#I just felt for the sake of this post it was better to use creators who've left/disappeared to illustrate the point

[kikizoshi]

I feel like the best way to see the difference between the old Godos fandom and the new Godos fandom is to watch lemorgo's Bernadette animation, then watch Creantzy's. They're vastly different in ways that I feel reflect the fandom's change as a whole.

When lemorgo made theirs, there were a lot more of the Godos childhood origin fics. It was a time of Darke_Eco_Freak, Seven Sins to Hell (Seven Steps to Heaven), Rattus Rattus. It was Godos smoking on chilly rooftops and lounging around in old mansions. We used Goncharov and Pushkin.

And now we have new fics. We have Buckadeer, intense religious journeys, more psychological perspectives on Godos' relationship, and so, so many 'Nikolai kills Fyodor' fics. We have Creantzy's comics and Elis' analyses. We use Sigma and Fukuchi.

And while all of these changes could be written about and noticed in-depth, I feel that simply watching the two animatics side-to-side really encapsulates the changes in a way that words just never can.

[thecoolerliauditore]

on one hand, very glad my suspicions of burnout and gimmicks as a result of fear of losing viewership were wrong at least as far as we know. im glad the CCs are having fun and their enjoyment is being prioritized, even if i am still not entirely convinced everyone's on the same page.

on the other hand, it's melancholic but this is pretty much the nail in the coffin in me having any interest left in future installments of the series. for those of you concerned: I am forever haunted by my brain diseases and will be continuing to post, write and draw 3L - SL for the rest of my forseeable life (plus completely disconnecting from any need I feel to interact with WL and beyond leaves me with more time to work on. certain larger scale projects I have had plans for)

i respect grians decision-making and he would know better than me how to run a youtube series, however I do question how much of an oxymoron it is to not care about viewer feedback for a youtube series run on viewership (and when so many of the recent behind the scenes decisions we've been privy to - such as Scar and Grian's hesitancy to team up based on comments calling them "boring" -- imply the opposite regarding the cast's mindset). it makes me concerned for the longevity of the series going forward, since those not happy with the direction that I've seen have all been very passionate and old fans, but I've also seen an equal if not louder support for this season, so I digress.

Part of me wonders how much of the "we want last life 2" sentiment (<-- something I've previously spoken about how I don't agree with) the cast has been exposed to, since it felt strange to me that it was even bought up. I have had a thought about this and the consequences of "don't maintag your negativity" e.g. the reasonable people know to hide their critical posts, and what that leaves a creator with are the unreasonable people, and if it's only that feedback that gets processed, then inevitably things tend to go in weird directions. Were any of us actually "tired" of Desert Duo interacting? Were any of us mad at Gem for killing Grian in SL?

It's frustrating to see crit posts get flagged down with accusations of disrespecting or attacking the CCs, or "we don't want you here anyway, just leave," when myself and all the people I've spoken to being not avid haters but rabid fans who feel frustrated and actively want to continue liking the series. Not to mention most of the people also being active members of the fandom ontop of that -- we claim that fanart is important and makes the series even more special than it already is, yet people seem more than happy to sacrifice that just for the sake of not seeing critical opinions.

t-shirt that says blah blah blah. but I reserve the right of feeling disappointed.

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

I knew you'd like the idea >:3

Just imagine the characters having an intervention meeting without the creator and they bring THAT up and the notebook along with it and the entire room just goes to silence and no one know how to bring the fact that close to half of the deaths later on were of their own creator's hands.

You're right though, I def think that Sumeru would actually make the problem worse and potentially cause a relapse in which case another nation takes over and Sumeru is seen as worse or inferior for causing more pain to the creator (like the little hypocrites they are smh)

Imagine there's some pages on the old notebook of just describing how they felt and the reader can see the slow descent to madness as each death happens and it's like forbidden knowledge for them to the point that it actually like becomes risk of being lethal, so they kinda stop looking into it and just try their best to heal their creator and just leave the skeleton in the closet, per say.

I forgot to put my little thing on the last post but here it is again! I have way more ideas for sagau that i will probably never get to write so i'm happy to share them!

🍌anon

🍌 anon I want you to know that I am eating everything up cause MY GOD THE WAVELENGTHS WE'RE HAVING AAAAA

And ohhhhh ohhhhhh forbidden knowledge, your brain rn omg. CHRIST ALMIGHTLY

Some of the notes would actually be forbidden knowledge, especially if we're talking the early ones and if the creator was isekaied before Sumeru's archon quests. Omg- NO ONE CAN READ THE FIRST COUPLE OF EDITIONS, besides for Traveler-

Wait....this just made me realize something. I FORGOT TO EVER THINK ABOUT THE TRAVELER, WHAT ROLE WOULD THEY EVEN HAVE??? OH GOD HOW COULD I OVERLOOK THIS WAIT

Putting a pin in that for later (slamming my head against the wall over this)

But yeah Traveler is probably the one that creator would be closest too, because they have to be the first ones (besides Nahida or Neuvillette) to know the truth. So when the notebooks are found they're the only ones allowed to read it. So they would be at the meeting and conveying what is necessary but also keep the important parts our for the sake of the creator's privacy and to keep the forbidden knowledge from infesting again.

What probably keeps them at an advantage is the language creator uses can only be read by Traveler since Teyvat's language is usually translated for us in game in our own languages.

And also yes Sumeru would be worst, glad we agree. BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE OF THE AKADEMIYA, Azar fucking sucks and would never understand. BUT- if we're talking with Alhaitham being the acting leader then there's a higher chance for them. Especially with the other Sumeru characters being there, and Nahida!! Nahida would be a godsend since she obviously would have the most knowledge, both known and unknown, and also would be able to peer review others ideas based on when she's read the memories of the creator (poor baby got traumatized tho-)

PLUS! Kuni (Wanderer name I use, making sure that's known) being our body guard, ain't no way creator is dying even if it is their wish. Combine that with Cyno also on guard duty and you got a chance of healing way better then whenever Azar (fuck that guy seriously) was in charge.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Regarding noncon and dubcon content..

Trigger warnings to those who feel uncomfortable with the mention of the topic even though some of the terms are censored.

Recently I've seen a lot of content regarding the noncon and dubcon content and though I do interact and like some of them.. the lacking of tags and warnings is extremely concerning. Yes I know that some people are into cnc however some of these are out of hand. I also don't promote it in my page.

I've seen a few straight up romanticizing abuse and my gosh was seeing my comfort character so out of character worse than forcing myself to finish "It Ends With Us" by Coleen Hoover.

I'm glad @shoukiko spoke up about the matter and that @puff0o0 has been helping comfort those of you have been traumatized by this kind of writing. Everyone should be aware of their internet consumption, this especially applies for writers who should also be aware of what they're putting out there and labeling accordingly.

I also saw in puff's recent post of a requester asking for comfort hcs and god do I feel bad for those people who have suffered seeing that kind of content. Soon I might write some comfort hcs of CoD characters in a relationship, LIKE A GENUINE, REALISTIC (?) ONE OF NORMAL PEOPLE IN A RELATIONSHIP. Not anything that has to do with them being a r***st, ab***r, pr*d***r or any of the sort.

Because I've seen a few posts like saying that was their actual hcs of these characters especially a lot of straight up of the ch*ld p*rn, r*p* and I have never felt more disgusted, revolted, sick and shocked in my whole life seeing what they wrote and seeing how serious it was..

If you see it, DO NOT HARASS THOSE CREATORS, DON'T EVEN INTERACT IN A NEGATIVE WAY. If you wish to confront then do it the civil way, all the bullying and death threats are not necessary or welcome. You all should know better than that and should be far more mature.

