#I have too much anxiety to try and be outside of my house and talk to new people thank you
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floral-hex · 10 months ago
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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seventh-district · 7 days ago
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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dragoninahumancostume · 3 months ago
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I get why the first results when I ask for mental health help is "talk to someone" but genuinely can you please allow me to fight through this on my own? Thank you very much. And if you dare to suggest meditation or exercise or change in my diet or socialize again I'll yeet you out the window :3
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myceliacrochet · 24 days ago
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URGENT: 4yo Little Girl and Her Family Malnutritioned and Freezing!! (Sham and Moneer al-Anqar -- Skills Series: "Easy Piece First")
Reblog if u answer pls tysm!🩷
There's no shame in that! In this series, I'll be sharing some tips to help us keep going strong, carrying these families throughout this brutal winter of extermination. With each post I'll be highlighting a family in desperate need.
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Easy Piece First
Whether we're working at a job, making commissions, working on posts, or doing other tasks, mutual aid for genocide relief can be overwhelming. The stakes are through the roof, and sometimes the people who most want to help are the people least able to. Often I freeze in place, overwhelmed with emotion, unsure of where to start. Depression, anxiety, and AuDHD don't help!
So I hope this skill is of use to you. I call it "Easy Piece First" because that's what helps me remember it, but it's definitely not a new idea.
I started this post with the easiest small step accessible. For me, that was writing down Moneer's current blog tag (@sham-moner) in a new post. This was the easiest for me because it required no decision-making and could be done in a few seconds. Then I filled in the other parts that don't take much thought -- the GoFundMe link, the vetting, and some tags.
For other posts, sometimes I'll be making art that is unrelated and then I'll think of a post to go with it.
Lazy and Heartless, or Focused and Strategic?
Everyone is different, but trying to force yourself to start with the hardest part first (what some people call the "Eat That Frog" approach) can actually make things take longer for some people. Using "Easy Piece First," I was able to get more done with my time, and with less trouble. This makes my efforts more sustainable long-term.
On a related note, I actually take a lot of measures to not walk around with my chest constantly hurting for Palestinians anymore (though there's nothing wrong with doing so). My chest was aching at all times for months until I converted some of my worry into action and some of it into self-care -- so I could actually get more done for Palestinians, who do not need my tears but my labor.
This winter is a marathon, and we gotta see it through to the end.
Take care of yourself so you can get more done and keep helping people long-term.
Do not give yourself a heart condition.
Give Palestinians labor.
That's how I'm keeping myself out of the hospital and maximizing what I can do for people, but we all have our own strategies.
But that's enough about us -- let's talk about these two amazing kids.
Moneer and Sham
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Palestinians are just regular people. That's the horrible reality. It's the exact same as if people from your own background, even your own family were getting tortured and killed.
Like, Moneer is a 19yo who had recently started university when the genocide began. Sham is 4, Mohammed is 16, Rana is 21, and Rasha is 22.
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What were you going through when you were 4? How would you have felt if you saw people getting blown up at that age? What if your house was blown up and all your toys and friends were lost, and you had to live outside in the winter, scrounging for moldy bread and polluted water?
What if you lived with the smell of rotting bodies when you were 4? Did you know what that smelled like as a little kid? I still don't know what that smells like. I didn't really know what death was at that age. She does.
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This small child is in critical need of food and water!!
She is starving!!
Sham will die this winter without more donations!!
This is a call to action for an extremely urgent campaign!!!
It's been 2 days, and it was 2 days before that! This is far too long!!
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Moneer is still recovering from major surgery. He is in a lot of pain and is also malnutritioned and in need of clean water and warmth.
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Moneer is very close to his family and dearly loves his mom, Amani (39). Amani is in a lot of danger because she has asthma in a dusty massacre zone without treatment. It's killing Moneer to watch his mom go through this.
Drink some water, take a rest, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, using whatever tools work for you.
We are not letting these kids and their family die this winter!! We can do this!!
Vetting: GazaVetters #8
@opencommunion @beserkerjewel @deepspaceboytoy @rhubarbspring @eryuditely @lesbianmaxevans @malcriada @turian @sxpph0 @rebel-girl-queen-of-my-world @neptunerings @dykesbat @halalgirlmeg @userpeggycarter @minosbull @hamstertross @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness-blog @definitelynotafox @kaleschmidt @jaylung101 @captainsaltymuyfancy2 @timetravellingkitty @sun-and-moon-side @kahin @greenmossyrock @northgazaupdates2 @irhabiya @theparanoid @steep1253o @victoriawhimsey @dirhwangdaseul @cruzwalters @ladycelebrianofimladris @tamamita @50seagullsinatrenchcoat @deathlonging @nconiku @briarhips @kaislittlecorner @mahoushojoe @sar-soor @rhubarbspring @pcktknife @sawasawako @feluka @anneemay-blog @ralfocups
P.S.: I have several people waiting on me for posts. I am so sorry -- I will get them finished and published as soon as possible.
@soft-sunbird Thank you dear friend🥰🩷 I love you. You're doing so great
Check out the comments for many ways to help!
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mini-mews · 4 months ago
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to the beat of your heart
enhypen lee heeseung x gn!reader
wc: 1.1k
summary: heeseung meets you outside after avoiding you at a house party, when you just happen to call him the wrong name that throws your whole relationship into question.
warnings: non-idol au, alcohol/drugs mention, heeseung is toxic, kinda situationship vibes- reader and heeseung's relationship is unclear, no happy ending
a/n: First off thank you so much to my lovely @inkchwe for beta reading and helping me edit. I want to turn this into a sort of series of toxic enhypen so please look forward to that!!
toxic love series masterlist ✰ heeseung ✰ jay ✰ jake ✰ sunghoon ✰ sunoo ✰ jungwon ✰ ni-ki
THIS DOES NOT REFLECT THE ARTIST'S BEHAVIOUR OR ACTIONS - THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION
✰࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✧࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✰
Loud music reverbs through your body as you try to stabilize your breathing. Tapping your foot against the patio, you wait for Heeseung to join you outside. It's been 10 minutes since you texted him, seeing him read and not respond feeding into your anxieties. A million thoughts a second come and go too soon, building onto an already nauseous feeling. Music seems to match your rapidly beating heart as it bleeds out from the house.
It was only after you saw him coming through the door, a girl wrapped around his arm that really made your heart sink. Heeseung turned back and gave her a sweet smile, saying something that you couldn’t quite make out before she lets go of him. She leans up to whisper in his ear, biting back a smile as he nods. 
He finally turns to you standing a few feet away, not before allowing his eyes to follow the girl swaying her hips as she walks back inside. You clench  your jaw as he walks up to you, a lazy smile playing on his lips, “What’s up sweetheart?” 
“Where have you been? I’ve been texting you for the past 10 minutes trying to find you. And I saw you leaving me on read…” Attempting to keep your voice stable, you meet his eyes. Heeseung gives a little shrug before pulling out his phone, “Oh yeah sorry, was catching up with some old friends, must not have heard it buzz.” Quickly dismissing you, he opens a chat and replying to someone else.
“It’s fine I guess, Hee. Can we get going? It’s already getting late and I have early classes tomorrow.” Suddenly his fingers stop typing, seemingly frozen as he stares at his phone. 
“Hee? Are you okay?” Stepping closer till your chests are almost pressed together, his eyes snap back to meet yours. 
“What did you call me?” 
Heeseung’s eyes are now boring into yours. His stare feels so intense you unconsciously sink into yourself a bit. “Uh I- I said your name?”
“You didn’t. You said something else. What did you say?” Heeseung’s voice comes out short and blunt.
He closes the distance, almost glaring down at you with how cold his eyes had become. The height difference had always been noticeable between you two but now it felt like he was towering over you, completely isolating you both from the rest of the world. The music buzzes into the background as your heart drums in your ears. 
“Hee? What’s wrong with you, I don’t unders—" "That's what's wrong, why are you calling me that?” 
The silence is deafening, suffocating. 
“What are you talking about? It’s your name! Am I suddenly not allowed to say your name? Seriously, I don’t know what's up with you, but I just want to leave, so can we—” 
“We?” Heeseung stares down his nose at you, eyebrows furrowed, “Listen you can go home if ya want, but I ain’t leavin’ yet. I got some friends waitin’ for me.” 
It must be the alcohol, that’s the only logical reason you can think of. Or maybe he took something? Heeseung was never known for his drug use, but maybe something happened tonight when you two got separated. “What’s going on with you? Did you take something?” Heeseung just stares down at you, eyebrows still furrowed. “What’s going on with you?” That question makes you stiffen up, his tone was ice cold as he looked through you. You had never felt so small in front of him. 
The few months you’ve gotten closer to Heeseung, he’s never been so cold with you. Always making an effort to be gentle towards you. It was one of the first things that drew your attention, Heeseung’s famously known ‘bambi eyes’. Eyes that held such comfort, now holding you down in place under his gaze. 
“Hee?” It was barely a whisper but something glazed over his eyes. “What makes you think you can call me that?” It feels like something snaps in you. Nothing's made sense this entire night. “I don’t understand what you mean! ‘Hee’ is your name!” Your chest aches as your throat constricts, emotions overwhelming your body.
Everything is whirling around too quickly, nothing is making sense. 
“I never said you could call me that. Why are you acting like you’re allowed to?” A cool breeze blows through you, the music from inside still pumps through your veins. “Are you being serious right now Heeseung?” 
His eyes widened for a second seemingly taken aback by your reaction. “I told you why are you—” “Told me what?! That I’m nothing to you!” Tears flood your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. It’s a misunderstanding.
“So all our time together was nothing? Everything we’ve said, done for each other, nothing. You can’t possibly be saying that.” Your breathing gets labored as he cuts you off. 
“I told you at the beginning of us that I don’t want anything serious, yet you were the one who didn’t listen. How is that on me?” 
It feels like a bucket of ice water was just dumped on your head. Goosebumps rise across your arms. Looking up at him trying to meet his eyes, Heeseung looks past you.
How could he say that so casually?
A choked sob escapes you as tears streak down your face, chest squeezing all the air out of your lungs. It sets a sense of emptiness in you. Nothing. You were nothing to him. All the time spent together, the quiet whispers of romantic feelings, intimate nights together. 
Nothing. 
Everything you gave for him, crumbling before you. 
He feels too awkward to look at you, drumming his fingers on his jeans waiting for something to happen, for you to say something. But it never comes. Heeseung never expected this reaction from you, he told you that he didn’t want anything serious, it's really not his fault if you caught feelings. 
Looking up as Heeseung stood stiffly in front of you, refusing to acknowledge you. 
Your chest rises and drops quickly, trying to calm your breathing. You will yourself to not let him see you cry over him. Whispering out, one last plea to him.  “Heeseung look at me, please” 
Heeseung looks down meeting your eyes, those soft bambi eyes looking back at you. Those eyes you fell so in love with, now causing the burn of regret and hatred within you. “You’re heartless Lee.” Your blunt tone catches him off-guard as you push past him, making your shoulders bump as you return to the party. You allow yourself to get lost in the drunk bodies dancing to the heartbeat of the booming music. Eyes slide shut as bodies surround you, the air heavy of smoke as the music drums on, leading your heart beat.
✰࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✧࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✰
i hope you enjoyed, please consider leaving a like/comment/reblog as any interaction is greatly appreciated and motivating! ©mini-mews
tags: @sweetvenomnet @inkchwe
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bumpkinbayouthief · 1 month ago
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🂱 › dating Remy LeBeau .
what is it like, dating the devilish cajun?
pairing : remy x reader warnings : tiny illuding to nsfw a/n : this is my first time writing this boy outside of rp context! decided to go more of the headcanons route, it is for the most part SFW. I also tried my best to keep it gn!reader as much as possible I plan to do a sfw & nsfw abc's to expand even more on what it is like dating the Ragin Cajun
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first off, Remy is quite the romantic, however, he also has an impulsive streak so when he asked you out, it’s safe to say it was pretty unplanned on his end
he asked you out in the mansion kitchen, slipping a playing card with the question into the pockets of your sweatpants while you stood making coffee.
and he had the biggest devilish grin on his face when you found him later that day and gave him the card back, writing a yes on the card
on top of being a romantic, Remy loves to cook so say goodbye to ever having to cook for yourself, unless you like cooking then he is happy to share the kitchen with you and make dinner with you
you also have to now get used to sharing a space with three cats. After all you did start dating a proud cat dad.
he’s extra protective on missions, even though he knows you can hold your own he’s always keeping an extra close eye on you while out in the field.
total doberman boyfriend material, all the traits of a golden retriever with the added “will fuck someone up if the need arises” energy
you guys go out together and his head is on a constant swivel while he holds your hand
Remy is also really good at handling panic and anxiety attacks. if you struggle with mental health he is always there to support and help you through it
he will also go out of his way to learn everything he can about the conditions you live with. you deal with OCD, guess who is spending hours reading up on it and talking to doctors about how he can help
he also will naturally want to move a lot faster with the relationship. he’s got a very all or nothing mindset to life however, he will easily adapt to your pace for the relationship, respecting and talking about boundaries. he may act like a little kid but he is pretty good with communication
except his past. he’s gonna take some time to open up about his time prior to joining the x-men. he’ll share everything about New Orleans with you but his childhood? oh that’s gonna take a while.
Remy also deals with nightmares, most of them revolve around his time under Apocalypse’s control as the horseman Death. Some are about his time with Sinister.
he’ll try his best to not wake you up whenever he has one, slipping out of bed quietly and walking around the house.
when you do notice or wake up to one, he won’t be too keen to tell you about the dream but he will accept the comfort. he’ll lay his head on your chest and let you soothe him back to sleep
and the same goes for you if you ever have a nightmare.
