#I just binged this in one go I am ill rn

[mazojo]

“You idiot we could’ve been us” moodboard

[ellecdc]

y’all get ready this about to be the new declaration of independence

okay number one DRINK SNOB

THEY ARE SO FUCKING IMPORTANT TO MEEEEEE I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREWWEWEEEHEIDHDJ WHY ARENT THEY REALLLL

hope lupin the woman you are. i’m actually gonna pass out. i so see reader and hope getting along so well it makes rem fucking dizzy cuz like, oh the woman of his dreams and his precious mom are besties? someone dig his grave already

ugh our snob is gonna be so happy she has a family and people around her BUT THE ANGST ONCE SHE TRUELY FINDS OUT THE DANGER REM IS MEDDLING IN??? DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE

number 2 poly wolfstar

are you done. are you okay? do we need to sign you in to the mental hospital? what’s with the angst? why are you doing this to me?

(i secretly want more angst LOL WHAT IF HER INSECURITIES WERE ACTUALLY TRUE LFMOAOA kill me)

WHY IS EVERYTHING U WRITE SO TRAGIC?? STOP WHO HURT MY WIFE???

ALSO CAN I PLEASE HAVE 2 HOT DOTTING BOYFRIENDS WHO RUN AFTER ME PLEASE?? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

number 3

YOU my darling wife ARE TURNING ME INTO A REGGIE GIRL STOP. I CANNOT DABBLE AND FALL FARTHER INTO THE MARAUDERS WHOLE I WILL NET GET BACK UP they’re so lovely :((( reggie is everything to me stop it rn

i’m gonna binge the rest of ur reggie fics now.

i feel like i’m missing things hold on ILL BE BACK

😭😭😭😭

1) I would die for hope lupin, no questions asked. She is going to be so important to the reader like it’s going to hurt a little almost.

And yes, it’s going to cause major issues for our boy Rem when those two gang up together hahaha

2) also I hate writing angst (that’s a lie. I hate JUST writing angst - I need happy endings or hurt/comfort or I refuse to read it or write it - not even joking I WILL NOT READ books or fics with sad endings.) but these hoes (affectionately) keep asking for angst??? What am I supposed to do? NOT give them what they want??? Mother delivers, babes.

3) I’m sorry re: Reggie that poor tragic boy 😭😭😭 he deserves you frostooo, give the boy what he wants 🥹🥹🥹 (also my phone now autocorrects your username automatically lmfao it knows my wifey)

CANT WAIT TO CHAT AGAIN SOON IVE MISSED YOU MEVER BE AWAY FROM ME THAT LOMG AGAIN PLSSS

[bl00dnb0n3s]

my plan to reach 75lbs by november <3

(for reference im 96-95lbs rn)

so my biggest struggles is being with my mom for a week bcuz shes always ON MY ASS!!!!!

-avoiding looking sick

ill always wear AT LEAST a skin tint around my mother because i start to go very pale and yellow, and always do my skincare and wash my face night n day, and always make sure to shower and keep my hygiene up and always stay hydrated.

-hiding my body

i HAVE to wear baggy clothes around her all the time, only sweats n sweaters when im with her and ill also have to make it look like my thighs havent gotten smaller (they used to be HUGE n now its noticeable whenenver i reach a new lw)

-hiding my disorder.

ill have to eat normally but i can ALWAYS portion my meals unless she prepares my dinner, lunch, breakfast. but sense i am finally starting school ill be able to say i had lunch at school and i wont have to worry about that but at the dinner table i cant act disorderd once so ever. no picking your food, no taking off bread crumbs, no try not to say no to fatty foods (thats real hard i always say no)

-fasting

i literally cannot fast at my moms no matter how hard i try she will always try and find a way to make me eat somehow n that triggers my b.e.d which is no good. and i dont wanna gain 10lbs in a week again😭 but if i do i can always fast for few days and the weight will fall off me so its fine for now? i just rather not binge i hate the feeling after i CANNOT handle it. but if i feel like i will im coming on tumblr and asking for meanspo

-calories

my calorie budget at my moms will be 1,200 MAX but my preferred is 700 cals but its very hard to stay under 700 cals when she makes me eat 3 meals a day n snacks. what the fuck. anyways as-long as i don't go over 2000 cals i wont gain a single pound of fat so yeah, and also i will try and cut out sugar when i'm there but its very hard bcuz she bakes all the time

-foods ill be aloud to have when im there

protein bars ofc, greek yogurt, granola, protein shakes, any meat, veggies, fruits but remember to count every calorie!