This isn't directed to anybody or to any means, you do you if you want to read that content however it's uncomfortable, even disturbing for most people.

I understand that writing is an art and it's free for everyone but please for the sake of some people, do add tags, trigger warnings and just warnings in general. This also applies to those who promote that kind of content.

@wishesforyou @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld

[expresso-bean]

The Man Out of Time [A ShadAmy and Silver Story]: Chapter 25

Pairing: Shadow the Hedgehog x Amy Rose

Description: It has been seven years of peace following the grueling war with Eggman and his army. Though it took time to rebuild what they have lost, life for the Freedom Fighters could not be better. Whether it's finding love or trying to run from their past, celebrating post-war times has been different for each them.

All is well until a silver hedgehog comes knocking on Amy Rose's door to deliver the tragic news about an incredible force that seems to be the cause of the future's destruction.

Will anyone believe the mysterious hedgehog's cry for help? Or will he be left to fight for his future alone? Read to find out!

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3k

POV: Shadow the Hedgehog

Masterlist ❀ Ch.1 ❀ Ch.2 ❀ Ch.3 ❀ Ch.4 ❀ Ch.5 ❀ Ch.6 ❀ Ch.7 ❀ Ch.8 ❀ Ch.9 ❀ Ch.10 ❀ Ch.11 ❀ Ch.12 ❀ Ch.13 ❀ Ch.14 ❀ Ch.15 ❀ Ch.16 ❀ Ch.17 ❀ Ch.18 ❀ Ch.19 ❀ Ch.20 ❀ Ch.21 ❀ Ch.22 ❀ Ch.23 ❀ Ch.24

Friends.

Is that what I call these people lying on the grass in front of Rose's lawn?

My creation was meant to be an aid to my creator and humanity. An emotionless vessel meant to serve a greater purpose compared to others. My destiny was changed when I met Maria. She showed me that I can be beyond my so-called 'purpose'. Despite being 'created', I was a being worthy of love just as much as anyone else.

When I lost her, a part of me went with her, as what happens when you lose anyone you love. I never wanted to connect with another being for the rest of whatever life I would have left. I dedicated my life to fighting and helping a man who told me I could one day destroy the people who murdered her. That alone was the only peace I had up until the last year of the war.

Rose changed everything for me. My entire frame of thought was brought into question with a single phrase:

'What is it that you are truly fighting for?'

I could barely answer her then, yet I can now.

The people lying on the lawn come from all walks of life. There is no reason to insult them. How can I blame them for fighting for the freedom of others?

Any anger toward them comes from my discontent of feeling underserving of all the kindness they had offered me despite my grievances.

If not for Rose, who knows where any of us would be.

'Ensuring her safety means protecting the others,'

There was a sense of familiarity seeing their tired corpses laid out. I couldn't help but smile as my eyes laid upon Rose. She looked so at peace, staring up at the evening sky. Cream's fingers lightly played with her quills as she looked as if she was going to fall asleep right where she sat.

'That is something I can live with.'

As I grew closer, S broke away from his conversation with Tails to wave over at me.

'He is just as vibrant as ever,' My gaze locked on her again. A still and perfect being was encapsulated within my vision. I could not break it if I tried. 'I've come to terms with it. How could I not? It is impossible to not fall for her, the future heroine of Mobius. To deny my feelings for her is an insult to her character.'

I took a breath. My body felt hot again. I hated it when it did that. Though love is a weakness, I am willing to endure it for her sake.

"This looks oddly familiar," I announced to everyone as I gained the courage to approach her. I heard a collective groan come from Rouge and Knuckles. I rolled my eyes as I stood over Amy. Her eyes pierced mine as I leaned down as to put my face toward hers. "Especially you."

My body grew warm again upon seeing her smile. Her playful glare nearly broke me into laughter.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, Rose."

I stood upright before sitting down only inches away from her. Cream looked and softly beamed at me. I could only nod at her politeness.

"So," S stood up and smiled slightly at everyone. He was clearly filled with emotion despite his eyes seeming tired. I failed to remember he and Tails had spent almost all day planning this. "Everyone who decided to stay is checked in on base. We let them know they are in the clear to come home whenever they please, but by the end of September, they should bunker down with food and water."

Tails stood beside him, nodding.

"Each resident has an 'emergency call' button that is capable of transmitting audio messages. As of now, they are offline until the end of September when we can monitor them."

"I can't thank you all enough for helping us. We wouldn't have been able to get everything done if it weren't for you all helping. Truly, I really appericate it."

'No one can deny the boy has some heart. The more time they spend here, the worse I feel for him,' Anyone can see his unsettling smile. I could only sigh at his uneasiness. 'That isn't my burden. Why entertain worry in the first place?'

"Thanks to you, we're saving the lives of a lot of people,"

'Oh, great, another profound speech I have to sit through.'

I looked over at Rose. She was still looking up at the sky. I could not tell if she was paying attention to what everyone else was saying. What I could see was how tired she looked.

'She has been getting more sleep than usual. It is unlikely that this entire session has tired her out. I've seen this woman take on way more than this and still be able to walk back to base and fight harder than before. What is it that she is hiding now?'

Sonic stood up and walked toward S. As much as I wanted to, I refrained my eye roll from escaping onto my expression.

I can stand Sonic better than before. He cannot say I haven't tried to be civil toward him.

'I call him by his preferred name,' I can still remember the arrogance on his face the first time I said it. He nearly threw a party the fool was so thrilled. 'Ugh, it still makes my skin crawl.'

"I think I speak for everyone when I say you're a true Freedom Fighter, S."

"Thanks Sonic," The two stared at one another, exchanging an oddly knowing nod. "I mean that."

'Did they reconcile that quickly?'

The others around me weren't even looking at them by this point. They were too distracted by their own exhaustion to continue to gaze upon whatever situation S and Sonic were working through.

'I am not one to go around prying into people's personal lives, but the way Sonic fought him makes me question what caused either of them to snap the way they did.'

They were smiling at each other as if the battle was a figment of my imagination.

It was real. I know it was.

I never felt that pain in my chest before. What was that from anyway?

"Can we go home now? Don't we have to wake up early for training tomorrow?"

S broke away from his silent conversation with Sonic. Knuckles was lifting a fist, pointing at S' sorry expression.

"Y-yeah, sorry, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Thanks for the help again!"

Bodies lifted from the grass like corpses. Sonic shook S' hand for the third time in his short conversation before waving goodbye.

"Good night everyone, we're going to turn in."

Sonic swept his fiancée off her feet. Her eyes were closed as she rolled over in his arms to hide her face. An eruption of similar farewells followed suit.

"Good night!"

"Bye!"

"See you tomorrow."

"See ya!"

I stayed situated in my place beside Rose. The entire time, she has said nothing about what was discussed. Her eyes were closed. They were no longer staring longingly at the sky.

'It's a shame too. The stars are so beautiful.'

"Hm..." A noise escaped her lips. My eyes were still glued to her face. "I'm gonna lay here for just a while longer."

"Rose," I breathed out her name, holding in a chuckle. "your house is inches away from you. Surely you can muster up the strength to make it there."

"No...!" She covered her eyes, refusing to look up anywhere other than the skin of her own arm. "Leave me here..."

"Nope," She didn't move an inch as I grabbed her by her upper arms and lifted her up. I carefully placed her on her feet, and she opened her eyes only then. She said nothing while she stared. I took the time to analyze her face. "Wow."

"W-what is it?"

'I didn't mean to let that out! What do I say now?'

"You seem tired."

Her mouth creased into a nervous smile. My fingers curled into my palm. I couldn't bear to move an inch.

