#I hope this isn’t too long bc I do not want to put a readmore on it KDNFKENF

[petrichorium]

hi hi Pluvi……i have a fun question for you if you wanna answer. what kind of thirst trap pictures do you think the NRC guys would take? >.> hehe

Omg okay,,,,,, tbh I’m only gonna do the ones that rlly speak to me so we’ll see how many I do LMFAOOOO also some of these chars wouldn’t have a big social media presence (or social media is otherwise complicated) so I’m also kinda discussing pics theyd send u directly idk if those count as thirst traps 🤔

Cater — this is funny bc I think he unabashedly posts thirst traps but he also takes private ones too. The ones he posts vary greatly according to what’s trending but what he sends You is Very dependent on what ur interested in. Not opposed to stealing one of his sister’s skirts for a femboy mirror pic if u like one too many of those tiktoks.

Trey — you might think plu where r u going with this but I have two words: bread kneading. The first one was accidental and the rest are 100% on purpose. His forearms are so insanely drool worthy and he Absolutely Fucking Knows It. Evil man. Will send them directly to you without an ounce of shame. Often they’re videos too, with a little caption about how he can’t wait to feed you whatever he’s making…..

Jack — ENTIRELY accidental Jack Howl is NOT a slut he does not have a slutty bone in his body and he has no idea that his post-workout pics are thirst traps. But they are. They absolutely are. If anyone told him he would take a hammer to his phone in shame. These are not public he’s just trying to keep in contact with you 🥺

Leona — absolute. Fucking. Attention whore. No shame. He can’t be assed to keep up his social media but he absolutely takes the most jawdropping and purposeful pics to send to you just to make you short circuit. Little hints of taut stomach and a happy trail under a loose shirt that he lifts to wipe his face after practice; his arm stretching up behind his head as he looks at the camera w heavy-lidded eyes; his back and shoulders and that tattoo on his arm on full display in the mirror. Inhumane. Literally going to throttle him.

Jade — SO cunning about it. Obviously. Lots of stuff that u might not think is purposeful; primo pics of the lounge but he’s in the back w his sleeves rolled up chopping veggies or reaching up to grab something from the top of a cabinet. Sends you little daily pics that are equally as subtle but then when he sees you after he gives you a little smile and asks if you liked them and u Know what he’s doing

Floyd — sporadic. You’ll get nothing for weeks at a time and then a slew of them. Usually random shit. Him absolutely drenched w his uniform shirt all see-through putting his chest and shoulders on display (“fell in a fountain LOLOLOLOLOL”) His teeth bared in an open-mouthed grin (that’s a mer thing, you realize days later) Blood? Splattered across his cheek? Is he flexing his jaw? (“Don’t worry it’s not mine”)

Vil — ofc he posts thirst traps but DO NOT call them that. And to his credit they are very tasteful, kinda artsy; always met with droves of comments drooling over him. But he sends you special ones. It’s a testament to how much he trusts you that he sends them at all (that’s a lie. They’re charmed to delete themselves if you ever showed them to anyone else). Very oddly sensual body parts—his hand holding a flower, the corner of his eye as he’s drawing his liner, the slope of his collarbone—and sent with a cheeky little excuse for sending them. He’s not fooling you at all.

Lilia — yes he takes thirst trap pics. I don’t think I can even describe them accurately bc they r absolutely dependent on you personally. He knows exactly how best to make you lose your mind and tbh accompanies them with a caption that’s subtle enough nobody but you would get but is borderline obscene to you specifically. Yk? Gets explicit in your texts though. He’s basically sending you nudes but he’s fully clothed and it’s arguably entirely sfw………

Malleus — sends you one photo. It’s blurry. It might be his ear? You can’t tell. A day later a massive portrait of him sitting on a throne in full princely regalia appears at your front door. It moves and talks; it professes its undying love for you every time it sees you. You have to cover it with a cloth to get it to shut up.

[suenitos]

your love post about dream just reminded me of something he said during a space. i can’t remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of understanding where his antis are coming from when they hate him for whatever he says or does bc you’re a different person in the perspectives of other people. and i remember being stumped when he said that cause that’s such a mature mindset to have? i love how he tries to do good, and at the same time i feel like he knows when to accept when he can’t change people’s minds. i obvi can’t read his mind but that’s how i interpreted it. but it just sucks now cause it’s a whole different story when it’s someone as close to him as tommy being at the opposing side :( i think we all know how hurt he is based on his likes, but i really hope it works out for him in the end, whether he makes up with tommy or not. i just want him to be at peace

i don’t know how articulate i am with this cause english isn’t my first language and i hopeeee i don’t sound too parasocial? 😭

good morning anon. youre so good dw about it i dont think you sound too parasocial at all. your english is great :) this got way too long so putting it under a readmore

i keep thinking about his "the internet is cold" statement and the way he doesnt immediately attribute someone disliking him to something malicious. he just kinda understands a lot of the shit against him is unserious at the end of the day and laughs it off which is admirable and maybe a bit scary (TO ME). i talked on priv a while back about him always reaching out to other ccs after they talk shit about him to clear up miscommunication over an assumption about HIS character, values, etc which is really mature and a minor droloism of mine but whatever. what makes this different is that it's someone he considered a close friend and very public shade/misrepresentation over another situation involving a personal project where he got burned by another "friend" like... thats just pure betrayal. i'd be pissed too! i'd be sooo mad OMG i'd rain hell on people.

the grind and fame seduces like no other... unfortunately most people value outrage and a quick buck and laugh over sincerity nuance and longevity and well thats the case with most dream discussions/mentions on the internet :( i feel conflicted because on one hand cc friendships and partnerships etc are awesome and amazing but there comes a point where most of the time shit happens (clout, money, etc) and they end messily so while i am sad about it sometimes it is the way it goes and not even dream is immune from that as a cc (snf munchy exempted). like its very danplan/try guys fallout to me (not exact matches but you get what i mean) its happened before and it has and will continue to happen to dream.

still feel really sad about it though because it was a really beautiful friendship born out of mutual respect and passion for the craft. loving people is scary as fuck because you dont know if or when they're gonna turn on you but we still do it anyway. i dont think its overly parasocial to say you wish him peace no matter what; at the end of the day he IS another guy and its not wrong to wish good on people you dont know. i hope it works out too :( many virtual hugs anonnie sorry for these walls of text jfc

[readyforthegarden]

it’s me, the starcatcher fit anon, I so appreciate your response and willingness to help! im def more of a pants and t-shirt kind of girl, but im going to 2 shows and want to dress up and live my best life, so I’m honestly open to anything!!

Okay Fit Anon, I have a few options. Please let me preface this by as much as I wish I was, I am not a very fashionable person, I just find things I like and hope they work on my body and try and push my self-consciousness to the back of my mind. Putting this under a readmore bc it may be long!!

I do love a good bodysuit, my every day/work wardrobe is full of them, I like the slimming tucked in look bc I think it makes an outfit effortlessly put-together!

I almost ordered the black one, I think I still might for my Bad Omens show but idk for sure! The blue one has a black option as well but I think the blue would stand out in sea of silver and red and blacks! You could pair them both with casual jeans or high waisted jean shorts, and I think they’d be cute, casual and still a bit dressy!

These ^ could be cute together if you’re comfortable with cropped tops and cleavage (you can always find a mesh bodysuit to go under it and kind of cover up a bit with that too!) sometimes with shein high waist isn’t always what high waist should be for mid/plus but I’ve had a few pairs of shorts from them that work!!

As for just some bottoms options, I found these, I’m not super in love with them but if the right top is found they could work! I do really love this skirt though!! I think it’s a tie skirt, so I would make sure I wear some shorts under it and double knot if so, but it could be cute with a crop top!

These are SO cute and I think I’ve seen them in some fit tiktoks, but I really love that these have a cute whimsy to them! Again, there’s comfort level to the sheerness, but the first one that the model is wearing shorts under you could do with both and it’s still SO cute!! Or even a body suit like the second!

This romper is SO CUTE!!!! The rainbow iridescence?? Perfect for Starcatcher! It almost is like Josh’s white jumpsuits with the feathers, the coloring on it!!

I typically stay away from cider, I never find too much there I super like but I’ve seen the same three velvet dresses and jumpsuits over and over for DIG so there are some popular options there!!

I hope these help give you an idea or a direction you can run with! And remember no matter what you wear, you are going to have an amazing time!!!

[agentcherricola]

cherri with 6-23, poison with 12-17!

i'm gonna do the poison ones first and then put the cherri ones under a readmore bc it gets long!

what is the fastest way to upset them? if you even hint that you're making fun of poison to their face (unless you are a VERY close friend), they are going to tear you a new one. she's built up a very high image of herself and does not like being the butt of a joke

what is something that makes them uncomfortable? the texture of crushed velvet makes their skin crawl

what is something that never fails to make them excited? dancing! they love hitting up dance parties and just twirling around the room when their fave song comes on the radio. they're known to grab whoever's closest and make them join in, too

have they ever had their hair washed by another person? yes, they take a lot of showers with ghoul to save water and they'll wash each other's hair. there's a spot if you rub at the base of poison's skull that basically makes them purr like a cat when ghoul gives them a little head massage in the shower

what is the most romantic thing someone has done for them? when they and jet were dating (not too long after poison left the city for the first time), jet took them on a long drive just around the desert and pointed out all of his favorite places, cool sights, and other places to know. they drove until it got dark, and then they just parked and laid together on the roof of the car so poison could see the stars clearly for the first time. that's where she and jet had their first kiss, too. it's a memory she'll always hold fondly in her heart.

who is their favorite person(s) to spend time with? kobra, hands down. even if poison has a partner, kobra is still her best friend and someone who understands her in a way no one else ever will.

cherri cola

would they trust anyone with their secret? cherri keeps a lot close to the chest, either out of fear or showing weakness or just out of not wanting to burden others. but newsagogo knows a lot about him that no one else does. only when the burdens become too heavy

any family scandals? does your character know about them? cherri doesn’t know much of his ~birth family~, but his chosen family goes through all kinds of scandals. what makes it worse is pretty much everyone he considers family has a microphone and access to a radio wave, so his scandals can easily become everyone’s scandals

is there anyone they currently aren’t speaking to? why? (twitter canon) there have been plenty of times when poison (and the rest of their crew in solidarity) would give him the cold shoulder if he and her got into a fight, but it usually gets resolved (read: ignored) pretty quickly. post-sing he didn’t talk to dr. death for a while because he couldn’t take the no-questions-asked care the good doctor was trying to give him without feeling insanely guilty </3

what is something that would break them emotionally? newsie getting hurt :^((((

sacrifice the one to save many, or save the one no matter the cost? sacrifice the one for sure. and if the one happens to be himself? so be it

do they have any illnesses? i mean he has the PTSD that most killjoys have, plus anxiety on top of that. in terms of physical illnesses, he probably dealt with all kinds of fun infections when he lost his arm before he got cleaned up by the city

what is the fastest way to upset them? lying to him. you don’t have to be nice, just don’t lie. you don’t like him? fine, but just say it.

what is something that makes them uncomfortable? being touched suddenly by people he doesn't know

what is something that never fails to make them excited? cherri loves hitting that long stretch of route guano on a motorbike and just gunning it as fast as he can to feel the wind in his hair. racing kobra just the two of them down the road makes his heart race

have they ever had their hair washed by another person? yes! newsie and eventually chimp (when she and newsie have been dating for a while). newsie would wash it for him when it’s been a long time but cherri’s arm is hurting or he can’t get himself out of bed. the first time someone else did, newsie couldn’t wash his hair because they had been sick or injured. but chimp came by to take care of them, and when she was letting them rest, she gently coaxed cherri to the bathroom to wash his hair in the sink. she hummed while she did it and he almost fell asleep from how soothing it was.

what is the most romantic thing someone has done for them? kobra wrote him a poem for their one year anniversary and read it over the radio for him to hear for the first time. he stopped whatever he was doing to find kobra immediately afterwards and kiss him silly.

who is their favorite person(s) to spend time with? doctor death-defying.

neck kisses or shoulder kisses? neck. shoulder kisses are saved for being wrapped around your lover’s back when you both sleep, and he doesn’t usually do sleepovers.

how do they feel about public displays of affection? twitter canon/pre-sing, he isn't the biggest fan (unless for the purpose of winding his partner up). after getting out of the city though he doesn't waste a chance to give someone a hug or just squeeze their hand a little.

would they be the one to propose, the one hoping for a proposal, or no interest in marriage? cherri doesn't really think marriage is necessary. as a desertborn, most of his knowledge of "marriage" is from his city friends. but he sees his friends/partners very equally (the only difference being the kind of love they have for each other), and he doesn't think prioritizing romantic love is necessary.

do they prefer giving or receiving gifts? answered!

how indecisive are they? not very. cherri trusts his gut and knows what he wants.

what do they want most in life? to live unrestricted.

[yamagucji]

a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁��� yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

[princessmishaps]

So, I really wanted to put together my theories for folklore in one place and it got a little long so it’ll be under a readmore. Sorry if that messes up on mobile and you have to scroll for centuries. These are all just my personal opinions for the album and how I think it all connects, so here’s my thoughts that no one asked for. These are all just speculation!

I think the album itself is separated by six separate sections, which I have put into categories below to talk about them and explain why I think they belong together or what I think the song is about in general. Just so this isn’t such a chaotic post bc I feel like I have too much information. I hope these make sense and thank you for reading if you do!

