#I have one in the works which I made for this comic

[cat0901h3]

Goosebumps Books 1-10

Can't believe that it took me nearly two years to just do 10 covers for the books. Will be posting more Goosebumps in the future, along with other stuff.

Read more to know my personal opinions and critiques on my fanart for each book:

Welcome to Dead House: I wanted to make the house look alive like Monster House, so I gave it more human characteristics (ie: the people in the windows to form eyes, or the finger-like branches.) Also paid homage to a horror film by styling it after The Amityville Horror house.

The Benson children themselves look a bit depressed, that's because the first book is actually more scarier than the rest of the series, so they're a bit angsty.

Stay Out of the Basement: This one killed a lot of my green markers lol. I tried to make Dr. Brewer as menacing as possible while still showing that he is a father with the photos, There were going to be more plants reaching out, but I decided that the leaves hidden on him would be enough.

Though I have to admit my disappointment with the lighting. It still looks a bit too bright, and not dark enough. That's just my own critique.

Monster Blood: Honestly, pretty mixed about this one. While I'm proud of the bubbling ooze that looks like a skull, which is outlined by one of my colored pens. I'm not proud that everything else is so muted with brown. Almost all of Jacobus' works are vibrant and saturated, so it being dull in colors feels like a disservice to him.

Also, Andy's last name was made up by me, she apparently just doesn't have one. It's inspired by Stephen King. Btw, hope you love banana and strawberry dyed hair, you'll see more of it soon in future batches.

Say Cheese and Die!: One of my favorite books, and of course it gets the best fanart imo. The screaming skeleton form of Greg Banks with red bg in the polaroid, contrasting with the dark background is just super cool, coolest shit I've ever done. Though I might be biased, I really like skeletons. Like Curly.

I actually made concept art for a Say Cheese and Die! graphic novel, which includes drawings of the photos and Spidey! Let me know if you're curious.

The Curse of The Mummy's Tomb: Not much to this one honestly. Just a mummy casually busting down a wall filled with hieroglyphics. Though I will say, I was experimenting with shading with purple and blues like Jacobus. As you can see, didn't stick for long.

This is also the book that I discovered that if the protag doesn't have a last name, then there is an official one either in the Presents novels, the mobile app, comics or other.

Let's Get Invisible!: This was pretty tricky to draw. Drawing someone turning invisible maybe easy in Photoshop or Procreate, but this was traditional art. Sure Jacobus did it with airbrushes, but I all had were pens and markers. But I somehow managed to pull it off, which is insane that I even managed that in the first place.

Night of the Living Dummy: Ah, the infamous Pamela Vorhees book, where the main antagonist isn't the mascot, but instead some other puppet lol. I've seen a lot of fanart of Slappy, but never of Mr. Wood. So I wanted to do justice for Wood while still showcasing Slappy. While I am proud for how it mostly turned out, there are two things that bother me. 1. This is the night sky that is black, the rest are either blue or purple. 2. I forgot to add the lines that make the jaw on Mr. Wood, whoops.

Aside from that, I hope guys like that Misfits poster in the background and Kris's cool hair cut. The green was inspired by the comic adaption not 2015 Jacksepticeye.

The Girl Who Cried Monster: Please forgive me for the small thumbnail, I wasn't using a ruler at the time. The design for Mr. Mortman wasn't much of a challenge. I loosely based it off of the French rendition of the cover and gave him a large leech-like mouth.

In my headcannon, the teeth spin like a garbage disposal, making easy work of the turtles.

Welcome to Camp Nightmare: Another one of my favorites, and I think I did a decent enough job, too. The lighting is perfect, the clouds look alien enough, and you can just barely see the screaming campers inside the tent. I do have one issue though, and that is the size of the monster, Sabre. In the original sketch I did, he was supposed to blend in like a bush, but instead he looks like Sasquatch Sr. Oh well.

While they did give Billy a last name in the Presents books, I had to make up one for Dawn. Just based it off Gwen Stacy lol. Also, hope you enjoy the little bonus pictures down below.

The Ghost Next Door: The original Jacobus art was perfectly vague enough to keep the twist there but not spoil anything. Of course to do the same thing, but with a twist of my own. The "ghost" shadow that you see in the street is the Dark Figure that follows Hannah around or when Danny is near. I wanted it to look like it was constantly on fire, since SPOILERS: someone in the book does die in a fire.

Another headcannon is that the Dark Figure isn't actually a ghost or whatever, but instead the embodiment of Misery.

[dark-lord-tom-returns]

This made me sit down for a good 20 minutes and think about how I view PTerry and Neil Gaiman's work. I've been a fan of PTerry and discworld forever. I gave Good Omens a try a few years after his death when the realization sunk in that Discworld was over and I wanted more of his work

Which was my first introduction to Neil. And I loved Good Omens! It was fantastic. It scratched that itch. So I looked for more of Neil's work since it seemed like, if he could write with PTerry, I'd probably like his stand alone stuff

I'd seen Coraline but never read it. I knew about Sandman but never really got past reading an issue or two in the comic shop. But I did love the show Lucifer which I found out was based on his work. But none of his books really drew me in. It was fine, good even, but it wasn't Terry's writing style. It didn't draw me in like his worlds

When the show Good Omens was released I was sold. Of course no one was going to be able to write like PTerry, but apparently Neil could script a show to make it feel like a world he would create. I enjoyed Sandman and GOs2. The world were rich and engaging. So I went back to the books and the magic still wasn't there, still good, but not what I wanted them to be

The more of the above I read the more I had to wonder. Would I have given his work as many chances if it wasn't for PTerry?

I don't think so. I rarely return to an author that doesn't immediately grab me the first time

There was an interesting thread on Bluesky dissecting Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's relationship

TL:DR - It seems like Gaiman has been exaggerating the level of closeness between them for YEARS

[akanemnon]

Wait wait wait, if Frisk and Kris are each half of Chara’s soul, does that mean they each retain different aspects of Chara’s personality?

If so, I’m guessing Frisk got Chara’s love of monsters, violent numbness, and deep compassion. And Kris got Chara’s hatred of humanity, love for their family, and social awkwardness.

In my personal headcanons, it’s pretty much the same thing but Kris is the whole, and Chara and Frisk are the halves. It’s funny that someone else agrees that “Kris and Frisk/Chara are the same person” or “Kris, Frisk, and Chara are unrelated” is too simple for my taste, because I actually made my headcanons before I even read Twin Ruens.

Btw, thank you SO MUCH! The work you put into these comics is INSANE! AND FINALLY SOME GOOD KFC GANG RECOGNITION! Your art, designs, and dedication is truly inspiring! Honestly, a lot of my current art style came from your early comics. Keep it up! Us Twin Runes fans will stick with you no matter what! And if you ever want to take a break, please do so, pumping out long comics on so many platforms must be exhausting.

Please exuse my fanenbying and have a great 2025! ^^

In the case of Twin Runes saying "they are the same people" or "they are unrelated" really ARE too simple answers.

You are right, both Kris and Frisk have one half of Chara's soul. Not just a red soul. It IS, in fact, Chara's. The comic HEAVILY hints towards it, which is why I'm so openly talking about it. The only thing I can't talk about yet is the HOW and WHY. You goys gotta sit tight for that.

But them both having one half of Chara's soul is the reason why only they were able to see them. And it's the reason why Chara points out that the resonance of their souls felt familiar.

They've been dead for so long that they can't recognize their own soul anymore. Also because there is CLEARLY something else in Kris and Frisk to replace the missing other piece.

But yes, both Kris and Frisk do natually take on some of Chara's traits because of that. Kris is more or less a reflection of how Chara could have turned out like if they had been raised by the Dreemurrs.

Well... that's not 100% true because Kris (and Frisk) are still their own people. It's a nature vs. nurture sorta thing. Personality and behavior wise they're ALL very different from one another.

Again, this line right here is SUPER IMPORTANT.

The correct way to put it is "Kris and Frisk are not Chara, but Chara is a part of them."

[alastor-x-reader-stories]

Could you do a one-shot where alastor is super nervous when meeting reader, not really on his face but more his body language where when she shakes his hand he continues shaking it or doesn't let go immediately. nervous smile too lol, thanks love your stuff!!

Heeey I wrote it hope you don't mind some interpretation on my part! You didn't mention why Alastor was nervous so I just did whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tags: Oblivious Alastor, Cartoonist Writer, Humor, awkward affection, Alastor is either oblivious or in-denial, Nifty is Nifty and you should all love her

-----------------------

Alastor’s introduction to you was not a willing one. Charlie had started a bit of a bookclub at the Hotel as some odd attempt at bonding. Alastor wanted no part of it, but after the 532nd time Charlie asked him he said something particularly scathing and the princess was cruel and told Vaggie, and the ex-exorcist would NOT stop stabbing his door until he finally relented.

Of course, his choice of book was one called ‘Blank’. It was a notebook with nothing written in it. Very easy to discuss at a bookclub.

Charlotte was not impressed and Vagatha once again starting throwing vague threats in his direction. How tempted he was to just kill both of them, but alas this hotel has been the greatest form of entertainment he’s had in years (is what he tells himself.)

Darling Nifty came to his rescue, offering up a variety of different light-reading to be discussed in the future. Most of which were….not to his taste. Nifty’s interests highlighted most definitely, but Alastor quickly chucked the books out the window when the story turned to ….that.

As the number of books dwindled, he was just about prepared to give up on this stack entirely and fetch something meaningless to pretend to read (who’d check, anyway?).

He picked up one, a flimsy comic-book like thing and rolled his eyes once before giving it a go. The story wasn’t anything particularly interesting. The plot was just two bunnies going to get some ice cream. But the wordplay, the exaggeration of all the smallest obstacles, how self-aware and absurd it was gave him a good laugh. The Radio Demon’s first introduction to your work.

Although the bookclub idea ended up going nowhere, Alastor found himself seeking out more of your works. Another about a man just making a taco, one about a woman folding her laundry. So many little, day-to-day situations amplified to a ridiculous amount. Clever one-liners and humorous puns sprinkled throughout kept it intelligent enough for him to maintain interest despite the absurdity of it all.

