#I have two novels published btw

[wickedhawtwexler]

my stupid book is literally going to be a thousand pages long HELP

[munchy-k]

danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)

ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw

Nan Chan

an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!

How to Survive as a Villain

transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!

this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀

Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part

living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE

till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending

THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!

After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General

a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel

I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting

Married Thrice to Salted Fish

a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭

if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll

Xiao Jiu

about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama

this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅

Guanshan Muyu

wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!

man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂

I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇

"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"

It’s Not Easy Being a Master

transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀

this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout

Golden Stage/ Terrace

arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭

great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house

Sharing Rain and Dew

MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting

this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read

list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!

[isalisewrites]

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part Two

Welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Disclaimer for all readers of this series: 

I’m going to sound very confident in my posts where I work under the assumption I’m a better writer than JKR; because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You’re simply witnessing the culmination of over two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn’t just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.

I’m not a perfect writer. No one is. I’m not a talented writer either. I’m experienced and skilled through years of study and practice.

I don’t care about J.K. Rowling. At all.

If you’re triggered by the concept and fact that JKR is a terrible crafter of writing, then you might want to take a step back and self reflect on that personal issue.

I still very much love and adore Harry Potter; you’re still allowed to love Harry Potter.

This is not a series to bitch or bash. This isn’t a shitpost. This isn’t an attack on JKR, no matter the disgusting bullshit she spews forth on Twitter. However, my hope is people awaken to the fact that JKR isn’t the goddess of writing we’ve all been led to believe.

This is a place of study and learning, where the purpose is to help students gain critical thinking skills and writing analysis tools to become better in their craft.

And, sorry, one more disclaimer for this specific post: 

Fanfiction is written for fun and is posted for free. I put most of my effort into my main fanfic, Terrible, But Great. (Yes, I intend to update Moon Rite soon, too) However, I also have two fanfics that are cowritten with another author; thus, the style of Shall I Stay and Badger Prey are understandably different. I spend three to four times the hours to edit a chapter versus drafting it. My process for fanfiction: I draft. I do one expansion edit. I do one proofread edit. I post.

However, if I were to publish a novel where people are expected to drop money on said book, my work flow would be vastly more extensive. To be clear, I’d do all of the following myself. I would not outsource. My process for published novels: I would draft. I would do three to four expansion edits. I would do two to three cutting edits. I would do three proofread edits. 

See the difference?

Because I don’t go through a cutting edit for my fanfiction, I’ll often come back later and see things I think are weak. I’m constantly seeing where I can tighten my work. There’s always room for improvement.

Remember: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a paperback book that costs $10. My fanfics are free. If I, someone who writes for free and puts what she considers the bare minimum of effort into them, have a higher standard in the quality of my writing than a paid traditionally published novelist, there’s a problem here. 

All right, with that nonsense out of the way, buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Let’s begin.

Class is in session.

In this post, we’re going to discuss these five pages from HP5 and dissect one paragraph and a line from page 731. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

(My favorite book in the series, btw. I fucking love fifth year the most. JKR did a damn good job with Umbridge.)

Since a certain anon lacked the skill to comprehend the difference between too much dialogue and stories driven by a high saturation of dialogue, let's go into further depth about dialogue.

What did I mean last week when I said: "Too much fucking dialogue!"

Today’s lesson will focus on the overall issue in JKR’s dialogue and in the prose surrounding those dialogue lines.

And since, apparently, I “lack the self awareness” to know most of my fics are “oversaturated with dialogue,” I’m going to use weaker examples of my own writing. Chapter 24 of TBG is heavily driven by dialogue with twenty-one named characters to juggle, something that's very difficult for me to manage. Though the chapter is lovely, I do feel it's some of my weaker work. In the end, I just didn’t have the energy to edit it a second time nor go through cutting edit.

Here are three different pages (some connected, some not) from Chapter 24 of Terrible, But Great. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

You can already see the difference, I'm sure.

So, what’s the difference between a scene that has 'too much fucking dialogue' versus a scene that is highly saturated with dialogue?

Because there is one.

Let's set the scene for HP5. In the middle of an OWL exam, Harry received a vision from Voldemort, showing him that Sirius has been captured. He's being tortured to get something from a shelf, but Sirius refuses. Harry believes the vision is real. He tells Ron and Hermione, then asks for their advice on how to rescue Sirius. Ron and Hermione are both like, pardon, wtf, sir? (As they should be.)

We have five pages of this fight between them. These five pages are mostly dialogue with very little else surrounding it.

Also, note the final page where it has the worst sins of adverb usage. That page is what triggered me to begin writing this series in the first place, btw.

There's too much dialogue here. There's no description. I'm being told stuff, but I'm not being shown anything. There are no emotional anchors to Harry either. The more I reread this scene, the more I realized what was wrong.

There’s an emotional disconnect from Harry in the prose.

Do not misunderstand me: it is NOT to say that Harry isn’t emotional here. It's that the prose doesn’t grip me, the reader, by the chest and twist my heart with his overwhelming emotions. The prose doesn't prove anything, doesn't show me anything. This is an intense, terrifying moment for Harry. It should feel visceral. It should feel tangible. I should be able to taste his fear.

We also don’t get too much information about the emotional states of Ron and Hermione. We have hints, of course. But we can’t feel them. The emotions of the scene are dampened, muffled, dull even.

With an untrained eye, you might disagree. It's okay. You'll see what I mean soon.

Page 731 exact quote:

"I dunno how," said Harry. "But I know exactly where. There's a room in the Department of Mysteries full of shelves covered in these little glass balls, and they're at the end of row ninety-seven...He's trying to use Sirius to get whatever it is he wants from in there....He's torturing him....Says he'll end by killing him..." Harry found his voice shaking, as were his knees. He moved over to a desk and sat down on it, trying to master himself.

(Btw, punctuation issue: you do not use an ellipsis and a period together and there should be a space after the ellipsis.)

This is the only instance in the five pages where we get any information about Harry's physical state.

And it's written in such a weak 'telling' instead of 'showing' way, too.

How and where was his voice shaking? How are his knees shaking? Are they knocking together in a weird way that's kind of physically improbable? Or was it actually his legs were shaking? Isn't he leaning against the door? If his weight was resting against the door, then there'd be less shaking in his knees or legs because his knees would be locked to brace his body against the door. His arms and hands would be shaking, though.

How does Harry master himself? What does that look like? Slow breaths? Running a hand through his hair? Rubbing his face and eyes? How is Harry mastering himself? Is it mentally? Then, where are those mastering thoughts? What are they and why do those thoughts in particular help Harry 'master' himself?

What's Harry's tone as he talking about Voldemort threatening to kill Sirius? How is Harry feeling about this? Give me MORE!

The dialogue is presented to the reader in a bland, empty fashion. Harry is relating something to Ron and Hermione. I could switch the dialogue out with anything and it'd still make sense.

There is little surrounding the dialogue to anchor it.

So, let's rewrite this, shall we?

"I dunno how," said Harry, letting out a shaky breath. His hands clenched into fists against the door of the classroom. "But I know where—they're in a room in the Department of Mysteries that's filled with rows of shelves holding these... weird little glass balls. They're in row ninety-seven. Voldemort, he's—" Harry's voice broke. His breath caught in his throat. The memory of the vision returned full force into his mind, the image of Sirius on the floor at Voldemort's feet stark in his mind. He ducked his chin; his chest inhaled in a desperate breath and the edges of his eyes burned. He's torturing Sirius—I can't just wait around. I can't lose him. Harry looked up at Ron, whose face had grown pale, while Hermione stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. The strength in Harry's legs weakened. "He needs Sirius to get whatever it is he wants and he's—" Harry sucked in a gasp, his voice trembling like an autumn leaf in a thunderstorm. "—he's torturing Sirius... says he'll kill him in the end." His knees buckled. Harry stumbled to the nearest desk; Ron reached out with a steadying hand on Harry's upper arm and silent gratitude filled Harry's heart. With shaky arms, Harry lifted himself onto the desk to sit and twisted around to face Ron and Hermione. He licked his dry lips, rubbed his eyes with a hand, and took slow, deep breaths to master his fraying emotions.

The original canon text has 57 words of dialogue with a total of 83 words.

My rewritten version uses 56 words of dialogue with a total of 247 words.

I'm going to drill this concept into your heads, my lovely students: this is what I mean when I keep saying JKR's writing is both bloated and underwritten.

I only rewrote a single paragraph and its following line. The five pages I've provided are filled with this kind of empty dialogue.

So, what have I done here? Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference?

Let's analyze what I focused on in this scene to show Harry's body language and his thoughts. I upped the physical effects on Harry's body. His fear causes his voice to break in the middle of explaining what's going on. He's terrified of losing Sirius, the only father figure he's ever known. Voldemort might take another parental figure from him. 

And now the prose reflects these feelings, not just in his thoughts, but also in how he speaks and reacts to what is around him. He is not just speaking at the reader.

Harry exists in his world. 

And you can feel it.

When he stumbles to the desk, Ron is there for him. Hermione reacting could also be added here. There is a lot that can be added to this scene, if one wanted to expand this further. 

Yes, what I've done has increased the word count, yet it strengthens this short moment—and I'd do this for the entire scene.

What I did to the scene is merely one version of its potential. It could be rewritten in a multitude of ways and go in various directions. I spent 10mins to 20mins on it. I haven't edited it or refined it.

Can you finally see what I mean now?

If you compare the highlighted pages of HP5 to the highlighted pages of Chp 24 of TBG, you can visually see the difference in the density of the dialogue. JKR is the one whose writing is oversaturated with dialogue. My writing will always be highly saturated with dialogue because my stories are character driven. I prefer stories like that. But I also need the dialogue to be interesting and engaging, where the character feels alive in their world.

When I say there's too much dialogue, this scene is such a good example of this because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all over the place in their interactions with each other. Yes, you want your characters to sound realistic, but you're also the author curating an experience for the reader.

