#I have now finished my reread I am more convinced than ever that the original is a masterpiece and the movie is an expensive garbage fire

[dkettchen]

more nimona comic reread things I am indescribably mad (for fantasy world building reasons more so than anything to do w rep) abt having been left out of the movie (part 1 - part 2):

BLITZMEYER MY BELOVED

director being a goblin, no hair, pointy ears, god I love that reveal, love her being a whole ass creachure

the fucking changeling replacing a baby lore aaaahhhh I forgot abt the actual backstory, it is so good, it is so myth based, I am a mythology nerd first and a minority person second you need to understand this about me as a person, she was a part of their community who happened to be something fundamentally different (and didn’t rly even know that herself) not an outsider other who happened to befriend one (1) of them, this is STILL the better trans metaphor

I am also still mad abt them changing literally everything abt ambrosius’s personality & backstory, where is my feisty long haired orphan boy and his dope face scars at the end smh

[sluttywonwoo]

study buddies || k.mg x reader

Pairing: frat!mingyu x fem reader 

Summary: studying for midterms with the guy you’re hooking up with goes exactly how you’d expect

Warnings: swearing, light smut (18+)

Word Count: 1.6k

a/n: reworked this old blurb originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark ) for my gf’s birthday :)) happy birthday @hotgirlmingyu

Masterlist

You woke up to banging on your apartment door. Groaning, you rolled over to check your phone and saw that it was six am. You pushed yourself up and out of bed and padded into the kitchen to answer the door. You were surprised the relentless knocking hadn’t woken up your roommate, but she was a pretty heavy sleeper.

You yanked the door open to see Mingyu with a handful of textbooks. You squinted at him in confusion, wondering if you were seeing things. Mingyu had never been to your place before, you didn’t even know he knew where you lived.

His appearance startled you a bit. His hair was messy where it was usually slicked back or styled and he was wearing gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him in anything other than khakis and a douchey printed shirt.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, rubbing your eyes.

He frowned. “You said we should study for midterms together.”

You thought back to the last time you’d seen Mingyu. You couldn’t remember saying anything like that.

“Was I drunk?”

“Probably.”

“So why are you here?”

“To study. You agreed that we could help each other out.”

“Mingyu, I don’t even remember agreeing to that.”

“Well I’m already here,” he said and pushed past you into your apartment.

“Seriously? It’s Saturday.”

“Yeah, and midterms are next week.”

“Couldn’t you have waited until the sun was up?” you grumbled, mostly to yourself and shut the door behind him.

“We’ve got a lot of material to cover.”

You cursed under your breath as you watched him set up at your kitchen table, knowing you should probably study even though you desperately wanted to go back to bed.

You and Mingyu had met at a party at his fraternity and woke up the next morning tangled in the sheets of his bed. To say it was awkward would have been an understatement. You didn’t think you’d ever see him again, but to your horror, you saw him in your stats lecture on Monday and your mythology class on Thursday. This was a pretty big university. Why did the same asshole have to be in two of your classes?

As much as it annoyed you, you couldn’t stop thinking about Mingyu, and apparently, he was having a similar dilemma because every time you went out he seemed to be there, and every time you hooked up.

That was the extent of your relationship, though. You didn’t even speak to each other in class or at parties. The only time you talked was behind closed doors when one or both of you was naked. Even then you kept your guard up because you refused to let yourself fall for a frat boy with commitment issues who never wanted to be seen with the same girl twice. A boy who wouldn’t even talk to you in public.

But you couldn’t ignore the way your heart fluttered when he said your name as he was about to cum, or the way his lips felt against yours. He could be a total dick, but you’d also seen a softer side of him that he didn’t show many people. You forced yourself to forget about that side. It was easier that way.

“Okay, what are we starting with?” you asked with a sigh.

“We have the stats exam first, we should work on that.”

You made a face. Statistics was the harder out of the two for you. In fact, it was the hardest class you were taking this semester.

“I can’t believe I’m doing math before seven am.”

“You won’t be complaining when you ace the midterm,” he quipped, already working on a practice worksheet.

You watched him solve problems like he was checking items off a list. You knew he was good at statistics, but you didn’t know he was that good. Figures, a guy like him was good at pretty much everything. Everything except mythology apparently, because once you’d switched to that he was flustered and frustrated. You would quiz him on myths only for him to get every single question wrong.

“Mingyu, did you even read any of these?” you asked, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Yes, y/n, I read every one. How do you think I passed all the reading quizzes?”

“Cheating?” it slipped out before you could stop it and Mingyu gave you a hard glare. You held up your hands defensively. “Just a joke.”

“I don’t think it was.” He licked his lips. “But for what it’s worth I read them all. I just can’t keep them straight.”

You sighed. You felt bad, but you were getting frustrated too. And not just because Mingyu wasn’t grasping the myths. This was the longest you’d ever spent together (at least while you were awake) and you hadn’t even had sex. He just smelled so nice and looked so cute when he was concentrating that you couldn’t help feeling a little impatient. You had been at it for hours, you thought you would’ve done it at least once by now. But Mingyu was more serious about studying than you thought. It was kind of admirable and kind of annoying.

“Okay well reread through the Egyptian myths and I’ll quiz you again.”

“Alright.”

He pulled out his reading packet and flipped to the section you took out your phone and scrolled through social media mindlessly as he read, but it quickly got boring. You wished Mingyu would take a break so he could rail you. He was still reading intently, but you figured a little distraction couldn’t hurt.

You started by taking your hair down from your bun and shaking it out so that it fell around your shoulders. You knew your shampoo drove Mingyu crazy and hoped it would have an effect on him today. He shifted his seat, but didn’t look up from the packet. Next, you leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder. You’d never done something so domestic like this with Mingyu, but it seemed to work because he cleared his throat and adjusted his sweatpants.

“You know you could be working on math.”

You shrugged. “We already did stats for hours today. I think I’ll jump off a bridge if I look at one more differential equation.”

He fell silent and tried focusing back onto the reading, but you moved your hand to his thigh and kept it there as you continued to through twitter, not even reading what was on your screen.

“Stop that,” Mingyu muttered, making you jump a little.

“Why?”

“Fuck, because you’re distracting me. You look too hot right now.”

“I’m wearing pajamas.”

“I really don’t care. You still look hot and I’m trying not to fuck you senseless right now.”

“Well what’s stopping you?” you asked lowly and nipped at his ear.

“Need to finish this,” he replied through gritted teeth.

“I can’t convince you to take a break?” You moved the hand on his leg up so that you were cupping him over his pants.

He shook his head. “After.”

You leaned over and kissed his neck, then his jaw, and felt him get hard under your hand. “If I have to stop what I’m doing you won’t be able to walk for the next week.”

“That sounds like more of a motivator than a deterrent,” you admitted. “I’ll suck you off,” you offered and hooked your thumb in the waistband of his sweats, trying to bribe him.

“If you let me finish I’ll eat you out,” he countered.

You straightened up. It sounded like a pretty good deal.

“Fine.”

A few minutes passed in silence and you were waiting patiently, typing up a rough draft of an essay you had due for another class when Mingyu groaned.

“What?” you asked, wondering if he needed help.

“Can you please stop that?”

“Stop what? I’m literally doing nothing.” You were genuinely confused now.

“Just- I don’t know you’re making it so hard to concentrate.”

“Am I making it hard?” You smirked.

“Very funny.”

“Would it help if I put a paper bag over my head?”

“Probably.”

“Come on, keep reading about Osiris.”

“I don’t want to read about Osiris anymore, he’s a dick.”

“The faster you finish the faster you can get off.”

“I thought you didn’t want to wait,” Mingyu pointed out, trying to deflect.

“I think I recall something about you going down on me if I let you finish reading.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, but didn’t turn back to the book. Instead, he continued to gaze at you with those big brown eyes. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“What?” You felt your cheeks get warm.

“I just really want to kiss you right now.”

You smiled and raised your chin, challenging him. “Then do it.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. You closed your eyes and kissed him back, savoring the moment.

When you pulled away, Mingyu’s eyes were dark with want and you could see that he was now fully hard in his sweatpants.

“How about I eat you out now anyway?” He suggested, leaning forward to kiss your neck.

You moaned and brought your hands to his hair.

“You trying to bribe me?”

“Is it working?”

“Fuck yeah.”

Mingyu stood and picked you up from your chair. You wrapped your legs around his waist again. He pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth and smirked.

“Promise you’ll finish studying after?” you asked.

He considered it. “Does what we’re about to do count as studying mythology? Because it’s going to be legendary.”

You scrunched up your face in distaste. “No, I take it back. Put me down.”

Mingyu grinned. “Hey! You know no ones gives it to you as good as I do.”

“That confident are you?”

His grin turned into a smirk. “Is that a challenge?”

lmk what you think i always appreciated feedback!!

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[dameronology]

love in the time of p.t.a meetings {marcus moreno} - 2/5

summary: your kid has taken a liking to marcus moreno - and frankly, so have you {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing, mentions of divorce & very brief mentions of his wife’s death 

i don’t normally update series this quickly but this was originally one imagine that reached about 11k words lmao so it’s all written, just being split up. i’ve also decided it’s gonna be 5 parts instead of 3, cos i reread the ending and realised i was not done by a longshot. enjoy!

- jazz

Mondays. You hated ‘em.

Everything just seemed so...amplified. The peace and relaxation of the weekend was over and everyone had to go back on the grind. The traffic always seemed worst, the clock seemed to tick backwards and you just wanted to be at home, in bed. After an incident involving the dog, a toaster and a small pan fire, you were already running twenty minutes late and you knew in your soul that your child’s shoes weren’t on the right feet. That, and also he was wearing a Chewbacca onesie to school. It had been a compromise. As in, he was refusing to go to school unless you let him wear the damn thing. It was a compromise. You’d lost. 

On the bright side, the past weekend had been the best you’d had in a long time. Jack had spent all of Saturday afternoon at the Heroics headquarters and he was so worn out, he’d slept through all of Sunday. Marcus Moreno must have a been a fucking wizard, because you’d been trying to tire the kid out for five years. You made a mental note to do something in return, though you sensed there was nothing on God’s green earth that could possibly amount to babysitting the world’s most exhausting child for six hours. You were allowed to say that, because Jack was your world’s most exhausting child and you wouldn’t have changed him for anything. 

‘New week, huh buddy?’ You glanced at Jack in your rear view mirror. He was sat on his booster seat, legs dangling back and forth and a power ranger action figure in his hand. ‘A fresh start.’

‘Can we listen to the song from Cars?’ Jack ignored your comment.

‘You gotta try and behave yourself this week. You’ve seen what happens to people who do follow the rules, right? They get to go work at the Heroics-’

‘- I wanna listen to the song from Cars!’

You wanted to have a deep conversation. Jack wanted to listen to Life Is A Highway. That was...actually, it was exactly how you’d expected that to go. It wasn’t that off of the time you were trying to explain your divorce to him and he’d interrupted you to demand that you put Toy Story on. 

‘Sure thing, kid.’ You rolled your eyes, reaching across to hand him on your phone. ‘D’you know how to spell it-’

Your sentence was cut off by the sound of guitars blaring from the speakers. At least he could work out Spotify.

By some miracle, you managed to make it the school with a few minutes to spare. Because most people had dropped their kids off earlier (see: on time), the lot was pretty empty. That meant you could once again dump your car without regard for the painted white lines -- who had time to park properly on a Monday morning? That was for people who had their shit together.

Leaping out the car, you almost cursed when you tripped over your heels. You didn’t have to wear them, but since you’d started working in a managerial role at your office, you figured it made you look a little more professional. And what was the harm in being a few inches taller? It made you feel powerful.

‘C’mon, J.’ You pulled open the back door, helping Jack leap out the car. 

‘You know, I’m starting to think you can’t park your car at all.’

‘Marcus!’ Jack practically flew out the car, his tiny body suddenly jolting with excitement. 

‘Morning, buddy.’ He replied; he then moved his brown eyes to gaze at you, offering a smile. ‘Hey.’

‘Hey, how you doing?’ You greeted him. ‘I don’t normally see you here in the mornings.’

‘Yeah, I normally drop Missy off at the front but it was one of those mornings, you know? She was taking a little more convincing than usual to go in.’

‘My kid is in a Wookiee onesie and backwards Thomas the Tank Engine shoes and you have the audacity to ask me if I know those mornings? I am those mornings.’ You replied.

Marcus chuckled. ‘I think it’s a look. I especially like the Lightning McQueen sunglasses.’

‘Do you have a super suit?’ Jack asked. ‘Can I try it on?’

‘C’mon, Jack. You’ve already managed to get a tour of the HQ.’ You ruffled his hair. ‘And we gotta get going to school.’

‘But I wanna ask more questions.’ He muttered. ‘I have over a hundred.’

‘Don’t I know it.’ You murmured under your breath. ‘But school is more important.’

‘I don’t wanna go anymore.’

‘I let you wear the onesie. That was our agreement, remember?’

‘All good superheroes have to get an education.’ Marcus reasoned. ‘And if you go in, maybe I can show you my suit at some point?’

'Okay!’ Jack grinned. He wrapped his arms around your waist in a quick hug, before peering up at you with a toothy smile. ‘See ya later!’

He turned on his heel and ripped his backpack from your hand, suddenly speeding up the path and towards school. Had...had that just happened? For once in your life, had you not had to wrench him from the car and wrestle him through the school gates? Move aside, Harry Potter, because Marcus Moreno was the new wizard in town. You might have been a little jealous that he was so good with your son but at the same time, it made you like him even more. He was the first parent at the school that had leant into Jack’s wild tendencies. And, whilst you tried not to think too much about it, even his own dad had struggled to do that. It made your heart warm a little. 

‘You are seriously my favourite person.’ You chimed, leaning back against your car. 

‘Kids with character are way more fun than kids who are well-behaved.’ Marcus replied.

‘I spent forty-five minutes scraping string cheese out the USB port of my computer yesterday, but sure.’ 

He chuckled. ‘No, I’m serious. I don’t encourage Missy to misbehave but she does get herself into some situations. I choose to see it as a testament to her intelligence rather than disobedience.’

‘I refuse to believe for a second that Missy ever misbehaves.’ You shot back back. ‘She seems so well-behaved.’

‘What you see in the parking lot is not a reflection of our whole lives.’ He reminded you.

‘Right, because despite appearances, I’m actually a very put together parent.’ You snorted. ‘But I get what you mean.’

‘I gotta get to work now, but it was good to see you.’ Marcus pulled his car keys out his pocket. ‘I was serious about that suit thing, by the way. He saw my katanas on Saturday.’

‘Katanas?’ You spluttered. ‘My kid managed to start a fire last week out of nothing and you want to give him katanas?!’

‘Maybe I can show you how to use them.’ He flashed you a smile. ‘And then you can pass on the knowledge.’ 

‘That’s probably an even worse idea.’ You shook your head with a laugh, pulling open your car door. ‘I’ll see you around.’

‘You as well. Have a good day, pretty lady.’

--

Did you stop thinking about your exchange at any point during the day? Absolutely not. In fact, you’d already written an email to the local deed poll office to change your legal name to Pretty Lady. 

No, but in all seriousness, you’d been a little giddy about it. Had he been flirting? That didn’t seem like a long shot. You got on well, you’d hung out a bit over the weekend and not to toot your own horn, but you were by no means bad looking. Tired and a little frazzled, sometimes? Yeah. But anyone would have been lucky to have you and you were doing a better job at recognising that, especially since your divorce. 

You were almost ecstatic when it got to 4PM and you hadn’t received a single call from Jack’s teachers. That meant that he had behaved, and what Marcus had said had worked. Because you worked past his finishing time, he usually went to the after-school club till you could come to collect him - it had been a lifesaver, especially since you couldn’t always leave early. He usually came home with some kind of weird arts and crafts. Last week, it had been an unidentifiable item made of dried macaroni and glitter. He’d placed it pridefully on the old fireplace in your lounge. 

After saying goodbye to your co-workers, you headed out the building. Your office was right in the city centre and not too far out from the school. It was a nice place to be; your lunch hour, when you could head out to a street cart and eat your food in the local park, was usually the highlight of your day. It was when you could exist just as you. When you were at work, you were in charge on your entire department. When you were home, you were a parent 24/7. That time to yourself was vital.

As you were heading to your car, your phone began to ring. Your heart almost jumped out your chest when you saw Marcus’ name - he hadn’t called you before, only texted to sort out the previous weekend’s plans with Jack. You quickly organised yourself (he couldn’t see you, dumb ass) and cleared your throat.

‘Hey, everything alright?’ You brightly greeted him.

‘Hey! Are you out of work now?’

‘Yeah, I’m literally just leaving. What’s up?’

‘Look, I hate to do this but I’ve had an emergency at work - superhero related, you don’t wanna know - and I’m not gonna be out for hours.’ Marcus sounded stressed. Yeah, I feel that you thought. ‘Would you be able to pick up Missy and possibly have her for a few hours? If not, that’s totally-’

‘- I’d be glad too!’ You interrupted him. ‘I owe you one anyways for the weekend. And this morning, actually.’

‘You don’t owe me anything.’ He sounded surprised that you’d even imply it. ‘But I will definitely owe you for having Missy.’

‘Hey, it’s cool!’ You insisted. ‘Do you want me to drop her off at yours later?’

‘I can come and collect her if you text me your address?’

‘Perfect.’ You smiled. ‘I’ll see you later then?’

‘You’re a lifesaver.’ Marcus said. ‘I’ll text Missy to let her know to find your car instead of mine. I would ask for your plate number, but your car is...’

‘...bright red, covered in dents and hard to miss?’ You finished his sentence.

‘Exactly.’

You’d been in the same situation before; pulled between work and parenting, with Jack stuck at school and an important meeting that felt like it was never ending. It was hard to get a sitter on such short notice - or afford one, sometimes - and it was just another one of the million, stressful situations that single parenting could get you into. If you could help Marcus even a little bit, of course you were going to. You knew he’d do the same for you. Heck, he had done the same for you.

Jack and Missy were both chatty on the way home. Given that she was a little older than him, her conversational skills were strikingly better. It was nice to ask someone about their day and not get where are my Cheetos? as an answer. From what you gathered, she hated science class, enjoyed gym, and her favourite subject was lunch. That didn’t come as a surprise to you - her dad was a literal superhero and probably encouraged physical activity.

(You’d seen his arms, okay? They were more than enough to go on. I digress).

The only thing that made you wish you’d had a little more notice on having her for the evening was the state of your apartment. The place wasn’t bad; you’d lived there for the better part of eight years, and it was crammed with soft furniture and millions of blankets, as well as photos of you and Jack and his questionable art projects. It was just that you hadn’t done the dishes that morning, there was a mountain of shoes by the door and the pancakes from the previous night were still stuck on the roof.

Missy barely blinked an eye; the minute she saw your dog, she’d abandoned her bag and was playing with him. 

‘Hey buddy!’ She grinned. ‘What’s he called?’

‘That’s Oppy.’ You replied, hanging your jacket up. She didn’t need to know that it was short for Optimus Prime. No guesses on whose idea that had been. 

‘He’s so cute!’ Missy continued. ‘I’ve been asking dad for a dog for ages but he won’t budge.’

For some reason, that surprised you a little. Marcus might have been the leader of a super-hero team and a public figure, but you could tell he would do anything for his daughter. You knew because it was the same for you with Jack. He might have ruled your whole life but you would have hung the damn stars in the sky for him if he asked 

‘They’re a lot of work.’ You reasoned. ‘I have to wake up every morning at 6AM to make sure he gets a walk. Then there’s the matter of-’

‘- mum! Optimus Prime pooped in the bathroom!’

‘The matter of that.’ You murmured under your breath.

The rest of the evening went pretty smoothly. You fed the kids some leftover takeaway and between the dog and Netflix, they were easily entertained. Jack seemed to take a liking to Missy, which was good because it meant he wanted to sit with her the entire time instead of bouncing off the walls. She had the same patience as her dad, especially when he asked her a million questions about superheroes. It took her twenty minutes to convince him that Batman wasn’t her uncle, and a further fifteen to make him believe that she hadn’t met Captain America. 

