#I haven’t been able to make a single non work friend

[lurkingshan]

Dead Friend Forever is a Marvel of Mystery Writing

I haven’t been watching Dead Friend Forever live, because I am not always that into the slasher genre and I figured I would wait to hear whether it holds up before jumping in. I admit, I was a bit dubious about a drama sustaining a slasher narrative for 12 entire weeks and didn’t want to spend time on something that might be too shallow to sustain and would end up falling apart. I basically told bestie @wen-kexing-apologist to vet it for me and holler if I needed to start paying attention. And a few weeks ago, they started poking me with increasing intensity, along with a few other friends, because the writing was holding up better than they could believe. I started asking questions, and once @ginnymoonbeam mentioned that Sammon was the writer, it all started to click and I dove into a binge to catch up.

And they were right! This show is excellent, and its strength is sourced in an incredibly strong script from a writer who knows how to construct a longform mystery. Because it turns out, that’s what this show actually is. How do you sustain a slasher for 12 weeks? By embedding a deeper mystery within the slasher framework and pacing your story so that the entire middle delivers a backstory narrative that is even more compelling than the current events. This show is expertly structured to grab your attention and then get you deeply emotionally invested in the coming bloodbath, which is crucial for a slasher to feel like it has any stakes. Let me also note that the excellent writing here is supported by extremely smart direction and editing and some standout performances from young actors. I am going to focus on the writing here because that’s what I do, but it should be said that this whole production is all around excellent. 

So let’s talk about why the writing in Dead Friend Forever works so well! Great drama mysteries should support two kinds of engagement from the viewer: 

no thoughts head empty engagement from the people who just want to be pulled along for the ride and be constantly surprised

red string board theory engagement for the people who enjoy finding clues and trying to solve the mystery in advance. 

It’s actually really fucking hard to thread this needle as a writer, because it requires seeding strong enough clues that attentive viewers could reasonably guess some of the big reveals, but not giving away so much that you are unable to surprise them. A reveal in a good mystery should have you saying “oh my god WHAT” and “of course, that makes perfect sense” at the same time. And the best mysteries support the viewer being able to go back and rewatch, find new meaning they missed the first time, and realize every single thing that happened adds up. A tight mystery has no loose ends and no false steps; it never lies to the viewer, it only works to draw your attention where it wants it at any given point in the story.

Dead Friend Forever does this masterfully with several of its reveals, but I will highlight the biggest example: the reveal of Phee and Non’s relationship in episode 7. In the first four episodes of the show, the story lets us in on a few crucial facts: Phee is newer to this friend group (along with Tan and White), he was not present for whatever went down with Non three years ago, he has some kind of fucked up not!friends with benefits relationship with Jin that involves lots of sexual tension and dick biting, and he seems interested in figuring out what the hell happened once all these dudes start acting crazy about the videos. The string board theorists had enough to go on there to reasonably guess that he was intentionally trying to uncover the truth—but not why—and the no thoughts head empty crowd could just vibe, enjoying his scenes with Jin and wondering how exactly he ended up hooking up with him and getting involved with this group of people he doesn’t even seem to like.

Once we get to the backstory and see Non’s narrative, additional clues emerge, like the existence of both an older brother and a mysterious sweetheart that is only saved as [heart emoji] in Non’s phone. No thoughts head empty is over here going huh I wonder who they’re gonna be and hey when are the rest of the characters going to show up; string board theorists now have two clear options for how Phee could tie in to Non’s story and why he might care enough to investigate, but no one knows for sure. So when the show ended episode 6 with Phee running into Non’s room and began episode 7 with The Most Effective Five Minute BL Of All Time, everything clicked into place. No thoughts head empty got to experience a very pleasant shock moment, the string board theorists got to feel satisfied that they figured out at least part of the reveal, everyone got to enjoy an unexpected shot of romance in the middle of this stressful narrative, and there were still parts of Phee’s motives and involvement with this group that we didn’t understand and would require additional reveals. That is great mystery writing in a nutshell.

And it’s not only the mystery construction that makes the writing here so smart. It’s also the way Sammon is weaving in tons of social commentary, embedding Thai cultural and religious values, incorporating complicated crimes with lots of players in the mix that somehow don’t get confusing, and drawing complex and nuanced characters whose choices and behavior you understand even if you find them abhorrent. It’s not easy to make a viewer both despise a character and still care what happens to them; when you write a story about despicable people you run the risk of inspiring apathy in the audience, which is a death knell for a mystery. We have to be invested for this story to work. We have to feel deep empathy for Non to the point that we fully support axe murdering his bullies, but we also have to be interested enough in the bullies and why they behave the way they do to watch 12 weeks of them running around being awful to each other and harming everyone in their paths. And Non, too, gets to have real complexity. He is not a perfect little Mary Sue who never does anything wrong. He makes big impulsive mistakes, and seeks attention and affection from the wrong people, and lies to the ones he loves, and doesn’t always ask for help when he needs it. He is a flawed human being and that’s so important, because he is the center of this story and we need him to feel real.

In conclusion: holy shit. I tip my hat to you, Dr. Sammon, and I am very excited to be on this ride for the final four episodes. 

[wemustgatekeepwooyoung]

Don’t be a stranger, stranger.

synopsis: after being all closed up in the mole hole you call home for weeks, you decided, even though you declined your best friends’ (Choi San, Song Mingi) invitation some hours ago, to go out all by yourself for a drink. You in fact did not stay alone that night, as Jung Wooyoung, a complete stranger caught you in his eye. Two weeks after you still thought about the man that kissed you so nastily in the bar’s bathroom stalls and ,unluckily for you ,you did not have his number to repurchase anything. Unfortunately though, people are people and people know people so nobody’s a complete stranger in the end.

genre: romance (strangers to lovers?), fluff, smut, a bit of angst*

pairing: Jung Wooyoung (non idol) x Fem Reader

word count: 7,7k

content/warnings: *mentions of reader going through a tough period, pet names (dove,darling,beautiful,baby,lovebug...), alcohol consumption, switch!wooyoung/reader, oral sex (face riding-f receiving), bondage, sort of love confession?

author’s note: HELLO THERE! God this took me longer than I first expected, sorry about that! I had covid while writing most of it and I had to take a better look at it once I felt better :P I still am not sure if I like it, my friend made me post it as I kept ranting about it lol. Sorry again if there are any grammar mistakes as eng is not my first language! ALSO, as I posted some days ago already, I have many fic ideas that I haven't even started preparing yet. Truth is, I'm trying to get myself in uni, so it's exam season for me and I don't have the time nor the mental capacity to process anything. In addition, I won't be that active! Requests are still open and will probably stay open as it's a new challenge for me. Hope you enjoy this one, bye bye <3

“Oh come on Y/N! Stop fooling yourself by thinking that you’re having fun doing nothing all day and end up rotting in bed. You’re too pretty and young for that anyway. Come out with us instead! We’re best friends us three and we haven’t hang out for two full weeks for fuck’s sake ”

“Thanks Mingi but I’d rather rot in my own bed than be around anyone right now. Or at least around anyone I know and anyone that knows me. I get your frustration and I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make up for it to both you and San.”

“Okay, I won’t push you. I just hope this method you’re using is actually useful to you and that you don’t end up choking on your own misery again”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. Have fun and drive carefully okay?”

“Okay. See you around, hopefully” Mingi commented and you couldn’t help it but laugh at his temper.

“Okay, bye then”

“Bye!” he said in a charming voice and you hung up

You’ve been going through it all lately, absorbing pressure from everything. Work’s been shitty and you keep grieving for your unaccomplished goals in life. Your parents still making a fuss about you not being a responsible adult, which you of course are, at the age of twenty two! If you weren’t you wouldn’t have been able to survive alone in this reality.

It is what it is and that’s been your motto for the past… Wait, how long has it been since you last went out? You don’t have a single clue. Did Mingi say two full weeks? Shit. You really do need to charge your social battery.

But what will it be? Charging your social battery or relaxing in the comforts your beloved bed provides you with? ‘Why’s life so hard?’, you thought and then you felt stupid that you felt that way over a stupid dilemma.

You’ve always been like that though. Always the dramatic one. Even in your friendship with Song Mingi and Choi San all these years. You’re like their little mature baby, as they’re both two years older than you. But you being mature generally doesn’t mean that you won’t make your own life feel like a kdrama series and ,like Mingi said, choke on your own misery to feel something.

You really do need to feel something though. Something other than tiredness from overworking yourself, other than empathy for the wrong people and to top it off, something definitely other than this big bulge in your heart caused by loneliness.

Mingi was right. You do need to go out and clear your head a bit. Maybe you should give him a call, they’re probably still out at your usual spot.

It’s been two hours since you thought about going out and you’re still clenching on the possibility of you doing it, instead of actually doing it. Why’s it so hard for you anyway?! You used to be every party’s favourite party animal, along with the other two of course. But why’s it so hard now? Is it because it’s late or because you’re just too bored to even get up?

And then, right when you thought that you’d never get up, you started missing it’s taste on your tongue. All you need right now is a very serious and dirty Martini. It’s just what will do the job perfectly and hopefully help you get yourself off.

So, now looking like a 90s elegant goddess with your plump lips, your slightly curly hair and your silky black dress, you called a cab and decided to be a bit extra with everything.

The bar you wanted to sit at is a bit too wild today but you won’t let that ruin your night as you already made too many compromises with yourself to get here. So, what you did was wander around in Seoul's streets for some time, searching for a new promising spot. The music was what led you to this specific one that you decided to enter right away.

After doing so, everyone started checking you out immediately. That didn’t annoy you one bit ,as it would normally, even though you absolutely hate those horndogs living around you. That’s probably because all your remaining mind space is covered with images of your order ready to be swallowed right in front of you.

Isn’t your lust for alcohol kind of sexual? Is our little dove horny other than lonely, or is it that your horniness was beclouded by the banner of ‘loneliness’ from the start? Damn, you really want to get dicked down, don’t you?

“Move! Let the lady sit!” a drunk man shouted and emptied a barstool for you to sit on, even though the one beside it was already unoccupied.

You thanked him with a smile and turned over to the barman that was already checking you out by the moment your eyes met his.

“What can I get you sunshine?”

“I’m not sure about the sunshine part, but I’d really like a Martini.”

“What kind?” he tried to specify as there are indeed many ways to enjoy a Martini.

“Well, there’s only one option to meet up with such hour’s demands, right?”

“Dirty it is then” he understood your statement and began the process of preparing it for you.

During that one minute that made up your order’s preparation time, you took your chance and started browsing the place. You never thought you’d ever visit a place like this in Seoul. It’s classy and really close to your taste in hang-out spots. It’s a nice jazz bar, filled with people your age and older dancing around, laughing, cheering and making toasts on their future which is something you and your two best friends always do.

You’ve missed them but you know they totally understand that where you stand now is only temporary. They both really respect and trust you and that’s two things that you can feel for certain when you’re with them.

But now is the time to relax and enjoy your time alone without having to rot in bed, exactly like Mingi said on the phone earlier. It’s your time to shine like the brightest color in this bar, just you and the company of your tasty dirty little friend.

“Here you go beautiful. Your beloved Martini’s on the guy over- Where’d he-“ the barman claimed and started looking for the man that spent money on your drink

Not even five seconds later, the barstool next to you got occupied by this stunning man and his sexy eyebrow piercing. He fixed his leather jacket and smiled at the barman before turning to look at you.

“Your drink and all the possible following are on me. Hope I didn’t scare ya”

“You didn't scare me at all. Thanks for the offer, I’m having this one today and no other.”

“Whatever pleases you” he said and took a delicate sip from his glass, what looks like to contain plain whiskey. Hot. “I liked the choice you made with it” he said and gave your glass a look-over.

“Really? I think it’s pretty ordinary”

“You can never go wrong with ordinary, right?”

“That’s right!...”

“You’re making it seem rare though cause I haven’t seen the combination of a good dirty martini and a pretty girl like you here before”

He does have a way with words, you can give him that. And he’s gorgeous too. His features are elegant and precise, just how you like it. He might even be the prettiest guy you’ve ever talked to, objectively speaking.

Maybe that's because of the bar’s lighting choice that seems to expose the uniqueness of his nose and the brightness of the sparkle in his cute button eyes. Or maybe it’s his charming smile that makes everything else feel blurry in this tight space you’re sitting and enjoying your night out.

“Well, you’re right. I haven’t been here before and dare I say I’ll surely come again.”

“How come? Your aura fits this place perfectly”

“My what? Can’t hear you well sorry!” you said and made him chuckle softly

Your heart almost skipped a beat by how close to you he got so that he made sure you heard him the second time.

“Your aura darling.”

“Oh! What about it?”

“It’s catchy” he said and made a cute little shake with his hands

“Catchy?” you wondered almost bursting in laughter after repeating his exact movement

“Yeah, you caught my eye from all the way back there and I can't even see that well without my glasses. You're glowing” he bluntly confessed and increased the tension in your eye contact.

''Do you say this to every girl you meet?''

''Almost, yeah. But the aura thing is the new adaptation I made just now on my usual script'' he affirmed your point and readjusted his sunglasses to hold back his front hair strands better

''Tell me about the next victim's reaction to it when you have it proposed for the first time, yeah?''

''So, you want to meet again?'' he asked and made you laugh while you were swallowing the slightly bitter sip you took from your drink

''I can’t say that that confidently but it depends.”

''On what?'' he asked and leaned closer to you, his elbow flat on the counter and his hand balancing the weight of his head.

''On how quickly you get me on my last nerve''

''And what if I manage not to?''

''Then we'll both enjoy our time together. Perhaps.''

''Sounds good to me! So, tell me more about you.''

''What is it that you want to know, Mr.-''

''It's Wooyoung''

''Fine.'' you said with a sigh, '' What is it that you want to know Mr. Wooyoung?''

''Just Wooyoung is fine. You didn't tell me your name though''

''I'll think about telling you when I assure your business with me, is that okay?''

''Sure thing, whatever has you feeling more comfortable''

''Right... So what'd you wanna know? If you don't answer this time either, I'm going to assume it was about getting my name on your list''

''That was one part of it but there is also another. Are you waiting for somebody?''

''No, luckily for you and unluckily for me that just wanted to enjoy my Martini alone, I'm not waiting and don't need to wait for anybody''

''Okay, I shall leave you alone then-'' he said confidently and stood up, ready to actually respect your solo night out, an action which made you see your interest in him clearer.

''Shouldn't you test my patience first since you took your chance already? Unless you want to give up on me that easily'' you suggested like you were pitying him but instead you were pitying your desperately horny self.

He smiled and sat back down before removing his jacket, all left with a plain black t-shirt covering his muscular torso. Once he carefully hang it on the side rail of his chair, you noticed the exposed and veiny skin on his arms. Shit, who is this man and how is he so good looking? Are you seriously thirsting over a stranger? Since when could you not resist your touch deprivation nor your imagination?