ill try to avoid getting fast food but if my mom wants to get starbucks with me im not saying no bcuz i dont wanna see her cry again😭

now my plan for my dads

sense he dosent think im disorderd at all and that im healthy its gonna be very easy :)

fasting

ill fast whenever, but try to spread them out and no longer then 5 days max (thats when my body starts to give out, i almost died when i did 6-7 days lol)

-NEVER eat alone. why? i dont have to if no ones making me eat? ill only eat dinner infront of my dad if its not a fasting day. (non fasting days are my omads :))

-eat downstairs when its omad. fasting eat upstairs n give the food to my dog

make it like you LOVE food (i have to do this at my dads n moms so) one way is by cooking!! i love cooking last night i made chicken n a low cal garlic sauce myself n my own recipe!! (lmk if youd like it ;))

n omads at dads r 400 cals max for dinner. if its over dont eat it all easy and try to binge at dads but thats really rare for me sense i have nothing i want to eat here 😭

NEVER GET ON THE SCALE INFRONT OF HIM. MY COVER WOULD BE BLOWN😭

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

I just saw you’re no longer gonna be writing bnha fanfic after the fucked up and evil ochako fic (good for her btw she deserves it) and while I can’t say I’m not disappointed, since I’ve been binging all your fics this weekend, I would like to know if you have any fandoms that you are thinking about writing? No pressure and no worries if you’re not! We all need a break sometimes and honestly you’ve been going so hard with everything lately especially demonology (it! fucked! me! up!) I just want to know if there’s anything that I’d be interested in watching/reading the source bc. I’m gonna be honest I’m going feral for your writing rn. Trying my hardest to remain Normal right now but I Need you to know how much I am Eating it. Idk how to end this I’m very tired but can’t sleep.

~🐳

happy that youre enjoying my stuff, and much thanks for the kind words!

unfortunately other than updating the incomplete fics on my roster (ochako and standard form) i dont think ill be posting a new fic any time soon. super appreciate the enthusiasm however, it means a lot!!!!!!! have a great one!

[lqfiles]

Lqfiles just know that im always admiring your work from afar…if you have 500 fans im one of them. If you have zero then I DIED. I am grateful for you and all your works. Your humour and writing everything is just so delicious. I binge your masterlist all the time. I CANT GET ENOUGH RAHHH Thats all for today. Ill go back to lurking in your page now..🤫🤫🤫 ill be in the shadows… 🤫🤫🤫

LMFAOOOOO THIS IS MESSAGE SOOOO:/!/&:! but thank you lolll 😭💗 i’m actually laughing this is so funny but i’m glad you enjoy my writing and binge my masterlist i’m flattered like full on blushing rn .. ill see you next time 😉

[definitelynotshouting]

Hey friend, I am absolutely rotating the HECK out of Hunger AU rn. I just binged all of the tagged posts and I'm going FERAL! Watchers being like parasitic wasps? Listeners being like fungi? Absolutely based takes.

I'm very much a fan of the emotional realism going on and I'm so terrified of Angry!Mumbo. Like. Bro doesn't get all that angry that often those folks are the scariest properly pissed.

And I relate far too much to the Search Party tbh. Something about the themes of mental and physical illness, wanting to help but not knowing how, the one you want to help not wanting help at this point, the resentment that causes on both sides of that stalemate... yeah I've been there.

Also, I am insanely curious about the ecological niche that Watchers and Listeners fulfill. Like. There has to be a reason they are the way they are. I'm insanely curious about what the environment they evolved in looked like, and even more curious as to what they provide back to the universe in return.

Like. Irl most wasps are predatory insects, controlling the population of pests and invasive species, but the tidbits you've given us about how they feed on emotions and the groups they feed on put me more in mind of, like, herding dogs. Yknow? Does that make sense? Gathering players together and moving them away from half abandoned worlds to let them dissolve back into the greater code. Maybe interviening in virus-infected worlds or virus-vulrable worlds, encouraging those players to move or perish.

And Listeners, well, fungi occupy so many diverse niches they could do just about anything, really. It's very fun to think about and I am rotating them vigorously, thank you for feeding us so well <3

(May I be 🐸 anon?)

This is such a sweet ask i am so 🥺🥺🥺🥺 abt it, im really pleased that you're enjoying the emotional realism ive committed to for this fic, because thats just such an important aspect for me-- my goal here is to depict a deeply emotional, moving, and messy situation about illness and recovery where no one's feelings are punished or demonized by the narrative. Its just so, so important to me that the Search Party (and later on, the other hermits) get their emotions properly respected and explored. Its not just about Grian, even if he is the ultimate focus-- everyone else deserves varied, emotional responses to an ugly and terrifying situation where theres hurt on all sides. This is the kind of realism i love putting in all of my writing, and the kind of justice i want to do for all characters in stories like these!!

