#I have now learned that question haunted her T^T

[fluffypotatey]

it seems i asked a question too close to my mother’s esteem

[flamingpudding]

Ouija Board Prompt Idea

A/N: A late night Idea that came to me instead of sleep and I wrote this down during lunch break

Danny was just in Gotham because the city spirit had asked him for assistance with a rather persistent unruly Ghost that didn't understand that this was her haunt and she did not want them there.

So when he got the notice he did his kingly duties and made sure the Ghost was no longer annoying Lady Gotham. He was the Ghost King but even he didn't want to anger a spirit as old as her. He had watched the spirit take a ghostly club and hit Clockwork the Ancient of Time with it without remorse the first time they were introduced. So yea, no messing with this one.

He had been about to portal back home when he felt a strange pull one that was close to when he got summoned but yet it didn't feel as demanding but more like a little kid pulling on his shirt hesitantly. So he checked it out…

… and came across a group of vigilantes investigating an occult side.

Invisible he watched them, curious. He used to do the teen hero stick too before the whole Ghost King business allowing him to get some semblance of a normal life with his rogues, might as well see how others to that hero stick. Besides the pull he felt appeared to come from that tall one wearing a red helmet something was up with that guy.

"Come on, ask the ghosts a question or are you too chicken to do it?"

"I will not participate in this nonsense, Red Hood."

"Come on guys it will be fun!"

"For whom? You, Spoiler?"

"RR aren't you curious?"

"We just gotta ask the board a question and if a ghost is around they will answer by moving it, right?"

"Ghosts don't exist."

Okay Danny was not taking personal offense here but he was a half ghost and he ruled the Ghost Zone filled with ecto-entities that could count as ghosts. So yes, ghosts existed. It was a simple decision then as he floated down invisible crouching next to board still invisible and out of the way from them.

Making sure he made a lot of scraping noises as he moved the small wooden piece on the board to 'YES'.

Someone yelped and someone else shrieked, though Danny wasn't sure if that was a shriek of excitement or not. He still grinned at their reactions.

"Did that just move to 'YES'! It did, didn't it!"

Yea okay that earlier was a shriek of excitement considering how that girl in purple was jumping around. Though the poor kid among them looked a little paler now, Danny decided to keep an eye on the kid to make sure he wasn't overdoing it.

"Okay so a ghost is here?"

Maybe he should have bothered listening to Lady Gotham or Tucker more about the vigilantes of Gotham. Oh well no time better as this to learn. What did the girl call this boy again, RR? Danny wondered what that stood for.

He moved the piece around the board a little making sure they noticed before he spelled something out.

"N-O-S-H-I-T-S-H-E-R-L-O-C-K. No shit Sherlock. Ha! I like this ghost!" The tall one laughed, he believed the kid called him Red Hood earlier. Well the red helmet was a great testament to that sort of code name. Still he wondered about that weird feeling he got from the guy but pushed that aside for later.

"Well since there is a ghosts, what should we ask?"

"Maybe how old he is?"

"Think it rude to ask how he died?"

Danny rolled his eyes. Those were such mainstream questions.

"B-O-R-I-N-G, 1-6 , YES. Guys it looks like we are not were imaginativ."

"Well what do you suggest we ask then?"

"I don't know! Maybe he can show us a cool trick?"

"You know that reminds me of this game that's been out for a while, phasmophobia or something like that?"

Oh Danny knew this one! Tucker had told him about the game, he himself hadn't played it but he had watched his best friend do so, they had a lot of fun joking about how the ghosts were portrayed and the tools that were available to the players.

"So what? We ask the ghost to play Hide and Seek with us?"

"Let's cease this nonsense. This is not something we should mess with."

"Oh are you scared?"

He made a show of moving the wooden piece, doing his best not to snicker out loud as he moved the piece to count down from the number 9. Letting his own powers out a little to cause the already dim light to flicker and the room to cool down several degrees.

The reaction was instant once again. Though he didn't expect them to run for hiding spaces he definitely did not expect these people to pull out their weapons and position against each other's back like they were ready for a fight. Then again they were vigilantes

The poor kid among them looked even paler. Before his count down could reach 0 he decided to not scare the poor kid more. Pulling back his powers the room's temperature normalized and the lights stopped flickering. He moved the wooden piece knowing that at least one of them was watching it in anticipation.

"J-K-S-O-R-R-Y"

"I think the ghost just apologized to us?" The RR teenager said carefully and Danny couldn't help the sheepish smile even if they couldn't see it in his invisible state.

"You know about the game?"

He moved the piece to YES.

"So you thought it was fucking appropriated to scare us like that?"

He moved the piece around and placed it back to YES before spelling out sorry again. The vigilantes shared a look and Danny decided to spell out a question.

"L-I-T-T-L-E-G-U-Y-O-K-A-Y"

"Huh? Uh yea Robin is fine." They looked confused but Danny kept his eyes on the kid. Well the poor boy still looked very pale but he also appeared to try to put on a brave front, it nearly caused a chuckle to escape the halfa.

"Can you show yourself?"

"S-U-R-E"

Not like he was really going to show himself but this was going to be fun, he thanked the Ancients that he was taking lessons with Pandora on how to manipulate his own ectoplasm. He summoned a blob of it making sure he himself was still invisible as he let the green blob be visible, forming it and making it look like a blob ghost.

The reaction was once again instant. They yelled in the chaos all he caught sounded like 'Lazarus water! Moving Lazarus Water!' Before the pale kid, Robin they said, slashed at his ectoplasm blob with his katana, essentially doing nothing to the blob of ectoplasm. The sword just went through it and Danny still holding it confused just instinctively let it reform the shape he gave it.

Danny blinked, okay now he was definitely not showing himself. "This is no a ghost but a Pit Demon!"

From the corner of the eye he saw Lady Gotham appear in the room staring at him disapprovingly and holding that ghost club she had used on Clockwork.

"I can explain, really! I was just joking with them!" He stood holding his hands up to smooth the situation, the green blob fell to the ground splashing against the Ouija Board with a loud splat. His chances of not get hit like Clockwork by Lady Gotham were becoming slimmer.

"WHO SAID THAT?!"

Shit, he hadn't used ghost speech but said that out loud.

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: ANBU

AHHHH!!!! I love ANBU fics, especially when they involve Sakura. It was such a cool concept, which was unfortunately never fully expanded upon. However, our lack of knowledge regarding the shadow corps allows for some really cool fic ideas since authors can take creative liberty on the structure and workings of the division.

In my opinion, Sakura had the most potential out of team 7 to join ANBU (at least more than Naruto). It's all about being discreet and efficient and although she wasn't strong during og, she possessed abilities that would be valuable for this. Her clever mind, chakra control, and genjutsu potential would've made her a good fit. Naruto was too flamboyant and Sasuke was too reckless and cocky, but this is just my take. However, with her new skill set from her training with Tsunade, I don't think she would be able to go down that path anymore.

Started: 2024.08.06

Last Updated: 2024.08.29

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

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Masks by mads999 || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergent || complete

1. Sakura's Inner is far more diabolical than anyone ever expected 2. Crows prove to be cruel mentors 3. Sakura comes to learn exactly how much she hates Kakashi (as well as how alike they are, in the most terrible of ways)

Kakashi is a hateful turd and Sakura is spiteful! I hate this ship and I'm not a big fan of Kakashi here, but boy is this fic good. One of the best character developments I've read for Sakura and she certainly becomes of force to be reconned with. The ANBU lore in Masks is absolutely phenomenal and I love the whole system that is put into place as it adds for some drama (lol). Also, can we talk about how awesome crow summons are????

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Five Kingdoms for the Dead - Evil Is A Relative Term || ffn || M || canon divergence || complete

After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

It's been a while since I've read Five Kingdoms for the Dead, but I just remember it being absolutely great! I'll be honest, I found a lot of the mind stuff pretty confusing at times, but it was still enjoyable. Also, some great characters are utilized in this fic such as Neji, Sai, and Itachi. Makes me really wish that we saw more of Sakura and Neji working together in Naruto since I think they compliment each other quite well.

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Trials of Change - Espoiretreves || ao3 || gen || time travel AU || complete

Haruno Sakura made a promise. Looking in the eyes of her Shisou and the reanimated Hokage, she took on the most important mission of her life. Go back in time and try to prevent the 4th Shinobi War. Now, Sakura is back to her 5-year-old body, with all the knowledge and haunting memories of the future. She vows to keep her precious people safe and stop certain events from happening, without altering the timeline too much. The trials her emotions and logic put her through have her questioning her very existence, but for the sake of peace, she has to push forward. No matter what.

Trials of Change is actually apart of a time travel series and I have to say that it is probably one of the best of the genre! Now, Sakura is not in ANBU here, but she works very closely with team Ro (Kakashi's ANBU team) and it's a huge part of the story, so I'm choosing to count it anyway. I really adore all of the worldbuilding and backstories going on here in addition to the fact that there are breaks. Yes, the story keeps moving, but there are other things going on, like playdates, and not just Sakura trying to save the world. Also, if you love Shisui then definitely check this out since he has a huge role and his and Sakura's friendship is just so precious.

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bite me and see, said the fly to the spider - MirrorImage003 || ao3 || itasaku || T || non-massacre AU || ongoing

In which Sakura is not initially a part of Team 7. In which she wears her failures like armor and brandishes her fears like her most trusted weapons. In which I do what hundreds of other authors have done before me, and rewrite Sakura's story. Non-massacre AU. Canon Divergent. Slow-burn.

After Sakura's first team, consisting of the graduating class's "expendables," dies, she joins team 7 and faces backlash along her shinobi journey. Sakura doesn't join ANBU until the later chapters so fair warning that there isn't too much content in that regards (unless it updates). Nonetheless, Sakura views ANBU as vital to her career as it offers her the highest clearance she can get. Gaining her opportunities for information her civilian-born status didn't allow her privy to.

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The Sixth Shadow - thinknicht || ao3 || kakasaku || M || canon divergent - eventual time travel AU || ongoing

No one seemed to find it odd when little Haruno Sakura threw herself smack dab in front of a Chidori and Rasengan. Not even Kakashi stopped to wonder.(He really should have.)

The story of how Sakura came to be the sixth hogake despite all of the challenges thrown her way. I especially love Sakura's drive in addition to the political aspects. However, be warned that Kakashi is an absolute HATER (in the beginning), but he gets better! The Sixth Shadow is extremely long and I only just recently got to Sakura's introduction to ANBU, so I can't say too much in that regard.

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Daughter of Fire - justjstuff || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergence || incomplete (maybe ongoing)

Sakura got up and didn’t bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier.She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn’t let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone.That was her nindo.

Sakura's growth throughout Daughter of Fire is great and realistic all while pointing out aspects from the original series which were flawed and dare I say misogynistic. I struggled a bit in the beginning to justify her abilities, but overall the story is really well done and the ANBU aspects are quite intriguing.

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cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || time travel AU || complete

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done.and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

Such a unique take on a time travel AU and Cut the Head Off the Snake executes it perfectly. Sakura decides that her first order of business is to infiltrate ROOT and that's exactly what she does. Sai, Shin, and Shisui are all great characters and team Ro is present as well. Very good!

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Flowers - Idunmy || ao3 || E || kakasaku || canon divergence || ongoing

Flowers only bloom just before they wilt When Sakura loses her fight against Ino in her Chuunin exams, she questions her ability to ever become a kunoichi, too weak to protect herself, let alone her village One wrongful promotion later and Sakura gets a second chance in the shape of a mysterious new teacher who against all odds is willing to put her faith in a young girl with potential and a willingness to fight. Or- a fix-it inspired fic where Sakura grows to be the powerhouse she was destined to become.

