#I highly recommend listening to it while reading the lyrics + meaning of the songs

[rebel-ezra]

my favorite lyrics of unreal unearth by hozier

first time // francesca // I, carrion (Icarian) // damage gets done // who we are // all things end // to someone from a warm climate (uiscefhuarithe) // anything but // abstract (psychopomp) // unknown/nth

listen to unreal unearth

[centralperkspoison]

I Can See You - G. Way

PAIRING: Gerard Way x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: sexual references, a little fluffy.

SUMMARY: You and Gerard have known each other for years. When you finally confess to him, everything works out! But how do you keep it as a secret? (Based loosely on I Can See You by Taylor Swift)

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

OTHERS: me posting? whattttt?! this was highly inspired by the song I Can See You by Taylor Swift, so I recommend listening to that while you read. Also, I haven't posted a fic in like a year this is crazy. also!!! not my usual work, not that much fluff just more back story. idk i have wrote in a while so im sorry!

---

YOU KEPT EVERYTHING PROFESSIONAL. You and him only showed your true emotions behind closed doors. You'd brush past each other in the hallways most of the time ensuring to not let anyone catch on.

Of course, you and Gerard were friends to the public eye. You and him were the two lead singers of My Chemical Romance, but what happened behind closed doors stayed there.

You'd moved next door to the Way family when you were fairly young, quickly becoming friends with the two brothers despite the slight age differences; Mikey was three years older than you and Gerard was six years older, which is why in the beginning everything had to be quiet. But of course, you had kept your feelings for the nerdy older brother hidden since you were six, so that wouldn't be too hard.

When the band began recording for Bullets you had just turned eighteen and Gerard was almost twenty-five, which is when it first started.

-

"Why don't I understand basic song structure," You groaned. "You clearly have it down."

Gerard scoffed, "I do not have it down whatsoever, I just actually ask for input unlike someone who's stubborn as hell." He laughed. 

It was only the two of you on the bus, the rest of the guys were inside a restaurant buying breakfast while before you traveled four hours to only record half the album for Bullets.

"Here, bring it over so I can look at it." He said, sitting up on the couch on the bus. You slowly walked towards him, hoping he wouldn't realize who it was about. You silently hoped he couldn't tell, then sat next to him and handed him the lyrics you had written so far. He began analyzing them and handed them back to you.

"It's good, but the bridge should have more meaning. You've described this person in such a beautiful light, then the bridge is just happily ever after? Include some of the struggle in the relationship." You nod, beginning to write. He watches you closely from over your shoulder causing you to face the other way and lay down on him so he could get a better view. This was nothing unusual for you two, it was normal for you to lay on him or anyone else in the band.

You took his words into consideration, then started writing lyrics along the lines of 'If only he knew,' and 'I could see you being my addiction, you could see me as a secret mission.' along with some more context.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" He called, you could feel his heart speed up from your spot on his chest. "Yes, Gee?" You say, looking up at him. "Who is this about?" He asked quietly, playing with your long hair. You dropped your pencil and sat up, facing him. "Is that really important right now?" "I mean not really, I'm just a bit curious." He says with a slight smirk across his face. You just shrug and walk to where you were sitting previously to the whole song structure conversation. Once you sit down, he began speaking again.

"I mean of course the description sounds a little similar, short black hair, hazel eyes, crooked smile," He says, walking behind your chair and gripping it and looking down at you from over the back of the tall chair. "I would say Frank, but his hair doesn't exactly fall under that category anymore, and when you think about it, I'm the only one with short black hair now." He smirks. He already knew, but he was just trying to play around and have a little fun before he had to make his own scary confession.

"God, okay Gerard, the song is about you." You roll your eyes trying to make it come out as if you're not afraid to say it. "Wait, you're actually admitting it?" "Yes, I have a big fat crush on you, now can you please just turn me down already so I can get over it sooner." You sigh, and he walks around your chair so you two are facing each other now. 

"(Y/N), I'm not rejecting you," He smiles. "C'mere." He says, opening his arms for a hug, and you quickly throw yourself in his arms. You two linger in the hug for a while before you take a step back and look up at him. You two were so close your noses were touching. 

"May I?" He asks, moving his hand up so he's cupping your jaw. You lean into his touch and nod.

-

After you two established your feelings, your situationship turned into a relationship that ranged from sweet moments to insanely sexual ones, not that you had a problem with that, of course. It was just difficult keeping it from your best friends.

Eventually, fans began sniffing the two of you out. How you would always sit next to each other in interviews, when you were on stage you would always seem as if you were singing to him and he was singing to you, when they watched Life On The Murder Scene every time there was a video on the bus you'd have your legs sprawled out on top of his or you'd be laying on him, and even away from the bus he'd always send you looks.

You started seeing the fans reactions on Twitter in the two of your comment sections.

(Y/N)(Y/L/N): Day off with my boys! <3

mcrlover616: OMG R U AND GERARD DATING

frerard4li4e: Gerard belongs to Frank, girl. Back off.

bugmomma24356: You and Gerard are so cute ug! <3

After trying to cover up everything to the best of your abilities, nothing made them believe you, even your own band mates started thinking the two of you were together, so you two had to act more distant. 

No more laying on him, no more lingering hugs, and definitely no more making out on stage just to "make the crowd go wild". 

-

The two of you had to be entirely secret for almost a year now, and it was the first night of your new tour, Rise Against the Black Parade. 

Gerard brushes his shoulder against yours in the hallway while you two walk into the dressing room, shooting you a look. "Oh sorry, (Y/N)." He says quietly and slides his arm across your back before sitting two seats away from you in the dressing room. 

Makeup took a while, but you and Gerard were the last to finish. Once your artists left the room he sprung up to lock the door, and quickly met you in the middle of the room. 

He rested his hands on your hips and you hand your arms on the back of his neck, while he pressed his lips to yours aggressively. You parted from him for a moment, "Now don't go messing up our makeup," You smirked. "We can fix it ourselves." He grunts, picking you up and placing you on the counter.

The two of you were in there for a total of five minutes before someone started knocking on the dressing room door, causing you to jump like two teenagers caught by parents. "Hello? Who's in there, we need to change!" You hear Frank say from the other side of the door. The two of you quickly check your makeup to make sure it wasn't messed up, then you walked to the door to unlock it before turning to Gerard.

"You know, if stopped hiding... it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." You said and he began to shake his head. "The age difference, (Y/N)." "It's six years, Gee. At least it's not like twenty or thirty like some other couples." You say, causing him to shrug. "I guess it's not the worst thing in the world." 

You walk over and unlock the door allowing Frank to come in with the costume cart. Once he realized it was the two of you he gasped. "You?" He said pointing to Gerard, "And you?" He said pointing to you. You turn to Gerard and tilt your head. "Yeah yeah, big deal." He said walking over to wrap an arm around your waist.  That night was one of your best shows yet. You two started showing affection on stage once again, you put your emotion back into your lyrics, and you even got a chance to preform the song you wrote for Gerard that started the whole relationship.

[goddessofmischief]

      SAY DON'T GO (YOUNG BUGGY X READER)

A/N: This is part of this series, which requests are open for! These fics are all one-shots, so they can be read separately. Also, I highly recommend listening to the song linked in the title while you read. (Especially with this one. It really, really fits it. Maybe even read the lyrics. It's really Buggy's POV in this fic.)

The first nights alone on the Oro Jackson were quiet.

You weren't alone, not really. You had Buggy and Shanks with you, after all, but it was strange hearing the place you grew up be silent for the very first time. The soft snores of your friends were nothing compared to the riotous laughter you had fallen asleep to every night for the past decade.

You were all orphans now.

"Shanks," you whispered, tapping him on the arm. You didn't dare wake up Buggy.

"Hm?" he hummed sleepily.

"Can't sleep."

"Me neither," he said, despite the fact that he was very obviously asleep mere moments ago.

Things felt different. Different than days before. You didn't feel like the woman who had been abandoned by - then reconciled with - Dracule Mihawk, or the woman who had stood and witnessed Roger's execution only one day earlier. You felt like a girl again, now that it was just you and Shanks and Buggy. Just the three of you, against the world, a world that did not seem quite so dim and empty as it had been these past few months.

And so you and Shanks (and Buggy, once he woke up to the commotion) "can't sleep"-ed together, laughing and talking and acting like everything would be fine, like you were a proper crew, like you were all you needed, like you and Shanks had never shared that poisoned kiss.

...

The mornings after that were not quite as bright.

It turned out that if you wanted to be a pirate crew, a real pirate crew, you needed some things. Other crew mates - those would come later, Shanks reasoned - and supplies, plenty of them. So you docked the ship at a nearby port, far from Marine influence, and began shopping.

"You know, I've been thinking," said Shanks, taking a bite out of an apple, "Maybe we should change our flag - our Jolly Roger?"

"Roger's flag? No way."

"C'mon, think about it. It's our ship now."

"Who would we even change it to? I mean, I wouldn't mind letting you be captain - in name only - but Buggy won't like it."

"Buggy will get used to it."

"What, and he'll be first mate? Who am I, then?"

"I don't know, I'm sure we'll come up with something-"

You smacked his arm.

"You're such a jerk."

"Such a jerk, 'Captain.'"

...

Buggy had dreamt of you last night.

How things were different now, maybe, for the first time. How maybe things could really change.

Mihawk had abandoned you (bummer) and you and Shanks seemed to have a strange distance between you since the wedding that Buggy couldn't understand. You would need someone, he was sure of it, and he would be there.

"Hey, guys," Buggy called out, carrying a bag of groceries in one hand and climbing aboard the Oro Jackson. A single daisy was concealed in his pocket. "Got everything?"

"Yeah, um," you said, and you couldn't look at Buggy.

"...What? What's going on?"

You looked up at Shanks, pleadingly.

"Don't make me say it."

"He'll take it better from you," said Shanks, and Buggy detected a hint of a smirk on his face. Weariness, too.

