#I have the core of it done I just need to finish the background and the discussion

[doctor-bus]

not me doing the worst fucking job on an assignment for a strict professor lmao

[thewritetofreespeech]

pleeease do the wedding headcanons for bg3!! can you do all the main boys (and maybe ascended astarion??) 💍

Gale

Gale does try to subtly warn you that it will be a big wedding, with the Dekarios Clan far & wide, but you hadn’t realized how big.

Cousins, uncles, aunts, friends of the family, friends of friends of the family all come to attend. To the point that you can’t have sides at the wedding as the groom’s side would swell over the other. So you choose to have no sides.

Gale’s mother is head of the clan and officiates the wedding. Utterly beguiled by you and the happiness you bring to her son. And a day she thought would never come while he was intwined with a goddess.

Tara acts as ring bearer. A title she is at first insulted about but then refuses to give up. No take backs.

They will have to transmute another wing onto the tower for all the presents. Gale blushes & stammers at other well wishes of having children right away. He’s not against it but he wants to have you to himself a little while longer.

Wyll

Given his background that I made up and also his rank in society as the eldest son of Ravengard, it was probably always an expectation of Wyll’s to get married. Family lines and all that.

Even when his life was in shambles, deep down he always believed that he would one day be free, get married, and have children with his partner.

It would be a very traditional wedding, with military aspects given his link to the Flamming Fists. This includes uniforms, sword arches, etc.

He cares very little for the formality but takes great pains to follow the traditions.

Wyll is much more interested in the reception. To dance with you who is finally all his, makes nearly ending with the world almost worth it.

Astarion

He’s surprised you want to get married and have a proper wedding. Can you just be continuing on as you are? Together because you want to be, not because you have to be. Astarion also doesn’t like…labels.

But, if it’s what you want, he supposes it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It’s just a big party at the end of the day, right? He likes parties.

It’s an intimate little affair with all your core friends come to join you. You couldn’t possibly have everyone you helped or made acquaintance with at the wedding. Astarion insists on keeping it small as you’ll never financially recover from all the ale you would need for that.

Makes his partners outfit and his own. Something matching, but not on the nose. More of a photo negative matching set. With no red. He doesn’t want to think about blood or the past today.

After it’s all said and done, Astarion can see what all the fuss might be about. To tell everyone you’re his. To tell everyone that you’ve chosen him. To have a symbol of that for all time. He’s glad you made him go through it.

Ascended!Astarion

Why? You’re already his. A piece of paper or foolish mortal ceremony is pointless when you have eternity together as Ascended and consort.

But….there are advantages to a wedding. Nobility and the merchant class of all Baldur’s Gate, not to mention powerful allies from afar, striding in like obedient lambs into his castle to pay tribute to the two of you. That is something he can get behind.

He has the grand ballroom flooded with night orchids, casablanca lilies, and any other night blooming flower he can think of. Just because they have to have the ceremony at night doesn’t mean that he’ll have your wedding be dull and dingy, devoid of color.

A costume change couple as there is an outfit for the ceremony, the reception, first dance, and departure. All custom made with the finest materials available. The kind of craftsmanship that takes 7 seamstresses 7 days & nights to finish on time. But it’s worth it.

Astarion would dance you around the ballroom. As if you were the only two in the room. Floating on air. He’s completely lost interest in his schemes and guests with you in his arms. He’ll come back to them later but they aren’t important when you’re with him.

Halsin

Never believed in marriage or weddings. Binding another person to another with words seemed unnatural to him. People are free to come & go as they please.

But, he also never considered himself a monogamist until he met you. His heart shifting from more of the bear into the wolf. Do not wolves bite and mark their mates like they might do with rings?

It would be a very small wedding. And by small he means just the two of you.

Together in a forest, under Oakfather’s gaze, using a traditional hand binding of the druids with crowns of flowers and simple garb, you make your pledge.

He would want to consummate your marriage immediately. Right there under your marriage tree; if you let him. He could be persuaded to at least wait until you’re back at your home, but it better be a short walk. Otherwise he makes no promises.

[indifferent-depravity]

I technically have two but imma wait for one of them but could you do a smutty writing with an inexperienced/ virgin or just inexperienced reader x experienced carmy? And he gets off that he's one of the first who gets to touch the reader and that she's all his?

Minors DNI 18+

gif made by me

A/N: don't forget requests for everything are open so if you'd like to see anything from me feel free to drop it in my ask box :)

buy me a coffee!

