#I hope I don’t have a blood clot because my sister did from her bc and it nearly killed her

[cherrysnax]

I need to go to the doctors soon

[tinyyoungblood]

hi!! adore your work love. could you maybe do smth where stark!reader has to get her wisdom teeth out but HATES the dentist so she brings her boyf peter and her dad w her?? and then when they get home the avengers are all waiting with like comical amounts of flowers and stuffed animals and then reader says some funny shiii and thor thinks she’s like dying lol. idk if that made sense but i’m getting my wisdom teeth out soon and i’m scared😭 thank u so so much love u babe

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

a/n: tysm lovely :,) i rushed through this like my life depended on it, but i hope i’m not too late. either way, i hope you’re okay! it’s frightening but those bad boys gotta go because we don’t need that kind of energy in our lives. enjoy x

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

wisdom teeth? more like wisdoom

y/n has to get her wisdom teeth removed and it’s the singular most dreadful thing she’s ever had to do, which says a lot because her dad is tony richling stark

doing dreadful things she doesn’t want to do but still somehow end up doing just because she can is a personality trait at this point

no one really makes a big deal out of it since ~death~ is part of their job description, but y/n is terrified

and when a stark is terrified the only thing that will keep them one step from insanity is researching the hell out of it

that information will be info dumped into every conversation for the next few weeks leading up to the appointment

“y/n you need anything from the store?” "no thanks, did you know the side effects of getting your wisdom teeth out include ✨sudden death or blood clots✨ tho” “……..i have a coupon?”

the day of the appointment, peter comes along and literally doesn’t let go of y/n’s hand. he keeps touching her to let her know that he’s there and it’s so. adorable

he would rest his hand on her knee, gently stroke her back while holding her, or just play with her hair

happy drops them off and he’s too Cool™ for emotions but he knows y/n’s a wreck, so he just fist bumps her with a single nod and she almost breaks down bc it’s really affectionate

y/n is sitting in the dentist chair and genuinely nothing is happening yet, but she’s squeezing peter’s hand like it’s a sponge

peter might have a high pain tolerance but he’s in pain pain and he prays that his hand won’t just explode on him

the dentist notices how peter tries to keep it together and chuckles

“you okay there, son?” “yea it’s fine, had a better time when a building fell on me tho haha” “pardon?” “oh i mean i didn’t have a good time, i just had a better time”

because y/n is running Anxious Town™, the dentist gives her a sedative to help her relax 

plus, an injection of local anaesthetic to numb the tooth and surrounding area

she doesn’t feel anything and it’s GREAT

the procedure is quicker than expected and now the real fun begins

she tries to walk but she falls down so peter scoops her up bridal style and happy stays glued at her side

y/n doesn’t mind although she literally doesn’t recognise them and they’re practically strangers to her

but girly sees an opportunity and tries to flirt with peter bc why wouldn’t she

“you’re pretty” *blushes* “why thanks” “you should let your girlfriend know” “i should let her know i’m pretty?” “so you do have a gf? :(” “yea it’s you” “:)”

they stop for gas and peter goes in to get some water for y/n, and in her infinite wisdom, she decides it’s burger time

her mouth is completely numb and she’s practically leaving a trail of drool behind her, but she’d kill for a burger right now

so she wobbles around aimlessly for an hour on some random parking lot as if the ground might just magically open up like a rabbit hole and lead her to five guys

she’s going places. not back to the car. definitely not five guys. they’re closed. but places

peter finally finds her and he’s drenched from head to toe in sweat. he doEsn’T wAnt tO tALk abOut iT tho so she lets him take her to subway instead

normally, she would know that peter’s usual subway order is bread-lettuce-jalapeño

but in her drugged-up state, it had simply slipped her mind so now she’s staring at him like he’d just murdered someone right in front of her

“that- that’s your order?? no meat or anything just bread, lettuce, and a little spice?”

meanwhile at the compound, sam and steve are ordering everyone around bc they want to decorate this place before y/n gets home to surprise her

they take it very seriously too. they’ve watched like one HGTV show and said it’s our time

they finally get home and tony gives y/n a big hug, asking her what took so long

happy tells him that she was keen on getting burgers bc apparently someone has taught her that stressful times call for ~cheeseburgers~

he proceeds to look at tony with a pointed look

tony just shrugs and goes “she was a problem child. we don’t mention her dark past”

she’s swaying on the spot and keeps grinning like a fool and thor just stares at her weirdly before elbowing bruce and whispering loudly,

“what’s wrong with her? is she dying? should i start collecting leaves, i know this remedy—"

no one can tell if y/n is just happy to see the newly decorated home or if she’s just delighted to see everyone but then she goes around hugging the entire team

she doesn’t even acknowledge the sky-high pile of teddy bears and flowers everywhere bc she’s just squeezing everybody

y/n is so high, she just starts to spill all of her feelings about everyone and they’re already so overwhelmed by the hug chain they can’t take this too

“wanda i just want you to know that you’re like my big sister and you’re always taking care of me and i know you and vision are just going to make such good parents one day”

“bucky you absolute PRICK, you FIEND, you’re the best chess player ever and that’ll never change and i wouldn’t be good without you, i hate to say it but you deserve happiness even after you made me lose five times in a row yesterday”

“dad, you’re so strong and smart, even though we’re like never on the same page, you’re always along for the ride, i want to be like you when i grow up, i swear i’m gonna try to be as good to the avengers as you were to us” “aww- wait makes you think i'll be the first to die“

“nat you’re such a bitch about your protein shakes but you’re my best friend and i wouldn’t have it any other way, you can try out as many make up looks on me as you want”

“bruce, brucey, i would live with you in your lab for the rest of my days if i had to, whenever you ask me to hand you stuff i feel useful and important”

“laura’s way out of your league clint i have no idea how the fuck you got her but don’t lose her and i want to be your next child’s godmother”

“steve…we’re your family now. we’re always gonna be your family now. okay?”