Its a little funny how this au originally started with me brainrotting absently about Watcher biology because i wanted to explore the idea of Grian pretending to be an avian and finding certain aspects of it deeply uncomfortable. And then it just. Snowballed into this!! And now i am chewing on worldbuilding for breakfast DKXNSJDJ im really glad you enjoy the Watchers and Listeners lore!!! I need to make a proper post on Devs (or dev crystals, as theyre actually called), as well as general code structure, bc they are both so fucking cool as well

I absolutely love your herding dog analogy, and its giving me some great ideas because for the longest time i couldnt quite figure out what exactly a Watcher's ecological niche was beyond predator to Players and prey for something else that's extinct. But now im really looking at the connection between Watchers feeding habits and Players' biological need for play (or dreams, if you want to get into the minecraft end poem of it all), and theres something there that i really wanna take some time to tease out before i give a concrete answer. I need to update my hunger au masterlist LOL i am saur behind 😭

Anyway this was such a lovely ask to sink my teeth into!!!! Thank you so much for sending it, and ofc you can be frog anon!!! This was a really stimulating conversation for me so thank you again for getting my brain whirring :D i hope to see you in the inbox again!!

[oingomyboingos]

Tag 9 people you’d like to know better. I was tagged by the lovely @icannotreadcursive

Last song: spotify tells me it is Honeymoon (Forever) by Hellogoodbye, which is off of my ineffable husbands playlist. I have good omens brain rot rn 😅 accepting fic recs if u have any

Currently reading: I have been slowly churning my way thru Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia. 1950s Mexicana socialite must go investigate her cousin’s mysterious illness. the cousin lives in a spooky manor after she has married into the once-rich family of a British aristocrat, whose failed mining enterprise hangs over the town like a spectre. ALSO Tombs by Junji Ito—I very much enjoyed the title story and the one about the deep sea creature.

Currently watching: Recently finished Kingdom, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s a korean period drama with zombies. The king dies while the queen is waiting to give birth, and the current heir starts a coup. What do you do if you’re from the queen’s clan and desperately want to stay in power? Why, infecting the king’s corpse and turning him into a zombie sounds like a great way to buy time until you have a new heir. The costuming is excellent (THE!!!!! HATS!!!!!!) and the characters are genuinely so likeable.

also going apeshit for star trek lower decks

Current obsession: I blame david tenant’s wonderful acting because after bingeing good omens 3 times in the past few weeks I have now returned to doctor who and am attempting to watch the 13th doctor. it’s fine. not the best quality writing. Im curious to see where this “lone cyberman” plot goes. the evil microplastics episode was silly. i want to know more about “ruth.” i liked the mary shelley bits, but I am slightly put off by the writers not letting thirteen think on the fly. ten always used to come up with these crazy schemes in the moment. meanwhile, in the mary shelley episode, they keep asking thirteen for help and she goes “yeah my brain isn’t working right now check back later.” like, hm. I don’t like the written in incompetence. or perhaps it’s the phrasing/set up of it that’s getting to me? it’s not that there weren’t challenges that were tough for ten, but the writers’ hand wasn’t so….evident? it always felt like big time lord brain working on the problem. now it’s as if they’re telling us “hush we haven’t gotten there yet so just deal with her being dumb no we will not give you more info yet or a satisfying reason for her to act this way.” i’m also not the biggest fan of the whole “oh look at me i’m talking to myself” jokes. I know they’re trying to make the character quirky and likeable, but the joke wasn’t funny the first time and now i’ve heard it like 8 times. save me. I have heard that her final season is better, so hopefully that’s true. I think I will be taking a break for now though so that I can watch more star trek lol

alrighty I’m supposed to tag 9 people i want to get to know better so! let’s go: @kayliflower @dolly-macabre @cosmosredshift7 @godofsickdreams @idylls-in-juniper @minecraftgender @transathenacykes @lezbfrenz @great-exhibition-of-1851

(only if u want to!)

[viktors-still-beating-heart]

The ED has not been ED-ing, really. The thoughts are still there, but I have been eating pr "normally". Sometimes overeating, altho not properly bingeing, thank fuck. Probably gained some weight, probably haven't gained a crazy amount. Maybe I have.

I don't rlly give a shit abt anything atm, altho I kinda do give a lot of shits at the same time. Going to try to not gain any more weight, maybe try to lose some, try to take what opportunities I can.

