#I haven’t felt this way about a MCU movie in a long time

[brutashaswin]

So anyway The Marvels is probably the best MCU movie since No Way Home

[armageddon-generation]

Justice For MCU Hulk: Everything cut from The Incredible Hulk (2009) that saves its characters

After She-Hulk renewed criticism of Bruce Banner’s characterisation in the MCU, I looked back at The Incredible Hulk. It’s the shortest MCU movie (1hr 52 mins) so this extra 25 minutes of footage would bring it to about the same length as The Winter Soldier, vastly improving Bruce’s characterisation, his romance with Betty, and General Ross as the villain. 

Alternate Opening in the Arctic (2:16)

The most famous cut, Bruce’s attempted s*icide referenced in The Avengers. Strong, shocking character beat to open the film

Hulk’s origin

The film’s 3-minute title-sequence condenses “40 minutes” of Hulk’s origin & its aftermath. This was mostly unscripted (Norton contributed a lot) with “points of entry” for flashbacks throughout the film that unravelled the mystery of what happened..  

In an interview, director Louis Leterrie explained:

“[the Arctic was] a few months after the incident … afterwards we were flash forwarding to Brazil … a few years later ... then afterward you were getting flashbacks—that’s the way the script was structured—to tell you the story … everything you saw in the credit sequence. People hated it … what the hell is this? Is this a sequel? Is this a re-boot? We don’t understand anything.”

Building the Lab (1:07)

Most of the cut Brazil footage is filler, but I like Bruce dumpster-diving to make DIY lab equipment

General Greller (2:28)

Ross’ motivation. He’s the true villain! 

I’d cut the 1st exchange between Ross & Greller, moving straight from the plane to Blonsky entering the office. 

Nice character-building (‘is there any medal you haven’t won?’)

Greller criticizing Ross’ supersoldier program ties into the wider MCU (Hulk as a supersoldier attempt was only later established in The Avengers) & makes Ross more culpable

Bruce Delivers Pizzas (0:36)

The girls’ dorm should stay cut, but Bruce helping students with an experiment at his old university is a lovely character beat

Betty and Leonard (0:30)

Doc Sampson!

So the love triangle doesn’t seem quite as lopsided

Bruce and Betty Talk (3:18) 

Sets a clear timeline for Bruce

Sets up an ‘ethics cloud’ around Sterns/The Leader, and suggests he turned Bruce over to Ross in Brazil

Betty is proactive. Her arc becoming disillusioned with Ross starts here. Her keeping their data in an ornate jewelry box builds the Bruce/Betty romance

“Hope comes back so quickly” is a strong character beat

Dinner with Bruce (1:30)

“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt a light” is a nice character beat: Betty’s house is the eye of the storm in Bruce’s journey

Leonard characterisation!

The Orchid (1:27)

Betty is proactive again!

The Orchid as a metaphor for their love

Bruce and Leonard (4:17)

Leonard: I’ll confess something to you if you clear up some things for me. First, I confess as a man, Betty’s lover, that I’ve always hoped you were dead. Not because I don’t like you but because I love Betty. And I’ve known that unless you were really gone, or she believed that you were… there’d always be three of us in this relationship. I dreaded the thought of you walking through the door. But… now that you’re here, I have to admit I’m very happy about it. Because I’m also a psychiatrist. And I’m very committed to putting light into dark corners, so to speak. Betty has a very dark corner that I’ve never found my way into, despite considerable careful effort. And the only thing that I know about her dark place is that you’re in it. So… Why are you something that she won’t talk about?

Bruce: There are aspects of my personality that I can’t control. And when I lose control it’s very dangerous to be around me. I hurt Betty in a way that I will never forgive myself for.

Leonard: You don’t drop your career and fall off the face of the Earth for 5 years because you have an anger management issue, Bruce. You see a shrink.

Bruce: It’s a little bit more complicated than that.

Leonard: Trust me when I tell you I’ve heard them all.

Bruce: Not like this.

Leonard: Completely honest and yet avoiding the heart of the matter. Exactly like her.

Leonard’s big moment! He’s an actual character! Learning Bruce hurt Betty motivates him turning Bruce in

Chatting to a psychiatrist about the Hulk like a real-world personality disorder is gold

Lots of work on the romance, the ‘Dark Corner’ in Betty’s mind that Bruce inhabits.

Justification for Leonard ratting Bruce out. It's implied Leonard deliberately drains the car battery to discourage Betty going with Bruce

Motel Room Conversation (1:14)

Bruce: I’m sorry.

Betty: It’s okay. It’s so mysterious, this thing inside of you. All the other scars have healed.

Bruce: Not mine. His scars heal but mine don’t

Betty: Yes they do. They leave a mark, but they stop hurting [exposes a scar under her fringe, from the Hulk accident. Bruce turns away.] Look at me. That pain didn’t last. Not knowing was so much worse. I looked for your face everywhere. I never stopped.

Proactive Betty again. Real meat for the romance, addressing their shared trauma & Bruce’s guilt

Nature’s Mystery (3:02)

Ross: Major, a great writer once said, "There are clefts in the rock, where we see the back part of God, and tremble." There's no training for what you saw out there because it's not an enemy that confronts us, it's a new power. Let loose through a crack in the cliff of Nature's mystery. How many times do you think that's happened in all of human history? Fire. The splitting of the atom. The universe unveils a secret and people recoil, cowering in fear and awe. And then comes the person who stops trembling. Who steps forward to face the flame, and seizes the burning stick and says "This will I master and use."

William Hurt gets to act. This monologue is the best dialogue in the film. Ross’ motivation is so well-expressed here

On the Hulk Hunt (1:07)

Builds Blomsky’s frustrations with Ross and motivation to become Abomination

Ross and Sparr (1:40)

Betty: I will never forgive what you've done to him.

Ross: He's a fugitive. He made choices.

Betty: You made him a fugitive. To cover your failures, and protect your career. I know what you said to him after the accident. Before I woke up, what you proposed? That's why he ran away and gave up.

Ross: His work, his blood is the property of the United States Army, and my duty precedes my personal feelings in this matter.

Betty: Freedom, democracy, our way of life.

Ross: Something like that.

Betty: You believe in so much. But we have to start with truth or the rest of it doesn't work. Don't ever speak to me as your daughter again.

“If you took it from me I’m gonna put you in a hole for the rest of your life”. Ross is the villain!

Cut the Major, but Betty confronting Ross re: weaponizing the Hulk is a strong cap for her arc

Bruce Confesses in the Helicopter

In the novelisation:

“on the helicopter, prior to jumping … Banner admits to Betty that because he thought he killed her when he first became the Hulk, he tried to kill himself. The Hulk wouldn’t let him, which is why he thinks the Hulk will save him from the fall.” 

Leonard Calls Betty (1:40)

Follow-up on Leonard and Betty. Nice moment for her

Tldr; This extended version still wouldn’t be *great*, but it’s a significant improvement from mediocre to good, especially in hindsight with how Hulk has been treated since AoU. 

[thenexusofsouls]

I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time, Silence. Don’t feel bad if you need to break or downsize muses - this is just a hobby, after all, and you need to do what’s best for you. We’ll all still be waiting when you get back. Bucky and I send our love :)

__________

{i am the caretaker of souls} Okay, but one of the muses I’ve lost inspiration for is Natasha, so you see my problem, heh. I don’t know what happened, she just went so quiet a while back. It’s not anything you did at all, so please don’t think that. Sometimes it just happens that muses leave the building, heh. For anyone who would like to know which muses would be on the chopping block across my blogs, I’ll talk a bit about it below the cut. Because I can. =P

But yeah, as far as Natasha, I’ve been trying to squeeze out some muse here and there and respond to what I can get her motivated for, but a lot of times I reach down into the muse well and it’s just dry. I do kindof look at all my asks each week, though, to see if anything grabs the muse, and if it does, I work on it, because I do feel bad that you’ve sent in so many things that I just haven’t been able to reply to. So I’ll keep trying here and there, and who knows, maybe she’ll come back fully at some point.

Veridian on this blog has gone quiet for a long time now, and I’m sure if I look at my list, there are others who have zero activity that I can cut just to mentally downsize things. It’d be easy to cut Ardeth, Luther, and Vincent, because my activity there is fairly low, but I adore all of the threads I have with @illbringthechaosmagic and a few others, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only person actively writing those three characters on T.umb.lr so I’d like to keep doing so. Kindof a labor of love, you know? So at least right now, they’re not going anywhere.

As far as MCU muses, I think I have the same problem with Natasha, Wanda, Clint, Vision, and Pietro right now… lack of new content. I really get inspired by new content, it helps to revive things for me a bit, so when there isn’t any in years, I feel like my muses get stale. I know I could read comics if I wanted to, but honestly I just don’t have the time right now, or the brain to then sort out the differences between MCU and comic versions and choose what my interpretation will then be.

Pietro was really waning there for a while, but he got saved by the “Speedster of the Galaxy” AU because that to me was like new content, heh. It was just content that me and Mantis-mun and others were creating and contributing to instead of official content, which is fine, it’s great! That’s what we’re here for! Plus I love his ship with @starcchild, and that overlaps with my Tony muse here, which is still going strong. So Pietro is safe for now. XD

Wanda… my muse comes and goes for her but lately it just hasn’t been there. I adored DSMoM, but 99% of people I write with didn’t, and I think the negative backlash from the fandom regarding that movie kindof… tempered my muse a bit. Because I felt like I had to hold back or not talk about it or write about it, when I really wanted to. I was excited and inspired to go in all these new directions with Wanda, only to then still be writing during the same points in her timeline that I had been for a few years already. So that’s what’s been preventing my muse for her from really taking off. Anything that I can really get into or that feels new in an exciting way, I’ll jump on it, but lately I’ve been struggling with her. I do love the threads I have with @illbringthechaosmagic and @multiversalstarlight on Wanda’s blog, though, so that’s helped sustain her for a while.

Clint here on this blog… only has one thread right now, and that’s just fine with me, heh. If not for that one thread, he’d be cut. I still haven’t watched the Hawkeye series, mainly because I lost interest, so that gives you an idea of how long my muse for him has been waning. But the one thread I have with @sadiebrin is very cool and I can manage to squeeze out one thread a week with Clint for that. XD

I would love to bring back Red and White Vision, since they’ve been on hiatus for a few months now due to a lack of muse. I feel like it’s been enough of a break and I could maybe get back into them, but… no time, unfortunately. I’d need to cut some other muses that are taking up a lot of time in order to make time for Vision, and I just don’t see that happening. Maybe if I put Wanda on hiatus for a bit, but Pietro’s activity is really high and they’re all on the same day, so… who knows.

I have been toying with the idea of having an MCU multimuse and putting ALL my MCU muses on there, so that if I didn’t have muse for someone on that day, then I could skip them in favor of working on someone I did, but at this point, they’re so established on their own blogs and here on this one that I just feel like… it’d scatter and mess up where all my shit it stored, heh. I have issues with organization and how I think of things as far as what feels neat and calm and organized to me, heh, and that would drive me crazy to have things split everywhere. But on the other hand, it would really help to lump all my MCU people together on one blog.

Question: If I made another side blog mumu for just MCU people, put them all there, and wrote for them on hmm… probably Mondays, and then removed the MCU muses from this blog and wrote all non-MCU people here… what do you think of that? Would you guys like that, hate that, you don’t care…? I’m not asking you to make the decision for me, I’m just curious. I’m a little worried that a new blog might attract more attention and interaction, though, and I really can’t expand my writing partners too much right now, I’ve got enough on my plate. I guess I could just say something like “closed for new partners” or something, I dunno. Thoughts?