Flowers is a newer series (which has recent updates) and I love it! Critiques are made towards the medical ninja training, which I believe needed to be discussed and it's refreshing to see. In most ANBU fics I've read, Sakura is immediately put onto the strongest team, but here it's a bit different. She begins on a demolition squad, which not only suits her skill set quite well, but is a realistic approach to how she would be introduced to the corps. Anyway, it's one of my favorite reads at the moment and I really like where the story is going.

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names. - waterpllar || ao3 || T || gen || canon divergence || complete

There are no names or faces in ANBU. Everything is designed to be strictly formal, efficient and professional. A recently orphaned Sakura, however, learns that some regulations aren't meant to be followed, and finds a place in Team Ro after being shunned from her former teammates. (fic prompt from anon on tumblr: orphaned sakura in anbu with yamato, genma, and team ro.)

AHHHH poor Sakura. After her parents' death Sakura seeks Tsunade's help out of desperation to become useful. Under recommendation, Sakura's new goal is to make it into ANBU.

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Equinox - FM_White || ao3 || itasaku || M || anbu AU || complete

ItaSaku (Post Uchiha Massacre) AU: Climbing through the ranks of Konoha, Sakura finds herself with the invitation to join ANBU and a chance to learn from one of the most renowned and legendary ninja in the world. Despite her efforts to grow stronger however, she finds the world isn't as black and white as it looks and that some truths are easier to hide than others.

I don't remember Equinox very well, but I love most works by this author sooo. Anyway, Itachi stays in Konoha and instead it's Sasuke that goes rougue. Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru are newly joined ANBU members and all placed on a team with Itachi and things go from there.

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stars in our eyes as we dream of the heavens (the gods walk among us, sweet child, do not forget) - snickiebear || ao3 || kakasaku || T || age-swap AU || oneshot complete

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto whispered, staring at his teacher, horror plain on his face. “You’re married?” Lazily, Kakashi looked down at his gloveless hand where his ring rested, “It would appear so.”

Sakura is born in the same generation as Kakashi and turns out as a badass ANBU married to him. This is super wholesome as it's a lot of the two of them bonding with Kakashi's genin team (Sai makes three) in an effort to help them out. It's a series so you can read more of the events taking place prior to the fic.

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Anachronistic Drift  - Elesrea  || ffn || gen || T || time travel AU || incomplete

Her plan was flawless. Save Shisui. Save the world. Time-travel, Sakura-centric AU

Sakura spends years training to be sent back in time and save the world from Sasuke. She isn't in ANBU, but rather poses as one in order to keep an anonymous status on her doings both in and out of the village.

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Sakura - lilac haze || ffn/ao3 || M || minasaku || time travel AU || complete

AU. Non-Canon. Time Travel. Please see inside for full warnings. Cross posted on Ao3. On his deathbed he was granted eternal peace and place to rest for all of time. Of course that was not appealing to him. Ever unpredictable to the end he had a counter offer. One that the Sage had to consider. In which Sakura's going to have a rough time. A really rough time.

Sakura is probably one of my all time favorite fics because the emotions are just spectacular. The story is pretty heavy on ANBU and ROOT aspects, which I always enjoy, but I wouldn't say it's a major focus. However, there is an emphasis on the unfair treatment towards kunoichi. Anyway, the characterizations and storytelling are beautifully done. Please share this author some love.

Check TWs before hand!!

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Hope y'all enjoy these recs, and please feel free to send me some if you have any!!!! I really appreciate when you do :)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok no let me explain you a thing.

I can't take it. I literally can't take this moment without making a sound somewhere in the back of my throat. It's the cutest thing ever and it's this frame here that makes it.

Look, I know this is Wan. I know Wan isn't really canon and this is the preschool episode so it's even less so. But there's something in here that is an absolutely canon thing Akutagawa does.

The scene starts off with Akutagawa's typical reverence and excitement that Dazai is sitting near him. Nothing particularly notable there. But then Dazai gets excited by what's going on and Akutagawa gives him this look and I just can't take it man.

Because that's a genuinely fond look. He's happy for him. He's happy Dazai is enjoying himself.

And that's not just a Wan thing. He says along those lines to Kyouka in one of my all-time favourite BSD scenes in general.

It just. I just have a lot of feelings about that. This is a guy who, we know from Heartless Cur and the beginning of Beast, has very little in the way of emotion - but when he does feel, it's rather all-encompassing, even overwhelmingly strong. Things like rage and desperation. It's raw survival instinct.

But then he has. This too.

Here's the thing. In the preschool chapter, silly as it is, Dazai is still fixated on suicide. He has the noose, just doesn't speak about it openly. So, it's probably quite rare that Dazai shows genuine enjoyment the way he did here - and that's worth that small smile.

In the main universe, Akutagawa remembers how Kyouka hated herself to the point of asking to be killed, then sees how fierce she is about defending her new life and self, and decides that he's glad for her.

It really means something to me that one of the very few relational emotions he allows himself to feel is happiness and pride on others' behalf.

It roots itself less in compassion or happiness itself and more in a sense of respect... but remember that Akutagawa hardly gives his respect easily. He gives his respect only to those he considers strong, and in nearly every battle, he finds himself disappointed. What he wants is kind of contradictory - he wants a worthy opponent, so someone who poses a strong challenge to him to prove his own worth as one who will never be weak again... and yet, when they lose against him, he's often disappointed they did not succeed or fight harder, and looks down on them.

Atsushi's motive, or what he initially thinks his motive is, is disappointing to him at first - Akutagawa believes he is trying to prove himself as worthy of living through someone else's acceptance and berates him for it. But that's... exactly what he has been doing. Later on, he continues to question Atsushi for his motives, in yet another of one of my favourite scenes.

He asks him over and over - "why?" And is not satisfied until Atsushi reveals that he's also looking to get rid of the shadow of the orphanage director that follows him like a haunting - that trauma? All that pain thrown in his face? He is fighting to overcome it. He is fighting via proof and change because Atsushi wants to live, and to not have to feel ashamed of that. And that's what it took for Akutagawa to trust him and respect him enough to transfer Rashoumon to him.

I think, on some level, Akutagawa is invested in seeing whether Atsushi will succeed in this. And I think, in spite of everything between them, he will be glad for him if he does.

I just really love this aspect to his character, because while he searches for strength in violence and power and physical skill, it means on a deeper level, he actually sees joy and resistance in the face of despair as true strength that's worth acknowledging.

I want him so badly to accept that as true strength within himself in the main timeline.

I also love it because Beast confirms that Akutagawa would do anything for his sister and I am now free to imagine Gin telling her brother all the things she was learning and how she was slowly connecting to the Black Lizard and feeling overwhelming pride for her but not really expressing that but Gin knowing that's how he felt regardless, anyways that is all

Is this even coherent anymore? Oh well.

[demonicbaby666]

Falling, So That We Rise

One shot | Marvel Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader

Genre: Angst and Comfort

Words: 1.4k+ 

Warnings: trauma alluded, maybe a sprinkle of an unhealthy attachment style

A/n: she's monologue heavy...

Everyone has shadows in their past that haunt them. No matter how hard you try to run from them, they catch up to you and swallow you whole until you’re submerged in an abyss of repressed memories. In the time spent locked away, they have mutated and learned how best to swat away feeble attacks that come in the form of denial and distraction. 

There is no easy way to win the war other than succumbing to the lulls of familiar pain and anguish while laying in bed and staring blankly at the ceiling fan, wishing that the infernal flashbacks that stole your childhood would cut you a break now you’d reached a point in your life where things seemed calmer. That is, however, not how things work. 

Similarly, other people share these mind-boggling complexities. Shutting them out and assuming they’d take it on the chin without question was not as straightforward as it seemed. Which is what you were coming to learn with each repetitive knock that echoed through the hallway. 

Five knocks seem excessive. Why five? Why not three or even two hard booming knocks? But five? 

“Let me in, or so help me,” Nat called from the other side of the door. Her voice was calm, “We both know this door can’t stop me.” 

Your loud groan ebbed from your bedroom, through the apartment, and eventually reached attentive ears. 

“Ya, ya. Now open up,” she beckoned. 

Had you believed a less-than-welcoming ‘fuck off’ would have motivated her to leave, you’d have done so. But you knew her well enough to know the two words would incentivise her more than deter her from the constant knocking that was, quite frankly, fuelling the cluster headache forming along your temples. 

The only option left was the worst one imaginable. How loathsome confrontation truly is, especially when one already knows what the outcome will intel. It was a simple solution. Cut the cord. And it was simple for one reason - surviving alone is more manageable. You never risk becoming reliant on someone that could end up breaking you. 

It made sense in your head and seemed a solid plan, that was until your fingers curled around the door handle, and you pulled it open, revealing auburn hair, emerald eyes, and a smile so fucking genuine it had you melting on the spot. 

“Good to see you’re still alive,” Nat smirked, eyes peering over your shoulder, “you going to invite me in?” 

“No,” Straight to the point. Bold? Yes. Dare it to be said, perhaps a little too bold because instantly the smile - that seems to work its way into your heart effortlessly - faded, crumpling under the wrath of your harsh and hostile tone, “I think you should go.” 

You kept a straight face, hoping that by pretending your heart was as cold as it seemed, she won’t notice how it was shattering. 

If it were anyone else, they’d have taken their leave, sensing their company wasn’t desired, and you wouldn’t have blamed them for doing so - despite the small voice in your head that repeats the same mantra, ‘If they cared, they’d fight.’ So you didn’t know what to make of her decision to keep her feet planted in the doorway. 

In truth, your puffy eyes, the bags under them, and the weight you carried on your shoulder kept her from walking away. How you still kept going, despite your tortured soul having lost so many battles against demons, she didn’t know. What she knew was it was admirable that you were still standing. It made her want to hold you tighter, kiss you harder, and love you with every morsel of her soul. She wanted to help you in every way she could, not to change you, but to surround you with everything she saw so clearly you were never given. 

“Not a chance in hell I’m leaving you like this.” she asserted. 

It was a rash move. You knew that as you tried to shut the door on her, it was the barrier you needed when it seemed like she’d sooner murder than abandon getting through to you. What you hoped would be a cut-off to the painful interaction you were enduring was anything but. Nat’s palm made firm contact with the door, halting it so swiftly it caused you to jolt. 

Being that a healthy diet wasn’t something you’d cared about made it incredibly difficult to overpower her hold on the door. It would be one sight to behold had anyone walked by and witnessed. The first thought would most likely be, ‘She’s being attacked,’ before they proceeded to excuse themselves from having to participate in any way. 

After a solid minute of battling over the door position, it stood open again, Nat staring right at you with a raised eyebrow and an accompanying smirk. God, she could be cocky when she wanted, despite the victory being magnanimously handed to her. 

In one swift action, she moved, pushing forward into the apartment and flinging you over her shoulder. The kicking and screaming that ensued was flimsy and rather pathetic; whether it was done intentionally was still debatable. 

“Nat! Put me down!” You protested, trying to hide the childlike smile - that rejected being suppressed - from your tone. 

Gently setting you down on the sofa, she crouched between your legs and placed a hand on your thigh, “You want to do this alone. I get it. But I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled softly and chuckled, “Even if you can handle all this without anyone, and believe me, I know you can. You don’t need to.” 

And maybe it’s the small details that shift the tide; the way she took such care when she reached out to tuck strands of hair behind your ear, or how she touched you like no one ever had - each caress of her fingers saying, ‘I will not harm you,’ or the way she kissed you; like it was the first and last time. Every. Single. Time. In truth, everything she’d ever done for you oozed with a kind of teeth-rotting compassion that could drive a person mad. 

