#I haven’t finished the season yet so I’ll have to come back to this

[greenwriterplaidbow]

Tragic Accident

AKA the events that lead to the Human Connection series

Logan Howlett x Reader with injury related memory loss

Word count: 2.5K 3.8K after revisions

Author’s note: I do in fact have more! (I would like to thank this person for your patience, I started this when you sent this in but left it half done because of finals). Still inspired by Pandapetals’ memory loss fic. This is what led to the accident and when Logan actually saw the wreckage of an accident (because I apparently can’t just be content with being happy!). It’s kind of from his perspective? Still written in second person though.

Warnings: Major angst, stupid argument, car wreck, drunk driver (not Logan or the reader), reader refered to as she/her and Logan’s wife

Everything started in your home office. It was the busy season for teachers: checking that you taught the whole curriculum; assigning and then grading final projects; parent-teacher meetings. That night you were up grading group projects that had been turned in early. It was midnight when Logan walked into the room. It was one of many late nights you had recently. The two of you tended to be night owls anyways but this many nights without more than 4 hours of consecutive sleep was starting to get to you both. It wasn’t obvious but you could see it in the small details of your relationship. The way there was less exchanged affection. The way you helped each other with little things less. The way the physical space between you emphasized the growing separation. Logan had been laying in bed before he entered the office. He walked in and put his hands on your shoulders, maybe a little less gently than he normally would have.

“Babyy, why haven’t you come to bed yet?” You brought your hand up and softly rubbed his.

“Sorry hon, I just want to get these done tonight. This is the last one.”

“It can’t wait until tomorrow?” You spun your chair around to face him.

“It could.. But if I finish them as they come in, I’ll be done before finals week so I can spend more time with you!”

“You could spend more time with me now if you just came to bed-”

“I know, I know. But these kids finished it early, they’re already on pins and needles waiting for an answer, I shouldn’t make them wait longer than I need to. And you should be asleep already anyways, this was the one night this week you can actually get to bed at a decent time.”

“Tried. It’s always harder without you.” You stood up and brushed a hand through his hair.

“Poor baby. It won’t be much longer. I’ll be there soon, I promise.”

“I’ll just stay in here with you then.”

He walked over to his own desk and sat down across from you, watching as you finished grading. It was 10 minutes before Logan spoke up again.

“You almost done?”

You sigh and run your hands through your hair.

“Nope, not quite. Go to bed, I’ll only be a little longer.”

“I.. Yeah alright.”

He shook his head then got up and walked out. His jaw was tense as he paused at the door like he was going to say something. Apparently he decided against it and closed the door on the way out with a sigh.

He lays in bed. Staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Logan had felt neglected before, just not usually by you. He was plenty used to being ignored or abandoned. It had happened before but this time was supposed to be different. You’d always been there before. You’d been through so much together. It was only now it felt like you were drifting away. You’re a busy person, he knows that. You’re always eager to help out in any way you can. From one-on-one training or tutoring with struggling students to filling in for a fellow teacher. You were always there for everyone else. But now it seemed to him that you were giving your time to anyone but him. It seemed like you were trying to avoid him. He thought back to the last few weeks. He’d twice tried to set up a date night with no success, the most recent attempt was the week prior.

He had caught you in between classes, preparing for the next lecture in an empty room.

“Heyy, I was thinking. It’s been a while: do you want to go out tonight?”

“I wish I could but I’m helping Jean tonight, some lab thing she’s trying to figure out. I’m honestly flattered she asked me-” You stopped yourself when you saw the look on his face, his eyes now avoiding yours as he pretended to study the ground. “I’m sorry Lo, I thought I told you on Monday.”

“No- it’s alright. I understand.. I’ll see you later though?”

“Yes. She said that she shouldn’t need me past 8 o’clock.”

You walked in the door at ten.

“Hey,” Logan said half heartedly from the couch as you came up the stairs. He didn’t know how late you’d be until you called at nine to tell him that things went well enough that Jean wanted to repeat the experiment to see if it was a fluke.

“Hey.. I’m sorry, I know I said I’d be home sooner. I’ll make it up to you.” You cupped his face and kissed the bridge of his nose. “We could go out this weekend?”

“No, I’m helping Scott fix his bike; and with Scott, that’ll be an all weekend project.”

“Next weekend then. We’ll find time. We always do.” Your tone was very matter-of-fact as you sat down next to him. He put an arm around your shoulders and you nuzzled into his chest as you leaned into him.

“Yeah. I know. I just hate feeling like I never see you anymore. I know you didn’t know that was going to happen but you could have waited to rerun everything on a different night..”

“Yeah.. I guess we’re just too popular” You said, trying to joke about the situation to relieve some of the tension between you. It worked for the time but Logan still didn’t feel good about it. He felt like you just pushed aside his feelings. Just laughing it off to avoid an actual conversation.

The thought brought him back to the present moment. He went back into the office, unsure of exactly how much time had passed since he left. He walked around to his side, sat at his desk and faced you. You looked up from what you were doing but he spoke before you could.

“It feels like we never just spend time together anymore and I want to talk about it.” You push your work aside and turn to face him more directly. He leans forward with his forearms on his desk.

“I only have one section left to read then leaving overall feedback. Can we talk about it tomorrow?”

“No, you always do this. I want to talk about it. I don’t want you to keep pushing me aside. What happened with us? Why do you spend your time everywhere else but with me?!”

“Logan I-”

“No, I know you care about your students but you don’t even look at me anymore.”

“Okay.. A bit of an exaggeration but yeah, I mean that’s the job. Come on, you’re a grown up. I thought you could handle a little less attention than what you’re used to.”

“You can just say it. I’m the least important thing in your life.”

“Oh don’t be dramatic. You’re still impor-”

His hand loudly hit the desk, making you jump.

“Stop doing that! Stop brushing me off!” He sighed and looked away. “Fuck- Ok, I just- Whatever, I’ll be in the kitchen.” He stood up and walked out. You didn’t try to stop him.

You put your face in your hands. You could admit, things had been stressful lately. Things had just been busy. Apparently after five years of being married, you had been putting Logan on the backburner more than you thought. But he had done the same with you hadn’t he? That’s just how it was sometimes. Why was he so upset about it this time? What changed? After a few minutes of letting him cool down, you sighed and got up to follow him to the kitchen. The only light in the open room was the soft glow of the hanging kitchen lights. He was sitting at the table with his hand in his hair. He looked up as you walked in.

“You always push me aside for everything else.” You came to apologize but now that felt more difficult than anything. Something about the way he said it gave you the urge to defend yourself. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was a lack of sleep. Either way, you pushed back.

“You act like I purposefully ignore you-”

“Sometimes, I wonder if you do!”

“Okay don’t put this all on me. We’re both busy. That’s just how it is right now, I don’t know why you have a problem with it all of the sudden.”

“You don’t know?! You don’t know because you never listen to me.”

“Oh I never listen to you?”

“Yes. I listen to you, I-”

“No no no no no. If you listened to me, you’d already know when I’m not going to be home. Because I actually make plans before the night of.”

“This again? I swear you never told me-”

“Whatever- that’s not going to get us anywhere. If you really want to talk, let’s talk about how you can be as busy with your students as you’d like but as soon as I do, then it’s a problem.”

“That’s not true!”

“Sure it is! But you’re a man, you can meet up with whoever you want. You know, I’m a woman so I should just be grateful that you let me have a job at all, right?”

“Why are you making this a sexism thing? When have I ever said anything like that to you?”

“You haven’t, but-”

“Exactly. I haven’t. Because I don’t think like that. Just because that was okay when I was growing up, doesn’t mean I’m like that. You know I’m not like that!”

“I thought so but sometimes, I’m not so sure.”

“And you don’t bring that up? You know you can talk to me- I’m not like you, I’m not just going to keep putting it off so we never talk about something you have a problem with.”

“When the hell have you brought up any of this before tonight?”

“I haven’t had the chance to because anytime there’s even a hint of a problem you just make it into a joke.”

“I didn’t realize I was doing that, maybe if you brought things up when they happened then we wouldn’t need to get to this point!”

“Yeah it’s all my fault, like everything else.”

“Oh, really defending your argument there- I’m so glad we didn’t wait to talk!” You started to pace around the area next to where he stayed seated. Walking between the table where he was and the counter off to his left.

“That is not fair. If we put it off again we would never have this conversation.. And this isn’t just about me ‘not getting attention,’ this is about you. This isn’t good for you. You need to get more sleep.”

“Oh but you’re just fine going without sleep, you’re the mighty Wolverine.”

“That’s not- No! Actually- Fine, you’re right. I am the wolverine, you don’t have the same mutation-”

“Maybe it doesn’t affect you as much, but it sure as hell still affects you. You’re still a human being Logan! I know my limits, you don’t need to hover, telling me to come to bed- It’s just a reminder of how slow I am- And it completely throws me off-”

“Don’t act like I’m not allowed to worry about you-”

“You’re allowed to worry, but that doesn't mean I’ll have any less-”

“Would you stop cutting me off?” He shouted the words through half gritted teeth. You took a step back. Logan never shouted at you, he barely ever raised his voice when you had disagreements. Your eyes flashed to the floor to avoid the intensity of his gaze.

“S-sorry.”

“I just-” He said your name quietly under breath and a hand went up to squeeze the bridge of his nose. “I just want to be how we were. I just want some of your time. I at least want you to pretend like you like me.”

“I do like you.” Your muscles that tense when he shouted had now relaxed and you could hear a nip of attitude in your own voice.

“But you don’t act like it! Not anymore at least. You act like me being in your life is an inconvenience.” His voice was consistently raised now. You let out a small laugh.

“God, you are so dramatic! Please get some sleep, you’re acting like a child who hasn’t had a nap. You’re worse than half the freshman students right now.”

“For fucks sake, would you just listen to what I’m saying for a minute? Actually listen and process what I’m saying. Why can’t you just take me seriously?!”

“Because I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“JUST TALK TO ME”

He stood up and yelled the phrase louder than he meant to. Again, you took a few steps back. His large frame still intimidatingly towered over you.

“That- that’s all I want from you! A real conversation.”

You start walking back to the bedroom. Logan tried to follow you.

“I need some space-” Logan stopped.

“Yeah, go. Keep avoiding me.” You sighed but kept walking into the bedroom. You grabbed your phone, keys, and wallet, putting them into a mostly empty messenger bag that was currently easier to get to than a purse. You threw on a jacket then left your bedroom. You walked past your husband in the kitchen.

“We both need to cool off. I’m going to stay at the school tonight.”

“Fine, go.”

“Good night”

“.. Night.”

Right before heading out the door; keys in one hand, the other on the doorknob. You sigh and turn around then walk back to him. He’s leaning on the kitchen counter, facing away from you.

“Hey,” he turns around.

You hit his chest lightly before grabbing the collar of his shirt and kissing him forcefully. You kept your eyes closed and your face close to his as you spoke.

“You are so frustrating.”

“I know.. Try talking to you.” You sighed quietly.

“..I love you”

“I.. I know.” A little sadder that time. He held onto the counter that was now behind him to keep himself from giving in to you. You kissed him again, much more softly this time.

“Drive safe..” He whispered as you pulled away. You nodded and left.

Hearing the sounds of the garage door open then shut was enough to make him start feeling guilty for not saying ‘I love you’ back. You were fighting, sure, but he did still love you.

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Logan went to bed but he couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned for almost an hour, listening to the soft taps of rain on the window until his phone rang. He answered it without looking, confident that you must be calling to talk or to apologize.

“What? Calling to apologize-” Annoyance dripping from tone.

“Sir, I’m a paramedic. Is this Logan Howlett?” He was caught off guard.

“What? Yes, yes that’s me. Why are you calling?” He sat up, a sense of dread creeping in.

“I’m with your wife right now, your information was in her wallet-”

The paramedic explains that you were in an accident and you’re going to be taken to a nearby hospital. You’re unconscious but they’re working on stabilizing you. He explains that as soon as you get there you’ll be taken to surgery.

“Most likely she’ll be in for a few hours and even when she’s out, it’ll still be a while before the anesthetic wears off. I know you’re freaking out right now but- Listen man, if it were me; I’d take a minute to process everything. Pack a bag: comfortable clothes, a book, crossword puzzles- just things that’ll make her comfortable while she has to stay there to be monitored. It’ll give you a sense of purpose, because you can’t do anything right now anyways, and it keeps you from having to leave her later when she is awake.”

“Yeah. Yeah alright. I’ll do that” They exchanged the remaining information then hung up. As he was doing what the paramedic instructed when he got another call. This was from the police. He was informed that he could come to the scene and retrieve anything valuable from the car before it was towed. It had been moved into a nearby church parking lot for the time being, that’s where he was told to go.

“Do you know what caused the accident? What happened?”

“Yeah, the other guy ran a red light. Didn’t even slow down. Because of the angle of the intersection and how fast he was going, she probably didn’t even see him until after the collision. He’s been arrested already, we’re waiting until he sobers up to ask him more about what happened, he wasn’t very intelligible. We know he was drinking but by the way he’s acting we think he’s on something else too.”

“Jesus..”

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He pulled into the small parking lot, marked by a sign stating there was an extra church service for Easter that had yet to be taken down. There he saw another truck. It was black and lifted and had more than a few dents that were clearly from screwing around rather than actual work. The front was basically caved in but the damage was minor, especially compared to what your car looked like. It was almost half of the size it used to be, completely crushed in on the drivers side.

“She’s lucky, you know.” Logan looked up, searching for the source of the voice through the pouring rain. A firefighter walks over.

“Usually people don’t survive accidents like this but the collusion happened more towards the back.. You’re family, right?”

“Uh yeah,” He held up his left hand, “Husband.”

“Yeahhh. Don’t worry about her. Her chances are looking good right now.”

“There’s more blood than I thought there would be.” He could smell it when he pulled up but getting this close he could see that it was yours; the other driver hadn’t been injured nearly as bad. He was hating his heightened senses that made it feel like the smell of iron was surrounding him.

“Oh yeah, there was a lot more in the street before the rain washed most of it away.” Logan looked increasingly nervous.

“So you came to get things from the vehicle?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Well there’s a lot of broken glass so if you need me or my colleagues to grab anything, just let us know.”

“No, I’ll be alright. Thanks.”

“No problem. We’ll just be talking with the officers if you change your mind.”

He got closer to your car, or what was left of it. Your keys had been pulled out of the ignition but were sitting on the dashboard. He picked them up and tried to ignore the blood and focus on where you usually leave things.

“Glove box, everybody keeps things in the glove box.” he thought aloud, quietly.

He walked around to the passengers side. Upon opening the door he saw your bag on the floor, sitting upright. Your phone and wallet were still inside although your ID and emergency sheet were separate. He assumed the first responders had opened your wallet to find such information. Logan picked up the bag and opened the glove box. He took everything out, placing it into the bag. Lucky for him, you didn’t keep much in your car. He took down the stuffed animal you kept on your dashboard and grabbed your blanket from the trunk. He threw the few other things you kept in your car into your bag then went to his own vehicle. An officer stopped him to talk to him about more details but his mind was only on you. None of the other details mattered if you weren’t okay.

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The drive to the hospital was silent. His thoughts were distracting enough. Logan felt like the drive was twice as long as it should have been. It felt like he was holding his breath the whole drive. He spoke quietly, trying to comfort himself.

“She’s going to be okay. She is tough. Fuck, of course she’s tough, look at who she married. Look at who she agreed to put up with..” His fists tightened around the steering wheel.

He pulled into the hospital’s visitors parking lot. He tried to steady his breathing before grabbing the backpack the paramedic recommended packing and heading inside. He didn’t even remember talking to the receptionist who told him which floor to go to for the right waiting room. But here he sat. Bouncing his leg anxiously. Waiting for you to get out of surgery. It was longer than he thought it’d take but eventually, a nurse came to talk to him.

You were out of surgery but you would still remain asleep, they were putting you in a medically-induced coma. There was too much trauma to the brain and this was the best option. They said you wouldn’t be under for longer than a week and offered to call him before waking you up but he insisted on staying by your side. The staff was admittedly concerned for him, he almost never slept. He just sat beside you. Waiting.

After almost four days, the tests suggested that they could stop the drugs inducing the coma. Your levels and brain activity showed that it was safe to do so. They warned him there would be side-effects from it and temporary memory loss was a possibility. Among other things. What they didn’t prepare him for was the time between stopping the drugs and you waking up. For some patients it was almost instantly. For you it was several hours.

The moment they stopped your IV drip to the moment you were conscious again, he didn’t let go of your hand. After the first hour he had resorted to quietly begging you to wake up, asking you not to leave him like this. As you woke up, that’s what you heard.

“-and I won’t complain about your stupidly long hours. Please. I’m sorry. Please wake up.” He called you a nickname you hadn’t heard before. Or at least one you didn’t remember. “Please- I know I’m dumb, I need you to wake up. I need you to know how sorry I am. And- and I never should have let you leave the house without telling you how much I loved you. I was upset and I wasn’t thinking. Please. I’m so sorry.”

As you woke up, your eyes fluttered open and you tried to get familiar with your surroundings. When you made a noise and moved your hand, Logan looked up at you in surprise. He jumped up from where he sat to gently hug you and tell you how much he loved you. He pressed the button for the nurse, as he had been instructed to. From there, he found out about your memory. You found out about the accident. You were both disappointed and a little scared. Logan has an overwhelming sense of guilt about what happened and you don’t even know what happened or if he played a role in it. In an ironic twist, he'd finally get to spend more time with you. Just not in a way he ever would have wanted.

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Second author's note: sorry if the argument isn't great, uhh definitely looking for feedback for improvement there. I was trying to make it both characters fault but idk. Also first attempt at a mood board for the fic. Idk if I like it, I may take it down, we'll see.

Okay it's been revised. I think it is a significant improvement but it's still no where near perfect. Stayed up until 6am making revisions because apparently, I'm allergic to sleep! And also joy as jt seems! But no rest for the wicked I guess: I have my immunology final project due in 8 hours and it is been severely neglected. Anyways thanks for your time... again I guess for some of you.

Taglist: @kemi707 @klwrites @fluff-lover @a-leg-without-fear @aoi-targaryen @vofriviasblog @jupiter-sky @crypt1dcat @karencaribou

[ofwraithsandwords]

Feeling normal about Juste Belmont.

[littlemissmiller]

Bird in a Cage

Part 1: To Me, You Are Divine

Pairing: dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

Summary: a young president snow decided to kidnap you and take you as his prisoner in his palace. he needs a First Lady, and you could be the one…

Warning: 21+ (drinking) eventual smut, non-con, mentions of drugging (reader gets drugged by coryo), toxic themes, possession, stalking, kidnapping

Word count: 3.3k

A/N: hi…still working on Summer Highs and The Shopkeepers Daughter part 2 but in typical ADHD fashion, they have been left still yet to be finished. in the meantime (also in typical ADHD fashion) i got sooooo caught up in this story that i kinda wrote it and can’t seem to stop. The words are just flowing outta me. anyways i need to get a pedro fic out (which i have those started too!) ok so enjoy this y’all it’s so fucking dark 🤍 also…we already almost at 300 followers so I would appreciate the follow (and who doesn’t like a nice round number)

Series Masterlist

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The vastness of the palace made you feel even more alone than you already did. Being trapped in this room all day and night was starting to become unsettling. It is only a few days and still, you haven’t even made contact with the man who is holding you in his possession. Coriolanus Snow, the young president, had taken you as his own. Little did you know that you are just merely a part of his collection. The collection of girls he had taken home, held captive, then released when he wanted a new one. And to keep these women quiet, money and the veiled threats of losing your life or a loved ones. He was no stranger to keeping his promises. So when he saw you at The Gamemakers Gala, you became his prey. He had taken you home to the palace and made you his.

You were sure it was only two days, but still waking up groggy, confused, and unsure of your location can make time feel like a burden. But a maid had told you two days ago, so you went with it. Apparently he has every intention of seeing you, but based on the light outside the window, evening is setting in, so you’re not sure. You had no more tears left to cry as you lay and waited for dinner. You’re not sure how much longer it is, but eventually someone knocks on your door. You pop up, and a maid enters the room. She rolls in a mahogany tray table with fresh polished silverware, and a plate cover to match.