Imma stop rambling now omg. Actually ranting about all this helped release some stress and distract me for a while, so that was good, haha. Anyone who’s read this far, thank you, you’re the best. XD

[thompsborn]

!! the return of harley “daddy issues” keener (or is it mostly new angst? or mostly, like, physical?)

okay i love all these anons but also i am trying So Hard to not spoil things omg. please send more but also if i lowkey spoil something eventuallly it’s not my fault !! it actually definitely is entirely my fault but shhh

but anyways, kind of and also kind of not?

so like, in to build a family harley and peter are teenagers, but not like homeward bound. they’re high schoolers still, yk? they’re younger and haven’t gone through all the things that homeward bound harley and peter have gone through. i only bring up tbaf because obviously harley has Daddy Issues™ in tbaf. even before the second fic when his dad dies and he has to deal with that—in the first fic there’s a part where harley reminds his sister of their dad bc of how he left to go to new york and it’s this whole moment, yk? but he’s younger in tbaf and since tbaf is like not at all canon compliant to the mcu, they’ve gone through a lot less in comparison to hb, yk?

i say all that because while daddy issues are an ongoing lifelong thing for homeward bound harley, they aren’t as detrimental or as Big as they are in tbaf or other fics i’ve written where that comes up. hb harley is still effected by his daddy issues but he’s 18, he’s in college, he died for 5 years and came back to find out tony died, he has some family stuff that will be further explored and explained in the sequel with his mom and sister, and now also he has peter and the knowledge that peter is spider-man and the heaviness that comes with peter’s tragedies and past as well.

it’s a heaviness he’s okay with, don’t get me wrong, he’s more than happy to be there for peter and to learn these things and has been curious about peter since the first time peter walked into late night (again, will be explained more in the sequel!) but it’s heavy nonetheless, you know?

essentially, in the grand scheme of things, while he’s still impacted by his daddy issues, he also just… doesnt care anymore? like not caring doesn’t erase the impact but also he barely thinks of his dad and when he does he doesnt feel angry or upset or any of the things he felt in the past about his dad leaving, he just… doesnt care. he’s been through so much at this point that it’s just Another Thing. he’s desensitized to it to the point that like, why does it matter? it doesn’t.

there’s a part in hb, i can’t remember which chapter but it’s a small texting segment in one of the chapters where harry talks about him harley and peter making a no dad’s club for funsies and in that text convo harley mentions that he has a dad he just doesnt know where he is and doesn’t care enough to find out.

also, to answer that last part—it’s new angst that includes physical stuff! there’s gonna be… a lot lmao. i have a lot of things planned for this series, a lot of ideas taken from various comics, from the movies, from the games, etc. i’m even planning to read through plotlines for some of the animated series to see if there’s any additional ideas to draw from there.

but like, think of it this way, i guess: harley cares. a LOT. like some of his remaining daddy issues have developed in the form of being a bit slow to trust new people, but like he’s mentioned in the fic, once he chooses to care about someone, he is ALL IN. he is COMMITTED. and now that he knows about peter being spidey and is actively choosing to be involved in that, his instincts and his heart are going to want to do anything and everything he can to help.

okay actually sorry this answer is SO long BUT i remembered something i had harley say and i went back and looked and in chapter three he tells peter “my Mama says I have the heart of a protector” and THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IM TRYING TO CONVEY HERE LMAO so THAT is who he is at heart yk?

and peter is gonna be in a lot of dangerous situations as spidey, and as the series goes on people connected to him are going to be in danger because of spidey, and essentially like…. a lot of emotions and a lot of angst and a lot of potential for getting hurt, yk?

i need to stop here because i keep almost saying fuck it and giving an example that is definitely a spoiler but yeah. take that as you will (:

[p-taryn-dactyl]

Kathryn or Lizzie or Katie McGrath???

Ook starting off strong

Imma answer all of these hehehe

Kathryn Hahn

i have to be honest, i haven’t been part of the hahnverse for a long time

but, i haven’t found anything for me to dislike her for? hold on let me scroll through her anti tag (if she has one) for “information”

ok im back there was nothing

Ok who am i kidding with this neutral approach: i love her. Everything ive seen with her gives off just such a kind individual and loving, down to earth

If i wasn’t already devoted to another person who doesn’t know I exist, she would be the love of my life

Elizabeth Olsen

just because her answer is longer does not mean i like liz better than kathryn

backstory time: im a huge X-men fan. I didn’t grow up on the comics but on the animated shows and when i watched age of ultron for the first time i was so freaking excited when my dad told me scarlet witch was in it

but when i watched it…i was confused

wanda is Jewish why would she be working willingly with hydra, a organization with ancient purist beliefs who sided with the nazis? why is her character so different? why did they add the whole ‘ah i hate tony’ thing to the movies again (to be fair, im also just a giant tony stark fan and it hurt to see one of my favorite mutants against my comfort character)

so my dislike of Wanda grew from the weird way the MCU executed her character but i gave Lizzie the benefit of a doubt bc why not

then i heard interviews with her saying the g-slur, her dismissing Wanda’s Jewish Romani heritage, making fun of Serbia and it hurt ya know?

look, im very bi and Lizzie is very hot so im not immune to the whole Wanda mommy thing but idk? Ig i would say im neutral, solidly neutral, about Liz

i bet she’s a great person to be around, a great friend and ik her life hasn’t been the best with the press hounding her family all the time and she is pretty funny and has good chemistry with the rest of the cast but there’s something off?

Katie McGrath

Once more: i am gay af and Katie…whew, she’s one of the reasons why

I haven’t dug that deep into her bc ive never felt a reason to but i really like her

i am not a fan of the rest of the supergirl cast at the moment but she just seems like such a nice person and I honestly would watch anything with Katie in it

i was a huge Merlin fan before i watched supergirl and lemme tell you, katie is a great actress who has this vibe around her thats just…amazing

all the hate i see around here (once again, i didn’t dive too deep) about her is mostly from people who don’t ship supercorp which i find annoying bc even if people ship something, that doesn’t mean you have to come for the people playing the characters (unless they genuinely deserve it, which i don’t think katie does)

I hope this was ok?? This isn’t a hate or anti post for anyone, all three of these people are amazing actors and are probably really nice but since ive never met them and prolly never will, these will forever remain my opinion and not fact

[writingwife-83]

I got a request to share my thoughts, so here goes…

Fair warning, this isn’t a completely glowing review below the cut and there’s also spoilers

My fam and I are caught up through ep 4 now and so far I definitely think I like s1 better. Admittedly a big reason is that there was a lot more focus on the development of Loki and Sylvi’s characters and relationship in s1. S2 feels like it’s mostly about… other stuff. And that other stuff holds little appeal to me. I’m not a big fan of this kind of plot, where it’s super complex and involves time travel and different time lines and AI clocks who suddenly have a crush on the villain 😆 etc. In general I just dislike all that kind of stuff in the MCU. Time travel almost always ends up feeling to me like, let’s be complicated just for the sake of being complicated. Like, the writers clearly see it like this is the appeal to have these wild moments where there’s loops in time with Loki from the future helping Loki from the past and omg mind blown! I can understand how that’s fun and exciting to a lot of people, but that’s not usually what pulls me into a movie or show. I want character and relationship development to take center stage whenever possible. And in terms of Loki and Sylvi, I felt like they came so far in that first season. They were a pretty solid team, and in s2 it’s like five steps back, which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Yeah she wanted to live a regular life, but why did she go back to basically hating him?? Idk, maybe it’s just been too long since I’ve seen s1 and I’m out of touch, because I literally haven’t watched it since it originally aired.

I’m definitely interested to see what they do with the final 2 episodes though! And I love Obi’s character too, I think he’s a fun addition to the bunch. Oh! And I enjoy that they’re bringing some depth and development to Mobius’ character as well. I’m thinking he’ll end up finding out what his life was like in his timeline and it’ll probably be something meaningful. Idk how they’re going to pull off some sort of survival after the end of ep4, but likely it’ll be more alternative time lines or time travel or whatnot lol. Anyway, I do want to see what happens, and I’m enjoying it well enough! But I guess the way the MCU is focusing so much on the multiverse and timelines and everything just isn’t for me. 🤷‍♀️

Finally watching Loki s2! 💚

[cjsinkythoughts]

In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day. 

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.” 

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are. 

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

~

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

~

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

[roe-sesandthorns]

super salty thoughts about Dr. Strange MoM, spoilers + rant under the cut  warnings: spoilers, duh. really long. not very complimentary. 

did wanda face no consequences for what happened in westview? legitimate question cause i haven’t seen it and only know the plot + story through osmosis. I thought this was the point of the accords and the oversight and the damn civil war.

it physically makes me puke to hear mcu refer to themselves as earth-616 like no. sweeetie, sit back down, ok? you’re earth-1999999  

they went to one other universe, it was a huge waste of potential BUT I can excuse that cause I understand the limitations from a storytelling/runtime/budget pov but still, disappointing 

ok I loved peggy as the first avenger, monica rambeau as captain marvel, and it’s always a pleasure to see patrick stewart and the inclusion of black bolt was cool (idk if he’s been in other marvel media before but that was my first time seeing him)   

but and that’s a big but, the scene where wanda takes on the illuminati and bodies reed + black bolt and then proceeds to fight peggy + monica felt... off. 

like did they remove the two male members deliberately cause? is it sexist? is it a very shallow, trite attempt at #girlbossing? whatever it was, it felt cheap and weird. and completely disrespectful to all those heroes. especially professor x.

ok, i get it, wanda is supposed to be the Big Bad but the way the superheroes in the mcu become totally powerless in other people’s movies just rubs me weird. like she took barely 30 secs to demolish the entire team. and these are the supposed leaders of the illuminati

why the fuck did wanda of earth-834 or whatever have powers? did she have the same arc as mcu-wanda (i’m not using 616 to describe mcu people cause hell no). but then everything in this world was completely different so how does it compute that this wanda had powers and a normal life. did she have her kids with vision? where was vision? if he died like in infinity war then why was this wanda mentally stable? like what changed?   

why the fuck did stephen from the incursion universe and mcu-stephen have the same damn backstory of both having a sister who died? like how is that something that is constant in multiverses? or was it just a lucky coninkydink? 

i have a lot more, but basically i hate their treatment of the multiverse. i think i prefer any other fanfic writer writing about the multiverse cause they do it so much better. 

i’m not even surprised they tried to give wanda a redemption through death/sacrifice arc cause she changed her mind in the last 2 minutes of the film; disappointed but not surprised. 

like girlie has not even redeemed herself for westview, instead she went full on evil supervillain 

fuck off with the “heartwarming” music and there is NO reason for christine to ask after wanda with concern (other than the fact that christine is amazing and a saint and i love her) but contextually she should’ve been like “the scarlet witch?” (scared shitless) 

also, basically, moral of the whole story: stephen strange can only be happy if he has christine in his life. which seems toxic af, like bro. y’all broke up YEARS ago. you tell her at her wedding that you wish she was still with you, or imply it at least. I would’ve decked him if I were her. Like Christine you’re a saint. I mean you invite your friend (whom you dated a long while back) to your wedding and want to introduce him to your husband and he’s like “im sowwy i miss you” like fuck the fuck off, stephen strange, you ass. don’t make this day about you. 

also can we please kill with fire the idea that you need a relationship to be happy. like, srsly. the whole movie reiterates that if he only “got the girl”, he’d be happy, like no honey. go to therapy. find happiness within you. and in others around you. relationships are amazing and i can totally get pining over Chrsitine cause goddamn i’m doing it too, brother, but really. she’s not gonna fix you or fix your life. i want to engrave kate winslet’s speech from eternal sunshine onto the marvel headquarters entrance cause fuck u marvel. 

another beef with the multiverse, no stephen ever dated anyone other than christine? like my dudes, prime opportunity to really explore just how different the universes are, i mean, come on! 

additionally, it makes the ending seem like a queer ending with stephen and wong reiterating their love for e/o and continuing their cohabitation as they raise their teenage adoptive daughter together. like maybe marvel is saying queer-platonic relationships and aro-ace rights. (hahahahhahah as IF.) 

america chavez was the only ray of hope and the only good thing about this movie and that’s only because her character hasn’t had the time to be handled by 12 different pairs of hands and the mouse overlords’ meddling

also can i just say, 0 character growth all around, great job, guys! 

also also, did i miss an entire movie where mordo goes after stephen? no, so that was just supposed to be one of those things that happened in the interim that we just know because of dialogue. great. so, no emotional arc for stephen having to fight mordo, for the clash of their philosophies, for the consequences of stephen’s actions. 

wait, speaking of consequences, what the fuck were stephen’s consequences for no way home? did he have any? he almost fucked up the entire world on a teenager’s say so. like. i mean. it ended ok but ?????

some technical things: the score was overpowering, there was no room to breathe between moments, the effects gave me a damn headache, and there were some weird transitions thrown in that just felt.... one-note. one or two were cool from a story telling point of view but otherwise it was just. meh.  

tldr; the whole mcu is just like, “consequences? don’t know her” and the mcu multiverse is bland, convenience-based, arbitrary, and boring. also, this wasn’t a dr. strange movie, this was a “look shiny cgi, shiny multiverse, isn’t this fight scene cool? omg that’s professor x, look people from other marvel movies/media! how cool!, we’re self-referential! and COOL!” mess

[skyvaikers]

Hi bestie. Would you be able to write a Hunter x reader where he asks/takes her on a date and it's all cute and fluffy with a hint of spice at the end? Thank you, love you bunches and bunches❤💖

it’s a date [ sergeant hunter ]

SUMMARY — hunter asks reader on a date

WARNINGS — gn!jedi!reader, fluff, bad writing cause i’m out of practice

REQUESTED BY — @sargenthunterswife

NOTE — i got to writing and just wrote, lowkey forgot the request and forgot the spice, BUT hopefully it still amounts to your expectations lol.