You closed your eyes and shook your head negatively, trying to control your hormones and hopefully shake them off too. You must not fuck with someone that you met just this night, you know that's not you! But you can't help but want to, I mean, who would judge you? Mingi and San would probably agree with you on the matter of Wooyoung being the most fuckable man you've ever held a conversation with. But holding just a convo with him isn't enough for you right now. You want him to hold you against the wall and ruin you like the little slut you are. You don't want to know about him nor him to know anything about you. Fuck actual words, you just want to speak in body language. What you also don't want on the other hand, is him getting your comfirmation to 'hit it' right away. You want to test him.

''Am I getting to you?''

''I wouldn't say that. I'm a hard person to please'' you said and you did not lie. You are a very hard person to please. Mingi and San have arranged several dates for you these past two weeks just to get you off your mind and finally out of your house. Numerous guys are head over heels for you but you always refuse the deal or never show up. And now? What the heck is happening to you now? Why's this random guy, Wooyoung, and his pretty little mole under his left eye so irresistible?

''Then guide me through it''

Oh he definetly knows what he's doing and you're letting him. Girl get your shit together and go play bunnies already. Besides from letting him, you're also making it clear that you're enjoying his boldness, even if that boldness has a taste of indirection in it, making the whole situation ironic. You're both dirty talking at this point but choose to go sideways. Maybe you like the tease and the slowburn, what can one say!?

''Why? Aren't you confident in your own skills?''

''You think I have skills?''

''I never said that but I don't doubt it either. I'm a physical learner''

''I thought so''

''So glad we're both making assumptions about each other in these fifteen minutes of talking.'' you said and took another sip of your martini

''Mhm, glad we're mutually glad about the thing you said you're glad about. Moreover, I have an interesting ,I'd say, proposal to make.''

''What could that be?'' you asked while staring at the ceilling, mocking Wooyoung that way. The familiar sound of his laughter followed your mockery and made you look at him, somewhat invested.

''It involves us two, voicing our assumptions out loud''

''Where?'' you clearly misunderstood what he had just said, lost in your own dirty thoughts.

A devilish smile was formed on his face, along with an eyebrow raise and a slight head tilt.

''Wow sugar, I thought you being hard to please would make this take longer but if you insist-''

''I didn't insist pfff- what was it again? Your name?''

''Wooyoung''

''Oh right that's the one! You think you have a way of getting things go your way but you're not the only brat in this bar, there's another one sitting right in front of you''

''Hm, someone will have to back down sooner or later though, won't he?''

''You're right on the male pronoun. I'm not familiar with backing down''

''What about bending down? Are you familiar with that?''

''Let's not go down that path right away. You haven't even finished your whiskey yet'' you teased and in just a blink of an eye, the remaining whiskey in his glass was consumed. He drank it all at once with a big swallow making his eyes tear a bit. Cute, you thought. He's as desperate for some pussy as you are for him to fuck you. That makes the situation more ideal and fair than it was before.

''Okay. What's the first assumption you made about me?'' he asked with a grin on his face, still wanting to give you the message that he's the one in charge of the wheel

''Hm, let's see. If I consider the fact that you're confident, a natural entertainer and that you value freedom and can’t stand being tied down, I'd assume and I think I'm rather correct, that you're a Sagittarius'' you said and ate the olive that had been soaking in your drink for so long without breaking eye contact

He got shy and scrached his nape in shock.

''You're right about all of it. Almost all of it”

''Oh my! Are you a Taurus?''

''No, you made no mistake in the zodiac part.''

''Then where was I in error?''

''Your error was found in the false fact considering me not enjoying being tied down''

''Oh c'mon! Do you really have to make everything sexual?''

''What can I say sweetheart, it's in my nature! And I think that's another thing we share''

''Maybe we do, I guess we won't be finding out soon as it's your turn to bring your first assumption about me to the table''

''I knew you'd like this game! Kinky. Mine was not as clever as yours was, I guess it was filled with more realism than cleverness. You see, what I assumed of you when I first saw your pretty figure from all the way back there, was that you surely had a partner. I still can't get my head wrapped around the fact that you're single''

''Single by choice!'' you exclaimed, surprising yourself

''I don't want to push you into saying something really personal. I'm sure you have your reasons to have acted this way. I'm also sure that there's also a reason behind you not wanting to get to know me personally, cause you haven't asked me a single question about myself yet. Again, there's no pressure, I'm really enjoying your company and our time together, we don't need to have it continue if you don't want to''

Damn. Did this man really figure your emotions out after knowing you for so little and with no content of you and your life at all? And that's when you realised... This is all you've been searching for since the night started! Someone to make the effort to understand you and actually do. What a miracle he is, truly. Is he majoring in psychology maybe? Are you suddently into getting to know more about him and his personal life or is one tripping?

''Another assumption I had about you was that you are a player and that you enjoy wilding out with random girls at bars. I don't think that's true anymore. What are you actually like Woo?'' you finally decided to be open about your interest in him and ask him a direct and personal question. You acting bratty-like isn't fit for all circumstances anyway.

His face lit up and he let out a big sigh that turned out forming into a loud chuckle.

''I'm honored by your question, really. I'm a simple guy, I enjoy making people laugh and I also love dancing''

''Do you make people laugh with your dance moves?'' you joked and he teased you by touching your nose gently

''You'd be surprised by my moves. Everyone loves Jung Wooyoung, the sexy performer.''

''I'll have to assess that myself, can't trust other people's opinions''

''Agreed, I'd also like to know about your opinion on 'em''

''Then what are you waiting for? Show me”

''Right now? I too had a question to ask y’know!''

''Save it for later then'' you said, implying that you're down for a 'get together' after today's night is over.

He smirked in understandment, got up, looked at you like he was about to devour you any moment and grabbed your hand. You laughed as he made you run your way to the bathroom stalls, making it easy for you to comprehend how badly he wanted you.

Once you reached the bathroom's doorstep and crossed it's border, he placed his hands directly on your hips and pushed a door open before attacking your lips.

Oh my! He's nasty! He surely know his ways around a woman and you're not God's strongest soldier. Of course you're mad he's stolen the wheel right from your claim, but his kisses have you so weak that you might as well let him keep it. You want him to keep it.

Another thing about him that you're now experiencing for the first time, is that him being bold is also shown in his sexual interactions. He's not shy to envelop the whole room with his filthy sounds and you absolutely love the melody they produce in conjunction with yours.

His embrace on your hips started to tighten before he reached his left hand behind and to lock the door. You broke the kiss to catch your breaths and both smiled while having your foreheads connected.

''May I?'' he asked while holding onto both your dress' shoulder straps. You nodded in agreement and he pushed them down right away, exposing your bare tits and having your dress fall on the ground, leaving you just with your pretty panties.

''Love the no bra look'' he joked and started to squeeze them, bringing your own beautiful moans on stage for him to welcome

''Slow down they'll hear us''

''Is there anyone you know out there?''

''No''

''Anyone you care about perhaps?''

''No''

''Then let's give them the concert of their lives baby, what do you say?'' he said and pinched your nipple, causing your volume to rise a couple of scales.

He pushed you further into the stall so that you were all helplessly stuck in it's corner, pressing onto you even more while sucking hard on your already aroused nipples. He got all the assurance he wanted by the way you told him how good it was in between your vocal escapisms. He then reached for your lower pleasure-seeking parts, therefore you felt his fingers trace your wet cunt above your soaked panties.

''I knew I got you good'' he said making you roll your eyes in disbelief of his still increasing confidence.

The worst part is that he has every right being confident, even on such a level. Nobody's ever made you that sexually frustrated before. It might just be that you possibly are under the Martini's spell ,but c’mon now, lying to yourself won’t work again.

You’re under Wooyoung's spell and you know it without minding at all, nor wanting him to stop. You're actually glad it's him and not some dude San and Mingi tried to hook you up with. And why is that? Because even though you trust them, you know that there's no other better judge of people than you. You were hesitant at first but now here you are not wanting to hesitate no more and wanting him to totally unravel you.

He rubbed steady circles on your clit, making it hard for you to hold still on your own. You wrapped one arm around his nape, pulling on his hair a bit, while the other slipped under his black t-shirt wanting to finally feel his muscles.

You both moaned, you on the feeling of his soft skin and his fingers pressing you harder down there and him with the way your pretty hands traced down his torso and went over to his waistline, ready to unbuckle his belt single handedly.

With a quick motion, he stopped everything he was doing and trapped both your hands momentarily in order to stop your incoming action. You looked at him full of confusion and his face got serious. He began to unbuckle his belt on his own, wrapped it around his hands and tightened it with his teeth. Finally, he sat down on the floor, head falling back on the toilet's closed seat.

He looks so pretty and slutty that you want to take a picture and keep it among your most precious jewelry. You smiled and put your hair behind your ears before bursting into laughter.

''What a good boy you are all tied up and sweeping the floor with your clothed ass! What for?''

''Sit on my face baby. Please''

Hold on. Have the tables turned already? Anyone would think that that's the case, he's begging for you to choke him with your pussy lips after all, how can it not be that?

''Please baby I need to taste you. Sit on it'' he repeated, looking absolutely stunning with his hands tied up like this and with the veins on his neck and arms becoming even more visible.

How could you say no to that nose? You absolutely adore that nose. You might as well have fallen deeply in love with it and the way it hits your clit while he sucks all your wetness off before reproducing it.

''Oh my god Wooyoung! Don't stop! So good-'' you managed to make up your sentence in between your loud moans and trying not to crush him under you, even though that's what he wants most.

His erection cannot be denied any longer if it ever could have been to begin with. His dick's so hard that it's now noticable ,not just on it's own but also by the way Woo's making slow and passionate thrusts in plain air.

It doesn't seem to cause a problem though, as his main goal is for you to cum on his face, tremble around him and choke him with your wet thighs that he so desperately wants to lay slaps on. Too bad he didn't think about it when he was tying himself up like the poor rope bunny he is.

Once he stopped tongue fucking you for a moment to catch his breath, you wrapped your fingers tightly on his hair and repositioned him, causing his glasses to fall from his head.

You're grinding on him, completely out of this world. His high pitched moans, his warm breath beneath you and his kitten licks while you're getting yourself off on him by rocking your hips in a slow and passionate rhythm, sends shivers down your spine and makes Wooyoung see stars. He's about to cum in his pants, untouched, just completely pussy drunk.

He didn't want to cum alone though, he wanted to share the experience, so he sped up the pace of his tongue on your clit. Your grip on his hair tightened, giving him the confirmation he needed that you were so close to finally letting go and reaching your highest with the stranger that paid for your Martini.

And that confirmation became a happening, an explosive one to be more precise. He twitched in his pants as you painted his ethereal face with your sweet liquids he so enjoyed devouring these past few minutes. You were both so high on pleasure that you didn't even notice the barman knocking on your bathroom stall's door.

''Hey there lovebirds, sorry to interrupt but the cops are to arrive soon due to the music being too loud apparently. I'll have to call it a night before they get here so-'' he said and placed Wooyoung's jacket on the door handle from outside ''Goodnight''

And on that note, he left and went back to his post. You looked at each other, both breathless, fucked up and dizzy.

Once you almost stabilized your system, you helped him up and freed him from his own enslavement. In return, he slapped your ass instinctively as you bent down to pick your dress.

''Holy fuck, I wanted to do that for some time now''

''Too bad you tied yourself, even though it was a pretty good sight''

''Glad you enjoyed it'' he said and smiled while helping you put your dress on.

When you crossed the bathroom's border for the second and last time this night, the barman blinked at the sight of you two and started applauding before waving goodbye. You bowed in reply and left the bar with Wooyoung accompanying you, contrary to how you first got there.

''So, I still got those questions I have to get answers out of you.''

''Yeah, I want to think of some questions to ask you too''

''I'll treat you to dinner, what do you say?'' he proposed, eyes focused on your lips again.

''I'd rather we prepared it together at my place. I'll send you the address''

''Yeah that sounds more convenient. See you around then beautiful'' he added his final line of the night and pecked your lips goodbye. “WAIT” he shouted abruptly breaking the street’s silence which almost made you piss yourself.

“Yeah?”

“What’s your name?”

“Oh. You’re right. It’s Y/N!”

“Okay! Goodnight Y/N”

“Goodnight Wooyoung.''

...

When you reached your appartment, it was like reality struck you down again. When you were accompanied by Wooyoung, all your problems seemed to have had drifted away.

“But now, looking back on the mountain of cigarette butts on my ashtray, I’m reminded that I can’t just keep avoiding all my problems. Instead, I have to take action and face them somehow. That’s what I’ll do starting from tomorrow!” you proudly announced and placed yet another such butt on that mountain.

“Good for you! But now that you’ve got all that figured out, will you finally let me, your favorite mountain, take some rest? It’s 5 a.m, how are you that energetic?” San let out his frustration in between sighs, since you woke him up just to state your philosophical thoughts on how life basically works.

“I’ll tell you another time. Goodnight sleepyhead, see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that might happen if you stop clenching on your door handle”

“I will dummy, don’t worry. Sleep well” you said and he hung up without saying anything. You’re happy he even did you the favor and answered so you don’t mind at all. You need to get some sleep as well. It’s not an easy trip visiting and returning back from your highest point, heaven, anyway.

…

“Did your hair get longer?” Mingi looked at you surprised before sitting back down on his chair and handed your coffees over to you and San.

“Oh stop it you! Just because you haven’t seen me for a month doesn’t mean I changed that much!- Did I though? Is it bad?!”

“No, you’re the same small baby we love and cherish” San said and squeezed your cheek

“The same small SHITTY baby you mean” Mingi added in between coughs and received a death stare by San

“So… Any news?” San broke the ice and both you and Mingi laughed. For different reasons but you still laughed.

“How could she have any news to present when she was rotting in bed all day, going out only to empty her trashcan?”

“Actually… I’d like to talk about a certain topic…”

“Does it have to do with what you told me that night on the phone?” San remembered the conversation you had held two weeks ago, the night you last saw him.

It pains you and it’s been fucking your mood up for the past two weeks that you’ve had no contact at all. How could you have had any though, he didn’t even ask for your number! You really fooled yourself thinking you had saved it somewhere, that’s why you proposed dinner at your place that day. But he never tried sneaking it in your purse nor simply giving it to you directly.

You’ve been devastated and you couldn’t search for him as you don’t even know his last name. There were zero possibilities of you finding him and you thought that talking it through with your two favourite people would help you develop your new coping mechanism.

“Sort of”

“Are you going to fill me in? I have no idea what you’re talking about” Mingi said and took a disguising sip from his coffee cup, sharing a very loud noise with everyone sitting at the coffeeshop.

“Alright, remember that night you wanted to fuck that red head and then you found out that she was a lesbian?” San explained the timeline to Mingi based on their side of the story and Mingi nodded so that San would continue “Well, Y/N called me in the middle of that same night and woke me up to tell me about her remarkable life philosophies!”