And it did. Not for any other reason except that you couldn’t understand why and what she was doing with someone like you. There were no prospects, no life plan; hell, you barely knew what to expect two days from now, let alone two years. That didn’t stop her, though. She continued to look at you with so much love in her eyes the world may as well have toppled off its axis, and the astonishing thing was, plummeting into your inevitable demise had never felt better. 

The harsh truth is you are not the type of person people fall in love with. You have never been. People are intrigued, inspired, and some find themselves gripping onto you as though you were their new addiction. That’s all it ever was. The love, or what resembled it, that you’d received was always fleeting, momentary, and, dare it be said, conditional. Smile, laugh, make jokes; that sort of stuff keeps them around, but the moment emotions start to peek through the cracks, it’s always safer for them to run, and they do. 

So to be loved so fiercely and so often, even on days where you’d shut the world out, on days where the world shut you out, it was foreign. It seemed like a dream, a cruel joke the universe was playing, bidding time and waiting to deliver the final blow of opening your eyes and discovering you were right all along, that it was too good to be true. 

“Okay,” you whispered. 

“You, me, sofa, and a movie.” And that was that. No fuss, no ulterior motive, “The cure for everything.” 

She leaned forward, her face drawing closer, and despite the intimacy shared repeatedly, it still caused your heart to race faster and your palms to sweat. “You’re not allowed to push me away,” she said, staring down at you at your lips, “I hope you know that.” 

“It’s becoming painfully obvious,” you mutter, rolling your eyes - you and Nat very much aware that you weren’t annoyed in the slightest. 

“You’re stuck with me for a long time. Plus, you’re the best arm candy around.” her warm breath tickled your lips before she leaned in to place a smiled kiss on your lips. 

Unfortunately, relying on someone didn’t seem so bad anymore, and you’d be kidding yourself if you didn’t admit that it was nice to have them fight for you. You took the win. Nat wanted you, even if it was just because you made good arm candy. 

Tags: @ssa-sapphic @red1culous @7thavenger @five-bi-five-mind @auggiewritess @jenna-ortega-is-pretty17177 @kenyakimble34 @12fluffybunny12 @asensitivecookie @summoned-lust-demon | Click here to be added to my tag list

[adaze-4d4z3]

[DELETE]

Extra+rambling under cut

Me when clear all Cathy (feat: my pm oc/insert)

No but I started to cry when it got to this stage of the node and man I clicked on the thing like 30 times before clicking on the clear all Cathy. MAN I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A COOL JOKE UGHHHH. Also Cathcliff is one of my favourite PM ships now they’re just cute.

Random note but I couldn’t finish this when the 3rd part of the canto came out because my iPad kept crashing on the Vergilius node and I had to wait like 1-2 days before I was reunited with my computer to finish this so I missed out on the cleared before nerfs : ( (The moment I got home after a 8 hour flight and 2hr ride home I played through the last bit because I didn’t wanna be spoiled lol, and a lady at the airport got me sick too so I was jet lagged, tired as hell and sick but first priority was limbus lmao)

But like, seriously this canto made me spiral on this one thought. So in the canto it is explained that souls can’t like move on to actual death death because the Wuthering Heights manor is built on a stream. This stream that’s the same thing that the original seed of light project utilised to make cognito and in lobotomy corporation it’s derivatives such as enkephalin and the light/ golden boughs.

And we learn in Lob corp that cognito is pulled up through a well, likely connected to another stream of sorts. (Or is it just the bucket/ Carmen’s nerve system?) (because if it’s just that everything else here’s just invalid lmao)

So like if every branch had a well, which they would because they will have the extraction team to get more abnormalities that means there was a ‘stream’ of sorts underneath every Lob corp branch.

That means in every facility there’s just ghosts haunting the place. Everywhere. And people who died in those places even after Lob corp fell, (Aya, Yuri, the bug veterans) is also just ghosts there now???

Imagine Yuri just dying in that branch and is greeted by the ghosts of all her former co-workers and they’re just like oh cool you managed to get out but why tf did you come back or something.

But this is more interesting for the main facility, the main branch because of Enoch/ Tiphereth B and the light that happened. So Carmen and Ayin got sucked up into the light right? So what about all the other dead souls unable to go on because of the stream? Did they get sucked into the light as well? So is there just a hive mind of people up there we don’t know about? Especially for Enoch since he was a pretty big player in the script and everything. (Here’s where I shall just ramble about the little boy because I quite like the little man) If he got swooped up into the light as well what would his interaction with Carmen be like. I would think he’d just forgive her because he knew what he was getting into. But what about Ayin? Would he understand that this was for a better purpose or be angry at what he made the others (especially Lisa/ Tipherepth A) go through? And additionally would he be angry at Lisa? I pose this question because he wanted to have a purpose, a bigger reason to be living and would he view her letting him be killed (again) as something sad because he could never experience the end of the script and the result of his work/ his ‘purpose’ that he lived to create. Or would it be a little more messed up where he finds his purpose in the light, helping distort people/ gain EGO. (Mostly gain EGO as the preferable outcome, Carmen in Leviathan says something to that extent where’s it’s better for people to ignore her and develop EGO) (I think, I haven’t really read it, just watched random analyses using Leviathan for evidence) And if all the dead people in the main facility is in the light imagine what the actual hell they could do. Like that’s so many people in there.

Also if they are all in the light Tiphereph reunion isn’t impossible, but unlikely since Tiph A has gone through her character develop already :T but I want to see that. How Tiph B feels about what Tiph A did both with pushing Carmen further down depression and her decision to put him down for the sake that he didn’t have to suffer. And just how Tiph A would react to seeing/ hearing him in the light which she probably won’t think it’s a good thing he’d getting caught up with Carmen again : P

Also could the records team have something to do with this fact as well? Like does this explain how the dead are able to come back other than the time thing?

[thegamingcatmom]

Hey its the anon who got intrigued about miranda

Slowly making way through watching RE7

(Also dived in head first to just reading fanfiction, not sure if that's the right call)

(Still know very little besides like second hand info from fanfics/fan content)

Thoughts/questions on Miri the tired studhorse that came to mind randomly:

Now that MM is locked on to MC

Will she stop seeing the village girls in her chase for MC? Or with how MC is with wanting to very much nope the heck out of there, will she continue on with the village girls but still pursue MC for her use?

(Like in the off chance that MC doesn't work she's still gonna continue on doing what she do)

God it kinda gives fuckboy falls in love with one girl who knows Fboy's reputation and doesn't want any part of it

But instead it's Miri has found her perfect vessel in MC who would rather not be anywhere near her.

And then thoughts went:

MM finally has chance with MC, potential seed had taken place

MM learned how to talk/flirt with MC (made MC feel like the one or whatever)

MC falls for MM (idk if MC would fall for MM but if she does)

And then it turned sad:

But MC hears words out of context, or finds out MM still using the other Village girls (could be MM stopped after a bit cause idk genuine feelings she won't acknowledge for MC, idk if this is a MM falls for MC type thought)

(or literally village girl comes to door, MC sees from a distance the girl flirting and MM doesn't do anything so assumptions are made)

MC gets heartbroken

Somehow escapes

MC was the successful vessel for Eva but since she ran well idk Eva grows up far away and MM tries finding MC

Or

Sad

MM still tries with villagers unknown to her, her daughter who's back

(Again idk if MC could even escape or if possible)

So yeah, now my brain is kind of stuck on what ifs for miri the tired studhorse

Hey there!

Are you now? We love to hear it!

Marguerite sure does. 🕷️

How are you liking it so far? ^^

As for going straight to fanfiction: absolutely valid. I mean, there isn´t exactly a "right" or "wrong" here, really. As long as you´re having a good time, that´s all that matters. Besides, there´s lots to learn from fanfics as well when you´re looking to dive deeper into the lore of it all.

.

Now...

(I fucking love that shot of her, can yall tell?)

To say I am most pleased about this recent development (as in: Miri the Tired Studhorse seemingly haunting your waking hours) would be a severe understatement. Mission accomplished.

OKAY LISTEN-

I love your thoughts. Also because I´ve been thinking about the exact same thing. And, yknow, I think Miranda would defo continue her...affairs with those village girls. At least until she´s worked her charm so thoroughly that MC´s gonna spread those legs at the mere sight of her-

...Which means she´s gonna continue banging the village girls for quite a while, LMAO. And not necessarily because she´s trying to create Eva 2.0. No...

Listen, that woman is frustrated. AF. Like, imagine finally finding that perfect vessel, you´re SO sure of it that just being near them makes you struggle. You wanna jump their bones so badly cause you just know it´s gonna work this time, it´s meant to be. Like, Miranda firmly believes MC showing up in her village is fate or some shit, it´s gotta be, right?? MC was meant for her and only her, so that she may be filled with divine purpose that will bring forth divinity in return-

...In other words: Those village girls go from being her specimens to being her outlet cause MC wants no part of whatever-the-fuck is wrong with that village and its residents. Our girl´s gonna drive Miri nuts and someone has to pay the price. (I have a feeling it will be paid rather willingly though, thirsty bunch that they are, lmao. They´re all of us, basically.)

Miranda has to work for that one and that´s something our Birb Momma just...it just doesn´t make sense to her, yknow?? Because she is quite used to them ladies spreading their legs at the mere sight of her, tyvm.

So, to answer this part here:

...will she continue on with the village girls but still pursue MC for her use?

(Like in the off chance that MC doesn't work she's still gonna continue on doing what she do)

Yes, to all of that. But it´s more that MM´s entirely convinced MC´s the one, so the village ladies will serve as a...distraction until MC comes around basically. (I almost feel a tad bit sorry for Birb Mama. Almost.)

.

God it kinda gives fuckboy falls in love with one girl who knows Fboy's reputation and doesn't want any part of it

That´s maybe kinda perhaps exactly what this is, lmao.

(And, honestly? It sounds sexy af.)

LISTEN-

Like I said, Miri isn´t used to someone like MC. Meaning: Someone who rejects her. Like-

Excuse?

Perhaps that´s exactly why Miranda believes it´s meant to be, lol. Cause, yknow, Miranda´s a woman who seeks answers. If she doesn´t have them, she´s gonna work herself to death until she does. (I mean, have you seen that woman´s lab? There´s papers and jars scattered everywhere. She´s a messy nerd and that´s so damn sexy.)

...OR: She just goes ahead and puts her own spin on it (which sounds very likely cause bish is crazy af). Miranda seeks an explanation for MC´s sudden appearance in the village, so she promptly decides that, yes-

Surely, this must be it. Her perfect vessel. Why else should an outsider make it into the village in the first place? Why would her power (aka her charms, lol) decide to leave her right when this...innnteresting specimen enters her village? How can Miranda not see it as a sign she´s meant to pursue this newcomer? It is meant to be-

...This gif makes about as much sense here as Miranda´s train of thought, so that should tell you quite a bit about her, lel.

.

As for everything else you´ve said:

Right off the bat: If MM doesn´t want someone to leave the village, they won´t. She´ll find ways to prevent it, I´m sure...

With that said: I really like your thoughts on that, but MC leaving the village only for her/their daughter to come back and meet Miranda is highly unlikely to me. There´s no way Miranda would ever let MC leave if she believes there´s even the slightest bit of a chance to get her Eva back. So, once MC´s in, she´s not gonna get out again. Period.

...At least not until the bun´s out of the oven, if yknow what I mean. After that? Hm...we´ll see. 😏

.

.

I can defo see Miranda trying to make MC believe she harbors actual feelings for her, similar to how she made the village girls believe they´re serving a "divine purpose". (I mean, it´s not entirely a lie, if one was to ask Miranda...) Whether that´s gonna work out for her remains to be seen...

