#I have no words bro
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Would u go swimming butt booty naked with a butt booty naked chunkz and butt booty naked Freddy fatbear for a 75% chance of winning 300 billion dollars?
You have to all have to stay in the pool for 5 hours playing games such as Marco Polo and swimming together
BRO HELLNAWWWWWWWWW😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
you said butt booty naked more times than you needed to imma be sick
first off fym 75% chance? what happened to the other 25% im owed… SECOND WHY FREDDY FAZBEAR BRO HE ALR RAW AND IN CHARGE 24/7 THE BOWTIE AND TODDLER TOP HAT DONT EVEN COUNY AS CLOTHES
and chunkz…..
i don’t even know this man but he seems to be quite delighted at the breath play……
trust im not going in the water naked with a man and a half because freddy and his robo gymnastics gonna have us in there like a electric chair before the first ten seconds
AND WHY IT GOTTA BE FIVE HOURS LIKE WHEN AM I EATING AND WHAT TIME OF DAY PLUS I AINT EVEN PROMISED THE MONEY AND THEN IF I GET IT THEY GON MAKE ME GO UP A TAX BRACKET IMMA LOSE ALL THEM FUNDS I DONT EVEN DO TAXES
nah you’re trippin do me a favor hop off my page and take a break from the inbox.
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For all my fellow ADHD and soft voice-havers when we get interrupted/can't say anything constantly
#bro having conversations is so hard#i swear my voice is literally at the perfect frequency to make it barely audible to anyone without superhuman hearing or smthn#the amount of times no one hears what im trying to say#so i cant interrupt because im not loud enough and i also cant TALK OVER people because overlapping words is#like the perfect recipe for a sensory overload/autistic shutdown
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#kagerou project#kagepro#mary kozakura#kano shuuya#kido tsubomi#seto kousuke#my art#critai mine#WAUGHHDH !!!!!!!#happy 15th from the jst timezone#IM NOT DONE YET I SITLL HAVE 2 DRAW AYANO#bro this file crashed sm times AUGHDHH#edit: WAGH I FOUND OUT THIS WENT ON THE RADAR WTF#i remember when i first posted this i didnt have time to explain the comp process for this 1 and not that it was anything big just#felt like i had to explain kano's framing bc it does look wonky#p much that it's actually the outline of the yobanashi graffiti title in his mv :-) !!!#not sum fucked up hole lol#everything else i think it's p self explanatory www was abt to do mekakushi code for kido but i felt like shissou word highlighted her#character more so i went w that..!!!#and originally i was to draw mary as a separate piece and have the meka trio in another but i didnt have time...#which is fine bc sidu did the same thing in their art book also LMAO#mary's og concept was also the curtain idea but behind her would've ben her mom + maybe seto (imagination forest stuff)#thank u for the nice tags :"-DDD
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO
1 like = 1 prayer
#bro was literally trying to rent us a silent hill apartment#we already paid first and last too which was 2700k and he said hes not gonna refund us EVEN THO WE DIDNT EVEN MOVE IN!!#like first month i get BUT NOT EVEN THE SECOND MONTH?? all landlords go to hell#looking back at the og listing like.....yeah i can see why he never took pics of the outside......literally looks like a landfill😃#we're SO LUCKY that uhaul allowed us to keep our things stored with them bc if they insisted on our shit still being dropped off#we woulda been so screwed/forced to move in and then would have had to hire ANOTHER uhaul to move back OUT lol#AND I HATE MOVING the idea of unloading all of our stuff just to pack it again literally makes me wanna perish#but even tho i may be a homeless drifter rn that wont stop me from also working on my oneshot between searching for places😍#the oneshot has a smut scene at the beginning LMAO and smut takes me forever to write so id been putting it off#but now that im over that hump (pun intended) i think ill be faster now brrrrrrrrrrr 9k words so far#its probs gonna be like 40k LMFAO maybe longer... idek#but also ill be hella busy trying to find a home so LMFAO who knows...chat im so fucking TIREDDDDD🧎♀️🧎♀️#my moms trying to see if she can fight him and get our money back but it aint lookin good bros#if i randomly open commissions then youll also know why LMAO
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if anyone FUCKING cares
#mine#venture bros#shoreleave#al the alchemist#NEITHER OF THEM HAVE REAL NAMES 😭#i still dont even know if shoreleave is one word or two
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in defense of kabumisu……..
addressing things I see people say about why kabru being shipped w mithrun is ‘bad’ or why their canon relationship ‘doesn’t mean anything’ while also clearing up misconceptions of the characters some fans have
listen it keeps popping up and I just gotta do this or my brain will melt (if you don’t see it around then god I wish that were me) there’s an age gap!- erm there’s also an age gap in farcille (ily), the most popular ship in the series...also chilchuck looks like a kid but a lot of fans recognize him as a dilf because of his relative age, so there should be no age gap discourse among adult characters because it feels so conditional tbh
kabru taking care of mithrun is racist!- marcille likes to take care of others as well. is that sexist, or just an aspect of her character?
kabru isn’t treated like a servant, waiting on mithrun hand and foot…I mean he gives mithrun a foot massage but no one told him to do all that lmfao
he's also not the only one to care for mithrun. pattadol is shown to worry for him and milsril was the one to start taking care mithrun in the first place after he…...y’know. speaking of which-
they probably met when kabru was a kid!- neither of them showed signs of recognizing each other the entire time mithrun was introduced nor when they were together. and im pretty sure KABRU of all people would show some kind of recognition if they'd met before. it's kabru!!! the people person!!! mr. "i-noted-down-50+-characters-in-this-dude's-backstory-for-fun-and-actually-enjoy-social-gatherings"
you would think some kind of memory would come back to him especially after hearing mithrun’s backstory if milsril had even told kabru about him as a kid. but nope. it’s just fan speculation unless there's a side comic suggesting otherwise that i haven't seen
mithrun doesn't care about kabru, his shapeshift double looked like shit!- it's obviously because of mithrun's (then) lack of desires that it looked like that, but they really grow on each other
i think it's safe to assume it'd look more like kabru after they spent so much time together (also laios can barely even remember kabru's name..also saw his face multiple times and didn’t recognize him when they talked for the first time)
mithrun is racist!- he’s actually the least likely character to be racist since he lost his desires and that includes a desire for superiority over others. he even calls his past self out on that part of himself. the other elves in that side comic were being just as racist to shorter lived races but just didn’t use ‘outdated slurs’
(unfortunately literally every main character in dunmeshi is at least a lil prejudiced, but I believe it’s worldbuilding and a sign of the times rather than a reason ryoko kui is giving to hate each character)
taking care of others is a pain in the ass!- saying this as a reason kabru and mithrun shouldn't be together is basically saying disabled people shouldn't be allowed to have romantic relationships because they're a "burden"...if someone is actually willing to put in the work, then let them be.
that's not even all of their relationship, mithrun is the fighter of their duo and kabru would've been killed by the shapeshifter or something if he'd fallen down the hole on his own since he sucks at fighting monsters. mithrun helps collect ingredients for cooking every time, too (barometz fruits and griffin egg). he pulls his weight and then some!! i feel like people forget that part of mithrun a lot somehow.
+senshi literally cooks for everyone all time. it's kind of an important aspect of the narrative.
