#I haven’t decided whether that’s true or not yet
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beautyqueenproblems · 1 year ago
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Cheesin’ n’ pleasin’
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salemlunaa · 10 days ago
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。o○ it’s just meditation ○o。
you’re not getting what you want because you don’t understand that
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no, it’s not magic. no, it hasn’t been unheard of before the days of social media. no, it’s not role play. no, millions of people, some of which don’t even have social media, aren’t coming together to lie. no you’re not a loser because you haven’t shifted yet, you have time. no, you’re not going anywhere. no, your soul isn’t lifting to the higher place of power. no, it’s not a dark place where a genie is in the corner doing your bidding.
it’s just meditation
its a meditative state that you induce: a state of consciousness you reach through meditation. you are just setting intention’s without the barrier of the 3d, that’s it, you aren’t conjuring any thing up with magic, you are setting intention. And when you leave this state of pure consciousness those intentions will come into fruition, and stay that way.
Let’s say your life is a game, and in this game you have a certain body and you want a new one, you want your avatar to change. You’re not conjuring up a new body out of nowhere, you go to the game’s coding space and you moderate things, you set an intention for it to come out in the game. You aren’t leaving the game, you aren’t going to a whole new computer, you aren’t making a new body out of thin air, you’re just setting intention, in this state of total control.
And the only, quite literally the only reason that some of you can’t wrap your heads around how easy it is to induce this is because of society, that’s the only reason, for so long you get told that you must work for all you have and that life isn’t fair and that if something is illogical (by society’s measure) it isn’t real, and i say by society’s measures because inducing a state of consciousness with meditation can be backed up by logic so quickly but people hear the word “manifestation” and decide to write it all off as a joke or unreal.
But let me tell you that resistance, created by what you’ve been taught is the only reason you’re finding it hard, not because the void works for everyone else but you. Not because you keep falling asleep, not because you “just can’t”, it’s because of resistance.
you could have everything you’ve ever dreamt of right now because a meditative state of pure consciousness is all it is, and it’s so easy to induce.
If you go into it with this mindset that you need to put in effort, you will sit there for 20 minutes with your “instant method” wondering why you’re “trying so hard” (immediately no) and nothing is happening. If you go into it with a mindset that when you shift consciousness you get all these symptoms and it’s this whole extravaganza where your soul lifts out of your body, you’re going to be sitting after the 30th minute repeating the same tired affirmations wondering why you just can’t do it.
you don’t need effort, breathe, affirm “I AM” or daydream, or just focus on the darkness of your eyelids and you’re good to go. you’re doing everything right, don’t double check, why would you need to? you’re a god and you’re doing everything right in your reality.
your mind is genuinely an amazing place that makes all these things possible, it’s sounds too good to be true for you and that’s where you go wrong. you don’t have to spend weeks reprogramming your views on pure consciousness, just trust that you are that powerful and you can do those things. because you can, whether you like it or not your mind just is that powerful. No one’s mind is more powerful than someone else’s just because they managed to induce pure consciousness earlier. Your mind is just insanely powerful, that isn’t up for speculation or debunking, it’s just fact.
remember there’s no trial and error for a god, you just do and you just be. you succeed at everything,
go in there with that confidence.
🩰🍵 it’s nothing special, when you get that, you’re good to go.
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artist-issues · 1 year ago
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If you haven’t seen Wish yet and you love Disney, do not go see it. I am telling you now. It is ripping out the hearts of the Disney movies you love and then waving their corpses around as if celebrating those hearts.
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I’ll explain why, again: the message of Wish? Awful. Anti-Disney.
But they've been doing this for a long time. Saying one thing with their movies, and saying another with their PR and Disney Parks Soundtracks.
I'll explain.
Main Idea of Disney's Wish (and the You Are the Magic theme park song and merch): "The power to make your wishes come true is in you."
Most Disney Movies' Idea on How to Have Wishes: "Do what's right, (trust a higher power) and something even more wonderful than what you wished will happen."
Don't try to argue with me about this. You have to look underneath the slogans and the sweater designs and the song titles to what the stories actually support to acknowledge this.
Because you can’t say “do what’s right” has power unless you answer the question “who gets to decide ‘what’s right?’” (Which, coincidentally, is a question Wish brings up and then doesn’t answer.)
Audiences of Disney used to accept that wishing on a star was much like prayer; there’s something you long for, and it’s out of your hands, but you wish for it and you do what you know is right in the meantime. And you’re not crushed, you’re not downhearted, because somewhere in your mind you trust that the combo of those two things—wishing on a higher power and diligence to do what’s good—will be what makes your wish come true.
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Trust in a higher power—COMBINED WITH:
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—diligence to do what’s good.
The Blue Fairy (higher power) gave Geppetto his wish specifically because he had demonstrated commitment to do good, whether he got what he wanted or not. The Fairy Godmother (higher power) gave Cinderella her wish specifically because she kept on being kind and good to low creatures like mice and wicked stepsisters, whether she got what she wanted or not.
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Do you know why that combo (higher power + diligence to do good) is impactful? Timeless? Important?
Because it’s selfless. You want something, but you’re not going to sacrifice doing the right thing to get it. You’re not going to focus so hard on making what you want a reality, on your own, that you miss out on things that could be more important than what you want. And, you’re not so self-focused as to believe that if you don’t do it, it won’t get done.
Jeez, that’s the whole point of The Princess and the Frog!
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Tiana wishes to have her own restaurant, and she believes that only her own hard work will grant that wish. She misunderstands her dad’s advice before he dies. She isn’t willing to trust a higher power combined with her own diligence to do good—she only trusts her own ability.
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It’s not until she realizes that Ray, the character of faith, was right all along that she learns—what she wished for was too self-focused. It wasn’t complete without love. Something bigger than herself. And getting that was never going to happen just based on her own hard work.
But you know what? It was never going to happen just by a “higher-power” flavored shortcut, either. Because Facilier offers her her wish if she’ll just trust him, no hard work needed. But what does she say?
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Trust in a higher power + diligence to do what’s right = selflessness, and getting more than you could have ever wished for. And if your wish is selfish, doing those two things will change your wish into something selfless.
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More examples? Get ‘em while they’re hot, in case Wish made you forget, just like the current #NotMyDisney executives have forgotten, what real Disney wishes are for.
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Belle wishes to have adventures in the great wide somewhere--but when she's imprisoned and that chance is taken from her it's not reversed because she worked hard to make her wish come true. It's granted because she gave up her wish for her father: she just did the right thing, regardless of her wish. And in the end, she does get what she wished for, which is adventure in an enchanted castle...and much more, because she gets true love, a throne, and a castle full of friends.
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How about the One Who Started It All? The one Wish is failing to pay genuine tribute to?
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Snow White wishes for someone to love her, and he does--but when they're separated, she does not exercise power to make The Prince come back to her. Instead, she loves who she can where she’s at—the Dwarfs. In the meantime, she has faith that he will keep his promise, and that pure trust in a higher power outside of her control is a big contributing factor to why the Dwarfs come to love her, and learn from her...and in the end, even more than she could've wished happens. He does take her to his castle, but she also has seven new friends who also love her, and the Queen is dead. And she didn’t need to use “the power in her” to work harder and get it done. She just needed to not focus so much on herself at all.
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How about a male main character? One who’s wish starts out selfish, but after learning to wish on a higher power and be diligent to do the right thing, gets more than he could wish for?
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Aladdin wishes to be somebody different (somebody he believes Jasmine could love, somebody who lives in a palace and is respected and “never has any troubles at all.”)—but doing everything in his own power for that wish proves that it was selfish all along; so he switches to doing the right thing, regardless of if his wish comes true, and he gets even more than he could’ve wished. He gets real love with Jasmine, he gets his friend Genie, and he gets to be free from feeling “trapped” because he doesn’t have to hide who he is anymore.
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Or Simba?
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Simba wishes to get to do whatever he wants as King—but when Mufasa dies and he’s convinced it’s his fault, it isn’t for that wish that he goes back to Pride Rock to confront his past and his Uncle. It’s because he had an encounter with a higher power—his father—that helped him to realize his wish was selfish all along. He gives up the selfish wish, and he goes back to take his place as king, not so he can do whatever he wants, but so that he can take self-sacrificial responsibility that comes with ruling. And because he just does the right thing, finally, he gets more than what he wished for.
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How about something more recent? Zootopia.
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Judy wishes to make the world a better place by proving she can be what she wants to be and catching bad guys—but when she tries to make her wish happen on her own, in her own abilities, she fails and is forced to realize that she should’ve been looking for help by understanding “bad guys,” like Nick. It’s only after she humbled herself, admits she’s wrong, and changes her wish from “proving I can be what I want and catching bad guys” to “proving that understanding each other makes the world a better place” (much less self-focused) that her wish comes true—and so much more. She does make the world a better place, and she does get to catch bad guys, but she also gets to befriend one who was a good guy all along, and become all-around more effective at her dream job.
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This is how Disney always has been. Because it’s at the heart of good storytelling, and even life (not to get too dramatic.)
The power is not in you. Because it’s not about you. Self-sacrifice, faith, and doing the next right thing regardless of if you get your heart’s fondest desire is what makes more than just your wishes come true. And there has to be belief in a higher power to make that message powerful.
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But Wish?
Not only is it bad at showing instead of telling. Not only is it lazy and soulless.
But it’s characters rip the Star out of the sky and say “don’t wish on this. Wish on yourself, to get what you wish for. You don’t need a higher power. You don’t even need to sacrifice to do what’s good—whatever you do is good, because you are the one doing it.”
That is wrong. That is not true, and it is not powerful. There’s no sacrifice in focusing on or placing your trust totally in yourself, and it undoes every good thing Disney has done up until now.
And it undoes it on the 100th anniversary, and it flaunts Easter eggs of the very things it’s undoing.
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rambling-at-midnight · 15 days ago
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Guide Me Home
Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader
Summary: While walking downtown, you inhale fear toxin. It's up to the Bats to find you before your heart gives out.
Word count: 3.1k
Warnings: Scarecrow attack, (kind of) graphic hallucinations (only a small allude to blood though)
Fun fact: As I wrote this, 'quiet' started to not look like a word anymore.
You rub at your eye, muttering below your breath. Wind has been whipping through the Gotham streets all day, drying out your contacts to the point of discomfort.
The next time you blink, one flips up. Cursing, you cup a hand over the affected eye and blink until the stupid contact rights itself. Digging around your purse, you find your suspicions to be true: after the last time you needed to use your emergency backup contacts, you forgot to replace them. The small bottle of contact solution is missing, lost to the abyss of the purse or somewhere else. All you know is that it’s not here.
The only alternative is your glasses, and those are always a last resort. With an outdated prescription, uncomfortably heavy bridge, and scratched lenses, they’re far from ideal.
It’s fine. You’ll splash some water on your face when you get to the cafe and blink a lot. They’re fine.
Your friend is already sitting by the time you get there, but hasn’t ordered their drink yet. You haven’t seen them for several months, though you used to see each other every day during undergrad. They’re only here for a work conference. They live in Metropolis now, and are wearing an ‘I SURVIVED MY VISIT TO METROPOLIS’ shirt to show it. A couple Gothamites around them are actively laughing into their hands at the sight of it. After all, compared to this city, really nothing is worse.
After the usual greeting, hug, and exclamations over how long it’s been, you say, “Sorry, but my contact’s actually killing me right now. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll watch your stuff,” they say cheerfully.
The bathroom’s about as good as someone could hope for in Gotham. The remains of scrubbed-away graffiti lingers on the wall around the mirror, and a paper towel with a suspicious red stain hangs over the edge of the trash can. Not quite the vibe this place is going for, judging by the painted ivy around the walls and the hanging plants, but oh well.
You blink, squeeze your eyes shut, rub them, and open them again. Much better.
There’s a drink in front of your friend by the time you make it back to the table they found, pushed in the back corner where things are a little quieter. “They have seasonal syrups,” they say, sipping the drink. “Though a lot of them are named after supervillains.”
You scoff and shrug off your coat. “Please. Clayface is hardly a supervillain. He’s just a washed-up actor.”
“That must be nice,” your friend says wistfully. “Did I tell you I had to replace my car last month?”
“No!”
“Yeah! Some alien dictator had beef with Superman. A lot of cars were thrown in that fight.”
“Ugh,” you say wistfully. “We had some good memories in that car.” They’d had it since undergrad.
“Gone but never forgotten,” they say, holding their cup up for cheers, and you both remember that you haven’t ordered anything yet.
Even though you’re on a bit of a caffeine ban—boyfriend’s orders—you order a coffee. One a day won’t hurt you, not when you were averaging at least four during the recent busy season. The pathology lab you work at always has a huge rush of biopsies ordered between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. Now that it’s a little into January, you’re not scrambling quite so much.
With your drink in hand, you head back to the table to keep catching up. Your friend started a new job with a much better boss than their old one. They’re thinking about proposing to their partner of five years. Their dog got into their family’s big holiday meal and they had to order last-minute Chinese takeout instead. And they can’t decide whether to cut their hair or keep growing it out.
Then it’s your turn. You’re four years into your job at the lab, kind of feeling like you want a change, but the generous Christmas bonus is making you think twice. Your apartment is okay but not nice. Your cat is healthy and happy and extremely spoiled. Your family lives across the country, all with separate plans, so you stayed in Gotham for the (surprisingly uneventful) winter.
“What did you do for the holidays, then?” your friend asks, their drink long since finished. Judging by their eyes drifting back to the counter as you speak, they want another.
“My boyfriend’s family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas,” you say. “Nothing too fancy, of course, none of us are terribly religious. But it was nice to see each other on a regular basis for a week straight.” Jason would disagree, but only out of principle. “We’re all busy people.”
“And your boyfriend? Jason, right? How is he? What does he do for work, again?”
Here comes the hard part. No matter what happens in your personal life, you can’t talk to anyone about it unless they’re in the know. Keeping Gotham safe requires a fairly large system; you and several other scientists or similar professionals are able to contact the Bats through Leslie Thompkins, Lucius Fox, and Commissioner Gordon, but of that number, only a fraction know their identities.
Working overtime at the lab as a new hire, you were the only one Leslie could reach at midnight when Black Bat came in contact with a mysterious substance through an open wound. From midnight to eight a.m., you collected blood and skin samples with hands that shook under the scrutiny of Batman’s white-lensed gaze. Your treatment was a gamble but a success, and after that, the Bats started to come to you more and more. So many of their rogues use biowarfare, after all. Still, it took over a year for Black Bat and Spoiler to take off their masks around you. At that point, you’d only seen Red Hood once, when he brought Robin in and ordered you to never tell Batman that he’d done so. Months after that, he took off his helmet around you, but only because of a nasty cut on his neck, and the domino mask beneath it stayed on. You’d known each other for a year and a half before he spoke more than five curt words to you at a time. Analyzing a new street drug was the first time you two ever worked together, and it was fun. After that, he just kept coming back.
It took so long to gain their trust, and you won’t risk it. But there are so many secrets. How can you explain to anyone else that not only is your boyfriend related to Bruce Wayne—yes, the Bruce Wayne of Gotham, billionaire, CEO, activist, and philanthropist—but he is, in fact, the man’s very publicly dead son?
So you can tell people about your boyfriend named Jason. You can’t introduce him to anyone from outside Gotham; the jagged scar on his cheek and glowing green eyes tend to raise more questions than answers. You can mention that he has a large family. You can’t tell them who his family is. You can tell them that Jason works flexible hours, usually at night, so the two of you see each other often despite your busy schedules. You can’t tell them what Jason actually does for work.
“He runs a not-for-profit community service organization,” you lie, the words familiar and tasteless from how often you’ve had to say them. And he sort of does, but with a lot more violence and criminal cavorting than most other not-for-profits. “He’s really passionate about helping Gotham’s kids that come from low-income households.” The foster system reform laws passed last year were lobbied by Wayne Enterprises, but it was the Red Hood showing up in politician’s houses in the dead of night that really sped up the process.
“I talked to Avery the other day,” your friend says. “They’re convinced you’re making him up.”
You sigh. Avery is another friend from college. You two were in the same friend group for years, but were never particularly close outside of it. “We don’t like to take pictures together, okay?”
Your friend eyes you with a faint air of dissatisfaction. “Well, if you say so. I was actually hoping to meet him while I’m here.”
You try not to let it show how your heart leaps into your throat at the thought. Around the lump, you say, “I’m sure he’d love to, but he’ll be stuck all day at the office.” Lie. He’s at home right now, baking muffins and wearing an apron with the words ‘Kiss the Cook.’ Damian and Tim scribbled over the two ‘S’s with Sharpie to make it ‘KiLL the Cook,’ but the sentiment is still there.
“Right,” they say slowly.
The meetup doesn’t last long after that. At the end of it, you hug and promise to meet up more often, even though it’s unlikely. With a wave, they head off for their conference, and you’re almost out the door when you blink wrong and—
Half the world goes blurry.
You feel the contact fall down your cheek and onto the ground.
“Goddamnit,” you hiss under your breath.
Glasses it is.
You’ve been wearing contacts for so long that you can take out the other one without breaking stride. The wind hasn’t let up in the slightest, and it makes your nose run.