"Shanks wants to be captain," you mumbled, staring at the deck.

Buggy laughed.

"Kidding, right? You're... kidding." He saw the look on your face. "You're not kidding. Well, you told him, no, right? You told him no."

"She agreed to it," Shanks said. "She didn't mind. But she wasn't sure how you would take it."

"Why would you agree to that?" Buggy shouted, louder than he meant to, and you flinched. "Look at me. Why would you-"

"I'm sorry," you whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek. "I thought it was the right thing."

"Why isn't it me, huh? Why not me? What's the difference? There's nothing Shanks has done that I couldn't do."

"I trust him," you confessed. "I trust him to lead-"

"Yeah? Why not me?"

"Buggy-"

"Answer the question," Buggy snapped. "Why not me?"

"That's enough," said Shanks. "That's enough."

Shanks, he noticed, had put his arm around your shoulders protectively - as if you needed to be protected. As if you needed to be protected, from him.

"I'm leaving," Buggy said, and turned to grab his things.

He really meant it, too - he meant it, as he went downstairs and collected his clothes and weapons and souvenirs of the life he'd been living for the past twenty years. He almost grabbed a sweater of his you often liked to borrow, but left it.

He'd been so stupid to believe that anything could change. That he'd finally be like Shanks, an equal. He would never be as good as Shanks. He would always be second in your heart to him - third, depending on what your opinion of Mihawk was at the time.

Somehow, he'd always known.

It didn't matter if this crew, this boat, was the best chance he had at getting the One Piece. He would get it anyway, and when he did, he was going to have a good laugh at the look on you and Shanks' faces. But then again, you probably didn't care if you died peasants, as long as you had each other, and you'd probably be thrilled to be rid of him-

"...Buggy?"

He heard a creak and turned to see you holding the sweater.

"You forgot something," you said quietly, holding it out to him. Buggy shook his head.

"It's worn out. It's all... stretched, and you got stains on it, and there's too many holes. It's beyond repair."

All lies. You were particularly careful with this sweater, because it wasn't just your favorite - you knew it was Buggy's favorite, too.

You frowned, staring down at it and searching for a tear.

"You can throw it out, for all I care," and Buggy slammed the lid of his suitcase down.

"It's really warm," you said, "...And I don't want to."

You pulled it over your head, sleeves hanging far past where your arms could stretch. Buggy watched you, unable to look away.

He had forgotten how cute you could be when you weren't stabbing him in the back.

"Why'd you come down?" he asked, fixing a resentful expression on his face. "Figured you'd be celebrating with Shanks right now."

"I'm not gonna let you leave, Bug. You really are crazy if you thought I would."

"What's the point in me staying? You as good as said it back there, there's nothing I do that Shanks doesn't do better-"

"And how do you think I feel?" you snapped. "You think it felt good, watching him be stronger my whole life? Knowing that no matter what I did, Roger was never gonna respect me more than him? Did you even think about the fact that when I let Shanks be captain, I took it away from myself, too?"

Truthfully, Buggy had never thought to consider it.

"Do you know why I put up with it?"

"Tell me."

"Because he goddamn deserves it," you stated. "He deserves every bit of respect he gets. He's nearly the best swordsman because he trained to be, he's a fighter because he fought to be, and he's never once faltered when I needed him. He's a leader, and that's not who we are. So you can walk away from me and him and the One Piece, and be a big baby, but there's a reason why I chose him over myself. Do you not think I'm capable, Buggy? Do you not think I'm good enough?"

"You're good enough."

"I know I am. But you didn't see me throwing a fit on the deck. Making him captain doesn't mean that I think Shanks is better than you, because I don't think he's better than me, either. We all have jobs."

"Yeah? What's yours?"

"Doctor," you said. "And sniper, and cook, for now."

"And what about me?" Buggy asked, leaning against the wall and fixing his gaze on you. "If I stayed, what would you have me do?"

"I'd let you be first mate. And shipwright. And blacksmith. You're talented with making things."

"I didn't think you'd noticed."

"Of course I have," you said. "I'm wearing something you made right now."

It's true, you were. Buggy had gotten into knitting a long time ago, during lazy days on the Oro Jackson in his youth, and had decided to make a sweater for you after seeing how cold you got. He'd lost his nerve in the middle of the project and begun making it in his size instead of yours after fearing you wouldn't want it, but it ended up in your hands anyway.

You approached Buggy, tentatively, the long sleeves of the sweater draping off your wrists. He eyed you as you stared up at him, pleadingly, and then threw your arms around him as if you trap him, and could make him stay there forever.

"Please stay," you whispered, voice muffled by his shoulder.

Buggy smirked, holding you.

"I didn't think you would beg, doll."

"...Only for you."

Maybe he would stay a little longer.

taglist: @sawendel @twinklesnake @literaturewithliz @sordidmusings @foggyturtleknightangel @toertchen @96jnie @lunanight1021 @trafalgardvivi

[unanswered-stars]

Azris Day 2: Familiars - Our Hearts Collide

Read here on AO3

This is the song that was composed and performed by Matthan for Eris and Azriel’s first dance during their mating ceremony. He shared the lyrics privately with Eris and Azriel prior to the ceremony and only played the instrumental version on his violin for their dance as his ability to speak and sing was lost in an incident with Beron.

Glimpse of Us by Joji covered by Nasif Francis is what this was written to and I highly recommend listening while reading.

Spotify

YouTube

Matthan: Greek origins meaning ‘gift’ or ‘hope’

He is a character I have built for the sixth Vanserra brother. Named by Eris at birth, Matthan is a kind and gentle soul, who looks up to Eris more than anyone though that was not always the case. His singing voice was described as ethereal/angelic until he lost that ability (think Libera boys choir). He knew how to play the violin prior to the incident but afterwards the violin became an integral part of him and it is rare to see him without it.

I am in the middle of outlining backstories for each member of the Vanserra family for a larger Azris fic in the future but I really wanted the characters to have more depth before diving straight into Azris. All the Vanserra brothers are special to me but Matthan in particular is precious to me. I have written an outline that has much more about his character but I don't want to spoil a sweet little one shot backstory that I have planned for him.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

He’d burn the whole world to ashes

If meant that I could live

He’d transform into the shadows

Till there’s nothing left to give

The whole world is constantly changing

It’s pulling us apart at the seams

Promises of our forever

Only in dreams

So for all of time

You and I

Hand in hand together we’ll stand

Against them all our hearts collide

Shadows twine and reach for your touch

The flames burning bright for both of us

Now we’re here I’m not leaving now

Please pull me close with your lips over mine

Our arms entwined

Our hearts collide

The pain and the anguish that made us

It could have torn us into two.

That was end to our story

Before it ever could begin.

But instead we chose each other

Laying our masks to the side

The future truly meant nothing

Without your hand in mine

So for all of time

You and I

Hand in hand together we’ll stand

Against them all our hearts collide

Shadows twine and reach for your touch

The flames burning bright for both of us

Now we’re here I’m not leaving now

Please pull me close with your lips over mine

Our arms entwined

Our hearts collide

Ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh, ooh-ooh

Hand in hand together we’ll stand

Against them all our hearts collide

Shadows twine and reach for your touch

The flames burning bright for both of us

Now we’re here I’m not leaving now

Please pull me close with your lips over mine

Our arms entwined

Our hearts collide

Sing a little ditty if you want on or off the tag train

@chunkypossum @futurehunt @fieldofdaisiies @hieragalbatorixdottir @the-darkestminds @azrisweek

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

3 things:

What's a song, band, album, or playlist you want to shout out?

What are your opinions on pets (dog, cat, neither, other)?

Finally, what's a boring fact about you?

Cheers, have a good one.

Oh yes!

Shoutout a band? SEEMING, SEEMING, SEEMING BABY! They're even on tumblr: @seemingmusic

Their music is great and the lyrics are freaking phenomenal poems and I have no idea why they're not among tumblr's favorites like? "The future will be borderless, and red and queer and bold, for I was born to make my kind extinct" (End Studies) "Dreamt of gutting billionaires... But when I woke, blood was gone" (Go Small) you've got the eat the rich be queer do crime philosophy all over it! "Like a tall tree, I am pining to be taken up by the lightning! Strike me! I dare you! I dare you! Heaven, hear me! Like a mantis, I am praying, out of habit, without saying anything, for the bloody sting of a kestrel come to snatch me" (Remember to Breathe) it's got puns it's got self destructive thoughts it's got vague religious implications which I'm not a fan of personally but you guys seem to love it when it's Hozier. And who can ignore "To the gunmen who guard against all of the starving: God will bury you, nature will bury you [...] To the terrified rich man: God will bury you. To the killers of animals: nature will bury you." (The Burial) like don't tell me that doesn't go hard. (Personally I like to think of The Burial as not a threat but a loving promise. It continues "To the worshipper of justice, the reliance on reason, and the fire in your eyes: God will bury you, nature will bury you, time will bury your bones unseen. Total and absolute. Infinite amplitude. Till all the black is ripe and green." and because honoring the dead and burying them is an important act of kindness, I like to think of this as a promise that no matter who you are, no matter who you leave behind to mourn you, you will be buried. You will die and you will return to the Earth and you will be lovingly welcomed, it is inevitable and inescapable, I promise. I know I already rambled about this when I reblogged that worm poem post but I will keep talking about it because I love it and I don't know how many people actually read it.) There's so much more I want to say but I'm on mobile in bed hours past bedtime and this paragraph is probably already way too long and disorganized so like maybe tomorrow but! Regardless of whether you can listen to the music I highly recommend reading some of the lyrics here: https://seemingmusic.tumblr.com/text

Anyway moving on from minor infodump, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by your second question like are you asking my opinion on pets as a concept or my preferences for having pets or? I think humans love to pack bond with things that are not humans and as long as the human is able to meet the needs of an animal to create a mutually beneficial relationship that's a good thing, but ideally you should opt for domesticated animals (animals that have been our companions for so long they are genetically distinct from their wild counterparts) since they are best adapted to living with humans. I was practically raised by cats living with my workaholic single mom and our cats so personally I love cats and probably have a better time connecting with them than I would other common pets like dogs. Currently mom and I are sharing two cats, brothers, but one rarely visits me while the other is obsessed with me but I suspect this is because a) I always have his favorite snack available (potato chips. yeah I don't think he knows he's a cat) and b) I pet him the way he likes best (which is a lot of rubbing and scratching his spine by the tail intermittent with chin scritches, but he wants you to be firm with it as though he were a dog... again this man is not aware he's a cat).

