#I hope I never cause someone to die because I'm a coward

[blueclownsworld]

✦✧ — "I do care." — Levi Ackerman x gender neutral reader — ✧✦

Content & possible warnings: cold Levi, gender neutral reader, Erwin as Levi's friend, arguing & insults, one-sided love, slight angst, fluff

Plot: Levi loves you, yet he pushes you away due to fear of losing you.

✦✧✧✦

"Do you ever shut up?" blunt question interrupted your passionate rambling.

"And are you ever friendly?" you asked as visible frown formed on your face. He was always like this, yet you never got used to it. He seemed to be even colder around you than the others, which made no sense to you.

"Don't get cozy with me. I'm still your captain." his eyes narrowed as he noticed frown on your face. However, it didn't make a difference to his unfriendly behaviour.

"Sorry, captain", you spit out his title like it was poison, causing his eyes to narrow further in annoyance.

"Whatever. get out, brat", he turned away from you, focusing on the pile of papers on his desk again. He payed no attention to your presence anymore, it didn't matter to him.

Once again you felt small sting in your heart. It never really stopped hurting, even though he treated you like this all the time.

✦✧✧✦

Except..

"Don't forget your jacket, idiot." Levi hissed at you and placed a jacket over your shoulders.

✦✧✧✦

It was past midnight, but you couldn't get sleep and decided to light up a candle to read instead. Not a long after you heard sharp knock on your door, following with Levi's usual cold tone: "I expect my soldiers to take care of themselves. So, why are you not asleep?"

✦✧✧✦

You were excitedly talking about a book you had read earlier, when you took a glance at him. He looked more bored than usual, so you decided to stop talking. "Why'd you stop?" his eyes snapped back at you, brows furrowing.

✦✧✧✦

It was the small moments that made your heart flutter and stopped you from losing hope. This made loving him really painful, you never knew when he would act like he hated you and when you would get proof that he actually cared.

Today was one of those days when it seemed like the mere existence of yours in the same room as him was insufferable to him. So you left.

✦✧✧✦

Oh, if he only knew of the tears you shed because of him. He never really reciprocated your feelings, but he didn't let you go either. You were attached to him by a string of hope, yet that was all you would ever get. Or so it seemed.

✦✧✧✦

At Erwin's office:

"Levi. You should tell them before it's too late", Erwin said with that strict but friendly tone of his. He had noticed how Levi was denying his feelings towards you.

"What do you know about that?" Levi crossed his arms, clearly not appreciating his friend's advice.

"I know how you look at them when you think that no one notices. And I've seen the small gestures you make", Erwin explained calmly, not willing to drop the subject.

"If you don't tell them, you'll have to live with the regret once they're in love with someone else, or worse."

"Precisely why I don't tell them. I don't need to watch someone I love die in front of me anymore", Levi answered with bittersweet voice and stared at the floor.

"You love them, wether you admit it or not. Wouldn't it be nicer to live with the memories of them, rather than with the regret of not being brave enough to admit your feelings?" Erwin asked while keeping his gaze on Levi. He didn't enjoy seeing his friend in a difficult situation like this.

"You make it sound like I am a coward", Levi huffed, even though he couldn't deny Erwin's words did make sense.

"Maybe you are", Erwin hummed in response, causing Levi to throw daggers at him with his gaze.

✦✧✧✦

Later:

It was late in the evening and you were getting ready for bed, still thinking of Levi and his changing behaviours. Maybe you should talk to him about it, tell him to stop messing with you. Or would that be seen as being disrespectful towards your captain? He would definitely complain about it.

This train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a familiar knock on the door. "May I come in?"

It was Levi, and your heartbeat accelerated from the tone of his voice. It was softer than usual, something wasn't right.

You open the door to stare at him in disbelief, meeting his eyes.

"You weren't sleeping, right?" he asks and shifts back to the cold demeanor. Perhaps you misheard his earlier tone.

"No.. I wasn't", you answer slowly, still staring at him. The situation was uncomfortable.

"No one told that your staring is weird? Or do I have something on my face?" Levi asks with dry voice, brows furrowing.

"No, I just.. Why are you here?" you couldn't help but to wonder why was he there, since most of the time he didn't voluntarily seek your company.

"Our earlier conversation ended on a bad note", he explains.

'Ended on a bad note'? When did he ever care of being rude towards you or ending conversations with insults? Something was seriously not right.

"I didn't think you cared of that", you blurt out a bit too harshly.

Levi's expression turns into slight frown. Of course he would have known you would think that, considering how harsh his behaviour towards you often were. Still, it managed to unpleasantly surprise him.

"I do care."

Three words you never expected to hear from him. Three words that made your eyes widen in shock, had you misheard?

"You do?" was all you managed to let out. Your question held more weight that the words told, yet he understood that.

"I do."

✦✧✧✦

part 2

[velocesainz]

Why are you here?

(OP81)

F1 masterlist | Main masterlist | Taglist

Summary: You are an engineer at McLaren and work with oscar, however, the relationship between the two of you is complicated

Warnings: Angstyyyy, mentions of su!cide, happy ending

Pairing: Oscar x engineer!fem!reader

Your POV:

I walked into the McLaren garage and threw on my overalls. This was going to be a long day of repairs.

Why?

Because of Oscar Piastri of course.

He decided to ram the MCL60 into the barrier during fp1 causing the car to sustain some serious damage which had to be fixed before quali the next day.

As I was working alone, I heard someone walk into the garage.

"Finally somebody decided to help me fix this assholes ca-" I instantly shut my mouth when I saw Oscar.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He's never in the garage unless he's getting ready to get into the car.

"I came in here thinking someone useful was working on my car and to check with them if the damage was bad. But I guess no one is here" he replied curtly with a smirk on his face.

Ugh I hate him so much I tell you.

I couldn't hold the rage in.

"You know what just get out. I spend all my days slaving away to fix your stupid car that you keep crashing and I don't even get a thank you in return. I have to do this all alone because the other mechanics refuse to take orders from a "girl". So sincerely, if you have nothing good to say get the fuck out." I snapped.

Oscar looked at me for a second and then replied "Thank god I'm not in the garage as an engineer or something or else I would have to hear your annoying voice yap all day long and look at your ugly face while you complain" and walked away, thank god.

Thank god this was my last season with McLaren. I haven't yet signed the renewal contact but I doubt I want to stay in formula 1 after this experience.

Heck I didn't even want to live on this planet after what he just said.

Was I really that annoying and ugly?

Oscar POV:

I walked out of the garage and as I walked to my driver's room I tried taking in all the y/n said.

All she did was her job and me being a coward who can't express his feelings just ends up insulting or arguing with her.

I felt horrible. What I said was vile, disgusting and mean. I was going to apologise the next day for sure.

The next day:

I walked around the garage talking to my race engineer and getting ready for the race.

I didn't see y/n anywhere which is odd, she's always there for all races no matter what happens.

I ignored it and went on with the race.

2 hours later:

I can't believe it! I got P2!!

I better thank y/n, she fixed my car all by herself after all.

After the podium celebrations came time for the team party. I dressed up in a nice tailored suit and fixed my hair. I was going to confess to y/n today.

I made my way to the party and searched everywhere for y/n but she was still nowhere to be found.

I suddenly received a text from her

Thank you Oscar for all you've done to help me become a better person. I appreciated the insults to some point but yesterday really got to me. I know you hate me but I'd like you to know that I love you. It's alright though, you won't have to see this ugly face in the paddock or anywhere else really. I hope you live a great life, I sure didn't.

What did I just read? Was that...no. It can't be...

Was that a su!cide note?

I have to get to her immediately.

I got in my car and tracked her location on my phone, driving to her as fast as possible. I hope I can save her, she's my everything.

Your POV:

Everything was ready. The notes were sent. The bathtub was full.

It was perfect. I can finally end my misery and suffering.

I got into the tub, fully clothed, and completely submerged myself in it. I tuned out all the noise around me waiting for death to come take me.

That's when I was suddenly pulled out of the water.

Why wouldn't this person let me die? Why is this person here?

I opened my eyes. It was Oscar.

"Why are you here?" I asked

"Because I love you y/n. I can't live without you. I was stupid for not confessing earlier but please don't leave me" he was silently crying giving his confession.

"I love you too Oscar" I replied

"God I love you more. Don't ever leave me please" he said as he kissed me.

He helped me get out of my wet clothes and he held me close for the rest of the night.

I finally had someone who cared for me and all my worries disappeared.

[cosmicjoke]

Levi and the importance of staying true to ones heart:

I'm gonna' talk about another aspect of Levi's choice in Shinganshina, but first, I want to dedicate this post to all the little bitch eruri shippers out there who are too scared to come off anon, who now can't send me hate messages over it since I turned anon asks off and ya'll are a bunch of cowards. Hope you enjoy this one, because it's for you.

I was thinking about an ask I got a few days ago, about why Erwin chose Hange over Levi to take over as commander, and why in turn Hange chose Armin, and I answered that I thought it had a lot to do with Levi's own philosophy of "no regrets", that is, Levi's insistence on always following ones heart, doing what one feels is the right thing in any, given situation. Not necessarily right in terms of what the outcome will be, but right in terms of how your choice will sit with your conscience.

I think obviously, this aspect of Levi's character, his belief in always doing what your heart tells you to do, is evidenced by his choice in Shinganshina, to give Armin the serum and to let Erwin die.

Putting aside all arguments regarding whether it was the right thing to do "for humanity", I think what maybe people don't focus on enough when it comes to this moment is whether it was the right thing to do morally.

