#I just feel so bad for her :( she’s heartbroken.
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DE did such a good job writing the hex that i genuinely cannot bring myself to even consider doing a reset just to get a few more interactions
ive grown too attached to them. it doesnt feel worth it just to get a few other chats out of them, not because id have to grind it all back up but because i know their fears and worries and they confided in me and it feels so unfair!!! my drifter went thru enough hellish loops why would they do it to a place they consider home!!
DE why would you do this to me!!!
#andro talks#warframe 1999 spoilers#prompted by me reaching bestie status with lettie#and being heartbroken over the fact we wont chat anymore#shes my favorite hex to talk to and it sucks so bad that i wont be able to chat with her anymore#DE WHY ARE THERE NO MORE BESTIE CHATS#LETTIE COME BACK DONT LEAVE ME!!#like sure i can just read what other people post but its not the same!!!#thats not my drifter talking and having moments with the hex!!#DE i am begging on my knees give us random chats past bestie status once in a while so it doesnt feel like we got ghosted
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A couple late-night drawings. Yes you will be seeing a lot of her on here in the coming uh, days? Weeks? Depends on how quickly my brainrot dies out I guess.
#regretevator#regretevator bive#regretevator fanart#also I tried to buy the bive plush yesterday but my card won’t go through#GENUINELY heartbroken over it she looks so cute and spherical im obsessed#maybe I should call my card company again cause I really wanna buy it#and I would feel bad buying it off of aliexpress or some shit like that cause I do wanna support the creators yk#anyways pretend I drew her other arm in the second drawing I just got lazy lmao#my art#also also I might. try drawing split at some point cause she’s super pretty like my god I understand why bive likes her so much
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people dont talk enough about how heartbreaking the marlon betrayal mustve been for clem too,,
this dude saves the life of her and her kid. takes them in has them patched up gives them their first hot meal in who knows how long. gives them a safe place to stay. possibly permanently. confides in her that hes trying to be a good leader but feels like and fears that hes failing. asks her to help him take care of the rest of the group. helps her get over her fear of dogs by asking her to trust him. and things go well. she feels safe. like this place could really finally be the home shes been looking for
but as soon as she finds out what happened to the twins. that marlon planned on giving up her and aj too. she immediately becomes a liability to him and he attempts to kill her for it. locks her in the basement to die by walker. then tries to turn the group against her so he can shoot her instead when the first method fails. and he nearly succeeds
then a majority of the group turn against clem the minute aj kills marlon. ignoring marlons mistakes but condemning aj for his. like clem wasnt betrayed by marlon in the exact same way he betrayed the twins. like she literally wasnt almost killed twice? and how long had he been considering giving her up? was it always some contingency he planned? did he truly want to keep them around and things only changed when he feared the raiders had returned? she'll never know
#i think about this a lot... the betrayal... clems deep trust issues... then they all want to kick her out (except vi aasim and tenn 💕)#when she was just as impacted if not more so than the rest of them. since she was the only one with her Life on the line#thats why violet fighting so hard for them to stay is so important imo and would MEAN SO MUCH to clem too#vi and aasim are the only ones who can see past the bullshit and realize that theyre safer with clem around#while the rest would rather kick her out so they dont have to acknowledge their confused feelings about marlon#like first marlon betrays her then the rest of the group tell her to get fucked and die. dont come back. we never want to see you again#but she does. and she saves them#personally i do think marlon had 'good' intentions but he was a scared and fucked up kid who made bad decisions#and continued to make bad decisions to cover for his previous fuck ups#but that just makes him interesting :)#and i like teaching aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly#all of clems 'wow i feel so safe here :) and these guys seem smart :)' personal dialogue around ericsons makes me 😭#she was so happy to be at ericsons. and they turn against her so fast when she was more of a victim than any of them#aj is a literal baby. do not treat him like an adult who can make fully rationalized decisions. hes a baby and he only knows survival#at least they slowly get over it after clem comes back (some take longer than others...)#but the lack of compassion in voting to kick them out is heartbreaking. she was heartbroken#and thats not acknowledged as much as it should be#posting this old drafted post now cuz it expands my feelings on clems broken heartedness about the marlon situation#it speaks#twdg
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So uh. MelDan ammirite? This (kinda) blew up on Insta and other socmed I use so ig I'mma upload this here too lol
It started as a crackship (and it's still is, I kinda like to jokingly them imagine them pretending to like each other but actually wanting to skin each other alive, a little ooc for both of them, but it's mostly just for fun) but rn I'm exploring the potential ""relationship"" through a more angsty lense.