Remy's strongest love language is definitely physical touch, this boy cannot keep his hands to himself, whether it's holding your hand while walking together or having his hand on your thigh, inching up further and further, you are going to have a clingy boy on your hands
overall, you have a partner who will adore you like a devotee with his deity and will support you and protect you till his dying breath
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love , elizabeth
[ divider credit : @strangergraphics | banner image from A+X 006 ]
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furiousgoldfish · 2 months ago
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I've noticed the other day how life is fundamentally different when living out of abuse. I had an experience of waking up in the morning, sleepily tapping over to the kitchen in my pajamas, wondering what to make for breakfast, and making a plan for the day. Completely careless and unselfconscious, thinking only about the food and what I wanted to do with my day. It hit me then how impossible every aspect of this would be, had I still been living in the abuse.
If I was still around abusers, my first thought in the morning would not be 'oh I'm so sleepy I'm gonna find something to eat', it would be 'Are they in the house, are they in the room, are they already mad at me'. I would be looking around cautiously, listening for every sound that indicates they're near me. I would be checking the clock to see if their schedule had already put them in their workplace or wherever they go, and then still peering trough the doors anxiously to see if the hallway is clear, if I can get to the kitchen. I'd be checking how I look to see if I'll be reprimanded for being in the pajamas in the common area. I'd change just to avoid the possibility. I'd be checking each item of food and wondering if it's okay to take it, or whether there's a chance I'll get yelled at or blamed for taking it. I'd be analyzing the last words and actions we exchanged to try to predict how close the abuser is from blowing up and possibly attacking me.
The rest of my day would be scheduled around avoiding them, or alternatively, being in the place where they could easily find me, because if I'm not where I'm expected to be, they might get mad. All of my activities could be stopped and prevented at moment's notice if they decided I need to be doing something for them at that moment. I could be yelled at for not doing something for them sooner, for 'making them say it'.
If I wanted to go out, I'd have to consider if this is allowed, and if they'd want me to stay inside for one reason or another. If I am outside, I'd have to worry about what's going to happen to my stuff if I'm not back whenever they're expecting me to be there, or what kind of angry state I'd find them in. It would be safest to notify them of everything I'm doing, but they might immediately call it unnecessary, stupid, offensive or otherwise inconvenient, and force me to drop it and do something for them instead. Secrecy was the only way to do things, but also risky in case some part of it turns out to be not allowed. There were never any clear rules to what is okay, it would change with their moods.
If I could hear the abuser's car parking in the driveway, I would run back inside of my room, as if it was the 'safe area', when it wasn't. It would at least take me out of their view, so they wouldn't immediately think to start at me. But if they wanted to, they could just go inside of my room and charge at me then. I would just delay being the target, putting myself out of immediate sight. Of course this also meant I couldn't leave any trace of doing anything in the home, so it wouldn't be noticeable I just ran away. Everything has to look untouched.
And then when they interacted with me, I had to make sure to not show emotion on my face, to not look overly confident or happy, to not show any fear or anxiety, to not look sad or upset, to not look angry. I had to act normal, or else. I had to try and defend my own actions and interests walking a fine line of 'trying to let them know I'm upset and unhappy about this, without setting them off and causing them to blow up at me for talking back'. And I'd be told off for this too, because 'how could I complain when people have it soo much worse and I am ungrateful for having a roof over my head'. I had to do whatever was asked out of me, and restrain from even expressing it wasn't what I wanted, for the fear of losing the roof over my head.
Unbelievable I just lived like that for many years. And now I can flop in my pajamas to the kitchen, eyes half closed, make a mess, and think of nothing but food and plans for the day, not worrying for a second that someone could target me for any move I make. I still get scared easily, but nobody attacks me anymore. I can take any item of food, for it is all mine. I can decide to go out anytime, come back anytime, no consequences. I decide what is good for me to do, and nobody else gets an input. I can think of my own interests, and disgreard what anyone else in the world could want from me, because I don't exist for their convenience, and I don't have to worry about it anymore. What I lived before feels absolutely intolerable now. Even one second of that is unsurvivable.
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emssturniolo · 11 months ago
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delicate
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pairing: matthew sturniolo x reader
summary: your soft spoken tone doesn’t let you make new friends, but matt is who you only really need
warnings: use of yn, and names such as baby ;)
a/n: very rare emssturniolo matt fan fic ! whaaat ?!??
happy reading :)
you and matt were currently at a party with his brothers. it was a party of some influencer who you didn’t really know, and had never spoken to
but you didn’t want to ruin the night for matt, who seemed to be excited to go to this party with his brothers and friends, so you promised yourself, for his sake, to try and make some new friends to talk to while you’re there
you went in confident and ready, to just tell your anxiety to fuck off and get out of your (very comfortable) comfort zone. yet, every time that you tried to talk to some girl that seemed remotely interesting to you, they would give you one of three main responses: make a weird face and shrug you off, try to talk to you and end up leaving, or just straight up insulting you - see there was a small problem with you and parties; you were too soft spoken to be heard in places with loud music and a lot of talking. so every time you tried to talk to someone, they wouldn’t be able to hear you and they’d either just leave or tell you to speak up, which was quite literally impossible for you to do, since your voice just didn’t go any higher than the slight next step from a whisper
yet you were determined. you didn’t want to cling onto matt, you wanted him to have fun and have some alone time with his friends, away from you. the last thing you needed was for him to think you’re too clingy. so you tried again, for the third time, to talk to a girl. this time, you spotted a girl sitting alone on the couch in the living room of the house the party was being held in. she was just on her phone when you sat next to her, and said “hey, you wanna talk?” and she diverted her attention away from her phone and looked at you with a smile. this was going well,,, surprisingly. “yeah sure! what’s your name?” she asked, “mine’s jenna.”, you smiled, “i love that name! i’m yn!” - jenna looked confused for a second before asking you, “sorry, what was that?”. she hadn’t heard you. “i said i love that name, i’m yn!” you tried again, raising your voice a bit higher, or as much as you could. “i can’t hear you! look, if you’re not gonna speak up i don’t think we can talk!”, jenna scoffed, and got up and left
tears brimmed at your eyes. you knew you weren’t speaking loud, but there was no reason for people to be so mean about it - so you gave in, and went to find matt. you needed him urgently, just a hug would be enough, but you couldn’t find him. you were growing more anxious by the second, so you quickly shot matt a text
matt<3
hey where are you?
i’m on the balcony
why what’s wrong?
can we meet ? like outside ?
yeah sure :)
and with that, you found matt outside the door of the house. the second you came close enough, you hugged him tightly. light tears ran down your warm cheeks, and as soon as matt realized, he pulled back, his hold still on you - gentle, but firm. “what’s up, my love? what’s wrong?” he spoke gently, just to match your delicate state. “nothing, just tried to talk to some people to let you have fun, but they always gave me weird looks or responses when i talked low.” you lightly let out a breath. he hugged you again, his delicate hands sinking into your skin, you above your hips - to let you know he’s there
“baby, look at me. you know i love everything about you, but trust me, that soft, gentle, beautiful, sweet, delicate tone of your voice is on my ‘top three things i love about yn’ list. promise.” and with that, he stuck out his pinky finger, which was immediately interlocked with yours, a kiss planted on each other’s fingers, and another one right after, planted on each other’s lips
“i love you, my sweet girl.” he said, sincerely. and you could tell, just by the stars in his eyes which show up anytime he talks about something he’s passionate about,,,
or talking about you
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eluxcastar · 9 months ago
Text
Dottore giving child reader a check up
─��� ୨୧:il dottore & reader
୨୧﹑synopsis :: nobody scares you more than the Doctor, and that's why you're wholly betrayed by Father tricking you into getting a check up right under your nose, but perhaps your worries are exaggerated by rumours
୨୧﹑genre :: fluff
୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child reader, he's a lil soft (cause if he's not poor kid might explode on site), reader is mute, reader is also autistic (but tbh you don't have to read it that way), not proofread
୨୧﹑words :: 2.9k
idk what possessed me to write this I just has the thought and decided it had to be done. I got in the zone and wrote it in a few hours 😭 this is kinda loosely based off one of my characters but ambiguous enough I think to be read as a reader insert. little ball of anxiety with legs reader hehe. they come from the house of the hearth so every instance of father refers to arle
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You can't think of a single person able to scare you nearly as much as the Doctor can, whether it's the daunting trip to find him wherever he hid this time or the fear of knowing he tried to bargain with Father to have the more unimpressive children—as some would call you—shipped off to him to become experiments.
Father won't allow him to get his hands on any of you, but it hardly eases the fear that he may disregard Father's warning and decide to pluck the first child he comes across up and feign ignorance when she realises they've disappeared.
Father personally entrusted you with this letter, so you cannot turn back as you make your way to where she said he should be. 
The sleepiness might manage to numb you to the danger by the time you arrive and make it easier to stomach his presence, but most likely, he will only frighten you awake, and it will worsen with the shock to your system.
There's no turning back now and no declining when Father asks you to take letters, which she says are of great importance. You can't treat letters like this lightly, even if you fear the recipient.
Knowing who is behind it makes the door all the more daunting. Doors that separate you from Harbingers always make you nervous as it's not every day you find yourself faced with one armed only with a letter and shaking hands. If it were anyone else, you could've knocked in a heartbeat, but you pause to gather your bearings before raising your hand to knock.
One two, three…four. Spaced just as Columbina taught you to, and then you wait.
Several seconds pass in silence before you hear footsteps from inside, then a voice calling out to you. "The door is unlocked."
You reach for the handle, cautiously cracking open the door just enough to peek inside. Your eyes travel across the room from your left to your right until you spy Dottore seated in a chair facing away from you. He hears you, evident in the way he turns to look at you as you work up the courage to step inside and leave the door ajar behind you.
"It's you," he remarks, the closest to acknowledgment you expect to receive. You are about to make your way to hand him the letter when he interrupts you. "Close the door."
The door is always closed here like it's trying to keep someone out, but there's no one here that he would dread seeing who would knock and accept that the door is locked. He must not be trying to convince anyone of that, and if he was, maybe he'd lock the door for real and leave everyone stranded outside instead of talking.
Dottore makes you nervous. You don't know what he thinks or why, but you probably don't like it. It's the only reason why he would be here right now. Normal doctoring wouldn't get him far as a Harbinger, and the sounds you've heard coming from his lab are enough to deter you from wondering too much. 
Instead, you quietly spin yourself around to push the door closed before returning to your endeavour of handing him this letter from Father she entrusted you with.
"Who is it from?" he asks, a question you remember him asking before too. You concluded that he's trying to gauge how eager he is to read it, and your answer will set his mood for the remainder of your stay.
You turn the envelope over to show him the seal on the back, which you hold out to him. The mark of the House of the Hearth—Father's seal—is displayed so that Dottore can glean the answer from wordless actions. He accepts it from your hand with a stifled eagerness, the hopes of something he'll enjoy written there held back by the knowledge that, in all likelihood, it's a trivial matter.
The moment the letter leaves your hands, you retreat to the safety of the door, where you stand beside the frame to await a half-hearted reaction or collect his response. Father is always happy when you return to the House to inform her that Dottore sighed when he read her letter, even if she regards the news with her usual stoicism. She despises when he bothers to send something back to her, but she never tells you why, as usual.
He collects something off his desk just out of your sight, hidden behind him, and the sound of paper tearing follows. He drops the twice-folded paper into his hand, then unfurls it to read the contents.
You wait in silence, nerves evening out as you rub the sleep from your eyes with the back of your hand. Sleepiness does help you occupy yourself if nothing else.
Then, you are interrupted by a snap of his fingers and a motion of his hand to usher you closer. 
Keeping him waiting will only make him mad, though you're sure not enough time has passed for him to pen any cohesive message in the minute or two you spent waiting.
You look up in anticipation nonetheless, expecting him to hand you something or tell you something so when he reaches toward you, it doesn't alarm you. 
Not until he grabs you beneath your arms, picks you up, and sits you down on the table, much closer to eye level with him.
"Arlecchino has her concerns about your sleeping habits and your seeming lack of will to speak," he begins, reaching behind you to grab something you barely follow before he has it in his hands. It's only a light, small and thinner than the torches at the House.
Your mind races with every question you can think of as you try to find a way off this table back to the floor, but the only way out is blocked by Dottore sitting in front of you, unsympathetic to the fear in your eyes when you stare at him. You could swear you hear your heartbeat thrumming in your ears in a quickened rhythm.
What was written in that letter? Was it about you? It takes only a brief glance down in search of the open letter to realise exactly what makes this delivery so important. Father tricked you into coming here to see the Doctor after you so eagerly declined her previous offer to go willingly. You catch glimpses of your name in Father's handwriting and little else as it blurs into a messy sea of details, but you always recognise how Father writes your name.
You know better than to assume this is punishment but rather the manifestation of Father's worry as you keep oversleeping lately and need one of the older children to fetch you from the comfort of your bed. The idea that habit would land you here, presumably getting a check-up, might've inspired you to prize yourself out of bed a little earlier had you known.
Dottore seems to gauge your trembling as an obvious sign of fear, though a twitch at the corner of his lips is your only indicator, as you can't see his eyes beneath the mask. "Her explicit concern was whether or not you're ill." He rests his hand against your knee— they're cold, yet you almost expect it. It doesn't mean you especially like it. You can only interpret the action as a skewed attempt to comfort you. "As long as you're healthy, I see no reason to keep you longer than a simple check up."
He's not a real doctor, is all you can think, and he doesn't know what he's doing.
You have no choice but to steel yourself for whatever pain you're about to be subjected to. It might hurt, but you have no way out, no way back to Father, so you can curl up in a ball at her feet and ask why she would subject you to this torture—
"Don't tense your jaw," you suddenly hear, realising his finger taps your knee to grab your attention back from dreamland. "Open your mouth," he instructs you, and rather simply at that. It's something you can follow without getting scared he'll hurt you somehow.
He shines that light at you, inspecting something, though you can't say what. A slight tilt of his hand and, by proxy, the light he's holding is your only sign he's looking at anything.
The light is off before you know it. There was no pain at all, not even a hint of discomfort beyond what naturally arises from your ever-present anxiousness.
Dottore moves to set the light beside you, then appears to change his mind as he offers it to you. You take it from his hand and click it just as he had, the light coming on again. Another click, and it's off. Holding it just like that, an object of clicks and ridges and a light you can play with, is enough to give you something to at least take your mind off the fear of getting hurt.