+also, while it is a popular fan thing I see around that kabru handfeeds mithrun, he literally never does lol this is mithrun using his own hands to eat:
also here we have him washing his own body
just saying because people like to treat mithrun like a baby even though the narrative respects him as a capable adult who also has special needs because of an accident. he’s captain for a reason
kabru hates taking care of mithrun!- not exactly, he was initially surprised and put off but got used to it quickly. i’m sure he’s grateful for all the times mithrun saved him from a monster and teleported them out of danger as well
he even starts doing “unnecessary” things for mithrun’s comfort and safety like when mithrun pushes himself too hard fighting, even after his mission to take care of him was complete when the canaries came back
here is even kabru resting while mithrun keeps watch (mithrun let him sleep for 5 hours before waking him up from the nightmare earlier, too):
there's nothing more to their relationship!- they actually have had a very tight and consistent dynamic since they met and they incite the most change within each other by the end. kabru is the one who inspires mithrun to create new desires so he doesn't waste away, and mithrun is the first person we see kabru being genuine with and it leads him to be more honest with others by the end instead of tiptoeing around everyone all the time (that mask was also the reason some ppl initially disliked kabru…)
kabru’s relationship with mithrun is honestly so important for his character and vice versa, but it’s often disregarded because of one over exaggerated aspect of it (an aspect that isn’t even the first way they interact with each other) or because people want to just straight up ignore it for some reason 🥲🥲
kui dedicates many panels to them that don't particularly serve the narrative as a whole in order to demonstrate this and i think that's pretty significant
you're taking this too seriously!- as if i'm the first person in the world to be crazy about a ship or the characters 😭 i love analyzing text and it's upsetting to see them mischaracterized when kui lays out the characters so clearly and deliberately
also they end up touching each other like all the time and have the kind of canon validation most ppl can only dream of lol i feel so insane look at this:
and this is just when they're first getting to know each other cuz there's a fuckload more
kinda hard to explain how i don't actually need them to get married or whatever but i'd die on this hill for them and i enjoy their dynamic immensely
haha you thought you were reading ship discourse but it was actually a character analysis 🤪🤪🤪
also don’t somehow take this to mean I think anyone has to ship them, I just need everyone to understand these accusations kind of don’t make sense especially when they can also apply to other pairs or characters
bonus kabru just looking at mithrun:
#dungeon meshi#kabumisu#kabru of utaya#mithrun#dungeon meshi spoilers#i'd rather be able to enjoy their dynamic without feeling like i have to explain it but i keep seeing the same takes i cant do this anym-#i feel like i advocate for kabumisu so much because i see so many people mischaracterizing kabru to make l4bru work like how they want#by saying he’s obsessed w laios because he thinks he’s hot..but he was curious about his autistic behavior and eventually thought his lack#of malice would make laios the best candidate for becoming dungeon lord to prevent another utaya tragedy. tho eventually he doubts that#not that i care that he's shipped with laius. i just want ppl to see kabru for who he IS bc some still think hes nothing but a shady bicth#i think that's best shown through his dynamic with mithrun (other than his own words of course) so i want ppl to acknowledge it properly#like idk if I can trust popular fan interpretations of the characters or relationships anymore after the shit with toshiro bro 💀💀#not trying to attach kabru’s entire being to mithrun or anything either just..saying#hm i feel like the way i worded all of this will make some ppl mad. not my intention but whoops#anyways has anyone drawn ship art of senshi and mithrun yet? anyone?
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Redrew my Owen in The Jacket™ drawing from about eight months ago.
(Original here)
#the improvement goes crazy imo#for it having been less than a year#I used the same brush for the lineart too#procreate 6b the love of my life#I still stand by my love of this headcanon#especially with how it coincides with their red/blue dynamic#and it’s just about how Curt uses it as a comfort object after the prince is assissinated#in my mind- at least#I think about it often#every time I watch spies really#and whenever I draw curt wearing it#I have so many words about it#that I will not say- at least not right now#tcb spies are forever#spies are forever#owen carvour#agent owen carvour#joey richter#tin can brothers#tin can bros#my art
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Buzz Buzz - Sanji x Reader NSFW
Girl........I am down bad.
Word Count: 7,200 words!?!? Girl what the fuck.... This is self-indulgent af.
Sanji finds something of yours that you really would've preferred to keep private. But maybe it wasn't all bad?
Warnings; NSFW MDNI. cis!fem reader, sorry 'bout that, Both Sanji and reader are incredibly awkward, self-conscious, and like one-upping each other, plus size!reader, vibrators, no p in v soz lol. 100% this was written with pre-timeskip anime Sanji in mind, love that cringefail malewife energy. Surprisingly switches all round...also yes I know those with dicks have a refractory period...I just don't care lol
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You had barely made it inside the women’s room when you caught the ship’s cook. He was crouched, holding something small and looking befuddled. What was that? Wait! No, how did he find that!?
"Sanji! Put that down!" You screamed, face on fire.
Sanji shot to his feet, looking terrified at the prospect of being caught, and yet, he still periodically eyed the implement in his hand, making no move to abandon it.
"What is it?" The question sounded innocent, but you knew the flirt was just trying to get a rise out of you. Unfortunately you're only human, and Sanji always seemed to bring out the worst of it.
"You know EXACTLY what that is!" You hissed, trying to lunge for it. Sanji side stepped you with ease. With fire in your eyes, you quickly captured his wrist, backing him against the wall. Sanji blinked at you blankly. His questioning look stopping you in your tracks. "You...you don't know what that is, do you?"
You wanted to faint when Sanji shook his head. What the hell did he mean? You were sure if any of the men on board knew what that was, it would be the perverted cook. With a blush you stared him down.
"It's a massager."
"Oh my dear, you should come to me, I'd gladly rub your stress away."
You honest to gods squealed at that. Recovering, you caged the man in between you and the wall, fist resting next to his head. Your eyes burning as you sized him up. "Are you fucking with me Black Leg?"
"No, I would gladly give you a massage! My hands may be for cooking, but for you my dear, I'll make an exception. Maybe I could use it some time?"
If your face got any redder you would faint. Spitting out a growl, you regarded the man with a sneer. How dare that asshole make fun of you? "You fucking pervert."
Sanji jumped, clearly offended. "How?! I was only offering a shoulder massage. I don't have any ulterior motives, chef's honour."
"It's a personal massager, Sanji." You gritted out. The blonde stared down at you, confusion evident. Gods he was so stupid sometimes! A growl ripped from your throat. "It's a vibrator. A sex toy. I use it to cum."
The velvety soft bullet clattered to the ground. Darting your eyes up, you took in the frozen man. Sanji was growing redder at a rapid pace. He squeaked out something unintelligible. You watched the blush spread down his neck, blooming beautifully. Huh, he really didn't know what it was.
"Oh." He managed. "You...uh...a toy?"
"I have needs Sanji." You deadpanned, pulling away. You didn't miss how he sighed in relief at your retreating form. Man, fuck him! It's not like you left it out in the open for anyone to find it!
"And you...you use it?"
"Well duh...it's not for decoration." You crossed your arms over your chest, feeling uncomfortable at the way he looked at you incredulously. "Look now that we've got that explained, can you piss off and let me wallow in my embarrassment?"
Sanji didn't budge, still looking at you with that odd look on his face, like he didn't quite understand. It caused anger to burn brighter in your chest. You snatched the vibrator off the floor, causing Sanji's eyes to widen. With a huff you stomped to your bed, flopping face down onto it.
"Miss (Name)?" Sanji asked quietly. You ignored him, trying to suffocate yourself with your pillow. This was humiliating. Why the hell did you have to like Sanji of all people? "Look, (Name), I was just surprised is all-"
You snapped at him from your hiding spot. "We don't all chase the first pretty thing we see to get relief Sanji! Some of us have to take care of our own business."
