#I have soooo many thoughts. and I will elaborate on none of them

[rivalkieran]

au where nothing changes except blue steals lacktwo from interpol. now she has two (2) little brothers

[kenzieluvsnanami]

kenzieluvsnanami :: a wash day drabble (curlyhaired!reader) ☆ ✧✩₊˚.✧

cw // literally none, just a lot of fluff, reader is a slightly black coded but honestly applies to anyone with curly hair, reader is a a lil dramatic but its ok // wc 1.1k

thinking about wash day with my fave. the day every curly-haired girl dreads, comb getting caught in your dry, brittle hair as you rushed to get ready the day before, a sign that it was that time of the week.

with a reluctant huff, you would pull your sleepy body from the deviously snug sheets - gently lifting your husband's arm from where it had been resting, slung over your small frame to pull your body impossibly closer during the early hours of the morning.

it was now the early afternoon, a sunday of course. the only day the two of you really allowed yourselves to fully relax - no alarms, no plans… just peace.

well, that was until you had decided to leave wash day to the end of the week - your own procrastination desecrating the sanctity of sunday tranquility and replacing it with a slight irritability.

"honey...what are you doing?" his voice a couple octaves deeper from the lack of use; something that was soooo alluring to you, akin to a siren’s call in many ways, and how in that moment you would feel it luring you back into the cosy comfort of your shared bed, his solid arms, hmmmm….

but you couldn’t. because you still had to wash your hair.

you'd spin around and pull your bonnet off; wordlessly revealing your bone-dry hair - usual moist, defined curls being reduced to a ball of frizz.

"i see."

see whilst your husband didn’t have curly hair himself, he had definitely learnt a lot about it from your continual rants about the cost and effort of maintaining it; his thoughtful questions and observations being so endearing to you, his desire to understand further so he could better empathise and even help was something that truly meant a lot and actually brought the two of you closer together.

whilst he thought your hair always looked beautiful, in that moment he could understand that your hair was certainly in need of some…. tender love and care.

and in the mood you were currently in, it wasn’t certain that you were in the right mindset to be as careful as your hair as you would usually want to be.

wiping his eyes one last time, your husband would slip out of bed and amble towards you - hands outstretched as he settled them in your hair, lightly teasing out the larger knots with his fingertips.

"hmmm.. i remember you telling me that when your hair gets like this, you'd have to-" “wash it, yes i do ken” you would huff, feeling like an insolent child at the dire lack of patience you currently had but you couldn’t help it! the mere thought of having to go through all of the elaborate steps of your hair routine completely fatigued you.

without another word, your husband would take the assortment of products you were cradling in your arms and lead you to the bathroom.

"give me a second."

returning with a pillow, he would get you to sit on the bathroom floor; legs crossed on top of the pillow and your head rested on the edge of the bathtub.

"now, would the lady like a clarifying treatment or the usual hydrating shampoo?" he joked, a small smile forming on your face at the sight of your normally quite stoic husband playing pretend with you to stir you from your poor mood.

“…i think i’ll stick with my usual please” your eyes closing in complete bliss and relaxation as your husband turned on the shower head and began to wet your hair, the brittle strands alleviating under the downpour - becoming much more manageable.

skilled fingers would weave themselves into your hair, massaging shampoo deep into your flaky scalp; soft moans occasionally spilling out as he hit tender spots where the knots had been particularly tangled.

as he rinsed out the first wash of shampoo, you'd actually start to laugh; realising how overly melodramatic you were being over washday, forgetting how attentive and caring your husband was.

of course, he wouldn’t leave you to struggle on your own! whilst he may not always fully understand how to help, he was always willing to do anything for those he loved.

and that anything included the gentle drying of your now freshly washed hair, an old t-shirt collecting the excess water nicely as he helped you up back to the vanity in your bedroom.

"what did you want to do to your hair today, my love" he would murmur, pumping your leave-in conditioner into his palms, hands alternating between smoothing and scrunching your hair.

“well, i want to wear my hair out for the next couple days so what i normally do is just a couple of braids to keep my hair from frizzing too much and keep some definition”

you could practically hear your husband's brain processing everything you just said, brows slightly furrowed as he glanced back down at your hair; deciding what tools would be best to help you.

he held up a wide tooth comb in one hand and a denman brush in the other. "these two will be alright then?"

you’d then smile and nod, his hands using the wide tooth comb to first part your hair into 6 neat grids; securing each with small hair clips. then he’d delicately detangle each section from tip to root, applying rosemary oil to the scalp and a dab of gel to the strands before braiding the section.

"is this okay?" he’d question after the first braid, not sure if his braiding skills were as strong as your own.

“it’s perfect baby, thank you”, your words of affirmation easing his uncertainty, movements noticeably more confident as he went around and finished the 5 other braids. the two of you discussing what your plans would be for the rest of the day, deciding on a filling brunch and movie marathon being the most optimum way to spend a sunday.

a light kiss to your forehead would signal the end of nanami's salon services, his eyes filled with admiration as you turned and beamed back up at him; wondering how you were able to get so lucky and end up with someone as special as him.

a/n ✧✩₊˚. had to romanticise wash day otherwise i was literally never going to do it omg my arms ache

[marlynnofmany]

There’s No Aggression Like Passive Aggression

“So is this a food plant, or a decoration plant?” I asked, adjusting my grip on the clear case as I walked. “Or do we know?”

Zhee flicked an antenna. “Not my business.” He faced forward, businesslike, but with bug eyes that size, there was no need to turn his head.

Paint looked up from elbow height. “I think it’s food,” she said, giving the package a discerning stare. The alien flowers were a similar orange to her scales. “I’ve seen these at markets before. They’re expensive.”

“Makes sense,” I said. The private estate that we’d been walking across for some time now was covered in the most rigidly cultivated berry bushes I’d ever seen. Even the pathway was paved in thick moss, pruned to within an inch of its life. The owner of this place had both money and a fondness for plants. Especially edible-looking ones.

A berry dropped to the path ahead of us, then was snapped up by something that darted out of the undergrowth. I couldn’t tell you if it was an animal or a robotic gardener.

“Don’t ask the client,” Zhee said. “Keep that curiosity to yourself. Best behavior and extreme politeness.”

“Right,” I agreed. “Soooo… any tips on what that means for this particular culture? I haven’t met them before.”

Zhee walked stiffly, with only his shiny purple legs moving. “I haven’t either.”

I blinked. “What? I thought you were the expert.” I looked to Paint, but she was shaking her head.

“None of the crew has met them in person,” she said. “I think this whole area usually gets deliveries from a specific company, or individual, or something — anyways, it’s not us. We’re the last-minute replacement.”

“Uh-huh.” I held the bio-shielded case full of expensive plants a little tighter. “So they’re rich, probably important, and if we do anything to displease them, we’ll never make another delivery in this part of the system again.”

Zhee clicked a pincher arm. “Accurate.”

Paint spread her scaly hands in what was probably a calming gesture. “It shouldn’t be that bad,” she said. “We’ll just hand the package over quietly, and not make a fuss. We know some things about the client.”

“Do tell,” I said. “I wasn’t up front when the captain took the call.”

Paint ticked off points by counting on her knuckles. “The client is the only one who lives here, though she throws big parties. She didn’t seem to like talking more than necessary. She has very fancy fur patterns. Prey species.” Paint looked up a bit guiltily. “I misses the name of the species, but they eat plants, and evolved with some big predators that aren’t a problem anymore. Captain Sunlight said so.”

Zhee made a quiet noise that I interpreted as confidence that they wouldn’t have been a problem for him anyways.

“So I guess we’ll be polite by keeping quiet and not making any sudden movements,” I said. Then I looked at Zhee, with his shiny exoskeleton and natural blade arms. “If she looks afraid of you, hang back.”

Zhee scoffed, but paused to let Paint and me get a single step ahead.

We reached an archway woven with multicolored vines and dangling pea pods. The hedges on either side were crisply trimmed to an absurd degree. And through it was a sprawling meadow of lounging spots, fountains, and flowering trees. Dozens of locals socialized there in absolute silence. I hadn’t heard a thing aside from the fountains.

I froze at the archway, with Paint and Zhee right beside me. A couple of the closest partygoers glanced our way, then ignored us with body language that felt pretty rude, honestly.

They all had elaborately-patterned fur: mostly spots and swirls, in the gold-to-brown range. Proportions that seemed just as comfortable on all fours as on two. Tall ears like many a prey animal that I’d known, very mobile and expressive, speaking a language of tilts and twitches that I could only guess at. Big eyes.

Paint whispered, “That’s her by the big fountain, with the starburst swirl patterns.”

“Which? Oh, there. You’re sure?” Those definitely were some fancy patterns — did she get her fur dyed? — and the cushy spot surrounded by red berries did seem like a place of honor.

“Yes, I saw her on the call,” Paint said firmly. “Oh, and that one too! The captain said they’re having some sort of feud.” She pointed at an especially bright-furred party-goer who was approaching the host.

I shifted uneasily. “Why isn’t the captain doing this delivery?” I muttered.

“Busy,” said Zhee.

Paint sighed. “Busy. But look; I think they made up. We should be clear to approach.”

The golden-blonde local had strolled over to within a few lengths of the host, then flopped down to lounge in the sun, looking just as relaxed as anyone there.

Anyone but the host. I saw her nostrils flare, and thought of rabbits.

“Wait,” I said urgently, holding out a hand. Paint and Zhee stopped. “That might be a ‘I’m a happier rabbit than you’ move.”

“A what,” Zhee said, just as the host scrambled to her feet with an angry thump to the ground.

Every head there whipped around to watch. The blonde offender was also getting to her feet, but not fast enough; the host tackled her into a vicious tumble of fur and angry screeching.

Others dashed over, but the fight ended quickly, and the offender was ejected from the party. A half dozen others escorted her towards the archway with tense body language of their own.

We were still standing there like idiots. Paint and I jumped to one side and Zhee to the other, letting the procession pass. Once they had, everyone was looking at us instead.

Not my best entrance, but here goes, I thought as I stepped forward with the plant held front and center. I heard Paint and Zhee fall in behind me.

There was an unnerving amount of silent staring as we approached, but nothing outright hostile, and nobody seemed afraid of Zhee. Good enough.

The host of the party was back on her mossy cushion, plucking berries and eating them one at a time with an air of deliberate haughtiness. She’d smoothed her fur, though there were a few damp spots. She looked past me as I set down the case.

Normally I would have said something cheerful to the client at this point, a friendly greeting, maybe a compliment or two, but this time I just held out the ID pad. With hardly a glance, she pressed her delicately clawed hand onto the screen. The beep of confirmation felt loud.

I nodded, stood smoothly, then backed up a couple paces before turning away fully. The three of us made our careful way back through the archway.

“Whew,” I whispered once we were out of sight. “All the friendliness of a firing squad.”

Zhee walked ahead, muttering about mammals and unnecessarily complicated social rituals.

“I’ve seen worse,” I told him. “This was just a bit of passive-aggressive ego drama.”

Zhee waved an arm in disdain.

I didn’t comment on the kind of ego drama that he himself was fond of.

“I’m just glad we didn’t walk out into the middle of all that,” Paint said.

“Seriously,” I agreed. “Might have dropped the package. And then what would we do?”

“Pee, scream, and run,” Paint declared.

I thought of that many gnawing teeth aimed in our direction. “Yeah, probably.” I held up a hand and pointed out a tiny pale scar. “I got bit by a rabbit once. Well, more than once, but this one left a mark. She was much like these guys, just a lot smaller. Every inch the princess, mind you, but I have known some very nice rabbits too.”

I told Paint comforting stories on the walk back to the landing pad, with Zhee pretending not to listen, and both of us pretending that we didn’t notice.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come!

[kepesktribe]

6. First kiss for Sybela? ❤

This took soooo long to write because this was RPed in game so long ago and we didn't keep screenshots of the actual rp (kept the single screenshot though. Ignore Sybil being the wrong class in it). We also had to edit a few things. But I enjoyed rewritting the whole scene myself from Sybil's pov and my rp partner liked it too. (I let her read it to approve of the changes made since we haven't tried rping it out again and also to ask if i portrayed Abela right) I absolutely love how this turned out! Thanks for this! @elveny ~MK

Sybil sighed as he propped an elbow on the rough wooden table and let his chin fall onto his hand. Shining silver drifted over to peer at his companion for the evening. The blue skinned elezen seemed to shine as she let out a laugh, listening to the joke that a Fortempt knight had told. Before this, they had been out training together. A means for Sybil to work through the turmoil in his mind as he mastered the dark knight arts and everything around them. Abela had simply agreed to help him too. As she always had. In learning to write Eorzean. In looking out for his sister. In... his nightmares. Her company, the salve that kept them at bay. The only lasting solution he had found. He had long since realized how much he cared for her... and that made everything so much worse. He had done numerous things to try and keep those horrible dreams of darkness and fire from the sky away. She had found out about the worst one... and promptly volunteered... partially. He had taken many a person to bed in the hopes their company, and sometimes extensive activity together, brought about a peaceful slumber. And then they were forced to Ishgard and the cold bitter nights alone... where he couldn't escape... and she witnessed what his nightmares brought him for the first time. Abela hadn't even hesitated to offer to chase them away in his bed. But that had been the end of it. Only to share the bed... and it hurt... because he wanted more. To hold her. To cherish her. To kiss her and offer his heart to her. Abela had easily and effortly captivated him... and he found himself...

"If you don't want to make a move, maybe I might sweep her up instead."

Sybil shook out of his thoughts with a start at those words. Turning his head, he found a knight that wasn't there before. Had he taken shelter in this lone tower after his shift? Well it was at least warmer. "Excuse me?" Sybil blinked at the man and got a laugh in return. "The look you had watching her looked like you wanted to steal her away but lacked the ability to do so. In which case, I thought to do so instead." Sybil wanted to bristle at the comment but settled for a thinning of his lips. "You can try. She would more than welcome a chance to flatten you on your back." As far as Sybil was concerned, Abela had shown no interest in any romance since he had met her. All the more reason he shouldn't be jealous. He was though.

"Now why would I do such a thing?"

Once more Sybil had been startled. Abela stood before them with a hand on her hip and a single eyebrow raised in question. "You boys better not be plotting any mischief."

Before sybil could even reply, the knight had moved to her side and offered a good natured grin. "Oh nothing of the sort. I was just telling our mutual friend how he shouldn't hesitate or else someone else may beat him to it." To ensure his point, the knight gave Sybil a wink before walking off to join his fellows. Silence filled the air for a few breaths before Abela cleared her throat. Sybil knew instantly she was waiting for him to elaborate and he cursed that particular knight.

"It is nothing. Just some mindless guy talk." He tried to deflect. Abela had none of it and just pushed up her glasses with a stern look in her eyes. From behind her, the knights voice pitched a little louder, probably on purpose. "Ha, like a lovesick pup." If memory serves, he shouldn't have saved that knight and his squad from those dragons outside of dragonhead. He cursed the knight all the more in his head.

"Love is it?"

"Ah, nothing to concern yourself over. Simply what ifs and joking aro..." Sybil couldn't even finish as Abela shifted her weight and crossed her arms.

"Oh do not take me for a fool. You won't get out of this. Well, tell me who?"

The glow of Sybil's Limbal rings seemed to dim as he realized this is where it all ends. His spiked tail dropped the most it ever had as a pit formed in his stomach. Standing he turned his back to Abela. "What point is there to tell? It won't make a difference. She wouldn't feel the same."

Abela scoffed a little. "How would you know? You are not her."

Sybil thought over that but shook his head in the end. "You know as well as I the kind of man I am. The things I have done. I am unworthy of her. What could she even see in me?"

"Look at me." When Sybil didn't, Abela called his name in a warning. Biting his lip gently, he turned back around. He met her gaze for only a brief moment before silver fell to his feet. He could hear her sigh, see how her lower body seemed to shift every so softly. One hand rose up to cup his cheek and drag his gaze back. "I would think she would see your kindness. The way you care so deeply for your sister and friends. How broad your shoulders are in response to how determined you are to protect those around you and the strength you have to back it up. Why are you always so hard on yourself? Anyone would be lucky to have your love."

"Even if that person was you?" There. He finally said it. Just as he thought too. She looked at him in shock, her hand frozen in place. He smiled sadly as he nuzzled it before forcing his head away and looking away once more.

"For how long?" He finally heard her say after a few moments, seeing the flicker of her hand dropping to her side in the corner of his eye. "When you protected me... fighting Garuda." He managed to mumble. More silence followed.

"Please. Just ignore I said anything. I... I don't want to lose what we have. I don't... want to lose you." He held up hope he could still keep their friendship intact. The nights would be so much worse... so much lonelier...