help me escape abuse

my Etsy shop

~~~

“Carmy, come taste this!” You shout over your shoulder as you finish cooking, moving the pot off the burner. Carmen pads into the kitchen, resting his hands on your hips as he leans over your shoulder to look at the finished food. Warmth spreads through your body under his palms, sending a shiver up your spine. You carefully lift a spoon of the soup up to his mouth and he leans forward to taste it. The movement causes him to press harder against your back and your breath hitches at the feeling of his body against yours.

He lets out a hum, “It’s perfect, honey, well done. Let me just grab some bowls.” Your face burns at the praise and you turn your head to hide your reaction. He kisses your cheek and steps away with a squeeze of your hips, leaving your heart fluttering. He presses close again, setting the bowls down and your breath stutters as his lips brush against your shoulder, “Thank you for dinner.” He murmurs, voice gravelly as he presses another kiss to your neck.

You clear your throat, intent on ignoring the slow throb growing between your thighs from his kisses. You give him a smile, hands shaky as you fill the bowls. You turn to hand him one, “It’s nothing, you deserved a break from cooking.” You slip away from him, pecking his lips on your way to the table, “C’mon handsome, let's eat before it gets cold.”

After dinner, you curl up beside Carmen on the couch, a random cooking show playing quietly in the background as you share languid kisses. He runs a hand over your thigh, pulling your leg over his hip. He deepens the kiss, hand moving to grab a handful of your ass, rocking his hips against you. You feel the hard line of his cock against your core and you pull away with a gasp, pressing your hand against his chest. “W-wait, Carmy, I uh-” 

He furrows his eyebrows, eyes flooded with concern as he cups your jaw, “are you okay? Honey, I-I didn’t mean to do anything you didn’t-”

You shake your head, reaching up to cover his hand with yours, “It-It’s not that, It’s just- I haven’t-” Your cheeks burn and you hide your face in his shoulder.

Carmen’s cock twitches in his pants as the realization dawns on him. He turns his head to press a kiss to your temple, speaking against your skin, “You’re a virgin.” You squeak and nod, hands coming up to grip his shirt.

“I just- I don’t want it to be bad… for you.” You mumble into his shoulder, trying to curl in on yourself. He chokes on a groan and he coaxes you to look at him, chest heaving with each breath as he crushes his lips against yours. You let out a startled moan into his mouth, hands disappearing into his hair as you kiss back eagerly.

He runs his hand over your side, teasing the tip of his pinky under your waistband, “Fuck, I shouldn’t find that as hot as I do.” He groans, trailing hot kisses down your neck, sucking a mark over your pulse point. “Can I touch you, honey?”

You whimper and nod frantically, head tipping back with a sigh as he slowly pushes his hand into your shorts, fingers teasing the crease of your thigh, just shy of where you need him. Your hips lift without meaning to, a small whine escaping you as flames of flicker in your stomach, “Yeah, fuck Carmy, please touch me.”

He groans and lays you down on the couch, settling in the space between your thighs as he slips his fingers under your panties, brushing them against your aching core. You whine, pouting up at Carmen as he teasingly slides his fingers through your wet folds. He quiets you with a kiss, gently pressing a finger against your entrance. You gasp at the intrusion, tightening your legs around his hips as his finger slowly sinks into you.

“Relax, honey, gonna make you feel so good.” You nod with a whimper, twisting your fingers in his shirt as he slowly fucks you with his finger. You slowly relax against Carmen, quiet moans falling from your lips, and he rewards you with a kiss, carefully working another finger into you.

You choke on a gasp, body arching into him as he curls his fingers, causing a shiver to run through your body. He repeats the motion and your muscles seize, a cry leaving your throat as you cum on his fingers. He watches in awe as you fall apart underneath him, his cock throbbing in its confines.

“Fuck you’re beautiful like this.” Carmen’s voice is hushed as he leans over to kiss you, slipping his fingers out of you to grip your hips. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing as close to him as possible. He pulls away with a final peck to your lips and slips his arm around your waist, pulling you off the couch with him with ease. You squeak and wrap your legs around his hips as he makes his way into his bedroom.

“First time I get to do this should be in a bed,” He murmurs, laying you gently on the bed. He pulls your clothes off, placing gentle kisses against your skin as it’s bared to him. He pulls back to look at you and your face burns with embarrassment, causing you to cover your face with your hands. Carmen tuts, pressing your wrists against the bed, “don’t hide from me, honey.” He laughs at your whine, dipping down to peck your lips briefly before pulling back to rid himself of his own clothes.

He covers you with his body, gripping your thigh with a shaky breath as his cock brushes against your skin. “Carmy, baby,” You whine, arching against him, “w-will you- can you-” you blush and touch his wrist, guiding his hand to your cunt.

He hums, gliding his fingers through your slick folds, “You want me to make you cum again, honey?” You nod shyly and he grins, pressing his forehead against yours as he grips the base of his cock, pressing the head teasingly against your entrance, “Will you let me be the first man to be inside you? Please, honey?”

“Yes- Carm, please.” Your voice breaks, hips bucking against his.

“Fu-uck, of course, I will,” He presses his hips forward, hissing through his teeth as his cock slowly sinks into you, punching the air from your lungs. He presses his forehead against your collarbone as he bottoms out inside you, “God- you feel so good, never gonna let anyone else touch this pussy, s’all mine now.” He rolls his hips experimentally, drawing a high-pitched moan from you.

You nod, digging your nails into his shoulders as he thrusts into you, “‘m all yours, Carmy, fuck me-” He groans and pulls your hips against his, meeting his thrusts. He sinks his teeth into your shoulder, moaning into your skin as his hips speed up, the sound of skin against skin filling the room.

Tears burn your eyes as pleasure engulfs your body.  You let out a loud moan as Carmy hits a spot deep inside you. He rolls his hips, continuously hitting that spot with each thrust until you let out a sob, tears squeezing out of your eyes as he pushes you into another orgasm. You claw at his back, trying to pull him closer, angry red lines appearing underneath your nails. All you can do is hold on as he continues to fuck into you, the line between pain and pleasure blurring as each thrust sets your overstimulated nerves on fire.

Carmy’s hips stutter as you clench around him, a loud moan tumbling from his lips, “fuck- honey! ‘m gonna cum-!“ At the last minute he pulls out of you, letting his cum spill onto your stomach as he strokes himself through his orgasm.

You’re both breathing heavily as Carmen flumps down onto the bed next to you. A near hysterical giggle leaves you and he crooks his eyebrow at you, a smile growing on his lips as you giggle harder. “What’s so funny?” He asks and you shoot him a grin.

“Just didn’t think that was how my first time was gonna go.”

Carmen snorts, pulling you into his side, “Had to show you what you were missing.” You roll your eyes good-naturedly, tangling your legs with his as you sink into his embrace.

[mister-qi]

Mr. Qi Friendship and Romance Mod: 4/19 Progress Update

It's a working title, I'm trying to come up with something less wordy that still will pop up in Nexus searches.

I wanted to be able to track my progress, mainly for myself, but if you're curious, this is the state of the mod right now:

Writing:

Heart Events - the 2 heart event is fully written (with blocking directions), and the 6, 8, and 10 heart events are outlined. The 4 heart cutscene currently has me a bit stumped; I have ideas, but nothing concrete yet. I definitely now understand why Sam's 4 heart cutscene is him dropping an egg. 14 hearts is on the back-burner as a little treat to myself once I get further into things.

Generic Daily Dialogues - about 1/3 done, probably the highest priority for writing. I'm leaving his vanilla casino dialogue as the two heart dialogue, and the vanilla Walnut Room dialogue as his four heart dialogue, with a few small changes. And, since it's me, I have more marriage dialogue written than anything else...

Day-Specific Dialogues - very few written, lower priority. Hoping to have a lot of these made eventually, and I have plenty of ideas, but they aren't necessary for the core of the mod so they're on the back-burner for now.

Gift Dialogues - all 5 generic gift response dialogues are written, with an additional 22 dialogue lines for specific items/groups of items. I'm also up to around item 530 in figuring out what item corresponds to which dialogue/whether or not he likes it. Certain item groups, like cooked food, still need more lines, however. This is definitely something that should be low priority, but also something I'm really enjoying working on. Some personal favorites so far are-

[if given a fish (hated)]: "Eugh, it's all slimy..."

[if given a legendary fish (disliked)]: "If you must give me one of the rarest fish in the valley, can you at least wrap it so I don't have to touch it with my bare hands?"

And I think that's pretty funny.

Art

Portraits - 3 new portraits finished: "deep frown" "glint" and "glasses-less". I'll probably be messing with "glasses-less" for a looong while; it's first shown at a dramatic moment so it needs to look good. Blushing portraits are next on the docket.

Here's "glint" btw, with a background thrown on so I can have a custom icon. You know I gotta make him do the anime glasses thing a few times.

Sprites - no progress yet. Walk cycle is up next after I finish the blushing portraits. Did you know he doesn't have a walk cycle at all? [1.6 spoilers] in the cheated Summit cutscene where he attacks(?) you, he literally just slides at you very fast. Anyways, I may also change his map sprite a bit as well, since it was drawn to match his old portrait and doesn't actually have the same color scheme as his sprites. Note to self: is it possible to make the sparkles on his outfit prismatic?

Maps - no progress yet. The 6 heart and 10 heart cutscenes both require custom maps, with the 6 heart one being a fully custom asset. 10 heart recycles some existing assets but will still need some custom stuff done as well.

Misc Sprites - in my head, there's a dream version of the 8 heart cutscene that has so, so many unique sprites. Like an incredible amount of stuff. I think it'll kick ass, but also that sequence could be done with a few lines of text. So, for now, it's low priority. But maybe in a few months I'll put out a request for help.

