#I have not watched Fated but every character from it compels me so.

[blackwomeninstarwars]

#i am still in awe of the fact that leslye headland pulled out every incorrect equation time and time again yet still ended up w/#an incredibly compelling and interesting and exciting (for me at least) end result despite having all these fucked up insights along the wa#she gave us force ivf lesbians and the chosen one but as twins and sadder and then she said 'actually no they're not gay sorry'#MA'AM YOU ARE A LESBIAN#she gave us a father figure who loved his daughter so much. who was so selfish w/ that love that he destroyed her with it#she gave us a man who wished he was the hero while also knowing he's the villain. ARGUABLY ONE OF THE MOST INTRIGUING IDEAS EVER#and then she turned around and said 'yeah so sol is actually sexist against osha and steals her agency by letting her kill him'#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#IN WHAT WORLD. IS SOL A SEXIST.#she gave us a really interesting take on the 'jedi turned sith' character. goofy conniving hot sad down bad etc etc.#i think qimir is a multifaceted and excellent villain and i want more of him because of his complexity#and then she turned his LITERAL MASSACRE OF INNOCENT JEDI + OSHA MURDERING IN COLD BLOOD into a moment of triumph???#I THOUGHT THE POINT OF THE FINALE WAS THAT. IT'S SAD THAT OSHA FELL SO FAR. BC EVERYTHING HAS PUSHED HER OVER THE EDGE#I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS THAT SHE DESERVED JUSTICE BUT NO ONE GAVE IT TO HER SO SHE TOOK IT IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE#LIKE. IT'S A TRAGEDY BC SHE LOST HERSELF ALONG THE WAY. BC OF SOL. BC OF QIMIR. BC OF MAE EVEN. (?)#IT'S NOT A TRAGEDY BC HER REYLO MOMENT DOESN'T LAST. LESYLE HEADLAND WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU#watching the finale for me didn't feel like a moment of triumph it felt like osha had been manipulated into it & was accepting her fate#bc every time qimir has reached out for her w/ tenderness affection etc she's either neutral to it or ignores it. like....#idk i've read the entire season as her being totally uninterested but qimir being way too interested.#the fact that they filmed a series finale kiss absolutely blows my mind bc. in what world. is osha letting him kiss her.#i'm sorry i just don't see it. i see it from qimir's perspective/ his own desires but i don't see osha wanting that#she just lost her sister + killed her dad and now she's going off to smooch???? whack (@slutcoded-mandogirl)

Osha joining the Dark Side was a triumphant moment.

The writer of the Acylote said that is how we're supposed to feel:

"You want to feel Osha’s triumph. You want to feel her joining forces with The Stranger...Even though they are standing there, looking out at the sunset, ready to conquer the world, the tragedy is we know they don’t."

Note: the tragedy is NOT that a lot of people died, but that the two can't be together (because of Plagueis). (interview here)

Now, if that doesnt absolve villains of their bullshit, I dont know what does.

Let me try inserting some other fictional baddies.

"You want to feel Walter White's triumph. You want to feel him joining forces with the Nazis......Even though they are standing there, looking out at the desert, ready to conquer the world, the tragedy is we know they don’t."

"You want to feel the Frey's triumph. You want to feel them joining forces with the Boltons. ...Even though they are standing there, looking out over the Red Wedding, ready to conquer the world, the tragedy is we know they don’t."

"You want to feel Anakin's triumph. You want to feel him joining forces with Palpatine. ...Even though they are standing there, looking out at the burning Jedi temple, ready to conquer the world, the tragedy is we know they don’t."

[dawnlotus-draws]

Hey! @fishcop I heard you liked Scythebelts! So I drew your rarepair for @jrwi-art-exchange ^^

Extras below the cut :3

Had tons of fun drawing them! :D

[ishallgivehimupforever]

Here We go again Bellarke warriors, if you can hear me, it's been about 1680 days since I stopped caring (or so I thought)

I hadn't been to tumblr in years, before I decided to give the 100 a rewatch in June of this year, as I had given up somewhere around the start of season 5 (I remember hating the LONG ass timeskip teased at the end of S4, I guess some other media must have swallowed me during hiatus, and when I tried to give that season a chance I vividly remember 1) I couldn't see shit on my screen 2) I hated what the timeskip did to the established relationships) and so I dropped it for good, looking back I almost can't believe I could just...not finish it like that because let me tell you I did NOT fuck about Clarke and Bellamy, and Raven, and Monty, and probably some other characters back in 2015-2016. I think I maybe did not appreciate season 4 enough at the time it was airing (because I think binge-watching is very flattering for that season, watching it live I remember it was frustrating to watch the characters go on side quests in 4A) but now knowing what the character arcs are and where it was going makes it my second-favorite season. BUT, I digress, wow. This is meant to be a rambling, incohisive love letter to the compelling relationship between Bellamy and Clarke. I warn you, they truly do not fucking leave you as it turns out. I would go to the trenches for them back in my fandom days in 2015-17, and I realised, after binge-waching the show over 4 sleepless nights (seasons 1-6, which are the only seasons in existence, obviously)that I STILL just FUCKING CARE SO MUCH. I NEVER CARED ABOUT FICTIONAL CHARACTERS SO MUCH AS CARE FOR THESE TWO SEPARATELY, AND AS SOULMATES. Because let me tell you, Clarke and Bellamy, they fucking love each. Like actual, happens-only-in-romances LOVE. It is frankly INSANE how JRoth, K*m Shum and other managed to gaslight me over some of the bellarke scenes in S2-S3 as to make me think it's in my (and thousand's of fans') head WHEN IT IS SO FUCKING OBVIOUS FROM SCORE, EDITING CHOICES, LONGING LOOK SHOTS, HANDS SHOTS, LINES, AND FINALLY, ACTING AND DIRECTION THAT THESE TWO ARE LOVERS.

I have never, ever, before or since, followed two characters who were so compatible, so equal, so trusting in each other, so open with one another, so mindful of the other's emotions and needs, so so so made for each other, that it is no surprise to me that they are top 10 F/M pairing on AO3. Because Bellamy and Clarke would fall in love in every imaginable scenario, in every universe, across time. I am not usually that cheesy or cringy, but it is true. I could not put my finger on why they are my absolute favorite to read fanfic for and then it occurred to me. That as long as the hands of fate put these two in proximity of each other, it;s a done deal. That chemistry transcends the limits of a single tv show. The depth with how Clarke and Bellamy love each other honestly makes me pause for breath sometimes. It is not just the iconic, famous bellarke scenes, but also the quiet moments.

Like in 6x05 or 6x06 (cant remember) when Clarke's body was stolen by Josephine after her one-night stand with Cillian. (stay with me) Bellamy, unaware that Clarke isn't herself at that point, comes over to chat, he's clearly at least a bit jealous over her sleeping with Cillian, and yet he says "happiness looks good on you" with that wide, earnest smile. And just wow. How must he love her, to be so utterly happy for her own happiness that has in that instance nothing to do with him. so selfless. well, selfless is basically Bellamy's middle name.

Or how in season 4, after a lot of the characters and at times the narrative wanted to push this idea on Clarke that she is the sole leader of her people, gets right back on track to her co-leader dynamic with Bellamy, constantly checking with him, considering his input, and respecting choices that she herself would maybe not make (releasing the ensalved arkadians and grounders vs ensuring they get a machine necessary to generate water) but always understanding that these choices agree with his core values, and she loves him for it.

This post is way too long. I love Bellamy. I love Clarke. People often use the 'MY PARENTS" about ships on twitter, and you know what, in my case that's kinda true with bellarke. I met these characters when I was 15. I am 25 now, and with an adult perspective to my surprise I found their relationship even more profound then I remembered, and I was insanse about them already. They are truly THE power couple of all time. I miss the 100, If you wanna ramble about it together, feel welcome to send me ask, I'd love to have an excuse to share some of my (sometimes unpopular) opinions lol.

[glassofgretel]

My honest opinion on Evillious Chronicles...I believe the series is truly deep and beautifully written, but there are some personal issues I have with it.

I don't really care about the point and message of the Evillious Chronicle series nor the concept of "morally gray", I only believe in good, evil and the consequences of our own actions. MOTHY has made an amazing story that we all still enjoy ~16 years later, but I have to disagree with his philosophy and outlook on the world, ours differ greatly– Though he has some valid points, it's rather naïve IMO... and while it's compelling storywise and from an emotional perspective, it isn't as much realistically or from a political/social standpoint of right and wrong.

Morality never mattered in the first place, because evil always succeeds if it has enough power or deems its deeds necessary for a "greater benefit"... Good and evil are both necessary forces that exist to maintain the balance of this universe, just as our fate dictates.

Personally, I'm starting to see far more evil and corruption than light and hope in today's politics and throughout our society's history, so I only get pissed the fuck off whenever I see a political debate between self-righteous snowflakes on Twitter or Reddit (Especially the Character rant mfs), with each side claiming that they're right and the other is evil.

