#I have other thoughts I’m gonna have to reboot my brain first

[drunkeddiediaz]

Just watched the episode

[rachelkaser]

Thoughts On . . . Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened Remake

Frogwares’ remake of Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened is one of the most unsung game releases of 2023. So let’s take a quick look at the new features of the title and how they compare with the original.

If you’re unaware, Frogwares is a studio based in Ukraine, a country currently repelling a Russian invasion. The devs have repeatedly addressed their struggles and yet they launched it anyway. For that reason, I feel it would be inappropriate to score The Awakened. I make an effort in all my reviews to respect the developers who’ve put in the work to make the game I’m playing, even if I’m not a fan of the game itself. But making a game during an actual and presently-occurring war is another matter entirely.

That being said, I think The Awakened Remake merits examination, even if I don’t want to review it. If nothing else, the game is a fascinating glimpse into the evolving story of point-and-click adventure games and their place in the greater gaming landscape. It’s also instructive to compare the two different Holmeses, to see how the character changes with several years of pop culture reshaping.

Second Awakening

The Awakened Remake feels like the culmination of Frogwares’ attempts to evolve its signature adventure game series from a post-Syberia form to a post-Telltale form. In the Dark Ages (a.k.a. the early aughts), adventure games adhered almost religiously to the Grim Fandango style: Third-person clicking navigation with viewpoints fixed in what I call “security camera” position. The Awakened (the original, that is), began the transition away from that to first-person exploration -- the Myst style, if you will.

The series continued to experiment with different stories and gameplay types. It vacillated between first- and third-person, tested new detection mechanics, and even dipped into true crime with the audacious Jack the Ripper recreation. The series rebooted with The Devil’s Daughter (though it retained at least a few story details unique to the previous game series). I’m not sure whether Chapter One and The Awakened Remake are set in the same continuity, though the retention of the new voice cast would suggest so.

Now here we are in 2023, and what does a Sherlock Holmes adventure game look like? It’s a third-person exploration title with an over-the-shoulder camera and the environments are a series of contained maps. In other words, it looks like several of Telltale’s later titles, or Dontnod’s. That’s not a bad thing . . . it’s just an observation of how the medium has evolved and Frogwares’ Holmes along with it.

The Awakened remake is also a microcosm of Sherlock Holmes’ . . . let us say “changeable” position in pop culture. The Holmes of the original Awakened was more of a Jeremy Brett-style depiction, hewing close to the source material’s dry wit and intense focus. The Holmes of the remake, on the other hand is -- being blunt -- young, hot, and mentally unwell. It’s not really to my taste, I’m not gonna lie. It’s clear the impetus for this comes from BBC Sherlock, which I despise. But the remake Holmes has an earnest gumption I’ve never seen in the character before -- it’s a choice, and not one I dislike.

Lovecraft’s Walking Tour

One of the benefits of remaking Awakened is that Frogwares has a chance to elevate a game that, through a combination of underpowered graphics and muddy art design, never had a chance to serve Lovecraftian horror as it’s meant to be served. And for the most part, they did -- there’s a creeping sense of wrongness on the periphery of most scenes, at least when you play as Holmes, a feeling that something isn’t quite right.

That’s the essence of Lovecraftian horror, in my opinion, this sense that something’s wrong, but there’s no way for your tiny human brain to understand what. One of the reasons I enjoy both iterations of this game is because Sherlock Holmes is the type of person who would absolutely refuse to accept there’s something his brain can’t comprehend. That makes him uniquely vulnerable to being overwhelmed by that sensation. Watson’s POV is more grounded and reliable by comparison.

The locations are mostly similar to what they were in the original, though the asylum section is much shorter and cuts out a subplot foreshadowing the arrival of one Moriarty. New Orleans serves a nice slice of Southern Gothic horror to balance out the traditional European Gothic elsewhere in the game. It’s a bit of a shame that Frogware’s didn’t correct one particular oversight: For a game based on Lovecraft’s work, we never go to New England, Lovecraft Country itself.

As far as gameplay goes, I only have one major complaint: This game desperately needs an auto-run option. Or at the very least, the sprint button needs to be sticky -- meaning, you press it once and the characters run until you press it again. Having to hold down a button to get them to get a jog on feels archaic, especially since the environments are much bigger than in your average adventure game.

Our next case, Watson?

Point-and-click adventure games will never be to everyone’s taste, no matter how much a developer might wish to court a bigger audience. Aiming for the Walking Dead/Life is Strange is a wise choice of direction for the Frogwares’ series if it’s going to capture any mainstream appeal while retaining its identity. That is to say: This is a good remake and I like where Frogwares is going with its new series.

Assuming the new series will follow the old, we’re looking at a remake of Sherlock Holmes vs Arsene Lupin next. Sherlock Holmes, tormented lad that he is in the new series, definitely deserves a lighthearted chase with a gentleman thief, so I’m looking forward to what Frogwares does next. My best wishes to them!

[bugeyedfreaks]

2, 5, 12, 23 for each of the Gangreen Gang, and each of the Amoeba Boys

Oooof, that’s a lot! 💀 [cracks knuckles] Well, okay, here we go…

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Ace — I loooooove his sexy leotard! Kidding! I guess in general I just really admire his canonically chill attitude and fine leadership skills. If he wasn’t a wanted criminal he would be a really cool guy to hang out with.

Snake — IMO, one of the funniest scenes in the series is in Buttercrush, when Ace hands Buttercup a bat while Snake is in a junkyard car, and he pleads and begs her not to hit it, fear in his eyes, but she does, and he gets launched into (presumably) the stratosphere. The fact that he canonically survived that is very impressive to me.

Big Billy — The gang needs muscle, and Billy is it, but it’s adorable that he’s such a sweetheart. It really feels like he just goes along with whatever the gang’s doing because, at the end of the day, he doesn’t really know any better. It’s less about doing crime for crime’s sake and just more about having fun with his homies. Despite being so big, he’s the little bro of the gang.

Also I love that he is a cyclops, very cool. 👁️

Li’l Arturo — I love that he can be tossed around like the football or the basketball. His talent is being smol and aerodynamic and I love it (I also love his pride for his deadly comb Maria!).

Grubber — You have to respect a hunchbacked boy who likes horsie rides. That whole sequence with him on the horse at the arcade in Schoolhouse Rocked is so cute and wholesome. …weirdly enough, as strange and gross as he can be (affectionate), there are many other wholesome Grubber moments in the show.

Bossman — His VOICE is just so iconic. Rest in peace, Chuck McCann, and it’s so sad he had to be in the awful reboot before he passed because I’m gonna miss hearing that amazing gangster voice in the future, see?

Slim — 😳 Uh… I…… love that…….. he is…… canonically….. skinny! (Phew! 😮‍💨)

Junior — I love his BOTTOMLESS STOMAAAAACH he has like the Mary Poppins neverending bag of innards. It may be gross, but you have to admit, it is quite the talent.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I don’t think of specific songs for each of them, but for the Gangreen Gang AND the Amoeba Boys, they both have very iconic theme songs (the GGG’s one is VERY funky, I love it… plus the gloopiness of the Amoeba Boys’ one is veeeeery gloopy and fits them well).

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Okay, I know you asked for one for each of them, but I truly do look at both gangs as, like, whole units when I think about headcanon stuff. One that I like to think about with the GGG is the origin story I have in my brain of how they all met. I imagine at some point they were all total strangers, just happened to all be green, all happened to wander into the dump on the same day, said, “Hey,” and immediately decided they were gonna be best friends for life and were cool chilling with each other. It’s really stupid, but it makes me laugh thinking about it. 😆

With the Amoeba Boys… I dunno! Never really thought about one for them before. Maybe a headcanon could beeeeee that they’ve been wandering around the Townsville area since the dawn of time, constantly splitting/reproducing/reforming to survive (which is why in modern times they’re almost as big as humans), attempting to cause mischief because they’ve always thought the people they saw doing it were really cool (of course, they’ve always inexplicably had their gangster accents and hats, too). Perhaps back in the day they would bug the Ministry of Pain to let them join in on their chaos so they could help fight Captain Righteous and Lefty. Who knows!

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Again, I dunno if I have the strength to pull from all of my screencaps for ALL of them (because if I do I will never finish this to post it), so I will round it down to two of my faves to represent each gang, inspired from my canon favorites list:

[no1ryomafan]

Yknow one thing I hate to do is compare mechas given they’re all pretty different even putting the clear influence a lot have on each other aside and I don’t like the idea that I’ve seen a lot of mecha fans subscribe to where “if you like this one show you HAVE to like these other ones” but this is less of a comparison thing especially because I’m not petty or anything since it’s just something I thought about:

Mazinger v Getter when it comes to their recognition tends to boggle my mind a bit. Since it feels like there are more dedicated Getter fans around that talk about it than Mazinger fans, but Mazinger is more recognizable to the point it gets more funded stuff than Getter.

I was thinking about this when I was watching Mazinkaiser, and I can’t confirm this but I found it interesting that it almost (felt) like this ova spawned out of Getter making a comeback before Mazinger did, since Armageddon came before and was massive hit, than was followed up with a game + shin vs neo by the time Mazinkaiser was made. Like they even got Armas art director to work on it and the studio doing it was Brains Base who made the getter OVAs.

And in terms of recently all the stuff with Grendizer, which I know was SUPPOSED to get another an anime way before this, is now finally getting something coincidentally after Getter Robo Arc. And everyone is already pointing out between the two Grendizer looks waaay better then Arc so it’s clear it has more money put into it, yet I wonder if Arc didn’t happen if they would bother to touch Grendizer since Arc was them also finally giving the Getter team who NEVER got to be in a anime- well, a anime. And now the most neglected pilot apart of Mazingers universe is getting his own show.

I understand why Mazinger is more known and funded since it was the first self piloted mecha and something Go Nagai, a man who arguably changed the industry a lot, made so his works are always gonna be rebooted for the sake of memory, where as Getter sorta lives in Nagai’s shadow sadly even if Ishikawa memory is respected, but I feel like almost Getter is the one to test if things will work and then they’ll see if they can do stuff with Mazinger again.

Or maybe it’s just two coincidences and we’re just going through a long coming mecha renaissance of older properties of the genre, but I’m still rotating it heavily.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hi there, do you exist in the world and have a lot of time on your hands, but also can’t stand the sound of your own thoughts? May I recommend Drawfee, a youtube comedy drawing show which has been the background sound of my life for about two years now. I realize my pitch that hey, it’s better than literal silence, may not sound super compelling so I’ll elaborate: it is a funny and extremely chill show with people who like each other talking while they do art. Fantastic. Exquisite. Feel like a silent fifth party eavesdropping on some people having fun.

Anyway if like me you are constantly looking for online content that gently releases sweet good vibe chemicals in your brain, here’s a shitload of episodes I like. They’re all about 20-40 mins long. Stars next to the ones I particularly like, but I feel like that’s gonna tell you more about me than about drawfee.

*Artists Draw Themselves Into Their Favorite Anime (Speed draw where everyone’s art is very good but frankly we all get distracted because we have to talk about Julia’s wild flex)

Scooby-Doo Drawing Challenge (ft. Simone from Polygon) (you know, scooby doo! like from that episode of supernatural. Simone is great and Nathan could not be more delighted by the art.)

Professional Artists Redraw Their Old Art (Speed draw ft the phrase “Mid-2000s hetero nonsense”)

Impossible Coloring Challenge (art but make it bullying)

Artists Draw Urban Fantasy D&D Characters (ft. Brennan Lee Mulligan) (an Unsleeping City themed episode. A powerful bard is made this day.)

*Artists Draw Their Fursonas (speed draw. This episode made me want a fursona so goddamn bad)

Turning Animals Into Original Characters Challenge (just an extremely chill hangout episode)

*Drawing Dungeons & Dragons Cats (an entire episode that’s about the tv show Columbo)

Drawing Backgrounds For Video Calls (another chill hangout video that features my husband Kaiba)

Professional Artists Redraw Their Childhood Art (Speed draw. Full Moonpaw comic reboot and relaunch when)

Drawing Thomas the Tank Engine Original Characters (body horror. car body horror.)

The Hottest New Board Game (ft. McElroy Brothers) (the first episode I saw! Monster factory energy except the character creator is just two other people drawing)

*Artists Draw Gigantamax Pokémon From Memory (look, the way Julia says “laser eyyyyyyyes” in the beginning is all I’m thinking about 24/7.)

Artists Draw Kaiba in Different Styles (when I was younger I used to walk around and listen to “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” and “In The End” on repeat because those were my Kaiba songs. I also had an elaborate plot line where he was begging crushed under a boulder and no one could get him out so he was just endlessly suffering. I was 11 and I knew what I wanted my favorite characters to experience. Anyway, speed draw episode.)

Artists Draw MORE Disney Characters As Dark Souls Bosses (boy I wish I could say I’m recommending this for a reason that isn’t “in depth exploration of Gaston/lefou oviposition” but I’m not here to lie to you)

Knock-Off Pokémon Based On Food (look anytime they talk like Joey Wheeler, it’s a good episode.)

Dungeons & Dragons & DRAWING | Drawga Episode 1 (ayyyyyyy plot! Come get ya plot over here! If you want drawings with story. Or if you like Naddpod and you’re like “I want that but only with Caldwell and also Tonathan Tinkle, and also I want to see faces as they talk.” Ten episodes in total. Elyse Willems and Rekha Shenkar are the funniest guests alive.)

Drawtectives: Episode 1 (ayyyyyyyy plot! Come get ya plot part 2 murder mystery edition!! But also friendship? And half orc feet pics? Eleven episodes.)

[turtle-go-brrrr]

4 times Leonardo was a dork and the time he wasn’t

Heya! I adore the "strong stoic character does something embarrassing or dumb" trope, and Leo has been left behing from that one. Also, my fervent Leo Simp Friend said these were all good ideas and I trust his judgment completely, so it's also for him. Enjoy, you Dork-ass Looser (affectionate) @weird-flex-but-ok

I have one of these "4 times ______ and 1 time ______" stories for each of them, I just got really inspired by him all of a sudden. But they're coming!

There might be a few typos here and there, but I really don't wanna wait any longer to post it :3

Requested: No

Pairing: None, platonic

Word count: 2500 +

Triggers: cursing, injuries, blood, intrusion

Summary: You were always sort of intimidated by the leader in blue, but a series of events shows you he might not be as serious as he wants you to think.

__________________________________________

First time

It took you a while to get along with all of them.

Not because you didn't trust them, or because they made it difficult, and certainly not because they're mutants. You're just not that good with new people, and you tend to shy away. Especially when you have New York's heroes in front of you.

So yeah. It took a while. But soon enough, you warmed up to your new friends, and you had a great time. Mikey was the first who made you feel welcomed, always asking questions about you and insisting you came to the lair in the first place. Donnie followed soon, after you started asking about what he was working on. It took a bit more work to get closer to Raph, but it turns out sarcasm was the way to go.

If only their leader was as approachable.

He never made you feel unsafe or unwelcomed, don’t get me wrong, he just kept a professional distance with you, which started to become quite painful as time went on. You tried not to take it personally, thinking he maybe was as shy as you were.

You had time anyway.

It was early in the evening when you made your way to the lair. For the first time since you met the turtles, you went there alone. You were a little nervous, thinking you might get lost in the maze of tunnels under the city, but figured you could just call someone if anything happened. Lucky for you, you found your way to your friend’s place, but not without hustle.

As you entered, you realized it was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sounds you could here were the faint music and the not so faint curses from Donatello’s lab. The smart decision seemed to be leave him alone, which is exactly what you did.

You haven’t been here long enough to know where to find the others, and as you didn’t exactly felt like staying alone in the living space, you tried finding your way to the dojo, as it was one of the other places you knew well.

Of course, now you got lost. Venturing into the sewers was fine, but walking into your friend's home wasn't, apparently.

You found something else, however. This particular tunnel led to a room you could identify as someone's room. You could see the large bed in the middle of the room, a small table with a bottle of water, a book, and a makeshift alarm. A set of twin swords were hanging on the right wall, just above a small bookshelf.

On your left was another table with a (healthy, you noted) bonsai tree, and next to that was Leonardo, facing a mirror. He had his right arm lifted up to his head, and was looking right to you through the mirror.

He looked absolutely horrified.

What the fuck.

He slowly rubbed his face in his hands, let out a long sigh, and turned to you, more tense than you've ever seen him. He cleared his throat as you pince your lips in a thin line to hold back a smile.

"Hello, Y/N. I... didnt think you'd come in so early."

Despite the badly lit room, you can see him bite the inside of his cheek.

"Yeah, uh, I didnt mean to... interrupt you," you say. Your voice is slightly shaking as it takes all of your willpower not to burst out laughing. And he definitely notices.

"You didn't! I uh, wasn't doing anything anyway. So, tell me- what brings you to the lair?" He asks, avoiding your eyes.

"Oh, Mikey invited me, he said I wasnt allowed to skip on movie night. You know how strong willed he is," you smirks, unable to handle it much longer.

Stiff as a board, you see the corner of his mouth twitching and hear him whisper, "... I wasn't flexing."

Silence.

You snort laugh hard enough to choke on it as you quickly turn around to hold yourself against the wall, the insanity of the situation crashing on you. Leo sat at the foot of his bed, head in his hands, and you could see him shake in repressed laughter once you wiped your tears away.

You sit next to him after finally calming down from the hysteria. He sighs, straightens his back and gives you a side glance.

"I'm not judging."

"You're still laughing, though."

"Yeah, but like, I guess I just wasn't expecting that. Still not judging."

He nods, still smiling. His voice is at least 3 octaves higher when he asks, "Please, don't tell the others."

"And what, give them the privilege of knowing about your little... ritual? Nah, don't worry about it."

_______________________

Second time

The second time your assumptions about the leader were subverted happended only two weeks after the... incident.

You had invited the whole crew to your place for the very first time, and they were all excited to come. You made a copious dinner: a few veggie cakes, chicken wings and a bowl of roasted potatoes. They were supposed to bring the drinks and movies, and April and Casey were in charge of the desert.

A perfect night, it seemed.

And it would have been if they could decide what to watch first without jumping at each other's throats.

"You guys need to grow up."

"Leave me out of thi-"

"Donnie's suggesting Velocipastor of all things and you think we need to grow up? Come on, Y/N, I thought you were better than that."

"Okay, first of all, how dare you. And second, this movie's a masterpie-"

"Yeah, because everyone knows that his supremior intellect means he's the only one who gets to choose a dumb movie. Why won't you guys watch Sharknado?"

"Supremior isn't a word. And it's because unlike you, peasants, I have taste." A devilish smile creeps up Donnie's face. The bastard is doing it on purpose.

"Peasants?!"

"You ugly-ass son of a-"

"Hey! Leave Dad out of this!"

"We could watch Shrek instead?"

You decided to go get some glasses in the kitchen, leaving the children to their stupid fight. Searching through your cupboard, you hear a crashing sound, quickly followed by utter and complete silence.

Oh no.

