#I have not had a fandom reduce me to tears so much in YEARS

[hellsingmongrel]

Goddamn, Trigun Fam, you guys are just determined to fuckin’ kill me with these reincarnation AU fics, aren’t you???  I literally cannot start reading one without devolving into a blubbering mess before things have even started, how do you guys always do it???  I’m going to turn into a fuckin’ mummy if I keep crying this hard!

[ruinofchimera]

Hi, I'd like to know your opinion. Why do you think Peter betrayed the Marauders and blamed Sirius?

By the way, I hope you are very well.

Thank you for the perfect cue. Time to roll up my sleeves and dissect the bane of the Harry Potter fandom: Peter Pettigrew.

Why did he betray the Marauders? I like the phrasing. Because behind it, the real question to ponder is lurking. Did Peter ever betray his friends, or did he just betray the Marauders, the twisted idea of inclusion that he never really had? Oh, don’t get me wrong—there’s no denying that James and Sirius were practically the poster boys for friendship. No argument there. We’ve all heard that tear-jerking speech from Sirius: “I’d rather die than betray my friends.” And fair enough; Sirius had every reason to be an emotional wreck—he was talking about James, the only person he ever truly gave a damn about. Sure, we don’t know everything about their golden years, but what we do know makes it painfully clear: James and Sirius? They were a two-man act, a bond so tight it was as if they shared the same heartbeat.

But where on earth did this idea come from that someone else—anyone else—was ever part of that special bond? The books paint a pretty stark picture if you care to look. There was the alpha pair leading the charge, while the other two trailed behind, playing supporting roles. Look at how they chose Pettigrew to be Secret Keeper in the first place—not because they thought he was capable or smart, but because they figured no one would suspect him. Translation: “We don’t think you’re much good for anything, Peter, but hell, no one else does either, so maybe that’ll save our skins.” And yet somehow, fans cling to this rose-colored myth of brotherhood. Four souls, brought together by some unshakable bond of loyalty. Let’ get real here. There’s a very good chance that Peter didn’t even see James and the gang as friends. He was just along for the ride, hanging around like a dodgy uncle at a family reunion.

People love to reduce Peter’s Animagus form to a symbol of cowardice and betrayal, but they miss the real significance of what a rat actually represents—survival. And at his core, that’s exactly what Peter is—a survivor. Strip away all the noise, the grand ideals, and lofty heroics that everyone around him seemed so fond of, and what you’ve got left in Peter is raw instinct. He wasn’t guided by some deep-seated belief or conviction. No grand moral compass pulled him one way or another. He’s the embodiment of the quintessential “baby boy” trope—the “please take care of me” type. (Sorry, Regulus, but the Chalamet fancast isn’t enough to hold the title. Hand over the badge.)

What Peter craved more than anything was protection. It didn’t matter whether it came from James Potter or the Dark Lord himself. The man just wanted someone bigger, stronger, meaner to pat him on the head.

Pettigrew was already used to playing second fiddle to James and Sirius, who were so full of themselves they practically had their own gravitational pull. So when Voldemort strutted onto the scene, another powerful, arrogant tosser demanding followers, was it really such a massive shift for Peter? Hardly. It wasn’t life-changing. It was just a change of scenery. He did what he was best at: finding the biggest bully on the block and pledging his allegiance to survive. Sirius and James had been grooming him for it for years without even knowing.

It’s easy work, bashing Peter. Man’s got a face like a rodent and a spine to match—hardly the makings of a tragic anti-hero, is he? Sorry, Peter, but “pretty privilege” isn’t swooping in to save you like it did for Slytherin Skittles. If Pettigrew had even a hint of good looks, we’d have a library of fanworks trying to paint his redemption. But with a face like that? Not a chance. Instead, we get a convenient scapegoat for the fandom to rally against, letting the poster boys soak up all the angst. The sacred friendship betrayed! A tale for the ages, and people can boo-fucking-hoo about it for eternity.

As you can see from my lengthy ramblings, I’m doing just fine—so no worries in this department.

[samwinchestermydude]

My Supernatural Journey I guess

I actually did go into spn fully expecting to ship Destiel. I came into SPN after watching Merlin, and I had often seen Merthur (my beloved) and Destiel likened together. I barely knew anything about Sam. I only found out that Sam existed because I saw that he was being shipped with his brother on the Ao3 ships polls last year. I didn't know if Sam was important or not because I hadn't seen much content about him. So I ended up calling him the hippie brother mentally.

The only things I thought I knew about Supernatural was that it had some religious stuff in it, Destiel was canon apparently, there were demons and stuff, and John really hated. My impression on Spn was this horror show that was featured this really tough macho dudes but the show was supposedly kind of gay??

I also followed this one person way back for discussing this one video game. They were an ex-supernatural fan way back but left because they found discourse surrounding destiel to be to exhausting. They also used to be a big Sam fan and shipped wincest. I like found the latter to be like really weird back then but man the tides have turned.

So I turned on the Spn pilot with my mom in the same room one day out of sheer boredom. Back then I was still considering Spn as that tumblr show. And then the rest was history, and I lost countless hours of my life obsessing over the show.

So first of all, I only saw one brief glance at Sam before voting for merthur in the wincest vs merthur poll (I'd have probably voted for wincest now lol) so I didn't really know who he was. To me initially he just looked like the 2nd big, gruff dude with long hair. And then I found out that the sweetest looking boy with the floppiest bangs was that guy, Sam.

Also I thought Dean was the younger brother for some reason before watching the show (Probably because Jackles just doesn't age lol). So I was really surprised to see that the little kid in the opening scene was Dean and that the baby was Sam. Oh and I was totally predicting that John died actually in the opening scene and that something else was pretending to be their father lol.

I think I fell in love with the show right away. There was just something really believable and palpable about the brother's estrangement and relationship from the start and I just wanted to see how it developed. S1 is just filled with great horror episodes, and I started watching around October so it was just perfect timing.

So Things that Ended Up Suprising Me the Most/Other Things

I actually ended up really liking John in s1. JDM was just stellar in his all scenes and brought an emotional and sincere side to John. He's tough for sure but he doesn't hide his feelings about his boys. Like you can see the tears in his eyes when they reunite. Also his speech about how he wants Sam and Dean to have normal lives and how he's tired and so broken up after seeing all his friends being killed by meg never fails to hit hard. Do I think John was a good father. No. But he did care about his boys truly. And while I do understand Fandom's widespread dislike of John it is disheartening to see him reduced to this unfeeling caricature. John's problem wasn't that he felt too little; it was that he felt to much and he never really properly managed it and it ended up hurting the his boys.

I thought Meg and Sam would maybe end up being a thing and was like :(((( (because I just liked the bros being by themselves even though I wasn't a wincest shipper at the time lol) but I was also like go Sam if thats what you want ig? Lmao Idk I just wanted Sam to be happy even back then. Anyways thank god that never happened.

Me falling in love with Sam.

Dean. I always saw a lot about him but never found myself to interested in him as all I saw was Destiel content with him. But I ended up falling in love with his character so hard in Devil's trap. When he begs John not to kill him :(((((((((. I think Devil's trap is one of my favorite episodes for Dean. It's when I started to understand him and his loyalty to his family really touched me.

1x22 was also the episode that convinced me SPN was going to be a insane show. Like what a season finale. I feel so bad for the fans who had to wait to watch s2. I actually jumped up and said it ends like that?! The car scared me so bad.

Around s2 I set my foot in the wincest fandom. Back then I thought you guys were scary but in a good way. But I was also getting really into the codependency at the time so I found myself starting to seek wincest out because well you guys just get it. And then Dean sold his soul for Sam and I looked up wincest fic for the first time with the intent to read fic about wincest. Before it was reading wincest fic despite the wincest and then well all hell blew loose (sorry I just had to).

First wincest fic I read: half the man i used to be by dollylux. I wasn't exactly a wincest shipper then. But I thought it was fucked up and strangely fitting to Sam and Dean's relationship and fucked up lives. It was probably the fic that got me into wincest.

I had a bit of an internal rule I set for myself back then where I could only read Wincest fics that were about them being in a fucked and toxic relationship because I felt bad reading fics about an incest ship. So I guess in my mind it cancelled out because then I thought then I wasn't romanticizing the incest lol. Idgaf now. I read anything about Sam/Dean if it's good.

When You're Not Here by raziella was the 2nd wincest fic I read. I read it because it's pretty much gen but it does have some wincest leanings. It's a really good fic.

I gave up Destiel even before s4. It was around in S3 after seeing Sam slowly go insane that I realized I wanted nothing more than the two brothers together.

I just realized that even if Destiel was canon or not nothing could be as important to Dean than Sam was and vice versa for Sam.

I actually was anxious about s4 because I didn't want the show to change that much and drift from the focus on the brothers.

S4 and s5 were really difficult to go through for me. I thought they were great television but it was too painful. I felt horrible seeing what happened to the brothers and how they drifted apart.

S4 Sam hair was probably my favorite.

[lighthouseas]

hi all! i know that i haven’t posted for a while, but since the end of the year is fast approaching, i thought i’d make a post detailing my appreciation for my lovely mutuals . (if you saw this post earlier because tumblr was being a bitch, no you didn’t <3333)

anyway, without further ado- and in no particular order-

bee’s end-of-the-year MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST!!!