There's a balancing tightrope act between having realistic dialogue and unnecessary dialogue.

There's a thin line between showing too much and telling too little.

Lastly, if I were to improve the overall scene, I would center the focus on Harry's desperation to rescue Sirius. As Ron and Hermione try to talk him out of it, where Hermione delivers that iconic line of 'you have a people saving thing,' I'd have Harry explode with something like this:

"You don't know what's it like! You both have your parents—I-I don't... You'd feel the same as me if it were either of your parents being tortured by Voldemort, yeah? I can't lose him—I can't lose Sirius."

I'm not bothering with description around it right now. I just wanted to give the baseline dialogue to show you the theme I'd carry through this scene. It's all about Sirius. It's all about the fear of losing him. It's about showing the emotion of the character and making the reader feel that deeply.

And that's what matters the most.

All right then.

We have come to an end of Part Two in this series. We have discussed fives pages in JKR's Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The pages in question are 731 - 735 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.

And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.

Until next time.

Isa

[centrally-unplanned]

I watched two documentaries recently that were very "2000's nerd culture" which I thought were very fun! In like a meta way as cultural commentary, of course, it is me after all. The first was Indie Game: The Movie, a 2012 documentary on the making Braid, Super Meat Boy, and Fez. It is a "creator-focused" documentary and in particular for the latter two games the film crew actually filmed them mid-production & release, which does make for some authentically heartfelt scenes.

So in a certain sense all eras of documentary will contain this, but the 2000's going into the 2010's was absolutely rife with a new wave of films, often supported by crowdsourcing funds like Indie Game was, primarily concerned with the self-legitimization of niche subcultures. By creating something cohesive, academic, and prestigious like a documentary, the film can codify the subculture as "real" and "worthy", and additionally lend credence to narratives about the subculture that have grown prevalent. And to be clear, this is not a criticism, even if there are parts that are - all meaning and identity is forged in similar ways. But for nerd culture in the 2000's, there was a particularly intense need for this process, because this was the era of nerdom going mainstream. That level of culture shift generated demand for all the above, which films like this aim to supply. There were lot of films of this type - we made a brony "documentary" propaganda film guys, nothing was exempt.

Indie Game is overwhelmingly the story of outsider artists bleeding and dying for their art, which will triumph above all odds. And it leans, heavily, into the bleed; at one point Phil Fish (creator of Fez), openly states he might commit suicide if his game fails. Much screen time is spent on personal sacrifice, financial poverty, the "doubters", etc. This is of course a classic tale for artists, but if I may be so bold that is something of an easy sell - emotionally, narratively - for someone writing the Great American Novel. It is maybe harder to sell if you are making this?

(Cover art by Bryan Lee O'Malley btw - very era appropriate!) How do we make "dude in hat solves puzzles" worth the Starving Artist life?

We do that by positioning these games not as games, but as paradigms. These games, by dint of being the independent vision of unitary creators, are making games that Big Gaming never could. New digital means of distribution are allowing artists to cut out the middleman of publishers, groups that corrupt the real vision of creators. And with no barriers to development, now anyone (maybe...even you?) can make games that can compete in the big leagues. Indie games through this lens are a different product than mainstream titles, and these creators are opening doors. And their suffering is going to be financially rewarded with success and money to boot! That is the narrative Indie Game is selling to its audience of gamers, to understand why the indie games they bought and loved are meaningful.

And to be clear, as much as I am about to deconstruct this, it isn't like totally false or anything. Starting in the late 2000's digital platforms like Steam, more accessible development tools like Unity (released in 2005), and so on did in fact make smaller games appealing to more niche markets more viable, and by virtue of their nicheness yeah they can do things big budget games maybe can't. These creators absolutely had passionate visions for their games, sacrifice for your passions is fine (not bashing that part here), hats off to them. Indie games in this era would absolutely "change gaming".

But not really in the ways this narrative wants them to, nor with the "meaning" people of the time expected it to have. For one, there is a conflict in this documentary of them wanting to highlight "bold new visions" and also wanting to highlight...popular indie games. This is Super Meat Boy, for example:

Yeah, never had a 2D platformer blob guy dodging traps before in gaming! "No see its retro" yeah retro to what, old games? Like those Nintendo made back in the 90's, which you explicitly mention in your documentary? You know, niche indie studio Nintendo? This isn't a bash, at all, at the game itself, but instead the idea that "AAA Studios would never"; they totally would, and always did. There has never been an era where the large gaming studios weren't also making creative games, but for this narrative they need to be propped up as static for it to make sense. And the actual niche indie stuff that big studios wouldn't touch don't sell well enough to justify being in this film!

And the idea of the "solo developer" is also, hm, let us say a bit sus. Not that these developers weren't solo or small teams, they were (though ofc a solo core creator will often have dozens of helpers on supporting roles that get sidelined in this "unitary vision" narrative); but that such a model is all that new? How big do you think development teams were in the 90's for so many classic games? The original Pokemon Red/Blue game had less than a dozen core developers (the total staff list, including American localizers, is ~30 people - Super Meat Boy meanwhile seems to have 16 for comparison). You wanna bring up the dev teams for PC-98 visual novels? They were made in an Akihabara cave with a box of pixel art scraps by like 6 people! You think those games didn't have "unitary creative visions"? Small gaming companies have always been a part of the ecosystem, getting niche titles funded & published using insane magic and pure luck. The "indie boom" is better seen as a change in the numerator.

Though what did change is that, by being self-published, development was approachable by outsiders in new ways. Though even then, this is a bit of a lie - Jonathan Blow of Braid was an industry veteran, and everyone here plays the "convention circuit" and networks with people like the PAX crew and Xbox representatives. But with the games being published by an individual over a studio, even a studio of a half dozen people, it is far easier for the audience to see the creators as "one of them". No office, no suits, just a man in his gamer den banging out his dream. That aesthetic is core to why this narrative was potent at the time, and why making a documentary to codify it was seen as compelling. It takes an already ascendant idea, polishes it, packages it as nonfiction, and then sells the idea back to the people who invented it. LIke so much media, to be clear! I always enjoy seeing it, it is the dialectic of culture in action.

I also find it very funny to see a documentary made in 2012 playing tropes that will become far more ~problematic~ just around the corner. Burnout and work-life balance - in a documentary where a developer, crying, discusses suicide if his game fails, to remind you - is pretty much never mentioned, and a successful game launch is absolutely presented as justifying endless crunch. You would never see that today. The only women in this documentary are wives and parents - which is very amusing, because the co-creator of the film is a woman! No one thinks gender is relevant to mention. Boy would that change in a few years.

Indie games today, of course, are just a segment of the gaming market. They are incredibly common now, so much so that most people lose money making them, people discuss oversaturation, big studio companies have "indie wings" to cover consumer preference ranges, etc. There is no magic in it anymore, it is just dev strategy. So yeah, very enjoyable as a representative time capsule in a strain of culture that is pretty much gone now! The Capital-R Romantic Era of indie gaming; what a time.

In the next post, we are going much more niche, so stay tuned for that. Or don't, I don't know you, and like this was a loooot of writing. Maybe i'll, idk work on that for the next one? ...I probably won't -_-

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: October 2024

hello, ahoy, and welcome to my October reading recap.

I made a real effort to focus on spooOOOoooky books this month, in the name of the season; you may even recall that I started early and read some spooky stories at the tail end of September. (read Carmen Maria Machado's comic The Low, Low Woods, btw.)

I've never been great at sticking to a theme but I think it helped that what gets classified as "horror" can vary greatly, so I never really got bored of the genre. I did get disappointed more than once by how Not Spooky some of these books turned out to be, but that's a totally different question.

right at the end of the month you'll notice a couple of outliers with Caped Crusade and Luster, which happened entirely because I was out of library books and on the road for a conference, so I was reading what I could get my hands on! I've been working on rereading Caped Crusade on and off for a couple months and I bought Luster at a cool indie bookstore in the town I was visiting and then inhaled most of it on the way home.

ANYWAY. to the books!

And Then I Woke Up (Malcolm Devlin, 2022) - this is a novella with an interesting spin on the zombie story, where the "zombies" are actually people who have started suffering hallucinations that fill them with paranoia and force them see other people as monsters. so, like, there were never any REAL monsters, but a woman looked at her young son and saw him as a cannibalistic monster, so she killed him. so who's the real monster? it's very deep. this story's explanation for this is "the narrative," an idea so strong that it simply seems to take hold of anyone who's around a sufficiently charismatic ringleader who drives them to join in their delusions and kill innocents who don't share their worldview. it's not a super subtle zombie metaphor, but I guess very few zombie metaphors are. it's fine.

Through the Woods (Emily Carroll, 2014) - I truly wholeheartedly wish I had more to say about this but it's just a very charming creepy collection of comics. my favorite was the one that was the scariest, involving humans getting taken over by body-snatching worm monsters, but on the whole it was a very minor creepy factor. the art's great the whole way through.

Happy Medium (Sarah Adler, 2024) - Happy Medium is October's romance novel as picked by my patreonites, and I will admit: my hopes were not high going in. a conwoman posing as a psychic clashing with a skeptical hottie goat farmer didn't ping me as a great mix, but honestly? HONESTLY? it kind of served. there was a much more well-rounded emotional core to this book than I often encounter in my romance novels; at risk of sounding like a cornball it genuinely had a lot of heart. the conwoman is actually extremely charming, I was rooting for her in a big way, and her emotional journey goes so far beyond just falling in love with the goat farmer. I'll happily claim Happy Medium as my #1 romance of the year unless a challenger arises in the next two months, but it's not looking likely.

