#I have written romances that I've enjoyed in the past

[p0tat0-g0ddess]

I'm snatching this because I'm supposed to be writing rn and want to procrastinate

Hurt-comfort, heavy on the comfort. Bonus points if it's platonic

On that note, platonic relationships and family in general, found or otherwise. I keep having to sit back and stare at the walls because I'm so overwhelmed by this scene I'm writing now (family members being reunited, it's making me crazy in a good way)

Road trips, apparently? I realized at some point that the majority of my fics involve A Quest lol

Christian themes, especially redemption arcs. How blatent they are varies from fic to fic, I have one where the protagonist just starts quoting scripture at the villain in the ending scene.

A cheeky bit of romance. For the longest time I have not understood romance (hello, local acearo here) but in my latest fic I am enjoying the romance SO much actually it's changed my perspective on writing the genre.

Tagging the first fic writers that come to mind, which are @clawedandcute, @galaxythedragonshifter, @thegreenleavesofspringand @moon-bell5

5 Things I enjoy writing about!

I was tagged by no one lol but some of my friends were doing this so I'm jumping in!

action scenes! Fights, chases, sports, etc... I like getting to focus on movement and the body rather than thoughts and feelings lol. And I get to pull out all the dramatic vocabulary >:3

worldbuilding! I LOVE being able to use all my random knowledge about language and culture and art and geography/geology and economics and--

anything else I can connect to my non-fiction-related interests ig! I like to center my characters and stories around stuff I like, like birds or ships or music!

characters who are very different from me! It gives me a chance to get out of my own head and stretch my creative muscles. More often than not, I also find ways in which they do have underlying similarities to me which is fun in its own way. something something the unique yet interconnected nature of humanity

bittersweet endings! I love it when my characters have to give up some part of themselves or something they love in order to live better lives. Perhaps it's not even bitter at all, they just realize they've changed and now have to reinvent themselves.

I will tag @vellatra, @atamascolily, @augustsails and anyone else who sees this post!

[rufflebuttercup]

romance analysis unit | spencer reid

summary: you like spencer. spencer likes you. somehow, you're the only ones on the team who can't see it - and that calls for some BAU intervention.

a/n: i had a bit of an impulsive moment and decided to delete my old blog (vintagecarat) because i wanted a redo, so if you've seen a variation of this fic before, it’s not been stolen - i promise! this is my favourite x reader i've ever written, so i had to rewrite it, of course!

enjoy the fic, and have a fantastic day! <3 requests are open!

note(s): gn!reader & no pronouns used, mention of alcohol, mention of canon-typical violence, reader gets hurt, mentions of blood, one bed trope

word count: 5,173

One year, seven months and sixteen days. That's how long it had been since you'd started working at the BAU.

One year, seven months and nine days. That's how long it had been since you'd realized that you had a sickeningly huge crush on Spencer Reid.

It had been a long time since you'd had a crush. The last time had been in elementary school, and you'd been convinced that you were in love with the boy who sat two seats to the left of you in class. He’d gone on to marry your best friend and leave you with a broken heart. In hindsight, though, you were only five.

You'd fallen for people before, and you'd had a string of partners in the past, but it had been such a long time since you'd felt the way you did when you looked at Spencer. Seeing him smile made your heart thud erratically in your chest. Hearing him ramble made you smile in the giddiest and most euphoric way possible. Feeling his fingers brush against yours whenever he handed you your morning coffee made your brain turn to mush and left you unable to form a coherent sentence for at least ten minutes. You were trying your hardest to break that last habit, though.

Your crush on Spencer quickly became a topic that you knew you wanted to keep a secret from the rest of the team. The last thing you needed was all of your progress as the newest team member to be weighed down by a crush that made you blush and giggle like a child.

During a particularly wild night out with the team, though, your plan to keep your crush on Spencer a secret went flying out of the nearest window, along with any shred of dignity you had remaining after drinking one too many shots. It had been a miracle that Spencer hadn't been there at the exact moment the words spouted from your lips. At least you had your drunk self to thank for something, you supposed.

Penelope had been the first one you'd told. Definitely a foolish move on your part, but you were too drunk in the moment to make any logical decisions. Emily and JJ had gone to the bar to get more drinks - "another round of shots", Emily had screamed before dragging JJ away - leaving you and Penelope alone to guard the table in the corner. She was the one who'd brought up the conversation, and naturally, you'd followed along without a care in the world. If there was anything good to come of the situation, then it was the look on Penelope’s face. You wished you’d taken a picture of her expression as the words tumbled from your mouth.

Penelope couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, and once she knew, it was only a matter of time before Emily and JJ knew. She’d screamed so loudly that you’d almost gotten kicked out of the bar for causing a disturbance.

"Place your bets," Emily had shouted over the pounding bass music, slamming a twenty-dollar bill onto the table, "How long until Garcia tells Morgan?"

It barely even took an hour. Emily ended up winning her own bet.

Derek had practically cornered you at your desk the next time he saw you in the bullpen, failing miserably to hide the smirk on his face as he showed you his phone and the babbling, completely unintelligible, texts from Penelope.

With the alcohol out of your system and the devastating hangover a painful memory, you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole. Maybe you could quit, or request a transfer, or simply disappear to the other side of the country and become a recluse in the wilderness. Wishful thinking, of course.

From that moment on, you noticed that the rest of the team was messing with you. You didn’t have any proof, but you were sure of it. You’d enter the conference room to find that the only seat remaining was next to Spencer. You’d find yourself paired up with Spencer more often during cases. You and Spencer would frequently be the last two members left in the bullpen at the end of the day. 

It wasn't as if you particularly minded. You and Spencer were best friends. You had been from the moment you'd walked into the bullpen on your first day and immediately made a comment about the book he was reading. You were used to being around him more often than not, but it was a lot harder to act as if nothing had changed when you were on edge 90% of the time. You were always wondering if he knew anything about the crush you had on him, or if someone else was about to blurt out the secret that you were trying so desperately hard to keep hidden. You couldn't bring it up because you'd either out yourself or you'd be forced to have a conversation that you were sure would end in rejection.

It was an endless cycle, and you hated it.

You were in the bullpen with Dave, perched on the edge of your desk as he rattled off his famous carbonara recipe. You’d always wanted to be a better cook, and Dave had promised you that he'd teach you, even though he really didn't want you burning his kitchen down to the ground.

“Okay, so, do you add the cheese and the egg together, or separately?”

“You combine the egg first, and then you add the cheese.”

“Oh. Right. So…”

It was at that moment that Derek decided to sidle over to the conversation, perching himself on your desk beside you with an all-too familiar smirk on his face. 

“Since when have you been interested in learning how to cook?” he gave you a not-so-subtle nudge.

You shot Derek a glare, “Derek. Don't.”

"Unless you were planning a date for pretty boy over there.”

He nodded his head in Spencer's direction, and you couldn't help but follow his eyes. It was automatic. The sight of Spencer pouring pretty much the entire jar of sugar into his coffee made you smile, but it was definitely an expression you wiped off your face when you heard Derek's laughter.

“I swear to God, Derek…”

“Guys,” JJ interrupted, entering the bullpen with a case file in hand, “We've got a case.”

“Is it bad?”

JJ simply grimaced. 

“Of course it is,” you said with a sigh, hopping off your desk. Derek was still failing to hide his laughter beside you, and you swatted at him, “Shut up, Derek.”

“I didn't do anything.”

“You didn't have to.”

It didn’t surprise you at all to see that the seat beside Spencer was the only one available. As you slid into it, you caught Emily smirking at you from across the table, though she was clearly trying to hide it. You shook your head at her, though you couldn’t stop a tiny smile from ghosting over your lips as you focused your attention onto the case file in your hands.

ꨄ︎

It always seemed as though every case at the BAU was worse than the last one.

You’d all been called to a small town in Wyoming after a frantic call from the police department. Three victims had been found in the town’s frozen lake with anchors tied to their ankles to keep them below the surface. A fourth victim had gone missing, and there was no doubt that she’d end up like the others if she wasn’t found. It was a horrifying fact that everybody knew, but nobody wanted to admit.

It was later, almost 11 pm, and you were no closer to solving the case than you had been when you’d first arrived. It was as if the unsub was always three steps ahead of you, and it was frustratingly annoying. You’d spent a good portion of the afternoon scouring through decade old case files. The lead detective was convinced that it was related to a similar case that had happened in the 1990s. You hadn’t found any striking similarities between the two and you were beginning to wonder if there would be any at all. He was clutching at straws, desperately trying to close the case as quickly as possible. You couldn’t fault him for that.

Just as the words on the case file were beginning to blur into one large amalgamation, a gentle hand landed on your shoulder, “Hey,” JJ said, “We’re all heading to the hotel.”

“You go ahead,” you waved dismissively, stifling a yawn, “I’m going to finish looking over these files, and…”

“Hotch’s orders,” she cut you off, “You need a break. We all do.”

You looked to the doors of the precinct and saw the rest of the team ready to leave, muttering amongst themselves in a tired conversation. Aaron raised his eyebrows, almost expectantly, at you.

“Alright,” you didn’t bother trying to hide another yawn, “I’m coming.”

JJ smiled softly at you, almost dragging you to your feet because of how exhausted you were. It didn’t really feel as if your brain was in control of your body as you padded after her. You’d been so caught up in the details of the case that you hadn’t realized how tired you truly were. The sudden rush of air that hit you as you exited the building made you even drowsier.

“You look exhausted,” Spencer chuckled as he helped you into the SUV with a gentle hand on the small of your back that almost made you combust right then and there, "I've seen you tired, but this is another level."

You simply made a little grunt in response. You didn't have enough energy to come up with one of your usual witty comebacks. You clumsily collapsed into your seat, and you leaned your head back against the headrest as your eyes fluttered shut.

It wasn't too long of a drive to the hotel, but that didn't stop you from catching a quick power nap during the brief moment of peace. You couldn't get Spencer out of your head. Or, more specifically, that hand on the small of your back. He'd never touched you like that before. Ever. It was sending your brain spiraling, to be honest.

“We’re here,” Spencer’s voice filtered into your ear as he gently shook your shoulder,  “Wake up.”

Your eyes snapped open, and you glanced to your left. After a moment, your eyes came back into focus, and it hit you that your head was leaning on Spencer’s shoulder, “Oh,” you quickly sat up, though you almost choked as the seat belt snapped you back against the seat, “Sorry.”

You were so very glad that most of the team weren’t in the same SUV as the two of you because they’d never let you hear the end of it. The only other person was Aaron, and as you caught his eye in the rearview mirror, you could tell that he was trying not to uncharacteristically laugh at you. You did your best to ignore him, which wasn’t exactly easy when your face began to burn with a familiar wave of heat that you’d grown accustomed to.

That chuckle of Spencer’s that you loved so much and made your heart do flip-flops in your chest echoed in your ears, “It’s fine. You clearly needed it. And I do make an excellent pillow.”

You snorted out a laugh, and you gave him a shove as you climbed out of the car beside him, “Shut up.”

The rest of the team were all waiting beside the front desk with their bags as you and Spencer entered. Even though you made sure to look in any other direction, you definitely saw the subtle smirks Derek and Emily were shooting you out of the corner of your eye. 

Aaron finished his hushed conversation with the receptionist, and with a curt nod, he moved back over to the rest of the team with key cards in his hand, “They don’t have enough rooms for all of us. Looks like we’re doubling up.”

If Spencer noticed the subtle smirks and side glances from the rest of the team, he never mentioned them.

Instead, he nudged your shoulder, “We’re sharing, right?”

“Of course, we’re sharing. I wouldn’t expect anything less,” you took the key card Aaron was holding out to you, and you couldn’t help but notice his lips twitching up into a tiny little-half smirk. You brushed it off, though, “I’m sleeping on the bed nearest the window this time.”

“That’s not fair,” Spencer followed you as you made your way to the elevator, “I like sleeping near the window.”

“No. Not happening. You slept near the window last time.”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as the elevator shot up to your designated floor. Your eyes wandered around the small space, and you found yourself looking anywhere other than at Spencer. You weren’t an anxious person, and it wasn’t as if being alone with Spencer was a new thing to you, but your mind was racing. All because of that one small gesture. His hand on the small of your back. You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and you wished you could because it was making your cheeks burn.

“Even the elevators are fancy,” you muttered, casting a quick glance around the elevator’s plush and yet miniscule interior, “For a small town, they sure do have nice hotels.”

Things really were dire when you started making small talk. You were the type of person who could make a mountain out of a molehill with how much you talked. You almost rivaled Spencer with how much you could babble on. Small talk wasn’t your thing at all.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Hm?”

“You hate small talk,” Spencer said, and you bit back a laugh at that. It was as if you and Spencer were on the same wavelength sometimes, “And you’re picking at the hole in your sweater. You only ever do that when you’ve got something on your mind.”

You immediately glanced down at your hands, dropping them from your sweater as if it burned. You hadn’t even realized you’d been picking at the hole until Spencer mentioned it. You hadn’t even realized that there was a hole at all. Your bottom lip jutted out in a quick pout, “I love this sweater.”

Spencer chuckled at that, “So,” he continued, “You’re clearly nervous about something. And it’s not the case, because cases never make you nervous.”

“Really?” you said, a hint of laughter creeping into your tone, “You’re analyzing me?”

The elevator reached your floor, and the doors opened with a loud ding, “I’m not analyzing,” Spencer stepped out, “I’m simply making an astute observation.”

“Okay, well stop astutely observing me,” you followed after him, “Don’t worry. I’m fine. You know I’d tell you, “ it wasn’t necessarily a lie. Maybe you’d tell him. Eventually. 

Spencer glanced back at you briefly as if he didn’t believe a word coming out of your mouth, but he never said anything. Instead, he took the keycard from you and held it against the lock, waiting for the light to turn green before pushing open the door, “Oh.”

“What?” you sidestepped around him, “Oh.”

There was only one bed. Sure, it was a double, but it was still tiny. It was in that moment that you decided perhaps becoming an unsub wouldn’t be a lost cause. 

“I’ll take the couch.”

“I can sleep on the couch.”

You and Spencer finished your sentences at the same time, and you turned to look at each other. As soon as you locked eyes, you both started to laugh at the stupidity of the situation. 

“I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the couch either,” you argued, “It’ll kill your back, Spence. You’re way too tall.”

“It’s not fair on you, though. You’ll…” Spencer was about to argue some more, but he stopped when he saw the look on your face. Spencer couldn’t argue his way out of a wet paper bag - when it came to you, at least.

“Look, Spence. It’s fine,” you dropped your bag onto the couch before he could protest, “There. Easy. No harm done.”

Spencer frowned, but he reluctantly put his own bag on the bed, “Fine. We’re swapping tomorrow night, though,” he told you, almost ordering you, “You’re not sleeping on the couch the entire time we’re here.”

“Deal,” your lips curled up into a smile, and you sat down on the couch, “See. I told you I’d be sleeping near the window.”

Spencer laughed at that. 

ꨄ︎

From your space on the couch, you could faintly see the glowing green alarm clock that sat on the bedside table. A strange commodity for a hotel room. It almost looked alien. 

2:32 a.m. 

You couldn’t sleep. You had a bad enough sleep schedule at the best of times, but the injury on your side was making things worse. It still burned, and if you gently put pressure on the area, you could still feel the deep wound through the layers of bandages. 

You were almost three days into the case, and you’d finally had a solid lead. It had taken a lot of digging, but Penelope had discovered the unsub’s hunting ground; an old speakeasy hidden so deep in the town that nobody had been able to trace it. Since you were the closest in victimology, you’d agreed to go undercover to catch the unsub once and for all. All you’d ended up with was a knife embedded deep into your side as the unsub escaped once again.

You’d been in the hospital for hours after that. The knife had gone in so deep that it was close to catching something vital, and the doctors had told you that you were lucky to be alive. You’d spent most of that afternoon in a hospital bed, listening to the monotonous sound of beeping machines. After a concerned lecture from Aaron - he’d told you not to follow the unsub but you hadn’t exactly listened - you were bandaged up and sent on your way.

Spencer had told you to take the bed. He’d almost forced you into it at one point. But you’d seen the way he’d tried to discreetly stretch out his cramp throughout the day, and you were far too stubborn, so you refused his offer and tried to sleep on the couch for the night. It wasn’t working, though. 

You huffed in pain, shifting uncomfortably in the hopes of finding a better position to sleep in. Every movement made your bandages rub against the wounded area. You finally thought you found a comfortable enough position and you tried to settle down, but then you felt a dampness seeping through your bandages, and you cursed under your breath.

“No, no, no,” you muttered, pulling your shirt up and surveying your body. Even in the darkness, you could see the dark spot where the blood had begun to soak through, “Goddamnit.” 

You pushed yourself off the couch and tip-toed across the room. You didn’t want to wake Spencer, especially not in your current state. You kept a hand tightly pressed against your side as you slowly moved. You didn’t want to get blood on the carpet. The staff seemed lovely, and you didn’t want to ruin their day with your mess. Every single step made you wince as a sharp pain shot straight through your body, and your breaths came out as sharp little puffs of air. 

A muffled noise from the bed caught your attention, and you saw Spencer begin to stir. He gently mumbled your name as he sat up and stared at you with bleary eyes, “What are you doing?” he looked you up and down, and then his eyes settled on the blood, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you told him, though you clearly weren’t, “I think the stitches came undone or something. It’s fine,” you tried to wave his worries off, “Go back to sleep.”

Spencer did the opposite. He clambered out of bed and turned on the light, lighting up the room so that you could both see each other clearly. Your heart started to thud a little faster when you saw that the shirt he was wearing to sleep in was a little undone towards the top. You’d never noticed that before. 

“You’re not fine,” his eyes were laser focused on the blood as he took a step closer to you, “You’re bleeding.”

“Good observation skills, Spencer,” you laughed a little, though you grunted in pain as it aggravated the injury, “I told you, it’s fine. I’ll redress it, and…” you paused when you saw the look in his eyes. It was a look he’d never given you before, and it stole your breath for a moment. 

“Let me see.”

“Spencer...”

“It’s obviously hurting you,” his sentence was almost demanding, and yet there was a soft and concerning tone to his voice, too, “Let me see it.”

You sighed. There was no way you could refuse when he spoke to you with that tone of voice. You gingerly lifted your shirt high enough for him to see it, “It looks worse than it is.”

Spencer gently pulled away the loose bandages and inspected the open wound, his eyes never leaving your body, “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, “You’re not redressing it yourself, and you’re certainly not stitching yourself back up.”

You barely had a chance to respond before Spencer had darted into the bathroom, and he came out moments later with a roll of bandages the hospital had given you. 