@hazmatazz - OHHH MAN. SILLY GUY ALERT. starting off strong with the lovely the amazing the fantabulous HAZ HAZMATAZZ. haz, being your friend and fellow Silly Squad member has been such an honor. you’re so funny and sweet and smart and make the best posts that make me giggle. and even though i don’t talk in it much, seeing so many Shenanigans go down in the discord server is seriously the funniest thing. I could just. squish you. you make me so happy and it’s an honor to be your friend. seriously hope 2024 treats you amazingly bc you deserve all of it <3333

@cannibalismyuri - SARA!!!! sara my lovely ohhh you are. the funniest. seriously. i have been reduced to Tears of laughter from posts on your blog. you have such an energy about you that is completely unmatched. even with Fandom Weirdness and the like, you’ve still pulled through and kept being your silliest self (and let me be silly with you which is awesome), and i commend you for that. aaaand not to get sappy or whatever but i really do look up to and admire you. you inspire me a lot. also, i love your new url. i want to eat it. pun intended. HAVE THE BEST 2024 EVER <3333

@qulizalfos - LIZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. everyone listen up okay. liza is the loml IF ANYONE EVEN CARESSS. liza oh my god i adore you and your endless enthusiasm. seriously your comments on tsad are comments that i look back on when i need motivation because they’re just. so sweet. you are so sweet. we’ve only been mutuals since this SUMMER and yet it feels like we’ve known each other forever. i love screaming about things with you and i love the fact that my FIC is in your BIO??? HELLOOOO??? also okay. can we talk about your writing and art. liza i cannot say ENOUGH how talented you are. if i could staple your fics and art to the entire st fandom’s forehead so they would have to look at it forever then i would. your brain is so ginormous and the way you describe things and think about things is something i could only dream of doing. literally adore everything about you and wish i could hang out with you and wayli so we could all be a little insane together <33333 love you. LOVE YOUUUU I hope 2024 is awesomesauce for you <33333333

@wayward-sherlock - SPEAKING of wayli. oh wayli. if i had time to write a 10 page essay detailing how much of an impact you have had on me i would. seriously though you are just the sweetest, kindest, and most positive person ever. seeing you blow up my notes makes me grin So Hard because like oh man. wayli likes my blog. THEEE wayli thinks i’m cool. wtfff….anyway. you are so smart and it shows in your literally breathtaking writing and analysis (ANALYSIS FIRM!!!) you’re so perceptive and it honestly blows me away. reading your writing is so mesmerizing and just. sends me on an adventure. actually just scrolling through your BLOG sends me on an adventure because you always have the best stuff on there. honestly, I just wanna give you the biggest hug and tell you how awesome you are because rambling in a tumblr post simply is not enough. all’s that to say, i’m really looking forward to this coming year that will hopefully include more screaming about fanfiction in our discord messages and more of us being friends. because i love being your friend and it’d be so awesome if one day we could hang out together and be a tad Insane. doopel dopple gang STICKS TOGETHER AMIRITE?? anyway. i love you so much and wish you all the best in 2024 <333333

@antibyler - spencer HIII i know it’s been a minute since we last talked but can i just say that it has been an HONOR being your mutual this year. you’re so cool and fun and easy to talk to and also are a Fellow NHIE Fan which makes you even cooler. don’t think i’ve ever seen a bad opinion on your blog, which i know is saying a lot but it’s true To Me okay. seriously could never ever imagine Not following spencer basiltonpitch antibyler because like. that’s some essential dash content right there. THEEE blog to ever. makes the tumblr experience about 2034549650 times better. hope 2024 treats you wonderfully, my triple b mutual WOO <3

@versa-vices - FINNIEEEE!!!!!! you are my sunshine my special sunshine you make me happyyyyyyyy when skies are grayyyy….like actually though you are such a sunshine. seeing your comments on my posts never fails to make me giggle. a Silly Squad member that’s for sure. but like. being your tumblr bestie this past year has been so much fun. hanging out on the dash together and being Slightly Unhinged in the discord messages has been one of the highlights of my year. you’re so sweet and lovely and i don’t think it would be tumblr without you (those 10 minutes where you deactivated were HARD man okay. what am i supposed to do without u :(() okay anyhoo. thank you for being the bestest ever and hope 2024 treats you well <333

@light-lanterne - angel hiii! it’s been a bit since we’ve interacted but i needed to talk about how kind and patient you’ve been throughout literally everything because tumblr can be a little much sometimes. your kindness and determination to make so many beautiful graphics is absolutely incredible. i still look back on the graphics you’ve made for my fics sometimes, and it’s just…amazing. you’re so talented both in your art and your writing. when times got tough in the Fandom, i could always count on your blog to be a cozy and warm retreat from the craziness. it’s an honor to be your mutual, and i hope 2024 treats you kindly, because you seriously deserve it <33

@booksandpaperss - ELLI HIII!! holy shit one of my oldest mutuals. here when the ancient scrolls were written. elli , you have made my fandom experience so much more enjoyable. what with your huge brain and amazing takes, you always keep things real and i admire that about you. you’re also just. so easy to talk to. both because you’re ridiculously funny and also because you’re so nice to me like what. i love Discussing things with you, especially when it felt like we were sitting in a corner sipping tea and having a grand old time while the entire fandom went batshit. uscore fr. also, your comments on tsad…dude…they made me and STILL make me tear up. you read everything with such an attentive eye and then give the sweetest compliments on it. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. you’re just. so awesome okay. never forget that. hope u have a wonderful 2024 <3333

@karenchildress - hi jo!!!!!!!!!! i know we don’t interact as much but like. you’re such a joy to see on the dash i’m being so fr right now. how are you so funny like some of your posts still make me laugh to this day. you also keep things Real which i appreciate a lot, people tend not to do that nowadays T-T. we need more jo karenchildresses in the st fandom i think. things would improve marginally. anyway. keep being cool and fun and hope 2024 brings you much joy <3

@homohabu - oh man you’re just. you’re so nice. your blog is so inviting and has the loveliest colors all over it that make me very happy. you’ve always been so lovely to me and it makes me smile. you’re also another one of my oldest mutuals…and you’ve still stuck around through everything. thank you for having an awesome blog and being an awesome person! hope 2024 is good for you!!!!!!!!

@kuntniss - sierra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hiiiii it’s been a minute but can i just say that your blog makes me so so so super happy whenever i look at it. both your reblogs and original posts are just. great vibes. great vibes all around. you’ve been so nice to me this past year and it’s seriously been so wonderful interacting with you and looking forward to seeing your posts. being your mutual is so fun. i hope 2024 brings you so many good things, you deserve all of them <33333333

@weirdo09  - cade! i know you haven’t been online in a while but i just wanted to say that you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me this past year. you’re so creative and i loved hearing your ideas in my inbox and getting tagged in your wonderful. i hope you’re doing okay now, because you were honestly such a joy to see on the dash and in my notes. also, your ever changing themes were always a nice surprise to come across when i opened your blog, lol. hope 2024 treats you well :)

@holyvirgilscriptures - virgil !!!! oh my god i adore your blog so badddd like. i could seriously scroll through it forever it’s just banger after banger after banger. you always have the best takes on like. Everything. also FELLOW TAWOG BROTHER IN ARMS HELLOOOO !!!! BEST TASTE IN MEDIA AWARD GOES TO YOU MY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. you have made this year so so so enjoyable just with the Existence of your blog. this coming year i hope we can interact a bit more because you’re super awesome <333 may 2024 bring you many good things! 

@ollsonline - oliver <3333 my lovely. since we became mutuals you have been nothing but the sweetest, kindest, friendliest person to me. you’re so welcoming to everyone and it absolutely warms my heart. you’ve been such an amazing friend to me this year and we should totally talk more because you’re super cool and awesome also!!! thank you for being the best and i hope 2024 treats you kindly <3

okay that’s all i’ve got! to any mutuals i did not get to mention: i love you so much. you have made The Tumblr Experience that much more bearable with your endless kindness. i love all of you so much, and am wishing you a happy new year through the screen! MWAH!!!!!!!

[jadedbirch]

Born To Fly:

Review, Thinky Thoughts, and Other Nonsense

This is a very good year for Wang Yibo, and by extension for me, because my son's success fills me with much joy. I admit though, I was less than thrilled to go watch a movie about test pilots for him. But love conquers all, and so I went!

Spoiler-free review

Going into this with admittedly low expectations, I must say I was very pleasantly surprised both by how engaging and entertaining the movie was and by how little propaganda there was in it, considering it's essentially a movie about glorifying the Chinese Air Force. Yes, the "enemy combatants" were unintentionally hilarious caricatures, but they were a very tiny part of the plot. The central drama was predominantly internal to Lei Yu (Yibo's character) - at the end of the day it's a film about his personal growth journey. It's also, a surprising amount, about his relationship with his "rival" pilot Deng Fang (played by a very handsome Yosh Yu) and his military daddy, Commander Zhang Ting (played by the delightfully avuncular Hu Jun). There is high drama and high stakes, tears and heart break, and a good amount of homoerotic tension between men in uniform who are forced to train in close quarters. I, for one, will not complain. If anything, the one downside was not enough shirtless scenes in the barracks.

As always, Yibo had fantastic chemistry with his male costars, and like subterranean levels of chemistry (low, very low) with the requisite female love interest (but this isn't about her - she's incredibly unimportant). The Yeekies and the Yose looked spectacular, and we got to see more epidermis than we've seen since he had to take his shirt off for The Untamed. Because he wears a tank top. We live off crumbs, my friends. It is saying a lot that he didn't get upstaged by the cool planes because the flight scenes were pretty fantastic (and also a bit nauseating). There are some stunning cinematic shots in this film and Yibo and the scenery both look great.

Thinky-thoughts

This is just going to be a random list of thoughts that don't belong in a review, but I still wanted to share.

They clearly went out of their way to make Yibo's skin look more "rugged" for this movie, but he's still a babie and also the prettiest 🥺

Spoilery! But for a movie that makes a big deal about how every life is precious, they don't seem to spend very much time and effort to ensure that they reduce loss of life for their test pilots, especially after major (and surely very expensive) mishaps? Still, I guess we have to balance out the verisimilitude with the drama.

I learned that "enemy combatants" might be assholes, but birds are the real enemy. If you know, you know.

Still pretty ticked off that Yibo flipped over in that vehicle while making this movie. Seems like maybe that's something they'd like to avoid in the future because in a country of a billion citizens, he's irreplaceable.

Other Nonsense

Okay, if you know me, you know I can't leave here without talking about the ENEMIES TO LOVERS TROPE! 🥰🥰🥰 Yes, it was a million times more gay in Top Gun, but this is China, and the dudes still manage to have more physical contact than Lei Yu had with the girl "love interest." This is all to say, I expect some hot pilot on pilot fanfics. Looking at all of you, fandom!

[aristocratic-otter]

Woohoo, I'm down to five WIPs again! (Ok, at least two are waiting in the wings. But I officially haven't started writing those yet, so they don't count.) It's late, but I haven't posted in forever, so I'm determined to do that today.

It's been a long time since I posted, and so much glorious work has gone up in that time. Friends, your talent humbles me, and at the same time makes me so proud of the brilliancy of this fandom. Thank you to @cutestkilla, @palimpsessed, @blackberrysummerblog, @nightimedreamersghost, @fatalfangirl, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @shemakesmeforget, @artsyunderstudy

Snippets and tags under the cut

From: To Heal a Broken Mind (House AU):

“I regret…I regret so many things. But, most of all, I regret pushing you away. Making you think I hated you. Making you feel less.”