"Oh for the love of... You silly oaf!" Sybil didn't know how he expected Abela to response, but it wasn't what had happened next. Self doubt and worry all ceased to exist as his mind fell completely blank. Vaguely he could hear whistles and calls but they sounded miles away. All he could focus on was the hands that had reached up and grabbed his horns. That had forced his gaze back and his head down. All he could feel... was the lips pressed deeply against his own.

[mercurytrinemoon]

Me debunking astrology generalizations and misconceptions or smth idk...

Squares and oppositions aren't pure evil. 

I can't believe I have to say this because I thought ya'll have learnt the characteristics of every aspect but here we are. Nothing in astrology is black and white. And I saw some ridiculous statements (not necessary here on tumblr) that said things like "if your Venus squares someone's ascendant then you don't find that person attractive AT ALL". Or "Mars square Mercury people can't speak politely and have an annoying voice". Like????? First of all, that's ridiculous. Second of all, square in not "everything bad" just like trine is not "everything amazing". Squares bring tension, which leads to motivation, they’re stimulating; sometimes excitement or charisma; sometimes they can make you overdo things. I'm not saying they're oh-so-marvelous because the challenges are still there, but they're not as bad as people paint them to be. Squares happen between two signs that are in the same modality so they have a bunch of things in common. Besides, some of them (Sagi-Pisces and Gemini-Virgo) are ruled by the same planet so there's a special type of chemistry between those (especially when applied to synastry). Oppositions work in two ways, planets either meet in the middle - opposite signs usually complete each other and fuel each other up. And worse case scenario? Natally this means being pulled in two different directions; synastry-wise, you can completely miss each other like two passing cars - so there may be some misunderstandings but I don't think that's the end of the world... And, as per usual, may be mitigated by other positive aspects.

This is me debunking other people's attempts at debunking Sun sign compatibility. 

Sun IS very important but when people ask about compatibility and go with Suns... and then someone tries to be a smartass and debunk the "compatible-incompatible" and does the same thing without even realizing it. Like, "oh I actually see a lot of Aries and Pisces having amazing relationships because *insert someting that is a total stretch and refers to their Sun sign traits*"... But you seem to forget that they're neighbouring signs... which means they probably have personal planets in those neighbouring signs... which means they're compatible not because of some made-up stuff that you're trying to come up with but because their other planets are compatible with each other. But you're still feeding into the Sun sign compatibility talk. (So like, what I'm trying to also say, yes, the entire synastry chart comes into play; Also, side note, everyone can get along on some level if they’re mature enough).

Planet in a sign is NOT the same as planet in the house. 

There may be some overlaps in some of the sign-houses associations (like in the overall energy; like for example, it sort of makes sense that 3rd, 7th and 11th are referred to as “air houses” because they’re the most social) but in NO WAY there are similarities between planet house position and the "ruling" sign. That association started a few decades ago and some would say that NOT linking houses with signs is a purely traditional approach. But there’s plenty of professional modern astrologers with 20/30/40-year experience who still differentiate between sign/house position... because they know (and have learnt along the way) that there’s a huge difference.

I'll give you 3 quick examples: Gemini planets and 3rd house planets both may put emphasis on communication, mental stimulation and gathering data. But Geminis are often scattered in their approach, they may be easily distracted, may be indecisive, may be jack of all trades and talkative jokesters. They actually hate routines and dullness. "Spice it up" is probably a Gemini's philosophy. Now 3rd house planets may indicate you actually LIKE doing things on the regular - like running errands every other day in the mornings or going to that one specific coffee shop to pick up a snack. You may actually work in logistics or as a postman (especially if your chart ruler or MC ruler is in the 3rd). Planets in the 3rd talk about your siblings, neighbours or school experiences - like having Venus in the 3rd may point to positive experiences within those areas - something Gemini Venus has nothing in common.

Venus in the 9th can study at an art/beauty or fashion school (or even teach there if the MC is involved); can be very attached to spiritual and religious matters; can also find love in a foreign land. But imagine it being in Taurus - rather shy, needing those stable values to feel secure, being an exceptionally great student at that art school thanks to its domicile. Venus in Sagittarius on the other hand, likes adventure, things being shaken up from time to time, lightheartedness and exploration. But what if we flip the scenario and that Sag Venus is in the 2nd house. This can denote earing money through travelling and looking for ways to expand but in a financial matters.

Continuing with the Venus examples, having Venus in Aries is completely different than Venus in the 1st. What do people usually say about Venus in the 1st? That it makes the native charming, lovely, well-put together, with great manners, maybe beautiful, graceful, maybe a bit shallow. When in Aries? None of these characteristics fit, on top of that, it's in its detriment. Our poor gal Venus is uncomfortable and confused in Aries. She's like, "conquer? Swords? Selfishness? Obnoxiousness? Sparring? You're telling me to fight people? What am I doing here???" 

And I'll leave you here with that cause those examples weren’t that quick lol and in fact, I could give you a 100 of those. Besides, this actually inspired a 3-page rant that I've already posted not so long ago that you can read HERE.

There's no such thing as "more accurate" astrology. 

Both western and vedic are valid. Both can show you the same things. JUST KEEP THEM SEPARATE AND DON'T MIX THEM WITH EACH OTHER. And don't say things like "sidereal shows your soul" - omg I saw this statement soooo many times, who the hell even came up with this?! Actually, if anything, it's the modern western approach that "psychologized" (yea I just made up a word, you mad?) astrology while Jyotish still sticks to the very real "here and now", sometimes fatalistic predictions of how exactly your life is going to roll out... But hey, reach for hellenistic methods and they can tell you the same things, just with different tools. So no, they do not show different things, it's just their language is different.

If you say you don't identify with your chart then you're just reading it wrong.

This partially connects to the last one in some ways... Switching to a different astrology or different charts is not a solution. Learn how to read your natal. If you say it doesn’t describe you, I can guarantee you that you haven’t studied it properly. (Now this hasn't turned into a rant yet but I may actually do a whole-ass post on this because if I start elaborating on it now I'll end up with another 3-page essay).

Learn how and when to generalize. Also learn how to take generalizations. 

I understand that you have to pick up on every single thing separately in order to put everything together. It's like learning a new language: first you need to learn individual words and then you need to know the proper grammar to create a full sentence. This is 100% understandable and necessary, but it's important to take the entire thing into consideration. And this goes for all branches of astrology, but I guess it's especially annoying with synastry. This, again, comes down to the very black and white approach. You know, like when you see those long paragraphs where people elaborate on all the intricacies of Venus-Pluto aspects or whatever as if that one thing was determining the entire relationship between two people. (Side note, no shade but some of ya'll should start writing fiction or poetry cause the amount of fluffy speech and waffle that I see floating around here on tumblr is insane sometimes). Why are you wording everything as a make it or break it type of situation? And on the receiving end - learn how to take *properly phrased* generalizations constructively. Example: it IS a rule that Aries is a competitive one, maybe you're not one of them (for many reasons) but don't make a fuss about someone saying this. It IS a basic rule that energies of the same sign in two people are going to get along (well that depends on the planets involved but I digress), if that, for some other reasons, doesn't apply to you, don't go yelling that it's bullcrap because you hate people of the same sign. You know? Like, learn the difference.

DON'T SCARE PEOPLE WITH ASTROLOGY.

I had a mini-rant on this one a while ago, but I think this deserves a constant reminder (and refers to the last point), I don't want to see any more posts that would say things like "xxx house placements will bring you suffering" or "stay away from people with planets in your xxx house" or, even worse, making a (completely untrue btw) prediction based on one single thing like "someone with so-and-so aspect is going to harm you". And you're so casual about it??? You know there are sensitive people in the world. Learn some ethics. Learn some counseling skills. Don't be ignorant. Don't throw these random stuff at people just like that. And learn some actual astrology cause most of these aren't even closely describing that particual aspect. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Ok now I'm pissed again.

Studying astrology and believing in free will doesn’t go well together.

It's not just psychological and spiritual. It's useful to know that western astrology made it like that because there were still people threatening astrologers for using it as a divination tool. So they moved away from the predictive/deterministic aspect of it. Now, I'm not here to change anyone's beliefs cause that's a very personal thing that everyone should develop on their own. But once you start diving deeper into astrology you'd notice that there's a heavy emphasis on fatedness and things being predetermined. That includes both the good and the bad stuff and you should learn to accept that. And with the bad things specifically, let's not excuse it with some "oh that was an opportunity for growth". Like yea, maybe, occasionally??? But just acknowledge that sometimes things happen not because there was a deeper meaning in them... but because you have a Pluto-Mars conjunction in the 6th that makes an applying square to your chart ruler and you were going through a profection year where Mars was your time lord and it transited that chart ruler while making a conjunction with Neptune so you were attacked by a baby crocodile while swimming and it bit off your toe and you got a nasty infection and that’s it (I just made that up btw, I don't actually know anyone who was attacted by a crocodile). So like, sometimes shit just happens and there's nothing psychological about it. Also, I bet your free will didn't want to be attacked by that croc.

[beastenraged]

oranges and unicorns

@hallowed-nebulae

What would it be like, Xion wonders, to live a life before this one?

To wonder what was more real, a current life or the memories from before? ...maybe she does know it’s like for Xehanort and Ruse. Because that’s what happened with her and Sora, how she doubted her realness because of the memories she carried from Sora.

..her friends helped her discover who she was, outside Sora. Because Sora never became friends with them, thought he befriended (still befriends) so many others. 

That’s what happened with Ruse too, with Namine and herself. Among others. That’s must have what happened. 

...but what about Xehanort? Do they have friends that support them? There is Ven and Terra and Vanitas, and they seem helpful. Especially Vanitas, he and Xehanort seem close. Oh, that’s good then! They do have friends!

But talking to them would probably still be good. 

“Do you know where Xehanort is?” Xion asks Ruse. 

Ruse looks up from her orange, peels in her mouth as she slowly blinks at Xion. 

“Sure you don’t want to know where Vanitas is?” Ruse teases, after swallowing the peels down with a noisy gulp. 

Her cheeks warm as she looks away from those knowing red eyes. “Uh-! He was nice, but...I don’t want to be overbearing! What if he’s like you and doesn’t like that kind of thing?”

Those same red eyes soften. “That’s a good point. What if I check for you? None of ‘em will think you’re interested, and then get embarrassed to be around you.”

Xion twists her hands together. “I would appreciate it.”

That’s what you’re supposed to say about that sort of thing, right?

“Okay.” Ruse gives a firm nod, tossing her orange up and down. “Let’s go find Xehanort!”

Finding Xehanort doesn’t take long. She’s in the big open part of the castle with the glass windows, talking with unicorn-man. Ira, that’s his name. The light comes through in all different colors through the fixed up glass, breaking apart on Xehanort’s face. 

Making her look like...a rainbow. Or a quilt. Not anything broken, just pieces that are fitting together like they’re meant to. 

“Heya!” Ruse speaks first, takes the attention so Xion can look the pair over some more. It’s what they usually do, and Xion is forever grateful for it. She should be over needing to be so careful, this isn’t the Organization, but...Xion might always need to watch and look before she can speak.

Ira the unicorn man merely gives a polite nod in their direction. Xehanort stops talking, looking a little nervous. Oh, the unicorn mask is so very elaborate! Her fingers itch to fold herself a mask just like it out of paper. Or a unicorn head!

“What do you want?” Xehanort asks.

Ruse peels off an orange slice. Two. Tosses them in Ira’s and Xehanort’s direction. Xehanort fumbles but manages, Ira catches the offered slice without even a blink. 

Ruse’s way of trying to make them feel welcome, Xion knows. It’s just like how she brought Xion to the Twilight Town bakery after Xion...cried about being a fake. Left the Organization, in exchange for a hug and treats. ...That makes her sound like a easy mark, doesn’t it?

(No, it’s more than that. It was the comfort offered, the truth after so many lies. A promise that Ruse offered and has fulfilled, many times over.)

“Soooo,” Ruse draws out. “What’s Vanitas’ thoughts on a one time date? Hypothetically?”

Xehanort chokes. Looks up from the orange she’s been examining suspiciously. “Is this a bribe? Is that why you gave this to me?”

Ruse laughs. Throws her head back in an exaggerated fashion. “No, of course not! Everyone deserves food and that food is just to say hi! The question’s separate, yes or no?”

“...you would have to ask them,” Xehanort says. 

“Alright. Sounds good to me.”

Xion rubs her tongue against the back of her teeth. So maybe she has a chance? Just maybe?

“You are the same kind,” Ira says, out of nowhere. He’s not looking at the orange or eating it. Just holding it. “Both of you are Dream Eaters.”

Ruse looks taken aback. “Uh, yes?”

Xion nods her head. Waits for him to say more. Looking him over, in his bright robes and with his hidden face. 

Xehanort looks them over closely with grey eyes. “Both of you? You’re Dream Eaters?”

Ruse tilts her head back and forth. Xion speaks up. “Yes. Also known as Replicas, more specifically.”

“Replicas?”

“That means we were supposed to be other people,” Ruse helpfully adds. “Both of us were made in the image of other Keyblade wielders. To make more Keyblade warriors, you know?”

Ira inhales. “How foolish. Taking on a Keyblade should be a choice, not something forced on a child.”

That seems...personal. Xion looks him over carefully. 

Ruse shrugs in forced causality. “It turned out okay in the end. Xion’s got her changing face and she’s not forced to be Sora. And I’m not a Riku, Riku’s my brother instead.”

“...do you have a Keyblade?” Xehanort asks. “I saw Xion with one. But not you.”

Ruse scratches at her scars. “Nope. Not for me.”

“Ruse, if you want one, I can help,” Xion offers. Because there was that old book with the story of passing on Keyblades. If Xion could get a Keyblade, Ruse could too.

“Not for me,” Ruse repeats with more heat. “Besides, you know what Even says about my Heart and stuff. Not strong enough to support Keyblade experiments and all that, leave it be.”

That’s true. Xion nods as Ruse offers her an orange slice. She accepts, bringing it up to her mouth. The fruit is tart. Good. 

While Xehanort and Ira are still digesting what Ruse said, it’s Xion’s chance to speak. To look carefully into Xehanort’s grey eyes. “See, we get it. You don’t have to be whatever you were before. You can be...a person. Whatever person you want.”

If Ruse can promise that and keep it, then Xion can too. Even for someone from a different universe, even someone with a past life. 

Promise. 

[zhansww]

I decided to switch to an ask, hope that's okay. So one big reason why I commented in the first place because I thought of you as some crazy shipper, but after talking to you for a while I saw it's not really true. That was purely me being wrong and I apologise. I just went through your whole pinned post and a lot of it was stuff that I already expected and I still don't think I can change you mind but really, a lot of that stuff is things that friends could do. 1/?

Getting dinner together, giving somebody a necklace etc. friends can do that too. Some might even see it as an elaborate marketing strategy. You see it as romantic, because you want to. And most of the stuff, like posting something at a certain date or time of the day or changing song lyrics is just pure speculation. They might be coincidence. Some things might not even have anything to do with them together but something completely else. 2/? You say that you try to not see hints where there are none, but stuff like that, analyzing dates and looking for clues in what exact time of the day a certain thing was posted in sm is just that.You see those things as romance because you want to see them as such, not because they objectively are. That's exactly it, seeing things where there are none. 3/3

I said this more than once already but I am open to having my mind changed. If I didn't, I wouldn't ask for discussions in my pinned post. To have a proper discussion, though, both parties should 1) have the same amount of knowledge on the subject, 2) leave their emotions out of it and 3) be open to the possibility of being wrong. So again; I am open to having a rational discussion about this. If you aren’t, please let me know.

Getting dinner together, giving somebody a necklace etc. friends can do that too.

Of course they can. But do friends feel the need to be secretive about it? When it comes to their dates in June 2018 and December 2019, they spent the night together. Not to mention, they went out of their way to spend 520 - Lunar Valentine's Day - together. Would friends do that? Right after the date in Dec 2019, Yibo wore a pink hoodie to the airport, which as far as we know was the first time he wore pink of his own volition. In his interview with Cosmo two months later, he got asked "what's the first thing that comes to your mind when hearing the word romance?" and his reply was "pink pink". Cp fans think this means that gg was the one who gave him that hoodie since dd himself doesn't like pink. But even if he didn't receive it from gg, Yibo must have been in a romantic mood to be wearing pink - and that, after being with XZ, his “friend”. Regarding the necklace, if it was given by a friend, then why does Yibo constantly wear it yet hide it? To compare, he wears the necklace and ring Han-ge gave him at any event/recording and he wears those openly, too, the way you're supposed to wear jewelry, right? He wears the ox head necklace at events and also in private, in selfies, in between schedules, during rehearsals etc and he started hiding it, i.e. wearing it under his shirts, after fans started fighting about it. Surely, you know that Yibo is an honest/straightforward/blunt person. If we cp fans were wrong with our theory, he would definitely call us out and simultaneously please his solo fans by telling them they're right, thus putting an end to drama among his fans - but he hasn't. The only thing that explains this is assuming he received it from a romantic partner cuz being involved is something that Yibo’s company would not allow him to go public with so instead, he has to hide the necklace as well as his relationship. Likewise, he surely wouldn’t be wearing the necklace all the time if the one who gave it to him wasn’t even closer to his heart than Han-ge is.

