#I hope it's decent for my non existant writing skill

[thefourdiamonds-fantrolls]

<> Beginning of the end. <>

Chapter 1, The last peaceful heartbeat.

In the furthest reaches of the Incipisphere, a planet simmered with a tension so palpable it seemed to warp the very fabric of reality. A species ruled by the brutal hierarchy of blood color, where one's place in society was dictated by the hue coursing through their veins. From the violet-blooded seadwellers who lorded over all to the rustbloods who struggled for survival, the planet's rigid caste system had bred millenia of resentment and unrest. The signs of rebellion were everywhere, scrawled in the defiant graffiti that marred the walls of the capital, whispered in the shadows of the bustling slums, and encoded in the secret missives passed between lowblood leaders. The highbloods, entrenched in their opulent palaces, seeming arrogantly oblivious to the storm brewing beneath their feet. In the heart of the lowblood quarter, a clandestine meeting took place. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and the sharp tang of desperation. Huddled in a dimly lit basement, a diverse group of trolls— from rusts to olives, and even a few daring jadebloods—gathered around a makeshift table. Many voices spoke out on the matter, not able to wait any longer. The decision was final. Tonight's the night that will decide whether they will succeed and take control of this colony planet or die trying. Every single troll attending the rebellion meetings were assigned their tasks and positions they had to take in order to guarantee the best results possible.  Ambushes were set up, now awaiting for a perfect opportunity to strike the incoming transport of mutants. After what seemed like an eternity of tension they could hear the drones footsteps. The nearly mindless robots guarding a truck full of trolls set off the landmines set up by the rebellion. Just like that the great machine was blown into bits. As the explosion echoed in the dead silence of the moment, a chain reaction was set off. The attack has begun. All of the rebellions started their offense the moment they heard the signal go off. Setting fires to mansions, breaking into hives and even attacking schools. There would be no such thing as mercy for the highbloods. For the first time in history the balance has been thrown off. The hunter had become the hunted.

[yellowocaballero]

Styles of Storytelling Structure

OK love of God I'm so embarrassed that every post I make gets insane long. I tried to match this explanation up with the previous ask but it got so long, so this elaboration gets its own post. For reference, these tags are referencing this post. Read that one first if you want.

I hope I can find a way to explain this succinctly and non-judgmentally. I do mean it extremely nonjudgmentally. I write both kinds and they both have their own merits.

For me, there's two kinds of fanfic writing. I call 'em Fic Style and Novel Style. This isn't about tropes or content, but about how the author composes the story.

Novel style is the 'traditional' way of writing a story. It has a three act structure, rising action/climax/falling action, tight pacing, every scene does five plot/character/theme related things. It reads like a published short story or a book.

Fic style is often reliant on the source material to make complete sense, and its plot or characterization is usually scaffolded onto the main material. For many of these stories you use the pre-existing canon structure. The story isn't as structured or tightly written, scenes are more likely to be there for vibes, and there tends to be more worldbuilding and a slower pace in general. It's worth noting that fic style can often really resemble soap opera, comic books, long-running manga, Dr Who, etc. Anything serialized, meant to continue on for a long time with no definite end point.

(If you're a frequent flier, to give you some idea: New Wave and Good Luck Jake were novel style, Hope Etc and Listen 2 Ur Heart were fic style. Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge was novel/short story style, reel to reel was fic style.)

Neither is better or worse than the other. They can be both equally enjoyable. One of my favorite fics is 'a simple thing' by iridan and it's fic style. Case fics are more likely to be novel style [I suck at case fics]. Shortly, fic style is easier to write, more likely to be enjoyable, and harder to make very good. Novel style is really hard to write. Super hard.

This is because novel-style writing just requires more skills. You need to lock down story structure, plotting, tension, connecting physical/emotional/plot/theme, pairing story beats with character beats, and dealing with a lot of different plot threads at once. I think of it as braiding, kind of: weaving three character arcs, a plot arc, growth of character relationships, and development of the themes and messaging. A scene should ideally do all of these things at once. Everything needs to be perfectly matched together so it all moves as one. The longer the story is, the more content of all of this you have to deal with, and the more difficult it is to do well. You're just juggling more balls. I had to write one bad 100k story and another mediocre 100k story before I got to a kinda-good 100k story. Forget about how long it took me to get to a decent freaking 60k story. I wrote really enjoyable 60k fic style stories before an actually good 60k novel style story.

This is why skills have to scaffold. I think a lot of beginner writers are constantly trying to fight those level 60 boss fights at level 20 and they get frustrated when they lose. You have to figure out how to write decent dialogue and decent prose before putting together a good scene. Then you have to figure out how to string a series of scenes together in a way that makes sense. Then you have to figure out how to put those scenes in the right order to make some kind of coherent and interesting story with conflict and character arcs. Then you start tossing one ball in the air and figure out how to write those 20k short stories. Then you add more and more balls as your stories get longer and more complex. You have to develop a lot of different skills individually to put together a well-structured final product that's fun to read.

Stop getting so frustrated when you can't beat out a 60k story that's Barnes & Nobles worthy when you're a beginning writer! Stop dreaming big! I know how frustrating it is not being able to put what's in your head down on paper. It's not going to be perfect. Of course you're having issues writing longer things, you're still figuring out how to put longer things together.

Pick something to work on. Figure out what skills you still need to develop. Figure out how stories work and what makes a good story, and then try and build it yourself. You do not need to write a traditional novel style story to develop your skills in dialogue, prose, characterization, tone, tension, POV, etc. You can get that stuff down first. If you're interested in working on story structure and pacing you'll have to practice doing things traditionally. No, you're not going to be happy with it. Be proud of yourself that you improved and developed a skill. Be proud of yourself that you're writing. Writing is hard. It's fun, but hard. If you aren't having fun then you're just left with the hard.

Writing isn't about the finished product. It's not about if you wrote something that people enjoyed or said was good. It's about enjoying writing. Everything else happens naturally from there.

[kjs-s]

Put on an act

Pairing: Foggy Nelson x reader

Summary Foggy panickly introduced you as his partner to his ex.

Prompts :“Can’t believe I let you drag me into this” and “Act like we’re dating, I see my ex”

Word Count: 1300

Warnings:  none I can think of

A/N: This is my entry for @locke-writes 2k celebration. Congats again Noah and I hope you will like this

''We need to pick something meaningful. Which ones do you think will say 'thanks for sticking around' and ' we appreciate you'?'' Foggy asked you looking around the flower shop a little lost. Karen's ten-year anniversary working for Matt and Foggy was coming up.  The little celebration was your idea after Karen narrated how she came to work with them when you were first hired as a paralegal. You couldn't believe how fortunate you were to be employed by such terrific people.

''I know that, pick pansies, sunflowers, and yellow roses. We actually had a botany and flower meaning class in my university.'' Your tone was so sincere that you could fool anyone that didn't know how fond of sarcasm you were.

''Really?'' Foggy sounded enthusiastic hoping he wouldn't have to stay any longer in the shop and he could just return to the office and the case he was working on.

''Of course not. I have no clue, my botanic skills and non-existent. Let me look it up.'' You searched for the right choices while Foggy was trying hopelessly to locate someone to help you.

After about ten minutes you looked up from your phone.

''Ok, I think I have a decent bouquet picked out. We just need to find those four flowers and ask one of the florists if they go well together.'' You tried to show Foggy your phone but he panicky turned toward you and asked you to follow him out of the way.

''I'm sure those are great but right now I need a favor. Please act like we’re dating, I see my ex over there.'' He nodded towards the entrance where a couple was browsing the potted plants.

''The blonde one, with the cute red coat? She looks like a nice girl.''

''She is but we broke up because she was offered a job in Chicago and I wanted to stay here. And you know me, I couldn't deal with having a long distant relationship. So, please pretend to be my partner if she notices us.''

You didn't get the chance to respond before Marci was right behind you without her company excited to see Foggy again.

''Hi, I almost didn't see you there. How have you been?'' Marci greeted her ex and you couldn't help but admire her confidence. She had a way of talking and could make everyone around her stop to listen to her.

''I'm great. Still working with Matt and the business is doing fantastic. Oh, and that's my partner (Y/N) who also works with us.'' You shook her hand.

''So you are Marci. I knew Foggy's ex was a brilliant lawyer that helped him on cases and I am glad to finally meet you.''

''It's great to meet you too. I am happy that he found such a sweet person as you.'' Then the man who was with her earlier approached you.

''That's my husband Trevor. We got married five months ago and we just moved back to New York. Honey, these are Foggy and (Y/N).'' Trevor knew who Foggy was surprising you about how civil this random meeting was being. You could never imagine being that cordial with any of your exes due to the fact that you broke up because they were either immature or totally arrogant.

Marcia and Trevor had already placed their order and began to leave but not before they invited the two of you to dinner at their new house the next day. An invitation that Foggy accepted without a second thought.

''Are you out of your mind? Couldn't you lie and say we are busy or that Matt needs you for a case?'' You tried so hard to not raise your voice at him.

''I'm sorry, I didn't think this through. I can make something up to try to avoid this. Sorry, I honestly didn’t think it would bother you that much.''

''It's not bothering me. I just believe I would feel bad lying to them during the entire evening. They both seem so friendly. But it will be fine. I don't mind pretending to be your date or your partner. Now let us go see about those flowers. I picked daises that symbolize loyal love, arborvitae for unchanging friendship, and lastly for affection zinnia, and morning glory. I believe Karen deserves the best bouquet for her party.'' Foggy agreed with you and ordered the bouquet to be made and delivered to the office in the afternoon.

Later that day during your little celebration you informed Matt and Karen about your encounter earlier. They found it hilarious that you pretended to date and hoped you at least have a good time during dinner the next day.

You decided to get together before dinner to come up with a story about your relationship just in case they ask.

''We don't have to come up with a complicated story. I have been working for you for a while now and I liked you from the moment I met you. We will just say that after a while we decided to act on those feelings and hopefully, we will be together for a long time since we already see each other all the time. Simple enough?''

''Yes, I like it. I will say that I asked you out before the holidays so if you rejected me at least the office would be closed and I would only be humiliated and heartbroken at home.''

''I would never humiliate you. But, sure let's say that. I just can’t believe I let you drag me into this'' You playfully complained to him before making your way to Marci's home.

She and her husband were delighted to see the two of you, especially Foggy since he hadn't met any of Marci's other friends from when she used to live in New York.

As you predicted, you were asked about how long you are together and how your relationship started.

''I liked (Υ/Ν) since the first day we met. Matt was the one who decided on adding a new employee to our team and we were blessed with this angel. The first thing I noticed from our interview together was the approach to Matt's crazy questions. I hadn't seen anyone else answer him with such intelligence and creativity. And on top of that, we got lucky to find someone with a charming personality. I found the courage to ask (Y/N) out after working together on an extremely tough case. I can't hide that I was a little surprised that such a wonderful person agreed to date me.'' You mentioned that you were the lucky one. And indeed you always felt delighted to have met him. In addition, you hoped there was some truth to his words.

After dinner, he drove you home thanking you for everything and making small talk about work. However, you couldn't get his words out of your mind.

''Did you rehearse your little speech about how we started dating beforehand? Because it was really sweet.'' You asked him while still in his car.

''I didn't, I just honestly find you amazing.'' He couldn't bring himself to look at you right this moment.

''I find you amazing too. And I hope I could do this in a more romantic way but would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? Just the two of us this time.''

''You mean it? Because I would love to.''

''Of course, I mean it. I will text you the details tomorrow morning after I make a reservation.'' You smiled at him and after giving him a peck on the cheek you left the car. The moment you entered your home you took notes of all the things you had to do the next day in preparation for your first real date.

[yeowninefive]

My 2022 Art Retrospective

It’s been, uh, quite a year. I’m honestly not sure where to start; because I feel like as much as I want to focus on the more critical elements of my year, they’re largely surrounded by a lot of good things.

I’ll try to start off by focusing on my art goals I outlined for this year back in 2021: drawing more fanart, returning to animation, drawing more complex environments/backgrounds, adapting more of the stories/scripts I had tried my hand at writing so far into a comic/illustration format, and doing direct collaborations / art trades.

Fanart: Mixed bag, but leaning towards positive. Just a little bit more fanart compared to last year; but including gift art, it;s. I also feel that when the year first started, I was on pace on delivering a decent rate of fan art (at least one for each month), but I do think as I focused on two OC-related projects (Pandy and the Commodities/Playbill Commodities; Deuwood in Another World), that fell by the wayside. So going into 2023, ratcheting up the fanart is the one goal I’d like to achieve for next year. I feel this would be especially important, because at least on deviantArt, two of the fanarts I made this year (The Great Pet Race on Sesame Street and Save the Last Dance) ended up as among my most viewed and most favorite artwork on that site.

Animation: Small baby steps taken forward. I posted at least three distinct animations (three separate ones, four total—one completed animation, one WIP, and both the WIP and final for a third animation). Not a lot, but it’s still a step up from the complete dry spell that was 2021. I think they each serve as a decent showcase of various techniques I’ve gotten from learning animation over the course of this year. My goal going into 2023 is that I’m able to somehow streamline my approach to animation to produce more animations, namely with them being short but being fairly polished and focused on particular techniques. I actually have a handful of animation concepts that are on the shelf; and I hope to get them completed over the course of the year, alongside some new concepts.

Backgrounds/environments: A step back from 2021—environments were largely non-existent; and the few I did make are still simplified compared to the environments I made back in 2021, or even 2020. With that said, I think it also shows where my focus in art has shifted from when I first started (which was largely my concept art for potential videogame environments) to where I am now (which is largely original characters created by me and others). So for 2023 I’m not really invested in keeping detailed backgrounds/environments as a priority. I have a few environment/background artworks I would like to complete, but they really are works that I only return to work on in a blue moon. I imagine that if I do get some produced, it will largely be as a bonus element. In its place; I think I’d to substitute it with a new goal for 2023—the new year is going to officially mark ten years of my online artist career. So to commemorate that, I’d like to start doing a handful of remakes of my older art over the years; to showcase my current art skills and how my art has evolved over time.

Comics/stories: I’m sorry to say nope, nada, zilch. Beyond one entry (The Great Pet Race comic, which as aforementioned was popular on deviantArt); I never got around to completing any others. There was even one comic concept I wanted to do to commemorate the launch of the Sonic 2 Movie that I’ve honestly just sat on, unfortunately. (Maybe I can get around to it for the one-year anniversary of the film’s release, maybe?) My only real explanation/excuse for this is that I was more pre-occupied with my previously-mentioned OC projects. It’s also not for a lack of ideas or a lack of trying—I have a bunch of concepts I’ve written down over the past year, a bunch of others from previous years I haven’t done yet; and I’ve even started on a couple. I think delivering on these concepts (and then some) is what I’ll pin as my biggest art priority for 2023.

