#I just cannot believe honestly
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you'd think that saying "this is not a point for debate, this is me telling you how I actually feel" would like. trigger at least an understanding if not an apology but no
#I just cannot believe honestly#my first time telling someone irl I think of myself as nb rather than woman and boy did it well#not go wrong exactly but rather baffling#this is a very close friend I'm talking about and yeah in the end we settled on#you can be whatever you wanna be#but like#taking it as a point for debate and a challenge just felt really weird#- I rather think of myself as nb these days - but phYsiCalLy yOu'Re a wOmAn#sigh#- I'm definitely not a man but not a woman either - BuT yoU ARE a-#BIG FUCKING SIGH#so does it mean you're gonna change your pronouns now#no I'm not changing them but that's not the point#although that's in Russian only idc for Russian pronouns but hey I'd love to be addressed as they/she in English bc it feels right I think#anyway after I repeatedly stressed the that's how I feel now point of conversation I got a 'sure you can be whatever u want'#so we're okay now I think#still feels so fucking weird#gender#ah fuck it I'm not done here#it honestly makes me not want to talk about it to any other ppl in my life it feels so discouraging#bc this friend is the first fiend I ever came out to as bi#and all the support I got back then I just#didn't even have the slightest trepidation I just said it bc it just came up in the conversation#and that reaction was like a slap in the face and like oh#Oh#is this transphobia#even though I'm not trans???#and I know I know I'm not doing nonbinary wrong bc there is no wrong way to be nb#yet I catch these thoughts here and there and have to shut them down#which is not something I was going for!! I'm outta tags turns out you cannot rant for more than 30 oh well
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I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him
#kilgharrah when i catch you#this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core#you were never supposed to succeed love#I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that#thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time)#and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end#say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL#and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has#what else can he do#lets just hope he's right this time#bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work#merlin#bbc merlin#merthur#cannot take much more of this guys send help
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the fact that eddie had six billion times more chemistry and sexual tension with that priest in their 4 minutes of shared screen time than he’s ever had with any of his girlfriends. truly incredible stuff, THIS IS YOUR GAY EDDIE!!!!!!!!!! he is happy and joyful and free and flirty and being gentle with himself and not sad or tragic or lonely even a little bit!!!! he is not mired in self hatred or drowning in angst, he is getting hit on under the sun and SMILINGGGGGGG and dancing in his UNDERWEAR ABOUT IT!!!!!
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Bro you do not have to nyah ^w^ everytime u see ur bodyguard
#venture bros#rusty venture#brock samson#the venture bros#art#i dont even remember the context of this screenshot-#i honestly just saw a post with it and was like i want to redraw it...#rusty is such a catboy its not even funny- between the meowing and the constant :3 face#hes diseased-#also dont look at the bg i didnt even wanna do one LOL#brusty#CANNOT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TAG RHAT
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hi
#persona#persona 5#p5#goro akechi#akechi goro#honestly i wanted to do the full team but#i dont have the time for that 😭#lxm fanart#i cannot believe i made my monthly art quota this entire month has just been a trainwreck for me#me? avoiding full body art? never..
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something about a connection you'll always want but can never make
#atris#the exile#jedi exile#kotor#kotor 2#kotor ii#my art#honestly this is maybe the first time in over a month i didn't just close csp after five minutes in frustration#not to say that i'm too happy with this but at least it's passably finished#but like!! i get atris!! as a person who cannot make or keep connections i WOULD both resent and admire a person to whom that came easy!!!!#you trick yourself into believing you should be an outside observer because you've never really been on the inside! atris is really just a#lonely girl on the jedi academy playground at heart
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May Le Fay
(For @queer-ragnelle's May Day Parade!)
The Queen of Avalon in all her sorceress glory with a raven companion, illuminated by the light of the stars and a crescent moon. Woe to any knight-errant who happens to come across her in the darkness of the forest!
#she is so interesting and honestly one of the most iconic arthurian characters#there have been many different interpretations of her ranging from benevolent to outright malevolent#but i do not believe she is a villain - simply misunderstood in her moral ambiguity#she was there for arthur at the end so she cannot be entirely evil#despite the shenanigans of course. perhaps she's just a bit of a prankster#arthuriana#arthurian legend#arthurian mythology#morgan#morgan le fay#may day parade#art#my art#merilles
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I’m fine.
Jimmy Solidarity personally solved a gaping plothole in my smalletho fic today.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
It’s fine.
