#I have to try and turn that disgust and anger for ''canada'' into love and hope for the first peoples of turtle island

[asthevermincrawls]

the thing is. you can't let anger overtake your heart. it will turn you bitter and helpless, chewing your own tongue till it bleeds while nothing gets done. you have to let your love for the indigenous peoples of turtle island, of aotearoa, of australia, of palestine, to guide you to action, to ignite your heart in hope. justice is possible. many hands make the burden light

[weirdestbooks]

British Michigan AU Oneshot

The Misguided Aunt (Wattpad | Ao3)

Michigan had heard about the new colony, about Sandwich Islands, the country that his Grandfather had taken under his wing. He had heard about her…relationships with America, how she thought that America was good, that he was family. 

That he can be trusted.

Michigan was eager to avoid her for that reason. He didn’t know what nonsense America had told her about him, but Michigan was pretty sure that Sandwich Islands would try to recorrupt him with America’s delusions.

Unfortunately, he was not so lucky.

“Michigan,” Grandfather asked a few hours after Sandwich Islands had arrived, “I want you to help me.”

“Yes?” Michigan asked, eager to do anything he could to help his grandfather.

“I need you to help me show Sandy that America is using her and that she shouldn’t trust him and should begin to distance herself from him,” Grandfather asked, placing a gentle hand on Michigan’s head.

“Are you sure I’m the best—” Michigan began before Grandfather’s hand suddenly tightened around his hair, pulling it sharply.

“You are the only colony of America that has been decorrupted. What better person than you to show her the delusions and backwardness of America?” Grandfather said. Michigan nodded.

“I understand. I apologize for questioning you,” he said. Grandfather smiled, and Michigan felt Grandfather’s grip on his hair loosen.

“Good boy. Now, I think it’s best you start now, before she takes to lashing out. Ireland has sworn to be troublesome, so the sooner you help her, the less likely she is to be corrupted by his madness,” Grandfather said before pushing Michigan forward some. Michigan stumbled before recatching his balance and rushing off to find Sandwich Islands.

She was easy to find despite having the same flag as so much of his family due to the air of confusion and unfamiliarity around her.

“Are you Aunt Sandy?” Michigan asked, just to verify her identity. The colony startled before nodding.

“I am,” she said, “Who are you?” 

“My name is Michigan,” Michigan began, watching her for any trace of recognition. Much to his disgust, she seemed to recognize his name, a sign that America was probably feeding her lies about him. 

“Oh! Lika’s so—”

“I’m not that bastard’s son! I am Canada’s son and Britain’s grandson, and I’ve always been British because I refer to acknowledge anything between myself and that…that monster,” Michigan snapped, anger flooding through him. He hated this. He hated to be associated with America. He couldn’t wait until the day America dropped this delusion and Michigan could finally live in peace.

Sandwich Islands’ eyes widened as she took a small step back, seemingly caught off guard by his anger.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her tone nervous. “I had been told you were Amelika’s son.”

“I’m not. That…America took me away from my family; he hurt me and tainted me. I was lucky enough to be saved, but…other territories have to suffer under him. I…I hate him,” Michigan said, trying to ignore the pain that came with those memories, the months of learning who he really was and where he belonged. 

“That…that doesn’t sound like Lika. Any time he brought you up…you could hear how much he misses you,” Sandwich Islands said. Michigan scowled.

“It was probably all just a trick to fool you. He’s probably trying to steal you from Grandfather because he’s upset that I wanted to be with my real family. You’re just being used by him to hurt Grandfather,” Michigan reasoned. It made perfect sense. Why else would America care about any of his half-siblings if not to corrupt them and turn them against Grandfather?

“I am not! Lika loves me, and he cares about me as a person. He’s not using me to try and get back at Beretania,” Sandwich Islands said, crossing her arms with a small huff. Michigan suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. How could she be so stupid to believe America about anything?

There must be something about the savage mind that would explain it, as Michigan could see no other reason that someone could believe something so delusional. Well, he could think of one other reason, but Sandwich Islands was a favorite of his Grandfather, and Michigan was not going to risk the punishment that would probably follow, pointing out how she was mad.

He knew Grandfather would just see it as Michigan looking for an excuse for his failure. Even if she were mad, Michigan would still be expected to convince her of the truth.

“How can you know that? How can you dismiss the pain I suffered just so you can feel like you’re in the right? How can you do any of that and claim you aren’t being manipulated?” Michigan asked, his voice a mix of anger and confusion, slowly getting louder.

He needed to show her she was wrong, and that meant pointing out the flaws in her argument until she had nothing left to argue with. Then, she would have to agree with him and realize that he was right.

“I don’t know what kind of pain you are claiming to feel, but it’s obvious that Lika loved and adored you,” Sandwich Islands said, sounding annoyed, like she was the one arguing with someone who was defending a nonsense claim.

“He only cared about using me to make himself look better! I never meant anything to him! Don’t act like you know my personal relationships! He killed my brother!” Michigan snapped before turning away. He knew he had a job to do, but he needed to calm down before he let his anger get out of hand.

At least he gave Sandwich Islands something to think about. Hopefully, with time, she would realize her mistakes. If Grandfather hadn’t promised to give her independence, then he would have had the time necessary to teach her the error of that way of thinking, as he did with Michigan. 

She would be better off with them forever anyway, safe, away from America, and safe from anything else that would harm her. 

America was hurting her, and Grandfather wanted to help her.

Why couldn’t she see that?

[waitimcomingtoo]

fine line - p.p

pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Synopsis: there’s a fine line between love and hate and you and Peter dance it on a regular basis

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

When your dad told you he had recruited a boy your age to the Avengers, you felt a little flame of jealousy bubble inside you. Without any superpowers of your own, you were often left out of the heroic and dangerous missions the Avengers went on. Your dad did his best to include you by letting you help out in the lab and tag along on lowkey missions, but that all changed when Peter started coming around.

A lot of things changed when Peter started coming around.

The way he seemed to replace you, and so effortlessly at that, boiled into a deep resentment for the young hero. He was always there, occupying the spaces you once did, and you resented it. You resented him.

Just not as much as you resented the way he made your heart flutter when he looked at you.

~

“What are you guys doing?” You asked as you walked into the lab to see your dad. Peter was by his side, as he always was, making you roll your eyes. Peter smiled brightly at you as you sat down, and you gave him a tight lipped smile back.

“Hey, Princess.” Your dad greeted. “We’re adding back up back up jets in the butt of Rhodey’s suit in case the back up jets in his legs fail.”

“I call them the weapons of ass destruction.” Peter said gleefully as he held up the jets.

“Yeah, hilarious.” You said sarcastically and turned to your dad. “Um, daddy, I thought we were gonna do that.”

“Sorry sugar plum. I needed to get this done before the trip later and sticky fingers said I shouldn’t wake you.” Tony apologized to you and a familiar feeling of anger filled your tummy. This wasn’t the first time you’d found Peter doing something with your dad that you were originally supposed to do. It seemed like every plan you made, Peter weaseled his way in and took your place. You looked at Peter with narrowed eyes, to which he responded with a sympathetic smile.

“Did he now?” You said, just a little bitterly.

“Maybe you can help us next time. Did you sleep well?” Peter asked politely, and you just rolled your eyes.

“Did I sleep well? What are you, my Fitbit?” You snorted and looked away from him. Peter’s heart sank at yet another rejection from you, but he kept his mouth shut and continued working. Your eyes shifted back to him once he went back to his work, feeling a pang of guilt for being short with him.

“What trip are we going on later?” You directed your question only to your father, acting like Peter wasn’t there.

“Cap got a hit on where Bucky might be. We’re heading to Canada to check it out.” Your dad explained as he twisted a screwdriver.

“Okay. I’ll pack my stuff.” You got out of your chair and went to leave before you heard your dad sigh.

“Sorry Princess, but this is just gonna be an avengers thing.” He said with apologetic eyes. “We only have room in the jet for four and I promised Peter-“

“It’s fine.” You cut him off, not wanting to hear about Peter again. “I’ll just hang out with mom.”

“It’s really cold in Canada anyway. It’ll probably be a bad trip.” Peter offered to make you feel better.

“Yeah, thanks weather boy.” You teased and looked at your dad again. “Can we hang out tomorrow then?”

“Of course. Mall and a smoothie?” He asked, making you smile as he suggested your signature thing to do together.

“Mall and a smoothie.” You nodded, happy that he was finally making time for you. You rested your chin in your hands and watched them work, feeling slightly better now that you made plans with your dad that Peter couldn’t infiltrate.

~

You tripped over a cardboard box the next day, stumbling right into Peters arms as he caught you. You looked down and saw a bunch of boxes outside your old playroom, boxes with Peters handwriting on them.

“What is all this? You’re blocking the hallway.” You snipped at Peter as you stepped out of his arms.

“Sorry, Y/n. I’m almost done.” Peter apologized as he picked up another box. “Hey, I like your shirt.”

“Almost done with what?” You ignored his compliment, despite it making your face flush.

“Moving in. Mr. Stark gave me this room so I wouldn’t have to commute here everyday.” Peter explained. Your eyes widened up upon hearing this, not believing your dad would let Peter move in without asking you.

“You’re moving in?” You nearly yelled, making Peter clutch his box in fear that he did something wrong.

“Yeah.” Peter nodded. “Maybe we can hang out more now that-“

“Sorry, I’ll be right back.” You cut him off and rushed to the kitchen, finding your dad rummaging through the refrigerator.

“What are you doing?” You demanded.

“Making a smoothie. Want one?” He offered as he shut the refrigerator with his butt.

“No thank you.” You shook your head. “And I’m talking about Peter. Why did he tell me he’s moving in?”

“Oh, cause he is. Now, do I want straw-bana or kale-berry?” Your dad pondered as he tapped his chin.

“Why does he have to live here? He has a house.” You reminded him.

“He has an apartment smaller than the first dollhouse I bought you. Princess, he was basically living in a cardboard box and sleeping under newspapers.”

“This isn’t an dog pound, daddy. We can’t just take in strays.” You whined, wishing he could take your side for once.

“He’s not a stray. He’s my son.” Tony quipped as he booped your nose and crossed the kitchen. Your heart sank to your stomach at his words and you felt your face fall.

“No he…no he isn’t.” You sputtered in a weak voice.

“Cheer up, sour patch. Think of it this way, now you have a brother.” Tony shrugged and dropped some blueberries in the blender.

“I don’t want a brother. Our family is fine the way it is.” You insisted, feeling the jealousy come back in a wave when your dad called Peter his son.

“He’s a good kid, Princess.” Tony said in a tone that told you the conversation was over. “Give him a chance. He’ll surprise you. Hell, he surprised me.”

Before you could respond, Peter entered the kitchen with a happy smile.

“Hey Mr. Stark. Hi Y/n.” He waved at you and put some bowls in the cabinet.

“Yeah, hi Parker.” You said dismissively, wanting him to leave so you could finish talking to your dad.

“You ready?” Tony asked Peter as he poured the smoothie into two cups, handing one to Peter.

“Yep. I’ll see you in the theater.” Peter nodded as he clicked his glass against your dads.

“What are you guys doing?” You wondered, watching them interact with disgust.

“He’s got me hooked on this show about teenagers in a glee club. The writing is horrible, I love it.” Tony beamed as he took a sip form his cup.

“I thought we were gonna hang out today. You know, mall and a smoothie?” You reminded him, feeling a bubble of hurt that he didn’t remember.

“Oh, sorry buttercup.” Tony realized he forgot. “I promised Pete the treat I’d watch the show with him. Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded sadly as your dad cupped your chin and left the room.

“You could watch with us if you’d like. They sing a lot of the songs you like.” Peter extended an invitation to you when he saw your disappointment.

“Thanks for the sales pitch, but I’m good.” You mumbled at him and left the kitchen, missing the solemn look on Peters face as you went.

“She doesn’t like me.” Peter sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at his smoothie.

“No, she does not.” Tony laughed, cutting it short when Peter looked at him in dispare. “Oh, not funny. Don’t sweat it, kid. It took me a long time to like you too. She’ll come around.”

“Okay, good.” Peter nodded, content with the answer. “Wait, what?”

~

“FRIDAY, what’s my assignment?” You asked the screen outside the lab as you reported for your job the following day.

“Good morning, Y/n.” FRIDAY greeted. “Mr. Stark asks that you repair bullet holes in one of the suits.”

“Cool. Let me in.”

“Access granted.” FRIDAY chirped as the doors opened. You only got a few paces into the lab when you saw Peter sitting at a table, sighing in annoyance at the sight of him.

“Hello.” He said weakly, knowing you wouldn’t thrilled to see him.

“What are you doing in here?” You eyed him skeptically as you got some tools off a shelf.

“Not much at the moment.” Peter shrugged, trying to make a light hearted joke.

“Well you can’t stay. I have an assignment.” You told him, a little proudly at that. You were finally given a task after being idle for months.

“Actually, I have to stay.” Peter said, looking a little weary of you as you neared him.

“Why?”

“I am your assignment.” He grimaced, anticipating your reaction to be bad.

“You have bullet holes?” You folded your arms and eyed his body.

“Canadians aren’t as friendly as I thought.” Peter chuckled.

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes. “Where’s the suit?”

“Right here.” Peter pulled it out of his backpack. “Theres three of them. The holes are in the front. And the back. They sorta went through.”

“Went through?” Your eyes widened as you worried for him. “As in went through your body?”

“Canadians really aren’t as friendly as I thought.”

“You said that already.” You stated as you laid his suit out on the table.

“Sometimes jokes are funnier when you say them twice.” Peter explained, coming to stand by your side.

“I don’t need you to explain humor to me.” You grumbled as you began working on the holes.

“Feels like I do.” Peter muttered, adverting his eyes from you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped your head up to glare at him.

“Nothing.” He gave you an obviously fake smile. “Nothing at all.”

Doing your best to ignore him, you got back to your work. He was close enough that you could feel his breath in your neck, your elbows touching every-time you pulled on the thread.

“Is there a reason you’re hovering?” You said suddenly, losing your ability to focus with him that near.

“I just want to make sure you’re doing it correctly.” He shrugged, leaning down to check your work. Your jaw dropped a little, feeling offended that he didn’t have faith in your to do it correctly.

“So what, you think I can’t patch a bullet hole on my own?” You laughed shortly as you raised as eyebrow at him.

“Well I know the suit better than you do.” He said simply, taking pleasure in getting a rise out of you.

“I helped design it, Parker.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “I know it just as well.”

“Then you won’t mind me making sure of that.” Peter shot back, running his finger over the newly patched hole.

“Whatever.” You scoffed and went back to work. “Just because you’re my dads lab rat doesn’t mean you’re mine.”

“I didn’t say I was.” Peter leaned again, watching your work closely.

“And yet.” You looked up with a sarcastic smirk, your nose nearly touching his from how close he was. “Hovering.”

“Sorry.” Peter mumbled and took a step back.

“You said there were three holes. I only see two.” You realized as you held the suit up.

“That’s weird. I definitely got shot three times.” Peter tilted his head as he stared at it.

“Did you find three bullets?” You asked him, a rare moment of civility.

“No. Just two. Oh…” He trailed off when he realized where the third bullet was.

“Yeah. Oh.” You mocked him. “Take your shirt off.”

“What?” Peter furrowed his eyebrows at your request as you went to a different shelf in the lab.

“You can’t leave the bullet in there, you’ll get an infection.” You reminded him as you set medical supplies on the table. “Take your shirt off.”

Peter hesitantly pulled his shirt over his head once you turned around to disinfect the table. You turned around, needle in hand, and turned a deep red at the sight of him.

“Good.” You swallowed thickly. “Just leave it on the counter.”

“Are you trained to do this?” Peter worried as he folded his t shirt. You did your best to hold eye contact, but your eyes slipped every now and then.

“I’ve read about how to do it.” You said quietly, not trusting your voice to be steady.

“Have you ever done it before?” Peter wondered as he stared at the large needle.

“I’ve read about how to do it.” You repeated to avoid the question.

“See? You said the joke twice. That makes it funny.” He smiled smugly at you and you made a face.

“Shut up and get on the table.” You groaned and he complied, laying on his side to let you work. You rounded the table to work on his back where the exit wound was located.

“Oh good.” You commented as you rested a hand on his bare rib cage. “It’s right at the surface.”

“Okay. Try not to kill me while you’re back there.” Peter looked at you over his shoulder so you stuck your tongue out at him.

“I won’t.” You grumbled, hesitating a little as your stared at his wound. “Um, this is gonna hurt.”

You felt a moment of sympathy for him, knowing he was in for a lot of pain. His skin was hot, even under your surgical glove you could feel it. In a brief lack of judgment, you squeezed his arm to comfort him.

“I’m Spiderman. Nothing hurts - SON OF A BITCH.” Peter screamed as you pressed a hydrogen peroxide soaked gauze pad to his wound. You quickly took out the tweezer and fished out the bullet, all while Peter hissed in pain.

“Sorry sorry sorry.” You stammered and threw the bullet into a dish. “It’s out.”

“Oh my God. I feel like a pencil sharpener.” Peter whined as he rubbed his back near the area.

“Sit up. I’ll patch you up.” You said in a kinder tone then he was used to hearing.

“You don’t have to.” Peter looked at you as he sat up straight.

“Yes I do. You’re my assignment.” You shrugged, trying to portray that you couldn’t care less when in reality, you did. As much as he got under your skin, you didn’t want to see him hurt.

You poured more hydrogen peroxide on a gauze pad as you cleaned his wound, feeling his body retract at first contact.

“That’s cold.” He winced, twisting his body around to avoid the pad.

“It’s also gonna save your life.” You grumbled. “Hold still.”

“Ow.” Peter jolted when you applied numbing cream to the wounds. “Cold again.”

“Can you stop whining?” You yourself whines as you blew on his cuts.

“Can you be a little more gentle?” He retorted. “Just try to be nice to me for five minutes. It can’t be that hard.”

“I am nice to you.” You hissed as you started your sutures. “I sewed up your dumb suit and I’m cleaning your stupid cuts so you don’t get an infection in your dumb ass body. I am nice.”

“Said the joke twice.” Peter quipped, grinning at you over his shoulder to rub it in.

“Shut up.” You sneered. “Stop fidgeting.”

“You think I’m funny.” He said in a sing song voice. “That’s fine. I get it all the time.”

“Oh my God. Could you be anymore irritating?” You groaned as you put the last bandaid on his back. You walked around the table to patch the front, looking up at him shyly as his bare chest rose and fell.

“Easily.” He snickered. “Wanna see?”

“I’ve seen plenty, trust me.” You rolled your eyes, meaning more than one thing with your words. Peter smirked a little, able to heart your rapid heartbeat with his advanced hearing. You rested a hand in his shoulder as you cleaned his chest, the wounds in the front stinging less as they already began to heal. Peter watched you intently as you worked, admiring the way you bit your lip when you concentrated.

“You know, if you stopped acting like I was the devils spawn for a minute, you might actually like me. We’d get along.” He laughed softly, making you look up at him. Your eyes locked and for a moment, he saw kindness in them. It quickly retreated as your face hardened, looking down to avoid his gaze.”

“Thanks for the life advice but I think I’ll pass.” You replied sarcastically as you opened a bandage.

“Is there a reason you don’t like me?” Peter honestly wondered. “Is it something I did?”

“No.” You grumbled, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment. “Be quiet, I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Oh, I get it.” Peter nodded like he knew something you didn’t.

“You get what?” You took the bait, looked up at him in angry confusion.

“You like me.” Peter smirked, making your whole body ignite. Your face twisted in shock, followed by anger as you stumbled over the right words to say.

“What?” You sputtered. “What could possibly lead you to believe I like you?”

“That’s the most obvious answer.” Peter pretended to yawn, making you even angrier. “You’re mean to me because I you like me. Classic playground logic. It’s cute if you think about it.”

“I do not!” You stamped your foot, feeling frustrated that you couldn’t come up with a better argument. He had caught you red handed and you didn’t see a way out.

“Okay.” Peter’s voice was dripping with false innocence. “I believe you.”

“Listen Parker.” You growled, leaning your hands on either side him and gripping the table. “Let me make this clear, I do not, nor will I ever, like you. I don’t even tolerate you.” You shook your head slowly while holding his gaze. “I don’t want you here, okay? My life was a whole lot better before you came around and ruined it. If it were up to me, you’d be thrown out on your ass before lunch. I do not like you.”

“And yet,” Peter leaned forward, tilting his head a little, “your heartbeat says something entirely different. You know what they say, there’s a fine line between love and hate.”

“You’re all done.” You ripped off your gloves with a loud snap. “Put your shirt back on.”

Peter smirked as he tugged his shirt over his head, loving the angry flush he left on your face. You gave him one last glare before storming out of the lab, your footsteps echoing loudly as you went.

“See you later!” Peter called cheerfully, laughing when you let out an angry huff.

 To be continued…

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[xx-narcissa]

Can’t Wait Any Longer

warnings: kidnapping, poisoning, noncon

a/n: i wasn’t comfortable with full on smut right now, i’m still easing into it. but i hope that this was written to your liking!

pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Female!Avenger!Reader

request: “We can have dark! r x nat where r is an avenger and is in love with nat but nat never pays attention to her, so r decides to kidnap her maybe with some smut only if you feel comfortable.”