Art trades/collaborations: Another one where I’ve largely struck out on. I consider this an odd miss, given the large amount of artwork I’ve done that feature other creators’ original characters (and how popular those works have been around tumblr and Twitter). This is something I think I should be easily able to deliver on going into 2023, but I’m not hedging my bets on it exactly. Like with the backgrounds/environments, I would plug this as a lower priority goal to achieve. I’d even substitute this with another goal in that I’d like to try and dip my finger into art commissions, and possibly even request some for myself. I’ve mainly shied away from taking commission requests, because of concerns with time management; when I first started with digital art, I did various avatar requests that ultimately got completed over the course of a couple of years. A more recent series of commissions I did in 2020 wasn’t as bad but still took place over the course of several weeks. In my context of my art commissions, they’re also done just for fun and for free. I’ve thought about it a couple of times, but for now, I don’t think I’m ready or particularly invested in doing art commissions as a profession/for money.

With all of my goals from 2022 examined and used to outline my goals for 2023, I think this just leaves how exactly was my art output this year, outside of comparisons to my goals. In terms of output, for the third time running; I’ve managed to outdo myself once more. 2022 saw me publishing roughly seventy different drawings (with a few animations) included, nearly eighty overall when including alternate versions of the artwork. I also do feel that some of the small springs of popularity my art garnered in 2021 helped paid certain dividends for this year. As I mentioned earlier, particular pieces I posted garnered a decent amount of popularity across the three sites I post my art on (deviantArt, Twitter, and tumblr), and a handful of them garnered some small followings on dA and Twitter. Tumblr was admittedly more a mixed experience in that I feel only a select handful of my art really garnered any traction; even though it was the platform where some of my art actually hit 100 interactions (likes/reblogs/retweets/etc., not views) for the first time ever anywhere.  And much like with last year, the gift art I made featuring other people’s OCs were broadly my most popular works; though other art I made (certain fanart and art of my OCs) were also liked quite a bit at certain places.

Beyond my art goals, I’ve been mainly thinking about changing my strategy of posting art going into 2023. As some of you who have been following me may know, I’ve been thinking about setting up shop on another social media platform; especially in light of…certain management changes that have happened with Twitter (which is a shame, as Twitter is the site I’d say my art gets the most consistent engagement. deviantArt’s flirtation with AI art and their bungled attempt to default everybody’s art into AI datasets did not help matters either). I actually almost had a fourth one up and running at Instagram a few weeks back, but was incredibly bothered with certain policies they had that I promptly had second thoughts. (I’ve cooled off a bit since then, to not completely rule that place out.) I’m still looking into other sites to try and expand my reach—regular candidates I’ve been considering are cohost, Newgrounds, and Pillowfort; hopefully I’ll finally commit to one of those options later into the new year.

I’ve also been considering different approaches in direction to the new accounts I make—when I initially opened my IG account, it was with the intention of using it as a “second-run/second-tier” art account; where I only post my more popular artworks there, after their “original run” in other areas. Truth be told, I’ve also been considering this for my Tumblr art account as well in light of how most of my art performed this recent year; leaving dA and Twitter (as long as the latter’s still up) as my “first-run” art accounts. It’s bittersweet in that tumblr’s always been my initial outlet for my art after dA (which I use as my comprehensive art archive); but I feel that it by and large feels too overlooked to give it the same amount of investment/attention as I normally do. If nothing else, maybe I’ll rely more on scheduled reblogs at certain times for posting art. I’ll cap this off with the final note that while “first-run/second-run” accounts have been my main idea for future art accounts, I’ve been considering other ideas.

…whew! I think we can leave it here, I honestly had to condense this down quite a bit. As always, to any readers who was willing to pull up a seat and coast through my stream of reflective consciousness. I offer you my personal thanks. And of course, going into the new year;I hope you have a great New Years’ Eve/New Years’ Day, and the rest of 2023 is just as good if not even better!

[ceresys]

cutely fills out another ask game

formatting sucks bc mobile and also i should be sleeping

What's your name? How did you get it?

-- espér! it comes from the french word espérance which means hope :3

How old are you? Does it change, or do you stay the same age?

-- ageless

What's your gender and sexuality?

-- vaguely masc, sometimesongic & aroace

What's your species?

-- short answe i am No

If money wasn't an issue, where would you want to travel?

-- france for the lols but uhh i heard nordic countries are really nice generally

What's your dream job?

-- hmmmm not sure

If you have exomemories, was your old life very different from your current one?

-- n/a

What kinda music do you like? Feel free to share a playlist if you have one!

-- french indie or pop is quite nice :] my fav rn is sometimes by mattyeux and princess chelsea ive listened to it for 29 hours in under a week already sjskakksksjj

Is there anyone in your system that you're extra close to?

-- nah

Do you have your own space in headspace? What's it like?

-- no but i could make one rn

How often do you front? Is fronting easy or difficult for you?

-- checks non existent notes . i have fronted once and that is right now

Is it easy or hard for you to communicate with the others in your system?

-- pretty easy but thats regular for us

Do you have any friends/family/partners outside your system?

-- *me personally* no. but we as a whole have partner systems yes and friends etc

Post a picture of how you look! (FC, Picrew, selfie, drawing, etc)

-- 😳 hold on

Is there anyone in your system you absolutely don't get along with?

-- grabs a piece of paper . that one unknown guy who fronted and put the cedilla on the word façade when writing in english but spelt "the" right before it wrong. "...tbe façade..." it was so funny idk

How would you describe your personal aesthetic?

-- ooh ooh ooh. flowers, orange, french stuff

Do you have any skills or talents the others don't?

-- im cooler than them /j

Are you part of any fandoms, subcultures, communities etc?

-- hmmm no

Is there anything that makes it obvious you're the one fronting (accent, tone of voice, quirks, etc)?

-- i dont think so

What's a silly fear you have?

-- idk

What are some of your current goals?

-- s u r v i v e

Favorite food?

-- for me like instant noodles its very,

Favorite drink?

-- waterr

Favorite ice cream flavor?

-- i haven't had it in my existence 🤔

Was it hard for you to adapt to being part of a system?

-- nah

How do you spend your time when you aren't fronting?

-- checks non existent note again

How do you like to dress?

-- comfy

What's a belief of yours that others might consider weird?

-- hmmmmmm lemme think

Do you do anything creative (writing, drawing, roleplaying, stitching, cosplaying, etc)? Feel free to show off some of your work!

-- noh :(

How do you personally explain your system's plurality? (Spiritual, psychological, gateway, soulbond, neurogenic, etc)

-- stares uhhhhhh complicated

Do you have any disorders or neurodivergencies that the rest of the system doesn't?

-- not me personally

If your system has disorders or neurodivergencies, do your symptoms differ from the others'?

-- my attention span is extra low 💀

If you could pick a super power, what would it be?

-- ooh hard one. know all world languages (to avoid catches: to as much extent possible, updates to stay with the times, i actually have a decent accent, it doesnt explode my brain, etc)

What's your favorite thing about yourself?

-- gay

Do you have a system role?

-- nope :( but maybe the spotify listener who listens to spotify too often /j

[fanfic-scribbles]

Crash Pad

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: You’re just minding your own business when the Winter Soldier crashes into your life. Literally.

Quick facts: Romance – established past Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes leading into Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight mention of blood

Words: 7801

A/N: I started writing this a few months ago and almost finished when my life got fairly shook up. Still, I’m quite proud of being able to eke out an ending. For anybody who only cares about this story, feel free to skip this note, but for anybody following my other stuff: writing is going to be slow for the time being. My mom died and things are pretty topsy-turvy right now. Writing is still a comfort, but head to hands isn’t working the same right now. Thanks for your patience; I hope this is a pleasant read for you in the mean time <3

  ~

 You’re getting ready for bed and have just turned off the living room light when you hear a clatter on the fire escape. You haven’t gotten over to shut the window yet and you wince at the thought of maybe coming face to face with a giant rat, or a raccoon, although you haven’t yet seen a raccoon and you’re pretty sure they don’t live in the city but it would probably be better than a rat the size of a raccoon–

What you get is much, much worse as a fully grown man falls through the curtains, knocks over a side table and potted plant, and crashes onto your living room floor with a wheezed (but emphatic), “God damn it!”

You freeze, unsure of whether to run or yell or maybe both. However the man flounders on the floor, unable to otherwise move much as he holds his side and– is that blood on your floor?

“Are you okay?” you ask despite everything.

He yanks his head back to look at you and grimaces. “Fuck, I–” He tries to get up, slips in what you are almost positive is blood, and slumps over with a little sigh and a handful of muttered curses that might be in another language. “I am really sorry about this,” he says lowly, like he's embarrassed to be bleeding out in a stranger’s living room. Then he shifts a little more and moonlight gleams on his arm. His very…shiny…completely metal arm, and you find a whole new way to be concerned.

You should have known the reasonable rent was a goddamn trap.

You take a few steps back, barely avoid hitting the counter, and flick the light back on without taking your eyes away from the man on your floor. He squints at the brightness and shows you a face that is, both fortunately and unfortunately, familiar. Fortunately because Captain America and the Avengers somehow got him pardoned for potential war crimes and treason even without him being present for any of that circus of a trial. Unfortunately because…war crimes. And treason. And that is definitely blood.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out and looks a little woozy. “There were sheets– I thought the building was empty.”

“The sheeting is for the building right next to us,” you say and sigh. “I’m going to guess you are not in favor of me calling an ambulance?”

He just blinks at you a few times. Maybe he is secretly a raccoon.

“Please don’t,” he says, some life returning to his eyes, and he looks you up and down. The rubber duck pajamas must put him at ease because, while he is still tensely holding his midsection, his shoulders relax a little. “I’m so–”

“Sorry, yes, I know.” You point at the bathroom. “I’m going to get the first aid kit and hopefully I won’t have to explain to the coroner’s office why Captain America’s boo bled out on my floor.”

You’re just opening up the cupboard that hopefully contains at least some band-aids when he calls out, “What the hell is a ‘boo?’”

~

Two old t-shirts, one and a half rolls of dusty gauze, and his own homemade stitch kit later, the man is finally all patched up. “How are you not passing out from blood loss?” you ask, eyeing the mess on the nice hardwood that has definitely just lost you your deposit. But there’s no corpse to deal with, so at least things aren’t as bad as they could be.

“I’m built pretty hardy.” He sits up a little more and groans. Before you can beg him not to split his side again, he extends his hand. “James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky.”

You shake his hand (gently) and tell him your name. “Do you let everybody call you Bucky, or just the people whose floor you bleed all over?” Something moving catches your eye and you sigh at the sight of your inexpensive (but still nice) curtains blowing slightly, showing off their new stains. “Floor and drapes…”

“I’ll clean it,” he says. “I can get blood out of anything.” He winces. “I…that sounds worse than it is.”

“I imagine getting blood out of anything is a good skill for an international spy-assassin to have,” you say.

Bucky scowls. And, you think, blushes a little, though how he has enough blood to do that you don’t know. You look at the spot again. It looks big to you but maybe you’re making a fuss over nothing. No, wait, there’s still dried blood on your floor. You’re allowed a fuss. “So you know who I am.”

“Your boy made it hard to miss,” you say.

He grumbles to himself, then says, “He’s always such a drama queen. I didn’t need to be pardoned.”

“Really,” you say and look at the bloodied handkerchief wrapped around a bullet he dug out of himself. “Looks like at least one other person disagrees with you.”

“This was Steve’s fight, not mine.” He huffs. “Story of my goddamn lif–”

He suddenly falls back and you reach out instinctively to catch him. He recovers quickly, wild-eyed and stiff and you scoot back just in case. He takes a few deep breaths and seems to force himself calm. It doesn’t look very effective and you’re honestly starting to worry. “You really–”

“I did not faint,” he snaps and maybe he has more blood than you thought, or maybe absolutely all of it has come to collect in his face.

“I was going to say you really need a hospital,” you say. “But yeah, you did.”

He grumbles under his breath and then, as if predicting your protests, stands up quickly enough to waver. Serves him right, you think, but when he scowls at you, you wonder if maybe he’s psychic too. “Try not to pass out on your way home,” you say, because if he wants to leave there’s really nothing you can do to stop him.

“Funny,” he says. He clears his throat and adds, much more sincerely, “Thanks.”

For the t-shirts, for the first aid kit, for not calling the cops, for not calling the Avengers so Captain America can hone in on him like a cartoon hound, for not bitching about the floor too much– the list is many and varied and so you give him a simple nod and hope you can get even a little bit of sleep tonight because work tomorrow is going to be hell without it.

He goes back to the window and before you can point out you have a perfectly good door, Bucky slips out onto the fire escape again. You shrug to yourself and go over to firmly flip the lock. You’ve done your part– in the event he slips and hits his head, someone else can be the good Samaritan. You’re going to bed and tomorrow this is going to feel like a weird dream, if there is even a single good deity in existence.

~

You’re not sure if it’s proof of or a mark against the existence of said single good deity when Bucky shows back up in your fire escape the next evening and taps politely against your open window before he lets himself back in, scooting your new plant just an inch out of the way.

“I have a door,” is the first thing that comes out of your mouth.

“Your hallway’s too well lit,” he says, much more hale and hearty and obviously not suffering major blood loss. His hair even looks like he just got out of the shower, all soft and shiny and bouncing a bit as he twists his upper body to start pulling stuff out of a backpack hanging off one shoulder. “I got stuff to clean the floor, and a replacement first aid kit. You outta keep it better stocked, so I got you one of the good ones.”

“O…kay,” you say, for lack of anything better. There’s a hysterical laugh building up in the back of your throat as the Winter Soldier brings out some rags and a cleaning solution for your bloodstained hardwood floor, but you cough it out and say, “Thanks,” when the formerly-feared international assassin looks at you like you’re crazy before he gets on his hands and knees and starts scrubbing.

It’s not fair no one would believe you. You’re not quite sure this isn’t an elaborate daydream, but then, you like to think you’d imagine something more fun than this. You clear your throat. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No thanks,” he grunts, glaring at the floor and rubbing at the stain like it has offended him personally. It’s a little worrisome when he goes at it hard enough to maybe rub a hole right through the floor– you’d rather deal with the stain– but there’s a hard edge to his eyes that make you think maybe it’s a good idea for him to work it out in a productive, non-violent way. And if it turns violent, hopefully he has some home repair skills to make up for it.