“Here. Sit,” he sat back down on the bed, and he patted the space beside him, “You’ll have to go back to hospital tomorrow. I’ll help you rebandage it for tonight,” his eyes darted between your own eyes and the blood that seemed to be pooling on your side, “Please.”

You hesitated for a moment, “Spencer…” there was no point in arguing with him, you knew that, and your wound hurt the longer it was left open, “Fine.”

You sat down beside Spencer, curling your legs up under you as you turned your back to him. Your hands gripped the hem of your shirt, holding it up high enough so that it wasn’t dangling in the way. This wasn’t the first time that Spencer had patched you up after an injury in the field, but this was the first time where you were definitely feeling a little light-headed. 

“Ow.”

“Sorry,” Spencer’s voice was a gentle whisper against your ear. You hadn’t even realized that he was practically leaning his head on your shoulder, “Sorry.”

Spencer’s hands were so gentle on your skin that it was almost as if he wasn’t even touching you at all. The only indication that he was even helping you was the bandages around your torso since he wrapped them so tightly that they felt like a strangely comforting hug. 

“There,” Spencer said, almost proudly, and he gave you a pat on the shoulder, “Done.”

You glanced down at your body before dropping your shirt. The wound didn’t even seem to hurt any more. You became very aware very quickly that Spencer’s hands hadn’t left your hips, “Thank you.”

You shuffled around until you were facing him, and when your eyes locked, it suddenly felt as if time had come to a standstill. That look was back in his eyes; the one that you’d never seen before that made you feel as though you were melting on the inside. You weren’t entirely sure what was racing faster; your heart or your mind. 

And suddenly, before you could really comprehend your actions, your lips were on his. Your body acted before your brain could catch up. Your hands tugged slightly on the collar of his shirt as if you were trying to pull him closer to you. The kiss was tender, and yet it was so full of obvious desire. Warmth flooded your entire body as your stomach seemed to explode with swarms of butterflies. This was a moment you’d thought about for a long time, and once your brain caught up, you couldn’t quite comprehend that it was happening.

It may have only been a few seconds, but it felt like hours. You pulled away, and it was only after you saw the startled expression on Spencer’s face and the faint blush that crept up his neck that you realized what you’d done, “Spence…” your mouth opened and closed, but now words came out for a good few seconds, “Spencer. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

Your panicked babbling was cut off as Spencer pressed a quick kiss to your lips, “Shut up,” he smiled, and he pressed his index fingers where his lips had been moments ago, “Just shut up for a minute.”

If this were any other time, you’d be rather offended that he told you to shut up, and you’d keep talking. In this situation, however, you were happy to keep your mouth shut.

“You didn’t mean to, what? You didn’t mean to kiss me?”

“No. I mean… Yes, but also no, but…”

Spencer raised an eyebrow with a faint smirk, “I thought I told you to shut up.”

You pressed your lips together in a fine line, “Sorry.”

Spencer’s hands left your hips, and he took your hands in his own. He squeezed them gently, and his thumbs began tracing soft little circles onto your palms, “You kissed me.”

You were more than ready for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Spencer seemed to notice because his grip on your hands got a little tighter as if he knew you’d go run, “I’m glad you kissed me.”

There was no stopping the surprised squeak that escaped your lips, “What?!”

Spencer chuckled at that, and the pink blush had spread up to his cheeks, “I’m glad you kissed me,” he repeated, “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”

“You… You…” your mouth was hanging open, and your eyes were wide. You must’ve looked like an absolute idiot, “You have…?”

“Of course, I did.”

This conversation was going in an entirely different direction to how you’d assumed it was. You’d never seen Spencer look or talk with so much affection before. Spencer said your name with so much love in his tone that it snapped you out of your shocked state, “I like you.”

For a single moment in time, it felt as if the world had stopped spinning. You simply stared, unable to do much of anything else except feel a sharp tug at your heart, “You… You do…?”

“Are you capable of putting a sentence together, or not?” Spencer laughed, and he interlaced his fingers with yours, “Yes, I do. A lot, actually,” he smiled at you, and there was a hint of teasing, “I might be a genius, but even the dumbest person in the room could figure you out right now.”

You cracked a smile, and your shocked expression gave way to a relieved and delighted one, “I really like you, too.”

“Do you? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Shut up,” you giggled, and you never giggled. You knew this crush was childish, but this was on another level entirely.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you giggle.”

“I’m not giggling.”

“Oh, you absolutely are. You’ve always been a terrible liar,” Spencer grinned at you, and then his lips connected with yours. 

The kiss seemed more affectionate than earlier, and a lot more passionate. Your hands wound around his neck, and his hands found a comfortable resting place on your waist. Your lips seemed to perfectly fit together like two puzzle pieces. It could’ve been seconds, or it could’ve been minutes. You weren’t entirely sure how long it had been, but you eventually pulled away from each other, and you were both a little breathless from the intensity. Intense was something you never expected from Spencer. You liked it, though.

You let your forehead rest against Spencer’s, “I hate to ruin the mood and everything, but…” your eyes flitted back and forth to the couch, “Does this mean I don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore?”

“Absolutely not,” Spencer pulled you a little closer, “You’re not sleeping on the couch. Especially not now.”

“Good,” you curled into him as he pulled you closer to his side, letting your head rest against his chest with a gentle sigh, “The bed has better company.”

Spencer maneuvered the two of you until you were lying on the bed, and he tucked you that tiny bit closer into him. You’d imagined him hugging you plenty of times, but this felt better than any imagination could. He kissed the top of your head, and he ran a gentle hand up and down your back, “Sure does.”

ꨄ︎

“Penelope Garcia! I’m going to kill you!”

You stormed through the BAU and entered Penelope’s office, slamming the door open with such a bang that it made the walls shudder.

Penelope grinned as she spun around in her chair to face you, “Ah, my sweet angel,” she spoke with a beaming grin on her face, “Do you require my assistance?”

“You little…” you stepped a little closer, but it was hard to look even slightly threatening with a goofy grin on your face that you were trying to hide, “You gave me and Spencer the only room with a single bed?”

“I did no such thing.”

“I spoke to everyone else, Pen. Everyone else had a bed of their own.”

Penelope continued to smirk at you, not even trying to hide her laughter, “It worked, didn’t it? I haven’t seen you as happy as this in weeks.”

You faltered at that. She wasn’t wrong. Ever since you’d gotten back from Wyoming, you’d been happier than anyone had ever seen you. Of course, everyone knew about you and Spencer, and it didn’t take long for the good-natured teasing to pick straight back up, “Yeah. Okay. It worked, but…”

Penelope held up a manicured finger to cut you off, “Besides, my sweet,” she continued, leaning forward in her chair as if she had a secret to tell you, “I was the one who booked the rooms, yes, but I wasn’t the one who handed out the keys, was I?”

Another pause. The words slowly sunk in, and then your mouth dropped open in a mix of shock, humiliation, and a little bit of gratitude, “You… You don’t mean…”

Penelope grinned. She could practically see the gears turning in your head, and it made her laugh, “Oh, I mean exactly what you think I mean, my love.”

“Hotch set us up?!” you didn’t even wait for Penelope’s response. You turned on your heel and marched out of her office, leaving Penelope laughing to herself behind you, “Aaron Hotchner! I’m going to kill you.”

[justmeinadaze]

A Love That Will Survive (Eddie Munson X You)

A/N: I seriously have no idea where this came from but I worked really hard on it and I think it's the longest story I've ever written.

Please enjoy <3

Warnings: Husband Eddie & Fem Wife Y/N, The timeframes shift from young to older with 20 years of Marriage between them, SMUT, lose of virginity, dirty talk, lots of needy energy but all of it is with the love these two have. FLUFF, dad Eddie loves his kiddo and wife and vice versa.

ANGST, reader has an unexpected pregnancy her senior year of high school, she's from the richer side of Hawkins so her parents hate Eddie causing problems multiple times, Eddie and Y/N are in therapy, reader feels Eddie pulling away, Flashbacks with fights between the two of them (verbally), Eddie gets into a fight defending Y/N when some asshole grabs her arm. Y/N defends her husband against her parents. Eddie talking about fears of becoming his dad.

More than anything this is about a couple who's struggled with trials and tribulations of life and marriage but still love each other immensely.

Word Count: 12,541

Eddie Masterlist/ Donate to Me

1986

“Dooooo you love me more thaaan Henderson?”

“Yes. That was the easiest question you’ve ever asked me.”, Eddie chuckles as he blows the smoke from his cigarette towards the window. 

“Do you love me moooore than D&D?”

“Uh oh. They’re getting harder now. Of course, baby.”, he smirks as he kisses your forehead.

“More than your guitar?”, you giggle as he heavily sighs and tosses the stick between his fingers out the window before flipping you onto your back as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. 

“How dare you bring my guitar into this!”, he lightly scolds as he nibbles at your skin making you laugh harder as you wrap your arms around him. “Y/N, I fell in love you the moment I met you. I was waitin’ for a girl like you…” Your eyes roll as he laughs through his teeth before singing, “…to come into my life.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“I love you to.”

***

2006

“So…how have things been this past week?”, the therapist asks as her gaze shifts between the two of you. 

Neither you nor Eddie says a word as his eyes penetrate into the floor as if hoping it would open and swallow him up. You two had been married for almost 20 years and to some that would be an incredible milestone of love but little did the people around you know how mind-numbing marriage had become. 

When you two met there was a fire within him that you absolutely adored. He was always so animated about things he enjoyed like playing guitar or D & D. Even when he spoke about you, his hands would flail as he desperately tried to get the words to leave his brain to accurately describe how perfect you were to him. 

You weren’t sure when it happened but at some point that light and the romance just…disappeared. When Eddie came home from work smelling like motor oil and beer, he barely said two words to you before showering and crashing in bed. If he didn’t promptly fall asleep, he would pound his feet against the mobile home floors in his sweats and slight beer gut with his bare, tattooed heavy chest on display as he headed out front again to smoke a cigarette. You still thought he was incredibly attractive with scruff along his chin and the way his lose strands of hair hung around his face when he pulled it back for work. Unfortunately, the two of you hadn’t been intimate in quite some time, barely even holding hands anymore when you went out somewhere. 

The few times you did have sex, you both only took off the clothing required and he thrust into you with barely if any foreplay until you both came. Afterwards, there was no cuddles or soft kiss. You two would roll over and just go to sleep.

“Y/N?”

“Huh?”

“How’s this week been?”, the therapist asked again but softer as if treading water.

“Oh, uh, it’s been alright. Caleb went back to school on Sunday so that was hard. I miss him when he’s away.”

“I can imagine. Having any child away from home is hard but when its your only child…oof.”, she chuckles. “How about you, Eddie? How did you feel when your son left?”

“Um, I mean…it’s fine. I miss him to but I’m proud of him for going to school so…”

“Neither of us got to.”

His eyes close slightly before focusing on the woman in front of him. 

“Why did you say that just then, Y/N?”, she asks in her inquiring high pitch voice that tells you, you just stepped into a “lesson”.

“I just meant that I’m proud of him to.”

“Because he got into college or because you two didn’t?”

“What’s the difference?”

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”, you growl. “I’m proud that my son doesn’t have to struggle like we did. He can go out, live his life, and do whatever he wants. That’s all I ever wanted for him.”

“Because of me you weren’t able to.”, Eddie grumbles.

“That’s not what I said.”

“Not in so many words but—”

“Do you blame him?”

Everything became silent as your husband leaned back on the couch and heavily sighed. 

“No, I don’t.”, you responded sternly as you folded your arms. “Me getting pregnant wasn’t his fault.”

“But you resent him a bit?”

Without waiting to hear your answer, Eddie got up and stomped out of the office.

##############

1986

The metalhead paces back and forth with his hands on his hips as you sit silently on his bed with your head hung. 

“I don’t understand. We were so careful and we used protection. How could this have happened?”

“The nurse suggested that the condom may have broken.”

“It didn’t look that way.”

“Oh, because you checked it thoroughly before throwing it in the garbage?”, you respond sassily as he angrily glares your way. “What are we going to do, Eddie?”

Hearing the pain in your voice breaks his heart and he promptly places himself beside you to pull you to his side. 

“Everything’s going to be alright, sweetheart. We can do this. We graduate in a couple of months and then I can get a job at the shop over here. I know cars so it shouldn’t be a problem. You, of course, can stay here till we find a house and then we can—”

Your lips cut him off as you cup his face in your hands to hold him to you. When you pull away, his palm laces around the back of your neck to keep your forehead on his.

“Will you marry me?” When you giggle through your tears, he can’t help but laugh as well. “I’m serious. I can take care of you, babe. Plus, you know I’ve wanted to marry you since I first met you. We’re just kind of…skipping a few steps here…”

Your eyes watch him as he yanks off one of his rings and kneels down on one knee in front of you with your hand in his. 

“I’m gonna get you a better ring, princess, I promise but like you this is special to me and I mean it when I say I want you to be my wife forever.”

Smiling, you kiss him again as you slide his ring on your finger. 

“Of course, I’ll marry you, Eddie Munson. 

***

The entire ride back home he didn’t say a word; chain smoking his cigarettes along the way. 

“Eddie, wait. Can we talk?”, you plead as soon as you enter the front door.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

 “I don’t resent you or the life we have!”, you scream as he tried to disappear down the hallway. 

“Oh, great. Thanks, sweetheart. Now that I know that I can fucking sleep tonight.”, he responded with a tone that had you huffing as you ran after him into your bedroom. 

"What I resent is this!" His intense, brown eyes follow your hands as you gesture absently between the two of you. “When did you stop fucking caring?!”

“I do care.”

“Do you?! You barely talk to me anymore, we don’t spend time together, and when you are here physically you seem gone mentally. You always have a cigarette or a fucking beer in your hand… I mean we don’t even really fight anymore. It’s always me shouting at you while you stare at me like you are now!”

“What do you want from me, Y/N?”

 “I just want you to show some kind of emotion! You used to be so animated, Eddie, and now you just…I don’t know. You’re not as passionate as you used to be.”

“I’m not in my 20s anymore, babe. I’m sorry I’m not as spry as before.”

“Like you would know. You don’t even try or anything. We aren’t old, Eddie, and now’s our time to do everything we wanted.”

“Because I ruined our youth by knocking you up?”

Your eyebrows furrow together as you blink back tears that try to push forth. 

“No, you asshole. Because you said, you wanted to spend forever with me.”

With that, you turn around and stomp out the back door. 

##############

1988

“Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn Yeah it does, Caleb.”

 Eddie softly smiles as his son’s tiny palm taps the guitar his fingers were strumming on. Your own grin paints your lips as you watch him pet his unruly curls before continuing to play. His voice was a bit more rugid than normal but you assumed that was because he had been at work all day and had yet to rest. Even now his jumpsuit hung around his waist and he had patches of dirt clinging to his skin but he missed Caleb a lot when he was away. 

Eddie as a father made you fall even more in love with him as you watched them play or do anything together. He had been working back-to-back shifts to help pay for certain things your son needed and you missed him every day. 

“Hey, baby?”

“Hey, princess?”, he cooed back making you giggle. 

“How was your day?”

“It was alright. Angry customers and stupid people so ya know…Hawkins.”, he beams your way as you come over to sit beside him and pick up the baby to sit on your lap.

“You know you don’t have to work so hard, right?”

“I know, sweetheart. I just want to make sure you both have everything you need and to get us out of this fucking trailer.”

“It’s technically a mobile home…a bit bigger.”, you smirk as he leans forward to kiss your forehead. 

“But you both deserve a house and I still haven’t gotten you a proper engagement ring.”, he sighs. 

“Eddie, I love this ring. It was a part of you and it feels like you’re holding my hand throughout the day.” 

“I don’t deserve you.”, he murmurs with a smile as he kisses your lips before Caleb swats at his cheek. “Hey, hey, dude. She was mine first. Don’t get jealous.”

***

2006

His boots bang along the wood of the back porch as Eddie steps outside to find you laying on the trampoline you had gotten Caleb for his 8th birthday. His son was so ecstatic when he opened the box, begging his father to put it together right that moment. They both spent the evening working as a team to put it together and they laughed the entire time. 

The metal clanked against his belt buckle as he awkwardly climbed up to lay beside you, your eyes closing as you listened to the lighter shut as he lit a cigarette and breathed out the smoke. You would always associate that smell with him. The smell of smoke mixed with his breath that smelled the way he used to taste, intoxicating. The scent of gasoline and his leather jacket when he came home from work. 

Eddie. 

“Do you remember when Caleb broke his arm jumping on this thing and he didn’t even cry?”

The trampoline underneath him shook slightly at your laughter. 

“Yeah, he came in holding his wrist and said ‘Mom, I think we need to go to the doctor.’ Scared the crap out of me.”

“When I showed up at the hospital, he showed me his cast like it was an award or something. He said he was going to be the coolest kid in class.”, he chuckled as you both continued to look up at the sky. “He didn’t need an injury to be cool. Kid was always badass.”

“Do you still love me?”

Taken aback by your question, his head snaps in your direction. 

“Of course, Y/N.”

“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes. For a while I thought maybe this was normal, that we would grow distant as the years passed but…” Your eyes turn to meet his. “…this doesn’t feel normal.”

“What are you trying to say to me right now?”

“Caleb’s an adult now and like you said… you knocked me up. You…you don’t have a reason to stay.”

Eddie blinked as his jaw tightened and you watched his anger flow through his facial features. Rolling off the trampoline, he tosses his cigarette and stomps back into the house, slamming the door for emphasis. 

################

1992

You gnaw on your thumb as you glance towards the kitchen wall clock. Your husband was supposed to be home at 8pm and it was now 11. You had an absolute shit day and wanted to crash early after a long bath but you needed to talk to him about something important. The longer you waited the angrier you became. 

At 11:30pm, the door slowly squeaked open as Eddie tried to quietly sneak in.

“Where have you been?”, you ask sternly eliciting a heavy sigh from him as he shuts the door loudly. “You were supposed to be home four hours ago.”

“I worked late and then Steve invited me out for a beer.”

“It smells like it was more than a beer.”, you sneer as you roll your eyes. “I needed to talk to you about something important but fuck me, right?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. What do you want? What’s so goddamn important you can’t wait till tomorrow.” Without saying a word, you try to head towards your bedroom but he quickly reaches forward to grab your arm. “No, hey, I want to hear it because obviously it’s a big fucking deal.”

Furiously, you smack the paper in your hand into his chest. 

“Your son needs school supplies and other things for next week. I get a discount at my store but I still don’t have enough for that and our mortgage payment.”

“Ok.”, Eddie sighs as he scratches the scruff on his face and looks at the list. “Ok, this isn’t too bad. We can—”

“It’s not just this. He’s going to need money for lunches and his teacher said they are going on a field trip in October and he needs to pay for the ticket. How are we going to afford that?!”