Masterlist

(not my gif)

Your blood boiled as you watched the scene in front of you. Bruce kissing her hand in front of everybody with no shame. He should be ashamed. That was your hand to kiss and he was just all on it! And she let him. Giggling and blushing like a middle school girl getting a love note from her crush.

“Aw. Young love.” Tony chuckled and took a big sip of his beer. You wanted to smack the glass bottle out of his hands for that comment. “Better enjoy it while it lasts, Bruce.”

Yeah. He better enjoy it. Because you’re going to make it your mission to take her back. Although you never really had her in the first place. But she’s yours. Bruce doesn’t deserve her. Nobody deserves her. Because they could never give her what you can. They could never love her like you do. She just doesn’t see that. Always brushing you off to the side.

It was a mission in Canada, so naturally it was pretty cold. And seeing as it was the middle of January, it was very cold. You offered her your jacket. “No, you keep it. I’m fine.” Even when you insisted, she turned you down. Yet later you see her casually sporting Steve’s jacket. What’s up with that? You wanted to confront her. What did his jacket have that yours didn’t? But Wanda assured you it wasn’t a big deal. And that’s not even the only time she’s done something like that. You and her were in the kitchen after a mission, and she complained about her shoulders being sore. So you offered to massage them, claiming you know a really good way to relieve tension. You didn’t. But it was just an excuse to be able to feel her. She turned you down. Then later she’s bragging to Wanda about how good Tony is at massages. What was so special about him? Nothing! But it seemed like Natasha would stop at nothing to push you away.

You don’t even know what you did to deserve that kind of treatment. Sure, you flirt with her a lot. But it’s never to a creepy extent. Just casual compliments and offering to do her favors. If she wasn’t into you, she could just turn you down using her words and then maybe you’d back off. But instead she was playing hard to get.

And that only made you want her more.

-=-

There was a mission today. A two person mission. You and Natasha. This would be a perfect chance for the two of you to get closer. It’s a week long stakeout. Usually you don’t like stakeouts, since you feel it’s a waste of your powers. You can literally summon fire with your hands and not get burnt and they want you to watch a building? How boring. But since it’s with Natasha, you won’t complain. Alone time with her is a reward in its own. And it gives you a chance to finally execute the plan you’ve been working on for weeks.

“Guess this is where we’re staying for the next week.” You sighed as the two of you entered the little apartment. The wallpaper was moldy and peeling, there were roaches crawling around, and it smelled like 50 diseased rats died in there.

She gagged and put her bag on top of the counter. “Well let’s just try to get this done quickly, so that we don’t have to spend any extra time here. It’s disgusting.”

Nodding in agreement, you continued to explore the apartment. There was only one bedroom with only one bed, so you made a mental note to let her sleep there, since it looked cleaner than the couch. The shower was just as disgusting as the main room, but you brought shower shoes so you could live with it. After your quick tour, you met back up with Natasha in the main room, where she was going through her bag.

“I’ll take the couch. You can have the bed.” You offered and sat down on the counter.

“Are you sure? That’s nice but I don’t want to take it all for myself. We could alternate if you want.”

“No, it’s fine. And trust me, the bed is way cleaner so if I were you I’d just take it.” You snapped. She flinched, and you knew you took it a bit too far. It’s just annoying when she constantly declines your offers when you’re just trying to be nice and make her comfortable. “Sorry. Just…yeah. You take the bed, I’ll go check the perimeter and see if there’s anything to eat nearby.”

After your perimeter check you picked up some sandwiches at the small subway they had down the street and brought them back up to the apartment. “Thanks, I’m starving.” She sighed happily when you walked in with food. To be honest, being back in that nasty apartment killed your appetite a bit, but you hadn’t eaten all day so you sucked it up and ate.

The two of you ate and got to talk a bit, getting to know each other some more. Well, she got to know you. But you already knew plenty about her. You’re just a good listener like that. The most important thing was that she was starting to trust you more, which would be a key part in putting your plan into motion.

Once you guys finished your mission and got all the information you needed, you still had a day to spare. So you decided you’d stay and just not tell them you were done yet, so you can get a little vacation, even if it is in a dingy, dirty apartment. It was your last morning there, so you wanted to surprise Natasha with some homemade breakfast. Special recipe.

“Good morning! You want pancakes?” She thought for a second before nodding. Great, she took the offer with none of her usual resistance. You placed some pancakes on a plate and gave her a glass of orange juice. “Tell me if you like it.” You smiled and sat down next to her to watch her eat. She ate the first bite cautiously, then ate the rest rather quickly.

After drinking all the juice, she slammed the cup onto the table. “Those were the best pancakes I’ve ever had.”

“Well, you know, I could always make you more.” You smiled and ran your fingers up her arm. And she smiled back. That’s a win in your eyes.

“I think I’ll have to take you up on that offer. But I’m pretty full right now. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go take a quick nap.”

You waved her off and then put the dishes in the sink. Everything was falling into place and you couldn’t be happier.

-=-

When her eyes opened, she didn’t know what was going on or where she was. It seemed like some abandoned factory by the looks of it. Her clothes didn’t belong to her. And she couldn’t even get up to look around, seeing as she was tied up on the floor.

In the shadows, she saw something moving. Maybe it would be her captor. And she could kick their ass and escape.

“Oh, you’re up! Great.” Her heart and her mouth dropped at the voice. “Sorry about the location. Couldn’t find anywhere comfortable on such short notice.”

She looked up at you with tears forming in her eyes. “What’s going on, why are you doing this? Are you being brainwashed or something?”

You laughed at her stupid questions. “What ever do you mean? This is all me, Natasha. I’m sorry to have to do this, but you brought it onto yourself. You could’ve had this.” You motioned towards yourself and got closer to her. “But no. You wanted to toy with me. Play hard to get. Pretend you don’t want me and then flirt with everyone else right in front of my face. Well I’m done playing those games. So no more playful flirting. I’m taking what’s mine.”

“You’re sick. I swear, I’m not to get out of here and then I’m going to kill you! Slowly and painfully.” She screamed and squirmed around in her restraints.

All her struggling was amusing to you. It gave you a good laugh. “I know you’re a trained assassin, but it’s not like you have superpowers. Without a gun you really pose no threat to me. Hell, if I’m not careful I could kill you right now.” Your hands ignited, displaying your pyrokinesis, just in case she had forgotten that you could burn her to a crisp whenever you would like.

It worked, because she shut up. She looked down at the ground in silence, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Oh, cheer up. Once your spirit is broken down enough and I know you won’t try anything funny, I’ll untie you and we can leave and live a happy life together. I might hurt you, but it’s just because I love you. I love you so much and it hurts me when you flirt with other people. So once you’re as loyal as I am, then we’ll get out of this smelly place. Okay?”

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t do anything. That angered you. So you slapped her in her face. The force being enough to topple her over. And that wasn’t even the hardest you could’ve hit her. “Answer me, bitch!” You yelled and got close to her face, probably getting some spit on her but you didn’t care. “Do you understand me?”

She nodded frantically and tried to move away from you. So you let her squirm for a second before pulling her back. Seeing the Black Widow shaking in fear really turned you on. You needed to see her. To feel her.

“You know, you should thank me. I changed your clothes and I didn’t even touch you down there. I restrained myself.” You grabbed her hips and dug your nails into them, pulling her closer. “Mainly because I want to hear you when I fuck you. I want to see what your pretty little face looks like when you’re all filled up. But also because I’m decent. So, yeah, you’re welcome.”

You closed the gap between you two and your lips collided with hers. For you it was heaven. It was erotic and steamy and everything you’ve ever wished for. But for her it was a completely different story. It was hell. Sloppy, painful, and lacking any true feelings. Even if she wasn’t kissing you back, you still enjoyed yourself. Your hands went underneath the shirt you gave her, cupping her braless breasts. She involuntarily leaned into your touch, moaning softly, allowing you to slide your tongue into her. Your hand slid down, cupping her heat through her panties, feeling the wetness of her arousal. “See? You’re enjoying yourself,” You pulled away from the kiss to say. You kissed down her neck, biting and leaving marks. She hated how her body betrayed her and got turned on. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it. You were in control.

And she hated the feeling of emptiness she felt when you stopped and stood back up, leaving her still on the ground. “Yeah. We’re gonna have so much fun. Not yet, but soon. Until then, I’ll be back. I’m going to go get some food. You stay here.” You laughed at your own sentence, “Get it? It’s funny ‘cause you can’t go anywhere!” You continued to laugh until you had left the warehouse, leaving her alone and confused.

You were gone for probably two hours. But to Natasha it felt like days. The whole time she was looking for a way out, yet there was nothing. You were thorough with this place, making sure there wasn’t anything sharp she could reach to cut the rope, or anything she could climb on to get out through one of the windows.

When you came back, Natasha was curled into a ball silently crying. “Cheer up. I got you some food from this nice ramen place. Maybe I can take you there one day.” You put the food down on the floor in front of her and even gave her some water.

“You know, they’re going to wonder why I never came back. And then they’re going to find me and kill you! Pervert!” She spat. Instead of arguing back like she wanted you to, you laughed and walked away, leaving her alone to eat. The rest of the day she sat there thinking about how alone and scared she was. She didn’t know if she’d ever see her family again.

You won. This time.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Three)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Two ※※※※※ Chapter Four

My mother spent the night with me and early in the morning I managed to convince her to go home and sort out her own things. Stephen was supposed to arrive at 8 am and I didn't want her here when that happened, she wouldn't like to see him at all.

“If there's anything I'll call, you can go, really.” I assure her, who goes reluctantly.

The clock struck five to eight and I was for the thousandth time running my hands through my hospital gown and my hair. My hands were sweating and my stomach was churning, I stared at the door as if I wanted to open it with the power of my mind, until it opened.

It was shocking to see him so different from what I remembered. His hair was shaved and bleached, almost white. Now he had a colorless rose on his neck that took up half of his left side and a piercing in his septum. He was a different person, just like me, it really had been years.

“Only Marnie McGonagall manages to remain exuberant even all run down.” he cracks a wide smile to break the tension. “These are for you!” he hands me a bouquet of daisies. They're not my favorite, but I thank him.

“Thank you, they are beautiful. Thank you for coming.” I try to control my breathing. It's all so strange.

“I was surprised by the call, I swore that after you left you would never speak to me again.” he throws himself on the chair beside the bed.

“So our breakup was real?”

“Yes, but not the way you were told, you met this famous guy and fell for him. We had already broken up when I started going out with Bethany.” he talks as if he is talking about the weather. The mention of him and Bethany together makes me nauseous, maybe it was jealousy.

“My mother talked about cheating, that I caught you guys.” I introduce the subject calmly, I know how much Stephen hates to be accused of anything. He rolls his eyes like he' s saying ‘I knew it.’.

“It impresses me that you buy that, Lizzie. You know how much your parents hate me. You broke up with me, that's true, but because you met this guy. He bewitched you, and it wasn't easy to get over you.”

I take a deep breath trying to control myself. It was too much information, too much information. I had broken up with Stephen for Luke, this didn't make any sense. I loved Stephen, I still do. Maybe this memory loss was a chance for us to get back to the way things were before.

“Did you and Bethany...?”

“No! It didn't work out, then she moved to Canada with her family, it wasn't going to work out, and deep down…” he comes closer, sitting on the bed and holding my hand. “I still love you.”

I open my mouth, but can't say anything, the statement takes me in total surprise. Stephen seizes the moment and kisses me. Nostalgia overwhelms me and all the moments we have lived through take over my mind, but deep, deep down, something screams in my head, it wasn't right, it didn't feel right. It wasn't him.

I lower my head breaking the kiss, feeling more lost than before. Stephen holds himself in place, but my urge is to push him away. Something bubbles up inside me and it is not happiness or passion.

“I think it's time for you to go.” I let out a harsher tone than I expected. I still don't face his eyes, maybe out of fear, maybe because I can't bear to look at him.

“You call me here and send me away like this?” he asks incredulously and offended. “You are unbelievable, Marnie. I don't know why I still waste my time with you. Your memory may have faded, but deep down you are still under his spell.” at that moment I abruptly turn my face to meet his. I know that my eyes are burning with anger, and so are his.

“I said, it's time for you to go.” I say in a broken voice, listening to my heartbeat rise.

Stephen stares for a few seconds before he gets up, picks up the daisies, and slams the door. I sink into bed, trying to calm myself. It really wasn't one of my better ideas to call Stephen here, but maybe it was necessary.

I turn on the TV and flip through the channels until I notice a picture of me. I go back to the channel and turn up the volume. They are talking about my accident and without me being able to prepare myself, they play the video of how it all happened.

I hold my breath as the pickup truck crashes into my side, causing my car to spin on the road and crash into the pole. They play it one more time, but in slow motion. The tip of my nose tingles and my eyes start to fill up.

Still watching the TV, my mind brings back the moment of the accident.

"I crank up the starter and before I can send the audio, I feel a loud impact on my left side. A deafening noise fills the entire car. Quite faintly, I watch the track spin and feel the shards of glass hit me, before I give myself over to that uncontrollable sleep."

The video changes and they show my attending, I cover my mouth, watching my unconscious body being pulled from the car.

My stomach clenches and I feel like vomiting from the nervousness. I turn off the TV and grab my cell phone, going back to researching my life in an attempt to distract myself.

Unlike yesterday, I Google my name and see what headlines pop up about me. Some sites give a brief summary of my trajectory, which helps me a little.

I watch some videos of rehearsals, interviews, fashion shows, even those videos of paparazzi leaving restaurants, with him. I look again at Instagram calmly, photo by photo, video by video, even the stories archives. There are several parties, trips, slumber nights, bts from photo rehearsals, and a lot of stuff with him, again. Of course, he is your boyfriend. Asshole!

I barely recognize myself on the screen. The Marnie I watch is outgoing, funny and charismatic, and I was never like that, at least as far back as I can remember. Which leads me to believe that this Marnie, model, famous and full of important friends, is a character.

Leah, Noah, Calum, Ashton, Mike and Kyleen. They don't just seem like friends, they seem like my family, brothers, I don't know. While it is fun to watch some of these videos, of all of us fooling around and messing up, on the other hand it hurts not to have any memories of them.

“How is my little girl doing?” I snap out of my trance and run my eyes to the door. I feel my eyes water as I recognize the middle-aged man.

“Dad!” I hadn't realized the urge to cry until I saw him. Until I felt his embrace.

“ It's okay, my love. I'm here. It's going to be all right, I swear!” he comforts me while I soak his shirt.

“ I'm sorry.” I pull away, trying to control my tears.

“For what?” he looks at me curiously. I shrug, not knowing what to say. Lately I feel I have to apologize for everything. “Honey, none of this is your fault. This amnesia is just a sequel, in a little while it will go away and you will remember everything.”

“I hope so. Even because everything I've forgotten has been very hard to remember.” I comment, playing with the bar of the blanket.

“ It's been a busy three years. You went from just my little girl, to one of the top models of 2019. That's quite a breakthrough.” he laughs, which makes me crack a smile. Only my dad could make me find that funny.

“Apparently I'm dating a rock star.” I join in with him.

“A very nice guy, I must say. He gave me a Gibson guitar.” he widens his eyes, emphasizing how awesome that was.

“Dad, you play guitar?” that would be nothing compared to what I couldn't remember.

“No, but it is amazing to have it on the wall.” for the first time since this whole nightmare, I allow myself to laugh.

My father spent the rest of the morning with me. He told me about his new job and how he was traveling the world now, helping his boss. I don't know how my mother was dealing with all this, she hated to be away from him.

“Mom must not like this new job of yours at all, huh?” I ask, scraping my red Jell-O.

I glare at my father when I notice his silence. We were sharing the bed space, he also had a Jell-O and we looked like two little girls gossiping while stuffing themselves with ice cream. I find his silence strange and wonder if something is wrong.

“Dad?” I call him once more.

“I was trying to find the best way to tell you this.” he sits up straight.

“What? Did you and Mom have a fight?” that was normal, not that big a deal.

“No! Actually, a little more than two years ago, your mother and I talked and we thought it was better to go our separate ways... with different people.” he speaks very slowly, calmly, and a little fearfully. I blink a few times, taking in the words and what they meant together. They got divorced?

I sit up like him, feeling uneasy. I start to breathe deeply. My relationship went down the drain. My parents broke up. Bethany disappeared across Canada. Nothing, absolutely nothing, that I had before had survived.

“Honey?” he brings me back to reality.

“Why? What? What happened?’ I ask. He opens his mouth a few times, saying nothing, trying to find what to say.

“Things were not going very well anymore. We were arguing too much and not even looking at each other anymore.” he takes a deep breath, visibly uncomfortable. “And I had an affair with a woman from my old job, that was the end of it.” he says so low, I can hardly hear, and honestly, it was better not to listen.

I always grew up thinking that my father was the best man in the world. My superhero. Prince Charming from all the Disney movies. The kind of man I would like to meet in my life. And then I find out that my father was none of these things. He is just like all the others.

“How could you?” disgust overflows in my mouth. “You have a family.” again something bubbles up inside me.

“I have no excuse, no justification, I was wrong and I regret the way things turned out. It didn't have to be this way. Okay, today your mother and I are friends and we go our separate ways, but there was no need for all that suffering to happen.” he stares again at the jelly, ashamed.

Silence fills the room. Nobody knows what to say. I don't recognize the man next to me. I don't even know what is going on in my head at the moment, there are so many thoughts and assumptions that I feel like I'm going crazy.

“Have you found someone yet? I mean, are you still with that woman from your old job?” I ask softly, poking the skin on my finger.

“No, she was just a fling. It didn't work out. Your mother was seeing someone until last month, but apparently it didn't work out.” he shrugs, which shocks me a little. I know it's so natural for them, but I'm still absorbing it here. “I met someone, Meredith. We've been together for a year now.” he gives me a beautiful, passionate smile. “Let me show you some pictures.” He gets as excited as a teenager. “Unless you don't want to.” he looks at me fearfully.

“I want to.” I crack a tight smile.

My father is back to being the excited teenager as he shows me the pictures of Meredith and her children. Children?

“They're yours?” I ask slightly jealous.

“No, Kendall and Samantha are from her first marriage, they are twins.” he smiles. “But I love them as if they were my own, the same way I love you.” he gives me a kiss on the side of my head.

He passes me another picture and my heart races as soon as I see them both, he on my lap and she on Luke's lap. I hold up the cell phone and stare at the picture with an ache in my chest.

“This was at my wedding, you both looked beautiful.” my father comments softly. I bite my lip, trying to control my crying and smiling at the same time. We really did look beautiful.

“I always wanted to have brothers, remember?” I ask with my voice shaking. I pass another picture and now my father and Meredith are posing with the four of us.

“They think you are the best big sister in the world.” I grimace, letting the tears come over me. They are not from sadness. Honestly, I don't even know what they are from, but the feeling is good.

Around lunchtime my father left, as he was exhausted, he had come straight here from the airport after a 12 hour flight. I was alone for the rest of the afternoon reading, until my mother arrived at 4pm to pick me up.

When we left the room, I noticed that Luke didn't come, which I find strange, since I remember my mother had commented that he was coming with her.

“He had an upcoming incident with the band, but he should be at your apartment later.”

The fact that I have to wait longer to talk to him makes me nervous and anxious. I just wish he would show up soon so he could help me with everything and clear up the sea of curiosity.

Along the way, I am talking to my mother about her and my father. I was so distracted by the conversation that I didn't even notice when we arrived in front of a beautiful building.

“Are you sure we are at the right address?” I ask looking out the window. My mother laughs and gets out of the car. I live here?

When we get to my floor, I realize that there is only one apartment per floor. We must be at the wrong address. My jaw drops as I enter the hall of the apartment.

Right away I find a huge painting of myself on the wall to my left. I was wearing that strange make-up and an even stranger outfit. The tone is black and white, but I am sure that the color picture is very colorful.

“This was the picture of your first magazine cover.” my mother clarifies with a huge smile on her face. I stare at my picture again, still frowning.

I follow my mother into the living room, once again letting my jaw drop. I had a living room right at the entrance, to my right was the living room with a huge TV, and to my left was the dining room. Slowly, I walk through the space, looking at everything breathlessly.

“Is this my apartment?” I ask in surprise. My mother lets out a short laugh before confirming. “I bought it?” she nods. “With my money?” she nods again. “As a model?” she laughs. “Okay! This is still too much for me.”

I walk curiously around the apartment again, looking at the kitchen, living rooms and, of course, the bedrooms. Two guest rooms and mine. When I reach the second floor, I am confronted with a hallway full of pictures. They range from personal photos to work photos. I pay more attention to the pictures of me and Luke. We are a beautiful couple.

I go into my room and find everything arranged. I let the excitement take over me when I see the closet. I look at the clothes, amazed, besides several boxes of brands like Gucci, Prada and Chanel still unopened.

On the last shelf, I see an older looking box, the slightly faded color catches my eye. I pull out a small ladder and carefully pull the box onto my lap, it wasn't heavy, but doing this with a broken arm and a twisted leg is not easy.

