needed us in their lives more right now.. He told me we could be friends.
August 5th 2023 came and he said that he wanted the engagement ring back and I needed to come get one last box of stuff. The box was full of my childhood pictures and all the love notes I'd written him.. Even the most recent one. I was crushed seeing him in person again. I saw his new girl through the window holding my cat in the apartment I picked out for us... I told him he had been my best friend and that I would always love him but he hurt me, to which he said "you'll get over it". This was not the man i loved for all those years.. This was a stranger. As my friend drove us back I broke down screaming and crying about how much i wanted to d*e. My friend just stayed quiet and let me get it out the whole way home.
Days turned into weeks and I was still crying. I still am and its been 124 days since I last saw him... I don't know if i cry because I miss him or if I cry because the pain he caused wont go away. I know I cry because I lost my cat, my baby. He took him after promising I could have him and I'll never be able to see his orange face ever again... This is what crushes me most, To the point that I've decided to not have children so I never have to be that attached to something or someone again.
Not even a week ago he blocked me on everything just so he could post pictures of his new girl. He hated taking pictures. He never let me post selfies of my own. I haven't made a post on regular social media in a year and I feel pathetic... I feel stupid for still feeling hurt over what he does. He promised to be my best friend no matter what, he broke every other promise so why would he keep this one..
Its been months since that incident and just now people from my friend group are reaching out to me to ask how i am. And to tell me how my ex has ghosted everyone for his new girlfriend. So since they don't have him they think they can be friends with me again. Ha! Yeah f*cking right. No one was there for me except the people i talk to now and I'm not going to let that go. They all had bad things to say about the person i live with now but couldn't be there when i needed help ? go jump off a bridge you f*cks.
No one in my old life cared. I could starve and cut and take dr*gs and they would tell me I needed to lose more weight or needed to take more dr*gs cuz I was too uptight. My ex didn't even care when I lost 40 lbs from not eating. He just told me i was stupid . He threw a hashbrown at me once and said i was ret*rded cuz it was just food and that i shouldn't be crying cuz I wanted to eat it but couldn't make myself.
Some days I see how bad my past was.. Other days im blinded by the good memories and cry because I wonder if I made the right choice. I lost my cat, my fucking baby, over all of this. I lost the person I called my soulmate and my best friend, the person i thought was going to hold my wrinkly hand when im old...the thought of losing that still makes me cry even now... and I lost my hometown because I ran away. But I have gained a lot too since leaving.
I've started dating the person i live with. He was there through it all and showed me just how amazing of a person he is. I always felt a connection but my love for my ex was always too strong to make me think of anyone else. But now I find myself becoming more attached to my new bf. I can be vulnerable. Even if he isn't the best with words or advice, he listens. He doesn't tell me to stop crying, he just holds me until i do. I didn't intend to love someone else so quickly, and i may not be fully healed but that's ok. I am building myself back up with him. And he is very patient. We have our own issues, every relationship does, but I feel like maybe i can get through this trauma a little easier when hes there. I'm afraid to ever be that connected to someone again though... I dont know if I'll ever trust someone the way i did with my ex.. I might never let myself fully love again. And that is my payment for loving someone deeper than the ocean. Guard your heart until you know the person you love will guard it for you. And treat every day like its the last you'll see your loved ones or pets.. Because for me it was. Knowing they're 30 minutes away and I'll never be able to see them again will forever be something i have to live with and work through... But it will hurt me until the day i die.
If you read all of this, i just want to say thank you. You took the time out of your day to read some strangers life story, which shows you care more than anyone in my life currently. You are awesome <3 feel free to message or follow, I follow back <3
#sad thoughts#tw depressing thoughts#selfharrrm#depressing shit#lost you forever#love you forever#love#romance#unloved#im unloveable#story#short story#ruined my life#worst decision of my life#life#my story#trigger warning ed#triggers#tw violence#tw guns#tw disordered eating#tw trauma
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Soooo I might have some more silly goofy BobMort writings that I want to share
Bob is down bad effective immediately :)
Bob Belcher was a silly guy with a lot of dreams. He stood in front of the apartment he was going to be renting. He was drawn to the building's bright green color scheme. He felt it was in a great location; the wonder wharf was just down the street, Bob could see the amusement park; it was full of people, people who had feet who also had mouths that would get hungry and eat at Bob's Burgers. Bob smiles thinking about serving some guy a burger. It gave him a warm feeling inside. He wanted to make people happy and serve them good quality warm food everyday. But it would be lying to say he wasn’t a little bit nervous. He worried about being too ambitious, or people not liking his food. Surely that won’t be a problem, at least Bob hopes. Everything was going to be great, Bob had his spunky girlfriend who has been supporting him throughout his entire restaurant journey there with him.
“Hey Bobby! There’s a crematorium next door, maybe people will want to mourn and eat your burgers! Mourning burgers.” Bob’s girlfriend, Linda said. She laughed.
Bob laughs. “M-maybe, we should probably start unloading the car.” He opens the door of his dingy car. “I can’t believe we fit everything in here.”
“I know, it’s like your car is bigger on the inside.” Linda laughs as she grabs a few boxes. “Looks like these go upstairs so I’ll start there.” She heads up the stairs of the apartment.
Bob also grabs a few boxes and heads up the stairs as well. He was already sweating.
“Bobby, we just started. You’re so sweaty.” Linda said.
“I know I-I have a problem.” Bob said as he set down the boxes and went back downstairs. Outside there’s someone humming walking by Bob’s apartment, Bob accidentally walks into them as he walks to his car. “Sorry! Sorry!” Bob frantically apologized.
“No! My apologies, I’m not used to anyone being here, especially not this early, and that apartment has been vacant for a while.” The man said while adjusting his glasses.
“Oh r-really well I’m actually moving in right now.” Bob said.
“Oh! Well it’s nice to meet you then! I’m Mortimer, you can call me Mort, I live above the crematorium next door.” He smiled; it was a very nice and charming smile. Like Bob could immediately trust this man with his life…weird.