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#hpma oc#hpma daniel#my art#magic awakened#daniel page#melly anderson#melly anscombe#OK SO#I think that there's many different ways these two could “work”#I could go with a safe route aka transfem!Daniel x Melly all cute and sweet#OOOOR I could make it angsty and potentially one sided#my current idea? Daniel knows Mel is a metamorphmagus and wants her to tell him who she really is#but Mel ofc doesn't really want that for many reasons#she doesn't feel comfortable sharing who she really is bc she doesn't want people to know the real her in general#if she tells Dan he'd pry more and he'd discover WHY she's pretending to be Melly and that's a no no#this frustrates Daniel to no end he's not even sure if Mel even likes him back sometimes#Mel feels bad for deceiving Daniel snd wants to be honest w him but she can't#although I do have somewhat of an idea why Mel would get involved w him like this I'm still trying to figure it out#(she's probably having a comphet phase + she feels lonely af and needs a distraction from everything + to move on from Melissa and Cass)#and maybe also Ivy? she avoids her several reasons despite feeling heartbroken to do so#real question is tho what does Dan even see in her lol#that's def smth I gotta think about lol#but yeah. it's not canon to any of my current universes it's just for some mindless fun
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2024 is not a good year
#uncle called and apparently one of the good aunts is on her deathbed she has only few days left#so mom and dad went to visit her#we already had one death in jan#idk i dont feel anything does that make me a bad person i mean i did meet her few times she was nice she has a big floffy dog she used to#call her son because she did not have kids and an year or two ago he passed away so she was really heartbroken#plus her and her husband were the only sane loving couple#but i don't feel sad? idk it was just oh?oh...#tw death#mine
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#i literally this close to ruining a friendship with confessing my feelings for my friend 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#i mean it's kind of a well known secret that i have feelings for her :)))))#tonight i drank some wine and we had a convo about how im waiting for her and if she'd asked me out i would be to shy to say anything at all#and all that shit. the usual back and forth halfhearted flirting we've been doing for years#but it's fuckin killing me right now because a few months ago i realized i actually do have feelings for her :DDDD#and like. she knows it i just never said it outright. but she fuckin knows. everyone fuckin knows who knows us that there's something lmfao#and im literally this close to just telling her it all#and im pretty fuckin sure that would ruin everything because she's been together with her boyfriend around the same time we met :)))#and even if she has feelings for me then what bro? she'd never drop him and I don't think our friendship could go on if i confess :)))#even though it super obvious:)))))#i dont even know what im taking about anymore im just fuckin sad and heartbroken bro#I've only had deeper feelings twice and both were for my best friends who are in relationships#but oh my god this time it feels so much fucking worse#i ghosted her last a week because i just couldn't deal with constantly feeling like shit and being jealous every time she mentions ger bf#AND IT FEELS LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT TO NOT BE HAPPY FOR HER??? SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND I SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HER HAPPINESS#BUT I CAN'T BE A 100% HAPPY AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY AND BAD#i just need like a car or sth to take me out bro i can't do this 🥲🥲🥲#I just want these feelings to go away oh my god how many months will it be#i really feel like I can't keep this to myself anymore. and that would just ruin everything#oh my god just kill me#ÁGNES IF YOU SEE THIS FUCKING POST THEN NO YOU DON'T#not like I don't cry to you about this every 3 days#anyway im sorry. next year i will get to the requests in my inbox aye? :'DD#shut up vivien no one cares
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Sier? I haven’t even met her! Laugh.
