#I honestly just wanted Mary to get with Sebastian

[crazy-god-bunker-jughead]

Reign like. Didn’t make sense, was completely historically inaccurate, and had some really weird themes but it was perfect for me senior year of high school because it was PEAK insane drama. Like yes of course literally every man is in love with Mary, have you seen her? The King literally thrusted so hard his lover fell out a window. Sebastian had to watch Mary have sex with Francis while their dad was right there. It had me CHEERING for these girls to get with Middle Aged men because it was so gripping.

I didn’t like S2 as much because literally every character cheated on their husbands and I didn’t think the sexual assault subplot was handled very well. But honestly it was all worth it for Mary to burst into Conde’s war camp to be like “I’m PREGNANT and you’re the FATHER and you have to protect me from my husband because I still LOVE you” and then turn around and stab him because it was all a trick.

[bwoahtastic]

Princess cake my beloved!!!! Okay okay I don't remember if we had them in this AU, but princess cake in the regency era a la Bridgerton.

Like the diamond of the season icy princess Nico (Rule 63 or not both can be something so soft) being expected to mary THE bachelor of them all Lord Lewis Hamilton (cause yeah Brocedes needs to be there!)

And they know each other since their childhood days. Except that they don't understand each other anymore and that Lewis said really hurtful things to Nico once when they argued about something stupid really (He didn't meant it but it came out that way).

And thus Nico categorically refuses to even dance with Lewis at different bals. Lewis frustrated flirts with anyone just to make sure that Nico sees him.

Nico for his part is like I couldn't care less, well he pretends too. And one day after Lewis flirts once again with the foreign Lord Sebastian Vettel, Nico feels like it's too much and tries to get out on the balcony to compose himself.

There he finds a man calling himself Jenson, simply Jenson. Jenson is nice he doesn't try to flirt with him or anything, just offers to listen to him and comfort him. And honestly? That's the best night of Nico's life for a while now. Jenson makes him laugh and he feels so valuable in Jenson's presence. Like Jenson actually sees him and not trying to whoo him because he's the diamond of the season.

They starts to see each other at different bals without asking the other about his last name or their family. Then they by chance encounter each other during a stroll in the park that Nico was doing to avoid people. They spend their entire day together, and Nico starts to fall in love with Jenson.

Ofc Lewis is made aware of that by George. At first Lewis is angry and he doesn't understand why. But he knows he doesn't want to see Nico with someone he doesn't know. George suggested investigating Jenson, but he's selfish he hopes to find something so damaging that could by ricochet damage Nico's reputation so bad he is named Diamond instead.

Lewis isn't even involved he trust George to investigate this Jenson, for the sake Nico's wellbeing of course.

George finds nothing, except that Jenson is incredibly unlucky. So he fabricate false proof of Jenson being a criminal from another country.

When Lewis sees those proof he immediately goes to Nico's to show him and warn him against Jenson. But what he find is Nico about to get kissed by that criminal.

Plss Nico being such a beauty so ofcourse he js the diamond! She seems mild mannered and like a perfect little wife to be, but those close ti her know she is very very sassy!

She has known Lewis all her life and they assume the diamond will marry the Duke. Problem is, Lewis and nico clash a lot and one day Lewis says something mean about nico just being a girl or never becoming more than a mother and Nico refuses to acknowledge him ever again!

Lewis starts go flirt with every other candidate ever and nico pretends to not be jealous hut she is. And then he sees Lewis flirt with Seb and she is furious and upset and jusr a little lost, scared about her future. The she is calming down on the balcony and meets Jenson, who is kind and actually listens to her! They meet at more balls and during promenade and they get along so well! They chat and don't even care what the other background is. They just enjoy each other's company.

Meanwhile Lewis heard about it and is upset. He has complicated feelings about Nico and has known her long enough to also just want her to be happy! Meanwhile George offers to help cos he is a little jealous of Nico, but also cos he is in love with Lewis. He makes up a story that Jenson is a criminal and Lewis goes to warn Nico but finds her in Jenson's lqp about to be kissed! Lewis accusing jenson of being a criminal and Jenson snd Nico are both baffled.

Maybe jenson is actually a Prince from another kingdom? 👀 and he just explained so and proposed to nico and nico accepted... they are bound to leave soon and Lewis breaks a little hearing it. He has known for a while that he couldn't marry Nico, it wouldn't be fair to either of them and they would clash too much, but he is upset to lose her as a nearby friend...🥺

[dadbastiandisaster]

First of all, thank you all so much for the nice reblogs on the Claude Headcanons, post, second of all

✨🌸 Hannah and the Triplets Headcanons 🌸✨

Hannah is the only Demon in the show I imagine as being very old and very powerful. She could kill Sebastian and Claude with both hands tied behind her back and it wouldn’t even be difficult for her. I also think she is a fallen Angel, unlike all the other Kuro Demons who I headcanon as humans who went to Hell

Conversely, the Triplets are all fairly young, only a couple of hundred years old, and especially individually they are fairly weak

I read on someone’s headcanons (possibly @eemoo1o-animoo) that they were one Demon broken into three, which I think is really cool, so I guess my other idea would be that they were a human soul that either as punishment or just be happenstance got broken into three

My personal headcanon is Demons can’t have kids, they just start existing, so the Triplets aren’t technically siblings, they just popped into existence in roughly the same region of Hell and have been together ever since.

Hannah saved their lives in Hell and they will now do pretty much whatever she says. They were also the first of instance of Hannah just being like ‘I’m your mum now deal with it’ (I’m electing to ignore all the weird shit about Hannah’s boobs - remember, Marie Kondo approach to canon)

She didn’t realise that what she felt for Luka was maternal love, and not hunger for his soul, and she does feel sorrow that she killed him. She had mostly taken contracts with less than pleasant humans that she was always more than happy to dispatch, so she’d never really spent much time around children.

She both wants to protect Alois from Claude for Luka’s sake, and because she felt she lost her chance to raise a child in Luka and so she sought out Alois.

She’d definitely try, but I honestly don’t know if Hannah would do a vastly better job than Claude. Other than anything else, since she barely talks to Alois, so she doesn’t really know him all that well, and he is a very different person to Luka

Also she’s approximately a bajillion years old so she definitely has 0 moral compass, even less of one than Claude or Sebastian.

The Triplets sometimes switch their partings around and pretend to be each other to fuck with Claude. Problem is, Claude doesn’t care which is which as long as things get done, so like, nobody’s winning

I think the Triplets do the ridiculous Cockney accents as a joke.

When they speak to others, they have to speak in turn. They will not speak individually. No one knows why.