I've talked before about how Levi's choice was really an act of compassion over ideology, here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/737207612761915392/the-importance-of-compassion-over-ideology-levis?source=share And I think it's worth revisiting this aspect of his choice again.

I think people get so caught up in the concept of "the greater good" when discussing "Attack on Titan", and this moment in particular, that they miss one of the main overarching themes of the story, which is that the "greater good", particularly, things done in the name of the greater good, can actually lead to horrific atrocities and cruelty, and that the idea of the "greater good" itself is based in subjectivity, and never absolute. It isn't something we should ever prioritize over the tangible and concrete reality before us. That tangible and concrete reality being the things we can do to alleviate the suffering of others now, rather than hoping for and pursuing some idyllic utopian future where nobody ever has to suffer, and, ironically, causing people to suffer in the pursuit of that goal.

I talk a lot too about how I don't think Levi has ever held any great faith in the concept of a better world. I think Levi is a realist. Someone who understands and accepts the bleak reality of life on this planet, someone who accepts human nature, who knows that a utopian existence isn't really possible because of that reality, but who, despite that, still maintains a great depth of kindness and compassion toward others, still values life and the right of others to live.

His support of his comrades in the Survey Corps has more to do with his wish to fight for them, to support their own, personal dream of a better world, than it does his own belief in that better world. He thinks of Erwin as a "greater existence" than himself, to quote Isayama, because he believes Erwin is able to conceptualize and believe in a better world, to see that possibility, while Levi himself can't.

What Levi is fighting for is people, not a concept. That's always been true of Levi, I think. We see that manifest in multiple ways, multiple times throughout the story. In Levi's first appearance, when he holds that dying soldier's hand and promises him that his sacrifice will give Levi the strength to keep fighting. When he gives Petra's patch to that grieving soldier. When he goes out of his way to help the people of Trost. When he saves Ramzi, endangering their mission to rescue a single child. When he refuses to accept right away that Eren has gone rogue, to turn on him, because so many of his comrades died for him and Levi can't bear the thought of them having sacrificed their lives for nothing. And we see it manifest in his choice to let Erwin die. He prioritizes a person over a concept. And I think that fact emphasizes the great morality of Levi's choice, and ultimately, the rightness of it. Concepts are just that. They aren't real. They're ideas. But people are real. People exist. People matter.

Armin talks early on about the need to abandon ones humanity in order to achieve victory. Erwin's entire character revolves around this premise. He's seen as a great and visionary leader because of his ability to detach himself from human emotion and make tough decisions and sacrifices. Basically, for his ability to engage the concept of the ends justifying the means. Whatever it takes to "win".

But then, what does winning even mean, what does salvation for humanity mean, if in the pursuit of it, we lose our humanity?

Levi talks about being willing to take on the role of a "monster" if it means nobody else having to. He understands that, if people are forced to lose their humanity in pursuit of freedom, then freedom itself is rendered meaningless. There is no salvation for humanity if we ourselves lose sight of what it means to be human. Levi says he's willing to become a monster, that he's willing to lose his humanity, as long as no one else has to. He's willing to make that sacrifice.

But what Levi's choice in Shinganshina shows us is that he actually wasn't able to abandon his humanity at all. He never was a monster, and never actually could be. Because he couldn't, in the end, look upon the suffering of another human being, and ignore it.

That goes back to what I said about why Erwin chose Hange, and why Hange chose Armin. To be an effective leader, in order to achieve "victory" of some abstract goal, one has to be able to abandon their humanity. And Levi can't.

Levi is the most compassionate and empathetic character in AoT. And part of the reason for that is because of the inherent nature of that compassion. He isn't able to give up his humanity, he isn't able to lose it, because it's too much a part of him, too deeply rooted in who he actually is. It's the driving force behind everything he is and does. The beating, bleeding heart and soul of the Survey Corps. His presence, his role within the story, in many ways, functions as the moral compass by which both the audience and the other characters are guided.

Even in the face of violence, war, atrocity, and prejudice, even in pursuit of some concept of "the greater good", Levi can't bring himself to actual cruelty. Because that's what it would have been, to give Erwin the serum. It would have been an act of cruelty, against a man who didn't deserve it. And, again, if in the pursuit of a better tomorrow, we ourselves become cruel, pitiless, unempathetic, merciless, how can a better tomorrow actually be achieved? What salvation is there for humanity if, by the end, we have no humanity left in ourselves?

Erwin was able to abandon his humanity in pursuit of a personal dream, and we saw where it ultimately lead him. Into a state of such utter depression, and so wracked by guilt, that he became ineffectual, needing Levi to do the right thing for him. Erwin had strayed down a path that went against his heart.

That's something Levi was never able to do. Go against his heart. Go against what he felt was right. The only time we really see Levi do something that doesn't sit right with him is when he helps Hange to torture Sannes, under Erwin's orders and as a favor to Hange. Levi is noticeably less enthused about the whole affair than Hange, taking no actual pleasure in the exercise, even visibly distraught over Hange's level of cruelty. And still we see after how heavily that weighs on him. He completely forgets to inform Historia of the information they tortured Sannes for in the first place, and then explodes on her when she refuses out of self-pity to take on the role of queen, threatening to render the whole thing pointless. Do what your heart tells you, this is something Levi emphasizes to others again and again, which is what I mean when I say he acts as the moral compass of the story. Do the best you can, make the choice you won't regret. That doesn't mean the choice that will have the best outcome. That means the choice which will sit well with your conscience.

And I think in order to understand Levi's choice in Shinganshina, one needs to understand what sort of choice it was. Levi's choice, in its purist form, was a choice of the heart. It was a moral choice, decided upon through conscience, through the understanding, at an intrinsic level, what was right, rather than some ideological pursuit with an intangible endpoint.

He knew it was wrong to bring Erwin back into the world, and to put the same expectations on him to be the great leader he had been. He knew, in its way, that to do so would be to betray his own declaration, of taking on the role of a monster for himself so long as it spared anyone else from having to do the same. Erwin was corrupted by his dream. The threat of that corruption promised to make him into a monster. And Levi wasn't going to let that happen, just like he said. He wasn't going to allow Erwin to lose his humanity, even if it meant condemning himself.

Whether one wants to argue over Levi's choice being the right choice for humanity's salvation or not, what I don't think is up for discussion is that Levi's choice was, in the end, the right choice morally. And no, that doesn't mean Levi chose Erwin over humanity, or that he sacrificed humanity for Erwin because he loved him. It means he chose compassion over an idea. He chose humanity over a concept. He chose a person over an ideal. Because it was the choice that rejected the ideology and the dogmatism of "the greater good" in favor of something real, which was kindness and mercy for another human being. It was a rejection of cruelty and barbarism in pursuit of some evanescent and ultimately meaningless concept.

There is no greater good without morality. There is no salvation for humanity without mercy or compassion.

[soaps-mohawk]

hey, this is kind of heavy so don't publish it if it'll ruin the vibe because i appreciate the community of unapologeticaly thirsty bitches (affectionate, gender neutral) that is your blog

i just wanted to say thank you because well there is not a lot of joy left in life

by not a lot i mean fucking none lmao

it feels like i'm not allowed to feel anything except hopelessness because being hopeless is a logical conclusion of how everything around is, but then, i also don't have the moral right to feel hopeless because i should be raging, i should go and die pointlessly for the cause or whatever

and yet, the way you write those silly military men allows me to feel comforted, to stop fixating on the future i never had but still mourn

your reader is amazing too, a strong person who didn't allow the dystopian reality around turn her into a coward with a closed-off heart, someone who is able to care despite how much heartache she was forced to bare through no fault of her own

in general, my favorite gateway to maladaptive daydreaming 10/10 would recommend, so thank you for that and i hope that it's okay to let you know that your work made my life a little better, so. again. thank you

-🌯

Hi burrito anon. Thank you for sharing this 💚

I know we all feel the same, or at least similar with everything going on right now around the world. Things are looking grim and it's hard to see any hope or goodness in the world most of the time. It's especially bad when there's nothing you can really do about it directly. That helpless feeling is hard to come to terms with and I know a lot of people are struggling with that right now.

I'm glad I'm able to help even just a little. Fantasy is my escapism and even turning something as bleak, and like you said, silly, as Call of Duty into an escape for others is really all I wanted to achieve. I love hearing how much this story has touched people and made their days better, or even their lives, because that's really why I posted it to begin with, and why I continue to post it.

I'm so glad I took the risk and posted this fic. I'm glad I didn't just leave it to die in my WIPs like so many others. You and all my readers are what keep me going, are what make it worth it to post every week, to talk about it, to build the lore like I have. I've never gotten this deep into a fic before, and it's because of all of my lovely readers.

I should be the one thanking all of you for giving me this opportunity. I've met some amazing people so far on this journey, and I hope I meet some more by the time we get to the end. Even then, I have no plans to go anywhere.

