#I haven’t actually gone to Europe but I would

[igni-ard-bladeandbard]

Yes but it’s so hard to MEET THOSE PEOPLE, unless you are on this accursed website but even then people don’t aggressively try to befriend each other even when you are matched evenly in tastes

why do ppl do drugs when you can just experience the absolute high of meeting someone who isn’t just unhinged about your fandom but is also feral about your otps

[lon3rlife]

Why wasn’t I invited?

Rick Sanchez x Fem!Reader

You and some friends go on a trip, but Rick can’t stand to be away from you (Aka Rick being clingy and soft for once)

You’re in your apartment doing some last minute packing that you have been procrastinating on for days. You go through your closet trying to figure out how you’re going to fit a week of clothes into 1 suitcase and a carry on bag. As you throw some clothes onto your bed that you’ll fold later, you turn to see a green portal appear and your boyfriend walking into the room rambling on about something that you’re to busy to even be paying attention to.

“Woah baby it looks like a fucking tornado went through this place. Why the hell are you packing a suitcase? Where are we going?” He asks taking a quick swig out of his flask

“What do you mean we? I’ve been telling you about this trip for weeks.” You say annoyed that he obviously didn’t listen when you were going on about your excitement for your trip. You and some old friends are going to Europe for a week on a girls trip, you are actually pretty excited to get away for a bit and spend some time catching up with people you haven’t seen in years.

“Wait-where are you going? Why wasn’t I invited? Who’s going to be going? How long are you going for? When do you leave?” He spits out a million questions at once

“Did you seriously not listen to me when I was telling you?” You say aggravated as you attempt to fit more clothes into your already full suitcase

“N-no I didn’t, I was doing something important and I didn’t think you would be going without me.” He continues on but you’re to annoyed to deal with him right now.

“Listen I’m leaving tomorrow morning can you at least drive me to the airport?” You ask in a final attempt to resolve this situation.

“Y-yeah of course. Can I spend the night tonight? I mean I haven’t gone two days without seeing you since we met and I don’t know how I’ll be able to sleep without you.”

As you fall asleep you hear Rick mumble something about not wanting you to leave, but you’re too tired to be able to fully make out what it was.

The alarm goes off at 6am sharp. You try to get up but Ricks arms are firmly wrapped around your waist with his face nuzzled into your hair.

“Rick come on the plane leaves in an hour and a half.” You say secretly enjoying this rare moment of affection.

“Five minutes.” He mumbles

“Two”

“Fine”

You lay down closing your eyes for a minute and turn to face him. You give him a quick kiss and pull yourself off of him, and rush to the bathroom to get ready and make sure you have everything.

After some hustling around the apartment to get everything you need Rick sleepily gets out of bed and you guys drive to the airport. As he’s driving you he’s very quiet. You’re not to surprised at his silence due to his anxiety over you leaving but it still worries you a bit.

“Well I’ve really got to go.” You say giving Rick a gentle kiss goodbye as the final call for your plane is announced.

He wraps you in a very firm but gentle hug, resting his chin on your head.

“Im going to miss you.” He says as you walk off

The trip is great. You catch up with people you haven’t seen in years, you get to visit places you’ve always wanted to, you spend way to much money getting souvenirs for Rick and the Smith family, and get time to relax alone as well.

Being in a relationship with Rick is not easy. You guys are constantly on an adventure or working on something new. It’s pretty nice to not have to worry about yours, your boyfriend, or his grandsons life being threatened for once and you have time just to relax and have a bit of fun.

By day 4 of the trip though, you’re pretty exhausted. The constant sightseeing and social interaction is pretty tough, but you’re still having a great time. You go to bed around 8 to catch up on some well needed rest.

You don’t know what time it was, but it was very late. Your friend who you’re sharing a room with is sound asleep on the pull out couch in the room.

Out of the darkness of the room an all to familiar sound of the glowing green portal appeared out of the pitch black of the room.

“Rick what the hell are you doing here???” You whisper scream trying not to wake your sleeping friend up.

“I haven’t been able to sleep without you. Please can I stay here for the night I’ll be out before anyone wakes up and if your friend wakes up I’ll erase her memory no big deal.” He says way too casually.

“Jesus Rick. Okay just tonight, and you have to be up before she wakes up.” You say still disoriented and tired.

As your eyes adjust to the darkness some more and by the faint glow of the moon you can see the sleep deprivation and stress on Rick’s face even more so than usual. The second he gets into the bed he wraps his arms around you he practically melts into you. You feel his muscles relax and his breathing slow. His arms resting on your lower abdomen and he’s asleep almost instantly. You feel a little sad seeing him curled up on you sleeping so peacefully after obviously not being good mentally for the past few days. After a bit of laying down sinking in this moment you end up drifting off.

You awake abruptly just as the sun is about to rise hoping that your friend didn’t wake up, but you open your eyes to find her still passed out on the couch. You turn to face Rick, who is sound asleep lightly snoring with his long arms still wrapped around you.

“Rick you need to get up.” You say in a loud whisper.

“Mhm.” He grunts sleepily

“Seriously Rick you can’t just crash a girls trip unannounced.”

He pulls you closer and you try to figure out a way to get him out of the bed before your friend wakes up.

“How about we go walk down the street, get some breakfast and watch the sunrise?” You say desperately hoping that will get him up

“Okay.” He says finally opening his eyes

You guys head down to the café to get some breakfast and sit out on a park bench to watch the sunrise.

You check your phone to realize you have completely lost track of time and was supposed to meet your friends in the hotel lobby 15 minutes ago.

“Shit Rick I really need to leave. Please take care of yourself I’ll be home in 3 days, and then we can spend as much time together as you want.” You say rushing to get your stuff together

“Orrr I can just meet you tonight?” Rick asks hopefully, with a face you really can’t resist.

“Okay but you need to leave before sunrise.” You say giving him a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying to meet your friends.

[moremaybank]

BACK FOR YOU — r.c

day four second chance with rafe cameron

pairing rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary months after your failed long distance relationship, rafe begins to send you love letters in an attempt to win you back.

warnings one allusion to sex closer to the end, but nothing else. just a lil angst and hella fluff. oh, and some language.

author’s note hi my loves, i’d really appreciate if you read this because i haven’t written a piece like this in a very long time and i’m actually really proud of it ♡︎ thank you ily

obx week ‘23 masterlist ;; rafe masterlist

Dear Y/N,

Hey. I know it’s been awhile, and I know that it’s weird — writing you like this. But something happened the other day, and I wanted to tell you about it. 

I was in the grocery store with Wheeze, picking up some cupcakes for her class bake sale because none of us actually know how to bake (which you know). When we got to the bakery section, I saw chocolate-covered strawberries, and I immediately thought of you. Remember how we used to go star-gazing? We’d pile the back of my pickup with pillows and those thick-ass, furry blankets from Costco, get all cozy, and you’d bring those chocolate-covered strawberries that you’d spent the day making just for me. You’d feed ‘em to me, grinning when I’d instantly chase your hand for another bite. And then afterward, you’d cuddle into me, and we’d just lay there, looking at the stars. You’d get this wondrous look in your eyes, like you’d never seen anything so beautiful. I had though. I got to look at you every day, and you beat the stars by a long shot.

Anyway, I ran into your mom at the club earlier. She told me that you were travelling, visiting every place you possibly could in Europe. Sounds like you. I bet you went to Greece first, you’ve had an obsession with it since you were fifteen. I know I always talked about taking you there. Who knows, maybe I still can. 

I miss you. Did I mention that? ‘Cause I do. I miss you all the time. 

Yours, 

Rafe

Dear Y/N, 

You didn’t answer that last letter, and that’s fine. I understand why. I never said how sorry I was for everything that happened last year, never really explained. But I will now.

I’m so sorry for how I ended things. Every day, I woke up at school, far away from you. It ached me to not wake up to you. To not see you every second of the day. To not hold your hand or see you smile as soon as you saw me. 

I missed everything. The smell of your lavender shampoo. Your hands running through my hair when I was stressed. You’d always kiss the frown off my face and fix everything just by telling me you loved me. The nights you’d call me when you couldn’t sleep because you needed to hear my voice. That cute little giggle you’d do after you’d been laughing for awhile. The way you’d look at me when you told me you loved me. There wasn’t a single reminder of you that didn’t constantly play on a loop in my head, that didn’t buzz deep in my veins. But I felt such a large void in my heart without you around, and I thought that if I broke things off with you that it would go away. But in the months since then, it’s only grown. Only gotten worse. I don’t think I’ll ever survive losing you. 

I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you open it, and maybe decide to write me back. No pressure, though. 

Yours always,

Rafe

Dear Y/N, 

I don’t know if you’re getting sick of these. I really hope you aren’t. I gotta admit, writing to you makes me feel like we’re still connected. I still think we are. At least, on my end, we are. 

Life’s been really crazy, lately. Ward’s getting ready to hand Cameron Development over to me. Every day he tells me that he hopes I won’t run the damn thing into the ground while he’s gone, travelling with Rose. I honestly don’t know why he would let me run things when he obviously doesn’t have an ounce of faith in me. You always told me that his love didn’t have to be earned, and I’ve always known that you were right, but it really feels like I’ll never have it. I wish you were here. You always make things better. 

Anyway, I’m on the road to Raleigh, and I can’t help but think about our crazy road trip last summer. We had no freakin’ clue where we were going, but honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with you. Your infectious laughter and your terrible singing along to All Too Well (the ten minute version, obviously) is what kept me going that entire drive. That, and when you’d shower me with kisses all over my cheek when you got bored. I loved that shit. 

I’ve been missing you like hell. I’ve already said this, but I really wish you were here. You’d make all this work worth it. ‘Cause, as of right now, I don’t really know why I’m doing all this. You aren’t here, and we don’t have the family we’d always dreamed about. Hopefully that changes in the near future. 

Yours (until my heart stops beating), 

Rafe

Dear Y/N, 

A little birdie by the name of Sarah let it slip that you’ve been keeping my letters. Truth is, I sent her to spy on you.

Okay, I didn’t. But I had you for a sec, didn’t I? 

I only know you have them because I begged her for hours to tell me how you were doing, and if you talked about me. Even then, I had to bribe her by saying I’d babysit the kids for an entire weekend so her and John B could go on a couples getaway. Totally worth it. 

Oh, and they threw me a party at work. Apparently I beat out Ward for some record. I don’t even remember what it’s called now. I had so much cake that I went into a sugar coma. It was red velvet, cream cheese icing. Your favourite. That’s probably why I ate so much. You’d go back for it so many times that by the time you were full, I’d be finishing all the rest. 

You still haven’t written me back, but that’s alright. Do it when you’re ready. If you’re ready. Again, no pressure. 

Anyway, I’m sitting here on my couch watching Gilmore Girls. Yes, I finally got around to watching it. I know you begged me to for ages and we never actually got the chance to do it, but it popped up on my ‘recommended’ the other day and I decided to give it a try. You were right. This show’s freakin’ hilarious. I swear Lorelai Gilmore is the reason you were always so witty with me. She’s so quick on her feet, it blows my mind. Also, please tell me that Rory becomes enjoyable again. I miss her Chilton days. I miss her and Jess. Does he ever come back? And please tell me that Luke and Lorelai are endgame. I mean, the horoscope!!! The man waited eight years for her. People probably thought he was crazy for doing so, but I get it. I’d wait centuries if it meant I got to end up with you. 

Yours (until the end of time),

Rafe

Dear Y/N, 

I’ve written you so many letters, I hope I’m not taking up too much space at your place. Hey, that rhymed. I should be a rapper. All right, I could never be a rapper. This is why I need you. You keep my delusional mind in check. 

The other day, I was on the ferry, riding over to the mainland, and when we reached, I swear I almost started driving to your house. Obviously, I didn’t. I chickened out. I thought about walking up to your doorstep, watching you open the door, and even dream-you was way too beautiful for me to handle. I almost gave myself a heart attack. One day, though, I’ll work up the courage. I wanna see you so badly, it’s killing me. 

Can I tell you something? I have this dream sometimes, more often than not. It takes place back when we were still in college. Instead of ending things between us, I drop everything and run to you. The journey takes all day long, but I don’t care. I make my way to you, and once I find you, I pull you into my arms and kiss the life out of you. You ask me what’s gotten into me, and I respond by saying that I never want to live without you. That being away from you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, and that life isn’t worth living if I’m not by your side. I get down on one knee, pull out a big ass rock from my pocket, and ask you to marry me. And you say yes. Every. Damn. Time. 

The reason I’m saying all this is because I want to give you a fair warning. I’m going to make that happen someday. Sure, we aren’t in school anymore, and we aren’t even together right now, but I don’t care. We’re going to end up together. I know it, and you know it. I promise you, Y/N, I’m going to come back for you. And when I do, I’ll never leave you again. The only place I ever want to be is right by your side, in our huge house that I’m going to build for us, with our kids running around and chasing our dog. The house will smell like a bakery all the time because of your huge sweet tooth, and it’ll most likely be a mess because we won’t be able to keep up with our crazy ass kids. But we’ll be together. And we’ll stay that way until we’re all old and grey. And I might be pushing it by saying this, but I’ll still be taking you to bed every night, ‘cause I know in my heart that you’ll still be getting me all bricked up even in our nineties. Please don’t hate me for saying that. 

Yours forever,

Rafe

You placed the last letter back into its envelope and added it to your large collection. Your heart warmed at Rafe’s declaration. You’d been rereading that one letter for a month now. You missed him terribly. You’d tried to write to him so many times, but each time you’d started, you just couldn’t go through with it. Your fear consumed you. You were petrified of the thought that once you opened yourself up again, Rafe would find another reason to leave you. You’d always known that it was hard for him to walk away from you, but it hurt you just the same. If not, more. 

Still, this was a side of him that you’d never seen before. He’d changed in the near year since you’d broken up. You could tell from the way he wrote to you. He’d never been as vulnerable and raw as he had been in those letters. He was bearing his soul to you, something he was always unable to truly do. There was always a small part of him that was closed off, even to you. But that part seemed to have vanished. 