On one hand, life is good rn, day-to-day shit is quite enjoyable-ish. I've made some fucking incredible, lovely friends. Idk how much they care or don't care about me, esp since they're quite new friends, but they're rlly amazing people and talking to them is a lot of fun.

Blegh. Every day, swinging between being happy and semi-fulfilled and excited abt the future, to feeling insubstantial and nothing-y, to wanting to cut everything out of my life and punish myself and rot away.

I'll be fine, I'm always fine, even if I'm not well I'm still always fine in the end. I should be glad for that, at least. Things could be so much fucking worse.

Want everyone who ever knew me to completely forget that I ever existed. Want to be shut in some dank flat in some bloated, uncaring city. Want no one to ever know that I exist. Want to spend the rest of my life in some living purgatory. Do I actually want that tho? No??? Not rlly???

Idfk. Self-pitying nonsense and bullshit, etc. etc.

Got to try and find a way to not let my feelings consume me, while still feeling my feelings fully. Got to try and just improve without kicking myself over every failure, past or present or future. Got to recognise my failures, while not allowing myself to be crushed by them.

Can I talk to people about my issues without sounding like a pathetic, self-centred whinge? Will they even be able to help me, or will I just hear things that I already know? Will my image be ever tainted in their minds? Does that matter? Do they not deserve to know how awful I truly am?

Talking into the void is good lmao, even if anyone sees this and thinks it's stupid as shit, at least you're just a distant, digital stranger. Maybe it's not stupid as shit. Egh. Not my call to make.

Might be more active on here, might not. Doomsaying rn but things are okay, this is the mentally ill den after all, most of the not-bad stuff doesn't belong here. I'm always fine. I hope you'll always be fine too, in the end.

[violetteheaven]

Okay its 1am im gna answer all of these #imnormal😋

1. Cbmi 17.2 WTF🤬

2. I am 158cm / 5’2 i stopped growing a little after my ed developed so im kind of stuck at the height of little me😭

3. Idk but any weird and off putting doll like character my ed will EAT UP (ironic am i right) like just having a sick and off putting weird scary presence

4. Boy idk

5. To be pure and cleaaaan and to distance myself from what ive been in the past, to not be desired by anyone except bf❤️❤️, to have people care idk

6. Nooo not really the closest is like i chew a TON of sweet and greasy shit i crave but i always spit it out so its kind of a “c/s binge” but obvi its not rlly the same

7. They noticed my behaviors at like bmi 23 and acted like i was dying like okay☠️☠️

8. Ballet class, occasional crosstraining, walking and pacing plus currently doing a two week everyday workout challenge loool for fun

9. Not sm but growing up chubby is like🙄🙄🙄 you know what people think abt ur weight

10. Idk but i used to love baking and i still sometimes do it but cant enjoy what i make that much 🤧 but its not rlly a big thing

11. Idk😭 i follow a ton of disordered ppl on here and twt so its hard to say

12. Idk anything

13. Unhealthy😭 (realizing now that this isnt necessarily a disordered question thing)

14. 35kg but its more of a gw atp, maybe 29-32 kg 🤷

15. No because i dont live alone and my meals are often not my choice, and my nutritionist wont let meeee but ive been planning on maybe going vegetarian asap

16. Probably when i was like 13 idk i dont remember 😭

17. Yes #queenana🔥

18. Anything sweeeeet and anything eaten with my bf bahshsh

19. This fine evening😊

20. The parasite diet!!! Or get worse diet or character ones

21. Usually XS-S, eur 34☹️☹️☹️ sizes in genreal are so triggering

22. 42,6kg rn!

23. Idk but I remember being super fascinated with ed content when I was younger 😭 it was hard to find though

24. eating disorders and mental illness should not be promoted!!! But they should be talked about more and there should be more harm reduction and awareness spread

25. Nooo i tried but got caught RIGHT IN THE ACT bahshsh so no not my thing

26. People looking at me worried and wondering if im okay🙁❤️❤️❤️

27. Depends on the people and the food but i try to be normal i do not want people to pay attention to my illness because i am very very normal looking not sick

28. YES because ive always been insecure abt my thighs and hips because theyre veeeery wide and ugly and i just wanna be thin and idk dolly jack skellington

29. Being creepy❤️

30. Boy im not doing all that

Thanks yall😋

[pro-derp]

Hello, first off im hoping you are having a good time, everything is nice and chill and all that!! After years of worshipping your bkdk fics i finally found your tumblr lol silly me, so i just wanted to show my gratitude. Ik ik im prob nothing new and a lot of people share that sentiment, but it would be a crime not to voice how much i love your works (i think about K-9 and Fishy constantly), and actually im on a reread binge spree of your works rn. Man did i miss your hilarious writing style, fascinating how its both funny and hot. You and DriftingGlass are like my og bkdk writer gods, your fics were one of the first that really struck deep and i never recovered from that. I learnt so much about writing and fics from yall. So thank you for sharing your work with us!!! It means a lot!! Id be a dirty liar if i said i dont get excited at a prospect you might write more, but dont read it as me pressuring you! If you are done with bkdk fics or anything like that, i respect that, we are all human with our own lives. Wow thats a wall of text, im sorry xkgfxfkxkg ill be going now, have a good day/night!!