Even though morality is literally IRRELEVANT in politics, it has always been about interests and agendas in the end. If anything, there are only two lesser and greater evils. 💀

I'm no Altright-winger either, as some idiots on Discord might say... I'm more of a Pan-Arab nationalist but I just hate politics in general. Because if anything, we humans deserve all the shit that's coming to us. And trust me, I HATE Hitler with every fiber of my being... but if I were in his shoes, I would've done far worse with all the scum and idiocy in this world.

As for Riliane Lucifen, despite her awful deeds, she was still somewhat good at heart. Unlike the two-faced hypocrites over at the USA, Russia, China and Israeli governments, and especially those scumbags Adolf/Stalin... But it still doesn't excuse her actions despite her lack of moral agency, neither does her being possessed and manipulated by the demons.

So let's stop painting her as some sort of saint, she was a broken kid who deserved her redemption and a second chance- but that's all there is...

Because we know damn well that would NEVER fly in our reality, even if she was truly genuine about making amends.And I don't want to be like her or Nemesis lol, I prefer the likes of Frieza, Judge Holden, King Piccolo etc. as role models, because at least they're purely evil and honest about their philosophy, they embrace it to reach their own goals. Unlike most of our world's society...

I would say I am Near Pure evil though, since I have clear moral standards and my own personal law, I can discern right from wrong- But I'm not really much better than Hitler myself, and I am wrong more often than I'm right. I just despise everything wrong with the world, but I don't intend to change it for the better either. I don't even care about ending the cycle of violence and hate, infact I want to keep it going for my own benefit. That is the path I've chosen for myself and I embrace it fully with no guilt or regrets, even if it might be the wrong one.

I'm not just being pretentious or edgy either, I am simply disappointed and frustrated with this reality- I've had enough of this world and want to watch it burn. I enjoy treating evil with even worse evil, fighting fire with fire- Because it turns me on, gives me a greater purpose and sense of fulfilment too.

I'm sorry I really don't know how to answer this, it's the most concerning message I've ever received in my entire life

[eternalglitch]

Right okay so slightly different from my usual programming but after three years of Rise brainrot the turtles have been finally vacated and I must discuss my new blorbos with great fondness at least a little. (Do not worry about my ongoing fic. That is almost my own personal blorbos at this point and I must see them off to a happy ending.)

So I've always had terrible auditory processing skills, to the point where I have made it through one (1) podcast despite my many attempts otherwise and thought this meant I was locked out of the fun dnd content.

And then one of my favorite fanfic authors from a few years back started reblogging Dimension 20's Neverafter art.

Now I had at a problem because if they endorsed this and then I spotted a character that literally seemed to be crafted to fit my interests, I had to at least poke my head into the show. So I sat down and watched episode one.

That was about two weeks ago. Almost immediately I dragged more friends into watch parties to catch up to the campaign and have gotten a SOLID chunk of my close friends into it already. This campaign is something else, the way it just grabs you in a way that I thought would never happen for me for a dnd campaign.

So (and some Neverafter spoilers ahead) Neverafter is a story about fairytale characters fighting against their "destiny" or "roles." As the world changes and their tales progressively darken, they start learning about the concept of authors, and how bad things happen to them just because an impartial outside force finds it the most interesting. The horror of being the wrong version of the story, of knowing your story should have been happy and is not. Or knowing that your story is destined to be tragic and you have no say in the matter.

And honestly every single character is compelling in their own way!

Pinocchio is the one that lured me into the story. A puppet that was given life and, after completing the traditional narrative to his story, breaks his promise to the fairy and lies to save his father's life. His lie transforms him back into a puppet, where he becomes entangled into lying more and more and more and backed into a corner by a cruel warlock patron that is essentially holding his father hostage. He's snapped his own nose off because although his own rules (his nose growing) are still in place, the world has changed. His back is against the wall and this is a scared child trying to save his dad. (He's also hilarious and swears like he just learned what the word fuck is.)

Sleeping Beauty is a victim to her story being events that happen TO her but at no point does she get allowed any initiative. When she wakes up to find no prince waiting for her, she has to learn that maybe waiting for her happily ever after isn't what would make her happy and she has to take matters back into her own hands.

Puss in Boots (Pib) is seemingly (there's more to it) a normal cat that happens to have also tricked an entire kingdom before fleeing and abandoning the kingdom to a dark fate. He lies for fun and is a great partner in crime to Pinocchio.

Red Riding Hood is a child that killed her own family when the big bad wolf gave her lycanthropy before begging her to kill him. She's a girl that is seeking parental love and guidance, and she views herself as a monster unworthy of the very love she seeks.

The Frog Prince is what I consider the dark horse favorite; Gerard got his happily ever after and his standard story happened, but after marrying his true love and time passed, he started to turn back into a frog. As his wife and him argued and started seeing each other's perspectives less and less, he became more and more froglike. Now that she's gone missing after heading off to war, Gerard has to face his own cowardice and come to terms with what really was the thing that drove a wedge in between them. (I love him. So much. He's extremely flawed and such a three-dimensional character.)

Mother Timothy Goose is a man that lost his child to an evil goose called the Gander, and is currently being hunted down by the same creature. He accidentally entered a contractual three wishes deal with it, his own wish being to find a way to save his dead son. This has granted him a magical book that has much deeper abilities than merely bringing his own son back from the dead, and he's one of the people that can help right the wrongs going on in the land of Neverafter even as he is hunted by the Gander as it tries to make him use his final wish.

So, yeah. I recommend trying it if you like horror and fairytales. It's fun. (I am not normal about it.)

[harocat]

I really want to babble about how thematically, this ending makes no sense, and it's so contrary to what we've seen up to this point, and how it's not just that it's sad and that TTJ deserves better (though both are true); it's a story about a man who wanted to die that ends up with him… basically committing assisted suicide to save the world, because well, I guess he was right to want to die all along, even though his reasons were ALWAYS because of the cruelty of others, not because of his own self.

Then he finally gains agency and a life that he wants to live, a simple life filled with love and fulfillment that is enough for him, and he doesn't want to die any longer. And it’s taken away from him and he is forced to go back into that mindset of seeking death. He was ready to live. He’d defied fate and he was ready to live. It’s bad. It’s not fulfilling. We already KNEW he would do anything to save LSS and her world. We didn’t need that proven.

It doesn't matter how hard you fight against your fate, how much you love and how much you strive to be a better person, if you are doomed to suffer and die, you will, is what TTJ's story tells us. And if you want to die, you may as well give in, because happiness never lasts.

I also want to ramble about how unfair it was to LSS, who at the end was deprived of agency and essentially just shifted around wherever she was needed, not being allowed to make decisions of her own. How episode thirty-five WOULD have been a much better ending, and if anything, what we see in TTJ's bo’re life in episode thirty-nine reinforces this.

But more than that it's just upsetting to me because this was such a good show, that presented such compelling ideas and did so in SUCH an entertaining way. And yes the scenery and costumes and aesthetics absolutely slapped. It's gorgeous as hell. But also the character dynamics were interesting and complex, and their relationships were easy to get invested in. There were fascinating relationships among the entire cast as well, not just between the leads and couples (XL and TTJ, LSS and Pian Ran). Yes, there were missteps along the way; the dream arc was about twice as long as it needed to be, and even Clam Gege and his sparkles could not save it, the show plodded along a bit in the early thirties (episodes like thirty-three were super disjointed because of time cuts), Mo Nv was added in as a new character for who knows what reason, etc. But nothing is perfect. This is still one of the better shows I’ve watched in a long time, and I was on edge for every new episode. A genuine enemies to lovers story with chemistry and anguish, hatred and tenderness, sometimes all at the same time. I was obsessed.

And… Tantai Jin is one of the best male leads I’ve seen for years. He’s so layered, so interesting, and so heartbreaking, and Yunxi does a beyond incredible job with every moment of his portrayal of him. He’s legitimately a tour de force in the role. Yunxi and Bai Lu both deserved better than this. But a great lead requires deserves a story that lives up to him, and TtEotM isn't that.

I hate that TTJ is going to probably kind of fade into obscurity, at least among English speaking fans, because people are going to be rightfully wary of recommending this drama now. And I can’t blame people, because if I’d known the ending, I probably wouldn’t have watched either. It left me feeling so empty today, and not in a ‘wow hurts so good’ way that true, well done, and cathartic tragedy does.

One can hope youku releases a ‘fix it’ clip like has happened with some other shows, that at least gives a happier ending for TTJ and LSS. Even then, that’s kind of putting a bandaid over a gaping wound, because a lot of the issues with the ending will still exist, but at least it might make it so I can recommend it with a ‘yeah the ending isn’t great, but it’s overall really good.’ And no the audio clip does not cut it.

[donnerpartyofone]

Everything I Watched While I Was Recovering From the Plague

I have a fantasy that watching a bunch of movies of wildly varying quality and content in close proximity can really bend your wires out of shape, like being exposed to too much radiation. I like to tell people that I had to get all those eye surgeries because of all the deranged stuff I subject my eyeballs to. My criteria for this marathon were "movies I want to watch but it's never 'the right time'" and "movies my sick husband in the next room is not interested in".

