#I hope this doesn't come off as angry OP

[anachrosims]

The thing about that though, is that he didn't want people to equate the story of the War of the Ring as a direct analogue, or as allegory, to the blight of the world wars. It would be a terribly simplistic view of the Lord of the Rings (and let's be real, WWI and WWII) to say, ahh yes, against all odds, The Good Guys Prevail Although At Great Cost. That's not how history played out and it's certainly not how Tolkien thought or wrote.

Devil's advocate, though: It could absolutely be argued that his views on life and his life experiences--great personal loss as a young man even before WWI, and the close friends he lost during the war, as well as the love he held for his (future) wife, his deep love of nature, and his sincere faith as a man of the Catholic church--all of these things influenced and helped inform the visions and stories of Arda we ended up with, of course they did.

But to say the Lord of the Rings, and stories in Middle Earth, are about the World Wars, purely because of the themes of loss, war, desolation within them... really does a disservice to his writing and to the man himself.

I'm not even saying that it's wrong to draw parallels between the Great War and the wars/desolations in Middle Earth. What I'm saying is that I feel saying, "it's about x" is an extreme oversimplification that kind of misses the narrative point, and glosses over all the other thematic points in-universe, as well as forgets the actual history that led up to WWI to begin with. Hell, it even forgets the myriad of real world myths, legends, and folklore that informed how he wove his universe together.

If Tolkien had wanted to write something that was about WWI, he would have. But he wrote a whole ass mythology instead.

J. R. R. Tolkien: no, my books aren't about the war I experienced. It's just a story

J. R. R. Tolkien's works: you cannot go home, war ends entire bloodlines, you are mourning the death of your brother alone, you dug into the earth and permanently scored the land, you cannot explain what you have been through, you cannot go home, "that wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life", leaving the women behind does not save them, the young die first, you cannot go home, the parent will bury their child, you have lost the wives and you will never connect with them again, "how shall any tower withstand such numbers and such reckless hate?", you are not the same, you cannot go home, you can never go home, your father will only side with those he sees as worthy bloodlines and you cannot change his mind, it is more meaningful Not to kill, sometimes your sacrifice accomplishes nothing, you cannot go home

[robo-writing]

Hello!! I came from your single mom one shot and I am in love with how you write Logan. Could we have a worst!Logan and wife!reader at a bar and he’s getting hit on relentlessly by a girl who won’t take the hint even though he has stated that he is happily married MULTIPLE TIMES and then reader comes in and rips the girl a new asshole and Logan likes it a little too much and practically drags her home to fuck because of how hot he got from her getting angry and defending him?

How very Beth Dutton of you op! The girl that stands in front of him flashes him a smile—pearly whites, black hair that reaches down to her back, topped off with a low-cut shirt and a pair of jeans that draw the eye of everyone behind the bar—everyone except him that is.

He knows what she wants from him before she can utter a single word, eyes shamelessly moving across his body with not a hint of subtlety. A few years earlier and it might've worked, she's cute enough. A vixen, all doe-eyed and determined, if he was a younger man she might've been his type. But that's all in the past; she's cute, Logan thinks to himself, but she's not his wife. His eyes don't move from where you're standing at the bar, barely giving the girl more than a passing glance as she speaks. "Hey there, mind if I keep you company?" He almost rolls his eyes, but he keeps himself in check in hopes that he can resolve this without any trouble.

"I do unfortunately," he says, flashing the pretty gold band around his finger as he takes another swig of his beer. His fingers play with the ring around his finger, smiling to himself like a love-struck fool when he remembers what it symbolizes. He'd hope that would be the end of it, but unfortunately for him, it is.

The gal's either too drunk or too pig-headed to get the hint, so instead of backing away she leans in real close, too damn close—close enough that it starts to draw your attention from across the bar.

Suddenly your interest isn't in your drink anymore, and before you can walk closer Logan puts his hands up, mouths out lemme handle this, before speaking up again. "Listen, I'm a taken man." He says with a sigh, giving her his full attention. It doesn't deter her in the slightest, a coy smile tugging on the ends of her lips. "That's a shame. Your wife know you're here?" "She does," he nods with a smile, "and she's right over there." He points right to you, where you raise your glass with a thin-lipped smile, sarcasm evident in your body language. He can tell you're in a good mood tonight because you haven't dragged the girl by the hair yet, and he'd rather not ruin the night because she can't take a hint. Surely, she'll leave—except she doesn't. No, she does the exact opposite; she looks back and sees you, laser-focused on the two of them, and with all the audacity in the world, she fucking smiles back. You almost shatter the damn glass in your hand. "Oh, that's alright," she whispers with a wink. "Lemme go talk to her." His eyebrow damn near reaches his hairline, looking at the young girl as if she's truly lost her damn mind. Normally he wouldn't give a damn if someone wants to catch their death, but he takes pity on her for the sole reason that he really doesn't want to get kicked out. "I don't think that's a good idea." "Don't worry," she says, and to put the icing on the cake she puts her hand on his chest, loops her fingers around his dog tags and tugs him down. "I can handle myself." With that one gesture he knows she's just sealed her fate. No, you can't, he wants to say, but she's already making her way across the bar where you stand, looking like hell itself. You know he doesn't have eyes for anyone else but you, but it doesn't matter—someone else touched what's yours, so you have to remind Logan where home is. He's not really sure if he should feel happy that his girl is so protective of him, or sad that he's about to get kicked out of his favorite bar. Logan sighs and puts his beer down, reaching into his pocket and dialing 9-1-1 just as the telltale sound of glass shattering echoes across the bar. It really is a shame—he liked this bar too. The only good thing that comes from tonight—minus the visual of you with blood across your face—is the jaw-dropping sex that ensues the moment the two of you get home, remnants of rage seeping through every touch as you drag him upstairs by the collar. He's more than happy to let you take the lead, content in being your personal scapegoat if it means he gets to see you bounce on his lap like a woman possessed.

Lips intertwined, clothes askew and hair tousled. The taste of iron—a split lip, he remembers—then moans into your mouth when he remembers how you got it. Is it wrong to say you look your most beautiful when you're mad? He doesn't give a shit if it is, especially if his punishment is your pussy gripping him like a vice. He likes you like this—jealous, protective—it's what drew him to you in the first place, how you bite down on what's your and refuse to let go. From the moment you saw him you staked your claim and he was more than happy to follow you for the ride. "You like it when she touched you?" You mutter, lips pressed against his as you ride him for all your worth. Sweat beads off his brow, eyes closed in bliss, he nods his head no but it's not enough—you want to hear him say it. You teeth dig into the skin of his shoulder, a delicious groan erupting from him as you repeat yourself. "Answer me Lo, did you fucking like it?" "No, no—" he gasps, hands wandering across your body. "Wasn't even looking at her, swear to god—" "And who were you looking at?" you ask, and the answer makes your walls flutter across his cock. He lets you hear him loud and clear, giving you a lop-sided grin as he thrusts up into you.

"You, sweetheart, only you." "Louder," you moan, scratching at the expanse of his back, encouraging him. He repeats himself, fucking into your gushing cunt, his words bringing you to a new high with every thrust. His words are long, drawn out, caught in his throat as he struggles between speaking and catching his breath. "Only got eyes for you baby—fuckin' christ—" He speaks long after you've stopped, so engrossed in pleasure you can barely hear anything beyond your ringing ears and the slap of your ass against his thighs. "All yours baby, all fuckin' yours."

[moonspiritmars]

ope I just realized a big reason I was feeling really frustrated/angry on behalf of Evan with the discourse surrounding if K asked for consent or not to fix Evan's arm was because as an autistic person, Evan reads very autistic to me. So when I see people say K asked for consent and then go back and watch the scene and the words "can I try to fix that poorly healed bone," are not explicitly said, I think about all the times I have been harmed by people being vague (both on purpose and not) and not saying what they really mean. The amount of times people have said that I gave consent for something when I very much did not, because they interpreted what I said as consent to fit their narrative and actions is much too many, and for so long people wrote it off as me being naive, turned it around on me, made it my fault when I was the one harmed, the one with my boundaries violated. Oof.

I have had this happen with malicious people and I've had it with non-malicious people, and that's important because K is not malicious, I think they just care so much that sometimes they don't know where to put all that love and care. Also, I read K as neurodivergent/could see them being neurodivergent too, so this isn't me saying they were acting like a neurotypical person, I just think that even neurodivergent people sometimes get really wrapped up communicating in their own ways and forget that for some of us our understanding of language is deeply literal and reading between the lines/interpreting our words differently than what was explicitly stated can be really, really harmful for all parties involved. (sometimes I can hurt people too with my literalism! it's not all black and white obviously)

Like I said, I feel deeply for K because deep down at their core I truly believe their actions aren't about seeing people/things as objects needing to be fixed (despite it coming off that way sometimes), I just think they see themselves as inherently worthless if they are not always using all of their energy trying to help. I get that, and how it feels like you're drowning when you're not giving yourself away to people and causes because theres too much, always too much, love and care and concern and it makes you feel like you're going to implode. One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that sometimes my need to help, to fix, to care, to give, is a little bit more about having control than it is just wanting to help. When you grow up with chronic instability you claw and scratch at anything that might anchor you, and often it's the need to feel like you have worth, you mean something to other people, and you're willing to give yourself away as long as it means you have stable footing beneath you. All of that is to say that I do not blame K (or other people with similar circumstances to mine) for having an unhealthy relationship to control, it's just that in learning so many of my actions are also attached to deep insecurity I've been allowed to finally start healing the way I deserve to heal, and I just want that for others too.

Anyway I need to get my Sam post out before the next episode because I didn't finish it and then watched last nights episode and that was a huge mistake because now I have even more I wanna write about. She is such a complex and beautiful character and every single one of her actions speaks to who she is at her core and I just wanna give her a hug. Truly feels like the peak example of being alone doesn't always mean you're lonely, and being lonely does't always mean you're alone.

anyways pls don't get mad at me I'm sorry if anything came off wrong, all I was hoping to do was explain why I was feeling the way I was in case it helps others understand why they were feeling similar/different things during that scene. Like I said, I love K, and also this wasn't slander towards anyone who isn't autistic (also autism manifests in different ways), I just realized how my experience as an autistic person with adhd always really shapes how I view the media I consume and found it illuminating in this scenario especially.

(can you tell I've been chronically misunderstood my entire life by the way I'm prematurely apologizing also people being upset with me makes my tummy hurt because I take it really personally and would rather keep the peace than hold firm to my opinion at times)

((but I mean if I said something wrong I wanna know asddfgjrlgk wow y'all are learning a whole lot about how my brain works through a lil post about dnd oops))

[recreationalfanfics]

Tengen with a Tamaranean! Reader

Fandoms: DC, Demon Slayer

A/N: YEAH, NO, MY BRAIN HAS BEEN HAVING THOUGHTS. If you don't know what Tamaraneans are; they are an alien race in DC comics that Starfire comes from. Obv a Tamaranean would be too OP in Demon Slayer. ANOTHER GREAT THING ABOUT TAMARANEANS IS THAT POLY RELATIONSHIPS ARE NORMALIZED

Warning: Reader kisses characters out of nowhere (this is because Tamaraneans CAN speak other languages but they have to kiss someone in order to do it)

- NAH, BRO, HE AND HIS WIVES ARE INSTANTLY IN LOVE AND YOU CAN NOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

- THE WAY YOUR HAIR SETS ON FIRE!? AMAZING. THE BEAUTIFUL GLOWING AND CALM AURA AROUND YOU!? IMMACULATE. YOUR STRENGTH AND KIND HEARTED NATURE!? FLASHY.