The Ones That Got Away (Stephen Graham Jones, 2010) - this is a collection of Graham's short stories that was published long before he became a huge name in horror with books like The Only Good Indians and My Heart Is a Chainsaw. and as much as I hate to say it, I think I personally prefer his longer form fiction. none of these short stories were bad, per se, and they're incredibly stylized and polished, but I think I like Jones' work a lot more when it has time to simmer out. I may have also been biased by the fact that I was desperately seeking something scary to read, because while Jones plays with some pretty narsty concepts, the horror tends not to hit until a last page reveal that recontextualizes everything that's come before. which is cool! but not scaring me as much as I wish it was.

The Salt Grows Heavy (Cassandra Khaw, 2023) - a lot of people told me I should read this because it stars a killer mermaid and a plague doctor, which are two aesthetic archetypes I love, and I will give this to Cassandra Khaw: I liked this a lot more than their other book, Nothing But Blackened Teeth. which is clearing a very low bar, since I didn't really like that book at all, but I do think Salt is genuinely a pretty marked improvement. the prose is still kind of torturously overwrought in many places and I desperately wish that Khaw would put the thesaurus away, but there's like. a Concept here. the core is fun.

Tell Me I'm Worthless (Alison Rumfitt, 2021) - this book is by far the scariest I read, because the horror is hatred and bigotry and a fucked up, evil house that brings out the very worst of everyone who steps inside of it. this book gets so fucked up and bloody and downright nasty in its exploration of the characters and the underlying bigotries that turn them against each other and drive them apart. I don't want to spoil anything, but the book follows a white trans woman named Alice and her mixed race, cis ex-girlfriend Ila. in the past Alice and Ila entered the evil house with their friend Hannah; that ended with Hannah dead and missing and Alice and Ila both scarred and traumatized, each certain that they were raped by the other. so that's what this book is like! not a lighthearted undertaking, but one that I could. not. put. down.

A Sunny Place for Shady People (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2024) - what is there to say? Enríquez is my short story queens, and her new release absolutely lived up to the precedent set for me by The Dangers of Smoking in Bed, which was originally published in 2009 but not translated into English until 2021. this collection is sooo aptly named, because many of the stories are obsessed with the terror of places: hotels haunted by memories, neighborhoods filled with ghosts, junkyards where bodies are hidden, towns abandoned and taken over by something sinister. also, completely detached from the quality of the writing, this book has one of the most striking covers I've encountered this year. the screaming yellow cover and bold purple text looked SO COOL under the purple string lights in my bedroom, which was a little +1 to my mood every time I saw it :)

Thirst (Marina Yuszczuk, trans. Heather Cleary 2024) - I think if I had to pick a favorite book from my spooktober reading, Thirst would edge Tell Me I'm Worthless out by just a hair, because I'm just SUCH a sucker for a modern gothic. this novel is split into two chunks. the first is narrated by a vampire (hinted to be one of Dracula's infamous brides) who flees the Old World and crosses the sea to find safety in a young Buenos Aires, where she struggles to figure out how to slake her thirst and escape from loneliness while avoiding detection in a modernizing world. ultimately she seals herself away in a crypt to escape the relentless pace of change around her, and that's when our perspective shifts. here we join a modern woman with a young son, an ex husband, and a dying mother, who's struggling under the pressure of grief as she watches her mother waste away. she ends up accidentally reawakening the vampire from the first half of the book, and you can imagine things get weirder from there. honestly, for me, the part of this book that's most brilliant is the latter half and it's deep meditation on grief, but the historical portion of the book also plays the vampire gothic to the hilt. delicious!

The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture (Glen Weldon, 2016) - this is a really fun piece of pop culture history, tracking how Batman came to be DC's little #1 it boy alongside the developing prominence of nerds and fandom as a cultural force to be reckoned with. as I said above, this was a reread for me, because I wanted to circle back now that I've actually read most of the major comic events discussed in the book. Weldon weaves between Batman in comics, TV, and movies to examine on how one portrayal influences another - for instance: the goofy '66 TV series saw a huge backlash in comics, which went way dark to reinforce a grim and serious Batman for 'real' fans who objected to the show making Batman a joke to much of the normie population - and I think that's a really neat lineage to trace. while I think Weldon is sometimes a bit too transparent with his own disdain for certain adaptations, he overall has an extremely levelheaded approach to Batfandom and a conversationally informative approach that I really enjoy. of particular note is the fact that Weldon is himself a gay man, making him one of the only writers I trust to talk about why he personally dislikes Joel Schmacher's movies without getting homophobic about it.

Luster (Raven Leilani, 2020) - this book!!! this was one of three novels recommended to me by Bonnie at Snowbound Books, and Bonnie if you are on this website I owe you my LIFE because you were 100% correct. I was obsessed from the very first line and it only gets better from there; Leilani's prose is painting a searing, witty Sistine Chapel to render her protagonist's miserable life in vivid color and detail. the short version is that our 23 year old hot mess finds herself jobless and homeless and ends up moving in with her married boyfriend who's 23 years her senior, where she forms a powerfully weird connection with his rage-filled wife and develops a bond with the couple's nerdy adopted daughter, as the two of them are the only Black women in the excessively white neighborhood. (spoiler alert: she also realizes that her married boyfriend is a fucking loser.) it's a simple enough premise but the execution is bananas in its flair. I couldn't believe this is Leilani's first and so far only novel; if she ever drops another I'll drag myself through barbed wire to get my hands on it.

Juniper & Thorn (Ava Reid, 2022) - I first became aware of this novel via twitter thread of Reid's that made its way to tumblr, in which Reid bemoaned being harangued by readers who were shocked that her dark fairy tale retelling had, you know, dark shit in it. having now read the book, I have to say: these people are fucking pussies. going into this book I was under the impression that there was full on-page father/daughter rape happening, which is actually NOT the case, so you can breathe easy if incest is a hard no for you. what's actually here is a wizard dad who's emotionally abusive, non-incestuous sexual abuse in the backstories of the main character and her love interest, some moderately explicit consensual sex, some bulimia, and [spoiler alert!] admittedly a lot more cannibalism than expected. it's not a lighthearted romp but it's also like, come on. come on. grow up. in terms of the actual book, rather than its controversy, I didn't LOVE it but I'm still compelled enough by the world building (particularly Jewish author Reid's Hueli people, who are a fairly obvious stand-in for Jews down to people claiming that they have horns and using phrenology to prove the have an unfair advantage at making money) that I'm going to check out Reid's earlier novel, The Wolf and the Woodsman, a novel set in the same world. it felt a little repetitive in places and the characters were largely pretty predictable, both of which may be a byproduct of trying to encapsulate the vibe of a classic fairy tale, but I had a good time reading it.

[shai-manahan]

Hollowed Minds Progress Update 1/02/24

Hi! I hope you're all having a good year so far! I planned to post this last night but I was too anxious over having to return to work lmfao (with the holidays being over and all). Anyway, I know it's been a year since my last update; believe me, I'm upset about it, too, and I'm trying to make up for that.

To be completely honest, aside from my health, one thing that's been stopping me from progressing steadily was my attempts at improving the way I write. I was struggling to find my own style the entire year, experimenting over and over (sometimes without rest, like an idiot), and I know that probably sounds stupid, but writing as a craft is so special to me that I want to be better at it.

It did backfire, though. A lot. Mostly because I couldn't maintain a balance between this and irl stuff.

The thing is, I plan to write trad novels and short stories in the future. I plan to go back to writing screenplays, too. I don't think I'll ever stop making IFs, but there are things I want to write about that I can never do through this medium (and the same is true vice versa). This is also why I tend to keep editing HM while trying to push through with newer updates; this is the only way I can learn more about what I wish to do in the future. This is my chance to practice and experiment, before I get anything published and make the kind of impression I aim to make.

And I think I finally found the style I love to use the most this time.

I feel ready now to post progress updates regularly at least every two weeks (this one doesn't count). I was ashamed of my slow progress for quite a while, but I know I can start moving forward again. I'm also just eager to show you the story I've always wanted to share, and that'd never happen unless I push myself so :').

You're free to ask for progress in case I miss doing this btw, just. don't be an ass about it lmao. And feel free to send asks as well!

So far, this is what I'm trying to improve for the posted demo:

conciseness

strengthening the settings and the descriptions involving them

revising a few dialogues that do not fit the characters at all

readability and making some details clearer

overall pacing of ch2's first part

the nightmare scenes

reassessment of which variations would be most important to the plot and MC's characterization.

everything else I cannot think of right now

I think I'll dedicate a week or two into finishing whatever needs to be cleaned up so there'll be less game-breaking bugs that might happen for the new content. But after that 👀

That's all for tonight!

P.S. recently bought a lampshade and damn. this is definitely much better for my eyes when I write.

[itsawritblr]

Don't share anyone's pseudonym.

I have to change one of my professional pen names because a friend I thought I could trust, one of only two people not in publishing who knows, blabbed to her writing group that the nom de plume is me.

This pseudonym is one I've only used for short stories. But I was going to use it for an new novel. But now I have to change it. Thank god we hadn't gotten any further in the process, because if it were already being printed I'd be stuck with the present pseud.

If someone entrusts you with their pen name it's because they trust you to keep it to yourself.

It doesn't matter if you think it's not a big deal to tell others. There are many reasons writers use a pseudonym. Some are commercial, some are very personal.

When a writer has published under a pseud, that name becomes their brand. They don't want to have to change it.

If someone asks you to not tell anyone else, do this:

If you're a writer who uses a pseudonym, the safest bet is to tell no one. I know it sucks to not be able to show someone a story/fic and say "I wrote this!" But if you felt you needed a pseud in the first place, the safest secret is one never told.

I have three other pen names, each for a different genre, one for fanfics. Only my dearest best friend of 22 years, who's my first editor, knows they're mine.

Now I have to come up with a new pseudonym. And that ain't easy! Especially when it will/might end up on the cover of my book.

BTW, if you're choosing a pseud, pick one whose surname begins with M. That'll give you a good spot on library and bookshelves.

[jimmycarterghostland]

(This is going to be kind of a long post about Worm. BTW, I'm currently on the Scarab arc)

I'm reading Scarab 25.1 of Worm right now.