"Lift your head." 
This time, compliance comes easier as you tilt your head up until the point his hand stops nudging you, and instead, he presses his fingers against your throat. It's light enough to feel only slight pressure; it doesn't hurt, but you don't like that feeling. Your thumb brushes over the exterior of the light, smooth against the pads of your fingers and satisfying to touch. You pull away before you can come to your senses and stop yourself, but he lets go the moment your discomfort flares, and you do the closest you can to telling him no.
Your breathing begins to even back out seeing his hands so clearly in the air in front of you, away from you, not touching you. It's silent reassurance that what you just did counts enough as revoking his permission to touch you as anything can.
Dottore doesn't feel like dealing with the fussy child that trying to force it would invoke for a mere favour to the Knave.
Instead, simply asking you like the fully grown child you are seems much more efficient. "I'm going to ask you a few questions, all yes or no," he begins. "They're all simple enough you can answer without speaking."
You interpret the ensuing silence as Dottore waiting, expecting you to nod or shake your head, and you quickly offer a nod in agreement.
"Do you know if you're able to speak?"
You consider his question carefully, unsure of the answer. Your hesitation prompts him to rephrase the question.
"Are you able to make any noises at all?"
You nod. You know the answer to that.
"But not speak in full words?"
Not words. Words don't work. You shake your head.
"Would that be because you're physically unable to?"
You shake your head. You've spoken before, but each time you try, especially here, something robs you of your voice before you get the chance. You know you can talk, just not here like this. 
"If not physical, then there's nothing wrong with you," he concludes. It feels sudden like there should be more, but he stops so quickly. "Nothing that I can fix," he promptly adds. That explains it.
Why not? He doesn't answer, unable to hear the things you don't say. To him, you remain as starkly silent as ever and as difficult to treat as you have been the past few minutes. You suspect he came to some greater conclusion between when you first walked in and now but neglects to share with you what it is.
You must look unsatisfied or just confused as he pauses to stare at you. You look away first, eyes drifting back to the light in your hands.
"Arlecchino only wanted to know if something was physically wrong with you," he says, briefly looking down at the letter as he skims a particular section again. "Your poor sleep may be the result of insomnia, or whatever is causing the mental block that also prevents you from speaking."
Mental block? Nobody ever told you about anything like that. 
You eye him curiously, though you again remain silent, watching him while you think he isn't looking back. It's easy to look at him as long as you don't consciously think of the fact that he's staring at you behind that mask.
Dottore holds his hand out expectantly, a motion of his fingers telling you he wants you to return what you have in your hands to him. You do so, but not without a sadness-driven hesitance to accompany it.
"None of the things you're describing imply a physical problem, but a paranoid 'parent' overattentive to the wrong facets of what could be wrong with an orphan." You don't like the way he says that as if he's speaking ill of Father, but like always, you keep your mouth shut. "If you couldn't speak because of a physical injury, you would have presented with one when you arrived at the House of the Hearth—not now. Trouble sleeping and an elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, intense panic and your tremors are more likely the symptoms of anxiety." 
That's a lot of words, but as he quickly lists every example, you seem to become conscious of it. Mental block, anxiety. Those are the two things you've been told that sound like explanations. You look down as if on instinct, hands held in front of you to investigate his claims that you're shaking. You are. Before your eyes, your hands are trembling, though you can't say why. You look back at him to see if he has anything else to say.
You thought your sleep troubles weren't the same, the result of bad dreams, but supposedly not. Dottore doesn't know anything about that, does he? No, he can't. You never told him, so he can't know. He knows lots of things he shouldn't, like your heart racing when you're scared or how you feel like you can't breathe at times. 
Dottore clicks the light on again, shining it down at your hands resting in your lap. He circles it in place, and your eyes follow. It clicks off again after a few seconds. "Distraction helps anxiety," he says, then sets it down on the desk beside you. "Do you know why you can't sleep?" he asks.
Yes. You nod. Dreams. On nights when they're at their worst, they keep you awake long past bedtime when all others have gone to sleep. By breakfast, you can be so tired and sleep-deprived that dozing off over your food is the only thing you can manage.
You half expect to sit through another round of questioning before Dottore finds the one that clicks the pieces perfectly together in his head, just as he did in the first round.
Instead, Dottore stands, and his hands find your sides to hook you under your arms. Your feet are back on the ground before you can fuss any more about how much you do or do not like it. With you out of his way, he flips the paper Father wrote her request to him on.
"If you know the answer, then you're free to go."
That's it?
You stare up at him for a moment, perplexed by the surprising lack of pain compared to the abundance of fear you felt. It should have hurt, but it didn't, and now you don't know why you were so against coming here in the first place. Dottore spared five or ten minutes of his time, which he already didn't want to give you, and is sending you on your way without injury,
You can't see his face as he's turned away, writing something down that you can't make out. If you took a guess what it is, it's probably about you, just like the first one was. Still, you can tell why Father is so annoyed to receive letters from him. You don't recognise your name when he writes it. You don't recognise anything he writes. His handwriting is awful.
He folds it and slips it back into the envelope it was given to him in. That's not proper etiquette, but something in the way he practically shoves it into your hands tells you that he doesn't particularly care. So long as it gets from him to Father, it doesn't matter how it gets there in his eyes.
"Give that to the Knave." That is his final instruction. You're very used to following those kinds of instructions by now, having heard and executed them many times. They're second nature to your mind.
You nod, pinching it between your fingers to keep the paper from falling out of the open envelope. If Father's was critical, so is this one, and you'll get it back to her quickly—more importantly, safely.
You can't help wondering why it felt so much easier to have someone briefly look at you and ask a few questions. The older children make it sound torturous and barbaric, like being used as a lab rat to spite Father for her refusal with his only opportunity to access the children of the House.
Perhaps seeing a doctor to ease Father's worries isn't as scary as you believed.
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d1xonss · 1 year ago
Note
Hi!! Could I request a one shot where reader and Daryl are like complete opposites?? But he realizes eventually he’s grown to love her or something like that?? Thank you!
Enchanting
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader
✧ Era : Season 5/6
✧ Pronouns : she/her
✧ Genre : Fluff
✧ Word Count : 3.6k
AN ~ Thank you so much for this request! I’ve been writing some pretty sad stuff lately so I’m glad to have something on the lighter side lol. I tried my best with this considering I haven't been writing much outside of the series I've been updating. But I'm always up for the practice. Hope you enjoy!
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He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How someone so fragile, so delicate, so perfect, survived this long in a world as shitty as this. 
Alexandria as a whole felt like a dream within itself. Arriving with his family at the giant gates after living a life of hell on the road, it was something he would call a miracle. Though he hardly believed in such a thing, he thought this was as close as it was going to get. Houses lined up down the road, running water, electricity, it almost seemed too unreal to him to even want to stay in a place like this. 
It took him some time to get adjusted, some of his people having to drag him out of the house by his hair to actually give this place a chance. They wanted him to open up, socialize a bit more with some of the people in the community seeing as they were planning to stay in this dream-like place. 
Carol was the most persistent of them all. She poked and prodded at him for days to get out of the house and actually give this place a chance. He would argue and say that he had left the house since their arrival, but in her mind, going out for hours to hunt was hardly the socializing she had in mind. All she wanted was for Daryl to be able to thrive here as the rest of them were slowly doing, not wanting to see him completely shut himself out.
So, after a whole week of trying to coax him out of the secure home, he finally agreed to a party. 
Did he enjoy parties? No, absolutely not. He didn’t know what to do at those types of events, not knowing how to really talk with others freely as it wasn’t exactly his strong suit. He would most likely just awkwardly stand in the corner by himself until enough time passed for him to be able to leave. And at least then he could say he tried.
When the day finally came it was safe to say he was a little nervous. He hadn’t talked to really anyone outside of his close knit group in what felt like forever. He had no idea if he would even be good at the whole “small talk” thing as he never once was to begin with. But still, he promised he’d try.
So, after getting back from a hunt he went on earlier that day, he headed towards the lit up house as instructed. Though the closer he got, the more nervous he became. His palms began to sweat a little as he wiped them a few different times on his jeans, trying to swallow whatever anxiety was creeping back up to haunt him. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but it was. To him, it was.
He eventually forced himself to open up the front door with almost instant regret, seeing a few turning heads to notice his presence in the room. Though he tried to ignore it for the most part, only nodding to the familiar faces he saw in different areas of the mostly filled house. He already grew uncomfortable at the watchful eyes that managed to follow him, purposefully looking away as he kept his head down while he moved.
Alright, time to find a corner, he thought to himself as he subtly scoped the place out, preparing to be alone for most of the night.
“Daryl!”
Damnit.
He reluctantly turned his head to see Carol approaching him rather quickly with a wide smile on her face as she quickly brought him into a hug, “Oh, I’m so happy you made it.” 
“Mhm,” he hummed with a nod as he patted her back awkwardly before she finally pulled away, “Said I’d try…so m’ tryin.”
“And I’m very proud of you.” she said sincerely as she placed a hand on his cheek for a moment, before pulling back with an even larger smile, “You want something to drink?” 
He dipped his head in a nod of appreciation as she tapped his shoulder, “I’ll be right back.” she promised, before turning around to maneuver through the sea of people.
Daryl patted the sides of his legs nervously as he waited for her return, scanning over different things in the house that caught his attention. One was the slightly flickering light above his head, another was the music playing somewhat softly in the background of people’s loud conversations. And the third was a laugh. A quite delightful laugh that had his attention from the second it hit his ears.
Daryl’s head whipped in the direction of the sudden delicate noise, his eyes catching sight of a woman he had never seen around the community before. Over the past week he had managed to see a few other residents of Alexandria when he traveled outside, sending them a polite nod when he passed through. But he had never seen you before.
He watched intently as you interacted with someone else from right next to you, whispering something close to your ear as you let out another light and enchanting laugh. His eyes moved over the features of your face, seeing your eyes crinkling at the corners and dimples forming on your cheeks from how wide you smiled. His lips parted a little at the sight, his head even tilting a bit to the side as he continued to study your movements.
You occasionally tucked a piece of hair behind your ear everytime it got in the way of your eyes, your hand effortlessly falling back down to grasp the cup of the drink you held in your hands. Your nose occasionally scrunched up a bit as you spoke, clearly about something that brought you joy and it intrigued Daryl more than he was willing to admit. A part of him wanted to get closer to hear the delightful story you were surely telling. He could in fact almost make out the sound of your voice from where he stood-
“Here’s your drink.” Carol’s voice quickly cut into his thoughts.
He practically jumped out of his skin at her arrival, glancing down to see the beer bottle in her hands before swiping it in his own grasp with a quiet thanks. Her brows furrowed in slight confusion as now all Daryl could seem to focus on was the ground, but curiosity got the better of her as to why he was so jumpy. Her eyes glanced behind her shoulder and did a scan of the surroundings…before a smirk was brought to her face.
“She’s pretty.” she commented casually.
Daryl’s eyes flew up to meet her smug expression with a scoff, “Dunno what yer talkin bout.” he brushed off as he raised the bottle to meet his lips.
She couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “I’m not dense, Daryl, and neither are you…” she trailed off before glancing back once more to catch you laughing yet again, “I think you should go talk to her.”
A scoff was the only response he could come up with, a reddened pigment covering his cheeks at the suggestion. You were already having a good time, why the hell would you want to talk to someone like him instead.
“I’m serious.” Carol pushed, “I think it’s the right kind of socializing you need.” she finished with a wink.
He gave her a pointed look as he took another swig of the liquid, his eyes panning back over towards you as the person whom you were once talking with, suddenly walked away. So now you stood alone, swaying back and forth a little to the music in content as you occasionally took a sip from your own drink as well.
“Well, would you look at that…a spot seemed to open up.” Carol teased as she nudged his side a little to which he just brushed her away with an annoyed grunt.
Though he couldn’t argue as he continued to casually glance at you still standing alone, though it looked like you didn’t mind too much. You looked almost too peaceful in a cramped party filled to the brim with people. Maybe he should take a chance. Just this once in his life maybe the leap of faith would do him some good, giving him an opportunity to talk to you.
After having an eternal inner debate with himself and a loud sigh left his lips, he finally pushed himself to move forward. He tried to ignore Carol’s wide smile in encouragement as he passed by her completely, but it truly was hard to ignore. He huffed as he moved further, awkwardly squeezing by a few people lingering in the way before he could reach you.
Although it happened all too fast, now standing in front of you with somewhat of a blank expression as you now looked him in the eye. Daryl swallowed thickly as he stood frozen upon seeing your gaze match his, your eyes were beautiful as they seemed to hold something much more than he was expecting. Everything about you seemed to make time stop for him.
“Hi.” you greeted politely after a few seconds of silence, sending a smile his way that almost caused him to melt.
He cleared his throat, “Hey.” he responded dryly, now almost panicking as he didn’t think this through as much as he should’ve. He was suddenly rendered speechless, not knowing what to say next as you looked at him almost expectantly.
Though your eyes narrowed the smallest bit, the smile still remaining on your face, “I recognize you, you’re new.” you stated with a raised finger, “Apart of Rick’s group, right? Daryl?”
“Uh huh.” he mumbled as he continued to stare, almost in disbelief that you had recalled seeing him before, enough to recognize him and even know his name. He’d almost wished you would repeat his name again so he could hear you say it just once more.
Your smile widened even more if that were possible as you suddenly held out your hand for him to take, “I’m (Y/N).”
And just like that, after hearing your name for the very first time, he could never seem to get it out of his head. He didn't necessarily know it then, but you would soon become a person that Daryl cared very much for. Someone he would give up his life for. Someone he would grow to love.
He was infatuated with you, slowly finding the time to leave the house more and more so he could have a chance at catching you outside as well. Normally he would never be so bold as to plan something like this just to get a chance to talk to you, but he couldn’t help it. There was just something so special about you that he couldn’t ignore.