"Wh-what?"
All you were doing was digging yourself a deeper hole, but you didn't care. "I saw how disgusted you looked. I didn't ask you to find it. You can go tell the crew how pathetic I am! Oh, (name) can't get anyone to look at her like that, how sad. Poor thing, having to rely on something like a toy. Hahaha! Never mind there's never any stupid privacy on this stupid ship. A-and I can have the urge too! So don't look at me like that! I haven't had sex since I got on this godforsaken ship, so excuse me for getting something to help."
You were purely catastrophising, clear that anxiety had gotten the best of you. Sanji would never be that cruel. You weren't sure when, but judging on how damp your pillow was, you had been crying for some time. Well that's embarrassing. Sanji was the last person you wanted to cry in front of.
The bed creaked from extra weight, causing you to wince. You tried desperately to make yourself smaller, to shy away from the man. Instead you felt his large hand pat the small of your back. You jumped in surprise, causing the hand to falter. It began rubbing small soothing circles, You sighed.
"Why aren't you leaving? I asked you to piss off."
There was a pause. Then you heard Sanji speak. It was faint, unsure of what to do.
"And leave a lady to cry alone? I don't think so." You scoffed. "If it makes you feel better-"
"Look I'm sorry for crying-"
"I think it's hot."
You stiffened. Sanji felt you go rigid beneath his touch. The silence grew suffocating, You whipped your head to meet his gaze, eyes wide.
"Fucking excuse me?"
Sanji looked embarrassed, ducking to avoid your questioning eyes. The hand on your back spasmed. "I didn't think it was pathetic...thought it was hot...And I don't think it's true that no one shows you interest-"
That drew a callous laugh from you. "Oh please. You and I both know I'm not drop dead gorgeous like Nami or Robin. You've seen the attention I get from men. You don't look like me and not see the way men avoid you like the plague."
The hand on your back tightened into a fist. grabbing the back of your top. You tried to twist to lie on your back but the hand held you in place. Sanji's voice was dark, an unspoken threat dangling in the air. "Excuse me?"
"C'mon Ji, it's cute you're trying to cheer me up but look at me! You think I'm the kinda girl that has men lining up out the door to fuck? I know how I look, it's why I got this back in Loguetown. Don't need to scare anyone off this way." You waggled the vibrator, laughing.
Sanji clearly did not like the way you were talking about yourself, if the way he quickly flipped you onto your back was any indication. You squealed in alarm, feeling the hard mattress dig into your back. He hovered over you, caging you under him, his legs on either side of your plush thighs. You gulped.
"Are you serious?" He snarled. You stared up at him, his eyes were burning with anger, lips drawn into a frown. You protested weakly.
"Sanji, c'mon man. I know its your whole philosophy that every woman is beautiful, and all that, but let's be real here-"
"Yeah?" He breathed out, daring you to continue. You raised an eyebrow at him.
"You don't have to act like I'm attractive Sanji. When we were in Alabasta you literally tried to cover me up with your jacket after I wore that stupid dancer costume."
The man above you blanched. "Oh (name), you thought I-"
"Was disgusted? Yeah? I don't blame you, it couldn't have been a pretty sight."
"Will you stop that!?" He growled. You froze.
"Wait, you're actually mad?"
Sanji scoffed. "Mad? I'm furious. Who the hell told you you aren't breathtaking?"
"Wh-what? I'm not! I don't need explicit words to see that people don't see me that way. Whenever we go out, it's always men fawning over Nami and Robin, and rightfully so, they're hot. If we need to distract someone? It's always Nami being sexy. You do it too. Nami shows a little skin? You're wagging your tongue like a stray dog. I show a bit of skin? You look like you're in physical pain. What about that day on the deck when we were sunbathing? Nami and Robin had hyped me up to try a bikini. I'd never worn one before. When you saw me in a swimsuit, you couldn't get out of there fast enough, like the mere sight of me hurt you. Haven't worn one since."
"I was in pain." Sanji spat. "I was fucking hard."
What?
You gasped. "What?"
Sanji's face was a dark red, his ears burning, but he held your gaze, looking furious. If looks could kill you'd be nothing but ash under him. "I was fucking hard." He repeated. "I had no idea you were going to be there half-naked. Had to get out of there quick before anyone saw."
You opened your mouth to speak, but Sanji wasn't done.
"And in Alabasta? I tried covering you because I realised it was a mistake. That I wanted to be the only one to see you like that. And I wasn't lying when I said you having a vibrator was hot! I was in shock at the thought of you using it. I don't think it's pathetic. I think me having to fucking jack off in the bathroom because you bent over in front of me, or made those noises enjoying my food, or I watched you kick some guy's ass, is pathetic. Why can't you understand that you're sexy?"
Sanji took in you under him, chubby cheeks a bright red. Your eyes were wet with unshed tears. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry I ever made you think you weren't gorgeous."
"But..." You started, clearly flustered. "Nami and Robin?"
"Are beautiful, yes. But they aren't you."
"But...you really think I'm pretty?"
"Pretty? Darling I think you're so fucking hot you've made me cum in my pants like a boy more than once."
"Really?!" Your eyes were sparkling. That was a welcome change, Sanji mused. He would gladly embarrass himself tenfold, if it meant you'd see yourself how he saw you.
"Yeah. Once was not long after we met. You wanted a sparring partner. I thought you were gonna go easy on me, and I wasn't gonna fight back. You were vicious. It was hot." He tried to shrug in his current position. "If you remember you got me in a headlock between your thighs."
"I thought you slunk away because you were upset I hurt you? You made that whimpering noise and looked in pain."
"I do not whimper!" He protested weakly. "I 'slunk away' because I came."
"Oh."
"So I can assure you, I'm a pervert for you too, especially you."
"I think of you when I masturbate!" You blurted out.
It happened quickly. Sanji's eyes grew wide, his breath hitched. You watched as his forearms shook.
Then he lost his balance.
You'd love to say he fell head first into your tits, moaning in pure bliss. But that only happens in romance books.
No. He headbutted you by accident, flopping directly on top of you like a dead fish. The two of you hissed in pain. Your head throbbed. Motherfucker. For a scrawny bastard he sure was heavy, clearly all muscle, you mused. All muscle, including the very firm one that was poking you in the hip.
"Are you fucking hard?" You hissed. Sanji propped himself up with one hand by your side, the other rubbing his forehead.
"Of course I'm hard." He hissed back. "You just told me you masturbate to me. I'm assuming you're using that stupid toy."
"It's not stupid!" You defended. "It can pack quite a punch."
"You could have used me, darling?" He offered halfheartedly, masking his nerves with a fake smile.
You shot him a wry grin back. "Oh that was smooth. Unless you can magically vibrate-"
"I could do better."
"You could let me use it on you." Hmph. Cheeky. Sanji felt faint at the implications. His cock twitched against you. You widen your eyes at him in interest. "Oh? Would you like to try it?
"I'd rather try you, thank you."
You laughed honestly. Sanji felt the air knocked out of him when you caged him in with your legs, ankles crossing to dig in his back. He shuddered as you dragged him deeper against you, a dangerous look in your eyes. Sanji loved you, honestly. But sometimes he wanted nothing more than to make you feel as nervous as he did. Mustering all his charm he winked at you.
"So you masturbate to the thought of me?"
Oh that did it. Red bloomed deliciously from your cheeks, your ears, down to where your neckline began. Sanji felt his cock twitch eagerly, pride filling him. You diverted your gaze in embarrassment, puffing out your cheeks. Cute.
"And if I do?"