I only read a couple of words of it, though. I had to make this post, because I need to say it boggles my mind when someone says they read Worm in a matter of weeks. I saw a Reddit comment from a guy(I'm assuming they were a guy) who said they read Worm in two weeks. I started this read in either May or June. So either 4 or 5 months ago, and I'm still reading. This web serial is MASSIVE.

When I first started the read, I would read three chapters per day. But these chapters are so long now, I only read one of them per day. And I can't even imagine reading Worm in two weeks. I would quickly get tired of reading that many words. This thing is over one million and a half words long.

Some background: I discovered Worm years ago, back when I was googling the longest story, or probably when I was searching up a one million word-long story. I can't remember which of those things led me to Worm.

Ultimately, I ended up discovering this story. I spoiled a lot of it for myself. I also used to read it out of chronological order. I would read random scenes and stuff. My attempts to read the entire story in order failed. Until I started this current read months ago. I don't mention all of that in my occasional posts about Worm, and I spoiled a bunch more of it for myself during this read. So, I'm actually aware of a lot that's going to happen in this story later on. Reading Worm completely unaware of what was going to happen in it must have been crazy for people who read it live.

I like how Wildbow has a bunch of loyal readers who comment on every chapter. I pray my own web serial gets loyal fans like those. Technically, I'm a silent reader with Worm. I don't leave comments on WordPress, but I do discuss Worm on Tumblr, and I've been reading every chapter. It's funny, because as a writer, I hate having silent readers. Positive comments on a story are encouraging, gives me the push I need to keep writing it.

Anyway, I love Worm. It's so good. There are definitely some grammar errors and some instances of clunky writing, but this story is still a lot better than many traditionally published novels. I won't name any names, but there's this one traditionally published novel that I've been reading every day, and it's absolute trash. I actually dread reading it. But I hate having a book and leaving it unfinished, so I'm forcing myself to read that one. It sucks so bad. The difference in quality between this book and Worm is astounding. Seriously. It makes me appreciate Worm a lot more. I never dread having to read a chapter of Worm.

The characters in Worm are complex and have their own unique personalities and speech patterns. Wildbow is a master of writing multiple points of view, and a master of writing distinct characters. Characters in Worm have unique dialogue. I remember reading a certain chapter and just knew it was Skidmark speaking, because he is vulgar and doesn't feel shame when he curses or says something inappropriate.

In Hookwolf's interlude, his personality pops off the page. His racism shows in his thoughts. He refers to Shatterbird as a racial slur in his inner monologue. A non-racist character would have used the proper term for Shatterbird's ethnicity in their inner monologue. But Hookwolf is a racist. He thinks like one, and Wildbow shows that well. Wildbow knows how to give each of his narrators a distinct character voice. Or if not each of them, enough of them. Many authors are bad at writing multiple POV fiction. Wildbow isn't one of them. And since I prefer multiple POV literature over single POV, I'm glad that Worm is a good example of what good multiple POV literature looks like.

Worm has some great subtlety too. A lot of things aren't overexplained. As in, Wildbow doesn't unnecessarily beat the reader over the head with certain stuff. Like, when Leviathan was moving slower, implying he was weaker than he was when the battle against him first started. Wildbow could have written "Leviathan was moving slower because he was weaker." Wildbow didn't do that, though. The fact Leviathan was moving slower told enough.

Another instance of Wildbow being great with subtlety was Charlotte's interlude. She is distrustful of men because of what happened to her at the mall, but Wildbow doesn't constantly refer back to that incident. There's no overexplaining. The reader can already guess that Charlotte is distrustful of men because of that mall incident. If Worm was written by a bad writer, they would have kept explaining how the mall accident was what made Charlotte scared of men. Wildbow does a great job of "show, don't tell".

I no longer think Worm will be traditionally published. I wish it would be, but at some point I realized it would be very hard for Worm to be traditionally published. I think it's fine the way it is. Having Worm in a web serial format is good enough.

I love Worm, and I am glad it exists.

[leliosinking]

Hot take I guess but the fandom was way too hard on this book (and still is tbh) and for what? Because it isn’t interested in fan service? If anything Anne’s writing was at its best when she ignored what fans wanted, and I think it’s time for a reevaluation of my boy Vittorio the Vampire.

I just think this was such a promising start to New Tales (more than Pandora, even) and I sort of hate all of you for boycotting it or telling new readers to skip it. (as far as i’m concerned TVA, Merrick, B&G, BF and BC are all unofficially New Tales anyway.. TVL-MtD are the only proper vampire chronicles, everything else falls into different categories, but I digress).

With regard to Vittorio, however, we were given a true blue Ricean vampire hunter novel (the only one mind you) with an actual, functioning plot and some of the best action she’s written since TVL… and you all shunned it. And I get it, we don’t read these books for conventional, commercial plot contrivances, but for the florid language and richly crafted characters; but this is the rare Anne Rice novel that’s just.. fun for the sake of fun?

And no, I’m not blind to its problems. It absolutely needed another draft or two (as do a lot of the later VC entires) and no, Vittorio is not her strongest protagonist by leagues. But what we got was still filled to the brim with good ideas?

The Court of the Ruby Grail cult, especially, is one my favorite of Anne’s inventions. Like their dynamic with the local human villages feeding them their castoffs was legitimately disturbing and IMO better executed than most of the times she retreaded the Children of Darkness post-TVL.

And while Vittorio the character might be kind of boring, Florian and Ursula carry this novel and deserved to enter the larger narrative tapestry on their strengths alone but “waaah Lestat and co. aren’t here” so “it’s bad” or whatever.. I really can’t stand some of y’all.

Anyway, this is long enough and I really didn’t set out to write an essay in defense of what is ultimately a mid-tier entry into this series. But. I still feel that much in the way that MtD and Blackwood Farm have been recently reassessed as good novels that happen to be bad VC entires I think it’s time for some of you to similarly reevaluate Vittorio the Vampire, because this is a good vampire novel, it just isn’t a good vampire chronicle (well I think it is and yet and yet and yet). But it’s still part of the series and it does fit into the larger picture despite what some will have you believe.

If this is your first time, I personally like to read VTV between Body Thief and Memnoch. I think it is better thematically situated there than between TVA and Merrick as initially published. The archangels that enter later in the story build nicely upon David’s vision of God and Satan in TTOTBT and make for a strong intermission full of angels and demons that assist in setting up the Dantean finale of MtD. (I have more suggested reading orders btw, some other time perhaps).

I dunno.. if you like this book please let me know lol like I could use the solidarity because I feel like I’m the only one (I have it ranked #6 out of 15). But yeah, I think Vittorio is probably the most underrated and most unfairly slandered entry in Anne’s entire catalogue if I’m being completely honest.

[ilbenmalpensanteus]

Hello, recently excerpts were published in Jump magazine in honor of Naruto 25th anniversary and it says that a poke in the forehead is the highest manifestation of love in the Uchiha family, it turns out Kishimoto implies that Sasuke deeply loves Sakura, but I don't understand why he then writes them as a miserable couple that Sasuke has not appeared in the family for years, why he draws Sakura's sad face during the question about the kiss, and also that Sakura doesn't know if he wore glasses, they don't even have a photo together, why do you think he decided to portray them like that?

What Jump says doesn’t necessarily reflect Kishimoto writing. It’s important to remember that, for example, data books (that are NOT totally written by Kishimoto and cannot be compared to the canon manga itself), implied more than once Sakura’s feeling for Naruto (something Kishimoto then denied in an interview stating Sakura always loved Sasuke — otherwise she would have been a “bad” woman (terrible pick, Kishi, btw)) to basically surf the fandom’s wave supporting narusaku.

The canon interpretation of the forehead poke is explicitly stated by Itachi himself: an affectionate gesture, but a gesture of distance nonetheless. Something that’s also supported by the narrative: both Itachi and Sasuke leave after poking the x person’s forehead (not keeping their promises). Sakura herself uses it to avoid Sarada’s questions.

Now, given the phrasing, it seems obvious that what jump said is: 1. an a posteriori attribution of meaning; 2. Fanservice.

I love headcanons and such myself, but when it comes down to canon material interpretations, jump, SP or novels, don’t concern me at all. Kishimoto wrote 72 volumes (+ other minor content), it’s not my fault people need to be spoon-fed with second-hand interpretations because what’s written doesn’t support their ships.

Aside for that, as for the portrait Kishimoto offers of the main couple, I only have two words (ok, not really two but you know what I mean):

1. Shudo

2. Literary Japanese Histroy

It’s a topic I could write an entire dissertation on, and I can assure y’all, looking at the work using this kind of lens (basically knowing the bare minimum about Japanese literature and history), make you understand the ending we got makes totally sense (even the lame canon couples).

P.S. I am aware ss fans are using this to support the idea that Sakura was the number one person in Sasuke’s mind since Adam and Eve (or at least, end Shippuden), but the ones who read the manga (and don’t need this kind of delusion to avoid crying themselves into oblivion) know the truth.

[lovemyromance]

Idk why this is a hard concept to grasp:

Anything that would move the plot or character development forward.. is included in the book.

Major developments that move the plot forward - included in the book.

Character interactions that are important to the integral plot - included in the book.

Plot points to set up for future overarching plot - included in the book.

Therefore it makes absolutely no sense to have an entire couple that has been foreshadowed for 3 books now to break up in a bonus chapter.

That would leave readers confused. They will ask "oh, weren't Az & Elain a thing?" They will wonder about all the moments they read between the pairing in the last book.

It also makes no sense to include a new love interest in a bonus chapter.

I know people love to bring up "Have you read the bonus chapter?" any time someone says they don't know where Gwynriel came from. I think it's funny, because if Gwynriel was foreshadowed in the actual book, don't you think they'd be asking "Well, did you read the book?" Why is the first question "did you read the bonus chapter?"