Sniffling slightly, shoulders hunched against the chill, you don’t see the pumpkin until it’s too late.
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They’re after you.
It’s not safe, not for you, not for anyone, they want you, they’re grabbing you, hands on your shoulder, people screaming—screaming at you—for you to stop—no—for—for something to stop?
Something is wrong. Dimly, in the back of your mind, you know something is wrong, but your hands are shaking and your bag is ripping, someone is clawing at you, screaming, desperate, they want you to fall back so they’re safe (from what?) and someone else shoves you and you go spinning out, bag in one direction and you in the other and—
They’re changing, the person clawing at you, turning into a monster, and you scream.
They’re after you
(who is after you)
They want to hurt you
(why)
(what is going on)
And you can’t see, something is wrong, you hear glass crunch and then the whole world goes out of focus.
You can’t see.
They’ll get you if you can’t see, and now you can see them, the dark shapes rising from the shadows, claws out and maws gaping, hungry, hungry, hungry for you and your marrow and your heart and they’re going to get you—
You run.
You trip over something (or someone; something like a bone crunches) and your heel slides and your hands catch you but not really, chin clipping the ground so hard your teeth click, and your hands burn, and your chin aches, but they’re still behind you, behind and getting closer—
You run.
You run and they get closer and you see the corner of something dark and blurry, and maybe it’s another monster or maybe it’s a building, and you skid to a stop and throw yourself behind it.
It’s not a monster. It smells awful—a dumpster—and the ground is wet, you hope from rain, but maybe it’s blood
(you’re sitting in a pool of it)
(you’ll be covered)
(the monsters will smell the blood and come running and they’ll hear you shuffling, they’ll hear you panting, they’ll hear your heart pounding, pounding, pounding—)
You scramble to the farthest corner between the brick building’s corner and the dumpster—maybe their clawed arms will be too short to reach you—and hide your face in your hands—you need to stop breathing so loudly—you need to be quiet, quiet, quiet—
People continue to scream. The city, the city Jason and his family try so hard to protect, everyone is dying and you’re going to die and maybe they’ll die, too, or maybe they’ll survive, and maybe they’ll find your dead body and that would ruin Jason, or maybe they won’t and you’ll rot behind the dumpster, smelling just as bad as the trash inside it—
Quiet quiet quiet.
You can’t stop shaking, your teeth won’t stop rattling, and you have to be quiet quiet quiet.
But your heart keeps pounding, faster and faster. It hasn’t slowed down since the monsters came, it’s only getting louder and faster.
Dimly you think you might be having a heart attack.
Everything gets a thousand times worse when one of the monsters shouts your name.
How do they know your name?
Footsteps on the pavement and people have stopped screaming.
Dead, you think. And you’ll be next if you’re not quiet quiet quiet.
The monster shouts your name again. It’s louder—they’re closer. You curl into a tighter ball. They can’t find you.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Your chest hurts; your heart wants to jump out of it.
Jason, you think wildly. Jason will save you. If Jason finds you, he’ll keep you safe. Your hands fish at your side, but find empty air: your purse is gone. There’s no way to reach him, and he can’t even track your location through your phone.
The monster shouts your name again. It has a deep voice.
Another voice joins it, deeper, pitched lower. You can’t quite make out the words.
“They’re around here,” the first monster insists. “B, we don’t have long, this strain is strong—”
“They’re strong,” says the second monster. “Their heart can handle it.”
Something thumps and a third monster says, “Everyone else is clear. Signal had to take two people to the hospital, but they’ll be fine, don’t look so upset, B.”
“You have the antitoxin?” the first monster demands.
“Relax, Hood,” drawls the third monster. “‘Course I do. So you tracked them here?”
“Yeah, I just—” Again it shouts your name. It sounds almost upset. “Please, it’s me, I can help you. Come on. You’re safe. You inhaled fear toxin, I know you’re terrified, but it’s me. You know me.”
It’s trying to lure you in. You won’t fall for it.
You squeeze your eyes shut and hold your breath. Let them move on. Let them search somewhere—
“There you are.”
A hulking figure is blocking the light.
The monsters found you.
“Stop it!” you yell, trying to sound brave. “Leave me alone or—or you’ll regret it!”
“Please,” it wheedles, “I’m just trying to help you. Don’t you recognize me?” It reaches out with clawed hands and you kick frantically, but there’s nowhere else for you to go.
“Hey, aren’t these their glasses?” asks the third monster. “What happened to their contacts?”
“Don’t come any closer! The Red Hood will get you, I know him, if you hurt me he’ll kill you! Stop it!”
“I’m really sorry about this, honey,” the monster says, and its clawed hand latches around your ankle and you howl. The sharp points dig deep through skin into muscle and sinew, and it hurts and you’re going to die—
“Jason!” you shriek. “Jason, help me!”
“I’m right here,” the monster lies. “Please, I’m right here, look at me—”
You won’t. You won’t do it. You can’t watch while it kills you. “Jason, please!” you bawl again, but it’s too late. The monsters have you, you’re surrounded, he’ll never forgive himself but what could he even do against them—
Sharp teeth dig into your neck.
You’re dead.
“There we go, darling,” the monster says. Strong arms wrap around you—it wants to crush you to death—and you struggle, but there’s no use.
Except—
You can hear now, kind of, the rush of blood in your ears is receding a bit, and something heavy lands on your nose. This time, when you blink your eyes open, the world’s edges have sharpened. And the monster in front of you—
Well, you recognize the dark hair with a shock of white, and the brilliantly green eyes would be visible if not for the white-lensed domino mask, and the jagged scar on his cheek.
“Jay?” you murmur, hand coming up to touch it. He doesn’t flinch away. It took so long for him to stop flinching when you touch his face. Over his shoulder, you see Batman and Spoiler watching with satisfaction and slight worry. “What happened?”
“Scarecrow,” he says grimly. “He gassed the street, but only about twenty people were affected. I was patrolling nearby, and when I saw your purse on the ground—” He grimaces, then fixes you with a hard look. His two hands can span most of your head, and he takes it to press a firm kiss to your forehead. When he pulls back slightly, without looking away, “I want their heart checked.”
“The antitoxin—” Batman starts.
“I don’t care,” Jason snarls.
Your hands loosely hold his forearms, still shaking a little. “How’d you find me?”
“I tracked you,” he says softly.
“But my phone—”
“Honey,” he says gently, “of course that’s not the only one.”
Well. You should have guessed that, honestly.
“I’ll go check on the victims,” Batman says suddenly. “Come on, Spoiler.”
“Glad to see you’re okay,” Spoiler says to you, then dashes after Batman. In a whirl of capes, they’re gone.
“I’m so sorry,” Jason says in a rush.
“Jay—”
“I should have protected you,” he grits out, white lenses turning to slits as he squeezes his eyes shut. “This should never have happened—”
“You couldn’t have known,” you say softly, letting go of his arms and wiggling beneath them to wrap yours around his torso. Your nose wedges against his chest kind of uncomfortably, but now you can smell him, the familiar gunpowder and a little bit of sour sweat, and the faint tremble in his bones that mirrors the one in your hands. He clutches you close, head buried in the crook of your neck.
He croaks, “I’m so sorry, so sorry, so—”
“You saved me,” you mumble into his armor. “I knew you would.”
“I almost didn’t.”
“Jay.” You pull back to look at him seriously. “Even when I couldn’t think straight, I knew you would come. I’ll always know that, no matter what toxin’s messing with my head.”
Judging by the twist of his mouth, he doesn’t quite believe that. He’ll beat himself up internally for days, you know.
But you also know that while Bruce runs his tests in the Cave to make sure there’s no more toxin in your system, he’ll hold your hand the whole time. You know he’ll hold you tight in the bed you share tonight. You know, as long as Jason lives and breathes, he’ll always protect you.
“I love you,” he says thickly. “So much.”
“I love you too.”
“Let’s get you checked out.” He helps you up and holds you close and you know that you’ll be okay.
Jason’s here, so you’ll be okay.
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@evalynanne @mismatchsposts @cliosunshine @fictionalwhor3 @bellathecatastrophe
Let me know if there's anything you want to see from me. Inspiration strikes at odd intervals, and I get lonely.
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gay-dorito-dust · 6 months ago
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Hiiii. I hope you are well. I would like to request Cregan Stark x female!reader where reader is sleeping in her chambers and has a nightmare and walks the halls late at night going to Cregan’s chambers for comfort but is also hesitant because the two haven’t really spent time together since they were put into an arranged marriage. She stands in front of his bedroom door while trying to decide if she should knock or not but before she could Cregan opens the door after hearing movement. He spends the night trying to make her feel safe. Thank you 😊
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I’m rusty and out of practice after not writing for hotd for so long but I hope this makes up for it 🦦🐿️
You couldn’t go back to sleep, the nightmare had awoken you so suddenly and violently that the idea of falling back to sleep disturbed you greatly, so instead you took to walking the foreign halls of your new home in Winterfell.
In truth it took some time for you to get accustomed to the change in climate, that and the change from your old rather relaxed and light attire to thick furs and multiple layers to keep warm, but you were reassured by your parents that you’d sooner or later come to love the endless landscapes of snow with your arrange marriage to Lord Cregan Stark.
Now Cregan Stark had been nothing but considerate and generous towards you, a honourable man amongst immature little boys as your father would put it, and his words have never been more true as house Stark was well known for their loyalty and their dedication to their duty. However it was due to Cregan’s commitment to his duty that left you with little to no time to get to know the man who had already garnered quite the reputation for himself. You did not blame the man for doing so, it was admirable to see a man do whatever it took to protect his home compared to those who dared called themselves men back home; the very same ‘men’ who’d abandon their wives and children for a silver of something…younger and more beautiful.
And yet you found yourself coming out of a self induced daze and stood outside of Cregan’s own personal chambers, almost as if your body had stopped it’s ceaseless wandering and brought you to the one person who could bring you comfort on its own accord, but yet you failed to find the strength to even lift a hand to knock on the heavy door as new thoughts of whether you’d be interrupting or annoying him with your presence; This was the only time where you wished you spent more time getting to know Cregan as you didn’t know the type of man he’d be when you needed him for moments such as these, moments where you’d be frightened and out of your mind with increasing worry, even over the smallest of things.
Would you be a burden to him? Too much for him? Would your actions tonight alone would bring about the end of the arrangement? All these answers so much more ran rampant within your head as you began to second guess whether or not this was your smartest of decisions, going and seeking comfort from a man you knew far too little about on a personal level over something as simple as a nightmare, you’ve contemplated this for quite a while to the point you felt stupid and childish that you didn’t notice the noise you had made already brought Cregan out of his slumber.
‘Are you alright m’lady?’ Cregan asks upon noticing how conflicted you looked as you shifted your weight on your feet and fiddling with your hands.
‘My lord,’ you gasped, ‘what’s you doing up at such time as this?’
Cregan tilted his head. ‘Well I heard shuffling outside my door and I came to see what it was, only to find you in deep thought.’ He then reached out to grasp your hand in his securely as his eyes softened. ‘Is there something the matter? Something wrong?’ He then asks in a whisper. ‘Anything I can do to help my betrothed rest easier?’
You tried to smile as authentically as you could in hopes of dissuading Cregan from going out of his way for you and let out a laugh. ‘There’s no need, I just…needed some air and familiarise my new home.’ You told him but it was obvious that he wasn’t buying it as Cregan looked down the hallway before pulling you into his chambers and closing the door behind him. ‘Now that there is no possibility for anyone to intrude, would you like to tell me what’s bothering you m’lady?’
‘I-‘ you tried to speak but found yourself falling short of an easily believable answer, especially not when his eyes seemingly read you like an open book.
‘There is no need to keep up appearances, not with me,’ Cregan says as he gently guides you to a nearby chair, still holding your hand, as though deep down he knew that you needed to be in some form of constant contact with him to bring yourself back to reality. ‘Now tell me what’s gotten you so distraught?’ He knew something was wrong but didn’t know how to handle the situation without you telling him what it was that was disturbing you. Now Cregan understood that you might not be on that level of comfortability with him just yet to open up about your innermost thoughts and feelings, he can just hope that him being here with you was proof enough to show that he deeply cared for your well-being, and that with time you’ll come to him freely and without fear that he’d cast you and your heart aside.
You didn’t say anything at first, still having your concerns on how he’d react once you tell him, but the other side of your mind was telling you to take this an an opportunity to make up for the lack of time to get to know each other, so you opened your mouth and the words that you’ve been trying to put a stop poured out seamlessly. ‘I had a nightmare and I thought that a walk would help but it seems as though at the thought of you, my feet brought me to your chambers on their own accord.’
Cregan smiled softly as he squeezed your hand, running his thumb across it. ‘Is that so m’ lady? You thought of me in your moment of need?’
‘Of course,’ you tell him, finally squeezing his hand back, feeling yourself growing more confident and secure within his presence, ‘It was as though deep down I knew you’d never scoff at my worries, and instead bring me comfort as though it were instinct, but my mind tried to trick me into believing that you wouldn’t and I would’ve believed them had you not answer the door when you did.’ You admitted and felt a weight come off of your shoulders, allowing you to fully relax within Cregan’s presence that felt akin to the comforting weight of furs being draped over your shoulders, comforting, warm and grounding.
‘And I never would scoff at your worries because your worries are my worries m’lady.’ Cregan tells you as he knelt before you, resting his free hand against your cheek, watching as you melted into his touch, sighing in content. ‘Now tell me how I can be of help to you be rid of this pain?’ He then asks softly as though speaking any louder would somehow offend you.
‘Pardon me if this seems too forward my lord but,’ you paused to take in Cregan’s handsome features before looking down at your intertwined hands, this was the union that your parents wanted for you and now that you were here with him, you didn’t want to leave for your lonely chambers, ‘would you allow for me to stay here for the night, held in your arms until the nightmare is a memory long forgotten.’ You finished, looking into his eyes as they gleamed with happiness and love.
‘Only if you are comfortable with that m’lady.’ Cregan said and you couldn’t help but chuckle as his thoughtfulness towards you, the same thoughtfulness that suggested sleeping in separate rooms until you felt comfortable enough to share a room with him.
‘Of course I do,’ you tell him with a real genuine smile, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his as you squeezed his hand, ‘I wouldn’t have suggest it if I didn’t.’ You added and without hesitation Cregan brought you into his strong arms as he carried you off towards his bed, laying you down gently as he join you before pull in you back into his arms again, softly guiding your head into resting against his chest.
Cregan turned out to be a lot warmer than you had originally expected but you couldn’t help but snuggle further against him, making him smile and press a featherlight kiss to your head as he tightened his hold on you. ‘I promise to keep your nightmares at bay as you deserve only the sweetest and kindest of dreams to greet you at the end of every day.’ He promises to you as he pressed another kiss to your head, making you smile widely as you couldn’t help but feel as though you were already living within a dream with how impossibly perfect Cregan was.
‘I feel as though I am in one already my lord.’ You tell him sleepily.
‘Then I shall try my best to make you keep thinking that m’lady.’ Cregan replied as you soon feel asleep against the man who had quickly claimed your heart.
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calicoups · 1 year ago
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౨ৎ sweater — csc
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synopsis when missing seungcheol turns into you wearing his sweater and socks. pairing seungcheol x fem reader genre fluff word count 1.3k hani’s note cheol calls reader baby, sweetheart and doll. this idea literally just came into my brain because of me taking a sweater out of my wardrobe…inspo by this reel btw hehe!
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his sweaters smell like him. like fresh laundry but also a strong masculine scent. it’s comforting, as if seungcheol is all around you. whenever seungcheol isn’t around, you wear his clothes — whether that be his silly looking socks with characters on them, his shirts or his sweaters — and in a sense, they’re grounding, warm and not to mention so cosy. which is why you lay in bed with his sweater. but now your feet are cold. so, you get out of bed for the top drawer, bracing yourself for the cold biting at your feet and face. at the sight of a folded pair of shark print crew socks (seungcheol’s favourite), you jump back in bed and pull the socks on.
a cold draft sneaks in from somewhere and into the bedroom where you’re laying. every few minutes, you’re wiggling around in the blankets you’ve wrapped yourself in, trying to gain as much heat as possible. that draft is beginning to provoke agitation in you and you wonder if you even closed all the windows.
there is no way you’re going to get up (again) to check in this cold, though. you had switched the radiators on, surely you’ve closed all windows and you had closed the doors to rooms that weren’t in use. this was all in an attempt to keep the heat in because you were starting to freeze.
the clock reads 10:18 PM, seungcheol isn’t home yet. he had shouted a quick ‘don’t wait up, sweetheart!’ before he had left in the morning and yes, you weren’t going to wait for him at first but god, you miss him so bad right now. you don’t think you could fall asleep without seeing him first.
reaching out of the blanket for the remote, you decide that the best thing to pass the time with is to watch something. so, you switch on the tv and flick through before settling on whatever seems interesting enough to hold your attention until seungcheol arrives home.
multiple yawns had left your mouth by 11:06 PM, seungcheol was still not home. you begin to doze off after a few minutes, eyes fluttering closed every few seconds before you open them wide and squeeze them to stay awake.
a key turns in the lock, it reaches your ears and has you alert. seungcheol’s keys jangle and you know that the jangling sound is the little batgirl keychain colliding with the wall as seungcheol plugs the guitar key into the wall mounted key holder (your keys held a batman keychain — seungcheol had bought these for you both, opting to have each other’s characters).
as seungcheol sets his coat in the closet near the front door and his shoes on the wooden shoe rack, he turns around and almost goes to slump onto the couch when he catches you staring at him through the open bedroom door.
seungcheol tilts his head a little and smiles at you, “i thought i had told you not to wait up, sweetheart.”