Eventually he got a cartoon you drew that seemed just the same as the rest. Some random cute cartoon raccoon drawing some random little cartoon things. There was a scene in it though that stuck to Alastor’s mind (and dare he say, heart) like glue.

In it, the raccoon was confronted by a shark. “Why do you bother making these?” the shark sneered “No one reads these but you, no one looks at them but you, there’s no point.”

“Why does there need to be a point?” The raccoon said. Alastor’s ears straightened up on their own accord as he read “Even if no one sees it, it’s something I made and it’s some I enjoyed making.”

“Even if you put it out there, no one will care about it.”

“Someone will. They might not say anything but there’ll always be at least one.”

“Do you know how stupid you sound? No one gives a crap about your ‘passions’!”

“I do.”

“Do you know how stupid you sound-“

And then the raccoon pressed a button and an anvil fell onto the shark, comedically turning it into a pancake. “Your argument doesn’t have any depth.” The raccoon said. The story moved on from there.

It struck a bit of a chord with Alastor, he could admit that much to himself. And the raccoon’s way of dealing it was something he’d keep in mind for his next encounter with an annoyance. He didn’t put much stock in it, as storytellers and their stories don’t always agree on all things.

Your comics were a little joyful distraction when he needed them, that was all. Nothing deep and profound.

“BOSS!”

Alastor slammed shut the book he was reading, his grin never faltering though his twitching ears indicated a slight nervousness. He tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Hello, Nifty! Did you need something?”

Nifty scamped up his chair and onto his lap, settling down andstaring up at him with her one big eye. “BOSS BOSS BOSS BOSS I MET THE DEMONESS WHO DRAWS THOSE CARTOONS YOU LIKE”

Alastor’s eye twitched “Oh? Well, that’s neat.”

She stood up, squishing his face between her hands and stared more as her grin grew wider and more manic “Did you want to meet her?”

Yes

“Now, now, Nifty.” Alastor said as he removed her hands from his face “There’s better ways to waste one’s time.”

Nifty tilted her head, staring at him as though it would allow her to see into his mind. Her expression shifted into….One he hadn’t seen on Nifty, admittedly. The best way he could describe it was ‘smug’. But what would she have to be smug about?”

“If you say so, Boss!” She chirped, hopping off his lap and trotting off “But yeah I was at the Evermore Book-Store and she was there working ‘cause I guess that’s what she does for a livng….” Nifty’s voice faded away as the little maid walked off, not caring her rambling were being said to no one.

After Alastor had finished his errands for the day, he happened by that very store…for…Reasons. Upon entering it, he realized he had no idea who- what- he was looking for. The store itself wasn’t large. A couple patrons, one large hulking demon with tiny spectacles at the desk and a much smaller one organizing shelves.

One of the workers, then?

Not that he cared.

“Pardon me!” Alastor chirped to the desk demon. Their big eyes seemed to move in slow motion to him, a low grunt accompanying the acknowledgement. “I’m looking for someone, yes? The author of some silly comics?”

The demon slowly narrowed their eyes, lips curling up into a snarl as a growl emanated from them.

“Ah, so she is here?”

The demon planted their very large hands on the desk, pushing themselves up to stand at their full height. They were taller than Alastor by a good three feet, and much more muscular as well. Their nostrils flared, blowing hot air into his face.

Alastor wasn’t the slightest bit phased. (He found it funny, actually). “So may I speak to her?”

The large demon opened up their gaping jaw-

“That’s me, hi! How can I help you?” The shelf-stacking demon interrupted, getting between Alastor and the clerk demon. A nervous little lady with a wobbly unsure smile and bags under her eyes that looked like they could carry the entirety of Hell in them.

Alastor held up one of your comics- a book that has been very obviously well-read “You’re the creator of these splendid little things?”

“Splendid…?” You repeated him, trailing off into an amused snort “Er. Yeah, I wrote and drew those.” The Clerk behind you closed their mouth, setting back down on their chair and adjusting their spectacles. The glare didn’t leave Alastor.

“Well, my dear, I find I quite enjoy them! It’s quite a pleasure to meet you.” Alastor said, not paying the larger (glowering) demon any mind. He found himself wondering why you were so tired and so timid. A woman like you should be so much more cheerful! Alastor was a tad offended….Because you weren’t smiling like he did. That’s it. Really.

“Well. I’m glad you like them.” You said. “It’s nice to meet you, too.” You offered your hand for him to shake.

One of his ears twitched. You must be fairly new to Hell, to offer a handshake so easily. Or perhaps a bit sheltered or on the naïve side. Alastor briefly considered making a sly deal to take your soul, but… Well, there was no need for that.

He took your hand and gave it a firm shake. Your hand was so much smaller than his own, but it felt as though it warmed his entire body. This was strange. Perhaps you were casting some spells on him? Why was he finding it so hard to focus- why did he feel like he didn’t know what to say next- why-

The Clerk gripped Alastor’s arm in between two fingers, gently but assertively pulling it away from you. You took half a step back, cradling your arm to your chest as if he burned you. Alastor glared up at the Clerk “Is there a problem?”

The large demon growled. You intervened again “Er….You were just. Holding my hand for a while. It was……kind of weird.”

“Ah.” Alastor cleared his throat, straightening his posture with a flourish “My apologies! Mind was elsewhere, you know how it is with us creative types.”

You blinked. Then your timid smile turned a bit more confident. A bit more…like a smirk. “Er. Yeah, I guess so. Well. See you around, I guess?”

“If I have the time, I suppose!” Alastor grinned “Well then, I must be off! Ta-ta!”

You watched as the strange demon disappeared into shadows and slivered off. As soon as all trace of him was gone, you laughed quietly into your hand “Well, I can certainly say for certain I know someone ‘awkward as hell’ now.”

Your friend groaned, gently pushing you over as they continued their own work.

[erinwantstowrite]

Hey! :) I’ve really been wanting to get into reading comics but I have no idea where to start 🥲

Do you have any recommendations or references for how to start reading about different dc characters? I mainly want to start reading about batman and the rest of his clan but I want to branch out to other characters as well

hi!! i've gotten this question a lot and i'm so sorry it's taken me so long to answer all of y'all! but i wanted to make sure if i made a list, it would be with the best references i could find, and that it made sense for even a beginner

what i've found is that... there's apparently no right answer? mostly, you'll find people recommending you to start with their favorite collections, like Batman: Hush, etc etc. from what i've been able to tell, getting into comics is about choosing one that sounds the most interesting to you, and going from there. if you like the collection you've picked up, then someone will recommend another collection, so on. a lot of people recommend that you start with a certain character, someone that you really like. so if Tim Drake is calling to you like many... many people, then you can find a reading guide for him and pick and choose from a collection. like this one from this blogger that helped me. one of my favorite characters is Cassandra Cain (though I don't write her as often, which kind of happens when I really like a character?). she has a Batgirl run!! Batgirl #1. (((please note that this link takes you to readallcomics.com, which you should use an adblocker for if you want to use this website. however!! it is very different from readcomics.com))) look how cool she is!!

however I personally like to try and read in chronological order because I don't like missing out on anything. in my search, i found an amazingly ordered, extensive website called comicbookherald.com

i started using this because they have a list in chronological order for many, many, many characters in the DC universe:

https://www.comicbookherald.com/reading-dc-comics/

one of the very first options on this list is Batman (listed in alphabetical), and when you click on him, you'll find exactly what you're looking for:

https://www.comicbookherald.com/reading-dc-comics/batman-reading-order/

the links on the actual titles in the list will take you to Amazon to buy the comic, but there are other ways to find these comics either online (like seen above with Batgirl #1) or through your local library (recommended). if your library doesn't have them, you might be able to find them at a nearby one or you can ask the librarian how a request works. they'd probably be happy to get it for you (support your local libraries!!!) you might find that you prefer going to a comic shop, and that's great too

i also looked up the publication history of the Batman comics using Wikipedia, just to make sure that I knew what i was doing, and i started with the very first on the list: Detective Comics #27. this is Bruce Wayne/Batman's very first appearance.

i also found some helpful videos that i personally have tried to follow:

"BATMAN 101: A GUIDE TO HELP YOU START READING BATMAN COMICS!" by History of the Batman

"Where to Start Reading Batman Comics | Best Batman Comics for Beginners in Collected Editions!" by Near Mint Condition

the issue is that it's pretty hard to read all of the characters at once and stay in order, which means you'll probably want to stick to reading one character at a time and piecing it together like that. but if you're feeling brave, i'd cross reference the years and publication history and go by the order of when each character shows up: start by reading Batman, and when Dick Grayson appears, look up his list and see how the publication history looks, and i guess start trying to read them side by side? the same would go for when Jason appears, then Tim, etc etc. but this might be VERY difficult, so i am very much recommending beginners to start by reading Batman's and branch out from there

my personal favorite right now is Batman & Robin: Year One because Dick Grayson is in it and he's so cute here in his Robin days

edit: adding on this ask i got about hoopla

[mrhrns]

A whole year has passed since then. I have truly hard feelings about this whole comic - exclusively for my own personal reasons. You see, it was made as a collaboration with another person. That person is now my thanks-long-ago-ex, with whom I was together for roughly 6 years. And it was... I don't know how to properly explain it rather than plain toxic abuse. Those damn relationship ended in june 2024, for which I am grateful still to my friends that helped me get out from this hell. And I'm still in a state of recovering from it, regularly getting flashbacks of all the traumas I got during that time. However, there are still other traces of it. This comic - is one of it. I really don't want to delete it, not only because I was also the one who did a titanic amount of work here, but because I see you, many people, who enjoyed it and who even returns to it after some time. But I also get regularly reminded of that person because of it. While I was astonished how greatly this comic was received by people, seeing all the audience response, it was never enough for them. They would belittle all those people reactions, then telling me in DM that "well, we did it all for nothing it seems". "I would never ever do anything like that again, it didn't paid off at all." Why am I telling all of this here? I'm not trying to spoil everyone's experience, of course. Perhaps I simply want to share what was behind this work all this time. I try my best to abstract away, seeing this only as a possibility of characters interacting with each other. But life is never going to be easy, eh?