Months in the community went by just like that, getting countless chances and opportunities to spend more time with you on multiple occasions. You were honestly flattered that the stoic man wanted to seek you out whenever he got the chance, offering to help fix something in your house or inviting you out on one of his hunts, you were always excited upon his arrival.
In exchange you would always have something to give him in return for his countless acts of kindness. Whether it was giving him something you had baked or his worn jeans you offered to patch up and sew, you wanted to give him something. He always seemed to deny your persistence, wanting nothing in return as he thought you were the best gift he could ever receive. But still you pushed, batting your eyelashes at him until he finally agreed to take whatever you presented, leaving you smiling at his bashful state.
You knew of his growing feelings towards you, of course you did. You picked up on it after he stopped by your house about three different times to make sure the bathroom sink he had fixed was still working properly. Daryl however was still painfully oblivious as he failed to realize that after all this time, you too found yourself growing feelings for him.
“I think you should just bite the bullet and ask her.” Carol advised as she mauvered around the kitchen, cooking dinner for the two of them.
Daryl’s constant resort was to just scoff at her words as he held his head in one of his hands at the kitchen island, “Alright.” he mumbled sarcastically.
She whipped around with slightly widened eyes, “I’m being serious!” she said as she stirred something heated on the stove, “And you better do it fast before she gets swept up by someone else.”
His eyes quickly snapped up towards her at the possibility, “Ya think that’ll happen?” he asked, not even trying to hide his worry.
He cared for you deeply, unlike anything he had ever felt before, the last thing he wanted to see was you with someone else. But at the same time he was scared. Scared to ask you out for some kind of date if you didn’t see him the same way he saw you. He didn’t want to ruin what he already had with you, he didn’t want to scare you away. But the suggestion of you being with someone besides him now made him worry further.
“I think that it could happen.” Carol corrected, “She’s very kind and pretty, it’s hard for me to believe she hasn’t found someone yet.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing…” Daryl said as he trailed off, “Better then endin up with some asshole like me.”
The woman sighed heavily as she dropped the wooden spoon in her hands and turned around fully to face him, “Daryl, that girl absolutely adores you. You might not be able to see it, but I do. I think you should just…take a chance. Like you did with that party.” she spoke knowingly.
He sent her a glare through his lids, earning a small laugh from her as she turned back around. His mind seemed to wander for a long moment as Carol’s back was facing him now, thinking if now was really the time to make some type of move. He wanted nothing more than to just confess what he’s been feeling for so long, wanting to sweep you off your feet and never let you go. But it wasn’t that easy.
He had thought about this situation before in the past, a lot more than he was willing to admit, but everytime he seemed to always talk himself out of it. He didn’t know how you would react, if you would be offended or flattered. If you would turn him down easy for leave him brokenhearted. There were too many possibilities for him to ignore, too many scenarios to think through.
But in the end you were the kindest person he had ever met and he felt safe with you, safer than he had ever felt before. Perhaps that was the only reason he needed to finally take a chance.
Before he could even process what he was doing, he suddenly stood up from his seat and headed straight towards the front door, trying not to talk himself out of the sudden decision he just made. He was fast and light on his feet as he walked down the porch steps, nearly falling on his ass as he missed the last one in a hurry. But he hardly let it bother him, looking like a man on a mission to others he was passing by on the sidewalk.
The walk to your house felt fast and slow all at once, his heartbeat rapidly pounding in his chest with each step closer he got. He felt his hands begin to sweat a bit as he trudged up the steps to your pretty yellow house, noticing the arrangements of flowers you had on either side of the porch that matched your personality perfectly. He was inches away from the front door now as he stood back and hesitated to knock on the wooden frame to your home. His eyes glanced down for a moment to your welcome mat below his feet, scraping off his dirty boots as he would never wish to track mud into your house.
With his boots clean(ish) and a huff passing from his lips, he finally raised his fist up towards the door to give it a firm and heavy knock, waiting for you to answer. The seconds seemed to go impossibly slow as he waited, wondering to himself if you were even home. You loved to head to the gardens this time of day, picking your share of the fruits and vegetables being grown. Perhaps he had missed you completely, contemplating if he should just turn around and head back seeing as the seconds turned into minutes.
But then he heard it. The faintness of your voice calling through the house that you were coming, followed by the pitter patter of your light and delicate footsteps. He swallowed thickly before the door was suddenly swung open, revealing your smiling face that seemed to light up even more at just the sight of him.
“Hey!” you greeted cheerfully as you bounded forward to close the distance between you two, bringing him in for a tight embrace.
He grunted at the sudden impact, but smiled a bit to himself as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you softly. He feared that he would break you if he squeezed a little too tight.
You pulled back with a smile just as wide as your eyes lingered a bit over his face, “What’s up? You need something?” you asked politely.
He couldn’t help but think that he needed you and only you, but it felt a little wrong to be that blunt right away so he settled with a shake of his head, “Nah, just…just wanted ta see ya.” he spoke honestly.
Your eyes twinkled at the sweetness of him as you laughed lightly, “I’ve been wanting to see you too.” you admitted, “It feels like it’s been too long since we’ve hung out.”
“Yeah,” he grunted as he cleared his throat a little, “Shit’s gettin busier round here.”
You nodded in agreement, a little sympathy on your features as you knew how much he did around here for the community, “But- uh…” he quickly corrected, “I’ll always make time for ya…no matter how busy it gets.” he admitted nervously.
Your heart warmed as you smiled at him sweetly, “You sure?” you asked a bit playfully, “You sure you’re not too busy?” you poked as you ventured out to take his hand softly in yours.
He smiled down at you as you intertwined your fingers with his, as you normally would do, “Never.” he promised.
His eyes then took the time to take in your appearance as he normally would do. Your hair was pulled back a bit as it was tied up with a light pink ribbon, framing your face angelically as a few strands fell from the front and landed just above your cheekbones. He then noticed the sundress that fit your figure beautifully, finding himself loving the many skirts and flowy dresses you constantly wore. And then the jewelry that hung around your neck, a tiny pink diamond that was shaped into a heart as it sat in the middle of your chest.
It was actually a gift he had given you weeks ago, something he had found on a run that just reminded him of you. It was so soft and delicate, and the heart seemed fitting to your style. 
“Did you…want to come in for a bit?” you asked as you noticed him grow a little quieter than usual.
He snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of your sweet voice, “Oh- uh- nah…I just came over here ta…ask ya somethin.”
“So ask.” you prodded gently with a soft squeeze to his hand that made his knees feel like jelly.
You knew that Daryl often had a hard time with things like this, seeing it made him uncomfortable to say or ask something out of his comfort zone. But you were always so patient with him it blew his mind, always willing to wait for him to just come out and say it.
“Alright, so uh…” he cleared his throat before swallowing thickly, “I was just um…just wonderin…if ya wanted to maybe…go on a ride with me sometime…?”
Your eyes brightened a little as you went to open your mouth to answer, but he quickly cut you off, “Nah, I mean- n-not like just a ride, but like…out together sometime…just the two of us...kinda like-”
His rambling went on for a few more seconds before you decided to cut him off instead. He suddenly clamped his mouth shut in a split second when he felt the softness of your lips brushing across his cheek, leaving a light peck before you pulled away with a smile.
“I’d love to.” you said.
The man was stunned to silence, feeling his face get hot and the burning of his cheek becoming more intense as he tired to process your actions. You couldn’t help but laugh a little to yourself as you gave his hand another comforting squeeze while gazing up at him through your long lashes.
“I’m free tomorrow at noon…if that works for you?”
He stood there in bewilderment for a moment or two before frantically nodding his head, not counting on his words in this moment in time. You nodded back before venturing your hand out of his hold and up towards his face to move some of the hair that had fallen over his eyes. He almost quivered at the feeling of your fingers gently touching his hair, silently wanting more though he would never ask.
“I can’t wait.” you admitted gently and quietly, lulling him back into the same enchanting trance he was hit with the moment he caught sight of you for the first time all those months ago.
~ Thanks for reading!
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carryonafi · 6 months ago
Note
hi my sweet baby angel— been thinkin about fonda!luke a lot recently… was wondering if you could write a little cute/smutty ‘i’m so fuckin proud of you’ blurb that takes place after his ono? do whatever you want with it, i know you’ll do great bby <3
only the brave.
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luke hemmings x reader; SMUT!!!🔞
a/n: HELLO finally getting to some requests! starting with one from my dear souperbloom 😋 she’s already gotten a few little snippets but shh we don’t talk about that. ANYWAY here’s only the brave featuring fonda night 1 lukey pookie :3
words: 2.6k
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Luke was always in his element when he performed, but it was always surrounded by the others that he shone. Knowing him, you would have never thought he could have done this on his own. Not that you didn’t have the faith, but it was how often he spoke about feeling alone when he wasn’t standing by his best friends.You were currently standing backstage with him, in the dressing room before his first ever solo show with a full house of guests and the next night hopefully bound to be a wonderful repeat due to the unexpected high demand of the first night.
“How do you feel?” You said softly, the room silent other than the outside noises of the crew moving around the pre-show playlist in the background.
“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Luke sighed, tipping his head back against the door, he did look sort of pale, but he usually seemed that way.
The look on his face softened a bit once you reached out to take his hands.
“You’ll be okay… do your vocal warmups. That helps doesn’t it?” A weak suggestion, but it was a thoughtful attempt that made Luke crack a smile.
“I dunno.” He admitted, his expression turning back to normal once he really started to think again. You could understand how he felt, knowing him for years and seeing how much stage anxiety he went through even with the others around.
“They’re gonna be watching too, y’know? All you have to do is look up at the balcony.” As much as you tried to make him feel better, you knew that nothing would truly ease him. The thought of looking up to see you and his best friends made him feel a little bit better for the moment, that was until a crew member shouted for call time. Luke’s face dropped again.
“You’re going to be amazing, okay? You always are.” You offered a weak smile, getting one back as Luke leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips.
He looked like he was about to say something in reply, but instead, he bit his tongue and took the encouragement instead of plaguing it with his doubts. “Thank you.” He said gratefully, leading you out of the dressing room and parting ways once he got to the wings and you left to join the crowd.
The lights went down and the last song on the playlist ended, you took a deep breath suddenly feeling anxious for Luke now as well — but as you said. He was always amazing.
Security walked you up to the balcony, a few stray fans at the back of the general admission floor whispered to themselves and happily waved as you walked by and made your way up to where the others were standing. Michael turned around as he felt your presence join them, giving you a look through the darkness.
“He’s okay?” He asked, seemingly responding to the anxiety taking over your entire expression.
“He should be, just nervous to be up there without you guys.” You gave him the simplest answer possible, knowing how it described the last hour or so of sitting in the dressing room and trying to talk Luke down from walking straight back out to the car… or throwing up. He was very close to both of those scenarios.
Just as you told him, all of that encouragement and gentle words to get his hopes up, he played a really good show and seemed to be feeling incredible by the end of it. You left the rest of Luke’s friends just at the end of the last song so you could meet him backstage, and it was the best decision you could’ve made. It was obvious that he needed to see you after that.
He picked up his head once he tossed his last pick into the crowd and headed backstage, a smile gracing his features illuminated by the few and far bright lights in the otherwise dark venue. It was too hard to resist the temptation to smile as well, rushing forward and throwing yourself into his arms.
“See, you did amazing!” You squealed happily against his shoulder, Luke’s heart was racing and you could feel it relax significantly as you stood there and held him for a moment. He breathed out a long sigh of relief, nearly tearing his in-ears out with one hand while the other snaked around your waist to hold you tight. He needed this. He needed nothing more than your arms enveloping his physical worries and making him feel like he just won the Olympics.
“Thank you… Thank you so much.” Luke whispered against your hair, pressing repeated kisses to the side of your head and not stopping even when you tilted your head to look at him. Instead he just went with it, kissing your face until he finally reached your lips. He teased a little, kissing the corner of your mouth which had you giggling and grabbing his cheeks so he couldn’t move. You planted an aggressively loving kiss to his lips, the sensation of his growing smile making it hard to hold it.
“I’m very proud of you, so fuckin’ proud of you, Luke.” You replied in that same tone he used earlier, a wider grin spreading across Luke’s face as he started to walk you backwards towards the dressing room again.
“Don’t think I could’ve done it without you.” He muttered like it was a secret, quickly pecking your lips once more with his hands splayed out on your back so you didn’t walk into anything.
“Bullshit.” You scrunched up your nose, Luke shook his head then turned you around.
“No, no. I definitely couldn’t have.” He played back despite your protest, leading you into the small room and closing the door.
You sat on one side of the small sofa while Luke shed himself of his gear and slipped off his suit jacket which left him in the matching brown vest, your eyes roamed, scanned each little part of his body. His wrists shoulder blades flexing as he tried to rid the exhaustion of performing which was mostly masked by adrenaline. Luke saw you in the mirror, smiling back at you as a simple wave of your hand gestured for him to come closer. He didn’t let a beat go by, he obeyed and slowly approached you.
“Wanna go back home, or sit and decompress for a while?” You asked, placing your legs in his lap and playing with his sweaty curls.
“Mm, decompress. Don’t wanna move.” He hummed, an arm curling under your thighs and pulling you closer to him. Even past the warmth and exertion, he needed to feel you. Your warmth.
The dressing room was quiet, peaceful as Luke came down and basked in his glory of a first solo performance. Usually, there would be some sort of music playing, 3 other guys messing around and celebrating yet another amazing night… but it was just Luke. You and Luke.
“I’m proud of you.” You repeated, catching Luke’s attention away from the loose thread in your outfit. His lips quirked into a crooked smile, the smile that made the high points of his cheeks glow with joy. He thought for a moment before nodding, gently squeezing your thigh.
“I’m proud of me, too.” Luke agreed, the glitter smeared across his eyelids had managed to spread on his face. You reached forward to brush some away, but he took this opportunity to catch your waiting lips in another soft kiss.
Your hand moved slowly on his cheek, fingertips catching the underside of his jaw and keeping him close for just a fleeting second more. Until your lips broke apart, it wasn’t known who did it, but all you knew was that Luke was leaning in for more. His lips were forced against yours again with much more, newfound fervor as his free arm hooked around your middle.