"That's cute." He grinned, You scowled up at him. He felt your thighs tighten around him. "Oh, I affect you that much, hm?"
Sanji couldn't help the involuntary squawk that escaped when you flipped the two of you with your hips, taking advantage of your lower centre of gravity. Your weight sat deliciously on top of him, allowing him to effectively crush his cock against your clothed mound. He groaned as you adjusted your position, making yourself comfortable.
"What was that, cook?" You panted out, trying to minimise how riled up you were. With pure purpose, you leant forward, caging his head between your arms. "Because from where I am you look pretty affected."
The man below you gulped as you leant forward, moving to rest on your elbows, bringing your face closer. The blush on your cheeks showed no sign of calming down, the only telltale sign Sanji could find that you were embarrassed. Your voice dropped. "If you must know, it's a common occurrence. You drive me wild you silly man. Can I kiss you?"
Sanji laughed, dragging your face down to meet him. He kissed you passionately, hands cradling your face firmly. You smiled into the kiss, sucking gently at his lower lip. With a groan, Sanji reciprocated and then some. The impromptu makeout session halted when you propped yourself up to breathe. You stared down at him with stars in your eyes.
"Wow." You breathed.
"Yeah." Sanji panted.
Silence. The two of you basking in each other.
"Would you let me play with you, Sanji?"
You were rewarded with a moan as he nodded, eyes scrunched shut. Eagerly you sat back on his hips. Exploratively, you ran your hands down his chest, rubbing your way back up. Sanji shivered as you began unbuttoning his shirt, fingers clumsy with want. When you got the last button done you couldn't help yourself, feeling all over his chest, as if you were mapping it to memory. Sanji hissed as your nails lightly scratched over his nipples, hips lightly bucking up into you. You hummed appreciatively.
"Can you stop teasing me, love?" Sanji bit out. You laughed.
With no pomp or circumstance, you divest yourself of your shirt, tossing it somewhere behind you. Sanji whined, reaching up for you. You avoided his hand, crushing your bra-clad chest back to his. You were rewarded with a stuttered sigh.
Sanji felt himself freeze when you licked a stripe up his neck. You were savouring him, stopping to nibble his ear lobe. You had one arm stretched far past his head, the other braced on his shoulder. Sanji bucked his hips at a particularly harsh bite. He could feel you grin against his skin. If Sanji was honest, he felt faint as you kissed back down his neck, stopping when you found his pulse point. Sanji bit back a moan as you sucked harshly, bringing your outstretched hand back to cup his pec. Small whines being the only thing to reward you.
"S-stop teasing, love." He was more flustered now. Perfect.
Bzzzz
Sanji froze, eyes wide. He breathed out a small "What the fuck?" watching with bated breath as you pulled yourself back up, a wicked grin on your features. A jolt of electricity shot through him as he felt a vibration against his neck.
You eyed him hungrily, slowly dragging the vibrator down his neck. The man beneath you was panting, eyes scrunched tight as you dragged the vibrator down to his chest. You circled a nipple with the vibrating tip, causing Sanji to jump. You bit back a moan.
"Look at me Sanji." You purred. A wave of arousal washed over you as he peered up at you with wide eyes. You languidly toyed with the vibrator, tickling your way down his stomach, the man beneath you squirming. "This okay?"
"Yeah." A whisper. You grinned.
"Good boy. Balance this for me, okay?"
The vibrator on his abdomen buzzed idly as you shuffled back. With a wicked glint in your eyes you trailed your hand downwards. Sanji accidentally bucked his hips when your fingers found his belt, making quick work of undoing the buckle. You paused, the man beneath you trying desperately to still. When you deemed him still enough you moved to opening his trousers, fighting your way through a button. You'd never really noticed that Sanji wore his pants higher up on his hips. It made sense, you realised, from a fighting point of view. Huh, you'd have to tag that away for future reference.
"I didn't expect you to have such a sexy happy trail. Gods, so coarse." You moaned, feeling your way down through his hair, You let your fingers lightly touch under his pants. Sanji squirmed. You cooed.
"What a good boy, I'll be taking this back, thank you." You purposefully tickled him as you took back the vibrator, staring at him through lidded eyes. Sanji felt himself freeze, knowing full well what you were planning to do.
Sanji felt an undignified groan escape him as he felt you press the vibrator to his clothed groin with featherlight pressure. You were killing him!
"Please do something (Name), you are driving me insane."
"Oh? More like this?" You feigned innocence, cupping both the vibrator and his bulge with one hand, and cranking the vibrator up with the other. You watched with perverse satisfaction as the man clenched his fists into your bedsheets. Good. With one hand you slipped the zipper down painfully slow. You made a show of sticking your hand through the opening and began palpating his clothed cock, making sure to squeeze every now and then.
The man below you began panting, trying to talk but instead babbling something incoherent. You laughed.
With the now intensified vibrator, you slipped it between his parted thighs, placing it directly at the apex. Sanji squealed at that, scrambling to move away.
"Too much?" You cooed, though a genuine questioning tone laid underneath. Looking up to survey his expression, you found him biting onto his hand to muffle his noises. He shook his head.
"Just unfamiliar." He willed his eyes open and tried to fix you with a glare. It failed miserably, and the man instead looked like he was going to cry.
Would it be so bad to make him cry?
You hummed as a way to acknowledge you saw him. Sanji managed to choke out a strangled, "You're not putting that in my ass."
The laugh that ripped from you was raucous and joyful. You playfully swatted his knee.
"I wasn't going to go anywhere near your ass!" You managed out through giggles. Sanji blushed. "Geez, getting ahead of yourself, aren't you?"
"Just hurry up and touch me." Sanji muttered. You giggled, withdrawing your hand. The man below you whined at the loss.
"Relax! Right now, I really just wanna blow you. That okay?"
"Y-yeah! Fuck, I mean, if you want to?"
"Really wanna. Can I put this against your balls? It'll feel good, promise?"
Sanji shuddered beneath you, the vulgarity of your words hitting him. You were looking at him with hopeful eyes, a far cry from what you were saying. He supposed he could always say no if he hated it. He nodded slowly.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay."
You squealed happily, hands flying up to try pulling down his pants. When they refused to budge you swatted at his thigh. Sanji let out a little yip, lifting his hips. You grinned wolfishly, tugging at the garment till it reached his mid thigh. You lightly trailed your hands up his thighs, tickling his inner thighs with your light touch. Sanji squirmed.
When your eyes met his pelvis you whistled lowly. "Now isn't that something? Definitely more than a mouthful. Didn't take you for a briefs kinda guy, to be honest."
Sanji clearly didn't like the tone he perceived from that. He snapped at you, face red. "They are boxer briefs, thank you! They offer the best support. Why am I even explaining this to you anyway? I shouldn't have to justify my underWEAR-"
Sanji's voice pitched high as you cupped him. You rubbed small circles, grinding your palm against him. "Relax! It makes sense, you don't want a ball popping out when you're doing those high kicks. Thought you'd be thankful I pointed out that and not the giant wet patch."
"Would you be quiet? I can feel myself going soft." Sanji whined. You laughed.
"That's not what I'm feeling sweetheart." As if on cue you felt his cock jump at the pet name. You grinned, swallowing the extra saliva that filled your mouth. "As fun as this panty chat is, I'd really like to unwrap my present now."
Sanji stared at you through lidded eyes as your thumbs hooked under his waistband, pulling lightly. He hissed at the feeling. With no real ceremony, you began peeling the fabric away from him. Eyes sparkling as his cock came into view. The head was red and angry, a clear representation at how frustrated he must feel. His cock was lithe, curved, and definitely long. You found that a fitting comparison to its owner.
