#I honestly don't know how else to tag this
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As a person who frequently posts in the transandrophobia tag about the issues trans men have to deal with, let me be explicitly clear:
I want you to do what is right for you.
I'm honestly not concerned about your transition, your detransition, or otherwise nuanced state of transness. I speak about the struggles trans men & mascs often experience, not to discourage anyone from transitioning, but rather to educate and arm you with knowledge. It is harder to stand up for yourself when you can't even recognize when you're being wronged. It's harder to stand up for yourself when you think your systemic troubles are actually just personal failings, or when you don't have the language to express what's happening to you. It's harder to stand up for yourself when no one else seems to be interested in standing up for you and you aren't sure if anyone else would even care that you're hurting. I speak about transandrophobia because I think the community as a whole needs more awareness and compassion for trans men & mascs & our issues. There is absolutely nothing I talk about that demands anyone change their identity or their transition plans. Fundamentally, I believe in bodily autonomy -- the right to do what you want with your own body. This is a core belief of transfeminism, and by extension, a core belief of transandrophobia theory.
We absolutely cannot allow the people who reject the theory outright define it. If you think the people who hurl insults and harassment at us to discourage us from speaking on our lived experiences are more reliable sources for what transandrophobia is about than the trans men & mascs who are literally experiencing it, then that is exactly part of the problem we're trying to address.
Stop taking these kinds of statements at face value. You have GOT to resist internalizing generalizations about whole groups of people. You should never accept any narrative without giving it some real critical thought, which does mean going out of your way to find direct sources and to analyze who is pushing what narrative and what reasons they would have to do so. In the case of transandrophobia, you need to look at the actual posts that define it, and you have to speak with trans men & mascs directly in good faith! When someone is critical of our theory, you need to ask why, and then you need to see if their criticisms hold any truth or if they are reactionary & unsupported or if they rely on biases being accepted as truth to hold up their argument.
And while I know that on the internet it isn't considered as funny or cool to be kind/neutral as it is to be mean, it is 100% possible to be critical of something without resorting to insults, dehumanization, ridicule, or harassment. That is not how you make an informed criticism. That is not how you win an argument. That is not how you call out people you (claim to) love.
So, yeah. Your personal decision to transition or not is none of my business and, in fact, is no one's business but your own. You do what's right for you! You make your own choices! That is the official position of transandrophobia theory.
Kind of mad abt the whole "Transandrophobia theory is made to make trans men wanna detransition" Idk, I wanted to detransition when I saw posts talking about how we as a group need to shut up and how we're worse off for being men BEFORE I saw other trans men talk about how this sucks. I don't think us talking about it is making us want to detransition I think you all telling us we're evil for transitioning does.
#transandrophobia#trans men#transmasc#important#psa#critical thinking#transfeminism#critical analysis#fighting misinformation#men for gender equality#feminism#bodily autonomy
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You're fucked.
Nam-gyu ( Player 124 ) x gn!reader .ᐟ
warnings : smut is all i'm gonna say . . ( cockwarming, unprotected sex, semi-public sex )
tags,, @gongyoosgf @cybrasigilism @paulilvsremus
requested by anon! idk what the word count is..
( sighs..why did this take so long to finish..no proofread tho.. )
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The images on the big screen and some people pleading to release them said it all. You were wondering how people could be so stupid and still manage to get this far. As if seeing their pathetic and whiny ass wasn't enough, the person you were trying so hard not to see was here too. Even from his repulsive voice, you knew he was here. Technically he didn’t speak, it was just that his presence here made you uncomfortable the moment you heard him chuckling at the others.
You could tell by the way he looked around with his hair tucked behind his ear and how he enjoyed watching people embarrass themselves. Because that's how it was when you first started dating. He hadn't changed at all. The way he looks at people..how he puts his hands over his mouth..and that expression on his face when he sees someone familiar. You weren't sure if he saw you or not, your view was already limited and the number of people in front of you must have prevented you from being seen as well. After looking in your direction for a good minute, he crossed his arms and brought his eyes back to the big screen.
Oh, how you hated those looks of his. Realizing with your own eyes that he was here made your blood boil even more. You sighed, your situation here was about to become even more unbearable.
Some people had already split into groups before the games started, and you went to mingle with the crowd while praying you wouldn't see him. As you stare at people with your arms crossed, your eyes go to the sound of someone clicking their mouth. Your eyebrows furrow as you look indifferently at the person the voice is coming from. Nam-gyu, who was looking down at you with his head raised, had his hands lazily stuffed into his pockets and tilted his head slightly to the left, causing some of his hair to fall from his face. The tips of his lips curve upwards and lean slightly to the side. "Are you desperate enough to end up here?" "It's funny to think that you have the right to speak out because you're in the same situation." You throw the words back in his face without even letting him finish. He raises an eyebrow at you, giving you a judgmental look. But none of that applies to you; you already know what the fuck he is.