I sit down on the closet floor itself and open the box, wishing I hadn't seen it and maybe never opened it. I gently run my hand over those little souvenirs with tears in my eyes once again. I need to stop crying.

Movie and concert tickets, dried flowers, empty peanut cans, cards, cabin photos, and beer caps, everything I lived through with Luke. The feeling that takes over me is almost suffocating. My body feels and radiates all that it represented, but my mind would not let the image load.

Underneath it all, I pull out a diary and, at the same time that curiosity eats away at me, fear also takes over. I close my eyes and open to a random page.

"I can't believe I modeled at NYFW. OMG! OMG! OMG! It's unbelievable. I'm going to need to watch the runway show about a thousand times before I can believe it."

I flip back a few sheets and stop when I see Luke's name.

"I know it's not a good sign that I'm thinking about him and being so close to him, but I can't help it. Luke is amazing. The way he looks at me, how he listens to me, how he understands me, and his kiss...I can't forget his kiss..."

“Sweetheart?” I hear my mother scream. I wipe away the tears and put the little box under the skirt of some dresses. I get up as fast as I can and walk to the bedroom door.

“Yes?”

“I thought I'd help you in the shower, what do you think? Get rid of that hospital smell.” I accept the idea, which sounds very good.

After a good shower, I put on some pajamas and get to know my room, opening all the drawers, looking at all the makeup, everything. I decide not to go through that box anymore, because I still don't know how to manage everything it represents.

Once again my mother calls me and I believe it's for dinner, but when I get to the living room I find a brunette girl and a guy with red hair.

“Hi?” I nod gracelessly.

“Hi!” they return the greeting a little nervous too.

I ‘know’ who they are. Ashton and Leah. They are in several pictures in my social networks, in my hallway and on the living room furniture.

I watch the brunette with long hair, crack a huge smile. I watch her fingers tightening, like a child trying to control herself. I smile fearfully, but it was enough for her to apologize before squeezing me in a hug.

“I know you don't remember me, but I am your best friend and I am so glad that you are okay.” I look at my mother, who is smiling, and at Ashton, with my eyes wide and patting her on the back.

“Leah, you don't have to suffocate her.” Ashton comments without manner, scratching his forehead.

She walks away gracelessly. I give her a smile, but thank her for the space. Ashton approaches a little fearfully and holds out his hand, respecting my space, but it is apparent that he also wants to give me a hug.

“You can hug me, I don't bite.” I joke, trying to break the tension.

He says nothing more and surrounds me with his arms. Unlike Leah, I manage to return the hug in the right way. His hug takes longer and I feel some tears on my shoulder.

“I thought we were going to lose you.” he squeezes me one more time, before pulling away, drying his tears clumsily.

“You won't get rid of me that easily.” I blink at them both.

“Well, the reason we came here was not just to see you. Of course we were worried to death and everyone wanted to come.” Leah begins.

“But we thought it better not to come all at once so as not to frighten you.” Ashton interrupts quickly. I thank him silently.

“Deep down, we wanted to bring you this.” she hands me a pen drive. “It's not perfect, but we made a powerpoint to explain everything that happened in these three years.” Leah gives a closed smile.

‘You made a power point?” I ask incredulously.

“Of course we did!” Ashton shakes his shoulders. “We hope it helps and that you remember something. Anything at all, any questions, just call.”

“Thank you very much!” I smile in appreciation for both of them.

“Don't you want to stay for dinner?” my mother offers. I look at them expectantly. They both look at each other and give a shrug.

“We don't have an appointment, right? It won't be a problem. The guys will just be really pissed off that they didn't come.” Leah warns Ashton.

“It will be a pleasure to have dinner.” Ashton smiles in appreciation.

Dinner was very quiet, I did most of the talking. They were very curious to know what amnesia was like and how I was feeling and dealing with everything.

“Depending on how things go for you this week, we thought we would have a dinner on Friday. Then if you feel comfortable, of course, you can see everyone again.” Ash suggests.

There is still time until Friday, but just the thought of seeing everyone makes my stomach turn. I know they are my friends and they know me, but I still get nervous. Not to mention that they are famous, I don't know how to deal with these people. Although I am too.

“That's fine, we'll confirm by Friday.” I open a nervous smile. “Huh, Luke didn't want to come?” I question, upset at his absence today.

How am I supposed to get to know and get close to him if he doesn't come?

I watch the two of them look at each other and wrap up the beginning of their answer. In the end, Ashton sighs and answers.

“He is having a hard time absorbing all this. He just needs some time to sort it all out in his head.” Ash shrugs, signaling that it was no big deal.

I understand that it is hard for him. I don't know how I would handle it if I were him, but I'm not going to pretend to be upset that he's not here either, although I can't do anything about it, I'm not going to force him to stay here if he doesn't want to.

“It's really weird having Luke as my boyfriend, you guys as best friends. It's so out of reality. It feels like I'm in a dream and soon I'll wake up.” I comment, playing with the cloth napkin.

“Look, the first time you handled and accepted all of this well. I'm sure you'll manage again.” Leah squeezes my hand on the table.

“So, a powerpoint, hm?” I change the subject not being able to prolong my curiosity any longer. Even though I'm scared, I want to see it.

Leah cheers up again and begins to explain everything very excitedly. With their help we go to the living room and I put the pen drive on the TV, ready to see what they have done. It is strange to think that this small object has all the answers I am looking for. Not to mention the fear of the unknown, in this case, the forgotten one.

“Ok, so this is Michael…” I watch her standing beside the screen, explaining everything to me, with extreme patience and good will. My god, she is an angel.

I look at all my friends and the things we have done. I notice how Ashton was a kind of older brother, overprotective, and Leah was a kind of sister. Always holding hands or holding arms. Or when we were drunk, trying to climb on each other's backs.

They put all the trips we took, my fashion shows and photo shoots, some interviews. It was a great summary. I stare at the screen feeling something strange welling up in me, I see flashes forming in my head, and I begin to force myself to remember.

“Don't skip.” I shout to her, not wanting to lose the flow of memory. “Play that video again.” I ask desperately.

I approach the TV watching Noah, Leah's brother, walking in front of the camera with a bag on his head and complaining that the product was burning. He was bleaching his hair.

" “Why does this shit burn so bad?” I hear Noah shouting from the room, pissed off.

“Because it's bleaching.” I answer, grabbing another cookie from the plate. I sit down on the couch next to Calum, who is very interested in the package of bleach.

“What do you think about me bleaching mine?” he asks, still focused on the package in his hand.

I stare at him for a few minutes, trying to imagine the look. I pout, signaling that it wouldn't look too bad, in my opinion.

“For God's sake, you're not going to do that ridiculous lock of hair again, are you?” Leah shouts from the bathroom.

“It wasn't ridiculous.” He defends himself loudly. “But I really wouldn't do it again.” he comments softly, making me laugh.

“OH MY GOD.” I hear Noah scream. We run into the bathroom to find his white hair, with a few colored dots, just like the ones in the bag.

I cover my mouth in shock. Leah starts to record trying to hold in her laughter, as do I, but we simply can't stand it when Calum reads the name of the pharmacy in Noah's head.

I see him leaning against the doorframe laughing with his hand on his stomach and eyes closed. Miserably, I still try to hold in my laughter, not lasting long and joining Calum, becoming almost breathless.

“Oh man.” he dries his tears, laughing again next."

“Noah didn't want to go out anymore that night. We ordered burritos and stayed at his place. Calum and I spent the whole night laughing about it.” I speak too fast, running over a few words. I replay the scene in my head a few more times still flustered.

They both look at me and Leah starts jumping up and down in celebration. I remembered, I remembered! I start yelling at her, celebrating.

“What's wrong?” my mother comes running from the bedroom.

“I remembered. I remembered Noah with bad hair!” I shout, out of breath. The three of them hug me and again we shout.

[derivativealigner]

I rewatched the second season of South Park and took so many notes that I had to split them into two parts. Like seriously, I took so. many. notes. And pictures this time. I started rewatching just in case I’d find some cool little facts to sprinkle into my fanfic but I went way too far and now there’s a million facts under this cut (including gay stan, a domestic violence psa, and craig fucking dying)

Stan doesn’t like hospitals, he finds them gross and he gets sick 🤮. Also the hospital in South Park is called Hell’s Pass hospital. Early seasons have the name as Hells Pass but it gets fixed later

Cartman has to sing all of Come Sailing Away by Styx if he hears a part of it. After he says this, Kyle sings the first part and Cartman has to sing the rest. Kyle does it again later, which is kinda mean

Cartman’s mom tries to abort Cartman, who is an eight-year-old child and thus cannot be legally aborted. Later, after she slept with Bill Clinton to change the law and make 40th trimester abortions legal, it turns out she meant adoption

Kenny sacrifices himself to turn on the generator to the hospital and save Dr. Mephesto’s life along with others. He says “I’ll fucking do it” then does it and dies, absolute legend

Cartman gets way too into his deputy role. He goes undercover, pretends to be a prostitute, says “Respect my authoritah!” a lot and beats people up with his police stick

Kenny’s brother first appears when Cartman responds to a call about a disturbance at Kenny’s house. Apparently there are like 10 adult family members in the house at that time. Kenny’s dad has a black eye because Kenny’s mom punched him. She says he can’t hold a job

Token sits in the classroom in season 2

Cartman starts hating hippies in this season, like a lot

Chef tells the boys that the right time to do drugs is in college

Ike’s name is Ike Moisha Broflovski and he was born in 1996, making him 2 years old in 1998 when this season aired

This is probably obvious but yeah Kyle and Ike are circumcised

Kyle says family isn’t just blood, it’s who you care about, and he says “That’s why you guys are more than just friends, you’re my family. Except for Cartman.”

Craig’s finally sitting in the classroom in S02E04

None of the boys like dodgeball

Clyde gets a dodgeball to the face and he cries :( and he’s the only one who cries by the way

Pip throws a dodgeball in Kyle’s face and breaks Kyle’s nose

When Kyle’s mom tells the boys about conjoined twin myslexia (which isn’t a real term) and says anyone might’ve absorbed their dead twin in the womb, Stan and Cartman run away screaming but Kenny and Kyle stay to listen. Kenny even leans in to look at the book “Freaks A-Z!” that Mrs. Broflovski is reading from, and when she leaves, Kyle grimaces and Kenny laughs

Stan’s mom (Sharon) calls Kyle’s mom (Sheila) when Stan is all freaked out and trying to put an icepick through his brain, and Sharon tells Sheila to get run over by a truck. Sharon is pretty mean in these early episodes

Mr. Broflovski doesn’t really listen to what Mrs. Broflovski is saying, bad husband >:(

South Park’s team is always called South Park Cows no matter the sport

The school nurse, Nurse Gollum, went to Colorado State University

I just realized Butters exists. I think he appeared before S02E05 but I didn’t notice but yeah he’s there with the dodgeball team, injured

Here’s a picture to make up for my disgusting anti-Butters bias

Kenny’s dodgeball uniform number is 69 obviously. Kyle is 7, Stan is 4, Cartman is 325

Sheila smacks Gerald in the face so hard he falls off his chair, lots of violence perpetrated by women in this show. Remember, don’t do domestic violence no matter your gender, it’s not cool

I realized after this whole Butters thing that I should’ve made more notes about Pip, so I’ll make a note about his anger issues now. When people call him French, he gets angry and throws dodgeballs at them

The boys launch a jelly roll at Ms. Crabtree and make her crash the bus. They do it just for fun

The kids somehow go to China in the school bus

Cartman references Moby Dick, but he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Kevin Stoley gets named in S02E05 and has his first speaking role when he says he has Chinese parents and after Cartman hears it he immediately says something racist. smh cartman, what a problematic fave

Cartman says “I love you guys 😊” but Stan and Kyle just stare at him and he goes 😐 “Eh, screw you guys 😠”

If Jimbo and Ned really fought in Vietnam, they youngest they could’ve been in 1998 is early forties, which means in the latest seasons they would be early sixties. Btw they met in Vietman

Jesus and Pals is a recurring TV show in seasons 1 and 2. Jesus just kind of lives in South Park

I just remembered that Terrance and Phillip are really old in canon, it’s so weird, like how can South Park canon still be changing, it’s been 20 years

Also the early seasons are casually racist who knew

Kenny flashes his ass on a tape the boys send to Jimbo and Ned’s TV show, which airs and at least 12 people see Kenny’s bare naked ass

Cartman really doesn’t like hippies in these early seasons. He throws a chair at Ned and yells, “Take that, hippie!” (Ned is in a catatonic state and did nothing to provoke this)

Jimbo and Ned live together I guess. Jimbo’s gonna take Ned home and show him some hardcore porn to snap him out of his catatonic state, good husband unlike Gerald Broflovski

Saddam Hussein is in hell and has a Canadian accent and is Satan’s lover in S02E06, I guess he died in Canada in the first episode this season but I wasn’t paying much attention since that’s the Terrance and Phillip episode that pissed a bunch of people off in 1998 because the audience wanted to know who Cartman’s dad is instead. It was kind of a boring episode so I understand why everyone was pissed, but it is funny that Matt and Trey did that so I’m not mad about it

Aww look at them!!! We’ve got background Style, the vaguest inkling of Crenny, and Cartman/Cake

I’d take more screenshots but it’s a pain since I’m watching legally and stupid legal websites block screenshots so I have to find youtube videos instead ughhhh piracy is the answer kids

Apparently there’s a huge waterfall and canyon somewhere close to South Park, maybe? At least in Stan’s dream

Mary Kay Bergman was an incredible voice actor. How the hell did she voice all the moms, Wendy, Shelly, principle Victoria, the mayor, Nurse Gollum, and fucking Ms. Crabtree??? Holy shit what a queen

Kenny has some feelings about death. He reimagines the episode where death boops him to death and in his version, he beats death the fuck up, then has ice cream and is happy 😊 But again, this is in Stan’s dream

S02E07 kind of establishes that nobody remembers Kenny dying because when Cartman tells a story where Kenny dies, Kyle questions how Kenny could’ve died then when he also died just a few hours ago when a giant monster took him

rip craig, he falls out the bus and into a canyon

But it’s okay because it was all Stan’s dream so everything in the episode is questionable. Everything after this is no longer a dream

Pip’s parents are dead and he has to go to summer school while everyone else is having a nice summer break

Officer Barbrady and the mayor are having sexual relations, I’m sure this is the most interesting note I’ve made so far. Idk I’m just writing everything down, this is how I enjoy things, I have no off switch

Ew summer bus stop, cursed

Kyle casually sings little tunes every once in a while, how cute

This is pretty obvious but Kenny likes dirty jokes, he laughs when Cartman innocently says he loves Chef’s salty chocolate balls (which are chocolate candy). Nobody else laughs

Cartman says “Screw you guys, I’m going home” or variations of it a lot in this season

So Stan throws up when he likes someone, right? Well, he’s watching an indie movie about two gay cowboys who start making out and he throws up, which is either a terrible homophobic joke or confirmation that Stan’s a little gay. I know which one I prefer

Kyle says Mr. Hankey is his best friend after Stan. Like I know it’s definitely canon that Stan and Kyle are best friends but it’s still nice to see confirmation, it’s very precious. Also Kyle is best friends with literal shit, so cute 😊

Kenny deaths:

S02E02 Kenny sacrifices himself by connecting a generator wire, which electrocutes him but brings power back to a hospital

S02E03 A tree falls on Kenny and crushes him

S02E04 Kenny falls in a grave and the gravestone falls on him

S02E05 The Chinese dodgeball team throws a ball at Kenny and he gets splattered against a wall

S02E06 Two guys pull on Kenny and tear him in half, as in one has the head and one has the legs

S02E07 A big scary monster plucks Kenny out of the school bus and carries him away. Also in Cartman’s fake memory of Fonzi jumping over cars, the motorcycle hits Kenny and crushes him against a brick wall. Kenny gets smashed against walls a lot, doesn’t he?

S02E08 Flashback: Baby Kenny has a firecracker and it explodes, sprinkling little baby Kenny parts everywhere. Later in the episode, current day Kenny dies when a giant firework snake bumps him off a stage and under a fence, which then crushes him.

S02E09 Kenny is playing with a yoyo outside a movie theatre when a bunch of people come outside and trample him to death. They say “Oh my God, I found a penny!” and “You bastard!”

I’ll post part 2 of season 2 in a couple days. I’m having way more fun writing these stupid notes than I thought I would (also gnomes is coming up soon and i am fucking ready for tweek)

[moonlightdreamzz]

NCT 127 — Their Black S/O Gets Disrespected By Their Friend Because Of Their Race. (Jaehyun, WinWin, Jungwoo, Mark, Haechan)

(Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Doyoung, and Yuta Version)

Request:👋🏾 I was wondering if you could do a reaction for 127 on how they’d react after seeing a friend disrespect their s/o for their race??? (or a friend of the s/o disrespects the member for their race, however you see fit) no rush either😘

Jaehyun:

He knew when his friends got drunk, they could get a little rowdy. Truthfully he was having second thoughts about bringing you around them in such a setting, but you were so excited. All week you had been talking about how you couldn’t wait to meet them and let them know you were his soulmate. Allow them to see you weren’t here to play him if they were having those thoughts.

It all started with a sly comment from one of the boys. You were in the bathroom, so his reaction was way different than he would realize it should’ve been.

“She’s so bad.” They said.

“Trust me, I know.”

“She got a nice ass too.”

All he did was punch his friend, clearly disgusted but appalled so much so that he couldn’t move.

“Shut the hell up.” He spoke, but quieted down when he saw you coming back.

The way he looked at you, you knew something was wrong, but it wasn’t what you assumed.

“Well Y/N, I tried to compliment you about how nice you look, but since Jaehyun doesn’t like that, I guess I’ll let you know that you need to take that hair out. It looks old.” He seethes, walking away in drunken anger.

“What did you just say? Come back here, pussy. Say it again.” Jaehyun is aflame. He knew he shouldn’t have brought you here. The fact that you had to hear that made him absolutely sick. He was two seconds away from punching him right in the back of the head before he felt your hands on him.

“Baby, calm down. Calm down.” You shush him, pressing your lips to his shoulder. “Don’t let it get to you.”

He hated this about you. Well, he hated that he couldn’t be like you. He could never ignore the negativity.”

“Come on.” You utter, taking his hand and leading him out.

Winwin:

He didn’t know why he wasn’t worried about you meeting his family. Maybe his love for you truly did blind him. You were just so amazing. The perfect woman and words really couldn’t describe the power you held over him.

As the two of you sat down, you both could sense the awkward air of the dinner table. As your boyfriend talked to his parents you slid him a text.

— You didn’t tell them I was black did you...

— I didn’t think it was something they needed to know. It doesn’t matter.

— I know it doesn’t matter to you baby, but I think it does to them. :(

“Y/N has been really enjoying China.” He speaks up after seeing your last message. He grabs your hand that was hiding from under the table and places your held hands on display for everyone to see.

“And I am so happy to be here right now. Winwin always talks about how much he misses you guys.” You add on, smiling brightly at their dull faces.

“Really? He hasn’t been home in forever.” His mother speaks.

“And don’t think we don’t know what you’re doing. We know how you black people are—always trying to use someone for money so you don’t have to get on welfare back home.”

You choked on your food immediately, unable to hold in your cough. “Woah.” You were able to breathe out. “I’m sorry you’ve been fed false truths about my people.”

“Don’t try and disrespect me in my own house. To be exact, get out.” His mother spits, and you don’t hesitate to take her advice. Mother or not your temper didn’t wait for anyone, and you didn’t want to do anything drastic.

Sicheng was always a well mannered boy who saw his parents as the greatest people he knew. Today, he was very much so proven wrong. “You guys are disgusting. I don’t even know who I’m looking at right now.” His voice shakes as he can’t believe he put you in position to hear words like those. “My girlfriend is African American, and she is beautiful. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and I want to marry her. I’m going to marry her.” He says with confidence. “And if you don’t apologize in the next 24 hours know you lost a son.” He finishes before storming out to run after you.

Jungwoo:

Neither of you liked parties. You both knew in the back of your mind that you would much rather be cuddled up on your couch or in your bed watching a movie or making the movie watch you.

It was loud in here, and you knew you shouldn’t have been drinking, but it had been awhile. You also knew Jungwoo had your back. The two of you had been in the corner for the majority of the body party, and for just a few seconds did Jungwoo step away to use the bathroom. A few seconds.

“Damn.” You hear a voice say.

Maybe you shouldn’t have froze. But at the same time, you were praying he wasn’t talking to you. When you feel his hand on your exposed lower back, you immediately back into the corner.

“I have a boyfriend.” You say clearly even through your tipsy state.

“Is he here? I don’t see anybody.” He’s getting closer and you can feel his breath on you. You can’t move. He’s blocking you from doing so. “Look, girls like you kill to be with a guy like me?”

“What do you mean girls like me? You don’t even know me.”

“I know you’re black. And all you black girls are the same. You come to Korea begging for this attention, but when we give it to you, you get all scared.”

You knew you had to defend yourself. You were raised to do so. But Jungwoo got to him first. He pushes the guy on the ground and he’s obviously drunk because he doesn’t even try to fight back. He hit the floor hard too as it grabbed everyone’s attention.