In insight, leaving them alone was maybe not the best idea. You were reconsidering bringing glasses into the mess as you made your way to the origin of the sound. And what a mess it was.

Your friends were all expressing shock in some way, Casey (surprisingly) being the most dramatic of them all with his hands right in front of his face and his jaw hanging open. They were all looking back and forth between you and another direction near the table.

The really cool bowl that held the delicious potatoes you made was broken on the floor. There was glass and potatoes everywhere, but the biggest shards were in a neat pile, right behind Leonardo, who looked like a deer in headlights.

"... nothing happended."

"I'm... starting to think it's a habit of yours," you say as you watch him not so discretely try to hide the broken pieces behind his foot.

"Look, if you keep putting your foot in there you're gonna hurt yourself. Just, step away a bit, will you?"

"I'm sorry I broke it. Let me help you clean up, I don't want you to cut yourself."

"It's okay! Don't touch it, I'll get a bag," you say as he starts to gather the biggest shards.

Won't even listen for one second, will he?

Raph was already picking up the untouched potatoes to put them in the plates on the table, and April went to the kitchen with you to retrieve the bag and cleaning supplies.

"Ew, Mikey don't eat that."

"Thirty seconds rule, baby."

"It's five seconds, you moron. And it's way over thirty anyway. Spit it out."

The rest of the night went on without further issues, but Leo still looked apologetic during the movie. Which is probably why he was standing before you as his brothers were leaving.

"Thank you for the evening. And I'm... sorry again for the bowl."

"Hey it's okay, man. Don't worry about it. As long as no one gets hurt it's not that big of a deal."

"I'll get you a new one." He doesn't wait for your answer and ruffles your hair before taking off.

"Text me when you guys get home!" You scream into the night, hoping one of them heard you.

______________________

Third time

It's surprisingly easy to mess with Fearless.

You were in the living room, getting your ass beat on Mario Kart by Mikey, when you decided to take a break for your stomach (and ego)’s sake. You made your way to the kitchen, where Leo and Raph were in a heated discussion. Raph looked

“I’m telling you, 4 inches is too small. What do you get from 4 inches ? Nothing. But 10 inches ? It really makes you feel something.”

…

What?

You looked down on the table and saw multiple ingredients lined up on the table, with a long piece of bread on the side.

Oh, sandwiches. Got it.

Leo’s back was facing you, but Raph gave you a knowing glance, one that said ‘do it’. So, you did. Not without a smirk, first.

“Oh, wow, Leo ! I didn’t think you’d be so open about that kind of conversations.” You open the fridge, hoping you can hide your smile behind the door.

“What ? What do you m-” His face falls. Raph starts chuckling next to you and it looks like Leo’s brain is rebooting. 

“I mean, I’m not judging. You do you, buddy, I’m happy for you. Just surprised you choose lunch time to talk about it.” And in other circumstances, you’d mean every word. But right now, messing with your friend is too good to pass on.

“No, hold on- I didnt mean- It’s not what you think ! I’m talking about sandwiches !” He tries to show you the ingredients currently on the table, but Raph decides it’s time to join the fun.

“Lying isn’t vey Bushido of you, Honor Boy,” he winks at you and you can’t repress a giggle.

He puts his face in his hands, knowing very well that the both of you ganged up on him but unable to save face. He just smiles, goes back on his chair and hides his head in his arms, hoping you won’t see how embarassed you made him.

“Hey, you like what you like. Have fun with your sandwiches.” You give him an innocent smile, pat him twice on the shoulder, and join Mikey back on the couch with a plate of grapes.

You could hear Raph’s light chuckle from the kitchen.

______________________

Fourth time

Mornings are hard.

And they’re even worse when you spent the whole night sewing an arm back together after a sword gave it a nasty cut. And getting glass shards off of your friend’s shell. And putting a bone back in it’s rightful place after a particularly bad fall.

Yeah. Long night. And a tense one, too.

Because with the physical pain came the chock and residual fears, the anger and blaming. Everyone was stil on guard, and all that tension was exhausting. You barely slept, too worried that one of your friend’s state would degrade if you didn’t keep an eye on them at all times. Which didn’t really help you get the rest you needed.

If you were hoping the morning would be kinder on all of you, you quickly realized that it was a mistake. While, luckily for the turles, the mutagen was already healing their physical wounds, the emotional exhaustion of the previous night was still heavy. Of all of your conscious friends, not one dared break the eerie silence.

It was weird, seeing them like this. But you couldn’t force yourself to say anything, strangely scared of what could happen. You resumed to making breakfast for everyone and bringing clean towels to the still sleeping feverish turtle in the medbay. Splinter and Mikey were at the kitchen table, quietly accepting your offering, when Leo came into the room from the medbay.

He was still half asleep, and in his drowsiness didn’t see the wall he accidentally ran into.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

Everyone turned to Leo, who it took a solid minute of staring blindly at the wall to realize what just happened.

Donnie was the first to laugh. It didn’t take long for april and Mikey to join, soon followed by Splinter affectionately patting his son’s arm. Leo smiled and shook his head, as their lighthearted laugh was contagious.

The leader in blue was more of a goofball than what you first expected, and you were grateful for it in the fading tensions of the morning.

______________________

One time he wasn't

When someone intrudes your home, especially at 4 am when you were sleeping in the next room, a lot of things go through your head.

Did they take anything?

Yes. Your bag with your wallet, some cash, your credit card, your ID, and a few fidelity cards from various stores. Your laptop. A set of keys. That one blanket Raph made you (probably to carry everything without making too much noise).

Why you?

Why not? Your apartment isn't isolated, but it's not exactly on a main street either. It was probably practical for them.

Were they armed?

Who knows. Maybe. Maybe not. Probably. Statistically, most likely.

What could have happened if you had tried to confront them?

A lot of things. Maybe, if you let them know you were awake and knew what was going on, without necessarily confronting them, it would have been enough to make them run away. Or maybe there were multiple armed people, and they wouldn't hesitate to use force if necessary.

Who knows.

Can the police find this person?

Statistically? No. At least, that's what Casey told you when you asked him. Unless they got really lucky, they won't find anything.

Or at least the stuff they stole?

Again, unlikely. Unless they can trace your laptop back to the guy, or someone can give a physical description and a direction, there's not a lot they can do.

What can you do now?

Call your bank. And your insurance. And your landlord. Let them know what happened and follow their directive, they'll guide you through their procedure and help you soften the blow.

Casey was the first person you called when you woke up this night, and he was at your place within minutes with two other colleagues (the closest he could find). He spent the rest of the night reassuring you, helping you with the phone calls, asking around for witnesses, but nothing.

It's weird, feeling unsafe for the first time in a place you had called Home for years. It's disturbing. You can feel the nausea your anxiety is giving you, and a headache starts to grow at the back of your skull.

You don't really like this feeling.

So when your turtle friends dropped by the next evening without telling you and you welcomed them with a swing of your favorite pan, let's just say reactions were split.

"I can hack into your computer to find its location if you want. Wouldn't be the first time."

"What?"

"What? I mean, I didn't do it for your location last time. I know all about your search history, though."

"We're gonna have a talk about boundaries and privacy once we're done dealing with that," you sigh. You crash down on the couch next to your friend and mindlessly watch him work.

Leo comes up to you and gently nudges your shoulder. "Hey, do you have a toolbox somewhere? We brought locks to put on your door and windows. You know, just in case."

You nod, quiet, and lead him to your room where you keep most of the most useful stuff you own, including but not limited to a toolbox and a first aid kit.

Your movements were almost mechanical as you retrieved the box and handed it to him, and you decided to help him put up the locks to keep your mind occupied.

He was concerned. You looked like you were still in choc, which he could completely understand. Getting robbed is awful in itself, but getting robbed while you're sleeping in the next room? Horrific, in his mind.

He was also furious. He couldn't be there for you. This person had the nerves to go after his friend, and what if you got hurt? He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.

He noticed he was staring when your eyes met his.

"Hey. We're gonna do whatever we can to find them. We're also gonna focus our patrols in your neighborhood for at least a few weeks, until you feel better," he puts a hand on your shoulder. "It's gonna be okay Y/N. Trust me."

You look up to him, and when you look into his eyes, you know he means it. You let your head fall against his plastron as he holds you against him, a silent promise for safety.

"Hey shorty," Raph pulls his head into the crack of the door to address you. "Wanna learn how to fight? I can turn you into a death machine."

You heard the faint "Raph, what the fuck" coming from Mikey who was still in the living room.

You gave a small laugh as you got up, Leo following you closely to the living room.

"Hey! Fighting isn't for everyone. But I could make you a really cool taser, if you want."

"What's with you and tasers?"

"They're efficient."

The bell ringed and April came in holding 4 boxes of pizza, that Mikey assisted her with as soon as she set a foot inside.

You looked around at your friends as April brandished the pizzas like a trophy while Raph and Donnie went back and forth trying to decide who, between man power and electricity, would win in a fight.

And you realized that yes, Leo was right.

It's gonna be okay.

[vickyvicarious]

Leverage Redemption Pros/Cons List

Okay! Now that I've finally finished watching the first half of Leverage: Redemption, I thought I'd kind of sum up my overall impression. Sort of a pro/con list, except a little more just loosely structured rambles on each bullet point rather than a simple list.

This got way out of hand from what I expected so I'm going to put it all under a cut. If you want the actual bulletpoint list, here it is:

PROS

References

Continuity

Nate

Representation

Themes

New Characters

General Vibe

CONS

'Maker and Fixer'

Episode Twins

Sophie's Stagefright

Thiefsome

You might notice the pros list is longer, and that's because I do love the show! I really like most of what it does, and my gripes are fewer in number and mostly smaller in size. But they do exist and I felt like talking about them as well as the stuff I loved.

PROS

References

There is clearly so much love and respect for the original show here. Quite aside from the general situation, there's a lot of references to individual episodes or character traits from the first show. For example, Parker's comments on disliking clowns, liking puppets, disliking horses, stabbing vs. tasing people. The tasing was an ongoing thing in the original, the stabbing happened once (S1) but was referenced later in the original show, the clown thing only had a few mentions scattered across the entire original show. The puppet thing was mentioned once in S5, and the horses thing in particular was only brought up in S1 once. But they didn't miss the chance to put the nod to it in there; in fact with those alone we see a good mix of common/ongoing jokes and smaller details.

We got "dammit Hardison" and "it's a very distinctive..." but also Eliot and Parker arguing about him catering a mob wedding, and Eliot being delighted by lemon as a secret ingredient in a dish in that same episode (another reference to the mob episode). Hardison and Eliot banter about "plan M", an ongoing joke starting from the very first episode of the original show. We see Sophie bring up Hardison's accent in the Ice Job, Parker also makes reference to an early episode when describing "backlash effect" to Breanna, in an episode that also references her brother slightly if you look for it.

Heck, the last episode of these first eight makes a big deal out of nearly reproducing the iconic opening lines of the original show with Fake Nate's "we provide... an advantage." And I mean, all the "let's go steal a ___" with Harry being confused about how to use them.

Some of the lines are more obviously references to the original show, but they strike a decent balance with smaller or unspoken stuff as well, and also mix in some references between the team to events we the audience have never seen. If someone was coming into this show for the first time, they wouldn't get all the easter egg joy but most of the references would stand on their own as dialogue anyway. In general, I think they struck a good balance of restating needed context for new viewers while still having enough standalone good lines and more-fun-if-you-get-it callbacks.

Continuity

Similar to the last point, but slightly different. The characters' development from the original to now is shown so well. I'm not going to go on about this too long, but the writers clearly didn't want to let the original characters stagnate during the offscreen years. There was a lot of real thought put into how they would change or not.

It's really written well. We can see just how cohesive a team Parker, Hardison, and Eliot became. We get a sense of how they've spent their time, and there's plenty of evidence that they remained incredibly close with Sophie and Nate until this past year. The way everyone defers to Parker is different from the original show and clearly demonstrates how she's been well established as the leader for years now - they show this well even as Parker is stepping back to let Sophie take point in these episodes. Eventually that is actually called out by Sophie in the eighth episode, so we might see more mastermind Parker in the back half of the show, maybe. But even with her leading, it's clear how collaborative the team has become, with everyone bouncing ideas off one another and adding their input freely. Sometimes they even get so caught up they leave the newbies completely in the dust. But for the most part we get a good sense of how the Parker/Hardison/Eliot team worked with her having final say on plans but the others discussing everything together. A little bit more collaborative than it was with Nate at the helm.

Meanwhile Sophie has built a home and is deeply attached to it. She and Nate really did retire, at least for the most part, and she was living her happy ending until he died. She's out of practice but still as skilled as ever, and we're shown how much her grief has changed her and how concerned the others are for her.

There's a lot of emphasis on how they all look after one another and the found family is clearer than ever. Sophie even calls Hardison "his father's son" - clearly referring to Nate.

Nate

Speaking of Nate! They handled his loss so, so well. His story was the most complete at the end of the last show, and just from a narrative point, losing him makes the most sense of all the characters. But the way he dies and his impact on the show and the characters continues. It's very respectful to who he was - who he truly was.

Nate was someone they all loved, but he was a deeply flawed individual. Sophie talks about how he burned too hot, but at least he burned - possibly implying to me that his drinking was related to his death. In any case, there's no mystery to it. We don't know how he died but that's not what's most important about his death. This isn't a quest for revenge or anything... it's just a study of grief and trying to heal.

Back to who he really was real quick - the show doesn't eulogize him as better than he was. They're honest about him. From the first episode's toast they raise in his memory, to the final episode where Sophie and Eliot are deeply confused by Fake Nate singing his praises, the team knows who he was. They don't erase his flaws... but at the same time he was so clearly theirs. He was family, he was the man they trusted and loved and followed into incredibly dangerous situations, and whose loss they all still feel deeply.

That said, the show doesn't harp on this point. They reference him, but they don't overwhelm new viewers with a constant barrage of Nate talk. It always serves a purpose, primarily for Sophie's storyline of moving through her grief. Anyway, @robinasnyder said all of this way better than me here, so go read that as well.

Representation

Or should I say, Jewish Hardison, Autistic Parker, Queer Breanna!

Granted, Hardison's religion isn't quite explicitly stated to be Jewish so much as he mentions that his "Nana runs a multi-denominational household", but nonetheless. He gets the shows big thesis statement moment, he gets a beautiful speech about redemption that is the emotional cornerstone of that episode and probably Harry's entire arc throughout the show. And while I'm not Jewish myself, most of what I've seen from Jewish fans is saying that Hardison's words here were excellent representation of their beliefs. (@featherquillpen does a great job in that meta of contextualizing this with his depiction in the original show as well.)

Autistic Parker, however, is shown pretty dang blatantly. She already was very much coded as autistic in the original show, but the reboot has if anything gone further. She sees a child psychologist because she likes using puppets to represent emotions, she stims, she uses cue cards and pre-written scripts for social interactions, there's mention of possible texture sensitivity and her clothes are generally more loose and comfortable. She's gotten better at performing empathy and understanding how people typically work, but it's specifically described as something she learned how to do and she views her brain as being different from ones that work that way (same link). Again, not autistic myself but from what I've seen autistic fans find a lot to relate to in her portrayal. And best of all, this well-rounded and respectful depiction does not show any of these qualities as a lack on her part. There's no more of those kinda ableist comments or "what's wrong with you" jokes that were in the original show. Parker is the way she is, and that allows her to do things differently. She's loved for who she is, and any effort made to fit in is more just to know how so that she can use it to her advantage when she wants to on the job - for her convenience, not others' comfort.

Speaking of loved for who you are.... okay, again, queer Breanna isn't confirmed onscreen yet, and I don't count Word of God as true canon. But I can definitely believe we're building there. Breanna dresses in a very GNC way, and just her dialogue and, I dunno, vibes seem very queer to me. She has a beautiful speech in the Card Game Job about not belonging or being accepted and specifically mentions "the way they love" as one of those things that made her feel like she didn't belong. And that scene is given so much weight and respect. (Not to mention other hints throughout the episode about how much finding her own space meant to her.) Also, the whole theme of feeling rejected and the key for her to begin really flourishing is acceptance for who she is, not any desire for her to be anyone else, is made into another big moment. Yeah, textually that moment is about her feeling like she has to fill Hardison's shoes and worrying about her past, but the themes are there, man.

Themes

I talked a bit about this yesterday, so I'm mostly just going to link to that post, but... this series so far is doing a really good job in my opinion of giving people arcs and having some good themes. Namely the redemption one, from Hardison's speech (which I'm gonna talk a little more about in the next point), and this overall theme of growing up and looking to the future (from above the linked post).

New Characters

Harry and Breanna are fantastic characters. I was kind of worried about Harry being a replacement Nate, but... he really isn't. Sure, he's the older white guy who has an angsty past but it's in a very different way and his personality and relationships with the rest of the crew are correspondingly different. I think the dynamic of a very friendly, cheerful, kind, but still bad guy (as @soundsfaebutokay points out) is a great one to show, and he's got a really cool arc I think of learning to be a better person, and truly understanding Hardison's point about redemption being a process not a goal. His role on the team also has some interesting applications and drawbacks, as @allegorymetaphor talked about. I've kind of grown to think that the show is gradually building up to an eventual Sophie/Harry romance a ways down the line, and I'm actually here for it. Regardless, his relationships with everyone are really interesting.

As for Breanna, first of all and most importantly I love her. Secondly, I think she's got a really interesting story. She's a link to Hardison's past, and provides a really interesting perspective for us as someone younger who has grown up a) looking up to Leverage and b) in a bleaker and more hopeless world. Breanna's not an optimist, and she's not someone who was self-sufficient and unconcerned with the rest of the world at the start, like everyone else. She believes that the world sucks and she wants it to be better, but she doesn't know how to make that happen. She outright says she's desperate and that's why she's working with Leverage. At the same time, Breanna is pretty down on herself and wants to prove herself but gets easily shaken by mistakes or being scolded, which is a stark contrast to Hardison's general self-confidence. There are several times when she starts to have an idea then hesitates to share it, or expects her emotions to be dismissed, or gets really disheartened when she's corrected or rejected, or dwells on her mistakes, or when she is accepted or praised she usually takes a surprised beat and is shy about it (she almost always looks down and away from the person, and her smile is often small or startled). Breanna looks up to the team so much (Parker especially, then probably Eliot) and she wants to prove herself. It's going to be so good to see her grow.

General Vibe

A brief note, but it seems a fitting one to end on. The show keeps it's overall tone and feeling from the original show. The fun, the competency porn, the bad guys and clever plans and happy endings. It's got differences for sure, but the characters are recognizably themselves and the show as a whole is recognizably still Leverage. For the most part they just got the feeling right, and it's really nice.

