#I havent been active enough on tumblr

[skullzanta]

Unlimited Shapeshifting is both Terrifying and Amazing. I want it.

To clarify I do not mean Realitybending shapeshifting where you can change your atomic structure, nor something like "I can instantly poof into another form". No, I mean like hardcore shapeshifting, but where you can simply learn and evolve through trial and effort, but nothing limits you to how much you experiment with it minus the Laws of Physics.

So, you still need fuel, you still need time to change shape, your skin cells wont just grow like STEM Cells unless you figure out how to reverse engineer STEM Cell interactions within Skin cells.

Anything in genetic engineering is possible, so imagine for a moment: You arrive into another world suffering "The Demon Lord", but the God of that world gives you a superpower of your choice. You choose unlimited shapeshifting. She comes back to congratulate you as she feels the Demon Lord die, only to see a pile of flesh that has consumed the entirety of their castle and created necromorphs and Resident Evil horrors just to win. You are now the new Demon Lord and must be terminated at all costs.

Alternatively, You revolutionize science and begin the biotechnological revolution, giving others magic and flesh powers, and accidentally become a new goddess to the denizens of the world by the time you defeat the Demon Lord.

And ALTERNATIVELY Alternatively, you could simply become a boy or girl or whatever after some experimenting, and form a spy network that nobody but you and some others possibly know is just you and not an actual network.

Or just become a girl or boy on demand and become a standard adventurer.

You can do so many things with this power, and we could SO easily enact the Trans Agenda on the worl-hemhem...YOU could so easily become a nightmare or a goddess.

So, what would you do with this power in the same situation?

[tequiilasunriise]

Shoutout to all the blogs that, during the 2 year RWBY hiatus, gained followers from posting about other fandoms and are now charging up all the stored rwbyrot theyre about to nuke down like an eldritch blast once volume 9 drops

ITS ME, IM ‘BLOGS’!!!

No seriously, I gained quite a few followers during my Wenclair Era, and don’t get me wrong I still adore Wenclair to absolute pieces, but RWBY has been a special hyperfixation of mine fer YEARS. It’s been an interest that hibernates on and off during hiatuses but nothing has ever latched onto my psyche so deeply as RWBY has with all of its faults and good parts alike. Once Feb 18 drops, I swear to you I will be the most obnoxious person e v e r like I will be rwbyrotting so hard I will SCREAM and CRY and HOLLER about Bumbleby and Whiterose and my babygirl Ruby finally finally finally getting some fresh hot juicy character development but I’ve missed all of the girls in general and!!! Just about everything about V9 so like. Prepare yourself fer my true form.

[dandyshucks]

trying desperately to keep up w how all the moots are doing but i feel like so many ppl keep disappearing when im not around and i feel very sad about it :(

[orcelito]

the hilarious thing will be if me being back in school actually Improves my productivity with writing. bc i have so goddamn much free time rn, but what am i doing with it? fucking anime and crochet. i really do need to get my ass in gear for cleaning and also writing this reverse bang fic. but really. im probably going to be able to do more writing once im back in school

How, you may ask?

procrastination is a powerful drug.

[rotturn]

1 week and 13 hours ish until im going to the Other Side of the Planet for 2 months

[as-i-watch]

Well well well...long time no see

Hi!

So basically since may i've working full time and i started the last course of an extra degree im getting.

Between the two of those big badies of adult life and you know, my actual life outside of work and study, i had no energy left for like, well, nothing else really

It's not that i havent been watching One Piece, i havent been watching anything, and those who follow me on main know i havent been active on tumblr all together

But last week i finished the course! (And the degree is on its way) So i got a time slot opening up so i can jump back on this blog

I dont think i can go back to posting daily like on my student days, but i want to be posting at least once a week, more if i can

Also i know this week the new season of Vox Machina was out! I'll post about it if the brainrot if bad enough

so, in summary:

October will bring you One piece weekly and vox machina (quite possibly)

Can wait to see you all again, i've missed you guys

[saturnine-saturneight]

I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed every time I've come on Tumblr, which is why I havent been active here very much. Everybody is doing cool stuff, and I don't have the brain space to keep up with all of it, so rather than decide where to start I'm reading none of it instead :')

Reburial is on the back burner now. We're at the part of the story where the tone drastically changes, and I want to get this right. We're out of the immediate action, and now I want to bring out the themes in the story in a more introspective, slower paced way. This might lose me some readers, I'm not sure yet. It's definitely no longer the romp that the water facility and the sickness arc were, but if those were the meat of the story, Ron's arc is the bones.

While I wait for the right inspiration for that, I'm working on something lower stakes. I've started on my urban sci-fantasy/horror monster hunter story, currently tentatively called Particle Decay, which I am on chapter 2 of. I am also managing to psych myself out about the quality of that, but in theory, it's supposed to be just for fun. I don't think I'll be putting that through the heavy editing cycle that Reburial sees, at least. As long as this one is both scary and entertaining, that'll have to be enough. So far though, audience reception (read: my esteemed beta reader) has been very positive.