He looks surprised. “Making me think you hated me? You didn’t hate me?”

I shake my head. “I never did. I just…there were so many outside influences in my life, people I desperately wanted to please or impress, and being friendly with Mage’s chosen one would have made those people very unhappy. I’m sorry. I should have made my own decisions about how to act. But I was young, and stupid.”

“We both were, Baz,” Simon says, and he reaches out a hand and lays it over mine. It’s warm and soft. It’s clearly been years since he used it in the kind of manual labour and exercise that used to make his skin hard and calloused. I stare at it. “I was a prat to you, too. I gave as good as I got, honestly. We were both immature brats. I stopped blaming you for that years ago, Baz.”

“I—” I clear my throat, trying to pull back the tears that burn my eyes at his forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. But I’ll take it. I try again. “I want to try again, Snow. Try to be friends, I mean. If you’re willing to give me another chance.”

Simon smiles broadly, and this time there’s no hint of sadness in his face. “I’d love to, Baz.”

If my heart wants to hear those words as “I love you, Baz,” I’ll never tell. 

From: Raising Dragons

I’m desperate enough that I’ve even asked Shepard Bunce for advice. He was the least comforting of all. “I don’t know too many hybrids,” he told me. “And they were all creature/normal hybrids, not creature/mage hybrids. But I do know that the creature powers and instincts were reduced in the hybrid offspring. Like the Jersey devil’s two kids can only make folk anxious with their screams, not out-of-their-mind-with-terror like the screams of their monster parent.”

From: Double Your Pleasure (EGF 2023, posting next week)

Suddenly, I need to see his beautiful eyes. “Baz…” I whisper.

His long, thick black eyelashes quiver, and his pale pink tongue peeks out of his mouth long enough to glide wetly over his lips. Slowly, so slowly, he tilts his head towards me and, when he’s finally facing me, his eyes flicker open. They’re misty with pleasure and so dilated I can only see a ring of pewter around the black irises, but I feel my heart settle into a more contented rhythm once I can see them. 

“I love you,” I whisper.

From: Westward Son (COTTA 2021)

Penelope’s alive and that’s the most important thing, I tell myself as we make the last few short crossings, from island to island and island to shore. I don’t tell Simon that. I know he’d agree with me, but he loved those animals. He’d given them all names and he’d cared for them and babied their every hurt. His face has been drenched with tears on top of river water ever since he realized.

From: Saving Simon Snow

Simon

Two days ago, I was certain I’d be dead of deliberate starvation by now. Two hours ago, I was certain that Baz’s plan had no chance of working, that he’d doomed himself along with me.

Now? I’m certain of nothing. 

I just know that Baz’s life rests on me convincing him to go through with this. I know he hates me. I know that being married to me is probably revolting to him. But I noticed what Baz apparently did not. I am magically cursed to not be able to be unfaithful to him. Baz is not under any compulsion at all. 

Even if I’ll never be happy, even if Baz is forced to keep me hanging around, a perpetual roommate, he can still find love in someone else’s arms. 

From: A secret project, gift fic for members of the discord valentine's exchange (will be posted on AO3 once everyone has gotten their valentines:

“Whoa,” Simon breathes. “D’you think it was real dragons? And are they still there?”

“Not likely,” I answer him. “This city has been settled for far too long for any dragon to be comfortable near it, I think. But they may have been here in the distant past. It was in this region where St. George reputedly slew a dragon. Though those old Christian priests were infamous exaggerators. Probably George fought a crocodile or a monitor lizard.”

Tagging for Wednesday, or just passing along a belated happy Valentine's day to you all, everyone above as well as

@annabellelux, @bazzybelle, @basiltonbutliketheherb, @bookish-bogwitch, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @dragoneggos, @excalisbury, @fight-surrender, @fatalfangirl, @facewithoutheart, @giishu, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @johnwgrey, @jbrrring, @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists, @krisrix, @larkral, @letraspal, @messofthejess, @moodandmist, @martsonmars, @mostlymaudlin, @nightimedreamersghost, @onepintobean, @prettylightsbigcity, @raenestee, @theearlgreymage, @technetiumai, @tea-brigade, @whogaveyoupermission, @whatevertheweather, @yellobb-old, @yeonjunenby

[ladylilithprime]

In Sickness

Series: Fluffy Faerie Tales

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Sastimmy/Jamstiel (Jimmy Novak/Sam Winchester/Castiel)

Rating: General to Teen and Up

Tags/Warnings: Half-Fae Sam Winchester, Jimmy and Castiel Are Twins, Sam Winchester Is Jack Kline's Adopted Father, Brief Allusions to Canon-Typical Violence, Sickfic, Castiel Hates Being Sick, Sam Has A Magical Twin

Summary: Living in a magically integrated community had its perks. Unfortunately, immunity from illness was not one of them. Luckily, Cas's half-faerie boyfriend is willing to come stay with him and Jimmy to help take care of him, which leads to a few unexpected revelations about Sam... like the fact that he technically has his own magical twin.

For: @fluffyfebruary challenge!

Prompt: Day 20: Partners

Read on AO3

LIVING IN A magically integrated area had several benefits. The security systems for businesses and homes were backed up by magical wards and some particularly powerful locals whom nobody with any sense wanted to risk making angry. The beaches were protected and patrolled by selkies and merfolk who didn't mind saving the occasional human tourist so long as they didn't litter or try to run off with somebody's pelt. The weather tended to stay reasonably decent unless it was unavoidable, and there was plenty of warning before anything major hit the town.

Unfortunately, being in a magically integrated area couldn't do too much about the spread of diseases. It wasn't just human illnesses, either. Dragons, selkies, dwarves, and merfolk all had their own particular infirmities, seasonal and otherwise. In fact, it was more likely that various illnesses could run the risk of crossing the species barrier, leaving people who might have otherwise been perfectly fine suffering some magically mutated malady.

"It's the flu," Sam sighed as he gently adjusted the blanket covering his boyfriend's legs. "Nothing magical or strange about it aside from you somehow catching the variant we all didn't get vaccinated for."

"Are you sure?" Cas pressed around the congestion in his sinuses. He hated how much he sounded like a whiny child, dismayed at how being ill could reduce him to this even after so many years.

"I'm quite sure," Sam said, handing Cas a tissue. "Dr Argall didn't find anything unusual in her tests, and Adam assured us that the sample we sent came back positive for just influenza."

Adam had actually laughed at them when they had called with the request until a sneezing and tearful Cas had choked out his worries about Sam or Jack catching something horribly mutated that their human blood would make them vulnerable to from having been in him. He hadn't apologized for laughing, but he had at least taken Cas's concern and their request a bit more seriously. That his testing had come back negative for unknown pathogens had helped settle Cas's mind... at the time.

"Don' wanna get you sick," he muttered, blowing his nose obediently. "Y'got th'cafe an' Jack... don' wan' Jack t'get sick...."

"And that's why Jack is staying with Donna and Amelia and Matt for the weekend," Sam reminded him patiently. "He'll probably have a hand-drawn get well soon card all ready for me to bring to you after work tomorrow."

"'M missi'g work," Cas grumbled, scowling at the blanket and decidedly not pouting.

"Jimmy's got the baking covered for now, even though we both know you're better at it," Sam said, unperturbed. "And I have it on good authority that your boss approved your sick leave and wants you to rest and recover at your own pace." He paused, and Cas could hear the smile in his voice when he added, "Consider this proper exchange for when you took care of me after the alicorns."

And it really was that easy for Sam, Cas knew. As a faerie of the Summer Court, Sam tended to calculate the balance of debt on a longer time scale than immediate transactions while being very humanly coy about the exact balance. Or maybe that was a faerie thing, too. Cas knew that Jimmy had asked Mary about it and she had been only moderately helpful in explaining, something about Sam being "more human in his heart, but more faerie in his nature" that didn't make a whole lot of sense at the time.

Thinking about it just brought up another nagging feeling of unbalanced debt. "S'rry..."

"For what?" Sam asked, sounding genuinely bewildered.

Cas shrunk down into the couch nest. "Dean..."

Silence, and then Sam let out a long, heavy sigh. "Dean is responsible for his own behavior and, therefore, the consequences of that behavior. His choices are in no way your fault or responsibility." Another moment of silence, and then Sam settled down into the nest against Cas's side. "Honestly, I was sort of expecting him to take things badly. Not to the degree he did, that was an unpleasant surprise, but Dean has never reacted well to someone other than him taking care of me when I'm hurt. Bad enough for him when it was just my twin."

"Twin?" Cas nearly jolted upright, only to collapse back from dizziness. Cool hands gently pressed him back down into the cushions, faintly callused fingers stroking back his hair, and he blearily looked up towards Sam's face.

"It's not the same as you and Jimmy," Sam said gently, his eyes lowered to stare pensively at the blanket to give Cas the space to study his expression. "We aren't in separate bodies having wholly separate experiences. Calling him my twin is just sort of more accurate to faerie standards than calling him an alter or split personality. Emotionally speaking, he's much younger than I am, and he tends to prefer to sleep much more than I do."

"Will you tell us about him?" That was Jimmy, either drawn from the kitchen by Cas's exclamation or simply bringing the bowl of soup he held at the right time. The soup was handed to Cas, and Jimmy took up a position on the other side from Sam where Cas could reach his hand if he needed. "If he's a part of you, then we'd like to know... and if any humans out there can understand magically created twins...."

"Point," Sam chuckled softly. "Alright. You both know I was in the military back in the faerie realms. When I was about eight hundred and sixty years old, there was a skirmish near the borderlands and a rift opened up. I kept my unit as safe as possible, but the rift was into a Hell dimension and several of us were dragged through before it sealed.

"That's when my twin was born, in the fires of that hell dimension," he murmured. Cas exchanged a glance with Jimmy, then reached out and took their boyfriend's hand gently. Sam smiled softly and stroked over Cas's hand with his thumb. "He spent more time awake there than I did, fighting off the demons that threatened our people, killed a number of them... lost all but two of my people when we finally rushed their high command and my twin, uh, basically took over rulership." He ducked his head a bit sheepishly. "So technically speaking I'm King of Hell, albeit more like my twin and I are jointly a king of a hell. Crowley, I think you met him in passing a few times? He's essentially our regent. Dean doesn't know exactly how long I was there, because of the way time worked differently between the various dimensions, and the two survivors, my twin, and I all agreed that he didn't need to know. When his forces busted through, we had all visibly aged, but perks of faerie genetics meant he couldn't tell how much. He assumed it was a hundred and fifty years, and none of us corrected him."

