#I hope my response has been helpful
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the mourn watch background gives you such a GIFT in having other characters notice and call out on-screen that rook code switches like a motherfucker. the whiplash of hearing my snarky 'heeey I'm just a little guy! :>' funnyman rook speak the heightened ritualized phrases of the mourn watch with perfect seriousness and gravity completely naturally and/or break into an academic tone that can keep up with emmrich at the drop of a hat never stops giving me such endless delight. truly their real mind is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside some hideous mourn watch casual wear
#that last one was just for comedic purposes rye would NEVER wear the mourn watch casual wear willingly#he hated the new livery so much he hoarded every pair of the older watcher robes he could hunt down so they'd tide him over#in the hopes that the next uniform design would be less awful. he is a fancyboy at heart. he should be wearing so many earrings#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#A Watcher's work is never done#rye's whole deal is half built on the feeling of 'we've had a lot of fun here today folks. but at the end of the day I have given my oath#and I mean to fulfil it. so either help me do that or get out of my fucking way' that sort of naturally rises out of this contrast#and everyone who has for a moment doubted his complete seriousness and sincerity about it so far has ended up much deeper#than six feet under by the end of it all haha#I've found I've actually been able to build a really good sense of character here (with some reloading to see different options#to be sure lol I am a control freak) -- mixing in a stoic response in certain situations for example can inform so much with so little#and the contrast works out to be so much greater.#just this sense of a layer of levity and awkwardness on top of an immense and unflinching seriousness#that sometimes shines through. it's uh. it's been really good for me
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Trigun Maximum Chugai Grace Cafe Collaboration - I Translated the Website :3
Hi I saw someone on twt wanting this to be translated and that's literally all it takes to get me moving anymore so!
Anyways I translated all the food and drinks, I found the references they chose really cute except for the evil one lmao and I also included the unbelievably small print drink ingredients if you wanna try mixing them yourself!! 🫶
Also also, if you know how to use a proxy, there is actually some stuff here that overseas fans can get our hands on!! Under the cut to keep the dash clean!! Hope it helps!!!!!
Edit my dumbass forgot the original announcement link sjshsk IT’S HERE!!!
So, the menu
Going from left to right we've got
"Battle Sausage Spaghetti"
"As Many Salmon Sandwiches You Want"
"Love&Peace Donuts"
"Banana Sundae"
and on the bottom row
"The Perfect Meal Plate: Vash's Handmade Fried Rice and Salad" ((´༎ຶོω༎ຶོ`) o k )
"Particularly Wonderful Udon"
"Mille-feuille with Ceylon Tea" (i believe the first part specifies gateau mille-feuille but I went to episode one and checked the subs for what they had her say officially and they left the gateau off so I did too)
"Latte with a random character art"
Character Drinks!!!
The Bride Soda, which comes with a double-sided postcard of the sworn friends (very common nickname for Vash and Wolfwood in JP fandom and ig official uses it too)
So the soda is their proprietary thing, it doesn't say what flavor it is or if it has one, but the shotglasses come with a little bit of smoked oak syrup and black ceylon tea and you're meant to fill the rest of the glass with soda and drink it that way. And then the rest of the text is just information and disclaimers for customers that plan on taking the bottle home (I guess it breaks really easily that’s So. lmao).
Vash's Drink <3
strawberry syrup
carbonated water and lemon juice
yellow candied cherries (drained cherries) and ice
Wolfwood's Drink
crushed coffee jelly and cafe ice (ice made and flavored with concentrated coffee and fruit juice)
brewed iced coffee and gum syrup
blue curaçao syrup and carbonated water
experimental ampules filled with blue soda
the cigarette is full of light brown sugar you're meant to mix in before drinking
Knives's Drink
apple juice and round sliced apples
mint and ice (it looks like mint leaves but full disclosure they have blurred that kanji to all hell I have no idea)
Legato's Drink
blue curaçao syrup
grapefruit juice
carbonated water and a mint cherry
a lemon and ice
Collab Merch
(Overseas pay attention here!!!!!! ChugaiOnline is opening these to online orders so we can get them with a proxy, I'll leave their link at the end of this section!!!!!!)
I've also listed all the prices in yen here so you can convert them to your currency, and all of these are the prices including the listed Japanese sales tax. If you want to see the price without it, it’s just the other number on the image!
So they've got
Two way acrylic figure stands (the main stand comes with a ball chain, you can reference these on Amiami for what this kind of product looks like I'm prettyyyyy sure like they're called different but it looks like they go together the same way). Anyways this is a set of 6 and 1650 yen each, it looks like you get to choose which one you want but they don't have a deal listed for getting all of them.
Next to it are the buttons (also called can badges idk which one is more common over here), set of 12 (6 are regular and 6 are glittery variety). They are 550 yen per button AT RANDOM, THEY WILL GIVE YOU A RANDOM ONE, or a box with one of each all 12 for 6600 yen.
Below that is the polaroid collection, it's also a 12 piece set and you can get A RANDOM ONE, THEY DO NOT LET YOU PICK for 330 yen each or a box with all of them for 3960 yen.
The same exact deal with the plastic (like a vinyl material) postcards underneath, they're double-sided and come one for 660 yen each at random or the whole set for 7920 yen.
The calendar is for 2025 and is 1980 yen probably obvious but y'know
I would be so shocked if a proxy actually let you ship the Kuroneko sama cookie discs lmao but hey wtf they're 1080 yen.
The Bride soda is listed here because this is the same merch that will be sold in the shop but they specify elsewhere that it's not available for online order even in Japan you have to go to the cafe ;-;
Also this is just personal experience but a lot of proxies will not let you get like blind or random stuff like the buttons they don't let you pick which one, some of them will only let you get it if you're getting the whole box.
Annnnnnd online order special gifts!!
For every 3000 yen spent in merch (including tax) you will get a random postcard from this set!! There are 15 to collect, they are NOT divided into halves of the event, you can get any of them at any time or all at once!! However, you can't combine orders made at different times/by different people to get more and if they run out that's it. Altho fwiw I have never seen an event run out of these lol
The online order period will be from Friday, May 24th at 11 am to Sunday, June 16th at 11:59 pm (both JST) and items will begin to arrive (within Japan, proxies will have to handle our own shipping ofc) from August 2024 on a first ordered first shipped basis.
CHUGAIONLINE STORE (JAPAN)
Ok, this last bit is relevant to the in-person cafe experience so it's just for if you're curious about other cool things going on or you have a hobby of watching JP mercari like a hawk and wanna know what to expect!
Guests who reserve places at the cafe online will get copies of some of Nightow sensei's most prized sketch pages, they'll get 3 random ones! Like with the special gift postcards, there are a limited amount and this event will end when they're all gone.
And these are the coasters, guests will get one with every item they order off the food or drink menu at random (while supplies last)! The variety you can get is split between the former and latter halves of the event so there's something new to come back for even if you've already been once! (The first 12 days is on top and the last 12 days is on bottom)
They're also doing a wallscroll campaign!
They'll have these decorating the venue, and when the event is over a raffle will be held where the winners get to pick out a scroll of their choice!
OK I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING RELEVANT HAPPY TRIGUN MANGA CAFE EVENT!!!!!