[norrizzandpia]

a little explanation as to why i havent been on here and when i may be back -

first and foremost, i cannot thank everybody enough for how welcoming and supportive you all have been when it comes to my journey here on this app. i never anticipated this growth nor this kind of recognition when i transitioned from wattpad to tumblr. i have loved every minute and the ability to craft my writing, something i love so dearly, without fear of judgement. i know i keep coming on here and saying how much i miss all of you, i do, but i also keep failing to let you all know of why im not as active as i used to be.

truthfully, as bittersweet as it is, im just so busy. but also, i feel as though formula one writing is not something that excites me as much as it did before. when im writing for the requests in my inbox or the ideas in my head, i fill in all the characters with what i think you guys would like. that being lando norris, oscar piastri, etc. i miss being able to meet a new character, craft everything in a story from bottom to top.

i feel like my days of being a formula one blog solely are over, unfortunately. i want to expand things, dabble in other genres or other interests of mine.

this is not to say i wont talk about formula one, of course i will. i still love the sport and the rivalries, the emotions and intricacies of it all. but, i love other things too and i want to devote the little time i have to those things.

if youve read till this point, i assume youve been a follower of mine for some time. if not, then im dead wrong lmao. but, if you have been following me for sometime, know that i see every comment and reblog. i see all the kind words and pleas for part two’s.

and i adore all of them. i cherish all of them.

ill stay on here, but i wont be as active… and when i am, i cant guarantee it will be formula one. therefore, ill be changing up my profile in a few days or so (thats a very loose timeframe) that better fits the (anticipated) broad blog i plan to establish.

i’m sorry for disappearing for so long and promising fics that never came but i hope you all stick with me <3

kisses,

reese

[electraslight]

i always hate when i see people make posts on tumblr saying 'i hate it when people say they dont like the like button, blah blah insert funnypost about how you like seeing cute hearts or whatever' like artists and creatives on tumblr havent been struggling to get any sort of interaction or have any fun with this site for a while because no one reblogs anything or even sends asks. like i know youre trying to be silly but likes really are causing the downfall of interaction on the site. a lot of you guys are artists, and i bet you remember getting a lot of asks and interaction a year or two ago, even when you werent actively pandering to fandom interests (i know some of you do this now, i see you, i feel you, that's not healthy because it doesnt work either), and now most people's like to reblog ratio is crazy small. look at any art post, and you can see ratios like 17 to 100, 5 to 150, etc etc. and of course no asks, at least not from people who arent telling you to tag 'food warning' or tell you youre a horrible human being for shipping a one year age gap or whatever. and i get a lot of the point of those posts is that you shouldnt be upset that youre getting more likes than reblogs, because you should be happy that anyone likes your art enough to show you they like it, but i think an artist's urge to grow isn't as clout related as these people assume. its wanting more people to see your work, to interact with it. to feel something from it, and the dry well of interaction has made a lot of people move away from the site, because tumblr interactions always felt so personal and so community driven, and now there's no interaction besides harassment. it's not a sin to want your art to be seen, and it's not 'clout goblin behavior' to want members of your community to interact with you and your work. 'likes are interaction too' doesnt matter, because no one gets anything from the interaction besides number go up, which you may find cute and funny, but cute and funny didnt help me meet my best friends, come up with new concepts, have my art feel wanted. Interaction did. And this site has no algorithm, so reblog things you like, type everything you can think of in the tags, comment, send inane asks, or a lot of your favorite artists, creatives, even mutuals just blogging, wont hang around for long

[joycondrip]

Been a few days, here's an unspoken but VERY important Tumblr tip for migrants I havent seen empasized enough:

If you see some cool art/creative work offsite you didn't make but wanna have on your blog, beit a funny drawing, someone's cosplay or craft work, a piece of writing, etc. take a few moments to check and see if the original artist/creator is on tumblr and has uploaded it here already, then reblog that post.

Avoid reuploading others' content youself if there's a chance its been posted originally on here first, and REALLY avoid reuploading things that aren't yours without any credit to who originally made it.

We all get the same amount of access to the same tags. Dozens of reposts of the same unsourced meme or artwork is what turns this site into the kinda unbearable content slog you get on other platforms, and actively detracts from boosting the users who make that thing you think is cool to begin with. If you have something to say or add, you write it on the original post.

[partywithoutsmiling]

do you have favourites aus or fics within the fandom?

Hello!

When it comes to AUs I am naturally more biased towards my own XD I don't have all the corners of Tumblr explored, so all my favourites are ones in the general sense (as in, I don't know their original creator)

I always like the ones where John Dory comes back to take care for Branch; another fun one is when it explores a different brother being captured by Velvet and Veneer (or even Poppy); Branch getting adopted by a different tribe is another fun one too!