Some might even see it as an elaborate marketing strategy.

Marketing what exactly? CQL is over and done with and they don't have other projects together. Not to mention that their connection has brought more harm to their reputations than good and they have way more solo fans than cp fans. Thinking ggdd would go through so much or any trouble just to give credibility to a lie implies that they do it for clout (which neither of them needs or wants) or that they think that queer relationships is something to make fun of or else, that they have no integrity. What exactly is it about them that makes you think they would be such people? They both starred in a BL. Yibo even insisted on trying for that role although he got rejected twice. XZ has shown his support of the lgbt community before. Given Yibo’s entire attitude and e.g. his song lyrics in WuGan, he doesn’t care about fame/clout. He does what he’s passionate about because he’s passionate about it and for money, according to himself. And I don’t think I even need to point out why XZ has clearly no need for more attention. (In fact, his studio asked fans in a recent statement to stop their fan support and voting etc - as a result, his supertopic dropped several spots from the #1, after having been there for months).

And most of the stuff, like posting something at a certain date or time of the day or changing song lyrics is just pure speculation. They might be coincidence.

So what is the limit? How many coincidences do there need to be exactly for them to stop being coincidences? How can posting something at precisely minute 3 or minute 8 always be a coincidence? Especially when XZ wrote in an older weibo post that he uses kadian. He posted at 13:28 in two of his latest updates. On TTXS, Yibo got asked what romantic things he’d do for his partner and he literally said he’d remember certain dates and times and do something surprising. In a more recent weibo, Yibo made a post in support of Han-ge at precisely 21:00 - the kadian of which means "ai ni", love you. He once posted an ad for his mobile game at 18:21 which means "Yi Bo ai ni" and which could have been directed at his fans. Some of their kadian might be but not all of them are reaching and the sheer quantity of all the kadian they've been using proves that those are not coincidences either. Regarding the changing of song lyrics, yes those are speculation. Gg never actually said he'd do that. But the circumstances around those is what makes it seem meaningful. And that time when he changed the lyrics to have the letters ybxz in the beginnings of lines seems meaningful and obvious enough as is.

Some things might not even have anything to do with them together but something completely else.

Of course that is a possibility and one that I am well aware of. I can and do obviously only base my judgement on what we see and know. If there’s something I don’t know that would somehow make my pov wrong, I would be willing to admit that and change my mind. When it comes to things like XZ, changing lyrics to ybxz or Yibo, posting at 10:05 (gg’s birthday) or talking about ordering clothes home to share and then seeing gg in those clothes or gg posting at times that have Yibo’s name or dd, posting at times that have XZ’s name - make it unmistakable to me that they are each other’s special someone and not anyone else’s. Since those things only fit each other.

You see those things as romance because you want to see them as such, not because they objectively are. That's exactly it, seeing things where there are none.

At the beginning of your message, you apologized for assuming I’m a crazy shipper but you end the message with this. “Seeing things where there are none” is what I’d consider crazy shipping so that last sentence sounds like an insult to me. I don’t know what to make of this, lol. Your assumption that I want to see those things as romance is wrong. They’d have it soooo much easier if they were just friends, why in God’s name would I want them to have it more difficult? They wouldn’t feel the need to hide so much, to be so distant in public. We’d probably get fanservice and selfies and joined endorsements. The scandal from February may not have ever happened cuz they’d definitely have fewer cp fans. It’d be awesome if they were nothing more than friends. Not to mention that making wrong claims about a relationship between two real people, solely based on what my desires are, is selfish - it’s about what I want instead of what is. I do not have that attitude. The fact that I wanted to believe they’re just friends is precisely why it took me several months to concede that I must be wrong. I kept dismissing all that I saw as coincidences or as platonic. I do not want ggdd to be lovers but I also don’t want to deny reality. I know that my perception may be fallible, though, so of course I am open to discussing this. I would welcome being proven wrong about this. You don’t properly back up your claims and your arguments don’t take all that we know into consideration. Which is why so far, at least, you haven’t made me see differently.

[thirstofgames]

kitty and the jailbird

#️⃣2️⃣

-IT'S A MATCH-

A blank chat popped open and Damien stared at it for a second. He had honestly not expected it. The girl actually swiped him right. He looked at the clock impatiently; he did not have much time left in the library. There was a loud shout from the hallway, his muscles tensing, ready to hide the phone and bolt at any second.

He regretted that last question right as he pushed send. It sounded so bitter in his head now. It was a dating app after all and she was a good looking young woman.

you there?

...

hello?

busy flirting with your other matches, huh?

And there it was all about to end, the hot topic of his whereabouts. And the swift and cruel rejection that followed. It had already happened one too many times! Could he go through his again? Was it worth it? His palms were sweaty, but he never felt so cold. If the ground could just open up and swallow him whole before she finished asking... 

No, sorry

Just a little surprised we matched

you can unmatch if you want

Well, what I want is to talk with you 😊

Your profile caught my eye

what part?

Your profile pic at first.

Most guys can't pull off the broken, deep and scowling thing

But... looks good on you.

you don't look so bad yourself-

but then I read your description...

and I have to know something

shoot 🙄

It was a simple Yes/No question, but it took Kate way to long to answer. She bit her lip, thinking hard on the possibilities. It was such an unfair question though. She was not going to leave, but was not going to pursue anything with him until she knew what he was in for and how long he was going to be locked up. She'd wasted enough years waiting up on others... 

I'm just a little confused 🤔

Are you really in jail?

you gonna leave if I say yes?

It really depends...

A bittersweet smile spread on his lips. What was he expecting from a girl like her? She probably had a nice job, a supporting family and tons of friends and... an actual future. Why would she even consider wasting her time with him? The little time he had left... Better to just pull off the band aid!

She felt to bad! She hadn't meant to disregard his feelings, but wasn't it fair to let her know what she was getting into? She didn't even know what he was expecting from the conversation they were having... She was curious, but she didn’t want to lead him on.

okay, let's just say...

the orange pants and barbed wire are real

OMG

I have so mane questions 😱

here we go...

What did you do?

Wait, where do you even hide your phone?

STOP!

enough with the interrogation, alright?

I'm just curious...

sure, but i'm more than just a prisoner

a little respect goes a long way

Kate’s heart sank. He was hot, but the prison was a serious issue... She supposed people were not lining up to get to know him. He seemed pretty well rounded and mannered, but he was very defensive about his crime. Did that mean it was something really bad? But he was on a dating app... so maybe he was getting out soon? 

You're right!

I'm so sorry 😓

Let's change the subject

Why don't you tell me what you're looking for

hmmm

What?

i'm thinking...

nobody's really asked me that before

Seriously?

most people stop talking to me when they find out i'm locked up

i don't really blame them. i'm rough around the edges.

She didn't say anything for a while and Damien started wondering if he should just close the damn phone and leave. He should also probably take a break from Lovelink after this... it clearly wasn't doing him any good. Dark thoughts swarmed his mind and he had to close his eyes and head his head back against the bookshelf to get rid of the harrowing feeling. Like he was falling in an endless pit...  

The screen showed him typing and deleting several responses. Kate pursed her lips, impatient. Had she said anything wrong? She’d never spoken to someone who’d been locked up, she was still unsure what could trigger painful memories, or just remind him that he was... not free. But he said he just wanted to chat and his profile mentioned 'deep conversations'... 

Okay, I'm not running away, for now

but...

But I can't really make up my mind

If I don't know anything about you

So...

alright

honestly I'm just looking to talk to someone from the outside

it can get pretty boring in here, just waiting around the clock

Let's be friends then 😊

I'll be your window to the outside world

If that's alright with you...?

Damien sighed on the other end. Beggars can’t be choosers. It was a step in the right direction though. Maybe he was not going to find the love of his life at the very fucking end of said life. He was not living in some fairytale! He was still going to die, alone and forgotten.

But maybe... just a little less alone at the very end of his road. One friend meant more than none and maybe, just maybe... he could tell her his side of the story. Eventually. She seemed patient and understanding enough. Let at least one person out there know he did not murder his own father. 

sure

that's more than most

Of course a pretty thing like her got a lot on attention... She was only chatting up with him because the others were offline- 

but it must have been pretty bad to be such a long sentence

you still can't tell me what the crime was?

look, i've been making my own rules my whole life

you better ask what crimes I DIDN'T do

wow...

i'm no bragging or anything, just letting you know where I'm at

anyways, I'm more interested in what you're all about

what are you doing on an app like this?

Honestly...

I was about to uninstall it right before we matched 😅

Oh

you already found the one?

or no luck at all?

Well, I went on a few nice dates...

i see

Suddenly his experience on the app seemed less awful. Maybe it was not the right place. Or perhaps it was just the place for a misfit like him, here with all the weirdoes and con artists. 

And then they ditched me for their exes

Just my luck 😂

Oh and I swear to god if I see one more vampire 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

vampires?

Yeees

You wouldn't believe some of the things I saw...

OMG, one dude was actually dresses up as a centaur

I...

don't even want to ask

There's also the 'prince' scam going around

Dudes claiming to be the heirs of some  

Made up countries and asking you for money

It wasn't quite a rejection, but it still hurt a little. She already mentioned twice she was only interested in him as friends. She didn't need to spell it out every few minutes! But she was the only one... 

Met some nice people too ☺️

Actually became good friends with some

Which is nice since I just moved here

were did you come from?

Pallay 💜

you're a long way from home

I know 😢

I suppose it was getting kinda lonely

My friends and family come visit when they can

But that's not a lot...

what brought you here?

Got a really good job opportunity

But I didn't quite realize how far away I'd be

So yeah, to answer your question from before...

I'm kinda just chatting with new people

Made more friends than anything else lol

Hope that's aright with you 🤗

A smile crept on his lips. An actual, genuine smile. How long had it been since he had any reason to? God, it felt good to talk to someone! Someone who didn't know him, who didn't shout 'walking corpse' after him, didn't judge him. He almost felt like his old self. Almost. 

i'm cool with that

Great!

Looking forward to getting to know you, Damien 😄

so let's get to it

tell me about yourself

hobbies, favorite food, anything

my hobbies are always changing 🤔

I start something new every month or so

Oh, and I started volunteering at a vet lately

🐱🐶💕

With a friend I made on this app

it suits you

Hmmmmm how would you know?

We've only just met

just a hunch

I could secretly be evil 😈

you couldn't hurt a fly

besides, I've seen evil and believe me

you're not it

I'm guessing you're not going to elaborate on that

Are you?

see, you know me so well already

Smartass 😝

 At lest until she finds out.

And I love food 🤤

Who doesn't? lol

But picking a favorite is like... impossible

I do have one hell of a sweet tooth  🍫🍬🍦

I'm soooo jealous

I miss making my own meals

That's right! You probably just have a cafeteria.

I'm so sorry 😓

it's cool

i'm glad we have something in common

Is there any food you miss?

Wait... was there even steak in that picture? Kate felt her ears burning, the fluffy pajamas studently itching at her skin.

just makin my own in general, being in charge in the kitchen

Damien scrolled quickly through his phone, the memories leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He nearly didn’t send the photo. It felt like so long ago, a different time...a different person. But it felt so good to remember! To be reminded of the more happier moments when he had all his life ahead of him! And showing her a piece of his past may make her curious enough to stick around for a while longer.

He hit Send.

-Tap to download photo-

Oh

Looks... delicious

you like steak? 

Oh yeah, the food 😳

Wish I could have a bite of that hahaha

So not so shy and innocent as she claimed. Good to know. Even if it didn’t lead anywhere, which he had to be realistic about - he was on death row after all - it was still fun. The most fun he’d had in a long while. It felt...nice.

HA!

i wish you could too 😏

The door of the library swung open hitting the opposite wall. The guard in charge could be heard arguing with someone. At least four voices. He had to move fast.

I'm really hungry now 😅

good

Kate stared at the screen, the little green light besides his profile picture going grey. She scrolled through the conversation as if to make sure she hadn’t just imagined it. She tapped the picture he’d sent, a small smile creeping on her lips. He looked so... normal. Well, more like smoking hot, but she expected some kind of dump, or some greasy repair shop, not Greek sculpture level abs. The boy should come with a warning! She was a sucker for bad boys, but had she gotten so bad that she was now considering a fucking convict? What if he was a murderer or something??

shit!

???

someone's coming

gotta hide my phone

talk soon

Be careful! 🙏🏻

Her ice cream, forgotten on the coffee table, had turned to soup.

What had she gotten herself into?

[shellku]

Film Challenge

Okay guys. Finally did it. As requested.

Have you ever left a theater before the movie was over?

Yes. Only once.

If you ever left a theater what was playing: Savages

Craziest (Random) movie you’ve ever seen:

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

“And thanks for all the fish” -Dolphins

Most disturbing film you’ve ever watched:

Crimson Peak

A film you only watched because (Tom Hiddleston ) was in it: Crimson Peak

A minor role (or movie) with a major actor you greatly enjoyed: Sebastian Stan as Jefferson/The Mad Hatter in Once Upon A Time.

A minor role (or movie) with a major actress you greatly enjoyed: Emma Watson as Pauline Fossil in Ballet Shoes

A movie everyone should see at least once: The Princess Bride

A movie you thought everyone has seen but apparently not: Who framed Roger Rabbit?

A movie you’ve tried multiple times to watch but never get through it: Silence if the Lambs

A movie that legitimately surprised you:

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. While it came out in 1980 I didn’t see it until much later obviously. I wasn’t even ten when I watched it the first time, I and was genuinely shocked.

Movie that you enjoy, that surprises people you enjoy: Scream (1996)

A movie you associated with Religion and it turns out that tracks: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

A movie you watched a lot as a kid but your not sure why exactly you watched it so much:

Hook. (And) The Sandlot.

My first movie that made me question my sexualité: The Priâtes of the Caribbean.

Sections

Anime

First Anime: Fruits Basket. Vampire Knight.

Anime I watched with my (brother): Full Metal Alchemist

Anime I tried to get into and couldn’t: D Gray Man

Anime I was surprised I enjoyed: The Neverland Promise. (And) Soul Eater

Anime I always liked (even when it confused people): Black Butler

Anime that makes me cry: Your lie in April

Anime that I love but now makes me sad too: Sword Art Online

Anime I’m just not into: One Piece

One that was recommended that I enjoyed:

Blue Exorcist

One that was recommended that I was ehh on and did not finish: Attack on Titian

One I probably should watch: Pandora Hearts

One I watched Randomly : Castlevania

One that I did not watch until (college) that everyone seems to have watched: Sailor Moon

Cartoons

Cartoons Everyone should see:

- The Peanuts.

- Garfield.

- Scooby Doo.

- Tom and Jerry.

- Pink Panther.

Cartoon I never liked: Spongebob

Cartoon I hate now: Kiayu? Idk. The one with the bald kid that whines a lot. Ugh.

Cartoon I can make myself ‘watch’ with the (niece/nephews): Paw Patrol

Films you would Recommend:

80s: The Breakfast Club

Book Adaption 80s: The Outsiders

Murder Mystery:Murder on the Oriental Express

Jim Henson pick: Labyrinth

(Suicide) Satire:Heathers

Romance: Titanic

‘Horror’ Movie: The Lost boys

Horror Movie: The Nightmare on Elm Street

Spy Flick: Saint (1997)

Mind trips: The Sixth Sense.(1999) Donnie Darko.

Stephen King: The Dark Tower

Stephen King Miniseries: Rose Red

Studio Ghibli: Howls Moving Castle. Or. Kiki’s Delivery Service.

Action Comedy: Miss Congeniality

Adventure Comedy: Jumanji

‘Dark’ Comedy: The Addams Family

Romantic Comedy: Legally Blonde

Tim Burton

Tim Burton Animated: The Nightmare Before Christmas

Tim Burton Live Action: Edward Scissorhand

Tim Burton Musical: Sweeney Todd

Dreamworks

Favorite Dreamwork’s Film:

Rise of the Guardians (and) How to Train your Dragon

Disney:

Unpopular Recommendations:

The Black Cauldron (and) The Great Mouse Detective

One that is still rather disturbing: Pinocchio

Best Soundtrack (Golden Age): Fantasia

Best Soundtrack (Modern): IDk?!

