#I honestly don't know what's going on with Eddie here
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leashybebes · 3 days ago
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fic: blue and gold (16/28)
for today's @bucktommyfluffebruary fic i swapped in alternate prompt showering together because they for sure know they're dating by now.
my fill is here and the tumblr version is below for those who prefer to read here. ps, pretty sure this chapter takes the rating to M.
"I am never doing that again," Buck says firmly.
"No?"
"You and Eddie definitely had an unfair advantage."
Tommy's clearly fighting a smirk. "How's that?"
Buck splutters. "Combat training!"
"Ohhh. I thought you were referring to basic hand-eye coordination," Tommy says. "Which, apparently you and Sal were born without."
Buck pouts. "Asshole. Plus, I have paint in places I don't even wanna know about. Somehow."
"Well, someone felt the need to restyle his jumpsuit," Tommy points out.
"Sue me for wanting to look pretty for you," Buck says.
"Are they always like this?" Sal demands from the backseat.
"Literally always," Eddie says heavily.
Buck wants to protest, defend their collective honor, but he'd honestly forgotten the two of them were even there.
"Get outta my truck," Tommy says.
Sal and Eddie do as they're told, stepping out into the parking lot where they left their cars. Buck flips them both the bird as he and Tommy drive away.
"Assholes," Tommy says fondly.
Buck murmurs his agreement and sets his hand on Tommy's thigh.
"Wanna take a shower together when we get back to your place?" Tommy offers. "Scrub off that paint?"
"Uh. Yes," Buck says firmly.
***
Paintballing is apparently not his thing, but if it leads here, maybe he could be persuaded, he thinks later as Tommy pulls him closer under the spray of hot water, kissing him eagerly. He runs his hands up the planes of Tommy's back, the slide made smooth by the water and the slick of soap suds. Buck's shower is generously sized but they're both big guys and it's a little cramped before too long. Buck's not complaining though, not by a long shot, not when he can feel Tommy hardening against his hip.
They've long since given up on vaguely romantic notions of gently washing each other's bodies in favor of getting as close as physically possible. Along with the paintball-induced bruising, Buck knows he's going to have stubble burn on the sensitive skin of his throat, a dark smudge in the shape of Tommy's mouth on his shoulder, and if he can swing it later, fingertip marks blooming on his hips. He can't wait.
"God, please," he groans, letting Tommy press him into the tiles. The shock of the cold makes him shudder, but it only heightens the delicious sensation of the heat of Tommy's body against him.
"Yeah?" Tommy kisses him again, his voice low in that way that's always left Buck weak. "What do you want, baby?"
"Anything," Buck says honestly. "Everything. Jesus, just don't stop touching me."
"I promise," Tommy tells him earnestly, and Buck feels briefly like he might cry.
It's nothing, really. A day with their friends that ends like this. It could be any day. But that's the thing. It could be any day, because this is their everyday, now.
"I love you," he gasps out. "Tommy, I love you so much."
They're making it. They're going to make it.
Buck is more sure every single day.
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sleepy-dodo · 8 months ago
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I wanted to draw my favorite, grumpiest neighbor...Frank Frankly :D
This moth is an Ascalapha odorata, more commonly known as "black witch moth". It represents (if I did my reaserches correctly) death :)
I'm not really proud of this artwork but I figured I'd still post it
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eiightysixbaby · 7 days ago
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eat your heart out
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pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader
in which eddie masters valentine’s day through the art of eating pussy
cw: 18+ ONLY — SMUT oral (f receiving)
a/n: an early valentine from me to all of u. mwah mwah hope u enjoy ❤️
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Eddie Munson doesn't really know what to do when it comes to Valentine's Day.
It's not like he's an idiot; he understands that typically a romantic dinner or a bouquet of flowers and some chocolates are the perfect show of appreciation and affection.
But those things are typically reserved for your girlfriend, and you're not his girlfriend.
But you're also, like, not not his girlfriend.
Eddie doesn't really know what you are, and that's the issue. It started off with you guys just hooking up. Late nights in his van parked behind the school or in a dark part of some neighborhood. Quickies in the bathroom during a break in Hellfire sessions. But it's slowly started to morph into... something else? Eddie isn't one hundred percent sure, but he's noticed that you come over more often, and you don't just want to jump his bones and leave.
Sometimes you guys don't even fuck anymore. Sometimes you invite him over just to watch movies, or he'll ask you to go for a drive with him. You hold his hand under the table when you go out to Benny's diner with the friend group, and Steve keeps waggling his eyebrows at him suggestively every time he catches you two sitting extremely close to each other. Which just makes Eddie blush like a loser.
And, every time you two are about to part ways, you look like you really want to kiss him before he goes.
And sure, you guys have kissed before. He's not about to hook up with you without at least kissing you stupid first. But this is different. You've been looking at him like you just want to kiss him, with nothing to come afterwards.
It all makes him sweat if he thinks about it for too long.
So for now, in the midst of his anxious unwillingness to ask you the horrifying 'What are we?', he's simply decided to show his appreciation for you on Valentine's Day with the one thing he's certain you'll love. He can deal with his feelings and stuff, later.
Your hand fists its way into his hair, fingers gripping his unruly curls like they're the only thing still tethering you to earth. His knees press into the worn carpeting of the trailer, his mouth latched to your cunt while his hands keep the fabric of your skirt rucked up at your waist.
You’re standing with your back pressed against the kitchen counter, your sneakers still on. He barely gave you a moment to settle yourself upon arrival before he was on you like a bad rash.
What can he say? When it all comes down to it, he’s a simple man, and you’re his favorite meal.
“Eddie,” you sigh, tilting your head back in bliss.
His tongue swipes its way through your folds before finding your clit and sucking on it. He can feel your body tremble, your knees nearly buckling with the overwhelming sense of pleasure.
His big brown eyes chance a glance up at you, at the exact moment you’re looking down at him. Your lips part in a moan, his tongue flicking rapidly at your clit, though he’s not sure if it’s that or the eye contact that forced the sound from you.
He’s guessing the latter, because something in your gaze feels different. The entire moment feels different.
Before, being intimate with you felt reckless, hot. Now it’s like he’s spilling every word he hasn’t said to you into the space between your thighs, hoping you’ll read his secret code. Hoping desperately that he’s not seeing this wrong, that you actually do like him as much as he realizes he likes you.
He needs to chill before he whispers an I love you right here on his knees.
He breaks your gaze after a moment or two, letting his eyes fall closed once more. He can taste how wet you are, he’s lapping up your arousal with every swipe of his tongue, and he honestly would kind of be okay with dying right here. His face is completely buried in you, nose bumping your clit, tongue on a mission to be as deep inside of you as possible.
You let your hips buck, nearly grinding on his face as he licks and sucks and bites, his ringed fingers squeezing the meat of your ass now.
“Eddie, ohmygod,” you cry, your white knuckle grip on the countertop keeping you from collapsing.
“What is it, baby?” he asks sweetly, kitten licking your sensitive bud before taking it between his lips and sucking.
That’s another thing, he’s started calling you all of these pet names lately. And the more he does it, the more he finds he doesn’t want to stop. He might actually be physically incapable of stopping.
“Feels so good, I—” you gasp at the sudden intrusion of two of his fingers. “I fucking love you,” you rasp out, your body reaching its peak at the exact moment the words escape you.
Eddie’s eyes shoot up to look at you, going impossibly wide. Yet he doesn’t stop what he’s doing, he brings you fully through your high until you’re shaking all over. Your words did nothing but spur him on, more determined than ever to bring you crashing down around him.
Only once you’ve come down do you seem to process what you said, and for a minute all you can do is stare at each other.
“Eddie, I—” you scramble, but he’s quicker.
“No. Don’t backtrack. Don’t do that,” he says, still on his knees before you. Still tasting you on his lips, still feeling you beneath his fingertips.
He rises to his feet, hooking a finger under your chin. You’re giving him that look again. The one that makes it seem like you want to kiss him more than you want to breathe.
And so he gives in. Lips smashing to yours, in a completely different context than any of the times before. He hopes you can feel everything he feels just through this kiss. Hopes he’s getting his point across.
The way you pull him flush up against you to deepen the kiss gives him the idea that his point was received.
Eddie Munson is great at this whole Valentine’s Day thing.
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electrosuite · 3 months ago
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bathroom sex with eddie munson pls!
warnings: swearing, unprotected sex, public sex, descriptive sex, oral sex
word count: 1.1k
masterlist
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You weren't sure you'd be able to pull it off, but when you finally convinced Eddie to come with you to your family reunion, you were ecstatic. You hated going to them; you always thought they were stupid and cheesy. But you knew this would be a perfect opportunity to introduce him to your whole family, saving you multiple occasions of meetings.
This year it was at your cousin's house in Carmel, Indiana, which was only about a forty minute drive. Eddie was so nervous to drive that you decided to do it, knowing the route better anyway.
"They're gonna love you."
"No, they're not."
"They're not like most people, y'know. They're not so judgmental."
"You say that."
"I know that. I promise they're gonna love you."
You could tell he still wasn't trusting of that, but you knew your family. And you knew they would love him.
But he mostly kept to himself or you. At one point, your aunt dragged you away to help set up some activity and he gave you a panicked look as you walked off.
When you came back to the table you'd left him at, he was gone. After asking around, you found him standing alone in a corner with a plastic cup full of some kind of soda.
You wrapped your arms around one of his and you could feel anxiety lift from his shoulders.
"Sorry," you said quietly. "She has the grip of an eagle. What are you doing over here?"
He shook his head. "Just standing." He dipped his head down a bit to kiss you.
You smirked at him for a moment, then looked around. When you saw that no one was looking, you grabbed the drink out of Eddie's hand and laid it on the bookshelf next to him.
"What are you-" You interrupted him by pulling him into the bathroom behind him. You locked the door behind you and leaned back against the door. "What are you doing?"
You just looked at him, putting on the face that he knew too well.
His eyes widened and he pointed at you. "I know what you're trying to do."
"What am I trying to do, exactly?" you asked coyly.
"Your family is right outside."
You were silent for a moment, and you could hear loud, muffled music begin to play through speakers all throughout the house.
"I dunno, I doubt they'd be able to even hear us talking."
"I don't wanna fuck up my first impression with your family."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just standing here." You adjusted your position so your hips pressed backwards against the door, accentuating your curves.
He stepped over to you slowly and stopped when he was only a couple of inches from your face.
"Oh, is that all you're doing?"
"All I'm doing."
He sighed teasingly, unable to hold back a smirk.
"You're such a tease."
He kissed you, his hands cupping your face. He kept you pushed against the door for a moment, not waiting long before pulling you by the face to the vanity. He scooped you up onto it and you leaned back against the mirror, his kisses following you.
You hiked your dress up to your hips and pulled your underwear to the side, Eddie crouching down and throwing your legs onto his shoulders. He immediately found your clit with his tongue and you gripped the edge of the sink, trying to be quiet even though the music outside was drowning out your voice.
Honestly, the fact that there were people — all of whom you were related to — that could hear you on the other side of the door was a bit of a turn on for you, and you weren't sure why.
Eddie seemed to be holding back a bit, and you knew why. Normally when he ate you out, he had you screaming just from that. He was incredible with his tongue, able to manipulate that sensitive little bud in ways not even you could. The combination of his tongue swirling and lips sucking was like the most intense vibrator ever, and it was all you wanted most of the time.
This orgasm wasn't even close to as intense as they normally were, because both of you knew that if they were, you'd get caught for sure. But it was still enough that you struggled to stay quiet.
"I don't have a condom with me," he whispered into your neck.
"S'alright." You leaned into his ear. "I wanted you to bust in me anyway."
He gulped at that, never fully getting used to hearing you dirty talk.
"You're disgusting," he joked. "Walking around your family reunion with my cum inside of you?"
"Mmm, yes please."
And with that, he was inside of you. His arms snaked under your knees and pressed them closer to your chest to allow himself to go deeper. He really filled you to your brim, and you didn't think you'd be able to take any more had he been even an inch bigger.
"Fuck, you feel so good, Eddie."
"Yeah?" he breathed. "How good?"
"So fucking good, Eddie. Fuck."
After a few more seconds, he pulled out of you and turned you around so you were facing the mirror.
"Look at yourself getting fucked."
You made eye contact with your reflection, seeing how lust-filled your eyes were. You felt him pull your loose hair into a ponytail with his fist, keeping a tight tension on your scalp. His other hand was on your shoulder, keeping you firmly in place where he wanted you.
You'd never done doggystyle with both of you standing. Usually you were on your knees on the edge of the bed and he was standing on the floor to keep better control, but this — your back arched, your head pulled slightly back, and your tits bouncing in the mirror — this was different.
It was better. Maybe you'd have to incorporate a mirror into sex every time from now on.
"Y/N, I'm already close."
"Already?" you moaned. "What, can't even last three minutes today?"
He yanked you back by your hair, your back flush against his chest. The hand in your hair was now around your neck, his other hand reaching down to finger you.
"Maybe I would if your whole family wasn't outside."
"Turning you on?"
He grunted and laughed as you moaned from the extra friction. It was literal seconds later that he had to clamp his hand on your mouth to keep you from screaming at your second orgasm.
And once it had ended, you felt his warm cum fill your hole, gushing out onto your thighs. That feeling alone could've made you cum again if he hadn't have stopped.
You both stood standing for a moment, your legs trembling slightly.
"Shit," he whispered, pressing kisses to your neck. When he pulled out, you felt cum dripping down your legs and you rushed over to the toilet, cleaning yourself up a bit. "Maybe we should fuck in public more."
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undreaming-fanfiction · 4 months ago
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Day 24 for @steddie-spooktober, Pumpkin. I'll just finish this hellish month and then write all the good Halloween-y stuff when people already look forward to Christmas. There.
"Oh my god. That's Eddie Munson!"
Steve's eyebrow did that treacherous twitch. Here we fucking go again.
Robin just snickered. "Oh wow. That's like what, the fifth one today?" She didn't even look sorry for Steve, the traitor! She just kept making the coffee order, creating a lovely heart in the milk foam.