“Your dinner” she announces

She reveals a freshly seasoned sirloin steak, with the most perfect mashed potatoes you’ve ever seen, topped off with fresh cut chives. And he even sent you a slice of chocolate cake. It’s truly the most perfect plate you’ve seen and it was only your second dinner here in the presidential palace. Despite being held captive, Snow was keeping you well fed. You nod at her and begin digging in.

“He wishes to see you after dinner. I’ll wait outside to escort you.”

You look up at her in shock and then another wave of surprise hits you as she hands you an outfit. It was a black two piece. A halter top and pants with the slits of the leg cut out, like a two legged skirt and a pair of lace up, black heels She then hands you a bag with some foundation, mascara, lipstick, and a compact. You take it and she leaves, locking the door. You sit there, fearful and confused. What was he planning on doing to you? Why is he dressing you up like a doll and fattening you like a pig? You look back down at your dinner plate with a new found disgust and push it away. Fuck it. If you don’t finish your dinner, you don’t have to see him. You’ll say you’ve fallen ill, which you practically have when the reality of your situation comes crashing down on you again. You toss the outfit and makeup onto the bed and cross your arms.

A few moments pass and before you know it the maid is knocking again. You assume she’s checking on your progress but she simply walks in with a white envelope in hand. She gives it to you without a word, leaving the room, locking the door again. Your name is printed in fine calligraphy, a deep blood red. You turn it over and notice the, white, wax seal, engraved with a rose. You shakily open it, and reveal a note. It reads:

My dear,

I’ve seen this little show before. I always find it charming and I of course love a good game, however, I know you will not win. No matter how hard you try. This being said, I of all people know how to use hunger as a weapon and trust me your body will crave it soon enough, or I could ask the chef to cook for one less person while you’re in my care. It’s up to you.

Don’t keep me too much longer.

-C.S.

Fuck. He’s watching you. A new wave of consciousness creeps over you and you frantically look around the room, then realize he is probably still watching and stop your movements. You sit on the bed, look at the meal and sigh. Your stomach is growing given lunch was soup and some bread. It was a rich chicken noodle, but not filling enough. He must have planned that too. All a part of the game he was apparently playing with you. You begrudgingly take up the fork and knife, slicing up the juicy meat and biting into it. Of course it’s divine, and a small moan escapes your lips and you scoop up some mashed potatoes.

You take your time to eat though, making him wait even longer for you, despite his request in the note. Maybe you can win this game. In your own little ways. You eventually finish your meal and stare at the outfit and makeup bag. You sigh, seeing that this may be the only way out. You touch the fabric, it’s so silky and smooth. It dances on your fingertips and you can’t help but want to at least try it on. You know once you do that, you’ll be truly trapped in his game. You sigh and want to cry, but hold it together. Now that you're painfully aware he’s watching you, you know the only thing that will please him next will be to do as you're told. Or starve until you die apparently. Would he really do that to a citizen of Panem? You figure he just might, considering you’re this far into his plans. You take the outfit in your hand and walk into the bathroom attached to the room.

As you change, you wonder if he’s still watching you. You hope not. You’d hope he’d give you that privacy, then again you still don’t know what he has in store for you. Given that he’s making you change outfits, it seems like he wants a surprise. Like a gift being presented to him. As you strap up the heels, you take a look at yourself in the mirror. You take a deep breath as the tears start to well in your eyes. Now is not the time to fall into a mess, he wants you beautiful for him and you need to be to make it through this. Once you get a better layout of the palace and his room, you’ll be able to formulate a better escape plan.

You knock on the door and the maid opens in. She is now accompanied by two armed guardsmen, which you assume is to keep you from running. You hold yourself high as you walk out, even though your fear is still sitting in the back of your mind. Without a word, the two men and the maid walk you through the palace. It’s just as beautiful as the pictures you’ve seen. Tall ceilings, marble floors, wide windows, grand staircases. He truly has it all. You follow the group down a long hall, walls decorated with pictures of Panem and Snows of the past. Based on the pictures you see now, he looks a lot like his father. Finally, they arrive at a set of double doors, the same mahogany as the tray table. The maid knocks twice and opens the door. She stands aside and you walk in. The walls of his room have the same white marble as the floors outside, adorned with gold plating. The floors match the door and in front of you is an empty desk and red armchair. Standing beside the wide window, with his back to you, President Snow spares a quick glance over his shoulder, giving a satisfied smile.

“You found your way.”

“I was escorted.”

“That’s not what I meant dear. You look stunning by the way.”

“Well you did pick it” you scoff

“Is that a little attitude I detect?” He clicks his tongue at you “tsk tsk oh my dear, you really want to play like that hmm?”

“I don’t want to play any games, President Snow. Just please, can you tell me why I’m here? Why was I stuck in that room alone for two days?”

“To monitor your health. The drugs I gave you can sometimes make you nauseous for a few days.”

You temper your breathing. So you could have been there for much longer without realizing it. When you woke up that next morning, not in your own bed, in a room completely foreign to you, you did feel slightly groggy, highly confused and had no memory of the night before, which you chalked up to drinking. But no, Snow had drugged you and kidnapped you. And now here you stand, face to face with him. You don’t even remember meeting him until now, now something tells you that you did a few days ago.

“Well why am I here?”

He smirks and walks around to you. You don’t let your eyes leave him. It’s hard not to when his piercing blue ones practically beckon for you to stare into them. They call you, keeping you focused. Now that he’s closer up, you can see the handsome features you’ve only seen in newspapers. The same face that would sit on your coffee table and sometimes be used as a coaster, is now staring at you intensely. He eyes you, and you watch them trail down your body.

“Come closer to me.” He beckons, curling his index finger.

You nervously waltz forward, looking down nervously.

“Look up at me. Did you forget your manners?”

“No…” you breathe, now close enough to be able to touch him.

“No? What did I just say about manners my dear?” He chuckles

“No, President Snow.” You tremble

He reaches out, holding your chin, making you look directly at him.

“Good girl. You’ll learn. Consistency is key after all.” He trails the pad of his thumb against your lower lip and coos at you, almost forgetting his own manners as well. He clears his throat, and removes his hand.

“You want to know why you’re here?” He continues

“Yes, President Snow.” You nod

He smiles at you and tilts his head.

“You’re learning. That’s good.”

He pauses

“I brought you here because I think you’re special. Maybe you are even special enough to keep…”

“To keep, sir?”

“Mhmm” he walks around you, examining you. He brushes your hair back behind your shoulder and wafts in your scent.

“I assume you showered this morning? You smell nice.” He continues

“I did. I used the body wash that was available to me.”

“Good.” He smiles

There is a moment of silence while he continues to look at you. He walks to face you again and you look back up at him quickly.

“So here’s how this will work, you will live here, with me, in the palace. We will start dining together and you will accompany me to events if necessary. People won’t be suspicious since they assume that I was a president of integrity that made sure you got home safe and sound after the gala. They will assume you fell for my chivalry and I under the spell of your beautiful face.”

“For how long?” You stutter

“Well you see, I don’t have an answer for you on that. See I said you can’t win earlier and that wasn’t entirely true. You can win this game.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m looking for a First Lady of Panem. I believe you could be qualified to fit that role, but I like a good trial run with things.”

“So you kidnapped me, because you want me to be your wife.”

“That’s a strong word, but if everything works out then yes, but if not you will be properly reimbursed for your time, a non-disclosure contract will be drawn up, and you’ll be free to live as you please…as long as you don’t go around talking about this, then you’ll have bigger problems. Do you understand?” He raises an eyebrow

“Yes, President Snow…”

“Good. When I’m not around, the maids will tend to you, and you will from now on have armed guards with you at all times. When you sleep, they will guard your room.”

“I understand.”

“You are very lucky either way. I do believe most women would love to be here right now, hand picked by their president. I have fine taste you see, and that applies to the women I make mine as well.”

“What if I win,” you start, putting win in air quotes “then doesn’t that mean I stay here. With you…forever?”

“That’s right my dear, you’ll be by my side, rule over Panem with me.”

“What if I don’t want that?” You mumble, fearful of his answer

He steps closer and smiles at you. He takes a lock of your hair and rubs it between his thumb and forefinger. He drops it and smooths it out along your collarbone.

“Oh, I’m sure you will. Once you see what this lifestyle has to offer, you’ll try to be my most perfect girl.”

Your eyes widen and your heartbeat speeds up. You have nothing to say, as if all language has escaped your brain.

“Do you have anything else to ask me?” He smiles

“Why not just find a wife through normal means? Meet someone and get to know them?” You quiver again

“Why would I do that when it’s in my complete power to pick and choose. It’s easier that way too, I hate courting somebody, that silly dance people do. Does she like me, does he think I’m pretty, blah blah blah. All nonsense if you ask me. I know I like you. Like you enough to see if you're a good fit. All I really have to do is get you to like me. It’s better that way. You got to the store to buy things like apples, well I picked mine straight from the tree. I don’t go through anyone for the things I want. I just…take it.”

“And you won’t hurt me?”

“Hurt you? Of course not. Why would I want to hurt a beautiful thing such as yourself. He smirks.

He walks back around you again and stands behind. He places his hand on your shoulder, brushes back your hair and leans into your ear.

“You should know how beautiful you are. To me you are divine.” He whispers, his hot breath fanning the shell of your ear.

He rubs your shoulders tenderly, thumbs moving along your spine. Then unexpectedly, you feel his lips press against your neck. He applies a fair amount of pressure, leaving several kisses behind as he pulls back.

“Did that hurt?”

“No sir.” You breathe

“See. Like I said I don’t want to hurt you”

He returns his lips back to your neck, his hand creeping up to your jaw to push you more aggressively against his mouth. Your breath hitches and heartbeat speeds up. You want to turn him away, push him off and scream that he's an absolute monster, but your body begins to betray you. A slow heat creeps up your body, your cunt beginning to throb. You purse your lips, controlling your breath as he continues to attack your neck.

“Tell me, what can I do to make you happy while you’re in my care. I do truly desire your comfort as much as I desire to find a proper First Lady.”

“I want to be able to speak to my family. Do they know where I am?”

“Right now, they assume that you are away for work, and got called up to model the latest dresses for future Hunger Games contestants this summer. To them, you’re in District 2 for a few days.”

With that you snap and push him away, flinching as he tries to kiss you again. In response, he clutches your arm and pulls you back to him. He tightens his grip, teeth grazing your ears.

“Or I’ll send them another letter saying you were found dead after the gala, popped some pills looking for fun and took your last breath instead.” He grits harshly

“You said you don’t want to hurt me.” You whine

“I don’t want to. But I most certainly can.” He growls

“Please, I don’t want this please just let me go instead, I’ll take whatever money you offer, I don’t want this!” You begin to cry

“Let’s be honest, you don’t know what you really want. If you did, you’d be begging to stay. So I’ll show you. I’ll show you everything you could really want and more”

He once again surprises you, kissing your cheek, softly letting your tears roll onto his lips. He holds you more gently now, and you can feel your body wanting to melt into his arms. You start to stifle your tears and he soothes you.

“I have a feeling you just might be the one. You’re not like the others so far…”

“Others?” You mumble

“Mhmm. They aren’t around anymore. Like I said they got their dues instead. They know what happens if they speak up. I think you should really think about what it means for you to be my prize. Because like I said, even if you lose the game, you still belong to me.”

He kisses your jaw, hands settling on your waist. He coos into your ear, stroking your hair. You sniffle and look down at the floor. He moves his hand and tilts your head back up.

“You’ll be able to talk to your family soon enough darling. I promise.” He kisses your cheek again.

You shutter against him, more cries desperately wanting to escape your lips, but the way he continues to stroke your hair, soothes you. You suddenly feel so conflicted, accepting his comfort, but wanting to turn him away.

“In the meantime my dear…” he moves his hands back to your waist and squeezes your hips. Your body tenses at his actions and he moves his lips back down to your neck. You are somewhat frozen, trying your best to focus more on the pleasure he brings you.

“I’d like to get to know you better. Show you how beautiful you are? Hmm would you like that?” His left hand trails up your body, stopping just as he reaches your breast. You quiver at his touch, and turn to look toward him. Your eyes are full of fear and Coriolanus can see it. He sighs.

“Or perhaps another night. I’ll let you get more settled in…” he kisses your cheek one last time, before stepping in front of you. You look up at him and nod. With the pad of this thumb, he wipes a tear away. He calls out for the maid and she opens the door.

“I think we both shall retire for the night.” He tells her.

He holds your chin one last time, and you face him fully.

“I expect to see you at breakfast tomorrow. What do you like?”

“I’ll eat anything you give me.” You quiver

He gives you a faint smile and a simple nod. He sends you off with the maid and armed guards back to your room, watching you as you go. Once you return, you are left alone again and remember that he can watch you in this room. Which he is. As soon as you left, he poured himself a glass of whiskey and turned the video feed back on. He watched you enter the room. As you sit on the bed, trying not to cry, then look over into the bathroom and huff. You stand back up and storm in, closing the door behind you. You let out a huge sigh of relief. You were sure he would be persistent, not stop and until he truly got what he wanted. Which is you. You sink down onto the floor, bury your face in your knees and let out a slow, soft sob.

꧁🝮꧂

Next Chapter

[forever-rogue]

Hi bb 💕 the premiere of TLOU was so damn good and I’m so excited for the rest of the season! If you’re still writing for Joel and taking requests could we maybe have some domestic fluff with pre-outbreak Joel? Hopefully that’s enough to go off of! ☺️☺️💗

AN | I couldn’t help myself, dinner is served, bone app the teeth. It’s just fluff with a lil foreshadowing! Enjoy ❤️

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language

Word Count | 2k

Masterlist | Joel, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was an early fall day that found you walking over to the Adler’s house and knocking on the door only to be greeted excitedly by Mercy’s barking. As soon as the door was open, the fluffy dog pushed his way past the screen door and over to you, weaving around your legs, tail wagging wildly as you reached down to pet him. 

“Sorry about him, sweetheart,” Mrs. Adler looked at the dog with a raised eyebrow, “he just loves people, but you know that by now.”

“Good thing I love him too. Huh buddy, you’re such a good boy,” you bent down and scratched his ears before kissing his snout, “is Sarah here? I just got to their house and wanted to see if she wanted to come home and help me with some baking.”

“She is,” the screen door opened and you stepped inside, immediately overwhelmed by the smell of cooking and that odor that older homes often had. You spotted the young girl at the kitchen table, but as soon as she heard you, she turned around with a huge smile, “do you girls want to stay for dinner?”

“No,” you and Sarah chorused before looking at each other sheepishly. You gave her a wink before clearing your throat.

“Thank you for the offer,” you smiled sweetly, “Joel’s going to be home soon and we’d promised him some cookies so…we’d better get to baking!”

“Of course,” she seemed unphased by your lame excuse, which to be fair wasn’t a total lie, “well, you know you’re both welcome any time. And Joel.”

“Thank you,” you grabbed Sarah’s backpack as soon as it was packed up and herded the young girl towards the door, “have a good evening.”

As soon as the two of you were outside, after having given Mercy a few more pets, you exchanged a look before both breaking into a fit of giggles.

“You came just in time,” Sarah sighed dramatically, “she was just about to start knitting and insisted on showing me how to knit today.”

“I knew I was getting some distressed vibes for a reason,” you gently nudged her side with your elbow, “don’t worry kiddo, I’ll always be there to save you. Especially from old ladies and their knitting. I can’t imagine a worse fate.”

“Seriously,” she unlocked the door and the two of you stepped into the Millers’ quiet house. You liked it here, it felt so homey and lived in, filled with lots of laughs and love. You cringed when you realized how cheesy that sounded, even in your head, but it was true. In the almost two years you’d been with Joel, it had all but become your home too, “did you mean it when you said we’re doing some baking?”

“Sarah, my sweet Sarah,” you kicked off your shoes as you made your way into the kitchen, laughing internally at the half consumed glass of orange juice and cup of coffee from this morning. They had been running late…again. How very on brand for both of them, “would I ever lie to you?”

“You haven’t yet,” she grinned as you nodded. 

“And I expected you to always be truthful with me,” you put the dirty dishes into the sink, “did you get all your homework finished?”

“Yup,” she grinned, “finished it with enough time to even sell some hardcore drugs.”

“I’m impressed,” you snorted in amusement, “you managed to get to Mrs. Adler’s, do your homework, sell some drugs, and make it back before anyone noticed you were gone. That is some skill.”

“Totally,” she laughed as you high fived each other. Truth be told, she’d hadn’t been sure about you when Joel first introduced the two of you. And you couldn’t blame her; she was fiercely protective over her father. It had been just the two of them for basically her entire life - her mother, Joel’s wife, had left the two of them when she was only a few months old. She didn’t even remember her own mother. And the idea that a stranger was going to come and change everything? It was terrifying. 

But you never pushed or forced yourself into her business, and let her warm up to you. You wondered at first if it had anything to do with the fact that you were a bit younger than Joel, but quickly learned it was all just because she loved him so much. And he loved her just as much and then some. But over time, she’d come to love you too and you loved her. 

These days it was Sarah pushing Joel to just finally have you officially move in. Again, that one was on Joel. You weren’t going to push him either. This was just as new for him; you were the only person he’d dated since his wife. But you loved the Millers and you knew that your future held both of them in it. That was all that mattered.

“How about some chocolate chip cookies?” you suggested and her face eagerly lit up as she nodded, “okay but, tell me how much your dad would hate it, if we tried to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.”

“He’d love them, but he’d never admit it,” she said and you knew she was right, “how about we make both?”

“A grand plan,” you smiled, “throw on a record and let’s get started. Maybe we can have everything ready before he’s home.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Something smells good,” neither of you had heard Joel come in, but when you turned around you found him leaning against the doorway, a lazy smile on his face. You shook your head in amusement as Sarah ran over to him and hugged, “hey baby girl.”

“You’re home early for once,” she grinned at him, and he playfully rolled his eyes, “that’s what you should be doing, as a man of such advanced age.”

“Thirty-five isn’t advanced, it’s-”

“Ancient,” you finished for him, smiling sweetly as he jokingly flipped you off, “we only tease out of love.”

“Some kind of love,” he huffed, affectionately touching Sarah’s cheek, “go on and set the dining table, okay?”

“Sure,” she smirked, looking between the two of you with a knowing little smile, “you just want to make out. I’m not a child, I know these things!”

“Table,” he groaned, taking her by the shoulders and gently ushered her out of the kitchen. She ran off, giggling under her breath, “and you are a kid!”

“Whatever!”

He turned his attention onto where you were leaning against the counter, setting his arms on either side of your body, affectionately trapping you in his grasp, “the two of you are always ganging up on me. Shoulda known you were going to be trouble.”

“Good trouble?” you reached up and put your hand on his face, swiping your thumb over the apple of his cheek. Joel always was a little rough around the edges, but you loved that about him. You loved how underneath that exterior, he had a kind, gentle heart.

“The best,” he took your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Despite his best efforts, you could still see the faintest blush in his cheeks, “just so you know, I want to make out, but I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. We’re saving this for later.”

“Aye aye,” you mock saluted him and he snorted in amusement, “we made cookies. And your favorite for dinner, so I’ll be expecting a lot of thanks later.”

“Baby,” he closed his eyes and groaned softly, “you’re killing me.”

“And you’re letting dinner burn in the oven, so move it,” you put your hands on his hips and shuffled him to the side. You felt him watching your every move closely, “stop staring at my ass and help me, please.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, but it was nothing but fondness…and it didn’t stop him from teasingly slapping your ass as you made a sound of surprise, “now I’ll help.”

“You are the worst, Joel Miller.”

What you really meant was I love you with every fiber of my being, Joel Miller.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Are you even paying attention to the movie?” you looked up at Joel, and nodded sleepily, pulling yourself off him as if to prove a point. You’d been lying on his chest, his arm around you for the last hour as you tried to focus on whatever silly movie he’d put on, “mhmm.”

“Shh,” you waved him off, “it’s not my fault you have terrible taste in movies.”

“This is a piece of cinema,” he joked, just as someone else on screen was getting their head chopped off, “niche cinema.”

“Sure Joel,” you yawned softly, “it’s getting late. I should-”

“Just stay baby,” he insisted and despite the fact that you knew he would, your stomach flipped happily, “I don’t want you driving late at night when you’re this tired.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist as he tugged you closer to him. You were soft and malleable and let him pull you into his lap, “but you’ve convinced me to stay.”