Implementation

Not totally sure how to split this into sections yet, as I'm very much still in the preliminary stages so far. To say that I'm feeling overwhelmed is an understatement; documentation on the wiki swings wildly between "an asset is a file in a video game" and "this is an advanced tutorial. Read these 4 other pages first before continuing."

I've started using Ms. Coriel's NPC Creator which has been good for setting up the basic file structure, but ultimately doesn't cover some of the more complex stuff I want to do. EDIT: Turns out it's completely outdated for 1.6! Had to throw out a bit of work, but I still learned from it so it's fiiine.

I think setting up his "schedule" will be a challenge, in that I don't actually want him to have a real schedule like most NPCs. Not to pull back the curtain too much here, but I want him to "exist" in both the Casino and the Walnut Room simultaneously, which is to say, he does not exist in two places at once in the narrative, just in the code. This will change after marriage, however.

My next goal is to set up placeholder cutscenes for each of the heart events, and then to implement the generic daily dialogues once those are finished.

Final Notes

God, this will be a work in progress for a while, but I'm enjoying it! Definitely enjoying the writing more than anything else, but hey, that's how it be. I've got around 70 lines of dialogue written, a bit of art done, and I've started learning how to actually get stuff in game. I've always been more of a designer than a coder, but it's getting there!

ADDITIONALLY I've decided that if I abandon this project for more than 8 months, anyone is welcome to request my work so far and use it for their own mod. If this blog hasn't posted in a long while, feel free to send me an ask or message! I may say no, however.

Ultimately, I want this mod to exist in some fashion. While there is an existing one, I have a pretty different take on the character and I want to share it with you all! Every line of dialogue, every heart event, every little detail needs to share something interesting about a character and their world. Yet, Mr. Qi is a mysterious guy, and I think some things should be left up to player interpretation. And I think it's crucial to be able to match his tone and voice to the vanilla game, while also expanding on his characterization. It's a fun challenge to write, and I hope the finished product, uh, well I hope it gets finished mostly, but I think it'll be pretty good.

Thanks for reading all this. This is largely just a stream of consciousness for myself, but I hope it's...interesting, or something?

[bluginkgo]

Depression is hitting hard, but you know what hits harder? Eternal Dream with the context of ep7

I kid you not, I was doing regular chores and brain said "Hey, pssst, eternal dream is HELLA depressing now."

...

BRAIN I DID NOT NEED THAT-

So here's me dissecting Eternal Dream yet again but with images from ep7 just to cope ;w;

Spoilers duh

(indicate my thoughts/ramble/not part of the lyrics)

I am tired of this dream Will it ever end for me?

(Betrayal after betrayal, the general tiredness of being let down over and over)

I don't have the will to know... Can you help me see?

(This verse remains a bit up in the air for me, as it always has been. I'll try a jab at it though. This is Uzi asking for help. She's tired of the horrors, the secrets, and betrayals. She needs someone else to help her see that this is not a waste of time. She needs N to help her see that there is going to be someone to encourage her.)

Let my body keep you warm Let my essence be your breeze

(So, technically, these images are rather hard to connect. But going with "Let my essence be your breeze" everything that N does in the fighting scene is to get Uzi to return to herself. Her entire being and personality is what is driving N to fight so hard. And in turn her "essence" becomes his "breeze" and will to fight back in situations that seem hopeless.)

Can you hear me calling? Please look out for me

(And he does, despite fighting to the death, he still continues to look after her TwT)

Can you set me free? Will you take my soul away?

(I keep going back and forth on this one. But the more positive one would be if N could set Uzi free from the Absolute Solver, like he has done in ep4 and helped in ep7.)

Casting me in cold Bury me in bones Rest eternally

("Bury me in bones" was first made me think of even doing this silly thing 😅 Because Uzi is literally going to be buried in the grave of Absolute Solver cores and humans that the solver snagged during the core collapse.)

Will you take me home? Can we see the moon again?

(I'm mostly pulling on the moons because they're seen in the background. This can be taken also as a way of asking to go back to the old times. To the times when none of this happened before.)

Dancing in the dark

(Hey, I know I've overused this, but I still can't stop thinking that this was a nod back to ep3. Their entire fight seems like a dance... a brutal, angst-filled, dance ;w;)

'Till we fall apart

(You know, I WAS THE ONE THAT FELL APART TwT. In all seriousness, they did fall apart. Fell/forced apart by the events of ep7.)

I can't end this dream

(This is not the end. Despite being ready and accepting of death, I- personally, so feel free to yeet this into the void- believe her job is not done. She still has something else to settle. And this dream will not end until Uzi finishes that job.)

Does this make any sense? I reckon not. But I needed Eternal Dream out of my head, and this is the only way I could think of getting rid of it ;w;

[hath-e]

Take a relaxing taxi drive back from your long walk in Davao, or the Taxi ride scene from Gundam Hathaway

So this is a really short scene that could have been included in the post about the walk scene, but it deserves a whole post on it's own.

So this scene starts right where we left off, with the Man-hunter Jegan roaming the streets Hathaway jumps in the back of the first taxi he sees in order to get back to the hotel now that the Mafty businesses is done.

The unnamed driver starts small talk with Hathaway about the Man-hunters and Mafty, he's shows his distaste for the Hunters and support for Mafty, yet he points out the organization is flawed, they're thinking about the day after tomorrow while ignoring that there is going to be a tomorrow. Sure the Feddies have lost almost all their clout since the Laplace Incident and the introduction the Hunters, but Mafty has done nothing to help the average person either, the people they want sent to space without even realizing their own privilege of not having to worry about surviving.

The people of the island nation don't struggle with having enough food or missing the beautiful plant life, they struggle with surviving day to day, sure the reason that's pointed out by the driver is that he's paying of shady people to get his earth permit which is a direct fault of the Federation, but if Mafty wins there will be no staying on earth, so who's he better of with.

And here's the core reason why Mafty is so flawed, while most revolutions are worried about the tomorrow and how the actual revolution is going to look while ignoring what's going to happen after, Mafty is too worried about what's going to happen in the future while completely forgetting about the "tomorrow" the day that more people will be deported by the Hunters, the day when someone won't be able to pay for necessities because Mafty sent them off into space, and the fact that people are just too busy trying to survive to even have the time to notice the bigger picture that's so important to Hathaway.

This shatters Hathaway's world view, he almost forgets for a time that he's supposed to be undercover, this is the reality check he needs but even so, there is nothing he can do, the Federation is still evil and someone has to stop them, and the earth is still too polluted, and so on he goes, onto a one way crusade that no one has time to ask for.

Aside from just the analysis of Mafty as a organization, this scene also features some amazing visuals, from the ad playing on the monitor promoting leaving the earth sphere, to the change in the background to a blank concrete tunnel whenever Hathaway points out the fact that the earth is ruined that then gets lit up with the suns rays as the driver counters his point.

This scene is amazing and although I love everything about this movie, this one is my favorite.

I got way too busy today and don't have time to finish the Zoltan post so tomorrow is going to be a triple feature with that one, the post about Michele and Rita and a smaller ramble post, the day after that will be Mineva, Banagher and the meta analysis of Gundam Narrative and the Scene analysis of Hathaway's bedroom monologue.

(image source is the lineart for the movie Gundam Hathaway)

[alovelyburn]

WIP! WIP! WIP!

Usually when these festivals come around I try to get something together and contribute to the cause. This time I was unable to finish... because I found out about it rather late, and also had a lot going on in my real life.

But I did start something. So I'm dropping the first part of the WIP on you guys; no idea if it really qualifies for inclusion in @griffgutsweekend but I'm cool either way.

All the thanks to @zombiesgohome for basically being my cowriter on the beginning of this - she's my Guts expert. Also bear in mind this is a first draft, ok, be kind.

Quick Background: many many years ago, by which I mean in like 2014, someone told me they'd like to see me try to tackle a romance between current canon Guts and Griffith. It took a while but here we are.

It's called Thirst Drove Me to the Water.

1.

The room has already been thoroughly trashed by the time Griffith opens the door. Before him like broken furniture and upturned chairs. All the vases have been  emptied of their white flowers – their water soaked through the plush rug and dripping down white marble walls. An overturned table has been split in two, and gashes mar the walls where that oversized sword bit through the marble.

It’s unsurprising and yet somehow disappointing. Still, Griffith’s expression remains, as always, stubbornly impartial. Around him, the room ripples and shifts – an invisible wave that runs over the room and leaves all as it was, before. Immaculate. Untouched.

His guest seems less than impressed by this.

Guts stares at Griffith from his place on the floor, his one eye smoldering with black fire, his famous sword resting across his knees.

“You sure took your sweet time showing your face,” he says. There’s a sharp edge to his tone, and a growl deep in his throat. “Finally remembered I was here?” He looks like a caged animal. It’s appropriate.

Griffith tips his head just slightly. “I didn’t forget,” he says, “You’ve been pounding against my barriers all day. I thought I would give you a moment to collect yourself.” Griffith glances over the room to where a small table stands, off to the side, away from the center of the now corrected chaos. He’d had a basket of fruit and bread brought to Guts’ rooms as soon as Guts himself was sent there, unconscious, and still bleeding. Griffith hadn’t tended the wounds himself. He wouldn’t have trusted himself to. He looks at Guts. “Have you eaten?” It’s a question of propriety. From here, he can see the half-eaten bread and apple cores.