“Wow! Y/N, I hate to break it to you but that that philosophical outburst wasn’t your ‘mc moment’. We all have those from time to time”

“Guys, my life philosophies are not what I want to talk to you about! Something else happened that night! Someone, to be completely honest”

“DID YOU CALL YOUR EX AGAIN?” they both shouted and stood up, forgetting about the fact that you’re having this conversation in public.

“Calm down! I did not call anyone. That’s the problem. I didn’t get his number”

“Whose number?! Do you have an imaginary boyfriend again? Are you in need of a prescription? Did loneliness turn you completely mad?!” Mingi asked angry and worried to the core but he didn’t even let you explain!

“Gosh Mingi, will you shut up and let me tell you about it?! If you want to be angry then go be angry by yourself, San will listen”

“San always listens” San said with a complaint hiding behind his wide smile

“Okay, go on. I will zip it”

“So, after I cancelled on you guys, I decided to go out by myself and I fucked this guy-“

“YOU FUCKED A GUY?!”

“She’s not a lesbian San, not everyone’s a lesbian. Only the girls I like apparently. Go on little one, I’m invested in your gossip”

You let a small sigh and got caught off guard by the waitress picking up your ashtray and emptying it in the plastic bag she was holding. You gave her a soft smile and when you turned back to look at your friends to continue your speech, you were greeted by a so greatly-missed choice of styling.

Fuck, you missed that eyebrow piercing so much as if it is your alleged husband coming back home from the military. He was already hugging San when you caught your eye on him. Thus, he had exceeded your notice on him right away, wasting no time to stare at you with that beautiful smile you rode like a total slut two weeks ago.

He was wearing the shop’s uniform and had his long hair tied in a small low ponytail, his strands falling in front of his face causing a problem for him again. Too bad he doesn’t have his glasses to hold them behind this time.You laughed at the plot line of your thoughts, catching all three’s attention. You two broke contact only to just reconnect it even stronger than it was before. The other two took turns in towards who to look at.

With a deep shy and some steps to get closer to you, he decided to speak up.

“How’s the coffee?”

“Tasty” you affirmed his currently questioning disposition “Did you make it?”

“That’s right. I would’ve been more artistic in it’s making if I knew that you’d be the one having it.”

“That’s okay, just the fact that you took the energy to make it does the job for me”

“Glad you’re enjoying it” he teasingly said, repeating his own words that had you stunned that night, right after his face riding session. On that note, he turned around and went back inside as his duties as a humanised coffee machine are calling him.

San and Mingi’s jaws were dropped on the floor because they could feel you two’s tension, without being updated on the context yet.

“Y/N honey, can you explain one thing to me?” Mingi’s face got all serious as he placed both hands on the table “How do you and my beloved mate Jung Wooyoung know each other?”

That's it! That’s His full name!

“Well… I kinda sat on his face two weeks ago in that bar’s bathroom stall...” you said bluntly and San’s laugh could probably be heard from really far away

“Of course you did” Mingi said trying to cope with this amusing new information he just received

“Well, I would too. Never had the chance to” San supported your horniness’ random spike, receiving wide stares from you and your other bestie because of it “What? I’m just being honest, he’s always been hot. So what now? What are you thinking of doing now?”

“Well, I don’t know.”

“Go ask him to fuck during his break time. He’ll be more than pleased to”

“What? Why’d you think I’d want to fuck him again Mr. Song? And why now of all times?”

“Well, I talked about both of you, not just about you Y/N. You two seemed like you were ready to ruin each other right in front of us, right San?”

“That’s right” San added and crossed his legs “You have to get his number this time”

“I can’t just go and disturb him while he’s working to ask for his number! Besides, I’m sure you two can just give it to me. He’s your friend, isn’t he?”

“No. You’re not having it that easy! I’m sure he’ll give it to you without question. Just go and take it!”

“San, I haven’t seen him in two weeks and we were both drunk that night. We had just met too! It’ll look weird if I just go and ask for his number”

“So you riding his face with the view of a fucking bathroom stall isn’t weird? You passed through that phase I’m sure you can pass this one too and go fuck somewhere. Moreover, it’ll be a chance to get you out of your dump again” Mingi played dirty with that one

“Agreed.”

“Fuck stop getting me unnumbered guys!”

“What can I say, it’s duty calling us to help you get your shit together. Go claim your man before anyone else does” Mingi said and put his jacket on

You looked at San but he just gave you a little supportive push towards the door. You can’t go back now and lose this opportunity right? It’s the moment you’ve been looking forward to happening. He’s right here and you can use it to your advantage! What could possibly go wrong?

You’re just stressing over the possibility of him not have given you his number on purpose that day. Cause, how could he forget? How could he forget after leading you on so well? Were his intentions simply for a ‘one night stand’? Why’d he ensure you continuity though?

Nah, he’s not having it. You deserve an explanation, a really good one. He can’t just go and hit on you on a random Saturday, grab his portion and then not pay the deserved way.

With that on your mind, you walked towards him, watching his every move carefully as you approached his aspect.

“Missed me?” he said without even looking at you. He just so gently wiped a cup dry, your eyes focused on his grip.

Unbelievable. You’re unbelievable, so desperate for his attention that it’s making you angry. ‘He’s just another man, get your shit together Y/N’, you thought to yourself. But is he just ‘another man’ to you?

“Won’t you say anything? Not gonna ask me how I’ve been?”

“There’d be no reason to do that If you’d given me your number!” you mumbled

“What was that?” he said and finally did you the favour to look into your eyes

He completely melted in those five seconds of eye contact. He was ready to leave everything behind, grab your hand and go spend time with you, anywhere you told him to. But you, you were taken over by anger. You could feel the frustration caused by his absence drive you insane. You wanted to slap him for being so unbothered but you knew that’d turn both of you on. So what can you do?

“Huh?” he asked again as you seemed distracted and forgot to reply to his question or rather chose not to.

“Oh forget it Wooyoung. Good day” you said and sprang out of the cafeteria

Right when the air hit your hair, Mingi and San knew by the look on your face that something didn’t go according to plan. They ran after you only to be greeted goodbye as all you wanted then was to be alone and try to ‘fix yourself’ as you said.

You’re disappointed. Totally disappointed. Why? Oh, the answer’s simple. It’s that you should’ve accepted the fact that the acting in a movie is still acting, no matter how real it comes out. It’s not really life. So, what felt like a movie to you that night was fake from the start.

Hypocrisy was what bonded you and Jung Wooyoung together in your little head. What you do want is was felt real but isn’t. He was never really interested in getting to know you, he didn’t even look at you until you seemed frustrated! He just asked all these questions that day to light up the mood, that’s why he was sexualising everything. Wouldn’t he want to look at you if he’d truly missed you? You were the one who couldn’t take your eyes off of him, how could he not put the slightest effort after declaring his statement that time, that including him being so into you?

‘It’s just another man, you’ll be fine’, you thought to yourself again. On the other hand, there’s still this other part of you in your little head that keeps telling you to go back and ask him straight away, ‘Did you just want to have it served to you once and never again?’ but you won’t be doing that. Your ego’s too high to go this low with your actions.

You began to walk faster than before as you slapped yourself hard enough with your thoughts to want to have them erased.

You can’t believe it. How could he? No, the true question is ‘How could you Y/N?’. How could you let yet another man play with your feelings when you knew his intentions from the start? This one’s different. No, all he wanted was to get his portion and leave the rest to the table to rot. Fuck, how could I’ve been so stupid?

Footsteps and footsteps and footsteps and footsteps and-

“Fuck, why’d you run off like that? Do you not care about my lungs nor our situation at all??” he asked with his hand on your shoulder, breathless and with sweat dripping down his forehead.

You removed his hand from your shoulder and you turned around to do what you’ve been doing for the past five minutes, walking and avoiding your feelings.

“Oh c’mon Y/N! Are you really that apathetic?”

“Sorry? I was right there, you didn’t even look at me once and I’m the one called out for being apathetic? Please-“ you said and tried to walk away again before he sprang in front of you, stoping your motion “Will you please stop whatever you’re doing? Stop acting like you care so much to the point that you’ll get yourself in trouble, cause you don’t “

“How’d you come to that conclusion?”

“You’ve made it very clear Woo. You didn’t try to keep in touch, you just wanted your dose and that’s where you put your period when you got it.“

“I didn’t get my dose though”

“Oh, I see. Let’s blame the neighbours for calling the cops and interruptinh our private session now, that’s all we have left to blame and do anyway”

“No, we haven’t done everything yet. I haven’t asked you what I meant to ask you. That’s why I ran all this way, putting myself in trouble for doing so. I might lose my job for this but I don’t care. But for you, I do care. So, why’d you not give me your number since I didn’t? That’s the real question”

He’s got a great point there. Not once did you think about it, why’d you not do it? Were you scared? Were you humiliated? Were you anxious? Were you-

“I simply thought we’d exchanged it already”

“So how could you have the right to forget about it and forget about me so easily? I went mad all these days, waiting for you, at the bar. You never showed up. Why’d you not show up?”

You then could recognise the purity in his eyes that you fell in love with that night. That excessive desperation that made your insides tangle. You know you fell hard for him, that’s why you let it slide, that’s why he’s not in fact ‘just another man’ to you. How could one be mad at him?

“I don’t know… After thinking I’d never see you again, I got closed up in my house once more. I didn’t want to go out and meet someone else. I didn’t want to meet anyone to be completely honest.”

“You shouldn’t do that! You’re too pretty to be hiding yourself in there. It’s also unhealthy.“ he said and made you smile, finally. He looks so proud and relaxed, like he was waiting for this moment. Just seeing you smile felt like the sun finally showing up after being hidden in the clouds. In other words, you’re that small sparkle that brightened his shitty day. It worked as a confirmation for him, your smile, as he understood how much you actually lovestruck him.

“So it wasn’t just a ‘one time thing’ for you?”

“Do you think I’d sweat that much If it was just a ‘one time thing’ for me? My legs don’t work well, fuck, I have to exercise more frequently” and yet came another laugh that sounded like melody to his ears “Oh, by the way- This is for you” he said and put a small and cutely folded paper in your back pocket.

What a tease he truly is and how you love it.

“Was that our receipt?” you teased back while approaching him closer than you already were.

“It’s a surprise. I’ll tell you about it when we have that cooking session we talked about yeah?”

“Okay, I’ll call you. I promise.” you said as you knew exactly what that little billet doux contained.

“Okay lovebug, I’ll be waiting” he said and let himself completely loose once he felt your touch on his cheek, before your lips met in a tender kiss.

He really can’t control himself around you. Same problem as on your first encounter. He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, not seeming like he wanted to let go.

“I’m so glad I found you again Y/N. Would you have came to the bar to find me? Did you think about it?”

“I did but didn’t have the courage to. I’d probably meet you through Mingi and San though someday. I wish I knew sooner so that I’d keep in touch”

“Yeah, but we will now!”

“That’s right but for now, you need to go back. You’ll lose your job”

“Shit, I totally forgot about that.” he said and panicked. You smiled as he kissed your hand after hugging you. “So… I’ll be going now okay?”

“Of course.” you replied and waved him goodbye, him too.

You got lost in your own thoughts again, which this time were formed with his not probable urges. Your mindset is now set in a new theme, under the name ‘Jung Wooyoung’. Wow, you really are a lucky girl.

“Don’t be a stranger, stranger!” he shouted, blowed you kisses from afar and began to run towards the cafeteria’s direction.

[pipsipey17]

love and literature | chapter 3: bad kind of butterflies.

professor!natasha romanoff x college student!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

summary: some unexpected news from your sister.

contains: just some tension ig

previous chapter | next chapter

It has already been a month since you have been living with Natasha on the same roof and a lot of adjustments have been made, not only at home but also at school. Some of them were fine but the rest of them annoyed the hell out of you.

You hate her that was certain, but you have been feeling things for her whenever the two of you had interactions with each other. Whether they were good or bad. You knew it was wrong and weird but you fantasized about kissing her

“You coming Y/N?” Wanda asked as you were walking to your next class along with Pietro, Peter and Carol.

Pietro is Wanda’s twin brother and you have the same classes with him in almost every single subject except for Russian Literature that’s why you have been friends with him too.

Well for Peter, you and him have been lab partners since freshman year and he has been a huge help for you when it came to Science. He is definitely a Science geek but he means well.

As for Carol, apparently has had a thing for you since you started playing for the volleyball team of the university. She’s a beautiful blonde, has a bold yet great personality and is even the captain of the cheerleading team.

You decided to give it a shot, even though you already told her that you don’t take relationships that seriously. She agreed saying that she’s willing to risk it and that she might even change that for you. And now, you have just been letting the relationship take its course and see where it will take you.

“You know I can’t Wanda, ever since Natasha moved in I haven’t been able to go out after school because I apparently have to ride home with her.” You replied with a hint of disappointment and annoyance in your voice.

This was one of the adjustments that annoyed you, since Natasha brings her car to school everyday, your sister told you that you can just ride home with her. Except for the days that you have student council work to do or you have volleyball training cause you go home later than usual. You couldn’t even stay in one room together without you feeling a bit angry or annoyed at her, let alone a car ride home with her even though it’s only a 30 minute car ride.

“Oh come on baby, it’s the weekend tomorrow, why don’t you text your sister that you’re going out later and see how that goes.” Carol said as she placed her arm around your waist.

Wanda rubbed her temple and said, “I swear, Professor Romanoff isn’t even your sister and yet she acts like one more than Maria.”

“She’s more like a babysitter in my opinion.” Pietro snickered, making Wanda roll her eyes at her twin brother.

You started typing your text message to Maria and a few seconds later you hit send. Your sister immediately read the text message and replied with, “Alright, just don’t be home too late.”

“So?” Wanda asked as she heard the sound from your phone.

“She said yes.” You replied, making Wanda squeal with joy.

“Hell yeah! We’re getting drunk tonight.” Peter cheered.

~~~

You were now at the parking lot of the school on your way to find Natasha, a few moments later you finally saw Natasha and she was leaning against her car with a cigarette in hand, she was also already looking in your direction.

“Isn’t this a non-smoking area?” You asked with your arms crossed.

Natasha hummed, “Yes, but I am not a student like you.” She quipped.

You wanted to roll your eyes so badly at her response but you stopped yourself, “I’m not riding home with you today, I’ve got plans.” You said as you looked directly at her emerald green eyes.

“And by plans you mean?” She asked with her brow raised and a drag from her cigarette.

“I’m just going out with my friends.” You simply replied.

Natasha looked behind you and saw that Carol was waiting by the light post a few meters away from the both of you. “Right, friends.” she said with obvious sarcasm in her voice. She clicked her tongue and asked, “Does Maria know about this?”

“She does,” You replied and showed her your conversation with Maria earlier.

It wasn’t what she meant, she wanted to know if Maria knew about you dating the cheerleader but she would just ask you about that some other time.

“Fine, I’ll see you later.” She lastly said before she dropped her cigarette onto the ground and stepped on it, she then went into her car and drove off.

“Shall we go?” You suddenly heard Carol ask as she held your hand.

You nodded and said, “Yeah, let’s go and have some fun.”