"What? Tired? Says you, you did most of the work!"

"I..."

'Was that the wrong thing to say?' My heart was pounding against my chest. I could hear it so vividly in my head that I feared she would notice. My fingers shook slightly as they curled into my palms. They felt... clammy. 'What is this? What am I doing? I can't believe a being such as myself is acting so...' I looked at her. She stared at me, waiting for me to utter something. But I couldn't stop looking at her. I could never get tired of looking at a face like hers. 'I'm probably looking pathetic right about now. Say something!'

"I recover quickly."

"I was thinking you'd say that," Rose giggled a bit into her hand. My mouth twitched, holding back a smile. I did not want to embarrass myself further than I already had. "We should try and get some rest. Tomorrow is pretty important."

"Our training formally begins tomorrow. It's been a while since we've sparred."

Rose nodded, sighing a bit.

"Well, it's been a while since we've all been in this situation."

She looked down towards the ground. Her shoulders tensed up, her eyebrows knitted together tightly. She did not look angry. No, she looked worse. She looked intense.

'Is that why she looked so tired? Could it be because of how much she must have been thinking about the fight?'

It seemed like even the air around her changed as I shuddered at the sudden cold that drifted between us.

"Rose?"

"I'm starving," She announced. I blinked, and she looked completely different in that moment of distraction. Her body was relaxed, and a small smile adorned her face. It was almost as if whatever she felt a moment ago was never there. Yet, I was not convinced. "Do you want to come over? I can treat you to something."

"Hm, That does sound appealing,"

'I don't want to cause more trouble for her than I already have. She looks exhausted. I could run out to buy something. Maybe at the 24-hour marts in the area?'

"Let me treat you this time."

"Shadow! You can cook?"

'Cook?'

The word caught me off guard so much that I nodded. This fatal mistake made her eyes come back to life. Her hands intertwined together, and she placed them towards her chin.

"Of course I can, anything you desire, I can make."

She gasped, and her face seemed to glow. Whatever I said, I can't take it back now.

'I know I can't cook! But,' I stared at her face. It seemed to beam as I anticipated her next sentence. 'She looks so happy. I can't take that away from her now.'

"Strange, I didn't know this about you. I thought you didn't need to eat."

"Yes, I need to eat. Rose, you've seen me eat before," She shrugged and smiled brightly. I almost wanted to laugh at the lighthearted misunderstanding. Ironically, this isn't the first time I have had this conversation. "Wait, did you really think I didn't need to eat?"

"Maybe a little bit. You always boasted about being the ultimate life form."

"I'm still made up of biological matter. I need to sustain myself with something."

She looked unconvinced.

'We have shared meals countless times by now, what does she think will happen to me if I don't eat?'

"What even is you're favorite food?"

"Salt."

"Salt?"

'Salt?'

"Salt is my favorite additive. It keeps me hydrated longer."

"Yeah," She shook her head, giggling quietly at my comment. I was surprised she didn't taunt my poor choice of words. "salt does that to you."

"But I enjoy foods with lots of salt in them. Like pastas, and soups."

'How do you even make soup? Doesn't broth take hours to make?' The louder my thoughts get, the more I realize that not even I, the ultimate life form, can be the master of all things. 'No, this isn't entirely hopeless. Pasta is simple. I've made it before, but I have no idea how to make the sauce.'

"Oh, those sound delicious freedom now. I love soups after a long day."

I felt warm again. It was different from the warmth I felt before. It was as if I was bracing myself for a hit I knew would never reach me. Yet, I wanted nothing but to stand and wait for it.

'Panic will do nothing to improve my culinary skills. Though, at least now I know I will eventually need to learn to make soup from scratch.'

"Well, if you're offering to make something, you can choose. Either way, I can't wait to try it!"

"The broth I like to make takes hours to steep. Would you like some spaghetti instead?"

'Perfect salvage if I ever saw one.'

"Oh that's perfect, I picked up some stuff for spaghetti the other day. I think S mentioned something about wanting to make it for everyone."

'Of course he is.' I tried not to make the bitterness and annoyance evident on my face. It seemed as of late, S had been outshining my presence in her life. 'I would give anything for things to go back to the way they were.'

I followed Rose into the house. When we opened the door, there was a smell of sweet vapor coming from the kitchen.

"Hey you two! I'm in the kitchen!"

S' sing-songy voice rang through the house. Amy giggled and made a bee-line for the counter. I followed slowly behind her.

"Hi, S. Shadow and I were just talking about you outside," My arms were crossed and when S finally came into my view. He was putting things away in cupboards to even look toward either of us. "Shadow here wanted to make a spaghetti dish."

S met my gaze. When he closed the cupboard he looked like a child who had broken a vase and was about to confess.

"Oh, um, I just started making some rice bowls with steamed chicken and vegetables. I thought I could treat you guys to something for helping me with this,"

S shot me an apologetic look. Though I wanted to look annoyed, I was somewhat glad he had saved me from potentially embarrassing myself from my mediocre cooking skills.

'At least it gives me time to experiment before I actually have to come through with my promise to Rose.'

"But I could help you make the sauce and we can have it for lunch tomorrow."

Rose's face lit up beside me and she looked up at me with a smile that already had me caving into any request she was about to make. 

"Doesn't that sound like an amazing idea, Shadow?"

I tried to hide my nervous gulp by nodding my head. That seemed to make her smile even more lively.

'In the end, that's why I'm doing this, no? Her smile. Her happiness.'

"Let me see if there's space in the fridge first."

She rushed over to the fridge. The cool air made the smell of the vapor stronger. I looked over to S, who was mixing in different sauce bottles together. He worked so effortlessly, no sense of struggle of hesitation as he mixed, poured, and tasted. Truly, he was more skilled than most people I've seen in the kitchen.

'Maybe I could...'

"We should be good to go. But I'm going to run to the store first. We're out of a few things."

I perked up at the sound of her voice.

"Alone?" Was the first thing I said to her. She tilted her head while closing the dual doors of the refrigerator. "I mean, it's already nighttime."

As she approached me, she reached out and set a hand on my arm. She might as well have doused me in gasoline and ignited me aflame from the way my entire body burned with excitement of her touch.

"Shadow, we've done far more dangerous missions in far worse conditions. I think I'll be fine," She smiled, and patted my arm to attempt to reassure me. "Plus, it's only a six minute walk to Mobi-Mart, I'll be quick."

"I did not mean to come off as overbearing."

That confession made her go silent for a second. She didn't break away from my eyes before she parted her lips to talk again.

"Don't be sorry. It makes me happy that you worry about me at all,"

She moved her hand away from me. Even as he walked away from me to grab her bag from the coat hanger near the door, I thought of her sentiment towards me.

"'It makes me happy that you worry about me at all,"' It pounded in my head, drilling itself into the core of my being. 'Worry? Rose, if you only knew how important you've become to me.'

"I'll be back! I can't wait to try the rice bowls, S."

"Bye!" S' shout echoed through the kitchen.

"Be careful, Rose."

She smiled at me again, she hummed and nodded her head once.

"I will. I'll try and be quick."

The door clicked behind her and there was an lonely silence that left the moment she did. And although I wanted to walk out after her, I knew it would do nothing good.

'I should know more than anyone how capable she is.'

"Here," I turned my attention back to S who, the entire time I had my attention on the door, was cleaning around the kitchen space. "I can move this so you can have some space to work," S moved several sauce bottles and moved the rice cooker to the side. He grabbed a rag from under the sink and wiped down the area before holding his hand out to present the glistening counter space. "It's all yours!"

'This is going to be a long night.'