The woman who ordered the coffee didn't even bother to try and whisper to her friend. She was squealing and pointing at the unsuspecting rock star who had earphones over his head. "What do you think he's reading? It must be something dark. He has a reputation, you know."
Another twitch in Steve's eyebrow, but he was a professional. It was fine. He could do his job even when annoyed. Maybe.
Robin flipped the whiteboard with their seasonal specials. The other side revealed a meticulously prepared game of Eddie Munson-themed bingo. "Wanna play, Steve?"
He scowled at the board. All of those were classics, the stupid shit people say when they meet a rock star like Eddie Munson.
He took an erasable marker and scribbled X next to the questions, comments and other atrocities he managed to catch.
I wonder if he'll show me that special tattoo if I ask nicely. Check.
I heard he's unforgettable in bed. Check.
People say he has a...you know. A piercing down there. Check.
I don't believe the rumors. A guy like that can't be taken for long. He was made to sleep around. Check.
I wonder what he's drinking. Probably something dark and bitter. Mmm, how mysterious!
"Bingo!" whispered Robin. "Now, as per the rules of this humble establishment, once we have a bingo, you get to go there and be a bitch. Do your worst, oh platonic soulmate of mine. I'll be watching."
Who was Steve to deny Robin one of her favorite hobbies? He fluffed his hair and re-applied his lip oil, arranged some pastries on a kitten-shaped plate and made his way to Eddie Munson.
Eddie was lost to the world, but there was a familiar pattern in Steve's footsteps, one that reverbated through the wooden floor. In a second, Eddie had dropped his book and gave Steve the widest smile. One that he couldn't even conjure up on stage. This smile was only for Steve, and Steve fucking hoped the women noticed that.
Eddie made grabby hands at him, pulling him down into a quick kiss. "Is your shift over, Stevie? Can we go?"
Steve shook his head. "Nah, two more hours to go. Ish. Are you sure you don't want to wait for me home? You must be tired."
"Tired?! Pffft. I mean, yeah, but I want to spend time ogling my boyfriend when he's at his sexiest - covered in flour and sugar. And speaking of sugar..." He glanced at the plate. "Is that for me?"
Steve laughed and set the plate in front of him. "Honestly? Even if it wasn't, those doe eyes of yours would persuade me in a second. But yeah. It'll be Halloween soon, and I was testing out some spooky cookies. Do you like pumpkins?"
Eddie gasped and clutched his heart. "Do I?!"
Steve kissed Eddie on the top of his head and put his earphones back on. In a few seconds, Eddie was back in his own world, book, music and cookies.
In a corner of his eye, Steve saw the two young women, speechless. Robin was serving them their coffees, giddy with anticipation. She'd prepared them in to-go cups, just in case.
Steve stood in front of them, flipped his hair and smirked. "Well, ladies. You've had many questions or guesses, and I'm happy I can answer them. You know. To give you some peace of mind" He nodded to Robin. "The list, Rob?"
Robin glanced at their bingo board. "I wonder what he's reading!" she read out.
Steve nodded and returned to the frozen guests. "The book to end all books. That's what Eddie calls the...uh. Tolkien bible thingy. Silmarillion." He pronounced it gery carefully. "He reads it to me sometimes, when I can't sleep. Works like a charm." He might have smirked at the blush creeping up the woman's face. "Next."
Robin saluted him. "Special tattoo?"
"He won't show it, I made him promise he'd no longer get arrested for public indecency. Besides, it's only me that gets to see it. Next."
Robin fake gagged. "Is he unforgettable in bed?"
"Sure is. He talks to my chest hair. I think they're a couple."
Robin gagged again. "Why...ladies, get better questions! That piercing down under?"
Steve snickered. "Very real. Very...effective." He sneaked a glance at Eddie. Sexy and charismatic, yes, but more importantly warm, happy and home.
In a sing song voice, Robin got to the next point. "Is he really taken?"
"Take a guess," Steve winked at them. Or at least tried to, because the customers were already halfway out of the door with their coffee cups, and a very generous tip left on the counter.
"Aw," muttered Robin. "Shame, I thought these two would last longer. It's been ages since someone lasted the full Munson reverse bingo."
Steve laughed and helped her clean the table. "Would a pumpkin cookie console you?"
"Only if I don't have to hear about your bedroom rituals ever again," she said and reached for a cookie. "Or at least until the end of the shift."
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lihhelsing · 6 months ago
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steddie | 1.6k | mature | angst
cw: mentions of parental abuse (verbal)
written for @steddieangstyaugust day 21
Prompt: Please
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The second Eddie steps into the kitchen, he knows something is wrong. 
Steve always says he doesn't mind doing the dishes and Eddie has given up on arguing with him about it long ago.
He watches as his boyfriend stands in front of the sink. On any day, he would find Steve whistling to some pop song, swaying his hips to whatever rhythm he has in his head as he soaps up their dishes. 
He's usually happy when he does it. Tells Eddie it always helps. And Eddie can't quite put his finger on what's wrong but he's definitely not happy. 
Eddie walks up to him slowly, and once he's a little closer he can see Steve's shoulders shaking. It's barely there and Eddie is unsure what to do, but when he reaches his hand and touches Steve, he knows that's the wrong choice.
Steve recoils, dropping whatever he was holding in his hand with a loud noise inside the sink and Eddie pulls back.
He's not sure what's happening, but he doesn't like it one bit. 
"Hey, hey. Steve. Look at me. What's wrong baby? 
Steve turns to him and his face is red and wet from the tears spilling down. Eddie feels his inside twisting, and his mind goes straight to Dustin and the kids. 
Something happened to them, and somehow Steve knows it and-
"P-please," Steve says, so fucking small. "Please, don't be mad."
Eddie frowns, his brain scrambling to catch up. 
"Why would I be mad?" 
At first, it seems like Steve's not going to say anything but then he moves to the side and Eddie sees the sink. 
The sink is a mess. And Steve is usually a neat guy so it takes Eddie one second to adjust. And then, he sees the blood.
It's not a lot of blood, but it's definitely blood. Eddie tries not to freak out because he knows it'll only make it worse
"What happened, sweetheart?" Usually, Steve loves when Eddie uses pet names, but today? Today he almost folds in on himself.
"I broke a-a mug," Steve says and Eddie has to hold himself together, afraid of hurting his feelings with the tiniest reaction.
"That's... ok," Eddie says, hoping that's the right answer. Steve doesn't relax but he also doesn't get worse, so he counts that as a win.
"No, Eddie. I broke a mug. And it's your favorite," Steve says and Eddie nods softly.
"Is it the Garfield one?" Eddie asks and Steve's eyes widen. He nods, doesn't meet his eyes. 
Eddie actually dislikes that mug. It was his father's and he felt obliged to keep it, but he kept hoping it would break. Nothing against Garfield, but he would much rather not have anything to remember his father by. 
"Well," Eddie looks at the sink, "I'll clean it. And you can go sit in the living room and I'll be there in a second to patch you up." 
Steve doesn't move. He just shakes his head and Eddie is a little lost. Maybe his hand is hurting so he tries to grab it but Steve flinches, back hitting the sink and making a pan slide down. 
"Baby, what... what is it?" Eddie asks. He's at a loss here and has no idea what to do. If nothing works, he'll have to call Robin because Steve is clearly about to have a breakdown.
"You're mad," Steve says. And... no. Eddie's not mad. Why would he be mad over a dumb mug? Even if it was his favorite, Eddie wouldn’t be made. Accidents happen and he’s honestly more worried that Steve is hurt than anything else.
"I'm not, Stevie,” he tries to sound sincere, but it’s like Steve has checked out of their conversation. Like he’s lost inside his own head.
"I broke your favorite mug. I made a... a mess. But I'm gonna clean it up." 
Eddie shakes his head. "You'll do no such thing. You're gonna go to the living room and you're gonna let me clean it. And then you’re going to wait for me because I need to take a look at your hand, need to make sure it’s just a superficial cut."
Eddie moves again and Steve freezes. 
"No! I'm gonna clean it," he says and Eddie is starting to get tired. He wants to fix it, he wants to help Steve, but he’s not sure how. 
There’s a little voice inside his head that tells him this is not about this particular mug on this particular day. Eddie likes to think he’s a nice boyfriend. Treats Steve well. Because he does. Never did anything to make Steve think he would be mad over a broken mug and definitely wouldn’t be mad about any mess. 
Everyone knows Steve is the one putting up with Eddie’s messy ass. 
Then, like a lightning bulb, something clicks, and Eddie decides to try something. 
"Steve," he says, voice stern, and Steve looks like he was expecting it. "Go to the living room. Right now. I'll be there in a second." 
Eddie hates the way his voice sounds. He’s not being rude, just a little more firm than he would usually be with Steve. 
Steve likes soft and sweet. But this seems to do the trick. He watches as Steve’s eyes fall to the ground with a small nod and then he walks away, pressing his hands together to keep the blood from dripping everywhere.
He sighs. He feels so out of his depth right now it's not even funny. He wants to call Buckley and ask her what she thinks, but he can’t right now. Steve would definitely hear it and that wouldn’t end up well. 
Eddie gets to cleaning. He collects the broken pieces and feels like the mug is mocking him, telling him how dumb and useless he is. Can’t even help his boyfriend.
He’s not in any rush. Feels like Steve could use the quiet time to calm down. To maybe tell Eddie what’s happening and then Eddie will fix it.
But that’s not what happens.
Steve is sitting on the couch, head low as he clutches his hand. His sweatpants are stained with blood and Eddie knows he'll have to ask Wayne how to clean them. 
"Steve," he says softly but even that makes him jump. He looks up at him and his eyes are glassy and distant. Eddie fucking hates it.
"I'm sorry," he says again and Eddie sighs. He doesn't know what's happening but he has a hunch and he's going to go with it. 
"It's ok. It was an accident," he says and he can see Steve shaking his head. "Stop. I'm talking now." 
Eddie's voice is calm but firm and Steve just nods, sniffling. 
"I wouldn't lie to you, would I?" Eddie asks.
Steve shakes his head. That's not enough. 
"Words, Steve. Would I lie to you?" 
"N-no," Steve says and Eddie offers him the hint of a smile. 
"Right. So, I'm not mad that you broke the mug, ok?" 
Steve nods. "Ok."
"I am mad, though," Eddie starts and he sees fear in Steve's eyes. His insides twist. He's either going to nail this or ruin his relationship. "That you hurt yourself and didn't call for me. Why didn't you call me for, Stevie?"
He says the last part a little softer. Steve's eyes are on him and this is it. Either he cracks him or fucks this up completely. 
"I... didn't want you to be mad," he says. 
"Because of the mug?" 
"Y-yeah," Steve's voice shakes and Eddie takes a step forward. "I didn't mean to, it slipped from my hand and broke, and I thought you would be mad." 
"Baby," Eddie says. It's hard to keep his stance. He wants to hold Steve and kiss him and promise him things are ok, but he needs Steve to see it first. "I wouldn't. I couldn't. You know that, don't you?" 
Steve doesn't seem sure but he nods. And it’s after a long sigh that he keeps talking, "my... dad.  He always got mad. Always yelled at me and called me stupid." 
Eddie sighs. Bingo. 
"I'm not your dad though, am I?" 
"N-no."
"Who am I?" Eddie asks and Steve looks at him and his face finally softens. 
"You're Eddie. My... boyfriend" 
Eddie smiles. "Yeah, I am. And I don't get mad, do I?"
"Only..." Steve says. He looks like a kid, afraid to get the answer wrong. "Only if I hurt myself and don't call you." 
Eddie feels his chest filling up with pride. He nods, takes a step forward, and puts his hand on Steve's face. 
"Yeah. That's right. Because it's ok to ask for help. I'll always help you, ok? I'll always take care of you, Stevie. And I'll never get mad at something like this, ok?" 
Steve's eyes flutter shut. He's calmer now. He nods and nuzzles Eddie's hand. 
"Ok, Eddie. Thank... thank you." 
Eddie caresses his face. "You're welcome, sweetheart. I got you, ok? Can I clean you up?" 
Steve nods. "Please."
God. Eddie's heart is in pieces right now. He's so sad and so angry at the same time. He wants to storm into the Harrington's house and beat the shit out of Richard Harrington. 
He remembers seeing Steve walking around in school. Hidden bruises that no one seemed to notice. But Eddie did. 
He's going to kill that motherfucker.
But not right now. 
Right now he's going to take Steve to the bathroom in their tiny apartment. And he's going to clean him up and patch his cut. And he's going to take him to bed, to cuddle him and whisper in his hair how much he loves him. 
How he's the best thing that has ever happened to him. How Steve makes him so, so happy. How he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. 
But tomorrow? Tomorrow he's going to make sure no one hurts Steve ever again. 
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mrsmnsn · 1 year ago
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“You look more like Kirk Hammet”
Eddie Munson x fem!reader
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another day, another fluff fic 🤭
wc: 1.2k
author’s note- The reader is Dustin’s sister!!!
Enjoy!
*********
Now, you were at your work, at Family Video, just waiting for him. It was like a routine. Every friday he would walk through the door and search for movies for his weekend.
At first, you only knew Eddie because of his reputation. "Eddie 'the freak' Munson" as the people in your school used to say. Honestly, you never knew why people would call him that. Only because he liked to play Dungeons & Dragons? Your brother did too, and he was no freak! Was he incredibly annoying? Yes! But it's not like he would worship the devil for that.
But with time, you got to know him a little bit better and you got to see he was nothing but a sweetheart. That's probably when you started to crush on him. You were in the senior year and, consequently, would share classes with him. It's not like you would talk to him all the time, but the times you did, even if it was just to say that he dropped his keys on the floor, your heart would melt.
On this friday, Dustin said that he wanted to come with you for work because he wanted to talk to Steve. So there he was, whispering something to Steve while Robin were organizing the new movies in the shelves and you were just singing along with the radio, which was playing a song of Mötley Crüe, a band you definitely didn't only like because of Nikki Sixx.
When the bell rang, announcing that someone was entering, you stopped singing and turned around seeing him walking to you. You could feel your cheeks getting red.