A boring fact about me... Well easy mode is just "I have two feet" or "I ate a sandwich for breakfast today" but let me try to think of something a bit more personal yet still uninteresting... I have watched less than one episode of Supernatural. Yeah that's boring yet specific.

Thank you so much for the ask sorry my reply is a little messy I was already in bed when I got this!

[possum-quesadilla]

The last chapter of Time is a Flat Circle is up! So sorry in advance. (No I’m not.) Be sure to read the trigger warnings and tread carefully! This one is a doozy!

Here are the details for this specific chapter! Time is a Flat Circle as a whole will have a “post mortem” itself before Part 2 comes out. If you have any questions you’d like answered, send them my way!

- The lyrics from this chapter’s title is from “This Woman’s Work” by Kate Bush! Heavily inspired by a scene using a song in “Our Flag Means Death”, I listened to this song endlessly while writing this chapter. I believe it fits it so well for obvious reasons.

- “His senses weren’t overly reactive, recently. It was easier to spend more time outside, or among the humans’ excited chatter. It was nice. It made them feel… not peace, but a lack of unease.” - he is experiencing overstimulation less and less due to the humans helping him have access to accommodations!

- “(where the hell even was “Miskatonic University”?)” - This is a reference to H.P. Lovecraft’s work, since it inspired Beetlejuice’s last name, but also more to the movie “Re-Animator”! It kicks a lot of ass if you can stomach it. Check the trigger warnings before watching. Highly regarded in the trans autistic community.

- Beej’s favorite pizza toppings being pepperoni and mushrooms is a reference to That Beautiful Sound!

- “one of the “fidgets” she was particularly fond of; a singular key of a keyboard.” - This is based on my favorite fidget!

- “Can you even blush?” - He can!

- “ the gaudy floral wallpaper.” … “the tackily patterned yellow wallpaper. (How repellent. How dull.)” - The appearance of the wallpaper and the way Beetlejuice describes it is taken straight from one of my absolute favorite horror short stories, “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman!

- “I promised I’d get you all out of this, and ‘m a… thing of my word.” - Taken straight from my own vernacular. I’m not a man or a woman of my word, so I say “thing” as a joke!

- “Hot damn!” - this is a reference to one of my favorite “Brooklyn-99” cold opens.

- The TV show Barbara and Lydia start while the boys are busy with the model is “The Fall of the House of Usher”, which is one of my absolute favorite shows ever. It is an amalgamation of Edgar Allen Poe’s stories! Lydia would go nuts, I think.

- As Adam states, Beetlejuice has very sensitive eyes! They’re built for darkness, so they don’t know how to handle an abundance of light properly. Also, the sensory nightmare of ‘sun in your eyes’ sucks.

- “Gardening with Barbara was like a short dream conjured up from a summer afternoon nap.” - Although altered, this comparison is taken straight from my absolute favorite story Stephen King has ever written: “Laurie”. It is phenomenal. Highly recommend you listen to MrCreepyPasta’s reading of it.

- The soup Beetlejuice helped make was loaded potato soup! One of my favorites.

- “It should be a comfort, shouldn’t it? No one else got a chance like this, to have the precious moments mapped out, to have their time left set in stone.” - This is taken straight from my own thoughts. As someone with many chronic illnesses and a projected shortened lifespan, this is something I often tell myself.

- “after he’d wrapped her up in blankets and tossed her onto her bed.” - Fun sibling activities! My older brother used to love to wrap me up tightly and toss me across the room onto my bed. I also loved it.

- “I don’t keep anything strong on me after Adam freaked out about my flask.” - My version of Adam has trauma related to alcoholism/substance abuse. Beej took his concerns seriously and stashed away most of his ’goods’.

- “ “There is no… other side for me.” He gently squeezed her hand. “This is it.” ” - This is, of course, one of the hardest lines ever written, from “BoJack Horseman”. Made me bawl my eyes out when I first heard it, and I bawled again writing it into my fic.

- The various smells!

- Black tea and perfume - this has already been addressed! Beetlejuice mentioned how Barbara smells like iced tea and perfume a few times before.

- Isopropyl alcohol and tung oil - aftershave and woodworking materials!

- Vinegar-y chemicals and formaldehyde - Lydia has traces of photo-treatment chemicals on her. And she likes taxidermy things.

- Beetlejuice’s reaction to being called sweet is a direct mirror of my own. I have no idea how to respond to being called kind and such and act all grumpy.

- On the “diagnosed” conversation - everyone but Beetlejuice knows that that’s about. Lydia has been diagnosed with a few things as well! Perhaps we will get into it in Part 2?

- “The evening passed at the speed of a dream. Dinner, dishes, laughter. Pajamas, blankets, rounds of Clue and tossed game pieces.” - This is meant to parody General Gibson’s speech in “Asteroid City”. Specifically when he says, “twenty years passed at the speed of a dream. A wife, a son, a daughter, a poodle.” This movie literally altered my brain chemistry, no hyperbole. It will be referenced again.

- “Eric is returning to his grave.” - This is meant to be foreshadowing for Beej’s plan!

- “Lydia suggested they watch “The Exorcist”. Despite the Maitlands being terrified of the film, they stuck around to watch it. But the humans did not make it to the ending. They fell asleep huddled together, all pressed up against the demon’s sides. “God damn you, take me!” It wasn’t so funny this time around.” - This has a few layers; it’s referring to how movie Beetlejuice has seen “The Exorcist” 167 times, and says it gets funnier every time. The scene that is being quoted is when the priest character, Karras, tells the demon to take him instead of the girl it’s possessing. He then jumps out the window to kill the demon along with himself. For obvious reasons, this is not quite as funny to Beej anymore. (And, I mean, it’s about an exorcism. And he is dreading an upcoming exorcism. Not fun!)

- “How exquisitely stupid. How perfectly splendid.” - These are both references to two of my favorite pieces of horror media. The first is from “Nope”, the second is from “The Haunting of Bly Manor”.

- “They tried, desperately, to hold it all within their grasp, to savor it, to hold it close. But it’s hopeless. The last day with their BFFF passes like sand through his fingers.” - This is meant to be a reference to “So Long” by Tokyo Elvis, which was the song for one of the previous chapters!

- “7pm arrives like a thief in the night, sure and swift and inevitable.” - the phrase “like a thief in the night” is from “The Masque of Red Death” by Edgar Allen Poe. Lydia’s love of the poet is rubbing off on him!

- “He empties out their belongings from his hammer space and leaves them in tidy piles in the basement.” - this is a reference to a line from Mitski’s “The Last Words of a Shooting Star”, which was almost the song for this chapter. The lyrics it references are “And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy, They'll think of me kindly, When they come for my things”

- The scene where Lydia calls Beetlejuice “BugBeverage” is meant to parallel the goodbye hug they exchanged at the end of the musical, just somewhat reversed!

- “Of all the billions of breathers that coulda seen me and said my name, I’m so glad it was you.” - this is meant to be a homage to a very impactful scene in “Fantastic Mr. Fox”. Shout out to all my fellow autistics that this movie made cry.

- “W-Wiggog Y-” - This is a cheeky reference to Wiggly from the Hatchetfield Universe! I have my own Tickle-Me-Wiggly!

- “I bid you, full foul in your fury, to smother this profane blight with your icy cull,” - This is a rephrasing of one of the best monologues ever from the best movie of all time, “The Lighthouse”. (I have seen it 103 times. I am not joking.) The original lines were, “rise from the depths full foul in his fury!” And “smother this young mouth with pungent slime”

- “His feet shifted, teeter-toter- Deep breath, it’s time.” - Taken from “The View from Halfway Down”, a poem read on “BoJack Horseman” from the same episode as the other quote in this chapter. It is a haunting, distressing poem from the perspective of someone who has jumped off a bridge to commit suicide, but regrets it halfway down. I thought it was extremely thematically relevant here.

- “Morning Frost.” - Morning Frost is a creation of my own. It’s a play on the ‘Morningstar’, or Lucifer, the original demon. The original head honcho of the Netherworld. Not much is known about them by Beej, so we are too for now! The only way to kill a creature born of hellfire is to freeze out that fire.

- “Heart. Lungs. Liver. Nerves.” - This is taken from a similar scene in “Slay The Princess”, one of my favorite games ever!! A horrific timeloop, a twisted romance. I won’t spoil anything, but the character saying this is doing so to keep his body from shutting down, like Beetlejuice. I say this to myself over and over again sometimes when I’m having a panic attack and it’s helped!

- “They hope it’ll lull them safely into a gentle goodnight.” - this is a reference to a famous poem, “Do not go gentle into that good night” by Dylan Thomas.

- The feeling of warmth returning is a bad thing, which is why Adam freaks out more when he notices! One of the last stages of hypothermia is feeling incredibly warm and stopping shaking. There’s also disorientation and confusion, hence why Beej can’t talk or think quite straight after this point.

- A fun little lesson on treating hypothermia from the Deetz-Maitlands! Warm the neck and core with blankets, get heated blankets if possible, and give them warm, sweet beverages. Starting to shake again is a great sign.

- “… he couldn’t let them see him as he was) and stepped forward to greet the pair, shaking on his humanoid illusions and Ghost with the Most persona.” - Beeltejuice is afraid that he can’t take anything back now. He wants to make a good impression on Charles and Delia. Sucks to suck, buddy!