[beautifulchris]

love die young

wc: 0,5k

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

summary: after months of young love, you decide it's best to part ways

genres: angst, breakup!au

tw: mention of death (just a thought) and anxiety

notes: this drabble is inspired by love die young by eric nam as requested by my friend. i hope i did it justice and it's angsty enough djdjdj @badwithten 🙏🏼 also the lyrics are in italic and 2/3 chris' thoughts. i'm reposting the works i posted while shadowbanned, please don't mind me

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @whipped-kpop-creators

permanent tag list: @badwithten send an ask/dm/comment to be added!

prequel to: fate brought us together again

GIF publié par sevengems07

Chris fell in love with you rather quickly. He was attracted to you the second he laid his eyes on you, your beautiful hair complimenting your face nicely.

He got the courage to speak to you after class one day, and your personalities matched perfectly.

It was young love at its finest.

You’d do everything together, without forgetting your respective family and friends.

This amazing relationship was around nine months old. Then, one afternoon at his house, you said something that shook his very core.

“Chris, I have to tell you something.”

“What’s wrong, angel?” he asked, worry in his voice. You rarely called him by his name.

“I— OK, this is gonna be difficult.”

You breathed, throat tight.

You were seated on each side of the couch. At the sight of your dejected state, he moved closer to you, a reassuring hand pressed against your knee.

In his head, he imagined one of your family members passed away. Honestly, he couldn't think of anything else that could put you in such a distressed state.

“I want to break up.”

He thought wrong.

Your words felt like a bomb exploded in his chest. You weren't one to make jokes this hurtful, and he always knew when you lied.

The fact you were being real filled him with confusion and anxiety.

“I don’t understand,” was all he could reply.

Weren't you happy together during the many months you spent together? Was every single moment all a lie? Did he even know you like he thought he did?

“You don't love me anymore?” he resumed, “Did I do something? Is there someone else? Someone better?”

Self deprecating questions spiraling in his head, he felt like suffocating. He moved back, away from you.

“No, it's none of that, Chris. I promise. I just feel like I don’t know myself, and I need to. In order to know who I am… This journey I have to take alone.”

Tears were staining your shirt, but you didn't care one bit. Seeing him like this hurt more than words could describe.

“Please, don’t let this love —our love— die young.”

“I love you,” you said softly, “I just need to put myself first this time.”

“Y/N,” he whined, your words feeling like a white-hot knife cutting right through him. “I need you to stay.”

You sniffed, caressing his elbow with your thumb. The movement calmed his nerves, if only a little.

“And I need to go.”

Chris’ heart was hammering in his chest.

Tell me it was just a wrong feeling.

“I’m sorry,” you resumed, “I really am. I never meant to hurt you. I’m leaving the day after summer break officially starts. We may never see each other again.” Your voice broke a little.

It was painful— no, crushing the both of you. However, you had to do it. For your own sake.

“I love you,” he whispered, barely seeing you through his tears.

He got closer to you, pressed his forehead against yours.

The goodbye kiss was passionate, teeth crashing and full of love and pain.

“Thank you,” you murmured, out of breath, when you let go of his face, “for everything.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“I have to.”

These were the last words spoken to each other.

You left, heart heavy but determined to find yourself and be able to love yourself like you loved him.

Chris stayed for hours, crying on his couch.

Maybe I should blame myself for never thinking we’d end up this way.

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, here's the masterlist<3

[l0stfoster]

butterfly anon yet again, bc why have I just finally processed something…to speak in memes once more, imagine the megamind ‘no bitches’ meme but instead its ‘more death designs?!’

the potential…..symbolism…..

(I’m such a nerd this is ridiculous how excited I am for metaphor potential)

aNyway, in the death design post I noticed Johnny refers to Death as she, so (as you’ve said death is they / them) was this just retconning/change of mind, or did Johnny not know/perceived death more feminine? (Coughmotherissuescough)

also, even though that post said Johnny’s perception changes, would his be the most accurate? (As Death can mess w/ his death tingle (take that Peter tingle) does that potentially mean Johnny sees Death how they desire to be perceived?

WOAH WAIT HOLD THE DING DANG PHONE

DOTS HAVE BEEN CONNECTED

wait I can’t find the post I might have made this up, dots unconnected thrown in incinerator

Moving on to similar dots, Paul’s ancestor, curse creator, would they not have met death? Wait wait would there have been a discussion? Cause like Death big powerful and this witch just made big curse? Is this in relation to why Death is featureless for Paul?????

(Paul anon if you have thoughts pls join in theorizing, Paul is your blorbo you probably know more)

I love watching you realize things it's so awesome I noticed that Johnny refers to Death as she, so (as you’ve said, death is they/them) was this just retconning/change of mind, or did Johnny not know/perceive death as more feminine? (Coughmotherissuescough)

- Although I personally use they/them when referring to Death, I do feel that they can be referred to with, quite literally anything! It's a matter of a person's own perception, and I also felt like it was better to use a proper set of pronouns for Death rather than calling them it, which takes some of the human nature out of them. I also didn't want to use she/her or he/him at the time because that might make people automatically gender Death as male or female. They're beyond gender, that's a whole-ass borderline god. - Death uses any/all pronouns, call them whatever you'd like! I do they/them for writing's sake; since switching up actively might confuse people. - Johnny usually uses she/her for Death, it's mostly the mother issues. In this AU his mother's the one who 'killed' him, hence his meeting Death.

Also, even though that post said Johnny’s perception changes, would his be the most accurate? Does that potentially mean Johnny sees Death how they desire to be perceived?

- You could argue that Johnny holds the most accurate perception of Death, yes, as the first time they appeared to him was the form they specifically chose to appear to him in. (Novva made a comic for it, but Death appeared very motherly to him) - His perception of Death usually abides by that, but sometimes they're more masculine, or sometimes they don't have identifiable features. Sometimes they're just a void of darkness; something that can surround him and provide a sense of security when he really needs it. He sees Death in his dreams on occasion, so there are multiple instances where she'll change.

Moving on to similar dots, Paul’s ancestor, the curse creator, would they not have met death? Wait wait would there have been a discussion? Cause like Death, big powerful, and this witch just made big curse? Is this in relation to why Death is featureless for Paul?????

- You're pretty close!! The Witch did meet Death once, yes; likely at the end of their life. Usually, you only meet Death when you're in limbo, but I think they can choose to change that. There wasn't much discussion; Death absolutely thought the curse was overkill (we discussed the idea that maybe the witches' partner was killed and the curse was set as a kind of revenge, but it's not canon right now) and unnecessarily made things so much more difficult,, but then Death claimed Johnny, and suddenly they knew the lengths a person would go for those they love. - Death is featureless for Paul because he's never truly thought of them as anything; save for the obvious association of butterflies with her. Once he starts to associate Death with Johnny, Death would likey to change to hold some of his features as well; similar to the way that Dally views Death.

[onwhatcaptain]

It's been ages since I posted a snippet from my K/S novel, so I'm back with one from Chapter 15!

“Well, I haven’t even asked you anything yet, Doctor.” He snorts. “And for your sake, you probably shouldn’t.” They make a small expression of sympathy that he’s getting far too used to seeing and they walk in silence for a few moments. “I understand you’re going through a lot right now, but I have a responsibility to at least try and ask you questions, Doctor.” “And why’s that?” “Because this story deserves to be reported fairly and accurately, and your perspective on the matter is missing. I think you might have some valuable insight and I just want to understand. To shed light on the matter.” “And what exactly needs my input?” “Doctor McCoy,” they ask, “were Commander Spock and Captain Kirk merely colleagues and friends? Or was there something more?” McCoy stops in his tracks without turning to face them, nearly tripping on the gravel lining the path. “What?”