THE IRON CLAW: Pretty much the big, dumb, lummoxy movie that you might expect. The script is surprisingly weak--the girlfriend declares that everything is a matter of fate minutes before saying "I believe we make our own luck"??--but the family curse part is sort of compelling in spite of it all. I admit I was partially in it for the freak show of muscle mania; for various cultural reasons the way bodies were presented (and the kinds of bodies people aspired to have) in the '80s was so different than it is now, the exhibition of flesh had a very different kind of character that's hard to describe but this movie with its bulbous wrestler bodies filling the screen gave me flashbacks. Zac Efron should keep his He-Man haircut.

DARK HARVEST: I've been struggling to describe this certain type of movie that's very form over function, with a pretty specific form: there's like a really forced "stylized" nostalgia thing with a lot of humorless "weirdness" attached in movies like FINAL GIRL and KNIVES AND SKIN, and to some degree THE REFLECTING SKIN although that's a more sophisticated example (that I still don't enjoy). Anyway DARK HARVEST adds a Pumpkinhead guy (not pictured below) to the mix, and he looks pretty good at least.

THANKSGIVING: Well it's the best movie Eli Roth has made in a long time! It's OK. I like that the inciting incident is a Black Friday stampede, but it's too bad he didn't have the means to make it look more convincing; it feels like about a 150 people running around yelling and there's conspicuous amount of breathing room for the victims getting "crushed".

ZONE OF INTEREST: A tour of the ogre's castle, creepy and effective. Łukasz Żal's spy cam setup cleverly establishes a sense of being trapped in forbidden chambers.

GODLAND: Danish priest makes the perilous journey to Iceland, is a complete asshole to everyone he meets. Interesting, but more beautiful than interesting.

LINGERING: Goofy K horror in which a handful of different neurotic women are relentlessly mean to a small child. I often wonder about this trope of like, someone who is categorically unsuited to parenthood gets saddled with an orphan, and they REALLY don't want to adopt the orphan, but eventually they turn against their own personality and rational estimation of means because the orphan is so cute and/or sad. The implication seems to be that every one of us can and should be parents, and maybe this is even related to the (usually comedic) trope of the solitary curmudgeon who just wants to be left alone, until they undergo some kind of forced exposure therapy at the hands of their nosy neighbors who insist that no human being could actually enjoy their own company. This is an ongoing concern for me.

UNREST: Anarchist watch factory workers in love. Second movie in the list that uses early photography as a motif (also GODLAND). Pretty interesting formally, and I like all the stuff about the development and spread of standardized hourly time.

WITCHHAMMER: 1970 Czech allegory for Communist "show trials". Man, whether you're making an exploitation movie or a political statement, witch hunt movies are always tough stuff, huh?

HONEYCOMB: A woman unravels mentally when her childhood furniture arrives at her home, and she and her husband play out a series of weird infantile psychodramas as an escape from the pressures of their bourgeois existence. More interesting than enjoyable, and I'm not always sure how interesting it really is. There's a certain brand of European '60s filmmaking that involves a lot of improvised shrieking and laughing and crying and rolling around on the floor that makes me question whether it's really as hollow as I think it is, or if I'm just not a sophisticated enough viewer to understand the power of it, or if its original power was really dependent on its context in the development of cinema. Maybe the answer is a little of everything.

THE SWEET HOURS: A Spanish writer's latest play parses the Freudian mysteries of his childhood, and he fully immerses himself in the rehearsals to seek the truth by reliving his memories. It's actually not that deep but maintains a great air of importance anyway.

NIGHT GAMES: A young aristocrat brings his bride to his childhood manse where their surroundings trigger immersive memories of his debauched youth, in which--wait a minute, am I watching the same fucking movie for the third time? Not really but that was weird. Criterion notes that this is supposedly John Waters' favorite movie, which makes a lot of sense when you've heard him say that he used to force Divine to drop acid with him and go see Bergman movies, which Divine HATED. What's really funny to me is that if you basically do not want to drop acid and watch a Bergman movie then you'd think nothing could make you do it more than once! The idea of John Waters tricking Divine into doing this repeatedly is fucking hilarious.

SAM NOW: Disturbing documentary made by some young dudes trying to find out why their mother suddenly abandoned them when they were kids. It's a decent enough movie but I was extremely unsettled by the blithe naivete of the young brothers set against the increasingly obvious fact that there's something pretty bad going on with the mom. Get ready for a lot of discomfort and unresolved questions if you watch this.

LIZZIE: Why is it that nobody has made a good Lizzie Borden movie? It's one of those overly familiar tales that's just sitting there in plain view still waiting for a solid adaptation, kind of like The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but that at least has the great Disney cartoon in among all the so-so film attempts. You really want this to be good with Kirsten Stewart and Chloe Sevigny AND Denis O'Hare who I love to death, but it's just not that compelling. Actually it doesn't even dig into the most interesting details of the story in my opinion, I guess we needed to save time for extra lesbian makeouts. Also I hate to say it but Chloe Sevigny is really miscast; I love her but her whole thing is being really easy-going and natural, and that doesn't really work for this character (or she's not getting the direction that worked on AHS). Oh well.

MAIDSTONE: See my notes at the end of HONEYCOMB. I found this almost totally unwatchable. I've never read any Norman Mailer. Is Norman Mailer still cool, or did he just seem cool to some people at the time? Was Norman Mailer sort of like an adolescent rebellion phase that American literature had to go through in order to get to wherever it is now? A cursory review of his legacy seems to indicate this. Or maybe it's just really hard for me to sympathize with someone who goes way out of his way to piss off women, and then his defense against the inevitable backlash is "SEE? Feminism is fascist bullshit because look how I'm being treated!" I still see men do this on the smaller scale of their personal relationships--you know the drill, drive some poor woman insane, and then when she acts insane, invalidate everything she says by calling her insane--and they don't even need the excuse of clumsy satire to keep doing it, so forgive me if I don't find this approach very radical. And that's all setting aside Mailer's fetishization of the American Negro for whom it is not my place to speak, but you can imagine what that consists of if you don't already know. In any case I did not enjoy this movie, but I was on the edge of my seat the entire time waiting for the infamous Rip Torn hammer attack. I developed this whole fantasy that Rip Torn must reach a point where he just can't take it anymore and he tries to kill Norman Mailer. I mean *I* sure wanted to kill Norman Mailer, somebody has to do it, right? There are several moments in the film where it seems like someone has finally snapped and the cathartic murder might take place. What actually happens is that Rip Torn wanders up to Norman Mailer with a claw hammer, totally wild-eyed, and declares that he has finally understood that this great work of art can only be resolved with the death of the character Mailer plays. He really seems to believe what he's saying, and the sequence is extremely disturbing. In a way it's even disappointing, there were perfectly good, sober reasons to kill Norman Mailer without putting an unstable person in a chaotic and violent situation where he might naturally flip the fuck out! If MAIDSTONE has anything to tell us about the myth of the cowboy auteur, it might be that somebody like Norman Mailer shouldn't have free reign to abuse large groups of people even in the name of social critique or whatever, because one of them might turn out to be fucking crazy.

WANDA: I love movies that are made in Pittsburgh, I find them all totally fascinating. Or even just Pittsburgh-adjacent, like contrary to everybody else my favorite part of THE DEER HUNTER is the very beginning with the wedding, it's totally captivating to me. Anyway this is an odd, grimy little drama written and directed by Barbara Loden in which she plays the most incompetent woman in the world. It's a good time for a bad time, and if you're watching closely you'll see a poster for THE BRAINIAC in one of the scenes!

KISS DADDY GOODBYE: Obscure psychic kids movies starring Marilyn Burns and Fabian. Marilyn Burns is the nice teacher and Fabian is the cop who try to solve the mystery of the psychic kids, so they inevitably have sex because we have time for that I guess, but man Fabian's like roadside bachelor pad is SO SCARY. It has to be somebody's real hoarder house and it looks like it should be condemned, I felt nervous for Marilyn Burns! Marilyn Burns do NO eat or drink anything that comes out of that kitchen! Have you had your tetanus shot Marilyn Burns? Please run screaming, this is not a normal bachelor pad mess and it is not a good place for you to be naked!

The End.

[forcebookish]

new fic masterlist (now by fandom!)

(tumblr now suppresses internal AND external links, so i may as well have the proper links in the original posts going forward.)

organized by alphabetized media type (ctrl + f: ANIME/MANGA, COMICS+, RPF, and THAI DRAMAS to find what you're looking for), then in order of most recent to least recent.

ANIME/MANGA

the weight in her heart (2/5) BLEACH M | IchiRuki | 10,509 WC

In the span of a few days, Ichigo goes from giving the transfer student a ride to school on his bicycle to watching her die right in front of him. With nowhere else to go, Rukia’s ghost haunts him, hoping to find out what killed her and move on. Claiming it’s only about getting her out of his closet, Ichigo does everything he can to help her move on—including confronting her family and, of all things, going on a date. Yet the more he does for her, the less he wants to let her go. And the closer they become, the heavier the Chain of Fate on Rukia’s chest grows.