#trigun#trigun maximum#english translation#chugai has honestly been so fucking good to us yknow theyre the ones responsible for the mochi plushies and nendroids too??#yeah i genuinely hope you guys use this as a guide to make them make a billion dollars this is now a mutually beneficial trigun relationshi#i hope that person on twitter finds this anyways sdflkj#leaving in the tags but yall know this is a very small blog so. its not in my requests but if any of you ever need help finding something o#or help with a proxy genuinely just hmu i gotchu#ok goodnight
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ideal ggy reveal for me right now is some sort of game whatever format theyd use (for example sb vs hw is very different storytelling) about vanny killing dr rabbit and it leads up to the beginning of sb at the end
#like more vanny shows rab in a game therefore making ggy canon for sure explains why gregory was in the pizzaplex#would show one of the stepping stones vanny took to get to glitchtrap to kill him like she killed rab#it just makes sense to me#also works for vanny cassie#since rab will be no threat since hes dead so vanny has the spotlight#and gregory with his connection to cassie feels guilt over letting the same thing that happned to him and his family happen to her#so now he feels responsible to help her#leading to a game with gregory protag and vanessa and freddy co-protag/guides#im just explaining the secret little future fnaf game storyline im hoping for in my head#i just feel like if vanny cassie is real#which it RLLY seems like it is after hw2#revealing ggy before some sort of action would be taken would mean a lot#for gregory and cassies relationship#he would uave been in her boat and feel guilt for not being fast enough to save her from tbe same fate#i know vanessa would work better because she was vanny but she has no connection or friendship with cassie like gregory does#and it gives ggy some importance too#that is kinda more to serve the cassie plot than to make ggy more important or overshadowing vanny#not that ggy could overshadow vanny if vanny cassie is happening lol#pandas.txt#thoughts#theory#kinda#im just being hopeful#by hw2s dlc things will be so different#its so impossible to guess whatll happen in a fnaf game#and what will change#superstar duo#ggy#this is ALSO heavily based on a theory of mine that vanny killed rab @ the beginning of sb and thats why greg was at the pizzaplex#and how he got freed and why rab is nowhere to be found
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New Age au (A Day at Dream's)
Hey y'all! This is another pre-story Drabble, this time from Dream's perspective! Exiled prince doing his best to interact with the populous and do his daily tasks! This was mainly just an attempt from me to get back into writing for this au, and ofc, fleshing out Dream! Hope y'all enjoy!
(Who do I normally tag? @ancha-aus @papiliovolens @mutzelputz I believe? Welcome back y'all!)
The morning was warm, something that Dream had to be grateful for. Ever since the incident, it seemed like he was faced with far more cloudy days than sunny ones, even in the midst of summer. The winters froze so harshly that trees would splinter at the branch, limbs cracking like cannon shots in the nights. The spring was full of awful thunder storms that spewed lightning and wrought floods, and the fall was constantly welcoming wind storms that threw around the rotten remains of plants all about. Even Blue had to admit that the weather was much worse here than his home kingdom, after the first year they’d spent at the very border of Orchard.
Summers were hit and miss, either clinging to the traces of those awful storms, making everything sticky and humid, or beginning the dry season. This morning, as far as Dream could tell, might’ve finally been the start of a dry season. The garden didn’t seem to be swamped, it didn’t seem to be wilted either. The plants always seemed to know when rain was coming, because their leaves would downturn. After so many years, Dream made it a habit to glance out one of the back windows to make sure he knew just what to expect from the day.
Buttoning his over-cloak, he found himself lingering at the window for a second. He knew he’d have to talk with a returning scouting party later in the afternoon, their most survived thus far, but beyond that there wasn’t much else. Go about the camp, see if he could boost morale, maybe get in a training session with Blue…
Speaking of Blue, his loyal knight was seemingly nowhere to be found.
Dream took a moment, crossing the quaint living room of their cabin to squint at the sky. Hmm, already past midday. He had been up rather late last night, night terrors plaguing him as they often did nowadays. He must’ve slept in, Blue had always been an early riser. Up just before the sun, back to bed late in the evening. Dream was pretty sure the only days he hadn’t seen Blue out on a morning jog were those that he asked the other to stick around. For safety, for planning, for breakfast… If he knew Blue well enough, which he liked to think he did, Blue was probably out right about now helping the supply carts unload to the outer tents. They always came in on the 2nd of every month, and the calendar marked it as such. Bless Blue for keeping such good track of affairs.
The prince was practiced as he pulled on his remaining accessories. His archery gloves, which carried up to his elbows, and the thick leather boots gifted to him by a cobbler in the closest village. The boots were durable and comfortable, and while they weren’t the morst appealing at first, Blue had suggested that they find someone to embroider them with Dream’s symbol, the sun. They’d done so, asking one of the refugees they’d taken in if she could, and now they felt much more homey. Of course, it’d been several years now and they were looking worse for wear, but he’d grown a bit sentimental.
These things were his, and he could keep them as long as he liked. No one here cared if they were mud-stained and threadbare in a few places, they were always looking at his face, after all.
The moment they were buckled securely, Dream took the chance to stroll towards the door and push outside.
Just as his plants suggested, the air was warm and dry, something which was deeply familiar to him, and admittedly placed him into a much warmer mood. Especially because, with the good weather, folks had gone about and placed their tapestries outside again. Banners and hanging pieces, all adorned with the shapes of the sun, in bright yellows, striking orange, and even some with that familiar pink accent. Usually, when it rained or snowed, they’d place the expensive and valuable symbols inside for safety, but with the warm air it felt only right that he could once again see his colors flying.
It reminded him why he was doing all this. He had to regain power, to usurp his brother. Free him from whoever was whispering lies into his ears. Be crowned and see his sun in place of the moons which had infected every inch of the capital and many cities beyond. Though, for now, this was good enough. His own little paradise.
The walk int the campsite proper was a little ways out from the cabin, a slightly thinner trail through a thin set of trees. Enough that he could see the camp, but the camp wasn’t directly connected to his little house, he needed his privacy every once in a while.
From even the short walk away he could hear that the camp must’ve been bustling. Warm weather tended to make all of his people more active, it was familiar and welcoming, and rife with time to finish tasks like chores, or playing games, or, even better yet, training. Here there was no dedicated guard like back home, but the militia was very involved in wanting to learn combat, and Blue was certainly a good motivator for them. The clashing of steel and grunting of labored movements was one of several clue-ins that he’d have to stop by the little patch of dirt they used as a training arena of sorts. Off to the side of camp, with a few benches, a shed to store practice weapons, and several targets for aiming practice. Nothing fancy, but certainly enough for these people to learn.
The prince could hardly help himself as he stepped into the camp proper and slipped that way.
Each step passed colorful tents, heavy canvas died different colors by whoever most often occupied them. Some tenets were larger, housing the folks who stayed here as their home, run out of whatever village or city drove them off. Others were smaller, filled with supplies or individual tents for guests, dedicated to their returns.
Dream passed Inl’s tent and smiled to himself in the silence. The inside fo the tent was piled high with half-finished paintings and splattered all over with different pigments. Paint was an expensive commodity, but Ink always seemed to know just how to make the brightest pigments out of the most random objects, plants and rocks and leaves he found on the ground, it was magical. The only thing he’d ever finished when he stayed at the camp for that brief while was the painting which Dream had practically begged him for, a royal portrait, or sorts. Dream sat atop a throne, Blue stood beside him at perfect attention, holding the sun-themed banner. It had been perfect, and it was another of Dream’s prized possessions. After that, Ink hadn’t had the focus to do any of the other paintings he started, but many of them were about tails of Dream’s usurpment, tails of tragedy told to him by the people, made in rough color splashes or with a big chunk of white at a corner where he lost his focus and moved on. Dream had gone inside once to make sure Ink hadn’t left anything behind before he left, but decided it felt lifeless and cold without the artist inside.And besides, Ink could never quite draw Nightmare right. Even though he’d drawn Dream perfectly, and they were identical twins, something always felt off about those pieces.
The brief moment thinking about the artist fled. He was surely off killing some corrupt noble right about now for his own corrupt pay, and it was frankly none of Dream’s business so long as Ink wasn’t after his own people.
His boots carried lightly over the soft grass, trodden down by the constant walking about camp. Light green and pretty, his heels sunk into soft soil beneath like some sort of bog, but it didn’t bother him a bit. If he had his way, the sun would stay out all day and dry up the ground a bit, make it more even and solid. Easier to walk over, less likely to slip into.
To just his luck, only a few people spotted him in passing, waving or calling out to him, and a smile and a wave of recognition was all they needed to move on with their days. His aura must’ve been getting stronger, because he could only taste the ambient contentment from the entire camp as he wandered his way towards his destination.