You busy yourself with making tea, using the nice pot and the nice cups you never get to break out, and by the time it’s almost done steeping Bucky isn’t rubbing quite so hard and, in fact, seems to have made the stain do a disappearing act.

“Nice,” you say. “You want some tea? I made plenty.”

He lifts his head and tilts it as he squints at you, like he’s still not sure of you. But he shrugs, says, “Sure,” and stands up, rolling his shoulders. He looks down at the floor and nods appreciatively before coming to sit on the other side of the counter. “It’s almost gone; just a little bit more and it’ll be like I was never here.”

That last part could have been a decent joke, but he said it so seriously you just clear your throat. “Thanks,” you say and start pouring. “My landlord is going to have to find some other excuse to try and keep my security deposit.”

Bucky snorts but otherwise makes no noise. At first it’s nice, if a bit awkward, as you don’t really feel the need to fill the silence, but it becomes clear by the way Bucky glares at the plant sitting in front of him on the counter that something is eating at him. You’re not sure whether or not to pry, but it seems polite to at least ask, “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he grunts and leans even lower to the surface of the counter.

You stare at him. “I appreciate what you did, but you didn’t have to come back,” you say gently, because a pissed-off former-assassin isn’t really a problem you want to have on your hands. “I’m not awful enough to actually expect you to clean up your own blood the day after you nearly bled to death.”

“What?” He blinks and then scowls and shakes his head. “No, it’s not that; it’s…” He picks up his cup and downs all of it, despite the fact that it was still steaming. Tentatively you pour him another cup, to which he says, “thanks,” before loading it with sugar again. “It’s good,” he says and this time he sips it.

“It’s one of my favorites. Very soothing,” you say. “Normally.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I wish anything was soothing. You know Steve almost ran into a goddamn minefield today?”

You didn’t know that, you don’t think anything the Avengers do is any of your business, really, and where does one even find a minefield in New York City– you don’t say any of that, but you apparently don’t need to, because Bucky is off like a shot saying more words than you’d have thought possible for him. All of it is ranting about what a reckless dumbass Captain America is, and a Brooklyn accent increasingly comes through, egged into existence by sheer aggravation. You sit and listen, transfixed not so much by the details (they’re too fleeting and sparse) but by how annoyed Bucky is with Captain Amer- with “Steve goddamn pain in the ass Rogers” and you’re never going to be able to see him again without snickering.

Bucky sighs heavily and rests his chin on the table. He looks very tired, all of a sudden. Maybe a relaxing tea and enthusiastic rant wasn’t the best combination. Then again, he also looks less tense, so perhaps it’s fine. “Why don’t you stop for the night and go get some sleep,” you say and take away his cup. “You can finish up tomorrow.”

He squints at you, squints back at the floor (that you honestly can’t tell is any different from the rest), and looks back at you. “You don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” you say and stack the cups. “When you come back refreshed you can tell me why Steve Rogers can never walk past that animal shelter without ducking his head in shame.”

Bucky’s smile is lopsided and he shakes his head. “Maybe,” he admits and hops off the chair. “I’ll just…leave the stuff here then, if that’s okay?”

You nod and he quickly picks up and puts the supplies in the empty bottom space of your side table. He goes for the window.

“I have a-!”

And he’s gone. You roll your eyes. If Steve Rogers really is as much of an asshole as Bucky says he is, then those two deserve each other.

~

For all that the Captain America mythos has been debunked for you, you’re still brought up short when you suddenly encounter Steve Rogers the next night.

On your fire escape.

He knocks his head against the railing in his scramble to simultaneously get up and face you, curses, and lifts his hands defensively. “I can explain.”

You rub your face with both hands. They definitely deserve each other. “I doubt that,” you mutter and sigh heavily. Thank goodness there haven’t been any actual fires; you don’t know how you’d get out with all these buff superheroes hanging around outside your window. “Have you lost something?”

Captain America looks at the ground for a moment, and then flashes you a smile. “…Yes?”

God, he is a smartass. “Do you want to come inside or do you want to risk some Nosy Nancy from the building across the street seeing a big shadow and calling the cops?”

That would never happen, but he slips inside almost immediately and then there he is, in all his uniformed, shield-holding glory. It’s too weird to think about, and you step back to give him (and you) space while you close the curtains. “Thank you,” he says politely and looks around. “Your apartment is lovely; it’s very…green.”

You’re not sure why he hesitates, until you see him looking at your yellowing majesty palm. “He’s coming back,” you say and go to adjust the plant for lack of anything else your nervous hands can do. “Would you like something to drink?”

“No thank you,” he says and stands with his feet shoulder wide and his hands clasped down in front of him. It is perhaps the least comforting thing he can do and for one ridiculous moment you wish Bucky was here to be in between you. You wish the Winter Soldier was here. To protect you. From Captain America.

You clear your throat. “So,” you say and grab yourself something. “Do you lurk outside everyone’s apartment at some point, or am I just special?”

For all his military posturing, Captain America squirms like a schoolboy. “I swear I wasn’t– okay, I guess I was but not intentionally? I was…looking. For something.”

“Something you dropped?” you ask him.

“A person,” he says, staring elsewhere. For a moment you have a paranoid thought he’s staring at the space where Bucky had fallen in that night, but no, he’s just looking at the window. At least you remembered to change the curtains.

“Pretty sure you can see one of those without squinting into the grates,” you say.

“He might have passed through on his way somewhere else,” Captain America says. “Have you seen a man outside?”

“Other than you?” you ask. He blushes even harder than Bucky does– and think of the devil, you have a moment where you’re not sure what you should say, but quickly come to realize that whatever is going on between the two of them, you do not want to get stuck in the middle.

You’re prepared to lie your ass off, but he apparently takes your response as a rebuke. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make you feel unsafe.”

“It’s fine,” you say. Despite his previous answer, you lean into the fridge to get him a bottle of water. “I’m pretty sure Captain America isn’t going to murder me. And if you decided you wanted to, well, there’s nothing I could really do about it.”

He chokes on the drink he’s just taken. You instinctively lean in so you can slam his back but after a couple of hits he covers his mouth and waves you off. “Sorry, sorry,” he says and grabs a nearby dishcloth to wipe up what he just spit on the counter. “That was just…really dark.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not the one lurking on fire escapes,” you say.

He rolls his eyes. The nerve. You laugh and he actually grins. Asshole. His smile softens though and he says, “I’m really–”

“Sorry,” you finish for him.

“Am I that predictable already?”

You shrug. You want to tell him it’s because he and Bucky seem very much alike in that respect. You want to but…you don’t. Whatever Bucky’s problem is, he seems to want to deal with it himself, and it’s not your place to get in between them and start snitching. “You seem the type. Don’t worry about it so much. You…look pretty worried. I’m not going to hold it against you.”

“Thank you.” His lips turn into a sad sort-of smile and he takes a slower drink. “I guess I am pretty worried. This man I’m looking for, he’s…important to me, and he’s been through a lot, and I just want to know he’s okay.”

You stare at him. He looks down. And looks down. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to babble like that,” he says and glances at you with a strained smile. “I don’t normally do that.”

“Hm.” You stare at him for several seconds and notice he is blinking an awful lot. “You look exhausted.”

“I’m a little tired,” he says, quietly, and some of the posturing seeps out of him and he lets himself slump a little more. He suddenly shakes his head and sits up straight again. “Thanks again for…” He looks around and settles for shaking his water bottle.

You hold back a laugh. “Sure. I uh…do you need me to call you a cab?”

He shakes his head firmly and, to his credit, he’s pretty excellent at pretending to be okay. You almost believe him. “I can get home all right.”

“Well, please make sure you do. I can think of a lot of people who’d be sad to think of you collapsing on the way home because you wore yourself down to the bone,” you say. “And from how you seem to worry about your friend, I bet you can think of at least one.”

He blinks, like he’s surprised, but a smile curls onto his face, warm and true. “Good night,” he says, and because you’re so nice, you don’t stop him when he goes back out the window. At this point, it’s beginning to feel like a lost cause.

~

“What did you say to him?”

“I know you don’t like the door,” you say, not even turning away from the plant you’re watering. Any time you put down the canister you forget where you left off and you are not going to kill these plants by overwatering. Not again. “But maybe you could at least tap on the window when you decide you’re going to enter my apartment.”

“Why do you leave your window open?” Bucky huffs. You can hear him sit at the counter behind you. “You know what kind of creeps can take advantage of that?”

You finish watering the last plant and turn to stare at him. “I’m starting to get an idea.”

Bucky scowls. “I’m not a creep,” he mutters.

“Polite society encourages doorways instead of windows,” you say. “It’s okay. Captain America, apparently, is also a creep.”

Bucky sits up straighter. “What did he say?”

“Not much,” you say. “He was squatting on the fire escape like he could make you spontaneously materialize. I invited him in for an explanation and after a little while he went on his way.”

“After a little while,” Bucky repeats and squints at you suspiciously.

You shrug. “He likes to vent to complete strangers, apparently. But I didn’t tell him anything about you, it doesn’t seem fair to tell you anything about him. If you want to know, I get the feeling you can go ask him.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but he stands up and stretches. “You said I bled on the drapes?”

“I already scrubbed that out, if you can finish the floor,” you say and go for the tea pot. “Do you like green tea?”

“As long as you do it right,” he says and starts scrubbing again. “I hate it all bitter.”

You go for the good matcha and start preparing it while he works out his frustrations on your floor. You glance at him a couple of times but he seems fully focused on his task, until you finish the tea and call him back to the bar.

“Steve Rogers is a pain in the ass and don’t let anyone tell you different,” he grumbles, but it’s soft and there’s a troubled look on his face as he takes his cup.

“Do you miss him?” you ask and blow gently across your drink.

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. Just as you're about to apologize for overstepping, though, he speaks. “It’s hard to go back when you’ve done the shit I have, you know?”

No. You have absolutely no idea what it’s like to live as a free man after decades of literal objectification and being used as a murder weapon for fascists. But it doesn’t seem very helpful to say that, so instead you say, gently, “I can’t even imagine.”

Bucky bobs his head and takes another sip of his drink. You’re delighted he seems to be drinking it fairly quickly, but also a little dismayed because a good matcha latte takes a decent amount of work and it’ll take a little time if he wants another cup. “I want to go back but I can’t yet. I wish he wouldn’t be so goddamn stubborn about it is all. Just because he thinks I didn’t do anything wrong doesn’t make it true.”

You nod, like any of this makes any goddamn sense to you. But maybe– maybe it doesn’t have to. Maybe Bucky’s saying all this because you’re an outside entity with no personal stake in, or knowledge of, what counts as treason, or what’s needed to lack culpability, or what it means to be an absent friend.

He rambles, a little bit, and though about half the words are proper nouns you don’t recognize, you nod along, and when he finishes his latte you make him another one, and when he leaves, you don’t mention the door. Even though you want to.

~

You’ve actually forgotten how nice it is to have someone come through the door. Case in point–

“Um, I hope this is all right,” Steve Rogers, dressed in casual civilian fare and holding a small pot of flowers, says as you can do nothing but stare at him. “I just wanted to stop by and thank you again for being so understanding. May I…come in?”

That snaps you out of your funk and you quickly stand aside. “Of course; sorry, I just…wasn’t expecting you.”

“I was just going to leave the plant with a note if you weren't here, but I’m glad you were,” Captain Rogers says and walks in, and sets the pot down on the counter.

You walk over to the fridge. “Would you like something to–” As you turn to finish the question you see him glance furtively at the window. Ah, of course. He looks down guiltily and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh. Well, he did come through the correct entrance and brought some pretty flowers. “All right, you did knock on the door this time; go sniff around the fire escape all you want.”

“I’m just checking something I forgot,” he says quickly and goes to the window. He’s only outside long enough for you to brew some tea and he comes back in just as you’re pouring his cup. It isn’t until he’s about to take a sip, however, that he says, “Oh– I know it looks bad, but Bucky– sorry, James Barnes– I swear he isn’t dangerous.”

“I know. I saw some of the trial stuff,” you lie. Well, you did see some of it, but it wasn’t until you heard Bucky mutter “Martha Stewart was right,” while fussing at some of the blood on his shirt that you felt safer. Strange as it is to think.

Steve relaxes his shoulders like some of the weight is off of them. “You have no idea how good that is to hear. You wouldn’t believe some of the things people say to me. I can’t really punch people anymore because I’m so much stronger now but it’s so tempting sometimes. At least when it’s online I can mime punching them.”

His annoyed tone allows you to laugh a little. “Maybe imagine the block button is a punch in the face?” you suggest.

He grins. “My friend Clint suggested printing out the most irritating comments and taping them to a punching bag. It didn’t really work but the thought was nice. The block button as a punch to the face though…”

The guy doesn’t really need more violence in his life, but he genuinely seems pleased with the idea, so you let it be. And when he starts ranting in detail about some of the comments he gets about Bucky, you make a new pot of tea– chamomile. For the both of you.

~

You don’t know how the flowers are dead already– it seems like Steve just brought them and they were so pretty you immediately looked up care instructions and followed them to the letter. Or so you thought. But now, only days later, you have a pot of dirt and withered petals.

And Bucky sulking at your counter.

“I told him I was fine,” he says petulantly.

You sigh and bring the pot over to the sink and think about what to do. “Did you tell him in person?”

“In a letter. He knew it was from me.”

The soil looks nice, so you’ll dig out the remains and try to plant some replacement seeds. Maybe that was the problem– maybe the flowers were sick or something. “Well reading and seeing are two different things.”

“He knows I cover him in fights.”

You slowly look at Bucky. His oh-so intelligent response is to bristle like a cat and go, “What?”

You roll your eyes. “He’s desperate to see you, knows you’re near when he’s fighting, and you wonder why he’s “so goddamn reckless?’”

Bucky just glares. Yeah, these two morons absolutely deserve each other.

You hope Bucky figures it out sooner rather than later.

~

He doesn’t, but he keeps coming by, as does Steve, and you resign yourself to hosting two pining idiots who keep dancing around each other.

Bucky drinks anything you give him without complaint. However he drinks the lattes and almost anything green tea a little quicker, though he tries to hide his cup from you when he does. Whether he’s ashamed of going through them so fast or embarrassed you don’t know, but you start to give him bigger cups, and that seems to help.

The first time you give Steve a cup of apple pie spice, he gives you a severe glare– which he then completely undermines by liking the blend immensely.

“I swore the next person who offered me apple pie would get popped,” Steve says, an amusing mixture of half-bluster and half-shame as he sips from the classic teacup you hope not to regret handing him.

“Lucky for me it’s not actually apple pie,” you say. “Do people really make that joke?”

The eyeroll Steve gives that is 200% sass. “You have no idea,” he says, deadly serious, “–how funny people think they are.”