"Hey you. How was your week?" he said placing the movies he got in the last week in the counter
"Hi Eddie. It was good, thanks." You said looking at his hands full of rings
"Do you mind if i leave this here while i look for some movies?" he asked already looking to the horror section
"No, not at all!" You said giving him a smile which he reciprocated. You felt your stomach do a flip
As he walked to the shelves, Robin got close to you, giving you a mischievous smirk.
"What?" you asked and she only raised her eyebrows. "Oh please Robin, we're at work."
"I didn't say anything! I just think that, you know... you should go for it. You have a shot!" She said while you both looked at him trying to make a decision between two movies.
"Oh yeah, like if thats true! I don't think i have and honestly i don't think i want to figure it out." You say putting your hair into a ponytail "What if he reject me?"
"You'll only know if you ask babe." She said going to the back to get more boxes
Of course you wanted to say something to him, but how could you? You didn't know how things could go if he said he wasn't interested on you. It's not like he was going to spread gossip, he could never. If you knew one thing about him, it was that he was not like the jerks at school, he was respectful and gentle. Well, at least with you. All you got....
"Y/n!" He called you making you snap out of your trance.
"Sorry. I was just... thinking." you said getting the movies on his hands. Your fingers touched for a moment and you could still feel the warmth from his hands.
"What got you all up in your head?" He said taking his wallet and with a little concern in his face.
"Oh nothing. Just, stupid teenage girl stuff." You said laughing a little and he didn't say anything else.
The song in the radio was another one from Mötley Crüe and you hummed the song while handing him the movies he got.
"You like Mötley Crüe?" He said trying to see if he heard you hum the song or if he was just mistaken.
"Tell that to her bigger then 40 inches Nikki Sixx poster in her bedroom wall" Robin said behind you looking to the computer.
"Robin! Shut up!" You scolded her. It was not even that big "I'm sorry" you said looking at Eddie who was getting amused
"Oh yeah? Nikki Sixx, huh?" He said giggling "I look a little like him, don't i?"
You study his face for a second, as if you needed to. "You look more like Kirk Hammet"
"Oh yeah, this one is making company in the wall for Nikki too!"
"ROBIN!" You were getting redder by each second. So embarrassed to look at the man in front of you. But he found the whole situation very funny.
"Well, i'll take that as a compliment." He said looking at your eyes "So, Metallica too? You don't seem to like this kind of music"
"I wouldn't say that i'm a huge fan of them, i only know a couple songs and that's it. It's not like i listen to metal all the time like you. I only have the posters because i, uh, i think they're pretty" You said nervously talking before thinking and not really realizing what you're saying.
"It a'right. They're pretty metal!" He said but got interrupted by you brother
"Eddie! What are you doing here?" Dustin said happy to see his friend. You didn't know how they knew each other
"What do you think?" He said showing the video tapes on his hands "What're you doing here?"
"I'm here with my sister! Do you know her?" Dustin said looking at you
"Y/n is your sister? Of course i know her! How come i didn't know you were related?" he said looking back at you
"You've never asked if i had a sister."
"How do you know him?" I asked curious as well, too confused to connect the dots
"He's my dungeon master y/n, i told you i got in a d&d club!" Now everything connected.  "Can i talk to you? i had a incredible idea for a campaign!" Your brother said while Eddie head out of the store
"Sure. Bye gorgeous!" He said winking at you and that was it. You were melted inside.
"What are you waiting for? He's flirting with you! It's your chance." Robin said giving you courage to go after him before he left
You stormed out of Family Video when Duntin came in again. There he was ready to leave when he saw you.
"Hey, uhm, hi." You said too nervous going to his opened window. His van was tall so you were face to face with him.
How could he get even more hot with sunglasses on. You had to be tough.
"So i, uh, i was just wondering, you know, if there was any chance of us going out sometime, even to watch a movie if you want, i just really like you and"... You were cut. Speaking as fast as you could, trying to be brave, you didn't realize he shut your mouth with a kiss.
When he let go of you, leaving you speechless he only smiled at you "You're so cute when you're nervous. I'll pick you up at seven, how about that? You can come to my house to watch these movies i got."
"I'd love that!" You said in a state of haze. Looking at him passionately
"Then it's a date. I'll see you sweetheart" and he drove away.
You stood out there, watching him leave, touching your lips to make sure it wasn't a dream.
"I told you, you had a shot" Robin came to you putting her arms around your shoulders .
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cjlouwho · 5 months ago
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Prompt: I've been thinking about a mixture of posts on here and I'd really love Tommy going to talk to Eddie because, maybe Eddie isn't being a great friend? I've read some people think Eddie would fall in line with Gerrard (due to being in the army etc.) and I'd love to see a Tommy/Eddie argument!
When Eddie got a knock on his door at 9pm on a Tuesday, he wasn't sure who to expect. He hadn't gotten a call or text from anyone, and he hadn't ordered any food. He figured he'd be arguing with Jehovah's Witnesses, asking them why the hell they were knocking on his door so late? Usually he'd avoid them altogether, but a little piece of him felt like arguing, so he swung the door open with a dramatic sigh.
He was surprised to see Tommy on the other side of the door, hand raised in a fist, ready to knock again.
“Oh. Hey, Tommy. I wasn't expecting you, was I?”
“Um, no. Can I come in for a sec?”
“Sure.” Eddie moved out of the way so Tommy could come inside, closing the door behind him. “Want a beer or something?”
“No, I really can't stay long. I'm heading to Evan's after this.”
Right. Buck. He should've known he'd be getting a visit from Tommy. Buck hadn't exactly left work, or Eddie, on good terms two days ago. Things had been tense for a few weeks now, actually. Everything had slowly been bubbling up until Buck finally burst under the pressure and was sent home early for insubordination. He'd actually been told not to return until he could learn proper chain of command, and if he couldn't learn within a week, he should start searching for a new career path.
“Is Buck the one who sent you?” Eddie asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
Tommy shook his head. “No. No one sent me.”
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “So you're not here to kick my ass?”
“Should I be?”
“I don't know,” Eddie answered honestly. “I don't know what you've been told.”
It was kind of a ridiculous sight right now, if you asked Eddie. Two grown men, friends for months now, standing awkwardly in his living room. Neither making any effort to sit or get more comfortable.
“Evan's been having a rough time with Gerrard,” Tommy started. “Sounds like he's Gerrard's main target.”
Eddie shrugged. “Gerrard likes to push buttons. Buck's buttons are easy to push.”
“Last week he asked Evan if he'd like a bra to go with the apron he wore while cooking.” Tommy tensed even as he spoke the words. “That doesn't just sound like pressing buttons to me.”
“He's a wannabe drill sergeant pissed about the fact he never made it through basic training. You do what he says, keep quiet, use your manners, and make him feel like he's the most important person in the room. That's how you get through a shift.” Eddie moved to sit on the couch, but Tommy remained standing. “You know how this works the same as I do,” he added.
“Yeah, I do,” Tommy agreed, although his voice was a bit more commanding now. “Probably better than you do, actually. Doesn't make it okay.”
Eddie sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Why are you here, Tommy? I'm tired.”
“To try and stop you from becoming me, you idiot. I've been where you are. I've sat beside Gerrard and watched him treat person after person like nothing but garbage. I kept quiet, I made him feel important, I followed behind him like I was his damn puppy dog. I called him sir, I did whatever he asked, I laughed along with his jokes. You know what that made me?”
Eddie was starting to get annoyed. “What?”
“Him. I was no better than him.”
Eddie's eyes darkened. He stood back up, taking a step toward Tommy. “Are you seriously comparing me to that piece of crap?”
“If the mustache fits.”
“You need to get out of my house now,” Eddie warned. He could feel his body filling with the same boiling rage that got him thrown in jail a few years ago. He didn't need that to happen again.
“You repeat to me what Gerrard told Evan two days ago and I'll go,” Tommy offered. “Tell me what Gerrard said that finally made him explode and I'll leave.”
“Or I can call the cops on you for trespassing,” Eddie replied, moving to the door and opening it.
Tommy made no effort to leave. “Go for it.”
They stared at each other for a moment, Eddie's chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. When Eddie realized Tommy was never going to back down, his shoulders slumped. “Come on, Man, just leave.”
Tommy doubled down. “Tell me what he said,” he demanded, speaking each work slowly and carefully.
“H- He... God, Tommy.” He looked away from him, unable to maintain eye contact as he recalled the event. “Buck fell while we were at a scene, bruised his tailbone. When we were sitting down to eat, Buck moved slow. He winced when he finally got seated... Gerrard saw and said th- that maybe if he... if he spent less time taking and more time giving he wouldn't have so much trouble.”
“But,” Tommy beckoned for him to continue.
Eddie took a deep breath. “But he should have expected Buck to be the woman.”
Tommy nodded. “There it is.”
“Listen, Tommy, I-”
“He could've really used someone sticking up for him. One person to step in and tell Gerrard he'd crossed a line. I get that Hen can't do anything right now. She can't risk not getting Mara back. And I know Howie can't do anything to lose Mara. But you could have said something, Eddie. You could have been there for him, but you weren't.”
And there was the anger again. “Why the hell is it on me?!” he exclaimed. “I've been going through my own crap, and it's not like you or Buck have really been around to help me out.”
“Oh, you cannot be serious right now.” Tommy's posture straightened, his body somehow becoming even wider and taller. It would have caused Eddie to pause and think about what was about to come out of his mouth if he wasn't so mad.
“Yeah, I am serious. I've needed people too, Tommy, but you guys have been too busy with each other to even notice.”
“You made the mess you're in right now, Eddie!” Tommy yelled. “You did that! You screwed up and it's on you to fix it! But Evan didn't do anything wrong. He sure as hell didn't deserve to be talked to like that, and now his job is on the line because you decided keeping the peace with a piece of scum like Gerrard was more important than speaking up for your supposed best friend. So, yeah, that's on you!” Tommy began to make his way to the door, ready to push past Eddie on his way, but Eddie wasn't finished.
“Hey!” He yelled, shoving Tommy back so he couldn't leave. “I've been trying to fix everything on my own! Trying to get my own life back! Hell, I just got to talk to my kid for the first time in over a month!”
“And who you think got Christopher to answer the damn phone?!”
It felt like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of Eddie's lungs. He stood there, his mouth hanging open as he tried to find the right words to speak. “I... Buck's been talking to Christopher?”
“Every day,” Tommy confirmed. “He calls or texts. Facetime's him every once in a while too. He's been telling Chris how you're doing, trying to get him to call you or text you. He even suggested writing you a letter.”
“I didn't know that.”
“He didn't really want you to. Christopher had promised him the next time you tried to call, he'd answer. Evan's been like a kid on Christmas Eve, excited for you to tell him how it went after you two talked.”
Eddie didn't know what to say. He wasn't angry anymore, just incredibly disappointed with himself.
“He's always had your back, Eddie,” Tommy said, making his way out the door. Eddie didn't stop him this time. “It'd be really nice if you had his.”
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kinardsevan · 3 months ago
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What is your opinion on Tommy coming back or not? And in they case we see him again, do you think it’ll be just for closure (ex: Abby in season 3) or maybe for a BuckTommy second chance?
fun fact: i was considering doing an entire breakdown with a bunch of Oliver's interviews from the start of this arc until now to point to my opinion:
Tommy is coming back. The romcom theme is still in effect, and we're only about midway through the 3rd act.
Long story short (and without sources right now), I think that the interviews were actuallly pointing in this direction with the wording for a hot second. We have OS telling us that he thinks the best relationships have a "will they, won't they" bit where the audience and the characters are pining. We've seen this play out on the show. And we also have to remember that Oli knew during this interview that the breakup was coming. We also have the interview (I believe it was the Decider one I linked last week) where he mentions choosing to fight for the relationship or not. I feel like a lot of people have taken the context of that and twisted it into "they didn't do it right away, so they're not going to". Except, there's ANOTHER quote of relevance, which is Oliver talking about how Buck's queerness isn't tied to Tommy or Eddie, and only to himself.
Obviously, there have been things said since 806 that would point towards me being delulu, except, here's the issue: TM, OS and LFJr are NOT going to tell us that Tommy is coming back if that's the intention. It would spoil the surprise of it all, and the win of it all. What fun is there in that? What TM has said is that Tommy is Buck's romantic past but that doesn't mean he won't turn up again in the future (all relevant and true facts which do not shut down a reconciliation). Lou never out-and-out said he was done with the show. He's said time and time again that he wants to come back. TM has mentioned Tommy coming around again. OS literally said in an interview "they may run into each other on scene and have it be awkward".
Now obviously we don't actually have the full story with how things went down and the show decided to go with splitting the boys up. I think the fact that Lou has called out the bullying but says he wants to come back suggests that it wasn't him saying it was too much. I have two theories that could honestly run concurrent with one another:
Evan and Tommy break up in 806 at the end of the episode. With 911 having 18 episode seasons, this quite literally only makes up the first third of the season. It set up the beginning of the year for us. We're now two episodes into the second part of the season with a pretty clear idea of where the next three will go and suggestions (by fans, nothing official) that the "soonest" we could see LFJr again is 812. This is reasonable, as it would be the end of the middle of the season. Knowing that TM has suggested he might do a multi-episode season finale, pushing LFJr back into the show in 812 (or even the end of 811 if we go with my theory that Eddie could possibly leave around this time and Tommy helps them pack up/his and Buck's first time spending time around each other again), there would still likely be something around this time period that would be around when they would open the doors to this. As it is, we know that 809 and 810 go together, and then we'd have 811 to really flesh out the end of Buck's fling. I think there's even more possibility of LFJr being in this episode as well because if the plan is to bring them back together (which everything has been suggested so far ON screen in terms of keeping Tommy "in" the story), three-episode arc gives us several things: a. it allows the show to make the point that Buck's queerness is not intrinsically attached to Tommy; that his interest in men is as equal as he know his interest in women is. b. it gives them the ability to also show that his feelings for Tommy are not based in Tommy being his "first", or Evan needing to "discover" more about himself. They're in love with each other, and the show has given us the pieces for that. LFJr has acknowledged it in an interview, Tommy loves Buck. We also know that Tommy's line to Evan is "you'd end up breaking my heart, and I don't think I could deal with that". When I hear that sentence, what I'm actually hearing is "I'm already in love with you, and if I let myself fall more in love with you by being with you every day all the time and this ends, I won't survive it". By relation, we have Josh ask Buck if he loves Tommy and Buck waffles, but I think this has more to do with his lack of understanding of what a healthy love is in a relationship, given his past relationships. He never got to tell Abby. Ali left. and saying I love you to Taylor wasn't about the core of actually being in love with her, which I think is another important piece for BuckTommy: they don't just love each other, they're in love with each other. Still, sometimes it's hard to quantify that feeling, and I think (as I've referenced before), for Evan it was easier to ask Tommy to share a living space with him than to share how he feels about him because historically, things haven't worked out well for him when he's been in love outwardly. Further, the questions Josh asks Evan are directly correlated with loving someone, and Evan answers yes to all of them. (I don't think I need to add this, but he also sees a future with Tommy, talks about being engaged or married. He's serious about Tommy in a way he never has been before.)