You leaned in to kiss him, slowly at first, suddenly feeling wide awake. Your body hummed with energy as his hands found purchase on your waist and he kissed you back with just as much eagerness. He really did make good on his makeout promise from earlier. And he kissed you until you were breathless and dizzy, grinning at him shyly.

“You’re so warm and soft,” he mused as his hand dipped under your sweater and spread his fingers along your ribs, “and beautiful.”

“Is that what you say to all the girls?” you teased softly and he let out a bark of laughter.

“Just you,’ he promised, as if you needed some sort of reassurance. You beamed as you leaned into him and peppered kisses along his jaw and down his glorious neck, “you keep this up longer and-”

“We’re not having sex on the couch,” you laughed quietly, a sound that went straight to his heart. He really loved you, he thought at that moment, “where one - Sarah could walk in on us any moment and two - we all sit on here. Bedroom, Miller.”

“Fine,” he pouted and you turned his face up towards yours as you kissed the pout away. A serious look crossed his features when you pulled away, “I’ve been thinking…”

“Uh oh. That’s never a good idea-”

“Hush,” he pressed a finger to his lips and you pressed a kiss to it, “I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s time you actually moved in. Officially.”

“Yeah?” your heart swelled and felt like it was about to burst with pure happiness. He nodded and there was a gentle hopeful look in his big brown eyes that you loved, “okay y-yeah. Yes. I’d really like that too.”

“Yeah?” This time it was his turn to ask for reassurance.

“Yeah,” you promised, cradling his handsome face in your hands. You kissed him a few more times, reverent and saccharine, before you pulled back again, “bedroom?”

“You read my mind.”

“Joel?” you paused for just a moment before either of you could move, “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“Forever?”

“Forever,” he smiled softly, “and then even longer.”

[elly-grace]

Game day surprise

Pairing: joe burrow x reader

Word count: 1339

Today was the day, the day your husband took the field for the first time since November of last season. The first game of the regular season was here The Bengals versus the Tennessee Titans. Preseason went by in a blur, Joe didn’t play preseason due to fear of reinjuring his wrist. Joe wasn’t happy with the decision, but he supported his coach's choice.

Joe woke up at 7:30 that morning, he knew he had to get to paycor early enough to do his pregame ritual. He tried his best not to wake you but as soon as he got out of bed the empty feeling woke you.

“Joe come back to bed.” you spoke softly.

“I can’t, baby. I need to go to the stadium.” he mourned. He wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with his wife. The temptation to go back to bed was strong but he knew that he needed to complete his ritual. He took steps towards You and placed a quick peck on your nose,your nose crinkled as you let out a small laugh. You then pull your husband into a quick goodbye kiss.

“Please let me know when you get to Paycor I don’t want to worry about you.”

“I’ll send you a text. I love you, see you later.”

“I love you too, now go” you said.

He pulled you in for one more kiss and started to leave, when you thought about telling him about the positive pregnancy test.

“Joe.”

He turned around after hearing his name.

“Yeah?”

“I’m-” upon further thought you decided this wasn’t the time. “Nothing good luck today.”

Joe looked at you concerned, “Are you sure it's nothing?”

“Yes, now go!” you said with a smile.

“You can tell me everything, I don’t believe it's nothing.”

“I promise you it's nothing Joe, I love you.”

You knew Joe would be happy with the news you have been trying to get pregnant since the twins turned two.

After Joe left you couldn’t fall back asleep instead opting to clean the house a little bit. True to his word Joe texted you around 8:15 letting You know he made it to the stadium safely. At around 8:30 you decided to get yourself ready. You rummaged through your closet looking for something to wear. You were already starting to show a tiny bit so finding something that wouldn’t show your tiny baby bump was hard. Finally you found an orange dress that wasn’t tight fitting. You finished getting ready by putting your hair up in a ponytail. Walking downstairs you see the front door open, you quickly turn around and go back up the stairs.

“Good morning”

You knew the voice right away. It was Robin. You let out a sigh upon hearing her voice. Joe gave Robin a key to the house for when she watches Logan and Leo. But you didn’t expect her to be here right now. You walked down the stairs to greet your mother in law.

“You scared me! I didn’t know you were coming over today.”

“Joe called me, he said you were acting weird. He is worried about you”

You checked your watch and saw the time, it was honestly an attempt to avoid telling her why you were acting weird.

“Oh won’t you look at the time, I have to go get Logan and Leo ready.”

“What's going on? You are acting strange.” she expressed, concern was clear on her face.

“It’s nothing.” you brushed off trying to walk away.

Then it hit her, call it mothers intuition. A smile grew on her face at noticing a certain glow she'd only seen on you once before.

“You're pregnant aren't you?” It was more of a statement than a question.

Your face paled as sadness covered your features.

“Surprise” You said softly, you wanted Joe to be the first one that knew.

Upon seeing your face Robin became worried.

“Why are you sad?”

“I’m not, I just haven’t told Joe yet. I mean the last time I was pregnant I went into Labor during the biggest game of his NFL career. It distracted him, he had a chance to win the superbowl. But Logan and Leo distracted him, I distracted him.”

“You think he cares about losing that game?” she looks at you, all you can do in response is nod. “He couldn’t care less because even though they lost the game, it was the day you welcomed your two beautiful boys into this world. He loves you and them more than this sport. You guys have been trying to get pregnant for a while now. He called me after every negative test. He wouldn’t admit it but I could tell he was sad. You need to tell him, he is going to be so happy.”

You offer Robin a small smile knowing she's right. The boys run down the stairs and jump on Robin.

“GRANDMA!” they both yell as they see her, she smiles and gives them both hugs.

“Alright you two let's get you ready so we can go see daddy play.” You ushered the kids back up the stairs.

“I’ll tell him tonight.”

You followed the boys up the stairs.

They both wore their burrow jersey’s and blue Jean shorts. As soon as they were ready they ran downstairs.

“Oh won’t you look at you two!” Robin said, standing up from the couch. “Hey, why don’t we take my car. Jim and I will take them tonight so you and Joe can talk.” She smiled at you.

“Are you sure?” You questioned.

“Of course”

“Thank you!” You give her a hug.

“How far along are you?” She pulled away from the hug with a questioning look on her face.

“5, maybe 6 weeks.”

“You’ve kept this from him for this long?”

“I mean my husband is a very hard man to sit down and have a full blown conversation with right now. Plus I only just found out for sure, I met with my OB yesterday.”

“Yeah Joes been on the go recently.”

“I promise he’ll know today.”

She smiles as you two walk with the twins to robin's car. Each of you buckled in one of them before getting in yourself.

The car ride was silent, the only noise was the music on the radio playing quietly.

Once you arrive at paycor you get out of the car and grab your boys. Walking into paycor you see Joe about to head to the locker room. Security let you in instantly without checking your id knowing who you were. Joe noticed you and ran up to you.

“Why are you guys here so early?” He asked then gave you a kiss.

“We wanted to see you practice today.”

“I’m so glad you're here baby! I was worried about you this morning.” He said giving you a tight hug, that’s when he felt the bump. He pulled away and gave you a questioning look similar to the one Robin gave you earlier. “Are you? Are we?” He couldn’t contain his happiness.

“Pregnant? Yes, I’m sorry I kept it from you, I just wanted to make sure.” He smiled and picked you up and spun you around.

“I can’t believe it.” He beamed and gave you another kiss.

“Now go get ready, I love you.”

“I love you too!”

Logan and Leo see their dad and run to hug his leg.

“Good luck daddy!”

“Thanks boys! Luckily my lucky charms are here.” He said picking up Leo and giving him a hug before doing the same with Logan.

“Okay guys let’s let dad go get ready!”

The frown on the faces of the two little kids was enough to make you cry.

“Mommy don’t cry.”

“I’m okay boys, let head to the box”

Making your way back to Robin you all made your way to the box. Safe to say that was one of the best games Joe has ever played after finding out the news.

Requested by @funnyjb

Thank you I hope you enjoyed!

[arsenal-womens-1]

What if I say no and I come with you

Request

“It’s one thing to be in love, but it’s something else entirely to be willing to sacrifice everything for it.” - Unknown

December 10th: We had just got back on the bus; we had just played Chelsea and won 4-1. The main topic throughout the bus was the transfer window. You and Jen were sitting next to each other. On the opposite side, Beth and Viv sat. You and Beth were nearest to the window with your partners next to you. Beth and Jen were talking as you and Viv just sat and listened. The topic of transfers comes up. Everyone knows that you and Jen’s contracts run out in January.

“Are you going to sign new contracts this season?” You and Jen had put a lot of thought into it. Jen had already started to get offers, a lot from the NWSL. You had received some offers as well, so you had decided that Jen was going to go to the NWSL and you somewhere in Europe. You had done this countless times, but something about this didn’t feel the same. Jen glances over at you.

“We talked, and we decided if things don’t change with the offers, I’m going to go to the NWSL and Y/N somewhere in Europe.”

You just hum. “What about you, Viv?” It was no secret in the team that Viv was unhappy. The way she was being treated was wrong, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

“I haven’t decided anything yet, but if I don’t, my contract runs out in July, so I guess I’ll just see what happens.” After that, the other two go back to talking.

January 2nd: Kim Little has invited the whole team around for a team bonding session. Training didn’t start for another few days, but as the transfer season is now open, this is probably the last time that this team will play together. We needed to be at her house at 5 p.m., and it’s currently 4:56. You two just pulled into her street. A few cars you recognize. Jen pulls into an open spot, turns off the car, and gets out. She always insists on opening the door for you. You walk up to the house, knocking on the door. You wait for someone to answer. Kim finally opens it.

“Hey, come in. A few of the girls are already here.” Walking into the main room, more than half of the team is there. You and Jen separate and go talk to different people. You walk over to Frida, Lia, Amanda, Stina, Katie, and Caitlin.

“Hey, Y/N.”

You stand next to Lia. “Hey.” You had not seen each other since the 21st, as everyone left for where they were spending Christmas on the 22nd.

“How was Christmas?” Everyone talks about what they did and random stuff. Once again, the transfer topic comes up.

“Y/N, have you and Jen chosen what teams you’re going to?”

You had thought about it for the last month but had yet to pick one. “Jen has; I haven’t yet, though.”

January 19th: You had just finished training. You had been thinking about it and didn’t know who to talk to, so when you bump into Kelly Smith, it feels like a blessing.

“Hey, Kelly, can I ask you something?”

She had always said that if any of you needed help, you could ask her, and now you need that help.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

You look around to make sure that nobody is near. “How did you know you were making the right choice when you retired?”

She takes a moment to think. “I knew I was making the right decision when I looked at all the things I had achieved, and when I thought about it, I felt at peace that I had done everything I could and won everything I could. I knew I was doing it for the right reasons.”

Hearing her say that really helped. Realistically, there was nothing else you could win—you won the Euros with England, came second in the World Cup, had Olympic medals, and played for Barca. You had done it all. You nod your head.

“Thank you for saying that.”

You go to the changing room and see everyone. You get changed.

January 30th: We are standing in our back garden. It was Jen’s goodbye party. A few people were talking, a few eating, and a lot playing football. You and Jen are standing on the deck at the top of the garden. Her arms are wrapped around your back as your head is on her chest.

“Jen.”

She hums to show that she’s listening.

“What if I say no to all the teams and come with you? I don’t want to be separated anymore. I’m happy with everything I’ve achieved; there’s nothing left to do.”

She pulls back a little to look at you, her eyes searching yours for any sign that you’re lying.

“Are you serious?”

You nod your head as your voice seems to have disappeared.

Jen’s expression softens as she looks you in the eye. “Are you sure? There’s a lot to consider—what if you regret it? What if you miss out on opportunities that could have come your way?”

You squeeze her hands gently. “I know there are risks. But I think the chance to be together and not worry about when the next time we get to see each other is worth it. I want to wake up with you next to me. I’ve done everything I have ever wanted for my career; there’s nothing left to accomplish.”

She holds you in a tight hug. “If this is what you truly want, then come with me.”

[wosostories]

Heath Sisters PT 1 (USWNT x Teen!Reader)

Masterlist

USWNT X Teen!Reader

Tobin is called up to her first national team camp. Along comes her sister as she has no where else to go.

This is a Reader story with Y/N, but I wrote it in third person because that made more sense in my head.

Part 1

“Come on Y/N, we’ve got to go. We’re going to miss our flight.” Tobin yells to her sister in the next room. “We need to be on time to make a good first impression.”

“I know, I’m sorry. Have you seen my shoes? I can’t find them. I’ve searched my entire room.”

“You can’t find them because they’re out here,” Tobin tells her sister, as she picks them up off the floor. “For once you put them where they are supposed to go.” Y/N bursts out of the next room and takes the holy shoes out of her sister’s hand. 

“I really need to get you a new pair of those.”

“No you don't, they're fine.” Y/N states slipping them on. “I’m ready.”

“Good, the Uber’s here grab your bags.” Y/N grabs her bags and goes to walk out the door. Tobin grabs the back of her backpack. “You don’t need to worry about the money ok. That's my job. You can tell me when you need new things.”

“I-I know. I just can’t help but worry sometimes. I know that it’s hard with you trying to finish college and your last season of soccer. And you are worrying about the draft. I just,” she sighs, “I just don’t want to put more on your plate is all.”

Tobin gives her sister a small smile. “I know and thank you for worrying about me, but taking care of you is my job so let me do it please.”

Y/N gives her a nod, “Alright Kid, let’s get out of here.” 

The sisters Tobin and Y/N head out of their apartment building and begin their ride to the airport. 

“Do you think that anyone will have a problem with me being there?” Y/N asks her sister nervously once they’re settled in the car. 

“I told you that I got it all cleared with coach. She knows that if she wanted me there that you would have to be there too. You have nothing to be worried about, ok. You’ve been worrying about things all day, can you take a deep breath for me?”

Y/N nods and sucks in a deep breath holding it before letting it go. “Feel better?”

“A little bit I guess.  It’s just they may say that it’s good cause they want you there, but no one wants a kid hanging around. I’ll probably just end up getting in the way.”

“One you know that’s not true, you are great to be around. And two, do you plan on getting in the way?”

“Well no, but…”

“Then you have nothing to worry about.” Tobin looks down at her little sister and sighs, “And if there is a problem you know to just come to me and I’ll handle it. You know that I’ll protect you from everyone and everything.”

“I-I just don’t want to be a burden to anyone,” Y/N whispers.

“Kid… You could never be a burden to anyone, you know that.” 

Y/N looks down to where she is picking at her fingers. Tobin takes them into her own and holds them still to keep Y/N from hiring herself, “You have to keep up with your own studies as well as with your own training. Club starts in like a month and you need to be ready.”

“Ya, but I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“How would you do that?”

“I’m not as good as everyone else.”

“Why would you be? You haven’t been called up yet, not even to the youth team. You are still young and you still have time. Just play your game, you know that I’ll always be there to help you learn new tricks. And maybe some of the other girls will come help to. Give you some pointers. Then you are sure to get your own call up soon enough. And you’ll have a leg up on the other kids because you will already know what they are looking for.”

Tobin laughs as Y/N shrugs her shoulders and they spend the rest of the ride to the airport in silence curled up next to one another. They manage to make it through security and check in with no issues and make it to their flight to California on time. 

After an exhausting five hour flight they touch down at LAX and are ready to get to the hotel. 

“You have your back pack?” Y/N nods. “Perfect, let’s get our luggage and to the hotel for a nap.”

“And food?” Y/N asks quietly.

“Yes, and food.” Tobin’s bag is one of the first to come out, but when the last one comes they still havent seen Y/N’s both sisters start to panic a little. 

“Tobs?” Y/N asks her sister. Her voice quite and almost scared. 

“It’s ok. Just give it another minute,” Even though Tobin knew that it wasn’t coming and was already locating the nearest service desk. 

When Tobin finally had enough of pretending to wait to make her sister feel better  she led her over to the service desk where they got in line to ask about the luggage. It took about 15 minutes to get through the line and another 20 to locate the bag. “Looks like it got on the wrong flight and went to Florida. We can either put it on a flight here or one back to the New Jersey airport and you can pick it up upon your return.” The lady says.

“How long would it take to get here?"

“It will most likely get in early next week."

“We are only here for two weeks, just send it back to New Jersey.”

“But Toby…” 

“It’s fine Kid, we’ll figure it out. Thank you for the help.” Tobin turns and leads Y/N out to find a car to the hotel. 

“What are we going to do?” Y/N asks, tightening the grip on her back pack. 

“What do you have in your backpack?”

“I have my school and soccer stuff.”

“Any clothes?”

“My soccer gear.”

“Alright, that will work for now. First we are going to go to the hotel, we are already running late.”

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault. Then we are going to eat, take a nap, and then see if there is some place where we can get you some clothes.”

“But we don’t have the…”

“I told you this morning that that isn’t something that you need to worry about. I’ll figure it out.”

“But…”

“I said don’t worry about it.” Tobin raised her voice a little, annoyed. 

“S-sorry,” Y/N says again looking down at her feet, tears threatening to fall. 

“Kid look at me,” Y/N doesn’t budge, Tobin kneels in front of her and gently grasps her shoulders. “Look at me, Kid. I’m sorry, I’m just a little frustrated at the situation, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. None of this is your fault. Accidents happen and we’ll figure it out.”

“Promise?”

Tobin sighs again, “Ya Kid I promise.”

Tobin stands and pulls out her phone to call an Uber as they make their way outside. Tobin stops as she feels a tug on her sleeve. “What is it Kid?” Y/N points to a couple of people in front of them holding a sign that reads ‘Heath’.

Part 2

[marimbles]

can i get an update on what is happening in the fandom nowadays?

I assume you mean the ML fandom? tbh I feel like I’ve just been floating on the fringes lately lol so I’m not sure I’m the best person to offer you a Full Report on the happenings of the ML corner of tumblr, but I’ll give it a shot! (FYI this is based on what I personally have been seeing most on my dash so I can’t tell how widespread some of these things are lol)

Buggachat finished the bakery enemies AU! <3

Anna-scribbles has had an Emilie Agreste obsession for several months because of her ongoing fic “thirteen”

the loveybug AU seems pretty popular and there’s a lot of cute art of it (I haven’t looked into it a ton but to my knowledge it’s an AU where Marinette embraces her giant crush on catwalker and creates her own alter-alter-ego called loveybug to shamelessly and anonymously flirt with him while wearing a cute pink costume with hearts on it)

There is either an increasing general obsession with Felix or like a few dedicated felix stans who continue to publicly study him under a microscope. either way I’m seeing a lot of felix lol

hamsternamedmarinette went on a crazy road trip across the USA and met a bunch of fandom people, including buggachat, ladybeug, anna-scribbles, isninoluka, and the clown formerly known as carpisuns (me lol)….or DID she? 👀

A lot of people have started rooting for adrinette to have a messy breakup in season 6—not because they hate the love square but because the drama would be interesting lol (I am one of those people, and Anna scribbles is feeding into my delusions that this could lead back to marichat lol)

There is a residual obsession with shadybug and claw noir from the Paris special back in October. Tbh I think this is the last really Big thing that happened so if you were there for that you probably haven’t missed much since then lol

I keep forgetting that there was a whole entire miraculous movie that came out last year bc the tumblr side of the fandom appears to have agreed to ignore it for the most part lol

There is a London special coming out sometime this year but I don’t think we have a date yet

No date for season 6 either but potentially end end of this year? or who knows! lol

I probably missed stuff so people can add more if they want haha

[wednesdaysraven]

my favorite wenclair fics ✶

i’ve read a bunch of fics for wenclair and i just think these are the best ones on ao3 because i think writers should have their work talked about since they work so hard on them. buckle up because this might get long! by the way, these are in no specific order!

so without further ado, let’s get into it!

the moon’s light and the wolf’s shadow

i’ll be honest, i haven’t finished this one yet but so far, i really love it! the plot is so good, the characterization is amazing, it’s a good one! word count: 23,461 status: haitus

like hollywood in me, the diamond on your ring

i am a sucker influencer/actress enid and author wednesday so i squealed when i found this. i am in love with of atomicjellyb3an’s work. word count: 67,911 status: incompleted

driving to your house in the middle of the night

another one from atomicjellyb3an! my favorite fic from them, i have this bookmarked and i come back to this one every month at least. beautiful writing, beautiful characterization, beautiful plot. i could write a twenty page essay on this fic. word count: 43,214 status: completed

hunting season

did someone say road trip?? i love fics like this! so sweet, so fun, its a wild ass ride though! gobreakaneck needs their roses honestly! word count: 179,998 status: completed

the sisyphean nightmare

i always come back to this one! it was actually one if the first full length wenclair fics i’ve ever read. all of honesttoblogjuno’s writing deserves an award, it’s just so damn good! word count: 96,991 status: completed

i know the end

i remember where i was when i started this one. this one made me ugly cry on a bus full of theater kids and that’s saying something. i come back to this one every now and then! word count: 37,196 status: completed

the dead and the dancing

this fic was a damn fever dream for while. i had read it once, didn’t bookmark it so i couldn’t find it ANYWHERE so i thought i had hallucinated reading it but my friend sent me it as a rec and i was like ‘its real???’ no but i really like this one, great plot and it’s an interesting ride! word count: 491,583 status: incompleted

the power of love (is a curious thing)

wenclair children ocs are the cutest thing. i am in love with vega addams (created by the lovely @barblaz-arts) and this is one of those fics! sora and vega’s friendship is the sweetest. word count: 10,102 status: incompleted

if we make it through december

giggling andkickingmy feet!!! the best christmas fic i’ve ever read in any fandom. it’s so soft and fluffy and 1000% worth the read. one of my favorites. word count: 34,645 status: completed

[pnsteblnme]

wrong impressions ✿ k.m.

pairing: katie mccabe x reader

summary: a misunderstanding leads to conflicts and tension between katie mccabe and arsenal’s newest signing.

warning: cursing, katie and reader being idiots, bad writing 

word count: 5.1k (i don't even know how this happened)

a/n: here’s a little something in honour of ireland's second game today ;) also, this was my first time writing something like this and english isn’t my first language, so bear with me please <3 anyway, i hope you enjoy this and i’m always happy to hear your thoughts :)

“Oh, McCabe isn’t good. She’s borderline reckless and very petulant, plays way too aggressively and all she does is collect cards for her team.”