~

This becomes…oddly normal. Listening to Steve talk about anything that’s on his mind, giving Bucky new tea blends just to see how he reacts to them; your apartment is no longer just you and a bunch of greenery that seems to wilt more often than not. Everything seems warmer, and better– even your plants seem healthier. (For that, though, you suspect Bucky is giving them a special mixture of something after you catch a glance of him messing with one of the pots. You want to ask him what he’s doing, but you don’t want to admit that he’s better at taking care of them than you are.)

It’s so normal, that you feel the silence only after the first few nights without a visit. They don’t visit every night, but they visit often enough that you know they’re off somewhere even without them telling you. For a couple of weeks you try to pretend the quiet doesn’t bother you, but you check the fire escape twice every night, and then once more before you go to bed.

~

The next time you see Bucky is during one of these checks. There was no tapping, no noise to otherwise alert you, he’s just suddenly back, sitting next to the window, hunched over in black clothes nearly blending into the darkness and staring out at nothing in the night.

“What’s wrong?” you ask and crawl out to kneel next to him. “Are you hurt again?”

“No,” he mutters and continues to glare at some imaginary point in the distance. “Steve was, though.”

It’s a little harder to swallow. “Is he going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” Bucky mumbles and buries his mouth further against his arms. “He’s fine, strutting around the hospital like a- like a- …” He huffs and sits back to wave his arms before he curls back in on himself. “But it was close, and he’s an asshole.”

“Mm,” you say. “Chamomile mint?”

He sighs heavily but he gets to his feet and starts to enter, only to stop and hold open the curtains for you.

“Thank you sir,” you say with only a hint of sarcasm and go on ahead to get the tea started. Bucky snorts but doesn’t say anything and you use the time the water needs to heat up to take care of some of your plants.

“Stop it.”

The snap comes so fast from Bucky you immediately stop what you’re doing. He doesn’t look as angry as he sounded, but he’s frowning pretty hard. “You're overwatering that one; jade plants are succulents. You don’t need to drown it.”

You look at the plant and set the watering can down. “Oh.” You knew that. You think. You’re just nervous. “Did you see him? In the hospital?”

“Briefly. I didn’t talk to him; just made sure he was all right,” Bucky says. “And he is. I wouldn’t leave him if he wasn’t.”

That does assuage some of your concerns. Steve is nice. You want him to be okay. And Bucky is– also nice, but god, they’re both so fucking frustrating. “You couldn’t have just–”

“Don’t start with–”

“I’m just saying–”

“And I’m telling you not to say–”

“I pay the rent for all that you sublet my fire escape; I’ll say what I want,” you manage to finish to Bucky’s consternation. You lift your head proudly and he frowns to one side. And then he…smirks. You’re not sure you like that.

“Crappiest space in the city,” he says and sits up. “You could at least get a chair.”

You roll your eyes and dole out the tea, fixing it the way Bucky likes. No sugar for this one, but plenty of honey. “If I ever have to leave for an actual fire, I’ll be in enough trouble trying to get around you.”

“Nah. I’d carry you out,” Bucky says and lifts his cup in a silent ‘cheers.’ He takes a sip and the sigh sounds content, so you assume you did it right. For a few moments a comfortable silence settles between the two of you as you sip warm drinks surrounded by greenery (that is mostly green) and life goes on in faint sounds outside the confines of your home.

Bucky sets his empty cup down with a sigh. “Do you think, if I show up to throttle him, that he’ll actually start watching his own fucking back?”

You give that some serious thought. “Will you give him time to moon at you first?”

Bucky sighs with disgust and flumps back onto the counter. “This is stupid. This all feels so stupid.”

You open your mouth because you do have a lot of opinions about honest communication and using innocent civilian apartments to dance around each other, but Bucky shoots you a glare to let you know that a, he knows, and b, he doesn’t appreciate it. You roll your eyes and go back to drinking your tea. It is a very good blend, and you’re not going to let it go unappreciated because two early 20th century boys can’t get their shit together.

Not that you’re complaining, really– you’re starting to feel like less of a disaster by comparison. Or maybe letting two strange men into your apartment makes you just as bad by default. You rub the bridge of your nose. Yeah, no one is getting out of this looking sane. You feel like that should bother you more than it does, but it’s just a fleeting thought before you go back to worrying about Steve and pouring Bucky’s cup back to full.

~

The next night when someone knocks on your door, you’re only mildly surprised to see Steve on the other side. And most of that surprise is because you can see fading bruises on his face, and also because he is holding a fairly big potted plant with tall green and yellow-edged leaves.

“Hi,” he says and lifts the pot slightly. “I got you a present.”

“Uh, wow; thanks?” you say and quickly step back to let him in, momentarily forgetting he can probably carry it around with ease. Steve places the plant on the floor near the end of your couch, where it actually looks fairly nice. He gestures at it proudly. “It’s a snake plant. The man at the nursery said it’s very hard to kill.”

“You’re not funny,” you say but you look at it appreciatively. It is nice, and you could do with ‘hard to kill’. Speaking of– “Should you be up? You look like you should be in a hospital.”

He shrugs and his face goes neutral. “I’m healing well enough that there’s nothing a hospital could do for me. And I felt so…restless.”

You nod. “Want some tea?”

“Please. I really like what you make,” he says and immediately takes a seat at the counter. Oddly enough, it’s not the one Bucky always takes. You don’t realize you squint at the space for too long until Steve looks curious and asks, “Is everything okay?”

You squint at the countertop. “Yeah, just…trying to figure out if that’s a stain or a spot.”

Thankfully there is a spot of spilled something and you quickly grab a towel and wipe it away. You think it’s a pretty good save, but Steve looks at you with a raised brow, like he’s figured something out. You freeze. “What?” What are you going to say? How is he going to react? What will you–

“Was that a coffee ring?”

You blink a few times, and then roll your eyes as your chest practically deflates. He smiles and winks. “I can’t believe you.”

“I am a layered human being who can drink many things,” you say defensively. “And if you want coffee you’ll have to ask another time. I’m not giving you anything with caffeine in it when you look like you got hit by a truck.”

“Train,” he corrects absently. “It barely clipped me.”

You sigh and go for the sleepy blend. One of you is going to have to bow out of this conversation due to exhaustion and at this point you don’t care if it’s you. However it might truly come in handy as Steve keeps looking out the window and shaking his foot. You set the cup in front of him and before you can ask what’s wrong, he takes the cup in both hands and blurts out, “I think I saw him.”

You look at the window and squint. “Seriously?”

“Not here.” Steve rolls his eyes. Like you’re the crazy one. He blows gently across the surface of the liquid and says, “Though it’s strange you’d think I saw Bucky out of your window.”

“Isn't that why you started showing up here in the first place? I distinctly remember someone with a big red, white, and blue shield lurking on my fire escape.”

“Oh, right,” he admits sheepishly, hunched over his cup. His eyes glimmer with mischief as he looks up at you through long lashes and asks, “Did I ever apologize to you for that?”

You’re brought up short by the amount of boyish charm this giant walking wall of muscle manages to pack into that look and you have to find your tongue to say, “I– y-yeah…”

Steve chuckles to himself and you give yourself a mental slap on the face. “Troll,” you mutter and sip from your mug. The liquid is piping hot and burns your tongue, giving you an excuse to grimace when Steve flashes you a beautiful smile.

~

You’re in trouble.

Not physically, not immediately, and perhaps someone on the outside might say you’re being dramatic about it, but they wouldn’t know shit about the situation. They wouldn’t know about how your hands felt as they slid over Steve’s when he handed you a new small pot of flowers; they wouldn’t know about the feeling of serenity that settled over you when Bucky abandoned some of his oh so careful control and rested his head on your shoulder for four long seconds; they wouldn’t know how it feels like you’re missing something until someone shows up at your door or taps at your window.

You’re falling in love with two people who have always been, and still are, desperately in love with each other.

Isn’t that just your luck.

~

In the end, Bucky takes your advice more to heart than you ever expected he would– you and Steve are quietly enjoying each others’ company, with you standing in the kitchen and Steve sitting at the counter as per usual, when the curtains move dramatically for Bucky to slip in, which makes Steve whirl around, and your hands jerk so hard from all the sudden surprise that your cup slips out and crashes to the floor.

“Shi-” You forget to watch your step and immediately catch a jagged shard that embeds itself right under the ball of your foot. “Ow, fuck!”

Your name is said in different voices but very similar tones of alarm and you suddenly find yourself gathered into Bucky’s arms, bridal style, and he carries you over to the couch. “Wh-” You swallow at the close proximity to Bucky’s chest and the way he holds you so effortlessly but so securely. “I’m fine; it’s just a little–”

Bucky sits down on the couch and doesn’t move you, which means you are basically sitting cross-wise in his lap. This is not something you need after your recent revelation, and it doesn’t get any easier when Steve comes back with the heavy duty first aid kit Bucky got you and gingerly takes your foot to examine the injury. His sympathetic look towards you gives you the warning you need to brace yourself before he pulls the shard out. It doesn’t hurt too terribly and he’s almost tender as he cleans your foot.

“Look at us, matching blood and all,” Bucky says lightly.

“It’s my floor I’ll bleed on it if I want,” you grumble, but you’re too distracted by how focused Steve is on fixing you up. “You…seem to be taking this well.”

“I knew he had been here since the first time I came,” Steve admits as he rolls the gauze around your foot. “There was a bloodstain on your floor still.”

“Seriously?” You had thought Bucky was being overdramatic about the supposed stain and humored him, but it…makes sense. Why else would he come back the next night. Why else would Steve continue to come by. And because Steve had kept coming, Bucky had kept coming, and…they won’t need to come back anymore, will they? They now have what they’ve wanted. Each other.

Someone says your name and you force yourself back to neutral as much as you possibly can. Steve looks curious though and Bucky says, “What’s with that look?”

“There’s no look,” you say. “And if there is, it’s only because you two have devised the weirdest meet-cute ever– decades after you actually met.”

“Hm.” Bucky continues to stare at you, but doesn’t say anything else.

~

They come back. And they both use the door.

You don’t know what you’re more shocked by– that Bucky and Steve, having come back to each other, are still coming around to you, or that Bucky is actually walking through the designated threshold. You don’t have a lot of time to think about it though because the place is…a mess.

“What happened here?” Steve asks as Bucky’s shoulders go up to his ears and he looks around the place like he’s going to find something unpleasant.

“It’s not that bad,” you say and glance around. You’ve cleaned out a few of the pots already and stacked them away in the closet, but some of the plants are still…slightly alive, for a little while. A couple are even doing fairly well– one of which being the snake plant Steve got you.

“What happened to the jungle?” Bucky asks, looking around shrewdly. You don’t like the sound of that. It feels so…probing, and raises your hackles. Why should he care?

“I wasn’t keeping them alive for very long.” You flick a yellowing leaf and keep your tone light. “I just got tired of it. What are…what are you doing here?”

You don’t look at Steve, but he clears his throat and his tone is similar to Bucky’s when he asks, “Is now a bad time?”

“For what?” You square your shoulders and face them. Like an adult. Like an adult who had two other adults just sort of crash into their life one day and start sharing space until such time as the two window-crashers decided they…didn’t need to come around anymore. “I’m happy you both found each other. You didn’t have to come back.”

Steve looks…well, he looks hurt. You don’t know any other way to describe it; it doesn’t show in his face so much as in his eyes, in the feeling you get watching the line of his shoulders lower. But before he can say anything, before you can explain yourself, Bucky speaks up.

“It isn’t like that,” he says.

You look down. It’s easier than looking at a man who feels rejected, and a man who has you completely pegged.

“What?” Steve asks.

“It’s okay,” you say, in perhaps the biggest bald-faced lie you’ve ever told.

“That’s not– no,” Bucky insists and lifts your chin. His fingers are warm and gentle and linger too long.

You pull back from his touch before you can embarrass yourself further. “You guys were literally circling each other.”

“Please.” Bucky rolls his eyes. “I don’t need to keep coming back here to be near Steve. I know where he lives.”

“And I leave my window unlocked,” Steve says. He aims a cheeky grin at Bucky and adds, “Guess I should have left it open though.”

“Shut up,” Bucky tells him but looks at you and says, “Point is: we weren't using you.”

Steve blinks. “Oh– no, of course not!”

“It’s all right,” you say, trying as hard as you can to assuage their discomfort even though you can’t put much into it. Even though you did very much want this meeting to happen, somehow you don’t feel very ‘all right.’

“No,” Bucky says and takes your hand in his. The flesh hand, which he runs up to the middle of your forearm. His touch is gentle and light, even when he grips. You can break away, but you don’t– you let him pull you in, close and closer, until there’s barely any room between you.

Steve crowds from the side and puts one arm behind Bucky, and one arm behind you. “If you only think we’re here because of each other, then it’s not all right,” he says softly.

“I know it isn’t– I know you weren't ‘using’ m–” You swallow hard. “And I know it’s not–”

They both swoop in for a kiss– for a kiss with you. Somehow they avoid bumping heads and the lip-lip-lip contact is barely there, with Steve at the corner and Bucky barely catching one side of your upper lip, but they're both there for a glorious moment that leaves you stunned.

“Oh…” you say, dumbly. You try to fight it, but a smile pulls at your lips. “Oh.”

“That good already, huh?” Steve asks quietly, slowly forming a small smile of his own.

You let out a little sigh that is immediately undermined by an uncontrollable laugh that swells from a bubble of relief at the base of your throat. “Bucky’s right, you are insufferable,” you say but you reach out to sweep your fingers in a gentle touch down Steve’s cheek and under his chin.

“You get used to it,” Bucky says.

You think about that. Even with how you’ve been, entertaining these two rotating planets over the last however many weeks or months, this would be an entirely new normal.

You think you can’t wait to get used to it.

[astriiformes]

New Year’s Resolutions are always dubiously helpful for me, but it is a good time for reflection, so here is an organization of things that are not quite “resolutions,” but possible goals for me nonetheless:

Writing:

Last year I made a post expressing how excited I was that I had started working on fic again in earnest, and modestly expressed the hope that I could match it and write at least 25k of fic in 2021. Turns out that I instead managed to publish 84,582 words of fic, marking my most productive writing year.... ever. 