Lemme tell you this melt my heart. I’m someone that’s kinda hard on myself with my writing (I get in my own head and psyche myself out a lot for no reason) so this means a lot. Actually any comment I’ve gotten to push me means a lot. I started writing just like you guys with no idea what I was doing and unsure on myself and if anything I wrote people would like. Writing is very much learning to tell the world your story the way you only can. Cause trust me I didn’t think people would enjoy my stuff since my style is a little out there. But I see your comments and others and I’m so happy I can be that person to you. That my writing can do for you what other writers published or fanfics I’ve done for me. I will tell you I do have a fic (I know I’ve been saying it but it’s at 12k and growing) so I hope to be back soon. Now it isn’t Baku/deku, who u know I still love my firecracker boy, but it is Eren/Levi. So if u were there during my Attack on Titan days, then I’ll be back. Trust me I am always amazed and so grateful for the continued support like I can’t believe you guys are still here even after I haven’t posted in so long. It doesn’t go unnoticed at all and it always gives me the little kick in the ass I need. I hope to be seeing you all soon on my next fic!

[bluiex]

Hellooo!! How are you?? 😊😊

Honestly rn I’m going through that issue were you have so many ideas but no actually plot or idea of how to.. write it down? To get it anywhere?? It’s so annoying. I JUST WANT TO WRITE GAY BLOCK MEN BRAIN, PLEASE 😭😭

Before I leave, just want to drop a poly ship here. Grian/Scar/Jimmy/Tango. Why fight? Just fuck each other /j.

(PS. Would you like to see a photo of my cute cats :) I’ve been dying to show photos of them but have no one to show them to. Truly life is painful)

- 🌀 Anon

Hi!! I am good :D been binging Z Nation and playing New World

DUDE ME TOO- i have so much swirling in my head but it just will not transfer onto any google doc i open asfjkgdskl

YES YES YES I need more of them in a polyship- so bad, theyd all be sososo cute and fun together

PLEASE SHOW ME UR CATS ILL SHOW YOU MINE

[chococookiez]

I FUCKING MISSED 4/13 I COMPLETELY FORGOR BUT IM POSTING ANYWAY

i was holding off on posting it until i had more content but i did a fantroll :]

some other art/shitposts i did with it (+ my other ocs)

and here's bonus ooc shitty doodles i did for my dying tiktok account

i haven't properly drawn anyone other than aradia and sollux (and eridan partially but i've only done march eridans for some reason) and the one with all of them was . the first time i drew any of them other than eridan please forgive me

words under the cut. i must ramble

so . homestuck huh

how did i spend my first 4/13 you ask? got up at 5am to fuck around with my (slightly drunk) friend on vrc until we got tired, had various revelations, a whole crisis that i do not wish to unpack... im forgetting something

oh yea

dumb of ass moment: i played that one fucking solkat vn literally just for the hell of it

I haven't read the comic yet BECAUSE im planning to binge read the entire fucking thing over the summer with my friends and i am fucking HYPED i have the unofficial collection downloaded on my pc already in preparation and we're planning on doing a massive party once we're done we are going to have a fucking ball with this . technically i've only been properly interested in homestuck since february which i find really funny cause my brain made the switch so fast it gave me fucking whiplash. i've literally never had an interest hit me THIS HARD in my life especially with how little canon content i have to work with currently since im saving it all for the summer (the restraint is so hard y'all have no idea)

highlights of shit i've done to do with homestuck other than art so far:

made 2 extended zodiac pins out of pre-existing pins i had, one for myself and one for my irl friend

said irl friend had to suffer through a 2+ hour long infodump where i just showed them all the main characters i had knowledge about (beta/alpha kids/trolls, ancestors and cherubs), did a hussie and had The Quadrant Ramble™, shittily explained classes and aspects and tried my best to explain The Weird Time Bullshit™ (it was very fun for me . he also said it was fun but i have my doubts)

