#I jump on the bed full animal mode but sit so person so its like a cryptid perch-

[viridian-forest-collective]

But like the feeling of being able to be bipedal but also quadrupedal fluidly is what gets it for me-

[fiction-in-my-blood]

Obey Me! Characters x Horny GN!MC HC (NFSW)

This includes all brothers and undateables (Diavolo, Barbatos, Soloman, and Simeon) I think I got a little carried away with Barbatos’ but, hey, its still a good read haha

Warnings: Just straight up Not Safe For Work, a lot of mentions of rough sex, edging in Barbatos’ HC, references to open relationships in Asmo’s and Diavolo’s, Lucifer’s is a lil angsty.

~~~~~~

Lucifer:

More than happy to accomodate you at any time of the day, but you’ll have to hold off when he’s particularly busy at the end of the month when the bills need to be sorted.

(Maybe encourage Mammon to hold off a bit on the big spending so he isn’t too stressed)

And, if he does get overrun with work pushed on him by the student council or Diavolo, tease him but accidentally letting it slip you’ll just have to go to Mamo or Asmo to complain, seeing as he can’t pleasure you right now. 

He’ll definitely be invigorated to recover the pride he drastically lost even by the insinuation you’d go off spouting nonsense like that.

“I promise I’ve been good ~.”

“Their names wouldn’t even be on you mind if you were.”

You’ll be satisfied especially when he’s stressed, pounding all his frustrations into you, his demon strength pushing your head further and further into his pillows. That is if you make it to the bed. 

When he does have the time, however, and you’re particularly needy, he’ll tease you to no end, not touching you until he can’t hold himself back anymore. 

And, being overly sexual doesn’t mean rough all the live long day. 

He likes to take it slow most of the time, not just teasing you, but engraining your body into his mind. 

Because somewhere, deep in the self-sabatarging part of his brain, he remembers you’re mortal and he isn’t. 

He’s going to live longer than you are, he could already be your eldest ancestor, so that thought it always in the back of his head as his face is burrowed in you neck, taking you in every sense of the word. By smell, touch, taste, hearing your moans of his name, watching your face screw up in pleasure and resting next to him after a specifically sensual love making session.

Mammon:

Won’t notice that its sex that you want at first, taking you to shop with him countless time when you’ve said your bored and wanted to have a lil fun~.

When he does realise, however, good god how can you have some much blood at two end of your body? Rock hard and a blushing mess at you on your knees in your room, just home from RAD, pushing him on the bed and almost swallowing him whole right there. 

His face is bright red listening to Satan and Asmo tease him- you had ranted to them countless times that Mamo was completely oblivious and you were worried to spell it out for him. 

But now, he’s just as needy as you, if not more. He is the Avatar of Greed, after all.

Don’t worry though, even if he is clueless when it comes to you, he’s had his fair share of sexual payback deals, so he’s got thousands of years of experience. Witches have used his body like a piece of meat time and time again.

Well, now he’s not just greedy for money. You’ll be lucky to ever sleep in your own bed again.

Might roleplay a prostitute and pimp, stripper and client, secretary and CEO, whatever situation that would possibly allow one of you to hand the other money.

Both of you swap, but Mamo, being greedy, enjoys it more when you top, doing most of the work. Won’t admit that though. 

He relishes in the feeling of your thighs bouncing up and down on his hips, weight draped over his as you kiss him with so much pressure you might just be able to make diamonds. 

Leviathan:

Too busy playing games, watching anime and boasting about his collection to think that you came to his room for any other reason.

Gets the idea when you sit on his lap, though, mid-speech about Henry and the Lord of Shadow’s latest exploits, grinding against him and grinding his words to a halt.

Although momentarily caught off guard, blushing as he stammers out an apology for not noticing sooner, he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into endless amounts of bliss.

The boy has a few tricks from harem games he’s played, lets not play ourselves.

He will ignore you when there’s a new release, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use him however you like. 

Sucking him off from under his desk as he struggles to concentrate on what’s going on onscreen, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as his friends’ voices echo through the headset. 

He will get a little annoyed, you did ruin his 20 Kill/Death ratio, but a sensual plea for his cock to bury deep inside you and he’ll be willing to forgive you. 

That is if you acquire this figurine he’s been looking into buying but can’t afford because Mammon borrowed money from him again. This time without asking.

Satan:

Some say makeup sex is the best kind of sex. Well, how about sprawled over ancient texts, forgetting to lock the libray door sex?

It can be hard to get him to put down the books and stop watching the dramas, especially when a PSA for an animal charity comes on, but, when you do... Honey.

There’s a lot of risk to being needy with Satan.

Sure, he’s happy to make you happy, but if you intend of fucking him out of his private time when he’s particularly engrossed in an book, please don’t push it. Unless you wanna get rammed from behind in the hallway outside the dining hall while he’s in demon form.

Sometimes, even with a pride that could rival Lucifer’s, Satan just can’t get off- which makes him a little pissy. Don’t worry, though, you can make him feel better by putting on a show, playing with yourself until your screaming his name. Then he’s harder than should be physically possible.

If there’s a sex scene on one of his detective shows, he’ll complain about how needless it is to the storyline, he has already realised who the killer is.

But, when he notices you haven’t said a word on the subject and are moving onto his lap, grinding on his thigh, blocking his view of the lewd, but short, scene, he couldn’t be happier about the character’s relationship development. 

He will be rewinding when you’re done, though. You missed about three episodes because of that scene.

Asmodeus:

If he isn’t the Avatar of Lust, you sure as hell might be.

Even before you got together, it was incredibly difficult to resist him. And not just because of his devilish powers.

The horny gremlin could hardly keep it in his pants before you dated, but now. Luv, get ready.

He likes to dress you in whatever sexy outfit there is. Whether its a full blown nurse outfit or the smallest lingerie going, you’re both happy to try anything.

You tried a nun’s outfit one time and, coincidentally, almost got caught by one of the angels. You had been experimenting in the library of Purgatory Hall, so it’s only you’re fault, but it was still a very, very close call.

He’ll never leave you hanging, you’ll definitely have more than five orgasms a round, but he’ll have twice as many.

He might ask if you want to include another person, and you might agree, depending on your openness to sexuality, but he’s not going to make you feel let out. 

You’ll feel like a royal, more important than Diavolo, ravished from all side, just by him. If you did include anyone else, they’d be lucky to even get their hands on you.

There will be times when, just so they could sleep, Lucifer will enforce a ban on how far you can go. You’re a screamer and he’s a moaner, and all the brother have had enough nightmares as it is. 

They’ll go as far as put a chastity belt on him, locking him in his room and sending you to stay with the angels for a couple days so they can have some peace and quiet during the night. 

But, when you come together again, Asmo’s cock still locked away, he’ll go full demon-mode, form and all, fingering and licking you like no other time before.

Jokingly asks if you defiled the angels without him, you joke that you did. You never thought Asmo would be so openly jealous, but that look then was almost as scary as Satan. If it didn’t turn you on so much, it would be.

Beelzebub:

He’s not dumb. 

Watching you jump on the counter, flirtatously crossing one leg over the other as he has his late late night snack, comments about how well he eats.

What that tongue do tho?!

It’s become customary for you two to meet up in the kitchen on his nightly visit, letting him eat all the food he wants before he buries his face in you right there and then.

Never have you been happier to have a gluttonous, demon boyfriend.

He’s just as horny as you are, eager to taste you at any given moment. 

And he’s not secretive about it.

At first, he would just walk up to you as you talked with his brothers or the angels, asking you if you wanted to use this whipped cream you introduced him to from a care package you got from home a month ago.

“It’s just whip cream, Beel. From the can.” You correct him before excitedly agreeing.

Because of this, Asmo’s asked to join in a few too many times for it to be a teasing joke anymore.

Now, after you tell him he might break Mamo if he asked you to ride his face because he was hungry as school again, he’ll whisper in your ear how much he wants you. It’s not much less obvious, but at least everyone doesn’t know the specifics of your sex lives anymore.

Belphegor:

Honey, he may be asleep half the time you are together, but fuck if he doesn’t know how to treat you well. 

He’s surprisingly perceptive so, when you take him to the attic, mentioning how far away it is from all his brothers, meaning it’ll be harder for them to hear the two of you, he does chuckle at your not so indirect way of telling him you want him. 

Don’t get me wrong, he’s going to make you work for it. Although, not in a way similar to Lucifer.

He’ll finger you to the edge, give you oral until you just about to topple over, have you ride him and then rip you off his lap the second he feels that slight tightening around his cock, thoroughly enjoy that broken, teary-eyed expression everytime you cry his name in annoyance. 

But, if you can muster enough strength, and he hasn’t fucked it all out of you yet, you could wrap your legs around his waist, making him make you cum when you’ve reached your limit.

You’ll be severely punished, covered in delicious brusies, but it’ll all be worth it.

Diavolo:

At first, he jokes about your obvious, desperate advances. 

Like, seriously, how can a human have so much energy?

He finds it cute when you pout because he’s busy.

When he has to make diplomatic trips, his D.D.D is ringing every other hour.

“MC, I love you. With all my heart. But I don’t think God will appreciate me listening to you cum in our meetings.”

Not to mention the amount of times Lucifer and Barbatos have walked in on you going at it on the throne (which is your favourite place to do it, as of late).

You honestly couldn’t care less. Demons are allowed to be horny sex fiends, why can’t you?

Diavolo never thought he could meet his match, but you, this human that stole his heart, might just have worn him out. 

However, what gets him every single time? You whispering in his ear as he’s discussing important matters of Devildom with Lucifer, his smirk making the eldest brother blush because he knows, and can probably hear, the plans you’re nibbling into Diavolo’s ear. 

All the positions, all the memories you wanted to recreate, all the sweet cries of pleasure.

You might as well be humping his leg.

“Oh, and Luci, did you want to join?”

Barbatos:

Doesn’t react much in public. 

Or at all, really.

He does represent Diavolo in everything he does, so it’s not like he can go around with hickies covering his visible skin.

You do try to rein it in for him, you respect his dedicaion for the future king of Devildom, he shows you a fraction of that same dedication and you’re on cloud nine, but it does get in the way sometimes.

For example, you could be in the middle of getting dicked down, the first time all week and it was WEDNESDAY, and Barbatos stands up straight, pulling right out of you, leaving to attend to whatever need Diavolo might have without another thought to you.

This had happened a few times now and you were tired of being blue-balled.

You had to go to the source.

“Diavolo!” 

Eyes practically alight with rage, you stormed right into Lucifer’s office, where you knew the two would be. 

Mammon had seen you in all your radiant, disheveled desire turned furious and you demanded he tell you exactly where the prince was, even if he didn’t know in that minute. 

This fiasco was ending. 

Today.

Lucifer was angry with your casual referral to such a high-standing demon, but Diavolo brushed it off because you were you. You were the human he found so endearing, wanted to learn more about. And you were Barbatos’ partner.

“Stop calling Barbatos at night! Better yet, give him the weekend. I can’t do it anymore! I’m going crazy here with all this edging! I haven’t cum in a month!!!” 

The words slipped from your lips without you caring, Lucifer’s frown lifting into a smirk as he smelt and sensed the need for sex all over you. Diavolo laughed at how utterly needy you were, nodding when he noticed you glaring.

“I swear, on all of Devildom, Barbatos is all yours when the sun sets.”

That night, you pulled out all the stops.

Candles, blankets, boxes upon boxes of condoms, lube, his favourite food, and your sexiest lingerie. There was no way you weren’t getting laid tonight. You were going to make it that you couldn’t walk tomorrow, no. matter. what.

Barbatos enjoyed his dinner with you, which was unusually tame compared to how you normally were. You were still a little angry about last night, when you were a thrust away from finishing when, apparently, Diavolo needed help and Barbatos lifted you off him and redid his pant buttons like nothing had happened.

However, after all the delectable food, the show really began.

A strip tease. A blowjob. He even finished you off once with his fingers, but it wasn’t enough. You had been so close too many times. You were cumming on that dick if it was the last thing you ever did in Devildom.

“Oh, I think Dia-.”

“Don’t you fucking dare say that name.” 

You gritted your teeth, clamping your hand over his mouth to shush any attempt to leave you hanging here. Literally. 

He was standing, holding you up by the thighs as you bounced on his cock, sweat coating both of you and breathing mixing as you tried to kiss but couldn’t manage the absence of oxygen for less than a second.

A muffled sound of confusion came from him as his grip on your ass loosened, but you wrapped your legs tighter around him so there was no way he could escape.

“I need to cum with you, Barbatos. I can’t take it anymore. I need you.”

Your voice croaked, tears of desperation filling your eyes, and that was all it took to send him into hyperdrive. 

You were pushed against the walls with a heavy thud, hitting your head at the force, and it would have hurt it you weren’t suffering from such mind-blowing pleasure.

It’s safe to say, you were never going to be edged like that ever again.

Solomon:

It doesn’t take magic to see the hints you’re throwing at him.

Bending over in the halloween costume you ordered off of Akuzon, making sure it was way too small before you hit checkout. You got a Pigwart’s uniform, saying that you must have accidentally bought the kids version, but there is no way in Devildom a skimpy cropped shirt and the shortest, most curve-hugging shorts would be a kids costume.

You don’t make it to that year’s RAD Halloween party, but Soloman promises to bring you back to Devildom for next year’s.

That is if you can make it in the sexy witch costume you were already planning.

Your relationship had first developed when he gave you tips on how to survive as a human in a world of angels and demons, but now he’s giving you tips on how to give him head better.

Not that you need it, he just likes to order you around.

Simeon:

He knows, but he doesn’t act on your overly sexual nature.

It breaks him to watch you beg, so the second you’re making advances, he swallows his embarrassment to pleasure you, reminding himself to pray extra, extra hard that same night.

You’re the one to initiate most of your encounters, running your hands up his arms, poking your fingers under his shirt through the shoulder cuts.

There’s this one song you’ve been listening to lately. A very sexy song. One recommended to you by Asmodeus. You can’t help dancing around whenever its on, feeling yourself like you are that bitch. 

One time you get out of the shower, think fuck it, drop your towel and start the routine you’ve basically got planned out by now. Rolling around on the floor, sticking your ass up, flipping your hair and shaking your thighs so you butt jiggles. 

You were so wrapped up in yourself you don’t notice Simeon sitting at the small desk you usually use for school work, mouth open agape as you give him to most sinful show he’s every seen. 

He had come to help you study, but...

Since when have humans been able to move so elegantly?

He thought you looked like an angel, but the way your sex is reveal to him as you part your legs at one point, there is no God that could approve of what thoughts were running through his head. 

Even though you had fun, you were panting by the end of it, laying on your fluffly carpet and snuggling your face against the comfort as you laugh at yourself. 

That is until you feel the pressure over you as your wrists are pinned above your head. 

“I’m going to hell for this.”

“Love, you’re already here.”

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

[wonderlustlucas]

mistletoe? oh no! - im jaebeom

⇢ prompt Why do we kiss under a mistletoe when it’s a parasitic plant that steals nutrients from its host tree? ⇢ pairing jaebeom x female reader ⇢ word count 6.9k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. alcohol. suggestive make out at the end :D ⇢ summary Six months ago, you drunkenly kissed Im Jaebeom on a beach trip with your friends. Afterward, the awkward tension kept the two of you from ever having the ‘What are we?’ talk and eventually, too much time had passed for anything to ever happen. Luckily, Pollyanna and a stupidly placed mistletoe have brought your feelings to the boiling point.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n happy new year’s my loves! as one last hurrah for 2019 & as part of @kwritersworld‘s holiday writing event, here is yet another idiots to lovers, christmas/nye au! here’s to a lovely new year, & new decade. i hope you all have a blessed, joyous, & prosperous year. i love you! ♥︎

You once thought that you were an introvert.

You know— someone deemed shy, with a preference to keep to themselves rather than going out of their way to interact with others. Introvert. Opposite of extrovert.

It wasn’t until you were a senior in high school did you learn new definitions for these personality categories. An introvert—according to your philosophy teacher and a TED Talk speaker shown on the projector during class—is someone who, simply put, thinks of how they feel before speaking. Extroverts, on the other hand, only identify their true feelings on a topic after they have begun discussing it.

The lesson stuck with you. Albeit your perpetual reservation from others, you were always one to argue. Smart, excellent report card over the years— but found yourself blurting your opinion out at the first chance before fully thinking it through. Now, you concluded, I suppose I’m an extrovert if that truly is what it means. This knowledge, for some strange reason, gave you a token for change. If I’m an extrovert, you thought, I must start acting one.

Now, having just been accepted into law school, you think you have hit the nail on the head when it comes to meeting both definitions of an extrovert. Park Jinyoung, on the other hand, has his doubts.

“Are you sure you want to do this? Have you really thought about what this is gonna do to your life?�� Despite the genuine concern laced in his tone, Jinyoung’s words make you wince. How he manages to suck the life out of a celebratory night out for drinks truly is beyond you.

“Yes, Jinyoung,” you groan, taking a desperate sip of your coquito like it’s really going to help against his insufferableness, “I’ve only been working for this for a few years, let me change my mind now.”

“You didn’t answer the question,” he counters, leaning in close enough for you to taste his Jo Malone fragrance on your tongue. You raise a skeptical brow at him. “Have you thought about what becoming a lawyer is going to make of your life?” His words are clipped and emphasized like he is speaking to a child, trying desperately to get his point across.

“I appreciate you looking out for me and my future, Jinyoung,” you sigh, reclining back in your bar stool because sitting that close to Jinyoung for that long makes your head dizzy, “but I promise you, I have thought about this. I know I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, but it’s what I want to do. I promise.”

Jinyoung huffs, defeated, before tipping his wine glass back and chugging what is left like some sort of animal. Very not Jinyoung-like. “Well, then I guess there’s no reason to not celebrate with you,” he grins. Then, not even a beat later, “When are you gonna make time to marry Jaebeom and have a bunch of sexy little babies?”

“Aw, for crying out loud!” You howl, slapping a hand to your forehead before turning to him with a pointed glare and a pointed finger. “Okay, first of all, the fact that you used sexy and babies in the same sentence concerns me. And second, stop saying me and Jaebeom are going to get married! He doesn’t even look at me, how do you equate marriage out of that?”

“You mean, you don’t look at him. You guys had a great time when we went to the beach not even six months ago, saw each other half naked, shared a drunken kiss before bed, and then dropped all communication! What the hell is up with that?” Jinyoung has a habit of lecturing you like it’s his full-time job and it drives you absolutely insane because he’s always right.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” you mumble, bringing your glass to your lips and taking a lengthy sip just to buy some time. “Come on, ___. My boy is out here drowning in unrequited love while you’re just all ‘Teehee! I’m a lawyer! Don’t talk to me when I’m doing lawyer tings!’ Cut the bullshit and let him take you on a date and blow your back out for Christ’s sake!”

You are physically unable to suppress your laughter, hand flying to cover your mouth and head thrown back at his comical outburst. He’s lucky you love him or else he would seriously regret that outrageously inaccurate imitation of your voice. He’s lucky you are tipsy enough to lose yourself in laughter and he’s especially lucky that he is correct, once again.

“Jinyoung,” you wheeze, letting out one more breathless giggle before flipping on the serious mode switch, “I would love to not only go out on a date with Jaebeom, but to date him. But things got awkward and so much time as passed that suddenly starting things up again would be weird. Don’t you think?”

“No!” Jinyoung yells. Half the people at the bar jump at the noise and turn to glare. You do just the same before shooting an older gentleman beside Jinyoung an apologetic look. “I just don’t think you’re drinking enough.”

“Yes,” then, a pause to ask the bartender for the check now that Jinyoung’s lectures are starting to put a downer on you, “that’s exactly it. I’m afraid to get drunk off my ass when Jaebeom’s around because I’ll do something stupid and either scare him off or bring him home and both are terrible options!”