The Teenage Love Triangle

Betty, Cardigan, August, and This Is Me Trying

These three songs all give us a different perspective into a teenage romance.

Betty comes from the perspective of James apologizing to Betty for being with another girl over the summer. “would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer fling?” “slept next to her but i dreamt of you all summer long”. At first I thought maybe they broke up and he got with another girl but in August there’s a line that says “will you call when you’re back at school?” and it made me think that maybe he cheated on Betty with another girl while he was away over the summer. Which is why she asks if he’s gonna call when he’s back at school, because they don’t go to school together and soon they won’t see each other all the time. So when school starts up people find out somehow and word gets to Betty and she changes her homeroom so she doesn’t have to be around James. “I won’t make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom but I think it’s cause of me” So, the entire basis of the song Betty is that James loves her and misses her and has been working up the courage to get her back and this is the moment where he shows up on her doorstep. It’s never actually said if Betty takes James back, it’s just stated what is wished to happen. The line that connects Betty and the other woman is in Cardigan, which is the perspective of Betty talking to James, a line says “chase two girls, lose the one” and if you include in the fact that the entire song August is the other girl talking about how she still loves James but knows he was never hers in the first place; I don’t think he gets either girl because he loses Betty and continues to chase her while having another girl who cares but he doesn’t notice it. He loses both of them for different reasons. Cardigan as a whole reminded me of nostalgia for a relationship that was comforting but failed and it took a long time to recover from the damage caused. “I knew you’d haunt all my what if’s”  So, maybe Betty didn’t take him back when he came and apologized but instead let go of the hurt and finally moved on. “tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy” This line made me think that even though he comes and tells her he’s sorry and wants her, it isn’t enough to change anything. August tells the story of the other woman but as a teens first love, I think. She falls for James but it’s not what it seems and the hope of being in love isn’t enough to make it work because she was never his first choice. “I remember thinking I had you” . You’re the other woman and you think maybe he’s gonna pick you and then he doesn’t and you have to accept that they weren’t ever really yours in the first place. “wanting was enough, for me it was enough”. Really this entire song to me is just trying to move on from realizing you weren’t as important to someone as you thought you were and it isn’t gonna be a happy ending while reminiscing the memories that brought you happiness.  The final part of this story I believe is This Is Me Trying from the perspective of James later in the timeline. Maybe after he has lost his focus in school because of a mistake he made, thinking he had it all figured out but actually making a choice that he regretted because Betty was his first love. “I was so ahead of the curve the curve became a sphere, fell behind all my classmates and ended up here”. I think he’s talking about Betty because “I don’t know what to say but I’m here in your doorway.” parallels with Cardigan and Betty which both reference standing on a front porch to talk. “and you’d be standing in my front porch light”/”Betty, I’m here on your doorstep”. Plus, "I didn’t know if you’d care if i came back”  just takes it back to Betty “i’ve planned it out for weeks now” ”right now is the last time i can dream about what happens when you see my face again”.  The vibe to me just gives off someone at their local bar just completely opening up for the first time and talking about everything that went wrong in life right then and there, and just kinda like throwing your hands up and saying i’m trying to do better and I want you to know that. James knows he fucked up and there is no fixing it other than going back and standing in her doorway one last time to see if it’ll work out “it’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you”. I think this story is more open-ended and it’s more about the lesson of heartache for your first love on all sides of the coin. Losing someone who was never yours, losing someone who you loved but hurt you, and losing someone you hurt but loved. 

The Misfit Widow (or the Story of Rebekah Harkness as told by Taylor)

Mad Woman, Illicit Affairs, Hoax, and The Last Great American Dynasty

I think the idea with this one was to take Rebekah’s life and basically write an entire story around who she was through Taylor’s eyes. We get to see a story that may or not be true but that’s folklore at its finest! 

Illicit Affairs is the perspective from the other woman, just like August, but this time it’s not a first love but maybe the first real love you felt and it’s with an older man “don’t call me kid” who is married.  So, you do what you have to do to hide the relationship because you’re in love and would do whatever you need to do to be with them. “You showed me colors I can’t see with anyone else”. The entire relationship is a secret but it’s real with them, so this woman is in love but tired of being cast away because she would hurt herself for them but maybe doesn’t feel like it would be reciprocated.  “for you i would ruin myself”. Maybe the relationship wasn’t as deep to them as it was to you kind of a deal. The whole song to me felt like wanting to give up on being a secret because it’s just too hard to deal with but you can’t move on because of how in love you are with them at the same time. I think this song fits with the Rebekah theory because of the line in Mad Woman, “It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.” Kind of like he was never going to break it off with his wife but if she died then maybe, or maybe the two bonded over a mutual dislike of her I don’t know honestly but I think they connect with each other somehow song wise. In Mad Woman there is a ton of references to cheating, really the whole song sounds like someone embracing the identity thrown on them of being a Mad Woman because shes been hurt. I think it’s supposed to be from Rebekah’s perspective since she’s referenced as a Mad Woman in The Last Great American Dynasty. “there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen”. So in this song we get to see why she’s called the Mad Woman. She’s been though a lot even though she’s only been a loyal wife and society has deemed her to be unlikable for how shes acting and shes labeled as a Mad Woman for simply being upset (and probably rightly so).  “the master of spin has a couple side flings, good wives always know” I also thought that the lyric: “what do you sing on your drive home” seemed like a question to me that you’d ask if you just found out your husband was cheating on you; like oh what do you do on your drive home to our house? Do you sing songs? Do you see my face cursing you out because you know you’re cheating or do you even care? I think the song is supposed to be the angry side of Rebekah, while Hoax is the sad side. In The Last Great American Dynasty, we learn that Bill passes away and I thought that Hoax was her mourning the loss of her love even if it was faithless (going back to Illicit Affair and all the cheating references in Mad Woman). “they say she was seen on occasion pacing the rocks staring out at the midnight sea” parallels with Hoax “stood on the cliffside screaming give me a reason, your faithless loves the only hoax I believe in”. And with “my kingdom come undone” it all seemed to me that she lost her husband and missed him even though it wasn’t the happiest relationship; but she loved him and maybe that drove her a little mad having her world fall apart like that. “don’t want no other shade of blue but you” “darling this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart” could go back to him cheating on her or even just losing him in general. It’s supposed to be the mourning for a love you were angry with but loved and now lost and can’t get back. I think Taylor finishes the story and starts it at the same time with The Last Great American Dynasty. In this one she sets up the scene to introduce us to Rebekah and is showing us that even though her life was complicated she was having a “marvelous time ruining everything” and compares it to her life and says that she also had a marvelous time ruining everything in that same house. I think most of the Rebekah story on this album is partially all fiction, with most of it coming from Taylor’s fantasy world. My theory on that is maybe because Taylor and Rebekah were both blamed for the same things, speculating into what her life was like would be a way to feel like she knew this woman a little more who might have inspired her to live a more freeing life, who knows. I think you need to hear this song first, listen to the other three, and then listen to this one again to really grasp the story because it’s one of those things that doesn’t look the same after you get more information. It’s a joint story for Rebekah and Taylor and maybe some other fictional world or woman but basically the Mad Woman of the world. Its like yes I am labeled this but she wasn’t just a Mad Woman she was a person who was probably going through a lot more than the tabloids let on, much like Taylor, and I think that’s what this entire story was inspired by just the concept of looking through the eyes of someone who you have never met but feel connected with.

One Song Stories

Exile, My Tears Ricochet, and Epiphany

These three I think stand alone by themselves as separate stories.

Exile might be about a man who is looking in on the life he isn’t involved in anymore. “I can see you staring honey, like he’s just your understudy.” Makes me think that maybe he’s seeing his past love who has moved on to someone else and wondering what went wrong and it’s just both sides of the story coming from Taylor and Bon Iver. Taylor’s side says “I think I’ve seen this film before, so I’m leaving out the side door.”  which let’s us know that she left him and maybe because she felt like she was just a problem and took off before the story took a turn for the worse anymore than it had. “You’re not my homeland anymore, so who am I defending now?”(Bon Iver)/”I’m not your problem anymore, so who am I offending now?”(Taylor) 

My Tears Ricochet: “An embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of obsession” That quote is directly from the prologue Taylor wrote for the album. She mentions most of the characters she wrote stories about in it but this one seemed like it fit perfectly to this song. So it made sense to me that that’s what it’s about, I guess? You get to hear a story about this persons tormentor showing up at their funeral, and you get to hear the song from the perspective of the person who passed away.  “and if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” They are just wondering why this person is even there if they hated them so much kind of thing. Which I feel like could even be projected onto the idea of cancel culture and that once someone is cancelled to you it’s like you’re dead to them. Honestly think this song is so deep and I’m still figuring stuff out about it so I’ll leave it at that.

Epiphany: Just like for My Tears Ricochet, Taylor also mentioned one of the songs was about her grandfather. “My grandfather, Dean, landing at Guadalcanal in 1942.” So I think this one is just her taking her grandfathers story and also putting it with references to the pandemic and medical workers.  “holds your hand through plastic now” “only twenty minutes to sleep but you dream of some epiphany”. She also parallels “Sir, I think he’s bleeding out” from the scenario of talking about her grandfather in Guadalcanal, with “Doc, I think she’s crashing out.” This one is the hardest one to write theories for because it’s the one that gets me the most choked up but I feel like it was the most necessary song on the album right now. 

Taylor Based

The 1, Mirrorball, Peace, Invisible String, and Seven

I put these together because I felt like they had lyrical connections throughout and seemed like they could be more centered around Taylor’s actual life. Whether current or past emotions, I thought these were her own stories to tell to be passed down like folklore and that’s why they were included. I don’t know if they make a cohesive story but I do think its more so Taylor’s narrative whether how accurate or true the stories are I think the honesty is in the emotions not the details, if that makes sense.

The 1: This one to me seemed like it was about a long gone past love that you haven’t had in your life for awhile but you still have that what if question in your head of. The maybe it could have been if circumstances changed and you’re left wondering for the rest of your life. I think it’s from forever ago because of the lyric “In my defense I have none for digging up the grave another time.” I took that as like looking back on something that has been long finished and reopening all those thoughts even though it belongs in the past and you’ve admitted you’ve dug these feelings up more than once but you always make yourself rebury them because it’s easier. I had another theory that it could also be about Rebekah because of the “roaring twenties” line since she was born in 1915, but I just don’t have a solid theory on that one enough to be confident in explaining it. Also because Taylor could be referring to herself in her twenties as well, so I think it could go either way but I’m leaning more towards it being Taylor’s story because of the parallel to ME! “for never leaving well enough alone” The 1 / “I never leave well enough alone” ME! I just thought this could be about literally anybody from her past, really, or maybe a general idea of what if things were different where would she be now.

Mirrorball: I think this was Taylor talking about how hard it is for her to be herself sometimes especially in the public eye. In the beginning she starts by saying that she will “get you out on the floor” and I related that to the fact that she’s been a soundtrack to so many peoples lives and making people wanna dance in their bedrooms. She then switches it and says “when no one is around” and talks about how even when she’s alone she’s spinning around trying to keep her love interested in her, not just the world around her who likes to watch her fall and make mistakes. “drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten” is basically saying that they’re too busy seeing the pretty in you, or the entertainment in you, to see that you’re broken. They don’t notice it but your love does, that maybe something isn’t quite right even though you’re spinning around. “you are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers”. To me it seemed like she was saying that somehow this love of hers is different than what she’s used to being treated like, but goes on to talk about  “i’m still on that tightrope” and it implies that even though this person is different she can’t get past the insecurities sometimes and she will change herself to fit in as many times as she needs. Which fits in with Peace and it’s entire mood, because she knows that sometimes there may bring bad days and it’s inevitable because she is a Mirrorball.

“when they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns” Mirrorball / “there’s robbers to the east clowns to the west” Peace

Peace: This one seems like it’s from Taylor to her lover. Kind of like what I mentioned in Mirrorball she knows that her life isn’t normal and she’s always going to question if it’s going to be enough to keep them around when she can’t give them peace. The song goes on to list all the things she can give to them but the only she can’t is peace and to her it seems like an anxious question that you think they’ll leave you over. It makes me think of when you love someone so much you have to ask if it’s enough to not give them exactly everything they wanted because you feel like you’re depriving them of something. But you love them so you have to ask and in the back of your head your worried they’ll actually leave you over it, so the song sounds kind of sad to me because of that reason with an undertone vibe of hope and love that you are enough despite your faults, which makes it a romantic love song at its core and it’s got so much depth to it. 

Invisible String: I truly don’t feel like I need to explain this one cause it’s pretty self explanatory.

Seven: I think this song was supposed to be about Taylor because most of her youth she was touring and working on music, she didn’t exactly get a normal childhood but the years that were untouched by that lifestyle are probably very prominent in her head and at a young age. So I think with Seven she’s trying to capture all of her emotions as a kid into like this tiny bottle of memories, trying to paint a picture of herself as a child with no limitations but being too scared to jump into the water. “over the creek, i was too scared to jump in” You can’t remember the face but you know they were important because you still have the memory and you hold a special place for them in your heart. “though I can’t recall your face I still got love for you”. It’s like an entire song for when you were a kid and when you didn’t realize how serious problems really were. You got to live in a little dreamworld where issues were solved by becoming a pirate. You didn’t censor yourself or think twice because you didn’t know any better. “Before I learned civility I used to scream ferociously”. I think it’s just a way to be nostalgic about a time when things were simpler.