Just as you placed the crate of letters back on your shelf, your doorbell rang. Your heart raced as you approached the door. You opened it, and there, finally, he stood.

Rafe slapped his hand to his heart. “God, I was right. Way too beautiful. Take it easy on me, would you?”

You didn’t answer. Instead, you threw your arms around his neck and practically jumped into his arms. He returned your embrace quickly, squeezing you tightly and keeping you pressed to him as one hand cradled the back of your head. 

After a moment, you hesitantly pulled away, your tears clouding your vision. You opened your mouth to speak, but Rafe beat you to it.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. I love you so much. I—”

You cut him off. “—Shut up and kiss me, fiancé.”

“Fiancé? Yeah? You wanna marry me?”

“Of course I do. You’re still mine, right?”

“Yours,” he confirmed, punctuating it with a kiss. “Always.” Kiss. “Until my heart stops beating.” Kiss. “Until the end of time.” Kiss.

He leaned his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as he let out a content sigh. “Forever.” 

RAFE TAG LIST (JOIN HERE!): @surftrips @oncasette @taintedxkisses @maybankslover @goldenroutledge @penny4yourthoughts @bmo-bri @hemogloban @princessbetsy123-blog @slytherhoes @whoisdrewstarkey @dreamingwithrafe @vigilanteshitposting @twelfthmortalofcrimsonpalace @wildflwrdarlin @adoreyouusugar @f4ll-for-you @tell-me-when-ur-ready @bbycowboi @jjmaybankisbae @jjsbank444 @enhypens-hoe @loverofdrewstarkey @countryclubkook @earth2starkey @angelofcigs @koalalafications @aerangi @cantstoptheimagines @bloody-mf-bsc @maybanksbabe @slut4drudy @dancinglikeaballerina @somerandos-world @shahanaazsoumah @darleneslane @sya-skies @ellabellabus07 @emmalandry @madelynie @urbestieboo @cruzgrecia @l1lactheflower @rafegirly @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @gillybear17 @obaex @abbybarnesstuff @mattyskies

[ryunekoyoarashi]

Just a Vent!

I’m not American; as in no way, shape; or form. But I read an idiot take on FB -of course- where this absolute moron went on a rant about what boils down to: ’how could we let Trump get back in power?! Is this what we want our kids to see as normal?! This bully needs to go!’

I’m like; you brain dead moron! We?! WE?! We haven’t voted for that orange menace; because? We. Are. Not. Americans! Don’t act like we could’ve done crap about any of this! Do you think he’d go ”Oh, no! The people of Europe doesn’t like me! I gotta change everything fast! Or I can’t sleep! Waaaah! I’m disliked! No!!! This has to be fixed!” If we make a protest? The protests of the American people doesn’t change anything, would he listen to NON-Americans? Yeah, right. Do you think if enough prime ministers, or whatever equivalent, goes ”No! Bad Trump! Bad!” and metaphorically swat him with a paper??

(He’s pretty unbothered that barely anyone likes him as evident by his very existence and continued actions)

What the hell do this dumbass expect of people who are not actually in a position to do shit about it? Is that person American or has a citizenship there? I don’t know. But the rest of us can’t influence the votes in a country we are not connected to; that’s not only illegal but immoral and impossible for good reasons.

Like, if YOU have any part in this? Then you can go feel guilty on FB all you want but say that you did or have it directed at your fellows who could’ve made a difference? Fine. But don’t go pointing fingers at everyone else as you just did.

No, I don’t like it any more than any other rational person; that’s not it. Trust me, I hoped I’d never see that Idiot again in any capacity last time; I did so hope he was GONE from the public view forever.

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

The Almost Breakup

note: short but i'm happy with it

also gonna get back into this story soon also if you have thoughts on this au (or any of my aus) please share i love hearing them <3

y/nupdates

liked by CorrodedCoffinStan, lilian_19, and others

y/nupdates: Y/n and Isla (Y/n's boyfriend's daughter) out together going out to dinner and seeming very close, and no Eddie in sight

y/nupdates: Y/n and Isla (Y/n's boyfriend's daughter) out together going out to dinner and seeming very close, and no Eddie in sight

view all comments

emails.tour.11: her and isla bonding is so cute

icarly_: Isla is so pretty

Metalhead_: she's such a slut

13taytay: JOJO!! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!?!

im.a.mirrorball: in her step-mom era

y/nismyqueen: where are y/n's shoes from?? very very important!

for_our_moony: prada i think, but steve madden makes a more affordable

CorrodedCoffinStan: he is to old for her, and now making her act like a mom to his daughter. disgusting.

-

y/nupdates

liked by tswiftfan13, gilmore_girl, and others

y/nupdates: Y/n was out with her new boyfriend, Eddie Munson's son. They went out to lunch together, and this is the first time we've seen them together.

view all comments

dog.loverrr: only 5 years between her and her boyfriends son..

princess.y/n: love seeing her with Leo not just isla

anna.frozen_: my worlds colliding

munson_86: fr been an Eddie fan for years and a Y/n fan since girl meets world

y/nswifey: forever in love with Leo Munson

philly_eagles.fan: i think they should date instead of her and his dad, the age gap is gross

-

Eddie and Y/n have been together for 6 months now, about the time Eddie’s relationships would end, without the women ever meeting his kids and never any ‘I love you’s. But everything was going well, and though Y/n had met Isla when she met Eddie they had gotten really close, and she had now met Leo and despite all expectations that went well. Y/n and Leo had become friends of sorts. But no matter how happy he was, how happy she made him, Eddie started pulling away. He couldn’t help it. He loved her, yes. Not that he’d told her yet. He loved his kids first, and he has to put them first, always will. 

Y/n was now on the international leg of her tour, and they haven’t talked in a while, always seeming to miss each other. This was giving Eddie the space he needs to think about their relationship. Not without zero help from his kids. 

“Is Y/n going to come here after her shows in Europe are over?” Isla asked, pushing her vegetables across her plate with her fork, then picking up her knife to saw the broccoli in two.

“Um- I’m not sure, kid.” The man mumbles, hoping Isla will move on after not getting an answer.

“Why not?”

“Isla-”

“Can you ask-”

“Isla! Finish your dinner, or if you're done take your plate to the kitchen.” Sighing, Isla got up grabbing her plate to the kitchen and stomping upstairs to her room. After hearing the slamming the teens door, Eddie gets up to start loading the dishwasher. Leo, who was over for dinner, like he often did, walked over to his dad, placing his plate next to the sink. Then rounding the island, to sit at a bar stool. 

“So.. What’s with your attitude?” This causes Eddie to look up from his task, giving his son a look that could kill.

“Leo, we're not talking about this.”

“No. We have to. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. You get so sensitive everytime we mention Y/n lately. Are you not talking? Please don’t break up with this one, I actually like her.”

“Leo. I ca-”

“No. You love her! And I guess that scares you, because every relationship you’ve had since mom has had this 6 month timer and that timer has gone off, and you're not ready. Or it scares you that she’s so close to us. And that if you ever break up Isla would be heartbroken.” 

Eddie takes a moment, thinking over what Leo has said, and scarily accurate it is, and since when was Leo that smart?

“Leo?... Could you stay here with Isla for a few days?”

“Yeah.” Leo says, a wide grin spreading across his face.

-

Here Y/n was sitting in her hotel in Paris, staring at her phone, looking at a voicemail Eddie had left. It’s time. He’s going to break up with her; she just knows it. Her and Leo went out a couple weeks ago and he had let slip of Eddie’s 6 month timer on relationships, of course that was followed with Leo’s reassurance that he could feel she was different. But that didn’t cure her anxiety. 

Because since she left for tour, they haven’t talked, like Eddie has been avoiding her. She had written a break-up song about him for fucks sake, they’re not even broken up yet. But now he was going to break up with her, over a voicemail at that. 

Ripping the band-aid off, Y/n finally presses play on the voicemail.

“Hey, Y/n-” God her first name, it’s really happening “-um, I have a lot of this to say, but I can’t say it over the phone. So I’ll talk to you later. I care about you. I know it hasn’t felt like it, and that’s part of what I need to talk about. I just need you to remember that. I care about you. Okay. Bye.”

At least he was planning on letting her down easy. Guess that’s a plus. Pouring herself a glass of wine from the overpriced display hotels have, Y/n sits down at the dining table, staring at the abstract painting across from her. After what felt like an hour of staring, which in actuality it was 10 minutes, the young woman hears the click of the hotel door. It startles her back into a conscious state, wondering why her assistant Andrea, the only other person with a key card, was entering her room at this hour.

“Andrea?” Turning the corner, Y/n comes face to face with the older, taller man. “Eds… Wha- what are you doing here?”

“Did you not get my voicemail?” He asks, as if that voicemail held any answers. 

“Yeah, but.. It was pretty vague.” Her reply caused Eddie to smile.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I was in a rush. Packing, getting the jet ready.” Silence came over the two. Awkward silence. The couple had never been in awkward silence for the entirety of their relationship, always talking, never a pause in their banter. They had comfortable silence at night, staring into each other's eyes. But never was it awkward between them.

“You’ve been avoiding my calls.”

“I’ve been avoiding your calls.” The two spoke at the same time, before Eddie continues, “I’m sorry. It’s just- Ever since my relationship with my ex-wife, my relationships have had this 6 month lifespan. And when they get close to 6 months I get ready to end things.” Here it comes the ‘it’s not you, it’s me and my commitment issues’ “But that didn’t happen with you.” Oh. “With you, you met Isla and Leo no woman I’ve been with has gotten there, and they like you! And that’s fucking scarry. So the thought of us ever breaking up and what that would do to Isla.. It killed me, so I wanted to get ahead of it, y’know break up with you before she got even more attached, but I couldn’t so I just avoided you. Which was the wrong choice because that just caused you and me more pain. So.. I came here to tell you that.. I love you. And you don’t have to say it back, but I need you to know that I’m in, and this relationship it’s not just you and me anymore, my kids are in this. And I have to think about them and I need to know that you will also think about them.”

Throughout that long winded explanation, all Y/n could think about is that Eddie is not breaking up with her, and that he loves her. He, Eddie Munson, playboy, rock legend loved her.

“Eds, I love you too.” After she said the three little magic words, Eddie leaps towards her, his lips smashing against hers. Their lips moving in sync, Eddie’s tongue tempting her lips to widen, to allow his tongue and hers to fight for dominance. Y/n’s lips grant Eddie’s tongue entrance while Eddie has her distracted by his tongue, his hands slip downwards to her thighs gripping them for support to lift the woman onto the dining table, leaning her back and lifting his lips from hers to be able to talk once again. The disconnection of their lips leave the couple breathless, panting, and staring into eachothers eyes. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

The couple wake up the next morning, sunlight seeping through the sheer curtains, legs tangled together, Y/n moving to put her cold feet on Eddie’s legs to warm them.

“Ah! Get your feet off me. They’re cold.” Eddie mumbles into his hair, before turning his body to face Y/n, he was the little spoon last night.

“I know! That’s why I want you to warm them.” The short woman says in a ‘duh’ tone. Wiggling her feet between his calves, Eddie grabs her ankles, moving onto his back and pulling her to straddle him. Her bare core, resting on his v-line, as the two were still naked from last night's activities. 

“Hi.”

“Hi, darling.”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.” The older man brings his hand to his girl's jaw, his thumb rubbing back and forth on her cheek. 

“I love you.” This causes Eddie to let out a deep chuckle, as the two have said this about 30 times since he first did last night.

“I love you too.”

“So.. Now that we’re in love or whatever.” “‘Whatever’” “I want you to meet my parents… In a couple months when I get a break from tour. What do you think about that?” Y/n was worried about asking Eddie this, it felt so juvenile, but Eddie has never once made her feel bad about their age gap, one of the many things she loved about him.

“I would love to. And in the summer, I would really love you coming with me and the kids to Hawkins, meet my uncle and my hometown friends?”

“I would love to meet the man that raised my amazing man. I’ll have to thank him y’know. A lot.”

“Of course, he did a great job.”

“Oh shut up. I also really want to meet your friends. What are they like?”

“Well theirs the Hellfire boys, Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will. They’re a couple years younger than me, all married, all have kids. Mike and Will are married, they adopted a few. Then there’s Steve. He has a kid Leo’s age.. Then Robin, she got married to this girl from high school, Vicky, me and Steve totally got them together but she won’t admit it. They’re all great, and I can’t wait for you to meet them.” 

-

“I want to go to.. Italy. Have you been?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful.”

“I’ve always wanted to go.”

“I’ll take you.”

The two have been laying on their backs staring at the ceiling, talking all about the places they’ve been and want to go. The couple haven't left the bed all day, just to go to the bathroom, and Eddie once to grab them food, all while still naked, just how they liked it. 

“I wrote a breakup song about you.. Before everything, when I thought we were going to break up.” She added the last part quickly after her pause.

“Anything bad about me?” Eddie asks, clearly making a joke out of it, something Y/n was thankful for, he could always tell when she needed him to be serious and when she needed him to be jokey, another thing she loved about him.

“No, of course not. Just about how it would be super hard for me if we did break up.”

“Then good thing we didn’t.” He says, pressing his lips gently against hers.

~taglist~

@whoscamila @mystargirl-interlude @creoleguurl @witchwolflea @kissmejoey @taylorswiftsloverfr @random000000sblog

[yourmanz-sodapop]

Settling in together

Namjoon x Top! Male reader

Warnings: N/A Part 2/3

“Ok, This couch is perfect” Namjoon must’ve said that about four couches already. “Didn’t you say that about the previous couch?” you asked. “Well yes, but this one feels different than all the other ones. I’m telling you baby this is the one.” he pouts. “You’re sure this is the one baby?” “Yes, this one, let’s buy it.” he says, clapping his hands. He was excited, how could he not be? You gave him complete freedom to decorate your home. So far he had chosen the dresser and nightstand set as well as the curtains for all the rooms of the house and now the couch. 

“Ok, couch set check, next up is… kitchen table.” you see him from the corner of your eye walking off towards the kitchen area, as you're talking to an employee about what you want and how fast you can get it shipped to your house. 