“i know but i wanted to wait for you.” you watch as he walks out of eyesight and hear the tap run, a glass filling up with water. seungcheol walks into the room as he takes a sip from the glass and then takes a seat on the edge of the bed next to you, the glass hanging from his fingertips where his forearm rested on his thigh.
“you missed me? oh, my baby,” he coos and lifts your hand to his lips and gives it a quick peck. he gulps down another sip of water and there is half left which he gestures for you to drink the rest, “all this waiting for me and i bet you haven’t even hydrated yourself, silly girl.”
you shake your head as the water runs down your throat, “not true, i am so hydrated!”
“really?” seungcheol’s lips twitch, trying not to smile as he notices your dry lips. his hand holds your jaw and his thumb is on your bottom lip, “why are your lips chapped, then?”
at this, your tongue darts out to lick at your lips, “what do you mean?”
seungcheol shakes his head, he reaches for the vanity table drawer and takes out a lip balm. its cherry flavoured, his favourite. you set down the glass on the bedside table.
his hand tilts your chin and applies the lip balm to your lips and oh, that concentrated look on his beautiful face. lips parted, eyes shining and focused on your lips, trying so hard to not get the balm anywhere other than your lips.
and when he’s done, he asks you to rub your lips to together so that the balm is spread evenly. he watches you intently as you follow his instructions.
seungcheol carefully moves your head around (at this point, you’re just letting him do whatever, it’s endearing to watch him do things like this) to check that the balm hadn’t smudged anywhere else then he lets go, “there, all done! now, make sure you drink a lot of water if you don’t want chapped lips, okay?”
you nod your head slowly as a response and he gets up to put the lip balm away. seungcheol turns around and squints at you, “are you wearing my sweater?”
“huh? yeah, it was getting cold and also, i missed you,” you explain, “wearing your socks too!”
he looks at the end of the bed where you stick out your feet from the blanket, “you can have all of my sweaters and socks if you look that adorable in them, doll.”
the nickname makes your heart skip a beat. doll. it sounds lovely coming from his pretty lips.
seungcheol smiles and you reach for his hands which he gives. you tug with all the strength you have to quickly press your lips to seungcheol’s, pulling back with an audible ‘mwah’ and you make sure that the lip balm he applied had transferred to his lips too.
seungcheol’s dimples form on both cheeks as he laughs with his gummy smile. full cheeks become rosy and seungcheol shrinks a little in his place. every time you pull your little ‘mwah’ trick, seungcheol gets so shy and you love it. you adore his shyness.
“you’re so silly,” seungcheol ruffles your hair, “i’ll go get changed, be right back,” he pinches your cheek and leaves the room.
when seungcheol re-enters the room, you immediately raise a corner of the blanket to invite him over. he climbs onto the bed, except not next to you. seungcheol hovers over you then lowers himself down onto your chest, his legs between yours and his arms going under yours to hug you.
your heart melts at the sight of his head on your chest, being able to feel his chest rising and falling against your own and his hair tickling the base of your neck which you run your hand through, giving him a slight massage. reaching for the blanket you threw to the side, you pull it over both your bodies to stay warm.
“good day at work, cherry?”
seungcheol’s chest vibrates as he hums, “yeah, and jeonghan dragged me to dinner and he paid, can you believe that? i mean, he always ‘forgets’ his wallet at home!”
seungcheol’s after work stories never fail to make you giggle. it’s the way he tells them with big eyes and even acts them out sometimes.
after the laughter stops from both of you, seungcheol speaks up again, “but i’m tired after that. i would have been home earlier to cuddle with you but jeonghan…” he laughs again, “he wouldn’t let me go! now, i just wanna lay like this with you.”
“yeah? i got you, i’m right here,” you rub his back under the blanket and seungcheol moves his head to kiss your collarbone.
a few minutes later, you’re positive that seungcheol has fallen asleep with the way he becomes heavier and heavier the deeper he sleeps — you feel like your hugging an actual bear — so you give him a quick kiss to his forehead and hold him closer to you before dozing off just after him.
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number1escfan · 6 months ago
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Waited so long
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Summary: reader is participating in Eurovision!! Btw It’s basically just the start of the story
Warnings:make outs, hickeys, angst if you squint hard enough
A/n: im obsessed with making out so I will probably write more fics Abt it btw most of this is background so Ya🤗
Masterlist
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Translation: liefde = love, schatje = sweetheart, schat = darling, honing = honey, Maak je je zorgen over de zuigzoen = Are you worried about the hickey? | Some of the translations are in the story!!
Since Eurovision started you and joost haven’t been able to talk to each other as much whether it’s at the hotel or a pre party, You can only talk for like 10 minutes before a interviewer comes up to talk to joost
You usually don’t get as much interviewer’s but It still fills you with rage whenever they take him away from you. Joost notices this and comes up with a plan to meet up, Now luckily the ebu paired you up with joost to share a room
But they didn’t know that you were dating yet. Joost knew you craved him for so long. liefde? Ben je daar?(love? Are you there?) he said while looking around your shared hotel room. Surprise!! You said popping up behind him in a cami top
I’ve missed you so much joos- he smashed his lips into yours groaning at the sweet taste of your lips
I missed you too liefde, come on let’s go to the bed he says dragging your arm to the hotel bed followed by him getting undressed from his Eurovision costume you commented about how long was he planning this ‘since we stopped talking for a few days.’
Wow, clingy? You giggled, you now shifted a little so now you’re on joosts thigh he was in a cami top with a pair of shorts on
Your lips were on his neck like a magnet, you couldn’t let go of the scent of his cologne your hand was messing up the back of his hair but nothing else mattered in the moment it was just you and him alone in your guys hotel bed.
"Mmm, Schat? Are you with me? You seem to be getting out of control" he snickers in a raspy voice, "Um yeah I’m fine I just missed you for a long time joost" you say in between breaths, I’ve missed you too schat.
After a while joost decided that he wanted to give you a few, but he didn’t even say anything he just went for it. I- Joost what are you doing? Just wanted to give you a few liefde, you seem a little tense. Mhm you hum relaxing you muscles a bit
Mmm he groans hypnotized by the sweet taste of your skin, you gasp as he nibbles on your skin taking your breath away.
He decided that it was late enough and that the both of you should get some rest, when you woke up you felt someone on your chest, it was obviously joost and he never looked so much more happier in his sleep than before
You put your hand on his cheek smiling at his face taking a few photos, after a while he woke up and put his hand on top of yours. "goede morgen schat" His voice was raspy and tired "goede morgen honing" you gave him a kiss on the lips , after both of you showered and did your skincare+makeup for the pre party you decided to wear a cute maxi dress and joost wore a suit with his Europe tie and his glasses.
When you guys arrived you were getting  surrounded by interviewers but of course they took joost away once again, but you were getting a lot more than you usually get.
“So y/n I see there has been some rumors about you and Joost, are any of them true?” You were in shock mentally but physically stayed still, “um so me and joost we’re actually um together right now and we have been for a while but what makes you say that?”
“Well you and joost have a little something on your neck” they said in confusion, oh shit you mumbled slapping your hand onto your neck to cover up the hickey trying to look for Joost in the crowd
“Nonono it’s a natural thing y/n nothing to be ashamed of!” "I- um.. alright" you just gave up at this point it’s not like other artists here haven’t dated other artists here, right?
After they were done you decided to lean on the rail because all the seats were taken and wait for joost
As you were scrolling on your phone looking at some pictures of you and joost he comes up to you with two drinks for you and him
geobsedeerd zie ik?(obsessed I see?)
Shut up!
you flustered while trying to turning off your phone
"do they know? you ask in a more serious tone"
"know what liefde?"
"That we’re dating."
"Of course they do y/n, do you not want them to?"
"Yes yes! I definitely want them to know" you reassured joost rubbing the hickey he left last night
"Maak je je zorgen over de zuigzoen?" He says chewing on some ice
"No? Yes?I just don’t know how you don’t get nervous"
"I always think of you schatje.. how you’re so beautiful and loving.. Always forgiving people no matter what" he gives you a kiss on your head rubbing the back of your neck
Hugging him tightly everything and everyone goes muffled nothing mattered in the moment it was just you and and Joost together it’s like you’re safe whenever you were with him always remembering that if you needed him he’ll most definitely will be there for you no matter what.
While driving back to the hotel you were on your phone scrolling through some fan edits of you and Joost but you found a new picture from today while talking to joost there was one when he gave you a peck on your forehead and when you were hugging him, you’d let joost find them on his own you thought turning off your phone and leaning onto his shoulder.
—————————
Im proud of this one anyways i forgot to feed y’all so here😼
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mcdonaldsplayground · 2 years ago
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| best friend's brother |
aged up ao’nung x f!reader
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summary: ao'nung has always just been your best friend's annoying older brother. at least that's what you tell yourself. but lately he's been moody and far more interested in your love life than he should be. when you discover that he's been playing a role in your failed courtships, you decide to confront him about it.
includes: fluff, swearing, teasing, possessiveness, ao'nung being oblivious🙄
word count: 6.5k
a/n: i am so sorry it took me foreverrrr to write this😵‍💫 it's not great, but it's all i got right now. i have a break from school coming up so hopefully i can catch up on some other fics i've been working on but we will see whether or not i can get over this serious writer's block🥲
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“Reya! Reya!” You called, waving your arms erratically as you jogged over, a wide grin decorating your face. Your best friend was standing ankle-deep in the water along with a few of your other friends and the Sully kids. They turned in attention as you splashed toward them, eyebrows raised in amusement.
“[Y/N]! What is it?” Tsireya asked, a matching grin spreading on her face when she noticed your excitement. “Just give me a second, Lo’ak.” She briefly turned her attention back to the Omaticaya boy, indicating that she would return to their conversation later. He flushed slightly, nodding before you grabbed Tsireya’s hand and pulled her to the side. Everyone appeared to go back to their conversation, though you suspected they were going to listen in anyway. You didn’t seem to care.
“Reya!” You squealed, almost unable to get the news out, just smiling and giggling while Tsireya laughed. “You’ll never guess what just happened!”
“Tell me already!” She pleaded, grasping your shoulders as if to ground you.
“Atey’ete just asked me to go out riding with him tomorrow!” It came out in one big breath, your enthusiasm obvious in your tone.
“Oh! That’s great news!” She gasped, bouncing a little. She knew how much this meant to you, considering your history. He was the first guy who’d ever actually approached you with anything more than the intention of friendship, and it felt like your heart was going to explode. While many Metkayina males had shown initial interest in the past, they always seemed to move on quickly, some going as far as to completely avoid you afterward.
“Yes! I can’t believe it!” You laughed, doing a silly little dance that made you and Tsireya burst out laughing. However, the reality of the situation had begun to sink in. Your smile faltered. “I’m kind of nervous, Reya.” You bit your lip, suddenly thinking about how inexperienced you were in this area. Tsireya put her hand on your arm.
“What for?” Her eyes were reassuring, and you softened a little. “It’s obvious that he likes you, [Y/N]. He’s been staring at you with hearts for eyes for weeks now!”
“No way!” You let out a breathy laugh, blushing deeply.
“I agree. There’s no way that’s true.” Tsireya’s older brother, Ao’nung, suddenly inserted himself in your conversation, moving to stand closer to you with that perpetual smirk of his. “Atey’ete is a warrior. He’s looking for a potential mate, not a stupid fling.” His words made your heart sink in your chest, your excitement ebbing away.
“Ao’nung!” Tsireya chastised, glaring daggers at the boy. “Just because you haven’t found a mate yet doesn’t mean you need to take out your frustration on [Y/N]!” She hissed. Though it was brief, you could have sworn you saw a pointed look pass between the siblings, indicating Tsireya’s words were about more than just Ao’nung teasing you. You shrugged it off as something that didn’t involve you.
“Just saying.” Ao’nung shrugged, putting his hands up in surrender; ever the cool and unbothered warrior. Eywa forbid anyone see him display an emotion other than that smooth self-confidence. It made you roll your eyes, but you were used to it. Growing up as Tsireya’s best friend just happened to come with the added factor of dealing with her brother. As a kid, he had simply been an annoyance, someone who found joy in pestering you and his sister. But growing up, and specifically completing his Iknimaya, had changed him. It was like he stopped having a personality in favour of being what you and Tsireya secretly called 'King Ao’nung' because everyone seemed to fall at the feet of the future Olo’eyktan despite his bad attitude.
“Why don’t you just go stare at your muscles in the reflection of the water?” You quipped, trying your best to seem nonchalant about the conversation. You liked how much it seemed to get under his skin when you acted like you didn’t care.
“Whatever.” He scoffed, turning to stalk back over to Rotxo and Lo’ak. You sighed, turning your gaze back to your friend. “King Ao’nung strikes again.” The two of you burst out laughing for a second time, and it was easy to feel at least a little better.
“Why don’t we go back to my marui?” Tsireya suggested. “Dinner will be soon anyway, and we can talk more about your date without my pest of a brother interrupting.” She said the last part loudly, shooting a hard look over her shoulder at the tall Metkayina. He just narrowed his eyes, holding his stare even as the two of you began to walk away. You could feel his eyes practically boring through your back. It made your stomach flip.
“What’s his problem?” You muttered when you were out of ear shot, briefly looking back once more to try and decipher why on earth Ao’nung still looked so agitated. Beside you, Tsireya nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. She only did that when she had a secret, which intrigued you.
“He’s just grouchy because he hasn’t found a mate yet and our parents keep asking about it. I think it’s stressing him out.” She explained. You frowned, eyebrows furrowing.
“Fine, but he could seriously have anyone he wants. Even without his status in the clan, pretty much everyone is drooling over him. It’s gross.” You said, making a face. For some reason a knot formed in your stomach when you thought about the way some girls fawned over him. You quickly tried to forget about the feeling.
“Yes… But my parents keep suggesting potential mates and trying to set things up for him, which he doesn’t like. He has someone in mind already, but he’s convinced she doesn’t like him.” She confessed, looking around as if someone might be listening. Your face felt hot suddenly, but you didn’t understand why.
“Who is it?”
“I promised I wouldn’t tell.”
“Oh come on, Reya! It’s not like I have anyone else to tell anyway! I’ll keep my mouth shut, I promise.” You pleaded, feeling an involuntary urge to get the information out of her.
“I’m sorry- I can’t say. It’s a really sore subject for him and he’d kill me if anyone else knew.” Your best friend looked genuinely apologetic, and your heart sunk. It wasn’t like her to keep anything from you- even big secrets- but you decided not to pry. The thought of Ao’nung finding out and getting mad at Tsireya was not something you wanted to be the cause of. Still, you found yourself aching to know who he had his eye on. In all the time you had been around him, he’d never shown much romantic interest in anyone, so the mystery seemed impossible to even attempt to figure out.
“So… Atey’ete, huh?” Tsireya changed the subject, nudging you with an elbow and a small grin. You allowed yourself to fall into the easy conversation concerning your crush, hoping it would help you stop thinking about your best friend’s stupid older brother.
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The next day seemed to drag on forever as your long-awaited date with Atey'ete approached. The two of you had agreed to meet on the beach a little bit before sunset, and though it was nearly dinner time, it felt like you still had years to wait.
"Ugh." You huffed quietly, fingers becoming tangled in one of the fishing nets you were helping Tsireya mend. You normally weren't too bad at weaving, but your nerves were getting the better of you. Tsireya giggled.
"Why don't we leave this for tomorrow and go get some dinner?" She suggested, offering you a sympathetic smile, though laughter danced in her eyes. You smiled back in spite of yourself, allowing a small laugh to escape your lips.
"Yes please." You wasted no time in dropping the half-fixed net and hastily cleaning up the area. Nothing was going to take your nervousness away, but Ronal's cooking had a particularly good effect on you even at the worst of times. You could have sworn you ate with Tsireya's family more often than your own.
As the two of you approached Tsireya's marui, you noticed Ao'nung leaning with his back against the outside wall, arms crossed and sporting his usual impassive expression. If you didn't know any better, you might have thought he was on the lookout for you and his sister.
"You know your friends aren't around, right? You can drop the whole 'I'm better than everyone else' act." You said, wanting to distract yourself from your flip-flopping stomach. Over the years you had learned that the best form of amusement came from riling Ao'nung up. When his ears flicked back in annoyance, you bit back a satisfied smirk. However, he was able to ignore the dig.
"Didn't think you'd be here tonight. Aren't you going to be late for a really lame date?" He asked coolly. Now it was your turn to be annoyed.
"Aren't you going to be late finding someone to be your mate? Oh wait..." You trailed off, pleased with such a quick and biting comeback. Something dark passed over his face before he narrowed his eyes.
