#I have so many starconches

[mythicamagic]

Xiaolumi Week Day One: Magpie. Chapter One.

Summary: Xiao has been acting strange- bringing back all kinds of pretty things to his room. Jewellery, nick-nacks and fine silks. After seeking out advice for this behaviour, Lumine comes to learn that her adeptus lover is...nesting.

Rated E for eventual smut. Read the whole thing on Ao3 soon: here

AN: For Xiaolumi Week 2024! I wanted to write a new oneshot everyday for it but didn't have the time after my assignments, so I've decided to break down this story into smaller chunks and just post a chapter every day for the ship week.

Todays theme was either First Encounters or First Time - and though this fic will include smut later it won't be for a few chapters, so I picked 'first time' but changed the meaning a little here. Enjoy!

----

Chapter One

Xiao had been acting somewhat…odd, recently.

Not that a little weirdness was a bad thing, Lumine mused. Especially for someone like Xiao, with his sense of duty enforcing strict daily patrols- newness was usually a good and unexpected happiness in his life.

But that didn't make this any less baffling. Lumine sat atop Xiao's bed, or rather, what resembled his bed at Wangshu Inn. During the past week, he'd been changing it from its usual style:

The bedding was now comically fluffed up with comforters and excess pillows like a stowaway sumpter beast was hiding underneath the covers. He'd been adding so many blankets and covers it was any wonder they could both climb into it at all.

That was just the start though. Next, he'd begun adding random things to the walls and rafters, leaving and returning with new hoards each day. Silk scarves and gossamer drapes wrapped around his bed posts. Trinkets he'd usually never care for were abundant. Tiny glass figurines, starconches, ore stones, fresh qingxin flowers and jewellery littered the nightstand and windows. They glittered in the sunlight, casting pretty hues.

During it all, Xiao added everything with quick, agitated movements. He'd occasionally stop and look at his handiwork, before tucking more filling under the bed or adjusting the drapes.

"This Spring cleaning session has been going on for a little while now, hm?" Lumine smiled. She'd tried gently asking about it before, but he always brushed her off.

"Almost done…I think," Xiao muttered distractedly. He didn't look at her, focusing solely on the bed. "No, there’s still something missing…"

Lumine's brows pulled together. She reached out and caught his face in her hands. "Xiao, look at me."

She waited until his murky gaze connected with hers, offering a concerned smile. "I think it's great you're interested in something new like this for the first time. Decorating is a really fun hobby- but you're kind of worrying me. You seem distracted, almost like you’re losing sleep over it. Anything you want to talk about?"

Xiao took a shaky breath. His skin felt hot and clammy under her touch. He reached for her, only to gently grasp her wrists. He kissed her outstretched fingers in parting as he pulled away and created distance between them.

"I'm fine. Don't be concerned."

Lumine frowned.

He took one look at her expression and faltered, clearing his throat.

"That is to say, this is just something I feel like I need to do. I'm not entirely sure why. It's as though there's an itch in the back of my skull," he uttered thinly, gazing at the room again as if he couldn't bear to stop looking at it, searching for something inexplicable. Luminous golden eyes then swung to her unexpectedly- striking her like a lance. Intense. Hungry.

"And I can't add to the room unless you're here. It's not right until you're with me. On our bed."

Her heart skipped a beat and picked up the tempo until it pounded. Xiao was usually so logical. Curt and no nonsense. The only time she glimpsed a more feral nature, befitting of a Yaksha was in the field fighting monsters. This was no fight or flight response though- there was an unfamiliar quality about how he was holding himself: looking at her. All coiled tight, tense muscles at the ready.

Why was he looking at her like that?

Heat rose to her cheeks. It was Lumine's turn to look away and distractedly gaze around the room. “Right. Okay. Well, if that's the case, and you really feel you need to- then sure, keep going! But can I help too?”

“You want to…help me build it?” he rasped, eyes widening.

Build it?

She nodded slowly, not sure what she was agreeing to but wanting to be useful. "Sure, of course. Always happy to lend a hand."

A shudder went through him like he'd been afflicted with electro. Xiao closed his eyes, breathing deeply as his chest heaved. Lumine quickly stood from the bed. “Xiao? Are you alright?”

He held up a palm to signal she stay back, panting softly and bowing his head. Inky dark hair obscured his expression- but his ears betrayed him, holding a faint red tinge.

Lumine felt her own blush return with a vengeance. Had she said something strange?

“I'll…see you later. Just add whatever you want to the room-” was all he said, disappearing shortly after in a plume of dark matter.

[358jours]

Tartaglia x GN!Reader⎢Starconches by the seashore

Word Count⎢1782

Genre/Tags⎢SFW, fluff, so much fluff you’ll die of sugar overdose, beach date, sunset, Tartaglia is a show-off⎢Crossposted on AO3

Originally, you would have been on your own. Originally, you had planned to make a short one-day trip to the shore east of the Sea of Clouds, the one facing the Guyun Stone Forest. Originally, you had brought a polearm with you because it’s the only weapon you know how to handle. Originally, you were just there to get starconches. Originally, you were supposed to be back in Liyue Harbor right at sunset. 

Originally, you’d have been on your own, lost to your thoughts and empty of any feelings.

That changed when you saw him right at the city gate, until he saw you at the city gate. One wave, a hello, the start of a conversation, “Where are you going dressed like that? I’m free today so let me assist you.”, that’s how little it took for your plans to shift.

It’s not like you feel bad over it, it’s not like it was some incident you were trying to avoid, not at all. It simply happened, as most of your interactions with Tartaglia did. 

His public name is Childe, but you’re not too fond of it somehow. You know Tartaglia is not his true name either. However it feels slightly more personal as only you and the fatui address him this way. That name rolls off your tongue more easily, the g silent. Still; it’s one syllable too long, a sound too hard to pronounce for your liking. So you’ve made it your own, shortened it. ‘Taglia, pronounced ‘Talia. It’s much cuter and easy to say, as all things should be. It’s sweet too– just a bit of mundane to water down his turbulent life for a few seconds whenever you call out to him. 

The first time, he simply laughed at how unaffected you were by his status. Now, he gets worried when you address him as anything else. Maybe he has grown fond of it just as you have. Maybe he has come to understand you better too. 

You removed your shoes and socks where sand overtook soil and only weeds survived, down the hill under the archway of a large cliff. Contentment filled your chest once you noticed your companion took his off as well. Originally, it was supposed to rain and you would be on your own. Yet here you are, both barefoot. With him by your side, the sun high in the sky shining down and no clouds on the horizon– you only feel warmth. 

The sand here is dense and wet, but it still sinks under your weight. Each step you take leaves a footprint, which will be smoothed over once the tide changes. You make your way through the beach, following the dividing line between ocean and land with your feet in the water. It comes up to your ankle.

“You know.” starts Tartaglia, as he walks beside you. “In some regions, they have beaches where the sand isn’t as thin. It’s more so made of tiny stones.” 

“Really? Wouldn’t that hurt? I can hardly imagine how it feels.” 

“Ah well, the stones are smooth so it doesn’t hurt, it’s just not as pleasant? I was there to exterminate a den of lawachurls so I didn’t really pay attention to the general scenery. It does remove the dead skin off your feet though.”  

You snort. Of course, Tartaglia and the thrill of the fight go hand in hand. 

You’re no battle or strategy expert so you let him talk about his fights. He even shows off his bow, Polar Star, handling it a bit and even letting you hold it (It’s a pretty weapon with incredible details that matches his colors.). You question him about his different victories, which regions he went to, the foreign food he got to try since the last time you two met up. The conversation takes turns, shifts, pauses, takes off again, without any disturbance. It’s so easy to talk to him, even your silences are comfortable. 

There’s no pressure to talk, no need to cover up the sounds of waves and wind around you, there’s nothing awkward in this atmosphere. You don’t notice the time passing by, you don’t count how many starconches you collect, you don’t pay attention to the tide change. You don’t think about the future because the thought of his inevitable departure doesn't even cross your mind at all. 

Perhaps you should question your connection to him a bit more, because you’re now both playing in the water like a pair of eight year olds while still clothed. 

You smile, eyes closed with your face turned away, blindly trying to send water his way. He’s too good though, merciless in his assaults against you. “Feel the power of Monoceros Caeli!” He’s smiling even harder than you. 

“Never!” You make a bee-line for the land, and he’s swift to follow after you. One step after the other, you try your best to push your weight against the ocean current despite how heavy your legs feel underwater. He gets closer to you rapidly, he’s more experienced after all. 

Your knees buckle under you as you laugh, boisterous and unrestrained. You let yourself fall back against the (mostly) dry sand. You managed to get to the shore first –or perhaps he allowed you to. You hear him approach soon enough. You open your mouth, try to say something, but it’s hard to talk at all through your howling. “Are you gonna make it, comrade?” No, I don't think so. 

Each breath comes from deep within your chest, your exhales are loud. your eyes are staring straight up, to the orange sky. It’s close to sunset already. As you slowly recover, Tartaglia crouches beside you. He waits for you to calm down, a fond expression on his face and a warmer smile to accompany it. “Can I show you something?” 

“Sure.” You sit up, a bit puzzled by his request. 

Tartaglia summons Polar Star in his left hand and pulls on the string with his other. Extending his arm, three arrows appear in his right hand. He’s about to shoot at the sky but does not release his hold on the string. Rather, the vision by his hip starts to glow. Water flows out of the handle, until it covers the bow itself and the arrows. He releases his hold on the string, and you watch as three trails of glowing hydro mark the landscape.

The first one lands in the ocean, and illuminates the water as it sinks. It’s quiet for a moment… Until a whale jumps out. What.

It’s a narwhal actually, and it’s made of water. It seems so powerful and heavy. It glows light-blue in the now pink-and-dark blue sunset. It’s slow, and too fast for your consciousness at the same time. It rises slowly, cutting through the sky. For a few seconds it’s just that, until it turns on itself to show you its belly. 

It’s at that moment that the two other arrows go down as well. But instead of landing like the first one did, they burst in the sky. The hydro they contained is released like a firework, illuminating the beast as it falls back onto the water. 

Somehow, it doesn’t create some kind of small tsunami. Simply a bigger wave.

You don’t hear your gasp, or see the look of amazement on your face –But Tartaglia does. “How was that?” he asks you after a moment.

“I’m– That’s… Incredible.” Your mouth is still agape, and it takes a moment for your thoughts to make sense. “You’re something else ‘Taglia. You use those for fighting too right? And yet they were so pretty but harmless here… It’s extraordinary.” 

“Of course!” He taps his vision, proud like a peacock. “This isn’t just a pretty thing, I’m eleventh for a reason you know.” 

Naturally. Not just anyone can boast about their power the way he does, he earned it through hard work. Despite the questionable things the fatui do, even with his high position, he is only acting under his superior’s wishes. Perhaps that’s why you’ve never blamed him for what happened during the Rite of Parting. 

He has the looks too, a pretty face with freckles. Tall and slender –though you’re pretty sure his dolphinhide suit is hiding his larger build. The remnant of pink in the sky highlights his hair and scarf, while the blue of the night accentuates the lighter blue in his eyes. He has no rights to be this pretty. 

“I’m sure you would be the Cryo Archon’s favorite –if you weren’t ginger that is.” 

The gasp he lets out is incredibly dramatic. He grasps at his chest, right where his heart is, and falls in the sand on his back. “Archons! Mayday! I’ve been struck down!” You chuckle. I don’t wanna go back home just yet.

But you don’t have a choice. He has his life and own occupations, just as you do. So reluctantly, you make your way back together. Despite the growing dark, you’re left unarmed throughout the walk. It’s peaceful, silence reigns and while there’s no awkwardness between the two of you –it’s clear neither feels like ending it yet. Originally, you would have been on your own. But he had changed your plans for the better, made your day much more enjoyable. 

You arrive back at Liyue too quickly for your taste. You’re thankful for his company and what he has done already, but you cannot help being greedy and wishing for more. Everyday life is duller when he’s not around. 

“Here.” You extend a hand toward him, a single starconch sitting in your palm. “It was my first time at the beach with someone else and– I don’t know. You can give it to Tonia if you don’t feel like keeping it. I’m sure she’ll like it.” 

You’re not brave enough to say what you'd like to say, so you pray for him to get the hint at least. I hope you’ll remember this evening the way I will, I hope you’ll think about me the way I think I do about you. 

He seems a bit surprised, but he’s quick to smile. “Thank you, I’ll take care of it. I’m glad you had fun, hopefully we can do something like this again soon. But on one condition!” 

You raise a brow. “What is it ?” 

He seems slightly vulnerable for a moment, his voice a bit softer. “Promise me, someday, you’ll call me by another name.” 

You’re only more puzzled. “I’ll never ever call you Childe, if that’s what you’re asking for.”

He laughs loudly and departs, starconch in his hand. You can only watch, heart buzzing and head confused.

RB appreciated !!

[iwant-fuitgummi]

Part 2 of my mondstadt headcanons!

(FF = Found Family)

pt. 1 here

Diona Katzlein

she/her

10

Family: Draff Katzlein (Father), Diluc Ragnvindr (FF Dad since draff sucks), Margaret (FF Mom), Eury (FF Mom), Fischl (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Klee Babler

Diona has type 1 diabetes. Margaret helps her get insulin and dietary supplements.

She has tourettes. Her most common tics are meows, hisses, mouth pops, whistles, and jumping.

Diona is very sensitive to sound. Diluc commissioned Albedo to make soundproof earplugs made specifically for her ears.

Diona goes "fishing" with Klee. She turns all of the fish Klee blasts into her specialty dish, and the two use them for picnics.

She loves birdwatching. She sometimes has the urge to catch them, but she stops herself. This is how she teaches herself self control.

Fischl taught her how to use her bow

Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort (I did the actual Fischl and the Immernachtreich Fischl because I wanted to highlight some differences)

she/they/he/xe/star/starself/nil/thy/one

16

Xenogender, Omnisexual, Polyamorous

Currently dating Bennett Faust and Razor Minci

Family: Mother and Father, Diluc (FF Father), Diona (FF Sister), Mona Megistus (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Oz

Fischl has autism, ADHD, tourettes, and BPD. SHe is also a maladaptive daydreamer.

Fischl loses sleep due to how often she stays up writing her books. Diluc gives her tea to help her sleep.

Speaking of which, they spend a lot of time at the winery to avoid going home to their parents. Diluc gave them their own room that they can decorate however they want.

Xe taught Diona how to use her bow. Xe is mostly self-taught, but Kaeya helped xem learn the basics.

Diluc lets star borrow his falcon so that star can take it and Oz on playdates. Star loves watching them fly together, but it reminds star of stars lack of friends. Diona offers to come with star, though, so star feels less alone.

Immernachtreich Fischl looks significantly different from the real Fischl. Most noticeably, their more confident expression and lack of eyebags. She also has a smile, while the real Fischl has RBF.

Diluc Ragnvindr

ANGST WARNING BTW

he/him

24

Transgender man, Biromantic, Homosexual

In an unlabeled relationship with Venti

Family: Crepus Ragnvindr (Dad), Kaeya Alberich-Ragnvindr (Brother), Diona Katzlein (FF Daughter), Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort (FF Daughter)

Best Friend: how do i say this nicely. none.

Everytime Diluc sees Kaeya and Eula drinking together, he feels a pang of sadness. When this happens, he gets Charles to cover his shift so he can take a break. He doesn't want his patrons to see him sad because of his brother finding a new family.

Diluc has severe burns on his hands from the delusion.

He wears a necklace under his suit. It has a starconch that Kaeya gave him as a kid. He keeps it there in hopes that it'll somehow help him get his brother back.

He has a lot of extra rooms in the Dawn Winery. One was given to Venti, another to Fischl, and another to Diona whenever she wants to stay there...but Kaeya's room is never occupied. It's exactly the same as it was when he left six years ago. Diluc's kept it the same, and occasionally just sits in there when he misses his brother.

Diluc loves animals, even though the only pet he has is his falcon. He has a special soft spot for cats, but he never lets them near the winery in order to keep Venti safe.

Eula Lawrence

she/her

27

Cisgender Woman, Asexual, Lesbian

Dating Amber Hasenkamp

Family: Kaeya Alberich-Ragnvindr (FF Brother), Mika Schmidt (FF Brother)

Best Friend: Jean Gunnhildr

I don't have many thoughts about Eula tbh, I always kinda forget she exists.

She has BPD and depression. She often loses sleep trying to figure out how to make people like her.

She spars with Kaeya all the time to try and hone her sword skills. She never spars with him using her claymore, though. She doesn;t want to remind him of the fight with Diluc.

She sees Mika as a little brother, though Mika always gets nervous when she's around. She tries to be super nice to him, though. She's also helped him learn techniques that help with his anxiety.

Albedo Kreideprinz

they/he/she/it

~24 physically, possibly 500+

Agender, Asexual, Demiromantic, Biromantic

Dating Sucrose Hertz

Family: Rhinedottir (Mother), Durin (Brother), Fellflower (Sibling), Alice Babler (FF Aunt), Klee Babler (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Sucrose Hertz

Albedo is autistic (obviously). They hyperfocus on their projects for days at a time and forget to take care of themself. Sucrose takes it upon herself to bring them food, water, coffee, tea, meds, whatever they need. Honestly, they neglect themself so often that they'd be dead if it weren't for Sucrose.

She has a pet mouse that she keeps in the lab. She was gonna use it for an experiment, but decided against it. The mouse has been in the lab for over a year now and is named Fritz.

Albedo wears gold makeup to highlight the mark on his neck. He's extremely proud of it, as it reminds him of his imperfections. He also has golden streaks in his hair and Khaenri'ahn pupils.

He sends letters to Cyno and Tighnari. He tells Tighnari about his experiments and exchanges jokes and TCG strategies with Cyno.

Sucrose Hertz

she/they (doesn't care though)

23

Nonbinary, Bisexual

Dating Albedo Kreideprinz

Family: Klee Babler (FF Sister), Collei (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Albedo Kreideprinz

Sucrose has really bad anxiety (duh). She's also selectively mute and knows sign language. Albedo makes anxiety medicine specifically for her.

They have a crush on Rosaria, but are too afraid to say anything about it.

She has her own garden, which she grows sweet flowers in. They're her favorite type of flower. She has a separate garden that she grows fruits and vegetables in, which she donates to the Cathedral for their soup kitchen.