“loki you’re not fooling anyone with your attitude, we all know you’re part of the family, you were just misunderstood and messed up bc of your dad–FUCK him by the way–but i realised everyone deserves as many chances as they need because of you”

“sam i would genuinely kill anyone who wronged you, even if they cut you in line at the grocery store, i would knife them no hesitation”

“thor, you poor golden retriever have been through so much, on my way here i made a wish on an eyelash for you bc you deserve better, your postcards always make my day, love you”

she mumbles something to peter that no one else can hear but he blushes and chokes back a sob

y/n orders hot soup and bucky brings it to her but before he even has time to react peter drops everything and ZOOMS across the room in .3 seconds

he barrels into bucky so hard they both go flying, but peter just smoothly rolls out of it and onto his feet like some kind of super ninja

“DUDE WHAT THE HELL” “😠 y/n is not supposed to drink hot liquids 😠”

all of this happens in mere seconds but sam has filmed it all and now slow mo clips go viral online of some mysterious kid knocking over the winter soldier

y/n’s a little in and out after that, but when she fully regains consciousness, she’s on a pile of blankets, surrounded by the team on the floor <3

* * *

let me know if this is actually comforting lmao stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

[pocketramblr]

Poll Results

Alright, that’s it, i’m tired of trying to sort the answers so yall just get the big list of all the free response answers to that quiz about ofa. be aware some are less safe for work than others.

memorable ones: OfA Snickerdoodle, I’d Give It To A Cat, So You Know Vore Right?, I’m in Love With Nana, Slicey Blood Oath, and Homoerotic Sword Fight

(My answer above is how I think it did happen, not how I want it to happen.) I personally think something along the lines of a Bruce Banner Jennifer Walker blood transfusion where the OFA holder doesn’t realize they’ve passed it on until later.

a tender kiss. perhaps loving. perhaps they're dying, and i already knew that they loved me, either platonically or otherwise, and we always knew that i'd be next. perhaps they tried so hard to make sure it never happened, and perhaps that tender kiss as an apology as much as it is a gift. sure sucks to be gay i guess 

Peacefully? By doing the do and making it a wonderful moment of lovemaking and passing on the future.. If we're in the middle of battle you bet your freaking butt I want them to kiss me dramatically, tell me they love me, and then yeet me away as they turn back to the fight. Ow but relationship goals. 

If we're not romantic because I am obsessed with the Duo Holders ship currently, blood works fine. Ingest it or have them pressing a bloody palm into a wound of mine *shrugs* Gotta pass it along somehow

Personally, I'd rather drink blood instead of hair. It feels less gross. But I'd pass it on as hair just to fuck with my successor

Hair or blood eating, but no touchy-touchy or whatever thx.

Probably a vial of blood so it’s easy and over quick

kiss 👉👈

i would like it to be blood from an already opened wound just cause it would probably less weird, ..........but knowing my luck and because irl my sister has attempted to feed me her baby teeth by shoving it to my lips and saying "eat", thats actually how i would get ofa. ( >:/ i have almost eaten at least two teeth this way because i thought she was being nice and giving me candy )

Consider: doing one of those blood oath things where you swear to be BFFs for eternity except now you also get a quirk out of it. But lbr kissing is way more romantic and you’ve made First/Second my new OTP, so I’ll stick with that for them. <3 But also, maybe to make the kiss option more romantic First thought something more along the lines of wishing he could give ~everything he has/all of himself~ to Second which counted as including his quirk, rather than specifically about giving him the power to defeat his brother?

This is going to sound gross but all ways of transferring DNA is. Just work up a sweat and have the other party drink it. It would probably be the best tasting option which is kinda a weird thing to think about. Nvm sweat doesn't contain DNA looked it up but I don't want to delete all of this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe a scraping of skin cells

Honestly the hair is probably the way I'd want to go. That or blood. Like just swallowing it.

Look, i know realistically it was probably some desparate on-the-brink-of-death "please defeat my brother" thing and oo, magic he gets the quirk. But consider. First's last fight with afo. Second is holding his bleeding body, crying. First gently cups Second's cheek and pulls him into a bloody kiss before dying. Second pulls himself together just long enough to flip off afo, barely resisting the urge to absolutely slaughter him, knowing he would lose. He finds his successor and trains him to the best of his ability, determined to not lose another person he cared for

I mean like dead skin cells probably dont work right? Except hair works so thats not true. So like you totally could lick someone to get OFA. Like could you imagine the whole holding your hand over someones mouth to shut them up but they lick you and they somehow wind up with your quirk, like crazy. What must have been the trial and error with this stuff cause they must have kept passing it inbetween each other to figure out its dna right. How long did it take for them to realize. Like you’re eating breakfast and theres a hair in your food like ew and why am i stronger now. Overall, comedic timing for getting a quirk would be hilarious.

My apprentice lays broken and bloody beneath me as I cradle them in my arms, crying on to an open wound on their face praying the power will be enough to save them

little bit of skin like a hang nail just like put it in a sandwich and dont thing about it

Put it in my coffee.

If I received it from Nana then I would love to have received it via eating her out~ though for passing it on to others I think I would just either spit into their mouths or shove a bleeding finger down their throat until they swallow and then run and get myself killed by AfO while taunting him with "I DON'T HAVE YOUR BROTHER'S QUIRK ANYMORE! SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT DICK YOU LOSER!"

knock me out and just inject the blood. if i have to actively think abt ingesting someone elses dna im gonna yeet myself into the ocean. to pass it on i'll just spit in a cup (or in their mouth) bc im not gonna make someone eat my hair nor is anyone getting my blood

who in their right mind would trust me with a power like ofa 💀afo just looks at me funny the quirk is his. im not a mc for a reason

Sexy battle where I’m the villain, and randomly the hero thinks “I wish I could save you”. Boom I punch them with bloody knuckles and the quirk passes to me. Now the hero has to teach me how to be good again. Also we fall in love.

You know, I always assumed I would head canon it as something romantic until canon proved me wrong But these options are so varied - I had to choose the most Dramatic (tm) one As for my actual answer: a gentle kiss with full consent from both parties

I will bite a holder as a sign of affection. There's probably some dead skin cells in the arm I can swallow by accident. They are used to this and sometimes we switch the quirk around for funsies.

You know, I spent like 10 minutes trying to think of something original here, but knowing my shit luck some bastard would spit in my drink or something and cast upon me the Curse of Bone Breaking and/or.... y’know..... AFO...........

okay this is gonna sound weird but. consider this i marry a very lovely women. we are in much love. we get attacked by evil people because she is a good hero but plot twist. i am secretly her nemisis. the attackers are my minions. i wanted her to protect me because i am very smol but. my comrades were too mean. she is nearly dead. "take this" she says. she kisses me and i am one for all. fuck, i say internally, but i dont tell her. she dies in my arms. i run and become vigilante and take down my once comrades. all is not well. i die unsatisfied. i eventually pass it onto a cat in an alleyway because they are the only one who is with me when i get hit with a back alley sniper

Blood or just like. skin. You could use nail clippers to take a bit off from a really fleshy area, like just under the nail. It's that easy

Spit in my food like an underpaid fast food worker.

i have long hair so that would not be ideal, but blood seems kinda...unsanitary, but i guess it would be better if i was 100% positive i wouldn't pass on some sort of disease. so if that could be ascertained then like a few drops of blood in a glass of water or something and then down the hatch, bam ofa passed on. i know other folks are probably typing some nsfw stuff but just. no. keep it in your pants y'all.