Classics (Golden) everyone should see at least once: Snow White (and) Bambi.

Wartime Era Pic: The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr.Toad

Silver Age or Bronze Age: Both!!!

Disney Renaissance or Post Renaissance: Both! If I absolutely had to choose though, Renaissance.

Moana or Lilo and Stitch: Lilo and Stitch

Frozen or Tangled: Both

Soul or Monsters Inc: Monsters Inc

Toy Story I and 2/ or/ 3 and 4? Toy Story I and 2.

Underrated: Candleshoe

Disney Holiday:

Live Action Halloween - Hocus Pocus

Live Action Halloween Series- Halloweentown

Animated Halloween- Frakenweenie

Live Action Christmas- Miracle on 34th Street (and) Eloise

Animated Christmas- Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas, Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas, (and) Winnie the Pooh: A very merry Pooh year.

New: The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. (2018)

Disney Reimagined/Live Action:

First that made you rethink the story: Maleficent

Favorite ‘Princess’ Story: Beauty and the Beast

The Surprise: Cruella

The one you worried about but we’re happy with in the end: Lady and the Tramp

The one you worried about but ending up enjoying anyway: Aladdin

The one that was good but you could have done without: The Lion King (which really surprised me!!!I like it but I didn’t love it. Which for me was so strange since I’m a fan of the original and the play.)

The one you had high hopes for and had a mixed reaction too: Mulan. (Ended up really liking it, but I miss Mushu. )

‘Modern’ Shakespeare Adaption:

10 Thing I hate About You (The Taming of the Shrew)

Clueless (Emma)

and

The Lion King Series. (Kid appropriate)

The Lion King: Hamlet

The Lion King 1 1/2: Rosencrantz and Guildenstein

The Lion King 2: Romeo and Juliet

Vampire Pictures:

90s: Interview with a Vampire

2000+: Twilight Series

Tv Series: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Vampire Action Series: Underworld

Classic: Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Dracula with a Twist: Dracula Untold (2014)

Fun Supernatural Flicks :

Witches: The Craft

Male Witches: The Covenant

Fairytale: Red Riding Hood (2011)

Ghost Hunters: Ghostbusters

Multiple Supernatural: Van Helsing (2014)

Werewolf Romance: Blood and Chocolate

Kid Friendly Live Action: Casper

Kid Friendly Animated: Hotel Transylvania

Supernatural Series:

Multi: Supernatural

Animated: Sabrina The Teenage Witch. (And) Scooby Doo.

Witches: Charmed

Fairytale: Once Upon a Time

Darker Fairytale: Grimm

‘Superhero’ Movies:

90s: Batman. (And) The Crow.

Series: Marvel’s Cinematic Universe

Classic Animated: Batman the animated series

Modern Animated: Harley Quinn

Girl Power: Wonder Woman. (and) Birds of Prey.

Something Different: Deadpool

Younger Audiences/Nostalgia: Teen Titans (animated)

Harry Potter

Favorite Film: Idk. Can’t choose honestly.

Least favorite character portrayal: .. Ginny Weasley?

Someone you loved: (so many..) McGonagall

Someone you loved hating: Bellatrix LeStrange

Someone you just hate: Dolores Umbridge

First time you cried: I cried for Sirius and Remus in Prisoner of Azkaban.

First time you jumped: Snakes or Basilisk. Chamber of Secrets. (I think I was 12?)

Someone who was so spot in acting on you can’t see them as anyone else now: Luna Lovegood

Someone who was so good even if the look wasn’t perfect: Emma Granger as Hermione OR Alan Rickman as Severus Snape.

Someone who’s injury hit you harder than the books: Colin Creevy.

Someone who’s death hit you harder than in the books: None. They hit but not as much as the books.

A scene you found just breathtakingly pretty: Christmas at Hogwarts

A scene you found creepy (even when you knew it was coming): Nagini uses a corpse as a mask.

For any Potter heads. Some things that bothered you about the Harry Potter films:

- Where is Charlie Weasley?

- Where is Peeves?

- Where are Neville’s parents?

- The green/blue/brown eye thing. (This is not against Radcliffe. Some special effects could have fixed this easily)

- HarrY DiD YOu PuT YoUR NaMe IN tHe GoBlET of FIRE?! 🔥

- In Sorcerers Stone, Why did you change the snake at the zoos breed??

- “Voldemort” versus “Voldemor”. The silent t.

- Hermione’s. Yule. Ball. Dress. Color. Blue. Not pink. She specifically changed the color.

- Fluffy. Hagrid’s adorable Cerberus was originally bought from a Greek man. Why change it to Irish? I like Ireland but it was a Greek man due to where Cerberus’s initially came from right???

- Harry’s first Weasley sweater color

- Why does Harry only see his parents in the Mirror of Eirsed? Where’s the rest of the family?

- The Underage magic rules aren’t well explained in the movies making the 3rd year summons even more bonkers sounding

- The Patil Twins Yule Ball Outfits. They could have been soooo beautiful. Like this is the Yule Ball! The Twins would have (in my opinion) much more elaborate traditional Indian styled dress robes?? Idk.

- Love Movie Hermione! But some moments take away from Ron. Like when Ron defended her in the Chamber of Secrets. Hermione didn’t know what the slur “Mudblood” meant in the books. Ron had to explain it.

- Dobby needed more screen time. Some stuff Dobby did went to Neville because so many Neville scenes were cut.

- Where’s all the secrecy from the books when communicating with Sirius- “Snuffles”? Something Harry’s godfather insisted on to keep him safe.

- Snape’s title of “The half-blood Prince” is not explained. Neither is it made clear that Severus was also abused horribly at home throughout his childhood. Also that like Harry Dumbledore did nothing to help Severus when he was a student. (Or maybe Tom Riddle when he grew up in an orphanage. I’m sensing a pattern)

- Dumbledore should have still spelled Harry during Dumbledore death scene. No way would Harry just stand there if given the choice.

- Ron was not quite as ‘dumb’ in the books and a lot of his funny moments were cut from the movie. Which makes his jealousy moments all the more unbecoming. He also comes off a bit more arrogant in the movies. (This is not against R Grint. Who is awesome) The movies gave Ron the short end of the stick.

- Weasley/Malfoy Fued. Who else wanted to see Arthur and Lucius have a fist fight in a bookstore? Exactly.

- Albus Dumbledore isn’t all Sunshine and Daisys. He does some really messed up stuff yet no one ever seems to question this.

- Remus was the last Marauder. Yet his and his wife, Tonk’s, deaths are barley acknowledged.

- Also Teddy. Harry’s Godson.

- Harry’s and Ginnys relationship is not built on. It’s just there. Ugh. Heck Movie Ginny isn’t that great. You don’t know much about her except: She’s the only girl in Ron’s family. She’s the youngest Weasley. She’s obsessed with Harry. She’s a good Quidditch player. She has a temper. She was possessed by Riddle’s Dairy when she was eleven. She’s obsessed with Harry.

- Draco is essentially Harry’s antithesis. Where is he in some critical scenes in the movies?

- Where’s the Luna love???? Harry’s pretty rude to her in some scenes.

- There is no S.P.E.W. And Hermione’s more ruthless side is gone.

- The guys hair in The Goblet of Fire. Get a hair cut. Please.

- Some of Molly’s less than Stellar Moments. (Ex. When she believed rumors about Hermione and so treated he coldly. How horrible she was to Fleur. Ect)

- Fleur. Fleur and Bill still get married but the objections to the wedding aren’t as presented in the movies. Not is Molly’s and Ginny’s extreme dislike of Fleur. Or when Arthur apologizes to Fleur. Or really any of Fleurs best moments. The whole courting process is skipped.

- House Elves. The House Elves of Hogwarts.

- Percy Weasley. The ‘betrayal’. The returned Weasley sweater. Him turning to protect his family and fight for Hogwarts at the last minute. All gone. Which involves being forgiven by the Weasley Twins not an hour before Fred dies.

- The connection of the Black sisters. Specifically Adromeda - mother of Tonks. Who is Sirius cousin. Who married Remus Lupin. Tonks and Remus the parents of Teddy.

- Dean Thomas is pretty much gone.

- Rita Skeeter. Illegal Animagus. Hermione kept her in a jar.

- The movies didn’t allow Radcliffe to be sassy and sarcastic enough. Harry Potter is one of the sassiest boys to ever walk through the halls of Hogwarts!

- Harry didn’t fix his wand in the last movie.

- The history of the Marauders.

- The history explaining why Snape could never be comfortable around and trust Remus Lupin.

[padfootagain]

The King And You (IX)

Part 9: Up To The Skies

 Here comes a new chapter for my Caspian series!! It's gonna be soooo cute!! Honestly though, I am making my own self blush and go 'hiiiiiiiiii' because it is so damn cute!

I hope you like this chapter!

Word Count : 2658

Caspian should have felt guilty.

Guilty for enjoying his time in your world. Guilty for forgetting the tolls of his people during his absence. Guilty for how his mind focused only on how beautiful this world was and so… large. Buildings were rising much higher than any tower he could have dreamt to build, and parks were almost woods, and there were so many people everywhere. It was overwhelming, in a magical kind of way. But it was no excuse to not think about his people, not to him.

He also should have felt guilty about the way he dreamt of you that night. Guilty for the flutter of his heart when he saw your smile. Guilty for how he considered taking your hand on the Brooklyn Bridge. Guilty for even thinking of how gentle you were. Guilty for losing track of time while he talked with you. Guilty for getting trapped into your eyes. Guilty for noticing how the sun hugged your silhouette.

And sometimes, throughout the afternoon, he did feel the sharp pinch of guilt, right there, in his chest. But then you would tell him something that made him laugh, or you would just look at him, or smile, or say anything at all, and the feeling in his chest would disappear altogether, like petals carried away by a breeze in the sweet warmth of spring.

He just felt… such a strange feeling when he was with you. Calm. Safe. Reassured. Vulnerable. He didn't know how to describe it, but he felt different, a good kind of different.

"So, this is the Empire State Building."

Caspian looked up with awe painted all over his features. By now, as the sun was about to set on New York City, leaving the moon to take its place. You reckoned you should be used to seeing this look on his face. After all, he seemed awestruck by every place you had shown him during the afternoon. Still, you couldn't refrain a content smile as you looked at his mesmerized expression.

"Shall we go up?" you invited him, and he accepted your offer with a grin.

Caspian was not used to elevators yet. He felt a little trapped in them, nervous, almost claustrophobic. You had explained to him the basic notions, and he had to admit that he was not happy at the thought of being suspended by a tiny string in a metal box, climbing so many meters up. But you were calm, and so he forced himself to seem just as calm as you.

The tiny box you were in was cramped with people, and he found himself forced to be pressed against you. His chest brushed your back, fabric against fabric, but you didn't seem to mind, while he could feel his palms turn wet, and his heart racing to a dangerously high rate, and his throat tightening to a point where he wondered how he could breathe altogether. But no one in the elevator reacted to this extreme promiscuity, and so he guessed that it had to be nothing out of the ordinary for this world. It didn't mean anything. It didn't change the fact that his head was starting to spin as you shifted though, making your arm collide with his.

Finally, the ding of the end of the climb, and this strange feeling in his chest as the elevator came to a stop. He followed you into a hall, and towards the patio.

His first thought was that he had never been so high above the ground before, and it made him a little uneasy. But then he turned to you and saw your grin as your eyes fell on the city splayed at your feet, and he knew that everything would be alright.

Eventually, you made your way to the bannister, and he looked down at the sea of buildings before him, vast, almost unending. The sun was setting, starting to colour the western horizon with paler, almost golden hues while the east darkened to deeper shades of blue. And in between an ocean of concrete, and bricks, and metal, pulsing with life and shaken by an everlasting whisper. Distant sounds of traffic and lives he would never come to know buzzed in his ears while the wind blew colder, making him tighten his collar around his neck. The first lights were alit in the buildings, and he could almost guess the darker shadows of their inhabitants. Strange thoughts crossed his mind about lives in this world, mothers and fathers and children and workers, until he thought of his people again.

From Cair Paravel, he could either see the ocean or the forest, depending on which direction he chose to face. He pictured trees to replace tall buildings, and the sound of waves instead of honking cars.

And for the first time that afternoon, he felt sad.

You noticed the change in his expression: a little more serious, a stray frown passing like a cloud hiding a distant star. He seemed lost in thought. He seemed… homesick.

"What is it like?"

He turned to you again, and it seemed like the redder sun bent to Earth to kiss your eyelashes.

"What is your home like?" you asked again as Caspian was remaining silent.

He hesitated for a moment longer. Where to begin? Would you believe him?

Did it matter though, whether you believed in Narnia or not?

"Wilder," he answered with a smile. "I live in Cair Paravel, it's a… a castle, a fortress."

"Cause you're a king."

"Yes, I am."

You nodded, but didn't seem to be mocking or questioning him. Instead you waited for him to continue.

"It is built on a cliff, right on the edge of the sea. At this time of year, the waters become more agitated, many boats stay ashore. But then spring will come back, calmer, more welcoming, and many will go back to travelling across the waves. I was supposed to travel to the Lone Islands next spring."

"You seem to like the sea. It's dangerous, though."

"Anything worth living has the power to break you. Whether it is because of its nature or how much of yourself you pour into it. In the end, the things that give your life meaning make you the most vulnerable."

You gave him a smile.

"That's kind of true. What else is there in your castle?"

"Gardens. You would like them, I reckon. They are not as large as your Central Park, but… they are filled with music and fountains, and people laughing all year round. And they hold the most beautiful flowers. In spring, when they are in full bloom, their smell travels even to the shores. And beyond the forest stretches for miles. Just… trees till the edge of the horizon. It feels like the castle is trapped between two kinds of oceans."

He was smiling by now, clearly happy to talk about his world with you. And you reckoned that there was no harm in forgetting for a little while that none of the places he spoke of could be real.

"Tell me more."

You exchanged a smile, and he told you of his home and the places he had explored, while day became twilight and finally night, skyscrapers imitating twinkling stars to match a reflection of the firmament, and you didn't drive him back to Agatha's before the building closed.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------

 You went home with a smile on your face that evening. You didn't think about questioning Caspian's stories, he seemed to believe in them too much, and for a while, you decided to play along, and believe in them a little as well.

After that first day of visit, you took Caspian to the Metropolitan Museum.

A third day and he had seen the Statue of Liberty.

One more afternoon, and he had gotten lost in the crowd on Broadway.

Fifth day and you had decided to take him to the cinema, where they showed Notting Hill again.

You thought it was a cute movie, that would probably not have him as confused as Star Wars and would make you both relax. Caspian let you choose the seats and tasted pop corn for the first time.

"It tastes very good," he nodded, taking a third handful of candies.

"I'm glad you like it," you chuckled.

"Have you seen this movie before?"

"Yes, I love it. I watch it every time I feel sad."

"Do you feel sad now?"

You shrugged, considering the question. You reckoned that your life could be easier. Alex kept on calling you now and again, mostly when drunk and in the middle of the night. You had been distracted and had not painted much for the past few days. And of course, there was all the general mess that Caspian had dragged you into. Yet, at that moment, sitting next to him in a theatre, about to watch a movie you loved, you reckoned that the adjective that would fit you best was 'happy'.

"No, no, I'm not sad," you smiled up at him, and he returned the gesture.

Along the previous afternoons, you had spent a lot of time talking, sharing facts about your lives, and the more you looked into his heart, the more you liked what you saw. You just didn't know that he felt the same way about you.

You guessed that you were becoming friends.

Sometimes, when he talked of Narnia, you considered that it was an elaborated game to which you had to play along, and you pictured his imaginary world. Some other times you felt like he was too earnest for it not to be the truth. You weren't sure about that yet, but what you had grown certain of was that Caspian was a good man. And for now, it was enough.

The lights went low, slowly fading as the film began. And Caspian laughed at the jokes, and he wished that these two characters would stay together, and he was touched by their declarations. But it was not what he focused on the most.

While Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts played 'love me, love me not', Caspian's eyes often left the screen in favour of your face.