"Our little abstract's ego has never diminished, I see."
"This is coming from someone whose ego is bigger than his dick? Hah. Don't make me laugh."
"Shut the fuck up." You realized he was clenching his hand in anger, but you honestly didn't care. Talking to the being in front of you not only got on your nerves but also gave you a headache. You didn’t miss his voice one bit. As you search your eyes for people who seems at least better than others, you realize he's taking a stubborn breath. "What? Didn't you asked me nicely to shut up?" You could have sworn he rolled his eyes on impulse. That thing he always did when he was so done.
The tension in the atmosphere was starting to bother you, so you took a step forward, passing Nam-gyu and the other people. You were so unlucky because everyone you tried to talk to was either a complete moron or a snob. As the games started, they were pulling everyone to a different area. An area where there was a giant doll and everything else was completely..empty, the top was open and a scorching heat was hitting your face. A man who you hadn't noticed before stepped forward and shouted something about the danger of the game and how you would be eliminated. Even though you couldn't hear what he was saying very well, you chose to stay in the middle rows. The front and back could be dangerous.
When the giant doll standing at the end of the platform turned her head and started talking, you understood what the game was at that moment. The man who spoke earlier, player 456, is trying to guide the others in the front and that catches your attention, and you listen to him even though you would do your own thing. You knew that when the it was red light, you had to stay still. You stood a little to the side, making sure there was no one in front of you or behind you. Suddenly you heard a screaming coming from the front and the sound of a body hitting the ground. You witnessed people around you screaming and trying to run towards the back, even though it made you flinch, you didn't move an inch. You see everyone lining up as the man shoutsz, deciding that it's something you can't handle on your own, you join them.
You freeze when a familiar touch caresses your back.
"We met again, huh.."
"Are you thirsty for death?"
"I could eliminate you right here, right now, if I wanted to."
Your voice stopped when Nam-gyu said that. He chuckled as if he heard you swallow. As soon as you reached the end of the line, he pushed you away. He ran after you, causing the sand splashing on you. He nearly made you fall to the ground but you managed to keep your balance. You snapped at him loudly. "Hey! What was this for??" "Dunno, being a spoiled brat?" What did he imply by saying this? You guys already broke up and he was still deciding what you could and could not do..You noticed his fingertips tracing the corner of his lip, he didn't say anything else as he looked at you sideways. You'd like to talk about it, but not until you see the time is up.
As they lead everyone back into the room you were in before, your eyes searched his body. You weren’t going to forget what he did right away, he should have realized that what he did was childish but it was also something that put your life at risk. You took a step towards him when you noticed where he was,but it seemed like he had already found someone to hang out with before he went inside. You chose to let it go so as not to be stubborn any longer. "Ugh..man."
Ohh, great. As if it wasn't enough to make a lot of people suffer, now they make you to vote too.. To stay or leave here. If possible, you would prefer to stay here. It seemed more logical to you to leave with a larger sum of money. Until your ex appeared in front of you. The person you assumed was his friend behind him left to talk to others, while Nam-gyu clears his throat. You bite your cheek and glance at him, not really understanding why he came. He started talking to you, His voice was monotonous yet threatening. "You're gonna vote 'O', alright?" "Excuse me?" He approached you while sucking his teeth, supporting his waist with one hand. "You're gonna press 'O', otherwise.." He waited for you to confront him as his eyes took on a darker look. But you chose not to answer him, you knew he would only get angrier that way. "You're fucked." His voice was quieter, but you knew exactly why he spoke like that. He was trying to make you feel small underneath him.
When it was time to vote, you were actually both nervous and excited. Even if he hadn't come and threatened you, you would have still chosen to stay, but you had a strange feeling inside you. When you see that the path in front of you is empty and everyone is waiting for you to walk, you gulp unnoticed and walk towards the buttons. As your hand moves towards the tip of the buttons, your head slowly turns towards where your ex is.
You notice him making a circular motion with his hand as he smiles at you with his eyes. As Nam-gyu signals for you to press the button, your head turns back to the lights in front of you and you let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.
No. It doesn't feel right to press 'O'.
Especially after he came.