Blood transfusion First, pick a hospital Second, steal all their blood Third, have the previous user donate their blood to that hospital Fourth, get into a major accident and need a blood transfusion near the hospital you robbed Fifth, hope either OfA will only pass onto you bc your the intended recipient, or that no one else needs a blood transfusion Sixth, get the transfusion Seventh, steal all of the previous users blood back Eigth, return all the other stolen blood Ninth, get new identities, this crime leaves DNA everywhere Tenth, die of a blood clot due to incompatible blood types (optional)

okay realistically bleeding into a cut or a drop of blood into water and drinking it would be easiest but like... what if somehow dna could be baked into like a muffin or cookie or something... like i know when cooking with wines and stuff the alcohol cooks away and evaporates out but is that process the same for like blood? like if you baked your blood into a cookie would traces of your dna still be there? basically i want an ofa cookie (snickerdoodle preferably)

no i like my bones

drink a drop of blood. it'd go down easier than hair

no

Something dramatic and desperate in the heat of battle like blood or something

First of all, I think First passed OfA as he was dying entirely on accident, because Second was badly (though not critically) injured and they'd been sort of dancing around each other's feelings and doubting their own worth, so First, knowing he was dying and that his brother was a petty bitch who would probably kill Second anyway because he knows that First cared about him, kisses Second with blood on his lips and his last thoughts before dying are about how he wants Second to have the strength to survive if his brother comes after him.

If I was given the option of getting OfA, I wouldn't take it. I'm a coward and being given something like that is a death sentence.

If it was forced, probably ingesting the previous users blood, because blood is a lot easier to choke down than hair.

If I already had it and had to pass it on, I would want it to be something suitably dramatic like collapsing on the doorstep of a trusted loved one and explaining with my dying breath who killed me and why and then raising my blood covered hand to their face like I was going to caress their cheek only for them to taste blood. They cry and try to get me take it back and when I finally die they swear vengeance over my slowly cooling corpse.

Pass it on in a non-life threatening scenario where I decide I actually don’t like the weird bone breaking power a random person gave me as they were dying and wish I could pass it to someone else and through a weird set of circumstances end up accidentally cooking some of my own hair into brownies I was making because I shed like a dog and passing it to my new neighbor I came to welcome to the neighborhood.

Either drinking a glass of milk with their saliva (no icky hair taste), or an epic sharing of blood while clasping hands like knights in a noble brotherhood!

not by eating all mights long ass hair thats for sure, why did he give midoriya one of the longest ones he had, he has shorter hair right there on the back of his head. not to mention the fact of like how i would prefer to recieve it or give it away which would be just, fucking sharing a pop or something and swaping it through the backwash??? less nasty than hair and not as weird as the other options for spit which is like straight up spitting in a drink or the other persons mouth outside of kissing. if someone told me i had to eat their hair i would straight up say no thanks, cheers for the fitness glow up tho homie

I want nana 2 kiss me, on.,, the m,,,.."#*(@÷out.h pretty lady.,

Q-tip to the inside of the cheek

Those blood pacts where you slice your hands open and do a little handshake thing. Not very creative, but idk it just appeals to me

Via consumption of blood, babey

I would want it to be with a maybe maybe not homoerotic sword fight in a Wendy's parking lot, preferably while we are both being impaled on each other's swords. The sweet pain of almost dying is a very intense moment to share isn't it?

Sweet love

Hair

If it's someone cute, a kiss. Otherwise I'd probably just swallow a hair with some water.

i'd just like. spit in their water bottle. if thats not enough dna i guess licking a paper cut it is. hair is bad idwa bc it doesn't digest and can get wrapped up in things. and like. im too aroace for kissing and such

Last option, cause first is sexy as hell

okay you know what vore is, right. and you know how blood and organ transfusions work? well...

Not at all, like?? I enjoy being alive and not having my body destroyed thank you. Literally everyone with OfA died young-ish or has suffered debilitating injuries bc of it. Like Midoriya's bones are powder, and we don't even need to go into All Might's medical history. Like thanks but no thanks no freaky dna ingestion 4 me

Had a open cut from a can lid and ofa holder had an open cut. While lamenting about fins a successor.

Blood

Assuming we can bypass the rules of canon, it would be funny as fuck is OFA was passed on by intentional physical contact. So yes, a smooch for First and Second (and Second and Third) but also. Bitchslap of destiny. Nana giving her protege one last hug. All Might ruffles Mido’s hair like a dad to pass it on. I’m sure you get it

Bleeding over an open wound

lil bit of spit in a milkshake.

I hold their hand Platonically but it's summer and we're both sweaty and they're a little loopy and having weird thoughts due to dehydration and heat lmao, literally hanging around anyone for any extended period of time guarantees you accidentally ingest SOME of their dna. Dead skin cells are floating through the air ~constantly~ and if you have a friend I promise you've inhaled their dead skin cells before. Have fun with that knowledge!!

ok so like deffo a kiss, but in canon people get weird biological urges for using their quirks, like bby Toga drinking bird blood. First has had a LOT of "spit in their drink" intrusive thoughts over the years. immediately post first-kiss he is mystified that his intrusive thoughts have disappeared entirely, but then BAM it seems that second has the stockpile now, and with it, a preoccupation with vampire lore

drink from the same water bottle?

“EAT THIS!”

Pass it on by making them lick my arm because that would make them rly uncomfortable, passed to me by spiting in my 20oz Red Bull and then chugging it

[florenceandthemachine]

broken Tumblr asks part ??: in which I think I figured out that adding a read more into the asks are what breaks them.

anonymous asked:

the team makes Buck cry. send tweet.

hi anon I really am sorry if you were hoping for some hurt / comfort bc uh. this is just the hurt. xoxox

also my love, thanks, and eternal devotion to @buckleydiazs for giving it a quick beta 💖

Buck was on cloud fucking nine.

For a year—an entire year—he had been stuck in the doctors office, twice a month, while they ran test after test after his… multiple accidents. Blood tests, lung tests, flexibility tests, he had been poked like a pincushion and stretched like a rubber band, he had been through physical therapy, occupational therapy, and just regular therapy (hell, he was still in regular therapy), and now finally, finally, he was finished. 

“So, you don’t show any signs of abnormal clotting and your risk for a second pulmonary embolism is low. As far as your ankle goes, but you’ve regained full mobility, and as much as I wish I could take all the credit for that, I know you’ve been working your ass off in therapy. Congratulations, Mr. Buckley.”

He was cleared. Fully out of the woods. Clean bill of health. 

Finally, finally, after a year of hell, he could put everything—his crushed leg, his bleeding lungs, his stupid lawsuit—behind him. Finally, he could breathe easy, easier than he had in a year, and the only thing he wanted to do in the entire world was share the news with his family. 