[bogkeep]

i wrote down a rough outline for the Timian Fable and Vinta Qir story, just to have it written down Somewhere, and i feel like it’s only fair to share it with people who care about them!! i wrote it in a google doc but i’m gonna copypaste it under the readmore, so i hope the formatting isn’t too fucky.

(here’s a toyhouse page for my iphimery characters)

Prince Aljanah (third son of the queen, pretty far down in line to the throne, generally bored, has zero responsibilities and zero accountability) seduces Timian mostly for the heck of it. I mean, Timian is super cute, so like. Why not. He gives him a smooch and a stealthy “think about it, OK?” and oh god does Timian ever think about it. It’s a really Big Conflict in his brain because he has a DUTY and this goes against ALL DUTY and Aljanah is almost literally his employer (his loyalty is sworn to the royal family) so it’s like! What the hell is he supposed to do!! What the prince wants is supposed to trump what he wants, unless it puts the royal family’s safety in jeopardy, and AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH (and he kind of really wants to?? There’s a lot to unpack here?????)

 There’s some genuine friendship in there, where Aljanah helps Timian overcome some trauma around magic, but for the most part Timian is left pining for a relationship Aljanah isn’t interested in.

(Aljanah teaches Timian some light magic maybe??? Timian isn’t too keen on using it, ever. He does learn some very useful magic blocks though.)

Vinta is on a mission to assassinate Aljanah. Timian stops them and they are equally measured in strength. Vinta is about to use their magic (which they only use as a last resort), but Timian then has a moment of Gay (their faces are very close together) and blurts out something like “oh... you’re beautiful” which takes Vinta so unexpectedly aback they kind of… flee

Vinta tries again another time, but Timian is there again to meet them, and this time Vinta goes straight for the magic - which freaks Timian out bc trauma, but he remembers what Aljanah taught him and counters it. The ordeal leaves both of them so exhausted, they kind of just lie down and… start bonding over how magic kinda sucks. Very begrudgingly, on Vinta’s part at least. 

(“Please don’t forget me?” “I don’t think I could even if I wanted to”) Unsure If Vinta Agrees To Stop The Assassination But They Certainly Seem Very Unhappy About The Prospect Of One

Despite it seeming like Timian may never meet Vinta again… Vinta keeps showing up. Not as an assassin in the dark, but like, on the street? Off the clock? So they sort of start hanging out?? Vinta has a real knack for finding Timian anywhere, anytime… one time they come across him singing by himself down by the water, but they don’t approach him. Just sit down and listen out of sight, a little guilty for intruding. 

Timian seems awfully forgiving of Vinta attempting to murder his crush, but hey, Vinta was just trying to do his job. Timian seems extremely reluctant to talk about Aljanah at all ever though. Vinta slowly pieces together that Timian has some really strong and painful feelings towards the prince. IT’S COMPLICATED

Vinta never ever addresses the whole “you’re beautiful” thing. Timian never brings it up either. THEY’RE BOTH THINKING ABOUT IT, CONSTANTLY

This is like. The first time either of them has a friend who’s really their equal and who kind of really gets them. It’s so incredibly precious and neither wants to mess that up. This has never happened before in the history of gay

Timian’s relationship to romance/sexuality is very… he has a duty, you know? He has to be stronger than that and not let it ever distract him. So of course Aljanah comes along and MESSES ALL OF IT UP. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

He has some issues. He’s working on it. 

In all honesty he started out very clueless like he didn’t recognize crushes as crushes for such a long time because “they’re just such lovely friends :)” you know. So it was very easy to say he was above these things BUT HE WASN’T!! HE WASN’T!!! HE WAS JUST A DUMBASS!!! What Aljanah does is essentially just confront the dumbassery head on and it’s like oh no *pictures of all his dear lovely friends spill out of pocket* “i’m gay???” “always was”

Vinta’s relationship to romance/sexuality was to repress all of it because they don’t belong to themself. They were like, keenly aware every time Some Feeling showed up uninvited and they would throttle it and shove it down where it never got to flourish. 1) they can’t have it 2) they don’t deserve it So don’t even try, you know? There’s no fucking point. 

AND SO THEY PINE FOR ONE ANOTHER

I mean they kind of… help each other a lot, sharing traumas, letting the other that they deserve to have nice things, and be a person maybe?? Maybe duty isn’t all there is for them out there? Sounds fake but ok [gazes longingly into each other’s eyes]

Vinta never goes through with the assassination on prince Aljanah but sometimes they kind of really want to. Not because of a job, but because oh my god Aljanah broke Timian’s heart and also AAUGHH HE DOESN’T DESERVE TIMIAN’S DEVOTION THIS IS UPSETTING I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THIS DSJKSDJKDSFJB!!

They also gotta deal with the pressure from the assassin’s guild. Since they’re one of the top assassins they got a lot of leeway at first, but now that they’re questioning both their purpose and loyalty and kind of push back… it’s getting kind of dangerous maybe. The other assassins start getting on their case as well and Vinta has to keep up appearances and prove that they’re not too Weak to do it.  Vinta has a lot of pride in their skills ok. Pride is one of the emotions they’ve let themself foster.

Meanwhile Timian is kind of slowly able to let go of his yearning for Aljanah, because he’s found a relationship that’s filling in all the wounds from what he’s not getting from the prince?? Like he’s investing in a friendship that’s actually fulfilling and a two way street? And maybe?? Something More?? SJAJHSDJKA???

It’s giving Timain the ability to set a boundary between himself and Aljanah that was sorely lacking before. Things are still kind of Strange and a little Painful but he’s on a healthier path and we’re all very proud of him

Look I haven’t thought too hard about the actual plot with the assassination and stuff but imagine that other assassins take on the mission to kill Aljanah and VINTA TEAMS UP WITH TIMIAN TO PROTECT THE GARBAGE PRINCE BECAUSE HE MATTERS TO TIMIAN. 

Aljanah hasn’t met Vinta before (he just sleeps through assassination attempts for the most time, it happens frequently enough that he just accepts that this is his lot in life???) and is like oh thank you and who do I owe the honor and Vinta just punches him in the face

Since that was overall confusing, Timian and Vinta kind of have to talk about it, and Vinta admits to having some… Selfish And Greedy Feelings and they are clearly not ready to confess properly yet

Timian has, for better or for worse, learnt some things from Aljanah. “You want to see something selfish?” he says, kissing Vinta. “Think about it, OK?” he says before he goes, leaving a VERY DAZED Vinta just standing there

[MORE THINGS HAPPEN????]

In the future. When Vinta has quit the guild and Timian is no longer a royal guard, and they make a home together and create a life where they no longer work in violence… 

Vinta collects knives because they love knifes. Knives have always felt Safe to them because magic has been the dangerous tool. Vinta gets really good at woodworking.

Timian helps out at an apothecary. Which is funny because his name just means thyme in norwegian. He doesn’t keep any polearms around, but if necessary he can wield a really mean pitchfork.

They’re both highly skilled fighters, but don’t try to drag them into any pointless wars, ok? It won’t end well for you.

They love and care eachother 

[capsgirl19]

wait I wanna hear about the gay subtext and wasted potential of teen beach 2

Okay, strap in because I don’t do elevator pitches. Major spoilers for Teen Beach Movies 1&2. And a readmore because this is LONG!

SO. Idk if this is a common observation, but it seemed fairly obvious to me that Lela fell hard in love with Mack over the course of the first movie. She felt trapped by gender roles, obligated to pursue a relationship with a boy over and over again, never even considering that there might be something more until this girl unlike anyone she’s ever met crashes into her life saying that she can do anything men can do, that she doesn’t have to fit into a little box. I legit thought the scene in her bedroom might be her confessing to being gay, though I knew it wouldn’t be. And like... the necklace exchange? The extended hug at the end? Not to mention in the second one, she’s desperate to escape her own universe so she can be with Mack again, desperate to live in a world where she’s allowed to be her true self. The fact that Brady turns into a garbage fire in that one doesn’t help my opinions on the canon pairings, either. By all rights, Lela’s story in the second movie ought to be a tragedy. She escapes a world defined by rigid expectations that she be in a relationship with a man to get back to the girl who changed her life. And she makes it! And she’s happy! And then it turns out everyone she loves will die if she doesn’t go back to her own life. She makes this tremendous sacrifice to save her entire universe, and honestly a sad gay story is cliche, but imo better than doing what they actually did with that ending.

As a little aside, can we talk about the unbelievable amount of lip service in these movies that the second one undermines with its entire plot? In the first movie Brady was kinda dumb, but a seemingly good boyfriend. Mack was so about Girl Power that she was trying to bring third wave feminism to the early sixties. In the second one Brady is sulky, jealous for no reason, dumps his girlfriend because HIS TRASH ASS fucking forgot they had plans, and never even has to apologize for it. On the contrary, Mack apologizes to HIM! When she never did anything to so much as suggest she’d find his interests stupid! I digress, sorry, it pissed me off to no end.

That finished, let’s get into the meta. While I don’t think the writers realized it, they wrote a super interesting multiverse. We’ve got the prime universe, the one Mack and Brady are from, which is the one all the others spawn from. My theory is that literally anyone can create a universe by writing about one. The intricacy of the created universe is based on how much worldbuilding goes into it, and the better thought-out the universe, the stronger the fabric of reality surrounding it will be, and the harder it’ll be to change from its intended path. This isn’t a new concept, but there’s an interesting level of equity in the fact that secondary universes can rewrite the entire timeline of the primary one if they change enough. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Wet Side Story is a sleepy little universe, not much thought put into how it runs at all. The characters sing and dance their way through the same summer over and over again in a contented daze, like the lotus eaters of the Odyssey. And then along come Mack and Brady, to stretch at the delicate chiffon of this simple place. The characters closest to them begin to stir from their trances, and there’s no way to go back. No way to unknow. Only an endless summer, a stretching eternity of pretending, and Lela can’t stand it. With barely a few months between, she’s pulling that fabric in the opposite direction trying to get back to the girl who captured her mind and her heart, currently in a failing relationship. And then she has to go back. She doesn’t want to. Mack seems to wish she could stay, if only for Lela’s own sake. She and Tanner return to their own universe, but not before Mack tells her that she can control her own destiny and shape her universe to her whims. Lela takes this to heart, becoming the solo star of the film. It’s too much. The thin fabric separating her universe from the primary one tears as she severely alters its timeline, allowing her to throw Mack a leather jacket matching her own through a movie screen, and shoot her a sly wink as she dances along to the movie. This is the end of Teen Beach 2, and oh boy, do I have sequel ideas.

Here’s the setup: so. Lela goes home. Whoever wrote the movie she’s in has long since abandoned caring for the universe they never bothered to build a world for, and their grip is weak. It’s easy to wrest the pen from that loose hand, to bend her world around her until it suits her desires, and she writes a great story. But it still feels empty. Lela is the queen of the beach, but her friends still seem their happiest playing their new roles, over and over again. She ascends to godhood, taking the reins of her own universe, but it’s lonely at the top and she’s as high as a person can go. She is peerless. She has nothing but time to ponder the nature of everything, and to yearn for the only equal she ever had.

The final film doesn’t open with her, though, and this one’s a fuckin’ doozy. Think Infinity War (the comic, not the movie, and maybe a little bit of Marvel’s Illuminati plotline too) meets a lesbian pulp novel. It opens with Mack, a few years later, now in college studying oceanography. Things keep sort of... glitching out. The camera pans past a character or scene from Lela, Queen of the Beach, or maybe even Wet Side Story, but when Mack looks back at it it’s always normal again. She decides she’s being silly, and it’s just been awhile since she watched her favorite movie, so that night she makes some time and puts it on. Lela herself steps out of the screen after one of her numbers and restores Mack’s memories of the timeline that got dead-ended by Lela’s alteration of her own universe. Mack is thrilled to see her after so long, and they hug, Mack explaining what she’s been doing in the time they’ve been apart. For Lela, it’s only been a year, and she never aged to begin with. Lela tells Mack how she took her advice, she changed her movie, but things were still so unbearably lonely. She tells her that whoever created their multiverse is cruel, that they had no regard for the people within, but that it’s alright. Lela knows how to handle indifferent creators, after all. She’s going to merge it all into one universe, no hierarchies, that she personally will oversee. She’s come to ask Mack to rule at her side.

Mack is afraid of her power and afraid of her ideas. She tries to talk Lela out of it, but to no avail. Lela is deeply sad that Mack doesn’t see things her way, but out of love for the other girl and a genuine belief that she’s too powerful to be stopped, once again forging her own destiny, she folds the necklace into Mack’s palm and returns to her own universe to continue her work.

Mack and Brady went their separate ways after high school, not on bad terms, but because a long-distance relationship didn’t seem realistic. This is the first time they’ve spoken since she left for college, but Brady is her only hope for someone who might understand. She manages to jog his memory, and they have to work together to try and prevent Lela from remaking all of creation. There are posters throughout which serve as markers of how close she is to achieving her goals, shifting gradually closer to their final form: Lela in iconic pink jacket leaning against the side of a motorcycle on a black-sand beach, a galactic sky behind her. The title reads, “LELA: QUEEN OF THE MULTIVERSE.” This is also the working title of the third movie.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all I got! How does it end? I don’t know! Probably Lela doesn’t merge the multiverse into one place, because that’s never a great plan. Maybe she just gets to live in Mack’s universe and go to college and find a girlfriend and have a good life? And her movie’s about Tanner and Bucky now (bc holy god there’s not as much of a story there but Tanner is fucking gay as hell), but it has the same story as the original? That might be good. Could also be called “Mack and Brady Save the Multiverse” idk.