Your hand suddenly presses the button with the red light, and after waiting for the pink soldiers, you move to your side. Your eyes involuntarily turn to him. The moment your eyes met, it made you flinch. You frowned and shook your head slightly, trying to get your hair out of your face. You knew this wouldn't end well, but you weren't about to just do what he said. You were sure that they would be the side that won the vote. Why would people who are so greedy for money choose to go? And just as you thought, they were the winners. You followed your own path as you watched everyone take their places, but the sound of footsteps getting faster and louder stopped you in the middle of the room. With a curse under his breath, you were pushed roughly against the nearest bed rail, Nam-gyu practically hissing at you as he narrowed his eyes at you. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His hands around your neck made it hard to breathe, and when you try to move your head, he causes you to hit the metal behind you again. He looks down on you, dragging you under him. "You better talk before I fuck your brains out."
You had nothing to say to him, it was your decision anyway. When he sees a few people gathering around you, he takes his grip off you. "Fucking brat.." His voice was a whisper loud enough for you to hear it. You started to caress your neck, brushing your hair back with one hand as you cleared your throat. Before you can stand up and start walking, you hear a few people asking you if you're okay. "Yeah, I'm fine." You walked slowly to your bed as you followed his path to his own bed. You have to wait until everyone is asleep or when people are too busy to care about what you're doing.
And finally you get an environment where everyone is quiet. You slowly get up from your bed and tiptoe towards Nam-gyu's bed. The lights in the middle of the room were gently hitting your face, making your presence known, but when you looked from afar, he didn't look awake. You slowly got up onto his bed and covered your mouth with one hand, pressing one knee to the edge of the bed and started to climb onto him without making a sound.
Nam-gyu threw his head to the side, mouth slightly open and he let his hair fall onto the pillow. You weren't quite sure what to do exactly, but your eyes wandered to his bare neck. You swallowed, slowly bringing your hand closer to his face. You held on tightly to avoid making a sound when his lips suddenly curled upwards and grabbed your wrist, covering your mouth. 'Cause of his grip, your face fell towards his chest, your knees touching his waist. When you try to lift your head you feel his hands holding the back of your hair, pulling your head tightly he forces you to look at him. His voice was a heavy whisper. "And what were you exactly planning to do, huh?" All you could see in the darkness was his toothy grin and his eyes that looked like they were going to eat you alive. You tried to say something with your muffled voice, but his grip almost covered your nose too. You placed your hand on the sheets to balance yourself, your neck was in a very uncomfortable position and Nam-gyu wasn’t about to release you.
Seeing your helpless state, Nam-gyu's smile widens, a small giggle is heard from him. He lets go of your wrist until he's in a sitting position on the bed, not taking his eyes off you as he sucks on his teeth. "What? Did you suddenly become so shy?" You forget that his hand is still over your mouth as you shake your head to the side, and he grunts as if he’s thinking as he silently watches the sounds you make against his hand. He uses his free hand to pat his lap, your eyes darting to the side to make sure no one is watching but he suddenly pulls you into his lap. "You were always this stubborn..You don't know how to obey when someone tells you to do something." He throws his head to the side and speaks hoarsely, watching your hands fall to your sides as he adjusts your position.
You could pretty much guess how this was going to end.
You remained silent for a while, waiting for him to pull his hand away. He slowly pulls his hand away, smirking with his eyes. You let out a warm breath as Nam-gyu pulls his hand away, he watches you swallow as he wipes his went hand over your clothes. "..I knew I shouldn't have come." "Is that so?" His hands slid down to your hips, his grip tightening with each second. "Yeah." It was clear from your voice how you felt about him. He pulled you closer to him as your hands followed his fingers. "You are so damn annoying." "So are you?" "At least I'm not a spoiled brat." He could tell by your face that you were nervous, but sitting on his lap was making your body warmer.
"I fucking hate you." You hissed at him, letting out a shaky breath. Moving might not be a good idea, you were making enough contact with the tent beneath you. "Our feelings are mutual." He presses you tighter against him, making a moan escape your lips. "But your body seems to love me." His eyes met yours for a second. His ego was way too high right now. "Still." His thumbs lift your cardigan up, revealing your bare skin. He stops at the hem of your sweatpants, dragging his nails over your skin. You feel yourself squirm under his touch, his hands stopping you as you find yourself lifting yourself up. "You always care about your own pleasure, bitch." He pushes you towards his legs, making his own position more comfortable. He opens his legs slightly, revealing the wet spot created by his tent. He taps his leg against you while gesturing with his eyes for you to take off your sweatpants. Before you could open your mouth to refuse, his hands grab your sides and lower them. You squeal at the sudden hit of cold air on your skin, he grabs your back and pulls you closer to him. "I'll be the only one enjoying this night, not you." You could see the precum on the tip of his cock as he used his leg to lift you up a little and lower his down.