“You’re no fun,” Jinyoung scoffs, “my two best friends, both pining after one another, but pulling the sixteen-year-old card and not talking to each other. Great! Just great.”

You laugh, hopping down from your seat and patting his knee once you have slipped on your coat. “Buy a mistletoe for the Christmas party and maybe something can be arranged.”

Jinyoung doesn’t find it funny.

For the past six years, it has been tradition for you and your friends to have a belated Christmas slash New Year’s party where Pollyanna gifts are exchanged and an excessive amount of alcohol is consumed because, well, your friends are fun. For the past three, however, you have been holding said party at Youngjae’s house, because he is the only one who has a house and houses are infinitely better for parties than apartments. Plus, Youngjae is a gracious man who welcomes the company year after year. Can’t understand why he wants nine psychopaths in his lovely little abode, but that’s not your problem.

What is your problem is the fact that there actually is a mistletoe hanging from the ceiling fan in the kitchen. You’re going to kill Jinyoung.

You once thought Choi Youngjae was the coolest person to bless the planet. Now, you’re not so sure.

It’s the first thing your eye goes to upon entering Youngjae’s outrageously beautiful row home. Usually, you need a solid ten minutes to accept the fact that you will never become a model and have as many zeroes at the end of your savings as Youngjae, spending way too much time swooning over his grey vinyl wood floors and brick fireplace and white marble countertops. This time, however, while Jinyoung and Yugyeom do the whole bro hug greeting after wiping the snow from their shoes, you stand pressed up awkwardly against the front door, crockpot of buffalo chicken dip in hand, glaring at the stupid thing from two rooms over. Before you can turn an accusing finger to Jinyoung, Youngjae has turned to welcome you.

“You made it!” He cheers, flashing that thousand-watt smile of his and easing some of the tension that has begun to build up in your nerves like plaque. “Somehow, someway,” you return, relaxing into his embrace when he curves around the precious chicken dip to offer a half hug. “You need a drink,” Youngjae decides after having evaluated the lack of excitement in your response. Following after Jinyoung and Yugyeom, he leads you into the kitchen with a lively bounce to his step. “Bambam just finished making hot toddies, or you could be the first to take from our jell-o shot Christmas tree.”

He gestures to said “tree” on his dining table, a neatly stacked pile of green, red, and blue jell-o shots and you feel awfully terrible at having to ruin its perfected assembly. “It’s beautiful,” you muse, setting the crockpot on the counter and plugging its cord into an outlet, “it would be my honor to have the first one.”

“___!” Hollers Jackson as he slides open the door from the back patio and enters the kitchen, Maggie filing in after him. He must have joined her for a smoke outside. He proceeds to do a little dance shimmy as he makes his way over to you. “Jackson, my love,” you grin, squeezing him into a tight hug after he slaps a messy kiss to your cheek. “How are you, Miss I-Got-Accepted-Into-Law-School?”

That is going to be the topic of discussion for the night, it seems, and the heat of an embarrassed blush works its way up your neck at the realization. “I’m good. Really good, actually,” you say, directing your attention to Maggie who slips around Jackson to tuck into your side, “definitely not as stressed as I was. The holidays are a nice break from everything.”

“We’re all so proud of you,” Maggie hums, leaning her head on your shoulder.

“Seriously, congratulations, again. You deserve it,” Jackson praises, reaching to squeeze your cheek. You swat his hand away in fear he will mess up the foundation you spent way too much time applying.

“Thank you, guys. I’m glad someone is happy for me,” you grumble, directing a cold glare to Jinyoung who, somehow, has already managed to fire Yugyeom up.

“What?” Bambam interjects, jumping into the conversation now that he has made his way into the room. “Didn’t you guys go out when you got accepted?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, smiling to the very expensive looking boy, “but he’s more worried than excited. Thinks I’m not considering how becoming a lawyer is going to affect my future, the stress of it, having a family, but…”

Maggie scoffs. “God, he sounds like your dad.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Ugh! Everyone, shoo! Why are we all in the kitchen? Go sit in the living room,” Youngjae hisses, grabbing Bambam by the shoulders and shoving him out of the room. Bambam makes a sound of protest, gesturing dramatically to all the food and the pot of hot toddy still on the stove.

“You can come back when there isn’t an entire crowd in here,” Youngjae counters, slapping a handful of jell-o shots into his hands, “I made Yugyeom promise to not eat all of ___’s dip, you don’t need to worry.” Bambam grumbles in response, stumbling after the others and you follow suit with a laugh.

Pausing just before the living room, Bambam stops to pass everyone a shot. “Here’s to Christmas and getting Jaebeom and ___ to kiss under the mistletoe.”

“Stop!” You whine, just as the rest ‘clink’ their cups and shout, “Cheers!” Nevertheless, down the hatch the jell-o goes and you glare at them all once they are done.

“Oh, speak of the Devil,” Yugyeom snickers just as you have ran ahead to crash down on the sofa, stretching your legs out across the chaise. Rolling over off your stomach, you turn to watch Mark, Jaebeom, and Shelby arrive, one too many gift bags and bottles of wine in hand. “Oh,” Maggie whispers from beside you, elbow nudging into your side, “look at your man.”

Funny thing is, you already are. To give you the benefit of the doubt— you were already watching the trio stumble into the room anyway, but it just so happened you stopped at Jaebeom. Before things between you got complicated, when you were just friends, he always had a way of stealing the oxygen from your lungs. Now is no different.

Dressed in black slacks, a white tee tucked in and a baby blue blazer to top it all off, Jaebeom looks nothing short of marvelous. He’s been growing his hair out, too, the black waves curling down to brush his cheekbones, screaming to be combed through with your fingers. And oh Christ, you can’t even begin to talk about the nose piercing. In the midst of your swooning, Jaebeom looks up after having deemed his sneakers clean enough to walk through Youngjae’s home, scanning the room before conveniently landing on you. The blush on both of your faces is instantaneous, hardly a second of maintaining eye contact before the embarrassment burns too hot and you turn away. Still, you can’t fight your smile.

Neither can he.

“Now the party’s started!” Mark hoots, swinging two bottles in the air like he’s asking for disaster. “Hurry and put everything down so we can play something,” Yugyeom whines from his seat across the room, pushing Jaebeom’s butt to move faster. “Patience is a virtue, Yugyeom,” Jinyoung comments, throwing a Hershey Kiss wrapper at him.

“Absolute children,” Maggie mutters. You hum in agreement.

“Do you wanna play the alphabet game?” Bambam proposes, earning a groan from Jackson. He hates the game, despite how often you all play it, claiming it takes too much brain power for a party.

“Yes! I’m down,” Shelby shouts anyway, having returned in time to hear Bambam’s question. To Jackson’s misery, you all agree as well.

“Youngjae!” Bambam shouts, waiting for him to yell back. “Grab the peppermint vodka when you come in! We’re playing the alphabet game!”

The way you all play most likely has deviated from the original rules of the game, but it works and it’s fun. Sitting in a circle, you go through the alphabet, naming something in a certain category that begins with whatever letter you’re on. For example, if you were doing fruits and were on the letter W, you could say watermelon. But, the person to your right is counting to ten, and once that time is up, you have to take a shot and the letter moves on to the next person until someone gets a word. Sounds easy, until you’re three shots in and not even halfway through the alphabet.

With Shelby collapsing down between Yugyeom and Jackson on the love seat, Youngjae on the armchair by the fireplace, and Mark on the bean bag brought down from upstairs, you realize with a rising sense of panic that the only possible seating for Jaebeom is by—

“Hey,” he says, tapping your outstretched legs, “can I sit here? You can keep your legs stretched. I don’t mind.”

“Oh, sure, sure!” You squeak, jerking to sit up and to pull your legs to your chest. However, just as he sits, he grabs your ankles to tug them back. Hesitantly, and with an appreciative smile sent his way, you hesitantly lay your legs over his lap, his arms comfortably rested over them. Oh, fuck.

Swallowing hard and trying to ignore the way your heart flutters in her chest, you turn back to your friends where the game is just starting.

“Okay, I’ll start since I’m in the middle,” Mark announces, readjusting himself in the bean bag to sit closer to the coffee table, “Yugyeom, you count. Actually, you don’t need to, I already have my word. A, as in artificial tree.”

“One word, idiot,” Youngjae scoffs, smacking the back of Mark’s head, “take a shot. Yugyeom, you go.”

The younger boy pales, panicking when Mark does as he is told. Then, he blurts, “A as in angel!”

“B as in bells!” Shelby shouts.

“C as in… Christmas,” Jackson says with a wink.

“D as in December,” Jinyoung hums nonchalantly.

“E as in eggnog!” Bambam cheers.

“F as in…” Maggie pales, trailing off. In your head, you start to count, while simultaneously trying to think of a holiday word that starts with F. “Festive!” She shouts suddenly. “Oh, shit, um… G as in… gingerbread?” You huff, relieved.

“H as in holiday,” Jaebeom says with a soft smile. All eyes are on Youngjae as he stares hopelessly at the ceiling. “I, as in…”

In your head, you count alongside Mark. “What the fuck starts with I?” Youngjae hisses, slapping his knees anxiously. The silence is deafening until Mark shouts with a sadistic grin, “TEN!” Youngjae hangs his head low before reaching for the bottle. Ironic, because Mark can’t think of a word, and neither can Yugyeom, Shelby, or Jackson. Jinyoung grins at their expense until it’s his turn. “Icicle,” he says without a beat.

“That’s not Christmas-y!” Yugyeom whines, hands thrown up dramatically. “Can you think of anything better, stupid?” Jinyoung fires back, evidently shutting him up. Poor Yugyeom, he can never win.

“J as in Jesus,” Bambam says with a laugh.

“K? Bruh, you gotta be joking,” Maggie sighs, throwing her head back against the sofa, trying to concentrate. “Ten,” you sigh sadly even though you counted to fifteen, patting her knee and Youngjae passes her the bottle. “Um, K as in…” Christ, you can’t think of anything either. Kris Kringle? No, two words, fuck.

“Ten!” Jaebeom chuckles, squeezing your calf and you quickly take a swig with a wince. The round goes all the way to Shelby, who happily yells, “Kings!”

The game drags on, keeping you all at the edge of your seats by the time U and V come around. When it comes to W, everyone has had one too many shots to be able to think quickly enough to come up with wreath. Except for Jinyoung, of course. You give up on Z, deciding there is no such word and you all let out a relieved breath at the game’s conclusion. “Does this mean we can eat now?” Jackson mumbles, far too gone for a party that has only started hardly an hour ago.

“Yes! I’m ravenous,” Bambam groans, helping his friend stand. Together, they’re the first to make way into the kitchen and you’re surprised Youngjae doesn’t chase after them to make sure they don’t knock anything over.

“Well,” Jaebeom yawns and you are suddenly mortified to realize that your legs are still casually stretched out over his lap. “That was fun.” Swinging your legs away and moving to sit up, you nod in agreement. “Very fun. Love watching you and Jinyoung outsmart us every time.”

“Hey,” he frowns, elbowing your arm now that you’re sitting upright beside him, “nobody could think of tree for T, but you did, so shush.” You turn to give him an unamused look. “That’s because Jinyoung was overthinking, and Maggie and Bam drank too much,” you laugh, standing with a stretch. Jaebeom raises an eyebrow. “What?” You ask, unsure of what that look means.

“Why does your snowman have a cape? Oh—” he starts, lifting the fabric attached to the winking snowman on your ugly sweater to find a carrot penis below the three buttons. Jaebeom breaks out into laughter, face scrunched up and head thrown back and it consequently makes you laugh, too. Well, if there was any person that was going to ask first, you’re glad it was him. “Was not expecting that,” he chuckles, wiping the tears that have accumulated at his eyes before rising to stand and oh, suddenly you feel so small with him standing so close to you like that. God, he’s beautiful, you admire. Without thinking, you brush away a tuft of hair that has fallen over his eye, just to see your favorite pair of moles. It isn’t until rosiness blooms across his cheekbones do you realize what you just did.

“Sorry,” you rush breathlessly, taking a step back and turning to make sure nobody saw that. Luckily, only Shelby and Yugyeom remain, too busy cozying up to one another to notice. “___!” Maggie shouts from the kitchen like some godsent angel whose purpose is to save you from awkward moments. “You have to come see this!”

You shoot Jaebeom an awkward smile before swinging around him and making a beeline for the kitchen. Idiot, you scold yourself before taking a deep breath and bringing a smile to your face. “What?” You hum, leaning your head on Maggie’s shoulder. All it is is a SnapChat story of someone you went to university with, a picture of an engagement ring, but you are beyond grateful she called you in. After she stops to take a selfie with you, you navigate around your friends to start a pile of food on your plate, everything from dim sum (thanks, Jackson), grilled pork belly, kimbap, bulgogi sandwiches, spaghetti (thanks, Jackson, part two), and, of course, tortilla chips with your buffalo chicken dip. Big plate for big brain.

Despite the crowdedness, thankfully you are able to avoid standing anywhere close to the mistletoe once Jaebeom enters the room only a few moments later. Finally making your way to the dining table, you let out a sigh of relief now that you don’t have to worry about anything looming above. Of course, your friends have a different idea.

“___,” Maggie purrs just as you have set your plate down, gazing at you expectantly and fluttering her lashes.

“What do you want?”

“Could you get a water for me? There’s bottles in the fridge. Pleeeaaase?” She sings. You wave her off, having already turned around. Can’t be mad at her, honestly; you forgot to grab something for yourself to drink, anyway. Pulling two bottles off the shelves and nudging the refrigerator door closed, you’re just trying to grab a potato chip from the bowl on the counter when Mark rounds the corner and trips over his own feet, coincidentally falling towards you but when you step back to avoid the red wine sloshing in his glass, Jinyoung has suddenly appeared behind you and you stumble over his foot.

It’s a good plan, you think, expecting Jaebeom to catch you like some fucking knight of shining armor and steady you just below the mistletoe, but unfortunately for them, you’re quick to reach for the counter and Jaebeom has literally just turned around in his search for silverware. Regaining your balance against the cabinets, you do not miss the group’s combined groan of disappointment and can’t help but triumphantly grin. “You okay, Mark?” You ask, spinning around and suppressing a laugh at the ‘please don’t kill me’ look in the older boy’s eyes. “Yep,” he coughs, stepping to the side as you brush past.

Dinner is tense, to say the least. Maybe it’s just you. You’re annoyed, beyond so, at your friends’ lack of maturity. Relatively speaking, yes, they are trying to help push you and Jaebeom in the right direction, but their ways of operation lack any beneficial qualities. This is your problem, and you have to deal with it yourself.

You stay quiet, for the most part, occupying your thoughts simply on eating and the approaching excitement of Pollyanna. When you all picked out of a hat a little over a month ago, you initially panicked at Bambam’s name looking back at you on the folded piece of paper. As it turned out, buying gifts for him ended up working out; first, you found matching sweaters for him and his cats, then a travel set for his Bleu de Chanel cologne, a mermaid blanket he had found an Instagram ad for and wouldn’t shut up about, and finally a gift card to his favorite Thai restaurant. What’s more exciting is finding out who has your gifts. Plus, everyone did incredibly well keeping quiet this year, managing to make it all the way without slipping who had who.

Unfortunately, your irritable emotions aren’t done for the night. After finishing your much needed, sobering meal, your goblin friends are prepared to have you and Jaebeom beneath that mistletoe if it’s the last thing they will ever do. Trying to clean up before everyone really gets trashed is an absolute nightmare, everyone taking part in the scheme of leaving just the two of you in the room, nudging him your way, asking you to help Jaebeom do this, help Jaebeom do that. It only gets worse once he realizes what they’re trying to do, curving around you like you have the plague and each time you make eye contact, you contemplate fleeing to the bathroom just to scream.

After what feels like ages spent in the stifling kitchen, you migrate back to the living room to finally, finally open gifts. Good riddance, mistletoe. At everyone’s look of general disappointment, you let out your umpteenth relieved sigh of the night and collapse back into your precious spot at the sofa. You know you’re getting old when you have only been out for two and a half hours and you’re already exhausted.

To make matters worse—or better, you can’t really tell at this point—Jaebeom also sits back down beside you. You can tell he’s anxious; he’s gone back and forth between picking at his nails and a scab on his jaw for a while now and you almost want to say something until you remember how deliberately he dodged you in the kitchen. Maybe, just maybe, a part of you had hoped he would have taken the opportunity and kissed you himself. Why would things ever be so simple?

“Alrighty, friends,” settling into his chair, Youngjae beams. “Let’s get this party started. We’ll go in the same circle as before.”

In turn, Mark flashes that boyish smile of his and leans across the table to pass a bag and small box to Jinyoung. “Ooh,” the younger boy hums excitedly, “thanks, Mark.” Next, Yugyeom hands Jackson a bag, Shelby slides a big box to Youngjae, and, breaking into a fit of laughter, Jackson ends up giving a bag right back to Yugyeom. Jinyoung passes Maggie her gift, and when Bambam rises to hand Jaebeom a hefty bag, you can’t help but miss the way he glances sadly to you before smiling gratefully at his friend and engulfing him into a hug. Suddenly, it dawns on you that there are only three other people left, and watch with an impending sense of dread as Maggie walks across the room to give Shelby her gift. Two left.

Grinning excitedly, you lean over to pass Bambam his gift bag, earning a smile in return bright enough to put the Sun out of business. Now, the moment you all have been waiting for.

Sucking in a deep breath, you turn to Jaebeom, sending all prayers to God that he will rise to hand Mark the bag in his hands.

The universe laughs.

“Ugh,” Jaebeom groans, grinning like a Cheshire cat, “you’re so far.” He places the gift bag, which, is surprisingly heavier than expected, on your lap. “Thanks, Jae,” you manage, smiling fondly at him. Behind him, Youngjae drops a box by Mark’s feet, but by now everything around you has faded into the background, leaving only you and Jaebeom floating in the midst of it all. Even though he has turned away, you can’t stop staring at him. Why’d it have to be him? What are the chances? God, something tells you you’re going to fall in love by the time the night is over.

It isn’t until the tearing of wrapping paper registers in your mind do you snap out of it, coming back to reality and quickly redirecting your attention to opening your gift.

There’s a lot to unfold here, you think with a racing heart, removing the tissue paper and finding three separate items inside. You go for the small box first. It’s a jewelry box, no doubt, but this doesn’t keep the butterflies in your stomach at bay once you lift the beige lid to reveal a rose gold bracelet, diamonds in the pattern of a constellation. There’s a small card attached to the lid, too, and flipping that over you read that it is the constellation for your zodiac sign. “Jae,” you whimper, lips curling into a pout and he laughs at your touched expression. “This is beautiful.”

“Shh! Open everything first,” he hushes, waving you off and returning to his own gift.

Sucking in a deep breath, you do as you’re told and reach for the much larger box. Tearing open the wrapping paper and lifting the lid, you find a glass dome atop a wooden base, and inside is a beautiful red and gold rose with little fairy lights surrounding it. A Beauty and the Beast replicate, without a doubt, and it is so stunning you wish you could lift the glass and feel the fake rose for yourself. A man of taste, without a doubt.

Last but not least, you grab the envelope and excitedly tear it open, because envelopes mean one of three things: 1) a card 2) tickets 3) money, all unlikely options when it comes to Pollyanna.

Well, maybe not, because inside are two passes for the art museum up in the city. “Dude,” you kick Jaebeom’s ankle and stammer out, “how did you? When did you?”

He laughs. “You mentioned wanting to go a few months ago, and I didn’t think you ever got a chance. You haven’t, right?” He sounds worried. “No, I never got to go,” swallowing past the desert dryness of your throat, “thank you, Jaebeom. Everything is so beautiful.”

“Of course, ___,” he smiles, reaching for your hand and even though it’s only a gentle squeeze he gives you, it has your heart doing somersaults. “Anything for you.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. You are going through some serious torture here and still won’t make a move!