It was nearly silent from there on, just gentle kissing and featherlight touches which spoke more volume than any rough make out session, any bedroom session — the adrenaline pumping through Luke’s veins and the events of the night had him on a high.
“C’mere…” He murmured against your kiss-swollen lips, a pout on his own as he hoisted you into his lap and nearly forced you to straddle him.
“Really?” You teased, letting out a breathy laugh as Luke licked his lips and admired his own hands exploring your body. Slipping into the waistband of your bottoms and watching the goosebumps form on your skin at his warmth.
“We’ve never done this after a show before, please?” He pleaded, looking up at you through mascara coated eyelashes which pushed you to give into him.
“As long as you can make it quick.” You hushed in response, just as Luke’s hands disappeared under your skirt and delicately brushed the soft skin of your inner thighs. He nodded, slowly taking his hands off of you to unbutton those annoying, high waisted slacks that he had really been obsessed with. They were hard to shuffle down with you in his lap, so you decided to help him out by lifting your hips a little.
“Made it easy by wearing that..” Luke gave as an affectionate note, making it clear that the skirt was a good option— a great option.
“Easy access?” You grinned, his pupils dilating at the sight of your underwear slowly slipping down your legs and leaving the underneath to his imagination beneath the skirt, Luke hummed in agreement, his hands returning to spread themselves across your hips and bring you even closer. It was barely possible.
“You’re annoying.” He whispered, his eyes turning soft and desperate as your hips came into contact.
“What? How so?” You gasped, tone full of mirth as you witnessed Luke slowly losing control over being so close to you. Every single time, without fail he was always going to get to that breaking point of desperation and you loved it.
“You jus’ have to look so pretty all the time, it’s annoying — I gotta hold it all in.” Luke replied, moving forward to bury his face in your neck and leave needy, wet kisses on your skin. “Have t’ share you with everyone… they all look at you, baby.” He rambled into your neck, lips and tongue dragging over your skin in a soft haste to get to his favorite parts of you. Luke ended his trail of destruction with one gentle kiss to your chest, right above the center where he rested his curly little head in defeat. Defeat of falling victim to you.
“Don’t have to share me with anyone, silly boy.” You laughed, hands carding through his hair and massaging his dark roots. “I’m all yours.” You said gently, careful of Luke’s fragile mind where he often struggled.
However, you were caught off guard by the switch he took. Luke peeked his head up, pushing up into your hands like he was a puppy desperate for love, but slipped himself inside you in one flawless motion. It left you breathless, Luke beaming with satisfaction as you took him.
“All mine?” He breathed, ring-clad fingers tightening on your hips and indenting the flesh beneath his hands. All that came out of you was a weak sigh of pleasure, coaxing you to sink down further and devour inch by inch. Luke was waiting for an answer, so you nodded and hummed appreciatively which seemed to be more than enough for him. His hips slowly started to move, leaning back against the couch to watch the obscenity before him. Anyone could walk into this dressing room, anyone could see you perched on his lap and know within seconds what was going on under the fluff of your skirt. Just the sounds you were making with each caring and generous roll of his hips had him imagining the scenarios of someone hearing you. It was a low chance, but hell, was it daunting.
“So.. So goddamn proud.” You looked down at Luke, admiring how he had reached and let one button on his vest go to expose more of his chest.
“Uh huh, you’re proud?” He raised his eyebrows, the rise and fall of his chest as his breathing picked up driving you both just a little more crazy for each other.
The simplicity of your nod made Luke smile, knowing that he had taken your words away and left you so focused on the rhythm he had pumping in and out of you. But he was close too, losing control but not nearly as weak as you.
“Luke!” You gasped when his pace changed, he was now focused on chasing his own pleasure once he was secure in the fact that you would be finishing before him. This made it all come crashing down, little pulses and shocks through your nerves, thighs twitching as you clamped down hard and bit your knuckles to keep yourself quiet.
“Hey…” Luke breathed, taking your hand away from your mouth as your orgasm smoothly washed over you. “Don’t hurt my girl.” He gave you a crooked half-smile, his hips stuttering which told that he was there. Right there, letting out that deep groan and leaning forward to press his face against your collarbone as he pumped deep inside you, His curls tickled your neck, slicked with sweat from the activities within the humid dressing room.
It was about two minutes until you each didn’t feel like jello anymore, you felt a smile of post-orgasm bliss creeping up on you which turned into giggles.
“Fuckin’ love you so much.” You sighed dreamily, tangling a hand in Luke’s hair and gently coaxing him to look up at you. The glitter from his eyes was now on your neck, and somehow his nose— you examined his flushed face with care and graced a loving peck to his nose.
“Love you more.” Luke barely managed past his own smile, waiting a few more moments to spare the gentle touches and soft kisses from you. It felt like so long until he could finally get you home… but home was just half an hour away, more of those kisses in a much better environment were waiting for him. “This was a really great reward,” he mumbled, shy like some schoolboy.
“Oh yeah?” You chuckled, mindlessly fixing the buttons of his vest and watching as he returned to picking at some loose thread on your top. Luke nodded, giving you the loving eyes shielded by his impressively long eyelashes. “Imagine what kind of reward you’ll get when you finish a solo tour.”
“I can’t even begin.” Luke grinned back, hoisting you up from the couch once you were all situated and ready to face as many people as you possibly needed to. Hopefully not a lot, if Luke was counting right. Security, staff, driver…
“There’s fans waiting out back, wanna go see them?” You suggested, grasping Luke’s hand as you headed out of the venue and strides hastily through the backstage halls. You knew what Luke’s answer was going to be, the hesitance to go back and show his fans some appreciation would be the nice thing to do. However, tomorrow was another show. They could wait and have some hope for him until the next night.
“Nah, just wanna go home.” He admitted, blinking down at you in the dim light to adjust and focus clearly on your face. You were now also covered in his glitter, and it was truly a sight for him. One that he would be sad to wash off at home, but maybe there was more in it for him if he was extra gentle with your cleanser.
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lululandd · 8 months ago
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wrong;
pairing: könig x f!reader
wordcount: 2.5k+
warnings: fluff?
note: ngl i had fun making this and i hope yall get a laugh from this or something (also on AO3)
summary: 
of all the kortac members you’ve worked and hung out with, you try to avoid könig the most. the austrian man comes off as normal and even endearing at first, masking his anxiety with comedy, always being thoughtful of people's needs and personal space. but the more you hung out with him the more you realise he might actually have a woman held hostage in his house. he likes to talk about her, mostly innocuous comments about her new hobbies, but from time to time könig lets out insane comments in such a casual tone that rendered you and other kortac operators speechless.
bunny doesn't like men so when my kitchen was renovated i had to put her in the basement..
—sometimes she misbehaves so much i want to hit her but i can't so i had to leash her.
no one dares to talk about his bunny, you notice everyone skirting around the subject and never asking him directly about her even though he’s actively bringing her up in conversations. you don’t mind being around him during assignments, since he’s usually too busy saving people’s lives and covering his teammates backs to think about his ‘bunny’. but outside of combat? at the base? at karaoke or bars? you avoid him as much as possible.
until you slipped up, of course.
you were tired; unwashed, thinking only of the food in front of you and the long luxurious cold shower you’re going to have right after.
hearing the word ‘sick’ somewhere in your vincinity you immediately went into worry mode and asked follow up questions before your brain could determine who was talking.
horangi lets out a cough next to you, and only then you realise who said the word ‘sick’ and about whom.
the usually boisterous man looked so downtrodden, barely eating his dinner, moving his food around his metal tray. 
“it’s bunny..” he whined, his hood blowing forwards for a moment before settling back in place.
“i’m sorry to hear that.” you offered, curtly. you thought of the least offensive thing you could muster that wouldn’t evoke any other bunny related tidbits. “how long until your assignment’s over?”
“two months.”
“i’m sure she’ll be fine.” you assured him, “hope she feels better soon, könig.”
he rested his chin on his open palm, “she can’t take care of herself, i had a friend stay at my house to take care of her.” 
you glance at horangi, hoping he’d steer the conversation away. he halfheartedly shrugged as he dug into his food, unwilling to help. you dug your own grave, the shrug seems to imply.
“your friend is probably doing their best, you just have to trust them.”
horangi raised his brows and smirked at you. you poked him with one of the corners of your metal tray playfully when you two were done eating. laughing as he bumps your hip with his, saying something in korean before answering, “you have to learn to evade the bunny topic yourself. you did good.”
perhaps this is the nicest, or the only thing anyone has ever dared to say about his captive, because he turned up at your shared bunk that night. stiletto immediately fiddled with her butterfly knife when she saw who was at the door.
“may i talk to you?” his gaze jumped from your eyes to something behind you before looking at you again quickly and looking away again.
stiletto snarked at him from her bed, “you can talk over there with the door open.”
thankful for her caution, you see könig doesn’t seem too bothered by it.
“i’m worried about bunny.” he lowered his voice, bending a little so his head was closer to yours.
“oi! three feet apart!” you hear her yell alongside the soft clitter-clatter of her butterfly knife.
könig straightened up immediately, it’s so funny seeing him obey stiletto without question even though he’s her senior in age and rank.
“your friend is with bunny, no?” you tried reassuring him.
“ja.” he squares up to his full height, making you step back to even be able to look at his face. “she is taking care of bunny but she is no doctor.”
“neither am i.” you shrugged, turning to look at stiletto for reassurance. 
to your relief she grumbled at the colonel, “get to the point, könig.”
the austrian threw a look at your bunkmate before looking back down at you.“i want you to go see her.”
your heart gave a little jolt, and you’re sure your whole body did too.
what.
blinking slowly, you turn your head to give stiletto a wide-eyed stare before looking back at him. “you want me to go see… your girl?” 
his expression shifted, you could see the twinkle in his eyes hearing you’re not outright rejecting his proposal. “ja, ja, i want you to see bunny. you seem like a nice person. i want you to check up on bunny, and maybe stay with her until i come back.”
“stay?” you repeated. “at your house? where bunny is?”
nodding excitedly, he stepped forwards, “ja, exactly. i’ll pay your tickets.”
you want to look back and make faces at your roommate but out of respect you just look as confused as you could and tell him you would give him an answer tomorrow.
as soon as the door closed and könig’s footsteps can no longer be heard, stiletto hissed from her bed, “ma che cazzo, he is crazy.”
plopping down next to her, “i feel sorry, though.”
she slapped your upper arm, “his crazy is catching. what the fuck?”
“i mean, if he wants me to visit then how bad could the situation be, right?” you try to make sense of his actions. “if bad comes to worse i can always call the police.”
stiletto groaned, “the police could be in on it, idiota.”
she’s right.
but,
he’s your co-worker. if you go missing during your planned trip to austria on könig’s dime, there would definitely be an investigation, right? there’s paper trail and receipts and everything.
you voice your thoughts to your roommate and she sighs in defeat.
“your funeral, bunny number two.”
you arrived at könig’s little countryside (remote) house, with its dilapidated (creepy) looking roof and peeling windowsill. a gigantic rabbit greeted you in his lush front garden, happily chewing on a celery stalk and hopping away from the iron gate as you approached.
hop? that thing looks like it could gallop. there must be something in the water here that makes everything grow so large. how far is chernobyl from this place, again?
staring at his front door an embarrassingly long time, you took a quick and deep breath before knocking. his front door felt so foreboding you instinctively step back right after.
the woman greeting you with a smile looks a little bit older than you, with a charming smile that would definitely make you feel safe if you’ve never heard of the way könig talks about his girlfriend.
“hi, im here to see……” your eyes dart around your peripherals to make sure there’s no one that could ambush you, “..bunny?”
she gestured at the rabbit in the patch of sunlight behind you.
the world as you know it crumbled before your eyes. the sun shone brighter, the dilapidated windows look fine, and did you call his cabin creepy earlier? you meant cosy.
you blinked slowly. “that’s.. bunny?” you reiterated, turning halfway back at the rabbit while pointing at it.
“ja, bunny is rabbit in english? yes?” she sounded a little impatient, “are you a vet? she is all better now.” its clear from her tone and the hard stare she gave you that she’s offended of könig’s distrust in her ability to take care of his pet rabbit.
putting your hand up, “no, i’m his friend.” you stared back at the rabbit again for a little longer, making sure its actually a rabbit and not a woman in a realistic rabbit suit. you’ve seen the $15000 collie suit that went viral a few years back, “so…. könig’s girlfriend doesn't live here?”
crossing her arms, it was her turn to blink slowly. “girlfriend? i’ve only seen him bring men home.”
as much as you wanted to laugh out loud at the second big misunderstanding this poor man has in his life, it makes complete sense why she would think that way. “i see.” was all you could muster.
“come in, then.” she offered.
taking note of where the basement is as she points at things while giving you a tour, you opened the door to be immediately greeted by a well lit space, with a little rabbit enclosure at the back, a waist high fence separating the space from the rest of the basement. it had one of those hamster wheels although a much larger size, a pet bed, and neat stack of hay just outside the fence gate. you took careful steps further down in the basement, and you do see a little clasp and a leash hanging off the wall by the pet bed.
the first thing you after your brain process the whole information is run back outside and update the group chat.
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stiletto had to personally call you fifteen minutes later because you weren’t active in the group chat. 
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könig came home to bunny sitting on what looked like a little trampoline with an umbrella on top of it, munching on some hay with pieces of flowers and fruits strewn about. seeing him, bunny hopped off her little perch. his little fluff of happiness is coming with her ears all perked up to flop on her side by his feet. here are little bows on both her ears and as he crouched down könig could feel all his stress melt away from the sight. picking bunny up, he walked in to find your bags packed and ready by the front door, your socks neatly placed inside each of your shoes.
bunny wiggled as könig roamed his house to look for you, presumably wanting to go back to her feast of hay and flowers and fruits that you set up for her. but when he opened the front door and set her down, she instead hopped further into the home, towards the basement door.