CONS (no, not that kind)

'Maker and Fixer'

So when I started writing this meta earlier today, I was actually a lot more annoyed by the lack of unique 'maker' skills being shown by Breanna. Basically the only time she tries to use a drone, the very thing she introduced herself as being good at, it breaks instantly. I was concerned about her being relegated into just doing what Hardison did, instead of bringing her own stuff to the table. But the seventh episode eased some of those fears, and the meta I just wrote for someone else asking about Breanna's 'maker' skills as shown this season made me realize there's more nuance than that. I'd still like to have seen more of that from her, but for now the fact that we don't see a lot of 'maker' from her so far seems more like a character decision based in Breanna's insecurities.

Harry definitely gets more 'inside man' usage. His knowledge as a 'fixer' comes in handy several times. Nonetheless, I'm really curious if there are any bigger ways to use it, aside from him just adding in some exposition/insight from time to time. I'm not even entirely sure how much more they can pull from this premise in terms of relevant skills, but I hope there's more and I'd like to see it. Maybe a con built more around him playing a longer role playing his old self, like they tried in the Tower Job? Maybe it's more a matter of him needed distance from that part of his past, being unable to face it without lashing out - in that case it could be a good character growth moment possibly for him to succeed in being Scummy Lawyer again down the line? I dunno.

Episode Twins

This was something small that kind of bothered me a little earlier in the season. It's kind of the negative side to the references, I guess? And I'm not even sure how much it annoys me really, but I just kinda noticed and felt sort of weird about it.

Rollin' on the River has a lot of references/callbacks to the The Wedding Job.

The Tower Job has a lot of references/callbacks to The White Rabbit Job.

The Paranormal Hacktivity Job has a lot of references/callbacks to the Future Job.

I guess I was getting a little concerned that there would be a 'match this episode' situation where almost every new Redemption episode is very reminiscent of an old one. I love the callbacks, but I don't want to see a lack of creativity in this new show, and this worried me for a minute. Especially when it was combined with all three of those episodes dealing with housing issues of some kind. Now, that's a huge concern for a lot of people, and each episode has its own take on a different problem within that huge umbrella, but it still got me worried about a lack of variety in topics/cases.

The rest of the episodes failing to line up so neatly in my head with older episodes helped a lot to ease this one, though. Still, this is my complaining section so I figured I'd express my concerns as they were at the time. Even if I no longer really worry about it much.

Sophie's Stagefright

Yeah, I know this is just a small moment in a single episode, but it annoyed me! Eliot made a bit of a face at Sophie going onstage, but I thought it was just him being annoyed at the general situation. However, they started out with her being awful up there until she realized the poem was relevant to the con - at which point her reading got so much better.

This felt like a complete betrayal of Sophie's beautiful moment at the end of the original show where she got over her trouble with regular acting and played Lady Macbeth beautifully in front of a full theater of audience members. This was part of the con, but only in the sense that it gave her an alibi/place to hide, and I always interpreted it as her genuinely getting over her stagefright problems. It felt like such a beautiful place to end her arc for that show, especially after all her time spent directing.

Now, her difficulty onstage in the Card Game Job was brief and at the very beginning of being up on stage. @rinahale suggested to me that maybe it was a deliberate tactic to draw the guy's attention, and the later skill was simply her shifting focus to make the sonnet easier for Breanna to listen to and interpret, but he seemed more enraptured when she was doing well than otherwise in my opinion and it just doesn't quite sit well with me. My other theory was that maybe she just hasn't been up on stage in a long time, and much like she complaining about being rusty at grifting before the team pushed her into trying, she got nervous for a moment at the very beginning. The problem there is that I think she'd definitely still get involved in theater even when she and Nate were retired. I guess she could've quit after he died, and a year might be long enough to make her doubt herself again, but... still.

I just resent that they even left it ambiguous at all. Sophie's skills should be solid on stage at this point in my opinion.

Thiefsome

...And now we come to my main complaint. This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the show.

I feel like I should put a disclaimer here that I had my doubts from the beginning about the thiefsome becoming canon onscreen. I thought the famous "the OT3 is safe" tweet could easily just mean that they are all still alive and well, or all still working together, without giving us confirmation of a romantic relationship. Despite this, the general fandom expectations/hopes really got to me, especially with the whole "lock/pick/key" thing. I tried to temper my expectations again when the character descriptions came out and only mentioned Hardison loving Parker, not Eliot, but I still got my hopes up.

The thing is, I was disappointed pretty quickly.

The very first episode told me that in all likelihood we would never see Hardison and Parker and Eliot together in a romantic sense. Oh, there was so much coding. So much hinting. So much in the way of conversations that were about Parker/Hardison's relationship but then Eliot kept getting brought into them. They were portrayed as a unit of three.

But then there was this.

I love all of those scenes of Parker and Hardison being intimate and loving and comfortable with one another and their relationship. I really do. But it didn't escape my notice that there's nothing of the sort with Eliot. If they wanted a canon onscreen thiefsome, it would by far make the most sense to just have it established from the start. But there aren't any scenes where Eliot shares the same kind of physical closeness with either of them like they do each other. Parker and Hardison kiss; he doesn't kiss anyone. They have several clearly romantic conversations when alone; he gets important conversations with both but the sense of it being romantic isn't there.

Establishing Eliot as part of the relationship after Hardison is gone just... doesn't make any sense. It would be more likely to confuse new viewers, to make them wonder if Parker is cheating on Hardison with Eliot, or if they have a Y shaped relationship rather that a triangle. It would be so much clumsier.

Still, up until the Double-Edged-Sword Job I believed the writers might keep it at this level of 'plausible hinting but not quite saying'. There's a lot of great stuff with all of them, and I never expecting making out or whatever anyway; a cheek-kiss was about the height of my hopes to be honest. I mostly just hoped for outright confirmation and, failing that, I was happy enough to have the many hints and implications.

But then Marshal Maria Shipp came along. And I don't really have anything against her as a character - in fact, I think she has interesting story potential and will definitely come back. But the episode framed her fight with Eliot as a sexyfight TM, much like his fight with Mikel back in the day. And then his flirting with her rode the line a little of "he's playing her for the con" and "he's genuinely flirting." The scene where he tells her his real name is particularly iffy, but actually was the one that convinced me he was playing her. Because he seems to be watching her really closely, and to be very concerned about her figuring out who he really is. I am very aware though that I'm doing a lot of work to interpret it the way I want. On surface appearance, Eliot's just flirting with an attractive woman, like he did on the last show. And that's probably the intention, too.

But the real nail in the coffin for me was when Sophie compared herself and Nate to Eliot and Maria. That was a genuine scene, not the continuation of the teasing from before. And Sophie is the one whose insight into people is always, always trustworthy. She is family to the thiefsome. For this to make any sense, either Eliot/Parker/Hardison isn't a thing, or they are and Sophie doesn't know - and I can't imagine why in the hell she wouldn't know.

Any argument to make them still canon leaves me unsatisfied. If she knows and they haven't admitted it to her - why wouldn't they, after all this time? Why would she not have picked up on it even without an outright announcement? Some people suggested they wouldn't admit it because they thought Nate would be weird about it, but that doesn't seem any more in character to me than the other possibilities. In fact, the only option that doesn't go against my understanding of these people and their observational abilities/the close relationship they share.... is that the thiefsome is not a thing.

And furthermore, the implication of this conversation - especially the way it ended, with Eliot stomping off looking embarrassed while Sophie smiled knowingly - is that Eliot will get into another relationship onscreen. Maybe not a full-blown romantic relationship. But the Maria Shipp tension is going to be resolved somehow, and at this point I'm half-expecting a hook-up simply because of Sophie's reaction and how much I trust her judgement of such things. Even if she's letting her grief cloud her usual perceptiveness... it feels iffy.

It just kinda feels like I wasn't even allowed to keep my "interpret these hints/maybe they are" thiefsome that I expected after the first couple episodes convinced me we wouldn't get outright confirmation. (I mean, I will anyway, and I love the hints and allusions regardless.) And while I'm definitely not the kind of fan who is dependent on canon for my ships, and still enjoy all their interactions/will keep right on headcanoning them all in a relationship, it's just.... a bummer.

Feels like a real cop-out. Like the hints of Breanna being queer are enough to meet their quota and they won't try anything 'risky' like a poly relationship. I dunno. It's annoying.

.

That's the end of the list! Again, overall I love the new show a lot and have few complaints.

[fbfh]

here’s to always finding each other

pairing: percy x gn child of calliope reader

wc: 1.6k

warnings: percy kisses reader following a prior agreement that they don’t remember but it’s 100% consentual, you work retail, a hell yeah, memory loss, I think that’s it

summary: You didn’t really expect to have to spend your entire eight hour shift organizing shoe wax any more than you expected your fictional crush from middle school to be real and your boyfriend. Only one of those happened (and the shoe wax was still very disorganized when you left).

song rec: this lofi mix, boba manifesto - chris flemming (mostly as a joke but it slaps)

a/n: i am wOrKiNg oN tHiNgS!!!!!! It’s going well!!! expect some fun surprises soon!!!!!!!!!

Crouched down on the ground, rearranging an end cap of shoe wax in the men’s department wasn’t really what you thought being a grownup would be like as a kid. You can’t complain too much, the pay is pretty good and working conditions are decent - as much as they can be in retail. You stand up to check your progress (and stretch your legs) and notice that guy is still there. He’s been hovering around the athletic shirts and pants for a while, and he keeps checking his phone and looking around. You’re sure he’s probably just waiting for someone, but you’re considering asking if you can help him find anything. 

He has a vaguely familiar energy, and your stomach drops for a moment, hoping you don’t know him from school or something. God, that would be a nightmare. That’s happened to you once or twice, bumping into someone you went to school with, and it’s always as bad as you expect. 

‘You know what,’ you think, trying to see if you can fit the last few containers of wax on the shelf without making them topple over, ‘he’s probably fine. If he needs help he’ll ask for it.’ 

You go back to scanning and adjusting the prices of the clearance shoe polish - the company had changed their packaging recently, so it’s out with the old and in with the identical - but you still can’t shake the feeling of familiarity. 

He turns around, holding up an orange shirt that says ‘go for it’ in a ridiculous font, and you get a glimpse of his face. 

You crouch back down so he won’t catch you staring, and the realization dawns on you. He looks a lot like Percy Jackson from the books you read in middle school. Or was it high school? Everything between 6th grade and high school graduation is kind of blurry and confusing in your memory. Man, you should really re-read those, you heard there was a TV series in the works and you want to remember all the details for when it comes out. You’re a little surprised at how nervous that revelation makes you, like the feeling when you’re a kid going to a theme park and you can see the roller coasters as you pull into the parking lot. Weird. Anyway, it’s not the first time you’ve seen a customer who looks like a character from something. One time you saw someone who you swore looked just like Pidge from the Voltron reboot that came out a few years ago, and a coworker saw a girl who looked like an anime character she loves… Raka something? Her name sounded like gravity, but that wasn’t it. You shrug, making a mental note to ask her about it later. 

You stand up once again to take one final look before you move onto the next end cap, and see that the guy is standing next to you. You look up at him, and all those weird feelings of excitement and something close to anticipation amplify, as you get a closer look at him. He really, really looks like Percy Jackson. Like if the Viria art was a real person. 

“Uh… hi, can I help you find anything today?” You ask, snapping out of your daze and into your customer service voice. He takes a second before answering, and you’re a little unnerved by the way he’s looking at you; warm and intimately, like he’s known you for years. 

“No,” he replies, a dreamy tone to his voice, “I’ve got everything I need.” You’re pleasantly surprised and a little freaked out that he even has the accent. Seriously, if he’s not already, this guy should really get into cosplay. Also, is he flirting with you? He seems to realize what he just said, and backtracks slightly. 

“Actually, um, I was wondering if you could help me out with something over here,” he says, and you agree, in your signature chipper tone. He guides you to a table covered in various sweatpants behind a mirror. 

He glances around again, and you have to ask. 

“You know, if you’re having trouble finding someone we can-”

“Walkie customer service to have my group meet me at the front desk.” He finishes seamlessly. 

“It’s not my first time at the rodeo,” he chuckles, and you get the feeling there’s more meaning behind what he’s saying, like an inside joke you’re not a part of. 

“Oh… yeah.” you say, and he can sense your surprise, “How did you…” you trail off, and he can sense the silent question in your voice. He lets out a breathy chuckle, cheeks flushed pink.

“Like this.” 

He catches your face in his hands, and presses his lips to yours. Your eyes widen in shock, mostly at the fact that you don’t feel threatened by his presence at all. You’re shocked at how comfortable you feel around him, how you feel in your bones that you’ve known him for years when the logical side of your brain is telling you that you first saw him ten minutes ago. He pulls away, searching your eyes for… something. 

“Uh…” you glance away, brow slightly furrowed, then back up at him, “what the fuck?” 

His expression softens, and he says gently, “Give it a minute.” 

You’re about to ask him to give what a minute, when a barrage of memories, feelings, people you don’t think you’ve ever met but seemed to be best friends with knocks you off your feet. You try to take in a breath, but the air in the room seems to have taken a temporary vacation from your lungs. 

You look up at him, eyes flared in understanding and shock. He mutters something in confirmation. Someone yells nearby, and you both look over to an adolescent boy asking his mom why he can’t wear neon basketball shorts to school. Percy looks back over at you.

“Is there somewhere a little more-” the mom starts arguing back and forth with her son at a louder volume, and he continues, “private… where we could talk?”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll… I’ll get somewhere.”

A few minutes later, you’re sitting across from each other on two step stools in one of the stock rooms. You’re still surprised at how easily you had lied to your boss that your long distance boyfriend showed up a few weeks early after over a year of not being able to see each other, and you needed a moment to catch up. She had agreed readily, asking that you tell her when you’re ready to get back to your tasks. 

“I’m sorry about that,” he starts, snapping you out of your train of thought, and you look up at him, “I never would have kissed you without asking, but you made me promise last time that the next time you lose your memories I would get them back to you as fast as I can.” 

“Uh, it’s okay, I feel like I remember talking about that.” Your memories are still fuzzy, but coming back sporadically.

“It can take a few days for them to come back fully.” He adds. 

The most surreal part of this is you remember vividly what happened in the books - because you lived through it. You hold back a giddy laugh bubbling up.

“So…” you begin, and he looks at you, his gaze warm, “it’s all real?” you breathe the words, almost afraid of an answer. 

“Yeah,” he chuckles, looking away briefly, overwhelmed that you’re with him once again.

“The short version is, since your godly parent is Calliope, you sometimes get sent to other worlds. You kind of have to hop scotch from one place to another, like getting a goldfish used to a new bowl of water. The mist - or sometimes,” he glances up, pointedly and irritable, “other factors - usually take away a lot of your memories. They say it’s to make the transition easier, but who knows. Anyway, there are these waypoints, kind of like a time loop that you hang out in until you’re either ready to leave or one of us finds you first.”

“So this…” you motion around to the rows of cardboard boxes filled with plastic cups and paper towels. He nods and you let out a laugh of relief that you really won’t have to work here long term. 

“As soon as you’re ready we should probably head out to camp. It’s gonna be a bit of a drive.” 

“Wait, it’s all like… here? Like in this world?”

“Yeah,” he smiles again, once more sending butterflies through your chest. 

You let out a disbelieving, excited laugh.

“Alright. Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.” 

Before you can get up, he takes your hand in his. He watches his fingers skim back and forth for a minute before looking up at you. 

“You know that I’ll always find you, right?” there’s an overwhelming torrent of emotions he’s somehow managing to convey through his eyes. 

“It doesn’t matter where you go, or how long you’re gone, or if we even remember each other. I will always find you.” His hand comes up to your cheek for the second time today, and your head tilts into his embrace automatically. You somehow trust him more than anyone or anything else right now. You nod gently.

“I do.”

He glances away again, cheeks flushing red, and he sighs, kissing your forehead. 

You get up and head towards the exit together, and he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

“How about we get some bubble tea once we’re in the city?”

“Oh hell yeah!” 

You don’t remember the last time you had bubble tea, but it sounds really, really good right now. 

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, long time followers will probably remember having read this, but I can’t find the original post and I’m trying to like.....force-reboot/jumpstart me working on my ‘Kings of the Sky’ AU again because I haven’t touched it in awhile and I have like literally eight different installments in various stages of completion and that’s ridiculous even for me. So here’s a repost of the first part of “Teachable Moments” the canon-divergence point of that AU series, where Jason calls Dick for advice after the Garzonas case and everything changes from there.

******

The way Jason Todd warily eyed the device in his hand, one might think it was an instrument of great and terrible destructive power, rather than just…his own personal cell-phone.

To be fair, he was Robin, and pretty used to the idea that even the most unlikely of things could be used for evil in Gotham. It could’ve been stolen and replaced at some point by a henchperson of Mr. Freeze, and using it could unleash some kind of cryogenic freeze ray that would turn him into a Robinsicle. Mad Hatter could be up to shit again, and dialing the phone at this very minute might mean syncing it up with a remote radio signal that would override his natural brainwaves and turn him into Tetch’s mindless minion of like…doom and stuff. Or…or…

Or sometimes, even in Gotham a phone is just a phone, and Freud is still a dumbass. And neither of the above possibilities had anything to do with why Jason was being a giant freaking pansy about entering the last digit of the phone number he would never ever admit to having had memorized for months now.

Nightwing had said to call if he ever needed to talk. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t actually want Jason to call, right? Like, its not as if Jason had remotely been expecting him to do that, so its not the sort of thing someone did just because it was ‘expected’ or shit. He was pretty sure. Rich people manners were weird though. Had to factor that in.

But Nightwing had also even made a point to say not talking to people about stuff was Bruce’s problem and that Jason shouldn’t let it be his problem too, and even though months ago Jason had been a starry-eyed dumbass who was totally drunk on the Bruce is the Bestest Kool-Aid or whatever, ‘Wing had definitely known what he was talking about there. So maybe he’d get it, and having this conversation with him wouldn’t be. Like. The actual worst idea in the history of ever.

Deductive logic said that Jason was getting worked up over nothing and there was no rational reason for him to be this nervous about dialing a fucking phone number. And he’d gotten pretty good at the whole deduction shit, given all the work he and Bruce had put into training his mind to view the world through entirely new paradigms, so Jason was pretty sure his math on that checked out. But on the other hand, Bruce was a hypocritical asshat that Jason was currently not speaking to, so what the fuck did he know about anything?

Aaaaand he was back to square one. Well damn. This was excellent. Very productive. Good hustle out there, Jay.

Sighing gustily, Jason flopped back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to pretend he hadn’t gotten used to how luxurious and cushion-y his ridiculously expensive mattress was. He’d gotten soft, he told himself. Then he scoffed at the idea that the past year and a half of rigorous Robin training and patrols had made him less tough than the pipsqueak he’d been back when living on the street, getting his ass kicked by bigger and badder on the regular. That hadn’t been hardness, that had been bravado.

But it had gotten him this far in life, so maybe there was something to be said for it after all?

Ugh. Decisions were hard. He objected on principle. He also really wanted to understand why he was this nervous…if he could literally fill the guy’s shoes and kick supervillain ass as Robin, what freaking sense did it make that he couldn’t even call him up on the phone?