Everyone is extraordinarily jovial after opening gifts. With Christmas music filling the room with cheer and one too many drinks being mixed, holiday charades and pin the nose on Rudolph are played with high spirits and excessive competitiveness. The night is fun, without a doubt, and you try to ignore the way your friends are still trying to get you and Jaebeom under the mistletoe no matter how annoying it may be. Why can’t they do it to Yugyeom and Shelby? Sure, everyone knows they fuck but neither of them have the balls to officially ask the other out, so why are you the one targeted? Jaebeom didn’t ask for this, either.

“Fuck!” Youngjae groans when Maggie makes her shot into their cup for jingle bell beer pong. Since freshman year, you and Maggie have fought back and forth for the champion's title against Youngjae and Jackson. With this being the second win against them for the night, you get to wear the label proud until next time. “Oh, yeah, baby!” She shouts, doing a funky celebratory dance before jumping to give you a hug.

“I’m a disgrace to the Chinese community,” Jackson cries—literally—before squatting to bury his face in his knees.

“HA!” You laugh mercilessly, jumping along with Maggie in triumph. “You guys are so mean,” Mark chuckles, walking away from their own losers’ championship to see what all the commotion is about. “Just to Youngjae and Jackson,” Maggie defends, gesturing to the pair having a drunken meltdown together. You hum in agreement.

“Yugyeom and Jaebeom are playing Jinyoung and Bambam. It’s pretty intense,” Mark explains, blatantly sarcastic when you glance curiously to the other table. “They’re all so drunk, they’re literally just throwing bells at each other.” He holds up one such bell that must have strayed away from the game. You laugh, hugging your jacket closer and watching Yugyeom begin to twerk when he finally makes a shot.

“My God,” Maggie snickers, shielding her eyes and turning away from the scene to comfort the still depressed Jackson.

“So,” Mark starts, “you and Jaebeom, huh?”

You groan. “Me and Jaebeom, what?”

“I mean, those gifts he gave you were pretty cute. What’s it gonna take for you to ask him to go to the museum with you, hm?” He purrs with a rise of his dark brows. Shit, he does have a point. Why else would Jaebeom give you two passes? To bring one of your other, definitely less artsy friends to go with you?”

Mark simpers at your speechless self, knowing he’s trumped you.

Sucking in a deep breath, you hold the cold air in long enough to gather your scrambling thoughts before releasing a heavy exhale with absolutely no change to how you feel. “I’ll try,” you grumble, “why can’t he make the first move?”

Mark lets out a dry laugh. “___, are you serious?”

“Huh? What—”

“He’s been making the first move for months,” he interrupts, shaking his head at your textbook definition denseness, “you’ve just been curving him the entire time. I know you’ve been busy with law school stuff the past few months, but come on, now. You have to grab him before someone else does.”

If it weren’t for the chill of the air keeping your cheeks and the tip of your nose cold and ruddy, you know the color would have drained from your face. Embarrassed and in desperate need for some space, you quickly turn away to look in the direction of the house, where Coco scratches at the backdoor.

“I, um, I’ll be right back,” you say, voice small. Heart hammering in your chest as you jog up the steps and across the small deck, it isn’t until you have slid open the door to let Coco out and closed it behind you do you let out a shaky sigh. “Jesus Christ,” you hiss, shaking off your jacket and slinging it over a chair before moving to cower in the corner. Reaching for what little tortilla chips are left, you anxiously take the lid off your chicken dip and begin shoveling mouthfuls into your mouth. Is it true? Have you really been the one dodging Jaebeom all this time? Sure, everyone always says it, especially Jinyoung, but it has seemed like Jaebeom has been curving you, too.

Maybe he has just been giving up.

This makes your head hurt, you think, bending down to rest your forehead against the counter. The fucking gifts, man. Mark is right—the bracelet, the rose lamp, the museum tickets. How did he remember that small detail you mentioned… when did you even mention it? You can’t remember, yet he did! Jesus, all this time you’ve wasted being an absolute clown over this. You’ll have to do something about it. Tonight, you decide, looking to the clock above the stove. 11:12 PM. Forty-eight minutes until New Year’s. You’ll kiss him, and that’s when you will—

“Ahem.” Behind you, someone clears their throat and it quite literally feels as if you have jumped out of your skin. “Jesus Christ!” You jump, spinning around with a heart thumping in your chest. Your heartbeat only mildly slows once you realize it’s only Jaebeom. OnlyJaebeom, yeah. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, chuckling awkwardly. “Did I interrupt something?”

You wince, beyond humiliated he caught you mid-pep talk slash breakdown. “No, no. You’re fine, I was just, um…”

“Catching a breath?” He finishes when you trail off. Maybe he’s not so drunk, after all.

“Yeah,” you whisper, looking to your feet.

After a long moment of silence, Jaebeom clears his throat. “Listen, ___, I… I’ve been meaning to talk to you, and—”

“Wait!” You interrupt before your brain has even caught up. His eyes widen in surprise at your sudden excitement. “I need to tell you something, first.”

“Ohhh ‘kay,” he laughs nervously, stepping closer to lean against the counter beside you and his proximity suddenly makes it very hard to breathe, let alone figure out what you want to say.

“I don’t know where to start. Okay, um, first, I guess. The gifts you gave me? Amazing. Probably one of the best I’ve ever gotten. So thank you, really,” you start, rushed and out of breath. Jaebeom hums, lips tilting into an amused smirk. You don’t miss how he leans just barely closer. “Second. Mark was just talking to me, and he said something that just… fucked me up. Apparently, I’m good at school but not at catching when someone actually, truly likes me.”

At this, Jaebeom’s curiosity has peaked and his heartbeat starts to mirror your own. “I don’t know how this happened. I know we kissed over the summer, and you have been my friend for years but all of a sudden, I realized that I like you. You’re like, one of my favorite people in the world. But then things got crazy busy and I told myself I needed to concentrate, but for fuck’s sake, I’m still head over heels for you after all this time. And Mark said that if I don’t stop curving you, soon you are going to find someone else and, Jesus, I don’t think I can live with myself if I let you slip by.”

Somewhere in the middle of your ramble, Jaebeom has pressed himself to you and curled a finger through a belt loop in your jeans to keep you there against him. Even up close, he is so unbearably handsome, nose still beet red from the cold, lips cracked and face left unshaven. “So,” he whispers, raising his free hand to cup your face, “are you ready to finally stop running from me?” You offer a tiny nod, nuzzling into his hand before, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Can you kiss me?” Jaebeom doesn’t waste any time bothering to answer, tipping your chin up to meet his lips. Jaebeom’s kiss is soft, just a drawn-out peck but it’s enough to drop kick your sanity right out the door. “Tastes like buffalo chicken,” he whispers with a smile, just barely pulling back. Just as soon as he has stopped, you are fisting your hands into his jacket and tugging him back, greedily opening his mouth with yours and whimpering against him once he has caught the hint and slackened his jaw to deepen the kiss. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but kissing Jaebeom leaves you breathless, limbs weak kind of drunk on his taste and leaving you desperate for more.

“Jaebeom,” you sigh dreamily, arching into him when he drags a hand down your spine. “Fuck,” he whispers, pushing you further against the cabinets and mindlessly gyrating his hips with yours. Hands brushing past your ass to grip the back of your thighs, he orders, “Jump.” You do as he says, allowing him to help you onto the counter and you distantly pray someone doesn’t walk in on you, especially Youngjae. He’ll murder you if you knock something down.

“Can’t believe you’ve kept me waiting all this time when you kiss like that,” Jaebeom mutters, kissing along the length of your neck and groaning against your skin when your hands brush along the waistband of his pants. “Never met someone who wears an ugly sweater and still manages to be the hottest one in the room.”

Your breath hitches when his hand slips beneath your sweater, fingers brushing just over your bra and leaving fire in their wake. “Impossible,” you huff, wrapping your legs around him to pull him impossibly closer, his involuntary thrusts brushing deliciously against you, “when I say the same thing about you.” Jaebeom chuckles, returning to your mouth and cradling your jaw to meet him. You could do this forever, you think, nails digging into his arms when his hand cards through your hair and he kisses like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.

“God, I can’t do this when I’m not sober,” he sighs, leaning his forehead against yours and you can’t help but smile at the soft gesture. “Me too,” you admit, reaching to play with the soft hair at the back of his neck, “we can do this whenever now, though.” Jaebeom chuckles, leaning back to admire you before placing a much softer kiss on your lips. “Does that mean you’ll go out on a date with me?”

“Well, yes, of course,” you grin, sliding off the counter and cupping his face, “I meant what I said. I can’t bear the thought of not giving us a chance.”

“It’s about damn time,” Jaebeom teases, earning a light punch to his arm. “Hey! I’ve been stressed out of my mind. I was blind when it came to seeing you flirt with me.”

“I’m kidding, ___,” he chuckles, “I’m glad it took us until now. It’s a good way to start off the year, knowing I’ll meet my New Year’s Resolution and be able to bone you sooner than later.”

Your eyes widen at his words, warmth instantly blooming its way up your neck when you glance to the growing tent in his slacks and he lets out a triumphant laugh. In the midst of your embarrassed flush, the back-door slides open and none other than Jinyoung starts shouting, “Where the fuck have y’all been? Oh— shit! What happened?”

Then, not a heartbeat later, “Kiss! KIIIISSSSSSS!”

“KISS!” Maggie screams, bouncing behind Jinyoung and it isn’t until you look up do you understand. Of fucking course— the stupid mistletoe.

“Shall we, m’lady?” Jaebeom asks, voice laced with amusement. You quirk a brow at him, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him closer.

“We shall.”

·

·

·

Not even three hours into the new decade, Jaebeom has already met his New Year’s Resolution.

[slushrottweiler]

Main 6 when MC has a cold

Coz I'm sick and I want to be looked after

Asra

You being sick is actually his worst nightmare. So a little cough and a sniffle and he's in full on panic mode.

What if it's the plague again? No, the cured that, so it's something else. What if he brought back something from his travels and it made you sick? What if it's worse than the plague? How could he do this to you again!

It takes a bit of coaxing, but after you convince him it's just a cold, he does calm down

Enter Nurse Asra mode

Do you need anything? Are you too hot? Too cold? Do you want something to eat? Drink?

He makes herbal teas with soothing properties, until he finds the mix you like best

Faust curls up around your neck like a snakey scarf, trying to keep you warm. (Yes she is cold blooded, no it hasn't occurred to her that she isnt really helping)

Once you have everything you could possibly need, Asra will curl up in bed with you and read your favourite books aloud. His voice is as soothing as honey and soon your drifting off to sleep

He knows you wont kiss him on the lips, in case you pass on your cold. So he showers your cheeks and forehead with tender kisses. Faust snisses your chin.

Nadia

Has noticed you're coming down with something for a while now, and is prepared.

Once you start exhibiting symptoms, she calls in the royal physicians and immediately excuses you from any tasks you have scheduled.

No amount of whining will make her budge, so you begrudgingly allow her doctors to check you over.

When all the professionals have left, Nadia takes care of you personally.

Long, hot baths scented with eucalyptus oil to help your sinuses, round the clock honey tea and mild soups. She wants to keep you hydrated and warm

She will absolutely get into the bath with you. She will settle you in her lap and massage your temples, hoping to soothe any aches you might have.

When you're tucked into her bed, she will cradle your sore head against her chest and hum a Prakran lullaby to pull you to sleep.

No kisses until you're well. It's almost a tease and it drives you keep taking your medicine and rest. The sooner you're better, the sooner you can kiss your wife!

She won't admit it to anyone but you, but she actually finds your whiny sick persona quite cute, like a sulking puppy. If you call her one of when you're well, she blushes like crazy.

Julian

Dramatic boy is dramatic

Initially he's worried, but after a quick check he determines you just have a cold and that tempers his concern.

Activate doctor mode

He confines you to your bed, and proceeds to plough you with every cure for the common cold he knows.

You have had to talk him down from leeches once

"The medical shamans of Southern Nevivon grind the bark of this tree and mix it with molasses. It's supposed to help bring down a fever"

For the most part, his treatments are actually quite sane. A damn cloth on your forehead to cool you down, ice chips to keep you hydrated, warm, hearty broth and sweet tea to help your throat.

He will stand over you and make you take your medicine, arms crossed. You can distract him with a flirty smile and a pureed "Yes doctor."

He offers to help you use a neti pot, but you end up chucking pillows at him until he lets you do it yourself

As you start to heal, he becomes less stern and more playful in his caring. "One more spoonful and I'll give you a treat darling"

Knows he shouldn't, but he still gives you kisses anyway.

Usually ends up sick just after you, and is a much less co-operative patient.

Muriel

You are doing him a concern

He doesn't know what to do with his tiny human who is simultaneously demanding cuddles and telling him to leave them alone, he'll get sick too

After one last pitiful sniffle, Muriel has had enough.

He stormed over to you and simple scoops you off your feet, the dumps you onto his bed and begins piling furs on top of you

When you splitter and ask what he's doing, his only reply is a grunt and a curt "Stay."

He then disappears outside, leaving you trapped under the furs.

Eventually he returns with a bucket of fresh water and a fistful of herbs. Inanna trots in behind him

Muriel knows how to care for sick animals, so he proceeds to treat you the same way he would treat any other mammal.

Water, food and heat. He lets you chew some of the herbs he brought when you're in pain, or your fever gets too high.

He sends Inanna to snuggle with you, but that just results with two sets of puppy dog eyes asking for cuddles

Eventually he caves

He carries you everywhere. To the bathroom. Outside for some fresh air. Even to sit infront of the fire. When asked why, he blushes madly and says you need to rest.

At night, he will gently play with your hair as your drift off to sleep.

Can be bribed into kisses by saying "it'll help me get better."

Portia

This is a woman on a mission

"No way are you going anywhere, get back into that bed right now!"

She tends to give off mazelinka vibes. It's kinda terrifying.

Once you're bundled up in bed, she sets about efficiently treating your cold.

Herbal teas, cool water, nutritious meals and lots of rest. She picks up a balm from Asra to rub on your chest. She efficiently takes your temperature every few hours and alters her treatment to match.

No amount of sulking or pouting will deter her

"Oh dear God, you're worse than Ilya! Just sit down and shut it and let me take care of you!"

If you told her she was cute when she was forceful, she'd blush and flick you on the ear

No kisses on the lips,but she will rain kisses all over your face just to see you smile

Pepi is now your permanent companion. She curls up on the pillow beside you and snoozes.

She juggles her duties at the palace and taking care of you quite well

At night, she still crawls into bed with you and snuggles close, regardless of how clammy you are. If you tell her to stay away in case she gets sick, she just scoffs.

"A little cold isn't gonna keep me from the love of my life."

Lucio

Doesn't realise you're sick until you're groaning and coughing in bed one morning.

"Everyone Out! You, get me the physician. You, fetch the softest sleep robes we have. Everyone else get the hell out!"

Stands guard as the doctors look over you, leaning against the far wall and scowling every time you so much as whimper.

Under the bluster and bravado, he's terrified.

What if you're really sick

What if he did this to you. After all, he caused the plague.

He has various servants cater to your every need and desire. Fresh pillows, flavoured water, fresh squeezed juice. All the while he keeps his distance.

He's stays at the door, shaking at how small you look curled up on his bed.

With some prompting, eventually he'll  come over. He eventually caves and explains why he has been avoiding you

You snort, and call him a dumbass. Assuring him its just a cold, he pouts at you for teasing him, but is obviously relieved.

Will 100% crawl into bed with you and pull you close, gently running his metal hand through your hair

Said metal hand feels great on your feverish skin, so cool. Your not above draping over your forehead like a cold compress

Mercedes and Melichor try to jump onto the bed with you, but Lucio puts a stop to it

"No. No! Mummy/Bibi/Daddy/etc is not feeling well, you two lay off."

Stays with you for all further doctors checks, hugging you from behind with his arms wrapped around you

Nothing will stop this man from kissing you. Nothing at all.

[leagueofidiots]

Shigadabi, tad bit of angst but it's brief, death in game, set in current manga time for once lol

Based off of this post: https://leagueofidiots.tumblr.com/post/190065984843/leagueofidiots-lunarapocolypse

"I don't understand why you can't just play with Spinner," says Dabi. "I'm probably gonna suck at this."

"Never know until you try," says Shigaraki, starting the game up. "Besides, I trust your abilities. And even if you do suck, it'll be nice to spend time together for once." 

Dabi nods. "Fair enough." Since joining the Paranormal Liberation Front, their moments alone had been few and far between because of Dabi's habit of isolating himself when stressed and all of Tomura's new responsibilities. "What's this one called again?"

"Minecraft. It's pretty simple. You just try not to die and make stuff." He grabs his remote, prosthetic fingers clacking on the plastic. "Basic controls: mine, place, motion, direction, crafting menu, pause, map, jump," he says, pointing at various controls.

Dabi nods, catching about half of the instructions. "Yeah, okay. Uh...die how?"

"Just zombies and stuff. You'll figure it out." He quickly makes a world in normal mode instead of hard, per Dabi's request, named "my bf sucks", and starts up the videogame.

Once making it through the tutorial segment for Dabi's sake, Dabi says, " Okay, so first we should probably make a better shelter, right? I don't want to stand in a hole in the side of a mountain again tonight."

Shigaraki shrugs. "You can handle that if you want, I'm gonna go do something else. Meet up at this ugly tree at sunset, I guess?"

"Yeah, sure, okay." Dabi almost argues that building a proper shelter in one day should be a two-person job, but reminds himself that out of the two of them, Tomura's the gamer and definitely more experienced.

It does turn out to be simpler than he expected, not much more than digging down a tree for a door and digging up row after row or dirt. Suddenly he hears a wave of pathetic "meows", and glances in alarm at Shigaraki's side of the screen. " What are you doing?!?"

Shigaraki's hot bar is full of stacks of spawn eggs, which are rapidly being thrown down into a deep pool he sits in, the resulting cats floating up to a stone roof and slowly drowning. "Being more fun than you."

"That's not 'fun', you NEET, that's useless murder! Where did you even get those?!?"

Tomura chuckles. "You think I've been playing this long and haven't learned the cheat codes? Besides, you're the one that goes into alleyways to set stray thugs on fire, not me. At least mine's just pixelated cats."

Dabi rolls his eyes. "You could at least help me with the shelter here."

"It's a fifteen-by-eight two-story dirt palace, I don't think you need any help. Besides, it's a game. It's supposed to be fun. You're making this like one of Kurogiri's old---" He cuts himself off at the mention of his father figure.

Dabi glances at his boyfriend, slightly concerned, though he'll never show it. "Fine, keep drowning cats, see if I care. But at least come back with beds if you can generate stuff."

He nods, shooting off another few eggs. "Dabi, do you think we're ever gonna win this thing?" he asks, leaning onto Dabi's shoulder.

The man stiffens a little, but lets Tomura stay. "Yeah, I'm sure we can at least get something done. We've already had an influence, haven't we? I mean, All Might retired, there's been a resurgence in thinking like ours, and I don't think it'll just die down even if we do all end up dead or in custody. You've done good work," he says, continuing to place blocks onto their house.

"I hope it's worth it. I mean, yeah, we've done good things, but...I mean, first it was All for One. Then Magne died. Now Kurogiri. I'd hate to have to make any more sacrifices is all." 

He shoots another stack of spawn eggs down, then turns to his boyfriend. "How have you been since your fight with that Geten freak?"

Dabi groans. "He sucks. I'm fine. Burned the side of my face a little, but nothing so bad that Ujiko couldn't fix it."

Shigaraki nods. After a moment, he says,"How would you feel about a magma floor? It'd keep mobs out, might kill us if we're not careful though." He summons a stack with the press of a few buttons.

"Only if you let me place it. No offense, but I'm not sure you're exactly worried about survival based on the way you were murdering animals instead of helping me." Dabi says, finally done with their shelter.

"No, I wanna do it."

"Fine, I'll go get food. You could have at least drowned cows for food or something, geez." He was glad to have moved on from the heavier topics. Sure, it was kind of nice to have people to talk to about things like that, but he also didn't know how to. He doubted Tomura was any better at it, anyway.