Walking towards the area you last saw Namjoon, you find him sitting at the head of a kitchen table, his eyes narrowing on every empty seat. “What are you doing?” “shhhhh, I’m trying to see if this would match the look I’m going for.” “What look are you going for?” “Right now I’m leaning towards a minimalist vintage look. I think it suits us both, you're an old soul” letting out an amused chuckle you lay your head on top of his, “Anything will be fine, now hurry so we can go look at the paintings you want to hang up.” Say no more Namjoon was up and looking around trying to decide. You knew it would get him to hurry up. 

You need the house finished by next week but it seemed he forgot every other second. You’d made plans to have his parents over to actually see your new home, and to show them with proof that you are serious about their son, before it was just your words and small things you did. They loved you, they loved you just for the fact that you loved their son, that was enough for them but still you wanted to show them that Namjoon would always have a home with you, and that you could provide for him regardless of the fact that he made a shit ton of money from being an idol. I mean you also made a lot of money, you owned a finance company, one that you just branched over to Europe and hopefully soon you’ll add another branch in Korea near where you lived. As you were walking around looking at the different pieces of art, one specific one caught your eye. It was the same one you had in your office back home in America. It brought back a lot of memories.

“When are you coming back to visit?” You couldn’t stand seeing the tears on his face through the screen. “I don’t know, there was a problem with the construction crew, I need to go to Europe to see why they put a hold on it. I’m going to be gone longer than I thought I was, I’m sorry my love.” you explained. You’d already been gone for three months, signing contracts, getting permits overseeing construction for the new branch. “You promised you’d be back before I left on tour. I leave in two weeks.” he sobbed. You know how much it hurt, you haven’t seen each other in three months and now you have to break your promise about sending him off on his tour. You didn't say anything, what could you say to make him feel better? “I have to go” he whispers, “Namjoon, wait-” he hung up.  It was one of the lesser bad moments in your relationship. But it was quickly fixed, you flew out that same night and postponed your meetings to spend the remaining two weeks with Namjoon. 

“Babe!” Turning your head Namjoon was looking at you worriedly. “I called your name five times, are you ok?” He was carrying 6 pieces. “I’m fine baby, is that what you’re getting?” you asked. “Yes these, did you talk to the sales clerk about buying the couches?” “Mhm” “Ok then let's go, we still need to buy kitchen utensils and groceries. I’m not ordering take-out again.” “I’ll cook.”

Getting everything you needed for your new home took longer than you expected it to. Namjoon couldn’t make up his mind on a few things like rugs so you did have to go to a few other places the next day. Thankfully Namjoon found all the things he wanted and was satisfied with the end result of your house, now all you needed to do was wait for the weekend to come.

 You were both enjoying yourselves with this new dynamic of reality, a reality where you both didn’t have to fight your schedules to see each other, nor hide the fact that you were in love. His fanbase took it better than you expected it to, of course there was some negative backlash. Mostly  girls being upset that they wouldn’t have a chance to woo him, rather than the fact that he was with a man. It was a bit of a shock at first  but you got used to seeing your face more on social media.  The boys of course were over all the time now that the place was completely furnished with everything working as it’s supposed to. Now Namjoon understands why you got a three bedroom house.

Next>

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 8: Rain Run—The Prophecy (BoB Fanfiction)

A/N: Admittedly, I don't think you're going to like this chapter very much (oops). That being said, please be aware that there is some harassment that goes down in this chapter that aligns with the tags! Thank you so much and as always, please let me know what you think! Happy December! The moodboard is Winnie and her youngest brother Charlie!

Late Spring

Dear Roo (that is how you start letters, right? With a dear?), 

Texas is so damn hot! I know that you’re probably shakin’ your head about me swearin’ in the first line of the letter, but it’s the truth!  They’re lookin’ at transferrin’ us over to Nebraska in a few weeks for further processing.  I knew that the military would be tough (Richie said as much), but I didn’t think it was going to be THIS hard. 

I’m definitely one of the youngest here, but I’m making friends fast, I promise!  I know you said that I should find myself the most skilled pilots and stick close with them, so that’s what I’m trying to do.  There’s this guy here, Bucky—and he’s somethin’ straight out of New York.  I think you’d probably not like him very much, but he’s a damn good pilot. 

Have you heard from Cindy much at all?  I know she said that she’d write me, but I haven’t gotten any of her letters yet.  Maybe I’m just impatient, but that girl is sweeter than a damn peach and I miss her and her curls.  I won’t write too much about her—I know you’re not the sentimental type. 

Don’t worry, I go to church services every Sunday with you in mind.  I know you’d find a way to find me and wring my neck if I missed services.  Though I wonder, the more I hear about what’s going on in Europe and in the Pacific—if any of it really means anything.  Don’t go gettin’ mad at me for expressing it.  I’m just curious, that’s all. 

Anyways, I hope that you’re doing well in Toccoa (even if it is in the middle of nowhere, Georgia).  Please tell me that you’ve managed to make at least one friend?  And if not, that you’ve broken someone’s nose?  That sounds like something my fearless Roo would do.  Anyways, let me know!  Hope to hear from you soon—and maybe when we get leave, I can drop back and see you.  But I’d probably go and see Cindy first if that doesn’t bother you too much.  I’m running out of space and time on this line, so I’ll just end it here!

Love, 

Charlie 

P.S.—their cooking is WAY worse than yours is.  I’d take your burnt meatloaf any day, sis. 

Winnie just chuckled at the letter, a rare show of emotion on her face.  Charlie could ramble when he wanted to.  He was always the most vivacious little kid, stealing blueberry pies right off of people’s windowsills and cutting flowers from people’s yards just for her. He was sweet and that sweetness had a violent edge to it.  He got in more fights than anyone in the family, despite her and Richie’s best interventions.  And that also included Nate—who thought that fighting was fun to an extent. 

But he was still just a kid.  Barely 18 and now gone off to fight in a war—or at least, be trained to fight in one.  It would still be another year, minimum, until he’d be out in England.  And she’d take that any day over losing him right now. 

Setting the letter down, Winnie glanced at the clock.  She still had some time before breakfast would start and she needed to be up. She could start penning her letter back to him.  Briefly, her mind wandered to Charlie’s girlfriend, Cindy. Cindy had been a local girl when they moved from downtown Buford to the richer neighborhoods.  She was a sweet girl, really—

But Winnie didn’t think that sweet equated to faithful or loyal. 

She hoped that for Charlie’s sake, he would get a letter from her soon.  But Winnie wasn’t holding out any hope for that kinda thing.  Still, it was easier to deal with Cindy than it was to deal with a whole string of brokenhearted strumpets that Nate had left behind—

Not that they were actually strumpets, Winnie just knew that they had one thing on their minds. And she hadn’t raised her boys to be like that. 

Thunder rumbled in the distance and Winnie fully sat up, ready to head out for breakfast.  The rain outside pattered against the windows and left everyone in a particularly glum mood for the day. It continued well past breakfast and into the afternoon, when lunch was being served.  Upon Winnie’s arrival into the mess hall, her suspicions of the day were immediately confirmed by the look of distaste on both Reba and Eileen’s faces, the fact that Dick Winters was in the kitchen, and the fact that there was a spaghetti meal being served. 

Sliding into the table with the nurses, Winnie glanced at their small portions.  “Not eating much today either?” 

Reba just sniffed in annoyance.  “You didn’t hear?” 

“Hear what?” 

“They did a contraband bust on the nurses this morning after you left for breakfast.  If Sobel’s gonna make the men run, we’re sure as hell gonna be running with them,” Eileen stated evenly.  “So no, we’re not eating very much.” 

Winnie just let out a slight breath.  “Figures,” she mumbled in slight annoyance.  “What did they get the nurses for anyway?” 

“Unsanctioned lipstick tubes and nylons.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Winnie deadpanned. “What do they expect you to be?  Nuns?” 

“Don’t give them the idea, thank you,” Reba retorted, giving Winnie a light kick to the shin. 

Winnie glanced at the other nurses plates, eying the hue of the noodles.  “My gramps was Italian but I don’t think it’s supposed to be that color.” 

“Well I don’t think the army is trying to imitate the Italians, Doc,” Eileen said with a small smile.  

“Well they’re currently under a fascist regime, so I don’t blame them,” Winnie said, flashing a smirk. 

Just then, Sobel came storming in and blowing a whistle—the men would be running Currahee and the nurses, for their part in contraband, would be running another hill.  “Dividing and conquering, huh?” Reba’s brow ticked ever so slightly. 

The group of nurses—about fifteen of them or so, and Winnie—trudged through the mud and back to the barracks.  They changed into the exercise gear that they had been allowed, and then trudged their way through Camp Toccoa towards one of the smaller hills.  Waiting there was another one of the captains—though Winnie didn’t recognize the man.  

At least this way, there weren’t men staring at their legs or their asses or their chests.  This was a win in every sense of the word—even if the run in the rain was going to be a treacherous slope.  Winnie kept a steady pace in the front, encouraging Reba and Eileen as they went. If they could just keep going right now, then they’d be done for the rest of the day. 

As they jogged up the hill, Reba glanced her way, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.  “You got a letter earlier—you don’t usually get letters.” 

Winnie nearly grinned at that, keeping pace.  “I get plenty of letters, I just usually don’t leave them out where you can see them.” 

“A boyfriend?  A husband?” Eileen questioned on her other side. 

“Baby brother.” 

“Oh that’s kinda boring—unless he’s cute,” Eileen added, eyes flashing in Winnie’s direction hopefully. 

“He’s 18, you’d be bored out of your mind.” 

Reba gave a roll of her eyes.  “That wouldn’t stop Eileen and you know it.  Besides, Eil, you’re only 21—that’s not too much older.” 

“Over my dead body,” Winnie said, pumping her legs up the next stretch of steep hill.  

“Oh don’t be funny—” Eileen insisted, nearly slipping. 

Winnie realized she was slipping at the last second possible—and Winnie caught Eileen by the elbow. If the weather had been dry and there wasn’t a ridiculous amount of mud, Winnie was certain they would have stuck the landing. Unfortunately for the two of them, the mud would not allow for a smooth landing. 

Eileen’s grip sent them both crashing into the mud, nearly slipping into the rest of the nurses.  The rest of the nurses stopped at the sight of the two of them taking a spill into the mud–and for a moment, Winnie and Eileen just sat there, caked in mud and staring at each other with wide eyes.  And then Eileen burst into a clear laugh, smashing mud on Winnie’s face. 

“Hey!” Winnie exclaimed, letting a laugh spill from her lips.  She flung mud right back on Eileen and for just a shining moment, this was not a war. 

This was just two little girls who were forced to grow up too fast.  And they were having fun. 

And then Reba was urging them to get up, eyes wide.  “We’ve got a Captain coming!  Get up, get up!” She exclaimed. 

At that, Winnie shot to her feet, immediately helping Eileen up.  She didn’t mind the fact that mud was caked down her long legs or sticking from her hair.  They had slipped and it was an honest mistake in this rain and mud.  “Let’s finish the run and then we’ll get to a shower,” she said, nudging Eileen. 

Eileen just gave a grin.  “You do have a fun side,” she decided, flipping her braids at Winnie dramatically. 

“Getting down and dirty in the mud isn’t exactly what I’d qualify as fun,” Winnie replied evenly, but the grin on her face remained.  “But I do have a fun side.�� Occasionally.  Let’s keep that on wraps for right now.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had waited until every last man from Easy Company was done with the showers before making their way in there.  Given the fact that they had more hair and a little bit more flexibility in their schedules, it was also just the logical move to make. And this way, men didn’t get any ideas of waiting around to sneak a peek at them.  

The water was lukewarm, almost cold by the time that they finally got into the showers.  Winnie’s nails scraped against her scalp quickly, focusing on getting clean as quickly as possible.  After all—they only had fifteen minutes before they were set to be back in the medical huts and teaching another class to the medics. 

Winnie didn’t mind the temperature of the water.  Back home, most of her showers had been ice cold—she had always insisted on her brothers showering first before she got her turn.  That hadn’t changed until she had gotten a divorce—at which point, Richie had put up a good argument and started advocating that she get the shower first.  It was a noble gesture, but that was just who her brother was. 

Turning off the water, Winnie spared a glance in Eileen’s direction.  “You almost done?” 

“Just about.” 

“I’ll go grab our clothes, then,” Winnie replied, shivering slightly as she wrapped a towel around her and set out for where they had left their clothes, just beyond the row of lockers.  She turned the corner, eyes landing on the empty bench that sat in the middle of the lockers—no clothing to be seen. 

For a moment, she just stared at it, jaw ticking. 

And then one Captain Sobel stepped forward, a bundle of clothing in hand and an unreadable expression on his face. “Looking for these?” 

Oh so that’s how he wanted to play things. 

Winnie kept an even expression, jaw tightening at the sight of him holding the clothing that she and Eileen needed.  “Yes, sir.” 

His gaze trained on her like some sort of predatory thing and her blood curdled at the sensation.  “Rather careless of you to just leave them sitting here.” 

“That’s where they’re supposed to go while one showers,” Winnie retorted.  She didn’t fail to notice the way that his gaze swept over her legs and up onto her shoulders and chest. 

Sobel just gave a nod.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll give them back.  I just want you to answer a few questions.  For every question you answer, I’ll give you an article of clothing back.” 

Winnie had half a mind to punch him—though that certainly wouldn’t have ended well for her.  She didn’t though.  She just stood there for a moment—and the thought of being humiliated and degraded like this, it wasn’t something that she could bear.  And she wouldn’t subject Eileen to that either. 

“Eat shit,” Winnie retorted.  “Sir.” 

Sobel’s face tightened at the words.  “Fine.” With that, he turned on his heel and walked away with the clothing articles in hand. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reba had waited a whole five minutes after the class was supposed to have started before losing her patience.  It was one thing for Eileen to be late—it had happened a few times and Eileen always turned up.  But for Winnie to also be late?  Now that wasn’t something that was possible.  Winnie was a hard-ass about being places on time and getting the job done effectively and efficiently. 