"Fuck." You whispered. "I'm sorry sweetheart, you're gonna have to tell me if it's too much, ‘kay? I gotta suck you off."
Sanji barely got to respond before you were on him, hands squeezing him. Whatever he was going to say got cut off by a guttural moan. You pumped him a few times, coating his cock in his pre-cum. If Sanji was wriggly before, he was practically fucking your fist. You braced one hand on his hip.
"Bon Appetit."
You engulfed him, taking as much as you could into your mouth. A moan tore its way out of you as you tasted him. Gods it was so musky, you needed more. You sucked harshly, causing the man below you to squeal and scramble for purchase. You really weren't going easy on him.
The wet sounds that ensued were sinful, causing the both of you to feel embarrassed. You didn't care too much, needing to suck this man dry. You'd spent way too long thinking about this. You pumped what you couldn't fit in your mouth, laving your tongue on the underside of his cock. Sanji felt dizzy by the sensation, the heat in his groin growing. He couldn't help himself, hips bucking into your mouth. You gagged as he touched the back of your throat.
"Sorry. Sorry baby, feels too good." You hummed around his cock happily, causing Sanji to whine. "Baby, love, I'm not gonna last long, I promise I'm better than this."
You pulled off with a lewd pop, cooking a brow at him. A hoarse voice you didn't recognise as your own regarded him. "Y'perfect. Now calm down and cum in my mouth, can fuck me some other day."
Sanji whimpered as you resumed your ministrations, scrunching his eyes shut. Fuck, the pleasure was too much. He couldn't stop the way he lightly rocked his hips. He was so close. So close.
BZZZZZZZ
Ohoho. There was no way you'd forgotten what he'd agreed to. You firmly held the vibrating bullet against the back of his balls, resting on his perineum. Electricity coiled inside him, balls growing tight. Sanji honestly keened, a high whine escaping him. Oh shit that was...
Fuck. Too Much.
"(Name), I'm, oh fuck-"
Sanji tried to pry you off, embarrassed at the thought of cumming in your mouth. You growled around him, swallowing around him. Sanji moaned, hips delivering a final stutter.
He came. Hot seed spilling into your mouth and down your throat. Sanji's whole body shook. You gently licked at him, milking him through his orgasm. When you deemed the man thoroughly spent, you removed the bullet and pulled him out of your mouth. Sanji looked at you with frantic eyes.
"Spit that out!" He hissed, afraid to be heard. This was embarrassing. He hadn't even touched you yet, and here he was, trying to get you to get rid of his cum. Sanji felt himself grow light headed as he watched you swallow, your throat bobbing with the movement.
"You know we don't waste food Sanji. And how could I turn down such a treat?" You laughed, voice raspy.
Sanji whined. How dare you use his words against him! He felt awkward. You pulled his underwear back up, patting his hip.
"Lemme touch you!" He pleaded. You laughed. "No, really. Let me eat you out!"
You flushed beautifully. "Oh. Um. I don't think you want to do that!"
Sanji huffed. "I do! You're not gonna use that stupid toy, sit on my face, please darling."
You squeaked. "No! I'm not gonna sit on your f-face! And it's not stupid. Made you cum."
Sanji rolled his eyes, a blush high on his cheeks. "That's not hard when you're involved. Please?"
"I'm too heavy and I won't taste nice! N-no!" You scrambled to the other side of your bed while Sanji pulled his pants back up. His eyes softened.
"That's not true. I'm sure I don't taste good." He faltered when you shook your head. He tried to muster up his signature charm. "Oh, you're worried you're too addictive and I'll never leave you alone?"
That drew a laugh from you. Sanji smiled. "C'mon love? Can I...can I finger you at least? Really wanna touch you."
Your face was glowing red, eyes shifting away from him. "Oh. Um. I suppose that's okay."
Sanji leapt off the bed. "Good! Yes! Get comfy!" He watched as you settled where he'd been, clearly feeling embarrassed. You covered your stomach with your arms. Sanji frowned. "Love... You know that won't do."
"Ah. Sanji c'mon." You pleaded.
"Uh uh. You were so confident before. C'mon lay back. Just relax, I won't bite, unless you want me to?"
There was that cocky grin you found so endearing. With a sigh, you sunk back into the mattress, letting your hands fall to your side. When you nodded, Sanji took that as his cue.
Fervently he scrambled onto the bed, pinning you under him. He began peppering kisses all over your face, causing you to giggle. He was acting like an overexcited puppy. You captured his lips in another searing kiss. Sanji rested a hand on your waist, causing you to gasp. Sanji greedily took advantage of this, licking his way into your mouth. You whined. You heard Sanji groan, evident he could still taste himself.
He pulled back with a pop and you startled at the look he gave you. It was so full of love and warmth, lust evident. He gave you a wink, before he ducked down to start kissing you everywhere. Your non-existent collarbones. He sucked lightly over one of them. You squeaked. He kissed his way down your breasts, free hand groping your smple chest. Sanji grinned against your skin, pleased with the noises he was getting. He trailed both hands to your back, rubbing soothing circles. You sighed as he explored your back.
When you felt his practised fingers make quick work of your bra hooks you gasped, red faced. He pushed them out of the way, lightly clawing at your back. You felt like fainting when your strap started to fall. What if he was disgusted? Sanji felt your breath picking up.
"Oh my dear! Don't be scared. I'll take good care of you I promise! May I see them? I dream of them! You wouldn't deprive me of such a sight?"
You smiled at how cheesy he was. With a light cough you nodded. You wanted to cry at how gentle he was treating you, hands rubbing both your arms. You began to relax. Sanji grinned, eyes wild, as he pulled the straps down your arms, He gestured to the cups, wiggling his eyebrows. You laughed, nodding. He really knew how to ease the tension. Sanji looked awestruck as he pulled your bra away, discarding it off the bed.
"Wow."
Sanji's eyes were positively sparkling, You watched as he nodded, seemingly at nothing, face dangerously red. With shaking hands he reached up to cup your breasts. He let out a shuddering breath. You felt your weighty breasts being lifted, Sanji supporting them with a blissful smile. He bounced his hands lightly, watching as they jiggled.
"So hot. Better than I imagined."
"Yeah?" You tried not to sound too hopeful. Sanji grinned, squeezing experimentally. A cute whine ripped its way out of your throat, head lolling to the side. He was so gentle. You felt guilty for teasing him. "I'm sorry for teasing you. You're so cute you make me wanna make you blush."
Sanji stilled. "Oh. I...I don't mind. It's kinda hot. I'll get you back, don’t worry. Right now, wanna make you feel good."
You tried to push down the butterflies when Sanji kissed your tits as his hands reached your shorts. Embarrassment overcoming you, you buried your face in your hands as he popped open a button.
"Love? We can stop if it's too much?"
"No." You whined behind your hands. "Been a long time, and you're so hot. Don't want you to be disappointed.
"I'm flattered. You know I could never be disappointed (Name)."
Butterflies multiplied when he spoke your name. You nodded, wincing as he played with your zipper. With a sigh, you peeked through your hands. The breath that left you was airy and shaky.
"Okay."
Sanji shot you a dazzling grin. "Then hips up my love!"
You obeyed him, and watched as he dragged your shorts down, not stopping till they hung off one foot. With a shake of your foot the offending article hit the bed. Sanji gasped, cooing at you.
"Ah, your panties have little kittens on them, so cute."