“Y/N, calm down. It’s August. We can cross that bridge when we get there.” Again, you try to leave but he tugs you once more. “What? What is it now?!”

“Eddie, it’s like you don’t care! We need to think of these things!”

“Just because I’m not flipping out like you are doesn’t mean I don’t care!”

“You always do this! You always make me the bad guy!”

“That’s not what I said, Y/N!”

“You don’t think I want to go out and have fun with my friends to?! I wish I could have a beer with Nancy and Robin after work but I can’t because I have to do EVERYTHING around here! And that includes figuring out how our son is going to be able to eat, have the things he needs, and also be allowed to have fun with his friends by going on that field trip!”

“When did you get so fucking uptight?”, he grumbled. 

“When I married you, apparently!”

“Yeah. Well—”

“Daddy?” Caleb’s tiny, sleepy voice cut through your argument as you both turned to face him as he rubbed his little eyes. “Mommy? Why so loud?”

“I’m sorry, baby. Were we being too loud?”

“Uh huh.”

As you step towards him, your son automatically extends his arms so you can lift him and he rests his head on your shoulder. 

“Hey, kid.”, Eddie smiled his way as he lightly tickled the boy’s neck with his finger making him giggle as he keened into you more. “Come on. Let’s get you back in bed.”

The metalhead followed close behind as you head for Caleb’s room and place him under his covers. 

“Mommy? Were you guys fighting because of me?”

Tilting your head to the side, you sat by his legs as you turned to face him. 

“No, baby. Daddy and I weren’t fighting. We were…”, you pause looking at your husband for help. 

“We were…talking incredibly excitedly. LIKE THIS!”, Eddie shouts causing his son to laugh. “Sometimes adults forget to use there inside voice.”

“Like—like Jackie’s parents?”, he asks, you and your husband exchanging a knowing look. 

Jackie was the little girl in the mobile home across the street and who Caleb played with on the weekends. At night, occasionally, you three would hear her parent’s fighting and sometimes she would come over for dinner just to get away. 

“Um, yeah, buddy.”

“Except not as mean. No mean names.”

“Pfft yeah. No mean names. Mommy would kill me if I called her something mean.”, Eddie jokes as he makes a slicing motion with his finger and pretends to fall to the floor dead.

“I would.”, you widen your eyes playfully as he beams your way and you bend down to kiss his forehead. “Alright, go to sleep. I love you.”

“I love you to, mommy. Love you, daddy!”

“Love you to, freak. Ow!”, he chuckles when you lightly slap his chest before winking Caleb’s way. 

After closing his door and heading to your own bedroom, Eddie tugs you into his arms and hugs you to his chest. 

“I’m sorry I was late and made you feel that way. I do care. We’ll get him everything he needs and I’d be more than happy to watch him while you hang out with the girls. He’s a cool kid and I know Wayne has been dying to see him.”

Pushing up on your toes, you tenderly kiss his lips. 

####################

2006

“So, tonight is the night, right?”, your therapist asked during your next session.

It had been a week since your conversation with Eddie on the trampoline and he had barely been home that entire time. You knew where he was because you passed the mechanic shop to get to work and his head was always stuck under the hood of a car he was repairing.  

“Yeah, my parents are doing their annual charity thing and we’re forced to be there.”, you sigh as your whole body deflates. 

“No one is really forcing you, Y/N. You’re a grown woman who can tell her parents no.” The therapists head ticked to the side as your own hung. “Why are you still afraid to stand up to them?”

“I…I don’t know how.”, you whisper causing your husband’s eyes to scan over you before glancing towards the therapist. 

“She did it once and it didn’t end well.”, Eddie explained as he straightened his jacket and sat up a bit. “When she told her mom she was pregnant and marrying me, they told her she wasn’t allowed and how ‘unbecoming’ it was for young ladies or some shit. She told her mom to fuck off and her dad got so pissed.”

You can’t help but smile when he chuckles. 

“I didn’t actually say ‘fuck off’ but I did stand up for you. I just hated the things they were saying about how you were beneath us. Oh my God and then he came towards you like he was going to hit you.”

“You jumped in front of me. I was so pissed off when we got home because you put yourself in harms way.”, he shakes his head before his eyes lock with yours. 

“I’d do it again.”

When his toothy grin softened to a smirk, for a moment, you felt that spark again that ignited within you when you two first met. Did he feel it to?

“What happened after that? Why do you go to this event every year then?”, the therapist asks and the moment passes. 

“Huh? Oh, appearances mostly. Since we got married, I wasn’t viewed as much of a slut as some other single mothers in town. It was fucking stupid but…I wanted Caleb to have his grandparents and at least they were good at that”

“Mhmm. But Caleb is 19 and in college…so why do you keep going?”

You blinked as you took in her words as if she just told you the weirdest thing you had ever heard. You genuinely hadn’t thought about it, pretty much going on impulse at this point. 

“I go for her.”, Eddie answers as he exhales and leans back on the couch. “I wasn’t going to allow her to face that chaos by herself.”

“You’ve always been very protective over Y/N. It’s definitely something I admire about your relationship.”

Your husband shrugs as his gaze shifts to the window behind her. 

“She’s my wife and the love of my life. I’d do anything for her…even leave…if that’s what she wants.”

To your therapist that seemed random but you understood. It was Eddie’s way of telling you that he didn’t want a divorce but if you did, he’d understand. 

“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to fight.”

***

1997

“Hey Grandma!”, Caleb shouts after you take off his jacket and hand it to the man your parents hired to work for the evening. 

“Shhhhhh. Now Caleb, how do we speak when at a social function?”

“We use our inside voice and manners.”, he recited, your son smiling as your mother beams at him and leans down to kiss his cheek. 

“Good boy! Oh my goodness look at you in your little suit. You look so handsome.”

“Thank you ma’am. My dad and I went to the store together.”

“Oh? You never would have been able to guess with the ensemble he’s currently wearing.”

“Mom.”, you scold as Eddie’s fingers twitch slightly around your waist. 

“Always good to see you, Angela. Would you look at that? Steve is by the bar. Excuse me.”

“Mom, they both spent over an hour getting ready for this. Can you please be kind?”

“Hm, I can’t make any promises. Oh, Y/N, it’s Michael and his mother. Didn’t you go to school with him?”

Pointing at something in the distance, you grab your son’s hand and hastily make a getaway to where Steve, Nancy, and Eddie were gathering in a corner. 

“Hey, dude.”

“Hi, Uncle Steve and Aunt Nancy.”, he grins as he leans in to give her a hug around her waist. 

“Are your parents here to, Steve?”, you ask.

“Of course. Wouldn’t miss a chance to show off their wealth for the world.”, the man sasses as he points to where they were mingling with other guests. 

As the night wore on, you saw how it affected your husband as he continually either adjusted his uncomfortable clothes or did whatever he could to maintain a conversation with someone even though anyone that passed by usually only wanted to speak to Steve. 

“Y/N, you need to go talk to Michael before he leaves.”, your mom commands as she tries to pull on your arm. 

“Mom, no. Michael and I aren’t friends nor will we ever be or anything else you try to push on me.”

Narrowing her eyes, she succeeds in pulling you away but instead of towards the other man, she guides you into your old bedroom. 

“Y/N, I’m trying to help you here.”

“How can Michael Wescott help me? I don’t need anything from him.”

“You need a better husband and father for that child.”

Your mouth falls open as her insult pierces your heart. 

“Mom, Eddie is a good husband and a wonderful father. He works hard for us both and I love him. I’m sorry you can’t see what an amazing man he is.”

“No but I can see my only child living in a trailer with barely enough means to get by. Honey, he still hasn’t even gotten you a proper engagement ring and it’s been 10 years!”

“I’m taking them both out of here right now! You never took the time to get to know him like I did. If you had you would see why I love him with all my heart!”

As you open the door, you were met with your husband chugging back the last of the liquid in his glass before tossing it onto the floor where it shattered. 

“Eddie…”

Without saying a word, he grabbed your hand and collected his son so the three of you could leave. 

######################

2006

“What do you think?”, you ask as you step into the living room and display your blue, spaghetti strap evening dress with your hair pulled up and away from your face.

Eddie tore his eyes from the mirror where he had been straightening his tie and when they landed on you, he felt his heart skip a beat. 

“I think…wow, you look fucking amazing, princess.”

It had been so long since you heard him call you that and a heavy sigh left your lips at the sound.

“Th-Thank you, baby.”

Smiling softly, he extended his arm for you to take and guided you to your car. The entire drive to your parent’s house, you took an opportunity you hadn’t in a long time and rested your head on his shoulder. His chest heaved but he leaned his head on your own as his palm rested on your thigh. 

“I think you look handsome to by the way.”, you grin as he pulls into the driveway, flashing you a nervous smile with a little chuckle. 

“Thanks. Let’s see what sarcastic comment your parents have to say. I’m guessing something about me not trying or maybe I’ve gotten too fat to wear a suit.”

“Eddie…you’re not…don’t say it like that.”

“Like what? It’s true, I mean I’m not as scrawny as I was 20 years ago.”

“I like the way you look.”, you sigh before turning to open the car door but his hand on your bicep stops you and your eyes meet his. “We can go back home if you want. Steve and Nancy can’t make it and Caleb isn’t here so—”

“So it’s ok for me to leave you to handle your parents alone while they talk shit about me?”

“Ugh, nevermind.”, you huff as you step out and saunter towards the front door. 

“Y/N, wait. I didn’t mean it like—”

“Y/N! There’s my little girl.”, your father grins wide as he wraps his arms around you. “Where is my grandson?”

“He went back to school a couple of weeks ok, dad.”

“Aw that’s too bad.” Ignoring Eddie’s extended hand, your dad drags you further into the house to find your mother who also ignores your husband as she gives you a hug.

“Oh, baby, you look so beautiful.”

“Thank you. Eddie looks really good as well tonight don’t you think?”

“Edward, oh my. Didn’t even see you there, honey, which is shocking given how much weight you’ve gained since we last saw you.”

“MOM!”

“What!? I’m just saying—”

“No, no, sweetheart. It’s alright. I have put on a couple of pounds but in all the right places. I mean, I’m not just slouching forward because I’m lazy. You know what I mean, Norman.”, Eddie winks as he pats your dad on the arm while you try to contain your smile and for added effect he reaches down to adjust the bulge in his slacks. “Excuse me while I go mingle.”

####################

1984

“I think this is the best Halloween I’ve ever had.”, you beam as Eddie chuckles beside you, continuing to slowly turn the merry go round you two were sitting on with his foot. “I think this is the first year I haven’t dressed up like a princess.”

“Well, Sarah Conner, you’re still a princess to me.”, he grins as he hands you another piece of candy. “Are you cold? You can wear my jacket if you want to.”

“No, Kyle Reese. I think I’m alright.”

His smile widens as you lay back and he does the same, placing his bag of treats and fake rifle that rounded out his ensemble above your heads. 

“My parent’s always do that masquerade thing for Halloween and I always hated it.”

“I can imagine. Being stuck inside with stuffy adults in those Victorian costumes would drive me crazy to. Then again being stuck inside with Wayne in a trailer watching reruns of Stephen King movies isn’t exactly thrilling either.”

Eddie grins when you laugh before it tapers off and you both just lay there in each other’s presence. You had been dating this metalhead for about a month and you appreciated him taking things slow with you but as your eyes scanned him over you suddenly wanted more. 

“Thank you for taking me out tonight and showing me a good time.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I like spending time with you.”

“I was wondering…could you…show me something else?”

Eddie’s foot drags along the ground forcing the merry go round to jerk to a stop as he pushes up onto his elbow to look down at you. 

“W-What, um, what would you like me to, uh, show you?”, he stuttered nervously making you giggle a bit. 

“Could you…show me how to…kiss a boy?”

“I mean, I’ve never kissed a boy myself but…”, he laughs through his teeth and your smile grows. “Yeah, I can show you.”

Your eyes remained locked on his as his palm comes down to cup one of your cheeks and he gradually lowers himself till his lips are hovering just above your own. His breath smells like chocolate and nicotine but there’s also a hint of something else you desperately wanted to identify. As his thumb tenderly caressed your skin, his mouth finally connected to yours and as soon as they did you felt your entire body come to life. 

It was a soft kiss at first but soon grew bolder when you figured out what that additional something else was, Eddie. That was the best way to describe it and it tasted so good that your hand snuck just below his ear to hold him closer. 

Your hips twisted to be closer to him and he didn’t miss a beat as his palm slid down you back to press your lower half harder against him. 

“Eddie.”, you whimper involuntarily as his mouth released yours long enough to catch his breath before diving back in just as eagerly. “Eddie, Eddie, wait.”

At your firm command, his hand came back up to cup your cheek. 

“Are you alright? Did I…Did I go too far?”

“No, no. I just…this is all new to me. I want to go slow.”

“I…I understand. I understand.”, he panted as he wiped your spit from his lips and winced slightly as he rolled over back onto his back. 

It took you a moment but when your eyes glanced along his body, you noticed the large bulge pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. 

“I’m sorry.”, you whisper with a slight crack in your tone that has his head shooting up to look your way before following your eyeline. 

“Hey, sweetheart, no. No reason to be sorry. I’ll be ok. Trust me, I’m a guy with all the hormones. I’ve gotten boners in pretty uncomfortable scenarios believe me.”, he laughs hoping to make you laugh as well. “Don’t ever be sorry about this kind of stuff. I can go as slow as you need me to and I’ll be here, babe. I, um, I really like you…a lot.”

Taking ahold of you, he maneuvers you by his side with your head on his chest. 

“I like you a lot to.”

##############################

2006

You watch with a small smile on your face as your husband talks with some of the other guests at the party and you couldn’t help but think of your therapist’s question as you sipped your drink. 

Why did you keep coming here? 

Habit maybe? Until you met Eddie you really did do everything they wanted completely unsure of what else you should be doing. You went to all their events, smiled, and spoke to anyone they told you to, even wearing clothes they suggested because you had yet to really find your sense of self. When you met the metalhead, he showed you a completely different world that you absolutely enjoyed and loved experiencing with him. 

Even when you both got married and had Caleb, you couldn’t picture anyone else you wanted that life with other than him. Sometimes you wondered what life would be like if you hadn’t met Eddie. You pictured an unhappy girl married to an equally unhappy man who was incredibly vain and never home to see his children. 

Your husband was a wonderful father and a good man to you both. Even now with your marital problems, he still came to therapy with you and never once cheated or hurt you. 

“Y/N!”, you mother called interrupting your thoughts. “Baby, look who I found.”

You didn’t even try to hide your sigh when she pushed Michael forward to shake your hand. 

“Michael. How have you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been good. I just closed a big case and made partner at my firm.”

Your eyes widened sarcastically as you nodded while your mom got a bit too excited, clapping her hands and congratulating him. 

“That’s so amazing! Isn’t it amazing, Y/N?”

“Super. I’m, um, I’m just going to…” As you point towards the balcony, your mother grabs your wrist.

“Y/N, be polite and take him with you.”, she whispers.

“I don’t want to be polite.”, you growl as you pull your arm out of her grasp. “I’m married mom. I have been for 20 years to the man I love and have a son with. Stop pushing Michael on me which by the way is super weird that he’s still single after all this time. Didn’t that thought ever occur to you?”

“No because all I thought about was how my daughter deserves better than a man she was forced to marry because he got her pregnant.”

Rolling your eyes, you hurry outside onto the balcony by the pool and inhale the night air as you try to calm down. 

“Hey Y/N.” Sighing, you turn to face Michael who was slowly walking towards you with his hands in the air. “I just wanted to come and apologize for all that back there. I’ve never been the one to ask your mom to introduce me. She does that on her own.”

“Yeah, she does that.” Your eyes scan him over before giving him a polite smile. “Thank you for coming over to apologize. I really appreciate that.”

“It’s no problem. My own mom is a bit pushy to so I get it then again I haven’t gotten married yet so that could be the problem.”, he chuckles and you can’t help but laugh with him. 

***

2002

Eddie storms into the house after work and slams his keys loudly down on the table before heading to the fridge to pop open a bottle of beer. Slowly getting up from the couch you meet him halfway as his fury filled eyes meet yours. 

“So are you going to tell me why you’re upset or…”

“Doesn’t matter.”, he grumps as he stalks towards the sofa and hurls his body onto it. 

“Obviously it does so why don’t you quit with the foreplay and just tell me.”

When he doesn’t answer, you shrug and head for your bedroom, smirking to yourself slightly when you hear his boots bang against the floor as he follows. 

“I came to visit you at work today. Thought maybe we could have lunch or something.”

“Ok…and you didn’t because…?”

“Because when I got there you were flirting with some asshole.”

“I’m sorry what?”, you ask genuinely confused with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Oh, you don’t know who I’m talking about? Tall, black hair, young, looks like Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street.” When you giggle, his eyes darken. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to but I just can’t believe you’re actually fucking jealous of a twenty-year-old who has a girlfriend by the way. What the fuck is wrong with you? After all this time why would you think I would cheat on you now with some kid from work?”, you reply sarcastically.

“Well, Y/N, you’re not fucking me! So…”

Your eyes widen in shock and you wonder if he can see your heart break. Controlling any tears from escaping, your jaw tightens as you tilt your head.

“You’re right I’m not. Maybe I should fuck him. Wouldn’t be the first time I slept with someone who was beneath me.”

It was an automatic reaction that had Eddie moving before he could stop himself. His hands were around your biceps and suddenly you were against the wall with his nose just inches from your own. His chest rose and fell as angry breaths escaped his nose. 

As quickly as it came, it left with a blink as you saw the darkness recede and the man you fell in love with take over again. His mouth fell open as his eyes continued to run up and down your body as if he was trying to figure out what just happened.

“Mom?” 

Both your heads turned to see your teenage son leaning in the doorway with a concerned look painted on his features. 

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. I just had the worst day and your dad was trying to make me feel better. Are you hungry, Caleb? Do you want something to eat?”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eddie fold himself as he took a few steps away from you. 

“Um, yeah, but I can make myself something—”

“Oh, don’t be silly. Just give me one moment, ok?”

Nodding, he turned to head towards the kitchen but when you swiveled around to face your husband, he had already disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door.

***

2006

Eddie loved watching you interact with people. He knew who you were before he even introduced himself having seen you skip happily around the school with your books close to your chest like Molly Ringwald in any John Hughes movie. You spoke with your hands and smiled as you nodded your head as you seemingly absorbed what people were saying to take a piece of it with you. 

You had always made him feel heard. 

The metalhead thought he didn’t have a chance with a girl like you but when your beautiful eyes landed on him after bumping into him in the library, he knew he had to try. 

Over the past twenty years, he felt like he slowly watched that light leave you and he knew it was his fault. Just like his dad did with his mother, it was unavoidable. 