"Very funny. Are you just bitter because he bailed on you?"
"We're not even doing anything until later, so keep dreaming." That was the best you could come up with as a slight inner panic seized you, amplifying your worry that Atey'ete would indeed bail on your date later. Similar occurrences in the past were enough reason to validate that, and Ao'nung knew it. In fact, most people seemed to know of your inability to be first choice. It stung, but you hurriedly swallowed the hurt, practiced in not thinking about it for too long.
"Grow up, brother." Tsireya finally said, shaking her head at him as you followed her past him and inside the marui. You heard him scoff behind you as he also ducked inside, the three of you taking your typical places among Ronal and Tonowari so you could eat together.
"What are the three of you bickering about this time?" Tonowari asked, an easy smile on his face.
Ao'nung was quick to answer. "I was just advising [Y/N] not to waste her time courting unworthy men." You and Tsireya rolled your eyes, holding in laughter. Ao'nung had a habit of talking himself up, especially to his father, and this time was no different. You didn't know how it was even possible to twist his snarky quips into something so dignified, but he always managed.
"Oh? And who is this unworthy man you are courting, [Y/N]?" Ronal gave you a knowing look, seeing through at least some of her son's thinly veiled attempt at saving face. You blushed deeply.
"Well, first, we definitely aren't courting," You started. "Atey'ete and I are just going out riding later."
"Oh! He's such a handsome boy!" Ronal exclaimed, nodding in approval.
"And an excellent young warrior." Tonowari chimed in, winking at you. You flushed again, fidgeting nervously with your fingers. Ronal continued to go on about your date, telling a story about some errand he had helped her with once, but it became difficult to pay her your full attention when you noticed the sour look that had settled on Ao'nung's face. In a matter of seconds, his self-assuredness had been replaced by intense irritation, his narrowed eyes downcast while he uncharacteristically picked over his food. You'd never seen him look so angry, and found yourself confused at how the topic of conversation had such an effect on him.
"Son?" Tonowari broke both of you out of your separate stupors, waiting patiently for Ao'nung to answer the clearly unheard question. The younger male carefully schooled his expression into something at least sort of neutral looking.
"Huh?"
"I was asking why you don't think Atey'ete would make a suitable mate for [Y/N]?"
Ao'nung suddenly choked on the bite of food he had just placed in his mouth, coughing as his eyed widened in shock. You were also rather shocked at Tonowari's question, though you hid it much better.
"M-mate?" Ao'nung finally managed, no longer coughing but still wearing the same stunned expression. "Don't you think it's a bit soon to be thinking about that? I mean, they probably haven't even talked to each other more than once!" His tone was laced with discontent.
"Well, you all are getting to an age where finding a mate is a priority. Even the beginnings of a courtship are to be taken seriously, Ao'nung." Ronal said patiently, though you could tell there was a double-meaning behind it, a bit more pressure to place on the shoulders of the eventual clan leader. You didn't think it was possible, but he looked even more annoyed than before.
"I know that. I was just saying I don't think they would be a good match." He grumbled. "I'm finished." He excused himself and quickly stood up before stalking outside. There was a tense moment of silence before Ronal spoke up.
"Please excuse him, [Y/N]. He has been having a hard time lately."
"Of course." You said politely, dipping your head down in understanding, though you were secretly perplexed and somewhat irked by his moodiness. You spent the rest of dinner no longer plagued by nervousness concerning Atey'ete, but rather entirely consumed by puzzling over Ao'nung and his strange behaviour.
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After dinner you received a brief pep talk from Tsireya and an encouraging hug from Ronal before you set off to meet with Atey'ete. However, you couldn't seem to shake the conversation that had come up earlier. Ao'nung's childishness was confounding, certainly, but as you rapidly approached the date you’d once been over the moon excited about, you couldn't help but think of what Ronal and Tonowari had said about courting. They claimed that at your age it was serious- like had the potential to become mates serious- and that scared you more than you would like to admit. You'd spent so long being rejected by your male peers that when Atey'ete had approached you with interest, his ultimate intention never even crossed your mind. Why shouldn't I still be excited? You thought, trying to think of any logical reason as to why you were suddenly doubting this. Atey'ete was kind and thoughtful, funny and handsome; not to mention a well-respected member of the clan. If he was interested in you, why would you jeopardize it without reason?
As you waged your internal war, you grew increasingly annoyed, particularly at the fact that you kept picturing Ao'nung's face in the middle of it all. The way his lips curled into a frown at dinner. The spark of fire behind his eyes when the two of you had been trading insults beforehand. You wanted to bash a rock into your head to stop thinking about him. It wasn't even relevant to your current predicament! Ao'nung just had an infuriating ability to take up residence on your mind. So you decided to stop thinking entirely, becoming laser-focused on getting to the meeting place and not letting your mind wander anymore.
At first you were able to tell yourself that you were just early. The sky had only just become tinted an orangey pink when you arrived on the smooth stretch of white sand, finding a stray rock to sit and wait on. You had agreed to meet around sunset. It wasn't like it was an exact time.
When that excuse became irrelevant, you came up with the idea that Atey'ete was just running a little late. The sun was sinking closer and closer to the horizon line, the sky beginning to twist into hues of purple and darker blue. He led a busy life. He'd probably been caught up hunting later than usual.
But when the stars finally blinked into existence and the last sliver of light disappeared under the gentle ocean waves, you began to cry. It wasn't voluntary, and you tried to stop, but your efforts were in vain and you eventually allowed yourself to just stare at the waves lapping on the sand as hot tears trailed silently down your cheeks.
What was it about you that was so undesirable? And why did guys feel the need not only to reject you, but to rub salt in the wound by giving you hope in the first place? Whatever string that was holding you together seemed to fall away, your heart bleeding out of your chest onto your hands and legs and into the sand. You felt massacred in all but physical body, and you vowed that this would be your last heartbreak. Even spending the rest of your days alone seemed a better fate than this.
"I told you he was going to bail." You jumped at the suddenness of the low voice behind you, but instantly clocked who it was. Hostility and rage bubbled underneath your skin as you whipped your head around, baring your teeth in a silent hiss.
"Fuck off, Ao'nung!" You barked, not missing the brief worry that crossed his features as he assessed your condition. "You're the last person I want to talk to right now!"
"Really? I thought Atey'ete would be up higher on that list." He quirked an eyebrow.
"Don't be all King Ao'nung right now. I'm not in the mood for that version of you." You snipped, staring hard at him. He knew of the nickname you and Tsireya had for him, but he seemed surprised to hear you say it directly to him. It was usually a funny little joke, but all you wanted to do was direct your hurt onto someone else, and he happened to be the perfect target.
"Alright," His expression softened into something you hadn't seen in a long time. Something like pity. Maybe even something like empathy. "I'll be nice Ao'nung, then." He tentatively sat down beside you, his leg just barely touching yours. You tried to ignore the buzzing feeling that ignited in your stomach at the near contact.
"I didn't know nice Ao'nung still existed." You scoffed, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them, resting your chin on top of them as you fixed your gaze on the dark ocean in front of you. He was still staring at you.
"Nobody wants a soft clan leader, [Y/N]."
"Being nice and being soft are two different things."
"Maybe."
"Do you really think that people won't respect you if you drop the walls you've built around yourself?"
"You don't know what it's like."
"No, I don't. But I do know what it's like to look up to you. To watch as you try to live up to your birthright." Your eyes flicked back to meet his, surprised by the vulnerability etched on his face. You hadn't realized how much you missed the boy you once knew. "I know it's not easy to be under so much pressure, but you don't have to change yourself to fit into some mold of the perfect little prince." You held each other's gaze in silence for a short time before a smile crept onto Ao'nung's lips.
"When did you become so wise?" He asked, nudging you gently.
"I've always been wise, skxawng. You just never cared to notice." You teased, still unsmiling but feeling slightly better. Something about this real version of him set you at ease. Something about him made you feel good, even if you wouldn’t admit it.
"I notice more about you than you think..." He mumbled, the words barely audible to you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, sure that you heard him wrong.
"What?"
"I asked how long you've looked up to me for." He lied, trying to divert the conversation back a bit, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. You studied him with narrowed eyes for a few seconds before deciding to let it go. You were actually kind of enjoying the deep conversation.
"Since always, I guess." You shrugged. "You may have been Tsireya's annoying older brother, but you also used to be thoughtful. And funny."
"I'm not funny anymore?"
"Don't push it." You said, eliciting a deep chuckle from Ao'nung. You smiled a bit in spite of yourself. "I just mean that you weren't going to become the Olo'eyktan one day just because of who your parents are. I always thought you were meant to be a great leader. Because of who you are. Because you care about everyone way more than you let on."
"Don't push it." He mimicked, this time making both of you laugh.
"Just stop being such a jerk, alright? Then maybe it won't be so hard to find a girl to like you." You grinned at him, ignoring the dull ache in your chest that your words incited. Ao'nung, however, quickly dropped his smile and fixed his gaze to the ground. It only lasted a few seconds before he changed the subject, but you felt stupid for calling him a jerk.
"Are you okay?" He asked, catching you off guard. You'd become so wrapped up in the current conversation that you forgot what originally brought you there in the first place.
"Oh- a-about the whole date thing?" You let out a breathy laugh, disappointed to be returning to such a sore subject. Thankfully it didn't hurt quite so bad anymore, though. "Yeah, no, definitely! I didn't actually care too much anyway so... It's, um, it's whatever." You internally cringed at your attempt to sound nonchalant. Ao'nung clearly wasn't buying it, but he didn't seem to want to push it.
"He's a douche anyway." Ao'nung said. "Trust me, you don't want to be going out with him."
"I guess..." You trailed off, biting your lip as you felt a sudden boldness take hold of you. You knew he was just trying to make you feel better, but you couldn't hold back on what you were truly wanting to know. "Look, you're a guy, do you know what's wrong with me?"
"What?"
"I mean, there has to be something seriously off-putting or undesirable about me. We both know this isn't the first time I've been stood up. I just want to know what it is about me." The words came out rushed as your grew embarrassed about voicing your deepest insecurities, and to Ao'nung, nonetheless. He looked a little pale as he stared at you, searching your eyes.
"You think there's something wrong with you?" He breathed, sounding more like he was asking a rhetorical question than a real one. He seemed to be rapidly working something out in his head.
"Well, yeah. I know I'm not exactly the prettiest or the most talented woman in the clan, but after a while you get the impression that something's off when everyone else is getting into successful relationships but you. Guys barely even look at me anymore." You admitted, still regretting the conversation topic but pushing through anyway.
"Oh, shit." Ao'nung whispered under his breath, suddenly standing. You couldn't read his expression anymore as it became more complex, not to mention confusing. You knew it was an awkward thing to talk about, but this reaction seemed a little extreme.
"Where are you going?" You called after him as he began to rush away in the direction of his marui, appalled that he was leaving so abruptly. His answer was too quick and quiet for you to make out, so you just sat in stunned silence for a moment, watching as he eventually disappeared from sight. "Okay. Nice chat." You said, pressing your lips together, unsure of what to do next. And for the umpteenth time that day, you found yourself focused on thoughts of your best friend's brother, trying to fit another seemingly impossible piece of the Ao'nung puzzle together.
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“[Y/N]!” Tsireya called upon catching sight of you. She quickly apologized to the group of friends she’d been standing with and took off toward you, catching up easily. You were on your way to mend some more fishing nets, and you didn’t slow down even as she fell into step with you. “Hey! Where have you been this morning? I couldn’t find you and I was about to force Lo’ak to start helping me search!” She laughed. Her easy joyfulness was infectious, but you had to settle for a small smile as the best you could do in response. You were still trying to work out your complex web of feelings from the night before, something you’d spent all morning avoiding everyone to do. You wanted to talk to her about it, but it felt impossible to lay out clearly.
“Sorry, Reya,” You apologized, offering her a sincere look. “I just needed some time on my own to think.”
“Oh… Things didn’t go as planned last night then?” She asked gently. You sighed, shaking your head before a breathy laugh escaped your lips.
“Definitely not. Unless you count being stood up again as a plan. Which I guess maybe I should have. It happens enough.”
“[Y/N]…”
“It’s okay, really, I’m used to it. Besides, your brother of all people came to the rescue.”
“W-what? Ao’nung was there?”
“Yes. I have no clue what he was doing out there, but we ended up talking for a while.” You explained, carefully examining her reaction. While she looked mostly surprised, there was something different, like worry, behind her eyes.
“What did you talk about?” Her response felt strangely eager, like she was looking for you to say something specific.
“Mostly him, actually. I finally had the guts to tell him off for acting like a jerk sometimes.” You started, briefly chuckling at the memory. “But then it got really weird. He was trying to make me feel better about Atey’ete, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking him what’s wrong with me… Y’know, because he’s a guy and I thought maybe he would know.”
“And? What did he say?”
“Nothing, really. He got really pale and started acting like he was in trouble or something. Just got up and left. Like I said, weird.”
“Oh.” Was all she said, her brows furrowed as if deep in thought.
“Yeah. And do you know what’s really crazy?” You went on, unable to stop yourself from expressing the thoughts you’d been obsessing over all morning. “What’s insane is that I got stood up again and all I’ve been thinking about since is your stupid brother, just trying to figure him out. And even worse? When I do think about Atey’ete, I feel... relieved,” You were full-on ranting now as Tsireya watched with wide eyes. “I’ve been trying all morning to understand it, but I’m just relieved that Atey’ete didn’t show up. And I haven’t been letting myself even consider it, but I think- I think it might be because of Ao’nung.” You finally said, almost shocked that you admitted it out loud. The two of you stopped walking as a charged silence filled the air.
“Ao’nung likes you too!” Tsireya suddenly blurted before quickly slapping her hand over her mouth in horror of the admittance. You froze, eyebrows shooting skyward as you felt the world around you come to a slow halt. The only thing you could manage to process was the slow blinking eyes of your best friend as she searched your face. “I shouldn’t have said that but it just came out.”
“What are you talking about?” You whispered in disbelief. She stared at you for a few more second before sighing, resigning herself to an explanation.
“I think it’s time you know, anyway.” She started. “Ao’nung’s the one who scares off any guy who shows interest in you. He used to claim it was because they weren’t good enough for you, but I finally got him to admit otherwise a few months ago. He likes you, [Y/N]. A lot. But he’s so dumb and won’t believe me when I tell him that you like him back-”
“Woah. I don’t think I would say that.” You interrupted, though a bloom of heat rushed to your face at the accusation. Tsireya just gave you a look, quirking one eyebrow.
“You may be able to hide it from yourself, but you can’t hide it from me.” She stated. “I hear the way you talk about him when you’re not on your guard. And I definitely don’t miss the way you stare at him when you think he’s not looking.”
The realization felt like a blow to the chest. She was right, after all. You had once acknowledged your crush on the boy before pushing it far down out of sight when you thought he could never see you that way. You figured you would always just be Tsireya’s annoying best friend in his eyes.
“Even if I do,” You reluctantly admitted. “That’s still crazy. He’s been scaring guys away instead of just asking me out?” You were just now processing the whole story, going back through every heartbreak and every time you thought something was wrong with you with the new knowledge that Ao’nung was behind it.
“Yeah, I know. I kept trying to tell him how badly it was going to blow up in his face, but he’s so stubborn.”
“Since when?” You changed the course of the conversation out of the blue, but Tsireya was quick to follow along with what you were asking.
“Since he completed his Iknimaya. But he’s been in love with you since we were kids, [Y/N]. He’s absolutely terrible at expressing it, clearly, but it’s true. I don’t think he’s ever even considered anyone else.”
Again, her words landed like a punch to the gut, though it mildly annoyed you that the feeling was less painful and more relieving, your stomach doing excited little flips at the thought of Ao’nung seeing you the same way you saw him. You had to work to reign in the giddiness racing through you. Ao’nung still had to face the consequences of being a total moron, after all.
“I’m going to talk to him.” You decided, looking to Tsireya to agree. She nodded her head.
"Good. I think he's just getting ready to go out hunting, so you'd better hurry." She gently pushed you in the direction of the reef. As you started to jog away she called, "Don't let him off easy, okay?" And a laugh escaped your lips.
"I definitely won't!" You assured her, though you knew it was going to be difficult considering the giddy excitement coursing through your veins.
Luckily, he was still on shore when the reef came into your view, looking to be repairing one of the fishing spears before he set off with the other hunters. You slowed to a walk as you approached, and he only looked up when you were mere feet away from where he sat in the sand. Your shadow fell over him and your crossed your arms as he looked up and met your eyes, doing your best to look at least a little mad.
"[Y/N], what are you-"
"Why did you scare Atey'ete into ditching me?" You questioned calmly, narrowing your eyes and shoving down a smirk as panic took over his features. The hunters who were in the vicinity went silent, turning their attention to you and Ao'nung. "Actually, I'd also like to know why you've done that to every guy whose ever been interested in me."
"W-what- How did you..." He trailed off, trying desperately to find the right words as he squirmed under your gaze. "Did Tsireya tell you that?" He seemed to finally come to his senses, looking around at all the amused eyes fixed on him. He quickly stood up and grabbed your hand, tugging you to a spot out of view of the others. The contact between your hands was like a spark of electricity, briefly making you forget why you were supposed to be mad at him. The momentary amnesia doubled when he stepped closer to you, staring urgently into your eyes.