~~~

A few drinks later, you decided to call it a night, it was getting late and you didn’t want an earful from your sister at an ungodly hour.

But what you didn’t expect was seeing a very familiar car waiting by the entrance. The window rolled down and you saw the very least person you wanted to see, Natasha.

“I didn’t ask for a chauffeur.” You said with annoyance.

“Your sister asked me to pick you up. She has an emergency at work if that's why you're wondering I'm the one picking you up instead of your sister.” Natasha plainly said to you with her piercing eyes almost as if she's going to eat you whole.

You were a bit scared with how she's looking at you but your anger and annoyance were dominating, “I'm not riding with you, I'm clearly not drunk so I don't need someone to bring me home. Plus, I'm going to walk Carol to her dorm.”

If Natasha was keeping her composure earlier, she’s sure as hell isn't now after you mentioned that girl.

What she did next is something you didn't expect at all, she got out of her car and grabbed both of your arms, placed them on your back then pushed you onto the wall and twisted one of your arms making you hiss and curse in pain.

“Ow! S-stop that!” you yelped.

Natasha leaned on your ear and whispered, “I'm going to stop once you step inside the car. So, I'll tell you this one more time, get. in.”

The way her voice husked in your ear definitely made you feel something but you still weren't going to easily fold, “Like hell I will.” you said making Natasha twisting your arm more making you scream in pain this time. After a few moments you finally gave up, “A-Alright, I-I'll get in.” you said, making Natasha chuckle and let go of your wrist, “Good, thought we're going to be here all night.”

Natasha then strutted back to her car as you continued to rub your wrist in pain later seeing a slight bruise forming as you entered the car.

“That's gonna teach you to listen to me, Y/N. I may be living rent free in your household but that doesn't mean you're allowed to disrespect me once we're outside campus.” Natasha said as she started to drive away.

You rolled your eyes and sat silent in your seat, until your phone rang, the caller ID revealing that your girlfriend was calling. "Hey babe. Yeah sorry, apparently, my sister told Natasha to pick me up." you heard Natasha click her tongue.

"I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise. Alright. Bye." you said then ended the call.

"Didn't say the 'L' word?" Natasha suddenly asked.

You scoffed, "No, we're not seriously dating. There's no need for that."

"Ah, so it's more on just sex then?" Natasha asked with a smirk on her face.

"What? N-no I mean… kind of, I mean…" you groan in frustration, "You know what, it's none of your business."

"Fine, I already got a clue anyway just from the answer alone." Natasha replied, her smirk not leaving her face.

"Whatever." you said while rolling your eyes.

Natasha suddenly grabbed your thigh and dug her nails into it making you hiss in pain, "Roll your eyes at me one more time, you're going to get it." she said as she continued driving and digging her nails into your thigh.

What she said and did made you remain still and silent in your seat, thankfully, you were already near your home.