Jack had asked you a few times about whether or not he would get siblings. Of course, it would be different to any interactions with Missy because he would have been the oldest, but it did get you thinking. You were finally in a place where you were moving past your former relationship and healing from the wounds. Time wasn’t much of an issue either - you’d had Jack when you were young and barely out of college. You couldn’t possibly imagine having any more kids right now, not when it was just the two of you, but in the future? You’d never rule out meeting somebody new. If anything, you were hopeful. Your first relationship had been your only one, and it had ended badly. You wanted to experience love for what it actually was, and not what you thought it was supposed to be. 

Not long after 7PM, there was a knock on your door. By that point, both Missy and Jack had passed out on the sofa with Star Wars playing quietly in the background. It had been her idea to watch it - she had good taste. Marcus had clearly done a good job.

‘Hey!’ You greeted him as you pulled open the front door. ‘Come in quick, it’s fucking freezing out there.’

‘Thank you.’ Marcus came inside, dusting a few snow flakes out his hair. ‘Seriously, I can’t say it enough-’

‘- it’s fine!’ You shook your head, offering him a smile. ‘Missy’s been great. She’s really chatty and it was nice to have a coherent conversation with someone that isn’t about Paw Patrol. But was everything at the office okay?’

He was quiet for a minute. ‘Yeah. We uh, we lost someone. A hero.’

‘Shit, man. I’m sorry.’ Your voice fell quiet. ‘You wanna come in? You look like you could probably take a moment.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course! Missy and Jack are both asleep on the couch anyways.’ You pointed through to the living room. Marcus leant over to have a look, smiling slightly at the sight. 

‘Thank you. I’d appreciate that.’

He took a seat at the kitchen counter. Your old bar stools were a little old and wobbly, but Marcus didn’t seem to notice. If anything, he admired the place. It was cluttered as hell and filled with useless, old items - cook books you didn’t use, random magnets, assorted toys - but it was nice. His house always felt a little cold and clinical. He’d moved a lot over the course of Missy’s life and now that he was retired from the field, he’d sworn to her that their current house was going to be permanent. Whether or not it felt like home was another question entirely. 

‘I would offer you a drink but all I have is..’ you paused, opening the fridge. ‘Nesquik, vodka or apple juice.’

‘You know what? A Nesquik doesn’t sound too bad.’

‘I like your thinking, Moreno.’

After quickly fixing up the two drinks, you slid into the seat beside him and handed him one. You had never in a million years imagined a situation where Marcus Moreno would be in your kitchen drinking chocolate milk, but here we were. It had clearly been a long day for him and you had enough of those to last a lifetime, so you knew how it felt. Coming home after a day that had beat your ass into the ground and having to put on a brave face for your kids was difficult at best. 

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ You gently asked.

‘Yeah, I’ll be okay - it just always fucks me up a bit.’ Marcus murmured quietly. ‘Hits a little too close to home.’

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew that you knew what had happened to his wife. You knew why he’d retired, and why he and Missy had moved away from their original city six years ago.

‘Sorry, that was too deep-’

‘- it wasn’t!’ You quickly cut him off. ‘I’ve had random women come up to me at pick up time and say they’re sorry to hear about my divorce. People I don’t even know. So really, after that, nothing is too much.’ 

He smiled slightly. ‘They always say they’re sorry but why would you bring up a subject if you have to apologise for it?’

‘Exactly!’ You replied. ‘Especially when I’ve moved on. It’s been a year.’

‘It’s the same with me. Missy and I miss her everyday but we don’t mope about it. We just...we look back with fondness on the good memories we have. You can’t move forward if you’re stuck in the past, no matter how much it sucks.’

‘That’s...that’s wise.’ You blinked in surprise. ‘S’pose that means I should take down the dartboard I have with my ex’s face on.’

‘From what I’ve heard, he seems like he should have more than a dart board.’ Marcus snorted - then he froze. ‘Wait, not that I’ve heard stuff, I mean...I don’t listen-’

‘- Marcus!’ You whacked his arm. ‘It’s fine. One of the other kid’s mums started telling me about the terrible divorce someone was going through but she realised she was gossiping to the one who was going through it.’

‘I don’t know how much of what I’ve been told is true, but it sounds like it was bad.’ His hand hovered over where yours was rested on the counter. 

‘The rumours pretty much get the gist of it.’ You replied. ‘But we were talking about your thing, so I don’t wanna take away from that.’

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ He finally moved his hand, fingers gently curling underneath yours to intertwine them. ‘If even half of the whispers are true, he sounds like an asshole. You and Jack both deserve better than that.’

Whatever people had said, it had sort of covered the gist of it. You’d married too young and had a kid too young - your ex had been a terrible husband and an even worst husband. He’d chastised Jack for being...well, being Jack. He’d stay out late with his friends, spend money on things neither of you needed and tried to make you take the blame for it all. After giving him a few too many chances, you’d finally reached breaking point and kicked him out. Filing for divorce and taking on being a single parent was single-handedly the hardest and bravest thing you’d ever had to do. In a way, you were glad you’d done it when Jack was still so young - he didn’t really understand any of it, even when you’d try to explain it in child friendly terms.

‘I think people judge me for it a little sometimes.’ You confessed. ‘They see me struggling but they know I made the choice to separate from him, like I brought it all on myself.’

‘That’s bullshit.’ Marcus plainly stated. ‘Parenthood isn’t a dependent thing based on whether or not you’re still married to the other parent. It’s unconditional and permanent.’

‘I should tell him that, but I also don’t want him back in our lives.’

‘I know it’s none of my business, but he doesn’t deserve Jack. He’s one of the best and brightest kids I’ve ever met.’

‘Thank you. I’m glad he doesn’t seem like a complete lunatic.’

‘He doesn’t deserve you either.’ Marcus continued. ‘Again, I might be out of place saying this but you are...you’re amazing. I was a wreck when I was suddenly on my own and you’re still holding everything together and working your ass off.’ 

‘You’ve noticed?’ You quirked an eyebrow.

‘Yeah, in passing.’ He admitted. ‘I remember I once saw you carrying three separate science projects at once and then Carol made a passing comment that you were on your own and...I just kinda admired you from afar.’

‘You, Marcus Moreno, admired me?’ You blinked at him in disbelief. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

‘I wish I’d had my shit together half as much as you did when I lost Missy’s mum.’ 

‘But the difference is you didn’t have a choice in your situation. I chose to boot his dad out-’

‘- you gotta stop discrediting yourself.’ He shook his head. ‘And stop blaming yourself. You did what was right for your kid and that is the most admirable thing of all.’

‘You really think so?’

‘I know so.’

The conversation slowly drizzled away, leaving you two to just look at each other. It was hard to tear yourself away from his brown eyes - there was a lot going on behind them. Fear, pain, anguish, admiration. He was one of the most mind-blowingly impressive people you’d ever met; single dad, superhero, electric car owner. He probably didn’t have a mortgage too and that was kinda hot. You were none of those things and yet, here he was, with you, managing to connect on a level that you never had with anyone. Both of your situations were tough, but they’d brought you together. 

Marcus Moreno was pretty fucking fearless (came with the job, you figured), and he wasn’t afraid to make the first move. He slowly inched his head forward and in return, you gravitated towards him. Your lips met halfway in a soft kiss, his hands moving to firmly hold your waist as he pulled you closer.

You almost stumbled out your chair with the movement, but his grip on your hips meant you didn’t slip. Instead, he placed you up on the counter, standing up as he did. It took you a moment to adjust to the position, but with your legs resting on either side of his, you could reach forward and lean on him. You had one hand tangled in his hair and the other on the back of his neck -  you’d surprised yourself with that. It had been months since you’d kissed anyone, but you weren’t as rusty as you thought. 

‘Oh my god, is the superhero gonna be my new dad?!’

Marcus suddenly jumped backwards at the sound of Jack’s voice. He was stood in the doorway, post-nap hair covered by a lopsided Chewbacca hood. His eyes were like dinner plates, even though he was grinning from ear to ear. 

‘Uh...’ you glanced between him and Marcus. ‘We were just...we were...’

‘I had something in my eye.’

‘He had something in his eye.’ You quickly agreed. ‘But now it’s out, so Marcus is gonna go home.’

He knew you didn’t mean it rudely - it was more of a desperation thing. The longer he stayed, the more questions Jack would come out with. Missy could have overheard too and that would have been twice as much to explain. So really, the sooner he got out, the better.

‘Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll grab Missy.’ Marcus said, scratching the back of his head. ‘Thank you again for looking after her.’

‘You don’t need to keep thanking me.’ You shot back. 

He disappeared into the living room for a moment, reemerging with a sleeping Missy in his arms a moment later. Your eyes met again, and he gave you a soft smile.

‘I’ll call you.’

‘Yeah, sure.’  You nodded. ‘See you, Marcus.’

--

True to character, the next hour was spent being pelted with questions from your over-curious son. He didn’t shut up once when you were bathing him and he got even louder when you were reading him his best time story. On the bright side, you’d managed to get him to change out of his slightly manky Wookiee onesie and into a clean Buzz Lightyear one. Normally, you would have argued that he couldn’t live in pyjamas, but if it kept him quiet? It was a price you were willing to pay. 

‘Night, kiddo.’ You pressed a kiss to his forehead, switching on his nightlight. ‘Remember our deal, yeah? If I buy you a Happy Meal tomorrow, you won’t mention what you saw to any of your friends?’

‘You said library was bad.’

‘No, it’s bribery.’ You corrected him. ‘And do as I say, not as I do.’

‘Sounds bad, but okay.’ He sleepily murmured. ‘Night.’

‘Night.’ You stood up, flicking out his bedroom lights.

‘Wait, mum!’ Jack suddenly sat up, as though he’d remembered something. ‘You never said no.’

‘No to what, buddy?’

‘When I asked if the superhero was my new dad.’

Well, fuck. 

taglist: @naivara-duneimith @1-2-3-4-5metalfingers @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @lyanna-the-giantsbane @phoenixhalliwell @crazycookiecrumbles​ @bitchin-beskar​ @comphersjost​ {message me to be added!}

[imaginethathaikyuu]

WAIT you’d write more bokuaka!!!! i’ve reread both parts so many timesss. could i request a scenario where bokuto feels insecure and like he doesn’t get much attention in the relationship, but he just misread the situation and reader and akaashi are actually planning a big surprise vacation for all 3 of them? super fluffyy and cuddly? thanks so much, dw if u don’t like this scenario for the bokuaka series! 💓💓💓

good morning bokuaka nation, todays forecast calls for angst but there may be a chance fluff on the horizon? stay tuned to em’s 24/7 news to find out 

im just considering all of my poly bokuaka fics a series at this point - and there have been three parts so far! part 1part 2part 3

gender neutral reader

-

Koutarou was convinced that he was about to explode. 

He’d been dealing with feeling everything less than great for at least a week now, and something had managed to build up in his chest in the form of an emotion bomb. 

Simply put: Koutarou was jealous, impossibly so. And he couldn’t lie to himself anymore and keep pretending he wasn’t. 

You and Keiji had been acting different recently. Koutarou didn’t understand it - you two had been leaving him out of almost everything. You don’t even go to bed at the same time as he does - you both stay up late together every night while he’s in the cold bed, swearing he can hear you two giggling in the living room. 

And he hates himself for feeling this way - he doesn’t want to be the clingy one. But he never wanted your special relationship to turn into this. He was sure the three of you could love each other equally forever, that none of you would ever be left out, that three wasn’t a crowd. 

But Koutarou felt like an intruder in his own relationship. 

He was tired of you always showing Keiji things on your phone without letting him see them too; he was sick of Keiji handing you random envelopes as if you two were passing notes he wasn’t meant to see. There shouldn’t be any secrets, but you and Keiji seemed to be keeping a lot from him. 

More than anything, though, Koutarou missed you two. He missed your kisses and Akaashi’s cuddles; he missed how warm the two of you always kept him; he missed your random late night talks about silly things. 

And he was afraid you two didn’t miss him. What was there to miss, anyway? His loud voice? His immaturity? His - at times dangerous - forgetful nature?

His timer was about to run out. He couldn’t take it anymore - why couldn’t you two just be honest with him? 

He walked into the kitchen to find you both sitting at the table, you sitting on Akaashi’s lap, with your laptop in front of you. And neither of you even looked up at him. 

That was it. “Do you guys even want me here anymore?!”

That caused your eyes to snap up at him. 

“What?” you asked, unsure if you even heard him correctly. 

Koutarou didn’t know how to voice his frustration, emotion, worry. He was getting overwhelmed, and quite frankly, he felt stupid for even standing there. 

“You’ve both,” he started, trying his hardest not to raise his voice while also keeping his tears in, “You’ve both abandoned me for each other.” 

His words shocked you; you looked over at Keiji and could tell he felt the same. 

Bokuto stood with clenched fists as he waited for either of you to speak, to quell the anxiety he felt. His nails dug into his palm as he tried to calm down, but he just couldn’t. 

Keiji was the first to speak. “Bo…” 

And that’s it. That’s the only explanation either of you could offer him, one word, a stupid nickname that Koutarou didn’t even like being called. 

“Just forget it,” he said as he turned and stormed off. “I’ll just go to bed alone. Again.” 

And the slam of the bedroom door is what finally knocked the air back into your lungs after Koutarou’s words took it away. 

“We… haven’t been good,” Keiji mumbled, now resting his forehead against your shoulder. 

“I didn’t think… I thought…” 

You both thought you were hiding your secret from him well. You only just realized that to do that, you were completely avoiding the man so you didn’t have to lie to him. Keeping a secret from Koutarou wasn’t easy. His kind eyes and smile just seemed to pull it out of you. 

Not only that, but the secret you were keeping was one that took a lot of planning to even exist. So you had to keep it hidden for well over a week. 

You had both been avoiding him for a week. 

You were planning a surprise beach vacation as a way to reward him for all the hard work he had been doing lately; turns out, planning a week long trip to a beach resort for three was a bit more complicated than you first realized. 

“We need to go apologize,” Keiji said. “Hopefully before he does anything irrational.” 

“It’s Bokuto,” you said, standing up and leading the way. “He thinks we don’t want him anymore - he’s probably already got a suitcase packed.” 

“Don’t say that,” Keiji mumbled behind you. 

You knocked on the bedroom door, not expecting to get any response. And you didn’t. 

“You should do the talking,” you said to Keiji.

“Why? He likes you more.” 

“But you’re better at -” 

Suddenly the door opened and a sad Koutarou grumbled, “If you came here to explain why you love each other more than me, you can save it.” And then he walked back to the bed before quite literally flopping down onto it, pulling a pillow over his face so neither of you could see him. 

“Should we tell him, Y/N?” 

“Tell me what?”  he asked into the pillow. 

“Well, considering we just finished planning it, now seems like a good time…” 

“Planning what?!” 

There were so many things running through Bokuto’s mind. He had himself convinced that you two were going to break up with him then and there; he’d go from having two amazing, beautiful, perfect partners to having none; one of his biggest fears was about to come true. The anxiety spread like a wildfire. 

And then he felt the bed dip on either side of him. He felt two hands on his chest; he pulled the pillow off of his head to find you were both lying on either side of him. 

“We haven’t been acting sneaky because we don’t want you anymore,” you said to him. 

“Then why…”

“We were planning something behind your back,” Keiji said. 

“A trip, Kou, we were planning a trip - Keiji, don’t make it sound so ominous.” 

You then explained to Koutarou what the last week and a half had entailed; researching and booking and buying and planning. It was a bit of a last minute idea, and with summer fast approaching, you had to make your reservations while they were still available. It was all more stressful than you originally thought, even with Keiji’s help.  

“You’ve been working too hard for us, Kou,” you said. “We wanted to pay you back in the a way you deserved…” 

“And we wanted it to be a surprise,” Keiji said. “To be fair, that part was Y/N’s idea.”

“How’s that fair?” you asked. “It doesn’t matter - Koutarou… we love you, and we’re sorry for making you feel excluded, and - oof.” 

“You guys… I thought you were going to break up with me, but… this - this is such good news!” 

Bokuto pulled both of you into his chest and hugged you with a crushing grip because he just couldn’t help it - he was so relieved. Not only that, but he couldn’t believe you guys had been doing something so kind just for him. 

He was an idiot to think the worst - he felt really stupid, now, but most of all he felt thankful. 

“I really love you both,” he said happily. “Thank you, Y/N, thank you, Keiji.” 

“You’re crushing us,” Keiji said, and it only made Koutaru’s arm tighten around him even more. “I’m going to suffocate!” 

“Sh, you’re right where you belong,” Bokuto said to him, reaching down to kiss the top of his head. “You owe me these cuddles, you know.” 

“He has a point,” you said, and Bokuto gave your head a kiss, too. 

His arms loosened around you two to let you get comfortable, but he was stern in his request for cuddles. You rested your head on Koutarou’s chest, and Keiji curled into him, hugging his hips and using his stomach as a pillow. 

“I like being in the middle,” he giggled. “Akaashi’s usually here, he never gives me a turn!” 

“‘Cause it’s the warmest place,” Keiji mumbled. 

“And you get too hot,” you added. 

“I am pretty hot,” Bokuto said.

He was comfortable, he was happy. His mood had gone from the lowest low to the highest high so quickly - he was sure only you two could make him feel such extreme emotions; only his love for you both could cause those feelings. 

But in that moment, there was only one question on his mind. “So… when’s our trip?”

[soundofseventeen]

Cinnamon Roll (Xu Minghao)

MY LAST REQUEST FOR THIS ROUND WOW I’m finally through them ah! I have a couple things I’m working on otherwise, but I had to finish this first! I hope you all enjoy! (also rip it turned out longer than I planned but oh well) -Erin

Requested

(our lil le petit prince)

You and Xu Minghao never managed to get along. You weren’t entirely sure why you and your neighbor had such a rough relationship, but it had been that way ever since he moved in across the hall from you. 

Actually, that was a whole lie. You had a small idea as to why he bothered you so much. You had actually met him the day he moved in, and that was the start of this relationship. You often went to a cafe just next door to your apartment building, and the day that he moved in you had to wait in line behind him forever while he ordered not one, not two, but thirteen different drinks. You were late for work that day and got yelled at from your boss for being late. 

Plus, he took the last cinnamon roll. Right before they took them off the menu for the season.

You managed to get over that by the end of your work day (mostly), just ready to go home and curl up with your book and a glass of wine and relax. Yet, when you got home, you were constantly disrupted by the obnoxious levels of noise coming from across the hall. Your new neighbor and his friends had to be so damn loud, that you could barely focus on the book in front of you. 

You even marched across the hall, your bunny slippers showing your true rage, and scolded them to keep it down. You were a little taken aback to see the guy from the cafe, but quickly came back to reality and yelled at him. He had apologized, but you couldn’t ignore the humor in his voice as he did it, only causing you to become more upset. 

Therefore, you hated Xu Minghao. 

Your entire relationship seemed to be him beating you to things. He managed to make it to your cafe before you did, no matter how early you got up. He always made it home before you did, which gave you little time to breathe before his friends would show up, causing you to become irritated. You even began spending some evenings at friends places, hoping to make it back after they left. He always even managed to catch you in the hall, giving you that stupid smirk. It was almost as if he got some sort of joy out of mocking you. 

You started to think your irritation was becoming a little visible to other people as well. Every time Minghao was ahead of you at the cafe, the barista usually gave you your drink on the house. Plus whenever you saw his friends in the hallway, they would give you a small glance and smile, but nothing else. Aside from the ones who happened to be there when you originally yelled at Minghao, you were almost convinced that they might not actually even know who you are, but knew that you were irritated with Minghao. 

Honestly, you just tried to avoid every interaction with him possible. 

You just felt all kinds of emotions whenever he was around. You decided to go with that it was irritation you felt. Which you felt grow as you sat and waited for the bus one day, hearing that familiar voice. 

“Hey neighbor.” You looked up to see that familiar smirk on the tall boy, causing you to immediately sigh and roll your eyes, turning forward again. To your dismay, Minghao sat down right next to you, like he usually did. “Heading home?” 