She sends letters to Collei talking about her experiments and experiences with anxiety, helping Collei learn how to cope with her stress.

The surname I gave her, Hertz, means heart.

Mika Schmidt

she/they

15

Transfem, Bisexual

Family: Huffman Schmidt (Brother), Eula Lawrence (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Bennett Faust

Mika is a HUGE Barbara fan, but is too scared to talk to her. She goes to all of her concerts and gives warnings to her fan club that, if they mess with her life, she WILL arrest them.

She's come close to arresting Albert more times than she can count.

They have awful anxiety. Eula helps them learn how to manage it.

Kaeya taught them how to use their vision and Rosaria taught them how to use their polearm.

I don't have many thoughts about Mika, sorry. She's one of the two four stars I don't have, so I haven't read much about her.

Rosaria Nacht

she/they/vamp

27

Transgender Woman, Aroace

Family: Varka (FF Dad), Razor (FF Brother), Barbara (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Kaeya Alberich-Ragnvindr

Okay first of all I replaced her eyes with Immernachtreich Fischl's since I don't like how her eyes are a different art style than everyone else's.

She's SUPER pale. This is due to her having anemia. She often takes iron supplements to help with this, but she's still super pale. It's also because she's a night owl and almost never gets sun. This has led to many rumors about her being a vampire, but she doesn't mind. She likes being feared.

Vamp is friends with Diluc and often gives him updates on how Kaeya's doing. Vamp is also one of the few people who knows that he's the Darknight Hero, and the two work together a lot.

They get antidepressants from Sucrose for free.

The surname I gave her, Nacht, means night watchman.

Astrologist Mona Megistus

she/they/star/starself

26

Transgender Woman, Bisexual

Family: Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort (FF Sister)

She wears a full-length dress and blue makeup. She also has glasses.

Mona works with Lisa a lot to try and cure her curse.

They have a crush on Rosaria, but aren't really interested in pursuing it, especially since they know Rosaria's aroace.

She has a pet cat named Effie. Effie is a Birman and often stays in Mona's library, sleeping on the bookshelves. Effie hates Oz and tries to eat him whenever Fischl visits.

Star graduated from the Akademiya in the Rtawahist darshan, but star also took a lot of Vahumana classes and is a licensed therapist. Star reads people's constellations and learns their pasts, then star helps them cope with any issues they have. Star also prescribes medicine if needed, sending a prescription to Sucrose and Albedo.

[glacialswordsman-a]

Ship Bias beep boops

prompt i’ll answer each ‘ship bias’ prompt with one ship that I enjoy!

if no one knows by now how fucking obsessed i am with chaeya by now then you're a fake fan!!! /j

anyway chaeya is my #1 ship for kaeya, because there are so many connections that could link them together but hoyo is full of FUCKING COWARDS!!!

like cmon

they share a desire to protect children/look after them

they're both linked to the abyss

blue and orange compliment each other

they both have major roles to play in the story and it could be a big enemies to lovers thing or whatever

one of ajax's ascension materials is a starconch and [points at kaeya's eye] star

they were both thrust into impossible circumstances as children where they were forced to grow up way too soon due to the roles placed upon their shoulders

they both have a thing for families and understanding how important they are/can be

they both enjoy the thrills of fighting/sparring and the adrenaline that comes with it

[gestures at 4.7]

ajax's soup has calla lilies in it!!! CMON!!!!!!!!!!

there's probably so much more i can touch upon but my brain is too fried atm to think of more

anyway i love them with all my fucking heart

[hetacakes]

What are your xiaolumi domestic fluff in the serenitea pot headcanons?

anon thank u for enabling me bc I have SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS

like all of xiao's teapot lines are so domestic 😭😭

okay so here are a few I have:

1. xiao and lumine always make sure to look for and greet the other first thing when they enter the teapot

2. lumine is used to xiao coming home late at night after fighting and stuff so when he climbs into bed (they sleep in one bed bc they both love cuddling each other) lumine instinctively reaches for him even in her sleep and xiao finds it so endearing

3. they share a room and bed like the disgustingly married couple they are and their room looks empty at first glance but when you take a closer look you notice all the little gifts they've given each other lying around (the crystalflies, starconch, qingxin, etc.)

4. xiao's side of the bed is always neat because he doesn't sleep often and when he does, he always tidies up. meanwhile lumine's is always a tad bit messy. it's very obvious which side is who's (lumine sleeps on the right, xiao on the left)

5. they have a bunch of dogs because lumine couldn't resist them every time chubby visited so they both frequently pop in to check on them and take them on walks (the puppies are definitely their children)

6. kageromarou is an outside guard dog and both xiao and lumine love training with him and giving him pats for doing so well

7. i'm tired of writing so im gonna end it here w my last one: both xiao and lumine refer to the teapot as "home" (both of them yell "i'm home!" whenever they enter the house)

[aurellya]

A Dance to Remember

❀ Tartali | Oneshot | Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and lots of Kisses

Summary: Before the last of his memories turn to dust, Zhongli leaves Childe with one final request: To dance to their song with him each day, so that his eyes may see and his mind may remember once more — even if for a short while.

[Originally posted here on AO3]

As the last rays of light disappear behind the mountains, Childe turns to Zhongli, smiling as he extends a hand out. Their gloves are left atop a nearby rock, out of reach of the waves that lap at their bare feet and sweep the sand away with their coming and going.

“Shall we?” 

Zhongli nods, stepping forward soundlessly. A warm palm presses against his own offered one, and Childe allows his other hand to drift to Zhongli’s waist, touching yet not as his hand hovers right above the material of Zhongli’s coat. 

Light blooms beneath their feet, spreading outward across the sand and rising into the sky in swirling pillars of light to form a golden stage untouched by even the ocean. 

An odd picture they make, clad in suits and spinning round and round across the sand, steps practised and confident as they step over starconches in the sand and avoid the biting claws of crabs that hide within. But it does not matter. Not with the sound of the swirling sea and the crunching of the sand beneath their feet to guide them.

The silence is all too loud, their hearts beating in tandem and breaths mixing in the space between them. And, noticing that Zhongli is looking past him at views unknown, Childe simply laughs as he presses a gentle kiss to the tip of the other’s nose, their dance not faltering for even a moment as Zhongli’s lips form an ‘o’ and he turns his head the slightest bit till their eyes meet once more — or somewhat do, at least.

Childe remembers the first time it had begun to happen, Zhongli missing the chopsticks on the table and almost dipping his hand into the bowl of hot soup in front of them.

“Here, xiansheng.” He’d said, pressing the pair of chopsticks into Zhongli’s hand and a spoon into the other. “Is everything alright?”

“...Yes. My apologies, Ajax. I am simply fatigued.” That had been Zhongli’s reply, so clearly a lie from the way the other had hesitated for just a moment, frowning and squinting at his hands as if that would help any. And Childe had watched as the ex-archon tried once more to pick up a piece of bamboo shoot… only to have his chopsticks hit the table. Again and again no matter how many times he tried.

Sliding into the seat beside Zhongli, Childe sighed as he placed his hands over Zhongli’s, guiding the other as they finished their meal.

That had been the first day of many. Only the very beginning of what had been soon to happen.

Twirling Zhongli around and dipping the other so low that the tip of his ponytail brushed against the sand, Childe began humming, lips curving upwards into a smile as Zhongli’s eyes finally fix on him. Empty yet full of love.

He remembers when those eyes had still been able to see, watching him as they danced across their sparring grounds in one of the many clearings in Jueyun Karst, tracing the lines of his face as they woke up each morning.

Childe only wishes that the final scene captured by those eyes had been a much more beautiful one. One of the lovely view from the top of Mount Tianheng as the sun rose, or perhaps his favourite tea spot in the floating pavilion above Jueyun Karst… anything except the bloody mess that had been caused by Childe’s own recklessness.

Zhongli deserved so much more.

“Ajax, you—”

What a sight he had been that day, red coating his grey attire and face pale as he stumbled into their house. Leaning against the dining table as the world spun around him, he’d watched as Zhongli dropped the cup he’d been holding to rush to his side. “Hah… xiansheng… you still remember… good…” 

“That is not important right now.” Zhongli huffed, practically dragging Childe to the couch before ripping his uniform shirt open without a care. Beneath the fabric laid layers after layers of bandages soaked through — layers that Zhongli quickly but carefully removed using the tip of a sharp claw.

“Oh? How forward of you~” Childe joked even as his breath caught in his throat when Zhongli pressed on the now exposed wound.

As expected, Zhongli had paid no mind to his delirious murmurs, hands pressed firmly against his skin and anger and fear filling those beautiful amber eyes as a golden light filled the room — stemming from arms of darkened ebony, cracked as the markings may be. A god’s power, strong enough to cleanse any poison… abyssal or not… but most likely the former now that he thought about it. Honestly, Childe should’ve expected as much. He’d been careless. And now Zhongli would be helping him pay the price as well.

Raising a hand to nudge at Zhongli’s chest and frowning as the other did not move even a little bit, Childe sighed, “I’ll be alright, xiansheng. Don’t waste your energy.”

Except of course his body had to betray him, a series of coughs wracking his frame and sending a thin dribble of blood down his chin.

“Quiet, Ajax. Please—” Zhongli pleaded, voice cracking as shimmering tears fell to the ground drop by drop. And so Childe had watched as gold crackled, breaking and falling to the ground even as his wounds were healed by the very same power. Stitched together by threads of gold and sealed by the purest energy of the land.

“See you tomorrow.” And when the light faded away and the room was plunged in the light of the moon once more, Zhongli had simply smiled before falling into his arms like a dead weight.

Now, Childe grins playfully as he lifts Zhongli into the air, taking mild satisfaction in the shock and exasperation that fills the other’s expression as he finds himself held in the air — hair blown about by the wind as the moon formed a halo behind him. Beautiful.

“Ajax!” Zhongli yelps, pinching at Childe’s shoulders as the other’s hands continue to hold his waist firmly. It’s a joyful, and mildly reckless, spin that has Zhongli yelping and wrapping his arms and legs around Childe even as he knows deep within that Childe would never let him go. Their laughter echoes throughout the night, rising above the sound of the waves and ships approaching the harbour in the distance. “Put me down this instant.”

“As you wish.” And that is exactly what Childe does, lifting Zhongli off him once more as the other’s hold loosens and placing the ex-archon back down upon the ground he had used to command with ease. He holds Zhongli till the other looks steady enough on his own two feet, smiling as he tidies tousled hair back into a neat braid and fixes a starconch in Zhongli’s hair.

Rolling his eyes, Zhongli laughs even as a hand comes to brush against the shell. “Ridiculous.”

There is no bite in his words, softened even more by the way he leans back into Childe’s embrace, the other’s arms automatically wrapping around him once more.

“I love you.” Childe can’t help but say as he holds Zhongli in his arms, feeling the other’s heart beat within his chest and seeing those golden eyes so filled with light once more as his lover looks back at him. The recognition that flickers in and out like a flame against raging winds is all too precious, both of them know this. And so Zhongli raises a hand to trace along the lines of Childe’s face as Childe does the same. It cannot last, but they will make the most of it.

The scar on Childe’s cheek, the clumsy red lines drawn across Zhongli’s eyes by an unseeing gaze. Each and every detail is studied and remembered by heart.

“Were you unable to help me this morning?” Zhongli asks, watching his reflection in the waters below as they move to sit along the shore, uncaring of the way the ocean soaks their clothes and the wind blows their hair into a mess once more — Zhongli’s braid becoming partly undone, though the starconch holds strong in its place.

Rubbing at the line in a poor attempt to fix it, Childe sighs. “... I wasn't able to return on time, sorry… The ship got caught in a storm on the way back.”

He imagines Zhongli reaching around for the eyeliner on his table, trying his best to draw his signature red eyeliner on without assistance, and ends up torn between the warmth that swells in his heart that Zhongli at least remembers something and the pain of watching the other struggle.

Next time… Childe makes a mental reminder to take an earlier ship the next time. And perhaps procure a new brush for Zhongli to use… or another hairpin as a gift. A starconch themed one would probably be beautiful, now that he thinks about it.

When the line is fixed once more, Zhongli only smiles wider as his fingers run across Childe’s cheekbones. “Ajax, what do you think of allowing me to try painting some on for you one day?”

“Would you like to do it now?” From his pocket, Childe pulls out a small package that is easily unwrapped with a tug on the ribbon holding the cover together. Inside lies a simple tub of the red ink he remembers Zhongli loves to use and a new brush, their names engraved into the handle.

“This…” Zhongli’s hands run across the gift, eyes gleaming as he takes the brush in hand and dips it into the red. “Of course.”

And as Zhongli paints beautiful lines of red across his lids and beneath the corner of his eyes, Childe remains completely still even when Zhongli leans close enough that the other’s warm breath fans across his cheek and disperses the cool of the night even if for a few moments.

“Red suits you well,” Zhongli says as he pulls away, directing Childe to look at himself in the water.

“I know.” He grins, pressing a kiss to Zhongli’s cheek. “Now we match!”

“Ajax, I love y—” The faraway look in Zhongli’s eyes returns, and Zhongli blinks a few times, hand pressed against his eyes as a frown makes its way upon his face. Behind them, the moon begins to fall behind the cover of the mountains.

Seeing this, Childe simply pulls Zhongli into a tight embrace once more, holding the other against his chest and humming a song unknown to even the ears of the wind as his hand cards through locks of dark hair that would no longer glow. “It’s alright.” 

With one final kiss against soft lips, Childe bids his farewell, knowing the exact moment as love is replaced by confusion and then pity as Zhongli freezes against him. Ah, so their time is up.

Another day ends and begins just like that. Memories reset and vision lost once more as their moment ends. The sun rises in the sky, yet Childe can only watch as the sun in front of him sets yet again… only to awaken the next coming of dawn.

“... I’m sorry, Ajax, I—” In those eyes brimming with tears like liquid crystal, Childe sees the sun reflected in pools of amber as Zhongli looks away, long bangs hiding those beautiful eyes from view as they brighten and dim once more.

At this, Childe lets go as he always did, taking a step back as he speaks. “It’s alright Zhongli… It’s alright.” It’s alright… whether the words were meant as comfort or a reminder to himself, Childe does not know. 

And when Zhongli finally calms, he pulls out a small book filled with pictures and writing, odd items taped to each page. “Would you like to hear a story?”

“Please.” Zhongli replies, allowing his hand to be taken and guided to the first page where a single piece of mora is taped.

“When we first met…” Childe’s voice drifts off into the bustling morning as the world around them rises to greet the new day. He tells tales of meeting, of departure and reunion. Of happy days spent together strolling along the harbour and even of the sadness of separation as he leaves for weeks on end to settle Fatui work. Of busy mornings spent preparing for the day ahead and of quiet evenings eating together at a table or strolling along the beach as the sun set.

Childe has told this story countless times by now, each scene ingrained in his heart. But it is not troublesome at all. And never will be. The soft smiles that rise to Zhongli’s face as he leans against Childe’s shoulder and falls in love with their memories is more than enough for him.

Joined souls sit side by side as they watch the sun rise in the horizon, casting its golden light upon the mountains and rivers below as it greets the world to a new day. 

Tomorrow they will try again. Or the day after… Or the one after that even… for as long as it would take till the day fragmented memories become whole once more and those golden eyes gaze upon him for more than just mere moments each day.

But for now all they can do is remain by each other’s side from dusk till dawn, savouring that window of clarity and making the most of it each time in a promise fulfilled time and time again.

“Ajax, would you do one last thing for me? Before I forget?” Zhongli had asked in his dreams that final day, a sad smile upon his face as flecks of gold fell from his form.

Swallowing down the cries that threatened to tear their way from his throat, Childe simply smiled, placing a kiss to the back of Zhongli’s hand where the cracks are at their worst. “What is it?”

“Dance with me?” It is a simple wish, and one that Childe would grant time after time again even after this.

“Of course.” And so Childe had taken Zhongli into his arms, their souls dancing in the golden light even as memories crumbled to dust around them.

From then on, this would be their promise. One that would remain unbroken till the very end.

A dance to remember — witnessed by the moon and stars in the skies above, the earth beneath their feet, and the ocean that mourned for its sun. 

Author's Notes:

Thank you for reading and feel free to say hi on Twitter [@mikarin_Z], or find my other fics on AO3 [aurellya]!

[tenebriism]

"I know you love the ocean, so I brought you something from ours." Cupped in Gaming's hands is a spiraling blue shell with a silver, star-like shape in the middle of it. Truthfully, he'd spent all morning searching for what he deemed to be the perfect one, but he thought it best to leave that part out. Poor Freminet would probably get so embarrassed if Gaming told him.

"We have an old story here in Liyue: if you hold a starconch to you ear, you might hear messages from someone who cares about you, even if they're far away." A playful grin spreads across the brunet's face, his eyes sparkling, "Maybe you'll still be able to hear me, even from all the way in Fontaine!"

" ... f... f-for me? Oh... th-thank you. "

Freminet holds the gift carefully within his palms, as if to even BREATHE too harshly in its direction may bring ruin. Had he the space back home, he'd have had many treats and trinkets from his diving excursions lining his room; alas, 'tis filled more with parts and tools for his work and inventions rather than the other hobby he enjoys just as much. Unlike the things he swims past during a session, though, this is a gift. One so personal and well thought out that he doesn't catch the small smile and awestruck glimmer in his eye as he gazes appreciatively 'pon it.

" It's... beautiful, Gaming, " he whispers, pulling it to his ear to test the validity of the story like a child fresh out of the world of a storybook. Even if it's similar to what the legend of the Hydro Dragon had once been, it's something meaningful for him to look back on when he begins to feel lonely.