If you’ve made it this far, wow… thank you! This monster of a fic wouldn’t be possible without the serotonin boost every like, comment, and FANART (still can’t believe that one) sent my way. Thank you so much. Can’t wait for Part 2! I will add hints and teasers for what’s to come in the Post Mortem. I’m going to keep working on my crochet sandworm now.

[mistresslrigtar]

First off--booooo to people being rude in your asks! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's always a bummer whenever someone brings bad energy into fandom spaces.

Second, as an actual ask...since I'm FINALLY trying to catch up on Love Is Forever. You use a lot of Radiohead lyrics as epigraphs and inspo for Link's band. Do you picture him having a Thom Yorke sound? What other bands do you image him/them sounding like? (Also I just realized while writing this out that I totally picture Link as Kurt Cobain if he'd been more punk and less into drugs.)

Thank you so much for the ask!

The actual inspiration for Hyrule Warriors is the band Muse. I was going to use Radiohead (because they are my favorite alt rock band) for the prequel, I Belong to You (the complete fic is available on AO3!), but not a lot of their songs worked.

I listened to other alternative rock bands and discovered Muse. Before I wrote I Belong to You, I was only familiar with Knights of Cydonia by Muse because there’s a cover on Guitar Hero 🤣😅 Now, I’m addicted to them. So many of their songs are zelink coded I was able to use only their work for the prequel titles. Their lead singer, Matt Bellamy is who I picture as far as voice type - tenor.

Another reason I decided to use Muse is because in I Belong, Link is the bass guitarist (not the lead guitarist/singer) and Muse has some sick bass guitar riffs. Namely the very first song Zelda ever hears them play:

Hysteria click the song title to hear - if you like metal guitar, you'll like this song and the bass line is absolute 🔥

But, there are two Muse songs that sold me:

Falling Away With You - I immediately thought of TotK when I heard the lyrics: (it's a gorgeous song)

And I’ll feel my world crumbling

I’ll feel my life crumbling

I’ll feel my soul crumbling

And falling away with you.

The other is Exogenesis Symphony Movement Three: Redemption

Link and Gan are best friends, formed Hyrule Warriors, and are composition/piano performance majors.

This excerpt from I Belong to You is the scene Zelda realizes she’s falling in love with Link: (it's my favorite scene/chapter in the entire series)

Zelda looked at the sheets covered in penciled-in music notes and Link’s messy scrawl that began halfway across the score. “I can’t read music very well.”

“That’s okay. I can’t read scientific equations for shit. I just wanted you to sit by me.” He gave her a one-dimpled crooked smile. Oh goddesses, the tightness in Zelda’s chest grew. Maybe asking him to play for her had been a mistake, but it was too late to change her mind. His fingers had already settled on the keys and were beginning to play a simple repeating rolling chord with his left hand.

“This is the third movement. Gan titled it Redemption.” After a few more measures, he began playing with his right hand, simple at first, building to a more complex melody. “Here’s where the string section would come in, with a counter melody. Gan can play a little violin, but we have some friends who will play for us once we complete composing the orchestration.”

The melody grew, and the theme changed. Then he took an audible breath and, to Zelda’s delight, began to sing:

“Let’s start over again

Why can’t we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we’ll be good

This time we’ll get it, hmmm get it right

It’s our last chance

To forgive ourselves.”

Zelda’s throat constricted, and the exhilarating feeling (that she absolutely refused to name because she would be forever lost if she did) blossomed within her, threatening to overwhelm and consume her.

If you haven't read I Belong to You and are enjoying Love is Forever (another Muse song, btw 😉) I highly recommend my own work 😂😅 They are both rated E for adult content (I mean rock star 😂), but it's more plot than the sexy fun times (imo)

[neuroticbookworm]

Current Tag Game

Tagged by my dear friends/mutuals/incoherent scream sesh partners @twig-tea (here), @colourme-feral (here), @blmpff (here), @telomeke (here) and @waitmyturtles (here)

Current Time: nearly 5:00 PM

Current activity: Doomscrolling on social media (not recommended), writing this post (highly recommended, please interact on Tumblr, that's what makes this hellsite fun!)

Currently thinking about: Just watched the IFYLITA finale this morning with my bestie @lurkingshan, so my brain is currently ??????-ing all the different iterations of Yai we got to see (I like that Commander Yai looks more self-assured and confident than our widdle-20-something-lost-and-confused-baby Yai, but, DEAR LORD, The Mustache has to go. Just.. nope. Get that man a razor, STAT). Oh, and also, thinking about dinner.

Current favourite song: I recently watched Utsukushii Kare / My Beautiful Man (Season 1) a few days ago and I have the song from the opening credits stuck in my head on repeat: Caramel / カラメル by Mosawo / もさを。(Original MV with English captions)

(I'm also gonna link the Utsukushii Kare Lyric MV from MBS because I want Kiyoi's pretty face on my post)

I've also been feeling nostalgic lately and listening to some decade-old bangers from my teen years (ah time, thou art a cruel wench)

Patakha Guddi lyrics, translated from Hindi, here

Mogathirai lyrics, translated from Tamil, here

Currently reading: Nothin' but meta posts from the lovely big-brained folks of Tumblrville

Currently watching: Oooooh. I actually wrapped up a lot of live watches and caught up on some incredible shows last week, so lemme do 3 mini-lists:

Recently Watched: Only Friends, Utsukushii Kare / My Beautiful Man, If It's With You / Kimi to Nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo, I Feel You Linger In The Air

Currently Watching: Midnight Diner / Shinya Shokudo, endless reruns of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Community

Next-Up on the Watchlist: I Cannot Reach You / Kimi ni wa Todokanai, Shadow, Dark Blue Kiss, Middleman's Love, Last Twilight, Playboyy, The Whisperer

Current favourite character: Ryuji from If It's With You.

< mild spoilers ahead for If It's With You >

This show did an incredible job portraying two people who have different levels/intensities of desire for one another and I was *floored* when Ryuji responded to Amane's confession in episode 4 with so much care, thoughtfulness and respect for both Amane's desire and his own boundaries. "Please make it one sided for a while" will live in my head rent free for the foreseeable future.

And Amane and Ryuji's conversation at the beach in the finale was another heartfelt and expertly written moment. I deeply adore how Ryuji basically went "I miss you and want to meet you whenever I feel like it, and if that means being a lover, then so be it. Let's date".

So yeah, I'm in love with this highly articulate, fictional, Japanese teenage boy

Current WIP: Ohhhhh man, SO MANY. The most pressing one is a retrospective meta on the Only Friends finale, which I must release into the wild before people move on from the show

Tags: I'm epically late to this one, so I might tag folks who have already done this, so if I do, apologies, friends!

@bengiyo, @italianpersonwithashippersheart, @sunshinechay, @syrena-del-mar, @ranchthoughts, @troubled-mind, @sorry-bonebag, @so-much-yet-to-learn and anyone else who wants to participate. No presh!

[the---hermit]

hello cris! i would love to ask as someone who is currently learning a language (i'm currently trying to learn italian again for the nth time) what are your favorite techniques when it comes to learning a language? i've been trying to study italian for two years now but i always end up giving up immediately 😭🫶🏻

Hello anon!

Firstly I had a vague memory of talking about this before and I checked my masterlist so in case you want to read more here is another similar ask I answered to a while back and here an ask in which I meanioned a few italian fiction books for people who are learning. I'll be honest I did not reread those and I don't remember what I wrote lmao. But you have some more reading to do after this just in case!

At the moment the main language I am very slowly trying to learn is Irish. But I will be honest it's more a free time hobby than actual studying. In the sense that I don't have a schedule for it and I have ups and downs in which I am able to focus a bit more, and times like the past few months in which my energy is nowhere to be found so I do very little progress. The main way I am dping this is with duolingo, which I feel is a great way to start and to keep a tiny bit of practice in your everyday life which is fundamental. Of course if you want to have more progress I would suggest coming up with a more structured study plan and schedule, but I'll talk about it in a bit. The other thing I am implementing is a grammar book that of course is what requires more mental energy. My technique with that is, as everything I study, to read it, underline important things and write my own set of notes. That is because I know it is my main way of learning in general.

And with this we come to a important point, before getting into learning anything try to figure out what are the ways you learn things best. Everyone's brain works differently, I personally have awful memory and my brain works way better using logic (which is why the way duolingo is structured works wonders for me, because it forces me to learn grammar rules with logic and it repeats vocabulary so much that even I end up memorizing it). Writing notes down, even several times, is my go to way of learning in general so of course I focus a lot on that. Clearly with learning a language you also need to implement a lot of practice, which is way I recommend trying out a well made plan. This doesn't mean create insane goals that will make you feel overwhelmed. Instead create a low effort plan in which you regularly do a bit of everything:

Learn vocab and practice it

Learn new grammar rule and practice them

Work on booktext esercises

Active learning with a book

Active learning with a video

These are just some ideas. When I self studied english what really made me learn the language was active learning by immersing myself with the language. That forces you to learn. Watch youtube videos in italian (I am pretty sure there's some people who make specific videos for language learnera in which they speak slowly and focus on certain vocab, so I highly recommend those, but when you feel more comfortable with the language go for pure entertainment, that will have you learn actual spoken Italian which is of course different from textbooks). Approach the language with written texts with either children's books or those novels simplified for language learning (those are great because you often get exercises to practice how much you understood of the story).

I know I have probably mentioned it before, but the first way I got into self studying English when I was younger was by writing down lyrics to my favourite album. I think I have it lying around still, a notebook filled with the lyrics to all the songs from Imaginaerum by Nightwish next to the translations. Listening to music in your target language is such a good trick imo. Take my brother, the guy does not speak one word on English but he knows by heart all the lyrics to Iron Maiden songs all.of.them. he never really had to practice English but if he had to I would suggest he started there. The more you get your target language into your daily life the better it is, and I don't mean just learning from books. Force yourself to describe the room you are in in your target language, write about your days in a diary and do that in your target language. When you are waiting in line list all the words that come up to you in your target language. It's hard at first, of course it is, but with time it gets easier and easier. The final goal is to be able to think in your target language, even if the grammar isn't perfect and it takes a long time to remember the correct words.