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#eternal gales#today has been a shit day but Im feeling a bit better now that I’ve drawn sier#long story short one of my friends is being harassed by their ex#so I’ve been in a blinding rage all day and combined with me not getting enough sleep and cleaning all day today quite sucked#but hey. I drew sier and made them a new mini ref so that’s gotta count for something#but yeah sier my beloved I’ve been thinking abt them all day they’re just so cute and I love drawing them#I forgive them for being a human character they’re silly and have shapes#I now have only 4 eg refs to go I think? which is honestly a lot closer than I thought I was I thought this was gonna be another year of#last minute refs for artfight and some that don’t get remade but honestly this is super doable#rly the only big problem is going to be fydd since it’s been so long since I’ve drawn him properly#the other three are just dodie tali and bloom which shouldn’t be too bad at all#now idk if the icons are happening but it’s definitely feeling a lot more doable now so idk maybe I’ll get to some of them#key word maybe I make no promises#thankfully I don’t rly have any other ocs that I feel pressed to make new refs for so I can take it easy leading up to artfight this year#I’d like to get some of them icons but that’s not necessary#hopefully sier will get drawn this year she hasn’t been attacked since her old design from years ago lol#but sier is also a character I’ve gotten other pieces of art of over the years so I won’t be heartbroken if they keep getting ignored lol#I don’t rly know who I’d like to see attacked most tbh#obviously I’m always happy to see art of any of my ocs but usually I do have a preference#so Im excited to see who gets attacked even if it’s only a few of them#I’m willing to bet teke will get at least one attack I believe in him#hopefully teka gets drawn too I love her dearly as well#anyways shower time and then sleep time gn gamers
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sobbing
#its kinda dumb#but im so angry and heartbroken that katie got rid of all our LPS's#i always have been ig#she did it with a lot of shit that our smaller parts miss really bad#we used to wake up in the middle of the night with anxiety that she had gotten rid of something else we loved and then we'd go check#god i hate her#what the actual fuck#i also used to dread when winter would be over because i knew there would be a mandatory day i had to go through everything#and i wasnt allowed to Not#she's so fucking mean#just. that's a fucking child man#let them have their fucking things#im also angry because i can't replace these things to try and make us feel better or whatever#that's stuff that's just gone and not being produced anymore#im so sad#genuinely someone just was like. I want to die so theres some intense feelings in the brainspace rn#fascinating what stuff really hurts#i'm glad it's not everything anymore#but you'd assume the big stuff would still cause the most distress#granted there is some big stuff that is still heavily dissociated from anyone who fronts#most alters are internal only tbh#or emergency only#i've made a lot of progress but i think ive just realized that there's still a lot to go#and it's probably a lot of stuff that im embarrassed to call trauma#it's easier to call rape trauma than psychological/emotional abuse#even the more covert sex abuse is easier for me to accept
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ok guys i dont wanna be a hater but im gonna be 100% honest i didnt rlly like the nimona movie 😭 I MEAN IT WAS FUN. it was nice. but i feel like it was missing everything that made me like the original graphic novel and honestly by the last like 30 minutes i was kind of just waiting for it to be over so i could read the book again 😭 NO HATE TO ANYONE WHO RLLY LIKED IT believe me when i say i dont think it is bad or anything. but i feel like just sooooo much was changed that it didnt feel like nimona at all to me. idk how to explain it, im sure once i reread the book i’ll be able to put it into words since the original will be more fresh in my mind. i think it was good but as someone who was literally obsessed w the og graphic novel it was honestly kinda disappointing. but i dont rlly care honestly its still rlly cool it got a movie!!