“B-bob Belcher, I-I live here-wait you know that I’m sorry.” Bob stammered, he was never good at talking to strangers.
Mort wasn’t bothered at all by Bob’s awkwardness, he was awkward at times himself. “Would you like some help? Are you alone?” Mort asked.
“N-n-n-n-no! I-I don’t need any help. I’m not alone m-my girlfriend is u-upstairs! That’s not necessary! I-I’m ok.” Bob’s anxiety and nerves were rising so his stutter was becoming more apparent.
“Are you sure, you look a little pale? I don't mind lending a hand.” Mort said.
“Nope! Haha; not at all I don’t need any help.” Bob nervously laughs as he tries to pick up a box but he throws out his back, he drops the box yelping.
“God, you look like you're dying. Do you need me to drag you to my crematorium, I'll give you the neighbor discount.” Mort blurted out the joke before he could think to ask Bob if he was ok.
“W-what? Why are you saying that?” Bob asked.
“Sorry! My bad, mortician jokes” Mort laughs. “Do you need some help?”
“A little I threw out my back lifting this box” Bob Mort chuckles. Bob is charming. “I’ll give you a hand.” He takes the box from Bob, “where’s it going”
“J-just inside-u-upstairs..s-sorry.”
“Don’t apologize! I offered to help”
Mort struggles up the stairs. He’s already regretting offering his help, the box was heavy, he forgot he was out of shape as well. He's wheezing so hard as he reaches the top of the steps.
“I’m never offering to help a kind of cute stranger ever again” He says.
At the top of the stairs, Mort meets Bob’s spunky high energy girlfriend.
“HEY who are you and who are you calling cute?!” Linda immediately got defensive thinking he was talking about her Bob. Which he was.
Mort is mortified (PUN INTENDED) “Oh! No one, I was just talking to uh, myself! You must be that uh as mentioned cute guy that’s outside, Bob’s girlfriend.” Mort said, he probably shouldn’t have called him cute again but he really couldn’t resist. He chuckles nervously.
“I am! You’re right he’s very cute, but why are you up here carrying a box?” Linda asked.
“Oh! I ran into him, so I offered to help because he threw out his back but I forgot I’m not in good shape for this, might have to start planning my own funeral.” Mort laughs.
“Oh!” Linda laughs, not understanding the joke at first. “Aw, that’s so nice of you! But why are you planning your own funeral?”
“Oh! I’m a mortician next door at the crematorium!”
“OH!” Linda laughs loudly. “That makes sense, you’re funny, I like you.”
“Uh, thanks, I’m going to set this box down now before my arms fall off.” Mort sets the box down and goes back outside
“If that happens at least you’d get a discount at your crematorium!”
“That’s very funny.” Mort laughs.
The two of them head back downstairs outside with Bob.
“Bobby you didn’t mention a random dapper person was helping us unpack.” Linda said.
“Dapper?” She wasn’t wrong. “N-never mind that, he offered to help because I threw out my back, bu-but I’m fine.” Bob said.
“You better be, remember the time you tripped out the grocery store door and you broke your ankle!” Linda said.
Bob starts to blush. “Don’t bring that up! It was embarrassing shush, l-let’s finish unpacking.”
Linda laughs, she enjoyed teasing Bob and watching him get all flustered.
It takes a long time but between the three of them they are able to unpack Bob’s car.
“Th-thank you so much for h-helping us you didn’t have to do that.” Bob said.
“It was nothing!” Mort smiles. “Happy to help my new neighbor.”
“Hey! I didn’t catch your name.” Linda said.
“Oh! It’s Mort.”
“Well, would you like to come upstairs? Bobby makes really good burgers, we can unpack the kitchen and you could have lunch with us.” Linda offered.
“Gee..you two flatter me, I suppose what the hell, I can join you for lunch.” Mort said.
The three head up the stairs as they did.
Mort tailed Bob, he couldn’t help but notice that Bob was losing his sweatpants. He shouldn’t look but it wasn’t like it was avoidable, his ass was right in front of him, he had to look.
‘Oh, oh he has a really nice butt.’ The mortician thought as he kept his gaze on Bob’s butt crack.
They make it upstairs. It’s quiet for a moment.
“I-I’ll go start cooking.” Bob said while he finally noticed his butt crack was showing so he pulls his sweatpants up as he walks into the kitchen.
He finds his cooler that is full of everything he needs to cook burgers. He starts prepping at the counter carefully chopping tomatoes and lettuce. He finds a frying pan and prepares it for cooking. Turning the stove on low so that it could warm up.
Bob instinctively scratches his ass right before he begins cooking the burgers.
Back in the living room of the apartment Linda and Mort were talking.
“So, how long have you and Bob been in the area?” Mort asked.
“A few weeks; Bobby was looking all over town for a space to open up his restaurant, it’s been something he’s worked on for a long time.” Linda said.
“It smells awfully good in here already so I can’t wait until he opens his restaurant; we could use a good restaurant on this street.” Mort says.
“We’ve got a lot of work to do before we open, lucky you will know we’re open first because you're next door!” Linda said.
“I’ll be your first customer.” Mort said.
“Be sure to tell Bob that…he’s been stressed about that.” Linda said.
“I will.” Mort smiles.
Back in the kitchen with a scratch on his ass, Bob is finished cooking the burgers. He comes out into the living room where Mort and Linda sat. “I-I hope you enjoy the burger M-Mortimer.” Bob stammers.
“Thank you, I will it smelt great ever since you started cooking.” Mort said as they all started to eat their lunch quietly.
It was nice. Bob felt a sense of relief as he sat on the floor eating with a nice stranger with a pretty smile he just met. Something about him made Bob feel warm. Mort is still such a stranger to him but he felt safe looking at him. He didn’t understand why. It would be ridiculous to have a crush on him. Bob has a girlfriend that he loves; he can't do that. Or can he.