I'm so glad you feel that my fic has made things better for you, even just a little. That makes my world a little better, hearing that. 💚💚

[tricks-n-illusions]

{ @askoinari } So, your one true wish in this whole entire universe is to die, hm? Tragic, pitiful really. All this fuss and a temper tantrum because you couldn’t win mommy’s love? Even your own god does not grant you the peace you so desperately long for, stringing you along like a puppet. Do you honestly think your death will solve all your problems? Knowing your god, they’d probably spite you back to life in the form of a ghost for a laugh, wouldn’t that be ironic? I suppose nobody else would care about your death considering your track record for violence, but what of your No-so-apparent companion here? Wouldn’t they mourn you, at the very least? Judging from your charming nature, probably not! Good luck on your fools’ errand. - Yako

Silas's ears flattened as he backed away from Yako, for the first time it seemed he was fearful of someone. Though you couldn't place why... But, Silas knew, he knew exactly why, it was that damn mask, the posture, the aura, the way their tail seemed to become a wisp. It was like looking at a ghost. Once he realized why Yako scared him Silas couldn't do much but freeze in place and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping they would just leave. His fear response became painfully apparent as the moments passed. All he could muster up was a feeble anxious whimper, maybe that would magically make them spare him from the incoming verbal assault. Then they spoke. It sounded just like her. In his terror it WAS her.

Seance's tone was mocking, something Silas was guilty of doing... or maybe he was just copying her the whole time. Even so, she just quietly hummed in thought, looking over him as she ever so slightly inched closer and closer.

"Even after all these years, you're still chasing after her love? Desperately hoping one day she'll forgive you for all the pain you caused her?" Though Seance's voice was soft, her words were not. "I told you, She doesn't love you and she never will. Why can't you get that through your head?" She paused, giving her words a moment to sink in before she spoke up again. "Silas." She sounded upset. "What did I tell you about not looking at me while I'm talking to you?" He cringed at that but didn't reply.

When he didn't do what she said, she just gave a soft, "Tsk." Well, He always was a coward, of course he didn't have the guts to even look at her. She gently brushed a claw over his face before finally letting go with an annoyed sigh. Despite Seance's words, Yako's voice was still loud and clear, mocking him along with her. Her voice seemed to compliment theirs perfectly.

Seance quickly broke into laughter at the thought of that herself.

"Isn't that right, Little fox?" Truth always hurt. Silas couldn't deny it, Yako was right. Seance was right, every word every insult was right. When tears finally began to well up and Seance's voice faded, Silas found the courage to speak. His voice was soft and faint. A mere whisper compared to the onslaught of words from Yako. "Please..."

Silas's words obviously went unheard. His claws just dug further into his skin, blood beginning to trail down his arm, the moment it finally seemed like Yako was going to stop talking, Silas broke from his fearful trance. In one quick sweeping motion, Silas threw out a Night Slash.

"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY." He shouted. "You have NO right to TALK DOWN to me like I'm beneath you! I AM NOT BENEATH YOU." He sounded unsure. "You don't know who the fuck I am, and I don't think you want to find out. So, Shut the fuck up or I'll make you! I have no fucking problem with killing you right here. Unless you want to be gutted I suggest you FUCK OFF." Silas lowly growled, his teeth bared, a blatant attempt at aggression, though his behaviour portrayed more fear than anything. Yako obviously touched a nerve with his words.

He didn't care. Finally, after everything the tears began to flow, all he could do was sniff and wipe them away. "...Fucking pathetic." He grumbled, his words seemed to be addressed to Yako but it quickly became clear it was for himself.

→ Yako has been added to the relationships page. → Seance has been added to the characters page. → Silas is now injured and will stay that way until he addresses it.

[ Ask from @askoinari ]

[loosesodamarble]

Hiya Erika 😁!! Ooo for the character ask game may I ask for 1, 6, 13, and 17 for…Yami and Finral please 🥰! (I hope it’s okay asking for two 🙈!)

It's very okay asking for two characters, Lyra! It just means that I'm gonna take a little more time to answer. Hope you don't mind that.

..........

Yami Sukehiro

1) Why do you like or dislike this character?

This is going to sound weird but I like Yami because he's like an older cousin who is told to take charge and watch over the others but 9/10 times he does his own shit since the younger kids can manage just fine and the last 1/10 times is when shit get real like a robber breaking in.

He's an older role model to his squad. But he doesn't act like an authority figure to them. He doesn't force them to follow any rules and lets them take care of themselves to become who they can/want to be. Yami's character is able to balance responsibility and freedom to the benefit of the other characters around him.

6) What's something you have in common with this character?

Is it a cop out if I say me being part Japanese is a commonality between me and Yami (since Hino is the Japan of BC)? Because I can't really think of anything else that he and I share.

13) What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

💀 Skull. No, I don’t think Yami is going to die (if it was about a character dying or being dead Morgen would have this emoji/j). And while I don’t think Yami would be a big emoji user, I get a kick out of imagining Yami typing “your days are numbered 💀” when someone pisses him off through text.

17) What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Yami x Nacht. I've joked that they have the energy of ex-lovers and there is potential in that kind of dynamic. Seeing romantic potential in a platonic dynamic is nothing new and that’s something in Yami x Nacht which I can’t find fault with. It’s fine. People make good art for the ship. But I don’t seek out content for the ship (I see it on my dash because of who I follow and because of the fandom tag). And I don’t feel strongly enough about it to make content for it either.

.....

Finral Roulacase

1) Why do you like or dislike this character?

-I like that he's a coward without being an ass about it. If he was some kind of selfish coward that ran at the expense of others, I wouldn't like him nearly as much. -He is loving and forgiving towards Langris, someone who really needs it. I will never not like characters who forgive without hesitation. That stuff is my jam. -Awesome magic. Teleportation is always going to be cool. -He really is a pacifist through and through. His magic can't attack because he's just that kind to his core. -His pacifism doesn't equate to uselessness. He will still do what he can to support those around him who can fight because that's what needs to be done more often than not. -Literally just a cute guy. Looks and personality wise. I want to protect Finral. -In a real life situation, I would want to date someone like Finral. He's fun-loving but also realistic. He's giving but still fights for what he wants (at least post character development). Finral is troubled but not jaded.

6) What's something you have in common with this character?

I too would be chill with my siblings if they almost caused my death. I love my family very much (mostly because they’re genuinely nice people) and I don’t think I’d ever have the heart to hate them regardless of how they hurt me.

13) What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

💖 The sparkling heart emoji. Finral’s got a big heart and I giggle at the thought of shoujo romance sparkles around Finral when he tries to flirt (even when he fails). He’s just got a sparkly personality.

17) What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Finral x Vanessa. It’s another case of romantic potential within a platonic relationship. And given how their stories parallel in some ways (both not displaying abilities that their abusive parents desire and running away from home), I understand why people would want to ship them together, for that paralleled lovers dynamic. I get it but I'm not too into it. I've stumbled upon content for it and some friends ship it but I'm not someone who would seek it out or create for it.

[sunnylands-world]

My crazy death eater- draco x reader angst @i5hyv

Prompts used:

It should have been you

Prompt #313

Prompt #460

Prompt #100

It had been exactly one week since Draco lost his friend; he hadn't really been the same since. You and him both were friends with Crabbe but Draco took it a bit harder. Today you decided to try talking to him about it. You walked the narrow path to the boy's side; hushed voices filling the space nearly caused you regret. You never meant to be a part of any of this, you were just trying to be a good friend to Draco. When he became a death eater you tried to support him but everyday he seemed more detached.

Once word got out about him being involved with Voldemort you immediately became an outcast because you were his friend; those who talked to you in other houses turned their back when you came towards them. You felt like a wrong pair of shoes in a shoe store. Draco shut the world out after Crabbe died; he didn't talk to you either but the silence was killing you. knocking on his door waiting for an answer only for it to swing open. The room felt like the forbidden forest as you entered, seeing Draco standing by the window.

"Hey…are you okay?" you announced hoping he'd look at you; you knew the answer to the question but still asked not knowing what else to say. "Why are you here?" he said, eyes leaving the wood floor sucking you in the Storm. He looked starved, possibly with a fever. "I thought you could use a friend," you said, playing with your fingers; he scoffed."I had a friend" your eyebrows go high at the statement. "What's that supposed to mean?" you snapped. "It means my real friend died!" he huffed. You felt like a fire with added heat.

"Do you have any idea what being your friend costs me?! being friends with someone everyone dislikes because he's cruel?! but You’re nothing more than a coward, running once you have to face what you've done but that’s nothing new" you let it out before realizing what you said. He walks closer to you; enough for you to feel his heavy breath." It should have been you" he mumbles. Your heart falls, clear liquid creasing your eyes "I've been nothing but caring to you, I would rather die than see you ruin yourself! Because that's the type of friend I am.

I stood with you through everything" your voice cracks as you suck air into lungs"Then die! I couldn’t care less, everybody else is dying, you'll just be an extra compared to them" he says, practically spitting the words in your face. You nodded your head, the tears falling down, not even fighting to stay in anymore. I can't keep playing this game with you. I'm done with it all; I'm done loving draco malfoy" you say grabbing the door knob. "You're done when I say you are"

Request open 💙

[ps1demodisk]

Changing our username to escape the consequences of our actions, are we? You managed to get a whole server shut down because of your manipulative bullshit. I hope the people you hurt can find some comfort in the fact that you will die alone. Especially if you keep treating people like this.

You can’t even clearly explain what the people you went after did. No evidence, no screenshots, nothing. Just your lies and manipulation and petty bans thrown at anyone you don’t like.

At the very least, don’t be a coward. You owe many people a massive apology, although I don’t expect them to forgive you. God knows I certainly don’t.

Ok so I'm gonna try and take this seriously but I gotta be real "changing our username to escape the consequences of our actions, are we?" made me snort so hard coke came out my nose so I apologise for how shittily put together this is but god damn it's hard to get your thoughts in order when you're almost throwing up

Anyway maybe go ask the spy (because i know that's why it(i checked pronouns, its bio only lists it/its) followed, and i haven't blocked because im not trying to hide) who you sent to my main twitter account to verify this shit before you talk to me cause I told it "My profile is open, I only have hob blocked, I only changed my username because I felt disconnected from my old one. You don't need to worry about me trying to wiggle back in or whatever."