Going outside to get away from the people in your parent’s house, he leaned over the rail wishing he could smoke but knew if your mom smelled it on him she would have something to say and he didn’t want to deal with all that right now. 

Suddenly, Eddie heard a sigh in the air and as he peaked around the corner, he saw you exhaling into the night sky. 

The way the wind moved your hair had him smitten all over again as he remembered cold nights of you two sitting on his bed with the window open after making love and you in one of his shirts as you leaned your head outside to feel the breeze while he smoked. 

You would smile and he would randomly reach out to touch your face wondering what the fuck you were doing with him. 

Eddie couldn’t help but huff when another man came out to talk to you. 

Michael; the asshole your mom kept pushing your way. 

You seemed annoyed at first but then you laughed. God, he adored that sound more than anything in the world. The first time Caleb laughed he silently thanked the heavens it sounded exactly like yours. 

“I said no.”, you shouted sternly with eyes filled with anger. 

Pushing at his chest, you tried to walk away but Michael grabbed your forearm to turn you around and Eddie saw red.

#########################

1986

As Eddie starts to take off his suit jacket, he notices you staring at yourself in the mirror above his dresser as you carefully untangle your hair from the veil you had clipped into it. 

An idea crosses his mind and he digs through his records before popping in a cassette and waiting for it to play. 

Meeting his eyes in your reflection, you giggle as the synth fills the room and he reaches for your palm that you eagerly take. Wrapping his arms around your waist, you do the same around his neck as you both begin to sway to the music. 

“When you love someone It feels so right, so warm and true I need to know if you feel it too Maybe I'm wrong Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?”

As he sings along, your smile grows and at the chorus he scrunches his face as he obnoxious belts out the lyrics.

“I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life I've been waiting for a girl like you, you're a love that will survive I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life”

“You’re such a dork, Eddie Munson.”

“Yeah, but I’m your dork, Y/N Munson.” At the use of your new name, you tilt up on your toes to kiss his lips and lean your head against his chest. “What’s wrong, princess? Thinking about your parents?”

You nod as you continue to sway to the music. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m sure this isn’t exactly how you pictured your wedding day but—”

“Shhhhh.”, you shush as you tilt back and place a finger over his mouth. “I had a great day, baby. Yeah, I wish my mom and dad could accept us but I love you so much. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”

He sighs as he kisses you again and holds you to him once more. 

“I love you to, sweetheart. You’re safe with me and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to give you a happy life.”

“As long as I have you, I’m happy.”

***

2006

“Excuse me?”, you ask the man beside you hoping you didn’t hear him correctly.

“Come on. You heard me. You deserve better than the life you have and you we both know people like us aren’t trailer trash.”

“Define ‘people like me’.”

Gesturing towards your parent’s house, he raises an eyebrow as if to signal it should be obvious.

“Wow, no wonder my mother chose you. You’re a fucking asshole.”

“That may be but why don’t you let me take you out to dinner and show you what you’re missing out on.”

“Um, no thanks. I’ll pass.”

As you stand, Michael suddenly blocks you with his body.

“Come on, baby.”

“I said no.”

While trying to walk away, the man grabs your forearm and turns you around, pulling you to his chest.

“I’m not a man you say no to, Y/N.”

“And I’m not a woman you grab. Now let me go.”

When he doesn’t release you, you raise your hand and hit him hard in the face causing him to let you go. You expected and braced to fall onto the concrete so when strong palms catch you, you’re surprised. 

After making sure you’re on both feet and ok, Eddie turns to shove the man hard backward. 

“Don’t ever put your hands on my wife.”

“Or what?”, the man challenges and your husband accepts as he steps forward before you grip his arm to stop him. 

Placing a protective arm around you, Eddie guides you towards the house to head towards the front door. 

“She could have had a good life, Munson! A big house, fancy jewelry, and anything she could want and more. She wouldn’t even have to ask. With my last name things would be handed to her willingly.” 

You saw his jaw tighten as Michael spoke but he continued to ignore him as he grabbed your coat and held it open for you to put your arms through.  

“What’s going on?”, your father asked as he came up from the side. 

“I’m a respected member of Hawkins whose parents helped mold this town. You were just a trailer trash, burn out whose own parents were scum.”

Right as his palm touched the door, he froze and you both listened as the other man stepped closer behind you. 

“Guys like you, Munson, are meant to be the ‘good time’ before women like her marry respectable men like me. Jesus… Your dad was a failure, you’re a failure, and if the accidental pregnancy is any indication so will Caleb. His whole fucking conception was a mistake.”

It was abrupt to everyone in the room except you when Eddie’s fist flew hitting Michael square in the jaw. You didn’t even try to stop him as he headed towards him to hit him more before your parents intervened. 

“That is enough! I will not have this behavior in front of my quests in my own house.”, your mother scolded as she pointed her boney finger at your husband.

“I put up with a lot of bullshit. For over twenty years, I’ve let you ridicule and insult me, put down me and my family, and listen to you whisper in my wife’s ear that she can do better. I have put myself through the ringer including getting on my hands and knees to beg you people to come to our wedding…”

Your eyes scanned him over as tears began to fall from your eyes and your mouth fell open. 

“…yet I’m still just fucking trailer trash that ruined her life? Fuck. You. Yeah, you heard me. We may have had a son and gotten married a bit faster than ‘normal people’ but I always loved your daughter. You think she doesn’t deserve a man like me but over 22 years I’ve learned that she never deserved you as parents. We may have our problems but thank GOD we are nothing like you.” 

“Get out NOW before I call the police! You are no longer welcome here.” Your father shouts as Eddie searches for you, thankful when your hand intertwines with his. “Y/N Y/L/N. If you leave with this man, you will not be welcome back into this house or this family. Any inheritance will be spread elsewhere.”

Chuckling under your breath, you turn to face them still holding the man you love. 

“Honestly, you can take my inheritance and shove it up your ass.” People around the room gasp at your comment as your parents take a step back. “I haven’t been a part of this family since I got pregnant and the only reason we’ve put up with you is because of Caleb.”

“Y/N—”

“No! Jesus, mom, think about it. Eddie may not come from money but at least he doesn’t call my son a mistake.”, you growl towards Michael. “He’s a good man but you can’t look past your own selfishness to see that. If you want to apologize to me and my husband you know where we are. Until then, fuck you.”

As you both turn to leave, you pause to face them one more time. 

“Oh, and it’s Y/N Munson, not Y/L/N.”

##############

1985

“I have a confession to make.”, Eddie breathily laughs as he holds the condom between his fingers. “I’ve never done this before…sex…like actual sex. I’ve done stuff but not like…fuck I’m coming off like an ass.”

You smile as you sit up with his blanket wrapped around your naked body and lean your cheek on his shoulder. 

“No, baby, you’re not. I’ve never…you’re going to be my first to.”

Swallowing, he tilts forward to kiss your forehead. 

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”, he whispers.

“As long as I’m with you, I won’t be. I trust you, Eddie.”

Reaching over him, you take the condom from his hand and tear it open like they showed students in health class before sliding it onto his hard, leaking cock. The metalhead hisses slightly at your touch, holding his breath as your palm rubs along his shaft through the rubber barrier. 

“How does that feel?”, you murmur as your eyes watch his face. 

“Feels…good.” When he finally opens his own eyes and sees your smile, he realizes you were asking about the condom. “Oh, I mean, yeah. That feels good to. It’s on there correctly. I’m just going to stop talking.”

Shaking your head, you take hold of his biceps and pull him on top of you, adjusting the blanket over you both. 

“Don’t you dare. I need to hear you.”

“O-Okay.”

Opening your legs wider for him, Eddie reaches between your bodies to take hold of himself and run the head of his length between your folds.

You jump slightly, licking your lips as he occasionally grazes your clit. 

“I’m—fuck—I’m gonna lean back on my knees. Is that ok? I feel like I’ll have more control so I don’t…I don’t hurt you as much.”

After getting your ok, he pushes up onto his knees and continues to run himself between your pussy lips while his free hand massages your thigh.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I’m going to push in now, ok? If you want me to stop just let me know.”

Before this moment, Eddie had asked Steve a ton of questions about what he should do and how best to not hurt you. Nothing, however, prepared him for the immense pleasure he felt when he gradually began guiding his cock inside of you.

“Oh—Oh my God.”

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, baby. Just—fuck—you feel so fucking good.”

“I do?”

When he aggressively nods his head, you both feel your pussy flutter around him making you both moan; him much louder than you. You were doing all right as he continued, the stretch of him burning but not enough to want to stop. It wasn’t until he had half his cock inside you that you sucked in a breath and his eyes shot up to see yours squeeze closed as your face scrunched in pain.

“Do you need me to stop?”

“N-No. No. Just hang on a minute.”

Nodding, he remembered something his friend told him and you listened as he licked his thumb and gently rubbed slow circles against your clit. 

“Oh f-fuck, Eddie.”

“Yeah, honey? Does that feel good? Fuck me. I’m gonna thrust a bit but I won’t go deeper till you tell me.”

You allowed him to do that till you felt the pain subside and pleasure begin to take over again. Reaching for his arms, you brought him down till he was hovering over you once more and you wrapped your legs around his waist. 

“More.”

“You want more?”, Eddie whispered against your lips before placing a tender kiss against them as he pushed deeper inside of you. “Fuck, Y/N. You are so tight around my dick. I’m almost all the way in.”

“Give it to me, baby, please.”

“Oh my god.”, he mewled as his lips attached to your neck and your arms wrapped around his shoulders. With a rough roll of his hips, you felt the head of his cock nudge something only his fingers had ever touched and your nails dug into his skin as he grunted into yours. 

“Jus—Just like that, Eddie.”

“Like that? Can I take over, baby? Is that ok?”

When you nod, his entire body falls flat against your own with his hand snaking behind your head to hold to him as your own hands slid to his lower back as if to guide his movements. His rhythm hastened and the grunts that were echoing in your ears were the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. 

He seemed to get almost lost in the experience as his hips were hitting you so hard his bed underneath you began to shake. That familiar feeling built up in your stomach but much intensely than you had ever felt before. 

“Eddie…I think I’m…about to cum.”

As your cunt clung tightly to him, you shuttered against him as the coil snapped. 

“Oh my God…Y/N…” His pace sputtered as he a bit aggressively slammed his hips against your own as a strangled moan fell from his lips and his full body weight collapsed on top of you. 

You both panted as you tried to catch your breathes, him gently kissing your cheek before carefully pushing up onto his palms. 

“Ow.”, you groaned as your hand abruptly flew to his back to stop him. “Go slow.”

Nodding, he kissed your forehead and allowed you to guide him as you pressed your palm to the lower half of his tummy while he gradually removed his now soft cock from your extremely sore entrance.

After removing and tying off the condom, he threw it in the trash and rose to his feet. 

“Do you think you can walk to the shower?”

“I…don’t think so…it really hurts.”

Eddie blinks as he almost haphazardly picks you up and quickly scurries to the bathroom. 

“Oh, Y/N. Fuck. I was too rough wasn’t I? Fuck!”

Following his eyeline, you see the light blood that was attached to your thigh and you can’t help but smile as you grab his wrist to bring him to you. 

“Eddie, baby, that’s normal. Or at least that’s what the sex ed teacher says after girls lose their virginity.”

Relief paints his face before he guides you into the shower and stands with you under the hot water. 

“Was I…to rough? I just…I tried to do everything so it didn’t hurt you but I think near the end there—”

“I love when you get all nervous and stutter.”, you giggle as you tilt up to kiss his lips. “You weren’t too rough. I have a feeling I’m going to feel you the next couple of days and…I don’t mind.” You smile when his breathing hiccups a bit at your admission. “Did you…was I…did you like being with me?”

Eddie chuckled a bit under his breath as if you had asked him the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. 

“Y/N, I loved being with you. I love you…so much, pretty girl.”

Circling your arms around him, you held him tightly as he does the same. 

“I love you to.”

#################

2006

Silently, you both entered your home and Eddie’s eyes followed you as you disappeared before reappearing with the first aid kit you kept in the bathroom. After taking off his jacket, he rolled up his sleeves and automatically held his hand out for you so you could clean the cuts on his knuckles. 

When he hissed loudly, you jumped as panic flooded your face before you realized he was playing with you and you lightly hit his chest with the back of your hand as he laughed through his teeth. 

“Dork.”

“I never stopped.”

“Being a dork? I know.”

“No, loving you.” When your gaze shifted to meet his, he continued. “You asked me that night on the trampoline if I still loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Swallowing your tears, you threw the cotton ball onto the table at your side and reached for the gauze to tape around his cuts. 

“Why didn’t you say that at the time? You just left.”

“I hated that I made you think for one minute that I didn’t. That I made you…question it.”

Biting your cheek, you wonder if you should tell him what’s on your mind but since he’s being so open, you wanted to return the favor.

“I’ve been wondering for a while. I just feel like we aren’t the same, you know? I’ve spent so much time going over our marriage wondering what happened. Wondering…what I did wrong.”

When your voice cracked, Eddie scooted closer to you and took his hand out of your grasp to lift your face.

“You did nothing wrong, Y/N. Do you hear me?”, he replied sternly as his thumb tried to catch any lingering tears that fell. “If anything, I did. There were times I saw myself becoming my father and—”

“Eddie Munson, what the fuck are you talking about? You are nothing like your dad.”

Shaking his head, he released you from his hold as his eyes searched through the void, trying to find the words to express what he was feeling properly. 

“Your parents and people in this town always said I was ruining your life especially after I got you pregnant. No, hey. Let me get this out.”, he scolded as your mouth opened to interrupt him. “Please. I told myself they were fucking stupid because no one knew and understood you like I did. I loved my life with you. The first time I heard my last name attached to your first, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The first time I held Caleb in my arms, all my fears of being dad just melted away.

It wasn’t until I tried to find us a house but all we could afford and get approved for was this mobile piece of shit.”, he sighs as he gestures around you two. “That was the first time I felt like I failed you but I pushed it down, you know? Then our 5-year anniversary rolled around and I still hadn’t gotten you a proper ring. 10 years and we still couldn’t get a house. When Caleb was nine and you wanted the three of us to go on vacation but that storm blew in and damaged the car so we couldn’t afford it. With every fight and every sad look on your face, I blamed myself but I pushed it away until…”

“Until what?”, you encouraged. 

“There was that night I came home and accused you of cheating. I said those things… and then I pushed you… listened to you cover for me with Caleb. I just saw my own childhood and everything my mom went through before she died… I didn’t know how to…”

“Eddie why didn’t you say anything? We could have talked about it. You…”, you sigh as you close your eyes and try to think. “We both said some things that night and…you’re nothing like him, honey. You’ve always been such an amazing father and husband. God…I felt you pulling away and I didn’t know how to get you back. Eddie, if for one moment I thought you were like him I never would have married you.”

“I just didn’t want to hurt you again. I didn’t realize by doing that and keeping my distance so to speak I was anyway. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

You wrap your arms around him, hugging him close to your chest. 

“I’m sorry to.”, you whimper into his shoulder before pulling back to run your fingers through his hair. “I don’t care about the…house and the ring by the way. As long as I’m with you none of that matters.”

His chocolate eyes search your features before Eddie slightly nods and rises to his feet. You listen to him scrounge around your shared bedroom before he suddenly reappears and places himself beside you again. 

“I was going to give this to you on our actual anniversary but I think now is the right time.”, he smiles and hands you a tiny box with purple bow on top. 

Smirking his way, you remove the wrapping and time seems to stop as you open the box to see a beautiful ring inside. The red diamond stone was nestled into its nook making it look like a rose with vines circling around the silver band and skulls on either side. Your husband’s gaze continually scanned over your face trying to gage if you liked it or not. 

“I, um, it took me a while to save for this but when Caleb got that scholarship for his college I felt more comfortable putting more and more money away for this. I-I-I wanted to make sure it had the skulls since you like my ring so much and then I got the—the red stone because you were always such a welcome contrast to my dark, nerdy lifestyle growing up.”, he chuckles as he watches you slide it slowly onto your finger. “Do you like it? If-If not, I can return it and maybe we can go together—”

Your lips cut him off as they crash to his own. 

“It’s perfect, Eddie. I love it. I love you.”

#############

2005

“Oh, mom, don’t cry. I’m not going away forever.”, Caleb teases as he tries to calm you while you cling to him with your arms circled around his waist. 

“I can’t help it. I’m just so proud of you.”

Your husband laughs behind you as he steps forward and delicately pries you away from your son. 

“Come on, Y/N. Kid has a plane to catch.”

Nodding, you release him fully before tilting up to kiss his cheek. 

“Now remember if you need anything—”

“I know, mom! I know. Just call.”, he giggles making you smile. 

After taking a step back, Eddie takes a step forward and pulls his son into his embrace. It always amazed you how similar they both looked especially as Caleb got older. Even though your son kept his hair short, the brown waves had a mind of their own making styling a nightmare when he was smaller. As a teenager, he just decided to leave it be and let it run wild on his head. He seemed to have your laugh and nose but his smile and eyes were all Eddie. 

“Let us know when you land and tell us how your first day goes. I’m still curious what one does in analytical ethics.”, your husband laughs as Caleb smiles. “I love you, son. I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you to, dad.”

Saying goodbye one last time, you lean into Eddie’s side as you both watch your only child head towards security.

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t know.”, you answer honestly. “You?”

“I don’t know either. I know I’m going to miss him but I think we did a good job raising him into an adult.”

Turning fully into his chest, he held you tightly to him and gently pet your head as he listened to you cry. 

***

Your back hits the hallway wall hard as both your lips refuse to detach from the other. There was a needy, feverish energy between you and Eddie that had spent years building and was now exploding in a flurry of heated touches. 

Your hand slid down his chest to the prominent bulge in his slacks and you both groaned as he rolled his hips against your palm. 

“Fuck, Eddie, please. Let me…let me taste you. It’s been so long.”

His lips don’t leave yours but you hear the clanking of his belt as he unbuckles it and pushes down his pants. Leaving tender little kisses on his skin along your path down to your knees, your husband exhales heavily when your fingers wrap around him and your tongue licks the little droplets of precum that lingered on the tip. 

“Shit, sweetheart. I’ve missed your mouth.”

Pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail, you feel his eyes on you as he mewls and watches you take him all the way to the back of your throat. You bob your head up and down, relishing the sounds of him falling apart as he gradually thrusts his hips against your movements. 

Your eyes lock as you glance up, knowing what you’re about to do will drive him crazy. Clinging to his thighs, you descend lower onto his cock, and freeze allowing your throat to constrict around him as you slightly gag. 

“FUCK, baby! That’s…That’s it.” When you pull back, you stroke your spit with your hand along his shaft before doing it again and feeling giddy when you see his eyes squeeze shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Come…come here, pretty girl.”