" I think I hear... Lyney, Lynette, gears... ah, that must be Pers, and... I... think I hear you, too... "

@ironbloodcd ;;

[erabundus]

@ruinlost &&. said... “Biig brotherr!!” Taiyang calls out to ren gleefully hopping up to him holding a smallish looking box in his hands with his signature big grin,and farrow was steadily catching up to tai (if he had lungs he’d practically be out of breath) holding his own box which was about medium size. [“Happy birthday ren,we wanted to try and both be present to give you your gifts this time”] the automaton said giving a small smile,taiyang nodded before holding up his own “yep yep!,we hope you like em big brother!” In taiyang’s box sat a blue wooden cat ,it was a but rough around the edges,it had a playful smile painted on it ,”I see a lotta animals like you!-so mama helped me to make you one you can take wherever you go!”  Farrow held out his gift box next ,[“I thought a bit about this one took me a bit to put together…I think this may come in handy”] in the box ,one would find what looked to be a kit of some kind nice and neat-with the materials to make a good amount of paper lanterns,as well as a few starconch’s to the side. [“theres one more thing—anhe his preparing grilled fish tonight if you'd like to have some?”] -farrow & taiyang!

he  turns  around  at  the  sound  of  a  familiar  voice,  blinking  in  surprise.  the  movement  startles  a  tiny  bird  that  had  been  making  itself  comfortable  on  the  wanderer's  outstretched  finger  —  and  it  flutters  away  with  an  IRRITATED  CHIRP.  ren  hardly  seems  to  notice,  however;  he's  far  too  distracted  by  the  scene  that  presents  itself  before  him.  farrow  and  taiyang,  bearing  gifts  that  the  wanderer  can  only  assume  are  meant  for  him.  (  he  hasn't  forgotten  what  day  it  is,  no  matter  how  much  he  may  want  to.  )  the  entire  scenario  feels  equal  parts  mundane  and  fantastical.  a  few  short  years  prior,  he  never  would  have  thought  such  a  scene  possible  —  nor  would  he  have  DESIRED  IT,  too  preoccupied  with  old  grudges  and  all-consuming  obsessions.  it's  strange  to  think  he  existed  in  a  stasis  of  sorts  for  so  many  centuries,  only  to  have  his  life  undergo  dramatic  changes  in  barely  a  fraction  of  the  time.  even  now,  he  finds  himself  feeling  a  bit  overwhelmed  whenever  something  occurs  that  would  be  all  but  impossible  in  what  hateful  existence  came  before.

unsurprisingly,  he  counts  his  CURRENT  CIRCUMSTANCES  among  them.  the  balladeer  had  no  interest  in  birthdays  —  nor  anyone  who  considered  his  existence  something  worth  celebrating.  he's  still too  accustomed  to living in  that  mindset.

❝  i  don't  know  if  surprising  me  was  your  intention,  ❞   the  wanderer  says  aloud,  ❝  but  you  GOT  ME  either  way.  ❞   lips  curve  in  a  faint  smile  —  regardless  of  whether  he  deserves  it  or  not,  the  gesture  makes  him  GENUINELY  HAPPY.  that  feeling  only  grows  when  he  finally  opens  the  gifts.  he  is  universally  fond  of  most  animals  (  easily  preferring  their  company  over  that  of  humans  )  yet  ren  supposes  cats  are  among  his  favorites.  they  are  aloof,  independent  creatures  with  a  natural  aura  of  dignity  about  them  —  and  he's  well  aware  of  how  others  are  wont  to  draw  COMPARISONS  between  felines  and  himself.  ren  finds  he's  fairly  neutral  about  the  claims;  neither  acknowledging  them  outwardly,  nor  trying  to  dissuade  them.  attention  then  turning  to  the  other  gift,  he's  rather  pleased  by  the  collection  of  supplies.  the  conversation  he  and  farrow  shared  about  the  paper  lanterns  is  still  as  fresh  in  his  mind  as  most  things  are;  the  wanderer  knows  he  will  be  able  to  make  good  use  of  them.  

❝  thank  you.  ❞  ren  finally  says,  glancing  between  the  two.  ❝  ...  both  of  you.  ❞  he  isn't  particularly  good  at  expressing  tender  sentiments,  but  he  can  only  hope  his  siblings  are  already  ACCUSTOMED  ENOUGH  to  that  weakness  to  glimpse  what  genuine  gratitude  lies  beneath  such  short  words.  

❝  you  said  anhe  was  making  fish  —  ?  ... i'm  not  about  to  miss  that.  ❞

[canonical-transformation]

Xinyan on Chilli yes.

Hot take 🔥🔥🔥: Ningguang on Starconch. (Glaze Lily perfect too ofc.)

Crystal Marrow and Aloy... I get why they'd pair Aloy with Tatarigami (the corruption of Hades etc) so I'm willing to leave her there.

However. Wolfhook. Have you seen how many berries that woman can eat in one dinobattle? It's a lot.

Kokomi on Crystal Marrow is perfect. Ideally she'd get the False Fins too ❤️

Also I feel like Enkanomiya ought to have a few Sango Pearls in strategic locations to hint at where/how Orobaxi did his magic ritual

HYV putting Chiori on Dendrobium ties in with her red flower motif...

...but why the red flower motif? Is she Death in the sense of Rider-Waite "a clean break with the past"? I kind of like that — it suits her backstory and her brand values. I'm giving it a tentative pass.

Ayato on Sea Ganoderma is good, but he's also a pretty strong Dendrobium candidate. Blood on his hands blah blah.

Then, if we're pulling Miko off of Ganoderma, that leaves Kazuha, who I claim is a Cecelia main. "only grows where harsh winds blow". Bam.

Why torture Navia with Primordial "Sourcewater Droplets" Seawater when Furina is right there

And if Neuvillette gets to have them, I want Sigewinne to, too

Mechanical surveillance SDU's on Charlotte is perfect. No notes. Chevreuse and Freminet and Clorinde are all excellent candidates here too, but alas, overcrowding.

Oh and maybe I just missed a post to this effect but what about a Mondstadt diagram? :S

so uh wtf does Mika have to do with Wolfhook? (again. Aloy xD)

Lisa Act 1: "my favourite flower? Valberry. Definitely Valberry. Remember that."

ok no but if Rosaria is getting Valberry off of the Stormbearer/Storm Watch connection, uh, Diluc? Diluc is right there and what does Lampgrass have to do with him?

Let's all just take a second to admit to ourselves that Philameno Mushrooms do not have a theme.

can i ask for your rant on Genshin regional specialities? your meta on the bosses was very entertaining, and i largely agree–although i do have to argue that the ruin serpent is worse than the wenut in the spiral abyss

(Meta on boss drop bloat in Genshin)

Ok, well don't say I didn't warn you, anon.

Regional specialties suffer from the same problem as the boss drops as we always need to have at least one or two per expansion, and that as the expansions have gone on, the drops have become more and more mismatched. I mean, I have problems with some of the Liyue characters' regional specialty assignments too, but I'll deal with them too.

I'm gonna address them region by region.

(Highlights: Chongyun why do you use Cor Lapis, Dendrobium Chiori but she doesn't seem to be killing people?!, Thoma you poor soul on Fluorescent Fungus, Navia using Primordial Water, the thing she nearly died to—)

Liyue

Here is the current canonical list of who ascends with what in Liyue. Besides the obvious paradigm of why Gaming, a Pyro Vision user, is ascending with the Starconch (which has, for literal years, been a Childe and then Childe + Yelan exclusive, making it pretty much "Hydro Liyue ascender" for everyone released after 1.0, plus it's also literally a conch from the ocean, the theming—), I actually have more issues.

Chongyun using Cor Lapis, for instance. Like, let's look at the other two characters that use Cor Lapis: ah right, Zhongli aka Rex Lapis the (former) Geo Archon, whom this ore is named after, and Keqing, relentless driver of an ideal of change for Liyue Harbour, who is so dedicated to the idea of Liyue she is willing to blaspheme its Archon to do so. Both of these people, in very different ways, hold a great love for Liyue and wish to see it prosper.

Chongyun doesn't have this. It's not like he's disloyal or hates Liyue Harbour, but it's not a focal point of his character. He's more along the lines of Xiangling and Xinqiu as passively treating and treasuring Liyue as his home, but he doesn't carry the strong convictions that the Cor Lapis (lit. "Stone Heart") implies, at least not in the direction of Liyue Harbour. His character is all about his yang spirit and exorcism,

Honestly, I know it's not a regional specialty, but Chongyun would theoretically make the most sense ascending on Mist Flowers. Beyond that, my opinion is that he suits Qingxin more— like, come on, Qingxin (清心) means "pure heart" (or "mind cleansing"), and what's Chongyun's most famous motto? That's right, "Heart be pure, evil be erased. Mind be purged..." (and, via Shenhe, "world be saved").

Note: Ok, now the Chinese version of the motto is obviously very different, which might affect my argument. Combining what Shenhe completes for us, the motto is:

驅邪縛魅，內外澄清，回向正道，保身護命。 To expel evil and restrain demons, inside and outside pure and clear, turn back towards the upright Way, protect life-destiny and guard the body.

Translation courtesy of this site, since these mottos are based on the Eight Great Incantations in Daoism, specifically the "purifying the heart incantation" and "pacifying the earth incantation".

But I'd argue this makes the Qingxin argument even stronger. First of all, it straight up uses 澄清 chengqing "pure and clear", the same as the 清 qing in Qingxin. Second of all, the Daoist chant this comes from is the 淨心 jingxin "purifying the heart" mantra, like come on, I don't have the energy to explain even further how this suits him. Plus, the Qingxin description says "It eschews the warmth and moisture of the plains to gaze out afar from the solitary mountaintops." Apart from applying to the three (pseudo-) Adepti very well, doesn't this perfectly describe Chongyun's character struggle? Having to deny the warmth of life and keep himself cold (physically, mostly) and under control so that his yang spirit doesn't lose control??

Like, I know Qingxin is somehow the 'adepti' ascension material (excluding Xianyun and Yanfei, because Qingxin only applies to adepti/adjacent who don't really fit into the mortal world), but Chongyun fits this too well, and he can join his aunt Shenhe in using it too.

Other sins of Liyue ascension materials: ok, this one is less egregious, but I feel like Xinyan deserves Jueyun Chilli and not Violetgrass. Like, I get that the description of Violetgrass says it has a "strong vitality" and that its "downward-blooming flower keeps its fragrance from dissipating", both traits that reflect Xinyan's rock'n'roll persistence and her character, but Violetgrass is also a medicinal herb both factually and given that Baizhu and Qiqi both use it, so it's sending out mixed messages here. If anything, Xinyan suits Jueyun Chilli as well for being the "kick up the ass" for Liyue traditionalists (paraphrased but the sentiment is there). I'm not as sure on this one, since Jueyun Chilli also doubles as "Madam Ping's disciples' ascension material" with Yaoyao and Xiangling, but it doesn't even make sense for Yaoyao, swap her with Xinyan since Yaoyao is a healer and takes care of people and would make more sense ascending on a medicinal herb.

There's also, glaringly, the issue with Clearwater Jade and Xianyun being its only user. This has an easy hotfix: remember my problem with Gaming? Let him use Clearwater Jade instead for Chenyu connections, therefore fixing the 'there's literally only one user of this ascension material' problem. I know it's Clearwater Jade and Gaming is Pyro, but at least he has a lore connection to Chenyu Vale.

Speaking of the 'only one user of this ascension material' problem...

Inazuma

Q: Thoma, why the fuck are you the only one to use Fluorescent Fungus??

A: Because Thoma released in 2.2, just like Tsurumi Island.

There are two ways we can go about hits. First, we scrap the Fluorescent Fungus entirely and move Thoma to a different ascension material. The question is, which one? None of the others really have an MO that fits Thoma...

at least, in Inazuma.

Remember, Thoma is half-Mondstadtian. And if we wanna bend the rules a bit (or, in fact, actually give this half of his heritage some weight rather than just ignore it), why don't we give him a Mondstadt regional specialty?

Let's take Fluorescent Fungus' description. "A mushroom that glows like a night-light... [and] can help to light the way." Great, so we're dealing with only one theme here: bioluminescence and 'lighting the way in the dark'. Thoma has a Pyro Vision and works as a retainer for the Kamisato Clan, this isn't too strange. Hey, wait, isn't there also a bioluminescent plant from Mondstadt?

Small Lamp Grass: "A wild grass that emits light at night. Used in cooking to enhance other flavors. Just as the subtle fragrance of wild flowers will not distract a focused person, Small Lamp Grass' delicate glow will not attract their attention either, even at night."

Thoma could use Small Lamp Grass as a substitute, which three other characters already use, therefore reducing the amount of regional specialty bloat and making farming him not contingent on completing the Tsurumi Island questline, (which can be a good or a bad thing depending on what type of player you are), but as his """intended""" playstyle was a Hu Tao shielder at his release, the Lamp Grass choice also makes strategic sense since a Hu Tao owner will have likely already gotten a lot of Lamp grass by being in Mondstadt already, versus having to explore all of Inazuma. Plus, the Lamp Grass has an even better theming boon: "used in cooking to enhance other flavors" (like as a retainer, Thoma enhances the Kamisato Clan by his dedicated service).

If you wanted to play up Thoma's nostalgia for his homeland, you could make him use Windwheel Asters, which cannot grow in places with no wind or plagued by strong storms, only where the wind is gentle and nourishing. Inazuma, literally surrounded by a strong storm due to the Sakoku Decree and ravaged by the storms of war (metaphorically), would not be able to grow the Windwheel Aster until after the events of the Inazuma AQ and Raiden SQ II (assuming, for the sake of it, that Windwheel Asters can theoretically grow outside Mondstadt), reflecting how Thoma is stuck in a 'windless land' antithetical to his very nature. Big sad. I wish this was touched on more often, but that's an Inazuma critique, not just regional specialty reorganisation. And believe me, if I got into the Inazuma problems (as I have done in the past) we would be here all week.

The other option is not to scrap the Fluorescent Fungus, which in that case, someone else should use it. The only obvious candidate are our two new Inazuma releases: Kirara and Chiori. Out of the two of them, I think Chiori doesn't deserve Dendrobium, because it's such a reference to the red spider lily and death that even Chiori, who has her 'dark side' (being a blunt communicator??) doesn't exactly fit its MO. I mean, Sara is a war general. Of course she gets Dendrobium the flower that grows where blood was spilled. If Kokomi were a more competent character she would get Dendrobium too— *gets shot*

but it's hard to make a case for Chiori using Fluorescent Fungus unless you lean really hard into it being the "Inazuma outcast ascender", i.e. Thoma, a non-(full)-Inazuman living in Inazuma (everyone treats him considers him a 'naturalised' foreigner despite being half-Inazuman because that's the inevitable consequence of not being the picture of conformity in a society like this, trust me, I know the feeling), and Chiori, an Inazuman not living in Inazuma. The bioluminescence angle could also reflect Chiori's aspirations to become a fashion industry leader, like "the light shining in the dark", something like that. Alternatively, Chiori could use Amakumo Fruit, which fits her MO far better: "as if showing its defiance, it will bear fruit while facing the peals of thunder from the sky." Chiori is determined and defiant of the odds to achieve her dream, a "bold spirit" (quote from the desc.) for someone who emigrated and is struggling to make her life out there.

Kirara doesn't suit Amakumo Fruit either, given what I've described of it. She's neither 'defiant' (in the way that the description implies) nor strongly Electro-tied, she's just an international cat courier. That's why Fluorescent Fungus could suit her more— like, the luminescent angle lighting the way (through the fog of Tsurumi Island), just like her traveling self. It's not a deeply strong connection, but it tracks better than Amakumo Fruit does.

(Moving Chiori and Kirara away from Dendrobium and Amakumo Fruit respectively means that we're only moving the 'one character one material' problem, but given how well those two suit Sara and Raiden respectively, I'm loath to move or delete one of them. The ideal balancing factor would be moving Kirara to Fluorescent Fungus and Chiori to Amakumo Fruit, leaving Dendrobium with a single but extremely fitting user, which is more than Thoma + Fungus can be.)

Also, Yae Miko not ascending on Sakura Blooms is a sin. Swap Miko and Ayato (like, Ganoderma lore is literally the souls of dead children, what better way to imply further darkness in Ayato raising child soldiers in the Shuumatsuban especially given this is a criminally overlooked aspect in his character). Hell, if this aspect was further emphasised in Sayu's character, we could move Sayu to Dendrobium too, move Aloy literally anywhere else don't you think the Subdetection Unit, Trishiraite, or any other ore/mechanical thing would suit her more, time of release be damned??, and scrap Crystal Marrow. But that's getting dangerously close to talking about an Inazuma rewrite again, so I'll leave it there.

Hey, wouldn't it be really fucked up if Kokomi used Crystal Marrow to ascend? HYV, you cowards—

Sumeru

(Warning! I am going to be factoring the ascension material of Sethos, who was recently drip-marketed for 4.7 and hails from Sumeru. This is minor leak territory, but if you don't wish to see it, skip the section double-labeled Sethos at start and end.)

Sumeru is an interesting case because a lot of the regional specialties do clearly fit well, but at the same time are organised weirdly. I won't get into Collei and Wanderer using Rukkhashava Mushrooms because those, while weird on the surface, there is an interesting explanation behind it (ft. Ashikai's video on Eucharist lore) that coheres well. Nor will I take issue with Kaveh and Mourning Flower, since it's so clearly themed around the Iranian cultural significance of the Kaiser's Crown and dovetails with Kaveh so well, so we can let his single usage of it slide.

My first issue is with Sand Grease Pupa on Alhaitham and Dehya. Alhaitham does not really fit Sand Grease Pupa. Like, I will hear the argument that the description "the hardened shell is meant to protect the Quicksand Eels' larval bodies until they finally acclimate to the conditions of the dry desert" is a subtle reference to Alhaitham's character and temperament, where his """"callousness""" and blunt personality are a method to enforce boundaries and keep the personal peace he strives for in life amidst the sea of uncertainty. But the thing is that doesn't hold for Dehya, who also uses Sand Grease Pupa and doesn't have this kind of thing unless you count her being a hardened mercenary? Which is incredibly strange.

But things are complicated by the fact that there is no satisfactory place to move Alhaitham, unlike previous occasions where we found better places for Chiori and Kirara, etc. Like, I've tried my best, but against all odds the quote I mentioned from Sand Grease Pupa is the only one that remotely seems to work for him, and that's even if I ignore release order and consider Trishiraite or Mourning Flower.

So I feel compelled to keep Sand Grease Pupa. In that case, let's eject Dehya from using it, because it clearly doesn't fit her apart from the desert origin, which isn't even consistent because of Alhaitham. I'll talk about where Dehya should go in a moment, but now we have the problem that Alhaitham is the only user of the Pupa, which is something we try to avoid unless the theming is strong enough (like Kujou Sara - Dendrobium). So, taking into account "a hardened shell" theming, who else fits this?