[nowoyas]

Your 'katsudon' looks delicious,.. How did you make it,, 😍

*breaks fingers* alright recipe time bitches, gonna throw this shit under a readmore for ur dash’s sakes

ingredience:

1-2 chicken breasts (I used one cus I got a different brand from usual and these chicken breasts were THICC, u wanna make sure they’re kinda thin otherwise cut em in half or they won’t cook through properly)

rice (1 cup white uncooked is what I used)

onion (half a large yellow onion, I used two small yellow onions cus I’m an onion whore)

panko, which is japanese bread crumbs! (like 1 cup)

1 large egg, beaten

2 more large eggs, beaten, SEPARATE from the first egg

about 1/4 cup flour

salt n pepper baybeeee

grated lemon peel (if it doesn’t have lemon peel, soy sauce, or just so much sugar I didn’t cook it, but you can leave this out if you want :( )

2/3 cup dashi stock 

1 1/2 tbsp mirin (rice wine, it’s a cooking wine so you should be able to buy it even if ur not legal drinking age)

1 1/2 tbsp sake (NOT a cooking alcohol, u will need someone to buy it for u if ur underaged)

1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce

1 1/2 TEASPOONS, not tablespoons, sugar

if ur life rocks and u can find it, mitsuba which is japanese parsley. if ur life doesn’t rock and u can’t get it (Aka ur me), regular parsley works fine

oil! a flavor neutral cooking oil like canola oil or veg oil. don’t use olive oil. the amount will depend on the size of ur frying pan but we’re gonna b shallow frying this shit

resippy:

set everything out, cook ur rice ahead of time

start by slicing up your onions. what I do is cut the onion in half and then do wedges, then separate the layers and toss that into a bowl. set aside for later

I like to set up ur breading station first so u don’t gotta do it with chicken hands or wash your hands 50000 times, so set out either shallow bowls or plates with ur flour, ONE beaten egg, panko, and then one clean plate for once ur chicken’s all bready

then u wanna prep ur chicken, if ur chicken breasts are thin slicing in half once longways is fine (like chicken tenders) but if u got thicc bois first slice em in half so they’re not so thicc. u want this shit to b able to cook all the way thru because in this house we do NOT stan salmonella poisoning or any matter of food-born illnesses. I find 4 chicken tender-sized slices to b the perfect amount to fit in my pan

if u didn’t prep ur breading station ahead of time, wash ur hands and do it now. ur order is flour -> egg -> panko -> finish plate

if u prepped ur breading station first, then sprinkle salt + pepper over both sides of each chicken not-tender, maybe a lil bit of lemon peel. then, one at a time, cover each piece with flour, then dredge it in egg, and then the panko. b careful to completely cover ur chicken during each step! when it’s bready, place the chicken+seasoning+floureggpanko on the plate, rinse ur fingertips bc they’re probs gettin breaded too, and repeat until all ur chicken’s covered and breaded

get a plate and line it with 2 or 3 paper towels, have some extra on the side too, you’ll need em

now for the fun part and the reason i smell like burn ointment right now: frying!

you wanna get a shallow frying pan and pour enough oil so it’s half an inch deep in. heat it over medium heat 5-10 minutes, you want the oil to be around 350 degrees fahrenheit (176.66 celcius according to google?) but I don’t own a thermometer lmao. take a tiny piece of panko and drop it in the oil, it might sink a lil and if bubbles carry it back to the top kinda slow-ish you’ll know you’re ready to fry. u wanna make sure it’s not too cold or too hot cus too cold won’t get crispy and too hot will over-cook ur breading while ur chicken doesn’t cook all the way thru

drop one of your katsu tenders in the oil s l o w l y. if u did it right the oil probably doesn’t cover the tender all the way--that’s ok, using either tongs or something scoopy or like, long chopsticks, carefully flip it every now and then until the whole thing’s nice and golden brown. remove and set on ur paper towel plate, repeat for the rest of ur katsu tenders. I recommend one at a time so you don’t overcook any of them! it also makes em easier to flip in the oil without being a dumbass like me and having oil pop all over ur goddamn s k i n and burn u cus god knows I do that shit every time or grab fresh hot meat with my bare hands when it’s barely out of the oil

once you’re all done frying, remove ur oil from the heat and let it cool before you even THINK about cleaning that shit. get another frying pan (probs deeper than the one u fried in), toss in ur sake, mirin, dashi, sugar, soy sauce, and onions, and stir it up. heat it until it starts boiling, drop ur heat to medium, and cook it up until ur onions are all wilty. 

at this point, put ur fried up chicken in and turn the heat up to medium high. take ur other two beaten eggs and pour em over the chicken so it’s about as evenly ditributed as u can get. nice egg bath for our nice bready chicken. 

when the egg’s around half cooked (I’d give advice on what that looks like but it’s kinda somethin u gotta feel with ur heart of hearts), turn off the heat and add ur mitsuba or boring old dried parsley I GUESS and more lemon peel. probably less than i would add. I’m known for eating more lemon than is healthy.

remember your rice? I sure hope so! get some of that shit in a bowl and scoop out some chicken tendie, make sure u get onions and some of the liquid and stuff, and lay that shit on top of the rice.

take a bite and fucking ascend. holy shit. izuku was right. katsudon is so fucking good. the first time I made this shit and tried it I got some rice, meat, and onion and egg all in one bite and yelled “oh FUCK” so loud in my kitchen my roommate came out of her room and I had to let her try some. but don’t be fooled. this recipe could probably maybe serve two, potentially three if ur all small eaters. don’t share. eat all of it urself. c o n s u m e it. I highly recommend gettin a bite with everything in it, cus you’ll fucking d i e. 

izuku was so right. this shit slaps. even if it’s not technically katsudon. (I think it makes it oyakodon? but shhhh it’s katsudon if I SAY it’s katsudon) it’s just. so good. i’m a lil drunk cus the sake isn’t resealable so I’ve been drinking it but f u c k this shit’s so good. call me a kinnie but katsudon’s one of my favorite foods now too i’m lowkey crying a little it’s so fucking g o o d

[protectbrowngirls]

Hey, i'm an 18 yr old brown girl. I've been dating a guy online for a year now and we're very close, he's 19.i really want to meet him and i told my parents about him and they went crazy. they stole my bank passwords and passport and they're really trying to control me. it's very hard already bc our relationship is long distance. anyone have any advice or tips on what I can do? I love parents but they're really toxic. if anyone can talk to me pls comment and ill pm my ig.

Hi, so sorry it took me forever to respond to you! Funnily enough, I’m visiting my own parents rn, and it’s very hard to find time for myself without them interrupting.

I definitely understand your pain. So often, brown parents go absolutely ballistic and cite “concern” as the reason they’re holding you hostage. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, having to deal with not only with the obstacles that come with an LDR but also your parents being unreasonable.

Followers, if you have any advice or comfort you could offer, please feel free to share, whether via replying to this post, sending an ask, reblogging with advice, etc! And anon, if you’d like to talk about this more with me, you’re welcome to IM me; all messages and info will be kept private.

Having been in similar situations, I would offer you the following advice. Placing this under a readmore cut to avoid clogging dashboards:

First and most importantly, work to become independent from your parents. If you’re 18, you should be to close your account without needing your parents to sign off on it. Meaning, go to the bank, open a new account where you’re the sole owner, transfer all your money from your joint account to the new one, then close the old one. And then, don’t give your parents the new bank account info at any cost. They might threaten you, or tell you you’re irresponsible, or shout at you, or say all kinds of hurtful things. It will hurt a lot, but you need to say “I won’t give you access to my account.” Don’t try to explain or justify; just say that and nothing more. If the money in your account is technically theirs and you aren’t comfortable cutting off their access to it, open a new account anyway, and start directing as much of your own money into it as you can. Can you pick up a job or side hustle, like tutoring or freelance writing/editing/drawing? If you’re in college/university, can you get a work/study job without telling your parents? 

It is possible to replace your passport and any other documents your parents have stolen. If you’re in the United States, this website offers instructions on how to replace all your vital documents, including birth certificate, passport, SSN card, etc. (If you’re in a different country, let me know, and I’ll do my best to see if there are similar resources for you). It will take some digging to figure out all places you need to call or make appointments with. And it will unfortunately cost money, but you may be able to call your local passport facility or vital records office to ask if they have fee waivers or payment plans you could qualify for. I know it’s scary for your parents to hold your documents hostage, but unless you’re traveling internationally in the next month, this isn’t as big of a threat as they want it to be.

Unfortunately, you may have to accept that your parents just won’t support you meeting or dating your bf. Maybe they think you’re too young, or he doesn’t meet their standards, or they don’t trust the internet; regardless of the reason, it is deep-rooted, and they’re unlikely to change their minds no matter how much you reason or plead with them. This is really hard pill to swallow! It is so incredibly painful to realize that your parents’ love is conditional, and your happiness often isn’t a good enough reason for them to challenge their own beliefs. But you can’t control their reactions, nor can you force them to change their minds. Living your best life means determining what is and isn’t under your control, focusing on changing what you can, and not blaming yourself for the things you can’t change.

If you want to meet up with your bf, it will have to be on your own dime and your own time. This may mean you can’t meet up until you’re able to extricate yourself from your parents’ toxicity. You have to put your own safety and well-being first. This also means you need to have a difficult conversation with your bf: Are the two of you willing to wait until you’re able to meet him without your parents punishing you? Is he okay with you lying to your parents about him if you need to in order to avoid punishment? If he has fewer restrictions than you, is he okay with doing more of the legwork for meeting up (whether financially or by accommodating your restrictions) right now?

Though this is probably the furthest thing from what you want to hear, patience is your best friend right now. I promise there will come a time when you won’t have to worry about how your parents will react and how their reactions will limit your own happiness. I promise eventually you’ll be able to meet your bf whenever you want (global pandemics permitting). But that time is not right now, and you have still have some hurdles in your way. So be patient, and work toward clearing those hurdles. I hope you’re able to meet up with your bf sooner rather than later, and that you find a way to distance yourself from your parents’ toxicity. You deserve to seek happiness without first having to seek their approval and permission.

[holographings]

ALL THE HEART EMOJIS

AAH oh boy this got long so i’m putting it under a readmore here we go

💖 Has your OC ever been in love, be it romantic or platonic or otherwise? Who with and did they ever express their feelings or keep it private? How long did these feelings persist / do they still feel this way?

alek has definitely fallen in love with a few people along the way, but he’s never really allowed himself to hope for anything to actually happen, same with morgan altho she’s more like... picky lol. frankie has only ever truly had feelings for alek and even then half the time he’s not sure if it’s because he legitimately is in love w/ alek or if he loves the way he feels about himself when he’s around him (but isn’t that half of what love is). brat. hm. not really. he’s had those fleeting moments of Oh pretty person but he’s never really gotten attached.

💛 In general, how in control of their emotions is your OC? Do they have a good hold on them or do their emotions control them, not the other way around? What do you think is the reason behind this and is your OC ever concerned about their lack of or good control?

all of these ppl are heart first head second, but i think brat is the loosest cannon when it comes to acting on surface emotions (and that’s partly why francis dislikes him, he sees too much of what he could be like if he wasn’t so hard on himself). morgan is definitely more u h methodical in her approach to how she weaponizes her emotions, bc ultimately that is what she’s doing half of the time. alek hasn’t felt an emotion in a good long while but generally he seems very open with his feelings while also being careful not to let too much genuine stuff slip. and francis is just [i’ll keep all of my feelings right here, and then one day i’ll Die], but like, he fails at it a lot lol

💚 Talk about some of the traumatic events in your OC’s life. These events can be ones that have happened to them or a loved one. These events can be minor or major.

boy oh boy well the obvious ones are francis losing his parents, alek’s whole experience growing up trans was like,, a passive trauma but now that he’s away from his household it’s slightly more ok. he has some people that see him how he truly is, same for brat with being a second generation immigrant and, along with morgan, being singled out and an easy target growing up. as for morgan just the experience of being a girl trying to navigate the world and always having to make herself smaller for the comfort of others (hence her power, shrinking/englarging anything with a molecular basis in reality). and like. ya. there’s more stuff but ~all in good time

💙 What did your OC want to be when they grew up and why? Did they have any lifelong dreams or ambitions they never got to work on or are they currently working to achieve this dream? Has their life taken a very unexpected turn and put all these plans on hold for a while or have they given up on any dreams?

well i can say that none of them ended up exactly where they want to be lmao. again all of these people had no intention of living past the age of 18 so, they’re just kinda working with what they have. brat did want to be a chef at one point, and francis wanted to work in the music field but none of that panned out for varying reasons

  💜 Music or Silence? Swords or Spells? Cities or Nature?

music (brat, francis,alek)/silence (morgan), swords (morgan, alek)/spells (brat, francis), cities (all of them)

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why?

morgan would probably consider her resourcefulness and ability to make the most of a shit situation her strong point, and other people probably envy her individuality. brat’s devil may care attitude is something everyone else in the club wishes they could have but if u ask him it’s his killer ring collection. francis values his resilience (it’s not resilience, it’s refusing to come to terms with his own needs lol) and i think outsiders would just say his overall physical appearance is enviable though he puts little attention into it. as for alek other people would definitely say His resilience is commendable but he could never see it, he would probably say some dumb shit like how long he can hold onto the same chapstick without losing it

[cowboyshit]

@adampage tumblr did a dumbass thing and messed up the read-more to where I couldn’t put it under one so I had to delete your ask and I’m making a separate post for this disaster of a ramble hoooo boy i hope you’re ready for what you’ve unleashed

adampage  asked: ma’am I know you’re high off your rocker but if you have time would you please critique hangman’s playlist for me bc I want to know your thoughts 🥰 anyway yeehaw

OH MY GOD yes???? yes I fucking WILL?????? let’s just pump the breaks on what i was doing right the fuck now, get his playlist in front of me (even though ive been listening to it nonstop and have so many things to ALREADY SAY) and talk about this shit. im sorry if this isn’t coherent im pry just gonna ramble. (edit to add now that I’m done: ITS FREAKING 3252 WORDS LONG LMAO OH MY GOD)

first and foremost. I Love It. let’s just slap that down. get that out of the way. ITS SO GOOD. SO FUCKING GOOD. also this is going under a readmore cause YEAH. it’s THAT LONG.

let’s start first with mr. adam ‘i taught graphic design when i was 20 and learned adobe illustrator and photoshop to design my own tshirts when i was an indie wrestler’ page’s cover image. wait. no. back up - look at the profile image he chose for his profile. it’s not a selfie. it’s not a picture he snapped with his camera. it’s a screenshot of the “has been drinking” moment on aew dynamite. what a lovable FOOL. he really saved that and put that as his profile pic im skjdfkjfd okay now swing back to the anxious millenial design with the signed hangman adam page for the cover. he designed that. I swear he did. I swear he did that. I could be wrong but I just feel it in my bones. that was him. also, THAT should have been the vintage shirt. cowboy shit is cute but ANXIOUS MILLENNIAL COWBOY? I NEED THAT AS THE SHIRT!

okay now let’s get into the songs. wait. before i go through it I do want to say something about the playlist overall.