but in my mind at least it proves that some things dont need to be made into a movie. ppl act like movies are the best form a piece of media can take and if something gets made into a movie then that’d be the peak form of it. but i honestly think nimona works wayyyyyy better in its original graphic novel form. most of the early stuff is way more slice of life lowkey stuff that lets you get attached to ballister and nimona as characters and get invested in their relationship w each other, BEFORE all the angsty final act stuff happens. also there honestly was just a ton of stuff that felt to me like it worked better in the original, like jousting tournament thing instead of the knighting ceremony, nimona being captured and being forced to turn into her “true” form rather than this new version with it just sort of happening bcuz of Emotions, etc. also the movie suffered from a lot of pacing and tone issues imo but the former i think is just from that lack of the slow buildup of their friendship, and the latter is something that i think just worked better in the book. idk again I’LL BE ABLE TO SAY THIS STUFF MORE CONCRETELY WHEN I ACTUALLY REREAD THE BOOK but i dont remember there being so much jokes and goofy shit DURING serious scenes. like iirc in the original during serious scenes it was SERIOUS. but in the movie theres so many unnecessary unfunny jokes and stuff. idk IDK i probably just had too high expectations idk. anyways
#also im kind of mad they changed the ending i know it works similarly but like THE TONE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT#in the movie ballister goes back to the lair and you hear her voice and he gets all excited and goes ''HOLY SHI-'' and then it cuts to title#which seemed rlly lighthearted and played for laughs and srry but THE ENDING OF NIMONA ALWAYS MADE ME CRY SO IT LOWKEY PISSED ME OFF ToT#IN THE ORIGINAL. he wakes up in the hospital and the nurse like talks to him or whatever and then she comes in again and hes like ?? u were#just here. and shes like no?? and then he sees on the clipboard the nurse left behind the firsttime theres a shark drawing (or smthn)#clearly drawn by nimona. and you see his eyes widen and he rushes out of the room and he runs through a crowd desperately trying to find her#and then he sees her there. in the crowd. and he just stares looking sort of heartbroken. and she gives him a quiet bittersweet little wave#and then she disappears into the crowd. and thats the last you see of her#I FUCKING LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT ENDINGGGGGG IM ACTUALLY SO MAD THEY CHANGED IT#also sorry i will die mad about the climax THE CLIMAX OF NIMONA IS WHAT GETS ME EVERY FUCKING TIME.#THOSE PAGES WITH THE HUGE MONSTER AND LITTLE GIRL NIMONA JUST RIPPING INTO BALLISTER MAKE ME CRYYYYYYY DAWG THEYRE SO GOOD#idk. idk. i cant put it into words but just the overall vibes of the book are so much better imo. i think nd stevenson's style fits the#story reallyyy well and idk if the movie's style rlly does the same. also i wish the movie wasnt as sanded down like the original wasnt like#INAPPROPRIATE. it wasnt adults only. but it had a lot more like. blood and rude humor and stuff. and i miss that#i think the best way i can put it is. the original is the scratchy ever evolving style of nd stevenson it feels raw and unfiltered#and thats why i love it and why it moves me so much. while the movie is much more polished and round and soft and im gonna be honest:#I DONT LIKE IT! sorry. having my hater moment#<- lightheartedly again I DONT THINK THE MOVIE IS BAD i just think that by comparison the book is way better#still incredibly happy for and proud of the whole team that made the movie i think its awesome!!!!#just my personal opinion#serena.txt#nimona spoilers#<- idk if anyone actually needs this but jic
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#okay i need to vent a second#im literally heartbroken rn#this friend of mine just told me that she feels that ‘our friendship is starting to revolve around me’ bcs i asked her to help me once with#wheelchair practice and i was late to a meet up once and i am genuinely without words rn#like she’s been late multiple times and i’ve always let it go bcs i don’t think it’s that big of a deal but im late once and suddenly im an#awful friend#and yeah i need some more accommodations than most people but i feel like it’s obvious why#and to say that it weighs on u is genuinely cruel to me#cause i always try to make myself smaller so i dont bother people and u know that very well so to call me a weight is the cruelest thing#and she said that she feels like our friendship now is just about me discovering the world and her just being there#an insane thing to say when she knows how hellish these past years have been for me and how now im finally able to go out#it’s like am i not allowed to be happy?#i am so sad but also so angry#also the fact that she sent me this when she knows i’ve just started uni and im so stressed and overwhelmed is just beyond me#like does she even like me? does she care about me? she claims she does and then does this like wth#and i dont wanna be a bad friend and maybe she’s right and i am but im trying my best here#and im always there for her when she needs me so i dont get why she’s trying to make it seem like im not#like idek how to answer her#this is really not what i needed rn
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gd. i need to watch 10 things i hate about you again
#I'm getting rly sad abt everything again i need my friend kat stratford nobody gets me thebway she does#but most of all i hate the fact i hate you not even clode not even a little not even at all Im gonna kns.#i love how her poem is very very emotional and makes me cry but it also so perfectly is like. a poem a heartbroken highschooler would write#like it isnt good. ykwin like it IS it evokes emotion but its very like. idk it judt feels like a real highschooler would write it after a#bad breakup n i think thats nice. bc i think they couldve had like. a way more generic technically better poem#and it just wouldnt have fit as well bc id be like No she didnt write that#the poem just did a rly good job capturing like. Her voice even tho we dont roy see her writing at all aside from the poem its likee. it#truly feels like she would write it... basically. good movie snd i miss it and i miss patrick also. and whats his face and Bianca are there#too i guess.#sry theyre sp boring and kat and pat are my best friends of all time they stole the show so much .