"I must make a lot of Mora." "With enough Mora, my family will never have to smile at me while swallowing their pain, and I will never have to lose anything due to lacking Mora..."

Ding ding ding! It's Dori. In fact, I want to make the case that she fits Sand Grease Pupa better than Kalpalata Lotus, which she currently uses. The motif of Kalpalata Lotus is about "it looks like a lotus, but it isn't", which... works with Dori, I suppose, but isn't particularly compelling. Meanwhile, the Pupa is a 'hardened shell'— like Alhaitham's own boundary-setting unique personality, Dori's shell is her love of Mora, something she uses to face the outer world after the pain of losing her sister to a disease that could have been cured had they had enough money to purchase the herbs needed. Dori's obsessive love of Mora is real, of course, but it's the "hardened shell" that protects her from disappointment after the trauma of losing her sister. It's almost too perfect! (And, Alhaitham and Dori are some of the only rainforest-origin characters to have a slightly strong enough connection to the desert to justify this, not that we really need to.)

This, obviously, ignores release order. My previous comments on reordering regional specialties in Liyue and Inazuma just so happened to be compliant with the order in which they released the items. However, from Sumeru onward, I no longer care.

Ok, but that leaves Nahida high and dry on Kalpalata Lotus, another single case user. Again, the theming works for her, but it isn't really perfect— of course Nahida represents the "looks weak, is a lot more" archetype pretty well, but it isn't exactly congruent with "looks like a lotus, but isn't", because that's more of a question of identity than of power. I mean, I guess our meeting her in the AQ is kind of like that, but that's also a weak argument.

I think, therefore, we should move Nahida to use the Padisarah, which has hitherto only been used by Nilou, fixing another one of our single-character-material problems and allowing us to delete Kalpalata Lotus (or make it a quest exclusive item to Caribert, that would be cool). Like, I hope I don't need to elaborate why the Padisarah is suitable for Nahida, being a "holy and noble" plant descended from GoF and the era of the Three God-Kings of Sumeru, plus it being a calque (more explicitly in CN) of Padishah, the sovereign title used in Persia and beyond, which of course suits Nahida as she is, like it or not, sovereign ruler of Sumeru (would be a nice fuck you to the Sages too).

Sethos

At this juncture, we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Before Sethos was drip-marketed for version 4.7, I would've completely discounted Trishiraite as useless and said to dump it. However, I now have to reconsider, since Sethos has been leaked to use Trishiraite (wow, were they setting this up more than 9 patches ago?).

We don't know much about Sethos, admittedly, but we know he's a desert native and seems to be affiliated with the Temple of Silence and has connections to Cyno (I have not fully played through Cyno SQ II at the time of writing. If you have a more compelling case based on its events, please give spoiler warnings). Given this, Trishiraite seems perfectly reasonable for him, although there is the question of if he's a Temple of Silence member (albeit seemingly opposed to Cyno, given implications in the trailer), why he isn't just using the Scarab, because just read the Scarab lore:

Legend has it that when the desert king ruled this land, the souls of those vanquished by him would be sealed within these insects by the magically-skilled priests at great triumphs held in the City of the Pillars. The scarabs would then be charged with defending the sacred temples and palaces for all eternity in the name of Al-Ahmar. In the end, the temples would collapse and the palaces would fall, and only these golden insects would remain, fulfilling their ancient, forgotten oaths.

Like, even if we don't know Sethos' true role, his Temple of Silence affiliations (?) would make this far more fitting.

But, as you may have noticed, I've been delaying assigning Dehya anywhere. That's because I think if Sethos does use Trishiraite, Dehya should too. Read the description:

During the sun-swallowing battles of that bygone age, even the hardest of stones were set aflame. As the flames of war died out, all that remained from the calamity were these deep-red ores.

Trishiraite is ore born (allegedly) from the flames of the Cataclysm setting fire to stone. Like, it's a very warlike thing, and it's something that might be ok with Sethos but definitely suits Dehya more than Sand Grease Pupa. The thing is, nobody wins here because if I think Sethos suits Scarab more, that leaves Dehya alone on Trishiraite; if I don't, then Sethos + Dehya use Trishiraite while Cyno stays alone on Scarab, which is fine but ugh....

...unless, of course, we put Dehya on Henna Berry, which is very definitely the "female desert ascension material" and annoying stereotypical (fits with Dehya's love of makeup, though). Then we could make Sethos use Scarab alongside Cyno and just delete Trishiraite anyway, but this is a problem I don't want to propose a definitive solution for. I just think that Dehya shouldn't use Sand Grease Pupa, and Sethos seems weirdly better with Scarab, at least for now.

Sethos

Fontaine

(Warning! I am going to be factoring the ascension material of Clorinde and Sigewinne, who were recently drip-marketed for Version 4.7. This is minor leak territory, but if you don't wish to see it, skip the sections labeled Clorinde and Sigewinne.)

Fontaine is obviously still a nation-in-progress, so I'll cut it some slack, however:

Why does Navia use Spring of the First Dewdrop. Please. For the love of god.

Spring of the First Dewdrop is heavily implied to be somewhat related to Primordial Water, which is just—? Can I say how cruel this is for being Navia's ascension material? Like? Navia, who almost dissolved in the Primordial Water??

Although, the description calls it Ichor, which according to Wine Goblet of the Pristine Sea is the 'essence' extracted from Primordial Water, but then we have the question of why Dewdrop's description calls it "a final gift from Egeria" even though it was Remus who isolated and created Ichor, like we know Egeria was the substitute Heart of the Primordial Sea created by the Shade of Life to replace the Hydro Dragon, so technically the creation of Primordial Water is her domain, but this shouldn't even be her "final gift" anyway because logically that would've been literally anything else she did, because she abandoned that Heart role when she ascended to become the Hydro Archon and then died in sacrifice at Tunigi Hollow to repel the Cataclysm—

But this isn't a rant about Genshin lore, this is about the regional specialty. So.

Navia should not be using this. So, what should she be using? I'd suggest Lumidouce (French: soft-light) Bell, given the variety of people with whom Navia has parted and wishes to be reunited with ("Lumidouce Bell is said to represent parting and the wish for reunion"), but given that this is already being used by Chevreuse and Lynette and is absolutely slated for Emilie, the perfumer, whenever she releases ("...is often used for making rare perfumes"), that would be a bit of a crowd when Fontaine still doesn't have many characters.

Chevreuse doesn't really seem to fit Lumidouce Bell, though. Like, every attribute and theming doesn't seem to relate to her, unless you count the events of Roses and Muskets, which is about her personal feelings on justice, not the actual events that happened which could, possibly, fit the parting and reunion theme. So maybe we can boot Chevreuse off to Subdetection Unit, which actually suits her better— it's a detection unit, which gathers data, and it being used by Wriothesley seems like a not-so-subtle indicator that it's used to gather intelligence and for lack of a better word, spy. Which is something that Chevreuse's job involves, as once again demonstrated by Roses and Muskets.

So, with the Chevreuse tangent out of the way, Navia and Lynette can use the Lumidouce Bell. But what about Dewdrop? Should anyone use that?

Well, the obvious argument for Dewdrop as a Primordial Water thing is that Neuvillette should use it. Like, he's the reborn Hydro Dragon— thematically it makes more sense than Lumitoile (French: light-star). Let's again set aside the problem of time (Neuvillette released Version 4.1, Dewdrop came with the Tower of Ipsissimus in Version 4.2) because it makes things boring...

that being said, it's not entirely unreasonable to have Neuvillette use the Lumitoile, and simply delete the Dewdrop instead. Let's examine that below.

Clorinde and Sigewinne

So, what should we do about Lumitoile? If we move Neuvillette to the Dewdrop, that leaves Clorinde the sole user of the Lumitoile, and it's pretty justified in her case given the unsubtle implication of the Lumitoile as an environmental cleaner/digester and Clorinde's job as a Champion Duellist but with the Marechaussee Hunt techniques she inherits. After all, remember it's Clorinde who starts the plan to 'hunt' Furina in the AQ, to entrap her. She's good at hunting and cleaning up, so that makes the Lumitoile quite suited for her...

...Although, there is a scheme I'm cooking up. See, Sigewinne uses the Romaritime Flower, which fits fine with the Hydro stuff just fine, but I was reading the description of the Romaritime Flower, and it said: "Romaritime Flower is said to represent loyalty and unswerving oaths." And what, apart from being a strong hunter, is Clorinde known for?

Clorinde: Mr. Callas' last wish was for me to ensure your safety, and I will not betray his trust.  Like the Faint Moonlight of Yesteryear, in As Light Rain Falls Without Reason, after Clorinde saves Navia and Traveler from the Gardemek attack

It highly depends on what you think her character hinges more heavily on: hunting, or her loyalty/oath-swearing.

As for Sigewinne, using the Lumitoile would also work, because apart from the obvious Hydro theming, the Lumitoile is also about 'underestimation'— "though the weak light they give off is often ignored by divers, these small soft-bodied animals have the remarkable ability to consume and degrade industrial waste." Sigewinne's surprise gun attack in the AQ earns her this, in my opinion.

This is quite a complicated web to unravel. If Neuvillette no longer uses Lumitoile, then either both Clorinde and Sigewinne should use Lumitoile, or neither. Therefore, let's examine two cases.

1: Neuvillette uses Dewdrop. Therefore, nobody else uses Lumitoile, ergo, Clorinde should use Romaritime Flower alongside Sigewinne to avoid the 'single-user' issue.

2: Neuvillette does not use Dewdrop, and that material is deleted from existence. Therefore, Clorinde and Sigewinne can stay with their current specialty materials: Lumitoile and Romaritime Flower respectively.

I like case 2, personally.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself by analysing the ascension materials of characters that haven't released yet. Let's get back to normal.

Clorinde and Sigewinne

Quick recap: Neuvillette uses Dewdrop instead of Navia, and Navia uses Lumidouce Bell in place of Chevreuse, whom we boot off to use the Subdetection Unit. Therefore, we have solved the problem of Navia and Wriothesley being the only user of one ascension material, and realistically we have to leave Neuvillette alone with the Dewdrop because no one else actually makes sense ascending via Primordial Water, what the fuck.

Ahem.

We also leave Furina alone, being the Lakelight Lily dovetails with Erinnyes and the lore of her weapon, Splendour of Tranquil Waters.

So that leaves Charlotte with the Beryl Conch. Hey, Charlotte, what the fuck? Like, the Beryl Conch doesn't have anything visibly in common with her. It glows, and it's not actually a shell but something condensed from elemental energy. It's theorised to have connections to "ancient civilisations". What else? If you take this from Charlotte's 'investigative journalism' angle, perhaps the Conch can symbolise Charlotte digging for the truth, but the "oh perhaps the Conch has marks left by the Hydro Lord or is related to ancient civilisations" is such a weak connection to that kind of "what is the truth" ethos that Charlotte represents.

So, get rid of the Beryl Conch. Then what should Charlotte use? There's an obvious option here: what ascension material have we just talked about that applies to information-gathering, spying, and mechanical parts? What boss did I assign Charlotte to in this post about boss material bloat that also fits her mechanical companion, Monsieur Verite?

That's right.

The former two, as justified above, also share the Subdetection Unit. So why not Charlotte? It's the 'mechanical' ascension material of Fontaine, just like Prototype Cal. Breguet is the corresponding 'mechanical' boss material. Last time, I justified this with the mechanical focus of the three characters: Wriothesley's gauntlets and his rule of the steampunk-themed Fortress of Meropide, Chevreuse's gun and rifle focus, and Charlotte's entire kit and lore revolving around Monsieur Verite in her pursuit of journalism. This applies here, but it gets better because they also share the theming of the Subdetection Unit's 'spying/detection/information-gathering'.

It's so perfect that it feels a bit too perfect, actually, but who am I to complain? This would cut down on another ill-fitting regional specialty and make farming easier for all of us.

***

Thanks for reading! And letting me rant about this. I have problems with how Genshin treats boss and ascension materials with some degree of lore relevancy, only to also throw some of that relevancy out the window when it suits them. It's inconsistent and bothers me, lol.

[fairygodbinch]

I will fight the oceanid 1000 times for you childe

[yoimix]

genshin men + love letters

ft. zhongli, ayato, childe

✽ zhongli knows a thing or two about encasing letters and designing wax stamps, at least enough to send you beautifully intricate ones on your business trips away from the stone harbor. the stamps are lined with tiny, glistening gemstones, in patterns of glaze lilies or violetgrass, sometimes even starconches. you know for a fact, it takes the most skilled of craftsmen to create what he sends you weekly. there is undoubtedly magic in his hands, hands warm with love. he often asks questions in his letters, like he’s trying to commit every little mundane day of yours to his memory. what did you have for lunch? do you miss liyue’s restaurants? sometimes it’s about your health and habits. despite so far from me, i hope you’ve overcome your... deplorable sleeping habits. oh, if you were here, i’d tell you a story. every neat cursive word of his makes you miss him more. perhaps that was his intention; he’s quite cheeky at times, albeit in a subtle way. 

“and when the dragon that slumbers beneath the... are you listening, (name)?”

“huh? oh! i’m so sorry, honey.” you snap out of your thoughts to face the familiar attentive eyes of your lover. to be honest, there’s too much on your mind to focus on the all too comforting lull of zhongli’s voice.

“still thinking about your travels?”

“hah... there’s no escaping your eyes, is there?” you slump into the chair. “i just- i just wish i handled that situation better.”

“with the craftsman from qingce village? i believe you did the right thing.”

“i could’ve helped him!” you sigh, biting your lower lip as though it’ll keep the regret at bay.

a glove hand hooks under your chin to lift your face up. you’re forced to meet his eyes, eyes ever forgiving but only when they gaze at you. “not without overextending yourself. you did the best you could.”

you sigh once more, leaning forward till your forehead rests against his stomach. crossing your legs on the chair, you wrap your arms around his waist and let out a whimper. at times, you feel as though defeat lines every step you take. steps without which you wouldn’t be here, zhongli reminds often, but it is a feeling of loss nonetheless. 

with a soul as ordinary as yours, nothing you do will ever be extraordinary.

despite that, you come home to eyes that shine like freshly printed mora, a smile that surpasses the worth of archaic stones and a kiss rarer than glaze honey. how is an ordinary person in possession of treasure like that?

“i don’t...” i don’t deserve you. that’s what you want to say. but a frown on his handsome face would make you feel worse.

“in all my years, dear, i have never met a soul who resonated quite as much with mine,” he says quietly. “do you still refuse to believe you were made for me? and i, for you?”

“fate is fickle, zhongli.” you shake your head. “i must pave what i want.”

“haven’t you?”

“i should be doing more,” you sigh, the low drumming of his blood keeping you from spiralling. “i always... i always feel like i should be doing more. for you, at least.”

“i ask nothing more from you, my love,” he speaks gently, “than nothing itself. stay with me a while longer.”

you finally cave, letting the weight of your body settle on your lover. you know he’s strong, hands calloused with millenia of experience. but your burdens are your own to bear. aren’t they?

“you’re not on your own,” he whispers into your hair, arm snug around your waist and a hand petting the back of your head. “and you’re certainly in charge of your fate. i’m just glad you chose me.”

you hear it in his voice. love. love you never believed in, for you thought you didn’t deserve it. and all you must do, you realize, is give love back.

✽ ayato ensures the envelope is intricately lined with thick blue ink and stamped with the kamisato crest, glimmering so painfully obvious they’d take him for a fool. there comes many a night the letter is intercepted by an enemy agent with the content: fell for my prank, did you? oh, there’s no grave a mistake as taking kamisato ayato for a fool. ayato’s letters to you are secret, the process to unfurling them far more arcane than anyone other than you can achieve. it’s like a sweet little game, the rules to which only two old friends know. sometimes, he will even send you silly letters full of word puzzles that spell out a cheesy line he picked up from overhearing the gossiping crowd. other times, he speaks of yearning but never explicitly. i grow tired of my retainers’ blabbering every day. not everyone has a melody as pleasant as yours. he never speaks of inazuman affairs, but of the seasons and their effects on the islands, as though political schemes might tear you away from him. he might not be able to defeat gods with his swordmanship but he will do anything in his power to keep the two of you together, no matter how dirty the trick. 

“is it really so comfortable this way?” he muses, fingers combing through your hair idly.

“are you going to comment on how inappropriate it is for me to visit you in your bedchambers?”

“you’re in my bed, darling, that hardly matters now.” he chuckles. “if anything, i’d prefer you here than anywhere else past midnight.”

for this midnight and every single one to come.

you snuggle closer, burying your face in his chest and he sighs, a wash of warmth relaxing his stiff body. it’s difficult for the someone in his position to make time for idle chatter, to the point this feels surreal. but it’s like you weave the thread of time itself, weaving yourself into his schedule effortlessly. a moment to breathe, that’s what you are. morning dare not overstep into this bound. 

ayato shifts his lavender gaze to your form, lips twitching up at how blissful you look. if this were unrequited, he would have been a very different man.

“thank you for entertaining my boredom, (name),” he sighs with satisfaction. 

“boredom? does the oh-so-busy yashiro commissioner feel boredom?”

“you’d be surprised how empty my heart grows without you.”

you smack his chest, eliciting a pained ‘oof’ from him. “that’s hideously cheesy. gosh. are you reading the yae novels again?”

“my dear, there’s no need to resort to violence.” he rubs the part of his chest you hit. it would’ve been less painful were he to have worn anything but an open chest kimono.

“oh please, i’ve hardly delved my blade into as many bodies as you have.”

“it’s just me then? how comforting.”

you roll your eyes. ayato’s deep chuckle follows and the two of you share a laugh.

“say, dear, do you dream of leaving?” 

“hm?”

“do you dislike inazuma in any way? do you yearn for more?”

a heavy silence follows. however, you’re stronger than you were at nineteen. you know how to lift the burden of words. you pull away to sit up, a frown settling on ayato at your action.

“my love,” you begin, cupping his face as his arm pulls you closer. “i am a traveler. but... well, i can journey to a thousand lands, feel the thrill of adventure countless times. yet... i will still have only one home.”

and with the press of your lips to his, with pinky fingers intertwined as you used to have, the promise is sealed.