“Where else would I be going tonight?” You said, pulling out your phone and pretending that the conversation with your mother about how many flowers she should put on a cake for your sisters was the most interesting thing you have ever read. 

“Ah, I’m heading to...” Minghao said, looking around. He started glancing around at the other people standing by the bus stop, eyes landing on one guy in particular. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t like the way he was glancing over at you. “I’m heading home too.” 

“Neat.” You muttered, rereading the last text for the tenth time. 

“So, what are your plans for tonight?” Minghao asked, still glancing at the guy. You saw the bus pull up, putting your phone in your pocket. 

“None of your concern.” You said, immediately getting up and making sure you were the first one on the bus. Minghao let out a sigh as you left. He was never entirely sure why you didn’t like him, he was just painfully aware that you did not, in fact, like him. He really tried to befriend you, but somehow whatever he did only seemed to irritate you more. It drove him nuts. 

He got a really bad feeling when he saw the suspicious guy he saw immediately go and stand behind you to get on the bus. Minghao looked at him, the feeling in his stomach getting worse. 

You boarded the bus, going and picking a seat near the back. You were about to plug your headphones in as some man sat next to you. He gave you a small smile, which you nodded at, putting in your headphones to zone out for a bit. You noticed Minghao sit down a couple seats away, but elected to ignore that. 

The man started to talk to you, but with your headphones in you hadn’t heard him. You jumped as he put a hand on your leg, causing you to look at him. 

“Please don’t touch me.” You said, taking your headphones out. Minghao glanced back, that bad feeling growing further from the look on your face. 

“Come on, we could have some fun tonight.” The guy said, making you feel very uncomfortable. 

“I’m not interested.” You said, turning back to the window, but the guys hand went back to your leg. 

“You know we could just head back to my place and-”

“Excuse me.” You both looked up, seeing Minghao standing next to your seats. “You’re in my seat.” He said, looking at the guy next to you. 

“Says who? It’s a public bus.” 

“Says me.” Minghao said, giving him a very intimidating look. “And them.” 

“You know this guy?” The guy looked at you, which as you looked at Minghao, for once you actually felt grateful to see him there. 

“Yeah, I do. So you should leave.” You said, the guy looking back at Minghao. Minghao just raised an eyebrow, holding out a hand to gesture for him to leave. 

“Whatever. Your loss.” The guy said, letting out a huff and getting up to leave. Minghao quickly sat in his place, placing his backpack on his lap. 

“Are you alright?” Minghao asked, glancing over at you. You noticed his face had softened quite a bit towards you. You nodded your head, causing Minghao to nod back. You both sat in silence, you looking out the window, Minghao looking straight forward. You heard him exhale at one point, only to notice that the guy had gotten off the bus. You continued to watch the streets go by, trying not to think about the fact that Minghao was sitting next to you. And that for once you weren’t irritated by his presence. You were actually a little comforted by the fact that he was there. 

Once you got to your stop, Minghao stepped aside to let you off the bus first, then proceeded to walk with you back to your apartment. You kept the silence going, not entirely sure what to say. 

“...Thank you.” You eventually muttered, Minghao glancing at you. You weren’t entirely sure he heard you until he shrugged. 

“Don’t mention it.” Minghao took another deep breath, looking at you as you got to your apartment doors. “Although, I do have one question I’ve been wondering about for a while.” 

“Hm?” You looked at him, tilting your head. 

“Why do you hate me so much?” He asked, causing your eyebrows to shoot up. 

“I don’t…” 

“Y/N, come on. You definitely don’t like me. Did I do something to you? Did I say something? Did I somehow offend you when we first met?” You couldn’t help but start to feel bad at the look on Minghao’s face. So, you took a deep breath and told him exactly why he irritated you so much all this time. 

“...That’s it?” He said, blinking at you. “That’s it?! That’s the reason? I made you late for work by ordering 13 drinks?” 

“And you took the last cinnamon roll.” You muttered, further going into how he had his friends over and extra loud that same day. 

“Wow… And you hated me this whole time because of that?” 

“I wouldn’t say it was hate just… irritation.” 

“Well,” Minghao chuckled, shaking his head. “I am truly sorry for ordering a lot of drinks, making you late, taking the last cinnamon roll, and keeping you up to the point that you had to come yell at me.” He took your hand in both of us, held it to his chest, and put the most dramatic sorrowful look on his face he could muster. “From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry.” 

Before you could stop it, a laugh came from your throat, the grin growing on your face. Minghao’s eyebrows raised at the sound, a smile coming to his own face. 

“Yeah, okay weirdo. Go inside before you make a fool of yourself.” You said, taking your hand back. 

“Oh, I’m not staying. My friend Hosh wasn’t to go to a dance studio tonight and I promised I would go with him.” 

“Wait, then why did you come all the way home?” You asked as Minghao started to walk down the hall. 

“Had to make sure you got home okay. See you around Y/N.” He grinned, officially exiting the hallway. 

You stood in the hallway for a minute, not sure what just happened. Suddenly, Minghao wasn’t that irritating to you. 

The next couple times you saw Minghao, you had a whole new set of feelings rush through your body. They felt similar to what you used to feel when you saw him, but now you also felt nervous? Or a little anxious? You were very curious to see if he still irritated you in the same way, but you were also terrified to see if he didn’t. Because if he didn’t, and you still got the feelings when you saw him… 

That wasn’t good. 

A few weeks later, you were a couple people behind him in line at the cafe, pretty much like you did every single damn day. You hadn’t particularly hung out with him or spent a lot of time with him, but you had stopped trying to avoid him. It wasn’t fair to him that you were avoiding him because of a grudge from forever ago. You started to even say hi to him when you saw him in the hallway. He was startled by it at first, but slowly started to get used to you actually greeting him instead of ignoring him. 

Minghao didn’t seem to see you, which you were a little thankful for. It gave you a chance to calm down your head a bit. It started to get all fuzzy when you saw him lately. You watched as Minghao paid for his order thanking the cashier. You managed to look down quick enough for him not to see you as he left, exhaling a bit to yourself. 

Once you got to the counter, you went to place your normal order when the cashier, like usual, said it was covered. You did the normal game of asking if he was sure, and he just smiled and nodded like normal, sending you to the pickup counter. You gave him a big smile and thank you, heading to the pickup counter to wait for your coffee. When your name was called, you went up with a smile, that smile dropping when you saw what was there for you. 

There was your regular coffee order, and a cinnamon roll in a bag. 

“Oh… I’m sorry, I don’t think this is mine…” You said, looking at the barista. 

“You’re Y/N?” He asked, you nodding your head. “Then it’s yours.” You looked at the pastry, feeling a little bad. 

“I… Why do you always give me free stuff?” 

“Hm?” He looked back at you, raising an eyebrow. 

“Every time I’m in here you give me my coffee for free. Why do you do that?” 

“Oh, we don’t do that.” He smiled. “Your boyfriend always pays when he gets his coffee and just tells us to give it to you when you come in.” 

“...My what?” 

“That tall guy, kinda thin, light hair. Whenever he comes in he buys his drink and then pays for yours too.” You blinked at him, looking at the drink. 

Minghao has been getting you coffee this whole time? 

“That’s… He’s not my boyfriend…” The barista looked at you for a second, then shrugged his shoulders. 

“He sure seems to like you. When he first asked about you he got one of those goofy grins on his face.” He said, then went back to making the next drink. You stood there for a couple seconds, only coming back to reality when the person behind you tapped your shoulder, asking you to scoot over so they could grab their drink. 

As soon as you got home from work that day, you were slightly disappointed that Minghao wasn’t home. You had been thinking about it all day. Why was he doing that? Why would he do that for you this whole time especially if he thought you hated him? 

For one of the first times, you felt your heart rate increase as you heard the door across the hall open and close. You long since stopped being annoyed by that, especially since you and Minghao were kind of friends now. Yet you had yet to be excited when you heard it. Granted, he usually got home earlier than you did. 

You debated for a while about when would be an appropriate time to go talk to him. You didn’t want to go over too early because you didn’t want to catch him as soon as he got home from work but you didn’t want to wait too long because you didn’t want him to get too settled in for the night and disturb him. You actually debated long enough that you determined you might as well just go now. 

You took a deep breath, slowly reaching a hand up and knocking on Minghao’s door. There wasn’t a response, so you knocked again, a little louder this time. You were about to turn around and walk back across the hall when the door opened, a startled Minghao standing on the other side. 

“Y/N?” He said, clearly surprised. “What are you doing here? Are you alright?” 

“Oh, yeah.” You let out a laugh, seeing Minghao relax a little bit, but still confused. “Uhm, I just wanted to talk to you about something.” 

“And what would that be?” He asked, tilting his head. 

“I wanted to ask why you… Minghao is something burning?” He sniffed the air a bit, turning back into his apartment. 

“Oh shit.” He quickly ran back into the apartment, disappearing behind a wall. You awkwardly stood in the hallway, looking into Minghao’s apartment. You didn’t really know what to do now. Eventually, Minghao’s head popped back from behind the wall, looking at you curiously. 

“You can come in, you know.” He laughed, disappearing again. You jumped back to reality, stepping into the apartment and closing the door behind you. You walked down the hallway, looking around. 

His apartment wasn’t what you pictured. There wasn’t too much stuff around, a couple small items here and there, but otherwise it was simple. The only sign that somebody had lived there was the canvases throughout, some covered in paint, some partially covered, others still blank. You also noticed the different paints scattered across the couches, brushes strewn everywhere. 

“Sorry about the mess.” You jumped and turned around, seeing Minghao leaning on the wall. “I uh… I wasn’t really expecting company right now so I didn’t have a chance to clean up.” 

“Oh it’s… You paint?” You pointed back at the art supplies. You never would have suspected that of Minghao. You were starting to wonder how well you actually knew him. He got a shy smirk on his face, nodding his head. 

“Here and there. It’s a… release I guess. Something to do to clear my mind.” He walked back into the kitchen, stirring a pot of something. “Did you want to stay for dinner?” 

“Hm?” 

“This recipe makes too much for one person and Mingyu is out of town. If you want to stay you’re more than welcome.” Minghao said, glancing at you. 

“Oh… Uhm, sure. What are you making?” 

“An old recipe my mom used to make. Kind of felt homesick today, so it seemed like a nice choice.” Minghao said, you nodding your head. 

“Do you want help?” You asked, feeling awkward just standing in his apartment. 

“No, that’s okay. It’s almost done.” He moved around, getting some bowls and utensils. You walked into the kitchen, seeing it a little more cluttered than the rest of his apartment. He handed you a bowl full of food, nodding his head towards the table. Once he came over, he even brought two wine glasses and a bottle, swearing that it perfectly matched with the dish. 

You found that dinner actually went really quickly. And you actually enjoyed yourself throughout it. Minghao was actually… Kind of funny? It was a sense of humor that you weren’t used to, but you still found him humorous. He asked you all of the questions, and listened to each of your stories, laughing himself when he found it funny. Before you knew what happened, both your bowls were empty, and you both had just been sitting talking for an extra half hour. Then you glanced at the clock, realizing just how long you had been there. 

“Oh, I should probably go. I have an early day tomorrow.” You said, suddenly feeling a little sad by the idea. 

“Ah, yeah me too. The early day, I mean.” He laughed again, taking the bowl from in front of you. 

“Do you want me to help clean up?” You offered, Minghao just shaking his head. 

“Nah, I have to separate it in a specific way for my friends.” 

“Your friends are that picky, huh?” 

“No, just some of them like this more than others and some of them eat more than others do so it’s easier to separate it now.” He said, starting to walk you to the door. 

“That… Makes sense?” You laughed, Minghao nodding. He opened up the door, letting you pass by. “I guess… Thank you for feeding me.” You smiled, Minghao shrugging his shoulders. 

“No problem. I like having company.” He grinned. You nodded, turning to open your own door. “Wait, Y/N?” 

“Hm?” You turned to look back at him. 

“What did you want to ask me?” You stared at him for a second, a little confused. “You came over to talk to me about something. What was it?” 

“...Oh!” You suddenly remembered the coffee. “Why do you buy my coffee every day?” 

“What?” 

“I haven’t paid for my coffee for weeks and today…” You thought about it, not really wanting to sell out the barista. “Today there was a cinnamon roll with it.” 

“Oh yeah I heard those were back at the cafe. Must be a seasonal thing.” He commented, you raising an eyebrow. 

“So, you’re not the one who does pays for my drink every day? Because I seem to recall telling you I had a grudge with you partially over a cinnamon roll and now all of a sudden when they’re back in season, my usually on the house coffee came with an on the house cinnamon roll.” You said, tilting your head. 

“...Alright, you caught me.” He said, another shy grin coming to his face. “Yeah, sometimes I pay in advance for your coffee because I know you are coming in shortly after me.” 

“...Why do you do that?” You asked, Minghao shrugging his shoulders. 

“I don’t know. I like you.” He simply said, waving a hand and shutting the door. You stood in the hallway for a second, processing the fact that Minghao just said he liked you. Making a quick decision, you took two steps forward and knocked on the door. 

Minghao opened the door again, barely opening his mouth to say something when you leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his cheek, quickly turning and running into your own apartment. Minghao stood there for several seconds, a grin growing on his face before he turned back into his own apartment. 

The next morning, you did your normal routine. You got ready, ate a quick small breakfast, brushed your teeth, grabbed your bag, and made your way out of your apartment. You took your normal elevator ride, and were about to make your usual route to the cafe. 

Except today when you stepped outside your building, Minghao was waiting outside. 

“You take a long time, you know that?” He said as you stared at him. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I figured I’d wait for you this morning. It’s been like, 15 minutes. We have to adjust that otherwise I’m going to start being late for work.” He grinned, starting to walk towards the cafe. “You coming?” You blinked a few times, going to follow him. 

“You didn’t have to wait.” You commented, Minghao doing that darn shrug again. You could get used to that shrug. 

“I wanted to.” Minghao simply said, looking around. You let out a sigh, continuing to walk next to him. Suddenly, you felt his hand link with yours, causing you to look down to confirm that they were actually held together. 

“Is this okay?” He asked, you looking up at him. 

“It’s fine.” You admitted, clearly not the answer that Minghao was expecting. He suddenly let go of your hand, muttering something. You quickly rolled your eyes, reaching out and relinking the hands. 

“I-”

“Just hold my hand.” You sighed, looking at him and giving him a small smile before approaching the cafe. 

You both laughed as you walked up to the counter at the cafe, the barista’s only comment being that it was about damn time, which, admittedly, you had to agree.

[phoenixrisesoncemore]

I was tagged by @wangxianbunnydoodles (oh my, this is long and you might regret it; also I don’t follow instructions well 😉). I tend not to be very good at these things (sorry to anyone else who has tagged me in these kinds of things before—this is a rare event happening mostly because I wanna talk about Tolkien books and ships) but here goes:

Top 3 Ships

I don’t actively ship characters that often. I’m not sure why that is. I do enjoy reading fic with pairings either canon or not, but I don’t often go “all in” on ships in most narratives I consume. There are notable exceptions (more than three but these are the three most recent—I have no idea how to identify my top ships):

WangXian (CQL). This is surely obvious from the current state of my blog, right? I blame The Untamed and its impossibly tender, only-subtextual-by-a-hair’s-breadth romance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show express ultimate devotion, deep affection, true appreciation, complete understanding (eventually), and the sheer *necessity of the other* between two people quite like this one has. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen two characters and desperately wanted them together and happy as much as I have these two, so bravo to the cast and crew for generating such second-hand devotion in me.

Silvergifting (Tolkien). This is all @thearrogantemu’s fault. I’d read some Silvergifting before I read These Gifts That You Have Given Me, mostly out of curiosity (some good stuff, too!), but I had never read any Tolkien fic that convinced me it was *true* (on many, many levels, though the ship level is the one pertinent to this post). In any canon-like universe this ship hurts, but in the Gifts universe it hurts the most; it hurts like Hell. It hurts in the way only razor-sharp, sorry-the-universe-works-this-way, oh-are-those-my-entrails-on-the-floor-I-didn’t-even-feel-the-knife tragedy can hurt. And it’s so convincing that it’s just...a fact now. Tolkien just forgot to tell us. So now I ship Silvergifting, but most deeply, specifically THAT Silvergifting. (Meanwhile, 14 year old me continues to look at *significantly* older me like I’m insane.)

ZeLink (Legend of Zelda). Deep down I’m still 12 years old and no amount of fine lines and wrinkles is going to change that. When is Breath of the Wild 2 coming out?

Last Song

I listen to soundtracks and bombastic and dramatic orchestral pieces much more often than I listen to what people mean when they say “songs,” and a significant chunk of the “songs” I listen to are from musicals/operas.

Earlier today it was Hanz Zimmer’s soundtrack to Dark Phoenix (don’t start me up on the continuing disappointment that Phoenix adaptations continue to be to me—you don’t want to hear it; even I don’t want to hear it).

Before that it was Barbra Streisand’s The Broadway Album. (I prefer her outer space cover of “Somewhere” to the actual thing. Fight me.)

Before that it was Carmina Burana (One of my favorite things ever was when we went to a live performance of Carmina Burana and a boy who couldn’t have been more than 7 years old sat in the aisle in front of us and head-banged enthusiastically through “O Fortuna.” It was so metal. You go, kid. You get it.).

Before that it was a splattering of Billy Joel hits with emphasis on “2000 Years”, “River of Dreams”, “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”, “The Stranger”, and “Only the Good Die Young” (thanks to that outstanding WangXian interpretation!).

Of course the soundtracks to The Untamed/CQL have been on repeat for weeks around here, particularly every single iteration of “WuJi” and the flute-heavy instrumental pieces (man, those are good!).

Not long ago I had Sarah Brightman’s covers of “Figlio Perduto” from La Luna and “Glosoli” and “One Day Like This” from Dreamchaser burning through my iPhone battery (yes, I like popera).

Enya, and especially Shepherd Moons and The Track Which Shall Not Be Named has been on repeat a lot.

Last Movie

I don’t sit down to watch movies that often any more. It just takes too much stillness and undivided attention and more resistance to multi-tasking than I have. The actual last movie that I watched (in a “have it on on another screen while I work” kind of way) was Raiders of the Lost Ark, which, of course, I’ve seen umpteen times and which followed a similar rewatch of the Back to the Future trilogy. The last movie I watched completely without distraction was Book Smart; I don’t watch comedies very often, but I really enjoyed it in an “OMG, I can totally relate to this” kind of way (except for the class president thing—that would have required that I interact with other people my own age and also not be homeschooled). Before that I think it was the Tolkien biopic. Man, I still haven’t written anything about that.

Currently Reading (in order of when I started them)

Oh dear.

The Familiar: part 1, Mark Z Danielewski. *sigh* For as much as I think Danielewski is brilliant and House of Leaves is one of my favorite books ever, I’ve just not been able to get into much of his other work. It’s universally a time and energy investment to penetrate and puzzle through, and I just don’t have as much of that as I used to. House of Leaves makes that investment worth it from early on and is absolutely a page-turner once you settle in, but other than The Fifty Year Sword I’ve just not been able to get into the rest of his work. The Familiar: part 1 is supposed to be the first in a 26 part series which is currently halted at part 4, I think. Without a guarantee of all parts ever being published, I don’t think I’m ready to invest more time into part 1 and may end up abandoning it, unfortunately.

History of The Hobbit, Douglas Anderson. Anderson did what Christopher didn’t and gave The Hobbit the HoMe treatment (if a bit less literal and opaque in format). It’s fascinating (I mean, there’s the Beren and Luthien name drop you were not expecting right there in the first draft), but reading essentially the same passages with only small changes over and over can be a slog, so reading it has been an ongoing project for over a year now.

Splintered Light: Logos and Language in Tolkien’s World, Verlyn Fleiger. This is Fleiger’s look at Tolkien’s Middle-earth in light of his association with Owen Barfield. Particularly, she is examining Tolkien’s work in conjunction with Barfield’s Poetic Diction and his thoughts on language and meaning. I have not read Poetic Diction, but I probably will now since it apparently addresses language formation as related to the origin of human consciousness which is SO up my alley.