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I wanna write my angsty problematic Homura/Sayaka/Madoka fic idea but I have never been good at writing more than one shots and I haven't been able to write a sentence in over a year of literally anything....
#by problematic I mean a heartbroken Sayaka who fell in love with Homura because Hitomi and Kyosuke are already dating#Accidentally mutters out about how she wishes Homura would love her as much as Madoka#Kyubey takes it as a wish and grants it much to sayaka's dismay pushing her even more into despair#Homura loses it because wtf her feelings are being controlled and hates sayaka#everything goes to shit and homura timeloops but realizes sayaka's old wish is still affecting her#and she has to deal with liking and hating every new sayaka blaming them but also coming to terms with it not being intentional#I want it to exist so bad and have weird angsty like everyone just thinks Homura is a tsundere for Sayaka bullshit#but the writing struggle
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the tiny metronome in my brain aggressively ticking back and forth between wanting to make cap and max fluff or cap and max angst
#there's just so much pining and denial for so long that it hurts#until one of them finally cracks and the masks fall off and they're forced to stop bottling everything up#and then the starvation and the indulgence and actually being seen and cared for#can this intimacy be accepted can it be given#and then we get to fallbrook and I just want them to hurt SO bad I want her to feel betrayed and heartbroken and angry#i want him to beg and pour his heart out and that feeling that he doesn't deserve forgiveness and should be abandoned#begging her to please talk to him to please just look at him one more time#and cap knowing how she feels about him how she isn't gonna abandon him how she isn't ready to give up on him yet#but feels so hollow and hurt she can't even find her own voice to say something and she knows it's breaking him#MAKE ME STOP RAMBLING MY THOUGHTS WE GO ON FOREVER#THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN ARTICULATE THESE THINGS ANYMORE#I'm fucking spaced I need to sleep I'm sorry to anyone who might read this lmao
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i think i am Healed. i felt recognized here wow. warms hugs for u author! (spoilers in the tags)
subtle variations of heartbreak (index)
Summary: a series of stand alone one-shots depicting every kind of heartbreak you will undoubtedly experience in your 20s
Pairing: fem. reader x Ateez
Genre: college au, high school au, oh boy lovers to exes, unrequited love, friends with benefits, like a whole lotta angst read with caution, fluff, smut
Warnings: a LOT of insecurity talk, sexual content, cheating, trust issues, communication warnings idk i’ll add if theres anything else
A/N: this will be a short series, one chapter for each member. they can be read as stand-alones but they’re all tied together kinda. i’ll warn you right now i doubt you will like any of these characters because theyre all going to break your heart so… idk when i’ll post the first part, maybe tomorrow or later on in the week.
if anyone would like to be added to the taglist just dm me :)
MY MAIN MASTERLIST!