#I cannot believe him out here telling Etho Joel calls him babe#& Etho just saying oh snap & then proceeding to fixate on everything Joel for much of the tour#simply can’t.#this is so perfect specifically for my au#for something I was struggling to figure out this morning#is this real life is this fantasy#so yeah. definitely will be internally screaming for a while about this.#god today’s streams were so good.#honestly from what I watched I feel everyone significantly outdid themselves#today was amazing.#smalletho#smallidarity#hermitshipping#trafficshipping#Retail Purgatory AU
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while isha was very much a cutesy character that helped soften some of the harsh moments of season 2, i ultimately feel that her existence was unnecessary.
the moment she appeared onscreen and immediately tagged along with jinx, i got the sense that she was incredibly hamfisted into the plot for the purpose of eventually making jinx Suffer More. the progression of their relationship (which i understand happened over a timeskip, but seriously that timeskip is doing too much heavy lifting -- a problem in its own) from "annoying kid following me around" to "new little sister" isn't elegantly alluded to, it's constantly made extremely obvious. and just to make sure we get the point, riot puts the final nail into that narrative coffin by having jinx literally say aloud that isha is a basically a younger version of powder and paints her hair blue. and then two episodes later, she's gone. just to give jinx yet another reason to go insane, which she doesn't really need.
isha has literally no dialogue. she serves to remind the audience of jinx's past, minus the trauma. it's easy and expected to project a young powder onto every scene she's in, which is just a waste of a new character. but even before the direct isha/powder comparison, jinx declares that she's discarded that persona, that "jinx" is no more. somehow, isha's mere presence even calms down jinx's psychosis to the point that she has a mild break for presumably the first time in a while only after isha is taken away, which just feels extremely lazy and gratuitous -- like the big bad Insanity is just a convenient lever to pull when the plot needs more tension and drama, rather than something that jinx has suffered from her whole life, and which silco's death amplified to the max.
all of the interesting plotlines i was looking forward to, like caitlyn's spiral into vengeance and fascism, jinx's rage and grief and psychosis causing chaos, vi and caitlyn either reconciling or being unable to in the end... it all just feels like it was brushed aside. jinx, after firing a rocket that killed half the piltover council, decides she just won't fight piltover anymore; caitlyn, who's grateful for ambessa's support and guidance in her crackdown on zaun, suddenly turns on her to aid vi; vi, forgetting her life-threatening feud with jinx, abruptly remembers they indeed are sisters who shared a life. so many conflicts conveniently resolved in seconds, when they should've taken at least a few minutes to untangle -- all because we needed so much time devoted to isha and jinx's relationship.
don't get me wrong, i LOVE the emotional moments that have been present so far. i think they do still hit, but their beauty is definitely muted because the pacing is a complete disaster. it was really difficult to enjoy isha having a bug battle with jinx when 1. i didn't even really recognize that jinx and 2. i was constantly thinking about what the other characters were doing. with how many plotlines need to be wrapped up before the finale (zaun's independence, the black rose vs. the medarda clan, mel's supposed magehood, etc.), i'm really not confident that we'll get a satisfying ending, and honestly i wouldn't have minded not having isha in the plot at all if it meant we could get a more coherent and less rushed overarching storyline.
#arcane isha#arcane#insights#arcane spoilers#sigh... and i really truly believed arcane would go the route of the legendary entirely faithful and high-quality game-to-tv adaptation#who knows? maybe i'm just an asshole for not being completely enamored with isha#but i really did not feel like her presence was organic#we don't need her to see what jinx as a normal adult could have been because we already KNOW she had that path closed off to her years ago#and she already had more than enough to propel her chaotic fury and madness after season 1#so now that most of season 2 has NOT been about her waging war on piltover... i do feel rather disappointed#despite the eternal beauty of the animation and the worldbuilding and the music... season 2 cannot hold a candle to season 1#i’m conflicted because she was honestly adorable and her moments were cute but i would take finished storylines over her any day
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literally when has another ship given as much as bakudeku has. when has another ship encompassed so many tropes all at once while also having the relationship develop the way it has???? sometimes i’m just like dumbfounding by the depth that exists between them like they’re not just childhood friends, they’re not just rivals to lovers they’re not just starcrossed they’re not just punk x nerd or jock x jock or nerd x nerd or whatever the fuck they’ve gone from best friends to broken to fixed to i would die for you x i would kill for you like????? the nicknames???? the fact that katsuki has never told deku to stop calling him kacchan even when their relationship was at their lowest???? the fact that he was carrying his all might card with him the whole time???????????? the fact that izuku is so defensive he unlocked new powers multiple times because of kacchan and katsuki is so defensive he was willing to die TWICE for izuku?????? even the smaller things, all might rooting for them, aizawa saying his whole thing about how the two of them push their entire class to go above and beyond,, house arrest boys???? ohhh my goddddd like i know we all know but i can’t stop thinking about all of this all the time 😩😩😩
#i still cannot believe that the story has developed to a point where bakugou is so open and honest about his feelings#and dekus still out here ‘controling his heart’ MFER PLEASE TELL US HOW YOU FEEL IN RETURN#BOTH OF YOU SAY IT TO EACH OTHERS FACES#kacchan held izuku when izuku passed out in his arms and now izuku is holding kacchan in his 😩😩#i’m sorry no shade but no other ship in mha is this multidimensional#just the depth of their individual characters combined with their history and the development of their relationship???#UCH I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT#honestly having trouble coming up with another ship in GENERAL that has this much going for them like they’re insane#being a bkdk makes you insane#me whenever someone calls them siblings: what da hell are you talking about#bakudeku#bkdk#dkbk#dekubaku#my stuff
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Omgomgomg I WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT ABOUT FANNY WORKING AT THE HOUSE YAYAYAYA.