Once you arrived, you immediately left the car and went inside to your bedroom, laying face planted onto the mattress and finally succumbed to sleep.

~~~

"I'm going on a business trip for a few weeks," Maria said as you ate breakfast.

"What? You're leaving me here?" You said in shock and disbelief.

"I wish you could come with me but you have school and plus, you have Natasha to stay here with you."

That was the issue, you didn't want to be left alone together with the woman you certainly despised with your whole being.

"When are you leaving?" Natasha asked as she got up from her seat and placed her dishes on the sink.

"Tonight, so that's why I won't be here once you guys get back." Maria replied as she also got up and placed her dishes on the sink.

You lastly got up and gathered all your dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. After that, you hugged your sister and said, "Take care big sis."

She hugged you back and replied, "Of course I will. I love you little sis."

You said I love you back and Natasha was just watching the whole scene unfold in front of her, it always made her smile when she would see you let all your guard down around your sister, it just meant that you really felt safe around her.

It reminded her of her sister, Yelena. Who is busy traveling the world and living her best life, making up for the lost time she had before because of their past.

Maria released her embrace. “Go wait for Natasha in her car, I have to talk to her about something first.” she said and you nodded in response then left the room with Natasha's car keys in hand.

Once they heard the door close, Maria took a deep breath and spoke, “You can… take care of her for me right? She tends to be reckless sometimes and I just want to make sure she's not going to be in some trouble while I'm gone.”

“You can count on me Maria, I mean, I already got a taste of that when I picked her up last night.”

What Natasha said made Maria raise a brow at her, “Really? What did she do?”

“She refused to get in the car with me, but it's fine, I managed.” Natasha replied with a slight smirk on her face.

“I see, well… I hope you won't experience more of that in the next few days. Well, anyway, you guys got to go, it's getting a bit late.” Maria lastly said before they hugged and Natasha left the kitchen.

Starting tonight, you'll be left with the woman you hate but at the same time feel certain things for. You're nervous but excited even to see what will happen the next few days of the two of you living together without your sister.

Natasha got in her car and started the engine. But before she starts to drive she looked you in the eyes and said, “Look, I know you don't like me and I can't blame you for that but we'll be living together for a few weeks and I want us to be friends even just for the time being for the sake of your sister.”

A smirk formed on your face, “Alright, if that's what you want then let's be friends.” you simply replied and Natasha did a simple nod in respone and started to drive you both to school.

Let the games begin.

[jigujellee]

COOL WITH YU

(gif creds here)

pairing : karina x fem!reader

summary : karina yu hates your guts, but she's starting to realize she doesn't. | read part 1 here!

word count : 5k 💀

warnings : mentions of death, mentions of gambling addictions, swearing, red flag step mom green flag dad, karina is just not good w her words, shitty non proof-read writing (im v rusty im so sorry)

your tears cascaded down your cheeks as you watched your father kneel beside your bedridden mother, gripping onto her hand as he sobbed uncontrollably. you both knew this day would eventually come; the doctors constantly reminded you of her poor prognosis but neither of you were ready to accept it.

your eyes shift from your father to your mother. you could tell she left peacefully seeing that her she had a faint smile on her face, one that you always loved to see growing up. as you admired her features, your chest begins to ache as her last words to you repeatedly echo in your head;

“you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n. thank you for being my sunshine even on my darkest days. never forget that i’m always with you in here,” she says as she holds her hand to your chest and feels your heartbeat, causing a smile grows on her face.

“and i love you so much, my y/n. i always will even if we’re galaxies and dimensions apart”

it was too much to take in at the young age of 12. your mind was blank, not a single thought occupying your brain. you couldn’t process the fact that you’ve lost one of the most important people in your life on a random tuesday evening. it’s clear your father couldn’t handle it either, seeing how he hasn’t been able to stop his own tears since the time of death was announced. you move towards him and hug him from behind and you too start to sob with him.

naturally, it would take some time to truly accept the fact that your mother was gone. the pain still lingered for both you and your father but things were slowly shaping up. you found joy in the things you loved once again and you were able to surround yourself with people who cared about you. it wasn’t until your dad had announced that he would be getting married to a literal reincarnation of the devil that all the progress you were making had gone down the drain. how could he remarry so quickly, and to someone who wasn’t anything like your mother?

her name was lorraine. she used to work with your dad and kept seeing him after your mother’s passing. she seemed really sweet and caring at first but she was quick to show her true colours once she got with your dad. unbeknownst to the both of you, lorraine had a terrible gambling addiction. the anger on your dad’s face when he found out she used all the money your mom put away for your college tuition wasn’t even close to the anger you felt bubbling in your chest. to make matters worse, lorraine didn’t seem bothered by it at all nor did she give any indication that she would try and help earn it back, and you swore that you wouldn’t bother trying to include her in your life.

you didn’t have a large circle of friends so avoiding people was easy for you. if anything, you enjoyed roaming around campus on your own, trying to find undiscovered places to study and get work done. the only person you haven’t avoided was ryujin, a friend you met who lives a few dorms down from you, but that was only because she forces her way into your life and you just always seem to give in to her.

the two of you found a nice shaded area in the quad to try and study for your upcoming midterms. it was silent for the most part with the breeze and some birds chirping being the only thing you could hear, but that silence was broken when ryujin suddenly asks you a question.

“how come you don’t hang around karina anymore?”

the mention of her name is enough to make you stop writing notes. you take a brief look at her before smacking her on the arm, causing her to yelp.

“damn girl, i was just asking! no need to get violent,” ryujin rubs the now slightly reddened area in attempts to soothe the pain.

“but i brought her up because i think she’s worried about you. like, i swear i’ve seen her steal glances at you whenever you and i study at the library or whenever we pass by her”

“aw how sweet,” you say sarcastically, not even batting an eye towards your friend as you continue to focus on your notes.

“i swear i caught you looking back at her too at one point”

“okay, now you’re just being delusional”

“am i though?” the question is left unanswered and you force her to focus on studying. ryujin smirks at her small victory.

if you were in fact looking at the girl in question, it probably wasn’t even on purpose. besides, why would you even bother staring at someone who doesn’t care about you?

to say you were tired was an understatement; you were absolutely drained. studying for midterms and completing a handful of assignments meant that you were losing more and more sleep each night, and it was definitely catching up to you.

“you look like you died and were forced to come back to life,” ryujin jokes as she hands you a large black coffee and a red bull. was it healthy? definitely not, but you needed to stay awake during your classes.

“good morning to you too, jinnie. thanks for the energy”

“i know, i’m everyone’s ball of sunshine!” she yells, a bit too close to your eardrums for your liking.

“i meant the drinks, idiot”

“it’s okay, i know what you really mean” ryujin playfully nudges your side and you can’t help but playfully roll your eyes at her. you slide the red bull into your bag and take a sip of the coffee before dropping ryujin off to her class and making your way to yours. thankfully, your classes are in the same building so you don’t need to travel too far.

you quietly enter the lecture hall, your mind too occupied with what you were going to study next once you finished classes today. you plop yourself down in your usual seat, not paying much attention to the few students already there. it wasn’t until a granola bar was placed on top of the notes you were trying to read that you finally paid attention to something other than microbiology notes.

when you look up, your eyes are met with a girl sporting a jean jacket with a black tank top underneath matched with grey sweats and topped with a plain black yankees baseball cap. she looked like those girls on pinterest who had such simple but eye-catching outfits. when she looks up, you realize it’s the person you’ve been trying to avoid for days now. she doesn’t utter a word and makes her way down to her usual spot three rows in front of you. you stare at the granola bar for a moment as you mentally debate whether you should eat it or not. the professor’s voice catches you off guard and you quickly shove the granola bar into the front pocket of your bag, deciding to eat it sometime later when she wasn’t around.

this class is one of your favourites as you personally love learning about anything ancient greece, but today you find it difficult to pay attention in class. your eyelids are significantly heavier than usual and you feel your head start to bob up and down. you figure it shouldn’t hurt to close your eyes for a moment so you lay your head down behind your laptop to try and get some shut eye, but it doesn’t last long because you feel the neighbouring student nudge your elbow to which you jerk your head up and find the professor giving you a stern look.

“i asked you a question, y/n”

“i’m sorry, could you please repeat it?”

the professor sighs but continues on anyway, “which two generals were fighting in the second punic war?”

you knew the answer, you felt it on the tip of your tongue. but all you could do was let out a few “uhs” and “uhms” before a familiar voice speaks in your place.

“it was between scipio africanus and hannibal”

“well done, karina. i’d also like to remind everyone that sleeping in my class is not allowed. either show up to my class or don’t come at all, but i don’t want you to come in here and treat it like your bedroom,” the professor doesn’t break eye contact with you as he spoke to the class. you shrink back in your seat and keep your eyes glued to your laptop, failing to catch karina looking back at you with worry plastered all over her face.

luckily you were able to keep yourself awake for the remainder of the lecture after chugging down the coffee ryujin got you. once 3 hours have gone by and everyone is packing up to leave, the professor asks to have a word with you so you sit and wait for everyone to leave the lecture hall before making your way down towards the front of the class. your professor has already packed up and sits on the desk, swinging his legs back and forth like a child in a high chair.

“is everything alright, y/n?” he asks gently.

“yeah, i’m- i’m just exhausted. it’s midterm season and all the profs are dropping assignments left and right, and i thought i planned everything out properly but i’m a bit behind so i’ve been staying up late to finish things,” you ramble, pausing to catch your breath. “but this doesn’t excuse me falling asleep in your class, i’m sorry. it won’t happen again”

“it’s alright, i was just worried. i’m sorry for announcing it to the class, i didn’t realize what i said until afterwards which is why i wanted to speak with you briefly to apologize,” you give a small smile and tell him not to worry about it. he dismisses you and reminds you take breaks when you can. it felt nice to have a professor care for their students, which was another reason why you enjoyed this class so much.

you feel a bit better after speaking with your professor; your steps felt lighter and you suddenly felt energized to get some studying done so you plan to head for the library. but unfortunately, the campus goddess had also wanted to have a word with you after class seeing that she waited for you outside. you attempt to walk in the opposite direction but karina is quick to follow you with a skip in her step.

“hey, i practically saved your ass in there,” she boasts, now trying to walk backwards since you wouldn’t stop walking. “now we’re even after what you did last time” you felt your eyes roll at her comment and you pick up your pace to move past her and get to the library. you’re stopped yet again when you feel her slender fingers tightly wrap around your wrist, pulling you back to face her.

“can you stop ignoring me for once? i just want to talk to you”

“let go, you’re hurting me” karina looks down and her eyes widen at how strong her grip was on you, and she’s quick to drop your wrist.

“sorry. where are you off to in such a hurry anyway?”

“cut the bullshit karina, what do you want to say?” the purple haired girl purses her lips and inhales deeply through her nose before continuing.

“why do you have so much hatred towards me?” you look at her completely baffled, then laugh in disbelief.

“are you serious? you’re asking me why i hate you, when you’re the one who did it first? don’t you remember what you said to me when i was asked to help you with your catch up assignments? you said you were going to get your grade up, with or without my help, and then you’d be through with me. and let’s not forget all the times you shut me down when all i wanted was to be your friend and be close to you, yet you want to stand here in front of me want and ask why i hate you? damn i didn’t take you for an idiot, karina,” the last sentence struck a chord in the girl.

“excuse me?” it was karina’s turn to act baffled. “i was just stressed and having a really difficult time, but clearly you wouldn’t understand that because of how cold and ignorant you are,” she responds, voice slightly raised. if you think people weren’t staring at you before, they definitely were now.

“oh yes, because you, of all people, definitely understand how i’m feeling just because you overheard that one phone call, right? like be fucking for real” karina’s words begin to sink in and only then does she realize the weight of her words; this isn’t how she wanted this conversation to go at all. you walk closely towards her and you watch karina uncross her arms and keeps them at her sides once your faces are merely inches apart from each other.

“don’t make comments about my personal life because i don’t make comments about yours. (shoutout ate bobbie, iykyk) i never wanted to hate you karina, i’m just here returning the fucking favour,” you push past the girl and leave her in a now crowded corridor with people whispering around you trying to understand what just happened. the campus goddess clenches her fists and tries to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes. she was reminded of when you yelled at her the last time, saying the same thing: that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with karina.

after your little spat with karina, your week has been anything but good. you lost all your motivation to study, you started to skip a few of your classes and opted to stay at your dorm because you couldn’t deal with any human interaction right now. you replay the fight over and over in your head, and you honestly find it hard to believe that one person can have such a drastic effect on your mood.

you stay in bed after hearing your alarm go off, staring at the ceiling. it’s been your dream to come to this school but you clearly weren’t enjoying the experience to the fullest. you’re miles away from your dad, you have a demon of a step mother, and the prettiest most popular girl on campus hated you and you still don’t even have any clue as to why. your first year at smu wasn’t anything like college life in the movies and a part of you was starting to regret coming here.

letting out a deep sigh, you turn to your side and find the framed picture of your mom sitting on your nightstand. you reach to grab it and gloss over her features, her smile standing out to you the most as many would say that you have her smile. tears start to trickle in and you pull the frame close to your chest, hoping that you could somehow feel the warmth of her hugs once more.

“i miss you so much, mom. i wish you were here to tell me things will be okay.”

you stay like that for a few minutes, your tears now drying on your face. you feel the weight of your eyelids become heavier and you could feel yourself drifting into sleep yet again, but your phone begins to violently vibrate. thinking you must’ve set another alarm by mistake, you reach to grab the device and find it’s not an alarm but a phone call. as you usually do with lorraine, you answer the phone but say nothing until she speaks first.

“i’ve been trying to call you for ages now! why aren’t you picking up your phone? i swear to god y/n, you will be the reason for your father’s death with all the stress you’ve been causing him!”

“how do you know you’re not the one causing him to stress?”

“please sweetie, you wouldn’t know how much i do for him since you rarely ever check in with us”

“oh i check in with him all the time, it’s just you i don’t check in with. you’re no one to me”

“you’re such an ungrateful little prick, you know that? you’re just like your mother, you’re both just so unreliable and you leave your poor father all alone here and-”

“god, just shut the fuck up!” you spring up in bed, clutching the picture frame tightly out of anger.

“my parents wanted me to come here! they knew it was always my dream to come to smu, but after your dumbass self spent all the money we had on your stupid gambling addiction, he had to work a shit ton of jobs just so he could pay for me to go to school! and what did you do? what did you do besides stay at home, unemployed, gossiping with your friends over the phone on the couch every fucking day?” your vision becomes more blurry by the second due to the new rush of tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

your relationship with your dad became a teeny bit rocky after announcing his marriage with lorraine, but it wasn’t completely terrible. you didn’t have the heart to hate your dad for meeting someone new. if anything, you understood that you had to rely on each other more than ever because he’s all you have left and you didn’t want some random lady to get in the way of that.

one day, your dad walks into your room and sits beside you on your bed where he hands you a plane ticket and what looked like an admission’s folder with smu’s crest on the front.

“i’ve saved up enough for your first two years, and i’ll continue working hard so you can finish altogether. i know it’s always been your dream to study at smu and i don’t want you to lose this opportunity because of financial setbacks”

“but i don’t want leave you here dad, i’m fine attending somewhere nearby. i just don’t want you to be alone with her,” you protest as you wrap your arms tightly around him. he leaves a soft kiss on your temple reassuring you that he’ll be fine, and made you promise to call him everyday.

“you’re going to make mom and i proud like you always do, y/n. don’t worry about me, just live your dreams for the both of us”

you aggressively wipe your eyes before continuing to yell into the phone mic.

“if you think you’re my dad’s knight in shining armour who saved him, then you’re so delusional. don't speak about me or my mother again, and for fuck's sake, stop calling me! i don’t need you to check in on me and i don’t need you in my life!” you hang up without letting her utter a word in, making sure to block her number right after. you fall back onto your bed with tears falling one after the other, these ones being out of anger and not sadness.

your phone begins to ring again and you nearly throw it across the room, but seeing that it was your dad calling, you immediately pick it up.

“hi my lo- wait, are you crying? why are you crying, what happened?”

“nothing dad, lorraine just called. again.” you hear your father sigh and watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“i’m so sorry sweetie, i tried making it clear to her that you didn’t want her contacting you, but she’s still stubborn as per usual”

“why are you still with her?”

“to be honest, i don’t know. if i knew she was going to act like this, especially with you, i wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. i’m seriously considering filing a divorce,” his response slightly shocks you.

“well, don’t divorce her because of me. if you like her, then you like her and i don’t want to get in the way of that”

“honey, you know you come first before anything and anyone. both you and your mom,” you begin to feel a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest at the mention of her. it’s silent for a moment before you ask a question you’ve been wanting to ask for sometime now.

“do you miss mom?”

“oh y/n, i miss her every single day. i still can’t find it in my heart to believe she’s really gone”

“you were so in love with her, weren’t you?”

“were? i am still very much in love with her. there is no one else in this world that could possibly make me feel the way your mother did. although there’s a possibility of meeting new people, no one else will come close to her” you smile at the words being spilled by your dad. it was so endearing to hear him speak about his love for your mom and it eases your mind knowing that he hadn’t easily replaced her with someone like lorraine.

“there’s the pretty smile i love so much,” you giggle at your dad's sudden comment, your eyes meeting his own along with his signature big and toothy grin.

“i love you dad”

“i love you too, sweetie. it’s you and mom in my heart forever, okay?” you nod your head and flash him another smile.

“i’m coming home once the semester ends so text me what you want me to bring home”

“that’s my girl! and don’t stress too much. i’m okay, you’re okay, and everything is going to be okay. i got you always,” he blows you a kiss and waves goodbye before hanging up, the anger from earlier dissipating almost immediately.

you don’t realize you’re still holding onto the picture of your mom even after both phone calls. you look at it one more time and replicate the smile that your mother had before giving the picture a soft kiss and placing it back in its spot on the nightstand. with a sudden surge of energy and motivation thanks to your dad, you decide to be productive today and start by cleaning yourself and your room, which was a complete disaster due to midterm season.

once you’ve finished your little reset moment, you hear a knock on the door. you weren’t expecting anyone so you’re taken aback slightly at the sudden visitor. twisting the doorknob with much hesitation, you open the door and find no one there to your surprise. you peek your head out and look in both directions to see who it was, but you only caught glimpse of what looked like a jean jacket turning the corner. at first, you think you were just being pranked but once you look towards the ground, you find a shin ramen cup and some spam with a sticky note reading “don’t skip your meals. you can’t live on coffee and red bull forever - rn” you bring the items in and begin to prepare the food while thinking of who rn could possibly be.

the following days were spent entirely in the library trying to catch up on school work. thankfully, you were able to get your assignments out of the way and you had time to focus on just studying now. you make your way to your usual spot in the library, large coffee in hand and headphones on your head, but you notice someone is already sitting there. you recognize the purple hair that was tied in a messy bun under a familiar black baseball cap. it had been awhile since you fought with the girl, so you were hesitant to approach her and tried to look for other seats in the library. to your demise, other tables and areas were fully occupied except for the seat across from her, so you walked towards the empty spot anyway.

karina has her headphones on as well so she doesn’t hear you approach her. she’s startled once she noticed someone take the seat in front of her, but she’s even more surprised at who takes the seat.

you don’t say anything and even avoid any eye contact with her, but you can feel her piercing gaze as she watches you like a hawk while you unpack your things. as soon as you get settled, karina takes her headphones off and taps you lightly on the hand, motioning for you to take your headphones off too indicating that she wanted to talk. you pause your song and take them off like she requested and karina takes a deep breath before speaking, as she usually does with you.

“i understand if you still do not wish to speak to me after this, but please hear me out this one time” she’s barely whispering and you need to lean in a bit closer to fully hear her. but you stay silent and she takes it as her cue to continue.

“growing up, my mom always pushed me to study and work hard. i rarely left my house, and if i did, it was just with family. when i came here to smu, i finally had the freedom to do whatever i want whenever i want, but unfortunately, that mindset of constantly needing to do well and staying independent still stays with me. i’ve lost a lot of friends because of it; i lost you because of it,” she shyly admits. “but that should not be an excuse for how i’ve been treating you since you got here, and i’m really sorry. you just wanted to be close with me and you wanted to help me but i pushed you away without any warning, which isn’t fair to you at all”

you nod your head when she spoke to show that you were really listening and trying to understand what she was saying. it takes some time to figure out what to say to karina, but she patiently waits for you to formulate your response which surprises her at first.

“you remind me of my mother. she was hardworking, independent, and very beautiful too,” karina’s cheeks feel warm at the sudden compliment and you try to hide your smirk when you see the tips of her ears go red.

“but just like you, she also pushed away those who cared about her the most. even when she was confined to a hospital bed, suffering and hurting, she always told my dad and i that she was fine with the biggest smile on her face. i knew she wasn’t, but she didn’t want us to worry. she didn’t want us to think about when her time finally comes” the girl stays silent just like you did, letting the words fully sink in as she waits for you to continue.

“but if there’s anything thing my mom taught me, it’s to not give up on people so easily which is why i kept trying to be friends with you. looking at it now, maybe i came off way too strong at first with all the gifts, and it’s my fault for not realizing that. but like you said, it doesn’t excuse your behaviour towards me” karina purses her lips and brings her head down, ashamed to face you because of her past actions. but she quickly shoots her head up and asks if there's anything she could do to make it up to you.

“let me take you on a date” karina’s eyes widen and her cheeks are fully flushed, you can’t help but smirk at the girl.

“a date? like, a romantic date? or-”

“it doesn’t need to be romantic. just two people, getting to know each other and seeing where it takes them” karina regains composure and tries to act like she didn’t just freak out a second ago.

“do you have a crush on me, y/n?” she says with fake confidence.

“you intrigue me," you admit bluntly. "i want to know more about the campus goddess and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think of you from time to time”

“well, i could say the same thing. i wouldn’t have gone out of my way to feed you if i didn’t have any interest in you,” you raise your eyebrow in confusion, unsure of what she meant. you don’t recall talking to karina prior to this conversation so it was practically impossible for her to have fed you. it’s karina’s turn to smirk as she finds your confusion slightly amusing, but it immediately clears up once she messily attempts to write rn upside down in your notebook. you simply smile at the memory of finding food in front of your door.

the rest of your time in the library is spent studying because you learned you both had been slacking off due to the emotional distress of being angry at each other. you agreed to study for a few hours before grabbing a bite to eat together, and as you watch a focused purple-haired campus goddess scrunch her nose while trying to write her study notes, you realize that college was going to be one hell of an experience after all.

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to put out.... but i hope u enjoyed it nonetheless :') i love u all sm

[redditreceipts]

https://www.reddit.com/r/196/s/Qr3rxB9mw1

Jesus fucking CHRIST why do they always talk about their straw man as if it's so matter of fact??? WHICH radfems are they even talking to? God it's so hard to try and be open minded about how genderists think when they get literally everything wrong about radfems.

It's like all they do is watch Contrapoints or Lily Alexandre etc. talk about radfems instead of actually engaging with radfems and radfem theory.

Okay, so let’s go through this bit by bit: 

okay, what nuances are these? 

so this is the claim that radical feminists don’t understand intersectionality. Which is just not true. I also have never heard anyone say that??? I mean, maybe there are radical feminists who don’t believe that white women participate in a system of racism, but I haven’t met a single one yet?? Who is saying that white women don’t benefit from systems of racial oppression? (genuine question) 

Okay so this might be a hot take but I actually do think that a member of a marginalised demographic is allowed to not be as nuanced while talking about their oppressor. To stay with the racism analogy: If a person of colour said things like “I’m fucking done with white people and I don’t want to be friends with any of them because I don’t want to go through the tedious process of finding out who is racist and who isn’t”, I wouldn’t be offended or anything, because they are probably right. I as an autistic person personally also wouldn’t want to date a neurotypical person again, because in the past, there have been considerable difficulties in communication. And now imagine how a survivor of rape or abuse or sex trafficking would feel like! 

So is hating men a solid political theory? No. But is hating men a way of life that makes the life of many women safer and happier? Definitely. 

FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME: WE DON’T WANT TO BAN SEX WORK! WE WANT TO BAN PEOPLE BUYING THEIR WAY INTO NON-CONSENSUAL SEX!!! This can’t be true. How often has it been said that radfems want to criminalise prostitution or throw every prostituted person in jail 😭

Who the fuck thinks that men are inherently predatory 😭 I can’t anymore.

No, men are not inherently predatory. Men are socialised into being predatory, or at least to a large degree. Which is why we want to change that socialisation process. Have you ever listened to any feminist ever in your entire life? 

Also, saying that a movement is cultish and people are being manipulated into joining is not patronisation. By that logic, you also wouldn’t be able to criticise Jehova’s Witnesses because you saying that they manipulate people into joining would be patronising the people who did join. 

I mean it’s possible that some feminists agree with the takes presented here, but acting as if it was some sort of foundational belief to radical feminism is just stupid 

[giggly-squiggily]

Android (Dr. Stone)

Hey hey guess who's got Lee!Francois content for y'all? This girl! This is for a friend of mine (You know who you are :3)- we got to talking about Francois and just- YESH! This was an absolute delight to make, and I hope you like it :3

There was a rumor that traveled around Ishigami Village about Francois secretly being an android. 

Ryusui knew this because he was the one to start it.

Okay, okay- that wasn’t true; but he certainly didn’t help. It was hard not to giggle at the wide eyed wonder on the children’s faces as he neither confirmed or denied the answer. Sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder it himself as he watched Francois go about their life.

Up before everyone else and in bed well after, their uniform and hair in perfect condition- or however close to perfect you could get here- as they went about their tasks, knowledge on just about everything relating to cooking, cleaning and holistic care. Francois was the whole package- untouchable in their presence.

It was admirable, but also concerning. Did they ever truly take breaks?

Today- he was gonna get to the bottom of it.

~~~

“Ha HA! Francois, I found you!”

“I’ve been here the entire time.” They barely looked up from their work, folding freshly washed clothes for the now sleeping villagers. The day had been a long and difficult one due to weather antics and complications with the boat. Francois had been putting in extra labor today- bringing everyone refreshments and tending to tears- clothing and human alike. If they were tired, they didn’t show it. “You know I’m always within earshot if you need something.”

“I appreciate that. What’s a sailor without their first mate?” Ryusui rocked on his heels, pleased with the proud set in Francois’ shoulders. “Still- as grateful as I am, I also want you to take a break. When was the last time you’ve stopped, Francois?”