Pulling you up by your bicep, you still continue to stroke him while he licks two of his fingers and reaches down to rub your clit as his forehead falls on yours. 

“Jesus, you’re so fucking wet. Listen to how—mmph—how fucking wet she is.”, he whispers as he guides two of his fingers into your entrance. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this, Y/N. Your—fuck—your little pussy just tightened around my fingers. Do you like hearing me talk to you while my fingers are inside you?”

“Y-Yes. Fuck, yes Eddie. I missed it so much.”

Pressing his body against yours, his arm locked at the elbow as his rhythm hastened. 

“Cum for me, princess. I want you to drench my hand so I can smell you. I love the way you smell, taste, and feel. I—oh my God—I love that you’re mine.”

Your arms circle around his shoulders as you cling to him tightly. 

“S-Say it again.”

His sexy chuckle has your eyes rolling as he tilts down to kiss the shell of your ear. 

“You’re mine, Y/N. You’ve always been mine. You’re my everything, sweetheart.”

Your body trembles as the coil snaps and you grind your hips against his digits to elongate your high. 

“More.”

Eddie didn’t waste a second as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom causing you to giggle when he light-heartedly tossed you onto the bed. After pulling off your dress and removing the rest of his own attire, he kissed up your back as you laid on your tummy waiting for him. 

“I’m not too heavy right?”, he asks as he lays some of his weight against you. 

Pressing your back up against his chest, you twist your head to reach his lips. 

“No, baby. You feel good.” Smiling, he reaches between your bodies and guides his cock into your cunt. “F-Fuck, Eddie.”

“I know, sweetie, I know.”, he murmurs as his hand intertwines with yours by your head. “Still so fucking tight.”, he babbles as he does little thrusts to help you get reaccustomed to his size. 

You never needed much time; you loved the stretch and the slight delicious burn that followed before pleasure fully took over. 

“Please, baby. I need you.”

“You need me, Y/N?”

“Always.”

Trying to keep as much of his weight on his elbows, Eddie began pumping his hips and you both moaned at the feeling of each other again. Throughout the last few years of your marriage, there had been quickies with no real thought behind it, just the need for a release. The last year and a half you two hadn’t done anything at all and it killed you. 

Feeling him this close to you as he moaned and whispered in your ear was everything to you and more. 

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.”, Eddie cooed as he brushed some of your hair away from your face. “What’s wrong, honey? Why are you crying?”

“I just…I missed you so much. I know…you’ve been here but…you haven’t really been…here.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. That’s never going to happen again because you know how… I was always waiting for a girl like you…” Your husband grins widely at the sound of your laugh as he lightly continues to sing. “…to come into my life. I love you, Y/N.”

After kissing the back of his hand, Eddie starts thrusting into you again, leaving little pecks below your ear as you moan his name encouragingly. Laying his full weight against your back, he rolls his hips pushing his length so deep inside you, your eyes practically roll out of your skull. 

“Fuck, Ed-Eddie. Just like that. So—so deep.”

Tattooed arms wrap around you and your husband brings you with him as he falls onto his side, his palm digging into your thigh as he lifts your leg in the air. 

“Cum for me, pretty girl. Cum on my dick.” Licking your fingers, you bring them down to rub your clit in fast circles, matching his pace as he pounds into you. “Atta girl. You got it, sweetheart.”

When he felt your body begin to shake, he dropped your leg, hugging you flat against his chest and stomach as he slammed his cock roughly into that sensitive spot inside till you both felt the coil snap once more.

“Ah my God. Good girl. Good girl, baby. I’m gonna cum to.”

“Mmph—please, baby. Cum inside me. Please, Eddie.”

A strangled string of grunts left his lips as he rutted against you till his limbs squeezed you tightly and you felt him warm your insides. 

###################

1984

“Oof, Jesus fucking shit!”, Eddie shouted as something hard bumped into his back. 

“Edward Munson!”, the librarian whisper screeched his way as he held up his palm to silently apologize. 

When he turned around to see what asshole hit him, his intense eyes landed on your worried ones. 

“I am so sorry. I was trying to get that book up there but I tripped. I’m so sorry.”

Time seemed to freeze as the metalhead visually took you in. He had seen you around before talking with other members of the student body. You were in a school ran club like Student Council so you seemed to easily flow through each clique even going to the ones your ‘friends’ never seemed to want to talk to. 

He remembered Gareth talking about you in passing saying that you were incredibly sweet for a ‘preppy, rich girl’. Looking at you now, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to you than what was on the surface. 

“Um, again. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

“Huh? Oh, no, excuse me. I’m being an asshole. I’m fine. No, physical damage.”

“But there’s emotional damage?”, you tease eliciting a soft smile from him. 

“Of course. It’s not every day a beautiful girl pushes me. I’m going to be expecting that all the time and my hearts going to get broken when it doesn’t.”

“Hm, well, there are plenty of beautiful girls at this school so I promise it will happen again.”

“None of them are as beautiful as you.”

You blinked, taken aback by his confidence as you blushed and smirked his way. Eddie would later tell you he had no idea where that confidence came from but it was always the truth. 

The older boy smiled as he reached above you effortlessly to grab the book you had been trying to get before holding it out for you to take. 

“I’m Eddie. Eddie Munson.”

After taking the book, you reach into your bag and grab a pen before taking a hold of his arm. When your fingers touched his skin, an electricity ignited through him that he had never felt before and he had to control the urge to hug you to his chest.

“That’s my phone number, Eddie Munson. You should call me some time. I’ll be home after school today… around 4.”

“O-Okay. I’ll, um, I mean I should be free around that time.”

Eddie flushed with embarrassment as he tried to come off as nonchalant as you giggle lightheartedly at him stuttering over his words. He learned in that moment he adored the sound of your laugh. 

“I can’t wait. I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

***

You stirred at the sound of your phone ringing, reaching over to grab the cordless from the receiver. 

“Hello?”

“Shit. Hey, mom. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, baby. It’s alright. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to check in since I know last night was grandma and grandpa’s charity thing. Everything go alright or were they rude as usual?”

“Rude as usual.”, you sigh as you roll onto your back and grin at Eddie’s completely knocked out frame. “Your father punched somebody.”

“Oh, go dad.”, he laughed. “I’m sure that person deserved it knowing him. I’m really sorry. Grandma and Grandpa are old fashioned, you know? Maybe one day they’ll catch up with the times.”

“Yeah but if not that’s ok. I have you both.”

“Yeah…I love you, mom. I loved my childhood and I’m proud to be your son; you and dad. Fuck, Hawkins.”

“Caleb…you’re going to make me cry.”, you start to hiccup before he giggles again. “Did you want to talk to Eddie?”

“Naw, let him sleep and I’ll talk to him later. I’d text him but he hasn’t quite figured that part of technology out yet.”

“Oh yeah no. When it comes to technology, he turns into Wayne. ‘Why are the buttons so small? Why do I have to push it four times to get to one letter!’”, you mimic as you and your son laugh. 

“You two are rude.”, Eddie responds groggily as he rubs his eyes with his hands. 

“Uh oh, Caleb. We got caught.”, you tease. “Alright, baby. Have fun and we’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

“Love ya, kid.”, your husband mumbles as you try to tilt the phone closer to him. 

“Love you guys to.”

After hanging up the phone, you roll onto your side and curl up into his chest as his fingers start to play with your hair. 

“What did the butthead want?”

“He was calling to check in about the charity thing last night. I told him you fought for my honor.”

“Hm, yeah I did.”, he smiles. “And so did you. ‘It’s Y/N Munson.’”, Eddie mimes in a high-pitched voice with his grin growing as you laugh. 

As he settles, your eyes trace over his tattoos on his chest and the man softly sighs when your fingers trace over yours and your son’s name.

“I love you, Edward Munson. I know we’ve had our bumps but I don’t resent my life with you. Every day with you and Caleb has been an adventure. I’m excited to see where we go from here.”

His eyes that had previously been closed fluttered open when you finished speaking and he carefully rolled onto his side to face you. 

“I love you to, Y/N Y/L/N. I meant what I said last night. I promise to be more open with my feelings and talk to you. I don’t want us to go back to how things have been. We have the rest of our lives to be together and we’re going to make the most of it.”

You smile as you press your body to his chest and nuzzle your nose into his neck. 

“From the moment I wake up 'til deep in the night. There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly.”

Eddie chuckles in his throat as you sing, tilting your head back so he can kiss your lips again before whispering, “I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I've been waiting for a girl like you, you're a love that will survive.”

####################

@myherometalhead @dashingdeb16 @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart

[kcwriter-blog]

I've been thinking about how we the players know so little about Solas compared to what the writers and developers know about him and how that affects the way he is written.

I mean we know he is an ancient elf. We know he was powerful enough and skilled enough to create the Veil. We know he and Mythal were friends. He doesn't seem to have liked Andruil and Falon'Din much. Skyhold belonged to him. He removed vallislin. He tried to free slaves. He had kind of an underground railroad thing going. He seems to have had a lot of money secreted away. He painted even back in Arlathan. A lot of statues seem to have been made of him. People in the Vir Dirthara knew he created the Veil but were surprised that he would do something like that. He seems to have always had an affinity for the Fade and spirits. He enjoyed whatever version of the Game nobles in Arlathan played. He was cocky and hot blooded, always spoiling for a fight. He is capable of love and friendship.

I think that's all and it really isn't much. Everything else anyone says about him is pure speculation. It makes meta fun but its easy to get too caught up in our own ideas.

We speculate about him based on things we learn from his personal quests and what we see in Trespasser but we don't know anything for sure. Was he a slave? Was he a spirit called out of the Fade by Mythal and given a body? Did he manifest a body like Cole? Was he just a normal elf born in a small village to the north? Was he a noble and privileged or did he work his way up? Did he join the fight against the Titans? Was he a genius who theorized that the waking world and Fade could be separated? Did he use untried magic because his back was against the wall and he couldn't think of any other way to save the world? Was he a friend of the Evanuris so they trusted him enough to fall into his trap? Was he one of them?

So many questions. The writers have tried to portray him sympathetically. They want us to empathize with him. And I have to ask myself why? He is one of the antagonists. Wouldn't it be easier to portray him as not having any redeeming qualities? And yet, he is basically described as the hero who lived long enough to become the villain.

I know his detractors believe he is a genocidal, racist maniac but that doesn’t track with everything we learn about him as high approval or romanced Inquisitors. It certainly isn’t born out by his statement that he is doing his best to minimize the damage.

He truly believes what he is doing is best for the world and is willing to break it and remake it. What does he know? But more importantly, what do the writers know? Fen' Harel has existed since Origins. Devs have always planned for him to make an appearance. That means the valleslin has always been a mark of slavery even if the Dalish didn't know. The Creators have always been horrible, slave owners even if the Dalish don't remember. Which means Solas has always been the rebel fighting for what he believes is right.

Why do the writers see him not so much as the villain (although Epler uses that word constantly - he is usually the only one though) as they do a somewhat noble person who keeps making mistakes? Why is he portrayed as just a sad man who can't see past his regret and guilt. What was he like? What changed him? What did he know about the Veil before he put it up?

I get that a lot of people don't like the idea of being tied to him in Veilguard but maybe the writers did that so we have no choice but to get to know him - the good and the bad. Maybe we finally get to know Solas the way the writers and developers know him. I'm looking forward to that.

[reyreadersblog]

i'm actually pissed off.

I am sure everyone in grishaverse fandom has seen this negative review of six of crows. If you don't know who i am talking about..

This, i'm talking about this specific review.

(Go watch it if you haven't but know that it the dumbest review ever)

(I couldn't take a better screenshot, *cough* she didn't deserve it *cough*)

At first when she started critisizing the book, i though "woah.." because it's one of my favourite books, but since everyone has different opinions, i decided to watch the video, in order to understand what she disliked about this book.

I don't know why, but i expected logical a explanation from her, mabye because she is a grown ass woman...

and what came out of this woman's mouth actually shocked me💀

First of all "it's a fucking heist for god's sake" and mabye she has sight problems? Because it litearlly says "six dangerous outcasts. One impossible heist" on the freaking cover so wtf did she expect?

"Do i look like that's something i would enjoy?" (Keep in mind she read the full summary) let me answer your question with a question, are you dumb? It's a ya book about group of teenagers with a heartbreaking past who go on this dangerous heist, if it is something you know you will not enjoy, then why tf did you read it in the first place?

Oh and uhm..this is her bio

She also said "half of the book was written in different laguage" saying that at your grown age is insane...

A. I understand that it is a little difficult to get into it, especially if you haven't read shadow and bone, and i haven't read it so it was a bit hard to understand certian magic elements in the book, but nothing that a human's brain can't comperhend...

B. Saying those kind of things about a YA book is crazy. I've seen her videos before and she is definitley one of those "i can't read a book if there is no smut" kind of reader, (litearlly her bio) so when you are reading a ya book and you decide to critisize it just because there was no smut in it is EMBARASSING, the book is about literal teens with trauma and you expect them to have sex??? DISGUSTING.

C. Soc has one the best romance subplot(s), oh wait let me spell it: S-U-B-P-L-O-T.

Definition:

And again, if you know you're a an adult romance girlie (with a lot of smut) , why are you reading a ya fantasy book with a HINT of romance in it and then start shitting about it??

Atp it's not even a "negative review" it's an insufferable blabbering.

Six of crows is an amazing duology and mabye next time she shouldn't read a book she know she won't like!?!

Like...go read Credence or any book by Penelope Douglas tbh

And leave ya books alone from this fucking smut for god's sake.

[becauseheartsgetbroken-hs]

bestie i'm new to the world of fics and it would be great if you could recommend me some good iconic stories to read 🥰pleasee ❤️

OHHH WELCOME BABY! 💞💞

Hope you'll find the great comfort they offer to all of us too!

I'm thrilled to do this so I'm gonna start immedietaly! Don't know what's your taste is so I'm gonna recommend many different stories I have loved! 😊

A Toast To The Future by @narryffdreaming is one of my favorite stories ever and I truly believe it's one of the most beautifully written stories I've ever read. 🙏 The way Dani approaches the past experiences of the characters and their emotions is impressive. I am always fascinated by stories that are authentic and the way that story is written makes you feel seen even if your experiences are not exactly the same as the characters. 💞 (can't wait to read the next part)

Maisy and Harry are just friends (except they aren't) by @narryffdreaming again because I just love her work! Friends to lovers trope (i loooove this trope sm) and it has everything: angst, fluff, romance, softness, smut, everything! Everything just flows so nicely!

When Y/N dates someone, they find their soulmate…it’s never her by @jawllines is super cute and lovely and made me giggle and blushing! It's such an unique concept and I just loved it!

Harry and Y/N are in the same ballet class, and they hate each other by @jawllines again and what can I say? Pure enemies to lovers story that has you in a chokehold. Everything about it is perfect! 😍

Daddy Issues by the amazing @fkinavocado is jaw dropping, I mean it! It's one of the first long stories I read in here so it's special to me. 🙏 Dreea delivered the great combination of spicy and softness with this story.

Sex Tutor by @gurugirl ! I really liked the way she wrote about this topic and it felt like she did it with so much respect (as she always does) and I just really had a great time reading it.

404 by my pookie @freedomfireflies 💗is one of my favorite stories ever and I feel like I have to tattoo this to my skin at this point. 😂 It's enemies to lovers and you can feel the tension from a mile. Also 404rry is the most annoyingly adorable characher ever and I just adore him. 🤗💗

Teach Me by miss @freedomfireflies again and let's just say that this series is on FIRE. A friends to lovers story that makes you feel things. One thing I love about this story is that the two characters share a deep love and respect for each other and I feel like it's such an important point.

Grumpy H and

You're my Last Shot by @cupid-styles are so cute and I had a great reading them! The flow is amazing in both of them and they are so well written.

Old Grudges ,

Just How Fast the Night Changes ,

The Sun Will Rise and

Valerie by @watchmegetobsessed are litterally amazing! Loved these stories so much! I come back to them from now and then and I have the same feeling every time I read them. 🥰

Harry’s a dick, and Y/N hates him for it. by @harrys-titties is so HSHJSHSSJ I just loved it! So beautifully written and it has everything: tension, angst, smut, romance!

Hawthorn by @adorebeaa is so beautiful! I enjoyed it so much! It is not finished yet but it is worth it! Again it's an enemies to lovers story and it really plays like a movie in your head! 💕

I got carried away a little bit hehe and I'm sure that if I continue I won't be able to stop lol. I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did! 💕

P.S Τhere are many other great authors that I didn't include in this post because I might just forgot them at the moment (sometimes when you need to remember something specific you just can't, your mind is just stuck ugh) or because I might not have come across their work yet so I don't want anyone to feel bad. Your work is always appreciated. 💗

Byeee xoxo

[writingmeraki]

ribs — a rafe cameron series.

❝ In which, you did not think there was a way for you to ever come to love the beach, sea and the annoying sand that never seemed to leave you, but then again you did not think you'd ever meet let alone possibly associate yourself with someone like Rafe Cameron.

( or you hated the beach and all that came with it, but turns out this initially disappointing summer could be changed by the presence of one intriguing person. And the fact that his eyes were probably bluer than the ocean itself. Perhaps you could learn to mildly like it. )

pairing : richboy!rafe cameron x tourist/newbie!gn!reader, brief one-sided enemies to acquaintances to friends to lovers. genre : fluff, humour, angst, romance, friendship, coming of age, realisations and epiphanies, contemplations and questioning, summer seasonnn!! also ft. rest of the obx characters and ocs too! warnings : cussing, alcohol, drug-use but only for a brief while, mentions of fear of the ocean, slowburn-ish, non-canon ( does not follow the main plot at all but a bit of the relationship dramas- yeah. ), and more to be added as we progress! also ik the synopsis is...messy but pls i promise i will b making this as fun and equally an emotional roller coaster as possible!! series inspo : ribs by lorde. | series playlist : here

not sure if i should make a taglist but ig if you want to be tagged let me know ?

CHAPTER INDEX.

i. and the ocean is still the same. disgustingly blue and terrifyingly deep.

ii. and the way you act is very familiar. fake and just for others.

iii. to be announced !

( chapter names likely to be changed....)

a/n : so i pretty much gave into my brainrot again and welp this somehow sprouted from it. a rafe series. but imma be honest i've been feral for him since like the past two years....i am surprised now is when i write for him hahaha but yes here this is! i created a masterlist for this because im gonna make this split b/w some parts...hopefully finishing it up....but this time i have changed a lot of things and im gonna soo...chapter one will be presented to you in a few hours! enjoy this with me and i hope you like this ^^

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024

feedback is always appreciated 💌 ! links : main navi ! | misc masterlist | main masterlist | info !