There's also the theory that the breakup happened because of scheduling conflicts. Now obviously the show could've found other ways to work around LFJr's scheduling issues by having Tommy go on a trip or what-have-you, but let's remember OTHER things that have been said by OS in prior interviews: a. back in June, he did an interview where he stated that he wanted and hoped that BuckTommy would go through issues that couples normally go through in their first year together. He wanted normal issues. This storyline IS normal. b. he didn't want to repeat Tarlos. By the very definition of what the show is doing right now, we're not. Tarlos and BuckTommy are their own things with their own reasonings.
One of the other things I also keep being pulled back to is these issues: first of all, we know how LFJr plays with the 911 demo, given that they got to see it last season. It's why he was written into more episodes after his initial four episode arc and brought back. ABC has also used BuckTommy in their own adverts, which suggests that they are very supportive of the relationship continuing because it draws in viewers. Truly giving that up for good feels like dousing yourself in gasoline and then considering striking a match. Second, people also keep calling out that TM only plans a few weeks in advance. I believe this is true with story beats. We know that the writers room has a general idea on character arcs, thanks to some of the discussion on the cheese page post-806. I really struggle to believe that TM didn't know going into going forward with the breakup whether or not he wanted to bring LFJr back. We know he waffled back and forth on the idea of the breakup, meaning he probably had other solutions on his mind for whatever LFJr's schedule needed adjusting for, and this is what he decided on. Also, even if 8b hasn't been broken down yet (we know it hasn't), they would still know at this point what they do or don't want, what their ideas might be. Solidification for why Tommy should be brought back is directly shown in the reaction by the GA and the fandom to the breakup. They may not know exactly how that reunion happens yet, but what they have suggested is that Buck's new relationship will be short-lived. That he's using it to cope. We also know he's still processing the break-up and still misses Tommy. These are all things that point to the story not being over. Plus, I feel (once again), if the story really was over and they didn't have plans to continue this in 8b, LFJr wouldn't be talking about wanting to go back. It be far more "yeah that sucked, but it's over now and what can you do? I'm off to this new show and I'll never be back." (I've commented also on the fact that the fangirlish interview comment about his "i'm going here, doing this, have some opportunities" statement is very run-of-the-mill. Obvs I could mean something. Or it could literally just be a canned answer.) (This might feel a little off-center, but I think his commentary on trusting TM and knowing what he's doing in one of his post-806 interviews directly suggests that he believes the story is going to be handled properly.)
I realize at the end of the day, all of what I'm piecing together could mean zilch and Tommy could possibly never come back. They could truly just drop the story and never circle back around, set fire to a beautiful arc and lose thousands (possibly millions) of viewers. I've certainly suggested myself being one of them. But I don't see BuckTommy only getting an Abby fix for two reasons. LFJr wants to come back and continue the story, and Connie Britton only ever intended to do one season. Also, the fling has been called out as being planned to be short-lived. Why bother mentioning that if you don't have other plans for the story.
The last thing I'll leave you with is my commentary from the interview Oli and Aisha did with the guy from Chicago. That reporter obviously liked the BuckTommy storyline and said he's choosing to believe that the relationship is paused, not over. By relation, we had Oliver say three things: (1 and 2) Buck is still looking for love, both in himself and with another person. (3)The season is only half over. Circle that back to 806-808. Buck is finding love in himself by dealing with it in a healthy way (so far) with the baking. We've also seen the "cracks" Oli mentioned with his continued urge to want to text Tommy, as well as him fighting it off by baking (referencing the "pendulum swinging"). Looking for love in others will likely be this arc where he tries to deal/move on. I feel like we collectively watched the end of 806, and then 807 and 808 yelling at the TV "you're in love with him, piece it together already!" (or maybe that was just me???). But truly, whether it's a fling, his therapist, or Bobby/Maddie/Eddie who finally spells it out of or him, I think there will be a point at which we see that come to fruition. The seeds were sewn in for it in the scene with Josh. Now it's just about watching those seeds sprout.
Final note: we've had a good run up to this point with these two. Did we truly thing that the honeymoon phase would last forever? (I didn't. Conflict and the pink bubble popping have to happen eventually.) If we really want to suggest that what BuckTommy has is real, they have to go through this and come out the other side. I think everyone is justifiably frustrated due to the 4 month wait on new episodes (I personally would not have left people hanging quite like this, but that's just me), but the narrative does lead us toward what the show is doing with the suggestion that it does have a natural (and good) conclusion. (Possibly with a helicopter/truck/jeep crash?!)
And just as my singularly LAST note, here's my other thing: Evan and Tommy both have abandonment issues. (Tommy's are clear based on the break up and we know Buck's.) By that correlation, when these two finally get back together, they're never going to fucking let the other go.
(This was so much longer than I intended it to be, but that's my answer 😂😂😂😂😂😂)
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steddieas-shegoes · 11 days ago
Text
i hate the way i don't hate you
for @steddielovemonth inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You
rated m | 2571 words | cw: implied sexual content | tags: inspired by 10 things i hate about you but it's so short so keep that in mind, enemies to friends to lovers, time skips, getting together, falling in love, modern au
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
“Let me get this straight: you asked him out as part of a bet.”
“Mhm.”
“Because he’s insufferable and everyone in your little misfit group decided it would be funny.”
“Uh huh.”
“And your plan was to stand him up at prom so he would know how it feels to be heartbroken.”
“In a nutshell.”
“And then you fell in love with him.”
Eddie blinks at Robin, who looks like she might kill him with her bare hands. Honestly, he deserves it. He kinda hopes she makes him suffer.
“All signs point to yes,” he says.
She sighs. And then she sits down. And then sighs again.
“This is absolutely bullshit, you know that right?” She finally asks. “Steve’s a good person. He never deserved to be treated like his feelings don’t matter.”
“I know. And I should’ve known that from the beginning.”
“You fucked this up. He’s gonna hate you.”
Eddie knows that’s a good possibility. He hopes Steve is forgiving, but he knows he doesn’t deserve to ask him to be.
“If he does, I deserve it. But I came to you because I couldn’t lie anymore,” Eddie knows his reputation with his friends is on the line. He doesn’t care. “I’m gonna talk to him tonight and let him make his own decision.”
“You’re gonna tell him the day of prom that his prom date is an asshole?” Robin stands up again. “You’re gonna ruin his senior prom.”
“I’m ruining it either way. People are gonna tell him about it at prom if I don’t tell him before,” Eddie argues. “He deserves to hear it from me.”
“He deserves to not be a circus act,” Robin says, but nods. “Make sure you return your tux tomorrow. His card will get charged a penalty if it’s late.”
Eddie doesn’t tell her he already returned the tux. He figures it’s probably not the time.
He knows Steve won’t want to be near him after he tells him about the bet.
****
One month earlier
“You’d never land a guy like that anyway,” Gareth jokes. “Steve Harrington wouldn’t even glance your way let alone date you.”
“He’s so uptight, he’d laugh in your face if you even tried,” Frankie adds.
Eddie watches Steve carry Robin’s books to her locker so she can carry her trumpet case and science project.
“Wanna bet?”
****
Two weeks earlier
“You write music?” Steve asks as Eddie closes his notebook.
“I try,” Eddie smiles at him. “It’s not always good. It’s rarely good.”
“Could I hear some of it?”
“Maybe.” Eddie lights his cigarette, smirking around it as Steve’s cheeks turn a rosy pink. “Do you like metal?”
“I’ve never really listened to it,” Steve admits. “But I’d give it a shot if that’s what you wrote.”
“Come to my band’s show this weekend. I might play an original song as our encore,” Eddie says. “Might even dedicate it to you.”
The blush gets deeper.
****
The night before
“You know I used to wanna be an astronaut?” Steve says as he leans his head onto Eddie’s shoulder. “Still would if I was any good at math. I mean, I get by in class, but I’m in the easiest classes. Probably not astronaut material. Plus, I get seasick.”
Eddie laughs, something he’s done a lot with Steve. Something he never expected to be doing so much, actually.
“You could still work with NASA. Maybe you can’t go to space, but you could help people get there,” Eddie offers. “They’ve got plenty of people working in the office.”
“Yeah, but I think it would be hard to be so close, yet so far, ya know? Like I’m technically no closer to space there than I am right now. If anything, I’d be farther because I’d be stuck in a building, but here I’m with you,” Steve says simply.
Eddie leans his head on top of Steve’s, looking ahead instead of above.
His heart skips a beat when Steve’s hand rests on his knee.
“I’m glad I get to be here with you,” he says quietly.
Eddie swallows around another lie.
****
Present day
“Eddie! What’re you doing here?”
Eddie hates how excited Steve is to see him. It’s gonna make this so much harder.
His chest aches as he gives him a small, fake smile. Steve notices immediately because of course he does. Steve sees Eddie in ways his own friends don’t.
“What’s wrong?” Steve asks, and Eddie can hear it already in his tone, the way his body is rearing up for disappointment. Steve’s said it himself before: he’s always prepared for the other shoe to drop because everyone’s got two feet.
“Can we sit?”
“No. You can tell me whatever it is just like this.”
Eddie accepts it because arguing now isn’t going to help anything. Sitting or standing, Steve is going to be pissed at him.
“I can’t go to prom with you.”
Steve is looking at him with wide eyes. “What do you mean? Was something wrong with the tux? It’s not a big deal if you wanna go in jeans. I promise I was kidding about leaving you in a corner.”
Eddie gives an unamused laugh. “No, that’s- no. I lied to you. For over a month now. I only asked you out because my friends didn’t think you’d even talk to me, let alone agree to go to prom with me.”
Steve’s silence hurts almost as much as the tears that are gathering in his eyes.
“I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I ever even bet them that I could get you to go out with me. I’m sorry that sorry isn’t enough.”
Eddie can feel tears in his own eyes, but it’s not fair of him to cry. He caused this. He’s the reason Steve is upset. He shouldn’t get to be upset in front of him.
“Steven! The tux is pressed!” Steve’s mom yells from the front door. “Come inside so I can make sure the tailor got the sleeves right.”
Steve breathes in slowly before turning to his mom and telling her he’ll be in in a minute. He turns back to Eddie and sniffles.
“I guess I’ll see you at school.”
“Steve, I’m sorry. Really.”
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
Steve walks into the house, leaves Eddie in the driveway.
****
Eddie paces his room.
There’s not a lot of space to do that, but he manages to wear a track in the carpet. Wayne will be home any minute asking him why he isn’t at the prom, why he isn’t with Steve.
Eddie will tell him and he’ll give him that same look he did when he told him about turning a kid away from Hellfire Club. It’s disappointment, and Eddie hates it.
The front door opens, Wayne’s footsteps echo to the kitchen while he puts away his ice pack and leftover containers from lunch, he pops open a can of beer, and then walks to Eddie’s room. He knocks on the door.
Eddie starts crying.
Wayne rushes into his room, sets his beer on the bedside table, and gathers Eddie into his arms.
“What’s goin’ on, son? Thought you’d be getting ready for your dance,” Wayne says, but it just makes Eddie cry harder.
Eventually, he calms down enough to explain.
Wayne keeps holding him because Wayne will always hold him, even when he’s disappointed in him.
“Well, he didn’t punch ya in the face,” Wayne finally says. “You apologized?”
“Yeah, but it didn’t matter. I still hurt him and he won’t forgive me.”
“You think you deserve to be forgiven?” He wasn’t asking meanly, just genuinely inquiring.
“I don’t know,” he admits.
If he’d asked earlier, he would’ve given a resounding ‘no.’ But he knows how sorry he is, and even though Steve probably never will forgive him, he does hope he will.
“If you’re really sorry, he’ll forgive ya,” Wayne settles on.
Eddie shakes his head, wipes his eyes and then his nose, frowning at the snot on his fingers. He wipes it on his shirt and falls back on his bed. Wayne laughs at him, pats his chest, and stands to leave.
“You could do something big for him,” Wayne suggests.
“Like what?”
“I dunno, you showed him that song you wrote about him yet?”
“I can’t show him that! Not now!”
“Why not? It’s about as big a declaration of love you can give.”
Eddie hates when Wayne’s right.
****
He gets Robin on board with bribery. A lot of it.
Money is definitely involved, more money than he really should spend, as well as his best weed (“it’s not for me!”) and free rides for the entire summer whenever she wants.
But she agrees to get Steve to The Hideout on Saturday night. She’s not good at lying, but she manages to tell a half-truth and Steve believes her.
Eddie’s a nervous wreck. His bandmates were read the riot act from him and from Wayne. They all apologized to Steve at school, though he didn’t really accept them.
It didn’t give Eddie much hope at all.
He’s doing it anyway.
Robin put in the effort of getting Steve here, so he’s gotta do it.
“You know ‘em and sometimes like ‘em just fine…Corroded Coffin!”
The guys all go on stage ahead of him when the crowd starts cheering. He takes one more deep breath and follows.
Gareth counts them in and they play.
It’s good, maybe one of their liveliest crowds yet. He can’t see many of the faces, but he knows Steve’s there. He saw Robin’s shirt when the lights dimmed between the first song and the second. She wouldn’t stay if Steve left.
Jeff introduces them after the third song like always, but pokes a little fun at Eddie.