I've seen AUs like Brotherhood!AU, Borrower!AU and Cult!Branch AU thrown around in the Trolls tag, but to be honest I had troubles finding more details in one coherent post, and all of them seem rather... dark? XD Tbh I am not really a fan of AUs where the Brozone bros come up as a villains or villain-adjacent pff

I definitelly have some fic favourites rn, though I read so many and several I didn't even bookmarked- but I will share the ones I like the most! (Some fics, while having a good idea and trying their best are kinda lacking in the execution, so I don't include those)

All of them are on AO3, so, in no particular order:,

No Strings Attached by Spritzy (Completed) Spritzy is fairly active Trolls fics writer, and I'd consider them a good one, so you will see their name again XD This fic is more a collection of oneshots, about whatever honestly; it's a mix of mostly World Tour related stuff

Fluffy Love by Spritzy (Completed) Again, sort of collection of oneshots, but hardcore Broppy XD The premise being that the Pop Trolls act more... wild? And have both fur, paws and tails (something I really enjoy myself pf) Spritzy seems to be adding to this fic sometimes, as it strikes their fancy, so it's always a pleasant surprise to see it pop up in my updated bookmarks!

Elapse by Dulltoned (Completed) A tiny fic that is about the Brozone brothers trying to coexist together and heal from their breakup XD it goes with various levels of success, and Branch is very much not coping pff

It Runs In The Family by Localamblogus (Completed) In addition to Floyd, Branch gets captured by Velvet and Veneer as well (JD at first tried to come up with ways to solve Floyd's capture on his own and Velvet got too tired of waiting and thus tried to lure in another brother with a fake letter) Looking for Branch, JD finally arrives in Pop Village- naturally, Poppy enlists herself to help, and is not impressed by the elder Brozone brothers as the adventure goes on XD

You Are Half Of Me Now by Localamblogus (Completed) Now THIS fic is probably my top favourite XD Set during the time where Creek betrayed Poppy and the rest of the Snack Pack, an attempt at escape fails spectacularly, causing Chef to notice Branch's lack of colours; now sepparated from the rest, even after the other trolls escape with Bridget's help, Poppy is determined to leave no troll behind. Includes fledgling Groppy/Broppy feels, and Cooper is Poppy's little adopted brother and the sibling feels are so real (A+ honestly), and Creek gets what he deserves XD Can't recommend this one enough.

Eldest and Youngest by TheMiraculousMat (Main Fic Completed) A collection, a classic 'JD returns to care for Branch'; a good execution of the concept and entertaining read, though I am now reading another fic (ongoing) that is able to execute this AU even better XD Still, I do recommend reading this one!

Clocks (Home Where I Wanted to Go) by Espionages (Incomplete) Another 'Branch Gets Captured' fic, but this time it's just poor him all alone in Velvet and Veneer's grasp; naturally, Poppy gets very concerned- and when a letter adressed to a Troll named 'Floyd' arrives, she makes it her business to find the recipient- and in the process finds out where Branch has gone. The fic itself sits on 17 chapters out of 18, and havent been updated for a month XD a shame, but here's hoping the final chapter will eventually get posted, cant do nothing but cross our fingers!

Breathe Again by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Incomplete) Possibly the only Human AU that you will see on this list (as I am not that big of a fan of those- it's hard for me to read a 'mundane' retelling with the characters, as they seem to lose most of their magical whimsy when people do that) but this is perhaps one AU that I am very invested into (it does help the writer is really excellent, and you will see more of their work on this list as well) The premise is that JD had been kicked out of the house by his parents when he was 18, and fought hard and legal battle to get his brothers in his custody. It is more complicated than that naturally, but this is the start, and the family feels are real- especially with baby Branch, who JD had no idea existed until a moment ago XD It currently sits at 6 chapters out of planned 8, and is being a part of a series, so hopefully more content for this AU will be coming!

I'm Still Here by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Main Fics Complete) A chunky 4-part fic series, where JD returns to get baby Branch after a brief stint in the Neverglades, and then takes him into the wilderness with him, figuring he can keep him more safe than if he stayed in the Troll Tree. Of course, tragedy strucks, and suddenly older and grey Branch appears in the new Troll Village, without his brother. I will leave it at that, but it's basically retelling of the Troll series with this little twist in narrative!

Smoke and Starlight by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Complete) Branch still deals with that nasty little voice in his head that is convinced all his brothers will leave him, but that doesn't stop him about inquiring about his parents, and JD is his best bet. This fic explores more about the brothers relationships and more about John Dory and his life in the past 20 years- it is very Brozone friendly fic and the family feels are of the charts, I definitelly recommend!

I'll Never Fall, Unless it's You I'm Falling For by Dinoo_Saur (Complete?) A series of oneshots, at this time only two of them, about fledgling Groppy/Broppy. I assume the writer will add to it eventually, once they feel inspired, but even those two that are here are good read!