And, soon enough, it was upon him. That little patch of ground where the sounds had been coming from. Where the magic of monsters and the energy of humans were all alight with passion and focus. It was a wonder they all stayed so committed. Though, Dream had learned fairly quickly that people like these, who worked in farms, or crafts, making their money day to day, would work harder than any other person he’d ever met. Plus, it wasn’t nearly as hard for them to train as others. These very people could wrangle a steer with their bare hands, so all they needed was the fine-tuning and weapon training, none of the strenght building which usually took so long.
That was probably why, now, they were as adept as they were with their weapons. Swords and halberds and morning stars and hammers, all of them clashed with another weapon or a practice dummy. Of course, there were only about 10 people out and about at the moment, but a few others sat on the sidelines.
There was a brief moment where he was simply stood there. Something about combat, the thrill of the sounds and the movements and the force behind each swing, it was all mesmerising to him. He’d always been a natural with long-range weapons, and they were the only ones his mother ever approved of him using. Staying out of the direct line of fire, attacking from far away, that was what would protect his physical body, and his image. If he was struck in a fight, then people would look poorly upon him. Of course, if he’d become King he could’ve done anything. Could’ve learned the sword, or even daggers, and gotten up close and personal. Seen the flurry of emotions fly through his opponents eyes even before he tasted them. No mother to tell him no, no babysitter, nothing. Just him and the battle.
Alas, here he is, still using his arrows, and still not using close-combat weaponry, unlike the training warriors before him. In fact, he was pretty positive he was one of the only people who actually used the arrow range, even if he didn’t need to anymore. Shots were engrained into his mind, muscle memory practically as easy as sleeping. Maybe easier, actually.
Regardless, he found himself forcing his eyelights past the forms of the fighting parties, and instead skimmed for Blue. Dream didn’t want to interact with the merchants today, but he knew Blue’s next stop would most likely be here. He couldn’t ever pass up as great a day as this to practice.
“Prince Dream!” The call for him was loud and excited, and a hot rush of child-like wonder burned through his focus as he stood waiting.
His eyelights shot over, catching sight of a monster he knew should be familiar to him. There very very few people who brought their little ones to the camp, for safety reasons mostly, and those who did often had very subdued children, ones who rarely spoke or played or caused trouble. This child was entirely different. Dream always knew they were nearby, because children’s emotions were far more potent. Adult emotions felt like a warm bath, while children’s joy, for example, was like someone had splashed hot tea onto his lap. Not painful, but far more striking.
The tyke who rushed towards him now was giggling in high-pitched squeals and stared at him with two bright orange eyelights, beig and round. He was a little skeleton, maybe four, who had white bones with splotches of a greyish hue splattered across his face and hands. Today he was wearing a little white and yellow tunic which had obviously taken some falls into the grass since he put it on that morning.
“Copper, what did we say about running with the practice blade?” Another voice called out, this one deeper and far more familiar to Dream.
The little one, who Dream now spotted was carrying a dulled wooden dagger in one of his clumsy hands, bolted past Dream’s legs, only to pivot and rush in circles around him with an energy unmatched and giggles that were unrivaled in joy. HE was obviously getting enjoyment out of causing mischief for his guardian.
Dream’s gaze traveled away from Copper with his smile in-tact, not getting a look at the adult whom he knew he knew. Eclipse, one of Copper’s two parents. He was also a skeleton, older than Dream by at least a decade, and much taller with broader shoulders. His bones were a perfect white, his face a bit long, and his eyelights a simple white. He was wearing a tunic not unlike his son, but adorned with all sorts of belts and a heavy fur wrapped around his shoulders despite the heat. It was a dark brown, his partner’s prized pelt.
Of course, he should’ve expected to see Eclipse sometime today. He’d been eagerly awaiting his partner’s return from the mission. They’d be back tonight.
“Eclipse, how have you been?” Dream asked courteously, drawing his eyes back to Copper with a plan rapidly forming.
Eclipse came to a halt beside him, at least an arm’s length away, and sighed a fond sigh. “I am faring well, all considered. Since Ichor went off for this mission, Copper’s been insisting that he has to learn to fight so he can protect us.” Eclipse said. “I apologize for his antics, he’s insisted that he start training right away.”
Eclipse sounded humored, but Dream could feel the tiredness seeping from his shoulders. A tension that was surely weighing on him. For a moment, it had entirely slipped his mind, but a glance confirmed his suspicion. Ichor and Eclipse had been away from camp fro a few weeks, about four months back. They’d had a soulling, and now it sat bundled in Eclipse’s arms, quiet and content, probably sleeping. Something warmed Dream’s heart, knowing that this little skelton was under the impression that he could defend his father and little sibling.
Dream chuckled under his breath and gave a genuine grin, letting a small burst of positivity wave away from his core, pushing back a bit of Eclipse’s worry along with it.
“No need to be sorry, I was eager to train when I was young too.” Dream confided, but before Eclipse could give a response, Dream crouched and shot his arms out, catching Copper under the arms and practically tossing him up into the air. He was obviously taken by surprise, because he shrieked with glee and stared at Dream with his big eyelights and the biggest smile. He looked a lot like his other parent, Dream realized.
Copper giggled and Dream held him aloft. Copper hardly weighed anything, and it was a little cute how he kicked his muddy little boots in the open air as Dream held him aloft. He was entirely unbothered by his capture, and the energy obviously had yet to fade.
“So, you want to be big and strong to protect your father and little sibling?” Dream asked to Copper, making a mock serious face, obviously exaggerated and playful.
Copper gasped and nodded rapidly, excitedly brandishing his little wooden dagger. “Papa gave me dis! I stab any bad guys!” He insisted excitedly, swishing it around wildly in his little hand, arm limited to his side by the way Dream was holding him.
Now this was an excited little fellow. Very cute and lively. Dream wondered if he ad this much energy, rushing ahead of his twin to get out into the courtyard and run around, climb the trees when their babysitter wasn’t looking. Nightmare sometimes wrestled with him, he missed those days.
“Well, I thin you have the makings to be a brave warrior!” Dream encouraged, Copper wriggling happily in his grip, “Just remember, your papa and father want to keep you safe too, so listen to them, alright? That’s how you can get to be just as strong as them.”
This was met by Copper’s nodding yet again, “So, don’t go running with that dangerous blade, alright? You might accidentally stab a not-bad guy.” Dream added, to which Copper gasped.
The little boy pulled one of his hands to cover up his mouth with wide eyes, shaking his head vigorously. “I won’t stab a not-bad guy! Only bad bad guys!” He insisted.
Dream just shook his head and tutted, “I know, I know, but accidents happen! My friend Ink, he fights with knives sometimes, and he tripped and almost stabbed someone right in the eye once!” Dream exclaimed, and closed his right socket dramatically.
This seemed to make Copper hold back a growing smile, and instead his expression was something almost close to a pout. His best attempt at a serious face, Dream had to imagine. Copper nodded one singular, forceful, nod this time. Some sort fo silent pledge not to run with his dagger anymore.
Dream smiled at him, “Good, good! First step to becoming a strong warrior, listen to your parents.” he insisted, before lowering Copper down with a smooth motion.
The kid giggled again as Dream rustled the top of his skull, and Copper made careful steps towards his dad, an obvious attempt at suddenly being responsible with the harmless wooden blade. Dream was a little proud, usually he did much worse with kids, had to resort to his magic. Maybe Blue was rubbing off on him after all.
“You really are a miracle-worker, my Prince.” Eclipse said softly, reaching one of his own hands down to gently caress the top of Copper’s skull. He nuzzled into his father’s leg and hugged it, attention distracted by watching the other fight not far off from them.
Dream didn’t deny it, and instead just slunk a bit closer. He peered down at the babybones wrapped in Eclipse’s arm, held snug in place by a sling. It was pearly white just like its brother, but had a slightly longer face with pronounced cheekbones. Dream couldn’t help but notice the tension return to Eclipse’s emotions.
“What’s their name, have you two decided yet? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to check in with you sooner.” Dream asked.
Eclipse seemed unbothered when Dream lifted a hand and gently brushed it against the babybone’s skull. It didn’t stir, didn’t even seem to register the contact.