“The fuck,” muttered Katie with a quiet scoff after hearing Arsenal’s newest signing’s words as she walked into the training facility. Not wanting to hear more comments, she quickly made her way to the locker room and sat down at her designated spot, an annoyed frown still etched onto her face.

As the brunette was tying her shoes, a shoulder nudged hers, “You excited for our new additions?” Katie looked to her left to be met with the buzzing smile of her blonde friend.

“Mhm.”

The corners of Leah’s mouth dropped, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Finishing the tie on her shoe Katie leaned back up, let out a small sigh and opened her mouth. Before she could utter a word though, the door opened.

“So, as you all know, we have two incredible players joining us this season. I’m sure you’re all acquainted with Alessia,” Jonas pointed to the taller of the two women, who sent everyone a friendly grin, “and this is Y/N Y/L/N. Before coming to us she played for Barcelona but because of an injury, our paths haven’t crossed yet,” after he finished his sentence, you raised your hand for a timid wave and looked at all the girls with a nervous smile, a blush coating your cheeks, resulting in a few excited greetings being thrown your way. “I trust that you’ll make them feel at home and yeah, that’s all. I’ll see you on the pitch in 5,” were his last words before disappearing behind the door.

Turning around to face your new team, you were welcomed with open arms - literally. In front of you, you found almost all the girls waiting to greet you, each pulling you into a hug and introducing themselves.

After you were done introducing yourself, you quickly changed. The warm welcome they gave you resulted in your heartbeat finally slowing down (maybe not to a normal pace, but considerably slower than when you arrived). Later, you would also realise that your hands had stopped shaking halfway through the training, filling your body with warmth, that felt like the sun thawing the frost off of colourful flowers on a warm spring morning.

Right now though, your shoulders slumped as you noticed that the forward you were most very thrilled to play alongside of, didn’t greet you (and if you weren’t imagining things, even sent a glare in your direction).

Shaking off those thoughts, you made your way to the pitch, walking next to Leah. “How are you feeling?” she questioned, looping her arm through yours.

“I’m literally shitting my pants,” you chuckled, “but I’m also excited to play in this amazing team like, I don’t know, I feel like I can learn so much from you.”

Leah waved you off, “Don’t worry, you’re gonna be just fine and I have a feeling it’s gonna be the other way around.” When you felt the blonde’s hand ruffling your hair, you jokingly pushed her away, muttering about how you were going to get back at her.

And that you did. The end of the training came with a scrimmage, in which Leah and you were on opposite teams. Getting the ball from Lotte, you quickly made your way towards their goal and consequently came face to face with the blonde defender. Before she could do much, you nutmegged her and sent the ball straight to the far post, Alessia scoring a goal with a beautiful header.

Fidgeting with your sleeves, you turned to your friend with a sheepish laugh, “Sorry, I just don’t like people messing up my hair.” Chuckles coming from the girl instantly relaxed you as she patted your shoulder, “That was a nice play.”

Heat crawled into your cheeks as you muttered a quiet ‘thanks’ and made your way back to your side.

Sadly, not everyone took the scrimmage as light-hearted as Leah. With the frustration growing after each goal your team scored, the game quickly became physical. You would feel the wrath of that a few moments later.

Running along the sideline, you were just about to send another ball into the penalty box when you felt cleats connecting with your ankle and your legs being swept from under you.

You let out a groan as you held your foot, trying to stand up. Rotating your ankle a bit, you attempted to take a few wobbly steps, the new blonde forward approaching you, “Are you all right? That looked like it hurt.”

“No, it’s fine, I just have to walk it off.”

Limping a few metres, you felt the pain slowly subside and glanced at the girl that had tackled you. Not seeing her making any moves to apologise nor a glimpse of remorse on her face, a crease formed between your eyebrows, wondering why Katie was acting this cold towards you.

When the game continued with you, in particular, being the one the Irish woman directed her fury at, the uncomfortable feeling in your chest grew. That was why, when Leah and you were collecting the balls that had been shot to god knows where, you inquired, “Does Katie not like me?”

“No, what makes you think that?”

Putting the last ball into the bag you shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know, I just feel like she has it out for me, you know?”

“Hm, it looked like she was already in a lousy mood before you came in, so she probably just had a bad day. I’m sure yous will hit it off tomorrow,” consoled the blonde with a comforting touch to your arm.

Alas, it didn’t seem to get better the next day.

Being on the receiving end of her tackles once again, this time even from the beginning of the training session, your patience was wearing thin. Your dislike for conflict made you keep quiet though, not wanting to cause drama on your second day and because no one else said anything, you just presumed that it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

After a particularly gruesome duel, where Katie had stepped onto your feet multiple times, you couldn’t push your agitation down anymore, the anger bubbling inside of you like an active volcano, fiery red lava spewing out of your mouth, “Okay, what the fuck did I do to you? Why do you hate me?”

Surprised at hearing your angry voice directed at her, the Irish woman turned around with a scoff, “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what you did.”

“I don’t, I wouldn’t be asking if I did, Sherlock.”

You watched as her eyes rolled into the back of her head before she turned around and marched to her position. Feeling a presence behind you, you tried to get your whirring thoughts under control, “Everything alright?”

Pulling your shoulders to your ears and letting them drop again, you returned, “Yeah, I’m not so sure about her not hating me, though,” eliciting a frown on the blonde’s face.

Unfortunately, for you two and for everyone who had to hear your petty arguments, you were paired up with Katie on one of the gym days.

For the most part, everything was fine. Even though the Irish woman couldn’t help but follow a few drops of sweat that rolled down your abs with her grey eyes, which sparked her irritation, wondering how she could be thinking about a person like you like that, you two didn’t exchange any words.

That is until you were supposed to spot Katie. Padding over to her waiting by the bench press, you thought about how you could finally relax for a moment after all the tiring exercises you had to go through.

Boy, how wrong you were.

Standing at the head of the bench you had a perfect view of Katie doing her tasks. It felt like a magnet being pulled to the strongest metal, the way your eyes were glued to the forward’s arms. Not knowing what hit you, you couldn’t pull your gaze away from the heavenly sight.

Katie noticing your dazed expression, rolled her eyes with a smirk, before an idea formed in her head. Pretending to lose her grip on the weight, she laid it down on her chest and let out struggling breaths.

After she tried to get your attention with faux breathless words, you suddenly jumped out of your stupor and quickly lifted the weight off of her.

“Do you want to kill me?!”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you mumbled, regret filling your voice as you looked down sheepishly.

Shaking her head the brunette enjoyed teasing you further, “You can’t do anything, can you?”

“I said I was sorry, relax.”

Across the room, Leah and Alessia were watching the scene unfold with confusion written over their faces, “Where did this weird tension even come from? It looks like they want to kill and fuck each other at the same time.”

“I don’t know,” Leah responded, “but I think we need to separate them or one of those two things will happen any minute now.”

These little quarrels eventually developed into a common component of Arsenal’s training sessions, even being present outside of them, like on team bonding nights.

All the girls were gathered at Leah’s house to watch a few movies and just enjoy each other’s company. Everything was fine until Katie got up from the couch to get another drink for herself. During that time you arrived at the blonde’s flat, having had an appointment before, and unknowingly sat down at the spot that was previously occupied by none other than the fiery winger.

When she strolled back into the living room and saw exactly who had stolen her spot, the brunette let out an annoyed sigh. Making her way towards you, she stopped in front of your frame, “Did you make it your personal life goal to annoy me whenever you can, or what?”

Only being met by you looking at her with those stupid eyes and your stupid button nose and a stupid mischievous grin on your face, she scoffed, “Move out of my seat, you knob.”

About to stand up, you felt a few drops of something land in your lap, which made you look up only to see the brunette raising her eyebrow, “Oh no, I’m so sorry, I guess my glass was too full.”

“Tell me, Katie, is it hard being such a relentless asshole, or does it come naturally to you?” you sent her a fake smile, before moving to the other side of the room, not before jamming your shoulder into hers though.

Before Katie could retaliate, Beth let out a tired sigh, “Girls, can we just enjoy the movie now?”, gaining agreeing mumbles from everyone else.

It all came to a head when Katie tackled Alessia, who you had grown very close to in the last two months and now considered one of your best friends.

You were running along the sideline, waiting for Alessia to pass the ball, when you heard her outcry and immediately stopped. Hastily making your way to the blonde, you kneeled down and softly put your hand on her left leg, trying to calm her down, “Oh my god, Less, are you alright?”

“It hurts,” she groaned, still holding her foot.

“Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be fine, the medics are gonna be here in a second.”

Looking up when they arrived, you also saw the woman that had caused Alessia to fall to the ground.

Only seeing red, you stood up so fast you were surprised you didn’t get whiplash, shoving the brunette with both of your arms, “What the hell is your problem?! You don’t get to just treat people like that, jackass!”

“What did you just say to me?” barked Katie as she invaded your personal space, your faces only a breath apart, meaning you could see the vein on her forehead popping out and almost smoke coming from her ears.

“You heard me, McCabe,” taking one last step towards her, your foreheads touching, you poked your index finger into her chest, “stop playing like a fucking hazardous idiot and go apologise to her right now! I know you hate me and you can come at me all you want, be my guest, but if you ever hurt her again, I’ll break your goddamn kneecaps!” Your chest heaved up and down with the rage inside of you, “Stay. The fuck. Away. From her,” punctuating each word with a jab of your finger, you gave her one last push before turning back to Alessia still laying on the ground.

With it being the last training before the first match, it wasn’t a surprise when the atmosphere was a bit tense.

So, when you accidentally bumped into the one and only Katie McCabe, because the exercise had you all running backwards, and somehow landed on top of her, her snappy remark came almost instantly, “Watch where you’re going and get the fuck off of me.”  

Putting your hands on either side of her head, you started to pull yourself up, scoffing at her overdramatic reaction, “Go take a walk and calm down, babes.”

As she quickly stood up and pushed up against your body with her glowering eyes, that reminded you of the sea after a terrible storm, the gray rolling clouds reflecting onto the almost-blue surface of the water, her intoxicating scent invading your nostrils only infuriating you further, “Why don’t you take a walk back to Barcelona?”

Having had enough of this constant back and forth, you raised both of your arms and let them fall back to your sides, “What’s your goddamn problem?!”

“You! And don’t try your stupid innocent act on me, you know exactly what you did.”

Seeing the frown on your face, Katie continued, “Unless you’re gonna admit it, you can take your shit-talking self elsewhere.”

“God, you’re so full of yourself, I’m not gonna kiss your ass and apologise for something I didn’t even do!”

“Are yo- ”

She was interrupted by Leah separating you two, “Let’s take a deep breath, ladies.” Still glaring at one another you two slowly parted ways.

The locker room was buzzing with everyone’s excitement for Arsenal’s first game of the season, excited chatter coming from every corner. As you were all about to enter the pitch for warm ups, Jonas appeared, “McCabe, Y/L/N, a minute, please.”

He waited for the other girls to leave before addressing you, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you need to get it together,” his tone emphasising his disappointment. “When I made you the offer, Y/N, I thought you two would come together as a fantastic offense, because I know Katie has wanted to be winger again for a long time now and your styles and techniques just compliment each other perfectly,” the words causing you to look at your shoes shamefully.

“Now I know that you can destroy Liverpool’s defense out there but in order to do that, I need you two to work together, okay?” he looked to the two women in front of him expectantly, causing both of them to nod, his last words only making them repeat the motion, “And if you pull anything like the the shit that went down yesterday, you’re instantly being subbed off, understood?”

Jonas’ words apparently made something inside the both of you switch. Throughout the whole game, Katie and you seemed to link up every chance you could and waltzed through Liverpool’s defense like a hazard. Even when you were behind the Irish woman, she could somehow feel your presence and get the ball to your feet. You had to admit that playing with Katie when you were both working together felt amazing, giving the impression of flying over the pitch.

Even though the game went as well as it did, you went back to being at each other’s throats afterwards.

The snarky comments exchanged in the locker room extinguishing any hope your teammates had that you would at least be civil now.

One day at lunch in the team cafeteria, Katie couldn’t help but let her gaze float towards her self-appointed enemy.

Watching as you laughed with Alessia, made her thoughts run wild. Why would you say that about her? And why was she so bugged by it, when she normally just let the nasty comments brush past her without giving them a second glance?

A fork dropping to the floor startled her, making her eyes flick towards the direction the sound came from. She could see Alessia leaning down to pick it up and noticed you putting your hand between the blonde’s head and the edge of the table, efficiently sparing the forward an uncomfortable collision with the table.

This wasn’t the first time, the brunette picked up on your kindness. All the other times, for example, you staying behind and helping the staff clean up or you giving the girl you’d walked onto the pitch with your jacket, making her wonder why you were treating her so differently.

The heavy feeling in her gut made a crease form between Katie’s eyebrows. Turning to her right she questioned the captain of England’s national team, “Why is she literally the nicest human being to everyone but me?”

“Hmm, let me think, maybe because you’ve been nothing but mean to her since day one?” spoke the blonde after tapping her chin with a faux thoughtful face that turned into an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

Grumbling and stabbing her food with her fork she retorted, “She started it.”

“What do you mean? There’s not a bad bone, not even a bad cell, in that girl’s body.”

“Well, when I came in on her first day, I heard her talking to someone and she was saying pretty nasty things about me,” Katie claimed with a defeated tone.

A confused look crossed Leah’s face, “Are you sure it was her? What did she say?”

Thinking back to said day, she tried to get the words together, “Yes, I’m a hundred percent sure, and she was saying something like ‘McCabe is way too aggressive, all she does is get cards and she just isn’t good’ and I don’t know, normally I don’t really care about what people say about me, but I was just so excited to play with her and-”

“Are you serious?!”, exclaimed the blonde incredulously.

“What?”

“Did you listen to her until the end?”

Grimacing, Katie replied, “No, why would I? So that I could hear more of her borderline offensive comments?”

Fishing for her phone in her pocket, Leah grunted, “I can’t believe you sometimes, you useless lesbian.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the Irish woman starting to feel lost now, as her friend put her phone down in front of her, a video playing.

Scanning the screen she could see the title of said video ‘Y/N Y/L/N’s first Arsenal interview’ and the fog in her brain only thickened. Then she heard a voice behind the camera, “So, what are you most excited about?”

You smiled nervously, fiddling with the rings on your finger,  “Uhm, I’m really excited to play with this team cause their style is so different and I just think, uh, I can learn a lot from these amazing girls.”

“And who are you most excited to play with?”

“Oh, that’s easy, Katie McCabe,” you told the interviewer animatedly, “many people might say like ‘Oh, McCabe isn’t good. She’s borderline reckless and very petulant, plays way too aggressively and all she does is collect cards for her team’,” you imitated while doing air quotations.

“But I’m like, have you seen this girl play? It’s amazing to watch and maybe she’s a bit more physical but it’s working, isn’t it? I don’t know, I just think it’s very admirable and just so unique cause you don’t see a lot of people playing like that, you know? Sorry, I’m rambling,” you chuckled with rosy cheeks.

The blonde taking her phone back, brought Katie back to the real world. The realisation of what she had done came crashing down on her like a ton of bricks.

She hid her face behind her hands before she muttered ashamedly, “I’ve just really been an arsehole to her this whole time for no reason, haven’t I?”

“Yup, you have,” Leah patted her on the shoulder consolingly, “but I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you apologise.”

“Well, here goes nothing.”

When you heard footsteps approaching your table, you looked up from your plate to come face to face with the most infuriating person you knew, “Hey Y/N, could we maybe talk for a minute?”

Expecting her to start another fight, you couldn’t hide your surprise. “Uhm, sure I guess,” you told her as you got up to follow her out of the crowded room, shooting Alessia a confused look and only getting a shrug in response.

You arrived outside and when she stopped, you let your gaze study the woman in front of you. With her head down and her hands fidgeting, your eyes caught a sight you never would’ve thought to see. Used to her confident and feisty persona, you were astounded when you heard her speaking in a voice softer than you’d ever heard it before.

Trying to calm herself down, Katie took one last deep breath, before rising her eyes to meet your questioning ones, “I know you hate me and that this will not make up for the horrible way I’ve treated you and the awful things I’ve said, but I still want to apologise and explain why I acted the way I did.”

Your eyes widened as you took in her words and noticed that she looked to be on the verge of crying, so you sent her an encouraging smile, which she gratefully reciprocated.

“God, this is gonna sound so dumb,” she put one hand on her forehead and the other on her hip and continued, “Uhm, you remember your first day?” You nodded your head. “Well, I came in when you had your interview and I may have overheard a bit of what you were saying, only it was just a snippet of what you actually said, so I got the impression that you hated me, which I hope I didn’t make true, because I walked away before I could hear the rest of your answer.”

“I was just so excited to be able to play with you that I felt devastated after hearing your words, and I don’t really know why I did what I did but I just want you to know that I’m very very sorry, I truly am. When Leah showed me the whole video, I felt like the biggest fool ever. I know that this doesn’t excuse my behaviour but I hope you can forgive me and if not, I totally understand! Just tell me and I won’t get in your way until the end of time,” spoke Katie with her voice wavering on a few words.

The melodious sound of your laugh is what breaks her eye contact with the floor. Perplexed, she looked at you, trying to make out what your reaction meant.

“Sorry,” you let out another chuckle, “this is just the most rom-com movie type of shit I’ve ever experienced.”

You could see the girl in front of you visibly relax at your words, her shoulders finally dropping and letting out a quiet sigh of relief.

“And I should also apologise, it was wrong of me to treat you the way I did, especially because I just joined and don’t really know what everyone’s like and I also shouldn’t’ve provoked you like that and said the things I did, so yeah, I’m sorry too. I hope we can move past this,” seeing the hopeful glint in your shimmering eyes, Katie herself felt something inside of her spark.

With a thrilled smile, the Irish woman held her hand out as she proposed, “Friends?”

A beaming grin broke out on your face, feeling a tingling sensation in your tummy, you nodded giddily and pulled the woman into a tight hug. Your arms wrapped around her back as she leaned up to snake hers around your neck, squeezing tightly.

The warmth that encompassed you couldn’t even compare to drinking a hot chocolate under your fluffy blankets with your favourite movie playing on a snowy winter night.

The following weeks were filled with Katie and you spending more and more time together. One particular day, Katie couldn’t keep her eyes nor her thoughts off of you.

It all started with her struggling to get a glass that had been placed on one of the higher shelves in the cafeteria.

She had been trying to reach the goddamn thing for at least two minutes now and was just about to give up, when she felt the heat of a body behind her. Before she could turn around, the person took one last step towards her, their front touching Katie’s back, and reached out to hand her the item she had been failing to grasp.