———

HE WASN’T THE DATING TYPE. hunter never cared much about the dating scene; he was always all go and no stop. he never considered slowing down and enjoying what life had to offer, until he met you.

you weren’t his jedi general, but still. he worked with your men once, and he found himself thinking back to you. his brothers noticed, and because they did, it didn’t stop them from making a comment.

“how’s y/n look today, sergeant?” echo would often tease, earning an eye roll from hunter. he never spoke about his growing affection for you, fearing that more of his brothers would start teasing, and if your men ever caught word? he’d be in trouble.

so, for the time being he kept his mouth shut. he went on missions and did what the batch normally did, until they were assigned to work with you again. he received looks from his batch mates when they got the news, and he quickly shut them down.

“it’s just another mission, nothing for you to get worked up about.” he was speaking mainly to his brothers, but there was a part that was speaking to himself.

++

the mission was successful, and hunter eyed you as you made sure each of your men were alright. your care for the men contrasted the way you fought in the battlefield. you were brutal in the battlefield; men knew to stay out of your way.

it wasn’t like you didn’t know hunter either. you’d spoken to him on several occasions, of course being about protocol, but every time you felt your heart fall even further for the sergeant.

you were outside the barracks one evening when hunter approached you. you wore a smile, but your heart was going a million miles a minute.

“sergeant,” you greeted. you swore he was just passing by. you were surprised when he stopped in front of you. “can i help you?”

“i uh, had a question for you, general,”

“please, y/n is fine,” you waved it off. he sighed and removed his helmet from his head. your nerves increased, but you remained outwardly calm.

“i was wondering,” he was so awkward it hurt, “if you’d allow me to take you to dinner sometime,” his words hung in the air for a moment, his own nerves creating a vibration in his chest.

you were caught by surprise. hunter, the soldier you believed to be against such a thing as romance, was asking you out on a date. you didn’t want to leave him hanging for too long, so you shifted.

“i would love to. i’m not going to lie, you caught me by surprise,” you chuckled nervously. he shook his head, chuckling along with you. relief filled his chest as you answered; thank the force.

“yeah, i was surprised too,” he admitted, “tomorrow evening?” he suggested.

“i haven’t eaten today yet, so we could do tonight,” you countered. hunter nodded his head, his eyes brightening with a new kind of light.

“yeah, that works,” he was in shock, but that didn’t mean he was any less nervous or excited. he walked with you from the barracks on coruscant and into the streets. you couldn’t believe you were going on a date, given how strict the jedi code was. but, if your feelings for hunter were true, you weren’t going to deny them.

———

lowkey forgot the request and went with hunter asking reader on a date, so i hope it’s still alright. how could i forget the prompt, you ask? welcome to adhd where i’ll read it 15 times and still have no idea. anyways, hope you enjoy! star wars updates, as much as i wish i had motivation, will be slow due to my interest in other shows/movies (mcu 👀). ANYWHOODLES pls stay healthy and enjoy (:

[itsallyscorner]

just like magic with marvel cast, the vibe is----- a perfect song for a lil b*tch with a good heart and a sarcastic mouth

just like magic is the song we ALL need for 2020😌 Start manifesting ya’ll🖤 Also thank you sm for the request I am so so sorry this took so freakin’ long😭 Love u, happy reading🖤🖤 Tried to add my own lil twist to your request:)

(A lil different from the request, but I tried to make the reader have a bit sas.)

💌.

just like magic

Growing up within the Marvel Cinematic Universe was probably one of things you were most grateful for. When you first started out you weren’t that social. You were new to the business, you didn’t know anybody and you were intimidated by every single actor you crossed paths with.

At first you didn’t feel like you fit in. You felt as if you were a burden to everyone else. You barely talked to anyone which made the others approach you out of force by the Russos. Everyone around you was talented while you were just some newcomer who had jack shit as experience. The first few years you were insecure of yourself mentally and physically. You weren’t as pretty or fit as the other women in the MCU nor did your skills live up to theirs. Which led to some unhealthy habits. Plus there were haters and movie critics who would say horrible things about you and your acting.

You had a rocky start unlike Tom Holland and even Lexi Rabe. Until one day when you realized that you had to change how you were thinking. It took you a while but all that negative thinking you were doing was only bringing you negative energy. So when you had a break from filming movies, your number one goal was to improve yourself.

Wake up in my bed, I just wanna have a good day (Mmm, ah)

Think it in my head, then it happens how it should, ayy

Twelve o'clock, I got a team meeting, then a meditation at like 1:30

Then I ride to the studio listening to some shit I wrote (Oh)

You woke up with smile on your face in a sense of calmness. The sun shined bright hues into your room as you got up from your bed. Today was the first day back on set. You guys were finally filming Civil War and you were honestly so excited. As you did your morning routine, you went over how the day would go in your head. You’re genuinely excited to see the entire cast. It has been almost half a year since you’ve seen everyone and you couldn’t wait to be back.

You took one last look at yourself in the mirror. Compared to the previous year, you looked and felt healthy. Your eyes shined and you looked well relaxed. You know like one of those face cleanser commercials? That’s how you felt. You felt like a breath of fresh air.

The ride to the studio took a good 30 minutes but it felt like seconds. You entered the set with a new sense of confidence and pride. The energy was practically radiating off you.

“(Y/n)?” You hear someone call from behind you. You turn around and see Scarlett looking at you.

“Hey!” You greet her as you approach her. You pulled her into a hug, startling her.

“Oh! Hello to you too, honey.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around you. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great! Life’s been good.” You answer as a toothy grin graces itself on your face. Scarlett’s eyes are filled with shocked. From the previous times she’s talked to you she’s never seen you so loud or open. You were always shy and closed off from everyone on set.

Good karma, my aesthetic (Aesthetic)

Keep my conscience clear, that's why I'm so magnetic

Manifest it (Yeah), I finessed it (I finessed it)

Take my pen and write some love letters to Heaven

Eventually everyone on set caught on to your new attitude. Though they tried to be discreet about their reactions and shocked expressions, you could still see how they were caught off guard by your sudden change of nature.

Anthony watched as you conversed with Elizabeth and Scarlett on the couch in Robert’s “village” . You were probably the most smiliest person in the room beating Evans, who was eating his lunch.

“She’s like different. But in a good way. It’s like she’s bloomed.” Anthony thought out loud to the men beside him. Chris (E) and Sebastian look in your direction.

“Bloomed?” Chris snorted as he swallowed his food.

“Yeah, like she’s growing into a woman.” Anthony hummed proudly as he went back to his own lunch. Sebastian smiled at you, “I think she’s gained some confidence in herself and finally realized how good of a person she is.”

“If she’s finally realized that, I’m glad she did. She’s like a ball of sunshine, it’s adorable.” Chris smiled proudly at you as your hands move around animatedly while explaining some story to the two women in front of you.

“Y’all think it’s a boy?” Anthony wondered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his friend. Before he can even respond Anthony is calling you over. You approach the men with a smile and take a seat beside Sebastian.

“What’s up?” You greet them. Chris nods at you as he chews on his sandwich. Sebastian greeting you with a quiet “hey”.

“So who’s the lucky man?” Anthony asks teasingly. Your brows knit together head tilting to the side.

“Man?”

“Yes man, or boy, whatever. Who’s got you feelin’ yourself, (y/n).” Anthony wiggles his brows as he shimmies closer to you. Sebastian, who’s in between you two, cringes at the man to his left.

You didn’t take any offense to the question, knowing that everyone was curious as to why you were so unlike yourself.

You chuckled before smirking at the older man, “Anthony, honey. I don’t need a man to be feelin’ myself. I did this on my own.”

Chris and Sebastian’s mouth drop at your answer. Chris laughed as he pointed out Anthony’s face. Sebastian slung an arm around your shoulder bringing you into a side hug as he laughed with Chris.

“To be fair” Chris began to say but started to laugh, “To be fair, you deserved that.” Anthony’s face went flushed as he nodded to himself. You suddenly felt bad that you put him on the spot.

“Alright, stop laughing at him.” You playfully glare at Chris and Seb. You poke Anthony’s arm, “To answer your question, I’ve just been working on myself. Thinking more positively, I even tried manifestation.”

“You know what, that’s good. You’re taking care of yourself mentally and physically. I’m proud of you for doing this for yourself, we all are.” Anthony tells you as he motions to the two other men.

You look at all three of them, all of them looking at you with pride, “Thanks guys.”

Just like magic (Baby), just like magic (Oh yeah)

Middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it

Just like magic (Yeah), I'm attractive (Oh yeah)

I get everything I want 'cause I attract it (Oh)

As the months passed, the more you evolved into another version of you. You walked with determination, carried yourself with such grace and you’ve gained confidence in your career. You didn’t let your insecurities get to you, instead you faced them and overcame them. You were tired of letting them control you.

Your change in attitude and perspective on life has definitely affected your life in many ways. Manifestation was one of the things that have helped you the most. Writing about your goals and putting that energy out to the world has helped you persevere in your job. You’ve only faced good karma; sending out positive energy and receiving it back from the universe.

So far you’ve been casted in two new projects and have a campaign lined up with Gucci. If you were told a year ago that you’d be working with big time directors and freakin’ Gucci, you wouldn’t have believe them. Life has been unreal ever since you decided to change your life around. But of course you had to thank your Marvel family, without them and their support you probably wouldn’t haven gotten to where you were today.

Looking at my phone, but I'm tryna disconnect it (Oh yeah)

Read a fuckin' book, I be tryna stay connected (Yeah)

Say it's tricky at the top, gotta keep a slim ego for a thick wallet

Losing friends left and right, but I just send 'em love and light (Oh)

As many people recognized your success many people still tried to pull you down. Some fans on social media have noticed your change in behavior and have even praised you for practicing self care. While others still tried to push you off the mountain of success you were currently on and drag you across the ground.

These were the reasons as to why you were barely on your phone anymore. You used to be invested in your phone but after realizing how much negativity it brought you, you’ve decided to slowly disconnect from it. Which led you to becoming more interested into books.

Chris (E) had even brought some of his favorite arts of literature for you to borrow. You were currently on your third book of his, Sapiens A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. You were sitting outside your trailer in a fold up chair under the shade. Your peacefulness was interrupted by Tom (Holland) who had a worried expression on his face.