(I have my doubts, lol.)

The scenario with one of the village girls coming at Miranda like "Sooo...you wanna yknow what orrr...? *wink wink*" is also something I can defo see happening. It´s actually kinda hilarious to imagine because, in my head, MC´s probs gonna be either

pissed af and she´ll just straight up slap Miranda across the face before storming away all huffy and puffy, OR-

MC just...doesn´t care. At all.

Both cases include a Miranda who´s just this mix of "you DARE" and "wait what". Like, that woman´s not used to ANY of it - whether it´s getting slapped or being ignored.

In fact, Miranda isn´t quite sure which of those two she finds more insulting. 😤

.

As for MM falling for MC: That´s kinda the plan...I think, yes. Much, much, much further down the line.

But, seeing how it´s Mother Miranda we´re talking about, you can bet your ass nothing about that "plan" will be even remotely sane, lel. When that woman commits herself to something (or someone), she´ll do it in the most dramatic and obsessive of ways. She'll let it consume her to the point where it overshadows everything else. Anyone who crosses her path better prove their worth (likely by becoming Miri´s eyes and ears when it comes to MC), or they´ll get crushed beneath her foot like the ant she believes them to be.

...On the plus side:

Miranda is nothing if not devoted. ;3

.

.

.

FINALLY some spotlight for our fav Birb Momma! Miri deserves a lot more attention and recognition than she´s getting. Honestly, how´s there not...more? Just more?? 😤

(I think Lady D might be to blame for that, lol. She did always strive to become the favorite...)

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

[voidsentprinces]

I enjoy Jullus. Here is a character who joined the Garlean Military to protect his lands from what he was taught was the "Savages" coming to drag his friends and families away. He stuck to his guns and stood fast against rumors of Zenos's death and being possessed by the Ascians. He keeps to his values even though they are clearly flawed because that is what his family needs. And then, Zenos kills the Emperor and the Capital is razed with his family inside it. He is drenched in the colour palette of the expansion, despair. But, there is a sliver of hope, word has it the Emperor's voice can still be heard on the radiowaves. There is something still worth fighting for, he can fight against the monsters who are overrunning the capital, he can serve Garlemald and the memory of his family against the invading Savages who have finally arrived on his doorstep.

He pushes himself in the roll of a soldier, who is ignorant of the Eorzeans. But Alisaie and Alphinaud both show us how greatly they've grown. By trying to break through his indoctronation. They are the perfect candidates to break through to Jullus but they are not just bright and kind individuals. But they might also been the same age as his siblings were before their untimely demise. They carry with them, a want to aid and a hope that someday they'll break through. And slowly, overtime, going to do chore after chore. We slowly learn of Jullus and what he had gone through.

We are the Warrior of Light, the daemon who wiped out the Praetorium and many Castrums, the nightmare that haunts his fellow soldiers. But still, he sees how the people in other provinces gather around us as a legend of hope and light through the dark. And dark through radiant blight. He confides in us, warms to us, gets to know us and the twins. But he still clings harshly to his sunk cost fallacy. He still wants to do right by his nation and his family's memory. So he reluctantly arms the Twins collars and prepares for a suicidal attack on Camp Broken Glass. Only to learn that no reinforcement is coming. There is no one else to defend the nation of Garlemald. Just his skeleton crew of the remaining 1st Legion. And so, he surrenders as his own Legatus uses his blood to strengthen the remaining chain of what remains of Garlemald.

He comes face to face with Zenos and fosters his grief and rage at the Prince who caused him so much pain and suffering. And in return, he is met by apathy and indifference and a question, that had Zenos had a good reason for throwing Jullus' and so many others' lives in turmoil, if it would of justified it all? Jullus is confronted by this and sees that the atrocities were without purpose only the boredom of a man seeking to reach the Warrior of Light for a duel. It is absurd and yet it clears Jullus's mind, his last act as a soldier for the Empire is to exile the prince and denounce the Royal Family more or less. He then follows Alphinaud and Alisaie's example and turns his focus to build a brighter future for Garlemald. Welcoming their help and our aid in the coming conflict. And when we bring another exile who is closed off from the world in Zero who is beginning to open up, he offers her the same kindness and understanding as the Twins gave him. He then continues their mission by trying to convince the old rigid remaining Garlean council to see that they cannot remain closed off from the world. Something that Vrtra rekindles by opening trade with the fallen Empire now budding independent nation.

I look forward to see what they so with Garlemald. This Empire founded to sow misery and chaos by Emet-Selch's design. Now having to bear responsibility for the past sins while kindling good alliances where they can to make what little amends they can. Since they're now burnt to the wick.

Side observation: In a way, Haurchefant's hot chocolate gesture is repeated throughout the MSQ. First the cup of cocoa is given to us, then Alphinaud picks up the torch in finding a way to use it to look forward to the conflict with Nidhogg and Estinien, then we give the Garleans a cup of warm soup and a hearty song, and then Jullus offers up Buuz to Zero. Zero then offers her own power to Golbez to turn the Thirteenth around and return it to as it was before.

[drifting-cloud]

i think during the early parts of furina’s act of 500 years was when her act was absolutely perfect. like she had a job to do and she had the energy to do so. she was fooling everybody into thinking she was their beloved archon, even herself with the way she constantly has to act. i even think during that 500 year act furina had moments where she had mania, switching between moments where she deludes herself into truly thinking that she was fontaine's god or has crushing imposter syndrome that would haunt her dreams. i don’t know much about mania, but i think furina had some episodes since 500 years is a lot of time to experience a lot of things. plus, in the cutscene where furina repeats her life in a monotone routine, i definitely think furina had some of those aforementioned manic episodes.

the reason why in the archon quest furina was showing signs of susness was because she was nearing the end of her rope. 500 years, no signs of the prophecy. while she was on the stake out for this prophecy, she also investigated different possible methods to how she could stop the prophecy. then when some random outsider comes in and all the events listed in the prophecy are happening, and her own judge to be questioning her and already knew about the private investigations she was having. we see how she starts losing it by avoiding everyone and even allowed herself to personally go to poisson to mourn the dead people there when that’s logically a stupid move since she risked getting caught (and she did by said outsider). then when she finally mustered up enough courage and trust to tell the traveler the truth about everything, she is then thrust into a court trial with everyone there to witness her downfall. then came all of the stuff that happened in court with the traveler and everyone else disproving her claims.

even without the visuals, i can legit picture the amount distress furina was in. it's both pitiful and tragic in a way that she wasn't able to stop the prophecy, that everything played out in the end as exactly foretold. you can literally see the soul crushing defeat furina felt when everything she built towards was sent crashing down during the cutscene where she falls back on her chair, crying. though i haven't really studied tragedy, i think furina's tale is a textbook example of a tragedy. good thing that that tragedy swerved into a happy end with focalors, neuvillette, and the traveler fixing things up.

also, her story quest. her entire story quest was her coming to terms and bringing a close to her act. like, officially bring a close to her emotional baggage pertaining to being exposed as a human and a false god. we got all the good details involved with the release of emotions, like hearing how the people still love her despite posing as their archon, and how she brings a close to the troupe's leader's story. i feel like that entire storyline of furina witnessing this troupe's leader's legacy and learning about what happened made her somewhat relive her life. thinking about focalors and how she would power on towards the end of the prophecy. like maybe furina saw focalors in the troupe leader with how she loved the troupe and treated all of them like family. and when furina lectures the troupe near the end about how they need to get their act straight and how the troupe leader wouldn't want to see all of them fight, i think furina was also talking to/about herself as well. y'know, with focalors and everything.

furthermore, i like how the troupe leader's death contrasted furina's life story. a human who died to the primordial sea water that furina was immune to. an mortal and a former immortal.

now the ending cutscene. we all know how the ending cutscene and song of furina's story quest directly mirrors her experience. and the very end where she sacrifices herself in the play and gains a whole ass hydro vision was beautiful as shit. like that's the part where she accepted what she was, what she experienced, and i like to think that the gods rewarded her for that. for accepting the grief she's been through, the tragedy that unfolded yet still lived till the end, furina still lived and is more importantly free.

all of this might be a simple thought process and i might've been yapping for the sake of yapping, but i think everything that happened to furina is neat

[radiantlyrey]

Doctor Who Review: S1/S14E04 - 73 Yards

(Could not succinctly summarize this episode without spoilers. Review behind the cut; SPOILERS ABOUND, as usual.)

It’s hard to know what to say about this episode. It raises many questions, but offers few answers. It’s creepy and unsettling at first, until it relaxes, as its main character accepts the horror that has fallen upon her. It’s an episode of Doctor Who that the Doctor barely appears in, the first “Doctor-lite” episode in about 16 years (Series 4’s “Turn Left”). It is a story of Ruby Sunday. Not the story; not remotely. Just a story, one that may prove to be merely a haunting vignette by this season’s end. And yet it may also have more bearing on the story than we currently know. It’s a story about not knowing, about not getting answers, and it may very well be Russell T Davies’ finest episode of Doctor Who.

We know from the 2023 specials that the world of Doctor Who is now taking on a more fantastical bent. There are gods playing with the world now, and goblins creeping on the edge of things, and not everything can be explained by science. “73 Yards” is perhaps the biggest example of this so far, just from the sheer number of things it refuses to explain. We don’t know why the Doctor disappears. We don’t know why the Woman follows Ruby, nor what she says that makes people run away in fear. We don’t know why the Woman is always 73 yards away. Even the reveal that the Woman is Ruby at the end of her life raises more questions than it answers. We get no satisfaction here, no rapid-fire explanation at the climax that slots everything into sense. It is what it is. You might as well ask why Cinderella has a fairy godmother, or why the old witch thought a baby was a fair exchange for a handful of rampion. It’s a fairy story, and the only rules it has to follow are its own.

It follows its rules fairly well, too. The Woman is never any closer or farther away (until the end, anyway). Every person who speaks with her runs away in terror, and refuses to deal with Ruby in any way. While the story makes little sense in a science-fictional way, it nevertheless works when you accept that it is a fantasy. It’s internally consistent, and that’s all you really need from a fantasy story. The Woman only approaches when they must come together, for Ruby’s belief in their connection is correct; they cannot exist without each other, because they are each other. They collide at the end to finish the loop of time (or perhaps Möbius strip of time?) and lead themselves out of it before it all begins again. And so the story of Ruby Sunday continues, with this mystery left behind as a half-remembered dream.

One of the main reasons the fairy story of “73 Yards” works is because of Millie Gibson’s outstanding performance. If “Boom” was an episode-long showcase of Ncuti Gatwa’s acting abilities, then this is a showcase for Millie Gibson as an actress, made all the more stunning when you learn that this was the first episode she shot. She fully inhabits Ruby’s fear in the first part of the story, and her grief when she’s abandoned by the most important person in her life (Carla, her mother). As the episode moves forward in time, Ruby’s attitude towards her predicament changes from horror to an uneasy camaraderie, and Gibson sells that, too. You can read so much of Ruby’s desperation and hope in her face and her body language, and all of that is due to Gibson’s talent and presence. It’s hard to believe she was only 18 when she filmed this, because it’s one of the finest performances in New Who. If this is what she’s got to offer, I genuinely can’t wait to see what she does next in this role and in her career.

Gibson’s performance is a big part of what makes this episode work for me, but Russell T Davies’ script is no slouch, either. He imbues the story here with a touch of horror in the beginning, and enough intrigue to keep you glued to the screen. At the same time, he fills the episode with the fairytale logic that makes it work, even reminding us gently at the end what kind of story this is (“I could make it snow, once upon a time”). It’s the finest script he’s written for Doctor Who, right up there with “Midnight” from Series 4. But where “Midnight” is all tightly wound tension only released at the end, “73 Yards” is a mystery tinged with tragedy. Of the two, I prefer “73 Yards”, and I’m intrigued to see what place (if any) it holds in the overall story for this season.