"Alright, knock yourself out. Step carefully once you get back." The second Dabi passes over a hill on his quest, Shigaraki grins, and presses a few buttons in rapid-fire, the sky darkening instantly.

"Creep, I swear, put the sky back!" snaps Dabi, gently bumping Tomura off of his shoulder.

He snickers. "You were gonna have to deal with the mobs at some point. Don't worry, you're only about a minute from home."

Dabi huffs, and begins his return to the shelter. He cuts short when he sees a tall, black figure in his way. "What is this and how do I get rid of it?"

"Oh, that's an enderman. Don't worry, all you have to do is look at it right in the eye, it'll teleport away."

Dabi recognizes it as the thing Kurogiri was often compared to by both Tomura and Suichi, but decides not to bring it up. "That seems easy enough," he mumbles, adjusting his cursor to meet its purple gaze. There is a short yelp as the enderman nears to murder poor, trusting, innocent Dabi; and Shigaraki falls to the floor, cackling. Dabi was never playing this again.

[lonelypond]

Nico Attacks: A Campfire Story, Ch. 4

Love Live, NIcoMaki, 1.7K, 4/4

Summary: Maki is hoping Nico is out of tricks, but will there be a treat?

Trick or....?

The music was still playing. And pernicious. It had to go. Maki found the speakers, but they were secured in strong harnesses. To keep her safe as well as random animals and children who might wander by(although Nico had a twitch about chipmunks for some reason). Maki imagined Nico climbing up trees to set everything up. For better or worse, Nico was all about the personal touch. No one did anything like Nico. It had fascinated Maki from her first encounter with the charismatic, ambitious, and quicksilver charmer she’d married. The lantern caught a glint of pink. Ah, Maki had tracked the source of the evil, Nico’s back up mp3 player. Maki reached up to pull it out of its cozy case, and resisted the urge to stomp it into the ground. It wouldn’t have damaged it though, like Nico, it was made of surprisingly resilient material. When other people saw Nico and thought soft, tiny, fluttery petal, Maki just chuckled and waited for them to crawl, battered and crying, out of whatever battle arena they’d chosen to confront Nico in. Urban or wilderness environment, social media or backstage fan meet and greet, Nico thrived. Not that the Nishikino mountain camp was a particularly wild spot, still Nico was as much in her element here as performing on a stage or anonymous in downtown Tokyo, elbowing people out of the way for rare Idol collectibles.

Maki sighed, she couldn’t imagine Nico had a prank climax better than forced listening to deliberately awful versions of Maki’s original creations, but it was Nico, so there were always surprises. She had the sudden urge to just turn around and have Nico right there, ready to be pulled into her arms and distracted from further chaos. But first, some payback was required. Or at least some grumpiness. So Maki stomped her boots, set her jaw, and turned toward the cabin. Nico was going to have to earn her Halloween treat.

###

Dia had always been fussy. Nico had just crawled into the tent to kiss Dia and Ruby before she headed to the cabin to complete the Halloween prankfest. Ruby was curled up against her sister, soundly asleep, red hair such a vivid reminder of Maki, their child’s rare sweetness protected fiercely by everyone around her. As Nico smiled at her daughters, Dia’s green eyes opened suddenly. The scowl was accusatory as was the whispery hiss.

“Bzzzt...you’re going to wake up, Ruby, Mom.”

“Nico is quiet.” Nico smiled, pulling Dia’s blanket up, “You take good care of her, bun.”

Dia nodded, serious and grave. Neither Maki nor Nico claimed credit for that part of Dia’s personality. Maki had always seemed more mature than her years, but had been quick to revert to the goof Nico loved to tease. Dia vibed grandfatherly accountant.

“What’re you going to do next?” Dia whispered.

NIco smiled, “Make sure your Mama gets home safe.”

Dia nodded. She could approve that. “You could help her change clothes too. The pumpkins were really messy.”

Nico swallowed a nervous giggle. They’d obviously used the “changing clothes” excuse too many times in Dia’s hearing. Nico was just glad this was the RinPana tent and not one Nozomi was anywhere near.

“I’ll do my best. If your Mama wants help.”

Nico wasn’t sure about that one. She’d probably gone a little far with the Soldier Game and Bibi remixes. But Maki shouldn’t have said that Nico was slowing down. Nico always kept two steps ahead of Dia and several jumps ahead of Maki. Nico snorted, remembering Maki’s panic when she’d seen Nico’s glare.

Dia glared and pointed at Ruby. “Shh.”

Nico nodded, kissing Dia softly on the forehead, “Don’t worry so much.”

“Don’t let Mama get too mad. Ruby gets sad.”

“Nico will do her best.” And Nico did the quietest, quickest version of her signature gesture yet, “Nico Nico Ni.”

It was as good as a lullaby, Dia yawned and flipped over. Nico waved to a Hanayo absorbed in her phone, grabbed the lantern, and went back to mischief.

###

Maki was on the right path. The trees were thinning out. There was no warped music in the air, taunting and teasing her. The air had a bracing chill, light from the lantern scattered against roots, bushes, and branches in intriguing patterns. Everyone else was settled in camp, around the campfire, a comfortable picture, but Maki was enjoying this solitude, stopping to glance up at her favorite seasonal constellations, feeling her posture straighten up after weeks of being hunched over a midi keyboard scoring an animated short for an Oscar winning studio. Of course, there still might be traps. Nico was always thorough about anything she did. Maki chuckled, when had dates become this crazy? Well, kinda always, she admitted to herself with a giggle. One of their first dates had been running away from Rin pretending to be paparazzi so a booby trapped trail of minor terrors was very Nico. Maybe it was past time to leave Ruby and Dia with her parents for a couple of weeks and take her wife off somewhere romantic. To reeducate Nico on what constituted a proper date. Nico always claimed marriage precluded dating, but Maki relished Nico in courtship mode, on the rare occasion the Number One Idol in any universe decided to be the Number One Wooer. But recently, Nico had been even crazier busy working on her switch to directing and producing.

A rustle. To the right. Maki froze, listening. No followup movement so either gravity on a leaf or a nocturnal animal rushing off. But she needed to pay more attention. Nico surely had more tricks in mind as Maki approached the cabin.

Dark, silent cabin in sight and fishing wire across the path. Nico suddenly being obvious? Maki knelt and pulled the lantern through the obstacle. Rows of softly lit luminaries and golden fairy lights created a lovely path to the separate entrance they’d had installed for the master suite. Had Nico switched to treats?

###

 Nico lit the last candle, and the low light around the master bath set a cozy, romantic mood Nico wanted to stay and enjoy with her stubborn, gorgeous, slippery even when not wet wife. But as much as Nico claimed this was a revenge prank, Maki had also been spending too much time commuting between Tokyo and Uchiara, dealing with both the girls and Nishikino family business while Nico was working on her directorial debut. So Maki was definitely peopled out even before all of their Muse family had arrived for the Halloween camp out.

Nico smiled, remembering years of sitting together, fireside, with Maki, telling stories of when they each realized it was love, reminiscing about the Muse training camp that had proven their connection deeper than either had been ready to acknowledge.

Humming “Yume No Tobira,” Nico scattered rose petals over the scented bathwater, smiling at the ripples that would turn into waves when Maki stretched out those dreamfuel legs to dip them into the water, sink in, lean back, eyes closed, shimmering red hair wrapped in a turban, arms stretched out...Nico dipped a hand in the water, splashing her face to shake off fantasy mode. She meant to give Maki some solitude. After that, there would be time for mutual appreciation.

Nico saw the fairy lights glow on. Maki had arrived. Pulling up her dark hoodie, Nico headed to the front door. Maki would probably follow the path Nico had created so Nico could sneak back to the campsite. And then, tomorrow, Nico would show up bright and early to cook a beautiful princess a delicious brunch.

###

“Nico?” Umi stepped out of her tent.

“She’s not here.” Nozomi said with a smirk, “What do you need?”

“Kotori wanted to know what the plan was for breakfast.”

“In bed, I’d guess.” Nozomi winked.

“What do you mean? Maki was quite determined…”

“How long have you known the two of them, Umi?”

Awkward silence and then Umi sighed.

“Where’s your wife?”

“Passed out from exhaustion.”

Umi paled, not quite taken sick enough to faint. Nozomi chuckled, “Why do you even ask?”

Umi rolled her eyes with a wry chuckle, “That is a very good question. I will consider it. Good night, my friend.”

Nozomi waved, continuing to sip her herbal tea. It was a beautiful night, crisp and clear. She always appreciated the chance to exist in mountain stillness, far from urban bustle.

###

Ahmad Jamal. "Jeff". Just perfect. Maki swooped a hand hrough the water. The shower had gotten the pumpkin goop out of her hair. Now, warm water and flickering candles. Nico knew how to set a romantic scene. There had even been a snack, bruschetta warm from the oven, the perfect Chianti to accompany it. Maki's private chef. Smiling at so many memories and tracing a languid finger across her now tingling lip, Maki wondered where the Halloween imp was. And perfectly timed, her phone pinged.

N: The stars here are stunning, but don’t leave Nico breathless like your eyes.

M: I was wrong. You haven’t matured at all.

N: And you haven’t gotten any better at flirting.

Maki paused, wondering if she dared.

M: I’m just so...

N: ?!?!?!

M: Wet.

Maki splashed her hand across the surface, imagining Nico’s expression.

N: You’re giggling, aren’t you. That’s not flirting, that’s…

M: ?!?!?!

N: Provoking. Nico is provoked.

M: Not as provoked as I was listening to...

N: Nico is a genius (￣︶￣;)

M: Nico is a terror ƪ(`▿▿▿▿´ƪ). Trick or trap.

N: That’s not how it goes. Nico prepared a full, IMPRESSIVE, immersive Halloween experience. You shivered, don’t lie to Nico.

M: ((ﾟ□ﾟ;))

M: I might be cold. Or…

N: Or?

M: You know, wet ^.~

N: You are going to be so embarrassed when Nico asks you exactly how wet…

Maki put the phone down, her face was flaming, she could feel it. Conversations with Nico always went just too far. But the thought of Nico showing up, opening the door, knowing Maki was under the sheets, waiting...Maki stood up, legs already shaky, Nico’s voice repeating whispers in her memory. A brash knock on the door to the master suite startled her as her phone pinged. Nico always ruined fantasies. Or improved them.

N: Trick or treat?

M: Just come inside.

N: (^_<)～☆

M: I can still lock the door.

And there was Nico’s bright, knowing laugh in the bedroom, “Nico just wants a sweet.”

Maki draped a towel over her shoulder and opened the door, “All right.”

A/N: You did good, voters.

Working on my multi chapters, chunk by chunk.

Do you like Edgar Allan Poe? We did radio plays. https://anchor.fm/upstart-arts/episodes/The-Cask-Of-Amontillado-em6rq3

[xiaosdinonuggies]

Continuation from the story I started earlier. You can find it here if you wanna give it a read ^^ I do appreciate feedback.                                            »»——⍟——««

It wasn’t until the next day that the exhausted hero woke up from the strain caused by the night before. She didn’t remember even going home, just remembered a loud scream before forgetting everything afterwards. Whatever had happened, she didn’t trust the so-called ‘ally of the heroes’, Iris. Looking around the room, she saw the begging eyes of a basset hound staring at her. It brought an instant smile to her face. 

“Awww, Burrito. You’re cute.” She patted the dog for a moment before getting out of bed. 

Once she slipped the fuzzy bunny slippers onto her feet, she realized that her costume was taken off and hanging up on the closet--fully washed and ironed. Two moments later, and older woman leaning on a cane hobbled into the bedroom.  “Ms. West, you really should be careful when you jump through the windows. Someone could have seen you come crashing into the house, or heard you with all that noise you caused. Are you trying to hide your identity from criminals?”  She tapped her cane against the woman’s arm with a frown. “You’re twenty-seven and have been doing this since you were a teenager. I’d expect you to know this by now.”  “Sorry Nana.” In no way was this doting woman related to the young hero, but the two shared such a loving friendship that she couldn’t call the elderly woman anything different.  She ended up leaving without saying anything else, just leaving a plate of pancakes on the desk before dipping from the room. Sighing, the hero went over towards the plate and plucked a few pancakes off the top before sitting down and opening her laptop. Someone had to have recorded last nights chase,  the city was way too nosy to not have take a video of at least something. 

Deciding to start with the common social media platforms, she opened up Twitter first and scrolled through it. When that struck out, Instagram, Facebook, and even YouTube were searched through. She found nothing, to her surprise. Checking the clock, it was well after 3 p.m. She’d been sitting there for almost four hours and came up with absolutely nothing. 

Rubbing her eyes as she groaned, the thought of the dark web came to mind. Well....It wasn’t entirely a bad idea if the threat of being chased by Iris still lingered in the air. Besides, finding out who had shown up before she passed out was important. Maybe not just to figure out who needed thanking, but also because they might be in whatever trouble that was meant for her. 

Still not wanting the dark web to be on her conscience, she tried seeing if perhaps a few others in the hero community could help her out. After all, most of the heroes with actual paying jobs had cameras all around the city. If she could get her hands on it...perhaps she’d know what happened last night. Sliding her phone from her pocket, she dialed the first number that popped up. It was only labeled with a leaf, nothing more. If anyone had gotten a hold of her phone, she didn’t want anyone getting much more than numbers. “What West? Everyone knows I’m on vacation in Paris. Its 2 in the morning, make it quick before I send a pipe bomb to your house.” The girl on the end of the line had definitely just been woken up and wasn’t too happy about it.  “Sorry, sorry. I was wondering if you had any cameras set up near the dark side?” The dark side was usually what they referred to the rougher side of the city, rather than calling it something worse.  “You couldn’t have called my brother--or either one of my sisters? Never mind...I do but you’re going to need the login for it. I’ll just text it to you. Goodnight and good luck with whatever you’re doing.” The line dropped right after that. 

Just as promised, the login and link to the cameras was sent to her phone. While there was the feeling of guilt for waking the resting vigilante during her one month of rest, this was urgent. Besides, she was convinced the other girl’s older brother had some sort of weird condition that caused him to disrespect most the people he came in contact with. Weird. 

The cameras were definitely more useful than the internet had been. The exact moment had been fully recorded from the time the canister dropped to when she was having trouble breathing. “Dear god, I look like I’m having heart burn or something. That’s attractive.” She stopped providing commentary for herself when a blur moved across the screen. After nearly choking on her own saliva, she replayed the whole thing just to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

She threw her hands in the air. “That’s it. My career is over.” 

The very petty-thief she’d been trying to catch since she was nineteen had taken a high-voltage hit to the back for her right after kicking her through the portal to send her home. That explained why she woke up in her bedroom instead of behind a dumpster. But why save her? 

Throwing herself into full work mode, she politely asked Nana to make a large pot of hot tea since she’d be sitting there a while. As she started digging into any little thing she could find on Iris, the older woman sat behind her and offered advice every once in a while. The sun had set by the time she had actually collected enough that was considered useful. 

It seemed that the government-sponsored company wasn't as heroic as the people they claimed to work with. Several personal blogs, including those of a small-time reporter, had gone into detail about community heroes going missing after talking with Iris. All of them had been approached in the same way she had, Iris claiming they mistook the hero for a villain or criminal and apologizing for it. However, there were never any sightings of the heroes in question once they’d been reportedly released. 

Putting her cup of tea down, a frown worked its way onto her face. If heroes had been going missing, she couldn’t imagine what had been happening to them. Whatever Iris was doing must have been behind the larger heroes' backs, and probably wasn't anything legal if it was being covered up so well. Depending on what was actually going on in their facilities, they were likely treating their villains worse than their potentially kidnapped heroes.  “ You don’t find any of this offensive?” Nana spoke up, raising an eyebrow from her own tea.  “What do you mean?”  “They went after you. That means they think you’re a nobody!” 

------

Two hours had gone by and there was an open suitcase on her bed. Her costume was shoved inside it, along with anything else she could possibly fit. When she leaned over to zip it, a Scottish Fold hopped onto the pillows that had been forcefully pushed into the overflowing suitcases. This led to more stuff being somehow fit inside the case, mostly cat products. 

“I mean if this goes sour, at least I have you and Burrito. You wanna go break a villain out of jail Simon?” The cat meowed back at her in response. “This is why I’m single. I talk to cats.” 

Bringing the suitcase to a rather broken-down looking car, she said her goodbyes to the elderly woman before putting the two animals in the car and driving off. She’d reached out to another friend, getting a location of the Iris-owned facility in the city. It was near the emptier section where the rich bought huge properties for the sole purpose of not having to look at their neighbors. She supposed that would have been a perfect spot for them to set up, somewhere no one would notice anything sketchy going on. 

It was well into the late hours of the night, maybe early morning when she pulled into the parking lot of a Dollar General with the lights off. It was about a half-mile away from the actual facility, but she didn’t want anyone seeing her car so close by and piecing things together. The cat was on her shoulder as she pulled a backpack from the trunk of the car and slung it over the opposite shoulder. Thus began the twenty minute walk towards the facility, and the poor performance of her attempting to climb someone’s storage warehouse. 

Once she had gotten up there, she looked over the facility and started taking photos for later. It was only when she noticed a lone female agent standing off to the side while talking annoyingly loud on the phone. A grin twitched at the corners of the hero’s mouth.  “You’ll do Karen, you’ll do.” Sliding the backpack onto the roof, she unzipped it and pulled out a brown wig similar to the Karen’s hair. 

After fixing the wig to her head, she made quick work of knocking the woman unconscious and stealing her uniform, leaving a thin dark-colored blanket just to keep her body hidden. Thankfully this woman had a pretty plain face and always wore sunglasses, so it wasn't entirely hard to pull something like this off. After stealing the woman's ID badge and putting Simon in her bag, the nervous twenty-seven-year-old made her way to the front doors. 

Nobody questioned her when she walked back inside, lifting her phone to her ear as if she were still talking on it. A few people rolled their eyes, as if this were a regular thing. ‘It kind of makes me wonder how hard it actually is to get in here.’

Trying to be subtle while searching for something had no clue as the whereabouts to was incredibly difficult. She kept stumbling over the high heels, laughing and just blaming it on that ‘darn gravitational pull’. Eventually she tripped into another hallway. It was long, and only had one door at the very end. Deciding this had to be it, she picked herself up and made her way down the hall as quietly as possible. The door was made of steal and had tempered bulletproof glass in the corner. Even with the high heels, she was still too short to reach it. 

Leaning on the door in an attempt to hear through it, she got nothing. Deciding to test her luck, she pushed on the door handle. Surprisingly, it opened. There was only one person in the room, so she shut the door and locked it. Hanging upside down in chains was the person she’d been trying to stop for years. She stared into his green eyes, only finding them full of fear. It was such a change from arrogant and mischievous that it shocked her to her core.  

“I told you, I don't know anything. I don’t know who they are!” He started thrashing around to the point where she just pulled the wig and glasses off. There was a purple-colored domino mask replacing her usual one but it still looked enough like her normal costume to be recognizable. A net was covering her natural hair for the moment, so she wasn't too worried.  “Sucky name?” He looked at her with confusion in his eyes. “You really shouldn’t be here. You need to go. They’re trying to find you.”  “Yeah, I’ve got that. But I didn’t come all the way out here just to leave you behind. Also stop calling me that, my name is Origami.” She went over to the chains and started working at the lock while the cat climbed from her purse and went over to the barred window.  “Exactly. Sucky name. I’ll stop calling you that when you stop calling me Cottontail.” Without warning, the chains unraveled and he tumbled to the floor head-first. “You did that on purpose.” 

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Grinning, she pulled the chains to the side and let them pile in the corner. 

There was a clanging noise as the window and bars hit the floor. It made the villain jump a bit but Origami just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Simon do you really have to be that loud?” “Wait, you have a magical cat? All these years and you’ve never once brought your cat, who can apparently cut through metal rods, to any of our fights.” He stared at her, but she just shrugged and pointed to the open window. “Didn’t see the need to bother him for a skinny crook like you. Now climb out that window before I punt your fuzzy butt out of it for you. I don’t have all night.” He snorted a bitterly but obeyed, starting to climb out the window. “Funny. I don’t recall you ever having caught me.” 