The trials of Clavicus Vile

On the 1st of the Morning Star, the night of the summoning of the Daedric Prince of Desires and Deals - Clavicus Vile. It’s never clear how a contract with him will turn out. And if you ask for the impossible, being ready to do anything for the sake of your desires, maybe the New Year’s miracle really happened? Or not? Collaboration comic with https://www.tumblr.com/hanasari-blog @morhaerians - storyboard, sketch, clear lines, text @hanasari-blog - idea, colors, render, backgrounds, effects

It's a bit late, but Happy New Year everyone! Let your dreams and sacred wishes come true this year :)

[tossawary]

A while back, I had a playthrough of the PS5 "Spider-Man" game going on in the background, and I don't actually remember much from it, but it did do one thing that reeeeeally annoyed me at the time. Although, admittedly, I am not sufficiently familiar with the comics to criticize any of the writing choices with citations.

See, in this game, they had a redheaded love interest for Peter Parker named Mary Jane Watson, BUT this MJ was a journalist. In fact, there were a couple stealth sequences where the player briefly played as journalist MJ investigating some organized crime group.

And I had to stop working to squint at the screen for a while, because I couldn't remember anything about any movie, cartoon, or comic MJ ever doing any work as an investigative journalist. I'd thought that she was a model and actress??? I'd been under the impression that MJ had more of a party girl persona, at least outwardly.

I had to stew on why I disliked this choice, but I concluded that I hated the idea that female characters and their ambitions could be interchangeable. Not all people's personal identities are irreversibly intertwined with their careers, but some definitely are, and for others, career choices are still going to say something about their personality and background.

There are some characters who can job-hop across a wide variety of jobs and it doesn't impact their general characterization much. But there are other characters where I'm like, "If they lost their job, they would have an identity crisis and struggle to shift industries." Someone who is an academically minded scientist is not always going to have an easy transition into a profit-oriented sales job. Someone who likes to fix things with their hands is probably going to dislike switching to a job filling out spreadsheets. Someone who hates kids is probably not going to be a good teacher. Someone who was really professionally ambitious may not adjust well to being a stay-at-home parent, financially dependent on someone else and responsible for the well-being of a helpless little human being. And so on. All for various complicated human reasons.

I don't remember enough about the aforementioned game to be criticizing it specifically here. But generally speaking, I disliked the basic concept that a female character couldn't be interesting and challenging if she had a "shallow" and "feminine" career. I disliked the general concept that MJ could be "improved" as a character by being given a more "serious" / "intellectual" career. I disliked the idea that Peter Parker was REQUIRED to have a redheaded love interest named MJ, as per many preceding comics, but who MJ actually was as a person in terms of hobbies she enjoyed, ambitions she dreamed about, her opinions and fears and messy behaviors, could just be swapped out as if none of that internal richness mattered.

In my very basic knowledge, the "Spider-Man" comics have a wide cast of female characters, some of whom have been journalists or employees of the Daily Bugle! Peter has had MANY love interests over the years! And MJ apparently being "shallow" gave her specific (admittedly often misogynistic) relationship dynamics with other female characters like Gwen, which made MJ stand out as a unique personality. Not all superhero love interests have to be Lois Lane, investigative journalist!

To me, it's a little like making Lois Lane NOT a journalist, and making her into a model and actress instead. Like, you COULD do that. In fact, if you were really willing to put the work in for an AU, I'm sure you could do a fascinating character study about what would have to be different about Lois Lane's life to put her on a wildly different career path. But if there was a "Superman" game and you randomly changed Lois Lane's career without a great reason, you would get tomatoes thrown at you.

This game did have a reason to make MJ into a journalist: she became a source of information to move the plot forward and it briefly made her a playable character. Which is... fine. That's fun, even. I think you could have probably written the story in such a way that actress MJ was involved with something that ended up being a front for organized crime, to achieve similar results, but it is easier in some ways to just make her a journalist, I guess.

And hey, for all I know, this game really did a great adaptation of comics MJ into a journalist; maybe the writing had some really solid AU characterization for her. I do not remember it well enough, but I do remember the writing in other areas of the game being pretty solid. As a standalone character, I didn't think that this game's version of MJ was bad or anything.

But, lacking those citations to study her as am adaptation of the comics character, I still feel a little suspicious and salty about it.

I think this came to mind again because I was thinking about fanfiction AUs which change a character's career, and why they occasionally don't work for me. Sometimes, you take a character who is ordinarily fighting genetically engineered aliens in an apocalyptic wasteland, plop them in a Modern AU, and say, "They're a daycare worker now!" And I might be like, "Yeah, that's exactly where they'd be. That's their happy place. Hell yeah." But with other characters, you do the same thing, and I'm like, "I'm gonna be real, I think this would be this character's personal hell."

[yours-lovingly-cho]

𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ︵͡ ⁺

*scheduled post*

Trying to explore some new characters uhh Don't know what I'm doing but I'm doing

Him being an annoying af bf G/n. Established relationship

Interact with post to give me my daily dopamine boost :)

Masterlist!

“ What? ”

Gitae grunts, brow raised, fixing you under his gaze as you appear in the room with a grin that you were visibly trying to suppress

He has learned much of your expressions by now and this suppressed grin usually means something stupid is about to follow

You simply plop yourself beside him on the couch without answering, hands behind your back, hiding something. Locking eyes with him, you stretch out a palm

“ What. ” he grunts again, annoyed and brows furrowed

You only point your eyes to your open palm in response

His eyes narrow, brows furrowing deeper as he continued staring

Your eyes point to your palm again, pursing your lips, when he didn't move.

You were getting annoyed too, which smoothed the crease in his brows a little since he liked seeing your displeasure.

“ I don't have cash and even if I did, I won't spare you any ”

Your face twists in pure annoyance at that, “ Tsk as if I've ever asked for any. Give me that damned hand of yours ” you spit, you were far from having the patience of a saint afterall all

“ For what? ”

“ Just do man!! ” you reply irritated, amusing him further. He smirks like a devil, “ No, why would I? ”

Having enough, you snatch his hand yourself shooting a glare as you did. “ Moron ”

“ Good for you to be aware ” he shrugs with that stupid evil smirk still plastered on his lips, gazing at his large slender fingers in your comparatively smaller ones that were covered under his for the most part.

You produce a small ebony box in your other hand, fiddling with it to open and remove the larger ring of the two. They showed comical difference.

His smirk widened making him look as sinister as always (but it's just him being entertained at your whimsical antics) when you were busy slipping the ring into his finger, which fit perfectly

You admire it for few seconds then toss his hand at him and exhale.

“ It's tacky ” he comments examining it, mainly to gauge a reaction, “ just like you ”

“ Oh yea? you are with that tacky person ” you beam in mock innocence, shoving the ring to your own finger, “ Not really in a place to complain now, are you? ”

He chuckled, or so you assume whatever that guttural noise was, that made your eye twitch in ire.

Oh the work to get this moron to do something, you swear! You get up, only to get yanked back by your bicep. The back of your head hits his chest as you fall back, half of your body on his.

You hold your head throwing him an aggravated, “ What.”

He stares and stares studying your face then, “ Nothing ” he says and loosens his hold on you. You get up glaring daggers at him then leave huffing.

Gitae watches you leave with a twisted smile you didn't stay to notice unfortunately. One of those smiles he has reserved for his possessions.

That twisted smile deepens as he rubed the ring.

Oh how silly of you to dig a grave for yourself. Crawling closer and closer to your cage. Don't worry though, he'll make sure your cage is the most beautiful.

[mixingandmelting]

Ok so there comes a time in every relationship where your partner annoys you and then you have to decide if staying with them is worth it cuz you love them more than the person’s flaws? Now for the batboys, what normal annoying things from their partner do you think would annoy them? And on the flip side, what do you think the bat boys would do to annoy their partner without meaning too? (Example: One of the things about Dick is that he has organised mess and he gets incredibly stressed out if someone moves his stuff around without telling him. It’s as basic as his shoes being cleaned and placed a couple of feet in the open from where they were for him without telling him, he feels like an asshole and apologises after once he cools down, but this actually upsets him in canon comics.) (for example for reader: it can be he has an annoying sneeze that goes through you when you sit next to him)?

His Pet Peeve vs His Bad Habit

A/N: Ended up making this somewhat a two-part post since let's be real, all of them would be guilty with crashing unannounced which i posted here😂

Dick:

Pet peeve that you do: touching his stuff

Others have said he's terrible at putting things away, he simply calls it an organizational mess. It works for him so why should it matter to anyone else? 