✽ childe always makes sure to slip a photograph in the envelope, stamped blue in the shape of a narwhal. his skill with a kamera might not be professional but it is good enough to capture his daily observations of the cities he visits, the food he wishes he could buy you and a sneak peek to the souvenirs he bought for you. the writing itself is long, a bit of jargon if you actually read it, but every word from him reeks of affection. i want to show you my favorite liyue restaurant. you smile at the photo of the black back perch stew. did you know inazuma’s cherry blossoms never really wither? you shake your head at his attempt to collect the sakura blooms. i’ll be home soon. and true to his word, ajax will be at your doorstep at midnight with a myriad of souvenirs, kisses and complaints about being away from you for far too long. distance makes him uncontrollably affectionate and you best bet he’ll drench his path in blood if it means getting home to you.

“sometimes i think you only look forward to the gifts i bring, love,” he leans his face onto his palm while you sift through the presents scattered across your bed.

“ooh,” you respond, not looking up. “how did you find me out?”

“hey now.” 

you hear him get off the chair though your eyes are trained on the little carved beetle that was so obviously born from someone with an inability to follow tutorials. 

“did you make the- ajax?”

childe sits cross-legged beside you on the bed, a small smile on his face as he traces your movement with his eyes. you love the hue so much, you’ve preserved the starconches he picked for you as precious reminders to his eventual returns. he promised, after all.

“you’re unnaturally quiet,” you remark, chuckling at his languid expression. “what happened to complaining?”

as a response, he collapses his entire body weight on you, toppling over the both of you and eliciting a yelp out of your mouth, while he sighs loudly.

“you’re not even paying attention to me while i complain.” he pouts into your neck. “what’s the point of that? six months i haven’t held you. show some remorse.”

you breathe out, your arms slowly wrapping around his torso as you try to make the position more comfortable. 

“did you miss me?” he asks, softer this time and muffled against your collarbone.

“so much,” you respond, your arms tightening. “so much that i could almost hear you breathe beside me every night.”

childe exhales, a lighthearted note to it. isn’t it strange how you can get so used to a person? even if they’ve miles away, months away. no matter how many missions he goes on, the way he looks at you is unchanging. of course, he’s grown more protective over you through the years but he feels the same as ever. and you promised him. no matter how soaked his sleeves are with blood, you will stay. he props himself up on his forearms, hovering over you with a wistful grin.

“the one thing they can’t take away, (name),” he whispers, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “lord have mercy if they do.”

[nyxicnymph]

A Yaksha's Birthday

Dear Xiao,

I hope you had a happy birthday! I received your letter and the Starconches, but unfortunately found myself doing too many commissions up until now.

I listened to the Starconches, over and over again. Each time, I thought of you. I might have imagined it, but I swear I could hear your voice through them.

You're special to me, Xiao, so I hope that this letter reaches you when it's supposed to. If it does, then all you have to do is turn around.

Surprise and happy birthday.

~Traveler

[shroomi1e]

at peace with you (xiao x gn!reader)

summary: Xiao has never felt so at peace yet also at war with himself at the same time, your embrace bringing him the very peace that he fights for.

cw: descriptive pain, blood, death, angst

a/n: here have some tissues, you might need them😍🧻i was literally crying and throwing up and shitting bricks as i wrote this😋

· · ───────────── ·𖥸· ────────────── · ·

Xiao is fated to die.

He’s come to accept it over time, and other than protecting Liyue, he has nothing to live for, not even himself. Xiao spends eternity fighting demons, sacrificing his own peace so that others may lead a peaceful life. He has never seen a single day without turmoil and pain, his karmic debt gnawing at his flesh and pulling him apart bit by bit.

But not when he’s around you.

Xiao has never felt so at peace yet also at war with himself at the same time. Your voice lulls the lurking demons around him to sleep and brings him back to himself, your gentle hands grasping his blood-stained ones and pulling him out of the dark bindings of his consciousness.

But to stay with you would be selfish. No matter how dearly he wants to hold you in his arms, Xiao has no choice but to push you away. He’s afraid that once you fall into his embrace, he may never be able to ever let you go. He’ll only get attached and end up hurting you anyways. You’re better off without him.

And even so, your soft voice and feathery touches are simply too tempting for him. He can’t help but indulge himself in you every once in a while, cradling your head in his hand as he rests his face against your shoulder, only to leave once more.

“You must be tired, hm?” After hearing his silence, you only let out a chuckle and stroke his hair soothingly. “I’ll lend you my shoulder if you ever need some shut-eye. Feel free to rest with me anytime.”

It was never enough for Xiao. He often dreams of holding you for an eternity, visions of you replacing the ghouls and nightmares that once plagued his mind. Whenever he holds you, he’s at peace, though he always has to leave you before he can ever utter the three words to let you know how he truly feels.

He often wishes you could rest on his shoulder as you let him rest on yours. To hear your sweet voice call out his name and pull him into an embrace... simply would be too good to be true.

As Xiao is patrolling the beaches of Guyun Stone Forest, he notices the many shells and starconches littered in the sand. He never noticed it until now, since he didn’t have much leisurely time.

He kneels down and picks one up, remembering the many tales he overheard from the people of Liyue Harbor.

“Secret messages?” he mutters to himself. “How foolish. There’s no way mortals actually believe in these sorts of things.”

In contrast to his words, he holds up the shell to his ear and closes his eyes. Behind the hollow winds, he can faintly make out your voice as well as your laughter. Xiao takes it off his ear. Perhaps he’s only hearing what he wants to hear.

“This is ridiculous,” he mumbles as he places the starconch in his pocket.

Xiao sees you like a gentle bird, flying away if you were too scared but getting hurt if held too tightly. Xiao wants nothing more than to protect you and keep you safe, which is exactly why he has to stay away from you as much as possible. It hurts, almost fatally, but it’s all for your sake. Only the heavens know what his karmic debt could do to you.

He ultimately decides to stay away from you for the time being. You don’t deserve to be burdened by him. He’s determined to get through this alone. He’s survived his karmic debt for thousands of years, surely he can live without you, right?

As his visits become less frequent, the demons that haunt his mind pounce on him once more, clawing at his skin and whispering curses into his ears. Xiao is hunched over in pain, his throat tight and his head pounding as he stumbles towards the Wangshuu Inn. He can’t quite remember what happens next except your hands holding him and dragging him upstairs, nestling his body against yours as you whispered reassurances into his ears.

His breathing is haggard and rapid, his fingers gripping your shirt so tightly that they might’ve ripped. He’s begging under his breath for the pain to stop, for the voices to stop plaguing his mind. When he finally begins to calm down, he notices that your body is shaking, eyes teary with worry.

Xiao remains silent, holding you as close as possible instead, knowing very well that it might be the last time he ever does. After a short slumber, he leaves the bed, staring at your face for a few moments, tracing your features with his eyes just in case he forgets. Xiao brings his hand to cup your face and gently strokes your cheek with his thumb before reluctantly tearing his hand away, leaving for good.

“Here.” Xiao held out his hand to you, holding a starconch.

“Hm?”

“I heard that starconches contain voices of people, and were used in order to send messages. I was not able to hear anything, unfortunately. But as long as I can hear your voice, I don’t really care. I have no use for it, so... take it.”

You took the starconch from his hand, holding it up to your ear. “Hmm, perhaps you could put a message in it for me. That way I’ll be able to hear your voice whenever I want to!”

“Hmph. You don’t need to resort to such childish ways just to hear my voice. You know I’ll come to you in a heartbeat if you ever call out my name.”

Weeks and months pass by, and Xiao’s pain is only worsening. The demons are eating at his flesh more and more, and the voices only grow louder, his head throbbing as he can feel himself become more and more consumed by his karmic debt every day. Not a day goes by where he doesn’t crave your embrace and your touch to ease his pain, or for your voice to put him into a peaceful sleep. But he just can’t.

It’s especially worse this one time. Xiao’s polearm is off to the side as the young yaksha trembles on the ground, covered in a cold sheen of sweat. A large gash covers his stomach, the blood bleeding through his white shirt, the remainder of his body covered in scratches and scars. A dark mist surrounds him, torturing his conscience and eating away at his mind. He’s starting to feel lightheaded, his muscles slowly becoming numb from the pain. His arms eventually give in, leaving him laying on the ground, his body limp.

Xiao’s vision is dimming, but he uses whatever strength he has left to get to you. In a blink of an eye, he’s at the Wangshuu Inn, where you quietly sit on your bed as you drink tea. Drops of blood are staining the rug as he limps over to you, but it’s no matter. As you notice the state he's in, he hears your cup shatter against the floor as you dash over to his side.

He can barely hear what you’re saying, but Xiao can tell you’re panicking, your voice quaky as you bring his face into the nape of your neck, stroking his head as you whisper something repeatedly into his ears. It seems quite familiar to the last time you’ve seen him, his head resting on your shoulder as you scramble together a way to make everything okay.

Initially, he believed that nothing could be worse than the pain he’s in right now, that is until he hears your quiet sobs, your tears staining his shoulder. Xiao feels as though he’s slowly crumbling apart as your tears fall down your cheeks. To make you cry was the last thing he wanted to do and yet here you are, sobbing as you hold him for the last time.

You attempt to let go of him to go seek help, but Xiao stops you by grabbing your wrist, gripping it tightly despite the burning pain in his limbs, urging you to stay. Through his ragged breathing, he barely musters out a few words.

“Stay... for a bit...”

You reluctantly obey, wiping your tears with your sleeves. You lift Xiao’s body to hold him in your arms, hoping that he can at least be at peace for his last few moments. As he’s sitting down, his arms are limp around your waist, his head resting against your shoulder.

“I’ll lend you my shoulder if you ever need some shut-eye. Feel free to rest with me anytime.”

Perhaps Xiao would come to rest with you one last time and finally take the long nap that he had been wishing for. He raises his arm weakly to gently wipe your tears, not minding that his gloves are stained with blood.

“Please, don’t cry.” Xiao’s breathing begins to shallow as he cups your face with his hand. “Just... let me get some... shut-eye.”

He breathes his final breath, his eyelids falling heavily as he goes limp in your arms.

You feel Xiao’s body rest completely against yours, his arm falling from your face and back to his side. His body turns cold, your tears falling onto his face as you cradle his head in your hands, holding onto him tighter than ever before. Despite your sorrow, his eyes are closed, a sense of peace on his face. After battling so hard for the peace of the people, Xiao can finally get the peace that he deserves.

A part of him is sorry. Sorry that he couldn’t be there for you all the time, sorry that he wasn’t kinder to you, and sorry that he couldn’t give you everything he truly wanted to. But Xiao now knows you’ll always be safe, safe from him. The yaksha doesn’t wish for you to cry for him anymore; he wishes for you a life of peace, one that he could never have.

Sometimes, you can still hear his voice contained in the starconch, delicate whispers and sweet words filling your ears. You hope that you’ll be able to see him again one day, perhaps in Celestia. Something is reassuring about his death, now that you know he’s finally at peace.

And maybe when you see him again, he’ll be even more at peace, at peace with you.

[cno-inbminor]

iterum vivere (childe/tartaglia)

a/n: wow, it’s been fucking forever. first genshin fic featuring childe/tartaglia!!! a very huge thank you to @suspensin​ for reading this over and being my rock and support, and i love her so fucking much. I couldn’t have finished this without her!

plot: reincarnation and modern/uni!au ft. afab reader!traveler with she/they pronouns x childe/tartaglia 

-- in which meeting childe is a bit of a dangerous game of push and pull

wc: 12.1k; angst + fluff

warnings:  DOES CONTAIN IN-GAME SPOILERS (1.5? 1.6? + story quest and idek) and NSFW MENTIONS (mdni to be safe). there’s no explicit smut but thoughts do run a bit wild here and there

EDIT: Altered ChiLumi version now posted on AO3 here!

“Haven’t we met before?”

The shine in your eyes does nothing to hide your curiosity, head even tilting a little in observation. He watches them scan his face for any recognizable features, but attempts to focus on the strange, taut string of déjà vu that pulls him toward you. In a moment of absentmindedness, he had heard a faint voice call out his name from your direction. Confusion overtook him as you weren’t looking at him, but something inside his brain said that it had to be from you. And so his feet redirected his path towards your figure in the student union building, as if on a mission.

“A fucking whale, Childe?”

Oh.

“I don’t think so…?” You trail off, curiosity now replaced by perplexed feelings. “Do we have a class together?”

I think I would’ve noticed you by now if you were.

“Ah, what’s your major?” Childe asks quickly to avoid listening to the little voice in his head.

“History and anthropology, you?”

“Economics, but I’ve taken a history course for core credits. Maybe it was then?”

“With Dr. Zhong?”

“Yes!” He snaps his fingers. Part of his brain decides to usefully function and scan his memories to see if he remembers your face or head of hair in the lecture hall then. “Last year? Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 to 11:20?”

“Actually, yeah,” you affirm in surprise. You think you would remember the relatively attractive ginger in your class, but honestly, it had all been such a blur and you were often pretty sleepy during class. Dr. Zhong didn’t quite appreciate it, but you made up for it with your exam and essay grades, as well as paying better attention in some of his other courses.

“Did you need me for anything?”

“I’d like for you to come visit and meet my family.”

He’s really not appreciating this extra voice speaking for him.

“Well…uh…” Childe stammers and looks away sheepishly, hand rubbing the back of his neck. He honestly had no reason for approaching you, and now, he just looks like a desperate idiot. Think quick, he tells himself, floundering for some shitty excuse.

“I wanted to, uh, take another history course as an elective and um, wanted to know if you had any recommendations?”

“Oh,” you blink. That’s a first. When he meets your gaze, the swirling shades of sapphire strike something deep within you. Flashes of events you can’t make out go by in the blink of an eye, but then you realize you’ve been staring for too long. Blood rushes to your cheeks because you don’t exactly want this guy to get the wrong idea from you, because how are you supposed to explain, “I’m sorry, but I think we have met before, but just a really, really long time ago, and we might’ve been more than just acquaintances because that’s what it feels like?”

“I think you’d like Teyvat Mythology,” your voice wavers on the verge of cracking. “Dr. Zhong might have a TA this time around, but Xiao’s a great teacher. Doesn’t have long, rambling anecdotes, but explains things well and gets straight to the point.”

“C-cool, I’ll look into it,” Childe replies and smiles brightly. “I’ll head out then,” jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, where he just realized he left a grouchy Scaramouche waiting by a vending machine, newly purchased Starbucks Tripleshot drink in hand. “Nice seeing you, (y/n).”

He scurries off before you both realize that you never told him your name.

“Who’s that?” Scaramouche asks, jutting his chin in your vague direction.

“Someone from my Intro to Liyuean History course last year,” Childe waves off. “Come on, let’s go before the line at the pasta bar gets too long.”

-

The next time you see Childe is by accident, traversing across an open field of grass that many students like to sit out on to relax with friends, sunbathe, hold events, or play casual team sports if room permits.

You had your earbuds in and were scrolling through social media when laughter rang above all other sound, causing your head to snap up and swivel around to find the source. And while it might’ve been strange to an outsider, your steps immediately slowed as you watched the man of your tiring, vivid dreams sprint in your direction, eyes pinned on a frisbee heading towards him.

He’s wearing a grey sports tank and basketball shorts, headband holding back his bangs as he makes a slight jump in the air to catch the plastic disc between his palms. His feet plant into the grass as he looks for someone to pass it to, and you watch (with embarrassment) the muscles in his throwing arm relax and tighten with practice, frisbee steadily soaring through the air in a beautiful arc towards a teammate. He then lightly jogs to get closer to his group, but then his back stiffens.

Before your instincts kick in for you to turn and bail, he looks over his shoulder and stares straight at your now stunned self.

The sole ruby earring that glints in the sunlight catches your attention, and you recall your dreams of terrifyingly dark, violet electric power, blades of water rushing toward you, and then the stomach-churning sensation of falling from great heights pours concrete into your veins—

Childe looks a little amused for having your sole focus, hand lifting up for a quick wave. And as you numbly return the greeting, your heart beats out, “Run from him.”

And so with the flight response pulsing and firing from your synapses, you abruptly speed walk away, almost breaking out into a sprint towards your dorm. You ignore his pointed, confused look, and pretend you don’t feel the two holes of imaginary fire searing into your back. It isn’t until you’re laying back in bed that you release a huge sigh of relief and pray to a deity you don’t believe in that those eyes of mirth will not haunt you tonight.

But of course, with a deity that doesn’t exist, the prayers go unanswered.

-

“Do you believe in any of the mythology you teach?” You ask Xiao about a few days later when you stop by his cubicle. Luckily, no one else is around for this conversation, and Xiao has always been kind enough to humor your thoughts. Granted, he might feel obligated because you had asked Dr. Zhong to be your advisor for your undergraduate Honors thesis, and Xiao was directed to be your receiver of some general questions and source of information if he wasn’t around.

A quick scan of your complexion tells Xiao everything he needs to know. Your eyes are overtaken with rumination and exhaustion, haziness clouding them as you seem to ponder over your own question. It’s not often that you ask him anything not related to your thesis or coursework.

“Perhaps there’s some sense and truth to the tales passed down,” he softly muses. “What makes you ask?”

You lift yourself to sit on the clean area next to his computer, legs slowly swaying back and forth. “It might sound crazy but...I’ve been having dreams lately. They feel too real, too natural to be anything that my mind would make up. I’ve never had the most creative imagination by any means, which is why there’s some comfort to me being a history major, but I can’t shake these.”

“So why ask me about the mythology?”

“...the Archons are there. I even dreamt that I met the Geo and Anemo Archons. And they controlled various elements, just like we were taught.”

You don’t notice that Xiao has ceased his rapid typing, fingers hovering over the keyboard before one hand removes his glasses from his face. He uses the other to rub his eyes and softly pinch the bridge of his nose before sliding the frames back on. Dark, golden amber eyes survey you as you grapple with the unfathomable possibilities of your nightly visions, at least until you shake your head in disbelief at yourself and lightly scoff.

“Who am I kidding?” You ask no one in particular. “Maybe I’ve been doing too much research and everything’s mixing together.”

“You’re ahead of schedule, if that provides any consolation.”

“Some.”

-

It takes Childe a grand total of one minutes and 53 seconds to sign up for Teyvat Mythology for the spring semester.

-

WInter in Liyue is only slightly miserable, being so close to the ocean. It’s chillier than usual on this dreary day, yet something compelled you to exit your dorm and shakily make your way to the campus coffee shop for a warm drink. Coffee, hot chocolate, you haven’t quite decided yet, but just as you let yourself bask in the warm building, familiar ginger hair and blue eyes wash away the comfort.