“Have you not seen it yet?” He asked you as soon as he was in front of you. Being the two most youngest actors on the current set, you guys were closer to each other than with the adults.

“Seen what, Tommy?” You put a finger in between the pages you were reading to save your spot. Tom pulls his phone out and began to type. He tapped on his screen and turned the screen to you.

“She’s been talking crap about you for days.” You read the article and saw that one of your “friends”, Sabrina has been speaking out about your success and how it’s changed you as a person.

“She’s going off about how the more money you get in your wallet, the more bratty and arrogant you become.” He grumbled as he turned his phone off.

“I could care less, honestly. I know I haven’t done anything to her and if I did I was unaware of it. Plus, she stopped talking to me after I said I couldn’t get her a part in a movie.” You shrugged as you placed a proper bookmark in the book.

“You’re not upset?”

“I mean it’s sad that she’s acting so two faced. But if that’s how she wants to roll, then be my guest. It’s her loss, not everyone has great taste.” You flicked a piece of hair away from your face with your hand.

“You’re not gonna release a statement against her?”

“No, probably just wish her well with her life and move on with my own.” You answered much to Tom’s dismay.

Redesign your brain, we gon' make some new habits

Just like magic (Just like magic), just like magic

Filming has officially ended a few months ago and now you guys were doing press tour for Civil War. Before you were the new and improved version of yourself, you dreaded press tours. Some interviewers were nice and respectful, but there were those who would ask inappropriate questions and were just rude in general. All you could remember during those past tours was wanting to leave those rooms as soon as possible.

The q&a panel at New York had a packed room. There were many journalist crowded in the room shoulder to shoulder. You were sat in between Elizabeth and Scarlett, two of the women who have been guiding you and teaching you about life as a woman in the business. They were also like your older sisters.

The panel had been going smoothly for the first half hour until a man with a snobby face and cocky demeanor approached the mic.

“Hello, I’m Keith and my question’s for (y/n).” He began. You nodded in his direction, motioning for him to continue.

“I think everyone’s noticed how you’ve changed and developed as a person. Obviously something’s changed in your life. So I want to know if you’ve had any intimate relationships with any of the men in the cast?” You were surprised at the man’s question. First it was bold of him to ask such a question and second it was just disrespectful to you and the others on the cast.

“I mean someone’s gotta be fucking you good to make you crawl out your shell.” The man finished shrugging nonchalantly. Robert was about to interject but your mouth was quicker than his. The men of the cast were disgusted at the man while they sat at the edge of their seats.

“Well last time I checked my contract, my job was to act, not sleep around with the men who are part of these movies.” You spoke into the mic. All the attention was on you while the room was at a standstill.

“It’s also very upsetting that you think a girl needs to be fucked in order to be confident in herself. I hate to break it to you but women are completely capable of turning their lives around without the help of men and that says a lot about you, sir. So if I were you, I’d take myself back to my seat and rethink my life because if one of us has to redesign our brains it’s you.” You finished as you placed your mic on your lap. The room was silent until the cast began to clap. This was your first time standing up for yourself, usually Robert or Scarlett would swoop in and save you but this time, you were saving yourself.

You shook your head as you blushed, shoving your head in your hands. You felt some pats on the backs and cheers from your dysfunctional family. You look up and see Scarlett and Elizabeth smiling at you proudly.

“Isn’t she amazing?” Robert asked the crowd as he hugged you. The crowd cheering you on.

Just like magic, your life felt like a dream come true, knowing that you were worth it and enough for the people around you and for yourself.

[bloodstained-ballgowns]

Things I Loved About Black Widow (2021).

*Spoilers*

Yes it’s been almost two weeks since release. Yes I’ve seen it almost three times now. Yes, all my thoughts are still a jumble. Somewhat ordering them for this post will be difficult.

Honestly, the entire first 53 minutes of this movie is perfect to me. Everything about it. The dialogue, the action, the way it’s able to convey so much without words, how it’s just Natasha, Yelena and Mason, everything is just *chef’s kiss*. (This isn’t to say the remaining 1hr 21mins is bad, it’s just not as perfect as the first act imo)

I have a thing for scores and god bless Lorne Balfe he really understood the assignment on this one. If you haven’t already, take a few minutes to listen to his composition, specifically ‘Natasha’s Lullaby’. I love when you can hear a story in music and I think this score does that really effectively.

Nat speaking Russian! Nat speaking Russian! The way she reverts back to it in the opening scene when she’s scared! I wish we’d gotten more of it honestly, especially in the family dinner scene, even something as simple as ‘pass the salt’.

Also, her Russian accent in the Budapest flashback! It was quiet but definitely there, and it showed that her American one was something she had to train herself back into once she defected, which I appreciated.

“I stashed that like five years ago” Is this a canon hint that Nat hoards her food? Maybe?! I’ll take what I can get to satisfy my headcanons thanks.

Natasha and Yelena’s fight sequence in the apartment is the best fight scene in the movie. No arguments.

So much of my inner monolgue while watching was just ‘imsogayimsogayimsogay”. That much leather and that many piercings??! The BRAIDS?? This movie is for the wlws.

Mason you absolute icon I love how much you care about Natasha I love that you’re sleeping everywhere because same. (You deserved better than to be a Taskmaster misdirect). Please turn up in more MCU properties as Yelena’s contact or something.

“But you’re not a mouse, Melina. You were just born in a cage, but that’s not your fault.” THIS LINE!!!

AND THIS ONE. “You took my childhood, you took my choices and tried to break me. But you’re never gonna do that to anybody ever again.” The emphasis on choice vs children, how it’s always been about bodily autonomy instead of the romanticised horror of sterilisation that Whedon went with. 

“I never let myself be alone long enough to think about it.” I GASPED.

HONOURABLE MENTION: “You didn’t work in the shadows, you hid in the dark,” (or something). There’s something really satisfying about that line. 

Everything about this film is so inherently female, I love it when things don’t reek of testosterone.

I’ve heard some critics say this movie felt really ‘isolated’ and ‘disconnected’ from the rest of the MCU because of the time jump and how many new characters there were and I have to hard disagree there. The appearance of Secretary Ross, name-dropping Tony Stark, and the continued references to the Avengers were not only realistic but also really cemented this oneshot in-universe for me. 

*cue me flapping my hands and opening another draft because every separate point is eliciting another two paragraphs of analysis that I absolutely cannot include on this post or it will never end*. Man I love this movie. See the read-more because this is getting longgg.

Similarly, how it actually carries through on a lot of previous set up, mostly from Avengers 1, like with ‘Dreykov’s daughter’ and “thank you for your co-operation”. I got very nervous when they announced they were going to tackle Budapest because a) I didn’t think anything they came up with would ever live up to the hype people gave that line so it would only end in disappointment and b) I’ve never particularly cared, to be honest. (it was a throwaway line in Avengers 1 that was repeated for nostalgia in Endgame in a context that now makes no sense, forgive me for being indifferent) but I actually loved how it tied everything together.

The way it reclaims her from every male creator that’s handled her (fuck the Russos and M&M) while simultaneously keeping the best of what they managed to foster (again, Avengers 1 is a heavy influence, and rightly so, but it gives a fat middle finger to AOU, also rightly so).

How competent Nat was shown to be without being unbeatable. She fully got her ass handed to her a couple of times, and yes, it’s very unrealistic that she was able to go through two car accidents, fall off that bridge, out of that window and then out of the sky without being seriously injured, but we finally got to see the physical manifestations of some of that pain! She was holding her ribs when she got out of the water, the bruises on her back, the dislocated shoulder, and the blood splatters were actual splatters when she broke her nose rather than delicate dabs.

This might be an unpopular one, because I know this was what a lot of people were expecting more of, but I was glad Natasha’s youth in the Red Room was confined to the opening credits. The aftermath of that training and Natasha as a product of it has always been more fascinating to me than the actual event.

As an older sister myself, the dynamic between Natasha and Yelena really struck home for me. Yelena’s pride in Nat and need for approval and validation from Natasha in conflict with realising Nat’s flaws, wrestling with her disappointment, seeing how human Nat is, were perfectly portrayed by Florence Pugh. I could completely relate to Nat, who, despite trying to convince herself otherwise, couldn’t fight her fierce protective instinct and specific brand of unconditional love that only an older sister will ever feel. 

A diverse set of Widows!

I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of comics references in this movie. The frame where she jumped through the fire from the Waid/Samnee run, the pheromonal lock.

Now I have my problems with Scarlett Johansson, but I came out of this movie with a lot of respect and a little bit of pride in her. It’s clear that she put her everything into this movie, both as an actor and executive producer. She obviously cares immensely about Nat and how she’s portrayed, and it’s clear from interviews that the things she loves and finds fascinating about Nat are the same as the fans. (I also feel a little bit sorry for the way she’s getting brushed over in the coverage in favour of a new and shiny Florence Pugh, so this is me expressing some ScarJo-as-Natasha appreciation).

A big question I had going in was, ‘Natasha’s always reflecting the people around her, but what’s she like when she’s alone, and has only her own mind for company?’ and this movie really answered that for me. Seeing her out of her suit and wearing clothes that were for her, not for a cover or a mission, seeing her drink beer and eat ice cream and let her hair dry while watching a Bond film she’s obviously seen many times before, it was all perfect. The scenes in the caravan were a huge step for humanising women in action movies. 

I’ll probably be adding to this post a lot because this movie will not leave my mind and new things are occurring to me at the most random points. 

See my ‘Things I...didn’t like as much about Black Widow’ post here.

[korra-the-red-lion]

An Observation from an MCU fan.

Hey everyone, Korra here. I just got back from Thor Love and Thunder the other day, as well as finishing Ms. Marvel and I’ve been having these thoughts for a while now but I’m going to try to put them in words. It’s perhaps a little bit of a criticism of some of the recent MCU ventures, a little of my own personal feelings, and just some thoughts in general I suppose.

The biggest one that I’ll talk the most about is too much content in too little time. I think we all know what I’m talking about, if you’ve been a part of the MCU fandom for as long as I have been, or even if you’re a causal fan. But in the past couple of years, there has been more Phase 4 content than nearly all the other Phases put together. And I’m being real here, I think some has been fantastic while others haven’t been. Mostly the shows I think have suffered from this.

The shows are all extra long movies with a whole lotta stuffing, except for maybe WandaVision. The Falcon and Winter Soldier was just a long Captain America movie with way too much going on, yet nothing happening all at the same time. Loki wasn’t bad but it spent too much time on Loki’s “redemption”, even though we had a very satisfying one through the movies that paid off gloriously. At least the show is getting a second season. Hawkeye was a fun venture, and I think Kate’s story was well done even if I found the ending to be a bit lackluster. I didn’t love Moon Knight, but that’s mostly because I felt like the show dragged on for too long whereas it would have worked as a movie to get through some of the meandering the show did. Ms. Marvel was a very character driven show that had a pretty weak plot in my opinion. WandaVision had the most satisfying character moments and plot moments, and if you skip/ignore the post credits scene, it tells a beautiful story about accepting grief and loss as part of life. I think the largest issue for the shows stems from the lack of proper vision and focus. Kevin Feige is busy watching over ALL these projects and I personally feel like you can see it now. Most of the shows needed someone to step in and say “No that can be removed, and maybe do this instead.” I’m all for creative decision making, don’t get me wrong. But if you’re using these shows to build stories into more movies and stuff, then they need to be engaging and connect to the larger picture somehow. 

