#I have no illusions about how ridiculous his build is but it's also full of holes? su/rtr is leagues worse because you can't safely approach
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A heart full of pity (part 2)
Masterlist Part 1
Part 3 Part 4 (final)
Angst, hurt/comfort
Pairing: Nik x unnamed afab OC
Summary: He wishes there was another way to make her not give up and fight on. He wishes, he could make it better. But there are habits, that proved being effective. Habits and patterns that make him harm even those, he deeply cares about
TW: Mention of physical injury (burns). Inaccurate description of military operations. Swearing. Mental abuse (manipulation. none of characters is left happy with it.)
Authors note: I still don't try to praise Russian culture. This time I tried to show, how FSB background can make someone cold, unsettling even cruel in a way. FSB in real life is still bad. Nikolai is a unique character, he does not represent any realities of life in Russia or work in the FSB. I don't romanticize Russia or FSB in real life. This is just fiction. I don't intend to harm anyone with it.
Thanks: @homicidal-slvt is still an absolutely incredible person, who helped me start this all. But there is also @sofasoap who created Lastochka series. If you have time for only ONE work to read today - please go and read Lastochka.
She woke up in another life, distant and long forgotten. The light shone even through her closed eyelids, turning the darkness into a bright red. Some familiar scent tingled her nose, muffled but also strangely familiar sounds echoed somewhere deep in the flat. It was as if she was again just twelve, caught up cold and had to stay home. No school for her today, no worries - just a slow lazy morning, loads of tea with honey and lemon, and if she's lucky enough to have a fever - unlimited raspberry jam. Her peaceful slumber was distracted only by a strange pulling sensation, sending waves of pain from her ankles along both sides of the hips to her waist. But she yet couldn't decide if the pain was worth of any worry: it wasn't that bad anyway.
That was until she heard a soft rumbling voice from somewhere above. “I like it when you smile.” And just like that the illusion is gone: she gradually recalls everything, that happened prior. Now, when her mind traced all the way back to the reason behind the pain - it washes over her body again, making her wince, opening her eyes. “My oh my… and I remember times, when women kept happy expressions, seeing me beside their beds.” Nik tilts his head and raises eyebrows. “How many of them were in my condition?” She watches him rise, move the stool to the bed, and leave the room.
“None that I can recall…” He comes back in a minute with a lightly steaming bowl. “So you say, if it wasn't for your condition, you'd be beaming?” “I say…” She slowly rises on a bed with Niks help. “If it wasn't for my condition - I wouldn't end up in this bed.” “Ouch. Breaking my heart right there.” Nikolai chuckles softly. Of course, he is joking deliberately, and it's a good sign, she reacts. Although her motions are slow and shaky - she manages to eat almost the whole bowl, so he can give her ‘the desert’, which consists of a good pile of analgesics. “How much time do I have?” She doesn't need to explain any further - Nik knows exactly what she's referring to. “I've talked to Price this morning, you have about an hour. And… the whole operation is just your call now. I'm ready whenever you are.” Her face changes as if she's just stumbled upon something, hit against an invisible wall. She closes her eyes, slowly breathes in and answers, ‘don't be ridiculous. I'm done for. I'll admit, I've fucked up, and he'll send someone better to lead the whole thing’. Nikolai gives her a heavy long look. Suddenly, all the jokes and playfulness are drenched from the room. She feels smothered with a guilt building up inside and can't make herself look back him in the eyes. “I'm sorry in advance.” Nik leaves her wondering, what was he actually meaning. After some time, he brings a big mirror from the hallway. It's covered with dust and has a few chips on the edges. She tries to find out, what is he up to, but he exits the room once again and comes back with another mirror - a much smaller one, that he gives her.
“I was wondering, why did they leave us be?” Nikolai gently guides her to rise and sit on the edge of the bed, facing him. It doesn't happen in one swift motion, because her wounds are still fresh, so he proceeds “We were such an easy target, when this all happened, it must have pained them to not hit us…” As Nik speaks, she leans on his shoulder and slowly straightens her back, finally meeting his gaze fixed on something behind her. “And as much as I want to believe, It's because they don't want to become my personal targets, I must admit - their reasoning goes far beyond that.” He tucks under the bandages covering her torso and starts undoing them gently. “Nikolai, don't bother, I can change those by my-” He cuts her out by just glancing down in her eyes. His gaze is cold, distant. “Sit still for me and listen. Those bastards put Molotovs in children hands not to end you.” Nik reveals her bare back from under layers of the bandage and guides a small mirror in her hands so that she can see every detail of what exactly she now looks like. “They wanted to make a point, send Price a clear message. ‘Mess with us and this is what happens. You are powerless here, your people are nothing but meat to be roasted. We'll make them suffer so hard, they'll forget, who they were, they'll return to you broken only for you to blame yourself for that. It will hurt even to glance at them’. Now, as I said, it's your call. But you should ask yourself if their message is to be delivered.” She listens to him, seeming calm, not tearing her eyes from a little mirror. But Nikolai knows very well, what his words are doing to her: her heartbeat rose, her pupils slowly widen. It isn't the first time he has to manipulate someone, but this time it leaves him with such an disgusting aftertaste, that he is genuinely grateful when she asks him to leave her alone for the call.