Lunch is over now. Bob didn’t want it to be over. He didn’t want it to be time for Mort to go home either. He wanted to get to know him more. There was so much to admire about the mortician. His dimples anytime he smiled, his emerald eyes sparkling as the sun hit them just right. His snort when he laughed too hard..boy Bob’s feelings were already getting all kinds of flustered and he barely knows the guy.
Mort didn’t want to leave either. He was drawn to Bob. The way his mustache collected all the crumbs from the food they just ate; His butt crack being exposed for so long before he noticed it. His dark soulful brown eyes, they were so captivating to Mort. He needed More of Bob.
Mort laughs awkwardly, “Well, it was really nice to meet you two! Bob I can’t even begin to describe how good that burger was, I don’t think I’ve ever had a burger that tasted as good as that one, and burgers aren’t my favorite, I don’t normally eat them but I’d eat yours everyday.” Mort said.
Bob was immediately floored by what Mort said about his burger, he was smiling, unable to contain himself he made a squeal stim noise.
“I-I’m so glad you enjoyed the b-burger! I hope I-I hope to uh, hah, maybe..s-see you when w-we open! Soon.” Bob stammered fidgeting.
“Oh you’ll definitely see me then Bob! Maybe even before, I go on brisk walks in the morning most days. If you’d like to ever join me I can knock.” Mort said.
“Y-yes! I mean, so-sorry.. I would..m-maybe like that Mort.” Bob said.
Mort laughs, admiring Bob. “Sure thing. I’ll see you then.” Mort takes his leave walking down the stairs and finally entering the crematorium.
“WOWZA. Mortimer, you are gay.” He said as he shut the door. “I’m going to be thinking about him for a while.”
Meanwhile back at Bob’s apartment Bob was having his bisexual awakening.
“Did you think I kept my cool Lin?” He asked.
“Sure you did.” Linda smiled.
“Oh my god Lin, I’m bisexual.” Bob said seemingly out of nowhere but it was to no shock to Linda, she knew this without him even telling her.
“Bobby, I knew that.” Linda laughed.
“You did?” Bob asked.
“I saw how you were acting around that cutie mortician.” Linda smirks nudging Bob playfully. “Besides you're always going on with me about hot male actors you didn’t think I would catch on.”
Bob snorts; “I love you Lin.” He kisses her.
“I love you too, my little player!” She joked.
“Don’t joke about that!” Bob laughs.
“Ya never know Bobby.” She kisses him.
She was right. Bob was still exploring his sexuality. The man knew he was bisexual, he’s known that since he kissed his first boy when he was in highschool.
He was wondering if he felt like he was more than that, his new found feelings for that mortician are giving him a lot to think about. The man is polyamorous, but he doesn’t know that yet. He’ll think about it later, for now he has a business to start and a girlfriend to kiss.
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merry xmas guys, be safe
It could be whatever I feel alone a lot even when I'm with someone I feel like I don't check in enough with self I would like to do better at checking in Maybe check out some journal prompts I feel bad about being a sw I feel guilty and shameful about asking men on the internet for help however the times that I needed money felt dirty too I felt as if I was being bent over a metaphorical barrel by life
Just existing after coming back to the UK (adter being forced into islamic boarding school in africa) without any parents or family to support me I felt like I had to make money to survive somehow Existing was expensive so many costs with no income streams, the only people I've told were doing the same thing or 'worse' selling and taking dr(u)gs, coincidentally the first proper lgbtqia+ group of friends I've ever met/lived with which honestly clouds my judgment of a whole group I'm a part of It really shouldn't, I honestly wish it didn't My representation of the 'community' or the one I now belong to, the chosen family rather than (over) my 'actual' (biological) family seems to be (is/) one just as dysfunctional, gaslighty and gatekeeping as the one I escaped and I felt like I had to do what I usually do, disengage, avoid, not share myself as freely to protect my energy, my fragile mental health (i want to build resilience) and become 'harsh' aka be stingy with my finances (it felt harsh whenever my mum/sister used to share anything they would leverage that thing, now I struggle to recognise I need help and hate asking for it) and I wish to be generous but with boundaries so it doesn't feel harsh, to have money for myself, my future house, my goals to build the life I want Everyone deserves happiness. Everyone Above happiness is peace, that is the goal I am part of everyone and my happiness matters Whether or not I am under or overweight, I matter and Everyone deserves to eat no matter what, it is a basic necessity. I didn't have the language to express to my ex, a communist mental health nurse, a person who worked in that (mine)field of psychology, that I was struggling in part due to psychosocial factors not just MH problems or home dynamic stuff w my brother, I was flat broke, not eating, not getting a good circadian rhythm, the pandemic started and I was struggling with picking up my meds on time, feeling worse than I've ever felt when off them, then the pressure of my uncle and getting to shifts, after there was a shooting there, being on public transport in peak covid, getting groceries and cleaning the house I had stopped talking to (broken up with my abusive ex best friend) around that time so honestly the lack of a support system or any one to talk to was getting to me with the icing being that fucking traumatising few days where I injured my hand, got sectioned with stitches in my finger, got drunk w few days after, stupidly thought to surprise him, got the long way by bus bc the trains were off, ended up getting there in some dark area I wasn't familiar with, Drunk, and at unsociable hours, I wrote a left handed Drunk note left it on his car and spent the night stranded at the station until the sun came up because the buses weren't running I forgive myself for not having the words that day or any time around that I forgive myself for drinking when I didn't have any other coping mechanisms or anyone to talk to I forgive myself for calling the police on my violent abusive sister because if I had any other way to manage that situation safely, if I could handle it, I would have, I didn't mean anyone any harm that day and I took back the statement very soon after even with my black eye
I refuse to live my life in the past, my actions back then when I had nobody to listen, or talk to, or feel warmth about aren't who I am or will be.