Shattered Pieces by Icedarsha (Incomplete) Aftermath of TBT and the brothers are *baaad* at this whole brother thing XD really kinda fumbling all around, but we love them for it. The fic currently sits at 15 chapters, and haven't been updated since April 20th 2024, so we will see where the writer plans to take us

Everything Stays (Right Where You Left It) by Venusperia (Incomplete) Poor Poppy has been taken by Velvet and Veneer and she is NOT having a good time at all; in the meantime, Branch returns to his manic grey self, as he is forced to realize that he might have to try and find his brothers as the only way to shatter a diamond is Perfect Family Harmony- and sets out to do so, with Barb as his best buddy for the ride (and perhaps his handler, as Branch is just a trigger away from jumping his brothers' throats) This fic currently sits at 15 chapters, last updated April 22nd 2024- I feel kinda impatient for this one as Poppy is really having a shitty time, to the point she doesnt even fight to keep her optimism up, and Branch is just spiralling

I'll see you when I fall asleep by Idontsleepidaydream (Complete?) Series of mostly oneshots, set after events of TBT, explorations of Brozone relationship and feels, mostly focused on JD honestly, who has more issues that a rabid cat in a bag

Your Grace by Mrct (Incomplete) A series about how JD returned to the Troll Tree to care for Baby Branch, and when the Trolls made their triumphant escape, King Peppy perished in the effort. John, instinctivelly tucking little baby Poppy in his hair in the chaos of it all, suddenly gets stuck as acting regent, much to his confusion, unease and resignation XD It currently on has a 3-chapter long fic but I assume the writer plans to expand on it, which is why I recommend the series whole

I Wanna Find A Home by Isabel3710 (Incomplete) Grey little Branch decided that he is too much of a burden among the trolls of his own Tribe, and figures it is best to leave and find somewhere else to be a less of a bother. His feet leads him to the Lonesome Flats into the arms of young Delta Dawn, who cannot on good conscience allow this poor little trolling to struggle, even though he is probably a Pop Troll (And honestly, seeing the mess he is, all the better he left them and found the Country Tribe in her opinion) Currently sitting at 3 chapters, last updated at April 30th 2024, I cant honestly wait to see Branch find the family he deserves <3

Weightless by Sunfox (Incomplete) When Chef attacks, both Poppy and Peppy gets captured along with the Snack Pack, leaving the Pop Tribe leaderless. With contingency plans in motions, they decide to evacuate, but Sky Toronto knows he has to let Branch knows what happened- either in effort to convince him to come along or to know to stay put in his bunker. Branch instead decided he cannot on good conscience let any trolls get eaten and sets out to save Poppy and the rest from certain doom. Currently sitting at 2 out of 3 chapters planned, and last updated only few days ago, it is honestly more of a 'snack' than a full sized fic XD But I enjoy the exploration of the events

Birdie by TurnedWorm (Incomplete) Clay managed to happed upon grey Branch just as the Trolls were escaping through the tunnels and now reunited, off with the (future) Putt Putt trolls they go; fic that explores the very early struggles of survival of the sepparated tribe, while Clay tries to be the best guardian for Branch as well. Currently sitting at 3 chapters and sadly last updated in march, but hope is still holding that the writer will continue it XD

Torrent by ASamwich (Incomplete) Grey Branch is having a very bad time; nearly drowning in his bunker when storm caused his seals to break through and flood his lower levels, he is then found by concerned Poppy in the midst of battling a serious infection. With his bunker pretty much inhabitable right now and him being ill, he is forced to accept help and dragged kicking and screaming into friendship XD Currently sitting at 5 chapters and last updated at the beginning of April, it is one of those 'I hope it will get continued eventually' fics pff

Field of Forgetmenots by EmpressGeek (Incomplete) A planned series probably spanning multiple fic (the first one sitting at 4 chapters and complete), it explores a sudden growing sibling relationship between Grey Branch and Keith, a little oddball trolling who seems to be fitting badly among his peers. Very sweet with hint of trauma on Branch's part, and I am at the edge of my seat, waiting for more XD

Dereliction by Jellfish (Incomplete) This is, in my opinion, THE fic about John Dory returning to take care for Branch (After Rosiepuff's death and after the escape from the Troll Tree) Thinking he will find a happy little trolling, JD instead finds a little malnourished neglected scrappy thing, and is not only horrified and angry, but also terribly guilty about ever leaving. Currently sitting at 36 chapters and updated fairly regularly, I really cannot recommend this one enough!

Rewinding our Fate by Trollsbuzz (Incomplete) Perhaps the only time travel fic written with some style and quality that makes it readable XD It is rushing through the Broppy rather fast in my opinion, and some things feel a bit OOC, buuuut it's nothing major and it is enjoyable read! Currently sitting at 41 chapters and being updated fairly regularly, so here's hoping it will continue so!