Now the movies are still fun, entertaining popcorn flicks, as they should be. But I’ve found myself wondering, “Did we need an Eternals movie? Was Thor Love and Thunder and now a potential Thor 5 needed?” I thought after Endgame we’d see a switch to focus on what I thought would be the new generation of newly introduced Heroes (Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Scarlet Witch, Doctor Strange) since Steve, Tony and I thought Thor’s stories were finished. But every new project is introducing us to a new hero, someone else to keep an eye on. I’m excited for the idea of the Fantastic 4, loving the comics and the cartoon since I was a kid, but on top of everyone else it’s a lot. The Eternals introduced us to at least 5 people we need to keep an eye on. There are so many new characters that I feel like I’m losing track. Also, it does suck to me that our OGs (Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, etc) got to have franchises that they didn’t share the spotlight with, but Captain Marvel and seemingly some others don’t get that same curtousy. Am I excited about Kamala and Monica showing up in the Marvels? Absolutely. Am I little bummed out that we know very little of Carol’s life since she left Earth and now have to watch her share her storytime with two other people, one who just had a nearly 5hr movie to tell her story? Yup, I am. I’d be more down if this was the third film. And I love Yelena, don’t get me wrong, she’s one of the best new characters introduced, but I would have loved if the Black Widow movie was actually about Natasha. I mean, me and every other person who wanted a BW movie only asked for a Natasha solo film for 10+ years, so it would have been nice to see her get a trilogy like the boys.

At this point, it feels like the MCU cares more about bringing in the newest hero instead of focusing on the ones we already have. And I know the Pandemic caused mass delays and they’re playing catch up now, but there is literally a new MCU project every couple of months and if you don’t watch all of them, you’ll be lost when heading into the newest project. Didn’t watch WV? Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness might not be a enjoyable if you didn’t. Didn’t watch BW? Might miss out a pretty big reason why Yelena is even in Hawkeye. 

I miss the days when you could watch the movies and only be expected to watch the movies to be excited about the crossovers and team ups, but even if you missed one, that was okay. I liked watching the Defenders series and them being in their own little section of the MCU. I liked Agents of Shield just did its own thing. I liked Runaways and it having three self contained seasons that didn’t require hours and hours of prior knowledge.

Maybe there was no point in writing this post except to get my feeling out there. I still like the MCU, been a fan of it since I was 12 years old. But I’m starting to feel some fatigue from it, starting to see a dip in some quality storytelling. Not every movie needs to be CA: Winter Soldier or Thor Ragnarök level of good story telling and overall enjoyment, but I feel like we’re getting some weaker stories from the TV shows and it’s starting to show up in the movies as well because there’s too much for one man to focus his attention on. Don’t get me wrong either, Shang-Chi was probably one of the best Phase 4 movies out there so far, and probably one of the best Phase 4 properties in general, as well as being one of the better MCU movies. I absolutely loved WandaVision, I’ve watched it twice and think it’s even better the second time around. But I really thought tFatWS was boring. Thor Love and Thunder was okay, but it needed to be tonally controlled because some parts I thought were just a little cringey.

Maybe all I need from the MCU is to slow down. Focus on storytelling again, focus on the effects. Focus on the emotional impacts. And honestly, maybe not focus on churning out TV show after TV show. On average, they’re just “okay.” Anyway, guess I just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head. It’s fine if you disagree with me, it’s not going to offend me. If you read this far, thanks.

[let-me-luve-you]

Separated Cherries

Tom Holland x Sister

Summary: The reader deals with anxiety and one form of the readers anxiety is separation anxiety. She really misses Tom so he flies her to Cleveland while he’s working on Cherry. He later admits how hard it was for him to worry about her and focus on the seriousness of the character.

Warnings: anxiety, separation anxiety, angst, protective Tom, talks of Cherry (nothing is mentioned specific i don’t think, but I do mention that it was hard for Tom to film it and how it deals with difficult topics)

A/N: I’m awful. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for the late post but I hope you enjoy it!! This was for a special person and I hope they enjoy it! Also I mention a scene in Cherry but don’t go into detail but if you have watched the press tour, you may know what scene I’m talking about. Or if you’ve seen the movie, you may know what scene I’m talking about. I tried to avoid spoilers so I hope you like this story.

MASTERLIST      BUY ME A COFFEE

The days leading up to Tom leaving, you didn’t leave his side. He didn’t mind though. He loved having you around. You grounded him and reminded of the normal life he left behind when he went to be The Tom Holland the world knows and loves.

Earlier this month, Tom took you with him to Utah for a convention. You had never gone to one before so Tom thought this would be a good time. Tom also was being a little selfish and wanted you there with him since he was still dealing with the news of Spider-Man leaving the MCU.

Now he’s about to leave for Cleveland to film Cherry. A movie Tom knew was going to be a challenge for him. The Russo’s fought for him to be in this movie. They wanted Tom in this role more than anybody. They even got a job for Harry. You had asked Tom, when he first learned of the filming dates, if you could go with him. Since Tom knew the contents of the movie and how dark it was, he didn’t want you around that, so he said no.

Now, it’s the night before he’s leaving. You are curled up on his bed watching him pack his bag. “Don’t forget your blue light glasses.” You said.

“Already have them packed in my carry-on with my laptop and chargers.” He said to you with a smile. “Thank you though. I do forget them all the time.” You laughed.

You turned serious, “I’m going to miss you. I know you said I couldn’t go, but I still wish I could go with you.” Tom sighed.

“I know. I’m going to miss you too, but this film is just going to be dealing with a lot of serious issues and I don’t want you to have to see me like that.” He said, honestly.

“I know. Can I still call you though?” You asked sheepishly.

“Always.” He said before turning to his dresser to get socks and underwear. “So, what are your plans for the next few months?”

“I plan on helping mum. She apparently has a lot of shoots. Probably taste test all of Sam’s food.” You laughed.

“I’m so jealous. I have yet to find something I don’t like of Sam’s.” Tom said.

“He is a great cook.” Tom agreed. “Paddy apparently has a show he’s going to be on, so I’ll help him with that in any way I can. And Dad is working on a new book, so whatever he needs me to do, I’ll do.”

“You really are great, you know that?” Tom asked as he paused his packing to come sit next to you. He wrapped you in a hug. “Are you going to do anything for you?” You shrugged. “Do me a favor? Do something for you. Learn to do more for you. You help all of those around you, but you rarely do things for you. Draw more or hide away and read. Go out to a party or go do something with your friends. Remember to take care of you. Promise me, you’ll try to do that.”

“Promise.” You said. He squeezed you tighter in the hug and gave you a kiss on your head before getting up to finish his packing.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Tom finished packing and put his bags by the front door. You both got comfy on his bed and watched a movie. You were the first to fall asleep and first to wake up the next day. Tom’s and Harry’s flight wasn’t until 10 am and it was currently 630. You decided to make them a good breakfast so they would be fine until the flight gave out their lunch.

“What are you doing?” You heard a tired voice. You looked over your shoulder to see Tom walking up to sit at the counter. You smiled at him and fixed him a cup of tea.

“I’m making you and Harry breakfast.” You said cheerfully. You walked back over to the stove and finished making the eggwhite omelet. Tom was on a strict diet so you made something he could eat, but also something that he liked. You put it on a plate and set it in front of him.

“You didn’t have to do this.” Tom said. “But thank you. This looks delicious.” “What looks delicious?” Harry asked as he sat next to Tom. “Oooh. I want one.”

“It’s coming right up.” You said as you set a tea in front of him and turned back to making his omelette.

“Thank you Y/N.” Harry said, taking a sip of his freshly made tea. “Can I hire you to be my personal assistant?” You all laughed. “When we get home, I’ll treat you to dinner via Sam’s cooking.”

“Sounds good to me. I’m holding you to it.” You said. “I’m really going to miss you guys.”

“Just a few months and then we will be home for Christmas.” Tom said standing up to put his plate in the sink.

“I know. Still sucks. I hate when you leave.” You opened up. You had been holding it in. You felt bad for dropping it on him right before he leaves, but it needed to be said. “It always just feels different around here. I don’t know how to describe it, but it doesn’t feel like we are complete.”

“I know it’s not ideal to have two brothers that are constantly traveling for work. That we aren’t here for family dinners, but we are a phone call or text away. Reach out and we will try to answer as quickly as possible.” Tom said looking into your eyes. You could see that he meant them.”

“Ignore me. I’m just in my feels this morning. I’ll be okay.” You whispered. You wrapped Tom in a hug. “I’m proud of you, you know? It’s so great to see you out there doing what you love and seeing the people’s lives that you touch.”

“Thank you y/n/n. I love you.” Tom said kissing your forehead.

“Love you too.” You squeezed him tighter before pulling away and wrapping Harry in a hug. “Love you too Hairball.”

Harry scoffed at the nickname you gave him when you were both extremely young and you were mad at him. “Don’t call me that…” He paused before hugging you back. “Love you too.”

“Now you better get going before you’re late.” You said. “I also packed you small snack bags and put them in your carry ons.”

“You’re the best.” Tom said as he walked to put his shoes on. “Thank you y/n/n.” Harry said doing the same.

You watched them grab their bags and walk out of the house with one last smile. You sighed and went back to your room to take a nap. Already missing your brothers, you decided to turn on Spider-Man Homecoming.

It is now mid-October and you were missing Tom and Harry more than anything. You tried to hangout with Sam and Paddy more to try to not feel the sadness of missing your other two brothers. Paddy didn’t want to hangout with you. He was too busy hanging out with his friends and playing football. Sam was always at the restaurant or in the kitchen at your parents house. You would stay with him and watch him cook, but it wasn’t the same.

Your sleep schedule was messed up due to the fact you were staying up late watching Netflix. Looking over at the clock, it read 3 am. Pulling your phone from your bedside table, you pulled up Tom’s contact and decided to FaceTime him. It only rang for a couple of seconds before he answered.

“Is everything okay?” Tom asked worriedly. You could tell he was laying in bed.

“Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you.” You answered honestly.

“It’s 3 am where you are! Why are you not asleep?” His eyes widened as he realized how late it was for you.

“I can’t. My schedules messed up. I’m fine. Did I wake you?” You asked, scared of the answer.

“No. I was just watching some TV before I went to bed. I have a 7am call time.” He said and you breathed a sigh of relief for not waking him.

“How was filming today?” You said looking at his tired eyes.

“It was good. We did a hard scene today, but it went really well. We have another hard, long day again tomorrow.” Tom rubbed the tired out of his eyes. He was just about to fall asleep when called.

“I’m sorry you’ve had some hard days.” You said sincerely.

“Thanks but it’s okay. Thankfully Harry’s here. He’s really helping me.” Tom sighed.

“I’d help you if I was there. I know it’s hard, but I’m proud of you.” You said with your eyes tearing up.

“Are you doing okay?” Tom asked concern noticing the change of tone in your voice. “Mum said you’ve been at the house a lot.”

“I’m doing okay. I went and got my nails done today with Chandra.” You said showing Tom the Marvel based nails. With Tom only being a year older than you, he got you into Marvel when you were younger. Spider-Man was always your favorite and when Tom got the role, you celebrated just as much or even more than he did.

“I like them. They’re pretty.” Tom said with a small smile. “How are you holding up though with me and Harry being gone? I haven’t asked in a while.”

You sighed and looked away from Tom. You didn’t want him to know how much you missed him, but you missed your best friend. “I’m good. Been hanging out with friends more and I help Sam when he’s at home. Mum, Dad, and I have had movie nights. It’s been good.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, still concerned. You felt a tear you had been fighting fall down your cheek. You looked away from the phone. “Y/N/N. Look at me.”

Shaking your head, “I’m fine Tom. I just miss my best friend.”

“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.” He said.

“I’ll be okay.” You whispered.

“How about this…” Tom said. “Let me fly you out to visit. We are about to do some of the easier stuff and you can come stay with us while the scenes aren’t so intense.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m just being weird.” You said not wanting for him to be pressured into inviting you.

“Separation anxiety isn’t you being weird. It’s an actual thing.” He said sincerely. He cared about you. You didn’t know you had this issue until Tom got the role of Spider-Man and left for Atlanta. Your mum noticed you clingy to them more or your other brothers. When Tom arrived home you stuck to him like glue. Your mum decided to take you to a doctor to see if there was anything to do for you. You learned the anxiety medicine didn’t help you and talking to a therapist only went so far. All you wanted, was to be with your whole family.