My past selves are not reflective of my whole future selves, I learned a lot of life lessons to apply. Not all good or all bad, shades of grey. I forgive myself for not having the language to express to my current partner how scared I am sometimes because of situations I've been through, don't want to ever repeat or what I've been told. I forgive myself for shutting down when I've been taught to be small, have no needs and stop talking. I am human I deserve to speak, my lack of words sometimes is not a lack of feeling. The opposite, when I feel I get scared they might make the other person reject me, it triggers my abandonment wound, as a kid I felt I needed my mum to guide, love, support me but she was her own depressed person with an abandonment wound herself, she is human and humans can make mistakes. Life lessons from my mum are not all good but they're not all bad, shades of grey. I have to know what I'm healing from in order to move on. I have the power to release myself from the shackles I put on myself, self limiting beliefs are the water getting into your ship to sink it. I want to keep scooping that negative energy out of my vessel, I want to mind my thoughts, think light thoughts and when life gets stormy I want to sit with myself in the rain until it feels safe to go in and find shelter. All I know is that now it hurts but it won't be forever, even when I hurt it's not all bad or all good, the hurt tells me what I don't like or need to change. The lessons that serve me I want to water, pay attention to, and the ones that don't will be politely discussed but politely discarded. Thanks but no thanks.
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i'm not going to address anything you said because they're valid points, but this:
Thanks for the ask! Also, your ask comes across as very mean girl and backhanded and condescending at times, so maybe you should keep that in mind. Your attempts to be genuine are overshadowed by your condescension, judgemental and backhandedness, unfortunately.
fucking hurts as someone who is also autistic. the reason i said you and your friends act like mean girls is because, like i said in the first ask, you guys are cliquey (definition: narrow exclusive circle or group of persons especially: one held together by common interests, views, or purposes). what i didn't add in the ask is that the memes you guys made of dani, and all that extra stuff, was in my opinion, mean girl behavior.
it doesn't have anything to do with tone, it's your actions. i can't read tone. not to be an autistic stereotype, but while i aced my math, grammar, science, and history ACTs, i bombed my english.
understanding tone is hard for me.
having autism, just like you, i can't "attempt" genuine. especially not over text. it's something im working on, but has plagued me my entire life. i wrote in my ask that i may sound hypocritical, because i wanted you to understand that i'm being genuine, since i know you have autism too. but just reading the words "condescending, judgemental, backhanded" hurts so fucking bad. like a slap in the face for just being who i am.
as someone with autism, i really don't understand why you would use say something like that.
To start off with the end of your ask, maybe I said something like that because you said the same thing to me and because that’s genuinely how you came across? Autistic or not, the way things are said & what things are said does hurt other people sometimes (which is why I personally sometimes use tone indicators or write a little note like “the caps dont mean im mind im just excited!!”)
And I mean, if memes are the issues that you have with that whole conflict and not dani’s weird rape apologist accusation comments or ableist comments, then sort your priorities out I guess? I personally don’t see the issue with making memes about someone who hates on your analysis and calls you weird shit. We make memes about dani, dani answers 15374849 different anons now and then/makes 15374859 different posts about how dumb henry analysts are, life goes on, it’s a symbiotic relationship. And also re: the clique thing, there’s nothing cliquey about it. Some people are closer than others. I’m low energy sometimes so I end up on chatting w people I know sometimes because that takes less energy (and when a bunch of random people accuse you of being pedophiles, it also tends to make you want to interact with random people even less.)
You’re gonna have to be more specific about actions then, because what you mentioned seemed to all be related to tone, and the action you listed re: the memes, like I said, I don’t think is a big issue. And hell, let’s both be autistic stereotypes- because i’m the opposite. I aced my english but cried through every math and science exam and bombed them! But even then, understanding tone is still hard for me too.
When I talk about attempting genuine, I’m talking mostly about how you’re making what seems like good-faith comments one second and then the next second comparing my analysis to a car wreck and saying it’s been disheartening or whatever to watch me and james etc go down this rabbithole. Do you not see how that comes across as non genuine/as hurtful? And RE; the hypocritical thing, I just applied that to the “being anonymous” part of it, because that’s all you mentioned re: hypocrisy.
And now you know what it felt like for me reading your ask. And now you know how you came across in that ask, and as much as it sucks, even when people like you and me don’t mean to come across as hurtful or condescending or “mean girls” sometimes, we still do and people still get hurt by it, even fellow autistic people as with what happened here.
Like I said, in the beginning, I said it because it’s how you came across, and I said it specifically because you were making a post about me coming across as mean, all while accidentally coming across as mean on your own. I wouldn’t have even brought it up if that wasn’t what your ask was about. There’s no slap in the face for being who you are, simply a matter of how what you said came across & how sometimes things don’t come across well despite the best intentions. Like i said- how would you take it if I sent you an anon where one second i was saying that your posts got me into analysis etc and the next second i was saying that something you really enjoy (going down analysis rabbitholes) was like a car wreck? I don’t think you’d appreciate it very much, and I think it would come across as confusing and backhanded, which is how what you sent came across to me.
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Hey Tae and hey last anon! This gonna be long :
Anon...THOSE ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE!!!PERIODT!!!
Sis,when I was reading your message,I saw soooo much of my OLD self in it(years 2012-2021 to be exact).I WAS that woman who was ALWAYS there for EVERYONE no matter how I was treated in return.I would ALWAYS come up with excuses when it came to the treatment of being treated as if I WASN'T important in other people's lives. I would be like...oh,well MAYBE they are busy and have a lot going on? Because that's life and all of us go through shit even if it's not mentioned. But man,listen! I was really playing BOO BOO THE FOOL! Two of my EX bestfriends got away with soooo much because I knew they really were going through so I let things slide then they started skating on a bih! Lol. I heard the same excuses... I got a lot going on,I forgot to call you back man you know my memory bad,I thought you probably didn't want to talk,I know you hate talking on the phone,I was depressed,you could've called me,I lost your number etc.
Like,say what? I was there for both of them when I barely had and was struggling to get on my feet!Even when one of them was locked up(he was the most ungrateful and in the end thought he was better than me, picture that,lol) and the others mom passed/he was jobless and without a home,I WAS THERE TEN TOES DOWN because that's what real friends do!
