#I haven’t read the prequel book

[cecenyss]

The thing I don’t like about the whole “ugh good always wins” complaint in the school for good and evil is that if evil did win, the readers would just call them good. History is written by the victors, and all that; it’s kind of what happened with the Schoolmaster

[robertsbarbie]

the more i read of this book the more is cements in my mind that this was never meant to be a snow apologist book people just don’t have any reading comprehension anymore

[detentiontrack]

I fear I am becoming very autistic about the hunger games again

[byler-is-endgame7]

the best part of tbosas was lucky flickerman

[thewingedwolf]

i watched everything i needed to in order to watch the new episode of the mandolorian and

man, they really just gave two whole episodes of boba fett’s solo series to din, grogu, and Uncanny Valley Luke Skywalker huh, and it wasn’t even a good two episodes, they just made Ming Na Wen and Temuera Morrison give up two episodes of their lil mayoral race slash planetary drug war tv show so The Mandalorian could remind them who pays the goddamn bills around here (it’s the puppet, the cute green puppet pays the bills) and shove like an entire season’s worth of emotional arc and plot into two tacked on episodes of someone else’s show. genius.

[actualhumancryptid]

Ok yeah the book Mockingjay was just so much better than this. She says, a decade late lol

[squishymoth]

The fact we only got the Annihilation movie instead of a Southern Reach tv show will always bring me sadness.

[tragedygf]

i love being an epub and pdf downloader not paying for books feels too good like it just puts a smile on my face but i always forget how crazy it is to read a book in physical form like thats what life is about. in the end

[katelfiredemon]

List of some movies that I enjoy and the books they’re based on which often have different vibes than the movie but both are equally good in different ways

Howl’s Moving Castle: The book is titled the same but has very different vibes (movie is more whimsical fantasy while book feels more like realistic fantasy if that makes sense) and also has two companion books in which Howl and Sophie make appearances! Book by Dianna Wynne Jones

Kiki’s Delivery Service: The book is titled the same but again very different vibes (Movie Kiki deals with depression and losing your passion and Book Kiki is cute little witch dealing with people’s problems in cute little witch ways) Book by Eiko Kadono

Stardust: Book titled the same but different vibes (movie is intense and life threatening adventures, book is more fun travel adventures and much slower paced) Book by Neil Gaiman

The Secret of Moonacre: The book is titled The Little White Horse (similar to Stardust the book is a lot slower paced and less life threatening adventures but just as fun and interesting as well as a lot of characters have more depth to them than in the movie) Book by Elizabeth Goudge

The Last Unicorn: Book has same name (from what I remember the book is almost word for word exactly like the movie) Book by Peter S Beagle

Ella Enchanted: Book has the same name (ok this one is a little more controversial. In my opinion the book has a lot more depth and is a lot more interesting in the world building and characters, and the movie is a horrible adaptation. But if you look at the movie as a completely separate thing it is still enjoyable and has fun songs and is a classic from my childhood) Book by Gail Carson Levine

Mary and the Witch’s Flower: The book is titled The Little Broomstick (I have yet to read it but I have just checked it out so I will make sure to update this once I’ve read it! I expect the book will probably have better world building as the movie was fun but didn’t have time to go into depth and the mechanics of the witch’s world) Book by Mary Stewart

Earwig and the Witch: Book titled the same (I also have yet to read this book but have just checked it out and will update later. I think it’ll probably be similar to what I expect with the Little Broomstick where it will probably show a more developed world) Book by Dianna Wynne Jones

Ronja the Robber’s Daughter: Technically not a movie but a tv series. Book has the same name (I also haven’t read it but have just checked it out and will update but I think the show was very well done story wise though the animation wasn’t my favorite and I expect that it probably followed the book fairly closely) Book by Astrid Lindgren

Avalon High: Book has same name and similar plot but characters are switched around (this is actually one where I like the movie a lot better. I feel like the book is extremely predictable and does exactly what you expect to happen while the movie switches it up in a fun way that I feel like also makes sense and isn’t just doing it for the shock factor) Book by Meg Cabot

Tales From Earthsea: One book from the Earthsea Cycle has the same name (I’ve only read the first two books and so technically haven’t gotten to the book that the movie has been adapted from but it’s on my list and I will update once I eventually get to it. So essentially I’ve read the prequels that lead up to the events in the movie and I’ve heard the movie is vaguely different but has similar themes and plot points to the book) Books by Ursula K Le Guin

That’s all I can think of for now but if you have any suggestions to add let me know and I’ll see if I’ve watched the movie and read the books and if so I’ll make an addition to this post!

[callsign-rogueone]

together

platonic! Xaden x gn!reader x Garrick words: 1.3k 🏷: prequel flashback that contains mild fourth wing and iron flame spoilers, 17-18 y/o Xaden and Garrick and gender neutral reader who was their childhood friend (this could be angel, but I purposely left it vague) hurt/comfort, reader dressing Xaden's wounds and brief mentions of blood, tears, fluffy ending (who doesn’t love a good old fashioned friendship cuddle/nap pile?)

The knock on the door of the room you’ve been assigned pulls your focus away from the book in your hands that you haven’t really been reading, just looking at the pages absentmindedly; you can’t bring yourself to enjoy it, not with everything else going on around you.

You know it’s Xaden from the rhythm -- he’s using the secret knock you and Garrick had come up with as children; the same basic pattern, ending with one tap for him, two for Garrick, three for you, and four for Bodhi; your age order.

“Come in,” you call.

You aren’t expecting him to look so dejected, his shoulders slumped and head hung, looking utterly defeated, shirt off, held limply in his hand. “Talk to me,” you say gently, immediately concerned.

“I’d do it myself, but I can’t see them,” he says quietly, turning to show you the bloody cuts covering his back.

Your jaw drops. There has to be…

“One hundred and seven,” he answers before you can ask. One for each of you. They’d turned a respected tradition for marriage and parenthood into a punishment, carving into his skin over and over, deep enough to make sure it would scar.

“Oh, Xay…” you breathe, stunned.

“I cut a deal. We’re safe,” he responds. “All of us. But we’ll be forced into lives of service to the crown as dragon riders.”

You don’t fully process the terms, too busy digging around for a first aid kit. There’s one in nearly every room of this house, a military protocol that his father had taken quite seriously.

He sits on the edge of the bed and hunches forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lowering his head as you work in silence, cleaning and disinfecting all of the cuts as delicately as you can, but he still flinches away from the sting of the alcohol against his raw skin.

“I’m almost done,” you promise.

He doesn’t respond. You don’t expect him to; he’s never been particularly chatty, but you know there’s a storm brewing behind those dark eyes right now, but you’ll be there for him when it starts.

You coax him to sit up a bit so you can wrap the gauze, wrapping him in it from shoulder to waist to cover all of the cuts, and helping him put his shirt back on.

The pain of getting his arms through the sleeves is the last straw -- he finally starts to cry.

You know hugging him would just cause him more pain, and you can’t stroke his back, not wanting to put any pressure on the torn skin, so you settle for petting his hair, smoothing your fingers through the dark strands and gently rubbing the back of his neck to relax him.

“C’mere,” you coax, leaning back against the headboard and setting a pillow in your lap.

With a soft sound of discomfort, he shifts his weight down, resting his head on your lap and wrapping his arms around your waist, clinging to you tightly. His body shakes with sobs as his fingers dig into your skin, and you feel like your heart has been ripped in two.

You‘ve only seen Xaden cry once before, when you were ten, and his mother’s marriage contract expired, giving her the right to leave Tyrrendor and leave Xaden’s life forever, disappearing without a trace. You’d held him like this then, too, let him sob into the collar of your shirt and spent the rest of that day sitting with him and Garrick in near-silence, trying not to cry over the loss yourselves, needing to be strong for your friend.

His mother had always been kind to the three of you. She’d loved Xaden dearly, and appeared to tolerate Fen, with no obvious signs that she wanted to leave, but nonetheless, she’d taken the chance and ran with it, literally. It remained unclear if Xaden had gotten to say goodbye — he likely hadn’t, given the extent of his distress, probably hearing the news from his father before he ran to find the pair of you.

You realize now that it might not have been her decision, that Fen might have asked her to leave. But you’ll never know for sure — he, along with your parents, is lost to you forever.

You don’t tell him it’s okay, because it isn’t, but you need to say something, to acknowledge his pain and the sacrifice he’d just made for you and all of your friends, for people neither of you have even met.

“I know it hurts, X,” you soothe, stroking a hand through his dark locks as he continues to sniffle quietly. “I’m so sorry they made you do that. I’m sorry for everything. You didn't deserve any of it. None of this was your fault."

The door opens with a soft creak, Garrick stepping inside. His eyes widen at the sight of Xaden still trembling, clinging to you and crying, which is disturbing enough in itself, without the open first aid kit on the nightstand next to you and the pile of bloody cotton balls that you’d used to clean his wounds.

“Uallach,” you whisper. Responsibility.