“What the hell do you care?” Guts snaps. Despite his words, Griffith catches sight of Guts’ gaze as it moves to the table.

Griffith untips his head. “Hm.” He moves to the table quietly, his fingers dragging over the polished wood, the white lace cloth that protects it.

Typically, when one stays silent during an exchange long enough, the other person eventually feels the need to fill that gap. Guts is a man of few words, yes, but unless he’s changed considerably more than he seems to have done, he is also a man without much impulse control. Griffith, being far more curious about what Guts might say than interested in talking, himself, remains silent.

A moment later, Guts pulls himself to his feet. His sword plants itself in the carpeting and the floor beneath it as easily as it would plant itself into soft ground and grass. The sound of steel splitting marble rumbles, swallowed by the thickness of the carpet. “So, what is this?” he asks. His expression hardened as his gaze. “Some kind of game? Is being King too boring for you? If you’re gonna kill me just do it.”

“Impatient as always,” Griffith says.  It occurs to him that Guts is still in his armor. “And always so demanding for a mad dog.”

“You got some nerve calling me mad.” Guts’ muscles clench. Griffith can see every emotion running over his face, settling in his neck – the tension in his shoulders, the clenching of his jaw. “I ain’t the one who—”

“You can list my sins until morning and I won’t be any more enlightened than I am now.” Griffith’s voice cuts the air – sharp and soft as it is. “You invaded my home and tried to kill me, yet I have been nothing but cordial.” With some minor exceptions. Even now, he can remember the rush of battle, Guts’ steel against his. He had played along, but in the end only one outcome could have come about... and it did.

“Now that we’re here,” Griffith says softly. “Feel free to swing your sword as much as you like. It will do you no more good than it did the last time... or the time before that.”

The weight of that massive sword hits the ground with a crash that jolts the floor... and just that quickly, Guts is rushing at Griffith, his armored fist swinging. Griffith stands motionless for a moment, watching the light catch on the edges of that so-sharp black armor. Watching the barely burning fire in Guts’ eye turn to an inferno. And then, just when Guts is there – only a few short feet away, Griffith reaches up and grabs that fist in the bare palm of his hand... and holds it.

They are close – close enough for Griffith to feel the feather-light stirring of Guts’ breath. That one eye widens in—fear? Panic? It isn’t rage, not this time. There’s something savage inside Griffith that smiles at that reaction. His fingers curl down, and he feels the metal creak, just at the edge of bending, or snapping. One never knows with cursed items.

It's enough to make his point, at least, in that second before he lets go.

“You really never change,” Griffith says, voice quiet but not quite soft. “I would have thought you’d learn to control yourself between the Hill and today.” He flexes his fingers. “You should have tried a slap.”

Guts snaps his armored fist back, pressed to his chest. “What the hell is this? If you ain’t gonna kill me, if you won’t fight... what is this, just some kind of cage? I’m just your prisoner, now?”

“If I release, you’ll just keep coming after me.” Griffith runs his tongue along the inside of his lips. He can almost taste the bitterness on his tongue. “So, yes, I suppose you are.” He looks away from Guts, toward the floor length windows. From here, inside  an obscure corner of one of the palace’s towers, Outside, he can see Falconia spread out before them like a painting – the view from the sky. “Well,” he says, “If you say you will leave here and move on with your life – give up your vendetta and leave me be – then perhaps I will let you go.”

“Like hell I will.” The answer comes too quickly. Griffith almost laughs; Guts says, “You know damn well I won’t.”

He does know. Or, rather, he suspected.

“That being the case,” Griffith says. “Here we are.”

“Yeah, here we are.” Guts raises his head, his back straightening to his full height. It must be terribly intimidating to anyone who isn’t Griffith. “So now what? You can’t just shove me in a box and come by when you wanna be smug for a while.”

“That’s a presumptuous accusation. I don’t recall saying I would be coming back.”

Griffith hears his own voice – hard as marble and just as cold. Guts hasn’t moved. His hand remains pressed to his chest, and outside, the sun is growing crimson with the coming night. Griffith watches the red light dye the white buildings; somehow his gaze refuses to land on the man in front of him, no matter how close he stands. And he’s never had a difficult time finding things to say – it was only ever a matter of whether he had anything that needed saying. Now, nothing that comes to mind will make its way past his lips.

Best to leave. Griffith sighs. “I don't suppose there's much purpose to my staying here any longer. I thought I should explain the situation. But I'll have servants set aside to attend to your needs. There's no need to disturb your... equilibrium any farther.”

“You send your servants in here, you ain’t getting them back.”

Griffith glances at Guts. Lines of tension run up his neck.

“Would you kill them for bringing you breakfast? Not all of them are demons.”

“Fine by me. I don't just kill demons.” Guts shrugs his heavy shoulders... but the casualty of it is affected.

Guts’ face is just as tense, just as angry. ...it’s frightened, too... though it isn’t immediately clear what it is he’s frightened of. Griffith himself, perhaps? That would make sense... though it seems somewhat incongruent with Guts’ personality to show it in this kind of situation.  

No. It’s something else.

Griffith is quiet for a time, assessing Guts’ body language, the way his eye burns. Anger, frustration and fear. If he thinks about it, it shouldn’t be surprising. After all, who knows abandonment and imprisonment better than Griffith?

 “I see,” He says. “I wouldn’t have thought you would want me to come back.”

Something flashes in Guts’ eye – surprise, yes, and then a wall of stone to block out Griffith’s sight... or maybe Guts’ perception of himself. For a moment, Guts is just. Silent. Motionless. He opens his mouth... even so, it takes a moment for him to find his voice.

“I didn’t say—” Three words, and then his voice fails quiet again.

Griffith looks to the table not so far away – the apple core and half-eaten bread.

“Very well,” he says, quietly. “I'll bring you your meals personally. At least for now.” He takes a deep breath and turns toward the door. It’s only a few steps off; he takes hold of the latch – silver and engraved with feathery markings, like most things in Falconia.

“Heh.” It isn’t an actual laugh. Feet away, Guts’ weight shifts. Griffith can hear the clanging metal; it shifts, but doesn’t approach. “Never thought this was gonna end with a damn God Hand offering to bring me dinner.”

“We are not one body, Guts.” Griffith looks at his hand – long fingers wrapped around the silver latch while the metal warms. “Each of us has our own goals, our own priorities, and our own experiences. I am what I am... but I am still Griffith.”

The armor shifts behind him again, and it’s so quiet. Griffith doesn’t look back. “Whatever has become of what we were... you were once the most important thing in this world, to me.” It’s surprisingly easy to say. Perhaps because it’s no longer true. “I will honor that.”

And then, without waiting for a response, he opens the door and steps into the hallway beyond.

* * *

Guts stares at the door long past its closing, his heart pounding violently in his chest. In that moment, hot rage and cold sorrow rushing through him, he doesn’t know whether to scream or cry.

[thefairywithboots]

A Little Deal

Smut prompts #29 "First one to cum loses" and #43 "But there's people-" "I don't care. Let them watch."

Summary: This contains a oneshot of Robert Plant and an unnamed OC. Robert attempts to finger her underneath the table while at dinner with the rest of the band, which she abruptly excuses herself to use the bathroom. He follows her there to finish what he started.

I had late 1960s baby lion Robert in mind but you can imagine whichever era you want.

Rating: Explicit 18+ (minors please dni)

Warnings: Semi public sex, light degradation kink

I tag @bijouxcarys, @jimmysdragonsuit13, @shades-of-tiefes-purpur, @ourshadowstallerthanoursoul Let me know if you want to be added to the tagging list for future fics.

Robert was holding her hand as they sat in the restaurant together with the rest of the band. It was a rare treat for them to all be eating out like this together since they usually had takeout or ordered room service to avoid being swarmed by papparazzi. She squeezed his hand, eating her salad as she heard Jimmy and Peter drone on about something in the background.

Robert's other hand wandered down past her thigh, causing her to look up at him. He looked ahead innocently, pretending to listen to what Jimmy and Peter were arguing about. She nearly dropped her fork when his hand reached her core. Robert shot her a warning glance. His innocent looks were deceiving. She knew that he would be merciless with her if she made a scene in front of his band mates and manager.

His skilled fingers gently massaged her bud through the thin fabric of her knickers. She kept her gaze intently on her salad, refusing to make eye contact with him or with anyone else at the table. She tried to keep her facial expression blank, but her clit flamed and throbbed as Robert rubbed circles on it.

She cleared her throat as quietly as she could before leaning in and murmuring just loud enough for him to hear: "Robert... there's people -"

"I don't care." he murmured back, his mouth so close to her ear, he could kiss it. She could hear the tone of lust in his voice like she had heard many times before when he was trying to coax her into his bed - and succeeded every time. "Let them watch."

She kept her gaze on her salad, occasionally shifting her gaze to the deep red wine in her glass, which she imagined was the same color as the passion she felt for the man sitting beside her. Every nerve in her body screamed for release as Robert's fingers manipulated her pulsing bud through her now soaked knickers, as she fought to keep her hips from grinding into his hand. She could feel him smirk without even having to look at him.

He had never done this to her in public before. He had touched her, kissed and worshipped every part of her body in the privacy of their home and in their hotel room while on tour. But he had never taken her with his bandmates just a few feet away. And certainly not at the dinner table.