I never tried to hide, if I was trying to hide I'd have shut down all my accounts before changing my name, I don't want to hide. "You can't even clearly explain what the people you went after did. No evidence, no screenshots, nothing." Ok. I can't gather screenshots from servers I'm not in, I explained myself clearly as I could given the fact I still have not had anything explained to me outside of what one person told me and you guys for some reason don't care about that part of any of it so it doesn't help me address shit. The Doc I posted on my old nsfw is the best I could do with the lack of information. My only regret is that I remembered extra details too late to edit them into the doc.

You and the rest of them are essentially a group of highschool children, that's how you're acting. You whisper behind your hands to each other and claim to want to protect people from the big scary evil master manipulator [Kalista] but when someone asks you what I did you act like nothing happened unless it's someone you think will fall for your shit. I do not believe there's substance 99% of whatever you guys have against me that could justify the reaction on that fact alone. Not to mention how STILL, screenshots are shared of me having flashbacks to being RAPED, and you treat it like evidence I'm the devil.

When you guys want to be civil and at the very fucking least stop wishing death on me and sharing that screenshot (and again Hobqueer is fully aware i was having flashbacks, I told him the day after in DMs when he pretended like he cared) then you can come talk to me about how evil I am.

"Don't be a coward" go fuck yourself, Peachy. The call is coming from inside the house and you fucking know it. I know that's you. Don't tell me to stop hiding when you didn't even have the balls to send it off anon, probably cause you know "I hope the people you hurt can at least find some comfort in the fact you will die alone" isn't a good look.

Seethe, for all I care. Rot in your hatred, I welcome it. I don't see myself as a victim, sorry if that fucks up the narrative you constructed for yourself or others.

I have no desire to be in contact with any of you besides maybe two people who defo hate me but at least didn't say some unhinged top-of-bible-studies-class level shit, so like... you can "let go of hatred" now like you wanted to before. You don't have to waste your energy thinking up ways to make me feel bad, because it doesn't work anymore.

Should've tried this two days ago then maybe you'd have gotten more than a half-thought-out bait response.

[faggotry-enjoyer]

https://definitions.uslegal.com/d/death-threat/

Under state criminal codes, which vary by state, it is an offense to knowingly utter or convey a threat **to cause** death or bodily harm to any person.

It is also an offense to threaten to burn, destroy or damage property or threaten to kill, poison or injure an animal or bird that belongs to a person.

You got hate, possibly a threat. A death threat is not what happened. You argue pedantics of how trauma survivors, POC, and more marginalized groups speak constantly and I think it's okay to do it to you as well.

I understand that you want attention (turning back on anon asks) but you can seriously be doing better for yourself. Obviously what that person said is out of line and I don't share the same sentiments, but you can't claim to be the victim of something that serious in this case. I hope you grow up a little but I don't want to facilitate it. Learn to recognize your white, goy, financially well position of power over other people and try to understand why so many people are upset with you.

Sincerely, someone who has been through worse and is still a decent person through it all.

i concede that the other ask may not have technically been a death threat. i maintain that focusing on that technicality here is messed up - someone just told me they want me to die. that's frightening no matter how you cut it.

in general, i actually tend to find the progressive fixation on language very frustrating. i only talk about language like that when it's actively harmful, and even then i know there's a time and a place.

for example, i talk on here about how phrases like "narcissistic abuse" contribute to demonization of personality disorders, but i would never choose to focus on that if somebody used the term when talking to me about their own trauma, because i know that's not the most important thing in that moment by a long shot. you do understand the difference between the two, right? hell, in this vein i even share stuff that has this kind of saneist language i would otherwise object to, because i'm capable of recognizing when terminology is a distraction.

the other one you probably have in mind is the way i discuss the misuse of terms like zionism, or dogwhistles more generally. and here? if you genuinely think that the kind of rhetoric that gets jews killed is on the same level as using somewhat stronger language than necessary while shaken, that's a you issue. especially because the people i'm talking to with this one are western leftists, who have left jews out of their activism for years and completely abandoned them since october 7th, to say nothing of the more active antisemitism. i'm not talking to palestinians who are directly affected, i'm talking to people who have the power to foment the kind of antisemitism that, again, gets jews killed. the western left are not in any way the victims here.

i didn't turn anon asks back on for attention, i did it because i usually prefer it that way and i'd hoped enough time had passed since the last unsettling anons i got. the blocklist dropped after that.

you don't get to decide that i can do better for myself, and i don't want you to facilitate my "growing up" either. i don't need the mentorship of cowards who won't dare to show their face when they condescend to me.

fascinating choice to bring up my goyische position of power here. for one, do you really think i'm unaware of that? the thing that i'm talking and sharing about every day? for two, in case you didn't notice, somebody just told me they want me to die because i stood up for jews. that's antisemitism. does it have the same kind of impact on me that it does on jews? not at all, not by any stretch of the imagination. this is a small, small taste of the kind of thing they go through on a daily basis. and even this is unnerving. do you think i don't know how much worse it is for them? do you think i don't come on here and listen to their pain every single day? you are using jews as a prop to get one over on me and it's not working. the day i shut up about antisemitism is the day i die. the day i abandon jews for the approval of other leftists is the day i die.

dressing your suck it up mentality in progressive language doesn't make it any less callous.

i'm sorry that you went through worse - genuinely, i am - and i'm sorry that you feel the need to assert that when someone dares to go through less than you did. it's sad to see the amount of cognitive dissonance on display here and i wish you well in resolving it.

[thebookbin]

Cataclysm

Lydia Kang

Publisher: Del Rey, RandomHouse Genre: sci fi, fantasy, star wars Year: 2023

This book perfectly encapsulates the danger of writing prequel series. And although I will be the first to tell you that I believe collaborative storytelling is the next major frontier, Cataclysm manages to make every mistake possible to make when being a part of an endeavor like this.

This book is just... bad. There's no other way to put it. It's heartbreaking to be a Star Wars fan, particularly someone who loves the High Republic era and get this as an offering.

Where to even begin... Let's start with inconsistent characterization. Gella, the independent Wayseeker in Convergence is nowhere to be seen. In her place is a simpering idiot who makes every mistake in the book, is manipulated at every turn, and worst of all gets her partner killed. Why? Oh, because Axel Greylark is pretty, of course.

In case you're not fully up to date, in the first installment, tenuous interplanetary negotiations keep getting sabotaged at every turn, things go horribly awry, and thousands of innocent people die. The main cast discovers that it is Axel Greylark, hiding among them, who is responsible for this, and he is sent to prison.

If I ever read the phrase "she had to clear her head" or "she tried to focus" because apparently just being in the presence of a single (1) bourgeoisie mass murderer who is a bit pretty is enough to rattle Gella to her core. Seriously. This is a major plot point. Part of me genuinely wonders if Lydia Kang was chosen for this installment specifically to fend off accusations of sexism. The misogyny in the Star Wars fandom is already so prevalent, this honestly felt like a kick in the teeth. Especially because there are absolutely no other relationships that Gella holds as dear, even ones she's had for far longer--even ones that are more meaningful (I'm basing this on the fact that her attachment to Axel is based on the events of the first book, and he never said a true thing in that book, ergo her affections are based on a lie). When she gets a mentor in the form of a senior Jedi, who gently tries to prod her away from succumbing to her emotions, she goes around and immediately gets him killed. This does not affect Gella for more than 3 paragraphs. Meanwhile the only person she sheds tears for the entire novel is Axel Greylark, who, at the end of all this, must carry out his actual prison sentence. He gets tears, but Master Orin Dargha, killed by Axel Greylark, does not.

If you couldn't already catch on, this is an Axel Greylark hate account. There is absolutely nothing wrong with his character, I don't mind evil characters. It's the fact that he is narratively wasted. I was hoping for this book to be a corruption arc so desperately, but I could tell how much Kang wanted us to like him just because. Despite being a coward, despite getting people killed through inaction, and directly through his own actions, despite causing the deaths of thousands of innocents, Axel Greylark is narratively redeemed because he gets injured in battle and goes to jail at the end. Now first let's talk about the injured thing. This book was so hard to read because for some reason Axel is favored by the writer. Here is a list of things he somehow survives: getting blown up hard enough he goes unconscious, shrapnel to the chest (which he pulls out), a lightsaber slice to his shoulder that somehow didn't cut off his arm, strangulation, and drowning. This is all within hours of each other with no medical attention in between. Then when he switches back to being a "good guy" (I use the term loosely) it's because, and I am not joking, when the cultists he killed Orin for realize he's useless they make him do grunt work instead of being a Leader, and he doesn't like doing the grunt work. This man is selfish to his core. I thought for sure he would die in the battle in some bullshit Anakin-esque move that would "redeem him" because he made one right choice at the end of a decade of truly terrible choices, which I was going to roll my eyes at. But no! Not only does he survive, he gets to go to cushy white-collar criminal prison at the end of the book, and THAT is supposed to be enough. I want to throw him off a bridge.

Then came all the narrative blunders. The tension in the Eiram and E'ronoh and the not-so-subtle hints in the first book that the leaders were being manipulated into war, yes, but that manipulation was easy because of the old and set ways of their respective rulers, which is what Xiri and Phan-tu were supposed to mirror in the younger generation that solves it, but the politics of the first book are completely erased in this one. There is no resolution to this plot point, just a quick scene of a new treaty being signed in the postscript.