“Sorry about our guitarist being a bit moody. He’s feeling deeply emotional about love,” Jeff starts the next song before Eddie can argue.
It’s a great show.
Everyone’s having fun, even Eddie.
But then the guys all sip on water and it’s Eddie’s turn to introduce his song. The song for Steve.
“Hey everyone,” Eddie starts, awkwardly. He’s not usually like this on stage. “Got a new song tonight. I wrote this for someone who I don’t deserve, but who I care about a lot. I know he’s mad and he should be. It may not fix anything, but I hope he knows that I mean every word.”
Gareth’s drums are soft for this one, just there to keep the beat with Frankie on the bass. Jeff moved out of the spotlight, still playing rhythm, but keeping the attention on Eddie while he sings.
He sings about falling for someone unexpected, wanting to create a love story better than Shakespeare. He sings about the boy who wanted to discover the stars, and the boy who wanted to hold his hand while he did. He sang about not knowing that he was capable of this kind of love, and wanting to have it forever.
When the song ends, the crowd claps, but they clearly aren’t here for the romantic ballad he just sang.
He lets Gareth count in for the next song and they go back to the loud, chest-thumping music they usually play.
He doesn’t see Robin anymore, and he decides then that if Steve left, he did everything he could for now. He can’t be more sorry than he is and he can’t force Steve to think more of him.
“Good show guys,” Jeff says as they tear down the stage. All of them are responsible for their own equipment, but they also help out the bar manager by unplugging the electrical and rolling the wires when they’re done. “And a great job on your song, Eddie.”
“Thanks,” Eddie gives him a small smile as he closes his guitar case. “Don’t know if it worked.”
“It did.”
Eddie turns at Steve’s voice, nearly falling over when he sees how good Steve looks. He’s wearing a plain black t-shirt and ripped jeans, something outside of his norm, probably trying to fit in with this crowd a bit. Eddie wants to kiss him.
“Steve.” Eddie isn’t sure who’s talking, but it must be him because Steve’s looking at him with shining eyes and the same smile he always gave him when he looked like he wanted to hold his hand. “You’re here.”
“Robin insisted,” Steve admits, stepping closer to Eddie. “But then I told her to head home so I could talk to you.”
“Oh.”
Steve’s mouth lifts in a smirk for a moment before he schools his features again.
“So you wrote that song for me?”
“Yeah. Is it too much?”
Steve steps closer again, only a few inches separating them now. He shakes his head. “Not too much, no. Maybe just enough.”
“Enough for you to forgive me?”
“I might be on the path of forgiveness.” Steve touches his chest, palm over his heart. “But can I ask you something?”
“Anything. Whatever you want.”
“What were you hoping to happen when you made the bet?”
Eddie has to think about that. Of all the things he’s thought about, this isn’t one of them.
Steve waits for him, though. He’s patient. One of the many amazing things about him.
“I think I just wanted to be right about you,” Eddie finally admits.
Steve nods once. “A lot of people wanna assume things about me because of who my friends were a couple years ago, and who my parents are, and how I always dress nice and act like a bitch. It’s easier to just think I’m a bad person than think I have any depth at all. Especially in high school. Even though most of us are adults now, no one really acts like it.”
“I’m extremely immature. You should probably know that if you’re gonna forgive me,” Eddie says.
“You’re not as immature as you pretend to be at school,” Steve smiles. “I’ve seen you, Ed. I know the bad boy against the grain guy isn’t all you are.”
“And I know there’s a lot more to you than your pretty face, though that’s a bonus.”
Steve kisses him and the guys all cheer for him. He’s laughing against Steve’s mouth, waving one hand at the guys to make them leave.
“Robin said you were crying when you told her,” Steve whispers against his mouth.
“She’s a traitor.”
“So you were?”
Eddie sighs. “Yes, I cried. I hated how much I knew it would hurt you to find out the truth.”
“You still have to make it up to me a little,” Steve says.
“Oh yeah? How?”
“Well, I remember something in the song about worshiping me on your knees? Or was that a weird religious reference?”
Eddie kisses Steve again, smiling so much that their teeth clack against each other almost painfully.
“I’m an atheist,” Eddie replies.
“We’ve got a long night ahead of us then, don’t we?”
Eddie groans. “I still have to help load all our stuff-”
“Dude. You were forgiven by a guy who definitely could find better than you. We can handle the stuff. Consider it more of an apology for us being dicks, too,” Jeff interrupts.
Steve grabs Eddie’s shirt and tugs him along. “I’m not gonna tell them I forgive them until tomorrow.”
“Good idea.” Eddie looks down at the way Steve’s ass fills out the jeans he’s in. “On second thought, maybe next week sometime.”
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 8 months ago
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Insecurity ✨
Older Eddie Munson x Reader
The reader is in her twenties (mid to late, that's up to you) Eddie is 39.
My requests are open 💌✨
❤️
It was the start of an argument that had been growing since the two of you had left dinner. Eddie thought you were acting like a brat...and maybe you were just a little bit but you felt like it was justified.
Or maybe not so much. It wasn't Eddie's fault that Eddie's ex was at the same restaurant. She was with her boyfriend but you still felt inadequate just by looking after her. She was stunning, all blonde hair, big blue eyes and legs for miles. Of course, Eddie dated someone like her.
You tried to ignore the growing pit in your stomach, the one that asked what the hell Eddie saw in you. It was a slippery slope to go down and you knew it was silly to think that way but insecurities had ways of popping up at the most inopportune time didn't they?
Michelle had said a quick hello and she was just so graceful and elegant. She could be a model and she was Eddie's age, there wasn't an age gap and widely different life experiences.
Eddie's hand closes over yours as it rests on the table, you notice Michelle looking and she raises her eyebrows and looks at you in disbelief. Like what could Eddie see in you?
Eddie presses soft kisses to your knuckles as if sensing your problems, the look from Michelle chips away at your confidence and you look away feeling flustered.
It meant you were quiet and lost in thought, lost in stupid musings and worries. It ended up with Eddie thinking you were pissed about something, his hand in yours and circling your palm in soothing motions, trying to take away some of your worry.
By the end of the night though he had had enough and once your meal was finished he was staring at you expectantly.
"What's wrong?" he sighs and you shake your head and a soft groan of frustration issues from his throat. "let's get going okay" you frown and pout.
"I don't want to leave. I want another drink" You down another glass of champagne and Eddie's eyes darken.
"You've been sullen all through dinner, you've barely eaten and now you're acting like a brat. So what's the problem?" you wince and stand up, getting ready to leave.
He leads you outside and you're both quiet during the ride home, Eddie keeps glancing at you and anxiety pools in your gut. Maybe you should just say what's bothering you? Would Eddie understand or would he just think it was stupid?
Stupid. You wince at the word. Your ex before Eddie liked to throw that word around a lot. It's why you didn't date for a long time after Josh. Then you met Eddie and he was nothing like Josh, he was patient and kind, gentle with you.
Arguments between the two of you were uncharted territory though, you could count on your hand how many times you and Eddie had a disagreement.
Tonight was a first for everything though. By the time you get back to Eddie's the tension between the two of you is worse.
"Seriously what the fuck is going on with you? You've been quiet all night. I talk to you and all I get is shrugs or one-word answers. Do you want me to put you over my knee right fucking here?"
You stubbornly ignore him but the fact that Eddie is mad at you is making your anxiety worse.
"It's stupid and I don't want to talk about it okay, I know it's just me being silly and I want to just forget it" You don't want to snap at him and turn away shrugging off your coat and slip out of your heels.
"You're acting just like some bratty kid and I'm fucking sick of it" he huffs and the venom in his voice stops you in your tracks. Sick of you is what he's trying to say and your heart sinks. Fuck. Is that what he meant?
Josh was right. You were a nightmare to deal with, his words come back to you. All the little barbs he would say that burrowed under your skin and made you feel shit about yourself. Honestly, you really thought you were over those cruel words but obviously not.
A whimper escapes your mouth and Eddie turns to face you and his eyes widen, "Sweetheart" he whispers and you feel the tears coming but they don't stop and rush past Eddie and into the bedroom, cuddle into the bed while your body shakes with sobs.
💞
A little while later Eddie comes in and he closes the door, makes his way over to the bed and lies down beside you. You peer up at him and his big brown eyes fill with worry.
"Oh, princess. I'm so fucking sorry" he presses kisses to your head and you burrow your face into his neck.
"I'm sorry, I have been off all evening and I should have told you and not acted like...like a brat, I understand if you're sick of me" he stiffens.
"You're not a brat and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you princess, fuck. I could never ever be sick of you. Why would you ever think that?" His eyes narrow after a few seconds and he growls under his breath.
"Josh right? Jesus h Christ, I would love to meet that limp dick little asshole. Might borrow Steve's bat, DIY castration" You giggle and he holds you tighter.
"I got jealous when I saw Michelle. She's so beautiful and I got lost in my head, didn't help the way she looked at me. Made me start thinking stupid things" his gaze softens.
"Princess, You mean so much to me. I've never felt this way about anyone" he assured you then his mouth pressed into a frown and his eyes flashed with fury. "What do you mean by the way she looked at you?"
Sighing you began to explain what you meant, "It was like oh what's he doing with someone like her kind of look" he growls deep in his throat.
"Fuck her. She's always been a mean bitch. It's why I broke up with her, we didn't mesh well and I meant what I said you're the only woman I've ever felt this way before about anyone sweetheart, I wish you could see that"
You stare at him confused, you want to know exactly what he means. "Tell me, how do you feel?" he softens and presses his lips to yours once, twice and then a third time.
"I'm so in love with you, how can you not see that? I love you so much, Princess" Your lip wobbles and you cuddle into his arms.
"It was just this little thing that grew into this big big. When I saw Michelle I just wondered what you saw in me and I hate that she made me feel that way but I love you Eddie and I guess I just had a major wobble" he softens.
"Oh sweetheart, Michelle, any other woman I've dated doesn't matter. I mean what I said I've never felt this way about anyone, not Michelle, not anyone. I fell in love with you the minute I saw you and trust me, that was a fucking surprise for someone who thought love was a load of bullshit. I was a cynical ass you could say"
He wipes the stray tear away from your eyes and holds you close. "Mmm, it took you long enough to admit it. Stubborn ass" you tease and he smiles, all dimples.
"Gonna tell you so much that you'll get sick of it Milady" he promises you and you smile. You could never get sick of hearing Eddie say those three little words.
And he would tell you so much, every single day in a million tiny different ways.
❤️
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hitlikehammers · 2 months ago
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oh golden boy (don't act like you were kind)
part i : you were mine but—
for @kultiras at the ❄️ Winter @steddieexchange 🖤🩵
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Arguably the sharpest knife in his chest about this whole fucking shitshow?
Eddie thought they were doing good.
Like: so fucking good.
Eddie thought they were on the cusp of…that they were building something.
He’s such an idiot. Such a…
A heartsick fucking idiot.
But if he’s gracious—which he’s not, least of all to himself—when he puts all the pieces together, lines the evidence up and analyzes it, thinks of it in terms of a narrative that he can understand and recognize the flaws in, where he’d rewrite the ending or tweak the rising action so everything slides into place realistically, cause and effect in balance just right: Eddie can see that the way this has all shaken out is fucked up. So, so fucked up.
Because there honestly hadn’t been any signs that they weren’t laying the foundations of something long-term, something lasting; that they weren’t in this deep and rooted, strong and committed and serious in a real, tangible way, and, just…
Forever. Eddie was…he was playing for keeps, here. He thought, he just, he thought—
Fuck.
He just…really believed he wasn’t alone in it all.
Again: idiot.
It’d started so fucking predictably, really, because if there’s one thing that Eddie clocked about Steve Harrington from the get-go of actually getting to know him versus operating on the popular-gorgeous-jock framework he’d distilled the guy down to in his head before 1986: the one consistent thing he’d figured from what he’d heard and what he’d seen put together was that: Steve Harrington?
Bastard’s protective to a fucking fault.
So when he blinked back to the land of the living with Steve goddamn Harrington at his bedside? Standing guard, looking a little haggard—like he cared, at least enough to worry—but still fucking devastatingly pretty, good god-
When he woke up to that, Eddie was surprised and also: not at all surprised.
The way he lit up when he saw Eddie was conscious, like world was less before that moment and something right slid back into place? Eddie…Eddie felt like his body was pretty wholly broken but that fucking cracked something down his middle, decimated parts of him in new ways that hadn’t been already devastated on another plane, were sitting ripe for wholesale ruin.
He’d let Steve blame the breathiness that’d overcome him on coming back from the brink of death, because Steve didn’t need to know the sensations, the emotions, that were running riot through Eddie’s veins.
But then it hadn’t stopped.
Steve standing guard at his side became a constant, like Eddie couldn’t quite comprehend save that it felt like his body was knitting itself around the fact of this more-than-good dude and Eddie wasn’t entirely sure what to do with that, save kind of just…poke curiously at the new shape of everything he was for it, and once he worked through the fear of the unfamiliar in it?
To kinda…savor it. Roll around in it and relish.
Probably it was gonna be short lived anyway. Probably it was gonna go away when Eddie finally got out of here. Only made sense to soak it up while it lasted.
And it was one of those early days, where Eddie was soaking it up and before anything possible beyond the bubble of middle-space they were existing in inside Eddie’s hospital room was even hinted at. Steve had gone to check on Max while Eddie grappled a bit to look down at himself a little better under the handkerchief that the hospital deemed sufficient as clothing, and he braced for the worst because it felt like the worst and what he did remember at all from the scene of the inter-dimensional mauling definitely aligned with being ‘the worst’: but it was honestly mostly bandages and pain.
Eddie didn’t…on second thought he didn’t know if he was ready to see what was underneath just yet, so he was actually kinda grateful that his hubris about it all didn’t immediately have a chance to floor him, especially when he was alone because he’d thought it’d be easier to stomach if it was just him—but the prospect, the bullet dodged, lodged in his throat and proved him kinda instantly wrong for the sharp cut of bile rising in him, and the violent jump of his pulse right behind it.