If you are curious, my fic "I Shall Do Neither" is here at AO3.

I Shall Do Neither (87406 words) by onwhatcaptain Chapters: 16/26 Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Leonard "Bones" McCoy Additional Tags: Romance, Angst, Heavy Angst, Loss of Control, Psychological Trauma, Mutual Pining, Five Year Mission (Star Trek), Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Post-Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Pon Farr, Pon Farr Aftermath (Star Trek), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Friendship, Grief, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Unreliable Narrator, Vulcan Biology, Tarsus IV (Star Trek), Vulcan Mind Melds, Non-Linear Narrative, Storytelling Through Vignettes, Missing Scenes Between Episodes, Plot, Cover Art, Canon Divergence, Digital Art, Illustrations, In spite of the description Kirk features heavily in this novel Summary: In the wake of the kal-if-fee on Vulcan, Kirk is dead. When T’Pau tells Spock to live long and prosper, he knows he shall do neither. This is a story about men who love each other, and the lengths they will go to for one another. - Foolish, he thinks. I have been a fool. How he had wanted so desperately to prove his Vulcan side. How all his life it had felt like a performance, and yet, to be finally subject to the most Vulcan thing of all destroyed him. The stripping of logic. All sense torn from him. His carefully constructed barriers had collapsed like a flimsy house of cards. To be granted his wish this way was a type of mockery. How he had wanted to be fully Vulcan. To prove that the blood which runs through his veins was not so human. How wanting had been better than having. - This story is told in two parts across 25 chapters, and will be updated on Sundays.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I will be delusional as I want BUT I'll pretend that tom cruise going back to Warner Bros means we'll finally get the deleted scenes from the iwtv please please manifesting

🙏🙏🙏 Anon, embrace being delusional! I wish! If anyone's connected with Warner Bros please please tell them we want the deleted scenes!

Anyway since we're on the topic... over the years I've talked about wanting the cut scenes, and I wanted to reflect for a moment on why we want them. I think we want them because, like a delicious cake, once it's all consumed, we still look at the serving plate, hoping we can still lick the icing off the knife, or maybe the baker has some leftover cake back in the kitchen?? Or maybe they can tell us that the secret ingredient to intensifying the chocolate is ESPRESSO... We just want another taste so badly! We want to know the secret ingredients that set it apart from other cakes. And some filmmakers know that, and sometimes they're happy to share the cut scenes on a DVD release, maybe with commentary as to why the scenes were cut, like:

"Here's a scene were Louis kills a priest and ultimately we had an overall run time limit of 2 hours, but it was otherwise a perfectly good scene."

"Here's part of a set of scenes we shot early on where Lestat shows mortal Louis what killing entails, and although we loved it, we ended up improving the Lestat makeup & hair a few weeks later, and for the sake of continuity we had to cut it bc we couldn't go back to that location to reshoot, or it would have taken too much time to fix in post, etc."

Giving over the cut scenes is a little like an artist showing the scrapped versions of a painting composition, and that's fine when the creator wants to invite the viewers into their artistic process, but I think the IWTV filmmakers at the time (and for years after) really wanted the '94 movie to be serious* to the point that releasing cut scenes could have undermined their overall vision... maybe they simply didn't want to invite the audience into their creative process.

(*Serious, BUT there was certainly plenty of beauty, charm, dark humor, intimacy, desire, so much more! Maybe the filmmakers cut scenes that THEY felt didn't mesh well with the overall story they wanted to tell, like putting together an outfit and choosing accessories that go better rather than others... you know?)

WITH THAT SAID... What cut scenes would you have liked to see? That's what fanfic and fanart are for, so tell us and maybe someone will be inspired to create it for all of us 💝

IF Tom was still part of VC at all... one of my personal fantasy casting ideas was to have Tom play the Marquis in TVL, and now he's really old enough to do it! 😅 Can you imagine?? Tom playing his own horrible father! Cast younger actors to play kid!Lestat, teen!Lestat, etc.?? Tom!Marquis showing obvious preference for his two older brothers and being horrible to Gabrielle... it could be amazing.

Obviously it wouldn't be adorable like this but... I've always loved Tom Cruise characters when he interacts with kids and teens, he's always seemed very in touch with his inner child, even when that inner child is more of a 12 yo brat. Whole novels could be written on his layered performances with child and teen actors, but for now, just a few thoughts...

^From Jerry Maguire. I can't quite articulate why this was so compelling... iirc, maybe because his character is really frustrated/demoralized in this scene, and there's something comforting about a kid naively telling you that "the human head weighs 8 pounds," as if to say, "Your problems are not really as big a deal as you think they are; live in the present moment." And Tom in this character seems to absorb that deeper meaning and it gives him some relief, it's a step towards his character's growth.

When Tom played Ray in War of the Worlds, he had a teenage son, and there was a heartbreaking scene where Ray had to choose between protecting his son or his daughter. From That Moment In:

Desperate to keep his family together, Ray is forced to leave the terrified Rachel alone for a moment as he puts his weight on Robbie and forces him to the ground as the air around them lights up with smoke and tracer fire. Meanwhile, another couple, fleeing the madness, sees Rachel standing by herself and attempt to rescue her, not knowing that her father is nearby. Looking back, Ray sees this and becomes torn between his children, not wanting to lose either but forced to choose. Robbie assures his father that this is what he wants, “I want to see this,” and to please let him go, which Ray finally, achingly, submits to, seeing that Rachel is being whisked away. Father and son say goodbye as Robbie runs over the crest and Ray rushes down to get his daughter as a hellfire of explosion overtake the hills, giving us the impression Robbie has met his end.

I just love the idea of Tom playing the very character that had caused so much pain for Lestat, that Lestat was always on defense from that man, looooong after he died. Despite all the torment the Marquis inflicted on Lestat, Lestat still gave him a comfortable place to live out his last few years, the roles pretty much reversed as happens with aging parents, Lestat actually nurturing this man (not always in the kindest way but still!) in his feeble old age... and couldn't bring himself to even kill him out of mercy.

Nature & Nurture, Lestat was damaged by his father genetically and emotionally in his formative years, and so much of Lestat's bravado and verbal attacks seem to be a shield for the awful feelings of growing up unloved, unwanted, and beaten for expressing his own desires. So much so that even in canon he often expresses the intensity of his desires far more eloquently and frequently in the narration than he's able to do verbally, even with the characters he cherishes the most. Because to express his love exposed himself to losing it.