Can’t handle anyone moving his things. Absolutely, genuinely, no matter who it is

Called and texted you multiple times before over this whether it’s his shoes being placed a few inches away where he usually places them, his cereal boxes in the wrong order compared to how he usually has them placed

“Where are my keys? What? Why would you place them in my desk’s drawer? They belong on the couch-”

There are reasons why he placed things the way they are. It’s not hard to not touch and leave them be

Vents out his frustration and irritation but never to the point of crossing the line since you only move things when you’re helping him out with cleaning his place out especially if he neglects doing some house chores ( laundry, dishes, making his bed, everything)

Bad habit that annoys you: naming things after his vigilante code name

He’s known to be witty and charming with his word play, most of the time being cute or funny. But when it comes to naming, in general, it’s a mess

The name he gave to his boat, motorcycle, car, and weapons are of the following: boat wing, wing cycle, nightbird, wing dings. Yes, this is all canon and it should be telling how great his naming senses are

You swore and even made a bet against his friends that he was the one to give the name Bitewing to the cute pitbull. You later called Tim and Babs to express your disappointment towards them, saying they knew better 

You tried not to shed a tear from how proud you were for Dick to name Bitewing with a reasonable and normal civilian name: Haley. It wasn’t Nugget or Gray - it was an actual memorable and good name

Begged him to not have the plane he planned to have either “night” or “wing”. No Wing Plane, no Night Flight, please. Something normal. He never listens and goes it for it in the end

Jason:

Pet peeve that you do: Incorrect grammar and messes

He’s special because he has two: incorrect grammar usage and his place being messy

Unlike Dick who hates people touching his stuff in general, Jason’s more keeping his space clean

Seriously, anyone who breaks into his room should know how meticulous he is, where even his weapons are hanging on the walls in fancy oak wood frames with red velvet cushioning underneath for aesthetics

He’s gentle but looks like a cherry when he reminds you to make sure you’re not leaving your laundry on the ground or used napkins on the table - like there’s a dirty hamper and trash can for a reason and it’s not for decoration

Irritates him to no end when people misuse words and grammar where he’ll annoy the other person until the correct it including you

Yes he will do the cliche can vs may (“Can you? As in are you able to? Or may you as in you need permission”), use asterisks below your text with the correct word because if it annoys you think about how he feels when you make those errors

Bad habit that annoys you: Messy eater

With him being a fan of eating hand-held foods, favorite being hot dogs and ice cream, he frequently gets food stains on his clothes

Slouches on his chair or couch, ketchup slipping off and onto his shirt and munching without a care while you’re staring at the guy who’s also a clean freak regarding his private space

Lost track how many shirts he ruined, annoying you and himself 

Though sometimes it was appreciated when he’d get up and take off his shirt to wash out the fresh, new stain at the kitchen sink ;)

But most times you threaten to get him a bib or be those pretentious, stereotypical rich people where they stuff a corner of their napkin into their shirts while shaking the numerous shirts you had to wash in a single week

Tim:

Pet peeve that you do: not following directions

He already gets agitated and stressed when no one follows the plans he spent three weeks perfecting without sleep. What makes you think he won’t be the same when you don’t read the package inserts or the directions?

Most of the time everything goes smoothly when reading them. And do you know how much time it must’ve taken to write the instructions while considering all the people they’re selling their product to?

He does admit a some are BS and make no sense

Doesn’t express his annoyance and instead stays on the sidelines, slurping from his can of Monster and lets you do your own thing knowing you’re going to fail. Then once you do and get frustrated as to why nothing is working, he rubs it in how you should’ve read the instructions

“You sure that’s right? It says here you need to insert that part first.” “I know what I’m doing Tim, I’ve done it a thousand times.” Cue the Ikea frame falling. “Maybe you should’ve read the package insert.” “Shut up.” 

Bad habit that annoys you: Napping locations

Where he takes his naps is just as bad as his caffeine consumption and lack of sleep in general

When he’s tired, like really tired, he can sleep anywhere. In the classroom, in the conference room, on the floor of the living room

You found him sleeping on the kitchen table once. As in his whole body lying on the table. How and why neither of you know other than Tim remembering he wanted to rest his head on the table

You’ve begged him so many times to nap on the bed or couch out of concern he was going to get hurt

He still doesn’t listen so you started a collection of taking pictures of the oddest places he sleeps at and on, proceeding by sending them to the group chat. It does work but only for a while since he’ll end up falling asleep after not sleeping for another whole week

Duke:

Pet peeve that you do: common sense

When leaving the room, turn the lights off. When done washing your hands, turn the faucet off. In other words, common sense

He really doesn’t get how it’s so hard to do just that. It should be natural, automatic response

After becoming a full time vigilantes, the bigger things he scratches up as the per usual daily problems but it’s the little things that get to him

Found you reading in the dark once without having the lights on before. He went on about vision impairment after flicking the switch up. He wasn’t amused when you joked how he could’ve sat next to you so you’d get both a reading lamp and body-sized pillow

Don’t get him started with dishes and how they should’ve been washed after a meal not leaving them in the sink for who knows how long

Also cereal. He believes it’s cereal first then milk, reasoning you can control the amount and ratio of cereal to milk 

Bad habit that annoys you: biting pencils 

Does it whenever he’s thinking about something deeply but can’t solve the issue

Whether it’s working on a plan, trying to figure out a case, doing homework

Problem is pencil paint isn’t all that healthy or safe to consume. Also having a pencil have smell like one’s breath isn’t that appealing 

Doesn’t matter what part of the pencil though there seems to be actual indents near the eraser end which once made you asked if a pencil tastes good

You’ve gotten him mechanical pencils and eraser toppers. Somewhat worked only for him to go back using his usual wooden pencils and bite them again

Tries to stop after you went on how harmful biting pencils are, still finds himself doing it time-to-time

Damian:

Pet peeve you do: calling him short

Don’t ever bring it up. Don’t ever mention it. He. Is. Not. Short

Height is not everything when it comes to crime fighting. Skills, abilities, and strategy beats pure physical prowess

He���s not the shortest either. He’s still growing. Drake is only 5’7” at his current age while Todd was 4’6” when he was Robin. Being  5’4” is a perfectly, acceptable height

This also includes all synonyms and phrases. Tiny, small, fun sized. His personality coming from the fact shorter people are closer to hell- 

He fumes and bursts whenever it happens. Literally will get ready wage a battle of a lifetime 

Whenever you do it, he gives you hell by pranking you in every way until you wave the white flag and admit you’re wrong. Usually that never happens and the adults end up having to step in to get both of you two stop

Bad habit that annoys you: tongue clicking

Does it to express so many emotions, so it gets confusing as to why he clicked his tongue without the full context

It could be from annoyance, dissatisfaction, or disagreement. At least you know it’s used for a negative response

Not as bad when he does it because he got stumped since then you’re just smug and getting to gloat you were right while he scowls back

But when he does it to avoid answering you out right or when he refuses to agree- like come on, use your words not onomatopoeia

Ask him if he’s doing it because he’s sulking and it gets him to stop only for it happen again as it’s part of his habit

Cue another reason for a childish war between the two of you where one has to one-up the other

[queervegancryptid]

Joker and I agree on one thing, I guess.

Following you and a couple other people on here has made it clear that I really need to read more comics. As a kid, I was raised in a rural area by conservative parents. Not outright abusive, mostly, but definitely not people I could be myself around, and basically anytime I was enthusiastic about something, people gave me shit for it. So if childhood was an exercise in learning to hide in plain sight in order to survive, adulthood for me has been a journey of letting myself be myself and explore stuff I wasn't allowed to explore as a kid.

It's also been a journey of realizing how much the adults in my life fully failed me as a kid. I only really understood how much their shit affected me when I first really felt loved and accepted by someone, without having to hide, and that didn't happen until I was past 30. Now that I'm able to start making moves to sort my shit out, the Orange Menace is being sworn in, so there are about to be more forces than ever invested in keeping me miserable and beaten down.

So in a very real sense, I'm scared about what's happening politically. I'm angry, too, for obvious reasons, many of which are not personal to me. I don't have to be an undocumented immigrant to think they should be treated with basic human decency, for example. I don't have to be Jewish to be horrified by people chanting shit about them. I don't have to be a target at all to give a fuck, but I'm trans, so I have the distinction of being labeled a problem and the knowledge that I'm in one of the last groups that will be defended when shit hits the fan.

But I am angry and frankly annoyed for personal reasons. And one of those reasons is that I spent my life hiding and trying to be acceptable, and when it didn't work, I thought it was my fault. I'm not perfect, but I feel like the deck was stacked against me from the start, and making it my fault was just one big scam to keep me complacent. I'm annoyed that it fucking worked so well and for so long.

The annoyance also comes from the fact that these people are living rent-free in my head and controlling so much of my life. But that's part of how they make you feel helpless, you know? You focus on all the weight they're throwing around, and you get overwhelmed by the brutality and cruelty of it all, and you feel so exhausted that you start to wonder what the hell the point even is of talking about it.

But that's what they want. I've survived out of spite before, and I'll do it again. The last thing they want is for people like you and me to enjoy anything in life and find reasons to keep going, which is exactly why you have to keep finding reasons wherever you can, in whatever form they take. So I'm going to enjoy what I enjoy and explore what I want to explore, because finding some kind of joy and good in the world when and where I can is the only way I'm going to survive all the things that are coming.

Thank you for existing, by the way. Sorry I wrote a book on here. I'm going through some stuff, as you might have guessed lol

🚨WATCH: Donald Trump and JD Vance mockingly laugh at the National Prayer Service when the National Cathedral Bishop proclaims "let us pray for the most vulnerable."

These monsters are the antethesis of what Jesus preached.

[karizard-ao3]

If you made a teen pregnancy fic how would it go?

Since I get to pick, I choose Ranma and Akane for this one, because even though it is FAR less likely that Ranma would, of his own accord, be able to work up the courage to even kiss Akane, let alone knock her up, any time before his 21st birthday, his world is rife with magical charms and nefarious potions etc, so there is no reason that he and Akane couldn't both, through a comic series of errors, both ingest some inhibition inhibiting bon bons one night while they are alone at the dojo (perhaps Genma purchased them for Nodoka, who won't give him the time of day now that she has her son back), and, thanks to their effects, one thing leads to another and they declare their love and then consummate their relationship. They wake up the next morning back to their old selves and wildly embarrassed. They can't even look at each other. Ranma is beet red and runs away every time Akane tries to talk to him about what happened because he thinks she'll be mad at him, but him avoiding her hurts her feelings, and then it hurts her feelings even more when he finally gets brave enough to apologize and makes it sounds like he regrets it.

By the time their families return from wherever they were, Ranma and Akane are in what appears to be a run of the mill fight, so no one thinks that much about it.

They sort of make up and individually resolve to ignore what happened until a few weeks later when Akane realizes she's late (maybe she and Ranko are synced up? Or would Ranma only have the outer female sex organs but not a uterus? How thoroughly does the curse affect his insides? I guess it doesn't matter since he's not the one pregnant - although imagine an AU where Akane falls in the Spring of Drowned Boy... Oh, the gender bending hijinks).