Before you can prepare yourself, his hands are on your waist and he lifts you up, placing you on the tip of his cock. "Wait-" "Shush." "But-" "Fucking hell." His voice was loud enough to shut you up. You had already taken him in without even realizing it. As your hands reach out to grab him, he stops you by grabbing your wrists with one hand, keeping you in place with the other hand by holding your wrists in the air. You begin to feel your body shaking, his hand moving from your waist down to your belly as you resist moving yourself. You bite your lip as his thumb presses against your belly. You shouldn't make a sound. As you digs his nail more into your skin, you tilt your head down, causing your hair to fall out. A few purring moans escape your mouth as your hands tremble in the air. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, and it was obvious he was enjoying it. His eyes don't leave your body as a few breathless moans leaves his lips.
All he did was hold you in place as you cursed at him under your breath so you could move. "What, you didn't like your punishment?" When you heard the word punishment, your body involuntarily began to squeeze him even tighter. He whistled lowly and brought his face closer, feeling his breath next to your ear causing you to lift your head slightly.
"Your voice is so fucking annoying..god, wish I could make you lose your voice."
His voice was muffled and sounded like he was holding himself back. When he doesn’t get an answer from you, he throws your wrists aside and forces you to look at his face with his grip. "Cat got your tongue? Or are you embarrassed that the person you hate is fucking you?" "S-shut..up.." You want to speak to him through your teeth, but his grip prevents you from doing so. When you feel his hips start to move, you quickly bring both of your hands towards your mouth. You wouldn't want anyone to see this, do you? He releases his grip on you and moves one hand to the sheets next to him, so as not to lose his position. When he starts to move, tears start to flow from your eyes, and because you weren't prepared, the pain overwhelms the pleasure. You feel your body shaking as your face falls slightly towards his shoulder. You realize that your body is trying to follow his rhythm, even if it's unintentional. As his rhythm quickens, the sound of your skin hitting each other starts to get louder, and even though the feeling of embarrassment didn’t make your body any hotter, doing it with him made you angry at yourself.
Tears were now starting to flow down your cheeks, Nam-gyu noticing that his shoulder was starting to get wet, placed his hand behind your head again to pull your head up. "I'm not your boyfriend whose shoulder you can cry on anymore." You find yourself suffocating as you swallow, your eyes refusing to stay open and you’d have already lost your balance if it wasn't for his grip.
As the press continued to roll, his insults at you continued, about what a whore you were and how you didn’t even deserve his dick. "No one deserves your body, you fucking know that?" You couldn't decide if what he said was jealousy or anger, your only concern was not passing out. He didn't slow down at all, even though your face was covered in sweat and you couldn't fix your breath. You could feel him finishing inside you but he didn't seem to stop. His grip was moving down to your neck as you were trying to pull yourself together. "If I had lost my temper so easily, you wouldn't be here right now." Your eyes are tightly closed and your mouth is half open as you follow his rhythm while your legs try to support you. "T-that's enough..ah- didn't you finish already..?" "Not enough to satisfy myself." You swallowed hard after feeling another orgasm inside you, you tried to lift yourself up thinking he would stop, you opened your eyes slightly, trying to look at his face. He was biting the corner of his lip lightly while his hair was stuck to his face and cheeks. He paused for a moment and slightly opened the front of his cardigan. When he looked at you with that smirknon his face, you wanted to cry with anger.
"You're not going anywhere unless I'm fucking satisfied."
"..Fuck you."
"You'll have to save that for next time."
#why tumblr didn't add my tags at first wtf#player 124#nam gyu#squid game#nam-gyu#squid game 2#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#nam gyu x reader#imagines#squid game smut
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hello queen reign, lady of the land of angst, hope you are having a wonderful day.
what advice would you give a fic writer who is trying to grow their blog?
hello humble subject, I am not having a wonderful day because I've officially started school again. currently sat in a conflicts of law seminar someone spare me
as for advice, I have a couple
Aesthetics
Very important
The colours/theme/layout conveys who you are as a blog creator
Are you very feminine and sweet? Are you bold, confident and sassy?