She kept up the charade of keeping a straight face, occasionally taking a small bite of her salad or a small sip of her wine, with only a minimal bit of shaking in her hands. Robert's hands were so skilled, she could get used to feeling them in settings like this -

His fingers suddenly slipped inside her knickers, a Cheshire-like grin spreading across his gorgeous face when he found her so hot and wet down below.

She couldn't take it anymore. She knew that if she let him put his fingers in her, she would not be able to stop herself from writhing and moaning. Hell, she'd probably mount him right there at the dinner table in front of everyone, that's how little she trusted herself.

She cleared her throat, standing up so abruptly, she nearly knocked the table over. Jimmy and Peter's conversation stopped as everyone turned to look at her. She could feel her face burning and her clit throbbing - she could feel it physically pulsing through her skirt. Peter had an annoyed look on his face as he waited for her to explain why she felt the need to interrupt their conversation. Bonzo looked too drunk to care, and Jimmy’s current female companion was looking at her with narrowed eyes and a sly smirk on her face. Her face burned even brighter as she realized that she probably knew what was going on underneath the table. Jonesy seemed to know too, but he didn't look as amused. He simply rolled his eyes and looked away.

She glanced at Robert to see him nonchalantly sipping his wine.

She cleared her throat again. "Erm... Where's the lady's room?" she asked as politely as she could.

Jimmy pointed vaguely behind his shoulder before returning to his conversation with Peter. She left the table as quickly as she could, not daring to look behind her to see if Robert had gotten up to follow her, though she knew that he most likely would.

She locked herself in one of the stalls, cleaning herself as much as she could. Her knickers were soaked, and a shock of cold air hit her heat as she pulled them down to her knees. She slipped them off, sticking them into her purse. She knew this was a risky idea. Walking around in public with no underwear ; Yes, I'm sure Robert would love that. She rolled her eyes at herself.

Two minutes passed before she heard the bathroom door open, the lock sliding into place as it was closed behind whoever came in. She knew it was Robert without him having to speak. She'd hear him coming from a mile away. Her stomach turned somersaults as she imagined what he was going to do to her. Was he angry at her for not letting him finger her at the dinner table?

She flushed the toilet, and pulled her skirt down as far as it would go before exiting the bathroom stall. Robert was standing in front of the mirrors, his hands in his hips as he turned to glare at her. It wasn't an angry glare; no, this was full of pure lust. She could see his prominent erection outlined by his tight trousers. With his hungry glare, and his blond curls a wild mess atop his head, he looked just like a lion about to pounce on its prey.

"That wasn't a very wise choice back there, Y/N," he told her while stalking up to her. She instinctively backed away from him but he was too fast, and too strong for her. He grabbed her by her hips and propped her on top of one of the counters beside the sinks. He pulled her into a heated kiss, and her resolve crumbled as she kissed him back passionately. He snogged her, the lust and desperation felt in every kiss. He reached down underneath her skirt, and his Cheshire-like grin came back when he saw that her knickers were gone.

She bit her lip, but failed to hold back a whine. She wanted his cock inside her so badly right now. But she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing her beg for it.

"You owe me for this one," she murmured as she pressed languid kisses down his neck.

"Do I?" He pressed firmly onto her clit, causing her to grip the edge of the counter so tight, her knuckles turned white. He chuckled. "Hmm... perhaps you're right. Tell you what: let's make a little deal. First one to cum loses. Whoever loses, has to do whatever the winner wants in the bedroom back at the hotel." His smug smirk came closer to her ear. "Sound fair?"

Her legs were already trembling. If he wanted her to cum, he would find a way to make her do it, one way or another. He always did. He could hold it in all night. It was hardly fair at all, but she wasn't going to let him know that. So she instead nodded.

Robert unbuttoned his trousers, pulling his hard cock out his boxers as she bit her lip, taking in the size of it. He smirked when he saw her expression. She spread her legs for him, and he guided his member towards her soaked slit. She was already so wet and aroused, he slid into her easily. His beautiful face contorted with pleasure as he sank into the place he loved to be in the most. She placed her hands onto his shoulders and wound them through his hair, pulling him closer as she adjusted to his size.

They needed to make this quick. Someone could try to come in at any minute.

Their hips grinded and bucked against one another, causing pleasure to ricochet through her like a pinball as his cock started off with shallow thrusts before eventually thrusting in deeper, penetrating her to the hilt. They tried to suppress their moans; they were in a five star restaurant after all, not a bar bathroom. But the sexual tension between them was so high, neither of them could hold back their huffs and groans. Robert affirmed her by telling her how good she felt around his cock, and how much he loved her, but also degraded her by grunting words like "slut!" and "whore!" in between thrusts. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she pulled tightly on his hair.

The sounds of their greedy pants and low groans of pleasure filled the bathroom as the sound of the their skin slapping together became louder as he moved faster inside her. She bucked her hips to meet his thrusts, groaning as he bit hard on her neck. She cursed him mentally, knowing there was no way the others were not going to notice the mark back at the table.

She let out a strangled cry as he reached down to play with her clit. Pleasure contorted her mind as her vision clouded. But she held back her release for as long as she could. She had to make him cum first. She had to win, even if it was just this once.

"Cum. Now." It was a command.

She shook her head quickly, which caused him to thrust faster and rub her clit more vigorously. She writhed and thrashed against him, pleasure causing her to shake so violently, she could have been spasming. But she held back her release, moving her hips and squeezing his cock between her walls. He groaned, but didn't let up on his ministrations.

She felt pleasure course through her like a drug. He whispered seductively in her ear, promising to treat her so good if she just gave in to him. His voice was like a cloud, both while singing and while speaking. Just it alone would cause her to come undone. The promise of sweet release beckoned her, filled her with a happiness she could not describe.

"God, Robert, that feels so good..."

"I know, darling. Just cum for me. Cum for me like I know you want to..." he coaxed gently.

She buried her head in the crook of his neck as he cradled her like a child. She moved her hips, getting more and more desperate for release. But in a sudden act of defiance, she reached down between their joined bodies, and took his tight balls in her hand, massaging them firmly. His eyes widened with the sudden realization of what she had done, but the pleasure was so intense, he didn't even think to fight it. His thrusts became quicker, more urgent. His breathing came in short gasps and she didn't even try to hold back her moans now.

"Ah!" she cried out. "F-fucking cum in me!"

He didn't need to be told twice. He exploded, spilling his love deep inside her. She came shortly after, giving in to the sweet feeling of release only after he had done it first. Only after she had won. A triumphant smile spread across her face as their hips gyrated slowly as they rode out the final waves of their orgasms. She threw her head back, partly in ecstasy, partly in victory. Robert took this as an invitation to kiss her neck, attacking it with even more love bites.

No one had tried to come into the bathroom. They had to have been in there only a matter of minutes, though it felt more like hours. They both panted heavily as their breathing became more steady. She smiled up at him with a sense of mischief.

"I won."

He let out a breathy laugh, pulling out of her, their combined juices coating his cock. "I guess you did." He wet a paper towel before cleaning himself and then her. He tucked himself back into his trousers before buttoning them back up. "I'll keep my end of the bargain, as promised. I'll do whatever you want back at the hotel."

She smirked while looking him up and down, trying to imagine what he may look like tied down to the bed.

He leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. "I know that look. Come on, let's get back to the table before they start to suspect where we ran off to. Oh," he added, his hand pausing over the the lock on the bathroom door. "You should probably put your knickers back on. Or else we'll end up in this situation again. Not that I'm complaining. But I don't think Peter would appreciate us behaving like a couple of horny teenagers."

She took her knickers out of her purse. They were still damp but not too uncomfortable to wear. She slipped them on, following her lover outside back to the table, the others seemingly oblivious to what had just occurred between them.

[frogwiththephatahh]

I don't like Murder Drones...but I can't stop watching it

Okay, OBJECTIVELY...Murder Drones is bad. Like on a fundamental level. It's lore is too complicated and doesn't get explained well in the show itself, the characters are bland and most of them are unlikable, the voice direction can be a hit or miss, and overall it's written very poorly.

If you're just watching the show for the first time, going in completely blind, it is impossible to understand. Because the show wants to "show, don't tell" and honestly THAT'S GOOD! The issue is...this lore is too complicated to NOT tell. Hiding extremely important details in dimly lit backgrounds was a poor choice. I would be forgiving if lighting or camera direction brought attention to certain details, but the entire show is usually pretty dark and there's nothing eye catching about them that makes it clear "this element is important and I should look at it." The first time I watched Murder Drones all the way through, I then had to go watch like two hours of theory and explanation videos made by people who either 1. stay caught up on outside sources (interviews, forums, team social media, etc.) or 2. went through the entire series and meticulously analyzed every background to get the full story.

Don't get me wrong, it is perfectly acceptable to hide secrets and details in your backgrounds and environments. But not key information necessary for understanding the core elements of the show.