speaking of quadrants i've made 4 quadrant keychains (erisol spade, cronkri heart, meowrails + kurtuna diamonds) (currently only displaying 3 of them since the meowrails one fucking SELF DESTRUCTED as in the paint fucking peeled itself off and ive been too lazy to remake it rn) and i've been slightly tempted to add a solkat one but i have no clue what quad i'd put them in tbh and that's the only thing stopping me (oh and a meuloz heart . just because)

very very vaguely hinted at this once before but i made a shitty character playlist. not linking it or saying who it is. y'all can just guess

i made... an eridan osu skin. out of one i had already that i liked. and i've been tempted to make a sollux one. did you know im mentally ill (something did spark this: i had a map of eridan's theme that had a skin on it, so decided to make a full one out of it to fuck with my friend who likes him)

im planning on cosplaying A Troll but have no sodding clue which one. my internal options rn are kanaya, vantases (have their outfits/something like them on hand already, plus vantases have easy horns), leijons (associate myself with them a lot (one of my favourite vrc avatars to use rn is a meulin edit even), especially considering im a leo myself), eridan, aradia and feferi (they'd be hilariously fitting for reasons i wish to not explain, especially eridan)

am probably gonna land myself with a pile of homestuck merch, either from birthday gifts or my own stupidity

so yea, just a few words. i couldn't fight the homestuck

[krunchylegs]

kms just binged on cheesecake 😭😭 it was just supposed to be a quick chew and spit and thats what happened, like i only wasted one slice so i didnt feel bad but then i just looked at the quarter of cheesecake left and since no one was really eating it i was all like, "well maybe if i cut off a little bit and eat that then it wont matter" and then i basically ate it all 💔

it was like the only thing in the house that made me want to impulsively eat so at least its gone but i feel so guilty bc i feel like ive eaten someone elses food and on top of that i already chew and spat so much bc i chew and spat quarter of it when it was first opened and then today with the one slice, and now ive actually eaten a quarter, like bro i really couldnt have been content with the cheesecake that ive already wasted?????? anyway 😔 i have my meals set out for the next 3 days and im not going to eat outside of them so yeah, im not doing that out of response to the cheesecake but i am going to increase my steps which atm is 12k a day but bc of the cheesecake idek how many steps i want to increase bc of it but ill span it out over the 3 days ive meal planned.. i feel sick rn tho and for the last 2 days ive been bloated so hopefully after my planned meal days ill feel better

my plan for the next 3 days:

Day 1:

breakfast:

Apple + coffee

Lunch:

2 eggs + tomato

Dinner:

Protein bar + green tea

Day 2:

breakfast:

banana + coffee

lunch:

chicken + tomato

Dinner:

Protein bar + green tea

Day 3:

breakfast:

Soya yogurt + coffee

Lunch:

2 eggs + tomato

Dinner:

Protein bar + green tea

P.s. tbh im doing this bc im not feeling like tracking cals every single day so im giving myself a break from that while knowing im still in a deficit, also i got inspired by a youtube video diet thing, not the biggest fan of fad diets but i think doing this will give me more inspiration when it comes to making low cal meals. ALSO LOOK AT ME FIGURING OUT HOW TO CHANGE THE COLOURS OF THE TEXT?!?!?! still figuring tumblr out 😭❤

[tehb3stsk4t3revr]

Howdy. Exactly what it says on the blog title, I am not gonna subject my mutuals to me posting roblox boys I am way too weak to own this interest publicly

Me:

Call me Kelly! He/Him. (Yeah bet you were probably expecting Kasper huh?)

I am an adult (under 30). This blog is rated T for Teens, I don't post NSFW (can't imagine where I'd find it anyway...) ✌️

I am at peace with sharing a fandom space with kids but if you're a minor uncomfortable with me commenting on your Regretevator art/posts, no prob! Boundaries are good, block if you gotta block!

This blog will mostly be Infected related, with some Lampert, Wallter, and Pest stuff mostly. Depends on what I find that I like?

This will be like 95% reblogs by volume but I do draw and post. Text posts and talking to other users tag is #Dead Guy Chatter, Art Tag is #Haha. I did that

Hi Kelly, Why Did You Reblog 30 Posts From Me Then Fuck Off Into The Sunset?:

I go post by post in the character tags when I'm bored at work, sorry lol

I guarantee that when I'm doing that I'm gonna forget that I already reblogged something and reblog it again like a week later. Take it as a compliment, I guess??? Your art is beautiful thank you for posting it

If I recognize something (or think I recognize it anyway...) that's a #D3j4 Vu r3bl0g. I just felt like reblogging again!