Think of yourself as a young child. They are learning languages like you, starting from zero, so focus on things that are for them, books and movies. You cannot expect to learn a language like a native speaker of your age right away, they have years of experience speaking it. If you instead think of yourself as a kid you will approach things that are at your current level, and after you can move on from there.

I think the goal is to make a plan and to fit even the tiniest bit of language learning into your everyday life. The progress might be slow but you are training your brain anyway. When you see something isn't working change it up, give yourself reachable goals, and keep it fun.

I hope this was somewhat helpful! If you have any other questioms my inbox is always open. Buona fortuna!

[ashipiko]

hi SO UM. IM KINDA OBSESSED WITH DECO*27 AS OF LATE AND LIAR DANCE…. HAS ME IN ITS GRASP…. FUNNY THING IS. IT WORKS REALLY WELL WITH ASHI’S OB!!! SO YEAH. here’s a whole post dedicated to her OB

(dunno if this group exists but if anyone is like?? interested in Ashi lore/deep ashace lore I hope you enjoy 🫶🫶 they’re v deep i prom)

INCLUDES: art (you can see it!!!) and a long ashace lyric breakdown to liar dance 🫶

HIGHLY RECOMMEND LISTENING TO RACHIE’S COVER OF THIS SONG WHILE READING! IT HELPS A LOT ESPEC IN THE END OF THIS BREAKDOWN

"I stole it?"

No, I don't know what you’re talking bout

You bluff away with this charade that I can't

Figure out

(“it” refers to a show, like “steal the show”. This is all from Ace’s point of view so he refuses to agree— He doesn’t like and doesn’t understand Ashi’s habit of putting up a front, hence why he dismisses it.)

My darling

You cross your heart and then you hope to

Die

So keep on lying to my face and see if I

Comply

(Ace going “OK BET keep slowly killing yourself and see if I stop trying to save you”. Spoiler, he doesn’t.)

"I stole it?

No, I don't know what you’re talking bout

You speak clichés and reap the praise of all the fools in doubt

My darling

Why can't you see that there's no fooling

Me?

Our love is much more of a mess than even you could be

(Again, same thing with the “steal the show” bit. Ace refers to everyone who falls for her front as a fool, and he insists that no matter what, he can’t be fooled. He’ll forever see Ashi for who she really is. Ace tries to convince her that all of the mess that they’re causing right now is way more of a mess than what she is.)

Blah, blah, blah, blah, do me a favor and

Shut up for now

You think you sound clever, but 'cause I

Know better, you sound just too loud

Try to escape and you'll see that you don't

Have a place left to hide

So speak of the devil, but know that you're

Summoning me to your side

(Ace wants her to shut up so that she can stop and be saved. He thinks that he’s the one with the superior mindset in this situation, and that Ashi should listen to what he’s saying, which is that no one will run away from her for who she really is.)

1,2... 1,2,3

Dance away, you li-i-iar

Your loving burns like fi-i-ire

Only you, only me, let's tear these vows to

Shreds

And let death do us pa-a-art

(Ace refers to Ashi as a liar— It’s what she sees herself as, and what Ace sees her as (a person lying to people with her front in order to please them), but Ace just believes that it’s a faulty way of living. Only you, only me, bit refers to their relationship and special connection. It can also be seen as an attempt to comfort Ashi as well, since she’s the most comfortable with Ace. Ace promises that he’ll forever stay by Ashi’s side, no matter what.)

Poison me, you li-i-iar

Our love is old and tired

So cover your nose and swallow me away

I’ll get into your veins

And then we’ll meet our end

(I interpret this line in a way that Ace persists and continues to go “I’m gonna keep knocking down your walls, no matter what” and he hopes to finally get to Ashi’s head. He does BTW! Eventually. In the future.)

"I stole it?"

No, I don't know what you’re talking 'bout

You bluff away with this charade that I can't

Figure out

It's hidden

It’s tucked away somewhere that's safe and

Sound

I hear you loud and clear, so baby, there's no

Need to shout

(Ace once again references this charade and front which Ashi uses, but the thing that’s hidden and tucked away is her true nature. There’s no hiding that from him— It’s no use to attempt to hide it.)

"You got me!

No wait, I've got no clue, what could you

Mean?

Caught you again today, again you slip away

From me

You're sinking

Digging your grave deeper and deeper down

For all your talk, I see you're nothing but a

Helpless clown

(Refers to Ashi’s slow descent into overblot! She slipped between Ace’s fingers and became distant, only to emerge as her jester, clown faced, blot. Ashi’s slow, lonely descent into madness is greatly shown through the grave line.)

Everyone and my own mother is starting to

Make fun of you

'Cause nothing about all the lies that you tell

Yourself seem to sound true

But in the end, you're the beautiful liar who's

Stolen my heart

You're just the devil, but I'm on your level

So drag me down now

(The first bit references the fact that after this is all over, everyone will know Ashi’s secret (which Ace finds a bit stupid) and that by the end of it, Ace believes that no one will really care. Everyone will accept her, and nothing will change, and that all of her doubts aren’t true. In the end, Ashi’s the one that stole Ace’s heart, and he’s willing to go through so much to save her.)

1,2... 1, 2,3

Dance with me, you li-i-ar

I'm gonna take us higher

Only you, only me, we're guilty as they come

And though our love is wro-o-ong

(Ace trying to convince Ashi that she’s not anything special— People will be empathetic towards her. He’s here with her too. The love is wrong line references the fact that Ashi thinks Ace is wrong for loving her true self.)

Now I've got you, Ii-i-ar

So look me in the ey-y-ye now

Hello, how are you?

Our punishment and crime

Will never go awa-a-ay

No, it's far too late

(Ace trying to catch Ashi’s attention and get through her blotted state. It’s too late to turn back now.)

Dance away, you li-i-iar

Your loving burns like fi-i-ire

Only you, only me, let's tear these vows to

Shreds

And let death do us pa-a-art

(Let’s change gears for these repeated lines. I’ll paint a picture for you. The way that Ashi’s overblot works is that she carries a marionette doll. The doll represents her front that she puts up, and how “that Ashi” would react to this situation. And so, through the entire fight it holds a concerned and scared expression. Ace notices this, and the scene changes.)

Poison me, you li-i-iar

Our love is old and tired

So cover your nose and swallow me away

I’ll get into your veins

Veins

(He figures it out, and everything clicks. Overblotted Ashi represents her true feelings— What she wants people to love, but everyone turns for the puppet version of her. If he’s going to save her, he has to be the most straightforward he can to get through to her blotted mind.)

Dance with me, you li-i-ar

I'm gonna take us higher

Only you, only me, we're guilty as they come

And though our love is wro-o-ong

(Ace uses all of his strength that he can muster after going at this fight for a while. to jump around Ashi as she proceeds to attack everyone around her. He moves swiftly, almost in a dancing motion— He needs to destroy the marionette. Destroying it proves the point; that he doesn’t need all of this fake stuff. He needs the real Ashi, and he’ll care for her.)

Now I've got you, Ii-i-ar

So look me in the ey-y-ye now

Hello, how are you?

Our punishment and crime

Will never go awa-a-ay

(Ace finally catches Ashi’s attention and is able to talk to her. Once again, he tries to get through her head. All of the memories and journeys they’ve been through will never fade away, and all the things that Ashi believes people will hate are things that Ace will love.)

No, it's far too late

All the things that I should hate

But the moon is in the sky

So guess

This is goodbye

(Ace is able to pry the doll from Ashi’s grasp as he gets her distracted. The goodbye is the final hit, as Ace smashes her marionette to pieces, and from there, her overblot is finished.)

NOTE: I used Rachie’s lyrics, but I know for a FACT there is a line that says “turn me inside out and I look just like you”. This line is really important too (so I’m sad it’s not included here), but I think it’s a really good one because Ace and Ashi are really similar when it comes down to it. Ashi’s so scared of showing it, but in the end Ace is there, to be by her side and be the absolute worst with her.

[firethekitty]

okay you reblog a lot of albums ive never heard of and am curious about but it’s hard to get myself to sit down and listen to a whole album so please please, Top Ten-ish Songs To Get To Know You kind of list? pretty please?

i literally daydream about people asking me stuff like this LOL. so this is hardly a comprehensive list of all my favorite songs ever but here are some songs that are really important to me!!! this got REALLY long so i put it under a read more

1. meet me in the woods by lord huron

my absolute favorite song Ever like of all time. means everything to me. i could listen to this every single day and never get tired of it. INSANELY fun, incredible vibes, makes me want to go outside and shoot a beam into somebody. lord huron is an Experience. all their albums are concept albums and there’s actually a fair amount of lore going on. on the physical CD for strange trails it actually has the characters’ names next to their respective songs

for meet me in the woods, it sounds very upbeat and happy, but listen closely and you’ll realize it’s not quite as it seems… in-universe, it’s narrated by a woman named francine lu, and the song has the same chords as the first track of the album (and another of her songs) “love like ghosts”. she also narrates “the night we met”, easily LH’s most famous song. francine lu is not having a normal one. what’s her problem? listen to find out…..