Normally, Maddie would have been first, but he always felt bad about tying up a dispatcher when he called her at work. Her shift ended in an hour or so, though—like his normally would have, if he didn’t have his schedule switched during doctor days.

Well, if he can’t tell his sister, he can still tell his family. 

“Hey, Chim!”

Buck is all smiles as locks his Jeep, his medical release in hand, jogging easily to catch up to Chim’s retreating backside. Buck grinned as Chim turned around, raising his brow. “Hey, do you and Hen have a second? I wanted to show you both my—“

“Oooh, sorry, no can do Buckeroo. Hen’s taking her MCAT’s in two days, I have every second of her free time booked solid with studying.”

Buck faltered a little bit as they walked, raising his brow. While he really was proud of Chim for doing a full 180 so quickly—going from feeling betrayed to supporting a friend was no easy feat, and Buck knew that as well as anyone, but he also knew that a full day of studying wouldn’t do any good. 

“Come on, Chim, I’m sure she can take a break to—“

“Noooo, Buck.”

“Chim.”

“Buck, seriously. She’s been working too hard for this, and I’m not having you break up her flow. This is important to her, you get that right?”

Of course Buck got it, but…

“I’m not going to let anyone ruin this for her.”

….ruin it? He just wanted to share some good news.

He understood that Hen had to study, and that her upcoming MCATS were really important to her, but this was important to Buck; and for Chim to jump straight to that degree made his heart sink a little bit with each beat, his head traitorously whispering to him ‘what if Chim is right?’. Hen had been one of his biggest supporters as he got off of blood thinners, as he started back into his various therapies, and he had thought he returned the favor, helping her study in his free time whenever he could, and helping her take her mind off of things when she needed to as well—maybe his distractions were more harm than good, but he knew Hen well enough to know that if no one pulled her away from her work, she just wouldn’t eat, sleep, go home, any of it. Was it really that bad that Buck wanted a minute?

He felt his smile start to slip so he hitched it back up, nodding his head. “Yeah, sure, I… okay, just hit me up when you’re all done, I guess?” He said, hoping his voice sounded more confident than he felt. It must have worked, because Chim clapped both of his arms and turned away, leaving Buck standing there for a moment before he shook himself out of it.

It was fine. Hen wanted to study, that was important. Buck tried to pump himself back up as he took the stairs to the loft two at a time, reveling in the simple act of fully rolling his ankle. He tilted his head as he heard Bobby’s voice spill out of his office, turning on his heel to his next target. Besides, Bobby sounded frustrated—some good news would do him good, or so Buck thought. 

“…no, I don’t—no, we can���t just take—wait, what? No, I will not hold!”

Buck almost laughed as he knocked on the Cap’s open door, smiling when Bobby waved him inside.

“Look, forgive me if I’m not entirely sympathetic, but when we’re down an engine, and you can’t tell us when repairs will be done—well then you’d better transfer me to someone who can!”

“Everything alright, Cap?” Buck couldn’t help but smile as Bobby strangled his phone, sighing in defeat when the plastic wouldn’t yield. 

“You know, Marty was a crook in the end, but damn, he was a good mechanic. What’s up, Buck?”

Buck winced at the reminder of the nearly would-be heist, humming thoughtfully as he waved his full release forms. “Well, this shouldn’t take long. I got back from the doctors today, and—“

Bobby’s groan cut him off, hanging his head in his free hand. “No, Buck, no. I can’t have you sick right now, and nothing good ever follows ‘doctor’.”

Buck laughed, but Bobby kept going, the stress of the day and being down an engine clearly getting to him as he continued on. “And the last time I heard “doctor” from you, it was followed by lawsuit, which—yes, I’m still holding, hello?”

Lawsuit?

What the fuck? 

Buck reeled back like he had been slapped, the smile frozen on his face even with Bobby’s clear dismissal. He was glad that he didn’t have to say anything else, at the very least, because his throat felt hot and tight and it was all he could do to stay steady as he pivoted on his heel, walking out of the office. 

He hated the fact that that was the first thing Bobby brought up, but he hated even more how much that dark cloud was still lingering over his head. If Bobby would be so candid when Buck was barely two words in to saying something, who’s to say what choice words he had about Buck when he was gone? 

The lawsuit was the worst part of his life, the biggest mistake he had made, and he couldn’t wrap his head around it being thrown in his face when he was ready to walk in and share what was the best news he had ever received. Is that… all he would have here, all he would have been able to look forward to?

He started back down the stairs, his legs acting independently of the rest of his body, a dull tingling spreading through his chest as he finally sat down. He didn’t know if there was a happy medium between cold and numb (‘shock’, his mind provided, ‘you’re in shock’), but whatever it was, he was deep into it.

God, he had honestly thought that was all behind him. How fucking stupid was he to think that he was going to be able to come back from a mistake that huge, even a year later?

“Buck?”

He could feel himself starting to panic—loathe as he was to admit it—but as per usual, Eddie was a step ahead of the game without even knowing it. Even now, just hearing Eddie take a few steps closer to him started to ease his heartbeat, and he swallowed a few times as he nodded, fighting off the headrush as he was able to breathe again.

“Hey, Buck, you good?”

“Hey, Eddie, uh…hey!” Buck stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, paperwork forgotten next to him as he tried to smile. If anything, he knew—he knew to his very core, he knew, he… he prayed Eddie would be able to share this little victory with him. “Eds, you have a second to talk?“

Buck almost swallowed his tongue as the alarm sounded through the station, his jaw clicking shut as footsteps started to come down the stairs. 

“Hey, we’ll talk later, yeah?” Eddie called, already heading to his locker. It was all Buck could do to hold it together, nodding his head as he waved them off, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when the ladder pulled out of the station.

--

Eddie may have had a good start on his day, but Buck did not. 

He had woken up, kissed Christopher goodbye as Carla brought him to school, and less than ten minutes later, he had a brown envelope in hand, with a curt “You’ve been served”.

Shannon’s will was being contested. The will that Eddie didn’t even know she had. By her father, who Eddie had only seen twice in several years of marriage. 

The will was simple enough—a few grand left to Christopher’s college fund, a small pair of earrings to her sister, and that was it. There was nothing to contest, in Eddie’s mind, but contested it was.

He looked over the paperwork twice, and it made less sense the second time around—as much as he hated to admit it, the worst part of it all was knowing that Eddie was going to be alone at work again, because Buck had another day off scheduled in the books. 

So yeah, he may have been a little grumpy as he threw a few weights around in the work room for the start of his shift.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Eddie was spiraling; he couldn’t understand how someone could be so bitter, so selfish, to try and stop a few thousand dollars from going into a college fund for their grandchild. His mood only soured as his shift went on, there were no distractions, no calls, nothing to help him pull his head out of his ass, and no one he could talk to. Chim had almost bitten his head off when he said hello to Hen that morning, Bobby was dealing with yet another broken down, tax funded nightmare, and Buck—

And Buck was here. 