You froze, face dangerously red. Sanji watched out of the corner of his eyes as you floundered beneath him, stuttering.
"I didn't know we were gonna...y'know? Wasn't like I wanted anyone to see 'em. It was uh....laundry day?" Your protests fell on deaf ears.
Sanji chuckled, eyes glinting dangerously. "It's cute. So cute. Can think of another pussy I'd like to see."
You swatted at him in embarrassment, he dodged you playfully.
"I understand why you enjoy teasing me so much. Your face is so cute, love. May I?"
You nodded, not trusting your voice. Sanji grinned. Stupid cook. The object of your affection studied you, clear he was savouring this. You squirmed. Sanji rested his hands on your plush hips.
"You're going to have to spread your legs sweetheart." Sanji bit his lip when you squeaked in response. "C'mon. Let me make you feel good."
Sanji watched, utterly enraptured as you shuffled, spreading your thighs apart. Your thighs looked so inviting, all he wanted to do was bury his face in there and lap at you like a man starving. But he'd respect your wishes, there was always next time. Eyes flicking upwards, he took into account how you weren't looking at him, eyes scrunched shut.
You startled when Sanji crawled between your legs, hands cradling your thighs. The touch tickled and burned, sending electricity buzzing through you straight to your core. Sanji slid a hand up your inner thigh, resting at mid thigh.
"Fuck." You heard him swear, voice full of awe. "You're so wet."
A squeal escaped you and you tried slamming your thighs shut, but Sanji had caught them, staring. You cracked an eye open and gasped, thighs shaking.
Sanji was practically drooling, biting his bottom lip. "You're SO wet..." He trailed off. You felt a hand gently hook your thigh onto his shoulder. He kissed the skin softly, relishing as you quivered under him. "Fuck. You gotta let me eat you next time."
Next Time. The thought made you lightheaded. You whined. Sanji soothed you, rubbing circles on your thigh. When you pried your eyes open you found the man staring directly in your eyes. You startled. Sanji maintained intense eye contact as you felt his knuckle run up your clothed slit. You muffled a shriek, blush returning tenfold. Sanji smiled, eyes turning back to your pussy. You shook as his fingers danced over you, pushing the fabric against you. When he caressed the area you moaned.
"As cute as these are, can I please take them off?" Sanji pleaded playfully.
"Please." You nodded.
You squirmed as he began pulling your panties down, hands tickling the skin uncovered.
"Okay baby, knees together." Sanji coached, picking your other leg up to join the one on his shoulder. You mewled at his gentleness, feeling him drag your underwear down. You tried angling your hips away from him, instead giving him a good view of your rear. "What a cute ass." He mused, continuing to trail the fabric to your feet. With nothing but gentleness, he slipped the underwear off you, balling the fabric up.
You were too busy trying to disappear and hide your nakedness from the man, so you didn't notice how he rubbed it between his fingers before stuffing them in his pockets. He'd make sure you didn't even realise they were missing. He salivated at the thought.
In the meantime you had clamped both hands over your sex. Sanji tutted at you. That wouldn't do. With a sigh he gripped your right leg, beginning to pry them apart. You shrieked, pointing your knees inwards.
"(Name)." Sanji warned. When you didn't respond he swatted lightly at your ass. He grinned when you rewarded him with a squeal, bucking your hips away from his hand and towards him. He'd file that away. Sanji sighed. "Darling please. I'll die if you don't show me that pretty pussy. I'm trying to be gentle, but knowing what's behind those hands, I want to wrench your thighs open."
Sanji watched you surreptitiously rub your thighs together. He cocked an eyebrow. So you were enjoying this. An over-dramatic sigh escaped him. He'd just have to deal with the consequences. Sure you could fight, but Sanji was stronger than you, and when he wrapped a hand under your thigh, thumb wrapping into the inside near your apex, you knew you were fucked.
"Darling. You can be a good girl and show me, or I can do it for you." When you continued squirming and stuttering Sanji tsked. "Then I'm sorry (Name). You can get me back later."
You squealed when he yanked your thighs apart, quickly slotting himself between your legs, rendering you unable to close them fully. If your face got any redder you'd faint, and it was a very likely possibility when you felt his hands circle your wrist. The switch to being more dominant was making your head spin. Sure, you adored submissive Sanji, but the idea that he was acting like this because he wanted to see you that badly ignited you.
"Sorry my love." He apologised before wrenching your hands back. You tried desperately to slap your thighs shut, squirming in his hold. All this did was rut your sex closer to him. You heard Sanji groan, causing you to go deathly still.
"F-fuck."
Fighting the tears in your eyes you avoided his eyes. Sanji breathed out a long sigh, the air hitting your sex. You whined.
"Holy fuck. Gorgeous."
You stared down at him. Sanji's eyes were glued to your pussy, pupils dilated. Anxious, you fiddled with your fingers. Sanji kept muttering praises, rubbing your thigh reassuringly.
Shame flooded you when you felt him spread you open with two fingers. A loud squelch rewarded the man, and he clearly enjoyed it.
"Oh fuck! Love, love, please?"
"Yeah." You breathed out. Sanji grinned up at you before turning his attention back to his prize. With his index and middle finger he parted your labia back open, whining at the wetness that greeted him. He gently prodded you with his thumb, causing you to jump and whine.
Sanji acted like a man possessed, thumb rubbing circles, gathering up your juices. He ground his thumb against your clit, causing you to moan and squirm against him. He pivoted his hand position so just his thumb was on you, rubbing sweet circles on the nub. Your body was abuzz with pleasure, clit throbbing.
"Here we go, my love. Tell me if you don't like it." His honeyed voice kissed your ears. All you could muster was an eager nod.
Thumb still stimulating your clitoris, you felt his pointer circle your opening. Pleasure overtook you, helping abate some of your nerves. The long digit dipped into you and you squeaked. Sanji took this as a good sign, and he slowly sunk the finger inside you, curling up at the end. When you big out a low moan Sanji knew that was the spot. He rubbed the rough spot gently, causing tears to spring to your eyes.
Sanji's movements grew clumsy, causing you to stare down at him. The sight that greeted you caused you to choke back a laugh. Sanji growled, crooking his finger and making you whine.
Sanji was deep in you with one hand, the other was struggling with your vibrator.
"How do you even turn this thing on?" He growled, grinding his thumb a little hard when you giggled.
"Twist the base. No, no the other way...There you go!"
Sanji withdrew his other hand, causing you to mourn the loss. He grinned up at you. "Here we go darling!"
You blushed as he spread you open again, hearing him sigh in awe. You bit back a moan when he pressed the vibrator against your clit. Sanji grinned at how you shook. With a cheeky smirk, he plunged a finger inside you, pumping in and out at a gentle rhythm. When you began squirming, Sanji took that as a sign to add another finger, making sure to crook them just right.
Sanji took you in. You were panting, moaning freely as he pleasured you. He watched mesmerised at how your chest heaved, your hands playing with your nipples, a hiss tearing from his throat. That was hot. He became more desperate to make you cum.
The vibrator cranked up in power, causing you to moan wantonly. Sanji crumpled himself against you, hand pumping furiously. The vibrator was firmly dancing against your clit. With his free hand Sanji slapped one of your hands away. You wanted to protest, but then he began sucking harshly at your tit. A whine echoed through the room when he bit down on the skin.
Your moans pitched up in tone and frequency as you reached your end. Sanji stared up at you, in awe of your reactions. He felt your thighs quiver, a wave of giddiness washing over him. He could do this all day if it meant you'd react like that. He resumed sucking and nibbling at your breasts, his ego inflating at the way you chanted his name. He liked this version of you, too caught up in pleasure to worry about how you looked, or how you sounded. Even if it drove him wild, he really loved when you were confident.