- He was probably fight a demon and you had just crash landed on Earth and while you had no idea what was going on, you stepped in when you saw the large and ferocious demon looming over him and used one of your star bolts.

- To be honest, I honestly think Tengen wouldn't think too much about aliens (my guy is wearing crystals) probably thought you were a demon at first but then you smiled at him and his brain went blank. Yeah, no, definetly not a demon.

- HIS WIVES CATCH UP, THEY'RE CONFUSED ABOUT WHO YOU ARE but are very fascinated by you. But then when they ask you questions, you can't understand them and you try to signal that to them with your hands but then you sighs and kiss the nearest one.

- That one happened to be Suma and she was shocked and when you pulled away, her face was beat red and she looked like she was about to faint. EVERYONE ELSE WAS BAFFLED BECAUSE THIS HAPPENS IN THE SPAN OF, LIKE, 30 MINUTES.

- "I'm sorry about that, I couldn't understand you before and I could not speak your language. My people overcome that obstacle through lip contact, I hope you understand."

- And they just accept it tbh. You seem very earnest and noble and you did save Tengen's life.

- NO BECAUSE YOU STAYING WITH THEM AND HELPING WITH CHORES. Lifting Hina up when things are too high for her to reach so she doesn't have to deal with smug Tengen, Holding Suma because you're so warm and your arms feel so strong and safe when she gets a bit too hysterical, and Makio getting all flustered when you tell her how beautiful she is when she's angry and she reminded you of a fierce war queen.

- TENGEN LITERALLY THINKS EVERYTHING YOU DO IS FLASHY. The way you can lift up all three of his wives and HIM with ease, the way you fly around with such joy and look so angelic as you do so, and how you try to support his fellow Hashira against demons and is always impressed by your strength in battle.

- BRO, IN ALL FAIRNESS, They were hesitant to confess to you because yeah, you were kinda flirty and free in your own sense due to the nature of your people, but then when they ask about polygamy and stuff and you tell them that it's not uncommon on your planet and that you wish to find your love or lovers, then they all perk up and bring up the idea of you becoming their partner.

- AND OF COURSE YOU ACCEPT. They have been nothing but kind and gracious to you and it didn't hurt that they were all so attractive.

- At night, they all definetly cuddle as close as possible to you because of how warm you are so you often times have to be in the middle (Tengen and/or Suma are the blanket stealers, I know it-)

- Your people are very affectionate so sometimes your lips might heat up during kisses and leave light burn marks on their skin. You apologize as Makio just pouts and gives you the silent treatment, Tengen is just smirking because tbh it's kinda hot to him, and Suma is a flustered mess along with Hinatsuru whose currently helping apply ointment.

- But yeah, no, Tengen would be showing you off all the time and ALSO, THE EGO BOOST HE'D GET WOULD BE INSANE BECAUSE HE'S LIKE: "DO YOU SEE THIS!? I HAVE FOUR WIVES, ONE OF WHICH IS AN ALIEN WHO CAN EFFORTLESSLY KILL DEMONS." to anyone who'd be listening.

[transformersbrainrot]

MegOp is making me crazy as usual, but now I have some new, specific inspiration!

So it started with @that-fanperson-meg saying this under a post I made about the Transformers account posting a TFO MegOp edit.

I recognized the name of the song but had never actually listened to it, and hooooo boy, it activated something in the part of my brain that thinks about MegOp... So, I'm listening to this song, and I have the clearest vision that it's about Megatron's mindset/thoughts during his mental health's lowest point in the worst depths of the war. (fair warning, my analysis/brainrot is based on my own personal continuity/au, so there are some minor references to that, but it's all fairly standard, and I explain it a bit, so just go with it, and you shouldn't be confused.) Ok, preamble over. Time for the lyrical analysis:

I hope that our few remaining friends Give up on trying to save us I hope we come up with a failsafe plot To piss off the dumb few that forgave us I hope the fences we mended Fall down beneath their own weight And I hope we hang on past the last exit I hope it's already too late

Megatron assumes that Optimus is in just as bad of a place as he is. He's wrong, of course, OP certainly isn't enjoying himself, but he has an actual support system that he feels comfortable leaning on. On the other hand, Soundwave is the only thing even approaching a friend for Megatron (and he is waaay too closed off at this point to admit it). Starscream is a backstabbing, power-hungry sycophant with his own heap of baggage (I really gotta make a post about my version of all that sometime); Shockwave is purely logic-driven as usual, only interested in advancing the Cybertronian race via the Decepticon cause. By this time, Megatron feels like both sides are too deep into the war to even consider peace. He honestly can't fathom it.

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here Someday burns down And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away And I never come back to this town again in my life

Megatron has always wanted to escape the path that was decided for him. But now, after losing what he and Orion had and the resulting fallout, he won't go quietly into the night, not before causing some irreparable damage first. And the war will do just that. He hopes the destruction the great war causes keeps pushing him forward, even out beyond Cybertron. At least then, he won't ever need to face the past and who he used to be. He couldn't recognize himself now if he tried, so he doesn't even try.

I hope I lie And tell everyone you were a good wife And I hope you die I hope we both die

Even though it's clear to him that they hate each other and are not good for each other, Megatron still has some form of loyalty to what he and Orion had. If somehow, someday, someone were to ask him about them, he wouldn’t tell them about all their problems, but instead that they were good together. Maybe if this hypothetical future version of Megatron doesn't mention all the pain their split caused, then maybe it was a little less real. He knows that as long as Optimus is around, he won't be able to stop fighting; he's just too hurt and angry. He wishes Optimus would just die, that they both would.

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow I hope it bleeds all day long Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises We're pretty sure they're all wrong I hope it stays dark forever I hope the worst isn't over And I hope you blink before I do And I hope I never get sober

Soundwave, the only even semi-positive influence on him right now, is the one telling Megatron it's darkest before the sun rises. Soundwave is a true believer in the original cause of the Decepticons, probably the last one in High Command; everyone else is either using the cause as a means to take out their pain (Megatron and Starscream) or as a means to an end (Shockwave). Megatron is finding it harder and harder to believe Soundwave with each passing day, and yet again assumes Optimus is doing the same. He's starting to hope it never ends. He's comfortable with it now; the war fills the hole that his old life left in him. All he really knows is that he can't bring himself to yield to Optimus and doesn't think he ever will. If he did, he wouldn't know what to do with himself.

And I hope when you think of me years down the line You can't find one good thing to say And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out You'd stay the hell out of my way

Megatron is hoping that Optimus is suffering too, since he is, and doesn’t want him to feel anything positive through this since he cannot. But at the same time, he’s trying so hard to be a bastard so that it won’t hurt as much. He does still want to speak well of their past if he gets the chance, so some loyalty or fondness remains deep down. If there were good times to look back on, there would be sadness that those times are over. If Optimus has nothing good to say about him, all he would feel is relief that that part of their lives is over.

I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand And I hope you die I hope we both die

Megatron can't see any way out of where he's gotten them. To him, there's no path to peace anymore. The only solace Megatron can find is the hope that Optimus falls with him. Even now, the two of their fates must be interlocked, as if it were a universal constant to him - simple common sense. He just wants it to be over, even as he can't bring himself to stop.

[mysticalmallard]

Spotted

Description: a few days later Opie thinks he's spotted her walking around Charming and he has to speak to her immediately.

This is part 5 of my Opie and the waitress series.

Word Count: 2,062

Warnings: none I think

SoA Taglist: @arkytiorlecter @aimkatsz @ravennaortiz @darqchilddaydreamz @mischiefnevermanaged89-blog @hatersaremymotivators @theshynerdsworld @thefrogytimes @youngadult9016

♥︎ If you wish to be added or removed from this taglist comment or message me ♥︎

Parts:

1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 •

SoA Masterlist ♥︎ Main Masterlist ♥︎ Series Masterlist

Opie and Jax ride their Harleys through the streets of Charming, the wind whipping through their hair. Opie's mind is filled with thoughts of the waitress, as it has been for days now. He keeps replaying their meetings in his head, wondering if she ever thought about him.

Suddenly, Opie thinks he sees a glimpse of her walking down the sidewalk but he was riding too fast to be sure.

He immediately hits the brakes, skidding to a halt turning to the side of the road swerving infront of Jax.

Jax nearly crashes into him, braking hard and looking at Opie with confusion. "What the hell, Ope?" he yells.

Opie ignores him, his eyes fixed on something across the street. "I think I saw her." he says bluntly, a mix of hope and anxiety in his voice.

Jax follows his gaze. "Who?" he asks, scanning the area, but not seeing anyone.

"The waitress," Opie says urgently, whipping hes head around still looking for her. "I swear I just saw her." he mumbles.

HONK "GET OUT OF THE ROAD MORONS" an angry driver yells as Opie and Jax are still partially blocking the road.

Opie ignores the driver, too focused on trying to spot the waitress. "Come on, she was right here. I know it." he says, still scanning the sidewalk, his heart racing.

"She probably went into a store or something let's park up and wait a beat and see if you spot her again" Jax suggests.

Opie nods, realizing he can't keep sitting in the road like an idiot. He takes a few deep breaths, trying to slow his heart rate as he parks his bike, Jax following suit. They both get off their bikes, leaning against them, waiting and watching for any sign of her.

They keep their eyes on the sidewalk, watching as people pass by. Some look at the bikers with mild curiosity, others avoid their gazes altogether. Opie's heart pounds in his chest, his eyes darting everywhere, searching every face. He can feel Jax's eyes on him, but he doesn't care. He's desperate to find her, to see her beautiful face again.

Several minutes pass, and there's still no sign of the waitress. Opie's starting to feel frustrated. Could he really have been hallucinating? "Maybe I was just seeing things, man" he mutters, more to himself than to Jax. He runs a hand through his hair, feeling foolish now. He was so sure he saw her, but now he doubts himself.

Jax lights a cigarette and passes it to Opie. "You know, if you just got her number, you wouldn't be acting so crazy right now" he says grinning.

Opie shoots him a glare. "Yeah, yeah, you've made that clear enough." he huffs, taking a drag from the cigarette.

He glances down the street one more time, the disappointment starting to set in. Maybe she was just some girl who looked like her, and he had gotten his hopes up for nothing.

He sighs, shaking his head. "What am I doing, man? Why am I so obsessed with this girl? I barely know her." he murmurs, taking another drag from the cigarette.

Jax shrugs, taking the cigarette back. "You've got a damn crush, Ope. It happens to the best of us."

"Yeah, I guess I do" he sighs "you should head back I'm just gonna wait here a little longer" she says not wanting to be teased anymore.

"Hell no, you think I'm gonna miss an opportunity to see who has got you twisted up like this" Jax replies gesturing vaguely at Opie.

Opie grunts, knowing there's no point in arguing. Jax is too damn stubborn.

The two of them sit in silence for a few more minutes, still watching the sidewalk intently. Opie can feel Jax's eyes on him occasionally, and it's irritating him.

Opie's eyes widen as he sees her walking out of the pawn shop across the street.

"There she is" he mutters, straightening up, his heart racing again.

Jax follows his gaze, spotting the waitress as well. He grins, looking back at Opie. "Well, well, well. Looks like you weren't hallucinating after all, Ope." he teases.

Opie doesn't even think as he runs across the street, dodging cars and nearly getting hit. He's tunnel visioned on the waitress, determined to catch up to her. He doesn't notice the angry drivers honking at him, or Jax calling his name.

He catches up to her quickly, his long legs closing the distance between them in no time at all. He reaches out, grabbing her arm, causing her to scream, whirling around swinging her purse at him hitting him in the face the contents spilling on the ground.