Maybe you just know better than to ask him questions you don’t really want to hear his answer to, a smug voice said in the back of his mind. It sounded suspiciously like Willis Todd, which was all kinds of weird and fucked up, cuz Jason was damn sure his abusive a-hole of a deadbeat dad had never said anything that insightful in his life.

Which meant it was his own screwed up subconscious - presenting in the voice of his not so dearly departed douchebag dad, no less - that had Jason reacting out of spite, entering the last number and hitting Talk, all while totally on autopilot. Because apparently we’re all making healthy life choices in this Chili’s tonight, Jason snickered somewhat hysterically while his phone rang once, twice, three times.

Ugh. Was he always this fucked up in the head and he just never noticed, or was it a side effect of running around rooftops in a cape. Inquiring minds wanted to know.

“Hello?” Someone said then, answering on the fourth ring. Jason sat bolt upright, his nervous humor vanishing as quickly and unexpectedly as it’d hijacked him in the first place. For all that he’d only actually interacted with the older man a few times, his voice was instantly recognizable. As was his slight confusion.

Right. Because why would Nightwing have the untraceable number of the latest burner phone Bruce had given Jason, when the ever paranoid Bat had him swapping out phones every freaking week? Duh, Jay.

“Uh, its me,” Jason said hastily, as if he could somehow catch up to and overtake the epically long ten second silence he let lapse before his mouth started making words again. “Jason?”

“Jaybird! Hey! What’s going on?” The older vigilante’s tone instantly morphed into one of surprised delight, so apparent even across the phone that Jason actually pulled it away from his ear and stared at it, as if that could explain Nightwing’s inexplicable giddiness. He’d literally only met the dude three times. Give or take a concussion he was forgetting about maybe? Weird.

Then again, the older man was a circus performer from birth. Might just be good at faking being super excited to hear from people? Whatever. Still weird.

“Uh, you said to call if I was ever having, I dunno, issues with Bruce I guess? So I kinda had a question? I mean, if you’re not busy or anything.”

Just one question? Willis’ voice asked snidely, echoing in time with the rapid tripartite beat of Jason’s heart. Since apparently everything Jason said was trying to come out with a question mark attached to the end of it at the moment. Ugh, fuck you, subconscious, Jason thought forcefully, even as he ransacked the recesses of his mind for that bravado he was thinking about earlier. It had to be in here somewhere…

“No worries dude, I’ve got time. Hit me!” Nightwing said cheerfully. His lighthearted cadences were so at odds with the sweat suddenly breaking out on Jason’s forehead, the younger teen couldn’t help but wince in anticipation of its inevitable change once he got his actual question out. This was a bad idea, he decided, way too fucking late for it to make a difference. He had a hunch Nightwing wouldn’t be content to ‘just forget it’ or whatever even if Jason chickened out now.

So he took a deep breath, shrugged and did what Jason Todd did best. Said fuck it, put pedal to the metal, and drove at full speed for the metaphorical police barricade that was his way of picturing all the things telling him He Should Definitely Just Not.

“Do you think I’m someone who could kill somebody in like, cold blood?”

Aaaaand there went the lightheartedness. Well, he’d definitely stone cold killed that, Jason thought grimly into the silence that followed.

“Huh,” Nightwing said at last. “You’re gonna have to give me a second to switch gears here, Jay. I was kinda expecting something along the lines of ‘how do I avoid Bruce giving me the safe sex talk.’”

Jason flushed and nodded jerkily, not that the older man could see it. Still, it’d been enough of a workout just getting to this point. He didn’t trust what might come out of his mouth next if he kept trying to force it. Thankfully Nightwing didn’t make him wait too long before continuing.

“I think anyone’s capable of killing somebody in the right circumstances,” Jason’s predecessor began carefully. Except that was not remotely what he wanted to hear. Or helpful.

“I’m not looking for platitudes,” Jason grit out, not angry at the other vigilante so much as the whole fucked up mess and his inability to think about anything else at this point. “It’s just a simple fucking question. You’ve met me, do you think like, I’d be capable of just killing somebody or not.”

“I’m not offering platitudes,” Nightwing continued calmly, as if he wasn’t phased by the younger boy’s interruption or sudden aggression at all. “And its not a simple question at all. Speaking from experience, most people wouldn’t think of an eight year old as a cold-blooded killer, but that’s what I could have been if Bruce hadn’t stopped me from killing my parents’ murderer when I first tracked him down. And yet that’s still totally different from when I held a gun on Two-Face barely a couple years later, about to shoot him because somebody else told me to, and because I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me. Wouldn’t you agree those are two different situations and two different ‘kinds’ of cold-blooded killer? Context is kinda a big deal here.”

Huh. First off…what the fuck? Jason stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying to hurry up the processing functions of his brain because, again, what the fuck? He was like ninety nine percent positive none of that had been in the Dick Grayson Is The Greatest and Here Are All The Reasons Why brochure he’d had read to him every time someone new found out he was Wayne’s newest stray, and like. Uh. Yeah, that part would have definitely stood out. Because once more, with feeling:

“What the fuck?”

Oops. That hadn’t been supposed to be out loud. Bad mouth. Bad.

Nightwing just did a weird kinda half laugh half sigh combo. Rueful, Jason would describe it, if he were describing it to someone else, which it kind of felt like he was, relaying the conversation to himself now that it’d taken a hard right turn into the surreal.

“Blindsided you with that, huh? Sorry, should’ve figured neither of those are the kinda stories Bruce would want to share with you. Then again, I don’t really have any idea what Bruce has told you about me.”

“Not much,” Jason admitted. Which was a major source of irritation, if he was being honest. The much sung praises of Dick Grayson came from literally everyone he met except for Bruce. Who usually just got a pinched expression whenever Jason brought him up, and a rapid subject change that was not nearly as subtle as Bruce seemed to think it was.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Nightwing sighed. “I hope you haven’t put too much stock in anything else you’ve heard about me then. I’ll admit to a bad habit of enjoying my mystique, so secondhand hearsay tends to lose my best nuances.”

Despite himself, Jason’s lips curved up and he let out a rueful huff of his own. “I mean, this definitely isn’t where I saw this conversation going.”

The older man chuckled. “Thought I was going to just assume the worst and chuck the book at you?”

“Well. Yeah.” Jason shrugged, even though he knew it wouldn’t come across. “Bruce did.”

Nightwing heaved an exasperated breath. “Yeah, that’s kinda the thing about B. Sometimes, he’s great. Other times, he’s an ass. Its kinda an either or thing. He’s never really mastered the art of finding a midpoint between two extremes. Mostly because he’s never seen the point of aiming for middle ground.”

“Well its not like he’s ever really had to,” Jason griped. It just slipped out before he could stop it, leaving him feeling guilty for bad-mouthing B when he wasn’t around to defend himself. Especially since he knew Nightwing wasn’t the guy’s biggest fan these days. But he couldn’t deny it also felt good, in a way.

To his surprise, Nightwing just laughed. And not even in a malicious, spiteful kind of way, but almost relieved.

“God, thank you. You’d think that ‘hey, so my billionaire guardian kinda has entitlement issues’ would be a water is wet kind of revelation, but try saying something like that to pretty much anyone else…”

“And they look at you like you’re an ungrateful asshole?” Jason finished for him. Not that he’d ever actually tried saying that to anyone before, though he’d definitely thought it a time or two. But he could all too easily imagine the reactions he’d get, which was pretty much why he’d never gone so far as to speak the words.

“Yup,” Nightwing drawled, dragging out the p and popping it with emphasis. “And its not about being grateful or not, its just…there are some parts of everyone that just aren’t up for grabs, for other people to weigh in on or take charge of, you know? And a lot of people just don’t get that…because nobody’s ever tried it with them, or had to deal with expectations that…overstep, let’s call it?”

“Is that why you left?”

Jason winced the second it left his mouth. Too far. Definitely way too far, but he’d just gotten unexpectedly comfortable with the back and forth, and now he’d done the overstepping thing himself and was left with just dead air.

But ten seconds of heavy silence stretched into twenty, and went no further, as Nightwing sighed into his side of the phone again.

“The spiteful part of me wants to say it was more of a push than me just up and leaving,” he laughed again, but this time with unmistakable bitterness. “But even while that’s true, its not really the right answer to your question, because no matter how much of a clusterfuck that was at the time, its not…I mean, I knew at the time how to fix it. Where and how I needed to cave in order to make up with him and let things get back not quite to normal, but at least close enough.”

The pause wasn’t as heavy or tense this time, as Jason could almost sense the older man gathering his thoughts, trying to put them into words. He bit his lip rather than risk any more unexpected utterances escaping. This might not have been where he’d thought his phone call would lead, but now that he was here, hearing the answers to questions he’d wanted to ask for over a year and finding them almost comfortably familiar, he wasn’t going to risk distracting Nightwing or shutting him up for well. Anything.

“But it would have meant me caving. Settling in ways that I just…couldn’t. So in a way, yeah, I did leave, it was still my choice. And all of that was definitely a big part of it. I love Bruce, I do. I just couldn’t live with him anymore. Not without feeling like I had to give up my own autonomy and just be what he wanted. Or what he’d expected me to grow up to be, back when he first took me in. And as grateful as I am to him for that, I can’t honestly say I would have stuck around back then if I knew that was the price tag attached. I’m not…I don’t do well with people trying to force me to stick to one place, one thing. I was born on the road, you know? When I was a kid, I expected to spend the rest of my life living like that. Home was people. Not places. And so Gotham…its never fit me quite right, the way it does him, or even Barbara. Its not like I was miserable there, its just.”

“It wouldn’t have been your first choice,” Jason finished again, quietly. There was silence again for awhile.

“No. No, it wouldn’t have been. Not then.”

[nhl-stories]

Capricious – Brandon Tanev

Requested: Yes ∆ No

Author's Note: Back from a long hiatus with a long story about an underrated himbo.

Word Count: 13.7k

“So is this like a thing?” Anya asks from across the cafe table.

“What?”

“Like are we gonna keep seeing each other…?”

Brandon stares blankly, not sure where this is coming from.

“Like I don’t need labels or anything, I just have some pertinent information if we’re going to continue this.”

“Do I have to sign a contract too?” His laugh turns hollow as she raises her eyebrows waiting for an answer.

“I mean yeah, I like to keep seeing you…” now it’s his turn to hesitantly wait.

“So I’m pregnant,” Anya can see the wheels in his head go into hyperdrive, trying to figure out how he got her pregnant even though they haven’t had sex yet.

“Obviously it’s not yours,” now he’s back to his blank stare, “It’s my brother’s.”

The look turns into disgust and she backtracks, “Er– technically it’s my brother-in-laws,” Anya can feel the word vomit coming up and tries to swallow it, “because you know two dicks don’t make a baby and I have a viable uterus so here we are.”

Before there’s even a full second of silence she fills it.

“Basically I’m giving you a chance to get out. I understand dating a pregnant girl, especially if it’s not your child, isn’t ideal.”

He blinks in response, like his brain just received an error message and he’s trying to reboot.

“If you have something to say that would be great. Otherwise I will just keep babbling.”

“So you had sex with your brother-in-law?” He says slowly, his brain still trying to catch up to the information, he’s certain he sounds like an idiot.

“We did it in a doctors’ office–“ her eyes widen, “the medical procedure. It was all sex free.”

Her tendency to babble continues to dominate the conversation.

“That’s honestly why we haven’t had sex either, I was on these fertility drugs and I think if you would have jizzed in the room next to me it would have knocked me up and it would have been pretty embarrassing to tell my brothers I got pregnant with the wrong baby.”

He bursts into laughter, his smile lighting up the room and her anxiety falls to the wayside.

“You don’t have to have an answer now even, you can think it over. It’s a lot to take in I know,” she pauses for a moment before jumping right back in, “And like it’s still early so I could have a miscarriage, but then I’d probably just try to get pregnant again, so you can just–“

Suddenly his lips are on hers and she’s finally shutting up.

“And I thought I talked a lot,” he says as he pulls away.

Anya blushes hard.

“So were you pregnant when we met?”

“Technically yes, I think, maybe not. Either way I wasn’t even looking to date anyone until after the whole pregnancy was over. Then we just happened to meet.”

“So you sending me breakfast at that diner really wasn’t you flirting?” He gives a crooked smile.

“I thought you were homeless and hungry!”

They both laugh lightly and let the silence set in. Until it starts to eat at her.

“And seriously, you can take your time to think about this. No matter when you do it I’ll be hormonal and crazy; so now or later it’s all the same. No hard feelings.”

Brandon rolls his eyes.

“Okay, I’ll shut up now.” She pretends to zip her mouth shut, then immediately unzips it, “First game of the season coming up, how are you feeling?”

•••••

Brandon had been feeling pretty good about his upcoming season, but the news of Anya’s pregnancy had thrown him for a loop.

He liked her, but they had only known each other for about a month and the thought of signing up for someone else’s pregnancy felt overwhelming. He was torn between the potential of their relationship and the expectations that came with the new addition between them. He had already spent the last week flip flopping between saying yes to giving them a shot and running for the hills.

This began to put a damper on his normal golden retrieve puppy energy, and he finds himself at the edges of the group at a team gathering. He’s trying to focus on the conversations but keeps finding his attention wandering over to the group of kids playing in the backyard.

His mind clearly on other subjects.

“Hey Turbo, I thought you were gonna bring that girl you’ve been seeing,” Tanger calls out.

His attention snaps back to the group and everyone staring intently.

“Oh, I’m not sure I’m going to keep seeing her.”

“Why not? She sick of face?” Geno jovially yells, Brandon’s pretty sure he used the language barrier as an excuse to not have a filter.

“It’s not that,” he pauses, unsure if he should continue, but he hasn’t talked to anyone about it. Some other opinions might help.

“She’s pregnant.”

The moment he says it, he regrets it. Their mouths hang open, gaping tunnels of shock. Before he can backtrack or further explain he’s interrupted.

“You knocked her up and now you’re breaking up with her?” Kelsey Rust breaks the silence, though it seems she’s just saying what everyone else is thinking.

“Fuck no, of course not.”

Not everyone knows him super well, but he thought they knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t do that.

He finds himself rambling, a bit like Anya did when she told him the news. In the back of his mind he’s chuckling at that fact; just talking about this kind of thing seems to bring the babble out of everyone.

“It sounds like she likes you, a lot,” Kelsey once again is the first person to speak up, “enough to give you the chance to process this and come to your own conclusions.”

Brandon nods, but his mind is already wandering back to Anya, the face she made of happy surprise when he kissed her in the coffee shop.

“And based on the fact that you haven’t actually broken things off, I think you like her enough to work through this. Plus she’s seems really understanding about how weird the whole situation is…”

“And if anyone can handle weird, it’s you,” Letang cuts in causing the group to laugh away some of the tension.

•••••

Anya was surprised when her phone lit up with Brandon’s name.

It had been two weeks since she dropped the pregnancy bomb and at first she was certain he was ghosting her. It seemed somewhat out character, but she had only known for such a brief time, what did she really know?

He assuaged her initial fears with a short text of a ghost followed by Boo. But without another update Anya was spiraling.

She was dying to know his thoughts on the whole situation, but she knew she needed to be empathetic and give him the time and space. Still, she was running every possible scenario in her head and driving herself crazy.

Patience and silence were two of her least favorite things.

“Hey what’s up?” She tries to sound casual; as if she isn’t freaking out.

“Are you doing anything tonight?”

Despite her overthinking, she did not factor in a situation where he just nonchalantly asked her on a date.

She did have plans, but Anya is picturing Brandon as some timid forest creature and any sudden movement might scare him off.

“I do, are you free this weekend though?”

“Uh- no we’re going on a road trip. I was hoping to see you before I was out of town for a while,” His deep voice sent a shiver down her spine.

“You could join me tonight, but I don’t know if it’s really your thing… and you’d have to meet my brothers if you came.”

He’s silent for a second, “Yeah sure, want me to pick you up?”

As soon as she hangs up Anya quickly tries to dress a bit nicer or rather she puts on a real bra and throws on a dress that at least implies she has a figure.

When Brandon arrives she jumps in his car and gives him a kiss on the cheek, the moment he puts the car into drive she blurts out, “wait, nope this is a terrible idea. Let’s just go out to dinner or something, I can tell my brothers something came up.”

“If I let you flake, it’s only going to make me look bad when I eventually meet your brothers.”

Anya looks down at her lap, hiding her too-giddy smile that he’s already referring to the future. The last two weeks of silence instantly erased.

“Fine. Make a right at the light. And just so you know we’re going to drag bingo, then make another right here. And my brothers are drag queens in the show. Then you’ll make a left.”

“You always give too much information at once,” he gives a throaty laugh, “And I think I missed the turn.”

Anya redirects him before he responds to the information dump, “So what exactly is drag bingo?”

“Mostly it’s gay men dressed up as women calling bingo and making jokes, there’s prizes and good food and drinks.”

“And your brothers are in it?”

“Yeah, they met in dental school but bonded over their love of being drag performers.”

“Oh, so you’re like really normal for your family?” he smirks, “Or are you the weird one because you’re not a drag performer or a dentist?”

“You can be the judge of that,” she readjusts in the car finally feeling a bit more comfortable.

They park nearby and Anya drags Brandon to the back door and knocks, a petite drag queen answers.

“Baby mama Anya,” she yells and hugs the woman before noticing the man standing next to her, “And with a…” her eyes light up with recognition, “Penguin!”

“You’re a sports fan?” Anya laughs.

“I contain multitudes Anya,” she rolls her eyes.

“So this is Brandon and Brandon this is Aurora Whorealis,” there seems to be a moment of hesitance before becoming his regular friendly self.

“So are they decent back there or should we come back once their dicks are taped up?” Anya smirks.

“I can’t promise you won’t see something that scars you back here, but I think your brothers are tucked and ready to go.”

Anya grabs Brandon’s hand and they weave their way through the back of the club, a mess of wigs and bright costumes. Finally they find the pair, one fully made up and the other dressed but fixing a wig.

“My fave girl has arrived,” the fully dressed one picks up Anya and spins her around.

Anya playfully pushes her off, “Jesus, you could open a bakery with all that make up caked on your face.”

“Oh honey, the shade you–“ she shrieks upon seeing Brandon, cupping the shocked and bewildered man’s face.

“Babe, he’s here and he’s real and he’s beautiful.” He drops his hand, “You are Brandon, right?”

Before Brandon can answer the other brother speaks, “So you’re the guy who’s fucking my sister while she’s carrying our baby?”

“I– er– we haven’t–” he looks towards Anya for help.

She punches her brother’s arm, “Do you not know the definition of ‘be cool?’”

“Look at that make up, he obviously doesn’t,” his husband adds cattily.

“I was talking about you too, Trav.” The man put a hand on his chest in defense, “You’re a blabbermouth about the baby, you know you shouldn’t be telling anyone yet.”

“It was just Whorealis, I swear no one else.”

Brandon is still standing there awkward and confused. It’s a bit of sensory overload. Not only was he meeting his almost significant other’s family, but to meet them in full drag, was wholly overwhelming.