It's a way for readers to know if they'll like you
Also they're just nice to look at
They're fun to do, so go crazy and enjoy the process
It's so so so important honestly
Speaking as a reader, I won't read work that doesn't look good aesthetically I'm so shallow like that
Not everyone is like me but enough people are to care about aesthetics
Also, if your work is long, then make sure you cut the page with the 'keep reading' thing (don't know what it's called)
As a reader, I hate hate hate seeing a long ass work that I have to scroll multiple times to get through
It's annoying and a bother
Don't be that person 😭
I think tho Tumblr inserts its own automatically if the work is too long but there have been numerous occasions it hasn't so just to be sure
Clean
This links to aesthetics
But the idea is in your layout, your summary, warnings and in your actual works, try to ensure your grammar and spelling is right to the best of your abilities
This is a problem all blog creators will face throughout their journey so small typos is fine of course, I make them all the time
But if your work is full of typos and they're in your face, that tells to the readers that you a) might not be a very good writer, b) you don't care and c) this will be hard to read
So take care to do due diligence
It's a pain but proofread your work where and when you can
What I do is I write at night, I go to sleep, and in the morning (with a fresh and clear mind/perspective) I go over my work and realise things just don't make sense
Don't just post as soon as you're done, you'll regret it
Come back to it later, even just hours later, because guaranteed there will be mistakes you'll want to fix before someone sees it
Establish yourself
Didn't know how to title this but if you're just beginning, do what most creators do and take requests
It's a great way to bring people over to your blog and engage with you and also show off your writing skills
Once you've shown hey I'm creative and a skilled writer, then people will engage with your works naturally
But if you can't or don't want to do so, then engage with the community, comment on other creators' works, reply to someone else's comments
Make yourself a familiar face
Advertise accurately
By that I mean, in your summaries, make sure you're clear and you're wrapping up your work in a way that sounds like something people would want to engage with
Bring them in, entice them
Tag correctly
If your work is angst and hurt/no comfort, don't tag it with fluff
If your work is smut, don't tag it with fluff
Some people get really worked up over it and I also think it's good practice because some people search for fluff specifically to avoid smut
Don't flash someone essentially
Accessibility
Make sure your navigation is up to date and easily understandable
Think includes your masterlist
Ensure you have one and you add to it as you go
If you care a lot about engagement as opposed to just birthing your works, then remember that Tumblr is an international platform, so use language that's not too complicated or 'pretentious'.
Don't use big words for the sake of sounding smart and poetic, the most important thing is to communicate and if you can do that with something just as impactful but simpler then do so
General advice
Have a navigation
It's important because that'll be the centre of your entire blog
It's where you'll put all your links
It summarises who you are and what you do
And apart from the bio, it's the first thing someone will see when they come on your blog
Have a faq and rules
Establish your rights
You want people to like you but that doesn't mean you have to suffer discomfort or abuse for the sake of it
Establish your boundaries and be firm
If you get a negative or hateful comment/message, there's NO OBLIGATION to reply to it
Run your blog like a dictatorship
If they don't like the way you do things, then they can fuck off
I got more hate when I was first starting out than I do now so I think trolls like to target smaller creators because they know these creators are too young and experienced to know that the things they say are not a reflection of you but rather of the haters
Most importantly
Enjoy yourself.
Write for fun and for yourself as opposed to writing out of obligation
People on here have a way of dehumanising you, they want you to push out content at their whim
Don't cave in
This is not a job, they are not your boss, they are not paying you
There's a lot of positivity but there's negativity here and there, so just be aware and stay strong
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R O U N D 1 ↳ 「 MY CLEMATIS 」
#alien stage#alnst#alnst mizi#alnst sua#mizisua#vivinos#I honestly don't know how else to tag this#is there an alnst edit tag???#idk I guess I'll leave it#*mine#*alnst#*gifs
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Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
———
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said– I was giving them an analogy.
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?
I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–
[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.
But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.
[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m–
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–
Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?