Now, the remaining 3 Fanfic recommendations are all Anonymous and Incomplete (Sadly seems the authors didn't want to be associated with writing for Trolls franchise but oh well)

A Litte Winter Miracle Grey Branch suddenly and to his horror finds abandoned egg in the snow, and overcome with protective urges is unable to just pass it along to anyone else. Reconnecting with Kismet, he is slowly settling into his sudden parent role (in secret from most other Trolls, including Poppy and the Snack Pack). Adding to bit of feral behaviour from Branch, it makes for a very easy read- currently sitting at 24 chapters and last updated at April 26th, it is one I am really hoping that will continue XD

I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home Kid Grey Branch got accidentally mistaken for a rock tribe trolling by teenage Barb, and hauled of to the angler buses before anyone could even blink XD With a nice portrayal of autistic Branch, it's one of THE 'accidental sibling acquisitions', but Barb can't complain as she got the awesomest little brother out of the deal. Currently sitting at 14 chapters and last updated at April 24th, it gives me some hope it will continue XD

Stuck With You Instead of the whole Velvet and Veneer plotline, we get Cashmere, who strives to be a more of a Country Pop singing sensation- and John Dory and Delta Dawn happens to be her unfortunate victims. Featuring miserable John Dory who, after 20 years, doesnt hold much hopes that anyone would even care he is gone, and rather furious Delta Dawn who can't believe she got stuck with a Pop Troll and is determined to escape. Do I sense a future romance brewing...? (I sure hope so!) Currently at 3 chapters and last updated on May 1st, I am fairly optimistic this one is ongoing!

So those are my recommendations! Hopefully I did not mess up the links but you can always search for them manually XD

[adaptacy]

It’s the anon with the Yearbook!Reader. Honestly surprised that was pumped out so fast with such quality, I was giggling when I read it ngl. Anyways, I am here to put forth another request for you to choose to do.

Got pretty boy Leland first.

Thinking about Leland and his S/O just relaxing in bed. Soft kisses, nice lil cuddles, some of that fluffy shi. My main point to this was called Leland pretty boy and just like, praising him. Give him all that TLC, babes deserves it.

(Could make it angst/comfort with Leland being insecure about scars he has after the Sawyer family incident, but just praising him for no reason is valid as hell)

It’d be chill if I sent several requests at the same time, yeah? I dont wanna fill up your request box, but I love your writing (Leland especially) and just have so many ideas at times. I also didn’t expect my request to be answered same day, usually takes a while, I’m willing to wait a week or two yknow.

-Kuhuahua

im- i- ik i havent been active on tumblr (ive been rping tcsm on discord <3) but i heard 1 song and it made me think of this request and then i rly wanted to write it SO here we go!

TW: aaaaaaangst with extra angst on the side.

Song recs: When You Gonna Run - Alpha Rev

He never talked about them. You understood why. Honestly, you doubted that he even spoke to his therapist about them. It's been four years. Even now, he still flinches when they're grazed, he whispers out quiet, "Not there, sweetheart," his voice tainted with a somber desperation, genuine hurt. You weren't sure if the pain was physical or emotional. Maybe both.

Four years and he still got teary-eyed if you asked about them, or referenced the incident at all. You'd learned not to, even if you did wish he would open up to you. For the first year that you were dating him you'd just assumed that he would talk about them when he was ready. But then the year came to an end. And so did the second one. And now, at 29 months with him, you'd stopped wishing. Gotten used to the shrugs and the soft sighs, the disdain in his gaze when you inquired about it.

So you didn't bring it up. But you knew he thought about it. Knew he felt it. Not talking about it was easy enough, after a while. But being close with him was hard. Physically close, that is. Every brush of your hand in the wrong spot, or a kiss on the wrong hand, touching your forehead a little to hard against the slit in his eyebrow-

29 months, and you still felt like shit for being unable to remember every single one of his scars. Every single placement- the big ones you could remember. But the small ones spanning the rest of his body, snips of horrors on his arms and the dots of regret on his torso, were impossible to map out.

He sat, watching the movie, next to you, one of his knees bent up to his chest while the other leg hung off of the couch, his chin propped up with one hand, his elbow resting on the cushioned arm of the loveseat, his other arm outstretched next to him, where his hand intertwined with yours.

The ones on his hands weren't bad. There were three on this one, tiny marks that you were surprised hadn't healed. You'd overheard the reason why; the second time you'd joined him at one of his doctor's appointments they'd mentioned him overworking himself, reopening the wounds. You wondered if they still hurt when he worked out.

Without thinking much of it, you scooted closer to him, only a few inches, and you snuck under his arm so that it hung off of your shoulder, though you refrained from leaning against him. He didn't react aside from a small squeeze of your hand. You lifted that hand and pushed a kiss to the back of it, earning his attention.

You didn't meet his eye. You didn't want to see the distant, aching hazel behind the kindness he usually showed. Didn't want to see the microscopic frown that tugged at his lips, you didn't want to see his chest rise and fall with another one of his dejected sighs. You just wanted to kiss him.