So for both of them to be missing meant that there must have been a reason behind it.  And God forgive her, but Reba worried what it meant.  Her gaze trained onto the medics, patiently waiting for Winnie and Eileen to make their appearance. 

Her foot tapped impatiently and then Reba rose, gaze sweeping over them.  “Roe‚ you’re with me.  The rest of you, get working on tourniquets.” 

Roe was quick to rise to his feet, following after her.  “What is it, Nurse Garrett?” He questioned curiously. 

Reba’s gaze locked onto him, annoyance shooting through her.  Truth be told, she’d rather handle the entire thing on her own.  But she also knew that Doc Allen—Winnie—happened to like Roe better than the other medics, even if she wouldn’t admit it.  There was something to be said for his candor and quiet loyalty.  

“We’re gonna go find Doc and Eileen,” Reba retorted.  “I’d go alone, but I could use another set of eyes.” 

At that, Roe gave a nod. “Yes, ma’am.” 

It took them a whole fifteen minutes of scouring the camp before Reba had a thought occur to her that she didn’t altogether like.  She led the way towards the showers, nearly grumbling under her breath the entire time.  The annoyance and frustration was not missed by Roe, who wisely kept his mouth shut.  

Coming to a stop in front of the showers, Reba considered her options. If there were, in fact, naked men inside the showers—Reba would survive.  She had administered shots to a good number of men anyway and seeing men in that state of undress wasn’t unheard of.  However—if Winnie and Eileen were indeed in the showers, she didn’t want Roe going in there and making them uncomfortable. 

“Alright, I’m going in.  Can you just—wait here for a minute?” Reba questioned, gaze falling on him again. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

Reba gave a dry smile and set into the shower hut, tapping lightly on the lockers as she walked forward.  “Hey, Doc?” 

“Oh thank God,” came Eileen’s voice from the other side. “Our clothes got stolen!” She exclaimed. 

Almost immediately, Reba felt a flash of fury rise up in her.  “Those sons of bitches—” She mumbled out.  “Alright, I’m gonna have Roe guard the door.  I’ll get you some clothes.” 

“Just be quick,” Winnie commanded in an annoyed tone. 

By the time that Reba returned with the clothes in hand, it was clear that Roe had a clear idea of what had gone on.  And by the time that Winnie and Eileen exited the showers—with Eileen’s cheeks still tinged pink, Winnie was ready to raise some sort of hell.  Winnie stepped outside, wondering how the hell she was supposed to get those articles of clothing back from Sobel. 

Her gaze immediately dropped onto Roe, who stood there patiently, jaw and fists clenched.  “Thank you for the assistance, Roe,” Winnie stated curtly.  “You’ll keep this little interaction to yourself.” 

“Ma’am?” He asked in surprise. 

“I”ll handle it.  I always do,” Winnie said.  “Now let’s get you back to medic training.  Eileen’s taking the rest of the afternoon off.” 

Roe just stared at Doc Allen for a moment, wondering how she could be so calm and collected under the circumstances.  He had sisters—and if this had happened to them, he would have pitched a fit and thrown a few fists around.  They would have been crying.  But not Doc Allen—she was a cold woman with the focus that only God could give.  He admired the fact that she could pull herself together so quickly and not get emotional about the situation.  

“I’ll follow your lead, ma’am,” Roe finally stated. 

“Good.” 

[supernovaa-remnant]

thank you for your thoughts and reminding me of the fermi paradox! don't mind this long ask.. this is probably my top 5 fav things to discuss....

it is a bit sad to think that there are aliens out there totally within our comprehension and that we could communicate with, but we simply don't cross paths in time. like with the vastness of space and distance in lightyears and all that, maybe by the time a clear signal reaches our planet, it's millions of years in the future? it all depends on technology i suppose, which is cool to think about lifeforms similar to ours developing technology like us but with the physics and materials of different planets we've never seen before. and another cool thing, all the hypotheses about how aliens may be very much interacting with earth and are just deliberately making sure we don't detect them, how they have much broader intelligence than our standards, it reminds of something jerma said once that i'm obsessed with. he brought something up where he considered what if aliens were actually less intelligent than us. what if we came into contact with aliens that consider us to be their amazing and advanced counterparts? this was disputed with "well then how would they have space travel/communication to contact us in the first place" but what if we found them first? i don't know, again i could go on for hours about this hah

Jade!!! I also love talking about this thank you so much for sending this ask <3

It makes me so sad to think about aliens we could’ve communicated with except we’re just not around at the same time. I have often thought about what it would feel like to one day find remnant of a civilization on an exoplanet, only for no one to actually be around anymore. Or maybe one day aliens will stumble across the Golden Record, but we will all be gone, and that record is all they will know of us.

I think there’s a lot of possible answers to the fermi paradox. Maybe there are aliens, but they’re in a completely different cluster of galaxies. Maybe there are aliens in our own cluster, but maybe none of us have reached sufficient space travel yet. Maybe they just aren’t interacting with us for whatever reason. Maybe they’re scientists who are observing us, but they’re not interfering just like how scientists filming nature documentaries don’t interfere.

That idea of us finding them first though. I love that idea omg. It reminds me of something I learned in one of the astronomy classes I took at uni. If you think about it, the universe is actually pretty young. The most common stars in the universe are red dwarf stars, which are estimated to live for trillions of years. It made me think… what if at a later point in a red dwarf’s life, the perfect conditions of life exist? What if there’s a certain time and planets a certain distance from red dwarfs, and what if that has the ideal conditions for life to form?

In that case… maybe Earth is just early. Maybe they’re are other planets with life that formed in more difficult conditions, but maybe it’s less common. Maybe that’s why we haven’t run into anyone yet. Maybe all those galactic civilizations just aren’t around yet.

It’s interesting to think about. I’m not sure how much I truly think that’s the explanation (I think I’m just hesitant to accept things that make us special… it feels almost full of ourselves to think of us as early, but maybe that’s the case), but I like thinking about it!!

All that being said, I think life is probably very abundant in the universe. Maybe not space faring life, but I think there is life, even if just microbial.

To be honest, I think there’s a good chance that there’s life in our solar system (specifically on Europa). Everywhere on Earth where there is liquid water and heat/a heat source, there is life. Europe (most likely) has both those conditions. I could talk about Europa for ages, but I will cut off my rambles here lol.

[lifeofkaze]

Say No to This

A/N: This story can be read as a standalone short, or in context with this story here. This was written for the June prompt of the @hp-12monthsofmagic challenge, which I took a little more liberally in my interpretation this time. Warning: Horrid abuse of the French language. It's been a while.

“Quite the show out there, isn’t it?”

“It’s impressive,” Dana nodded, turning away from the rumble of voices filling the arena. She had never before seen a duelling ground this packed, the benches filled up to the top with witches and wizards from all across Europe. It was the opening tournament of the international season, and everyone had come to see the show. “Is it always this full?”

“It’ll be even fuller once the round is in full swing,” Michaela Morrison, coach of the Scottish National team, replied, “what with the World Cup just around the corner and all that.” 

The World Cup. Dana let the word sit on the tip of her tongue for a moment. She had dreamed of attending them since she’d been a student at Hogwarts, and now she was courted by both the English and the Scottish teams, vying for her allegiance. The Scots had gone as far as taking her backstage with them as their guest, which was exactly where Dana was at.

“Technically, the season has already started,” Michaela broke Dana from her thoughts, “but there’s still one name left I can call up for my line-up. You know that, don’t you?”

Dana tensed. Of course she knew; it was all everyone had been telling her for weeks.

“I haven’t decided yet. I’ll think about it.”

“I will need your answer soon,” Michaela said gravely. “You’re not the only witch who can pack a punch. Others would chop their arm off for an offer like that.”

“I said, I’ll think about it,” Dana repeated, sharply.

“Think quickly, then.”

With a bell ringing to signal the beginning of the tournament, Michaela left to be with her team. Dana was glad for her leaving; she was sick of being pushed to decide. The coach of the English team had stood on her doorstep not even a week after she’d won the national championship, much quicker than his Scottish rival, but Michaela had turned out to be the more insistent of the two. They’d been in contact every day since, the letters stacking up on her desk too many for Dana to count.

The competing teams were lined up at the entrance to the duelling ground. Members of the Scottish team gave Dana a smile, which she politely returned before dropping her eyes. They had been exceptionally welcoming to her, and leaving them in the balance made her feel more guilty than she cared to admit. 

As the duellists entered the arena to the thundering applause of the spectators, Dana quietly left and found her seat. She had a stellar view of the stage but it was the ranks surrounding her that drew her attention. With a sinking feeling, she realised that she seemed to be the only person who had come alone. Her eyes settled on a couple sitting close to her. They looked happy, very much in love. The feeling of loneliness hovering on the edge of her mind increased as the dark-haired young wizard put an arm around his girlfriend and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh, and she quickly looked away.

She was here to learn something, after all. Her next step, a privilege. She’d better pay attention to what actually mattered. 

***

The afterparty took place at a pub adjacent to the duelling grounds, reserved for the national teams and their entourage entirely. A plethora of different languages and accents filled the air, and there was food, drinks, and the promise of good company.

Dana had been reluctant to rejoin the Scottish team after the tournament had ended but hadn’t found a reason to decline their invitation either. She soon regretted her decision; she felt even more alone than she had sitting in the stands, the champagne in her hand tasting sour and making her head throb as the conversations brushed her by. 

She had just left a group of Italian witches to their devices when she spotted Michaela pushing through the crowd in her direction. Hastily, Dana emptied her champagne in one big swig that made her shudder and started towards the exit in such a hurry that she didn’t see the person crossing her path until it was too late. She staggered backwards as the two of them collided, the other person letting out a strangled-sounding “Oof!” as they fell to the ground. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you at all!” Dana exclaimed, rushing to help the young man to his feet. “Are you alright?”

“It’s no bother,” he answered with a soft accent. “What you did to that champagne just now, though… that was a crime.”

Dana stared. His dark skin and curly hair were familiar to her, somehow, but it took another moment for the Sickle to drop on her.

“You’re from the French team!” she called out. “You were in the tournament earlier.”

“I believe that applies to most people here.” 

“Of course.” Colour rose to Dana’s cheeks. “Your dancing charm was incredible. I’ve never seen anyone go down with such an impressive tango.”

“I like to finish my opponents off with style,” the French wizard laughed. He extended his hand. “I’m Louis de la Fayette.”

“Nice to meet you, Louis de la Fayette,” Dana smiled. “I’m Dana. Dana Parkin.”

“Parkin?” Louis’ eyes widened. “As in, Parkin Parkin?” 

Dana tensed involuntarily. Her apprehension dissolved, however, when Louis whistled lowly. 

“The Dana Parkin, qui l'aurait cru. Your championship duel last season was the talk of the team, even at home in Paris. Why didn’t I see you in the ring?”

“I didn’t duel today,” Dana shook her head. “I was up in the stands.” 

“What would someone like you be doing on the sidelines, instead of down with us where you belong?”

His question bothered her considerably less than when Dana had asked herself the same thing. “Learning to hex someone into tangoing themselves to defeat, I guess.” 

Her intention of leaving the party entirely forgotten, Louis and Dana moved to the bar, where Louis declined Dana’s offer of getting him a proper Scottish lager as a means of apology and returned with two glasses of red wine instead. Their conversation came easily, switching between English and French. Dana hadn’t spoken it in years but found she enjoyed dusting off her language skills, immensely. With every sip of wine she became more fluent, Louis’ jokes funnier, and the nagging feeling of isolation less bit by bit. 

When they had emptied their glasses they moved on to the next, and when those were empty, too, and Louis made to get them new ones, Dana placed a hand on his arm and smiled.

“Laisse-moi, s’il te plaît.”

She slid off her bar stool, maybe a little bit too quickly. The room suddenly spinning, she took a step forward, the grip on Louis’ arm tightening. Her cheeks flushed, Dana leaned her head against his shoulder and laughed.

“Wow, I don’t know where that came from.” 

“Je le sais,” Louis snorted, but not unkindly. “You Brits can’t handle your wine.”

Dana straightened up but didn’t move away. She giggled. “I’m Scottish, for the record.”

“Then, Scottish girl, you can’t handle your wine.”

“Sounds like I need more practice, then.”

“That could be arranged.” 

The smile on Louis’ face changed. He was so close that Dana could have counted his ludicrously long lashes, should she have wished so. Before she knew it, he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers in a kiss that tasted of rich wine. For just a moment, Dana kissed him back, his hands resting on her waist and pulling her in.

Abruptly, she came back to her senses. The pressure of her hands on Louis’ chest increased, pushing him away. Horrified, Dana staggered backwards, clasping her hand in front of her mouth. 

“Dana?” Louis asked, his voice sounding far away. “What’s wrong?”

Eyes wide, Dana took another step back and away from him, wheeling around and pushing through the crowd toward the exit as fast as she could. She burst through the door, gulping down the cool night air. Quick steps took her away from the light and the noise spilling from the pub. Rounding a corner, she leaned against the wall and covered her face with her hands.

What have I done, what have I done, what have I done?!

With shaking hands, Dana took out her wand. She had to talk to Dylan, now. She had to tell him. She had never meant to cheat on him. Never, never– 

She cast her spell, but instead of a happy little hedgehog, only a quivering band of silver mist appeared, disbanding into nothingness only moments after. Defeated, Dana stared at where it had vanished.

All she wanted was to go home. 

She returned to the pub to go and get her things when the door opened and a group of witches stepped outside, Michaela Morrison among them.

“Dana,” she smiled and waved as soon as she spotted her. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Dana swallowed heavily. “Not now, okay?”

“You can’t keep avoiding me forever,” Michaela said, stepping sideways to block Dana’s way to the door. “I only want what’s best for you. You’re wasting away your potential.” 

“I’m not.”

“You are. If you stop pushing yourself, you’re going to lose your edge. Talent only gets you so far - it’s dedication that really gets you places. You want to go places, don’t you, Dana?”