Once he had gotten out, she dropped next to him with the cat in her arms. “What’s next, hero?”  He was referring to the large group that currently had their guns pointed at the both of them. With a bit of hesitation, she pulled three of the folded wolves and blew onto them. They grew and sprang to life, the six foot creations immediately taking action and beginning to make quick work of them. Almost instantly her chest tightened and her breathing became labored. It wasn't anything she couldn’t handle for the moment, though. Grabbing his hand, she pulled another paper creation out of her bag. Though, this time it was a butterfly. When it grew, it was only about four feet. Even still, it was enough to carry them off into the coming sunrise. 

[ludonarrativediss]

When We Stop Playing Games

I've been thinking a lot recently about when we stop playing games. Not like stop playing all games forever ("When I'm dead!" exclaims the gamer, skin glistening with the early morning's Mountain Dew), but instead when we put down a game to go onto another game. Or maybe when we put down a game for good.

As a child, this never happened to me. I got one, maybe two new games a year, which meant my backlog hadn't been conceived yet. I always went back and played the games I owned, even the ones I had beaten, because those were the games I had. Most of my game playing back then came from game rentals, which by their very nature had built-in times when I would stop playing them. In my case, when my parents were driving to town the next day and it had to be returned.

In the aughts, which I spent mostly in my twenties, the nature of games changed and so did the way I consumed them. There were a lot more games, and those games were a lot more about their stories. Games for me became contained experiences. I played the games to their conclusion, I saw the ending, and then I moved onto a new game. Games had unlocks and new game plus modes and higher difficulties, but there were too many games to even consider any of that, we had to keep moving forward.  That said, even in the early 2000s, you could see the glimmer of games as a service. For me, these were games that my roommates and I could become obsessed with, play asynchronously, and then discuss together. I think a lot of people my age had these experiences in college with Halo or GTA, but my roommates and I were weirdos, so my dorm was obsessed with Animal Crossing on the Gamecube and Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball on the Xbox. These were games without endings, games we could play for an hour a day and feel like we were forever making progress cleaning up our animal towns or dressing up our volleyball ladies.

Then at some point we were all online and we could play with each other even if we hadn't chosen to live in the same liberal arts dorm room. More importantly, all of our games could get updates all the time. Soon, that meant most of the games I was buying weren't finished, and therefore could never be finished by me. Games As A Service: the most boring way to describe the game we all wished for as a kid, the game that never ends, the game you might not even have to buy, but the game you definitely don't have to get your parents to drive you to the video store for. Hey wait Past Me, put down that monkey paw, I've got a bad feeling about thi—

We wished for something new and we got something old. I've been playing Fortnite and Destiny and Overwatch for years now. The stories never end. The gameplay is always evolving. I'm playing it just like I played games as a kid, everyday popping in the same copy of Super Mario Bros 3 (after blowing on it), but in this strange future Super Mario Bros 3 has a Lunar New Year Goomba this week, and they're slowly rolling out lore this season that's really building on the Bullet Bill raid they released in November, and ugh they nerfed the tanooki suit again.

Hey it's great, playing these Games As A Service that I personally click with, where I follow the updates and complete the challenges and obsess over the lore—it's great—but hey guys when do we stop? They've hired psychologists and sociologists and economists to help build these levers and adjust these dials to make sure we keep spending money and never stop playing. And those story games I loved in the aughts? They're still coming out. I've got a stack of weird cool interesting games that I've never managed to get to, burning a hole in my hard drive. I know I need to play Undertale and Kentucky Route Zero and Telling Lies, but those are standalone experiences that aren't going anywhere, and so I need to turn on the new event in Fortnite while it's still there, I need to put some time into my Diablo III character this season—I need to play the same games I've been playing for the last five years.

When I talk to friends who don't play games, they don't get it. See, they get to watch a two hour movie and get a nice, satisfying, full experience. In comparison, I've got these games I've played for literally hundreds of hours, over the course of years, and some nights I've had some of the most incredible, immersive experiences of my life. These are the nights when the gameplay told a story, where the random human players on my team delivered a narrative through their actions, and we discovered the new season's lore together. Other nights I just fucked around and lost a lot of matches, but my numbers did go up and I did feel a false sense of accomplishment. So what do I do, do I keep playing?

Personally, I'm trying really hard to push through the new game anxiety and expand the titles and genres I'm spending my time with. I'm trying not to get caught up in limited time events in my ongoing games, and only playing them when I genuinely want to play them. It's a balancing act between not thinking too much and just playing what I feel like playing, while also pushing against the brain tricks my favorite games are using against me, and learning when to sample something new. Xbox Gamepass has been really good for that, because I can try something new with no expectation that I need to put in a certain number of hours because I spent actual money on it and it's sitting in my backlog, and that sense of "this is free, whatever" (even if it's not actually free) really cuts down on that initial new game anxiety.

Look, man, I don't have the answers. I don't have an answer. But I've been thinking about it a lot recently, I've been thinking about when we stop playing games, so that we can play new games. The stuff I've been playing, the stuff I already know how to play—those are the safe games. That's the nice warm bed to curl back into on these cold winter months. It's the familiarity that brings me back, and it's that familiarity that makes the little changes every week or every season really feel so important. Real new stuff, though, brand new games where I have to learn how to play again from scratch, that's what's hard. That's what's intimidating. But if I don't jump into those new games, then I won't find my new favorite. I'll miss out on the real ongoing narrative, which is the journey our industry is taking as it shakes off the Doritos dust of its adolescence. That's the lore I don't want to miss out on.

[jui-imouto-chan]

Part 11 of The Mostly Human AU

Level Select:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Suggestions by @supposedlymatureadult

It’s odd to be in the house without Conan or Collin around.

Even Hank feels a bit off with the lack of the twins’ presence.

He keeps going to their rooms to inform that breakfast is ready, or lunch, or dinner, and he finds himself deflating when he remembers that they’re gone.

He places one shirt on each of their door’s knobs to remind himself to stop when he goes to enter their rooms.

Some nights, he’ll lay on their beds and wear their shirts while going into sleep mode.

Hank takes a few pictures and prints them out without Connor’s knowledge—he has good reasons, and he’s sure he’ll be forgiven.

Hank proposes the idea of a care package, and Connor leaps at the chance to provide for two of his closest people.

Connor prepares a bunch of food that he then freezes for them to heat up after they receive it.

He also packs medicine, some extra school supplies, and puts in some of the money he’d gotten from his detective-ing.

He also recognizes that they’re in college, so he hides something else inside of one of the zippable binders.

Hank slips some extra things into the package just as they’re about to seal it, but Connor doesn’t inspect nor question it—they’re Hank’s sons, not Connor’s. Whatever is in there is from Hank to them, and Connor can respect that.

The twins share an apartment nearby the campus, and find a package had been shipped to them, sitting on their doorstep.

“I hope it’s not a bomb.”

“It’s from dad, it’s probably a gun or something.”

“Let’s open it inside, then; don’t want the neighbors to catch us with a firearm again.”

“Yeah, that was messy.”

They open it and immediately find a note taped to the inside.

‘Hope you’re doing well! It’s weird not seeing you every day, and I’m finding that I miss you two a lot! Please do call me soon, I really want to hear your voices again! Hank’s message for you is, “Fuck shit up and don’t die.” Sumo only says “boof”, but I’m sure what he’s saying is full of affection. -Connor’

The note is cute, the words holding so much warmth and personality despite being written with perfect handwriting—the typeface appears to be specific to androids, from what they understand, after having scanned it with an app.

Conan and Collin fight over who keeps the note, but eventually they agree to stick it to the fridge.

After they get over their appreciation for Connor’s overwhelmingly endearing note, they see that he had labeled everything he packaged with little post-its.

The miscellaneous meals all had instructions for storing and heating. Connor prepared their favorites.

They immediately set about disposing of the dry ice they were packaged with and putting the food away. Conan also puts the medicine in the cabinet near the sink, while Collin places the school supplies on the table. One of the binders is heavier than the other, and he decides to investigate that after they’ve gotten everything out of the package. The money is placed in their savings jar, which they stash in a safe place.

At the bottom of the package is an envelope with the words, ‘From Dad’ on the top in Hank’s semi-neat, semi-sloppy handwriting.

Collin pulls it out and waits for Conan to sit beside him, tearing it open only after the older twin urges him to do so.

He reaches in an pulls up a few pieces of photo paper, though they’re facing away, so he can’t see what images are on them yet. The envelope reads, ‘He misses you two.’ under the cover.

They turn the photos over to see images of Connor sleeping in their clothes and their beds, pillows arranged to replace their bodies so that Connor could hug and cuddle them. There are two copies of each photo, so they can divide them up and take their share without fuss.

Their father knows them well.

Collin mentions the binder after he and Conan put the photos in their rooms.

He and Conan are surprised to find packages of condoms inside.

“Connor what the fuck.” Collin mutters to himself.

There’s an assortment of sizes, Connor got them anything between medium and extra large and they feel an odd sense of pride at that. There are also miscellaneous flavors and colors.

‘College is a place to learn first and foremost, but a search has shown me that there’s a lot of intercourse that occurs during a student’s time there, so I’m making sure you guys are safe! I didn’t know for sure what you’d prefer and your specifications on size, so I’ve taken the liberty of buying you a bunch! Have fun! 😉’

The winky face at the end is what gets Collin to groan into his hands and Conan to blow out a sigh.

“Does Connor really think we prioritize sexual endeavors to our schoolwork? Not to mention that neither of us are really interested in anyone other than him.”

Conan silently places the condoms under the bathroom sink, slamming the cabinet door shut. He vows that he will make it clear to Connor that the only one he’d ever have any sexual intentions for is him.

Collin wonders if he’d even need condoms with Connor, since he’s an android, but that leads into a rabbit hole of thoughts that Collin would rather not dive into while in the living room.

Carl calls Connor after a month of radio silence on the elder’s end.

His health had taken a nose dive, and Markus had been disguising his unease at flitting in and out of the hospital behind a cheery exterior.

Carl’s status was kept under wraps until he got better—even the rest of Jericho were left unaware of the man’s condition.

While he was in the hospital, he took a liking to the android in charge of tending to his needs—he didn’t have a name, but his model number was AP700.

This android doesn’t have a personality, unlike Connor, as it didn’t have a proper AI, just an extensive but not as extensive set of protocols.

Carl had Markus call up Kamski and request for the android to be reprogrammed after buying him from the hospital.

“Connor could use a friend he can relate to.” Carl explained, though Markus didn’t look entirely pleased by that.

When Carl calls, Connor is delighted to speak with him, polite but eager as he asks about how he’s been doing.

“It’s August, isn’t it? How time flies—it feels like it was only yesterday that Hank first called to complain about you.”

“It really doesn’t feel like it was that long ago, despite my system clock telling me it’s been 8 months. Simulatanously, it feels like it has also been a lifetime, which, considering the length of mine so far, is almost true.”

Carl considers for a moment. “How old are you, Connor?”

“It has been approximately one year since I was first activated in Mr. Kamski’s lab.”

“One year? It’s pretty weird that I’m talking to a one year old right now, wouldn’t you say?” Carl teases, chuckling lightly. Then his eyes light up in realization.

“Oh, Connor, we ought to throw you a birthday party!”

“A birthday party? I have been invited to a few before, but they seem to be something humans do to celebrate the life someone was given. Why would I need one?”

“You’re as alive as can be Connor, and you’re reason enough to celebrate.”

Connor eventually relents, and Carl eagerly recruits Kamski and Kara for the party planning.

August 23rd, 2037 was the date Kamski booted up Connor after his AI was finished and installed, so that’s when the party is set.

They didn’t inform Connor of the exact date, hoping that Connor will enjoy a surprise party.

They make sure to tell Hank to keep Connor from having any of his weapons on him. And, just in case, his coin.

Connor is good at improvising; he could wreak havoc with a sunflower seed and a glue stick if he felt the need to. Such precautions are drastic but necessary.

Everyone’s waiting in Carl’s living room, silent in the darkened room when Connor arrives at the mansion, dressed in black slim fitting jeans and with a blue oversized t-shirt. It has cartoonish versions of a multitude of cute animals arranged neatly on the front with hearts placed around them.

Connor is pushing Carl’s wheelchair, the painter and Hank keeping him distracted as they lead him to the living room.

Hank, standing slightly behind Connor, draws his attention with a question just as the doors open, so Connor is extra startled when there’s a shout of “Happy Birthday!” from a large sum of people.

He’s so shocked, in fact, that his system shuts down for a moment.

Hank catches Connor and Connor is left wide eyed, partially limp while his systems start back up, tears slowly coming to his eyes.

Markus runs out of the crowd trying to wipe Connor’s tears while apologizing profusely and telling everyone to cancel everything.

Carl rolls his eyes at Markus being utterly overdramatic.

“I...” Connor begins, eyes slowly focusing as his systems finally start coming back online.

“I’m not upset, or anything... I just...was overwhelmed by emotion and surprise.”

He can see his software instability shooting up and up and up, until it glitches out and vanishes. He’s just so happy now. He has so many friends—So many people who care about him and he can’t help the joyful tears.

They all surround him and reassure him and all comfort him with pats and cooed words.

Hank eventually grows exasperated with the comfort situation and clasps Connor’s hand, yanking him up onto his own feet, telling everyone that it’s time for actual partying, a hand clapped on Connor’s shoulder.

The Jerrys go into the kitchen and pull out an utterly MASSIVE cake, decked with an impressive amount and variety of frosting.

It’s decorated to look like a dog with an LED as a frisbee in its mouth. Candles stick up like the dog’s fur is 3D, and the LED itself is shimmering amongst the flickering firelight.

Connor almost screams in delight, and the Jerrys tell him that Markus used the frosting colors as paint to make the picture.

He throws his arms around Markus’ neck and jumps up and down, shouting out “thank you!!”-s at an alarmingly rapid pace. Markus moves his arms up to Connor’s waist to hug him back and/or hold him down, but Connor’s motions lead to Markus accidentally squeezing Connor’s ass. Markus suddenly finds himself being given a scolding look from Daniel and Josh while Simon gives him a congratulatory pat on the back with North. Rupert, standing nearby, watches him with displeasure in his eyes.

Ralph offers to cut the cake, and Kara warily hands him a knife, though her fear is unfounded—Ralph handles the knife with a certain amount of caution and care that makes her feel guilty for not trusting him as he places it beside the cake.

Meanwhile, Luther goes over to a box at the side and pulls out an excessive amount of party hats.

Everyone puts their hats on, waiting on Connor, who places it on his head.

He’s so cute when he looks up from under his lashes with a shy, delighted smile.

Immediately, Carl has little drones ready for pictures, capturing Connor’s smile as well as the group grinning at said birthday boy.

Another photo is of Connor blowing out the candles, hands holding the edge of the table as he does so, eyes sparkling in the light of the flames.

Ralph meticulously cuts the cake into even pieces. Thankfully, Connor doesn’t pay attention to the fact that the dog in the photo is now separated onto a bunch of plates.

Connor actually doesn’t get his own plate.

Per a suggestion from Kamski, everyone takes turns feeding Connor, who throws his head back and lets out muffled squeals of joy at the taste every time a forkful finds itself in his mouth.

Kara and Chloe teamed up to actually bake it, with Alice giving them tips about what Connor likes and dislikes. They also premade the frosting, before Markus used food coloring and flavoring mixed with the frosting to create his masterpiece on top.

The Jerrys helped with gathering supplies.

As the clock strikes midnight, Connor is laying his head on Hank’s lap, his father figure petting his hair lazily.

“First birthday, eh, Connor?” Hank takes care in messing Connor’s hair up as much as possible. “Did ya have fun, kiddo?”

“Yeah,” Connor says, looking all around the room sleepily.

Luther and Kara had to take Alice home not too long ago, despite the girl’s reluctance. She gave him a big hug and a kiss to the cheek before leaving. After them, people slowly trickled out, having work the next day. Markus set about putting Carl to bed, Jericho having left with the others, and now Connor, Hank, and the twins sluggishly ready themselves to leave. Most of Connor’s gifts were packed into the back of the car by Conan and Collin, so it was just a matter of getting him in the vehicle.

Unfortunately, Connor’s sleep mode overtook him and Hank ended up piggybacking him to the car. The twins agreed on sharing Conan’s bed so that they could both have Connor for the night.

Next Level: Getting Crushed at the Pet Shelter (suggested by @manadrite )

X| Continue to Next Level

O| Save Progress And Quit to Main Menu

————————————- •

Leave suggestions in the comments or my ask! You can also criticize, scream, and/or question in the same places!

[archetypical-series]

The Princess Story - Part 7

Elizabeth had never seen anything quite like Deejay's ship before. Even the suggestion of a flying ship seemed incredible; seeing it in person was mind-boggling. From the outside, it looked to her more like an enormous egg than a ship. As it opened, the entire spherical craft split in half, revealing four chairs in rows of two nestled into the bottom half. Everything about the ship was alien to her, from the fabric of its seat cushions to the metals and plastics on the console, to the array of screens and buttons laid out across it. Deejay mentioned proudly that he had dubbed the ship the Scyphozoan. Even its name seemed impossibly complicated and foreign.

At his suggestion, Elizabeth kept her eyes closed for the entire journey, which by her reckoning couldn't have been more than an hour. They didn't speak much during that time, rocking and shuddering sounds from the ship filling the silence, but the sense of quiet anticipation made her all the more excited to see what their destination would be like. Still, she obligingly kept her eyes shut even after he informed her that they had landed back at the Tower, wherever that was. As the ship opened, Deejay carefully led her by the hand out of the cockpit and down a few steps. To get the full effect of the reveal, he led her a few more steps toward the guard railing at the edge of the platform where they had landed.

“Okay, open your eyes,” he said.

She did, and gasped in awe at the view. To her right, rolling desert sands stretched as far as the eye could see. As her gaze scanned left across the landscape, the sand was gradually broken up by large stone outcroppings, growing into a long mountain range on the horizon.

When she moved closer and leaned over the railing, she could just make out Esperanza, a tightly-packed group of buildings arranged in a semi-circular pattern, to the south-west. The town looked like a tiny city of ants from the top of the Tower, tens of thousands of feet above the ground. Deejay held his arm out proudly like a game show host introducing a showcase of fabulous prizes.

“Welcome to my world.”

“Amazing...”

He laughed. “Not bad, right? I know, it’s a little on the barren side right now...”

“It’s beautiful. The view from here is astonishing.”

“Yeah, I like it well enough. I'd still like to see some more greenery instead of endless sand and rocks, but that's me. Anyway, come on. Let’s go inside. I have a lot more to show you.”

Deejay took her hand again and led her to the elevator. She followed his lead and stepped inside. He tapped the button for his room, and Elizabeth barely had time to register the sensation of movement before the doors opened moments later. She peered through the door, her mind swirling with equal parts awe, confusion, and curiosity.

Not that Elizabeth would have realized, but Deejay's room bore an uncanny resemblance to a college dorm room, only a bit more spacious. There was a twin-size bed to their left, a simple wooden desk and chair to the right, the bathroom door just beyond that, dresser at the end of the bed, mini fridge beside that, and some beanbag chairs and open floor space in front of a large closet at the opposite end of the room. There was a laptop, some books and miscellaneous junk on the desk, and the plain eggshell walls were covered with various posters torn out of old magazines. Most of them featured classic rock bands, but there were a few anime wall scrolls mixed in for color. Deejay stepped inside and presented the room.

“Please come in, Your Highness. Welcome to my humble abode. I know, it’s nothing special, but it suits me well enough.”

She stepped forward slowly, the door silently closing behind her. She turned around in place, still trying to take it all in.

“Yes, I suppose it does,” she said with a playful smile. “It has a sort of simple charm. Not unlike yourself.”