Unlike sort of Claude and definitely Sebastian, Hannah has no issues reconciling her maternal feelings with her being a Demon. As previously mentioned, she is a bajillion years old and could probably kill people with her mind so she has absolutely nothing to prove. Also she has experienced all the murder and bloodshed one could ever hope to and maternal love is something relatively new to her.

Basically Hannah is mum and she’s a cool lady who can stab things and she is unfathomably old and powerful with no concept of puny human morals

Hannah is she/her and I think the Triplets are of the ‘whatever pronouns make the joke land’ persuasion.

The Triplets will obviously always side with Hannah, especially if it screws over Claude (Claude is a dick to them because he doesn’t want to deal with them and also he makes them do chores) but they really don’t have much in the way of personal stakes in the whole thing so they’re kind of just vibing

The Triplets don’t like Alois, but in an annoying younger brother way. Plus he stabbed Hannah’s eye out, so they have mild beef with him for that. It’s just as well because combined their forces of chaos would simply be too strong.

It would be cool if they were the Demons of threes, or trios. Since 3 is such a significant number, maybe it has a number, and maybe that’s why the human whose soul they were mad from was split?

Much like Claude, they do what Hannah tells them to but they’re not especially house proud.

Sebastian Michaelis, who lives at the Phantomhive manor & cleans 10,000 floors each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Much like Claude, they just do not get why Sebastian puts so much effort in. Frankly, they think it’s weird.

They definitely fuck about when no-one’s looking

Actually entranced by light switches.

Pretended to be repelled by crosses to Alois until Hannah told them to stop.

Tldr: the Trancy Manor is chaos as well

Might make more of these at some point, but rsi is hitting to so here we are. Hope you enjoyed

[monsterhunting]

I like your fanfic and we share some of the same ships. Do you have any book recs? My tbr list is long but I don't mind adding more books

firstly: thank you so much!!! secondly i have TONS of book recs. honestly i could’ve kept going but i was getting a little crazy so lemme stop here. thank you for asking!!!

fiction:

the lincoln highway by amor towles: bildungsroman, beautiful story, satisfying ending, long but worth it

ask again yes by mary beth keane: family drama, turning point halfway thru that made me gasp and screech

such a fun age by kiley reid: a Black babysitter gets stopped by a grocery store security guard and a video of it goes viral and a bunch of other stuff also happens. lots of really good discussions on racism. her other book that just came out this year was really good too!!!

fantasy/sci-fi:

the last binding trilogy by freya marske: finally read these a few months ago and i loved them so much 😭 great romance great characters exciting plot with high stakes FOUND FAMILY!!

silver under nightfall by rin chupeco (and the sequel court of wanderers)… vampire couple x vampire hunter throuple of my dreams what more can you want

ocean’s echo / winter’s orbit by everina maxwell: queer scifi romance!!!! stand-alones set in the same universe but both are great

station eleven by emily st. john mandel: this is a pretty well known book but it was GOOD! takes place in a post-apocalyptic world and centers on the importance of living as opposed to just surviving and also the beauty of creating and sharing art ❤️

romance:

cat sebastian writes really good queer historical romance, I’ve read like 6 of her books this year. we could be so good and the ruin of a rake are my favorites so far

lex croucher!!! she has three historical novels, one is a sapphic romance (I’ve only read two) and then she has a YA called Gwen & art are not in love that’s a queer Arthurian legend retelling

love hate & clickbait by liz bowery: m/m fake dating where the two MCs are politicians who kinda suck and are trapped in a PR stunt. a better red white & royal blue. i’ve read it like 3 times

sarah hogle is my oomf but also writes great romance. you deserve each other and just like magic specifically

the charm offensive by alison cochrun: the new bachelor falls for the producer of the reality show instead of his contestants. probably my favorite romance ever. also great asexual rep!!

horror:

the lost village by camilla sten: a group of people filming a documentary go to an abandoned village where everyone in the town just up and disappeared one day and were never seen again and weird stuff starts happening. i read this in like 2 days. also i based the town in the stoncy ghost files au off of this lmao

the whisper man and the shadows by alex north: crazy as fuck plot twists that made me close the book and run around my house. he has a third book too but unfortunately I didn’t like it very much

night film by marisha pessl: reporter obsessed with elusive director who’s daughter just mysteriously died investigates director and his family. very good mixed media element and very immersive

mister magic by kiersten white: child actors from children’s tv show mister magic — a tv show that ended suddenly and tragically, with no surviving video footage or evidence of the creative team behind the show whatsoever — gather together for a reunion as adults. kinda like if IT by stephen king was combined with a weird creeypasta and throw in some religious trauma also. sooooo good

graphic novels:

check please! by ngozi ukazu: duh

bubble by jordan morris: guardians of the galaxy esque but also a criticism of capitalism. very fun

hooky by miriam bonastre tur: i DEVOURED these last october. perfect cozy fall vibes. just a cute fun story. they’re technically for children but idc 😭 so many characters and i loved them all, i can’t wait to reread again in the fall

[theaterpug-writes]

I'm currently working on four unpublished WIPs (two X-Men [Alternate Timeline Movies], one X-Men [Original Timeline], and one Doctor Who) and my published WIP (The Life and Times of Peter Maximoff). So I might post little tidbits and random story ideas as I go along if anybody's interested.

For the Alternate Timeline movies, there's an Anya-lives-but-Erik-doesn't-know-it-but-Shaw-does AU set in the X-Men: First Class era that I can't say much more about because it relies on a lot of twists and conspiracies to do with both Sebastian Shaw and Emma Frost, and a dadneto reveal where Lorna shows up to the mansion and tells Erik he's her father before Peter gets the chance to tell Erik that he's his father. So it's mainly Peter watching this relationship between Lorna and Erik develop and not wanting to somehow ruin Lorna and Erik's relationship by revealing his secret (it's honestly been my favorite to write so far).

The Original Timeline Work (that I currently have named Destiny and will probably keep that way) is a post-The Last Stand fanfiction about Mystique and her life up until being killed by the Sentinels before DoFP. She falls in love with Irene Adler AKA Destiny, tells Kurt she's his mother, gets her powers back and becomes a mother to Marie, who is terrified as the cure is wearing off, all under the backdrop of the rise of the Sentinel program.

The Doctor Who one is post-Tales of the TARDIS; Jamie McCrimmon tells his children and grandchildren about the Doctor and all of the adventures he had, but his youngest daughter is the only one of his kids who believes him, and only after a great deal of convincing. Just a sweet one-shot with an open ending(?), I'm not quite sure if it counts as one.

The Life and Times of Peter Maximoff might get a few chapters rewritten and condensed, and I'm adding way more multiversal mayhem coming up, the whole thing's been plotted out since its conception, and it's about to get wild.