COMICS+

kiss you or kick you (4/5) Captain America (MCU) M | SteveBucky (Stucky) | 15,710 WC

All I had to do was hold him. After the fallout from the Sokovia Accords, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Wanda find refuge in a Wakandan safe house. Desperate to keep Bucky by his side, Steve convinces him not to go back on ice and instead try to loosen Hydra’s grip on his mind. With the help of Shuri and Wanda, Steve tries to put back Bucky’s pieces in the hopes they can finally be together—but what if they’re both too broken to reach for each other? What if it’s like Bucky falling from the train all over again? (Takes place after the events of Captain America: Civil War.)

self defense (one shot) Wonder Woman (DCEU) G | Diana/Barbara (WonderCheetah) | 1,113 WC

Diana may have taught Barbara self defense, but there’s no defense against their mutual attraction.

RPF

thirty minutes (one shot) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) E | ForceBook | 3,800 WC

So much of Force and Book’s life together is play pretend, the boundaries between them and their characters drawn out in bold—but for thirty minutes every week, the lines blur.

melt away (one shot) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) G | ForceBook | 1,374 WC

Force reminds Book of who he is; he always has. After a day without Force on the Only Friends set, Book has a hard time getting out of Mew’s mindset and the anger he has for Top’s betrayal—so he goes to Force’s to remember what it’s like to love him.

slow down (2/2, sequel to Love Out Loud) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) T | ForceBook | 1,556 WC

1. like gravity would betray him: A sleepy, clingy Force helps calm Book before a daunting Only Friends shoot. 2. standing in the eye of a typhoon: Between takes, Book struggles with the most challenging scene in episode six and Force helps him focus.

Love Out Loud (2/2) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) G | ForceBook | 1,406 WC

1. I wouldn’t want it with anyone else. After the whirlwind weekend of the 2023 Love Out Loud Fan Fest, Book needs a hug to get to sleep; so does Force. 2. You’re supposed to say it back. (Prequel.) Backstage, Force has a hard time meeting Book’s eyes—but that’s not what Book is looking for.

THAI DRAMAS

make my heart tremble (one shot) Only Friends M | TopMew | 4,385 WC

(Episode 9) After his blow-out fight with Ray, Mew gets wasted and runs into Top at YOLO; he can’t tell if Top is the last person he wants to see or the only one.

a compelling argument (one shot) Only Friends E | TopMew | 2,044 WC

(Episode 11) Top proves to Mew one of the benefits of living with him.

False Alarm (one shot) Only Friends T | TopMew | 1,145 WC

Since the fire at the hotel, Top’s dreams have gotten worse. Even Mew’s presence cannot fight all the demons in his head.

taste you again (one shot) Only Friends E | TopMew | 1,128 WC

(Episode 4) “You wanna go faster? After making me wait so long to taste you again?”

Thunderstruck (one shot) Enchanté T | AkkTheo | 713 WC

Recently married, Theo still protects Akk from thunder like when they were kids.

more than forever (one shot) A Boss and A Babe E | GunCher | 2,311 WC

(Episode 12) Cher left because he wanted—wants—to be with Gun forever, and Gun means to hold him to that.

Extrême (one shot) A Boss and A Babe E | GunCher | 4,536 WC

Cher loves Gun’s new cologne; Gun just loves Cher—publicly and privately.

these are only the fics i've written since i started my blog/under the farewellswords pseud; check out my ao3 for older ones!

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about 2 Worlds episode 6:

I made some guesses when I saw the promo pictures and as always I was mostly wrong at trying to find the plot of this episode. So here we go!

This episode was mostly divided in two parts. A very short first part, in the present tense where Kram, after kissing Tai, wasn't really sure about why he acted this way if he is supposed to be in love with Phupha. Since, he was lost, he decided to spend some time away from Tai to sort of his feelings. However, in doing this, he hurt Tai's feelings and Tai felt they should stop spending time together. I know it's not easy for Kram, but I understand why Tai felt this way. It hurts. He thought he got a second chance of loving Kram, but turns out it's not possible and he has to experience grief again.

I think it's understable Kram needed time to sort of his feeling. As he spent many time with Tai, he started to develop love feelings. He came in World 2 to save Phupha and he stayed for Tai.

(This is not the face of someone who is happy...)

We don't know if Phupha from World 2 really has feeling for Kram. It usually feels like he is grateful and friendly, but nothing like his counterpart from World 1 who never shy about how he felt for Kram.

(Kram finally understanding what was so obvious from the beginning)

The second part of this episode was the flashback explaining to the viewer and Kram from World 1, how Tai and Kram from World 2 met each other, spent time together and fell in love for one another. It was sweet, steamy and so cute.

It's hard to know which relationship you should like more, because Kram with Phupha in World 1 were really adorable and Kram with Tai in World 2, were also meant to be. This is really a cruel twist of fate that Kram World 2 and Phupha World 1 died. The love triangle is killing me. Of course, the episode stopped before giving us the answer: how did Kram from World 2 died?

At the end of the episode, we discover Por, Tai's father saw them together and you don't need to be a genius to know he probably killed him. I guess, episode 7 will still be in the flashback.

I was also wrong when I thought this episode would be the beginning of the love story between Jao and Wayu. Also, when did Jao became interested in Kram? I thought he was more into Tai than Kram. It makes zero sense to me.

I guess Wayu will help Jao forget about his heartbreak since it was his advice (not sure it's a good one though).

I also want to add how Max and Nat are killing it every time they have to do an intimate scene. I thought they were already quite good in Naughty Babe, and it is the same here in 2 Worlds. They can really make you feel their characters are in love and enjoying each other a lot.

This series may not be the most talked right now, but I don't understand why because it's really a good one. There are some plot holes and things that seem weird, but overall it's compelling. Oh, and the music plays a pivotal role in setting the atmosphere. Watch it!

[space-blue]

Quaritch and recom Quaritch are not the same characters. I mean second is a clone with implanted memories so why always I read about this character all people write like both are the same? Recom Quaritch feels and acts because of memories from human Quaritch. For me it's weird because I hated a lot original Quaritch but when I watched Avatar 2 I was like nooo way I like his clone?. haha Just to add other point of view. Greetings, thank you!

Dear anon,

I'd like to preface this reply by saying I don't know how the fandom depicts him, really. I discuss him with friends in the recom-centric server, and I read their snippets and some of their fics, but I'm one of those writers who avoids reading the characters they write.

My brain is aggressively pantser oriented. If I read a story, if I even imagine it in full, then "it is told" and I lose interest in writing it. "Two cakes" only exists as a reader for me. I can't write the second take on a concept I've read. It feels like a chore. I also dislike reading a really smart idea about the character because I might feel like I can't implement it.

I like to give myself time to come up with my own strong vision of a character before I start reading them written by others. If I pick up a fic with them it'll usually be with a concept/style I'd never go for (that includes smut).

So yeah, I don't know how "the fandom" portrays him. I'll give you my two cents though, for free :

Quaritch and Recom Quaritch ARE the same person. By design. They share the same memories. I am totally writing a fic in which the memories are edited, but that's not hinted at in canon.

A clone with memories is meant to be the same, on day 1. He is designed to be the same. He's made in universe by the RDA to be the same, and by the Avatar team to be the same.

What makes recom Q interesting is that he starts diverging from that day 1 onward. Every experience he has is filtered through the qualia of a fundamentally alien body. Taste, smell, vision, hearing, touch, experience of pain, not to mention the sensory blast of having new limbs and organs!

And then new experiences a smart recom can't miss : potential discrimination, bottom of the company totem pole (a loss of privilege a white man with titles like Quaritch must feel keenly), the way they're turned into disposable guinea pigs from the 1st mission, the impossibility of going back home, the fact they're basically slaves, company owned bodies and endlessly duplicable minds...

They get time to think on all that. Does it affect them? Do they double down on their mission out of spite? Hope for a better future? A shot at freedom? Are they brain-dead killers looking to shoot things no matter what body they're in? (Looking at you Lyle..)

That's where the tasty lives. In that dichotomy between a human mind that makes them the same, and an alien body that makes them different. That's why recoms, Q and others, are so compelling. There's a ton of room for emotional angst, and a lot of directions to take character growth in as we patiently await.

I feel like different writers will make him go places at different paces, and that's fine. He hasn't changed that much over the course of the film. We don't know Avatar 1's Quaritch that well, so how much atwow changes Recom Q is really up to interpretation.

But I feel like this is just arguing on philosophy.

You, as an individual, are in constant flux, but you are also informed by your past. Do you believe in determinism? In fate? In Free Will? Because there's a whole branch of philosophy/neurology that makes a VERY compelling argument that we don't have free will. It doesn't help that science has proven that our brain often sends signals before we've made a conscious decision to act.

It's still a very hot topic, as we don't know where consciousness resides/how it works (the philosophy of mind teacher in Adelaide uni opened his class by saying if we were smart about it there was a nobel prize to be won lol)

What's compelling about Recoms is that even if you believe in the absence of free will you have to admit that the change in qualia by definition alters their character and takes them down new roads. But it's fine to me if writers think the mind inside the recom is still human and struggles to remain true to itself for a long time.

A Quaritch desperate for change is as tasty as a Quaritch who struggles to hang on to his past as a raison d'être.