New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton. My late sister-in-law had a masters in theology from Notre Dame and became a huge Merton fan. Meanwhile, my best friend actually spent a weekend retreat at The Abbey of Gethsemani. Between hearing about him from the two of them, I developed an interest in Merton. I happened to read “Moral Theology of the Devil” a couple of years ago. It was one of the most illuminating theological things I have read and deeply inspired my own Tolkien fic-writing (let’s just say the progress there is otherwise slow). This book is a collection of pieces which happens to contain that piece, and I’ve been skipping around through it for a while now.

The Lord of the Rings reread (Tolkien, obviously). I hate this, but I am so deep in so many critical Tolkien books that I’ve not had the chance to really sit down and relax into my reread for months and months and will likely just end up starting over. Plus I want to read it concurrently with the next entry in this list and the next entry is taking longer to get through because of its format. That entry being:

The Lord of the the Rings: A Reader’s Companion, Hammond and Scull. This is a treasure trove of data and insights for those really wanting to dig critically-historically into The Lord of the Rings on a chapter-by-chapter, passage-by-passage basis. The only issue with it is that jumping back and forth between the two (as you have to: this is a reference book) tends to kill the mood of The Lord of the Rings when read as it’s meant to be read: for enjoyment!

The Power of Limits: Proportional Harmonies in Nature, Art, and Architecture, Gyorgy Doczi. This has been an ongoing read here and there since Christmas, especially as I work on two personal projects.

The Gospel in a Pluralist Society, Lesslie Newbigin. To be honest I don’t think I am going to finish this one. I like a few of the things he says, things I think are truthful and which need to be confronted in American Christian culture in particular, but it’s just too much Calvin for my taste, too many assumptions I do not share being the heretic that I am, and I spend too much time anger-notating about theology to read it with grace.

In Full Measure I Return to You, thearrogantemu. This is a reread of the (relatively) happy AU fic for my most favoritest Tolkien fic (Gifts), but I’ve put my reread on hold while I finish one of the two projects, after which I am diving in and screw the rest of this list for the time being.

Food Craving

Sushi. My kingdom for some good sushi. I’ve only had sushi once since we got back from NY and while it was the best sushi I have had locally IT WAS NOT OMAKASE AT SUSHI NOZ. It also didn’t require a personal loan to pay for, but *shrug* I’m spoiled now and will forever crave what I can no longer have.

People I’d Like To Get To Know Better

I hate tagging people in these things because I’m awkward and shy and do them so rarely myself that it feels hypocritical for me to ask it of others. That being said: if you’re a follower of my blog and you want to do this, please do! And please tag me! I’d love to get to know more about you 😊.

[eyesontheskyline]

(about the whole fic writer asks, except those answered now) the story specific ones have to be about 'but if you really hold me tight' - I love all your cxg fics and it's the longest one :D) it's just I'm thinking of getting back to writing and since you're of my favorites authors out there now i'd love to get some insight. kudos for being cool about it!

Hello!  Okay first of all thank you so much, that is a ridiculously big compliment and my face hurts.  And yes yes yes you should definitely write if you feel like writing - just go for it!  If you have any specific questions or you want a pep talk or whatever, message any time :) 

Okay I’m gonna put these under a Read More because wall of text.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Right now only Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  I wrote for Criminal Minds under a different name then had a gap of several years.  I’m pretty far removed from CM now but I can safely say writing for CXG has been a nicer experience community wise (partly a smaller fandom thing and I suspect partly a demographic thing), and there’s more established character stuff to work with because all the character development isn’t like…  Crammed in the five minutes they have to work with either side of the crime solving.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.I don’t really do either, but reader inserts are kind of a squick of mine honestly, so I’m gonna say OCs.  I’ve only written OC kids though.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?I am not entirely sure what this means…  Fic genre?  Original media genre?  I have only ever written romance or friendship stuff for TV shows, an odd balance of fluff and angst?

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?Mmm let the sun inside has a special place in my heart because it was the thing that got me back into writing after a really long gap and turned out pretty much how I wanted it to.  Writing it was just a very intense ‘I am writing again and my brain is on fire’ experience for me.

7) When is your preferred time to write?I would love to have a less dysfunctional answer to this, but probably between 1 and 4am unfortunately?  That can’t be a thing on work nights because I get up at 6.30.  If I can get myself on a roll early afternoon in a coffee shop though, that’s a better feeling.  Just… Less common than ‘the rest of the world around me is asleep and my brain just woke up’.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Oh everywhere.  The media I write fic about.  The stories I read.  My life, my friends.  The world.

9) In but if you really hold me tight, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?Oh god I really don’t know.  This story is really hard for me to have perspective on because of the ridiculously time pressured way I wrote and published it.  I’m probably proudest of chapter 12, where they discuss the ‘do we want a baby’ question properly, because that just…  Is an important conversation that you don’t really see in media?  I’m not sure it’s the best writing in the story, but I’m glad I didn’t chicken out of it.  I also enjoyed writing Rebecca meeting Plimpton Senior in chapter 19, because that feels like an opportunity the show missed and I will never see enough versions of it in fic honestly.  (Do you have a favourite?)

10) In but if you really hold me tight, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?That one was pretty much always going to end where it did – just because of the format, it was always going to end in a fluffy happy place around midnight on the 1st of January 2021. The last chapter was going to be longer originally, with more characters getting a moment, but it was just getting kind of unfocused – Rebecca POV can handle tone shifts pretty well I think because of the way her brain is wired, but at some point it all just got a bit messy so I pared it back.  I think I’m pleased with how it turned out, but the chaos of writing it is still fresh enough that it’s hard to tell!

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Nah, but I’ve fixed typos (thank you @what-the-elle-n!)

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I find Valencia and Paula pretty difficult.  I love them, but I struggle.

14) How did you come up with the title - You can ask about multiple stories.(Since it says multiple and since I only have 3 currently…)  Everything I’ve published for CXG so far has had song lyric titles – mostly because I am not good at poetic turns of phrase, and I like lyricists who are.  (I’m also not a particularly romantic person, and I like lyricists who are!)

let the sun inside is from Ribcage by elbow.  The full line is ‘I wanted to explode – to pull my ribs apart and let the sun inside’, which feels to me like that feeling of having bottled everything up for so long that you just can’t feel anything anymore until you kind of break down and come out the other side?  And Rebecca = sunshine, so.  That is basically the premise of the story, so that was a stroke of luck.

the landing light is from K2 by elbow (I swear I listen to other music, they just have words that really lend themselves to fanfic titles lol).  I have a whole meta thing written to publish alongside the last chapter about why this song for this story, but basically the line is ‘Dickhead’s done a runner and he’s wondering if anyone cares – is the landing light on?’ which is just someone far from home feeling a bit stupid and homesick and wondering if there’s anybody waiting at home for him.  And of course Nathaniel comes home to a totally miserable situation and there Rebecca is.

but if you really hold me tight…  It had to be a lyric from a Christmas song, preferably one Frank Sinatra sang at some point, because that was the playlist I started listening to in mid-October while outlining this madness.  So it’s from Let It Snow, obviously, although that exact line is not in that version, ssshhhhhh (he sings ‘but if you’ll only hold me tight’).  I chose it because R&N being a team and getting through stuff together in a mostly-fluff-but-not-entirely way was kind of what I was aiming for, and it just felt like it fit.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I kind of have an OC coming up in a story I’m writing now, and I just… Knew who named them, and tried to choose a name those people would choose.  I don’t really do OCs much in fic, but in not-fic (it’s been a while!) I try to go for a name that (1) means something, and importantly (2) I can imagine their parents having named them.

16) How did you come up with the idea for but if you really hold me tight?So a writer I used to read a lot from the Criminal Minds fandom did a Christmas fic a couple of years in a row – one short, mostly fluffy chapter for each day from the 1st-25th of December.  So that was the plan.  Except as soon as I started outlining it, I knew I couldn’t write an entire month fluffy and problem-free for these two (for anyone, but especially these two), so short and fluffy didn’t stick!

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.“I’ve gotten better at a lot of things since you’ve been away, but my self-deception skills have taken a real hit.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yeah, I abandoned a few Criminal Minds fics.  I still feel bad about them actually – I get comments on them occasionally. (On the offchance anyone reading this is someone who feels nervous about commenting on old stories – these delight me in ways you cannot imagine.)  I ran out of steam in a lot of ways – I started them without any real idea where I was going and wrote myself into a corner, mostly, but also I was starting to really struggle to write unprompted.  I am not the most mentally well person, and I just got my brain into this spirally tangle where I thought nobody wanted to read anything they hadn’t asked for, so I filled a lot of prompts but couldn’t convince myself to write anything else.  It feels really weird to think about that now, which I guess is a good sign…

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?I toy with following the emotional arc of S4 but following let the sun inside sometimes – that was the plan, when I originally finished it and was panicking that I would never get another idea.  Also, but if you really hold me tight created a world of warm domesticity for R&N that I felt really sad leaving behind, so I would probably like to write in the timeline again.  And the landing light might get a oneshot sequel, depending on whether I end it the way I think I’m going to or the way I was originally planning to…

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?No, not in this fandom.  I’ve only written two endings though!  I’ve ended on some real cheeseball final lines in the past though.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@heartbash, who can do plot and slow-burn in a way my impatient ass will never be capable of.  @justwanted2dance who deserves a million flame emojis and writes BDSM stuff in a way that makes my anxious brain comfy enough to enjoy it (literally nobody else has achieved this).  @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace who writes the loveliest fluff and is a badass individual.  @notbang and @anthropologicalhands and @catty-words and @akisazame and @romansuzume who write beautifully and can do those poetic turns of phrase I am not good at.  I’ve got to be forgetting someone but wowww there is so much talent and creativity in this lil room.  So many people to be inspired by.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?God yes, but not in this fandom.  It’s fine, 19 or 20 year old me, you were learning.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Silence.  Or like white noise or the Hufflepuff Common Room 10 hour ASMR video on youtube or something lol.  Anything with words just ruins me – my attention span is laughable.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Ha yes actually, but I’m really not entirely sure why.  Sometimes my brain is just a really weird place to be.

26) Which part of but if you really hold me tight was the hardest to write?It depends how you measure hardest, I guess.  Several of the smut scenes just said ‘[insert sex]’ for the longest time, sometimes with descriptions?  So like ‘[insert feelingsy sex]’ or whatever lol.  In terms of getting voices right (like to the point of still being unsure whether it’s any good), this gurl group chapter.  

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?It really depends.  Usually I know roughly where I’m going and how I’m getting there and that’s good enough for me, but my NaNo fic got an outline because of the format and timescale. And I’m planning a thing with an actual plot arc (gasp!) so that’s getting an outline, in the hope of making it look vaguely romance novel shaped.  Basically it depends on the length of the thing for me, and how plotty it is.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?Writing advice: if you’re struggling to move past a particular point, the thing you need to change is probably a few lines back.  It’s rarely the last line that painted you into the corner. If you think something needs to come out, paste it into an outtakes document – you might want to put it somewhere else later, or salvage lines from it or whatever, and it’s just easier to let go if you’re not actually hitting delete.

Posting advice: remember fandom is community – everyone is here because they love the thing you love.  They’re gonna be excited there’s a new story to read, and they’re rooting for you!  (Write the thing!)

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Nahh I mean, it’s a smaallll fandom.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?Again, smaaalll.  (Also I try not to publicly eye roll at things other people love even if they are my things – there’s nothing quite like loving a song just for the band to be like ‘ugh I fucking hate that song’, so I always try to keep that in mind.)

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)You did not send me a rec!  Feel free to send me one now!  In fact, open call, everyone send me fic recs, even if I’ve definitely read them.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?Mm no I don’t do OCs.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I mean, I enjoyed hearing that someone read my story in the corner at a party lol, especially because it was a chapter I was pretty pleased with and nervous about.  Also any time anybody says something I wrote is a headcanon or ‘this should have happened in the show’ is a glittery feeling. When somebody notices a little clue or detail that isn’t obvious, it makes me ridiculously happy.  Humans reading my thing then saying something about it is still crazy, so, yeah.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Story time: my old fandom has this one character who has a lot of pretty hardcore stans.  I mostly dislike the word stan but like…  Yeah.  So anyway, I got an email saying I had a new comment on my ficlet collection (keeping in mind I was in my ‘very unhealthy relationship with feedback’ stage at this point), and clicked on it all happy, and all it said was ‘I didn’t read this because another comment said it doesn’t contain enough *stanned character* and you really should warn people upfront that he isn’t gonna be in it, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time on it’.  Which was just…  A bizarre comment.  Like, commenting to say you didn’t read the thing is weird in itself, but also you list the characters who are in the thing, not all the ones who aren’t?? Anyway, I then went on my tumblr and I had several anon messages that were just straight up hate along the same lines and…  Yeah.  The Criminal Minds fandom was a strange place. On a related note, have I told you today that I love you, CXG people?  I love you.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I am basically always up with talking stuff through with people.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?This is actually difficult to do right now.  There’s a baby?

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I mean, I made myself laugh a couple of times in my festive fic, but I’m more of a ‘this one line is funny’ writer than a ‘this story is funny’ writer.  I’m too angsty!

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.This question is faaar too terrifying.  I’ve actually never collabed with anyone, I’d love to though.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third.  I think because I’ve only written for TV shows, no matter how closely you’re following one character, if you’re seeing them on a screen, you’re in third person.  So it’s just an extra struggle to make that jump to another POV for me.  I have written my not-fanfic mostly in first though, and I’ve read some lovely fic in first and second.  I’m just not good at it.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?One person.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?Hmmmm who is minor, really?  I find AJ difficult but fun.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?I don’t write anything plotty enough for this to be a thing!

44) What is the last line you wrote?“Mm, because you know how irresistible your weird old timey voices are.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?I want people to read the thing, honestly.  It’s a ‘reach out my lonely haaand’ moment with a little less melodrama.  I want it to be out in the world doing what it’s meant to do.  I also want it to be finished so I can read it – I get a very particular kind of happy feeling from reading a good sentence I wrote.

46) I really loved but if you really hold me tight. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Lol it felt really weird to type that in there when you didn’t actually say it directly, but you said all so here we are!  I’m just gonna take that compliment even though I wrote it…  When I started coming to the end of writing that story, I started to feel really sad about leaving behind the warm domestic feel of it, so if I ever feel more domestic fluff coming on, probably it’ll be set after that.  

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?You did not insert a made up title!  Although insert a made up title has potential for Rebecca hounding everyone she knows to help her title a song she wrote.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Is ‘let’s have an actual conversation about this’ a trope because that’s my brand so far!  I haven’t written anything particularly tropey, I don’t think, although the pull of ‘omg there was only one bed’ is strong right now!

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?Yes!  It was a Criminal Minds fic, Hotch/Prentiss, canon compliant (ish) missing scenes kind of deal.  I can’t remember the first CXG fic I read, which is ridiculous because it was a lot more recent.  I started writing CXG fic before I started looking for it, because I hadn’t been inspired to write in so long that I didn’t want to scare myself away.  I read some before publishing, but I can’t remember where I started.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?I can only dream of being mentally stable enough to have a consistent answer to this lol.  Angst comes more naturally to me, but writing angsty characters into happy situations is one of the ways I make sense of the world, so…  Fluff, maybe, as long as I can keep the characters screwed up, because they just…  Are.  And like, same.

[nouveauweird]

MEDIA INFLUENCES FOR MY WRITING (IN GENERAL)

I was tagged by Yah Yah of @fluoresensitive​ (thank you!). Since I’m not actively working on a single wip I chose some early and major influences for my work overall rather than just one project. These medias span from childhood to very recently! 

As you can see I am very much influenced by the science fiction and crime genres. Some of these works I was introduced to through school, others through chance or recommendation, and they all left lasting impression. The following WIPs take the strongest influence from these medias: The Puppeteer Plague (sci-fi thriller), Of Rust & Redwood Lungs (space opera? drama), Define Vitality (post apoc drama), Hyacinth Stalks (crime thriller).

TAGGING: @bebewrites - @blossomov - @skeletongrrl - @glittcrpeach - @queenie-dragon - @halohidings - & anyone who wants to tbh

This got long so I’ll put all of this under a cut!

The Magic Treehouse series by Mary Pope Osborne. These were a childhood favourite of mine, a mix of science and fantasy and adventure that made learning something empowering for children. 

The Pyx by John Buell. This pulp fiction has been lurking on my family’s bookshelves forever, since it’s one of my grandfather’s novels. I need to reread it to appreciate it properly because it’s been like 10 years. 

The Chrysalids by John Wyndham. I read this in grade 9 and fell in love with its subtle science fiction elements, its post-nuclear apocalyptic setting and the children who find themselves with tele-empathic abilities that make them a target of their hyper religious communities... 

The Host. Probably read this midway through high school after the Twilight craze had died down, but have reread it about 4 times and it makes me cry every time. Say what we will about Smeyer and silly hetero love triangles but she did some really cool worldbuilding with this, and those ideas have followed me ever since. I probably think about this book every time I shower, don’t ask me why.

The Stand (expanded and uncut edition). My dad has a few favourites, and among them are this book and Dune. He convinced me to read it when we were stuck in a cottage for two weeks when I was 14. I got the name Perion from this book, which I gave to one of my most treasured original characters. I also take inspiration from some of the plague and post apocalypse elements but little else.

Level 26: Dark Origins by Anthony E. Zuiker. I watched way too many crime shows as a teenager, and though I think the CSI shows were not so bad, this novel written by the executive producer was real bad. I absolutely shouldn’t have read this at 15 years old it was so fucked up, but it was also the first book to immediately hook me in in the prologue and held me in a tight grip of suspense the whole way through. I’ve never been more fucked up by a book before. The sequel is pretty good too. It is actually media based, and has codes every few chapters that you can plug into the official website where there are short clips shot with real actors that provide additional subplot to the book.

Fringe (2008-2013). This was my favourite show which I was so invested in I recall my sibling coming in to console me during a particularly intense season premiere bc I was sobbing so hard. What they did with some of the science fiction in this blew my mind, and some elements have followed me into my work now. 

Obscura by Joe Hart. I read this last year, and I’ve never really finished a book and wholeheartedly said that it deserved to have a TV adaptation. It’s narrative is suspenseful the sci-fi elements are compelling and the stakes are intriguing. It’s set in space, the main character is a mother, and the twist is fucking delicious.

Bloodchild by Octavia E. Butler. I read this for my sci-fi themed English class last year and was riveted. I haven’t read anything like it before. The whole class reacted strongly to it. I loved the alien species and I love the dynamics between them and the humans, who have become refugees on another planet, and a valuable resource too. Fucked up but in a very compelling way.

The Southern Reach Trilogy by Jeff Vandermeer. I started the first book at 9 pm before trying to go to bed, and got through the first 100 pages, I had to get up and go talk to by sibling Andy because I was so thoroughly skeeved out by the world Vandermeer had created. I put a lot of trust in this story, because the perspectives shift in the following books and I really wanted more from the Biologist, but ultimately it remains one of my favourite series and a huge influence for my science fiction work. 

Alien (1979) & Aliens (1986). The first “scary” movie I was introduced to as a kid. The monster/alien concept stuck with me and I rewatch the first two films (we ignore every subsequent film). Puppeteer Plague pays homage to the Xenomorphs, and in another WIP (Mare Levest 40) I named many of the crew after Alien Franchise characters.

iRobot (2004). Another action/sci-fi I was introduced to as a kid. It still startles me even though I know the story and have watched it many time. The robots were fucking cool. Spooner’s prosthetics are a major influence in Of Rust & Redwood Lungs (which is a Mars Settlement political drama).

The Expanse (show and books). I only recently got into this series, but it’s become a big inspiration for me for my own space opera wip. I have taken influence from The Martian, The Space Between Us, Interstellar and many other space-based medias for this piece, but The Expanse was the one to really dig in deep with the worldbuilding and I have a lot of respect for it especially because of its diversity of characters, but also representations of various sexualities. 