Opie stumbles back, more surprised than hurt. He holds up his hands, trying to placate her. "Hey, hey, hey, relax, it's me!" he says urgently.

"Opie? Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't know it was you. Are you okay?" She rambles her hand on her chest in shock.

Opie rubs his jaw where the purse hit him, wincing a little. "Yeah, I'm fine. I should have thought better than to grab you like that, sorry." he mutters, still a bit dazed from the impact.

Jax jogs up to them, laughing loudly. "Damn, Ope, she got you real good with that purse" he says, practically wheezing with laughter.

Opie glares at him, still holding his jaw. "Shut up, Jax" he mutters, his face reddening in embarrassment.

He looks back at Jessica she is on the ground trying to gather her things.

He crouches down to help her, scooping up a few of the spilled contents that lie on the ground, he sees a pawn slip among the items and sighs inwardly. He hands the items back to her, his heart still thumping after the unexpected confrontation.

"Thanks," she says quietly, smiling slightly as she takes the items.

"No problem," he replies softly, their eyes meeting for a moment. He's still dazed from the unexpected encounter, and the close proximity to her. He can feel Jax watching the two of them intently.

"Ain't you gonna introduce me Ope?" Jax says a shit eating grin on his face.

Opie rolls his eyes, half annoyed and half amused by Jax's antics. "This is Jessica," he says, gesturing at her. "Jessica, this is Jax, my best friend and pain in my ass."

Opie shoots Jax a warning glare, but the damage is already done. He knows Jax is going to tease him relentlessly about this later.

Jax chuckles, sticking out his hand for her to shake. "Pleased to meet you, darlin'. I've heard a lot about you." He grins at Opie as he says this, unable to resist teasing him.

"Good things, I hope," Jessica replies politely, shaking Jax's hand with a small smile.

"Oh yeah, only good things" Jax replies, still grinning.

Opie shoots him another dark look, silently begging him not to say anything else.

Jax ignores his look, clearly enjoying himself. "Opie here hasn't stopped talking about you since the first day he met you," he adds, clearly loving the way Opie's cheeks are turning redder.

"Jax, shut the hell up," Opie mutters through gritted teeth, silently willing a hole to open up in the ground he can disappear into.

Jax laughs again, throwing his arm around Opie's shoulder. "Now, now, Ope, no need to be embarrassed. I think it's cute that you have a little crush on the pretty lady here."

Opie mutters something unintelligible under his breath, his face burning red. He tries to shake off Jax's arm to no avail. Jax's hold on him is firm and he knows he's not going to be able to get out of this without making a scene.

Jessica looks between the two, a mixture of confusion and amusement on her face.

Jax grins, enjoying himself far too much. "Looks like Ope's all tongue-tied," he says, ruffling Opie's hair. "Can't say I blame him though. You're quite the looker."

Opie grits his teeth, resisting the urge to punch Jax. He tries to ignore him, turning his attention to Jessica instead. "Uh, sorry about him. He's a little..." he mumbles, feeling mortified.

Jax grins. "Charismatic, charming, suave...?" he offers.

Opie shoots him a glare. "I was going to say he's a jackass," he mutters.

She giggles "Don't worry about it..." she stands a little awkwardly unsure what to say or do now.

Opie smiles a little at her giggle, the sound going straight to his heart. He can feel Jax's gaze on him, silently telling him to say something already. He stumbles over his words, suddenly at a loss for what to say. "Uh, I, uh..." he stutters, feeling like an idiot.

Jax snickers beside him, finding this whole thing highly entertaining. He gives Opie a not-so-subtle nudge in the ribs.

"I think Ope here wants to invite you to a party we're having at the clubhouse tonight, it just a regular Friday night bash nothing fancy"

Opie shoots Jax a look, silently cursing him. 'Real smooth, Jax' he thinks.

He swallows, turning back to Jessica, trying to look a little less like a nervous fool. "Yeah, um, we're having a party tonight. You should come," he says, trying to sound casual. The invitation comes out a little rushed.

"A party huh?...can I bring my roommate?" She asks, she likes Opie but doesn't know him or the club that well enough to feel comfortable going alone.

Opie feels a twinge of disappointment, but he understands her hesitancy. He doesn't blame her for wanting to bring someone she knows, especially around the club.

"Uh, yeah, sure," he responds trying to hide how he feels. "Bring as many people as you want. The more the merrier, right?" he adds, giving a small, forced smile.

"Great! Here" she grabs his hand and a pen from her bag. She writes her number on him being carful to write it clearly. "Text me when and where to show up and I'll be there"

Opie watches as she writes her number on him, feeling her soft hand on his skin. It's a simple act, but it sends a jolt through him. He stares at the numbers on his hand, feeling both excited and panicked.

"Uh, yeah, cool," he manages to say, his voice betraying his emotions. "I'll text you, for sure."

Jax is watching the exchange with a knowing smirk, clearly amused by how flustered Opie is. He knows this is all new ground for his best friend, and he's enjoying every minute of it.

"I've got to go I have a job interview in like 15 minutes, but I'll see you later" She mumbles looking at her watch.

"Oh, right. Yeah, good luck with that," he says, trying to hide his disappointment. A part of him wants her to stay, to keep talking, but he knows she has to go.

He watches as she turns to leave, a mixture of excitement and nerves swirling in his stomach. He manages a small smile. "I'll text you later, about the party," he reassures her.

The moment she is far enough away he punches Jax in the shoulder, hard.

"Ow!" Jax exclaims, rubbing his shoulder. "What was that for? I helped you out, didn't I? you got her number and you're gonna see her again tonight" he grins.

"Oh yeah, great job, inviting her to a party full of naked women and drunk bikers, what a wonderful first date, you've helped me out so much," Opie says sarcastically, pissed off, stalking back to his bike.

Jax follows after him, still grinning. "Come on, it'll be fun. It's a SAMCRO party. She'll have a great time. Besides everyone will love her, she's hot"

Opie glares at him, climbing on his bike. "Right, because a girl like her dreams about being around drunk, lewd bikers....oh god please tell me Tig is out of town tonight" he says cringing at the thought of Tig meeting her.

"Sorry Ope, I saw Tig earlier today. He's definitely gonna be there tonight." he grins. "You'll just have to keep him away from your gal."

Opie groans, running a hand over his face. Just what he needs, Tig hitting on Jessica. He didn't think his night could get any more complicated.

"Great, just great," he mutters. "This party is gonna be a total disaster"

Jax laughs, hopping onto his bike as well.

[takingchences]

𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐩𝐭. 𝟒

A descendant of a legendary quirk longs to separate herself from her family name, but first she'll have to confront villains, ghosts from the past, and her growing attraction for Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x OP!fem!oc

Warnings: mature language

series masterlist + my masterlist

Watching the two rivals battle it out was difficult.

Midoriya had started out strong, having managed to gain the upper hand at the start of the exercise by anticipating Bakugou's attacks. The tables quickly turned, however, when the explosive teen demonstrated the power of his gauntlets. The force of the blast sent a tremor throughout the entire building, forcing Sana to stand closer to Kirishima. He was her best shot at making it out alive should the building collapse above their heads.

The heat released from the blast made her shiver.

"Sir, isn't this getting outta hand?" Kirishima tried to reason with the seasoned hero. "That Bakugou is acting real crazy. He's gonna kill him!"

All Might, with a practiced smile on his face, chose not to interfere in the fight other than to warn the angry blonde that if he used such a dangerous attack again, his team would automatically lose. I hope our newbie teacher knows what he's doing, Sana held her clasped hands to her chest anxiously. Though everyone but All Might and their teammates were unable to hear what exactly the two boys were saying, it was clear from the footage that things were getting much too heated for a simple exercise.

"You okay?" Mina whispered, placing a comforting hand on her arm.

"Just nervous," Sana quickly dismissed her concern. Mina nodded in agreement, her bubblegum curls bouncing with the movement.

"Yeah. Bakugou really isn't letting up, huh?"

Midoriya went to punch, but in one fluid motion, Bakugou launched into the air and maneuvered himself behind the smaller boy. He set off an explosion against the greenette's unprotected back, making several in the class gasp.

"What was that move?"

"He doesn't come off as a guy with a strategy, but he's actually quite intelligent." Shoto voiced from the back of the crowd, momentarily pulling their attention away from the moniter. "He changed his trajectory while in midair using a blast that doubled as a smokescreen." The dual-quirk user explained. He added in a quieter tone, as if speaking more to himself now, "Very clever."

"A feint attack like that requires an extreme amount of precision." Momo agreed. "He had to calculate the physics and demonstrate control over his Quirk."

Kaminari, of course, was put off by the positive comments. "Ugh, Bakugou is uber talented." His shoulders slumped. "I hate it."

Me too, Sana nibbled on her lower lip.

Smoke rose from Midoriya's damaged costume. Bakugou, without hesitation, slammed his heavy-looking gear into Midoriya's arm. He then grabbed hold of said arm and released smaller blasts with his free hand for momentum before tossing the green-haired boy over his shoulder like a rag doll, much like Midoriya had done to him at the start of the match.

Sana had to turn away at the brutality Bakugo was displaying. He could've easily ended the exercise by now. He'd had enough opportunities to use the capture tape on Midoriya, which meant he was dragging the fight out on purpose.

He was enjoying this.

"This is hard to watch." Mina's voice cracked, as if she were close to crying. Her hand grasped Sana's sleeve tightly. "All he has to do is wrap tape around him, not kill him!"

"Bakugou is certainly acting like a villain," Tokoyami added from his shaded spot by the wall. So much violence, Sana closed her eyes. All because of some stupid grudge. Midoriya pushed himself up shakily, half running and half crawling away from the beastly Bakugou.

"He's running away."

"Not very manly, but he doesn't have a choice." The rocky redhead sighed. "He's outgunned. Unless he's got some kinda plan."

It's possible, Sana acknowledged. She could tell that Midoriya was very observant and analytical, but he also seemed like the type of person to jump headfirst into danger without thinking. She wasn't sure if he even knew what he was going to do next.

Midoriya stopped, his back pressed against the wall. The two exchanged words before sprinting full-force towards one another. The veins in Midoriya's arm seemed to glow, like her's sometimes did if she used quirk for an extended period of time. "This can't end well," Sana bit her nail.

Even All Might looked nervous now. "Both of you, stop-" The Pro seemed to cut himself off.

Instead of aiming for Bakugou, Midoriya directed his attack upwards, blowing a hole through the center of the building. Uraraka used her quirk to levitate over the hole and capture the weapon, bringing the first mock battle to an end.

"The hero team... WINS!"

The class watched as Midoriya was carted away to Recovery Girl's office. "The losers are practically untouched, and the winners are both on the ground." Kaminari commented, scratching his head.

"This class is intense." Sana nodded dazedly.

All Might left to retrieve their classmates. The next battle would take place in a new building since the current one was now unusable. The hero returned shortly with Uraraka, Iida, and a shell-shocked Bakugou. He obviously wasn't taking the loss well. The shattered look on his face made Sana's chest tighten. No matter how annoyed she was with him at the moment, she wouldn't wish such a feeling on anyone.

But maybe, in this case, it was for the best. Bakugou needed to learn where his starting line was in order to improve, instead of assuming he'd already won before the race had even begun.

"Well, despite the results, the MVP of this exercise is Young Iida!" His announcement was met with confusion, Iida himself being the most surprised of all.

"Shouldn't it be one of the heroes instead, since they're the winners?" Tsuyu questioned.

"Mm! Valid question. Why didn't I choose one of those two? Who has a guess?"