If the familiar smell of your vanilla scent wasn’t enough of an indication of who exactly was pressing their body (a very fit one at that, if Katie’s sinful thoughts were anything to go by) against hers, your teasing voice definitely was, “You know, I’ve always wondered, has anyone ever mistaken you for being in middle school before?”

Ripping the glass out of your hand with a glare on her face the brunette retorted, “Fuck you.”

“Don’t mind if you do.”

Seeing her dumbfounded expression only caused your smirk to spread across your whole face, enjoying the sight of the usually confident woman trying to hide the heat rising up her cheeks and squirming in her place.

You found her flushed face extremely adorable, so there was nothing else to do but squish her cheeks between your hands - and that’s exactly what you did.

With you still squishing her warm face you exclaimed, “Aww, aren’t you the cutest?”

Slapping your hands away, she grumbled something unintelligible and turned on her spot, strutting back to her table. The laughter coming from you (which still put a slight grin on her face) didn’t help her face cool down, making the teasing from Leah inevitable.

“If you two don’t get together soon, I’ll lock you in my basement until you do, I just can’t watch this anymore.”

Katie already knew the comment would irk her, so she didn’t try to resist herself, “You don’t have a basement.”

“I don’t care, I’ll find something else to lock you in!”

A few hours later, her lack of concentration led to another incident involving you. She wasn’t paying attention for a minimum of two minutes (her thoughts being on anything but the exercise) when she collided with someone.

Tumbling to the ground, she grunted at the impact of the floor and the person landing on top of her. As soon as she saw who was almost laying on top of her, every last complaint flew right out of her head.

She looked up at your eyes to find them slightly creased at the edges, “I thought we would stop meeting like this, since we’re friends now,” you laughed.

“Maybe I just like having you on top of me,” retorted the girl laying on the ground, sending you a wink, which allowed Katie to see your eyes roll into the back of your head, as you jokingly swatted her arm and walked away.

It was her last straw though, when you two were the last ones in the locker room and you pulled a box out of your bag, “Oh, I almost forgot! I made these blueberry muffins cause you said you haven’t had any in a long time and they were always your favourite.”

You handed her the box and she sent you a grateful smile, the butterflies in her stomach awakening, “That’s really nice, thank you, Y/N!”

You waved her off with a ‘No problem’ and trudged back to your bag to continue changing.

Remembering what you had wanted to add, you snapped your finger, “Also they’re glutenfree so your niece can have some if she wants! She’s coming to yours tomorrow, right?”

The butterflies reappearing with what felt like twice the power, Katie’s whole body was overflowed with a warm tingly feeling as she realised that you had remembered every little detail.

Lost for words, the Irish woman just stared at you from across the room. Unaware of the watching eyes trained on you, you took of your shirt.

On the other side, Katie stood, still in a daze from your kind gesture, and now unable to look away from your almost uncovered upper body. The way the sweat glistened on your toned abs enchanting her with a seemingly unbreakable spell. When she broke out of her stupor, she strode over to you with quick steps.

Hearing the hurried footsteps approaching, you turned around alarmed, “Wha-”

Before you could get out another word, the smaller woman had pushed you against the wall behind you, and like the oceans being pulled towards the moon, your lips found one another.

If before Katie had butterflies, she could now feel a whole zoo dancing in her tummy, a kind of warmth overtaking her that she’d never felt before. When the woman’s soft lips caressed yours, your heart stopped for a moment before picking up at double its pace.

Warm hands landed on your bare waist, pushing you further against the wall and impossibly closer together, you felt the thud of your combined heartbeats getting quicker with every second your lips were connected.  

Your hands quickly found themselves tangled in her brunette hair and when you slightly pulled on it, Katie let out a raspy groan against your lips, sending tingles shooting from your fingers to your toes, the smell of her perfume dizzying you further.

Pulling away and getting a short breath of air into her lungs, you fisted her jersey in your palms and yanked her back, her lips landing on the silky pillow that was your mouth.

Just feeling the careful swipe of her tongue on your bottom lip, you breathed out a blissful sigh before being forced apart by the need for oxygen.

Your eyes were still closed as you felt Katie’s breath wavering across your face, “Why didn’t we do that earlier?”

Finally looking at her, you were enthralled by the sight before you. Katie McCabe with messy hair, rosy cheeks, a dazed look in her dazzling eyes and her swollen red lips slightly parted would be the death of you.

“I don’t know but we need to make up for lost time,” declared the brunette with a dreamy smile and pulled you back in by your waist.

[lmaopuli]

Never Leaving

*credits to gif owner

Christian Pulisic Angst

Warnings: argument, angry Christian, sad Christian, swearing

Word count: ~1k

———

“Are you… leaving?”

You jumped at Christian’s question, not expecting him to come into your shared bedroom already. You didn’t want to look up at him yet, for him to see the tears still lingering in your eyes. You kept your gaze on the laundry you were folding, realizing it looked like you were gathering clothes to pack up and leave. You sighed, hoping and praying your voice wouldn’t give away your broken heart, “No, I’m just folding up our clothes.” You were hurt, really hurt, but you would never leave.

Christian lingered around the doorway, too nervous to come close to you yet. He had no idea what you were feeling, about the fight, about him. You still haven’t looked up at him, but if you did, you’d see the tears still lingering in his eyes, just like with you. He brought his hand up to face, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose at the memory of how he spoke to you just moments ago.

——

“I’m fucking sick of you saying the same shit over and over again every time we come home!” Christian snapped.

“What the hell am I supposed to say as your girlfriend, huh? Am I not supposed to support you?” You spat back, tired of the way he’s spoken to you, not just today but the past few weeks. “You want me to say you guys played like shit today? That you won’t be getting better? Is that what you want?”

“You keep suffocating me!” He responded. He’d regret his words later, but now, he was seeing red. “Just leave me the fuck alone!”

“Fine” you mumbled, shocked that he’d go that low. Tears were welling up in your eyes, but you turned around before Christian could see. You couldn’t deal with this anymore. “I’ll leave you alone.”

——

“I thought you wanted space. What are you doing here?” you sniffled, annoyed with yourself that couldn’t keep your emotions in check anymore.

You looked up at Christian, and his heart squeezed uncomfortably at your blotchy eyes and red nose. He did this to you. He upset his perfect, angel of a girlfriend, and he didn’t know if he could forgive himself for it.

“God, baby—fuck, I'm sorry—I don’t want space from you. I didn’t mean that,” he stumbled, but you didn’t let him finish.

“Then why did you say it? It was so much worse at Chelsea, and you never spoke to me like that then.”

You were right. Some weeks were absolute hell at his old club, but one of the things you admired most about him was that he could separate it from your relationship. You were his safe space when things got tough. He couldn’t care less about what fans were saying on social media, as long as he could come home to you. You couldn’t figure out why a few tough games at Milan, when overall he was doing great, could get to him like this.

Christian sighed, trying to figure out a way to convey how he was feeling. You could sense the turmoil in his eyes, and motioned for him to sit next to you on the bed. A few moments ago, the last thing you wanted was to speak to him—but now, you needed to know what was clearly bothering your boyfriend.

“Chris, talk to me, please.” You pleaded after he sat down, placing your hand on his knee.

“This move to Milan’s been harder than I thought it was going to be.”

Your heart dropped at his confession. The fans have been amazing to him, so have his teammates and coaching staff. What? Your brows knitted in confusion.

“I just feel like there’s been a lot of pressure from everyone with how my time at Chelsea ended,” he continued, “I wanna prove that I can do really well here, and not just for a season.”

“Baby you’re doing amazing so far—”

“But the team isn’t right now. And I’m scared they’re gonna start making me the scapegoat again.” The tears previously welled up in Christian’s eyes were now flowing down his face.

Oh.

It took you a few seconds to register what he said, and you felt sick at how long he’s been keeping this from you.

“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” You asked, trying to brush the tears from his face.

“Because this is a huge adjustment for you too. You’re in a new country, learning a new language, trying to get along with the other girlfriends and wives and—”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me about this. We’re a team, okay? You take care of me all the time, listen to my problems, give me advice,” you gently grabbed his face, making his red, teary eyes meet yours, “I wanna do that for you too.”

Christian didn’t know what to say. He tried to calm his ragged breathing, but you pulled him into your embrace, comforting him yourself, rubbing his back and leaving kisses on his hair—like he’s done with you countless times before. You had no idea how long you both were sat there, it could’ve been anywhere from a few minutes to an hour.

Christian mumbled something into your neck, but you couldn’t understand him with the way he was pressed into your body.

“What was that, baby?” you asked, imploring him to repeat what he said. He reluctantly lifted his head from your neck. His eyes were still a little red and cheeks had some remnants of tears, but he was looking a lot better.

“I said I’m terrified to lose you,” he said softly, voice cracking slightly.

You felt a pit in your stomach, tears pricking your eyes for the third time that night. Pecking the corner of his mouth, you whispered back, “You’re never gonna lose me,” and then you pressed your lips against his, showing him you weren’t going anywhere, that you would never leave.

———

Christian is my first footballer love, and this fic was so out of my comfort zone, but I hope you Puli girls enjoyed it 🫶🏼 as always, feedback, reblogs, and likes are so so appreciated :) MUAH

[jeridandridge]

Autumn Days

The giddy excitement Melissa feels as she drives is enough to make her vibrate. You were in the passenger seat as usual, looking at the map on your phone while you two head for the cider mill. Melissa had a secret, one that was on a silver band hidden away in her bookshelf at home. Now, driving in the crisp morning air Melissa glances over unable to stop the warm smile spreading across her lips as the sun rays come through the window giving your hair a warm glow and your black sunglasses sparkle.

“If we keep going straight we’ll hit Main Street and it’s right there.” You tell your girlfriend, completely unaware of her loving gaze.

As you two pull into the grassy parking area you beam like a little kid rounding the truck to hold Melissa’s hand.

“I haven’t been to one of these places since I was a kid.”

“Yeah? Well we’re pulling out all the stops.” Melissa beams lacing your fingers together as you walk through the entrance. Taking in a deep breath you smell cinnamon and cider making you shimmy your shoulders in excitement.

“Hayride and apple picking first?”

“You bet, hon.”

As you two walk through the crowd you find the little stand to pay to get on the hayride and offer Melissa your hand to climb up onto the makeshift seats. “Covered in hay.” You chuckle. “I bet you’re already thinking about what you can bake with the apples we pick.”

Melissa grins squeezing your hand. “And the pumpkins we’re gonna carve.”

She looked like a little kid in a candy store, bright eyed and a permanent smile etched onto her lips. Looking over you can’t help but squeeze her hand grinning like an idiot. She made you feel warm and fuzzy, alive.

As the afternoon goes on you carry your bag of apples over your shoulder as you walk through the bakery and shop looking at all the sweet treats. With a handful of Carmel apple suckers between your fingers you weave around other people and strollers getting to the cider.

“Baby, do you want a jug of cider for the house?”

“Yeah! We can use it as a mixer.” Melissa grins. “You need all those suckers?” She laughs.

“Of course I do! They’re seasonal, Mel!” You smile happily carrying everything to the checkout.

When you two come out of the store you hold onto both bags in one hand and Melissa’s with the other, happily intertwining their fingers.

“I don’t wanna put pressure on you, but I’m gonna kick your coolie at carving.”

You quirk a brow eyeing the playful smirk on her lips. “You’re on, Schemmenti.”

Back at home with a candle burning, cider drinks made, and a cozy fall playlist going you and Melissa stand at the opposite sides of the plastic covered table with a sucker between your lips. Standing with a determined look on your face you finally come up with an idea, not having a clue as to what’s going on with Melissa.

The redhead is already holding the pumpkin back, drawing her design. She tries to keep her hand steady as she writes.

“I got you big time, Schemmenti.” You grin getting started on your carving by taking the top off.

Melissa shakes her head with a smirk taking her time with the carving not wanting to finish too soon. As you get to carving yours you stand up and hum and bop along to Don’t Fear The Reaper.

“You’re so cute.” Melissa chuckles watching you concentrate on your work, the little crinkle between your eyes being one of your favorite mannerisms.

“I’m very cute.” You grin right back at her. “Don’t try to sweet talk me. I’m winning this thing.”

“I dunno about that one, Tesoro.”

You smile flicking pumpkin guts onto the plastic with a scrunched up nose not thinking of anything going on from the other side of the table. When all is said and done Melissa stands up getting the pumpkin guts off her hands with a towel

“Are you done already?” You chuckle, “let me see.”

“No!” Melissa panics. “Not yet, we gotta wait for the reveal with the little lights.” She recovers easily. You nod and open the package for the little fake candles.

“Here, I’ll do those and spin em around for you to see em.” Melissa tells you with a giddy smile. There was definitely something going on.

“Okay,” you chuckle going over to flick the lights off so you can get the full effect.

Melissa’s hands shake as she opens up the top of the pumpkin, the smell is almost too much in the moment with her senses on overload. She’s never been so nervous in her life. Placing the battery powered lights in the pumpkins she turns yours around first smiling at the witch design.

“I carved Kristen, you like it?” You joke.

Melissa laughs holding onto the other pumpkin. “I really do, hon. You got her nose just right.” You were definitely the one for her.

Carefully turning the pumpkin around, she keeps her eyes on you. When you see the words carved and glowing you let out a gasp, your eyes going over the words over and over again. Four words that change everything.

Moving to stand beside you Melissa wraps her arms around your waist.

“Will you marry me, hon?”

Spinning in her arms you beam like an idiot pulling her into frantic kiss.

“Yes!” You laugh, “oh my god, Mel yes!”

Melissa squeezes you in a tight hug before holding the gorgeous engagement ring out to slide onto your finger.

Cupping her cheeks in your hands you lean in giving her a sweet kiss before grinning once again.

“Best day ever.”

[callme-aprilroseisha04]

I so badly wanna know what's going on with Sonic in your Voices AU!!! (This is an invitation for you to info dump if you so desire)

OK so originally I had this MONSTER essay on what this was about but im really really bad at explaining things and I don’t want to leave you hanging forever so instead I’ll just give you a basic rundown of the concept and all the plot points. Also, important thing to mention, I HAVEN’T FINISHED SEASON 2 YET. Y’know, where the majority of my AU takes place. Haven’t finished that. Haven’t even seen Chaos Metal Sonic. Sorry, sorry, I know, I’m a fake fan but in my defense every time I turn on the show I want to bang my head against a wall, tear all my skin of, and run in circles at the speed of light (in a good way) (but also in a bad way) (a good bad way). Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I need to quickly explain the concept behind this. In the first episode of Season 2, Avoid the Void, Sonic doesn’t realize that he can run out of the Ghost World. He’s stuck there. This also means that he can’t save shadow from falling into the void (this is why shadow doesn’t have his arm or his leg in my au illustrations, he wakes up before he can be fully disintegrated, but he did lose some limbs.) Back to Sonic, since he has nothing better to do, he tries to take a nap at the beach where his friends are at and starts “taking” to Tail’s projection. Then, the voice comes. I don’t really know how to describe this. There is a voice, like the name says, but it’s also a lot more complicated than that. When “it” comes, Sonic can’t hear anything; or, well actually he can hear things (sometimes the noise feels oppressively loud) but he doesn’t know what people are saying, so to him it just sounds like gibberish. Also, this isn’t always true, (it just depends) but his eyes won’t focus properly and they get really blurry, like can’t see what’s in-front of you blurry. Also, headaches! Because apparently we needed to make this even worse for him for some reason!!!!! It’s not at its worst here, but as you can expect, he is pretty disoriented after it’s done. Shadow comes back to the ghost world, Sonic is understandably surprised by HIS LACK OF TWO LIMBS, he gets the tech and bounces, yadayadayada, all the stuff. More importantly, now we get Nine back! Chapter two; Sonic goes to Boscage Maze, they’re ripping the place up, Sonic goes to help Thorn, mini “voice” episode (as an appetizer), he gets a tech upgrade from Nine, he goes to fight, gets the main course “voice” episode, Nine gets in trouble cause emo tween egg boy caught him talking to Sonic trying to figure out what’s wrong with him and why he’s talking to himself, Sonic gets the shard from Thorn, he runs of with it, emo eggboy sends a message that they’re gonna kill Nine unless Sonic gives them the shard, Nine tells him not to, he goes anyway and THROWS THE SHARD INTO THE OTHER SHARDS THE EGGMEN HAD COLLECTED SO HE CAN SAVE NINE, (he tries to get the shards back but they got swarmed by robots) and finally they get out and go to the ghost world. Shadow is really, REALLY mad at him for trading a SHARD just to save his little kit boy and ALSO mad because Sonic wants to keep Nine there, to keep him safe. Eventually, Shadow gives in after Nine mentions that he could build Shadow a prosthetic, but he adds the clause that the moment Nine finishes the prosthetic, he leaves. After that, Sonic goes to get the rest of the shards back while Nine makes Shadow’s prosthetic at Tail’s workshop. For the next few chapters, Sonic get into some sort of a routine; Try to get the shards, come back to the ghost world to rest, squabble with Shadow, chat with Nine for a little, and repeat. Some important things to mention from this period are: 

Nine is intentionally taking his time making Shadows prosthetic (Sonic’s idea) as well as making it break really easily & adding a secret “feature” that allows him to $&@!?ING electrocute him from afar using a remote implanted in his mechanical tails (both and especially the last one NOT Sonic’s idea); 

Sonic doesn’t actually sleep during this time, he just takes 3 hour naps so he can get back home quicker, which only worsens the voice thing; 

Shadow, (who doesn’t understand anything about what’s going on with Sonic other than the vague sense that something’s wrong with him, unlike Nine who got a basic lil explanation from Sonic after asking wtf happened at boscage maze) is getting increasingly frustrated with Sonic because of how long it’s taking for him to get all the shards, as well as his continual trusting of Nine.

This continues for a while, those “episodes” get worse and worse, Sonic grows closer to Nine and tension keeps building between Sonic & Shadow until <drumroll………>

THE EGG COUNCIL COMES!!!!! Again, since I still haven’t seen season two of Sonic Prime, I don’t really know how this is gonna happen, but I do know it’s gonna happen. (btw Nine finishes Shadow’s prosthetic & leaves like a day before the egg council comes.) This is a massive battle and I have like a whole thing on how it’s gonna play out but the important things to note for the story are: Shadow finally sees Sonic’s “episodes” play out in front of him and he is understandably confused and concerned, but their in a battle right now so he can’t really do anything about it and <another drum roll please…..>

SONIC TRIES TO CHOP OFF HIS F$!?KING ARM! Ok, I definitely need to explain this a little more. During the first occurrence of the “voice,” it mentions something about them and Sonic being the same person, & basically says “I am a part of you, Sonic. The only way to get rid of me is to get rid of you.”  Edgy stuff like that, y’know? Well, during this one, it repeats that phrase again and in true Sonic fashion, he decides to do something incredibly stupid, risky, and drastic based on even dumberreasoning. You see, the voice said it was a part of him, not all of him. It also said that in order to get the voice out, he’d have to “get rid” of himself too. So, using this logic, if he only gets rid of a part of him, then he gets to keep living without the voice constantly haunting his every move! This is admittedly pretty silly logic, but he was in the middle of what is essentially a scaled up panic attack, so cut him some slack, OK? He tried to use a piece of scrap metal that fell off the robot to remove it, which unsurprisingly doesn’t work very well. It only ends up cutting halfway, but Sonic can’t really tell that it’s still attached since he’s so tired, & “it” did shut up after he stabbed his arm open soooooooo¯\_(ツ)_/¯. He manages to drive the egg council off to their own dimension before passing out from blood loss, leaving Shadow to rush him to Tail’s workshop so he can get bandaged up, made harder with Shadz’s new leg getting absolutely trashed. When Sonic finally wakes up, Shadow is confused, deeply concerned, and angry with him for almost killing himself for seemingly no reason. Sonic, however, is incredibly calm about the whole thing and nonchalantly explains why he cut off his arm during the battle, until he realizes his arm is still attached to him 

Here’s a comic page of the next scene:

He leaves to go get more shards and get Nine back to fix Shadows leg, which Shadow predictively grumbles about. This is a pretty light chapter, besides the ending:

Nine and Sonic are hanging out, having fun, the usual. Nine points out how cheery Sonic is right now, and Sonic starts to explain why he’s in such a good mood while Nine passes a small knife for him to hold while he does other things. Sonic, in the middle of his explanation, is cut off by…… “it” and proceeds to frantically rip off his bandages and try to cut the remainder of his arm off with the knife Nine gave him. Nine, who has no idea what’s going on, tries to wrangle back the knife from Sonic. In the struggle, Sonic ends up permanently scaring Nine on one of his eyes. It was an accident of course, but Nine bolts out of the workshop and zaps the door so Sonic can’t chase after him all the same. Sonic breaks down. 