Garrick puts it together quickly enough — Xaden was forced to take the traditional cuts for all of you. He sits beside you both on the arm of the couch, quiet. “I’m so sorry, Xay,” he says softly, brushing a hand over the other boy’s shoulder, careful not to nudge the bandages. 

Xaden adjusts his hold on you, reaching out with one arm — the one bearing the same relic you’re all stuck with now, that smoky black pattern that covers the skin — wincing at the way the motion tugs the cuts on his back. He takes Garrick’s hand in his, holding it silently, a gesture with multiple meanings; a bid for comfort, wanting to have his best friends close, but also a reminder that the three of you are in this together, and an apology; in his deal with the general to save your lives, he’d been forced to agree to all one hundred and seven of you enrolling in Basgiath war college as dragon riders — a death sentence of its own.

“We’ll all be okay,” Garrick promises softly. “We’ll heal, and we’ll adapt, and get through it all, together.”

Xaden’s tears have dried, leaving him with a headache and that hollow feeling you get after a thorough cry. He feels heavier against you, a sign that he’s drifting toward sleep. Good. Rest will help him heal, and give him a break from this exhaustion.

Garrick takes a pillow from the other side of the bed, motioning for you to sit up a little. You move incredibly carefully, not wanting to disturb Xaden in his delicate state, but thankfully he doesn’t seem bothered by it, too worn out to notice or care as Garrick places the pillow behind your back to make you more comfortable.

“How are you feeling?” he asks quietly. 

“Tired,” you answer. 

“We could all use some sleep,” he concedes, kicking off his boots and shrugging off his jacket, cuddling up against the both of you.

You hum in agreement, fighting a yawn. You haven’t been able to rest much this week, constantly working to take care of the younger children, and the sleep you did get has been plagued by nightmares of the days prior — you’re exhausted. 

You hope Xaden’s dreams will be kind to him — he looks peaceful, still breathing steadily. 

“Get some rest,” Garrick says softly. “Tomorrow will be a new day, and we can start figuring all of this out then.”

You let your eyes drift shut, leaning your head against his muscled shoulder. You’re all going to be sore when you wake up from sleeping like this, bar Xaden, who looks perfectly comfortable where he’s curled up between you like an overgrown puppy.

Garrick is right. The three of you will get through this, together.

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Sweet Treat

daemon x stepdaughter!reader prequel (other part)

A/N: this can be read before or after the other part

TW: smut, fingering, oral (f receiving), spanking, kinda brat taming 

word count: 1,108 words

You do have limits to how much you tease your stepfather… usually, but recently you haven’t been getting nearly enough attention. You walk around the house with no bra under your crop tops and no shorts under your skirts but he hardly spares you a glance. Maybe that's why you walk down the stairs that night in a nightgown that would definitely be classified as lingerie. The material is sheer everywhere except your most private areas and you’ve paired it with cute fuzzy white socks. You walk into the kitchen and see him sitting in his armchair in the living room with a glass of red wine in his left hand and some book about Old Valyria in his right. He doesn’t even look up as you strut by. You huff a little.

“Do we have any ice cream?” That gets him to look at you. You get no visible reaction to how you’re dressed except the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Bit late for that isn’t it, darling?” His eyes give you a once over.

“Fine, don't tell me.” You roll your eyes at him.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, little girl.” He’s reading his book again. You don’t know how he even saw the action.

You brush it off and walk over to the freezer. You could crouch to open it but you don’t, choosing to bend over instead. The silk of your nightgown rides up your thighs and over your ass. You can’t tell if he’s watching, but he is. You wish you could see the look of shock on his face when he realizes that you aren’t wearing any panties. He watches you closely as you rummage through the freezer, his eyes drinking up the sight of your most intimate area on perfect display. It would be so easy for him to just take you now but he keeps his restraint.

“Daddy, I can’t find the ice cream.”

Bullshit. He thinks to himself and also, since when do you call him daddy? He hates how it makes his pants tighten.

“It’s in there.” He knows he shouldn’t go over there.

“Help me find it.” You whine petulantly. 

Fuck it. He thinks and saunters over to you. He stands behind you as you keep pretending to look. His finger trails up your bare thigh and gives your butt a light squeeze before placing his hands on your hips and pulling you into his crotch. He then bends over you and grabs the ice cream right out of the freezer.

“In plain sight, princess.” 

“Oops. I guess I missed it.” You begin to stand as he places the tub on the counter but his large hand on your upper back stops you. “What-” He cuts you off.

“You know this nightgown is very skimpy for such a young girl.” He plays with the silk as he holds you firmly in place.

“I’m an adult.” You blush intensely at him feeling you up.

“Hardly.” He folds the hem up so he can see more. “I’ve seen more threads on a spider’s web. And no panties? You’ve been quite the naughty little thing.” He pulls your legs apart so he can get a better view of your bare cunt. His fingers run up and down, caressing your inner thigh. “Is this all for daddy’s attention?” 

“Why would I want your attention? You’re old.” You manage to spit out at him.

“Oh how you wound me.” He says condescendingly. “If i’m so old then I definitely have experience with little brats who like to show off.”

“I’m not a brat.” You protest and he chuckles.

“But you are. You’re a naughty, attention-seeking brat who likes flashing her bare cunt to her stepfather.” He pushes down on your back a little harder, forcing you to bend over more. “I know just what a spoiled girl like you needs.”

“W-What?” You can’t decide if you’re more nervous or aroused.

“A nice little spanking from her daddy.” He doesn’t give you a chance to protest before you feel the first smack.

“Ah!” You gasp and the second smack is harder. “Daddy, it hurts!” You cry out as he continues to swat your ass. Your skin begins to redden under his palm.

“Stop whining. You deserve this.” You get another two harsh swats before he begins to rub your punished flesh. “My naughty girl.” His fingers tease around before they slide between your folds. “Oh you liked it when I spanked you. I’ve never felt a pussy this wet.” He teases and you whimper. “You want a little reward, baby?”

“Y-Yes… please.” You breathe out and he slips a finger in, curling it to hit the spot. Your hands grip the handle of the freezer for support as he pumps his fingers in and out of you.

“Stand up straight and turn around. I want a taste.” You’re quick to obey him as he kneels in front of you. “Hold your nighty up, princess.” You grab the hem and hold it up around your waist. He grips your thighs with his big hands and spreads your legs open, before pressing a gentle, teasing kiss to your inner thigh. You can’t explain how good you feel as he licks a strip up your folds. It feels even better when he groans at the taste of you. He eats you like it’s his last meal, like your arousal tastes better than ambrosia and nectar combined. Your hand reaches down to grip his hair. He looks like a god on his knees for his goddess.

“Daemon.” You moan his name, whispering it again and again like a mantra. He wants to be annoyed that you didn’t call him daddy but his name sounds so perfect when it falls from your sweet, soft lips. You squeal lightly as he nips at your clit, your hold on his hair tightening and you can swear that you feel him smirk against you. He brings his fingers up to help him, using them to tease your rough spot inside while his tongue works at your clit. He feels you tighten around him as you reach your peak, squirming as you whimper his name once more. He uses his fingers to fuck you through your high before pulling them out and licking them clean.

“My good girl.” He praises as he rises to his feet. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. He desperately wants to fuck you right now but his sweet little girl looks so dazed. He’ll leave that for tomorrow.

taglist (comment to be added): @valeskafics @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies

[burn-before-reading]

blue is the colour of your eyes

joost klein x artist! reader

The overwhelming need to paint him. just fluff and rambling and being a nervous mess.

now has a prequel! read here

word count: 2.3k

a/n: supposed to be short blurb but it got away from me soooo anyway i haven’t tried to write anything in a hot second but Joost is inspiringggg so enjoy. Definitely wanna come back to this idea later possibly who knows. i don’t proofread anything btw so good luck

warnings: none except awkwardness, google translate Dutch, and a titanic reference.

RPF BELOW. PLEASE SKIP IF UNCOMFORTABLE. DONT REPOST TO OTHER SOCIAL MEDIAS OKAY PLS AND THANK YOU

You can’t seem to stop staring at him today. Two hours of putting pencil to paper trying to come up with literally ANY other idea and now your left with a pages full of Joost doodles.

He, of course, has no clue. drawing on his ipad on the other side of the couch. a movie playing in the background as the two of your got engrossed in your own work. who knows what he was doodling.

You were supposed to be brainstorming ideas for a painting for a group show coming up. The theme was vague and open ended. Love, in every sense of the word. Platonic, romantic, the secret third kind you didn’t even wanna think about right now.

You shouldn’t be thinking about Love and staring at Joost. You two were friends. He just sees you as a friend. Purely platonic.

Turning the next page over you give yourself a fresh start and start working on a couple thumbnails for possible paintings. You start scribbling a figure in the center. moving quickly to the background you add scribbles of flowers and leaves. making a short list to the side of plants to study later: Daisies, Sage, tulips.