Anyway, her period is late. She skulks off to get a pregnancy test. It's positive. She freaks out. Now she's mad at Ranma again. He corners and demands to know what he did this time. She shows him the test. He doesn't know what it means. She has to explain, and then he goes white as a sheet. Falls all over himself apologizing, promises to marry her. She is like, "No, thank you! I won't be have you marrying me out of obligation" which makes him super mad because he takes it as a rejection. It's a whole thing.

They try to hide it while they figure out what to do and how to tell their families, but Nodoka sniffs them out almost right away. You know how she is. She pulls Akane aside and asks if she is pregnant and, a little coldly, who the father is. Akane says it's Ranma and Nodoka is ecstatic. Starts tearing up and saying how her boy is a man among men because he ruined a young girl's future by getting her pregnant out of wedlock. You know how she is.

She scampers off to tell the rest of the family.

And thus, the secret is out.

The rest of the fic would be them dealing with becoming young parents, discussing whether they want to keep the baby (they do), and Ranma sorting out all his various suitors so he can show Akane that he is really serious about making it work with her when he finally tries proposing again. Maybe this isn't the order he would have picked to do things in, but he's a School of Anything Goes Martial Artist. He can roll with the punches.

I'm sure there will be all kinds of shit going on. The other girls won't take it well, and Ryoga will for sure try to kill Ranma. Kuno also will probably try to start some shit.

But, in the end, they have their baby and Nodoka babysits for them so they can go to school and Ranma and Akane make absolutely certain that Genma never, ever, under any circumstances takes the baby away to train. He is probably not allowed alone with the baby at all. But, he's a bit better as a grandpa/ panda, so they don't have to worry.

[blacleria]

Hey everyone!

Recently I had the thought that I want to share more about my thoughts and drawing process here, as I really really like this little Sirius obsessed community. Maybe no one is interested in what I am writing here, but actually, that is not so important to me. I just feel like sharing some of my thoughts.

Currently, I am a bit struggling with my art style. I have a realistic style for… almost… 20 years now?! (my first attempts in drawing realistic portraits were horrendous of course and… not so realistic of course😅)

I especially love painting portraits. I am still so fascinated of painting human skin (I even wrote my diploma abut painting skin in art history 😆), and painting eyes. In addition, it is so crazy to see my own ideas and thoughts about characters and their appearances come to life. It’s like extracting my dreams from my brain to paper 😆

And yet… I think something is missing. For me, expressing emotions is another very important (very very important) part of drawing a good portrait. I would not say I can’t paint them, but I still think… it could be more. More intense, more realistic, more, I don’t know…  more convincing, perhaps? I can’t exactly lay my finger on it.

My second problem is, and this is even worse, realistic paintings are reaaaaaally time-consuming. Really. I also want to be a professional illustrator one day, and this is quite a problem, because this means I eventually will have even less time in future for my Sirius works. However, I really don’t want to abandon them 😭Aaaaand I still have so many ideas… there are so many Harry/Sirius moments in my head I want to depict. 😭

Soooo recently I am practicing a simpler style. I really suck at this :’D On the one hand it feels like I am doing baby steps, which is really frustrating for me. On the other hand, I am quite happy I am learning something new! And it feels like a crazy journey, because I don’t exactly know which direction to go. Comic style? Very stylized? Semi-realistic? Stick to my realistic style? The possibilities are eeendless. I also don’t want to abandon my realistic style completely, because I still love it and I feel like this is what makes my style a bit special in Sirius fandom.

So, what is all this about actually? I might, perhaps, will have a second style in future. A less realistic style, probably more linework focused. I already made some sketches, but so far, it’s nothing I want to share.

[b1asho]

Erm, oc comic? Just click on the images idk how to change the image position formatting here yet :(

This is what I've been doing all this time, I need to practice putting these things together. I like some things and had fun, but it also looks kind of yucky.

Oh well

Featured here are Rinshi, a muttreazik, and their boss/sister Maro, a Sundyne who's been (violently) ousted from her extremely politically important clan (for terrorism and attempted assassination :D )

The two are hiding from authorities in the SEZ, and not having a great time in general.

Here's a buncha other info, aka i want to talk about my wretched ocs :

-Rinshi is a mancer, meaning they're a muttreazik with a degree of control over matter around them (think telekinesis). Their blue eyes aren't the result of my choice of coloring, thats the color they are all the time (a highly highly unusual color for muttreazik, even in the 'other' color category).

Rinshi is also a 'they' in the same way you'd call an animal an 'it' rather than a 'he' or 'she' if that makes sense. They don't think of themself as nonbibary in the human sense, instead it's more of an "outside of the binary and therefore a nonperson" way that Cerest use for xenos. It's the only option that's not male/female/he/she that they're aware of in this point in their life

Maro is a she (and VERY upset that it means she can't ascend to God emperor)

Rinshi is hunting with a nail that they’re controlling with their mind because that’s a lot easier than chasing down the alien rats yourself.

Normally this would be very easy for them but they’re kind of going through it right now, thus the major space-out and eye-bleed at the end (which normally happens to mancers who either overextend themselves or try to do stuff without any energy support from the body)

Not all Cerest-homeplanet animals have a decentralized nervous system like Cerest themselves do (such as these two animals, who have all their thinking meat in their head), but either way a shard of metal through the face isn’t good for anything

There are pockets of Cerest wildlife in the SEZ if you look for them hard enough, which Rinshi has to do because they’re currently in the outer reaches of it away from any inhabited districts where you could just buy/steal meat products. They're spending a considerable amount of time doing this since they're trying to keep a large hypercarnivore alive right now.

Maro got her face and torso cut up pretty bad during her.uh. Incident. Luckily Cerest heal fast, though infection and only eating rats has complicated and prolonged things. They’re currently living in an old habitat pod, which she can hardly leave thanks to the healing process (which has left her pretty much unable to walk. If she could, she'd definitely be the one doing the hunting because she has fewer qualms about killing things than rinshi does.)

This conversation is pretty out of character for her, but like she said, it's boring spending most of your time asleep in a garbage heap rather than pursuing your ambitions of ruling the world. Thankfully, she can always just ask her trusty retainer about things they don’t want to talk about.

‘et kerusit’ is just the Cerest version of like ‘my liege’ but specifically in the Sundyne female context and specifically for someone in Maro’s (former) rank/position in her (former) clan. "Princess" is also a pretty close analog but neither really sounded right so I made up some words. "Retainer” is the closest word I could find for what Rinshi is to Maro, and it fits fairly well (there is probably a better word out there but i like the old-timey knight vibe) they were originally employed to her clan as basically her little assistant and mandatory friend/bodygaurd/ally/etc. This happened mostly as an insult to her because that role should normally fall to a fellow sundyne and not a 'lesser species', but she has made it work.

I'm still testing this out but the Cerest language conventions are also why the question marks are out front most of the time, they don't change tone to indicate a question and instead just say an "I'm asking you a question" word at the start.

Rinshi also has a sort of stutter no matter what language they're speaking, with different words and sounds causing prolongations or repetitions. They didn't have any kind of support for the issue growing up, so theyre not great at managing it. So that's why some of their words are like that

The aforementioned rank difference is also why Maro gets 2 << instead of 1 when speaking (she's using a different enunciation of words to indicate her status, as is Rinshi. Basically ï for royalty i for commoner, or something. If they were speaking a Drecu dialect rather than a Sundyne one, their words would be in these things -> [[ ) .

As I’ve mentioned up there, they see each other more like siblings in their own mini clan (but she definitely calls the shots in their relationship )

Muttreazik think rebirth is real and they’re kind of right (at least within their own species). Rinshi does NOT want to dwell on where they used to live but those ideas were drilled in at a very young age.

[paulgadzikowski]

When the story broke last summer these were my thoughts:

"I don’t feel that the news requires reevaluation of the fans’ relationship with his works the way reevaulation of works has been required with the other creators whose works I’ve reevaluated The Hero of Three Faces’ relationship with. The questionable and harmful actions in this author’s personal life haven’t translated into questionable and harmful actions in his professional life against fellow professionals as in the case with Joss Whedon; and they certainly haven’t translated into a national hate campaign as in the case with J.K. Rowling.

"I haven’t gone so far as to remove the Harry Potter or Firefly comic strips from the Three Faces archives but I’ve resolved not to draw any more, and I’ve restricted existing ones from being reprinted at Tumblr, except the Firefly strip about slavery which is a reaction to the horrors. Pending further, more dire revelations I don’t intend to restrict Good Omens, Sandman, etc. from normal Three Faces interaction and I expect to watch Good Omens season three when it debuts, assuming it still gets made*."

And there have been a few Good Omens cartoons at The Hero of Three Faces since then. Crowley is not dealing with Aziraphale's ascension in a healthy manner.

* It's been announced that there'll be a 90 minute movie, with no involvement from NG, instead of a full third season

Fanfic writers, take a breath…

I’ve seen many posts over the last week in which NG-property-adjacent fanfic writers stated they’ll delete all their fics, from either Tumblr, Ao3 or both. And my heart honestly broke a little.

I’ll preface this with: I’m not telling anyone how to process their grief, anger and disappointment, and these are valid decisions. But I’d urge people to at least take a moment before they hit the nuclear option and delete everything without any chance of recovery.

These works come from your minds, derivative of (or inspired by) another work or not. You wrote them, not NG. They are your creative brainchild. You created a world that was yours.

Heck, the majority of fanfics (especially AUs) are so far removed from the original works that you could probably file the serial numbers off and turn them into OC fics, because that’s what they often are anyway if you look very closely.

If you can’t look at them right now without feeling bad, at least make sure you have saved them someplace other than Tumblr or Ao3. Lock those files away, let them rest. Now or forever. But I’d strongly suggest never to delete your creative works because the person who inspired them is horrible. Again: These works came from your minds, not his. And once they’re gone, that’s it.