After a bit, (about 30 minutes or so,) and after seeing and briefly meeting with Nine to ask where Sonic has been since he should be with him at the workshop; Nine responded with a suggestion to check for himself, Shadow decides to take Nine’s advice and go. Here’s the scene I wrote for this, as well as the comic I made (they have some dialogue differences, but the general idea is the same.)

“Sonic,”

He didn’t even look up. He was completely unfazed, almost expecting it.

“Sonic!”

Finally realizing who it was, he made a soft gasp, which, however small, was enough for Shadow to know he was listening.

“Do you know how big of a mess you’ve just made?”

They both stayed silent.

“Let me get this straight: That, … thing came back,”

The blue hedgehog sitting on the floor appeared perfectly still in the darkness of Tail’s old workshop.

“So you decided that it would be a good idea to try to cut your arm off again, even though it clearly didn’t work the first time, and I explicitly said not to, because we didn’t have the medical supplies to patch you up after,”

This time, he made a slight nod downwards.

“And when the fox tried to stop you, you hit him in his FUCKING eye? Is that all? Does it get any worse than that?”

The hedgehog didn’t respond. He was focused on something else.

“Are you even listening?”

Complete. Silence.

“Of course not. Of course you’re not listening. You never have, so why start now, huh?”

Shadow broke into a grin.

“You can’t listen to anyone, can you? Not your friends, not your allies, not even your own family! You’re Sonic the Hedgehog. The arrogant, narcissistic, naive, idiot hero who destroyed his own world because he couldn’t slow down. That’s all you are.”

Still nothing. He got angrier.

“I’m TIRED of your NONSENSE! I’m TIRED of you just sitting around having a PITY PARTY over something YOU CAUSED YOURSELF!”

Shadow grew quiet.

“I’m tired of your games, Sonic.”

A cold, hard, stare crossed the black and red hedgehog’s face.

“SO GET UP ALREADY!”

He forcefully pulled him off the ground, and for the first time during this whole conversation, Sonic spoke. He… screamed, a scream so loud you could hear it from a mile away. 

Shadow let go. 

Then, he slowly lowered his hand to his face, and …. No. The hedgehog gazed into the person standing before him, looking for something, anything, any semblance of the hedgehog he knew, but all that met him was an empty husk that he could barely even recognize.

“I-”

Sonic ran past him. He was gone. And Shadow didn’t know if he would ever come back.

“I’m sorry.”

———————————————————————

Sonic runs into the New Yoke rebel base and patches himself up. He’s able to get two shards from the egg council, but the rebel base is found in the process. There’s only one left, besides the Grim shard. Before Sonic leaves, Shadow tries to talk to him for a moment, but once he got a hold of him, he doesn’t know what to say. Does he apologize? Would that make things worse? Is he just supposed to wait it out and hope Sonic’s friends will help him? Sonic is still able to collect the shards, so they’re still getting back home, but what will happen after that? As much as Shadow hated to admit it, Sonic and his friends were just about the only force that could stop The Doctor from completing whatever world ending scheme he cooked up that week, other than himself. If he …. If something bad happened to Sonic after this, and he couldn’t get back up from it, and if he couldn’t pick up the slack, then….

He didn’t know what would happen. 

Shadow is barely able to get a word in before Sonic leaves to get the last shard. There’s nothing left to do.

Before we move on to the next plot point in the story, i want to talk about Nine for a second, since we haven’t really gotten the chance to explore him at all yet. A quick little thing I want to note is that Nine knows what the plan is in the AU. Get the shards, put them together, and save this world. He is planningto betray Sonic in this. At the same time, he’s also a lot closer to him. They hang out more, they chat more, and both of them feel the other is the only one on their side right now. Nine reasons that he can just convince Sonic to come with him, since they’re friends after all. He doesn’t really pay Shadow any mind, just thinking of him as an antagonistic coworker, not a real threat. The zapper he put in his leg was just a backup plan, incase he couldn’t fight him himself for one reason or another. Sonic and Nine were a team. They wouldn’t hurt each other. Until they did. Until Sonic did. After the incident, all of the trust between the two is gone. Nine doesn’t blame Sonic per say, he knows that Sonic was just desperate for it to stop, but he’s still angry. He’s angry at himself for trusting him. For trusting that he wouldn’t get hurt. From this point onwards, neither of them try to talk to each other. Nines plan only changes slightly.  He won’t try to convince Sonic to come with him. He won’t make that mistake again. 

Sonic’s feelings are a bit more complicated than Nine’s. He wants to fix everything, but he can’t. He wants everything to go back to normal, but too much has happened for that to even be a possibility. He wants everything to just stop for a minute, to just let him rest, but no matter what, it won’t. He just has to keep going. He just has to keep moving forwards. 

Sonic gets the last shard (Sonic and Shadow have to fight off the egg council again; it’s pretty awkward), and Nine finally puts his plan into motion. Using a machine he built while Sonic wasn’t around, he creates a portal to the Grim, his new home. Sonic begs Nine not to do this, that they’re friends, but that only makes Nine angrier. If they were friends, then Sonic would want to help him, if they were friends, then Sonic would’ve listened to him, and if they were actually, really friends then Sonic WOULDN’TV’E DONE THIS TO HIM.

Shadow had been outside the whole time listening to this, and he has heard enough of Nine’s ramblings. He lunged straight at Nine, but just as he’s about to reach him…. ZAP.  They both stare down at Shadow’s limp, burned body. Sonic’s head started spinning rapidly. He couldn’t tell who was in front of him, he couldn’t tell what was going on, he couldn’t tell where he was or who he was or why he was doing any of this at all. All he knew was that Shadow. Was. Dead. Because of him. Because hedecided to trust him. He spin-dashed straight into the kit’s chest, pressing him deeper and deeper into the rough, ragged cavern floor. One of his mechanical tails snapped from the shear force the spin dash on his body. Sonic slowly picked the broken hunk of metal, held it above the little fox’s body, and …

He ran as far as he can go. He ran and ran until he just couldn’t anymore and broke down in the middle of f@!king boscage maze. They’re dead. Both of them are dead. And it’s his fault isn’t it? If he had listened to Shadow about Nine then he wouldn’t had gotten electrocuted. If he had listened to Nine then Nine wouldn’t have betrayed them. If he had listened to his friends then none of this would’ve happened in the first place. But he didn’t. And now they’re all dead. So why even try? Why even try to help people if you only end up hurting them? What’s the point? What’s the point of anything anymore? Sonic’s grip on sanity finally snaps, when someone finally finds him….

It’s Thorn. She’s been watching Sonic this whole time and is understandably disturbed by the whole, watching someone have a meltdown thing. Seeing that Sonic has seemingly calmed down, she reaches to ask what happened to him, why he was so scared, but it was too late. Sonic grabbed Thorn by the neck, just before Mangey, Prim, and Gnarly came looking for her. Meanwhile:

Shadow tackles Nine, shoving him into the portal and just barely managing to close it before he got back. But now, both Shadow and Nine are both stranded. Without the shards, Nine can’t create a portal to escape the Grim. Shadow can’t enter any of the shatter spaces, so even if he could leave the ghost world, he’d still be trapped. They’re both stuck. 

Back with Sonic, the boscage maze crew are still trying to snap him out of it as he attacks them and their home. Prim keeps arguing this is pointless, that they should just beat him up until he leaves, but Thorn won’t let that happen. Sonic’s still in there. He has to be. This gamble fails, the forest is mostly destroyed and Mangey is injured. (btw the boscage maze stuff I just talked about isn’t very plot relevant, just wanted to mention it cause I could.) When Sonic finally leaves boscage, he plans to go to the other realities as well, destroying them one by one. But, for some reason, he decides to go to the Grim instead. He’s not quite sure why, but goes anyway. Why not, after all? 

Nine has been on edge the entire time he’s been in the Grim. It made sense, after all. Sonic was still alive, and presumably, still looking for the last shard. His best bet was to try to find it before he found him. Nine had been searching for about a day and a half, getting increasingly desperate by the hour. He wished he had stolen the tech he gave to Sonic, or made another one that could help him track where the shard was. Suddenly, Sonic arrives. And Nine’s not exactly happy to see him again. Sonic immediately starts attacking, Nine trying as hard as he can to get a hit in. As they’re fighting, Nine has a realization. He can use this to his advantage. All he has to do is keep Sonic chasing him and his shoes will tell him where the last shard is. Then, try to trigger the “voice” so he can get the shard. Finally, finish. the. job. Unfortunately, the second step doesn’t go to plan. He’s able to get the shard but…….

Sonic gets to him before Nine could run off with it.

And when he watched him bleed out, when he watched the blood pour out of his chest, when he realized that he was dead, that there was no way he could come back from this, no way he could still miraculously be alive, no chance that he could ever fix what he had done, Sonic fully accepted what he had become. A mindless, murderous, monster.

Shadow has been waiting this whole time; waiting for Sonic, waiting for the last shard, and waiting for a chance to actually apologize for what happened at the workshop. But that chance had already passed, it seemed. Sonic slowly walked into the cave, where everything started, Grim shard and metal tail both in hand. The two hedgehogs met eyes. Sonic stood in shock for a minute, then smiled. One last person to kill.  He hopped down from the cave’s mouth, tossed the shard to the side, and gripped the bloody scrap metal harder. Then, he lunged. They start battling it out as Shadow tries to put the pieces together on what happened. Sonic keeps teasing and joking with Shadz while they’re battling it out. Eventually it just devolve into rants about how stupid everything is, and how stupid he was for ever thinking he was a good person. When Shadow finally gets a good look at how deteriorated Sonic’s mind has become, he can’t help but wonder what he could’ve done to stop this. But it’s too late for that now. He was too slow. Shadow eventually gets the upper hand and corners Sonic, toppling him over. Here’s the passage I wrote for the next scene: 

——————————————————————

Shadow grasped the jagged piece of metal and held it just above the blue hedgehog’s skull, shaking with what he couldn’t tell was rage or fear. Sonic’s eyes stared up at him, his maniacal grin completely wiped. Instead, a blank expression crossed his face. It wasn’t exactly fear, it wasn’t exactly shock, it wasn’t exactly sadness and it wasn’t exactly relief. It was…. everything, all mashed into one giant, unreadable expression. For once, Shadow felt he genuinely understood Sonic. For once, he knew exactly what he was feeling. Shadow dropped the blade. He hugged him.

“Wh-?”

“Because you need it.”

Sonic couldn’t hold back any longer. The tears that he had been repressing for so long now streamed down his cheeks like waterfalls as he leaned further and further into Shadow’s embrace. All the words he had wanted to say for so long spilled out of his mouth in a giant river, jumbled and broken and completely incoherent as he tried to explain it all, as he tried and tried and tried to apologize for everything he had done. 

“I-I didn’t-”

“Shhh”

“I j-just-”

“Shhh”

“I c-couldn’t”

“It’s OK. Sonic, look at me.”

He lifted up Sonic’s tear stricken face with his hand, staring into his eyes, tinted with pain.

“It’s all gonna be OK.”

the end.

———————————————————————

And that’s it! This took a while to write, so thanks for sticking around through it all, that was really cool of you. A few little notes about the epilogue & after story.

Epilogue:

I need to clear something up before I can start discussing what happens in the epilogue. You may have noticed some of the Sonic art I’ve posted (mostly the ones with Sonic using a prosthetic arm) mentioned something about an epilogue. This is a mistake. What past me was trying to say was that this was from the after story. I just forgot the word for it, sorry! With that out of the way, let’s begin. After Sonic’s finally cried it all out, they both get up and he thanks Shadow for the hug. Shadow accepts, and there’s a cute lil scene where the two of them are just… talking, while they go to grab the last shard from the top of the mountain to put it back in its place. After they’re done, Sonic hesitates for a moment. Should he go back to them? After everything, he doesn’t really believe that they would want to see him, not after what he’d done. But Shadow reassures him that if HE could forgive Sonic, then his friends probably would too. They both go their separate ways, and Sonic finally gets to see his friends again. He (tries) to explain what happened, why he’s missing an arm and covered in blood, all that stuff, and they are understandably horrified at…. EVERYTHING he’s saying but ultimately forgive him. They all leave to get chili dogs, and we end with the whole gang minus Shadow having a picnic and Sonic FINALLY taking a nap on Tail’s tails.

After Story: 

I don’t have much of this part planned out outside from a prosthetic design for Sonic and the BAREST of story outlines so I’m just gonna make a bullet point list.

Eggman steals the paradox prism

Everyone (including Shadow) gets together to make a plan to steal it back

Sonic messes up the plan somehow and starts freaking out

Shadow yells at him, making it worse

Sonic runs away and has a panic attack 

After he calms down a little, Shadow goes to apologize 

They go back and come up with a new plan

It works & they all go get some food (including Shadow, after a lot of convincing)

———————————————————————

Final, FINAL Notes: OH MY GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE IN ONE WEEK OH MY GOD. thank you again so much for reading all of this this is so long oh my freaking god why’d I make this so long? uh, this mostly serves as a reference sheet so you know what scene im drawing so I can stop getting questions on what is going on. speaking of questions, if you have any, ask! im bad at explaining stuff, so im sure there’s PLENTY. just to make sure im not getting anyone’s hopes up btw, i dont know if I’ll actually end up making this a full fic, mostly cause ive never made one before & i dont know how to use ao3 yet :( feel free to use any and all ideas mentioned within this mega-essay with or without credit, i support you! with this last, last, LAST note, I think I will leave you be.

(also sorry that this took so long to write, it got deleted 3 separate times so I had to start over haha :))))))))))

[dragongirl028]

Onyx Equinox: All Hope is NOT Lost!

So for those of you who don't know, Anna Lencioni (the wife of Onyx Equinox creator and Executive Producer, Sofia Alexander) has begun to regularly host live streams on Twitch every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon to chat with fans while animating segments of her upcoming Indie series Enceladus V. Who should walk in and join for a little while on the latest stream, but Sofia herself (shocker)!

Not just that, but the two divulged on some super juicy, super hopeful information regarding the future of Onyx Equinox, and, let me say, folks: All hope is NOT lost on this series! There's a chance we'll be getting more information, and possibly even more seasons, in MUCH due time. Here's every detail I noted down from the stream relating to the future of Onyx Equinox (SPOILER WARNING (duh)!!!):

• Sofia wanted to explore K’in in a more nuanced way in season 2; he was going to have a lot of growth in that season, since he finds out Yun never wanted to be an ulama player, and was pressured into it by his twin brother • “I think you should come onto my stream and tell everyone what would’ve happened in season 2… we gotta schedule that one… we might have to do an English and Spanish simulcast.” - Anna • Ship-hinting/queer characters/more LGBTQ+ representation in Onyx Equinox: Yes, yes, and yes. More info will be given in the exposition stream • Gustavo “would probably work for free” on future seasons • “Crunchyroll doesn’t give a SINGLE fuck.” High Guardian Spice's OST was released, and Crunchyroll didn’t care about that • Gustavo technically owns Onyx Equinox’s OST, he’ll likely be the one to release it, once he’s less busy

• If properly finished, Onyx Equinox would have three seasons AND a movie; the movie would be pretty much an origin story, focusing on Tezcatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl vs. Cipactli • Crunchyroll DID ask Sofia to write a season 2, but then the merger with Sony happened, and, well, we know what happened from there... • Coyolxāuhqui was going to be in season 2 as a “major fan” of Mictecacihuatl, and [Micteca] was going to be on “the good side… one of the heroes, so-to-speak.” • “There is a contract. I think Sofi has rights [to Onyx Equinox] in her version, but we haven’t explored it yet, and I think we need to.” • “I have become a little bit selfish about sharing more [about Onyx Equinox and the characters], because I feel like the industry already sucked me dry… eventually, I’ll be healed enough to say ‘Yeah, let’s give it another try, and fight for this.’ I feel that if Onyx is meant to be told, it’ll be told, even if it takes a little bit.” - Sofia • Final words of the stream: “We’ll keep you updated on the Onyx Equinox exposition stream!”

So, yes! As Miracle Max from The Princess Bride has said, Onyx Equinox is "only mostly dead". Will we need to wait while for more information and content? Absolutely. Will it be worth it? AB-SO-LUTE-LY! The Gods have heard us, folks! Onyx Equinox someday, will be back!

[i-am-grell]

I’m Back! Throw Anime at Me!

If you’re new here, I suck at starting and finishing series and making choices, so I let Tumblr pick which anime I’ll watch next.

I’ve just returned from vacation, and have the freedom once again to include longer series - and long long series (description of how that’ll work below with the propaganda) - in these polls!

As always, propaganda* (*rambles about series I haven’t finished and how little I know about series I haven’t started yet, etc) below the poll. You’re welcome to reblog if you wanna bully your followers into voting for your fave. Other people’s followers and assorted Tumblr users: you don’t have to know me, follow me, or like me to throw anime at me. You don’t even have to like anime if you just wanna press a button. Go wild.

Propaganda:

How the long long series will work in my polls:

We all know some anime series are hundreds - even thousands - of episodes long. When it comes to these polls, rather than straight-shotting through these beasts, I’ll break them up by however the series is naturally divided (by season or arc - whatever that series has chosen). If there’s a shorter season/arc, it may be combined into the next one (for instance if one arc has 16 episodes and the one after has 30, I’ll watch 46eps for that poll option, since that’s pretty manageable. We’ll play it by ear, folks). I’ll always be specific in the propaganda about how far I’ll be watching for that particular poll and update my pinned post with my progress for that specific series after. The series may not show up in back-to-back polls for the sake of taking breaks and not burning myself out on the same thing.

Rambles about the options:

Blue Exorcist - I watched everything available circa 2014/15ish, but now there’s more? Apparently? I guess? Cool! I’ll probably rewatch what I have seen since it’s been a while and proceed from there.

Free! - I watched ISC and ES as they were airing. In sub. And y’all know I prefer dubs (of course I went back and watched it when there was finally a dub). But while everything past Eternal Summer was airing, I was in my busy period… 😬 Still have to finish it - but to be clear, I will be marathoning everything, starting yet again with Iwatobi Swim Club. Also I absolutely don’t mean to influence the vote but the longer Free! stays in these polls, the more 50% Off! quotes I get to use. If you ever see “backstroke for days,” assume I’ve run out.

Zombie Land Saga + Revenge - This has been in the polls before and I’m sure many of you have seen my propaganda for it before. TLDR: Love it, wanna finish it, TERFs aren’t welcome here 😌

Bungo Stray Dogs - I think about Dazai at least once a day and I haven’t even watched this show. I have 1) seen pictures of this man 2) listened to anime tiktok simps talk about this man. Do with this what you will.

One Piece - There’s a quote from an episode of Um, Actually… where Mike Trapp says he hasn’t read Wheel of Time because, while he’s always meant to, it “feels like nerd homework.” One Piece is my “feels like nerd homework.” For the purpose of this poll option, if chosen, I will start One Piece by watching the first arc.

Mashle - Anime OP make brain go brrr. Also from what I understand, it’s regular guy brute-forcing his way through Legally Distinct Hogwarts.

[chicgeekgirl89]

Festive Friends- Read on AO3

Rating: T

Words: 8600

This one is for @strandnreyes as part of the @tarlos-santa 2023 exchange! I chose the prompt: AU - Carlos and TK unknowingly have each other for the office secret santa exchange. Up to you if they’re pining idiots, “enemies”, secretly dating, or anything else! Hope you enjoy and have the most festive of holidays!

“Good morning Mr. Reyes.”

Carlos looks up to find the office intern, Mateo, standing cheerily next to his desk, a stack of envelopes in his hand. “Good morning Mateo. And again, you can call me Carlos. Mr. Reyes really isn’t necessary.”

“Sorry Mr. Reyes, I’m just not really used to being like, a real adult yet I guess,” Mateo says sheepishly. 

Carlos keeps a chuckle to himself and doesn’t admonish the kid again. “I understand. Whatever you feel comfortable with is fine.”