“Listen, Michaela…”

“Don’t you?”

“I do,” Dana snapped. “But now is not a good time. Next year –”

“– will be too late for you. Your star is on the rise now.” Her face softened. “Think about how many people can only dream of being where you are now. This is your shot, girl. Your chance to step from your family’s shadow. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”

“I guess so.” Dana pressed her lips together. “I’ll think about it. For real, this time.”

Considering her, Michaela inclined her head and caught up to her friends. Dana looked after her, stony-faced. She thought about Michaela’s words. She felt nothing.

“Dana?”

She jumped, so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Louis approaching. He must have taken her reaction wrongly because he stopped a couple of feet from her and raised his hands, palms facing her. 

“I only wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“Yes,” Dana nodded, immediately after shaking her head. “No. No, I’m actually not okay at all.”

“If this is about me kissing you, I never meant to –”

“I have a boyfriend,” Dana blurted out, the shame at both the thought of Dylan and the look on Louis’s face making her cheeks burn. “I should have told you straightaway. I never should have kissed you. I’m so very, very sorry.”

Blowing out his cheeks, Louis ran his hand over his hair. “Just my luck. Why are the good ones always taken?”

Dana’s eyes dropped to her bright red Converse. The left one had a tiny doodle of a penguin on its side, which Dylan had drawn. It was so old that it had all but faded, but Dana knew that it was there, regardless.

“I’m honestly sorry.”

“What for? I kissed you, after all.”

“Yes, but –”

“I’m not holding it against you, really.” He tilted his head, a wry smile crossing his face. “Whoever your boyfriend is, he must be very lucky to have scored a girl like you.”

It was too much for Dana. The first tear fell, followed by more and more as the reality of how long she hadn’t seen Dylan crashed over her. She let Louis draw her into a hug, the gesture nothing but kindness. 

Sobbing, she told him about Dylan - how they’d known each other, loved each other, and how terribly she missed him every moment of every day they weren’t together. How he was out there living his dream while she was here living hers. When all her tears and her frustration had eventually been spilt, she wiped her eyes and let go of Louis, feeling more tired than ever before.

“I’m sorry,” she smiled shakily and hiccoughed. “I’m usually not much of a whiner.”

Louis made a clicking sound with his tongue. “What to say? Les plus grandes douceurs et l’infortunes, c’est l’amour.” 

“It’s been more pain than sweetness, lately,” said Dana sadly. “Dylan barely gets to come home as it is, but at least I’m here when he does. If I take Michaela’s offer, I wouldn’t even know where to begin to match our schedules.” 

“I think you must make up your mind,” Louis hummed. “How do you Brits say? Have your cake and eat?” 

“I’m Scottish. And not quite.”

“In that case, do what makes you happy, Scottish girl.” He tapped his forefinger to his nose. “Trust me, I know all about cakes. I’m French.” 

His joke made Dana laugh, if only for a bit. “What if I don’t know what I want to do with my cake, though?” 

“Ah, but I think you do,” Louis said with a twinkle to his eye. He pointed at his chest, right above his heart. “If you listen to this, I promise you, you can’t go wrong.” 

[rmwb-fanfics]

Sorry I'm a bit late to the party - what type of fanfiction do you write/currently write? You mentioned an RU fic?

Morning/evening/afternoon anon! Thank you for asking, hope you’re well.

Well, I write a lot of fanfiction, (Pirates of the Caribbean, Jurassic Park/World) but the only stuff I post is for Harry Potter.

I have two fics posted, both in a WIP state. There’s one other that I haven’t posted and I’m waiting to be finished before uploading, here is the list.

Available:

Regretfully Uncaring (RU)

My long fic. My baby. I looooove it with all my heart. Currently rewriting/editing the vast majority of it because this was really my first proper toe into creative writing, and as it’s gone on my skill set has improved considerably and, as I say in the summary on AO3, I want the story to be as accessible and enjoyable as it can be to the most amount of people.

It’s a werewolf fic, but it’s also a lot more than that. As the name implies it’s about regret. The name actually comes from something an addict I know told me, where when you’re hooked on something you regret your actions but you can’t get yourself to care. It’s about learning how to love again. It’s about acceptance, revolution. But really it’s about addiction. I say all that from the perspective of the author. It’s a ton of other things and my readers get different stuff out of it I’m sure.

It’s an ensemble cast story, so the perspective shifts quite a few times per chapter. I think there’s something like 20 characters that each lead a role at some point. Plenty of pairings, but the focuses are Harry/Ginny and Ron/Daphne. There’s time travel, there’s world building, the entire plot is essentially original and that’s why it’s my Bebe.

Because Regretfully Uncaring is a test run. Once the tournament concludes in chapter 28/29, it’s basically just a Harry Potter version of my original work that I poke away at. I want to make movies someday, and maybe Hollywood and general audiences as a whole will be more up to some original stories and less remakes/sequels because fuck I have so many ideas and this really is one of them.

FFN | AO3

Big thanks to @curse-04 and @muib92 who I can’t tag for some reason. Their genuine interest in what I’ve written has kept me going through so much, more than just writing. Even if you’re the same person with an alt account, I appreciate it.

A Short Life Full of Long Years (ASLFOLY)

Yeah so I don’t have as much to say about this one. Only reason it isn’t a one-shot is because my brain can’t just let things end so here we are. It’s a post-war soul bond fic, again: Harry and Ginny are the focus here. Together they go travelling in search of Andromeda and Teddy, who have gone into hiding in the muggle world somewhere in Europe. They have a vague map without any marked destinations, oh, and a vengeful Death is after Harry since his survival in the forest. I really wanted to explore what a soul bond post HBP/DH would look like, and I’ve enjoyed myself so far. Eventually, if I feel like it, they might become a secret agent duo. At the moment I have very little plan for this story, i just like writing it as it goes. People have loved it so far, so there’s that.

FFN | AO3

Biggest thanks to @fizzyginfizz for leaving the best review I’ve ever received on any story, let alone ASLFOLY. I still think about it.

-

So yeah that’s what’s uploaded, that’s what I tend to talk about. The stuff I won’t post is pretty simple.

My PotC fic is a follow up to the fifth film that explains Davy Jones and Jack’s actions in the Sea of Thieves portion of the story line. It’s pretty good and I’m thinking I might eventually post but there’s only like 20k words at the moment.

My Jurassic Park/World fic is just a rewrite of the latest film. Call me stupid or whatever but I was hella invested in the Jurassic story and I was looking forward to the conclusion/follow up after Fallen Kingdom. But *NO* they had to FUCK IT UP. Anyway it’s pretty damn good as a story but I will never ever post this one because no one is learning about my obsession for Jurassic Park that intimately.

Thank you for asking anon and sorry for rambling. Going to grammar edit this now, have a wonderful day.

[umichenginabroad]

Madrid Week 8: Surfing a singular couch

Hola a todxs! Niko back here with week 8 of studying abroad in Madrid. I just realized that I never fully explained my usual intro ‘Hola a todxs’ so I took the time to do that in a footnote* for anyone curious :).

Anyways, this week I’ll write a little bit more of a traditional blog format — I’ll talk about some recent trips I’ve gone on. For those wondering how my progress is going on waking up earlier and appreciating Madrid, I’ll report some small successes: I ventured out to study in a cafe last week and enjoyed the warmer air (spring is starting to be sprung!!), and went out to dinner in the oldest restaurant in the world last night (called El Botin) :).

This weekend, I was in Amsterdam, and the weekend before that, I was in Sevilla. Recap time.

Couchsurfing in Amsterdam

Amsterdam is a very special city. Immediately when I stepped out of the train station, I was hit with the bustling scene of Centraal — the combination of the castle-esque buildings poking up in every direction, bikers going every which way, and canals slicing through the streets created a unique energy that I haven’t felt in any other city I’ve been to. It felt distinctly Dutch, and clearly had a subculture that can only be found in Amsterdam.

This weekend I was meeting one of my best friends Charlotte in the Netherlands, a friend I’ve had since middle school who’s spending her spring break in Europe. She arrived on Saturday, so I had the time to explore the city solo for a little bit before she arrived.

The second thing that struck me about this city: everyone speaks English, and they all speak it very well. Although the same can be said about many young people in countries in Spain and Italy, in the Netherlands, English almost felt like the default — not Dutch. There was not a single time that I felt the uncomfortable feeling of being disrespectful for not attempting to speak the local language, and there was not a single time that I came across someone that I couldn’t communicate with. Learning English has clearly been ingrained in the culture of the Netherlands (along with many Nordic countries), which calls attention to the question of how this occurred in the first place. At the very least, it makes tourism much easier.

The first thing that struck me: bikes. If you’ve never been to Amsterdam, the first thing to know is that everyone bikes everywhere, all the time. It’s said that pedestrians rule the streets in NYC. In Amsterdam, bikers rule — there’s actually more bikes than residents in the city. There’s bike lanes everywhere, and you’ll never be farther than a 20 minute trip to any centrally located destination.

So naturally, I rented a bike, and I felt pretty awesome joining the hoards of commuters zigzagging through Amsterdam. I made my way over to the Van Gogh museum, which I can confidently say now was my favorite museum I’ve ever visited.

I took a trip to Amsterdam with my family when I was around 10 years old and actually visited the Van Gogh then, but I can’t say that I remember it too much. Now, with 21 years under my belt, an appreciation for art, and a greater understanding of the human experience, the main exhibit in this museum quite literally brought me to tears.

Something about the way this museum told Van Gogh’s story through his art — from his starting place, through his simultaneous progression as an artist and mental health struggles, to his ultimate suicide — really touched me. I could really feel the emotion Van Gogh had imbued into his paintings with his brushstrokes and colors in a way that I had never felt looking at visual art before. The painting “Almond Blossom” was a highlight — a painting that Van Gogh considered to be one of his best works, which was a gift to his nephew. I would highly recommend a visit if you enjoy impressionist art.

On Saturday, I explored the Rijksmuseum (which is massive) before Charlotte arrived. When her train got in, we found each other and went together to meet our host for the weekend: A film student at the University of Amsterdam named Tassos, who hails originally from Athens, Greece. Tassos graciously offered up his pull-out couch for us to sleep on for the weekend, in his apartment overlooking one of Amsterdam’s many canals.

So, how’d we connect to our gracious host in the first place? Through a website called couchsurfing.com. Couchsurfing is an app that connects its members to a global community of travelers. Hosts can offer up their home for travelers to stay in free of charge, and travelers can message hosts to find lodging (and connection). Couchsurfing communities in various cities also organize events — meetups, tours, even parties — for members of the community to join at their leisure. People use couch surfing to meet interesting people, form connections, and to exchange stories/wisdom, all of which is right up my ally.

Admittedly, the idea seemed sus to me at first. You have to have trust that your host will be truthful, responsive, and safe to spend time with. The reference system alleviates this greatly (you write reviews of the people you spend time with), but the process still requires a healthy amount of trust. From Charlotte and I’s interaction with Tassos leading up to our trip, I had built up a good amount of trust — and that paid off last weekend.

A clear pattern is emerging from my travels: experiencing cities through the guidance of a local enhances the experience 100 fold. No matter how much research you do, there’s such a large part of cities that can only be discovered through lived experiences — which, oftentimes, is where the most direct connection to local culture can be found. This connection is what I seek wherever I go, and is something I felt greatly staying with Tassos this weekend.

Over the course of the weekend, Charlotte and I explored the city and its parks (highly recommend Vondelpark) on our bikes, shared delicious home-made Pastitsio with Tassos (his grandma’s recipe), went to the largest flea market in Europe (I got a sick Matrix-style trenchcoat), ate tons of delicious food (someone say stroopwafel?) and went out to an amazing community centered techno party in the outskirts of the city. It was wonderful to spend time with Charlotte outside of Virginia, and connecting with Tassos through our shared cultural background, interests, and life experiences was fulfilling. You can only get so close to someone over the course of a few days, but I know that I’ve made an friend that I’m looking forward to crossing paths with again sometime in the future, wherever that may be.

(Not so) Sunny Sevilla

I know that I’ve been mentioning this trip for a long time in these blogs without actually talking about any of the details, so I think it’s about time. Sevilla is a city in the south of Spain, famous for its flamenco, sunny weather, interesting architecture, and distinctly Andalucian vibe. This was a trip organized by CEA, the company managing the study abroad program I enrolled in with IPE. Me and around 80 other students in the program took a short train ride down to get there, lodged in a nice hotel (amazing buffet breakfast), and got to take a few tours of the major sites to see in the city.

It never rains in Sevilla — except, somehow, the one weekend we were there. It put a bit of a damper on our first two days, but it made the last 1.5 all the more marvelous when the sun finally shone out from behind the clouds. I figured that telling the details in the form of pictures might be more interesting (and would help keep the word count of this blogpost down a bit). Check on the ALT description for more details on the trip :).

Making lists has become (yet) a new hobby of mine this semester. I bookmark all of the places that I visit and write little personal notes to go along with them with two goals in mind: one, that I might keep a better digital footprint of my trips so that I can remember them better (especially if I ever want to return). Two: for all of you! If just one of my lists can help one of the readers of this blog find something worth seeing, I would be more than content.

Here's Amsterdam...

and here's Sevilla!

As always, don’t hesitate to reach out with questions about more specific recommendations/vibe checks for any of the cities I go to.

Hasta la proxima semana!

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

economos@umich.edu 

*Hola a todxs translates directly to “Hello to all”, or “Hello everyone”, which is simple enough. However, the x in the final word might seem out of place — why do I use it? The word todxs is usually written as todos or todas, as many nouns and adjectives in Spanish are gendered. When you see an x at the end of a Spanish word, it’s likely because this word has been made gender neutral, which exists outside of the accepted rules of the Spanish language but is widely used in online communities and in the media. An @ symbol is also commonly used (tod@s). In the gender neutral form, the x/@ is pronounced with an ‘e’ sound, so we would say “Hola a todes”. Consequenly, some words like ‘amigxs’ can be written as ‘amigues’ so as to take a more ‘normal’ looking form. Now you know!