You don’t need to make any decision right now, when everything is so fresh. I’m sort of old and from a generation that didn’t grow up under the premise of, “post about it or it didn’t happen.” Don’t let peer pressure to do “the right thing” get the better of you. You have time. You can make these decisions without rushing into them. Away from online spaces…

[starwarskawaii]

Annoyance and Empanadas Pt. 2

A Miguel O'Hara fic

A/N: In which I make yet another self-insert fic. This will probably be a series. If I make a couple other disabled folks and Miguel-actually-has-a-personality-not-just-a-hot-body understanders happy, it's all worth it.

edit: Just a warning, this one is longer

CW: Reader is implied again to be autistic, or just awkward as hell, 2099 cursing, more mentions of chronic pain, mentions of past hurt due to disability for reader, reader has a brother, reader has a niece, brief suggestive content, still pretty PG, one use of damn, pretty much same content as last one, tone is a little more serious than pt 1

Miguel stepped into your apartment with you. Your messy apartment. Shock, how did you live like this?! There were blankets everywhere, you never made your bed (a complete waste of time, you had no one to impress), your laundry was permanently overflowing (how did you own this much clothing?!), there were figures and dolls and knick knacks absolutely everywhere, books stacked haphazardly on shelves in an attempt to make them all fit, comics tucked in between, fan art on the walls... There was so much sensory input he almost felt dizzy.

You flopped down on the couch, somehow hitting your leg with a forearm crutch on the way down. Only you. You tossed the aids aside and Miguel picked them up off of the ground and leaned them against the doorway. You almost never used aids inside your apartment unless it was a bad day. Better to fall at home than in front of a bunch of strangers, was your reasoning. Miguel did not agree with your reasoning. Miguel kind of wondered how you had managed to stay alive before him.

As you cozied up on the couch, Miguel began to make your empanadas. Beef and cheese, your favorite. You never had a taste for the chicken. Admittedly, neither had he, so this suited him just fine. You two had fallen into a sort of routine. Monday through Friday you worked your normal job, and he would come by after you got home to cook with you and help with all the things you would never ask him to go out of his way for but needed, and Saturday you would spend the day at the Spider Society, helping Miguel map out Spider's lives. He used to work extremely long hours, since most other Spiders would have to go home, and he technically already was home. But since you came into his life, he had finally learned to delegate more.

Today was Saturday. You loved Saturdays, and so did Miguel, though neither of you had ever actually told the other. Maybe, Miguel thought, maybe it was time to tell you. He knew you were attracted to him, physically at least. He knew you cared about him. He just wasn't sure if you loved him like he loved you. But something in him as he made those empanadas and reflected on your routines together made him realize that those feelings, the ones he wasn't sure whether they were gratitude or love, were absolutely love.

You sat on the couch, holding a plush and willing yourself to get out of your uncomfortable day clothes and into something that didn't make you want to scream. Miguel had seemed so uncomfortable with you being in your pajamas the first time he saw it. You weren't really sure why, bodies are just bodies, right? Maybe because he was such an awkward nerd? He couldn't be attracted to you, could he? Not back then, anyways. He called you "hermosa" now. Seemingly platonically? You really weren't sure. You're not exactly great with social cues, even after years of practice. Plus, you're a disabled woman. What man wants that? Who signs up for a lifetime of their partner never being able to give them what a normal woman can? You weren't even sure if you could have kids with all the unknowns with your health. Not to mention that Miguel and you were from different universes. You were pretty sure he wanted to have kids again. How would that even work? How would any of it work?

Back in the kitchen, Miguel wondered many of the same things you did. How would it work? How could it work? Did you even want him? Your parents were long past too far gone to help you, having disabilities of their own, and no one else around you had even tried to. If he made this awkward, you might feel like you had to part ways with the one person who was caring for you. He didn't want that. Still. You were always so mature. You were friends with people who you had crushed on who had rejected you. Why wouldn't you do the same for him? And he was a genius who invented multiversal travel, who said he couldn't figure out how to make an interdimensional relationship work? In some ways, you two already did. That settled it. He had resolved to tell you.

You changed into an oversized nightgown, with soft seams. You had cleaned up some of the blankets you left out along your way to your room. You knew Miguel hated messes. The blankets were still out from having your niece over a few days ago for a sleepover. You pondered whether you should tell Miguel how you felt, more explicitly than the hints you had been dropping. He was so dense... You hated pursuing, it gave the other person too much power. And you were already permanently stuck in a power imbalance with any and every man you meet. Disability put you at a permanent disadvantage in relationships. You had a very pesky genuine need for a partner. You thought about your family, your brother, your niece, your parents... How would they feel about all this? How could you even tell them about it all?

You entered the kitchen and Miguel turned around to tell you the food was almost ready. His heart stopped. Somehow you looked even more beautiful than usual, wearing the same ratty nightgown that you refused to get rid of, believing that you were doing your part for the environment by wearing it until it was scraps. Something about knowing that he loved you made him love looking at you even more.

"Miguel?" you questioned, seeing the strange look on his face. "You alright there, love?"

"Do you call everyone love?" Miguel blurted it out before he even realized what he was saying. Shock. Shockity shocking shock.

"I mean, only people I care about, but I suppose I call a lot of people love, why do you ask?" you raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was going to lecture you on proper coworker etiquette (as if you two weren't past that point), make some smart mouth comment, or finally address your flirting. The possibility of the last one made your heart nearly stop. Half the reason you flirted was because Miguel would never pick up on it.

"I think I love you"

"What?"

"I mean I know I do. I mean... We've been close friends all this time, and you're the only person I have ever been able to just be open with and... Shock, this is coming out all wrong."

"Migs," you said tenderly, as if you were approaching a wounded animal (which you basically were, he is half spider). "I love you too"

"You do?"

"Well duh, your smart mouth and endless brooding isn't easy to put up with without rose colored glasses." Love did not dull your sharp tongue. Not even a little. Poor Miguel. You were still very annoying. No matter how much he loved you. "Can you handle being a relationship with me, though?"

"What do you mean, cariño?"

"I mean I have a broken brain and body. The stuff you do for me after work will become a full-time job. I am a full-time job. I am so much work... And I haven't been worth it for anyone yet." You hated saying it out loud. You believed Miguel loved you. But you also believed that loving someone didn't mean you could love them well. You had to be sure Miguel knew what he was signing up for, because you loved him. You wanted him to be happy with you. The real you. The 24/7 broken brain and body having you.

Miguel leaned over and kissed you gently on the forehead. Somehow, you knew exactly what the gesture meant. You knew your Miguel. You knew all his buttons, you knew his story, you knew his heart. You knew you had it, in spite of whatever was broken with you. He knew he was signing up for a life of doctor's appointments and medication issues and flare ups and wheelchairs and fighting your insurance company. And he didn't care. He did it all already, and he loved it, because it was for you.

"I can handle you amor" Miguel spoke after what felt like a perfect, peaceful lifetime of just staying close to you after the kiss. "You are so worth it. Worth every single trial that comes our way"

"I'm surprised you told me. I'm surprised you didn't catastrophize the idea of being with me in your head until you were convinced that being within the same universe as you would kill me. Which, to be clear, it won't. Any bad things that happen are just a part of life." You reassured him. You felt a little bad for teasing him at a time like this. But he did catastrophize everything. "What about kids? I always assumed you would want more, now that you don't force yourself to carry the weight of the entire multiverse on your back and stopped blaming yourself for what happened. How would that even work, for us?"

"You want a baby with me already? Dang, looking to live out some of your fan fictions?" Miguel grinned. You glared. He stopped, and spoke "I'm honestly not sure, mi amor. I would need to run some tests, and there's your health to consider... Maybe we would adopt from your universe? We probably don't need to figure it all out now though, mi corazón."

He raised his brows at you and smiled. Just then, the timer went off for the last of the food. He made all your favorites. Whether he consciously knew or not, he was always going to tell you tonight.

"I do have one question though, on that topic. Can you... Are you even able to... Would it hurt you if we..." His voice kept trailing off. Weird. What is he- Oh. OH.

"Yes, I can do that, I'm just more limited in how. I know we're in love and all, but I strongly prefer to wait for that until much farther into the relationship. Like wedding night farther." You were bright red. Miguel had thought about that? With you? You were slightly under the impression, given the way he worked so tirelessly, that this Miguel variant was a sexless being. So much for that theory. You regained your composure a little. "Sorry, I realize that probably isn't what you were hoping I would say."

"Don't apologize, you were just honest. Besides, it's been ages since I..." His voice trailed off again. "I will be completely fine waiting for you. Anyways, we have much more important things to figure out, like how to have a cross dimensional relationship"

"And how to eat all this food you made." You added, salivating at the spread in front of you.

In front of you was elote, some cut up fresh fruit (when did he get that? You really ought to see what he's doing in your kitchen more often...), and, of course, those empanadas. You could kiss him. You should kiss him. He was yours now, wasn't he? As much as you did your best to not oversexualize him and to see him as a person when you were a fan, he still looked like THAT. You had still wanted this for so long. Gosh, you should kiss him.

You leaned over to him as he set down the food, attempting to find the best angle to meet his lips. Why did you have to fall for this damn tree? He was over a foot taller than you. A freaking tree, a very hot tree, very kissable tree, that loved you... What were you mad at again? You finally decided there was only one way to get what you wanted: asking.

"Kiss me?"

You weren't sure how this was all going to work. Probably pretty similarly to how it was now. You weren't sure how you were going to tell your family you were dating a cartoon character. But it would probably be fine. You weren't sure how life with Miguel would end up, what your family would look like. Would your family be the two of you and a cat? A kid? Just you two? In spite of all the unknowns, as he pulled you in for that kiss, you were somehow sure it would be fine.

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in this series!

[topzsun]

MISS YOU MORE

── ♡ YUU NISHINOYA

"You heave yourself up a familiar hill that you were sure didn’t take this much energy to reach before. You sit yourself down under the singular tree situated. You keep your posture polite, as if invading the space meant for someone’s ghost. When the popsicle first hits your tongue, you cry."

(i)

Most days, you can shrug off the pain that comes with missing Nishinoya Yuu.