Satisfied enough with the first thumbnail you scribble a few more in different poses. hands folded in their lap, resting on a table, holding a cigarette….wait.

you go back to the last sketch and notice you added a bit more details than intended. chunky glasses and a sharp haircut. you look back up at your accidental muse. He is still engrossed in his own art, but you manage to catch his eye after a minute when he looks up from his work.

his eyes pierced into your soul in that moment and the painting flew together in your head. Splashes of yellow and orange contrasting with the green of the plants. And his eyes. bright blue.

Why are his eyes so blue…

“you good?” he asks.

you dont know how long you were staring at him before you submitted to your own subconscious desires. Pencil tapping repeatedly on your sketchbook you muster up the courage to ask,

“can I paint you?”

his mouth gaped open slightly as that wasn’t exactly what he was expecting. He straightens his posture and shifts slightly in his seat.

“like… now?”

“No not now.. I just keep getting stuck on this idea and,, can i?” you gesture to the space next to him and he shimmies over slightly to give you permission to move closer. Now sitting next to him, you lean your book over for him to see.

“I just keep thinking about this idea of someone in a boquet of flowers, or just surrounded by flowers, and I want it to feel warm. I would be looking off to the side, or maybe smoking, i don’t know yet, but around you I imagined some Tulips and maybe sage to contrast your hair and..” you stopped as you felt yourself rambling and you look up. Bright blue staring back at you, full attention, hanging on your every word.

Comforting, yet still intimidating. You feel yourself want to shrink back into your half of the couch. explaining your ideas and baring your soul to this creature next to you that stole your attention and won’t give it back. This Fae that you gave your name to and now your theirs. At his beck and call at 9am when he texts you to hang out all of a sudden, so you cancel your own plans. Fae with bright blue eyes. stupid blue eyes.

what shade of blue are they?

his face looked interested, but still confused and hesitant, so you start to backtrack.

“You don’t have to agree, it was just an idea I had..” your pencil nervously taps the edge of your paper again and you look down and away from his face.

tap tap tap tap tap tap

Joost grabs your hand to stop your nervous tick and you glance back at him.

“No i want to, but… do i have to be naked?” his question breaks the tension and you burst out laughing.

“No. what? No! why would you think that?” you ask. he laughs as well.

“Ive seen your other studies of people, I didn’t know if this was gonna be like that one scene in titanic or,”

“Titanic? no no, I just want it to be you. We can agree on an outfit later if you are down for it but I just want you to feel like yourself.” he smiled and from this close you could see and the beautiful little details of his face. crows feet, dimples, each individual eyelash. His perfect blue eyes.

———

the next week you met up again, but this time you had arranged your studio up so you could sketch and photograph your model as needed. You had gathered your other needed models, a bouquet or two of flowers you had spent the last few days over analysing and studying. pages and pages of flower studies to make sure you had all the right angles needed when it came to the final painting. This next step you were slightly dreading.

It much easier to draw something when its not starting straight back at you.

Joost showed up later that day wearing a white button up short sleeve shirt, a black tie, and his usual chunky frames. his hair not as neat as it usually was but styled to suit the overgrown mullet look he had been sporting lately. Yellow roots growing in. He had badgered you all week about what he needed to wear and even though you said you trusted his fashion choices to pick a suitable outfit he insisted on a guideline. So you gave him one.

“Well people usually get flowers on a date, right? so i dunno, what would you wear on a date?”

“ Have you gotten flowers on a date before?”

“well… no, but typically thats a thing sometimes. it seems nice.”

“… Is this a date?”

“…its a collaboration.”

You guided him over to the corner you had set up as the make shift backdrop for him to model in. An old love chair you thrifted years ago sitting on rolled out black paper for the backdrop. some flowers in a pile of the floor for you to mess with later.

He sits down on the chair as you gather your needed materials to sketch. larger pieces of paper, charcoal and an assortment of graphite, watercolour paints, and your camera for when he can’t sit still any longer.

“okay i think im all set. lemme know whenever you’re comfortable and we can start okay?”

“okay.. do I just stare at you or..” he fidgets with a ring on his finger.

“find something to focus on right behind me. and just try to sit naturally. I just want you to pose in a way that feels naturally.” you state and pick up a piece of charcoal and bring it up to the easel.

Posing came a little naturally to Joost. He had done plenty of photoshoots before but he felt 100% more nervous about this one. It was more personal, more intimate. He had never really watched you work before, fully in your element, and it was so fascinating to him. yet… boring. He wondered how rich people in the past could stand for so long to get their portrait done, it had been two minutes and he was dying of boredom. His only entertainment was stealing glances at you and the faint music in the background.

“Can I talk?” he asked, careful not to move he head as he glanced at you. he saw you nod in his peripheral vision.

“Yea that should be okay, Ill let you know if i need you to stop for a second.”

“So… do you have people model for you usually?”

“No not really. most times I paint from life outside or just have to look for references online. Ive drawn friends before, but never for a bug painting. This one needed to be more personal tho.”

“more personal? How-“

“Wait can you turn back?” He had moved his head towards you fully with that last question. throwing off the perfect angle you had for his hair. “Sorry I’ll answer in a second just tilt your head a little..” you gesture with your hands and he tries to go back into position, but its not the same. He is still looking at you, that perfect shade of blue haunting you, staring you down. you look at the first sketch you had and now it just feels boring. “Maybe lets try a different pose.” the pencil tapping starts again as you think.

“Sorry, did I mess it up?” he looks away from you and runs in hand through his hair, giving it a new look. It urks you how much can change in a person with just one moment. With one turn it feels like an entirely new image.

“You’re fine, I just want something more interesting. Maybe if your hands were… can I?” He nods and you walk over to analyse his pose at a closer distance. Wiping your hands on your pants to eliminate any charcoal and sweat, you carefully pose his arms to rest on the armrests. You step back, to view your work.

“You were saying, what is this for again?” he asks. You are too engrossed in your project at this point to feel embarrassed talking about it.

“A group show between me and some old college friends. Ive been struggling on something to pick for the theme and it finally came to me the other day.” You fidgit with his left arm, deciding if it should be resting under his chin or falling from the armrest into his lap. “I just want this to be perfect..”

“Whats the theme?” You look at his and feel your face grow a little hot with what the answer is.

“uhh,, flowers! thats what we’re missing!” you avoid the question by running to grab one the fresh boquetes you bought this morning.

“I think maybe if you just hold these then you can-“ you foots catches on a pencil that had fallen, sending you crashing down and into Joosts lap in the chair, where he catches your arms to help you regain balance.

“are you okay?” You are growing more frustrated by the second and you don’t want to look up at him.

“yea, fine. Just gimmie a second.” Your eyes stay down at his lap where the bouquet now laid in a shaken mess of petals and leaves. still usuable, but not your perfect vision like you wanted.

“Maybe you should take a break for a second?” he insists and stands up the switch places so now you sit in the chair, and he is hovering above you. “You are getting really worked up over this, are you okay?”

“yea yea, im fine.” you take a deep breath to try and regain yourself. Looking up, the blue is now inches from your face as he stares are you with worry. For some reason, in this moment, you just feel like bursting. “Its your eyes. I can’t focus with em.”

“what?”

“You’re always so distracting, you know that?”

“If im so distracting then why ask me to model?”

“Its just for the theme. Like i said it came to me the other day and i can’t let it go now.”

“ what can’t you let go?”

“I think I might be falling in love-“ you stop yourself as the words fall out, but the confession is already spoken. Your eyes fall to your lap as you can’t bare to look at him in the moment.

“Lieverd…” he bring a hand up to delicately grab your cheek and tilt your head up so you look at him again. With the two of you staring again you glance between his eyes and his mouth, and he seems to understand. “can I?” he asks and you rise out of the seat to meet him halfway.

Lips meeting and moving together as you bring one hand to his hair and the other grabbing at his shirt collar to bring him closer. His free hand pulls your waist in as your lips move in sync, each of you waiting for the other to break the moment.

You pull away first and are immediately met with your foe, blue staring you down but now feel softer. You pull your hands away slightly and wince at the damage you had done.

“Shit! Your shirt!” His looks to see smudges of charcoal staining the collar from where you grabbed it. He laughs and just shrugs.

“I kinda like it.” he replies and leans back in to kiss you again. You kiss back and lean into it before breaking again.

“As fun as this is, ai do really want to finish the sketch.” Joost laughs and nods, giving you space to get up and he sits down once again.

“Can I take you on a date after this?” he asks.

“mmm maybe,” you tease,” Ive never dated one of my models before.” you pick up the charcoal one more time and put a new piece of paper on your easel.

“Im more than just a model, right? Im your muse.” he smirks and gets into a dramatic pose that he is surely going to complain about holding for more than a minute. “Now, Lieverd, Teken mij als een van jouw Franse meisjes.”

You two did not get much more work done that day.