As with every episode, there are critiques one could make about this episode. I will not be making any. This episode haunts me, as the Woman haunted Ruby. In my eyes, it is perfect, almost too perfect to look at, if that makes sense. (It took me five days to rewatch it for this review, if only because its little tragedies hit too close to home to be cathartic.) I find the mysteries we’re presented with here to be a feature, not a bug. I do not demand answers, though it’s possible we will get them. I will be content if “73 Yards” remains a sorrowful side-plot in the story of Ruby Sunday. It was a story well-worth telling, and it will sit in my heart forever.

[dairy-farmer]

Back at it again with my dropping Ficlet propts/question/thingies in you ask booooox~

But! Here we are! And consider~ what do you get when you combine Tim Puss (delightful) with Bat independence and paranoia(not delightful) AND that good, good Wayne CEO type money?

A "streamlined" sex process! "Efficiency", if you will! Letting OTHER PEOPLE? See him NAKED and VULNERABLE? Not in THIS good Bat household! They could be diseased! Or reporters! Or BOTH! Might even be some convoluted scheme to knock him up by Ra's, who STILL has not let that idea go and is STILL being weird about it!

Hmmmm, yeah, no thank you! He has vigilante ass kicking to do.

Yet? He also would like The Orgasms. He USED to have Trusted Teammates for that. USED too. Things are still weird with Kon and Bart. And Cassie? No. Things are to complicated. He wants fun not FEELINGS.

So he makes do at first. Usual things. But THEN? He saves this really sweet dominatrix from the Riddler and takes her home while the others put Nygma back in jail... and??? What are THOSE? He spends like... an HOUR learning about ALL the Interesting Options that exsist out there because apparently? Her Sub works for a retailer! They get a discount.

Which? He, Timothy Drake-Wayne, will not need~

But that Sybian? Oh hell yes he will. If it works out, he might buy one for every safe house. He's a Wayne. They DO have "Fuck You" money, after all, why NOT go big? But of course... "unusual purchases" a thing that is Forever Flagged on all cards of the monetary kind~

Bruce is paranoid and also pathologically incapable of just TALKING to his kids unless someone has nearly died recently. So really... how ELSE is he supposed to feel like a part of their lives and know what they're up too? Support them?

Get THERAPY? Talk to them on the PHONE? He'd give them AND himself a heart attack. Probably die. No thank you. No, no, boundaries stomping and stalking it is. I snoop because I caaaare~ now excuse me while I check your credit cards....

Which leads him to his current problem. He sits at his computer and cold sweats. Rereads the line. May.....maybe it's for an investigation? Surely. His stoic baby boy is not... not doing The Sex...

BUT WHAT IF HE IS??! With WHO? T..This would SUGGEST-... But can he be CERTAIN?! What if it's KINKY sex!? Oh god. Tim, no! This isn't like you! ( :T ya, let's go with that Bruce. That's DEFINITELY the truth as far as Tim wants You, his Mentor, to be aware off. What is this *checks medical text book* Pe Nis, you speak off? *Bats Bambi eyes while the teammates he has 1000% slept with look on incredulously*) Who is putting you up to this?!

Bat Gasp! What if they're PRESSURING him into this? Those BASTARDS. Bruce will BREAK them! *seethes in Bat Fury* But how can he get Tim to confide in him? *begins plotting*

And it SPIRALS. Because Bruce forgets to close his " research" (stalking) meaning? Who still lives with him? That's right! Damian wanders in, wondering why his father is Losing His Shit(tm). Snoops. Goes "ha, ha, Drake needs sex toys! Wait.... what IS a... *googles* *puts dots together* *was unaware but now is SO HYPER AWARE IT PHYSICALLY HURTS* Oh. Oh No."

Because now he CANT stop imagining it? It HAUNTS him. Not just the Thought of Tim ON the device... but the ways Damian could TORMENT him with it. Conquer him with it. Tie him up and watch him fall apart. See his defiant, mulish expression crumble to teary eyed begging. Make him suck Damian. Maybe leave him there ANYWAY! A...and he could... could- *genetic AL Ghul desire to defeat your greatest rival, fuck them, then preferably put a baby in them: Unlocked*

Now of course... TWO different Bats are acting Sus. Dick notices. Bruce? Meh, it's Tuesday. But Damian too? What has transpired here? He goes digging. Can't find anything. He should ask Tim. He swings by. Maybe this could be a could chance to mend some fences, unburn a few of those bridge...s..... *gets EYEFUL* OH.

And Tim? Holy shit the motors on this thing. The WORLD could end and he wouldn't notice right then. He's making noises he'll never admit too. It's his third time TODAY. He's a MESS. Does not notice Dick buffering in the doorway. Or backing out quietly.

Dick... goes home. Calmly takes a shower. Turns off his phone. Drags out the case from beneath his bed. And goes to TOWN on himself like he's trying to break something. It was one thing to know... intellectually... but? He has NEVER wanted to pound someone in half so badly in his LIFE.

And just? The shenanigans? Bruce confronting Tim. Him managing to convince JASON there is some creep out there pressuring "straight laced little Timmy" into depraved KINKY sex he's not comfortable with ("oh if only his big strong brother Jason would saaaave him" he's probably saying, crying into his pillows, as the imagined asshole boyfriend drinks cheap beer. "I'm so sad and scaaaared. He's hurting me and no one caaaares. He's gonna put a baby in me then skip town! Has fifteen other lovers on the side!") So of course *gun noises* No Today, Satan!

Them showing up while Tim is NAKED. Dick trying to head them off. Damian there because he's TOTALLY here to help and not oggle the puss, really. No one is letting Tim up to "storm off". That's not why he wants up! He's STILL ON THE SYBIAN YOU ASSHOLES! But they keep yelling over each other and interrupting HIM until? Oops! Nother orgasm~ this time with an AUDIENCE.

It's the best and worst day of Tim's life. He's had dreams like this. But NOW? Bruce is CONVINCED. Tim is baffled. Somehow even Dick has bought into it. Apparently the crappy kinky sex boyfriend that never was... has started conditioning his body for exhibitionism? General lewdness? Tim can't get a clear answer over the outrage.

But he is informed he Does Not Need the man. Must leave him at once. He isn't treating Tim properly and people who act like this don't TRUELY love him. Not like they do.

You know what? Fuck it, thinks Tim. Who's day has been weird, sexy, unsexy, and might be Really Awesome in just a few moments. Go big or go home. Witness Me. *teary Bambi eyes* "But... but he DOES love me~ and... and I would be So Alone with out him! He's right, no one could EVER want someone like meeee~~~"

And holy shit that actually works. Thank God they're pretty, because all these men are dumb as hell. He's gonna have to invent a fake scumbag ex. Maybe lead it back to Ra's. But first? His bed room is THAT way and he is but a poor waifish thing~ in need of love and fuckies~ pay attention to him.

tim being all 'im poor sad little slut 🥺 a poor sweet little boy that just needs attention 🥺 and love 🥺 and fuckies in my pussy 🥺🥺🥺' and using it to manipulate his family because they sabotage and ruin his other opportunities to get dick is so good 😭😭😭!!!!1

[bookish-whore]

Illicit Affairs

Eris x Reader

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: slight angst, SMUT, Eris honestly being hot, petnames

A/N: Welcome to Day Two of my 1k Celebration!! I haven’t written for Eris yet but you lovely Eris blogs and shippers have inspired me. I hope I did our fire prince justice.

My Masterlist -> Here

Join my Taglist -> Here

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“Are you alright y/n?” Rhysand asked, his gentle voice combined with Feyre’s look of concern pulled me from my memories of that night.

I cleared my throat, nodding my head in answer “When will I be leaving?” I asked the high lord and lady.

“A few days from now, Az will winnow you there and Feyre and I will be your primary contacts we will be checking in with you regularly to see what information you can gather while you’re there”

“And Eris?” I questioned

“We still don’t trust him. We aren’t sure whether he is really on our side and willing to help overthrow his father or if its all a ploy to understand the weaknesses of our court, you will help make that determination with your time spent at the Forest House” Rhys said as he locked eyes with his mate, giving her shoulder a firm squeeze.

I had never met Eris Vanserra, but from the way he was talked about here I didn’t trust him. Mor was one of my dearest friends and while she was still sparse with the details of her betrothal to him, there was obviously some underlying darkness, some hidden identity that he refused to share, and I was determined to learn everything about him.

Rhys and Feyre dismissed me and I made my way to my room to start packing and think through my strategy.

-----

Before I knew it I was saying goodbye.

“Remember to watch your back, Beron has spies everywhere.” Az whispered into my ear as he pulled away “Trust no one”

“You trained me well Az” I said softly back to him “I’ll be okay”

With a nod he disappeared into the shadows and so my mission began.

I turned and walked up the gravel path towards the Forest House. I took in the details of the manor as it came into view, it was easily five stories and looked to be made of brick, the subtle red of each stone in contrast to the vibrant green scenery surrounding the home. I also immediately noticed that there were lots of windows on what I assumed to be the main floors. I will constantly be watched. I thought to myself as I took in the place that would be my home for the next two weeks.

As I approached the front door, I heard a subtle growl to my right. I turned slowly to find a massive black dog, his pointed ears alert and his eyes studying my every move.

“Hello there” I said, curling my hand and holding it out to the hound “I won’t hurt you” I said taking a step toward it. The dog cocked its head to the side as though it was contemplating my words when a high-pitched whistle startled me, must be its master, I thought as it immediately ran past me disappearing around the corner of the house.

I turned around looking for the hound when a figure approached. My eyes widened and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest as I recognized him.

“You” he said. His eyes wide, as he scanned over my body. He sounded surprised like my presence in his court was unplanned.

“You?” I threw back at him.

I never thought I would see him again.

When I led him into an abandoned room in the Court of Nightmares, I did so under the expectation that after our interaction we would go our separate ways. He was a mysterious stranger at a ball, and I needed something to make me feel alive. I had no idea who he was that night, and now my impulsive one-night stand was haunting me.

“What are you doing here?” he questioned

“I’m here as the emissary to the Night Court.”

“So, Rhysand sent you” he stated “I figured he would send one of his winged sidekicks. How delighted I am that he chose…differently”

“Last time we met we never officially exchanged names” I said nervously “I’m y/n” I stuck my hand out in way of greeting and immediately felt ridiculous for it, but before I could retract it he took a step towards me, grasping my hand in his as he pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“Lovely to formally meet you y/n, I’m Eris”

I tried maintain my composure, even though he just told me that he was Eris. He was the target I was watching, and I already had an intimate relationship with him.

This was going to be the longest mission of my life.

Before I could say anything that would compromise my position, we were interrupted by one of the houseworkers. A sweet woodland nymph from the looks of it. She cleared her throat gently to get our attention.

“My apologies sir. I was told to take lady y/n to her quarters” she bowed her head to the fire prince as she spoke.

“Of course… carry on” he said dismissively. He began to walk away from me but turned back suddenly

“I’ll be seeing you around y/n” he said with a smirk, letting out a high-pitched whistle that sent his hounds running.

I learned the nymph’s name was Juniper, she went by June for short she showed me to the room I would be staying in and I had to admit I was taken aback by the quarters.