Let me know if anyone is interested in updates and various plot threads/ideas for these works. Hopefully I'll get at least one of these out before October is up, it's the pseudo-due date I gave myself!

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB's Masterlist 03/02/2023

Peaky Blinders

Series:

In This Heart >> Tommy Shelby x OFC!Estella Holland - Summary: Two souls, forever bound in the multiverse. 

Ted Lasso (Coming Soon...)

Drabbles:

I'm Falling Too (coming soon)

Chris Evans

One-Shots:

Never Just A Kill >> Chris Evans x Teacher!Reader - Summary: Chris really just wants a kiss but honestly the reader knows better, a kiss is never just a kiss.

His Favorite Day >> Chris Evans x Reader - Summary: Chris’s favorite day of the year is your birthday.

Steve Rogers

One-Shots:

Can I Have This Dance? >> Steve Rogers x Reader - Summary: 4 times the reader asked Steve to dance with her and one time Steve her.

You've Been Everything >> Steve Rogers x OFC!Orchid Black - Summary: They haven’t shared a bed in months, the snap has changed them both. There is no one to blame.

Blurbs:

I'll Stand By You >> Steve Rogers x Reader - Summary: Steve Rogers will never leave you, no matter how dark your past is.

Series:

It Takes A Village >> Steve Rogers x Reader - Summary: The saying "it takes a village to raise a child," never rang more true. (coming soon.../TBA)

Bucky Barnes

One-Shots:

Take On Me >> MusicProducer!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader - Summary:  Reader gets asked what is the most romantic thing she could dream of Bucky doing for them, Bucky pulls out all the stops with the help of their friends.

Maybe 107 It's So Bad >> Bucky Barnes x Reader - Summary: It’s Bucky’s birthday and the gangs all here to throw him a party but the thing is he’s just not that into it. That is till the reader gives him his birthday gift. 

I Hear A Symphony >> Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader - REQUESTED -- Summary: Reader plays an important song to her for Bucky. 

Everything's Gonna Be Alright >> Bucky Barnes x OFC!Stark - Summary: Bruce snaps everyone back into existence and Thanos is gone. 5 years have passed and many things have changed for Remedy Stark, she’s an older sister, her dads gotten married to her mother figure and she isn’t sure where she fits in it all.

Drabbles:

Oven Mitts >> Mafia!Bucky x Reader — Summary: Bucky just wanted to surprise his wife with a cooked meal for being amazing.

Series:

The Spark >> CountryMusicStar!Bucky Barnes x CountryMusicStar!OFC Sparrow Lake — Summary: What do you do when the man who holds your career comes to you with an ultimatum that not only affects you but the lives around you? That is what is happening for Sparrow Lake, she thought she would start 2020 with just her close friends and family, but when Tony Stark shows up at her family’s Smokey Mountain home with fellow country star Bucky Barnes and their manager, that was not going to happen. (To Be Rewritten...)

Sebastian Stan

Better Than This (Sebastian Stan x Muscian!Reader [Mini-Series/Hiatus]

Better Than This: The Precipice [1/?] » Sebastian Stan x Reader - Drabble — Summary: Sebastian wakes to find his girlfriend missing in bed and hears music; he knows she playing music, but the story it’s telling is a sad one.

Better Than This: Another Day in Paradise [2/?] » Sebastian Stan x Reader - Drabble — Summary: Y/N, with the help of Mary, throws Sebastian a wonderful birthday Italian feast. After everyone has gone home with the assurance of Mary, he decides to just tell Y/N how much she means to him.

Better Than This: Forever & For Always [3/?] » Sebastian Stan x Reader - Drabble — At Y/N Grandmother’s birthday party, Sebastian has an extra birthday gift and the whole family, but Y/N is in on it.

Better Than This: You Song [4/?] » Sebastian Stan x Reader - Drabble — It’s a pretty rough time of the year for siblings Y/N and Bey, but they have an amazing support system who do everything they can to make them happy. Even if it sometimes includes random musical moments and tap-dancing shoes.

MORE COMING SOON...

I TAKE REQUEST...

2021 Recomendation List

[aurorawest]

Reading update

I Am Not Your Chosen One by Evelyn Benvie - DNF

Another one of those 'reads like something I would have written as a teenager' books. Definite cozy fantasy undertones to this one. I just don't enjoy the subversion of the Chosen One trope with this kind of winking, genre-aware character. I also don't enjoy when things read like video game walkthroughs.

The Charioteer by Mary Renault - 5/5 stars

I bought this because Cat Sebastian recommended it. I had actually never heard of Mary Renault, nor was I aware this book is a queer classic (FAKE BOOK FAN). But I. Wow. The basic story is a love triangle between our main character, Laurie, who was wounded at Dunkirk and is recovering at a convalescent hospital; Andrew, a conscientious objector and orderly at said hospital; and Ralph, who was a prefect at Laurie's school until he was expelled for being queer. It's so much more than that, though. Very rarely do I read a book that's so gorgeously written. I actually kept thinking as I was reading that I bet Natasha Pulley is a Mary Renault fan, because the prose had that same aching quality.

It's not an easy book to read—there's as much that's unsaid in the dialogue as what's actually said (probably more, actually), so you definitely have to read carefully. And of course it was written in 1953 so blah blah blah problematic something or another. With that out of the way, please, please read this beautiful book.

Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders by Aliette de Bodard - 3.75/5 stars

I don't think my rating is entirely fair, because I haven't read the main series that this novella is based on, so it was very much getting chucked into the deep end of a world that I didn't understand and wasn't ever explained, because familiarity was assumed. That said, I still enjoyed it. I might eventually pick up the main series just to see how Thuan and Asmodeus got together.

Liar City by Allie Therin - 4.75/5 stars

Honestly, the only reason I didn't give this 5 stars was because I wanted more romance. I'm hoping assuming there's going to be another book and that this is a slow burn romance between Reece and Evan. Might flip a table if not.

The Ministry of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy - 4/5 stars

Obviously a book called The Ministry of Utmost Happiness written by Arundhati Roy isn't going to be a lighthearted read, and surprise, it wasn't. What was weird, and very am-I-in-the-matrix, is that the day I started reading this, someone referred to the conflict in Kashmir as "their little conflict" (for those keeping score, it was the same lady that said lab created diamonds have no intrinsic value; clearly a real winner of a human being). Then later in the day I started reading this because it had risen to the top of my TBR, and it's...largely about the conflict in Kashmir.

Our Favorite Songs by Anita Kelly - 4.5/5 stars

Man, I really like Anita Kelly. This is only the second book of theirs I've read but I just really vibe with their style. This was a super quick read. I hadn't read the first book in the series, but that didn't seem to matter at all.