Sometimes you whispered under your breath the lines you knew by heart. Sometimes you laughed. Sometimes you wore a dreamy smile. Sometimes you were close to tears. The light from the screen gave your features something ethereal. If he had been in Narnia, he would have thought you were a spirit, or maybe just a figure in one of his dreams, perhaps a star. Although, he knew you were real, tangible beside him, and every time you smiled, or laughed, or spoke the words before the actors could, he couldn't stop himself from grinning. He tried to understand his gesture as he noticed it, about halfway through the movie. You were not even looking at him, too immerged in the movie you had watched a hundred times, and yet, his heart skipped a beat every time he turned to you. He couldn't remember ever feeling this way simply because another person sat next to him. The thought of how close the two of you were passed through his mind, a hurricane shaking his whole frame, the realization stirring something deep inside his chest, something dangerous and yet wanted. He finally noticed how your hand rested on the cushioned arm of your seat, right between the two of you. Inches away, yet it felt like it was so far away… unbelievably far… unbearably far. He wished he could reach for it.

But he couldn't, could he?

He spent a minute staring at your hand, considering his thought, trying to figure out if it was a good idea.

In Narnia, him taking the hand of a woman would have been outrageous. Would you consider it the same here?

He looked up to your face again, the changing light drawing moving shadows across your features, and he decided against it. It was too lovely a moment to risk breaking it by a silly impulse. For it was all it could be, after all, or so Caspian guessed, at least. A moment of drifting thoughts settling on a ridiculous idea. It couldn't be just because he longed to hold your hand…

Eventually, the credits rolled up the screen, and the lights were turned on again. You turned to him with a large smile on your face.

"Did you like the movie?"

"I did," Caspian nodded.

"Great, cause I don't think I could be friends with someone who doesn't like it."

While you exited the room, Caspian thought about your words more carefully.

Friends. Was it what you were now? Yes, yes he reckoned you were.

The thought made him smile, yet, he couldn't help but notice that he wasn't as happy as he should have been.

To finish the afternoon, you decided to take a walk to Central Park. You bought vanilla ice creams, and kept on talking about everything and nothing, but there was a lot of laughing involved either way.

Caspian made you feel silly. Happy. A little light-headed. Dizzy like drinking a little too much wine. You felt safe by his side, free to be yourself without caring about him judging you. It was refreshing, in a world where one's image could be so used and distorted. You didn't care. And when you thought about the fact that he claimed to be a King, you guessed that you shouldn't feel that way. Maybe it was because you didn't really believe in the Kingdom Caspian was supposed to lead, or perhaps it was simply because of who he was, in any way, you didn't think about that fact at all. You felt like yourself when you were with him, and that feeling was closer to happiness than you had ever felt.

And Caspian had a similar feeling around you. He was more lost than you, and a bit confused by everything surrounding him, but he felt safe for as long as you smiled. Like no matter what could happen, it would end up being alright. It was so different, spending time with you, learning to know you. For once, he could be himself, without the pressures of the throne, or etiquette, or worry about how you might see him only as the King instead of Caspian. And that feeling of being himself, he reckoned it was very close to feeling happy.

The wind blew stronger all of a sudden, shaking the branches above your two heads, lifting skeleton leaves to twist and fly up all the way to the skies. A tourbillon pushed the leaves around you, making you laugh as they got caught in your jacket, and you looked up to see them fly as if to join the branches they had been forced to leave. And while he watched you like this, walking with colourful leaves flying around you, your eyes set to the tall trees and a laugh on your lips, Caspian's whole frame was shaken by a tidal wave of what he could only describe as tenderness. He just felt so… fond of you. A warm, radiant, almost aching feeling that swallowed his heart whole. When your eyes fell upon him again, he thought the sensation would wane, just a blink, a delicate moment to be remembered, but nothing more. On the contrary though, when his eyes met yours, he found that the feeling refused to leave. Instead, it settled down right there, under his ribcage, consuming his whole heart in mere seconds and claiming it all.

And finally, he realized why he felt so happy whenever he was with you. Why he longed to see you again as soon as you parted. Why it seemed now as if his heart wasn't really his anymore, as if it belonged to someone else, as if it belonged to…

Oh.

Oh, no…

 *******************************************************************************

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[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 80

Holy rabies, chapter 80.  While I’m well aware that I will have to trim things out if I ever publish this in hardcopy, the distance I’ve come since starting with a little 300 word one-shot never ceases to amaze me. So far, this story is a whopping 162k words, and feels nowhere close to finished.

Therefore, if you are reading this, I want to thank you, and YOU, personally.  While this is a small blog, with just a hair over 500 followers, and I don’t seen the reblogs that other blogs do, I do see all the likes of people who don’t follow me.  I appreciate all of it, 

The day had finally come: my, Grey’s, and Xiomara’s work schedules finally reached an alignment only surpassed by celestial objects in its rarity.  A large group of us were gathered in Xio’s office, since her space was larger than mine, and she regularly held staff meetings - unlike Grey who just checked on their staff while working and held meetings remotely.  Still, with six of us present, it was pretty cozy and we tried to limit non-essential people to keep it from getting too crowded.

When I arrived with Maverick in tow, Xiomara and Grey were already sitting with my sister. “There you are,” Tyche rolled her eyes dramatically.  “I only want to go over this information once.”

“Still waiting on Arthur,” I pointed out.

“You wouldn’t have to if you would get out of the door,” snarked a voice behind me.

Maverick gently steered me to a chair and deposited me in it before taking his own, allowing Arthur to take the seat beside Xiomara. Xio arched an eyebrow and glanced around. “Are we sure this is everyone?  I feel like I am missing a few faces.”

“Conor’s on beta shift this week,” Maverick answered first. “And I love him to pieces, but tactics are not at all in his list of talents.”

“Alistair has taken over my office to meet with the Chief Archivist regarding a project she is working on,” I added.  After tapping a couple indicators on the table, I flicked a file at the visual that appeared in the middle.  “He was thoughtful enough to send along all the information he has to contribute, along with theories, however.”

Eyes turned to Tyche. “Antoine had an appointment and honestly didn’t seem to have much to contribute to the situation.”  She seemed tense when she mentioned it, so I filed that away to talk to her later before focusing back on the matter at hand.

None too soon, it appeared, as Grey was next to speak. “In that case, let us begin. Sophia, you asked for this meeting to discuss a concern that recently presented itself to you.  You sent us both a severely abbreviated overview of what you are concerned about, so elaborating would be useful.”

“That’s why you’re here, actually,” Tyche confessed. “While those of us who frequently try to solve the problems of humanity for esses and gees were arguing over the severity of the situation - or if there even is a situation - Alistair actually pointed out that we should lay everything out in front of you, Grey, and ask if our suspicions held up.”

After a nod from Grey and a confused look from Xiomara and Maverick, Tyche and I outlined what we had noticed and allowed Arthur to explain his suspicions. Once we finished, Grey nodded again, solemnly. “From the limited information you have, as you would be viewing it from the outside, I can understand your concerns.  Sophia, the event that occurred with you and our host in the corridor, along with the looks you have all mentioned you receive from these parties, does seem to indicate an ‘us versus them’ mentality. Also, you collectively mention these groups falling silent as you near, along with potentially deactivation of their translation implants; these certainly point to the groups being discouraged from socializing or interacting with anyone not a member of their hypothetical organization. If they have truly managed to deactivate or circumvent their translation implants, that would be even more concrete evidence, as it is evidence of isolationism. However,” they cautioned, “it is nearly impossible to identify a cult without knowing fully of their culture. The information you have provided could equally describe, say, a group of persons who took a vow of silence and eat a diet that lends to digestive issues.”

Maverick and Arthur snorted, earning dirty looks. Maverick shrugged. “Grey literally just said these people are either a cult or a group of constipated Buddhist monks, and you expect no one to laugh?”

“It wasn’t an either/or situation,” Grey corrected calmly. “I simply wanted to make it clear that the answer is not conclusive.” They rested their chin on templed fingers. “The most important identifying factors for a cult can only be seen from within, unfortunately.  And, as secrets and isolation are also key traits, we would only be sure if we spoke to someone who is in the process of being brought within the fold, or someone who recently defected.  Assuming this truly is a cult.”

“If it isn’t a cult, we can probably relax a little, but we should still probably probe it,” Arthur stated.  As I opened my mouth to object, he held up a hand to stop me. “Sophia, if you are about to point out what the Baconists did, and try to argue that they weren’t a cult, I will personally request that Tyche drag you to have your brain examined. Failing that, I’ll convince her to let me do it myself, I swear on all the gods I ever prayed to.” After a steady glare - and a traitorous nod from Tyche - I scowled and let him continue. “That being said, the other purpose of this meeting is strategy: what are we going to do if this actually is a cult, assuming it is one that is detrimental to the Ark.”  When I started to interject again, he rolled his eyes and gave me a baleful glare that ranked only half a point below my sister. “Aetherius Society, Raelism, and a few more.  Weird, but not really harmful.”

“Soooo, all harmful groups are cults, but not all cults are harmful?” Maverick asked for clarification.

Tyche shrugged and tilted her head side to side. “On a ship of ten thousand people, where our species’s continued existence depends on all of us surviving and working together? I would up that to ‘all harmful groups are doomsday cults’, if we’re being really honest.”

Arthur actually made finger guns at Tyche. “Exactly. Detriment to the Ark means detriment to humanity. So, doomsday cult.”

Xiomara leaned forward, a predatory curiosity evident in her eyes. “If we are going to assume this is a cult, we need to focus higher.  Cults are organizations, organizations are like snakes: they have a head. Cut that off, the whole thing dies.”

“Hubbard,” Tyche coughed, not nearly delicate enough to avoid a glare from Xio, but unabashed nonetheless.

“The point is,” Xio continued through clenched teeth, “If this is a cult, it has a leader. Do we have any ideas on that?”

“We actually might,” Maverick offered. He brought up the file Alistair asked me to share, flicking through photos until he found what he was looking for. “Does anyone recognize this person?”

It was an image of a man’s face.  With pale blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, he looked disturbingly similar to me and my sister.  His hair was long on top, short on the sides. A long, somewhat sharp nose gave him an imperious expression - one eerily like Tyche’s when she wasn’t trying to be pleasant.  However, the crawling of not-quite-familiarity ended when I reached his smile: perfectly straight teeth that no one in my family had ever possessed, including - most notably - perfectly even teeth.  Both sides of our family had canines which were just long enough and just sharp enough to be noticeable, which led to entirely too many vampire jokes as we grew up.

There was more to the familiarity, however. “Maverick, can you pull up all of the group images we’ve captured since we started collecting trends?”

He nodded before digging into the larger file.  After a few moments, an enormous grid of images formed a globe above the table.  I started isolating and discarding, and as he realized what I was doing, Arthur joined in.  In the end, we had just over one-third as many photos.

All of them showed the man in the image Maverick originally isolated.

Maverick nodded. “Alistair specifically mentions in his file that this person shows up more frequently, statistically, than anyone else.” He flipped through and popped about twenty more images up before explaining, “These show persons of the same profile and matching a height of the one in the image I showed originally.”

“So, we think this may be the cult leader?” Xiomara asked for confirmation, eyes already darting around, fingers tapping at her datapad.  Finally, she twisted her hand and, essentially, threw the imaginary contents at the projections.  What we got was a three-dimensional model of our suspect. “This model matches a man on board, named Jokull Bjornson.  He is from Canada, both originally and where we picked him up. Led an enclave in the After, focused around Norse/Icelandic faith.” She paused before giving everyone a very… odd?.. look. “He also is the one who submitted the name we eventually chose for the new colony. Which,” she held up one hand to stop objections, “I still stand by my vote in favor. However, I think we need to take the reasoning behind that name into account when creating a psychological profile.” Her hand dropped, ceding the floor.

Silence dropped like wet snow while we all took this information in.  However, before it could go on too long, Arthur snapped forward. “What kind of enclave was he leading?  Because, depending on how it operated under his leadership, that indicates anything from ‘something we can get in and negotiate with’ to ‘very serious threat’.  If nothing else, if he kept something together in the After, he’s no joke we can just laugh off.”

In response, Xiomara brought up another file on her datapad and glanced over it. “According to his original intake interview, it was a largely peaceful one, in as much as any group like that could be in the circumstances.  Only used violence in self defense or to protect the group, that kind of thing. Records show that Miys detected no traces of deliberate misinformation.” She dismissed her datapad and sighed at the ceiling.  “As we’ve learned, that isn’t as conclusive as we would like.  Hujylsogox can’t tell when someone is passing on information they believe but is still false, and obfuscation escapes Noah on a regular basis.”

Arthur stared at each of us in turn, asking for clarification. Before he even got to Maverick, my partner was filling in the blanks. “The traitor, Arantxa Bidarte.  That was kind of before my time, but from what I understand, at no point did she even raise a slight amount of concern with Noah, despite being around several of his avatars on a regular basis, while plotting, and even while isolated on Level One.”

“She truly believed she was working to the benefit of Terra, the galaxy, and so on,” I added softly. “Righteous causes, regardless of the execution or principle, don’t exactly set off alarms for Noah.”

Not one to get distracted, Arthur nodded in acknowledgement and ploughed on. “An entire rebellion was caused in Haiti by Duvalier committing mass murder on wide swathes of his own people as ‘preventative defense’, so I’m not even a little convinced here.  Do we know how many times this little fiefdom of his had to ‘defend’ itself?”

Much more steadily, Xiomara nodded. “Twice.  Again, verified by Noah.”

“Since this is quantitative data, we can be certain there is no margin for error,” Grey added. “My team has, with our host’s permission, run over a hundred tests, and there is no way to falsify information of this nature with Miys, unless the person conveying the information was deliberately misinformed and not allowed to verify the data set.”

“Meaning, if our prospective cult leader says it was two, either he wasn’t in as much control as he thought, or it actually was only twice,” I translated.

Xiomara stood, both hands flat on the table. “Right now, this is a lot of ‘what ifs’. We’ve discussed ‘what if’ this is a cult, ‘what if’ the leader of said possible cult is power-hungry, and ‘what if’ he is a figurehead.  To Grey’s point, however, we have no concrete proof.”  She paused, ensuring she had everyone’s attention. “I understand your concerns.  Really, I very much do, and I am extremely appreciative that you brought them to myself and Grey, rather than running off on some ham-handed, suicidally altruistic mission to handle this yourselves.” 

Hands dropping to her sides, Xio took a deep breath. “Here is what’s going to happen.  My team and I are going to analyze these photos.  In a broad sweep, we are going to bring in the top five people who appear most frequently - ostensibly this would be the leader and his lieutenants.” She glanced at Grey, who nodded in confirmation. “I will not detail anything else regarding the operation, to ensure execution goes smoothly.  Do not speak of this, even to each other, once the door to the corridor opens.  Tell your partners and adjuncts that you can’t speak of it right now, but you will when you are able to do so.  If they behave out of character, notify me at the first, safe opportunity to do so. However, I want this to be abundantly clear: If I find, in any way, that the results of that sweep show prior knowledge, I will hold every single person in this room responsible.  I’m not joking. Do not discuss this, even with me, no matter how long it takes to see fruition. Is that understood?”

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hesitant. Maverick and I knew, but couldn’t tell Conor?  Really, that was my only stopping point: Alistair, I knew, would accept being told that I couldn’t elaborate on the results of this meeting.  I was sure that Antoine would be understanding of Tyche saying the same.  But I had never been anything but transparent with Conor, and I wasn’t even sure Maverick  could lie. A glance at Maverick showed the same trepidation, but he nodded his support all the same. Clearly, neither of us liked the instruction, but were going to support each other in its execution.

Arthur, clearly, had no such hesitation or doubts.  “Gag order. Understood.”

Gag order, indeed.  What an apt name, when gagging was all I wanted to do in that moment.

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[justmickeyfornow]

Too Pretty for a Hookup

Kara clicked on the accept button on the screen and immediately cringed. Gasping as she saw the evidence of the decision she'd been hesitating to make for the past 3 hours.

A one night stand.

On an app called Triple L - which Kara realized after much much thought that it stood for Ladies Loving Ladies. It was an app that Alex had installed for her out of the obligation of getting Kara to hook up with someone to break the dry spell she had been on.

‘Kara, it's not a big deal. You hook up for one night, have a great time, and then you never see them ever again. You need this.’

Unfortunately, her sister was right. As much as Kara hated to admit it and would probably never will. She had been on edge lately. Jittery and easily irritable. She tried everything. From meditation to stress relieving herbal teas to soft music playing in the background. But it was as though her body was always frustrated.

Sexually frustrated.

Which brings her to this moment. She had clicked yes to a brunette one night stand she matched with that she was already regretting. The act of tapping on the screen to accept took at least 3 or 4 hours of pacing and huffing and sighing and eyeing the cursed device. But eventually, she willed the tip of her finger to lightly touch the glass screen.