Also, a lot of important context is left out of episodes. I was so confused when I finished episode two, came back to episode three, and Uzi had superpowers. Important decisions and conversations characters have are done off screen. I understand this is probably because of budget and time constraints, but I also understand that Glitch gives their creators a LOT of creative freedoms to tell the story they need to tell in the amount of time they need to tell it. And Murder Drones is a series that definitely needed the wiggle room to explore its own ideas.

Now, the thing that REALLY made me almost turn this show off entirely...the characters. The writing of the characters is bad. Like...infuriatingly bad. This is because the show wants to "tell, don't show" with their characters. Which you should never do. ESPECIALLY with your main characters.

I do not need to be told three times an episode that Uzi is an "angsty teen." I got that when in her very first scene she brings a gun to her school. I do not need to be told how cute and nice N is. I got that when he mistakes Uzi for another disassembly drone and immediately starts acting chipper around her. I probably would have enjoyed Uzi's character a lot more if the show wasn't insistent on making her only notable trait "troubled kid."

And yes, I understand that Uzi refers to herself as an angsty teen because it's how she wants to be perceived. It is still very annoying. And she is not the only character that essentially walks up to the camera, says "hello, this is my name, and this is my character trait," and then walks away.

And all the characters who aren't Uzi or N fall into three catagories: Mean, Stupid, or Forgettable. And a lot of them are in more than one! You could not pay me to care about J, Uzi's dad, or really any of the other robots in the colony. And the show doesn't care about them!

Episode 4: Cabin Fever is the worst instance of this. (Vague Spoilers ahead) A vast majority of Uzi's classmates are killed off in this episode. In pretty gruesome ways. BY UZI. And the show passes it off as a lighthearted compilation of Monster!Uzi showing off her powers. Now, I know these are nothing characters. Most of them don't even have names. But they are still Uzi's CLASSMATES. People she grew up with. And yeah, she didn't get along with them, but we saw before this episode that, despite how much she claims not to, Uzi cares for others. She has a sense of morality. It's out of character and honestly pretty jarring to see her...not give a shit about murdering her own classmates.

It's a strange trait to give a character whose main goal is stopping the end of the world, is what I'm trying to say.

Clearly, I have a lot of problems with this show. Problems I don't have time to name here, or problems I just forgot about because there are so many of them.

So why do I love this show??

It has a saving grace. I can forgive the bad writing, the shitty characters, the nonsensical lore...because the art direction is just that good.

This show is gorgeous. It has amazing backgrounds and sets, appealing character designs, camera direction that's so good it should be in a cinema...it's a nice show to look at.

Despite having mostly the same base builds, every character (except V and J but that just might be me idk I can never tell them apart) looks entirely different and can be picked easily out of a crowd. The monster designs ESPECIALLY are what kept me coming back over and over again.

Despite everything I've just said, I do think Liam Vickers is extremely talented when it comes to animation and art. He was a storyboard artist before becoming a show runner for Glitch and Murder Drones SHOWS THAT. There were shots in MD that literally took my breath away. His character designs are also amazing. I especially loved the elements he brought over from Cliffside and gave to Cyn/Absolute Solver.

Having robot characters with LED screens for eyes that they can use to emote or even write messages for one another is genius. Having the main antagonist kill her human master and WEAR HER SKIN is crazy and I love it. Giving the robots a virus that can pass on genetically is also a really cool concept for humanized androids.

Although scenes are often darkly lit, because the characters have parts on them that literally glow, it's easier to pick them out.

The action scenes are phenominal as well, and have so much thought put into them. Characters like Uzi, Cyn, and uhhh the russian one I don't remember her name oh god being able to pick up and throw objects in their environment makes for really interesting and creative fight scenes. The anatomy of the disassembly drones also seem purposefully tailored for fight scenes. With hands that can shift into weapons, tails with poisoned barbs on the end, and huge, sharp wings, the murder drones have a LOT of different tactics they can use in a fight.

In conclusions: Murder Drones can best be enjoyed by turning your brain off and watching the pretty colors. And somehow it works.

[its-a-branwen-thing]

Just the Way You Are

This volume of RWBY isn't one that I've felt like writing a ton about. It's existed as a bit of background noise to my weekends, a must watch but in passing. It was a wonderful journey, but not as impactful as I thought it should be to me. It hit all the right marks. Well-written, well-animated, great music. It wasn't until the finale, where I was reminded, again, of why I loved this show in the first place.

I've been seeing an outpouring of love for V9 that seemed to spur a re-examination of it as a series, in both what RWBY means to fans and what Ruby means to the audience. This whole volume she's been a proxy facing the show's vocally decried imperfections: for what the could have beens and should have beens keep saying. In Ruby's own personal doubt, we see the seeds of the show's very own history of grappling with fan expectations, critical analysis, commercial success, and the complicated legacy of the tragic passing of the show's creator.

But CRWBY's love for this volume is so evident it seemed to drown out any bad faith arguments: this is RWBY as it was always meant to be.

In finishing this volume, I see once more that fiction can help us suture the parts of us that seep. That its creators are people we may never know but whose ideas we stitch into the membranes of our core. RWBY doesn't have to be a masterpiece emerging fully formed from the minds of its writers and animators. It is a vision expanded upon, a messy beginning built up, a work of surfeit love, flawed and lovely in the mess.

As a perfectionist I tend to chase that critical clout, to draw from external sources the meaning of my own art, to wonder if the interpretations are good enough, if the writing and characters are done with enough mastery that I can succeed in other's eyes. But RWBY will never be a success to some, and in that we see that even the most collectively beloved things are criticized by their detractors. We will never create a bulletproof thing.

Life is exposure. Love is vulnerability and art in service to that love - of self, of others, of vision - exacts the same toll of knowing. Even against the diatribes on Youtube that have stated otherwise, RWBY's heart is worn on its sleeve. It is a show fully sure of its sincerity. This volume seems meant to present that to us and to Ruby, as a character. She has always been the heart of the show. Pursuant of hope in the face of insurmountable odds, always picking up the pieces of others, always with the weight of the world on her shoulders. But, at her core, she has always been a simple, more honest soul.

RWBY and Ruby have faced failure after perceived failure. Ruby always tried hard but never quite got it and now, in the sea of her doubt and the under the current of others' expectations, she sees herself as less than. As incapable of serving the people she loves most. Ruby's fear of failure does not come from her need to be beloved, it doesn't come from a selfish interest in public opinion, but rather from a stalwart need to do what she believes in.

RWBY has long been the scruffy underdog of the animation world, an easy little show to poke fun at. This isn't to say that critiquing is inherently bad faith, or that there's no place for it. There is, and there always will be things that irk or bother us to some degree with every piece of media we consume. But, much like the people we love in our lives, those imperfections are part of them, and we can either take them as is and have faith enough that they'll grow just as we do, that their center is good and worth it, or we can simply let them go.

Choose for yourself one who can leave your burdens behind, or chose one who can be enough to bare them.

There's something to be said about the moral simplicity of a show like RWBY, in which things don't always work out, but in which the characters have enough faith in themselves, and the world, to still seek to save it. This is a fairytale, but it is one that hopes to impart on reality a little bit of that kindness.

It is wholly intentional that RWBY is thus stylized as a children's fairytale. It lacks the tonal shift of grit and anger that adulthood seems to impart on innocence, and posits that: no, you don't need to be anything else, even if others decry that self as naive or emotional or exposed. There is a beauty to RWBY's vulnerability and it's always been there, baked into the show itself.

V9 feels like a love letter to RWBY as a whole. It has always been a show set on positivity, on pursing that goodness at all costs. RWBY does not partake in the labor of being something else more gritty or mature or indifferent. It is what it's always been.

A simple, more honest show.

[vatrpg]

Turns out staying up past my usual sleep time while watching a Don Quixote movie marathon with your friends while on a shitty laptop in the closest thing your parents have to an attic is a fairly good background to game dev work.

Finally am getting around to updating and hopefully finishing NPC creation. The updated system is going pretty well so far, as the biggest concern (balancing) is being thrown out the window in favor of a different design philosophy. Combat doesn’t need to be balanced, as fighting isn’t the only way to resolve it. You got diplomacy, trickery, and just running away.

Still’ll be slow going, but character archetypes and origins are done so I’m taking a step back from player character creation for now. Careers are all that’s left there, anyways. About halfway done with character creation if you go by sheer mass of writing.

Around 80 pages on the player-facing basic mechanics book thus far, which surprised me when I checked it. The actual CORE GAME elements are almost complete! Still have some tidbits to add that aren’t strictly mechanical, and I still have to continue writing the Handler-facing mechanics book + the lore book, but it’s fewer pages than I expected at this point in time. I’m pretty happy with that! Means it’s potentially less daunting for newbies!

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #30 | 04.27.23

Hi everyone!