"But it was much longer?" Jimmy asked.

"Upwards of five hundred that I'm aware of," Sam admitted with a wince. "Probably longer. There are chunks of time missing from my memory where my twin was in control and had me buried deeper down to protect me. He was in control when Dean busted through, and... well, the fact that my twin exists at all made him furious, because he's proof that Dean wasn't there to protect me. So he sleeps and only really comes out when I'm in mortal peril. Because I'm less quick to attack than he is, more likely to defend or negotiate than simply... execute."

Silence descended once more as Cas and Jimmy processed this information, broken by Cas needing to blow his nose again. It did somewhat explain Dean's blow-up, even though it didn't excuse it. And it also explained the weirdly irreverent deference Crowley showed Sam whenever he dropped by with the monthly supplies of--

"Tha's why th'cafe gets such a good deal on th'hellfire roast coffee beans and other demonic byproducts?" Cas asked.

"Sure is," Sam nodded. "Yearly tithe, but because of the time difference Crowley brings it by once a month by our reckoning. I have similar deals with other realms to get certain ingredients at a discount."

"Useful," Jimmy hummed. He exchanged another glance with Cas. "Is there a way to tell the two of you apart when you, er...?"

"Swap?" Sam supplied. He shrugged. "I mean, we use different glamour sets due to our different personalities and respective responsibilities... my twin took to the whole 'ruler of a hell dimension' role and tailored his glamour accordingly. Yellow glowing eyes, gold-tipped black horns, black warding marks, claws, articulated bat wings for the intimidation factor...."

"That sounds seriously badass," Jimmy breathed as Cas nodded. Sam's cheeks turned pink, and Cas wondered if he was actually blushing or if he was altering his glamour to make it look like he was. Jimmy must have been thinking something similar, because he said, "I have more questions about how your glamours work if you don't mind explaining sometime, but we wouldn't be opposed to meeting your twin if he wakes up while you're with us."

"Surprised he didn' wake up with th'alicorns," Cas mumbled, blowing his nose again and screwing up the tissue to toss at the trash can.

"Oh, he did," Sam admitted with a grimace. "I asked him to stay back because... well, you two were already having a rough night without adding my semi-demonic and bad-tempered twin into the mix. We might want to have a more controlled and deliberate first meeting if you really want to."

"He's your partner in ruling your hell dimension," Jimmy pointed out with a shrug. "We're your romantic partners. It seems like a good idea that we all know each other."

"But not until I'm not sick," Cas said, sniffling even as he winked. "Don' wanna be mistaken for a threat to your health."

[my-gf-is-kazuichi-soda]

Hey no hate, you realize that you’re literally in love with your own version of Kazuichi right? Literally no one in this entire world thinks of Kazuichi the same way as you.

Heeheehee, yes! Ngl my ego is having a feast with that last sentence.

You've unlocked an essay! Have fun reading lol.

Honestly though, I do think of my Kazuichi as an extension of the og Kazuichi, but like, in a different timeline. Not an entirely different personality, even if it seems like that because I draw fanart of her at different points in time without much of an explanation.

I've been thinking about that rule of fandoms post I reblogged earlier. I feel like I only barely scratched the surface of a thought with my tags, but I only had a few minutes left in my break at work. Also, wasn't sure how personal I wanted to get on someone else's post.

At what point does fan-written character development end and "an entirely new character, completely different from the original" begin? Even characters in canon, written differently in some way, can be considered "not canon" by fans. Take "modern-day" Simpsons for example; there was one segment from a "recent" episode (honestly, I don't remember how long ago I heard this statement, so "recent" could mean anywhere from the past 10 years) where Bart genuinely asks "what's the 90s?" This made a lot of people angry, because Bart Simpson was a staple of the 1990s that embodied the vibes of that era, so hearing him say this felt like a far cry from his old self. This Bart is technically "canon," but a lot of people would argue that this is Not Bart Simpson.

Another example is Steven Universe Future. I did not like that epilogue season. I liked the 12-to-14 year old Steven's optimism, and it felt like they strayed so far from his character to have this kindhearted, loving character become so selfish and bitter and, there's no way to explain it without spoilers but he commits an act so heinous that I honestly felt like they took his blind rage too far just for shock value and sacrificed the entire character for it. But, some things just don't reach everybody. What I saw as "That's Not Steven", some people were able to enjoy and get a cathartic story of someone healing from trauma (I wish I felt the same about that show). For me, it was painful to watch, and I only finished the season to end my anxiety about it, seeing him get worse and nothing get better at the end of each episode was bringing me to tears ("Then how can you play Danganronpa if you're so sensitive?" you might ask? I have different expectations and standards for an edgy murder game for teenagers than I would for a kids' cartoon. I'm less shocked when violent acts happen in Danganronpa or Family Guy than I was at Steven Universe Future). Anyway I would consider this version of Steven Universe's character "not canon," and I cringe when people bring up his character in Steven Universe Future as canon, despite that, yeah, it's canon. It's canon but I hate that it's canon.

Anyway, I have a point here, and it is that what is considered strict canon to some may be considered more loosely by others. And fandoms are where we should be free to explore ideas that the writers cant do, whether it's because it doesn't fit the themes, or it isn't "marketable," or it's because the canon writers wouldn't come up with it, or just simply because you wanted to see it and no one can stop you. I understand some people have ideas about characters you'd want to keep the same, I do too! I hate when people reduce Kazuichi to just "fuckboy who flirts with Sonia and parties all the time and is really dumb" (tell me you fell for Kazuichi's act without telling me you fell for Kazuichi's act) or "sad pathetic meow meow" (like, aside from the "blorbo" language, this feels like one part of Kazuichi that gets misunderstood as the entirety of Kazuichi. Kazuichi can be pretty badass.)

Fandoms have been getting more picky and hostile lately (I'm realizing I have too, so I'm working on that), and I think we could all benefit from letting go of some of our stricter ideas about "sticking to canon" and being more easy-going about people writing a character differently than you would, especially because it's fanon. Because we're doing this on our own volition and not for a paycheck. Because kids writing for the first time shouldn't feel like quitting if they can't make the characters "on-model" or "in-character."

Also, Danganronpa at times is kind of poorly written and sexist, so why should I have to stress over adhering to the standards set by those writers and then carried on by teens in the fandom (who might be looking at it uncritically, not that I blame them they're still learning) when I can set some standards of my own?

The "canon" version of Kazuichi, according to the spinoff games I never played, is that she's forever doomed by the narrative to spend at least three years after graduation still pining over the same damn character who has repeatedly shown no interest. Also, doomed to keep the same appearance that she canonically doesn't like (and everyone else also looks exactly the same as their child selves). Like, this is the same character who changed her appearance in middle school because she was sick of being taken advantage of by people who didn't give a rats ass about her. There were other reasons too, but I feel like nobody talks about this one in particular: she wanted to change, so she did. So why does she need to keep the same appearance after that, when she's older and the stakes are lower and she's gone through so much and gotten some development in the second game's end? The meta reasons are so that Spike Chunsoft doesn't have to pay someone to update the sprite model, because Kazuichi is recognizable (marketable) in her canon look, and because it's easier to leave everything the same.

Personally, I wouldn't mind if Kazuichi wanted to keep the same appearance, that's what attracted me to her in the first place. But she herself isn't happy with it (evidence: the last FTE). I just filled in some blanks in the story in my own way, because there's a lot of ways to interpret her character and they don't have to fit in with whatever canon says is the way. I don't 100% trust Hajime's word, Chunsoft's word, or what other fans have to say. I'll listen to it, though, but yeah I am going with my own interpretation.

Don't worry, when I say "Kazuichi is a girl because I said so" I do mean my Kazuichi (and whoever else wants to make Kazuichi a girl, which, go for it!). I don't mean "I'll fight you on it if you think differently." My ideas for Kaz are just one possibility for her, there's tons of others and they're valid whether I personally care for them or not. I don't mind boy Kazuichi at all! I just...I love girls...so she is a girl. In my heart. On another level, I was tired of boy characters getting the cooler designs that don't have a boob focus, so when I saw her I was like "that one has to be a girl! I'm claiming her right now. And probably also a lesbian, just because!" And then I ended up adoring her, because she's so adhd/autistic and I relate a lot to her struggles in socializing and making friends. I hate when people say she's "not emotionally mature enough for friendships/relationships" (that's such a mean statement! I've heard it before about myself. It hurts to hear. ;-; It sounds very victim-blamey.) Yeah, her social problems from autism/adhd definitely play a large role in her problems in making and keeping friends, but another large reason she struggles is because other people don't get her, and that's not her fault. She tries, she tries way harder than I did when I was a teenager to make everyone like her, and it doesn't work, because other people can be shallow assholes who see a "weird kid" and just don't care. I'm not saying that's everybody who doesn't want to be friends with her, Kazuichi can also be mean and push people away and also can be bad at reading the room, but her struggle to make friends is not all everyone else's fault just like it's not all her fault. Some people just have too much neurodivergent swag or uncanny valley for others to get us. So we need to find each other.

Anyway, wow I guess I really needed to talk. It frustrates me that so much of my story is only in my head right now. I want to actually show the progression of Kazuichi's character (so that her character progression looks less like "I just pulled this out of my ass" and more like "I swear guys, I'm actually going somewhere with this! It'll make sense later!") and my s/i's character progression too (in the fanfic we grow alongside each other and because of each other), but it takes time to write a story when I'm also learning the work-life balance. This was my first year having a "real job" and of living alone, I basically get home after the 8 hours of busywork and then get to drawing Kazuichi and watching cartoons and playing video games. Trying to be really patient with myself.