Another is Binnot Ullo, the orphaned street rat taken in by the Path who befriends the aristocrat Axel as a child. Where Axel literally has everything, and his entire selfish motivations stem from "my mom doesn't pay enough attention to me and I'm sad my dad's dead" while being lavished in every whim he could think of, Binnot had to earn his way his entire life. And while Binnot's story is truly a tragedy: an orphaned child with no family taken in by a Force-user hating cult. He has to suppress his Force abilities his entire life, because if he makes a slip the people around him will kill him. No, we can't be sympathetic to him, what about Axel! Binnot's death would have been so poetic if he was killed by a Force eating beast. In his last moments, he would be forced to confront his own hypocrisy and discordant world view. He would be forced to acknowledge the people he considered family--in his messed up sort of way--would throw him away in an instant. Narratively, we would understand that the "weapon" meant to kill Jedi has been unleashed, but anyone could fall victim. But we don't get any of that. Why? Because Axel needed to look cool. Axel kicks Binnot so that he... accidentally strangles himself with his poison glove? It seriously makes no sense. Binnot has a glove with retractable needles in the fingertips. He is reaching for Axel. Axel kicks his hand. Now, in my mind the needles are still facing away from Binnot's body, he was reaching out to use them against someone else. That does not explain how his own hand got around his neck after a single kick. I digress.

Now for the weird continuity things. Kang introduces another of Yoda's species, a female little green alien, who I kid you not, is named Master Yaddle. The weirdest part is: Yoda still talks like Yoda in this timeline, hundreds of years before the movies, but Yaddle talks like everybody else. I was hoping it would just be a cool linguistic quirk of the species but if Yaddle speaks normally, then Yoda's famous form of speech is... because he's just Like That. What?! Also, we know from the Mandalorian that there are more of Yoda's species, but Yaddle's presence is just baffling. There's no real point to it, besides the interesting tidbit she is also a caretaker of younglings. Honestly the whole time I was thinking of thee 1980 Empire Strikes Back puppet with a red wig on.

The whole point of Phase II was supposed to be an exploration of how and why Marchion Ro came to lead the Nihil and shed more light on their intentions in Phase III. Because Phase II takes place two hundred years before Phase I, it's like going back in time from going back in time. In Phase I we were introduced to this incredible weapon that turned Jedi into husks (Bell Zettifar, my boy, needs so much therapy). This same weapon is in Phase II HUNDREDS OF YEARS BEFORE PHASE I, and how does Kang explain why Jedi hundreds of years later fight the same enemy and have them still not know anything about it? The LAST SCENE OF THE BOOK is Yoda and Creighton Sun decide to just not talk about it until they "know more."

WHAT. You mean Loden Greatstorm died because Yoda JUST FORGOT TO MENTION the Force-eating monsters?! It's inconceivable. It's laughable. I just imagine Yoda going "Oh ya. Those guys. Bad news, they are." Because the book ends where it does, there's no investigation into these monsters, and we've already read Phase I in which they are a surprise, so we can surmise as the audience that, yeah. Yoda just forgot about the Force-eating monsters, after he and another Jedi decided to keep them a secret (despite multiple other Jedi coming face-to-face with them so literally how is it a secret between just them two?) and decide NOT TO KEEP ANY RECORD OF THE FORCE EATING MONSTERS and just NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS?!

Also, this duology really revealed absolutely nothing about the Nihil, Marchion Ro, or anything super relevant to Phase I. I am left thinking "what was the point of all this needless misogyny?!" IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING?! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?!

Honestly. This book is terrible. Just so bad. Poorly written, nonsensical plot, lack of continuity, and no clear purpose. At this point my recommendation is you can skip Phase II entirely.

storygraph | bookshop.org | local houston

★ don't waste your time on this mess star

[cherlawa-panna]

how tall are you if you need bucky to be short to punch him?

It's veeery old ask but I'm gonna answer it anyway because now I have a time. Sorry for wait. I'm 5'7! At least I think so, american measurings are so confusing for me lol.

I'm gonna explain why I think his height is perfect for me to punch him. But before I start, just a little warning, I'm not a specialist in fighting or anything, I just go to self-defense classes at my uni as a hobby.

Like we know, Bucky is 5'9. So we would look together like this:

So you can see, we are in similiar heights.

Of course, different heights shouldn't stop you from punching someone in the face (because I want to punch Bucky in the face). You can hit on the face anyone you want as long as you try, it's just harder to punch someone taller than you. But when you're fighting someone and you don't want to die, you have to hit the easy spots you can reach, and unfortunately, the face is not always the closest one.

But for me and Bucky? Our heights are perfect for a quick punch in the face. Of course, it would be soooo much easier if Bucky was shorter, but I could still punch him fast enough without a problem. Because if he was taller, my punch could be a little slower, and knowing my luck, he'd have enough time to dodge and punch me.

I'm not gonna lie, whenever I fight someone, I never hit in the face. I prefer solar plexus or knees because it's easier to make the opponent lose their balance this way. The neck is also a good spot, I once punch drunk guy in the neck when he attacked me and he fell lol.

But there's a thing. I'm not going to fight Bucky. Because I know I will lose. Maybe mentally I'm better than him because I went to therapy (for short time but still), but physically? He would freaking crush me. I've trained with taller guys than him and I kicked their asses BUT BUCKY IS A SUPERSOLDIER.

So my plan would be to take him by surprise, punch him in the face, and run away. Or maybe I'll kick him in the groin to get him down and then I'd punch him in the face and then run away.

This may be a coward's move to run away, but don't I care tbh. We all know I won't run far 'cause that bastard is fast and I'm gonna die by his hands no matter what I would do. But it would be still worth it. He deserves a good punch in the face, and I'd love to volunteer.

So anyway, that's it. I hope I've explained it clearly enough.

Have a nice day💕

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Next plan?

*puts the bag away* Okay, I think that's all I have and now-.

[X]

???: Hey Masa, hang on a moment!

Huh? Oh Naoyuki, hey...

Hey, so... I remember that your working for Future Foundation, yeah? I was told many of their members left but you stuck around despite all the shit going on, why didn't you?

Oh... curious of that?

Well, it's not that I'm not fond of it just that compare to the other foundations, Future Foundation is at least stable then the others and I feel a foundation does need stability compare to dictatorship or the lack of background checks.

Well true, you do need stability and I can't deny what your saying about the other foundations.

But an organization that claims itself to be some form of hope and not realize it's own flaws isn't a good one and even choose people based on title then what they isn't exactly representing 'hope' is it?

I mean for god sakes, you have a kid running a Division, don't you? That seems irresponsible.

...Look, I know that may seem bad but don't worry, the kid's mom is running it for her at least.

And yes, I won't deny what your saying - I'm not fond of it either, but it's not like I'm in charge of the foundation myself; I can't make any changes and it's not like most of the foundation wants me to run the place.

Especially when most of them don't trust you because you protected a serial killer and say serial killer is too much of a coward to turn herself in and is even why she went to Towa City.

But that wasn't your fault, that was Hope's Peak Academy; honestly the fact the school pushes any screw ups on the students is pretty mess up - I'm just saying that your talents are better elsewhere, that's all.

Maybe you are right, maybe they are but it's not like I can do much to change anything.

Still, I'm surprise you don't seem to like Hope's Peak Academy but not siding with Ultimate Despair... who are you?

...Someone that had their reasons to not like the school, that's all.

And just because I don't like Hope's Peak Academy, that doesn't mean I'm siding with Despair; hell I think many of those that sided with Junko Enoshima probably felt they were alone and felt they couldn't do anything to fix a broken system and needed to find others.

I see... well, I suppose that does make sense; probably that's why many of those that sided with Junko felt they couldn't do anything but all die for it, it's probably why I could never side with Junko Enoshima or her cause. (He...seems interesting...)

But I gotta go, anyway here I should give you this. *Masa writes down and gives Naoyuki her number*

That's my number if you want to call me, so again - thanks for the help, as say if I find anything I'll be sure to inform you.

*As then Masa gets on her motorcycle and drives off*

*is holding the paper*...

Well... looks like I was wrong about her, she does seem like one of the good ones...

[mjrnl]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐲 | 𝐗

SUMMARY: In the picturesque town of Esmeralda, Italy, a homeless girl named Fioria survives alone on the streets. Her life takes a turn when she discovers an abandoned castle hidden deep in the woods. Within its crumbling walls, she finds rare and beautiful Smeraldo flowers, which become her lifeline. However, as she tends to the flowers, Fioria stumbles upon a revelation that changes everything—an unexpected encounter with a mysterious boy with a mask. This serendipitous meeting intertwines their fates, revealing a past filled with pain, hope, and a bond that blossoms like the flowers she cherishes.

GENRE: romance, fantasy, angst (aka pain)

A/N: This is inspired by an Italian story about Smeraldo flowers—which is a fictitious flower, also an inspiration of BTS’ song “The Truth Untold.”

The old woman—Mrs. Marina—told me where Dante was buried; at San Cataldo Cemetery. She shared many stories about Dante, especially before he was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. When I told her my name, she seemed to recognize it from a letter Dante wrote before he died. I asked her why he never sent the letter, and she explained that his father was very strict about sending and receiving letters from anyone outside their mansion. Hearing about how strict his parents were upset me.

I wore a black dress and a black hat as I stood by his grave, gripping the letter in my hand. Guilt consumed every part of my body, making me feel like I was the reason he was buried six feet under where I stood. 