Also cuss you Oswald! She did nothing! And started stardust !
Oh Fanny is afraid of her father oh no Poor Felix she shouldn’t have said that but damn did Oswald provoke her
Also the hiatus in January hope they rest up
#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#inky mystery#babqftim#the inky mystery#babitim#fanny cottontail#I just read the chapter#honestly Oswald is pissing me off#but loved the character 💞#i cannot believe I was right about Fanny working at the house#Felix’s timing is the worst Jesus
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compilation post of dorian/inquisitor content in da:v (in order of appearance)
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age inquisition#dorian pavus#the inquisitor#inquisitor lavellan#spoilers#i JUST discovered the first one on my second play through!! i sincerely cannot believe i got one more crumb.. sniffflle...#i'm honestly very happy with what we got bc it seems a lot of solavellans are split on their new content.. im love these two..
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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alright gang what we thinkin Ive been doing this without a reference this entire damn time and its KILLING my consistency.... sigh... me when i have to follow the properties of a character to draw them correctly.... (bwomp)... /j
is he fucked up enough
#his jaw was NOT being tapered and his face was a tidbit too wide and it makes all the damn difference#fuck this guy hes so weird and unusual and hes a pain in the ass to draw right and i cant for the life of me /aff#i cant do the asks because every time he looks so off and its been really bothering me honestly#his wack ass arm length vs leg length is on purpose im trying to mimic the sprite a little. I want him to be a freak and somewhat triangula#[you've got mail!]#i did this because i was sketching the next ask and like... his chest looked weird asf so i tried to do a full body underneath to fix the#proportions and it was pissing me off so i just opened a new canvas#I CANNOT believe i do not have a reference sheet. Its been like 4 months since i made one this is criminal
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sure i COULD ramble about how ai is one of the multiple things that check all the marks of humanity's seven deadly sins but would that be extreme
^^^ possibly insufficiently educated
#the pride the hubris of believing you can do better than innovation and nature by playing god and not in the fun way#the lust it's being used for in so many awful cases#the sloth the way its encouraging everyone to check original sources less before believing anything. Also to not take time to develop skill#the greed its being used for profit without consideration for ethics or fair labour#gluttony. we always have to be faster. shinier. better. no matter if it ends up being less convenient or wonky#the wrath it sows in between people creating more differences to be frustrated over. more hatred#the envy how it takes and takes. always trying to be as clever as the best humans. as beautiful as a real forest or sunset.#do you think the ai wants itself#if this were a scifi movie would we be the bad guys#but this is not a movie and the ai cannot love us. so we cannot love it. and there's that#my post#personal stuff#thinking aloud just silly yapping n jazz 没啥事做就这样咯~#( ̄▽ ̄)~*#when i was in primary school our textbooks for chinese had short stories and articles to learn about#there was a fictional scifi oneshot about a family in the future going to the zoo#the scifi zoo trip was going great until the zoo's systems went offline for a moment#and it was revealed that all the animals roaming in their enclosures were holograms#the real ones went extinct ages ago#when the computers came back online the holograms returned and there they were#honestly at first I thought it was a bit exaggerating#but I still think about it once in a while
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welp another show added to the “you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain” list 😔
#the umbrella academy#tua#i genuinely cannot believe they butchered it that badly#i honestly would have been happier if it had ended with s3#because s4 was a shitshow#truly the only saving grace was viktor#plus all the diego and luther moments#other than that#wtf did i just watch
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