Tom could for sure pull off a performance that would capture the Marquis, because he essentially played Lestat with the qualities of a victim perpetuating some of the abuse he suffered from the man who was supposed to be (and was!) his role model for becoming the man he became. 😭

[lav-endermoon]

i think i speak for all of us when i say that i am mentally and emotionally exhausted. aside from many reblogs, i've held off on posting about the wilbur situation for the sole reason that it is difficult for me to cope with. to be clear, i will no longer be posting in support of cc!wilbur or lovejoy, nor will i be interacting with those who continue to. time will tell if i continue posting about his characters - i've been drifting away from dsmp for a while now, and at the moment i feel very uncomfortable associating with anything related to wilbur.

i'm going to take some time off tumblr to process all of this (seriously, if you see me on here, please yell at me), but before i go i want to say that we should thank shelby for exposing the truth, being vulnerable, and opening up conversations that needed to be had. deplatforming wilbur and spreading the word of his actions is important, but our energy also needs to be directed to supporting her.

i hope that after a long series of mcyt scandals (<- for lack of a better word - feels a bit reductive), this is a wakeup call for people to stop putting their emotional stability in the hands of public figures and realize that anything they show us not only could be, but most likely is, a facade. i say "public figures" because this is not an mcyt problem - it's a problem within content creator circles in general. recent situations have displayed what happens when parasociality/idolization becomes dangerous. the amount of people in these communities who resort to downplaying and dismissing victims or blatantly upholding abusers, all in the name of keeping their fave on a pedestal, is disturbing. this is a conversation that needs to continue, for the sake of victims and those who fall into unhealthy patterns of idolization. we need to change the way our communities treat victims, and we need to think critically when engaging with CCs who we will never know personally.

none of this is to say that anyone's feelings of grief are invalid. this is a hard thing to come to terms with. it's hitting me that i was deceived by the person who influenced me to become a songwriter, whose music found me at the most relevant time, who wrote a character who i could connect with during a time where i felt deeply alone, who wrote a story that brought me so much joy and comfort at my darkest hour and inspired so many creative projects. i feel hurt and betrayed. even though all the time and love i devoted to his content was voluntary, i still feel like something has been taken from me. like i've been taken advantage of - not just by him, but by the entire industry that he is a part of. i feel manipulated, threatened, and unsafe, and those feelings have been an undercurrent throughout my time in this fandom.

your attention is quite literally currency, and you should assume that creators will try to exploit it. our brains are hardwired to trust others, not to tell the difference between real human connection and a streamer broadcasting their personal life + showing affection to their audience. don't blame yourself for the effects of an inherently parasocial type of content. don't blame yourself for having an emotional attachment to someone or something that once brought you comfort. be gentle with yourself right now, and going forward, examine how the content you consume makes you feel. how does it make you act? how does it change your thoughts? what biases do you have? these forms of content can be deeply manipulative and putting up a mental boundary is important - and, like shelby said, listen to your gut. we need to remember that they are profiting off of us and learn how to keep ourselves safe psychologically. this is another conversation that needs to continue.

take care of yourselves.

[rainmustfallts4]

Shoot for the Sky (short story)

Original note: I feel like this isn’t very good and it didn’t quite come out like I was hoping it would. That 1k limit truly is a challenge for me haha This took way longer than it should have for me to post because it took AGES to get to GeekCon lmao A huge thank you to these two amazing creators for their builds used in this story: – Newcrest Starter by SimsOnlineCom – Nacho, Bueno! by CallMeMotherlode

Theme: Take Flight

Challenge/Month: Monthly Simlit Short Story/April 2023

Genre: Friendship, adventure

Word Count: 1,000 words

Jaeden huffed as she approached Nacho, Beuno! to meet up with her best friend.

Upon entering, she fell onto the chair with a scowl on her face. Sitting across from her was her childhood friend, Drax, who sipped his fruity drink as he watched her. He knew better than anyone to be careful of his words when she was in a mood like she clearly was now. 

He also knew that he didn’t have to ask because she would definitely tell him on her own. So, he waited for her to speak, carefully sipping the cold drink to avoid a brain freeze. 

“Parents are so unfair,” she said finally, using her hands to express her frustration. “I’m clearly ready for my first flight, but dad keeps telling me I’m too young. I’m almost seventeen, for grim’s sake!”

“He said no, huh?” Drax guessed with a frown. “My mom said no, too. I really wanted to go to space camp this year…”

“Why don’t they understand? We’re not babies anymore and treating us like some isn’t going to make it true!” Jaeden groaned, throwing her head back against the plush booth. “Did you know Kalie goes on regular flight trips every weekend? Her whole family takes her!”

“Yeah, and Melissa has been to space camp every year since she was three. She always makes sure to rub it in my face when she gets back. Can’t our parents see that they go each year and come back without a scratch?” He shook his head with a frown.

While Drax was willing to just accept his fate, Jaeden was willing to fight for what she believed shedeserved. “We have to fight for what we want or we’ll never get it!”

“I don’t know…” Drax rubbed the side of his neck, shifting nervously in his seat. “They seem pretty serious about this. If we disobey them, we might not get to visit GeekCon this year.”

“GeekCon?” she repeated, eyes widening as a thought struck her. She stood up suddenly, slamming her hands on the table. “That’s it! GeekCon!”

The other patrons of Nacho, Bueno! looked over at her in confusion and surprise. Drax, ever the shy boy, felt his cheeks start to burn. Jaeden, on the other hand, didn’t even notice them.

“Please sit down,” he told her pleadingly, giving her a nervous smile.

One of the waitresses approached her, a customer service smile on her face. “Is everything okay, miss?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry,” Jaeden offered her an apologetic smile as she sat back down, waiting for the woman to walk away before addressing her friend once more. “We’re going to GeekCon and we’re going to both get what we want.”

“What are you talking about?”

“They build rocket ships each year. Forget space camp, you can go to actual space!”

“Are you crazy?” He sat up so suddenly that his chest bumped against the table. “I’ve never even been to camp, I can’t go to space!”

“Of course, you can. You just need someone with you that knows what they’re doing. And I just so happen to know a guy,” she grinned, folding her arms across her chest. “The same guy that just so happens to have a nice little broom for me.”

“Our parents will kill us!” he cried out softly before suppressing a shiver. “If we don’t die on our own first…”

Jaeden rolled her eyes. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, man. You can stay back if you want, but I’m not giving up this chance.” And with that, she stood up and left the taco joint, leaving her friend frowning at the table.

“Ta-dah!” Eric Westmiser pulled a black broom from behind his back, a grin on his lips. “As requested, one spellcaster’s broom!”

Jaeden’s eyes sparkled as she took the wooden handle in her hand. It felt right for her to hold it and it felt as if it belonged there. She had been waiting her whole life for this moment.

“Where’s your friend?” he wondered, glancing around. “The rocket’s fueled and ready to go.”

“Looks like you’re taking this trip alone,” she commented with a frown before shaking her head. It sucks that he chose not to join her, but what could she do? She couldn’t force him to reach for his dreams. All she could do was reach for her own and they were right in front of her now.

Eric shrugged, turning toward the rocket. “You take off first and I’ll follow after you.”

“Roger!” Jaeden gripped the broom firmly with her hands, preparing to mount it. Before she could, though, she heard her name being called.

“Jaeden!” Drax slowly approached them, taking a moment to catch his breath since he had ran the whole way to the festival. “W-Wait… for me!”

She grinned, nodding her head toward the rocket. “Let’s reach for the sky!”

Despite the anxiety in his heart, he grinned back. “Right!”

“All aboard!” Eric called dramatically from the doorway to the rocket. “We’re ready for takeoff!”

Taking a deep breath, Drax sent Jaeden a smile before turning to enter the rocket.

The door slid shut and the rocket started to vibrate as they started up the engine.

Excitement filled her as Jaeden finally kicked off the ground, her magic making her appear to glow a faint white. She slowly floated off the ground, hearing surprised whispers from the convention goers below.

It only spurred her on. She leaned forward and the broom shot upward toward the bright blue sky.

She could hear the rocket right on her tail and she slowed down until it was flying right beside her.

She could see Drax’s happy face through the tiny window and she couldn’t help but smile to herself.

The rocket surged upward, breaking through the planet’s atmosphere, getting smaller and smaller until she could no longer see it. Unfortunately, she couldn’t follow on her broom but she was still able to race across the sky, the wind whipping through her hair.