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Twenty Seven.

I can honestly say, I missed LA. I really missed this place so much and now I am home; I love it. I am happy to be home, to be free, to be able to drive and know where I am going but Oakley on the other hand. But I don’t mind London, it’s not a bad place just I need to have a little freedom in terms of just driving when I want but it’s so confusing, that place is just too much and I can’t deal with it so I prefer a driver and will always prefer that, but I am happy to be home and just be able to jump to places and go everywhere. The work is flowing in, I mean I am rarely here, so they jumped at me when I arrived, but I have been busy really, my management booked me in for a lot. It’s funny to see my fiancé face at the Fenty headquarter too, to see him actually take direction, it makes me laugh. Blowing an air kiss as Jen came over to me with her phone in my face “we have the Fenty babies here” I laughed “not that” rolling my eyes, she stopped recording “this place looks nice, it’s very stylish from the last time you all updated the office space. I mean you couple have removed his face” Jen laughed “well he is the face of it, what can we say. Hey, I give you something” she pointed as she sat down “since he did that, the population of men in Europe have bought Fenty Skin, so we are happy, the rise in men buying the skin care and to see the power that boy has overseas, it’s crazy, he is very popular there” nodding my head “yeah, it’s a different ball game there for him I think, he is hounded in a different way more then over here, I don’t know. I told him that maybe he needs to collab with a big American artist, he said he will, but he doesn’t so whatever” I shrugged “what do I know, but this office is cute. It’s weird being here” my mom made her way over “it is, like I feel so old because I remember the little girl that would be running around, when all this was being built, when all this was being made you was young and you would be up and down here, getting candy from people. Telling people who you are” my mom chuckled “and she said I will be your boss, remember” I rolled my eyes “I mean, that was short lived huh” I giggled “never too late, but you been very busy so thank you for coming” I sighed out “I didn’t think I was going to be, that vogue issue came out and that was it, management calling me go here and there, it’s been well but busy. Are you excited for the premiere?” my mom grinned “to have all my kids on the red carpet and the additions to it, yes I am. I mean minus Imani, but I am excited” Imani is annoying my life.

I have really been just around everywhere; it’s been just me and Tion for a few days now. Wake up and leave and come back late. I have been speaking to Oakley, but we haven’t spent that time together, he’s been ok because my family have been there and around, Damson too so he is entertained “mommy” Aziel said waving at me “morning baby, how are you?” he made his way over to me “where is your top gone” he smiled “I like it” side eyeing him “look, it’s batman” acting all surprised “wow, that is amazing. That’s his car, I love it baby. You go and play” I said to him, I have no idea why that boy is even topless “decided to join us, I mean you should be glad we made extras” looking around to the kitchen “where is he?” I pointed “outside, I am going to call him in, we made breakfast for you all, because we nice like that” making my way to the kitchen to sit down “aww thank you, the both of you. Also Ti, I know you have been taking care of Aziel for me” Ti smiled as she walked off “well it’s a big day today, and we are happy everyone is home, I think it’s a great joy” Damson is sweet “you are really a good person, to my sister” he laughed “I am ok, I mean we are like any other couple, but we have that spark, that love. I mean did I say love, but we have that. You know what I mean” smiling at him “I do, can you talk that into Oakley” he laughed out walking off “I get that a lot” looking over at Oakley, he made his way over to me “little miss busy and that” smiling at him “I know, I miss you” he pressed a kiss to my forehead as he sat down, I thought he would be annoyed with me “your dad makes me laugh, he an old man but just chilling and vibing to life” he sat next to me “my dad will never grow up, I miss you too” leaning over to him and pressing a kiss to his lips “I felt you come to bed last night though, I heard you groan out seeing Aziel in bed” I chuckled “yeah I was mad, like not him again I took him out of the bed straight off” I spat.

I am impressed with this breakfast “so, we are all sat here. You both better be coming to the party, don’t be boring now” Ti pointed at us both “this is the boring one, not me. He makes me boring” Oakley smiled “I said I will come; we discussed this already Tianna. I said I will come, it’s good vibes. Handsome man will be there” Oakley pointed, Damson laughed “shut the fuck up, handsome man. You can talk you pretty lesbian” Oakley snorted laughing “fuck you bro” they are both giggling “you piss me off, he out there trying to forget history. This pretty girl over there had the longest fucking hair, like bro cut it” Damson pointed “remember someone said are you a female?” they both sniggered “my voice didn’t break, my voice was squeaking, and she goes young person, can you help with this. So I did, and she goes thank you, I said it’s ok, then she turned to me and goes are you a female? I swear I was so mad, but like my voice didn’t break, I was like fourteen and squeaking like a bitch, then it broke and now it’s this. Deep as shit” Damson can’t stop laughing “you came into school that one day with a deep voice, then you switched. You switched onto shit; you flexed that shit so bad too” these two get on so well “you think you would crush on Oakley if he was in school?” Damson asked, looking at him “I have seen his school pictures and erm, I don’t think so” I laughed putting my hand over my mouth “that is deep you know!” Ti chuckled “I am sorry, but you looked like an average white boy, I don’t blame her, I mean even with Damson. He looked not good” least Ti is on my side with this “she goes oh no, this person is not you and I goes you only liked light skinned men! Be quiet” Damson spat “she will learn that I am the most handsome” shaking my head “they went to some celebrity school and learnt nothing” I gasped “Damson!” he is so rude “I am used to it, he does this a lot. He said we went to fake school” Ti waved him off “I am teasing, my bad but yeah, life is weird because in real terms I don’t think either of us would date each other” I pulled a face “he liked snow bunnies let’s not” rolling my eyes “that’s because he’s a white baddie” Damson got jokes “man shut up!” Oakley spat “I am joking” shaking my head.

To see us all done up, to see us go out together as a family. Oakley not dressed in something that isn’t a tech fleece or hoodies. I mean he refuses to wear anything suit related, but he will do anything, I am excited to see him in a suit for the wedding day, I might get emotional. I just know he will look so handsome “I love this look, Jah did you good. This little set up, he made us match” I am showing a little leg, Oakley eyes lit up “you look amazing” I pointed at him “so do you, look at this little jean and top set up, and the hair. You come to serve the bitches” he laughed “nah just you, I am happy with this, like that guy. Jah or whatever he said, we know your fussy. I looked hard but we have these three tops, and they all designer and I saw this sweatshirt, you know I love a good one and I got it so you happy with it” he asked me “I am happy Oakley, I love it. We look good and look at my Aziel” he is so into playing with his Batman toy “yeah, we look good. The car is outside though. They both gone already of course. Aziel come, let’s go!” Oakley said to him, I am super proud of my little family, we look amazing “we about to show out” I beamed “we are, I am happy” I cooed out, I love when he is happy, I think he is enjoying himself here, for once.

I am letting Oakley take the lead with this, I don’t want to be the one taking over when he is capable of doing it and I don’t want to be the one controlling it all “awww” I cooed out, Oakley fixed my dress once I got out “just under your feet, well heel” he said as he stood back “thank you babe” I smiled, they are all shouting a lot because my mother also came out and they are all seeing us together for once “I’m going to go on with Damson and then you come” Ti ran ahead of me “come here” holding Aziel helping him get out “you look so handsome baby” he jumped off the step, he’s in a good mood “we going to go to your mom” Oakley asked “yeah, let’s go” I pointed, letting Oakley walk ahead as I held Aziel hand as we made our way to my family “I was so confused, some white man walking to us” my dad plays too much “shut up” my dad and him dapped each other “you look so cute, Rylee I love it. Jah did you all good” I grinned “he did, thank you Jah” I said to him but he waved me off “don’t thank me, you look beautiful. A beautiful family” I am so happy “do you want to start walking to the carpet” the guy came over to us “let’s go” I said to him, Oakley looked a little confused but then he held my hand, and I held Aziel hand walking onto the carpet. I am so immune to the shouting now; I have no idea what they be saying but it’s whatever” turning around to the cameras “congratulaitons on the engagement!” I smiled “over here! Look over here!” I sighed out, bringing Aziel forward “beautiful! Beautiful! Central Cee! Kiss her cheek!” This is not him at all, he hates all this shit. Looking over at him “what” he said to me “ignore them” I laughed, he is smiling but is confused “kiss her cheek!” Why they keep shouting that, Oakley pulled my hand and bought me closer, he did kiss my cheek and I just smiled so wide “awww” they all said, I sighed out and I blushed because that’s cute of him to do that “Rihanna!!” Oh here comes my mother “move along” I said to him, Damson and my sister are waiting “my guy!! Red carpet thing” they dapped each other, they are happy which makes me happy, I just want Oakley to be happy really and comfortable and he is “looking like a beautiful ass family girl” Ti said which made me smile, to get these kind of compliments, it’s a boost because the disrespect I got from Vogue made me mad even though it got scrapped the party on what they said about, I don’t care for all that.

I like to know what Oakley is doing and he’s speaking to press, not like him at all and he’s laughing so it’s a plus for me, making my way over to him “yeah, yeah. Here she is” he pointed “here I am, what is this?” I laughed “we was asking him what made him love you, you know we love to see a love story, so we asked him what made him fall in love. And would you like to know his answer” looking at Oakley “yes I will actually, I need to know” he is red “he said her spirit, the thing that made me fall for Lee was seeing how selfless she can be, she has been through tough times and I see that for myself, we had our ups and downs but she has a good heart and loved a broken man” poking my bottom lip out “I love you” I said to him “stop it” he chuckled putting his head down “awwww he’s shy now, but what made you fall for him, you know we nosey over here. We need the information “my husband to be, he’s a very private man. The thing you don’t see publicly is how loving he is, how he does care, he does love me. He loves me for who I am, not my background and the beauty I mean that was a bonus for him” Oakley laughed out “yeah yeah, she know she bad” Oakley agreed “well Rylee, you have chosen a very nice gentleman, and thank you for the interview Central Cee” I smiled as we walked off “an interview, look at you. Cutie” he put his arm around me “it’s alright, they grabbed me. Cool though, they asked me about music and stuff like they didn’t belittle me” I poked my lips out “don’t say that, nobody belittles you” I just froze seeing North, she can’t be here. Is that really her and Saint, I just stared at them “what is it?” He asked, I am just staring at her, and he is walking towards me “erm” I just said “wow, you’re here” Oakley let out an oh, I haven’t seen North in so long, even P is here “Rylee, wow” she said, “you look like a grown woman” North laughed “thank you, you look well” Oakley held my hand “yeah we need to go somewhere” he lied “see you around” smiling at her, I know Oakley will not want me near her at all. He disliked North for so long and now she is here, it’s a weird feeling, a bittersweet one because she is, well was a best friend of mine “I ain’t know she was coming” Oakley said “same” I sighed out, that is so awkward.

I am loving life, this whole night and event is what I needed, and I’ve had the most enjoyment seeing Oakley have a good time too, I am happy that Damson is here with us and with Tianna because he pushes him to get out there “I am not young anymore, I’m going now. Because I got word that Amelia and Aziel aren’t doing well, but it’s ok. You relax, you have a good time. I got it and your dad will be here so have fun” I laughed, he is dancing away my dad “look at him but thank you mom, are you ok to have him tell tomorrow” she waved me off, her way of saying shut up to me. Let me go and find my man, I can get him to do a little moving on the dancefloor since he is in a good mood “Rylee” that voice alone made me freeze, not Saint “leave me alone” I looked towards him “I just wanted to say you look mighty fine” North rushed over “move” she said to him, after everything “sorry” North said walking over to me “it’s fine” I just said “Rylee, don’t walk away please” she knew I was about to run “we have been friends for far too long, in diapers. Come on, give me that time” taking in a deep breath “we have been through so much, I miss your friendship so much. I have seen that you are engaged, and you are on a different path in life, you are at a point of being someone’s wife, I am happy for you, but I also know you my friend. I know that you can do so much better Rylee, just because you had a baby by him does not mean you needed to stay with a man below you, god bless he beat cancer, but you didn’t need too, you loved him as a teenager, we all have our first love, you settled because you are too scared to be with others. I am sad you never got to live life Rylee, Oakley may not have been bad to you like Saint, but he knows he has you” shaking my head “living life isn’t going to city to city, meeting different men, smoking weed in the club. It’s nothing, life is when I see my son happy, that is life. I am not strung up at home North, I am always in different cities. I am not depressed or unhappy, I think you are. You are unhappy that you lost me, and I am not in the position you are in, looking for a man to love you. I am going to be someone’s wife, to a guy everyone doubts, I wish you was more of a friend to me then one of my haters, and it does hurt me because I also miss you, I think back to everything we did together but one thing” she is going to make me cry “out of all this bullshit, I got my sister. And she is my most loyal friend, I may have lost you, but I have her, and North” I sniffled “I do wish you all the best, and I do think of you. I hope you find a man that loves you because deep down you have a good heart” she put her head down, why am I crying and why is she crying “she made you cry?” Oakley said out of nowhere “no, it’s nothing. We was just talking” I sniffled “let’s just move from here, come” I said moving him back “you stay away from her” Oakley said “leave it please, come” wiping my tears, I don’t know why I felt that to my core.

[snezfics-n-shit]

yhnrmt - 3 boyfriends 0 braincells

First I want to thank @fluziska for being my rubber duck and putting up with me, I couldn't have shaped the antics of these three without their help.

Lar.ry returns from touring overseas. Mil.es has too much pride and Pho.eni.x accidentally enables him. Gu.msh.oe is a real pal. This story of sorts went through so many rewrites I cannot stress this enough.

     Larry had a habit of not telling his boyfriends when he’d be back in the country. He liked to surprise them as much as possible, even if it meant walking in on the two being intimate. He’s seen worse, he reasoned. Besides, what better time to surprise the couple than after a year in Europe? It’s not like Miles hadn’t done the exact same thing. Sure, that was prompted by a call Larry made, but other than that, it was the same.

Without thinking about how he would announce his return, Larry enthusiastically unlocked the front door and was greeted not by a human, but a large, very fluffy, white dog.