I provided money,years worth of time, support and inspiring them daily to not lose their shit!I tried to get my guys to eat better etc.
While I was working two sometimes three jobs six days a week,mom battling cancer,uncle ill, catching cabs to and from because my car broke down, depressed for real, struggling with being bipolar,hair coming out ,skin breaking out etc.
Meanwhile,they would NEVER text or call me to check and see how I was,my mom,NOT NOTHING!
I felt worthless and was considering suicide!I had no one to turn to other than talking to God and my sweet mama.
I woke up one morning and said fuck it!Fuck my so called friends and fuck my mindset!I told myself it was time to make a change in EVERY part of my life and I did!
I deleted their numbers and blocked them on social media including a couple others.I focused on myself for seven months.I lost weight(85 lbs),got my money up, credit right,fell in love with ME and met amazing people.I even got started with real estate.When I think about that I laugh.WHY?Because one of my EX friends is the one who made it seem like I wouldn't make it in real estate because he knew more than me and at the time,had more connections than I did.GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE I'M JUST GETTING STARTED AND ABOUT TO PURCHASE LAND! 😩🤭😂
It's crazy how life will turn around in a positive way once you release what's not meant for you and also FOCUS ON YOU!
What's also even more crazy is more than likely you will cross paths with those SAME people who treated you like shit and took you for granted once you really get your life together!
And when that happens,still SAY FUCK EM!Ain't no spinning the block on a REAL good person who IS genuine and did EVERYTHING out of love and NEVER counted them favors!You'll see what I mean baby girl!Release everyone who makes it seem as if you're too hard to love or show up for!Nothing is wrong with you!I wish you the best with EVERYTHING!and once again,FUCK ANYBODY WHO DON'T POUR INTO YOU LIKE YOU DO THEM. Leave them where they had you fucked up at boo! PERIDOT!!! 😉
me, cackling through the mssg 😂:
yall are hilarious!
And thank you for this thoughtful response.
Youve caught on to something really empowering & often hard to see at times like this.
Our love and care are powerful.
Pouring out for ppl who only take (regardless of the reason) will drain you. Not just during those interactions, but draining you of energy that could make a real difference in your own life.
Creating boundaries w ppl, like blocking them on social media, closes that drain.
We decide how long we suffer w bad friends. We need our own friendship deeply, before anyone else.
i love yall sm
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okay so i got inspired by mitski’s pink in the night “i know I've kissed you before, but I didn't do it right. can I try again, try again, try again?" cause i can’t go a day w/o making scenarios and thinking abt adrian and this is what i have so far and it’s long whoops
so one of adrian’s coworkers throws a party and he asks the you to be his date. to make it believable he kisses u in front of them but he makes it a little to real and passionate, u not giving the same energy and it never leaves ur head till he drops u off. u invite him inside cause ur both tipsy or something so ur both just rambling on the floor and u ask if that was the first time he kissed someone in a while. u felt bad for not returning the same passion and u just crawl towards him asking if he wants to try again and he’s trying not to lose it as u do so. it’s just a messy/heartfelt confession and soft loving from them
Omg Nat, you have such lovely ideas and I am more than happy to write this, so sorry it took this long for me to get it out but hey, it's here and it's ready! Thank you again for sending this in, I really appreciate it~ I hope you like it!
"Nights In White Satin"
》MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT《
Pairing: Vigilante x GN!Reader Rating: Slightly Explicit; drinking, partying, creep being a creep to the reader, Adrian being a soft boy, soft sex, making out, groping, just all of it Length: 3.6k
His hand tapped on the tabletop with the cleaning rag right beside him, his eyes peered down at the phone and he truly wondered if he should just say fuck it and do it, of course, he didn't want to go to this party alone, he'd done that too many times before and it always made him feel different afterward. But then you showed up and he actually had someone he wanted to bring to a stupid little party like this, so he finally bit the bullet and messaged you.
Hey, it's Adrian, I was wondering if you wanna go to a party with me this Friday, you don't have to if you don't want to, but it would be great to have you there! :)
Once he sent it, he grew more and more flustered by the thought of having you attend with him. For a long while now, he'd been harboring a huge crush on you and really didn't try to hide it as good as he thought he was, it was obvious to everyone in the room. Except you. You loved being around Adrian, truly, he always made you feel like you were on top of the world and always made you laugh. But you had been so nervous about liking him that you weren't sure if he'd feel the same way toward you. You figured he was just always outgoing with people, that was his personality, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary.
When you messaged back with a 'hell yeah, I'll go!' He fist-pumped in the air and danced happily at the workstation. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough and he had to make sure it was perfect, play it cool, and make sure you had a good time. He messaged back that he'd pick you up around 7 and that he was excited to go with you.
During the rest of his shift, that's all he could think about was the party. He wasn’t exactly planning on going in the first place so now there was the job of finding something to wear. Sure, he could wear the usual stuff but would you show up looking your best? Your most casual? He needed to find something to wear, dammit.
He got home that night still high from the thought of being able to hang out with you after work, just having a blast and taking shots, getting as drunk as possible, and having a great time. All he wanted to do was let loose, you all deserved this.
So when Friday rolled around, Adrian was incredibly nervous as he pulled up to your place and stared at the front door. When you walked out wearing just a graphic tee shirt and your most comfortable pants, just looking absolutely lovely. He almost didn’t even bother to get out of the car to open your door for you, but he caught it last minute and helped you into the car.
“Here you are,” he grinned and released your hand.
You scoffed and watched as he slid into the driver's seat. “You look nice Adrian, didn’t think you had a button-up shirt in your closet. Very impressive.”
Adrian smirked and turned the engine over, his eyes peeked at you over the rim of his glasses. “Well I have a few surprises left in me, I guess. But thanks, Y/N, you look… uh, very nice, too.” He wasn’t sure how to exactly speak to you when he wasn’t at work interacting with you, it was kind of awkward when he had literally nothing for conversation to fall back on like random work bullshit.
Your hand reached for the dial of the radio and you looked at him hopefully. “Is it cool if I play some music?”