“His name is Steel.” Eclipse answered softly, “I told Ichor we wouldn’t be naming any more after metal alloys, but I can never say no to him. Steel’s eyelights are a beautiful shade of metallic silver, it was just too fitting.” Eclipse muttered. “And please, don’t trouble yourself with it. We are well aware of how busy you have been.”
Eclipse gently bounced his arm a bit, and the babybones curled a bit closer to his chest, burying into the fur cloak draped over Eclipse’s shoulders. He seemed a bit more at ease as the little one gave a little smile in his sleep.
“Handsome name, Ichor has good taste I’m afraid.” Dream teased, eliciting a smale laugh from Eclipse.
“Do you think he’ll make it home safe, my prince?” Eclipse suddenly asked.
Dream blinked in surprise, looking up to Eclipse. The other skeleton still had his eyes on the babybones tucked against his chest, but Dream had a feeling he was being watched nonetheless.
“You mean Ichor?” He asked, and to a hum of confirmation, he tilted his head with a grin, “I’m sure he’ll come home safe and sound. Blue’s been sure to send him on non-combat missions, and with plenty of back-up and supplies. We both know that he has a family waiting for him here, we wouldn’t send him anywhere dangerous.”
That was a lie. Dream didn’t have any qualms about it. He just knew it was a lie. Every mission was dangerous, could turn to combat, and might end in death. Every person here, as much as Blue tried to deny, was expendable. They were part of a cause, they had to be. Of course, Dream would never put children in danger, but Ichor, just like every other person here, came willingly looking to help. He volunteered his family for this willingly.
Of course, that isn’t what people like to hear. So, he’ll tell him things he’s heard Blue say. Blue was so kind-hearted, a softie. The moment he heard Ichor and Eclipse were having another soulling he’d re-assigned all their missions and work, and even after they’d both recovered, after Ichor was no longer carrying, he sent the guy on the easier missions. Blue didn’t want to split a family.
Eclipse sighed, almost with relief, at Dream’s words. “Thank you, my Prince. I suppose I’m just worried over nothing. I’ve been known to do such silly things.” Eclipse relented, and smiled. It was tired, but much happier than before. Dream’s aura must’ve finally gotten to him. Broken down those worries.
“Anytime, Eclipse. I suppose I’ll see you at their return tonight?” Dream voiced, though he knew the answer. Of course he’d be there.
Eclipse only took a few more moments, wishing Dream a good rest of the day, before he ushered his son foreward and off elsewhere. Dream waved goodbye to them until they passed a corner, and he internally sighed in relief as he turned back to his original goal.
Dream moved closer by a few paces and plopped himself down onto one of the benches, one side left empty by someone who had just rushed onto the field. He summoned his bow to his hands and fiddled with the string, and ill-disguised attempt at seeming busy as he just watched the proceeding spars.
So many people stopped him daily around camp, often simply wanting to chat and catch up on their lives. Eclipse’s new babybones was, thankfully, the most exciting piece of news in the last few months, but before that was a wedding between a bunny monster and a hare monster, before that was the death of someone’s spouse and a subsequent burial, before that siblings reunited, they all had their own stories and things to keep track of. Dream found it trivial, but unfortunately, everyone expected him to now these things, remember them, keep track and ask when they met outside of business times. If he wanted these people to stay, he needed to know.
His only grace was that Blue was very talented in chatting. Where Dream could rouse crowds and battalions, Blue thrived in a setting of just one or two, and somehow knew just about everything about everyone. They’d talk over dinner, about what they did while split up doing their duties. Dream would tell him about the state of the garden, or the new map he managed to draw up with the cartographer, while blue would tell him all the latest menial news. Crushes, holiday plans, when new people were coming in, all of it. He was always so happy, that Dream simply learned to remember it through him. Shockingly an easy feat.
The clanging of swords and the heat were both a welcome comfort, Dream was soaking in the sun like some sort of lizard on its rock.
Dream just hoped he wouldn’t eat his words later. Blue had sent ichor and a few others on a mission to simply attend the latest ball, and annual celebration for one of his brother’s elite knights. The Criminal, he thought, the one with the tiger mask. Killer. The parties hadn’t had conflict in the four years they’d been running, and Dream was pretty sure ichor wouldn’t go missing. Yet, anyone they sent directly to the capital had a habit of not returning. Blue had forbade him from sending more spies that way, and had only agreed to send a small party because the ball was meant to be open to the public, so they wouldn’t be technically intruding or trespassing. Along with that, Ichor wasn’t directly affiliated with their cause. Eclipse, up until now, was usually the one more familiar with intel-work. Ichor had always been more focused on welfare and support. So, Ichor couldn’t be recognized. ‘
Dream would just have a lot of explaining to do if his promise went awry. Grieving souls were never easy, especially those who had children in tow. They often loved the hardest, and fell shortly after their beloved. Frankly, Dream didn’t want to lose two promising members of the rebellion, or be left with their children in the worst case scenario.
The prince sighed to himself. Blue would scold him for thinking like this. Maybe he should worry less about the return party and more about his own training. He couldn’t risk getting rusty now.
- -
Dream was aware the range was a bit out of his sight from where he’d wandered off to get a drink of water, but when he returned, he hadn’t expected to find an arrow embed itself into the block he was passing beside.
He jumped a bit with the force of the heavy thunk and almost choked on his own breath when he spotted exactly who was actually training with a bow of all things.
Across the range, looking wide-eyed and surprised, was Blue! He had their heavy long-bow clutched in his right hand, an arrow hanging to his side y his left, and a whole slew of arrows leaned against the fence behind him, the kind with thin, piercing points that could tear through armor. Dream had never been more baffled, amused, and amazed all in one. Why was Blue training archery?
“Dream! Hey!” Blue called out, and he sounded a bit awkward.
Dream took a moment to examine the arrow which had pieced the block of hay they were using as a target. It had entirely missed the circle, actually passing itself at an odd angle through he side, the point poking out from the other end haphazardly. That must’ve used a lot of force if nothing else.
Actually, it seemed Blue might’s been making some progress. Dream had been gone for almost half an hour, caught up in talk with one of the new refugees, welcoming them to the camp. That had given his knight plenty of time to try more than enough shots. Dream spotted now the several arrows which had dug themselves into the dirt, all at a downward falling angle as through Blue had been aiming for the dirt. Then, beyond the hay bale, he could see that several trees in the woods beyond had arrows embedded in them. He didn’t know how he’d missed them, honestly.
Dream circled back and gripped one which had dug into a pine tree’s skinny trunk, and tugged with all his might. He nearly stumbled, and the end of the arrow seemed to have sap coating it, like blood of the tree itself.
Dream actually laughed as he finally approached his knight, the arrow in-hand.
“If you wanted syrup so badly, we could’ve asked for some on the resupply.” Dream joked.
He tapped the shaft of the arrow to the top of Blue’s skull, and the knight sheepishly ducked away from the sticky feeling, the arrow moving with him for a moment before springing away. Blue’s eyelights didn’t evade Dream’s, but Dream couldn’t help but notice the embarrassment becoming far more potent from his friend.
“Ah, yes, you see…” Blue started, before pausing, “I had no intention of harming the flora.” Blue said, though it seemed a bit half-hearted.
Blue rubbed at his skull as he lowered the long-bow from his front, down to his side. It was a huge weapon, with a string practically made of metal. Dream didn’t usually bother with the long-bows, sticking to the normal bows, or in desperate situations, crossbows. It took way too much power to shoot a longbow for his liking, limited movement. Usually people on horses used them. Dream couldn’t see the light leave someone’s eye from atop a finicky horse.
“It was a good shot, even if you didn’t mean to hit the poor tree, Blue.” Dream amended. The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass Blue, it was obvious the mood was tanking with Dream’s ill-timed jokes. “Can I ask why you’re trying out the long-bow today?”
The feeling of Blue’s pride washing over Dream like a comforting blanket as the other seemed to get a second wind. He puffed his chest and lifted the bow right in front of him again.