“there’s no man around for you to fear, häschen.” he coos, before looking at the direction bunny is heading.
first thing he saw was you had gathered more hay; könig notes its the expensive one he only gets when he receives his yearly bonus, the old pet bed looks cleaned, and there’s a new even bigger one by the wheel. he spots you in the corner fastening the leash hook.
“you want beer?” he offered in lieu of a greeting. you could hear the smile in his voice.
bunny punched the gate, signalling that she wants to go in the enclosure to possibly use the wheel or be with you. he unlatched the gate and watched with fascination as she hopped over to you, standing on her hind legs to see what you’re doing.
“oh hey könig, i’m just about done.” you pointed at the little sand pit next to the stairs, “careful of the sand pit.”
you heard him shuffle around behind you. the man is lazy and drags his feet when he’s not in combat. “you built this for bunny?” he sounded surprised, the sound of sand being played with grabbed your attention so you opted to stop fiddling with the hook and come see what he’s doing. 
bunny followed you as you walked towards him, “yeah, we pitched in for a lot of the stuff. there’s a card upstairs.” 
the tall man was grabbing some sand visibly stiffened at your reply. könig turned his head slowly towards you, “we?” the casualness dropped off his posture at that moment. “card?”
hearing the scepticism in his voice, you nodded and pointed at the door to usher him upstairs.
he stayed, looks down at the sand as if it was the most interesting thing in the world for him. bunny filled the long pause with her little clucks and chatters as you absentmindedly pet her. “i thought you guys didn’t like bunny..” he said weakly, returning to playing with the sand, slower this time.
oh no.
looking at it from his perspective, you saw how shitty you all must’ve looked. he had mentioned how sick his pet was and no one asked a single question nor seemed to care.
at this point bunny has sensed his distress and made her way towards him to cuddle. she’s really good at that, sensing peoples moods and coming over to offer comfort.
you think you will just rip the bandage off, or maybe at this point it’s more like giving him a surprise brazilian wax. “könig we thought bunny was your girlfriend. and you chain her up in the basement and everything.”
“WAS? WAS MEINST DU???” he turned your head to you so fast you could see little beads of sweat coming off his hair.
you think he’s yelling WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? so you continued on, swallowing thickly. “none of us were ever sure if you were talking about an animal or a person and we just…. yeah…” the look of horror in könig’s eyes was reflected in his overall disposition which prompted bunny to snuggle into his chest deeper. “i’m sorry könig…”
as you can see his world unravelling before him, you decided this would be the perfect time to leave him and his little rabbit alone.
a text in the big group chat popped up later that night.
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riri0000i · 8 months ago
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Choso had always been the easy target. Since kindergarten. He was mentally weak, anti-social, and never responded to any provocation. Girls called him creepy, a freak, while boys raised their hands at him as a "joke". He spent mornings at school trying to not be noticed by people like you, without any success, of course. He had no one to hang out with and the only thing he did outside school was taking care of his siblings and pulling all-nighters in front of the computer, talking to the only people who could understand his loneliness.
A real loser.
" Oops, my bad Choso!" You chimed with a fake guilty face. Your friends were all laughing, some even taking pictures with their smartphones. Choso didn't move an inch from his chair, letting you pour the probably expired milk carton on his head.
" Hey! Don't frame me with this creep too." You said, noticing that a friend of yours was also taking pictures of you.
" It's not like the teacher cares anyway. " She responded. She was right: teachers gained nothing from defending students like Choso. Your school was one of those elite schools, mainly attended by people like you: rich and mean, with disgusting pastimes like making other people's lives miserable. And then there were those like Choso, who had earned the scholarship by studying.
" I know, but today I forgot to put my lashes on." Your answer made your friends laugh again and you joined them. Before class began you looked at Choso, drenched in milk. You met his tired eyes, as soon as he noticed your gaze he looked down. His weakness pissed you off.
“ Pathetic dog.”
౨ৎ⋆˚。⋆
The chemistry professor was explaining biomolecules, there were maybe five students who were actually listening to him. You were not one of them: you were scrolling on your phone and the few times you looked up you watched how your friends sitting next to Choso tormented him, by kicking at his chair or throwing pieces of paper at him. Nothing new.
" For this topic I would like you to work in pairs by doing a project. I will select the pairs based on your grades." The teacher said before clearing his throat for the umpteenth time.
Shit, this is the worst.
You had seen the scoreboard from the last chemistry test and you were last while Choso... He was first, just like in any other subject. The teacher began to list the pairs and, as you predicted, you ended up with that loser. When Choso heard your name he felt his stomach turn in anxiety, he feared you more than anyone else. To him you were simply cruel. There was no sign, however slight, of kindness in your soul. To make it worse was your pretty face which, at first glance, was impossible to associate with your awful personality. Choso would be lying if he said he didn't find you attractive. Maybe you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on.
" Turn in the project by next week." The teacher concluded before the bell rang.
" Can't believe that you have to do this with that creep!" Your friend laughed.
After a sigh: " Fuck it, I hate that teacher. Bet he did it on purpose." You said with a pissed tone. You noticed that Choso was watching you. You got up from your chair with another annoyed sigh and positioned yourself in front of his desk: hands on your hips and a fake smile on your lips, the usual one you used to make before saying a cruel comment.
" I don't want to be seen hanging around with you, much less in my house." You spat.
Choso replied in his insecure, shaky voice: " We can do it at my house... I warn you I have brothers so—
" Okay. See you later."
౨ৎ⋆˚。⋆
Number not Saved : 602. Apartment building X. Near Y station.
You : I'm taking the train rn.
Choso was nervous. It was his first time having a girl at home. Fortunately his brothers were staying late at school that day. He quickly took a shower, getting rid of the smell of milk that earned him several stares by strangers. Being the loser he was, he asked for advice on Reddit to avoid being overly weird.
Knock Knock.
Choso jumped at the knocks on the door, interrupting his reading “How to Look More Sociable in 3 Steps”. You arrived a little late, not expecting the train to take so long.
" Come in..." He said, opening the door for you. You didn’t even say hello, you just sighed, as if you were forced to do the hardest work job on earth. As you looked around (It was the first time you had seen such a small apartment) Choso couldn’t look away from your body. You were so cute in that little outfit. It was the first time he had seen you without your uniform outside school. He would never admit it but Choso stalkled your instagram account several times (resulting in messy erections every time you posted bikini photos). The miniskirt you were wearing was surely going to distract him. He felt something twitching in his pants. Face instantly pink in embarrassment.
Oh. Oh no. No. God, no.
“ Are we doing this stupid project or what?” You asked, breaking the silence. Lucky him, he was wearing loose clothes. You didn’t notice anything.
“ Oh. Yeah… Follow me.” He responded quietly, his body tensing up. You noticed how Choso loses some of his loser appearance without the school uniform. He wore black sweatpants, a baggy sweater and his usual glasses. If he was one of your friends you might have complimented his look.
" Uhh.. You can sit on the bed… Or on the chair, you decide." He said in his usual passive tone. You huffed, sitting on his bed. It smelled like him. You were quite disappointed by the normality of his room (yes, you were expecting an otaku room: full of action figures, bodypillows and posters).
That miniskirt…I bet she did it on purpose. The sight of a pretty girl like you on his bed made Choso’s mouth go dry. He hated you but at the same time it was impossible to not admire your beauty.
" Hope you don't expect me to do anything about that project, do you, Choso?" You said with a smile on your lips. Obviously, Choso knew he would do most, if not all, of the work. He nodded, muttering something to himself. Before you could add any mean comment Choso sat down and started typing on his keyboard. Your initial idea was to find something weird, or childish, in his room and bully him but it was all so… Normal. With the excuse of going to the bathroom you explored the house.
Oh. One of his brothers is Itadori Yuuji? You looked at one of the photos hanging in the hallway. Although he didn't attend your school, Itadori Yuuji was quite popular. And he was popular for good reasons: athletic, generous and nice. You returned to Choso's room, who seemed focused on his work. You looked at him. It annoyed you to admit it but—he had a nice face. Cute, if you had to be honest. But he was unable to maintain a good self-image: he stuttered and couldn't keep eye contact, dark circles partly hidden by the nerdy glasses he wore, hair loose and messy and his posture screamed "I'm weak.”
Ugh. How can Choso be related to Itadori?
After a while: " I'm getting bored." You said as you approached Choso. His heart missed a beat, the last time you had said those words one of your friends put out a cigarette on Choso's palm just to entertain you.
" Uh, umm.. I doubt there's anything fun here..."
" Don't you have any games on your computer?" Choso was taken aback by your question.
" …Y-Yes?" He answered but Choso was sure you had other intentions, like finding another way to bully him. Standing up, you placed yourself beside him, leaning against his chair. Choso could smell a sugary scent from your clothes and hair, it was intoxicating. You watched how his long fingers trembled.
Oh, his hands are so big.
" Uh, uhmm y-you can sit here… I'll get another chair— Before Choso could add another word you sat on his lap. His body froze in surprise. Your ass on his crotch. You rested your back on his muscular chest, waiting for him to start playing. How was he supposed to respond to this?
" Oh, I like this game." You commented as if nothing was wrong.
“ R-Really..? I’ll p,play it then…”
He’s already hard.
To hold the controller Choso had to practically hug you. The way he would struggle to stay still and whisper an "I'm sorry" every time he accidentally touched you was so funny to you. But it was even more fun to rub your warm pussy against his erected sex, feeling his hot breath against the skin of your neck.
“ D-Don’t … P-Please, don’t move like that..” He nervously gulped. Because of that miniskirt Choso could sense the slightest movement you made against his body and thanks to that miniskirt you could feel how Choso's erection throbbed against your panties.
“ Like what?” You teased, shifting your weight again. Choso's body was trembling. You could feel his heartbeat racing. He was squeezing the controller to maintain his calm, feeling his inside burning at the softness of your body against his crotch. The miniskirt you were wearing was not helping at all, allowing Choso the sight of your lacy pink panties. It made his head dizzy and his erection harder, almost painful. How can a girl like you be so naughty?
" I.. S-Stop teasing me." He finally spoke up, trying to sound angry. His voice shaky and weak. You smiled and finally turned your body, now face-to-face with him. The movement resulted in another rubbing against his cock, now covered with a layer of sticky precum. Choso's face was red with embarrassment, his eyes glossy and he tried his best to hold back little moans by biting his lip. He was a mess.
" Choso~" Having you in front of him was wayy worse. You were so pretty and so close , your soft tits pressed against his sweaty chest. On your face that mischievous, almost cruel, smile. Your cheeks pink and your breath left shivers on his skin. His tip poked your wet cunt. You could feel he was big.
Maybe eight inches? It’s always the quiet ones.
" I, I can't take it anymore, p-please..." He whined like a little puppy. You gently moved a few strands of hair behind his ear and took off his glasses, throwing them on the floor. Shit, he was really handsome like that. You kissed him. Choso’s first kiss. Your lips soft and hot, leaving trails of a cherry gloss on his. He moaned inside your mouth, unable to follow your lewd rhythm. Your scent, your taste and your touch were making him obsessed, resulting in a messy and incoherent kiss.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is too much. He reached his limit. The same second you tried to reach the tip of his cock with your fingers he came, sobbing your name and leaving a cum stain on his pants.
“ I,I’m s—sorry…” His voice breathless, dick still twitching in pleasure. He continued to apologize with teary eyes, without knowing how erotic that scene was to you.
I want to fuck him.
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lost-pen-name · 8 months ago
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Tom Ryder x fem!reader
Summary: You were about to leave Tom’s suite when a heavy rainstorm started. Not wanting to risk trying to drive in such poor conditions, you grabbed your stuff from your car, returned back to his door, and asked if you could stay the night. He, begrudgingly, obliged and allowed you to stay in the guest bedroom.
Genre: Fluff, cuddling, comfort
Word count: 2176
Warnings: none
{ you came? you called. }
You were sitting alone in bed, trembling like a leaf, when the power went out in Tom Ryder’s house.
The light flickered for a moment before going out completely, along with the rest of all things electrical. The house was unsettlingly quiet and felt off without the hum of the fridge or air conditioner.
Lightning crackled outside. You pushed yourself a bit out of bed, debating on the idea to go look for Tom, just so you wouldn’t have to be alone. But that would mean leaving the safety of your room.
“Tom?” you called out instead. You looked back at the large window across the bedroom. Even with the curtains drawn, light flashed across the room sporadically.
Farther across the house, you swore you could hear someone moving around. Your heart pounded and you waited, holding your breath, hoping it was Tom coming to check on you. You just needed to know another human existed right now.
There was a THUD and a curse that came after. It sounded like it came from farther down the hall.
A second later you heard an “Oi, what happened?” That familiar voice came from your doorway and you breathed a sigh of relief.
You breathed a sigh of relief and swiped at an unshed tear. You prayed your voice won’t have too much desperation in it. “You came.”
“What? Of course I did. A woman screams my name out in the middle of the freaking night, I’d be crazy not to come.” He sounds agitated and tired but you don’t care, you’re just clinging to the fact that there’s someone here now. “Why’d you call for me? I hope you know I almost died on the way over here. The power’s out, I can’t see a bloody thing.”
Lightning lit up the room and you caught a glance at Tom Ryder standing in the doorway, wearing only a pair of loose fitting sweatpants. A series of thunderclaps shot an arrow of anxiety through the bubble of thought of how gorgeous he looked even at 1am.
You closed your eyes and tried to breathe deeply. “I... I didn’t want to be alone. Not with this storm raging outside.” You gestured towards the window just as thunder booms again.
You heard him sigh. “What am I supposed to do, crawl into bed with you?”
The idea of having someone close to you overpowers all the reason in your brain screaming at you that this wasn’t good for your business relationship. The fear of being alone in this storm trumped all rational thoughts.
“Could you? Even just for a bit?” you said.
There’s a moment of silence before you hear his footsteps and he’s at the side of your bed. You look up at him and gulp. Maybe this was a dumb thing to ask.
“Fine. But give me some blanket.” Without another word, he’s on the bed, crawling into the covers. His bare feet touched yours for a brief moment before you quickly moved your body far away that side of the bed.