“Buck?”

Eddie did an honest to god double take as he saw Buck sitting on the bench, like he had been summoned from the depths of Eddie’s mind, even though he looked like he was in a state of shock.

“Hey, Buck, you good?”

He couldn’t lie, it made his heart skip a beat when Buck smiled at him—even if he could tell that Buck’s heart wasn’t in it. 

Before he could say anything more, the alarm sounded through the house, and Eddie was about a step away from fully losing his mind. “Hey, we’ll talk later, yeah?” He said, trying to give a small smile as he started to double back to his locker.

The call, to put it mildly, had not gone well—any fire call where the main focus wasn’t the fire was bound to be troublesome. A ten year old had started a fire in a laundry room, which should have been simple enough, except it was the same laundry room that he and his brother had apparently been locked up on for months. 

Suddenly what started out as a fire call turned into fire, medics, and police, and Eddie felt his hands start to shake as he worked with Hen to revive a ten year old boy. Barely older than Christopher. It wasn’t the first time he had seen abuse face to face, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last, but something about it was working him up more than usual. He was glad his shift was almost over—the only thing he wanted to do was go home, hug his kid, and sleep.

“—ooh, Mads, they’re back, gotta go. Hey, Eddie!”

He knew he was in deep when not even hearing Buck’s voice could brighten his mood—it was all he could do to hitch a half-hearted smile onto his face as he stepped off of the spare rig.

“Good call, right? Maddie said it sounded like everyone should pull through.”

Eddie just felt himself wind up tighter as he shook his head, rolling his jaw to force himself to keep it loose. “No, Buck. It was not a good call. It was a very bad call.” Bad didn’t even begin to cover it. Eddie could still feel his heart in his throat, feel a tiny body in his arms as Hen started compressions.

He was too wrapped in his own world to notice Buck falter, clearly thrown in the conversation. “Well, hey, if you’ve got a second—“

“Come on Buck, give it a break. I just want to get the fuck out of here as soon as I can.”

Pulling his boots off, he tossed them with perhaps a bit more force than needed into his locker, missing the way that Buck’s face shuttered. “You too, huh?”

“‘You too’? The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Eddie, I just wanted to share some good news, and—“

“Well things aren’t just good or bad, Buck! Just because no one died does not make a good call, and just because things are bad right now doesn’t mean I have to be cheered up. I’m allowed to be pissed off. I’m allowed to have one fucking minute!” Eddie snapped, chucking his jacket against the hamper in the corner, jaw clenched so hard he would have been afraid of cracking a tooth if he was in his right state of mind.

“So please, tell me what is so god damned important that I can’t see my kid until you tell me.”

The moment the words left his lips, he knew it was a mistake. The only person that loved Chris as much as Eddie was Buck, and he knew that, saw that more clearly than ever as his white hot anger dulled into something more manageable. He swallowed as he turned around, and… fuck, Buck wasn’t even looking at him.

“…Buck, I—“

--

“Clean bill of health.”

Buck couldn’t bring himself to look up up as he tossed the stack of papers onto the bench, doing his absolute best to keep himself composed as he spoke, his jaw tight and brow furled. 

He had been so proud of himself for avoiding a panic attack while they were on the call. He had never gotten them before this past year, but between the earthquake, tsunami, Maddie’s kidnapping, and bomb, he had become fast friends with the crushing weight. But he had done well—he kept himself above water, so to speak, and when he called Maddie he was proud to say that his voice was almost steady, and prouder still when she congratulated him for his job well done in therapy, demanding he come over and celebrate tonight. 

Well, even if he couldn’t count on his family friends team, he could always count on Maddie. It was a small joy in the world, but right now, it felt like it was all he had.

“Officially back to 100% mobility in my crushed ankle, officially out of the woods for another clot. Did you know it would take me a year to be clear of another embolism, because I refused blood thinners? Well, I figured you might, since you’re been running calls without me, every other week for a year, while I sit in a hospital room.”

Buck finally brought himself up to meet his teammates eye as Eddie’s frustration started to give way to confusion, and that, that hurt more than anything else today. Had anyone even realized why his schedule changed every other week? Did anyone care? “And alright, like you said, it might not be that important to you all but—“

“Buck, you—“

“But it’s really fucking important to me! All I wanted to do was share the good news with the people who are supposed to be family, my team, and instead all I got was blown off, snapped at—Eddie, I mentioned the word doctor in front of Bobby and his first concern was if he had another lawsuit on his hands.”

Buck was mildly aware that he was shaking—he had never really handled stress like this well—but the bigger concern was the tightening in his throat, that sinking pressure he felt right beneath his lungs. He could handle a lot of things, but that didn’t mean he could handle crying in front of Eddie quite yet.

“It’s been a year, Eddie, and I thought things were getting better, so what gives? What did I do, what have I done to deserve being treated like this? I’m serious, please, tell me, so I can fix it!”

Buck’s voice was reaching a fevered pitch as he gestured around the locker room, feeling himself splinter as he begged, literally begged, to know what he had done—why his work had meant nothing. Would he be mortified later? Probably, but everyone had a breaking point, and Buck was realizing (belatedly) that he was past his.

“All I wanted to do today was share a victory with my team, at least share it with you, you’re supposed to be my best friend, and I—I don’t get why—“

If Buck could clearly see Eddie’s face, he might have laughed at the pale, slack jawed, panicked expression before him. As it was, though, his eyes were starting to burn, and even as he reached to rub them, his body finally gave up, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“Why is everyone being so fucking mean?” 

Buck didn’t bother with another platitude as he pushed past Eddie, rubbing tear tracks off of his cheeks. He felt his face heat up as he stormed out of the firehouse, fumbling for his keys, and heaven help any member of the 118 who stood in his way. 

--

Buck was crying.

The team had made Buck cry.

Fuck, Eddie had made Buck cry. 

He just stood in the locker room as the sound of Buck’s Jeep faded into the distance, feeling his heartbeat throughout his entire body. All Buck wanted to do was share some positivity with the team, and Eddie had… eviscerated him. He bent down to pick up some of the papers Buck had left behind, his heart falling even further (as if that was possible) as he read over the paperwork.

Fuck.

“Hey, Eddie, is Buck in here? Chim said he wanted to talk to—woah, what’s wrong?”

The sweat on Eddie’s skin had cooled (hell, how long had he been standing there?) and guilt sunk heavier into his stomach as Hen walked into the locker room, with Chim trailing behind her. Eddie’s eyes were still glued to the release in his hand, barely noticing as Chim spoke, staring down at his phone. 