[copperbadge]

I was making breakfast and listening to an episode of Just King Things this morning, which is a podcast I do recommend -- two very smart English teachers are reading the books of Stephen King in publication order and discussing them. This could go extremely awry except they're both highly conscious of his failings as well as his skill, so they do really well handling a lot of his less salutatory content.

They've hit the point in King's ouvre (this episode was about Hearts In Atlantis) that follows his recovery from the car accident that very nearly killed him, where he was struck by a van while out walking. One of them pointed out that it seems as though he came back from nearly dying determined to write the wildest shit imaginable and only write what he wanted, which struck a chord in me this time despite having listened to this episode before. Perhaps because I was thinking about my own writing and where it's going in the short term (there are a couple of short stories I want to do that I don't quite have a way into yet). I generally don't think about the drift of my creativity in the long term because when I do I usually draw the wrong conclusions.

I don't really classify my life, the way some people who've had high-impact injuries do, as before-TBI and after-TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury -- the fairly severe concussion I had in January of 2020). For one thing, given I had to cancel a trip to NYC because of it, it may have saved my life; I almost certainly would have caught COVID as someone with known lung issues in New York at the time. For another, the TBI was way scarier to almost everyone else; for me it was just one more dumb injury I gave myself and I didn't even remember most of it so it hardly registered. I used to open the story of it with a joke about waking up not remembering going to bed the night before, but nobody ever found it funny.

It's true that there are changes it wrought in my life, though. Even practical stuff like making sure my living space doesn't have tripping hazards and continuing to wear a fitbit even though I don't really need to (the fitbit told us, the morning after, exactly when the concussion happened, because it registered a heart-rate spike when I fell). For weeks after, I had to move slowly and put off making important decisions because I couldn't trust my physical or intellectual judgement; I didn't even jaywalk in my own neighborhood because I couldn't be sure I was judging the cars' speeds properly. For about a year after I had periodic post-concussion syndrome which basically just slammed me back into concussion space, which wasn't painful or upsetting but was definitely inconvenient.

And it's also undeniable that my writing shifted after the injury. It's not necessarily because of the injury, since my initial recovery from the TBI and the declaration of quarantine happened at roughly the same time, and anyone who tells you that a years-long global pandemic didn't impact their artistic expression is selling you a line. But the last thing I wrote before the TBI was the first draft of Six Harvests, and aside from the Six Harvests publication draft, which had fairly minimal changes, almost all that I've written has been blue-sky, light-hearted, PG-rated romance. It's been on my mind that I've been writing different subject matter from what I used to, but the timing of it didn't strike me until just recently.

I don't mind, really. I love fandom and I support fanfic in whatever expression it comes, but I'm also happy writing my own stories. While I'm aware it's been years since I've meaningfully written fanfic, it doesn't bother me per se, as long as I'm writing. It bothered me much more when I could write fanfic but not original fic, especially in those last few awful months at my last job. I'm proud of the literary and non-genre fiction I've written in the past, but it's also much more trying and frustrating to write at times, so I'm enjoying having a different sort of challenge that feels more fulfilling in the process. I'm sure at some point I'll go back to literary fiction -- there are ways in which it's hard to avoid turning the later Shivadh novels into literary fiction, being honest -- but for now I like what I'm writing, and I'm writing primarily to please myself and without regard to what's necessarily rational or linear.

Just struck me, is all, that it's by far the most noticeable major shift in my work. I do sort of wonder what will be next.

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 45!

what a week... i'm greatly enjoying all of the post-8x06 buddie fic (many more recs to come!) and took some time to revisit old favourites, which can be found in previous rec lists. enjoy!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

all that we need | not1_2write | 26.4k | M

When Buck buys a Powerball lottery ticket he doesn't think much beyond his need for change to air up his tire. He forgets all about the ticket until word spreads that the winning ticket was sold in LA and hasn't been claimed yet and pretty much dismisses it. After all, there's no way he won the lottery. Turns out no, he really did win the Powerball, to the tune of 295 million dollars and just in time for Christmas. He's going to make sure the 118 has the best Christmas of their lives. And just maybe he'll have a good one too. idk about all of you but i do dream about winning the lottery regularly (way too often for someone who's never bought a ticket, that's for sure). this is such a lovely look at what buck would do with a whole lot of money <3

i take this magnetic force of a man | playinginthunderstorms/@playinginthunderstorms | 9k | M

Turns out, he isn’t actually afraid of commitment. He’s just afraid of committing to the wrong thing, or the wrong person. Ana, obviously, had been a mistake, because he hadn’t been ready, and he’d put other people’s expectations above his own wants and needs. With Marisol, he’s done the same thing. Moved too fast, doing what he thinks is the right thing according to who? His parents? For Chris’s benefit? Again, pushing past his own comfort, discarding any doubt because it doesn’t fit like… Like Buck. blanket rec for one of my favourite authors who has been posting incredible fics lately!! this one in particular is so beautifully written and so romantic and just so very buddie <3

if i need to rearrange my particules i will for you | thelikesofus/@thelikesofus | 7.9k | GA

Eddie catches a cold and Buck takes care of him while having a minor, non-platonic emotional crisis. this is definitely influenced by the fact that i've been ill myself but wow truly nothing hits as hard as buddie taking care of each other when one of them isn't feeling well. the bed sharing in this is so good <3

let me | facewithoutheart/@facewithoutheart | 1.6k | T

Eddie doesn't think he needs romance. Buck, respectfully, disagrees. AKA the fic where Buck picks Eddie up and kisses him breathless against a wall. and buck is so right for doing that!! i love it when buck turns eddie to jello <3 so lovely!

second child, restless child | lesbianrobin/@lesbianrobin | 23k and counting| M

how Evan and Maddie make it out of Pennsylvania, and Buck and Maddie build a family. okay so listen these past few weeks i've been doing this thing where i only rec finished fics, and every time i scroll through my ao3 history for these rec lists, i come across this one and go oh i wish i could rec this already. and then i realised wait it's my rec list i can do whatever i want, and so then i did. anyway, mind the tags for this one, but wow are you in for a treat here! i love the character dynamics (chim is brilliant in this!! and maddie!!) and i'm so so excited to see the rest of this fic unfold <3

said that i was fine, said it from my coffin | justhockey/tumblr | 7.3k | T

And it doesn’t matter that he feels like he’s dying. Like the version of himself that he’s always been is suddenly a stranger to him - just a mask he’d spent his entire life hiding behind, without ever even realising he was wearing it. It doesn’t matter that Eddie is…that he’s gay. Because he knows - as surely as he knows that the sun will rise again tomorrow - that the only person he has ever, and will ever, truly love is Buck. And Buck isn’t his to love. another blanket rec for an author who's been posting incredible fics!! this one in particular has such brilliant eddie characterisation and i just devoured it the second i got that little ao3 email hehe

there's no place like home-spun | icewhisper | 4.1k | GA

Buck has spent most of his life trying to find something to settle fidgeting hands and the restless need for a home. He found the key to the latter when he was thirteen. He finds the former in a cozy home on South Bedford Street with two of his favorite people. (AKA the Buck-crochets fic that literally no one asked for.). this fic makes me want to learn how to crochet. i am the least crafty person ever and i have like minus time but just know that if two weeks from now i'm posting about yarn and crochet hooks and whatnot, it's all thanks to this fic. i love buck who crochets so very much <3

you get your dreams for free | llovely/@butchdiaz| 14.9k | T

five times buck and eddie cuddle drunk and one time they cuddle sober. buddie bed sharing my absolute favourite. i read this late at night curled up under three blankets and it hit just right <3

[penkura]

last forever [1/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on

Notes: Hello, this is a fanfic I've been working on for a few months now. I'm still not done, but I figured I would go ahead and start posting it here as a cross post with Quotev and AO3. Sometimes I find this, Zoro and the story, hard to write, but I'm trying. This will NOT be a one-to-one rehashing of the arcs but will have more focus on Zoro and Reader's relationship as it progresses. The first two chapters are written in past tense, everything afterward is present tense, sorry about that. I've been having more fun writing present tense instead of past tense. I have the first three chapters completed, I'm still working on chapter four, but hope to have it done for Monday, and I intend to update mostly on Mondays for this one. Zoro and Reader call each other husband and wife at times, it's in italics on purpose. Hope you enjoy this one.

[Ch. 2]

Never did you think or imagine your wedding day would be like this. In a courthouse in a backwoods town with no real witnesses, to someone you'd only known for about a year and a half now. This wasn't even out of love for him, he'd only agreed to prevent you from being legally forced into marriage with a man several years older than you who had two other wives already.

No, you and Roronoa Zoro weren't in love, but he was trying to help you out so you didn't end up in a bad situation or with bodyguards chasing you down to force you back to your home village. When you had told him the story, he was honestly disgusted hearing how your family was treating you like an object to be sold, instead of as your own person. The whole reason you'd run away from home was to avoid this, but a letter brought to you by your family's personal carrier bird a few weeks ago changed that. As soon as you turned eighteen, if you weren't married or engaged to someone else, you'd be forced into marrying the creep that agreed to this when you were just fifteen. While you broke down in tears out of fear, Zoro told you he'd marry you to keep you from being taken back home. You told him he didn't have to, but he brought up that after your family heard, if they dropped the arranged marriage, you could get an annulment and it would be like this marriage never happened. You'd be free from your family and the creep, still able to travel and live your own life.

You were so grateful you couldn't stop crying and thanked him numerous times, never once telling him you hoped you'd never have to get an annulment with him. Your feelings for him were still new, he was a year older than you, but he'd protected you well in the time you knew each other. Of course, you could hold your own as a swordswoman yourself, but Zoro always tried to leave the recon to you while he took out your bounty targets.

So, a week after you turned eighteen, once you reached a small town with a courthouse, you both immediately went there to get this sham of a marriage completed. The clerk looked you both over several times, asking your ages and you lied, claiming you were both twenty-one when she said you'd need parental approval if you were younger than twenty. She didn't ask for proof, instead mumbling something to herself about how it seemed people were getting married younger and younger every year. No more questions about witnesses, parental approval, or identification to prove your ages, the older woman just filled out the paperwork and had you two sign it for processing.

While it was being processed, she sent you to the other side of the room to sit and wait.

"Thank you."

Zoro just shrugged, wishing the old bat would hurry it up so you could find a hotel and get a room so he could go to sleep. "You don't have to keep thanking me."

Nodding, you bit your lip. It was weird to think you'd legally be husband and wife, despite not being in love with each other, but part of you hoped that maybe over time Zoro would come to love you, and you him, so you'd be a few steps ahead of the curve.

The clerk called you both back over a few minutes later, stamping the papers in her hands and pulling a few more. "You're legally married now, congratulations. I've given you an extra copy since you requested it, and here's an annulment form if you've decided you made a mistake. You have six months to fill out and submit it, at any courthouse, otherwise you'll have to get a divorce."

You nodded and thanked the old woman, who told you two to be careful as you both left. You weren't entirely sure why, but if Zoro knew, he kept his mouth shut about it. Once you left, Zoro started looking for a place to stay while you found somewhere you could have dinner. Neither of you planned to stay in this town for more than a night, so you weren't worried about cashing in any bounties that day.

After finding a place to eat, you stayed nearby while you wrote a brief letter to your family and sent it to them, with your marriage certificate, by your family carrier bird. You really just hoped and prayed that they would accept this information and not still demand you return home, whether they wanted to meet Zoro because they believed your letter, or they wanted you to annul the marriage immediately to marry the creep that agreed to it first. Either way, you had no plans to follow their demands or return home.

You and Zoro didn't meet up until it was about dinner time, not a word about your marriage being spoken but your plans to leave the next morning and head to the next town were the main subject. You split off again after dinner, Zoro giving you the second key to your hotel room while he took a walk, in case you wanted to go and shower or go on to bed. You did so, taking a long shower to keep yourself distracted before choosing one of the two beds as yours for the night, laying face down with your face in the pillow. By the time Zoro did return, you were nearly asleep until he woke you when he opened the door.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine…I wasn't sleeping yet."

You weren't sure if it was just you, but things felt awkward with Zoro now. It probably was just you, because he went to bed like nothing was different, telling you that he wanted to leave as soon as possible in the morning. Shells Town was the next destination for the two of you, since a Marine base was there you figured new bounty posters would be available.

You spent the night half awake, unsure of what you were feeling anymore, but you knew one thing.

It was definitely not the kind of wedding day you ever expected to have.

+!+

What do I do, what do I do??

Pacing around the Marine fortress, you didn't know if you should even try to break in and free Zoro or just wait for the month he agreed on with Helmeppo to be up. All of this because he protected a little girl from the brat's dogs and punched him in the face, the spoiled boy using it as an excuse to bring Zoro in like a criminal, and you just weren't sure what you should do. He'd told you not to interfere and when Helmeppo tried to include you in it, you were surprised Zoro threatened him further and said you had no part in the matter.

Stopping, you sighed and crouched, holding your head in your hands and whining. "What do I do…?"

"Hey, you okay??"

The voice above you sounded kind, and you looked up to see a boy with a straw hat and a scarf under his left eye, with another young boy who had pink hair and glasses. Both looked concerned, wondering why you looked like you were fighting a headache outside of the Marine fortress.

"I'm fine…"

"You sure?" The boy in the hat grinned at you, wanting to really make sure you were fine, getting eye level with you while the other boy looked nervously around. "You don't look fine!"

"Luffy!"

You laughed, sighing a bit and standing up, the boy called Luffy following suit. "Yeah, I'm…I'm sure. My friend just…the Marines got him, I'm not sure what to do."

Luffy and the other boy, Koby you learned, both questioned you until you revealed it was Zoro that was your friend, causing Luffy to get excited as he climbed the wall to look into the yard, while Koby was even more nervous than before. He couldn't even believe that you were friends with the notorious pirate hunter Zoro, let alone traveling with him.

"Hey so that's him??"

Koby climbed up with Luffy and nearly fainted, almost falling off the wall when he saw Zoro. You were so focused on the two boys you didn't notice the little girl, Rika, climbing in and over the wall with rice balls in hand. You could hear her offering them to Zoro despite him telling her to scram, before Helmeppo showed up and had her thrown back over the wall, Luffy catching her and surprising you.

"Hey, I'll take her back to her mom's place!"

Luffy nodded and gave Rika to you, letting you run off with her. You got Rika back to her mother's restaurant, making sure she was alright when Luffy and Koby arrived. Luffy told Rika that Zoro actually ate the rice balls Helmeppo ruined, which didn't really surprise you. He had a soft spot for kids, you'd noticed over time, and always tried to help them if he could.

When Helmeppo came back around and started bragging that he was going to have Zoro executed in a few days, Luffy did the same thing and punched him in the face. The three of you ran off, Luffy jumping over the wall to tell Zoro that if he helped him out, he had to join his pirate crew, but Zoro didn't get a chance to fully agree or deny before Luffy ran off to the fortress to find his swords. Koby and you attempted to untie Zoro, but he was arguing against this due to the deal he made with Helmeppo.

"Come on, I only have to last a couple weeks more!"

"He's not gonna let you go! He's gonna have you executed tomorrow!"

"What?!"

Zoro looked at you, wondering if you had heard that or if Koby was lying to him, even though the younger boy had no reason to lie to him.

"I heard every word, that's exactly what he said."

The Marines, including Axe-Hand Morgan, came after the three of you and attempted to fire at you and Koby, but you knew how to use your sword well enough to block them from hitting Koby or you with their bullets.

Luffy returned finally, blocking another set of bullets about to hit the three of you, showing off his rubber powers which actually kind of freaked you out. Zoro, finally having his three swords back, was able to get free and stop the Marines from attacking all of you any further, calling Luffy Captain after agreeing to join his pirate crew. Another shock for you, one that you'd have to deal with later on.

Luffy was the one to beat Morgan, the other Marines all cheering once they realized they were free from the tyrant's reign.

The whole thing made you smile, glad things had worked out, even as Zoro nearly passed out from hunger, making you laugh and shake your head.

"You're so lame sometimes, husband."

+!+

"So why'd you call him husband earlier??"

Face turning red, you looked at Zoro who sat next to you in Luffy's small boat that just barely comfortably held the three of you. Your husband was fast asleep, arms behind his head, but you waved your hand in front of his face to make doubly sure he was asleep, before hearing a light snore come from him.

Scooting across the boat, you sat right next to Luffy who gave you a confused smile.

"Look, Luffy…you can't tell anyone else you recruit."

"Huh?"

You were trying to keep your voice down so Zoro didn't wake, but Luffy acted like he couldn't even hear you.

"Zoro and I are married."

"You're WH–"

You threw your hands over his mouth, looking over to Zoro barely moving, but still fast asleep. You'd quieted Luffy just in time so he didn't wake your swordsman.

"We're married, but it's only because he's helping me with something. We're not in love, we're not a couple. It's…a marriage of convenience okay?"

Luffy nodded, like he understood everything you just told him. He didn't really, but he at least understood you and Zoro weren't in love, just married.

Weird, but he thought he got it.

"Please, don't tell anyone. I'm waiting to hear from my family before we annul the marriage."

That part confused him, but Luffy decided to agree and promised he wouldn't tell anyone, he didn't question you further. He thought you and Zoro were close, he wouldn't have been that surprised if you said you two were in love and together, but if you said you weren't, that this was just a friend helping another friend, he'd believe you.

That, and as soon as his stomach started growling he forgot anything else he wanted to ask.

"Do you have any food, Luffy?"

"Nope!" Luffy grinned and your face paled, looking at Zoro who just snored again and you had a feeling of dread.

"Oh lord what have we done?"

[it-happened-one-fic]

Even If The World Itself Should Fall Down - Malleus (Glorious Masquerade)

Author Notes: So, I've been having a lot of fun reading Glorious Masquerade and I saw an opening and received encouragement from friends to just go ahead and write some fics for this event. So this one is Malleus's and it was written to the “As the World Falls Down” cover by Grace Potter. The dance in this fic was inspired by Andrei and Natasha’s waltz scene from Episode 3 of BBC’s “War and Peace” (2016). As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ sfw/ Glorious Masquerade/ romance/ some pining/ fluff/ dancing

Word Count: 1338

It was the part of the trip everyone had been waiting for, but I found myself still lost in my own thoughts about everything that had occurred since coming to Fleur City. 

A plot regarding the supposed evils of magic, the flames, the flowers, the ringing of the bell, and everything else.

 It was almost too much to process, even considering the fact I’d seen overblots. Perhaps the most distracting thing was the fact that I was so relieved. No one had died, lost their magic, or ended up horribly injured, and the matter had been resolved. 

I leaned against the wall, sighing slightly as people swirled past me in the midst of the masquerade. Either classmates and friends or the people who attended this school or one of the other magic academies themselves. 

It was a swirling eddy of rich fabrics and masked faces.