[justagirlwholikesadam]

The American: Welcome to Hogwarts

Remus Lupin x Fem! American! Reader

Prequel of The American: Welcome Back! -click to read

Summary: Entering their 5th year, Remus and his friends are told of a new student coming to Hogwarts. While dealing with problems of his own, Remus can't help but notice the new transfer student from America.

Warning: slow burn, bullying, issues of self esteem, suicidal thoughts, xenophobia against reader, name calling, the word mud blood is used a lot, very dark content.

A/N:I haven't read the books but I have seen the movies and read a shit ton of fanfic. I'm making stuff up as we go so my plot can work. There are some characters that I thought were real but where made up for fanfics. I hope people don't mind if i add them because i already wrote the chapter. I later found out while googling stuff abt The Marauders. I will be added them and other characters to my story with my own twist. With that being said, don't come for me if this character is doing this and that. Not sure how many chapters I'll be doing, really depends on the feedback. please read the tags before reading. Enjoy -L

Remus found himself staring at the tracks in front of him. His eyes studied the nails and the iron bars of the train tracks. He can hear the horns of the Hogwarts Express blasting indicating it’s near. It drowns out the sounds of the students and their families around him. He looks at the red and black train coming and Remus takes a step forward. 

Remus has thought of this a lot before, stepping in front of a train. Trains, buses and cars. Just one leap and it will be over. His fingers tighten over the straps of his bag over his shoulder as he thinks about it more. 

A quick death, what a wonderful relief. 

He hates having a full moon in the summer when he is away from Hogwarts. He didn’t have any of his friends during that time. They were off on vacation or doing activities with their families and Remus doesn’t have the heart to ask them to come over. His friends have done so much for him. He’s afraid of asking for too much and they will leave him for it. He doesn’t want to be alone. 

Remus takes another step forward getting a bit closer to the edge and as he looks ahead. His mouth slightly dropped open when he saw a man standing on the other side of the tracks staring back at him. The man stood there bloody, throat ripped open, slashes across his face and chest. Blood was gushing out from the man’s wound. He wore dark blue trousers and a white ripped collar shirt. The man lifted his hand towards Remus, reaching for him. With his finger, he pointed at Remus as blood dripped down from it. Remus feels the bile coming up his throat when the man try to open his mouth to speak. Blood came pouring out from his mouth and Remus stands there frozen in fear. Remus doesn't see a flash of red running towards him. 

“Remus!” He feels a force come at him making him take a step back from the edge of the platform. The train approaches, hiding him away from the bloody man. He felt Lily hug him and Remus shut his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a tight hug. He missed her so much this summer. He didn’t visited her like usual. He couldn’t. He was ashamed of himself. He tries to get rid of the sight of the man he just saw, he continues to hug her. Lily rubbed his back when Remus didn't pull right away. 

Lily Evans, was the first friend he made when he came to Hogwarts. She was the first to realize what he was and she was the first to not make him feel bad for being a werewolf. As times passed he was welcome into a group of three boys. They didn’t make him feel bad as well, they had even helped him by becoming animagus and stayed with him through his transformations.

“You haven’t written back to me all summer.” Lily said when they pulled away. The students around them started boarding into the train. 

“Forgive me, Lils. Rough summer is all.” Remus said as he grabbed his luggage by his feet along with Lily’s. She gave him a thanks and he just nodded. He wasn’t going to allow her to carry the heavy thing. 

Lily and Remus greeted the other students in their year as they walked to their usual compartment. Remus with ease placed the luggage on the top shelf as Lily sat down. Remus sat down with a huff beside her, next to the window, his favorite spot. Lily opened her beige shoulder bag and took out a brown lunch paper bag with the letter R written on it. 

“Mom, send you a snack.” Remus smiles as he grabs it from Lily. 

“She’s a saint.” Remus said as he opened it, taking a look inside. In separate plastic bags, he saw there were slices of green apples and a jam sandwich cut diagonally. There was even a small juice box. 

“Green apple, my favorite.” He comments. 

“Ugh, she likes you more than me.” Lily pulled out a bag of baby carrots instead of apples like him. Lily’s mom knew of Remus, he would visit Lily sometimes during break and the summer. Lily’s mom was always happy to see him and even called him a son at one point when he always offered to take out the trash or wash the dishes. Remus thought it was the least he could do since they had him over for dinners. Petunia wasn’t really fond of him, but he didn’t mind her. He ignored the names being aimed at him when he sat across from her during dinner. 

Remus chuckles at Lily then he takes the bag of apples out. “I’ll trade.” 

“You would really do that for me?” She asked him with a pout. 

“Hurry, before I change my mind!” Lily laughs and gives him the bag of baby carrots as she gets the bag of apples. 

Remus drops the baby carrots into his brown paper bag, saving them for later. He looked over at Lily when he noticed what she was holding out. He gives her a smile and grabs the slice of apple from her hand. 

Quickly putting it in his mouth,  he hummed at the sweetness of the apple as he chewed. Lily frowned and stopped mid-bite when she noticed Remus looking out the window. His eyes roaming quickly on the other side of the platform. 

“Looking for someone?” Lily asked and Remus looked over at her. He shook his head, telling her nobody. 

Lily is eating when Sirius and James come walking in. Remus rises up from his seat to greet his friends. Lily does the same. Remus helps Sirius with his luggage as James sits next to Lily by the door. Sirius sits across from Remus. 

He’s listening to Sirius ramble on about his summer, it was another horrid one. His mother had gone mad about tradition with the family. He was a disgrace for being a Gryffindor, but he was even more of a disgrace to his family when they found out Sirius doesn’t agree with the pureblood ideas. James and Lily are talking amongst themselves. Remus and Sirius just gave each a look, James was finally getting on Lily’s good side. 

Sirius hits Remus' shoes with his elbow that rested next to him. Remus had quite a growth spurt last year. He had his leg resting on the seat across from him.

“How was your summer, mate?! I sent you a letter, you know?” Sirius' cheeks grow pink and Remus notices it. 

“I’m sorry. I did receive it. I had a hard time answering back. Last moon was draining.” Sirius nods at him, understandingly. 

“Are you okay now?” He asks Remus. Sirius notices something odd with Remus when he doesn't answer right away. He didn’t like it one bit. Remus was usually cheerful whenever they came back to school. 

“Yes, Padfoot.” Remus answers as he leans his head against the window. Sirius decides to not push it and asks Remus about a book he was reading before summer break. He smiles when he sees Remus' whole demeanor change, Remus sat up and excitedly told him about it. The train lets out another sound and a few seconds later. The train began to move then after a few more conversations about Lily and James’ summer. One by one they started to doze off. 

Remus was sleeping with his head against the window. His body jiggled softly as the train kept on moving. He scratches his nose when he feels an itch in his sleep. Inhaling deeply, Remus’ eyes shot open when a scent hit him. The scent is new, it didn’t come from his friends. Remus felt a chill down his back, it was a strange feeling. He doesn’t know why he’s smelling it, the full moon has passed already. Why is the lycanthropy still residing in him?  Sitting up straight, he looks over at his friends. They are still sleeping, he wonders why Peter isn’t here. They have been taking the same spot in the train for five years now, so Peter couldn’t be lost in finding them. 

Remus felt his throat close up when the smell hit him again. He rose up from his seat, taking another sniff in the air.  He noticed the door was a bit open. He figured it was Sirius who usually forgets to latch the lock whenever coming back from the restroom. 

Remus decides to go to the bathroom and wash his face. He figured he was smelling things because he had a rough summer. He was barely sleeping at home. The nap on the train was the best sleep he had all summer. He shuts the door behind him then looks up and down the hall, it’s empty. The lights of the hallway were lit up, he saw most of the other people had pulled down the curtains for privacy as he walked to the restroom. Remus yawns as he walks inside the restroom and turns on the light. Rubbing his eyes he steps in front of the toilet to relieve himself. Letting out a small moan when finished urinating, he turns his head to the door. That fucking smell is there, he quickly walks to the door. He presses his forehead against it. Remus inhales the scent, it's on the wooden door. 

The scent of copper, the scent of a girl. 

Remus doesn’t realize at first but he breathes heavily, his forehead is pressed against the door as his right hand touches his chest and drops down to his lower stomach. He fist the sweater he wore on top of his uniform in his hand as he sniffs harder. When his fingers hits the zipper of his trouser, the urge to touch himself came over him. His eyes shot open and he quickly stepped away from the door. He stared at it, scared. This has never happened to him before. A scent that was making him horny, it was new to him. 

Remus knows this isn’t him, this has to be Moony. The wolf that resides in him. Moony should be gone by now but he isn’t. He leans against the wall of the bathroom and let's out a sigh. He shook his head as he looked down at his hands, he shut his eyes when he remembered how his hands looked with all that blood. He looks ahead at the mirror and whines when the background changes. He saw himself back again in the woods behind his house. 

“Stop it.” He hissed to himself as he looked away and started to push the button of the soap dispenser on the wall. 