“Baby are you okay?” He questions as he cups your face into his hands, kissing your gently.

“I wanna leave.” You whisper, tears dripping from your cheeks from the fear you didn’t realize you had experienced. “Don’t worry about him just take me home please.”

“Okay okay.” He assures. He so badly wants to beat the shit out of the piece of shit who just ruined your night, but he knows every tone of your voice. He knows you really don’t want him to do anything. You just want him.

Mark:

As bad as it was, you and Mark were eachother’s only friends. He had people who he would communicate with from time to time, but in his eyes, a friend was someone who you trusted with your whole being. You were that person for him and quite frankly he didn’t need anyone else.

Of course he wanted to see his friends in Canada. He hadn’t seen them in too long, and he can remember all the good times. Subways with the boys, school with the boys, they were his boys. Secretly, the two of you met up in Vancouver where SuperM was touring and of course he brought you with him to meet up with his friends. He trusted them enough to not accidentally mention any details of you being there, and he would be sure to remind them 1000x anyway.

Everything was okay. His friends were telling you about all of the crazy things he used to do—say.

“You know it’s crazy. I never would’ve thought Mark would be dating a black girl.” One of them said. It made you uncomfortable, and you unconsciously leaned into your boyfriends hold, but you had hopes that he would clean it up. In some way shape or form, you wanted that to happen.

“Why do you say that?” Mark says in confusion.

“I don’t know. I just feel like you could do better. Like at least get a white girl and secure the bag bro.” He jokes, but Mark isn’t laughing. Your boyfriend was not one to mess with when he was pissed off and it was very clear right now. Especially when it came to you did he not play.

“I promise you that Mark did indeed secure the bag with me, honey.” You chuckle knowing he woke the beast.

“The fact that you just said that dumb shit to me, infront of my girl is proof that I should smack the shit out of you right now. I swear to God.” Mark seethes. He’s standing up now, but you can tell he’s fighting saying so many more things.

“Aye chill, Mark. He was just joking.”

“Is anybody laughing? Because I’m not. She’s not. Apologize.”

“What? For a joke?”

“Apologize.” He says in a low voice.

“I’m—I’m sorry.” He stumbles, and right after is Mark taking your hand and leading you out of the restaurant.

Haechan:

It was obvious that they were trying very hard to impress you. The overly loud rap music. The slang that they were throwing at you in hopes that you would see them in...you didn’t know what. But you didn’t mind. It was better than being rude to you. At the same time though, you couldn’t help but to think that this was Haechan’s idea. That he told them to act a little more seasoned for your arrival.

“Haechan.” You questioned quietely as his friends were rowdy and couldn’t hear you. “Did you tell them to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind.” You say, and you can tell he wants to hear more, but doesn’t press on the issue further.

“So Y/N, what’s it like being black?” One of them asks over the loud music. “Like how does it feel?”

“Um...I don’t know. Oppressed.” You dark humor, and your boyfriend laughs, but the guy doesn’t seem impressed.

“This is what I don’t understand about you guys. I mean, even with the black lives matter stuff. I feel like y’all want to be oppressed.”

“Me knowing that as a black woman I’m oppressed does not equal me wanting to be. As people of color we all have our own issues and we would be extremely stupid to try to ignore these factors just because we don’t want it to be that way. Me and my people have targets on our backs whether we like it or not.”

“And you of all people should understand that.” Haechan adds. “You’re sitting here trying to be black and look cool to my girlfriend to then turn around and disrespect her race and try to make her feel invalid for her very valid feelings. Get on the internet or read a damn book you fucking idiot. This isn’t a fairytale. You know what, Iets go baby. Can’t believe this shit.” He spits, standing up promptly.

“Period.” You scoff, slamming the chair into the table on your way out.

“Were you going to ask me did I ask them to act like that?” He questions when you two get outside.

“Yes.” You admit.

“I would never. I promise and I’m so sorry all of the just happened. I’m so so sorry.”

[paperuniverse]

Hetalia Headcanons: When They’re Angry

Germany: When he’s angry he yells, he’ll go for a jog to clear his head, and then get back to work, but when he’s furious he gets all stiff. When he talks it’s low and strained. It’s a scary sight.

North Italy: Normaly he just whines, maybe complains, but soon he’s back to being cheerful. For more serious matters though he’s much more menacing. He’s all sharp grins and although he isn’t talking any higher or lower then normal, there’s an underlying threat he’s subtly pushing on you. If someone were watching from afar it would look almost like a normal conversation, but you can almost feel his threats and they’re sharp just like his grin.

Japan: He’s easily annoyed but not easily angered. When he is angry he stops talking and gives you a menacing glare. If you somehow manage to push him to his breaking-point however, he will tell you coldly to leave his presence and if you try anything he will know.

Prussia: If it’s nothing serious he just complains loudly then move on, but if it is he’s much different. Like Northern Italy he too is wearing a sharp smile, but unlike him Prussia doesn’t hide his threats, he lays them all out in the open. Spoken in a cold tone, never leaving any detail of what he’ll do to you forgotten.

South Italy: His anger is as easy to bring up as it is to light a candle. He blows up over every small thing but is the exact opposite when it comes to big things. He won’t say anything at all, which is much worse. He’ll just gives you a menacing look as he grabs the nearest weapon and embeds it in the wall next to your head, or the wood of the table by your hand if need be.

England: Much like South Italy he too gets angry more often than he should, and is very adamant on letting you know he’s not pleased. But when he’s furious he isn’t silent, while he isn’t yelling every curse word he knows, he is threatening you. Reminding you that he hasn’t always been a gentleman and he’ll go back to his old ways if you’re not careful. He’ll finish his statement with a shallow cut to your throat and before you can even reply he’s turned and left.

France: He’ll get angry over more frivolous things such as food and work, but those are things he’s passionate about, and in the case of England it’s fun to let off some steam by annoying someone every now and then. His fury is only for loved ones and injustice. He will spit his curses at you and tell you how you are wrong, how you are vile, and nothing he would ever want to associate with again. He will tell you to leave, as he’s disgusted with your presence, and leave a last threat in case you’re too cold to care about the horrible things you’ve said.

China: He’s lived so long he doesn’t often get mad but when he does, Jesus what did you do? He will immediately go stone faced and glared and ask in a very cold voice, “Are you sure you want to mess with me? I have been alive longer than you could even fathom. It wouldn’t be wise to make me your enemy.”

Russia: Cold as ice and scary. He’ll act in a fake friendly manner; giving you a pat to the back hard enough you stumble, or maybe he squeezes your shoulder too tight. He’ll then tell you in his sweet voice what he’ll do, in a tone as if he’s simply discussing the weather. But you and him both know he’ll make well on those promises despite the sugar that coated them.

America: He’ll yell “hey!” and tell you off or maybe simply just huff and stomp away. If you drive him too far though be prepared, he won’t give you the formalities of a warning or a threat like the others. He’ll go straight to action, he’ll pin you to the wall or the floor and yell at you full volume. Asking why you would say/do that. Telling you how horrible you are. Then he’ll start to fight you and he won’t stop until well after you’ve passed out.

Canada: Why you would want to get on Canada’s bad side is beyond me, but if you’ve managed to anger him enough he won’t silently take it. He’ll tell you. Loudly. He’ll yell at you and insult you until you cry and feel like a waste of space, but if that’s not enough and you want to see him furious then you’ll have to do a lot more. Threaten someone he cares about and he goes back to being quiet. He’ll give you a cold glare. Cold as the coldest Canadian winter and tell you, “Don’t”.

[pseudonymfox]

Abort Mission (15)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the  Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…

This Part: Reader is on her way finding her parents, maybe the wrong decision...

Warnings: anxiety, angsty, fluff, summertime sadness

A/N: remember me? remember the story? haha..uhhh......

With widened eyes you looked to Steve, not shocked but somehow scared of the truth. You knew he was looking for them, he even made the suggestion to you a few months back asking if you wanted to meet them or even know who they are so he did and now he really did found them. Over his shoulders you saw Bucky coming back and closer to the both of you. Steve already looking at you, as you just really slightly shook your head at him.

“Heeey. Everything alright?” Bucky walked up the stairs with a clasp on Steve’s shoulder and a kiss on your cheek, suspicious he looked at you, as you nodded with a forced smile, before moving past you inside.

“I am gonna tell him later. Now, back to the point, where are they?” you asked and sat down with a sigh.

“Canada. Just outside Vancouver. I wrote you down the address just let me know if you need anything” he smiled down towards you as he handed you the piece of paper.

“Thank you Steve.” you called out after him before he is out of reach again, off to another mission.

Sometimes you wished he would settle down and have his peace, not believing that he could do this literally all day like he loves to say. There just had to be something else for him, Steve just doesn’t talk about this really often or likes to do so. As you saw him drive away with his motorcycle you stood back up again, putting the address carefully folded into your back pocket, going back inside. Bucky was in the bathroom washing the dirt off of his arms as you simply walked in and sat on the bathtub watching him without a word.

“What is it? You look like you have to tell me something?” he smirked at you through the mirror.

“Maybe I just like watching you?” you teased him but Bucky knew better and you did too.

“I know that already. There is just something else behind the grins and all the teasing”. After finishing he sat down besides you on the edge of thetub waiting patiently for you.

“Steve found my parents.” you just brought out.

“I didn’t even know he is looking for them. You didn’t tell me” he looked sadly at you with a hint of pity which you already didn’t like. All you wanted right now was to not make a big thing out of it, trying to stay natural for your own good.

“I honestly forgot cause Steve suggested that himself a while ago and I just didn’t take it seriously and now I know” you told him.

“That is good right? I mean you want to meet them..right? Where are they now?” Bucky put his arm around you for comfort.

“I don’t know.. I just- All I know is that they live in Canada right now” you groaned and moved the conversation from the bathroom to the living room. Letting you fall onto the couch, tired and frustrated, full of thoughts and most importantly not knowing what to do.

“Oh so you are Canadian. That might change a few things. I am serious (Y/N) that didn’t stood in the contract” he joked making you look up to him with a serious expression before breaking into a fit of laughter with him.

“Shut up. Doesn’t mean anything” you laughed out, knowing he just tried to light the situation up.

“Just joking. Do you want to meet them now?” Bucky said, back to being serious.

“I guess...don’t take this in a weird way but I want to do it alone. Not because I don’t like bringing you with me or Archer but I think it’s just a lot for now. Let’s just see how it goes” you explained hoping he would understand.

“Yes of course. I get it, do your thing.” he assured you which you only replied with a sering kiss.

The weekend lasted what felt like only a few seconds before you packed your little suitcase and said goodbye to Bucky and Archer. It wasn’t going to take long, maybe a few days otherwise you would have took them with you. Not liking to be away even only for this short of time.

“Mommy is going to be back soon alright! Be nice to daddy and uncle Steve for me alright? I love you” you kissed Archer’s tears stained cheek and gave him, over to Steve for a second. Turning to Bucky who already smiled comforting to you.

“If anything happens call me. Anything!” he held your face in his hands before giving you a short kiss.

“Anything.” you repeated him and linked your fingers for the promise. One last kiss for the both of them and hug for Steve later you waved them goodbye as you got into the check in for your flight. Hours and hours from flight to another, from city to city and endless movies you watched during the flights passed as you finally landed in Vancouver where you rented a car and a motel for the time you would be there.

After a quick call with Bucky who you woke up because you forgot the timezones.You drove towards the address Steve gave you, who could have flew you out there with a jet but as said you wanted to do this alone. It might scared the hell out of you, somehow making you feel a mix of being excited and scared or maybe you had to many coffees on your way here. Passing through the beautiful nature and landscapes of Canada you drove into a little ally through a forest as you came to what looked like a bigger farm house. Parking a bit away from the house you took that all in for a few minutes before stepping over your anxiety and walking up the little path that was surrounded with flowers. It reminded you a lot on the drawings you always did as a kid.

A big house with a family, siblings, mom and dad, maybe even a cat or a dog. Flowers decorating the garden in all sorts of colors but all you got was foster family after family. No one wants the broken one. The different one until you were old enough and just started living in your stolen car. You rang the bell and waited anxiously for something to happen. Until you heard a few voices from kids coming from inside.

A young teenager opened the door.

“Can I help you?” he asked nicely. Somehow he looked familiar, could that be your brother you asked yourself but decided to tone it down a bit.

“Is that the house of Flynn or Edith Albert?” you stuttered out, reading from your scrunched up paper that Steve gave you.

“Yeah why?” he asked confused. Understandable the way that you must looked after a lot of flights and almost no sleep.

“Could I talk to one of them maybe?” you asked hopefully and he just shrugged and opened the door a bit wider for you to step in and follow him through the hallway and the backdoor. Through the big glassdoors you saw him sitting on a rock nearby a small pond and you saw what he did. The young boy stayed inside as you made your way towards him slowly.

“Uhm-Sorry to disturb you but are you Flynn Albert?” you asked, seeing him turned around to you. One look behind you he threw the boy an angry look, who scurried away as he was noticed.

“And who are you?” he stood up, clearly bigger than you and not happy about the situation.

“(Y/N). I came here because I might think that you are my father” you straight up brought out, swallowing the fear and anxiety. The shock and fear on his face told you everything you needed.

“Look I don’t know what you are here for but you can’t be here. Go now.” Flynn just said and turned around waving angrily with his hand over his back but you followed anyway. That trip is not for just sightseeing you need answers.

“After all this time, everything that happened. I just want to talk and I won’t go otherwise.” you stood your ground, crossing your arms over chest. Waiting for a response while biting back the tears that started to build up. “-after that I am gone and you can forget me, never hear from me again. I promise.”

His shoulders slumped before he sat down onto the chairs nearby. You did too, seeing him watch your face.

“You should start talking now” he said coldly, all of that just stung in your soul but you didn’t know this man so why start caring about him.

“Are these your kids?” you asked and nodded back towards the glassdoors. This time a younger girl stood next to the boy.

“Yes. Thomas and Daisy” he didn’t even have to look to know what they were doing.

“Where is Edith? I guess your wife then? Mother of them maybe? Which leads to my next question. Why throwing your first one basically in the trash then if you have kids any way?!” now you only got angry or more likely disappointed in them. To find practically your dream family you always wished you had while being alone in a different room than the other kids, being called a danger for others.

“-You were a mistake. Still are..-” as you heard this it just came over you.

A mistake.

You got called a lot but never a mistake and you certainly wouldn’t have expected it while meeting your father.

“A mistake? So that is what I am to you and nothing more? Good to know I didn’t get your disgusting character. Just tell me what happened because there are other options than giving birth to a human being and then abdondening it without making sure that this child has someone who loves it, a place to stay. How horrible do you have to be to-” it turned to game of cutting off each other sentences, back and forth and back and forth. Your air was leaving your lungs quickly, tears began to stung in your eyes and could turn red of anger that was fulfilling you.

“Enough! I had my reasons and you’re the reason she is not here anymore. You don’t deserve this. Go now before I lose my mind” he cursed at you standing up but you did too. This could escalate really quickly but you decided to stay silent.

For the better.

“-you even look like her too. Listen I am sorry that I gave you away but this wasn’t allowed and it wasn’t right either. You were a accident back then but she wanted to keep you and then died of the consequences, leaving me alone with you” the disgust he had towards you. All the emotions even after all these years, even that he doesn’t know you longer than maybe half an hour.

“Thank you for the confirmation. That I really thought I would have a better live with Parents but now I am actually better off without you. Really..thank you” you said your voice cracking within the last words. Flynn didn’t said another word as you went for the backdoor.

Not looking back as you drove away. Ready to pack your bags again, not even wanting to stay the night you booked at your motel.

*Back in Wakanda the next day*

“You are not going afterwards her Bucky. She is fine. Maybe she just spends some time with her family” Steve tried to hold best friend back from packing his bag. Wanting to give you the time you needed. Respecting the wish you had.

“She is not calling or even texting for almost a whole day. What could she possibly talk about to not even look at her phone for this long. I mean I really get it but it’s just not like her” He has been worrying after the very first call you didn’t answer and it only got worse after you didn’t answer any of them. All these thoughts plagued his mind so that really was the only reasonable idea that came to his mind. Archer has been asking a lot after you too, barely slept through the last night and bucky didn’t either. Watching his phone for new notifications like a hawk but nothing happened. Steve basically sprinted to your house to stop Bucky because he tended to worry to much. It has been always like this with the ones he truly loved.

“Daddy look! Mommy is back” Archer made himself noticeable as he jumped up and down in front of the windows. Both Steve and Buckys heads snapped up and rushed to the door.

“Where have you been? You are back so early...What happened?!” Bucky hugged you tight before backing up again to check up on you. You greeted both of them before picking up you whining son that was clinging to your jeans.

“I’m fine bucky. I just didn't wanted to be away for so long. I’ll lay down now, the flights have been a nightmare” you handed him Archer and slumped your way back up the stairs, not even recognizing their calls after you.

All you need was your bed and feeling at home again. Just forgetting that all that happened.

“Whats wrong with mama?” Archer asked after they heard door falling shut.

“I don’t know. Let’s just let her sleep for a bit and you could draw her something ok?” he sighed and let him down who scurried happily away grabbing his crayons and some paper from the floor.

“What do you think?” he turned to Steve who just looked as lost as himself.

“I don’t know honestly. Give her some time, we don’t know what happened” he tried to assure him and made his way back again.

It was already late and you still “slept” like a rock, at least as Bucky thought that, as you heard the door screeche open and two voices whispering to each other.

“Just say good night buddy, Mommy had a long day alright?” Bucky whispered and hushed him inside. He patted carefully but fast over to your bed and climbed up kissing your cheek before whispering in your ear

“love you mommy. Good night” before rushing back to the door. As you heard the voices fading away you let your tears roll. You couldn’t sleep at all but you didn’t wanted to get up either way. Everything felt numb and your body really carved the sleep but you still just laid there. Footsteps came closer again so you wiped away the tears and pretended to sleep again. Bucky bent down over you and kissing your forehead.

“I missed you” he whispered before joining your side in bed. He fell asleep in just a few minutes instead of you who stayed awake the whole night, all you had was a few naps and that probably thru passing out from exhaustion. As you took the first flights back home you cried which left your eyes only burning afterwards. You felt literally like a wreck and nothing more, nothing was left.

After the hours you laid already listening to the soft snores Bucky made you felt like standing up again, so you put on some clothes and walked outside letting yourself fall into the grass by the sea. You didn’t really cared but it was a beautiful star filled night which calmed you down and let you shut out your thoughts for a while and you could rest your eyes for a bit. Just a little bit you thought. Until you heard someone call for you.

“(Y/N)? Did you sleep out here the whole night?” he looked down to you with a shocked expression.

“No, who knows how I got here and I look like this all the time” you grumbled sarcastically and crossed your arms over your head to block out the sun that blinded you from above. Bucky only sighed and slumped down next to you.

“Tell me what happened. You are not yourself”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Alright?” you peeked at him and he only stood up and left you alone again. Not that you liked to be like this but you just didn’t felt like talking or any interaction at all.

You heard his worried sigh and his sad look. It just took some time for you and hopefully he understood.

....

“I don’t get it. What happened to her Steve” Bucky asked Steve as they made a trip through the city with Archer in his stroller.

“She will be back to normal in no time, just wait. Can’t be that bad..” Steve said unknowing of you who rather slept in a field this night.“Suuure” Bucky pointed out.

Instead of Steve, he didn’t have the good feeling of everything being back in its place in a day or two.

“I brought that a while ago and I’m just carrying around” he suddenly surprised Steve with a ring he held up, the plan was to give this to you that a whole while ago but things just got messed up and never felt like the right time so he stuffed the ring just in his pocket and carried it around since then.

Sometimes the thought would come to his mind to just get it over with but he didn’t wanted to see it like this, it was something he wanted to remember.

“I’m happy for you buck. Give this to her when you think is the right time and believe me, there never is. Just don’t waste it” Steve smiled softly at him and with a claps on his shoulder they brought Steve back to the jet, time to say goodbye and for a another mission.

“Wait up-“ your voices called after them letting them turn around to you who came jogging up to them.

“Let me join you” you asked with big hopeful eyes, thinking that would take your mind off of things. Training, fighting, you already did that with natasha while Bucky was in cryo. Why not doing this again if it helped?

Bucky stepped in front of you to take your look away from Steve. A look of disappointment in his eyes.

“Are you serious? You just came back?!“

“I didn’t say I wanted to go right away but the next one“ you rolled your eyes at him. You could protect yourself, you both knew that but Bucky just didn’t wanted to risk anything once he had this life- he didn’t let it go.

“We should talk in private“ he suggested.

“No need for that, I made my decision. Steve?“ you looked past him and Steve looked like he didn’t wanted to choose a side.

“I’ll talk to Nat about it but.. I guess“

Next Part >>

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[anonymousdior]

My Lived Experience

I’ve been silent the last few weeks, not because I don’t have a voice or an opinion on what’s happening in this world right now or even more specifically, in my home country. But, because there is just so many feelings of all kind of everything. But, I feel like it’s time to speak up and tell my story and my views. 