He doesn’t seem to notice or care. You watched him as he shifted around, getting the pillow right for him, the blanket pulled a bit over to his side before he relaxed and breathed heavily.
You can feel your heart hitting against your chest painfully and you don’t know if that’s now entirely because of the storm or if it had anything to do with sharing a bed with Tom.
He breaks the silence. “I called Gail, asked her what the whole situation is about the power and all that.” You see him wave his hands around as he talks. “She said it’ll take a few hours, maybe even ‘til morning before we get any power back. So, we’re in it for the long run.”
That was longer than you had hoped but you guessed you should’ve expected it to take that long. “Okay,” is all you can manage to get out through your tight throat.
You both grow quiet again. The awkwardness of this all keeps hitting you so you break the silence. You twisted your head to look at him. “Sorry, I know this is kind of weird.”
“Yeah, well,” he said dryly, “it’s mainly weird because I didn’t need to know how many stuffies my employee has. How old are you again?”
You’re dumbfounded. He’s choosing now to judge you? And for what, bringing in the small stuffie collection you had in your car? That was so like him. It was oddly both reassuring to have the normalcy and frustrating. “You’re such a jerk, Tom Ryder,” you said.
Quiet. Then an indignant harrumph. The blankets shifted and you felt the mattress dip as he pushed himself off. “Well, fine, if that’s how you’re going to treat me.”
You rolled over to his side of the bed, trying to ignore how nice and warm it was. “Wait!” You grabbed his hand before he went too far. “Tom, wait, please don’t go.”
He peered over his shoulder at you. “Make me.”
Your heart sank a bit. There he goes again, always with the attitude. “Well, you’re kinda proving my point here,” you whispered under your breath.
“What was that?” He turned fully around and squinted down at you.
Goodness gracious, he kinda does look glorious standing there, his bare chest making it hard to formulate sentences, his usual strategically tousled hair ruffled and unkempt. And he doesn’t seem to notice you’re still gripping onto his hand, not that you mind. It’s hot and rougher than you expected from a privileged celebrity.
Thunder claps interrupt your ogling and a nervous ripple hits you. The anxiety might’ve left for a bit but the thought of Tom leaving you alone again with the storm sends all of the worry back into you.
“I didn’t actually mean that, you know that. I was joking around,” you said. Your free hand clutches at the covers.
“I come in here and, and, what? I’m being incredibly nice to you and you insult me as a joke?” His tone carried a bit of a whine to it.
“I know, I’m sorry.” You inhale and exhale with a quiet and quick, “pleasedon’tgo.”
His frown softened and he glanced down at our hands entwined. Lightning danced across the room for a moment, lighting up the room enough for you to spy the smallest smile from him.
You gaped at him. What did you say that earned you a gentle smile from THE Tom Ryder?
Before you can think about it too much, he sighed and leaned down to get back into bed. “Hey, scoot over.”
You let go of his hand and moved back over to your side of the bed.
He fell into the covers and put his arms behind his head, cushioning his head on them. He sighed again. “You absolutely should be grateful, you know.”
“I am,” you whispered.
Thunder booms, closer than any of the other times and you winced. Your breathing is becoming too fast, too irregular.
Tom turned on his side, angling his body to face you. “You’re really scared of storms then?” His usual condescending tone is gone. It’s replaced with something softer.
You nodded, even though he probably can’t see it in the dark, and pulled the covers up to your chin. “Ever since I was a little kid.”
He made a thoughtful sound in the back of his throat. “Do you know why?”
“No. I just get anxious whenever there’s a storm. I can never go to sleep when there’s one happening.” You closed your eyes and put a hand on your chest, trying, willing yourself to just breathe normally.
A huge series of thunder crashes outside and the house shudders, breaking off any thoughts you had. Your body reacted in an almost fight or flight instinct. Without even stopping to think, you slid further into bed and towards Tom, pressing your body against his, your face and his pecs aligned. Your hand wrapped around his arm and you squeezed your eyes closed, praying that the noise will come an end. It sounds like the grand finale of the thunderstorm, like the storm is proud of this last act and wants to show to the world just as loud and powerful it can be. The heat coming from Tom’s body and the solidness of him is the only thing tethering you and keeping you from going too far over the edge.
Finally, it’s quiet. You panted and opened your eyes. His flesh is the only thing in your vision. Your eyes focused on a freckle on his chest and there’s a small part of you that has the urge to kiss it. A blush creeped up with your neck. You realized your nails are digging into his arm and you snatched your hands away.
You can not believe you just freaked out and clung to your boss. In bed. This had to be against so many employer-employee work ethics. If this doesn’t get you fired, you don’t know what will.
“I’m so sorry,” you said, sitting up and starting to push yourself back away from him.
His hand shot out and stopped in your tracks. “No,” he said thickly.
Just... “no?” You have no clue what that meant. He’s probably angry at you now or thinks you’re even more childish, reacting like a baby koala clinging to her mother just because of some storm. With a sinking feeling, you overcome your fear of whatever you might see on his face when you look at him and glanced over at him.
Even in the dark, you can tell his expression is the most serious you’ve ever seen in the months you’ve worked under him.
That was not what you were expecting.
“What did you do about these storms when I wasn’t here?” His voice is low, almost stern.
You pushed your hair back awkwardly. “I don’t know, wait it out? Hide under my covers? When my sister stays at my place sometimes, she’ll calm me down.”
“And how does she do that?”
You swallowed hard. What is he thinking? What is he planning to do with this information? “She holds me until it’s long over.”
Tom’s hand tightened a bit at that. You looked down at it on your arm, you had almost forgotten it was there.
“Well.” He sniffed loudly. “Come here then.” He let go of you and opened his arms, like he’s welcoming you to a hug. The most muscle toned and chiseled hug ever.
Your heart pounded. “You really don’t have to do that, you’ve done more than enough. And the storm sounds like it’s almost over.”
“If your sister does it until the storm is completely over, then I’m going to do it better and do it all night.” He waved a hand in exasperation. “I’ll feel like a heroic knight saving a princess. So stop being stubborn and come here.”
His words are said so easily but the weight of them hits you like a brick. Sure, he always likes being better than everyone and doesn’t like being beaten at anything.
But this was excessive, even for him.
And somehow, in a weird way, it was sweet.
Not knowing what else to do but listen to him, you awkwardly scoot closer to him. His arms wrapped around you and pulled you in, forcing your body to be pressed against his and closing whatever distance you had. Now your head is next to his pecs again, his strong arms around you, cocooning you in. His skin is warm and you can faintly hear his heartbeat. It’s a steady pulse, its gentle rhythm is calming to you. You can feel his chest as he inhales and exhales and you start to match his breathing.
The world has calmed. You feel calm. And safe, surprisingly. Safe and secure with the world’s hottest superstar but to you, a flawed man you’re slowly beginning to realize you enjoy spending time with. Maybe you’re starting to like him, not just tolerate him.
“Thank you, Tom,” you said quietly as you stared up at the ceiling.
He shifted slightly and you feel his sigh ruffle your hair. “Mhmm.” It’s just a sound but it sounded like an audible shrug, like he didn’t think you meant it.
You smiled softly and closed your eyes. “No, really. This is helping. So thank you.”
His chin nestled in your hair as he got comfortable. “Whatever, I’m glad to help.”
Did he sound embarrassed? You grinned bigger. “You’re the best boss ever. You’re like... my hero, my knight in shining sweatpants.”
He groaned. “Now you’re laying it a touch too thick. Be quiet now, I’m trying to sleep.”
You covered your mouth with your hand and laughed quietly. “Okay, okay, goodnight, Tom.”
He murmured a goodnight and pulled you in further, his legs wrapped around yours, practically hugging you like you’re a body pillow. It’s nice. Really really nice.
You smiled again and leaned into the hug.
Okay, maybe you do kinda like him.
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wutheringcaterpillar · 8 months ago
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A Bump In The Night: Part 4
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Find part 3 here
Summary: You’ve fallen ill and Lizzie decides to pay you a visit whilst Tommy is away. Meanwhile a certain Shelby goes missing and Tommy may or may not have something to do with it.
Warnings: Incest
taglist: @calmingmelody96@sunflower-tia
Weeks had passed since the family meeting, an agreement finally being made of what was to happen. This relationship and the rumors running around town could ruin business, especially with Tommy’s run for office.
The plan was to divert the public eye from making any speculations that you and Tommy were anything but a sibling relationship. 
The idea upset you immensely when Tommy agreed that he would no longer be picking you up from school, that you could no longer come visit him at work or be holding hands in public. No more lap sitting, or surprises, you needed to be distanced in public. It upset Tommy as much as you but he always had a better way at hiding his emotions then yourself.
Dwindling around, the house was quiet, no one home  but yourself on this cold winter today and you planned to make the best of it.
Stepping around in Tommy’s room, your hands skimmed through the fabric of his wardrobe wanting to find something comfortable to wear that smelt of him while he was away for the day.
You ended up pulling his wife beater off the dirty pile of laundry, slipping the thin fabric over your skin, feeling peace and coziness at last.
Knocking the pillow of the bed in the process of leaving, your heart warmed when the shirt you wore the first night your brother took your virginity was tucked beneath it.
The sound of your stomach rumbling moved you forward from the treasured moment.
Heading to the kitchen and searching the cupboards and the refrigerator, you pulled some eggs and bacon out, slapping the food onto the pan, you turned on your favorite radio station, cracking the window open to let the smoke out.
Everything was going smoothly until you sat down to eat the scrumptious breakfast.
Your stomach churned, the smell of the smoke descending from your plate making you nauseous, head swirling in discomfort.
There was a knock at the door at that moment but the bile rising into your throat was far more important than whoever was outside waiting.
Rushing to the closest thing you could find, you depleted the contents of dinner from last night into the porcelain sink, retching and hacking while trying to find a moment to breath.
The knocking continued obnoxiously, the loud sound not at all helping the building headache that was slowly turning into a migraine.
“Give me a moment!” Wiping at your chin, you turned the faucet on to flush the vile contents down the drain.
Rolling your eyes, you opened the door without a hint of a kindness on your face, to your surprise it was Lizzie standing there with her arms folded, matching your facial expression.
“Well you look like shit.” She pushed past you, not waiting for an invite and noting whose shirt you were wearing.
“Where’s Tommy? That shirt doesn’t quite fit you does it?” Closing the door you groaned, not having the mental capacity or patience to deal with her at this very moment, much like many other times.
Can the woman not take a hint that her and Polly’s plan was going nowhere.
“He’s at work. Don’t you have somewhere to be?” She raised an annoyed brow at you, but you weren’t phased by her poor portrayal of dominance.
“I suppose he doesn’t know yet then but we moved the wedding forward to next week.” What in the hell was she talking about? Confusion and anxiety settled in, worsening the pain in your head which seemed to bring Lizzie a tremendous amount of joy as she noticed your discomfort. The truth of the fact was that she wanted Tommy all for herself, she has for a long time but she was never going to have him the way you did, never again.
“He’ll never let James marry me especially against my will. Were you not present for the conversation yesterday? Or were you too busy lusting over someone who could care less about you.” Her jaw clenched at your snarky response, muttering something under her breath before leaving out the door in a fierce fury.
Smirking to yourself, you went upstairs drawing a hot bath with bubbles, attempting to ease your aching body and settle your stomach. When that didn’t seem to work you resorted into snooping through Tommy’s desk drawers in search of a pain reliever or something but there was nothing. He always did have good hiding spot for his stashes. Going into Ada’s room you found a bottle of motrin, surely she’d understand being a woman herself.
Wandering back into Tommy’s room, you rested your head on the pillow, curling up into a small ball in hopes of going to sleep.
It wasn’t long until the medicine kicked in and you drifted off into sleep.
A few hours later Tommy pulled into the driveway, retrieving his suitcase from the passenger seat eager to see his little princess. Having to distance himself was extremely difficult, he found himself constantly worrying about if you were alright or not. Ascending the stairs, Tommy opened his door excitedly onto to find you laying in bed with a bucket on the floor beside you. Your face was sweaty, a bit warm when his palm lay delicately on your temple. Concern immediately consumed him. 
“Have you fallen ill my love? What’s going on?” Still in his suit he crawled in the bed beside you, arms cradling your feeble body protectively.
“I don’t feel well. I’ve been throwing up all morning and just having constant tummy aches.” Tommy gave you a look of pity and concern. It wasn’t often you had gotten sick, it was quite rare and when you were it was bad. 
Turning around, you nuzzled your temple into the crook of his neck, hands grasping at the fabric of his jacket in desperate search of comfort-ability.
“Missed you…Lizzie came today. She said the wedding is next week.” You felt Tommy tense around you. What did he have to do to make her and James understand that his word was law? 
Surely Pol was in on it, she seemed to always step her foot in a place it didn’t belong. 
“I can assure you, no one will be marrying my princess and if they want to test to see if I’m bluffing, the outcome will be tumultuously heinous. Now don’t worry that little head. I’m home now love, let’s rest.”
As days passed Tommy noticed you were still throwing up, still needing to be in darkness as the sunlight pained your aching head. He was worried more when you mentioned how going to the bathroom seemed to he an issue now, specifically number two. You were embarrassed to tell him but didn’t trust anyone else in the house to say.
Tommy knew the signs, he wasn’t an idiot. Currently he was pacing in the hallway outside the bedroom trying to figure out a way to tell you. He himself was overjoyed but he can just imagine how frightened you’d be. 
“Thomas!” Poll screamed after him from downstairs. Rolling his eyes he descended down the dwindling steps, frustration vibrant in his voice.
“Will you keep your voice down. She’s sleeping, that’s the best thing for her right now.” She scoffed in response, demanding that they go to his office then to which he begrudgingly obliged.
Tommy closed the door quietly while Pol lot a cigarette, helping herself to the table of liquor in the corner of the room.
“What did you do with him!”
Tommy simply smirked, taking a seat behind his desk and settling his feet on the wooden surface non-chalantly before lighting his own cigarette.
“And who might that be Pol?” Her hands swiped away the belongings on the desk, papers and pens scattering onto the hardwood floor, yet he remained unphased by her angered outburst.