Out on the street, he desperately searches for anything to distract himself: first, he checks the backyard of the house where they took refuge, then leaves it, blends with the crowd and wanders forward aimlessly. It's strange, he used to manage it much easier, but now he had a heavy heart. It was a really long time, since he felt that bad for hurting someone. Was it in her interest? Probably. Was it worth it? That he would find out later. Would he do such a thing to her ever again? Not even if she begs him to.
Nikolai keeps roaming around, his mind is fogged, but his body seems to find ways across the town automatically. In a couple of hours he finds himself leaning against the door of their flat, looking down on a small bag of tangerines, which he brought for some reason. He questions himself, what was his idea behind that. “Hey, I know, you are down, in pain and you can't leave a bed. And it was cruel to say all the things, I have, but I needed you to not give up on this mission, and I only had this one shot to make things right. Anyway, here are some tangerines, please don't hate me”? Nik winces of a mere thought of such an explanation.
He leaves a bag on the kitchen counter and heads to the bedroom. It is silent there, rare sunbeams are swaying and flickering along the faded wallpaper above the bed. She scribbles something frantically in a little notebook and doesn't even look at him, until he gets down to meet her gaze. “We have two weeks. I've convinced Price, we can pull this through.” She knows what Nikolai was hoping to hear and doesn't make him wait for it, but he doesn't leave right after he got the news. “Prosti*.” He reaches out to her, but his hand freezes as she answers. “You did the right thing, so no hard feelings, Nik.” She smiles, but her gaze is hollow, lacking of any emotion. He wishes, she instead slapped him in the face, shouted at him or at least told him go fuck himself for being like that to her - at this point anything would be better than her empty eyes and fake smile.
For a first couple of days, she is working on a plan constantly, not leaving her bed. Nikolai practically has to drag notebooks, printed charts and maps out of her hands every night just to make her sleep a bit. He still helped her here and there with bandages, cooked for her, and just tried to always be somewhere around in case she needed him. But little by little her strength returns, and the movements cause less and less pain.
One evening, Nik is sitting in the living room, half asleep to the blaring of the TV, when he hears shuffling footsteps behind. She comes in holding notes in one hand and a pencil in the other and sits down on the couch next to him. Nikolai immediately reaches for the remote control to turn off the TV, but she stops him. "Let it mumble. I don't understand the language anyway, so it doesn't distract me." She looks over her notes for a while, then sets them down on the coffee table and tries to concentrate on a show instead, constantly shifting her weight, trying to get into a position where her back wouldn't touch the back of the couch. He watches her for a while, and then in one motion he puts her legs over his knees, so she leans sideways on the back of the couch. “Better?” She smiles at his question. ”This way I'm going to break my neck trying to enjoy what ever is going on there.” Nik chuckles, extending one arm and cradling her lightly, so that she could rest her head on his shoulder and watch the show in peace. “Stop acting like a piece of furniture. You are not a cushion to rest on.” Her voice is sleepy. “I was aiming more for acting like a gentleman. And your head doesn't turn me into a pillow.” They keep watching the TV in silence for some time, but then Nik starts explaining her, what is going on and why the audience is laughing. At some point, he looks down and meets her gaze. “Thank you, Nik.” She didn't look away and, noticing his puzzled expression, added. “For saving my useless ass.”
“Still trying to be a gentleman here, little one… So you are not dragging me into commenting on your ass.”
***
She towers over the table, dragging fingers down a map and cursing under her breath. Line after line, she draws invisible ornaments along the streets. But it seems that every path keeps failing her. Nikolai understands, it's not safe to interrupt her right now, but he can't stand another minute of her desperation. “Show me where are we stuck.” He leans down to the table besides her. “It's not that I practically have to orchestrate a street riot here. It's that there are just the two of us.” She irritably touches the tip of her pencil to several intersections. "I'm barely moving, I won't have time to intercept them in these places. And you can't do it alone." Nick covers his face with hands and hisses. "C`mere." He takes her hand and leads her to a chair. "Sit down. And please listen to me." She limply sinks to the edge of the seat, Nikolai leans closer. “Price sent me to help you, not because of my pretty eyes. He said you needed a fixer, remember? Well, great news: you have a one now. I’ll get you anything you need, arrange any meeting. You need people? I'll gather you a fucking army. Need arms? Name it and I'll have it wrapped in a gift paper for you by the morning. Need to burn this nest of filth? I'll get you matches. Now stop thinking about what we are lacking and use me for gods’ sake!” His deep, rumbling voice sounds menacing: it's high time she found a place for him in this operation. “Tell me then, fixer…” A small, vague smile appears on her lips. “Are you up for a ride?’