I was on the fourth floor and the space was far nicer than I expected, there was a comfortable living area with a couch, two large chairs, and an ornate fireplace the mantle decorated with the traditional colors of autumn; red, green, orange, yellow, and purple. Along the back wall of the room was a large four poster bed and matching nightstands. The bathroom was just as elegant, a large soaking tub, a shower, a dressing room, and a large vanity with two sinks occupied the space.

I walked into the dressing room to change out of my traveling clothes, opting for a simple champagne colored slip dress and a robe. Juniper said something about a dinner later and I figured I would rest before that. I would need to be on top of my game tonight. no mistakes.

A knock sounded at my door, drawing my attention away from tonight and onto whoever was on the other side.

I opened it slowly taking in the sight of him leaning in the frame, I hated to admit it but he looked delicious in the doorway his red hair slightly out of place and his arms crossed over his broad chest.

“Eris?” I questioned “what are you doing here?”

“I take my duties as host quite seriously and decided that I needed to assess whether the room was to your liking” he raised his eyebrow suggestively

“It is, although I am surprised you have time for such menial tasks”

“May I come in?” he asked

“it’s your house, who am I to keep a prince from where he chooses to be” I said opening the door wide so he could step through.

“It’s my father’s house” he said “but that’s just a technicality”

“Thank you for enlightening me, your highness.” I feigned a bow, which seemed to entertain him as he smirked at the gesture.

“I’m getting the sense that you’re angry seeing me again” he said taking a seat on the couch spreading his legs wide as he rested his hands behind his head. He was completely at ease here. He thought he was in control of this.

“I’m not angry at you, we were strangers at the time…and how was I to know that I was fucking the future high lord of the autumn court”

He stood at that, taking a step towards me. I had to crane my head to meet his eyes. Gods he was so tall…and so muscular… and fuck…stop thinking about him like that. I thought to myself

“Would you have done anything differently had you known my identity” he said

“No” I said nervously, his head coming to rest beside my ear

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten one detail of that night kitten” he purred

“Neither have I” I choked out

His face lingered beside my ear; I turned my head slightly to meet his gaze. I could feel the tension between us, all the unsaid words that passed with each thump of my heart.

Fuck it.

I leaned forward capturing his lips with mine. I could tell he was caught off guard by my actions but he quickly recovered bringing his hand to cup my face deepening the kiss.

I fisted the material of his shirt, the top buttons already undone as I pulled him into me

“So eager” he said against my lips as he hoisted me into his arms his hands cupping my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist.

“Shut up” I said back trailing kisses down the column of his neck as he walked us towards the bed. I quickly threw my slip over my head before he threw me down without hesitation, his arms caging me in as he captured my lips with his. This time he was in control, and he wanted me to feel it. This kiss was passionate, it was pure fire as he kissed down my neck until he reached my chest.

His hands were so warm as he kneaded my breasts, taking each nipple into his mouth before kissing his way down my body, until his mouth was right where I wanted him most. I arched into his touch, desperate for some kind of contact.

“Please…” I panted

He removed my panties torturously slow, relishing in my desperation no doubt. He licked his lips as he took in the sight of me fully naked below him, spread out like his own personal feast.

“I’ve been thinking about this since the moment I laid eyes on you again” before I could respond, he pushed a finger into me curling it in just the right way. I practically screamed at the sensation.

“Fuck, you’re dripping for me” he moaned “listen to how wet you are” he said as he pushed a second finger into me. I felt slightly embarrassed at the sinful squelching until his thumb found my clit and began rubbing circles in time with his fingers.

“Let’s see if you taste as divine as I remember” without further warning, he dove in his tongue between my folds, licking a stripe from my entrance to my throbbing clit

“Sweet like honey” he said with a wolfish grin

It didn’t take long for my orgasm to build, and before I knew it that rubber band low in my belly was strung tight and my walls began to clench around his fingers. He licked his fingers clean, a smirk on his face, he was obviously very proud of his work.

I took a minute to catch my breath before throwing my leg over his and flipping us so that I was straddling him

“Now it’s your turn” I said as I unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it down his arms. He took my queue and threw it on the floor, resting on his elbows to watch me as I slunk down the mattress until I was on my knees, at eye level with his straining erection.

I took my time unlacing and removing his boots, this was supposed to be a tease. Once satisfied, I undid his belt and he lifted his hips allowing me to pull his pants off. As I did his cock sprang free bobbing up to his navel, my mouth instantly watered at the sight of him. He was so big.

I grasped him in my hand, my fingers barely touched as they wrapped around his thick length, he let out a hiss of approval as I lowered my head to him, running my tongue along the head of his cock before taking him fully in my mouth. I relaxed my throat to take him further and he threw his head back bringing his hand to twist my hair, wrapping it in around his hand to control my movements.

“That’s a good fucking girl” he gritted as he looked down at me “You look so pretty like this…with my cock in your mouth”

I hummed in response, using my hands to rub the length of him that didn’t fit in my mouth.

“Fuck kitten…I wont last long if you keep that up” he said “and I want to cum buried deep in that tight little pussy of yours”

I grinned up at him, allowing him to take control.

He guided me up so that I was straddling him my legs resting on either side of him as he fisted his cock collecting my juices as he slowly guided me onto him. I clasped my hands around his neck, and I could feel every ridge of him as he filled me completely.

 He let me set the pace, resting his hands on my ass as he encouraged me to grind against him. I began slowly but increased my pace as my pussy stretched to accommodate him. “Harder Eris, I- I need you deeper” I begged unable to reach the spot I needed him most.

“As you wish” he said with a wicked grin “Hold on tight kitten”

With that he lifted us, turning us around so my back was to the mattress he took one of my legs lifting it to rest on his shoulder and I already felt the change his cock practically hitting my cervix as he drove into me. This new angle was absolutely glorious.

Eris set a relentless pace, the only sounds in the room were my moans and skin slapping as he took his pleasure from me. I lowered my leg from his shoulder wrapping them around his waist to pull him deeper into me and he brought his hands to grip my waist practically pulling me into each thrust.

“Oh fuck…” I managed to moan out “I’m so close”

“Say my name” he commanded as he gripped my hips “Say my name when you cum on my cock”

“Oh gods, Eris” I moaned as my orgasm barreled through me

His thrusts became erratic as he followed me over the edge, his hands dug into my hips as he came inside me with a the most sinful sounding moan.

Our combined releases slowly trickled out of me as he pulled out, tucking me into his side, his arm resting around me cradling me to his chest.

As I lay there basking in the after-sex glow, my body thrummed with satisfaction I mean it just felt so…right with Eris. It was then that the mission, and the reason I was here crossed my mind and I needed to get back on the right track.

“You should probably go, before anyone wonders where you’ve gone off to” I said softly as I traced circles on his bare chest. He pressed a kiss to my temple, bringing his hand to interlock with mine rubbing his thumb along my palm.

It felt very…intimate.

“If you insist kitten” he said standing to retrieve his clothes from around the room. I couldn’t help but admire him as he stood, his muscles rippling as he got dressed. I sat up tucking the covers under my arms to cover my breasts.

“Thank you for…making the room so comfortable, you really saw to my every need” I said

“Always a pleasure to be of service” he replied as he tied his boots and stood making his way towards the door.

“See you later fox boy” I said giving him a snarky salute

He shook his head, hiding a glimmer of a smile “Dinner is in an hour, you should probably wash the smell of me off” he said as he opened the “not that I mind, I quite like my scent all over you” and with that he left, the door closing quietly behind him.

I heeded Eris’ advice and took a bath, making sure to lather myself in the lavender soap as I scrubbed my skin pink making sure to erase his scent. That was the last thing I needed to deal with during my time here. I already fucked up by sleeping with him…for the second time.

I climbed out of the bath, toweling my skin dry as I padded to the dressing room. I would wear classic Night Court black; it seemed the most suitable for an official court dinner. That was until I noticed a large black box with a red bow, and on top was a note.

I snatched it from its position and opened it quickly, my eyes scanning over the intricate script.

Do me the honor of wearing this to the court dinner tonight, you would look stunning in my colors. -E

I chastised myself for smiling as I read the note. I would not fall for his wiles, no matter how good he was in bed. I opened the box revealing a gorgeous dress. It was a strapless a-line in a deep forest green with gold leaves embroidered along the bodice. I thought that the color would look incredible alongside Eris’ auburn hair.

“Well, it would be rude to refuse a gift from my host” I said to myself as I held the dress to my body in the mirror.

I quickly dressed and made my way downstairs. As I walked the corridors of the Forest House, the sound of music wafted through the halls directing me towards the ballroom where the dinner party seemed to be in full swing.

I stepped into the room taking stock of my surroundings, Beron had gone all out for this dinner. Emissaries from each court were present and he had spared no expense the crystal chandeliers, banners, musicians, cooks, all indications he was looking to impress.

Eris noticed me almost immediately and grabbed a glass of a sparkling drink and made his way over to me.

“For you” he said extending the glass towards me

“Well, this place really just anticipates all my needs” I joked

“We aim to please here in the Autumn Court”

“Well you have surely succeeded, on more than one occasion” I said taking a sip from the glass

“I see you got my gift” Eris said, his eyes raking over my dress for the evening “and I must say you look absolutely delicious” he smirked at the insinuation

“Perhaps you could come by later and I’ll treat you to a nice dessert. It’s the least I can do to repay you for your hospitality” I said playfully

Our conversation was cut short as a woman approached, her elegant deep red gown indicating she maintained a high position in the court.

“Y/n- I am so sorry” he said quickly changing his body language as the woman appeared at his side.

“Hello Darling” the woman said in way of greeting. I had to admit she was beautiful. Her brown hair done in an intricate braided style that cascaded down her back in just the right way and her eyes, they were a combination of green and grey a sharp contrast to Eris’ blazing amber.

She emerged and took his hand in her own, leaning into his shoulder, her other hand coming to rest on his chest. Which was her intention no doubt. Everything about her screamed control.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me” she asked Eris, his hand came to rest upon hers. She seemed to relax at his touch, but I noticed the slight tensing of his jaw and the flare of his eyes like he wasn’t at all pleased with her request but would oblige.

“Of course” he looked directly at me, his eyes burning into mine “This is y/n, she is an emissary of the Night Court and is staying with us for a few weeks”

“And y/n this is Katerina” there was a brief pause before he continued

“my fiancée”

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Tune in tomorrow for Day Three ❤️

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Taglist (All Fics) ->

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[aziraphales-library]

hi hello! I adore the blog, thanks for all the work that you all do !! May you recommend any good multi chapter fics that have a really great plot/storyline? Something not explicit or nsfw. thank you dearly!

Hey! You can check our #plotty and #long fic tags for more recommendations like this. Here are more to add...

something wretched about this by IvyOnTheHolodeck (T)

You might wonder why Aziraphale can't seem to enjoy his retirement in peace. You could ascribe his distress to the series of terrifying thoughts that haunt his days, or the only book he wishes he'd never read, or even the wound that still hurts after six thousand years.

Really, though, you should blame the fact he's never learned to talk about his feelings.

in the study with the lead pipe by paradoxicalpockets (T)

The year is 1845, and Aziraphale, a rare books dealer, would like to retire early. His plans are scuttled when a mysterious letter is dropped on his stoop - a threat of blackmail from one Lord Gabriel, a wealthy American living out in the English countryside. An already tense dinner with 5 other blackmail victims (one of which is the famous actor Anthony J. Crowley) takes a turn for the worse when their host reveals that they are locked in the mansion, the blackmail materials are in the mailbox outside, and the police are set to arrive in 24 hours.

The only way to truly protect your secrets is to send them to the grave. Aziraphale and Crowley must find the front door key and escape...or die trying.