“You know damn well who!” Raising his eyebrows in frustration, he stood up from his seat, pointing directly in your aunt’s face.
“I told you that you wouldn’t like the consequences if you went to war with me. When will you learn that Y/N is better off without him. Michael will remain safe where he is as long as you keep your meddling nose out of our relationship.”
“It’s not a relationship Thomas she is your fucking sister! We had an agreement I-“ Tommy raised his finger, cutter her off abruptly.
“No. No. Our agreement didn’t include this joke of an arranged marriage. Tell me, when are you going to start caring about what she wants? Don’t think about me, think about your niece for once eh? She has feelings to consider too y’know. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go tend to my ill girl.” Pol stepped in front of him in an effort to block him from moving, causing him to merely laugh menacingly.
“You don’t want to do that. Maybe you should think about that bastard of child of yours as well. Who knows if you’ll ever see him again.” He shoved past her as she stood there in disbelief. How was she the bad guy for wanting to put a stop to this? For wanting to do the right thing? She screamed out in aggravation.
“If you harm a fucking hair on his head I will take your fucking heart out myself, you hear me?!” He ignored her, walking back toward your room more concerned about you, stressing over what he believed to be true.
When he walked in you were already sat up, hugging your pillow tightly, unliking the conflict of the situation. Tommy pursed his lip, apologetic for the yelling waking you up from your need slumber.
Taking a seat beside you, he leaned in toward your touch. His thumbs moving in a circular motion. He only did that when he was in deep thought?
“Is everything okay Tommy?” He looked down at your bucket, noticing the layer of new contents and how your eyes still appeared tired though you’ve been resting all day.
Placing an endearing kiss to your temple, he settled you in his lap, wiping a strand of hair behind your ear as his eyes searched for a hint that maybe you had come to the conclusion, yet you appeared just worried and confused.
Adding up how long it has been in his head, the math seemed definitive.
“My love, you might very well be pregnant.”
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xetlynn · 1 year ago
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Twilight- Youngest Shadow: Chapter Two, First Day
(Alice X Reader X Jasper)
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[One] [two] [three]
“You two good to go on your own?” Charlie questions us as we’re almost out of the door. “I’m not showing up in a cop car on my first day.” I straight up say causing the two to snicker.
“Yeah I agree with [Name] here.” She shrugs and we go outside. I tug my helmet on, purposefully forgetting my jacket in the house. Lugging myself over my bike I tiredly turn it on.
I wait for Bella to get her truck started and I drive behind her.
Getting to the school with her loud truck and my motorcycles rev going, heads turn our way. I park right by her and I take my helmet off, throwing it into her truck bed. I go up beside her once she was out of the vehicle. All eyes were on us and I knew Bella was mortified.
She still has her earbuds in, listening to music even though that wouldn’t help her anxiety that she’s experiencing right now.
A few people said hi to us, the majority talking about us. It was annoying to put it simply.
I saw this kid with glasses come up to us, he tried speaking to me as well but I walked away leaving him to flirt with only Bella.
Of course I have to deal with something more agitating.
“You’re one of the new sisters, right?” A girl with some ponytail questions me. I raise an eyebrow at her. “What? I’ve literally been going to schools here since we were little. Wow.” I act offended, watching her eyes widen and I start laughing.
“My names [Name]. I’m the younger sister.” I tell her, her shoulders fall and she forces out a laugh too. “I’m Jessica,” reaching a hand out. I guess I can try to be more friendly.
I take her hand, “nice to meet you.” I smile, “do you guys have a good Volleyball team? Softball team?” I take my hand back once I ask the question.
“Volleyball team, yes. Softball, I guess. I don’t really pay attention. I’m the captain of the volleyball team.” She proudly states and I smirk.
“When’s tryouts? Next year.” I ask,
“Oh due to something that happened earlier in the year we’re doing it now. Last day to tryout is today.” She explains.
“I guess I’ll see you there?”
“Well there’s so many forms you have to fill out, it’s unfortunate but you always have next year.” She seems to be intimidated and I didn’t even tell her about the fact I was the captain in Arizona. And that I have scholarships already for colleges who want me to play for them.
“I already have the forms, doctor wise. And I’m sure my dad wouldn’t mind signing anything.” I wink, walking ahead of her to find a seat in our classroom.
I wish I could’ve seen her face after that.
Oh well.
Day 14 after my first day, I was on the Volleyball team. Co-Captain. Something Jessica was secretly but not secretly upset about.
Practically yelling it into the universe without realizing it.
Luckily out of everything I have a class with my sister, unfortunate to her it was P.E. And believe it or not we’re playing Volleyball and Basketball. Bella was treating the Volleyball as if it was poison or something that could kill her.
“Block it Chloe! Good attack!” There’s Jessica, of course I have two classes with her. She’s treating this game as if it was a real one. In reality no body could give a rats ass about any of this. It’s just so they don’t get a bad grade.
I wasn’t putting in my all, kind of standing next to my sister, hitting it for her whenever it came our way. This time I wasn’t so lucky and the ball came flying toward her. I tried to get it beforehand but I ended up bumping into her causing the ball to go right for one of the basketball players head.
I cover my mouth trying my best not to laugh, failing. My sister gasps, both of us run over to him.
“Ow,” he rubs the back of his head.
“Are you alright? I warned them not to let me play.” She tells him in an embarrassed tone.
“It’s only a flesh wound.” He grins, pretty sure he doesn’t realize I’m there too. She physically looks relieved she didn’t do much damage.
The bell rings announcing class is over.
“You’re Isabella right?” He asks before she gets the chance to walk away. “Just Bella.” She corrects him.
“And you’re her sister, um..”
“[Name].” I tell him in a dry tone. Clearly not as welcoming as my beautiful sister beside me.
“I’m Mike Newton.” He goes back to staring at my sister like she’s a statue in a museum.
Right as I go to leave, because clearly I’m not in this conversation, Jessica puts her arm over my shoulder. Dragging me to be in between Mike and my sister once again.
“She’s got a great spike, doesn’t she? Almost better than her co-captain of a sister.” She jokes and we all kinda force out a chuckle. I get second hand embarrassment from her try to jabs at me for becoming the co-captain and not taking her spot.
“So, you guys are from Arizona right? Aren’t people supposed to be tan down there?” She takes her hit at Bella. I went to step closer to her, going to say something back but Bella spoke before I could get a word out.
“That’s why they kicked me out. And she just couldn’t let me leave without her.”
Mike laughs, and Jessica looks at him from the corner of her eye, forcing herself to do the same.
I feel my sister tense up from the attention so I finally get us out of the situation. By just straight up walking away and dragging her with me. That didn’t do too much because they ended up following us after we left the changing room. All the way to the cafeteria.
Normally we would go to Bella’s truck to eat, but due to being followed Bella thought we could join them. Make some friends I’m guessing.
Eric from earlier this morning sat between Bella and Mike. “Mike you met my home girl and her badass sister?”
That’s the nickname I get? I was trying to get away from him away not seem cool to him.
“Your home girl?”
“It’s first grade all over again and you two are the shiny new toys.” Jessica tells us, Bella smiles awkwardly and I press my lips tightly together.
Suddenly a flash goes off, blinding my sister and I. We look up at the photographer. “Sorry, needed a candid for the feature.” The girl sweetly smiles.
She wore glasses, brunette hair pulled into a low ponytail.
“Features dead, Angela. Don’t bring it up again.”
I make a face at Eric who just said that. No reason to be mean to the girl.
“I got your back, baby. You too sweetheart.” He winks in my direction making me gag internally.
“Guess we’ll just run another editorial on teen drinking.” She says clearly disappointed.
“Sorry. There’s always eating disorders or Speedo padding on the swim team.” My sister says and I choke on my saliva after trying to stop myself from laughing. “Wait that’s a good one.” Angela says obviously not getting that it was kind of a joke.
Then the doors open to the cafeteria. Everyone’s attention going to these gorgeous people who look older than I guess they are.
Two girls and two guys walk through together. “Who are they?” Bella leans to the two girls at our table.
I watched the couple behind the first one that walked through the doors. A tinier girl with short hair, her boyfriend with honey-blond hair who’s taller. My eyes met with the girl but I didn’t look away. She smiles a tiny bit.
They sat down at the table that’s furthest from everyone else’s.
“The Cullen’s.” Angela says, Jessica leans in towards us even more.
“Doctor and Mrs. Cullens foster kids. They all moved down here from Alaska two years ago.” Jessica gossips.
“They kinda keep to themselves.” Angela adds in.
“Because they’re all together. Like together together. The blonde girl, Rosalie. The big dark haired guy, Emmett.” Bella was paying attention like her life depended on it. Rosalie looked exactly like a model. Her man looking like a pro wrestler, less serious than his girl.
“They’re a thing, I’m not even sure that’s legal.” Jessica judges them but of course she still finds them attractive.
“Jess, they’re not related.” Angela stands up for them even though I’m sure they could careless what Jessica thinks of them.
“But they live together.” She rebutted before continuing on.
“The little dark-haired girl is Alice. She’s really weird.” Alice was a part of the couple I was staring at. She seemed light on her feet too.
“She’s with Jasper, the blonde who looks like he’s in pain. I mean, Dr.Cullens like the foster dad slash match maker.” Jessica slightly jokes towards the end. I will admit the situation is a little weird but we don’t know their story. She shouldn’t be so quick to judge.
“Maybe he’ll adopt me.” Angela sighs, Bella and I laugh. I like her. Then the door swings open again, the last Cullen with no foster match beside him.
I guess he looks like a model too.
“Who’s he?” Bella seemed intrigued, not taking her eyes off of him. “Edward Cullen.” Suddenly he looks over as if he heard his name from so far away. His eyes met with my sisters.
He seems confused and Bella looks away but I stare him down trying to get a read off of him. “He’s totally gorgeous, obviously. But apparently, no one here is good enough for him. Like I care.”
She obviously cared.
I watched the boy hide a smirk and I raised an eyebrow. We made eye contact and I don’t waver down.
“Anyway don’t waste your time.” She tells Bella.
His face was like a rock. Barely any emotion showed.
Weird.
I finally looked away. “I wasn’t planning on it.” Bella says but she takes a peek at Edward who was now out right staring. His expression seemed frustrated. I watched her become unnerved, now hiding behind her hair.
I roll my eyes at the whole situation, the lunch bell finally rang and I separated from the group. Angela was kind of behind me. Like she wanted to say something but was too scared. I took a deep breath. At least this wasn’t Jessica.
“Hey.” I smiled, slowing myself down to look at her. She jumps a tiny bit. “Oh, hey.” She smiles in return. “What’s your next class?” I asked, she seemed shocked that I was talking to her. Again Bella’s more welcoming than I am. So this is understandable.
Bella has that resting sad face, the one that makes people gravitate towards her, make sure she’s okay. As for I have a resting angry face. My eyebrows downturned, also it seems like these people have problems with piercings for some reason.
“Uhm, Algebra 2. You?”
“Oh same, twins.” I add little jazz hands making her warm up to me a little more.
“Aren’t you a sophomore though?” She quizzes, trying to remember if she was correct.
“I’m a Junior. I skipped a grade or so. When I was younger I needed to be with Bella for everything.” I laughed at the memory of little me, taking tests to be in classes with my older sister.
She chuckles too, “that’s cute.” She says, both of us entering our classroom. “There’s an empty seat next to me, c’mon.” She lead the way.
The class was basically just taking notes.
At the end of the day, I go straight to my bike, grabbing my helmet from Bella’s truck bed. I didn’t notice two specific stares as I put my helmet on, getting on the bike.
I then watch Bella get to her truck, visibly upset about something as she slams the door shut after getting in.
I wonder what that’s about.
I already told Charlie I was going to the Reservation to see Jacob and the other guys. Charlie and Bella are gonna go out to eat together at his favorite coffee shop. Once getting there, Jacob comes out with Quil.
“[Name]!” They both shout, sprinting my way we aim kicking down the kick stand then taking off my helmet.
“Nice hair.” Quil teases and I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I left my brush at home today.” I frown giving them both hugs. “Where’s Bella?” Jacob looks around and I place a hand on my heart. “You too?”
“Am I not good enough anymore?” I pretend to be sad, I nudge Quil, Jacob furrows his brows confused by what I mean.
“Everyone at school is enchanted by Bella.” I inform him, we start walking. “I’m not hurt by it. But it’s super noticeable being next to her.” I laugh mainly to myself because I’m sure they wouldn’t find it funny.
“Well we notice you.” Quil pushes me. Jacob doing the same thing.
“I’m glad I have you Quil because Jacob totally still has a puppy crush on my sister.” I make fake kisses towards him, Quil roars into laughter, Jacobs face warming up in response.
Everyone knew about it, seemingly except my sister. It was no secret.
“That’s when I was like 9. Can’t we move past that?” He whines, but he was partially serious. I sat there quietly for a moment. “No.” I giggle with the other boy next to me as Jake was offended.
“So when’s your next game? Can we go, see you in action?” Quil questions me, he was excited to ask though he definitely just wanted to see the hot girls on the team. I smile, shrugging.
“We have one in two days. You guys are welcome to come. I know Charlie wants to bring Billy.” I nudge Jacob. “Well I’d be happy to come with them.” He says.
“I’ll write my schedule down for you guys. Billy can talk to my dad to see what’s best.” I try to hide my excitement from them. My mom usually forgot about my games from how much she runs around. Either being 30 minutes late or not coming at all. She always felt guilty once she realized. Apologizing over and over, ending in her getting my ice cream or some weird craft she made.
Dad always called me before and after my games. Even watching the tournaments on YouTube that our school put on.
I’m a middle blocker, normally doing the spikes, or obviously blocks. My serves were also known for being powerful.
“We’ll be there for every single one.” Quil tells me and I grin.
“I’ll count on it then:” I smirk.
“Want to put your talent to the beach? Everyone’s down there.” Jacob asks.
“Hell yeah, I’ll even race you fuckers to the car.” I laugh, all three of us racing to the vehicle that Jacob ends up driving.
Chapter two😚
Edited🤟
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