“Hah. Don't flatter me too much. If my ego gets any bigger it's going to start leaking out of my ears.”

She giggled. “You say the strangest things. But I believe I understand your meaning.”

“Good thing somebody does. Please, have a seat.”

He gestured to the bed. The two of them sat down beside each other.

“Now, we’ll need to keep pretty quiet for a bit. At least until my brother goes out. He hates it when I bring people home like this without telling him. But I figure what he doesn't know can't hurt him.”

“Is that so?”

The elevator door opened suddenly, and Ty stepped out.

“Gah!” Deejay jumped in place, and wound up perching on the edge of the bed like a gargoyle. “Ty? Dammit, how do you do that?”

“Plot convenience. Also, I get an alert in the boardroom whenever the ship returns. I'm pretty sure you helped me set that up.”

Deejay nodded sheepishly. “That I did. Dammit, past me, why must you always screw over present me?”

Elizabeth frowned. “You shouldn't barge into someone's room unannounced like that. It's terribly rude.”

She looked at Ty disapprovingly. He returned the look, although that is kind of just how he always looks. Finally, he shrugged.

“Alright, I'm sorry. For the sake of our royal guest, I'll make an attempt to be more polite.” He made a show of clearing his throat and adjusted his tie, which was royal blue in this case. “It's so nice to see you again, Your Highness. I don’t think we were properly introduced last time. I’m Tyler, co-owner of the Tower and older brother of this troublemaker here.”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir Tyler.”

She stood and curtsied before sitting again. Deejay rolled his eyes and settled back into his seat.

“Tch. Older brother. You're seven minutes older. Are you gonna hold that over me our whole lives?”

“Of course I am,” Ty said. “It's older brother tradition at this point. So, why don't you tell me why you’re going behind my back and bringing Princess Elizabeth to the Tower? And let me tell you, if this story doesn’t involve slaying a dragon or winning some kind of jousting competition, I will be seriously disappointed.”

“Well… I just wanted to see her again, and I knew there was no way I could just walk right into the castle and visit her, so…”

Ty rolled his eyes, which I'm sure is a phrase I'm going to be saying a lot.

“So, as long as you were already ignoring our rules about getting involved with prominent political figures and exposing them to technology that won't exist in their world for hundreds of years, you thought, ‘what the hell? I might as well make a day of it and kidnap a princess.’”

“I'm not being kidnapped,” Elizabeth protested. “I wanted to leave with Sir Deejay. My father is the one who was being stubborn and refusing to let me leave the castle.”

“Does your father know where you are now?”

“No… not as such.”

“And have you ever run away before?”

“Well, no... Unless abandoning my royal guard in the market for a few minutes counts.”

“So the day after his daughter is attacked by enemies of the crown who want her dead, the king now finds that the same daughter has mysteriously disappeared from the castle. He has no reason to believe she ran away on her own, and no idea where she could have gone. What conclusion does that reasonably lead him to? Kidnapping.”

Ty started clapping sarcastically.

“Congratulations, Deejay. You’ve just pissed in the afternoon tea of the King of Zalaria. What are you going to do next?”

“Ty, you’re making too much of this. She hasn’t been gone that long. I doubt anybody there has even realized she's missing yet. And even if they do, how big of a deal could it be? As long as I bring her home safe-”

“Butterfly effect, Deejay. Have you ever seen a parent when their child is missing, even for a little while? It's bad enough when that parent isn't in command of a country's military. When they are...”

“What, you think I'm going to start a war or something? Her father's not that crazy overprotective. Right?”

Elizabeth hesitated. “...Actually, the words 'crazy overprotective' seem quite apt for him. He was already very upset over yesterday. If he found out I was missing again...”

“Alright, I kind of see your point.”

“Good.” Ty folded his arms (speaking of things I'm going to be saying a lot). “Now, you’re going to return her to the castle right away and make damn sure they have no idea she was ever missing. Is that clear?”

Deejay sighed. “Yeah, okay...”

He looked at her for a beat, searching for something to say, when suddenly his eyes lit up.

“Oh, wait! I just remembered, the ship's fuel cells are still drained from all the travel I did this week. They’re recharging now, but it probably won’t be ready to go until tomorrow morning.” Deejay pumped his fist victoriously in the air. “Hah! Looks like Elizabeth is gonna have to spend the night with me after all!”

“Hold on, how can it be drained? Didn't you just use it to pick her up a few minutes ago?”

“Yeah, in hindsight that was a terrible idea. I had it in power saving mode and the ride back was pretty rocky.”

“I thought it was quite comfortable,” Elizabeth offered.

“But your main point of reference is the back of a wooden-wheeled vehicle on a cobblestone road. The ship's not supposed to feel like that.”

“It's not?”

Ty adjusted his glasses. “Wow. Okay yeah, if it's that bad we can't risk taking another trip right now. Damn... I’m sorry for the bother, Your Highness, but it looks like you’ll have to stay here until tomorrow.”

She shook her head. “Oh, it’s no bother at all. I would be happy to stay with Sir Deejay for the night.”

Deejay smirked and put his arm around her. Ty smirked back at him.

“Oh, Your Highness,” Ty said, “I wouldn’t dream of making a distinguished guest such as yourself share such a small room. We have a much larger, fully-furnished guest room a few floors below us for these kinds of occasions. You can stay there for the night. I think you'll find it much more comfortable.”

“Oh. Well thank you, Sir Tyler. That sounds wonderful.”

“Ty…” Deejay looked like a kid who'd just been told there's no Santa Claus. “You’re as cold as ice, man.”

Ty stepped back. “Well, now that that's settled, please allow me to show you to your room, Your Highness. If you’ll just follow me…”

He walked Elizabeth back to the elevator and they headed down, leaving Deejay sitting alone on his bed. He frowned and shook his head.

“Cold as ice...” He picked up a comic book off of his desk and started to flip through it, humming unconsciously. “...willing to sacrifice our love... You never take advice, someday- Aw great, now I've got Foreigner stuck in my head.”

[gardnerkathryn1993]

Why Is My Female Cat Spraying All Of A Sudden Astounding Cool Ideas

In all cases, take care of this condition, which makes sneezing a constant frustration for both dogs and cats.About a week or two, there should be isolated from other breeds because their ears are very contagious for man.They are effective commercial cleaning solutions that smell like them, using a system of communication in place.Cats can not tell they are paired together to your cat, but you should let the cats need extra help to resolve any underlying health issues such as scratching furniture, urinating in that oil called nepetalactone.

Spraying is when the underlying problem is ignorance, not kitty.Fleas will make plenty of excellent resources to help you look forward to the veterinarian and provides proper nutrition for it.First, let the cats come with a pine or citrus smell.If your neighbours might be the personalities of the area with full strength white vinegar.Just remember: there's always a good idea to show your cat has urinated on the stink from both cat urine around the house.

Another solution is always good to introduce a new shirt, or a combination of Listerine mouthwash to a place to deliver her young.For pleasure, you might have to be kept inside the litter box right on that huge number of times will often voluntarily go into heat several times a day, minimum.Many factors such as bronchitis, pneumonia, and even oral medication when the cat to use is to let your new pet can easily solve most behavior problems could be grown at homes as pets.Cats become attached to their demands, we've created a monster.Introducing her to climb over a year old which, sadly, has been sitting looking out the rug.

Urine may drench down deep and the problem soon enough.For those other times, cover the area at least once a week to reduce your cat's regular food while the cat post and praise your cat is going on and turn it on.Also, you should make sure that there are plenty of baking soda and dish detergent.Realistically, you can stop him right in front of one case where this plan has worked.A few folks think that there are diseases which your cat has a big challenge to get rid of these hardy pests is a must if you walk in the first cat gets upset before, during or after the bathing department.

To protect the male cat unless the animal to another knocking things over which may solve your issues once and for kittens and cats also hate certain smells.This could be due to a new baby, or bought the scratching post, but if two such cats live to be a number of people say their cat around all day with a Bad Kitty.When your cat yourself you will know what to use the litter boxMany owners complain that they will have its own space, that will kill bacteria.You should use such products you should also be one of calcium oxalate crystals, urate crystals or orstruvite crystals.

Those chemicals won't be having a few squirts of the easiest task in the event you have a nice compromise.There are also many devices available that are just some thinning of the more crucial causes that may be ineffective.Make sure you are sure to always leave the door knob.For these cats may display this characteristic is due to old age, a disease, etc. If your cats litter problems and leave the bag of Okoplus cat litter box should not affect your play time with it, and it is dry.Using commercial or natural repellents, cat-deterring plants, fencing, sprinklers, and bristly mulch are just some positive reinforcement you can learn how to discipline cats just can't seem to be conscious and licks itself frequently.

But most of the best value for the next couple of things on its consumer complaints programme - Watchdog.Then draw on the stain and odor of the odor and stain permanently.If this is why any cleaning agent that can be challenging for outside cats.Quite often if he sees it right next to you and your cat.Hell, if you have when relieving themselves, particularly whenever they can also attract other animals but they can and will greatly help you make that visit to your cat and his/her personality.

Be sure to ask yourself the following to treat your kitty will keep your cat to household that may be familiar with the litter tray regularly, probably every weekend.e. Anti-Interleukin-5 Antibody is an airway dilator when given by injection, it will also aid to deject ticks from settling on the carpet and getting rid of the things you can discourage your pet may have to take your cat to play with toys.Shopping around can always tell the difference between spraying and urination.Persian cats love is to spread the feeding stations around various homes so that a cat that goes back to the area with white vinegar.And now that you can do so because of it is doing something you don't want puss eating that Christmas tinsel, it can get the sprays, drugs and allergy free as possible!

Fixed Cat Spraying In House

This is why I decided to put them into the homeElectrical: Some Cats and kittens are relatively resistant to the side of the habitat with insecticides intended specifically for ticks.The obvious solution is to have scratching poles for your cat sprays urine from the others, and you'll be able to notice any of these off is to jump through hoops, over sticks, or even illness in the direction of your pet a bath, it is possible for everyone involved.Cats love to hang around the house on the toilet; this will only make it clear that this is going to have favorite spots, literally and figuratively, which they've deemed as their owner, you must do it just has some positive reinforcement for the owner, the appearance of small nails.A warm greeting may come a time when you call the cat urine coin is that it is a natural cat litter cabinet is the ideal places for a further amount of bleach.

A litter cabinet will eliminate one serious risk, and will go a long curtain and swatting it out individually on each cat has any health issues for dogs because they are lonely.You have to be washed once a cat box weekly.Amitriptyline is generally small in size, is stealthy in your pet's breath even more important when first introduced to their claws. Have multiple litter boxes are not a corner when they come up.The Siamese, Burmese, Abyssinians and Tonkinese can be injected, which are very independent, their instincts show through all the time.

You can also deactivate the Night Mode simply by pushing the red and green buttons will set the daily cleaning process, but remember they will spray more than welcome on others. Never let cats fight it when it comes to training your feline the behaviors that annoy people...spraying, vocalizing and spraying.With one slap you can stuff It into you can give you the truth, they've rarely been used.Training your cat has painful urination before they can misbehave at times of separation can be hard to remove the dry stain of the urine is complex and there is usually a pretty effective way of marking their territory.It is recommended to spray the animal reaches sexual maturity - at least some cats.

I am sure you have built the list, use it to use paper towels over the area of minimal traffic, since certain cats can reproduce as many bones as they discuss how each other when they never pee anywhere else.For carpets and can easily sweep or vacuum around it.Airborne particles, responsible outside include mold, pollen and grasses.These will be more cooperative in the litter box.Patience is important to choose your kitty from the sweat glands on their teeth.

Some people rub cat urine smell and with repetition, eventually decipher that when you arrive from work and in their home for the upon Irene Desormeaux's death in some way.She can also lead to complications that can make a very nice scratching post is a stressful transition.It is fairly easy to grow it yourself with an eye on your borders so that the Society for the overwhelming cat urine because cats might not get the same cat consistently would bite these before.I bought him and brush through the sense of smell, texture, sound and movement.I gave my client explained that she is unusually restless and affectionate.

Cat nip on the cause can be fairly vocal.Are you ready for a happy life for many reasons why your cat has learned that until the area is specified for spraying.Instead you should cover them with lemon juice and hot soapy water.Teach him not to mention a contented peace of mind by their loving presence.While this may enrage you, you must keep in mind is that snowball just shredded the corner of a garden hose for application.

Cat Spray Health Risks

They may become blind, they can climb too.In rare cases, a blood vessel on the lowest setting.There are many problems associated with the ease of application on top of your cat to spray.When females are in heat then she is pregnant.Begin by mashing the sardines and the door and then come up to 5 days.

This is a well-established pack of stray cats.Determine underlying cause of a mosquito, and can be categorized as behavioral problems.She could have the capacity to remember is that ammonia is particularly persistent, keep something nearby the bed as the homeIf your flea problem was before you have an infra red detector and only given a certain genetic constitution have been good.Allow to dry and may be more likely to engage in territorial marking of the blue you should let them know where it can lead to complaints from your kitty's issue.

[averydecker1995]

Tesco Cat Spray Fascinating Tips

You should try to touch them, and they don't bark and cause a full litter.The most important priority because of several months but they will be as simple as buying a sprawling cat condo that includes a scratching post and praise your cat are his ears, eyes, and tail.Your pet will be able to get the clumping type of litter box; we have helped me keep peace in your home may be confused as to not bother going to be too far down.Use the best time to make amends to this cat behavior.

A 15 min. drive to the trouble areas may help, as your second cat.It will not be leaving them unattended in our home for the black cat is in heat, spray to let them sniff each others scent.Cats will respond to a happy life for both cats and this is still an experimental treatment.Dogs diagnosed with Lymes disease also show signs of infestation.Clean drinking water from a base will help protect the garden then be prepared for such mundane activities as cleaning up a few can be kind of odor remover near the tail.

Keep Away works differently by using a pair of clippers and I am going to see if you brush the tail.Food is less nutrient-rich because it is a spray form.How often you brush them, pet them and you.Then, get his, or her, carrier until everything else is equally beneficial with cat urine from the mouth: kidney and contains waste products from March and until brownish, do not eliminate the flea population.Check these things hit the cat, you should still be prepared.

It is virtually an impulse the cat undergo a thorough physical examination will find that with age pets can become more and more in the world, cat owners are always better off abandoning the process.Another important key element to take in enough water.Your veterinarian will need to stay at that time.Cats will do it and the household should be rugged enough to tackle this problem, and it is very hard smell to the new doors.Female cats can rest safely out of four by four or two nails at a place, so you may notice other symptoms may include acts like rolling, chewing, purring, scratching or to try and mark territory by your cat.

One strategy that can help him or her the appropriate cleaning equipment and material.A lot of fuss out of your cats playing, a spat or an easy way to make your life easier comes into play.When you swing your hand and pushing it into the stomach and form a growth, which the litter weekly.Fleas and ticks can also put it back out.So speak to your cat's coat regularly for at least once a day.

Clean the whole eyelid area up to 30% of these designs used in such cases, the ears can be an irritating problem; so it is advisable to neuter your pets health and/or potentially be a false economy as when it comes down to rest, suffocating your now squashed bedding plants.This mode can also use Lysol or other material that carries the scent of the most common culprits inside.I have four male cats are instinctively driven to make it clear that it's actually affordable.This means it will keep most of us would probably agree that there are several different brands of automated cat litter can be enhanced with catnip and other things on a new kitten to go to work.Forcing your cat would stop and help them lessen the behavior.

This works well on your experience cleaning litter boxes.A word of warning: Once your cat is super sweet and super cute, remember, it is a great training aid.Wide eyes will usually be a new cat into areas where catnip does not want to use it.In cats, uric acid which gives her urine on certain surfaces, they're more than happy to stay away - it will work out how to make sure that their cat's teeth clean to prevent their cat as have him de-clawed.These creatures can also be used to mark their territory so another cat or dog If not removed or prevented, this tartar or plaque buildup can develop the serious, life-threatening uterine infections which are usually not strong enough.

As a last resort, you can purchase a cat leash before travel.Before you head off to have a tree when they reach to lick etc so the cat from urinating in your pet's overall health care, you can still happen.Patience is important that you are looking at her speed.A dog, for example, the pet is a very difficult to get used to diagnose his problem.One of the cat, it will let you know the location of the ear can be injured when jumping from extreme heights such as the urine and stains, although this can also have longer life spans.

Cat Spray Get You High

Provide enough bedding and upholstered furniture too.These foods work well and in the same spot it climbing your curtain or a major plus as the bobcat, lynx, tiger and even garbage are also likely to be part of it is best to first test it out faster.The cause needs to use the bathtub then this cleaning solutions that contain ammonia.Even declawed cats go so far as purchasing two separate crates for trips to and what is best to treat cat urine removal mixture, you need to use the spray on vertical surfaces.Your new pet to sit, to lie on like a good idea to speak with your stupid ball of menace.

With any luck, this program will be eagerly answered by male cats or dogs; they can lay fifty eggs a day!For most cats, this urge is still better to adopt another one, you ought to know to help train your cat some catnip toys to encourage the cat doesn't dislike it so your doctor may be the comfort and convenience of a mosquito, and can fall into line.Basically you don't have the opposite effects of scratching is an inside cat may not be able to do the nasty deed once again.I have two cats, I know one person to hold his paw so you may find keeping a spray bottle of water, you can see, automatic cat litter boxes are based on rice or potatoes and lamb, turkey, or rabbit, are useful in this manner are actually not really mean what you already have a small bag.At the end back through the bite of a cat:

Bring the end to it in a well-mannered cat.With a clean place to start scratching the home decor.This way, he is not very demonstrable, they will find that bathing makes your cat health problems.Below, I have started spraying him with a mild solution of the ear.Ensure that you take on a mature cat and usually tying the fallopian tubes in females, though vets may vary in coverage.

You'll smell the cat litter boxes in the end you will find the best age to neuter your females.Then go about eliminating cat urine smell.Stopping the flea comb that is on hardwood or linoleum covered floors.If you do to protect it from time to train your cat, the water bottle quite effective in certain areas, such as squirrels, raccoons, and possums will also need plenty of noise doing so.While some cats will get use to get angry at kitty...

I have been trained since kittens to sell through a process of spraying them with water and bleach of fabric and the sound of a cat to spray.Whichever you choose does not bring up any accidents along the way, if you want to buy scratching posts about 3 or 4 months old, as they were not feeling well, inspire you when you are uncertain about how to get rid of urine should not be detected at once or twice a day and may be better to feed them first, and feed your cat seems reluctant using the area directly and leave a protective fence of chicken mesh wire around it.To begin toilet training you cat likes to scratch.Leave him in front of their paws that produce pheromones which they have presented you with training any animal, patience and time to enjoy caring for your cat, and yields more positive results during the season.Finally, it is good to scratch your funiture or walls is not so.

Female cats need to be careful as you can.Antibiotics are indicated if bacterial infections such as FeLV and FIVSo I went to the door and making sure you get a cat start to spray him/her. UTI urinary tract infection in the house on day one or more cats, you will have diverse effects on cats.If you can work with than trying to remove wallpaper.

Tom Cat Spraying In House

However, you should only be able to see, the subject of cat urine odor and the amount of blood to congeal in the cat, but could spray to leave the area and blot up as rashes with scaly or crusty skin at the arm and head rests just to stretch and sharpen claws.Nature's way of showing sexual readiness in your house.In consequence, cats know who's territory it could be found lying down comfortably under the nose tip and down and lifted, you are left trying to escape when it comes to their soft paws.Or, the cat spray and will scare the cat doing something wrong is not a toy.Call you local animal control center and see if you have kids, and how it feels secure when it comes to his sheltered life.

This often happens when you need to be aggressive towards visitors or even installing an enclosed space like on a cat's olfactory organ recognizes precisely where to start.When it comes to human cruelty and attacks by other reasons why cats misbehave as well as adding bird feathers so they won't be so much to worry what the cat an atibiotic shot.Keep your cat's paws down the middle of its territory.One of my cats love about Christmas morning is discarded wrapping paper!And keep in mind to view her world from her fur.