"Sir! I can tell you why!" Momo volunteered before launching into a lengthy speech on how Iida embraced the challenge, unlike his partner who was too blinded by his hatred of Midoriya to focus on the real challenge; protecting the weapon.

I tried to warn him, Sana moved her eyes to the now quiet blonde, his eyes wide and downcast. Though I don't think an "I told you so" is what he needs right now.

"As you pointed out earlier, launching a large‐scale attack indoors was a foolish move. It could have been disastrous. Similarly," the girl continued. "Midoriya's plan was also poorly thought out, considering the amount of damage that he received. He rendered himself helpless. Not smart. As for Uraraka... She let her guard down mid‐battle, and her final attack was far too reckless given the hypothetical stakes. If she'd treated the fake weapon as though it were real, she never would've risked using such an imprecise move."

"Iida was fully prepared for his opponent's arrival. He had a strategy, and never lost sight of his mission to protect the dummy weapon, even if he was foiled in the end. Technically, the hero team won, yes, but they took advantage of the fact that this was training. They didn't respect the spirit of the trial."

Iida was sparkling after receiving such praise.

"Yes... well, you overlooked a few things." All Might stumbled over his words. "Young Iida could have relaxed a little bit in the exercise, but... otherwise, you nailed it!" He gave Momo a thumbs up.

"Let's move on to the next match!" All Might exclaimed after arriving at the next battleground. "Think about everything we saw and discussed as you tackle this training for yourself."

"Yes, sir!" Class 1-A shouted.

The Number One hero drew lots again, holding the letters up for all to see. "Match two! Team B will be our heroes! And Team I will be the villains!"

So, Hagakure and I will go up against...

People often say that God has a sense of humor and they would be right. Because the hero team consisted of Shoji and the very last person she wanted to see right now, let alone fight: Shoto Todoroki.

You've gotta be kidding me.

¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*

A radio, a map of the building, and capture tape were the only items they were given to prepare, as well as a head start so that "the villains" could hide their weapon. "Hey, Sakano." Her teammate called. "I'm gonna take off all my clothes and totally disappear."

"It won't make a difference," Sana replied matter-of-factly, tightening the ribbon holding her hair back. "He'll make his move before you make it out the door."

"Are you okay?" Hagakure asked hesitantly. "You seem... different."

No, Sana wanted to say. She felt like laughing and crying hysterically as she hugged her knees and rocked in a corner. I have to put my feelings aside. I'd be a hypocrite if I lectured Bakugou about controlling his emotions and didn't take my own advice. Her nails dug into the flesh of her palms as her fists clenched in suppressed anger. It's just like when we used to train together, she reminded herself. Only this time, he's not my only opponent.

"I'm fine," Sana brushed the question off.

They settled for hiding the weapon on the highest floor. The room was empty, so it left a lot of open space to defend and only one exit to escape through. The large windows behind them let plenty of sunlight in, which would come in handy once their teacher gave them permission to start.

"You can ditch the gloves. But for now, keep your shoes on." The light-powered girl sensed her teammate's uncertainty. "Trust me."

"Look alive, kids!" The Symbol of Peace's thundering voice boomed through their earpieces. "Show us you're the embodiment of good." He paused, realizing his mistake. "Or evil! Let's go!"

Sana immediately channeled her quirk, urging the heat to spread throughout her body. Her eyes took on a luminous hue. Steam was visibly streaming off of her, which Hagakure was quick to comment on. "Stay focused," Sana reminded the invisible girl. "It's coming."

"What-"

A chill nipped at their skin before a wave of ice swept through the room. "JUMP!" Sana warned her teammate, though she made no move to follow her own command. Shoto's ice instinctively retreated from the heat radiating off of her.

"It's s-s-so cold-d," Hagakure chattered, her teeth knocking together as she shivered violently.

"When Shoto comes in, I'll distract him while you slip out of the room. Shoji is probably waiting outside the building, but he'll come in once he realizes the ice attack didn't work."

"Eh? S-shot-t-"

Crunch.

Both girls fell silent as the soft crunch of ice underfoot grew closer to their hideout. He was close, maybe only a few steps outside the doorless entrance. Sana spotted Hagakure's shoelaces untying themselves out of the corner of her eye, the invisible girl ready to make a break for it as soon as the path was clear.

The mock battle had officially begun.

¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*

Within minutes, his tall figure appeared in the doorway, that red LED eyepiece glinting eerily. Thick layers of ice covered everything from floor to ceiling, including the windows. He'd blocked out her main power source. Well then, it's a good thing I'm fully charged.

"Sakano." The empty sound of his voice made her flinch. That, and what he'd called her.

Sakano.

Not her name, her given name that he'd used so many times before, but her father's name. An inescapable weight she was forced to carry with her like a ball and chain. Sakano. As if they'd never been close. As if they hadn't known each other for most of their lives. As if the last ten years together were somehow less significant than the past ten months apart. "Sakano," he'd said, as though greeting a stranger.

Maybe that's what they'd become.

Familiar strangers.

"Todoroki," Sana grit her teeth, pushing past the painfully large lump in her throat to speak. She knew she probably looked shaken by his verbal sneak attack. She'd felt the color drain from her cheeks the second the word had registered in her mind, had felt her trembling hands curl into fists. He knew how hearing that cursed name from his mouth would effect her, and he'd used it to his advantage. Smart move.

"Step aside," Shoto instructed. "We both know how this will go, so let's skip to the end."

Sana hoped Hagakure had already made her exit. Fuck what she'd said earlier. Things were about to get very personal, very quickly. And like Bakugou and Midoriya, she didn't want anyone interfering. Only All Might would know what was said between them, which wasn't ideal, but at least she didn't have to worry about the rest of the class listening in as well.

"You underestimate me, hero." She forced herself to smile, to joke and taunt. It helped keep the tears she desperately wanted to shed at bay. That, and the cameras pointed at her, capturing her every move. She wouldn't allow herself to break down and look weak, no matter how much she wanted to crumble under his mismatched gaze. "This battle is far from over."

"There's no point in dragging this out," Shoto lazily shrugged. "You and I operate on different levels. We always have."

Unrecognizable. The dual-haired teen standing before her was completely unrecognizable. Where was the young boy who loved watching reruns of All Might's news clips with his mother late at night while his father was patrolling? Where was the boy that stubbornly made her pinky promise to start a hero agency with him? Where was the sweet boy who used to tie her shoes for her, knowing she couldn't do it herself? The one who had offered to take care of her imaginary dog while she was at school and he was stuck at home with a tutor? The one who's father she'd begged to allow him to attend school with her? Homeschooling made for a flexible schedule, which meant more training time and less eyes to notice the aftermath of the hero's violent outbursts, but she'd made a compelling argument about exposing Shoto to more powerful and complicated quirks. Eventually, he warmed up to the idea.

Her Shoto was kind, even when all he'd known was cruelty. So who was this Shoto? This harsh, apathetic, machine-like man. What had happened during those months away for him to make such a drastic change?

"Different levels," Sana repeated slowly, testing the words out. A breathy laugh followed, though the sound lacked any humor. "Did your old man teach you that? It sounds like something he'd say."

A muscle in Shoto's jaw fluttered. Good. She wasn't the only one pissed off now.

"Maybe that's what he tells himself." She continued, the corners of her lips tugging upward, refusing to even blink as glowing eyes bore into his steely gaze. A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips, but she felt no satisfaction as the biting words left her mouth. "That the reason he's so far behind is because he and All Might are 'on different levels."' The temperature of the room dropped significantly.

There was a reason Sana had been paired with Shoto as a sparring partner all these years; they brought out the best and worst in each other.

Shoto was the quiet type. He rarely spoke unless prompted to, or if he had something weighing on his mind. He kept his personal thoughts and feelings locked away, but Sana knew how to coax them out. She had a way with words. She knew just what to say to soothe him after a particularly brutal day with his father, or send him into a full-blown rage that almost made Bakugou look tame. It was a gift she was quite proud of. She liked to think of it as a secret weapon.

She also knew that Shoto relied heavily on his quirk, choosing to use long range attacks rather than close combat. With his size advantage alone, he could easily overpower her and claim the weapon.

But he wasn't moving.

Why hasn't he attacked already? Sana shifted her weight, ice tinkling softly beneath her feet. Does he really not consider me a threat?

His eyes cut to the side, narrowing slightly in focus. He seemed to be listening to something... maybe Shoji was talking to him? Sana concentrated for a moment before she heard the sound of distant shouting. Hagakure. She and Shoji were probably a floor or two away from them, battling it out, and here they were standing around playing mind games.

Screw it.

Sana sent a blast of solid light at Shoto, who dodged the attack and returned one of his own. Sana ducked to the side to avoid the ice, each breath visible in the frosty air. She knew what he was up to. It was a tactic he used often during their sessions. Cooler temperatures caused her quirk to weaken significantly. Drops in temperature forced the photons in the atmosphere to slow down. He was trying to tire her out, corner her into using up her reserves until she had nothing left. It was a dance they'd done enough times for her to know every move by heart. She could do this in her sleep.

The action caused a rush of anger to well up inside of her. Was he even taking her seriously as an opponent? Was his strategy to toy with her in a game of cat and mouse until he got bored? Did he honestly believe that they were competing on different levels?

Finally, she had enough.

"Fight me, dammit!" she demanded. "You're not even taking this seriously!"

"Are you?" the red-and-white haired teen asked, creating a wall of ice to use as a barrier. "From what I'm seeing, you haven't improved at all since the last time we fought. Is this the best you can do?"

With a flick of her wrist his way, a ribbon of light sliced through his sheild like butter. The top portion slid to the side and shattered. With a stomp of his foot on the ground, a mountain of jagged ice raced towards her. Sana summoned more energy, creating a protective dome around herself. The ice attack immediately melted upon contact, the rest cracking from the intense heat radiating off the glowing half-sphere. Steam filled the room, adding an unnecessarily dramatic effect to an already dramatic scene as the two teens glared at each other from opposite sides of the room.

Sana hadn't let her guard down once during the few minutes they'd been sparring. She had a plan, one she'd come up with mere moments before the battle trial began. But in order for it to work, she had to keep Shoto's attention. Unfortunately, she was starting to feel drained. She'd been maintaining a high temperature around herself since Shoto had turned the entire building into a popsicle. It was starting to have an effect on her, and Shoto seemed to sense that as well. He pummeled her temporary sheild relentlessly, battering it over and over with a barrage of endless attacks until Sana had to drop it to conserve her energy.

A beam of light shot from her palm, aimed at his head. The boy deflected it using a small glacier, while instantaneously firing back a blast of frost. The peach-haired girl jumped to the side, the ice shattering against the wall beside her. Shards of it went flying from the impact, a particularly sharp piece sliced her cheek an inch below her eye. A single drop of blood slipped down her cheek like a tear; the only one she would allow herself to shed in this moment.

With a battle cry, Sana launched herself at Shoto, only to be caught in the chest by a flurry of ice. She fell to the ground with a wince. Layers of frost crept along her stunned body, making her shiver violently.

A pair of white boots entered her field of vision as a disappointed sigh broke the silence. "It seems your efforts were in vain." The footsteps moved away from where she was immobilized, heading towards the weapon.

Hagakure had her hands full distracting Shoji, so Sana couldn't expect any backup from her teammate. More than anything, she wanted to prove that she was capable of taking on a powerhouse like Shoto Todoroki and winning.

"It wasn't a t-t-total waste." She called from the floor, teeth chattering.

His footsteps didn't stop or even slow at her words. Lifting her head as best she could with her body encased from her feet to her shoulders, she followed his broad back with her eyes. Standing before the weapon, Shoto lifted his right hand to touch the weapon and claim victory for the Hero Team.