[molotoph]

I don’t know or care about you like that. I don’t care about pro or anti shipping. I don’t give a shit about fandom discourse, I care about teenagers being shown this shit by adults. It’s amazing to me you’re trying to reduce a genuine concern you still have not engaged with at all to fandom drama that is “tearing us apart.” I’m not particularly torn up about my ability to notice the literal words as stated in canonical text and what they mean, it doesn’t tear me up to know a romantic relationship between a character that’s 14-16 and a character that’s 26-35 being shown to kids is wrong, I was that kid, I fell for that shit, and I was not remotely unique in that aspect.

I have no idea what the other “problematic ships” or whatever you’ve mentioned, and I don’t care to learn what they are either. It is deeply strange and concerning that this was something adults made, when what their fandom of primarily kids asked for was a relationship between two kids. The amount adults got involved in and invested in the relationship between two cartoon teenagers is already kind of weird, and it is not any of those kids’ fault or responsibility that the adults who said they were curating a space for kids to be kids in decided to make a filler episode have disgusting and openly stated canon realities. Marco doesn’t look like an adult, so it’s more palatable? Harder to clock? Harder to acknowledge? They said it verbally. Eden Sher said that line with her adult self.

Also, with twilight, the depiction is of an all but impossible age gap: Bella’s 16-18, and Edward’s 107. How many teenage girls did you know or hear about that had 107 year old boyfriends?

But Star is 14-16, and Marco is 26-35. How many teenage girls did you know or hear about who had boyfriends in their 20s and 30s? I was related to one. I knew several. I heard of hundreds, thousands. I’m 27, my body could look like a 15 year old’s again, and I would still be 27. I have experienced 27 years of human time and life experiences, I have the power of having lived nearly 3 decades. A child does not have that. They cannot. That’s not how children work. A child can THINK they have that, the most experience they’ve ever had being a human is only as long as they’ve been alive.

I don’t need to bring up that people use “pro- and anti-shipper” to dogwhistle downplaying predation and abuse because y’all do it for me. I couldn’t give two fucks if Starco were canon if it were between two kids. Before I found out the svtfoe crew did THIS, I didn’t pay much attention to it aside from thinking both characters as individuals has a lot more potential story wise. I’m not really invested in any ships between minors, let the kids have fun, let them live, let them be “problematic” because THEY DON’T KNOW. I wasn’t doing predator apologism by not understanding what was wrong with a 14 year old dating a 20 something adult when I was 14 because I had no concept of what it was like to be older than 14. What Daron Nescafé and the whole crew, and Disney (not their first rodeo) did and showed to children within media framed around empowering young girls is deplorable. It could be any two characters with that age gap in any show and it would be deplorable. It is normal for children to have romantic and sexual feelings and fantasies about adults. It is NOT NORMAL for adults to normalize these feelings being reciprocated by or initiated by adults as anything positive, ever.

This show’s my special interest, I’m trapped here, but I would have this opinion in any context. I was responding to your dislike of a ship with my addition not to “start fandom drama” with you or “force you to hate something.” I shouldn’t have to force you to hate predatory relationships being depicted as desirable for children uncritically in media targeted towards children. That should be a given.

The baseline of harm to children isn’t people like Lily Orchard. It doesn’t start at the most extreme cases and it doesn’t stay there.

The adult thing to do is not to ignore this and say “uwu it made me kinda squicky uncomfy bad vibes sad baby time when the teenage girl cartoon shipped the teenage protagonist with the adult protagonist with a teenage appearance, but I’m gonna live and let live!” I don’t care about you or any adult that would make this kind of thing about fAnDoM like that.

The adult thing to do is not to bury my head in the sand in favor of keeping peace with people who want to make facts on a page about ship discourse. The safety of children is not about fandom and it’s not about you. Even if I thought the ship was so heinous it kept me up all night every night since 2015, if kids liked it, it would not be my fucking business as an adult to bother them about it. The adult thing to do is to attempt at any and all times to keep children safe whether I like their opinions on things they think or not.

Please don’t come into my kitchen and serve me nothing again. If you want this to be about how you’re one of the good shippers, have it. I can’t stop you. But stay away from minors with this attitude.

A romantic relationship between a child and an adult isn’t a notp, it’s abuse. If proship people must die on the hill of endorsing uncritical depictions of abuse despite what anybody including any survivors say, if y’all must claim you’re in some sort of special vacuum of fiction where you’re incapable of causing any harm ever whether you intend to or not, sure. Go for it. When people don’t respect it, and your only response is “shut uppp that’s not even what I meant, you’re making things up, you’re just immature, let me not process it,” and people don’t respect that either, so what? If it bothers you, I can’t do shit about it for you.

As someone who doesn't care for Star and Marco or Starco at all, it speaks volumes to me that the fanbase and critics still treat the shipping problem like that was the main problem with Star vs the Forces of Evil.

It wasn't. SVTFOE's biggest problem will always be that it's finale was WAAAAAAAY to rushed, not which horny teenaged characters decided they were dating now in their status quo. You can tell it was rushed because even the romantic subplot seen in the end was butchered.

[daylight-imagines]

we said no one else (Cassian x Reader)

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses

Warning(s): there’ so much angst. like there’s not even an ounce of happy until the very end

Word Count:   1328

Summary: It’s your birthday and Cassian isn’t there. That wouldn’t be so bad it if he wasn’t with someone else.

what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?

You laid in bed waiting. Hours had gone by, and you had still hoped he would come. It shouldn’t have bothered you so much. Most fae didn’t celebrate birthdays. It seemed unimportant when you had an eternity of them, but it was something your family had enjoyed. Your parents had seen each year as a celebration no matter how many had passed.

Cassian had loved it and had been at every party your parents threw since you got together. That's what made it so noticeable that he wasn’t there. For an hour you were able to rationalize it but after three it was obvious something was wrong. Throughout the night you assured your family and friends everything was fine even though you could barely breathe. You kept your face neutral even with the looks your mother kept sending you. You gave simple answers to questions about Cassian’s whereabouts determined to get through the night.

As all the guests were leaving, your mother finally got you alone. The look on her face was more serious than you’d seen in a long time.

“Do not accept less than you deserve,” she whispered. “No matter who is giving it.”

You’d nodded even as tears stung your eyes. It was something they had instilled in you since you were small. When you had needed to remember it, you’d forgotten. It was a reminder you were going to need to get through the rest of the night. To deal with Cassian.

You knew where he was. There was no point in denying it any longer. For weeks it had been obvious. He was with her. It was obvious there was something between them. You’d thought it was a simple flirtation that would be gone as fast as it’d come. Of course, that hadn’t happened. The assumption that the years you had spent together was worth more had been wrong. You'd loved him for a century and thought you’d love him for the rest of your life.

A century you’d been at his side. A century of love and trust and dedication. And in one night it was reduced to nothing. 

It truly hit you when everyone left, and your apartment was empty. You undressed and bathed then changed into your night clothes before slipping into bed. The silence seemed to press into you. Your chest felt like there was a whole that had previously been filled. You didn’t allow tears to fall. He’d been chipping away pieces of you for weeks now. He wouldn’t get that one. Not yet.

The door opened and somehow your heart constricted even more. You heard his footsteps slowly move through the apartment until he reached the bedroom. He walked into the room, and you waited to see what he’d do. You didn't move, letting him think you were asleep. How much more would he break you? You heard him let out a sigh and move further into the room. 

His scent filled the room. It was one you could pick out of any room. It used to be the greatest comfort in the world. But now it was different. Now there was another's mixed with it. Now, it made your stomach turn.

The other side of the bed sunk beneath his weight, and you could take it any longer. 

“Are you really planning on laying in this bed with me?”

“I’m sorry I missed your party.”

The party? The fucking party. That’s what he thought you were concerned about? The twisting in your stomach made it hard to think- to figure out what to say to him. Sitting up you placed your feet on the ground breathing deep. Your back was to him, so you didn’t know what his face looked like, if he was even looking at you.

“Are you sorry you’ve been fucking another woman?”

A sharp intake of breath sounded from behind you, but he didn’t speak. Anger flared in your gut, but you still didn’t move from your spot.

“Why not just end things with me? I wouldn’t have held it against you. We could have parted as friends. Instead, you ruined everything we ever had. If you wanted her, why did you not just end things?”

“I didn’t know if I-” he stopped himself. 

“You didn’t know what?”

Again he went silent and you couldn't take it. Shooting to your feet you finally turned to face him. 

“One hundred years, Cassian. I’ve loved you for one hundred years. I deserve the truth.”

His face was hesitant-guarded. It made you want to curl in on yourself, but you stayed standing tall. You kept your eyes locked on his. He would look you in the eyes while he said this.

“I thought I would stop wanting her. After-” 

“You thought you’d fuck her a few times just to get rid of the urge and then crawl into bed with me? You’d act like nothing happened and we’d go back to normal?” 

His shoulders slumped and he nodded.

“Obviously you’ve known that urge wasn’t going to go away. So how long were you going to keep it going?”

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

A scoff left your mouth. “And you thought humiliating me wouldn’t hurt me? That knowing you were with another woman wouldn’t hurt me?”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

You were silent for a moment before asking, “Does she know about me?”

He sighed and looked down. 

“So it was just me you were ok with making a fool of?”

“Y/n-” He reached toward you, but you shook your head and took a step back.

“I want you to leave,” you said even as it felt like your heart was being ripped apart. “I don’t want to see you again. I don’t want to talk to you. Leave now and don’t come back. I’ll pack your things, and Mor can come get them.”

“I’m sorry,” he said before walking out of the room. The moment the front door closed, your legs gave out. Sobs that had been building ripped from your chest as your knees hit the floor.

~Later~

The bar you were sitting in was shit. It had no redeeming qualities besides how strong the drinks were. You’d lost track of how long you’d been sitting there and how many drinks you’d had. It didn’t really matter. Some self pittying was allowed after the many you loved slept with someone else.

“What are you doing here alone?”

You drew in a deep breath and turned to look at the male behind you. Hazel eyes watched you with concern as he took you in. Your gaze hardened and you turned back to your drink.

“Why isn’t Cassian with you?”

“Oh trust me Cassian doesn’t care where I'm at.”

“What does that mean?” He had a small smile on his face as he watched you glare at your empty glass. 

“Surely you knew he was fucking her?”

A strangled sound left his mouth, and you couldn’t help but look up. A laugh escaped your mouth at the look on his face.

“Or maybe you didn’t.”

He sat next to you as you brought your glass to your lips. You scowled at the reminder that it was empty and he chuckled. The shiver that went down your spine at the sound definitely showed you’d had too much to drink

“Well it’s done now so it doesn't matter.”