#Badboyhalo#BBH#Bad#QSMP#January 8 2025#Edited#I know folks are going to add their two cents on this subject in the tags / comments / replies (and as always you're welcome to do that)#But for the sake of my sanity please don't be an asshole to any of the CCs / ex-admins / fellow fans / anyone else. Thanks#Most folks here don't need a ''Don't be a dumbass'' reminder but I had to block someone for that earlier and it was a bit disappointing#This is going to be a Tumblr exclusive clip because I don't trust Twitter to have common sense or common decency about this topic#Tumblr exclusive#Anyways business aside – that black line on the side is just part of Bad's stream btw. He just Has That#Took too long for this to render otherwise I'd edit it out because it's annoying#I'm just realizing this screenshot doesn't even have Dapper OTL but it's the best one I have so I gotta work with what I got#Honestly; I still miss QSMP dearly... I love the core intent of the project and the multicultural exchange#I love all the language barriers that were broken and I loved all the stories that were told and watching beautiful friendships bloom#But I am still so angry and disappointed about how things ended and all the poor communication and the admin situation as a whole#It's a complicated feeling#I agree with pretty much everything Bad says here#It's ironic that he uses that analogy because I've said almost the exact same thing when explaining why losing any Egg was so devastating#We weren't just mourning for the characters. We were mourning for the admins too#I'll never forget that last stream with Tazercraft and Richas; and Pac ending stream in tears#I wish they'd done away with the Egg life system. I wish they'd done a lot of things differently#If the project ever does come back in some shape or form I hope they are more transparent about things and have better communication#I dunno how I'd feel personally. They would have to do a lot of work regaining people's trust#And frankly I don't think they'll ever regain that trust from a large portion of the community#I remember near the start of QSMP I saw a comment from a fan that simply said ''QSMP; please don't leave me feeling bitter''#I think about that comment a lot
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN#honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog#where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags#kyle dubas#toronto maple leafs#& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe#& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor#the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi#that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like#ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds#how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid#the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines#i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer#brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc#bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always#know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works#no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs#i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen#narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel#about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO#did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner#if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf#simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2#one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry#liv in the replies
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I find it so incredibly funny whenever fast food advertisement is just this
#Uhhh#a rare original post#Food#How in the world should I begin to tag this#fast food#I got inspired by an IHOP menu which made me think of all the other advertisements#I don't know what else I should tag honestly
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I remember reading a headcanon online that Pomni purrs and kneads like a cat when she's happy, so I was inspired to draw this 🤭
They’re both laying on grass btw
I think they deserve a little rest
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#pomni#ragatha#tadc headcanon#kneading the air like a dumb kitty#this can be seen as platonic or romantic#so it's ok to tag as ship :)#Also I think I'm improving at drawing these characters but I don't know how to feel about I draw everything else besides the heads ^^”#redraws are welcome bc honestly idk what I did here-#chocohedgie art
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"Willow is a bad character because she's a mary sue" me when I missed the entire point of the show
#scrolling her tag and going insane#side note there is apparent a toh cr1t tag#I will not look at it for annoying takes to make fun off (affirmations)#at least i won't tonight who knows what the future holds#anyway im obsessed bc they were like#'imagine if willow was just a fan character in fanfics you'd all think she was pretty cringe huh'#NUHUH IM NORMAL UR WATCHING THE CRINGE CULTURE TOWARDS HARMLESS THINGS IS STUPID SHOW#also jesus fucking christ do you honestly think that a disabled coded woman of color being a badass is somehow overdone#like the reason ppl criticized MS's in the first place is bc we rlly do not need another white abled girlypop to be the super magical#chosen one and never be in the wrong ever#disabled ppl and woc don't GET that fantasy#also her powers aren't disproportionate to the universe at all#yes she gained a lot of power in two months but she's spent the past several years repressing her very potent magic to mold herself to#other ppls expectations the whole fucking thing is a metaphor for how disabled ppl who now have accomodations/can live their life on their#own terms do much better much faster than people give them credit for#and once again she's really powerful yes but she was for example nothing compared to Darius#she doesn't take on a coven head (though a battle between her and Terra would have been super interesting) and win and she can take care of#1-2 coven scouts on her own but needs support and help from others#if there are more of them#ALSO EVERYONE ELSE GETS MORE POWERFUL ALSO#why isn't Amity a mary sue for going from only making small abominations and needing a training wand to being like the 3rd strongest#abomination magic user? bc shes white?#their main complaint seemed to be that willow demasculated hunter tho#so like#lmao cope. seethe.
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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was just making my morning cup of tea when my brain inexplicably dished up a long forgotten memory of what must be the most poorly thought out and cartoonishly offensive reality show ever produced (yes, even worse than milf island manor or whatever it’s called) and i had to google it to make sure it was actually real because frankly it seems like it should only be a wildly problematic fever dream.
but no, it was real.
it was called black. white. and it followed two real american families™ supposedly "swapping races" using hyper-realistic "makeup effects" and then going off to interact with society looking like rdj in tropic thunder and the wayans brothers in white chicks in order to "understand" racism and privilege (i mean presumably that was the point but yikes)
and this was not a show made in the 80's when you might expect some coked up executive to have thought it was a good idea, either. it was in fact made in 2006. and wikipedia is telling me that ice cube was one of the producers??
genuinely what were they thinking with this mess??????