Or do they douse you in security?

They remind you of your recent dreams that now have shifted away from stress and violence to easygoing summer days by the oceanside, running barefoot in the sand while collecting beautifully patterned azure starconches. Sometimes, you thrust a hand towards an oversized four-leaf clover on a wooden stake with the power of wind and catch yourself in the air, soaring and looking around to find more of the little shells. Other nights, they consist of climbing steep cliffs, only to sit at the edge in the clouds with fatigue wracking through your system and marvel at the view before you.

Someone’s always with you though, ruby earring and maroon mask and cobalt blue gem hanging from the waist, sprinting with you, playfully tackling you down, pulling you up towards mountain peaks, laying their head on your shoulders, brushing their lips against your cheek--

You welcome the change of peace in those dreams, but only because they don’t leave you quite as tired the next day, as if you’d been avoiding an inescapable dark force.

Part of you wants the burning question of why this person, this man, in all his glory and brightness, affects you so fucking much when you barely even know the guy -- why looking at him sends your heart to lodge itself in your esophagus, why your lungs feel like they’re so close to being completely collapsed under the weight of his stare, why feeling like you’re trapped and  caught between wanting to run towards yet away from him.  It makes no sense, and you’re tired of trying to make sense of anything you don’t exactly want to remember from your dreams for some, once again, inexplicable reason.

But there’s no time to think as he quickly ambles towards you, your own feet shuffling forward to meet him in a warped reference of a distance that constitutes to “the middle” before you can stop yourself. Your shivering hasn’t quite stopped yet, and Childe seems to take notice of it.

“Pretty cold out there,”  he softly states. It’s cute, the way you’re curling in on yourself to retain some warmth.

“Y-yeah, not sure why I decided I really needed something warm to drink right now,” you reply and avoid his gaze. He watches you peer over his shoulder to squint at the menu display hanging from the ceiling, seemingly contemplating on what you should get.

“How about I get yours today? My treat for your class recommendation last time.” Anything to keep you here longer. Childe doesn’t realize how much he’s missed you, which confuses him, and chooses to ignore the fact that he’d been camping himself at the study tables in the building where the history department is located in hopes of even just catching a quick glimpse of you.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you immediately attempt to subvert his generous offer, hands shooting out from your jacket pockets and waving in rejection. “It was nothing.”

“Please?” Childe puts on his best puppy eyes before reaching for one of your wrists, gently tugging you to the register. “Just this once?”

You want so badly to squash the tiny flare of disappointment that erupts in your chest from the newly acquired knowledge that this was just a one time thing. Do econ majors hate to feel in debt? That they must be even with everyone, or would rather have people indebted to them than the other way around?

There’s no time to think when Childe gives the cashier his order before turning to you, and without wanting to waste anyone’s time, you rattle off your usual beverage. He’s quick in fishing out his student ID to spend some of his campus currency, shooting you a boyish grin when you pout at your half-opened wallet.

“Go take that table over there,” he says, pointing to one in the corner by some windows. “I’m gonna tell my friends to go on without me.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude or pull you away from them,” you slightly panic. The sooner you can leave, the better. Right? “You don’t need to sit with me, I was just gonna head back to my dorm.”

“I insist. Go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

Why your brain takes his orders over your own is a mystery in and of itself, because before you know it, you’re plopped down in one of the lounge seats and staring off into space, mind reeling over the last two minutes. You pretend you can’t hear the way Childe’s friends nudge his arm playfully with their shoulders, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively as Childe tries to get them to stop being nonsensical.

“You’re gonna scare them off,” he hisses at them, hands pushing at their backs so they could finally leave him to his devices.

“Not before you do!” One of them laughs and Childe groans at their antics. “All right, all right, we’ll go. They’re cute though, might steal them if you don’t make a move.”

The darkening of the aura surrounding Childe is too quick for them to fully process, not before he dampens any of their fleeting hopes with a, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

But it disappears just as fast when his and your drinks are called out, and he gives them one last shove before retrieving your to-go cups. Childe directs all his focus towards the seat diagonally from yours as opposed to the one that’s straight across, and you’re sharply ripped away from whatever reverie you let yourself slip into.

“Thank you,” you murmur, hands cupping the drink and feeling the heat seep into your fingertips. “You really didn’t have to, it was nothing big.”

“Can you blame me for just trying to find an excuse to finally talk to you?” He asks without a skip and you can’t tell if the quickening of your heartbeat is from a looming sense of doom or excitement. Those eyes, the tiny swirls of the ocean, blue like those shells buried in the sand--

It takes three seconds too long for you to understand where he was going with in his words, and part of you feels unamused at his smooth talking. You’ve always guarded yourself against guys like Childe, devilishly handsome who know their way around language semantics, ready to pull you in and just as ready to push you away. That (possibly unfair) bias, coupled with everything else you’ve been feeling for him, sounded the alarms and set the walls up around your heart. Perhaps you need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, because Childe immediately retracts his forwardness.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I promise I’m not looking for anything in return and you don’t owe me anything, but I really did just...want to sit and talk and...get to know you?” Childe trails off a little towards the end. Your body loosens up and relaxes just a tiny bit, feeling bad for your snap judgment. Let the guy do something nice, don’t look into it too much, you tell yourself. It’s a coffee, not a five-course dinner.

You reach out a hand towards him, small smile across your lips, ready for his to join yours in a quick handshake. “I’m (y/n), senior history and anthropology double major. It’s nice to meet you.”

The pounding of your heart against your ribcage has nothing to do with the shimmering of his eyes, nothing to do with the fact that his hand fits with yours just right, and nothing to do with the fact that an eerily similar voice from your dreams whispers, “I love you.”

You learn a number of things about Tartaglia in the four hours, like his family members and their respective interests, which classes he did and didn’t enjoy taking, certain takes on Schnezhnayan politics, his own various hobbies, crazy accidents from the occasional college parties, and more. He’s a bit of an open book, probably telling you way more than any regular person would, and definitely more than anything you revealed during all this time. Everything you tell him seems surface level, nothing too deep. The walls are still there to protect you from the unexplainable, profound feelings his presence seems to elicit, and luckily, he doesn’t prod any further. Childe feels the resistance and respects it, which just adds more brownie points in your book, and you almost feel bad for having given so little in return.

“I wish we were taking Teyvat Myth together,” he sighs when walking you back to your dorm, hands stuffed in his pockets. His ruby earring catches the light from the sunset, the shade almost complimentary to the golden amber rays that streak across the sky. “Would’ve helped having a history major in there.”

“Is that all I am to you, an answer bank?” You jokingly ask, but he watches concerningly as you shoot your gaze to the ground, mindfully stepping over the cracks between concrete slabs.

“Of course not,” a gentle sincerity reaches you, giving you the confidence to make eye contact with him. “I’m sorry for making it sound like that, it wasn’t my intention. I really just meant it as a way of saying if the professor or TA ended up being a total bore, then well, having you would make it more fun.”

“I’m sure I’d bore you even more,” chuckling, speeding up to get away. You’re growing too comfortable in whatever atmosphere Childe has created, like an enclosed air bubble bobbing gently in the depths of the sea and letting the waves carry you both to whichever ends of the earth.

“Hey,” he interjects, hand reaching out to stop you with a soft yank of your wrist. There is no resisting force from you, feet stepping backward until he meets you eye to eye. It’s unfair in the way that he can render you motionless by standing just an inch from you, arms brushing with his head tilted closer to your own. “Seriously, I’m glad we did this today. Are you?”

No, because now I don’t know what to think, I don’t know who you are, I’m not any closer to figuring out why you terrify yet leave me so enamoured with you, I’m torn between punching and kissing you and--

“Yes,” you subconsciously answer, brain immediately short-circuiting to scold yourself. “I had fun.”

His grin, charming, devilish, is so so bright, bright enough to rival the Liyue sun that sits on the pier, on the edge of the ocean, bright enough to rival the love that your fraternal twin showers you with on a daily basis. You want time to stop right here because you’re almost sick of the voice settled deep within your heart that screams, “Don’t get comfortable, you must run from him!”

“Good. Let’s do this again?” And you nod, of course you do. Foolish you. “Don’t be a stranger!” He calls out as he turns on his heel and waves over his shoulder, hand raised in the air, and you’re suddenly transported to another scene, a less refined version of the Liyue Harbor, watching as the head of ginger hair with a red mask in a flashier attire of grey and maroon walks away from you and onto a roaring, magnificent ship; big, ivory sails only seen in books and museums. It’s the same gesture of “see you later”, and just before he turns, you blink, and you’re back to seeing your campus again.

But Childe does look back once, warm and content that you’re still standing there, watching over him, and he can’t help but think about when he can spend time with you again, because suddenly, it truly feels like there’s not enough of it anymore.

-

“Excuse me, what’s a Red Bull?”

The last thing, or person rather, you expect to see on the last day of finals for the fall semester, is a small boy who looks way too young to be here, tugging on the sleeve of your windbreaker. He’s at most eleven, ten maybe, but he has eerily similar characteristics, as well as an accent that doesn’t quite belong to most Liyue natives. Still gathering your bearings from your own perusing of the fridges that hold all the possible beverages a college student could consume, you kneel down until you’re at eye level with the child.

“Repeat that for me? Are you looking for a Red Bull, you say?”

“Yes!” He beams and holds out a student ID that most definitely doesn’t belong to him. “My brother asked me to grab him one because he was busy with something.”

Your eyes flit over to the top shelves where the aforementioned cans of caffeine are located, and definitely too high for someone of his height to reach. “I’ll grab one for you. Did he ask for a specific flavor?”

“Nope, he said regular. Thanks, you’re really nice! Do you know my brother?” He asks, waving the ID at you so you can get a better look at the name. That’s definitely a face you recognize, but the name leaves you confused.

“Yeah, um,” glance over again, “I know...Ajax…”

“He’s the best toy seller in the whole world!”

Somehow, it suits him much better than Childe or Tartaglia, and you’re not quite sure what toys have anything to do with the matter at hand. Speaking of hands, the little boy grabs yours in sheer delight. “Can you take me back to his room? I kinda forgot the directions he told me, and everything’s so big around here.”

“Sure, just let me buy something, too, and I’ll take you.”

“Okay!”

The cashier isn’t the least bit fazed by the little brunette at your side -- it’s always common for family members to come in around the end of semesters to pick up kids or visit, and being an open building with snacks and drinks and a stopping point of most tours, they’ve seen it all. You even let him pick out a bag of chips and a candy bar for himself for being so polite and not a complete menace, paying with your own campus currency.

Teucer, as you’ve learned in the last two minutes, likes to point out things and ask you questions. Luckily, you have answers to most of them and do your best to pad the time, enjoying the feeling of a tiny hand wrapped around three of your fingers. It’s sweet to any normal passerby, believing they’re witnessing an older sister doting on their little brother around the holidays, but to Childe, seeing the tender sweetness on your face as you nod along to whatever Teucer is rambling about to you, sets his heart aflame. He’s already constantly on the verge of wanting to hug and kiss you and never let go, but you haven’t made any indication that you could potentially like him back, and this is just torture.

“Look what they bought me!” Teucer shoves his rewards in Childe’s face as if he had extremely poor eyesight, and you can’t help but laugh a little as you set his Red Bull down on his desk, clutching your own preferred beverage while looking around his room. Finals must have gotten to him with the unusual lack of tidiness in the small space, some laundry strewn here and there, a couple boxes of eaten microwave dinners in the metal wire trash can, some textbooks left open and marked with more sticky notes than you’ve ever seen. You’d only been here once before to drop off some food that he desperately messaged you about, stuck doing a project that he just couldn’t step away from.

“Pretend you don’t see the mess,” Childe pleads, handing a kid tablet to his brother but holding on before Teucer can take it. “What do you say to our nice friend here for buying you these snacks?”

“Thank you!”

“It was nothing,” you shyly smile, ruffling his hair. “I enjoyed meeting you.”

“Wait, what’s your name again?”

“It’s (Y/n).”

“Okay, (y/n)! Wait…(y/n)..as in…”

Teucer trails off and gives a look to his brother, one that spells curiosity and trouble, before he grabs your hand and pulls you into a corner. Any movement Childe makes to leave his desk chair is immediately squashed by Teucer’s disapproval, and the older man is left to helplessly worry when you’re told to squat down so secrets can be whispered into your ear.

“He talks about you a lot whenever he calls home,” and you want to laugh at Tecuer’s attempt to sound as scandalous as possible. “All the time! I think he likes you, like, like like.”

Oh. Oh dear.

“What makes you say that?” You whisper back, indulging both yourself and him, yet also internally snickering at how troubled Childe looks.

“Sometimes, he video calls mama, but we’ll all sit around and talk, and whenever he’s talking about how he saw you or something, he just looks...happy. Really happy.”

The surprise on your face does nothing to settle Childe’s nerves and he’s about to start wringing his hands together. Whatever Teucer was telling you couldn’t be good, probably embarrassing, like the one time he unceremoniously fell on his ass while ice skating over a frozen lake, or when he tried fitting fifteen marshmallows in his mouth and nearly choked on them when their mother caught them in the act, or--

“I think he just thinks of me as a good friend,” you try to inform Teucer, not letting yourself get any semblance of hope. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“If you say so,” Teucer pouts. But then he stops whispering and bounds over back to his brother, grabbing the tablet before plopping down on the half-made bed.

“Look, I was overconfident and thought I could execute a perfect single loop on the ice, but there was a rock and I lost balance and--”

“I wasn’t being told any stories about you falling on ice, but do tell me more,” you chuckle and take some joy in watching the blush spread across his cheeks. It’s easy to tell that he’s mentally berating himself for jumping to conclusions.

“Well, first off, thanks for buying him all that, and my drink, too,” he sighs. “I spoil him enough as it is.”

“I can see why it’s hard not to,” you smile knowingly. “So is it just him here? Where’s the rest of your family?”

“Funny story, he somehow managed to convince my parents to let him come here on his own as his first ever plane flight, so I had to pick him up yesterday from the airport. He’s flying back with me tomorrow.”

“And the RA?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Ah...well...what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him? Speaking of, what was Teucer whispering to you about?”

There’s a pensiveness that overtakes you when you look at Teucer again, who’s happily playing some sort of game and completely oblivious to the rest of his surroundings. You won’t, can’t, take his words to heart, and will take them with a grain of salt at most.

“Nothing important. Although I did learn something new...Ajax?”

“Say my name -- fuck, say it, please--”

“I guess cat’s out of the bag,” he chuckles and looks away, absolutely unaware of the flare of heat that swirls in your stomach from the fleeting vision just now. “I came up with other nicknames as a kid to seem cooler, and they just stuck with me. Plus, the business world is full of people who just want something from you, or just a transactional relationship. I’d rather not give my real name to them, if you know what I mean.”

“That’s fair,” you nod and lean to sit on the edge of his desk. A thought pops into your head and you turn the words over in your head like a washing machine on the spin setting, teeth gnawing on the flesh of your bottom lip. If Teucer hadn’t been in the room, he would’ve been this close to kissing you.

“But if it’s worth anything,” your voice slowly, softly starts, cautious and wary of your thoughts. “I think...Ajax suits you best.”

Curse fate. Curse the legendary Archons. Curse karma and deities and spirits because all he wants to do right now is stand and tower over you, trap you between himself and his desk so you can’t escape, take those pretty lips between his until they’re bruised and swollen because of him, hear you call out his name in the throes of pleasure so he can finally replace his fantasies with tangible memories. The unnatural, magnetic pull that draws him to you is unbearable now -- he feels like he’ll lose the last tendrils of his sanity if he doesn’t do something.

You can’t stop him from slowly reaching out to grab one of your hands, lifting it towards him until he’s close enough for you to feel his breath ghost over your knuckles. It sends a shiver down your spine and blood is pounding in your ears because you can’t begin to fathom what he’s thinking about while doing this, even more so when his lips make contact with your skin and your breath hitches, stuck in your throat as he languidly peeks at you beneath his eyelashes with a heated gaze, then lowly confessing, “My name sounds best when you say it.”

Good heavens.

It’s difficult to swallow and keep your composure, especially when Teucer yells out in glee over, what you can assume, beating something in his game, and Childe drops your hand. But his dilated pupils don’t retract in the slightest, refusing to let you look away so that maybe, you can understand what he’s trying to convey to you. He’s taking the first step because he’s terrible and can’t contain his self-control anymore, pushing the ball into your court, ready for you to either play or exit into the sidelines.

When you do blink, there’s a vision of your naked body wrapped around another, limbs clinging desperately to a sturdy and panting frame. Lips, much like the ones that have seared themselves onto your knuckles, are at your neck and sucking, biting, before moving to your ear and laying filthy words into them that drive you closer to the edge. It all happens so fast that you feel you’ve just experienced whiplash, yet also feeling secondhand embarrassment at how lewd some of these thoughts have been.

You can’t stay here any longer.

“I-I have to go,” spills off your tongue before you can really think about it. The way the haze shatters in his eyes is heartbreaking in its own way, but there’s no time for you to explain. Your brain is in overdrive and eager to run, run, run. It detects danger on all fronts, but you muster out a, “H-have a good break, come find me next semester, mmk?”

And you’re out the door with inhuman speed. When the door clicks shut, only then does Teucer look up from his screen and frown at the lack of your presence. “Where’d they go?”

Chlide doesn’t seem to hear him, and Teucer has never seen his big brother look so sad and confused before.

-

He holds on to that last tendril of hope, because mark his words, he will find you come January.

-

After about a week at home, enjoying the festive time with his family and mildly unconcerned about next year’s courses because that was a problem for another day, Childe has his first, crazy, nonsensical dream.

At least, that’s what he tells himself when he snaps awake and his body aches with exhaustion. Not only are his joints in agony, he also feels like he’s sporting unforeseen bruises, which makes absolutely no sense because he hasn’t done anything that would warrant them, no matter how much he and his brothers do some rough-housing. His night of sleep was all consumed by flashes and scenes of weapon fighting, lucid enough to remember feeling his arms flex and wield bows and double-headed polearms and being cognizant of all the enemies??? surrounding him. They ranged from deranged looking monsters, floating beings with soulless masks, and large humans in electricity-padded armor, to behemoth machines in the sky that could leave you within an inch of your life thanks to a drill for a hand?!