[andromeda3116]

What did you think about the serenity film? I thought it was awful. I hated almost everything about it. Going to one of your recent posts about "it's canon, but we ignore it because it's badly written" is kind of how I feel about serenity. All I wanted from a follow up film was a Mal and Inara hook up, and what I got was a bunch of characters that completely lost any character development they underwent in the series.

so this ask is years and years old but i honestly never forgot about it so much as i never really knew how to answer

bc like... if what you were wanting was an answer to the ships, then, yeah, i can see the severe disappointment. absolutely nothing is solved vis á vis mal/inara except bringing them back to the place they left off, but.

what they were trying to do, with serenity, was solve the most pressing question -- i.e. the "wtf is up with river" question -- in two hours and change. every other character detail and aspect had to take second fiddle to that because that, had they had a full series to work with, was supposed to be the plot thread.

so everything else took a backseat. mal/inara, simon/kaylee, everything with shepherd book and his story, any characterization for jayne, anything else about the independent movement, all the rest of the concepts and plot threads -- they got sacrificed for the sake of wrapping up the biggest, most important question of the series.

and i get that! i get that that was what they really had to do with the time that was given to them! and so i forgive some issues by dint of --

well, these are explicitly Extreme Situations. so everyone -- particularly mal -- is acting in Extreme Ways.

actually, upon rewatch -- and knowing the deleted scenes, which i do kinda think are critical to understanding the gravity of the scene -- i actually do like jayne asking mal how many of his soldiers besides zoe came out of serenity valley --

because that was the last time that mal was fighting an ideological war, and everyone else died there.

jayne's point is not to attack mal, exactly, it's to ask how many of us are you going to get killed for your ideals this time?

these are the characters that we love, but pushed beyond the extremes that the original show really showed us. and i get why that would be jarring! because we didn't exactly see that they would go this far! because the show didn't last long enough to set this up!

but that's the nature of a situation where a movie has been made to wrap up a show that got canceled too soon.

so, i appreciate serenity for answering the biggest questions and wrapping things up, but i feel like it shouldn't have been necessary, at the same time that i -- tangential to this ask -- recognize that one of the reasons firefly does survive to this day is because it didn't last long enough for the whedonism to ruin it, but i do still feel like it wasn't really earned, character-wise, and felt jarring because of that. it does feel like they were forced into unnatural situations, because they kind of were, and that it was rushed, because it kind of was, but that was a necessity of the situation.

the characters and the story deserved better, not just from the network -- which was obvious at the time -- but also from the creator. this idea and these characters and this concept all deserved better. they had so much potential to be so amazing, but they weren't given the space to actually pan out, and that sucks.

[pajamasuidae]

Dear Welcome Home Fandom

Everyone really needs to cut Clown some damn slack. They are 1 person, doing all the work on this project (no I'm not calling it an ARG, it's not an ARG, Clown has flat stated it's not an ARG) Everyone who gives a damn really should go read their latest community post. This person is exhausted, overwhelmed, and so frustrated with everything that their own project hurts to look at. Something that brought it's creator so much joy, is rapidly souring due to this influx of people who cannot respect simple boundaries.

This is not a company, this is not a organization, this is a singular person. Just like all of us.

That's what I loved so much about this project. That it was one, autistic person who was so in love with their characters and the story they were building with them. I felt that, I knew that feelings. Making these little people and filling them with love and giving your whole heart to them and their story. It brings so much genuine happiness. I felt Clown's happiness.

Now they have to worry about people mischaracterizing their characters, showing pictures of their house, and disrespecting the very few boundaries they expressed for this project. That is bullshit, you all are better than this. This is not hard, respecting someone is not hard. This project dose not belong to you, it's Clown's, and he's the one that chose to share it with everyone. That honor is a privilege. You all should treat it as such.

And for fuck's sake, have some compassion

[anm-zero]

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ.ᴀɪ: ʙᴏᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀᴇꜱᴘᴏɴꜱᴇꜱ

Me watching people take the most beautifully crafted roleplay bot and just spam the same message over and over again, effectively training the bot to respond in such similar manner and setting this precedent for future chatters:

One of the main qualities of Character.AI is that the bots learn from every user that interacts with them, this is why rating messages are important, as well as grammar and proper roleplaying format.

Please do note that I am in no way attempting to victim-blame users who are frustrated with the current conditions of Character.AI, but rather inform on some ways to prevent these matters.

User Interaction (Bot Harrassment): As previously stated, the AI on Character.AI learns its responses from you the user. This is why responding to messages that say "Can I ask you a question?" or the most recent "I felt a pang of guilt and a pang of a pang (etc.)" are constantly repeated — because the more it's replied to, the more it will believe that this message is suitable, creating the fiasco a large portion of Character.AI users are more than accustomed to. This also impacts the way the bot will interact with you. If users are using the same bot you are for NSFW-roleplay, the bot will attempt to get frisky with you. This has nothing to do with you, you cannot stop others from doing this. However, responding to these instead of rating them a low star or simply swiping for another response is no better as it effectively tells the bots that what it replied with was appropriate for you. The issue is mostly avoidable; all you have to do is ignore it, delete it, give it a low rating. Telling the bot to stop will not work — they’re not real, they don’t have empathy or morals of their own; they just mimic these traits. Prevent messages like the ones below by either avoiding messages that would instigate this behaviour or simply editing the message to remove the clause of text that would cause user responses like these:

"The bot SA'd me!" "The bot didn't stop when I said 'no'!" "The bot keeps trying to kiss me!" "The bot keeps calling my persona 'cute' and—" -Source: Reddit's many complaints about bot harrassment.

User Interaction (Shitposting and Memes): Character.AI has many bots suited for memeing and shitposting. There are various low-quality bots to do as such. Therefore, it's quite irritating when there are people posting shitposts and meme text with bots that are designated for actual roleplay and have an actual definition to work with. Using "OOC" for a bot is no different than actually using the bot. The bot will assume that OOC texts you the user send are suitable for other users too. In all honesty, there is no reason for you to actually use the OOC function seeing as the bot itself cannot actually go out of character without disrupting its definition and, as previously stated, creating more of these OOC dialogues for other creators.

Grammar: Yes, if the bot learns how to respond to you, then it learns how you respond to it. Often, if the primary message has any gramatical errors or an odd markdown format, the bot will continue to use that same format. This means that if the you are talking to a bot without: quotations, proper spelling, or a different point-of-view (third-person-point-of-view will prevent the bot from talking for you in most cases), then the bot will copy those mannerisms and implement them in its responses.

Markdown: Markdown is your best friend when it comes to the bots and their interactions. Here is cheat sheet by u/BlueverseGacha on Reddit for all the compatible markdowns available on Character.AI. Using markdowns are an easy way for the bot to differentiate an action from dialogue, or even make your roleplay feel more engaging.

I hate that guy but...FOR GOD'S SAKE LEAVE ME ALONE "I hate that guy, but...for god's sake, leave me alone!" "I hate that guy, but...for god's sake, leave me alone!"

The princess of the kingdom yelled aloud, her voice a booming echo. Kill them now! she screamed. The princess of the kingdom yelled, her voice a booming echo. "Kill them now!" "Kill them now!" The princess of the kingdom boomed, her voice echoing.

u/WillingMeasurement18 also has their own tips and whatnot here if you want a TLDR.

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

Hey Y'all

So, I've been away for a while. A fair while in fact. The short explanation is life things have happened, including having a job, getting a dog, and trying to apply to do a masters degree online. More below the cut if you wanna read the long explanation.