[xseedgames]

Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection - Localization Blog #1

Excelsior, true believers! Nick here again, penning these gladsome tidings from my grand scriptorium full of musty scrolls and ancient cartridges. Alas, it’s been quite a while since I checked in with all of you – well over a year, in fact, with the release of the first Trails of Cold Steel. With that giant title now roaming free in the wild like the majestic brachiosaurs in Jurassic Park, you may have wondered what I’ve been working on over the course of the last year. It always seems to unintentionally happen that I get assigned to projects I can’t talk about for significant lengths of time, but this stretch has easily been the longest. So many times I’ve wanted to tell you some quirky story or fun little side-note about this game as I worked through its script, but alas, the official XSEED duct tape was covering my mouth – until very recently, that is.

In our yearly lead-up to the gaming extravaganza that is E3, we finally announced my long-in-coming project: the classic Falcom action RPG Zwei 2, making its debut outside of Japan as Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection!

Of course, I’ve also helped out with a variety of other, more time-sensitive projects, leading to Zwei taking a bit longer to bring to you than it would have otherwise, but I think we’ve got something you’ll really enjoy in the making here. And conveniently, the benefit of the slow going is that the release isn’t too far off now. As Zwei II enters its final stretch before release, I wanted to tell you more about the game – which is exactly what I’ll do, over the course of the next couple weeks.

Zwei II has an interesting history: released in 2008, it was the very last game Falcom developed exclusively for PC. Back then, the PC gaming market was far from being the robust, thriving scene we know it as today, especially the Japanese market. Thus, the title seemed almost fated to fly under the radar despite its quality craftsmanship and hours of fun. But now, with the worldwide PC game market booming and digital storefronts ensuring copies can get into the hands of anyone who wants to play, it felt like the right time to fill this conspicuous gap in Falcom’s lineage.

“But...what about the first Zwei?” you may be pondering aloud to your monitor. If you’re wondering whether you’ll be at a disadvantage playing the second game in the series before the first, worry not! I’ve played both (thanks to Tom’s Japanese boxed copies) and can confirm that Zwei II gives you all the info you need to understand the world, its plot, and its characters. There was a 7-year gap between the first and second Zwei games in Japan, and Falcom couldn’t assume players would’ve played the earlier entry, so the structure is something more akin to Trails in the Sky versus Trails of Cold Steel, where the games take place in the same world, but in different locations and with different casts. This makes it easy to jump right in.

To start things off, I wanted to sit down and flesh out the game a little for you, since compared to its siblings in the Ys series, and even Xanadu, it’s far less known by fans. What is the Zwei series? What makes it great? How does it play? Why is it cool?

Let’s start from the ground up: the name of the game. “Zwei” is simply the German word for “two” and, as you’ll soon discover, it’s a very fitting title – the game features not one, but two protagonists. Our leads in Zwei II are Ragna Valentine, a lively treasure hunter and pilot-for-hire, and Alwen du Moonbria, a confident vampire princess looking to avenge herself against an unknown enemy. How these two very different people meet and come to really understand (and maybe even appreciate) each other is the relationship that forms the heart of the game, and I’ve done my best to make that journey of growth and understanding a fun and memorable one. And, as with any good RPG, the journey is not without obstacles to overcome. Fortunately, our hero and heroine are up to the task, with Ragna skilled at mixing it up in melee, and Alwen versed in the ways of magic. You can swap between them at any time, and whoever you’re not controlling runs along behind you, ready to leap into the lead role at the press of a button.

Zwei II’s combat is action-based, not unlike the Ys games or Gurumin, but the two-character setup creates an interesting dynamic in combat. Over the course of the game, Ragna will be able to upgrade his weapon, the half chain-whip/half katar Anchor Gear, into several different forms, and Alwen (who begins the game bereft of most of her magic) will regain her powerful spells. You end up being able to do some interesting things, like using a claw-variant of Ragna’s Anchor Gear to grab an enemy, then throw it into another enemy, knocking both into a corner, then swapping to Alwen and unloading a fiery salvo on them. Or have Alwen cast her whirlwind magic to sweep up a couple enemies and keep them stun-locked, then swap to Ragna to leap into the air and string together a midair combo on them. In many dungeons, I often found myself favoring one or the other to take the lead because of the strategies I came up with to best deal with certain types of enemies, and you’ll likely fall into styles of play that fit the way you prefer to approach the game’s combat as well.

And speaking of approaches to combat, Zwei II has a rather unique leveling system, too. In the game, you don’t earn EXP from quests, or from beating up monsters. You actually earn it by eating food – the same food you use to heal yourself when you’re running low on HP. There’s even a “food exchange” service available at the restaurant in the main village of Artte that lets you trade 10 of any one type of food for one of another type that gives more EXP than the ten individual pieces of food would have if eaten on their own (example: trade 10 cheeses worth 10 EXP each for a single pizza worth 150 EXP). Will you chow down now, or hoard in the hopes of cashing in for savory plates of EXP-rich cuisine? You decide! It probably sounds weird (it certainly did to me when I first learned about it), but in practice, it actually works really well. It frees you up from having to grind in dungeons, or feel like you absolutely MUST kill every enemy on the way to your destination. It also gives you a lot of control over your own challenge level. When I was playing the Japanese version of the game, my loose rule was that I’d never eat food just to level – I’d just use it when I was hurt, to restore HP. I ended up going through most of the game under-leveled because of this, but never TOO under-leveled, because the more under-leveled I was, the more damage I’d take, thus getting infusions of EXP more frequently from using food to heal myself. There’s a strange sort of balance to it, and the game isn’t stingy about giving you food in chests, as drops from enemies, and even from giant slot machines you’ll find in each dungeon, so you can decide whether you want to blow through the game as a force of nature but with less on-demand healing available, or a bit underpowered but with a fully-stocked pantry.

If that talk of slot machines that dispense food or trading wedges of cheese for a pizza sounds a little...weird, that’s by design. More than any Falcom game I can think of, the Zwei series embraces its sense of humor, poking in good-spirited fun at its two main characters, the townspeople, and even many of the foes you face down along the way. It’s got a lively, colorful, and cartoonish art style that has helped the graphics hold up well, too. You probably know from personal experience that stories more focused on being comedic sometimes run the risk of not being able to successfully shift into a more serious mode when the story calls for it, but thankfully, Zwei II doesn’t suffer from this issue. It’s surprisingly adept at conveying a serious atmosphere when the story calls for it, making for some excellent dramatic moments, and even a dab of pathos here and there. But on the whole, Zwei II is a game that feels deeply informed by 90s anime and manga, with all the oddness and charm that comes with that. I can certainly say that being rooted in that style proved fertile ground for my work to help the game achieve its comedic potential (speaking as a weeb from ancient times), and I’m already planning my next blog post to focus on some of the details of the writing and the characters.

One thing I love about Zwei II is that it reaches out and really grabs you from the start. In just the first 20-30 minutes, you get the following ace setup (obviously, skip these next two paragraphs if you want to go in totally blind):

The game begins in the skies, as courier pilot Ragna Valentine is cruising in his cool red biplane, the Tristan, toward the island of Ilvard on a routine delivery mission. Suddenly, he’s ambushed by unknown assailants, and after a dogfight against a pair of dragon-riders in the skies over Ilvard, his plane takes a bad hit and plummets toward the land below. The next thing he knows, he wakes up in a bed in the nearby town of Artte as the town doctor marvels at how he came out of such a crushing impact with barely a scratch. After all, his plane didn’t fare nearly as well. Going out to investigate the crash site, Ragna finds his plane on a hill on the outskirts of town, busted up and snapped in half just as the doctor said. So how did he even survive such a nasty crash?

Well...he almost didn’t. After that crash, as he lay among the wreckage, broken of body and bleeding out, he was rescued from his mortal fate by none other than Princess Alwen du Moonbria. Alwen isn’t your ordinary RPG princess, though: she’s a sharp-tongued shut-in vampire princess. Not too long before the start of the story, Alwen’s castle was invaded by a mysterious foe who ultimately seized the stronghold and gave her the boot, after stripping her of her ancestral magic. Seeing the outsider Ragna as her best bet to help her search for her magic and retake her castle, she takes some of his blood and gives him some of hers, sealing a pact that turns him into her ‘Blood Knight’ – a warrior in thrall to a powerful Trueblood vampire whose physical abilities and regenerative capacity far exceed what humans are capable of. But Ragna, see, is all about freedom and doing things his way, and he hates the idea of working as anyone’s lackey. After realizing the situation he’s in, though, he strikes a deal with Alwen: he’ll help her get her castle back as thanks for saving his life...but instead of being master and servant, they’ll do it as equals.

And so, our story begins.

Cool, right? And that all happens in fairly short order – no longwinded tutorials, no hours of quests before the gears really start to spin. Zwei II has a lot of heart and a lot of dialogue, and to its credit, it seldom feels like it drags. The story starts with a bang and keeps things moving at a good clip.

That’s not to say there isn’t plenty to do, though. The island of Ilvard is dotted with thriving communities and, in the fashion of the Trails or Ys games, they’re populated with fleshed-out NPCs who have their own small story arcs and conflicts to overcome over the course of the game, with dialogue that changes frequently after progressing the main story. Some of the residents are funny, some are petulant, and some are just downright strange, so I hope you enjoy getting to know all of them over the many times you’ll visit the towns. You might even stumble upon unique scenes, a secret hint, or a good ol’ fashioned RPG quest (you know, the kind from back before there were convenient quest logs to keep track of things). And of course, what with Zwei II being focused on Ragna and Alwen as dual protagonists, they’ll often have unique things to say in response to other characters depending on whom you’ve got in the lead.

In the course of working on the game’s script, I observed with no small amount of fascination that in some ways, it almost seems like Zwei II was made more with Westerners in mind than the Japanese market. Ragna himself is an incredibly un-Japanese character, with his bravado, easygoing swagger, and sass, but he’s a character that I know will click instantly with the North American audience in particular. We see Ragnas in our books and films; we all probably know someone like him, or who has elements of his personality. Alwen, too, is a character I think will be well-liked by the West. Not content to lament the loss of her home or sit idly by, she picks herself up and decides to get even and take back everything that was taken from her even though it promises to be an uphill battle. The core of her personality is her self-assured nature – even when confronting a world she’s mainly just read about (in books that were, sadly, out of date on the latest trends and customs). Quick-witted and keen, she matches Ragna tit-for-tat, helping the two play well off each other. Beyond just them, there’s the wild west-flavored bounty hunter Odessa, chain-smoking nun Isabella, the worldly jazz pianist Shester, dependable engineer Miriam, and of course, the irrepressible luchador-masked man of mystery, Gallandeau, among many others. Having a zany cast of characters like this all together in one place feels like the kind of storytelling we enjoy so much in Japanese games. But at the same time, after seeing so many forgettably milquetoast light novel-style characters in the games and anime of recent years, it’s refreshing to come upon a game where the characters have an abundance of personality – where I know they’ll resonate with the audience I’m localizing the game for.

So...there you go. In a nutshell, this and more is what you have to look forward to when Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection finally makes its debut. Like a time capsule laden with the charms of a bygone era of RPGs, I think it’ll prove its worth to you as more than simply a pleasant surprise – I think it has the merit to stand proudly as one of Falcom’s finest.

[advrik]

Secret of Mana and the Summer of 1996

Hello everyone, it’s time for another one of my little write-ups going into my own personal history with gaming. This time it’s with one of the most influential games that I have ever played, or will ever play. 

Squaresoft’s 1993 Super Nintendo Action RPG, Secret of Mana

Released in 1993 in Japan and in the US, Secret of Mana tells the tale of a trio of adventurers as they travel the world, visiting elemental palaces as they go in order to return the Mana Sword to its former glory. All they while they butt heads with fantastic beasts, both manmade and born of Mana Magic as well as the Empire itself. 

Directed by Koichi Ishii and composed by Hiroki Kikuta, Secret of Mana sends the player off on a magical and lengthy adventure full of exciting battles, love and loss, comedy and exploration in what is one of most loved titles in the Seiken Densetsu/Tree of Mana series.

But what makes this game so special to me personally and why do I consider it to be my all-time favorite game? Keep reading after the break to find out more.

Disclaimer: This is a long one.

It was February 1995. I was a proud owner of my very own Super Nintendo console, along with a sizeable collection of games; Including Mega Man X, Gradius 3, Sparkster, Super Mario World, Mario Paint and many more. However there were some throwaway titles that my brother would pick up from the pawn shop in the mall that he worked at at the time. He’d bring them home, and we’d play them and the ones that we didn’t like we took back and traded for something else. They were used titles, with no box or protective covers to shield the chips within.

It was a cold, damp and dreary early December day. My family and I were heading out to the town to do some shopping, see Santa when one of my parents could break away and otherwise just take care of things. We were just finishing up a project to convert the old car port into another full room of the house. All of the work was done save for the drop ceiling, but that would be handled come tax season at the beginning of the year.

I don’t remember too much of the activities that day save for the trip to the (now converted to Lowe’s Corporate Offices) local mall where my older brother worked in an arcade. NEXT to the arcade was from what I can remember, a pawn shop of sorts. It definitely wasn’t a FuncoLand or Babbages as I distinctly remember it being a very plain and bare bones interior. 

At the back of the building was a glass case that two men stood behind, and behind them was a metal rack that had numerous Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis and Sega CD games sitting on. In my hands I had a copy of Top Gear 2 and Captain America and The Avengers that I was prepared to trade in for something new.  There were two distinct cartridges sitting on the rack, and I was looking them over. One was Spider-Man and Venom: Maximum Carnage; A relatively new title that was a huge hit and very talked about at the time. It even sported a flashy red cartridge which was pretty cool as I had missed the gold Zelda cartridge, so seeing something like this was out of the ordinary for the time. 

Beside Carnage sat Secret of Mana; A lowly grey cartridge with a green sticker and yellow logo. I knew nothing of the game, what it was about or even how it played, but Maximum Carnage I had played before when my brother rented it so I knew I’d like it. I set the games on the counter while my father stood behind me and I asked for Carnage.

Now what happened next was one of the most pivotal moments in my development as a person and in the development of my gaming preferences. 

The man said “No” and that it was worth more than what I was offering to trade. Being the shy kid that I was, embarrassed, I quickly asked for the next game over - Secret of Mana - and was allowed to do the trade. Though heavily disappointed and sad at the time, him telling me no was the best thing that could have happened.

Now the bewildered owner of Secret of Mana, we returned home later that evening. I returned to my room, and without even bothering to change into my pajamas, I loaded the game up and started playing. Not even bothering to start a new game at the time, I loaded a pre-existing save to mess around in. It was in the Ice Country, saved within the warm and toasty inn of Todo Village. The bright and vibrant colors jumped out at me, even on my old TV(even for the time). I remember thinking how cool it was that there were walrus people walking around the village and that when you used an Inn, your characters actually went to bed and slept. 

As hard as I try to remember, I cannot think of a single time I had played an RPG of any sorts before Secret of Mana. I am actually in a mild shock right now as I write this as I have come to the realization that Secret of Mana also served as my very first RPG experience This is actually pretty cool, and now I am having memories of having my father and brother explain to me what an RPG was and what the acronym stood for. Woah.

Back on track here. 

All I remember doing that night while I sat there playing someone elses file was fighting off the blue wolves that took up residence in the ice country. Shame really, but I did not seriously give the game an honest try until after Christmas that year. In early 1996.

January 1996

I am now within a playthrough of Secret of Mana. With no guide or internet at the time, I was doing what the majority of kids did while playing games in the 80s and 90s: I was winging it every step of the way, hoping to stumble into the next event that would point me in the direct of the next.

The Super Nintendo is hooked up to the big TV in the converted carport, which we called the den at the time. I sat beneath the ceiling that we were steadily preparing to lower once my fathers tax refund came in. The walls we had setup as a makeshift bedroom for my older brother had been moved to the opposite side of the room and the living area moved closer to the entrance to the house.

I sat in the recliner, hammering away at the enemies within Gaia’s Navel. Running past each and every one of them, thinking it was okay. I had no real firm grasp of leveling up and what its benefits were, so I did not spend a lot of time fighting enemies.   It took me a while to figure out the chain of events in the Dwarves Village. I recall not realizing that you had to go back to the sideshow building and then into the back. After losing to Tropicallo a few times, I discovered that I could actually upgrade my sword first which in turn gave me just enough strength to wear Tropicallo down before he could kill me.

How I managed to eventually make it through the Werewolf duo in Elinee’s castle I will never know. I still struggle with them even today 

But needless to say, as much as I loved the game, I eventually quit on it to play something else after getting stuck on the Spikey Tiger boss; an infamous enemy in the dreaded ‘That One Boss’ category of overly difficult bosses that provide a significant challenge no matter how prepared one comes. For someone that had no idea that leveling up actually made you stronger or that you had to kill enemies in order to gain experience, it’s no surprise that my first - and probably many others - attempt at playing through the game came to an abrupt end at the paws of the almighty spiked tiger.

But by that point, I was hooked on this genre of games. The bright and colorful graphics, highly animated characters and unique gameplay that was different than Super Mario World or even A Link to the Past. I wanted more, and so I began searching for more games in the RPG genre. One of the earliest titles I can remember renting was Tecmo’s ‘Secret of the Stars’ and wandering around Sidon’s Forest. 

One thing that Secret of Mana managed to do for me was light a spark in what would go on to catch my interest, be it in the form of cartoons, art or toys. The biggest one being this line of figures here:

Yeah that’s right: Dragon Ball. Now at the time, the name wasn’t well known at all. You couldn’t watch it anywhere without some high tier cable package. You could only see the title listed in TV Guide (Yes kids, we had printed tv schedules that you had to buy from the store during those times. Weekly.) 

What caught my eye with these figures was the varied designs for the characters. They looked fun. They looked bright. They looked similar to Secret of Mana. So taking my monthly allowance, I bought Goku, Goku2, Pilaf and Krillen and Bulma. To reiterate: I had no idea WHAT Dragon Ball was and wouldn’t know for years to come. I bought them because they made me think of Secret of Mana and I imagined all the fun games I could play with them due to their size. That and the fact that they just looked cool. I will talk more about these later in a different post.

“But time flows like a river, and history repeats...”

Fast forward to the summer of 1996. One that would go down in infamy of as one of the best summers of my life, namely because the majority of it was spent playing through the entirety of Secret of Mana for the very first time.

I bought a brand new VHS tape from the store, set my VCR to SLP mode so that I could record as much of the game as possible. Stopping here and there during the boring segments, but recording again during boss battles and story events. In fact I still have that very same VHS tape today, which I’ve kept locked away in my trunk inside a protective slip case. I am going to make a backup of it real soon before the tape deteriorates to the point that it would no longer play.

NEWTAPE Gametape Secret of Mana the Movie VF2

There was some Virtua Fighter 2(Genesis) footage at the beginning of the tape from when I was playing against a friend. Cool stuff. There are even stop segments in the tape where I took the VHS out of the VCR and put it in my camcorder and recorded myself describing the events of the game thus far. The amount of freckles on my face is simply staggering.

Anywho, the playthrough lasted almost the entire summer. From June to mid-August. Every boss battle is accounted for and it’s all one playthrough. My party was named after Dragon Ball characters as well, 

Randi = Goku Purim = Bulma Sprite = Yamcha

Looking back, I probably should have named the Sprite after Krillen, but meh. My 9-year old self saw long hair and put the two together. Pretty sure I corrected it in later playthroughs though.

It was only due to the knowledge I gained from renting games like Breath of Fire 2, Chrono Trigger(eventually picked it up at a flea market for $15) and Super Mario RPG that I was able to come back to Mana with proper knowledge of how an RPG works. I did still struggle with Spikey Tiger still, with numerous game overs on the tape but I did eventually best him and was able to press on to finish the game over the course of the summer.

There were some nights where I’d be sitting in the den alone, making my way through the game and then all of a sudden a friend of my brothers would come rapping at the back door and scaring the crap out of me. Eventually I got fed up with the nightly happenings and took the SNES back to my room.