I can’t decide if this is because he shares so many similarities to the character hangman adam page, but so many of these songs apply to his character like, this fucking playlist plays like a hangman adam page THE CHARACTER playlist. like this is the playlist i’d find on 8tracks back when that was the “thing” in fandom where every song makes me go “OMG THAT IS THAT CHARACTER” like. I don’t know if he did that purposefully as an extension of the character? or if it just happens to line up because of how similar he is and his story is to his character but SOME of these songs wooooo boy they get deep dont they? when you compare them to the character?

okay. songs.

so I know some of these, especially the classics, summertime of course, but for the ones I didn’t know I love them so much. they have such a vibe that just fits him, and they’re all so good???

rather low by nick shoulders is one I didn’t know and I fucking LOVE it. and look. it goes from Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks. Long Time Gone about being away from the country life, from home and if my THEORY is right about this playlist hitting the character, hangman is struggling with being lost, without a family. it goes from that to rather low, which talks about not being welcome at home. like “I told you once I told you twice, I’m steeped in verse and cursed in vice” ajdskjds GOOD lyrics. beat slaps. song slaps. I love it.

okay so we go roll on mississippi which is soft compared to the two upbeat songs that just hit us before. calms you down after that high energy beat rather low had. lets you breathe. AND it’s got a sad, soft, longing pull to it, falling in with more of those “lost” from home themes. “You're the childhood dream that I grew up on. Roll on Mississippi, carry me home. Now I can see I've been away too long.” UGH! and also, it’s just a good fucking song.

then we go to a song i haven’t heard and love, going places by aubrie sellers. it’s a little bit funkier, but still soft. also groovy as FUCK. and it obv talks about GOING places. so maybe the first three songs were about the home he’s left behind, but now it’s about where he’s going. and man this song just SLAPS.

A CLASSIC is next, 1970 something illegal smile by john prine. it has that classic soft croon, such a good country sound and it’s a little bit playful. it makes you wanna smile and sway back and forth. it’s a good song. fun. but it’s almost a little bit. dark? “ Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone. No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun. Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls, tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls. I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?” it just makes me think of when his character “killed” joey ryan. I could be looking too far into it but, that’s what popped into my head.

OKAY NOW this next one. fuck yeah I DIG this song. I hadn’t heard this song and it quickly went into my liked songs. and if we’re following his character, the lyrics hit HARD. “ I've lost the will to try this worthless lullaby. Its melody won't fly me past oblivion. I bet it would be nice to find that paradise, a world of sparkling light beyond the setting sun. But I don't dream anymore” ugh !!!!!!! UGGGHH!! SO GOOD?? and even the slight upbeat to it. “would if I could but I don’t dream anymore” uuuuggghhh SO GOOD. love this song. one of my faves of the whole list for sure.

the next two back-to-back are CLASSICS and fit the hangman adam page character so damn perfect. i’ve even looked at lyrics from merle haggard’s i don’t want to sober up to night for adam in the past akjfdkjdsf it’s fucking perfect. and then followed by dwight yoakam’s honky tonk man?! amazing. we go from from fucking heart-wrenching lyrics if you think about them for him: “ I don't want to sober up tonight. I don't want to act like things are alright, and I don't want to change just to make you think I'm happy. That's my right, I don't want to sober up tonight. I want to keep my mind a little hazy. I don't care if all my friends think I'm crazy. The way I treat myself I might be a little crazy But that's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight. I'm here to drown another day of misery. I'm in here to spend one night without a mem'ry and the way I'm drinking now there won't be any memory. But it's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight” to HONKY TONK MAN. HONKY. TONK. MAN. “ Well I'm a honky tonk man and I can't seem to stop. I love to give the girls a whirl to the music of an old jukebox, but when my money's all gone, I'm on the telephone singing, hey hey mama can your daddy come home?” ajhsdjksdjkf like. look. partying hangman, drunk, swinging a girl around in the country bar???? cause he refused to sober up and just wanted to have fun? anyways regardless if there’s a connection or if im reaching, these are some good classics to pull out right here. honky tonk man will ALWAYS bring the party back up.

another song I didn’t know but now love? happy reunion by colter wall? this is a good freaking cowboy song??? and it’s a cute story???? about what a cowboy does during his day??? what the fuck? riding along the range with his dog, helping the cow, getting the calf back that’d gotten lost???? CUTE? anyways this is a vibin as HELL song and if it’d come out when I was still raising cows my ass woulda been blasting this shit as I drove to feed the herd for SURE. this song is a whole ass vibe and I’m digging it.

okay. walk through fire by yola? another i didn’t know (which - so far it seems all the songs that arent classics - spare dixie chicks - are from 2019) and I am obsessed with???? it’s so good? and fuck just such a good love song??? “Standing on the side of the river. Staring across the great divide. I'd give all my gold and silver just to get to the other side. Your love is like a rescue vessel, carries me through the night through these flames of destruction. I know you're gonna make it right. I know, I know you're gonna save my life.“ LIKE? HENLO????????? FUCK!!!! THATS SO GOOD. that whole song I could post all the lyrics tbh. and the way she CROONS it ugh. yeah. I love that song.

FUCKIN YES. DOLLY FUCKIN PARTON. youre not gonna make a country playlist and not include a dolly parton song boy i KNOW IT. and the song choice??? hm? remind you of a CERTAIN COWBOYS STRUGGLE WITH NOT HAVING A HOME???? “What difference does it make which way I go, got an empty feelin' down inside. Still I need to stay alive and who can tell what waits beyond this road. I'm a drifter” ajdfshjsd god I love dolly. and of COURSE he does too. i’m so pleased by this choice I can’t stop smiling. ugh. love this. love dolly.

sandpaper oneside, rubber other by the bobby tenderloin universe what do you know? another 2019 song I didn’t know and yet absolutely LOVE. I also am loving how he does a mix of classics with newer (but still almost classic-country sounding, maybe like. classic meets modern) country music in this playlist. AND WHAT A SONG. it’s so good? and again, just makes me think of the character. “there are two minds inside me. that’s one life too many. but i keep moving slow on both sides, strong as I can be.” tell me that doesnt make you think of hangman adam page. and it has such a... sad vibe. “i cant believe the things i am. as much a lion as a lamb” !!!!!!!!!!! ugh such a GOOD LINE. THAT SLAPS. LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh this song. especially the back vocals of the woman that comes in later on? it’s like. ethereal. beautiful. fucking beautiful and almost haunting. paired with the sad lyrics? UGH. gorgeous.

long white line by sturgill simpson i do know and LOVE and it’s got a fun, uplifting cowboy beat following the more slow, sad croon of the last song. it’s SO COUNTRY. the way it’s sung? SO COUNTRY. and also ajdfskjsd adam. “I woke up my baby was gone without her I don't need no home” and “Gonna' push this rig 'til I push that girl out of my mind. If somebody wants to know what's become of this so and so tell em' I'm somewhere looking for the end of that long white line” kjdjkfdkjf this is just such a country song, and it fits SO well, especially after that previous pick.

now we go from two new songs to another classic. another (i think) 1970s country hit. lonesome, on’ry and mean is SUCH a classic country song. it has that good old sound, and the story it tells too. and just, I can’t stop thinking about hangman just “ Been driving these highways, been doing things my way. It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean.” ajdskjflkf it’s fair to say that character IS lonesome, on’ry and mean right now. anyways, fun country song regardless and I DIG the addition.

okay back to a newer song and holy shit. this is my personal favorite of the new songs he introduced me to. this song I LOVE this song. fuuun FUN beat, makes me want to fucking GROOVE. I love love love this, and I love the way the singer sings? it just makes me wanna UGH. just wanna sway to it. the whine in the croon I just love. and the BEAT. the beat is so fucking good. and the lyrics? “I'm that wholesome Midwestern boy that you want to bring home to your mama. Even though I bring you joy, baby I'm not the toy you wanna play with at night. Too many things I've seen. Too many people and places I've been. I'm thinking about doing those things I shouldn't be doing. Something I've never done before. I want something to fuck me up. Need somebody to fuck me up. Everyone feels like it. Fuck me up, fuck me up, fuck me up” ajdsjkds I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH “Well I might go and get drunk and stoned 'cause it's better than being only crazy. If I ever come back, wherever I end up at is where I was supposed to be.” it’s so perfect for his character it drives me crazy. this is a song I’d listen to and first, groove to, and then be like THIS SONG IS HANGMAN. love this song. absolutely a favorite.

the next song though. the next song. fucking hangman adam page and his love of biscuits. southern biscuits by seasick steve oh. my. god. this BOY. THIS COUNTRY BOY. THIS BISCUIT LOVIN COUNTRY BOY. this is such a damn good addition. not only is it so fucking country, almost. spoken/sung? the soft hum with the fucking banjo??? and of COURSE of course he knows and loves this song I can’t with him. and it hits you with the: “ Southern biscuits, nothin' better in the world 'less they're made for you, by your southern girl.” and I go UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

two new songs so guess what? classic time. BALANCE. HE’S KEEPING BALANCE. I swear he’s done this purposefully and I could be crazy I could be giving him more credit than is due but I swear he’s picked the arrangement of songs too. because this is too coincidental. so, we’ve got our classic livin on the run by david allan coe. what a DARK song to go with. about a man who murders a woman and lives on the run (again, can’t help but think of the joey ryan murder thing, but hey. that’s just me grasping for straws) regardless if it ties or not, it’s a good classic and it’s fun to croon to even if its uh. dark but sung like. upbeat? almost???

okay, another classic and, to me, one of the sexiest songs on this playlist. I fucking love this song. it’s sexy with an underlying of dark. she literally seduces and knocks the guy out and robs him blind and he’s STILL craving her summer wine like. this song is SO GOOD. so fucking good. the way the music swells with the storytelling is beautiful. “Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring, my summer wine is really made from all these things. Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time, and I will give to you summer wine” is just so ajkdfskjdfs ugh i love this song

and guess what? two classics so we’re swinging to a newer song. left turn on a red light by blackfoot. oof. I didn’t know this song and it hit me, it’s so good and I know im saying that about all of them but Honestly. “ Sun shines down on the desert, and it seems to make my life a haze, and I dream of my childhood sweetheart,and the freedom that I had in those days.” UGH. “ Will I always be a rambler? Will the ones I love always keep tellin' me, "You stare too long in the mirror, son, someday you'll be too blind to see.” HELLO???? those lyrics? SO GOOD. and again applying them to hangman just makes me FERAL SCREAM.

cowboys and hippies by cody jinks is such a hangman song it’s almost unreal. if I was going to REALLY reach I’d say it almost reminds me of the way the crowd pulls him back. “At some old honkytonk bar that I know by the smell, some old drunk on a barstool on a Merle Haggard tune. That's my kind of room. Raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys. They don't care about no trends, they don't care about songs that sell. Yeah, tomorrow I'll be gone, so tonight everybody just sing along, raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys” GOOD LYRICS. this has the same sad undertones too as a lot of these songs have too.

ugh. I love him sincerely for this next one. blue skies is one of my favorite songs, but blue skies by willie nelson? YES. my grandpa used to play willie nelson ALL THE TIME and I love this version. an uplifting song to follow the heavier songs. I’d like to think of a hangman who has the blue skies from now on. all of his blue days gone. this song is such a classic (cover) that just. good pick. I love this.

alright, so we’ve got a classic but he’s chosen the version from bojack horseman which makes me think that might’ve been the first time he heard it, but that’s neither here nor there. stars is a BEAUTIFUL song. and boy am I happy we had blue skies before this cause fuck. how sad? how emotional?????? “People lust for fame like athletes in a game, we break our collarbones and come up swinging, some of us are downed some of us are crowned, and some are lost and never found” fuck. fuck fuck fuck. and the last two lines, thinking about hangman? “So if you don't lose patience with my fumbling around, I'll come up singing for you, even when I'm down.” FUCK. my HEART. good pick but OUCH. good but ow.

summertime by orville peck is next BLESS finally an orville song I was gonna lose it on him if he put a playlist and DIDN’T include an orville song. interesting though he went with summertime, the newest, and not any of the ones off pony. but! it follows stars well. its soft, lull, and the lyrics are so hangman now that I put it in this context. “Catch 'em by surprise and chasin' the horizon, nothing holds me down. Askin', "Where the time's gone?" Dreamin' with the lights on, tryna keep your eyes on something along the rise" anyways I know YOU know this song well it’s so fucking good. has that same soft pull a lot of these songs have. the way that chorus swells though? the secondary vocals??? ugh. yeah this was a great choice, I’m glad he went with summertime. it fits the vibe of this playlist so well.

we’re ending on a song with such a country sound to it (i mean all of these do), a bit more upbeat, a bit more funky. “Some say I'm a wild man, drink too much nectar from the corn” and also “Oh the school, it wasn't for me. I earned my stripes a different way I learned to sing harmony and go play out on the stage” definitely makes me think of hangman for SURE. it’s a funky song to end on, and if you keep listening to the playlist on repeat like I do, it even falls into long time gone really well.

and of course this is assuming you’re meant to listen to them one after the other and not on shuffle. I’m sure it still works on shuffle but I LOVE the flow of this playlist listening to it one after the other.

love this whole playlist. and my identifying it with the character could TOTALLY be reaching, but of course I’m going to think of him and analyze his selection of *these* songs specifically to put out to all of us. out of EVERY song he likes. he didn’t include... hmm cowboy take me away, for example? shoulda been a cowboy??? the vibe of the overall playlist FITS “anxious millenial cowboy” it has an underbelly of sadness to it. and I dig the fuck out of that.

overall 10/10 I love this fucking playlist thank you goodnight

[goraturtle]

1 - 43 please!