That's what Elriels ask, btw, if someone even says they don't know where Elriel came from (very rare occurrence). They don't point to a BC where Azriel is explicitly showing desire for Elain (though that would be too easy), they point to the 3 books of canon text.

Gwynriel doesn't have anything outside the bonus chapter. And that bonus chapter is also heavily skewed based on their interpretation of the text. Most people still do not see romance between the two even after reading the gwynriel's beloved 2nd half of the BC.

My point is, if someone opened the next ACOTAR book and it was Azriel suddenly head over heels for Gwyn of all characters, people would be confused. Yes the bonus chapter is available, but most people haven't read it, and even then, it's not a very solid foundation for a whole BOOK of their romance.

SJM is not going to write something to cause more confusion with the plot in a bonus chapter. She's not going to suddenly break up the couple she's been foreshadowing for 3 books and insert a new love interest in a limited edition version of the book only found from one bookstore in the US.

And I know there are people that are like "Oh well SJM has written full marriages in the BC."

I assume they are referring to singular occurrence of that in the HOFAS BC.

*SPOILER ALERT*

Ruhn & Lidia get married in a BC. That's true. But their marriage and that BC occurs at the end of the book. After the main conflict has been solved, and it is essentially a happily ever after epilogue type bonus. It is not a major development of the plot nor a shock or twist to anyone. They were already mates and together. Them getting married in the bonus chapter was just a fun wholesome way to add to the series. In fact, the entire event was so lowkey Ruhns mom wasn't even mentioned as being there.

There were no questions raised after that BC. SJM could write a 4th CC book, and their marriage would likely not have any relevance to the overall plot of that novel. She could have never published it, and it wouldn't have changed a thing.

Thats the difference. BC do not cover major plot development, they sow seeds for the future and are sometimes just for fun. They are often not needed or relevant for the plot in the book at that time. So they are not included in the book. That's it. She doesn't write bonus chapters to cause even more confusion.

But I thought it was obvious 🤷🏻‍♀️

[writingquestionsanswered]

New Writer Worried About Dull Writing

Anonymous asked: I’m relatively new to writing creatively and fear my work is too beige - is this a problem like so many people say? Or is there a market for my blunt speaking (I do include metaphors/similes, btw). I read books like [popular series] and the writing style is similar to my own, but I still feel somewhat insecure.

If you're a newer writer (meaning you have not been writing for years and do not have numerous completed and critiqued works under your belt), it's far too early for you to worry about the quality of your writing. Far too early. One of the biggest misconceptions about writing is it's something you're just instantly good at... that quality and style are innate, and that anything you write should instantly be publishable. And that's just not how writing works...

Writing is an art and a craft. And like any other art and craft, most people don't sit down to do it for the first time or the tenth time or even the thirtieth time and find they've mastered it. If you take up baking, you're probably not going to have artisan bakery quality products after a few months. If you decide to learn the guitar, you're probably not recording an acoustic guitar album after a year. If you decide to learn karate, you're probably not going to earn your black belt within two years. Are there exceptions? Sure, but it's super rare.

Even when you hear that an author "hadn't written much" prior to writing their breakout debut novel, most of the time you find out that, in fact, they had written a lot. They wrote in college... maybe even have a degree in English or communications... they took creative writing classes or attended creative writing workshops... or they were prolific fan-fiction writers, bloggers, journalers, or even journalists. But they don't think to count those things because they're not original creative fiction stories or novels written with the intention of publication. But the thing is, it all counts. All writing is practice. And all writing that is shared and receives feedback from at least one other person helps you grow and improve your craft.

So, if you're new to creative writing--even if you have experience as a blogger, journalist, communications writer, etc.--the best thing you can do is focus on getting a body of creative fiction under your belt. Your quality and style will improve and develop over time. When you're ready, seek feedback from others... from alpha readers, beta readers, critique groups, critique partners, or post your stories on fiction sharing sites. Feedback will help you see where your strengths and weaknesses are and will help you hone your skills. And as your skills improve, so will your confidence! Which isn't to say you won't still sometimes have doubts... even the very best writers do... but you will learn to believe in your writing and your skills as a writer. ♥

(↓↓↓ Because it's expected at this point... ↓↓↓)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[akajustmerry]

Ooooooo the idea of you writing a romance novel is really cool, I love all of your articles and your writing style in non fiction! Do you have any short stories or anything published I'd love to read some of you do :D

omg thank you 🥰 i have two short stories published in anthologies (linked below) ! my story, 'ALT-DREAM' about a dying woman (who is gay and in love btw) who gets access to a streaming service that shows the alternate realities of her life - is published in Unlimited Futures. Also, my story, 'When From', about a not-too-distant future where time travel is used by film studios was published in This All Come Back Now. They're both brilliant and world-first anthologies exclusively featuring Aboriginal and other Black authors who love sci-fi and speculative fiction. you can probably find them at the library! or If you're up to buying it, you'd be supporting me AND other Blak/Black authors AND getting a tonne of great stories to read <3

[fayrinferno]

The Escaflowne Movie CD Dramas

Time to share some thoughts about the CD dramas I recently posted (one, two). There’s so many topics I will just make a few sections. This is insanely long and... just insane again. So I'm putting a cut right here.

First of all, this was such a different translation project than I’m used to! Meaning, it was spoken word instead of written and there was no official transcription. That is the difference between these two movie dramas and the series drama (Thought of Jeture). ToJ had the whole script in the booklet, so that would make the translation MUCH easier. The only thing we have for these are the summaries in the movie Newtype Artbook. Anyway, it was a fight but I’m pretty confident with this translation.

Speaking of booklets, sorry about the quality of the pictures/scans. For some reason, these booklets are really deteriorating, dunno if anyone who has the same CDs can confirm, but they are yellowing pretty badly and what is worse, in an irregular way where one page is totally different color from the other. I don’t think the environment I store it in is too bad, there’s not a problem with humidity or anything and most of the other materials are fine but ofc, I can’t speak for the previous owner. Or it’s simply a feature. The booklets are printed on some textured, off-white (possibly recycled?) paper in the first place, so they were never white, but then there’s the yellowing. I tried to fix it a bit in Photoshop but when it’s irregular AND in color, my editing skills come short. BTW, I had a similar problem when I scanned Escabible, I just gave up and made it B&W cause the print was originally green on pages that yellowed with time. Anyway, these cd drama booklets have sparse contents compared to some others (there are only the song lyrics and credits and some non-specific artwork), so I included the scans more or less informatively.

Finally, to the contents. This is definitely more complementary to the movie than the novel which takes some different paths. I believe this one was made so that it doesn’t contradict anything in the movie, although some things leave you guessing. We’ll get to them later. Which may be one of the reasons why it's kind of hard to be in the drama setting and not to feel like “this is just another Escaflowne AU” but realize it is an actual prequel/prologue to the movie. It has all the scenes that you would have in yet another Escaflowne retelling, such as:

sketch of Hitomi’s relationship with Yukari

Hitomi’s suddenly getting isekai’d and realizing it by observing Earth from Gaea

Hitomi meeting Van under dramatic circumstances (though I must say this is probably their most civil first encounter, there’s practically no fighting!)

meeting with other characters like Allen and Millerna (the Van and Allen fight is practically a copy of the movie fight… even bears resemblance to their first series encounter)

introduction to other characters like Folken, Dryden, and Dilandau

I get it, I get it. This was a case of amnesia in the end. But we are just more used to AUs in this fandom, haha. I also get you would want cameos to every character with a semblance of a fandom in a new franchise material. But I can’t shake the feeling they weren’t trying all that hard to tie things into the movie perfectly, although the cd drama is described as its prequel.

For clarity, I still consider the cd dramas and the movies the same universe and the things that happened in the drama as canon for the movie. There is also the movie novel, which I will publish in the future, but that one is another beast and I wouldn’t necessarily say things that are true there are some secret lore for the movie that was just never mentioned. It’s more up to the decision of the reader whether you accept them into your movie headcanon (because some of the novel lore contradicts the movie so how much can you believe the rest of it?) The multiverse is quite insane already but yes, this happens, with other titles as well.

BTW, it is neat they included Dornkirk’s seiyuu in the voice of Orm. This is a pretty mysterious character but he fulfills the role of the deus ex machina for the whole thing, never to be mentioned again in the actual movie. It is through him we learn more about Folken and Van, which would otherwise have to be spoken about by themselves in a voice drama/movie, and yeah, we all know the odds of that. Anyway, he is not human. He is not Dragon Clan, because that’s people like Van and Folken. And yet, he changes into a dragon. Is he actually a dragon god? One of the two who created Gaea? I guess not if it’s the two princes who decide the fate of Gaea instead of him. Perhaps he lost his power or there were lesser dragon gods? Or he’s not a dragon at all; it’s just sorcery of some sort. He says he’s just a sorcerer, after all. But he looks like a goblin. It took me a while to realize and you may not remember either, but the movie also has madoushi or sorcerers, except they don't look exactly human.

Rather, they resemble the series Ispano and their work with on Alseides confirms this. So now I believe this Orm could possibly be one of these guys (maybe before whatever it is that got done to them?) and he shows his true form to Hitomi. And when you think of it, much like Ispano, Orm acts as a sort of “insurance” against world destruction. The topics just keep recurring it seems.

Anyway, I just made some notes about these cd dramas and grouped them according to the topic.

Physical descriptions of the characters

If you introduce a character in an audio drama like this, you have to introduce them through the narrator’s voice, similarly to a book. That’s why Hitomi has to spend more time describing Orm’s shiny eyes, protruding teeth, etc. than she does with the known characters with a known design, who, all with the exception of Van, get just about one sentence. She spends some more time describing Van and although she observes how “beautiful the two look in their fight” (I had to make a note of that), she never spares a second thought to Allen, or any of the other handsome men she sees. No more love triangles, the soulmate game here is too strong! 