World Enough And Time by Stephquiem (T)

For Aziraphale, there were always two Crowleys: the First Crowley, the one he met in the Garden, the one he's spent 6000 years meeting across human history. And there is the Second Crowley, the one who comes to him across time, again and again, propelled, it would seem, by some unknown tragedy. Both, his hereditary enemy. His dearest friend.

For Crowley, there is a Before, and there is an After. Before, he spent 6000 years as Hell's agent on Earth, seeing Aziraphale occasionally, working together where they could get away with it. After... After, he's drawn back over and over, like he's attached by a tether that just won't let him go.

Not that he wants it to let him go. The alternative...

Binary Star by TriffidsandCuckoos (T)

After abandoning the Earth in the wake of a more environmental apocalypse, humanity has taken to the stars. Crowley stayed behind to restore the Earth; Aziraphale followed the humans into space. After almost two centuries, the latest prophet arrives in Aziraphale’s archive, determined to rectify this.

So Much Discounted by WanderingAlice (T)

After asking Aziraphale a strange question, Crowley disappears. Can Aziraphale work out what happened to him? And more importantly, can he save him before it's too late?

---

“No.” Aziraphale sat up, throwing his senses wide, searching, seeking, all the way to the edges of the world. “Crowley!” His frantic cry, amplified by his angelic power, rippled through the minds of every being with even the slightest occult sensitivity. Miles away, Anathema sat up in bed, and reached in panic for her lover when she felt the new absence in the world. Down the street from Jasmine Cottage, Adam Young tumbled from his covers, reaching out himself with what remained of his power. What he found was so terrible he fled from it, running to climb into bed with his parents like he hadn’t since he’d been very small.

“No,” the angel said again, his voice small and lost amid the stacks of lonely books. “No.” He pushed himself up with trembling hands, climbed to his feet, and didn’t stop running until he stood outside the door to Crowley’s Mayfair flat.

stalwart sun, wily moon by dustnhalos (M)

Anthony J. Crowley is a world-class art thief with a complicated past who, until now, had been pretty content with going through life as part of a prolific black market art trafficking ring. He enjoyed the thrill and danger of the hunt, especially if it meant he got to travel the world, play with state-of-the-art technology, and make enough money to afford anything he could ever want.

That is, until a simple logistical hiccup leads him straight into the path of one Aziraphale Fell, former Head Conservator of the British Museum turned antique repair shop owner.

Suddenly, there's a space in Crowley's life that only Aziraphale seems to fill, but his clandestine life of crime paired with Aziraphale's industry connections and indomitable penchant for good seems like a relationship doomed to fail.

Little do they both know, the strands of friendship, morality, and deception in their shared circles of the London art world are interwoven in even more complex ways than either of them could have expected...

- Mod D

[playingforever]

'Togetherness'...

The sound work and composition of Little Nightmares is really wonderful. I love how often the pieces are paired with an equally atmospheric name; something that packs an extra punch when you dwell on it.

When I learned that the (main, standard) iteration of the music box's melody is called Togetherness, this really ruined me! What a sweet name... As a result, I'm vividly forced to think of the music box as a symbol of Mono and Six's relationship. Representative of the state of being together; togetherness... The track also bleeds into this lovely ambience that plays when Six and Mono are having their first key moments in the Hunter's cabin. Mono offering his hand... Six beckoning him towards her... all of this, is interconnected with the music box, its tune...

The music box is a leitmotif present in so much of the game. In the very title screen! It's also in Teeth & Leaves, which plays once Mono wakes up at the start. The sound is eerie, as if carried through the wind, whistling through the trees... Makes me really feel as though Mono wakes up with an imperative urge, pull, towards the cabin. The memory of the music box ringing in his ears...~

What I also love, is how the emotional weight of Togetherness then recontextualizes Six's Theme from the first game. Six's Theme now evokes her music box, and subsequently, her relationship with Mono.

Obviously, chronologically, the music box's melody was made to take after Six's theme — likely drawing inspirations from the second part specifically, with its twinkly, childish feeling celesta and rhodes — but I still love the power of association it creates retroactively. I'd say LN2 in general was Tarsier reverse engineering more fleshed out answers to questions presented by LN1. Subsequently, I like reflecting on what the devs were going for with their choices, knowing they were going to be fleshing out Six with them.

We knew we had a cool character in Six, but we weren't prepared for how iconic she would become for people who liked the game. Because Little Nightmares was about the world and the kids that go there, not one kid. […] It just felt very natural that this then took place before the first game. Like, "well, where's Six been before? And how was it for her? Was there anyone she met along this journey to the Maw?"

— from an interview with lead writer Dave Mervik.

I like knowing these were the questions they had at the start of making LN2... There wasn't a solid resolution for 'who Six was', yet. I imagine when they made her theme initially, it was as simple as trying to encapsulate something cute yet creepy. Childish humming. That suits her character at the time of inception.

... it's sweet though, to walk it back and make it a tune Six found comfort in. A melody she would sing to herself even when reduced, warped. Something from a cherished object– one that she'd cling desperately to, bringing her a sense of escapism from the terrible world outside the tower.

Knowing Monster Six's room is enshrined in toys and present boxes, knowing the Thin Man gave her all this, is the music box not simply a gift from Mono...? Doesn't the very sound of it make her think of him?? Isn't that, emblematic of Togetherness-!?!!?!?

Really, it only makes sense that Mono destroying this wounds her so terribly, and that it's the catalyst for their separation afterwards. T-T (I'd have to make a different post about Mono's motivation towards breaking it (though just know it's driven by ignorance and self-hatred. And perhaps a wildcard incel jealously.)) But ultimately I like that Six remains perpetually haunted by it now. She can't escape the music box; it's an integral part of her psyche. As much as Mono is feeling its presence all throughout his journey, drawing him towards her again and again.

Anyways this was just me celebrating how much I love the fact that LN2 envelops LN1's narrative into itself... even on this granular of a level. I feel like Mono is a metatextual inescapable force that has left his handprints all throughout Six's being. She can't be freed from him... But, it's sweet, because without her, he wouldn't exist. :'3

[peony-pearl]

Zuko mentions to Ursa he would like for his little siblings to come to the Fire Nation to enjoy the summer festival.

By saying ‘siblings’ she knows he’s talking about Chiyo and Katsu - Ozai’s children.

Ursa, Noren and Kiyi have taken residence at the Fire Nation palace for years now, ever since Ursa was discovered on the outskirts of Hira’a. Once Zuko got the information out of Ozai just over ten years ago where his mother had taken up residence, he was escorted there by Aang to reunite with her. Ursa did not hesitate to return to her children once Zuko lifted her banishment, and she was a key figure in Azula’s recovery.

When Ozai broke out of prison, Ursa was a driving force in trying to find him after he threatened Azula’s life. Knowing he was out there, free, for the past decade has haunted her.

And then, just two years ago, Zuko and Azula received news of his whereabouts... and they found him with the help of Aang, Katara and June.

And they let him keep his freedom.

Zuko’s explanation of the events sounded like a bad dream. Ursa listened to her boy, whom Ozai had savagely scarred as a child, defend his decision after seeing Ozai happy out in some Earth Kingdom farm with a new family.

She was speechless. Zuko had left children in the midst of this monster.

Azula was the one who was more critical of her father’s new life. She vented to Ursa about the pain of seeing him so happy with this naive, sheltered woman who decided to stay with Ozai even after learning about his past. Regardless, Azula would eventually begin receiving letters from both the woman, Niwa, and from her younger sister, Chiyo.

And then Zuko dropped the bombshell.

Chiyo was an Airbender.

Ursa spoke to Aang upon his return with Zuko and Azula. He seemed over the moon, to not only learn there was another Airbender in the world, but she was the descendant of one of Aang’s fellow Southern Air Temple residents, and this revelation gave him hope that there could be more Airbenders in waiting out in the world.

And yet, despite all of this... Ursa could only remember the man who who began denying her as a wife when his lust for the crown became stronger; the man who planted the seeds of lies to his daughter of her being a monster, seeds that blossomed into a beautiful, deadly flower. A flower that he ripped out of it’s garden bed and crushed under his boot when she was no longer useful. And Zuko, the son that he turned against and berated and scolded when all he ever did was his best, until the day he finally tried to step into more assertive shoes earned him a permanently damaged eye.

“So...” Zuko begins to speak. “I’ve thought about inviting dad and Niwa and the kids. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come around you, or Noren or Kiyi. But... he’s kept his end of his promise so far. I’ve thought it was only fair to extend a hand back to him.”

Ursa knew the promise: to write to Zuko and Azula, and to maintain a form of communication on a regular basis.

Zuko also regularly received letters from Niwa and Chiyo, and each one ensured truth to Ozai’s words. Even Azula, who often worried that Ozai was telling Chiyo what to write, would read her little sister’s letters that contained questions and thoughts only a seven year old could ask.

Ursa sighs as Zuko makes his case; he stumbles as he sees his mother’s unhappiness. “I-I can have them stay on the other side of the palace,” he says. Azula sits next to Ursa; Aang sits next to her.

Azula squeezes her mother’s hand. “Or we don’t have to invite him.”

Zuko nods, albeit reluctantly, to his sister’s suggestion. Azula becomes miffed.

“Why are you so adamant to see him here?”

“I’m not! I just-”

“You’ve asked every year since we found him if he can visit.”

“That’s only two years, Azula,” Zuko sighs. “Uncle’s been asking about him too.”

“Well, Uncle’s senile,” Azula crossed her arms.

“Azula,” Ursa gently admonished her daughter, who turned her gaze away as she pouted.

Aang touched Azula’s knee, but remained focused on Zuko. “Maybe just invite the kids?”

Zuko shook his head. “Katsu is only two, and to give up her kids so suddenly for a week may not be easy for Niwa.”

Aang grinned at Azula. “It would be good practice though.”

“Get your head out of those clouds; no kids until those vows are said,” Azula smirked.

“You keep declining my engagement!”

“This is a talk for another time,” Azula hissed quietly.

Ursa, having maintained her silence, wrings her hands together. “... Zuko, in the end, you are the Fire Lord. And this is your home.”

Zuko shakes his head. “Yeah, but-”

Ursa holds up her hand. “I admit. I am not keen on seeing him again. Ever again. But... I know this is something you’ve felt strongly about. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. I simply ask that you inform me of the decision so I can... make arrangements.”

Azula grinned. “Poison arrangements?” She asked, nudging her mother’s ribs. Ursa chuckled.

“If only I could be so lucky.”

“Guys,” Zuko said in exasperation. “Look... I’ll just invite them next y-”

“No, stop it.” Azula rolled her eyes. “Just tell them to come. Spirits, you’re such a downer, Zuzu.”

“Yeah, Zuzu,” Aang echoed his fiancee. Zuko shot him a tired look.

“I agree,” Ursa said. “Invite them. Besides; should anything go wrong, we have you three to keep him in his place; and Kiyi is becoming more proficient in her own bending.”

“Yeah; if he pulled anything we could take him!” Aang agreed.

Ursa could see the look on Zuko’s face though; but still, he nodded and watched as Aang and Azula decided to retire to bed. Ursa lingered, waiting to talk to her son in private.

“Zuko,” she said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “You don’t owe him any-”

“This isn’t about owing him. I know where I stand on what dad did to me; to us.”

“And yet you’re so hopeful to see him again.”

“Is it wrong to hope for a new path? I found mine, mom. Outside of the Fire Nation. Away from him. I found my life, my meaning. And so has he. I saw it. I saw him experience a life he’d become fully invested in. I saw two happy kids; a beautiful home... And...”

“... And?” Ursa asked.

Zuko swallowed.

“... And I was so mad he found it without us. But you know what? I also found my path without Azula. And... she’ll always have that in her mind. But she’s forgiven me.”