His hand had gravitated to his chest, though, like he could keep his heart from cracking his ribs that way, and he noticed that…even the light pressure ached, so he looked down a little more carefully, didn’t think the little fuckers had concentrated their attacks on the center of his chest so he tucked his chin and tried to see what was causing the sting—maybe just like, general area tenderness after playing buffet table to fucking…flying hellspace rodents but—
No. No: even from this weird-ass uncomfortable angle, Eddie could see the outline, coukd make out the dark stain of a bruise.
In the shape of a hand.
And listen, Eddie wasn’t foolish. He knew that everyone busted ass to get him topside and to a hospital. And that probably involved…stuff he didn’t want to really dwell on too long in terms of the nitty-gritty of his own mortality. He was also very much aware that Steve had played a crucial role, even if the man himself didn’t stand up and declare it. The kids didn’t have any sense of a fucking filter, so.
Eddie knew.
But Eddie then started tracing the splay of fingers on his sternum, his heartbeat so fucking heavy under even just the brush of his nails as he followed the outline of the purpling over, and over, and over, imagined what it would take to make that kind of an impression on his skin because Eddie was fucking pale, yeah, he marked quick—but not that dark.
Not that deep.
“Shit.”
Eddie’d startled, snapped his attention to the doorway where Steve had reappeared, looking a little breathless as he took Eddie in, came quick to his side and leaned to look closer at the monitor next to him and oh: Eddie hadn’t realized that the beeping was so loud, so fast. Hadn’t realized his heartbeat had ratcheted up quite so high.
Not that he was surprised.
“Shit, are you okay,” Steve barely breathed, eyes so goddamn big about it as his hands had kinda hovered, as he’d tried to figure out what to do, how to help, because that was what he was always doing; that’s who he was to his core, and Eddie…
“Oh god, let me call the nu—”
“Don’t.”
Eddie’d half-moaned it, god: scratchy but desperate as he reached for Steve’s hand and he…
He suspected he knew exactly how big that hand was; what shape it’d make to a fucking T. But he needed to see
For sure.
“What are you,” Steve’s brow had furrowed in that way Eddie was becoming increasingly aware he wanted to kiss smooth, and he started to ask it as Eddie grabbed to uncurl his grip from the bar at the side of the bed but Steve gave up fighting quick, focused on stopping Eddie from moving at all instead, from stretching the way he was against the precarious threads holding him together as he reached for the neck of his gown again, still loose enough from where he’d pulled the back up, left his ass out against the sheets to bare his breastbone, the mess of the tattoos on his chest more grisly after everything than any horrors he’d gotten inked before but—
This was a different kind of horrifying thing. Not least—maybe most—because it was entirely possible that it was also the most beautiful, sacred thing to ever touch Eddie’s skin. To ever beat through Eddie’s fucking veins.
“You,” Eddie let go of the last breath he could wrestle out before his lungs seized up too tight, because then he was watching it happen, watching Steve’s broad palm as it hovered over the imprint, shivering when Steve’s warmth made contact: eclipsing the bruise near-perfect, just like Eddie knew deep down it fucking would.
His heart took the hint and started shivering under Steve’s hand immediately, like it had something to prove.
“Ed,” Steve’s voice was wispy, choked a little; eyes too bright and Eddie feels like there must be so many kinds of dying, because he’d felt one keenly under that angry red lightning; this was a wholly other thing.
But felt just as keenly life-or-death.
“You,” Eddie whispered, the words, the truth, the feeling of it all too fragile, too precious to disturb, and he wondered if his heart knew Steve had pushed the bruises down around it to save it, if that’s why it was so unbridled and unabashed in hammering against that touch, that touch—
“I think I heard you.”
And Steve? Big eyes framed with those feather lashes, stretched wide and all made of shine and earnest fucking feeling?
“You didn’t…want to lose me?” Eddie’s voice had been so small, so so small because he did think he’d heard that, and the wisps of recollection, of a frantic but resolute voice demanding of him: what he was able to collect and try to tie into a whole matched up when he paired it all with Steve in his head, but what if he was wrong?
What if it was all just fever dreams and wishful thinking on his deathbed, what if Steve had no investment in him beyond keeping the Party safe in its entirety, no exceptions; what if Eddie was fucking wrong and showed too much of his hand with this, with Steve’s palm pressed to his thrashing heart and—
Then Steve was brining his free hand to Eddie’s cheek, fucking…cradling it like it fucking meant something, like he could matter and—
“I couldn’t lose you.”
Oh.
“You,” and so many possible ways to end that thought had swam through Eddie’s head—you barely know me, you can’t possibly care if I live or die, I cannot matter one fucking bit in your universe, so why would it matter but Steve’s hand was warm under his, and Steve didn’t pull away, only leaned in, only stayed close enough that Eddie could feel his breath on his skin and Steve could chart the way Eddie’s heart took to pummelling his already-taxed ribs but it didn’t matter, it couldn’t matter because Steve held there, so careful of the pain but nothing short of steady, devoted, a soul-sworn guard of that heart under his hand like it did matter, like Eddie did…
Like Steve ever could—
“Stevie,” Eddie would probably have flushed if the situation had been anything but what it was. If his heart wasn’t racing into Steve’s touch at the chest and just under the jaw where Steve’s thumb pressed almost proprietary, almost like a shield but also like a welcome, like the idea of Eddie’s heart beating into him wasn’t a dealbreaker, and fuck, fuck—
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Steve breathed out against him, prickling dangerous across his skin and Eddie’s heart leapt a little, fuck; more than a little and Steve felt it, front-row-center, couldn’t not feel it but he just leaned closer still, and Eddie was front-row himself to the catch in Steve’s inhale, undeniable and unapologetic as he murmured low, turning into Eddie’s cheek a little and Eddie maybe resented how it forced him to pull away,until his lips brushed the tip of Eddie’s jawbone and drew a whole ass shudder down his goddamn spine.
“Just know,” Steve gasped there, fucking…panted and hell if it didn’t catch in Eddie’s blood like pure bliss; “just know why.”
And fuck, but Eddie could only press in to the warmth of Steve’s lips where they moved for the words alone, let alone what words; what Eddie thought maybe they meant—
“Me too,” Eddie rasped a little, because fuck him, man; this was something…something else, swelling up in his chest so strong and Steve had to be able to feel it where he still held against him, palm to his galloping pulse at the source, feeling the life he coaxed back into the world.
“Does it have to make sense just yet?” Eddie asked, knew he sounded too hopeful, too desperate, more than he’d earned, than was safe but his heart kept knocking against that hand, so fucking insistent and who was he to deny it, to try and wrestle in into being less when he couldn’t even hide it, when it was evident to the man it was leaping at; for.
“I don’t think so,” Steve mouthed more than spoke where his lips dragged wet across the stubble on Eddie’s cheek.
“Then,” Eddie tipped his head, tried to catch Steve’s eyes, aimed to reason, to convince but the moment he moved, Steve dipped his chin just so to take Eddie’s lips, to kiss so hard, so complete with what felt like it couldn’t even be reasoned as less than all of him, because how could less than all feel like this—
Fucking impossible.
And Eddie couldn’t shy away—as Steve kissed him breathless, left him gasping; Eddie couldn’t shy away from the sense that he was being killed and revived all over again, endless and unbreaking, and it was perfection.
Jesus fuck.
And the kicker was that…weeks passed. A whole month, close to another. And if anything changed it was all for the better, for the more and Eddie wasn’t entirely sure what to do with it, if he was entirely honest. He…the bruise healed, y’know? That brand above his heart but—
He didn’t need it anymore. That was the thing. He didn’t need to see.
He was very fucking aware. Every minute of every day. He was…so aware. It could kill him better than those bats, it was so big and so much, and so quick, but with all that, probably because of all that: Eddie’d never felt anything even remotely like what it meant to shake off sleep and have Steve Harrington kiss you to wakefulness, to hold you for the nightmares as much as the news of small victories on the road to recovery: never wavering.
Never leaving.
When Eddie got the go-ahead to continue his rehab outpatient-style, his original conviction that all of this ended at the latest upon discharge was immediately challenged, because Steve had become so much more than he’d started as, but Eddie still worried. Made himself sick over it.
Felt like an indefensible monster as Steve rubbed his back, brought him soup, tended him like Eddie didn’t cause his own suffering, and all for the terror of losing the very man who was there, without question.
Then he signed himself out, and Steve drove him home.
Save that Eddie recognized where they were headed and…he only knew one person in Loch Nora.
“Your uncle’s still in the motel by the plant,” Steve had explained what Eddie already knew but hadn’t put together when Eddie raised an eyebrow in askance, wholly unsure how to process any of this, any of this; unsure how to hope in the face of what he was seeing, held against what he was wishing.
“Government’s being fucking assholes about setting you up with someplace appropriate,” and something in Steve’s tone had made plain that he was not just very clear on what constituted ‘appropriate’, he was probably actively involved somehow in holding the people in question rightly accountable for appropriate, and nothing less.
And Eddie…he did say he didn’t need a mark you could see on his heart, didn’t he.
“You need the room while you get better,” Steve murmured as he killed the engine, and lifted Eddie’s hand to his lips, pressed his mouth on the knuckles, nuzzling a little, eyes closed and Eddie…Eddie didn’t know what to do.
The only saving grace was that he didn’t have a monitor to rat his ass out when his heart started trying to escape orbit—fuck just his ribs, how pedestrian—this time.
They sat in a living room that looked like it was once absolutely pristine and still was, mostly, but up close Eddie could see little snags on the sofa, could feel the texture of the fabric different under his fingers for scrubbing out a stain. He suspected four infamously unmannered teenagers were the culprits. The remaining stiffness of the cushions was good for the way his body was still working through being gnawed apart, but he was gone far enough to kind of immediately hope he’d see how they wore with love and use and maybe something more once they got there, once Eddie’s body cooperated again, because he…Steve brought him home.
And maybe they didn’t have to stop when Eddie left the hospital. Maybe he didn’t have to lose.
He’d only made it shortly past the best fucking grilled cheese he’d maybe ever tasted, and he didn’t think it was only because it was his first meal without an aftertaste of sterile in too fucking long—but he only lasted a little more than an hour before Steve’d helped him to a guest room on the first floor that’d obviously been reworked for him, from the way he could reach the bed from just inside the door, to the fucking posters that he knew for a fact Steve wouldn’t have had on hand, and Eddie’d giggled a little wetly at the Ozzy one, because he figured the man steadying him at his side would never be anything but intertwined with the Prince of Darkness in his mind, now—but Steve, who’d more than proven he was so far beyond any kind of king, won hands down. By a landslide.
And who could have seen that coming?
“Careful,” Steve chided him gently as he guided Eddie slowly down to the mattress and made to tuck him in, and the word was so warm, so warm but Eddie had to…
He had to reach. Again. He needed Steve, he…needed.
The handprint on top of his heart didn’t need to be a thing he could see, but he needed Steve to…know some level of what he was feeling, of how much was inside him already, and growing, the momentum building and he didn’t want to feed it, didn’t want to let it run if he wasn’t going to have someone to catch it, to run with him but he also didn’t think there was any chance to stop it, now, he didn’t think he could trim it back or tame it from consuming him and he wasn’t sure he’d even want to if he actually had the power because it was the best feeling he’d ever known, even if it was terrifying, even if it could hurt him more than anything he’d ever known and—
“I don’t want to be alone,” was what spilled from his lips with Steve’s hand above his heartbeat as it pumped so goddamn hard it couldn’t be denied, it couldn’t be misconstrued, and he didn’t want to sleep alone, didn’t want to lose what he’d rebuilt himself around all these weeks, he—
“Good,” and Steve leaned down, cradled Eddie’s face and tipped him up to kiss him full, hard, one hand still on his chest because that was the mark, the promise, the fight for all that this was and all it could be like a fucking vow and Eddie melted for it on sight, on contact.
“Because I’m not leaving,” and Steve brushed the tip of his nose back and forth against Eddie’s, his smile like honey in his tone as he pecked Eddie on the lips one more time before stretching his hand to follow him across the bed, to crawl to the other side and slide in next to Eddie, to carefully arrange him against Steve’s body, to wrap around him with so much care, to touch nothing too tender and everything safe to hold as Steve tucked his face against Eddie’s neck and kissed behind his ear as he breathed:
“Never gonna leave you all alone again.”
And Eddie believed him.
Eddie believed him.
And when, weeks later when Eddie was hurting less and moving more, perched in the corner of the couch that was starting to give a little under persistent weight, starting to feel like it was meant to be used and lend comfort; as Eddie was poking at campaign notes for the gremlins, pen caught between his teeth, he only paused when he felt the gravity of a familiar gaze settle on him—not immediately, because he liked just existing in it, feeling its heft, but after enough moments to satisfy him he looked up, met those eyes and felt them in his goddamn soul as he asked:
“What?”
And Steve had just kept on staring, the bare hint of a quirk at the corners of his lips spreading to the full sunrise of his smile.
“You fit, here,” and he’d said it so simply, so…much like a truth, a fact of the universe—Eddie Munson fits, belongs in this place, this space, this home, this life—and then the smile dimmed ever so slightly, cloud cover across the shine as Steve shifted a little, crossed his arms loose but still as a barrier over his chest: “if you want to, I mean—”
And Eddie sat up straighter, and he reached both his hands out to Steve because:
“I want to,” it was all he wanted, really; it wasso far beyond his wildest dreams but it was real, Eddie could see and touch it, taste it, feel it through his blood when it pumped, tracking through his whole body, filling up his heart overfull and magnificent and he as just…
“Sweetheart,” he took Steve’s hands and tugged him down to sit next to Eddie, settled him so close; “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want that.”
He leaned back, wholly prone and never once letting go of Steve’s hands, never once doing anything but keeping them laced together and anchored, locked tight and Steve matched him, followed him as Eddie drew him to his healed-enough chest to settle right at the center, to hear Eddie’s heartbeat for the declaration it was, it already was in its entirety:
“You fit here.”
And he did. They both did. Their worlds had shifted, grew around the shapes they made together and after not-long-at-all, they fit so fucking well that it was bespoke to their cells, they’d never fit anyone else. It was quick and it was heady and it was fucking right.
For months
And then it all went to shit.