Runners Up: Panic at Rock Island for its plague themes, The Mentalist and Lie to Me for their unique approaches to crime, Terra Nova for its unique worldbuilding and for also making me fuckin sob during the finale (also shout out to the livejournal fanfic community I was in for that fandom, lmao, I gave Lt. Reilly the first name Laura and someone put it on the wiki), and Bioshock, The Last of Us, and Horizon Zero Dawn for worldbuilding elements. 

I legit didn’t realise I had so many sci-fi influences, damn. You’re a trooper if you read this far.

[abzulon]

Home

And I feel like for the very first time

Love in my arms and the sun in my eyes

I feel safe in the 5 am light

You’ll carry my fears as the heavens set fire

Someone wanted Tomato falling asleep at his desk so I wrote it and idk? Listening to the Animal Crossing soundtracks as well as Home from Undertale left such a peaceful feeling in my soul. This was almost therapeutic to write, even if it isn’t the best.

~~~~~~~

Tomato awoke to light dancing in his eyes and a heaviness on his body.  Last night’s paperwork weighed heavily on his mind, but it wasn’t important right now. He could smell the homely aroma of a cup of hot chocolate that flitted around the room, immediately putting his mind to ease. He never remembered making a cup of hot chocolate, and by now it was surely cold, but he found it strange.

His eyes still bleary from having just woken up, Tomato sat up, feeling a blanket he most definitely did not have with him fall off of his shoulders. He glanced around the room, and realized he must have fallen asleep at his desk. His workspace was much more organized than how he left it, and there were a few sticky notes littered on his desk. The rays of sunlight lit up the entire room, and the window was slightly parted, allowing a slight breeze to penetrate the otherwise still office that Tomato inhabited.

He then looked down at the blanket on the ground, instantly recognizing Buck’s favorite blanket. Buck never let anyone use his blanket, besides the occasional moment during their weekly movie nights when someone would share with him. Tomato slightly shifted in the uncomfortable chair, picking up Buck’s blanket and placing it in his lap. Everything else in the room remained untouched, which wasn’t unusual. Tomato was the only one who used the office, besides Criken or Bed coming in to grab the occasional book from the dust covered bookshelves in the corner.

Tomato snuck a glance at the clock on the wall as he folded the blanket. It was around 9am, which meant that Tomato had probably been asleep for what seemed to be a good 5 hours. He wasn’t planning on falling asleep that night, he meant to finish the paperwork, but he supposed he couldn’t complain. Sleep was important, as Buck would remind them whenever he slept in until noon.

After Tomato finished folding Buck’s blanket, he turned to the post-it notes on the desk. There were three of them, all in different colors and handwriting. He first looked at the post-it note on the cup that rested on the coaster. It was a yellow post-it note and from just a glance he could tell that Bed had written it based on the swooped curvature of the letters.

Tomato, I noticed you fell asleep at your desk so I made you a drink for when you wake up d(^v^)b I don’t know when you’ll read this but it should still be okay to drink and if not then sucks to be you I guess.

Tomato couldn’t help the soft, small smile that tugged at his lips. He set the post-it note down and reached for the cup. After a moment's hesitation, Tomato took a small sip. It was still slightly warm, which meant that it must have been made recently. He took another drink, and then set it back down to look at the second post-it note that was left near the small plant that resided on the edge of the desk near the window.

It was blue, and from the sloppy and erratic handwriting Tomato could only guess that Buck had written this note.

Mr. Tomato Gaming it is currently 5 am and I have yet to go to sleep so if this is hard to read then fuckin guess I guess anyways I’m entrusting you with my blanket since Criken decided to open the damn window and it’s cold as hell anyways when you wake up I want this back also sweet dreams or some shit

The younger male had a tendency to ramble, which was only amplified when he was sleep deprived. Still, Buck had given his blanket to Tomato last night, which was a rare occurrence, and was extremely appreciated. He could only hope that Buck went to bed, and when Buck finally awoke Tomato had to remember to thank him.

Still, Buck had mentioned Criken, which meant that the last post-it note had to be from him, as well as the reason why his desk was so organized and the window was open. The post-it note was plain white, and the handwriting was legible (and also in a black glitter pen), so Tomato thought it was safe to assume that the last post-it was from Criken.

To whom it may concern: I was originally going to wake you up, but you looked the most at peace I’d ever seen you, so I thought I would organize your papers and leave the window open. I also convinced Buck to let you use his blanket. I appreciate everything you do for us, even if it’s something as small as paperwork. Sleep, well, okay?

Tomato reread this note over a few times, soaking in the words. He slowly set it with the others, the smile that graced his face widening, and he took another sip of his drink.

He looked around the room, from the small houseplant on the desk to the dark oak walls to the bookshelf in the corner. He smelled the hot chocolate and felt the warm rays of the sun that were only rivalled by the warmness in his heart. Everything, from the office to his friends, which he was eternally grateful to have, felt like home. Anything that had been burdening his mind was cleared, leaving an overwhelming feeling of gratitude, safety, and homeliness.

Glancing at the clock one last time, he stood up, gathering his things (he took extra care with the post-it notes) and left the office. He would never admit it, but reading the notes and knowing his friends truly did care about him was the most jubilating feeling he could ever experience.

If Criken one day stumbled upon the post-it notes kept in perfect condition in one of his boxes he kept his favorite items in, he would never say anything about it.

[imagine-loki]

Monsters and Magic

TITLE: Monsters and Magic

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 3/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a vampire who helps the Avengers defeat an evil seethe of other vampires, and Loki befriends you after you end up in their custody

RATING: T (so far)

NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

     “You’re looking better, love,” Loki greeted you the next time he came down to visit. You bounced up from the cot and over to the glass of the cell when he spoke. He looked you over more closely when you were standing in front of him. “Yes, much better.” You saw earlier in the small mirror that you actually had a complexion again and the dark smudges under your eyes had faded. The not casting a reflection thing was only true in really old mirrors that still used actual silver for the backing. New mirrors didn’t cause you any trouble. You weren’t all the way well, not just with one small taste of blood after so long, but you were doing much better.

    “Thank you,” you told him sheepishly, still embarrassed over drinking your friend’s blood, especially straight from the vein…

    He saw your discomfort and didn’t acknowledge your thanks. Instead: “You still do not appear to be feeling completely well,” he started, a bit hesitantly, unsure, though wanting to make sure that you were ok. You wondered briefly why he cared so much about the monster who had literallydrank his blood.

    “Thanks ever so,” you told him sarcastically, choosing to pretend he was insulting your appearance so you didn’t have to answer his actual question which was whether you needed more blood. Before he could rephrase and actually ask and corner you into an answer you didn’t want to give, you changed the subject slightly. “How’d you get in here anyway? I thought you said that thing limits your powers,” you gestured to the piece of tech on his arm.

    “It does,” he replied, inclining his head. “So my teleporting is limited to the boundaries of the tower. I have been forbidden to help you escape, but…” he shrugged.

    “That doesn’t stop you from being able to come in and visit.” He inclined his head again. You wondered why he hadn’t before, but it was probably to keep up the appearance that he couldn’t, since he already wasn’t really supposed to be down here. You took your seat in front of the glass. “Did you finish reading The Hobbit?” you asked him.

    “Not yet, I decided to reread the Sarah Vida series first,” he replied too casually as he took his chair on the other side of the glass. He gave you a knowing look with those words. The Sarah Vida series was the first vampire book you had recommended to him, the one that was the most accurate. He wanted answers about vampires, which is why he was bringing the book up.

    You sighed heavily. “Stubborn god. You aren’t going to let this go, are you?” you asked. He kept finding ways to circle the conversation back to what he wanted to talk about.

    “Of course not. Surely you cannot blame me considering the state you were in yesterday, little one,” he replied pleasantly. Too pleasantly. He was worried about you, for rather good reason, but still… You also knew the pleasant tone wouldn’t stay around if you didn’t give him some answers…. or if you didn’t hesitate in a more acceptable manner.

    You twined your fingers together nervously. You hated talking about or thinking about what those stupid vampires had turned you into. “Can we have this conversation after I’m out of this stupid cell and can actually do something about the situation?”

    He thought about that for a moment. You saw he wanted to press for answers, but he finally inclined his head. “Very well,” he said with a knowing smirk.

    You caught the smirk and couldn’t help your excitement that nearly had you bouncing out of the chair. “You know something?” you demanded excitedly.

    He held a finger to his lips, though his smirk widened to a proper smile. “Soon, love. Soon enough that I am willing to wait patiently for more answers until then,” so really soon. Loki was not the most patient person ever.

    “More interference?” you asked.

    “Not directly. My last bit of interference was discovered, I’m afraid, and Director Fury is most displeased with me for it. So unfortunately, I cannot pull that same trick again, since they are watching for it. However, since it has come to the team’s attention that I’m down here every day spending time with you, they have asked my opinion on the subject. Not that I believe it did any good, given my past…” his voice was bitter at the last, but also, too modest. You wondered what he’d done that he wasn’t admitting to. Still, his bitterness made you sad and there was nothing you could do about it.

    “Loki…” you said softly and placed your hand against the glass. It was all you could do.

    He gave you a warm smile, obviously touched by your concern. “Don’t fret over me, love,” he bid you warmly. “Will you answer one question for me, though?” he asked softly. You nodded, much as you hated to answer any questions about what you were. “Are you going to be alright for a couple more days?” his tone was serious, truly concerned and wanting an honest answer.

    You thought over his question carefully and you saw that he appreciated that your answer would be thought out and truthful. You knew better than to try to lie to him. He was a human-shaped lie detector after all. “If it’s an actual couple of days and not Clint’s constant promise of a couple more days, then yes, I’ll be fine,” once you were out of this stupid cell you could figure out how to acquire something proper to eat. You’d have to convince them to let you out of the tower. Or write a super embarrassing shopping list.

    That was a bridge to jump off of later.

    Right now you and Loki both jumped to your feet when you heard all of the footsteps and voices coming down the hall. You waved to Loki and darted back toward the cot. You didn’t want to get Loki in trouble for being here when he wasn’t supposed to be. Loki vanished in a shimmer of green magic as expected. You were not expecting him to reappear right next to you in the cell. You would have shrieked in surprise if he hadn’t clamped a hand over your mouth. “Shh,” he hissed in your ear. You nodded and he let you go. “That’s the entire team coming. I don’t know what they’re up to, but I dislike it, and I dislike leaving you alone to face it,”

    “Loki, go. You’ll just get in trouble for being here,” you told him softly, urgently. You wanted your friend out of danger.

    He chuckled, but obviously appreciated your concern. “Don’t fret over me, love. They won’t know I’m here unless they do something to you,” he told you. He placed his lips against your forehead with a warm smile. There was another shimmer of green magic and a little green snake was on your bed.

    “Right, shapeshifter,” you commented and lifted the pillow so he could hide under there. You sat on the bed with your book and were settled just in time to see the entire group of Avengers appear in front of your cell. You closed the book and looked up at them, wondering why they were all down here.

    “Hey, Kid,” Clint greeted you kindly. And because he was kind and liked you, Nat liked you too. You waved to them and stood from the bed, stepping toward the glass, though you heard the snake under your pillow hiss. Silly Trickster should’ve picked a better shape if he had wanted to stay with you when his brother’s idiot friends came to visit.

    “Where is Loki?” Thor asked you. He was always direct, but kind. You still hadn’t found out why he had nearly started crying the day they had brought you here. You’d have to ask Loki if he knew.

    You shrugged. “How should I know?” you asked instead of answering Thor’s question. There was no way for you to know where Loki was if he wasn’t in plain sight, at least not according to the others. If you didn’t answer the question, he couldn’t claim you were lying.

    “We needed to ask you about what happened yesterday…” Clint started. He didn’t want to ask, you saw it in his eyes.

    You were going to deny that anything happened, going to try lying to them, to protect you and Loki both, but Cap stopped you in his no nonsense way. “You drank his blood,” he told you simply.

    You sighed. “I assume there are cameras?” you asked them. You should have expected cameras. Tony nodded. You hesitated, but they were demanding answers. Needed to know how dangerous you were. “Then I’ll also assume that you saw that I was so weak from hunger that I couldn’t move?” you asked with just a touch of temper. They were really treating you unfairly. “That he had to offer multiple times, that even starved nearly to death he wasn’t in any danger, hurt in any way, or allowed to donate any more than the bare minimum to keep me… alive for lack of a better word?”

    “So it’s true? You really do need to drink blood to survive?” Clint asked hesitantly. He had deluded himself into thinking the human food was enough.

    “Trust me, I hate it just as much as you undoubtedly do,” you told them firmly. You hated what you’d become just as much as they thought you a monster. “It doesn’t mean I’m a danger to any of you, or humans in general. There are much more civilized and humane ways for vampires to get what they need than attacking humans,” you finally told them, still more grumpily than you should. They were accusing you of something that hadn’t happened. Except, you saw in their expressions that they weren’t accusing. This wasn’t an interrogation.

    Clint gave you a bright smile. “Thanks, Kid. Don’t worry, you’ll be out of here soon.” He told you kindly. You rolled your eyes. He’d been saying that for awhile. “I mean it this time. Your testimony just now and the footage should give us the last bit of leverage for Fury and SHIELD,” he explained. They actually stayed and chatted and you finally saw that though they hadn’t been around, they were all doing things to help your cause, and while the stupid glass cell sucked, you were partially here because it was safely underground. It still sucked, but the entire team promised it was just a few more days.

    “If you see Loki, would you kindly tell him I wish to see him?” Thor asked as they were all leaving. You promised that you would.

    Loki turned back to normal once they were all gone. He turned to you and grabbed your upper arms in a vice-like grip as he held you up on your tip-toes, forcing you to look at him. “Loki!” you protested, wondering what was wrong to make him so angry like this. “What is it? Put me down and talk to me,” you told him urgently. You squirmed, but his grip was tight and you were nowhere near up to full strength with only one small blood donation. Already the strength from the blood he had given you was fading.

    “What do you mean ‘bare minimum to keep you alive’?” he snarled. “You said you were ok,” he added, hurt and upset, thinking you’d somehow lied to him.

    “I said I’d be ok for a couple of days,” you reminded him with tears in your eyes. You hadn’t lied. You were careful in your wording. “Do you know how much I hated even taking that much of your blood, of anyone’s? I hate what I am and what I have to do to survive. You’re my friend and you never should have seen that side of me,” you told him, desperate for him to understand.

    “You’re the only one here who is remotely pleasant to me, and… my friend,” he told you firmly, though the word sounded foreign, or maybe like it wasn’t strong enough, but that couldn’t possibly be. “You’ve been here for months, why didn’t you tell me they were starving you to death, why not them?” he demanded, hurt that this had happened.

    “I didn’t want you to worry, and they already think I’m a monster without them seeing me drink blood straight from the vein like a heathen,” you told him. One of the many reasons you’d hated the vampires who had stolen you away. They ate humans and not volunteers either. “And it was only a couple more days, followed by-”

    “A couple more days,” he finished. He sighed and lowered you back onto your feet and wrapped you tightly in a hug. You sagged against him and laid your head on his chest. “Please, love, let me know what I can do to help you,” you looked up at him, hesitant, afraid of breaking your friendship.

    “You won’t think less of me?” you asked him softly.

    “Not a bit. You’re the strongest, most intelligent, and wonderful, caring, gorgeous lady I have ever met. You’re not a monster, and I won’t think less of you, I swear it,” he told you. You flushed under all of that praise and more-than-friendly compliments.

    You should have known better, but you finally nodded. “Alright…” you said softly. “I can’t summon things from here…” you started and sat on the cot. Your powers were drained too.

    “Just ask,” he told you gently and sat next to you. It had taken you forever to be comfortable enough in your friendship to ask him to get you books from the library upstairs. Asking him to use magic on your behalf was even harder. Especially when you had power of your own, but just not enough right now.

    “C-can you get a glass of red wine?” you asked softly, nervously. He didn’t ask why, didn’t ask questions, the glass just appeared in your hands. “You promise you don’t mind?” you asked him one more time.

    He rolled his eyes. “Y/N…” you were stalling, nervous, and didn’t want to ruin your friendship over something like stabbing him.

    “Do you have something sharp?” He always had daggers and one appeared in his hand. You took it from him and took his cold hand. “I’m sorry,” you told him softly and sliced his finger carefully. “I’m sorry!” you told him again at his soft hiss of pain.

    “It’s fine,” he reassured you as you flipped his hand over and let the wound drip blood into your glass of wine. It took a moment to get a proper concentration of blood in the wine. It wasn’t terribly much. When you had, you lifted his hand and licked his finger, closing the wound with vampiric power, just as you had before. “That’s it?” he asked dubiously. You had made a big deal out of a little blood in a glass of wine. He was expecting something bigger, more impressive.  You’d also taken less blood than you’d typically use for this.

    You nodded and summoned a little tongue of flame to heat the liquid in the glass. “It’s not the best Yarbarah, blood wine,” you clarified at his confused expression. “I’ve ever made, it’s better with mulled wine, but with limited means,” you shrugged and vanished your little flame.

    “Care to explain?” he asked, gesturing to the glass of wine you were sheepishly sipping on now that it was the proper temperature.

    “Civilized vampires drink Yarbarah, a glass every night. That and a shot-glass or so sized glass of undiluted blood once a month is usually enough to keep a vampire happy and healthy. It doesn’t have to be human blood either, animal also works,” you explained softly. You hated talking about vampire eating habits, but it seemed important to him to know. You peeked up at him, but he didn’t seem concerned or disgusted by what you’d told him, or what you were currently drinking. He was thinking over what you’d said and explained.

    “Oh, I was supposed to tell you that Thor’s looking for you,” you told him with a grin, hoping that he didn’t notice that your fangs were visible when you grinned. It happened, especially when you were actively drinking blood. He laughed, he had been in the room when Thor had made that request.

    “So I heard. I’ll go find him when you’ve finished that,” he gestured to the glass of wine. He’d make sure the wine glass vanished too so the others wouldn’t question it yet. You’d have to reexplain all of this later, but he’d help you now. So you sipped on your glass of wine and he told you old embarrassing stories about Thor. The glass vanished when it was empty. Loki stood from the cot and you joined him.

    “Thank you, for everything,” you told him softly, touched that he cared. He smiled and lifted your hand to bow over it and kiss your knuckles.

    “It is no trouble, love. No trouble at all for a dear…friend,” there was that hesitation again, was he so unused to having a friend? Or something else? He kissed your forehead. “Soon, love, I swear it,”

    “I know. Thank you again,”

    He gave you a warm smile and vanished in a shimmer of green magic.

    *

    Loki returned again the next day, materializing directly in your cell. “Sorry, love. I can’t stay long. My idiot brother is being more moronic than usual,” he looked truly apologetic.

    “It’s alright. You’re not exactly allowed to be down here,” you reminded him as you went over to him and only barely kept yourself from hugging him, unsure if it would be welcome. He seemed so reserved most of the time, except when he was initiating things like kissing your forehead. You still weren’t sure, though. Maybe you’d pluck up the courage before he left this time. He smiled and shrugged.

    “I don’t mind a little trouble, and no one minds that I’ve been keeping you company. I am supposed to be helping out the team in penance after all,” he told you with a grin. He considered you part of the team. He waved his hand and a new book and a glass of wine appeared on the little table beside the cell door.

    “Is that-?” you asked, looking at the glass of wine. He grinned, pleased by your response.

    “Of course it is,” he replied warmly, smirking too innocently. He’d thought this little surprise out. Of course he had, silly Trickster.

    “Loki, you shouldn’t have!” you protested, surprised by his thoughtfulness, and surprised that he would make the Yarbarah for you, and you knew exactly whose blood he had used for it: his. You could also smell from where you were standing that he’d even been listening when you’d told him it was better with mulled wine, since that what it was made with. You hadn’t meant or expected him to make you Yarbarah. He chuckled at your surprise and looked pleased with himself.

    “It was no trouble, love, but I really do have to go,”

    You stood up on your toes to kiss his cheek, surprising the god in return. “Thank you,” you told him softly.

    “You’re welcome, little one.” He vanished in a shimmer of green magic.

    *

    At Loki’s next appearance he walked up to the cell. “Hello, love,” he greeted you warmly as you jumped to your feet.

    “Hi, Loki,” you replied brightly.

    “I have something for you,” he told you with a Cheshire cat grin.

   ��“And what would that be, silly Trickster?” you asked with a smirk. He was up to something and having too much fun about whatever it is. He held up a hand and from his long fingers dangled a set of keys. Your eyes lit up in excitement. “Finally?” you asked, too excited.