Anyway, in this material, Hitomi describes Van’s eyes twice with a word that literally means “see-through”. It felt odd but it is apparently a set expression, unless they tried to involve some double meaning. It’s apparently a synonym of clear/shiny/sparkly/pure/beautiful eyes… you can buy contact lenses that promise to do this for you in Japan lol. I translated the novel as well and there are more strange descriptions of his eyes in there, maybe that’s why it felt so significant. There is also a bit of a difference compared to the series materials, where they would just describe the color in a way you would describe a specific shade of blue or any other color. In any case, however literally or not they meant this, Van has pretty eyes, as we already knew. It was also funny when Millerna described him as cute and connected it to whether he would want to join Abaharaki. Like a cute face was a prerequisite or something lol. But she’s probably on about him being too tsun despite the face.

Another thing we discussed during editing was this “sign of the king” that was shown already at the time of Van’s birth… and wasn’t at the time of Folken’s. At first, I thought very simplistically that it may have something to do with the tattoos (or would they be markings then)? But that doesn’t seem to be the case and they are confirmed to be tattoos for the novel, although it doesn’t seem anyone else from the Dragon Clan would have them there. In the movie, on the contrary, young Dune and even Van’s mother are shown to have them as well, so the meaning of them could have been different. Back to the “sign of the king,” I returned to that part of the translation later and it seems it was something that the seers saw in their prophecies after all. Some symbol of the dragon king that was not specified. Sidenote, I pitied and blamed Dune’s mother at the same time. Poor guy.

This got all about Van again but I don’t think anyone else was given enough description to even discuss? It’s clearly obvious who Hitomi’s love interest is. I would say it makes it clearer than the movie itself, because it has these inner monologues and it’s pretty romantic already despite the two barely knowing each other. I would even say Van’s behavior is gentler than any other iteration (?) But when you think of it, the cd dramas are usually THE fanservice materials, aren’t they? So obviously, they would give most attention to the popular characters and ships… but let’s get to the more pragmatic stuff.

When do the Prologues take place?

The two prologues obviously happen before the movie but how long before that? Let’s check some placeholders and see what we can figure out.

“the winter of my sixteenth year” “not even a spring break yet” “soon, you’ll be a third year”

High school in Japan is three years with the school year starting in spring. So I believe this is happening at the end of Hitomi’s second year. Her age of 16 fits. In the movie materials, her age is described as 17, so somewhere between the two, she also has her birthday. Could it be in December, same as in the series? That would make the window for the drama very narrow, because it’s winter but not yet 9th of December. We can't probably take that date as a reference, anyway.

“is the way to the Mystic Moon closed now?” “yes, for now. But once the moon is full again…”

This is something Folken and Sora speak about in cd 1 when Van deflects Orm. But then it is Van who reaches out to Hitomi first before they can do as they plan. At the end of cd 2, Folken asks Sora to open the path again so I assume these conditions still apply. Then the movie may be one or several months after the events of the cd drama, since they need the full moon. Well, if the Moon works and time passes the same on both planets…

I believe this takes place in a range of one to few more months before the movie. Why? Folken asks Sora if the way to the Mystic Moon is closed. And Sora says, it is, "but once the Moon is full again..." Unclear which moon, but we could assume their moon, the one with the eye. Looks similar to our moon, and if it was the same, it would have been one month. But then, the movie is definitely not taking place in the winter, like this drama. So, when is it?

Let’s look at the placeholders from the movie directly. First thing we have is Hitomi’s watch, which says, SA 18th, 16:15:28. Normally, SA would stand for Saturday, the screen of her watch (or the information on it) even looks pretty similar to existing models of Casio Chronograph/Illuminator:

You may wonder why she would be at school on Saturday afternoon but it was normal at the time of the movie production, Japanese students only had Sundays off. They talk about some plans next day on the train right after the rooftop scene and Hitomi asks Yukari to give her a wake-up call in the morning, which would fit. You see them having a bit of fun and it doesn’t seem the next day yet, they are still in their uniforms. Later at the stairs (although it is not in the subs I had), Yukari says they will see each other at school tomorrow. But shouldn’t it be Sunday next day? Or is what we see already the next day, the thing they made plans for? But why not dress casually, then? And aren't they on the train to/in Tokyo already when they discuss this? I guess this theory is not too likely, then.

It’s actually baffling. Because the scenes also do not follow in a linear way; you see them on the train, there is a shot of Hitomi at the stadium already, then they walk around Harajuku/Omotesando, and back on the train where they are held-off because of an accident at Yoyogi. Yoyogi station is on Yamanote line, the circular line going around Tokyo. That station, Harajuku, Omotesando, Meiji Jingu, National Stadium… it’s all in the same wide area but maybe it’s a bit too much for walking, unless they had a lot of time. I mean it would take them almost two hours just to get to that athletics stadium if they left their school right after the roof scene at 4 pm (according to her jersey, the school is still in Kamakura). But they don’t even have their school bags, Yukari just has a small shopping/gift bag it seems. Did they put them in a coin locker on the station or something? In the novel, they just run away from school (or rather, from an angry teacher), so that would make sense with the bags if they at least had some money on them but it seems too late in the day to do that. But I guess it’s still the best explanation. The sun sets around 7 pm at that time of the year in Tokyo. But that still doesn’t explain why Yukari says “see you at school tomorrow” when it should be the weekend. If she meant cram school, guess she would say that and not school. Maybe there’s something I’m missing that puts it all together. Or they are doing this on purpose. EDIT: I just reread this for possible typos and it came to my mind that the plans Yukari and Hitomi have could be for Sunday AND at school. Yukari says, "you promised, remember?" which made me feel like she was worried Hitomi would just cancel but it may actually be something of a favor to Yukari? IDK, for example, helping her cleaning the club room or something? She DOES use "kureru" which means that she hopes Hitomi will do this "for her". That's a thought...

Anyway, I researched the watch a bit and if the display was really like a digital Casio Chronograph, we wouldn’t know the month from looking at the screen (some models have the full date but this type, only the day of the month). But what can we guess about the month from the movie itself? It's not full-blown spring, otherwise we would see at least one blooming sakura tree, I guarantee it. In similar vein, if it was the height of summer, there would be sound of cicadas (June to September). Late spring/early summer or early autumn is my best bet based on the greenery we see, plus Hitomi and Yukari wearing the summer uniforms (the school uniform would have a version for cold and hot days) and people wearing tshirts and summer dresses in Tokyo. Then it would be about half a year after the cd drama.

But here’s a crazy thing: Hitomi’s watch is shown once again on Gaea and it has SA 19th 17:05 on it. It is the next day compared to the roof scene where it's 18th but also it's still SA… This confused me so much I even checked the settei but I didn't learn much besides that it's her favorite watch and the pattern you see above the screen is an image of an angel that can be backlit in the dark and that she only checks the time once while on Gaea. The settei uses the time from the roof scene btw.

So does the SA stand for month after all? SA for sangatsu (March)? It doesn’t look like March in the scenes with Yukari, I mean, March is the graduation month, remember? Sakuras would be everywhere and they would wear jackets. Could it be then they simply forgot to change SA to SU? That would be the smoothest explanation in fact. Or is there some significance to this? Something something her watch has stopped like that time at the Tokyo Station when she was a child? Anyway, let’s recap the options, since, as usual with the franchise, there is a hole in each and every one of them:

If the roof is on Saturday 18th and the stadium are the same day, then next day we see her watch on Gaea and it’s “SA” 19th… then where did they leave their school bags and why is Yukari telling Hitomi she’ll meet her tomorrow at school if it should be a day off?

If the roof is on Saturday 18th and the stadium on Sunday 19th evening… then why are they wearing school uniforms on Sunday and why are they on a train to Tokyo on Saturday and why should her watch show the “SA” 19th 5 pm after she came to Gaea and slept for some time at the caravan?

If SA is not for Saturday but for the month of March and the roof scene could be any weekday… then why is her watch different from regular Japanese digital watches and why doesn’t it look at all like March outside?

And if SA is neither for Saturday nor sangatsu... then WHAT? I think it could be a subtle “Stop Asking” by the creators, lol.

Or, you know what, her watch did not take the interplanetary travel and the liquid in Escaflowne cockpit too well and broke. That’s my best explanation offer I guess (besides an animation error).

Why does Van not remember Hitomi in the movie if he has already met her?

I consider this the elephant in the room: okay, Hitomi went to Gaea before but Orm used his magic to bring her back and make her forget. But what about everyone else who met her, back on Gaea? Which would be Van, Allen, Millerna, Gaddes, Jajuka, Sora, and Folken? I believe some of their reactions in the movie, but especially Van’s in the beginning, confirm that they don’t remember that encounter.

But how can you erase someone from several people’s memories at once? Even if you erase the memory of her, her actions on Gaea leave some impact… Folken literally swears to bring her back again and he does in the movie. Moreover, in the cd drama, the location of Escaflowne is revealed to Folken through Hitomi’s ancient memories (as Sora spies on her telepathically). The first scene of the movie has Van stealing the armor from Black Dragon Clan’s ship. I believe this ties nicely to the “Escaflowne is discovered underneath Torushina” from the ending of the cd drama. Basically, some time has passed, and BDC dug out Escaflowne, now transporting it to Folken. Meanwhile, Folken is trying to summon Hitomi back because with her and Escaflowne, he apparently has all the ingredients for his plan.

When it comes to Abaharaki, apparently, the cd drama gives us a scene of their first meeting with Van. So, it has not been all that long that he was with the Abaharaki. But since he is with them in the movie, this event from the cd drama is also something that did not get reversed by Orm sending Hitomi back. It’s hard to wrap one’s head around. Allen, Millerna, and Gaddes come across Hitomi and Van because they were apparently in the vicinity and “saw a light”. This is all happening in a “holy land” that bears the name of Arzas, btw.