The one brother finally puts on the wig and stands up, in heels he’s towering over the 6 foot tall hockey player and even under his make up he wears a protective sibling face Brandon is familiar with.

Then he broke out into the brightest smile, “Sorry for the craziness, if you have any younger siblings you know we always have to mess with our little sis.”

Brandon smiles and chuckles at Anya pouting like the classic little sister.

“I’m Parker, Yaya’s real brother, and this is Travis my husband.” They all shake hands.

“Nice to meet you both, I’ve never been to something like this,” he nervously chuckles.

“You’re in for a treat then cutie,” Travis winks.

“And next time we’ll have you come to a show with Yaya in it, she’s a very talented tap dancer and drag king.” Parker has a wolfish grin as he eyes his sister.

“Yeah she’s makes a very handsome man,” Travis ruffles her hair.

“Okay before you embarrass me more we’ll go up front,” she pushes Brandon towards a door, “And if you even think of making jokes about him or towards him I swear I’ll abort this baby.”

“As long as you follow the two drink minimum, there won’t be a problem,” Travis calls back.

Once they find a seat, Anya lets out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m so sorry, that was a lot. I knew it would be a lot, but I really wish I could have a drink right about now, and if you want we can leave–“

Brandon wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her into his side, “I mean it was a lot, but they seem like a lot of fun, Yaya.” He emphasizes the newfound nickname.

“They are, when they’re not being obnoxious and telling you embarrassing family nicknames.”

“I have brothers, not ones who dress up as women, but I understand brothers.”

A waiter comes up and interrupts their conversation.

“We’ll have two Queen Priscilla’s pussies, a ginger ale, and a basket of fries.” Anya says without missing a beat.

“Oh going light today? I guess Vice Principal Anya is on duty.”

“You know it’s a school night and I have to wake up extra early,” she rolls her her in exasperation.

Once the waiter is out of earshot, “I’m actually really glad you came, because if I didn’t order any drinks here, everyone would know something was up. And I know I can tell whoever I want, it feels like testing fate.”

“Oh I’m expected to drink both of those?” His eyes widen as the two bright pink drinks are walked towards them.

She winks in response.

“Fine, why don’t you tell me more about this tap dancing. drag king persona”

She lets out an embarrassed laugh before the lights begin to dim; saved by the bell.

“Shhhh, the show is starting, no more talking.”

•••••

Somehow a night out with her brothers in drag hadn’t scared him away and things started to shift back to the way they were in the before times (how Anya referred to the period where neither knew she was pregnant).

In fact, things were progressing further than before, which is why she found herself pinned against the wall of her apartment, Brandon nipping at her neck, and his thigh slotted between her thighs.

“This is great but,” she’s already out of breath, “bed.”

Brandon chuckles but can’t blame her. They were both desperate to explore each other’s bodies. The wait had been more than long enough and foreplay wasn’t really needed.

She shoves him towards her bed, which is a mere yard away in her less than impressive studio apartment; the layout was proving to be very convenient in this moment.

Anya climbed on top and didn’t even bother with taking off clothes; lifting up her skirt and slipping her underwear off.

Brandon was quick to follow suit pulling his pants down halfway, already painfully hard. They could take their time later, now was primal.

“I have a condom,” he said leaning up to kiss her and trying to fish out his wallet.

Anya shoved him flat on his back, “you can’t get me doubly pregnant.”

The sex was fast and raw and perhaps over embarrassingly quick.

“Oh my god,” Anya said hopping off Brandon’s softening member so fast he couldn’t even process what was going on until he heard Anya vomiting.

“Was I really that bad?” the humor evident, even through the concern.

She responds with more retching, Brandon stood up, walking into the bathroom to pull back her hair.

“Sorry, morning sickness, which is evening sickness in my case.” She says before puking again.

Brandon rubs her back soothingly.

“Make yourself at home, it should pass soon,” she rests her forehead on the cool porcelain.

He wanders around her apartment taking in the pictures: one of her in drag with her brothers, a graduation photo with her family, her on stage in some sort of musical or dance recital.

He made his way into the kitchen, peering into her mostly empty fridge for something to drink, opting for a can of beer. Might as well clear her apartment of temptation he laughs to himself. He examines the array of menus, save the dates, and other pictures on the fridge door. Trying to busy himself without being too nosey.

Anya comes into the kitchen, swishing mouthwash and spitting it in the sink.

“I thought I’d find you snooping through my underwear drawer or something?”

“Is that what you’ve done when I’ve been out of the room in my apartment?”

“No, but boys don’t tend to have sexy underwear or sex toys to find.”

“Would I have found sex toys?” his smirk shoots right to Anya’s core and she’s revved up again.

“Maybe,” she shrugs and fills a kettle up with water, keeping herself busy before she jumps him right there in the kitchen.

“If you stay the night, I can almost guarantee I won’t throw up after morning sex.”

Brandon lets out throaty chuckle.

“Why do you have a school picture of yourself on the fridge,” he points to the fridge.

Anya gives a confused look, half expecting a stray faculty photo before realizing what picture he’s referring to.

“Oh, that’s my daughter,” all the flirtatious repartee withers away.

Anya notices the pure shock on Brandon’s face and her face soon mirrors his.

“Oh fuck, I’ve never mentioned that before,” all Brandon can do is shake his head in response,

“Biologically she’s my kid. I got pregnant in high school, the dad was a dick and wasn’t involved yada yada, I had a weird moment of sadism thinking I made my bed so I should suffer and also like well people can’t have kids and… Anyway I gave her up for adoption but like it’s open so they send me a school picture and a letter every year.”

She’s full on panic rambling now, “I’ve never really thought she looked like me, but I guess she does. Also I thought you kind of knew, which was a stupid assumption, but a main requirement of surrogacy is that you’ve given birth before so you and the doctors sort of know what to expect and–”

The kettle begins to whistle and allows her to take a breath.

“I normally bring it up after I have sex with a dude cause it’s a great way to dispel any misconceptions about women’s body or to get rid of a dude right away if he sucks.”

She’s avoiding eye contact as she fixes herself a cup of tea, “and you go ‘see my vagina is so tight, you’d have no idea I’ve had a baby.’ But we just had sex like two minutes ago and I threw up immediately after and that’s not what happens normally.”

Brandon tries to hold back a snicker, wondering when she’ll stop and let him have any sort of response.

She finally looks at him, “I hope this is the last time I have a big news bomb to drop on you.”

“Me too, it must be exhausting for you to talk so much.”

At the sound of his husky chuckle the tightness in her chest finally loosens.

“What’s her name?”

“Sloane, she’s almost 11 now, which is crazy to think about. I’ve never met her before. Personally, I don’t ever want to meet her, she’s never felt like mine. But I don’t want to close that door for her, that doesn’t seem fair.”

“You’re the most selfless person I know.”

He sets down the beer and takes a step closer.

“That’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about my teen pregnancy.”

She takes a sip of her tea, “I think you know all my secrets now and that somehow hasn’t scared you away.”

“Ooh you don’t know that yet, I’m only staying around for that the nausea-free morning sex I was offered.”

He now has her pinned against her counter, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“Enough talking, more kissing.”

•••••

It takes a lot of convincing, but Brandon finally gets Anya to come to a game. She wants to support him, but simultaneously she’s worried about getting too intertwined with his life.

She’s certain the rug would be pulled out from under her and she’s bracing for the fall. All signs point to Brandon sticking around, through just about anything, the more the baby grows the more nervous she becomes.

But for now she kept the wolves, or Penguins, at bay: opting for a seat randomly in the arena.

She doesn’t know much about hockey, but she’s entranced by how fluid the large men move across the ice. The mix of skill and violence has her on the edge of her seat. But the parasite living inside her calls her to the concession stand for soft pretzels and nachos.

About halfway through the second period all those concessions are being flushed down the toilet as she empties her stomach, and then some.

She’s just grateful the action on ice is interesting enough that she could throw up in peace, that is until there’s a knock on the stall.

“Are you okay in there?”

“Yeah, just a pregnant woman doing pregnant woman things.”

“Do you want me to get you something?” Anya can hear the woman rummaging through her purse, “Do you need some mints or gum? I might have some Tums in my bag.”

Anya flushes the toilet and opens the stall to see a concerned looking blonde, “Could you get me a refund for the $50 of concession food I just threw up?”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” The woman looks up with a quizzical look before a wave of recognition passes over her, “Oh my gosh you’re Anya!”

Anya stops washing her hands and makes eye contact with the woman through the mirror.

“Are you one of my student’s parents?” She asks though it didn’t make sense for a student’s parent to call her by her first name.

“No, I’m Kayla, Brian Dumolin’s wife. You’re dating Brandon.”

“Um-“

“That sounds so creepy, but it kinds of is, all the girls have been internet stalking you since Brandon won’t bring you around.”

They both are a little flustered, “It’s not entirely Brandon’s fault. It just seems a little overwhelming.”

“Come sit with us now then. We can take you down to Brandon at the end of the game.”

Anya stutters.

“It will be far less intimidating now that you haven’t had time to overthink it. Besides doesn’t this seem like it was meant to happen?”

Anya relents, it does seem a bit like fate.

“Guys look who I found… Anya!” Kayla does her best Vanna White impression for the introduction.

Anya shyly waves as everyone introduces themselves, excited to finally meet her. It’s still overwhelming, but everyone is so nice she can’t be too upset about the turn of events. Especially since they can all explain the ins and outs of the game.

“So how far along are you?” Carly Zucker asked.

“Tail end of 12 weeks, which thank fuck cause I don’t know if I can handle this morning sickness any longer.”

“I feel that, I was living on strongest anti-nausea medicine I could get during my last pregnancy.”

“My last pregnancy was like so easy, but I think when you’re sixteen you just can power through anything. Sometimes I think medieval people had the right idea getting married and birthing kids young–“

Anya inhales sharply, “Brandon like immediately told everyone I already had a kid when he found out, right? Like I’m not outing myself, am I?”

Carly holds back a snort, “He didn’t, I just assumed since you’re a surrogate. I was going to bring it up when he was first freaking out about it, but I think his brain would’ve exploded if he had to process that on top of everything else.”

“I think it almost did, even with a month to take it all in,” she laughs.

After the game Anya follows the group down into the depths of the arena. She previously planned to meet up with Brandon at his place, probably after she picked up a late night snack, but now the nerves returned at the prospect of even more meetings.

Brian was one of the first guys out of the locker room and was quickly accosted by his wife, “Go in there and tell Brandon we found his girl and kidnapped her.”

Brian doesn’t even get an introduction before he’s shoved back into the locker room.

It didn’t take long for Brandon to come out and beeline to Anya. He’s freshly showered and back in his suit and Anya doesn’t know if it’s the adrenaline from the night or her hormones, but all of a sudden she feels hot.

He leans in for a kiss and Anya greedily deepens it, forgetting where she is for a second, until they were rudely interrupted by cat calls and wolf whistles.

“Are you okay? I know you weren’t planning on meeting everyone tonight,” Brandon says under his breath.

She nods, “Yeah, Kayla found me puking in the bathroom so it only could go up from there,” she sees a glint of concern in his eyes, “seriously everyone has been super nice. I’m fine.”

A smile creeps across his face, happy to finally share Anya with the rest of his world.

“So what did you think of the game?”

“Fun. I didn’t get most of it, but I liked it. Especially in the beginning when you were all bouncy and did that whole mouth routine,” she giggles and kisses him again.

“Hey Turbo, do you and your girl want to go out with us?” Someone calls out in the melee.

Brandon turns to Anya, “You up for that?”

“Only if there’s food, I can’t drink so really need to take advantage of this whole eating for two thing.”

The bar is as crowded as Anya’s brain is as she’s introduced to a slew of teammates and significant others. Her inner teacher knows she’ll be studying the roster later to keep track of all the names and faces, but for now she just smiles and nods like she’s getting it all.

She’s extra grateful for Brandon’s boundless energy for keeping the conversations moving, preventing Anya from being in an awkward moment of silence.

But she’s extra grateful that the bar’s kitchen is still open. The amount of food she orders quickly makes her popular.

“You should be careful with those, I was almost killed by one once.”

Anya is currently pulling an extra gooey piece of a mozzarella stick away from her mouth when she looks up to see Sidney Crosby.

She had lived in Pittsburgh for a better part of a decade and even if she wasn’t a hockey fan she knew who he was; you’d have to be in coma to live here and not know the Steel city’s poster boy.

“Thanks for the heads up. I am inhaling these at an alarming rate,” she tries to cover a bit of her mouth as she chews, not wanting to look like a total barbarian.

“And it would be one of the most embarrassing deaths imaginable. Just picture the obituary.”

“Cleary it would say she died doing what she loved: eating,” Anya is shocked at the boisterous laugh the man makes in response.

At the sound of the laughter Brandon joins the pair, happy to see Anya getting along with one of his teammates without his aid.

“What’s so funny?” he wraps his arms Anya’s shoulders and rests his chin on top of her head, clearly a bit tipsy.

“Just keeping Sid,” she felt weird saying his name so casually, “away from my mozzarella sticks, I don’t want to get run out of town because of my pregnancy cravings kill him.”

Crosby’s laugh gets louder and Brandon kisses the top of her head. Anya feels at ease, everything was out in the open and no one seemed to be looking at her differently, it all felt so natural. Maybe she could keep the rug under her feet.

•••••

Brandon just finished lunch with Sid and Tanger. The trio decides to walk around the trendy street, soaking up as much sun as they can on the unseasonably warm December day.

“Isn’t that Anya?” Sid points up the street.

Brandon looks up from his phone to see his girlfriend, or something, neither had been quite brave enough to put labels on it.

“I thought she was a teacher or principal or whatever. Shouldn’t she be in school?” Tanger adds, the worry in his voice sets Brandon on edge.

He merely holds his response as he sees a man come out of the building, wrapping his arm around Anya and handing her a drink.

She looks great, glowing, and Brandon is certain it has nothing to do with her pregnancy. It makes this moment nauseating for him.

She laughs with the man and the sound drifts into his ears, causing him to physically cringe. They never agreed they were exclusive, but she had said she wasn’t even looking to date while she gestates. Yet here she is in broad daylight laughing and wrapped up with another man.

He already knew he had fallen hard for her, he probably would have ran off at the first sign of conflict if he hadn’t. He just didn’t realize how hard it had been until he felt his heart crumble in his chest watching her with someone else.

Sid catches his demeanor, “We can just walk away, if something is wrong.”

Brandon doesn’t really know what to say he wants to confront her, let her know he feels betrayed. He also wants to run and save his pride. Before he can make a decision Anya and the man are in front of them.

“Hey Bran,” she grins like nothing is off.

She pulls him into a hug, he tries to act natural but he knows he’s stiff.

When she pulls away, she’s suspicious. Looking between the trio for clues, realization crosses her face.

She holds back a laugh, “you don’t recognize him do you?”

“It’s me Travis,” the mystery man cuts in, clearly amused before turning to Anya, “I told you I was a fishy queen Yaya.”

Anya wants to roll her eyes but is too busy biting back her laughter.

“It’s okay, I look very different out of my wig and make up.”

“And don’t forget breasts,” Anya lets out a howling laugh.

Brandon feels warm with embarrassment.

“And clearly you seem straight from a distance,” Anya elbows her brother-in-law.

“That has never happened before, I get why straight men feel so powerful all the time now.”

There’s still a tension within the group, two of three still entirely out of the loop.

“Travis, this is Sid and Kris. Two of Bran’s teammates. You’ve seen them on billboards.”

“Nice to meet you, if you ever need a dentist I’m available. But for hockey players you have wonderful teeth.”

Anya elbows him again, harder.

“What? Hockey players are like a dentist’s dream. Can you blame me for shooting my shot in hopes of getting my fingers enthuse hotties’ mouths.”

“You just have gift foreign embarrassing, you’ll be a great dad,” Anya palms her face, needing to look away from the uncomfortable and confused superstar in front of her.

“He was a drag queen last time I met him, thus the alarm,” Brandon feels the need to explain himself.

“I love that you thought I could get two guys while pregnant though, it’s a real boost to the confidence.” Anya says with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“What are you doing playing hooky though?”

“Doctor’s appointment, and being forced to consume nutrients in a vile way,” she shakes the green smoothie.

She digs around her purse and pulls out a picture, “look at the alien this fool put inside of me.”

Brandon agrees it looks more like an alien than a human and laughs.

“I think the big head comes from your side of the genetic code,” Travis chides.

The group all laughs, the other two players enjoying seeing this side of Anya, clearly a good match for their energizer bunny of a teammate.

“I do have to get back to school, so got to run, but see you later yeah?”

“Of course,” his smile is undeniable now as he leans in for a quick peck.

The men continue their walk, teasing the clearly lovesick Turbo. Not that they are any less in love with their partners.

“So a pregnant girlfriend with a drag queen brother? You really do attract odd people,” Kris laughed.

“Drag queen brothers, plural. And if you think a Shea Weber slap shot is scary, try meeting a girl’s brothers dressed up as the tallest women you’ve ever seen. It’s the most intimidating thing I’ve ever done.”

“So we should expect to see Anya sticking around?” Sid asks, always concerned with his teammates’ well-being on and off the ice.

“Yeah, I guess, I’m not sure. We don’t really talk about being something...” he’s a bit lost for the right words.

“Just based on how you to smile at each other, you’re something whether or not it’s been said out loud.”

•••••

The moment Brandon opens the door Anya is on him. Her hands tangling in his hair, her lips and teeth hungry against him as she kicks the door shut behind them.

Brandon pulls her closer but only gets so far, her newly protruding belly separating more than usual.

They both laugh in response, the heat dissipating.

“Sorry, winter break excitement. I have two weeks free from hormonal teenagers.”

“Don’t apologize, we’ll get back to that later. The food will burn though,” He kisses her once more before moving to the kitchen.

“Glad that decision is made for me cause all I want lately is food and sex,” she sits at the island.

“And you will get both of those tonight,” he grins as turns on his standing mixer.

“So what’s on the menu?”

“Cauliflower crust pizza with spinach and Italian sausage.”

“Cauliflower crust?” she scrunches her nose, “Have you been talking to Parker? He keeps being all nosey about me eating healthy and shit.”

“I agree about the eating healthy thing but it’s mostly for to keep this hot physique I have.” He gestures to his body, which is sadly obscured by a sweatshirt.

He pulls out the pizza and sets it on the counter. Anya never thought a man in oven mitts could look hot, now she was crossing her legs in response.

“But to balance it out I’m baking peanut butter chocolate chip cookies with a dark chocolate drizzle.”

She bites her lip and lets out an involuntary moan, the kind heard in a porno.

“The lines between horny and hungry are really starting to blur in a disturbing way. Do you need any help before I cross a line I can never come back from?”

“No just relax.”

“Oh wait, I have presents.”

“We said no Christmas gifts.”

“It’s not a Christmas gift, it’s an early birthday present.”

Anya rummages through her bag and pulls out a small bag.

She slides it over to him and he rinses off his hands before pulling out the tissue paper.