I opened the letter once again, staring at his messy handwriting with the words slightly smudged, assuming the smudges of ink were caused by tears. It ached my heart as I shut my eyes tight, imagining him—dying—as he wrote his last letter to me. He was suffering and I was completely oblivious about it. I was also completely oblivious about the fact that he was the boy I met during my childhood and the one who saved me from the fire.

He told me he was insecure of his scars. He said he was ugly with it. Yet, he never blamed me for them. 

He never blamed me for the scars that almost cost him his life—saving mine.

I choked back a cry, fighting to keep myself from breaking down. He had saved me, but I couldn't save him. And worst of all, I had been oblivious to his inner turmoil. If only he had told me. If only he hadn’t been so afraid. If only he wasn’t such a coward.

If only I hadn’t forgotten about him.

My teary gaze shifted at the letter, reading them for the tenth time.

Fioria,

I’m weak—I’m growing weaker and weaker. I feel like my body’s slowly dissipating—withering away, just like flowers do when they’re not cared for. But I guess it’s part of nature. I’m not ready to die yet because I’m waiting for you. I believe you’ll come back. I know destiny will bring us back together again. I've never forgotten you since that day in the garden, but I understand if you've moved on. I don't blame you. 

I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. My face—I know they’re horrible, and I’m sorry. Can we be friends again? I miss you—terribly, but I don't think I can hold on much longer. I'll wait for you. Whatever happens lies in the hands of fate. Yet, I still hope for some serendipity to reunite us once more—even if it might be more catastrophic this time.

I didn’t notice how tightly I was gripping the paper until I heard it crumple, almost tearing it as droplets of tears fell onto its surface. I harshly wiped off the tears escaping my eyes with the back of my hand. Even on the letter—he’s still sorry. Sorry for what? Why does he keep blaming himself? 

"What the hell are you sorry for, silly?" I managed to say, my voice breaking as I stared at his gravestone. "I'm the one who should be sorry."

Mrs. Farina had also mentioned how Ilario would often stand by the window, sometimes for hours, staring out as if waiting for something or someone. When she asked him what he was looking at, he'd simply say he was waiting. She asked who or what he was waiting for, but he never gave an answer. He’d just stare outside with a longing expression on his face.

Sometimes she would hear him screaming and crying at night, and then the next day, he’d have a straight face, as if he hadn’t been breaking down the night before. It seemed like he had gone numb.

Mrs. Farina also mentioned that Ilario had always been a secretive person since he was small. He would often disappear somewhere, even sneaking out a few months before he was diagnosed with a severe illness. They never found out where he had been going, but he did mention it was a place where he felt safe.

He was talking about the treehouse and the ruined castle—and only he and I knew about it. I took out the small jar of seeds from my pocket. Mrs. Farina gave me this, saying it was among Ilario’s possessions, with the name “Fioria” written on it. The moment she asked my name, she immediately recognized me and thought about handing me the jar.

And when I grew one seed, it left me completely baffled to realize that he had given me all the Smeraldo seeds. So I decided to plant them back in the castle—in that very room that I considered home—the Smeraldo room.

I took care of the flowers, watering them every day and monitoring their growth. When they bloomed, I would pick one and visit Ilario’s grave every week to place it there. During these visits, I would talk about how my week had been. But despite my efforts, guilt and pain still plague me every day—I don’t think I can ever fully recover from it. Every night, it crawls under my skin. Whenever I think of him, I can’t help but hate myself—for making him hate himself.

I was the reason he felt so insecure. If only he hadn't saved me in that accident, he wouldn't have been hurt and scarred his face.

What devastates me the most is that he never blamed me for it.

And I hate him for that.

I heaved a deep sigh, feeling the cold breeze against my bare skin as I placed the Smeraldo flower on his grave.

"I hope you can forgive me, Ilario. I'm so sorry," I whispered softly, a tear escaping from the corner of my eye. "May you find the peace you deserve."

chapters: one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

[maguro13-2]

The Dark Beginnings ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 0 Final Prologue (6/7) ~

*Sonic SFX : Chaos Control*

Seto : Alright, is everyone aboard?

Sonic : I think so.

Eggman : OHHH!!! The Death Egg! That darn robot blew it up! And it costs me 5000 dollars!

Seto : Really? I thought it would make you a millionaire, never know geniuses would have all that money.

Shadow : Looks like the doctor's space station is finished.

Sonic : This is the last time we've seen Emerl. I don't know why we were fretting over this.

Darkside Death : Because all of a you were such crybabies for a war machines that kills people.

Sonic : Shadow? Did you say something?

Shadow : No that wasn't my voice. It was something else.

Grim (Metal Sonic) : !? I feel a major disturbance that lies within the reach of darkness. I smell...

[Anubis (Impossible) - Maki Kirioka]

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Heartless!

*DBZ SFX : Suspense!*

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Look outside the window! Someone is here to meet in you person!

Amy : AAAH! What is that!?

Knuckles : Aw, Gnarly!

Rouge : What is that thing!?

Tails : Holy Fishpaste, who the barnacles that!?

Sonic : Woah! Who's the big guy!

Cream : I'm currently wetting myself!

Seto : Relax. That's Darkside Death, Lord Death's true form aka the Real charlatan.

Sonic : Darkside Death, you say? You mean...

All : THAT'S SHINIGAMI'S TRUE FORM!?!

Darkside Death : I never that you would all cower in fear that it would eventually happen to a machine that disappears into thin air. I knew that the mustache moron would let others die just for the sake of you heroes that wanted to protect humanity that are the arrogant species like the echidnas. He was such a capable machine from Professor Gerald.

Sonic : You! You caused all of this!

Eggman : And who do you think you're calling a mustache moron for!?

Shadow : So you're the one behind Witchkind's blame, eh? You hurt Ashley and Marisa's people...for the Devil.

Darkside Death : No, not me. Well...Perhaps from Shinra Kusakabe's orders. I even had to let him die when the Time Eater arrived to destroy his world just to annihilate him for his death.

Amy : I don't know how to say this, but this Shinigami creature that Maka has been working for is a heartless jerk.

Tails : I can't believe you! You made us cry like a bunch of little kids! Why you no good for nothing reaper!

Seto : You're gonna pay for that now, Heartless! You let your creator your die and you even manipulated everyone! I'm gonna finish this quick and we'll see who's the true Shinigami! I won't back down from a heartless coward like you!

Grim (Metal Sonic) : I'm gonna make you suffer!

Darkside Death : (chuckles) Simple as that, you will all die! A farewell gift to those who died peacefully for each of their sake!

Sonic : I'm gonna let you finish him off! Go get him, Seto! Show them what a true reaper you are!

Seto : Thanks for that, Sonic. I won't forget!

Sonic : Ready, Shadow?

Shadow : I'm ready as you are!

[Live and Learn by Crush 40 plays]

*DBZ SFX : Energy warbling+Big Aura*

Seto : (whistles) That's super gold.

Sonic : Alright, Shadow! Let's go take this bad guy out!

Shadow : Copy that!

*DBZ SFX : Instant Transmission*

Seto : Gladly that we can float in space. Hope we don't mind joining you in the fight?

Shadow : It's your call.

Darkside Death : Now this is some good entertainment. I really wanted this form of battle to stand against me. So you'll be lucky that I will be the manipulating these kids to be the under the influence of Shinra Kusakabe!

"Vs...DARKSIDE DEATH"

Seto : Sorry! But I don't take orders from heartless and you're master! You crossed the line, faker!

(Battle Begins)

Darkside Death : Now this is my kind of show! Let's just get this on the road! I wanna more and more power from the devil's influence, a will of the Devil that the meisters have been under! It's all part of my plan for universal domination!

Seto : You think that we're dumb enough to be part of a stupid influence? No we may not let you make Real World AU yours! I only protect the universe to those that is much saving the galaxy than the world itself and you're not the reaper that Maka knew! This sword that I was given has been keeping a secret! It's actually my sword that has the power of a Reaper and I will be the Shinigami that will make everyone their's to be influence me!

Super Sonic : Such a coward like you for hurting a witch's heritage and that is your own fault! Manipulating others was your dirty work and that is the coward's way!

Darkside Death : Coward's way? You make it sound so noble of you! I just let Shinra, Shotaro, and the girls of the Ohkuboverse to make their selves the greatest heroes that I entrust and you want them to believe in truth! But the men of Shinra influence has made humans and witches becoming the arrogant species when the Soul Resonance would be the successor that is key to the future of the Ohkuboverse. But to tell you that, there is no future to the Ohkuboverse! I only wanted to make everyone wake up to reality!

Super Shadow : Say whatever you want, but you're still a coward that spreads the lies to humanity's face! Human and witches are neither nor heartless!

Grim (Metal Sonic) : A human is a human!

Seto : A witch is a witch!

Super Sonic : And heartless is a heartless! Never bring those lies to you!

Super Shadow : This is for making us kill Emerl you creep! Chaos Spear!

*DBZ SFX : Rapid Energy Shots*

Darkside Death : Grrrrgh!!! I'll make sure that you and all of these will sufffer the same fate!

Sonic : You're gonna pay for this!

*DBZ SFX : Exclamation Mark*

Johnny Gioeli : Hey, what gives! Who cut off our song!?

Jun Senoue : Oh my God! Look! (points to something into the sky)

[The World Came Crumbling Down - Yutaka Minobe]

Sonic & Shadow : No way!

Penny Crygor : What the-!?

Ashley : No...It can't be! This heartless created a thing that would end all of Witchkind...including humans.