What I am taking away from that: Fandom challenges & events are great motivators for me. The bulk of that published fic is from Whumptober and my Fandom Trumps Hate piece, and Whumptober in particular was a fantastic test of my skills & gave me some ideas for larger stories

What I would like to do in 2022: Keep that momentum! I love writing and posting fic so much and even though it’s hard it’s been great for me! That said, 2021 was also the year of not working on existing projects and instead posting new ones. Part of that was a new special interest developing in August, but in 2022 I want to return to my LotR longfic and BttF stories I’ve had percolating for ages, alongside new TOH stuff and finishing my FTH story/hopefully taking on a new one

(Additionally: I want to look more at non-fanfic writing projects. Thinking more seriously about original fiction or academic/freelance publishing seems like something worth doing if my writing ability is really returning so strongly, after struggling with it for so long)

Cosplay:

I only finished one cosplay in 2021, but Hunter’s Golden Guard outfit is far and away the most complicated one I’ve ever made and proof that I really have launched into a new sort of... echelon of ability

What I am taking away from that: I can in fact learn new skills without too much angst, and I do have some really solid problem-solving creating abilities (throwing together a mask to go with my Percy cosplay at 3am the night before wearing it again also proved this). It is absolutely worth tackling the projects I have been putting off because I think my abilities aren’t good enough. (Also, I really love the hobby and should invest in it)

What I would like to do in 2022: Finish at least one new cosplay from scratch. I also might like to fix up or remake parts of some others, but I want to tackle something completely new and finish it before the end of the year. Raine, most likely, but I also kind of want to look seriously at starting Fjord or Caduceus finally after worrying that they’d be “too hard” for me for a while now. Also, maybe look into doing a real photoshoot at some point because my costume(s) actually look good!

Music:

I struggled with this one this year and got very imposter syndrome-y about my abilities as a musician. Not so many successes. But I did write multiple original songs, which is a new one for me, and play one concert at the local con this summer, and at the very end of the year, before I injured my hand, was actually trying to regularly practice again!

What I am taking away from that: I know what I am insecure about and should tackle that as well as try to actually keep that practicing momentum. Also, I am a better lyricist/songwriter than I think probably

What I would like to do in 2022: Figure out regular practicing methods that work for me. Write at least a few more songs. There is a very decent chance that 2022 might end up being our album year -- work towards that. I think I need to share my music more to feel better about it, because I am my own worst critic so.... do that. On tumblr or on streams or even at more concerts if they’re possible. Also, if it’s possible, I really want to play in an ensemble by the end of the year. That probably means thinking about an audition, which terrifies me, but... I should try to bite that bullet. Maybe.

Of course there are other things I want to work on, but I think my school/mental health/interpersonal goals are a very different beast, to be handled differently. Mostly I wanted to look at three of the hobbies I invested in most this year in various ways & that made me happy (or sometimes did, at least), beacause oh boy were they one of the things that carried me through this last year, and I’d like for them to keep doing that. Creating is really important to me. I want to keep and get even better at creating.

[ammy246]

RWBY x DCU Crossover

I have a unique idea for a fanfic that I want to share with you all, because I want you to tell me what kind of stuff you want to see in it. If I get enough inspiration for this fic, I will write more of it, and may even post it, so please say something if you are interested! You are free to write fics or make fanart based on this if you want. I want to see this idea come to life, whether it is my own doing, or someone else’s. Please send me a link to your work if you happen to get inspired enough to create something. This story would be a RWBY x DCU crossover called “From Shadows” that would focus on Adam Taurus after he died in Volume 6. He would he sent to the DCU by the God of Light so he could have a second chance at life, and wind up in Gotham City where he ends up meeting Red Hood, and working together with him.

I want to make these two work together, because they actually have quite a few similarities. They are both vengeful against those who led to their demise (Jason- his family and the criminals, Joker specifically) (Adam- Blake and Yang, along with other faunus who betrayed him, and humans who hurt him) and in this story, they both died and came back to life. Jason has problems with his family who have a different outlook on Gotham City than his own that resulted in his death, and Adam has a grudge against Blake for rejecting him because of his violence against humans.

Adam is trapped in a world he knows nothing about, so after Red Hood asks Adam to join him, he does so, even though he hates Red Hood since he is a human. Red Hood wishes to use Adam’s skills to help him eliminate Gotham City’s criminally insane once and for all, and Adam goes along with it as an excuse to take his rage out on humans, since it is the closest thing to revenge he can get now that he is in another world, and will most likely never see Blake again.

Red Hood is impressed by Adam’s combat skills (specifically his semblance and unique weapon) and requests Adam’s assistance in battle frequently. However, he is concerned that Adam is a ticking time-bomb and remembers how he was when he first returned to the dead from the Lazarus Pit, so he decides to help introduce Adam more to the world as Jason Todd in hopes that he can at least co-exist with the non-criminals, so he doesn’t get lost in his rage, and become a criminal that Red Hood has to put down. Jason introduces Adam to various people he knows in and outside of being Red Hood as a hope to achieve this. As a result, Adam slowly begins to understand that humans suffer just like he does even if they didn’t go through what he did, and he starts killing criminals in order to protect them so they don’t end up like him, not just for his revenge.

The Batfamily would also be very valid since they don’t approve of Red Hood’s methods, so Adam ends up right in the center of their drama, especially since he is what they refer to as a meta, and Batman does not want metas in Gotham, especially ones that kill. However, he can’t kill them since that would alert the Justice League which would be very bad, so he has to learn how to fight those he despises without killing them.

To Adam’s surprise, he actually ends up getting close to Jason. Jason is what he wished Blake would be: the partner he could always count on to be by his side. It is because of this that he stands up to Jason’s family, since he doesn’t want to lose the only one he is close to in this new world. Jason appreciates Adam being by his side, because Adam is not only his equal, but someone who understands what he has been through, and someone who is not afraid to end criminals once and for all, instead of letting them go.

This fic could potentially end up really long given how extensive the DCU is. There are so many characters that could be introduced. There are a decent amount of deceased characters in RWBY as well, so it’s possible some would make an appearance in this story. I could do so much with this, which is one of  the main reasons I asked what kind of stuff you would like to see in this.

[disgustingtrash]

God of war thought vomit

Pls don’t bully me for all of my half baked

“ theories “ or my HORRID spelling...

Why did the giants break the Atreus healing/killing kratos drawing so much? Change of prophecy? Faye not wanting to accept it ? Thor was at the giants place and ruined wanting to take kratos life for himself? Most of the drawing is ruined and we can’t see what else is to happen beside Atreus healing/killing Kratos. Not only is most of the drawing ruined but it is also COVERED!!! It’s covered by a curtain. Why? Why would whoever ruined the drawing want to cover it up? A change in fate so last minute the giants tried destroying the evidence but they were rushed for some reason and covered hoping no one would find it? Why is it covered!!!!! Another thing , the door that leads to the highest peak. That bit is smashed in , so I assume the room was just a room maybe for worship or was created by Faye to tell a story. At some point tho the door is created and we miss the part that is smashed in. The part is smashed for a door, than why is the Atreus kill/heal part also smashed? For what purpose? Every other part of the mural is fine beside a few non interfering cracks but the kill/heal is almost all gone. Another door to somewhere? Hidden secrets perhaps

Atreus and Kratos healing drawing. Healing? Is Atreus donating some of his own soul to his father to revive him? Or is Atreus stealing kratos’ soul?

We fight freya in her Valkyrie form! Talks about how she wants her wings back, and how much she wants to kill kratos. Maybe if kratos kills thor she gets real pissed and talks w Odin saying that if she gets her wings back she can kill kratos.

The giants called Faye their guardian and she would “ return” in their time of need but she didn’t really guard or protect shit. shit. Maybe her ashes will revive the giants since they were all glittery. The return of Faye could also mean just re uniting with her people as ashes. Could as be that she left the guardian of giants role bc she chose a life with kratos hence the argument with the giants. OR could also be the guardian of giants with Atreus , who is part giant and will let the giant race live on.

Kratos killed the sisters of fate in his own land, he can change his fate how ever he wants. Kratos is not of Norse decent so he is not bound by the fate everyone there is ( if fate does exist in cold ppl world ) , perhaps fate of Norse lands did not expect Kratos who is not bound to their rules of life progression. Kratos can fuck up Norse mythology however he wants.

What if Faye was the one who made all the drawings in the ending room? We know she knew that they got there since her gold pathing is on the rocks. Nowhere BUT in the end is kratos mentioned, I would think some random god from another land fucking everything up would be very important to write down somewhere but it isn’t. Unless I’ve missed lore , the only place kratos is told of is in the ending drawings. Maybe the giants did not see kratos coming , and only Faye knew? The room is opened with all the carvings made by the dead giants , maybe Faye was the last and when she got to the giants land she tore down the past depictions of ragnork and re made them to include kratos since he did make ragnork happen like 100 winters early or something like that. This would explain the broken wall where kratos is seen held in the lap of Atreus. She was making the drawings in a rush and couldn’t complete the rest of the wall.

Pls go to the end of this specific “ theory “ I kinda debunked it 😔😔

Can tyre time travel??? I feel like I should remember something like this :/ In tyre tomb we see the Greek pot with kratos depicted on it , him and the blades. So I’m gonna guess this is by the time kratos is the new god of war ( 28 yrs old according to the wiki ) and ppl r worshiping him ( like how they worship all gods). If Tyre was alive when kratos was the god of war surely Tyre must’ve been young when he died since kratos is like what? 50? And Atreus is 10 or 12? So all of the messy shit must’ve happened when kratos was traveling to Norse lands. But that dosent make sense since everything is talked about as if it was forever ago. So... did kratos time travel??? Bc in game he thinks time travel is crazy but is somehow around for all dis other shit. Tyre being able to time Tavel dosent explain how kratos is so young in GOW4. Just remember kratos IS super fucking old and cannot die from old age despite not being immortal. If I remember right Zeus was like “fuck you

* stab *, now you aren’t immortal lmao “ .

:/ now this “ theory “ is very dumb, pls ignore 😌 don’t wanna remove tho so I can come back incase something else is reviled

Not really a theory , but I think Atreus is gonna have a good/ hero type arc. A lot of people r making it out for him to be evil and that makes a ton of sense seeing real Norse mythology, but I think kratos will be a better dad and instill some yummy good people traits into Atreus. This has no evidence which is why I’m not calling it a theory!

About the actual giant drawing itself , what if kratos is putting something into Atreus instead of Atreus bestowing something upon kratos? What if Kratos is giving up his life for Atreus? Not likely since the body is very weak obv .Another thought , what if Atreus is sharing knowledge with the corpse who I’m assuming is kratos even tho my only evidence is 1- Atreus sad and 2- beard. OOO what if kratos is gifting Atreus his god powers? Making Atreus Loki and the god of war( I guess the Greek god of war but beside the point ). So the world servant is Loki’s son. And the drawing kinda looks like the world serpent even though I believe it’s words and not a snake let me throw some shit out there. What if this is not kratos ( or is idc ) and Atreus is using the body as a vessel to birth the world snake? Maybe stealing the persons life to bring about the ending or ragnork in the form of snake ?

It might not be kratos on da wall. The skirt color is off , looks like he’s kinda wearing an eye patch ( unless his eyes were gauged out ) , and his missing foot. But you go “ it was smashed out! We can see it!” Perhaps not. If you look at the leg , the smashed bit is LINED!!! His missing leg is definite and inked , unlike the arm which was smashed out since it lacks the defining outline. I don’t know of anyone with a missing leg or is super close with Atreus that he’d be crying over it tho. Also , on the farther leg from us , it looks like on the inner thigh there is a tattoo, unless this is like a pouch idk if Kratos is hiding a sexy sexy leg tat. To add , we never see kratos shirtless in GOW4 , or without shoes or pants and in the drawing he’s both pantless , shoeless and shirtless.

This is also not a theory , just over thinking. What if Atreus never turned out to be a warrior? What if he took more of tyres path gathering knowledge and not fighting skill. Would kratos still love him? Faye WAS a warrior. Atreus eventually becomes very useful and is super strong by the end of the game since we murdered baulder together. But like... what if Atreus just didn’t? Does kratos love Atreus cause he’s his son or because he becomes capable? Ik I’m digging to far In but I love hurting myself with ‘ what if’s ‘.

[gwendolynlerman]

hi, do you how any idea how to relearn a language? well, not exactly relearn since i've never actually known it fluently; i have really decent but receptive knowledge of french. i know the meaning of most words and i can read pretty much everything but i don't really know any grammar and also i "can't" really say anything. like, i'd understand a lot but if i were about to say it i wouldn't know how to. nonetheless apps like duolingo are too easy for me, i rarely make mistakes. what can i do? ty!

Hi!

To me, it sounds like we have a similar “problem”, because my knowledge of Russian resembles what you wrote about French. I have self-studied it for around 3 years, so I have a decent amount of vocabulary and I can understand most written Russian, but my oral skills (listening and speaking) are basically non-existent and my grammar is also not very good.

I’m currently taking an A2.1 course in college, so my first recommendation would be to do a comprehensive language placement test that tests all four skills (listening, reading, speaking, and writing) to find out where you’re exactly at.

Then, ideally you should work with a tutor to reinforce the areas you’re weaker in, in your case, speaking and grammar. If this is not possible, you could try enrolling in a course, but bear in mind that your progress will be slower, because the other students might have different issues and/or a different level than you do in some skills. This is an issue I’m having right now: my other fellow students are either more advanced than me because they grew up in a Russian-speaking household so their oral skills are great, or almost complete beginners, so I sometimes get bored when the teacher explains really basic concepts to them.

If taking regular classes is too expensive or inconvenient for you, you can always use apps or websites. What I was doing before taking this course was using Mango Languages, which covers all four skills. You can choose any course for whichever level you. I don’t exactly know what the free version offers compared to the premium one, but I’m sure you can find the premium app for free somewhere on the Internet.

Another amazing resource is Lawless French, which offers free grammar explanations with examples for levels A0 to C1 and quizzes to test each individual area. I believe there is a placement test after you register which recommends what level you should take, but you can also choose whichever level you want, so maybe you could skip the most basic lessons and go directly to those that are the most problematic for you. The downside is that there are no listening, writing or speaking activities and that the free version only includes 10 quizzes a month. To complement it, you could do a language tandem using iTalki, Tandem or any other app. In this way, you teach someone a language you are fluent in and in exchange they can teach you French.

I hope this was useful!

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you want more advice or have any doubt :)

[random-thought-depository]

Also, from Brett Devereaux’s latest Dothraki horde essay that I just posted about:

“This isn’t actually much of a surprise. Martin has been pretty clear that he doesn’t like the kind of history we’re doing here. As he states:

“I am not looking for academic tomes about changing patterns of land use, but anecdotal history rich in details of battles, betrayals, love affairs, murders, and similar juicy stuff.”