And now here she was. Regretting it. Que another 3 hours of pacing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kara sat at the bar twirling her straw in what was some type of cherry cocktail with lots of that vodka stuff that didn't affect her. She wasn't sure what was in her cocktail or why she even ordered it. But something about the cliché of drowning your nervousness in a drink seemed somewhat comforting. She had seen it in movies and TV shows and found it to be an interesting behavior at first. Drinking something that can alter your brain to make you do stupid things because you were scared of doing stupid things to begin with.

She could never fully understand humans.

But she didn't argue that the color of her drink sure managed to take her mind off of her night. It was a peculiar kind of red. Not crimson red but not pink either. It was more of a...

“Ms. Danvers?”

“Yes, that's...”

Kara turned towards the voice and almost gasped. A beautiful brunette with striking green eyes stood before her who can only be described as a victim for having a profile picture that did absolute no justice to the real thing.

Kara's eyes followed the ruby diamond hanging around a chiseled neck and dropping just shy of a peeking cleavage. The woman wore tight black pair of jeans with a sleeveless white blouse held around her neck and dipping low enough for Kara to notice the black bra underneath.

Kara's eyes shot up before she lingered longer than what was appropriate, going up to meet green ones that effortlessly stole her breath away. They were forest green, but shone bright whenever the light shone at them. Kara's mouth opened and closed, trying to grasp onto the words she was about to speak, but her mind suffered a short circuit that enjoyed it far too much.

“Ms. Danvers, are you alright?”

Kara suddenly shut her gaped mouth and shook her head defiantly. “Nope. This isn't happening.” she pressed her lips tightly in frustration.

Just my luck! Just my darn annoying luck!

“I beg your Pardon?” the woman raised a perfectly styled eyebrow and Kara had to drag her eyes away from it.

She shook her head more as she shrugged in defiance, “You're way too pretty for me to just hook up with you for one night and not immediately fall in love you.” she blurted out in one go, sighing at her unavoidable dire luck.

“So no. We are not doing this. I'm sorry I dragged you all the way here but this one night stand is not happening. Sorry.” she took a big gulp of whatever the name of her drink was and suddenly noticed a hint of pomegranate in its taste. “Way way too pretty, ” she mumbled to herself, “She expects me to just hook up with her. How do you just hook up with someone that pretty?!”

As much as her mind knew she should probably stop talking and practically begged her to, Kara's mouth just kept going. She turned back to the woman, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, “I mean honestly, you should come with a warning label or something. In your profile picture you were wearing sunglasses. And seriously that shouldn't be allowed. Especially with you having eyes as pretty as those.” she blatantly gestured to the woman's eyes, giving her a ‘duh’ expression.

She rolled her eyes before huffing out, “You shouldn't deceive people like that.” she muttered resentfully, “It's not very nice. You know you could seriously give someone a heart attack with eyes like that.” she turned away. Back to her now empty drink. She played with the thin red straw before sighing loudly, realizing she's not being very fair to someone who had driven all the way here for nothing.

“Anyway. I'm sorry again. I could pay for your cab if you want. Or maybe even drive you home. Actually no I flew here,” Kara's eyes bulged open, “O-onn a bus.”

Nice save.

“I can call you an Uber?” she offered, “I have five other options if those wouldn't work for you. You're a obviously too pretty to take the bus or the subway.” she suddenly gasped, “Not that people who ride the bus or subway aren't pretty! Oh no! I've met loads of pretty people on the bus!” she exclaimed defensively, trying to make sure this stranger believed her when she claimed she didn't find people on buses and subways ugly.

“This one time I met a woman on the subway who was soooo pretty that I missed my stop.”

She nodded, lips pressing in a thin line showing just how serious she was. Her serious expression lasted less than a second before she realized what she had said.

“Not... Not that I was staring at her stalkerishly! No I was very... Well I was very... I just didn't notice my stop because her eyes were distracting.”

She double backed again, “Nothing like your eyes though. Yours are like... Whew!” she chuckled nervously, “If I had to rank them on a scale of one,” she hovered her palm facedown a little below where she sat on the stool, gesturing to where the scale started, “to ten,” she reached up to show where the ten would be, “then your eyes would be...” she panicked when she realized she couldn't go any higher than where her hand was at the ten. She tried stretching her arm but there was only so little solid bones can stretch.

So she did what any sane person would do.

“Hold on.” she muttered as she shifted on the chair until she stood on her knees over the stool. When she reached the highest she could, she frowned, finding it not enough. Her eyes were at least a 100 on the scale. And where her hand reached now was more like a fifty.

On a scale of one to ten that is.

So, once again. She did what any sane person would do.

She stood fully on her stool, wobbling just a bit before balancing herself and reaching the highest she could.

“Your eyes would be here!"

Said eyes had widened immensely at Kara's elaborate display of passion towards demonstrating her ‘one to ten scale’ and where the woman's green eyes ranked.

The shocked woman finally shook herself from her stupor, “Why don't we get you down from there? I'd hate to see anything happen to you because of my eyes.” she braced her arms around Kara's form, prepared to catch the blonde if she so happened to stumble down.

Kara chuckled as she effortlessly flung herself back on the chair sitting down easily, hearing the woman's heart react suddenly in fear at how fast it all happened. “Well, I don't think I would mind going that way.”

The woman, Lena, took a second to gather herself before speaking, “I would. People would start blaming me for taking away your charming personality from this cruel world. I'd rather not have to defend myself.”

Kara had to admit she was somewhat surprised by the banter, not expecting the beautiful brunette to stick around after admitting she had no intention of sleeping with her.

“You seem like you can hold your own.” she replied confidently.

Lena took a step closer, her thigh brushing softly against Kara's knee. Her smile was devious as she spoke, “Well, you wouldn't know now would you, since I'm - How did you phrase it again? - too pretty to hook up with?”

Kara couldn't for the life of her believe her ears. She was flirting! This beautiful woman who Kara had made a complete fool of herself in front of and not to mention rejected was actually flirting with her.

“I'm not wrong. You are too pretty for a hook up. You should be wined and dined and taken on all sorts of cliché dates.” Kara mentioned as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Once again, Lena seemed taken back and had to spend a second staring at Kara before composing herself and speaking once more, “Well, I can't say I've ever been wined and dined and taken on cliché dates before. But a woman's bound to start somewhere, right?” she smiled softly, her eyes sparkling with hope. “Can I buy you a drink?” She asked suddenly.

Kara stared her with a flustered smile, her hand going to fix her glasses, “Umm yeah. Sure I'd... I'd like that. But...” she cringed, not wanting to ask her question but wanting so much to ask her question.

“What?” Lena asked with a worried smile on her lips.

“Well, it's just that I was supposed to hookup with you but then I canceled last minute. And anyone else would be at least frustrated that they came all the way out here for nothing. I'm just wondering...”

Lena leaned closer, thigh now pressing on Kara's knee, “Who said I came all the way here for nothing?” she whispered sultry.

Oh, wow. That voice can probably take away a person's will.

“Umm I...”

Lena took a step back, and Kara almost had to stop herself from reaching out and pulling her back. The confident woman suddenly seemed nervous, clasping her hands together and pressing on her knuckles.

“I've been on many of these one night stands with all sorts of different people.” she finally said before pausing as though not sure whether she should say her next words. “None of them have ever called me pretty. Hot, sexy, yes. Never pretty.” she let out a bitter laugh, “And you managed to make me smile on a day I was frustrated enough to set up a one night stand with a complete stranger just to take out my frustration somehow. So, if you're willing,” she looked down at her clasped hands nervously, “I would you like to take you out. On a proper date.”

Kara froze at her words, eyes widening at the request.

Lena seemed to have misunderstood her shock for rejection, “Of course, you don't ha...”

“Yes!” Kara finally managed to blurt out.

Lena looked at her skeptically, “Are you sure...?”

“Am I sure if I wanna go out on an actual real date with the prettiest woman here? Mhmm. Yup. Definitely sure. Positive. Absolutely a hundred percent on board.” Kara's head kept nodding eagerly, the back of her neck straining with so much force put into her nods.

Lena smiled, amused at Kara's passionate response, “Well, alright then. Shall we? I know a nice restaurant not far from here.”

Kara flew off her stool, placing a few bucks on the counter for her drink and turned with a wide blinding smile.

“Lead the way.”

[pixiesstolemyapples]

Stormy Nights Chapter 9

A/N: This is a repost, it came to my attention that none of my tags were working! So hopefully my tags will work now since I’ve been working hard on this fic for everyone! So I do apologize if you’ve already seen this, I just hope it works this time! If you would like to read this chapter on my FanFiction or my AO3, please click the links! And as always, please enjoy!!

Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9

                Pidge had never felt so happy in her life. She had amazing comrades, she'd traveled to so many far off places, met so many amazing and interesting people. But the best of all was that she got to go to sleep next to the person she loved every night only to wake up every morning wrapped in his loving embrace. She'd been doing that for months, but... it was different now. Everything was different now.

                They loved each other. Actually loved each other. And the rest of the team was finally seeing it in action, in real time. Shiro was still skeptical, Pidge still a little irritated by the comment he had made before, but she chalked it up to the fact that he was just worried for her, like a big brother would be. She knew his comment wasn't meant as a jab at her character, that in the past it was a fact that Lance went for tall, drop dead gorgeous, tall ladies. He apologized to the both of them, giving Lance the benefit of the doubt. After all, he and everyone else knew that Lance was in no way the type to just prey on cute girls.

                As for her actual brother, despite the with your sister remark (which despite its implications, Pidge had to laugh at, come on), Matt was growing on Pidge and Lance, hard. Pidge wasn't sure if he was just happy she had found somebody or that he didn't have to worry about her as much, or if that anybody had to have a special place in his sister's heart, he'd want it to be Lance. All she knew was that Matt actively tried to talk to Lance, ask him questions, hang out with him when he could. Pidge was just happy they were getting along.

                Allura may have been the best out of all of them (or at least second to Hunk). In the week or two since everyone had found out about them, Allura had closed in on Pidge's tailfeathers whenever Lance wasn't around. Allura hadn't had a significant other in more than 10,000 years, but that wasn't about to stop her from having some good old girl talk with the only other girl on the ship, besides her little mouse friend. And now Pidge had a boyfriend, so they could really girl talk. And as much as Pidge thought it would, talking with Allura about those types of things didn't even make her feel awkward. It made her incredibly proud actually that Allura saw so much of a friend in her that she wanted to talk to her about personal matters, day to day topics, or even about a certain paladin residing in the castle. Whatever the case, Pidge was happy to talk, happy to hang out, happy to have as good of a friend as Allura.

                "You know," Hunk said one day as the three of them sat in the common area playing a board game called Knights of Valor, rolling some dice and moving his little yellow knight four spaces, "you two seem a lot happier since you finally started dating."

                Lance and Pidge both looked up, Lance's arm stretched over the back of the couch, Pidge sitting sideways on the couch, leaning into Lance's side. Pidge and Lance looked at each other for a moment.

                "I guess we had never really defined it until now," Pidge confessed, picking up a card and moving her green piece on a space near the lake. Lance just smiled, pressing a quick kiss to the back of her head. "And, I mean... I know I'm happier, why wouldn't I be? Lance is my first boyfriend."

                "Ahhh," Lance mused, laying his head back on the top of the couch, "I gotta say, I love hearing you say boy- wait!" he exclaimed, sitting forward, his head whipping in Pidge's direction. "Did you say first? I'm your first boyfriend?"

                Pidge peered over her glasses, shrugging her shoulders.

                "Soooo," Lance questioned, trying and failing to mask the smile threatening to spread across his face. "Was I your first kiss, then?"

                Pidge looked away, her eyebrows knitting up. "Obviously..." she murmured, a sad look passing over her face. "I wasn't exactly the most popular person at my old school, Lance..." she explained, running her finger along the seam of the couch. "I got made fun of most of the time, there wasn't really anybody who ever liked me enough to want to kiss me..."

                Lance scrunched his eyebrows, looking over at Hunk as he shot him a concerned but sympathetic look. Lance hadn't thought much of it if he were being honest, if only maybe occasionally, and at that it was mostly when Shiro brought it up not long before that. All Lance saw was an incredibly smart, quick witted, funny, badass girl. Plus she was gorgeous, as much as Pidge didn't want to admit it. Lance wished she could see how amazing she was. He loved everything about her; he loved her honey colored hair and the way it tweeked up in random spots; he loved her amber eyes that glittered like a geode in the sun; he loved every single freckle on her body, her person like a detailed star chart of the cosmos; he loved her laugh, like music to his ears, like strums from an acoustic guitar. Someone could ask him to name one thing about her and he'd have a whole list of wonderful things that would read off as an elaborate sonnet. He loved her confidence, but even she faltered at times, especially when she thought of her past. He just wanted everyone else to see what he saw.

                He pulled her into his lap, Pidge gasping at the sudden movement. "I like you enough to kiss you," Lance murmured, giving a look so smolderingly hot that it made Pidge instantly blush. She smiled, gently touching her fingers to his smooth jaw, pulling him close enough for their noses to bump against each other.

                "And I'm so glad you do," she whispered, their lips barely brushing against one another. She felt his arms tighten around her.

                "You really don't know what you do to me," he muttered, lightly closing the gap between them, feeling a fluttering in her chest. Just as she felt Lance deepen the kiss, they heard dice roll, quickly pulling away and looking toward Hunk, who they had nearly forgotten had been sitting next to the coffee table across from them, nonchalantly moving his little yellow knight in one hand, his chin sitting in the other, happily staring up at his two best friends.

                "S-Sorry, Hunk," the two said simultaneously. Hunk laughed, waving his hand as the other laid on his chest.

                "You guys are so gross!! Get a room!!!!" Hunk mocked, the two laughing along with him.

                "But really, I don't want you guys to ever have to worry about that," Hunk said, scrunching his eyebrows in seriousness. "You guys just seem so happy and... well, I'm just so..." Hunk stammered, looking down. Finally crossing his arms on the coffee table, he looked up with a sweet smile. "You're my best friends, and as long as you're happy, I'm happy. So please, just... be as happy as you can be."

                Pidge beamed at Hunk, smiling so wide her eyes crinkled. How in the world did she become so lucky in finding such a fantastic friend in Hunk? He'd been so incredibly supportive in just about everything he did for them, cooking their favorite foods, hanging out with them, laughing and goofing around with them, especially his support as the yellow paladin. He protected and provided such important aid to them, in so many different ways. They surely could not live happily without Hunk.

                "Soooo," Hunk murmured as Lance moved his blue knight around, "I'm right, aren't I?" Lance and Pidge both looked up inquisitively. He side smiled, an almost wise looking expression passing over his face. "You're both way happier since you started dating."

                Pidge blushed, chuckling as she felt Lance plant a hard kiss on her cheek. She leaned into him, curling her fingers into his jacket. Once again, Hunk proved to be incredibly intuitive. "Yeah... we're definitely a lot happier, Hunk."

                After their game was finished, they both bid Hunk good night, the two of them heading down the hall and into their room. Lance was the one who decided that it was their room, no longer just his room. While at times they alternated between her room and his room, the two tended to play video games until they were tired so they would just crawl into his bed. Plus Pidge's room was a hoarding messy trash heap. His words, not Pidge's. Although she couldn't exactly argue with that. But since then, she had a few belongings in his room, some clothes in his drawers. Even her trash floofs found their way over to his room. No, their room. And he'd be lying if he didn't admit that it made his heart pound just thinking about their room.

                Finishing his bathroom regimen, Lance walked out of the bathroom and padded down the hallway. The door whooshed open, Lance walking in and seeing an oblivious Pidge sitting cross-legged on his desk chair, coding on her laptop and humming a song to herself. She had her bangs pinned up on her head, away from her forehead. Seeing her sitting there, one hand on the mouse, the other casually pinching her lip between her finger and her thumb, made his chest swell. There was something so beautifully... domestic about it. Lance almost smiled at how peaceful she was in that moment as he walked into the room, but he stopped in his tracks when his ears registered the song she was humming. His breath stopped short, feeling his heart drop into his stomach. He silently padded up to the chair, gently setting both his hands on its arms, leaning toward her, roughly whispering, "Katie."

                "AAUUGHH!!" Pidge jumped from the chair, nearly dropping her laptop, pressing her hand to her racing heart. "Lance!!" she huffed, setting her laptop on the desk, glaring at him. "You scared me!"

                "Where did you hear that song?" Lance asked, his lips pressed together, his eyes serious as he stared down at Pidge.

                Pidge's eyes got big, her cheeks flushing red. "U-Uh, wha-what?"

                "Where did you hear that song, Pidge?" he asked again, taking a step closer to her.