However, when it’s especially sunny out, or you see soda-flavoured popsicles being sold in convenience stores, you are reminded. When you think of your sleepy hometown, you are reminded. When you pass by children aimlessly tossing around a volleyball, you are reminded.

His grin had been infectious. His eyes would crease at the corners and his smile lines prominent. The sun would catch the brown hues of his eyes in time for you to, in that split second, believe you were graced by the presence of a wild deity. However, Yuu is painfully human, as the next minute he bites into his popsicle too quickly and gives himself a painful pause. You can’t stifle your laughter even when he glares at you meaninglessly, because he’s still smiling even at the expense of his dignity. He used to do anything to make you laugh.

When asked, you would say you were still in contact with members of Karasuno’s Volleyball Club. It’s a gross overestimation of the ‘contact’ you still have. They are accounts sitting on your phone, still following with stories unwatched and posts unliked. You were up-to-speed with the fact that Ryuunosuke Tanaka and Kiyoko Shimizu were married. You knew Hitoka Yachi works for her mother’s design company, and that she still meets with Kei Tsukushima and Tadashi Yamaguchi based on pictures together. Asahi Azumane is a rising designer in Tokyo. Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Tobio made themselves impossible to miss, their names and photos circling the internet and live television on every sports network. The point is that you knew where everyone was, and that was a good enough connection as you can manage. You didn’t need to read the messages Yachi last sent you in 2015. You didn’t need to pay attention to the fact that there was an impromptu group meetup with a handful of alumni just a few months ago. You didn’t need to scroll through Yuu’s untouched Instagram account from a decade ago, his last photo had been a grainy and over-filtered selfie with Tanaka and Ennoshita.

Yuu had, for the most part, completely disappeared from your reach. There was the option to message someone who would know where he was, Azumane and Tanaka being the first to pop into your mind. Yet, terror fills you at the notion, an anxiety that leaves you trembling as you blearily thumbed through the interface of the social media app. You always shut your phone before your impulsive thought reached fruition, and you considered deleting the app entirely if it weren’t for the fact you found comfort in knowing where everyone is, as they simultaneously knew nothing about where you were. Most days, however, it was a rude reminder of the bottom of the rung from which you squander, and the heights they have reached since graduation.

Despite your ever-growing list of regrets, not holding onto Nishinoya Yuu had been your biggest one.

“Let’s get married,” He had said under the glow of the setting sun. The apples of his cheeks were a lovely shade of red and your heart danced in tandem with the leaves blowing past gently. The grass underneath you feels more like a cloud, and you’re lightheaded under the weight of Yuu’s declaration. Not now, you tease him, you haven’t even graduated yet. He sits up immediately, eyes wide and shining as a grin graces his lips.

“So you’re saying we can get married after I graduate?” He wiggles his eyebrows comically at you, and you bat his arm where you lay. Maybe, you had said and he followed your response with a series of kisses pressed against your heated, flustered skin while you squirm and laugh.

If you could go back to that summer evening, you wouldn’t have thought twice before following him straight to the municipal office. Anything to have him in reach, kept him where you could still love him.

(ii)

When your morning begins with the ring of your phone, you do not suspect anything out of the ordinary. Your new manager had become audaciously comfortable in abusing your number at every minor inconvenience—“The numbers just aren’t adding up” or “I have a lot on my plate, go teach the new interns”. So you wait until the fifth ring, a small act of rebellion and spite before you inevitably have to answer to a problem above your pay grade. When it’s Kiyoko Shimizu’s name that pops onto your screen, you nearly drop the device. A blurry contact photo of her Tanaka together, her contact name that is unchanged from when you were in your third year, and the way she does not call a second time. It is her, and not a cruel trick of the imagination. You count to three hundred before you hesitantly press on the call-back function. She picks up on the second ring, and her voice doesn’t burst intrusively into your speaker. Dulcet, as you remember it, with a twinge of something more merry in her tone.

She says your name in fondness and it makes your stomach sink, and when she repeats it a second time you can only nervously laugh.

“I’m sorry, I can just hardly believe it,” And that had been the truth. “It’s so good to hear from you,” You weren’t sure if you meant it. She cheekily corrects you when you tactfully greet her as Shimizu-senpai, and you pretend to be awed by her marriage and congratulate her as if the news isn’t laughably old to you. Reminiscent of old behaviours, she jumps straight to the topic after some idle talk. A reunion, she said, to get as many members of the old team together as possible. An overdue meetup. You are submerged underwater and drowning, unable to claw for air as your throat threatens to collapse. Your mind swam with possibilities, of implications, of everything that can and will go wrong. Who will be there, and what will they want to know? Your carefully crafted isolation is gone, all because you never mustered the strength to cut the last cord tying you to Miyagi. Your silence awards you with another concerned call of your name, and you manage to stammer out an excuse in half-lucidity about your work, schedule, train tickets and anything that could placate your lack of answer now. She pacifies you with a passive, understanding response before promising to check in later and hangs up. It leaves you alone with running tap water, and a glass tipped over in the sink.

(iii)

Miyagi greets you as if it had been frozen in time. You view everything from the same hazy, saturated tint as you were a teenager. The breeze feels colder, there is more life breathed into nature than the city you dwelled in, and glimpses of your memory threaten to peek as you note spots that should be familiar to you.

When your eyes scan over a certain signage, your heart sinks. From an outsider’s perspective, the idea of a convenience store overwhelming you with nostalgia sounds pathetic. Yet it is on Sakanoshita Market’s property where everything happened.

He almost forces the popsicle into your hand despite your string of protests. I owe you one, he had said in relation to last week’s cram study. Your notes saved my life, he insisted though you didn’t exactly feel too great about the fact your notes merely helped him scrape by a passing mark. You don’t rain on his parade, so you gingerly pluck the cold treat from his hand and much to your horror, he bites his own. It was like watching a snake unhinge its jaw as he finished the popsicle within two chomps. When he meets your aghast stare, he smiles cheekily. Efficient, he said and so you take extra care in enjoying the treat and he laughs at your stubbornness.

The bell above the door rings as you enter. You are almost disappointed to find that instead of Coach Ukai’s blonde head of hair, you spy a gangly-looking teenager at the counter. He had been reading something under the table, that much was obvious, but upon the alert of your arrival, he fumbles to stand up straight and shove the source of his distraction away. Whatever he finds on your face, likely no recognition of being his boss, appeases him and he relaxes all the while greeting you politely. He doesn’t bother you as you make a beeline through the aisle, stopping at the refrigerator. You pick up one cola-flavoured popsicle. The cashier boy rings it up but eyes you for a split second for your single purchase. He’s likely not used to older people buying snacks popular with school kids.

When you leave, your feet take you through the grass that cuts the street. You heave yourself up a familiar hill that you were sure didn’t take this much energy to reach before. You sit yourself down under the singular tree situated. You keep your posture polite, as if invading the space meant for someone’s ghost. When the popsicle first hits your tongue, you cry.

(iv)

Your hand hovered over the handle far longer than you wanted to admit. It was the final crossroad in which you could back out, but upon silent admission that this would render your motel costs, your nice dressing, and your taxi ride here useless, you finally push down your wave of nausea.

It’s not Kiyoko who greets you, but Tadashi Yamaguchi who had been conveniently idling near the door in wait for Tsukishima. He greets you politely, a high pitch to his voice you recognise from when he would find you before morning practice followed by the term of respect senpai. Even as your vision began to blur under the intensity of the gold lights decorating the ceiling, your attention was drawn by the pair that came to greet you. You can barely breathe when Kiyoko reaches you because she’s as beautiful as in photos, and when her arms circle around you you feel the bile rise to your throat. Too much. All too much. Yet, you muster a greeting with a smile you hoped reached your eyes, and Yachi is next to follow. She doesn’t hug you, and you don’t think you could handle it right now either, but she beams and grasps your hands without a hint of resentment in her eyes despite the fact you had essentially ghosted her all those years ago. You are led to the living room of the Tanaka household, and you manage to blearily pick up the faces of Sugawara, Sawamura and the man of the house himself, Ryuunosuke Tanaka. The teacher and the officer greet you with warm handshakes and squeezes of the shoulder, and while Tanaka has gotten up from his seat he does not go to give you affectionate greetings like the others. You were not surprised, and yet it still made you want to turn to the door and run. Your name doesn’t leave his lips like a slur, and there is no scowl on his face, and yet you know he has not forgotten. Likely none of them did, they are just better at hiding any animosity. It is when your eyes leave Tanaka’s that you finally pay attention to the other man in the room. Tears threaten to spring to your eyes when you see Asahi Azumane, even more so when the man gives you a gentle smile, but you hold back in fear of causing a scene.

“Not now, just—” You turn away from Asahi’s concerned stare as you briskly attempt to out-walk him. “Not now.”

It doesn’t take him a lick of extra effort to reach your pace, and you feel a spike of annoyance akin to blistering fire. You didn’t like this defiant show of persistence, not from somebody who is usually so gutless in the face of confrontation. You continue to ignore him despite the fact the leather straps of your school bag weigh you down like an anchor.

“This isn’t right, you know this,” He keeps his tone even and placid, even in the face of your growing rage. “He cares about you. A lot. This isn’t fair to you or him.”

You finally spin on your heel, causing the man to stumble slightly at your sudden movement. Your tears are hot, burning even, in the ducts of your eyes but you don’t dare let a single one spill. Not in front of Asahi, who will only be further vindicated that you are making all the wrong decisions. Not even for yourself, who will begin to wonder if they are making the right choice.

“It’s because I care about him that I’m doing this,” You snap and he almost flinches under the force of your voice. “I know what type of person I am. I know what I’m going to become. I can’t reciprocate the intensity of Yuu’s feelings. He deserves to have someone who gives him a high like he gives me.”

You don’t realise your heated retorts have died down to near-desperate begging, not until you're digging your nails into your skin, enough to draw blood. Asahi tries to pry your grip away, but you move before he can reach and he lets his hands fall limply to his sides.