Only a twitch- the single indication the question caught them off guard. “I’ll be finished after I tend to these garments, young master.”

“Francois…that’s not an answer.” The sailor walked forward, leaning against the wooden table with a mild pout. “You haven’t taken a break today even once, have you?”

“The stitching is rather nicely done.”

“Or yesterday?”

“Miss Yuzuriha outdid herself with these, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you put your feet up once since you’ve come to the village.”

“It’s a shame the environment here tears them apart. Such incredible work-”

“Francois!” Ryusui had them pinned against the table, face to face with his arms bracketing them in. The effect was…less than impressive. Francois barely reacted- blinking up at him with a near bored stare.

“Yes?” They asked when nothing was said.

“Francois- you are my butler, and that means I get to tell you what to do.” Ryusui raised his chin- and then lowered it when he remembered their height difference. He wasn’t used to doing this to anyone but-

Long brown hair. Curious eyes. An amused smile-

Focus, Ryusui!

“Yes. I suppose that is our arrangement.” Francois brought him back, mercifully holding back comment on the sudden flush against the sailor’s face.

“Right! And as per our arrangement- you know I’m the greediest man alive. So what I want is final.” He reached out, gently poking Francois in the chest with a single finger. “And what I want right now is for you to take a break. No arguments!”

Silence. Blue eyes looked up into honey ones. A soft sigh and a pinched expression formed as Francois shook their head.

“Apologies, young master. I’m afraid I will not be able to fulfill your desire.”

….Eh. It was worth a shot. Ryusui slumped some, already figuring that wasn’t going to work. A sailor’s instincts are never wrong- he knew how stubborn they were.

Very well then- time to break out the desperate measures.

“Francois.” He reached out, poking them again but in the hip.

“!!!” A flick of their eyes widening. They stared back at Ryusui with a non-verbal threat. Don’t you dare.

“I’m demanding this- not just as a member of the Nanami family but as your friend.” Another poke, this time to the center of their ribs.

One last spot and it’s all over.

“Take.” Poke towards the back ribs. “A.” One against their mid back. “Break.” A final jab to the center of their shoulder blades. Francois was as stiff as a board now, face pale with effort as their hands clenched knuckle white.

And yet…and yet…

"For-give me, for I cannot.” Their voice was strained, far more than usual.

“Shame. Alright then.” Ryusui smirked before grabbing onto their sides, pressing in with all ten fingers. “Tickle tickle tickle, Francois~”

In a day to day situation, you’d be lucky to get an amused smile from the small butler. Francois took their duties rather seriously- never breaking under any circumstance.

Right now though; all those duties went right out the window as they arched, high pitched giggles shooting from their lips as they shoved at Ryusui’s arms. “Yoohohohohung mahahahahhaster! Pleahahhahahahse!”

“There it is! See? Isn’t it nice to laugh? Hehehe~” The sailor adjusted his grip so he had Francois’ back on the table, giving him more access to tickle spots. Sure- the whole ordeal looked…unseenly, but everyone was either asleep or drunk out of their minds to really comprehend anything. “I’m the greediest man in the world, and I desire you to laugh until you can’t no more!”

“Thihiihiihihs is ihihihihinapprohohohohopriate! Ahehahahhha, Yoohohoohhung mahahahhaster, plehahhhhahhase!” The butler squealed, one hand shielding their face while the other shoved and punched at the sailor’s chest, feet kicking up a storm on the wooden table. Behind them, the small pile of folded clothes fell to the ground in a sad little heap. “Thehehehheheh gahahhahaharmeehhehhents!”

“I’ll pick them up for you.” Ryusui moved back to their hips, kneading gently and making them squeak. “I’ll take care of everything- so you just relax.”

“Yohohohohou dohoohoohn’t know hhoohohohow to fohohoohold!”

“I can certainly learn!”

“Buhuhuhuhuhut the chohohohohohohres!”

“We can take care of it. The village is more than willing.”

“Ruhuhuhuuhuhyusui pleahhahahhaahahse!”

“Are you gonna take a break?” Ryusui asked, giving their thighs a knead. The effect was near instantaneous- Francois spasmed with a squeaky scream, laughter falling silent as they thrashed. Their cheeks were cherry pink, eyes misty with mirth- signaling their limit. “Francois?”

“FIHIIHIHNE FIHIHIHIIHNE NOW STAHHAHAHAP!” They cried, gasping for air as soon as Ryusui stopped. Leaning back against the wooden table, they kicked at his chest, too tired to care for etiquette in that moment. “Thahahahk you.”

“Hehe, you’re welcome. You needed it.” Ryusui walked around to the fallen clothes, gathering them up and placing them back on the table. “Ah! Don’t touch it.” He glared when Francois reached out. “I told you- I’ve got this.”

“Stubborn as always.” Climbing off the table, they stretched out their arms with a soft sigh. “Though I must admit, you have a point about taking a break. That little…trick you’ve pulled on me made me realize just how exhausted I really was. A small break wouldn’t hurt…”

“Ha HA! What did I tell you?” Ryusui grinned, proud. On the table the shirts sat- terribly folded. Francois felt their eye twitch.

“Very well. I will take a break…after I fix that.”

“Fran-”

“If you do not let me fix it I’ll tell everyone your worst tickle spot.”

“Understood- please go right ahead.”

Thanks for reading!

[bastionbibi]

Hi it’s Drabble Anon here with the 3rd drabble I made in this batch, same ghost au but focused on someone else, have fun and have a good day/night:

“Man, it’s been a while since we hung out! Even though we’re dead.” Date huffed, putting his hands behind his neck while giving Hiromitsu a grin, “Say, where’s that girl who’s been following your brother every now and then? The friend of his?”

“Ah, you mean Aoi? She’s currently looking after Kansuke right now. I think she wants to try and write to him.” Hiromitsu explains, floating around in circles. “Mom and Dad are currently resting right now. They’ve exhausted themselves practicing to lift things up and getting Taka’aki-nii to sleep after a long day at work. I think that was the first time they managed to actually push Taka’aki-nii.”

“Really now? Your parents must be strong Hiro!” Date laughed, pulling an arm around his friend, “I can’t wait to meet them again, your mom makes the best tea!”

“I don’t even know how she was able to prepare that tea, we’re in the afterlife.” Hiromitsu admits sheepishly before smiling at his older brother who was talking to Takagi, a close friend of Date’s. “It seems my brother and your friend are enjoying each other’s company.”

“I think they’re talking about a show Takagi watched. He’s a big fan of martial arts and sports. I had no idea that your brother was interested in that sort of thing.” Date says, amused as Hiromitsu shakes his head fondly, “Nah, he’s not but I think he likes hearing how passionate Takagi is about the subject.”

Hiromitsu wraps his arms around Taka’aki, even though they could barely feel each other, he appreciates how at least his brother is able to sense his presence and pats himself on the back whenever Taka’aki smiles more warmly because of it. Date blinks as he tries to wrap his arm around Takagi’s shoulder, only to cuss when he phased through, stumbling before floating back up. “Damnit! How did you do it Hiro?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure. It took a lot of practice but also a lot of determination. It’s like concentrating on a single point and making it happen.” Hiromitsu explains with a shrug, “It’s almost a gut feeling, almost instinctual.”

“I see.” Date nods, frowning as he continues watching Takagi. “Wish I could touch him but I guess I still haven’t gotten to that point yet. All I could do as of now is keep that reaper away.”

“What reaper?” Hiromitsu asked, confused when Takagi and Taka’aki halted their conversation, now focused as they calmly step into the building and that’s when Hiromitsu saw it— A skeleton in a black robe, wielding a giant scythe following the two. It was so silent, their presence non-existent and yet just looking at it was enough to plunge Hiromitsu’s heart into ice, shivers racking up his spine. “Wha—“

“Oh no you don’t!” Date shouted angrily, grabbing the cloaked figure and pulling it back, grunting as the skeleton struggled under his grasp. “Hiromitsu! Help me out here!”

“Ah! Right!” Hiromitsu exclaimed, snapping into action as he helped hold down the skeleton. “Who is this guy?!”

“I don’t know, I call it Bad Omen and it’s a real prick!” Date growled, re-securing his grip. “It constantly targets Takagi and puts him into serious danger like how he almost got caught in an explosion from a bomb and when he was left to starve in the damn winter!”

“Okay what?! You need to tell me these things later!” Hiromitsu yelps, letting out an exclamation of pain when the skeleton Bad Omen smacked him, sending shivers of foreboding across his body. “How do we get rid of it?”

“I don’t know, the best I can do is hold it off until Takagi is finished- woah!” Date’s eyes widened when Bad Omen suddenly disappeared from their grasps, leaving them fumbling for nothing. “No, no no! Where did it go?!”

As if to answer Date’s question in the cruelest way possible, an explosion went off in the building Takagi and Taka’aki went in and Hiromitsu felt his non-existent blood went cold upon that realisation. “Taka’aki-nii’s there.”

Immediately, Hiromitsu flew upwards, his panic rising upon seeing the floor covered in rubble, having flashbacks to a certain similar situation.

“No, no please… Taka’aki! Where are you?!” Hiromitsu called out despite the fact that Taka’aki couldn’t hear his voice at all. He dove into the rubble, gasping upon finding his brother trapped underneath, his only salvation being the pocket of space his upper body was in, his leg and arm pinned. Hiromitsu’s heart caught to his throat as he sees blood seeping out, “No! Taka’aki-nii, you can’t die! Not yet! You still have your life ahead of you! You gotta take care of your cat companion! Kansuke and Yui would be sad to see you go!”

Somehow, as if hearing him, Taka’aki stirred, groaning as he tries to lift himself up but the rubble prevented him from doing so. It was then that’s Hiromitsu noticed a sobbing, little girl wrapped around Taka’aki’s free arm, pulling her into a protective embrace. Hiromitsu resisted the urge to cry, biting his lip before noticing Bad Omen again. Anger clouds his vision as he tackles the skeleton right as it was raising it’s scythe, punching it in its skeletal jaw. “That’s enough! I won’t let you hurt them!”

Bad Omen clattered as it threw Hiromitsu away with ease, making him grunt before he flew back in but the skeleton was nowhere to be seen. Tightening his fists, Hiromitsu floated towards Date who found Takagi stuck in the rubble as well, holding himself up to shield someone underneath.

“Is that… The bomber?” Hiromitsu gasped in disbelief to which Date nods, trying his best to hold back tears, “Yeah, Takagi would always protect others, even if it’s at the cost of his own life. It’s something I really admire yet I wanna smack him upside the head for endangering himself all the time.”

“Date…” Hiromitsu muttered but before he could say anything else, the rubble shifted once more, pressing deeper into Takagi’s back which made him scream in pain. Date’s eyes shot open as he flew forward, “NO!!”

Date wasn’t sure how he did it, nor did he question it at the moment but somehow, he was pushing the rubble back, putting his all and more to make sure the Bad Omen doesn’t succeed. “Damnit… I won’t let you…! YOU’RE NOT GONNA DIE TAKAGI!! YOU’RE GONNA LIVE A HAPPY LIFE, MARRYING THE ONE YOU LOVE AND SETTLING DOWN!!! I WANT TO SEE YOUR WEDDING DAMNIT!!”

Hiromitsu didn’t hesitate to join in, doing his best to hold back the rubble or shift it so that it would be easier for those trapped underneath. It was stressful and every moment that passed, Hiromitsu feared that he’ll won’t make it in time. However, his fears were put to rest when hands shot forth and held back some of the rubble. Hiromitsu couldn’t help the tears of joy that rolled down his cheeks, “Jinpei! Mom, dad!”

“Sorry it took so long, but Anta and the others are here now.” Jinpei grinned through his exhaustion with a determined expression. “I saw your folks heading over here too, I guess they sensed something.”

“You’re not taking my son or that child’s life!” Hiromitsu’s mother exclaims with a fury Hiromitsu had never seen her with before, reminding her of the saying about fearing a mother’s wrath. “I won’t let you!”

Determination floods Hiromitsu as he, his parents, Jinpei and Date continue their best to keep the people trapped inside safe and after what felt like forever, finally, everyone was excavated out of the rubble. By some miracle and possibly their interventions, everyone survived and the bomber was arrested, the girl reuniting with her parents. Hiromitsu watched his parents as they hovered over Taka’aki worriedly, keeping close as though to reassure themselves that their elder son was still alive. Jinpei and Date were floating around Takagi and Satou with Jinpei solemnly rubbing Satou’s back as she cried, weakly scolding Takagi for getting into a dangerous situation again that most likely hit too close to home for her as Date huffs in exhaustion before laying down next to Takagi. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Bad Omen fade away and glared at it, sticking his tongue out before going to his brother and his friends.

They’ll protect their loved ones no matter what, not even a stupid death ghost would get in their way.

You know, I kinda love how what seems to be an isolate case of hauntings turns out to be a whole universe of this in-between realm. Everyone’s just chilling. 

OK SO DOES THIS MEAN, souls usually ‘attach’ to people they know? What if they don’t have anyone to attach too? Do they just hang around or leave?? You don’t have to answer btw im just wondering asdfghjk

NOT THE TOKYO TOWER REAPER!!! 

I love how Miwako can just sense when that mfer is close. 

You know, do you think the same reaper was targeting Matsuda before it targeted Takagi hmm…….. do you think miwako has anything to do with this coincidence? Since she’s the only emotional tie connecting these two men. 

AH!!! MATSUDA!!! I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU!!!

Wait, you know what’s funny? What if Conan is connected to them in some way since everyone keeps dying around him, keeping people alive when he’s around must be twice as hard kjanfkjlad 

I love this one tho, thanks drabble anon! 

[midnightsilver]

A note to new Spn artists on tumblr about tagging,😇

The tagging system is your friend!🤗 How exposure basically works here is that your art posts spread through the web of your mutuals and on out to their mutuals and ever onwards like a growing tree🌳, but the process can be hit or miss. You might not have many mutual yet, or they might not have many mutuals themselves. Or your mutual might not be online when you decide to post your art, and by the time they do get back their dash has gotten busy and your post has dropped so far down that it would take a million years to scroll down to see it. Or maybe your mutuals were online when you posted and did reblog but their mutuals weren’t online and then their dash got busy and…. Etc Etc. There is a way to help with this! ⭐️Tag your art posts⭐️. Tagged posts are searchable and many people follow specific tags. If you tag your art then your posts will continue to show up in that tag list for anyone who missed your initial post or for anyone who isn’t yet your mutual. Give your hard work the chance it deserves!

I find loads of art to reblog by searching through tags but I’d love to find more! If you make Spn art consider tagging it with ‘Spn Art’ or ‘Spn Fanart’ or ‘Supernatural art’ or ‘Supernatural Fanart’ or even ‘Spnfanart’ (if you are still stuck in Twitter mode). These are first tags that most people search for 🔎👀or follow if they are looking for art to do with Supernatural. My favourite to use is ‘Spn Fanart’ - the term ‘supernatural art’ can sometimes be used by other fantasy creators 🐉 but ‘Spn fanart’ is very specific to us.