                Pidge frantically looked for words to say. She hadn't even realized she was humming it! "W-What, so I like Spanish music, is that a crime?"

                "I never said it was a Spanish song," Lance said, crossing his arms. Pidge's face burned a fiercer red, looking down at her toes. "Where'd you hear it, Pidge?"

                Pidge forced her brain to overwork, desperately trying to find an excuse for why she would know that song. Couldn't possibly be because I was snooping around the bathrooms, could it? Maybe? She tugged at her sleep pants, scrunching her eyebrows together in thought.

                "I dunno... I... I must have heard it on a Spanish radio station a couple years ago!" Pidge laughed nervously, stepping past him to get to their bed. Lance sighed, shaking his head and grabbing her wrist.

                "That is impossible, Pidge."

                "What?" Pidge asked incredulously, turning back and peering at him from over her glasses. "How's that?"

                "Because my dad sang that song when he married my mom," Lance said, his eyes softening but his eyebrows knitting together. "My dad wrote that song, I grew up to him singing that all the time to my mom. Where did you hear it, Pidge?" he asked again. He loosened his grip on her wrist, his hand sliding to grasp her fingers. "Please, just tell me?"

                Pidge blanched. His dad wrote that song?? She felt so stupid. She couldn't believe she had been caught in such a bald face lie. She was ashamed. And the look on his face... she felt so hurt in her heart for lying to him like that.

                Pidge sighed, sitting cross legged in the middle of the bed, Lance doing the same, facing her as he waited patiently for an explanation.

                "So..." Pidge began, blushing and looking down at her feet. She peered into his face, his eyes focused intently on her, Pidge looking back down and scrunching her thick eyebrows together. "Well... now I'm embarrassed..."

                "It can't be that embarrassing, Pidge," Lance said. He just wanted to know, it's not like she committed a heinous crime. "Please, just be honest with me."

                Pidge sighed, poking her toes absentmindedly, peering up into his face. His ocean blue eyes were soft, and despite his concern they were calm. His eyes searched her face, finally settling on her own eyes, staring deeply into her. She peered back down, a slight blush dusting her cheeks. He has no business looking that cute.

                She inhaled a breath. ".... You sing in the shower..."

                "What?" Lance said, his face turning red. "What do you mean I- What were you doing sneaking around in the showers?!"

                "I wasn't sneaking around!!" Pidge exclaimed. "I was taking my own shower, and the walls in the bathrooms are amazingly thin.... B-But when I realized you only sang when you thought no one was around, I... I-I," she sighed, "snuck into the opposite showers and would listen to you sing until you were finished..."

                "You were sneaking... So you know I sing in the shower?" he murmured, peering into her eyes sheepishly.

                Pidge nodded. "I'm sorry.. but I just loved hearing you sing, and that one particular song was just so beautiful and I didn't understand what it meant, but I just felt like it was so loving and romantic that-" Lance's stomach dropped, an intense feeling ripping right through him.

                Lance pulled her by her ankles flush into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and smashing his lips to hers, a surprised "oomf!" escaping her throat. It was such a quick movement, Pidge barely registered what was happening. His lips moved swiftly against hers, a fervent desire heavy between the two as her ankles hooked around his back. Pidge wrapped her arms tight around Lance's neck, Lance moving his head to get a new angle on her lips. She shivered as his tongue touched hers, threading her fingers through his chocolate hair to deepen the kiss further. She gasped, feeling the touch of his warm fingers touch the skin under her shirt, pushing it up and feeling the cool air hit her exposed skin. The two fell back against the mattress, Lance peeling his lips from Pidge's, pressing quick kisses to the corner of her mouth, her cheek, her jaw, finding a spot behind her ear, pressing his lips firmly against her skin. Pidge quickly inhaled a shaky breath, biting her lip at the sensation. His hands moved further up her waist under her shirt as his mouth met her lips once more, her shirt riding along all the way up her chest, Pidge feeling her breasts flush against his soft sleep shirt. She shuddered, murmuring incoherently against his mouth. Lance's eyelids fluttered at her quiet sound, suddenly breaking apart from her, sitting up and backing away toward the end of the bed.

                "Shit, Pidge!!" he exclaimed, covering his eyes so fast with his hand Pidge could hear his hand slap against his face. "I-I-I'm so sorry!! I dunno what came over me!"

                Pidge quietly sat up, peering his way as a blush crept its way onto her cheeks. "I-It's okay, Lance," she whispered as she pulled her shirt properly back down her waist. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed what just happened. It was a different feeling, one that wasn't exactly unpleasant in any way. Pidge looked his way, seeing that his hand was still over his beet red face. She giggled, gently removing his hand from his face and holding it on the bed between them. "Are you okay?"

                "I-I'm fine," he said with a chuckle. "I just think, I think that... hearing you hum that song, saying that it was beautiful and romantic, I... I just had such a reaction to it, and just thinking about what it means to my mom and dad, and that someda-" Lance stopped short, his eyes getting big, forcing himself to stop what he was about to say. He began to nervously laugh. "Never mind. I'm just... I'm sorry, Pidge."

                Pidge's pupils dilated, her heart beating so hard in her chest she thought it may explode, millions of butterflies fluttering around her stomach. She smiled a genuine, soft, loving smile. "Don't be sorry," she whispered, moving toward him to plant a short kiss on his lips. He took her face in his hands.

                "I love you, Katie..." he murmured as he laid them back down once more into the soft mattress. Pidge snuggled close to his side, feeling one of his arms hook around her waist, pulling her closer. She sighed, relaxing as she closed her eyes. That's when she heard him. His lilting voice gently pierced her ears with his soft, deep Spanish words, digging deep into her chest as she felt her heart beat harder and harder with every rolled R. She couldn't understand most of the words, but she could at least understand mi amor, or estoy enamorado... Te necesito...

            ��   "Te amo, Lance," she roughly whispered, hearing him stop for just a moment to softly laugh and press a heartfelt kiss to her head. She curled her fingers into his shirt as his intense, melodic voice began again, lulling her off into an incredibly happy and comforting sleep.

***

                The distress signal sounded off, Allura and Coran quickly heading to the main deck to retrieve it. Coran projected the call up onto the big screen in the back of the room, a light blue woman with ears like a fox and the teeth of a boar appearing in front of them, her piercing yellow eyes in deep panic.

                "Paladins of Voltron!" she gruff, high pitched voice exclaimed over the monitor, a boom startling her from behind, her breathing fast and labored. "W-We need your help! Our base is being attacked by a small Galran fleet, b-but we are outnumbered!! At this rate, our base will be destroyed!"

                "Vremni!!" Pidge called out, barreling onto the main deck, concern washing over her face. "What's going on, where's Matt? Can you send your coordinates?"

                "Matt is currently away on a mission, Pidge, he's fine!" Vremni said, another loud boom sounding behind her. "I have no idea how we got located all the way out here, b-but there's nothing we can do now! Sending coordinates! Please get here as quickly as you ca-" The transmission cut off, the screen going blank.

                "Team, get to your Lions!" called Shiro. The team quickly left for the Lions' hangars, changing into their paladin gear before boarding. "This is an incredibly important mission. It is imperative that we all stay focused if we are to keep this rebel base intact and more importantly, save the rebels currently in that base."

                Coran set a course for the coordinates sent by Vremni, everyone quickly traveling through the wormhole. They weren't expecting such a battle going on, even for a small rebel base such as this, quite a few of the rebel forces already fighting for their lives. Allura used her Lion to encase parts of smaller Galra ships, Hunk using his cannon to blast those pieces to smithereens, almost completely incapacitating those ships.

                Pidge was firing her laser, encompassing an enemy ship in vines when she received a fuzzy but operational transmission, a disheveled red faced rebel with silver scratches on his face and orange eyes appearing before her.

                "Mukdack, what is your status?" Pidge asked frantically, hoping that the rebels were going to get out of this okay. But the look on his face said otherwise. His thick accented voice was panicked, but otherwise understandable.

                "W-W-We are fine for now, Pidgeon," he said, her name coming out as pidge-ee-in, " but we may not be for long. Our shields are down, and our only engineers are currently incapacitated!"

                Pidge nodded. "Okay, listen to me, Mukdack," she said quickly, "I'm coming to help, I need you to get the rest of the rebels on base to your pods and get out of there for now. You hear me?"

                "Loud and clear, Pidgeon!! Please stay alert!" And with that, the transmission ended. Pidge switched her comm.

                "Allura, Lance!" Pidge called, the two sounding off immediately. "I need you two to cover me until I can get into the base. If I can fix the shielding system, we may be able to hold the Galra off and keep this base from being destroyed.

                "All right!"

                "You got it!!" she heard the two of them say simultaneously.

                She guided Green quickly down toward the base, Lance's face suddenly appearing on her monitor. He smiled a fierce smile, but one that had a look of underlying concern and worry. "You be careful, Katie," he said gently. "You got that?"

                "Heh, you got it, Sharpshooter," she mused, giving him a cute wink.

                Lance snickered, smugly licking between his lips. "Hey, you come back safely, I'll show you why they call me Loverboy-"

                "LANCE!" Hunk appeared on the screen, his face blanching, Lance nearly rolling with laughter and Pidge giggling with her hand up to her mouth, a soft blush covering her face.

                "Guys, can you please focus?" Shiro suddenly growled, Pidge swearing she could him muttering "nasty freakin' teenagers" under his breath.

                Pidge got serious, landing Green in the hangar, stepping out quickly, periodically looking down at the map projecting from her arm communicator and heading toward the base's circuit breakers on the middle floor. She slid into the tight space, immediately touching her fingers to the screens, quickly finding the shields page and desperately trying to work her technological magic. The further she went into the process of fixing the shielding system, the more she realized something was incredibly wrong. The shielding system was offline, not only that, the coding for the system was also completely off. Could it have been a weird malfunction? Pidge thought to herself. Nevertheless, despite the anxious feeling in her chest, she pressed on, recoding the system as quickly as she could. Just one last code and-

                Pidge's heart sank. Her skin crawled. Her face grew pale, her eyes growing wide. She shakily brought her arm up, her fingers trembling as she pressed the buttons on her communicator.

                "M-M-M-Mukdack...." she murmured, her teeth chattering. "H-Has everyone b-been evacuated?"

                "Yes, Ma'am, Pidgeon!!" Mukdack quickly replied. "Is everything okay? Pidgeon?"

                Pidge sank to her knees, her chest so heavy, her stomach so nauseous she thought she may vomit. She had only just realized then that her hearing was muffled when she suddenly heard a loud voice in her ear.

                "PIDGE!" a loud voice rang frantically.

                "Y... Yes...?" she murmured.

                "What is going on??!" Lance shouted. Pidge stared back in front of her, her shoulders trembling, her fingers feeling cold.

                A countdown. The shielding system had been sabotaged. The rebels must have been infiltrated or had a traitor or something, Pidge didn't know. All she knew is that the enemy would have known Voltron would show up to a distress signal, and that one of them would go in to help if they took out the remaining engineers of the base. And there was nothing she could do to stop it.

                Pidge hadn't even heard herself explaining the situation to Lance, but she suddenly heard him screaming at her to get out of there. Pidge blinked, looking back at the clock. Roughly two doboshes. Pidge willed her legs to move beneath her. She ran. And she ran and ran, but only one thought pierced her mind with every long stride her short legs could carry her.

                I'll never make it.

                "L-L-Lance..." she said breathlessly, still running as fast as she could despite the feeling of dread spreading throughout her body. "Lance, I-I-"

                "Pidge, no. Just get out of there, Pidge, get out of there," she heard his frantic voice tremble.

                "Lance!" Pidge cried, tears streaming down her face. "I-I-I love you so much."

                "No.. No, Katie, don't say that, don't-!"

                With every stride she took, she could see her life flashing before her eyes, her small hands holding her dad's finger; playing with her dog; her mom's peanut butter cookies; sitting next to Matt reading a book; her time at the Galaxy Garrison; laughing with Keith and Hunk; hugging Allura; the first time her and Lance kissed; telling him she loved him. Pidge bit her trembling lip, closing her eyes.

               "Katie!! Katie! Answer m-" Lance screamed, tears pouring down his face as he raced his Lion toward the rebel base, orange, red and yellow flashing as the base exploded before his very eyes.

[irregodless]

spoilers for all of erased esp the ending below

so i dont care that he doesnt end up with kayo or airi. i dont think him saving her entitles him to be in a relationship with her

i do feel like airi was way too forced in the end and it was uncomfortable but not bad

i was also hoping to see more from yuuki since he got to NOT spend two decades rotting in prison

heres the thing though

lets start with satoru. the endings not happy and generally thats okay. better than the world he left and not everything has to have a good ending

but him saving his friends resulted in his mom losing all those years of her life looking after him. mentally and emotionally tormented. better than being dead i guess but i cant feel content with that for her

and while he retains the memories and stuff of 29 years he doesnt have any like. physical component. stuff you drew? friends you made? gone

we see he didnt have much going on in the old world but its not like he had NOTHING

but okay okay okay tragic endings are valid so lets continue

what was up with kenya just not being explored. he was privy to satorus nonsense and what about his meeting with yashiro??? it seemed menacing

but yashiro lets talk about yashiro can we talk about yashiro im dying to talk about yashiro

he dont make sense

he kills based on who he sees with the spiders thread right

which he explains and he explains the story and his versions details are important because ive heard versions that vary slightly

sinner in hell committed a single good deed in life, he saved a spider. so buddha extends a single spiders thread to climb out of hell and into heaven but other sinners start climbing behind him. he kicks them off but the struggle causes it to snap and he falls back into hell

so the thread represents something

in the story it was the single good deed. he could get into heaven based on that deed. so does it mean his victims were sinners with only a single redeeming trait? were they sinners who belonged in heaven but were stuck in hell? none of them make sense for his victims

is it related to how he said good and bad deeds are the same that he never elaborates on? he killed kayo to save her from being abused so is that him sending her to heaven? what about the others?

i get the thread isnt real but it IS thematic which means it MUST have purpose

speaking of what about the spider web showing they were all connected

moving on

satorus like i feel no hatred for you

BITCH WHY HE KILLED PEOPLE

he didnt kill those THREE *THIS TIME* BUT YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA

he was obviously the person who killed people in the other cities! he still killed children! lonely children! mostly little girls! and framed people! and you ARENT MAD AT HIM?????? i could understand if it was like

yeah i dont hate you but i do pity you for being such a pathetic son of a bitch

he didnt kill people for 15 years and suffered during it waiting but who the fuck cares

also howd satoru get out and if yashiro stole the car on the spot howd he know the buckle wouldnt come undone

and then the thread above him snaps and what does THAT mean

according to the story being stuck in hell

thematically having to stay on earth

then why does he look ELATED

does it mean he no longer has the urge to kill

it dont work like that he literally killed animals as a kid

we wont talk about spice the hamster i have thoughts but we wont discuss spice

so what if he doesnt want to kill anymore he totally killed the other kids

and if he didnt WHY BRING UP NEIGHBORING ABDUCTIONSSSSSSSSS

he get sent to prison for attempted murder

HUH

i just looked it up and one case of attempted murder around the time period got 12 years

thats not even as long as yuuki spent in prison

THATS NOT EVEN AS LONG AS SATORU WAS IN A COMA

this bitch killed soooo many people

btw he did not like 50/60 when satorus mom stopped him from kidnapping that girl

he killed soooo many people and im supposed to be satisfied that he only gets like a decade in jail?

why? because PRESUMABLY BUT NOT CONFIRMED he doesnt wanna kill people anymore?

fuck you

if satoru was like this isnt ideal but its SOMETHING id get it

but why are we treating this like its a big win

i hate to say it but life is strange handled the ending better

im not saying satoru should have gone back outted yashiro and made the future perfect

but like

okay so chloe and her gf still had to die the universe wanted chloe dead and rachel was already dead

mr professor man still did bad shit but he was put away in proportion for his crimes i feel

losing chloe was maxs payment for exacting justice

satoru just lost like

15 years of his life

which does put him at 3 years younger than when the story started btw

but that seems like more of his moms problem than his

not to say disabled people are a burden but he literally says it passed in an instant for him

she lost her job and devoted all her time to taking care of him

she looked soooo tired!!!!!! she was spry the whole series but this wore her the fuck down! why does the witch have to pay! for getting to live? kayo had a great life! not sure i get why she married that guy in particular but like good for her!

why does yashiro get to basically get away with almost no consequences!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!

[mercurytrinemoon]

On synastry and how to approach it

If you follow me you may have noticed few of my posts where I'm fixating on the fact that I don't know a certain person's birth date. And I said I'm sensing a nice Venus-Mars connection and honestly now that I think about it, I feel like Jupiter is heavily underlined in here as well. So that made me think of synastry a lot (not that I don't think about it on daily basis) and it made me want to elaborate a bit. Also because I see this weird approach where people single out certain aspects and turn them into "make it or break it" kind of deal and that is just wrong.