“I’ll get Harry to schedule you a flight. Pack warm clothes and at least two weeks worth.” He said.

“No, Tom, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.” You fought back.

“I’m serious. Come stay with us. Harry will get your flight.” He kept fighting back.

“If you're sure.” You said softly. Tom almost didn’t hear it.

“I’m sure. I miss you too. Plus having you here may help me.” Tom said, laying back down on his pillow. You could tell he was tired, but he was staying awake for you.

“I appreciate it, T.” You spoke honestly. “I really do miss you. I love you.”

“Love you too y/n/n.” He whispered while fighting to keep his eyes open.

“Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Night.” Tom said before hanging up. You smiled knowing you were finally going to get to see your brother again very soon. You laid back on your bed and finally felt the exhaustion from staying up late. You could worry about what you were going to pack tomorrow.

When Tom told Harry to schedule you a flight out, Harry accidentally scheduled it too early. Tom still had some hard scenes to film. When you landed in America, he didn’t want you to come to set, but he didn’t want to leave you at home either.

Harry showed you where you could go and couldn’t. You basically only went to Tom’s trailer, the bathroom, the food tent, and Tom’s chair. Today, Tom begged you not to come because he knew the day was full of hard things. He knew what the last scene was going to be filmed and he didn’t want you to see that.

You insisted you could handle it. You didn’t want to be alone. You wanted to spend time with your brother. Tom finally gave in after you promised you would stay in his trailer during that final scene.

Throughout the day, you stayed close to Tom. When he wasn’t filming or on set, you were right beside him. He tried to be understanding of how you were feeling, but he really needed to step away from everything he’s been feeling for filming.

“How’s your sandwich?” Tom asked at dinner. It had been a long day and there was only one more thing to film before there were four days off.

“It’s good. How’s your salad?” You asked, pointing at his plate.

“It’s good.” He said nonchalantly. You knew he was craving more food. You had asked Harry to go get him a cheeseburger with fries. You looked up and noticed him carrying a bag from Five Guys.

You smiled and Tom looked over his shoulder. “Thanks for going to get that Harry.” You said as Harry sat next to you. You grabbed the bag and pulled out the burger and fries. “Eat up Tom. I know you’re hungry for more.”

“I can’t you guys.” Tom said in a defeated tone. “I’m still on this diet. I can’t. I can’t do that to everyone that’s working on this film.”

You sighed, “Tom, you have had salads everyday for two weeks. You can have one burger. You need more food.” Tom looked at you and then looked at Harry.

“I mean, I did go get it and I agree with Y/N. You do need to eat more and it will be okay. One cheeseburger won’t hurt.” Harry said. Finally Tom agreed to eating the food Harry brought. “Y/n/n are you going to set tonight?”

“No. I promised Tom I wouldn’t be there.” You answered honestly. Harry looked over at Tom shocked. Harry figured Tom would want you there since it’s such a hard scene. Maybe have someone other than him that’s familiar.

“You can come work with me.” Harry told you.

Tom looked up at him shocked. “I don’t want her to see this. It’ll be hard enough to have her watching it in the movie.”

“I think it’ll be good for her to be there. It’s a hard scene and I won’t be able to be there between takes.” Harry said. Harry was doing a new role tonight and needed to focus on that.

“It’s okay Harry. I can wait in the trailer. I brought my book.” You said with a smile. Trying to help Tom out so he doesn’t feel like he’s being teamed up on. Tom smiled at you gratefully. Harry turned to Tom and started to whisper something to him. You watched Tom’s demeanor change. He rolled his eyes before turning back to you.

“You can come. Bring your book and a blanket. You can sit in my chair.” Tom said finally giving into Harry.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind waiting in the trailer. Promise.” You told Tom. Tom finished eating his food before standing up to go to his trailer with you and Harry following. He walked in and grabbed your book off of the counter and grabbed your blanket. “Let’s go.” Tom said as he walked out the door towards the set.

“Tom. I’m not going.” You said. Harry shook his head and started to push you towards set. “I promised I wouldn’t go.”

“Come on y/n/n. I promise it’s okay. I don’t count this as a broken promise. I want you there.” Tom said with a sigh. You decided not to keep fighting with him about it. You ran to catch up with him and grabbed the blanket and book from him. “Thank you.” He whispered. “This is going to be a difficult scene to watch, so I’m sorry for what you have to see.”

“It’s okay Tom. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.” You said with a small smile.

Later that night, Tom was in the makeup trailer getting his makeup removed. You were sitting in his trailer with Harry waiting to go home. You tried to hold in your tears. You hated seeing Tom like that.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked.

“Great.” You said forcing a smile.

Harry looked at you skeptically and then nodded. He pulled out his phone and sent the video he got to Tom. You were exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep. You decided to lay down and rest your eyes until Tom got back. You were just about to fall into a deep sleep when you heard Tom walk in.

“Should I send this to mum?” Tom asked with a laugh.

“Do it.” Harry laughed. “But first, let’s go home. I think someone needs a bed.”

Tom looked over at your sleeping body. He smiled at you. Harry was right. Having you there helped him. This was probably the hardest scene he was going to have to film in the whole movie.

“Go get the car. I’ll bring her out.” Tom said as he started putting your stuff in your backpack. He quickly put his and your backpacks over his shoulder before he moved over towards you. He picked you up bridal style and made sure the blanket didn’t fall off. “Shhh. It’s just me. We’re going home.” He said when you started to wake.

Pulling up to the house, Tom decided to shake you awake this time. You woke and looked around confused before you unbuckled and walked into the house. You crashed on the couch and watched Tom set your backpack in the chair.

“How are you doing? Today was hard.” You said.

Tom picked your feet up and sat down before he placed your feet in his lap. He laid his head back. “Today sucked. I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.” Tom said with a sigh.

“Want to talk about it?” You asked.

“No. There isn’t much to talk about. I just need to get out of that mental mindset.” Tom said honestly. “How are you? That had to be hard to watch.”

You finally let a tear slip. “I’m okay. I just didn’t like seeing you like that.”

“I’m sorry. You weren’t supposed to see the hard parts.” He said, pulling you into a hug.

“It’s okay. I promise. It’s scary to think people actually go through that. I don’t want to see you or anyone go through this.” You whispered.

“Hopefully this movie brings light to these situations and starts a conversation.” Tom said, giving you a kiss on the head before releasing you. “Now no more talks of this. Let’s try to forget about today and watch a movie instead.”

Tom started up a comedy to try and bring the mood up. Harry joined you after changing into his pajamas. Mid way through the movie, you fell asleep. Tom looked over at you. He knew you being here helped you, but in his head he was worried about you and everything you were seeing. It was hard to focus on you and filming.

It’s now been a year since Tom finished filming Cherry. Tom invited you to come with him to film Spider-Man No Way Home. He went three months without seeing you after the pandemic due to his heavy film schedule for Uncharted. He knew those were hard days for you since you went from spending all day with him to not even seeing him.

Now Tom was doing press for Cherry since it is due to come out in a few weeks. He set up in the living room. Harry had got a ring light to make the videos look better. You were supposed to be out while Tom was doing his few interviews for the day, but you got back early. He still had one more to go. You decided to sit in your room so you wouldn’t interrupt.

Even with your door closed, you could hear Tom talking to the interviewer. What you heard made your heart stop.

“Tom, your brother and sister were with you when filming Cherry, right?” they asked.

“They were. Harry helped on the film. Even had a small role. And my sister, Y/N, came out to visit and stayed the rest of filming.” Tom answered.

“Did having them there help you?”

“It did. This was a role I had to go to a dark place. Having them there really helped ground me and bring me back from that dark place. They definitely had my back during these times. I was actually on a strict diet throughout filming. Y/N actually made Harry go get me a cheeseburger on her first night there because she knew that I needed a little more substance. I had two weeks worth of salads and she knew I needed a little more. On nights of hard filming, we would all sit in the living room and watch a comedy because it all took us a while to calm down from the day. So having them there was very important to me.”

“That's amazing to hear.” they said. “It’s always good to have family there for you. You said there were hard filming nights. Even though it was hard, which was your favorite?”

“There was one scene that was extremely hard to film. The entire day was hard. Sadly, it was my sister’s first day there. I didn’t want her to see those scenes, but it was good to have her there. The day was a couple of scenes that dealt with something with Emily. The whole day was based on that situation. It was a variety of emotions. I had to be scared, angry, sad.” Tom said. “I actually sent my mum a video from that and she was not happy. She called me immediately to tell me she didn’t appreciate it.” He laughed.

“Can you give us a hint of what that was?” they asked.

“I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s when I’m in the truck. You’ll know when you see it because it involves Emily and it’s very hard to watch.” Tom said.

“You say it’s hard to watch and that was your sister’s first day, how did she handle it? And how did Harry handle it?” you heard them ask. They were starting to dig deeper.

“Harry was the one that filmed that scene so I could send it to my mum.” Tom laughed. He knew Nikki would give him heck for it later, but he knew it was only because she cared. “My sister actually hated watching that scene. She’ll hate me for saying this, but she cried. It scared her because she said it felt real and she didn’t want to see anyone like that.”

“That makes sense. Both of you are close in age, how are the two of yours relationship? It has to be good for you to allow her to visit during such a hard movie.”

“We are very close. She’s my best friend. I can say this because she openly talks about it and helps raise money for charities, but she has anxiety and one thing that really affects her is her separation anxiety. It was great to have her on set because she brought me back to myself, helped me get out of that dark mindset. But at times, I felt I was more worried about her and making sure she was okay. Mixing the stress of taking care of her and the stress of playing the role was hard to take on.”

You listened and felt tears build up. You made Tom’s job harder. You felt a tear fall down your face and you held back a sob so Tom couldn’t hear. You immediately went to the closest and grabbed your suitcase. You started packing your clothes. Once you were finished you set it near the door and grabbed your laptop so you could find a plane ticket. Tom walked in as you were searching.

“Why is your suitcase out?” He asked, confused.

“I’m going home.” You said shortly.

“Why?” He questioned.

“I’m just a burden to you. I don’t want you to have to worry about me while you focus on filming. I just like being in the same city as you. I didn’t mean to add stress to you.” You said as a tear slipped.

Tom sighed, “You heard?” He asked. You nodded. “Did you hear everything?”

“I didn’t need to. I heard enough.” You said honestly.

“So you didn’t hear what I said after that?” He asked. You shook your head. “I told them that it was worth it. That I would go through 20 times the stress if it meant you were happy and safe. That your anxiety wasn’t holding you back. That I used some of the stress from caring about you to help with the film. You remember the emotional scene in Morocco.” You once again shook your head. “I used the stress to make that scene. I know that sounds bad, but I think that really helped me hit the emotion I needed.”

“That was a beautiful scene. From what I saw, it’s one of my favorites for you. It’s heartbreaking, but you made the viewers feel what you were feeling. That was because of me?” Tom nodded his head.

“I’m sorry for admitting to it, but just know, if we redid all of the filming, I would have you there from day 1. I love having you around. I have all this noise around me that is trying to change me and having you here helps keep me the kid from Kingston.” Tom said. “Please don’t leave. I really do want you here.”

You looked around at your room. You then focused on your suitcase. You thought about it. “I’ll stay.” Tom smiled when you looked at him. “Only if you promise me something.”

“Anything.” He agreed.

“If I am stressing you out, in the way, or affecting your work, you tell me. I’ll stay here for a few days or I’ll go home. I don’t want to burden you with my problems.”

“Your anxiety isn't a problem. It’s something you battle and I want to help you fight.” Tom interfered.

“I know. And you will. But if it affects you, it isn’t fighting, it’s a problem. So please promise me that you’ll tell me.” You begged.