First off, If you are new here or need a reminder; I am Tri-Racial. My father is African American; my mother is Italian and Indigenous. Mix those three with being a medical anomaly; it can be confusing thing to divulge to people. Which is probably why I usually don’t. In fact, most people don’t know anything about me I would say. But, that’s about to change.

Let’s get real blunt.. I grew up within Racism. In fact, Racism is as much as my family as a brother and sister would be. How so? One family was so disgusted with my blackness that they administered burning liquids to my scalp to change the way my hair follicles grow. Yes, this was something the main culprit had researched. This family had called me every slur in the book, “The N word”, “Burrhead” were some to name a few. I was treated differently from my cousins because they were considered “pure” and I was “polluted and dirty.” That was just one family. My other family refuses to acknowledge me due to being mixed and insults are hurled on a regular basis in reference to my whiteness or indigenous side. In fact, some self hatred resides within my Father’s family as well. On another note, I was given away and sent away because of my blackness and how it would be easier if I was not nearby for the One side of the family.

Fast forward a few years, I was living with my meema and mooma, a strong Cameroonian woman and African man and my uncle C, an African American male. I am in a neighbourhood that was 96% African American and had a 92% crime rate. Racism was very much apart of this neighbourhood. The neighbourhood was fenced in, to not allow the residents inside venture out. In fact, there was a school, library and a shitty grocery store within this fenced area. It was expected that everyone residing within these buildings would stay within the fence and not “pollute” the rest of Atlanta. If you did get out, well expect to be hunted down and harassed. If you wanted a job, you would have to lie on your application of where you lived. The APD would roll in every day, with guns in hand, not even in the holster anymore. They would rough you up for no reason and if you fought back, you’re arrested on the spot and lucky if you made it to the precinct without needing medical attention. However, in the “white” neighbourhoods, no policing was needed and when you were arrested, you were treated as a human. This neighbourhood was treated as less than. Don’t think the APD are bad? Don’t understand why Atlantans are so suspicious of the APD?

Let’s get real again...I was walking home one night from my shift at T-Mobile. It was dark but I was dirt ass poor, not to mention my money had been taken from me (That will be discussed later on). I am minding my own business and all of a sudden, the APD with their cherries on pull over and draw their guns at me, I am 17 years old and alone, not to mention a girl. They yell at me to get on the ground only once, when I ask what is happening or why, I am lunged at and my face is pushed into the ground. With guns still drawn at my head and this heavy officer on me, I’m asked where I live and what am I? I answer the name of the neighbourhood and I am bi-racial. All of a sudden I’m told that I will do and I fit the description of an aggravated assault with a deadly weapon from a bar that was at least a 2.5-hour walk away. I was arrested and thrown into the back of the car, while wearing my T-Mobile uniform, the whole time I am pleading with them that I didn’t do this crime, that I was at work and to call my boss, he will tell them. I was told by an Officer to shut up and that all people from my neighbourhood are guilty and that anyone with “Black” is straight up wrong and guilty of being alive. AN OFFICER, someone who is supposed to serve and protect. They refused to listen to anything I had to say, didn’t allow me a call to notify anybody and threw me in jail and as they threw me in there, the arresting officer called me a “dirty ghetto N word.” I spent a month fighting charges that weren’t mine to begin with and that based off my registered ethnicity aka racism, I was automatically guilty. In the end, a judge was smart enough to actually read the whole case and discovered I actually DID NOT fit the description among other things.. However, I was still 1 hearing from going to prison for 10-20 years... all because I was bi-racial and one of those races was black.

I had a grandfather once, we called him mooma. He was an amazing man and one of my hero’s. He was amazing, respected anyone and everyone and would love to talk proverbs with you. A god-fearing man. When I was young, he had an “accident” that left him permanently blind. By accident I mean white supremacists thought it would be fun and an act of god to my mooma who was simply asking if there was biracial kid books within a bookstore. After he left the bookstore that’s when they jumped him. The APD did nothing and refused to file a police report and dropped my mooma off at a mental health area instead of a hospital.  Years from that incident, my mooma would leave for a work trip to Texas and would never return home. My mooma became just another black man gone missing. When we went to report it to the police, we waited 3 hours to file the report while other White families were served asap. When they got around to us, they never wrote anything down and said he probably had a 2nd family because he’s black.... My mooma was murdered by White people who thought they were better then my grandfather...Who didn’t care he had a family waiting for him and a granddaughter waiting for the next critter book. Someone deemed my mooma was not fit to live simply because he was a black man.

As I grew up, I took note how other kids would be treated compared to myself and the people within my neighbourhood. When my uncle would take me to the aquarium, we would be questioned for 5 minutes on the pricing of the aquarium and how there was no guns or drugs allowed. During this time, the white families were let through with no problems. The black families were always questioned and lectured. When I went to school I noticed the kids from my church had better books, their books went to Bill Clinton, my books went to Jimmy Carter. They were assigned homework and readings, I went to class with the lesson on the board with maybe only 4-5 kids in the classroom while our teacher read the newspaper or a book, the white kids teachers were invested in their future. 

As I went into high school, I started attending church with my meema at her request. In her words, “to pray the white devil out of you.” While my meema was busy praying for the white devil out of me, I was getting beat up every Sunday in the back of the church for being black by the pastor kids and their friends. They called me every name in the book, called me disgusting, ripped my shirt and spat on me. They always stole my money (as per for my comment a few paragraphs up, I was always broke because of it) In fact, one Sunday they beat me up so badly I went to the hospital. We tried to file a police report but the APD never came... That was the last time we went to that white church. From this moment on, I have only stepped in a church twice.

When I moved back to Canada, I was hopeful that it would be different and more peaceful. In fact, I have heard how not racist Canada is. I have to disagree; it’s just more behind your back, less in your face then back home. I once was told I need to calm down on the alcohol as I’ll fully turn into a “Drunken Savage.” Or not wanting to learn about the culture and mocking it at every moment someone has. Of course, a racist slur towards my Indigenous side.

Even from my Canadian city I reside in, Georgia still inflicts is racist ways on me. The black vote is suppressed to the point legal actions have been launched all around. The white adults can register easily and usually have a flawless voting process. That is not the case for the minority population and people who reside within low income neighbourhoods. To the point, the last election I was given a hard time to register saying my W looks like a V and that I was trying to defraud the voting process. After persistence, I was able to vote but was given 3 faulty ballots that were already filled out for the current president. When asked for new ones each time I was told why wouldn’t I vote for Donald Trump, he loves the poor. On top of that, this year’s voting process was no different and I was given a timeline that was not given to my white friends to register. I was given the run-around and every excuse to vote and was told the same excuse, that my paperwork was filled out with the wrong color pen, that there was problems with a computer system that they don't even use to register or that I was registered within a different state. None of this was an issue before they read where I was from and the ethnicity on file... 

The above is just a taste of the racism I have experienced/witnessed. It’s a daily battle within myself to love myself and embrace all that I am. The Black, the white and the indigenous. I still avoid mirrors, most photos and you will never catch me at the beach or the pool in fear my hair get’s wet and you see that little hint of curl come to light. 

So yes, these protests are justifiable. Yes, the Atlanta protests were the first turn to ugly and violent.. It’s because we are angry and it’s not just these few incidents, it’s a history of corruption, systemic and blatant racism. It’s years of oppression and anger bubbling it’s ugly head to the surface. I can assure you, it’s always been there..I end this blog with one of my favourite quotes from a movie “The Great Debaters” (If you have not seen it you should!) 

“Saint Augustine said, "An unjust law is no law at all," which means I have a right, even a duty, to resist -- with violence or civil disobedience...You should pray I choose the latter.”

[puckyou-forpuckssake]

Dadcapades (2)—N. MacKinnon

Warning: mentions of pregnancy complications. Check out my other imagines and master list on my blog with #hockeyimagine. Read other parts to this series, questions, and statements under #dadcapades.

Y/N was excited for an evening without the children and Nate was excited to have an evening with his wife. It had been about a month since Gabe had offered, and frankly to Nate, that was too long not take him up on his offer. However, it took another day for Celeste to get over her fever. Then Y/N’s morning sickness became all day sickness. Sidney started a skills and drills hockey camp. Y/N enrolled Gabi in ballet and Celeste in a Mommy & Me class. Mikko still had his routine dog park visit followed by obedience training and had to go to the dog spa. Nate knew that this was his only true time to have a real date with his wife as preseason games started in a couple weeks and Sidney was starting Kindergarten tomorrow.

“This is going to be so nice,” Y/N sighed with a smile.

Nate smiled as he watch his wife do her hair and makeup. They planned to take full advantage of this night, and that meant going out to a fancy restaurant in Denver. Tonight’s choice was Rioja, a favorite for date night. “Definitely,” Nate agreed. “A night alone with my sexy MILF.” Nate kissed her neck.

Nate watched her roll her eyes in the mirror. “No wonder we have so many children if you’re thinking that way. Perhaps a vasectomy may be in order.”

Nate gagged. “Way to ruin the mood, sweetheart.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “How do I look, Nate? Honestly.”

Nate stepped to take a full look at his wife. Her H/C was down in its normal style and had on simplistic, natural makeup. She wore a casual tan dress with a black shawl and leopard print shoes. Simple and perfect. Nate grinned. “You look marvelous. Are you sure you’ve already had 3 children and are about to have a fourth?”

“Keep your pants on my dear,” she told him as she walked out of their room at the sound of Gabi and Sidney squealing that the Landeskogs had finally arrived.

Y/N hugged Mel and Gabe. “You have no idea how much we appreciate this,” she told him. “Bedtime is 8:00, especially since Sidney starts kindergarten tomorrow. All of them need to take a bath. Sidney and Gabi can take theirs together. Celly has her own little tub in our bathroom. There’s a variety of food in the kitchen for dinner. Nate, am I forgetting anything?”

“I don’t think so,” Nate answered. “Mel and Gabe got this. They’re going to do fine.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N. Gabe isn’t alone so nothing horrible can happen,” Mel reassured her.

Gabe snorted. “Wow. I love you too.”

Y/N sighed. “I know. I just worry. It’s instinct now. I have six kids to worry about.”

“Six?” Nate, Gabe, and Mel all questioned.

Y/N nodded. “My three actual children, the one inside me, my dog who acts like a giant baby, and my giant child of a husband.”

Mel giggled. “Well in that case I already have a kid.” She kissed Gabe on the cheek. “Now go have fun and enjoy the night.”

“But not too much,” Gabe winked at Nate.

“That’s disgusting, man. My kids are right here.”

—————————

Throughout their dinner Nate just stared at his wife’s beauty. She wasn’t a model. She wasn’t an actress. She wasn’t a blogger or an Instamom or an influencer. She was an average beauty. She was an elementary school 3rd grade teacher. She gave up her job for their children (That wasn’t true. She quit teaching at her normal school when Sidney was born and started teaching online for homeschool kids so she could be with their children when Nate was gone and to enjoy their youth).

“What are you staring at?” Y/N asked him. “I don’t think you’ve heard a single word I’ve been saying.”

“That’s because you’re so pretty.”

“You saying that I don’t normally look good?”

Nate chuckled. “Sweetheart, you know I never pay attention. My hearing is selective. It is in the husband and father handbook.”

Y/N rolled her eyes at him. “I was talking about the schedule we need to have now that Sidney is,” she winced. “About to start kindergarten.”

Nate’s eyebrows furrowed. “Not much needs to change. Are you okay?”

She nodded, but he could see the tension in her smile. “Y/N.”

“I’m fine, Nathan,” she snapped. He watched her hand go to her side. “My stomach just hurts a little. I’m probably just hungry.”

Nate nodded. He didn’t want to anger or stress her out. “Gabe and Mel are thinking of adopting.”

Y/N nodded and took a sip of her water. “Mel told me. She said you offered for them to watch our kids as a way to get experience without us around. She didn’t say it but I know she appreciates it. They’ve been trying for so long.”

“I hope our children aren’t driving them insane,” Nate said. “I mean I’m sure they are.”

“You love your children.”

“I know that. You know that. I never said I didn’t love them. They, and you, mean the absolute world to me. I don’t know what I would do without you. What they would do without you.”

Y/N blushed. Neither of them said anything further as the waiter brought them their dinner. It was quiet while they enjoyed their food. Nate and Y/N couldn’t enjoy food like this much anymore because it is not easy to feed picky children. Nate noticed throughout dinner the small winces Y/N let escape and her left hand clutching her side.

“Y/N,” he said at one point.

“I’m fine, Nathan,” she snapped like she had earlier.

“I was just going to ask how your food was.” He wasn't, but it was believable enough.

“It’s fine.”

Nate signaled for the check when Y/N got up to go to the bathroom. He was getting worried after she didn’t appear for a few minutes. It wasn’t until he heard a shriek that he found himself holding his unconscious wife. She was washing her hands and just collapsed according to a lady who was at the sink next to her.

The ambulance was there a minute later. “That’s my wife. She’s pregnant,” he kept mumbling as the paramedics ushered both him and her onto it.

“What’s your wife’s name, sir?” One of the paramedics asked him.

“Y/N. Y/N MacKinnon.”

“Your wife will be fine, Mr. MacKinnon. She’ll be in good hands,” the other paramedic said to him.

Nate nodded but just gripped Y/N’s hand tightly. This was the mother of his children, his wife, his best friend laying before him unconscious with the oxygen mask on. The mother of his children.  His children. He needed to call Gabe.

“I need to call—“

“We’re almost at the emergency room. Once we get your wife in and everything stabilized, you can make your call.”

He nodded. The ambulance halted and the back doors open. “We’ve got a 29 year old 10 week pregnant female. Collapsed and loss consciousness in restaurant unknown cause.”

“She’s been gripping her side all night long but she told me she was fine,” Nate added. “She’s had trouble in the past with pregnancy. This is her fourth.”

“Damn man,” the driver whistled. “That’s a lot of kids. How old is your oldest?”

“He turned 5 in March. Our second one is 3, and the we have a 9 month old.”

“It’ll be okay, sir. Your wife is going to be okay.”

Nate sure hoped so. He couldn’t imagine life without her.

——————

“I expected you and Y/N to be back by now,” Gabe said when he answered the phone.

“Y/N is in the hospital,” Nate told him.

The line was quiet. “Are you serious? I mean I know you have to be because you would never joke about Y/N. What happened?”

“I don’t know. She’d been in the bathroom and she collapsed. She’d also been gripping her side most of the night too. The doctor said it’s some weird form of very early preeclampsia. She had that problem with Celly and had placenta previa with Gabi. She also had gestational diabetes with all 3 and she has it again.”

“God, Nate. Is there anything Mel and I can do for you?”

“Just stay with the kids a little longer. I’m heading home once she’s up. I can’t make it to practice tomorrow. Can Mel watch Gabi and Celly tomorrow?”

He heard Gabe whisper to Mel. “She said she can. She’s just going to run home and get something’s for us. We’re staying the night.”

“You don’t have to do that, Gabe,” Nate sighed. “I can do this.”

“I know you can but it’ll be easier. Just for tonight. Okay?”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a bit, Gabe.”

Nate hung up and saw his wife staring at him. “You’re awake,” he smiled.

“Nate, I’m sorry. I should have told you I wasn’t feeling well.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. You and the baby are okay. Dr. Bellmeyer said you have anemia, high blood pressure, and gestational diabetes. She fears it may be a weird early onset preeclampsia. She’s running tests to rule it out. She already ruled out placenta previa. She also strongly recommends no more children.”

“This could mean the baby can’t be born in Canada like the others.”

Nate shrugged. “Whatever happens happens.”

Someone knocked at the door and in walked Dr. Bellmeyer. “It’s so good to see you awake, Y/N. How are feeling?”

“Not too well considering I’m in a hospital,” she answered.

“Good news is that preeclampsia is not in the picture; however, there is still a great risk for its development later on. I want to keep you admitted though and monitor you for the next month. I know it sounds excessive but you’ve had too many troubles in the past. Nobody wants anything to happen to you or your baby.”

Y/N nodded and turned to Nate. “Go home and come back tomorrow after you take Sidney to school. I want lots of pictures and videos. Tell them I love them. Just please go take care of our children. You’re going to be doing that for the next six or seven months.”

“What do you mean, Y/N?”

“She’s saying, and in very good knowledge, that there is no way she can take care of your children successfully due to her condition. She is going to be on extensive bed rest,” Dr. Bellmeyer explained. “This is the best interest of her and your child’s health and well-being.”

Fear rolled over Nate. The season starts in a month, preseason in a week. “You can do it, Nate,” Y/N smiled. “You love and care for our children, as do many others who will be willing to help you. I will always be here to advise you. I love you, Nate. I love you so so much.”

Nate smiled and kissed his wife. “I love you too. I’ll be back tomorrow. Get some rest.”

————

Mel and Gabe were still up when Nate walked into his home. He flopped into a chair next to them and groaned. “She and the baby are going to be fine,” he told them. “The crappy part is she is going to be hospitalized for the next month and then on bed rest after that.”

“We’re here for you, Nate,” Mel told him. “I’m here whenever to watch them once the season starts or to help Y/N.”

“The guys will be there for you too,” Gabe added. “I know they will be.”

Nate let a tear slip out. “I know I’m a good dad, but I never realized until right now how much I am going to have to handle.”

“You can to do this, Nate,” Gabe reassures him. “There’s a lot of people here to help you through all the escapades.”

Nate nodded and thanked his friends before excusing himself to go to bed. He needed the sleep because Nate wasn’t sure when he was going to get it again.

[defensemechanism]

Me & The Devil Himself part 6

Staring out of the window did nothing to improve his mood.Lighting flashed in a black as midnight sky at eleven o'clock in the morning.

"What's the plan?"Negan asked the room at large, taking a seat at the head of the table.

His lieutenants sat in a make shift conference room, looking worse for the wear from the battle with Alexandria.

Dwight tapped the back end of a switch blade on the table, seemingly deep in thought.Regina sat arms crossed over her chest glaring at Dwight's hands.The minutes ticked by quietly.Negan's already strained patience was growing thin.Gavin tilted his chair back and sighed.

"There's nothing left for us to do, 'cept kill 'em all."Simon concluded.

"Dwight?" Negan posed wearily.

"We don't need to kill all them people to get them in line.We just have to kill the right ones."

Negan narrowed his eyes at him.

"The right people, meaning who? Rick Grimes?"

"Grimes, The Widow, and The so called king."

"Hmm..." Their leader scratched at his chin, in contemplation.

"We'll put 'em on a platform, make it bloody, make sure they all see it happen." Dwight's gruff voice provided.

"I like the way you think, Dwight."Negan responded at last."Simon, how long you need to get this set up?"

A blood thirsty grin broke out on Simon's face.

"We'll be ready by morning." He replied to Negan.

At the Saviors Simon directed a gung-ho, "Let's go to work."

Mean while, back at the hen house,boredom and gloom drove the wives to the parlor.

"We could play a game?"Tanya suggested.

Brandy emitted a petulant huff in response and continued flipping through a beat up issue of Vogue.

"We can play a drinking game."Sherry suggested.

"A drinking game?"You repeated uncertainly.

"We are all adults here, we're stuck 'till Negan says otherwise."Sherry pointed out.

"We might as well."Amber intoned unenthusiastically.

You glanced uncertainly at Sherry.For a moment they thought you would decline, but much to their surprise,you agreed.

"Okay, What are we playing?"

Frankie sat up in her chair, with sudden interest.

"Never have I ever!"Frankie and Tanya said in unison.

You swallowed in an attempt to soothe your suddenly dry throat.This was a disaster waiting to happen.

Amber took it upon herself to serve each person in the room a generous shot of vodka.

"The way it works is, we take turns asking a question.Well sort of a question sorta not."Frankie hedged.

"Like if it's my turn I'd say something like, Never have I ever...smoked a joint."Tanya clarified.

"Bullshit."Frankie laughed.

"If you have smoked a joint you do a shot.If you haven't, you don't.It's fun.Trust me."Tanya's enthusiastic grin was a little scary.

You had never seen her smile before today.You eyed her skeptically, but didn't back out.

"Why don't we go from youngest to oldest"Sherry suggested with a smirk.

Amber went around the room handing out the generous glasses she had poured to each of you.

"Go on then."Tanya encouraged Amber.

"Alright, never have I ever...given a blowjob."

"Ha!That's a cheat!We all know He loves getting head."Frankie chuckled.

"Is not!" The petite blonde insisted.

Every single one of you took a shot.Amber went around the room refilling the glasses.As the game went on,you slowly began to relax. The questions were sometimes dirty, but no one had caused any trouble so far.

"Never have I ever"Frankie began, "been tied up during sex."

"Ugh Frankie!"Amber exclaimed in disgust.

Sherry's eyes were fixed on you.Of course you thought broodingly. She was so damn nosey,but you were a good sport and drank just the same. To your surprise, so did Tanya.You shared a knowing look then burst out laughing.Sherry was not amused.

"Never have I ever been to Texas?"Tanya tried.

You shook your head,but drank all the same.

"Never have I ever kissed another girl."You threw out eyeing each of them in turn.

Frankie,Tanya,and You all took another shot.

"Really, Y/n?"Amber's eyes went wide with curiosity.

"Oh, come on don't act so surprised.It's the freaking apocalypse."Tanya scoffed.