Kimial Diehl : That could mean thing! This heartless a weapon that could destroy earth! It's a Torpedo!

*DBZ SFX : Suprise!*

Seto : A MISSILE IS YOUR ONLY WEAPON TO DESTROY THE PLANET!?! A VILLAIN LIKE YOU IS SO STUPID OR INSANE! HOW CAN YOU TRUST MAKA ALBARN IF YOU'RE DOING THAT TO OUR PLANET!?!

Darkside Death : BECAUSE OF SHINRA KUSAKABE! THAT ATSUSHI OHKUBO IS SUCH A WEIRD MAN WITH SELF-CONFIDENCE! ALL HUMANS LIKE HIM IS FILLED WITH ARROGANCE, HUMANS AND WITCHES COULD'VE BRING PEACE TOGETHER! So If I can't be Shinigami and if there is no witches to be left on the planet, NOBODY WILL...NOBODY CAN!

Penny Crygor : (via radio) Ashley, Kimmy! The Shinigami that everyone knew was this heartless! Shinra and Maka were played from the start! Lord Death is the bad guy and not Shotaro!

Ashley : Does that mean Shotaro the Dokeshi is innocent?

Darkside Death : Watch as I oblierate Real World AU with this super deadly missile created from the powers... of Darkness!!!

*DBZ SFX : Energy Ball throw*

Johnny Gioeli : Oh god! We're all gonna die!

Seto : I gotta help the inhabitants and save the earth!

Darkside Death : Watch as I obliterate Real World AU with this deadly weapon I have given to all humans and witches a sake for the Kusakabe! I give you, the MISSILE OF DARKNESS!!

[Project C (Master CONTRA Phase 2) - Sota Fujimori]

Seto : Uh-oh! If we don't stop that missile soon, the whole planet will be destroyed!

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Damn, heartless! No wonder why Soul World existed in the first place!

Super Sonic : Shadow! We need to collect those rings to stop that missile!

Super Shadow : That could be a ring to work, but our super powers can't match the powers of darkness against that thing! We need some fire power that attracts light to darkness.

Seto : Light to darkness...Light to Darkness...

Sora's Voice : This is what's light to darkness. A chance to make eveeryone!

[Reunion - Kenichi Tokoi]

*ADVANCED!*

Seto : Light to Darkness! That's it That could work into my advantage! We can stop the missile with the powers of light! If they want light, I'll give them light to darkness! A chance to make everyone happy! Now let's take this missile down before it touches down the earth!

Sonic and Shadow : Got it!

Grim (Metal Sonic) : Nevertheless! It's time make the heartless pay for sabotaging our planet!

Seto : I just got one last trick to stop that deadly missile! I'm going to make a payback for whoever created Darkside Death!

"Let there be light, This is the final showdown!"

~ Prologue 31 : Beginning of the End Pt.1 ~

[skvatnavle]

Under the Stars

Frankie Morales x reader

Notes: This was in Ask from the lovely @lucy-sky asking for "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified". You gave me a choice between Steven and Frankie, but I had to choose Frankie, cause this idea just came to me. Hope you like it 😘❤

Plus, the way Frankie says "the new baby" in TF, he definitely has more than one kid. You can't change my mind, this is the hill I die on 😆

Warnings: None, fluff. Maybe slight hate towards a certain holiday and some insecurities, but it's all just very fluffy.

Words: 2190

As you sit back down on the couch with a new batch of beers, Benny shouts at the tv.

“That judge is a fucking disgrace!”

Benny grumbles as he downs his beer, opening a new one. You smile softly, looking around the living room at the guys. You’ve known them for a few years, and you counted yourself lucky to have these four men in your life.

When the commercial break begins, instantly there is an add for Valentine’s day. Fucking valentines. You hated that day. Was it just because you were hopelessly single? Yes, but seriously. It was always so overdone and so extreme.

“The big V. What plans do you guys have?” Will asks, smiling. Sure, he could smile. He actually have someone to celebrate with. You really weren’t bitter, you just… Okay, maybe a little.

“I plan on being horizontal with Jessie” Santi smirks.

“Well, I have Gabby and Elena, so… Mac and cheese along with some cartoons” Frankie smiles softly.

“No plans. Yet.” Benny smirks, ever so confident, but he had no reason not to be. “And I guess you and Louisa have plans?” he smiles, looking at his older brother.

“Yeah, classic date night. Dinner and a movie”. The others make puking noises, mocking Will. He just laughs it off and smile, as he takes another sip of his beer. Santi then looks towards you.

“What about you? Any plans for Valentines?”

You huff, emptying your beer. “Nope, still tragically single” you force a smile, even though you know that all can see its fake. They know you too well. “I’ve actually never had a Valentines date before, so why start now?”

As you try to laugh it off, they all look shocked. “Never?” Frankie says softly, clearly upset on your behalf.

“No. Guess no one thought I was worth it.”

There’s a glimpse of sadness in your eyes, but you quickly fake yet another smile, trying to seem indifferent. It was just a stupid holiday anyways. Capitalism at it’s finest. Still, it hurt. All the guys look at you, a sad expression on their faces. That’s exactly why you’d never told them.

Before they begin feeling too sorry for you, you stand, giving Frankie’s shoulder a small squeeze.

Frankie watches you leave, wishing he had said something. He could have invited you to spend the night with him and the girls, but kids forcing you to watch Coco for the hundredth time might not be what you really wanted.

“Well, I have to go. But good luck with your dates. See you Sunday.”

“She deserves a Valentine’s date”.

Knowing for years how Frankie feels about you, the other’s just exchange a knowing look, silently concocting a plan. Benny scoots closer, one hand coming to rest at Frankie’s shoulder.

“I could babysit the girls, so you can take her on a date.”

Frankie just laughs at what clearly must be a joke. He really wasn’t good enough for you with all the shit he’d been through. You probably wouldn’t even wanna go with him.

“No, she… Well, I didn’t mean me, I…” he stumbles a little over his words, flustered. “Maybe you, Benny? You’re younger, more handsome. Maybe more her type.”

Frankia looks down, fidgeting with the label of his beer. Truth be told, the thought of Benny taking you on a date would kill him. Why did he even suggest that? Because he was to much of a coward, that’s why.

“Nah, I’m more of a Mac n’ cheese, cartoons kind of guy. You go, Fish. And we’ll help you set it up”

V day had arrived, and you felt kinda pathetic, siting on your couch, takeaway menu in hand. Pizza or Chinese? Did it even matter? Sighing loudly, you drop the menu to the table, taking another sip of wine. On the screen, another woman got slashed. Horror movie, perfect for anti-valentines.

You almost don’t hear the sound of your doorbell over a scream. Dragging yourself from the couch, you walk over and open the door, wondering who it could be.

To your surprise, Frankie is there and… is that a bouquet of Gerber daisies in his hand? What was going on? For a second a horrible thought runs through your head. He has a date, and he needs you to babysit. Fuck, that would just be your luck.

“Frankie, what are you doing here?”

Smiling, clearly nervous, Frankie hands you the bouquet. Gerber daisies in all possible colors, almost like a little rainbow. Just like you loved them.

“I’m taking you on a Valentine’s date”

Speechless, you stand frozen for a sec, before you take the flowers from him and find a vase for them. Looking back, Frankie is still standing in the doorway, fidgeting with his hands. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear he was nervous. No, that can’t be. This is probably just a pity date, but you’re grateful anyways.

“Ehm, I should go change. What kind of date is it?”

“Well, what you have on is great. Maybe bring a sweater.” Frowning, you look down at your worn jeans and Frankie’s old Fleetwood Mac t-shirt, that you’d shamelessly stolen a few months back. You’re not exactly dressed for a date.

“You’re beautiful,” he says softly, his hand nervously running through his curls, before putting his cap back on. “You always are. Should we?”

You turn to grab a sweater, hoping Frankie didn’t notice the blush creeping up your cheeks.

As you sit in the car, wondering where Frankie will take you, there's a strange feeling in your stomach. Actual butterflies. When was the last time you felt this way? You couldn't even remember.

Wait, you shouldn't even feel this way. This is Frankie. One of your best friends. But as you look to your side, Frankie giving you a cute sideways smile, you can't ignore the way your stomach is fluttering. He looks at the shirt, gently tugging at the hem of the sleeve.

“You should keep it. Looks so much better on you, anyways.”

Shortly after the truck stops. All around you, it's dark and you can barely see a thing. If he weren’t your friend, you’d be scared, getting horror movie vibes from the dark outline of trees. Confused, you turn to Frankie. He just smiles and holds his finger up.

"Just… give me a second, okay?"

You nod as he jumps out of his truck. You take out your phone, passing the time, as you feel the truck moving and Frankie running around, soft grunts coming from the bed of his truck. What is he doing? Before you can open the window and ask if everything is okay, he opens your door.

"Ready?"

He holds out his hand for you to take. A soft smile grazes your lips, as you take his hand, and he helps you out of the truck. He gently leads you to the back and the sight leaves you speechless. Between four poles, one in each corner, is a light chain. It lights up the entire bed of the truck in a soft glow. The bed is covered by a mattress and several pillows and blankets. It looks like a cozy little paradise.

"Frankie… this is…"

You have trouble finding the words, making him a little nervous you might not like it. But seeing your face, he smiles, moving closer to the truck.

"Ehm, I've brought some food and" he opens a little bag and pulls out a computer with a speaker. "Benny helped me set this up with a movie".

He smiles at you, looking so proud. Your heart swell, beating faster than ever before. Never in your life has anyone been this considerate, put this much effort into anything for you.