“It’s nothing big.”

He pulls out an envelope and pulls out a picture.

“That’s my faculty picture I though it would be funny.”

“You look so serious,” he smiles and puts it on his fridge.

“I have to! I’m a vice principal.”

He digs through the bag and pulls out a framed photo of the two of them; he’s standing behind her arms wrapped around her as he’s animatedly talking about something and she’s looking up at him smiling.”

“When was this taken?”

“Like a month ago, Kelsey sent it to me, we’re like grossly cute.”

“We kind of are, thanks.”

“I know it’s not much…” she shrugs

“It’s nice, I don’t have a lot of pictures here.”

“Yeah now it’s me and the pug.”

“That’s my nephew you’re talking about…” he laughs and gives her a kiss, her stomach growls in response.

“Don’t worry, dinner is ready.”

Once dinner is done, or rather inhaled in Anya’s case, the pair make their way to Brandon’s plush couch. They’re attached at the mouth, but Anya is quick to separate and get Brandon out of his sweatshirt. Her hands trace along the hard lines on his soft skin.

Brandon gently coaxes her onto her back moving down her neck then a timer in the kitchen goes off.

Anya lets out a frustrated groan, “just when we were getting to the good stuff.”

“I promise there’s more good stuff on the way,” he calls from the kitchen.

Anya takes this chance to pull off her leggings. She’s grateful she still fits in some of her her sexier underwear, although she’s sure that it won’t stay on her much longer.

She thinks for second about taking off her sweater, but decides against it when Brandon comes back in looking extra fit and tasty.

“Excited?” He nods down to her naked legs.

“Expediting the process.”

“Before we get back into it, taste this,” he holds out half cookie for her.

She takes a tentative bite, “Holy shit! You’re good in bed and at baking? You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

She puts the rest of the cookie her mouth then notices Brandon face, she wonders for a second if his apartment is haunted.

“What?”

“Boyfriend?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I just– oh fuck you’re seeing other people, I’m an idiot forget I said anything.”

Brandon chuckles and places a hand on her thigh, gently rubbing his thumb over her skin; a trail of goosebumps follow.

“I’m not seeing anyone else, just you,” he smiles so wide it almost hurts, he didn’t realize how much he wanted to hear her say that word.

They don’t continue the conversation, it’s clear where it’s heading. Instead they let their bodies’ do the talking.

Brandon snakes his hand up her shirt cupping her breast, he smiles against her lips.

“Are your boobs bigger?” He gives them another squeeze.

“Yes, thank you for noticing, I had to get some new bras. It’s the one really good thing about being pregnant.”

She can feel hormonal tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, and she pulls Brandon’s lips back to hers before he notices. She’s happy. So happy she could burst and she refuses to let this baby and her wild emotions stall anything.

Everything gets more heated and handsy and Brandon’s arousal is clear through his shorts. Anya feels like she’s overheating, wearing too many clothes, the centimeters of clothing too much of difference from his body.

She whips off her sweater as Brandon does away with her underwear. She shivers when he kisses on her pubic bone. His fingers ghost over her stomach on the way up to her breasts and she freezes.

“Oh.”

Brandon looks up confused at the iciness that fills the room.

“Is the belly weird? Or are you like kind of a perv who’s into having sex with a pregnant woman who’s pregnant with someone else’s baby?”

Brandon sets his head down on her pelivs and lets out a sigh, the hot air of his breath on her core lights the fire in her again.

“It’s a little weird, but I’m not bothered, plus you’re barely showing,” he kisses his way further down, nipping at her thigh, “but whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Okay, well I can still do it on my back now so let’s take advantage of that,” Brandon’s gives her a deliberate lick and her hands quickly tug at his hair.

She’s a bit distracted now, “ah- so we can do it here and then take a cookie break, then screw in the kitchen, then have another cookie break, then move it- oh- to the bedroom then we-ah-.”

Brandon stops abruptly, “have another cookie break?”

“Ew no, I don’t want crumbs in the bed. I was gonna say fuck until I assumably run out of energy. Wake up, cookies for breakfast, shower sex you send me home with any leftover cookies.”

“You’re up for all that?” he’s not quite sure if the plan is a turn on or completely laughable.

“Put me out of commission baby, I got two weeks to recover.”

•••••

Right after the short Christmas break in the game schedule the Pens went directly on a long road trip.

Now that they actually established their status, Brandon couldn’t help but miss Anya even more than normal. He was practically glued to his phone during any free time, hoping for even a crumb of contact with her.

Her brothers had thought it would be funny to get her a fully stocked bar as a Christmas gift. She had sent him a video of it backfiring because she started uncontrollably crying, which she claimed she thought it was happy but couldn’t really tell.

Then she was back at school, updating him on the hijinks. Apparently the faculty had been taking bets about which student would be bold enough to ask if she was pregnant first.

As she said, “No one wants to be the kid who asks their Vice Principal if she’s pregnant and it turns out she’s just getting fat.”

Apparently one of the boys finally asked point blank if she was pregnant after she was startled by the baby’s first kick.

She lost the bet.

Brandon feels like he’s missing out. It’s not even his kid. Hell, it isn’t even hers, but he wants to be involved in every part of her life.

His phone buzzes while he’s playing at the card table and he’s so fast to pick it up, the guys can’t help but chirp him.

At first he’s confused when it’s just a text with three of the water drop emojis.

It quickly becomes clear when a link “The 8 Best Sex Positions while Pregnant” follows.

He can’t wipe away his smile, he’s so distracted he isn’t prepared for his phone to be snapped out of his hands by ZAR.

“Turbo’s got a hot date tonight,” he reads the text out loud and the plane is filled with hollers and cheers.

“C’mon she’s my girlfriend now, don’t talk like that,” he’s blushing, more embarrassed about getting caught than the playful ribbing.

A chorus of oohs comes from the boys and he rolls his eyes.

“Getting serious eh?” Letang shouts from his seat.

“She’s pregnant already, of course it’s serious,” ZAR laughs and drops the phone in Turbo’s lap.

“At least I’m getting laid,” he shoots back and the attention quickly turns toward his younger teammate.

He rolls up to Anya’s place a few hours later. It’s been a long day but he can’t wait to see his girlfriend.

She however doesn’t seem as excited, she opens the door looking exhausted, she’s in a crop top, her ever-growing stomach hanging out, and her hair is matted like she just woke up from a nap.

“I thought you got home tomorrow?”

“Clearly not, I thought you sent that text because you were excited to see me tonight.”

She pouts for a second, “I sent it because I thought you’d be coming tomorrow and maybe you’d send me something sexy like a well-composed dick pic and it would get me excited for tomorrow.”

“I can show you my dick if that will help.”

She ponders it for a second, “No, thank you though. I just feel like garbage. My feet hurt, my back hurts, I’ve had heartburn all day, I’m exhausted.”

“I can leave if you want,” he doesn’t want to leave, he wants to scoop her into his arms and hold her tight.

“No, you can stay,” she drops her voice, barley above a whisper, “a hug sounds really nice.”

He gives her a small, sad smile before pulling her into his warm embrace. Her tension evaporates in his arms. He rubs her back and kisses the top of her head.

“Let’s get you off your feet,” he whispers, his voice vibrating against her.

Anya shifts around trying to get comfortable on her side, which is clearly getting more difficult.

“Want me to get you some tea or something.”

She shakes her head and holds out an arm, beckoning him over. He moves behind her, wrapping an arm around her disappearing waist. His arm around her stomach feels alien and natural all at once.

Anya snuggles back into him and intertwines their fingers. The lay in silence, wrapped up in the warmth of each other. Brandon can feel his eyelids getting heavy and sleep coming over him.

Then he feels it; more than a flutter not quite a kick.

He gasps.

“Crazy isn’t it?” Anya says in a sleepy voice, moving their hands to follow the movement.

It happens again.

“That’s– there’s like a real human in there,” he’s fascinated that such a small movement changes how real it feels.

“Yeah, it’s surreal.”

He doesn’t know how to respond because it’s just that, surreal.

It’s been real; the morning sickness, the swelling of her body, the hormones, but it never felt so solid. The whole thing had been ta dashed line between point A and point B, both set and temporary but would eventually fade away into the next phase.

Now he realized that wasn’t true. This wasn’t just some pit stop, the aftermath would be more than just scars or stretch marks. There would be a human being as living proof.

The nausea had mostly disappeared in the second trimester, but Anya still had her moments, and in the wee hours after dawn she has her first real bout of morning sickness, at least real in the morning sickness.

She pads back into the bedroom to notice Brandon gone, she doesn’t find a note or a text or a voicemail. The apartment feels cold.

One day.

Two days.

Four days.

A week.

•••••

Parker tries to stifle a laugh as he watches his sister try and get up from the couch.

He’s not aware she’s as miserable as she looks.

“It’s like watching the world’s saddest bug try to get off its back,” he snickers to his husband.

“You can’t make fun of me when I’m doing the biggest favor in history for you,” she calls from the living room.

She finally manages to hoist herself off the plush couch and move to the kitchen, helping herself to another helping of Thai food.

“Hon you didn’t need to get up, I could have gotten that for you,” Travis chimes in.

“I’m not a convalescent, my center of gravity just shifted. What you should do, is tell you husband to stop making fun of me.”

She takes back her spot on the couch and tries to balance her plate on her stomach, she’s not quite a full table but getting close.

She opens up the baby name book she had been reading before.

“I assume you didn’t just invite me over for a nice dinner to casually look at baby names,” she says once her brothers sit on either side of her on the couch.

“Why do you assume we have ulterior motives?” Parker glares defensively.

“Because last time we did this, you wined and dined me and then brought out a turkey baster.”

They both nod curtly, the jig is up.

“We wanted to discuss a…” Travis pauses, obviously looking for a diplomatic way to breach this topic, he looks towards his husband to help him out.

Parker rolls his eyes before taking over, “Yaya, you’ve been great with this whole thing and letting us really be involved and experience the whole thing, from the birthing classes to–“

“Just spit it out!” she yells through a mouthful of Pad Thai.

“We want you to move in for the first three months after the baby is born,” Travis jumps back in.

“Um, excuse me?” Anya is incredulous.

“Based on all our reading we just think, and I know this sounds weird coming from your gay as fuck brother, breast is best. And the best way to get a solid time of breast feeding is for you to be here for night feedings.”

“And since it will summer you won’t be working so no worries about commutes or anything,” Travis adds.

Anya opens her mouth but only a sound of quiet rage comes out.

“It’s not like you’re staying at your apartment, so it won’t be that different.” Parker quips and Travis

She hadn’t told them about Brandon. That she hadn’t seen or heard from her boyfriend for over a week. Or that she’s unsure if she even had a boyfriend anymore.

What she does know is she’s furious.

She takes a deep breath, the anger ready to pour out.

“You’re basically telling me I have to house this fetus and all the side effects that come with that, then squeeze a baby out of my vagina, potentially tearing it to my asshole, then after all that hard work I have to lose sleep and take charge of feedings at all hours because you two wanted a kid.”

They’re about to defend themselves but she doesn’t let them speak.

“Every professional we’ve talked to has said boundaries and I’ve mostly been fine with being loosey goosey with those because I love you both, but I have sacrificed my body and my time and maybe my boyfriend to give you a baby and I refuse to sacrifice more.”

“You broke up with Brandon?” Parker pulls her out of her rant.

“I don’t know, I woke up one morning and he was gone and I haven’t heard from him since. And I know he’s still alive because I’ve seen him on TV.”

“You’ve been heartbroken this whole time on top of all your pregnancy crazies and then we have to go all first time parent crazy on you. Sorry it was out of line.” Parker squeezes her tight and Travis joins the hug.

“I am willing to become a dairy farm and pump until I can’t anymore, but unless you want a double murder, suicide and an orphan, there will be no night feedings from me.”

They all heavily sigh.

“So no more Brandon?”

Anya shrugs.

“So we shouldn’t invite him to the baby shower?” Travis tries to crack a joke but Anya can only half smile in response, “there goes the eye candy.”

“If I could storm out right now I would, but I can not get up fast and I am very hormonal and tired and I will be spending the night,” her smile becomes more genuine, “someone go slam a door for me!”

•••••

“It’s turn then kick, otherwise you’ll kick each other in the face.” Anya laughs at her students trying to get the choreography.

She tries to show them what she means, but her kick is a little lackluster, better than they expected, but still not great.

“Then after the kick, you’ll all move back together in that diamond shape behind Charlie, so let’s see that all together.”

But her students are a bit distracted, looking behind her and whispering to each other. She turns to see Brandon awkwardly standing at the back of the auditorium.

“Is that Ms. Reed’s boyfriend?”

“No way, he plays for the Penguins.”

“Of course it is, she’s pregnant she’s gotta have a boyfriend,” the students think they’re great at gossiping quietly but they’re always too loud.

“Ok you guys are 13 so you have to know that you don’t need to be dating someone to get pregnant. And none of you should be having sex it may seem like you’re old but you are all way too young and you’ll have plenty of time when you’re older, take it from me.”

The kids immediately start giggling the moment she mentions sex, she hopes her advice sinks in for at least one of them.

“Just break it up, it’s almost 5 so let’s end rehearsal here, and don’t you go spreading any rumors about this because remember who’s in charge of giving out detention.”

The kids pack up and scatter, some trying to take sneaky pictures of the Pittsburgh Penguin in their midst.

“I–“ Brandon starts.

“I didn’t drive today so take me home and we can talk, I don’t need any of my students to hear about my private life.” She snaps, bumping his shoulder as she exits the room.

The air in the car is stale. Brandon fumbles with his keys not sure where to start.

“So you’re choreographing the school musical?”

“You really want to start with that?” he’s taken back by her uncharacteristic brusque tone.

“I know, I’m sorry I fucked up… big time.”

Anya looks at her nails, unresponsive.

“And I– it’s just– I was–“

“You have a college degree you should be better with words.”

“I deserve that and a lot worse.”

“I freaked out about everything and I’m sorry I panicked and didn’t talk to you, that was my biggest mistake I should have just told you that that I all of a sudden felt overwhelmed by the pregnancy thing. That baby kicked and it became so real and even after this, there’s going to be a person.”

Anya snorts.

“What?”

“Sorry, it’s just so funny, ‘there’s gonna be a person,’” she adds in a mocking voice, “No kidding, that’s kind of the goal of seeing a pregnancy through.”

Brandon doesn’t respond, he’s embarrassed, but he’s starting to hear the humor in his babbling about it all.

“It’s just I realized that even after you’re pregnant there’s going to be this little you out there,”

“Technically this is the second little me,” Brandon gives the side eye, “Seriously, how did you graduate college?”

“I don’t know, Cs get degrees,” he smiles, everything feels more natural.

“I was just getting used to all the physical aspects of dating a pregnant woman and then it kicked and I realized you’re not just going to have a baby and that’s that, the kid is going to be in your life forever and I don’t think I care about that but I just got in my head about the future and panicked.”

He pulls over the car and puts his hand over Anya’s, “And then I left and then I was so embarrassed about being so dramatic I didn’t talk to you and then too much time passed and… well we’re here and I’m sorry for being stupid.”

Anya looks down at his hand, Brandon feels so self conscious he’s about to pull away, “Just don’t let it happen again.”

“I told you from the beginning that this was weird and I’d understand if you freaked out. So in the future just talk to me, chances are I’m panicking just as much.”

She gives his hand a squeeze, “Plus, I work with tweens and teens I understand histrionics better than most people.”

“So are we good?”

“No. You owe me big time, you straight up did not talk to me in any way for almost a month, but broadly speaking we’re good.” She smiles before leaning over to give him a quick peck, which quickly turns to more.

When they both come up for air Anya’s the first to speak, “Want to hear something crazy that happened while we weren’t talking?”

“Of course.”

“If the baby is a girl my brother’s want to name her Anya.”

“They want to name the baby you give birth to after you? That’s insane.”

“That’s what I said! I’m already going to be Auntie Mommy, I don’t think we need to cross anymore weird lines as a family.”

“So you’re definitely hoping for a boy then,”

“I think once they see what happens in a delivery room they’’ll name the baby anything I want.”

“Before I drop you off do you want to get dinner with me?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

“Yes, but only so we get the food you’re currently craving most.”

“You might get in my good graces faster than I thought.”

•••••

Brandon maneuvered Anya backwards towards his bedroom, peppering her skin with kisses.

“I feel off balance,” she giggles, turning around.

He wraps his arms around her and kisses her neck, “Yeah I’ve seen how long it takes you to get off your back, we don’t need that.”

She elbows his ribs but pulls him along to the bedroom before stopping in her tracks.

“Is that…?”

“The maternity pillow you wanted yeah,” Brandon smiles as he bounces at the end of his bed.

Anya chokes on her words as she begins to tear up. She fans her face for a second but can’t get the tears to stop and just goes with her emotions.

“I love you so much,” she sobs out, “and you don’t need to say it back or anything cause I don’t know if that’s real or not and I’m low-key still mad at you.”

She picks up the pillow and hugs it to her body, “I’m just having a lot of emotions right now, mostly I just miss being able to sleep on my stomach. Or just like comfortably at all and this is so nice.”

“Do you want me to make you even more emotional?” Anya merely nods in response, “I bought you one for here and your place.”

Anya lets out a sob, “You’re so thoughtful, I definitely do love you, but don’t say anything back because I’m a mess.”

She lays down on the bed covering her face as she continues to cry. Brandon lies back next to her, moving her hands and wiping some of her tears away.

“I definitely love you too,” his warm brown eyes have a glossy sheen, like he’s close to crying or laughing, it doesn’t really matter both are applicable in the moment.

“Shut up,” now she’s half laughing, half crying.

“I’m serious, plus this is a dream come true I’ve always wanted to tell a girl I love her and make her cry.”

They stare into each others eyes, Anya’s tears starting to subside.

“I really want to make sweet, sweet love to right now, but I also really want to take that pillow for a test run.”

Brandon breaks out into a grin, “That’s what I was expecting; for us to confess our love and then you immediately want to sleep with a pillow more than me.”

What was supposed to be a nap turned into a full night’s sleep, Anya only waking up as the sun began to shine through the open curtains. It’s still early, too early to get out of bed but she feels well rested in a way she hadn’t since her bump began popping.

She flips over to see Brandon, mouth wide open, still fast asleep. She stares at him for what’s probably a creepy amount of time before she reaches out to brush a stray piece of hair behind his ear.

He hums in response but keeps his eyes closed for a moment.

When he finally opens his eyes he gives a sleepy smile, “how long have you been staring at me?”

His voice is groggy and deeper than usual, vibrating low against his Adam’s apple.

She ignores his question, “has anyone told you you’re beautiful?”

He scrunches his face and lets out an amused breath.

“Seriously, you have nice, warm eyes and high cheek bones that Barbie would kill for,” she brushes a thumb across the protruding bone, “and you almost have a perfect cupid bow’s lip.”