“Uhhh… why is Maddie telling me to camp out with one of you tonight?” he asked the room as a whole, sharing a confused glance with Hen before they both locked eyes on Eddie, who… well, who probably looked as bad as he felt.

Which, considering Eddie felt like he was about to cry himself, was saying a lot.

“We fucked up. I fucked up. I think—I think we broke Buck.”

And he had no idea how to fix it. 

[fanthem]

I was tagged by @matthewmohawk - Thank you  ❤  ❤  ❤

What’s your favourite musical? Phantom of the Opera (It used to be West Side Story but I’ve taken @papasdeathblossom twice now and made or helped make her two costumes inspired by PotO so it’s pretty special now.)

How do you get to sleep? I lie down and commence death simulation

What happened at the last party you went to? Party? HAhahahahahaha!!! Last thing I went to even close to a party was a wake sooooo........

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Yea, it’s a horrible habit. I smoked for 12 years, a pack and a half.....gross..... I quit cold turkey and the occasional cravings never go away.... DON'T START.... (PSA)

What’s your hair like at this present moment? Grey roots

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? lying down?

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen? OH GAAWDD!!!!!! STAR CRASH!! SERIOUSLY, IF YOU WANT TO TORTURE YOURSELF GO WATCH IT. I F*CKING DARE YOU... YOU WILL NOT LAST 5 MINUTES AND I ACTUALLY SAW THE WHOLE THING IN THE THEATER AND WILL NEVER GET THAT TIME BACK.

Are you an untidy person?  Hahah.... yeah, kinda

Have you ever been a fan of*NSYNC? oh boy. no, but bye bye bye was pretty catchy

Do you watch a lot of television? It’s always on bc I have tinnitis and my ears ring all the time (too many concerts without ear plugs kids) it helps mask the ring in my head

Do you think you’re fat sometimes? I *AM* fat

Do you like to flex your muscles? I flex my feet so I don’t get a blood clot on long road trips.... who came up with these questions.

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery? Now, but I could use a make over for sure

Have you ever completely misunderstood what someone was saying? well, yeah, my ex-husband.... all the time, but he can barely speak in full sentences, soooo.

Favourite kind of cake? Carrot Cake - I’m f*cking old

Was it a boy or girl to text you last? boy

Name something you are doing tomorrow? Grilling pork steaks, drinking whiskey, and attending a Naruto run

Do you sleep on your stomach? Sometimes

Where are you going to be at 4PM tomorrow? At home

Last time you saw fireworks, with whom&where? 4th of July, our alley with @papasdeathblossom

Are you missing someone? Oh....... yeah..... *looooong pause*.... yea

Do you like horror or comedy? I like thoughtful, suspenseful horror and subtle, non-toilet humor comedy

Who did you last share a taxi with? my family

Dogs or cats?  I like both but dogs are super special to me

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon? Sitting in a small box in the office

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I don’t think I will ever be one. No one wants this.

What’s your favourite season? Why? Autumn, it’s why I named my daughter Autumn.... Why? Halloween, the smell of the decaying leaves, pumpkin everything, hoodies...... but there is a little stress too, because I really HATE what follows. Winter is my nemesis.

When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? I don’t know. I don’t willingly or purposely do things I know are wrong.

Did you have any unread messages when you woke up this morning? no

Who was the last person you hugged? @papasdeathblossom

When was the last time you cried? Today.

Who was driving the last time you were in a car? Me

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My shoulders and knees

Do you like your bed? I like it when I’m in it.... getting out is a bitch.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? God, I hope not. But I think I did. It was a huge mistake I don’t think I will ever be able to make up for.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? It’s been years unfortunately. We love each other, but it’s complicated.

Do you ever want to know which person you are going to marry? I know who I married. It was a mistake and I lost 30 years of my life

How much cash do you have on you? $20

Are you tanned? Yeah...... part Cherokee.

Did you get any compliments today? nope

Have you ever gone to court? yes, I got hit and ran and had to chase the f*cker down and drag his lousy unlicensed ass to court.

Do you get jealous easily? Not really. I’m too numb for those kind of emotions.

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks? wtf

What are you going to do on Saturday? Same thing as I’m going to do tomorrow.

What is in your back pocket? I don’t have a back pocket on my panties or nightgown. lol

What were you doing at 3AM this morning? sleeping

What do you usually do first in the morning? Pee

Are you good at math? I can’t math well.

Any plans for Friday night? naw

Do you have a little crush on someone? All the time

How old is the last person you kissed? Like love kiss? idk... I’ve mom kissed my kid

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because she’s amazing and I am grateful to have her in my life.

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

[newenglandpups]

So I’ve been kinda MIA

And the reason for that is because my depression has reared its ugly ass head again and I can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything aside from the bare minimum to just get through the day. 

I’m also finally making an appointment to go see my doctor and figure out wtf is up with my body. 

For those of you who don’t know or don’t remember, my dad had an operation not long ago to remove a thyroid duct cyst and during the surgery they found a mass on his thyroid gland. The whole gland ended up being removed just in case and after a biopsy of the mass, we found out it was in fact cancerous. However, they luckily caught it before it spread anywhere so he doesn’t need any further treatment aside from taking synthroid for the rest of his life since he no longer has a thyroid gland. 

* this ended up being a super ranty long post that’s super personal so if you wanna read the rest of it, it’s under the cut *

My mom has always been suspicious that I (and now my sister) have something up with our thyroids but when I went to my doctor about it when I was 19, she brushed me off. I’ve always been kind of on the heavier side despite the fact that I eat well and am an active person. When I started college I started going to the gym on campus with my friends a few times a week and got serious about what I was eating (until that point I’d eat.... okay... but not great). I even went completely vegan for a few months. But didn’t see any changes at all. After almost a year of constantly going to the gym, eating well, cutting out alcohol and soda, I had lost a whopping 5 pounds. Which is so negligible that like wtf is even 5 lbs come on now. 

So I went to my doctor and explained this and she asked me about what kind of exercise I was doing and what I was eating. At the time, I was going the gym and running on the elliptical, since I can’t actually run IRL on like on a treadmill bc my shitty ass knees can’t handle the impact, for an hour 3-4 times a week. I was also eating far too little per day for how active I was (aside from the gym I also worked in a kitchen part time and was still horseback riding at the time). So she told me to up my caloric intake and switch to doing more resistance/strength training instead of strictly cardio. 

And I followed her advice to a fucking T girl. After six months.... nothing. Like no fucking change at all. So I went back to the doctor and explained this to her. At this point, I was feeling so defeated and was hoping for some support. What did she tell me? That I must be lying about something. She basically didn’t believe me when I told her how & what I was eating and how much I was exercising. I asked her to please run a thyroid test and she said there was no reason to think that was necessary, but she did take some blood to check my blood sugar levels, because obviously if you’re a thicker girl then clearly you have diabetes. Except I didn’t. My cholesterol was great and so was my blood sugar. She said that I must just be stress from being a busy college student and suggested upping my anti-anxiety meds. 