“Cool. Thanks Mr. Reyes. I brought your mail over for you.”

“Thank you,” Carlos says, accepting the stack from him.

“Can I get you anything? A coffee? Oh! I think Mr. Strand has some new kind of energizing smoothie or something in the break room. Although, it looked kinda gross to me,” Mateo says.

The thought of that smoothie sends a shiver down Carlos’ spine. He hasn’t known Owen Strand for very long, but his health nut tendencies have quickly become too much for Carlos’ taste. “No, that’s okay. I don’t need anything right now. Besides, your job here is to learn about the business, not fetch everyone’s coffee.”

“Right. Yes. Learning. I love learning all the things. Hey, are you coming to the office tree lighting on Friday afternoon? I heard they’re gonna have those little pigs in a blanket.”

Carlos’ eyes dart back to his screen and the half finished email staring at him. “Um, yeah. I’ll be there for a little bit.”

“Awesome!” Mateo seems genuinely thrilled and Carlos once again has to bite back an amused smile. The kid is ninety nine parts enthusiasm and one part overly helpful. “Well I’ll let you get back to it. Lots of…what exactly does HR do?”

“Emails,” Carlos says. “Lots of emails.”

“Right. Sounds fun. Good luck with that!”

Mateo sends him a parting wave and then disappears around the side of his cubicle. 

Things have been absolutely crazy at PD and Sons since they merged with 126 Designs a few months ago. Owen Strand had been brought in to manage the merger and insisted on hiring a significant number of new staff. Onboarding the new hires like Mateo has been a ton of work, especially since Owen insisted on being extremely involved in the entire process. Carlos has been in non-stop meetings for weeks and today is the first day he hasn’t felt completely overwhelmed in forever.

He flips through the stack of mail, tossing a few random flyers in the recycling, and setting aside the important envelopes to open later. He wrinkles his forehead when he finds a folded up piece of red paper at the bottom of the stack. When he opens it his eyes immediately widen in horror.

What. The. Hell?

“Lexi.” He stands up and looks down into the cubicle next to him where his work wife is busy with some kind of design project. “Why did I just get a paper telling me who my Secret Santa is this year?”

“I signed you up because I knew you wouldn’t do it otherwise. It’s the season of giving and part of that means giving up your Grinchy ways and pretending like you’re interested in getting to know all the new people in the office,” Lexi says without looking up at him.

His jaw drops. “Okay, first of all, I’m not uninterested in getting to know them. I just haven’t had time to get to know them. And secondly, I hate Secret Santa. Nobody ever really knows what to get you, so you end up with all this random crap and candy that you don’t want and it all sits in a drawer for three or four years until finally you throw it out.”

She finally stops and turns to look at him. “Wow. Okay Uncle Scrooge. First of all,” she echoes him, “it’s not Secret Santa, it’s Festive Friends. Not everybody celebrates Christmas. Get your terminology right. And secondly, it’s not about getting good gifts, it’s about spreading joy for the holiday season. So take the Christmas tree out of your ass and start fa la la-ing with the rest of us.”

“Lexi,” he grinds out her name between his teeth and quickly glances around to make sure no one is in earshot. “I got T.K.”

Lexi is the only one in the office who knows what an incredible disaster meeting T.K. Strand has been for his life. A week after the PD Austin and 126 Designs merger the entire office had gone out for drinks. One thing led to another, which led to another, and ultimately ended up with T.K. very naked in Carlos’ bed. 

They’d been incredibly hot and incredibly heavy for a couple weeks after that, sneaking around together, making out in the supply closet, booty calling each other in the dead of night, and Carlos had been so ridiculously happy. T.K. Strand had turned him into a horny freaking teenager.

And then he’d made the mistake of surprising T.K. with dinner. He’d thought it would be romantic. That it might move them from booty call status into something a little bit more permanent. 

But T.K. had freaked out, stormed out, and shut Carlos out of his life. Thank god his cubicle is all the way around the corner on the other side of the building. They barely have to see each other except for the occasional awkward brush in the break room or men’s room.

Carlos’ heart has been more broken than he’d like to let on, not to mention his ego is bruised too. The whole thing has made getting to know the other people from 126 Designs like Marjan, Paul, Nancy, and Judd very awkward.. They’re T.K.’s friends. And he doesn’t want to piss T.K. off anymore than he already has. 

Of course he has to interact with T.K.’s father, Owen Strand, he is the manager after all, but other than that he’s kept everyone else at an extremely polite and professional distance.

So finding T.K.’s name in his hands is like a punch in the gut.

“Good,” Lexi says, surprising him. “You’ve been pining for him for weeks anyway. Might as well do something about it.”

“Lexi, this guy hates my guts,” Carlos says. “He doesn’t want presents from me.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. You’re Carlos Reyes. No one hates you.”

“Please switch with me.”

“No.”

“Lexi!”

“No! I got Paul. I already have ideas. I’m not switching. It’s only three gifts, you’ll be fine.”

“Three?! I thought Secret Santa was only one gift!”

“God, do you even read your email? It’s three gifts in the week leading up to the holiday break. This will be good for you. Now go away. I’m working.”

Carlos sinks back down into his chair, misery settling in his stomach. This is going to be absolute torture.

He takes another look at T.K.’s scrawl. His writing looks hurried in a way that suggests he’s so excited that he can’t be bothered to slow down and shape his letters more carefully. It has that same kind of frenetic, joyful energy that drew Carlos to him in the first place. Now the only energy he exudes toward Carlos is coldness.

Carlos catches himself tracing his fingers over the letters of T.K.’s name and balls them into a fist before forcing himself to read T.K.’s answers to the Festive Friends questionnaire. T.K. has written down that he likes sour candy, Harry Styles, boba, and interesting tea flavors. He doesn’t like black licorice, the Mets, or anything with alcohol. 

Carlos frowns at that. He doesn’t remember T.K. mentioning anything about alcohol during their weeks together. But then again, they didn’t exactly spend much time talking. Their mouths had been occupied with other things.

It feels unfair to have this scrap of T.K., to get this little glimpse into his life. These are things he doesn’t want Carlos to know. He made that clear when he stormed out the door of Carlos’ condo and left nothing behind except Carlos’ fractured heart. 

He takes a breath and squares his shoulders. It’s just a stupid office tradition. They’re colleagues. They’re going to have to become cordial at some point. Maybe this is how he can start to smooth things over. Besides, it’s not like he has to talk to the guy. That’s literally the point. To keep it secret.

This is going to be fine.

It is not fine. It’s not fine because Carlos is the type of person that agonizes over gifts. And in this case, there’s even more pressure because the gifts have to be perfectly impersonal so they don’t say, “Your dick was life changing and I don’t think I’m ever going to recover because now you hate me and I don’t really know why.” He’d much rather they say, “I’m fine and I don’t ever think about you and that thing you did with your tongue that one time.”

Ugh.

He arrives Monday morning the week before Christmas with a gift bag in hand, a Yankees baseball cap tucked inside. It’s a lame gift. Perfectly impersonal. And the rest of his gifts for the week aren’t much better. There’s a small part of him berating himself for not doing a better job. He could at least try. The guy broke up with him, he didn’t murder anyone.

But then he remembers how miserable he was in the days after T.K. had stormed out. Whatever. He didn’t sign up for this anyway. T.K. deserves his boring gifts.

The office is quiet as he makes his way to T.K.’s cubicle. Even just the sight of his desk makes Carlos’ heart ache a little. There’s a picture pinned to his bulletin board of T.K. with their other co-workers, Marjan, Paul, Judd, Mateo, Nancy, and Tommy all smiling and having fun, clearly out for a night on the town together. He’d known 126Designs was small and that was part of the reason for the acquisition; to bring on a tightly knit team to help their own, but seeing T.K. so happy with them all doesn’t really feel great.

He’s been so preoccupied by his own shopping that he completely forgot that he is also getting gifts until he steps into his cubicle and sees a bright green bag with little white Christmas trees all over it. He inspects it carefully, relieved to find there’s no glitter anywhere. 

He hates glitter.

There’s a little card attached to the handle and when he opens it it reads “Hope you have a Write Christmas- FF.” It takes him a second to figure out that FF must mean Festive Friend.

He carefully extracts the tissue paper and looks into the bag. It’s office supplies. Pens, post-its, a new stapler, blue paperclips, and a ball of rubber bands.

The pun on the card makes sense, even if it is as terribly lame as the gifts inside. At least it’s practical. He can always use new pens.

“Hey!” Lexi pokes her head in. “Ooh what’d you get?”

He shows her the bag and she nods in approval. “Your Festive Friend knows you like office supplies. Nice.”

“If you’re expecting a thank you for going behind my back on this, you’re going to be waiting a long time,” Carlos tells her as he sits down and opens up his laptop.

“Pretty sure people with that attitude get coal in their stocking,” she tells him, flipping him off before heading to her own cubicle.

It’s midway through the morning and Carlos is about to make yet another phone call when Owen Strand steps into the middle of the bullpen. “All right, attention everyone!” he calls.

The ambient sound of typing and low chatter ceases. “Thank you,” he says. “I just wanted to remind everyone that we have our first team building activity this afternoon. So if you have anything scheduled this is your last chance to rearrange. Mandatory fun is in store for all!”

Carlos bites back a groan. He is really not into mandatory office fun. Especially when it means he’ll be in close proximity to T.K. But he’s also not one to flaunt the rules, so he’s going to have to suck it up and deal.

No one has been allowed in the conference room all morning and when one o’clock rolls around Owen waits at the door with a massive grin on his face. The man is clearly thrilled with whatever he’s cooked up to torture them today.

When Carlos walks through the door he sees why. The tables have been covered in red plastic tablecloths and every two feet or so sits a pile of materials like graham crackers, marshmallows, frosting, and candy. It’s immediately obvious how they will be team building today.

“All right everyone!” Owen says when they’re all assembled. “As you can probably guess our team building activity for today has taken a turn for the festive. And I’ve taken the liberty of assigning you all a partner to work with. Each team will be assembling a pre-determined part of our gingerbread village. Paul, you’re with Marjan.”

They immediately turn and high five, clearly thrilled. 

“Nancy with Lexi, Judd with Tommy, Mateo with me,” Owen flashes him a smile and Mateo lets out a whoop.

Carlos’ stomach drops. That leaves him with—“T.K., you’ll be with Carlos.”

Fuck.

“Send one person to grab your pre-assigned building assignment! Remember this is not a competition. We’re all working together to build our village. Just like it takes a village to run a company.”

There’s a brief silence in which everyone internalizes what a dumb, schticky thing Owen has just said and then he claps his hands. “Okay, get to work!”

Everyone claims a spot around the tables. Carlos takes a paper slip from Owen and then looks around to find T.K., who is sitting across the room with his back to Carlos.

Carlos reluctantly walks over and sits in the empty seat next to him, all the while wondering if he can fake sick or claim a family emergency to get out of this. When he finally looks up at his partner he recoils in shock. T.K.’s lip is split and swollen, and there’s a dark ring of bruising underneath his right eye. “What happened to you?” Carlos asks, a surprised reflex releasing the words from his mouth before he can stop them.

The look T.K. sends him immediately reminds him that they’re not friends anymore. It’s full of vitriol and misery and…Carlos looks a little closer. Pain. There’s a rawness there that Carlos doesn’t remember seeing before.

“Sorry,” he says. “I just…that looks like it hurts.”

“Doesn’t feel great,” T.K. agrees, his voice stiff. “What are we supposed to be making?”

Carlos looks at the paper. “Police station.”

“Perfect. Way to read the room Dad. ACAB and all that,” T.K. grouses as he reaches for a pile of graham crackers and immediately begins squeezing icing all over.

“Um,” Carlos hems and T.K. stops.

“What?”

“Don’t you think maybe we should make a plan first?”

T.K. sighs and dramatically drops his piping bag onto the table. “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

“No I—I didn’t mean—” Carlos struggles to find the right words. “It’s fine. Let’s just try and get something standing first. That’s the hardest part anyway.”

They spend a couple minutes in silence gluing graham crackers together with icing and using some marshmallows to prop them up until they have something that roughly resembles walls and a roof. “You’re kind of good at this,” T.K. says. 

It’s the closest thing to niceties that they’ve shared in weeks.

“I have a lot of nieces and nephews. Not my first gingerbread house. Although it is my first police station,” Carlos admits.

“Cool,” T.K. says, then winces, his lip clearly hurting.

“You sure you don’t want to tell me what happened?” Carlos asks, feeling a little emboldened by T.K.’s compliment.

T.K. shoots him a glare. “You’re kind of annoying. You know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” Carlos says, trying to let the jab roll off his back. “But I know you’re new around here and you’ve obviously gotten into some trouble. Sometimes it helps to talk things out.”

He gets silence in return. God what the hell is wrong with this guy? He’s literally just trying to help. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me. But you should probably tell someone before whoever gave you that shiner comes back to give you a matching set.”

T.K. goes quiet, fiddling with the icing bag in his hand. When he speaks his voice is soft.“I went to a bar last night.”

“Ah. A little drunk and disorderly,” Carlos says, aware that he’s being snarky and not caring in the least. “So you have an idea of how the inside of this police station should look then.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” T.K. says quickly and Carlos remembers his Festive Friends answers. He looks down. “I just went through a really bad break up. Like nuclear bad. And then I relapsed.” He looks around and lowers his voice. “I relapsed with substances.”

Oh.

Carlos sets down the graham cracker in his hands, his full attention now on T.K. as memory slices through him. “I tried to pour us champagne during dinner. I’m such an idiot I’m sorry—“

“It’s fine, ” T.K. cuts him off quickly, like if he gets interrupted now he won’t ever be able to find the strength to share this again. He fiddles with the peppermint wrapper in his hands. “Ever since I’ve gotten here it’s just…it’s grey. And I just feel numb all the time. So I went out to a bar looking for trouble. And I found it. Big time. I guess I just…I wanted to feel something.”

He’s pulled in on himself, his body looking vulnerable and wounded. Carlos gets it now. The overenthusiastic sex. His no-strings attached mentality. The complete meltdown during dinner. This is a man who has been hurt, and he’s struggling to find a way to heal. Carlos had unknowingly probed at the wound in his soul and T.K. had lashed out. It makes sense, even if it wasn’t fair.

T.K. looks miserable and despite their history all Carlos wants to do is make him feel better. “Judging by that lip, I’d say mission accomplished,” he says, trying to lighten the moment.

“You’re really busting my balls right now?” T.K. asks, an unreadable expression on his face.

“No,” Carlos says. “I’m busting your jingle bells.” He tries and fails to hold back a smile at his incredibly stupid joke.

T.K. blinks at him. “That’s terrible,” he says, but he is also struggling to keep his face neutral.

“And yet you’re smiling,” Carlos says. He feels lighter, like there’s been an ominous blizzard hanging over him in the weeks since they stopped seeing each other. Now it feels like the snow has finally started to fall and all the ugliness of the bare world in winter is being covered in a fresh layer of soft white powder. There’s a sense of hope to it.

“I’m laughing at how stupid it is,” T.K. says.

“Well laugh while you work,” Carlos says, reaching for a bar of Hershey’s chocolate to put on the roof. “I know your dad said it wasn’t a competition, but Marjan and Paul seem to be working on a second story. So I’m not sure they know that.”

Together they finish the roof, adding on lots of dripping icing as snow and icicles. Carlos carefully starts to add windows while T.K. works on the landscaping. 

“Tommy I don’t know why you’re trying to make me do these little details when you know I’ve got fat fingers,” Judd is saying across the way as he and Tommy try to add a steeple to their church.

Marjan and Paul’s apartment building does indeed have two stories and they’ve somehow managed to chisel out actual windows in the graham crackers. Lexi and Nancy are creating a ski chalet that includes a chairlift, and Owen and Mateo’s fire station sports a fire pole made of pretzel rods.

“There,” T.K. says, plonking a creation down in front of where Carlos has crafted a front door out of Kit Kats.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “What is that?”

“A snowman.”

Ah. Now Carlos sees it. There are two marshmallows stacked on top of each other and T.K. has shoved pretzel sticks in each side for arms. There is a lifesaver on each one and they’re connected by a thread of Twizzler. “What’s on its arms?” he asks.

“Handcuffs,” T.K. says.

“The snowman is getting arrested?”

“Or getting ready to do something kinky.”

“In front of a police station?”

“Some people get off on a little exhibitionism. Don’t judge Carlos,” T.K. says, a smirk on his face.

Damn it. They should have stayed mortal enemies. Now that they’re talking again, Carlos feels the urge to drag T.K. into the nearest cubicle and kiss the shit out of him. He didn’t need to go to a bar to find trouble. He could have shown up on Carlos’ doorstep and gotten into plenty.

Carlos’ attempt at a police cruiser has them both laughing; the oreo wheels keep falling off the rice krispie body (which T.K. snuck out and stole from the break room and has loudly been declared illegal by half the staff in the room) no matter how much icing he uses to try and stick them on.

“Stop eating our building materials,” Carlos admonishes a few minutes later when he goes for another red gum drop and finds they’re nearly gone.

“Why? They’re delicious. Tis the season for sugar,” T.K. says.

Carlos goes to give him a look and notices a dab of frosting on the corner of his mouth. “You’ve got some—“ He mimes brushing it away.

T.K. grabs a tissue and wipes, but misses completely. “No other side,” Carlos directs without success. “Here just, let me.”

He swipes the tissue from T.K.’s hand and dabs carefully, taking care not to pull on T.K.’s split lip. Their eyes meet and a heat passes between them, setting Carlos’ bones on fire. He clears his throat. “Got it.”

“Thanks,” T.K. says quietly.

They spend another half hour decorating before Owen makes them put all the buildings together into a little town while he snaps a picture for the company social media accounts. It’s actually pretty adorable once assembled and Carlos goes home that night strangely optimistic about what the rest of the week has in store.

Tuesday is business as usual and by the time Wednesday morning rolls around Carlos finds himself excitedly driving into work, his gift for T.K. in the passenger seat. He’s scrapped all his other gifts and spent the last two days looking for better items. Last night he visited a local tea shop and probably went a little overboard. They’d definitely upsold him on a few things and he’d let it happen because Monday’s gingerbread decorating had put a kernel of hope in his chest and…it can’t hurt to make sure T.K. likes his gifts, right?

He drops off T.K.’s gift bag and is only mildly disappointed when he walks into his own cubicle to find his desk is empty. It doesn’t matter; at least, that’s what he tells himself. Honestly, he’s not surprised. People are terrible at doing Secret Santa, it’s very likely that his person has forgotten him in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

He heads to his desk and gets right to work because they’re all heading out early to help with a toy drive at the local fire station; another of Owen’s brilliant ideas to encourage office camaraderie. It means he has a lot more to take care of than usual to try and make up for the lost time, and by mid-morning he’s in desperate need of a second coffee.

He’s about to get up and make one when his phone rings. It’s Ernie, their security guard from downstairs informing him that there’s a delivery waiting for him. Confused but intrigued Carlos heads for the elevator.

“Hey Ernie, all set for the holidays?” he asks when he reaches the desk on the ground floor.

“Just about. Got a couple more things to pick up today, but then I should be good to go,” Ernie tells him. He nods toward a bag and a coffee cup on the desk. “That’s for you.”

“Thanks.”

Carlos picks up the white paper sack and has to hold back a snort when he sees what’s written on the side. Hope the holidays don’t make you “cronuts”- FF. He peeks inside and inhales the scent of cronuts from Twiggy’s. Cronuts are a massive weakness of his, and a sip of the coffee tells him it’s made just to his specifications, a little bit of cream, no sugar. Whoever his Festive Friend is, they know him well. His suspicions are definitely leaning more and more toward Lexi.

He gets back in the elevator and when he steps off he nearly runs over T.K. “Whoa, sorry,” he says, holding up the coffee so it doesn’t spill all over T.K.’s chest.

“Lunch?” T.K. asks, nodding toward the bag.

“A snack from my ‘Festive Friend,’” he says. “Cronuts from the Twiggy’s.”

“That place is great. Enjoy,” T.K. says. 

“Do you want one?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself. God he’s needy. “I um, I got two and I can’t eat both. They’re really only good fresh, it’s not like I can save one—“

“Sure.” T.K. thankfully interrupts his ramble and the affirmative response sends a jolt of electricity through him.

They step into the break room and T.K. boils some hot water for tea before settling down across from Carlos at one of the high top tables, a kitschy little vase of fake flowers between them. 