"How did you find out?" He asked, bringing you back to reality as he let go of your hand. You shivered at the loss of contact.
"Doesn't matter. Just tell me why." You said quietly, not missing the way his expression shifted into one of chagrin. It almost made you laugh to see him looking so uncharacteristically sheepish, but you maintained your composure.
"I don't know." Was all he said, unable to meet your eyes anymore, kicking at the sand beneath his feet like a child. Your jaw tightened at his lame response. Now you really were annoyed with him.
"Okay, fine." You scoffed, turning to go. You weren't expecting him to be so guarded, and it hurt to know that he wasn't willing to admit his feelings for you even when you were so blatantly offering him the chance.
"Wait!" You felt his fingers wrap around your wrist, igniting that familiar spark of electricity again as he pulled you back before you could get too far. You turned to face him again, letting your disappointment show on your face. "I'm sorry," He sighed, shaking his head as if figuring out what to say next.
"Just forget about it, okay? You're clearly still too busy being King Ao'nung to take me seriously." You wanted to run away and hide for the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of your life. Tsireya seemed to have overstated his feelings for you, and it was hurting more with every passing second. The only thing still keeping you there was Ao'nung's gentle grip on your arm.
"I do take you seriously. And I want to talk to you- I just never know what to say."
"Well you could start with a genuine apology."
"I'm sorry," He stepped slightly closer, forcing you to tilt your chin up to meet his gaze. Your heart sped up. "I really am. And I know you have no reason to believe me because I've been acting like a jerk lately. And you have no reason to forgive me, either. It was really fucked up of me to do that- to threaten guys who were interested in you. I was always so jealous at how easily they got you to like them, and I wished you would look at me the way you looked at them, even just for a second. But I didn't want to hurt you, [Y/N]. I swear," A pained expression took over his face, and he shifted his grip on your hand so that your fingers were laced together. Warmth bled through his touch and set you at ease. "Last night was the first time I realized how badly it was affecting you. I always assumed you didn't care that much because you never showed it, but I realize now that was a stupid assumption. I was selfish, and I'm really, really sorry."
You stared into his blown pupils, not saying anything for a while as you processed his words. Since your original plan had been derailed, you had to work out what to do next.
"I wasn't mad when I got here." You said, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Ao'nung furrowed his eyebrows. "I mean, I was a little bit. I wasn't about to let you off for basically making me think I was unlovable for a while there." You smiled wider as Ao'nung cringed slightly. "But I wasn't mad because I was actually just relieved. Because for some Eywa forsaken reason I have this insane crush on you that I've been trying to get over for years, and even though I would never admit it, every time I got stood up I felt relieved that I wouldn't have to settle for someone I could never love." His eyes widened at your confession, and you wondered if he could hear how loudly your heart was beating.
"Oh Eywa, [Y/N], I'm so sorry that I made you think-"
"Are you seriously not taking your chance right now? I'm starting to doubt how much Tsireya told me you liked me..." You said, holding in a laugh as his eyes widened yet again. For a future Olo'eyktan, he was really dumb sometimes.
But all it took was that push from you and he was kissing you. Softly, at first, almost like he felt you were going to break, but when you fell into his body and wrapped your arms around his neck, he became more desperate, tugging gently at your bottom lip. His warm hands rested on your waist, pulling you flush against him. It could have been seconds or days before you pulled apart, panting and grinning like fools.
"Tsireya didn't exaggerate," He started, resting his forehead against yours as his thumbs caressed your sides. "I like you so, so much. I just never thought you'd feel the same. I always figured you just saw me as your best friend's older brother." He admitted and you chuckled.
"I thought you just saw me as your sister's best friend." This time the both of you laughed softly before he placed a quick kiss against your lips again.
"I see you." He whispered, and suddenly the world around you diminished, leaving only Ao'nung in front of you. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears and feel the slightly quickened heartbeat inside his chest, the points of contact between you like pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together.
"I see you." You finally said back, completely enraptured by the way he was staring at you, like you were the only person in the entire universe in that moment. You stood like that together for who knows how long, occasionally exchanging sweet kisses and blushing grins.
Finally, you decided to say something, "So how many guys did you have to threaten to stay away from me? Was it like, just a few, or are we talking about more of a whole line up?"
"Oh, please." He grinned, shaking his head as the two of you laughed.
"I'm just trying to make up for some lost self-esteem over the years, okay?" You chuckled, offering him a mischievous look.
"Alright, I get it. I probably deserve the guilt trip." He smiled, holding his hands up. "But I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to guys wanting you." He admitted, looking slightly annoyed at the thought. You gasped dramatically.
"So it was a whole line up! You must have been busy keeping them all away from me." You said proudly, earning an eye roll from him.
"Don't let it go to your head. Besides, it doesn't matter anyway."
"And why's that?"
"Because now you're mine." He hummed, suddenly using his loose grip on your waist to pull you closer and place his lips on yours once again. You smiled into the kiss. Maybe all that rejection was worth it after all.
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swarvey · 6 months ago
Text
paper rings | harvey x f!reader
summary -> you decide to have some fun at the luau; harvey learns what it means to be truly humbled. warnings -> none! wc -> 2740
a/n: whaaattt i am totally not sneeking in leah x haley as much as i possibly can. absolutely not. anyways, another fun chapter to write!! this man is a prime example of dumbstruck with love. someone help him.
ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7
paper rings masterlist
chapter six: gorgeous -> "you've ruined my life, by not being mine."
Harvey couldn’t decide whether he wanted to cry or rip his hair out as Shane and Elliott berated him in each ear, both taking a different approach to dismantling his pride.
“You mustn’t let the Flower Dance dwindle your fiery love, Doctor!” Elliott insisted, twisting his head to try and meet Harvey’s downcasted eyes. “True love entails hardships and obstacles!”
“Sure, but I bet he didn’t expect his obstacle to be a damn kid,” Shane added distastefully. “That guy is a living example of ‘peaked in high school.’” 
“It’s true, I didn’t expect such a choice from our dear farmer, but it was her choice nonetheless. We must work with the present.”
“How? You think buying him a gridball uniform will help?”
“Shane, please, be realistic. I was going to suggest we find out when and where their next excursion will occur, so the doctor can reveal himself and profess his love—”
“What the— are you hearing yourself? What the hell are you on? Newsflash, we’re not living in a bad rom-com, pal.
“Alright, both of you, enough!” Harvey intervened, face beet red. “Listen, I have been thinking about this enough on my own, I assure you, so can we please try and enjoy the Luau?”
Shane cocked a brow, huffing. “Really? You think you can enjoy it with this shit going on in front of you?” He nodded towards where you were standing. 
Harvey glanced over, unsurprised to see Alex by your side. Emily smiled and nodded in front of you, her sister on her phone and chewing a piece of gum. At that point in time, the scene in front of him had become a common one. 
Except, one detail threw him off.
A familiar laugh sounded through the air, though it wasn’t yours.
A small smile lingered on Maru’s face as she continued to listen to whatever story you were telling, her eyes intently on you.
“Ah, yes,” Elliott sighed. “Leah informed me Maru took a liking to the farmer at the Flower Dance. Her efforts to befriend her haven’t ceased since then. I can’t say I’m not pleasantly surprised, Maru has always been a bit of a shy girl.”
“R-Right.” The writer looked over at his friend at the sound of his shaky tone, biting his lip when he saw Harvey’s face had paled. 
This was just about the last scenario he’d wanted to happen — after the Flower Dance, he had realized how his initial description of his “mystery girl” could fit Maru, despite him trying to pinpoint your characteristics. In the midst of it all, it seemed you ignored the fact you fit the picture perfectly, hearing only that he was interested in a nurse. Harvey cursed his past self, the full repercussions of his actions hitting him. 
Yet another mess he didn’t know how to clean up.
Shane let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his forehead. “You really know how to get yourself into shit, don’t you, doc?”
“I suppose so,” he replied, voice void of energy. 
“Alright, enough with this moping.” Shane paused. “As much of an idiot as you are, you’re still my friend, and I owe you a few, so I’ll —  I can’t believe I’m doing this shit — I’ll ask Emily about it, alright? They’ve been hanging out a ton, so she’s gotta know something.”
Harvey looked at him with softened eyes. “Shane, I—”
“You better not tell a damn soul about this.” 
With that, Shane walked away, Elliott trailing behind him rambling something along the lines of, “I had no idea you could feel such things!”
Just as he began to relax, Harvey felt a finger tap his shoulder, jumping at the touch.
You laughed, stirred even more by his exasperated look. “C’mon, Harvs, loosen up! I feel like you’ve been so uptight recently.”
Oh, you have no idea. “Sorry,” he said, ignoring his thoughts. “You caught me off guard, is all.” He gave an awkward laugh, adjusting his glasses.
“You’re a bit . . . off, today,” you noticed, tilting your head at him. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all! How, um, how are you enjoying the Luau? Did you add something to the pot?” 
Despite his rushed voice, you — thankfully — decided to indulge him. “It’s been great! Especially since the weather has been so warm. Haley and Emily have basically been dragging me and Alex to the beach all week. Anyway, you’ll have to wait and see what I added to this year’s pot, it’s a surprise!”
Me and Alex. Harvey had to clench his jaw to prevent a scowl from forming on his face. He realized then just how foul the sound of another man’s name seemed coming from your tongue.
“What’s Maru like at work, by the way? She seems really sweet.”
“Maru, yes!” he answered, blinking as he came up with a careful response. “I enjoy working with her, she’s very passionate about what we do. She was actually one of the first people I truly talked to when I moved back here, since she wanted to be a nurse.”
You hummed. “I see.” Harvey noticed how your eyes narrowed for a split second, as if you were trying to decipher the meaning behind his words, before smiling. “That’s what I assumed.”
Harvey thought for a moment, knowing he had something he wanted to ask you, before brightening. “You remember the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies, don’t you?”
After a brief moment, you nodded excitedly, grinning. “How could I forget? We used to go every summer.”
Yes, of course. Harvey would never forget the evenings he spent with you on the beach, watching the water in anticipation as everyone waited for the jellies to arrive. He remembered you practically bouncing with excitement beside him, while he’d simply been satisfied seeing you happy.
Harvey smiled at the memory, a wave of nostalgia hitting him. “Well, it seems we’ll get to relive a memory this summer.”
“No way. They still come here?”
“Every year, just as before.”
“That’s great! Maybe you won’t be as scared as you used to be.”
“Hey, can you honestly blame me?! That is not a usual sight!”
As you laughed at him, Lewis announced the Governor would begin tasting the soup, and Harvey wondered why a mischievous look filled your eyes. Surely you wouldn’t put something unusual in the pot your first year in Pelican Town, would you? He expected you to save one of your best crops of the season for the occasion.
Instead, he watched Marnie nearly faint at the sight of the Governor pulling out a pair of purple shorts from his bowl. Lewis looked like he’d just seen a ghost.
“Are those . . . my shorts?! ”
-
After your little stunt at the last event, you were honestly surprised you were still invited to see the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies. Oddly enough, everyone seemed to move on from it relatively quickly, including Lewis himself.
Deciding not to think about it too much, you quickly filled up your pet’s water bowl and double-checked all the farm animals’ enclosures before walking up to your horse. She looked down at you with gentle eyes as you put on her harness, closing her eyes as you pet her head.
“Ready, girl?” You urged her forward, wind biting your cheeks as you swiftly made your way towards the beach. The gleaming light of the sunset made the ocean shine as you approached it, and you couldn’t help but let out an easy breath as your horse slowed. Throughout the previous couple of seasons, Pelican Town had grown to feel more like home to you than the city ever did. Sure, it was small, and farmwork was tedious, but you’d rather spend the rest of your life in the freeing countryside than in the claustrophobic city.
As you hopped off your horse, giving her a quick pet as thanks, you were quickly approached by the sisters and Leah. You smiled, waving at them. 
“Your outfit’s cute,” Haley complimented immediately, a drop of surprise in her voice. Leah nodded in agreement.
Emily lightly grabbed your shoulders, looking you up and down before giving you a wide smile. “Yes, you’re especially beautiful tonight, Y/N. Your energy is stronger than ever.” You laughed lightly after she winked at you, to which her sister swatted her away.
“Ugh, don’t say that stuff, Em! Just be normal and call her hot.” 
Leah laughed. “She’s right, you’re radiant tonight,” she sighed dreamily. “You all will have to give me some tips on how to dress sometime.”
Haley whipped her head around, crossing her arms. “Why? Your style’s already perfect.” Leah blinked, speechless at her statement as she began to blush. After a moment, the blonde quickly turned away, checking something on her phone. 
“She’s never said that to anyone before,” Emily whispered in your ear, and you believed it. You were constantly surprised at her approval of your style, especially after seeing how she criticized pretty much everyone else in town — particularly Alex.
As if he could sense your thoughts, the jock himself appeared next to you, a gridball tucked under one of his arms as he heavily dropped the other around your shoulders. 
“How’s it goin’, farmer?”
You shoved him off, unable to contain your smile as he grinned playfully at you. Although the two of you had a bit of an awkward start due to Haley’s bluntness, you quickly learned Alex was much more understanding after opening up to you. After hanging out a couple of times, he ended up telling you about his background and how he didn’t have the best relationship with his father, which could explain why it was a bit harder for him to let down his guard. Hearing him talk had made you feel comfortable enough to bring up some of your own troubles, pleasantly surprised at how well he’d listened and expressed his sympathy to you. 
Now, the two of you were open friends, seeing each other every other day and helping each other out whenever you could. This explained why he eagerly held out the gridball to all of you, sweat glistening on his skin. From the looks of it, he’d abandoned his shirt a while ago, his muscular body showing in all its glory.
“You wanna toss around a gridball with me and Sam?” he asked, his excitement reminding you of Dusty whenever you approached him with a treat.
“I think I’ll pass this time,” you replied, watching as he turned hopefully to the other girls. 
Upon seeing Haley’s deadpan stare, he shrugged. “Suit yourselves.” With that, he ran to the other end of the beach, calling out to his friend as he reared to throw the ball.
“You two are actually pretty cute together, you know,” Leah commented. Emily looked at you with wondering eyes, while Haley scoffed. You had a feeling she already knew your answer.
“Yeah, well, he’s not really my type.”
Just as your blonde friend began to make a remark, Harvey walked onto the beach, and her mouth snapped shut. 
Maru was next to him. Not that it mattered, but she was. Is she blushing, or is it the heat getting to her? You frowned at your thought. Why did that even matter?
As they made their way further in, Maru spotted you quickly, waving enthusiastically. You raised your hand in a greeting, smiling at her.
“I seriously have no idea how you’re so nice to her,” Haley muttered, trying to keep her voice down. “She obviously likes him back.”
You shrugged. “Regardless of whatever the hell is happening between all of us, she’s still a nice girl.” Let’s ignore the fact I’m constantly trying not to compare myself to her.
When Maru went to join her family, you made your way over to him, which was apparently the other girls’ signal to scatter. You silently reminded yourself to tell them to be more subtle as he turned to you, giving you the same shy smile you’d seen for years.
“Y/N! It’s good to see you,” he greeted. You could smell the cologne he was wearing from a few feet away. 
“Hey, Harvey!” Ever since the Summer had started, Harvey had abandoned his coat, opting to simply wear his white button-up with his sleeves rolled up. You swore he must have started working out after college — he was no longer the scrawny med student you’d known in college. 
After realizing you had been staring at his broad shoulders and thick arms for a bit too long, you quickly cleared your throat, bringing your attention back to his patient gaze.
“So, how was your day?” you asked, hoping you sounded normal.
“Same old,” he sighed. “Maru and I had to stay at the clinic for a bit to finish up some work, though. We just got finished.”
“Really? What kind of work?”
He shrugged. “Nothing too important.”
Nothing too important? Really? You watched enough movies to have an idea of what that could mean. As the two of you fell into a comfortable silence, you snuck glances at Harvey, trying to read his facial expression.
Something was off, but you couldn’t figure out what.
-
Something was off. Harvey could feel it.
He couldn’t tell if it was because of your mannerisms — which were a bit out of character, he noted, as you kept giving him looks he wasn’t used to — or what Shane had gathered from Emily at the Luau. Being back on the beach brought Harvey back to his friend’s words.
“She wouldn’t budge,” he’d said, visibly frustrated. “She just said you should ‘tread carefully around her’ and to ‘pay attention to what you might not typically notice.’ Some shit like that. Sorry, bud.”
Although he hadn’t exactly gotten the answer he’d been looking for, Harvey was still grateful for Shane’s efforts, trying his best to read more into your body language than usual. Through his quick looks at you while you gazed at the water, all he was able to gather was that you, as per usual, looked completely and utterly breathtaking. The moon had completely replaced the sun at that point, its pale light exaggerating the features on your face he’d memorized over the years. 
He swallowed, eyes glued to the horizon as he prayed his dusted-pink cheeks wouldn’t give him away.
Just as he opened his mouth to break the silence, you turned your head, gasping.