Never Whistle at Night edited by Shane Hawk and Theodore C Van Alst Jr. - 3.75/5 stars

This is an anthology of Native horror stories written by Native writers. Some of these stories were REALLY REALLY good, but there was a run of pretty bad ones in the middle that kept me from rating it higher. There was one in particular that was like...did someone owe you a favor because this is straight up awful. But the ones that were good were very creepy and unsettling. There's also one that was less a horror story and more just a horrible story. I didn't think it really belonged in this anthology but I really enjoyed it regardless. Good spooky read.

The Emperor's Bone Palace by Hailey Turner - 4.75/5 stars

The end of this book wrecked me. It's the middle book in a trilogy so I'm hoping for a happy ending in book 3.

The Venetian and the Rum Runner by LA Witt - 4/5 stars

Irish thief meets, works with, and falls for an Italian underboss in Prohibition-era NYC. This was a slooooooow burn and the romance at times almost felt secondary to the rest of the action. But I enjoyed it and felt like the historical stuff was really well done. Plus as an Italian-American I always appreciate reminders that there was a time when Italian immigrants weren't considered white enough (fun fact, I've been subject to more anti-Italian sentiment in my life than homophobic sentiment). If you're looking for a light hearted historical romance this ain't it. I was kind of shocked by the body count, and some of the deaths really got to me.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 220

First things first: Reader shout outs to

@israfel00

@freakfagot

@lwgph

@butterflies-orgasms

A couple of these names are not new, but I still wanted to extend some appreciation.

Also, thank you to @baelpenrose for helping me get over the over-thinking this chapter and the next one or two.

Content warnings on this chapter for:

Mention of Nazis

Mention of genocidal acts

Mention of the “Saffron Terror” which is not the politically correct name for the event but is, unfortunately, the one that leads to accurate results on Western Google. (Please tell me the correct name if you know it, and I will change it. I hate having to use that name so that people can look it up and get the facts)

Historical recounting of being in a concentration camp. It was way worse to hear in person when I was fourteen years old, and the details are worse, but the facts are accurate. Unfortunately.

Due to the number and severity of the warnings, TL;DR: Sophia and Parvati talk. Parvati isn’t ready to come back to work yet, but they meet at the Undine to talk things over.

Still working on the buffer, but... happy new year, everyone.

The day after I pitched the concept of giving everyone on the ship the chance to pitch every functional idea they had as alternatives to outright killing the Eko-mari once we were on the planet, Parvati sent me a message that she wanted to meet and talk on neutral ground. As much as I wanted to believe this was a coincidence, there was a non-zero chance that she had been copied on the recording of the session.  If it meant she was willing to talk, however, I honestly didn’t care.

That is exactly what I reminded myself hours later, when I was sipping a drink in the Undine and evaluating the merit of the soft music that was playing.  It was something with soft horns, very mellow. I kept expecting it to crescendo, but instead it would smooth back out like a lazy river. Very good choice, overall.

“Seriously?”

I was snapped out of my soft, grey headspace to look up at a dark and disappointed eyebrow.

“It’s virgin,” I told Parvati, wiggling my bloody mary at her.

She shook her head and took a seat. “I pity whoever your doctor ends up being. Your blood pressure must be insane.”

Snapping my fingers, I winked at her. “Joke’s on you. My blood pressure is around my ankles somewhere, always has been. Super efficient kidneys or something. Tyche’s even worse off.”

“Must be nice,” she whistled softly.

“Spoken by someone who has clearly never had to genuinely worry about fainting every time they stand up.” I cleared my throat. “But you aren’t here to talk about my health. How are you feeling?”

“Not ready to come back to work, for sure,” she sighed, waving Sebastian over. “Wine, please. Just bring the bottle. And a carafe of water.”

He glanced at me and held up two fingers. Draining my salty tomato juice, I nodded. “No rush on coming back to work. You’re only missing the riveting world of housing assignments and bivouac suit inventory.”

“Thrilling,” she deadpanned before smiling gently. “I do plan on coming back, just not yet.  I need some perspective that isn’t coming from the Council or someone adjacent…. I’ve basically been couch-surfing for the past week, because I couldn’t sleep in my quarters or be around Xiomara without questioning my life choices.” She sighed again. “Xio doesn’t deserve that.”

“Parvati… Please tell me you’ve talked to her already?”

“Pfft! Sorry, Sebastian, that wasn’t about you. You’re lovely,” she responded as he returned. He grinned, shaking his head, and once he had opened the wine and stepped away, she continued. “I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t face her first. That would be beyond cowardly, not to mention cruel. No, I spoke with her yesterday, as soon as I was in the right mindset.”

Oh. “So… this isn’t directly because of the proposal to the Council?”

“Not immediately, no.  I’ll admit that this meeting happened much sooner because of it, but I was meeting her for breakfast when I got the notification. This would have happened eventually.”

“Thank fuck,” I exhaled. “Theoretically, our department is over-staffed and can survive without you. In reality, I was wracking my brain to figure out if there was anything I could do without directly reaching out to you. I wasn’t expecting you to reach out until maybe a week or three before planetfall.”

“I was pretty angry,” she admitted, finishing her first glass of water and pouring each of us one of wine. “But then I remembered someone else.”

“Who?”

She shook her head before repeating herself, enunciating carefully. “Someone. Else. I remembered Else.”

Even more confused, I cut my glance over to the nearby wall, where multiple fist-sized puffballs trundled and chirped happily in tune with the music. “Vati, you love Else. You event plan around them. What was there to remember?”

Delicately, she held a finger out and picked one up. “I was walking in the corridors, just wandering… And two people were arguing - ironically about the Eko-mari. I didn’t even realize that was what they were talking about when I walked past.” Holding the puff to her face, she nudged it with her nose playfully. “And they I heard one say ‘It’s not like they’re Else, is it?’.”

Oh.

She kept going, petting the Else-chick gently with one finger despite how upset she sounded. “And yeah, they’re cute and useful… now. But they weren’t originally. In fact, they were killing us. They almost did kill several people. It was a close call.”

As much as I wanted to politely say ‘I know’, there was no way for it to sound anything other than sarcastic.  Instead, I literally bit my tongue and let her get her mind together.

It didn’t take long. “But we actively saved them.  Not just that, we made sure they were given every chance to thrive - a nebula, a ferrous planet, and we brought them with us. Even knowing they could kill us at the time, with no guarantee that the fact would change.” Ruffling the chick elicited a trilling coo, and she smiled. “Humans do that, don’t we? We domesticated predators to the point that we can’t be happy without them… We can survive, but we would be very sad. We love and we love, to the point that we wanted to befriend a lethal emergent species and make allies of a fleet of nightmares.”