So you did, starting at the back of his hand and moving up, your mouth brushing against his arm just under another scar, your eyes closing. This time, it was you who sighed, and you took a gamble, moving your lips up and kissing the coarse patch of skin you'd avoided.

"Baby," he muttered, his voice tainted with the same sadness it held any time he was forced upon a reminder of his past. You didn't reply, nor did you stop, moving up to a different scar, this one closer to his shoulder, repeating the same for this one. A kiss, soft and lingering, before you pulled your head up and finally leaned it against his side.

"I think they're pretty."

There wasn't any reason you'd said it. Just that you'd felt it. And the words came to you, so you gifted them. Leland was quiet for a few minutes. His jaw rested against your temple, both of your heads turned towards the tv, though neither of you were really watching.

Whether he was insecure of them, or if they were still tender, or if they reminded him of the past, or, hell, all of it- they didn't change the way you saw him. Didn't change the way you loved him. You were with him to be with him, every part of him that you could manage to get a hold of. It was okay that he kept some things locked away.

You didn't understand, but you knew why. It was hard. Too difficult for him to remain cheerful when he thought about it. Too difficult to be perfect. Too difficult to feel like he was doing the right thing.

"I know you're hurt."

You couldn't stop yourself.

"I know I'm not ever gonna understand like you do. I know we're always gonna be distant. I know you don't like thinking about it."

But...

"I still love you. It was in the past. And I love you for your past, Lee. And I love you for our future, too. And- I love you right now, in the present."

He stayed quiet, though he leaned against your head a little more, his arm bringing you a bit closer.

"I think they're handsome. And... they're you, so I love them. I love every part of you. Even the scary parts, or the sad parts, or the parts you think are ugly. I love all of you."

At last, you looked up at him, just as he brought a hand to his cheek, wiping away a stray tear. His lip trembled as he looked down at you, but they trembled into a smile, a sad one, like a kicked puppy, but a smile nonetheless. You raised a hand too, cupping his jaw and brushing your thumb under his eye, which pulled a broken chuckle from him, and he sniffled, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

"Please, don't be," he replied, his voice cracking as he leaned into your palm, fighting to hold back. You scooted back, and he followed you, laying his head against your shoulder, a soft whine escaping him as he cried.

"I'm always gonna be here. I'm not gonna run. Not gonna leave you for your past. I- I just love you, Leland." Your arms wrapped around his neck as you held him close, resting your chin on his head as he cried, and you gently hushed him, doing your best to reassure.

He didn't often cry. Not to you. Sometimes, on his own time, or when you were pretending to be asleep, you could hear him. But he didn't want to push any of his weight onto you. Didn't want to burden you.

"I can shoulder some of it, y'know. Just cause you can lift a lot of weight doesn't mean you need to do it alone," you hummed, your words lighthearted despite being completely genuine. "I'm right here. I'm here to do it together. Here to be here- here to be yours."

You didn't expect a reply, but he gave one, weak and pained, snagging on his tears, an "I love you," short but sweet. You hugged him closer, leaning down to kiss another scar on the top of his back, and he didn't ask you not to, he didn't flinch, he just let it happen.

"You're perfect, Lee. Scars and all."

[echoesofadream]

is adhd medicine (concerta) supposed to make me feel like this

-all the ways which when it comes to function, I am more, and all the ways I am not I am less

- i do things super fast, everything is a hurry .I get things done but a most of them are bullshit like tumblr blogging or checking every internet chronic kpop fan fomo outlet there is .

-I cant do something that isnt top priority in the world because I cant relax enough to do that. its better to sit on the floor and be in prepared mode instead of reading or painting or anything like that

-i have never been on speed but I would assume it feels like this based of the name

-I feel like I can do anything! except read a single page of text of course. thats literally impossible

-everything is on fire I need to put the fire out. right now. first though. where is it

-cant do anything that doesnt give instant gratification (what I mean by adhd medicine induced adhd)

-did I mention that Im quick. and super active. wait the h in adhd stands for hyperactivity....this is wrong...I do this and this and this and this and this and STOP. IM STUCK:

-incredibly hard to move out of situation when im stuck in it. like i could be doing ANYTHING and im like. I cant stop. doing this. whatever it is. I cant move on. this is a familiar feeling that everyone has including me before medicine but now it's like. so much worse. you know the feeling when you cant get out of bed. or youre in the couch and too lazy to get ready for bed. this is like that but dream (nightmares when you cant move) level of lethargy. its like im sitting at the kitchen table. I just got home. but then it's been three hours. and Im still sitting there doing whatever im doing. it's like. so bad. im like. I need to shower. okay this has been sort of an obstacle for me sometimes. but now it's like. shower. I need to shower. hours pass. I havent showered. maybe I just wont shower today. this dysfunction is making me realize how functional I can be in some areas of daily life actually.