“The Magnificent Blue has actually been learning to shoot for some time! The smaller ones that you use are not very cooperative, but this large one does well!” The explained proudly, “It was meant to be a surprise, but I would not lie to you!”
He seemed largely unbothered by the fact that this secret of his had just been broken wide open. Though, Dream had to imagine this had been going on for a while now. The last time Dream had seen Blue attempt to shoot an arrow, it had narrowly avoided breaking their window in the back garden. They still had a notch in the wall on the back porch, because Dream begged Blue not to fill it in. He’d laughed so hard, and back then he’d needed a good-
“Wait, why was it going to be a surprise?” Dream asked curiously, raising a brow to watch Blue.
The knight laughed loudly, “Because! The plan was to get very very good at it, and then join you for a practice one day and show you! I know you are very talented with lond-range weapons, and if I were too, then I could fight beside you without placing you in danger! You mentioned it once, a while back.” Blue explained as though it was the simplest thing in the world.
Dream felt a little something in his chest shift to the left as he processed what Blue was referencing. He had mentioned that. Back when they had to scare off some bandits during their trip here, before they found the cottage. He wished Blue hadn’t had to charge in while Dream sat up in a tree and shot at them. Dream had wanted to be in the fray, but… Blue thought he wanted them both to be long range fighters? So they could stay close?
That was up there with some of the most heartwarming things Blue had ever done for Dream. Trust him, there were a LOT of heartwarming things Blue had done. This was surely, however, in the top 15.
“Oh, that’s kind of you.” Dream said gently,
In his distraction, Blue had knocked another arrow and lifted it up. Lined it. Drew the string back. Released.
The heavy string cut through the air with a vocal slapping noise, and both skeletons watched idly as the arrow arced through the air and just hardly skimmed the top of the hay bail, chunking into the ground somewhere behind it instead. There was a moment of Blue letting out a breath and calmly lowering the bow before he grinned again at Dream. His expression was so concentrated not two moments before.
“You know that I would do anything for you, Dream. Besides, using a bow is rather fun! I was unaware of how careful you have to be while firing, and setting it up, and aiming.” He listed off with a laugh.
Now the bow was back at Blue’s side, and Dream was even a bit impressed with his bow etiquette. It wasn’t pressed to the first at his side, he wasn’t fidgeting and bending it, even his motions before he hadn’t dared to dryfire with it. He wondered if Blue had picked it up from him, or if he’d sought out advice from another bowman somewhere. Either way.
“I never meant to discourage you from using your hammer, Blue. I know you’re the happiest while fighting with it.” Dream said earnestly, “But if you wish to continue working with the long-bow, I’m sure I could give you a few pointers.”
At the enthused expression he received from his knight, Dream grinned, “And then maybe you could teach me to use a hammer. Or, maybe a morning star? They always seemed to have a fitting name.” Dream teased, but Blue seemed even more delighted by the thought.
“That sounds great! We should start now!” Blue agreed, and readied his bow again.
Dream was a bit startled, but couldn’t bring himself to deny the enthusiasm. After all, he’d been hoping to train with Blue today anyways.
He watched again as Blue lined up his shot, but this time, he actually watched carefully. He moved behind Blue, and immediately saw a smidge of problem.
“Here, lift your elbow a bit higher.” He instructed, He stepped forward and set his hand under Blue’d elbow, the one which was pulling his arrow back. He shifted under the touch and stopped right where Dream stopped nudging. Immediately his posture looked a lot better, and his aim seemed more sure.
“Try pointing a bit further to the right, you’re leaning left.” He added on, and saw Blue squint a bit harder at his target, before repositioning his aim, shifting his feet along with it before Dream could say anything.
Then, when Dream gave the commend to release, Blue sent the arrow flying.
This time, it whistled as it shot and struck the bail right at the top ring of the target, almost dead center. Blue whooped an excitement, and Dream hummed. He could’ve sworn that would’ve hit the bullseye…
Without much through, Dream summoned his own bow and took aim from Blue’s side. His night went quiet, watching intently, and Dream let loose his arrow with less than half the preparation time, hardly a thought. Just as he’d expected of Blue’s, the arrow pierced the center of the ring flawlessly, though it didn’t sink in nearly as deep. His brow furrowed as the stared at the target. Why hadn’t Blue’s shot done that?
Sure, the bow was heavier, the arrow too, but the fundamentals should’ve been the same. The golden arrow and landed below the other one, why was that?
“Dream?” Blue’s voice cut through his thoughts.
Dream blinked at Blue, and Blue stared back at him, seeming mildly worried.
“My apologies, could you try hitting my arrow? I’ll spot you again.” Dream requested, and Blue just nodded and prepared himself again.
This time, Blue automatically placed his elbow up and turned himself to the right. Dream didn’t even need to do more than a little nudge to his arm to encourage a slight but more movement to the right. Blue should strike this perfectly.
The arrow flew, beautifully with a bit of a spin, and… Lodged a few inches to the left of the target. He was aiming right! How-
Ohhhhhh.
“That was great, Blue! You had everything but an extra set of eyes to direct you, good work!” Dream praised.
Now Blue celebrated properly, wrapping his arms around Dream’s sides in a heavy hug. A familiar one that Dream returned, as he realized how silly he had been for a moment. His arrows weren’t affected by the wind. Blue’s weren’t magic, so of course the air would throw them off course! For a brief, horrifying, moment he worried he’d somehow stumbled in his directions. It was just the wind.
Blue's hug was tight and affectionate, and very very welcome. Dream savored it, returning it tightly, until Blue released him and raised the bow once more. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to train until the caravan arrived in a few hours.
- -
Poor choices. He didn’t make many, but he wasn’t going to try and claim that training right up until the arrival was a good call. All he was expected to do was welcome them back, and then listen toIchor recount any important information they’d picked up on, but still. He didn’t enjoy being all grimy and sweaty and middy was the best look or the most comfortable. His only solace was that Blue was equally messay, so he didn’t feel too out of place.
Ask they approached the path into camp, they saw that the light of a lantern was glowing just a bit down the way, and there alone the road stood the sentinels for the night, and Eclipse.
Eclipse still wore that same tunic as before, though it had gained a grass stain along the bottom hem, no doubt from Copper breaking off at a full sprint at some point during the day. The skeleton himself was without his children, and when Blue greeted him and asked, it turned out he’d left them with someone named Jodie. One of the humans, he believed, a kind elderly woman here with her adult son. Eclipse looked exhausted, but Dream could tell is must’ve been from building worry. Nim help him and make sure that Ichor returns on that cart in one piece.
They stood there together in the quiet, and when the carriage pulled to a stop before them, Dream counted as each person hopped off and stood at attention before himself and Blue. One, two, three, for, five, six, seven… Eight. Ichor must’ve been looking to give his partner a soul-attack, because he was the last of the party to jump off the back of the cart, a thick bag slung over his back and his grin wide and stupid as ever.
Dream acted like he didn’t notice as Eclipse bowled into Ichor’s side, nearly tripping the both of them over and into the grass. Technically, procedure was that Dream would be the first to hear any of them speak, as they could’ve been keeping secrets. However, he knew better than to get between lover birds. That was more of a headache than it was worth.
Only when the two were done and Eclipse gave Ichor a swift peck on the forehead did Dream usher everyone into the debriefing tent to discuss their findings.
“You’re saying he’s bringing in new knights?” Dream questioned.
Everyone had been explaining their stories, but it seemed that Ichor had managed to get the closest. Hear the most. A servant had tripped over him and spilled a red wine on his suit, so he followed them back to the servants halls to get it cleaned up. Because he was so amicable, the maids weren’t very quiet and told him exciting news. Two more knights being trained.
Ichor had asked more, as much as he dared, but all he could get was that one of them was straight out of the dungeon, and the other one was burly and definitely a foreigner. Some sort of hired body, they swore. It’d be fall when the next party was rumored to be happening.
Dream hated to hear such a thing. The first criminal was enough, but this second one? And then another? Dream couldn’t fathom what sorts of horrible plans were being fed into his twin’s mind, what horrid plans they were going to enact, criminals and thugs running the country by his brother’s side?