“Oh hell yeah, absolutely, go for it.”
You smiled and clicked the dial on, your fingers searched through the stations until a song you found fun to bop your head along to began to play. “So have you been to a lot of parties like this?”
“Ahh, well, yeah I’ve been to a few before, some guys from work always love to get absolutely wrecked on the weekends. I mean, I never really was invited to one of these, I just kinda show up when I hear ‘em talking about it.”
Another fit of laughter followed and you shook your head as you watched the scenes pass by, your heart pounded wildly against your chest as you sat beside the man you had a crush on for well over a year. He hadn’t been the easiest to get to know personally, he would always blow off personal conversations with the most random topic he could think of and went with it for as long as you let him, but that’s just how he was.
“Oh, well I guess we’re both gonna crash this one, huh? I’m down but have you ever done this before?” You shied away from the conversation and went silent, which Adrian didn’t pick up on so he continued to talk for you. “I remember one summer they were talking about a party at Sam’s old place, he used to work at Fennel Fields before he got into a car accident. But his place was so crazy huge, had a pool and everything. Some asshole figured jumping off the second-story porch was a great idea, which I thought it totally was, and he completely missed because he drank waaaay too much."
"Wait, what happened to him?" You asked, suddenly interested in the story.
"What, the guy who jumped? Oh, he ended up comatose for like, MONTHS after that. No one knew who he was either, he just kinda showed up with someone else who knew Sam. That's why they tried to keep it tight and only invited a few people."
"So you somehow get in every time?" You smirked at him and shifted in your seat, sitting back more comfortably.
Adrian laughed and tapped the steering wheel along to the beat of the song that played. "Oh yeah, I'm never verbally invited but I know they just kinda forget and I know they mean to, they always let me in." He looked over at you and the look on your face made him freeze; the way you stared at him as if he was one of the most interesting people you've met made him feel awkward. It was like there was too much attention brought to him and he tried to shift the conversation again, but thankfully you guys pulled up to the house.
It looked noisy and so many people were already scattered everywhere across the yard, lights were flashing and music was blasting so loud you felt the vibrations of it beneath your feet once you entered the party. Adrian stuck close to you as you looked around curiously and just people watched.
"Want me to get you a drink?" Adrian asked as he leaned close.
"Sure!"
He smiled and took off toward the kitchen where the keg was along with dozens of bottles of liquor sitting across the counter. He came back with two red solo cups in his hands and handed you one, he happily drank from his own and smiled wide.
Suddenly a guy walked up to you and gave you that dreaded look you knew and feared. "Hey there," he called over the music, "you here with someone?"
"Uh yeah!" You pointed over to Adrian who had been holding onto his cup a bit too tightly. "I'm with him!"
The guy scoffed and looked at him and then back at you. "No, really, you with anyone here?"
Adrian stepped up toward him, his face set into a scowl. "They said they’re with me, asshole. Now leave ‘em alone."
Obviously, he didn't get the idea and continued to harass you, still not taking your word for what it was. "No one wants to hang around that dweeb on purpose, so how much is he paying you?"
You looked up at this stranger completely disgusted with the way he treated both you and Adrian, and it was another reason you didn't like coming to these things. "Fuck off, asshole."
The guy laughed and placed his hand on your wrist, but Adrian was too quick to act and slapped his hand away from you before he was able to get ahold of it. He stepped up to Adrian with the intent of wanting to swing his fist at him, but he stopped short. Adrian didn't even flinch.
"Don't ever touch me," he warned.
"Then don't touch them," Adrian snapped in return. "Now let us enjoy the party, Dan." He drew out the man’s name with seething intent.
"Bet they ain't even with you, dweeb."
Adrian was frustrated and looked over at you, and your eyes were already on him, you just wanted to chill out and enjoy the party without drawing attention to yourselves, but Adrian wasn't thinking when he suddenly pulled you into a kiss. His lips felt so incredible against yours but you were too stunned to kiss back while he had been so into it. Fuck, you messed this up so badly, but when he pulled away, Dan scoffed and walked off, leaving you alone. Adrian turned back to you and you saw panic in his eyes.
"Shit, I'm so sorry I just didn't want him to be a huge pain in the ass anymore. I should have asked or something, fuck."
"Adrian, it's fine, thanks for standing up for me, I… I really appreciate it. Thank you."
He softened a little and smiled, though his nerves were still on edge. "Yeah, you're welcome. But still, I fucked up and I’ sorry, let me get you another drink, yeah?"
You took a few more sins of your drink and tried to forget all about your encounter with Dan, you just wanted to try and salvage what was left of this evening, so you dragged Adrian over to a large group of people where they were dancing. A DJ had been playing some amazing songs and fusing them together like it was a club-going experience. Drink after drink between you two was had, all you could do was laugh and dance as your world around you began to spin. The lights across the ceiling began to twinkle a lot brighter than you remember, and suddenly time had passed and the party was over.
You both felt kinda disappointed but had shuffled out in your drunken stupor, you hung onto Adrian's arm as you giggled at him trying to work his phone.
"Fuck, I can't even remember where we are, what's the address? I can't— shit, I can't drive like this." He laughed hysterically and tried to type it in again. "Ahh damn, okay got it, we are getting an Uber. We'll go to your place first, yeah? Here, type it in."
You snickered and grabbed the phone but sat down on the curbside to be able to focus on getting the numbers in. After all of that, you both sat there and waited for the car to come and grab you both, but for now, you had tried your best not to fall asleep on Adrian's shoulder.
"Oh man, don’t fall asleep right here, I can’t guarantee I’d remember to grab you when the Uber pulled up,” he joked, “plus I don’t know if I’m gonna remember how to get home. I can’t even remember my address right now to be fucking honest, so how this is gonna go down is kinda out of my hands.”
You giggled and shook your head at how he sounded so hilarious as he slurred his words. You tried your best to keep your head up as you looked over at him and tried your best to process your experiences this evening. It’s been a while since you had been at a gathering with so many people, it was still such an incredible night and you had Adrian to thank for that.