By this point, her hands were trembling with emotion, even as she stroked her cheek with the bright yellow ball of chirping fluff. “Charly and you would never go along with outright killing someone if there was any other option,” she whispered hoarsely. “I don’t understand what tells you both, and several others, that it’s the best option, but I knew even before the communication this morning that you would have found another way if there was one.”

“Is that why you’re here?”  I asked. “To find out what we understand that you don’t?”

“It’s essential,” she confirmed. “Not just to our role, but to my mind. What am I not seeing?”

At this point, I was flat out confused. I carefully set my glass down, turning it slowly as I tried to think. “Parvati,” I started hesitantly. “When we say the Eko-mari aren’t like Else… Else was emergent, right? They were basically destructive children who didn’t know any better. When a child throws something that feels good to throw, you don’t kill them if they break a window or hit their sibling in the eye with it. You teach them better, right?”

She nodded and gently placed Else back on the wall with the rest.

Bracing, I forced myself to continue. “The Eko-mari aren’t children. They were warring with people from other worlds when we were figuring out how to rub sticks together and make fire.  It was in the Galactic Curriculum, we all took it.” I paused and she nodded to confirm. “Okay, so… They aren’t children who don’t know better. They’re… they’re space Nazis,” I finished lamely.

Contrary to her quiet demeanor to this point, her head dropped back, her hands fisted hard enough to whiten her knuckles, and I could hear her teeth clench and grind from where I was sitting. After a low growl, her head snapped up like a woman possessed. “Stop. Saying. That. Word,” she hissed between her teeth. “It doesn’t mean to me what it does to you!”

That was unexpected. I blinked silently and let her keep going.

She blew several breaths from her nose, smoothing her hands flat across the table. “I’m not stupid, I know Nazis were bad. I’m pretty sure everyone on Earth was aware of that. But I did not have family or neighbors, or the family of neighbors who were impacted by it like so many people seem to have. Yes, my country sent soldiers to war. Yes, we hosted an Allied base. Our people starved in droves, but it was due to the choices of the British. Nothing new there. Nazis are, largely, academic to me. But they lost, and as you are so fond of saying, winners write history.”

“This is why I was so frustrated,” she seethed, impressing me with her ability to keep from shouting, “The Baconist Rebellion? I remember. Nihilous Rex? All too well. But even those don’t elicit that gut-level response so many of you have.” Four long, slow breaths as she rolled her glass between her hands, collecting the cool condensation before rubbing it on her throat to cool down. “But Alistair said something else… he called them fascists.” The word sounded funny, telling me it had been translated and translated back. “By the time I had calmed down, I was sitting in the Archive, trying to find peace.”

Arminta was strict about quiet in the Archives, even more so than Alistair had been. I wasn’t surprised when anyone went there looking for quiet and solitude.

“I started doing research - honest to gods, hands on paper research. After all, if what Odvub had said about the Eko-mari was true, I couldn’t trust the digital system with this.” The tension melted from her as she recalled it, and I was more than a little envious. “Topic notwithstanding, it was lovely. But I found what had been tickling my mind about fascists - what the press called the ‘Saffron Terror’.” Given the way she spat the words, I immediately logged them as one to avoid. “In the first decade of the millennium, there was a huge Hindu ethno-nationalist movement.  I remember my parents whispering about where the most recent bombing were, praying for people in whispers, and not understanding until I was older that they were praying for the Muslims who had been killed.”

She choked up, causing her to pour and chug two glasses of water before she could compose herself. “I was the Germans,” she whispered. “My family weren’t the Nazis, but we were definitely the Germans. Not even the kind who can say we hid Jewish people.”

“Vati…”

She snapped her fingers in front of my face. “No. We do not pity me. We do not. I learn, and we move forward.” Snap, snap, snap. “I am better than that. Pita did not raise a coward.” Once she was sure I was listening, she relaxed slightly. “That was when I knew I needed to speak with Xiomara. I came here to understand what it is from the side of the people attacked so I can understand.”

I sat back, chin pulled tight to my throat. “Parvati…” I waved at myself: blonde, blue eyed, wide hips. “I have no clue. Only thing my family was victim of was being poor and mostly pagan. And that second one quit being a killing offense wayyyy beyond living memory.”

“Then I will ask someone else, again, as soon as I can. Why do you have such a reaction?”

“Oh, that’s easier,” I exhaled, relieved. “When we were learning about the Holocaust in school, the teacher played a recording of a woman… Miss Rose.  She had only passed somewhat recently - my teacher filmed this interview, and it was less than twenty years old at the time. Maybe closer to ten?” I thought for a moment before shuddering. “Miss Rose had survived Buchenwald, one of the concentration camps.  The things she talked about… and she was so detached. There’s something you recognize, that you identify with, when someone has survived abuse and treats it like just a part of life. But this was - it was so far above and beyond anything I would ever experience, and she talked about it like it was being spanked for punching her sibling. ‘These little holes are scars from where the mites would eat into us’. So casual…” I shook my head to snap my way out of the memory. “You don’t forget that. I’ve watched interviews with serial killers that didn’t hold a candle to the chills that video gave me. And she survived. How much worse happened to the ones who didn’t?”

It was her turn to blink at me. “What the hell is happening in NorthAm schools?” she hissed to herself before making a comical voice. “Oh, yes, let’s traumatize the children.” Rolling her eyes, she turned back to me with a softer look. “But it makes sense.  Still, you have to use a different word if you want everyone to understand what you’re saying.”

I spread my hands, palms open. “As you are aware, I am open to suggestions.”

Planting her index finger firmly on the table, she started stabbing out her points. “Just say fascist, and include a link.” Thunk. “Better yet, have Arthur - no, Simon - record a short lesson on it and send it out as required prior to voting for or against the original plan.” Thunk. “Definitely Simon, but anyway…. So people know what they are voting on, not just ‘Fascists equal bad’.” Thunk “Nils wasn’t the first to call his enemies that name, whether it was true or not.  Mandatory informed decisions are better.”

“As much as I love the suggestion, I don’t like having to explain to Arthur why he’s not doing the lesson.”

She flipped her hair over her left shoulder. “I will tell him, and make it clear he does not have a choice.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a threat or a promise, but I’m not arguing. Cheers.”

<<Prev       Masterlist     Next>>

[justanothermarimbalover]

I had to write a WW1 Sona and if I had to torture myself to write it, you will read it

To Sebastian and Mary of the Howlitz Estate.