If you are a creator who is focused on a single character you might tag your art ‘character X art’ and that will entice people who follow ‘character X’ posts but the Generalist Supernaturalist doesn’t have time to search individually for Character A, B, C, D …. Z, every day, so consider adding a general supernatural art tag as well.👍🏻😄

Also please pick a creator tag and stick to it. It can be as simple as ‘my art’ or you can use your name if you want. The pros of using ‘my art’: I see your art post tagged in the Spn fanart tag and I love your style, so I click on your blog to see if you have any more art. The first thing I type in the search bar is ‘my art’ because that’s what loads of people use and Yayyyyy I find loads more of your art and I reblog it and I am very happy! (If you haven’t used a creator tag at all then instead I start scrolling down your dash, realise that it’s been months since the last art post (no shame! Happens to us all 😊) and I find that your endless shit posting is hurting my brain (affectionate 😂 I love this hell hole as much as the next person but just now I’m looking for art not just browsing crack) and I regretfully back out of your blog because I don’t have time for this right now. Cons of using ‘my art’ as a tag: everyone does it, so if someone is searching the whole of tumblr for your art and they type in ‘my art’ then they get every person and their pet come up. To get around this you might use you name as an art tag, but see the issue above about new people finding your blog and not being able to guess what you tag is. So either tell people in your bio what your art tag is or maybe use both a generic ‘my art’ tag AND a personal one. 🤷🏻‍♂️👍🏻😄

Finally! (How fucking long is this post?!! Any of you still here???) Tag warnings, descriptions, characters and ships if any. Many people will search by ship, use the most common/fashionable portmanteau you can think of as a tag. because you want the one that most people might search by - or that ‘your people’ might search for. Also include warnings like MCD, non con, blood, gore, hurt etc without censorship. People can filter out these tags if they don’t like them but only if we have written them clearly. And lastly (as of now Nov 2022) tumblr is still a bit iffy about the whole not-safe-for-your-place-of-capitol-slavery, this is the only caution tag I would advise you not to use. It might still run the risk of a shadow ban - but let’s hope that changes in the future. Instead go for the citrus scale and use lemon for most of your not-for-grandma posts (unless your granny is hella bamf in which case good for grandma😁)

Okay I’m stopping now. Feel free to also chat in your tags if it’s something that you don’t want permanently on the bottom of your post but don’t forget that you are relying only on your mutuals and your tags, so get the searchable ones in there before you chat. 👍🏻😄 and I will look forward to seeing and reblogging all the wonderful Spn Art because you fabulous lot absolutely rule! 🙌🏼🎉

[zuble]

In reference to the post about friends being able to have casual sex, I ask, where do you find these people? I’ve been exploring wanting to be non monagamous in my relationships and also struggling to understand the difference between being friends, dating and like attraction and in my brain there isn’t much difference if that makes sense? And most of my friends identify as queer, yet I feel if I voiced these feelings to them, and in fact one friend i used to flirt with a lot randomly cut me off because they did this with me for a year then got a straight boyfriend and without ever telling me they didn’t want to anymore just cut me out? It was even just harmless flirting from someone who id talked about and they’d even agreed prior with my ideas of queerness.

Basically this is a weird way of saying everyone Ive encountered who is queer in real life for the most part still really looks down on polyamory and FWB’s and everyone I meet on dating apps seems to think we’re an item after anything physical happens and if I say I don’t want to be monogamous I lose them and I’m really tired of having to navigate defining relationships super explicitly and feeling like maybe I’m just a creep for feeling this way yet I see people online who seem to have worked out the types of relationships I want. (Obviously not everyone feels this way and I’m not saying people should do stuff they’re not consensual with i just find it odd that pretty much every queer person I’ve encountered the entirety of college has this strict monogamous friend/dating divide mindset) Any advice on finding more accepting queer spaces, or even if maybe I’m just missing something or haven’t read the right doctrine or whatever?

i completely understand the frustration and loneliness that comes with not knowing where to find queer spaces and people accepting of/wanting a fwb. to be perfectly honest, i just got lucky with my personal experience.

i live in a very small conservative town. i don’t know any queer people or spaces that are near me. my queer “space” and friends are in the bigger cities hours away from me. i rarely get to see them irl.

i was however, able to meet wonderful people online as well. one of the people i’ve come to know was open to the idea of a fwb with me. we had been in a romantic relationship before, so the idea of just being platonically sexual came up pretty naturally.

you are definitely not a creep for wanting strictly sexual relationships! i’m just not sure i’m the right person to ask about this. i do have experience with them, yeah, and im happy to voice my support! im just not great at finding them aside from my own single experience.

i’m sorry to hear about your negative experience, and i hope things get easier for you my friend 💖

[inkycherie]

Soft Asks

I came across this tag years ago, and had it saved on my drafts for the longest time. Only realised now that the original blog (sunnysideanon) has been deactivated.

What song makes you feel better ? I’ve currently had Seabird on repeat for months

Feel-good movie ? I have a bunch of ‘em : Julie & Julia, Under the Tuscan Sun, The Parent Trap (on rainy days), Chef, You’ve Got Mail, and It’s Complicated

Favourite candle scent ? Spring / Summer : Jo Malone Peony & Blush Suede. Autumn / Winter : True Grace Portobello Oud

Flower you’d like to be given ? I love peonies and baby’s breath

Who do you most feel you around ? My sisters and my best friend

Three physical / and three non-physical things you like about yourself : I have beautiful expressive eyes, gorgeous curly locks, and great legs. I am kind, I love deeply, and I sing really well

What colours bring you peace ? Very earthy tones - terra cotta, muted greens, caramel, beige, and black

Tag people who make you feel good. On instagram : @/bananaramafish, @/paloames, @/valglpineda

What calms you down ? Jazz and coffee, and phone calls with family

Something you’re excited for ? Springtime ! And Flying back home in August

Ideal date ? Simple picnic by the lake, playing our favourite music, or staying inside a cabin on a snowy winter’s day

How are you ? I’m doing well, but currently very homesick

Comfort food ? Corned beef, fried eggs, and rice :)

Feel-good shows ? Boy Meets World, The Golden Girls, RPDR, As Told by Ginger

Compliment the person who sent you this number. I just answered everything by choice lol

Fairy light or LED lights ? Fairy lights

Do you still love stuffed animals ? I like them

Most important thing in your life ? Family is always my number 1. But coming in close second is my job which I just love sooo much.  I’ve been working really hard, and finally, I’m able to find my place in the company, and I am truly going really far in my career.

What do you want most in the world right now ? I want my family to fly to Switzerland so I can show them around, cook meals for them, drink wine with them, take photographs, and enjoy every single minute.

If you could tell your past self something, what would it be ? I am proud of you. After everything that’s happened, you’ve stayed true to yourself, and you never let the harshness of the world turn your heart cold.

What would you say to your future self ? We’re going really far, you and me. Let’s keep this smile up - everybody loves it :)

Favourite piece of clothing ? My Deiji Studios lounge wear(s)

Something you do to de-stress ? I take a long, hot bath

Best personal gift someone could give you ? I love written letters. Also I make songs for the most special people in my life, so it’d be nice to have songs written for me

Movie you’d like to live in ? I’d like to be in a Wes Anderson film just to see how Wes would portray me. How he’d see me in his eyes. But, tbh this is a tough one. For travel, food, and anything lovely, I’d love to live in Under the Tuscan Sun. Or maybe Mama Mia cos I looove Greece. But to relive my childhood memories, definitely Harry Potter minus the scary stuff lol

Which character would you want to be ? I haven't decided yet

Hugs or hand-holding ? Hugs

Morning, Afternoon, or Night ? Morning

Something that reminds you of home ? Definitely songs : Reminiscing - LRB, Our House - CSN, and Inside & Out - Feist

[paalove]

Hello. I want to request a prompt for jealous ink and pa. Other than that i also want jealous sam and mon. Hope that the end will be they confess to each other and heavy session lol. Thank you.

hiiiiii so the sam/mon prompt is still ongoing - i'm aiming for next week? but that will be a little bit more like the ending you want haha

for NOW have fluffy jealous!inkpaa

also on ao3

“I’m not sulking,” Paa lies right to Ink’s face.

Ink pouts back at her in a way that’s mostly mimicking Paa’s usual pout, because Ink knows those are effective, and she says, “But you aren’t eating the cake, and you played your sad playlist in the car, and,” punctuated with a tap to Paa’s down-tilted chin, “You aren’t even looking at me.”

Shrugging and sitting further back in the chair – meaning Ink won’t be able to tap her chin – Paa just makes a grumpy little noise.

Chewing the inside of her lip, Ink thinks.

Her main problem is that she doesn’t know why Paa’s sad.

If it were one of the usual things – Pat fighting with their dad, a class that’s too hard, some guy who hasn’t got the memo about Paa not being single – Paa would have told her. Paa always tells her, normally right away! Ink’s always getting despondent little hamster-stickers to her phone in the middle of the day, because Paa’s pouty and sweet and loves complaining loudly and with relish.

That means it’s something unusual that’s upsetting Paa, but that’s where Ink’s detective work is hitting a dead end.

No fights with any of her friends, Ink’s pretty sure, because since Paa got all quiet and preoccupied (six days ago is when Ink noticed, but she’d had an essay and an article to submit the same week just before so she can’t rule out that Paa’s been sad for longer than that, and that’s upsetting too) she’s been texting all her same group chats.

No fights with Pat either – Ink asked.

It doesn’t seem like a non-Pat issue with her family.

But nothing much gets to Paa like this, and Ink’s kind of lost, and she brought Paa out to this café for the specific purpose of cheering her up.

The café isn’t Paa’s very favourite but it’s up there, and it’s pretty expensive so they don’t get out to it often, so it is a special treat that should get Paa smiling.

This is a very serious problem; Ink has to solve it.

Resolved, she carefully positions a bite of her own cake onto her fork and holds it out to Paa across the table, saying, “Okay. If you’re not sulking, try the cake. It’s ‘orange velvet’, I can’t tell what that really means though. Don’t you want to try?”

She watches Paa’s face closely as she presses her lips together and glances away from Ink and she feels more nervous than the situation really warrants, probably, but it feels important.

“Mm. Alright,” Paa eventually says.

Ink doesn’t have a lot of time to be relieved about that victory, because Paa takes the fork from Ink’s hand after saying that.

The whole fork.

She doesn’t lean forwards to take the bite like she always, always does, she just grabs the fork and takes a dainty bite and now Ink realises that there’s a whole type of situation she hasn’t even been considering when trying to figure out what’s upsetting Paa – she’s mad at her.

Or at least upset with her.

It’s got to do with Ink, that much is clear, but they haven’t had a fight – maybe she’s been lonely while Ink’s been busy? But things have cleared up over the past week and Paa normally cheers up pretty fast-

She’s lost.

At least the bite of Ink’s cake seems to have reminded Paa how much she loves the café – she turns to her own plates and starts taking her usual, methodical approach to having multiple cakes. A bite from one, a bite from the other, a cute little frown when she realises she’s taken a bigger bite from one than the other so she’ll balance that out on the next pair of bites…

Okay, she’s still not looking at Ink, but that’s normal for when there’s really good cake involved.

The success is only partial, but Ink will take the win; she starts on her own cake now that Paa’s had the first bite.

Of course, she has to eat with her fingers, Paa not having seen fit to give her back the fork, but that’s fine – the cake isn’t super crumbly or anything, she can work with this.

About halfway through it, she sees the little smile on Paa’s face and thinks, opening.

With a sigh, she allows herself to slump over the cake as she says, “This is such good cake… if only my girlfriend would talk to me, so we could talk about how good the cake is, that would be great,” feeling only, like, a little bit stupid.

It’s worth it, though, Paa giggling in response.

“P’Ink,” she complains, “You don’t want to talk about the cake, though.”

Poking her in the chin again, Ink says, “That’s right. Tell me why you’re sad, huh?”

Paa looks away, but she doesn’t lean back again, instead reaching up to take Ink’s hand and loosely intertwine their fingers.

“It’s stupid,” she says to their hands.

Ink shakes her head immediately.

With a smile and a shy glance at Ink for the first time, Paa says, “No, really, I’m just… I just want to stop thinking about it so I don’t want to talk about it.”

That makes Ink feel bad.

“But we normally talk about-“

“-I’m upset you put your Instagram on private.”

Ink did just put her Instagram on private, and she knows Paa was kind of anxious about that but, “We talked about how most people in my field-“

“-I know, P’Ink, but you only just did it now,” and then she trails off to a mumble as she adds, “Right after writing that article with P’Song.”

That makes even less sense than the Instagram thing, which is at least an issue that they’ve talked about, and Ink squints and leans forward in confusion, pulling their joined hands closer to her and trailing her sleeve in the remaining cake.

Paa reads it on her face, bites her lip, and says, “P’Song’s really fashionable and you said she’s done all that cool, journalism stuff? Because she went back to do her masters degree after working abroad. And that lunch at her place was so fancy and her apartment’s fancy too and she’s so tall.”

Over the course of the explanation Ink goes through a variety of emotions – she moves from confusion to realisation to fond amusement, because Paa’s jealous? Jealous of Ink and Song, when their working styles are so different that some of their classmates were worried they’d kill each other when they were assigned the article together?

But the amusement stops very abruptly at the final line.

“You think she’s tall?”

Paa likes tall girls.

“She’s at least two inches shorter than-“

“P’Ink.”

[quickspinner]

May the road trip be peaceful and have good scenery.

For the fanfic ask game how about 5 (in general), 7 & 8 for Indelible, and a non list question, which WIP have you enjoyed writing for the most recently?

Ask me about a WIP!

Thank you for the road wishes friend! 

5. How do you feel about posting chapters before the fic is finished (with this one and/or in general)?

I usually can't make it to the end of a multichap fic without posting. When deadlines are not an issue, I try not to post until I'm at least halfway done and have a reasonable expectation of being able to finish. For exchanges or birthday gifts I get myself into trouble usually have less finished. Usually somewhere after the halfway point I stall a bit and flounder, so posting helps me get some encouragement and feedback and accountability for finishing. I have had a couple of occasions (Beautiful Dreams) (Indelible) where a fic turned out to be bigger than I initially planned and it turned out it wasn't as much at the halfway done point as I thought. 😂 

7. Do you listen to music while writing your WIP? If so, what? Do you have a playlist?

I do listen to music, but I don’t have a playlist for this WIP. Sorry I know I’m really boring. 😂 I listen mostly to Pandora stations, and I pick which one based on what kind of scene I’m working on. I think the last chapter was the Pink (the artist, not the color) station, and I had another one seeded with What if I Was Nothing I think. Sometimes I make playlists for WIPs, I just haven’t felt moved to do so for this fic. 