“You know, you can alwayssss like, crash at my place, Adrian, I don’t think you’ll make it that long in the car.” You groaned as you moved, your legs stretched out before you as your head grew heavy once again.
Adrian sat there and tried to think, it hurt him to do so right now, so he just muttered something and sighed. “I mean yeah, why not, right? Better to continue to party!”
You were both picked up and tried to be on your best behavior in the car, but the driver paid you both no mind, he figured you were just some college kids
Having way too many. But you both needed this night, it had been tough for you both in very different aspects and a night to let loose was exactly what you needed. The driver pulled up to your place not even ten minutes later and you had tried your best to pull Adrian with you out of the car, but he dragged behind and you both finally got inside after much effort.
The door was pushed open to reveal a clean house, things that you found cool lined the shelves along with some books and movies, and a random plant or two— though you wouldn’t tell him they were fake since you had killed many a plant in the past.
“I like your place, it’s nice,” Adrian commented as he grabbed onto the counter that was closest to him. “But uh, you got any beer here? I didn’t think about that.”
“I got a few, but my main collection is on that top shelf above the sink. What’s your poison, Adrian?”
He scoffed and straightened slightly. “Yeah okay, how abouuuuut some Jack, you got any of that?”
“Comin’ right up,” you popped the ‘p’ and grabbed for the bottle on your tiptoes, but your footing was off and the bottle almost fell, yet there was Adrian with your arm in one hand and the bottle in the other. “Oh, well shit, that was lucky.”
Adrian released you and placed the bottle on the counter as he blushed, his face already warm from the booze but the heat began to intensify whenever you’d look at him like that. Fuck, he had it bad for you and didn’t even know how to mention it. It had been months of him hiding the way he felt, and even then, he wasn’t entirely sure how to really describe it when he would have to be face to face with his emotions. So instead of talking to you about it, he grabbed the bottle and collapsed on the floor, and leaned back against the counter, then he began to continue the party.
“We need some music, don’t you think?” you smiled and began to play some on your phone as you joined Adrian on the floor beside him. You could tell there was something weighing heavily on his mind but he didn’t share it, maybe it was something you didn’t want to push him for, so instead, you swirled the bottle in your hands and watched the liquor splash around. “Ya know, Adrian when you kissed me tonight…”
He groaned and looked over at you, his head hanging as his shoulder supported its weight. “I really am sorry about that, Y/N, I really didn’t mean to be so impulsive like that— although you did taste pretty good, you use chapstick or something?”
You laughed and waved your hand dismissively. “Adrian, I didn’t really mind. You know, I actually wanted to apologize.”
He looked at you in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“Well, I didn’t really return it as well as I wanted to, I was kinda caught off guard and I wasn’t expecting it, but I mean…” You trailed off and tried to articulate your thoughts.
“What are you trying to say, Y/N? You’re saying you WANTED to kiss me?”
You smiled up at him and set the bottle off to the side, then you crawled over to him, and the sight of you on your hands and knees as you made your way over to him had sent a jolt of realization through him that he had wanted you so fucking badly. “Adrian, what I'm trying to say is, I really wanna try again with that kiss, if you want to.”
“Holy shit, I mean, yeah obviously I want to but I just don’t wanna do this if you—”
“I want to, Adrian, so badly, please? Truth is I’ve liked you for a while now, and I was so scared to tell you, I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship in case you didn’t like me. But when you invited me out, saved me from that asshole for a guy, it made me realize that just maybe you liked me back?”
He sat there and for once in his life had nothing to say in return to you, at least, not for a moment. He was frozen to the spot on the floor and his hand gripped the bottle so hard he thought it’d shatter in his grip.
“Y/N, dude, are you kidding me? You’re like one of the hottest people I’ve ever seen! You’re hilarious as hell, and you’re always so nice to me? It’s just overwhelming sometimes and I can’t function with you around, not like I normally can. And it’s just so confusing to me, but shit, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel something for you… but still, you wanna… you wanna try that kiss again?”
As you sat back on your knees, you reached out your arms to show him you still wanted this, you needed this as much as he did, and so he abandoned the bottle and took you in his arms instead. The next few moments were all just a jumble but you wouldn’t have traded it for anything, especially when your hands were suddenly all over each other in a blurry mess of alcohol and bad decisions, but it didn’t matter to either of you. His mouth had found its way to your neck while his hands slid under your shirt and groped you everywhere, his nails dug into your skin as you ground your hips against his, his erection painfully obvious to the both of you.
“Fuck, babe, seriously you are just the most delicious thing I ever set my eyes on,” he groaned against your skin.
You bit your lip and threw your head back, your eyes fluttered shut as you just soaked in the growing heat that built up in the pit of your stomach, but you didn’t want to move too quickly with him, although he was making it quite difficult to keep your wits about you.
“A-Adrian, fuck, you feel so good right now, I can’t—”
He pulled away in confusion and stared up at you, his hands stilled where they were. “Can’t what?”
“I-I just don’t want to do this if we’re drunk, you know, I mean what if you regret your choices in the morning?”
He pulled you closer in his lap and stared at you over the top of his glasses. “You’re kidding, right? Like I’d ever regret this shit, like, EVER. Come on, you gotta understand this, Y/N, I’ve had my eye on you since I can remember, and man, I gotta say you have the sweetest ass I’ve ever—”
You laughed and cradled his face in your hands as you tried to get through the distorted thoughts in your head, the alcohol slowly but surely catching up with you. “Me too, I wouldn’t regret it, but how about we save this for tomorrow when we wake up, that way I can remember every minute of it.”
He pulled you into another kiss, hungry and heated while his hands continued to roam your bare upper half, but he respected that and tried his best not to delve too deep into your makeout session until there was no point of return, but even as you both sat there panting heavily with plump lips from all the kissing, you were feeling so relieved and ecstatic. Never had you thought a simple house party would have led to something like this?