He sighed a bit, resting a hand against his chin.
“Did you see my twin at all?” He asked then, to the group.
Ichor was the only one to nod, and Dream gestured to him.
“The guy was just as guarded as ya said. The Tiger kept circling back up to the balcony where he was hanging, but the stairs were all blocked off by guards, and some other folks were sitting up there with him. Magic on one of ‘em was strong.” Ichor explained, and Dream squinted as the torchlight glinted off of the skeleton’s single gold tooth. Now his pelt had been returned to him, and he looked perfectly barbaric, like the first day Dream had seen him.
“Mm, unfortunate. My brother is smart, he wouldn’t spare any detail in his protection, I suppose.” Dream muttered, before simply nodding. “Thank you, all. I’m sure you’ve had a tiring past few nights. Go to your tents and rest up, I’ll call upon you if I need to speak with you again sometime later in the week.”
He didn’t really want to dismiss them, but it was obvious half of them had gotten drunk off their asses within the first five minutes of being at the party. Ichor was really the only one with any good information, and even then, it was extremely limited. Of course, Dream had to be grateful that Nightmare must’ve been slipping with controlling the tittering tongues of his servants, it saved him the trouble of having to wait any longer for information.
Nightmare adding new, dangerous, knights was not ideal,
He watched as the party slowly filtered out, some stumbling, some half-awake, and even Ichor yawning as he ducked out of the tent. The only one who didn’t immediately flee was Blue, who sat for a few minutes longer before popping to his feet, gathering the notes strewn across the table, and helping Dream to his feet.
Together, they left the tent and moved back to the cottage. By now it was far into the night, and Dream could see the stars out. The moon, a thin crescent, seemed to mock him as he took careful steps in the darkness of the path. At least he’d gotten to enjoy the remaining sun the day had gifted him.
When they entered the cottage, Dream groaned and moved immediately for the couch. He could try to sleep, but he knew Blue still had to do his nightly routine, and he wouldn't be able to rest with the new information that had been provided.
“We’ll figure it out.” Blue said unprompted from across the main room.
His friend was organizing the papers from tonight into a nice little box where they kept all the notes for their plans, and when he placed it back on the shelf, he moved over to the dummy in the corner of the room where he always hung his armor. Every night.
“I know we will, it’s just…” Ough, he couldn’t say it! This was so infuriating! Every scout who managed to come back only brought him worse and worse news.
“Do you know, or are you just saying that? Because I know that I know we can figure this out! Two monsters can’t make the difference in a coup!” Blue stated matter-of-factly as he undid the buckles on his chest plate and lifted it up onto its rightful spot. Next followed the boots and Dream watched him. The prince was practically deflated on the cushions of the old couch, a pillow quickly tugged into this arms.
He was right. Dream knew it, he usually was after all. Still. It wasn’t the fighting that worried him. No, he and Blue alone could probably beat up whatever petty criminals were cabhorting with his twin. It was just���
“I do. I just- I- I don’t know how my twin could be so stupid!” He exclaimed, practically burying his skull into the pillow, bringing his knees up to his chest, practically curling into a ball. “He was meant to be my advisor, he was the clever one. How could he resort to killers and hired mercenaries. After all those classes he used to tell me about, all the lessons he had to go to, how could he decide to take this path?” He said, hoping his voice was muffled by the cushion.
Unfortunately, like most items in this cottage, it seemed to be cheap and only decorative. No muffling capabilities in sight. He heard Blue sigh, and for a few minutes, the only noise was Blue removing the rest of his armor.
When it faded, he strained to listen, and caught the floorboards creaking ever so gently under the weight of his friend’s approach. Then there was a pause, and then a weight on Dream’s skull. It trailed heavily down his neck and to his shoulders, before repeating itself. A soothing motion, one that Dream resisted for a moment.
“I never got to meet him, but I do know you! I think we can definitely knock some sense back into him.” Blue reassured him, and this time Dream listened.
Blue was right, after all. Blue had been able to knock sense into Dream. If anyone could bring Nightmare back to his senses, it would be Blue.
He let the skeleton keep doing that comforting motion against his skull for a few more minutes, savoring the contact, before he sighed heavily and shrugged. Blue retracted his hand, and was watching Dream with a soft smile when the prince finally lifted his head. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, before Dream smiled back.
They both really needed to get some rest.
#new age au#dude inclusion of old docs into the new story??? crazyyyy#Eclipse and Ichor are long-standing ocs and in most aus Eclipse Copper Steel and their other kid Rose Gold are all dead sooo. happy time fo#them here!! Ichor is a goofball but actually the more responsible one. Eclipse would scale a tower for fun if he had the chance.#Here they actually get to be a happy couple. And tbh I don't think Dream would know either of their names if it wasn't for Copper#he has a soft-spot for kids even if he's awful with them half the time-#OH! And Dream! He's still in his jaded era#but he's getting better! I feel like I need to stress that Dream is full of love and whimsy and care but. he doesn't know how#to express any of it through normal means. he needs to relearn how to express his care. Blue is helping him! This is not a#smoker downer hurt by the world Dream! He's just been gaslight and girl bossed all his life lmao#I hope his oblivious gay tones are shining through too btw. old habits die hard and he is NOT subtle#the scene with the arrow training? Everyone else can see them being cute and flirting but they're so so oblivious#everyone is betting on whether or not they kiss. they never do. Everyone knows except for them#And!! last thing I think? just like Dream Blue has a persona he puts on when he's out and about. It's not as drastic as Dream's because he#has fewer worries and stressors but he plays up his knight role visually when around others while when they're alone it turns into#the devotion and quiet chivalry that you see at the end. He also risks talking back to Dream more obviously in private. because Dream doesn#mind at all and they're as close to friends as Dream's ever had and closer friends than Blue had ever had#Okay I'm done now. Gonna go sketch Fresh now so that I can answer an ask lingering in my ask box that I love but didn't have time to get to
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Hi. My partner is diagnosed with BPD and I was just wondering if there’s something I need to know about properly communicating with him, we talked about how he could easily feel like I don’t actually love him and hate him instead. I know everyones’ experiences are different, but I just wanted to know stuff from actual people and not the fancy ahh psychology articles who can’t explain anything. Sorry if that’s offensive in any way :[
I'm not super qualified to answer this because I personally have not been super educated on bpd specifically (our doctors are neglectful, etc) but this post is a pretty good place to start. the language and tone you use is very important, (but I can't explain it well just go read the post)
I DO want to add, because no one ever adds this, that the responsibility to improve communication is not solely on YOU as their partner. people with personality disorders are still responsible for their actions, and although our symptoms are very difficult to cope with at times, we don't just get to say: "well these are my symptoms and you need to learn to handle me." we still have to work to improve ourselves and treat people right
if you are doing everything right, and trying your absolute best to improve the situation, but your partner is putting in zero effort to manage and acknowledge their symptoms, it is no longer your responsibility to accommodate that, and that person is abusive. there is no diagnosis that gives you leave to not put effort into your relationships and let your symptoms take all the blame
(that was kinda unrelated but I think it doesn't get talked about nearly enough specifically with bpd that sometimes people just are not actually trying to manage themselves and it is not your responsibility to fix a person or to make up for work that they simply aren't willing to put in. never let someone use their diagnosis as a free pass to abuse you, and this applies to everything.)