2. crystals by of monsters and men

this was my favorite song ever for about 6 years until meet me in the woods ranked just a tiny bit higher. sooo fucking fun, itches a part of my brain that’s only accessible via icelandic stomp & holler. makes me very happy and always cheers me up! of monsters and men was the first new (at the time) band i ever really discovered on my own without hearing about from my parents or other people, and i’ve been listening to them ever since (almost 13 years!!) they are incredibly important to me and i highly recommend all of their albums

3. sunblind by fleet foxes

relatively new but became a favorite as soon as i heard it. this is also one of the most Me songs i can think of on top of just being so fucking gorgeous and raw and heartfelt. this song is a tribute to deceased musicians who influenced robin pecknold (the lead singer and songwriter for fleet foxes) and how their music is pretty much the reason he’s even alive today. my favorite lines are “only way that i made it for a long time / but i’m loud and alive, singing you all night”. this entire album is sincerely a masterpiece and i highly recommend listening to it all. fleet foxes have really beautiful and unique lyrics, they remind me of mitski’s lyrics in that they’re very poetic and personal and emotional but still subjective enough that you can connect them to your own life

4. this must be the place by talking heads

specifically the stop making sense live recording, which i still half-refuse to believe is a live recording because it’s just THAT fucking good. whenever someone says david byrne can’t sing i direct them here, because he does sincerely have an incredible voice and he simply Chooses to sing weirdly bc he’s a quirked up white boy with autistic swag.

this is just a really sweet and romantic song from a band that otherwise stays far away from love songs and it works extremely well. this entire album is fucking incredible and easily the best live album of all time. half of them are BETTER than the studio recordings, and you can also watch david byrne leap straight up backwards like a full 4 feet

highly recommend watching stop making sense just the entire film

5. vein of stars by the flaming lips

back in 2014, i watched a very beloved streamer play a game called “space engine”, in which you explore as much of the universe as we’ve theorized to exist. this was a little before copyright laws got so fucking strict on youtube and twitch, so mr. vinny vinesauce could play any music he wanted while planet-hopping. one of those songs was vein of stars, and it’s been one of my absolute favorites ever since.

the flaming lips are definitely an acquired taste. wayne coyne does Not have a very good voice and it can get extremely grating, especially to someone who hasn't heard them before. but when it works, god it works. this song is so pretty and nostalgic to me, always calms me down whenever i’m In A Mood. it’s nihilistic but not in a depressing way, more like “yeah maybe we aren’t here for any particular reason, maybe there’s nothing after this life. there’s nothing we can do about that, so why worry?”. very peaceful. REQUIRED listening when stargazing

6. good old-fashioned lover boy by queen

one of the first songs i ever truly hyperfixated on. unfortunately i listened to it SO fucking much it kind of ruined it for me, but i still do really love it. i may not listen to it that often anymore but i felt obligated to put it here bc it had a Profound Effect on my developing brain

7. too much time by john vanderslice

the year is 2012 and you're halfway through the newest episode of the hit podcast welcome to nightvale. cecil announces the weather. little do you know that you will carry the next 3 and a half minutes with you for the rest of your life. this one is just absurdly nostalgic to me (and not to mention incredibly vash the stampede coded). beloved song!!!

8. waltz for zizi & the real folk blues by the seatbelts & mai yamane

well it’s no secret that i think cowboy bebop has the greatest anime soundtrack of all time and one of THE greatest soundtracks of all time Ever. this is just an objective fact actually.

i believe this is because the seatbelts and specifically the composer yoko kanno studied real jazz, blues, and bebop to make the ost. like it's not just "jazz-flavored", there is genuine, deep respect and you can hear it in every single track. waltz for zizi gives me physical goosebumps every single time i listen to it, it's absolutely perfect. i've made it a ritual to listen to every time i visit the shore at night and go stargazing. sincerely transcendent experience

9. cuckoo song by cosmo sheldrake

hhhhhrrr this entire fucking albummmm hhhhhhhrhhhhrhhhaauuuuUUUUOOOGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

back during my final semesters of college, i had to take a course for art degree seniors. we’d pick something we were passionate about, make art for it, and it would be hung up for a week in the exhibition room. i chose birds of course, but wake-up calls inspired me to shift that choice to something more important than just random funny bird drawings. i focused on bird species that have gone extinct within the last 60 years because wake-up calls is made almost entirely out of endangered bird songs.

i’ll be honest i can barely listen to this song or anything on the album because i WILL literally start sobbing like in real life. cuckoo song in particular just makes me start crying every single time i listen to it, it’s like a magic spell. it’s not even necessarily sad but just viscerally bittersweet. the art for the album is made by flora wallace. here’s the spotify canvas i made a gif just for you 👍

10. take you back by orville peck

and finally………….. the song that made me realize that i actually DO love real country music a lot, and that the derivative “bro country” sub-genre that developed in the early 2000s has absolutely destroyed any positive opinion of country music in society. we NEED to go back, and orville peck is more than doing his part. this is the first song i ever heard by him and it's just so goddamn fun. i am completely unable to not sing along to this when it comes on

not only do i highly recommend orville peck but also any country music from the 50s and 60s, especially marty robbins, charley pride, conway twitty, and of course mrs. dolly parton. and later country rock/folk rock bands like america and creedence clearwater revival. it’s SO good i’m so serious

orville peck is the only modern country singer i can think of who's not afraid to bring back the harmonicas and whistling and steel guitars and whip cracks and yeehaws. it's fantastic. he's also gay and an outspoken trans ally. i believe this gives him the power to revive country music from the dead 🙏

[adiosterror]

🩶, 🎚️ and 🪽

(@/scarecrowbf ^_^)

Oh geez, three at once,, bet

🩶 (Song that reminds you of your f/o)

There's SO many I could say for this, honestly, but I'll have to go with (and highly recommend) Ascending Heaven by Asyndeton!

I have no idea where I first heard this song, but it really stuck with me when I was in school and I would listen to it every day while I read the comic. It's a very comforting song, especially the chorus with the lines 'I'll take away your pain, I'll hold you in my arms' both feels like a selfship thing and also how she treats her friends and all that. She's very stubborn on making sure everyone she loves is safe, going as far as to literally retcon the entire story so they don't have to die.

🎚️ (Album cover that reminds you of your selfship and/or your f/o)

I'm sure there's a lot of really good answers out there that I could say, and I'd love to hear any other ideas, but I'd have to say I'm split between two! There's the album cover for Homestuck Vol. 10 with all the kids meeting up which is awesome (it also has casey!! i love you so much casey), but that feels like too easy of an answer.

My other option would probably be Owl City's Ocean Eyes. I didn't even know this until I googled it, but this album came out in 2009! Just a couple months after Homestuck first started,, neat! I'd choose the deluxe edition of the album cover, the big lettering and white border makes it feel a bit lighter in color compared to the original. And also, the deluxe has a banger remix of Hello, Seattle.

🪽 (Song lyric that makes you think of your f/o and/or selfship)

There are SO many of these I could scream, but I'll stick to two just to keep it simple!

The first one is from Meteor Shower by Cavetown, specifically the line 'I'd sell my own bones for sapphire stones, 'cause blue is your favorite color.'

I'm not even really sure if blue is her favorite color? I'm pretty sure it is, but there's some hot debate in the fandom about it being either blue or green. I'm on team blue because literally everything is blue except her original shirt and things based off it, which is just Slimer from Ghostbusters,, who is green,,,

But yeah, I think she'd look really pretty in sapphires, now that I think about it,,,

The other song is It Only Takes A Moment from the Hello, Dolly soundtrack!

This song stuck with me ever since I was a little kid, my favorite movie has always been Wall-E lol,, but the lyric for this song is 'Your heart knows in a moment, you will never be alone again.'

I'm not sure why I have it superglued onto June in my head, but the delivery of the line sounds so full of adoration and acceptance, it makes me feel that kinda way, you know? You can just hear the love in his voice, throughout the whole song but especially in this line.

Thank you so much for the ask!! It means the world to me, hehe,, I'm excited to see your responses too! ❤️❤️

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year and a fic you didn’t expect to write this year from the list you reblogged?

End Of The Year Fanfic Asks (send me some???)

oooh yay!!! thank you for sending me some (even if I am a bit late answering them)

13. Favourite writing song/artist/album of this year?

So - I am going to assume that this means music that you enjoyed listening to while writing or music that inspired your fics?

I don't usually listen to music while writing fics, because I like to clear my head of all distractions during the actual writing process. But usually while I am thinking of ideas or getting in the mood to write a specific fic, then I will definitely curate songs for it. Or sometimes, if I am just listening to a random playlist, then a song that comes on will give me an idea for a fic and inspire me.

And like 80% of my fics are titled after songs, so I love using song lyrics as inspiration and using song motifs and imagery when writing fics.

This year, the album The Jaws of Life by Pierce The Veil was literally top notch for me.

I also really loved So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy, but surprisingly - The Jaws of Life inspired way more fics for me. It came out in February of 2023 and actually - while I did have the middle school emo phase and the emo trinity has always been sacred to me, I didn't start listening to Pierce The Veil actively until I was in my 20s. Which is fucking wild.

But upon hearing the single from this album, Emergency Contact, I fucking fell in love with it - and it was one of the main inspirations for this Jason Todd fic, which I think is one of the greatest fics I have ever written. And the sequel is going to be titled The Jaws of Life - which is another song off the album and I am so excited about how both song titles suit the fics so well.

And there is several other fics I have named after songs off this album (I could have easily named a fic after each song off the album cause I love it so much, but I was trying to use restraint) - Shared Trauma (Gar Logan x Reader), and Damn The Man, Save The Empire (Vanessa Shelly x Reader). And because I was listening to more Pierce The Veil in general, this fic got its title - King For A Day.

I highly, highly recommend the album if you are looking for some fanfic inspiration - or just something good to listen to.

14. A fic you didn't expect to write:

Okay so - this could have a few different answers. Because I absolutely was not expecting to randomly get back into Harry Potter, have another hardcore fixation with it, and end up writing fics for it in the year 2023.

But something I absolutely did not expect - to be writing Spencer Reid fanfiction. Writing the Lessons For A Genius oneshot (and it's follow up, especially so quickly) - I was shocked with myself, because I thought that the first CM fic I ever wrote would be my last.

Idk how many of the people reading this were following me in 2021, but I wrote and posted my first ever Criminal Minds fanfic back then - and mentally, as an artist, it was one of the wildest fanfiction experiences I have ever had.

Burn The Witch - my feelings about it are almost indescribable.