She runs finger along the shape of his upper lip. Brandon moves to hold her hand there, giving her fingertips a kiss. They don’t move for a bit, just enjoying the calm sleepy moment. Only for the spell to be broken by a loud stomach growl.

“How the tables have turned… Do I need to feed you?” Anya smiles.

“I don’t have much to eat here.”

“We can go to the diner and I’ll buy you some pancakes. It’s probably the only thing nearby that’s open anyway.”

“Do you want me to dress like a homeless person?”

“Aww yes it would be a cute full circle moment, us getting our post ‘I love you’ meal at the place we met.”

“Are you going to cry again?”

“No, I think good sleep really keeps the hormones under control.”

“So I get an I love you, pancakes, and a less hormonal girlfriend. That pillow was the best purchase anyone has ever made.”

•••••

“I’m not gonna sit with your family Bran,” she rolls her eyes as she gets dressed, “I’ve never even met them.”

Brandon grabs her hand and pulls her back towards him and the bed, “Fair enough, but at least stay the night.”

He gives her his best puppy dog eyes before kissing her shoulder.

“Nice try, but they land early in the morning and I don’t want to meet them looking freshly fucked and running late for school.”

She runs her fingers through his shaggy hair, “I’ll just casually meet them after the game then you guys go out to dinner and enjoy your time together.”

“If I can handle your brothers at a drag show you can handle a dinner with my family.”

She huffs, “I just don’t want to make it weird, you don’t see them all together a lot.”

“Why would you make it weird? You’re my girlfriend. It would weirder if you didn’t show up after I’ve been talking you up this whole time.”

“Fine.” She gives him quick peck, knowing if she lingers at all the warmth of the bed and Brandon will keep her there, “see you later.”

Later, she finds herself in front of her closet hating everything she owns, partly because half her wardrobe doesn’t fit over her swollen belly and the other half is so heavily in rotation it’s currently living in her hamper.

She begrudgingly decides on a dress that probably clings to her a bit too much, but is at least a soft fabric that won’t make her belly and breasts itchy in public. She throws a jacket on top and prays she’s at least somewhat presentable to meet a boyfriend’s family.

The game is close but the Penguins manage to squeak by and win.

Of course, before she makes her way down towards the locker room she needs to pee for the one thousandth time that day. By the time she makes it to the corridor, Brandon is already surrounded by a group people.

She takes a deep breath. She meets parents all the time, albeit parents of students, but parents all the same. She just needs to bring that same energy.

She moves enough to catch Brandon’s eye before moving in and giving him a quick peck before turning towards his family.

“Hi I’m Anya,” she gives a small wave.

“This is my mom Sophie, my dad Mike, and my brothers Chris and Kyle.”

“Sorry it took me so long, someone was playing kickball with my bladder,” she laughed lightly, absentmindedly rubbing a hand over her stomach.

“Oh, you’re pregnant,” Mike states, clearly this is news to him and by the looks of everyone else it seems like news to them too.

“What the fuck Brandon, you didn’t tell them?”

“I– uh–“ he stutters.

“It’s not Brandon’s if that’s what you’re thinking,” she scrunches face realizing she misspoke, “It’s my brother’s”

“Anya you really need to stop saying it like that,” Brandon cuts in before she rehashes her whole scatterbrained explanation, “She’s the surrogate for her brother and his husband.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Sophie smiles sweetly, the family’s worry passing at least visibly.

“Yeah she’s pretty selfless,” Brandon gives her a dopey smile and squeezes her hand.

His brothers, despite being adults, make faking vomiting sounds that still manage to get a good laugh.

“Now that we’ve made this sufficiently awkward I think it can only go up from here, so dinner?” Anya laughs.

“You’re just saying that cause you’re starving,” Brandon chuckles.

“I’ve been hungry for the last two months, now or later makes no difference to me.”

“I was so hungry every time I was pregnant,” Sophie smiles, “You must be having a boy.”

“Not sure, my brothers don’t really care about gender as a concept so they want a surprise, but I’ve been guessing boy.”

“How far along are you?”

“31 weeks, so almost to the home stretch.”

“That’s going to be one big baby, Sophie chuckles.

At the restaurant Anya sat next to Brandon, who was clearly nervous after the first impressions and maybe nervous that Anya will yell at him for not telling his family about her very visible condition. His knee was bouncing uncontrollable, more so than his usual jitters, and Anya placed a hand to stop him from jiggling the table.

“What did you think of the game?” Chris opens the conversation.

“It seemed good, I’m from a big theater family so I’m still learning the whole sports thing. It’s really fun to watch in the arena though. And it must be really cool to play against your brother, I mean I know I’d kill to get paid to bash my brother against a wall a few times,” she giggles.

The comment launches off a passionate conversation about the boys hockey careers, all the hardships they faced to get there, the late growth spurts, and of course the competitive nature between siblings that led to lots of bruises and maybe some concussions.

It continues until their meals arrive and there’s a shift in attention from the Tanevs to Anya.

“So Brandon here clearly hasn’t told us much about you,” his dad says pointedly to his middle child, “but we do know you’re originally from Ohio and you’re a middle school Vice Principal,” and with that the traditional family interrogation begins.

“I mean you don’t need to know much more, that pretty much sums me up,” she says before a classic Anya rant begins, “well I don’t work at a school with a ton of money so I also teach a couple classes a year too, usually an art elective or science class. I went to Carneige Mellon so I have this weird like theater/design/engineering degree that you couldn’t get anywhere else because those things don’t really go together, but they kind of do if you teach. So then I got my masters at Pitt and stuck around here.”

She feels a little flush after telling her academic history in about 30 second.

“But middle schoolers, yikes,” Kyle shudders.

“Not a very popular job, it’s why I’m a vice principal under 30. But I like working with middle schoolers, they put a lot of things in perspective.”

They look on curious.

“I mean it’s all drama all the time. They’re angsty and don’t fully understand what’s going on with they’re bodies, they’re all of a sudden attracted to people they’re known since they were 6, and that’s all going on before the teen girl drama and the boys spending half the day trying to hide accidental boners.”

She can feel herself rambling again, “And they get through every single one of their dramatic days so it makes my problems seem smaller.”

“Speaking of accidental boners, any embarrassing stories I should hear about Brandon?” The group laughs and Brandon turns a thousand shades of pink.

“Please, don’t give her any ammo,” he pleadingly looks over to his older brother.

“My brothers have given you photographic evidence of some of my most humiliating moments, I deserve this.”

•••••

Anya pulls up to the intimidatingly large house in Sewickley; she’s beyond tired but promised she’d make an appearance at the team party. She doesn’t even need to double check if she has the right address, as soon as she opens her door she hears the party excitement.

She pulls on a sweatshirt to combat the evening breeze and makes her way into the backyard of the house.

At first no one really notices her, but it’s hard to miss a woman with a beach ball for a stomach for too long and a group of WAGs brings her into their group, forcing her off her feet and offering to get her something to eat. Anay wants to complain that they’re treating her like a child, but she has swollen hippo feet and is happy for them to cater her needs.

“How are you feeling?” Kelsey asks, her own baby bump starting to come in.

“So over being pregnant, I’m one week away from doing all the things I need to jumpstart labor. Like until this baby is out of me it’s going to be all spicy food and all heartburn.”

“Brandon is about to get very lucky.”

“Yeah if I’m not eating and he’s in town I am jumping his bones for sure,” Anya grins wickedly.

Then she catches Brandon in her peripheral being tackled by a group of Penguin children during a game of ball hockey. She crosses her legs in embarrassment by how hot the sight makes her, she’s not even sure she wants kids of her own but Brandon being so good with them is weirdly erotic.

“It’s not just the pregnancy,” Kris’s wife, Catherine, hands her a drink, “I think it’s evolution for us to find men who are good with children hot.”

“I’m around men who are good with kids all the time, this is different.”

“It’s cause you looooovvvve him,” Carly sing songs her way.

“Yeah I think it’s that,” Anya laughs.

After the dog pile breaks up Brandon makes his way over to the girls planting a kiss on the top of Anya’s head.

“How was the baby shower?

“Fine, less men in drag than I was expecting, but my brother’s liked their gift.”

“You’re already giving them a kid, is that not enough?” Kayla ask incredulously.

“Oh way more than enough, but I found these fake tits that men can wear to simulate breast feeding and I thought if the baby hates it then they can do something real nasty in their act.”

“And did they end up having you all wear matching outfits?” Brandon laughs, he had been waiting to hear all the weird details.

She lifts up her sweater to reveal her top, “Oh yeah we all got crop tops that say Daddy.”

Some of the other guys have gathered around and laugh at the sight of the almost full term woman in small crop top. The happy sounds bring a slew of curious children as well, a little Victoria crawling into her mom’s lap staring curiously at Anya’s stomach.

“Next time your brothers throw a party please invite us,” the group seems to be in agreement, half because it sounds like a fun party and half because it’s so outside their comfort zone they know they would need to see it to believe it.

Anya sets down her cup and cradles her stomach looking towards Brandon, “Oh yeah, my mom decided to drive home so we’re not getting brunch tomorrow.”

Brandon nods, not sure how to respond when he’s a little relieved he doesn’t have to meet Anya’s mom, even though she had already met his parents.

“Probably for the best she was in fine form today, I think she’s mad that my brothers want the baby to eventually call her gran and she’s a little mad I told her II don’t want her in the delivery room.”

“I couldn’t have gotten through my delivery without my mom, Brian almost passed out,” Kayla raises her brows.

“It’s only because the last time I gave birth she yelled at me for like an hour, and it wasn’t even about me being a irresponsible teen who got pregnant it was because I didn’t clean my room before I went into labor.”

She’s telling the story as if it isn’t completely outrageous, probably because it’s practically become folk lore over the last decade of recounting it.

“She made the nurses so nervous and uncomfortable to come in and talk to us that by the time she stopped yelling at me I was too far along to get an epidural. Then she started yelling at me about college applications until the nurses finally kicked her out, but my dad was a great birthing coach. Very calming, although I guess anything would have been calming in comparison.”

The group seems a bit apprehensive, “You can laugh it stopped being traumatic years ago.”

The conversation moves on to the rest of the groups funny pregnancy stories, all of which sound a bit traumatic to the uninformed, non-parents in the group.

Victoria who has been intently staring at Anya this whole time finally makes her move and puts her tiny hands on Anya’s bump. Catherine goes to apologize and swipe the nosey little one away.

“Don’t worry about it, she’s the only one who’s allowed to touch it without permission.”

She pulls up her sweater again to reveal her stomach in it all it’s glory, “Sometimes if you wave to the baby, it will say hi back.”

She takes Victoria’s hand and rubs it on her skin in a waving movement. It takes a moment but the baby kicks against her hand, Victoria looks between her mom and Anya excitedly before trying again. She receives another hello kick.

“I think someone like you Victoria,” the little girl squeals in response and waves again.

Brandon feels a swell in his chest at the sight, he didn’t think he could fall harder for Anya, but now he was picturing having kids with her as if that was in some five year plan he had.

He offered to refill Anya’s drink as an excuse to walk away from the confusing moment that was both endearing and weirdly arousing to him.

•••••

Anya hisses, scrunching her eyes shut for a few seconds.

“You okay?”

“Yeah just a contraction,” she recomposes herself and waves off her boyfriend.

“Whoa whoa whoa, a contraction? Like you’re in labor? Shouldn’t we go to the hospital? You’re four weeks early.”

“I’m just in pre-labor, it’s fine.”

Brandon still isn’t moving forward.

“My contractions aren’t very long and very far a part, I could be like this for another day.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve done this before.”

Brandon still looks unsure.

Anya grabs his hand and pulls him along the path, “We’re not that far from my hospital if things change, I texted my brothers what’s up so they’re ready to go at any time. Now please let me enjoy this walk, because it might help move this along so I can stop being so fucking pregnant.”

Brandon doesn’t response, not sure he’s totally okay with the direction this day is going.

“So I’m guessing labor inducing sex is off the table then,” she cocks an eyebrow hoping to get him back on the pro-labor train.

“I really want to say no but I’m also super uncomfortable with fucking you into labor…”

Anya struggles to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She understands, but by the time the next contractions comes along she really wishes Brandon was enough of a man to help her speed the whole process along.

“I was really hoping the baby would hold on until I was teaching sex-ed next week. I’d love to teach those horny little freaks through some scare tactics.”

“That seems healthy.”

“What? I think if I saw one of my teacher’s go into labor in front of me at 13 I definitely wouldn’t have started having sex at 14. I probably would have waited another year.”

“You were 14?” Brandon looks shocked before exclaiming in pain when Anya crushes his hand and doubles over in pain.

She takes two deep breaths before continuing the conversation, “Girls go through puberty sooner than boys. In hind sight I realize I was fully a child, but back then I felt like I was already a woman.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? They’re definitely getting closer.”

She pulls out her phone and looks down at the time, “They’re still like 8 minutes apart and that lasted like 10 seconds, I’m fine.”

She continues walking down the path but Brandon is stuck in place, jerking her back towards him. He’s giving her warning eyes.

“Fine, we can go back to the car and then hang at my place. My go bag is there so I’ll be perfect prepared.”

“Thank you, now should I keep an eye out for your water breaking.”

“Labor is not like the movies, a lot of women’s water don’t break until they’re already at the hospital and even then it’s like a gentle trickle not the flood gates bursting open.”

Brandon’s brows are scrunched up.

“I will know if it breaks and let you know. But I probably won’t need to go the hospital until after roy leave for the road trip, so take a deep breath.”

Those were her famous last words.

By the time the couple gets to her apartment the time between contractions has already gotten significantly closer, they’re still not too long but it feels like the danger zone feels much closer.

They’re curled up on the couch when the most furious contraction hits.

“What time do you need to get to the airport?” she says with a strained voice.

“In like two hours.”

“Okay, so we should probably go to your apartment to get you bag so you can take me to the hospital.”

“Oh my god let me just take you there now.”

“No no no: she clutches her stomach as the pain starts to subside, “there’s still time, but also like time to meander over there.”

Brandon is running around her apartment looking for her bag, he’s a bit like a chicken with his head chopped off.

“I’m the one who’s in labor so you need to relax. My bag is in the closet and let’s casually make our way to the hospital and I’ll get there in time and you’ll get to the plane in time for your road trip.”

“Are you sure, I can call someone and take a later flight or something if you want me there or–“

“Honestly the only thing worst than these contraction is the thought of you hanging in labor and delivery with my brothers. There are some things no one can unsee.”

He nods, clearly picturing something quite disturbing in his head.

By the time they make it to the hospital Brandon can’t feel his fingers from Anya squeezing them so hard. She finally admits she’s probably in active labor now. They’re greeted up front by her brothers who look just as flustered as Brandon was earlier.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?”

“No, these two idiots have got it covered,” she nods towards her brothers, “Good luck.”

“Good luck to you, too,” he gives her belly a small rub and her a quick but firm kiss.

•••••

At the sound of footsteps, Anya turns away from the TV towards the door and is surprised to see Brandon there with flowers, he finds a space on the side table to set them down and pushes her hair back.

“You’re not pregnant anymore,” he smirks.

“I know, the moment I’m released you’re taking me to a bar,” she laughs.

“How was it?”

“Glad I went into labor early cause she was 10 pounds.”

“Ouch.”

She scoots over in the bed and pats for Brandon to join her.

“On your way out you can look in the nursery, she looks like a full grown” she asks.

“I saw her with your brothers before I came in, but skipped the small talk to see you.”

Anya smiles and rests her head on his shoulder.

“And they didn’t name her Anya.”

“I know, and I love Margot, we’ve already started calling her Gogo.”

“Yaya and Gogo, how creative and not weird at all.”

“Everyone’s family has embarrassing but endearing nicknames, Bran Muffin.”

He rolls his eyes but pulls her in closer.

“Thanks for sticking around, I don’t think I could have made it through this without you,” she gently rubs hand against his chest.

“You would have been perfectly fine without me.”

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been as nice, you definitely helped keep me sane.”

“Now that you’re not pregnant, I want to ask you something…”

“You’re supposed to propose before I give birth. You know, to preserve my honor.”

Brandon bumps her with his shoulder, “This is sort of a reset for us and I’m hoping the season goes on for another month or so but either way I’d like you to come back to Toronto with me for the summer.”

Anya purses her lips.

“Cause you have the time off and I’ll mostly have the time off and I don’t want to miss out on all that time living in different countries and because I love you or whatever and–“

“I really like it when you’re the one babbling.”

“And I’d really like an answer.”

“By the time school is out, my body should be healed and it would be a real shame to miss out on all that bump free sex just because of proximity… and you know because I love you or whatever.”

She gives him a peck.

“But you’ll have to buy one of those maternity pillows for your place in Canada because I don’t think I can sleep without one of those things now.”

“Of course, that’s the or whatever part in I love you.”

[lovelylivelyv]

AAAAAAAAAAA

I just came back from the Animaniacs 2020 premiere on Twitter and the first episode was so. good. It was a surreal experience; I never thought this day would come! Here’s my thoughts:

-The Jurassic Park parody’s transition to the intro is SEAMLESS

-I don’t understand why they changed “Dot is cute” to “Dot has wit”. I mean, it makes sense, but all three of them have wit. It’s not her specific shtick.

-The end part of the intro feels so...LONELY. It made me realize how much I miss everyone else. But you know what? The visuals are still good! It cushions the pain ever so slightly.

-I can’t believe the Warners weren’t locked back into the tower all those years ago. Well, I’m just gonna assume they were in, like, some kind of coma all this time lmao

-I like the new CEO. She’s got Plotz’s no-nonsense attitude but her timing is impeccable.

-We were blessed with TWO songs in one episode. Yakko’s voice is still angelic, as well as the way he harmonizes with Wakko and Dot. Also, I commented on it as part of the watch party and TheAnimaniacs responded to it hAHA

-Pinky and the Brain had a strong start too. The Warners still sing the intro and OH MY GOODNESS THE VISUALS ARE PINK ELEPHANTS ON PARADE LEVELS OF TRIPPY I LOVE IT

-Baby Brain takes me back to “The Pitter Patter of Little Feet.” ‘Member that episode?

-The Warners sing a whole song about reboots and they cover so much ground. They also cover a lot of ground in the other song about all the trends that they missed.

-The full version of the sellouts clip from the trailers radiates South Park energy for me. Which is a good thing because South Park is R-rated Animaniacs and you can’t change my mind.

-Actually, both songs reminded me of South Park. Animaniacs and South Park are the two shows we need more than ever right now.

TL;DR I’ve fallen in love with Animaniacs all over again. Can’t wait to binge the other 12 episodes tomorrow!

[shirtlesssammy]

6x02: Two and a Half Men

Then:

Sam Winchester’s back from Hell

Now:

A woman runs with her baby from an unseen assailant in her house. She gets herself and her baby under the bed and they stay as quiet as possible. She sees her dead husband on the floor and can barely keep it together, but does, just in time for the assailant to pull her out from the bed, leaving the baby to watch the carnage. 

Dean, Lisa, and Ben start unpacking their life in their new home. 

Sam checks out the murdered couple. The baby is missing.