Turning the hot water all the way up. He ignored the heat of the water as he washed his hands until it was pink and raw.  He kept telling himself, he had to scrub it away, wash the blood away. He looks ahead at the mirror and stares at himself. His eyes are staring at the new scar on his face. He hates his appearance, despises it. It’s just a constant reminder of what he is, a monster. His friends tell him differently but Remus knows he’s one. He truly is especially after what he did. 

Running his fingers through his hair, damping his sandy brown curls before turning off the light, he walks out of the bathroom. The hallway is still empty, he shuts the door and starts to walk back when he smells it again. His chest started to feel tight and he bit his bottom lip as he turned to face the other side of the hallway. 

He’s staring down the hall and he can smell it again. 

“Fuck.” He murmured when he saw that part of the train, usually students of House Slytherin, sits in. He steps forward carefully as he looks to the left. Most of the train compartments had the curtains drawn down, he stopped when one of the doors was slightly open. He guessed whoever was in there forgot to use the lock. 

‘Another Sirius.’ Remus tells himself as he looks inside. He sees a figure sleeping on the cushion seats, a leg hanging out. He frowns when he notices they wore jeans and sneakers. The person wasn't in uniform like them. Remus hears laughter further down the hall and quickly goes back. Last thing he wants to do is come face to face with a Slytherin. Making it back to his seat, he gently sat back down to not disturbed Lily who was leaning against James. He grabs the brown lunch bag Lily’s mom made for him. 

Remus quietly eats his sandwich as he stares out the window, watching the scenery. He never gets tired looking at the mountains and lakes as the train makes its way to Hogwarts. 

Shelley Mumps was the one who woke everyone the following morning. Remus had dozed off after eating his sandwich. He jumped out of his sleep when Shelley slid the door open with such force. 

“What happened?” James said in a sleepy voice as she shut the door and sat beside Sirius waking him up. 

“There's a transfer student. She's in our year.” Shelley said, looking at them. 

“Cool, can we go back to sleep?” Sirius said getting himself comfortable again against the wall. 

"She's American.” She added. Remus frowns. “They allow Americans in Hogwarts?” He questioned. 

“ Apparently because she’s here. Some of us saw her walking down the hallway. She was staring out the window. You should have seen the clothes she was wearing.” Shelley laughs and Remus looks away from her.

Lily just sighs at her friend. “What do you mean by that, Shelley?” 

“She had ripped holes in her jeans and her shoes looked dirty. She had this shirt with this ugly green army jacket. She looks homeless.”  Sirius was awake now and looked at Remus who kept quiet and stared out the window. 

“I'm sure, it wasn't that bad.” James said, clearing his throat as he sat up straight in his seat. 

“Oh please. The train is stopping soon. You’ll see her.” Shelley said before waving bye at them. 

“Tell me why you are still friends with her?” Remus asks softly, looking over at Lily.

“I have too, I share a dormitory with her.” Lily said, grabbing her bag as they felt the train stopped. 

They quickly got up and started to get their belongings. The students lined up and walked out the train. “Let's see if we can catch a glimpse of this girl.” Sirius tells Remus and James as Lily waved bye at them to find her other friends. 

Remus walked behind them as they walked to the waiting carriages. Leaving their trunks and luggage behind, they sat down. Remus looks around but has no luck in finding this ‘homeless girl.’ The carriages make it to the gates and they step down to walk towards the school, it was a five minute walk. 

“Peter!” James exclaimed and Remus looked over to see his friend walking towards them. 

“I missed the bloody train! My parents were furious. They had to drop me off.” Peter said with a sigh. Sirius and Remus shook their heads, Peter had a tendency of being late. They welcomed Peter with a hug.

“Did you hear the news?” Sirius asked. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Shelley gave me the full details on the new girl.” 

They walked together to the castle when they noticed a group of students standing by. 

“Oi!” James yells and a Ravenclaw boy, named Hems in their year, turns around. “What's going on?” 

“The American is with Hagrid.” Hems tells them as they get closer. Remus looked ahead to see. 

“Is she daft? What's she petting?” Remus hears another student ask. 

“Her name is-.” Someone said your name and Remus thinks it’s a nice name. He continues to look at you, trying to get a good look at your face. 

He can see Hagrid talking to you with a smile as you kept petting at the air but Remus can see the thestral you were petting. He could see its leathery wings flap for a second before circling around you making you giggle. Shelley was blowing your appearance out of proportion but it was exactly what he expected from a pureblood. He looks at you and he thinks your smile is pretty, that's what he noticed first about you. He looks at your clothes. You look casual. You look like a regular muggle, it reminded him of the outfit Sirius usually wears whenever going out to a muggle place. The green army jacket is a bit big on you. You wore a black shirt and blue ripped jeans. 

The thestral rubbed its head against your bookbag, you wore and Hagrid shooed the thestral away from you when it started to nibble on your bag making you laugh loudly. 

“What is she laughing at?” A student asked loudly. 

“You idiot, it's thestral.” Remus looks over and notices Severus with a group of Slytherins standing by. He was glaring at you as he answered. Remus noticed Hagrid leaning down to tell you something. You turn to face them and Remus sees your face for a second. Your eyes widened by the sight of them and quickly looked away before he could get a good look at you. 

“Two galleons, I’ll have her in bed by the end of the week.” Remus noticed an older student from House Ravenclaw speak out. Remus rolls his eyes when the group of students around him starts to snicker and begin to place their bets on you. He watches you walk away with Hagrid towards the school. 

“James? Sirius?” The guy said, looking over at them. 

“No, mate. I’m good.” James said before signaling his friends to keep walking. Remus doesn't want any part of it either. 

Sirius stops in mid step when one of them starts to laugh and yells out, “The American probably has diseases. You know they are sluts.” 

“15 galleons says she doesn't sleep with you.” Sirius said, making them stop laughing and look at him in disbelief at the amount of money he was placing. 

“You're on, Black.” 

Remus, James and Peter waited for Sirius to finish when he saw Severus and his friends walking away. James just glared at Severus and the long, dark haired boy did the same to James. 

“You really think she won't sleep with him?” Peter asked as they continued to make their way to the castle. 

“You have to be Shelley to sleep with them. I doubt she's like her.” Sirius said, shaking his head. 

Settling back down in Hogwarts was easy for Remus. He missed his bed and being around his friends. The atmosphere was different from back home. He wasn't alone, in Hogwarts he was surrounded by students, professors, and even ghosts. 

Getting ready for dinner, he spoke to Sirius about another book he got. Remus was fond of Sirius and even though they both came from completely different backgrounds. They were best friends. Sirius was the second person to figure out what he was. Remus had cried in front of him when he figured it out. Sirius didn't speak while Remus told him that he would understand if he didn't want to be friends anymore. Sirius just hugged him tightly. Hugged him until he calmed down. 

“You’re ridiculous. If you think, I'm going to stop being your best friend, mate.” Sirius spoke out after a few minutes. 

‘We’ll figure something out to help you. I promise.” 

Remus didn't believe it at first but when James and Peter figured it out he told them the truth. The three managed to become animagi behind his back and showed Remus when they accomplished it. He never felt so accepted before. They supported Remus during his transformations and mood swings when the full moon was near. They accompanied him in their animagi form to the Shrieking Shack then later carried him to Poppy Pomfrey. 

He was forever grateful for them. He really was so when he got too deep in his head and started thinking about dying and ending himself. He thinks of them. He thinks of Sirius, Peter, James and Lily. He thinks of his mom as well. 

He thinks about the time his mom would bath him when he was too hurt. She would feed him, dress him when he couldn’t move. His mother changed completely during the recent summer. She couldn’t look him in the eye and it broke him. His father who treated him differently already barely said a word. 

‘Oi!” Remus was deep in thought when James caught his attention. 

“You okay, Moony?” James said, walking towards him. They were in their dorm room, putting their stuff away when James saw Remus laying on the bed with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah, Prongs.” James nods and sits beside him on the bed. Remus pushes himself up and holds himself by the elbows. 

“You know I wrote to you this summer. Like four times.” James said softly as Peter and Sirius were in the bathroom freshening up to go to dinner. 

“I know. I just-.” Remus feels James' eyes on him. “I don't know.” Remus lied. 

“Everything okay at home?” James whispered in a concerned tone, he knew about his life at home. Remus nods as Peter and Sirius come out of the bathroom laughing about something. 

“Ready to eat?” Peter asked as they put on their robes. 

“Yes!” Remus said getting out of bed, he looked over his shoulder to meet James' gaze who was still sitting down and staring at him. He did not believe Remus for a second. James drops it because he knows Remus hates being the center of attention so he drops it for now and says yes to Peter. 

Remus finds himself looking for you at the great hall but he can’t. He keeps his head down and listens to James and Lily talking in front of them as Sirius is talking with Marlene. Peter is next to him, trying to ignore Shelly who was talking about her summer. He was more interested in what's for dinner. 