“It does matter.” The anger in his voice shocked you. “Fucking idiot.”

You shifted on your seat and a wave of dizziness came over you. If Azriel hadn't steadied you, you would have ended up on the floor. 

“I think I need to go home, but I don't know if I can stand.”

Azriel put an arm around your waist and helped you stand. You took a step but stumbled again before he caught you.

“I’ve got you,” he said as he swung you into his arms. 

You let out a mumbled oh wow that made him laugh as he carried you out of the bar.

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[dis-astre]

hi to the new people in the les mis fandom joining bc of joseph quinn, it is lovely to have u all with us and u are more than welcome, however u should know that bbc enjolras (and the whole bbc adaptation) is nowhere close to the original character and everything he represent.

while joseph quinn did a really good job at acting enjolras, the way the writers wrote his character was bad and out of character. obviously, and it's normal, an adaptation will always have its own interpretation of a character, and that's what's make fiction so great. but i think u need to be aware of the fact that it's not a good representation of what enjolras' character is and what his character has been representing for over 150 years (i could go into details and maybe will but it's late and i'm working early tomorrow).

i also wanted to say, as a reminder that, while it's completely fine to simp for enjolras (no one is immune to him, whether he's played by aaron tveit, joseph quinn or anyone else) and find him hot (because he IS hot or because he's played by joseph quinn, again, i get it; i don't find moustachjolras hot but damn that man is find irl), u need to be aware that enjolras is a queer character. it's stated multiple times that he has no interest in women, never has and never will. his character has been an important representation for the queer community, him being compared to a lot of gay historical figures (and i'm not going to start with the enjoltaire); but also for the aromantic and asexual community and trans community. his character is very likely to be aroace; and victor hugo describe him as being very androgynous looking, looking like a young woman. and while i don't want to talk on behalf of the trans community, i've seen a lot of post and fanfictions headcanoning him as trans, and i think it's very important to have that kind of representation in such an important piece of classical literature.

so please, be aware that the y/n fanfic and nswf y/n fanfic with female character x enjolras can be really disturbing, especially for people who have been in the fandom for a long time and are really looking up to his character and kinning him. don't just reduce him to hot-man-u-wanna-do-the-dirty-with when his character carries so much importance and has for decades. and i promise, caring about a character's whole essence and personality doesn't make them any less interesting or hot (quite the contrary actually).

also, let's not forget how we collectively hated on the casting choice when it first came out and i find it a bit odd to suddenly change our mind just bc it's the same actor who plays eddie munson. i personally think we were right to complain, bc it WAS a bad casting choice considering all the physical description of enjolras we had (and yes, in les mis, his physical appearance matters of lot).

we are not trying to gatekeep our fandom. on the contrary, i think it's really pretty fucking cool to have new people finding an interest in a 160yo book ! and for me, u guys are more than welcome to join our sad silly little fandom. but we just want u to be aware of all of this (and maybe some other issues that do not cross my mind rn) and be educated so we can all be drama free.

ok i'm done now, sorry for the long post, welcome again to the fandom, and if u decide to stay be ready for the tears and the pain caused by mr victor hugo ! bye bye, with love, a little french fan

[nekropsii]

hey bro, what did you see that led you to make that post about misogyny with female characters? Like, was it some posts with hateful comments about them?

Honestly, it's a topic that I get really mad at... Just because I know it has existed, and very much so still exists, despite the fact that a lot of people within the community like to claim that they're extremely Progressive and "above Bigotry". There doesn't necessarily have to be a trigger for me posting about it- it's unsettling how pervasive it is, and it's worth calling out whenever and wherever it's possible to do so, similarly to the Racism problem. It's been a problem for years, and it extends well beyond the scope of just the Homestuck fandom. It's a problem in every fandom that's ever existed, since it's a worldwide systemic issue that has, in many places, been mandated by law and (now known to be junk) science.

This isn't really the place for a lesson on the history of Misogyny, though, and I'm sure you're already aware of that, so let's just get back to the Homestuck discussion.

Absolutely being "that guy" right now, every single woman in Homestuck has been subjected to horrible levels of misogyny by the fans for varying reasons and with various effects. To list a few examples of their main effects on an assortment of characters...

Terezi was very frequently made into a "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" archetype. This was just about the only characterization you could find of her back in the day.

Vriska was and still is shafted with the worst discourse in the history of the world, with people refusing to acknowledge her humanity and pinning her as nothing but an unfeeling, horrifically abusive cunt who does nothing but destroy everything around her. She is the most controversial character, possibly in fandom history, and part of the reason for this intense hatred and backlash is literally because she is a woman.

Kanaya is still regularly reduced to nothing but a Mother Figure. Freudian, but true.

Jade is the most recent target of a full frontal assault of it, with the classic reason of "Getting Between the Hot Gays". This was bolstered by Post Canon, and is one of the reasons why I despise it.

Nepeta was reduced to nothing but her relationship with the men in her life, and given an uncharacteristic level of outright obsession with romance/shipping. Nepeta's entire character was rendered physically incapable of passing the Bechdel Test back in the day.

Jane. I literally do not have to say anything else.

Feferi was and still is unjustly characterized as a coldhearted mega-bitch who will tear you to shreds for acting a single step outside of your "best behavior".

Porrim is still generally reduced to nothing but a sex object. This is extremely fucking ironic to me, and also extremely painful.

Criticism of female characters is, and always will be, significantly more intense than that of male characters. It's a given. Misogyny will always be one of the number one ways people respond to a female character- and while it will manifest in different ways, as I have outlined here, it is genuinely unavoidable. Vriscourse is one of the most well known examples of intense, long-term fandom discourse known to internet history, to the point where people who had never even read the fucking comic would engage in it. Plenty of other male characters do some fucked up shit, some even worse than what she does- and are given much less humanity and reasoning- but they're let off arguably much easier than Vriska is.

I remember back in the day it would be common for people to have their favorite characters be Eridan, and/or Gamzee, and/or Cronus, and then be legitimately violently hateful of Vriska. And I mean violently- it would get downright disturbing. It still does. It was normal to receive death threats for saying you like her, or just drawing her or something- neither of which are signs of "condoning what she did", but people took it as such anyway. There comes a point where you have to ask what the line is, and that "line" is that she activates some fucked up sleeper agent in people's brains that tell them to bring out the fine china that is their own Latent Misogyny. The "line" is that she's a woman. People are okay when male characters hurt or kill people, they're okay when they say or do fucked up things, they're okay when they abuse people... At most, they'll get a light slap on the wrist. But if a female character does the same thing, they'll get absolutely lambasted with the most vile shit you've ever seen in your life from fans. Fans who claim to be "above" Bigotry. Who claim to be Progressive.

And honestly, chances are, that female character doesn't even have to do anything.

[ithebookhoarder]

“You’d eventually had to return to your duties, leaving your moment of passion in the library, to remain as one of the stories contained there.”

my fav line!!!! i loved your eloise x reader fic it’s stunning. if you take requests then perhaps something with a little angst? your writing is beautiful

This Love (Eloise Bridgerton x F!Reader)

A/N: I... I'll be honest. I just teared up. I originally wrote 'The Sun and The Moon' for Eloise when I first got into this fandom, so to know you enjoyed it makes me giddy. I was also listening to Taylor Swift and she makes me feel too much - hence the title.

I'm combining it with this, if that's ok, as it's Eloise pain train - apparently, in my inbox. Y'all like some angst 😅 and who am I to deny you? 👇

Masterlist:

“Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave Your smile, my ghost I fell to my knees When you're young, you just run But you come back to what you need”

(‘This Love’ - Taylor Swift)

You didn’t want to leave. 

It was that simple, even if the circumstances that took you from England’s shores were not so. Then again, you’d learned very early on in life that one couldn’t chose who they were blessed with - or cursed, in your case - to call family. 

Why, if you’d had any say in the matter, you’d have cast off your biological ancestry some years ago and wouldn’t now be faced with being dragged off to the continent so that your father could attend to business, in Italy of all places. 

Of course, it wasn’t exactly your grandfather’s fault he was dying, but you still felt like blaming him for being the cause of such disruption to your life here in London. After all, it was his death that took you across the ocean, and to inherit the fortune left now in your father’s name - something you had been told was as good as done, whether or not you liked it. 

You did not like it. 

Why did you have to go? Surely your father could handle his business without you and the rest of your family in tow? Did it really mean you had to leave for almost half a year? And that was travelling … who knew how long your father would insist on staying at his ancestral home, once you arrived? 

The whole thing made no sense to you, yet that didn’t change the outcome. Hence, you were now stood, hidden behind a wood shed, a few metres from the gangplank that would take you onto the ship set to sail half way around the world. 

Well, in fairness, your current predicament was actually due to the woman stood in front of you, who had somehow managed to abscond her family home in London and ride through the night to Dover, without anyone stopping her. 

Then again, that was Eloise all over. It was why you loved her… she was so stubborn, and headstrong, and a hundred other things… all of which, caused your heart to feel as if it were shattering into a million tiny pieces. 

It was also why you had written to her, telling her of your imminent departure, and that any and all affection that existed between you would have to be forgotten - it was for the best after all. One couldn’t be expected to care for someone who was disappearing for some godforsaken amount of time, with very little indication when you would return. 

It wasn’t fair to her and it wasn’t fair to you… or so you had wept, bitterly tossing the small lock of hair she had granted you into the fire. Just like that symbol, your love would have to be reduced to mere ashes, swept away out of sight and - hopefully - memory. 

It was also why you had written to her, telling her of your imminent departure, and that any and all affection that existed between you would have to be forgotten - it was for the best after all. One couldn’t be expected to care for someone who was disappearing for some godforsaken amount of time, with very little indication when you would return. It wasn’t fair to her and it wasn’t fair to you… or so you had wept, bitterly tossing the small lock of hair she had granted you into the fire. Just like that symbol, your love would have to be reduced to mere ashes, swept away out of sight and - hopefully - memory. 

It was also why you had sent that letter, rather than calling on her in person to deliver the news; you knew you weren’t strong enough to say goodbye. Not when it meant breaking the heart of the woman you loved, and had loved, for as long as you could remember. 

You and Eloise had been close since your infancy. 

In a way, you considered the Bridgertons and their home, as your own - much more so, than your actual family and their residence. It wasn’t that your parents weren’t good people, more that they had just never understood you. 