I never called her back or stepped a toe back into that office. Since then, it’s been a fucking battle with my body and over the past year, I’ve definitely gained a lot of weight and am the heaviest I’ve ever been. 

Except I’m getting married in the summer and girl I wanna look good for that and for my honeymoon. So I’ve been working out again regularly AND with my new jobs, I’m on my feet more than I ever have been. Like okay here’s a regular day for me: 

-Go see dog walking clients; that can be 1-3 hours of walking around (mostly uphill bc hey it’s hilly here) depending on how many clients I have to see that day - Go home and walk my own dogs for 40 minutes to an hour - Then I either go to private consults where I’m moving around and playing tug with dogs and running around with dogs, or I’m teaching classes where I’m also constantly running around and squatting down to deal with this dog and then playing tug and dah dah dah dah - Go home and either do yoga or hit the gym and do some weights depending on the day

Like.... before Scarlett chewed my FitBit to death (RIP baby), my average steps per day was between 15-20,000. So like..... you’d think I’d see SOME kinda change. Especially because I got a better meal plan figured out and have been eating right and just... nothing. No change at all. 

My body feels physically exhausted all the time- mostly because another big problem is I can’t fucking sleep like a normal human being; my hair refuses to grow and gets thinner and finer every day; and now I wonder if the random depressive episodes I get into are purely just because my hormones are all out of whack. My therapist always seemed confused by the weird depression I have because it comes completely out of nowhere. Like, given the shit I’ve been through in my life yeah having depression would be understandable, but I’ve worked through all of that shit and I keep working through it and I’ve dealt with it and moved the fuck on and out from it. He had also been telling me I should go to the doctor and get shit checked out because yeah I have an anxiety disorder, that makes sense, but the depression is always so random. I’ve been on Seasonale for like... 6 years now I think? And I really wonder if the reason my problems aren’t more severe is because that keeps a large portion of my hormones extremely regulated. That was one of the reasons I started taking Seasonale in the first place- because I was so hormonal and was experiencing these crazy mood swings. And yeah it definitely got wayyyy better after I started the Seasonale (not to mention my periods are gone so no more crazy heavy bleeding and clotting and immense pain) but I’ve always wondered.........

One of the reasons I haven’t gone to my new doctor about all this is because I’m scared. I’m scared she’s going to be like my old doctor and not believe me, I’m scared that what if it isn’t my thyroid and what if nothing’s wrong with me... then I’m just stuck like this? Ugh, girl no. Plus medical stuff is a huge trigger for my anxiety anyway. I’ve always had bad experiences. Your knee hurts? Well girl, get ready for three surgeries, multiple full leg braces, and have arthritis at 24 years old. Weirdness in your ear? Oooooh girl you gotta go get a CAT scan NOW because it might be a blood clot and you could stroke out and DIE. That last one led to one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had and is the main reason I’m so scared to go to the doctor now. That feeling of knowing that something might be seriously wrong with you, that something could potentially kill you at any moment, was utterly terrifying. 

So anyway this has been super longwinded and personal and not dog related in any way whatsoever but if you care the huas are good and we’ve been working on some foundational stuff for agility again, which I’m hoping to get them back into soon. 

Also planning weddings, even our non-wedding-wedding, is the actual worst thing on this earth and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies. 

[swearronchanel]

continuing the hiatus with 4.05

Well I'm here avoiding responsibilities as usual, pretending that I don't have class in the morning or any laundry to do but like I said I've been watching shameless and I need a little wholesome ctm to balance it out lol & @ilovemushystuff recommended I watch 4.05 *thank u 😌*but let us go on this journey together 🙃...

the clothes lines remind me of home bc we don't have a dryer in our apartment haha & when it's cold out my mom hangs everything up around the house it's a hilarious nyc struggle lol

my bby shelagh!! 💕 so precious pushing the pram! omg we get to see this again next series *hopefully* with unnamed baby turner 😭!!

aw I miss summer!! I love being out in the summer *plus my birthday is in August*🙃

Ahh aren't we glad Shelagh got new dresses, cause I'm not feeling this one lol

Jenny Agutter's smile w/ her eyebrows raised >>, am I right

Wait this is the osteogenesis imperfecta case right ??

Laura looking angelic but that is not at all new, I just have to always mention it

Now all I can do is stare at her hair bc of this debate earlier 😂 what color?? 

but damn I don't like this dress either I forgot how disrespectful the costume designers were in series 4😂😂

Patrick grabbing her hand saying thank you ugh so pure 😭😢

"Two weeks in Lyme Regis does sound nice" ugh Shelagh's so adorable but LETS HERE IT FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT™ BC SHE DIDN'T EVEN REALLY ASK TO GO ON  HOLIDAY EVEN THOUGH SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO & IN THE NEXT SERIES SHE PLANNED THE WHOLE DAMN TRIP WITHOUT TELLING HIM👏🏼 LOVE IT lol even though camping was a disaster

It's been 3 fucking mins and look at all the shit I've said wow I hate me

Pats and Trix!! I miss their friendship

Haha omg this is right after Trixie and Tom broke up #awkward

"Wild peach, isn't it glorious?" I love my other bby trixie. We are so similar but she's better 💕

PHYLLIS OUT HERE YES

"Roasted like a Sunday dinner" LMAO

aw this is the episode with the Sylheti mum, here's some quality early Babs

SISTER E 😭😭😭 I miss her aww

Omg &Sister Mary Cynthia! she just became a nun aw I miss her being so happy 💔 I hope she's in the Christmas special or Series 7 Premiere

"Ready?" ugh I just think of all the times we're heard that, like Trixie asking Shelagh when she was about to get married *hello my two favs interacting its iconic for me* or when Trixie told Sister MC off she wanted to ask her if she was ready when she went to become a postulant like if she was getting married,  my heart 😭 UPDATE: I made a post about it

speaking of my gal Beatrix here she is again

I want to be that platinum blonde tbh

Sister Julienne saying "little man" yes I'm here for this such thing

little Raymond like ST Raymond or the baby that was left on the steps .. wait what happened to him? I forgot lol it's been a while

I do not like Sister Mj's absence

but yes her nephew! Did he just like stop picking her up??

Aw Trixie wanted to hug sister MC I can tell, nuns can hug though why didn't she?

we were robbed of a cute sister MC & sister W young- nun dynamic duo

but I like sister Winifred so much more now she's lowkey golden

Diphtheria yikes

LMAO FRED HAS A DU RAG ON ??