"Alright alright, never have I ever, been in a sub/dom relationship." Sherry said smoothly.

You cringed and took the shot quickly.Tanya did as well.Your cheeks reddened at the admission.You could feel them all scrutinizing you.Tanya couldn't meet their eyes.

"Amber" Sherry prompted when she remained quiet for too long.

"Oh, uh, yes. Never have I ever.."She wracked her brain trying to come up with something,but came up empty. "Never have I ever had a three some??"

"Boo"a sloppy drunk Frankie complained."We already asked that one."

"Right right, never have I eveeer, had a sexual fantasy about a Savior."

"You're so bad!"Tanya blushed fiercely and took the shot.

She shrugged.The look on Amber's face was bleak.

"Never have I ever been to Canada."Frankie said quickly changing the subject.

No one drank.You felt bad for her.You had forgotten that some of these girls used to be in relationships with the men that were now Saviors.Poor Amber.

Tanya smirked at you.

"Never have I ever, had sex in the kitchen, in the middle of the day."She said much too chipper for your liking.

"At my place or theirs?"You asked.

"Either."

You knew that wasn't what she meant, but you refused to go there with her.Her brown eyes blazed into yours.You drank simultaneously.

"Never have I ever lied to my husband."You deadpanned to remind them you were in this together.Everyone of them drank.

"Never have I ever had a sex related injury."

Frankie stared at Tanya when she didn't drink.

"Tanyaaaa"

"Frankie"Tanya mocked good naturedly.

"You have."she insisted.

Tanya winced and took the shot. Embarrassed and hoping no one would ask the million dollar question.

"Okay, but how??"You asked.

Tanya covered her blushing face in her hands.

"Damn it,Sherry."

"She was with Simon on a free pass day."Frankie snickered darkly.

“We all know how that goes.” Tanya rolled her eyes.

Sherry raised an eyebrow. "Not all of us do."

"Never have I ever had sex with Simon." Amber singsonged.

"It's not even your turn!" Tanya winced and took the shot.

You were feeling so warm and buzzing hard.You unthinkingly took the shot along with Tanya and Frankie.

"You?"Sherry's voice was filled with judgment.

"Surprised?"

"Not even a little." She sniffed.

"Anyone ever tell you, you're awful judgmental for a woman in a polygamist marriage?"You pointed out.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me.You act pretty high and mighty for someone who sucks the same cock we do."

"I am not like you." She hissed venomously."I didn't choose this!"

"And you think I did?"Amber stood, swaying drunkenly.

"I didn’t mean you." Sherry voice lost it's venom. "But the rest of you did."

"You're so wrong for thinking' that and even worse for saying' it!"Tanya's eyes filled with tears.

"It's none of your fuckin' business how we ended up in this situation!" You spoke louder than you intended to, likely the effects of the alcohol.

The double doors burst wide open.

“That is enough!” Your husband knew how to make an entrance.

"What in the hell is going on in here?"Negan thundered looking at you suspiciously.

No one moved.Sherry's anger was still apparent in her expression.You wondered how long he'd been listening.

"Explain.Now." He demanded picking on Brandy who hadn't said a thing.

"W-well...They were drinking and playing some stupid game.Some sex game?" her eyes focused on You.

"A sex game?" Negan repeated, disbelief in his tone.

"Yup. Not a one of us's been to Canada and Frankie kissed a girl, Now Sherry thinks we're all a buncha sluts." Amber recapped brazenly.

Negan blinked a few times.

"Well damn,you are trashed!I'm cuttin' you off." He took the bottle of vodka from her. From the look on her face it seemed she had forgotten she was holding it.

"I'll get you some water."Frankie nodded decisively and tried to shake off her buzz.She still swayed a little on her way to the sink.

"So what I'm getting' here is, you all got wasted and started sharing war stories about sex with me?"

You didn't know what to say.You were,despite Sherry being an asshat, feeling really good right about now.

"You are around each other all day everyday and the subject had never come up before?" He asked, feigning amusement."Wow. I don't know if that's an insult or a compliment."

You giggled.He was finally getting a taste of his own medicine.

"What's so funny over there,Y/n?"

Uh-oh no pet names.Daddy was maaad.The ridiculous thought made you chuckle and soon you were emitting peels of laughter so infectious that Tanya started laughing too.

"It's not fucking funny.I don't like drama."

Sherry rolled her eyes.

"Coulda fooled me." You jibed under your breath.

Tanya heard you and mashed her lips together to hold back her smile.

"What did you just say?"

You shrugged carelessly.

"Every one of you to your bedrooms!I don't want to hear one peep outta for the rest of the day and as for you, trouble-maker.You are comin’ with me.”

"Sure thing,Daddy." The corners of your lips quirked into an almost grin as you stood and headed for your room.

"Smart ass." He grumbled following behind you.

[fortheheavenssake]

PG MM Anon Interpretation Collection- 10

65: Sept. 20

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON … it’s a bird’ it’s a private plane ‘ it’s an Archificial!!!!!…… Canada why?…… three weddings and a numeral …… an unnecessary company …… not buying the lying ……” Rome , Bloody Rome!!”…………” one makes ones bed Philip”…… tabloids ‘ mud sticks, it’s official!!…… hated ‘ not rated …… This spotty leopard is def!! …… “ To boldly go……… “

it’s a bird’ it’s a private plane ‘ it’s an Archificial!!!!!

It’s Superman!!! Was the original third part. The ever elusive doll baby with magic powers to change size, hair colour, eyes, eyelashes etc etc all while wearing a Christening gown🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 Again MM ANON are you confirming this? Private planes have been used because as we all know, there is no baby in her care, it’s always been a doll, and/or actors getting on/off private planes and or going to their local. For some reason EJ and ED are lying! Allegedly.

Canada why?

Canada Dry🤣🤣🤣😂😂MM ANON are you teasing me because l didn’t know that rare song🤣🤣😂😂? Seriously, l wonder if this is about Cameron Ortis and enquiring why Canada’s issue occurred and who was given what information.

three weddings and a numeral

Movie Three Weddings and a Funeral. Interestingly the write Richard Curtis is working with Catherine DOC , a new mental health initiative. It was in the paper the other day, if l recall there was a suicide he experienced, sibling? I cannot recall exactly. So Three weddings and a numeral. Let’s review what a numeral is, its a figure, symbol, or group of these denoting a number. MM ANON are you affirming something for us? Oh pretty please!!

Madam alleged annulled 1st marriage, divorced second and PH was the golden door number three, let’s make a deal, who remembers that game show? Does numeral represent a part of the law which denotes annulment and was it done legally? We know the divorce was legal because TE has remarried or is engaged. Oh my stars, are we getting affirmation?l have said awhile now why did PH hold the book when he was ‘signing’ the register after the wedding ceremony, he held the book so the camera couldn’t see it. Oh this clue has me buzzing! I know it’s can’t be III. Roman numeral three for three weddings they have attended as a married couple, the horrible blue and white dress, Princess Eugenie and Jack B and now MN?

an unnecessary company

Is this the Sussex Foundation? They could have worked as a team with the Cambridges but her jealousy and craving of $$$$$££££££££€€€€€ far supersedes any philanthropic or truly real humanitarianism.

not buying the lying

No one is believing anything she says or does except sugars and celebrities who share management or SS PR.

” Rome , Bloody Rome!!”

Again PP, disgust continues to rile his anger. Raging at yet another trip, how many flights is this now in six weeks or so? If they are all true it must be close to ten. He is a strong man, served his country for decade upon decade, to see this madam, l cannot imagine his blood pressure!

” one makes ones bed Philip”

HMTQ and PP , or maybe LG, the phrase you made your bed, now lie on it. This means your life choices have consequences and you have to deal with them The speaking if first person here, in a manner, leads me to believe this is HMTQ talking to her husband and the incredible burden of a booty call turning into this horrendous mess and PH playing his role, in his due to HMTQ, his grandmother is him having to deal with his poor choice. We still love and pray for him, as do his family. It must be desperately hard to watch him , but it will all be worth it, once justice is served, and make no mistake, it may not be tomorrow or next week, it will come! My word for madam, she will not understand this but Ask not for whom the bell tolls, for it tolls for the.

tabloids ‘ mud sticks, it’s official!!

Monster Meghan nanny tells all, TMZ shows fake photos of pub visit days and days after it allegedly happened, the pub owners denied they were there, the meta data on the photo said it was taken September 17,2019. More and more in the tabloids both paper and online tabloids, the truth is coming out and people are believing it more and more thus the term the mud sticks. MM ANON, the other riddle you used ‘ stick and stones’may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. I added the rest, after the part she mentioned. So in this case, the ‘names’ which in fact is truth are most definitely hurting her already bad reputation. Way to go SS!! You’re really earning your $$$$£££££€€€€! NOT !😂😂😂😂🤣

hated ‘ not rated

If one goes by social media et al, she doesn’t rate as a royal, but oh my the level of absolute disgust, anger, has built into hatred. Rightfully so, she blew in, rather flew in on her 🧹, paid backers. Manipulated a marriage, a ‘fauxmegnancy’, wastage of money on an epic scale, disrespecting the British and Commonwealth every step of the way. Trying to Americanize the Royal family and the biggest of all is the complete vile disrespect to HMTQ. To me, all the misdeeds, ? maybe illegal, those are all left for LG to manage. The thing of HMTQ at this stage of her Reign and her life, to be so utterly disrespected, repeatedly is utter gall. Yet another major reason she is hated so much by so many!

This spotty leopard is def!!

Def Leopard…awesome band and takes me back to hockey games music and after parties. She is def, not physically def,but tone def in an abstract meaning. She doesn’t accept any opinion except her own. Any questions she immediately cries troll, racist, hater, a plethora of descriptors. I still cannot believe all the time twitter was going last night either in Italy or as leaving to go there. Who cares if l or others misread the riddle. I am not embarrassed to acknowledge l misread something! Hey this is for fun, if it angers or irritates someone, perhaps reset this or take a break. In saying that, l work very hard in processing what the options are that a clue may mean and then writing it, in a manner that is as clear and concise as l can do.

“ To boldly go……… “.

To boldly go where no man, since changed to no one , has gone before, from the opening of Star Trek episodes. So madam has boldly gone to Rome sans archficial, and the Africa trip is pending shortly. Wonder why the journalists flight to Capetown has been cancelled?? She sees herself as the worlds answer to anything and l am sure she will display her narcissistic brilliantly while there. Oh this is going to be fun to watch!

As an aside, the HMS PRINCE OF WALES was taken out of drydock in Forsyth, Scotland. Some interiors are still being constructed. This is a massive beast of a sea faring ship. Check it out!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Wow! How do you do this dear PG! You take so little and turn out a masterpiece! So impressive, thank you so much! As always, greatly appreciated! Thank you!😃💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

Sep 20th, 2019

————————

66: sept. 21

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

MM Anon

skippyv20

MM ANON …The wedding r/deception … the bigger picture …… easy does it! but do it…… weasel words …… not an option …… a collection of miss-fits…… heads or tails?……… home alone 7…… A sensible emptiness …… “don’t forget to wind the clock”……… no public appearances …… a good WHO-done

The wedding r/deception

So, this variety of people gather for big wedding number two in less than five years for the same bride,,different groom. It looked like a political conference with the level of security and who was there. Why did they attend, as far as l know the paper said they weren’t part of the evening prepared, l didn’t see them there in the photos from that evening. They were at the wedding, why? If you’re all close friends why not go to the fun bit and socialize, have a few drinks and a dance. I’ll tell you why BECAUSE THEYRE NOT A COUPLE THATS TOGETHER, it’s a charade. There must have been some reason they went, especially l enjoyed the cheeky photo of Harry where he SOUGHT out the camera and grinned. That told this girl all l need to know. Something was up, and we may never know what the agenda was but something was up!

the bigger picture

When one says look at the bigger picture here, it means take a step back from your situation, look at pros, cons, what you have invested into the issue and make the best decision that way. Here l think it’s literal, look at the whole picture, who was at that we’d and why. I have no answers but l think that’s one option.

I also think this is PH, going to the wedding was one small part of his time with mm, MM ANON is telling us don’t yippity yap about who was wrong or right about them going to the wedding or not. I admit it freely, l completely misread the clue about the wedding. Am l still lived?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂💜💜💜💜💜 l hope so😊. Seriously now, look at the big picture who set him up, what’s happened since then and so forth. I feel we need to continue to brain storm and put forth opinions here, this is fascinating and sometimes what we have talked about is in the paper the next day and l think wow! So let’s keep our eye on the prize and on the bigger picture!

easy does it! but do it

Slow progress in extraction from this sordid tale. Many many things have changed and been revealed l he is back to being called PH in the media no more DUKE🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂. There is so much negative PR it’s incredible and SS has only made things worse. So easy do it with the extraction but DO IT ! HMTQ and LG have this. The thing l fear presently is that speech she is going to give shortly after landing.

weasel words

Weasel words are words or statements that are intentionally ambiguous or misleading AKA word salad. That’s how she speaks, gobble de gook , just all kind awesome kind, yet kind but also awesomely kind, but kind of awesome, yet kindly kind. You get it, you know it. As l said , my massive fear is that first speech with the domestic murder rate off the charts, she goes in there yammering like that, there is serious damage that she could do. This is no joke, l worry about this. She on the other hand thinks she’s so awesomely kind that her speeches save the world and just her presence there will make things all better especially if she uses a darker bronzer!

not an option

Giving up is not an option. There were years invested into planning this and years have been invested into investigations. This must be allowed to play on as long as it needs to. They cannot afford to not pull out and follow every piece of yarn they unravel, this is too internationally important to just give up now. The general public is angry both at home and the a Commonwealth, its an incredible game being played but we have God , HMTQ and LG and PW and PH on ours! Let’s remember to keep them in prayer 🙏🏻💜🙏🏻.

a collection of miss-fits

Well l could say the stolen name SmartSets was a collection of things that fit a very select few and a bag, that cost more than the clothes that the fit on was terrible. The trousers she woke had a big bit of extra fabric right in the front lower area yikes! I do think, the almost inbred crew that was at that Italian wedding was a bunch of misfits. I am not judging but my reading tells me, her first marriage took place in Venice and was a massive affair, that marriage didn’t last three yearsish. Here we have a massive affair in Rome, l don’t get this flaunting of wealth. I just do not get it. The guest list, why are the Kushners, be it Jared or Josh always at any event? The connections in that guest list that was posted in the paper again reminded me of a genealogical family tree. This all so bizarre. Has she grafted her way into money as well? They keep saying she’s a fashion designer, l keep myself pretty in the know of stuff like that because it interesting to me. Before mm, l had NEVER heard of mn and her stupid white shirt. That’s her big contribution to fashion a white shirt? Okay then…..moving swiftly along…….

heads or tails?

Flip a coin, choose a side, you win or lose the bet.

home alone 7

Home Alone aaaaahhhhh Kevin!!! Love it, the sequels not the same. Is this now, the trio to Italy, the 7th time archficial has left left alone by his ‘parents’. Well yes l sure Nannyficial has things all in hand, in fact maybe they will Nannyficial to take care of Archficial in SA??

A sensible emptiness

Emptiness can mean a human condition is a sense of generalized boredom, social alienation and apathy, which means a

lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

Sensible can be a statement or course of action chosen bearing in mind wisdom and prudence, and is likely to be of benefit. It can also be something that is practical and functional rather than decorative. Well we know mm is not the latter definition of sensible. So sensible emptiness, PH has made a life changing, mane lives actually, decision that night at soho, and here we are today. I truly believe this description of sensible emptiness could apply to him, HMTQ, those who live both, their families and all of us who are loyal to the Crown and love our royals. We know justice has to be brought to bare or is it bear, you know what l mean. So these feelings we talk about with our 💜🐼💜 and we share here are normal. We need to pray for justice seekers and truth seekers in all forms, they are doing Gods work.

“don’t forget to wind the clock”

Old clocks need winding to keep them running. To wind somebody up means to get them excited in a good or bad way. I think this means quite literal don’t forget to take care of yourself, PH, sleep, exercise, eat well, check your emotions with those you love, do what you need to do to stay fit (and oh is he fit,😁) so as the clock needs to be wound to function well, these things are essential to him being able to function well.

no public appearances

Amw will stay MIA, this is stupid ridiculous, but the lie has to continue. There has to be a reason and we must pray for PH , HMTQ and LG. Especially PH, he will have to maintain his composure. How they are going to keep this lie going l don’t know but l read they are taking 12 staff, that is NOT counting RPOS!!

a good WHO-done it.

This clue has a double meaning. It can mean a really good storyline in a book or film or tv really, that doesn’t tell us straight away who the criminal is but lays clues to figure it out….kinda like your riddles MM ANON. WHO is the World Health Organization. I don’t know if anybody noted the article l put on my blog last night or read it in the paper/saw or heard it on the news, this is a run on sentence for the ages, my goodness! There has been a spate of relationship homicide in SA, with 30 women being murdered in the last month alone. There has been a dramatic rise in statistics of violence. The WHO commenting means this is a severe issue needing addressing! With great dread do l await madams first speech shortly after they land, where she will speak on the topic of violence against women. This is a very dangerous decision with a lot of potential blowback!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Wow! Amazing….so appreciate this dear PG! Things are getting interesting now! Thank you so much!😃💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

———————

67: Sept. 22

💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

I have had a massive increase in my sciatic pain, that’s been building since flu last week, today was brutal. But better now so l thought l would give the riddle a go. Please continue praying for me, l really am in need of it. Lots of love and gratitude 💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻PG🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON … Azurelee Drive…… “ we are interested” … … between 6 and 10……🎼 California scheming 🎼……((wedding gems…… “ SA ‘just a fuc#@g nuisance”…… “£uck the press, we can do anything I want”…… “ I don’t lie, I embellish”))……” is on our watch list “……… “HEADS ‘ I win”…… a draconian solution … “when The devil drives”. 🎼 “over and over and over again my friend”🎼………(🤫🤫🤭💎💎💎💎👩🏽‍💻👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️ when in Rome!!!!)

Azurelee Drive

Azure is the bluest of blues it is a gorgeous colour. As l suspected, Azurelee Drive is in Malibu, another clue to reenforce her long term plan is Malibu. Are there any prisons with an ocean view in Malibu? Maybe someone could let me know if there are, l am serious!

“ we are interested”

Again with the first person royal”we”. HMTQ is very interested in what’s going on. I think we are nearing some sort of climax with this trip. I have said this before, l trustmyngut, l have a very strong feeling something is going to happen. Perhaps the reason they flew to the wedding for such a short time, hardly worth it, was for her to use someone else’s computer to engage in a blood diamond deal? Again does she not get she is being monitored? Obviously not!

between 6 and 10

7, 8, 9, are between 6 and 10 literally. But l think this is the amount of time they spent at the wedding. They weren’t part of the party the night before, the next day wedding breakfast or the second night party the night after the wedding. Wow besties eh? Isn’t it awesome to have such great best friends?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

🎼 California scheming 🎼

This is a play on the song California dreaming, MM ANON has used this before, so it’s reenforcing for her plan to live there after all this is over. Yes perhaps in a dark cement building! Her plan, get all the $$$$€€€££££££ she can, set up her blog again and divorce rebuilding her life in Malibu was the last place l read was the mansion search. She is scheming her way into the marriage, during the ,arriage, out of the marriage and after the marriage

((wedding gems…… “ SA ‘just a fuc#@g nuisance”…… “£uck the press, we can do anything I want”…… “ I don’t lie, I embellish”))

Gems has an obvious meaning, which is also involved in this riddle.Gems can also be snippets like best song on an album etc. These are the gems of conversration/comments she made the night of the wedding. She really is stupid, has no filter and no judgement whatsoever!

” is on our watch list “

Of course, with the international security issues at , her past involvement with many, many individuals of dubious character during her yachting decades, and the current work LG has been doing l am certain she is on a watch list. Here l assume everyone knows what a watch list is, a person, or persons, group, or items requiring close surveillance, most usually for legal or political reasons.

“HEADS ‘ I win”

We had heads or tails yesterday. HEADS all caps, what’s the meaning? Who has HEADS and is the winner? I found one definition but nothing in all caps, heads a shouted warning that something is falling from above one’s head.

a draconian solution

We had a case, few years ago where l live, they wanted to build a casino in part of a local pub. Our city had a by-law preventing gambling and alcohol on sale in the same establishment. I can still see AND hear the owner when he was interviewed on the news about how Draconian our laws were. The definition of draconian is of laws or their application) excessively harsh and severe. I might add old law not updated. Many many places have old laws in the books that are never used anymore but still would be enforceable because they still exist as binding law. So LG and his team may have found just such a law or set of laws that they believe fit this situation and can be utilized to the benefit of the Crown. Oh please, please pretty please, let this be so!!

“when The devil drives”.

There is a novel by Scottish write Chris Brookmyre, with this same title. A dual plot, one a Shakespearean play being performed outdoors and a sniper kills someone, second plot a terminally ill woman wants to find her missing sister. The first is obvious, we don’t want that but security will be very tight on the tour l am certain. The second plot, are we being told there is a sister that is missing and still being searched out? Or is this nothing to do with the novel and the obvious meaning, once you’re riding with the devil nothing good and only reviled happens. I am inclined to think maybe a bit of both.