That, and they were far more occupied with their precious eldest son - the heir to the family’s estate and business in England - to pay attention to you.  

In fact, that was how you and Eloise had originally met, all those years ago. Your family had taken you all to the park for the day, but in the midst of flying kites, had failed to notice when you disappeared. 

Your own kite had drifted away into the trees, so you had hurried to fetch it, after telling your mother you were doing so. She had simply nodded, but had most likely not actually heard a word you said… why else had they moved on without you? You had barely been gone a whole five minutes, yet when you emerged from the undergrowth, kite in hand, they had been no where to be found. 

That had been when Eloise had found you… and practically adopted you then and there. 

You would never forget Violet Bridgerton’s face as she spotted you and Eloise, hand in hand, emerging from the woods towards the blankets where she and her other children sat. 

Eloise had taken you by the hand and tugged you forward, like some great treasure she’d found buried. “This is Y/N. I’ve brought her to join us,” she’d announced helpfully.

Lady Bridgerton, with fewer grey hairs than she had now, had blinked in surprise. “Does Y/N’s family know she’s here?” she’d asked. 

This consideration had, indeed, eluded both you and Eloise. Eloise considered a moment. “No.”

Her worst fears about her daughter’s role as kidnapper confirmed, Lady Violet looked sternly at her wayward daughter. “Well, you are going to have to return her.”

“It’s all right,” you said, matter-of-factly. “They don’t want me returned.”

“Oh. I see.”

And she had - in fact, for Violet Bridgerton, that had been that. You were firmly ensconced in the Bridgerton household. 

A few weeks in to you spending most days in their home, Violet Bridgerton did write a letter to your parents, on the theory that they might somehow resent the appropriation of their offspring, who seemed to spend almost every day with them. 

However, she received a reply that seemed so devoid of the slightest concern for you, that Lady Bridgerton muttered a few very uncomplimentary things in the general direction of your parents, and set about having a bed put in to Eloise’s room, for whenever you chose to stay the night - something she assured you, you were always welcome to do so. 

Needless to say, some years on, you loved the Bridgertons with all you heart, and their headstrong, wild, daughter, Eloise. You loved her, even now, as she stood before you with a face like thunder, ranting and raving about the fact you had almost left the country with only a few scraps of parchment left behind as an explanation. 

She was ethereal when she was cross. 

It was like witnessing a wild stallion racing across the countryside, free and utterly unrestrained, with her chestnut mane loose and dishevelled in the sea breeze that whistled down the alleyway. 

Her eyes were wide and her chest heaved with every enraged breath, her arms waving wildly like some actress upon the stage. 

Oh, how you wanted to kiss her. 

“I am not some carpet bag, for you to discard with barely a word!” 

“I know.”

“-and do you know what it’s like? To be cast aside so carelessly?-”

“Eloise.” 

“And another thing. It was cruel - cruel for you to decide what was best for me, without ever giving me a chance to decide for myself. Otherwise, if you had, you’d have realised I want this. I want you, no matter how far apart we are or for how long! I don’t need someone perfect in the eyes of everyone else. I just need someone perfect for me, and that is you.” 

Eloise’s words left you breathless… and her too, given the fact she seemed to be panting by the time she stopped, letting the magnitude of her declaration linger in the air between you. You didn’t know what to say. Somehow, she seemed to have voiced all the words you could ever dream of saying. 

It felt as if you were back in that library all over again, the day you had both first declared what you felt for one another. The same butterflies you had experienced then, a mixture of love, uncertainty, and pain, consumed you once more as you faced yet another impossible decision - a choice to step into the unknown, to risk what you both had together. 

Was it any wonder tears poured from both your eyes? 

“I… I’m sorry,” you choked, hoping she could see your sincerity. “I never wished to hurt you, and I’d hoped that perhaps your anger at me would eventually help dull the pain of my departure. That, and that I could spare us both this pain of saying goodbye in person. After all, you are the person who means the most to me, Eloise, in all the world. I am incomplete without you, and yet that is what I must be now, for who knows how long. I - I can’t ask you to wait for me… for us.” 

“And why not?” Eloise snarled. “Why not? Because you were afraid I wouldn’t? Or because I would?” 

She was right. 

There was no hiding from that fact, especially now. Not when she had come all this way, not when time had all but run out, and not when she was stood there, confronting you with the truth you had kept hidden deep inside. To hear someone else say it, aloud, was all it took for you to feel the shame and pain you’d been doing your best to suppress since the moment you had sent that blasted note. 

“I was trying to protect you.”

The words sounded as weak as you’d feared them to, the truth all too clear beneath them. 

Eloise could clearly sense it given the way she scoffed, looking almost offended by the very notion. “I do not need your protection. I never have, y/n. I chose you all by myself, fully aware and apprised of the risks of doing so.” 

“I know that, but what else was I supposed to do?”

“Talk to me? Trust me?” 

“You’re right,” you sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

“Well, at least you’re sorry,” Eloise grumbled under her breath, even if your words had clearly gone some way towards appeasing her temper. 

Maybe that was what gave you the confidence to continue your confession. After all, there was no point fighting it, not when this was the last chance either of you may ever have to say what you needed to in person. 

“What do you want me to say, El? The truth? That, leaving is the last thing I want to do? That, every part of me aches at the idea of being without you? That, all I want in the world is to be with you and to have the life we’ve been dreaming of?”

“… that would be a start, yes.” Eloise took a deep breath. “Look, I know I may not be the most eloquent when it comes to these things, but I needed to at least look you in the eye before you left. To say I love you, that I want to be with you, and that I am willing to wait for you if you are willing to have me - that is what I would have said right away if you’d told me about all this in person.” 

A ghost of a smile tugged at your lips. “I am sorry I didn’t get to hear that, but at least you said it now.” 

“In all honesty, I don’t know how I’ll manage without you the next couple months. Which is why I want something for us to hold onto, a promise of what’s waiting for us when I return.”

She reached into the pocket of her coat, and removed a small leather pouch. What she pulled out had you gasping in shock. 

“Rings?” 

“Yes. As a symbol of a promise,” Eloise explained, her cheeks burning with sudden embarrassment at the idea. “Like engagement rings, but we can wear them on whatever finger we chose - and they’re for us, rather than anyone else. A sign for ourselves of our love, and that we will be together again.” 

She sounded so resolute that you couldn’t help but also believe it. 

“You brought us rings?”

Eloise nodded. “I apologise, as I was almost late coming here I was in such a rush trying to find them, but I needed something to show you… to prove what I’m saying.” 

“Oh, I believe you. I believed you the moment you got out that carriage and dragged me behind a wood shed,” you half laughed, half sobbed, an overwhelming surge of emotion consuming you. “But I love these, all the same. They’re beautiful.” 

The rings were cold as they slid onto your fingers, the metal bands glimmering in the morning sunshine. 

It was odd, and thrilling, and just a little bit terrifying.

Yet… gratifying, too. You’d both done something crazy, opening yourself up to one another in such a way, even now. Especially now, if you were being honest. 

After all, Eloise had run off in the middle of the night, hoping to find happiness with you - even though you were set to leave the country by daybreak. And you? You had it in you to hope… to risk opening yourself up once more, even though your future remained uncertain.

It was a relief to think that maybe it hadn’t all been a complete mistake, that maybe you’d both gambled with your futures and won.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The kiss was passionate, even if brief, cut short by the loud bell of the ship ringing out in warning it would soon be departing. Your mother could also be heard calling your name in the distance, clearly anxious by your absence. 

“I… I should go.”

“I should also leave, before Mama sends out a search party,” Eloise sighed, holding you close for just a moment more. “I may have bribed the footmen to bring me here and I fear she will be waiting for me when I return.”

“Eloise!”

“What? I didn’t have time to ask her. She was already asleep when I found your note.” 

“Well, I’m glad you came,” you chuckled. “Your mother will understand, I’m sure. If not, blame me for she cannot punish me if I’m in Italy… Mine is less forgiving.”

As if she could hear you, your mother chose to once again call your name, clearly becoming agitated by your absence. However, you knew you had a few moments more before you had to fear discovery. The chances of your mother venturing down this alleyway were slim to none, let alone her risking a peak behind a woodshed. She was far too concerned with her pretty hemlines to dare stepping off the well swept streets. 

“Indeed,” Eloise acknowledged. “I will await your letter with confidence, for I know you will keep your word… else I shall be forced to sail after you and deal with your myself.” 

“Don’t tempt me. Who knew it would be so easy? Withholding a letter could bring you to my side again-”

“Ha,” she chuckled. “Colin will likely be travelling soon again, so I can always send him in my place, to hold you accountable.”

“Well, he would be more than welcome to visit, but I promise to write anyway - without your brother’s persuasion. I swear.”  

“Good,” Eloise whispered, taking a deep breath. “Now, go… leave, before I am unable to let you - or worse, your mother finds us and throws us in the harbour.” 

“You’re a menace!” 

“Yes, but your menace - and don't forget it.” 

“As if I possibly could.” You meant that whole heartedly, and you knew by the watery nod she gave in return that she understood it. “This isn't the end, merely a new chapter in our story. One, which we will keep on writing.”

It was an oath you both swore then and there in the first rays of sunlight, a new day dawning all around. 

You swore it with the final kiss you stole. 

You swore it with the ring you now wore on your hand, never to be removed for as long as you lived. 

You swore it as you climbed aboard the ship, catching her eye one final time across the crowd as she stood by her carriage and waved. That was the image you would hold on to until you were next standing on English soil - a fact you were sure to mention in your first letter, which you wrote that very night. 

You would send it - along with the rest you would write for her, everyday - the moment you reached the next port. For, as you signed the bottom of the note, you were: 

Eternally yours - until we meet again, my love,

Y/N

[halorocks1214]

would you mind elaborating a bit more on the c!phil and c!techno post? not saying you’re wrong in the least, it’s just an interesting opinion I haven’t seen before! I was curious about the reasons?