He's a babygirl because he's cursed. He carries the "sins of the father" in the most literal manner possible. Not only in universe but IN FANDOM. People actively blame Recom Quaritch for what Human Quaritch did in A1, not realising they are not the same person, even if Recom Quaritch still feels like they are and can replay the whole scene in his mind.

It's FUCKED and I'm soooo here for it!

It's also why it's so different with recom Q. He's not the same visually, and he's got so many new layers added by his situation that you're face first in a blue cake.

[batsplat]

Kind of a weird question but I was wondering if you have ever watched the motogp documentary shows, I think there are two? I've never seen anyone talk about them before so I'm assuming they're not very good. I was just wondering what your thoughts are on them. Also, if you have watched them or if you haven't watched them I was wondering if there is a specific reason for that or just generally your thoughts on sports documentaries like these ones or the F1 one or the tennis one.

I really love reading all your posts on motogp and tennis, thank you so much for contributing so much to the community!

thank you, that's very kind!! and yeah, we've had one season of 'motogp unlimited' and two seasons of 'there can only be one'. (every single time I try and remember the name for the second one, my brain goes 'and then there were none' before remembering what the actual title is. very different vibe.) I have watched them, for which the main reason is... uh. curiosity, ig? I'm interested in how the sport presents itself, interested in what they're doing for fan engagement, even when I'm not necessarily the target audience. I actually got into f1 in a slightly dumb way because they'd announced a tennis version of drive to survive and I was curious what that'd look like, so me and my flatmate decided to watch drive to survive. then some of the actual races, and it just sort of spiralled from there

which is probably the only new fan of anything that tennis show created - don't bother checking it out. absolute drivel. I know about the issues with dts and I am obviously more aware of the inaccuracies by now, but the main sin of the tennis version is that they never figured out how to make the sport remotely compelling. they made a show called 'break point' without explaining what a break of serve is. the central narrative tension of a tennis match and they just squander it. dts obviously doesn't engage all that much with the sporting side of f1 - but it does very early on provide you with the concept of a pit stop, this moment of direct interaction between the team and the driver, how suddenly the fate of the driver is completely dependent on the team etc etc. it's such a simple thing but it's immediately engaging... I get that it's a fine balance to strike between focusing on the characters and giving information about the actual sport, but I cannot emphasise enough how easy the drama of the serve/return dynamic should be to get across. I had a similar rant about this with the challengers film earlier this year actually... and again, I am fully aware I'm not the target audience here, I just think that when the actual sport hands you such neatly packaged drama, just... take advantage of what's already there? idk. call me crazy

ignore the bits about the tennis threesome and it's basically the same issue. like I watched most of the matches featured in that series and they didn't even try to capture the stories of these matches!! this feels so basic come on I am begging someone to do this right. 'break point' basically tells me a player lost a set 2-6 and then won a set 6-4 because they tried really hard and believed in themselves. I promise promise promise you can make the actual SPORT more compelling than that. the rhythms of a tennis match are so well-defined and clearly laid out... it should not be so hard to tap into this

compared to that baseline, the motogp shows are... hm... well, they're better than the tennis one for sure. just more watchable. it has admittedly been ages and ages since I've watched motogp unlimited, and I do remember liking some bits. just in terms of like... behind the scenes drama we didn't see at the time. I enjoyed the vinales/yamaha drama, I've obviously professed my love for marc's psycho look at mir, I thought the marc sachsenring segment was pretty well done. I can't... actually massively remember anything else, which is probably an issue in itself. from memory, I feel like a lot of my issues with 'give people a reason to care about the sport' still hold with this one. which tbh really shouldn't be that hard to do with motogp, like they're racing motorcycles, it's inherently conceptually a cool thing to be doing. I'm not a massive fan of 'hitting the apex' - but even though I feel it's a bit too style-over-substance-y, that's exactly what unlimited could have used a bit more of. the opening few minutes of that film where it cuts between the little kid and the motorcycle racers figuring out how to take the fastest line around the circuit... not massively a fan of pitt's narration throughout the film but it works here, I also think the music is doing a lot of good work. the whole thing does just do the job

like it just makes you feel the sport. I feel there's sometimes a bit too much of a wariness of making these sport shows feature too much of the sport... but if you're trying to make the sport compelling, you will actually have to figure out how to show the sports bit in a compelling way. you're so terrified of losing the casual viewer you're losing sight of what you're making a documentary of - when the whole appeal of a good documentary is to lose yourself in a world you might only be passingly familiar with. HAP leans into this emotional element from the start because it's also just some guys wanking off to the concept of motorcycles going fast, but you do need a little bit of that! the final product is a bit too sentimental and self-congratulatory for my tastes, but again. you need that core of genuine affinity for the sport

I do actually agree with the documentary that the process of taking a corner is what I'd lead with when introducing the sport to the new viewer. the lean angle of the rider and motorcycle is the most immediately striking visual angle - it looks quite jarring if you're unfamiliar with the sport, like the physics shouldn't quite check out. motogp really likes its corners, you've got plenty of specific ones associated with specific historically specific moves - your assen final chicanes, last corner jerez and catalunya, laguna corkscrew, etc etc. the instinctive terror of braking into some of them... mugello's main straight and turn one are infamous for a reason. these are things that easily tap into the character of the sport, but are also easy enough to sprinkle in for the casual viewer. the corner is where most of the overtakes happen, it's moments of direct engagement between riders - which, again, is probably what you want to be focusing on out of the gates. how this has evolved over the years - the contrast between the sport two decades ago and now is so easy to spot even for the layperson, and in large part that's because of how much more excessively they lean now. again, this is just very basic stuff... but as a starting point, surely you've got to try and tap into some of this shit. this is what your first-time viewer will be thinking about anyway when they're watching bikes go around track, so tap into that and explain why it's even more exciting than they think. sometimes motogp also leans in a bit too much for my liking into the whole 'they're gladiators who have broken every bone of their bodies!!' angle... yes, it's an unavoidable reality of the sport, but it makes the whole thing feel quite grim and morose. it's not what I'd lead with, let's but it that way

I'm aware this ask was not asking me to give my thoughts on how I personally would make a motogp documentary series lol. but yeah, idk, motogp unlimited as I remember it was 'reasonably fine but also a bit dull'. if you're already a fan of the sport, it swings between interesting tidbits I'm glad we got to see and telling you a whole lot of things you already knew, without particularly engaging framing and trappings. if you're a newcomer of the sport... I'm not convinced this show sells you on why you should actually care. and, idk if this is a controversial opinion or not, but I personally prefer... ffs what was it called. there can only be one. well first off, change the title - this one's a mouthful and just feels quite generic and half-arsed, which I suppose is appropriate. idk if they're doing it again this year... I thought the second season was a clear step-up from the first so I kind of hope they do. I don't actually think this is 'good' in that I wouldn't really give this to a new viewer and I'm not entirely sure who the target audience was - but it was basically fine for what it was. a glorified highlights package with a few extra behind the scenes tidbits to get you hyped for the new season. I liked the process of whittling down and introducing new title contenders and then the thing of turning off the light when they leave the chair once they're out of contention. it just feels like something that's quite nice to have as a bit of a summary of the season. it's a bit more like what they used to do in the 2010s, where they often made a documentary of the title winner and just a bunch of interviews with them and their team chucked in. the best one of these imo is the very first one they did for jorge in 2010, which includes some lovely childhood jorge footage and that segment where him and his team made it obvious how pissed off they were at valentino's catalunya 2009 celebrations lol, stuff like that. just some nice little details for the narrative!! those provide a bit more insight than the quite surface-level show we have now but... y'know, I don't hate it. fine to accompany you washing the dishes

anyway, yeah. that's my thoughts on both of those. I'm not massively enamoured with any motogp documentaries, though I do appreciate how at least there are a fair few. from the ones that exist, my favourite one is probably marc's all in thingy - had plenty of issues with it, but of its subject at least the issues were sometimes revealing in and of themselves. mostly I do just think the best way to understand the sport is to... go and watch a lot of races. older ones too. which I get is more time-consuming, but quite frankly it does feel like a more rewarding process. sometimes you have to piece together the narratives yourself

[curseofpower]

I think the fact that Ganondorf has suffered so much is what makes him so compelling to me. Fiction is rife with villains who never suffer the consequences of their actions. Gan has had consequences out the wazoo. But he never stops fighting, because his spirit is truly unconquerable. On a related note (sorry, this thing doesn't seem to paragraph very well), I think that gloom is very different from malice. Consider the terminology: malice is the will to do harm, gloom is sorrow and depression.

That is certainly what drew me to him to begin with, as Wind Waker was what completely made me change my mind about him as a character. It took some time, but eventually I started to comprehend, I mean really comprehend the ending, all the things he says to you. Then watching him lose everything and mentally break for the last time before your very eyes.

I realized. He had been so determined, because this one goal was all he had left. He didnt even want the Triforce at the end, he wanted to be rid of it because he was tired. He wanted an ending to this fucked up story.