“They’re here!” Sure enough, the jellies slowly floated into view, shimmering in the ocean’s waves.
As Harvey turned to get a better view of them, his hand grazed yours, and you flinched slightly. 
Am I seeing things?
While your eyes were wide and awestruck at the sight of the jellyfish passing by, he took the moment as a chance to admire your expression. The moment was quickly over, though, when the sisters and Alex joined you. Thankfully, the gridball player had thrown on his t-shirt for the event.
“Whoa, isn’t it cool, Y/N?” he voiced, eyes round with amazement, and you laughed. God, he usually loved the sound, but he couldn’t stand to hear it then.
Harvey grit his teeth at the sight of him on the other side of you, part of him wanting to grab your hand and pull you to his chest. How was it fair that Alex got to dance with you, to make you laugh, to go to the beach with you, while he had to watch from afar? 
His heart ached at the thought of you not being his. He honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if it stopped beating altogether. 
You turned to him then, and he jumped slightly as you met his eyes. 
“Still scared, Harvs?” you asked quietly, the teasing glint in your gaze reminding him of when you were young.
“Terrified,” he joked, tension leaving his body at the sight of your grin.
“Well, you’re in luck — I’m back in town, so I can protect you again!” He could hardly believe it. Despite decades passing, you still said the phrase with the same tone. It was as if he could hear your younger self’s voice echoing in the back of his head.
He couldn’t help but laugh, feeling his hand brushing against yours once again as the jellyfish disappeared. He swore it took all his willpower not to intertwine your fingers together.
Harvey wondered how you could be so, so close to his grasp, and yet so far away.
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stillgotscars · 5 months ago
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you guys, i think i just connected the dots… “whether i’m gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, i haven’t decided yet / but i’m gonna get you back” → “now i’m in a cab / i tell ‘em where your place is / […] i don’t wanna fit wherever / i just wanna keep calling your name until you come back home” → “now, pretty baby, i’m running back home to you” → “my house of stone, your ivy grows, and now i’m covered in you” → “you can feel it on the way home / […] you are in love, true love”
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pleasantglitterflower · 5 months ago
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Heart Podium (Joe Burrow x OC x Max Verstappen)
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Many times our childhood dreams cannot be realized, due to our overly fertile imagination, many times our professional childhood dreams cannot be realized either, either due to the delay in getting a place at the university we dreamed of or the lack of opportunities when it comes to working in the arts or sports. 
There's always plan b.
Kayleigh was one of those kids, it's true that dreaming of being a Backyardigan was difficult, but she was left with plan b, a plan that was broadcast every Sunday before the NFL, her father would have lunch, afternoon snack and dinner on the same channel, watching the drivers and then the Cleveland Browns, his favorite team in the state. 
That was the most exciting thing Kayleigh had in her childhood, watching Formula One followed by a good Browns game, arriving at school and eagerly wanting to talk to someone, but the girls didn't like the subject and asked to talk about something else and the boys laughed at her.
Leaving her and her mom's cookies in the stands.
Until one day she plucked up the courage and asked her father to play go-kart, finding a track in the state of Ohio in 2004, it wasn't the easiest task in the world, but he managed it and little by little, it went from being a joke to a serious thing.
Until high school came and she discovered that there were two ways to get into college: she had to be very smart or know how to play some sport, in 2011 in the United States, go-kart doesn't really mean a sport, far from it.
Not knowing what to do, she decided to confront her parents in her first year.
Not wanting to do anything, since it wouldn't help her with her possible future career was a very risky step.
For her parents, it's not even worth mentioning, they wanted to freak out, exchanging the stability of a degree for a go-kart race, for them it's crazy, especially when they've always prepared themselves financially for it, when they always prepared for her to enter university, which is not the cheapest thing,and it was in these uncertainties and in the midst of this conflict of whether or not to go to college that she tried to get interested in more conventional sports.
But when she tried out, she was terrible at soccer, average at lacrosse, slow at basketball, tough at gymnastics, shy at cheerleading, short at volleyball, afraid of water when swimming and she's a girl, she couldn't play American football.
It was during one of these that she found herself making a fuss.
-You're going to regret it, you know, you're losing the best wide receiver the world has ever seen -  She yelled.
One of the guys looked at her in fright, while others wondered who she was.
-You know you were running for the cornerback spot, right? A blond guy tells her.
-Yeah, I know, that's exactly why - She sighs tiredly.
-Because you came to try for the spot right here, you know they don't choose girls easily.
-I’ve tried everywhere, I came here just to cause trouble, I had nothing to do” She confesses, leaving him confused.
-Really?
-Yes-They end up laughing.
-You don’t like a specific sport, maybe if you try there you’ll do better, maybe explain to the coach that you like it and want to learn and she’ll let you stay-He suggests.
-I like watching, but not putting it into practice, I’m doing this more so my parents can see that I’m not good, I already know I’m not good-She sighs.
-I’m sorry-He gives her a half smile, until she feels a crack.
-Geez, I haven’t tried baseball yet-she remembers and gets up, leaving the equipment there.
-They don’t accept girls either-He reminds her.
-That’s exactly why-Kayleigh laughs.
-By the way, what's your name?-She stops, holding the door.
-I'm Joseph-he says shyly.
-I'm Kayleigh, see you soon, Joseph.
And yes, she tried baseball, but the first time she held the bat, it ended up between the legs of the boy next to her, who fell to the ground groaning in pain.
Kayleigh was thrown out.
Fate was cruel to her when it came to sports, but it only reinforced the idea that she had to continue in karting.
After meeting Joseph, she would see him someday, as she thought, but she would see him every day, until the prom, when after two years together, she finally realized that they would have to separate by force,and how that hurt, not only for her but for him too.
-I can’t believe you’re going to Europe, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m going to tell Ohio State to go fuck itself, I’ll go with you wherever you have to go, but I don’t want to be away from you.-His cheeks already reddened from the cold, he said.
-Stop saying that, you’ve been given an incredible opportunity, you have to take advantage of it.-She tried to convince him.
-But I can’t imagine being away from you.-Hearing that, she lay down on his lap.
-We’ll get through this, you’ll see, and we’ll be strong.
The first year away was the hardest, not only for Joseph, but for her parents too, because seeing their daughter try to make a living racing karts, traveling all over Europe, was something that made them so proud, but at the same time so apprehensive.The second year seemed to be easier. They were already well accustomed to the routine of video calls, social media, messages, letters. They sent polaroids to hang up. Once, Joseph even caught himself putting his perfume on the paper to make sure she could smell him. They exchanged gifts, everything.
Until the careers arrived on television, Joseph could sit down and look for the channel to watch her and she could pick up the phone and watch the college divisionals.The fifth year passed, the sixth too, and then the seventh, when Joe finally took off in his career in American football, being drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals.
And the following year, Kayleigh did what she never imagined she would be able to do: she reached Formula One, after almost dying waiting for this event. Of course the party was huge, she returned to her country with all possible honor, suddenly a little girl from Ohio was going to compete for a title for a team and everyone wanted to know what this little girl does and better, where are the American boys who are not having the same prominence?But she could never say that it had any real effect on the American public. Formula One is still a playboy thing for them, to the point where they even consider golf a more accessible sport.
Just as she was there for Joe's big debut, he was there for his big debut, of course,but their contracts ended up preventing more contact. They had to train, they had to focus, they couldn't travel long distances or do physical work before their work, and they also couldn't be too far away from their work.
It allowed them to spend a few moments together. She would catch his last games if he made the playoffs and he would catch her first races,so much time apart didn't make their love diminish. On the contrary, seeing each other's achievements seemed to only strengthen their love for each other.And even without knowing, there was someone who was not at all happy with this growing love.
-Joe said he'll call me soon.-She jumps around the room excitedly, waiting for someone to call her to give her the prize.
-Hmm- Max makes an annoyed face, leaving his helmet on the stand.
-That's cute, it's the middle of the night in the United States, isn't it?-Carlos asks her, all smiles.
-Yes, it's the middle of the night and he stayed up.-She doesn't hide her smile.
-Really the last of the romantics.-Max rolls his eyes.
-Stop being annoying, she's so happy.-Carlos watches her like a doting father.
Max glares at him, enough for the Spaniard to avoid him and stay quiet.
And of course, the next day, as always happens after every race, Joe sends her a huge bouquet, with a dedication and, when he is present, romantic letters.For most people around him, it is just his European or rather, Dutch humor.
But for those who actually live with him and see the mistakes he makes and notices, the way he treats her when she talks about other things and when she talks about Joe, they understand very well.
Max messed up her hair, trying to free her mind from those thoughts, from that feeling, but realized it was difficult.After another podium with her, another trip to a random bar with everyone involved, the country's biggest celebrities and everything else, he could no longer stand two things.
The first, Charles flirting even with the walls of the place.
The second, the fact that she trusted George more than him, to tell him the reason for her 37th breakup with Joe.
-I honestly don't understand you guys, one moment you say that distance is good, the next you break up because of distance, make up your mind damn it-George, tired of the situation, slammed his hand on the table.He fixed his hair, looked around and composed himself.
-Sorry man, I got carried away-He spoke like most people do sometimes, treating her like a man.
-I know it's not the most normal thing to do, but it tires me out-She said finally, she didn't want to waste her friend's night with this, much less make him occupy his mind with his problems.
She went to the bar to order another drink, without realizing who was next to her.
-Did you bump into something?-She heard someone ask and then looked to the side to see Max.
-What do you mean?-She immediately became confused.
-Your leg is kind of purple,-he says.
-Oh, let's just say I might have fallen on my suitcase- She rolls her eyes.
-It's the third time this season.-He holds back his laughter.
-She goes everywhere and sometimes it happens.-She shrugs.
-Your suitcase can make you more purple than your boyfriend, I think it's time to trade him for her.-Max takes a sip of his drink, savoring every note of it, satisfied with yet another mean comment about Joe. He knows how distance affects him and that's nothing more than a psychological game, sending indirect messages that hurt.
As always, she remained silent, discreetly observing her leg and trying to cover the bruise, with her face reddened.
-I can't blame him, he's going after his dream." She answers for the first time, even if a while later and too quietly, as if she wasn't even there anymore.
Until the girl asks herself, why is Max worried about this?
For a second, Max almost misses the destination of the glass, looking at her.
-Really, there are men whose only dream is to chase a ball, not to have trophies and a woman who loves him.-He takes the opportunity to retort.
-Thanks for ruining the rest of my night, Max, you're always so sensitive.-She answers, choked, finishes her drink and walks towards the exit with long strides.
Max remains there at the bar, staring at the various bottles, some full, others half full, thinking that once again she leaves angry with him, because he doesn't defend her dear Joe.
-You don't have to be so rude all the time, I know you're used to guys around here, but you have to realize that there are girls around here now and they deserve to be treated with kindness and affection, did you know that women are people too?Lewis appears at her side, irritated by the situation.
-Have you stopped talking, Lewis Senna Hamilton?He scoffed.
Max was already drunk enough to almost drag himself back to the hotel.
And even after spending the next few hours thinking about whether or not to knock on her door, as he always does when he’s drunk, he decided it wasn’t the right time.
When he woke up with the sun and that strange feeling, since that’s usually when he goes to sleep, thanks to the jet lag, he allowed himself the luxury of staying a few more minutes in that comfortable bed, under all those sheets, grabbing the fluffiest of his pillows to hug, trying to get it into his head that he was hugging her, trying to get it into his mind that he woke up next to her that morning, it seems he was so used to doing this every morning that with each passing day, the images became clearer in his mind and the sensations stronger.
And for the next race he had a surprise, he jumped out and took off his helmet and head protector, looking in disbelief at the smiling couple on the sidelines watching the track.
-Joe, should I congratulate you or say my condolences? Max gives his best sarcastic smile.
-I don't understand- Joe's radiant smile fades.
-What do you expect from a player? Max grumbles, he had meters around to pass and reach his destination, a screen to review his training, but he made sure to pass between the two, bumping into Joe.
He placed his helmet on the table next to him, silently completing the malicious thought, about his possible dubious qi, when he saw Joe approaching through the shadow on the ground, his smile only grew wider.
Kayleigh decided to leave, aware that they would have some kind of argument.
-I don't understand your stubbornness, Max- Joe confessed, watching Max from a few inches away.
-I say it over and over again, what can you expect from a player? Max rolls his eyes.
-And what are you, don’t you play in this?Joe retorts.
-I’m a pilot, it’s different-he says, convinced.
On the side of the track, tired and just waiting for time to pass, the topic, as always, was just one.
-Max is PMSing- Lando comments while sitting on the floor.
-We should take up a collection and pay a gynecologist, so she can prescribe some medicine, I don’t know- Hulkenberg adds.
-I think what he needs is a psychiatrist, one minute he’s calm, the next he wants to kill you, he’s crazy- Lewis concludes.
-He just needs some time to calm down, recharge his batteries and rest- George defends him.
But he ends up getting angry looks from everyone.
-For this and other reasons, I stay away from that snake pit they call Red Bull, God forbid I have to deal with that creature - Charles says, looking disdainfully at their reserved space.
-No offense, Kay- He makes his observation.
-No offense, I can't stand it anymore- She confesses.
-Not even Kayleigh throws this tantrum when she's on her period, honestly we don't even know when that happens, thanks for sparing us- Lando thanks her, making her laugh.
-I think there are certain details that aren't necessary- She comments.
Max walks past the group with firm steps.
-No one moves their ass in this place, then they complain about the podium- He sends the indirect message with his angry eyes.
Everyone there exchanges glances.
-Hold the Japanese- Ricciardo warns.
-Why? Charles finds the request strange.
-I’m warning you, hold the Japanese guy-he repeats.
And indeed, poor Tsunoda is at breaking point with Max.
Joe left, but Max’s sourness didn’t.
During breakfast at the hotel, Pierre’s strawberries were more sour than expected.
-Her boyfriend leaves and doesn’t get a bruise on his neck, he’s a real wimp- Max grumbles, savoring his waffles.
George’s eyes widen, he wipes his mouth with the napkin next to him.
-Max, how rude. He glances at Max out of the corner of his eye.
But Pierre has the most priceless face, he looks like he’s eaten something spoiled.
-Jesus, you weirdo, who says that, keeps an eye on others, has he become a tax inspector now? He left his comment.
-Watch out guys, there are people watching our necks- Lando dramatically covers his with his sweatshirt.
-I think you should start thinking about where and when you say certain things, Max- Carlos warns him, earning his laugh.
-Why? Do you know anything?” The Dutchman stared at him.
-Common sense Max, just common sense- he retorted.
-That was ridiculously sexist, Max, if that’s what you say, imagine what you think- Lewis gives him his best disapproving look.
-Have you finished your testimony Lewis?Max provokes him.
Max’s life became increasingly complicated there, with the boys and his provocations, little by little choosing to be alone, but not as much as Kayleigh's, who, in addition to having to put up with his mood swings, also has to put up with Joe's suspicions.
His jealousy used to have no name, but now it has a first and last name. Kayleigh only sees one reason for it, the fact that they work together, nothing else could make sense, andexplaining it doesn't seem to help, Joe found himself wondering why they exchanged smiling handshakes live, if she hates him so much.
-Do you really think that after the race, I'll remember how much I hate him? Of course not, Joe. I just think that I won or that I need to improve, hug everyone involved and leave. - She explains, pacing back and forth across the room.
-I don't want to be the annoying guy, but he doesn't look like he hates you, he seems to take advantage of your innocence. - Joe says almost desperately.
-What innocence, Joe? - She asks him.
-Kay, I don't want to fight over this guy. I'm just saying that this isn't something that makes me comfortable. You're walking around half the world with them in a place full of men working, next to several men, and that bothers me. Not only because of jealousy, I don't know, maybe they'll try to do something to you. -
-Jesus, Joe, don't say something like that. I understand your side, okay. I'm not saying you're wrong, but you need to trust me. I won't betray your trust. I haven't done that in all these years. Why would I do it now? - She tries to calm him down.
-Sorry for stressing you out. - He sighs heavily.
And it's been like this for a while.
Even when they're not at work, free to visit somewhere, Max seems to show up in the same place as her or simply in a place nearby, which makes Joe even more suspicious.
But Max couldn't stop there. When he saw her calmly standing there taking some notes, Max approached her with the excuse of seeing what she was writing down and it was then that he took the opportunity to bring his face too close to hers, which left her somewhat speechless. He placed his hand on her hip, giving her a discreet caress.
-Studying for the race, kitten?- He smiled at her reaction, a mix of confusion and embarrassment.
-Sorry Kay, I forget that you're sensitive to male touches. He laughed, leaving her blushing and finally going where he wanted.
She closed her eyes, not liking it at all. His provocations were getting more and more personal with Joe.
Whenever Max managed to get the slightest hint, he would walk away smiling.
But this time, George decided to confront him.
-You should be ashamed of touching women who are in a committed relationship inappropriately- he says, somewhat indignantly.
-Have you had your tea yet, dear English nobleman?" George rolls his eyes.
-Max, I'm serious, that's not cool, it could cause unnecessary confusion- he insists.
-You look so cute saying 'unnecessary'.Max laughs at the guy, who decides to get more serious.