Carlos pulls out the cronuts and puts each one on a paper plate. They’re decorated for the season as little Santa bellies, and hopefully they’re as delicious as he remembers. He slides one toward T.K. before picking up his own and taking a massive bite. He has to hold back a groan. They’re freaking amazing.

When he looks up he finds T.K. staring at him with an amused smirk on his face. “Sorry,” Carlos says, feeling his cheeks heat. “I um, these are my favorite.”

“So I can see,” T.K. says, the smirk widening a little. “The last time I saw that look we were both way more naked.”

Carlos feels his entire face go red at the reminder. He finishes chewing his bite, trying not to let memories of said naked time take over his brain. “So your dad,” he says. “He’s really into the holidays huh? We’ve never had so many festive office events.”

“Yeah my dad doesn’t really do anything by half measures,” T.K. says. “I think he might be overcompensating on the holiday cheer a little bit this year. The move down here was kind of a lot and I haven’t exactly been a bundle of joy lately, so he’s trying to fix it with cocoa and faux Christmas wreaths.”

Carlos takes another bite and thinks carefully about his next move. This new dynamic between them still feels tenuous, and he doesn’t want to fracture it. But at the same time, he can see the unfiltered hurt in T.K.’s eyes and he longs to help bear the weight of it. “You mentioned a breakup the other day,” he says quietly. “Is that part of why you came?”

T.K. blows out a breath and looks down at his cronut. “It’s the whole reason we came.”

Carlos watches as he wrestles internally and he’s just about to say that T.K. doesn’t have to tell him anything, when T.K. starts to speak again. “I had a boyfriend, in New York. Alex. We were together for like…I don’t know, a year I guess? He was the first boyfriend I’d had since getting sober and I wanted it to work so badly. Like this relationship was proof I finally had my shit together, you know?”

Carlos nods.

“I had this plan, I was going to propose to him. Had a ring, a restaurant, the whole thing. I was basically down on one knee and he—he told me he’d been cheating on me. With his spin instructor.”

Something hot and violent shoots through Carlos. “That motherfucker,” he says, before he can stop himself.

T.K. looks up in surprise and lets out a startled laugh.

“Sorry,” Carlos says. “That’s just…wow what an asshole.”

“Yeah he definitely was,” T.K. says, looking a little more relaxed now, as if Carlos’ angered sympathy has put him more at ease. “For a long time I think. I can look back on it now and see little moments. We only ever went where he wanted to go for dinner. He was always busy when I asked him to meet my friends. There was stuff I was overlooking because I was trying to prove to everyone else that I was stable.”

“I get that,” Carlos says.

T.K. shifts a little. “I went home after that, found a bottle of pills and…took them until I couldn’t feel anymore. My dad had to bust down the door to save my life.” He shrugs. “And that’s how we ended up here. He knew I needed to get away, so he took me as far as he could get.”

He looks up at Carlos. “I’m doing better now. Well, kind of.” He indicates his black eye. “But that’s why I freaked out on you that night. It wasn’t the champagne or anything you did. You were—you were so kind to me Carlos. I just wasn’t ready for it. And I’m really sorry that I walked out on you.”

The urge to reach over and touch him, to hold his hands and soothe away the hurt that’s painted into the lines of his forehead is overwhelming. But he’s not sure T.K. would be into that so he grips his own thighs instead. “Thank you for telling me,” he says. “That all sounds really difficult. I’m sorry I ambushed you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding when I realized you were uncomfortable. I think um, I think my ego took a little bit of a hit,” he says sheepishly.

“Oh you think Mr. ‘I Know It Doesn’t Look Like a Lot of Work’?” T.K. asks with a grin.

“Hey, that fish took me like three hours to make,” Carlos teases. “You missed out.”

T.K. sobers a little and fiddles with his cronut again. “I think I missed out on a lot.”

Carlos opens his mouth to offer a response, but Lexi pokes her head into the break room. “Carlos, your phone is ringing off the hook.”

“Coming,” he says, sliding off the stool and picking up his plate with the last couple bites of cronut on it. “Are you going to the toy drive this afternoon?”

“Boss dad said be there so yeah, I’m going,” T.K. says. “Thanks for the cronut.”

“You’re welcome,” Carlos says and then hustles back to his cubicle, where his phone is indeed ringing off the hook. He shoves the last bite of cronut into his mouth as he sits down, chewing furiously before he picks up. “This is Carlos.”

An HR crisis means Carlos is the last one to leave the office and arrive at the fire station’s toy drive. He looks for T.K. as soon as he gets there, but Lexi pulls him over to a table where they’re taking donations for one of the local food pantries. 

“So,” Lexi says as they fill boxes with canned beans and stuffing mix and mac and cheese, “looks like someone’s back on Carlos Reyes’ nice list. Although with the way you were looking at him, seems more like you’d prefer he stay on the naughty list.”

“Lexi!” Carlos hisses, looking around. “There are kids here!”

“Oh they can’t hear me,” she scoffs, handing him a bag of flour. “They’re all at the make-an-ornament station.”

Carlos looks over and finds T.K. hunkered down by that very table, laughing and smiling as he helps a couple kids glue pompoms and sequins to colored paper. It’s adorable and Carlos’ heart melts a little at the sight.

“See? That look right there. You’ve got it bad. You want him to jingle your ba—“

“I’m going to remind you that I’m your HR rep and you probably shouldn’t finish that sentence,” he says quickly.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. “But you two did look pretty cozy in the break room earlier. The great branzino war is over I take it?”

“Yeah we had a good talk,” Carlos says.

She clears her throat. “You can say thank you anytime now you know.”

He furrows his brow. “For what?”

“For making you do Festive Friends and fixing your broken heart.”

“My heart was not broken,” he scoffs.

“You have been acting like you’re in the last ten minutes of a Hallmark movie for weeks. Time to finally realize you’re in love and kiss under the mistletoe,” Lexi tells him.

“Just because we’re friendly now doesn’t mean we’re going to kiss.”

“Okay. Sure. Believe whatever you want.”

There’s a massive influx then from a church group and thankfully the matter is dropped for the rest of the night.

On Friday Carlos stops at home to change his clothes before heading to a local bar for their holiday party and the big Festive Friends reveal. He puts on a pair of dark jeans and winces when he pulls on the ugly sweater that Owen insisted they all wear. As far as they go, his is pretty tame, albeit with a bit more sparkle and pizazz than he usually goes for. It says Feliz Navidad in tinseled letters with some primary colored pom poms decorating the rest for good measure. It had been part of a family white elephant a few years ago and has sat in the back of his closet since for good reason. 

He gabs the box he wrapped up for T.K. on the way out the door. It’s nearly as brightly colored as his sweater. Generally he tries for a more sedate theme in wrapped gifts, but T.K. is so vivacious and colorful that he broke into the stash of wrapping paper he usually saves for his nieces and nephews.

He’s nervous as he drives and he can’t quite put his finger on why. Is it because he wants T.K. to like his gift? Because things between him and T.K. have shifted in a more positive direction and his stupid heart can’t quite stop believing that tonight might be like that first night at the honky tonk? Is it because he feels very stupid in this sweater and he really hopes everyone else obeyed Owen’s instructions from the email invite?

Probably all of it.

Ah well. At least if things don’t go well there will be liquor around to help drown his sorrows.

There’s immediate relief when he walks in through the doors of the bar and sees holiday themed knit-ware all over. “Hey Carlos, glad you came,” Owen says, greeting him at the door in a sweater with a massive reindeer head on the front.

“Mr. Strand,” Carlos says, giving him a nod.

“Carlos we’ve been over this. You can call me Owen,” Owen says, a tinge of good natured exasperation in his tone. 

“Yes, right, sorry” Carlos says, embarrassed. Didn’t he just chide Mateo for the same thing last week? Somehow this seems different. And definitely a weird way to address the man who fathered his most recent hookup.

“Go ahead and grab a drink, there’s hors d’oeuvres, I highly recommended the stuffed mushrooms, and then when the time feels right make sure you deliver your gift to your Festive Friend,” Owen says brightly. Then he leans close. “I got Judd a new belt. Italian leather, handcrafted, this thing is a masterpiece. He is gonna love it!”

“I’m sure he will,” Carlos agrees.

“Oh! Nancy! Come on in!” Owen gives Carlos a pat on the shoulder and moves past him to greet her.

Carlos says hello to Judd and his wife Grace, his eyes searching the room and finally landing on T.K. who is standing at the bar chatting with Mateo. Carlos’ heart flutters at the sight of him even as he tries to figure out what the heck is knitted on the back of his sweater. It appears to be a long, yellow tail, but that can’t possibly be right, can it? He takes a breath and then abruptly loses courage and goes to find Lexi instead. “Nice earrings,” he says when he gets to her table.

“Thanks,” she says, pushing her hair back so he can see them better. “They’re from my ‘Festive Friend’ Marjan.”

“Great,” Carlos says as he grabs a chip from a bowl on the table. “Did you give Paul your gift?”

“Yes, he is thrilled with the crime novels I got him. He hasn’t read that author yet so hopefully he likes them.” She gives him a look. “Why do you still have T.K.’s?”

“I haven’t seen him yet,” Carlos says defensively.

“You mean you saw him and you’re too chicken to go over there because you’re having feelings and don’t know what to do with them,” she says bluntly. “Are you going to ask him out when you give it to him?”

“I—I don’t know,” Carlos says. “That seems pushy.”

“You two were practically making out in that break room.”

“We were literally sitting three feet apart,” Carlos says dryly. 

“Fine. You were emotionally making out.”

He wrinkles his nose. “That’s not a thing.”

“I think you should ask him. It’s Christmas. The season of miracles. And wishes. And Santa shit. This is your chance!” she says enthusiastically.

“How much have you had to drink?” he asks.

She scoffs. “This isn’t drunkeness. It’s my Christmas wish that you grow a pair and ask T.K. out.”

“That is a terrible wish,” Carlos says. 

“Well it is what it is. You wouldn’t want to break a girl’s heart at Christmas would you?”

He opens his mouth to respond but Paul calls Lexi’s name and beckons her toward him. “That’s my cue,” she says, hopping off her bar stool. “Gonna go kick Paul’s ass at darts. Good luck!”

And with that she’s gone, leaving Carlos alone with his feelings and his gift box. He stares at it for a moment and gives himself a stern pep talk. It’s a gift. Not a marriage proposal. If T.K. hates it, it’s whatever. 

“Hey Carlos.”

He’s waited too long. He looks up to find T.K. standing on the other side of the table, a smile on his face. Carlos can now see the front of his sweater. Some kind of lizard smiles at him, clearly the front end of the tail he spotted before. Above it are the words “Merry Crickets.” It is truly the most hideous thing he’s ever laid eyes on, but somehow T.K. makes it look adorable.

“Hey,” he replies..

Excellent. Great. He’s crushing this.

“Nice sweater,” T.K. says, taking a sip of the drink in his hand. 

“Thanks. This is some party. Your dad is quite the host.”

T.K. rolls his eyes, but there’s a fondness to it. “Just be grateful I talked him out of chartering a party bus. And roller skating.”

“Your dad thought our holiday party should be at a roller rink?”

“He was going with an 80’s holiday theme at first,” T.K. says. “It took a lot of bargaining to get him down to ugly sweater instead. I think he was an event planner in a former life.”

“He definitely has a flair for it,” Carlos agrees. He looks down at the present in front of him. He should have gotten a drink before doing this. “So um, actually, I’m your Festive Friend. Surprise. This is for you.”

He slides it across the table and T.K.’s eyes immediately light up. “Can I open it now?” he asks eagerly.

He looks like a kid on Christmas morning and it’s so endearing that Carlos can barely breathe. “Yeah, yes, it’s all yours.”

T.K. pulls off the bow and rips open the paper, lifting out the soft yellow sweatshirt inside. He doesn’t say anything for a moment and Carlos feels a flutter of nerves. “It’s—“

“The sweatshirt Harry Styles wore in New York last summer,” T.K. says. His tone is almost reverent, his thumbs moving back and forth to stroke the material. “Oh my god. I have Harry Styles’ sweatshirt.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not the exact one he wore,” Carlos says, feeling sheepish. “But I know you like him and hoodies so it seemed right.”

“It must have taken forever for you to find this,” T.K. says.

“Oh, no, it was…it was no big deal,” Carlos says, omitting the entire night he spent on instagram combing through Harry’s outfits of the last few years and trying to find them for sale. 

“Thank you Carlos,” T.K. says, sincere gratitude in his voice. “This is amazing. All your gifts were amazing.”

“I mean, that hat was kind of lame,” Carlos says, still embarrassed that he bought something so generic.

“No it’s great! I’m going to wear it the next time I go to an Astros game,” T.K. says, a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

Carlos chuckles. “Yeah good luck with that.”

“Did you get your last gift yet?” T.K. asks casually.

Carlos shakes his head. “Not yet.”

“Any guesses who it might be?”

He has no idea. There’s no one in the office that knows him well enough to send him cronuts besides Lexi and he knows she had Paul. “No,” he says. “Usually I’m pretty good at figuring this kind of thing out, but everyone in the office is so new I haven’t really been able to get a read on anyone.”

“Marjan?”

“She had Lexi.”

“Paul?” 

Carlos looks around until he finds him standing in a corner next to a Christmas tree, laughing at something Lexi just said. “I don’t think so. He’s from Chicago, I doubt he would know about Twiggy’s.”

“Judd?”

“Something tells me he wouldn’t know about cronuts either,” Carlos says with a laugh. “I feel like it has to be someone who knows me pretty well, but Lexi is the only one—“

His eyes land on T.K.’s face and he knows. He can see it in his eyes and he feels stupid he didn’t realize it before when T.K. used that false casual tone. “You?” he asks in surprise. “You’re my Festive Friend?”

T.K. reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope. “Merry Christmas,” he says as he hands it to Carlos. 

Still in a little bit of shock Carlos carefully lifts the flap on the envelope to reveal a printed out email inside. “A cooking class?” he asks, looking up to search T.K.’s eyes. 

T.K. nods, a flicker of nerves flashing over his face. “It’s bruschetta, pasta, and a dessert. A husband and wife team run it out of their home. I thought, I mean you obviously know how to cook, but I thought it might be fun.”

“It sounds amazing,” Carlos says genuinely. He’s always wanted to try his hand at homemade pasta.

T.K. nods and takes a breath. “I um, I got you two tickets. You can take whoever you want, but I—“ He runs his hands nervously over his jeans. “I know I fucked things up between us, so I was hoping that maybe this could be kind of a do-over for us. If you want?”

“Yes,” Carlos says immediately. It’s embarrassingly fast and absolutely gives away how badly he wants them to try again, but he doesn’t care. “Yes I would love a do-over.”

“Yeah?” T.K. asks, his eyes full of hope.

“Yeah,” Carlos says. A smile plays on his lips and he’s about to thank T.K. for his other gifts when something occurs to him. “You little shit!” he says incredulously. “You bought me those cronuts and then sat there and ate one like you had no clue who’d given them to me!”

T.K. sends him a wicked smile. “I was counting on your holiday generosity,” he says.

“How did you even know about that bakery?” Carlos asks.

“You mentioned it,” T.K. says. “I don’t know, it was the second or third time we hooked up. I saw a flyer for them on your fridge and you told me how good they were.”

“You remember that?” Carlos asks in surprise. After their blowup he’d convinced himself that he was just a warm body for T.K. to be with, another notch in his bedpost who’d meant nothing to him.

T.K. looks at him, his face serious. “I remember all of it Carlos.”

The words make his heart swell and he hysterically wonders if this is how the Grinch felt when he heard the Who’s singing on Christmas. “I remember too,” he says. “It was incredible.”

“That first night, in the honky tonk. Best bathroom hookup of my life,” T.K. tells him.

“Only bathroom hookup of my life,” Carlos says.

“Yeah, I know,” T.K. says with a roll of his eyes.

“How could you know that?”

“Because you kept looking around like it was the most unsanitary thing you’d ever seen in your life,” T.K. tells him. “So I made it my mission to make you forget all about it. Pretty sure I succeeded.”

Carlos flushes as he  thinks about T.K.’s mouth and his hands and the way they felt on his body. “You definitely did.” His gaze drops to T.K.’s lips. “God, I want to kiss you so badly right now.”

T.K. smirks, clearly please that he’s turned Carlos on in the middle of this bar. “What’s stopping you?”

“Um the fact that all of our co-workers are here. And also your dad,” Carlos says with a laugh.

As if on cue Owen’s voice rings out over the crowd. “All right everyone!” He claps his hands a couple times. “If I could have everyone’s attention please! Thank you all for coming to the 126 Designs holiday party. I have a little surprise up my sleeve. Tonight, we are going to be participating in some holiday karaoke!”

A bar employee rolls a karaoke machine in out of nowhere to cheers from the crowd. “Did you know?” Carlos asks.

“No,” T.K. says. “But I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Get on over here!” Owen encourages them. “Judd! Let’s hear a little Deck the Halls buddy!”

“Come on.”

T.K. reaches for Carlos’ hand and pulls him toward a side door. “Wait, what about karaoke?” Carlos asks.

“Do you really want to stay here and listen to my dad attempt a version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town?”

Carlos considers this. “Actually…”

T.K. laughs and tugs him again. “Come on Reyes.”

They step outside into the night, the door closing behind them. It’s quiet and the air has a slight chill. Nothing that would even hint at a white Christmas, but enough that it feels like the holiday season instead of the dead of summer. A few stars have managed to permeate the light pollution and the moon shines brightly above them.

The side of the restaurant is lit by a single streetlamp, giving them just enough light to see each other, but also the illusion of privacy from anyone else who might be walking by. T.K. leans against the brick of the wall and tugs Carlos toward him, dropping his hand so he can grab his waist, his thumb pressing into the crease between Carlos’ thigh and his hip through his pants. “Well,” T.K. says, the cocky ass smirk on his face that shoots something hot through Carlos’ veins. “Go ahead. Kiss away.”

Carlos looks around in fake concern. “Mmm, I don’t know. Someone could still see us out here.”

“Don’t worry,” T.K. pulls a sprig of mistletoe from his pocket and dangles it over their heads. “I swiped this from inside. Now you have to kiss me. Christmas rules.”

“Oh is that right?” Carlos asks with smile, pressing in a little closer, and lifting a hand to run it through T.K.’s hair before sliding it down to cradle the back of his neck.

“Definitely,” T.K. says.

Carlos doesn’t waste another second before leaning in and fitting their lips together. The sparks inside him whirl and dance before bursting into full on flames. It feels like coming home. 

T.K. opens up and invites him in, their bodies coming flush together, searching for as much contact as possible. Carlos fists one hand into T.K.’s hair, the other landing solidly on his lower back and urging him closer, while T.K.’s roam everywhere, traveling Carlos’ biceps, his chest, his back, his ass, and everything in between. 

Carlos slots a thigh between T.K.’s legs, pressing into him and T.K.’s head falls back against the wall, eyes closing as he lets out something between a groan and a sigh. Carlos smiles and uses the change in position to press kisses into the sensitive spot just below his ear. “I missed you,” he says in between breaths.

“I missed you too. Am I going to have to report this to HR?” T.K. asks.

Carlos pauses and pulls back, sending T.K. a withering look. “Haha,” he says dryly. “Thanks for reminding me that I’m going to have my hands full with this one in the new year.”

“My ass is quite a handful,” T.K. says with a smirk. “But you can handle it. It’s just a little bit of paperwork. And someone got you really nice pens for the holidays.”

“Yeah someone did,” Carlos says, poking him in the side until he squirms. “Speaking of paperwork, you owe me a thank you note for your gifts.”

T.K. bites his lip. “Why don’t you take me back to your place and I’ll do a little better than a thank you note?”

Fuck. Carlos swallows hard. “What about the party? Won’t your dad be upset?”

“I’m spending Christmas day with him. He’ll live.” He slides a finger along the waistband of Carlos’ jeans. “We can go back in if you really want to though. I do a mean rendition of Jingle Bell Rock. We can stand in there with all of our co-workers and you can try not to think about how good I’d make you feel if the two of us were in bed together.”

Carlos strokes a thumb across T.K.’s cheek. “As much as I would like to hear you sing Jingle Bell Rock, I think I’d rather take you home.”

T.K. gestures toward the street. “Then lead on Festive Friend.”

It’s the merriest Christmas Carlos has had in a long time.