WHEWWWWW, i told myself i’d do these questions for two of my main current ocs i play in weekly motw sessions, Astrid and Frankie, if i got any, so let’s goooooo

under a readmore bc this is long and i’m not evil

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Astrid - if she’s with someone? Astrid could probably sit in companionable silence for hours, and she’s very much a “falling asleep on people as a love language” kind of person, so if she trusts u and has time to kill she Will fall asleep on you. If she’s by herself waiting for something to happen or already twitchy to begin with? she could probably stand like 3 minutes before getting agitated and pacing around or finding something to do

Frankie - if she’s ever in a spot where she can’t think of anything to do, she will Find something to do and then get so absorbed in it she won’t move an inch over the course of literal hours. either that or if she’s with people she’ll be content to just laze around and hang out

How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Astrid - not very easy at all, she’s more likely to roll her eyes at you if you try to say something funny or elbow you sharply in the ribs if she doesn’t approve of your joke lol

Frankie - extremely easy, frankie is generally pretty easygoing + especially loves to make other people laugh

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

Astrid - this kid is kind of a mess so she’s very much one of those “go over everything in your head that could possibly go wrong in the future” kind of people, which, as you can imagine, doesn’t rlly help with sleep

Frankie - for plot reasons [tw terminal illness ///] (ie. Frankie is actually extremely ill and her backstory is that she came to town seeking a magical cure to save her own life) Frankie is usually so bone weary she doesn’t need a routine. From a young age she’s been good at falling asleep wherever/whenever she wants, but these days the second she hits a slightly cushioned piece of furniture, she’s out like a light (and also a very heavy sleeper)

How easy is it to earn their trust?

Astrid - surprisingly easy if you’re a decent person. she might still be slow to open up but that doesn’t mean that trust isn’t there. for all her prickliness, Astrid likes to believe in the good in people (to her frustration)

Frankie - Not that easy actually! Frankie likes to believe in the good in people too, but she tends to be highly suspicious of strangers

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Astrid - depends on the person, very VERY difficult if you’re someone she’s already trusted bc she has a hard time wrapping her head/heart around betrayal (even if she projects otherwise) but if you’re just some rando it’s easy to land yourself on her shitlist

Frankie - Also not easy, she doesn’t mistrust unless you give her a reason to. She’s just pretty neutral on people and tries to cover her bases until she’s got cause to believe otherwise

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Astrid - my baby was a thief for most of her life before getting scooped up and conscripted into being a superhero, so in general she does not give a shit about the law

Frankie - you know, for a law school dropout you’d think Frankie would care more about laws, but she doesn’t. not even a little bit.

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Astrid - I think seeing happy families for her is a unique trigger, reminds her of when her mom was still around and when her twin siblings were babies. She was separated from the twins for years, and has reconnected with one of them, so I think even spending time w/ her little sis has been triggering major nostalgia as well. She wants to tell her baby sister more about how things were (Caroline was too little to retain most memories from back then) but doesn’t want to push too hard, and doesn’t know how to open up about memories she’s kept close for years. The feeling is painful, but little by little she’s learning to cope w/ it and appreciate it.

Frankie - Happy families is probably a trigger for Frankie as well, since she left home after highschool after getting into a dumb argument w/ her dad. She was always going to go home after getting her law degree, but got her diagnosis + discovered the existence of magic and that changed everything. That nostalgia is extremely painful for her, and she tries to block it out as much as possible, since she knows that the next time she sees her parents it’ll either be after she figures out a cure for herself or once she gives up completely and goes home to accept her fate

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

Astrid - she was a bit of a gregarious wildchild so it was a lot of exasperated “get DOWN from there” “Astrid stop RUNNING” “Don’t forget to hold my hand when we cross the street!!!”s from her mom lol. poor woman.

Frankie - Frankie was a very shy little kid, so it was a lot of gentle coaxings from her parents for her to speak up

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Astrid - fuck yeah she does, hers was probably “fuck you”

Frankie - absolutely. she probably swore the first time after hearing her dad cuss or something, so it’d be something like “son of a bitch” or something (her dad probably lost his mind laughing after he heard her say it, and her mom would NOT have been happy w him lol)

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

Astrid - She hasn’t told her baby sister that she was a thief before her current gig, and that makes her feel bad honestly

Frankie - the lie by omission about her general health and why she came to town in the first place. it haunts her literally every single day.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Astrid - she does not ask questions, probably acts like she understands/is above the conversation but you could definitely catch her side-eyeing people or eavesdropping to try and understand

Frankie - outright is like ‘haha what’

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Astrid - will scratch herself on every single inanimate object she can reach, scowling the entire time

Frankie - complain very loudly to incite sympathy and help

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Astrid - she generally wears a lot of black/dark blue. She looks good in dark blue, but she also looks great in brighter jewel tones (she won’t wear them though bc she thinks it’s ‘Too Much’)

Frankie - she wears a TON of color all the time, think tacky buttondowns every single day, but she thinks she looks best in that soft peachy kind of orange (and she’s absolutely right)

What animal do they fear most?

Astrid - *takes a long draw off an old wooden pipe* Mankind

Frankie - she was kind of woodsy as a kid, living in montana, so i don’t think she’s really afraid of any animals. maybe a healthy respect for bears? now that she’s a werewolf i don’t think she’s scared of any animals at all

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Astrid - definitely an on-the-spot thinker

Frankie - she’s very careful about what she says, generally, but she can blurt stuff out if she’s feeling emotional/not in control

What makes their stomach turn?

Astrid - cruelty in general. She’s lived a hard life and isnt afraid to punch hard, but she doesn’t understand delighting in someone’s suffering

Frankie - thoughts of impending inescapable death

Are they easily embarrassed?

Astrid - depends, most things won’t rattle her but I think genuine affection when she isn’t expecting it will get her a little flustered

Frankie - no she’s a rock. the only thing that could make her blush would be like a genuine romantic confession + someone being interested in her in that way

What embarrasses them?

whoops, see above

What is their favorite number?

Astrid - does not care

Frankie - 420

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Astrid - she’d probably roll her eyes and be like “Don’t be stupid, do I really have to explain something so obvious to you?”

Frankie - “Well first of all if I wanna kiss them on the lips it’s romantic”

Why do they get up in the morning?

Astrid - more habit than anything most days, but she gets up for her little sister, for her teammates, and in the hopes that they’ll be able to find the other twin, her brother, very soon

Frankie - very much does not want to die or let down the people who have supported her since coming to down.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Astrid - she’d get possessive but ONLY in private, afterwards. Astrid would react off the cuff and get pretty pissy, but get even angrier at herself for lashing out + leave/avoid the person for a while to try and control herself

Frankie - I don’t think she’s used to being possessive so it would take her completely by surprise. She’d get very hurt, and wouldn’t necessarily be aloof, but she’d try to remove herself from the situation so she’s ‘not in the way’. She’d probably get pissed at herself for even feeling hurt, when it’s not like she’s in any position to be laying the foundation for a future anywhere

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Astrid - thief, so. she will definitely just take that shit provided there’s nothing else to make her hesitate (ie. it’s not a special trinket/memento and provided the person she’s stealing from isn’t struggling to make ends meet)

Frankie - I can’t see her getting envious over a possession or anything honestly

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

Astrid - yeah, why not honestly. I think she’d be fine talking generally about it w/ anyone. She does NOT want to hear any details about her two madly in love middle aged coworkers fucking, though, please no

Frankie - definitely. not a lot of romantic experience, but Frankie is old hat at hookups/one night stands and doesn’t shy away from talking about it if asked. I think she’s more embarrassed about never having been in a real relationship than she is about her sexual history

What are their thoughts on marriage?

Astrid - her mom never got married (she has a different father from the twins, and in both cases the dad fucked off and left after her mom realized she was pregnant) and she is terrified of letting people down, so at the moment she isn’t rlly excited about that kind of thing. Her ex, Charlie, also betrayed her and hurt her pretty badly, and even though they were teenagers Astrid still thought of her as being The One, so she’s doubtful about ever finding or wanting to find a replacement. She’s still young and traumatized though, and I can easily see her mind changing

Frankie - literally domestic life would be bliss for her, but she doesn’t even let herself think about a serious relationship, let alone marriage, bc she does not anticipate living long

What is their preferred mode of transportation?

Astrid - she had this shitty old 2003 chevy silverado she drove for years that she’s still got a soft spot for, even if she’ll swear up and down to any witness that she hates the damn thing

Frankie - she’s got a little prius-c bc i wanted to shove her into a clown car, but she grew up on her parents’ horse farm in montana and tbh. nothing can beat horseback for her.

What causes them to feel dread?

Astrid - these days? being alone/feeling exposed. She’s gotten used to her backup. Also thinking about her lost twin brother has been a major source of dread/pain for her lately

Frankie - when she wakes up in the morning and the body aches and chills are worse than the day before

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

Astrid - no and if she caught someone lying to her just to save her feelings she’d be SO mad, prepare to get ur ass beaten by this maladjusted 5′1 twenty five year old

Frankie - definitely not. which is hypocritical as hell for her, all things considered

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Astrid - she sets very high standards for herself that she can’t possibly meet, so no. she’s still trying to feel like she belongs as a superhero

Frankie - usually, but obviously her lying about her health is a major blind spot where she becomes extremely hypocritical

Who do they most regret meeting?

Astrid - i’d say on the surface she says she regretted meeting her ex, Charlie, but that’s not true, not even a little bit. She’s still heartsick over everything that happened between them

Frankie - there was an incident with a werewolf hunter (who Frankie had helped to save the life of) going after Lou and Selene. Lou got shot (Frankie healed him) and the two of them had to kill her, which was obviously traumatizing for them. Frankie still wishes that they’d never even seen the hunter in the first place and regrets saving her life

Who are they the most glad to have met?

Astrid - when she was conscripted into the superhero biz and given her powers, she was put onto a team with two other supers named Arsenal and Bullet (the other player characters, real names are Heather and Cyrus), who are middle aged pros very used to the field. Astrid’s only 25 so they naturally kind of leaned into the parent relationship, and Astrid loves them so much. It was rocky at first because Astrid was adjusting and wasn’t even sure she wanted to be there, but they have been so patient and kind at this point i think Astrid would literally do anything for them

Frankie - the other player characters, again (two twins named Selene and Lou who are members of the local werewolf pack. Frankie got bit in the first session to see if a werewolf’s healing abilities could cure her. It didn’t work), but especially Selene. They’ve been bonding a lot lately and as much as Frankie wants to keep everyone at bay in case she fails and has to leave town in the middle of the night, everyone she’s met in town has made a big impact on her.

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Astrid - her only ‘joke’ is that she rolls her eyes constantly. in the early games when she was still too emotionally constipated to really chat with Arsenal/Heather and Bullet/Cyrus i made her roll her eyes like every 3 seconds. She doesn’t think she’s a very funny person and spent a lot of time growing up trying to focus on keeping herself fed/safe so she feels awkward trying to crack jokes + has a (correct) feeling that most of her ‘stories’ from her teenage years would horrify Heather and Cyrus

Frankie - she’s been very cagey about details about her personal life in-game, but I am very excited for her to tell the story about when a horse kicked her and broke 3 ribs when she was like 8

Could they be considered lazy?