-When Joe gets pissed off and comes to punch you in the face, don't tell me I never warned you.
-Before he punches me in the face, he'll punch you in the face, because you're the little friend who's always around, hugging and advising when they break up. Do you really think he's going to come after me, George?
-I'm in a committed relationship, I've never done this with bad intentions. He doesn't like the accusation.
-Wow, now I'm confused, is this a swing or a threesome? Max laughs to himself.
George stopped walking at the same moment, offended and even more shocked by another accusation.
When he realized it, Max took a few steps back and ruffled his hair.
-Just kidding, George, you're so cute.
But even his happiest days get bad when he sees the two of them together on social media, kisses, dates, more kisses. Max is sure that if Joe knew how jealous he is of him, for being able to love the woman he loves, he would definitely dig a hole to the center of the earth and stay there, far from Max's eyes.
He has thought countless times about using Joe's number saved on his phone, to send some manipulated photo or one that would have a double meaning, but knowing the two of them, he believes that even that would be reason to break up and get back together after a few days.
But it's these photos, the flowers, the letters, her giggles in the corners of the hotel, that make him freak out when he shouldn't. After being next to her in one of the endless meetings and noticing his new gift, a ring on her finger, that was enough for Max to find any reason to start stomping his feet and shouting. And sometimes he even measures her before the race, in the best possible way, as if he were casting a curse on her. -Damn, did you two fight? The boy asks her. -Honestly, I don't know, he left the meeting shouting, now he just looks at me like that. She sighs tiredly. At one of the parties, thanks to Charlie, he can talk to her a little. -You know, girls, sometimes we reach 200 kilometers per hour.He boasts, the trio of friends start drooling in French. -You could say that I am speed. He gives her his most seductive smile.
Max denied it and snorted.
-If I say something like that, I'll get a restraining order.- He takes a good sip of his drink.
-Also, with a sensitive mood like that, you can be sure that many would be afraid. She teased.
-So I don't have a chance? He used his playful tone.
-You're quite cheeky, you know. She lightly took his hand as a quick friendly caress, more for his level of need, that wasn't just a caress.
Max took her hand, lifting it and bringing it to his lips, finally leaving a caress there.
She was embarrassed, but she couldn't see any harm in anything Max did; for her, that was just an apology for the previous treatment.
But from that day on, it could be said that Max started to look at her more, in increasingly shameless ways.
Once again, with a podium in his hands, he waited for her, making sure to catch her eyes, just so she could see him measuring her completely, and she could see that it really affected her.
Or another time, when she was already embarrassed by him staring at her, while she watched the screen with the replay of some moments of the race, he caressed her face, giving her a wink.
She certainly doesn't know what to do with that.
Joe can't dream of that, while Max seems to love it.
But what she didn't expect was for someone to tell Joe about the flirting and say that she is increasingly cornered by the situation.
Unfortunately for Joe, in the middle of his season and fortunately for Max, in the middle of Joe's season.
One day after getting out of the car, Max was waiting for her, not giving her much space to walk away, the girl took off her helmet without knowing what that was, does he want to solve something? Are they going to slap each other or something like that? She wondered.
-How are you, Max? She looked at him.
-You were amazing, you know that? He spoke softly, raising his hands again to her hips and patting them a few times.
-Thanks, I have to go - she said, without giving Max any space. He wanted to know how she was when her only option was to be ridiculously close to him.
The group was confused, to say the least, they didn't know what the hell was going on and what the atmosphere was like.
As Max walked away with firm steps, when he saw that she was far away, he decided to try to get along with the Red Bull team.
-Sometimes I forget that she's not a guy - he laughed for no reason, but he's not like the other boys, who really do forget that she's the woman there. Max remembers who she is every second.
But Joe's situation is nothing that a phone call can't solve.
-Joe, I don't understand who told you that? He asked.
-Someone I trust- Joe justifies himself.
-Joe, I'm going to be honest, if I had the chance to sleep with her, you can be sure I would have done it already, as many times as I could and you can be sure that every time I lie down in my bed, I wonder why it hasn't happened yet and guess what, it's your fault- Max decides to be honest just to hear what Joe has to say.
-You're really brave to say something like that, you know? You know what, I'm going to kill you- Joe gets upset enough for Max to have some difficulty understanding what he's saying, the Dutchman gave his best laugh.
-You know, just a simple touch on her hip makes her all embarrassed, it makes me wonder how long it's been since she's been with a real man, but apparently I don't think that's ever happened, especially since she's only been with you- He continued his provocations.
-Joe, it's really cool that you're the cute guy who gives flowers after every race, gives gifts, writes letters, but if I were you I'd start to worry, because there are a lot of people watching her and I'm one of those people- Joe snorted from the other side.
-Because you can be sure that if I were her boyfriend, her legs wouldn't need a stupid touch to go weak, a simple look would be enough to make her remember a lot of things, things like that my friend, let's be honest, we're among friends here, you don't- Max stabbed the last time, hearing a sound of something breaking and he was sure it wasn't a glass but the phone.
Kayleigh almost didn't find out anything, they both avoided the subject just waiting for the other to tell.
But as the races went by, the atmosphere between Max and her seemed increasingly confused.
With the end of another race, Max lifted her up in a hug that at the moment, out of joy, she didn't stop to think about everything that was happening, but Joe did.
-The thing is, if it were me, it wouldn't be just fucking work- Joe shouted loud enough for her to have to pull the phone away from her ear.
-It was just a hug Joe, we've been together for I don't know three, four years, we work side by side, I understand your jealousy, don't think I don't understand, I do understand and in your place I would be like that too, I'll talk to him okay, I promise I'll talk to him and we'll work this out- She tries to calm him down having this idea.
-Kayleigh Hawkins I trust you, please don't make me lose that trust in you, I love you regardless of whether we can't spend a month together without breaking up, I don't know what I would do without you- He asks sighing heavily on the other side.
-I never did anything to make you doubt me, you know that Joe, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't be with you until today, swallowing all these breakups, just promise me that you'll calm down, okay? I love you - She says finally.
She went to sleep and tried to calm her mind, she needed to be calm and talk to Max the right way, she knows how he is, even if she's a little uncomfortable with all this extra contact they're having, there's no reason to do this to Joe, to let him suffer with a situation that's already driving him crazy, he's far away and the only thing she can do is trust that they're telling him the truth.
She got ready, took pictures with everyone who asked and went into the nightclub, this time looking for Max, the first thing she thought would be that he'd be at the bar, as he always does, but nothing.
She spotted George and it doesn't hurt to try.
She nudged him lightly so that he would lean in without leaving the circle of conversation.
-Have you seen Max? She asks him.
-Thank God I haven't seen Satan today. I heard he came to Earth in the body of this Max guy, but honestly I think Max is the one possessing the devil. George turns back to the group of friends. Okay, that's not the information she wanted to hear today.
She asked Lando the question, indiscreetly interrupting him and a girl she doesn't know, earning a free kick.
-Man, I haven't seen him - Pierre says, already out of habit in the male environment.
She sighs, imagining two hypotheses: either he's hiding out with some girls or he's gone back to the hotel.
She quickly makes sure to send a message to Joe, saying that he's definitely with some woman and that she's going to wait a little longer to look for him again. She rolls her eyes at having to do that, still feeling like she's going to be really embarrassed.
She picked up her drink and decided to walk around again until she saw him walking outside with his glass and sitting alone at a table.
She hurried, she needed to be quick, she didn't want anyone to arrive in the middle of the process.
When she walked through the door, it was clear that he found it strange that she went there, he gave her a small smile that was returned.
-Can I sit here? She politely asked for one of the empty seats.
He put his hands under the armrest of his chair with a big smile.
-You can sit wherever you want.
-Okay - she mumbled tensely.
-What do you need? He asked her, making her a little embarrassed.
If he was having a bad day, it could get even worse, so she decided to be as cautious as possible.
-Joe talked to me yesterday, he was a little upset about our hug, he got jealous of you and you know, I don't want that to get in the way of anything, not you, me or him, so if you could reduce the physical contact it would be a big help. She smiles nervously.
Joe said he's jealous? he asks with the same apathetic expression.
It was then that his laughter startled her.
-Yeah, I know, it's irrational. She quickly agrees, starting to lose her voice and blush with embarrassment, she didn't need to be making such a fool of herself, she thought.
Max froze when he heard that and with his best ironic tone, asked her to continue.
-We've known each other for years, we work together on the same team, it's crazy to say this, I'm really sorry for this boring conversation, but I promised him I'd talk to you, you know- she's already preparing for the next kick, he'd probably say it's a favor not to have to hug her and that would be the kindest thing she could imagine that could come out of his mouth.
-First of all, I'm an educated man, so I wouldn't be talking nonsense, smiling, complimenting, or any of that crap to someone I'm not interested in. We both know you're smart, you don't need to force it so much. She's in a mix of understanding and not understanding.
He looks at her and realizes he's only confused her even more.
-Tell your boyfriend, if he's jealous, he'll have to have the balls to come here to solve it - Max says, enjoying the situation.
-This will create an unnecessary situation, you know, you don't need all this for a misunderstanding- she explains again.
-Let me explain something to you, since you didn't have the tact to notice, from the damn moment I met you, well before I knew that this idiot was your boyfriend, I was already in love with you and something stopped me from talking to you, my girlfriend. Now I'm single and nothing stops me from talking to you. Are you going to say you never noticed? Her feet fell, as she tried to reason, she felt a cold hand go up her thigh. She froze there, not knowing what to do, looking at Max who had the most peaceful expression in the world.
She looked down, seeing the hem of her loose black dress rising higher and higher, exposing the area. She couldn't understand how Max, who distributes rudeness, now had a hand on her thigh. She delicately brought her hand to meet his, making eye contact with him again, but when she thought she would stop her hand, she only made him squeeze the spot and get even closer to where he shouldn't.
-Max I think you- She prepares to get up, but he is faster.
-Sit down, we're not done talking - he uses his most gentle tone, but even so it's hard to say anything.
-That idiot Joe has even threatened to kill me, you know, because he knows that I like you and I made one thing clear to him and now it's going to be clear to you, the only thing I need is for you to say yes, you know where my room is, it's always next to yours, it's not hard to find, when you get tired of this idiot you can knock on my door. - He walks away.
-That's not how it works, it's not about getting tired of my boyfriend -She is cut off.
-I don't know how and what you like about him, so yes, it's a matter of getting tired of him
Even with the shock, she stayed quiet and didn't say anything to anyone, she thought that would make things easier, but everything got worse with Max.
Now besides being a sweetheart, he's simply everywhere.
This includes grabbing her hand when she is focused on the training screens, indiscreetly measuring her and, what has caught the team's attention the most, the number of times he touches her hair.
On another day, finishing some notes about the current track, she doesn't know when he appeared, but he started massaging her shoulders, slowly moving up to her neck. The first thing she did was cough to discreetly send him away, which didn't help.
-You need to relax, Kay, you're too tense - he says quietly.
One of the guys on the team walked by them.
-I'm enjoying seeing you helping each other, Red Bull spirit - the guy leaves smiling.
-Max, that's enough, you're going too far -she says through clenched teeth.
-That's my specialty. He laughed, one of his arms serving as support so he could slide his hand down her spine as far as he could reach, slowly moving up, noticing her held breath.
-You need to relax, why don't you take a deep breath and let my hands help you?He suggested.
-I need you to stop with the double-meaning jokes - She asked.
He didn't answer, he just brought his fingers to the back of her neck, massaging the tips of them and moving down a little, he got as close as the backless bench would allow, pressing her head against his torso, and finally sliding his fingers from her jaw until they almost reached her lap.
-And what kind of massage is this? Can you explain it to me? She asked reluctantly.
-A casual massage, like any other, I think that massage is more about touching someone's skin until you see relaxation appear, and that angle of you is wonderful - He teased, aware that with the force used there it would be difficult for her to move.
-Max, I didn't know you could give a massage - Lando shouts from outside.
-That's great for those who wear a helmet.
-I'll have one - Lando says, and Charles agrees next to him.
-Me too.
-Sure, boys. I'll be right there when I'm done. He smiles at the two of them, who continue on their way.
-Why aren't you writing it down? Did you forget what you wanted? He gives his most fake tone of concern.
But by giving her the massage right there, he makes it difficult for her to say anything.
He then gently lowers his fingers and finishes, bending down a little so that he's at the height of her neck.
-Stop pretending you didn't like it. Considering that you're dating Joe and how much your skin is crawling, I think you should go to the bathroom and get yourself together - he pats her shoulder.
-It's great to see how satisfying these hands are, not just on the steering wheel. He laughs, walking away and giving her another wink. Kayleigh closed the notebook, wanting to bury her face in the ground. This can't be happening. Max can't be serious. But he is very serious and to make the test complete, he decided to tease her with a little more than words. The situation has already escalated to a point where she doesn't know if she can keep denying it and, worse, what to say to Joe when he calls at the end of the day and she has the same scared expression. Suddenly, the guy who was a jerk to everyone has become an angel with her and, on top of that, says he's in love with her, to the point of making a scene. The point is, she doesn't know how far he's going with the description, but Max knows well.
Tsunoda, who is next to the two, was a bit embarrassed by his face towards her and hers towards the floor. He doesn't know if coughing would help to start a conversation or if anything else, the atmosphere around them became unpleasant and even tense. 
She was grateful when she saw Carlo approaching, smiling as always, and greeted everyone, but before they could say anything. 
-We would make a beautiful couple, wouldn't we? He points at her, who freezes in disbelief. 
-Isn't she with Joe? Carlos asks. 
-I didn't ask about him, I'm talking about us. Tsunoda and Sainz stare at each other, not knowing what to say, along with her, who has wide eyes. 
-Of course, they would be great, she's very pretty and you - Carlos is cut off. 
-Really, she's beautiful. Max gives his best smile to Kay, who pretends not to have heard anything.
-I heard Lando calling me, bye guys. He left in a hurry without looking back. It didn't matter that they must have been there for an event or something, he would arrive at the last minute and that was it.
But her destination ended up being the same as his.
Max took advantage of the hotel corridor being empty, to reach her and hug her body from behind, holding her. Kay moved, trying to get out of the tight spot, and then Max decided to play it low, going up to her neck and nibbling it.
-Can't you see that it's crowded here, can't you see that this is going to hurt me? She asked him irritably, trying to stop him from continuing to caress her.
-You said that I always mistreated you, I'm just treating you the way I should, making my interests obvious to everyone. He replied.
And then only two breaths were heard in the hallway, Max continued the attack on her neck, sliding his hand until he reached the hem of the woman's pants where she quickly grabbed him.
-Are you going to run away again? You know that the more you run the better it is for me, because then I'll feel like I've won you over. He then released her, turning her to face him.
When he realized, he was against a wall in one of the many empty hallways, Max brought his hand to her face, squeezing her cheeks.
-Do you know how much it hurt me to spend four years of my life, seeing you with that clown, while you were always by my side? Do you know what it's like to see him deliver flowers, letters and then suddenly it all ends, you feel hope, then you come back and all this repeats itself over and over again, meanwhile, I'm the guy who's always here, do you know how horrible that is? He asked her somewhat irritated, not with her anymore, but with the situation.
-Not even when you were hospitalized after a crash, he showed up, like a good teammate I went there, do you understand now how much I need you to dump him and let me make you truly happy? he asked, letting his hand slip.
He steps away slightly, Kay runs her hands through her hair, messing it up, looking to one side nothing but an empty hallway, looking to the other the same and Max in front of her waiting for the answer.
-You guys break up all the damn time, break up with him, spend some time with me and then if you regret it, which I highly doubt, you go back to him. Max waits for her decision, staring at her.
-I can't... he quickly cuts her off.
-You can't throw away your childhood love, a beautiful childhood love that you see for three months and then only next year."
She swallows that.
-I may not be the nicest guy, nor as loved by everyone as he is, but I will be here and I know very well how much you want someone who is here. He gently takes her hand.
-You want someone who will hold your hand, praise you, watch you run, can do something stupid together, someone who understands you, someone who is not so fickle, someone who is here to wake up next to you, who will hug you at night, who can touch you and he can't do any of that but I can and I want to. The distance between the two became short again until the wall appeared.
Kayleigh took a deep breath and nodded slightly, she was afraid that she was under the effect of his power of persuasion and even more so of those eyes, but she couldn't deny it. She did miss Joe's presence, she loved him, not having him around was always the biggest obstacle.
And this obstacle would only have one solution, one of the two of them giving up their careers.
The fact is that once again they have been separated for a week, but as always she cries on the day and then pretends that nothing happened and they are together.
-We broke up last week - she begins, still thoughtful. -We can try, but I don't want anyone to know, because if nothing works out, I don't want it to become a mess, or for anyone to talk about it - she asks. -They'll start seeing me smile, it'll be kind of obvious - he approaches. -Are you sure?" He asks cautiously first. -Yes - he agrees. Max presses the elevator button, leaves a hand caressing her ear, preparing to finally kiss her for the first time. Max never hides his desire, much less his rush, but even so, he takes Kayleigh by surprise when he lets his hands roam guiltlessly over her body in that hallway.