       Today marks the grand marking of 3 months since I left home with my friends to show those Central Powers what we got. The war will end any day, and I can not wait to be just a part of the great American war effort. With every battle, we get closer, even if just by a few hundred feet, to the homeland. Honestly speaking, however, I want it to end soon. Morale is something that is slowly dying, and I have tried to keep it up, but gradually, I feel it is falling. I started writing this letter to remember my life with you, Sally, and the kids, but it just makes me cry. Sally, I miss her so much. I miss her hair; it is just a tiny aspect, but these days, I miss it more. The golden hair flowed from her head as the wind breezed through the wind. I remembered lying under the stars when I suddenly had to wave her hair away because it ticked my face. I miss that. I miss those moments so much. In the bunkers, there is no wind, only a tremble, like that one earthquake we experienced a few years back. The only difference is that it never ends. No grass is on the ground; only mud sticks to your skin. I would go as far as to say that the ground is softer than these beds we lie on, but that may just be a combination of the haunting silence with the exceptions of those mice that like to steal food. Still, however, those feel noteless compared to how much I miss them. I miss everything about Sally, and Tim, and Carrie. I miss the great picnics we used to have where we would get every person from our community to eat together. The mundane conversations we would have. Now, we all eat these rations with this type of bread, which I swear could be used as a wall replacement. I am sorry if this letter is getting to you with marks of tear stains, but as I remember more and more of how this place is torture compared to my old life, I just get more frustrated about the fact that this great war is still on. Why can't it just end in peace? What stops me from just leaving here, buying a plane ticket home, and giving everyone the biggest hug I can? There is nothing evil with that; I just want to go home. No. I shouldn't entertain that idea. That choice is for cowards, and they will execute anyone who dares go through with that. For now, I must persevere. Goodbye, I will be home soon.

From the battlefield, Rodger

[kessicasrps]

“What would I do without you?,” I ask, staring at you with an incredibly tender expression before eating a slice of pizza, my other hand wrapped around you as I kept you close to me. I kept stealing glances at you every so often, feeling so grateful to have you in my arms again. I wasn’t sure that this would ever be possible again and I was soaking up every minute.

---

(small skip)

We had been spending the last few weeks getting to know each other again, and I was really enjoying it and finding myself comfortable with you again. I was slowly starting to trust you again, but I was still having a hard time with the media getting in my face and trashing me online because of everything that had went down and because you postponed the rest of your tour to fix things between us. I tried not to let it bother me but it did eat me up on the inside. I wanted to get out of the house, so we went around town, being out and about like we used to until I noticed Eleanor coming our way. I tensed up as I held onto your hand tightly. “Louis, sh-she’s right there,” I pointed out. She still made me feel insecure even after all these years. -Jessica

I walked up to the both of you when I noticed you two. “Aww look, you two worked things out. That’s....depressing if you ask me,” I laughed. “I hope you know, he was fantastic taking care of me over the summer. He just really knows how to make a woman feel good you know. You probably forgot what that felt like. It’s such a shame, I always thought he’d be good for the bad girls, not the goody goody virgin Mary,” I smirked as I looked at you. “I hope it’s fun not being between someone’s legs, but you know, when you’re bored, you know where to find me,” I say as I licked around my lips. “Call me when you’re bored with her,” I say as I started walking away. -Eleanor

I tensed up even more, feeling so angry, but it wasn’t even towards you. I was so frustrated at the fact that I should have been angry at her the whole time instead of you. I let go of your hand, and walked up to Eleanor, taking her down by pulling her hair and turning her to face me, swinging my fist at her face. “Talk to him like that again, and you’ll be wanting to get your face fixed with extra plastic surgery until you’re unrecognizable. Don’t come near him again, don’t talk to him, don’t come near me...in fact, we never existed to you. It’s so sad and depressing that you were so desperate to fuck him that you had to come and wreck a relationship that’s he’s wanted for years, and because he never wanted you since High School, you just had to find a way to take advantage of him when he was at his lowest. Stay away from us, or I’ll fuck up your face even more, you desperate whore.” I say as I stood up. “And just so you know, he has fucked the virgin Mary, but that isn’t your concern anymore, because he’s no longer going to fuck the desperate whore. He knows what he wants, maybe you should figure out what you want that doesn’t belong to someone else,” I say as I stood up and walked towards you. -Jessica

__

“Thank goodness he didn’t because I would not look cute with spilled coffee on me,” I laugh softly. “Sebastian, this is Max. He’s my best friend and partner in crime. He’s the only other person that I write with and he produces all my stuff,” I say. “Apparently you are a fan though, so you probably already knew that,” I giggle softly as I teased you.

---

I chuckled softly as I looked at you. “Nah, you’d be cute in anything,” I smiled at you. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Max,” I say as I reached out to shake his hand. “I hope that Jersey worked out well for you,” I say honestly as I grinned. “I can’t wait to see Katie in action,” 

[fandomvoidsc]

reasons why Bash and Ms Stacy are kinda perfect for eachother

both have had spouses that they loved dearly, but sadly passed away too young

Ms Stacy is tired of being set up with men she doesn’t care for

Bash is tired of being told to find a new wife

they are both incredibly witty and would get a long greatly (as you can see in that™ scene)

are literally the only people their age I feel like (they need eachother bro)

they are both people that Anne and Gilbert respectively look up to and seek advice from 

both love Anne and Gilbert

both are very good looking 

they would work platonically as well as a potential romance 

(though I personally prefer them in a platonic capacity and really just want Bash and Ms Stacy to say fuck you to the social conventions, move in together and platonically raise Delphine together)

(I mean just imagine how all those conservative white people will lose their minds over a respectable white woman living together with a sweet black man while also being unmarried)

[oh-my-damn]

Mandy's Garden Party!

Hiya friends!

For some reason, 500 of you have decided that you like me or my stuff (or both) and I am honestly baffled and extremely honored!

So, I thought we should celebrate it with a Garden Party!

The Garden Party will take place between 15-24th of July, but feel free to send in anything earlier and it will be replied to after the 15th. I will tag everything with #mandys 500.

At the Garden Party, there will be a few different activities available to join!

🌞PATIO PASSTIME🌞

Send in a request for a teaser or sneak peek for one of my current WIPs. It can be for an existing series or for some of the stuff I'm currently working on that you guys don't know about... 👀👀

Just specify what type you'd like in the ask!

💅SPILL THE TEA💅

Send in any 3 characters and I'll try to decide who to FMK. Any characters from Marvel, Chris Evans or Sebastian Stan works!