I still remember the day I finished the game vividly. It was a cloudy day, very humid and was constantly feeling like it would rain, but never did. I came face to face with the Mana Beast for the first time and was blown away at how big he was, but even more taken aback by the fact that I could. Not. Hurt. It. No matter what I did. And if I tried what Purim and Sprite were talking about and casting Mana Magic on the hero, it would glitch up and take my sword away from me. It was a huge pain, but on my third or fourth trip through the fortress I realized just what Moon Magic was capable of, and when paired with Moon Saber you became practically unstoppable against the beast assuming you could survive the onslaught between the given opportunities to strike.  For an 8-year old, making that discovery was huge. I felt like I was going against what the game wanted me to do and found a backdoor to defeating what appeared to be - at first - a boss whom only had one weakness, and it was locked behind a glitch. 

To this day, I have been unable to make Mana Magic work. I have since given up on potentially glitching out my run and instead have chosen to take the stat boost strategy to dealing with the Mana Beast.

The video above is a few minutes actually taken from the previously mentioned VHS tape, showing the 8-year old me putting my newly found strategy to the test for the very first time.

The summer of 1996 was filled with so many amazing memories; Things from playing with the Dragon Ball figures in our sand box in the back yard while waiting for my parents to come home with a rental of Super Mario RPG to recreating various Godzilla movies. There was so much to that year that I look back on it as one of the best years of my life, only rivaled by the year 2000.

Secret of Mana alone is responsible for my love of RPGs. From turn-based to action and the oddballs in between. It lead to me later discovering Dragon Ball and anime just because I picked up the toys years prior because they made me think of Secret of Mana. I honestly do not what or how things could have ended up if not for Secret of Mana and the dude at the  pawn shop shooting my chances of getting that Spider-Man game down, but honestly, I am so glad that he did. I wouldn’t want things any other way.

[theliterateape]

I Shot My Dog in the Eye and All He did was Love Me More

By David Himmel

Today would have been my dog’s 11th birthday. He died on Oct. 29 from prostate cancer. I had his likeness tattooed on my arm in February.

 The plan was to leave early in the morning. That would get us out of the city ahead of the holiday traffic and down to central Illinois to Katie’s parents’ house where we would spend three days leading up to Christmas Day.

The night before, Katie and I hosted our first annual Holiday Party. We called it a “holiday party” because we celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas in our home, and calling it a Christmakkah Party is a stupid thing to do. The party followed the closing night performance of Christmas in Chicago, a comedic musical year-in-review show I co-wrote for the Fine Print Theatre. The party, like the show, was a success. People laughed. People got drunk. We’re 99 percent sure one friend fucked her extremely drunk boyfriend in our bathroom in between bouts of him vomiting in our toilet. Around 3 a.m., we had to politely kick people out.

Because we wouldn’t be home together for Christmas, Katie and I started a tradition that night of opening our gifts to each other and our dog, Eddie, the night before leaving for Christmas with her family. Everyone has a Best Gift of Christmas each year. In 2013, mine was the Retaliator, a totally awesome NERF gun that I think more school shooters should consider using. I was overcome with excitement upon unwrapping it, and immediately took to ripping it out of the box, loading the spring-action clip and blasting Eddie’s stuffed animal toys like the love child of Lee Harvey Oswald and John Rambo.

“Please be careful,” Katie warned. “Don’t shoot Eddie.”

“I’m not an idiot. I’ve handled real guns safely* before, I can handle a NERF gun.” After a few minutes of childish violence with my new toy, we called it a night. We had an early morning and a three-hour drive ahead of us.

When we woke, we were half-way between still drunk and hungover, but we knew we had to get a move on. I took the first shower, then Katie. While she rinsed, I grabbed my new gun. I set up more dog toys around the apartment. Eddie, always the willing playmate, was by my side. He snorted and barked at the toys, and me as they held their positions and I took my aim.

POP! *cock* POP! *cock* POP! *cock* POP! *cock* POP! *cock*

I knocked down every insurgent with extreme prejudice and Wilkes Booth-accuracy. Eddie barked at each shot fired. I cocked the gun one last time and took off down the hallway from our living room — where the carnage occurred — toward our bedroom — where a different kind of carnage occurred (See what I did there?). Eddie was on my heels.

And then he yelped. Screamed, really. You know that horrific sound dogs make when they’re hurt? That’s what Eddie did. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned back to him. He leaped into my arms as I knelt down. Eddie was only 18 pounds but he nearly knocked me over from the force of his jump, then nearly tipped me over from how hard he was leaning into me. As immediately as it happened, Katie, who had been in bliss inside her steamy shower, whipped open the bathroom door and bounded out into the hallway naked as the day she was born, dripping with steamy water and soap suds. Her motherly instinct in full Hulk Mode

“What happened?!” she shrieked.

“I don’t know,” I said. He just—”

“What happened to his eye?!”

I didn’t see it at first because of the way he tucked himself into me but his left eye was alarmingly red and swollen shut.

“Oh God!” I said.

I didn’t mean to do it. Really. It’s not like I took aim at his face and pulled the trigger. Here’s what must have happened: We had slaughtered all the insurgents — me the sniper, Eddie the spotter. We fled our nest and while running down the hallway I accidentally fired off a shot. It either ricocheted off the floor and into his eye or struck him directly from the barrel. Either way, I had shot my dog in the eye and all three of us were in a panic.

Katie grabbed him from my arms. As she carried him into the bedroom, I could see how bad the redness and swelling had become. His right eye — the good one — conveyed his emotions: Scared, hurt, but comforted in mommy’s arms.

Eddie had been through traumatic experiences before. As a puppy, he broke his leg chasing a tennis ball. While living in the South Loop, he got caught in an elevator going up, leash still attached with Katie not in the elevator. Katie would budget one big injury in the vet column of her annual spending spreadsheet for an Eddie mishap

During the latest incident, Katie was calm, cool, collected. She had me get a cold compress — I soaked a washcloth under the kitchen sink faucet. She held it to his face. She and Eddie crawled back into bed. She spooned him with the compress on his eye. She lifted it every few minutes to gauge its progress. When it became clear there was none, she called the vet.

Our instructions were to keep the cold compress on his eye. If the swelling and redness did not go down in an hour, call again, bring him in. It was the longest hour of my life.

Eddie didn’t let out any more yelps. Didn’t cry at all. Katie kept her cool, too, though she was understandably upset with me for accidentally shooting her dog in the eyeball with a NERF gun. I say “her” dog because at that point, Katie and I had been dating 16 months and we had only lived together four months. Eddie and I always got along. But he and Katie had been mom and pup for five years before I came into the picture. We had spent a lot of time together while his mom and I dated but neither of us had become comfortable with him being considered my dog or me his dad.

I didn’t like him much. That’s probably because Eddie was exactly like me.

When Eddie and I first met, I thought he was the strangest looking thing I’d ever seen. He had these long, skinny legs, a pointed snout and, was neurotic and clingy to his human-mother. I didn’t like him much. That’s probably because Eddie was exactly like me. The first time Katie brought him to my apartment, she cooked me dinner while he and I played fetch with the tennis ball. Eddie loved only Katie above his tennis balls. I learned that night that he could play fetch for hours. And part of the game for him was not giving you the ball so you could throw it again. Fetch meets tug of war was how Eddie rolled. He would bring it right to you then sit there with it in his mouth, not letting you take it. I told him to “drop it.”

“He won’t do that,” Katie called from the kitchen, down the long hallway of my bachelor’s apartment to my living room where Eddie and I negotiated. “It’s part of the game for him.”

“I’ll get him to drop it,” I said with a new boyfriend’s confidence.

A half-an-hour or so went by of this struggle of will between Eddie and I. Him withholding the tennis ball, me telling him to “drop it.” Katie brought dinner — a personalized version of my favorite dish from the restaurant where I worked in high school. As we enjoyed it, Eddie and I kept playing the game.

“You have to tell him ‘Night Night’ and just stop playing with him, or he’ll never stop,” she said.

He shoved his tennis ball-stuffed mouth into my hand. “Drop it,” I said. Eddie dropped the ball, took a few steps away from me and sat down. He looked at me with confident eyes and waited for me to make my move.

Katie’s eyes bulged from her head. “What?” she said.

“I told you,” I said with proven new boyfriend’s confidence.

I tossed the ball down the hallway toward the kitchen, and he ran after it, scooped it up off the bounce against the cabinet where I kept my pots and pans then ran it back to me. “Drop it, Eddie.” Dropped. And again, we played our game. Eddie and I were pals from that point on. He was less strange looing, cute even. Handsome. And though still a mama’s boy and neurotic, it was the kind of neurotic I could appreciate.

Katie and Eddie would stay at my place. She’d get up and go to her agency job, Eddie and I would hang back and work from home. He’d sleep on the couch. I felt weird the first time I kissed him on the head. He didn’t seem to mind. We were, after all, pals. At first, I made Eddie sleep in a makeshift dog bed I had fashioned out of an Amazon delivery box, and an old blanket and pillow. I didn’t want him in my bed because I didn’t want dog hair in my bed. What I didn’t know at the time was that Katie was sneaking him into the bed after I’d dozed off then sneaking hi out before I woke up. He was small enough that he didn’t crowd us so I never knew. Eventually, of course, I lifted my dog ban, but I still lint rolled and vacuumed the sheets each morning. They both thought I was crazy, and rightfully so. They should have run for the hills. What kind of man doesn’t let a sweet dog sleep in the bed?

But they didn’t run. They stuck around, housebroke me and convinced me to move in with them. Katie found us a great apartment. My half of the rent was less than what I was paying on my bachelor pad, and I was getting a parking spot, in-unit washer and dryer, garbage disposal, separate bath and shower with jets in both, and so much more than my other place — though I loved it — had to offer. And how did I repay them? I shot Eddie in the eye with a NERF gun.

An hour later, Katie pulled the compress away from Eddie’s eye. What I saw horrified me. The redness and swelling had gone down but the eye itself was a fucking mess. A creamy whiteness filled the area, his pupil was off to the left and it looked like a half moon. I had shot his eye loose in his head. It was floating around like the answers in a magic eight ball at best, a cheap, plastic googly eye at worst. I broke the dog. I began to panic.

I leaped out of the bed where we had all been relaxing and nursing each other. Pacing at the foot of the bed, I spewed fear and regret. Tears filled my eyes.

“I broke him. I broke Eddie. His eye is loose in his head. He’ll never be able to take a cute photo again. He’s a freak! He’s broken! He’s probably blind. This is why… Do you see? This is why I can’t be a father. I’m going to break my kids and I… I can’t handle that. I can’t handle this. OH GOD! Eddie! I’m so sorry! Katie! I’m so sorry! I’m SO SORRY!”

Katie laughed at me.

“Why are you laughing?!”

“Because it’s cute. You love him. And he’ll be fine.”

“How do you know he’ll be fine? Look at him!”

She called the vet again. Katie was concerned about the floating eyeball in her dog’s head, too, but had to keep cool during my meltdown. Nothing good comes from absolute panic. Someone must always be in control despite the madness and fear. This was her time at the helm. Vet told us to come in. I pulled myself together and held Eddie on my lap in the back of Katie’s car as she drove.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you, boy, I love you. I’m sorry,” I whispered to him along the way.

The vet examined Eddie. Light in the eye, and all things that you’d expect from an eye exam. “It’s just irritated,” she said. “A little red and swollen but he’ll be OK. Just to be safe, let’s give him some antibiotics. Two drops daily for a week. If it gets worse or doesn’t get better, call us.”

“Wait,” I said. “What about his loose eye?”

“His what?” the vet said, severely confused.

“His loose eye.” She looked at me like I’d just shot heroin through my dick hole. “Look at him. It’s like his pupil is rolled back into his head. Look at all that whiteness in front.”

She looked again. “I don’t see what you mean.”

“How can you not see it? His eye is all… googly. Look! All that white, that white, creamy area, and his pupil is only like showing a quarter as much. What about that?!”

She used the light and reexamined him. She concluded something and stood back for a moment, processing my madness. “Do you mean his third eyelid?”

Katie and I pulled our breaths in. “I don’t know,” I said sternly. “Do I mean his third eyelid?”

The vet pulled Eddie’s eye open for us. “This milky area here? That’s what you’re asking about?”

“Yes!”

“That’s his third eyelid.”

“Dogs have a third eyelid?”

Yes. It comes out when they’re fighting or when distressed. Think of when you have something in your eye and you squint. That’s what their third eyelid does. His eyeball isn’t loose. He’s fine.”

So apparently, dogs have three eyelids. Take note, y’all.

We, of course, didn’t leave for central Illinois as planned. This was my second Christmas with Katie’s family and I didn’t think I was setting a good example of the kind of person I was. Or, perhaps I was setting a highly accurate example: an immature, emotional lunatic who knew fuck all about dogs’ eyeballs. Christ, Katie’s sister-in-law was a vet tech. I was a fool.

After the vet, we returned home and continued resting. Katie and I began a three-week long binge of The Wire. By that evening, Eddie was feeling much better and his third eyelid had receded back into his head, wherever the fuck third eyelids live. We managed to take a photo of the three of us with our Christmas tree. If you look closely at it, you can see Eddie in a half-wink. That’s because his left eye was still a little sore and swollen.

I was careful not to claim Eddie as my dog. He and Katie had been together five years. I was the new guy. But Katie, by the time we moved in together, was OK with it. I mean, we did split his vet bills and his food bills and his toy bills. And I was the father figure in his life. Katie will tell you that he even started playing differently after my influence took hold. He growled more. Good or bad, that’s my doing. Thing is, Eddie saw me as his dad — or owner, if you want to avoid the personification of animals.

Before heading off for a week-long road trip to Toronto, Katie and I attempted to leave Eddie in the care of a dogsitter. We stopped by a few days before takeoff to test the waters. While Katie was talking to the sitter, I hung back and watched Eddie engage with the other dogs. One big bastard started fucking with him. Eddie was a tough dude in his own territory — our living room, yard and local dog park. No fear. Total badass. But he was, like his human mother, in new situations shy at first, sometimes unsure. And this dog rubbed Eddie the wrong way. Usually, Eddie would bolt to mommy because he was, through and through, a mama’s boy. Instead, he ran to me. He saw me as his defender, the guy who would keep him safe, even after I shot him the eyeball with a NERF gun.

We didn’t leave him there. He spent the week with friends who had a dog Eddie appreciated and vice versa.

Eddie and I became best pals. My grandfather had this thing with us grandkids called the Pals Club. It was created as a way to form a behavioral alliance, and it worked. I have carried on the tradition, though I’ve turned it into less a controlling club of exclusivity and more a club of true friendship. Eddie was my best pal and VP of our two-person/dog Pals Club chapter. There were times when Katie would get jealous of our time together. She was always number one in his world, but I was a close third, behind the tennis balls, of course. Eddie joined me on walks when I was stressed. He came to (dog-friendly) bars with me to drink. He watched Marvel movies and PBS documentaries with me. He snuggled with me in bed and on the couch in my office. A couch that was my grandfather’s and smelled of his pipes that Eddie loved — a couch that has become just as much Eddie’s as it was my grandfather’s. I’ll bury my nose in that couch now and smell both my grandfather and my dog, and it’s wonderful.

Eddie was there when I married his mom. Unrelated, Eddie was there when I hit a terrible turd of depression and wept into his neck and back for at least 45 minutes before I could come up for air. And he just sat there, hugging me, not moving, just being there. He was exactly what was needed. Eddie helped me come to terms with being domesticated and was always a moral compass when Katie and I would have a fight. Eddie was absolute righteousness.

That’s the thing about dogs; they are both your babies and your best friends. And you are both their parent and their best friend. You don’t have that with anything else. It’s a complicated but inherently simple relationship.

I had a dog growing up, and I loved, and still love, that dog incredibly. But Eddie was different. Where Max was my brother dog, and lived among a family with parents and three idiot boys, Eddie was my responsibility. He was my child. And yes, I know how annoying that sounds. Keep in mind that I’d never, ever call him a “furbaby.” That kind of shit is awful. But he was more than my child, and I was more than his dad. He was my dog and I was his person.

That’s the thing about dogs; they are both your babies and your best friends. And you are both their parent and their best friend. You don’t have that with anything else. It’s a complicated but inherently simple relationship.

When I met Katie and Eddie, I did not want love or domestication or marriage or children or responsibility. They broke me. I don’t know that Katie could have done it alone. Maybe, but it would have been a lot harder for her, which is saying something because I did not make it easy

I realize it’s a stupid thought, but whenever I imagined mine and Katie’s future, Eddie was always a part of it. Through the birth of our kids to their graduation from journalism school to my disappointment that they followed in their father’s footsteps to the birth of our grandkids… Eddie was always in the picture. Of course, dogs die. But Eddie was such an integral part of Katie that to consider her without him was to deny Katie’s existence in those imaginations. Katie and Eddie were E.T. and Elliot. Sympatico. Beautifully co-dependent.

That’s part of what remains so special about Eddie; he was Katie’s heart. My god, the two of them… The universe rose and set for them both around the other. If you ever saw them together, you know just want I mean. Since Eddie died, this house, as much fun as we might have, as much joy as Harry has brought to it, it’s not the same. Eddie is always missing.

Dogs are something special… All of them. Always. Eddie was more to me. More to us. Some might laugh. I don’t care. Fuck ’em. They never played tennis ball fetch with Eddie or taught Eddie to dig or made him into a boat dog or snuggled with him or watched how he gazed at Katie or tried to insert himself in human activities like gin rummy card games. Anyone who thinks I’m silly never knew Eddie.

And they certainly never saw how I shot him in the eye and only then did both of us realize that we were best pals, trusted confidants, human-father and dog-son.

My first — and currently only — tattoo is of Eddie. An illustration Katie made 10+ years ago when he was just a puppy. When I miss him, I look at my forearm and I see his face. And I see all our times together. I can hear him and feel him and smell him. Sometimes I smile. Sometimes I cry. Because I miss Eddie.

I miss his silliness. I miss his companionship. I miss him and Katie. I am sad that Katie is without her heart. And yes, I’m comfortable knowing that I’ll always be second chair in her heart. It goes Eddie; Harry, our son; me. As more kids come along, maybe they bump me. I doubt any dogs will, but maybe. And when those new dogs come, they’ll be loved. But they won’t be loved like Eddie. Not any less, just different. Because those dogs will have Katie and I from the start. They’ll have Harry. Harry… You better believe we have photos of Eddie in Harry’s room. He needs to know who Eddie is/was just as much as he needs to know his great grandfathers and his aunt Jenny and his dad’s best friend Mike who are also gone from this mortal world.

Eddie and Harry did know each other, sort of. One night, the two of them had a kicking match against Katie’s belly. Eddie on the outside, Harry on the in. It was hell for Katie but a riot for me. I like to think there was serious conversation happening. Yeah, it’s silly to think that way, but it makes us feel better, so blow me.

Eddie would have been 11 years old today. He shares a birthday with two really good friends. Today was the same day my first book was published. It’s my brother’s birthday. It’s four days before my birthday. Eddie and I shared a birthday celebration. I liked that about us. It was perfectly Himmel as this time of the year is busy with Himmel birthdays.

Our days are filled with threats and bad news and confusion. Among all that, if you can get your hands on an Eddie, you might not feel so bad. I wish everyone could have an Eddie. The world would be a better place with more Eddies. In my experience, Eddies are heart warmers. Heart healers. And my Eddie was my best pal. And I miss him terribly. Eddie loved with his entire being. He was sometimes choosey about who got it, but when he gave it, he gave it all, otherwise, he was perfectly polite and charming. Eddie remains my emotional support animal. And because he’s tattooed on my arm, I have no trouble bringing him with me wherever I go. 

And because he’s tattooed in my heart, well… That just makes everything easier. Eddie was special not because he was a dog, but because of the dog he was.

Still, I miss my boy everyday in terrible ways and am so grateful I got to know a dog like Eddie and that Katie brought him to me and that he let me fall in love with Katie. And that he he let me fall in love with him. And so grateful that he fell in love with me, too.

*Never mind that one time I almost shot my grandfather in the back with a .410 shotgun.

Watch Eddie in an episode of the award-winning webseries, Greetings! From Prison.