I had never truly pictured myself in such an opulent scene, and it felt only right, in a great many respects, that I remained on the sidelines. Grim had long since slunk off in search of food and left me alone to watch everyone else.

But I didn’t remain alone for long, as a tall figure soon came cutting their way through the crowd.

Malleus approached with unhesitating steps, my view of him occasionally blocked by a couple twirling by even as he walked towards me. A slight smile was on his face as he drew closer until he emerged from the dancers to stand in front of me.

His hand that had been holding his mask this whole time lowered so that I could clearly see his face as he bent slightly at the waist and held out his other gloved hand with a smile that curved easily across his face, “May I?” 

I blinked at him, half-surprised, before a smile slid onto my face. Because, of course, he wouldn’t leave me stranded all on my own. He knew loneliness well and had no doubt felt sympathy for me the very moment he’d seen me standing on my own.

“I don’t really know the steps,” I warned teasingly, even as I slipped my hand into his. His gloved fingers curled carefully over my hand as he pulled me away from the wall and towards him.

“Then I shall guide you; you need only trust me, Child of Man,” And as he spoke there was a certain villainy to his smile. Almost like he was proud that I’d accepted his offer, as if I’d rejected others. 

It was amusingly similar to a dragon that had found itself a new treasure to hoard all to itself, and I shook my head amusedly but let him lead me out onto the floor. Carefully guiding me around and between other dancing duos who slowly began to look our way with either surprised or intrigued expressions. 

Despite the way I glanced around, Malleus’s eyes stayed on me until we reached the center of the floor, directly under the chandler.

I turned to face him, my hand still in his as I looked at his face. And he had, at long last, looked away from me to carefully enter our dancer’s hold. 

One of his hands on my waist as the other arm was bent around so that it was pressed firmly against his own back, while I had one hand resting lightly on his shoulder and the other held out to hold my clothes out of the way of our footsteps.

Bright green eyes slowly shifted to look at me, and I was close enough to even see his eyelashes fluttering slightly as he met my gaze. The slightest of smiles on his face before he stepped forward, and I stepped back to the very first strings of this new song.  

It was an older style of dance; I could tell that much from the fact he had one arm pressed to his back, which wasn’t part of any modern style, and a part of me wondered if it was a form from the Valley of Thorns. 

From what Sebek had told me, the people there were partial to what many might refer to as more vintage aspects of life.

But I wasn’t complaining; there was something especially lovely about this type of waltz. And I found myself smiling as Malleus pivoted us around the room.

We spiraled around, remaining in the center of the room as the other dancers moved back and away from us. Eyeing us and no doubt questioning why exactly I, of all people, was dancing with the famed and typically feared Malleus Draconia.

After all, I was no one special, and he was the heir to the throne of the Valley of Thorns. An odd couple, to say the least.

As we entered a particularly long set of rotations, Malleus extended the arm he’d had behind his back. Humming slightly as I almost instinctively shifted my hand from his shoulder to his now-free hand.

His fingers curled over and enveloped my hand, as he also shifted to the side so that we were joined only by our arms, which crossed over each other’s chests, as we faced each other and we continued to spin. Almost parallel to one another.

I exhaled softly, relaxing the longer the two of us danced, and I realized that I really could trust him to lead me through this entire dance even though I didn’t know the steps.

As the music slowed and quieted, he drew me closer so that he was once more directly in front of me, though his hand still gripped mine with a quiet gentleness.

I swallowed slightly, briefly glancing away from him and the soft smile on his face, before I managed to speak. 

“I never have really thanked you for diving after me when the floor collapsed,” My voice was soft, and his lips twitched slightly. Almost like he was amused by my words.

“But of course,” He spoke softly as well. Matching my tone in a way that made our words feel like a secret between only the two of us.

Our motions continued to slow until we were simply turning a slow circle and looking at each other even as everyone else kept spiraling, and I shook my head slightly, “No, thank you… Really.”

Something in his gaze softened slightly as he continued to stare at me, and I tilted my head, smiling, “It’s nice that this masquerade could still take place with everything that happened…. The firelotuses and our trip almost getting ruined, I mean.”

I felt his grip on my hand tighten slightly as he inclined his head slightly, almost like he wanted to well and truly keep his next words so that they were just between the two of us. A tender secret not to be shared with anyone else. Be they a close friend or a bodyguard.

“It matters not what collapses. Be it the floor beneath us or even if the world itself should fall down, I will be there for you, Child of man.” I blinked up at him, feeling my eyes widen at his soft words.

At odds with my speechlessness, he smiled. Looking perfectly delighted as he slowly began to speed our motions back up, until we were whirling around the room once more. Center stage as his smile stayed ever-present. It wasn’t long until, even with his words still floating around in my mind, we both started to laugh.

At first, just a chuckle and then soft laughter as we waltzed around, drawing everyone’s gazes as they questioned what sort of secret we shared that so amused us. But it wasn’t truly laughter at something amusing. Rather, it was relieved laughter at the realization that even if everything else in the world fell away, we had one another.

Falling together just as we’d fallen together through the burning flowers, and falling towards each other as each step of our dance pulled us closer towards that beautiful dream known as love.

[twig-tea]

Twig's GL Recs for March-July 2024

[Here’s my rec list for GLs through to Feb 2024 ]

Fake Buddies Korean, YouTube, 7 episodes (one ep BL, one ep GL, one ep crossover, and then 2 more BL prequel eps and two more GL prequel episodes), approx 45 minutes when compiled, Apr 27-Jun 28 2024

At first this was a little three-part series in which it turns out both members of the couple are secretly in a homosexual relationship with their best friends and using the other as a beard. Lots of comedy of errors and puns (“I like lilies better than roses”) as the characters try to make each other understand the situation they’re in. The backstory prequels were really cute friends to lovers, and it was really nice to see these couples land in solidarity! This series is short and cute and pure fluff.  

To the X Who Hated Me: YunO x Jane Korean, YouTube, 3 episodes ~6 mins each, aired May 22-29 [microseries complete, X who hated me series may be ongoing]

When the previous 2-ep miniseries under this umbrella landed (which I wrote about here: ), I had no idea it was going to be a series of microseries! These are all short but good second chance romances. This one has a “reality”-show-within-a-show format, with a frustrating misunderstanding, and a good kiss. Be sure to always watch past the credits for this series! 

You Are My Star, Thai, YouTube, 1ep 37 mins (aired as 3 12-min eps and then they compiled into this one short film), May 18 [complete]

This was a cute Thai GL that I enjoyed mostly because of the very clear cribbing of specific scenes from recent BLs. It was mostly trope-y (both cuteness and drama), with good kissing. See if you can spot the BL references.

Xiao Xiang Yi Jiu, Chinese, YouTube, 7 episodes 2 mins each, May 20-June 3 [complete]

This little microseries is about a girl becoming an intern for her crush/idol. Happy ending, and they do become explicitly girlfriends! No kiss because censorship.

Lonely Girls Korean, YouTube, 4 episodes 8 minutes each (32 mins compiled) May 14 [complete]

This is about a couple that struggles with the closet, lack of communication, and how to make their relationship last in the face of uncertainty. Also there’s good kisses. SukFilm have done other series before and since, but this is my fave GL of theirs so far. 

The Two of Us Deep Night spinoff, Thai, YouTube, 6 episodes, 15 mins each, airing May 30-July 4 [complete]

I was so confused at first, because I didn’t realize this was supposed to be their story during the events of Deep Night that we didn’t get to see. I was excited about this one but bummed that we started the miniseries with a health scare and then a threat by Meiji to marry some guy just to make Freya jealous? I found it a little frustrating that two women in their 40s could not be honest with each other. The couple is so cute, but the storytelling is not, so take this rec with a grain of salt. Still, it’s so nice to see women in their 40s being super cute and in love in between the drama so I’m keeping it on this list! I am very glad to have gotten the dance sequence and the bath sequence. 

******

And of course currently airing right now so take with a grain of salt because i don’t yet know how they end, but 

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Japanese, 8 episodes, 25 mins, airing July 4- August 22 [ongoing]

This is a laugh-out-loud funny office comedy in which Akaya flirts desperately with her senior colleague at work, Hiorko, who then spends her evenings complaining to her friends at the lesbian bar about oblivious straights who don’t understand the meaning of what they say. I've written a little more about this show here. It is my favourite GL of the year so far and if it stays this good is on its way to being one of my favourites of all time!

The Secret of Us Thai, 8 episodes, 50 mins each, airing June 24-August 15 [ongoing]

This series starts with the cutest episode of all time and then devolves quickly into serious drama lol but it did a good job avoiding pure “noble idiocy” so I’m hopeful it will continue to hold up. As of ep3 things are happening that I did not expect, so I’m really curious how this one will go. In the meantime, it is also worth noting that these actresses are excellent kissers.

[UPDATE: Of these two that were airing, I ended up thinking I was going to have to retract for The Secret of Us but instead retracted for Ayaka Is In Love With Hiroko. I had way more fun with Ayaka week to week but the ending was really disappointing; The Secret of Us in contrast nailed the ending. I wrote about it a bit here. ]

[thatswhatsushesaid]

this person has me blocked, which is something i used to genuinely lament because occasionally i'd see bits of their very thoughtful commentary floating across my dash, and i'd find myself sighing sadly over what other gems of wisdom i was missing out on by not having access to their blog. i'd even lament about it via dms to some of my pals who did still have access to this person's blog. what interesting discussions must have been happening beyond that "???" "this is no one" "uh, who??" opaque door that tumblr always presented to me whenever i clicked on this person's username? would i ever know?

a friend this morning: want to see a bad take to get mad at

me: obviously yes

anyway as it turns out, it looks like i'm missing out on exactly nothing, actually, so that's a huge relief

more seriously, recalling the insightful commentary that i have seen this person reblog in the past when it has come across my dash, i am frankly in awe of this one, because it is so profoundly disconnected from reality and how people experience stories. like i'm not even sure where to start with peeling back all of the wrongness layers at work here because i haven't taken my adhd meds yet this morning, but the primordial stupidity at this take's core (coming from someone who is clearly smart, ftr, i am targeting the stupidity of the concept, not the person) has made me genuinely angry. it's not even just about applying this framework to mdzs, though of course it is principally about that because this book DOES actually place class front and centre at multiple points in the narrative. it's the idea that we just shouldn't be having conversations about classism, or sexism, or [x]-ism, in the romance genre, because don't we realize the point is the romance, actually?? these other things clearly don't matter and aren't worth talking about??? and this mindset is so utterly foreign to me because at no point have i ever felt compelled to stop myself from thinking thoughts about a book because "oh, but this is genre fiction, i need to turn my brain off to read and enjoy this, i forgot." or "this thought is not appropriate because genre fiction, i'd better stop thinking it before i ruin the story."

like. i am deeply, deeply sorry for this person, actually, that they are not picking up on precisely what mxtx is putting down in the text, especially considering mxtx has explicitly explored themes of class in at least two of her novels (i'll get back to you on including svsss once i've read it). but also, a critique of class in the jianghu, or how mxtx has written her female characters, is entirely as valid use of fandom time and energy as writing one more definitely original and not remotely repetitive thinkpiece on the power of wangx!an's morally good love to overcome all obstacles (not saying OP wrote any of these, just that there ARE a bunch of them out there).

like. why do you want to simplify the experience of reading and thinking and talking about these books? why do you want to push for more boring analysis of stories? why are you using your platform to encourage this? i'm so mad about it actually. people listen to you, and this is what you're encouraging them to do: think less.

[anistarrose]

I want to talk about the way aromantic experiences can be represented in very meaningful and validating ways without characters being written as intentionally aro, and also I want to talk about aro-spec Magnus Burnsides headcanons. Luckily, I can do both those things in one post!

During the events of the podcast, Magnus is disinterested in and often straight-up uncomfortable with romance, because of the fate that befell his last relationship, with Julia. I've seen a reading (that I don't think is objectively wrong, though I do not personally share it) that interprets this trait of his as some kind of "sacrifice" he's making on Julia's behalf, being a choice to stay out of other relationships to carry on her memory better. It's a reading that seems pretty reasonable at first glance, but not especially aromantic.

(Because if anything, it almost seems at risk of turning into something like "there is no sacrifice more tragic than not having a romantic partner," right? Or worse, "this is a trauma response that needs to be healed for Magnus to have a happy ending, because being able to enjoy romance is vital to his happiness and self-fulfillment." Both of which are... varying levels of uncomfortable, to me as an aro person. Like, I'm not in the business of telling people how to interpret fictional characters, but I personally can't engage with these without a bad feeling in my stomach.)

However! Back to the various potential readings of Magnus's character! It's worth noting that so much of Magnus's arc revolves around unpacking his trauma, from the destruction of Raven's Roost and Julia's death — and that healing process doesn't change how he feels about romance! The Eleventh Hour is the turning point when he starts to seriously re-evaluate what the trauma and loss made him want, versus what Julia would want for him, and what would let him live in the moment instead of in the past... yet in the Heart Attack segment of Wonderland? Magnus still expresses disinterest in dating.

In Arms Outstretched, then Story and Song, he further internalizes and chooses to let himself be saved and ask for help, instead of punishing himself with martyrdom — and no romantic relationships come up in the epilogue! When he passes away after a long, happy life, it's Carey, — his best friend! — who holds his hand while they wait for the end!

Magnus's reasons for not wanting another relationship are obviously complex — not just a conclusion about himself that he came to lightly, regardless of whether he's on the aromantic spectrum, not on it at all, or deliberately not choosing a label. What makes his arc so unique and special to me, in contrast with almost every other story about traumatized characters finding a happy ending, is that his happy ending isn't contingent on romance! Whenever he says that he's that not into dating, no one doubts him or tries to undermine him (other than Lydia, who's literally trying to feed on his suffering) — and to me, an aro listener...

Well, the way the narrative takes Magnus's wants and lack thereof seriously is just so refreshing.

Ninety percent of characters in fiction who repeatedly stress that they don't want romance or marriage are only shown doing so to set up for the narrative later proving them wrong. It's to contrast with that later point in the story where they "find the right person," or "understand when they're older." Or "stop being so cold," or "stop acting like they're too fucked-up and 'damaged'." Or "overcome their trauma."

It has an air of "wow, isn't this character so ridiculous, for thinking they won't change their mind later?" Or occasionally, "isn't it so tragic, that they can't envision themselves being loved?"

For protagonist-y characters, for heroic characters like Magnus — for any type of character in which "happily ever after" is considered a plausible, fair-game, genre-acceptable outcome — we see the genre conventions also dictate that "settling down in a romance" and the "happy ending" are intertwined. I've seen TAZ posts from back in the era of The Suffering Game/The Stolen Century airing, expressing sentiments like "Magnus not finding someone to love again would be so tragic and mean-spirited, I hate grim and edgy endings like that." While I can appreciate people trying to subvert tropes like "you can only have one 'true love' in all your life," the incredibly non-subversive and ultra-amatonormative belief that "romance is a prerequisite for a happy ending, or even healing arc" is such a deeply unfortunate one to tag on.

I am aromantic. I don't want a romantic relationship. And I find joy in that! I refuse to accept that I need to be "fixed" or "healed" to live a long, happy life, because I'm not broken! What brings me the most joy beyond just living as an aro is seeing stories actually acknowledge that people can find this happiness without romance — like how Magnus's story does! Like how casually and matter-of-factly it subverts expectations — how Magnus says he doesn't want another relationship, and no one comes along to prove him wrong! He doesn't "find the right person" because at this particular phase of his life, and of how he wants to live, there isn't one in a romantic context!

He heals from his trauma enough to find all kinds of joy — doing things he loves, surrounded by people he loves — and not because of, or in service of pursuing, a romantic relationship!

I almost never see fantasy stories where one of the heroes gets to have an arc like that. An arc where they get to live out an ending that I would want. A happy ending that would be happy for me! For people like me!

Magnus Burnsides gives me so much Aromantic Hope. That this is a kind of happy ending that I am not the only one to idealize, and that I could attain, no matter what horrors are being thrown at me in the present. Magnus dies peacefully, after years of assuming that he wouldn't, and he does so surrounded by his dearest friends and family. Who are all so proud of the life that he lived. Magnus was true to himself, to what he felt would bring him healing and fulfillment — instead of what cliché and expectation dictated to him — and he was completely at peace in the end. Ready to rush in one final time.

I immensely doubt that Travis intended for Magnus's story to be an aromantic story in those words, if at all. But Magnus's story resonates so, so much with so many common aromantic experiences. And that means so much to me. I'm so grateful for that. In this day and age, in this world, I needed that.

I needed to have a good long cry about Magnus Burnsides. Aromantic icon, intentional or not.

...

...Of course, because this is tumblr, I want to make a clarification. This isn't some kind of claim like "shipping Magnus with people other than Julia is problematic." It is, however, a thesis statement that "no such ship becoming canon makes Magnus's arc so much more unique." It's an explanation giving full context to how I'm biased, not objective, but willing to argue that it makes his arc so much more meaningful, too.

And most of all, it's a desire to shine a light on a side of Magnus's character and growth that I think goes underdiscussed. Especially underdiscussed through an aro-spec lens. And speaking of which:

Sure, I said I don't think Magnus was intended as an aro-spec character, or that he can only be interpreted as such — but if you made it this far, you know I think this ruff boi's just chock full of aro-spec subtext! So just for fun — and because the world is always deserving of more aro-spec headcanons — let's end this post playing with some different readings of him as aro-spec!

Gray-Aro or Demiromantic Magnus who rarely falls for people to begin with. Why would it be some tragic heroic sacrifice to remain "chaste" and wait for Julia, when not being into romance is just Magnus's default state of being? He's so confused about why people think he's making some tragic sacrifice! So confused, guys! I even wrote a fic about the gray-aro HC a few months ago (link)!

Gray-Aro or Demi Magnus who thought he was just aromantic, no attraction whatsoever, for over a century — until he met Julia, and fell for her (perhaps very, very slowly). But that doesn't change those years gaining perspective as a platonically, familialy loving aro who values those bonds immensely, and always wanted them to remain a prominent part of his life.

Losing Julia devastates him, of course it does — but especially once he remembers the Stolen Century, he knows he has a long-term support system no matter what, and it won't revolve around chasing that unlikely possibility of feeling romantic love again. Why would it? Why would he need to chase something so fickle just to heal?

Aromantic Magnus who feels no romantic attraction, but in the era of Raven's Roost, doesn't not want a romantic relationship. Except, he doesn't after all. Except wait, he kinda does, it's just complicated. Maybe something queerplatonic? Well, he really likes the idea of a wedding, and that's not necessarily mutually exclusive with a QPR, but there's no guarantee his partner would feel that way too, and...