#i don't even know how to tag this post honestly#the show was clearly trying to start some kind of dialogue *about* racism and privilege#but it somehow found the most racist way possible to do that#like the one episode i saw part of had the white teenage girl#in full blackface#like i cannot stress enough that she was in full blackface#going to a (predominantly black) slam poetry event#where she wanted to come clean about her true identity because she felt gross about lying#which really makes me wonder how much of a say she (or the teenage son of the black family) actually had in taking part#anyway i'll tag#racism#no idea what else to file this under 😬😬😬#also turning off reblogs because i’m sure it would take like a day for them to get out of hand#this post is really just me doing my best rod serling ‘’isn’t that fucked up?’’ impression
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IMAGES OF CHIYOKO HISAKAWA : 1 of ???
once gaining steady income as a mangaka, chiyoko seriously contemplates a more elaborate tattoo; rather than the cute little images she's imagined here and there, she wants something truly stunning to look at. the idea strikes her one morning after managing to spill paint all over her favorite pair of shorts, a deep green running over the blue material and down her calves. wouldn't it be pretty to paint her skin much like a canvas? chiyo eventually settled on a design that looks similar to watercolor, and though the visuals above lack much color, chiyo's tattoos are deep blues, purples, and reds that fade into each other, similar to what you see in these images here ( nudity warning, though nothing explicit ). the shading would most resemble the bottom right image, filling empty space with shadow or colored gradient. her tattoo curls along her right arm, across her chest, and down the left side of her waist, hip, and leg ( as depicted in the bottom left image ). getting to this point has, of course, taken quite a bit of time, especially as chiyo had to grow comfortable enough with her tattoo artist to allow them near parts of her body that are typically concealed. the whole thing has cost her a lot of money and tears, but she's pretty proud of the art she and her tattooist created. she plans to keep adding to it in the future.
#i love how i always think i won't have much to say and then i proceed to talk a ton asdfg#btw chiyo is now too powerful i was already weak to her but now i'm a goner i'm done for and i don't wanna be saved#ASDFG#and honestly the idea of her always wearing hoodies and tshirts that kinda cover it up vs when she wears tank tops#or dresses that reveal it........ smooching her rn#headcanons | chiyoko#visuals | chiyoko#btw i'm now so tempted to really rip the bandaid off and embrace the shorthaired blonde fc#kinda makes sense too bc in her 'adulthood' verse she's in a emotional and social slump she's falling backwards#and chiyo attempting to change herself outwardly in hopes of fostering some inner change too? yeah#but also seeing chiyo now vs when she was younger and thinking she's drastically changed and yes a lil but also#she's found herself back at square one my guy#I DUNNO I GOT A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND I'M JUST!! I LOVE HER :' )))#tw body image#is that the correct tag? y'all let me know if i need to be tagging something else bc i'm not sure
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Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'
#oc f/o#f/o art#fictional other#self shipping#self insert#oc#original character#they're patient with me#also I finally draw Hadri with a different form!#I want to do more with their shape shifting but I haven't made much that turns out well#small vent in tags upcoming if you don't want to read#Feeling bad about posting but I shouldn't just give up#In some way social media isn't for me because I take things too personally#but if I'm going to meet people I have some common ground with I don't know where else I'd look#common ground with something that means something to me#I want to meet people that don't suck to talk to#And actively have things they want to talk to me about that we're both interested in#Tired of being just ears.#I'm talking about my family here not anyone on the site btw#I just wish there were people who wanted to talk in the same way I want to talk#same level of energy I guess#Sorry to vent in silly drawings but it is what it is#Fun fact if you read this far...Hadri would like Evangelion#I don't know why that came to mind today but it makes total sense#They're a deity-like person so religion is interesting and they'd be drawn in by the drama#I honestly don't know how they'd examine media since their setting is basically medieval so Hadri's never really watched anything#Maybe a play?#I'd be nice to know what Hadri would think of things I like#But my tastes are very colorful... watched Ind/go Park for example and have it stuck in my head now#Popp/ playtime and Ind/go Park seem to both be going for fnaf Portal and I am feeling something
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but some things that are acephobic:
Telling an ace person details about sex/your sex life after they made it clear they're uncomfortable with it
Insist that the ace person is missing out by not engaging in sex
Tell an ace person that they won't know until they try it
So please stop it
Sincerely, a tired and traumatized ace
#cw acephobia#cw aphobia#I feel like these might just seem like little micro aggressions but after a certain point it becomes macroaggressions#And this honestly applies to aros as well with romance and.. honestly everyone else about anything. It's rude af#And I do know who needs to hear this but I blocked them. There was a strong chance that they'd double down and insist theyre just having fun#And yes this is about Him because of course it is#Fandom is aphobic unfortunately#Or just ignorant at best#I'm not sure how to tag this#Don't really want to tag the fandom#nillisaie talks#psa
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vent under the cut you don't need to read if you don't want to!!!!!!!