Then he watched the one thing that would have kept him going get taken from him and was left with nothing. Nothing to go back to and not a friend in the world, because this was not his world at all. He broke down completely for those reasons but also because it was just so predictable, so fucking like fate to do this to him, he couldn't help but see the irony even as his soul was shattered.

He didn't attack Link because he wanted to take these kids down with him (If he did then let's be honest, both link and tetra especially would have died) but he attacked Link because the kid had the one thing in the world that could kill him, and he was ready to use it. Ganon was never the type to just lay down and give up. To the very end, to his suicide, he went down fighting. It was what he wanted. A final wish, I guess, that was ultimately just to die.

I related with that and it hurt so deeply. It still does. I can still barely watch the ending, as much as I love seeing him in action. The ending just breaks me every time. Because for him and his people, everything truly is hopeless.

As for gloom and malice, I can see the discrepancy. They're parts of his strongest negative emotions. I find it kind of fascinating that the malice was the Subconscious (calamity) while the gloom happens when he's actually waking up. Rage and depression go hand in hand with him, really.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Favorite Movie/TV series and why?

I don't think I have one absolute favorite, so I'll mention a few.

Stardust (2007) - This film has the atmosphere and mood I was sort of hoping the SGE movie would have, and its plot has so many nice intersections, even if it's a fairly typical fantasy story. The Septimus subplot is one of my favorites because of where it takes the orchestral soundtrack.

Carrie Pilby (2016) - This film has a misanthropic protagonist with dry humor I find compelling. The novel is also worth reading.

Sherlock (2012) - I love watching Sherlock's character and how his verbal thoughts flit across the screen. He's fascinating, and practically every episode feels so compact and well-written. The show is also quite aesthetic.

Good Omens (2019) - The protagonists' dynamic in this show reminds me of Rhian and Rafal, but they're amazing characters in their own right! I love their duplicity and how they connive. I love how, again, the plot feels surreal, colorful, and dense—that's how "right" and fated it seems. It has some of the most satisfying payoffs ever, particularly in season 2, and only gets better (and more feverishly hyperactive) the further along you are. And, I love the strands of storyline from other eras all woven into the present-day plot.

The Politician (2019) - The protagonist is a sympathetic psychopath, a very interesting, morally-ambiguous character to follow. The plot also has that overlapping, "wait for all the shoes to drop" or unfettered, "cut all strings" payoff quality I love in media.

[t4llhum4n]

Wakey, wakey, eggs and Blake-y (I type at 6pm).

Seriously though, this guy is simultaneously the smartest and stupidest man to ever speak on Redacted's channel. And I want to talk about that.

Well, kind of.

Before I get into character motivations and all that, I wanted to point something out. This? This is how you write a static character and have them still be compelling. Dynamicism is appreciated in characters, sure, but to write a static character who isn't boring? So so cool.

When I go about theorizing for a specific character's future actions, I typically take into account what stage they're at in their development. For example, my thoughts on Hush and how I believe his future actions will play out are based on what stage of development I see Hush being at in that moment. With Blake? It's a whole different ballpark.

Blake's behavior is the constant in my theories about him. His nature hasn't changed at all throughout the course of his story, save for maybe becoming a little more desperate. Even then, that desperation is fueled by feelings that he's had since childhood. Normally, that would become stale in a character (at least in my opinion). Here, though? It's anything but.

Looking into why that is, I can only think that it's because of how his character is revealed to us. We get to see both sides of him, one from "Sunshine" and one from "Bestie." And because of this, we're waiting with bated breath for both worlds to collide. His duality isn't dynamic, but it's still so intriguing. From "Sunshine's" point of view, we're left wondering just how far he's willing to go and how violent he'll allow himself to get. Then, from "Bestie's" point of view, we see a softness that he holds (seemingly) solely for them, and we're waiting for "Bestie" to see his other, darker side.

It's not necessarily Blake as a person that's interesting to me. It's how he acts around others that really gets my character analysis-prone brain whirring. I'm not interested in seeing his growth, because from where I'm standing, it doesn't look like he's going to grow. He's rooted in his obsession with "Bestie," and that, in his own words, is the reason why he's doing all of this. And nothing, not even threats from a being far stronger than him, seems to be able to change that. When his first reaction to a line like, "Watching your lover's death will feel like a mercy in comparison," was a snide, "Charming friend you've got there," I knew any hope for change in this man was lost.

So, with that said, let's talk about the brains on this man. Does he have any? I mean, he must. He got an entire major branch of a multi-establishment political hate group under his thumb, and that doesn't happen on accident. Blake is an intelligent person, no doubt, but he's also (ironically) a very blind person. He doesn't see anything beyond his lover, and he's confident that he will change their fate.

I honestly can not fathom how deep his feelings for "Bestie" are. Call it selfish, but if I were in Blake's place, I would've given up trying to change my lover's fate a long time ago. Instead, I would've cherished and made the most of the time I had with them, until ultimately I had to let them go. Blake, though, is not having that.

This brings up a point of discussion that I really love looking into when it comes to Blake. "Does he want to save 'Bestie' for their sake, or his?" I'm not going to share my stance on that just yet (mostly because both sides make a very compelling argument idk where I stand), but the fact that there's so much to talk about with a character this unchanging is astounding. It's not every day you see a static character who has so much compelling mystery surrounding them. He doesn't grow or evolve, nor does he show signs of ever wanting to, and yet we're still enthralled by his journey.

And the way his obsession is written? It's so good. I don't believe that he was always obsessed with "Bestie." Did he always have a thing for them? Sure. But I really don't think it grew into an obsession until he saw their death, and then he saw that nothing he tried could save them. See, Blake isn't just obsessed with "Bestie." He's also obsessed with changing their fate. Which leaves even more potential for character analysis.

We know that he wants "Bestie" to live. That's the main motivator behind his desire to change a seemingly unchangeable fate. But.. what if there's something else there, too? Can you imagine besting death? Overcoming something that haunted you as a fixed point in a world with no such thing as "fixed points?" The power you would feel getting the better of something like that would be nigh unmatched, and we know that this motherfucker has a god complex.

Blake wants to save "Bestie" so that they can live longer. At the same time, I think part of it turned into a challenge for himself. He's testing himself because if he can pull this off, then he's unstoppable, at least in his eyes. And what he sees in his eyes is the only thing that matters to him.

Could I say more? Yes. Will I? In a future theory, yes. But for now, I'm leaving it here. I really love diving into Blake. Characters with insane amounts of hubris and a god complex to match are some of the most fun to dive into. I hope you enjoyed my little analysis-turned-rant! Writing these is always super fun :D

[unit-zero-two]

It's been a few months since I played through Traum. I meant to write a post about it as soon as I finished, but alas life got in the way. The short version is that I loved Traum and I'm going to talk about all the things I loved in it. It's not a perfect chapter. There's weaknesses to be found in some character stories and plot elements, but nothing that ruined the chapter for me. I think it'll be a much better look at the chapter through a positive lens than trying to ding it like I'm YouTube clickbait. There will be spoilers below the cut, but if you find yourself trudging through the chapter unexcited, I urge you to spoil yourself so that hopefully some excitement can be brought into your Traum experience.

Traum introduces an element that I've long been hoping for in the story and which I feel helps enhance our main cast. Kadoc. We've seen the moody boy before, but now he's out of his coma, resigned to working with Chaldea with a suicide Squad collar around his neck and completely unprepared for the wackiness that is Chaldea. Kadoc's inclusion helps highlight how much of a normal person the Protagonist is, even after everything we've gone through. We only survive because we hold on to our humanity. Kadoc is a man with a lot of humanity, but was raised in a society that told him to succeed he needed to kill that side of him. In a lot of ways he's a repeat of Goredolf while we were clearing Lostbelt 1. Mages who have kindness inside of them, but try to act like they don't. Kadoc knows what the proper way to do things is, but he's also not great at doing it. A lot of the fun of Traum is watching him stumble along and regain his humanity while hanging out with the protagonist. Kadoc and the Protag get to be each other's senpais, one in magecraft and the other in being a human. The protagonist has a much stronger voice and character in this chapter than in previous ones, and that is very much due to Kadoc as a foil and someone to bounce off of. Watching Kadoc grow from his loss in LB 1 and to regain hope in the world after dying, that's just so great.

Sherlock also comes with us, and this is the BEST he's ever been written. I've read every official Sherlock Holmes story, so you'd best believe I rolled for him as soon as possible in FGO. His writing has always been...rough... At times entertaining and compelling, at others frustrating. It's a hard balance to write Sherlock. He's the world's greatest detective, so he can't not figure out a situation or he's an idiot. But if he figures it out too soon, it gets frustrating as the writers have him act coy and not tell us important information, "just because". There was no point during Traum I felt this issue. Holmes was very forthcoming when he figured something out, and his mental battle with Moriarty created a good reason for why he was constantly feeling on the back foot and struggling to focus. His mental acuity and his humanity were on full display. Kadoc and Vlad were also huge helps in balancing out Holmes as they could bounce off of him with their specific specialties. The fact that Traum introduced a mystery with Sherlock that we never thought to question was such a good retcon and the reveal of his origin was heartbreaking. His final moments, his sprite beautifully drawn, his thoughts pensive as he remembered everyone who meant something to him. The satisfied smile he had on his lips as he went over that waterfall...the final bow of a character I'll miss greatly.