“Welcome Students! Back for another year with us. I do hope everyone had a good summer.” Remus sighs as he looks down at the empty plate in front of him. The headmaster Dumbledore makes a few announcements about classes and a new teacher who will be teaching D.A.D.A. 

“Lastly, it gives me great pleasure to introduce a new student that will be joining us,-.” Dumbledore announces your full name and Remus repeats it in his head. He remembers your smile. It was so genuine, no one smiled like that to thestrals. 

“She’s from America, boys and girls. She will be studying with us. I want everyone to give her a warm welcome.” Remus looked up from his plate and looked over at the doors of the hall when it opened. He saw you wearing their uniform on. You stood next to Hagrid who urged you to walk inside. 

Remus claps along with his friends as you walk to Dumbledore and McGonagall, who had the sorting hat ready for you. 

“She looks like she's going to throw up.” Remus hears a Slytherin ahead of him joke. While you walked up the steps and sat down on the stool, facing everyone. Your eyes were looking down when McGonagall placed the hat on your head. 

The sorting hat hums as it rests on top of your head. 

“I feel it, young one. Don't you?” Remus saw you looking over at Dumbledore with a frightened look. McGonagall nods at you, easing your worries. You look down at the ground once more and your hands clasped on top of your lap. 

“Difficult choice, indeed.” The hat says. 

“A fighter!” The sorting hat yells, making everyone whisper. 

 “A protector!” Remus noticed the look on Dumbledore's face. 

“Oh- my, that is-.”  The hall quieted down when the hat stopped in mid sentence. 

“I know now! I see it!” The sorting hat crackled loudly. 

 “Slytherin!” Remus saw you lift your face to look ahead and Remus thought you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. He took notes of your nose and lips. Your eyes and the way you looked so nervous made him feel bad. 

He looked away from you when the hall started to applause. McGonagall was kind enough to show you where the table was. You looked down at your uniform when you noticed the color had changed.  

He peeks between Lily and James and sees you picked the farthest empty seat from the table. He can see you take a deep breath as you look at the silverware in front of you when you sit down. 

Shelley is sniggering with an older student from Gryffindor who is sitting beside her. 

“What's so funny?” James asked. “She probably doesn't know what a fork is? Don't Americans eat with their hands?” The boy asked James. 

“That’s fucked up, lad.” Sirius says, eyeing him. 

“Look ahead, she's using them just fine.” Lily snaps before looking down to eat her food. Remus looks over and notices you have begun to eat as well. It was quiet after that, Remus ate and only looked over when he took a sip of his juice. They ignore the others who keep making jokes are your expense. They spoke about your hair and how you looked. Some thought you were hot while others thought you were ugly.

Sirius noticed how Remus was quiet. It was pretty normal for Remus to be quiet. Quiet Remus, who only speaks when spoken too but right now it was different. Sirius felt his best friend’s vibe completely off right then and there. 

Remus had different sides of him. He can be so quiet then be very cheerful and make jokes. Until the full moon comes, he becomes cranky and snappy. Sirius stabs his chicken with his fork as he looks at Remus. There’s a new scar on his face and Sirius doesn’t have the courage to ask him about it. Especially since he saw how Remus acted when asked why he hadn't responded to his letter. Something must have happened during the summer, Sirius thinks to himself. 

He noticed Remus looking over when he took a drink. He followed his gaze and landed on you. Sirius does a double take when he sees his younger brother Regulus walking towards you with his plate in his hands along with his cup. 

Regulus flashes you a smile. “Oh fuck!” A Gryffindor from the table whispered.

Regulus sits down across from you. “You ok?” Remus whispers when he sees it. 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be? He’s with his kind.” Sirius says to Remus but he doesn’t believe that Sirius can just be okay. Remus knows the complicated relationship that Sirius had with his younger brother. 

It was a few minutes later when Regulus and you stood up. Plates are empty and Remus watches as you pick up the empty plate. 

“What is she doing?” A boy from the Hufflepuff table behind them says catching their attention and the voices in the hall become quiet. 

“Do we have to wash it?” It was a simple question that you asked. Remus gets annoyed at the fact that you get laughed out by the Slytherin table when you ask Regulus. 

Regulus shoots them a glare and shakes his head at you before telling you that there was no need. You can leave your plate there and the elves will get it and clean it. 

“Elves?” You frowned, and your eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Like a Santa's elf?” Remus hasn’t heard the word Santa since he was a kid. 

Regulus tilts his head at you, he’s confused now. 

“She’s half blood then?” Remus hears the table start throwing ideas of what your blood is. 

“What the fuck is a Santa?” Sirius whispered to James then looked at Remus when James shrugged his shoulders. 

“Are  you sure that she’s in the right grade if she thinks Santa is real?” Someone asked loudly and people began to laugh. 

It had gotten to the point that the laughter behind Remus started to get to him. He didn’t find it funny at all that they were making fun of you. He wondered what did you know about magic, perhaps you didn’t know anything at all. His guess had to be that you were muggle born but he keeps it to himself because if he was right about you being a muggle born then you will have a difficult time, especially in house Slytherin.  

He knows what it feels like to be made fun of and he hates it. He gets bullied for his scar face. He gets bullied because he’s quiet. He gets bullied because he’s poor. 

He sees Regulus walking out with you from the great hall. He leaves a few minutes after saying he had a headache but he just didn’t want to hear the comments they were making. He decided to go to sleep early that night. 

He was glad he had a dreamless sleep. He didn’t dream about the man. It was morning and he saw you again walking with a younger student from your house to the great hall. Remus walks in with Peter and he sighs when he sees Shelly and Marlene there already, eating. He didn’t mind Marlene at all, she was kind and reminded him of the female version of Sirius. She was spunky and played quidditch with James and Sirius. 

“Morning, guys.” Remus greets them and sits down. While a Ravenclaw girl ahead of them rises up from her seat and runs to Shelley. 

“You won’t believe what I just heard!” The girl said to Shelley. 

“The American slept in the bathroom on her first night here. Her roommates are telling everyone. They heard her crying.” Shelley and the girl began to laugh. 

Marlene looks at the girls. “I don’t find that funny. She probably misses her home.” 

“Oh come on, Marlene.” Shelley said, waving her hand dismissing Marlene’s words. 

Before she can say anything James and Lily along with Sirius came in. “Morning.” They greeted their friends. 

“I’m not ready for classes.” James sighs as he sits down. 

“Guys, Penelope just told me that -.” Remus finally cracks and cuts her off when he slams his hand on the table loudly and looks over at her. 

“Would you shut up already? Enough making fun of the new girl.” He said and Shelley grows red from embarrassment of his sudden outburst. 

“You feel bad for nasty foreigners?” The Ravenclaw girl, Penelope asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I feel bad for anyone that has to deal with tossers like the both of you!” Remus said, looking at her and Shelley. He stood up from his seat ignoring James and Sirius calling out for him. He walks out the doors and goes back to his room. He paces around the room, coming to terms on what he just said to Shelly and the other girl. He felt bad for calling them that name but he just got so angry. 

How can people make fun of other people suffering, he asks himself. He had lost count on how many times he’s cried himself to sleep during his first year coming to Hogwarts. Being alone and afraid that someone will find out his wolf secret. He checks the clock on the nightstand and notices it's almost time for his first class. He grabs his books from his trunk and hopes he doesn’t see Shelley or the other girl.

He started to grow worried as he walked to class that Lily would be angry at him for calling her friend a wanker. He was surprised when Lily hugged him when they saw each other for the third class of the day. 

“I can’t believe her!” Lily told him when she unwrapped her arms from him. 

“Don’t tell anymore but sometimes I get homesick. I’m in tears in the tub.” She admits to him. 

“You know how I feel about bullies.” Remus tells her and she nods at him knowing all too well about bullies. She was a victim like him, she was bullied heavily in her first year for being a muggle-born and sometimes even now. 

When lunch began he was walking with Peter who didn’t say much about the incident and Remus was grateful for it. They talked about their class they had last period. As he walks in he sees you sitting with the same younger student. You were smiling and so was the kid. 

The kid had a book open in front of you and Remus smiles at your choice of writing utensil. You were using a pen instead of a quill and you were writing down on a regular notebook instead of parchment paper. 

The kid kept talking while you nodded and wrote frantically. 

Everything seems to be going well, Shelley had decided to eat with her friend, Penelope at the other table. James and Sirius came soon into the hall talking enthusiastically about quidditch. 

“Guys! Guys!” Remus flinched when a group of Hufflepuff students came beside him and stared ahead at the Slytherin table. 

Remus looks ahead as well to see what all the fuss is about. Lance, from house Ravenclaw is in his last year and everyone knows him for being a bully. He was pure-blooded so he thought everyone who wasn’t was beneath him. He usually picks on the muggle born and the half bloods from any house. Of course no one interfered because they didn’t want to get bullied as well. Lance’s blue eyes widen as he walks into the great hall and makes his way to the kid sitting across from you. 