    “Yes, finally,” he replied and opened the cell door. You rushed out of that stupid cell and wrapped your arms around Loki’s neck. He stiffened in surprise, but chuckled, your excitement and happiness infectious, and his arms circled around you. “Come on, love, let me show you around. There are only a couple of floors that have been set up for you, but Stark is working on more,”

    You let him go and took a step back, flushing a little at your impromptu hug. You were just excited, and he was a friend. “What do you mean set up for me?” you asked him curiously. He just smiled and gestured down the hall.

    “You’ll see,” he replied with a hint of mischief. Silly Trickster liked his surprises. At least they were all pleasant surprises so far. He led you down the hall to the elevator.

    “What time is it?” you asked him nervously as he pushed the button. You’d lost track of days and times, but it felt like it was daytime.

    “Noon,” he replied. “I know, you should be asleep at this hour, but I wanted to make sure you knew what I meant by ‘set up for you’,” he explained with a teasing smile.

    “You’re incorrigible,” you informed him and stuck your tongue out at him. He chuckled. You stepped into the elevator with him and watched as he pushed one of the buttons. The elevator started to rise out from underground level that the cells were on. You realized when the elevator broke the surface that the walls were glass, and faced the outside. “Loki-” your voice was scared as you stepped backwards toward the doors and away from the light to hide from it for as long as you could.

    “I know, love,” he told you and pulled you to him, shielding you from the light with his body. “Shut your eyes,” he added gently, even though his hand was on the back of your head, holding your face against his chest. You did as he told you, trusting your friend. “It’s just for a moment,” he promised. You tried not to notice as you were pressed safely against his chest, how muscled he was, or how good he smelled. The elevator doors opened and Loki turned you and steered you through the doors. “It’s safe now,” he told you warmly, his voice an amused whisper in your ear. You opened your eyes and shrank back into him. The walls were full of huge windows and the room was light, so very light. Loki chuckled and held you firmly. “It’s alright, love,” he told you kindly.

    The light didn’t hurt, you realized when your brain got past terror. You stepped out of his arms and into the middle of the bright living room and its many couches and huge TV. “I don’t understand,” you told him, looking in awe at the natural light on your skin. Indoor lighting didn’t bother you, but sunlight…

    “Stark had all of the windows replaced on this floor and the floor your rooms are on with these special windows that let in the light, but not the… UV rays? I apologize that I cannot explain it more clearly, we don’t have the concept on Asgard,” he explained. “Regardless, this floor and your rooms are safe for you according to Stark, and it appears he was correct. The elevator is next on the list,” he added quickly. “You don’t have to fear the sun here, love,” he told you warmly.

    “I-I can’t believe it,” you told him and went to one of the windows. Loki followed, amused by your reaction. “I haven’t seen the sun properly in years,” you told him a little sheepishly.

    “It’s wonderful to see you happy,” he told you warmly. “This is the living room,” he told you, drawing your attention away from the windows. He showed you the rest of the rooms on the floor, mostly a dining room and huge kitchen. There was also a small medical bay. You would have kept staring at the sun, but hid one too many yawns behind your hand. Loki chuckled and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “Come along, love. It’s well past bedtime for sleepy vampires,” he told you warmly and steered you back toward the elevator. He again shielded you from the sun with his body in the elevator and promised that Stark was fixing the windows soon for you. He steered you down the hallway when the doors opened again, and pretended he didn’t notice your head on his chest as his arm was around you. The sun was shining through the windows on this floor too, but again, they didn’t hurt and you couldn’t help smiling like an idiot about it. He opened a door just down the hall. “These rooms are yours. Get some sleep,” he bid you warmly. “I shouldn’t have brought you up so early, but I wanted to make sure you knew you’re safe here,”

    “Thank you, Loki,” you told him brightly, then thought of something. “Where do you live?” you asked, wondering if you were going to have to wait until nightfall to find your friend. He gestured to a door across the hall.

    “Right there. I’ll be around if you need me,” he told you and kissed your forehead. “Off to bed with you, little one,”

    “Goodnight, Loki.” He smirked at your choice of farewell. You kissed his cheek in thanks for everything and as a properly, purely friendly and nothing more farewell, and slipped into your room, closing the door gently behind you. You found the bed and nearly fell into it, passing out as soon as your head hit the pillow. Loki was right, it was well past bedtime for sleepy vampires.

[thathopelessromantic]

fandom asks 1, 14, 24

1: favorite fic you wrote this year? - (according to ao3 i wrote 25 fics this year which is just…wild so um…this is hard to choose) I guess its probably either Get Some, or maybe To Welcome You Home? I had a blast writing Get Some (even this last chapter that is driving me crazy) but I’m also so weak to family fluff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯…but uh…this was harder than I thought it would be

14: a fic you didn’t expect to write? - um any of the prompts i got from @lesbianakari were a surprise honestly but especially the shlav ones…those definitely were not fics i ever would have written on my own and i still can’t totally believe i wrote them lol

24: favorite fic you read this year? - this is so hard to pick! i read way too much fanfiction to remember this! um I dont think i can name a singular favorite but a singular favorite from my main fandoms rn:

just come to me once by laallomri (voltron, klance, T) which i just realized is now updated/complete so i need to go finish that asap bc it was exactly the post s6 voltron i needed. the klance is so soft and good but there is also some actual development for keith and krolia that we were totally skimped on in canon and their travels in space were far more what i expected b4 they go to earth than what we actually got 

journey to the past by aloneintherain (bnha, class 1-a feels, T) makes my heart feel so warm and full even in the more heartbreaking moments like izuku’s friends being “imaginary” bc they! all! love! him! so! much! (and this is cheating bc this is abt a whole series and journey isnt even a part of it, but aloneintherain’s entire see it all in bloom (T) series is iconic and what i consider post-canon now until proven or convinced otherwise)

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly (bbc merlin, merthur, M) this was such a good conclusion for the series set in modern day with amazing OCs and it felt so much like a story of its own i wanted to print it out and curl up with it like it was a real book

and last but not least

The Chronicles of the Virgin Asahi by Ellessey (haikyuu!!, asanoya, E) my hq obsession comes and goes and my latest bout of it struck about a month ago and ive just been scouring ao3 for daisuga fics i hadn’t read yet or rereading old favorites when i stumbled upon ellessey’s work and read 90% of it in like a week and reminded myself in the process how much i love other ships in hq as well (but chronicles also has some adorable daisuga and the family dynamic between daichi suga and asahi is my favorite thing in the whole world the 3rd years are my absolute favorites from the original series and they had such a good dynamic here with such wonderful writing it was literally a blessing to stumble upon this fic)

….i have so many more i actually still want to talk abt but i am restraining myself for the sake of this ask and bc i have other things i need to be doing lol

[triumphorce]

                   under stars that feel as far as

                               real does..

at the moment.

at any moment..

kidnap me.

any chance presented  

& in moments prior.

spent alone

in 

zone.

far from progress.

stasis,

stationed next to

hope & regret.

on either side.

stamina. breathe now

to breathe more.

no free will.

i got to survive.

i got to make it,

especially if i just change aim

change rim-height,

relate with reality

change chin height,

keep head up,

lower expectations

keep pen up.

can’t make shit up,

so i make this shit up

dig deep, drain soon as i wake up

from sleep, or conscious nap..

break up

buildup

of words

that

feel

like

millions.

euphoric

ultimatum;

write,

or just

waste.

can’t wait

to post, create.

post haste

long ass roads that really dont have

an end, or means to.

I just become more of

whatever comes;

whatever emotions

i allow;

however

i react;

to

whoever,wherever,

when tf ever

‘cause all i am

is now, here.

a little more conscious..

that’s it.

&the more i remember,

the more i forget.

gotta pick and choose.

careful.

careful, please.

carefully

 cut ties, choose way

‘cause by the time it's time to remember

new knew's

once was' just can’t keep up

and i accidentally

delete something

important,

or distort it..

gotta

slow down

life...

ssssshhheesh

i once was in less pieces,

&I at least, once, knew peace, but didn’t know it,

more than likely still do

staring at sky blue.

so blue..

eyes find it soothes

waiting on.

bus late.

contemplating, mind rages

sea

lost in deep

hue pool

sharp, wind wrapping body.

waitin on,

waiting on.

contemplating. gone.

daydreamin way thru life.

thru the little things

i always belittled.

cause I thought I had what i needed. or what I had was mine to keep.

...just because.

i need a little more somethin

a little more new, more original stop cliches, tropes,& archetypes in general

droll,

repetition equals learning, well i'll just lurn-less

beg to differ, by beggin questions, even when forced to tread slow,&only do so in head.

we’re all middlemen.

just fiddlin’

‘round in world,

in universe,

riddled withh riddles,

that

trickle,

drip

in

complex

descent

from cognitive

  beginnings.

ephemeral glimpses of outside-nighttime-world,

through blinds in bed, as a child to now, still just as far from.

as far as real feels.

feelin nothing like how I do now.

but pain passes,

so it just must be my brain's capacity for trust shrank. & elaborates time taken for to cross neural pathways,

not get lost, and make it back safe save, all at the same time, while i attempt to ignore age

pay mind solely to the idea i can do, &I don't have to prove.

to become honest, so potential growth is optimum to be one with me, and know I can't ever be anything but and no idea is ever done, no matter finished, no grey matter greyer, no more dr. bender's, no more directions, no more winners, reflect on self, &what it means-to be better, i deflect defects w/ skylark teeth,  

a truer sense of.. truth

a higher level basic

newfound fundamentals

that all the world and creation in it,

then, now, or later

are truly small

&

no life was ever finished

nobody wants to give it up,but we learn to

and as a consequence return to world what we wish to see beyond our existence

to find trust again love again feel again believe again hurry up, clock's tickin

get it, grind look and find get inspired go inspire go perspire run a mile two three four

five seconds six seconds

gotta go for it gotta get better, 

 never listen only instrumentalz for me

in a room   aspire to be able to define my every rhyme and reason behind thoughts had,

itchin to stay consistent, keep on writing and don't worry about why, keep on filing tomes of dreams, ordering guides to self, from one idea to a whole library of shit I did,

 like,

"oh, damn kid, you wrote that?"

damn right I did.

conversations that I have in my head

while I reread pieces

an elixir, a pensive remedy

for when I feel reluctant toward

reality, when in reality

it's really just the people around me that I trusted, busted ass for, gave up past for filled up gigabytes, sticky notes, notepads for designed a whole world for,

put off parties, friends, a part of me I never gave a chance for. became an outcast for. put on mask for.

to be compared and not contrasted warned and not encouraged critiqued but not heard

made me want

to tell, create a story and not give a damn about glory.

although i worry how i come off..sometimes..

made me

change style time after time for some time, now..

made me have

to boost own confidence, own own ego; inflate like raft, & float to shore,

common ground with action &

focused on

how I'm amounting in life.

..apparently

im just climbing up invisible

mountains

but i don't let it make or break me,

used to,

but no more ,& nowit's just me.

&that's just crazy..

so im focused

on how im a mountain lion to moles tryna troll, but       most the time, tho                    I'm...focused on settling score with where               I've failed

& failed to respond to failure well

                                    let go

of initiative,   hung to anger

in orbit  around regret towards doors left unopened, words unspoken to people gone, that could've changed life, if only They could hear these thoughts.. if only I had someone to talk to besides myself, & people that talk to high-five themselves; given approval never sought, advice for battles never fought, in a room for most of youth, stuck in head, so much to see, explore lore of stories never written, so much done even before i decided to pick pen up, before i decided I was ready for commitment decisions in head turn to an every 5 minute thing,

                  stuck in holes    deeper than before

tell-tale signs around sub-subconscious                         that Im chasin nothin..

apparitions..

in front of people

waitin somethin fierce

for me to

summon what's already there

a mirror image of miracle from thinnest air from holes put in life for pride in pages of jumbled thoughts gaps in memories for drafts that define ironic, describing fine lines I believe are there, in thinnest mirror, between me and experience in eyes that remind me i am less, i am more i am worse, i am better everything in between all and nothing, not objective, but an object capable of observation, own purpose assigned no more worth than yours, no more than I have dealt my self chances missed to live for product tossed or lost in the end

x's & lines through a mind confused,              backspaces                       scribbles       procrastinating daily, delaying the inevitable,                                           staring at.. ...coffee steam            and letters linked in ink curves and ink in nerves

        on nights only sleep's deferred as vivid as yesterdays and scenes in head of tomorrows            mixed in with skips in consciousness     obvious options almost always missed second guesses linger in gut like wtf

what the fuck am i doing everyday, if I don't contribute to future

to believe, or not to believe i was in control of will was the whole problem let go of all it hone on goals. fly low, that is...

as far a stretch as breath of desire to contribute to the world   believing if chance exists, i will succeed I will fulfill promises thru notepads & audience

a caged bird singing

do or do not.

seems all I've done is try, it seems to try isnt good enough, seems what they want from me wasn't what I was told they want, which is for me to want from me & instead what they want to see is what they want to see

me to become this and not my own, no matter how many hours spent, no matter the font, text, or etiquette formed to gain attention, but apparently a proper use of improper use of prose prospered overtime & i kept my posture, keep me from losing self, going crazy, letting people make me think something's not okay, or wrong with me, or out of whack off top, not taken seriously

priorities of the majority of society made it difficult to captivate eyes, and garner respect, because of conflictive internal contradictions to set out for what I thought was spreading message, but was embedding judgment of self, & effort, looking at motives that been made a home in heart like they suspect, but they was who fucked with me when I wouldn't even fuck with me, wanna be someone else, something else, like what you want clave?

to wait for mine..

psh, nnn’eh, thinking I was good enough to be taken seriously ..

thinking there was nothing to do, but to do, but something changed course, one day,

 one day atta time

thinking that I was right behind, could just lift up arm and touch but that wasn't the case, ever, constant race

     couldn't hold on, couldn't hide the pain to psyche out greatest opponent, me

                   didn't want to, saw no point

   repeating and repeating, over and again

so on and so forth, thus forth destroying self                               convinced I couldn't help it      and still am

and still can't

accept I ever gave in,   broke under pressure, buckled under what some would chuckle over, no pity, just recognition of jimity's petition to push when pushed, with thoughts into written gale force, in a position to always hope, so when foundation crumbles, there's another one up under

if not, I use earth to wander.

whether with excess of momentum or subsiding in subtle realization of sustenance behind life's work

purpose on course set to find reward I'm told I'm looking for..

fin

[choicesfanatic86]

TTS:  Part 18 (Liam x MC)

DISCLAIMER:  All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY:  Late night texts with the word urgent never bode well, of that Riley was quite certain.

If you are new to the series and would like to catch up by reading previous parts, please check out my master fan fiction listing.  CATCH UP HERE

TAGS:  @herladyshipxx  @theroyalweisme @blackcatkita @devineinterventions2 @hopefulmoonobject @captainkingliam @pbchoicesobsessed @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys @mfackenthal @boneandfur @spetstoof @bobasheebaby @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @mspaigemoore @drakelover78 @kaitycole @jayjay879 @hhiggs @umccall71 @penguininapinktuxedo @topsyturvy-dream @decisso @pnhanga @ladynonsense @mrs-simmy

4/28/18 - I’ve updated the tag list, if I missed you, just let me know and I will happily add you to the list above.

Hi guys! I'm so sorry for the delay in releasing the next parts.  My son unexpectedly came down with a terrible stomach bug, and I was on high alert with mommy duty.  I promise I will get these parts popping out this weekend.  Once again, I reworked the series a bit, so you may notice a few chapter title changes as opposed to what I had originally had planned. 

Thank you all for your kind words and support.  My son is doing much better (thank goodness!) <3 You guys are incredible, as always. :)

I hope you enjoy this part.  Part 19 - Ulterior Motives will be released at 4:00 pm Hawaii Standard Time (about 7 hours from now). It’s something you don’t want to miss. ;)

PART 18 - Secret Lovers

Riley wiped the still falling tears from her eyes, her hands shaking as she attempted to open the message on her cell phone.  She was worried.  She hadn’t expected to hear from Liam until the next morning.  She tried to calm herself with some rational thoughts.  He knew she was going to talk to Paul tonight; perhaps he was concerned about how he had taken things and how she was fairing after such a difficult phone call.  She glanced down at the short message, her heart dropping to her stomach.  A small gasp escaped her lips as she read and reread the message over to herself.  

“What does it say,” Andy asked as she tried to peek over Riley’s shoulder to get a glimpse of the message.  “What’s wrong?” Andy asked, worry now clouding her eyes.

Riley silently held her phone up for Andy to see.

“URGENT – call me as soon as you can.  – L”

“Urgent?” Andy looked at Riley with apprehension.  

Riley looked back at her with the same fear.  She felt as if fresh tears were about to spill over.   “What could possibly go wrong next?” She said sullenly.

“You should call him – right now,” Andy instructed.

Riley nodded, pulling herself up off of the floor.  “I’m going to go back to my room . . . I should really do this in private, in case he’s wondering about things with Paul.”

Andy nodded, understanding completely.  “Don’t worry, okay?  I’m sure things are fine,” she tried to sound encouraging, but Riley could see the fret weighing heavily on Andy’s mind.  She knew something was wrong.  Urgent text messages late at night never did bode well.

She wandered down the hallway toward her bedroom, starting to dial his number as she walked.  Her hands trembled as she pressed each button.  She waited breathlessly for him to answer.  It took a single ring before she heard his deep voice on the other end of the line.  He’d been waiting for her call.

“Riley  . . .” she could hear him exhale.  He almost sounded relieved.  

“Is everything alright?  I got your text message,” she trailed off. Her voice still sounded weak from all of the crying she had done.

‘I’m sorry to bother you at such a late hour,” his voice sounded strained.  “Especially when I know you had a great deal on your mind tonight.”  He sounded as if he had gone through hell; he sounded worn, defeated even.  She had expected to hear his ever-strong, stoic voice - the voice that had always helped to subside her worries.  Instead, she heard the tiredness in his tone, and it caused her to feel even more uneasy than she before.  

“It’s okay,” she said shakily.  “I was still up . . . still dealing with things, and then your text message came through.  I got a bit scared because you mentioned that this was urgent.  Are you alright?”

“Well . . . I am better than I was about a half an hour ago,” he sighed.  “I wanted to prepare you.  I didn’t want you to have to find out in the morning through one of the papers or on the morning news,” he started to explain.  

“Prepare me for what?” She asked hesitantly.

“The CBC . . . they obtained some photographs from our evening together,” he said carefully.  “Nothing inappropriate . . . just the two of us sitting at the restaurant talking, but the story they plan to release suggests that we’ve been seeing one another in secret for the last two years.”  

“Oh,” she closed her eyes.  She remembered the night of the coronation ball, how ill she had felt when the photo of her compromising position with Tariq had been leaked.  That same ill-feeling started to come over her.  She suddenly thought of Paul.  What if he somehow found out about the news story?  After everything she had just put him through, the last thing she would want is some fictitious story making its way to the American media.  She had crushed his heart already, she couldn’t have a news story making an already painful situation worse.    As she thought back to Liam’s words . . . an unexpected thought passed through her mind.  “Wait . . . are they trying to say you cheated on Madeline?” she asked.

“That’s the story they’re trying to sell,” he said with certainty.

“But that’s a lie!” she exclaimed, enraged that she once again found herself in the middle of a royal scandal.  “I haven’t been in this country for two years.  I haven’t even left New York in two years,” she rambled.  She had never felt so frustrated.  How could someone make decision after decision attempting to get away from their past yet come face to face with the exact thing they had spent so long running from in the first place?  A scandal had torn apart her relationship with Liam years ago, and here she was again.  “For God’s sake, have you even set foot in America in the last two years?  You haven’t even been to New York since before you got married!  They’re being absolutely ridiculous,” she grumbled.

Liam grew quiet on the phone, listening to Riley rant and rave.  He cleared his throat, hoping to interrupt her before she had gotten any more worked up about things.  “That’s not entirely true,” he said quietly.  “They have some information about a trip I made, shortly after you left Cordonia.  They’re trying to use it as more evidence of an affair,” he explained.  

“What are you talking about?” Riley asked in irritation, not so much directed at Liam, but at the situation they once again found themselves.

“I went to New York . . . a few months after you left.” he admitted sheepishly.  “I didn’t want you to find out this way . . . I didn’t want you to find out ever.”

“You what?” she asked again, thinking she must have misheard him.