Moriarty as an antagonist allowed our protagonists, but especially Holmes and Kadoc, to shine. He thought he was ahead of everyone but constantly his manipulations failed He had no human connections, and could not comprehend others holding on to them. Constantly rejected, in the end he doesn't get what he wants, but he does find that he gets what he needs.

OH MY GOD I LOVE THE PALADINS SO MUCH. Like, holy crap (pun intended) are the Paladins all so good. It's self evident that Astolfo is the best Servant in Fate sorry Mordred, but that they go from goofy comedy to one of the most badass 1v1 fights between honorable warriors ever done in FGO is fantastic. Through their defeat of Tametomo, Astolfo elevates Tametomo as well, adding humanity to the man who claims he's a robot, but is actually just a proud warrior and a bit of a child. Astolfo's friendly banter in this helps to give nuance and introductions to all the other characters they interact with. Roland, Bradmante, and Charlie all feel like characters we've been with forever, and one of those characters is a Traum original. Roland's one gag is pretty funny, but he also manages to be a charismatic knight who has a pretty badass and sad sacrifice. That he and Astolfo just decide, "yeah, our king would approve of an imposter stealing his name" and help the charade tells us so much about Charlemagne before he even appears. An easy going king and knight, Charlemagne is just such a positive figure. He's smart enough to understand the dark sides of people, but he looks to the positive and the good. His is a radiance that is clearly visible even before he removes his cloak. His reveal isn't a powerful moment because it's a surprise, but because of what he's doing. Standing up for a knight who was willing to give his life in battle to live up to the name he stole and protect the one he loves...

...Which brings us to Don Quixote and Sancho. Holy shit these two had me in tears. Traum is a sequel to Atlantis is so many ways. Spiritually, Atlantis and Traum are about heroes making sacrifices and moving forward inch by inch to fight for and protect what you love. In Atlantis we heard of some Servants who fled from the might of the Gods. In Traum we meet one of these Servants, the combined Don Quixote and Sancho. A knight more famous than possibly any other in modern history. The lengths Sancho is willing to go to save her lord are awe inspiring, even as we know that he himself does not wish for any of this. But until that moment where he's facing down Constantine, hopelessly overpowered, Don Quixote just constantly gave in. But as he goes knight versus knight against an Emperor, as Sancho begs him to stop and his light is fading, through his actions he inspires Charlemagne to act. He moves a legend, and proves why he was the one who was worthy of running the realm in the King's name.

Constantine was introduced as our bespectacled ally previously, but now we get him in his full regal glory as one of the primary antagonists. He plays into several of the main themes of Traum, primarily: Existence in History and Love as Motivation. He existed, but he rebels because he finds it unfair that Pope Johanna does not. He fights for a sudden love, and in that regard he is placed in opposition of both Sancho who is willing to do anything for her Lord, and Kriemhild who wishes for nothing more than to make the pain of her love go away. He is not just defeated by a conceptual weakness, but by the love in his heart that meant there was no other path for him in that moment besides sacrifice for Johanna.

Pope Johanna, a woman who hates humanity for creating and then rejecting her existence. Traum plays around with what it means to be a Heroic Spirit and what it means to exist. Everyone in the Singularity is full of contradictions. The composed, compassionate Pope who leads the nation vs the angry woman who storms into a capital and challenges it's leaders to a fist fight. Johanna is both of those things. She's the woman famous for lovers who may not have existed, but when faced with Constantine's love, she only realizes what was there when it's gone. And with it she realizes her own mutual feelings that had grounded her the entire time. It's a tragedy and that she lasts until the end to bring her thoughts and feelings to fruition is a triumph.

Bradmante was fantastic as Johanna's gal pal. In opposition to the other knights and her king, we get to see how the Paladins operate by following their hearts. It does not matter if she's fighting her lord or friends, they understand and support her. And she brings that support back to Johanna. She may be our enemy, but she's never felt more like an honorable knight.

Salome...brought me to tears...Her story is short, a footnote early in Traum. Someone for who love in dangerous. She loves those who are exceptional, and in that love takes their lives. But the protagonist isn't exceptional. We're just a normal human in a land now only occupied by the exceptional. In a world of the exceptional, the mundane shines. And it is due to that normality that Salome is able to hold that love to completion for the first time, to not consume or be consumed by it's fires. We are not Jokanaan, we are not a saint, we are just a person who is kind. A person who cares, and is cared for. Salome resists her nature and instead of taking, she gives, and in giving she receives final moments of repose. Her love has not consumed her this time. A love that puts her in contrast with....

...Kriemhild. The Ruler of one of the three realms. The primary antagonist of Traum. The cruel dictator who sacrifices others quickly and callously on her path towards victory and her dream. Kriemhild is terrifying and effective the entire Singularity. She is driven by anger. But what is the source of this anger? The loss of her husband Siegfried? The revenge that consumed her and all she loved? The inability to change her own nature? Love. Love is the source of her anger. As it compels and empowers all the characters I've talked about above, from Kadoc all the way through Salome, no one else is moved by love more than Kriemhild. That's the main theme of Traum. When we find and free Siegfried and the two former lovers resign themselves to a final bloody confrontation it is clear only tragedy can come from this. We all know Siegfried from Apocrypha and Orleans. He is unyielding and unwavering in his determination. He will not change his ways. We know that and Kriemhild knows that. She counts on it. But in that final battle, as we fight against Kriemhild's rage, Siegfried does not beat her physically in battle or emotionally with his iron clad determination. He surrenders to his love. Kriemhild's rage melted and reshaped the metal heart of the legendary hero Siegfried. A dream long overdue, that she had given up on ever experiencing, happens in this moment. Siegfried chooses her over everything else. Kriemhild wins. He apologizes for his actions and he changes sides. Kriemhild's lover fights and dies by her side. Her will outlasted Siegfried's, and as a Servant she got what she'd long deserved in life. Kriemhild gets her wish. The scene was such a reversal of everything we knew about Siegfried and it's beautiful. In the end, love wins.

Traum is a triumphant story of heroes and of love. It is a tale of those whose names made history, and those who will never be known to us. Traum is a step towards a new era in FGO, where secrets are revealed, old allies are lost and new allies are gained. Traum is still not my favorite chapter, but I enjoyed and loved it from beginning to end.

[vera-deville]

"Curiosity Killed the Cat"

02/03/2023 - 02/06/2023

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 2,375

Warnings: ANGST; there's a lot of death here; character death; reader death; let me know if there's more.

Gender: AFAB

Alternate Universe: College AU

Notes: Okay, so lowkey, never thought that I'd ever write angst in my life because I don't even like reading it, but this just happened, okay-

So, basically, I came across a video in YouTube where it asked people, if they wrote a book where the first and last sentences would be the same, but they had completely different meanings, what would it be? Well, the people in the comments section went the ANGSTY route, and like GOD DAMN THEY WERE WILDLY SAD-

But weirdly enough, I felt compelled to write my own version. Except, instead of just writing the sentences, I wanted (and ended up making) an entire one-shot fanfic (so this isn't a request).

I had no idea what sentence I was going to make, or which character I was going to write for, or what fandom I'd write for, or really, anything. But that didn't stop me, because pretty soon enough, I'd decided to write for Shinsou from Boku no Hero Academia, and use an idiom I really like - "curiosity killed the cat."

Now, with the idiom, I ended up adding my own little spin on the way the rest of the idiom goes. It's supposed to go "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back." Mine went a little differently (which you'll soon see).

In which the Reader has to through a horrible experience like no other.

"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

It was the same every time. The same words. The same little boy. The same little rockets. The same little happiness.

So why did it have to be like this every time?

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Shinsou remembered the first time he met Y/N.

It was at the playground back in school. All the other kids had their own little groups to play in, and as usual, Shinsou wasn't a part of any of them. Standing oddly off to the side, his childish heart yearned for companionship.

But he knew better than to try and involve himself in one of those groups. The last time ended badly enough. So, with a mind set on not interacting and a heart dismal, Shinsou sat down next to the sandbox and drew shapes in the sand with his fingers. The other children avoided him like the plague (nothing new about that), but it was noticeable to the young purple-haired child that he was gradually becoming used to it.

Shinsou was in the middle of adding legs to his rocket sand art when he heard a rather shrill voice.

"Hey you!" Shinsou flinched.

Slowly turning to the voice, Shinsou readied himself for the rather harsh words children were capable of, though it almost felt like a chore to even bother.

"What are you drawing?" Asked the shrill voice. Shinsou frowned at the source of the voice – a girl around the same age as him (obviously, they were in the same class) wearing a frock and headband that suited her petite frame nicely. She looked put-together. Unlike him with his baggy clothing.

"A rocket." Muttered the young boy. With her hands on her hips, and her brows furrowed, the young girl marched up next to the boy and judged the rocket as an art critic would. Shinsou awkwardly shuffled his feet around the area of sand untouched as he awaited the conversation's continuation (which would without a doubt be terrible).