You both had continued your session on the floor and laid there pressing kisses to different places along your bodies, and you had whispered sweet nothings to Adrian in his ear, watching his face twist into something that craves more and more, but somehow you had both ended up making it to your bedroom. You didn’t exactly mean for it to happen, but there was a moment where Adrian kissed your shoulder and it sent chills down your spine, the moan that spilled forth was unexpected, but he was so hard from hearing you that it just happened.
He was on top of you, hovering over your body as he fucked into you, asking you— “are you okay, does this feel alright?” He was worried and made sure that you enjoyed every moment of it, he could barely hold back the sounds that tore from his mouth as he fucked you. Slow and soft movements as his tongue lavished you with each lick against your throat, his kisses tickled the sensitive parts of your flesh while your legs wrapped around him tightly.
“Fuck, I could hear you say my name forever,” he huffed as he thrust into you again, feeling you pulling him in as your thighs squeezed his waist.
And you did say it over and over again until you both were spent and met your end, his head sweaty and warm rested on your chest as you lay there, your hand weakly caressing his dampened hair. You both fell asleep like that after a while, Adrian still mumbled in his sleep about you, you found it endearing as your hand slowed with its motions and rested gently on the back of his neck.
"Mhmm, yeah yeah, fuck I love Yahtzee," he muttered softly.
You scoffed and easily drifted off right after.
#tinalbion writings#adrian chase#vigilante#adrian chase x reader#adrian chase imagine#adrian chase headcanons#adrian chase fanfic#vigilante x reader#vigilante imagine#vigilante headcanons#vigilante fanfic#oneshot#peacemaker hbo max#adrian chase oneshot#vigilante oneshot
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Hello, dear :) I hope u r okay. Can I request quote 19 from your recent list? With Changkyun, please. I would like a little angst with a fluffy ending. Tysm for your work ❤️❤️❤️
Hi my love, thank you so much for your request! i hope, you like this im sorry for this not having a fluffy ending i was so immersed so if you don’t like it please let me know and i will write you another one.. (feedback is very much appreciated, if you don’t like it and if you like it)
im really unsure about this so i hope it’s good
i never proof read what i write bc as soon as i re read what i wrote, i immediately hate it and delete it. so scusi for any typos.
19. “If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.” - Changkyun
it was too cold to even say a word as the piercingly pain shot through your body. it felt like a thousand knives hitting the thousands of emotions that were inside you as they started to bleed.
your voice was even too sore to scream but all the energy left inside you made you take control of what was left for you.
“please, i’m begging you, please, he’s all that i have” you sobbed and with the last strength you tried to pull him out of the officers tight hands.
“miss please let go before we have to escort you out as well”
your arms were strongly grabbed by an police man that was coming behind you, holding you while they escorted your boyfriend into the car.
“miss we have to take you with us for a few questions” you pulled yourself away from the police man and ran to the car, trying to open the door and hitting the glass.
“please open, please please i’m begging you. he did nothing wrong please”
the engine of the car turned on and the only thing you saw was changkyun mouthing ‚i love you‘ before the car started driving away. you tried your best as you run behind it, falling on your knees as you cried out.
that was the only memory you had on this day, and you still don’t know what exactly happened until this date. so fast but so slow.
you opened an envelope, the fifth one this week as you scanned over it.
‚my dearest‘ this is how the letter started. unable to continue you placed the letter back on the table next to your coffee.
you sighed, rubbing over your face once more and when you eyes fell on the small box filled with letters you started crying softly.
3 years and 7 month, that’s how long you’ve kept the very first letter that’s in the box and from this, the letters piled up from week to week.
grabbing the letter from the table you started reading again.
‚my dearest, my love, the only thing that’s in my mind,
i don’t know how to start this letter, even though i always have something to write about that happened in my day. but i feel like this time i don’t really want to tell you about my day.
all these years have felt like a bad dream that i am just not waking up to. no matter what i’m doing it’s always the same bed, the same cell, the same people around me, the same four walls.
i cannot describe you how empty i’m feeling that this has gotten out of control. this was never something i wanted you to see. this was never the life for you, my love.
i feel like this is even to late but i’ve come to the realization that i am ruining your life with this. almost 4 years, and you cannot even visit me. the letters i write to you, the only thing that’s still keeping us from ending it all. i know that you’re reading them and i know that your reading this as well with the strength that’s left in you. i know.
i just wish i could stop your pain and hold you again. smell your sweet perfume and finally feel whole again. finally feel like a human who has his life together and you by my side. but i will probably never have the chance to. it’s not my right to mentally hold you hostage in my heart.
please understand that i would still, with my whole being, do everything and anything for you. i’d shake the world for you but my love, my dearest this has to stop.
i can not longer go to sleep knowing that you would wait another 10 years for me, ruining your life for someone like me. this is not how you are supposed to live. this is not the fate that was destined for you.
i will, maybe one day, come out of here and continue with my life but i will be another man. a man that was forgotten by the world, a forgotten soul. and i do not want you to wait at the gate for me. i do not want you to have my outcome as a goal in your life.
that’s why this will be my last letter to you.
so baby, go ahead, live your life, be the greatest person you already are and strive to be better, enjoy the life that was designed for your heart.
i will still have you in my heart but you will be free and i know, i know that it’s not going to be easy for you. but i want you to try. i know this is hard but please promise me to keep me next to your heart as well.
because if you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.
forever your heart,
changkyun‘
the letter fell from your hands as you pushed your knees further to your face and sobbed harder, wondering how much more you would have to cry until you’re dried out and pass out on the floor.
and once again it felt like a thousand knives hitting the thousands of emotions that were inside you as you felt your body started to bleed this time, it tried to bleed all of your sadness away.
#monsta x#monsta x drabble#monsta x imagines#monsta x fluff#changkyun#monsta x reader#monsta x scenarios#monsta x angst#changkyun x you#changkyun drabble#changkyun imagines#changkyun scenarios#changkyun smut#changkyun au#changkyun x reader#changkyun angst#changkyun fluff
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