Because Steve decided what should have been expected, honestly—that Eddie wasn’t worth the hassle, that he wasn’t right for Steve, that Steve’s staggeringly-expansive capacity for love was wasted to hell on this low-life dipshit who couldn’t even graduate on his third try at high school, who maybe didn’t have a murder charge anymore in the legal system but would never wash it clean from the court of public opinion, who was…trouble. Always trouble.
Not fucking worth it.
It’s just…Eddie never thought Steve would stop wanting him. He maybe went in reticent at first, but Steve had loved so hard out the gate that as soon as he knew he was allowed, and welcome? Eddie didn’t hesitate to meet that love beat for beat.
He just never imagined his love would ever be unwelcome; that that's how his heart would break.
What breaks in the moment, though—the heartbreak is constant, and unfortunately proving to be kinda fucking unending, really—but what breaks now is…possibly the handle on the front door for the way someone’s banging and jiggling it back and forth like the first time it didn’t give against the lock was just a fluke.
He frowns, considers waiting out whoever’s enough of a dick to knock like that but apparently not so witch-hunty to throw a brick through the window—which: Eddie will take progress, he guesses—but when a concerning creak sounds from near the hinges, Eddie thinks of Wayne, and how his uncle doesn’t deserve a broken front door, so.
Heartbroken or not, Eddie has to drag himself to deal with…this.
Then he’s throwing the door open and…this is—
“We need to talk.”
This should have been expected. There’s really only one little asshole who’d assault his door with that much…determination.
“Henderson—” Eddie huffs, because he knows he needs to set a date for them all to get together, he left the campaign they were in kinda dangling on a thread when he didn’t hold the gatherings at St—
Well, when their regularly scheduled venue became too much for Eddie’s heart to handle.
Which: okay, fine, he gets it but like, he can’t care as much as he maybe should when he feels like this, and the kids need to fucking take a chill pill and if they can’t understand, then at least they can just shut the fuck up for at a couple more weeks while Eddie licks his wounds and sees if they decide to finally scab over enough that he doesn’t keep with busting them back open every time he breathes—
“About Steve.”
Eddie’s heart shudders just to hear the name. He’s avoided hearing it for weeks, now; it hurts too much.
He hears it enough in his own head, in his dreams, in his nightmares when he see the worst, in the cadence of his fucking pulse because his heart doesn’t know how not to be Steve’s, kinda feels like it’s not interested in learning, will never be anything other than what it is now, forever, and—
“We need to talk about what you did to Steve.”
Wait.
Wait, what he did to—
What?
❄️
>>> part ii
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for @kultiras🖤
✨permanent tag list: OPEN (lmk if you want to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @nerdyglassescheeseychick @swimmingbirdrunningrock @goodolefashionedloverboi @sanctumdemunson @theheadlessphilosopher @sadisticaltarts @bumblebeecuttlefishes @shrimply-a-menace @wheneverfeasible @1-tehe-1 @themoonagainstmers @dreamercec @ravenfrog @live-laugh-love-dietrich @stealthysteveharrington @tinyplanet95 @theohohmoment @samsoble @tinyloonyteacups @askitwithflours @awkwardgravity1 @pretend-theres-a-name-here @dragoon-ze-great
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leashybebes · 3 months ago
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Congrats on the increased follower count, you deserve it after exes detriments (sorry, I can’t remember the official name) but here’s a prompt for you:
Buck and Tommy struggle to find time in their schedules to see each other
aww, thank you so much! 💛💛 and thanks for the prompt!
Buck knows he should be getting some rest. But if he has to lie sleepless in his bunk and listen to Chim snore much longer, he's going to do something drastic. He creeps out of the bunk room, shoots off a text, and makes his way up to the roof. He's barely sat down by the time his phone rings.
"Hi," he says, and he feels breathless and eager all over again. Still.
"Did you seriously just 'u up?' me, Evan? Aren't you at work?"
"Hey, it was a sincere question. You can tell by the lack of the eggplant emoji."
"You're ridiculous."
"Yeah," Buck agrees easily. "I miss you. And your eggplant."
"Evan!" Tommy's so good at sounding scandalized and delighted all at once and Buck grins.
"What are you doing after your shift on Tuesday?"
"Errands, then therapy, then sleep."
"Gotcha. I'm working Wednesday."
"Me too. Thursday?" Tommy suggests.
"Looking after Jee," Buck says, and while he's never going to regret time spent with his niece, this is starting to get ridiculous. "They should be picking her up by eight?"
"Drinks with the team at nine," Tommy says, and he does sound regretful, but part of Tommy working on himself is trying to let himself have more meaningful connections, both in quantity and depth, so Buck's not about to try talking him out of that. "And you're working Friday."
"Yeah. And you have that private flying lesson Saturday, right?"
"Yeah. Should be done mid afternoon if that's any good?"
Buck rubs his hand over his face. "Video call with Eddie and Chris at four, and then I'm supposed to be going for dinner at Maddie's."
"Ah."
"I could come over after?"
"I'd need to leave before seven for my Sunday shift."
"Honestly, at this point, I'll take it."
"Evan."
Buck sighs. "I know, I know."
They're dating now, is the thing. Not going on a couple of dates and then weaving their lives together without discussing it until it blows up in their faces. Actually dating.
"I could - I could tell them. You could come with me."
There's a long, heavy silence.
"I don't think I'm ready for that."
Because they're also keeping it to themselves for now. They both want to see where it goes without any outside influence, to see what it is they settle into when it's just them. It's honestly - it's kind of fun, having this little secret to themselves, going further afield than they usually would for dates, trying new places and new things. But it can't go on forever, and although he's only referred to it jokingly, Buck knows Tommy's worried what people will think - that he screwed up too bad, that they'll hate him, that they'll tell Buck he's an idiot to give him a second chance. Buck's pretty sure that's not on the cards - Maddie might go a little overprotective big sister with a side of pregnancy hormones, but he thinks that'll be it. And that's nothing they can't handle.
"Hey," he says. "Can we talk about this sometime? Check in, see where we're at?"
"Yeah," Tommy promises. "Of course."
"Okay. Monday, then?"
"Monday," Tommy agrees. "My neighbour's been raving about this seafood restaurant in Santa Barbara if you're up for a bit of a drive?"
"Sounds good. Monday's so far away, though," Buck laments.
"I can hear the pout from here, Evan," Tommy teases.
"Well," Buck says, letting his voice drop deliberately into a tone that never fails to make Tommy a bit wild. "You'll just have to buy me a nice meal and kiss it better, huh?"
"God, Evan - "
"I'm off Tuesday too. Maybe we find a nice little bed and breakfast and make a night of it? I can show you just how you how much I've missed - "
He hears the door open behind him and his mouth snaps shut. "Gotta go. Call you later."
Tommy lets out a huff of laughter. "Bye, Evan. Be safe."
"You too," Buck says, as Bobby drops into the chair next to his.
"Hey, Cap."
"Couldn't sleep?"
"With Chim sawing logs one bunk over? I'm amazed anybody can."
"You don't normally struggle."
Buck shrugs, tries not to meet Bobby's eye. Everyone used to tease him about his Tommy-face, his Tommy-voice, his Tommy-pout, and for all they're taking it slow - and they are - Buck knows he's right back there. If Eddie wasn't in Texas, he's pretty sure their secret would have lasted a week, and Bobby's the next best thing when it comes to reading Buck with a glance.
"You doing okay?" Bobby asks.
"Yep! Real good."
"Hm. Apropos of nothing at all, Kaur from B shift is looking for cover. You interested in Friday off in exchange for a six to six Saturday?"
"Yes! I mean. Yeah, I can do that."
Bobby shoots him an amused look. "Okay, then. Happy for you, kid."
Buck grins up at the dark sky. He can push his call with Chris and Eddie a little later, and still make it on time for dinner with Maddie and Chim.
"You coming back inside?"
"In a minute," Buck says. "Just gotta make a call."
"Uh-huh. Tell him hi from me if you like," Bobby offers, patting Buck's shoulder as he goes.
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tevaselmundogiraalreves · 1 month ago
Text
BUDDIE FIC RECS PART 2
Okay heres more fics cause ive been reading so so much lately, i cannot and will not be stopped. Heres the first list. I will most prob keep on making lists cause i honestly cannot stop reading. Once again, in no particular order:
Songbird by @colonoscopys - Goes first cause i just finished reading this one. FREAK EDDIE IS MY PASION. I said it already but at one point eddie eats bucks hair. Its awesome! FreakxFreak DumbxDumb
a bleeding sun on a silver screen by @hoediaz EVERYONE ALREADY READ THIS ONE RIGHT? IF NOT WTF ARE YOU EVEN DOING GO! ACTORS AU YOU WILL NE FAMOUS FOREVER.
chess inside my chest by @buick118 - HELLOOOO THIS ONE FIXED SOMETHING INSIDE MY CHEST "heart clipped in the backseat with his headphones already secured over his ears." I NEED AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS WRITING ❤️‍🩹
Two, Three Times in a Row by leslie_knope i honestly have no words for how much i love this fic, i reread it all the time, like ive reread it so much its embarrasing. Some of the best smut ive read.
wanna do a bad thing twice by @coldbam BUCK IS SUCH A FREAK GOD HE IS SUCH A FREAK
(You know what actually there are 2 more fics were buck is the freakiest hes ever been so ill put them right below ⬇️)
slow motion, double vision in rose blush by @saryasy Eddie Diaz. His friend. His Eddie. Has kissed a man. Which is strange because Buck is sure as hell he'd remember kissing Eddie.
Me at Buck: FREAAAAAAAAK
Also special mention to that flashback WOW!
i can tell just what you want (you don't want to be alone) by @tallsinspace Buck loses it every single time this is so awesome, it was so FUN reading INFIDELEDDIE this hiatus 🫶🏽
songs and poems and promises by @lesbianrobin buck summer of disatisfaction turns around thanks to eddie god they are so in love! Also special mention to chim well and maddie lets fucking goooooo
we keep this love in a photograph by @burnthatbridge its just so so freaking beautiful. Buck chooses eddies pics for his dating app after he comes out...
the tortured poets department by @colonoscopys once again the kind of fic that you wanna reread again and again.
"The first time Buck touched him, Eddie blew an ambulance up."
still sitting in a corner i haunt by @cal-daisies-and-briars i just love this one so much, should reread it, trust me its worth it.
we're not in love (but the sex is good) by elless. Idk i loved this one. Buddie are not even friends they just want the benefits as soon as they meet. The transition from that to them actually getting to know each other so naturally and start caring about each other is so beautiful.
in the passenger seat by @livingincolorsagain Evan Buckley was put on God’s green earth to drive Eddie Diaz around.
Just BEAUTIFUL.
tying you to me by @hoediaz ONCE AGAIN PERFECT TYPE OF WRITING. Buddie meet each other after 5x11. SO ORIGINAL GOD.
the soft animal of your body by @hattalove . This is a coda to another fic but can be read on its own. Just beautiful beautiful love making. I think i commented that i felt like they were making love with the words they were saying to each other just sitting on the kitchen table talking.
we could follow the sparks, i’ll drive by @markofalover bucks kink should be people calling him mr. diaz and thinking hes eddies husband.
Wait for me there by @kitkatpancakestack Childhood friends reunite after 8 years. I just really really loved this one. Those flashbacks to the past are so beautiful.
wanna be your endgame by literalmetaphor gotta be honest dont see this happening in canon at all cause the second eddie confesses buck would go down on his knees lets be honest. BUT this was so great! I loved it.
Pivot Tables by rainbowninja167 Does it show that i love reading buddie being so freaky and so kinky. Ill just say this: educational sex. Buck brings on the clipboard. Obsessed with this one.
I Broke What You Gave Me, But You Kept Giving More by rcdwings. memory loss buck cant remember his husband. Listen im not always a fun of memory loss fics but i loved this one i loved the twist.
there's a word for it, I'm sure by @ithilien-writes i have to reread this one asap cause i loved it so so much they are just so in love with each other but cant admit it so they just start having sex about it. And god they love esch other.
i could give you fifty reasons by @marviless buck FLIRTS with eddie cause he just want ti help. God this one was so much fun. I remember laughing out loud. I gotta reread.
beating the horse by @doitbuckley Eddie is moving to Texas. Buck finally figures out what he wants. Perfect read to the end of 8a.
In the Back Seat, Windows Up by @semperama SEX IN THE BACKSIT OF THE TRUCK LETSFUCKINGGOOOOOO
Play Me For Keeps by @semperama this one made me feel so MANY things in less than 1k words I WAS WONDERSTRUCK HONESTLY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR
would you lie with me and just forget the world by @colonoscopys reread this one recently GODDDDD if you havent just go read it right now!!! Childhood friends to lovers for the win always.
your beauty (not just a mask) by @aashiqeddiediaz these next two fics GOD well i have a thing for mirrors and sex in front of mirrors apparently so... this i top tier for me. This one is the shorter one in front of the bathroom mirror 100/10 no notes.
my mirror (staring back at me) by @aashiqeddiediaz this one is longer. Mirror in the bedroom......... Eddie notices bucks insecurities and well he does smth about it ❤️‍🔥 such a fave of mine. It has everything!!!
Dreaming of a White Christmas by rosebuddiekin . Oh boy!!!... just gonna leave the blurb here cause no words could ever be enough: "Buck accepts a challenge to be edged in his and Eddie's own version of the 12 Days of Christmas and loses his mind a little more with each one." (Btw if someone knows the author please lmk. They put a link to their tumblr on ao3 but it doesnt work for me.)
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munsonsmixtapes · 27 days ago
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older! eddie who is intimidated by your younger male friends
cw: hurt/comfort, age gap (reader is 25, Eddie 40)
You and Eddie enter the party and he immediately feels uncomfortable. He doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he’s the oldest person there or maybe it’s because he just wanted to stay in with you. This is your debut as a couple and you’re so excited to show him off.
He doesn’t know why since he’s much older than you and none of your friends don’t seem to understand why you’re together. He’s just feeling a bit insecure but he’s not going to let that ruin his night. He’s going to have fun with you and that’s what matters.
You loop your arm through his and lead him into the house, introducing him to all of your friends. It isn't until he comes across your male friends that a strange feelings arises inside him. He doesn't know what it is or where it came from, but what he does know is that he feels out of place.