I often have these fics that I call 'mutated oneshots'. Fics that started out as a oneshot, that were always intended to be a oneshot (around 20k) that end up having these mutations and growths - some scenes need more shading in, the emotional arcs of the characters need more time to be fully informed, and while in my head, it is still fully a oneshot, it's now at 40k and I know nobody is going to read that in one sitting in a digestable way. So I have to break it up into parts and I hate doing that because it was never intended to be a series.

It's more like a movie that is getting commercial breaks when you put it on TV (and I think of a writing a series like an episode style TV show).

Some examples of these mutated oneshots are - You Shook Me All Night Long (intended to be one short part, ended up as four parts with a bonus blurb series). No Place Like Home is a huge one - meant to be a oneshot, then in my head it turned into a three shot - ended up as seven fucking parts and currently it's the longest thing I have written, sitting at 90k. I'm Still Standing is another good example.

And it gets even worse, because when I split things up into parts, I'm like "I can add a bit more to this chapter, because maybe I want the mood of the chapter to be a certain way, or I wanna frame the ending of the chapter a certain way so the audience is left with something cool" - and then that adds on like 5k more in a hot minute.

So - how does this affect my feelings about Burn The Witch and Criminal Minds fanfics overall?

Burn The Witch was supposed to be a short, smutty oneshot. That is it. But in the finished version, the sex scene and the smutty themes fall so far into the background - because this turned into an emotional casefic. This fic got so far away from me, and I drove myself insane while writing it, because I wanted to 'hold back', but then I couldn't. And I thought the dark and gory elements were some of the best things I have ever written - but it was received as a flop when I first posted it.

And when I posted it on Tumblr, the chapter with the smut scene in it was the one that always consistently got the most likes - even though it's a chapter in the middle of the story. So I could tell that even though I slaved over making the whole fic consistently very good, as a whole, well-rounded story, a lot of people were only reading one chapter in the middle of it for smut, and that's it. And that made me really upset.

(Like if you want a oneshot for smut, just go find one. It made me regret even labelling it as 'the smut chapter'.)

And just the pure mental and emotional exhaustion I went through to get such little return from the readers - I vowed that I was probably never going to write a Criminal Minds fic ever again.

And I have so many ideas for a sequel to Burn The Witch, but I think if I actually try plotting it all out and writing it and make it how I envision it - it will put me in a mental asylum, because it will end up being like 100k and I don't know if I can write it how I envision it being. Or if I will go crazy in the process.

So generally, I have such a love/hate relationship with writing Criminal Minds fanfics. I think they're fun and I think they can turn out so good, but the readers can be so picky and demanding in that fandom specifically. So I often like to steer clear unless a particular idea is just haunting me. Which is why I am surprised that I ended up writing more for CM this year.

[lelitachay]

1 (søsken) and 6?

Hi, Noni! Thanks for the questions!

1. Song that reminds me of Søsken:

To be honest, there are several songs that had inspired Søsken or parts of it. But to be concise, let's mention two songs and an album.

"In the blood" by John Mayer. This one shouldn't come as a surprise since it was included in one of the chapters. Chapter 14, if I'm not mistaken. I remember while I was writing that chapter I wrote the scene which included the song and then erased it. And then I wrote it once again. Till this day I'm not sure if the song belongs in there. It messes with the time frame the story is set in. Søsken is set in the middle 90s and the song is from the 2010s. It also seems weird to include the lyrics like that. But still believe those lyrics speak to Elsa and I can't make up my mind about taking them out of the chapter or not.

"Into my mother's arms" by Kaleo. This song isn't a spoiler in itself but it has inspired something that will happen in future chapters. The first time I listened to it, which was two or three years ago, I felt it was Elsa speaking and ever since I couldn't take it out of my mind.

Now, the album that reminds me of Søsken is Divenire by Ludovico Einaudi. I enjoy listening to soft piano while I write and I've got to admit Divenire has been on repeat throughout the most important chapters I've written. One of them was titled after one of the songs in the album. Ludovico's music has been great inspiration. I highly recommend it.

6. Story by another author I re-read all the time:

"All it cost" by Nova42. That's the story that started it all. She has written a prequel, an in-between story and she is currently writing the sequel to All it cost. Till this day no story has represented Anna and Elsa in a better way. Nova is an excellent, excellent writer. Her stories can make you cry your eyes out in one scene and laugh in the next. The setting, the plot... Everything is amazing. Please, if you haven't read it, please do. Ice read each chapter more than ten times I think. We also like to analyse the characters through comments. Following that story and Nova has made me grow so much as a writer.

This doesn't mean I haven't read and enjoyed other stories as much as well, but this one is the one that stands out.

Sorry for the long reply, but I couldn't just name a song or a story and not explain why. Lol.

[systemrestart]

Remi's 2023 favorites!!

I used to do this on twitter but given what's happened to that site, I'm doing it over here this year! This was a brutal year for me MH wise, but at least I was introduced to some good stuff.

List under the cut

Starting off strong with my favorite thing of the whole year......

[FAVORITE VISUAL NOVEL]

Heaven Will Be Mine

Worst Girl Games has done it again. I am so glad I finally read this. Very few pieces of media have ever so perfectly captured what it means to feel 'inhuman', but still trapped by Earth's, humanity's, "gravity". The relationships between the 3 girls, and the circumstances that shaped them, put beautifully to the page feelings I know many other queer people share. There is nothing else like this out there.

[FAVORITE VIDEO GAME]

Mystia's Izakaya

Mystia's Izakaya is truly THE Touhou fangame to play. So many fun characters to get to know and serve food to, really great restaurant simulator with minor rhythm game elements, gorgeous pixel art in both character portraits and environment, so many challenges to try and outfits/music/items to unlock......!! And there's still more DLC coming out.

The love and effort put into this game is astonishing, and I am so glad I gave it a shot despite being nervous about restaurant sims. Highly recommend, even to non-Touhou fans!!!!

[FAVORITE SONG]

Psi

The lyrics seem to be a criticism of the extreme pace of 'content consumption' online nowadays, which I have mixed feelings on, but regardless, the song itself is absolutely killer. Particularly the verses. The effects with the TVs during the second verse are also great, capture the chaotic and mildly ominous energy of the song extremely well. This is definitely the song I listened to the most this year

[FAVORITE MOVIE]

Glass Onion

Watched this at the very beginning of the year. One of the best live-action movies I've seen in a long time, genuinely brilliant. Really hoping for more Knives Out films, they've knocked it out of the park so far. I also think this one and the first Knives Out will be very rewarding to revisit

[FAVORITE ANIME/SHOW]

I didn't watch anything this year. whoops

[FAVORITE MANGA]

Until I Love Myself

Most of the books and manga I read this year were autobiographical/semi-autobiographical, and this was one of my favorites. This is about a nonbinary mangaka dealing with sexual harassment as a editing job, and the subsequent struggles they have with PTSD, navigating life in the wake of the #MeToo Movement, and their difficult feelings on their gender and body, and how those things affect how others treat/see them. Reflected a lot of my own feelings and thoughts on these things, and very insightful. Can be a rough read at time, but I highly, highly recommend it.

[FAVORITE BOOK]

Stone Butch Blues

Absolutely life-changing read. It is extreme heavy, deals in police violence (including sexual violence inflicted upon LGBT people), labour rights and protests, severe discrimination based on gender and presentation, extreme poverty in part due to said discrimination, difficult and multifaceted relationships between queer women and lesbians......... there is a lot here. It is raw, and real, and while there is agonizing hardship here, there is also incredible, deep love, for the community that keeps up afloat, keeps us going. Please, if you can stomach the content, I beg of you all to read Stone Butch Blues if you haven't.

..... aaaand that's it I think!! Happy new year y'all!

[witchwolflea]

Don't treat me bad

I recommend listening to 'don't treat me bad ' by Firehouse while reading this one shot. This one shot will be published in 2 parts

TW : Mention of abuse, SA, drugs, violence, mention of blood

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary : Yn is in a toxic relationship with Billy Hargove who abuses you. You have been dating Billy for a year and are to afraid to end things with him. But what happens when he drag you to a bar where you meet the handsome lead guitarist and vocalist of the band Corroded Coffin ? What happens when he talks to you behind the bar after the show ? Will you confide in him ? Will you break up with Billy ?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You've been with Billy for a year now. You fell in love with him as soon as he arrived in town, and you were the "lucky" girl he chose. In fact, you're not so lucky as Billy is often abusive toward you, especially when he is drunk. At the beginning of your relationship, everything was amazing. He was a perfect gentleman. He would take you to dates to the cinema or to the local diner, he would buy you flowers or gifts, you would spend afternoons listening to metal and Rock N Roll. But after several months of being together, his behavior changed slightly, he started becoming jealous and more possessive. You couldn't see your boyfriends anymore, including your best friend Steve. At the beginning you didn't see the problem, you thought it was normal, but then he started to explicitly cheat on you and beat you every time you'd male a remark. Sometimes, when he is really drunk, he even forces you to have sex, and when you refuse, he kicks you in the face. But you can't leave him, because you're scared of what might happen to you and to anyone who would help you get away from him.

It is a November afternoon, and you and Max are waiting for Billy to pick you up. You and the redhead girl never talked a lot, but you knew she knew what was happening between you and Billy because she once tried to talk to you about it. You really like this little girl and hate when Billy takes his anger out on her, you'd rather have him hit you than hit her, she didn't even choose to have him in her life, she wasn't a fool like you were. Yes you highly regretted falling for the new boy in town.

As usual, Billy arrived late and drunk, you climb on the passenger seat while Max clim on the back. Billy tells her for the umpteenth time to stiop hang out with Lucas, he is one of the kids who sometimes hang out with Steve now. You miss Steve a lot, but everytime you tried to talk to him behind Billy's back they got caught and ended up witgh a bruised face. Billy drop Max at home. Tonight the two of you are going out, Billy told you that he wanted to see the local metal band perform at the hideout, one of the bars in Hawkins. You loved metal too and were happy to finally be able to go out, because when you are not at school you have to either stay home or at Billy's so he doesn't get jealous. On the road Billy starts sermoning you about not talking to anyone at the bar, even though the mimimum age of the regular customers is around 40 years old. A song entitled "Don't treat me bad" is playing on the radio, you think about the irony of it, feeling blue.