We are back with a monthly update! If you all remember, last month I was feeling a bit burnt out, and I'm super happy to say I'm feeling a lot more like myself this month <3 Thank you to everyone who sent me a lil message/comment, I always appreciate them sm. I won't bore you with my gushing, but I am forever grateful for you all! With that, I'll get into the updates ^^

But first, it was someone's birthday this month! happy bday, hoe.

Writing

I have some exciting news! Kayn's route has officially entered the line editing phase, which is the FINAL stage of editing \o/ This will be the first route completed for Alaris, wow!!! Fenir's route is still going through developmental editing, but the changes are already super cute and he is giving ultimate grumpy baby energy, which we love to see.

I'm still chipping away at Druk's route. Honestly, I'm Very Sad I haven't made as much progress with him as I would've liked, but a lot of my time was dedicated to the enhanced demo this month, and between revamping the demo script, coding, voice acting, and edits for Kayn/Fenir's full routes, I just didn't have the time. I'm hoping this month, I'll finally Actually be able to get his first draft done <3

Art

We officially finished all Demo Backgrounds this month (wow!!). Having started revamping the demo BGs all the way back in, like, November, it's crazy that this first milestone has been reached! Now, it's only full game BGs left. I received the new Dusk Court BG recently, and she's stunning, so I'm excited for the more "core plot" BGs to start coming out :')

In honor of the enhanced demo coming out, I updated the sprite art for the LIs! I'll be getting to the side characters this next month, but I'm really happy with the new art. The differences maybe kinda small for some of them, but I think they look a lot cleaner, and I think the auras especially are pretty <;3 we also whoreified kuna'a

updated sprite preview for kayn, aisa, kuna'a, and etza

The full GUI was also finished this month. I just have to code them in, but it looks SO delicate and pretty and sharp. I'm so thankful to Alice for doing the most outstanding job with them---she is so talented!!

Sneaky peek of screens uwu

Additional Notes

I complained about it 29348 times, but I Finished the Voice Acting Coding this month uwu. That is probably the biggest accomplishment considering how much work it was reviewing all the lines, cutting them, and coding them into the game. I'm terrified for the full routes.

I selected the playtesters for the game so far. Thank you to everyone who applied! I wasn't able to reach out to everyone who applied, and I didn't want to have so so many playtesters, since filtering through everyone's feedback would be overwhelming. But there may come a time when I need more playtesters in the future, so please feel free to keep my little game in mind <3

It's been a bit since I mentioned my Patreon, mostly because I feel bad asking people for money and promoting a platform where people have to pay for content LOL. But it is there, and I do post to it! The reason I bring it up in this devlog is because the highest tier ($10) gets access to playtesting and the second tier ($5) gets early access to finished builds. With the enhanced demo slowly getting finished, I will be doing playtesting for the new beta build this upcoming month in May. SO if you want playtesting/early access to the enhanced demo, please feel free to check out my Patreon* ^^

*Note: If you’re interested in becoming a patron for the early testing/ playtesting, don't become a patron until May starts otherwise you will get charged for both this month and May ((unless you want to give me money for both months in which case u have my eternal love uwu))

Market Research

Lastly, I did a tiny bit of market research this month! I played Bustafellows after my dear friend Seyl (check out her and her team's game Lost in Limbo!!) recommended it to me.

Shu: why is his glove so slutty

And of course the game everyone has been talking about, I played the demo for Touchstarved.

Ais: my favorite, and it's not even close

Looking at these two, and I think I have a thing for smokers lmao. Anyways, I think that's enough from me, so that is all for this month's update! Stay safe, and see you all next month <3

[not-terezi-pyrope]

FIPTION: There Is A Crack In The World (Review)

So, I finally finished "There Is A Crack In The World", the largest part of my fiction reading trade with @fipindustries. It's taken me a while, and I haven't spoken about it much here as I read, sending my in the moment thoughts to Fip directly, instead. Part of the reason I didn't finish it sooner was because I am abroad, and I've been distracted by not being in my own home, hanging out with my boyfriend, actually hanging out with Fip in person, but regardless; I am done now and here are my thoughts.

Crack in the World is a really interesting book for a lot of reasons. There are a bunch of things I didn't like about it, and a bunch of things I really did like about it, and it's fascinating for me how those things intersect. I'll start with my biggest criticisms; the writing itself is very one-and-done, unedited prose, which, combined with this being a novel written in a second language, results in text that feels fairly sloppy in parts, spattered with spelling and syntactic errors, odd sentence phrasing that needs a second eye making adjustments. There are some moments where I can feel the author had a clear picture in her head, but where the details didn't come out as clearly as might have been liked to the reader. These issues would be the biggest barrier to this getting published properly one day, but it's also arguably the most straightforward to fix; the book just needs a thorough editing pass, either by Fip or another editor. The intent is clear enough that I think someone could fix up these issues without any author input, and indeed I found myself doing so in my head as I read. The core meaning is solid, and so when thinking about the book I am going to largely ignore the typographical stuff, the narrative now feels fairly accurately transcribed into my head where I can prod at it as a consolidated story, and it is that story that I'll be reviewing.

The important context for CitW is that it was written when the author was, per her description, dealing with having been in a pretty bad place, and so the tone that the novel seeks to strike is a pretty grimdark one. According to the aftermath post linked at the end, parts of it were an exercise at writing "unrepentant misery porn". Maybe I am desensitised to dark fiction, but a lot of the book didn't really come off that way to me, but in a way that's almost to Fip's credit; even when she's trying to write a dark and miserable story, Fip's delight in writing about whacky characters playing out dynamic adventure narratives comes through in many places, and so the book's dystopic setting feels more Mad Max than 1984. The setting is dark and grim, but it's a cartoonish kind of grim that is, to be frank, mostly just sort of fun. There's a teenage edginess to a lot of it, which Fip has talked about being an accurate description of the mindset for some scenes. The times when that edginess doesn't work are, ironically, when the book really tries to be dark but in a way that pushes into being too crass to be endearing. There's a lot of blood and gore, which I appreciate, but then there are anal rape and shit jokes, which I do not, it feels a little bit too immature and too aspirationally edgy. I think some of that is regretted in retrospect. It doesn't detract too much from the overall feel, though.

The plot is also surprisingly straightforward, not as labyrinthine as I had expected at its core, a fairly conventional dual-protagonist adventure arc culminating in crossed paths (with several side-vignettes, as I discuss later). The ending is dark and follows up on the themes of hopelessness the most effectively of anything in the novel. After the entire book, I think that the background thematic radiation has built up enough for it to be earned, by that point. The final chapter and epilogues are a little fast and blunt, but not unworkably so.

There are two big strengths to the book, two things that I really liked. The first is the characters; Fip is primarily a visual/comics artist and you can really tell, even via writing alone, that she really likes coming up with cool characters with their own specific emotional vibe, and setting them off to interact with each other. These are guys who all feel like they should come with their own splash screen, tag line and iconic halloween costume. There's something almost superhero comic strip about the iconic identities of the characters, about their specific skills and motivations, true even for those that don't actually have their own "superpowers". But don't get me wrong, there's plenty of superhuman individuals on display, here; we have impossibly tenacious gun-wielding assassins, murderous, practically invulnerable clown girls, jungle mercenaries using anti-air rifles as a personal pogo stick, Russian mobster types, a literal dark lord... It's very whacky and fun when you get down to it, which is what really tempers the intended grimdark tone. You might fear that there's some dissonance there but it merges into something unique and interesting. That said, perhaps a more tightly edited version could change some passages with that in mind.

The second thing I really liked was that the story is used as a sort of... Stage setting for a bunch of smaller, more contained narratives, almost smaller parables (sometimes literal parables) that slot into the story. These are clearly separate ideas that were floating around in the author's head, and a lot of them are more tightly written than parts of the main narrative, more fully formed from the start. The two interlude chapters are the clear standouts in the whole work, and both are examples of writing in the style of these little vignettes. I do almost wish that the rest of the story was more integrated to match, there is a risk a few times of the non-sequitur insertions coming across as a little piecemeal, but this becomes less of an issue near the end - the second interlude is at once its own thing but is deeply connected to the rest of the story, and it makes absolute sense that it comes when it does.

One thing that the vignettes also highlight is the difference between pre-planned narrative trajectory/pacing and the "write on the fly" nature of the rest of the novel. There are some times where, in comparison, the "standard" chapters are at risk of tripping off required plot occurrences by rote without dwelling on them, and it's most notable by contrast. Keeping the little sub-stories in the novel is well with it though, and the pacing issue could be fixed with editing.

Other little things I liked: the bounce back and forth between protagonists in alternating chapters was very fun, and helped keep the pace up. I liked seeing the world from different perspectives, and from characters with very different roles in the world. For that matter, I liked the world itself; the worldbuilding was fun, if a little tropey, and I enjoyed trying to dissect the lore. There were a few things that didn't hold up to scrutiny lore-wise in retrospect, but that's understandable given the serial publishing. On the other hand, there was a lot of cool thematic stuff and character foreshadowing that was clearly planned well in advance and paid off really well. I'm avoiding specifics due to spoilers, but there are a lot of fun surprises in this novel!