You might've also liked something from me so I backread through your blog until I ran out of attention span :D

You're on my DNI tho???:

It wasn't on purpose. I often forget to look at pinned posts before reblogging, especially if I got to your post from someone else's blog or a character tag. Again, block if it makes you feel better.

Blog Contents & Tagging:

Haiii, I'm A Shipper! ~(￣▽￣)~

I'm tagging Skaterlight with #Mah br41nr0t (I love my brainrot, it's a compliment!)

Partyskater is #P4rteh h4rd!

#The Unpleasant Ship Ever is for whatever the hell it is Jeremy and Unpleasant have going on, it makes me laugh.

Will add more ship specific tags to filter/binge if I need 'em but I don't rn.

I will not tag interactions between characters that seem like they're a non-romantic context. IDC if I or OP ships it. Infected and Lampert standing in the same room is not skaterlight unless they're calling each other pet names or makin' out or something. Exceptions being when I'm tagging my own art for reach.

There's no specific tag for Infected/Lampert vs Kasper/Lampert here; everything is just 'Skaterlight br41nr0t' to me. Happy to be corrected if there is actually a distinction I don't know about tho, I Strongly prefer Kasper/Lampert.

I love things that make me sad! (❁´◡`❁)

Injury tag is #0uch. Includes everything from heavy nosebleeds and vomiting to eye injuries, severe real life symptoms of illness, and cat death (o7 Poptart). I rarely reblog this stuff because I don't enjoy seeing characters I like get hurt, but sometimes the suffering feels In Character, idk.

Emotional Damage tag is #P41N and covers everything from relationship angst to implied offscreen death.

No I'm not tagging jokes about Mark and Wallter being divorced, they're hilarious and also canon lol.

Gross, this guy has boundaries! ( ಠ_ಠ )

Please tell me if someone I reblog from has a sketchy reputation. I'm not super involved in fandom drama and don't keep tabs on every controversy, but I want to be able to investigate for myself.

FleshCousins are a species of critter they're not sapient enough to like. Consent. I'm keeping my distance if you ship that or draw anything weird of one, idc if yours is a person, that is like... A parrot made of sewer hamburgers to me. ✌️😐

I am not proship, please leave me the fuck alone if you're into character relationship dynamics involving SA or other mad nasty stuff like that. There doesn't need to be a fight about it, I'll mind my business if you mind yours, kk?

[and-yet-the-daisies-grow]

Tw: weight talk, gender dysphoria, unhealthy weight loss talk, dont read if you struggle with food

I want to lose weight again. The way I am right now makes me extremely dysphoric and pushes me to restrict or fast, and I know I shouldnt. Its not healthy and its not okay. So, Im trying to be responsible about my weight loss, but still pursue it. I am currently slightly overweight, so Im not going to go underweight by any means. I just want to look the way I did before. My thighs are so thick and it makes me feel really, really bad, and my belly and back have rolls. My face is too pudgy and I just feel suffocated by myself.

I know it wont make me look like a man and I know I have to take hormones for that to happen, but I just cant stand being in such a womanly body. Its just so wrong, and its difficult to be around others too, because I just keep thinking about how they see me as a woman. Also, I want it to be a bit easier to bind lol.

So Im trying to be consistent with the amount of calories I consume and eat in a deficit. To be honest, the deficit is too big, but I cant help it right now. I will increase it once I see some changes, which should be in a week or so. Im also doing some workouts which is also making me feel better about my body :) I missed strength training to be honest. I did it for many years but stopped when I quit a sport about 2 years ago. And its nice to start feeling strong again. I want to build faith that my body can change before I up my calorie limit. Otherwise, I know Im going to go back into a binge restrict cycle and I really dont want to do that. I feel so peaceful these days and I dont want to ruin it. I need to feel okay at least for a bit to build my hope back up.

Also, Im finally consuming more proteins :D I started drinking protein shakes and they really do make a huuugee difference in my hunger levels, and I also find that my muscles are less sore than they used to be when I trained without eating enough of them. Stupid of me, I know, but I just felt like I would be a fraud if I couldnt build up muscle “naturally” (the fact that I thought eating enough protein would make it unnatural is fucking hilarious to me rn tbh).

Although, protein shakes are so gross!!! Im getting used to the flavour but jesus fucking christ, it tastes like some weird medicine lmao. I get less of that feeling every day though, so I hope that means I will one day be like “oh goodie a protein shake”. Now Im just like “okay dude, you gotta do it. Its not so bad, just chug it” lmao. At least its not bitter 0_0 Otherwise I would really struggle with it lol.