"There we go my love. Let go. So hot."
You had tears in your eyes, your hips rocking in time with his thrusts. "Oh Sanji...you're so good to me. Good boy." Your voice hitched at a particularly hard bite. "Oh! I-I'm gonna cum b-baby."
Sanji whined against your sweaty skin. "Cum for me (name), please love."
Stars burst behind your eyes as you reached your white hot peak. You clenched around his fingers, walls spasming. Sanji marvelled at how you threw your head back, brows knitted together. Your fingers clawed for purchase, one settling in his locks, the other scratching at his neck. Sanji groaned. You uttered a stuttered call of his name. Sanji felt his mouth go dry as you came, wet squelches reaching his ears, and watching as your back arched beautifully.
You fell back into the bed, completely spent. Sanji fumbled with the vibrator, throwing it aside when he couldn't turn it off, simultaneously removing his fingers gently, eyes blown wide at the cum decorating his digits. He couldn't stop himself, trying to sneakily guide his fingers to his mouth. You watched, mesmerised as he began licking the digits clean, humming in delight. A gasp tore its way from your throat. Sanji froze, fingers in his mouth.
"M'sorry." He mumbled around his fingers. "Really wanted to taste you."
"And?" You breathed out, eyes wide and inquisitive.
Sanji sucked them clean, then pulled the fingers from his mouth with a wet pop. You cringed at the lewd sound. "Oh love, it's exquisite."
He climbed his way on top of you, collapsing against your chest with a huff, earning a giggle from you. You placed a kiss into his hair. Sanji snuggled deeper, trying to crush you in a hug. Happily, you felt him shiver as you drew circles on his bare back. The small grunt he made causing a languid grin to spread across your face.
"Was that okay?" The tentative voice you spoke with sounded foreign to you. Sanji laughed, kissing your skin.
"More than okay. Would you let me make love to you when I'm hard again?"
Sanji preened at the delighted sound that rewarded him. "I would love that." You paused. "Hey Sanji?"
The tired man hummed, feeling you fiddle with his hair with one hand, the other splayed on his back. You were silent. He tilted his head up, peering up at you through heavy lashes. Your eyes were big and nervous.
"I kinda...like you, you know? Like...love you."
You felt the breath knocked from your lungs at the dazzling grin that spread across his face. He pushed himself up, pulling his body upwards so he could meet your eyes.
"Yeah?" He breathed. You nodded. Sanji captured you in another kiss. "Love you too my sweet." You grinned, causing the man above you to kiss you repeatedly. You pulled back cheekily.
"Even liked the vibrator?" Sanji scowled but nodded faintly. You giggled, dropping your voice low. "You know you can get one that goes around your cock? Stops you from cumming without permission."
A soft whine ripped from Sanji's throat as he stilled, burying his face in your neck. You raised a brow.
"Are you fucking hard again?"
"Sorry darling."
#sanji x reader#one piece x reader#black leg sanji x reader#vinsmoke sanji x reader#one piece smut#lmao.......i am currently sick af so this is what we're doing i guess...#smut#[paris hilton voice] can i have 5 more of these little blonde bitches#you cant tell me this man wouldnt go WILD over a cockring#i didnt realise how many words there were ;-; bro wtf
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Love the thought of Leo just casually being well traveled to absurd degrees. Like one day they’re facing their new Big Bad of the year and like, Draxum or whoever says that the key to their fight is located somewhere in, like, Latvia or some place, but no one knows where to start.
Then Leo’s like “oh I know a place” and when asked how the heck he could know of one it smash cuts to Leo falling through the ceiling of said place due to a portal mishap.
Also love the idea of Leo, being as accidentally (and then later, purposefully) well traveled as he is, sometimes taking his family on outings to different places all over, maybe to some new Yokai spots he found along the way.
In these places, Leo 100% lets his bros get scammed by tourist traps.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#bro was so excited about buying stuff that he didn’t realize it was a scam until too late#so now he’s super sus of all that BUT super willing to laugh at his fam for making the same mistake#anyway yeah I love Leo being well traveled because it honestly makes sense? why NOT use your teleportation to travel if you can do it fast#all his portal mishaps in the series as well as that time he accidentally went to Paris (+ once a diff dimension?) live in my head rent free#Leo destroying the stall of some random family’s restaurant in Paraguay and having to work it off the rest of the summer#he’s just like ‘hey guys I’m heading out’ but doesn’t mention it’s for a part time job in a different country#he only knows like English and Spanish BUT he’s picked up on a lot of other languages too due to his misadventures#tho he mostly knows a whole lot of various swear words#leo about to tease donnie for getting banned from witch town only to remember HE’S banned from a place in Turkey: 😬#he keeps trying to find where he accidentally put his brothers in Tahiti but he can’t find it and he’s so salty about it lol
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Dumbass thought but shizun (sy) x Tony the tiger
The Tiger Demon Lord is here to negotiate with Junshang's empress (人❛▽^) ~ ☆✧˖° It's sure to go 𝔾ℝℝℝℝℝ𝔼𝔸𝕋 °˖✧`☆
#just be glad he turned down the wonder bread one sqq!#svsss#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#sqq#sqh#tony the tiger#......what a tag#anon. i have... questions.#however i will admit that if any world can make allowance for pure insanity it is airplane-bro's shitty webnovel#it was a slow month! they were between arcs! a guy's gotta eat!!! so he wrote a couple hundred words for a weird commission!#it's not like he EXPECTED it to get thrown at them like a wifeplot!!! give him a break!!!!!
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guys stop the hate </3
#we all have one thing in common adn thats creek is purple#im bias actually i only like evil creek#but in the words of rock kinf trash be whatever you wanna be or whatever he says#i have a sunburn fever#trolls#creek trolls#stop the hate bro creek is creek#holy fuck i just thought of something#i know whats gonna bring this fandom together
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not to ramble about iwtv but i think a lot of people who balk at the unsavory parts of gothic fiction are people who have either 1) never truly had to face an onslaught of the macabre in their own life 2) have not actually sat with the discomfort of the darker parts of existence or simply not learned or had to learn how to process truly twisted emotions within themselves. and i bring this up in relation to iwtv because i see a lot of people pointing out 'problematic' parts of the book or bemoaning which ships are more or less toxic. and it's like it's a cow farm there's gonna be cows on the cow farm.
yeah anne rice wrote some weird shit and some of it is definitely unnecessary, most of those elements were corrected in the show. but a lot of it is just gothic fiction. you don't get to have sexy vampires, romanticism and tortured yearning without the inappropriate attachments, the true face of grief and the blurred lines between violence and eroticism which has evoked great interest in humans for centuries.