Dean orders pizza for lunch, disregarding Lisa’s earlier promise to Ben that they’ll check the neighborhood out when they go out for lunch. 

Sam confers with Grampa Campbell about the case. Something weird is happening with babies. Sam doesn’t see it, but notices that the house has a security system that wasn’t set off by the invader. They have a lead. 

Dean wanders into the garage to find Ben messing around with a shotgun from Baby's trunk. He makes it VERY clear that Ben will never shoot a gun. 

Ben wants to do what Dean does. Dean turns on the ol’ John Winchester charm and yells at Ben to shut up about the gun. Ben backs down and walks away, dejected. 

Samuel has found another family that has the same security system --and fits the profile of the previous victims. Sam heads out to find them. 

Lisa confronts Dean about his altercation with Ben. She wants to know what’s up with Dean. If they killed what was after them, why is he acting like this? She gets that he’s trying to protect them, but he’s scaring her. 

Sam gets to the couple’s house only to find them already murdered. He follows bloody footprints through the house. 

The murderer pops out at him and they fight. Sam slices him with a silver knife, and the wound hisses. The assailant runs away. 

While Dean secures the perimeter that night, Sam calls needing his help on a case. Dean insists that he’s out. Sam tells him something so interesting that Dean meets him. 

Sam saved the baby!

The next morning, Dean hands Lisa a gun, tells her to salt the doors and windows, and takes off to work the case with Sam. 

First on the agenda: shopping for baby supplies. As they’re checking out, the baby starts wailing. Neither brother knows what to do --and here I want to question what the hell Dean’s thinking. Sam has an excuse re: no soul, but Dean, you’ve taken care of a baby before. Anyway, they keep looking at the poor thing like it has two heads. 

A nice woman comes up to coo over the baby and asks his name. Dean answers, “Bobby” and Sam answers, “John”. Yep, the baby is named Bobby John. She offers to change his diapers for them. Dean glances over at a security monitor and sees that her eyes are glowing. 

Dean declines. More specifically he says, “Give me the baby before I stab you in the neck.” Bold. The lady takes off running with Bobby John. Sam wrestles the baby from her while Dean full body tackles her to the ground. She plays the old lady card and security comes after Dean. He runs. 

Sam and Dean need to get off the road, especially since the shifter caught Sam’s license plate and is now a cop tracking the number.

At a motel, Dean changes Bobby John’s diaper and then hums him to sleep with Smoke on the Water. EVERY TIME I’m sorry to say this just makes my brain emit a low, steady brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

For Tender Dean Science:

Okay, I’ve rebooted. 

Sam - who has spent the whole time seated in front of research material - is impressed at Dean’s fatherly chops. But like, HE RAISED YOU, SAMMY. You must at least be able to logically analyze your memories? Dean chalks up his skillz to his recent experience parenting Ben. “I know he’s not my kid, but lately I’ve been feeling like...yeah, he is.” He’d like to raise Ben better than they grew up. In related news, do you ever want to just chew off your own arm???

Soulless!Sam informs Dean that moving Lisa and Ben from place to place is just as bad as their own fractured childhood. 

Sam pushes Dean to consider that his paranoid behavior is turning him into their father. I do like that Sam is helping my girl Lisa out with the traumatized man living in her home but DAMN, SAM. While Dean broods over his failures as both a father and a partner, Sam realizes that the dad in the recent deadly home invasion is still alive. He heads out, leaving Dean to dip his finger in whiskey and let Bobby John have a taste.

Bobby John’s dad is...not bereaved. His wife was cheating on him and got pregnant. (So apparently she deserved a gruesome death? Huh. Good to know, dude.) She denied she was cheating, telling him that he’d come back early from a trip and they’d had sex. It’s fun how the layers of trauma this cold open woman goes through just get worse and worse. 

At the motel, Dean’s relaxing on the vibrating bed when there’s a wet explosion from the crib. It’s not a poopy diaper! When he peers over the crib, Bobby John’s an entirely new baby. (He’s the baby on the diapers box and I really hope those parents got to keep that prop!) Sam calls with a new theory - the baby’s father is a shapeshifter!

Bobby John gets cleaned up just in time for a shady manager to knock on the door and demand to be let in. The shapeshifter cop from earlier bursts in just as Dean unlocks the door. He’s there to bring the baby to “our father,” whomever that is! They engage in fisticuffs, until Sam arrives and shoots the shifter.

Later, they’re driving off with Bobby John to find a safe haven for the little tyke. “I didn’t even know they had babies,” Sam says, of shifters. “I thought they were just freaks of nature - like, X-Men style.” Gurl, please. He refers to Bobby John as a monster, but Dean insists that Bobby John is just an innocent baby. If I had a dollar for every time this show danced around this point only to fuck off and forget it in the next episode, I’d have a lot of dollars. 

Sam suggests bringing Bobby John to the Campbells to raise, which Dean thinks is a monumentally poor idea. (I’m Dean/Cas endgame BUT imagine society if Dean had brought Lisa a shapeshifter baby to raise!!!) Sam “not all hunters” the Campbells, then says that Samuel is like Dean. This is...not the slam dunk argument Sam thinks it is. “I’m a freakin’ head case,” Dean rebuts and it is a SOLID REBUTTAL. Still, they head to the Campbell’s compound.

And it is a literal compound, with armed guards standing patrol at the metal gates. In the grim main building, cold Campbells circle Dean and Bobby John like sharks. All the Campbells look like they’re one step away from taking a knife to the baby. Dean refuses to hand over Bobby John to any of the “family.” Sam asks to hold Bobby John. Sam then immediately turns around and hands Bobby John over to Samuel and I CHEW MY OWN ARM OFF I HATE SOULLESS!SAM sometimes. Dean wants to know what the plan is now.

All the dark looks shot between the Campbells make me want to scream, and then weep. 

Dean’s worried about the Campbells wanting to study Bobby John (in the mad scientist way) and Christian Campbell laconically comments that Dean’s mind goes straight to torture. When Dean demands an explanation, it’s revealed that the Campbells know aaalllll about Dean’s torture time in Hell. 

The Campbells also fantasize about what a great hunter a shapeshifter will make. Samuel demands that Dean trust him, and then interrogates Christian about his baby-making failures with his wife. He offers Bobby John to Christian. “The crap I do for this family,” Christian mutters as he takes the baby. READERRRRRRRRRS, I hate him.

Outside, a dog yelps. Dean and Sam flee for the panic room with Bobby John while the Campbells load up with weapons. A shapeshifter arrives, wearing Samuel’s face. They tranquilize him after a fight, and try to take him prisoner. 

The shifter heads down to the panic room wearing Sam’s face, tosses Sam across the room, and then just...shimmers himself into Dean’s form. 

The shifter pins Dean against the wall, cutting off his air until he passes out. He then takes Bobby John and calmly walks out. 

Later, they all reconvene after the fight. Samuel reveals that the shifter was an alpha shifter, who spawned all the other shifters. “The lore” also says that an alpha can sense their babies anywhere. 

As Dean and Sam walk out to the car, Dean goes over the details of the hunt. He wants to know if Sam registered what the shifter at the motel had said about his “father.” Sam lies incredibly poorly, but Dean puts it all together. If Sam knew the alpha was on the hunt, then he would have known that he would come after Bobby John. Dean wants to know if he was using the baby as bait. Sam plays it off - he just thought the Campbell compound was the safest place. UGH DOUBLE UGH at all the terrible layers. 

Samuel has a brief phone call, complaining to an unknown boss about how hard it was to try to take the alpha shifter prisoner. 

Back at Lisa’s, Dean frets about the best way to keep Lisa and Ben safe. He acknowledges that he’s been acting like a prison guard. “You tell yourself you’re not gonna be something...my dad was exactly like this. All the time. Scared the hell outta me.” Lisa tells him that she knows one thing: 

She looks at him, and sees someone who wants to hunt. But she also tells him that he sees himself as “some bad, awful thing. But you're not.” She proposes that Dean head out to hunt with his brother, and stop by when he can. Maybe they can have it all!

Dean smiles a real, honest smile in the garage as he pulls the car cover from Baby. Smoke on the Water plays us through a truly gratuitous hot rod close-up of Baby. The curves! The headlights!

For I’m Just Gonna Give You Two the Room Science:

Dean is back in town!

Baby Quotes:

So either we've got monsters grabbing babies to make baby stew, or we've got a bunch of psychotic yokels grabbing babies to make baby stew. Either way, it's baby stew, which is bad

You think I speak baby?

I've never seen a baby monster before

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[dcforts]

[day 1: advent calendar]

Dean couldn’t believe that he was going to be late.

Of all the times it could happen, it had to be on that day, on that snowy February night of his first date with Cas.

The universe or whoever wrote it really had it in for him.

It had taken him twenty seven hours, since Cas had invited him to dinner at his place, to choose what to wear, and only when he’d allowed himself to relax and think that he had no reason to be nervous - he was Dean Winchester after all, he could handle anything – it was with that renewed spirit and ten minutes to spare on his schedule, that he’d shot Cas a casual:

want me to bring something?

Except Cas had replied:

why, aren’t you already bringing flowers and chocolate? ;)

And Dean should have known. They’d been joking all day that this was going to be their first date date, after a series of - totally accidental, slightly awkward, definitely too short for Dean’s taste - encounters.

But maybe, it hadn’t been a joke? Of course Cas would want the whole traditional movie-like scenario. With his perfectly tussled hair, his Puss in Boots blue eyes, his incredible humor and endearing smile.

And Dean was screwing it up before it could even begin. He couldn’t even be trusted with the basics of dating.

Truth to be told, that wasn’t his fault. Dates were never really his thing, he was more the type you meet in a bar, have a great night with and don’t see ever again. But with Cas – he wanted things to be different.

When he read his text, he didn’t even reply, he just started panicking in the middle of his apartment and kept on panicking as he descended the stairs as fast as he could (he had to ran up them again cause he’d fogotten his car keys). Still panicking he put his car into gear, and still panicking made his way across town looking for anyone that could be open at this hour.

He’d already started listing excuses in his head when he finally spotted the lights of a Gas n’ Sip. The tires of the Impala squeaked as he pulled over. A quick stop, just a quick stop. He could do this.

He jumped out of his car and grabbed his phone.

Five minutes late.

As he ran through the glass doors of the store, he shot Cas a text with one hand that said: o  M wa y

“I’m looking for chocolate boxes?” he shouted in the empty place as he roamed around the aisles under the neon lights.

The cashier barely paied attention to him. They said: “Take a look in the basket here – there’s some stuff left over from Christmas.”

*

So, that’s how that had happened.

Okay, he was a little embarassed. Maybe, showing up empty handed would have been the better choice.

Cas had accepted the box and stared at it for a long moment. They were in the hallway and Dean had his heart in his throat. He was still wearing his jacket and he was aware that melted snow was running from the tip of his boots right on Cas’ soft carpet. Cas must have had the heater on full blast cause his cheeks were bright pink and Dean was starting to sweat. Or maybe he was just starting panicking again as he waited for his reaction.

“I don’t understand,” Cas said at the end, looking up at him and then tilting his head slightly on one side.

“It’s – it’s got chocolate inside.”

“I know. It’s an advent calendar.”

Dean let out a nervous laugh and brought one hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“Yeah – sorry,” he said, “That’s all they had at the store. And no flowers. But hey,” he took a step forward to point at something printed on the box, “see? Not expired. I checked,” he pointed out.

Cas’ face melted into an amused smile that had him relax a bit, because at least he seemed that he wasn’t gonna throw him out right away or just think of him as The Worst. “And also, the little angels on it are kinda cute, aren’t they?”

Cas nodded. Actually, Cas held the box against his chest with one arm as if it wasn’t made out of cheap cardboard and even cheaper chocolate and Dean hadn’t paied 2$ for it and said: “Thank you, Dean. I like it very much,” he smiled. “Even if I was only joking earlier. You know that, right?”

Dean didn’t have an answer to that, but the hundreds of expressions that surely crossed his face must have been enough for Cas, who huffed a laugh and added, “Having you here it’s more than enough,” brushing his arm with one hand and pushing Dean’s brain to a forced reboot. “Do you want to take off your jacket? I can get you a drink,” he said, before walking down the hallway and disappearing in the room at the end.

Only then Dean realized that his mouth was hanging open.

*

Now, Dean would have happily liked to forget all about that, except Cas put the calendar on display right next to the tv and really actually opened one little window every day for the following twenty five days, and Dean knew that for a fact because after that night, he kind of became a regular visitor.

Until only one window remained.

That night they were watching a movie, huddled together under a pile of blankets, when Cas stood up during commercials, grabbed the calendar and made his way back to the couch. “It’s the last one,” he said, caressing reverently the unopened little square.

Dean groaned. “Thank God. I don’t wanna see that thing ever again.”

“I happen to like it.”

“You should have thrown it away."

Cas frowned at him. “It was a gift. You keep those.”

“I bought it when i was in full panic mode, Cas. I would never have bought you something like that if I’d been in my right mind.”

Cas let him talk as he pried open the paper that trapped the chocolate. He took out the little square and held it towards Dean’s mouth. “Bite?” he offered, like Dean could ever resist a request from him. He took a bite and then watched Cas popping the other half into his mouth.

“I thought it was a good omen.” Cas argued then, “That we would have lasted at least twenty five days. And we did.”

He shrugged, smiling and settled once again against Dean’s chest with an arm thrown across his middle. Dean sighed and kissed the top of his head.

“Well, if that’s the case, then get me my phone right now cause I’m buying them in bulk.”

Cas huffed a laugh and tightened his grip.

joining @bend-me-shape-me in this! 

[hawaiian-has-moved]

Concepts for my oc Crypt.

The first image is when Crypt first arrives, which is not too long after Pinky and Brain also meet.

Crypt is from a cosmetics facility, and due to regulations being changed because of animal cruelty, they get transferred to be used at acme labs. quite ironic, huh

So when they arrive, they aren’t a vampire, nor have they had their genes spliced like the other mice there. And of course to explain for why they have eyeshadow, it’s from the cosmetics lab. It doesn’t come off. and I am aware they don’t just doll up the animals like you would people in real cosmetics testing, but hey this is my oc for a kids cartoon so I’m not gonna be too realistic with how horrible animal testing is.

I’d imagine in this moment, the captioning would be something along this.

“Brain, look! There’s another lab mouse here! I guess they’re making bigger projects now! Do you think this mouse will like the spicy cheese balls? Do you think I’ll get more cheese from them in the maze? Poit.”

“Perhaps....although...” Brain takes a pause as Pinky waves to get their attention. Crypt attempts to wave back and mimic his behavior, but doesn’t seem to be verbal. “Just as I thought, no Pinky, without the gene splicer this mouse is unfortunately (and surprisingly) duller than you my friend, now come, Pinky. We must get to working on tonight’s plan.”

Of course, later on, they are rather smart and begin working on making monsters and eldritch horrors. They’re not Brains enemy, they do both talk at times in the lab. It’s playful banter for the most part. So sometimes they happen to run into each other. They have similar inventions and ideas due to them both being relatively at the same level, but their intentions are different. So moment likes this occur.

Edit: the robot suit scenes don’t relate to the reboot episode, I just assume since Brain is on a tight budget he still uses the garp robot. This could be at any point in time.

This also just doubles as character design for the robot suit. In a discord server someone joked about him working at hot topic so it’s just canon now.

And since Crypt ends up in a relationship with Romy and Billie, they make their own little appearances here and there. Which I adore because Crypt is just my excuse to find an easy way to bring them back into my own little canon because It is uncertain in the reboot if we’ll ever see either of them again.

[plotwholls]

Every Reason I Hate That Jim Was Turned Back Into a Human in Wizards: Tales of Arcadia

I want to be so very clear: I adore this series with every fiber of my being. But I also hold it to a very high standard... and it messed up.

It destroys consequences. What The Fuck, guys. No, really. What the fuck. Do I hate Troll!Jim? So fucking much. I hate it. Devalued EVERYTHING Jim did to prove that he was a worthy Trollhunter. Do I still understand why the decision was made? Yes. And I am livid that they decided to reverse it when it’s supposed to be permanent.

Magic isn’t a cure-all. Everything about this series’s magic system is vague, but from the get-go in our introduction to Merlin, it was made very clear that magic had consequences and it couldn’t be used to fix everything. It had rules, even if they weren’t ones we could see. Jim becoming human again ruins that.

He’s fine. Why is he fine. Why. No, I’m dead serious, why is he fine? He went Troll because he thought he wasn’t enough. The manifestation of the soul is how you see yourself, something we can see as Jim’s soul slowly corrupts in the Shadow Realm. That means he hasn’t accepted that he’s not human anymore. So. Why the Hell is he fine when his amulet is now destroyed, he is no longer a Troll (an emotional crutch) and he has effectively lost all the power he had to take care of others, or at least power as he’s been viewing it? Is it just amnesia or something?! Like, what the fuck?! Directly after he watched someone die, Jim was forced into a difficult position and offered the power to make him stronger. Jim never dealt with the fact that he didn’t believe in himself and he never accepted that sometimes you just can’t do anything. He should be emotionally and mentally crippled right now, but he isn’t. In fact, he’s FINE.

No explanation. None. We were given exactly NO explanation for how Jim was saved from damnation. Merlin didn’t know what to do. Doux didn’t know what to do. And despite his confidence, I don’t think Vendel did either. So. What the fuck. Even a gaping expression and an exclamation of disbelief from Doux would’ve done the trick. It would’ve established that he didn’t have answers. Instead everyone’s just happy. They literally could’ve said that in the case of corruption you had to remind the corrupted item/person what they were supposed to be and it was extremely risky and very dangerous even for Master Wizards and it was a fool’s folly to try. It sets Claire up to be incredibly powerful and you could even include that the stronger the emotional ties the better. Throw in how the item/person takes on whatever form they think they’re supposed to have and now we have the question “is Jim really human, or does he just look it?” which would be incredibly interesting and it keeps with the consequences that were set. It even implies some consequences for Claire seeing as now, if something goes wrong with Jim, Claire would blame herself.

I just hate it. It was such a cop-out. I was bawling my eyes out when Jim turned to stone. Bawling. I was distraught that Jim hadn’t made it, but when he stepped out as a human, my brain blue screened. Then it rebooted. And then the first thing out of my mouth was “......why is he alive?” Because he shouldn’t be. Honestly. Admit it: Jim should be dead. ToA has been very good at maintaining death and when you pull this and then NEVER EXPLAIN IT, well, IT’S A PROBLEM. You’ve just broken your world’s rules. Not only that, it cheapens the emotional attachment people have to the character and it sets a precedent for “oh, they died. Eh. They’ll be fine in a couple minutes.”

I’ve seen the trailer for Rise of the Titans.

It looks incredible and it soothes my soul a bit to see that there was a point, but the fact remains that these are some pretty solid critiques. There needs to be an explanation in-cannon or else we’re gonna end up just saying “plot armor” and calling it a day. I don’t know about you, but I’m not alright with that answer.