***
This is yet one of the strangest scoutings, he has ever taken part in. Their car creeps in silence along the central streets past dark windows. The city has long fallen asleep, and at this late hour the two of them do not meet anyone on the streets. She occasionally taps his shoulder - a sign to stop the car. Then she exits on the street, claps her hands loudly for a few times and stands there still, listening to the echoes. But it didn't bother Nikolai, since every time she returned with a satisfied grin. When they are back at home, curiosity gets the better of him. “What sort of gig are you planning?” “A little song for my fixer to sing along. Don't worry, I'll take you on a soundcheck.”
Days and nights of preparation followed. They hardly saw each other: Nikolai gathered reliable people, prepared locations, and she kept working on her putting together mechanisms, mixing substances and correcting their plan.
***
Nik wakes her up in the middle of the night before the operation. They silently drink coffee in the kitchen, get ready and leave for the improvised intel center, he arranged for her to lead the operation from.
“Nikolai, this hardly fits the definition of a secluded place, away from prying eyes.” She looks around the spacious, empty room, with a panoramic view of the city center. In other circumstances, she wouldn't be bothered by working in an unfinished skyscraper in the center of the city. But this building is literally in full view of everybody. “Saved the best seat for you. Besides, you know what they say: the best place to hide something is in plain sight.” Nik helps her to arrange remote controls and checks the room once more. Despite still having troubles moving around much and suffering from pains, she looks surprisingly content, walking along a huge window.
“I'm leaving you my jacket in case it gets too cold.” She didn't answer, so Nikolai comes closer. “You ok?” Something disturbingly jolly flickers deep in her eyes. Something unkind. Something sadly familiar to him after many battles. “I'm fine. Go, we have a nest to burn there.” “Just promise me to sit here and don't get reckless, ok? I want to come here, when it's all over and find you right in this room, safe and sound” He lightly pats her shoulder, trying to get any answer.
“I'll be safe and sound, that's a promise.”
***
From the outside, it might look like a pure chaos: angry shouts, tossed stones flying forward, an irritated crowd growing every minute. But a few people in the crowd know that what is happening on the street isn't the result of a combination of random circumstances. This is a trap set by the hands of an invisible hunter, snares placed in the path of prey. An invitation and a dare.
Nikolai isn't sure that the 'crackers' would have the desired effect, and gradually rounds the perimeter of the crowd like a shepherd. But when the first one goes off behind him with a deafening crack, his first instinct, overtaking common sense, is to duck. A series of loud pops really resemble the echo of shots. His people in the crowd, knowing that this was a signal for them, hurry, dragging the crowd forward with them. Every time the crowd reaches a new intersection, another batch of crackers drives people in the right direction. The first rumors that civilians were being shot at spread almost instantly. Nik couldn't help but grin at the ideal timing and effect her little sound traps had on the crowd. In a way, this really feels like a song. A quite sinister one, but it still reminded him, they are together in this.
When the crowd rounds up the building, that she and Nik called ‘the nest’ - he knows exactly what is she doing right now. Forehead pressed to a cold window, fingers clasping around her elbow in anticipation, eyes glued to an outline of the building, he is standing in front of. He can swear on his life, he almost feels her pulse picking up, her lips forming silent pleads. “Come on, come on…”
Her planing almost didn't leave him any job until now. Angry crowds gathered around the fence, blocked surrounding streets, raised the tension to the point of no return. All Nik and his people are left to do is just to wait patiently, till civilians distract the security. But once it actually happens, he feels his heart rushing. He can finally break in, take place in the game, she tinkered so intricately. Nikolai takes one last look at the skyscraper darkening in the distance and smiles as he passes the fence and disappears into the shadows of the building.
“Eto dlya tebya. Smotri, moya khoroshaya.*”
***
She doesn't celebrate too early, when some footsteps echo in the back of the stairwell. It could be him, could be anyone else as well. While the sound is still far, she sits down on a chair facing the only entrance to the room and cocks the trigger. Her position is open, vulnerable - Price would kill her by himself if he has ever seen her like that. But at the end of this day, that seemed to last forever, she is powerless: her limbs are trembling, her mind is fogged. She was clearly not in the right condition to lead the operation.
Nikolai finds her clutching his jacket to her chest with one hand and holding the entrance to the room at gunpoint with the other. At this point she can't even sit straight and he feels sorry. He stops and lifts both hands.