Astrid - definitely not. this girl would not know how to relax if you paid her

Frankie - if she’s stoned? yes. (she self medicates)

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Astrid - hard, but she also doesn’t seek validation from other people. A pep talk from her two favorite work parents would probably go a long way (which is probably a small reason why she doesn’t ask for that from them, since she’s a little self-punishing)

Frankie - easy enough throughout the day when she’s busy, but feelings like that tend to come for you when things get quiet

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Astrid - not used to people coming to her bc they’re excited, usually ppl come to her w/ Problems, but she’d be very supportive, if a bit awkward

Frankie - VERy supportive, 10/10, will get extremely invested for your sake

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

Astrid - she sought it out with her ex Charlie, initially, when they were teenagers, and has been kind of closed off ever since, aside from the occasional one night stand here and there. Even those, she waits for it, though. Having your ex kick you out and try to hurt you does a number on the ol’ self esteem. She’s not really interested in romance currently

Frankie - doesn’t seek it out at all except in a purely sexual context when she’s bored (w/ others strictly looking for the same) bc she doesn’t feel like she’s got enough time left to give to someone right now. Also, genuinely, she’s got some self esteem issues as well and can’t fathom someone wanting her for more than just one night

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Astrid - nope, not at all. If she did she would have gotten a lot better grades in middle school/early high school (she dropped out like freshman year)

Frankie - she just writes everything down in a notebook

What memory do they revisit the most often?

Astrid - the night that Charlie told her to get lost and then tried to kill her. She hasn’t come to terms with it yet.

Frankie - the last time she saw her parents. When her dad lost his temper and said “If you’re gonna walk out that door then don’t come back” and she, in all of her 18 year old stubbornness, followed directions to the letter. She had a good relationship w/ her dad, they’re both just stubborn and stupid. she wishes she could have repaired things sooner

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

Astrid - extremely easy, she doesn’t exactly see herself as having a leg to stand on.

Frankie - easy, everyone fucks up, she’s more interested in communication and willingness to make things better than she is in perfection

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Astrid - EXTREMELY sensitive

Frankie - fairly sensitive, she’s very self aware of her shortcomings but stays quiet about them since most of them are really only apparent to her

How do they feel about children?

Astrid - loves kids, terminal big sis syndrome. will never want her own bc she’s terrified of fucking up and thinks she would make a bad mom

Frankie - likes kids, once again doesn’t rlly think about them as being a possibility for her. When she’s cured and ready to start considering a future (the gm isn’t gonna kill her i trust her too much we’re just in this for the angst) i think she’ll really want children, she’d consider it a privilege to raise a child. Also she’d be the perfect dad joke lesbian

How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

Astrid - she went from a lonely thief to a superhero being slowly reunited w/ her family, plus she’s made a new kind of family in the process. All she wants is to find her baby brother right now, and she’ll do anything to make sure he’s safe and sound.

Frankie - so bad it hurts. what started out as her being purely scared of dying has also quickly turned into her wanting to live and stay more with these people she’s met.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Astrid - “Girls.”

Frankie - “Haha, why, you interested? *winks*” (but also lesbian as well)

[onstarsandiron]

Band AU Outline

Because where else am I going to put this?

[Lol I made it long, it’s under the readmore]

Scene 1 is Jax is trying to get coffee for his shitty boss and this asshole bumps into him, spills it all over him, and has the goddamn nerve to not stick around. Jax doesn’t know how he feels about the $50 bill casually thrown at him before Asshole runs off

Scene 2 is Robb arriving late to after school rehearsal and smelling faintly like coffee and his stupid brother is there and sneers at him because Eric is sooooo perfect and Eric gets to be the one that plays the violin, the instrument that everyone likes, and Robb is here playing the bass. Well fuck you, Eric, because Robb’s a damn good bass player and he actually likes how it sounds, thank you very much. If he’d gotten stuck with the viola he would have killed himself; he’d literally be second fiddle to Eric.

Scene 3 is Jax on his lunch break talking to Ana about their bassist or something I think? 

Scene 4 is Robb secretly practicing his electric bass in a quiet part of the mansion, like he always does, playing along with youtube videos and learning whatever he feels like

Scene 5 is Jax arriving at the venue and finally feeling the stress of the day wash off a little

Scene 6 is Robb arriving at the venue; he’s got a genuine ticket, but he brought his electric bass to try and say he’s part of the opening act or something and get backstage to try and get an autograph (maybe got dared to get one?) This goes, of course, wrong when the stage runner insists on personally seeing him to the correct dressing room saying they’ve been looking for their goddamn bassist all over the place, where the fuck have you been? and just shoves him in 

Queue: “YOU!” “Me?” Robb studied the other’s face, looking for where he’d know those features from. Suddenly it came to him. Oh. Oh no. Coffee boy. “Oh no,” Rob said, unable to help it, “Me.” 

Robb fucking OWES Jax for that bullshit, he may have payed for replacement coffee, but you can’t pay for replacement dignity, and that was his FAVORITE sweater. What’s that instrument he has? A bass? Fucking good because Barger is a no-show and they’re on in 15. 

Ana’s drums, Di does keyboard and synth, Jax is lead (only) guitar and lead (only) singer -- Di cannot carry a note to save the galaxy and Ana gets too excited and just ends up screaming more than singing (you physically cannot stop her from doing this, mind you, so mostly Jax just doesn’t give her a mic. It helps only so very much. To be fair, it is Ana’s band, so she has a certain right to do whatever she wants) They are the Dossier [Idk if I wanna include Xu and Elara in here yet; if I do, Elara’s a techie and Xu is additional tech support + Social media manager/marketing/gig booking/etc]

Queue the gang tearing up Robb’s pretty boy outfit to get grungier bc if you believe Ana started some kinda new wave bullshit band full of crooners you’re goddamn wrong. They do loud hard rock and you can die made about it. Also Jax applies Robb’s eyeliner and Robb has never had a more intimate moment with an individual without actually touching one another in his life. 

Then there’s the show. Lucky for Robb they’re playing all covers and it’s stuff that he knows. unluckily for Robb, it’s completely different to playing quietly in his tucked away chamber to youtube videos. He makes do, though. 

He’s kind of mouthing along to the words he knows and then he’s singing them quietly and then he’s singing them outright and then Jax notices and somehow there’s now been a mic placed in front of him and he’s become backup vocals now and if he believed in fake things he’d think Jax was actually pleased about this. Wow, performing sure makes your heart beat hard.

Then they’re taking a bow and off the stage before he even knows it. He thinks now he’ll be shooed off, but actually they let him watch the actual concert with them and then there’s like an after party and they let him tag along and actually he has a really good time (He gets that autograph he wanted too lol)

Like a week later he gets a call from Ana -- Di had made him sign a goddamn liability waiver including personal and emergency contact info -- and turns out that Barger skipped town for reasons which are genuinely undisclosed but 99% probably because he has a gambling problem. They need a new bassist. He worked out well in a pinch, does he think he can make practices monday at 7? 

So that’s how Robb starts sneaking around to be in this band and play little gigs here and there and it isn’t the sort of places anyone from his circle would be involved in and it isn’t so big that he’s so very worried about an internet presence (he does “”Shyly”” hide behind his hand when Di tries to get pictures for their social media). Robb like tells his mom he’s doing some extracurricular thing and turns his phone off and pays off his chauffeur to say nothing

There’s probably some cute scenes or clips of outings or something. They go thrift shopping to get Robb some actual stage clothes, they hang out with Ana’s moms, they don’t talk about Jax’s parents ever and don’t mention that Jax pretty much lives with Ana or the rotating cast of personnel through the house, there’s heart-to-hearts, there’s laughs, there’s drama, there’s friendship blossoming, walls breaking, truly incredible stuff

Then comes the inevitable. The day of the Big School Concert is also the day of the big Battle of The Bands or something. It’s some sort of contest where they play some songs and then they play one they were like assigned and they were assigned Space Oddity and one thing is that the judges are really looking for those strings but Di’s synths just aren’t cutting it; they’re timing and intonation just aren’t right. So Robb is like “Okay, you can’t ask any questions, and I’m going to be like on the wire BUT I will be there and I will bring strings. You have to trust me.” 

And then it’s Robb’s concert, and bananas things happen and he gets out of there with the bass and we’re switching back and forth between everyone being antsy and worrying and Robb booking it with this big ass piece of shit on his back and he’s in the back of the car fucking up his $300 suit. Maybe there’s a run-in with Eric? I kinda really want him to show up a little worse for ware for Jax to fuss over. 

And Jax and Ana and Di are like Bass??? Suit???? Hair half slicked back??? Are those LOAFERS??? Is that a BLACK EYE?? [one of the judges later asks the same thing and Robb just replies “We are a grunge band, ma’am]  But there’s no time to fuss! Because he rolls up literally like two minutes from going on stage!

They rush out and they play their song and it’s magical and fucking gay and Di’s going fucking ham on the piano and the whole room is vibing. Then they play a couple more songs or something idk I don’t want to like ruin this emotional high but I do need to justify the electric base being there for the next bit which issss

Di and Ana shove Robb and Jax into the dressing room and they FINALLY make out. And it’s amazing and heavy and full of emotional and physical catharsis and it’s just exactly what everyone -- robb, jax, the reader -- needs. 

And then there’s a knock on the door. Followed by “Robbert, darling, are you in there?” 

And Robb’s blood goes cold. Because of course Eric told his mother. Of course he forgot to turn his phone off. Of course, just as he finally has the things he wants, what he’s been craving for all his life, here comes his mother reminding him of what he is supposed to be. 

“What’s wrong?” Jax asks, “Who’s that?” But Robb can’t bear to say a word. It’ll all become obvious in a minute anyway. All he can do is hope that the sadness on his face shows, for once he wants his stupid face to show his goddamn emotion to the one person, and that Jax will know that’s how he really feels and won’t take this next part too personally. 

His parting words are to hand his electric bass to Jax and say, “Here, can you keep this safe for me? Valerios aren’t supposed to play these sorts of things.” 

And before Jax can say anything Robb turns away and makes his face a mask and replies, “Yes, Mother.” 

The door opens and there stands his mother, graying hair pulled into an elegant bun, still in the dress from the recital. Eric stands there too with his sharp suit, looking as if their tussle had never happened and like he didn’t need to wash blood off his rings. There were also a couple of men in suits, some of his mother’s assistants. One entered unceremoniously and silently took the bass from the room. 

“My dearest, whatever are you here for? I believe we agreed to a dinner at your favorite restaurant for your recital tonight,” it was Eric’s favorite, Robb hated the place, “This event was not on my itinerary.” 

“I apologize for the delay, Mother,” Robb said, as if he’d made them wait five minutes instead of running off across town and surely ruining their evening, “I owed a debt, and as you know that cannot be outstanding.” 

The barest hint of anger flashed over her face; she absolutely hated when he threw Valerio Family Names items back at her. He must have been hanging around with Ana too much, because he found himself relishing in having made her mad. The flash was gone almost before it was there, though, and her face was cool once more. 

“And what, pray tell, did you owe to these... people,” his mother said, eyeing Jax in a way that made Robb so angry he could feel the white hot rage in the center of his chest. But he was a Valerio, and he knew better than to show it like Ana was allowed to. 

“Did you not catch the show, Mother?” Robb asked, protectively stepping between her gaze and Jax and praying that it didn’t show his cards too thoroughly, “They required some strings accompaniment. I lent them some. Our transaction is done, I have no more business here.” 

He had so much more business here. He had results to hear. An after party to go to. Pizza to eat. Jokes to laugh at. A boy to kiss. 

But now all that business is done for. Who wants to hear results for a song played by a liar? Who wants to go to an after party or eat pizza or tell jokes with a Valerio? Who would want to kiss him after seeing who he really is: a spineless wimp who is doomed to live and die by his mother’s whims. This whole arrangement was doomed from the start, and he always knew it. He was just too happy to let himself know that. 

His mother was clearly displeased with him, but what was new? “So I see,” She said at last, “Well then, come along, no need to tarry in this... venue.” 

“Of course, Mother,” Robb said. A cool nothingness washed over him. He knew his lines. He knew his place. This was who he was. 

Robb left the room, not sparing Jax a single look over his shoulder. He told himself it was because his mother would certainly notice, and she would, but really he couldn’t bear to see whatever expression Jax was wearing -- betrayal, shock, anger? It would only break his heart further. 

As he left the room he now saw that Di and Ana were looking on in shock. Apparently they hadn’t stepped too far away. “Hey!” Ana yelled, “What’s going on?” 

“Did you not hear the entire conversation about what’s ‘going on’?” Erik asked, and Robb wanted to punch him again. Apparently Ana wanted to too, because Di instinctively reached to hold her back just as she began forward. 

“And who is this, Robbert?” his mother asked, as if they were at the zoo and she was asking which animal was in this enclosure. It was so hard for Robb to see Ana riled up without getting riled up too. 

“The leader of the band, Mother,” Robb said, carefully not naming her. She was nondescript, hard to track down by description alone. Hopefully more trouble than his mother thought worth it. He never wanted any of this night to come back to hurt the band. 

“Well, as you’ve heard, his debt is payed, so he is leaving. Say goodbye, Robbert.” 

“Goodbye,” Robb said, feeling like a dog, “Thank you for the experience.” That was as close as he could get to what he wanted to say. Thank you for being his friend, for being there for him, for letting him be dumb and clumsy, for a thousand things Ana has done for him. Her and Di and Jax. And all he can say is, “Thank you for the experience.” He makes him sick. 

And like that he turns with his mother and brother, because he is nothing but their dog. A spare for if something goes wrong. An extra to be married off for a good business deal once he’s ripe. That’s all he is and all he will ever be. 