But if Van wasn’t summoning the Wing Goddess, why would he even go there? Why would Allen come check if there was no light from her arrival from Earth? Of course, the meeting of Van and Abaharaki might have happened anyway, by pure chance. After all, Merle in the movie says they “met on the battlefield”. For the Abaharaki, they “could not take a better look” at Hitomi before she was snatched away by Jajuka and they’ve never seen her again in the drama. So I guess their movie reactions would be plausible even if they did remember Hitomi’s first arrival in the cd drama. But Van is just a big question mark and either their meeting “never happened” or his memory got erased.

So Orm changed into a dragon and took Hitomi, her memories, and apparently Van’s memories away. Then what, was Van just left standing there, wondering what happened and why he even went out there? How about Merle, who went with him to rescue Hitomi? She would remember that the Wing Goddess was there, wouldn’t she? Even though she hasn’t seen her in the cd drama. This adds Merle to Allen, Millerna, Gaddes, and Mole, who form a group of characters who knew of the Wing Goddess coming to Gaea but wouldn’t know her face.

Then we have another group formed by Van, Folken, Sora, Jajuka, who had also seen her. Out of all these, Van is the only one who is confirmed to have forgotten. Others may as well remember everything, because they go retrieve Escaflowne and eventually Hitomi. Interesting. So I guess the first group may remember her arrival, they just don’t know how she looks. The second group, minus Van, could know everything. Van was apparently made to forget by some effect of Orm’s sorcery. Either he forgot her face or their whole encounter. That, or it never happened.

Another variation is, only Folken and Sora remember Hitomi. I guess that would make some sense, since Sora seems to be the one ‘in the know’ about everything, together with Orm, and to some extent, Folken. Then again, Van is a pretty strong magic user himself as we discover, so why would Folken and Sora be able resist Orm’s magic and not him?

I guess this could be explained by Orm’s final scene, where he sounds pretty mad at Van. Which is interesting. He’s not cross with Folken who wants to destroy the world, he’s angry with Van cause he is using Hitomi as a tool for his revenge which will just cause her more sorrow. So, does he in fact only seal her away from Van or erase only his memories? Because Van is not ready to lift Hitomi’s spirits and ease her loneliness? It seems Orm puts some hopes of saving the world into Van and is disappointed that he doesn’t realize what he needs to do. Then again, how would sealing Van away and leaving the path open for Folken help? Perhaps Orm meant to seal her away from both brothers but Sora overcame that magic? It’s frustrating that they just won’t.let.us.know.

But I believe Van having no memory of their encounter could be why (besides the obvious resonance of their depressed souls) Folken is the one to bring Hitomi to Gaea in the movie. Van isn’t even trying to reach her anymore like he does in the cd drama, it seems he is 100% focused on obtaining Escaflowne. Which I guess was his mindset in the first place even as he, on his own volition, went out and whisked Hitomi away from Earth, which coincidentally made for a pretty romantic scene but you can still see he’s all about obtaining the armor. I mean it is logical, once he knows BDC has Escaflowne, it means everything to take it out of their hands. It is also sort of parallel to the series when he asks her pragmatically and logically to help him against Zaibach without considering her feelings.

But really, nothing like, “You’re the Wing Goddess? Few months back, I tried to summon you from the holy land of Arzas, using all the magic taught to me by the beast clan but you left me on Read?” Ahh yes that would be uncharacteristic to disclose by this particular character, I get it.

So what do you think? Did Orm make him forget or did he revert Hitomi’s whole first visit to Gaea?

“Ancient Gaea”

What is also pretty blurry is this whole “Wing Goddess lived on ancient Gaea and she met Van then… but she has forgotten.”

Okay, what do we know of this “ancient Gaea”? We know the Wing Goddess as well as “Van” in some form lived there and then. And they were “alike” in some way. Orm calls them “twins” or “gemini” which I do get may sound problematic (I translated it as “two of the same kind” in the end) but I don’t think he means they are related. Also, “dragons” lived on this Gaea. I don’t know, as I listened to this part with the series soundtrack in the bg, I suddenly got the feeling like they talked about the series. Which makes not much sense of course. There is no proof of that. Movie Escaflowne is different, the series one didn’t destroy the world… it doesn’t work. But I still got a nostalgic feeling like that.

Then the last thing we know is Escaflowne actually destroyed some major city… I guess, likely in battle with the movie Alseides, they just laid ruin to this ancient Gaea civilization, whatever it was. In this battle it seems, Escaflowne could have been buried by rubble of what could have been the predecessor of Torushina, which itself could have been gradually built upon the ancient city ruins. That’s all we know. Anyway, I kinda hate when Sora teases like “could we bring back the ancient memories of the Wing Goddess?” Don’t give us hope if you’re never, ever gonna deliver, dammit. Maybe I should deliver in fic form haha (no I will not start another project).

Random thoughts after watching the movie after having translated the drama

Now that I think of it, the movie actively avoids any direct reference to the events of the cd drama. But after giving a proper attention to the CD drama, you see echoes of it in the movie, echoes of Hitomi remembering on some level after all. Like, when they are frolicking with Yukari, and she hears Sora’s song… she immediately understands someone is calling. It’s not “I hear a song nobody else seems to hear” anymore, it’s her immediately understanding that Yukari doesn’t hear it and that she’s being called.

BTW, what I humbly believe the movie subs/dubs could have done a little better was the scene with Yukari at the stadium. Hitomi tells Yukari she’s annoying for meddling in her life. She says “annoying” and “just disappear” repeatedly and there is this transition from when it seems like she’s really calling Yukari  “annoying” and muttering she should “go away” to when you understand that she is talking about herself. Hitomi is the “bad guy” and she’s the one who should “disappear”. If you use “fade away” it doesn’t click so much because you don’t tell another person to “fade away”.

Also, in cd 1, when Hitomi sees Van for the first time and the dragon fossil in the face of the mountain. I got this weird feeling it could be Van just before he takes off to kill everyone on the Black Dragon Ship and steal Escaflowne in the very first movie scene. Because yes, we see the mountain with the dragon fossil in that movie scene (presumably one of the twin gods Van prays to), he prays for the death of his enemies (that he does massacre in the movie opening scene), even the music is the same... because Bird song is the first part of First Vision, the OST for the first scene of the movie.

Or perhaps, for Hitomi's “first vision”, and it refers to this scene from the drama? Of course, nothing gets confirmed here either. Anyway, if she sees Van in real time, what would he be doing at the time she’s under Orm’s spell on the train? Well, apparently, he is aware of Orm’s actions, and with support of the elders from the wolf village, he is trying to intercept him. Which he does later, in the cave. But would his preparation for that be this? Wishing death upon his enemies with the sword drawn and then flying off… idk, it fits the movie scene better.

This post got really speculative so I’ll just stop here but I think I’ll make one or two other posts. One will just have the movie trivia without as much of my speculation. Another will be a bit critical because while I like Escaflowne in all its forms, I did get a bit frustrated here and I should let it out.

[falloutjuli]

After a long debate with myself slelf I gave up and said “Fuck it, we publishing this now”. I felt like something was missing but I cannot for the life of me find out what. Anyways, Im hella down for a potential second part, so lemme know if yall would be interested in it, I‘d make the reader afab in that one tho.

Btw unless specified, I normally try to keep the reader gender neutral.

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NSFW Johnny x Reader - Talk dirty to me

Wordcount: roughly 2.2k

Short summary: Johnny discovers some mosquito bites on his companion and they get talking about some naughty stuff.

Warnings: Masturbation, Blowjob, Johnnys bug bite fetish, dirty talking, reader really likes some jockey from Kentucky (whoever that may be lmao)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

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A book, campfire, a starry night sky, and two good friends. What more could one ask for? You certainly couldn't as you were comfortably laying down on your sleeping bag, skimming the pages of the book you picked up in the last town. It was just a little something to keep you busy during breaks.

"Whatcha readin'?" Johnny asked next to you, leaning over a little. You were laying on your stomach, not bothering to look over. "Romance novel. It's quite crappy though." You replied and Gyro let out his signature Nyo-ho-ho.

"Romance? Never took you for that kind of person." He said and sat down on his sleeping place. "I do not actually read it normally; I just took whatever I found in the store. But man, it's so bad. I feel sorry for anyone who got this with the genuine intention of enjoying it." You replied and closed the book. You'd make sure to grab a new one in the next town.

Gyro and Johnny just laughed before falling into a casual conversation that you just listened to. It was a nice relaxing Time in-between the heated race where you had to focus 100%. You sat up to get rid of your coat. It was more than warm enough, especially with the fire nearby, so you tossed it aside before laying back down. Your head found place on your crossed arms to rest and relax as you thought about which paths to take tomorrow.

Gyro and Johnny had stopped talking and silence lingered around the little camp. Your eyes looked up and saw Gyro laying down too, his signature hat placed onto his face. Looking over to you right you saw Johnny staring intensely at you, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"Johnny?" Once he heard his name spoken, he prayed his eyes away. "Yeah?" "Why were you staring at me?" Johnny hesitated, his head looking from left to right. "Eh, you got a mosquito bite." He pointed out, his finger pointing at your arm. You turned to have a look at it and sure enough, four bites, varying in sizes. "Ah shit, they got me through the coat." You cursed, not knowing which effect these insignificant bites had on your blond friend.

He coughed, still looking incredibly flustered. You laid your head back down on your arms, enjoying the rest and not paying much attention to Johnny's weird behavior. You only noticed something was off when his eyes constantly went to your arm throughout the next half an hour.

He didn't know you watched him through your hair that nicely covered your face. Was it maybe worry, that you might have gotten an infection? Mosquitos did carry diseases so it could explain his weird behavior. But that theory was out of the window when he hesitantly extended his arm to have his fingers brush over the bites. As soon as his fingers touched your skin, you felt incredibly hot, unsure what to do.

His expression seemed pained almost, as he was biting his lip, his eyes squinting. "Johnny?" You called out, feeling a little weirded out as you weren't sure how to interpret his doing. Never in your life have you seen someone turn around so fast, desperately trying to pretend that didn't happen.