“Pess!” He cheered, happily accepting the dog’s wet kisses on his cheeks. What a lovebug she was! 

“It’s a good thing you’re not a burglar, Larry.” Phoenix observed as he stepped into the living room to spot him. “I wish you would’ve told us you were coming back so soon. We haven’t had time to straighten up the house.”

“A little surprise never hurt anyone, has it? Besides, I’m perfectly capable of cleaning up if you need me to.” Larry stood up straight with a final good pet on the top of Pess’s head. “So,” he cleared his throat, “what have you guys been up to while I was gone? It’s actually been pretty lonely at Franzy and her wife’s place. Our schedules kept missing each other, we hardly had time to talk about another book deal. She agreed on it, by the way.” 

“That’s great, Larry!” Phoenix smiled in pride before kissing Larry on the cheek. “Maya managed to get in another incident a few months ago, but as usual, I defended her and she’s off the hook. Here’s hoping she stays that way.”

“Heh, that’s Maya for- for yhh–!!” Larry was caught off guard by a powerful tickle in the back of his nose; Phoenix also seemed a bit unprepared for what was coming. “Hh’ggtish! Hn’KKSHiu!” Larry made a small gasp and turned away, keeping his head down. “Hhg’tisHHu!! Kk’tshiiu! K’kCHIUU!!”

“Wow, bless you. You’re not getting sick, are you?” 

Larry didn’t even have to look at Phoenix to know he was turning red from watching the display.

“No, no.” Larry insisted. “I feel completely fine.” He sniffled. “I promise!”

“For heaven’s sake…” Another voice joined the conversation: Miles. “You didn’t use any of the hand sanitizer I packed in your bag. You’ve been signing books in libraries filled with preschoolers, and who knows what everyone’s touched before boarding your flights…”

“Edgey, calm down!” Larry set down his bag and opened it to dig up an empty hand sanitizer bottle. “See? I used the whole thing! Used up the last little bit as soon as I was dropped off in front of the house.”

“Hmm…” Miles tapped his elbow with his index finger, sighing through his nose as he evaluated the situation. “Nothing wrong with some extra precaution.” He held his hand out to Larry. “Come on, love. Let’s get some Vitamin C in you.” 

“Like orange juice or is this an innuendo?” Larry smirked.

“Orange juice.” Miles corrected quickly. He was unaffected when Larry groaned in disappointment and simply led him to the dining room table so he could serve him a tall glass of juice.

Larry downed the juice quickly. If any cold was even thinking of settling in his system, he had surely just given it a run for its money. After all, last time he checked, Miles always bought the fancy vitamin-enriched orange juice, just like the kind Larry had seen in Franziska’s fridge.

“Done!” He beamed. “I feel better already! Picture of health!”

“Are you sure you’re alright? Cold or no cold, wouldn’t you rather get some rest after such an exhausting tour?” Miles asked. “We could draw you a hot bath, give you a massage…” 

“I mean, if you want to skip to what I got you guys as souvenirs, that’s okay too!” 

“You brought souvenirs? You know you didn’t have to do that.” Phoenix said that as if he wasn’t immediately curious about what Larry had gotten the married couple. 

“Of course I brought souvenirs! You don’t just visit three countries in Europe without buying something to bring back home. I mean, who would do that?” Larry shot a teasing glance at Miles. “I wasn’t sure how long the trip back home was gonna be, and Franzy’s place was packed to the brim with kombucha and stuff from her last health kick, so no snacks this time. Sorry about that.”

Miles couldn’t help but sigh, making a mental note to ask Franziska just what purpose a fridge stuffed with kombucha would serve, besides to give him a headache when she inevitably urges him to try it too.

“Okay, guys, I think you’re going to love these!” Larry made his way back into the living room for his bags, and Pess seemed curious enough to follow him there. “Don’t worry, girl,” he chuckled as he pressed a fist under his nose, “I got something for you, too.” He dug out three boxes from one of his suitcases, all cutlery from the countries he visited. “Ta da!”

Phoenix and Miles admired the images on the boxes; Phoenix couldn’t understand a word any of them said, but he knew enough about Larry’s taste in cookware to get the idea that these had to be high quality. 

“You bought three sets?” Miles’s eyes widened as he mentally calculated what must have been the cost. “I hope you were able to keep yourself fed.”

“I promise that was not a problem!” Larry assured him, sniffling. “Remember?” He sniffled again. “I was stayi’g with Fradzy!”

Phoenix’s expression fell from a fascinated one to one of concern.

“Are you, uh, doing okay?” 

“Yeah! Just gotta grab a tissue.” Larry yanked one of the soft tissues from a cravat themed tissue box Phoenix had bought as a joke. He took his sweet time blowing his nose, leaving Phoenix and Miles wondering if he really needed to take that long or he just liked the brand. He finally successfully tossed the tissue into the nearest trash bin and continued on with the souvenir gifting.

“Larry, you sound awful–” Miles tried to add, but Larry had already shifted his focus elsewhere.

 “Now, it’s Pess’s turn!” He grabbed a different bag and pulled out a large collection of premium dog treats; as he did so, he could hear Edgeworth muttering something about ‘spoiling her rotten,’ which Pess absolutely deserved to be! “I got to meet Shoe’s nutritionist and she set me up with all these!”

“Shoe?” Phoenix blinked. “The cat?”

“The cat has a nutritionist…” Miles processed the words slowly as they left his lips.

“Yeah, I mean, why not? Cats gotta eat well, too.” Larry shrugged with a grin before turning to the gift’s recipient. “So, what do you think, girl?” 

Pess responded by nuzzling against Larry’s cheek and then promptly shoving her nose onto the treat bag in hopes of digging right into its contents. 

“Looks like she likes it.” Miles observed, chuckling. “Unfortunately, it’s much too late for her to be eating more treats.”

Larry and Pess both looked at Miles’s face with nearly matching pouts. 

“You want me to starve her?” Larry accused. “So mean, Edgey. I can’t believe– Hh! Kk'sshhnn!! Kk’tshu!” Larry prematurely ended his complaints with a small groan, scrubbing his nose with his hands. “Gghhh… it itches…” He mumbled to himself.

“Larry… Maybe you should get some sleep.” Phoenix suggested very delicately. 

“You sure?” Larry sniffled. “I guess it is pretty late…” He conceded before yawning.

“We’ll see you in the morning.” Miles kissed the top of Larry’s head to send him on his way to the guest bedroom.

Phoenix and Miles watched quietly as Larry headed to get some sleep, and once the door had closed, the two looked at each other. 

“You don’t think…” Phoenix started.

“Absolutely not!” Miles scoffed. He knew where Phoenix was going and he was not going to have any of it.

Miles and Phoenix weren’t aware of it, but Miles’s response managed to carry across the hallway, enough for Larry to hear bits and pieces of the conversation. 

Eventually, the sounds of disagreements and Miles’s flair for the dramatic coming out in full force grabbed Larry’s attention enough for him to want to listen in. He peeked his head out the guest bedroom door. While it was easier to hear the conversation continuing in the living room, he couldn’t grasp the entire context of what his boyfriends were discussing.

“I have her papers kept in my office if you’re doubting me!” Miles huffed. 

“I never doubted that for a second, just you’re forgetting one thing…” Phoenix’s voice got infuriatingly softer, saying something that made Miles gasp in offense. 

“She is a lady, Phoenix!” 

“I never doubted that either!”

Ladies? Papers? Were they so sick of Larry they were setting him up with a woman? At least Nicky might be vouching for him. 

“If she is causing issues, it has to be something else.” Miles said adamantly.

“Like what?”

“Well, there are…” Miles’s list was hard to hear from afar, but Larry noticed it was rather long.

Phoenix lowered his head and sighed. Was this when he would finally talk some sense into Miles? When he’d say ‘Larry’s a great guy and we should keep him forever!’

“We could send him over to Gumshoe, maybe? See how he is there?” 

What!?

So Larry was wrong. Nick was voting for sending him away to Gumshoe, now. Gumshoe seemed happily married to Maggey, though… Was this Nick’s way of saying ‘go wreck someone else’s marriage?’

“And then you’ll see he’ll be just fine, I’m sure of it!” Miles assured with a grin. 

Larry didn’t think he was going to be just fine at all. Being sent away, after all he’s done. He wondered if tomorrow, this will all have blown over and his boyfriends will have forgotten this awful plan of theirs. That’s it, he was going to go to bed and in the morning, no one would mention sending him away to Gumshoe or anything! 

Perfect.

. . .

“Good morning, love!” Miles greeted Larry from the kitchen, carrying a large plate of pancakes. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, actually.” 

It looked like Miles and Phoenix had a good night’s sleep as well, given neither of them looked like they were intending on sending Larry to go bother Gumshoe like he had feared. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Phoenix asked, genuinely concerned and lacking that purr he had when asking such things out of pure lust. 

“Yup!” Larry confirmed with a nod. “I guess I was just beat from all the travel yesterday.” He looked around. “Where’s Pess?”

“Out basking in the sun as usual.” Miles answered. “Best to not disturb her nap,” he advised. “Speaking of Pess, I wanted to get your opinion on something, Larry.”

“Well, my opinion is she’s a very good girl!” Larry beamed.

“No, no.” Miles looked at Phoenix for a quick second before returning his attention to Larry. “Her groomer recommended a spectacular new shampoo, and I’d like to know what you thought about it. You did see a lot of pet experts while you were abroad, did you not?”

“Oh, yeah! Cat experts, mostly, but I probably picked up some knowledge on grooming products for dogs, too, without knowing…” 

“Perfect!” 

Miles ran off to the special bathroom almost entirely dedicated to Pess; anyone else might have said that such a room would be excessive, but Miles would insist those people were completely wrong. 

“What’s got him so happy?” Larry tilted his head.

“He’s just being… Miles again.” Phoenix sighed. “Just humor him.”

“I’ve never had any objections to that.” Larry shrugged. “Except maybe when he wanted me to bring that heavy Steel Samurai suit home and into the bedroom…” 

Phoenix blinked in surprise. Miles never told him about that particular encounter; he couldn’t believe they had been married for years and Miles was still such a mystery sometimes. 

“I found it!” Miles presented the pink shampoo bottle that looked better taken care of than most bottles he owned meant for human use. “What do you think, love?” 

“Well, uh,” Larry sniffed the bottle, “there are definitely notes of… peanut butter?” He raised a brow. “You know, I was kind of expecting something a little fancier.”

Miles frowned; Larry took that to mean he might have been offended at the implication Pess wasn’t fancy.

“Dogs just like peanut butter.” Phoenix explained, hoping to draw attention away from the confusion and disappointment he could feel radiating from his husband. “I grew up with cats, so that fact was new to me, too, when Miles and I started living together.” He was only half lying, since he had seen plenty of dogs enjoy the creamy treat before even befriending Miles, but it made for a much less tense conversation while Miles collected himself.

“Well then,” Miles cleared his throat, “we were wondering if you could drop this off at the Gumshoe residence this morning while we ran some errands. The detective has been dying to try this on Missile.”

There it was, Larry being sent off to Gumshoe’s, but— for an errand? That wasn’t half as bad as he thought! 

"I can absolutely do that!" Larry accepted the request with glee, puzzling his boyfriends with this reaction. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear you just wanted to share Pess's beauty routine." 

Phoenix and Miles looked at each other, both shrugging. As long as Larry was willing, everything would go smoothly… or, well, about as smoothly as their plan could possibly go.

As soon as Larry was out the door, much sooner than his boyfriends predicted, the two lawyers began to discuss their intentions for this errand.

"Do you really think this was the best way we could've done this?" Phoenix asked.

"I'm not going to just let Pess's qualifications as a hypoallergenic dog be questioned. Larry will be fine with a common dog like Missile who lacks access to all the high end grooming products Pess does, and then we can narrow things down from there." Miles proudly insisted that was the only way this could possibly turn out. "Pess is a very special and clean young lady, you know!" 

"Yeah, I know, babe, you told me that when you first got the idea last night. But what are you going to do if he isn't fine with Missile?"

"... That won't happen. I can assure you!"

… 

It happened. It was evident the moment Miles opened the door to greet Detective Gumshoe, who was resting his hand on the shoulder of a very pink-faced (and wet) Larry. 

"I don't think your boyfriend's feeling too good, pal." The detective observed softly. 

“I’b fide.” Larry didn’t sound all too convincing there. “It’s dot a big deal.” He sniffled. “I just– H’kksshh!! H'hggshhi! Hhg’tisHHu!!”

“Bless you! You look awful.” Phoenix pulled Larry into a hug. “It’s our fault, putting you through this.”

“No, it’s mine.” Miles spoke up. “I was caught up in my pride, and because of that–”

“What are you talki’g about? I bade the choice to play with Bissile.” Larry shrugged, completely unaware of the bomb he had just dropped. 

“You… You–!!” Miles stammered.

“I forgot to tell you guys, huh. Fradzy got pretty bad at be for that, too, actually… I guess I did’t wadt you guys to be weird about it, which you, uh, sorta did.” 

“Miles was the most weird about it.” Phoenix added with a smirk. 

“Well, isn’t this nice!” Gumshoe commented, seeming relieved to see the three come to as close to an understanding as they could get. “Are you gonna be okay now, pal?” He asked Larry.

“Yeah! I got the best boyfriehds id the world!”

“Awww,” Phoenix couldn’t help himself.

“And we have the best source of headaches in the world.” Miles kissed Larry on the cheek. 

“Yup,” Larry beamed, “that would be— hey!!”

In all fairness, the three gave each other an equal share of headaches, and were sure to give each other plenty more.

[neurosky]

Hi there- I’m pretty new to Tumblr so I still don’t 100% understand how it works. Also, my head is pretty fuzzy so the writing here might be really stiff and confusing.

I also have PANS/PANDAS. There aren’t many online that talk about it. I was incredibly happy to see your blog and diagnosis (which was pretty recent I think). Congratulations!