#🫀.inbox#🎙️.will#this is of course in no way directed at you or your partner anon#I can't possibly know your situation of course#I just know that this never gets explained and a lot of people go through relationships with pwbpd assuming that they are solely responsible#for picking up the slack just because the other person has the disorder#YOU ARE BOTH RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP#anyway#I hope that post I linked helps#it's a pretty good one and explains the method in a very easily understood way#nice little comic format#shout-out to op for that of course#I'm Will and this has been my cluster b rant of the day
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The weight of the world is a heavy burden
Especially for a child
(Or, in slightly less dramatic terms – I imagine that the first of her past lives that Avatar Suiren [who is the Avatar after Aang instead of Korra in my AU, and also Ghazan and Ming-Hua’s daughter] gets to talk to is Yangchen, because she is too plagued by memories not her own [including Jetsun’s death, fun fact]. And Yangchen wouldn’t want another child to go through what she did on their own)
(Or maybe someone just needed an excuse to draw @katkastrofa’s latest obsession in a context that interests them as well, just in time to maybe cheer her up a little? You can’t prove anything)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#Avatar Suiren AU#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#yangchen#original character#sotrl suiren#if you’re wondering what the context is. Suiren is around 8 or 9 here. already having revealed herself as the Avatar to her parents#and it has been Hard. because as much as they try to maintain a sense of normalcy for her. it’s clear that things have changed#they never accounted for their daughter turning out to be the Avatar. they hoped Aang dying on the night she was born to be a coincidence#all of their plans now have to be rethought and put on hold because her safety is more important than anything else#she is never blamed for anything. she is still just as loved. yet there’s now a heaviness in their gazes whenever they look at her#the Avatar as a concept should not exist. it is too much power and responsibility for one being who is ultimately human#that’s what Suiren was taught. so what do those teachings mean if she’s the Avatar?#basically.. a whole lot of cognitive dissonance and she hasn’t even been alive for a decade yet#and all her life her head was filled by strange memories and dreams. fragments of lives not her own. sometimes nightmares#and usually her mama would comfort her through it but tonight… she just wants to be alone#so she wanders off. not too far. but enough that she wouldn’t be heard. and just softly cries#because it’s too much. because she doesn’t want to be the Avatar. why her? why not anyone else?#and as she whispers that she wishes she wasn’t the Avatar. her mind is assaulted by memories of previous Avatars saying the same thing#it really is a never ending cycle of too much burden being placed on a single person. but that realisation is anything but comforting#she begs for it to stop because that grief of life over life spent pushing a boulder uphill is just Too Much#and before she knows it. it ceases. only to be replaced by a blue glow visible even through closed eyelids#and a feather light touch of hands on her face. it doesn’t feel exactly like human hands by virtue of belonging to a spirit#that helps her relax a little. reminding her of mama’s touch. she looks at the person who appeared before her. her mind supplies the name#‘Avatar Yangchen?’. she whispers. but the woman is nowhere near as stoic and peaceful as she’s shown to be in every depiction of her#she looks.. sad. concerned. as burdened by grief as Suiren herself is. she’s not just a legendary figure from a time long gone#not yet another past life Suiren would never measure up to. she’s… human. capable of human emotion. just like Suiren is#I’m not sure how their conversation goes and have no inspiration to come up with anything. but I just wanted to draw them interacting
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if i had the energy and time to write my orv enchanted au itd be all over. id have fulfilled my lifes goal. thered be nothing left to strive for. which is of course why i cant write it and definitely not because im bad at writing for long projects.
#.text#imagine. office worker kim dokja. he babysits his neighbors daughter most days - shin yoosung's parents are never home#and shes too young to leave alone faithfully even if shes as sweet and responsible as can be. he spends his time reading and rereading#an old webnovel that eventually led him to befriend the author. and despite being rich han sooyoung still eats all of his snacks.#then of course theres yoo joonghyuk. fantasy prince from another world whos to marry lee seolhwa.#the day of his wedding he falls down a well and dies.#and then he gets isekai'd into the real world.#ive never been able to think of an antagonist for them every time i think about this au i Only think about the slow dance scene at#the end of the movie. thats so them. am i crazy.#the other thing i like to think about is shin yoosung and lee gilyoung teaming up to try and push yjh down Another well#in the hopes that he goes back to his shitty novel & stops bothering their not-dad-just-a-babysitter. they never succeed with this#OR i like to imagine my lee seolhwa/lee sookyung agenda#kim dokja vc the love interest of the webnovel i like came to life and is now courting my mom. help?#OR OR the poison apple scene. i think he'd be given the choice to send yoo joonghyuk & co home if he ate the apple & died#and because he believes thats what yoo joonghyuk would really want & doesnt value his own life he would do it.#once again incarnation kim dokja has been killed by the person he loves most. it always happens.#anyway this au will never be real just know its in my mind always.
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I remember talking to a friend last week and saying that if I'm reading obsessively it either means I'm extremely happy or extremely in need of help. alas goodreads my good pal you have GOT to be kidding me
#i have hit 60 books this year. we are three days into april. i have not been at the pinnacle of happiness this year so it is not that lol#ah well we hit rock bottom we bounce back up! i am trying to claw my way to the surface again!#granted this has been a series of not great distracting tactics to get my mind off the Horrors (i.e. through the mass consumption of#stories in book and film form) but at least i'm recognising and acknowledging it now#i need to actually deal with the Horrors so that there's a chance they'll actually go away!#but i am glad that i HAVE been surrounded by good stories. it has helped. it has been a method of conflict avoidance#in all areas of my life but it HAS helped to have those stories of hope hammered into my head and heart#anyway it looks like i HAVE lost a friend or am very close to losing one because it has been 1.5 weeks and there has been zero response#and there's a ton of Decisions i have to sort through this week#along with other mental health assessments my GP wants me to do#but God is good and He has been very patient with all the bouts of despair and loneliness and frustration etc etc#i just need to keep holding on and keep clawing my way upwards#despite all my failures as a friend and student and probably as a daughter as well this year there has been a lot of grace#and i am trying not to dwell on the past#slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21
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(guy who’s literally nocturnal): i didn’t realize i was doing that badly
#my friend came over and did my dishes today#and they told me that this is the worst they’ve ever seen my executive dysfunction#and like. they saw me through college so they’ve seen some shit#but perhaps my inability to get out of bed for like th entirety of the time since I’ve moved isn’t just me being weak and lazy#maybe it’s the logical response to me being off my adhd meds and not having blood going to my brain when I sleep since my retainers stopped#working. maybe I’ll be fine soon#and either way. the fact that i have a friend here to see me and help me figure shit out is just#like fucking me up. i am soooo isolationist and like. I truly can’t even think about the fact they came over and did my dishes cause i know#it’s gonna hit me and im gonna start sobbing#like they came over and i lied down on the floor and they kept being like ‘how can i help’ and i kept saying ‘you don’t need to I’ll do it’#but kept laying on the floor#and so they just started doing my dishes#and like god. I can’t handle that. this person has consistently been one#one of the kindest people in my life and they never just tell me to snap out of it?#and like they’re always there for me specifically during tech week and it’s like no this is my own fault I chose this#anyway I feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me and I want to tear myself up until I find the culprit and stamp it out#but im just trying to lie in bed and focus on the fact that somehow im loved even though i don’t deserve it#anyway I really hope my period is coming because if im just being this insane for fun that’s fucked up
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i know everyone's told me to rest because i'm sick but i just can't. it doesn't feel right. i need to do everything i can rn because i'm scared that any second we'll be told to get out NOW
#there's a lot of legal shit going on so i'm really unsure when exactly we'll have to leave#my mom keeps telling me to pack an overnight bag just in case and i know she's right but there's other things i need to do first#plus i'm not leaving my computer here. i'm just not. i can't. it's my most important possession. it keeps me sane if you can call it that#i need to get everything else ready before finishing getting my ''i need these with me at all times'' stuff ready#because so much shit is in the way like i still need to take out trash and do more laundry#and get more things that have already been in boxes forever out of here. also the closet door is stuck so that's a problem#i don't even care about most of the shit in my closet like i know there's stuff from my childhood in there but i don't remember what#other than that it's junk. and decorations i bought for an eventual apartment but when the fuck is that even gonna happen#i know i'm sitting here doing nothing rn as i'm typing this but i'm like mentally stuck on what to do next without my mom's help#and she's not here rn. plus there's some dude that her shitty ex is letting stay downstairs rn ? for some reason ?#and i just don't feel comfortable leaving the room to get food or take out trash or change out the laundry. it's just weird#plus i'm sick and he has a weak immune system and like. i dunno i don't wanna be responsible for that#anyway sorry i'm rambling. i know it's understandable at a time like this but i just feel bad that this is all i'm talking about rn#i'm just so fucking depressed and stressed and tired and i've barely eaten anything for the past few days#i can't even have fun or talk to any friends like i normally do. my brain won't let me and it just doesn't feel right. i can't be happy rn#for even a second. it's just not the right time. there's nothing to be happy about. i have no hope at this point that things will work out