Actually it's similar with natal charts. The difference here is obvious - you have two individuals which means double the options in which way the energy may go and more potential for aspects to cancel each other out. So while natal interpretations of, for example, planets in the houses will resonate with you, all the black and white interpretations of synastry house overlays belong in the dumpster imho. And I knooow, I knoooow, one of my first posts was about house overlays. It was very generalized one and I did disclaim to take the entire chart into consideration. But sometimes I see these descriptions where people say "oh my god Venus in the 8th house! This is highly sexual aspect!" But what if none of the people have their Mars nor Venus activated, maybe except for a Venus-Saturn square that puts a big dump on the whole thing. Also, this may as well indicate taking care of shared resources (because that's one of the main themes of the 8th). Besides - and that's my personal take - overlays are less important than aspects between planets unless a) you’re putting a stellium in someone’s house b) it's about angles, because having the same planet as someone's ascendant is a big thing and I can guarantee you that most of the people you create bonds with will have that configuration with you.

Speaking of which, the type of people you attract is highly dependant on your chart. Angles are important but so are aspects and planet placements. I'll give you an example based on my own natal chart, because, obviously, I know myself well and I pay attention to charts of the people I come in contact with. As an Aquarius rising, I attract a lot of Aqua personal planets, Leo risings and people with personal planets in Leo - surprisingly not a single Leo Sun. As a Sagittarius dominant person, most of my friends are Gemini Moons or Sag Moons. Surprisingly I only befriended one Gemini Sun in my life + my belowed dog who was a Gemini. My Aries Moon makes me weak for Aries Suns. Sun is opposite Mars (5th house) - it, again, points to Aries (and Scorpios as well). Dominant fire element and Aries in the 3rd (easy communication) helps here a lot. Having Sagittarius in the 11th (house of friends) and Jupiter in the 7th (house of partnerships), I tend to be friends with other Sadges BUT that Jupiter in the 7th makes me very attracted to Pisces as well. So DO take classic rulership into consideration!

That leads me to another point - modalities. I have a lot of mutable energy so I love other mutable energies. SQUARES omg, especially in romantic/sexual relationships. They do bring tension but hear me out. You need trines and sextiles but squares bring spice. I can guarantee you that having a flowing Mars-Venus contact will give you a pleasant feelings for one another, easiness in communication and a natural synchronicity, but it's the square that will make you wanna rip each other's clothes off. Soooo... I mean, whichever you prefer I guess. Squares are also stimulating, with trines the energy flows nicely, squares bring interest... it's a different element, but the same modality... a perfect mix to make you drawn to the other person. It's similar yet intriguing. Another example, as a Sag Venus my tastes concerning arts and music should clash with a Pisces Venus - that’s what a textbook definition will tell you - but surprise, surprise, half of my favourite artists have Venus in Pisces.

Now with oppositions it's a completely different thing. I think they work wonderful when there are yin-yang planets involved. As I mentioned earlier, as a Sagittarius Sun I love Gemini Moons. They compliment each other. The thing is, with opposites you either get each other or you just pass each other. So it fluctuates. I've noticed that especially when there's the same planet involved. Two people having Mercury opposition will get each other so well they will finish each other's sentences one day and then completely miss the mark the next. Like two vehicles driving in opposite directions.

Trines aren't 100% amaaaazing. I know many people who, like me, have inner planets in fire signs and our values, ways of thinking and approach to certain issues are completely different. We do express them in the same manner though, which is by being loud lol. Trines also bring laziness so if you have too many of them the relationship may just fizzle out. Sextiles on the other hand are so underappreciated. Air fuels fire and water nourishes the earth - it’s way more interesting than a trine where both signs are in the same element, imho. Some astrologers will tell you sextiles are "weaker" but that's just stupid. They’re just as important, okay?  

Sometimes you don't even have to have an actual aspect. Whoa, I know, mind-blown. But I see that constantly. Obviously having planets in a tight aspects is very important but let's say you have Aquarius Venus at 5° and the other person has Sun in Aqua at 20°. They don't make an aspect but it's the same sign, therefore you're going to express these energies in the same manner - which makes you compatible (tho I don't like that word). Now the smaller the orb, the more significant the aspect is. I've read somewhere that the aspect with the tightest orb kind of represents the theme of the relationship - I haven't been able to really analyze this theory tho. When it comes to orbs overall, Alexander Von Pronay is suggesting to use aspects up to 7°. I'd do that and then look at aspects under 2° to really see which energies are stronger. Liz Greene said that if you're feeling an aspect, even if the orb is wider, well, you're feeling it and it's there. I suspect it may depend on what energies you're sensitive to. If, for example, your chart ruler is Venus, you may feel Venus aspects more. And then with Uranus, Neptune and Pluto I'd say up to 2°.  

What's actually awesome are so called double whammies. It's when the same two planets are aspected both ways. So A person's Sun is trining B's Venus and B's Venus is sextile A's Sun. Or A's Moon is conjunct B's Sun and B's Sun is opposite A's Moon. I like double whammies cause they provide mutuality. People often ask "wHo FeeLs iT mORe????". First of all, there's no clear answer to that because everyone's different and their charts are different and some respond to the energy one way and some, other. That's why I like to ask people: well, how do YOU feel about that aspect (if you, of course, know astrology well enough to pinpoint the energy). But with double whammies you basically exchange the same aspect so, hopefully, in 99%, it will be mutual.

What I also love is having the same aspect natally. Let's say you have a Mars-Mercury trine natally and the other person has it conjoined. That is awesome. It's like going through the same experiences in life and going "yeah! I went through that too! I understand!" Better yet if then those planets also make an aspect in the synastry chart. It's great. You're going to vibe so much.

About mutuality... A few weeks ago I was watching a livestream from Nina and Shaina from Party Trick Astrology (love those girls) and they were talking about synastry so I asked them a question related to these things cause, you know, I bet they've seen hundreds of charts and I'm always curious about other people's observations. So I asked about mutuality and one of them gave an example of a girl whose Venus was beautifully aspected by a guy and the guy's Venus not being aspected at all. And how this, for example, pointed to the guy being into the girl but not vice versa. And I thought that's interesting because I'd assume it would be the other way around. Her planets didn't activate his Venus so he shouldn't be into her romantically. And I actually experienced that myself one time. I had this Aqua friend and had literally zero aspects to my Venus. Not even a semi-sextile, not even a quincunx, not even a wide generational planet connection. And I didn't see him through these romantic lens. So I guess there are no rules to this. OR it’s all about projection (which btw happens a lot in astrology). That's why I like to look at synastry charts and just get the overall vibe. 

Now with that being said, the shocker. YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE ASPECTS WITH THE OTHER PERSON AT ALL. I know, a bummer. Here we, astrology junkies, are in the lookout for the perfect synastry chart but as I look at charts of celebrity couples I often see them having no Sun connections, no Venus or Mars connections, lame Moon aspects etc. That is indeed disappointing. That's why I was so stoked about that Britney-Justin synastry. Because I don't see connections like that one between all the "it” couples of today.

So I guess... astrology is bullshit... Nah, just kidding. But it is complex. Sometimes it’s quality over quantity. And you should approach synastry as a whole, just feel it out, you know? And I’ll leave you with that for today because it’s getting long.

[unpickingthetangles]

Influence Tag Game

I was tagged by the wonderful @fatal-blow!! Thank you so much for giving me a platform to be this pretentious! I am deeply ashamed of myself, ahaha!!! This turned out SOOOO LONG so I am going to link to the summary of Hadrian. 

Rules: Give a short summary of your WIP, name seven sources of influence on your story, and tag seven people.

Hadrian the Scholar summary. 

There are probably a billion mistakes in this. I didn’t proofread it because I am running late for work. FORGIVE ME. 

1.  When I was 18 I got an amazing opportunity to stay with my sister in Beijing for over four months. I didn’t speak a word of Chinese or Mandarin and I was still a ridiculous teenager. I had been sheltered as a kid; the farthest I had gone outside of the US was to Niagara Falls (which doesn’t really count, right?) I went from a spacious farmhouse to an apartment no bigger than a college dorm room that I shared with my sister, my brother-in-law, and my five year old nephew. I was able to experience another culture and a people so foreign to me that I had to adjust my whole way of thinking. Best part, it was at a very influential age, so many of these new feelings stuck to me like glue. I remember going to a wedding, walking through the city at 2am, climbing parts of the Great Wall that hadn’t been reconstructed.

Oh, let me tell you the moment that really got to me. We were stay at this little freckle of a village, very small, very old. It was settled in a green valley and the Great Wall wrapped around the hills everywhere you look. My sister and I followed this trail into the mountains and came to the wall, where local men were working on keeping it standing. I sat down with a very old man and he gave me a popsicle, drew a map of the US in the loose dirt, and gestured to it. He was asking “where are you from”. And somehow over about a half an hour, I talked to this old man without speech, sharing a moment of connection over a popsicle, with this grand old structure that will outlive us both in the background. This had to be one of the most profound moments of my life, really. It was my sister (for all her many, many faults) that suggested that I write. She liked the way I used language and the way I saw Beijing. That trip has been extremely influential to me.

That’s the wall on the mountain back there! 

2.  I also believe the concept of ‘J.K. Rowling Revisionism’ has played a huge part in how the story’s characters have greatly evolved. Despite how you might feel on the subject, I have taken the concept of it and used it to be more inclusive with my characters. I remember seeing a post on Tumblr years ago that was said, ‘What? Did Dumbledore have to be staking around Hogwarts in a rainbow flag for you? Did he need to be playing house music and raving the whole time?’ and it listed about a dozen more egregious gay stereotypes. As a queer person I was so insulted by that. It clicked for me that ‘it takes a single throwaway line to help identify a character as (x)’. I didn’t want to play it safe anymore. I didn’t want to write ‘subtext’ and instead was compelled to make it fully ‘text’. If I wanted to read about queer people in love, I should have the wherewithal to write it myself. But I also had to think of other people who needed representation as well. I know this is more of a popular discussion today, but five years ago it was rather new, and it changed the way I write.

(Let me be specific here: Lissy and I have had numerous conversations about Rowling Revisionism and if it was (broadly considering) ‘Fair’ to criticize her for it. It is an extremely complex conversation concerning the long-lasting effects of representation or lack thereof, in my opinion. That is why I am using the word ‘concept’ here, as in it should be more of a literary discussion had by creators and not a polarizing debate set in simple black and white tones. (looking forward to the many anons I get about how it isn’t black and white.))

3.  It is my belief that strong, believable characters far outweigh the plot or premise of a story. While the latter two are important, it is the characters that the reader is going to attach themselves to. A writer must introduce the idea of them as complex people in the world to get that special relationship the reader has with specific characters. The first thing I ask when I hand off my book to a beta is, “Who is your favorite character?” and I’ve gotten a different answer every time. That is a phenomenal thing! I am proud of that. When you look around fandoms, the fans are not drooling over the plots, they are defending characters and championing their causes.

With that being said, I’d say a major influence is in characters in media that made me rethink how I should approach writing characters. One of those would be the movie 12 Angry Men. If you haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend it. This movie changed my goddamn life. Every single time I watch this movie, I find something new, something I missed the last 20 times I watched it. Hell, I watched it with Lissy once and she pointed out something so huge that I missed it. (ps. Still mad about that baby. How dare you be so clever?)

So how did that happen in a single-room mystery with 12 characters, none of which have names (save two at the very, very end) hit me so hard? How did this movie sink into me so deeply when it is mostly dialogue? I asked myself this over and over again. The answer is in the characters! At 1:10 into the film you are given a wide shot of the whole cast, a judge lazily prattling off his lines. Then the camera pans over the 12 Jurors: you see who is fidgeting, who is paying attention. Juror #5 looks off reflective of his decision to condemn a man to death, Juror #3 looks angry – why is he so angry? These are details that breathe an ever-expanding life into their characters. This whole cast is amazing, with Henry Fonda as #8 and Lee J. Cobb as #3. You know everything you need to know about them, without much backstory at all, without any grand declarations of their motivations. Hugely influential to me. It taught me that every character I write needs a strong introduction. If they are a weasel, they should be introduced as a weasel. If they are goodhearted, show an act of kindness. Hell, the first thing Hadrian does is show up at a funeral to mock the corpse. When he is introduced to Douglas’ character, he is dressed as a trickster god for a party. That tells you so much about him without putting exacting words to it.  

4.  While I had the meat of Hadrian the Scholar already planned out, it wasn’t until I read the works of KJ Charles that I really felt that I could be a writer and do it well. See, I’ve always been fond of those beautiful illusions like “my love for him was like a vein of gold in marble” (that’s from A Gentlemen’s Guide to Vice and Virtue, by-in-by). But I had no talent to write such pretty pretty words, not unless I work very hard at it, and even then it’s clumsy. KJ Charles doesn’t write in such a way. But what she does have is fantastic characters that react to situations in believable ways. She won’t be caught writing a character that doesn’t have his share of faults. As much as I loved A Gentle’s Guide because it is written in a style that I admire and love, it is Seditious Affair by KJ Charles that I reread the most. That’s because when I finished that book, I found that I missed the characters. It is also incidentally about two people who should be enemies because of their politics, yet they fall in love and fight for their partner’s beliefs, because they are important to their love. This basically sums it up. It really helped me think about Hadrian and Douglas’ relationship. Bless this author, seriously.

5. Waking Life is an indie film that is an interesting watch, though to me it hasn’t aged very well. However, it is this one brief segment that stuck with me most. Here is the full transcript:

Creation seems to come out of imperfection. It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration. And this is where I think language came from. I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation and have some sort of connection with one another. And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival. Like, you know, "water." We came up with a sound for that. Or "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." We came up with a sound for that. But when it gets really interesting, I think, is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing. What is, like, frustration? Or what is anger or love? When I say "love," the sound comes out of my mouth and it hits the other person's ear, travels through this Byzantine conduit in their brain, you know, through their memories of love or lack of love, and they register what I'm saying and they say yes, they understand. But how do I know they understand? Because words are inert. They're just symbols. They're dead, you know? And so much of our experience is intangible. So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable. And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another, and we feel that we've connected, and we think that we're understood, I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion. And that feeling might be transient, but I think it's what we live for.

It made me think about how language is used when it is applied to complex thoughts and ideas. I took a lot of what she says about language and tried to absorb it, pick it apart, and elaborate on with my own works. What I am doing when I am writing is a grand act of translation. How can I translate my own experiences with grief onto this scene, onto these characters? How can I best write love? Or anger? How can I tell a believable story of one character’s decades of emotional abuse? I am using my own life as this huge canvas of events and painting over it with different faces, different places, different heartbeats. And then I take that canvas and show it so someone else, who then will in turn see something entirely new. Language is inert! What a concept! Complex ideas must be first translated! This is a fantastic summary of how I view writing.

6. The painting In Bed, the Kiss, by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. 

What a gorgeous painting, showing such an intimate moment between two people. It’s invocative of a full, well-loved life shared in love. It becomes even more powerful to me when I remember that it is widely believed that Toulouse-Lautrec only had relations with prostitutes. He had a life of health problems, having broken both is legs that did not heal properly, he was also abnormally short. Because he couldn’t participate in sporting like his friends, he turned to painting. It was a life of indifference and difficultly. Yet, he made one of my favorite paintings for its depiction of the serenity that comes with intimacy.

In the same vein, it is believed that Van Gogh was colorblind. He created some of the most recognizable paintings in the world while he was mired in depression and lonesomeness. Monet’s distinct style towards the end of his career is believed to be caused by cataracts. So much of the beauty in the world has been brought to us because of friction, tension, pain, anger, grief, depression, illness, isolation--- all the things that are believed to make the world ugly place. And yet, it was these artist’s ‘impediments’ that made their work powerful--- unique. All of creation is frustration, as said above. I believe that’s true, and it is something I think of while I write. I’m dyslexic, I make many mistakes, my relationship with language is a weird one, but I never forget that it may be the one thing that sets my writing apart. Through the struggle, I will create. My sense of humor? Because of my shitty childhood. My characters? Because for most of my life I wanted to be someone else. My writing style? Because of a reading ‘disability’. Creation is in conflict! That’s some inspirational shit right there.

7.  Aaaand… Muppet Treasure Island.

Let’s see.. 

I will tag @queerloveandspaceships, @coveofmadness, @drderange and anyone else who wants to do it! I am sorry I am so fried after all of this.