“I went to New York,” he said a little louder.  “I don’t know why.  I just . . . felt compelled to try and find you.  I was in a sham of a marriage, in over my head, missing you something awful.  I had hoped I’d find you and convince you to come back with me.  Much like the other night, I didn’t really have a plan on how it would all work out in the end, but I had hoped, that with you by my side, we would figure it out together.”

Riley didn’t know what to think.  She was in information-overload mode, and she could feel herself wanting to curl up into a tiny ball and just forget that any of this was happening.  Still, she forced herself to listen to him speak.  

“I went to the old bar you worked at, but they said they didn’t have any information about where you used to live, and they didn’t have any calls for reference checks, so they couldn’t tell me if you had a new job.  I was about to give up when your friend  . . . I believe his name was Daniel . . . recognized me from some of the photos you sent when you had first arrived in Cordonia.  He told me he had heard through some mutual friends that you were going to school in the city . . . NYU.  He suggested I try looking you up there,” he explained further.  

“So, I left Brooklyn and hoped that the lead on NYU would pan out.  It did not.  There was no record that you were a registered student.  I was grasping for a lead, any bit of information that would help me find you.  Bastien . . . he told me that the odds of finding you in the timeframe we had left were not good.  He didn’t want me to risk being away from Cordonia for much longer.  He said there were already whispers about my living arrangements with Madeline, and that any sign of weakness in the monarchy could lead to political upheaval. He was right, of course.  For all I knew, you could have moved out of the state.  I needed to go home and accept that I had squandered my privilege of loving you,” he said sadly at the memory.  “I hadn’t realized that my impulsivity . . . my desperation in finding you . . . would come back to haunt me years later,” another tired sigh echoed from is end of the phone.    

“I didn’t move,” she said quietly into the phone.  “I stayed in my old apartment for months, hell maybe longer.  Andy and I didn’t get our place until I graduated.  Daniel was partly right . . . I got into NYU but couldn’t swing the tuition, so I ended up back at Brooklyn College.  I was in Brooklyn the whole time,” she whispered, stunned by his unexpected revelation.  “Had I known you were there . . .”

“Maybe things might have been different?” he rasped out, finishing her thought.

“Mmhm,” she murmured into the phone.  “Maybe,” she whispered.  “Maybe is a big thing with us, isn’t it?” she asked, a touch of disappointment in her voice.  Maybe.  Maybe all they would ever be was a maybe, she thought sadly.

“We’re victims of horrendous timing, you and I,” he muttered.  She couldn’t have agreed more.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” She asked.  “That first night you came to see me?”

“I was ashamed . . . for waiting so long to find you.  Then it didn’t seem worth bringing up to you.  Yes, I’d travelled to New York to find you, but I came back empty-handed.  I’d given up, when I shouldn’t have stopped until I found you.  I once again let my duty to Cordonia cloud my feelings for you,” he explained.  Riley could hear the regret resonate in his words.  “I still have no idea how they even figured out I had went to New York.  I thought we had been exceptionally careful,” he trailed off.  “Apparently, not careful enough,” he mused angrily.

“Why is this happening again, Liam?” Riley asked, her frustration peaking once more.

“I’m not sure,” he said honestly.  “But I promise you, Riley, I’m not going to let something like this jeopardize our friendship . . . our second chance at something more,” he said with resolve.

“Thank you, Liam.  For giving me a heads up about the photo . . . and for your honesty about New York,” she said, feeling the weight of all the stress taking a toll on her body.  She was physically and emotionally exhausted.  “I should go,” she said drowsily.  “I think I’ve had enough of an emotional rollercoaster ride for the day.”

“Before you go . . . my invitation still stands, if you wish to join me at the palace tomorrow” he asked hopefully.  “I know how much you enjoyed the palace grounds, and it would be nice to spend some time with you without having to worry about prying eyes or getting photographed again.”

Riley thought about his offer.  After everything that happened, she wasn’t sure if they should be spending time together at all, even if it was within the security of the palace walls.  The last thing they needed was to add more fuel to the already large fire that the media had burning.  She’d hate to make things any worse, but she also wanted to see him again.  Her time in Cordonia was running short.  The wedding was getting closer, and then she’d be leaving back to New York.  If she wanted to figure out where their pseudo-relationship was headed, she’d need to do so fast.  

“Okay,” she conceded.  “It might give us a chance to talk about . . . us,” she trailed off awkwardly.  

“Perfect.  I’ll send Bastien to pick you up in the morning,” he said, his tone picking up from the earlier part of their conversation.  “Try to get some rest.  We’ll handle the news story tomorrow,” he murmured, sleepiness seemingly taking him over as well.

“Okay,” she said gently.  “Thank you again.  I know this is just as hard on you as it is for me.”

“Think nothing of it.  I’ll see you tomorrow . . . I’ll have Bastien come around the mid-morning, okay?”

“That sounds great,” she said, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, before ending the call.  Riley was exhausted; she needed at least a week’s worth of sleep to help her cope with everything that she’d been going through lately.  Between breaking Paul’s heart and this new scandal, she wished she could sleep and sleep and sleep until all her problems were solved.  If only she were that lucky, she mused as she fell into a comfortable slumber.  

The next morning, Riley dreaded the idea of waking up.  Waking up meant that everything Liam had told her last night was real.  It meant that she was one step closer to another scandal taking over her life and jeopardizing her reputation.  Waking up meant that her world was going to change once more, and it was absolutely out of her control.  She was thankful for the warning, because she couldn’t imagine getting blindsided by something like this again.  She dragged herself out of bed and forced herself to get ready for the day.  As much as she had wanted to hideaway in her bedroom and pretend nothing had happened, she knew she’d have to face things eventually.  

She wondered if the others had learned about the scandal.  She knew that Bertrand would be furious.  She reluctantly walked downstairs to the dining room, preparing to enter the line of fire.  Bertrand and Savannah were already seated at the dining table, talking in hushed whispers.  The couple exchanged a look between them when they noticed her entering the room.  She knew then that the article had been released.  The pity on their faces told her everything she needed to know.

“Got any coffee?” Riley asked gruffly.  Coffee was a must at this point.

Savannah looked to Bertrand, “Darling, would you mind getting the pot of coffee from the kitchen?  It should be done by now.”

“Of course,” he nodded at Savannah, barely looking at Riley in the process as he stood up to excuse himself from the table.

“Bad night?” Savannah asked, seeing the dark circles under Riley’s eyes.    

“That would be an understatement,” Riley griped.  “Andy around?” she asked, noticing that there were only three place settings at the table.  

Savannah shook her head in reply.  “She and Maxwell decided to go out for brunch,” she explained.  “They’ve formed an interesting friendship,” she smiled lightly.  “I don’t think I’ve seen Maxwell quite this happy.”

Riley nodded in agreement, not really wanting to make small talk when she had so much on her mind.  Her eyes drifted to the paper that lay folded next to Savannah’s setting.  “Is that today’s newspaper?”

Savannah looked at her hesitantly, her hand moved to cover the paper protectively.  She was debating whether or not to let Riley see it.  “Well . . .” she began, nervously biting her lip.  

“It’s okay, I already know,” she sighed, folding her arms on the table, she gently laid her head down on top of them in frustration.  “I knew it was coming, and yet I still had hoped that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t publish it,” she sighed.  Where was Bertrand with the coffee?  She’d definitely need a couple of cups of coffee if she wanted to get through the day.  “How bad is it?” she asked without looking at Savannah, clearly concerned about how the media had portrayed her in the news story.

“At least you’re clothed this time,” Bertrand snipped as he returned to the table with the pot of coffee.  “Have you learned nothing?  Propriety is and should always be your biggest concern.  You never know when a photographer will capture an intimate moment.  I thought you’d know this by now,” he admonished.  “We’ve been down this road before,” he scolded more, shaking his head.

Riley couldn’t help but roll her eyes.  She grabbed the pot of coffee away from him, and poured herself a cup.  “I don’t need you making me feel worse than I already feel, Bertrand.  Anyway, I did nothing wrong,” she said firmly.  “Need I remind you, it was you who encouraged me to spend time with him in the first place,” she countered.  “Besides, we were just talking,” she said plainly.

“The paper says otherwise,” he narrowed his eyes at her.

She narrowed her eyes in return.  “Let me see it,” she demanded, reaching her hand out for it.  

Savannah slid the paper across the table to her.  She closed her eyes a bit embarrassed.  “The picture is actually quite lovely . . . it’s the story that’s atrocious,” Savannah said grimly.

She opened the folded newspaper, half expecting her face to be spread across the front page.  To her surprise, the story wasn’t there.  Nor was it on the second or third pages either.  The story sat on page six, next to one of those cheesy advice columns.  It could have been much worse.  Although it did take up at least a quarter of the page, Riley was slightly optimistic.  Perhaps it wasn’t as bad as she and Liam had expected.  

She exhaled a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.  “I’m not on the front page,” she said, still a bit surprised.  “That’s a relief,” she exhaled.  

“Did you read the article?” Bertrand asked.

She hadn’t.  She had been so happy that the story wasn’t on the front page, she hadn’t taken the time to read it.  The first thing that caught her attention was the headline.  In big, black bold lettering read the words “SECRET LOVERS.”  She couldn’t help but snort as she read it.  They couldn’t come up with something more interesting than that?  The photograph had been the perfect shot of Liam laughing with her as they sat in the booth at the restaurant.  Savannah was right.  It was a relatively lovely photograph, had it not been attached to such an awful headline.  She perused the story – picking up on the major tidbits.  She skimmed over the description of Liam’s trip to New York.  He had been correct in his assumption that they would use the trip as supporting evidence that they had supposedly been carrying on an affair for years.  As she read further down, the article discussed how Riley had been a lover scorned who seduced Liam in an attempt at revenge against Madeline.  They blamed her for the divorce and speculated that Madeline was paid off handsomely to prevent her from gossiping about their sordid love affair.  They even suggested that she had returned to Cordonia because the appropriate amount of time had passed since the King’s divorce and they were now pursuing a courtship with one another.  All of it . . . every part of it . . . was batshit crazy.

“You know that’s a load of crap, don’t you?” she exclaimed, tossing the paper back onto the table.  “Same like last time,” she fumed.

“It doesn’t matter what I know, Lady Riley.  It matters what the Cordonian people believe,” he replied philosophically.  

“What if I don’t care what the Cordonian people think?” she asked.

Bertrand stared blankly at her, displeased with the fact that she was challenging him.  “Lady Riley, need I remind you,” he mimicked her earlier dig at him, “that you are still a guest of House Beaumont, and as such, your actions reflect on all of us, not just yourself,” he explained.

She rolled her eyes, prompting Bertrand to jump into yet another lecture on the importance of modesty and respectability.  They continued to bicker, sending jab after jab at one another.  Savannah watched on, slightly amused, slightly dismayed, all at the same time.  She knew neither one of them was one hundred percent right.  Still, she watched on, amusement on her face.  The doorbell rang faintly in the background.  A reprieve, Riley thought contently.  “That would be for me,” she motioned to the front door.  “Glad we had this chat, Dad,” she said sarcastically as she headed toward the front door.  “Let Andy know I’ll be back tonight,” she winked at Savannah, “And good luck with him” she said as she pointed toward Bertrand.

Bertrand’s fists clenched.  “Well then . . . that sounds about right since I feel like I’m raising an insolent teenager,” he yelled after her.  He turned to Savannah, his forehead furrowed in irritation and frustration.  “Now she’s running off to do God knows what with God knows who” he yelled, hoping that Riley had heard him.  He heard the door pull open and slam shut.  “Really, am I the only one thinking of this House’s reputation?” he grumbled.

Savannah placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.  “She’s going to see him,” she said frankly, as if it would explain away everything that happened this morning.

“The King?” Bertrand asked surprised.

Savannah nodded.

“I thought she said they were only talking . . .  Are they .  . .” he trailed off trying to find the right way to phrase his question, “seeing one another again?”

Savannah could only shrug.  “She didn’t mention anything to me, I just pieced the puzzle together.  Looks like your little plan worked,” she nudged him flirtatiously.  “She’s right you know . . . you put this ball into motion.  Can’t fault her for getting wrapped up in the result of your sneakiness,” she teased.

Bertrand smiled faintly, the realization dawning on him that the push he had given her in Liam’s direction had firmly launched her back into his arms.

[gffa]

I know you love the sequels (you've said it before) but since you dont talk about it nearly as much as you do the prequles, do you mind me asking generally what you think about the sequels? Like, what you think of the characters and the ships, whether you ship anything or maybe everything, etc. Love to hear your (positive as always ofc youre great) thoughts on it and your love for sw! ❤

Hi!  Thank you for such a sweet message!  I’m definitely into some parts of Star Wars more than others, but I don’t think there’s any era that I’ve outright hated, even if I’ve had my troubles with them.I’m middling-to-frequently-pleased about the sequels!  They’re not really ever going to be the Star Wars of my heart, but I like them well enough!  Generally, I find that I like them more and more once the extended canon (novels, games, comics, etc.) starts coming out, even while the movies themselves are fairly low on my list of “favorite SW stuff”.  I do have a lot of issues with the writing not being that well-thought out at times (if we’re meant to see Holdo as a good leader, she should have realized the mutiny that was stirring under her watch, the lack of explanation about what the FO was in TFA, etc.), but my overall feelings towards the sequels are positive!For me, it comes down to:  I have spent a lot of time talking about TFA and TLJ, I’ve written a lot of meta, I’ve consumed a lot of the surrounding media, I’ve had a lot of thoughts and feelings about it!  But I don’t feel the urge to rewatch/reread much of it.  I wrote probably 15k worth of meta about TLJ overall, but I feel no urge to go pick the movie up again and see it another time, despite how thoroughly I combed through it, the novelizations, and the comic adaptations of it.  I don’t feel a driving need to seek out more understanding about the finer details of how things work, because I don’t feel that there necessarily is enough of that thought being put into it yet.In contrast, I am ALWAYS ready to go rewatch the PT and OT movies and TCW. I’m always picking up new things in the movies/tv shows themselves or just having more feelings about them!  Part of this is that those characters are my jam, but part of it is also that I think George’s overall story creation was more engaging for me, it kept me coming back to re-comb the stuff he was directly involved with, instead of always needing new material to keep my interest.This isn’t to say that I don’t love the sequels, because I very much do!  These characters are wonderful, getting to see any kind of progression (even if it’s not enough yet, I will still celebrate the steps forward we’re taking) is so meaningful to me, and I very much like a lot of the surrounding novels and games and the world they’re building.  It’s just not quite as solid-feeling to me as George’s was–though, I like to think that will change with time.  Already, TFA was made a ton better for me through the extended canon explaining what the First Order was.  Now, if we had any idea how the rest of the galaxy was dealing with the First Order (are they still outsiders coming in to take over? have they already done that? like, I don’t really get the relationship they have to the rest of the galaxy), I’d be more onboard!  If there was a stronger sense of the movies being connected to the established GFFA (see: my rant on the lack of pretty much any recognizable aliens in TLJ the movie), I’d probably feel less like they were disconnected.I definitely feel the crunch of how they can’t really do much with backstories and the spaces around the ST movies, because they’re presumably waiting for IX to finish so they don’t contradict anything.  Once we can actually know the arc of the characters’ lives (like what happened after Ben killed the Jedi apprentices and burned down the Temple? just how much was Snoke an influence in his life/when did that start? what’s Finn’s origin story or his point of view on escaping the FO? etc.) I’ll probably come around more!Rey is my favorite (I AM SUCH A JEDI NERD ♥), I want sooooo much of her interacting with pretty much EVERYONE, but especially her Jedi lineage!!  I also dearly love Finn and Rose as well, I’m hoping that they get further expanded stories once IX is out and they can really do more with their pasts and their futures, too!  I like Kylo well enough, I especially like his relationships with Luke and Leia (my faves from the OT!), and I once upon a time shipped Kylux and probably still vaguely do.  (I like my snarling villain ships sometimes. XD)  I ship Finn/Rey kind of a lot, but in a way that I’m content with whatever happens in canon happens.  I could be convinced to ship Rey/Rose and Leia/Holdo if someone did the heavy lifting for me in fic!  I’m fine with all the other ships, I hope people are having a good time with them, but they haven’t sparked an intense interest in me yet personally.After that, I’m probably most interested in the Rebels crew, I really came to care about them!  I ship Kanan/Hera as a diehard OTP but I’m content to be casual about it, Zeb/Kallus is one I get a hankering for every so often and deeply love, I’m super into Sabine/Ketsu but they’re such a quiet ship.  Ultimately, though, my heart is with Kanan’s path to finding his way back to the Jedi path and Ezra coming into his own and the difficult choices he faced and the found family aspect.I really loved Rogue One (I shipped Baze/Chirrut and Cassian/Jyn) but without deeper history on the characters (TELL ME ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GUARDIAN OF THE WHILLS, LUCASFILM???) or a stronger connection to the rest of the GFFA, I’m content to just remember how much I enjoyed it from afar.I loved Solo, it’s a movie that I don’t have a lot of deep investment in (maybe that will change with the novelization? those often do a lot for me) but I absolutely could watch it again!  I definitely shipped Han/Qi’ra for what it was, but they weren’t meant to be.  I like Han/Lando as a banter-filled ship along the way!  But Han/Leia is still an unbreakable ship for me.  I REALLY loved the new characters (Qi’ra and Enfys Nest especially) and all the tie-ins to the rest of the GFFA, oh MAN I want to know about Lando on Felucia or whatever happened with Beckett and Aurra Sing!  But I’m fairly low-key about that desire for more.TL;DR:  I don’t feel like the sequels have done as much to establish themselves and a fair chunk of what they did do felt like throwing the OT characters under the bus to promote their new characters (I have come around to how Star Wars is cyclical in nature, so the rise of the FO is part of the storytelling structure of SW, as well as Luke’s characterization in TLJ is built A LOT on the parts of the OT that we tend to forget about, like his impatience and anger, but there’s still a lingering bitter taste about how hard the OT worked for their happy ending and the only got to enjoy it for, what? 20 years? how I never got to see Mark Hamill as my Badass And Centered Jedi Master for more than just a couple of minutes) so they have an uphill battle with me, but that doesn’t meant they’re not doing it and that I will grow more invested as more and more connective tissue is put out in novels and comics and games.  There are many things I love about them, I’m glad to see fans who are so passionate about the things they love with them, a lot of the books and comics and games have been great, and I love the characters themselves!

[gojaimas]

Late Comments

Hello people. It’s been four months since I finished I Wanted What I Saw That Day, and I’ve received many more comments since then. I figured I’d do some more responses, and give you all a quick update on what my plan is for writing more in the future.

So, I’ve been taking a bit of a break from writing, but I’ve been mulling over ideas for my next story and I think I’m ready to start planning it out officially now. It’s gonna be set in the Legend of Zelda universe, and it will be mostly centered around original incarnations of pre-existing character archetypes that have appeared throughout the series. But just so you know, it will still be a long time before I start posting again, so please be patient with me.

Now, onto your comments:

EternalWisdom: “I just gave a standing ovation for a fanfic of a cartoon from my childhood: That's how good you are. I've already praised much of the technical work such as your pacing and understanding of the characters, but I'd be lying if I said this Final Chapter didn't just play my heart strings like a golden violin. I intend for my own work to (eventually) convince readers of my characters having 3-Dimensional, 'clicking' personalities like the masterpiece you just bestowed upon our nostalgic, incest-supporting fandom. Best of wishes from an avid reader (with a somewhat pretentious name I came up with years ago), yours sincerely, EternalWisdom.”

Wow, thanks! It’s very nice to hear people found my depictions of the characters to be that well done. And don’t worry too much about your name. I’m already hoping I don’t live to regret choosing a broken japanese phrase for mine.

Anonymoose: “Sneaky how Lucy suddenly became the main character. Loved it the ending. I wouldn’t change it or create an alternate. It was perfectly bitter sweet.”

Lucy’s always been sneaky, after all. And thanks, I plan to leave the ending alone for now. I will still consider continuing it in some way in the future though.

justanaverageguy: “"I wanted what I saw that day."...I would pull a CinemaSins and say "Roll Credits," but I would also say it was well used in this work (Plus, it was in the last chapter, after all). I had always thought the "I" in the title was Gwen, but seeing that it was actually Lucy was a great reveal. Lucy truly was the star of this fic. Her character makes this one stand out among anything else (that I've read at least) from this community. I've always seen Ben and Gwen as a great duo ever since I first watched the show, and I will always enjoy fics and episodes focusing on those two. But seeing these three work as a trio was quite a unique take on the characters, and they work so well together. Hats off to you, my friend, for what might possibly be my favorite Ben 10 fanfic. I look forward to checking out what else you may do. I am a Zelda fan too, so I'll probably end up seeing your work again at some point. Until then, ciao!