There's just these expectations that go with dating or marriage, of partners expecting him to love them in such a specific way that he knows he can't... and then he meets Julia, who's a romance-seeking aromantic too, with heavily overlapping feelings. Bonding over their similarities leads to dating, and eventually marrying, over a deep platonic love that may or may not still involve cuddles or kisses, or a desire to start a family. They don't panic too much over the labels — they're just so delighted to be with someone on the same wavelength!

When Julia dies, so much goes through Magnus's head. After a while, he can't help but start thinking again about how rare it is for people to want the same things out of a relationship that he does. Or to consider the way he feels for them to be enough. But as time passes, Magnus comes to terms with it more and more. He's happy to wait for Julia again. After all, he's longing, but not lonely. Mourning, but not incomplete.

Aromantic Magnus who is aromantic specifically because of his trauma, but no less aromantic for it. He just can't bear the thought of getting into a relationship again. Ironically, there's a point in time where he thought of himself as a romantic — back while he and Julia were courting each other — that now feels simultaneously so close and so distant. Magnus who has so much to grieve, and grieves this romantic side of him too — at first. Who thinks that there's only two options, for a folk hero in a story like his — settling down to live happily ever after, or dying in battle. And if there's nothing more upsetting, more uncomfortable, than getting married again — then living happily ever after has got to be off the table, right?

Magnus who slowly realizes that doesn't have to be the case. That no, barring seeing Julia again, he certainly doesn't have reason to believe that even time will change this new, alienating part of him — but maybe, it's not so alien after all. Maybe he knows people who won't even question it. Maybe he doesn't have to change it or overcome it to be happy again.

Why is romance some singular thing he has to chase, in order to settle down peacefully again? Why can't he do it with his friends? With his dogs?

And last, Questioning Magnus who might be aro, who might not be aro, and is maybe most likely to be something in between. But it's hard to tell; he's honestly not sure if he'll ever crack it, and.. ultimately, he's okay with that. Because all that matters to him is knowing he doesn't need a relationship to be complete, to take full advantage of his well-earned happy ending — and he's got a great grasp on that one, surrounded by people who never make him doubt it.

Aromantic Magnus Burnsides. Aro-Spec Magnus Burnsides. My aromantically beloved. Thanks, bud, for all the hope when I needed it.

[lostinthewiind]

Way With Words

Varric Tethras - Dragon Age

Genre: Fluff

Rating: All ages

➤ True to his nature as a renowned author, Varric has always been better at expressing himself through the art of written words.

The sound of Varric's quill scratching against parchment sent a chill up your spine—one that scratched a particular itch you didn't even know you had. Perched in his usual spot at the wooden table in front of the fireplace, you sat across from him, watching intently as he frantically worked to get everything down before he forgot even a single, minute detail.

"You don't have to release the book tomorrow, you know," you told him. "Take a couple of days to enjoy the fact that we saved Thedas. Surely that's deserving of a night or two off."

You could tell that Varric had only slightly registered what you had said, his quill faltering for a brief moment before continuing to whip from left to right across the page. Again and again. Flip the page. Left to right. Again and again. New page.

The fireplace crackling behind you lit up his face, basking his features in a warm, orange glow. In this light, you could see clearly as the wrinkles of his forehead deepened; and if you watched his facial expressions closely enough, you could tell which ones were permanent from age and which ones were temporary from stress.

When a pocket of gas escaped one of the burning logs with a loud pop, Varric's eyes shifted up from his work. In that moment, as his eyes darted toward the fire behind you before focusing on your face, you clocked the exhaustion he was trying so desperately to hide—or ignore. His gaze caught yours just long enough for you to notice the dull hue of his usual bright, brown irises.

He flashed a superficial smile before returning to his work. Word after word, he recounted the tale of the Inquisition from the moment he met you to the moment Corypheus was finally defeated.

"Varric." You reached across the table and caught his hand in yours. You felt as the tight muscles in his grip loosened. "Take a break."

Varric's hand twitched in your hold. "I can't. I don't want to forget anything important."

"That makes one of us." You exhaled slowly. "There's so much I wish I could forget. So much I have forgotten."

"Someone has to tell the story. Might as well be me." He smiled again, but this time it seemed more genuine. "Besides, no one else will give it the right amount of flair."

"I would expect nothing less from the legendary author of Swords and Shields." You chuckled. "I'm sure Cassandra is chomping at the bit to read about all the behind the scenes romances of the Inquisition you no doubt have all the insider information on."

That caused Varric to laugh, and finally, the rest of his body relaxed. Quill dropping onto the page, the sentence Varric had been in the middle of writing was left temporarily forgotten; the retelling of a past story was put aside for the making of a new one.

"I really don't know why she likes that garbage, but hey, I suppose there's an audience for everything."

"You're too hard on yourself. It's not that bad."

Varric quirked a brow at you. "Don't tell me you've read them?"

"I've read a few chapters."

Varric hummed, amused. "And?"

"I can see the appeal."

A bark of a laugh. "I never took you as a romantic, Inquisitor."

"I'm full of surprises."

"So I've come to learn."

Suddenly eager to get a sneak peak at you favourite author's newest work, you reached out and grabbed one of the first pages Varric had written. The ink was already dry, the scribbled words a duller shade of black than the newer pages.

Varric didn't protest. Instead, he watched intently as your eyes scanned the page. "Let me know if I missed anything."

"There's details in here that I don't even recall happening," you assured him. "But it's kind of bland. For a romance author, this isn't very flowery. Where's that so-called 'flair'?"

"Such a critic." Varric tried to snatch the paper away, but your sharp reflexes won. "This is just the first draft. Only the facts. The flair comes later."

"Thank goodness, because if this is how you end up describing me in the final copy, I'll hunt you down." You cleared your throat before reciting the words in front of you. "'Inquisitor. Small woman. Prisoner turned ally. Glowing hand.'"

Varric shook his head. "Like I said. The facts."

"Nothing about my bright eyes? My charming smile? Not even a throwaway line about how incredibly beautiful I am?" you joked as you relinquished the page so Varric could put it back in order with the others.

"This isn't that kind of book, Inquisitor."

You leaned back and felt the warmth of the fire on the nape of your neck. "Of course." You smirked. "But if it were, how would you describe me?"

Varric pretended he didn't hear you and instead went back to his writing. His pace was noticeably slower now though, more thoughtful. Something else was on his mind and he was having to think more about what he was jotting down instead of just letting it flow.

"I was a newborn in this world—a world I had lived in all my life, yet somehow I didn't recognize any of it. I stepped out of the fade, my memory lost and a glowing hand gained." You closed your eyes and described the series of events from your point of view. "I had just closed my first fade rift. I was overcome with fear and excitement, a slurry of emotions that had no business mixing. When the possibility of being able to close the breach was mentioned, he spoke. 'Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever.' A man. A dwarf. Handsome, and I could tell he knew it from the way he showed off his abundance of chest hair for any and all to see. But my eyes were drawn first to his crossbow, the weapon he had used to save my life moments earlier; the weapon he would use to save my life more times than I could count."

When you opened your eyes, Varric was staring at you, eyes wide. Speechless.

"It doesn't have to be a romance for it to be romantic," you told him. "Life and death is just as beautiful as any love story."

Still silent, he swallowed hard. Then, grabbing a fresh piece of parchment, he began to write; this time with all the fervor he had possessed originally. Arm resting at the top of the paper, he shielded the words from your eyes.

Head resting in your hand, you sat and watched as he wrote. When he reached the bottom of the page, he stopped and handed it over. "Like any author, I'm better in the written format," he said.

You nodded and began to read.

"No," he corrected. "Out loud. Read it out loud."

"Okay," you chuckled. "'All hope had been lost and then she appeared, stepping out of the fade with determination etched into her features and bright eyes that held the future in them—the world's future ... my future. From prisoner to ally to friend, the more I learned about her, the fonder I grew.'"

You paused and looked up at Varric. He nodded his encouragement. "Keep going."

Your throat suddenly felt dry and your chest tight. "'She was beautiful. She still is beautiful. But she's also so much more than that.'" You were reading slower now, your breath catching on the words. As Varric reached out to take one of your hands in his, your grip on the paper with your other hand tightened. "'Anyone who knows the Inquisitor could tell you that she is smart, brave, kind, compassionate, and so many more wonderful qualities. But not everyone could tell you about the way her smile always reaches her eyes, no matter how exhausted she is, or the way she sleeps so lightly that the faintest gust of wind could wake her. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who gets to see the way she curls her hair around her finger when she's feeling playful. Then I pray I'm the only person who gets to see it, because the thought of anyone else making her feel that way causes a sickening feeling to snake its way through my veins. She is-'"

"She is the most incredible person I've ever met in my entire life," Varric took over, having memorized the words after somehow only writing them once. You suspected, however, that they had been within him for a long time. As his hand held yours firmly and the pad of his thumb ghosted over the inside of your wrist, you shivered. "And as things come to an end and time runs out, I think of the past and dread the future because for all of the brave things I've done by her side, I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough to tell her I love her."

You felt a tear fall down your cheek and moved to quickly wipe it away. "If you're that good with words, maybe I should read more of your books."

Varric smiled as he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss to your knuckles. "For you, I'd write down my every waking thought."

"You don't have to." You folded up that paper in your hand and tucked it into your pocket. "This is more than enough."

Varric let out a nervous chuckle. "You're killing me here, love. I gotta know if you feel the same way. Please, put an old man's aching heart to rest."

Standing up, you leaned across the wooden table and cupped his stubbled jaw in your hand and felt his entire being soften to your touch. "Of course, I love you too." You gently pressed your lips against his. With a relieved exhale, he melted into the kiss.

When you moved to pull away, his hand shot up to the back of your head and held you in place, lips ghosting over his, so he could savour the moment. "Just so you know, I'm not putting any of this in my book," he whispered. "I'd like to be the only person to know that you smelt like smoke and tasted like elfroot tea the first time we kissed."

"Cassandra will be so disappointed."

"Me? Disappointing the Seeker? That's never happened before." He grinned as his hand slid down from the back of your head to caress your cheek. "Now come here. I'm suddenly craving the taste of elfroot."

[hearts4werka]

Missing

Summary: it’s been six months since your sister went missing, everyone gave up on the investigation but you’re determined to find her no matter what but someone comes along the way… Genre: ANGST first person pov, Stalker, missing person, thriller, horror, crime investigation, dark aesthetic, stalker romance, double pov, b&e, unexpected visitor, dark themes, Warnings: breaking in, abuse, use of weapons, being held hostage, ?depression?, mental health issues, swearing, pet names (little monster), skin bruising, fighting, ?suggestive content?, traumatizing, possibly trigging subjects, ass content ahead and ofc Read At Your Own Risk!

This is part 4 of the 'Missing' series!

🤍 - Rosalla's POV

I wish she was here with me.

Memories of me and her flood my mind like a tsunami hitting a building, all of the moments I'll cherish for all of my life, with or without her. I've cried over her multiple time since her disappearance and I have to get my shit together and figure out how to report that stalker of mine to the police again, I still cannot believe that my stalker have gone to the point to break into my house and do unspeakle acts between my legs.

My mind keeps on denying the fact that I possibly enjoyed the acts he has done, I havent been able to feel safe in my own house for these past months ever since. Today though the feeling seems to be intensified as I constantly feel a pair of eyes following my every move like everyday but they feel like they're coming closer to me.

I gaze around my surroundings, my mind trying to make me think im not actually going insane and that there is something lurking in the shadows of my own house, before I could get completely dragged into the dark shadows of my mind it has created my cat Willow comes up purring, petting herself on my leg and silently demaning some sustenance in the form of cat food.

A soft chuckle rumbles in my throat at her clear attention seeking attitude, finding it slightly adorable as I rise from my seat and my feet slide over the tile floor under them as I travel into the kitchen. I squat down and take the cat's food bowl into my hand but a simple ring of the front door doorbell catches me off guard as I am not expecting anyone currently nor any packages.

Confusion contours my facial features as my eyes move towards the front door where the noise is coming from, maybe a possible unexpected guest decided to visit my household today? but who could it be? questions begin to rise in my already spiraling mind which only overweighs the other thoughts stuck inside of my head.

I stand up onto my feet and make my way towards the door with upkept caution to not let the person on the other side of the door know that I am trying to figure out who it could be, making as less noise as it is humanly possible in the moment ive been placed in right now, checking through the peephole I dont find what ive expected to be on the other side.

Twisting the house key in the keyhole of the door and grabbing ahold of the doorhandle I swing it open and scan my eyes around the surrounding nature on the front porch and find once again nothing and am only met with my black doormat with "Welcome!" written across it in white bold letters.

My anxiety rises onto a higher level than it was already on before with the growing questions slowly starting to cloud my mind alongside the shadows, I walk back to my living room and notice Willow ran off somewhere and isnt near me anymore, not thinking much about it when I finally find myself back in the living room i notice a strangely familiar man sitting on my couch with his body facing me and Willow snuggled into his lap as he pets her spine with his heavily tattoed arm.

My body instantly responds to the sudden intruder inside of my house by freezing inplace and refusing to move from my standing form, laborthed sharp breaths leave my mouth as I silently observe the surely unexpected guest inside of my house acting way to calm for my liking, not seeming like the hostile type and more on the kinder side which doesn’t make me feel better about this whole situation.

"Look who decided to join us, welcome Rosalla" He speaks in a calm, almost soothing tone while his gaze visibly runs up and down my frozen body as I notice a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth under the hood that’s currently concealing the upper half of his face.

As much as I would love to just rip that hood off his face and take Willow away from him I can’t move my body no matter how hard I try, it’s like my body turned into a stone statue in a museum in the section of Ancient Greece but the only thing is that I am in my house currently with what could have the possibility to be my stalker.

“W-who are you and what the fuck are you doing in my house?” I trip over my words as he suddenly rises from his seat and slowly makes steps closer towards me, I continue to stand in place with my mind becoming a bigger scramble and pleading for my body to move or do something rational and not just stand in place like a fucking idiot.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not here to harm you in any way.” He calmly teased, I already could feel his hot breath hitting my skin and goosebumps growing all over my body. His slender form looms over me as the heavily tattooed arm reaches over and brushes against my chest before roughly grabbing my chin and making me look up at him.

“I’m going to enjoy ruining you, little monster.”

“Fuck you.”

“That as well.”

I roll my eyes at him and finally manage to make my first move, grabbing his hand and digging my nails into his inked skin to leave a mark as I push it away from my chin, freeing my face from his tight grasp and automatically taking a cautious step backwards.

"You're a sick bastard if you think I'll let you anywhere near me." I bite back, now slowly regaining back my confidence and movement capability, now running into the kitchen as he calls out from the hallway. “You’re running already? We haven’t even started the real fun yet.” I notice the slight venom between the ‘innocent’ words which makes a shiver run down my spine.

When he finally catches up to me in the kitchen I quickly open one of the drawers with all of the kitchen knifes residing inside of it and take one of the bigger ones out of it, holding it up for him to see and pointing the sharp tip of it in his direction for any possible protection I could get out of it, he stands infront of me on the other side of the kitchen island.

"Back off, bitch." I state with warning lacing my tone as my confidence rises more and the fear now lowering to a smaller level with a calming shiver washing over my body. The only reaction I manage to gauge out of him is a sinister laugh and his smirk intensifying in growth, as if he wasnt comprehending the fact that a kitchen knife resides in my hand.

"You're gonna try to fight me off with that? how cute." He mocks my choice of protection, as if he has anything on himself. He's helpless right now while the knife stays clutched in my hand, well if you discard the fact he has strong arms and could probably snap me in half with just a flick of his fingers which doesnt help with my already high anxiety level.

Before I get to think and appreciate I have the possible high ground in this situation he quickly makes his way towards me which makes me sprint out of the kitchen and back into the living room with him right on my ass behind me, suddenly as Im running away from him a strong calloused hand slams me into the nearby wall and the pain spreads across the whole upper part of my body, a line of curses leaves my mouth in one painful groan.

“You think you can run from me?” He mocks my attempt on trying to escape his wrath, the hand where the knife resided in is currently pinned against my back. The vice grip he has on my hand makes me drop the knife, it hitting the floor with a loud thud which makes me groan in the increase of the immense pain I already feel all over my body.

“You are mine and only mine, if any other men try to even get close to you. I won’t fucking hesitate to kill them and bury them in your backyard for a little reminder who you belong to.”

I try to wiggle my way out of the trap I’ve been placed in, squirming in pain as I feel multiple bruises growing and starting to adore the surface of my skin, and I was out here thinking I had the high ground in this situation against a man thats clearly way stronger, taller and surely has some tricks up his sleave when I have now none since my item for protection has now ended up on the floor and I cannot move to pick it up because of the position Im in.

Suddenly, I feel cold metal being pressed against the back of my head and the fear rises back inside of me as I realize what is currently being held against my head. My breathing becomes labored as he brings his face closer to my ear, his breath hot against the shell of my ear which sends a shiver running down my spine before whispering. “You look so adorable all scared and terrified.”

“I’m gonna call the police on you and they’ll put you finally where you belong.” I hiss through my gridded teeth, fear being evident in my voice which it seems only fuels him to continue through with his actions, the cold metal barrel sliding down my back and tapping the back of my thighs, asking for them to move apart but with how they’re trembling right now I doubt there are going to move in any moment.

“And you think they’ll believe any word you say about this? You can call them all you want but just know, you’ll never get rid of me, little monster.” A chuckle rumbles in his throat and escaping past his lips at my words, him mocking me once again and assuring me I’ll never be able to get rid of him. It’s already been over five months and I the police haven’t even found one trace of finding out this man’s identity and neither did I, he seems like just an everlasting shadow that’s just stuck in your mind that you can’t get rid of.

We hear the front doorbell ring and realization hits me, I remembered my best friend Nora was supposed to visit today to check in on my sanity and how I’m holding up. She visits me whenever she can borrow the time and she makes it her priority to see me atleast once every few days which I appreciate her for so much and can’t thank god that she decided to come at this rightful time.

Before I can realize it, the man releases me from his grasp and the cold gun is taken away from my body and I feel slight relief as my body slides against the wall and down onto the cold floor of my house as the doorbell rings again and we hear Nora call out my name form behind the door. “Hey Ro, you good in there? I heard fighting inside.”

As soon as the front door cracks opens and Nora steps foot into the house, the man is gone. No trace left behind of him, only me sitting on the floor and clutching my body as if it would fall apart if I let go. Nora immediately runs up to my trembling form and envelops me into her warm arms, her face contoured with confusion as she finally speaks up.

“What the fuck happened here?”

@hearts4werka

authors note: omfg the end is so rushed and I’m so so sorry that y’all needed to wait so long for this but I’ve been focused on some of the other fics and my mind was so empty when I was writing this so some sentences might repeat, I hope the wait was worth it but I kinda doubt it. Luv y’all so much

& love and peace, V

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