That’s an odd position for an author who critiques other authors for being insufficiently clear about their characters’ tax policy (what does he think they are taxing, other than agricultural land use?). Now, I won’t begrudge anyone their pleasure reading, whatever it may be. But what I hope the proceeding analysis has already made clear is that it simply isn’t possible to say any fictional culture is ‘an amalgam’ of a historical culture if you haven’t even bothered to understand how that culture functions. And it should also be very clear at this point that George R. R. Martin does not have a firm grasp on how any of these cultures function.

Once again, Martin has instead constructed this culture out of stereotypes of nomadic peoples.”

Ouch! This is a harsh dunk, but it’s also an insight into how to write speculative fiction that I’m going to take to heart. Well, I mean, it parallels thoughts and the approach I already have. Reading this makes me feel better about having the artistic process I have.

I know it sounds arrogant to think I’d do better than a famous and very successful big name author, but reading these essays I can’t help thinking that I’d have handled that stuff better. Like, at least before writing extensively about a steppe nomad culture I’d Google things like “what did the Mongols eat?” To be fair, I think ASoIaF was started in, like, the ‘90s, when it wasn’t so easy to just Google stuff, but still, I like to think stuff like “how did historical precedents for this culture get their food?” would be things I’d look into a bit before sitting down to write.

To also be fair, I have the opposite problem of spending like 90% of my time “worldbuilding” and taking forever to get around to actually writing anything. Maybe I should be more like George R.R. Martin! He‘s clearly doing something right!

But on the other hand, I think I do better work for actually thinking about stuff like this. Like, here’s another quote from Mr. Devereaux’s latest essay:

“But that leads into the larger problem, which comes out quite clearly in how Martin has carelessly separated the shepherds and the nomads into separate cultures living side-by-side. As we’ve discussed, that’s wrong: the shepherds and the fearsome riders were the same people. But Martin has stripped away not just the shepherding from the Dothraki, but also the cheese-making and wool cleaning and so on – after having already, as we saw last week, also stripped away the artistry, creativity and artisinal skill. His Dothraki don’t do anything as whimpy as herding sheep – something they regard as unmanly because of course they do – they kill the sheep (with arrows, which just makes it a double waste for every shaft that breaks or tip that is lost) and leave them to rot, like (very stupid) badassess.

He has stripped the Dothraki of every part of a Steppe nomads life, except the barbaric violence. And in so doing, he has taken one of only a handful of non-white cultures that we really meet and get a real taste of (rather than merely passing through) and reduces it from a complex culture which grows and nurtures and conserves (but also kills and destroys – we’re not going to don any rosy glasses about the violence of nomads here – that discussion is coming) into a pure vehicle of violent destruction, offering nothing of redeeming value.”

Like ... right now I’m planning out a story I intend to write in January; it’s supposed to be a kind of deconstruction of the Fremen mirage, and very much one of the thoughts going into it is “yo, a Proud Warrior Race would be a horrible society to live in or have as neighbors, we shouldn’t romanticize them!” and yet ... I feel that the “bad guy” culture in it is much better, from a literary viewpoint, for me having given some thought to the material base of their society and how that would shape their culture. I could have just written them as flat edgelordy-grimdark barbarians, but thinking about their culture in materialist terms gave me a more complex and nuanced picture that I think will make for a more interesting and nuanced story and a fictional society that feels more interesting and human and alive.

And to be really fair ... I think if I have an advantage over George R.R. Martin writing in the ‘90s, it’s partly from reading essays like this; because I was shaped by a geek culture that very much appreciates good worldbuilding and that is full of advice about it (of varying levels of quality, but lots of it is at least decent, and there’s a lot of it). If I do better, much of the credit belongs to the people I’ve interacted with and the people whose thoughts I’ve read and listened to over the years. “If we can see farther, it is because we stand on the shoulders of giants” very much seems to apply. Except I don’t like that quote because I think it’s too implicitly elitist; “giants” implies a few outsize individuals. I think it’s more accurate to say that if we see farther it’s because we stand at the top of an enormous human pyramid; it’s not about any particular person, it’s that we reap the benefit of enormous collective efforts. And that enormous human pyramid dynamic exists in science and government and morality and so on just as much as it exists in writing science fiction and fantasy novels.

Side note: it was informative to learn that the big Mongol food animal was sheep (or at least that’s the impression Mr. Devereaux’s essay gave me). I knew Eurasian steppe nomads primarily relied on domesticated animals other than horses for food, but I never had a very clear picture of what animals, and I kind of vaguely thought it was cattle (I guess cattle-herding nomads were more of a thing in Africa and I just kind of assumed Eurasian steppe nomads worked the same way).

Side note 2: seconding a comment somebody with the username “Roxana” left on that essay; if Mr. Martin wanted something plausible-ish that would still make the Dothraki look all macho and badass, a good way to do it would have been to loosely base them on North American horse-riding bison-hunting cultures and have them hunt some sort of terrifying badass fantasy megafauna.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Italy brings the rock’n’roll youth of tomorrow to Rotterdam 2021

It’s the final day of doing my yet again botched attempt at a review series and I’ve been dying to post my gigantic write-up for my newly beloved Italy, at the top of the bookies, darling of all hearts, ready to rock Eurovision, and even more! Vai vai~

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Representing them this year is Måneskin, a band made up of four - singer and possibly the hottest motherfucker to grace the planet Earth Damiano, guitarist Thomas, drummer Ethan, and the cherry on top - bassist Victoria, whose half-Danish heritage is the reason Måneskin is called Måneskin (= Moonshine). They thought of this name at a “battle of the bands” that they won, thinking they might as well change it to something different, but in the end... say it with me now

They have known each other since highschool, made a band in 2016, won the “battle of the bands”, started out making a living as buskers in the streets of Rome, from which they gradually grew through playing small gigs, and later tried out for X Factor Italia season 11, on which they came 2nd.

They went on to release an EP titled after their debut single of the name of the song above, including some of their X Factor covers, and later on got to get big through releasing an album, getting it certified all kinds of goodnesses, having singles from that album be popular, even releasing a documentary of themselves... they’ve done so much in life and they’re only 20-22 years old... aw man, the life is just ahead of them, for them to be so young and win Sanremo on their first try. (And I’ve always wanted them for Eurovision ever since I was aware of their existence, because their music is very nice, and they just feel like charming human beings. So imagine my joy seeing them announced for Sanremo 2021? And them WINNING months later??? man what kind of luck do I have even if just for a year lmao <333)

“Zitti e buoni”, the last song title alphabetically this year, is purely of the band’s making, and the lyrics are talking about not abiding the rules in general, how they’re out of their minds but they’re not like “them”, and how people talk but don’t know what they’re talking at all.

REVIEW

IT’S A PRETTY CRAZY GOOD ROCK SONG AMEN HALLELUJAH OPRAH WOOOOOOO

wbk I love it. Yeah sure it might be composited of something that sounds like standard rock riffs and what not, but it’s the ENERGY that goes into it that gets me more excited for this than for Finland, a fellow rock song of this year’s final.

Damiano’s vocals have the specific kind of rockstar tinge to them, and they’re very complimenting to the song. The way he says everything is beautiful, the “e buonasera signore e signori” line in particular is just a moment that shows the beginning of power somehow, I don’t know. The chorus is great, eventhough it’s just one line repeated but it changes the pronoun each time (going from “I’m out of my mind” to “you’re out of your mind” to “we’re out of my mind”) - MAGICAL.

And the bridge. YES, the bridge. Along with the outro it’s the best part of the song. The chord progression. The lines repeated on that bridge. The emotions going on. The delivery of the lines of the emotion. It’s a convincing little bridge, to the point that it sounds just as great with violins! Wish they brought one, because according to Love Love Peace Peace, nothing screams winner quite like a violin.

God damn to the Måneskinsters pump this song up to the maximum. It was originally a ballad song, and I think that’s for the better for them to present it as a rock song, because a Sanremo ballad in a pool of Sanremo ballads... unless it stands out according to demoscopic & press juries, and there seems to be a no better option at hand that could make them stand out other than just sending a classy ballad, it just fizzles out in a spectacularly lame fashion. Måneskin’s one real shot through was with a song that would make them stand out, and they did it, and they’re here.

Everyone has put in their work, their passion, their skills into this, and it shows off in spades. Måneskin themselves are fantastic and chill human beings, who too, just like Flo Rida, get to enjoy how crazy amazing Eurovision experience is. And for that I salute them with my whole heart. Whatever they do tonight on Eurovision, they’ll leave a lasting mark in it. And for a good reason.

Also an Italian Eurovision edit that doesn’t suck, once again, yay! (In their defense, they didn’t have a whole lot to work with, so they released theirs early - just a few trimmings here and there, and a lyric change so that they skate by EBU easier with their anti-swearing policies. Gahddamn swearing~)

Approval factor: FUCK YES Follow-up factor: The funny thing about this is that last year their entry is about making noise but the song was a love ballad, this year it’s a song titled “shut up and behave” while dressed in a loudest motherfucking musical setting lol. Fuck the rules! It was solely on the Sanremo’s last year’s winner Diodato not to send an entry he thought that would fit for Sanremo, and that’s good on him - he can return next year replenished as all hell, and maybe aim for the trophy again? wishful thinking? aaaa. Anyway on a personal scale “Zitti e buoni” is a marvelous follow-up from “Fai rumore”, even if skipping 2020 entirely, especially after “Soldi”, which was already a fab follow-up after “Non mi avete fatto niente”, and even from “Occidentali’s Karma” on. And so it is subjectively a good follow-up. Italy SLAYS. AQ factor: As I write this, the odds are very much in their favour, if not a little bit too persuaded over the fact that Måneskin gave a good rock performance and knew what they would be doing, or it’s just that the Italians like overbetting for their acts way too damn much. But nevertheless, I just wanna hope for them to break the expectations people set on rock songs in Eurovision and SMASH themselves a victory. Or a top 2. Or a top 5-10. Anything will do, goddamn.

NF CORNER

Well, I promised that I will talk about Sanremo in a NF corner, because this is the first year I actually cared to watch it myself, unlike when I would’ve sided with someone whose reviewing style I love in not caring to watch it, and usually just check all the songs on the last day lol.

One thing about Sanremo that I sorely underestimate is that a handful of artists on there can come across as very versatile, and the one song you loved of one genre they presented several years ago, can be completely different and leave you baffled for days if you’re not very familiarized with their discography and the Italian music scene in general. Which now I’m going to pay an extreme amount of attention towards following Sanremo 2022 on out because hot damn did I never see gems like Willie Peyote coming!

Did I call him a gem over his entry? Yes, somehow. Am I even sure if I’m being serious?

I think I can somewhat agree when I say that for the international fam watching Sanremo at least, “Mai dire mai (La locura)” was a major expectation destroyer, at least for the crowd whose main lookouts in a lineup like this years were Ermal Meta, Annalisa, Arisa, etc. You know they’re gonna bring a ballad, and their ballads are usually decent, but what about the unexpected? That’s where a handful of acts, including Willie, comes in for me. The bass hooks in the second the song starts. The beat is minimalistic but strong enough to slap. The steady rap flow is mesmerizing, paired with that somewhat specifically Italian(?) vocal timbre. The chorus is greatly catchy, and it is a sung chorus, with this song still being largely a rap song. The electric-esque guitar soundwaves interspersed throughout the song are magnificent and magical, and on the chorus they even make a constant melody riff that repeats and may get annoying on multiple listens, but I still adore them. I really love the bridge as well and all that goes into it. A fantastic surprise of the season for me personally.

Now I figure that the lyrics may hinder the enjoyment for some, especially the points raised in some lines that may seem questionable and shady (if this went to Eurovision and got a “twerking” comment on Youtube, I will not be surprised if the description of choice is “patriarchic twerking”), but am I supposed to be fully offended at some points of it if I’m not its target audience, although I see some of what I do nowadays in those lines? “Mai dire mai” is probably dedicated to the Italian media and the Italian trends and what not. I’m not even disappointed it didn’t win, because if it went to Eurovision, it would’ve likely been met like a lesser “Occidentali’s Karma” - catchy song with lyrics that fly over listener’s heads which might as well be very accidentally mocking how we live our lives.

“Mai dire mai” has just less of a memorability-in-history value and no memorable gimmicks (Francesco had a gorilla, what is it visually going for on Willie’s performance?), besides, it would’ve suffered even WORSE post-Eurovision-edit than OK has - a lot of the bits and bobs that pass me by but when I notice them they make a really great entry, but other than the (presumably copyrighted) removal of a sample from a TV series (spoken by a fish character, nonetheless), what else is there to remove???? With Eurovision’s rules specifying that brands (Spotify, TikTok) and swearwords (lots of the good old Italian ones that Italian radios would digitally scratch out to emphasize that there were a LOT in the second verse) can’t be sung live, the song loses some of its lyrical charm. And you can’t just go around the song like Francesco Gabbani chopping off entire verses full of content full of witty lyrics and a reference to Chanel in order to present the more lyrically singable-along-to lines and not let go of the long chorus to whom his gorilla can dance to. “Mai dire mai” is RIFE with lyrics, that’s what a rap song is. It would have absolutely fallen apart.

Also no one paged it as a potential Eurovision winner during Sanremo, at least seriously, and it doesn’t have much that would have clicked with the future Eurovision generation and contestants when they would be asked to name their favourite Eurovision song of all times. In a world where from Italy they really like “Grande amore” and “Soldi” and even sometimes could name “Occidentali’s Karma”, is there really a place for “Mai dire mai (La locura)” over “Zitti e buoni”? Who would be naming that song as their favourite of all time? If you raised a hand, you lie to yourself, because that would’ve been me.

Now I don’t know how many of the Tumblr fam would draw ire at me putting out paragraphs worth of me being ultra positive towards this song, because as I’ve learned, there’s an ironic and unironic audience for Mr. Peyote on Tumblr especially, but for me I guess it was pretty worthy, also a thing I was finally able to yell off my chest since, and now I finally said it, I will continue streaming “Mai dire mai (La locura)” in peace.

He might’ve not won Sanremo, but his song won the equally important Mia Martini Critics Award, and also, my heart. Rest in broken shards of the Boris aquarium, my sweet cynical prince~

Måneskin were my 2nd after him so I’m equally happy they won. But what about my other favourites?

• Extraliscio ft. Davide Toffolo - Bianca luce nera A diluted version of the liscio genre, still makes for a very fascinatingly catchy and swaying song with lots of great instruments that are violins and a clarinet. What I figure is kinda a love song. Their performances were also great, with lots of dancers on stage and a genuinely great fun to be had, and you may remember them more after their performance in cover night, which was titled “Rosamunda”. They were the ones with their main singer’s guitar spinning for whatever reason that was there to make their song catchy, I guess.