🎼 “over and over and over again my friend”🎼

This song has been performed and covered by many. The endless ways one tried to do things to be loved and keep someone happy. This is PH over and over and over,he is publicly acting this out, the loving supportive husband and “anything Meghan wants Meghan gets”. He has done such a great job and this has resulted in him taking lots and lots of media heat!

(🤫🤫🤭💎💎💎💎👩🏽‍💻👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️👷🏿‍♂️ when in Rome!!!!)

Blood diamonds! We have had this in a previous riddle. Shhh, diamond, laptop, four workers with hard hats of colour. Did she order, or pick up her diamonds??. Or sell some??? I suspected from an earlier riddle blood diamonds were on the table for her, here l have confirmation . I am thinking with the use of laptop she communicated the deal and will pick up in Africa. Oh kids, this is getting good. HANDCUFFS CLANG CLANG,

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Fantastic PG! Things are heating up it seems! Thank you, we so appreciate all the work you put into this….especially on your days! ThNk you🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️

Ask Skippy submission

12 notes

Sep 22nd, 2019

———————-

68: sept.28

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

IT IS SOOOOOO GOOD TO BE BACK!!

MM Anon

MM ANON …… a slippery halo… … AFRICANT …… 🎼” you must have been a beautiful …” 🎼……… faux mother… no British archificial …… a crowd of booooos await……” so’ she Hates the bloody Brits”…… PB will destroy her thunder …… “ Malibu-hoo welcome “…… a $6 million drive in …… an uninterested Africa … PR pays for local hysteria … a white black imposter … well paid unimpressed mothers feel used …… “beef it up for Pakistan”

a slippery halo

The Halo Trust, the anti landlmine charity that a Princess Diana was such a part of and still thrives today because of her work . I remember 1997 , the land mine on the news, her walking, seems like yesterday. This is a double entebdré by our dear MM ANON. Harry has been slaughtered by the media for being a spoilt petulant entitled man. The halo or crown of the Prince 🤴 is slippery now in public opinion. LET’S PRAY FOR OUR HARRY🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

AFRICANT

Can or can’t, the version of cannot. Nothing has been good, happy, meaningful about her presence on this holiday, it’s not a royal tour. Just wonder what other stunts she is going to pull, because we are going to get another video of amw with oh happy day in the background music. By the way, is she paying royalty rights for using that music , the performers? Catherine cannot and does not put a foot wrong. This one cannot even put a hair right!

… 🎼” you must have been a beautiful

You must have been a beautiful baby, you must have a beautiful child! Singing as l type, great old song. Drive all the girls wild, l think is one line. He sure is a cutie, that’s for sure!

faux mother

As below, she doesn’t possess an ounce of mothering instinct. She can’t because that takes away from attention on her. This is exactly why amw was not at the play date.

no British archificial

So is he born in SA? Not royal, less than that not even British. Good God this woman is moronically stupid! Makes sense that he was in SA, that’s why the dolls have been in use, Christening photo, photoshopped, first photo that was barred by the palace from being used after June, can’t recall exact date. She picked this child up while in SA so she could throw him up in the air, climb up steps in five inch heels to copy Catherine , show off a real baby, who didn’t respond to her at all except when she dug her hands into him and he involuntarily winced. THIS US MADNESS PEOPLE!! This poor child, now his face is forever plastered. In one photo, l thought l noticed a strong resemblance to papa TM!

a crowd of booooos await

Oh Kuwait, l am rubbing my hands together, wait until the return to the UK! NOW the gloves are off, she will be booed and booed, good luck to her on any engagement or public appearance. Boo boo boo are coming. People are beyond furious in the UK and Commonwealth!

” so’ she Hates the bloody Brits”

This is PP, piping in his comments l oh Sir, l feel so bad for you having this to deal with. HMTQ needs your love and sumore than ever! Steady on Sir, steady on!

PB will destroy her thunder

I am so happy for Princess Beatrice and Edo, their engagement photos both the colour ones that Eugenie took, and the black and white ones, l cannot recall the photographers name just now. I was soooooo happy to see the news and what a payback for her stealing the thunder meaning spoiling someone’s excitement, on Eugenie and Jack’s wedding day by wearing that huge coat to stir attention to possibility of her being pregnant. Who knew how that fauxmegnancy would turn into such a mess. As does everything with her!

“ Malibu-hoo welcome “

Will she be welcomed with hoos or boos in Malibu when she just leaves once she has her nest padded, or so she thinks. I don’t see her living the high life in a mansion. She might check into hotel California but she may never leave. Justice is coming! The IRS will want it share of the 250K as well as all she has purloined. The US , l believe is the only country in the world where no matter where you live you still pay taxes on EVERYTHING!!!

a $6 million drive in

Ha ha, reminds me of summertime, movies st the drive-in, l think the place she will eventually live will be mouth many tens of millions, have the best security and the best staff. It will also require wearing of an orange jumpsuit or its equivalent!!

an uninterested Africa …

As l have written below, NOBODY CARES ABOUT HER, People are struggling to get by. SA has had water problems for years! Droughts, poverty, the sky high murder rate and domestic abuse, she isn’t even in the radar of importance.

PR pays for local hysteria

The ‘crowds’ on the tree stump she stood🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂 the great Plato sharing infinite words of wisdom and insight. The video with DT was privately arranged, paid for. People have been bussed in as paid extras so it appears she has people who adore her. I saw an interview with three regular women walk-in down the street, he asked if they knew of a big event, they looked at each other , nothing. He said royal, then they came out with Harry but not a one of them knew her name. Ooooooo the sting!The burn! I hope she saw that!

a white black imposter

Blackface used to be a thing decades ago, Al Jolson, in the first talking picture/movie made it famous, well it already was actually. White people putting black on their faces and pretending to be black to perform or at parties etc. Here we have the screamer of racist, troll, racist troll, her two twitters that l follow are.CcccRrrrraaaazzzzyyyy. She talks to herself, to Sam, sometimes tweeting from both alternately. She of the racist card, has spent her life identifying as Caucasian, her immense use of bronzer gets worse day by day, except it seems to me on this ‘tour’ her makeup is less, her clothes are dishevelled, she looks a mess. She is trying to pass as black so it’s fits her narrative right Sister?!? Passing, years ago meant someone of colour who appeared Caucasian could appear or pass as being white and avoid the racism. She disgusts me 🐍.

well paid unimpressed mothers feel used

These women who allegedly paid 50K to have a half hour ‘lunch’ with her, made to sit on the floor, which culturally is soooooooo inappropriate given that is done when grieving or in mourning. God please bring the Justice and remove her from this family right into a nice colour of orange, she seems to like jumpers or whatever they are called in the UK, that one piece thing she wore, so orange to match her bronzer which she has amazingly used so much less of, in the photos l have seen.

“beef it up for Pakistan”

To beef something up, is to make it stronger, better more secure. The Cambridges are heading off for a Royal tour, let me say that again, A ROYAL TOUR😁 to Pakistan. Security issues have been in discussions and this trips itinerary will be not be as publicized due to those issues. Now it is sounding like, by this clue, that they have had to increase the already planned security measures. There is always the possibility the risk is too great and things would have to be cancelled. That would be a disaster in relationship building but safety first! Remember Harry is #1 on the Taliban hit list and that risk is by extension a factor.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Fantastic! Thank you PG! You are right on your game! So appreciate this!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

Sep 28th, 2019

————————-

69: Sept. 28

Is this a new thing MM ANON. Two riddles in one Day?🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON, ITS SO AWESOME TBE BACK DOING THESE🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

MM Anon

skippyv20

MM ANON …… second son walks alone … bonfires of PR. …… a great rip off … another archificial field trip… a home run …… a lot of backlash back home …… sugar coated photos……… “is it time to go it alone “…… “THE TAPE HAS BEEN SOLD” …… “ for posterity old thing”…… burying it with the rest. ……… 🎼 “ riders on the storm” 🎼

second son walks alone

Our Harry, walks alone, many in the public have been so critical of him, they can’t see the truth or haven’t taken the time to inform themselves. He is our Harry, l don’t care what anyone says, he is a man literally physically fading away, he’s so thin, dishevelled, being with her, l cannot imagine. To me, he deserves a medal for serving to HMTQ ! He has been and will remain in my prayers. Literally speaking he was walking alone in that minefield, or former minefield. What a metaphor for his life eh? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

bonfires of PR.

I remember being in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 for Bonfire 🔥 night as we called it or Guy Fawkes day . Old history about Scottish rebellion and a bomb being placed in parliament etc etc look it up, its interesting. Anyhow it’s still great fun in Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 every November. So MM ANON is using bonfires to describe the PR , basically it’s all explosive!

a great rip off

The fee she is charging especially that lunch just using people for maximum cash value. I am positive she has other side deals going on. I recall that last riddle l dud days ago with the clue being diamonds, workers in safety coloured vests, men of colour, a woman at a laptop. You remember it, lead me to think she is sourcing blood diamonds for resale. Everything with her is a rip of, all a grift, capsule collection, using people even a baby for her personal gain!

another archificial field trip

Oh as l said in the other riddle, we are going to see another privately filmed, ore arranged appearance of amw, l bet she is being paid for these appearances. I just hope his socks fit this time and may a pair of shoes, a blanket, a toy/stuffier and a bib or rag for drool.

a home run

Baseball, America’s game. Home run, hit the ball out into the stands, run all the bases until the final base which is called home base and you’ve made a home run. But MM ANON you sly lady🤣🤣🤣, you are not talking baseball. She is going to do a runner and head home! Be gone, be gone, go face the IRS🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣

a lot of backlash back home

Oh my oh my, showing him publicly live in the flesh for the first time in SA and not in the U.K. has lit a match under a huge pile of 🧨 dynamite. She is and has been playing with fire. People are FURIOUS and they already hate her! I cannot wait to hear the boos. I think the English politeness is gone, as MM ANON has said in other riddle, she has made her bed or beds🤣🤣🤣, she must lay in it. But the sad thing is she doesn’t give a whit of care or respect for HMTQ, the BRF nor the public of the U.K. or the Commonwealth!

sugar coated photos

Oh the sugars have literal gone crazier seeing archficial , like Pinocchio is now a real boy, not rubber anymore but flesh and blood. No seeing what’s so obvious, no relationship, the child doesn’t know her, climbing those steps in stilettos , holding him, unsafely, then roughly, tossing him in the air, the look of concern on DT daughter she even put her own arms up lest amw get dropped. Oh heavens how tacky were those cookies, sweets with words written on them, banana-gate2.0!

“is it time to go it alone “

Is the her or him going it alone? I doubt at this point, if Harry ended it, there would still be screams of racism. I think she is padding her nest in SA and planning her post-divorce life. Good luck with that project Rachel!

“THE TAPE HAS BEEN SOLD”

The infamous tossed salad tape sold at last. All uppercase. I am certain either the BRF has it, or a good friend of the BRF has secured it for them and they have it!! Who hoo !! Happy day! 😂😂😂😂😂just reminded me of her abuse of that beautiful song Oh Happy Day. I really wish she took those words to heart, the second line is when Jesus washed my sins away. I want no soul condemned but she has to choose.

“ for posterity old thing”

Again our PP, speaking, saving the video and dossier perhaps for posterity. When you save something for posterity, it means you hold onto it, keep it safe because you never know when you might need it!

burying it with the rest.

Wondering did the BRF buy the video, and just keeping that and all the other things in her dossier burying it in the secret files. I highly doubt they will reveal too much species publicly. The marriage will dissolve as a natural course, she can’t adjust etc etc. The BRF and PH. Publicly have done everything and then some to welcome her, they are spotless in this!

🎼 “ riders on the storm” 🎼

The Doors, classic album. He died in Paris and is buried there, it’s a place to visit for many fans.This is a classic song but dark in lyrics. Speaks of home one is born into poor ie dog no bone, don’t want lyric infringement so l adjusted that. Speaks of a killer , a family dying in a car crash. Speaking in the chorus that a woman needs to love and support her man. Put these all together at , pardon the pun, but they are a perfect storm for describing what’s Harrys life has been and is. Lost his mum is a car crash, his wife born into grifting family allegedly. Certainly getting no love and support from her. Today, well yesterday now, but seeing him sitting where she sat, with the now woman who was the girl she comforted, him all alone by the tree, didn’t you just want to take him in your arms and comfort him? Tears now……

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you dear PG! I am in awe! You are brilliant! A very rough day for Harry I am sure….🙏🏻💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

Sep 28th, 2019

————————

70: Sept. 29

💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR MM ANON, I KNOW YOUR TISK IN DOING THIS FOR US, TO SEEK THE TRUTH AND GET IT OUT IN THE OORN🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜

Did l ever tell you all, l do the riddles from bottom to top? I don’t know why, l used to look at the Sears catalogue from the back too, l still look at magazines back to front. A fun wacky PG fact!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂

MM Anon

skippyv20

MM ANON …… Cape Town closure ……bells and whistles farewell … on returning, a tour… an unpopular reluctance …… disinformation …… the fence that won’t mend…… club class flying isolation …… Heathrow paps…… no rest for the wicked …… “Hello Boys”…… “He needs a parade”…… “ not another bloody investigation” …… now D&G not H&M. …… cosmetic records!!!! O,no

… Cape Town closure

They officially closed the Cape atone part of the tour and flew out September 29,2019. I was going to say today but l know this is a worldwide blog so l thought l would put that in there. The itinerary has them leaving from Johannesburg, and returning to London. I am sure most of Cape Town citizens had no idea they were there, if they did, no one cared really.

bells and whistles farewell

This whole entire holiday has been just bizarre, her behaviour, a real live baby, was that baby really a boy or just presented as such. We all know the baby shower was for a girl baby, the BRF/LG so so so clever!!! Turned things around that it was a boy baby, that video of them showing amw to a few selected UK and US/CBS reporters was bizarre, at Windsor Castle. She looked so nervous, and PH said they grow so much in two weeks, the glare she gave him!! You know it, you all saw it! Will there be a whiz bang goodie doo? I think likely, paid, bussed in, waving goodbye. I have visions now of O showing up!

on returning, a tour

Oh my goodness, is SS already planning a return trip, as she has been showered with love and praise by thousands and thousands , the crowds have been massive and amazing , kind, amazingly kind, and kind of amazing! NOT!!! I hope you got my attempt at using her favourite words and l tried her amazing kind of word salad, so kind and amazing of me to be so amazingly kind!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

an unpopular reluctance

Reluctance means unwillingness or disinclination to do something. She is unwilling in any way shape or form to put celebrity aside and take on her proper duchess role. But this makes sense because there was never supposed to be a wedding let alone a baby. Using the word unpopular putting it mildly.

I do think this may refer to PA and his reluctance or downright refusal to be part of the F.B.I. requests for an interview with him regarding his friendship with JE, GM. and other things like VRG allegations. I do not know how long his refusal can go on.

disinformation

PR PR PR PR constant disinformation. One might use the word lies!! It’s been sickening to see and read in the papers. It has Albee’s thus wth her and it will forever be. Oh l just had to let out a big sigh because it’s so sad, and the baby ring used, disinformation about his age, everything about him is one huge example. There is nothing worse than using a child. Scripture says “Suffer the children to come unto Me, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven “ the exact is

Matthew 19:14 King James Version (KJV)

14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven..

the fence that won’t mend…

Mending fences has an obvious meaning, fix a broken fence. However it can be used as a metaphor, fixing a brook relationship for example. I think this is what MM ANON is referring to. Madam, initially when she came on the scene was ‘a breath of fresh air’, marvellously inclusive and welcomed into the U.K. and Commonwealth, and into the ‘family she never had’. Many , including PW had grave concerns. It didn’t take very long for the bloom quickly began to fade. There is ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE IN A MILLENIA INFINITY! that her relationship with the British public, most members of the BRF, the Commonwealth and many around the world , can ever be mended. It has been irrevocably broken. Complete disregard and blatant disrespect for HMTQ! And a laundry list of grifting, disgusting behaviour, plus her complicated filthy past. No mending of this fence is even wanted, never mind attempted. GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

club class flying isolation

The return flight, again commercial l am sure, back to London should be interesting. She and her team, will again be prattling on about how successful and awesome the tour is, IF BY THE WAY, she and her smuggled alleged living diamond , amw, if she wants baby in London, or just leave is SA. and carry on with dollies. My sentence structure is horrendous but IF BY THE WAY, l meant IF she can get through customs. Do babies need passports, Royal Allegedly babies? Was he sleeping on arrival and she got archficial through that way. I don’t know how, strict customs are with royalty.

On the flight, Harry will be alone, not involved in anything because it’s all about a madam. I noted today how sloppy he looked catching that flight in t shirt and jeans, wrinkled, he has been wearing those ratty brown suede shoes the entire time. He suited up well though earlier and l an certain when he means the High Commissioner he will hopefully be dressed for it. I keep repeating myself, but his looks and behaviour are SCREAMING FOR HELP, HE HAS COMBAT FATIGUE! I am so worried, he’s wasting away, remember the interview when he was in uniform and something urgent was happening, he took off his mic and ran to see what needed doing? Remebhow fit and muscular he was? Look now, dishevelled clothes, those brown shoes😩, looks like he cannot sleep etc etc etc. I know l keep repeating myself but please LG, l know he is getting help behind the scenes, but our Harry is at such risk now, in his depression, l do worry greatly for him!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Heathrow paps

Oh my my my my my!!!! The media and paparazzi will be waiting at Heathrow, if that’s where they land, they might be cheeky and land at Gatwick or elsewhere. The media when they return and subsequently is going to be scathing!!!!! Again read her twitters, petal is in SA talk about the Sussexes non-stop but denies being her, petal calls her baby bubs has done for quite sometime. In SA, big reveal, amw nickname is Bubba ☺️☺️☺️🤣🤣🤣. We are not talking about Einstein here! It would be funny if it weren’t so dangerous!

no rest for the wicked

She had all her private things planned during this holiday. Yet she still manages centre stage by foisting herself via IMessage or Skype l think to be with the classroom where PH was in Malawi. All about CAMFED campaign for female education . She just cannot let him go, except when he could have really needed love and support, in Angola, the mine field, him sitting all alone by the tree named after his mum. Oh self seeking narcissistic behaviour, she lives a Master Class of it.

“Hello Boys”

I can’t remember the name of the film, it might be Hello Boys actually! It’s fantastic Bette Midler at her finest, set further war, WWII, she goes on tour to entertain the troops, she would appear on stage all gussied up looking gorgeous and sing for them, she is amazing. Great film! I wonder MM ANON are you relating madams behaviour to the character in the film?? Going on tour and putting on a show!!! I might be way off but that’s a great film!

“He needs a parade”

Support and love for Harry! Agree wholeheartedly! Yes he made a bad choice of bootycall that was his choice,who of us is without sin and can cast the first stone? This was all pre-planned, they would have kept at it, until it worked. I think he needs medals of the highest order for service to the Crown, HMTQ, his granny. He needs away time, months of privacy, therapy, perhaps medication, he ,Ishtar we’ll be on anti-depressants already! HE NEEDS PRAYER🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. This is evil at work, it’s a nefarious web planned, he was shared in it.

“ not another bloody investigation”

What now? What’s the next thing? Well PA is in a spot of trouble, putting it mildly. He has hired a new PR guy, Jason Stein, former Amber Rudd’s bulldog, lost his job when she quit recently! The paper says he is a ‘master of the dark arts’! The same was said about SS. What are the ‘dark arts’ these PR people use??? Anyhow, there are more accusers , resulting further Epstein investigations in America. The F.B.I. are more insistent upon an interview. The palace statement and PA years ago when this first came up, were emphatic he had NO sexual contact or interaction with VRG. They are not commenting today, read the article in the Daily Mail, if you’re inclined. They are saying, royalty is not an issue, years ago it was swept away. Since the #metoo movement the world has changed. Many many famous men have been charged, Bill Cosby, many famous American media personalities, actors, Weinstein, . This week l was chuffed to hear Wexner been charged in connection with Epstein! If you don’t know Les Wexner, look him up. He’s an American billionaire, one of his many businesses is Victoria’s Secret! Buy from them, you give money to an alleged sexual predator! I am not recalling just now his other businesses, but very very wealthy men have been and are being brought to justice. PA is in serious trouble. The ,ore he refuses to cooperate and scream he’s royalty, he is dragging out the inevitable. Poor poor HMTQ, l just feel so bad for her!

now D&G not H&M

Baby Archie wore H&M to meet DT, which was subsequently marched and appeared officially on H&M advert and website l think website. Now baby Archie will appear wearing D&G. Dolce and Gabbana highend designer Italian clothes. This woman never fails to put a foot wrong. I don’t know if Archie was wearing it while she carried him to catch the plane to Johannesburg , the photos again captured through a clear glass walled corridor. Did anyone else think the ‘baby’ she was carrying looked a lot smaller than amw who met DT? Or was it just me? I would love a side by side photo. Maybe l am totally off.

cosmetic records!!!! O,no.