-^above would be good if I was working a busy job when things happened all at once. and I had to get things done and not get distracted. but im literally an unemployed uni dropout. im trying to increase my level of focus. im trying to learn how to be in the present and breathe and be less anxious. this medicine is doing the absolute opposite for me. I started this medication because I want to be able to study but how is this supposed to help be in any area in life except like working at the ER or if my job is just answering emails and that kind of thing. all I can do right now is make posts, talk during movies (never been a me thing im very serious about silence during film watching), have a stomach ache and too fast heartbeat, actually work on a novel instead of creating a document that I abandon after the first and only time I write on it, be anxious, eat hot chip and lie

Help??`????????

[alienaiver]

Behind the scenes

the lovely @dira333 tagged me in this and its sooo fun!! the questions are so amazing and id like to give it my best with some in depth answers, since learning these facts about one of my favorite writers here was so fun !!!!! behind the scenes of writing is so good to share!!

Started writing: i think ive always been writing. i remember when we used to have one computer for the entire family in the early 00's and had little screentime, i set alarms to 4-5am (with no concept of what that Would Do To Me emotionally without sleep LMAO) JUST to get some time to write in peace. my first fanfictions i published was on a homemade forum page with a friend when i was 11!

Started blogging: ive had my tumblr since 2009-ish where ive been a rp'er over multiple times and published d gray man and no. 6 fanfictions in 2011-12ish. i was also active on livejournal before i found fanfiction.net !! but this specific blog was made in may 2021!!! the reader inserts came then :3

Followers: i actually JUST hit 300 two days ago!!! which is very exciting. i dont always look at the number, since it doesnt necessarily correlate with engangement, but its fun to see the uptick!!

Communication: i genuinely love love LOVE the social part of social media, and communications so important to me. theres nothing better than reblogs with comments you can bounce off of, asks, dm's and all that! sadly, my disability makes it so hard for me to have continuous contact and im 90% of the time the one to drop the ball when it comes to replying :(( thats why its extra important to me/special with the mutuals who keeps reaching out and dont have the same social expectations about replying. even if im unable to reply the day that i receive the message, it still brings great joy seeing the notif!

Likes: i dont mind them! generally its not that important to me whether or not my followers interact a lot. a like still means the world to me. of course a reblog is much better and engages so much more (+ boosts me!!), but theyre good for my soul, too!

Requests: i get very few requests :( i think i like them, but i havent gotten enough to actually get a feel on whether or not it kills my writing spirit? generally i get very excited to be able to deliver something and it gets me up from the bed to write, but i sometimes fear im not providing what they wanted! its anxiety-inducing in some ways, but i love a good little writing challenge !!

Writing: i loove love love love writing for hours at a time, hyperfixating on it. sadly, my cat snøfle is Very Jealous of both my laptop and pc. giving him a substitution sadly doesnt help</3 so my writing is often limited to specific times of day, and when he gets tired of my keyboard clack-clack-clacking, its time to put on some one piece while he naps on me! i wish i could write more works or just scenes on my phone, but it hurts my hands So Much, so i only write small one shots when im heavily inspired but snøfles in A Mood!!

genre wise im a fluffy type. maybe some hurt/comfort but always leaning towards comfort. id like to write more disability fics to spread both awareness and visibility, but i sometimes struggle with putting in my own disabilities and not make them too personal or too detailed for others to not relate. its an overthinking problem, so i often procrastinate writing them., bcos i fear itll be too niche! but i always get positive feedback (excpet for that one time with inked coffee lmao) so im not sure whats holding me back!!!

i always listen to music when i write, and it differs a lot. when i wrote the star and the earth i listened to a lot of medieval-inspired music, and made a specific playlist for that. but when i write on my modern au's or canon compliant bnha/haikyuu, anything goes!

i love putting in 'boring' every day stuff into my fics, or small scenes that dont necessarily advance the plot but just gives a feel of the characters.

speaking of snøfle ^ i am no longer allowed to write for the evening.... so ill start some apothecary diaries and enjoy a cold soda on this hot and humid evening !!! mwuah mwuah if u read this far thank you, and i love you. i love all of you <3333

no pressure tags as always but would love to hear the answers and get to know u all! @cup-of-fluff @true-deru @mirandabarma @illuminiscentboba @tetsuskei @threadbaresweater @krystalgaia @petriquors @ktsumu @moonbeamwritings @ohtokki

[wisteria-wanderlust]

Hi!! Little bit of a late part 2 to my other post but to ppl who recently followed from that post or anyone who’s seeing this post now- Hello!