He can hear Ana yelling after them, struggling against Di’s hold. He can picture Di’s face as he struggles between holding Ana back for her own good and letting her go because he knows she’ll at least land a hit. He tries not to picture Jax at all. 

But don’t worry because I hate sad endings but idk exactly what I want to happen but basically a few hours pass and then either Siege or Ana is like “So, when are we going?” and Jax is like “? Going where?” “To break your boyfriend out.” and idk, but it works out in the end. 

[avvidstarion]

For the album ask game... how about The Black Parade?

oh ABSOLUTELY. i LOVE you. this is all subject to change at the drop of the hat bc im wishy-washy and i love all of these songs anyway so

this got WAY too long so i am putting it under a readmore shhvkldlkdgjlkdsj

not including b-sides:

1. Teenagers- kind of a basic pick i know, BUT, in my defense, the song slaps. it’s such a fun song, especially when you’re singing it at the top of your lungs. the guitar part is super cool too- im trying to learn it rn but it’s a slow process bc im bad at guitar.

2. Mama- what can i say. it fucks. the old time-y feel, the harmonies/background vocals, the layers. the guitar goes so fucking hard. banging lyrics- “you should’ve raised a baby girl, i should have been a better son”??????? songs to be trans to.”but the shit that i’ve done with this fuck of a gun” is the kind of lyric that you can only properly convey if you’re screaming it at the top of your lungs. the whole ending is just. mind blowing

3. The End.- LISTEN!!!!!!!!! the end is WAY TOO FUCKING UNDERRATED!!!! oh my goddd i love it so much. i love it SO much. it’s such a perfect beginning to the song. the lyrics are great (”now come one, come all, to this tragic affair” if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out first hand what it’s like to be me”, “another contusion, my funeral jag. here’s my resignation, i’ll serve it in drag. you’ve got front row seats to the penitence ball, when i grow up, i want to be NOTHING AT ALL!!! SAVE ME!!! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! SAVE ME!!! TOO YOUNG TO DIE, AND MY DEAR!!! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME JUST WALK AWAY AND TAKE ME!!). the bit with the snapping and the ooooohs is fun too. such a good song, it could honestly be 1 or 2 but my ranking system isnt based in logic and makes no sense to even myself

4. House of Wolves- house of wolves was my favorite mcr song for a good chunk of time, but as a result i’m kinda burned out on it, which is why it isn’t higher.  however it is still number four  because it’s objectively a fucking amazing song. the guitar is so fuckin fun, the lyrics are great, and it’s just. fun to dance around and sing it at the top of your lungs. you better run like the devil cause they’re never gonna leave you alone!!!!! tell me i’m a bad, bad, bad, bad man!!!

5. Welcome to the Black Parade- the big man itself. the titular song. their biggest hit. a lot of people shit on wttbp for being popular and, like, pretty much the only song of theirs to ever be on the radio anymore (and even then it’s once in a blue moon), BUT. it got popular for a reason. it’s a really good song. i love the structure of it, i love how it builds and builds and builds. the lyrics are wonderfully done- “a world that sent you reelin from decimated dreams/ your misery and hate will kill us all”, the whole “do or die, you’ll never make me” stanza is The Ultimate rallying cry. and the “im just a man, i’m not a hero” is just. ughghghdlkslakdjglsdkg. the titular song of an album entirely about death and dying and misery being SO hopeful and SO upbeat really portrays the album as a whole much differently- mcr is known as The Emo Band because, yeah, their aesthetic is dark and their songs touch dark stuff but they have never been all whiney and boo-hoo-y and melancholic for the sake of melancholy. there’s always been a positive note to their music and a lot of people just don’t get that which makes me sad. anyway. wttbp is fun and i like it and i like the drums and the trumpets at the end. marching bands fuck

6. Blood- ok so the pattern here seems to be that i favor the fun songs over the slow ones, and blood sticks with that. much like with mama, i love the old time-y feel. i love that this is like a fun little bonus ditty to end the album on. the lyrics are silly and fun and jovial, and the piano is great. love it and it makes me happy

7. Disenchanted- OUGHH. OUUUUUGH. i know cancer is objectively the saddest song on the album, but disenchanted just hits different. “when the lights all went out, we watched our lives on the screen/ i hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene” just DECIMATES me, man. the acoustic guitar is a nice change of pace, and the vocal performance is just. so fucking emotional. especially the “woahhhhhhhh-ohs” at the end. great song, makes me Feel Emotions

8. The Sharpest Lives- ok so i know this is pretty much in the middle of the list, but i want to stress that i dont hate any of the songs on this album, so even the middle of the list is pretty fuckin good imo. the sharpest lives makes me go batshit.  the lyrics are so fucking wild. “a light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be” is SO fuckin sick like OH my god. what a line. also “there’s a place in the dark where the animals go/ you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow/ juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands/ drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, romeo” like WHAT?????????????? GERARD POPPED OFF W THIS ONE FOLKS!! also i love how at the beginning the whisper-y vocals bounce from ear to ear. also “so why don’t you blow me......a kiss before she goes” is fuckin hilarious. honestly this song should be higher but i havent gone through a phase where i’ve been obsessed w it yet so it stays down here for now. one day it will take hold and be all i can listen to for a month straight and THEN it will climb the ranks. 

9. Cancer- makes me cry like a liddol baby. my mom doesnt let it play in the car cause it makes her too sad. twenty one pilots covered it and it was FUCKING AWFUL so the song is kinda ruined now cause i can only think about their shitty cover. like the AUDACITY. but anyway besides that the song is heart wrenching and amazing. the hardest part of this is leavin you!!!!

10. Dead!- look, i know technically the end. and dead! are the same song/ are just continuations of each other but i’m listing them separately bc dead! is, to me, the worse of the two. not that it’s bad or anything, it just doesn’t pop off the same way the end. and all the songs before it on the list do. however i do love the guitar at the beginning and the solo, and the “one! two! one two three four! LA LA LA LAs” are super fucking fun. 

11. Famous Last Words- i used to hate this song!!!! i truly did!! it’s obvs not on the top of my list now or anything, but i have grown to appreciate it a lot more than i used to. like with wttbp, it is the silver lining of the album that betrays its optimistic side. it’s a happy final message to a dark album. the ending is fucking amazing. I am not afraid to keep on living!!!! i am not afraid to walk this world alone!!!!!!

12. Sleep- Sleep is, unfortunately, just kinda boring in comparison. i almost forgot to even put it on the list. however, i do like the “the hardest part’s the awful things that i’ve seen” and the “a drink, for the horrors that i’m in. for the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that i’ve been” lines. also the “three cheers for tyranny, unapologetic apathy!” line. but overall it’s just. eh

13. This is How I Disappear- i have. complicated feelings on tihid. on one hand, it reminds me of my favorite oc, re, and is on their playlist. on the other hand, i have grown bored with it over time. it just doesn’t stand out to me at all really. that being said, i do really like the “who walks among the famous living dead” and the “can you hear me cry out to you” stanzas. 

14. I Don’t Love You- while i dont think idly is a bad song at all, it just simply isnt my kind of song. i do think gerard’s vocals are extremely strong throughout, especially during the “when you go, would you have the guts to say/ i don’t love you like i loved you yesterday” line. like wow ok maam please continue. but overall i just dont vibe w breakup songs bc i cant relate

including b sides: 1. Heaven Help Us

2. Kill All Your Friends

3. Everything else

4. My  Way Home is Through You

my reasoning: 

heaven help us is tied for my favorite mcr song Of All Time. everything about this song is catnip for lil old me. the angsty christian imagery, the vocals, the guitar. all of it. the lyrics make me lose my mind, especially the “will you pray for me? or make a saint of me? and will you lay for me? or make a saint of- cause i’ll give you all the nails you need/cover me in gasoline/ wipe away those tears of blood again/ and the punchline to the joke is asking ‘SOMEONE SAVE US’” and the “you don’t know a thing about my sins/ or the misery begins/ you don’t know, so i’m burnin! I’m burnin!!!” parts. like i absolutely vibe with this song so fucking hard. i sing it constantly, it’s great to sing (very stimmy for me), it sounds beautiful. i am obsessed with it through and through

similarly, kill all your friends also speaks to my very soul. i can’t pick favorite lyrics bc id just have to copy and paste the whole song. i love the build-up, i love the time progression throughout the song (it’s been TEN FUCKING YEARS since i’ve been seein your faaaaaace rounnnnnd heeeere), i love the “you’ll never take me alives”. literally everything about this song makes me emo. it just Gets Me. it’s literally about my greatest fear. all my friends growing up and moving away and getting on with their lives without me, leaving me to rot in my hometown waiting for them to return. we only see each other at weddings and funerals, so it’s time to kill all your friends so we can party when the funeral ends!! it’s probably tied with heaven help us, but i’m putting it at number two just because it didn’t hook me as strongly as hhu did. it’s more of a strong, steady favorite than a “this song has latched on to my very soul and i have to listen to it on repeat over and over and over again”, if that makes sense. it’s still in my top 5 mcr songs though

i never vibed with my way home is through you. i don’t listen to it often, and i just don’t really feel it. it’s not bad, it’s just. eh.

anyway if you’ve read this far down i love you so much. thank you for listening to me ramble, mcr means a lot and i love to infodump about my music tastes. i really really appreciate being given an opportunity to do so <3

[tinycamembert]

✏️, 💕, 🎀, ⭐️, 👀, ☕️

omg so many!! thank u

✏️- favorite part about writing: i think a combination of reading it back myself, especially when i’ve figured out what i want to do w the piece and seeing it come to fruition, and also other people’s reactions to it! i feel like artists/writers/etc say this a lot but even little comments mean so so much

💕-opinion on AUs: i love AUs!!! i think most of what i write are AUs in some way and also probably what helps me retain interest in a series for a long time if there is good potential for AUs lol

🎀- favorite story: honestly my favorite story is my original work that i’ve been writing and editing for like.......5 years now? as for cct/bup, there’s this two part short story abt maribella that i love (and will not publish bc this is sfw zone lol). violaecae is also special 2 me bc its the one and only longer fic ive finished for cct!!

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration: my inspiration rarely comes in flashes, usually it’s like... a little bit of an idea that sticks in my head and i develop it over time, writing notes and additions wherever i can. for violaecae it took me a year of sitting on it to figure out how i wanted it to end. i’ve worked on my original novel for 5 years like i said, and the second one i’m working on has slowly been coming together since the summer, and i just figured out the bare bones synopsis a few weeks ago. im slow lol but it’s what works for me

👀-favorite response to one of your works: anytime someone says they’ve gone back and read it again (i think you said this abt violaecae!!), anytime someone keysmashes or yells at me LOL, or just in general when someone likes the pacing of my writing because i feel like that’s what i struggle w the most

☕️-favorite passage: here’s a long one from a prompt drabble! i don’t think i’ve ever posted this one. cct maribella. under a readmore cause its quite a few paragraphs and this is already a long ask lolol

---

Unfortunately, the flower shop isn't very busy on weekdays, which means that Bella has nothing else to do but move crates and think about Marian. 

Meanwhile, Bella's mother putters around the shop, cheerful and full of energy, and whenever a customer comes in she manages to get to them first. While her mum chatters away, Bella sits in the back and sulks.

"What is the troubling you, my dear?" She finally asks Bella during a lull, floating by to sit on a crate next to Bella's spot on the ground.

"Nothing new," Bella mutters, knowing that her mother already knows exactly what, and by extension who, she is talking about. She chooses not to mention the dream.

"Hmm," her mother contemplates. "I am thinking it is best if you are the talking to her, my flower. You are never knowing, she may be feeling the same!"

"I—uh, I don't really think it matters, Mum," Bella says, and she believes it. "I think it's too late. She probably hates me, anyway."

"Of course it is not the too late," she says, blustering. "You two are being friends and girlfriends for so long, many years, and now saying you are five months without the talking is too long? Nonsense."

Bella says nothing, only swallows the outburst of frustration rising in her chest and building in her jaw. Her mother gives her a gelatinous pat on the shoulder, sensing Bella's silent desire to end the conversation, and heads off to rearrange the flowers in the front of the shop.

After a few minutes, Bella hauls herself up from the ground, sick of feeling sorry for herself, and goes to bring a few boxes to the front.

She moves around a few new shipments until her mom puts her in charge of watering the flowers, most likely trying to keep her busy more than anything. Bella is half-heartedly spraying the arrangements around the back of the shop when the bell at the front door jangles. 

Bella's mom hurries off to welcome the customer, so she doesn't pay much attention until her mom returns to the back of the shop, three jelly arms wrapped rather forcefully around the wrist of Marian, whose panicked deer-in-headlights expression mimics exactly how Bella suddenly feels.

"She was the looking outside," Bella's mom says, her voice stern, "So I am making her to come in and talk. And please to be turning off the hose if you are not to using it, my dear."

"Uh—oh, yeah," Bella stammers. She had completely forgot she was even holding it, and there is a puddle on the ground growing in size by the second. 

"Well," Bella's mother says, seeming satisfied with her work, "I am leaving you to the talking. And good to seeing you, Marian." Marian nods hastily, still flustered, and Bella takes the opportunity to switch off the hose before it makes a mess. 

There is a moment where they both stand there silently. Marian focuses intently on some carnations to the left of her. 

"Um," Bella says, hoping that if she starts talking, she might figure out what to say on the spot and keep going. It does not work, but Marian looks up at her and they lock eyes. She looks pretty, Bella thinks helplessly. She wishes she were anywhere but here.

---