• Lo Stato Sociale - Combat Pop A little bit of a far cry from their glory heydays with 2nd place in Sanremo 2018, but they returned with an equally banging song and an amazing set of performance chaos they brought in each and every time - dedicating their first night’s one to making a performance to not forget (and being the ones of two to reference the great Bugo&Morgan incident from last year, the other being Willie Peyote), the second competitive one was for referencing politics, and so on.

• Colapesce & Dimartino - Musica leggerissima Sweet melancholic song with the shades of Sebastien Tellier kinda sound, this song may seem jolly at first, but the especially melancholic undertones denote that there’s something else going on. It’s actually about depression, as that’s what the term “musica leggerissima” (very light music) means. But it still found a heart in Italian listeners and the Italian world finally woke up to how great Antonio Di Martino and Lorenzo “Colapesce” Urciullo are, and a handful of viewers were slightly heartbroken to see it not place in the superfinal top 3. Who knows if they would’ve actually won over Måneskin. I just know that their rollerskater girlie is so damn fine~

Bugo has also returned but I think his redemption arc started off the wrong foot, as his return entry, “E invece si”, was a bloated showtune ballad and got obnoxious to listen to at part. I declared to myself that night when I first heard the new entry that regarding on what made “Sincero” great, I side with Morgan.

And a special shout out to Ghemon, whose 2019 song was more than just a “purple rose” unlike I noted on a last proper Italian entry review. I don’t know what expectations I had for him, but I certainly wanted to love “Momento perfetto” more at the first listen, which was also somewhat of a show-tuney piece, but with a bit more funk and pizzazz, also Ghemon was VERY much vibing with his song, and that made me feel great for the few other performances of it that I saw the following days. It’s definitely a grower song, and around 2 months after Sanremo I fell into a bit of a rabbit-hole of his earlier music discovering, and I may be a bit exaggerating but, give Ghemon a bit more of acknowledgement and a stellar enough song, and with a little bit of magic touch, I can maybe see him lifting the Golden Lion trophy one day. Don’t ask why. (also lovely music video for his 2021 entry, which replaces continuous spinning in an aesthetic area to everybody moving their body in a diner (hopefully with everyone in the MV tested and been negative for long enough for the MV to actually happen).)

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

There’s so much needed to be discussed about there. So I’ll restrict myself to the moments that I remember and cherish:

• Rosario Fiorello. Just. Him.

• And the gentleman next to him, Achille Lauro.

tw // body piercing

Belarus 2018 could never

Fiorello and Lauro are perfect matches to each other’s worlds of imagination, and I was more than ever glad to see so much creativity coming from each one of them, a host and a nightly interval act respectively.

• Once again, “Rosamunda Medley” by Extraliscio, I didn’t watch the cover night in its entirety but I think it’s good enough of a medley if it got a 3rd place from the cover night from the orchestra!

• Sanremo Newcomers section of this year. I liked or vibed to almost every song out of the 8, and I’m decently happy with the winner, but if there’s one big shoutout I really want to make, is to “Regina” by Davide Shorty, for it’s such a cozy funky little love song that always makes me happy when I hear it. My personal winner preference, but I don’t mind Davide getting 2nd! For as long as he gets to place 1st in a future main Sanremo event hihihihihi

• Diodato proving himself to be a dance king at the beginning of his “Che vita meravigliosa” performance, my good Twitter friend made a bunch of videos where he dances to a lot of songs, as per request, check them out and you won’t forget it.

• Since Sanremo 2021 got rid of the audience as per COVID regulations and much to Amadeus’s dread, there ended up quite a handful of audience related memes. Such as the penis balloon et al.

• Remember when Sanremo 2021 audience was supposed to be whisked away in a cruise ship for safety measures? Pepperidge Farm remembers

• SESSO IBUPROFENEEEEEEEE

The guy that sang this song actually has the same birthday as me, so in my eyes, I feel like he has some charm to it. I’m biased lol sorry

There’s way too many more but I am afraid of flooding my post beyond your readability interest. Let’s hope that, in an event of Italy’s victory or non, we’ll get to see an even more iconic event of Sanremo emerge come the future. <3

ANY LAST WORDS?

Måneskin’s big goal was to rock Eurovision, and I think they’ve greatly accomplished that by just... doing what they do best, and that is, rocking. They leave energy lasting for days.

In bocca al lupo, fam. You’ll nail it, and even if you don’t win, Italy shouldn’t not hail you as national heroes after it’s all over.

[whywalkwhenyoucanride]

Regarding that post where you mentioned DnD isn't very good in the tags - do you have recommendations for systems that are good at making non violence/magic actions count? I am currently writing my own ttrpg and I want an emphasis on roleplay and complex mindgame planning for fights (as opposed to hitting your opponent a few times) but I don't know a lot of systems. If you need more info I'll DM!

my issues with dnd are twofold and interlinked. dice rolls and interaction.

any outcome based on a roll, in dnd, only has two states. success or failure. this is fine for the games primary purpose, combat. there is a story to tell in the clashing of blows. it’s even slightly “better” (nuanced) than its progenitor, war games.

but the thing is that dnd is so culturally dominating that it is the default of almost all ttrpg groups, and ive seen travesty after travesty of people frankensteining homebrew systems to get around dnds limitation instead of playing another game.

the binary outcomes of a skill check in dnd is fine in combat, because there is so much going on. you have several types of actions, and moving. there’s a lot of things to do, but dnd exists in two distinct states. adventuring mode, and combat mode. and they function very differently. success/failure being the only outcomes does not work well in the more loose and flexible adventuring mode.

for example, in the first session of me running Curse of Strahd for my friends, one person was searching a room for hidden doors. he failed his check, and thus simply could not find the critical path door.

while yes, this is a problem in the adventure design, it illustrates very well the issue with this. there isn’t a lot of leeway there. even if it’s “optional content”, it’s still just a yes or no. this is undynamic, clunky, and boring. you could set a state of DCs where higher successes mean better outcomes, but that’s not the rules as written (at least in 5e, the most popular edition).

since dnd is a combat game, focused on math that can get crunchy, spells are very specific in what they do so that they can be balanced properly. on a combat level this makes perfect sense, but outside of it it can feel limiting. can a wizard with the fireball spell create some embers in their hands they can use for warmth? not in the rules-as-written. you might think that is unimportant and handwave it, but what about using that ember in a combat situation to set fire to someone? how will you work out the damage? (not a perfect example, but you see my point).

a system like Genesys (Edge of the Empire, Force and Destiny) has custom dice that have the outcomes Success/Failure, Advantage/Threat, Triumph/Despair. If you have 1 or more successes you succeed. Advantages/Threats are modifiers on top of that success/failure binary. Triumph/Despair add other modifiers as well. for example, a computer whiz could hack into a server (Success) but trip of a security daemon that could reveal their location to the authorities (Threat). This allows for more dynamic outcomes of skill checks in a natural fashion. it’s also just a fact that more dice=more fun (shadowrun do NOT interact)

Genesys also has a “combat mode” (the game is divided up into more free flowing time and fixed time), but the game doesn’t mechanically change between those two, it’s just about taking turns or not, basically.

there are a lot of other creative ways of determining outcomes. for example, the game Star Crossed is a two-player game about two people dealing with their feelings for each other. mechanically, the game is played in intimate scenes with a jenga tower. when a player makes the tower fall, that players PC acts on their emotions.

this was very rambly despite being a second draft i hope that kinda answered decently

[segersgia]

Looking back: Part 3 - Craftworld Aeldari

The Psychic Awakening event was kind of a disappointment. Nothing really major happened within these books and the focus of most of them involved stories about Space Marines. The Xenos factions got it very bad in most of these books, but none as bad as all of the Aeldari.

I feel so sorry for what Aeldari players have to deal with in the hobby. Most of your range is either still in finecast or in metal, and you haven’t had a major model release in about 8 years. The entire Craftworld range definitely needs an update.

I must be honest; I don’t care that much about the Aeldari. I’ve never been particularly interested in elven races, save those that go full ahead with the nature aspect. This is why I prefer the Wood Elves and Exodites, over races like the High Elves or the Lumineth Realmlords. 

So I will put a disclaimer on this post; Aeldari lore is not my strong suit. In fact, I find it sometimes quite confusing. I might make mistakes or misinterpret the lore of these units. I hereby apologize for this. 

Let’s begin...

Spiritseer:

Aeldari Spiritseers are Warlocks specialized in the preservation and care of Aeldari souls. They are the ones that guide Aeldari spirits inside of Wraith Constructs. In some way, you could call them a form of necromancer.

They walk the “Path of the Seer”; one of the most dangerous Paths for the Aeldari to walk. On this path, they develop their psychic abilities and learn how to control them. They’ve also (if I’m correct about this at least) previously walked the “Path of the Warrior”, which gave them the necessary experience to control their impulses and emotions.  

This Spiritseer got released alongside the Wake the Dead box-set, which pitted the Spiritseer Qelnaris and the forces of Saim-Hann, against the Ultramarines. I can’t find what the conclusion of this battle was, but guessing from the way that the Eldar have been treated this edition, I would say they probably got stomped by the Ultramarines.

Normally, this Spiritseer is not something specifically to write home about, as he looks as you would expect a Spiritseer to look like. However, looking back upon their older model, I can see that this new version is quite an improvement. The pose is way better and the proportions seem to have been fixed in this version. 

My favourite thing about this model is the mask. I love when Eldar in any form look otherworldly and alien, and these domed masks work perfectly for that. 

8/10

Howling Banshees:

Howling Banshees are a form of Aspect Warrior; Aeldari who walk the “Path of the Warrior”. As an Aspect Warrior, the Howling Banshees embody a certain aspect of Khaine, the God of Murder. Specifically, the aspect of aggressive close quarters combat.

As the name would imply, their Aspect is inspired by the mythical Banshees, who, with their wails and cries, heralded doom and death.  

They go into battle carrying Shuriken Pistols and Power Weapons (mostly swords), and they certainly know how to use them. Howling Banshees are freakishly fast and precise, but what makes them unique is their Sonic weaponry. The mask they wear is called a Banshee Mask, and it amplifies their war-cries into some sort of psychic screech. Those that hear this become disoriented and paralyzed because their nervous system can’t handle this amount of psychic energy. 

The Howling Banshees are what I think of first when someone mentions Eldar. It would only be fair that they became the first Aspect to be updated. From what I see, it doesn’t disappoint so far. They remain faithful to the source material and the poses are overall better compared to their predecessors. They also have a more decent proportioned waste now. 

The inclusion I most of all like is the separate Aspect Relic, and I believe it is an effigy depicting Morai-Heg, The Crone Godess. The website encourages you for using it as an objective marker. I love it when the designers give us these little extra’s that can be used as set pieces. I hope every new Aspect Warrior gets a symbol like this in the future. 

9/10

Howling Banshee Exarch:

Exarchs are Aspect Warriors who specifically have become lost and trapped within the “Path of the Warrior” and become the High Priests/Guardians over their specified Aspect Shrine. Think of them as teachers who train their squad in the way of their Aspect.

Their armour is more ornate than the rest of their squad and they’ve forgone their Shuriken Pistol in favour of going fully melee focused. They then can carry either two Mirror-Swords, an Executioner Power-Glaive or, they can mimic their Phoenix Lord and carry a Triskele (the three pointed boomerang-thingie). Their overall skill- and power-level is way above that of anyone, probably capable of dueling the best warriors that the Imperium could throw at them (if GW wouldn’t be so biased in their campaign books).

The Exarch kit contains a seperate head that doesn’t wear the mask. This apparently is an Ynnari Exarch, who walks a way different path than that of the Craftworld Eldar. I can’t find much information about this, but it is at least interesting that the Ynnari don’t need to wear their War-masks.

I’ve seen discussions and complaints about the way that the maskless face looks and let’s just say a few things.

Men can become Howling Banshees, though will still wear the same type of Aspect Armour (which includes the breast plate).

Women don’t need to look feminine when they are actively at war, and it doesn’t make them any less feminine.

If the Mechanicus can have non-binary members, then the Aeldari most certainly can have them as well. 

These are technically part of the Howling Banshee kit, so the same points can be applied to these two. I do think that the Glaive looks way better on this model than the Mirror-swords. The Exarch looks a little “out-of-balance” when dual wielding. I did wish though that they got some more weapon options. The Triskele isn’t in the kit, and I also saw a concept piece for an Eldar Power-Axe, which the Aeldari just deserve to have in their arsenal. Give Howling Banshees Power Axes. That would look so cool.

8/10

Jain Zar:

Phoenix Lords are by far some of the most ancient and powerful members of the Aeldari race. They were former Exarchs who have fought for so long, that they don’t have an Aspect Shrine or Craftworld left to protect. Instead, they wander from Craftworld to Craftworld and arrive to fight alongside their kin when the need arises the most. 

Whenever a Phoenix lord falls in battle, their soul is transported inside of the spirit stone of the suit. Then, another Eldar warrior will don the suit and become possessed by the original Phoenix lord. Most Phoenix lord armour contains the souls of dozens of Eldar, all who’ve sacrificed their lives in order to resurrect their respective Phoenix Lord.

Jain Zar is of course the Phoenix Lord of the Howling Banshees. In fact, she is the founder of her Aspect and according to legend, became the first Exarch. This makes her the second Phoenix Lord to come into existence, with the first being Asurmen. She is considered one of the most active Phoenix Lords to roam the galaxy and has an active hatred for Chaos. After the rise of the Ynnari, she became one of the biggest advocates of their cause.

Jain Zar carries the Jainas Mor and Zhai Morenn. The Jainas Mor is the Three bladed Triskele, which is “Sharper than any mortal blade”. The Zhai Morenn is her Power-Glaive, and it is a relic from before the Fall of the Eldar. Her Banshee Mask was the first of its kind and every Banshee mask that has followed is a copy of hers.

During the Psychic Awakening, Jain Zar protected Yvraine from Drazhar and pursued him. This proved fatal and got her sliced in two.  A new Exarch donned the armour and Jain Zar was reborn. She then got a rematch with Drazhar and became victorious. Eventually the infamous battle of Iathglas happened, where she, together with Yvraine and the Visarch barely managed to defeat a HOLOGRAM?!? of Shalaxi Hellbane. (goddamnit Geedubs).

Jain Zar’s new model is such an improvement over her older one that I am excited to see what any of the other Phoenix Lords might look like in the future. I love her proportions, her pose, her appearance... everything is so good. I’m not even bothered by the hair and I don’t care that it is too long or impractical in combat. 

One thing I would’ve preferred though is that they would’ve kept her original paint scheme. I prefer the black/red paint scheme over the white/red one. I get why they changed it, because it fits better with the scheme of her Aspect.