But what’s even worse is that you seem to have managed a deal with Morpheus himself and infiltrated his dreams. You were there, too, sometimes fighting with him, sometimes against him, much to his dismay, and while it was nice, he just didn’t get it. Why the friendliness and hostility? Why was there an anger that overtook him when looking directly at you, parrying your blade and sending harmful arcs of water toward your figure?

Why did he relish the fear in your eyes when he darted towards you with electricity cracking through the air?

There’s an overwhelming sensation now to grab his phone to text you and apologize -- for what, he can’t fathom and there are no words to accurately convey what he’s thinking. “Hey, sorry for wanting to kill you in my dream :( “? Or “Sorry for being a friend but then stabbing you in the back, but then being nice to you again”?

And the only thing that really made sense was the serenity and contentment that would course through his veins as the two of you danced around on ivory sandy beaches, picking up shiny blue starconches and taking down more weird creatures; the breathlessness when you would fall back into the water and re-emerge to reconfirm his beliefs that you were one of the most beautiful humans he’d ever laid his eyes on; the love--

Hold the fuck up.

He doesn’t love you. He likes you a whole lot and he’s severely and deathly attracted to you, but he doesn’t love you. Your existence has only been made known to him for about two months, and he didn’t really start talking to you until three weeks in. So no matter how comfortable he feels with you, no matter how much he wishes that you were sleeping peacefully next to him so his nights wouldn’t feel so lonely, it was too early, too hasty, to say that he loves you.

“I’ve been wondering, why didn’t you bring them home?” His mother asks him out of nowhere during breakfast, all to add to this extremely tumultuous roller-coaster morning he’s been having. All he wants to do is eat his bowl of milk and cereal, then potentially go back to sleep before fulfilling his promise to go with his siblings to the nearby skating rink. It takes everything in him to not choke on his spoon of grains.

“Agreed, didn’t you mention they didn’t really have any family to go back to and that the move to Liyue was semi-permanent?” His father chimes in, laying a quick peck on his wife’s temple. “It’s never fun to spend the holidays alone.”

“They would’ve felt like they were intruding,” Childe replies quietly, stabbing his bowl a few times before scooping up another spoonful of cereal to his mouth. “I know we’re friends, but we haven’t known each other for that long, and maybe they’d be uncomfortable because that’s a lot honestly…”

“You don’t know until you try,” his mother sings and pats him on the shoulder. “We do have a guest room after all.”

“For them and their twin?”

“And quite a comfortable futon with enough blankets.”

Childe smiles fondly at his parents’ kindness. He can only imagine what this winter break would’ve been like now -- you and your twin floating around, trying to help out with certain chores, sitting by the fireplace and watching TV, huddled up with mugs of hot chocolate, playing board games with everyone and engaging in all the shenanigans…

Laughing. Loving. Grinning. Basking.

Handing over one of his hoodies to you as a sick way of torturing yet blessing himself for seeing how lovely you look in his clothes, standing silently in the doorway as you attempt to help out with mealtimes next to his mother, watching you run around in the backyard and dodging his siblings’ snowballs while lodging a few of your own -- how wonderful it all would be.

But he squashes it down as quickly as possible, because you escaped his grasp. You ran away from his advances temporarily and even though you gave him permission to seek you out come the spring semester, he worries that you might take it back. Something will wake up inside of you to keep him out of your heart and your life, and he’s not confident enough at this point to believe there’s a good chance you will come spend the holidays with him and his family next year.

“Maybe next year, ma,” he sends her a hesitant, yet somewhat broken purse of his lips that’s just the least bit curved. It tells her everything he’s thinking, and the quick patting of his cheek lets him know she understands.

Half an hour later, Childe finds himself curled up on his side under the sheets, phone in hand as he stares at a blinking cursor. It shouldn’t be so hard to send a text to convey his holiday greetings, because that’s all it is -- part of him is becoming desperate and aching for some interaction with you, even if it’s just a text sent back for conventional social pleasantries. He’ll take it for now, right?

Before he can totally chicken out, his thumbs quickly type a, “Happy Holidays, (y/n) :)”, and it’s a little embarrassing how quickly after he hits the ‘send’ button that he tosses it over his shoulder so he’s not directly looking at it anymore. His heartbeat is too quick and he prays for no phantom vibrations or phantom sound notifications to avoid any disappointment of thinking he got a reply. It was a harmless text, yet he’s treating it like he just got assigned on a mission to go and murder someone for the first time. What will he do if you never text him back? Does that mean you really don’t want to talk to him? Are you dead in a ditch somewhere? Did you change numbers and not tell him? Did your twin get all the details and make the executive decision to block his number? Will he never get a chance to talk to you again, even if it’s about something in the Teyvat Mythology class next semester? Will you--

His shoulder screams in protest when he quickly flips himself over at the text notification sound, hands shakily unlocking his phone and opening up your conversation again. His heart rate significantly decreases, reaching back to its normal pace, especially as he reads the little words on his screen.

“Happy Holidays, Ajax ^^”

There is hope.

-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

You’re huddled under the comforter of your twin’s bed, phone just peeking above the edge as you stare at it with a brightness in your eyes. For the most part, you had been sulking there, apart from meals and going back to your own room to sleep, and mentally berating yourself for the way you reacted to Childe the week before.

“He just texted me to say happy holidays,” shrugging to put on a facade of indifference. It’s stupid that you’re trying to hide your feelings from your twin of all people, who could pick apart and identify your emotions in a heartbeat. A roll of his eyes lets you know that you haven’t fooled him at all.

“So you think that whatever comment he made, which was very suggestive and indicative of clearly non-platonic feelings, was just something...friendly? Remind me again how you came to that conclusion?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking!” You whine, looking around to see if there was anything you could toss at him. “It’s just, with everything, all the dreams and stupid gut feelings, I just -- I don’t know, okay?? I can’t tell you enough how much I wish I had just kissed his stupid face and see where it goes from there.”

“Okay, gross, but don’t beat yourself up. Though...I do have a good idea on how to maybe get a good reaction out of him. You wanna go to the New Years’ celebration at Xiangling’s?”

“I think she’d threaten me with a knife if I didn’t. She wanted to go shopping at some point, too.”

“I’ll drop the overprotective brother act for one night, okay? One night, just to let this happen, and for your peace of mind.”

He does a fair amount of conspiring with Xiangling, a friend they met one time at a restaurant a couple years ago, even tagging along on the shopping trip. Together, the three of you find yourself a dress that Xiangling swears would make any person drool over you, including Childe, because at the end of the day, he was a person with the possibility of being attracted to you.

You think it’s a bit silly, but honestly, what do you have to lose at this point?

-

At 11:57PM on New Years’ Eve, Childe is standing outside in the freezing cold with his family, arms lifting up bags of sparklers and fireworks. They’ve driven out closer to the wild like they do every year, and everybody excitedly gets lighters ready, making sure someone’s got a clock out there that tells the seconds. As the younger kids open up the packaging and argue over which one to set off first, Childe’s phone vibrates in his coat pocket.

It’s 11:58PM when he manages to fish the device out and thank himself for buying gloves that are touch-screen friendly, excited to see that there are two texts from you, the latter reading, “Happy New Year!”. It doesn’t matter that you’re a little early, but he’s mainly intrigued by the fact a photo came before it. In his mind, you’re probably curled up with your twin brother, hopefully a selfie because wow, he misses your face.

He gets something else instead, and he is so glad that it’s dark outside and the electric lamp they have is too far away from him to draw any attention.

You have your arm around your brother’s waist and another girl’s that he doesn’t recognize, but it’s a full frontal view of your outfit, one that hugs your curves beautifully and shows more cleavage than he’s ever seen from you, sophisticated and elegant, yet fun and leaving enough to the imagination. There’s a bright smile coming from all of you, and you look like you’re at someone’s house or apartment with plenty of other people milling around in the back, but they don’t matter, not when all he can focus on is you.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, arousing, mind blowing, and gods, he wishes he could teleport to Liyue at this moment, find you, and kiss you right at midnight. Fuck the fact that he doesn’t exactly believe in superstitions like, “Kissing your significant other at midnight means you’ll last forever!” but he’s willing to take the chance with it on this night and the ones after, if he’s allowed. He tries not to think too much about pinning you against the wall and letting the world dissolve -- wants to be the one with the privilege to drag down that zipper and feel his bare skin on yours, and --

As Teucer starts yelling there’s only a minute left, he instinctively locks his phone and shoves it away out of anyone’s view. The last thing he needs is his family teasing him about ogling at your photo for a straight 50 seconds, wide-eyed and pupils on the verge of dilating, the visible breath leaving his mouth just a smudge more dense and prominent than usual.

The only thing he can do to distract himself from popping a boner in front of his parents is to join in on the countdown, making sure all the fireworks are set up correctly and grabbing a sparkler for himself. He waves it around with Tonia and promises to fulfill her wishes of taking one of those pictures right as she draws a pattern in the air. Their excitement is palpable and addicting, and even though the larger fireworks set off a few seconds after midnight hits, the nostalgia fills his lungs with fond memories and future wishes that they only continue this tradition for as long as possible, and hopefully, with you at his side.

-

When it’s 12:04AM, you get a picture message back of Childe bundled up in a black paletot coat, matching beanie and all, a gloved hand holding a sparkler and lips curved upwards, with a caption that says, “Happy New Year’s! See you soon :)”. You show it to Xiangling and your brother, both taking it as a win in their books, although the former does tipsily protest that there should be a better indicator of Childe’s brain breaking at how amazing you look right now. Maybe she’s prophetic, because another text chimes in and the words set you aflame, as well as suggestive whoops into your ears.

It’s a simple, “You look incredible btw”.

If you didn’t want to properly savor this moment, you would’ve found the nearest shot of the strongest liquor and tossed it back with abandon. But you want to remember the warmth in your veins that wasn’t from the alcohol or the heating, the fluttering of your heartbeat, the teeth-baring grin that you couldn’t fight off, the constant re-reading of those four words -- because they’re so different from everything you had been feeling before with him, the need for protection, the need to escape. Instead, you’d like to be in his arms right now and see for yourself how he’d look at you in this moment, and if he would take any action.

You want him to. So, so bad.

-

Childe spends his last week at home hating the fact that you’re just sitting around somewhere in Liyue, doing whatever you’re doing, probably doing some light preparation for your last semester of classes, and he’s not there to take advantage of all this free time and hang out with you. When classes start, it’ll be busy and hectic. You still have your thesis to finish and revise, and while that won’t eat up all your time, it’s still some that he’d want to fill in with his presence if he could. He debates whether or not he should ask for your schedule and compare it with his, maybe set up meetings every other day or propose that they all eat one meal together every day. Childe’s not quite sure of what you plan to do after graduation, as it hasn’t come up in conversation yet, but either way, he’s determined to stay in contact and make things work out. Long distance isn’t ideal, but with technology now, he’ll take it.

He feels a little bad for how excited he probably looked to be leaving home, uncharacteristic for the most part. His older siblings have already gone back to their respective homes, and it’s mainly Teucer and Tonia that worry and tear up when he starts packing his belongings. Tonia finds it unfair that Teucer got to meet you first and the latter makes sure to rub it into everyone’s faces. It’s hard for Childe to sleep on the plane because he’s thrumming with excitement, yet somehow even more nervous than usual when the plane hits small bouts of turbulence, and he doesn’t seem to relax until he sets foot back on campus.

He’s here. It’s January, and you’re physically closer to him than ever in the last two weeks.

-

“Found you.”

On the first day of classes, you’re sitting alone with some salad greens in a bowl, poking your fork at some scraps while you watch something on your phone, earbuds in and back towards the entrance of the canteen. It would explain the unannounced entrance of the very person who’s been at the forefront of nearly every thought in the last 96 hours, his fingers gingerly removing an earbud to surprise you as best as possible, and you startle in your seat.

Your heart kicks into overdrive when he hands you back your earbud and pulls out the seat next to you, setting his own plate of food down as he plops down in his chair. But then he says nothing afterwards, instead choosing to send you a cheeky grin before digging in. You’re left to slowly phase out of your state of shock, stuck between either running away or frantically texting your twin to come and save you even though he was off on a date with Keqing.

It’s not that you weren’t elated at the fact that Childe had done exactly as you told him last month, you just weren’t...prepared? It’s a shitty excuse and a cop out -- you’re mainly just having trouble with racking your brain to find the right words. What are you supposed to say? What should you do? Is it socially acceptable to lean over and kiss him on the cheek because that’s what you’d like to impulsively do at this very second??

“So you did,” you settle and steal a roasted potato wedge from his plate. It’s his turn to be taken by surprise, but he gets over it much quicker than you do. In fact, he spears two wedges and drops them in your bowl, smiling at you as best as he can with a mouth full of food. You give them your thanks before the silence settles in again.

“Did you have a good break?” He asks before his next bite.

“I did. You?”

“It was nice. My parents said I should’ve brought you and your twin home to spend the holidays with us. Can’t say it didn’t cross my mind before finals.”

Holy shit, what? “We couldn’t intrude like that, but that’s really nice of you guys.”

“That’s okay, there’s plenty of chances to visit later.”

You tilt your head and furrow your eyebrows. “But we graduate this semester?”

Childe challenges you with one of his own eyebrows raised. “And? Are we never gonna see each other again?”

Honestly, the possibility had occurred to you. You aren’t entirely sure of Childe’s plans after graduation, and if that meant he was staying in Liyue or going back to Snezhnaya or even moving to Inazuma or Mondstat. While people preach on and on about how lasting friendships and relationships are often formed during college, you believe it’s more common to slowly drift apart as life gets busier. And if Childe moved away, or if you did, it’d be hard to consistently keep in touch with 10 hour workdays.

The thought saddens you, regardless. You like him so much and you’re glad that he was even in your life to begin with, because as unbelievable as it sounds, seeing him was almost akin to the feeling of coming home. Amidst all your nerves, your confusion, your spiraling thoughts, something deeply sated in your heart was a comfort that you found with very few people in your life whenever in his presence.

The thought of leaving and never looking back somehow doesn’t feel new -- it’s bittersweet, but the air in your lungs feels like it’s surrendered to something, like it was to be expected.

“You can’t just leave without telling me--”

“It was last minute! I had no choice!”

“You could’ve written up a message, anything--”

“Can you imagine the position you’d be in if the message got intercepted? I wouldn’t have been safe, she’d make you come after me--”

“As if you’d be any safer in Inazuma of all places! That’s the one place I can’t easily get to!”

“I can take care of myself, Childe, I don’t need you to protect me.”

“This isn’t about me protecting you, (y/n) and -- stop walking, will you?!”

“Then what is this about?” You spin on your wheel with eyes aflame. “Why are you so angry with me? It’s normal for me to disappear for weeks at a time, why was this any different?”

“Because you could’ve died!” He yells back in despair, chest heaving. Your silence is his cue to continue. “You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have known until much later. You could’ve died and all I’d ever think about were the things I never got to say to you, and how I wish I had treated every day with you like it was our last.”

It isn’t hard to tell that you’re stunned and at a complete loss for words. Childe often hides behind facades of charm and wit, and only when he is truly weak does he choose to be this vulnerable, baring his heart for you to see.

“I only have two nightmares in this world. One, my family being harmed in any way. Two, reading in a report or hearing from an agent that you’ve been captured and killed.”

“I like to think that we will.”

His hand reaches out to lay on top of yours, giving it a quick squeeze. “Well, let’s make the most of it this semester.”

Conversation afterwards is easy, filling each other in on holiday activities. Childe speaks extensively about several family traditions and you listen with rapt attention, basking in how fond he is of all of them. Even as you both bring your dishes to the return belt and leave, he immediately offers to drive you both somewhere to get boba, noticing your reluctance to part ways. But boba shops have to close, and you both have class tomorrow morning, and you’re both finding any excuse to keep talking, even if that means sitting outside your dorm building on a nearby bench.

You eventually bid each other good night’s and see you later’s, him refusing to walk away until the heavy door locks shut behind you after you swipe your student ID, and you looking over your shoulder to watch his figure disappear into the night.

-

True to his intentions, Childe makes great efforts to meet you at least once a day, and he can’t get enough. Each parting from you tugs and tugs at his heart, as if there’s a high possibility you’ll never want to see him again the next day, and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Your twin and Childe get along well for the most part, and he even meets Xiangling on one of her shifts at her regular restaurant, who sends you a salacious wink and an eyebrow wiggle over his shoulder that nearly causes you to burst from embarrassment.

February rolls over without a hitch, even if you’re a little disappointed that Childe didn’t make a move for Valentine’s Day. Granted, you two still spent time with each other and he’s so darn physically affectionate and he bought you a carnation from the event his dorm held, but you wish you had the guts to fess up and just kiss the man.

It’ll happen some day, you tell yourself. You have time before graduation.

Two days before the end of the Friday that would signal the start of Spring Break, you wake up in a cold sweat, mind reeling and head splitting, heart so so heavy, as a connection is made between your present and your dreams. Not long after, there are tears streaming silently down your face and into your open palms placed in your lap, and you sit in shock as everything comes back to you. Memories are such treasured burdens, you realize.

For the most part, you had gotten used to the dreams, choosing to take charge of what you know and feel now with Childe over succumbing to some strange neurological premonitions. Especially in your dreams when many people’s faces were blurred over and hazy, and the only things you could rely on were voices, touch, and other physical features. You thought that maybe your mind was just playing tricks by transposing Childe’s hair onto a body that was also strikingly similar to his, but for the first time last night, you could see each defining feature on his face as clear as day.

The sight of his figure arching gracefully over yours, the water arrows that appeared out of thin air, the back that protected you from some military men, the voice that said, “Hey girlie, hold still.”

And that was when you had snapped awake to your current state.

Past the initial shock and uncontrollable tears, you soon bent over as sobs wracked your chest, overwhelmed by all the emotions and the pain the memories brought you; losing your twin, finding him to only be left with even more questions after roaming for decades and decades, meeting all your loved ones throughout Mondstat and Liyue, fighting yet falling so hard for Childe, feeling the fear when facing his Foul Legacy form, hating him for Osial, loving him, breathing heavily as the tip of your blade was pointed at his neck and his own just centimeters from yours, tendrils of water inching closer and closer--

Everything makes sense now.