Except... he couldn't touch it. His hand passed through the bomb like a reflection in a pool.

He whipped around at the sound of throaty laughter. "Y-you were right." Sana, despite being out of commission, still had her quirk activated. Her glowing eyes were a dead give away. Her lips, which were starting to turn blue, split into a devilish grin. "This is the b-best I can d-d-do."

"What is this?" Shoto's body tensed, the hand meant to hold the weapon now clenched into a fist.

"A dem-demonstration," she shuddered, still stuck face down on the floor. "I wanted t-to s-show how f-far I've come w-without you."

Shoto took a step closer to her. "What are you talking about?" He demanded, his voice urgent. "What did you do with the weapon, Sakano?"

Her skin was pale, eyes lidded, her blue lips bordering purple now. Yet, she still smiled conspiratorially, like she was in on a joke that hadn't been shared with the rest of the world. She faintly heard All Might's voice through her earpiece, yelling their names. She blinked heavily, the edges of her vision going dark.

As soon as the solar-powered girl lost consciousness, the fake-fake weapon faded away, and the real weapon Shoto was meant to capture appeared out of thin air, nestled in a dark corner on the far side the room. Sana had bent the light around the weapon to turn it invisible, as well as maintaining the mirage of a duplicate weapon, all while fighting him as a distraction until time ran out. It was a miracle she hadn't passed out sooner.

He was wrong when he'd said she hadn't improved earlier. Sana had grown immensely during their time apart, and not just quirk wise. She'd matured physically and mentally as well. It made Shoto's chest ache to think that he'd already missed so much in so little time.

He turned in a quick circle, looking for the real weapon before finally spotting it out of the corner of his eye. It annoyed him once he realized he'd passed right by it on his way inside. It hadn't even occurred to him that his childhood friend might be capable of doing something like that. He slid across the frozen floor towards the exit, arm outstretched. But just before his fingers could make contact, the buzzer went off.

"Time's up!" All Might announced. "Villian Team wins!" Distantly, a girl's voice could be heard cheering.

Shoto stared at the weapon with wide eyes, his hand hovering only inches away. Sana was much better at combat than he was. Whenever they practiced without their powers, it was rare that she lost. But for the first time in a decade, Sana had defeated him using her quirk. He wasn't sure if he should be proud of her success or saddened by it.

At the moment, it felt like a mixture of the two.

¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*

Sana had been defrosted, along with the rest of the building, by Shoto before being hauled away to the nurse's office to warm up and rest. After sleeping for about an hour, Sana finally stirred. Recovery Girl let her go with a kiss on the cheek and a handful of gummy bears. It came as no surprise to anyone that Midoriya was still unconscious.

She returned to the training grounds, where she was immediately greeted with cheers and claps on the back. Hagakure filled her in on what happened after she passed out, like how they won and how, apparently, she'd tied with Shoto as the MVP. Most of the teams had already gone by the time Sana had woken up, which was fine with her. After the stress she felt watching the first round, and the roller coaster of emotions she experienced during her own, the peach-haired girl was ready to call it a day.

All Might ended the class with a speedy exit, while the rest of the class walked at a normal pace back to the changing rooms. Once they were back inside the 1-A classroom, most of the students chose to hang back and socialize. Sana assumed the majority of them were waiting to congratulate Midoriya. Aside from Bakugou, of course, who grabbed his bag and stormed out without a word to anyone.

She had half a mind to follow him and try and cheer him up, but figured she'd already meddled in his life enough for one day.

"You know, Sakano, I was rather curious about something." Momo's voice pulled her away from her thoughts. The girls were gathered in a circle around Sana's desk, except for Uraraka, who had left with Kaminari to grab textbooks in preparation for tomorrow's lesson. "The nature of your quirk, along with your surname... well, it can't be a coincidence, can it? Are you related to the Sakanos?"

There was that name again. It followed her everywhere, like a shadow. Momo's question had caught the attention of the rest of the class, who were just as curious about the answer. She couldn't lie. Momo was right in the sense that it would be too much of a coincidence for her not to be one of them.

Without meaning to, Sana locked eyes with Shoto. She wasn't sure why she did it. Maybe because, out of everyone, he knew how heavy the burden of such a legacy could be. Or maybe it was because she was reminded of a wound he'd inflicted only hours ago that was still tender.

"Oh," Sana played with the cuff of her blazer. "I am."

"No way!" Mina clapped her hands to her cheeks. "You mean that scary-looking guy on TV is your dad?!" Sana nodded, hiding her despair behind a polite, practiced smile.

It was all part of the act, part of the role she'd been assigned since birth. She played her part well, unlike Shoto, who fought against his strings so much that he sometimes became tangled in them. No, she just smiled and nodded, said the lines she'd rehearsed so well, and waited for the show to end. When it was over, she'd give herself a round of applause for her performance, only to crumble as soon as the curtains closed.

But Shoto wouldn't be there to help pick up the pieces anymore. She hadn't imagined it earlier, when he'd called her that despicable name.

Sakano. What a cruel thing to say to someone you claimed to love.

¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*･ﾟ¸☾⋆*

Bakugou grumbled to himself, kicking at the ground as he walked home. The day couldn't have gone any worse. Not only had he been lectured like a child by some dumbass, but he'd also been humiliated by that shitty nerd in front of the entire class. No, worse. In front of All Might.

"When I was watching that ice guy, I realized I couldn't beat him in a head‐to‐head fight." He'd said to Deku by the school gates. "Dammit, even that glow-worm was stronger than I thought."

She'd downplayed her power, pretending to be weak and forced to rely on others, when in reality, her quirk was probably one of the strongest in class. It pissed him off that he'd been tricked again. He was right when he'd said she was like Deku. They were both looking down on him, mocking his strength and laughing at his expense.

Bakugou had always been praised: for his flashy quirk, his strength and determination, his intelligence, etc. He'd always been made to feel like number one, and had proven himself capable of being the best again and again. So why, after starting U.A, did it seem like that was no longer the case?

[starry-eyed-steve]

Okay, so normally, I scroll past any ridiculous Steve takes, especially when it comes to death theories or theories about s5 in general. However, I just saw such a bad take that it actually made me angry, I need to make my own post. (Warning, this gets a bit petty towards the end)

Basically, the OP claimed Steve needs to die in s5 for the following reasons:

He has nothing going on in his life. He works a minimum wage job and is stuck in his hometown

He only has Robin and the kids, nothing else

It would not be satisfying if he lived

Steve can't grow more as a character because he already had too much development, so it would be better to end it there

He's only useful for protecting the group and nothing else

His death would be great for other characters because if he scarifices himself, the others are then able to go out in the world, live their lives, and do great things

Okay, that's a lot to unpack here, and I'm kinda speechless people really have such a low opinion about him.

First of all, saying Steve has nothing going on because he works a minimum wage job and doesn't have a concrete plan for the future is such a weird thing to say. He has a job, and even if it's not the best paid one, he still has an income. It's not like he's has nothing to do after he graduated (which he did the first time). If you think Steve needs to have it all figured out by 19 in order to be allowed to live, kindly fuck off. Almost no character has a concrete plan for the future. We never see Robin talk about her plans as well. Besides Nancy wanting to go to Emerson, we don't really know anything about the other characters' plans. The idea that minimum wage jobs are considered as something not worth pursuing or that your life must suck if you have them reeks of privilege. Not everyone can or wants to get a college degree. The people who work in customer service or have manual labor jobs are very valuable members of society, and to imply just because Steve has a minimum wage job working at a video store, so he better dies, is a horrible take. But also again, he is 19 (!!!) and should be allowed to have opportunities to figure out his plans for the future. Plus, he explicitly told us his end goal, he wants a loving partner and kids, and that's reason enough to keep going. (Even if he wouldn't have this goal or plan, he deserves time to figure things out, seeing as he lived his life in survival mode for the past 4 years.)

I also really don't get the second point. What is wrong about Steve having a real friend and a group of people he cares about? Shouldn't that be reason enough for him to keep living? Shouldn't having friends who you care about and who care about you automatically count as something that is enough. Besides, again, he also has a job, likes to go on dates, and it's implied he's still into sports.

The other characters also have each other. They hang out all the time to play their dnd games. Jonathan only has one friend (who now isn't even in the show anymore) and a gf. Nancy barely has any friends as well, besides her bf, who wants to slow mo break up with her. Should they die because they only have like 2 people they are close with? Or is it different because they want to go to college and do well in school, which is the only good purpose characters are allowed to have in order to be deemed worthy of living?

Imo it wouldn't be satisfying if Steve would die after everything he has been through. The show beats him to a pulp every season. He was tortured, maimed, and he sacrificed already so much for the group. He has the most physical trauma, besides Hopper. Even if the show doesn't address it, it's still there. (I hate it sm, but also I blame mostly on limited time that almost no character gets to explore their trauma.) It would be such a disservice to his character if he went through all of that for nothing. What kinda message is that? Killing off the character who is the most hopeful despite everything he went through is not satisfying. None of the main characters' deaths would feel satisfying after going through the horrors like that. (Besides Murray because fuck him)

If you think a character or person can only grow so much until they reach some arbitrary point where they are the perfect version of themselves, you're pretty naive. Nobody stops growing. Even if someone goes through growth, you don't stop your whole life. Maybe start rooting for an arc for Steve, where he gets even better. Where he gets to figure things out, where he becomes a better version of himself. You wouldn't say this to any other character. Just because his growth arc was more noticeable doesn't mean all your other faves didn't grow. Do you want them to stop living because they made choices to be a better person?

You're really underestimating Steve's relationship to the group if you think he's nothing more than a punching bag to them. How can you watch the show and really think this. He's Robins best friend, he helps her grow and be comfortable. He's Dustin's older brother figure. He gives him comfort, and he will most likely help him in s5 with his grief over Eddie. Even with Max, he functions as a brother figure, especially in contrast to her stepbrother. Yes, his primary role in the group is fighter and protector, but he is more than that. He's a friend and important to so many characters.

I think the last point was the thing that made me angry the most. All those other takes I've seen time and time again, but this last one is just disgusting. First of all again to imply that Steve can't do great things because he doesn't have a career plan at 19, which is just gross. And then if you also think the other characters would be so appreciative of this as if they don't give a fuck about Steve. Like Robin and Dustin would be devastated, how much of his death would affect them and their plans to do amazing things? They would be severely depressed and untreated (lets be real mental health issues were not taken super seriously up until recently) they will live with those impacts for the rest of their lives. Trust me I know how terrible depression is and how it fucks with your life plans. Maybe some characters who are not super close to him might use his death for motivation and to achieve those "great" things. But for most parts, his death would have a negative influence on them, on top of the trauma they already endured. If you think his death would only benefit the group, you're underestimating his impact on people. Like Dustin already has a hard time getting over Eddie, Robin would lose the only person who completely understands her, Max would lose another brother figure and a chance to bond with him more. Nancy would lose yet another person who was close to her. How many people should she lose until she snaps completely? But again, it's the implication that Steve's life is worthless because he doesn't go to college or has a shitty job or only has a few friends, that gets me. His life is worth less than other characters' lives because they seemingly have things figured out because they are (book) smarter than him. And btw Steve has a dream for the future, he wants a family and peace, he wants to be a better parent than his own parents were, and if you think that's meaningless or less great, then fuck you!

With those points and logic, Jonathan should also be a contender for character death in s5 as well. He doesn't have a job, he gets high with his only friend who won't be there in s5, he didn't apply for his dream university, he's about to break up with his gf. Jonathan only has his family and barely any growth over the seasons. He is a very stale character. In other words, according to those points made by OP, he has nothing going on and should sacrifice his life for the group as some form of character development.