'I never thought you'd hurt me I guess you live and learn When you're playin' with fire You're bound to get burned Oh, I've been mistreated I've been used before I get kicked in the face Still I come back for more'

You miss your old life, your life before Billy.

"What did you do today ?" you asked so you could distract yourself from the lyrics of the song

"I went to the gym and then hang out" he answers

You know what he means by hang out but you don't say anything, knowing where it'll lead you. Unfortunately, your facial expression probably betrayed you because Billy angrily sped up before saying "Why do you look at me like that ? I have to distract myself ! Plus you don't want to have sex with me so I have to satisfy my needs"

"You don't care about my opinion, you still have sex with me" you snap. And you shouldn't have because he sped up even more cursing and threatening to kill you. Your heart is racing, even aching at what he is doing and saying.

He angrily pulls up to the Hideout's parking and gets out of the car angrily, heading in the bar without waiting for you. You stay in the car for five good minutes, bracing yourself and heading inside. You sit at the counter and order two beers. You then shyly bring one to Billy who takes it without even looking at you.

The band just entered the scene and started playing a song by Iron Maiden named Run to the Hills and the lead guitarist, who is in high school with you start singing.

'White man came across the sea He brought us pain and misery He killed our tribes, he killed our creed He took our game for his own needWe fought him hard, we fought him well Out on the plains we gave him hell But many came, too much for Cree Oh, will we ever be set free?Riding through dust clouds and barren wastes Galloping hard on the plains Chasing the redskins back to their holes Fighting them at their own game Murder for freedom the stab in the back Women and children are cowards, attackRun to the hills Run for your lives Run to the hills Run for your lives'

You look at the lead guitarist slash singer with admiration in your eyes, his voice is so beautiful, and he feels so free when he plays, plus you've always found him attractive. Billy's voice pull you out of your thoughts.

"Stop staring at him" he takes you in a hug, well he pretends it's a hug but he keeps a tight grip on you, putting your head toward your chest so you can't look at the band playing anymore. After a while he releases you to go grab a beer, while the band is singing their last song of the night. Billy start being pretty drunk and even start flirting with the waitress. When you see him do that, and even every day in this relationship, you feel like you worth nothing, that you are nobody and that if you disapeared, you would miss to no one as you have no longer friends. You decide to head to the back of the bar, you lit up a cigarette and sit on the ground, smoking. You smoke for a little while, before someone sat next to you, and this someone is none other than the lead guitarist of the band you just saw perform; Corroded Coffin. He sits next to you and light up a joint before saying "Why have you cried ?" he says with a raspy voice from all the singing

You didn't notice it but tears were rolling off your face and your mascara was a mess on your face. 

"I'm sorry, it's just that... nevermind, you don't care"

"I do care, if you need to talk go ahead, I'm a pretty good listener" he answers

"We don't even know each other" you say, hoping it will dissuade him from wanting to know more

"I'm Eddie Munson and you are ?"

"Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N" you answer while taking a drag from your cigarette

"Now that we know each other, you can tell me what's bothering you" he says, proud of his move

You chuckle before saying "so that's why you introduced yourself"

"That's what led me to it yes" he says proudly before continuing "But I mean it, if you need to vent about something, or to tell me why your face was burried in your boyfriends shirt during half of the show, you can, I won't judge nor repeat anything you say to me"

"It's because of him" you blurt out

Eddie look at you confused "What's because of him ?"

"That I'm crying, that I feel unimportant, everything..."

"Did he hurt you ?" Eddie asks after bracing himself, preparing himself for the worst answer

"Not today" you answer, "but I souldn't tell you any of this, if he knows-"

Eddie cuts you "Did he ever hurt you ?" Eddie's tone is serious, far from the boy that you know from highschool, far from the boy that was amused by his move earlier.

You start sobbing, looking at Eddie with frightened eyes "I- I can't tell you without putting you in danger"

"I can stand for myself" he answers "and I take that as a yes,  I know you don''t really know me but I'm offering you to stay at my trailer, you won't have to see him, ever, and you can stay for as long as you need to"

You look at him, really moved by this kind gesture and think about it.

"What if he knows I'm with you ? What if he hurt you for helping me ?"

"No what if YN, I'm not letting you go back with him, go to the back of my van, I'm gonna grab my stuff and we're gonna head to my trailer"

Eddie opens the back doors of his van for you, he knows that if you're in the passenger seat and Billy sees you, you might be in trouble. He heads inside, grab his guitar, his amps and head back to the van, he put the amps and the guitar next to you and head up to the driver's seat. Once you're pretty far from the bar Eddie speak up "You can come on the passenger seat now"

You crawl your way to the passenger seat and sit next to Eddie before asking "Why are you so kind to me ?"

Eddie look at you, as if the answer was evident "I'm not gonna let you get hurt by him one more time, and I think it's best if you don't come to school tomorrow, because it is the first place he'll be checking to find you"

"But I can't miss school, my parent's are going to be furious" you answer

"Your safety is more important than school, grades or parent, besides I'll stay home with you, to distract you but also to protect you in case..."

"In case he find me" you finish for him.

Eddie pulls over in front of his trailer, get out of the car and goes to the passenger side so he can open the door for you. 

"M'lady" he says gesturing for you to get out. 

You're getting out of the car, shaky because of the fear building up. What if he finds you ? What will he do to Eddie ?

Eddie leads you inside of his trailer while playfully saying "Welcome to the Munson Mansion"

You want to laugh at his joke, but you can't, you start shaking even more. What if Eddie is like Billy ? What if- Your train of thoughts  is cut off by Eddie's voice

"I promise you, you're safe here". Eddie could see that you were scared, even if he doesn't know exactly what scared you, he could tell you were afraid he'd turn out to be like Billy, you were traumatized after all. 

You weakly smile at him before asking "Where is the bathroom ?"

Eddie leads you to the bathroom before going to his room searching for clean towels that he hands to you. "Here, you can take your time, I'm gonna prepare the couch for tonight"

You lock yourself in the bathroom and take your shirt off, you stare blankly at the bruises until you hear Eddie's voice behind the door. "Is everything okay ? You've been in there for 5 minutes and I still haven't heard the water running. 

You take a shaky breath before answering "sorry I'm gonna shower quick" 

"You climb in the shower and clean yourself up trying to avoid the bruises on your ribs, legs and face, then you get out of the bathroom, forgetting to put some foundation on to hide the bruises.

Eddie gestures to your face while saying "Jesus H. Christ, did he do that to you ?"

You nod before going toward the couch and saying "Can we talk about it later, I'm worn out"

Eddie look at you, concerned, before answering "Of course, but you're sleeping in my bed"

"Eddie I can't chase you from your bed" you answer, embarassed that he ask you to sleep in his bed while he'll sleep on that uncomfortable couch.

"First of all, you don't chase me because I'm the one who offered, second of all it wasn't a question"

You head to his bedroom, lay on the bed and fall asleep really quickly, not even taking off your clothes and shoes nor putting the covers on you. When Eddie come back to the bedroom to wish you goodnight, you are already fast asleep. He delicately takes off your shoes and put the cover on your body before heading out of the room and closing the door. 

The next morning, you wake up, with the cover on you and smile at the small gesture. You stir before getting up and heading out to the living room. You see Eddie in the kitchen with a pile of burned pancakes.

"What happened ?" you ask 

"I tried to make you breakfast but I'm the worst cook ever" he say defeated but also slightly ashamed. 

You go to the kitchen, take the stove from Eddie's hands and make pancakes with what's left of the pancake mix. 

Then, you eat your breakfast in a comfortable silence. You Eddie is starring at you all breakfast long before you say.

"You're starring Eddie" 

Eddie is cut off guard "Uh... sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry it's-" you're cut off by Wayne coming back home. He look at Eddie, then you and look at the bruise on your face before turning to Eddie with a look asking for information.

"Wayne, this is YN, YN this is Wayne my uncle" 

"We're going to let you sleep Wayne, we'll be back at 2" Eddie says

"Sure kiddo, be careful" he says

Eddie takes your hand and both of you go out of the trailer. 

"Where are we going ?" you ask, worried

"To my secret spot, I'm sure he won't find us here" he answers

You and Eddie spend hours at the picnic table talking about everything and nothing. Eddie even made you laugh ! You haven't laughed in a while now. And the sound if your laugh was music to his hears. You then talked about music and in particular metal music. You've learned that Eddie's favorite band was Dio but he also is a huge fan of Metallica, and he learnt that your favorite group is Iron Maiden. You then talked about the fact that he has the same name than the mascot from Iron Maiden and Eddie ended up saying that he'll dress up like it at Halloween. 

"You know YN, you're beautiful" he says

"You're not so bad yourself Munson, and I really like you but I can't, I haven't ended things with Billy and I've been mistreated and used, and kicked in the face... I'm not ready to be in a relationship Eddie, I'm sorry but this is too soon"7

"I understand" he says "And I'll wait for you for as long as it takes, I don't want to pressure you, at all. And I'm sorry for what Billy did to you, if you need to end things with him properly,  I'll come with you, we will do it together" 

"I think it's best if I'm alone with him, but thank you Eddie" you answer

"I'm not letting you alone with him, ever, if you wanna end things with him I'll be here, with you, and it's not up for discussion. If something happened to you, I could never forgive myself"

"But what if-" 

Eddie cuts you off "No what if YN" 

You brace yourself before saying "Let's get it over with"

You climb to the passenger seat of Eddie's van, the whole ride is tensed and spent in silence. Eddie can see that you can't stop fidgeting with your hands, so he grabs your hand and take it in his.