"That's not how you draw a rocket." The little girl said firmly. Shinsou was slightly pissed. Who the hell was this girl who up and out of nowhere charged over to him, asked to see his sand art, and then judge it the way she did? But before he could get another word in, the girl sat down next to him, careful to not get her dress dirty, and started drawing her own version of a rocket next to his. With some amount of fascination (but still mainly annoyance), the little boy watched the girl draw the strangest looking rocket he'd ever seen.

Before he could stop himself, he muttered, "That's a really weird rocket." Stunned, the girl looked at him, and then chuckled. Without any warning, she suddenly bolted into the classroom, with the teachers telling her to slow down or else she'd hurt herself (she did not listen). Shinsou stared in the direction the new girl left in, before eventually turning back to the (now) two rockets in the sandbox.

Shinsou looked at both the rockets back and forth. His looked like a rocket. But so did hers. Even though it was odd. His looked like the rockets he saw in that one cartoon his mother would put at home. Hers looked...well, he didn't know what it looked like. It looked like there was a tiny airplane attached to the rocket (which looked like a stick). Why was there an airplane on the rocket? And if that wasn't confusing enough, there were two more sticks next to the main stick (which Shinsou could tell was the rocket).

The little girl furiously flipped through the pages of a few different books, determined to find a picture of a rocket to teach the boy what an actual rocket looked like (definitely not the childish one he'd drawn). Fairly soon enough, she found what she was looking for, and rushed right back outside with an even greater speed than when she rushed off to find the picture.

Just as Shinsou was about to erase the rockets to start drawing something else, a familiar shrill voice screamed, "THIS IS WHAT A REAL ROCKET LOOKS LIKE!" Confused, and not to mention slightly embarrassed by the looks he received from the kids around him, he wondered if the girl had something called tact. Clearly not as she was running towards him like a buffalo with the most crazed look he'd ever seen on a person's face.

The little girl sat down once again next to Shinsou, ever careful to not dirty her frock, and pointed at a picture that looked much like what she had drawn earlier. Shinsou was fascinated by the girl's ramblings about rockets and wondered where on Earth she'd learnt about such things.

Before he could stop himself, Shinsou asked the girl, "Why are you talking and being nice to me?"

Confused, the girl looked at him and retaliated his question with a question of her own, "Why shouldn't I?"

Shinsou pondered her words. Why shouldn't she talk to him? Why shouldn't she be friends with him? Oh right. Because eventually she'd find him to be a freak just like everyone else. So, in an attempt to sound cool and broody, he said "I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

Shinsou thought to himself that this girl who randomly popped up (somewhat literally) out of nowhere was a little weird. No scratch that. She was very weird. Typically, kids took one look at him and decided that they wanted nothing to do with him. Not this kid though. She was definitely weird.

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Y/N panted and gasped.

Her chest felt like it was on fire.

Her mind felt foggy and light.

She was late once again. And right when she said that she wouldn't be late. Shinsou would no doubt lecture her about punctuality. Ugh, screw her mind (and her severe lack of ability to run while she's at it) for getting carried away in a matter of seconds because her muscles can't keep up-

Running across one more street and crossing a corner, Y/N was finally in the home stretch of her destination – the café she and her best friend had agreed to meet up at.

And there, right in front of her eyes was the familiar mop of mesmeric purple hair she'd grown to love over the years. The figure who sported the hair had already sat down at a table for two, no doubt having saved a seat for her. He had earplugs in his ears, probably listening to music. He looked peaceful. And completely unaware of the girl planning on jumping him.

"OH MY GOD-" screamed the purple-haired man. "Y/N!"

"Hey~" Teased Y/N as she finally let Shinsou out of her deadly grasp and ruffled his hair before sitting down opposite to him.

"For fuck's sake, can't you ever greet people like a sane person?"

"But where's the fun in that? Besides, I'd never give up on a chance to sneak up on you."

Playfully pouting, Shinsou stated, "You're 9 minutes and 40 seconds (and counting) late." Sheepishly grinning, Y/N was about to explain her excuse when Shinsou said, "Let me guess, you just thought of a blueprint and got carried away with designing it and forgot about when you were supposed to leave the house?"

Y/N blinked. Curse this man who'd stolen her heart and continued to know her like the back of his hand.

Shinsou chuckled at his best friend's silence, and switched the topic. "So, how's Aeronautical Engineering coming along for our future rocket scientist?" Y/N's face morphed into one of extreme joy and immediately began her ramblings about how her university days were progressing. While the woman rambled, Shinsou couldn't help but think to himself about how pretty she looked, and how she'd barely changed since he'd first met her. Still obsessed with rockets and seemingly never running out of things to say about them. He didn't understand some of the terms she used, but he could care less. His mind was too focused on the ethereal goddess in front of him.

Somewhere along her ramblings (and after ordering a couple drinks), Y/N noticed the blissful face on Shinsou's visage and suddenly felt a little consciously aware of how she'd been talking this entire time and she'd not even once asked him how his degree was coming along. Abruptly quitting her thought process for the moment, she questioned Shinsou about how his Bachelor of Fine Arts was coming along.

A little surprised over the sudden change of topic, Shinsou composed himself quickly so that Y/N wouldn't catch him all day-dreamy over her. He explained that so far, his music composition had been great, and music performance was fairly easy as usual, but music theory did require a little more effort from his side (not that he didn't put his all into his studies, but rather they came fairly easy to him).

He talked about how his best bud Denki Kaminari who studied Sound Technology was getting more popular with his YouTube channel. Y/N was happy to hear about it since she wished the best for Kaminari (though he was closer with Shinsou than her).

The two payed for their bill and walked side by side, with plans to head to the nearby mall, with Y/N still drinking her beverage. They exchanged whatever they wanted to exchange with each other (including shenanigans from their respective friend groups).

As the two neared the main street, they stopped and clicked on the call button and waited for the countdown to indicate that they can walk so that they could cross the road and get to the mall. Once it did, the two looked both ways before starting to cross the street.

And that was when a truck blaring its horn frantically crashed into the two of them.

The whole world was spinning and ringing incessantly, and Y/N couldn't tell what was what. But she remembered Shinsou so clearly and tried to move to see him, but she couldn't. She could hear screams and the frantic voiced of many people around her. What they were saying however, managed to evade her comprehension.

Slowly, her eyes shut and she could feel herself drifting away.

The feeling was nauseatingly intrusive.

Y/N tried to lightly open her eyes, and barely registered a room so unnecessarily bright and people in green (or was it blue) with masks on their faces crowding around her. But as quickly as she opened her eyes, they begged her to shut, and her mind slowly slipped away.

God, she knew what was coming. And she wasn't ready for it at all. She needed to see him one last time. 

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"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

Y/N found herself back on that fateful day, in the same frock she wore, with the same hairband and everything. And with the same purple-haired boy in front of her. And the rockets drawn in the sand. They looked exactly as they did before.

What on Earth was happening? Was she dreaming? But this felt too real. Far too real to be a dream.

She noticed the little boy looking at her oddly, and she noticed that she wasn't saying anything and that her face had been scrunched up into a frown for who knows how long.

Immediately changing her facial expression, she decided to think about it later once she was home. Which she did. And for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what was happening. Her life was repeating. Almost the exact same way it did before (minus her own actions). It was rather horrifying. The last thing she knew, she'd been hit by a vehicle, and now she's a kid all over again.

For the first few weeks, Y/N tried to come to terms with her new situation whilst trying not to seem odd to anyone lest they realize that she isn't the same. Eventually, months later, Y/N had in fact completely come to terms with this reincarnation of hers. She still had no idea how or why this happened, but all she knew is that she had another chance at life, and more importantly, with Shinsou (who was alive and well).

And so the years went by, with Y/N obsessed with isekai manwhas (Shinsou never understanding the obsession, but found it cute and interesting that she was as obsessed with them as she was with her rockets) and her trying to keep Shinsou safe, away from harm.

However, it turned for naught as one day, she received a call from her mother who broke down and told her that Shinsou's mother had called earlier in absolute tears about how Shinsou had been on his way home on his bicycle, and had slipped and fallen into a canal and drowned. Apparently it had rained earlier and his bicycle had needed repairs, but before he could have the chance to have his bicycle fixed, he'd died.

Again.

And the strangest bit was when Y/N lied down on her bed after sobbing into her mother's arms, feeling her eyes begging to close and she could feel herself drifting away.

The feeling nauseatingly familiar. 

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"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

Y/N felt like crying, but sucked it in the best she could and tried to seem as normal as she could to Shinsou.

This was the second time this was happening. The third time she'd live this life. And she'd already failed the first two times. Miserably so.

And just like that, multiple lifetimes went by, with certain revelations occurring, but the feeling of helplessness never going away. Y/N eventually determined after dying multiple times that her lifeline was somehow connected to Shinsou's and she'd die soon after he did. And what's worse, he would always die an early death. Meaning that she followed soon after. And then the cycle would repeat.

Again.

And again.

And again. 

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"I've heard that curiosity killed the cat."

"But fate brought it back!"

It was the same every time. The same words. The same little boy. The same little rockets. The same little happiness.

It never ended.

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