Or Robin should also die in s5 according to those points. After all, all she has going on for her is a minimum wage job she works with her best friend, school, and a so far miserable love life. We don't know any of her future plans so fuck her I guess. She better sacrifice herself for the group. Or is she allowed to live because she's smarter than Steve (which is a pretty ableist thing to say) and gets to embark on a romantic journey next season?

To sum it up, stop saying Steve has to die because you think his life is meaningless because he's a teenager who hasn't things figured out. Stop saying shit along the lines that Steve isn't smart enough to get to have a life. Stop implying that intelligence is the most valuable thing a person can have and anyone who might lack it is deemed as less worthy of living. Stop saying Steve can't do amazing things if he doesn't go to college and therefore shouldn't be allowed to live. And stop deeming Steve's dream of a family as less meaningful (or meaningless) than academic/career successes. He deserves to live like every other character in the show.

[thestarpletsystem]

Just as a heads up, some lesbians can be cis men - specifically because they are multigender or intersex, as examples, or systems who have lesbian as a plurid identity despite not all being women.

We're cistrans and all of the above, and we're abro and use lesbian, achillean, queerhet, bi, omni, and pan as labels :p

We also know people who realized they were transfem or nonbinary because they knew their attraction to women was queer before they knew their gender was; as well as people who were closeted about only some parts of their identity

At the end of the day anyone using a label, even if it doesn't "make sense" harms no one, but excluding people from a label is rarely harmless. I wish more people realized that (/not at you, but the OP of That Post)

Mostly saying this because we know you're accepting and open to listening to people and yeah.

-Stars (you might know what our account is from that name but paranoia demands we send on anon anyway sorry)

On some real shit? That’s real kinda cool. And yeah, I kinda forgot a lot of those things y’all mentioned. I think in part because I was only thinking cis men by the very definition, rather than multigender and non-binary or intersex. You are right though. I don’t mean to come off like I’m trying to be exclusionary either, mostly just that there is a LOT of nuance in this topic. I think the conversation really needs more people like y’all. I can’t say I entirely understand, but I do think you deserve to be seen and heard. I do understand a bit better now because of this. But yeah, as a pan lesbian, we’re glad to have you!!

Largely we don’t care how people identify in the LGBTQ community, but it makes us irrationally angry when others tell us how we have to identify. I assume it’s probably the same for y’all and any lesboys out there. I hope I didn’t make anyone feel like that, since that was never my intention. I’m certainly going to edit that post soon™️

Also don’t worry about the anon ask thing, you’re totally fine and I get it! Thanks for adding onto all of this!

[tonydaddingham]

https://thesherrinfordfacility.tumblr.com/post/727753998120140800

I was generally asking/ranting. Your ramble made perfect sense and I do agree with pretty much all of it. I have more I must rant about though and I hope you don't mind me throwing this all in your inbox. It's not aimed at you specifically, don't worry.

Why did this fandom decide Neil suddenly thinks Aziraphale and Crowley are not in love just because he said two scenes were not sexual? The oxribs could be taken that way if you want, but it wasn't written to be. The kiss had nothing at all to do with sex and everything to do with a desperate being trying to make the person he loves understand. Neil saying neither of those situations were sexual does not mean Crowley and Aziraphale are not in love. He's said the opposite, along with both Michael and David, far too many times for years now for anyone to believe that. And yet here we are.

Just a few weeks ago we were praising the kiss as smashing the queerbaiting allegations and now half the fandom is right back to saying he's never really thought they were a romance. Insisting that because he thought the idea was odd several years ago it must mean he's lying about it now. That he and Terry didn't plan it this way since at least 2006. Or, even worse, that he thinks gay sex is gross and would never put anything like that in without being manipulated into it.

Because he said sometimes an oxrib is just an oxrib and a desperate attempt at communication wasn't at all sexual.

It's been giving off very strong feelings of "this queer romance doesn't count unless they have sex" goalpost shifting. We've already had more than enough proof that Aziracrow are completely in love, but unless they have sex then Neil's just a queerbaiting liar? Do people not realize how alienating that is to read as an ace fan, even one who wouldn't mind a fun sex scene?

It's also spitting in the face of a man who's been an ardent ally for longer than most of this fandom's been alive.

This rant is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting this beautiful queer love story because two male-presenting characters aren't having sex and so it doesn't actually count as a queer romance. This is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting the man who gave us this incredible story because he said two scenes aren't sexual in nature and so he is nothing but a manipulative liar. This rant isn't about defending Neil. He doesn't need me or anyone else to do that.

(for anyone that wants it, a direct link to the previous ask anon has copied above)

hi again anon!!!✨ personal thanks from me - im always humbled (and never have any objection to) when someone feels they can come to my askbox with these kind of commentaries, it really does make me so happy that they feel they can!

i just do occasionally worry if sometimes what im reading as an upset/angry tone (not saying yours was, it was just how i read it!) is a direct result of something ive said/done. so again, thanks for calming my anxiety surrounding that, and popping back to clarify!!!

now idk, by nature of this being a rant, if you wanted to get any answers from me or my opinion, but you're on my boat and im the captain, so it's a bit tough-titties im afraid💕 and once again, will probably repeat a few things you've put more succinctly than i have, but fuck it.

honestly? i cant even begin to give you a basic answer, anon, because i just... don't get it. i think from the tweet exchange that (kinda?) blew up, people took neil saying, "Why did you see it as sexual?" a little bit out of context. to my mind, the op of that tweet literally referenced "The very end of season 2", and that's what neil was responding to (and later confirmed in an ask); the kiss was never intended as sexual, exactly as you've said.

i think possibly some have read it as him being shitty about the concept of sex and specifically in reference to aziraphale and crowley, cross-referenced this with other things he has said (again, more than likely never meant in the context they're being interpreted), and arrived at the above conclusion. it's strange to me, because he has categorically stated that their relationship is intended by him as the co-author as a romantic one. at the very least.

now, he (and sir terry) may not have personally intended them to be romantic at the beginning. but a) neil has been very representative of queer culture and identifications in his other work; the queer element in GO is not exactly strange to be coming from him (ie it's not a bolt out of the blue, and therefore would be potentially performative or queerbaity). and b) as i said in the previous ask, there is a lot of queer representation in GO, of all different types, including gay/lesbian rep. it's not just aziraphale and crowley that are queer in the story, and therefore easily deniable - that's literally not the case. so i do not understand, on this basis, where people can draw the inference that he is homophobic. i just can't - that's a pretty hefty con to have played for so long and so diligently.

i think, from what ive seen, that one of the things that people take issue with is neil's assertion that as supernatural beings, any label as to their sexuality or gender (and how one informs the other) is not applicable to them. i think this has been seen as dismissive of aziraphale and crowley being gay and/or potentially having a sexual relationship. in my opinion, this assertion is narratively clever. first of all - no, they are not human, so on a very base level, sexuality and gender as constructs do not apply to them. they are originally gender/sexless. but this i think only serves to show that aziraphale and crowley are multiple things, and none of those things, all at once. they can be anything you want or interpret them to be, until expressly told otherwise in canon.

on screen, their faces and physiques and chosen presentation however, to my mind, present as human males. but, being crass, we do not know what genitalia or body parts they may or may not have at any given time. they have never described their sexualities (although, in aziraphale's case, assumptions have been made by others). so if you want to interpret them as cis, or intersex, or trans, or non-binary (including non-binary, genderfluid, agender, or bigender), arguably all of those are correct! the only confirmations we have had, iirc, are that, between them, they have used "he/him" pronouns, used the title "Mr", crowley has confirmed he is not a 'lad', and he has previously presented as female. no, human constructs do not technically apply to them, but that leaves their gender and sexuality open to interpretation. i personally hc aziraphale as a cisgender, gay male, and crowley as a non-binary, but usually male-presenting, bisexual person. others may agree, others may not. that the beauty of it!

narratively, these are two supernatural creatures that are, however, going more and more native - they have assimilated to and absorbed a lot of how humans present themselves and interact with each other, on multiple levels. as supernatural beings, they are practically alpha centauri itself (genderless, non-human things that are in a constant orbit and relationship with each other - and then throw in the fact that they love each other deeply). as supernatural-beings-that-have-been-on-earth-for-millennia, however, they are arguably becoming more like what i mentioned above - human. this to me, personally, means that they may identify as male and nb respectively, and may identify as gay and bisexual respectively, and (again, imo) i think would - at this stage - be open-minded to the act of sex. but as i said, once again, in my previous ask - it's perfectly valid if others do not interpret their journey this way.

This rant is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting this beautiful queer love story because two male-presenting characters aren't having sex and so it doesn't actually count as a queer romance. This is about people telling me I'm wrong for supporting the man who gave us this incredible story because he said two scenes aren't sexual in nature and so he is nothing but a manipulative liar. This rant isn't about defending Neil. He doesn't need me or anyone else to do that.

about the above specifically? im really sorry that you're being faced with this, anon. that is grossly and completely unfair. i don't think you necessarily need me to tell you this, but in case you do - imo, you are completely reasonable and justified for reading them as a queer romantic couple that, canonically, have not had sex (and that this has no bearing on their love story). romance and sex are not the same thing, one can and does exist without the other, and the concept of that separation is not deserving of being pathologised. whilst neil certainly doesn't need anyone to defend him, i think it is always still nice to support the author that has written a story this beautiful, symbolic, and illustrative - and imo, not deliberately misunderstand what he has or hasn't said✨

[timandlucy]

Top Lucy and top Tim moments of any kind, aaaand GO!!

Okay but how many???? You gotta give me a number or I'll list every moment on the show 🤭

Top Tim moments:

Acknowledging his own problematic past behaviour - we all hate the gardeners scene, but bringing this back later on, leading to him owning up to it, and promising to do better, is such a great example of how much Tim has grown as a character, and I think that was such an important moment.

Tim visiting his father and sort of trying to make peace with the situation. His dad is a scumbag and he deserves nothing, but watching Tim get some sort of closure, knowing that he came out of it on the other side despite of his trauma is kind of priceless. And I love how in doing so, it enables him to fix his relationship with his sister, and be there for her more as well. "I am who I am in spite of you!" And allowing himself to be vulnerable with Lucy here was also so great to watch. I love this man so much, please let him be happy.

This following one I really love because it shows us the type of man Tim is. "Some things matter more." He can carry this very cynical facade, but deep down he cares so deeply for the people he loves. And I think this was such great timing too, because in 2x11 we saw Tim literally break all sorts of laws to find Lucy. Tim Bradford, the most by the book guy ever literally threatened a guy to find Lucy. Because rules matter. But some things matter more.

Holding off his promotion for Lucy. This is pretty self explanatory, but I just wanna say how amazing it was to see their mentorship really flourish here. He could've passed Lucy on to a different T.O. but he knew they went through something together, and he wanted to see it all the way through.

Tim being the best and the most overworked man of honor. Just that whole... thing. Going to bat for his friend, helping her try on dresses... I love him.

I actually loved the scene he has with Isabel at the rehab facility. With how long he pined for her, you'd think he'd be over the moon to get her back, but he makes the better choice for himself in that moment, and I'm so proud of him for that.

Speaking of proud.... you know what I'm gonna say. THE FIGHT SCENE. I was so proud of Tim for knowing when to step back from a stressful situation and regroup before talking it out. With how hurt he was, some angry words would come out and that's never good. I know most people love the idea of him going to her that same night or vice versa, but I love the idea of them taking a one night breather and coming back to this conversation when they're in the head space to have it.