He finally felt the weight, anger and hurt of all those years being thrown aside, being extracted from her body, he wouldn't say she wanted to wait so long, but being able to drive Joe crazy, just like he had been all this time was wonderful, now he finally has what he wants, her.
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salemlunaa · 2 months ago
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ෆ REVISION IS KEY ෆ
as the operant power, you decide your life…
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For those of you who want your dream face, you’ve had it. For those of you who want your dream bank account, you’ve already had it. For those of you who want your dream lives now, you are living it.
I don’t care if the 3d showed you “nothing” as you woke up this morning, it doesn’t matter. revise it. You can revise absolutely anything in your life, anything. As the operant power, you get to choose what happens in your reality, when it happens and you get to orchestrate events in your life down to the smallest detail.
If you don’t like something, it didn’t happen anyway
If you don’t like the fact you’ve not induced pure consciousness yet, what are you upset about? you already have. multiple times.
If you don’t like the fact that you woke up with “nothing”, you didn’t, in fact you have everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
If you’re getting frustrated over the realisation that you’ve been in this community for a while and “haven’t been able to manifest anything”, rewrite that, that’s false and you have everything you’ve desired because you’re so powerful, you have accomplished so much.
If you don’t like the way a certain situation panned out, then redesign it.
Because you can.
Do not conform to the 3d, no matter what. You have stumbled across the law and shifting for a reason, please don’t tell me that you’ve learned all that you’ve learned just to listen to the 3d. Who’s to say you’re a failure? That you’ve accomplished nothing? What is your proof of that?
Truly, think about it, to all of you who are frustrated because you haven’t induced pure consciousness yet, or you haven’t managed to manifest anything, I want to ask you, what is your proof of that? how do you know that’s true? why do you believe that is true? How come you are so sure?
The answer to all of those is the 3d, whether you like it or not, look back at those questions, the answer to each of them is “because the 3d said so”, “because you can’t see it in the 3d”.
And that is where your mindset needs to change. As the operant power, as a god of your reality, you can choose what has happened, what is happening and what is yet to happen. If you let the 3d get in between that, you won’t progress. The 3d is nothing but a lifeless mirror, waiting to reflect your dominant thoughts, why are you using it as a reference point? Why are you using it to determine whether you have your desires or not?
Nothing is real unless you want it to be because you have the final say. So revise revise revise!!
The 3d can’t tell you what’s what, revise,simply because you can🌀💋
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miyamiwu · 2 months ago
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Initially, what made Blue Lock great was its concept of ego. It was fresh and never before discussed at length in a sports manga. The story also clearly presented a theory—“Individualism, and not collectivism, is what’s needed for the Japan football team to win”—and then slowly elaborated on that theory until it finally proved it true in the U20 arc.
The manga could’ve ended right after the U20 match and just leave the World Cup happenings to the reader’s imagination, but it didn’t. Instead, it sought to put the Blue Lock Philosophy against different philosophies all over the world in the NEL arc.
This is a bold and exciting move, but now the position of the Blue Lock Philosophy being Correct is constantly challenged. And with each match they play, believing Blue Lock to be the right way is getting harder and harder.
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Snuffy is right. Ego alone won’t get you anywhere.
On the world stage, where all the top players are egoistic, you need to have more than just ego in order to win.
Isagi gaining metavision was a good writing choice because it elevated him to the levels of pros…but then it turned out that many of these pros have metavision as well.
When ego and metavision aren’t unique, then that leaves actual physical skills to be the deciding factor on whether you gain an advantage on the field.
And Isagi… is not the best player physically. He never was.
And that’s fine! He doesn’t have to be talented in that regard in order to compete… but the thing is, we also haven’t seem him doing any focused training on his physical skills. And I don’t mean regular Blue Lock hell training because everybody does that. I’m talking about Isagi picking one weakness he has and just focusing on improving it. He doesn’t have to be the best in it, but there should be some effort.
He’s not so good at one-on-one’s, so maybe he can work on his dribbling. Or maybe he can practice how to trap the ball better so he’ll have more shooting options and not be overly reliant on his direct shot. Or maybe he can do some strength/core training so he won’t be easily knocked away by Rin again. Anything!
But so far, there’s been none of that in the NEL arc. (He did practice on a “lefty shot” before, but that turned out to be a hoax and it was also never mentioned again after the Ubers match.)
And it’s funny because Isagi has no excuse to not do this.
Kaiser, whose kick speed already surpasses Noa’s, had the time to come up with a new shooting technique. He’s also a Talented Learner like Isagi, so if he can do it, why can’t our protagonist?
I’m all for Talented Learners winning against Geniuses through hard work because that’s objectively a good message to send… but there hasn’t been any hard work. It’s all just ego mind games right now. Isagi winning in such a scenario would be unfair and idealistic.
----
I’m gonna be honest with y’all, I’m very worried about how the BM vs PxG match will turn out. Blue Lock was what got me back to Tumblr and also what kept me alive through the depressive pandemic years. If the game ends with yet another Isagi win, I am going to be extremely disappointed because that would mean that the manga had completely turned into a powerscaling fantasy.
(If Ness manages to get any development in this match in spite of that, then I might still wanna stick around. But with only 2 chapters left to the end of the volume, hope is starting to feel elusive 😞)
But yeah… if Isagi wins (and there’s no Ness development as consolation), then I might just drop the manga 😞
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vgilantee · 6 months ago
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*kicks feet* hi again I am ready to learn about alphaSimon
tehehehe i am so in love with him and alpha simon is so important to me
first and most important, simon was born a beta but became an alpha because of his trauma. trauma literally alters their dna, so simon’s trauma and digging himself out of his own grave changed him so deeply his designation change from beta to alpha.
as a soldier, it makes him deadlier, faster, makes his instincts sharper. he turns from a man to ghost. other than that, until he has his pack of price, soap and gaz, it doesn’t really matter to him that he’s now an alpha. uses his new, more dominent scent when he needs to (which always has betas soap and gaz ready to present their ass and necks for him, horny fucks) but that’s. it.
then you come in to the fray. i haven’t decided how the pack meets slash gets their omega, but i do know the dynamic they have with simon
for starters, he starts really worrying about being a turned alpha instead of a born alpha. will you see him as lesser? will you be scared of him because he had to have come out the other side of something horrific to change? will you hold him at arms length because he isn’t a true alpha? the answer to all of those is no
he isn’t lesser at all. he is just as much an alpha, your alpha, as john is. and you remind him of that constantly. especially when running your fingers over the claiming mark you left on him. and because you’re an omega, you are more in tune with the minor differences of emotional states in scents, so as soon as you feel simon’s eyes on you and get a whiff of worry or insecurity, you are by his side holding his hand and kissing his cheek or arm.
i was talking with @glossysoap about this earlier today, but during aftercare, regardless of whether he’s in the scene or not, simon melts when you curl into him for warmth and safety. after sex you’re always very fucked out and satisfied, so your movements and sounds become instinct, not conscious. so when simon picks you up to carry you into the bathroom, ready to clean you up and give you a warm bath for your muscles, and you sigh, leaning in to him and smiling into his chest while leaving kisses and muttering something between a thank you and “i love you”? he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven.
of course john, gaz, and johnny all love him and trust him and see him as a pack alpha, in the betas’ cases their alpha. but they’re also soldiers, trusting each other to keep them alive during deployments and missions. it’s a rougher, different kind of trust. he still melts when a beta seeks him out for a cuddle or even just a quick kiss. but you’re both an omega, and not a soldier. you aren’t weak by any means. tough and strong and stubborn enough to wait him out and let you in, but you should be scared of him! he’s ghost! a man born a beta who should have died but came back an alpha instead, who has more blood on his hands than in his veins. and yet… and yet you curl in to him for safety, for warmth, for comfort. you are unafraid of moving his arms out of the way to curl up on his lap just to read and have his heartbeat by your ear.
johnny and gaz, of course have their lips pressed to his skin while reminding him that he is their alpha and they all chose him. john of course holds him close and reminds him that he is an alpha by his side, and john - the pack alpha - trusts him to keep the pack safe, always. so you aren’t the first person to take him by the cheeks, stubble underhand and kiss him while telling him “you’re an alpha, simon. my alpha”. but one more doesn’t hurt, especially not an omega who pleads with him to let him help you through your second heat
he doesn’t want to hurt you, never ever wants to give you a reason to hide away from him. but you tell him you don’t just want him, you need him. and it’s only right that the other alpha of the pack helps you through your second heat and claims you formally. so he agrees but is disgustingly gentle. so you have to draw first blood, and when you smile with those pretty doe eyes and blood in your mouth from digging those sharp little teeth into his bicep and all but growl out “fuck me properly, alpha.” he finally finally stops holding back
~✧
anyway i’m super normal about him as you can tell…
also if/when i finally write proper fics for this au, smut chapters will also have minor gore/blood warnings!
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago
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Hii i’m not sure if you’re taking requests or not but if you areeee
Can you write smth about Ford x reader where they obviously got a crush on each other (but they dont confess they’re shyly dumb) but the crush got bigger bc reader decides to peck Ford on the cheek as a “Thank you” bc he helped them with smth, yanno yanno :33
Ps: I really really love your writing waaa keep up the good work!!
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The crush you harbour on Ford and him on you was the least subtle thing ever, everyone could see the way you looked at each other as though the other hung the stars in the sky; you were both smitten kittens but were too scared to admit it for one reason or another.
You didn’t know when exactly you started having a crush on Ford, you merely assumed that was always the case ever since you met the man with the beautiful brown eyes, and you were perfectly content with that but what you weren’t content with was how everyone wanted you to confess.
‘He doesn’t like me like that, I’m not sure he likes anyone within a romantic aspect.’ You’d use as your excuse whenever anyone brings up the fact that you had yet to bear your heart to Ford.
‘Then you haven’t seen the way he looks at you.’ They’d respond and you could only look at them as though they’ve grown a second head. However they spoke the truth as Ford was equally as infatuated with you and would find himself pushing back the work he didn’t think required all his attention, all in favour of spending time with you whether it be star gazing or anomaly hunting.
Ford couldn’t remember the last time he felt light on his feet, head in the clouds and as though he was thirty years younger then he actually was and it was all thanks to you. While he wants to confess he found himself unable to do so when he looked into your eyes and found everything he could ever wish for within them; only to end up speechless as your eyes flickered with multiple emotions at once as he remained stood still as a statue, staring at you with a fondness within his eyes as you spoke random things to fill the silence.
This half attempts to confess -or lack there of an attempt- was enough to annoy the people close to you both as Stanley wants to put his head through a wall, Dipper vowed to himself to never be this bad and Mabel was on the verge of screaming at you both to kiss and get it over with at this point; the slow burn was killing her with how hesitant or chocked up you both become in each others presence.
They just wanted you two to cut the bullshit and start being a couple, solely just to make up for the months they’ve all have to suffer from seeing you both obviously pine for one another.
So currently you and Ford were looking for a so called ‘flying pig that may or may not be waddles parent or ancestor’ as Mabel had said to you both that very morning. So when Ford asked dipper if this was true, you swore you’ve never seen a boy sweat as much as Dipper did when he tried his hardest to convince you both that such a creature exists within the woods; you and Ford shared a look that spoke your unwillingness to believe, before agreeing to go out and look for this flying pig that may or may not be waddles’s ancestor.
‘Even if this flying pig is waddles’s ancestor, wouldn’t waddles also have wings by that logic?’ You asked.
‘Not necessarily my dear as the wings could be a hereditary trait that can skip multiple generations and appear in someone later down the line.’ Ford replied as he pushed up his glasses that were slipping down his nose, ‘however even I have to admit that this flying pig phenomena being real is slim to none despite everything else we’ve encountered here.’ He adds and you couldn’t help but laugh.
‘Then the billboard should read as this: Gravity falls, we’ve got everything to satisfy a diehard supernatural fanatic, just no flying pigs.’ You said in a goofy voice as you playfully nudge Ford in the side as he smiled softly, looking at you and feeling his heart become full; but before he could say anything a demonic squeal echoed throughout the forest causing you both to stop just as the birds stopped chirping.
Ford instinctively stood in front of you protectively as you tried to deduct where the blood curdling squeal came from. ‘What was that?’ You whispered my resting your chin on Ford’s shoulder as he reached for the gun at his hip upon instinct.
‘No clue dearest but I believe we might’ve found our anomaly.’ Ford replied lowly for only you to hear, only for the sound of wings beating filled your ears as a plump silhouette of a winged creature could be seen from a distance. You couldn’t help stop yourself from commenting ‘that could be a thousand things before it could be a flying pig-‘ just before you could finish the sentence the plump silhouette must’ve spotted you as it started flying towards you both at high speed; it was downright frighting.
‘FLYING PIG!’ You screamed the moment the figure got close enough to identify as both yourself and Ford ran began to run away from it as fast as your legs could carry you. ‘And here I thought Mabel had eating too much of that edible glitter and hallucinated.’ You added as Ford quickly took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers as he pulled you with him to hide behind a random tree, pulling you in close to his chest where you could hear his heart against your ear.
The demonic flying pig flew past you and it was them did you notice how massive those wings were for a creature that was of the same size of an average adult pig, but still it was scary to see a pig with teeth as sharp as razors; what was even more scary was the fact that pigs would eat anything and everything. You cuddled up closer to Ford instinctively as he held you close in order to comfort you. ‘It’s okay my dear, it’s gone now.’ He whispered against your head, kissing it as his hands rubbed up and down your back. ‘It must’ve gotten mad that we were within its territory and felt the need to scare us off.’
‘Well consider this officially scared off.’ You muttered against his turtlenecks finding the honest comfort and protection within his scent as you allowed it to invade your senses.
‘We’ll go back home and forget that we were almost flying pig food and watch some movies while drinking hot chocolate. How does that sound my dear?’ Ford asked and before his brain could comprehend what had happened, you had kissed his cheek and Ford felt his cheeks blossom with heat and his eyes widened.
‘That sounds perfect as long as I’m with you to do all of that of course.’ You replied softly as you looked at Ford with a soft, almost pleading expression and Ford felt his resolve crumble to dust as he averts his gaze from you.
‘I would love nothing more my dear.’ He admits and you were quick to clutch his hand in yours and drag him from your hiding place and begin your walk back to the shack, all the while keeping your wits about you in regards to one flying demon pig. ‘Then it’s a date!’ You exclaimed as you could hear Ford choke on nothing behind you, which only made you smile.
You’ll tell Mabel that you didn’t see a flying pig, but got a date out of trying to make up for the disappointment.
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madi-writes-things · 9 months ago
Text
Nobody Pt. 3
(C.Sturniolo X Reader)
Summary:
Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places
Word Count: 547
TW: Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Hurt Comfort, Crying, Death (sibling), Grippy Sock Mention, Not Edited
A/N: mostly a filler chapter, but it’s important backstory stuff. I also forgot to add the pictures to chapter two 🫣
-Madi <3
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as I started to wake up, I noticed a newly familiar presence on top of me. I open my eyes to see Chris, eyes closed and hair messy, lying with his head just below my sternum. In a moment of weakness I start playing with his hair. He stirs for a moment, before opening his blue eyes to look up at me.
“Good morning” his voice was scratchy with sleep. My heart fluttered and my face flushed. I tried to play it off by distracting myself with his hair. “You enjoying yourself?” He asks, forcing me to look at him.
“I actually am.” I tug on his hair lightly, causing him to groan. We both averted our eyes after that. “You just have such pretty hair…”
he looked at me again, this time feeling more serious. “Are you okay?” In general? No. About the nick stuff? No. About the fact that my best friends hot brother is in my bed? Definitely.
“it’ll be fine, nick will just have to get over it…. Speaking of nick, we should probably come up with a cohesive story.” I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t think nick would care enough to grill us about our relationship. “He already accused me of letting you lie about us sleeping together to cover up a different lie… which is true, but he can’t know that.”
“ok… we’ve been talking/dating for three months. We haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet, but we both want to. The other night was the first time we ever slept together… it was great.” He winked at me after adding the last word. “You know practically everything about me and my family… is there anything that I should know about you? In case nick asks me.”
I stare at Chris, contemplating whether or not I should tell him anything.
fuck it.
“you were… myfirsttime” I rushed the last part in the hopes that he wouldn’t hear it. He looked at me confused for a second before nodding for me to continue. “I used to have a twin brother, he died when we were in seventh grade… I never had a good relationship with my parents after that, and that’s one of the reasons that I changed schools at the beginning of eighth grade.” He immediately sat upright, staring down at me with a look that I couldn’t quite decipher.
“is that why you started…” his words trailed off as he looked down at my legs. I immediately felt ten times more aware of the fact that I was in shorts.
“yeah, I really struggled with it for that first year or so… after my parents caught me in the act they sent me to a hospital over the summer.” I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone seem this interested in me, or the things that I’ve been through. “They decided to move after that… small towns, gossip… but then I met you guys, and Nick helped me out a lot.”
“I’m sorry” it was simple, I almost told him not to apologize because it wasn’t his fault, but I knew that wasn’t what he meant. “Do you want to go pick something up for breakfast?” I quickly nodded, getting up and grabbing some clothes to change into.
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@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws
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