"Guys, this is Eddie," you introduce him, beaming from ear to ear. All he can do is shake the hands of your friends as they introduce themselves, not really feeling chatty like he normally is. He honestly just wants to go home, but he's going to stay for you.
He looks at all of them, sitting on the couch and he's sure that it won't hurt them to stand up like it will for him. He's wondering now why you're with him when any of these other men would be better suited for the role. He's fifteen years older than you for crying out loud.
He's never cared, especially since you're an adult, but now he's starting to feel like his age. He can't compete with these guys. They're all in their late twenties and definitely don't have that chronic lower back pain that he always experiences.
He can't stay, not now. The whole thing feels weird to him now, being here with all of your significantly younger friends and he feels like he really shouldn't be there. So he excuses himself for a smoke.
You follow him because something feels off to you. You have a feeling that he's just going to leave without saying goodbye. Everyone else might not have been able to see how uncomfortable he was, but you can. You saw it the second you walked through the door. And you completely understand why he would feel that way. What you don't understand is why he wasn't honest with you.
You feel awful that you dragged him here and that he agreed because he wants to make you happy, but you wish he would have told you the truth. That's more important to you than some stupid party.
He's leaning against his van smoking a cigarette and you make a beeline for him, silently plucking the thing from his fingers and taking a drag of your own. You stand in front of him, staring at him even though he won't meet your eyes.
"You could have told me," you say, your tone coming out a bit more bitter than you intended.
"I'm sorry. I was excited, I really was. But then we got here and seeing all of your guy friends...I don't know, it made me feel old."
"You're not old, baby," you hand the cigarette back to him. "You're not old at all. I don't want you comparing yourself to them, okay? You're my man and I don't want any of them. I just want you." You press your lips to his then take him by the hands. "Now come show me how not old you are, hm?" You open the back of the van and he follows, fully intending on doing exactly that.
taglist: @the-witty-pen-name @k-yurieee
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brbsoulnomming · 3 months ago
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Heart On Your Sleeve Part 8
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7
written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!
-----
The kids leave the next day, after Steve's heart has mostly reformed itself. It's still a little beat up and mangled, but it's clearly a heart again, and it barely hurts anymore.
He doesn't know how he'll ever be able to thank them.
Eddie doesn't call.
His house stops being empty.
Robin's over almost constantly, their hearts in each other's chests more often than not. He can tell Robin's worried about him, and he likes feeling her emotions - it tells him when she's upset, or sad, and he can respond without her having to say anything.
The rest of the kids are over almost as constantly, as though his house has just become the de facto hang out.
He minds it a lot less than he pretends to.
Erica sulks at him, and he can't figure out why until Lucas makes a comment about their heart sharing and she rolls her eyes so hard he's afraid they're going to pop out.
Steve frowns at her, hanging back after the others have gone on into the kitchen.
“That's an extra level of snide, even for you,” he says.
She gives him a look. “You want it directed at you?”
He holds up his hands. “What'd I do?”
Her look only becomes more unimpressed. “You had my brother over for your little healing pow-wow? He wasn't even part of Scoops Troop.”
Oh.
That's.
Oh.
Never in a hundred years did he think Erica Sinclair would be throwing a fit because she didn't get to be a part of their group heart sharing, but here it is.
“You want to swap?” Steve asks.
Erica scoffs at him. “I don't need your pity heart exchange.”
“It's not pity,” he protests.
This time the look practically burns through him.
“Robin and I do it all the time,” he insists. “It's easier. It means we can understand the way the other one feels without having to figure out how to say it.”
Her eyebrows raise. “And you want to know how I feel?”
Steve holds out his hand in response.
She stares at him for a long moment, then sighs in a far too long suffering manner before she takes her heart out and gives it to him. He exchanges his for hers, and -
“Is it messed up again?” Dustin demands. “Why didn't you tell me?”
He honestly isn't sure if the surge of somewhat affectionate irritation he feels is his or Erica's, and he exchanges what he suspects is a near identical look with her.
Dustin narrows his eyes at them. “What's this look you're doing, I really don't like it on both of you.”
“That's because it's bad news for you,” Erica retorts.
“We're just swapping,” Steve says.
“It's what you do when someone is a little too hard headed and out of touch with their feelings to realize how insensitive they're being.”
That is absolutely not what Steve had been going for, but Erica says it with such superiority and Dustin is looking so contemplative at it that he just sighs and goes with it.
Erica shoots him a smug little look - she knows exactly what she's doing and how he feels about it.
“Mike!” Dustin shouts. “Come here, we're swapping, so you can know that I'm right!”
Steve groans, but there's no stopping it now.
Swaps are called to settle arguments, to prove that this movie really is scary guys come on, for a dozen other reasons until Steve honestly can't be sure who has whose heart at any given moment.
He'd worry about the effects of so much heart swapping, but - the kids seem happy. Sometimes he even catches them just sitting with each other and swapping, and after everything they've lost - who is he to say what's healthy and what isn't?
Steve can't complain.
Well. He can, and he does, but he also knows this is probably the happiest he's ever been in this house, so he doesn't complain too much.
Eddie still doesn't call.
He doesn't answer, either, when Steve calls him. Any of the times Steve calls him.
Steve drives out there, once, stupidly. He's pretty sure he can hear Eddie's music, but the trailer’s dark, and no one answers.
Steve takes the hint after that.
He doesn't let anyone but Robin swap with him for a while, as long as he can get away with. He doesn't really have a name for what he's feeling - he doesn't want to put a name to what he's feeling - and she doesn't make him.
The Hopper-Byers are moving.
None of the party take it well, but it seems to hit Max the hardest.
Or at least, he assumes it does, because she's suddenly not over for a week straight, and Steve knows avoidance when he sees it.
He finds her sitting at the skate park, all alone, but she doesn't protest when he sits down next to her.
“Swap?” Steve asks softly.
Max rolls her eyes. “I'm fine.”
He gives her the most unimpressed look he can muster.
She scoffs, then gives him one right back. “Okay, so, what, you want to feel angry and miserable too?”
Steve weighs his options for a moment, considering how to respond, then decides just to go for honesty. “Yeah,” he says simply. “I'm not here just for the good stuff, Mayfield, I'm here for all of it.”
She looks at him for a long moment, her expression hard. Then she wrenches her chest open.
He pops his open, too, taking his heart out and offering it to her. Steve expects her to take it and put her own in his hand, but instead she shoves her own heart into his chest before he can so much as blink, snatching his out of his hand. He blinks at her, but - yeah, okay, fine, that works.
She is angry, and miserable. She hated Billy, and she's still sad, and El is the only one who really gets her, and she knows that's not true, and everyone leaves, and he hasn't left, and she loves and she hates and she's so tired.
Steve can't really put any of it into words, but he doesn't have to.
He just has to be there.
School starts, and it gets quieter. He and Dustin still have their weekly movie nights, and he plays ball with Lucas, cooks dinner with Max, but Robin's the only one over as much as she used to be.
It's - actually fine, this time. He gets a job at Family Video, and he hangs out with Robin and spends time with the kids and goes on dates, and he's still happy.
Well, except the going on dates bit. Something's missing, something obvious, but he tells himself that's fine, too.
Dustin starts talking about Eddie, a few months into school.
Well, he talks about Hellfire, which Steve doesn't really put together at first, but he's happy Dustin's having fun with his club.
When he mentions Eddie, Steve probes a little, asks how he joined up. Dustin lights up, talking about how Eddie looked out for them starting from day one, even if he's definitely a little scary at times, and Steve -
“Swap?” Robin asks the second she gets to his house later, like she took one look at him and knew he needed it.
They both need it, actually.
She has feelings about Vickie, and he has feelings about Eddie, and they're both complicated and messy and neither of them know what to do about it.
“Ask her out,” Steve tells her.
“She doesn't even like girls!”
“How do you know?”
“How do you know?”
And that's - point, okay, Steve has nothing to counter that. Yet. He just has to start collecting proof.
Robin feels his intentions and gives a dramatic huff, but she doesn't try to stop him.
She won't admit it, but she's grateful.
“Do you regret asking Eddie out?” she asks.
He makes a face. “I mean, I didn't ask him out so much as take him out a bunch of times, realize like halfway through it that's what I was doing, and then he ran the second I made it obvious, so… I guess I regret not actually asking him.”
She considers that. “Do you think it would have changed anything?”
“I don't know,” he admits. “Maybe I could have made it so he didn't feel like he had to run, maybe we could have still been friends? I wish I'd known what I was doing and I'd done it different, but… I think I'd regret it more if I didn't try at all.”
She drops her shoulder against his. “Of course you would. You always go for what you want, it's like you have no fear.”
He has plenty of fear - she's felt it - but not about shooting his shot. She's right; he's a man of action, and he's not sure he knows how to be anything else.
“Ugh, let's stop talking about it. I'm glad he's still a good guy and is watching out for the little shits, end of story.”
It's not the end of the story, but for now, they both let it be.
Dustin calls him to beg him to play in Hellfire with him, and Steve groans audibly.
“Does Eddie know you're asking me?” he asks.
Dustin scoffs. “Of course not, but I have to show up with someone on Friday.”
Steve frowns. “On Friday? That's the championship game. Lucas is playing.”
Dustin groans, and Steve makes a little bit of a face at himself when he realizes the kid sounds almost exactly like him.
“Don't remind me,” Dustin grumbles. “He's the reason we have to find someone in the first place.”
“Lucas asked you to find someone to sub in for him?”
Steve doesn't even need Dustin's heart to be able to tell the silence that follows is guilty as hell.
“Dustin,” Steve says.
“Ugh, fine! Lucas asked us to come to the stupid game. He asked us to get Eddie to move Hellfire so he wouldn't miss the last session.”
“And did you?” Steve prompts.
“Of course!” Dustin says, indignant. “Eddie was pissed. Called Lucas a traitor, said now it was our responsibility to find someone to fill in for Lucas since he ditched us.”
That - isn’t what Steve was expecting at all.
“And instead of standing up for Lucas, you're doing what Eddie says?”
“He ditched us!” Dustin insists.
Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “Go swap with Lucas.”
Dustin makes an almost incomprehensible noise of protest.
“Swap with Lucas, and tell him what Eddie said. If you guys come to an agreement and you still need a sub, I'll think about it.”
He'd rather watch Lucas play, and that's sure as hell what he's going to do if Dustin doesn't follow through, but if both Lucas and Dustin agree, then he'll sub in.
Not just to give Eddie a piece of his mind about this whole thing.
“You're no help!” Dustin retorts, hanging the phone up.
Robin leans against him. “Are we talking about it now?”
He considers that, then wordlessly takes his heart out and offers it to her. They swap, sitting in silence for a moment as they adjust to each other's feelings.
She's upset. He is, too, though not about exactly the same thing.
“I'm still not mad at him for how things went between him and me,” he says.
“I am,” she replies, sharp and firm. “He made your heart hurt, I still think I should get to kick his ass.”
It's not Eddie's fault, though, not as far as Steve's concerned. Steve was the one that fumbled around without knowing what he was doing, that came on too strong. He didn't get it then, but now that he knows Robin and Will and how difficult things are for them - he understands it better.
But one of the things that made Steve fall for Eddie in the first place was the way he watched out for people. It wasn't the same way Steve did it, but - they were both protective, both willing to take the hits so other people wouldn't have to. It's disappointing to see how he's pitting the kids against each other like this.
He wishes they were still friends, wishes he could call him and ask what was going on.
“If he hurts one of the kids’ hearts, then you can kick his ass,” he says finally, once he's worked through his feelings and felt Robin's support.
It comes back, because it always does.
It comes back, and Eddie comes back, and Steve wasn't expecting that.
There's tension in the boathouse even after everything's been explained, and Steve knows everyone can feel it.
Knows because it's only a few moments before Dustin's announcing, “Hearts out! We'll show you we mean it, right, guys?”
Steve sneaks a look over at Max. He still hasn't gotten a really good look at her heart since after the 4th, but maybe - no, she clearly hasn't shown anyone else here, because she's gone pale, and she looks a combination of pissed and afraid.
“Dustin,” Steve snaps, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice and failing a little. “Did you forget that some of us have hearts that aren't all that reassuring to see?”
Dustin's expression scrunches for a moment, and Steve feels most of his irritation fade away as he realizes that, yeah, Dustin did forget that.
“Oh,” Dustin says quietly. “It's okay, Steve, you don't-”
“No,” he cuts him off, still a little annoyed. “Look, we all know that I'm the one causing doubt here, right? I'll show my heart so Munson knows I mean it and we can get this over with.”
He doesn't want to, but he wants even less for this to put a spotlight on Max.
So he takes his heart out, gets back in close enough for Eddie to see it, says, “We're not lying, man, I promise.”
His heart beats true, true, true in his hands, but Eddie's eyes are going wide and wet as he stares at Steve's heart, and he isn't any less pale.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he whispers. “What the hell happened?”
“Nothing you have to worry about,” he replies, putting his heart back in his chest as soon as he can. “It's not going to happen to you.”
It comes out a little more protective than he'd intended, and it makes Eddie's eyes dart up to his, trying to search for something in there. Steve can't tell what, and he doesn't have Eddie's heart in his chest to help him out.
Strange, how quickly he's come to rely on having that familiarity with those he cares about.
Less strange that Eddie is still someone he cares about.
“Do you want to see mine?” Eddie asks, soft enough that Steve's pretty sure he's the only one who can hear it.
Steve does, is the thing. He really does.
But not like this.
“Do you want me to?” he asks, just as soft.
Eddie looks away, silent enough that Steve knows what the answer is without him saying anything.
“People try to make me show it all the time,” Eddie says, a little bitter. “I'm not trustworthy, you know. I'm not honest. I'm just going to screw them over.”
Steve's quiet for a moment, unsure what to say. He doesn't know how to tell him that Steve's never seen him that way, that all those other people are stupid.
Finally, he settles on, “I still haven't asked.”
Eddie turns to look at him again, his eyes gone molten. “No,” he says softly. “You haven't.”
Steve gives a half shrug. “There you go then.”
This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!
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Part 9
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