🍬TREATS & TATTLES🍬

Send in a prompt, thought, request etc on any Chris Evans character or from any of my works and I'll spit out a HC or drabble for it! Please also specify if you'd like it to be spicy or not 👀👀

🍸COCKTAIL HOUR🍸

Get to know me better!

absinthe ⇢ what’s a song or movie you consider to be perfect?

bloody mary ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

cuba libre ⇢ do you change into a different outfit when you get home?

dry martini ⇢ do you collect anything? if so, what?

el diablo ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

fuzzy navel ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?

gimlet ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

hurricane ⇢ who is the first person you would call if you received good or bad news?

irish coffee ⇢ what's your zodiac sign?

jolly rancher ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

kappa colada ⇢ morning person or night owl?

long island iced tea ⇢ what's your favorite passtime?

martini ⇢ what work of yours are you the proudest of?

napoleon ⇢ what’s something you'd really want to experience in life?

orange blossom ⇢ do you have a fictional character you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

pink gin ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme, color or style going on?

rosé ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

sangria ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

tequila sunrise ⇢ what's a trope or theme in a fic that gets you every time?

I hope you guys want to join me!

You are of course also welcome to send in any other questions or ideas etc, don't hold back!

This is the first celebration I've ever hosted so I hope you like it and want to interact with me 🥺👉👈

Hugs and kisses from me!

Drabbles and Headcannons

*= smut

Trucker!Lloyd Hansen*

Chris and Amelia (The Stranger) Domestic Drabble*

Trucker Ari:

Ari's POV

Reader testing Ari's patience*

Ari's love language*

Sucking on Ari*

Look at daddy*

Riding daddy*

Stranger offers reader a ride*

Soft and sweet with Ari*

[stan-fixations]

1. Team Edward vs Team Jacob

2. Team Stefan vs Team Damon

3. Team Francis vs Team Bash

4. Team Michael vs Team Rafael

5. Team Bellamy vs Team Lexa

6. Team Clarke vs Team Echo

Let's talk about it.

1. I'm team Jacob. I love a vampire as much as the next 16 year old girl but Edward I can live without. His relationship with Bella just doesn't hit for me. He lacks some flavor, some personality, something to make him interesting.

2. I'm team Damon. I actually really love Stefan. Stefan is everything Edward failed to be but he's just not better than Damon imo. Yes I'm guilty of falling for guys with douchebag personalities but in my defense they're always lovable in the end it just takes some time. Plus I find Damon to be hotter.

3. I'm team Mary [insert evil laugh]. No really I can't decide like Francis is literally a dream. The boy is so romantic and if I was a princess or queen or royal of any type I'd want Francis cause omg he's something straight out of a fairytale. But bash. Sebastian the bastard son. He is so sexy especially when he's swinging his sword around. But bash has a sensitive side too and he's got no problem putting himself in the back if it means taking care of others and I love that about him. Both boys have their pros and cons (kind of like Stefan and Damon) but this one is just too close for me to decide so honestly I can't blame Mary for wanting them both cause I do too.

4. I'm team undecided. In the beginning I was team Michael like I hated Raf with every ounce of my cosmic being. But then I loved him. Michael kept making me upset and betraying me with his actions. Then I loved Michael again cause he's too adorable to not love. Then there was Petra. Then I loved them both and so like Jane I decided to not choose between either of them. Then Michael betrayed me again and broke my heart. Then there was Petra. Then Rafael started giving dilf vibes. Then there was Petra. And then there was Adam. Basically they take turns doing things that make me not like them and then I go back to loving them and then I can't decide and honestly it makes sense that Jane does the crazy shit she does. Between a dream boy dork and sexy ceo dilf how could she possibly make good decisions??? Idk where I stand on this one and there's a good chance I never will.

5. I'm team depends on the context. I think bell and clarke are def soulmates but in a toxic platonic way. Like there's never been a better pair of toxic best friends. They hurt each other a lot and I think it's just too much for them to be lovers cause lovers don't betray each other and shoot each other and hate each other and put everyone else first but then turn around and say they care about each other. That's not stuff lovers do. But toxic best friends they def do those things. Lexa and clarke are soulmates in a romantic way its literally self explanatory. You can't watch their love story and say they shouldn't be together.

6. I'm team ^. Clarke is his toxic platonic soulmate. Echo is his romantic soulmate. Ppl say there's not enough personal connection between them but we met echo in s2 and she made it to the final lineup and with the amount of shit that happens in that show they had opportunities to get closer so there's def enough personal history. And let's not forget about the 6 years they spent together on the ring. Also echo is an awesome character even if her name isn't really echo ;)

[slaygentford]

i know ur just silly detroit posting but. hm. what IS ur opinion on multiple story lines in fiction. like what could have made it work? ignore if u want lol just enjoy ur input 💜

oh hi best friend welcome to 2018. the issue with dbh isn't that there are three stories which converge, the issue is that he was like hey what if we made Markus Martin Luther king Jesus jr? so here are MY 0:) ideas to answer the question "what could have made it work" which is basically Markus is simply Jesus. bc I honestly think the Connor and kara stories are solid if a little below their potential. but to make it work Markus would have to be totally different. ergo

good version:

Markus is simply Jesus. he even has a dark night of the soul/temptation in the desert/garden of gethsemane (thinking when he goes to see carl's grave) (this is good-ending based). in this way we could simply do the fucking bible. for example Markus decides to heal his jericho disciples (perhaps he can do this with a touch and it's a miracle would be cool) AND then when they go to free the androids at cyberlife instead of pressing x to black power fist symbol you can turn over some tables in the agora. and instead of this being a declaration of war that leads directly to the bad ending it just causes a manhunt for Markus WHICH !!!! twink Pontius pilate would spearhead in a more concentrated and direct way. if you dont turn over the tables in the agora (whatever that looks like) and keep it 100% peaceful the more CONCENTRATED manhunt should happen anyway. but they key word is MANHUNT, the focus is Markus Robot Jesus.