8. Does your WIP have a Pinterest board or anything similar? If it does and you want to, link it!

This isn’t really part of my process, I don’t usually make a visual reference. Making a playlist is about all I do, and I don’t even always do that. Occasionally I look up dress ideas or something like that, and when I do I generally link them in the individual chapters, but it just doesn’t occur to me to make a board for it. I had a couple for Indelible, because hair and clothes descriptions are hard for me so I did some image searches for inspiration.

Here’s the qipao wedding dress Marinette’s New Year’s dress was based on.

Here’s the hair and dress I used as inspiration for her New York look.

That’s all the visual references I have for Indelible at the moment!

Which WIP have you enjoyed writing for the most recently?

I’ll be honest with you, everything feels like a bit of a slog right now. 😆 Time has been so limited, I’ve been really focusing on Indelible because I feel like I can taste the end at this point--even though when I sit down and think about what I have to write, it seems like a lot, I am comparatively close to the end, and I’m both eager to write the reconciliation and fluff and makeouts, and worried that I won’t get the complicated relationship dynamics across properly and people will be disappointed or unsatisfied. 

But before I can get there I have to do the really depressing stuff and that’s difficult. 😂 And as usual I’ve made things more difficult on myself by sticking to one single POV, so I can’t put the reader inside Marinette’s head and explain right now what is going on in there, it all has to wait until Luka figures it out and/or they talk through it. Min ( @mintaka14 ) has been my cheerleader and sounding board and really helped me keep perspective. Having writing 

I love the story, and I love seeing the readers react to it, and I’m really excited to get to the emotional stuff at the end, and I am still absolutely getting joy out of this fic, but the process of writing it feels a little painful right now. 

I’m also working on my LBSC sprint secret santa fic, and while it’s fun and the prompt is right up my alley, I’m sweating the deadline a bit and fighting my overthinking brain about how to fit it all together. 😆 

I’m kind of eyeing the library meet cute fic and thinking I might work on that a bit in the next couple weeks as a treat, so even though I’m not actively working on it at the moment, can I count that? 😂 This month has been really hectic with doctors (all good news!) and gatherings and family birthdays and all, so I think I’m just tired all around. I will not be sorry to see 2022 out the door, I must say. 

[pagepainter]

Triggers

Lately I’ve just been trying to figure things out - my feelings, my thought process, the opinions I have of the world and of people. It’s been so draining, having to do all these at once. I want to take one thing at a time, but all of these aspects are interconnected, one way or another.

I haven’t been able to get the chance to step into my feelings and understand why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling, mainly because I’ve been trying to rationalize the situations at hand. I realize that I have a habit of suppressing my emotions, a process I do it so often it eventually becomes emotional repression - I did not realize (until recently) that whenever I feel upset, I’d automatically go onto social media because I want to avoid feeling what I’m feeling, I’d hang out with friends to forget the sadness and the pain, I’d go for a long run to vent my emotions, but these feelings just keep coming back. They never leave entirely. I hate to deal with them, but I realize that there’s no choice but to come face to face with them and find the root of the trigger because they’ve been affecting me mentally, more than I would have thought. Now I would just sit down and process my emotions, and identify what caused the trigger, why I get triggered, and what I should do to help me regulate my feelings.

I read somewhere in a post from Tumblr (or probably on another social media platform lol I feel like I have lost track of the source of information, it really shows how much screen time I spend on social media) that says something along the lines of ‘you’ll only start to change when you’re able to accept the hard truths that you received about yourself.’ There have been a lot of critiques I have received from the people I care about, and I’m not one to take critiques negatively, because I do appreciate these critiques to be pointed out to me so I can work on them and be more self-aware of my flaws, and I know that working on self-development is non-linear, some days can feel discouraging, while some days I feel like I see progress in myself, but it’s especially when I see myself falling back to square one, I can’t help but think why I’m brought up the way I was brought up, why I’m born into this family, why I’m brought up to think this way or that way. Is it a natural reflex, and I have not changed? Will I be able to change my mindset and make that change permanent, or would all these effort to change go down the drain? Would life have been easier if I was brought up in a more supportive family, brought up to have a more open mind and better mindset - being less judgmental, giving non-generalized statements, being more mature intellectually - would I have been able to handle life’s difficulties easier with that ‘better mindset’? Or would the problems be different, or probably difficult in an another aspect that challenges the hypothetically ‘better mindset’ that I wished I had?

I find that all of my own flaws lie in the way that I have been brought up, and the way that my parents and I handle arguments have formed the way that I now handle arguments. I hate conflict, so I would always try to avoid it. Whenever I need to get their permission for something (i.e, an outing or a book) I would always have to read their body language and infer from the tone they use towards me to gauge for myself whether it was the right moment to ask, and I have been subconsciously doing that for every single interaction I have with the people I care about. I get hesitant, I withdraw, I ponder over the thought so much I overthink about every single hypothetical consequence that could potentially result from just me asking. However, whenever an argument does surface, I realize that I would shut down, I would give very vague descriptions of situations when I’m placed under interrogation, and now I’ve become unclear and unspecific in my conversations, even when I am not arguing. I make assumptions just to be told that I should have asked to clarify to begin with. I’m carrying all these into my conversations with the people I care about, and I’m causing more conflict and hurt than comfort. It hurts me to see that I’m not giving them peace and comfort, but I’m adding to their burdens.

Whenever I get hurt or upset, I try not to show it, I don’t verbalize it, I suppress them, I become avoidant, my replies become shorter, more vague, and when it gets overwhelming, I burst and throw a tantrum, and things end up worse. I wasn’t given the space to process my emotions and talk out my feelings, every time it’s just shouts and yelling over one another to get each other’s points across. They listen to reply, they don’t listen to understand. Now I’ve learnt to verbalize my emotions, but it’s still hard. I get embarrassed and ashamed for feeling a certain type of way, but I’m getting better at it. It’s only fair to the other person for knowing how I am feeling because I wouldn’t want to create misunderstandings in the relationship. I can manage my anger better now, especially in the moment, because learning to be calm and collected helps me to make sound arguments, and logical ones too.

I’m taking steps to become the version I want to be, and progress isn’t linear, but I won’t give up. I think it’s best for me to just distance myself and work on myself until I have become that version I want to be so desperately. Hopefully by then, I’d be better at communicating and have a more mature mindset.

[niermortem]

TW// VENT POST

I hate venting but god it has been plaguing me for months and I am at a low point; I know it’s not me that’s the problem but I can’t help but feel that way.

They look at me differently now, smile at me different. This always happens. I feel like I am doomed by the narrative.

Sometimes I think it’s my fault for indulging in my needs of comfort and to trust someone. But as a autistic non-passing trans ace aro man it’s just so hard. Dating apps aren’t designed for non-allo people. I can’t hook up. Friends don’t fill that requirement but I don’t know how to suggest relationship anarchy/QPPs to allos.

Even though it hurts, I can’t help but miss the way they held me. The way they looked at me without a single shred of expectation - just lovingly. The way they held me through an episode where I was overwhelmed and kissed my forehead. It was all non-sexual and I felt so loved and enough.

It hurts to relive those memories. I grasp onto fleeting moments of intimacy because it’s just so rare for me. I guess it’s my fault for letting my ‘guard down’ but they always used to text me, to hold my hand, but not anymore. Things are different now and I feel so used. They’re talking to someone else and their attention is entirely on them and I wonder if this always meant to happen. Of course, they’re still my friend. I value them as one. But I’m not a dog that’ll sit and wait for fucking scraps. This has taken such a toll, I haven’t been attending lectures recently. And I relapsed after being about 2.5 years clean of SH. This all feels like one big joke. They promised they would be long-term. That they’d talk more. I’ve been left on delivered for 1.5 months. God.

It took me months but after reading 18th century etiquette books, mc-Graw hill social guides, and other resources I felt that I’ve been able to mask my autistic traits and be more ‘normal’. But with the way people socially categorize me I don’t think it’s working. Sometimes I think of dropping everything that makes me ‘me’ and being normal; no vampire goth things, strange hobbies, anything. I’ve been considering cosmetic surgery too. I was told the other day that to ‘get’ people, you have to be either cool or attractive - and I’ve got ‘one of them down’ (asking for clarification on which, I was told the ‘cool’ aspect). I don’t make a pretty girl but I don’t pass as a guy. I don’t even want to look masculine. If I just. Stopped being trans then maybe things would change. Stopped being so weird. I don’t know. Skipping class today.

[saudade-asylum]

seeing as how quarantine is about to end for me (i’m moving back to london for uni on october 3rd) i figured i’d make a bullet list of all the things i’ve done/learnt these past 6 months :)

——its gonna get dark kids——

• i put a brown box dye on my head and i have not been a brunette since 2014. thats 6 years. i hate it but i also like it????

• my depression is a lot worse than i thought :) and i think i may have something else along side that and i am in desperate need of therapy :))))

• if i don’t have false nails on i will immediately bite my nails down to nubs and when i run out of nail i will progress to the skin around my nail bed and further. there is no stopping it. i have begun to like the taste of the stuff that’s meant to make you hate biting your nails

• put on a stone but have lied to everyone and said i have not but my proportions have just shifted??? don’t know why everyone fell for that but hey ho

• my grandmother was into incest :) there is a chance my mum was born via incest :))))) i hate it here

• i started cutting

• i tried monster for the first time (ultra blue) and i really like it

• i don’t deserve friends and so when a minor argument started i decided to use that to cut them all off because i’m a horrible person and i really think they can do better than me but i really miss every friend i’ve ever had so i’ve been stalking instagrams like crazy

• turned 20 and immediately had a minor breakdown and promptly put all my money and effort into kidcore alt fashion

• i cannot have a single conversation about politics with my parents lest we have a horrible argument and i get my feelings hurt via their racist and homophobic comments that they will immediately brush off

• i’m a lesbian, i’ve identified as lit rally every label i could before i figured it out. even labelling myself as a trans guy and ace through a super cheeky combination of compulsory heteronormativity and not understanding what a real friendship is due to all my toxic ass ex friends and thinking every boy crush was a crush when i just wanted to hang out with them. rip (ace people are still cool though and i love them all they’re like the family of your ex gf who you still love and hang out with)

• i tried the pink monster and it’s fucking RANK

• i spent over £2000 (my student loan) this lockdown on useless mindless shit of which includes colouring books i haven’t used, a mini fridge, a shit ton of earrings, a shit ton of takeaways, every sims expansion pack, and several plush animals

• told my parents that i’d spent over £2000 and started sobbing so now they seem to be taking the mental health thing a bit more seriously and have agreed to let me go see my mates in london and pay for it which is actually nice :)

• my mate had to cancel and none of my other mates wanted to see me / weren’t in the area the one day i was down so instead i walked around for so long that both of my heels burst open

• i have left my hair brown the whole lockdown but now i’m going back to art uni in london and now im thinking i need to dye it something cool or no one will be able to tell i’m a) gay b) actually arty or they’ll just think i’m a background character and no one will talk to me

• since my last bullet point about weight i have gained another 1/2 stone and am now 17 stone. i have 47 days till i go back to uni and i’m not really sure what to do. i think if i could get back to my initial weight of 15 stone before i go back i’d be ecstatic but i’m not sure how realistic that is? i’ve done diets in the past that have let me lose a stone but not sure how to do it now cause i’m veggie??

• it’s my fault my mums in pain because if i wasn’t greedy and going to uni then they’d have the money to pay for my mums knee replacement and she’d be able to get a better job and make friends in a non toxic work environment

• the only reason my parents aren’t getting a divorce is because it’s too expensive - according to my mum

• i’ve given up on the whole losing weight thing because i’m honestly too fucking sad to stop using food to fill any disappointment in myself. it’s actually incredibly difficult to stop eating

• since saying i was giving up on dieting i’ve actually ended up eating less??? not sure what my brains doing up there but hey ho i’m liking the development

• started crying when a minecraft streamer said i was smart for a suggestion i made (wasn’t even minecraft related)

[keefwho]

April 01 - 2023

8:36 PM

I’m really confused about my “sex” life. I don’t know who wants what, I don’t know who wants me. I don’t know what I want from others. I don’t know if it even matters. I’m I really a sexual person or am I forcing myself to be? Or living based on how I used to be in the past? It must be important to me if I’m stressing so much about it. 

I’m too used to being surrounded by absolute horndogs that entertain every single urge I have. And they would eat up the art I made like crazy. But now I’m around tamer individuals and maybe I haven’t adjusted yet. I’m starting to feel like I’m too much of a perv but I want to believe my urges are what they are and it’s fine if I deal with them in a non-problematic way. I dont’ know what to do. Maybe I should talk about it? Or maybe it’s actually just a me problem. I’m starting to feel uncertain drawing porn for friends or even myself sometimes. Maybe I should stop until I figure this out. Or only stick to ideas that I don’t feel so iffy about. Im just so confused. 

Its so fucking STUPID that this is even an issue. I do not feel valid feeling this way about sex. I’m angry at myself that I might be a source of stress for anyone else when it comes to this. I REALLY don’t want to suppress myself but if I’m going to end up pushing people away with my fucking boner then I’ll keep it to myself. Maybe I am just a creepy little perv. FUCK

9:03 PM

I just miss when things were simpler. Kind of. I know things I had in the past weren’t good. They were limiting to my character and even kind of toxic. I was a much more unstable and underdeveloped person in the past. But in my denial, some things at least felt more simple. Good even. Now I’m having to work to claw myself back up to a place where things are truly stable and healthy. In the meantime, every day is it’s own struggle. I face new problem after new problem and frequent loneliness. Sometimes I lament at how much better I seemed in the past and all the relationships I’ve left behind. I feel guilt. I feel selfish. It’s hard to believe things can and will improve. I feel like I hit my peak and I’ve been falling off for years. 

9:40 PM

I just had a little fit before. Nothing is really as bad as it seems or I make out to be. Earlier I was just mad at everything. But there are some simple truths to keep in mind. I have some problems with my sex life. There are things I know I want to do but bring me uncertainty/make me uncomfortable with how they currently are. They have to be addressed somehow. It would not be a good thing to shut it all out. 

10:16 PM

Im sad I spent all evening sulking. I wish I had opened a drink and got in VR like I wanted. Too late for that though. 

Its ME. IM THE PROBLEM. I ALWAYS FORGET. I CANNOT ACCEPT/LOVE MYSELF SO I CANT FEEL THAT FROM ANYONE ELSE. I need to get that into my own dense skull. I can fix me and things will be better. 

When I’m lonely, all I have left is my art and imagination. Its been awhile since I’ve used art as a coping mechanism. Mostly because I struggle to focus enough to immerse myself. I’d like to be able to do that again. It would also help to make content that involves show based character instead of just my own OC all the time. Would be good for business.