"Johnny, I know you're awake."

"I'm not."

"Sure." You replied sarcastically and waited but he wasn't going to explain himself. You came closer, poking him in his side.

"Johnnnyyy. Explain yourself. I'm not mad or anything, I just wanna know whyyy." You whined, your poking continuing before he grabbed your hand and shushed you. He arched his back, checking on Gyro who was still soundly sleeping, not noticing the commotion.

"Okay. But don't tell any soul! I will shoot you if you dare to tell anyone!" He threatened, aiming his finger at you. "Promise." You said and sat cross legged. Johnny propped himself up with his arms, his face looking away as he hesitantly spoke.

"Well I... This is really embarrassing but... I have a bug bite fetish." You blinked a couple of times. "A. what." "B-Bug bite fetish." You nodded slowly, trying to process.

"So you find my mosquito bites hot?" Johnny let himself fall back onto his back, his hands coming up to cover his face. "Shut up." He said, as you chuckled slightly. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone got their fantasies or fetishes." "Even you?" He moved his hands slightly to peer at you from under his beanie he had pulled down.

"Like I said everyone. I bet even Gyro does." You laughed and looked over to the Italian man.

"T-then tell me one of yours! That'd only make it fair!" You waited for a moment, pretending to think about it while scratching your chin. "Mhm, fine, for fairness after all." You shrugged, making Johnny finally remove his hands from his flustered face.

"I have this fantasy about riding." Johnny looked at you dumbfounded. "Riding? You mean as in horse riding?" You shook your head. Scooting even closer to him, you leaned down to his face. Your breath tickled his ear, which made the blond shudder.

"No, I really wanna ride this one genius jockey from Kentucky." Johnny’s eyes widened, he swallowed harshly, trying to get rid of the sudden feeling of suffocating from embarrassment.

"Do you?" He finally spoke, hearing you chuckle as soon as he said that. "Yeah. I wanna see his face as I show him I don't only ride horses. I wanna hear him say my name as I choke on his dick. I wanna show him what I can give him, shower him in praise as he marks me as his. God I really have a thing for that man." With that you drew back, looking at him.

His face was covered in a huge blush, his fingers fiddled with one another on his chest, the effect your words had clearly visible by the way his pants bulged. "Night Johnny!" You happily declared, content with your work, getting back on your bag to lay down and rest, a big smile stretched across your face.

"H-Hey!" He called out desperately, almost too loud before he remembered he wouldn't want Gyro to wake up to this. "You can't just go to sleep now!" His hand shook your shoulder as your back was facing towards him. The way he reacted to all of this had you giddy.

"I can't? I thought we were just talking about fantasies! And I told you mine, so it's all said and done." You toyed with him, growing amused by how desperate he was to get a reaction from you. "Aw Darlin', come on, don't leave me hanging like that!" You bit your lip. Damn, that accent had you weak. That damn jockey from Kentucky.

"Well... I guess it'd be rude to get you all worked up like that. But i will need something from ya." Johnny stared at you impatiently, only wanting to hear your demand.

"Beg." You stated dryly, smirking when he shyly looked away trying to hide his reddening face.

"Please. Please help me get some relieve." You laughed and presented him the bitten shoulder. You looked at him through half lidded eyes as you spoke. "You sound pretty like that. I might need that incorporated in my own fantasies." "How dirty." "Rich coming from the guy begging." You got him there.

Johnny knew it was better to not get too snarky otherwise you could easily decide to not help him anymore, so he pushed his sassy side aside to play by your rules. "Why don't you tell me more about that Kentucky guy thing?" He asked as his hand wandered down into his pants.

"Oh him?" You made sure to get seated between his legs as you continued. "Well... He's just the prettiest guy ever. Man, those strong arms make you wish he uses them on you. I mean God, I wanna be pinned by him." Johnny’s breath staggered, and you looked down to his lower half to see his hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it.

"And you wanna ride him?" You nodded, enjoying the image of said scenario. You kept your eyes closed as you continued talking. "I once saw a good bit of his torso while he changed shirt. Wow. That's when I first had that thought. I just wanna show him how good I can make him feel, ride him until he begs me to stop." Johnny leaned forward, his forehead resting on your shoulder and his heavy, irregular breath hit your skin, giving you goosebumps.

"You think he would do that?" He asked. "Potentially? I mean you can never know. I always try to imagine what face he will make when he cums. How it'd feel if his hands grip into my skin, leaving marks. I sometimes wonder if he'd mark me."

"I bet he would." Johnny answered, his answer barley a whisper mixed with soft moans as his hand keeps working on himself. It felt so special that he played along to your little game. "Oh, to be his. Sometimes when I'm on the road with him, I only think about him in dirty ways. I'm a hopeless case." Johnny’s tongue flicked over your shoulder, giving the bites a careful lick. He could feel you shudder.

"Wow darlin' you sure got a dirty mind." You wanted to snarkily reply so badly, but you much rather listened to his breathless whispers against your skin. "To know you so shamelessly think about that guy all day long..." You nodded absentmindedly. Slowly you turned your head to him, waiting until he lifted his head to look at you too. The image of his lust filled eyes, the flustered expression and his dick in his hand was now forever engraved in your brain.

"If Gyro wasn't so close by... The...the Things I would do to you... They'd make even him blush." "Same here." He replied before biting his lips. He imagined those things and it felt suddenly even harder to control himself.

"What would you do?" You questioned. "I'd already have you on me, fulfilling what you were fantasizing about. I want you to scream my name." "For you I'd do anything." A sort of starring contest broke out between you too as you only looked at one another with hungry eyes. Damned be Gyro.

At last, you made the move to slowly get down, trying to not break eye contact while doing so. Carefully you shooed his hand away from his cock to replace it with yours. As soon as you did you could notice that Johnny's breath hitched, making you smirk. With great anticipation, Johnny watched you dragging your tongue from bottom to top before a chunk of his dick disappeared in your mouth.

The blond threw his head back, a moan escaping his lips before he quickly pressed his hand upon it to keep quiet. His reactions only motivated you more, making sure to put extra care in everything you did. Your tongue swirled around his tip when you weren't busy seeing how deep you could take him in.

Seemingly pleased with your efforts the hand that previously kept his mouth shut now found its way into your hair, gripping it from time to time while you worked away on him. It didn't take long until you could tell by his breath, whimpers and suppressed moans that he was getting close.

Determined to end with a bang you bobbed your head up and down a few more times before taking in as much as you could with a hum. The sensation of it and the sight was too much for Johnny to handle and so he came deep in your throat.

You patiently let him ride it out, giving him one final lick to clean him up, before getting up, letting him watch you swallow his cum.

The confident smile that adorned your lips was now forever stuck in his mind. With the back of your hand, you wiped away any leftover saliva around your mouth before getting up to get your water canteen.

Johnny was left behind still feeling high on life before he too quickly fixed himself up. A bit of awkwardness lingered in the air now that the deed was done. Johnny awkwardly got back to his sleeping bag to lay there staring at the sky and you soon did the same.

You twiddled with your thumbs, all confidence from before gone now. The silence was only broken when Johnny decided to break it.

"Hey Y/N?" You hummed, signaling for him to continue. "How about at the end of the stage, when we stay at the hotel, we take a break from Gyro?"

"To do what?" A moment passed before he answered.

"For you to show that Kentucky guy your riding skills?" You had to smile, a chuckle even escaping you.

"Sounds good to me."

The awkwardness drifted away to be replaced by comfort and warmth. You two went from looking at the stars to looking at each other. You adored the way his blond hair fell around his face, framing it perfectly and pretty blue eyes that looked at you. That damn Kentucky guy would now even more dominate your thoughts, especially since you still had a good bit of way to cover until the stages end. Damned be Johnny.

[lord-aldhelm]

Twenty Questions For Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @whitedarkmoonflower and @foxyanon!!!

1. how many works do you have on AO3? One 🫣 Although I am working on two more right now, and have a third in the pipeline somewhere. My problem is that I cannot just write a short fic, it has to be a novel lol

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 115,429 (this is all one fic btw)

3. what fandoms do you write for? The Last Kingdom!

4. top five fics by kudos: I only have the one, so ... lol

5. do you respond to comments? YES!!! I LOVE comments and will always reply!!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have not written a fic with an angsty ending and I don't really plan to, since I prefer happy endings.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? My one and only fic Springtime in Saltwic lmao!!

8. do you get hate on fics? No, I haven't so far and I hope I never do!

9. do you write smut? Not really? Not exclusively. If it works in the confines of the story I will include a spicy chapter but it is not the main focus.

10. craziest crossover? Never written a crossover. Don't really have plans to.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I am aware, but I know a few of my readers were from other countries and they may have used a translation service to read it themselves. But not like a published translation, no.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? No I haven't but it would be something I am up for!

14. all time favorite ship? I mean... Aldhelm x Aethelflaed obv

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? No I think I will finish them all eventually. The issue is I am a very slow writer and I write novel-length fics so it takes me a while to publish.

16. what are your writing strengths? Introspection, feelings, dialogue.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Including sensory descriptions in my scenes, chapter transitions, and smut.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? I don't do it simply because I feel it takes the reader out of the immersion, and if if is done too frequently I feel it can be cumbersome. But I try to include the original Old English place names, and some of the words they would have used for things.

19. first fandom you wrote in? The Last Kingdom

20. favorite fic you've written? LMAO I have only written one so far, so I guess that is my favorite!!

No pressure tags: @daethelflaed @gemini-mama @thelettersfromnoone @synintheraven@sihtricfedaraaahvicius

@thenameswinter99 @paula-in-dreamland @hardestysally

@poetic-fiasco @alexagirlie @sigtryggrswifey @itbmojojoejo

@garunsdottir @timetravelingpenguin1066 @bagheerita @solinarimoon

@king-alfred @arcielee @st-eve-barnes @holy3cake