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#i saw a lot of people on tiktok complaining about how claudia is described in the books#and when i started reading i expected something way worse#and it was like...nothing#it's uncomfortable at points but that is...the enTIRE PREMISE#she's not supposed to exist like that#they trapped an eternal soul in an unfinished body and it's wrong and inappropriate#but alSO i think some ppl just have lost understanding for descriptive language in gothic text#bc modern publishing often pushes for more basic sentence structures and less flowery prose#so when ppl read shit that does have the more classic style and is VERY descriptive w strong words they're like whAt#and it's like bro it's poetic u gotta be less literal
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someone talk with me about an AU where delores is a real girl who somehow survived the initial apocalypse and spends it growing old with five and keeping him sane
someone talk with me about delores being five’s age when he discovers her body in the rubble and thinks she’s dead before he notices the small rise and fall of her chest before he pulls her out and desperately tries to help her breathe normally again and watches the life fill her eyes with tears in his own that he’s finally no longer alone
someone talk with me about delores being an only child to parents who she wasn’t close with leading her to become dependent on herself until she meets five and learns to trust other people before finding out about his huge family and doing everything in her power to help him not only because she cares about him and wants him to be happy but also because she wants to experience the family she’s never had
someone talk with me about how delores never had powers but survived for the 40+ years in the apocalyptic wasteland of the future due to her seriously genius mind (and five’s help) and lives to help five figure out how to save his family
someone talk with me about young five and delores searching for anything they can find to survive before they stumble upon a half-broken mannequin with a surprisingly intact polka-dotted blouse that five says would suit her so she puts it on out of boredom from looking for materials before five looks at her with the most genuine, in-love eyes she’s ever seen and she decides to keep it just for him
someone talk with me about five always making sure delores has a comfortable place to sleep, to rest, to eat, etc
someone talk with me about five explaining his childhood so nonchalantly one day once he realizes that he can trust delores to her surprise, and she asks why he suddenly had the strength to tell her and he looks her in the eyes and says “believe it or not, you’re stuck with me, and i’m stuck with you, and i want you to know who i am when we’re kicking this apocalypse in the ass”
someone talk with me about teenage five teaching teenage delores how to defend herself with the training he was given during his childhood but reassuring her that he’ll always be there to protect her if something were to happen (to which she reminds him that she appreciates it, but knows she can defend herself with the spite and sheer willpower she has to survive)
someone talk with me about five and delores having a makeshift wedding and five’s vows being along the lines of “even if the rest of the world was alive, i don’t think i could ever hope to find someone that makes me as truly happy as you do, and i will be eternally grateful that of anyone i could get stuck in this goddamn apocalypse with, it was always you, and it will always be you”
someone talk with me about the handler showing up from the commission to recruit five as a temporal assassin and delores as a case worker because they’re both dangerously smart and incredible at surviving in harsh conditions (also, the handler approached them separately to see where their loyalties lied and they both firmly explained they wouldn’t go anywhere without the other)
someone talk with me about delores getting fed up with the handler repeatedly making moves on five despite him clearly being uncomfortable until it bubbles to a climax and she punches her square in the jaw, which results in an ER trip and zero regret (plus five falling even harder in love with the woman who endlessly sticks up for him)
someone talk with me about five and delores plotting an escape plan to get back to 2019 which all goes well, except five had once again messed up the math (or so he thought) and he and delores are placed back in their 13 year-old bodies, but she confesses that she doesn’t mind seeing the boy she fell in love with all those years ago once again
someone talk with me about delores learning to trust and love the hargreeves just as much as five, as they learn to love and trust her just as much
someone talk with me about five always keeping track of dates and specifically remembering the exact times of significant events for himself and delores, like the moment she looked at him for the first time, the moment he knew he was in love with her, and the moment they decided they were going to stop at nothing to keep each other alive and stop the world from ending
someone talk with me about five and delores, the 58 year-old couple that they are, snuggling up on elliot’s couch together because they can’t fall asleep without the other one there to remind them that they’re safe and out of harm’s way (mostly)
someone talk with me about how delores has never been the type to step down, and she continues to stand her ground and be brutally honest when shes upset or wants five to listen to her, and he admires her bluntness (and frankly, needs it) due to his impatience and expectations of honesty at all times
someone talk with me about delores knowing exactly when five needs his time alone and stepping away to help his siblings as much as she possibly can, usually by encouragement or (again) brutal honesty hidden behind a kind and genuine smile
someone talk with me about five reminding delores of his love for her whenever it’s too quiet or he thinks she’s gone too long without him showing it, in every way he can think of, like letting her know that he would’ve lost his mind in the apocalypse without her (which.. he kind of did?), finding little things that remind him of her and bringing them to her, and holding her hand whenever he sees frustration or discomfort bubbling behind her eyes
#ok i know there’s probably some fics about human delores so please if u know of any lmk!! i need#it is so unfair that i have no idea how to write#guys if i could write… oh boy#i would have tons of 100k word multi chapter fics out at all times#it’s ridiculous#if i could write this shit#omfg i can’t even explain how much i’d love to be able to write this shit bro#i need this to be a fic and i need to be able to read 50 chapters of it right now in this moment#i’m losing my mind over them. for the love of god someone save me#please please please add onto this!!!!!! i love thinking about them#please please please if anyone wants to write about this do it omfg#you have no idea how much i’d eat that shit up#i’m probably going to add to this#i have so many ideas about them#five and delores…. my beloved#laur rambles#laur says stuff#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#hargreeves siblings#delores#tua delores#five x delores#tua dolores#dolores#five x dolores#number five#tua five
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I need to write more Hopeless Romantic Mario. It’s a headcanon I’ve long held for him, but I’ve got to explore and lean into it more.
Mario, as a child, unironically loving sappy fairytales and princess movies because he loves imagining himself in the role of the prince, a dashing hero who always comes through for his dearest.
Mario, as a teenager, never really getting into the dating scene, if he dates at all; he’s convinced that The Universe will give him A Sign when he meets The One, and he’s perfectly happy to daydream and make plans for how he’s gonna be the best partner ever while he waits.
(Luigi trying to lovingly suggest that maybe The Universe is expecting Mario to put in a little bit of leg work too, because for how down-to-earth his brother normally is, he’s got this weird holdover about things like soulmates and destiny and he could be waiting ‘til the day he dies if no one else talks sense into him.)
Mario, as an adult, falling into some strange storybook-looking world and meeting a particular princess, and oh wow, his heart’s never raced so hard just by looking at someone. And though he’s instantly smitten with her, he cares less about sweeping her off of her feet and more about learning who she is, what drives her, what her favorite foods are, where her mind wanders off to when she’s bored or stressed.
Mario, who has always been in love with the idea of being in love, learning firsthand that romance can be just as mundane as it is magical — and coming to cherish that mundanity above all else, because it’s the little moments that teach him more about her, about himself, about them, and it’s all just so priceless.
Just! Hopeless Romantic Mario who remains a hopeless romantic all his life and it works out beautifully for him! Hear me out!
#my sleepytime meds are kicking in so I might delete this come morning 😅#apologies if it’s a bit incoherent!! I have many feelings and I’m too eepy to properly put them into words#super mario bros#smb#mareach#mario x peach#mario#princess peach
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GUYS THE CONCEPT PHOTIS IM DEAD OMFG SOFHDU!*%%^ I LOVE TJEM SO FUCKING KUCH THEYRE SO PRETTY OMFG OMG OMG OMG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
#changing everything I own to these#THERES SO KUCH TO SAY I HAVE NO WORDS THOUGH#FRECKLES SOOBIN#NAKED BACK SOOBIN ??!&€$#TAEHYUNS BLUSH#HUENING KAIII 😭😭😭 HES SO SUITS THUS#HIM WITH THE DOG AND HIM WRITING MUSIC 😭😭😭#ANGEL KAI#YEONJUNS HAIR ?!!!#I NEED THAT MORE#HIM WITH THE CAT#IT LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM#AND BEOMGYSUDBDJDJ#DOTN GET ME STARTED ON BEOMGYU#I WAS IN AWE BRO#HIS FACE#HOW CAN HE EVEN EXIST#IM SO SOFT RN I WISH THEY WERE ALL MY BFS ☹️☹️☹️☹️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#tubatu !<3#txt !!!
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