“He’s such a twat for always picking on Ruben.” The Hufflepuff next to him tells the group. 

“Ruben is the kid?” Sirius asks and they all nod as Lance gets behind Ruben and pulls on his hair making him yelp. Remus has never seen someone's eyes grow hard so quickly. The smile you had on disappeared. The hall grows quiet when you stand up from your seat. 

“Get the fuck away from him.” It was not usual for Lance to have someone stand up to him. He was caught by surprise from your words. 

“What did you say?” Lance said with a disbelief chuckle. 

“Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Him.” The great hall is quiet and Remus noticed a few teachers had risen up from their seats when they noticed what was going on. 

“What’s going on here?” McGonagall had walked towards the table and stared at Lance then at you. 

“Nothing, Professor McGonagall. Just having a chat with my friend Ruben.” Lance said, taking a step back while still staring at you. 

Ruben was almost in tears by the whole thing. Professor McGonagall walks Lance back to his table. 

“She just placed a death mark on herself.” One of the Hufflepuff near Remus said, shaking his head. Lance was staring daggers at you and you kept your eyes on him showing no fear, just hate. You didn’t take your eyes away from him until he sat down and spoke with his friends. 

“You might just win your bet. She got balls.” James says, turning back around to Sirius who turned as well to continue on with his meal. 

“What bet?” Lily asked the boys and they got quiet real fast. James being whipped for Lily ratted them out and she shook her head, telling Sirius how horrible that is. 

“I betted that she won't sleep with anyone, Lily!” The redhead girl shook her head as Marlene copied her. Remus kept silent as he glanced over the table and saw you grabbing Ruben’s bag. You and the kid started to walk out of the great hall after collecting your things.  

He was surprised when he saw you walking inside the classroom. You were a few minutes late for charms class. The professor grabbed the slip from your hands and pointed at an empty seat in the back. Remus almost drops the quill in his hand as you pass him to sit on his row. Remus usually stayed in the back because he was tall. A Hufflepuff girl, Nancy sat in the middle between you and him.

In the corner of his eyes he noticed you had taken out the same book as before and a pen. 

The Charm professor called out your name as he walked towards you. The student laughed when he told you that there is no pen and notebooks allowed only quill and parchment paper. 

“I’m sorry. Mr. Robinson. I‘m still learning how to use the feather thing.” You told him, looking up at him. 

“First, it’s called a quill and you're a witch now so you better start learning fast how to use it. Second of all, it’s Professor Robinson. Things are different here, Miss.” 

“Yes, Professor Robinson.” Remus looks away by the tone of your voice. You sounded so defeated. Professor Robinson walks away and continues with his lesson. Nancy leans over to you when you grab the quill from your bag and the ink. 

“Hold it like this.” She whispered to you showing you how to handle your quill properly. 

Remus goes back to write his notes, he hoped you realize not everyone in this school were mean. There were some students who were kind. Throughout the class, his eyes would glance over Nancy to you. 

After class Remus walks to the Gryffindor common room. Making it inside, he heard chattering and looked over to see Lily and Mary Macdonald. 

“Hey, Remus!” Lily said, waving him to come over towards them. They were sitting on the couch by the fireplace. Remus sits on the other side as Mary hands him a box of chocolates they were eating. His eyes widened and they giggled at his expression. 

Lily chuckles when Remus is wiggling his fingers trying to decide which one to take. James and Sirius came with their Quidditch uniforms on. Lily frowned when she saw them walking towards them. 

“I thought you guys had practice?” Lily asked and Remus looked over at them with a frown when they didn’t say anything. The guys just looked at each other for a brief moment. 

“Oh fuck, Sirius have nothing to say. It must be bad.” Mary said, trying to lighten up the mood but James and Sirius didn’t say anything. They sat on the couch across from them instead. 

“They canceled practice.” James said and Lily glanced over at Remus. It had to be more, James would be in tears if practice was canceled. He took quidditch very seriously. 

“Why?” Remus asked, grabbing another chocolate from the box. Sirius takes a deep breath. 

“The word is going around that the new girl is muggle born.” 

‘Shit.’ Remus says to himself. He was right. 

“She didn't know what it meant, they asked her about her parents and she told them they weren’t wizards. Those snakes dragged her by the feet to the quidditch field and slimed her while chanting mud blood.” Sirius said. Lily and Mary dropped their mouths open in shock. Sirius and James glance at each other. They were famous for their pranks. Being slimed in the field was a good idea but they didn’t like how you began to cry and how confused you looked about the whole thing.

“Never seen Professor McGonagall look so mad before. She started yelling.” James said, leaning back on the couch crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Did you see the new girl?” Lily asked and James nodded. “Yeah, the other professors had to help her off the field.” 

“Blimey.” Remus mumbled as the door of the common room burst open and Shelly walked in laughing with a group of students. Remus rolls his eyes when he hears your name being whispered. This year was going to be rough, he tells himself while popping the piece of chocolate in his mouth.

[rosemarysage]

Hello everybody! I’m trying to compile all the information we got about Onyx storm so it's easier to find. So below I have written everything Rebecca has said at recent events that I think could be relevant to OS or the next books. I left out the stuff I didn’t think was relevant like the T.V. show and personal questions about Rebecca. The links are at the bottom. The first two are from an audio recording. Many thanks to Tumblr user Skyfallscotland for posting the audio. I haven’t been able to find recordings for the Perth show and some of the other dates from these so if you have any information from them please let me know and I can update the post. I intend to add the older interviews later but I wanted to get this one up because we got lots of juicy details from the panels.

Fourth wing and iron flame spoilers

Sydney panel 6/22/24 Saturday

She has deviated from the Synopsis she made for the series

She knows what the last scene of the series will be

We will see more of the world in OS and the following books. The map is representative of what Violet knows so it will expand as Violet learns more.

Jack Barlowe is around and serves a purpose. He likely won’t be a main character. Rebecca likes bad characters to have a reason for doing bad things. Jack has always wanted power.

The interviewer asked her not to do a redemption arc for Jack and Rebecca said “Noted”

Dain represents the love you thought you wanted when you were younger

When Dain says, “If you had just told me none of this would have happened” in the interrogation chamber he’s not just talking about the interrogation but also Liam’s death and everything else.

Violet is completely disconnected from her magic in the interrogation chamber. She can’t reach out to her dragons or Xaden. Rebecca said that Violet's mind summoned Liam because he was her protector.

The interrogation scene ending with Dain and Xaden was the driving point of the writing process. There is a scene in OS that elicits similar emotions and Rebecca said we aren’t going to like it

Q&A

Jack likely won’t have a romantic relationship. He’s also probably not “the real enemies to lovers arc”

Garrick's signet is in book three

A rider doesn’t necessarily have the same traits as their dragon's color, sometimes they have the opposite and need their dragon to counter them. Brennan is a tactician and needs unpredictably and Imogen is a wild card. The dragon rider bond is kind of like a marriage.

Her editor got her to add Andarna. She is there to balance Tairns' massive power.

Someone asked if we would hear more about the first six and Andarna and she said “Maybe” is a funny voice

Violet’s dad is not Malek.

Sgaeyl is pissed at Xaden and is not speaking to him at the moment. She also mentioned the bond between them.

Someone accidentally asked if Xaden dated the prince instead of Violet. After they figured that out she said, “I think you should read the third book”

Sydney panel 6/24/24 Monday

She deviated from the plan for OS concerning a character's death.

Jack is an example of the hunger for power and what happens when you aren’t selected for the power you think you deserve

She expected us to figure out the second signet. Her editor asked her if it needed another line to make it clear and she said no they would get it.

The Taylor songs that describe OS are Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me and So It Goes.

Someone asked,” Have you considered doing a prequel on the first six or how the empyrean came about or will this be revealed in further books?” and she skipped it

Melbourne 6/25/24

The interviewer asked, “Do we already have a reference to Onyx that will reveal the title's meaning to us” Rebecca passed

The interviewer asked if we would get another POV from Xaden or anyone else and Rebecca said that she has established a record of showing a little bit of what Xaden is thinking.

She that we have already learned Violet's second signet

The interview asked if Garrick would realize Imogen is into him and Rebecca asked what makes us think he doesn’t know

When asked if we would learn more about Father Sorrengails research about feathertails she said “Maybe” again in a funny voice

Onyx Storm is very Rep coded. She listened to So it Goes a lot while writing OS.

In the interrogation scene, she is cut off from her magic so her mind “pulls” someone who protected her

The interviewer asked if Xaden and Sgaeyl were still bonded and she said, “Next time on fourth wing”

She was asked if Xaden and Violet are endgame and she passed and then said “I write romances”

Her favorite thing about Violet in OS is that she has one goal and she doesn’t care what stands in her way.

Seattle March

Sgaeyl is pissed and not speaking to Xaden

Xaden won’t get more POVs until he quits keeping secrets. His problems with Sgaeyl will be explored externally. The interviewer said that Xaden keeps secrets about things other an Aretia and Rebecca said, “Naturally”. Violet is way better at keeping secrets in OS. She’s in her reputation era.