Top Lucy moments:

Watching the barrel video and deciding not to testify. As much as I hate that Tim wasn't there with her, and that Chris is an insensitive jerk, the truth is this episode is so badass for Lucy. Reliving her trauma, getting through that alone, and then deciding that she doesn't need to prove anything to anyone, because she already did that, by surviving and moving on. That was sort of the closure I've been hoping for her, and am really happy she managed to get it.

I'm such a sucker for a badass Lucy moment, so I really love the UC op she did in 3x14, especially the moment where they come in and are like "I thought you said she needed rescuing" because she truly did so well.

Lucy recording the book for Tim. I love scenes that show us who the character is, and and we know from the beginning she's sweet and kind and that empathy is her superpower, but this is such a great example that Lucy will go to extreme lengths to help out the people in her life (hello she cleaned Smitty's RV). Like it not only took a lot of time to record, and she had to call Isabel to ask her about it, but it also shows how much faith she has in Tim's eventual promotion.

Not really a moment, but Lucy letting Tamara in is pretty at the top for me. Because this woman just refuses to get cynical, despite being put through so much up until that point. You can see how badly she wants to help people and make the world better - and she does. She completely changes the world for Tamara, giving her a home and a family.

Lucy acting as watch commander for a day. Honestly that was just so priceless, and you get to see how much respect her fellow officers have for her. Grey giving her praise at the end because she did such a good job was amazing, and I was rooting for her the entire episode.

I love the moment where she calls Tim out for acting doublefaced after she lied on the report to protect him. I just love love that as hard as he is on her she never ever backs down.

I realize that most of these are involving Tim but she has no friends apparently so.... I love the moment where she shows up for Tim way back in s1. He was such a jerk to her, and yet it took her all of five minutes to realize how much he's hurting. She read him like an open book. So when she showed up there and prevented him from making a mistake that was such a beautiful beginning of what would later evolve in an amazing friendship.

THIS IS SO LONG SARAH, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE ME A NUMBER.

[talisidekick]

Spouse had their second round of surgery today. We're driving home and just stopping in at a co-op to get some things they're allowed to eat. We pull into the parking lot, and the inner wheel lining for our vehicle is falling off so it kind of makes this horrid noise anytime the vehicles wheel turns.

This delightfully curious and old man approaches my driver side window and has this look of concern on his face. The one where something is going horribly wrong, and you know the person -has- to know something is wrong, but you're not sure they know -what- is wrong. So I roll down the window and say hi and he goes. "So your wheel is ... um ..." and just looks down at it and and pauses, not sure how to describe the utter evisceration the wheel has done to this kind of important guard between the road and the front electronics.

And I'm sorry, but this guy looks like he's in his 60's and every alter in my brain is screaming 'make this old man not feel terrible, say -anything- to make this man feel less worried', so what do I say with a laugh and in a tone best described by '^.^'?

"Oh, I know, I'm just too poor to fix it."

Which did not make it better! Realizing that my idiot mouth blurts out:

"We're just running it into the ground! It's okay!"

Which totally doesn't help AT ALL! This man just apologetically looks at me and goes "I'm sorry to hear that, and I suppose if you take it off, that'll only make things cost more in the long run."

So now I feel WORSE and when we part he says something in Yiddish that I only recognize because I have heard it said by a Jewish friends mom when I was growing up as a teen (it got burned into my head because it was the first -ever- time I heard that language spoken). And I used to know what to say back because that friend taught me, but it's been over a decade since and I just stared trying to remember and just awkwardly said "I forget what to say back, I'm so sorry, I hope you have a good day." And then just peaced like the socially awkward DORK I am. I may be eloquent in my writing, and sometimes very well spoken on my streams, but in my real life I am neither of those things. I'm a socially nervous idiot with a bad case of word vomit. So just in case that Jewish man is on Tumblr or somehow sees this:

Sir, thank you for your concern, and please don't let my situation bring your day down! I promise you I'm still smiling and laughing and having a good day despite it all so don't let my situation weigh on you like it seemed to. I'll make it through, and I'll be taking every opportunity to make the tough situations in my life something to smile about in any way I possibly can. Your reach out was touching! It was incredibly nice of you. It's kind of made my last two weeks a bit better given I lost my job, lost my medical coverage, have missed 3 loans payments that the government is getting real angry about, and the bottom of my only vehicle I can't afford to replace is falling off. I know that all sounds bad, but you were a delightful change of pace from it all. I hope you have great things coming your way. ♥

[whatpunkin]

injury stuff and general complaining under the cut

man it's like

i know i'm only about 4-5 weeks post-injury and 3-4 weeks post-op but i'm still so fucking angry and sad and scared about it all

everyone around me sees me sitting with my boot elevated, scooting around in an office chair and generally just trying to rest and i can tell it just doesn't register for them

to them i'm shrugging and making the best of a shitty temporary situation and yay i'll be normal again in a few weeks

in reality i'm not sleeping. i'm barely eating. bathing is a full-on production that requires an extra set of hands just to make it in and out of the shower. every day is a blur that seems to last twice as long as it should. i'm struggling with a constant pain that my pain meds can't touch because it's not even real, it's my nerve endings healing. it feels like fire, it feels like i'm standing barefoot on a metal grate, it feels like someone poured boiling water down my boot, it feels like someone's cutting my foot in half, and on, and on. my incision took way too long to close and now i just have to be afraid of infection indefinitely. my latest post op x rays showed one of the breaks somehow getting worse and i just have to hope it was a weird viewing angle, not my bone refusing to heal. i can still feel the staples coming out of my skin when i think about it, one by one, all 17 of them ripping my skin and leaving new wounds in their wake. i can still feel the pain and the panic i felt when i woke up in recovery and the nurse had laid me directly on my incision and wouldn't listen to me when i was screaming for him to move my leg, he just kept shushing me and pressing the oxygen mask to my face and telling me to take deep breaths. i can still feel the fear i went through when they sedated me in the ER and i had a bad trip that felt like it lasted for hours, while they just fucking left me lying in the cold and wet cut off remains of my clothes and wouldn't give me enough pain meds to handle the fact that they were resetting my bones by hand. i can still feel the pain i felt for the week and a half between my injury and surgery, where every single time i got out of bed, my ankle separated again, forcing me to feel it break over and over and over as my foot just dangled inside the splint. i can feel the plate and the screws inside my leg agitating the nerves and tendons and have to live with the knowledge it'll just be that way unless my doctor decides to remove them years from now. i haven't been able to get comfortable since the break and will very likely just never be comfortable again. i've been told by multiple people i'm just permanently going to be miserable and in pain.

nobody comes to see me anymore now that it's not a new shiny thing. everyone gets to move on except for me, sitting and rotting in my chair.

i haven't walked since christmas. there's a good chance i won't walk until march or even april. i just get to rot until then. 31 days until my next surgery.

i want to fucking die.

[chidoroki]

Tokyo Revengers S3EP1

aka: city wide brawling

So the OP song is the same as last season but the visuals changed? I'm not too bothered by it but I would've loved another great song. The boys already looking so good too. Very excited to see more of Smiley and Angry and hopefully I can learn their names properly now.

Aww, Emma looked so pretty in that one shot.

Oh, that one captain of Toman whom I dunno the name of.. does he switch sides? That scene of him getting up from the chair with that pissed off look on his face ain't giving me good vibes.

I'm like 95% certain that Inui eventually cooperates with us while Koko doesn't and that moment with the both of them with the former disappearing from the latter's side sorta reinforces that idea in my mind.

Oh, yup, that Toman captain (Yasuhiro. I was good and looked him up) joins Tenjiku, with Sanzu right behind him too I think. I guess I should've seen that coming, which means Toman loses its fifth division captain and vice captain.

This fight looks insane already. My boy Chifuyu putting in work, Inui looking so unbothered while kicking ass and Kakucho nailing Takemichi with a heavy hit oh my god.. and that moment of Izana running up on Mikey with crazy eyes is definitely creepy.

I try my best to avoid spoilers, honestly, but Mikey and Izana have some sorta history, don't they? like, family related or whatever. And I'm so not looking forward to what may happen with Emma, if it happens this season.

Anyways, lemme actually start this episode.. and we're starting right where we left off, thank god.

“Takemichty, your mind can't even begin to fathom me.” Bro, my mind can't comprehend you either and I hate it. How can Kisaki just jump around to different gangs and reach an authority status so easily, like the hell is so special about you dude?

Hanma riding in on a bike sporting purple leopard patterns.. what an icon.

YO! Mochizuki! Can you not drag my precious boy like that?? And toss him through the air like a sack of potatoes?? I hope Chifuyu kicks his ass during the upcoming battle.

Tenjiku is already brawling with Toman's second division somewhere else? That's Mitsuya's division, yea? Oh dear.

Ain't no way the twins come rushing in by running over all the Tenjiku members with their bikes!! Seeing Smiley all happy like that is hilarious!

Angry doesn't play around, holy shit, his punches are deadly!

Okay okay, so Angry is Souta and Smiley is Nahoya, but if even their intros call 'em by their nicknames I just might do the same, although that'll just lead me to forget their real ones quicker.

Ah damn, so the twins had beef with Mocchi way before their Toman days huh? Alright, either one of them can get revenge on that dude. That's fine.

The twins are insane but I love them already. Well, I know they've been around since the first season, but finally seeing them more is great.

“What if Kisaki can also travel through time?” I'm not completely certain about him but I do know Takemichi isn't the only one capable of doing so at least.

Oohhh Takemichi is through playing games. That's such an angry and determined face!

I know it won't ever happen, but the fact that killing Kisaki has never been brought up as a viable option to stop this chaos is incredible.

Yuuupp, I knew Mitsuya was involved in that brawl happening far away, but at least he's landing a couple nice hits on Mocchi.

Okay what the fuck Ran?? Knocking Mitsuya down with a damn cement block. What cheap stunt.

“Sorry about the cheap shot.” OH well at least he's self aware!!!

I've seen how loved the Haitani brothers are so I'm interested to find out why, though I don't think causing harm to Toman is ca contributing factor..

Mhhhmm I know nothing about Shion aside from this little scene that was teased in trailers but he's intense.. and apparently he was the ninth gen leader of Black Dragon. That's terrifying.

I got a feeling the info the twins forced outta those two Tenjiku dudes was just bait, because if Kakucho is there then that's certainly not good.

I mean, it's nice he sent the swarm of Tenjiku guys away, but I doubt Kakucho is gonna struggle fighting a 1v4 either.

“First Division’s Captain means you’re the toughest of all of you, right?” “Uh, actually, that’s not really true. He fights with his kindness, not his fists.” Glad Chifuyu said what everyone was thinking.

Crazy to think all these fights are happening everywhere between Toman and Tenjiku while Manjiro and Inaza are just chilling by the sea..

So.. they didn't already know each other? Odd. Perhaps they don't remember one another?

That punch of Takemichi's really knocked down Kakucho so hard he's having a serious flashback.. or Takemichi is anyways.

Wait a damn minute, they knew each other in second grade?? Hello???

“You were my hero.” Another one huh?

“Beware of a traitor.” Well thanks to the OP I got a hunch on who two might be. Maybe.

[unseededtoast]

Rectify | Bucky Barnes

Part 12/37 | Part Eleven, Part Thirteen

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Bucky Barnes x OC

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, alcohol consumption, graphic depictions of violence, sexual content, discussion of suicidal thoughts.

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

The bed feels a lot colder without him by my side.