I forgot that the old nurses uniforms were so washed out looking

sweetie, if a ANGLICAN NUN is telling you the baby needs more than prayer wouldn't you believe it ??

like wtf is Christian scientist anyway, yo no se

lol calm down Barbara that's a lot to translate

woah Pat's looks hella good with her hair like that 😍

my bby Trixie serving looks but is heartbroken 😍😢💔

THE PICTURE OF HER AND CYNTHIA!! THAT IS NOW ON HER VANITY MIRROR !! MY H E A R T

*twerks to the bicycle song*

"She says where he goes, we go - even the moon" ahh again my heart!! & it's so similar to what shelagh said in the last Christmas special 😭💕 *i think it was a bible reference but I can't remember bc my memory is fuzzy from being a reckless heathen* jk jk😂

How does a faja type belt help her?

I initially really liked Trixie and Tom but I'm so glad they found better matches

yo I'd be shook though if my baby's bones kept breaking and I didn't know why omg

The nurses being cute eating popsicles outside lol

aw wait Fred and Violet weren't together yet here, they're so cute haha

again so wild, like imagine no one knowing what your baby is hurt and no one believing that you didn't abuse your child?! I cNt

so scary

Ameerah is so pretty & how sweet omg she brought Babs a dish. She misses having girl friends omg!

The Poor Pentergasts

I feel you Mrs ^, I scream into my hands at least 3x a day *for obvs diff reasons*

Baby Angela💕💕 so precious

aw Patrick & Shelagh😭 but now that shelagh's been on her nightie game this blue nightgown should finally go #hereforthebrinylon™

Shit now Patrick is going to realize and blame himself

let Patrick not feel guilty for anything in series 7, cut this guy a break pls

osteogenesis imperfecta yup I remembered ✔️ well I remember watching this with my mom & her calling if before they knew it and I was annoyed bc She can't just watch she always has to be a nurse & put her opinion out there😂 like we watched the finale yesterday and I thought there'd be some suspense but nah she knew the pill gave her a deadly blood clot😒she was surprised they killed the first women described it to though

Shelagh's face while Patrick gets in the ambulance 😭💔

I miss the nuns singing !! mainly miss Laura singing but still!! it's very peaceful you feel?? let me hear some hymns

I feel you Patrick, you smoke that cig

Alright damn Mr Pentergast, I feel your anger but wtf were they supposed to think??

I get anxious watching Patrick be anxious tbh omg xzjkalsfo

the way he fidgets the pen so relatable

Shelagh kissing him on the forehead and the cheek 😢😭💔💕melts my cold little heart

"I don't want my Geraldine being seen by the receptionist" fuck u lady she's the best damn nurse out here Lmaoo

But seriously did everyone just forget she was a nurse/midwife when she was a nun? it has only been like a year since she left and got married so I wouldn’t think people would forget just yet but maybe? wtf lol. I feel like their story was such gossip that it'd be unforgettable? that's just me Lmaoo

Go get that uniform Shelagh!!!

she's so patient, dios te bendiga. She’s too good.

my angry self would've been like "do 👏🏼 ya👏🏼not👏🏼get👏🏼that👏🏼I 👏🏼was👏🏼 a nurse 👏🏼and 👏🏼delivered 👏🏼like 👏🏼half 👏🏼of 👏🏼your👏🏼 gremlin 👏🏼 children?!" Or "you don't want me to help? Okay there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out"!

SHE'S GETTING THE UNIFORM PEOPLE

okay I don't think I've ever thought about it until now but Shelagh talks about Patrick's war neurosis with Sister Julienne like she already knew?? I bet Shelagh went to her after the adoption interview 😭

ugh I love their friendship/relationship it's so pure

This whole show is so pure! how can it remind you of the darkness in the world while still giving you faith in humanity??  There's nothing like it

I told you I caught my mom up with series 6 & she was just like "I can't believe we have to wait so long. Why can't America make a show as great as this?"

I then said "I know I have like no reason to live until Christmas" but she said i was being dramatic oops

*cue in the mirror*✨

SHE'S PUTTING ON THE UNIFORM PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

you guys don't get how happy this made me when I first saw it omg, I was so tired of seeing her sad/upset and lost and distressed and everything but happy but THEN SHE PUT THE UNIFORM ON AND THE LITTLE HAT AND LOOKED IN THE DAMN MIRROR WITH HER MILLON DOLLAR SMILE AND I WANTED TO COMBUST I WAS SO HAPPY I WAS IN TEARS😭😭💖💖

SHELAGH TURNER DESERVES THE WORLD AND MORE, I WILL ALLOW NO ONE TO DISAGREE

AND IF U DO WE CAN FIGHT RN

I'm so proud of how far my bby has come ugh I can't deal

It's 1am why am I being a little emotional bitch™ ?? Ugh I just love this character

I'd fight for Shealgh or Trixie/ Laura and Helen in real life. They are gifts we don't deserve

BUT ALSO, YOU MEAN TO TELL ME ALL THESE PEOPLE DIDNT BELIEVE SHE WAS A NURSE & THEN SAW HER IN A NURSE UNIFORM THE NEXT TIME AND QUESTIONED NOTHING???

Like I know it wasn't the same people but still word gets around?

Shelagh and Tim's hug aww

Can we pls see a cute moment between them? We were played with that hospital scene in 6.4 bc it was like 2 seconds long

Patrick's pyjamas though >

the flat filled with things from patients is so sweet aww

How did no one else in Ameera's house get sick though?

Angela looking so adorable wow what a pretty baby

the real million $ question is, will we ever see Mrs B? Probs not Lmaoo

Still waiting for the day Timothy Turner has an angsty teen moment bc his unrealistic perfect child-ness has been going on too long

Disregarding that time he was mean to Shelagh in series 3, I won't forget it bc I wanted to smack him 😂👋🏼

*shelagh voice* Dr Turner's back to save poplar from ill health and disease

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SHELAGH WHEN HE REALIZES IT WAS HER IN THE NURSES UNIFORM

ALSO I'm sure he realized a kink he didn't know he had lol 😭😂

tracheotomy 😬 how do they make it look so real ahhh!? wild

"..Because I have you" BYEEEE 😭😭💖💔💔💔 my heart melted into a puddle & I can no longer live

the first kiss that you can't even see !! But still it took a season & a half for the married couple to kiss!😂

Ok shh Vanessa is gonna say something profound I must hear

Who tf am i talking to? I'm losing my damn marbles

And yes that's a Hook reference

"Humanity is fragile and all the sunshine in the world can't save the frail or make the delicate invincible but love has the power to strengthen and protect and guide us to a place where we feel sheltered and fulfilled. Where it doesn't matter if it rains for we are home and dry"

UGH SUCH GOLD!!!

And Shelagh holding Angela next to Ameerah and her new baby, my heart!!

such an amazing show

The End.. until next time..