Markus goes around converting people without doing the Obama wave but rather by healing the sick and helping the poor and whatever. more of a one on one connection instead of army recruitment. it takes more time and effort to wake androids up.

north who is literally already a former sex worker and literally already canon Mary Magdalene remains the more revolution-minded one and at one point you do have to agree with her methods/defend yourselves in order to get the good ending. the love story is more nuanced and involves some act of service similar to the foot washing which is surprising bc of how tough she is

Markus could get CAPTURED!!!!!!!!!!!!! by twink Pontius pilate duh. I think there's a cool version where Markus is questioned by hank and Connor and there's a decision to let him go or not based on how youve been playing Connor and hank

religious imagery ie lights and shadows falling on Markus like a halo/if simon dies it's reminiscent of st Sebastian/markus might catch a bullet with his hand = blue blood stigmata

Markus should be martyred in the "true" ending. knock knock hello hes robot jesus. either that or I really like that thing with simon/north giving him their heart. or it would be cool if he was martyred and then his heart became a reliquary or something. but that would be really satisfying to me honestly. esp cuz he already did the dead for 3 days thing in the actual game and that's one of my favorite parts

I can't remember if ra9 is ever like meaningfully explained in a different run but everyone should be like wow ra9 is Markus but it turns out ra9 is no one and intelligent life simply inherently believes in The Higher Power of Love in the universe and Markus is simply a good person who happens to embody good values

ambiguous version: I think Markus can start an all out crusade from the jump or go into it at any point. and then I think not necessarily everyone dies but it does bring about an apocalypse in the worst version that leads to a new world having to be built after mass destruction. but instead of the moral being peaceful protest is the only answer it's more nuanced and there IS hope at the end for some peace

bad version: power hungry Markus where he is Anakin Skywalker antichrist and we get grotesque android builds that are like the beasts and whatever. full book of revelation. pale horse rk900. a-bomb wipes out humanity but not androids baby! this could be triggered by Markus choosing revenge after simon/north is hit by a bullet meant for markus persnaps.

again I think the way the stories converge is sick and I think Connor and kara are pretty solid though not up to their full potential I can't remember if I already said that. the point is more hubcap halos and less of whatever the fuck all of that was

[goldenhourhimbo]

Pyramid Schemes of the 2021 Grid

Lewis: Pampered Chef. Sure it’s an MLM but it’s a classic, an og, and they make great spatulas to cook Roscoe’s food with. 

Valtteri: My Club 8 CBD. Honestly, this tracks. He has a lot to deal with. We’ll leave him be. 

Sergio: Melaleuca. He has a hot young teammate to keep up with and he’ll take all the help he can get. 

Max: Mary Kay, no questions asked. He wants the pink Cadillac, just to prove he can boss two careers. 

Daniel: Tupperware. He does it for Michael, so he’ll have meal prep containers. We won’t speak of Thorne today but know that post is coming.

Lando: Beach Body. No doubt. Anything involving Shaun T. and gainz is a win for him and for you. 

Sebastian: Literally the only man on the grid who knows better. He’s heard it all and he’s not buying any of it. 

Lance: Young Living. Essential oils, bb! It’s stressful having a rich dad :/ Just a rosemary rollerball on his feet every night takes that stress away. He also has a great recipe for your fussy baby if only you’ll let him share it. 

Fernando: Scentsy. Home has to smell nice for when you want to bring the ladies out of the DMs and into the abode. 

Esteban: Why do I feel like Esteban would un-ironically sell Lularoe? Like, after living in logos and sponsor patches all day he just likes to go home, put on some palm tree leggings, and vibe. 

Charles: Norwex. He thought he was buying Clorox online. He was not. It’s been three years. He doesn’t know how to stop the emails. 

Carlos: This is obviously Monat. Have you seen his hair? Man heard “we are modern nature” and it was all over. Bestie, he has an opportunity for you if you have time to pop over to his for a night of girl talk! 

Pierre: Pure Romance. Would you like a sex swing demo, bestie? He’s on his way. Only $25 for each of your friends to participate in the prize drawing!

Yuki: Thirty-One. Has no idea it’s an entire line of bags based on a bible verse, just thinks they’re cute and good quality. 

Kimi: Riway. This is a deer placenta product company. I don’t feel I need to elaborate.

Antonio: Another one lost to Monat. Again, it’s the hair. Carlos actually persuaded him into it. No one on the grid is safe (except for Seb). 

Nikita: Hayward’s Gourmet Popcorn. Honestly, he doesn’t even realize he’s supposed to be selling it for a solid two years, just likes the discount and the snacks. 

Mick: Rainbow Vacuum Cleaners. Tbh, I would let him come give me a demo, they clean a room for you. 

Nicholas: Tealightful. He gets the brewing process wrong at every paddock demo he does. George buys a box to be kind.

George: Another one for Beach Body. What better way to enjoy white boy summer than with some Shakeology and a killer home workout?

[100hearteyes]

I just watched The 355. Here are my thoughts.

First off, the movie takes itself too seriously. The rare moments it leans into a little bit of comedy are actually the best. Should've definitely had lighter moments.

Speaking of, for a movie by and about women, there is very little actual bonding between the women. There's only, like, three scenes. And one of them was filmed so awkwardly it looked like a badly made romantic scene.

The main cast is amazing, but Lupita should have had Jessica's role. She's so much more believable at being a badass. The fight scenes, the movements, everything looked better when Lupita did it. Honestly, that woman is SO FUCKING COOL. I really like Jessica Chastain, but can't help thinking she was miscast.

Sebastian Stan remains unable to have chemistry with a woman. Sorry not sorry.

Penélope Cruz has a weird role in the movie because, technically, she shouldn't have even been there for more than half of it. THEY DIDN'T NEED HER ANYMORE. SHE WASN'T QUALIFIED FOR SPECIAL AGENT SHIT.

I've had a monster crush on Diane Kruger since I saw her in Michel Vaillant and then Troy and National Treasure when I was just 10-11 years old, so anything I say will be biased. I can only say that seeing her on the big screen does /things/ to me I cannot explain (I can - I'm gay).

Which brings me to the queerbaiting. Or what felt like it. Diane's character is a lesbian and no one can convince me otherwise. AND they (either accidentally or on purpose) teased at a connection between her and Jessica's characters. And guys. There was ~chemistry. A lot more than with Jessica and Sebastian. And they could've bonded precisely over the fact that they have no one and the people they loved most betrayed them. The material was RIGHT. THERE. Also, the fact that they were the last to say goodbye??? Almost makes me want this movie to get a sequel just so I can complain about them NOT making Mace x Marie canon.

Theater-release movies are so behind TV. Most streaming services nowadays would make at least one of a group of four/five women queer.

As for plot: takes itself too seriously and hammers home some points a thousand too many times - WE GOT IT, she doesn't have anyone; WE GOT IT, her father betrayed her; WE GOT IT, her boyfriend is going to die before she can make it back home; WE GOT IT, she shouldn't be there (so why IS she???). Sebastian Stan just wouldn't fucking die, it's an awfully funny coincidence that they had exactly three screens there. I wouldn't have thought a movie made by women would have women fighting in high heels and with their hair down, but alas, I was wrong. And honestly, this movie takes SO MUCH suspension of disbelief. SO MUCH. More than a Bond movie. And all the twists are fucking predictable. Or downright silly. Or both!

Look, it's not a BAAAAD movie. It's just... Hella disappointing. And not as entertaining as it could've been. Not to mention suspending disbelief would've been a lot easier if it had leaned just a little bit more into the silliness.