“She could not control the struggles you faced.”

“As I couldn’t control hers; and I’ll always have dad’s favoritism to remember. We’ve all been subjected to lives we didn’t want. Dad was one of them. So were you.”

Ursa folded her arms in front of her, looking much like her daughter. Zuko pleaded to her, still not quite over the fact that he was so much taller, and yet he still spoke to her like she towered over him.

“Mom... The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But there’s a part of me that wants to see this through. He’s my father. And I’ve hated him, and part of me still hates him. But after everything I’ve learned... if Aang can forgive me for everything I allowed to happen to him and his friends... if Uncle can forgive me for turning away from him, I want to know I can reciprocate that.”

“You don’t have to forgive him.”

“Mom, I haven’t. I will never forgive him for what he did to me, or Azula, or you. But I feel like I have an obligation, as the Fire Lord, to make sure he’s not causing trouble. I called off the searches once I saw how much he’s changed. Others have done the same for me. Time goes on. He... He looked out for me back when we were looking for Chiyo. I was hurt and he stayed with me.”

Ursa’s eyes widened as Zuko recalled the event to her for the first time.

“When I told him we would find Chiyo he was thankful for me. I... Sometimes I think maybe now... Maybe now I could get to know my dad-”

“Zuko you don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t. But it’s my decision. I respect every bit of advice I get from you but this is something... something I need to do for myself. If Azula never wants to see him again after this, I will never invite him again.”

Ursa reached out to hold her son’s hand.

“And you’re not scared?” She asked. Zuko laughed.

“Mom, I’m terrified.”

Ursa’s face became one of determination.

“Then I will be right here with you.”

“I’m not scared that he’ll hurt me,” Zuko insisted. “Like you said, we can handle him if he were to become a threat.”

Ursa clasped Zuko’s hand tightly with both of hers. “But you’re still scared,” she said. “And I won’t let you be scared alone; not after I missed so many years.”

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment 2024 part "haunted"

So, I slept from 10:30 ish am to 2 ish pm... I laid there a while trying to sleep more before giving up and checking the clock and seeing 2:45, The length of time I was laying there felt like an hour or two, so I am assuming I slept till 2, probably, but hat might be generous.

In general I seem cursed to sleeping 6 hours per day or less.

The other really annoying thing is that the last time I was this sleep deprived and this stuck on a firm schedule, I was in my early 20's, working at a call center and living with the guy I refer to as my ex husband.

... Which means I keep having dreams that we're reconnecting and having conversations about maybe getting back together and I DO NOT care for it.

That was the one relationship I had were I was never harassed for sex when I didn't want it, and didn't have to deal with little tantrums or displays when I didn't feel like being affectionate or visiting, and don't get me wrong, he's -overall- genuinely a sweet guy.

But I always got the distinct sense that he didn't even like me as a person, and was just there so I would support him and he could avoid his abusive grandmother and uncle. I tried to talk to him about things and take him at his word, but he always seemed so depressed and shut down in a way that read as guilt or shame to me. He never seemed to enjoy talking to me, or spending time with me, and he certainly didn't want sex, at least with me, even by my standards which is to occasionally entertain it as a thing you can do with someone that feels good if you're both in the mood.

I always, once I stopped believing what he was telling me about how he felt, wrote him off as not meaning to take advantage of me, and as feeling really guilty about it, to the point of being paralyzed and kind of stuck, or not even conscious of it... Which is why I broke up with him even when that meant losing my home, which was a one bedroom apartment with 525$ inclusive rent [curses T~T]...

But the thing is, I keep becoming aware in the dreams, stuck as a part of my psyche that has been dormant a long time when I am awake, someone who doesn't remember everything that happened since high school and 'her' early 20s. I keep becoming aware of myself as I am now and starting to ask the uncomfortable questions that come up whenever I look back on everything from my perspective now.

I would have a very hard time -these days- watching someone lie daily about wanting to be in a relationship with me, only to act miserable, avoid me, criticize me constantly, shut down in most conversations with me, act so miserable around me but so happy around everyone else that all our mutual friends assume I must be doing something to upset him, and who just lets his family shit-talk me to my face about being 'lazy' without saying anything to defend the fact that I work 10 hour shifts to support him while he sits at home and plays games all day... I would have a hard time watching that and not seeing it as being done -to some significant degree- on purpose, or at least while consciously aware that's what he was doing. Maybe I'm just a suspicious person now, or maybe it's the experience of people talking.

And I cannot stress enough that I never "nagged" him. I didn't express anything unreasonable like a guilt trip. I was on eggshells trying to be careful how I brought up him video-gaming all day and doing nothing to clean up or pitch in while I worked a full time high stress job. I always put things as gently as possible, tried and failed to set boundaries, made occasional, calm and conversational requests that he at least keep the house clean or learn to cook, or at least go back to high school before he couldn't anymore, if he wasn't going to get a job. If he could tell I was upset and that he was unfairly burdening me when he didn't have to, or that it was destroying my health, those were his own observations and judgements. I was WAY too gentle with him. I felt bad asking him for anything at the time, too much so to try to demand he stand up to unfair accusations about me and actually tell people I was footing all the work/chores and financial burden of two people.

It wasn't until about 3 years in when I seemed ready to kick him out that he went back to school and made local friends.

And that's when I started to see it. I started to understand why our mutual friends thought I was "hen pecking" him or maybe being verbally abusive in private? He'd go back to his old cheery but shy self around other people. He'd bring a friend from school to visit once and they'd be nice to my face but avoid me forevermore. He'd hang out with me and my old girlfriend and even though they both regularly shamed me for things like speaking too loudly in public... They'd get distracted and caught up and start loudly play fighting around the food court in the mall. They were BOTH only afraid of attracting the attention of strangers when they were being seen with me.

If I had my life experiences as of now, back then, and having lived with fine and GB myself [who coincidentally were his two friends from school, even though GB tried to lie to me about it and "bunny" we'll call him, wouldn't dignify my messages with an answer to confirm... and I swear I couldn't have known it was them it was their other two roommates who interviewed me and got me in there]... As of today -if I had to take a shot in the dark- I'd say he was cheating on me with Fine at the time, or at least that part of her bitchy animosity towards me, despite claiming to want to be my friend, has to do with my ex-husband being her type entirely and him not -quite- cheating on me. Or maybe guilt and a sense of obligation to make nice because he did.

If he had've just answered my message and told me honestly what his relationship was like with these two, about 6 years ago, long after he was out of my life and theirs, or that GB was the guy who was a complete bitch to me the whole time out of jealousy over Bunny 'getting to date someone like [me]' [by his own admission, look I'm face-blind okay?]... He could have saved me so much fucking trouble. I would have known I couldn't trust Fine to be honest with me about anything from the start [and that she'd start taking attached men home to fuck all the time], and GB never would have raped me, and I never would have been in the position I was in when the plague hit or when we got evicted.

But any time I had asked ANY of them about what was going on back then, they all just clam up and get avoidant or lie [tic tacs too if she ever knew him, which seems likely because she's been friends with the other two since gradeschool, absolutely would not admit to knowing anything about the situation even while cozy-ing up to me], so I am probably never going to get answers about any of it.

Unless my ex has the decency to fucking answer me and be honest about it all. That's the only way I get closure on just how badly the other three lied to and manipulated me. Or any of them. IG if any of the 4 come forward I have my answers about the other 3.

...So in the dream I do what I would do now, once I become aware as one of my current selves, or a sum of them, I ask him shit like whether he was cheating one me, ect...

And in the dreams he says 'no' but I can tell he's lying, at least in the dreams, I can parse what part of his responses are genuine and which ones are an act to cover some deep shame or guilt. And all in all it seems a little more clear that he was more conscious of what he was doing than I had ever given him credit for. Maybe that's my being cynical now.

But these are just dreams, they are never going to be a reliable account and they are never going to give me real closure.

So in effect, every other night or so I am just wasting about 3 hours of sleep talking to someone I don't even want to be talking to, trying to get answers that will never mean anything. I don't want to be doing that.

I want to be building a consistent dream relationship with someone I LIKE and can TRUST

The other half of the time I dream about being friends with youtubers because their faces and voice are the only ones familiar to me and -at least physiologically- I am desperately lonely. My nervous system knows I need human contact and is trying to invent it for me. Which is leading to the other most socially awkward dreams I could possibly have. I need to feed my brain what Piccolo dbz would look and sound like irl, and not animated, so my brain can attach to him, or my imaginary girlfriend instead. The youtubers thing is very para-social, it's always someone new, so no weird fixations, but I'm not sure it's healthy compared to alternatives... Better than my exs and ex friends though fr.

I have finally regressed through most of my shitty ex's to finally be unpacking the fact that I want to demand fucking answers from my ex husband... Which I ALREADY KNEW... I didn't fucking need my dreams to tell me that! I have messaged him at least twice begging him to just tell me who's lying to me... Which I hope means I'll never dream about the others again. But I still do not care for it and I want it to stop. That was shoved in a box because there's nothing I can reasonable DO about it. The ball is NOT in my court.

Send THEM dreams compelling them to be honest with ME ffs... [please]

Maybe if I reach out to him for answers I could make the dreams go away, but the last time I sent him a message asking for some clarification, he just never answered me.

These people have been haunting my life since my first apartment and I want them excised. I want closure on how full of bullshit they all were so I can improve my ability to read people socially -with feedback- in a way that seems essential to keeping myself safe from ending up in the same shitty situations on repeat... So I can get my unconscious mind to let got of that mystery and let me fucking sleep.

I also want fucking closure from my family and am -also- not getting that. I want closure from my ex girlfriend and I am not getting that.

I only ever wanted honesty so I could make my own informed choices.

So I would rather it not drag up dead versions of me and make me relive these times every night when I am trying to sleep more than 3 hours.

... Also had a dream with a haunted doll, unrelated, that had to do with men showing up in my living space and a woman forcing me to justify why I should keep getting to live there... Can't say I cared for that either... The haunted doll was good though, she was helping me prevent children committing suicide, so... The literal hunted doll was not the problem... Best part of the dreams really, other than being friends with Sabrina and Abigail of youtube [we were discussing their recent unemployment???].

Anyway, my point being, by putting myself back into the same sleep deprived state of my 20's I have ended up slamming part of my brain back into those memories, only instead of getting that part of my psyche back, she's still dead, and now I am haunted by endless social betrayal when I am trying to fuggen sleep.

And I don't know how to fix it.

Because at this point I can't sleep outside the sleep times if I try, no matter how sore and exhausted, and no matter how much I desperately need more than 6 hours.

I could never had predicted this experiment would go this badly. I had though that -at worst- I just wouldn't be able to stay awake to maintain the schedule.

I never should have started this.

I knew this was bad road.

I just didn't know how bad.

If I could sleep an extra 2-4 hours daily and not dream about people who aren't in my life anymore for a fucking reason... This would be fine. Successful even.

The problem is that regular sleep for me is this double edged blade.

I also think I forgot to mention trying to find a phosphorus supplement at walloworld, but they didn't seem to have any and I am still pretty sure coke is cheaper and that one can of coke on most days can't possibly have enough phosphorus in it to overdose.

Unfortunately, the atp theory panning out, in practice [still unconfirmed with blood work or anything but getting results??], for me means only that I am unusually productive for someone this sleep deprived and that is NOT A GOOD THING, I fear, because I keep injuring myself.

It's a lot like being VERY drunk but having so much more energy than I should for someone this sore, uncoordinated, and drunk... Not a great combo. Bad road.

At least my dishes are done and I keep feeding myself?

The cuts bruises, pulled muscles, and missing skin sure hurt a lot though...