10/10

--------

While the Craftworlds didn’t get much this edition, what they did get has been very good. I’m excited for what may come in the future for the Aeldari.

Games Workshop. Could you just make more Eldar models? People have been begging you to update them for over a decade now. Listen to them. Most of the Aeldari range is still finecast or metal. 

Next up: Primaris Vanguard Infantry

previous posts: Primaris Mainline Infantry, Death Guard Infantry

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Wanna Feel Old? Here's 10 Anime That Turned 10 This Year!

  Time flies when you're having fun, and in what seems like the blink of an eye a decade can come and go before you know it. At the time of this writing, the year 2010 was ten years ago. It was a great year for anime in many respects, but with the blazing speed with which new seasonal anime offerings pass through fandom's public consciousness, it can be difficult to realize that some of our favorite modern anime may now be considered “vintage” or “retro” by the younger fans.

  Presented in alphabetical order, here's a short list of ten anime from the far-flung, formerly future year of 2010, compiled and curated with the express purpose of making you feel old.

  Image via Funimation

  Black Lagoon: Roberta's Blood Trail

  Aw, geez. It's really been a decade since we last got an animated version of the adventures of Rock, Revy, Dutch, Benny, and the rest of the criminals and crazies that populate the gritty city of Roanapur? Is Rei Hiroe ever going to finish the original manga? Is it still on hiatus? This set of OAVs was super dark, even by Black Lagoon standards. Maybe it's best to leave things well enough alone ...

  Black Lagoon: Roberta's Blood Trail is distributed in the United States by Funimation.

    Durarara

  My interest in this show dropped off when it began focusing more on the rivalries between Dollars and other gang organizations rather than the scythe-wielding, motorcycle-riding dullahan and the bouncer guy who's so angry that he can lob vending machines at people. But to realize Durarara is a decade old (and by extension, Baccano! is even older) makes me feel like that dude who withers up when he sips from the wrong Grail in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.

    Occult Academy

  A cool, original anime full of ghosts, psychics, aliens, time travel, and a protagonist with a sneering distaste for all of the paranormal nonsense she has to deal with on a daily basis, Occult Academy is now in the double-digits category in terms of age. It's a fun and smart little show, but realizing it's been around for a decade makes my bones ache.

    Oreimo

  A light novel adaptation with a rather specific interpretation of the phrase “keeping it in the family,” I never watched Oreimo, but I remember it being both extremely popular and extremely controversial when it was initially being streamed and broadcast. To think the flame wars this show ignited on internet message boards have now been burning for a decade or more ...

  Image via Funimation

  Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt

  In the time since Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt premiered, most of the creative talent that put Gainax on the map has moved on to form their own studios (TRIGGER, Khara, etc.) and left that once-proud company as a shell of its former self, or two shells if you count Gaina (formerly Fukushima Gainax). After ten years, there's likely no longer any hope for a sequel, but I still love the rude, crude, and lewd adventures of this pair of fallen angels. I even love the notoriously trollish ending.

  Panty & Stocking with Garter Belt is distributed in the United States by Funimation.

  Image via Funimation

  Princess Jellyfish

  I love Princess Jellyfish to death, but the thought of the Sisterhood trapped in a full decade of awkwardness and isolation thanks to their poor social skills and weird hobbies is a terrifying one indeed. Will any of them ever get a real job? Will Tsukimi find happiness despite her romantic struggles? I really ought to finish the manga to find out ...

  Princess Jellyfish is distributed in the United States by Funimation.

  Image courtesy of GKIDS © 2010 Studio Ghibli - NDHDMTW

  The Secret World of Arrietty

  Wait a minute, I saw this in the theater during its first international run. That was back when Disney was still releasing Studio Ghibli's catalog, not GKIDS. Do movie theaters even exist any more? How many more films have they released since then? Does anyone remember The Secret World of Arrietty as a perfectly decent, non-Miyazaki, non-Takata Ghibli film?

  The Secret World of Arrietty is distributed in the United States by GKIDS.

  Image via Funimation

  The Tatami Galaxy

  Unlike some other entries in this list, The Tatami Galaxy has managed several spin-offs and sequels in the ten years since Tomihiko Morimi's novel was adapted into an anime by Masaaki Yuasa and MADHOUSE. A show that can be enjoyed on its own or as a complement to The Night is Short, Walk on Girl — The Tatami Galaxy is still great fun, even if you have to imagine that after a decade or more, the main character and the Raven-Haired Girl have probably each long-since graduated from college and may well be on their second or third divorce.

  The Tatami Galaxy is distributed in the United States by Funimation.

  Image via Hulu

  Trigun: Badlands Rumble

  Hey, remember how you loved watching Trigun on Adult Swim back in the day? That was in 2003. The original Japanese broadcast was in 1998. Trigun: Badlands Rumble, the most recent animated version of Trigun, was released in 2010. That was a decade ago. I am old. You are old. We're all old. Even the young ones among us are old ...

  Trigun: Badlands Rumble is distributed in the United States by Funimation.

  Image via Funimation

  Yamada's First Time: B Gata H Kei

  After a decade of effort, I wonder how well Yamada is doing in her quest to seduce 100 handsome members of the opposite sex? Judging by her level of success in the 2010 TV anime, she's probably still working on the first vertical line in that particular tally.

  Yamada's First Time: B Gata H Kei is distributed in the United States by Funimation.

  And there you have it, a nowhere near exhaustive list of 10-year-old anime to make you feel old. 2010 was a big year, and other honorable mentions include titles like Gintama: The Movie, Sound of the Sky, and Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn, all of which are now old-school, whether we want them to be or not.

  Which titles from the year 2010 make you feel the existential horror of hearing the music you listened to in high school being played on the “classic rock” station? Let us know in the comments section below, and always remember to acknowledge the follies of youth.

      Paul Chapman is the host of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast and GME! Anime Fun Time.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features! 

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x11 discussion - burning desires of change

Hey guys, as usual, here’s my breakdown of the episode. Props to Mr. Bob Morley on his directing debut - insert applause emoji here. All in all, it was great, I enjoyed it, albeit a little weird. But it’s to be expected of a conversion episode taking us into the finale.

Like I explained in my 2nd predictions post, “Ashes to Ashes’ has Biblical connotation and it’s also a British crime drama about time traveling back to the early 80′s as well as David Bowie’s 1980 hit single about addiction.

Apart from Ash being Echo’s real name, I struggled to find the link to the title until it hit me with a wrench from behind. It’s about cycles, repetition, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (which Einstein did not say btw). Only now, it’s breaking that rotation. Demons are overcome (apart from Madi), and it’s time to do better.

Octavia’s no longer Bellamy’s responsibility, Clarke refuses to kill innocents, the children of Gabriel learn the truth, Miller disobeyed to transcend and Echo (or Ash), well, I’ll talk about her later. To Monty! Will this also be the end of the ‘will they, won’t they’ dance for Bellamy and Clarke? See my thoughts on this.

That said, let’s fall into the recap.

A child possessed

Okay, Sheidheda was a lot creepier in this episode than the previous ones. if Madi wasn’t completely overthrown before, it seems like she is now and her driving force is pure vengeance. The bond between Madi and Clarke is harder to break than diamonds, which we saw in season 5 and here again.

For six years, all they had were each other. Since the little Natblida was only six when Clarke found her, she won’t even remember her real family all that well. To Madi, Clarke was her savior, her family, her protector, her mother and basically everything else. Having such an influence taken away from you is artery-slicing.

The demon in her head knows this, plays on it and manipulates in a way an abuser lures children in with sweets. Given her age and lack of experience, she follows blindly. I have a feeling this might continue onto season 7 but I hope Raven finds a way to eliminate him. That face freaks me out. For now, he’s gonna cause a lot more damage than we anticipate and will probably be a spoil of war for the peaceful plan.

John Murphy - court jester or hero?

Yeah, he’s been a fence-sitter the entire season, but you have to admit, Murphy provides some much needed comical relief. Granted, the writers have turned up the humor via Bellamy, Clarke, and Diyoza, yet Murphy’s sarcasm should never be taken for granted. “Houdini Miller.” He might not make it to the end of the season.

If someone threatens the life of the person you love, will you protect everyone else or only that person? Ask Bellamy, he did the exact same thing. Risked the lives of everyone else to save his girl, of course Murphy will do the same. He wants to marry Emori, he’ll face hell to ensure her safety.

Still, he warns Echo in good old Cockroach fashion. Don’t let them find out I’m on your side, there’s but one side and it’s mine - and Emori’s. As long as the primes think that, he’ll have a chance of being spared. Murphy is such a great character, sure, he has deviated from being good, but that’s what makes him interesting.

The more layers and substance a character has, the more convincing and relatable they are. All of us have flaws, Murphy’s biggest one is his selfishness, does this make him a bad person? Absolutely not. He struggles and sometimes stumbles due to it but he still cares. Only the size of his heart’s in question, not the existence and it gets them out of some serious syrupy situations.

The makes of the Blakes

So, Bellamy doesn’t care about the delusional cult followers, he merely wants to save his people, to hell with the rest. In a sense, he betrayed them to rescue his love? soulmate? person? and has to make up for it. Now, Bellamy, did Monty not teach you anything?

Being so determined, he calls his sister the queen of cannibals. Killing her own people to ensure their survival. She did what she had to do, why can’t he? I didn’t know Bellamy even knew about this, why didn’t they show his reaction to finding out? Wouldn’t it have led to him cutting her some slack? He was in the exact same situation many times before. 

Probably not. His whole life has always revolved around her, everything he did was to protect his sister to the point of borderline, unhealthy codependency. Octavia was his purpose and yet she threw him in a fighting pit to die after he once again tried to save her - from herself.

Gabriel then tells Bellamy his sister is special, she returned from the greatest mystery of Sanctum. If I remember correctly, Lincoln called her special too when she was unaffected by the biological warfare. There’s more to it though, in my opinion, I still think Diyoza will return, they were both called by the anomaly, why would only O survive? That anomaly is going to be some crazy wow-factor, I’m certain.

I believe a cult won’t be too happy to find out that its leader is the exact thing they’re rebelling against. And the children of Gabriel seemed pretty pissed, especially Xavier’s sister. That is until Bellamy gives them a plan to fulfill their cause. Unfortunately for him, it means teaming up with O to find the powerful red sun toxin. For once the cultists weren’t useless!

Poor Gabriel, all he wants is peace. I thought Jordan would be a Monty reincarnator but apparently, that’s Gabriel. Or he’s more of Lincoln II? Either way, I hope he doesn’t die. Speaking of Jordan, I miss him in his recovery bed. 

Anyway, “what do you say when sorry isn’t good enough?” Despite Bellamy’s countless efforts to keep O occupied, she won’t stop breaking down the walls around his heart. Those mushrooms were strong, Bell, we saw it. Octavia’s speech was so deep, honest and touching that Bellamy’s stray tears hardly seem enough.

The way it was resolved though, is more than satisfactory. After everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t be enough development for him to simply accept what she’s done and move on. But, he’s willing to give her a chance to prove herself while no longer being the core of his world. “You’re my sister, but you’re not my responsibility, not anymore” is probably the best metamorphosis I’ve witnessed on this show. It clips the umbilical cord for both of them to emerge as individuals.

Echoes of a cold-hearted spy

So, I assume Echo protected Ryker thinking she could bank on his morality to spare her. And of course, she keeps scraping at the flesh wound. But Ryker believes saving his family keeps the peace, killing Echo saves everyone else. One life instead of thousands - it’s for the greater good, right? Wrong. The acting here was great, I was totally convinced of Ryker’s bouncing morals.

Off-topic, I completely forgot Miller used to be a thief and I’m glad we got to see his pick-pocketing skills in action. He deserves some credit and screentime, since being a part of this show for six seasons. Oh, and the transcending moment between him and Gaia was super sweet.

For a second I thought Echo would become Simone and then I remembered that she also took ALIE’s chip and they wouldn’t rehash the neural mesh storyline. Meaning my fears were quickly soothed.

Onto the important part, what was that back story supposed to mean? All I got out of it, is that Echo’s cycle isn’t broken. That leopard hasn’t changed its spots. Don’t get me wrong, it broke my heart that she had to kill her friend and resume her identity in order to survive. But, it felt like a turning point in Echo’s character that plunged her into heartlessness. Will she become that person again?

I know Echo might not be a fan favourite, but she’s really grown on me this season. She’s smart, loyal and fierce, I like her. Not Bellamy and Echo together though, I can’t see a semblance of a connection between them. And their relationship is only hurting their characters.

Why would they build her up as a great character just to show that she cares about no-one, not even her friends? I mean I get why she killed Ryker, leaving him alive was too much of a risk - he would tell Russel about her, Miller and Gaia being at large. Though that murderous glint in her eyes tells me that was purely for revenge and completely against their newfound lifestyle. Maybe I’m wrong.

I’m curious to know what being a nightblood will mean for her now and how her character might change after being held at gunpoint.

Meanwhile, Monty’s mantra rings through Clarke 

Oy, Bellamy risked everything and everyone to save Clarke and if she can’t play the part of Josephine convincingly, that was all for nothing. And our boy’s not happy about it - at all. Only, Clarke refuses a Mount Weather do-over.

I just need to mention Bellamy’s face when Murphy come’s through the tent - priceless. Then Jade finally gets a chance to knock someone out too. Yay for her!

The moment Clarke’s safe, she goes straight to Bellamy for reassurance and goodbye. Backtracking to the start of the episode, the way he flung to her side when she woke, touched and comforted her was toothachingly soft and way too intimate to be non-romantic. 

Bellamy gets this shy, ‘aw it’s nothing’ expression when Clarke thanks him for saving her life. Because to him, it really is nothing, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And while he’s making heart-eyes at his friend, his girlfriend is being prepped for a blood transplant and murder. I cannot see how there won’t be any followthrough on this. 

If there’s not, it’s altogether bad writing, showcasing and wasted potential. Right now, there’s too much going on for a decent conversation that’s years overdue and I’m hopeful they’ll get it. In the synopsis of the finale, there’s a hint at romance and I truly believe it’s theirs.

Well done Eliza! For playing Clarke and Josephine, Clarke as Josephine and vice versa. She’s an amazing actress and has come a long way from, “Stop, the air could be toxic!.” 

The woman must have been devastated when she walked in on Madi strapped to a chair, being drained for her blood. Yet, in the scheme of greater good, she acts oblivious. She plays the part of a nonchalant sociopath so well, while sparing Madi via a sedative and shifting the focus to her mind drive. 

Those newlyweds sure know how to act and direct!! Like always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, did I read the Echo backstory correctly? Till next week, bye!