INDEX:
1. The First Love
drabbles: this is what i have to do
2. The Hookup Buddy
3. The Blind Sider
drabbles: (don’t wanna) be responsible
4. The Game Changer
drabbles: dream of her
5. The One That Got Away
drabbles: the winner takes it all
6. When You End It
drabbles: messy as you want
7. Friends Can Break Your heart Too
8. The Cheater
drabbles: no good
part-time lovers
9. The One
drabbles : (not) my baby
still into you
sleepover
#woosan my babes. oh i bawled SO BAD.#and yunho as the first love#U KNEW WHAT U WERE DOING!!!!!!#this was a journey and we bawled half the time but San MY GREEN FOREST MWAH#jin as a therapist turned friend JWHDFHG I BARKED#JUNGKOOK AS A SILLY FRIEND AWOOOOO#and mean seonghwa was trauma inducing sorry. I was gasping for air after that segment like.#i think i'll visit this series everytime i feel heartbroken bc wow u created a Fiction so angsty yet so accepting#AND THE LIFE GOES ON AT EVERY PART AND THE FULL NAME ASGSHHHH#AND IN WOOSAN'S PARTS ITS JUST PLAIN ACCEPTANCE AND JUST SO CHEFS KISS#choi jongho OH lord. wait till i catch You. his part stressed me out so bad i facepalmed so bad.#mingi's part had me so anxious and that drabble. Oh i was about to pull a maddy on him (?)#yeosang's part. the room mate thing he pulled and Not Know. BIG FUCKING L. like be serious. OH SORRY U CANT BE MY B#i could relate to hongjoong's part a lot because hahahahahahaha ... cbtm and that grocery meeting with mc MIND WENT WEE WOO STOP CRYING!!!#wooyoung. bro's a smash. Top Tier Bad Bitch.#sani my san-ah. get urself a choi san or no one else.#A cat's a better companion than a man who's not a choi san embodiment.#moral of the story : it passes#played entire namjoon discography and bruh when yn was getting a grip on her life with jin you're on ur own kid's last chorus played and#i had snot all over my face.#all the ateez member there but i literally sobbed with knees to my chest when mc got to know about her mother and mr jeong....#OH lord the way her mother helped her burn yunho's memories away WHEW. i love her the most.#future chika will remember u when they have good choice in Men.#if this doesnt tell u how much life altering this fic was for me then i think i should just kiss u and lay rose petals underneath ur feet.#namjoon loves you#chika whos going to be gwenchana.#im sorry i keep adding but when mc said she a scorpio BRO I SQUELED CUS BABY SAMEEEEEEEEEEE#ateez x reader
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last night everyone was having traumas back to back and I wish none of it happened but it feels nice to be the first person they call
#at least your birthday was technically over#and poor kay#feel so sad for her#life mang#I wanna not be at my busy ugly job today#at least I ate my weight in mini blueberry pancakes today#didn’t sleep enough and have lots of anxiety today#listened to noah kahan on break because his voice soothes my brain#my poor niece man#the text she just sent depressed me so bad#I'm too sensitive to other peoples pain like whyyyy do I feel it too#it's also her tho and never want her to be heartbroken#maybe it'll be best in the long run though idk anymore#itll work out how it's suppose to but also idk if u can come back from that#asking and hearing that response l'd be done for sure#but it sucks and I wanna protect her from stuff like this#shes strong and she'll be okay with or without him#she just doesn't know that right now and is being delulu about it because she loves him#let’s see what happens this time#could just be smoothed over again but I’ll definitely see him differently now#and worry about this happening every few months because she deserves more#sucks cus he’s a really good kid and takes care of her but obviously needs to work through things alone rn and grow#just want her to be happy and feel emotionally safe especially with all the abandonment issues she’s gotta have hurts me#poor kid it sucks#she’ll be okay though
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More talking to myself
#the being sad comes and goes but at least its not soul crushing like i thought it would be#not yet anyways#i went to go see my aunt with my mom yesterday. she was actually awake and seemed to at least acknowledge we were there#it was very sweet. we feel horrible for my uncle#hes so heartbroken and i feel bad that thats the part im most sad about#anyways. i know now shes gonna be gone by the end of the week. if she doesnt pass before tuesday theyre pulling her off the ventilator#that night because wednesday is her birthday#i dont know if having a time frame in mind makes it better or worse. im just sad
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