I couldn’t resist the title drop! It was really fun holding onto the secret of the title’s true meaning for nine whole months while everyone else tried to figure out what it meant. I’ve said before that I’ve probably done more for the Lucy fandom than I have for the Bwen fandom at this point. I would certainly like to see her appearing in more stories. Thank you for your compliments, average guy! I look forward to your reactions to my Zelda story in the future!

jairoesme: “wow that was epic I wasn't expecting the title to show up in there as I read that part it felt so strong. Great story”

Thanks! Seeing everyone reacting to the title drop like this seriously has me giggling. I love it!

Spazbulba: “That was pure magic - it has been years since I was simultaneously both so happy and so sad with the end of a story. Gojaimas You truly are a Legend!”

Truly.

armandaza: “I wanttt moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, no wayyyyyyy T_T”

More??

Guest: “Well, it took me 17 and a half hours to do it, but I finished it. All 300,000 words of it. I gotta say, this has been one of the best bwen stories I’ve ever read in my life. I was so excited to see that there was a new story to read after not looking for months, I read it all in one day! I was wondering something though. Since you basically have the market cornered on Ben 10 fanfic now that everythings died down so much, I was wondering if every now and then, you could post another story about it. Not necessarily long ones, just a one-shot every now and then and maybe a longer one if you’re up to it (maybe even a few stories with Lucy and Ben or even Gwen). It’s been ten years since Ben 10 ended, so there isn’t much more new material out there for the community to enjoy. I know you said you were planning on moving on after this, but maybe every now and then, when you’re stumped with writers block or you’re just bored, maybe you could throw together a little story for us. If it’s even a fraction as good this story was, it would honestly make everyone’s day to have something new to read, especially if you’re writing it. :) Cheers man, happy writing. -Just another fan”

Wow, 17 and a half hours? Damn, dude. I hope you got some sleep after that. But also, wow, that’s really flattering! I’m glad you liked it so much. Doing little Ben 10 one-shots set in my story’s canon every now and then as I work on my Zelda story is something I’ll consider. I grew really fond of working with those characters, so it’s definitely something I’d love to do again some time.

Guest: “Beautiful. What a journey this was” Dark Ace Demon: “What a journey. Thank you for posting this masterpiece up, truly.“

Thank you! Alexa, play “Don’t Stop Believing.”

Guest: “Just as an FYI, a werewolf is a man-wolf. Wer being the old english word for man." (Context: Chapter 12)

That was based on a real conversation I had with someone back when I was (even more of) a little know-it-all. Gwen is smart, but she’s still a kid. She can make mistakes too. I was the Gwen at the time. I was corrected by Snape when I watched the third Harry Potter movie.

GoodScottish: “That was an amazing read and well worth staying up all night to finish it but its just left me wanting so much more. There is just so many things that i want to know what happens next to. Like what happens to Lucy does she find that special someone? What do Ben and Gwen get up to on this summer vacation? Does grandpa Max find out? What happens when they get back can they keep hiding it? And most importantly for me what happens when their parents find out?”

Many thanks, good scotsman! I know there’s still a lot left unanswered, but that’s how Ben and Gwen feel now too. They still have a long road ahead of them. Maybe I’ll write more of it one day, but I think that was a good place to leave it for now. Also, today I’m finding out a lot of my readers have terrible sleeping habits.

Mason: “Your country is proud of you son.”

Fuck yeah!

Kira Sema: “Anyone else reread this in the span of a couple days and start crying all over again? Because here come the waterworks all over again. I know I reviewed, but had to review again after a reread. I think I've said this before, but I relate to Lucy so much. It's hard not to be considering how she felt. Great story once again. Even though it's 48 chapters, all those chapters were worth it and all as much in character as they could be.”

Thank you once again, Kira Sema! I’ll admit I often cringe too hard at my own writing to reread too much of it, but I’m glad you enjoyed it as much the second time around!

Guest: “I read through this everyday... it’s a bittersweet ending. It was like waiting for an anime episode every week and you feel sad when it’s over, so you go through it again holding onto hope for a season 2.”

I know that feel.

“I’ll even wait as long as for an incredibles sequel if I have to.”

Um. I have some good news for you on that front, buddy.

“I had no idea the story would stop there though so it kinda threw me off guard... I was all “wait it’s really over?!” I thought we’d deal with more of having their relationship bloom, being exposed and we’ll have a year 4 summer trip before coming to an end. I mean having the epilogue near the end of a summer trip would really match the beginning of where Ben and Gwen started off in the story but show us how much has changed between the two of them. But I guess it depends on how we look at it, we could also view it as the “Start of Something New” with Ben & Gwen going to their trademark summer trip as a couple then they were as kids who couldn’t wait to get rid of each other at the end of it in the beginning, so maybe it’s a sign that their story isn’t over yet. Lucy was one of the most breathtaking and heartbreaking characters in this story, kind of like menma, a bit of an airhead. always happy, puts other people infront of her feelings.”

She probably was one of my minor inspirations for Lucy’s character. I think I watched Anohana at some point while I was writing this story, hence the inspiration for the title. I love that little cutie.

Thank you for the rest of your comment too, kind guest! I really appreciate you taking the time to write such a glowing review of my work. I’m glad I was able to give you another Bwen story to read!

Guest: “Mr. Gojaimas, I don’t feel so good...”

I love how Infinity War came out during the time I was posting this. I’ll always associate my story with this meme because of my fans, and I’m very happy about that.

TargaryenFire: “Hey Just came here to say i am loving this story, one of the best i have ever read with this ship. Not wanting to be a bother, but will Gwen's anodite blood come into play in the future?”

Thank you! You’ve probably seen your question answered in a different chapter by now, but just in case: Anodites don’t exist in my story, Gwen is completely human, and a lot of other stuff from the sequels is ignored.

Guest: “Your legend will live on...”

Hopefully in the form of oddly specific fandom inside jokes.

Shirokokuro: “You did an excellent job on this-especially in keeping within the 4-year timeline you had set! It was all so sweet, and that ending of them going on a summer trip together was amazing! Here's to you on being such a dedicated and awesome author!”

Thanks so much! I’m pretty happy with how everything turned out, and I’m glad you liked it too.

Lost: “I think I just binge-read this whole thing. Uh. It was riveting, to say the least. The final connection between Lucy's actions, her memories and the title was very powerful. Thanks for writing this! :)”

You are very welcome! Once again, Lucy steals the show!

Guest: “I read the entire story in a week. I loved the character development and how you effectively gave some deeper understanding of the characters not just Ben and Gwen, but also Lucy, Natalie, Joel, Emily, and Julie. I love you so much for creating this fanfiction and your undeniable talent in writing a story. That is why it pains me even more for how the chapter ended and contiualy wished that Proffesor Paradox or even Gwendolyn could just come up from the future and change Lucy's ideas or yours so that the three could be like a three- man couple. I am just so heart broken right now bailing my eyes out and just hoping there is a continuation (not a different ending) where it can be from Bwen to Bwency (I don't know if that's a word).”

Giving minor characters more development is something I’m a huge fan of, as you can plainly see with Lucy. I’m always happy to hear from binge-readers! Bwency is most definitely a word, and if I ever do a continuation, I very well might make it happen! But for now, Ben is simply following this sage advice from yours truly:

Slykke: “Beautiful shit here. Binge read this in 5 days. Really liked how this was wrapped up and how you turned someone that I forgot even existed in the OS into a favorite. Lucy was amazing in this story and now holds a special place in my heart after this. Thank you for the wonderful read and I cant wait to see your next work.”

“Yes, yes! Praise me more!” -Lucy

Amin: “This has such solid plot that every other fanfic seemed inferior. I kinda wish this story was real.”

Thank you! If any Ben 10 writers are reading this and wanna retroactively make it all canon instead of the sequels, that would be just fine by me.

Guest: “when are we gonna get the Lucy route?”

Not sure. Maybe someday. I am very interested in how I could make that happen.

Guest: “Gojaimas is... GOD. He does a miracle and then leaves us. This was the second coming of Jesus Christ.”

I’m flattered, but I’ve never made a tree.

Well, that’s all for now. Bye, everybody! I hope to hear from all of you again someday!

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @marvelatmytrash for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Bee, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I think I had just turned 22, I was fresh out of undergrad and wanted a way to keep my writing and editing skills sharp while I job hunted.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I think I’ve only written reader inserts. I usually leave their physical attributes nondescript but I definitely create intense personalities to all my reader inserts. I think I do this because I want my readers to imagine themselves as these strong, kickass females, who are also vulnerable, but have weak spots, the same way all of us do. I put a lot of effort into creating strong female characters that still have flaws, no Mary Sues for me!

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I love writing Marvel. I pretty much only write Marvel, predominantly Canon because I have so much comic book knowledge, plus I love writing fight scenes.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Oh lord, probably Compensation and Consequences, its just a small little one shot that I did as a request but its a Game of Thrones AU. It definitely has some problematic choices in it, I totally shoe horned the sex and attraction into it. Overall it’s just trash.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

I always find myself writing at 1am or onwards. A lot of the time I’ll just knuckle down around 1am and do what I call a writing sprint, where I’ll write all the new parts for whatever stories I’m working on and get them all done in one night, then edit the next day and start queuing them up.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

This is so embarrassing but I get most inspired by listening to musical soundtracks. There are a couple of my stories that have direct song quotes from Waitress and Heathers. Musicals are so rich and overdramatic, they have always been a big part of my emotional development. So whenever inspiration strikes I have a whole playlist of angst songs or love songs from various musicals that I just play in the background on repeat and I will shamelessly pull lines directly from them.

7) In your Divided series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Ooo that’s such a tough one, honestly that whole series is just one of my absolute favorites. But if I had to choose, I think the chase scene in Bucharest. It’s so dynamic and there is so much happening and I honestly watched that scene frame by frame for a week and worked this original character into it step by step.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I’ve never changed the story itself. A couple times I’ve changed the formatting at peoples suggestions. I didn’t chunk my paragraphs well when I first started, but someone suggested I break it up more so I did. It’s little changes like that, but I would never change what I write because someone dislikes it. My writing is for me, I’m just sharing it with others for fun.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky. Absolutely Bucky. Though I am warming up to Steve. He has such dimension to him, he’s been a favorite of mine ever since I started reading comic books. His story is so sad and in-depth and there has always been room for new details and development in every reboot. He’s such a dynamic character and that makes him such a treat to write.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Hahaha I guess Thor, but I actively avoid writing him cause his tone is so hard to get right without over doing it, so I’m not sure if he counts. Tony is tough too, cause you want to be quippy and clever without being over the top, and that’s a very fine line.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Divided series?

I am a big fan of one word titles, maybe I am just on the Disney train with Tangled, Brave, Frozen, etc. I love it when one word can encapsulate what the series is about and also when the word has more weight than just it’s basic meaning. Aftershocks, my first series, is a good example of this. The main character has suffered from shock torture and has a lot of scars and residual issues from it, but Aftershocks is also a psych term sometimes used to refer to the radiating effects of PTSD on the victim and those around them. Divided was the same way, it encapsulated both the theme of Civil War which is the changing and division of Tony and Steve’s relationship and also shows how Bucky and Steve, though still perceived as a unit are Divided now by not only their different experiences but their competition for the same woman.

12) How did you come up with the idea for Divided series?

I’m honestly not entirely sure. I had this basic idea of working a reader into Bucky’s story in Civil War, but the original plan didn’t have Steve involved at all and definitely wasn’t on the level that Divided eventually became. Once I decided that the reader would start with Steve, it immediately raised the stakes of the whole story and this character of The Scorpion began to take shape. After that, the whole thing got pretty easy, she was a fully formed character and a lot of what happened in Divided was just me asking myself what choices this character would make and how the surrounding characters would honestly respond. I try really hard to just develop my characters thoroughly and then let them make honest choices, I think that’s the best way to keep a story real and authentic.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Oh yes, my hidden shame, and it haunts me. It’s called Royal Flush, and it currently has 3 parts. It’s a T’Challa fic and a lot of people have found it and liked it and I feel so guilty that it hasn’t gone anywhere in a year. Honestly, this mess up is totally on me. I never draft out my stories, and I know I should, I usually just make it up as I got along and sometimes I just hit a blockade with where it’s going to go. I definitely want to finish that fic, but just have no idea how, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, throw them my way!

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’m going to say Divided, just because it is one of my favorites and I so deeply love Scorpion as a character. Her struggle in Divided was so hard and I hate to leave her there just heartbroken. I have drafted a couple followups for that story, but after how Infinity War ended, I feel like it would just be cruel to put her through losing Bucky all over again.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I am happy to say that there are none that I would do differently. I’m extremely content in how they all ended.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I mean first and foremost, I have to talk about @imhereforbvcky, she was my first real friend on here. We started talking when I was writing Aftershocks and I eventually convinced her to take a crack at writing herself and she finally did and wrote this incredible fic, I’ll Be Good. It honestly is so amazing! Mee specializes in the fem fatale, she writes these incredible badasses that are all dark and twisty, I honestly don’t know how she makes violence so elegant, but she does.

@denialanderror is another one, her Melodies series is so perfect and lovely, she gets this beautiful vulnerability to Bucky that just attacks my heart. It’s such a wonderful change of pace from the way that I write and I always reread it whenever I need to be reminded of the soft parts in his personhood. I honestly love it so much and recommend it to everyone. Plus she is an amazing friend and such a fun person to send memes back and forth with.

Finally @bitsandbobsandstuff just full on destroyed me as a person with Safe With Me. That story honestly puts everything I’ve ever written to shame, her deep understanding of Bucky as a character is just like nothing else I’ve ever read. It’s such an in-depth story with an incredible slow burn, if you haven’t read it yet, you are missing out.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I cringe a little bit with Aftershocks, my first series, but I also see a lot of value in it. Whenever I get stuck or think my writing isn’t good enough, I reread it and remind myself how far I have come as a writer, and that always helps to get me back on track.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Both, sometimes I just have the same song playing on repeat in the background, other times I need complete silence cause the monologue in my head is flowing so quickly. I definitely edit in silence, I cannot hear my tone or catch my mistakes when rereading if I don’t have silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Hahaha I have, I cried while writing a couple parts of Divided, that story is very close to my heart cause the love triangle in it is unfortunately something that happened to me, and I accidentally hurt someone I cared for a lot.

20) Which part of your Divided series fic was the hardest to write?

Hahaha probably the one or two sex scenes I snuck into it hahaha. It was just not a story that really leant itself to smut. Like you’re not going to be running for your life, camping out with fellow teammates and just quietly have a fuck in the dirt. So squeezing those sex scenes in there always felt a bit funny to me, but I think in the long run they both fit and were put in at appropriate times.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I probably should make an outline but I always just go with the flow, I honestly have no idea where my stories are going till they get there. But I do reread my story whenever I get stuck so that way I can tie things back in or close up lose ends.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

To breakup my paragraphs and use the keep reading button hahaha

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I am currently feeling that way about a story I just started called Siren’s Soldier, so I paused it for a little bit to see if it was worth continuing but it recently got a bunch of love while I was in Italy so it might be time to come back to it.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Nothing that I’ve written to be honest. There are a couple of exceptionally problematic stories that have an absurd amount of notes and that bums me out, just because I don’t like seeing those kind of relationships idolized or modeled. To clarify, the issue I have is that these kind of stories have a lot of gas lighting, self harm, non consensual sex, and sometimes even violent relationship dynamics. I work very hard to make sure that my characters model healthy relationship habits and positive communication because we need to stop romanticizing rape and abuse in relationships, so it bugs me when fics that do that are popular.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I model my readers off of specific parts on my own personality. I essentially take one side of myself and just exacerbate it into a whole character. I am a very independent person and a feminist myself so a lot of my female characters have those similar qualities of independence and confidence. Especially when doing reader inserts, you want to make the character someone that you yourself want to be, your alter ego, someone to escape to. That’s why I’ll let my characters, be selfish or shitty communicators but I’ll never let them get down on themselves, we do enough of that in our real lives, lets not do it in our fantasy lives.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Hmmm this is a hard one, @imhereforbvcky sent me a very disarming compliment the other day that totally moved me to tears. But most of the ones that really hit me are when people recognize the amount of effort that goes into everything, or when they message me to talk about my story and see all the little easter eggs I’ve tossed into the early chapters. I also live for every reblog you’ve ever done, they always make me feel so loved and valued, I’ve honestly have gone back and reread your reblogs when I’m feeling down on my writing and they always pick me back up. It takes a lot of time to create a world and characters and tie everything together in one neat story and having that recognized always makes my heart sing!

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten a lot of harsh criticism, I’ve gotten bullshit anonymous messages that are just mean, but no real criticism. I’ve gotten constructive criticism but a lot of that has been kind and helpful so I don’t take that personally at all.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

@imhereforbvcky and @denialanderror and I have a group chat on instagram so whenever I’m particularly jazzed about something I drop the premise into that chat and get their feedback but most of my big twists or turns I keep close to my chest so that way they can be a surprise to everyone.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction? In my real life?

Some people. My best friend knows but she’s never read it. My boyfriend knows and sometimes reads the smut I write and will use it against me in bed. He frequently likes to quote some of my own lines to me, he thinks its funny, I don’t find it as amusing. But he is a lot of my inspiration for writing positive relationship dynamics, we work really hard at having a healthy, communicative relationship and that manifests in my writing frequently.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I really like Om, this character I wrote for Siren’s Soldier, they are non binary and do not have a set gender identity so that was fun to play with and extrapolate on, especially because their non-binary personality had a lot to do with their power so that was really cool to explore to explore.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

I generally get really excited when things are free flowing so I guess I spur myself on. I take a lot of joy and pleasure in the things I write and feel my stomach twist when I’m writing suspenseful parts, so a lot of it is just my own enjoyment.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

I’m a sucker for the slow burn, so I love writing the enemies become lovers trope. Usually I don’t actually start them as real enemies, but they never start close or as friends. I’m not a big fan of the falling in love with my best friend trope, as I have a bunch of guy friends that I have never once had an urge to fall in love with haha.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh god, I honestly can’t. I wish I could. I didn’t start reading fanfic until after Civil War came out and I graduated from college. I remember being in a place where I was just disenchanted with porn but I was super into marvel so I went looking for marvel smut on the internet and found the Bucky smut rabbit hole. I remember reading a lot of different stories and never finding exactly what I wanted and also finding a lot of problematic sexual relationships. At that time I was working as a sex education teacher and I remember thinking that I could write better smut with healthier relationship dynamics, and I did. That’s how it all started.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Ooooh blimey, this is impossible because I write a combination of all three most times. I guess I would have to say angst, causing it doesn’t get boring so easily. There are so many angst tropes to explore and play with. So yes, definitely angst.