The sound startles the two of us and we jump back from one another. I get out of the bed and straighten my clothes out, feeling confused and flustered. Bucky opens the door to see who's there and I follow him out. Steve is standing by the couch and looks between the two of us, a quizzical look on his face. I hope he doesn't assume anything intimate happened, I don't want there to be any issues between any of us, and especially not between Steve and Bucky. Steve blinks a few times and clears his throat.

"I hope I'm not interrupting something, I'm here to pick you two up." He says with an authoritative tone. He definitely isn't happy with what he just saw.

Steve walks back up the bunker stairs without another word and I look to Bucky, who shrugs. I grab the red book off the bookcase and we put our shoes on before following Steve up the stairs quietly, a heavy tension between all of us. Outside of the bunker is a Shield jet and I allow Bucky to sit next to Steve, I take the seat in the back. I don't know where we're headed but I hope it's a short trip.

We fly in a tense silence, and I want to break the silence by asking Steve what all happened but I can't muster up the confidence to do so. In a way I feel like Steve is an angry parent, Bucky and I the kids. I'm not even sure what happened between Bucky and I. Sure, we've grown closer and he's made me blush a few times but nothing serious happened. However, I know Bucky was leaning in for a kiss before Steve got there, and I know I would've let it happen.

I'm working for Shield in order to help Bucky recover his memories, provide support, and remove the programming from his mind, not kiss him and complicate things. I feel a twinge of sadness as I realize that no matter how much I wanted to kiss him back, I can't. I have to put the mission and his well-being above my own feelings. I just hope we can continue like nothing happened. I lean my head back against the seat and suppress my confusion and sadness about the situation, trying to get my head back in the game like it's day one.

Steve lands the jet on top of a building and gets out. Thankfully, he waits for the two of us and leads us in where I see Tony standing behind a wet bar. I look around the place and notice it looks similar to a Shield compound, but Tony's name is on a lot of things so I'm willing to bet this is one of his properties. I avoid Bucky's gaze and continue looking around the huge building.

"Where are the others?" Steve asks Tony.

"Bruce is still off the radar, Fury is trying to track him down. Natasha said she has some loose ends to tie up but should be here any minute now." Tony sets a glass down on the counter top and focuses on me.

"Isn't it just so weird how all of these Hydra spies come out of the woodwork once you show up?" I stand frozen in place. I take a few moments to process my thoughts before speaking. I need my words to be meaningful, I know Tony is the type of person that likes to get a reaction, so I won't give him the one he's looking for. 

"I've tolerated you accusing me of being a Hydra operative for over a month now, it's time to give it up. It's not a coincidence that they were there, you found some before I even came along. They were after him, I was just an added bonus. If I were with Hydra I would have activated the Winter Soldier during the alarms and taken him back to Russia for a great reward. You have no right to accuse me of being a spy when I've proved I am no such thing. It's insulting and I won't stand for it anymore." I fight back the urge to yell, knowing that would only invite him to argue with me. I keep my tone calm and collected, my accent becoming more prominent because I'm worked up. I wish I could yell at Tony and punch him across the face. Everyone stays silent, and I turn to walk outside before I start saying things I'll likely regret later. This entire day so far has been one big train wreck.

I walk around the building and sit on the concrete trying to collect myself. Tony hates me, Steve is mad at me, and I know things with Bucky are likely to get tense after what happened this morning. A small part of me wishes I wouldn't have taken this position, but I know if I hadn't I would probably be dead by now and Bucky might never get the programming reversed.

I'm starting to feel like everyone is turning against me. Maybe I can write out instructions as to how I would begin reversing the programming and leave it for Tony and Bruce. They're brilliant and I know they'd be able to do it. I can destroy the book so that there is never a Winter Soldier threat again, and then vanish. Sure, I'll likely still be hunted by Hydra every day of my life, but perhaps that's my destiny. In a way I took Bucky's free will and life, so isn't it fair that I give mine up in return?

Footsteps on the concrete path interrupt my stress-induced escape plan and I see Natasha walking towards me. We've never spoken to each other, and I've really only seen her the one time when I first arrived at Shield. I watch as she takes a seat next to me, not sure what to expect.

"Men are stupid." She says, and I'm not sure what exactly she's referring to but I agree with her nonetheless.

"Most of them are." I say and she cracks a small smile.

"We all know you're not a Hydra operative, even Tony knows deep down that he's wrong. I've been in your position before, I know how it feels." She says, her voice is soft and empathetic. I quickly make eye contact with her before looking out at the property.

"Everything has happened so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was teaching and now I'm here, wherever here is. My life has completely changed in such a short amount of time, it still doesn't feel real." I say, motioning to the building. Natasha stays silent for a moment,

"Hey well at least you get out of grading all those papers." I let out a small laugh, grateful she's lightening the mood a little.

"The school probably thinks I'm some sort of deranged murderer, or that I was kidnapped. I'm sure most of my students are happy they get out of the class for the rest of the semester." I think back to my students. I miss seeing a few of them, like Sarah, and I hope she continues to learn regardless if I'm there or not.

"When Steve dropped Bucky and I off at the bunker he said that the mess needed to be cleaned up. What happened?" I ask her, knowing Steve probably doesn't want to talk to me at the moment.

"Well, we were able to take out a good number of the spies, though some of them got away. I went after a few of them and made sure they can't be a threat again. We weren't able to catch them all though." She says. I wonder if Pierce was one of the ones who escaped. I nod my head and sigh, this is all one big mess.

"They must have been planning something for years, there were so many of them." I say, remembering the number of Hydra spies there were as we escaped the compound. There's no way they could have quickly infiltrated Shield without being detected.

"That's what we're thinking too. But for now it's as taken care of as it can be. Come on inside, I'll show you where your room is." She offers and I follow her back into the building.

Steve and Bucky are in the room we first walk into, the two of them silent. Tony is nowhere to be seen. I avoid making eye contact with Steve and Bucky and continue following Natasha. She leads me to an elevator and we go up a floor. Once we reach the second floor she takes me down the hall on the left and to the second door on the right. She opens the handle and we walk in.

The room is sleek with modern furniture and technology everywhere. It's unlike anything I've seen, Hydra's technology was never this high quality and widespread and Shield's rooms were outdated. Natasha leaves me to explore my new room and I walk around to investigate everything. The sheets are black silk, and the tv mounted on the wall is huge. There's even a mini bar and a couch in here. Across from the couch is a massive window, stretching from floor to ceiling. I look to the ceiling and notice that there are small lights embedded in it, creating a starry night illusion.

A soft knock on the door startles me out of admiring the room. Steve walks in and shuts the door behind him. I don't really want to have this conversation with him, but I guess it'll be good to get out of the way. Steve stands across from me and I wait for him to say something first.

"What happened at the bunker?" He bluntly asks.

"Nothing happened, Steve. He offered to share the bed that one night because the couch started giving me back problems. Nothing more and nothing less happened." I say leaving out the more intimate details because it's really none of Steve's business.

"You have to understand what it looked like though, right?" Steve asks and I nod my head.

"I know exactly what it looked like but I promise you it was nothing more than a friendly offer. I'm here to help him, not get involved like that." I say, feeling sadness as the words leave my mouth. Steve nods, satisfied with my answer.

"Good. I know how Bucky is, he's a flirt and it can be easy to fall into his charm. Just ask my old dance dates." I smile, remembering when Bucky told me he used to "borrow" Steve's dates.

"He told me about that." I smile, feeling that there was no more tension between the two of us. I know I lied to Steve but I can't afford for us to have issues. Steve is the one person besides Bucky I've grown close to.

"Of course he did, but I bet he forgot to mention that after the serum I was the one stealing the dates." I raise my eyebrows,

"Oh is that right? Yeah, I guess he didn't remember that part." I joke with Steve, happy that we're no longer at odds with each other.

Night rolls around and I walk back to my room from having dinner with Steve and Natasha. Bucky didn't want to join us and I didn't insist that he did, maybe he needs space to think things over as well. However, I made a plate for him and put it in the fridge for whenever he does get hungry. 

As I walk to the hall, I notice that Steve left his door open slightly. As it turns out, Steve has the first room on the right in the same hall I did, Bucky has the last room on the right. I'm sandwiched between them in a way. I'm not sure who designated the rooms but I would've preferred to not be in the middle.

I close the door behind me and go to stand in front of the big window, looking out at the night sky. The stars remind me of last night when Bucky and I went out. Though we haven't spoken to each other since this morning, I miss him. We've spent almost every hour together for the past month and it feels weird not having him around. I want to hear his voice, I want to see his bright blue eyes. I wonder if he misses me too. I wish I hadn't taken his offer to share the bed, then things would be okay and he would be here with me right now.

With sadness in my heart I walk to the big bed and get underneath the covers. Just last night Bucky and I were close to one another, his presence was comforting to me just as it always is. I remember the way it felt when he held me close to his chest, his soft lips on my forehead and it hurts because I know it can never happen again. The bed feels a lot colder without him by my side.

[tomyo]

Hi there, I uploaded a lot of comics tonight so I thought I'd just give some info on things no one care about!

So I'm trying to get my eggs in order lately. My therapy comics had kinda been a big practice into being better towards my page layouts in general while also just trying to emotionally vomit hard shite. Admittedly they are also in part just to have a comic portfolio of some sort for event marketing. Tonight was mostly part 1 of working to empty out my backlog but I still have a few left. First what's actually been on the back burner; two 8+ pagers that are kinda foundational to all these since one is a redraw of essentially the first therapy comic and the other was a metaphorical peeling back of the layers of the stages of my mental illness journey to find the start of it. It would've only been those two but tonight I ended up sketching two more 1 pagers, a two pager from when a glass ceiling lamp smashed on my head, and a four pager.

In general my work is in a weird transition, my autobio comics are skewing slightly towards more queer stories and I'm debating taking up another slightly longer project later this year about how even realizing I was gay at 19 felt kinda behind everyone else. There's also been a semi joke story Top Quest which I don't know if I even have the balls to properly work on it. Outside of that my hope is to move onto more fictive stories properly.

Do You Need Love? Is my oneshot I came up with in 2019 thats taken me an ass load of time mostly because I struggle to design the MC fully. The concept is a new customer to a coin op professional cuddling booth; philosophical debate ensues!

Her Tanlines Catch My Eye was supposed to be an even easier one shot because it was August last year and I was gay but my understanding of CSP slowed me down a little on it. It remains to be seen if I'll pick it up again.

'Middle School Zine' is a little bit of a hybrid of a story from each year of being in middle school as a weeb mixed with the 'Naruto Doujinshi' I tried to make in the 8th grade story (it's peak cringe and pick me at points despite being a whole 6 pages).

And then finally is the actual big project I've been sitting on waaaaay too long.

Natural Disaster's Agape was something that's really been sitting around for a while. It's the story of what if someone gave into making every wrong impulsive decision. Gale is a dumb angry lesbian with too much baggage that she doesn't deal with. Her only experience with therapy was being forcibly hospitalized, she self medicates on her friend's meds and drugs, and she causes a lot of unneeded fights. Its hard to sell it beyond that without giving away much more than she gets a girlfriend and they are the worst uhauling, shameless pda ing, couple anyone has ever seen but I can say I'm going for the feeling of a Greek tragedy. NDA has been roughly 40-50% outlined but also always struggled at the character design phase which isn't helped by the fact I keep putting it off for "when I finish all my other shorter projects" which never happens.

As it is, currently it's "a bunch of time sensitive for max effectiveness" charm season that will likely come first but my hopes are that maybe I can finish DYNL in time for Valentine's Day (even though it isn't a love story), maybe try to get the middle school zine done in April and then try to make room to give my attention to NDA the rest of the year (alongside the soul eater plushies which probably mostly just need production back and forth and campaigning to raise the money).

Anyway that's all