So that is There Is A Crack In The World. Not a perfect book by any means, but a lot of fun and vibrant ideas. Fip has been sending me her excellent artwork for the story, which really adds a lot, and that compounds my desire to see this adapted as a sort of pulp graphic novel, given an ideal world. At it is, if there is future development of the story to be had it would be in a thorough editing pass. This is not required, however; the story is a fine artefact as it exists on its own, as rough around the edges as it may be, it tells an interesting and satisfying tale of some very cool characters. It's a shame I didn't get through it faster, but I'm very glad I took the time.

Great job Fip. Next up I read The Milkman (although that may also be slow coming; my preemptive apologies).

[10holmes]

It is done.

Synopsis:

SVSSS meets 2ha/Erha and make it LiuJiu.

An angsty exploration of Shen Jiu's character and the painful ordeal of being known and learning to trust, with a hopeful ending for LiuJiu.

Tags:

Angst with a Happy Ending ; Misunderstandings ; Hurt + Comfort ; Open & Hopeful Ending ; Enemies to Lovers speed run ; Rivals to Lovers ; Shen Jiu just needs a hug

Sneak Peak Snippet:

Unable to mask and swallow down his displeasure and irritation (and sadness), Shěn Qīngqiū now addressed Liǔ Qīnggē with scornful bitterness (…maybe being a little too unfairly pissed off at him, considering Yuè Qīngyuán actually deserved most of his anger… but, as so often, Shěn Qīngqiū just failed to properly reign in his temper…).

“Well, look who’s finally decided to grace us with his presence! Not that I expected you brute to be punctual…” he, thus, sneered at the Bǎi Zhàn peak lord in lieu of a greeting.

The other just scoffed in reply, sending the scholar a hateful glare right back: “I don’t take criticism from one that is still vain enough to waste qi because he’s concerned about his delicate face in the middle of a fight… What a joke…”

Had Shěn Qīngqiū had his fan in hand, he would have probably cracked its spine in quiet rage at the man’s words (and yet again complete misinterpretation of the matter…).

This absolutely moronic condescending prick! What did he even know!!

… nothing of course… and with Shěn Qīngqiū unable to explain himself, without revealing his shameful background, he had to let the slight stand… merely narrowing his eyes and sending the other peak lord the deathliest death glare he could manage, before spitting at him venomously: “What is the point of you being here anyway? I am almost finished, as you can see, so your help is not needed any longer… Why don’t you just go back to your peak again and leave me be? No need to force yourself to stand my vain presence and for me to have to abide your pea brain…”

The brute had the guts to actually laugh humourlessly at that – or more specifically at him: “Trust me, I’d also much rather be anywhere else than here, but the sect leader’s command was clear… And I do actually follow the tasks and missions I’m given instead of using them to slack off somewhere else…”

These next words hit Shěn Qīngqiū as if the brute had taken his Cheng Luan and impaled him with it… and then given the blade another good painful twist for good measure, before ripping it back out again…

The false unjustified accusation made Shěn Qīngqiū swallow bitter bile. He felt the urge to retort something to defend himself now… even though he knew he had only himself to blame for letting the man and his Qī-ge believe that he had truly used the pretence of going on a mission to instead debauch himself in lecherous sexual acts, while people were left to suffer…

(…although he had been meaning to go on said mission right after stabilizing his core… specifically even had chosen a mission that didn’t seem that dire yet and allowed for some breathing room and a low possibility of things growing worrisome, while Shěn Qīngqiū was shortly indisposed…)

Of course, Shěn Qīngqiū ultimately couldn’t say anything in his defence and had to, yet again, merely grit his teeth and take the insult, damning himself further in the eyes of his shidi and fellow peak lord by not disagreeing…

“Get lost.” Was the only barbed reply the, for once witless, scholar finally came up with, before unceremoniously turning away from the Bǎi Zhàn peak lord to, at last, dedicate all his focus to the still very much visible, wide-open dimensional tear… adamantly staring at the bright qi in front of him without blinking… burning away the furious tears that had suddenly stupidly enough started to rise to his eyes unbidden...

[stellaralignment]

game programming infodump

typically code executes linearly, it will run and once it has executed all the code and reached the end it will stop. the way games (and most programs tbh) work is you will trap the code in a while loop in which the program gets stuck in a loop.

in games this loop goes through 2 main steps: Update, and Draw.

the Update step handles any and all logic: player input, npc ai, pretty much any and all logic. the game will go through all the objects in a scene and update them in some way determined by the programmer writing the code, if the player presses the W key to move forward it is in the update loop the player character moves forward. if an enemy is attacking the player, they make the decision to attack them in the update, if there is a timer it will decrease it's time here (in a way, this is a simplification) all this logic gets executed every frame, at whatever frames per second

if you're using a third party game engine like unity or unreal, while the update step is a function you can add to in created scripts, other things like pressing a button or event based functions will still be running in the Update loop in the background, handled by the engine internally

the Draw step is where all the data about the current state of the game, where models, cameras, and lights are passed to the GPU and where the graphics card begins preparing the data to display on the screen using shaders, code that is written specifically for the gpu to use (instead of what is typically thought of as code that gets run on the cpu). there are two main shaders: the vertex shader, and the fragment shader

the vertex shader determines the position of a vertex on the screen, usually this would just be simple math, but for some effects a technical artist/graphic programmer (the ones who typically make the shaders) may mess with the vertex shader to move the verticies of the model without need to get the animator to make it an animation, which would harm the game's performance on the cpu side vs the much faster and more efficient method of using a vertex shader to animate it

the fragment shader determines the colour of the pixel of the screen, this is where visual effects like lighting, a glow effect, or an outline, or alpha control to hide a model, or whatever else that affects the colour will be done.

these shaders are ran on the gpu's cores for each pixel of the screen, so for a 2560x1440 resolution these vertex and fragment shaders will be run 3,686,400 times per frame

and that's how (for the most part) every game runs

That's so cool! I knew a lot about the CPU side, I've started a few hobby projects in Unity (that I never finished and ended up losing eventually, rip), but everything about the GPU side was new to me, and it's cool to have this insight!

Thanks for sharing >w<

[heesulovebot]

8 shows to get to know me

my bae sufa @heart-ming didn’t tag me but let’s just say they did teehee. i literally mostly watched kdramas before i started bls so this list will admittedly be kdrama centric 🫣 in chronological order (i think):

that 70s show: has this show aged well? no. but there are still so many iconic moments that it holds a special place in my heart. twelve year old me would race home after school to watch re-runs. twelve year old me also thought peak romance was eric and donna dancing to abba’s fernando in the drive way in front of the vista cruiser 😭😭 

reply 1988: i never thought reply ‘97 could be topped (esp after the disappointment of ‘94) but reply ‘88 knocked it out of the ball park completely. i loved every single character sm, it rlly felt like home :’) and rip to those who had sls but i’m different 💅🏼 (jk i usually have a chronic case of sls dsjkfnksjd but everything in this drama made sense, esp deok seon and taek). who else was there for soompi forum user @ packmule using colour-theory, dialogue, and frame analysis to guess who the husband was before the show finished airing???? packmule on soompi forums u will always be famous xoxo

my mister: the grip this show had on me should be studied like. i made my first fandom sideblog for this show?????? i wrote my first fanfic for this show??????? dskjfnkdjnsk the scene in which park dong hoon sits in his living room after everything is finished and then bursts out in tears and then the background music cuts off and we just hear him sOBBING in silence...... i will never recover, i fear

2gether: speaking of shows that had a grip on me ksdjfnkdsjnf i gotta be real and add this to the list since y’all who have been following me since this era bore witness to my absolute obsession. i def can objectively say that 2gether is not a good show but tine and watine remain a special place in my heart forever ♡

ofcc & cherry magic: LOL I’M CHEATING AND PUTTING THESE TWO TOGETHER but they’re both about gay salarymen so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk there’s just an underlying sadness to both these fluffy jbls that i fuck with heavy      

i told sunset about you: no matter how much beef i have with p’meen, p’boss has done nothing wrong in his life ever and itsay tehohaew remain my babies. y’all alrdy know itsay had me in tears weekly (i still remember watching ep 4 during class time ((covid college core)) and then my prof started saying something after i finished the ep and i BURST into tears and haven’t recovered since tbh)   

to my star 1&2: god daseul invented cinema and romance, actually. this show (s2 particularly) had me on twitter spaces talking about jiwoo and seojun’s depth and complexity for 8+ hours 💀 i literally could write an entire thesis on it—have probably, if u combine my tumblr tags and tweets 😭😭😭 tms surpassed my 2gether rewatches (which @phukaoapologist & @pranpat can attest that is A LOT), and will always remain that bitch

the glory: every girliepop has a lil’ bit of blood lust in them. sometimes u need a cute lil’ revenge drama on ur list and a man that would tell you that he’d kill for you xo

tagging!: @nonkul @itoldsunset @phukaoapologist @pranpat @earthpirapat @dirhwangdaseul @ohmybitna @jaehwany @junghaesin @fordallan @deshimango @kinnkittisawasd @freensrcha @jiustian i’ll only tag a few since i bet a lot of ppl have alrdy done this but if u want to and i didn’t tag you consider urself tagged ♡