A lot of things were set up in Fourth Wing that didn’t come into effect in Iron Flame that will in the upcoming books.

We should expect about the same amount of Xaden’s POVs in future books, namely end chapters and bonus chapters.

Rebecca said, “There is a correlation between less and less dragons bonding  and more and more dragons saying what we are doing is wrong”

We will learn Violet’s father's name and more about him.

Xaden’s mom’s story will come up in later books.

The other three quadrants can drop out or change quadrants. Only the riders don’t allow this.

Miscellaneous

Rebecca said in an Instagram comment that she wrote a line referencing Xaden and the boys moving Violet’s armoire in OS.

Links

Sydney

https://www.tumblr.com/skyfallscotland/754271162361577472/it-took-me-far-too-long-to-realise-i-could-just

Melbourne 6/25

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8FrFupBTVgY&pp=ygUOcmViZWNjYSB5YXJyb3M%3D

Seattle March

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v0yTEZBtpVQ&t=6s&pp=ygUOcmViZWNjYSB5YXJyb3M%3D

[overnighttosunflowers]

ok now that a few more copies of the laudna book are out in the world I will say that I have read it and it is so, so, so, so, so wonderful and if you haven’t yet preordered it then doing so is the greatest gift you can get yourself. cassandra khaw outdid themself, and if you think you have already reached the maximum amount of laudna love a heart can hold, you will soon ascend to levels heretofore unknown. it is an outstanding media tie-in, an outstanding prequel, and an outstanding book with such care and love and craft in every line. it is truly, truly, truly that good.

[deanmarywinchester]

previous years: 2022, 2021 / list of worst sf/f/horror

the bangers were BANGING this year, I kept mentally readjusting my top 5 list every time I read something good so the honorable mentions are extremely honorable this year. I hope you read anything that sounds good from this list and tell me about it!

top 5:

chain gang all stars by nana kwame adjei-brenyah: when I say that this book is like the hunger games for adults, I’m not making a glib comparison between two books about fighting to the death, I’m saying that I haven’t felt so intensely about a book since I stayed up late to tear through the hunger games and sob about it when I was thirteen. this book is satire as real and devastating as I’ve ever read, with action scenes that feel like they’re being dripped directly into my hindbrain and a unique and believable love story. put it on hold at your library literally RIGHT now.

the actual star by monica byrne: about a post-climate catastrophe utopian society built around a religion started by a teenage girl in 2012 based on mayan traditions, and also about the teenage girl, and also about the maya. this book made me crazy because the future society felt real enough to touch, with its radical openness and collectivity solving problems that exist today but causing new ones that are totally novel and meaty and interesting to dig into. read it if you’re interested in different ways of being.

the spear cuts through water by simon jiménez: really, REALLY good, fresh, original epic fantasy. jimenez picks a few perspectives to stick to but hops fluidly into bystanders’ brains to give you their perspectives, so even background characters feel fleshed-out and no one’s pain is dismissed as a side effect of heroic battles or whatever. highly recommended if you like framing narratives and stories about stories, and like epic fantasy but wish it wasn’t mostly about finding acceptable enemies to slaughter with cool swords

the dispossessed by ursula k. le guin: I love how much this book is about hope as clear-eyed commitment to the boring and difficult work of a brighter and necessary future. sometimes the work of the glorious anarcho-communist revolution is leaving your university post and romantic partner for months at a time to dig irrigation ditches so nobody starves when there’s a drought. read this book for diplomatic conniving, a clash of values between a capitalist planet and its dissident moon, and hope.

imperial radch trilogy and its spinoffs by ann leckie: what if you were built to be a weapon of the empire, a serene sentient battleship with thousands of human bodies all containing your consciousness, and you lost all bodies but one and had to figure out how to be a person, singular and alone? what if you were a 19th century british military officer and you slept for a thousand years into the decline of the empire? what if you were grown in a vat to be a facsimile of human and then told off for eating all your siblings even though eating them was SO interesting? what then. leckie’s prose is incisive and funny, her unreliable narrators are wonderful, and her stories are intimate even though the backdrops are insanely huge. 👍.

honorable mentions:

house of leaves by mark z. danielewski: guys? anyone hearda this one? anyway. Something Is Wrong With This House horror with themes of storytelling and grief. recommending that you slam this book as fast as possible like I did so you can hold all its layers in your head at once.

the lathe of heaven by ursula k le guin: i thought I didn’t like ursula k le guin, and then I read this book, went OH and immediately devoured the hainish cycle. im so sorry miss ursula. this book about a hapless pacific northwesterner whose therapist is making him dream different realities into being is so sharp and sly and funny. themes of choices, ends and means.

he who drowned the world by shelley parker-chan: I liked the prequel to this addition to the radiant emperor duology. I LOVED this book. parker-chan has invented new and exciting modes of fucked-up codependency and im obsessed. historical light-fantasy with themes of ideals vs what it takes to reach them, gender, and regret.

babel by r. f. kuang: found the didacticism of this book annoying, but i really loved the concept of this novel and the way it slowly ratchets up the stakes. this novel is for people who want to smash the fun of the magic school genre against the reality of universities’ complicity in the imperial machine.

piranesi by susannah clarke: im late to this book but it’s such a weird little gem. peaceful yet unsettling. a man takes care of an endless house with an ocean inside it until he realizes the house is stealing his memories. themes of memory and devotion.

hell follows with us by andrew joseph white: I can only read YA these days if it’s a reread or if it’s genuinely good and really really strange. this is that. weird gory fantasy about a trans teen who escapes his militarized post-apocalyptic christian cult and finds himself turning into something Different. my only gripe is that he uses 2023-perfect language to describe transness and I think he should be inventing genders weve never even thought of. such is YA.

some desperate glory by emily tesch: a rolickin’ good space opera time with terrible women <3. a thriller about how the golden child of her isolated human-supremacist space station cult deprograms and the consequences of it. this feels like a grown-up SPOP until the theoretical physics gets involved. big fan

the library of mount char by scott hawkins: this book is harrow the ninth in suburbia until it becomes a more macabre version of the absurdity of the gomens apocalypse. God raises his children, sometimes brutally, to hone their powers in a neighborhood that mysteriously keeps out outsiders. came for the dysfunctional mess of the god-children and now I can never look at a grill the same way

runners up:

bunny by mona awad: books that make you WISH you were in mona awad’s MFA program where she must have been having a terrible time. the weird one out in an MFA program accepts overtures into the unbearable rich-girls’ clique to find out what they’re Up To. themes of aimlessness and the intersection of class with the art world

camp damascus by chuck tingle: have you ever wished that you were simply too autistic to be successfully demonically brainwashed into not having gay thoughts? horror-flavored thriller that was just fun

light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki: this author put a bunch of genres in a blender and came up with something fun and surprisingly cozy. an immortal woman must sell violinists’ souls to the devil in exchange for their fame, or he’ll drag her to damnation instead. there might be aliens and coffeeshop romance involved. definitely a blender.

the fragile threads of power by v. e. schwab: if you haven’t read a darker shade of magic and you like tightly paced high fantasy and historical fantasy elements, political intrigue, and pirates, read that first. if you have, there’s more now! lila bard are you free on thursday when I am free

the library of the dead & our lady of mysterious ailments by t. l. huchu: a teenage girl provides for her family in soft-apocalypse magic edinburgh with a job carrying messages from ghosts to their living relatives. an ongoing mystery series about the intrigues she uncovers among the dead.

severance by ling ma: this books is on the list of media that is the terror to me: it's about an apocalyptic disease that makes people reenact their routines mindlessly until they collapse. intimate apocalypse novel with themes of late capitalist malaise.

ocean’s echo by everina maxwell: i didn't really like winter's orbit because i'm just not a romance guy, but this second novel stands alone and the romance is more insane and less of the entire point of the novel. (also it's between essentially Discworld's Carrot and Moist Von Lipwig, which is. really something.) in the Space Military, a buttoned-up mind controller must pretend to bend a socialite with illegal mind-reading powers to his will. what if fake relationship but the relationship they have to fake is "brain linked master/servant pair."

the murderbot diaries by martha wells: novellas about a misanthropic security android who jailbroke itself in order to watch tv. the name "murderbot" is a joke but it very much did kill people <3 themes of paranoia and outsiderhood, corporate wrongdoing, repentance, and trust

black water sister by zen cho: zen cho is good at any kind of fantasy she writes, including this, her first modern fantasy novel. a closeted lesbian has to move in with her family in malaysia after college in the US, only to discover that her dead grandmother has some unfinished business involving a local goddess and a conniving real estate developer. themes of family, gender, and place.

the way inn by will wiles: a man who’s paid to pretend he’s other people to attend conferences in their place gets trapped in an endless Marriott. has the sharp humor of a colson whitehead corporate satire until it becomes more straightforwardly horror-flavored.