I honestly hateee opening up or oversharing with ppl. it's kind of like eating for me where it feels okay in the moment but then afterwards I just feel awful. it feels like I'm attention seeking or saying someone else's experience isn't valid for some reason and it sucks. I don't do it at all with ppl I just met but with friends I tend to get carried away with it sometimes,,,
It hurts even more because I've been distancing myself from ppl bcz I'm scared of this exact thing happening. People have messaged me before, saying I seem cool and they want to be friends. And I get happy in the moment, but then I get really anxious about accidentally getting too comfortable and blurting out personal things, because then their opinion of me will wane and they'll think I'm annoying or ungrateful. So I subconsciously begin to distance myself and take a while when responding to messages, because I'm scared of getting too comfortable with them. But now I'm anxious that they think I'm cold or distant and that I secretly don't like them. It's just a lose lose situation mannn </3
I have so many DMs I've put off responding to, and I've stopped talking in servers as much bcz I'm scared of getting close with ppl in them. I really feel bad for it, though. I've drifted from friends bcz of that and it sucks because I genuinely love them a lot. I love everyone I talk to a lot and they always make my day better--I just wish I could be the same for them. I feel like it's a chore to talk to me. I honestly don't know what to do. It's even worse when I get close to someone bcz they like what I make/post because again, now that they've seen how I really am and I've opened up, they more than likely see me as annoying or a bad person. Like it hurts enough whenever we become friends naturally talking, but if it's with someone who's seen me at my "best" and has seen things I work on or stories I've created, they ofc associate me with those things, and their expectations of me are through the roof. So when I disappoint them it hurts a lot more. I hate getting attached to people it hurts so much
#vent#it's okay tho.I think a hug would fix me. I want a hug so bad :(#probably delete later#tag ramblings below#AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH LIKE SO MUCH so it's even harder. like I feel like I don't deserve them#y'all deserve better than me#I WISH I COULD ADOPT THE IDGAF ATTITUDE#truly the best feeling in the world--realizing you don't care anymore#and idk how someone could possibly like me for things I created--it's not even like I write well or sing well#I honestly don't understand how ppl could see anything I've made or sung and genuinely like it#so whenever someone DOES I'm just like hasbdhabsn yay!!!!!!! and then I ruin it w my awful personality </3#it's also why I take down a lot of ao3 works#like I've made 50 something works but it only shows two because I've taken so many down or made them anonymous--I hate my work so much#but ppl like it enough to actively want to get to know me and it hurts bcz I feel like they're not THAT good#same thing with singing like I'm not good at it at all#but ppl used to rlly like my impressions of characters and I'd get cast in quite a bit of cover groups and I just don't understand.why???#but ofc I can't ask that bcz.idk it just feels attention seeking when I do that#like can you praise me a whole bunch so I don't feel like it's not totally awful please?#I appreciate the support I get so so much and it's not that it's not enough it's just my brain is mean </3#idek what this vent is abt#I think ultimately it's just abt my fear of disappointing ppl#I'm close with a few ppl who know me bcz of things I made--and I feel like I kinda ruined their impression of me a little (a lot)#especially bcz I didn't always used to vent this much. like back when I was 12-15 I literally refused to vent no matter how bad it got#and I had friends who vented every single day so it's not like I'd be the only one#I just feel like it's wrong when it's me :'D I feel like my feelings aren't valid ig and I'm ungrateful bcz my life rlly isn't that bad#I only started venting a lot this year for some reason--and it makes me feel bad bcz now my current friends have to deal with me like that#like I have a diary I write in and it works sometimes but ultimately it's better for someone else to give you validation#I hate venting so much though#(<- literally venting rn BAHSDBAS)#I'M SORRY if I've been venting too much. I feel like I've been venting too much.guys am sorry if this is annoying I promise I'm workin on i
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So crazy how I can go from having a great day to all of a sudden remembering an upsetting dream I had last night and it just. Instantly ruins my mood </3
#negative#wtf I was doing so good why now of all times :[#had an upsetting dream about stumbling upon a bunch of ship art of Zooble with other characters and in the dream my phone froze on it#and I couldn't turn it off or exit the app or anything#so like. instead of being upset then my brain decided to make me forget about it until just now for some reason#wow cool thanks brain 👍 (HEAVY sarcasm btw)#I've been like Super paranoid about coming across ship art today and didn't know why until now#gonna be completely honest with how stressed I've already been combined eith this right now#if I see them shipped eith anyone else I may start spiraling#dw though I've been trying my best to avoid scrolling through anything for too long#I'm not looking in any tags where I could come across it#I'm blocking anyone I come across in my recommendations who doesn't tag their ship art properly#I've basically been doing my own thing for the most part today#I'm tryinf to do Anything to dostract myself so I don't 5hink about it too long#I'm trying to work on another drawing#drawing is honestly the knly thing that helps me calm down when I'm feeling any kind of negatice emotions lol#so sorry to ramble like this#I've already had to bottle up so much the past week or so so i need to get at least one thing off my chest
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