“I promise. But know you are never a burden to me. You are my best friend and I love you. I want you here. Trust me on that.” Tom said as he pulled you into a hug. “Now, are you ready to go to dinner? We have an early day on set tomorrow.”

You nodded. You knew that your anxiety was a battle but you didn’t want to bother Tom. You knew he was telling the truth when he said you weren’t a burden. You knew the thought would come back, but you had to tell yourself that it was your anxiety. Now working on your separation anxiety would be worked on at a later date.

[wenellyb]

My journey in the MCU fandom on Tumblr: Sharing my thoughts on the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, racism in the MCU fandom and the best and the worse of the fandom

I wasn’t going to write this much but here I am… I don’t even know where I’m going with this but since The Falcon and the Winter Soldier just recently came out, I wanted to share some thoughts.

I joined Tumble because of a show I loved but most of you don’t know it “ Hit the Floor”

I stayed on Tumblr for two reasons only, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan.

Before the Captain America:Civil War premiere, a friend sent me the link to the Sebastian and Anthony ET interview, and I was hooked. In just one interview. I discovered Anthony Mackie. The guy was hilarious!!! I just couldn’t get enough and I knew I had to know more about him. How could he improvise so many funny lines on the spot? He was just amazing.

I had pretty much watched all the avengers movie but that was it. I was not involved in the fandom. So I knew Sam Wilson’s face, but I couldn’t even remember his name if my life depended on it. That’s how much the MCU treated him as a side character.

I was like how the f*ck don’t I know this guy?

His talent reminded me of Eddie Murphy, Jim Carrey or Robin Williams, like yes they can make some emotional or serious movies, but when they want to make you laugh, you will laugh. Whether you want it or not.  I kept wondering how this guy wasn’t more famous.

And the banter with Sebastian Stan? Wow, you could tell their friendship was strong, the way Sebastian lighted up when Anthony was talking, and keep bouncing off his jokes. It was art. the way Sebastian said “ I love you” at the end of the interview. Pure gold.

I then started to watch some of the interviews and boy was that a mistake!!! I literally couldn’t get enough. So I watched all and I say all their interviews, it was the best. We got some gems:

“Why aren’t you looking at me as much”

“Which way is the beach Seabass”

*Them saying nonsense in Spanish and then Sebastian Saying Papi Chulo*

 ¨And so many more, ....

I watched other solo Anthony interviews and he was still HILARIOUS, but you could also tell he felt a little bit more at ease with Sebastian around. I won’t pretend I know him or his personality, but Sebastian seems like a little bit more of an introvert and looks like he doesn’t enjoy the interview experience unless Anthony id around him. Just my thoughts

I watched the interviews before I went to see the movie, I even cosplayed as the Winter Soldier to the movie premiere and I was IN!!! When I saw Captain America Civil War, I became a SamBucky shipper, these two were hilarious and I really so the potential for a great realtionship I love enemy to lovers stories.

I also shipped Stucky because, to me, the trope of the movie was Superhero gives up everything to protect his long term friend” Hollywood movies have some codes and if Bucky were a female character, there is no doubt in my mind that the movie would have been marketed as romance.

Stucky really was an easy ship! But then the MCU fandom of Tumblr fandom messed up everything for me. You see I really liked the CACW and I I liked Stucky, I liked Sambucky, and I loved the introduction of t’Challa’s character, but one of things that affected me the most in the movie was that it was the first blockbuster I watched with 3 black main characters, Rhodey, Sam and T’Challa. That, and the fact that they were planning to realease a Black Panther movie in two years, I was super excited, and that’s the main reason I got involved in the MCU fandom so much, when before, I was just a casual watcher.

If this seem weird to you, then you have no idea how we were only getting crumbs before. For me it was soo huge, I even told all my friends, and they were laughing at me. But usually blockbusters, especially superhero movies get one black character and that’s it, usually the best friend or something and never the leads. So, for me it really was a big deal. How sad is that by the way…

I became more involved in the fandom and, at first, I wasn’t focusing on anything special, Sambucky, Stucky, Stackie, the Black Panther, and even Zemo, whose character I really liked.

But soon I noticed that the CACW tags were always flooded, and I mean flooded with the same two white characters: Steve and Bucky. I told myself, ok that’s fine Steve is the lead after all, but it would be good to see the other characters too.

And then I noticed another interesting trend: Evanstan…. Wait what?

Chris Evans, and Sebastian Stan… did I miss something? Listen, obviously I’m sure they must be friends or something, but you’re going to tell me you watch all MCU the actors and you’re going to focus on Steve and Sebastian? I’m sorry what?

Sebastian and Anthony are right there… Or Chris and Anthony, they even have a secret handshake, only the 2 of them do… what more do you want?

Tell me one iconic Evanstan moment… go ahead tell me… See??? There isn’t.

Because of this and because of how badly some Stuckies were treating Sam and Anthony. I became less and less of a stucky shipper . I mainly focused on SamBucky, Stackie and the Black Panther,

And then the Sebastian Stan stans saw how popular Stackie, Sambucky, were becoming and I started to see some problematic stuff in our fandom too.

I don’t want to generalize, but when you go into the Stackie tag, and you see cropped pictures of Sebastian without Anthony, it’s easy to assume that a Sebastian fan did that. And we know damn well you cropped out Anthony because we watched all Stackie interviews and know exactly which interview your picture was taken from. We know that Anthony was sitting right next to Seb.

You post a picture of Sebastian laughing but you crop out the person who was making him laugh??

“but it has nothing to do with race” How do you know that?

“Sebastian had more screen time” More screen time than Anthony in CATWS or CACW? I don’t think so.

“I have been a fan of Sebastian for longer”, that’s fine but don’t go out cropping Anthony, just post gifs of Seb in his usual, sad, and Anthony-less interviews, not the ones where he’s smiling because his best friend is next to him.

Some of you really are the worst. And just so you know, your fave Sebastian is Anthony’s biggest fan, if he saw pictures where you cropped out Anthony, he would block you on the spot.

When I realized that Anthony Mackie would be the next Captain America I was screaming, no actually, I was crying, Sam Wilson will be Captain America, and Anthony would finally get the recognition he deserves.

You would think that the MCU fandom would focus on Captain America or at least one the two leads, instead of just Sebastian? Right? Right? WRONG.

Anthony is handsome, he’s funny, he’s a great actor, he went to freaking Julliard, he’s at the top, I don’t see what else the man can do??? He should already be a superstar, but no, you will side-line him even to he is the lead of the show.

Even when they are the actual leads, you guys would do anything to bring up the White characters even if it means ignoring the Black characters.

I remember I was having a conversation about Black Panther with my friends and I asked one of my white friends who was his favorite character in BP was and he told me Martin Freeman (don’t even remember his name in the movie) Martin Freaking Freeman, there are half a dozen of great characters and your fave is the only white man??? Ok, ok, that’s great.

Don’t give out automatic reply like “It has nothing to do with race, if you haven’t thought about it first”, because there’s a high probability that it is indeed about race. Stop saying it isn’t, sit down and ask yourself, “Am I biased?” “Why am I reblogging only stuff related to the white characters”.

One of these days you guys are going to make me hate Sebastian with the sh*t you are pulling.

I looove the Stackie friendship and the Sambucky dynamic but after seeing the way some of you treat Anthony and Sam’s character, it make me want to focus on Sam’s character and forget about the rest.

 I remember they were some posts about how Anthony was problematic, and I just lost it. Apparently, there was an old article that resurfaced were Anthony was making a joke about women making sandwiches or something.

If you were offended by the sandwich joke, that is totally ok, and I can understand that.

But if you were offended by the sandwich joke, and saying Anthony is problematic BUT you still stan Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, ScarJo or even Sebastian Stan, just know that there is a high probability you’re racist.

They have all said or done problematic stuff, and people only seem to remember stuff related to Anthony, which was probably just a joke by the way.

Chris Evans and Jeremy called Black widow a wh*re, ScarJo took roles that she maybe shouldn’t have and I didn’t forget Sebastian shady Instagram post, when Kaepernick was kneeling. There are so many more things to be said about Jeremy Renner but google is your friend.

Anthony also got hate for hating on Tom Holland? Like what? Do you guys even hear yourselves? Don’t you have any friends you like to tease? If you hate someone, do you go around talking about him every chance you get? It was obviously friendly banter but some people wanted to turn it into something it was not. Sigh.

I really cannot with this fandom

 The stackie fandom was small at the beginning and the Sambucky fandom even smaller, but we were there and it was amazing. Sebastian and Anthony received the same amount of love from the fandom and I wish we could go back to those days.

Stop pretending the fandom isn’t racist. Stop saying “it isn’t about race” when you haven’t even thought about.

Saying “it has nothing to do with race” only shows that you haven’t thought about anything but don’t want to be called a racist.

There is racism in this fandom and it will always be there, but if you guys want to do anything about it, you have to acknowledge it first.

You can’t be pulling off stuff like “I don’t see colors”, “ it has nothing to do with race”. Stop, sit down, think about it and then we can have a conversation.

If you’ve made it till the end, I apologize for the typos and grammar mistakes, I wasn’t planning on writing this much.

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recomendations 2021: Week 3 | January 10-16

Welcome to week 3 of my recommendation, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #ktkvcbreadinglist, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.

Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.

«Last Week

Week 4»

My Masterlist

Andy Barber

One-Shot’s

Imagine by @worksby-d • Andy Barber x Reader – Reader takes their chances teasing and tempting Andy, but he can only take so much. | Really good smut.

Good little girl by @donutloverxo • Mob!Andy Barber x Reader — Married life isn’t always easy. Will you be able to solve your problems? (Part 1) | Let me just say the first part sort of darkish but not really? Also I can’t help but read Mob!Andy anything.

Ransom Drysdale

One-Shots

Introducing Chaos by @the-iceni-bitch • Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader — Ransom brings you to your first Thrombey family dinner, and you make a splash | I laughed so much while reading this and the smut was so good. It’s a really good read.

Drabbles

Playing Games by @just-one-ordinary-fangirl • Ransom Drysdale x Reader — Ransom, the man you loved, did the unforgivable. You confront him about it. | This left me wanting more so badly.

Chris Evans

One-Shot’s

Tonight’s Show by @theblvckvenus • Chris Evans x Fem!Reader — You come home to surprise Chris and his interviewer. But the excitement gets him the better of him and as soon as its over you’re in big trouble. | Came for the show definitely stayed for the smut ;)

Drabbles

Stranger on the Train by @carpediemm-18 • Chris Evans x Female!Reader — Chris comes to the aide of the reader on a late night subway ride. | Sweet and Short

Steve Rogers

Amorosa by @honeysucklesteve • Sugar Daddy!Steve x SugarBaby!Reader — you were drowning, barely surviving in new york city working at an upscale restaurant; the only thing keeping you barely afloat. when steve rogers, vp of stark industries, overhears your troubles, he proposes an agreement that’ll benefit the both of you. should you take it and suffer the consequences is up to you. | I have a huge weakness for Sugar Daddy fics, don’t ask me why but I do. This does not disappoint and it’s got some really good smut in it. Thank you Eleanor!

Bucky Barnes

The Winter Ghost by @msmarvelwrites • Bucky Barnes x Reader — A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change. | Get yourself some tissues because you will cry. Brontë wrote the smut moments perfectly that it flowed with the the rest of the chapters so perfectly. Nothing felt rushed, the story was just so perfect.

Picking Up the Pieces [1/3] by @gogolucky13 • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not. [Modern AU] | For anyone who has ever felt like they were the second best, this is for you. I teared up while reading. Looking forward to see where this goes.

A Favor [1/?] by @buckysbabygorl • Bucky Barnes x Reader — After breaking up with her boyfriend; Y/N drunkenly admits to the team that she’s never had sex. Not only is she single, but she’s looking. | If you are looking for a laugh, this is the place to go, I’m excited to see where this goes.