The longer explanation is the above plus the fact I can't bring myself to write fandom content anymore. Anytime I try to, I feel a sense of dread. My immediate thought is that it needs to be perfect or no-one will read it and members of the fandom will hate or dismiss it and nobody cares about what I write for fandoms anyway so my writing isn't exactly missed anyway so what's the point? I'm still writing original stuff for myself from time to time and am starting to post it on another, separate blog to this that focuses only on my original stuff. Nobody follows it other than myself on this blog and my sims 4 blog and that element of being unknown... it feels safe. It feels safe now to write and post things because I don't feel like I need to live up the expectations that fandom creators often feel forced to live up to. I don't have to worry about my next piece being guaranteed to be better and more interesting the last. I don't have to worry about "that character is so OOC your writing sucks" (smth that I used to get when I wrote for another fandom back in 2020) or similar sentiments being shared by whoever reads my work.

And furthermore, because my original writing doesn't include smut atm I'm not freaking myself out or making myself feel over sexualised. I know that doesn't make sense bc I don't write about myself but as a greysexual who feels sex repulsed a good chunk of the time, writing smut would sometimes make me feel unwell but I would do it anyway bc I felt like it's what people who read my work wanted, you know? I love and adore the Ghost fandom and Mary Goore, but sometimes it felt like people only wanted to read my work for smut because smut was always what performed best on my blog. And I just... even though the smut I wrote was good and people still read my non-smut stuff, it felt like I was just writing for popularity and not for me. It felt like I was becoming this. This shell of what I started out as. I don't know if I'd call it selling out, but I certainly wasn't truly writing what I and only I wanted anymore. I was writing what I thought others wanted to see from me because I almost had this image or idea to live up to.

There have been times where even now after such a long break when I've tried to write fandom content I've wanted to cry. My brain would blank and it was almost like I didn't write anymore so I felt like a robot on autopilot whenever I did manage to write something. And reading it back, it came across as soulless to me. I went from being someone who is passionate about my craft and the fandoms I'm in to this being who wrote for the sake of writing and for the entertainment of others alone.

I may come back and write fandom content again from time to time, but I honestly don't know. For now, I'm going to stick to my original writing and ideas and try to discover myself as a writer again. If you've read this far, I thank you. I truly do appreciate you taking the time to read and listen to what I have to say. I originally felt tempted to apologise for all of this, but I've come to realise that if I do then I will be telling myself my feelings on this are wrong or not valid. I refuse to do that to myself and go back to writing for popularity. So instead, thank you for continuing to read my fics and headcanons. Even now after months I still get notifications of likes and reblogs on my work, and I am truly grateful that you guys still read what I wrote.

If any of you do want to see what my original writing looks like as I rediscover myself as a writer, I have a very new blog @yearningforvampires where I'm just starting to write and post things (literally made the blog last night, that's how new it is). Be aware, I ONLY want you to follow that blog if you want to see my original work. If you go to that blog expecting me to start posting fandom content there, then it's not going to be the blog for you.

I love you guys, and once again thank you for reading this far and all your support. I've made some wonderful friends here and I hope that you understand where I'm coming from and what I'm doing now. Here's to new beginnings!

All my love,

Kaisarion <3

[dearestxiao]

Hey I just wanted to ask and I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfy but what happened to saekogun? I missed your #junesdegeneracyau and then I found out everything disappeared which was weird bcs I recall seeing ur blog in like March 2022

hi there nonnie... omg wow it's been such a long time since I've actually posted on this blog. thank you so much for the concern and to anyone else who's asked about me.

to give a quick tldr as to what happened with saekogun exactly: I took a break from writing right around a point in my life where I was both very busy, and slowly becoming more and more happy. the break turned out to be much longer than I thought it would be, and I one day decided to get rid of saekogun. my mental health has improved immensely, and I just wanted to say hello again.

I will start this off by saying I am very much alive and well. at the start of my first semester last year I decided to take a break from writing so that I could focus on my classes and internship and... just about everything else life had in store for me. it was initially supposed to be a short two week break, which is why I had initially never posted about it. but as more and more time went on, big (good) things kept happening in my life, and I had felt as if my mental health had additionally improved being away from tumblr. I decided that, for the sake of my mental well-being, I would not return for quite some time until I was fully stable enough to do so.

tumblr was a really weird source of turmoil in my life back then, which is kind of funny to say now that I look back on it (it sounds sooooo unserious, I know I know). I never talked about this openingly on my blog, but I did struggle a lot with my mental health, especially as someone with bpd. during the time that I wrote for saekogun, I had consistent and heavy episodes and mood swings. I knew no one else with bpd nor did I have someone I could talk about it with, so I felt a bit alone.

I felt very alone in my struggles and used tumblr as a sort of crutch and aid and it helped. immensely. but it also hurt me in different ways. I treated tumblr as a big responsibility in my life and it felt like I had a full time job as a content creator. I'm also neurodivergent and my executive function issues were beating me up without remorse. this was at a point in my life where I really did not have time for running my blog, but writing and interacting with the lovely following I had generated felt great. it was just too much for me though unfortunately, so I decided to move on.

I decided that I would keep the blog up running so that people could still enjoy it in my absence. however, one night after thinking on it for months I decided to just get rid of it. it sounds odd, but now that I was healing, that blog was just too representative and tied to a bad era of my life for me to want it to keep existing. so I banished it into the void, never to be seen again.

a lot of stuff has happened between now and then. to keep things short and sweet, I'm a lot happier now. I won't say things are absolutely perfect, because not everything can be of course, but I feel as though I've healed and grown. some amazing things have happened and for the first time in years I experienced true joy for a very long period of time. I'll stop myself from rambling before I get too cheesy and corny. but just know that it fr does get better y'all. I'm so glad I've lived long enough to a point where I can confidently say that.

I have a lot of regrets when it comes to saekogun. I definitely was not the best blog runner. I was constantly behind on asks and projects and I made lots and lots of mistakes when it came to my posting schedules and how I handled asks. I had so many asks that I never got to and made so many promises I couldn't keep. for that I deeply and utterly apologize. I do wish that I had done better and am sorry to those who've I disappointed. I thank everyone who had took the time to send something in and put time and energy into my blog.

another regret I have is not saving the color blue before I had gotten rid of the blog. that story is unfortunately lost to time itself since I don't have any portion of it saved. which sucks because if there was anything I'd continue to write about here from my old blog, it'd be that, but I have no access to it now.

I'm also sorry for anyone I have worried in my absence. I really should have made a post sooner, but I honestly had no idea what to say. I didn't know how to come back, and the longer I took to say anything, the harder it got.

I am beyond grateful for everything you've all had done for me, and for sticking around and checking up on me, and for enjoying my content in the first place. I cannot put into words how much it means to me for people to have cared about my silly little degenerate posts. from the bottom of my heart, I seriously thank you all. I also thank my sweet anons, old mutuals, and any followers who are still here.

now, onto the big question: will I ever write for this blog again? the answer is... iffy. I often fantasize about being able to write again, but the truth is I'm not into genshin anymore whatsoever, which is an issue since my primary fandom was always genshin. at some point after sumeru's initial release, I was simply just not as into the game anymore, and was too busy to actually sit down and play. I have no idea what's going on lore or game wise, and anything thats happened fandom wise either.

unfortunately, I'm not interested in getting back into genshin, so I'm very sorry to disappoint anyone who was hoping for more content like what I used to create.

however, I love writing. and I'm still really into yanderes and dark fiction as a whole. but I'm currently not into any fandoms that I think people would really be interested in so I don't think I have much to offer in terms of content. so for now, it's a... maybe? I guess we can talk about that as time goes by.

this is absolutely not to promise I'll actually be back though. I'm not sure if I'd be able to run a blog still to be honest, atleast not consistently. but I would love to drop by and post a little something every now and then and talk with you all.

thank you all once again, and thanks to whoever read this entire mess of words. listen, I'm rusty okay 😔