*waddles in* okay im finally back from class and have a real keyboard to use for this yeehaw

to keep my feelings brief cuz im aware im biased- inniter both proud and shameful ✊😔- there's a trend i've noticed about certain types of content recently that has some symmetry to what was going on at the beginning of the year. but unlike those few months ago, most people seem to be reacting positively to today's stuff

the bedrock bros arc in particular had a lot of discourse surrounding it, especially after the mutual betrayal. many c!tommy fans would rightfully point out how it was a lil eff'ed up that c!techno kind of sort of lied to c!tommy about his real intentions and was dodgy when c!tommy tried pointing out how that's not what he wanted to do ("we'll smooth out the finer details later" or w/e the quote was)

in response, it felt like a cacophony of people claimed how techno was his own character, that he didn't need to be some random kid's caretaker, to the point that the whole "characters shouldn't be judged by how they treat c!tommy" take was created

nowadays i'm seeing c!rivals duo material come out of the woodwork like a flood. a lot of people want c!dream to join the syndicate, have him heal out in the tundra with c!techno after the piglin breaks him out of pandora's vault and away from his torture

now, there are quite a few reasons why i and many others aren't a fan of this idea, but this post is about how c!techno shouldn't be reduced down to any character's therapist! he has his own plotlines with his own motivations, certainly, those same people will at least point out that c!dream fans want a similar story that c!tommy fans did back in december and january, right?

😐

then there's the man the myth the legend c!philza himself, coining the title schrodinger's father for a good few months. with the canonicity of the sbi family dynamic being somewhat wonky (not deconfirmed however), people split harshly into two categories: those who liked the idea of c!phil still being c!tommy's father, and those who very very very much did not

regardless of people's true opinions on the matter, c!tommy fans (fairly) pointed out that c!phil destroying the kid's home right in front of him was a little messed up. c!phil was canonically aware that c!dream was up to something funky, yet he still went through the idea of teaming up with him to raze l'manberg into the ground, which stung c!tommy enthusiasts a little. who wouldn't be just a smidge butthurt about something like that happening to their fave?

like clockwork, lots of people criticized and even outright bemoaned this train of thought. c!phil isn't even c!tommy's father who cares! he certainly doesn't need to, stop making everything about the kid! y'all just have daddy issues and are projecting tbh 🤪

now back to the prison arc, we yet again return to the potential plot of syndicate!dream, where he'll be best buddies with c!emerald duo and c!niki will spoonfeed him while he recovers (yes this is a /srs headcanon i saw) and c!ranboo will just have to "get over" his fear of c!dream to see they're actually best buds (another /srs comment someone made yes that is word-for-word what it said)

essentially, someone in discord shared a tweet that was basically talking about the idea of c!techno shoving c!dream into c!phil's lap saying "here, be a father whether you like it or not" and, well, i got somewhat peeved if that untagged post i made is anything to go by

it's starting to feel more and more like people didn't actually care that others were writing c!techno and c!phil in caretaker roles, they only cared that c!tommy was the one being taken care of. because c!tommy is apparently the literal spawn of satan and is the worst thing to happen to the dsmp and is super annoying and blah blah

but instead of, idk, admitting that c!tommy just wasn't their fave and moving on from content they didn't like, they needed to create these excuses about how it was actually super awful that these fans were doing things like this, that you should feel bad if you support this kind of content because you are ruining these characters and everything they stand for

nevermind that this kind of stuff has been a normal occurrence in fandoms since fandoms have been a definable thing, that while yes it gets annoying how certain characters are favored above all others literally all you're achieving by tearing down someone else's work is that same person either A.) making more of that stuff out of spite or B.) potentially quit making stuff for the fandom altogether

it's just... it sucks, that it feels like you can't want anything nice for c!tommy without it getting called "ooc" or being accused that you only watch his POV and make everything about him. maybe i'm sensitive, maybe im extrapolating, but i wouldn't be the only one who is, considering i've seen multiple others voice similar feelings regarding this situation

so there we have it i guess. my brief words that ended up not being brief at all (so sorry dear anon, i really did try to keep this down to one page at most :headinhands:) and i hope they make at least some partial sense, now i gotta go read even more random shit for my hw fsndkfjndf save me /lh

[frenchkanna1808]

Went to Reddit saw some ... very interesting take

The post was talking about the fate that you think this character will have in season 5. 1)A third of the post concerning will was about his haircut 2)The other third was all about will moving on from mike and “growing up” and realizing mike will never love him 3)And the last third was all about how will would die in season 5 and hating on him  4)Everyone i mean everyone was talking about how Jonathan would die and with that Nancy wouldn’t have to choose between him and Steve

1)Will bowl cut jokes are not funny anymore and the reason you keep bringing up his hair his because you’re an unimaginative mindless mob who is only capable of mocking a 15 years old because he’s gay. It’s not only not funny but also offensive i would say, because labeling a ptsd abused traumatized child journey as “that gay dude with a bowl cut”, you’re reducing him to a one dimensional character. It’s diminishing and ableist. 

2)Will.is. never. gonna. get. a. boyfriend. other. than. mike. Stop lying to yourself. Either Mike and will become cannon or Milkshake endgame and will is single and depressed. There no alternative. The only reason you want will to have a boyfriend is so that you don’t feel to much pity and guilt of robbing him of his one and only true love since childhood. You are not a fan of will if you want him to be depressed and in a terrible relationship with mike, you’re just lying to yourself. Also the term of him “Growing up” rub me the wrong way, you think that will love for mike is “not mature”, “childish”,”infantile” cause it’s not. Macarena is childish, infantile and not mature as a relationship. Will love for mike , is beautiful and complex. Either you’re projecting  (like mike) or you are implying that mlm love is childish.

3) Okay the Will would die theory is pretty popular but i don’t get it, Will is currently the only gay character in stranger things. The worst mistake the duffers would do is to kill the only mlm character that they have. The backlash their gonna get is immense and the fandom will tear itself apart. Most of season 4 was all about making the GA root for will happiness and understand his struggle. It would be like a knife in the back, it would be again “the bury the gays trope”. And Will would become probably the most tragic character in TV history in my eyes. The Will hate is one of the most ridiculous shit in the fandom, Will never did anything wrong, he’s a creative kind soul, all he ever did was loving his first friend, the first person that made him feel like he was normal. You don’t have any reason to hate will except if you’re homophobic or toxic ass My mother aborted me stan. Will want the best for eleven and mike, he is currently the only mileven fan in the series, so you should be thankful, without him you wouldn’t have got that stupid ass monologue. Or maybe... Just maybe the reason you hate him... Is because you know deep in your heart... That mileven is bones and you’re scared that will finishes with mike. Also why the Noah acting hate, he’s  one of the most wonderful actor in the series, so stop it, it’s idiotic.

4) Do you not realize how reducing it is to say that Nancy, Jonathan's girlfriend, isn’t capable of making her own choice and that when Jonathan “will die”, she will jump inside Steve arms and realize he was the man of her life. Not only will Nancy will never be able to accomplish her dreams of becoming a journalist with Steve, but do you think that after Barb and Jonathan death, she is gonna move on and be capable of living like nothing happened. Jonathan love her so much and she does too. Also reducing her character to the girl who gotta choose between two men is stupid. Either she stays with Jonathan or she become and independent, there no way she would be with Steve. Also what is it with the Jonathan hate, No the Byers hate in general. Jonathan is a abused young adult from a poor family who had to around 7 to 9 years old take care of his brother. He has every rights to kinda fall the deep end. In season 4 he completely left his passions, his hobbies, his dreams and his relationship with Nancy in the bin. He deserve just like any character to be happy and get up. But all the GA thinks is that he became a drug consumers for fun. Buuuut no he deserve to die so that a character can die and stancy become cannon. Also the Byers deserve to never be happy and Joyce after living with an alcoholic father who abused her kids, losing her lover better lose her son. Like the Byers are gonna fall the deep end. But it’s starting to be a pattern

So my final take: I can’t wait from when Will keep his bowl cut and kisses his boyfriend mike wheeler on the swings they met. Can’t wait from when Noah get an award for his acting and kills it in season 5. Can’t wait from when Steve and El become independent girlboss/boyboss. And i can’t wait that compared to what you wish the Byers-hopper live happily with the people they loves.

[formashimataichi]

i thought I didn't care about the endgame but godddd I'm so happy my 17 year old me it's crying tears of happiness but I need time to process how I feel about this I love taichi and chihaya the most and I feel like I have been reading something wrong jsjsjs I had this idea that taichihaya endgame was going to damp taichi's development so I need time to process but I'm happy I wish you would post your thoughts soon I always liked reading your blog

I was honestly of the same belief! I think the way Chihaya's reciprocation of anyone's feelings has been talked about in fandom at large (i.e., the idea that either Arata or Taichi "deserves" that reciprocation simply by virtue of loving her) really led me to become averse to any sort of ending where she did reciprocate because there was a fear that it actually would end up validating that philosophy. And I'll be honest, I think that was a very prevalent mindset in the Taichi camp especially! Maybe not from you specifically, but it was one I saw a lot and it's what caused me to divest from Taichi fans in general despite him consistently being my favorite character and his relationship with Chihaya consistently being my favorite as well. I was really exhausted of seeing it parroted that Taichi's personal growth and journey in passion or love or self-fulfillment would be worthless if he wasn't reciprocated by Chihaya. There was so much about his character arc that was genuinely borne of his own self-sufficiency and persistent desire to grow into a better, sturdier person. It felt belittling to me to reduce it to hinging on a reciprocation of first love.

But, lo and behold! One should always trust Suetsugu to stick to her guns and stand by her espoused philosophy to the end. It makes complete sense to me that Taichi was allowed that ownership of his own growth in karuta and friendship, and that the reciprocation of his feelings came as an external aftermath to that resolution, not as a reward for it. A mutual of mine on Twitter mentioned this, but I think it was very purposeful and poignant that the reciprocation and the buildup to it in the chapter was framed entirely from Chihaya's perspective. It was truly her pursuing what she wanted on her own terms and timeline rather than her being beholden to the demands of anyone else in the story (or the fandom, lmao). I still don't know that it's a conclusion that revives the old fondness I used to have for them as a romance, I really do feel like I've moved on from romance being at the apex of my investment in this narrative as a whole, but I deeply respect that Suetsugu executed her story the way she wanted to to the very end, and that the emphasis was on this being a beautiful moment in time for both Chihaya and Taichi to appreciate and enjoy to the fullest. We don't know what will happen with them down the line, whether they'll last or whether they won't, but it's unimportant in the face of their present content, and that's a very admirable picture to paint as a writer who's spent so much time emphasizing on the present beauty of youth.