I have some chronic illnesses and whenever one of them starts to physically disable me, I take a suuuper bitter pill, and even then I have to lowkey force myself to do it, even though I know that I will be in a lot of pain if I dont lol.

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

ill eventually make a proper, pretty intro-post

but hello, hi, i am Kaiden-Shenandoah Knapp

also, yes, Kaiden-Shenandoah is my first name. the hyphen is optional, but you still have to type/say the whole thing. no, you may not call me "Kaiden". yes, i am aware it is a mouthful lol

(probably gonna change my surname is "Knapping" in a few years. i wanna distance myself from some shitty family while making the Indigeneity in my surname more apparent. dont be surprised when that happens. im just putting it off bc i got a lot on my plate rn lol)

(also if you knew me as "Kayleen", hi, hello, i no longer go by that childhood nickname. it is retired, wave goodbye, better to have loved and lost and all that)

this is my messily mindless "welcome to my head" blog, we do things very casually here. im making it my new Main (as of 24 March 2024). my professional/art blog is @kaidenshenandoahknapp

but the real point of this post is: i am not a bot lol

and also, stuff is on a queue (until i do a mass-reblog binge but, typically, i am on queue)

everything in my queue is now 2 post per 24 hours (as of: 20 April 2024)

ive been on tumblr before, but since this is a new Main, im just going through my favorite content-creation blogs i know and mass-queueing loads of the op's projects. (if you are one of those said blogs and find this nth new notes a day from me annoying, please let me know; and i will just spam them all to Post Now so i can get out of your hair asap) i'm also just not good at regularly keeping up with creators' new stuff week-by-week, so instead i generally mass-queue because i assume mass-reblogging is a bit more overwhelming, idk, maybe im just overthinking lol

tags guide: (mostly for me, ngl lol i need reminders of what i tag what when i do my mass-queues)

#me - me posting something

#relatable - "omg that is so me" at someone else's post

#aesthetic - me just really liking the vibes, which sometimes just also happens to be pretty to look at lmao

#canines wolves and werewolves i love - i know what i am about. ill probably have more "niche My Special Interest tags" as i find posts that fit them

#nutty nutcrackers / #the nutcracker - another Special Interest tag. pretty self-explanatory, i like The Nutcracker a lot lmao

#betty boop - you would think this belongs with fandom tags, but no. part of why i am obsessed with her (and have been since i was, like, 14) is because she was the popularization of the very next tag's trend

#infantalization in animation - it's when you apply baby facial proportions to an adult bodied character, it's most often done in female characters. i'll be using this tag outside of animated stuff btw. but yeah, anything that examines that visual design choice i am all 👀 over lmao

#other people's art - any individual person, not counting final version of studio work (like ill tag "Lilo and Stitch"'s exploratory concept art with this, sure, but i wont tag stills of the "Lilo and Stitch" film)

↳ #animal art

↳ #background art

↳ #oc art - is all "my original character in a canon piece" kind of ocs, not the "my original character in my original story" type

↳ there are also specifically listed artists here and there if they have influenced me/my style in the past or recently (such as but not limited to: #rvsa). almost all of them are indies with social media (aka: no Van Gogh, no Hayao Miyazaki. if they have their own fandom, i tag said fandom and not the specific artist, usually. it depends. there are some gray areas)

#brushes - the (digital) brushes people i like use

#art tips

#writing tips - is about actually doing the practice

#on writing - is the philsophy about the practice

#[insert fandom here]

#[insert fandom here] analysis

(here are the tags i chose for some fandoms that had multiple possible tags. this is not all of my fandom tags)

● #studio ghibli, #[insert studio ghibli title here] (i tag both the movie itself and studio. because sometimes i want something from the original movie, so i go into those tags; and i also go to the studio to look at overarching things since the studio has such a strong overall aesthetic/visual brand)

● #[insert disney title] (here, i do tag the specific movies and i dont just use the studio. because im usually looking for specific things this one disney movie has)

● #moomin (as opposed to "moominvalley", "tales of moominvalley", or the like)

● #my hero academia (so many different options for one work)

● #trigun (so many different branching creations from one source lmao im just gonna lump them together)

● #into the spiderverse (i dont use "across the spiderverse" for simplicity's sake, and i don't use the hyphen/space between "spider(-)verse" also for simplicity. its easier for me to be consistent if i just go "nah, its all one word")

● #marvel comics (i do not tag the mcu specifically)

● #dc comics, #batman (i tag both. but i dont tag any other dc comics property. i just know im esp obsessed with the batfam enough that, sure, they should get their own tag)