When you meet your twin for lunch at the cafeteria, you pay no mind to the fact that you’re in public and hug him harder than you ever have in years. He’s already a little alarmed that your eyes seem swollen and you look like finals came two months early, but when he asks what’s wrong, all he gets is a shake of your head and nothing more than, “Just a bad nightmare. I love you, y’know that?”

“I love you too?”

“Don’t sound so unsure, now let’s go and get in line before they run out of Jueyun Chili Chicken.”

Even when you meet Xiao later in the early evening to talk about your thesis, you find yourself holding back more tears just two minutes in, reminded of his past and his own life, and he’s moderately concerned, hesitantly handing you a tissue from the corner of his desk when a stray tear escapes. “Is everything okay?” He hesitantly asks, really hoping that he didn’t do anything to make you cry.

“No,” you almost wail and sniffle while dabbing at your eyes. “Sorry, it’s just been a really long day.”

Xiao’s inquisitive gaze softens, remembering how hard undergraduate life could be sometimes. Graduate school was a whole other level, but that shouldn’t discount your own personal difficulties. Plus, in all of the year and a half that he’s known you, you’ve never broken down like this before in front of him.

“You work really hard, Xiao,” you continue, and he’s not sure where this is coming from. “You’re always so helpful and willing to work with me and answer my stupid questions and like-- you practice self-care, right?”

Xiao nods as a white lie, but it seems to comfort you. Maybe too much because you pull him in for a quick and unexpected hug, and you both decide to reschedule this meeting for tomorrow.

As per usual, you wait for Childe to join you for dinner since you finished up earlier than expected. It gives you more time to think about everyone from Mondstat -- Kaeya, Diluc, Lisa, Jean, Amber...funny to think that some things never changed as you compared their past version to the ones you know now.

“Mora for your thoughts?”

There’s a peace that warms your heart when you hear Childe’s voice, one that forces you to smile at him as he sits down next to you. “Just thinking about old friends.”

“I have to admit, I’ll be a little jealous if it’s another guy taking up more space than me in that pretty brain of yours.”

What a flirt. This man isn’t good for your heart. “Who said you had any to begin with?”

He dramatically places a hand over his heart. “You wound me, (y/n). How will I ever recover?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you snicker. Childe reaches over to pinch your cheek and you bat at him in protest. Easily, he grabs one of your hands and simply pulls you towards the food lines, knowing that you’ll stop fighting back soon.

Part of it feels strange now to feel and see his hands with no leather gloves on.

“Childe,” you start halfway through your meal, continuing after he hums back in reply. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

He freezes briefly, but recovers so quickly that if you hadn’t been watching so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed. “I think it’s neat, the idea of having past lives. Why do you ask?”

What he really wants to ask is if you’ve been having those dreams, too; if he’s starring in your nights like you have been in his.

“Just a thought, especially since you’re taking Teyvat Myth now, too.”

“Do you...do you think if there was a past life, that we knew each other?”

There’s something about the look of content on your face before you meet his gaze -- he thinks that you know more than you’re letting on but you’re holding back for some reason. He wants to know what’s going through your brain right now, why the fondness in your eyes sends a jolt through him like he’s been searching for it all his life, if you know anything about this magnetic pull between you two.

“I like to think that we knew each other well.”

-

Even though the first day of your returned memories was somewhat eventful, you couldn’t help but feel yourself wanting to pull back from Childe -- at least, until you can successfully compartmentalize which emotions belonged to you past self and which ones belonged to your current mindset. You didn’t quite agree with his duties and his affiliation with the Fatui back then, even if he had his reasons that did make sense, to some degree.

The killing, the threatening, so intent on stealing Rex Lapis’s Gnosis in the name of the Tsaritsa, summoning Osial as a mean to an end -- and you definitely can’t forget how stubborn he was in not listening to your protests, so caught up in his brain that you had betrayed him and sent you plummeting to a near-death experience despite his earlier promise of no intention of killing you specifically.

Everything had been toeing a faint, thin line with Childe then. Undeniable chemistry and tension, guarding yourself for yours and Paimon’s safety, slashing at Fatui agents, whispering out pleas and affirmations of “I’m yours” while riding him, sometimes having to sneak out in the mornings…

The only thing you don’t remember is how everything ends -- maybe it’ll come back to you eventually, but for now, you think you’re okay not knowing.

If Childe still doesn’t remember anything from back then, you think it’d be unfair to spend time with him in all your conflicting emotions, even when it’s spring break, where you have so much more hours in the day to be with each other than normal. Fun plans around Liyue had been made, like a two-day one-night trip to Yaoguang Shoal, and you’re this close to cancelling on him.

But he had been looking forward to it so much, even made most of the preparations for it. Who are you to rob that joy from him when it was you who couldn’t figure out your own shit? Are you self-destructing?

Perhaps.

Before you know it, you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, staring out the window at the scenery. Somehow, it pleased you to see that the nature of Liyue had been carefully preserved over the many centuries despite its development into the modern age. You get lost in picking apart the differences between then and now that you don’t notice how quiet you’ve fallen and Childe looks over worriedly when you show no reaction to your favorite songs playing on the stereo.

Even when he calls your name once, twice, nothing gives as you clearly have tuned everything out. So he leaves you be until there’s about half an hour left on the drive, unable to hold back and succumbing to reach over for your hand. You startle so strongly that he almost feels bad for having done it unannounced. But what’s even more disturbing is that this isn’t really the first time.

You’ve been talking to him less, often sitting quietly and staring off into another world that he can’t seem to reach. His texts are answered less frequently and with less wit and enthusiasm, so much so that he just appreciates you still show up to see him. Each time he asks if you’re okay, you always affirm that you are. He’s had a hard time believing you, but Childe believes you’ll tell him when you’re ready, surely.

It’s a little ironic yet fateful that Childe planned to bring you here, of all places. In the past, you had spent many days and nights running around in the sand with him, fighting slimes and hilichurls and collecting starconches for him. You remember laying on a large towel next to him as you both looked up into the sky, pointing out stars and constellations while sharing endless kisses away from prying, spying eyes.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve zoned out,” you sincerely apologize.

“It’s okay, I just wanna make sure you relax while we’re here. This is supposed to be a vacation.”

“You’re right,” you agree and squeeze his hand. “Let’s make the most of it before we become adults who are too busy to have fun like this again.”

And you do. Childe rented a small beach cabin (rich boys) closer to one end of the shoreline, just big enough with two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a small kitchen with a dining table. You help him bring in your bags and some groceries bought the night before, setting them down quickly so you can peer out the window again to take in the view. Childe picked a good time, too. Although it’d be a little chilly at night, the day was still warm and mainly overcast with clouds.

“What do you say we change into our swimsuits and head down to the water?”

“Sure.”

Childe hadn’t really been expecting for you to step out in a large, casual tee and gym shorts, one shoulder exposed. He might have been hoping to see a little more skin, but his mother didn’t raise a chauvinistic pervert for a son.

The light in your eyes as you both approach the water is everything he had been missing the last few days, your excitement and joy contagious. As soon as you place everything down on the sand, you kick off your flip flops and leave him behind to step into the water, giggling at feeling the waves crash over your ankles and bring sand between your toes. Childe approaches you from behind and starts smearing sunblock on the back of your neck, to which you just grin beautifully at him in thanks and he has to fight off the desire to kiss you right then and there.

You’re too caught up in embracing the ocean afterwards to feel the shrinking distance between you two, mistaking his warmth for the general spring air. It isn’t until he’s done with your shoulders that he hands you the bottle to leave you to do the rest of your body, and when you turn to thank him, he’s much closer than you remember. His eyes are gentle, holding your gaze and almost daring you to look away first.

But if there’s one thing you can place without a shred of doubt, it is the unmistakable look of love, because you had seen it many, many times before without knowing until later what it meant.

How so incredibly lucky you were to have Childe back in your life now, loving you all the same, and with no life-threatening barriers. Fate or the Archons have given you a second chance, and you’d be damned to take it for granted.

Childe welcomes your lips against his, wasting no time to bring you into his arms so you’re pressed against him as much as possible. He can’t care for the overt public display of affection because this is everything he’s wanted for months now, waiting patiently for you to give him permission to make you his. Your lips are incredibly soft and pliant against his as you first kiss him patiently, then applying more force and desperation to taste more of him. He mirrors you, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other on your neck with a thumb extended to your jawline, teeth moving to nip at your bottom lip. It’s dangerous, the way you smile against his lips, and when he sinks his teeth in deeper before pulling back, your quiet mewl nearly drives him over the edge.

But you’re in public, and this was an amazing first kiss. You two have a beach to enjoy and a fun night planned, and now that he doesn’t have to hold back on his affections, it’ll be even better.

His lips part from yours regretfully, his eyes languidly opening to meet yours. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a blue starconch in the sand and freezes.

It’s not that he’s never seen one before, but something clicks. You. The shore. Starconches. Starry nights. His dreams. Monsters. Gods. Fighting. So much fighting. Training. His family. Dragons. You. Falling. You falling. You fighting him. Yelling. Kissing. Loving. Chasing. Him chasing you before you disappear at a teleport waypoint that somehow you only can operate. The abyss. Your twin.

Oh, Archons.

“ -ou okay, Ajax? Ajax?”

He snaps to look at you again. How does he go about this? How does he ask?

“(Y/n)...have you ever heard of the Fatui Harbingers?”

He has to admit that it’s a bit amazing to be able to identify all the emotions that cross your complexion, from curiosity to realization to conflicted. You’re actively trying to piece everything together without revealing too much on the off-chance that you’re wrong, that Childe hasn’t regained his memories and is just asking about something from class randomly and completely out of the blue.

Wait.

“You haven’t reached that material yet in class,” you whisper, heart in your throat at the realization. Could it really be…

“I was once Tartaglia, eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, who possessed a Delusion and used my Foul Legacy Transformation with you several times,” he murmurs back, tucking a stray tendril behind your ear. “Is it too late to apologize again for summoning an ancient god and letting you fall about five floors with no warning?”

He should’ve been prepared for you wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “No, never, but I spent weeks after kicking your ass so you’ve been long forgiven.”

Childe burrows his face into your neck, breathing in your scent and basking in this moment. There was so much to talk about, but you two arguably had more time in the world than ever with nothing holding you back. There was no impending war looming over, no one on the run, no opposing forces. His silent wish for a different life with you seems to have been answered finally. If running into you had been the event to set everything in motion, he only wishes he’d done so earlier.

All that matters now is you’re here together in this plane of existence, given a chance to love again, and experience everything you couldn't before.

As written in the stars, take my soul for it is forever yours.

fin

[astrxlis-archive]

Idk what compelled me to write something but here's my gift 🙈:

Xiao.

— He never fails to send you little trinkets as gifts on his own birthday. Even if he's the celebrant, no gifts of his could amount to how he's grateful to have you. It was a small, yet a sweet gesture of love. Last year, he thought you looked lovely with crystal cores as accessories. This year, he got you some starconches. It's neither its beauty nor it's rarity captured the interest of the vigilant yaksha. Silly enough, Xiao might be using it as an excuse to write to you.

Do you know? Do you know that Xiao always think of you? In everywhere he go, in everything he do, his thoughts will always sail back to the sea of you, like a voyager always returning to the breeze of a certain ocean, for he finds the said waters itself as the treasure many sailors long to find.

Sometimes, when he's all alone at the rooftop balcony of Wangshu Inn, he'll gaze at the scene of nature presented in front of him, recollecting your conversations where you've mentioned that you find beauty in it, as well as the "ridiculous" mortal beliefs about it. He wanted to ask you more regarding it, but he doubt that he even deserves answers from an angel like you— so he hesitated.

He gazes at the moon who lights up the night unconciously smiling to himself as his heart flutters, recalling a joke you pulled on him before:

"The moon is beautiful tonight, isn't it?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Hehe, I suggest you find it out yourself, Xiao."

"Hmpf. Alright."

Little did you know, Xiao courageously confronted Verr Goldet in regards to this phrase you told him the next day. He surprisingly teleported in front of the desk where Verr Goldet manages.

"Oh, Xiao! What brings you here?"

With arms crossed, Xiao inquired, "Tell me... What does the phrase 'the moon looks beautiful tonight, isn't it?' means?"

The Wangshu Inn's boss lets out a chuckle mischievously, with a culprit in mind (which is you :3c).

"Well, Xiao... It is said by a person confessing their feelings to you."

Xiao displays a confused expression as Verr Goldet carefully explains the meaning of the phrase to him.

"It's another way of saying 'I love you' to a person you like," she ends with a wink to the young man infront of her.

Oh.

The vigilant yaksha got flustered instantly in a second and teleports somewhere secluded to hide his flushed face. Heh, of course. Verr Goldet knows what's up between you two. She shakes her head and resumes working. "Ah, young love."

— happy birthday, xiao! <3 🍰.

i don't know what compelled you to write either but please let it know i am GRATEFUL. i have been FED on this fine monday afternoon 🙏🥹

the fact xiao braved the teasing verr will probably unleash upon him just to figure out what you were trying to tell him through a seemingly random phrase– and the fact he knew it meant more than what was being said 👀

thank you so much for sharing this piece, i loved reading it!! 🥰🥰

i've tagged it with the tags i use for my own writing (except the specific ones for me) so it gets more exposure (because you absolutely deserve it), but i can untag if it bothers you, just let me know! 💕

[golden-wingseos]

a secret for two

what’s it like... having a secret relationship with them?

featuring —

✧ childe x gn!reader, scaramouche x f!reader

warnings ―

✧ not proofread

notes ―

✧ once upon a time i despised scaramouche,,, look at me now

𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄 ✬ ❛ 𝘛𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘈𝘎𝘓𝘐𝘈 ❜

you were no fatui agent, nor a harbinger. you were you. [l/n] [y/n], child of a wealthy businessman and woman

and—perhaps, that was a fatal flaw: falling in love with a man who you knew your parents wouldn’t approve of

but—they wouldn’t understand. childe... he was no bloodthirsty killer when he was with you. he was tartaglia—ajax, a sweet person who loved you for you, not your money or status

however, even with the skeptics of possibilities your family may present, it all fell shy to the problems that would arise if childe revealed his relationship to the eyes of the fatui

his job: debt collection. your family’s business: has a possibility of falling into debt

and not only that—childe loves his family. he’d do anything to keep you as far away from the fatui as possible, fearing that you’d become leverage for more manipulation and lies

and, perhaps, amongst the thrill—you would’ve left. you would’ve stopped seeing a man who could only bestow pain upon your future—

and yet, here you were. holding him in your arms as the moonlight shimmered through the window

The sky—was dark. Showing no remorse for unfortunate merchants in the brink of dusk, lights flickered on, guiding stray travelers home with welcome arms.

[E/C] eyes blinked open, scouring over the sight that lay before them. Orange locks, crystal blue irises that mimicked the waterfalls of Qingce Village—all were sights so familiar to your orbs, a small smile making its way onto your face as you stared at the male before you.

Clad in sleepwear, his hair was devoid of his Fatui mask. His expression—peaceful and serene... so different than the Childe you had first met—a Childe who knew how to kill, not to love.

Mindless warnings from your parents, absent guards that could care less for your safety—they didn’t matter. Love, a love found once in a lifetime, a love found in nobody but him.

...Tartaglia.

You didn’t thrive off of thrill like he did, per se... you were just you. A young person, desperate for some freedom—

And yet, all those nights. All those nights spent running, running to beaches, running from his Fatui underlings—they were everything, more than your parents’ business, more than the bundles of mora you were handed—

Because, because— they had him.

“Haha! You should run faster, love! There’s a really pretty view once we make it to Yaoguang Shoal!” The moon, silent and silver—it watched over the two young lovers, their forms running from the hoards of hilichurls and Fatui agents as they ran for their hearts—their smiles, glimmering like the absent sun...

Cascading waves and eroding stones, starconches sat idly in the palm of their hands as the night went by.

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄 ✬ ❛ 𝘉𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘈𝘋𝘌𝘌�� ❜

unlike childe, scaramouche didn’t purposefully hide your relationship with him

you’re a harbinger— just like him. what was there to hide? the blushes that’d cascade over his cheeks? the flustered expressions he hid when you kissed him?

whatever. it wasn’t like it was any of their business (childe and signora) to know—he was just living life, being him... that of which didn’t involve flaunting your relationship

he was content with what he had. and if that meant the other fatui agents and harbingers not knowing about your relationship? so be it. what are they gonna do? cry?

“Oh, [Y/N]? You’re here? I didn’t know The Tsaritsa put you on post!” Childe exclaimed, waving friendly in your direction as you crossed your arms. Ships were arriving, Fatui symbols and signals lighting up every single sail and wooden plank, distant figures that painted the coast of Liyue Harbor.

Frankly—you were not posted here. The Tsaritsa had granted you an off day, so you decided to head over to Liyue Harbor. After all, Scaramouche was expected to arrive today. 

“I suppose,” You responded blankly. Uninterested in talking to the Harbinger, [e/c] eyes narrowed as soon as the grandest Fatui ship came into view—that of which was expected to host Scaramouche.

“Haha! Still not a talker, are you?” Childe laughed, entertaining himself with his own comments. Seriously—if you didn’t know any better, you’d think the eleventh Harbinger was some kind of lonely maniac.

(Which, is partially true.)

“L-Lady [Y/N]! I didn’t know y-you’d be here!” An underling got on one knee, bowing out of respect for you.

“Move it.”

A new voice—sharper and firmer, a sense of authority lingering in its hues.

“Ah, Balladeer. You’ve returned,” A smile, a drastic change from the unreadable gaze you sent the Fatui agent who got in your way from meeting your boyfriend.

“Balladeer?” Scaramouche echoed, raising his eyebrow in distaste as you ignored Childe’s prying eyes.

“Is that not your name?” You grinned, watching his indigo eyes morph into confusion, then irritation.

“. . . Am I missing something?” Childe blinked, question marks surrounding his head like a halo.

“Of course not,” Scaramouche snapped, wasting no time to grab your waist, tugging you along into the streets of Liyue. It had been four weeks since he’d last seen you, and frankly—that was four weeks too many.

“Huh...?” Childe’s jaw dropped, piecing together the clues that had been left cold for far too long.

“Scaramouche and [Y/N] were posted together?!” 

... Okay— kind of pieced together the clues.