One-Shot’s

Teacher’s Pet by @nastybuckybarnes [Dark Fic] • AlphaProfessor!Bucky x Omega!Reader x AlphaProfessor!Steve — The perfect omega doesn’t exist, right? Well, Steve and Bucky think they might’ve just found her in the form of one of their students. And they’re not gonna stop until they have her begging beneath them. | Okay this is such a good A/B/O one-shot. Like it’s got the little bit stuff you need instead of just jumping straight into the good stuff. Which isn’t bad, but sometimes a little bit of a burn, is so good. I highly recommend.

The Thought That Counts by @imerdwarf • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Reader offers to brush Bucky’s hair | All the fluffy fluffy-ness you could want or need.

On His Shoulder by @whateveriwant • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Five separate occasions in which Bucky tells you to put something on his shoulder. | A one-shot that made me wish I was somebodies Jack to somebodies ass. In all honesty Sam does a magnificent job giving reader a nickname and making this one-shot so unbelievably good. You got some laughs, some fluffs, and some smut.

Till The End Of The Line by @chanelsebbie • Bucky Barnes x Reader — You and Bucky go on a mission together to hopefully put a dent in H.Y.D.R.A., but things don’t go as planned. | Shaye how dare you, I cried, this is just so beautifully written and I just want more. Like I was waiting to see more and have him come back. I couldn’t make a link for this one-shot don’t know why, so here you all go.

Drabbles

Boob Move by @nano--raptor • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Y/N falls asleep with her boob hanging out on Bucky’s couch | I’ve never read something so funny yet hot all at once.

Drops of Jupiter by @imerdwarf • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Bucky has a nightmare and you find him on the rooftop looking up at the stars. | All The Fluff!

Lee Bodecker

One Shots

505 by @captain-barnes-writes • Dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader — On her summer break from college, Y/N embarks on an affair with Lee Bodecker. But she realizes that not all that drips from his lips is honey. | If you are looking for some dark Lee Bodecker, but I mean it’s Lee.. with some of angst thrown in and some smut, this one-shot is for you!

Misc.

Drabbles

I See You by @sevans-is-my-weakness • Colin Shea x TJ Hammond x F!Reader — TJ Hammond is your roommate and Colin Shea is your guys neighbor. | Short read that I enjoyed but I suggest also reading through this masterlist, there’s so much I want to share!

Writers

@bbonkyy - is one of my all time favorite writers but I could be bias as we are friends. I know they haven’t published in a really long time but they still deserve some recognition. They do take request, trust me they write some amazing smut! *chefs kiss*

@nsfwsebbie - Please please please do yourself a favor and check out Sabrina’s concepts masterlist, dark fics, and masterlist, I’m slowly making my way through them. Sabrina has got some writing talent in them and I love reading what they put out!

@mypoisonedvine - Looking for an eclectic collection of characters and different choices to choose from? j.d. has you covered with their stories. I love their writing, the dark, the fluffy and smut.

Writing Challenges:

Mostly a Milestone Writing Challenge hosted by @mostly-marvel-musings | What you need to know: You can write for celebrities but they have to be from the MCU or you can write for MCU characters. You do not have to reserve a spot in this challenge. OFC’s, any pairing, AU is welcome. The due date as of right now is the end of 2021 and the theme is... Romance Movies

Shout Out To My...

@redhead-wine-and-literature-club — Mods Scarlett and Ruby say they read and write fanfiction usually with a glass a wine to go with it. They are pairing characters (Steve and Bucky) Sebastian and Chris have played with wines. In February they’ll have daily prompt challenges. You can check out the club's welcome post here!

[lucianalight]

Loki 1x01 Review

This is a long post. It includes scene by scene comments, theory for the show and analysis. There is also criticism of the show. Like a lot of it. So if you don’t want to see negativity about the show and also TR, don’t read this post.

*Spoilers for Loki 1x01 and also Loki Agent of Asgard comic book*

Scene by Scene Comments

The very first scene was idiotic and ridiculous. The way Loki starts monologuing to the first people he meets was ooc and doesn’t make sense. It actually gave me second hand embarrassment. If it was supposed to be funny, the joke didn’t land. It was ooc because Loki isn’t a narcissistic egotistical idiot. And it doesn’t make sense because in Avengers Loki starts introducing himself to SHIELD in that way. An enemy, an organization who would oppose Loki in his invasion. In that situation Loki wants to be known. Escaping from imprisonment and landing on some unknown place without knowing who he is dealing with, Loki wouldn’t introduce himself that way. Remember that in Thor1, Loki stands back and observes as Thor talks to Laufey, and only interfere to calm things down. And even when he visits Laufey alone, he still isn’t so full of himself. In TDW when he sees Jane he introduces himself casually and calmly and not in a superior way. The only time, he is acting weirdly is in Avengers and under the influence of mind stone, but I guess we’re ignoring the mind influence, right? Smh.

“So, if you don’t mind this is actually your last chance. Now get out of my way.”

Good, good. In character. I like that.

I didn’t like the scene where the machine vanished Loki’s clothes because of the invasive and non-con way it felt. This scene is enough to show that TVA aren’t good guys and for me to hate them even more. Again, if the scene was supposed to be comedic, I didn’t find it funny. Neither I found the following scenes funny.

“What if I was a robot and I didn’t know it?”

I guess this line was for laughs too, but if you consider Loki’s identity issues, that he didn’t know he was from another species his whole life, that his mind and memories were tampered with by Thanos, it’s actually heartbreaking. But I guess all that doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is jokes.

I don’t know why I missed the oppressive theme of TVA the first time from trailers. But it’s clear now. Specially from the Miss Minutes introduction of TVA. It kind of reminded me of dystopian books like “1984” and “Mortelle”.

Blue eye color is canon? I’m OK with it but I prefer green eye color for Loki. I still haven’t forgotten this movie and its posters unlike the show’s creators.

They made Loki canonically genderfluid. I like it.

When Loki was in the trial, why after he was defeated and arrested by Avengers, he would think that they were trying to stop his success through time travel? What kind of idiotic conclusion is that? Doesn’t he know about Thanos? He was sent by him. Another ooc reaction. Smh.

“Oh, believe me you can smell the cologne of two Tony Starks.”

I laughed so hard at this. Oh, be still my frostiron loving heart! :D

TVA is so absurd. How can people who are unaware of a sacred time line, and an organization that keeps it in line and their own story, are breaking laws if they do sth in contradiction to it!? That’s really irrational.

Why Loki didn’t try to use his powers until the trial? Plot hole!

- “You ridiculous bureaucrats will not dictate how my story ends!”

- “It’s not your story Mr. Laufeyson. It never was.”

Direct hints to stories and how everything supposed to happen according to some gods. Parallels to Loki Agent of Asgard story line. I like it. I hope Loki ends up disrupting all their rules and dictations.

I don’t understand why Loki would be surprised by how TVA looks like. A thousand year old prince who has seen many planets in his life. We’ve seen other developed planets in MCU that work without magic. Another plot hole imo.

Hated the talky talky scene just like the trailer.

“There’s only one person you can trust.”

Agreed Loki :P :D

“I live within whatever path I choose.”

Good line! AoA parallel.

“You’re just a little pussycat.”

I hate you more and more by the minute Mobius.

After Earth, Loki wants Asgard and the nine Realms? They’re definitely going for a power hungry egotistical characterization. Smh.

“For nearly every living thing, choice breeds shame and uncertainty and regret. There’s a fork in every road, yet the wrong path always taken.”

You expect me to accept Loki without the influence of mind stone is a dictator? The person who literally was saying I choose my own path and story a moment ago, is against choice? This would make sense in Avengers as projecting his situation with Thanos. But free from him? No. It’s ooc. He can be referring to his own mistakes as a result of his choices but even then, he isn’t against choice and freedom. As much as I hate TR, as king he let other realms have more freedom.

Shut up Mobius. No, he’s enjoying the chaos around him. He doesn’t even look at the guy.

“I’ll do what I want to do!”

Finally! My favorite Loki line :D

“Like you did your mother?”

SHUT UP MOBIUS! WTF! He didn’t send Kurse to his mother or Thor. What Kurse found after he got out of the prison, was the device to the shield surrounding the palace which he turned off. Malekith found Frigga because he was able to locate the Aether in Jane. And Kurse found them on his own. I’ve been in fandom for years and even the most avid Loki haters haven’t said that Loki killed his mother! I thought I couldn’t hate anyone more than Thanos. But Mobius proved me wrong. I hate him with a burning passion. My dear Loki! Did you see his face when he saw his mother’s death? The way he asked about her? His tears?

“You weren’t born to be king Loki. You were born to cause pain and suffering and death.”

Odin: “Wherever you go, there is war, ruin and death.”

I had theorized before the series that Mobius can be a father figure to Loki. Apparently, he is another Odin. Even worse than him.

OK, they have lots of infinity stones and magic doesn’t work in TVA. That answers why everyone suddenly can touch the Tesseract. But where these people come from and what is their species? The show never answered that.

Tom’s performance in the scene where Loki watches his life was fantastic!

Ngl, watching Loki defeating that TVA guard was enjoyable! :D

Theory:

Mobius told Loki, the variant they’re after who is killing TVA agents is Loki. There are two possibilities here.

1.     He is the same Loki, but he has gone in the past to destroy TVA just like King Loki in AoA.

2.     He is another variant.

I really like to see Loki actually destroys TVA. I hate them. I think if that’s going to happen, Mobius would side with Loki learning that TVA aren’t actually good guys.

The hints to Loki’s story and also that “gods to gods” line makes me hope for a story line similar to AoA, where Loki who becomes the god of stories through the series, defeats the Time-Keepers.

Analysis:

The first episode introduced TVA and tried to give us a deeper look into Loki’s psychology through a review of MCU movies. The audience are meant to accept Mobius’ POV-who is a hero coded character- of Loki as truth. But this POV is mostly retcon and inaccurate. Notice how the events of first movie, Loki’s origin story, and also his redemption in TDW where he saved Jane’s and Thor’s lives were completely ignored in favor of the lie the narrative was trying to feed to us. Loki’s actions in Avengers without knowing the first movie and his involvement with Thanos, the torture and mind influence he suffered, don’t make sense. But the narrative explained all of this as Loki being power hungry and in desperate need to control. Yes, Loki wants control. But of his own life when it was taken from him since the first movie that he learned all his life was a lie. He only tried to gain control through hurting people and inspiring fear in Avengers and under mind influence. That isn’t how he acted other in other movies.But those other instances were ignored.

Mobius is the sum of every pro-TR fan who claim they like Loki, but he deserved everything he got because he has done horrible thing. He echoed Odin’s claim in saying that Loki causes pain and death. And he reminded me of TR Thor who put Loki down for who he was and then told him he could be more after torturing and humiliating him. From what it looks like, we’re going to see another redemption story where Loki tries to become better by the help of a hero coded character. Smh. As if we haven’t seen the same story line for Loki again and again and again…

The comedy is bad. Like really bad. The scenes that were meant to be funny, seemed exaggerated and overly cartoonish. The only times I actually smiled was when Loki tried to threatened that guy who didn’t know what a fish was and him saying he lost a bet to Thor.

Other than exaggeration in comedy, Tom’s performance specially in emotional scenes is great as always. Loki’s lines are mostly in character and are well-written.

I liked the hints to AoA story line. I’ll be happy if the show ends up like AoA, with Loki accepting himself. Hopefully he burns TVA to the ground along the way.

The episode has both pros and cons. But despite the parts I liked in it, I wasn’t really impressed. The tone and pace of it wasn’t done well and while Loki was in character in many scenes, there were enough inconsistencies in characterization that even created plot holes in some scenes. I give this episode a 6 out o 10 at most and only because of Tom’s performance.

All in all, I think any fan can find sth they like in the show from many appearances of Loki in MCU. But you know the saying. If you try to make everyone happy, you end up making no one happy. I hope the next episodes will be better than this.