You can call me whatever u want tbh, I’m having a little bit of a naming crisis atm so maybe Wander would work? I’m 17, she/her (atm), and I’m a huge fan of MCD & Mystreet!! I have been on tumblr for a while but on a different blog for a different fandom, and the last time I was rlly active in the Aphmau fandom was Wattpad in 2018 haha-

I make OCs (mainly Minecraft skins! Send me an ask if u have a character you’d like me to make a skin for, can’t promise that I will but it’s free & I need the practice!) & occasionally write fanfiction! I’m currently working on a new Aphmau universe AU revolving around one of my OCs involving some of the little lore bits I feel aren’t brought up enough lol. That post will come soon!!

Also- If i havent dmed you but youd like to chat, feel free to dm me! I’m a little nervous & hate initiating conversations but I’m pretty chill past that point!

I used to do literate MCD rps and I’m sorta interested in doing it again but for now I’m just gonna get used to being in the fandom again haha

[animalinvestigator]

hey! i havent had tumblr for a while but ive been thinking about cathys eldest sister who wants to run away when she turns 18. is she equipped at all to deal with the outside world? all of the kids seem pretty isolated. ty!

hello anonymous -- first of all let me just say, i am really touched that you remembered my story, and even a pretty minor character in it, and remained so interested that you sent this ask even after being away. really it means a lot more to me than i could ever articulate, i was so stunned and happy that you would. i appreciate it a lot. i really hope someday i can make the story real so that you'll be able to have all these answers without tumblr asks, LOL.

which made me think about -- how mysterious do i want to be to make sure everything still stays fresh if i ever do write it , lol. i thought for a bit about this, and i think i can still say plenty of things without giving away any plot beats or information i havent already shared. espescially about the character youre inquiring on ! so: about bridget.

even though bridget is a side character whose arc plays out largely incidentally in the background of the story, she's definitely the supporting cast member i've thought about most, because she shares a lot in common with catherine, but her motivation to escape is from a completely different perspective, and her approach is entirely different as well because of that.... i'm not sure how much i've talked about catherine's family's history, but they haven't always lived where they live, and they haven't always been as isolated as they are ; bridget is one of the few kids in the family who is old enough to remember a time when she was marginally less secluded from the world, where she was permitted to have relationships among a slightly broader community, instead of having no one and nothing outside of the nuclear family. this, combined with the amount of time she's spent living the way that she does, and the increased responsibility /mistreatment she incurred by being born first, leads her to a feeling that is shared between only her and cathy among her siblings, that something is deeply, implacably wrong with the only world she's ever known, and an abstract need to "run away" as a result.

UNLIKE cathy, bridget has the perspective to know that there does exist a world outside(though she's never been part of it) that she can run away to. because of this, and due to the repertoire she has built up over the years by adequately obeying her parents and avoiding their scrutiny, and her general grew-up-too-fast big sister maturity, she has the increased freedom and general skills she needs to actually enact an escape plan . to get to the meat of your question, though, that definitely does not translate exactly to being able to survive well and easily when she leaves. basically the only thing bridget has ever been is a homemaker, essentially; her days are commanded by the needs of her siblings and the demands of her parents, and there's little room for developing any sense of agency outside of her role as fill-in mother to the younger children in the family. i can't imagine there's anything she even wants to do when she gets out -- she wouldn't have any idea how to want things in the first place -- she has been actively discouraged from learning administrative adult tasks even as mundane as shopping for herself or driving a car out of a desire to keep her subserviant, and she has no safe grown-ups in her life to teach her these skills. she has no education outside of her family's """"homeschooling"""", and when she leaves, she will have no access to her legal paperwork, and no funds or resources whatsoever. which is all to say: bridget knows how to take care of herself and take care of her siblings and take care of her household, but she doesn't know how to be a human being, and she has none of the prerequesites that society would expect from her. even as the /least/ isolated member of the household, she's been completely cut off from any ability to develop as a person, form external relationships, and live without relying on her parents, because that's how catherine's parents maintain their sense of control.

so, the long and short of it is this: the reason that catherine's family is the way it is (and ESPESCIALLY in the case of bridget, whose obedience they rely upon to keep the household running smoothly) is that catherine's parents want to raise adult children, who are simultaneously competent enough to personally benefit the parents in keeping up appearances and in putting in less work themselves, and also so completley reliant on them ideologically, financially, and emotionally that they have no hope of surviving in the outside world. thta's the situation bridget is in when she decides to escape.

that being said, i think she's alright... much like cathy, i try to keep my own ideas for "what happens to this character" private, because i would really like to leave it at "there's no right answer". the main emotion i'm writing this story from is a feeling of lack of closure -- a story where nothing good happens, everyone is worse off at the end, and the main character is left all alone with her memories, wondering for the rest of her life if any of it even happened, not knowing if anything turned out okay, and having to carve out a place to live in that painful ambiguity... that being said, my hope for my own characters is that they'll have a happy ending in the audience's head.. and i feel like i can strongly picture bridget living in a big city somewhere very far away long after catherine's story ends, coming home after work to a tiny , mostly empty apartment, her own space, and thinking for the first time that she can finally breathe.

thank you so much again for your inquiry <3