“Don’t you dare say he deserves to be stuck with me just because he happens to care. He’ll get over it, and he’ll find someone better. I’m not ruining his life by dragging him alongside the monotony of mine,” You finally meet the brown-haired man’s gaze from when you hung your head, and your glare burns and the fire spreads. “Do you get it now?”

You are seated down, sandwiched between an almost-doting Kiyoko and frantic Yachi as snacks and conversation are passed around. You are asked the expectant questions—How are you, what are you doing, what’s changed? You answer the questions to a degree that should tame any further curiosity, though take care in leaving out unsavoury details. This was only an impulsive trip. After this, you will go home, delete their contacts and finally free yourself from Karasuno, Miyagi, Yuu and all the memories left behind.

The door opens and you suspect Ennoshita or the like to arrive, as Hinata and Kageyama already confirmed their absence due to their busy schedule. Nothing could have prepared you for when Nishinoya Yuu walked in as if he owned the place. It’s the same spiked hair that your hands used to find purchase in. The same slanted brown eyes that would make your heart quake in your chest. Worst of all, the same grin that haunted your memory. When his eyes fall on you after his loud greeting, you can feel the earth cave in.

(v)

The universe, unfortunately, did not end upon Yuu’s arrival. His gaze had quickly shifted from you to the remaining attendees in the house and the lack of acknowledgement made you feel like a first-year again, standing with your back to the gymnasium wall as your sense of person is reduced to dust in the face of much fiercer personalities. You don’t know what you had expected. He wasn’t going to kick up a fuss in the middle of a reunion, and that’s assuming he even cares about you anymore at all.

Which answer would have been more satisfactory? The one where your teenage self got what they wanted—a Yuu who has moved on and no longer cares for them? Or the one present you guiltily wished for—that he cares, that he thinks of you as often you do him, that he hasn’t gotten over you?

With the last guest’s arrival, you all are moved to the dining room, where dinner is prepared. The delectable smell wafts in the air, and excitement grows. You momentarily perk up at the prospect of a homecooked meal that wasn’t your subpar cooking, but you are immediately tense when Yuu brushes past you with a brisk “whoops, sorry.” This is a casual interaction. There is no tremor in his voice, no avoidant glances. It’s akin to two strangers passing each other on the street.

You want to go home. You want his attention. You want to run. You wish he’d say your name again.

The conversation picks up as everyone eats, and you are still kept in between the two ex-managers while Yuu sits on the opposite side but from the furthest vantage point from you. Judging by the passing glances you had gotten when he arrived, you had a feeling this seating arrangement was purposeful. You don’t tact on to the discussions but try to smile and laugh when appropriate so it doesn’t seem like there is something totally wrong with you. At least you managed to gather that Yuu is currently travelling, and you have to bite back your smile when you recall the nights he used to call you and explain his dreams of seeing the world.

Within the hour, ceramic dishes and steel utensils clink together and everyone begins to disperse with the grand idea to watch a few films together over drinks before ending this event. Tsukushima quietly gestures towards his departure with a curt explanation of morning practice when Tanaka hounds him. You realise this is also your only chance at escaping without too much awkwardness. You arm yourself with a list of excuses—sorry, I have to check out early tomorrow. I have a morning work call. I’m still a bit light-headed from the train ride.

Nobody questions you further when you say your general, tentative goodbyes along with an extra minute of gratitude for the Tanaka household’s hospitality (Ryuunosuke’s gaze even seemed to soften when you turned to thank him). You are out the door before you can make selfish eye contact with Yuu, your coat tossed over your figure as you depart with nothing but a sheepish wave.

The night chill hits you in full force, and you shiver as you quickly attempt to find warmth in the rapid friction of your palms. You are not more than just a few steps out the front lawn when your name is shouted, the syllables rolling off a familiar tongue with so much nostalgia it feels sickening. Nishinoya Yuu is broad-shouldered with a sports jacket messily pulled over his figure and calling for you as if you both are seventeen and he’s letting you know one more time that he loves you before walking his half of the way home. You pause where you stand, you let him catch up, and you let him stand close enough that you can recite every minute detail of his face. A decade wasn’t enough, you realise somberly, to shake away your utter adoration for him.

He grins and asks if you want to get popsicles in the middle of the cold. Crazily enough, you agree.

(vi)

He regaled you with stories of his travels under that tree, from when he lost his hotel keycard in São Paulo and had to spend the night on the lounge chair because the staff couldn’t replace it in time, to when had gone fishing in Colorado River and fell of his boat when he got too excitable about his catch. You couldn’t stop your laughs, and he was only encouraged to continue with an eager beam. By the time you catch your breath, you find him leaning back on his hands with a smile so earnest that it makes you feel like you are seventeen and in love again. You grow nervous when he proclaims it's your turn to fill him in on the details of your life and the peace of the moment crumbles under his expectant stare. With the way you left him and the way he’s treating you as if you didn’t break his heart all those years ago, you felt obliged to be honest.

Shuichi Toyama began as your co-worker. He didn’t enter your life in a hurricane like Yuu did, but he did leave behind a disaster once he closed the door.

He asked you out and with you having been off the dating scene since high school, you agreed with some reluctance. The first date turned out fine, better than the awkwardness you first expected, so you let him take you out for a second. Then a third. He asked you to be his, and you agreed without paying note to the premonition behind his wording (Yuu always used to brag that he belonged to you).

It was comfortable. Stable. On good days Shuichi felt like a friend, and that was your first warning that you mistook security for love. He proposed a year later during a fancy dinner date, the restaurant overflowing with patrons. When the pastry chef brought out a slice of cake, moist and carefully decorated with your name, all you could think about was the eyes on you and how much money Shuichi must have spent on this proposal. You agree and something prideful crosses your now fiance’s expression.

A few months after you are wed in a fanciful ceremony with your attire to the decorations hand-picked by your mother-in-law, the cracks in your relationship begin to show. Late arrivals home, heading straight to bed after work, no ‘good morning’ or ‘I love you’ uttered. A year later you catch him in bed with his co-worker he swore to you not to worry about. It’s a sight to see when he struggles to pull up his pants, racing after you as you lock yourself in your car. He keeps a firm grip on the handle as he pleads for you to reconsider. He’s sorry. He didn’t mean for it to happen. It was a lapse of judgement. You listen to the excuses bemused, but you can’t help the tears that sting your eyes. Time with Shuichi had been wasted time, and you could have done so much and been so much without him. Yet, your mind tracks back to Yuu. This must be how he felt when you left, and it comes with a realisation of shame that you were no better than Shuichi. When your neighbour’s young children emerge from the front door to play, you unlock your car and follow your husband back home to spare them the sight of a half-naked man begging in the driveway. Maybe this is what you deserve.

He only kept his promise for two months, then while doing the laundry you find a lipstick stain on his collar that did not belong to you. A normal person would have packed their bags and tossed the stupid shirt at him without looking back. You toss it into the washing machine and go back to the rest of your chores. You don’t bring it up even when he comes back home almost four hours late, drunk and smelling unusually floral. You tell him his food is in the oven, and head to bed.

You let the cycle run its course for another few months until he breaks a plate during an argument about one of your neighbours catching him leaving a woman’s house in the early mornings. You had yelled at him to at least keep his infidelity under warps so that you aren’t embarrassed in the process, and he screams about why you aren’t angry that he’s cheating and more concerned for your reputation. When the ceramic dish hits the kitchen floor and shatters, you go quiet and stare. He’s the one who packs his bags this time, and you don’t implore him to stay. After that, you do not see Shuichi without a lawyer and you eventually lose rights to the house and most of your savings you mistakenly put into a shared account. You quit your job with no available living accommodation and no friends whose couch you could crash on while you try to pick up the remnants of your life. You find a job in another city after several nights at a cheap motel and begin to live in a small apartment in a place unfamiliar to you. Your new job pays less, is more demanding and your coworkers don’t take to you. However, it puts a roof over your head and food on your table. Within the silence, all you can contemplate are regrets.

By the time you are finished, there is a fire in Yuu’s eyes that blaze, fraught with rage. He curses your ex-husband without sparing a breath and you have to bite back a smile because it was just like him to get angry on your behalf.

“That sounds rough, I’m so sorry,” He says quietly and despite his awkward wording, he’s practically melting in sincerity and you only shake your head. You almost wished he felt vindicated by hearing this, but that’s simply an insult to the type of person Nishinoya Yuu is. He is never happy in the face of someone else’s misery, he is earnest and sincere, and he cares for others loudly and passionately. You are free-falling, a pit in your stomach that lurches to reach your throat, weightless and doomed. The words leave you before your mind can catch up.

“From all of this, it’s just a constant reminder I fucked up the moment I left you,” His eyes widen at the sudden confession, lips pressing into a straight line as you gaze at him with glassy eyes. “Yu—Nishinoya, I’m so sorry. I know my words can never make up for my actions.”

“Don’t,” His breath leaves him in a shaky exhale as he closes his eyes, “Don’t call me Nishinoya like that. I’m always Yuu to you.”

Tears now freely roll your cheeks and you know you don’t deserve it when he reaches out to briskly wipe them away with calloused hands. They warm your face and he lets his touch linger longer than appropriate even when your sobbing has died down to quiet sniffles.

“You and I were dumb kids. Sure, back then I wanted to scream and chase you down until you changed your mind,” He moves his hand to grasp yours, intertwining your fingers together as he gives you a reassuring and tight squeeze. “But I didn’t hate you for it. I don’t think I’m able to even if I tried.”

His grin takes on a little more sheepish twinge, a contrast to a teenage Yuu who would have urged you to stop taking things so seriously and to get over it. With maturity, he has the patience to sit down and actually talk with you. However, curtness is integral to his personality so he adds on.

“Even though you’re in the habit of catastrophising everything,” His sly remark earns a look of offended bafflement from you, causing him to laugh loudly in return. He brings you to stand alongside him, tugging you from the hill and onto the street. He insists on walking you back to your motel, and promises to pick you up the following morning. Nishinoya Yuu is cementing himself into your life again. You make sure to take extra care of keeping him.