"So… picnic, drive-in movie and star gazing all in one?" you say with a playful tone in your voice, still in disbelief.

"Yeah, well… You said once you’d like to try those things so… " he shrugs, before gesturing for you to climb up. As you get cozy, Frankie pulls out a lot of small containers and bags. He shrugs apologetically at the amount of food.

“The girls helped. Kept saying what you liked so…”

He looks down, a proud smile on his face. Those girls mean everything to him, and it always make your heart soar the way he talks about them, smiles just by hearing their names. Having spent countless hours with them, babysitting every chance you got, you loved them too. Which made their little contribution to the date all the more sweeter.

Knowing Frankie isn’t exactly a tech genius, you decide to take charge of the computer. He’s not dumb, far from it, just not tech savvy. Frankie mumbles the code to you as he finds the cooler with beers, and when the screen lights up, you grin. Your favorite movie. Of course. He really had thought about everything, hadn’t he?

Over halfway through the movie, the food is gone and you’re on your second beer. So far it had been beyond anything you could hope for. The food had been so delicious, so you suspected Will had helped Frankie and the girls. The lights looked like the ones from Santi’s backyard. And Benny’s computer? So… They had all had a hand in this. You giggle, drawing Frankie’s attention.

“What is it, Querida?”

“It’s just… All so perfect. Thank you so much, Frankie” you look into his beautiful brown eyes, seeing nothing but love in his gaze. How many times had you looked at him, lost yourself in the depths of his dark orbs? Swallowing hard, you realize if there ever was a time to do something, anything, this would be it.

“Only one thing missing though.”

He gives you a puzzled look, but it’s soon replaced by nervousness as you scoot closer, leaning against him. As you place your head on his chest, the sound of his heart is almost deafening.

“Is this okay?” you ask softly, putting your hand to his chest.

“More than okay.”

His arm slowly closes around you, pulling you closer, while the other pulls a blanket over you. The rest of the film you lay like this, listening to Frankie’s heartbeat. At some point, his hand found yours, his fingers slowly interlacing with yours.

“Querida, I… I really want to kiss you.”

His words are barely above a whisper, maybe afraid you’ll reject him. If he only knew that exact thought had run through your head thousand of times. Shifting, you look up at him, the silent plea hanging in the air. Frankie leans closer, cupping your cheek gently. His eyes search yours, as he wets his bottom lip, before pulling you into a sweet kiss.

His soft, warm lips dance against yours, tentative at first. But when you lean into his, deepening the kiss, his kisses grow more confident, more passionate.

When he breaks away from you, you’re left speechless. For a while you look into his eyes and he into yours, no words necessary. You give him another kiss, before laying back down into his strong embrace. Finally you were here and you’d never want it any other way.

Contempt. That would be the word closest to what you felt. Happy, too. As you lay there in his arms, listening quietly to him telling you about the stars, stories from his time in the service, anything really, you can’t really imagine life being any better than this. Soon you find it hard to keep your eyes open, Frankie’s deep velvety voice almost hypnotic.

After yet another story about how he and Santi pranked Will, he laughs softly. He’d never told anyone that story. There’s just something you that makes him want to tell you anything, share every part of himself with you. With you he could be himself. You even knew the bad things about him, and you were still here.

Gently caressing your hair, he leans down and give your forehead a soft kiss, a huge smile adorning his face.

“Querida, I… I hope you know how much you mean to me. I really like you. Actually, I… I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”

He pauses, looking up at the stars for a second, before turning his attention back to you. His heart is beating rapidly, never felt like this before.

“I’m terrified I’m not good enough for you, but I promise I will do my best, if you give me the chance. Cause I… I really love you”

Silence falls between the two of you, only the faint sound of animals rustling in the woods can be heard. Frankie gets nervous at your lack of response.

“Querida?”

Shifting a little, a soft snore fills the silent night air. You’re sleeping. Breathing a sigh of relief, Frankie just tugs you closer to his chest, pulling the blanket closer, making sure you’re warm. Damn. Hopefully he can remember the speech again tomorrow. It was kinda great, if he’d say so himself.

He smiles to himself, kissing your head before whispering a soft goodnight, falling asleep under the stars.

Thank you so much for reading <3

Tagging: @lucy-sky @fictionalnerdery @yespolkadotkitty @a-reader-and-a-writer @green-socks @loverhymeswith @absurdthirst @wardenparker @songsformonkeys @pascalslittlebrat @221bshrlocked @fan-of-encouragement @sherala007 @chasingdreamer @anaaaispunk @pilothusband @kirsteng42 @charnelhouse @radiowallet @manndo @e-dubbc11 @mindidjarin @prolix-yuy

[enmerald]

Heyy bestie! Ik this isn’t a minghao ask but I just wanted to say… I loved your Dino imagine and I NEED a part 2 😫🙏 ❤️

first of all, thank you! i'm glad you loved it!

secondly, omg i forgot i put that! i didn’t think anyone would send an ask so i put it as a joke. please feel free to ask anything :)

honestly i intended for it to be only one part but since you asked, my brain already has some ideas so i’ll try my best to fulfill your wish!

[ 05:41 ]

"love?" a deep, husky voice groggily whispered into your ear. you tried to roll over unto your back but a muscular arm wrapped around your waist held you tightly back against a hard chest.

"hmm? it's too early chan, go back to sleep."

you felt chan mutter against your hair and you smiled.

it was the morning after your second anniversary and you could feel you lower region ache from the strenuous activities the two of you participated in last night. you had been a little to excited and chan being the whipped man that he was, complied with your every whim.

in all honesty, ever since your divorce from your ex-husband, you were hesitant to start dating again, especially when chan was too eager to "court" you, as he liked to call it.

however, you were more than glad that chan was willing to wait for you to be ready. he never pressured you to rush things, even if that meant he had to start from square one.

"chan look out!" you exclaimed right as chan was about to be shot down by the enemy in call of duty. he screeched as he ducked behind you, causing you to die in place of him.

you felt your eye twitch.

"lee chan! if you don't stop being a coward and hiding behind me every time you are about to be killed, i'll tell wonwoo to replace you as my gaming buddy."

chan immediately clung unto you like a baby, looking at you with puppy eyes and pouting at you.

"but y/n!" he whined, "you promised to protect me from anything!"

"that does not include video games, you small otter!"

you gently slapped his arm and attempted to remove his grip on your waist but he only wrapped his arms tighter around you.

you looked at him, a feeling of fondness washing over you as you saw how this adult-baby clung unto you almost 24/7. you would have thought that from your first meeting, that chan would be against any type of physical affection but he proved you wrong when he would constantly shower you with hugs and cuddles whenever he could.

you smiled as you remembered the beginning of your friendship with chan. back when you were still reluctant to accept any type of physical contact, let alone a confession from him. and yet, you were beginning to fall for him even if he was oblivious to it.

"chan, i want to say first and foremost, thank you for being so patient with me when you could have just left me to deal with my heartbreak by myself and find a significant other that isn't as broken as i am—"

"y/n, i'm going to ask you to be quiet for a moment." chan grabbed your hands, forcing you to stop blabbering as his warm fingers wrapped around your cold ones.

"but..." you traced off when you saw the stern look chan sent you.

"you are the most wonderful person i have ever had the pleasure to meet. yeah, you're right. i could have left you to alone and find someone who wasn't so persistent on being slow with things but the truth is, the moment we met, i fell for you. i couldn't stand the sight of someone so vulnerable crying by themselves so i decided to invite you over to my apartment because i wanted to be the one to comfort you. i wanted to be the one to hold you close to my chest as you cried to let out your negative feelings. i wanted to be the one you chose to live your life with. so never speak so bad of yourself, you provided me with a ray of hope in this cruel world and i want you to know that if it weren't for you, i'd probably be homeless right now."

by the time chan stopped speaking, your eyes were already brimmed with tears. your heart swelled at the words chan spoke. you couldn't believe you have been given a second chance at love. and with a wonderful man at that.

"thank you so much chan."

you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his in a chaste kiss.

"sometimes i wonder why you chose to wait for me, but i'm glad you haven't given up on me. chan, would you be willing to accept me as i am? are you willing to start a new chapter of my life with me?"

chan smiled warmly at you and replied, "y/n, no matter how much you have gone through or how much you'll continue to change as you grow older, i'll be willing to be there every step of the way."

tears ran down your face but you didn't care as you leaned forward once again and pressed your lips against chan's, your salty tears falling in between the kiss.

"y/n? why are you crying?" chan's groggy voice brought you back to reality.

you wiped your tears, surprised you started to cry at the memory.

"remember when i asked you to become a part of my life? not as my friend but as my lover?" you sniffled.

chan nuzzled into your neck as he hummed.

"i remember. that was our first kiss and i remember feeling so happy finally being able to be with the person who mattered most to me."

you giggled from his nose tickling you. however, there was something you wanted to ask him.

"don't you ever wonder what would have happened if we never met?"

chan grunted, "no."

"how come?"

chan let go of your waist and turned you around, the two of you finally looking at each other.

"because there's no need to dwell in what could have or could have not happened when i have finally found the happiness i have been looking for."

you couldn't help but to let a few stray tears fall, chan wiping each one away lovingly.

"in case i haven't told you already, i love you chan."

chan chuckled but nonetheless replied, "not today you haven't."

"meanie," you gently slapped his chest and started to turn around again when he pulled you forward and pressed your head against his chest.

"i love you too, y/n. today, tomorrow, and forever."