I am not sure if these two clues go together but this is how they appeared to moi. Are there records surfacing or in possession of the BRF and LG’s team of investigators that show the extent of work she has had done, especially since coming onto the scene with PH? We know something was up at U.S. Open, she had that invisible medical tape over her nose 👃🏻, yes l purposely use that colour of nose! We all have seen her nose appears to be collapsing, those darn hobbies can show up in real physical manifestations ie wide eyed , dilated pupils, agitation, hyperness, just read the twitters feeds that will show you bizarre behaviour, also noted the times tweets are sent!

As far as O, no…..PH is/ has reportedly been working with an O on mental health programs for a fruit tv channel. I have no idea where things are st with that. Is she going to come back on the scene in Africa. I know she has sponsored a school there, where there had to be some firings of l think the administrator , look it up!! I have visions now of her showing up for a surprise appearance with madam. Oh gracious, make it stop! PLEASE😩😩😩😩😫😖😖😖

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you so much dear PG! Seems much coming….Seeing your humour and wonderful personality shining through….is wonderful, you are BACK! Thank God for our Dear PG!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜. Sept. 29, 2019

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

Skinny Love

Masterlist

WC: 1,532

Warnings: angst, sort of fluffy ending, implied bulimia and depression, a handful of cusswords

A/N: This is my submission for @waywardrose13 ‘s #Rose500challenge and my prompt was “Skinny Love”-- Birdy’s version. 

I’ve never had any personal experience with bulimia, so please keep in mind this is fiction and I just went with it for the song. It didn’t turn out like I wanted, but sometimes that happens haha.

.

.

“Sammy, I’m telling ya, you’ve got some competition. Y/N pretty much carried us on this one and, lucky for me, she was the one saving my ass while you were off taking a nap or whatever you were doing. Seriously-- where’d you learn to fight like that?” 

Dean was almost giddy as the three of you walked out of the barn that had, only moments ago, housed one of the largest vamp nests any of you had ever come across.

Sam grimaced and you shrugged with a smug smile. “Y’know Dean, I can’t ever remember a time in my life when I didn’t kick ass. There’s just some things that can’t be taught. If you ever want to try though, I’d be happy to give you some lessons on how to be as awesome as me.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you can give some pointers anytime you want.”

The boys laughed and you savored your last few hours with them. After grabbing a late dinner and checking out of the motel you’d been sharing, you parted ways with the Winchesters and watched the impala disappear into the night. As the taillights faded, you felt the emptiness you always tried to hide within began to swell.

Come on skinny love just last the year Pour a little salt we were never here My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

Even though your hunt with the Winchesters had turned out well, you couldn’t stop thinking about the moment Dean had almost died because of you. There was always a chance a hunt might go south, but Dean had knocked you out of the way to save you. Sure, you’d whirled around and beheaded the son of a bitch in time, but what if you hadn’t? What if Dean had…

You couldn’t even think about it.

Normally you could shove the guilt and blame that came with this life down with booze or the belief that you were saving others. Or you’d try to cover it up and seem more confident than you really felt. But lately all the bad-- all the loss-- seemed to be eating away at you.

You looked at your reflection in the motel mirror, not even recognizing yourself. Your cheeks had begun to sink in and you were pale.You hardly ate anymore and, what you did eat, you forced yourself to throw up.

Nothing you did was enough. You weren’t strong enough to be a hunter and protect the boys. You weren’t fast enough or smart enough to save everyone you’d lost. But you also weren’t interesting enough or pretty enough or skinny enough to make it in a “normal” life.

It had been a month since you’d seen the boys. Or was it two now? You weren’t even sure anymore.

The more you thought about everything you’d lost, the more upset you’d become. You were so overwhelmed and disgusted with yourself that you punched and tore at the veneer of your wood headboard, unable to find a more productive way to get rid of your frustrations. But as your anger had subsided, so did everything else you felt. Your hope. Your drive. Your will to fight.

You mindlessly watched the blood swirl down the drain under the steady stream of water. You fingernails and knuckles were raw, but still you felt nothing.

Tell my love to wreck it all Cut out all the ropes and let me fall My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my Right in the moment this order's tall

You’d felt yourself slipping for a while. There were several times you’d thought about opening up to the boys and asking them for help, but you’d decided not to burden them. Deep down you knew they cared about you--even if you only occasionally teamed up on hunts. They’d do anything for you, just as you’d do anything for them.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to call them.

You dried your hands and crawled back in to bed. You’d payed the motel in advance for an extended stay, but you weren’t sure how much longer you had. You didn’t even know or care what day it was anymore.

So you fell back asleep, wasting away and simply existing.

And I told you to be patient And I told you to be fine And I told you to be balanced And I told you to be kind And in the morning I'll be with you But it will be a different kind 'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets And you'll be owning all the fines

You’re phone vibrated. Again.

The boys had called and texted you several times. A lot of hunters had reached out to you actually-- asking for help or making sure you were okay because no one had heard from you in a while.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to answer their messages or even listen to most of them.

Your phone finally stopped buzzing as the voicemail picked up. You pulled the covers up to your chin and groaned when you heard a buzz once more. Reaching to bedside table, you tilted your phone and looked at the screen. For a moment, you almost felt...something as you saw Dean’s name.

“Y/N, we’re coming to find you. If you don’t answer this message, I swear I’m going to bust down every door from here to Canada until I find you. Please---”

You didn’t bother to unlock your phone and see the rest of his message. Returning it to the table, you turned on your side and pulled the covers over your head.

Come on skinny love, what happened here? Suckle on the hope in light brassieres My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

Incessant banging on your door woke you from your nap. You let out an annoyed sigh, but made no effort to answer it.

“Y/N?” A loud voice called.

Was that Sam?

“Y/N, if you’re in there, open up or I’m kicking the door in!”

That was definitely Dean, and you felt a faint twinge of guilt for not answering. But you couldn’t.

There was a splintering crash as the door was kicked open, but you continued staring at the wall across the room.

“Dean, what if she’s…”

You could imagine their reactions at seeing your room in disarray. You hadn’t bothered to pick up after your meltdown, and you’d have to pay for the headboard you tore apart. Your clothes and take-out bags were strewn across the floor and you really only bothered to turn on a light when you went to the bathroom.

When was the last time you did laundry? Or showered? What if you smelled? You were vaguely embarrassed, but not enough to move. You just couldn’t fight anymore.

Dean made his way around the bed cautiously, afraid of what he might find. When he saw your eyes were open and you shifted them enough to acknowledge his presence, he sighed and dropped to his knees.

“Y/N,” he breathed in relief as he ran a hand through your hair and let it rest on your cheek. “Sweetheart, what the hell happened here? Why haven’t you answered any of our messages?”

And I told you to be patient And I told you to be fine And I told you to be balanced And I told you to be kind And now all your love is wasted Then who the hell was I? 'Cause now I'm breaking at the britches And at the end of all your lines

You finally opened up to them about the secrets you’d kept for so long. About all of your insecurities and flaws. With each confession, the emptiness inside of you ate away at you a little less. You began to cry and Dean simply hugged you tighter. 

The boys let you rest and tended to your injured hands. Dean had crawled into bed and held you for hours as you slept on and off. Sam ran to town and picked up some soup for you. They didn’t force you to eat a lot, but they made sure you kept it down.

Who will love you? Who will fight? And who will fall far behind?

They stayed up with you all night and into the morning.

“Y/N, we wish you’d come to us sooner and...and I’m sorry we never noticed how much you were struggling. We don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t come to us. All these things you dislike about yourself...we’ll find a way to help you see you’re enough.”

“We’ll fight this together,” Dean continued for his brother. “You’re not a burden and we love you so damn much. Sammy and I have both had our share of giving up and not seeing a way out. But you’re so damn strong-- and you’re sure as hell not alone. You’re coming with us to the bunker-- no discussion.”

“Thank you,” you whispered. It was all you could manage.

“That’s what family’s for, sweetheart.”

Come on skinny love

My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my

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[zillanewt]

Merc With A Trashmouth

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

summary: Despite growing up in Derry together, the two boys went down two very different paths. Richie is the world’s most notorious mercenary and assassin, while Eddie is none other than New York’s sweetheart - the literal poster boy for bringing justice to baddies without unaliving them. This is the self-indulgent spideypool!reddie au that literally nobody asked for. 

pairing: reddie

words: 1.2K

warnings: gratuitous cussing (bc this is deadpool!richie ofc), non-graphic violence (again, deadpool au), mentions of child abuse (it’s only one or two lines)

A/N: wow so idk if ive ever told yall, but im such a huge marvel fanboy and this is a fucking pleasure to write. ok so Richie’s backstory on how he became a mercenary is very vague for a reason, because nobody is actually sure of Deadpool’s backstory in canon, soooo. There’s also quite a bit of fourth wall breaking because Deadpool. I feel like this kinda sucks and is a little underdeveloped, so please let me know what you think! Please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!

Kids who left Derry were fucking strange. But that wasn’t saying much when those who stayed were either absorbed into the evil cogwork of the town’s sinister behaviors or abducted by a demonic sewer clown.

Though, none of these things truly mattered to Richie Tozier.

He supposes he would’ve been strange even if his parents hadn’t even birth to him in that shithole town. Besides, he’s 95% sure all that Pennywise shit happened in another universe, so it’s not like anybody would know what the fuck he’s talking about if he brought it up.

Still, you had to be a special kind of fucked up to be sitting masked in a Toronto bar while a man offers you money to kill another man.

“There are important business transactions happening here, so you won’t get my tragic backstory quite yet, sweetheart.”

The man sitting across from Richie looks confused, yet unsurprised that the mercenary is speaking to thin air. There are always whisperings about how crazy the man is, so nobody expects him to be any less than completely psychotic. If you walked away from a conversation with him without a bullet in any of your limbs, it could be considered a complete success.

“We have an offer for you,” the man said in a low voice, sliding a manila folder across the table. “High-pay target. We suspect him to be Spider-Man. He has been interfering with our drug rings in New York.”

The second Richie opened the file, his heart was hit with a pang of worry, then a wave of rage. In small black typed letters was “Eddie Kaspbrak,” then stamped over in a bright bold red were the words “TERMINATE.” There’s going to be hell to pay for whoever thought this would be a funny April Fools joke to pull on him.

“No,” he growled, tossing the file back onto the table. “He’s from Derry. This guy couldn’t even complete a lap in gym class. What in the fuck makes you think he could possibly Spider-Man?!”

The man instantly shrinks back from Richie’s yelling, slightly in fear for his life.

“People change, Tozier,” the man reasons, then chooses to go for the low blow. “You did, didn’t you?”

Every patron in the bar eavesdropping knew the comment was a mistake and so did the man, as regret instantly washed over him and his face paled. He took those few quiet seconds to silently say goodbye to his limbs.

“Get out,” he mumbled very quietly, almost like a hurt teenager.

“What?”

“Get out!!” he yelled at full volume now, not holding anything back. Sure, he killed people for a living, but damn...he still had feelings.

The man quickly gathered his belongings, sweeping Eddie’s file into his arms. His breathing stopped when Richie placed a crushing grip on his arm.

“Leave Kaspbrak’s file with me,” Richie demanded, determining the amount of pressure it would take to break this guy’s arm.

“I can’t do that Mr. Tozier! My boss will kill me,” the man said panicked but gave in when Richie began applying said pressure. “Ow! Ow! Ok! Ok! Take it! Just please don’t hurt me!”

As soon as he handled the file over, Richie let go, but he wasn’t quite satisfied yet. Before the frightened man could run away, he whipped out his gun.

“One more thing, Mrrr…” Richie said very calmly, a complete contradiction to his behavior only seconds ago.

“Reynolds,” the man whimpered, not taking his eyes off the gun in Richie’s hands.

“Mr. Reynolds,” Richie began, putting the barrel of the gun against the man’s forehead, in between the eyebrows. “You tell whoever the fuck you’re working for that nobody touches Eddie Kaspbrak or every single one in your filthy operation will become very familiar with my good friends here.” He gestures to his guns and the twin katanas strapped to his back.

“We Gucci?”

The man whimpers and nods, fleeing from the bar as soon as Richie puts his gun away.

“God,” Richie giggles, “they are so fun to scare.”

Sitting in this dirty bar, he realizes now he has Eddie’s information, but he’s not sure what to do with it. They haven’t talked in a good 10 years, and he’s not even sure Eddie would even care about him anymore.

It’s not like anybody really does.

But, some crazy part of him is screaming at him to find his childhood best friend and love.

“Uhhh no,” Richie says to no one in particular. “Eddie probably has a perfect life and family, and we kill people for a living.”

Would Eddie hate him if he knew who he grew up to be? Would he be disgusted? Would he find out what’s under this mask and be horrified?

It’s times like these he wishes he still had Stan to be his voice of reason. But then again, if that were reality, Richie wouldn’t be “the Merc with a Mouth.” He’d just be regular old “Trashmouth,” like he was when they were kids.

Constantly, he lays awake at night due to the pain and wonders whether his life would’ve been different if he didn’t move from Derry when he was 15. There was nothing Richie wanted to do more than stay with Eddie, but his father was relocated Canada. Though, that sounds like a relatively safe place to be, right?

It should’ve been, but his parents just would never stop fighting. It wasn’t that bad back in Derry, but the move put too much stress on them and they all snapped in their own ways. Mrs. Tozier yelled at her husband and son whenever she got drunk (which was quite often). Richie’s dad decided to take his anger out on his “idiot son” and would throw Maggie’s empty bottles at him.

Richie?

Well, Richie was a teenager. There was nothing else to do, but fall in with the wrong people and turn to violence. The violence provided money, which was his ultimate independence from the disaster of the Tozier household.

Truthfully, he doesn’t remember much else, due to his state of mental health. All he knows is that he now owns a full arsenal and always has weapons strapped to him, like a fucking lunatic.

And to think, just ten years ago he and the Losers were spitting loogies at the quarry and telling ghosts stories about “Pennywise the Dancing Clown.” Richie was at least glad he didn’t exist in the universe where that stupid clown actually tortured and tormented them. He didn’t need any more problems.

Carefully, he opened the file and looked at the picture of Eddie. This is him at 25, and he’s just as amazing as he was when they were kids. His skin is sun-kissed like it always was when they were younger. He still has all those freckles on his face. There’s a woman with him in the picture, probably his wife or girlfriend, kissing him on the cheek as he laughs.

Richie should be more bitter Eddie has all this - the beauty and a happy life - while Richie has literally nothing, but he just simply can’t be. He remembers how much Eddie struggled when they were kids, as his mother continually manipulated him and the Bowers gang constantly beat on him, but he was always kind to other people. If anybody deserves to be happy, it’s Eddie Kaspbrak.

And if Eddie really is Spider-Man, then Richie would truthfully be impressed and slightly aroused because he’s seen how tight that spandex is.

Maybe, it’s time to pay his old friend a visit….just to make sure no goons try to whack him off.

[hetaliawhatifs]

How would the 2p!s react to being slapped by their S/o?

I will say this loud and say this once….DO NOT EXPECT HAPPY ENDINGS with the 2ps. These boys take no shit. Some of them have been through enough.Also: Warning. Language, abuse, no good times. Alright? -Admin Jay

2p Canada: *rubs his cheek before his eyes go cold and he looks away from his s/o* “Get out. Just get out.”That half second of contact would end it all. Whatever he and his s/o had would be over. Matt has been through enough in his life, and to have someone he let in and trusted hurt him physically, it would be a blow across all boards. Emotionally, he would shut down. Any progress toward making him smile more, or be more open about how he feels would be gone. Physically, he wouldn’t bruise since he has been in worse fights with his brother, Allen, but he would always gently touch the spot where he was slapped and get enraged at the thought of it. He would isolate himself even more than he already did and just fall into long episodes of sleeping for days or just working himself until he passes out on the floor from exhaustion. Despite all of their fights, Allen would come through for his brother and be there, but his s/o would have a demon on there heels, Hell hath no fury like Allen enraged.

2p France: *stares down at the floor before gritting his teeth and pushing his s/o back as he growls* “Leave. And don’t even look back.”Francois would be shocked then utterly disgusted. Disgusted that he let himself believe that love was real, that love found him, that he believed in his s/o and their touch. He would never look at them, but would tell them to get their things and leave. For good. Without looking back. Francois would want nothing to do with them again. He let them into his heart, something he thought was long dead and they brought joy and life into his world, and they killed it. They stabbed him in the back and left him to emotionally rot. Francois would sink himself into a depressive cycle of smoking and drinking, packs upon packs, and bottles upon bottles. He would live in his kingdom of solitude in his house as he stops caring about everything, because he was right all along. Love is dead. It never existed in the first place. 

2p England: *bites his lip as he looks at his s/o with heartbroken eyes as tears well up in his light blue eyes, his trembling hand clutching slap mark*Oliver would be taken aback and be speechless as he looks at his s/o with pure fear in his eyes. He would be trembling as he staggers back from them and ends up tripping and falling on the floor as he curls up. He wouldn’t be able to look at them for a long time, though once he did he would look like a wounded child. Oliver would take a shaky breath before telling them to get out, he would need time to cope with what happened…but unlike everyone else in his little family…he would take them back. He would be convinced it was him he did something wrong and he deserved it. So he would welcome them back with open arms and sweets, but if they raised a hand near him in any way or just around him, he would flinch and be ready to be hit again. Oliver would forever be scared of what his s/o is capable of, but would still want to be with them…because he loves them. And love needs to stay strong.

2p America: *stumbles back a step as he is caught off guard, but soon his eyes would flash a murderous red as he growls and swings back at his s/o, full strength and no regrets*Allen has been abused in his life too many times; he can’t even keep track. If his s/o dared to hit him, he would not hold back as flashbacks of his childhood and every other time come back to him in a flash. He would swing hard and fast, and mean every inch of the pain. Allen would growl at them as he stands above them panting and glaring down at them before grabbing his belongings and leaving out the front door, or kicking his s/o out with all of their things. He would mentally and emotionally check out for the time in front of his s/o, but for days afterward he would be filled with rage. Nothing would be safe from his anger as he takes it out on the world and his own body: anger that he let someone in who would hurt him, anger that he wasn’t strong enough to stop it before it got to that point, anger that he was alone again. Allen, in a moment of desperation, would seek out Matt for a good fight and just to have someone nearby who he knows he can trust. The only one he can trust. 

2p Russia: *doesn’t even flinch, but stares them down with eyes made of pure ice*Viktor wouldn’t speak. Viktor wouldn’t move. Viktor would just stare his s/o down with the iciest eyes possible and just wait for the tension in the room to choke them. He would let his intimidating size, icy and vengeful glare, and the ominous tension say everything for him. They are over, there is no taking it back, and they had only moments to flee before wrath is rained down upon them like hell fire. Viktor would not tolerate any kind of abuse from his s/o, especially if they had been making him open up over time. Any notion of him being sweet, or becoming more friendly would die on the spot. Winter would come, and the eternal snow would last for ages. 

2p China: *gasps and backs up before looking at his s/o and biting his lip* “T-that…wasn’t for play…just…go…go away…”Zhao is into some rough play, but even he knows when play time is over. And as soon as his s/o’s hand contacts him in a harsh slap, he would know that it was over. Their relationship would be ended right there, and he would need time to really process all that happened. He would tell his s/o to leave and would have them take their stuff with them. Zhao would take a long time to recover from the blow in every sense, which means he may relapse into some heavy drug usage…but in the end he would come out of it alright and go back out on the prowl for a new partner. Why wait around and mope? Life is only so long.

2p Germany: *hardly moves but looks at his s/o with a raised eyebrow and gently touches the slap mark* “You really didn’t think that through, did you?”Lutz is a big guy. Big guys hit hard. If his s/o is looking for a fight, they found it. He won’t swing right away, but if that is what he deems necessary, then he will swing. Though at first, he wouldn’t take them seriously, he would hardly feel the slap. He goes through worse during his workouts, or trying to be near Luciano when the Italian rages. He would laugh at his s/o’s attempt, and if they are angry he knows it would only make it worse. Let it. He can take them in a fight and if they can make up after that, then they will be fine. If not, they can leave. Lutz won’t let anyone rain on his parade. 

2p Italy: *gasps then growls as he whirls around to glare down his s/o, murder in his eyes as he clenches his fists and starts to yell* “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”Luciano is a fighter. He would not take this offense lightly, and his s/o better be ready for a riot. He would turn and scream, hit, and if his knife is close, he would threaten them. Luciano refuses to let anyone have the upper hand on him, and if that means having to get a little bloody, then so be it. After yelling, screaming and fighting back against his s/o, Luciano would throw them out. Every last item of theirs, Luciano would chuck as far as he could from his door and make them pick it all up as he slams and locks the door behind him. Not to mention, they wouldn’t be free from him. He will have revenge, the questions are, when, where, and how horrible will it be. 

2p Japan: *catches their wrist before they can hit him and squeezes it tightly before staring directly into their eyes* “Don’t. Even.”Kuro would not take any shit from his s/o, if they tried to hit him, they wouldn’t even be fast enough. He would catch their wrist and squeeze it until they felt unbearable pain, and not let go. He would stare them down and make them submit to him before he even loosened his grip. Though, Kuro would make sure they pack all of their things and left. He wouldn’t have time to deal with that, and would want them gone. No messages, no goodbyes, no affection. Just a cold stare and the door slamming behind them. And locking.