My symptoms started many years ago, when I was around 9. My behavior changed, my handwriting got really bad, etcetera. It got much worse when I entered 4th grade though. I remember freaking out over not being prepared for something, and was taken out for the first week. (I only found out about the first week bit again since I barely remembered that). Around this time, my mother was trying to find any kind of help. We eventually found one doctor, but since we lived in the USA we couldn’t afford the care. He actually mentioned PANDAS but we weren’t able to go through with any diagnosis.

I left the school I was at in the middle of 4th grade. Changed again when going into 5th. I barely remember anything from that point in my life. It just kinda sucked a lot. I couldn’t understand what any of the teachers were saying. Couldn’t do my homework. Couldn’t interact with others. We thought it would be better to go back to my first school, so in the middle of that year I switched again.

It was much more settled then. I had my old friends and knew the people there better. I also was in a better place family-wise (was living with my grandparents away from my dad during the other schools era). I still had trouble with things of course. I had to stay in during recess everyday because I was never able to finish my work. I still had trouble interacting with others, but I had old friends this time.

!!!/Warning for choking related thing. Don’t want that to trigger something

Over time I’d develop very specific fears that prevented me from doing things. I had an incident involving choking, and after that eating was incredibly difficult. I’m sure you could also relate to other people thinking you’re overreacting or faking it. My friends’ parents would ask, “why can you eat X but not Y?” My fears would get better over time, but switch out for new ones. They haven’t fully gone away either. I still have trouble swallowing, I have to sleep with my eyes covered in fear of sleep paralysis etc.

//

I started to develop an increasingly intense urge to daydream and pace. I’ve always had it, but it got to a point where it would take up most of my day. Spend hours walking in circles rethinking the same scenario in my head over and over.

8th grade came around and I went to another school again. The one I went to in 5th grade (confusing I know). This time around it was actually a lot nicer. I still didn’t interact with others -only one person a bit- but I was able to do my work well. There would be the one project once in a while that would make me breakdown of course. Especially if it had to do with presenting something. End of that school year though, I moved to Europe.

Moving to a new country was very difficult. I managed the first school year and finished my finals (I wasn’t fluent in the language I genuinely do not know how I passed) but by year 2 I couldn’t handle it. Second week I had to be taken out and we found a special therapist. I wasn’t able to reintegrate well but I could go for an hour a day sometimes.

It took a long time but my therapist was able to get me to a doctor that specializes in autism and other conditions. I went a couple times and after interviews and tests they brought up the idea of me having PANS/PANDAS. One doctor had a colleague that specialized in PANS/PANDAS, and was going to help us see him.

A couple days ago, I just finished my third IVIG treatment. Today, we just got news about all the care and benefits I’ll be able to get. It took very long, but I’m on my way to healing. I’m already feeling better in many areas. I’m nervous, but I’m more hopeful for the future!

I’m so sorry that was so long. And I’m sorry I’m posting this anonymously, I’m just a bit nervous about giving away too much information.

Just know that you aren’t alone! I related so closely to all the stuff you talked about. I read about you eating that salad and it reminded me what I did! Just a small positive thing like that make me so happy. I wish you the best! And it CAN get better!!!

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm sorry you had to go through this too, but I'm so, SO glad that you're on the road to recovery now. I totally relate to a lot of what you said too. It's so important to have a community and people who you can relate to.

I'm glad my posts can make you happy!! And you're right, it CAN get better <3

[forabeatofadrum]

Ljubim te (16/24)

Notes: Hey folks, I am back and I have some news. I have actually written almost all of the fic. Yes, I have finished chapter 16 up to 23 (🤯). I am almost at the end. I haven’t started chapter 24 yet, but all in good time, you know? The reason I hadn’t posted any of 16 - 23 yet is because I finished chapter 16 just now, so I obviously couldn’t post the others.

But now I can, so I will! A part of me considered posting it all in one go, since I am very excited to share it, but that is a bit much, so I have decided to post a new chapter every day.

Apart from that, I have also started writing a side-story from Quinn’s POV. It’s not finished yet and it’s longer than I expected, but it’s fun. Anyway, thanks for sticking around and enjoy reading.

AO3 | S&C  

–

MAINTAIN

Kurt doesn’t mean to torture himself, but he is. Why else would he be obsessed with the Instagram of one certain Quinn Fabray?

Kurt and Quinn never befriended each other on social media, because why would they? But Kurt’s befriended Blaine, and when Quinn suddenly popped up in the “Friends you might know” list, he should’ve closed the app, but he didn’t.

Blaine might not be super active on social media, but apparently Quinn is.

And unlike Blaine, she is posting about her trip.

Blaine isn’t in any photos, since they’re mostly aesthetic photos of food, buildings and landscapes, but it’s another confirmation that she is in the country.

--

Kurt needs to get out of the city.

A part of him thinks about going to London a month earlier than planned, but he’s not sure if Adam would appreciate that. It might also be questionable of Kurt to seek out his ex when he’s trying to flee from his new crush and his girlfriend. He and Adam are fine, which is why Kurt is going, but it feels wrong.

He doesn’t really have a lot of trips planned. When he first got to Ljubljana, he knew that he could travel throughout Europe, like André, but he decided that he had time to figure it out, but now it’s April and he’s halfway through his time here.

Fuck, Kurt misses his friends from home. He misses his dad. He talks to them a lot through text and he calls, but it is different. He knew he signed up for this and he knew it would only be for six months, but now he’s lonely.

He misses Blaine.

Blaine became his person in Ljubljana.

Of course he has Sunil and Tadeja. He also has people from his classes and from his play, and the International Student Organisation hosts a lot of events. Kurt’s also gone to the gay scene in Metelkova a few times and he’s met really cool people there as well.

Kurt isn’t alone, but he is lonely.

All of those people are here, and yet they can’t hold a candle to Blaine, which is pathetic.

--

The day after, Sunil and Kurt are on a train to Trieste. It’s a city in Italy, close to the border of Slovenia. Kurt’s already taken the bus to Zagreb but it’s still mindboggling that he can just take public transport into another country. This train even continues to Austria!

Kurt’s been wanting to see Trieste for a while. He had sort of planned on going here with Blaine, since he once told Blaine that he wanted to see the city, but of course, that plan fell through. Instead, Sunil is accompanying him.

When Kurt asked Sunil if he were down for a last minute trip to Italy, Sunil yelled “Fuck yeah!” and that was that.

The trip isn’t that long and the next thing Kurt knows, he’s in fucking Italy.

Kurt and Sunil try to see the biggest sights. They go to the beautiful piazza’s and cathedrals. Kurt isn’t religious and Sunil is Buddhist, but the church did go big with the aesthetics and they can appreciate that. There’s also a castle just outside of the city centre and there is a gorgeous pier, since Trieste lies at the coast.

And there’s coffee! There is a lot of good coffee.

“The owners of the coffee brand Illy are from here,” Sunil reads from his phone and Kurt thinks he might’ve found heaven. They stop by at multiple caffetteria’s, as they’re called in Italian.

Kurt’s having a great day and sure, it does sting a bit that Blaine isn’t here, because the two of them have talked about going to Trieste, but it is what it is.

--

The next day, Kurt knocks on Sunil’s door to ask if they can have breakfast in the city together.

And after classes, he texts Sunil to meet up in town to hang out at the Ljubljana river.

In the evening, he wonders if Sunil wants to grab some Boni together.

Kurt thinks he’s being such a great friend, but Sunil sets him straight.

“Look, Kurt, I’m flattered that you want to spend so much time with me, but you need to stop and think for a second,” Sunil says.

Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“We’re friends. Boni buddies and all that jazz. I like hanging out with you, but at this point I think you’re just using me to replace Blaine,” Sunil adds on.

Kurt wants to protests and tell Sunil that he is definitely wrong, but the words get stuck in his throat, because he knows that Sunil is right.

“And quite frankly, I don’t like that,” Sunil continues and Kurt feels like an ass, “I want you to hang out with me because you like me. We’re friends. I don’t want to be second best. You’re always with Blaine, sometimes even ditching me for him, and the moment he’s out of the picture, you come crawling back to me. How am I supposed to feel?”

“Sunil… I am so sorry,” Kurt says, but those words fall flat. Sunil looks really hurt. “I do like hanging out with you. I do think we’re friends and I hope to maintain that friendship even after we both go home to our own countries. But you’re right. I miss Blaine.”

“You’re forgiven,” Sunil says earnestly, “It is really crappy of Blaine to do this to you, so I get it. I just wanted to set things straight and make it clear to you.”

“Thanks. And it is crappy.”

“Won’t you see him at the game?” Sunil asks, “Maybe you can talk it out.”

“What game?”

“The rugby game,” Sunil answers.

Right. Kurt had completely forgotten about that. He, Sunil, Blaine and Quinn have tickets for a game.

“I don’t think he wants to talk,” Kurt says back, “I don’t think I should go.”

“Oh, I am definitely going,” Sunil says.

Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“Isn’t he ghosting you as well?”

Sunil nods.

“Yes, but I like rugby.”

Kurt understands what Sunil is saying, but he still thinks it’s not a good idea. Kurt also wants answers, but cornering Blaine at a public rugby game while his girlfriend is around isn’t a great idea. And he really believes that Blaine isn’t going to talk.

Blaine needs to come to Kurt. Trying to reach Blaine will only backfire.

It sucks, but it’s the truth.

“Does Tadeja like rugby?” Kurt asks.

“I don’t know. Why?”

“She should get my ticket.”

“Kurt-”

Kurt holds up his hand to silence Sunil.

“She can have my ticket. Make it a double date.”

It physically hurts to suggest that, but it’s what it is.

“… Okay.”

“Cool, I’ll e-mail it to you.”

“Right.”

“Then, I’ll just be off-”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Sunil exclaims, “What about the Boni?”

“You still want to get Boni?” Kurt asks.

Sunil looks amused.

“Of course. As I said, I needed to set things straight. You want to get Boni with me because we’re friends, and not because I am a substitute for Blaine, right?”

“Definitely!” Kurt says, and he means it. Sunil was right. Kurt did use him. But it’s a good thing Sunil called him out, because now Kurt’s aware of it and he can fully focus on just chilling with Sunil. “I’m craving Asian food.”

“Roza Slon or Bistro Suwon?”

“Let’s get fancy!”

“Suwon it is,” Sunil says, “Lead the way.”

--

End notes: Unlike Kurt, I didn’t go to Trieste. I wanted to, and I planned on it, but I had a pandemic. Italy was completely off-guard in the first half of 2020. There was a trip in February, but I didn’t go, because it was very early and I was still getting used to Slovenia. I thought it was fine because I thought I had time. Ah well.

Roza Slon is a Thai place and Bistro Suwon is a Korean restaurant. Roza Slon was actually my last Boni, unknowingly. The day after, I found out that the Boni period had ended. Bistro Suwon didn’t reopen after the first wave, so I was under the impression Covid killed it (like it killed Falafel Hiša and Grill no.12, forever in my heart). I have lamented over the closing of Bistro Suwon for years, but guess what, IT DIDN’T CLOSE! I only just found out while looking it up for this chapter. Hooray!

[rlvaille]

okay, i just want to briefly talk about the wayv fanmeeting so if you’re curious pls read but just know that i’m highly emotional and these are my own feelings and maybe it’s not going to be a super accurate account at all

so first what i want to say is that when they arrived on stage we noticed kun was sitting on a chair while the other four were performing, idk if that was the case in london as i haven’t seen any videos but just to say that yet again, an idol is physically unwell after a very long tour, and ofc he apologized to us and we told him not to, and he was like “i’m feeling better already so maybe i’ll dance a little tonight” and we were all like nooooooo pls rest, also i have to say this in passing but he looks better for real ?? like how ?? kun pls calm down, i know you used to be my bias but don’t come for me like that

anyway. ten. let’s talk about ten. another man i used to bias. coming for me again too. well well well. obviously the man loves his cats so he travels with cute pictures of them, how can i not fall for that, it’s just impossible. he showed us pics of his previous trips to paris where he had shorter hair and he was like “oh should i cut my hair” and everybody screamed nooooooo and surely that would be a crime, he looks extremely good with longer hair, why is that dude so attractive, also why is he so goddamn cute with cat ears when he asked us what was the french word for nyan and we said miaou and he said it and oooohhhh goodbye my heart, also all his interactions with yangyang are so cute it’s like two brothers, and when yangyang said they didn’t need to go see the mona lisa bc they had ten, why are these men so adorable, i love love love them so much, but i was supposed to talk about ten and now i digress bc i’m thinking of yy

my baby. idk, i don’t have the words, but he said “bonjour je m’appelle yangyang” and i was gone, i ascended and i’m still high up there, i can’t help it how my eyes will always seek him and how i’m always transfixed by his presence on stage, like yes i’m aware there’s ten and kun and even xiaojun but YANGYANG, i only want to look at yangyang when he’s dancing

oh bc yes i forgot to say, i had a seat way up high but right in front of the stage so i had a really good view - unlike at the atz concert where i couldn’t see a thing - so ig maybe that’s why i’m super happy, it’s really nice to actually see the choreos - and yes i typed whoreos and then corrected myself but my god they did love talk and nectar so what am i supposed to say, i love when men are sexy on stage, i love when they’re cute also, kpop is bad for the heart but it also makes me so happy, i hope they know they saved me, like literally, even my mom said i sounded good on the phone today, i wish i could have told them but maybe i’ll do that another time, they promised they would come back for a real concert and i know they always promise that but i hope this time it’s true, i know they want to come back to europe, esp yangyang he looked super emotional when he talked about how he used to live in germany, i bet he was super disappointed they didn’t stop there

i’m talking too much so i’ll just finish with this, they sound amazing live, they’re super fun and endearing, apparently hendery has a lot of french fans, like the venue literally went crazy every time he did or said something, and ten bought macarons and coffee and a lovely antique mirror and wine and cheese and yeah if yangyang wasn’t up there ten would be my man but it is what it is, honestly the dude knows what’s good about life, i’ll just stop there but i’m going to cherish this moment for a very very long time - and i almost didn’t go bc i was feeling so depressed but i’m glad i did even tho i was stuck in traffic jams coming and going and there were thunderstorms on the highway, it was totally worth it