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hmmmm I drafted an email to my boss abt how her text regarding my time off request after my mother's death made me feel very uncomfortable and how I felt like it was unprofessional should I send it
#obviously I did not go to sleep after that reblog kshdmudksb#anyway I want to but also like I work closely w her every day and I don't want to eternally feel uncomfortable because I confronted her#but at the same time like her text made me feel bad enough that it completely altered how I feel about my job#like I was going to come back next year and for summer camp but how she handled the whole thing just made me feel Bad#and like if in the future something else happens where I need extended time off she will be equally as not understanding#idk it just put a rlly bad taste in my mouth that she tried to make my co workers work life my responsibility during my time off#I feel like thats something she needs to be confronted about#but like. what outcome will that have other than making it uncomfortable to be around her for the foreseeable future#idk and also like. everyone else in my life including co workers has been so understanding and kind and compassionate#but even her My Condolences tm text was kind of cold and rude#and its like. okay maybe I'll calm down about this once I'm not In The Throws Of Grief but at the same time#I am in a very emotionally vulnerable place and someone intentionally took advantage of that to make me feel bad#thats kind of a big deal?#idk its just weird. she'd been so understanding until I actually needed something from her#I'd also sort of been getting the impression that she was growing tired of the whole broken foot thing#but I was hoping that that was just me projecting cuz I feel bad about not being helpful#now I am nawt so sure...#anyway this really sucks I really loved my work environment and then it was ruined with one (1) text#ghost posts#text
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okay i’m gonna go to sleep cause it’s late iiiiii hope i don’t wake up to nuclear bombs dropped on us
#tag ramble to try and unpack my feelings don’t take this too srs i’m just saying words:#i’m so so incredibly sad and disappointed#i never went into much detail on my feelings on the drama before this but my stance was that from q’s perspective he has a right to#be pissed (at least initially) and i don’t think he Had to say anything supportive of u.smp itself although it would’ve been nice#but once his fanbase started getting out of control (and now knowing to the extent it got) man that’s on you that’s your responsibility#ESPECIALLY if they had just previously been friends behind the scenes and dream was still under the impression that they were#i can’t fathom leaving a friend to the wolves like that#and when dream talked about things like trying desperately to reach out and getting nothing + the confusion of being friends one day and#ignored the next#and when he did things like alternating between cracking jokes about the ‘feud’ and being kinda shady— that all hit home for me personally#and if being in a similar situation hurt Me i can’t even imagine what he was feeling with his and his family’s safety in danger#and through it all he’s still being more gracious than i think i could be. i’m so so sad for him he’s always treated with such vitriol#and people don’t even think about it because it’s okay because it’s dream#and more than anything i guess i’m thinking about how it didn’t have to be this way#from dream’s perspective at least it seems like he was doing everything in his power to smooth it over and help both of them#(and he still is by changing his concept. which he shouldn’t have to do)#and one party wasn’t willing to cooperate. and i can’t wrap my head around that#if it was just dream not getting a response i could say Oh well maybe it was just a mistake maybe another horrible coincidence#but if what he says is true nobody was getting any feedback except to say they couldn’t be on both servers#and like i said i always want to hear both sides and i really hope q is willing to give his (to dream personally if nothing else)#but as someone who cares a lot for both of them and thinks they’re both great creators it just breaks my heart a bit#i’m trying to avoid being negative from the jump but i can’t pretend i haven’t lost respect for q over this#anyway. christ i wrote war and peace over here goodnignt i hope it all looks better in the morning#much love to you all#bella talks
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The feminine urge to run away and never look back.
#i'm just in dire need of a break#i thought things would be different after the surgery#and they most certainly are just not better#i hoped to move out this year and that is not going to happen#i'm not able to save enough to cover the theoretical rent and bills i would be spending anyhoo 🥲#so much responsibility has been put on me and my parents are refusing to help themselves l#i hate how responsible i feel of them#we're all adults right?#or so i thought#anyhoo don't mind me 😅#just needed to vent a little
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Update they both hate me because I told the child one of them was harassing the acc he could block to try and stop it
#I knew they’d find out tbh and idc their reaction is all I need to know#the one that was harassing a minor is the same one someone said was a piece of shit when the psychiatrist stuff was happening#her bf stood by and watched her harass his friend like they’re both vague tweeting that oh well she didn’t know his age man idc the age just#made me more angry the fact that you did it in the first place is fucked up it always has been and y’all both know I think that#if y’all tweeted about not liking someone on priv and that was it I wouldn’t care#but it’s the constant pqrting because you know it’ll upset that person and give anxiety etc that makes it harassment and makes me mad#and now they’re both tweeting things like oh well you shouldn’t be following him at your big age how dare you disrespect us#an adult just knowing a minor is not a bad thing like holy shit get off the Internet please#plus I couldn’t message without following so I followed in hopes to be mutuals so I could warn him but I shouldn’t have to have an excuse#following isn’t some intimate thing y’all just wanna hate me more#she also tweeted about how I lied (I didn’t) and that she’d expose me#like for what? being a bad friend like two years ago? when we talked it out I fully agreed that yeah I shouldn’t have talked about those#topics etc bro I literally said there was no excuse and I’m sorry it all happened but it’s pretty obvious I have grown and changed to be#better you can’t expose me when I have receipts of me taking responsibility and doing what I could to show I was wrong#and I’m sorry how is trying to protect a minor who you are harassing the thing that drives you away for good#did I disrespect a toxic relationship oh no how dare I y’all need to get help friends of your partner shouldn’t be harassed just because bpd#jealousy like I have bpd too I really hate some of my bf’s friends and wish he wouldn’t talk to them but what do I do about it? nothing#i distract myself maybe but I know if I do what I want yknow like telling my bf to stop being friends with someone I know I’d be in the wron#and I know he should break up with me etc etc like that doesn’t mean I don’t have these thoughts which sure aren’t healthy but at least I’m#not fucking acting on them like at least give yourself a safe outlet idc when you just tweet about it on priv most of the time but this pqrt#shit has to stop if you wanna stay my friend I’m obviously at my limit with how y’all are both so content with how toxic y’all’s relationshi#is and won’t do anything about it to the point minors are being harassed but oh it’s okay I didn’t know and I stopped when I knew#how can you watch your bf harass a friend of yours just because y’all ARE FRIENDS god it’s so infuriating#she never apologized for the psychiatrist stuff btw lmao#I know they both want a reaction out of me so I’ll act first and apologize or something but I just don’t care anymore#I’m done man like that Drake and Josh episode but fuck Drake bell btw#kinda hope next time I open twt I’m blocked since they want a reaction so bad#like nah I’m tweeting like nothing happened because y’all really showed your priorities and morals#maybe y’all should do what your bpd tweets have been saying and just have eachother y’all don’t need anyone else
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#really trying to determine if this is a self destructing urge or something else#(self destructing in either a Things Have Been Too Normal trauma response OR I've made too much progress and still feel like shit way)#(which sound similar but are different I think)#or am I just trying to live my life without overthinking every little thing#and the urge is like Yeah. Fuck it.#/m#ignore me#was hoping writing it out would help because Analysis Paralysis has been locking me up all day.#really wish I could just take things at face value#but people are Liars!
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small team at work means even when one person is gone it kind of cascades into chaos very quickly and I'm unfortunately probably the most functional + flexible one here
#tales from the clinic#manager having physical stress response because Reasons#assistant manager helping family w appointments on his days off and can't be as flexible#tech has been out all week bc health#the doctor was like 'you better make [boss] get coverage on tues or you might be miserable'#not.. my responsibility to convince the boss of what she already knows#I hope if I do tech tues she handles sales because I CANNOT run the floor at the same time and we are almost fully booked that day!!
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