“Eto ya, ne perezhivai.*” His voice makes her loudly exhale and slowly lower the gun. She bends over and buries her face in the heavy folds of his jacket for a few moments. His hand covers her back, careful enough to not touch the blisters formed on the scorched skin.
Nik gives her time to calm down and doesn't speak till she lifts her face once again to him. “Are we happy?” To have him back in one piece can already be counted as a success, but she needs to make sure, the mission is not failed this time.
“Oh, you don't have an idea…” Nikolai smiles enigmatically and hands her a folder. "You closed that jar of spiders and shook it so well that they began to rip off each other's heads. The main gift for the captain is on the way, and this is a small bonus. We'll give it to him personally."
She quickly looks through the folder and her eyes slowly widen. “Nik… Did you read it? Do you know what it means?..”
“M-hhm, the plot is fun, but overall style… not to my liking.” He says this with a completely deadpan face and sinks to the floor by her chair, quietly relieved that she, albeit silently, is laughing at his joke. “Anyway,” he adds, “What do you think: a red or a golden one?”
“W-what?” She stops reading and looks back at him, as he pulls out two dusty cheap plastic ribbons tied in bows: one red and the other - golden. “Wanna bring Price that fancy gift? Might as well pack it.” She looks from the ribbons, he put in her free hand, to his face. “Considering the specifics of our team… red would be somewhat vulgar, Nikolai.” He closes eyes, leans his forehead against her knee and his shoulders shake with muttered laughter. “You have a point there, little one. God, it reminded me of an old dumb joke, they've told us back when I've worked in Copenhagen.” Nik cuts himself off, understanding, that she probably won't find it as funny, but she encourages him to go on. “Ok, so, a tourist from the USA walks down the street in Moscow. He looks around and doesn't notice a huge hole right on his path. Naturally, he falls down. A policeman pulls him out and the tourist asks why they didn’t surround the pit with a red tape, or at least didn’t mark it with little flags. The policeman answers him: ‘Comrade, when did you cross the border of the Soviet Union - did you see those freaking huge red flags?’”
For some time she just sits there and watches him, but after a few very long moments, she leans down, cups his face smeared with dust and speaks deeply serious. “This is the worst joke, please never tell it to anybody.” And before he finds the right words to answer her - she busts out laughing, hugging him tightly. There is so much in her embrace: highly-strung nerves, hidden pain and sorrow, untold fears - so many things, one shouldn't contain in an embrace. But Nik doesn't mind it at all as long as it makes her burden bearable: in fact, he is happy to be there for her.
*Prosti. (Russian) - Forgive me, please.
*Eto dlya tebya. Smotri, moya khoroshaya. (Russian) - This is for you. Look, my dear.
*Eto ya, ne perezhivai. (Russian) - Don't worry, it's me.
#cod#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod mv2#cod x reader#cod fanfic#call of duty mw2#call of duty#mw2 x reader#modern warfare 2#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mwii#mw2 fanfic#cod nikolai#nikolai cod#nikolai x you#cod x oc#nikolai x reader
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now that we know caineghis’ statline (47|37|23|37|30)I think that it’s safe to say that he’s not going to be nearly as awful as his base kit made him seem to be.
like yeah he’s not going to be super fun to face and I’m not going to pretend that he’s going to be easy to deal with but there are ways to get around his strengths beyond “let him attack you” and “use a range 1 unit”. He has no immediate answer to charged specials (either from your own team support or through charges obtained by dealing with his teammates), combat boosts, debuffs, non-blade bonus damage (wrath, wo dao, giga excalibur, light’s brand, etc.), AoE damage, or eff. against armored weapons and any changes made to his build will create some other hole in his seemingly impenetrable armor through which you can now reach in and tear him apart. It’s a little different in the arena because at high-level play you’re all but required to get kills through bonus units if you want to do well, but outside of that your teams shouldn’t be relying on a single method to get kills in the first place.
this happens every time intsys releases a colorless unit that’s even remotely not mediocre. you couldn’t rock-paper-scissors your way through brave lyn and you couldn’t do it through brave veronica and you couldn’t do it through duma and you won’t be able to do to get through caineghis so it’s, once again, on you to find a strategy that will work.
#I have no illusions about how ridiculous his build is but it's also full of holes? su/rtr is leagues worse because you can't safely approach#at neutral he hits 41(+8)/34(+8) for defense (ONLY!) during player phase and that's nothing we haven't already seen before#and if you have an enemy phase unit he's probably going to lose the matchup b/c *neither of you* get wta#the biggest boon towards most built-in dc/cc units is the ability to get wta-based kills during player phase (see: har/din and bhe/ctor)#yeah he hits 51 attack but he's also not getting a +20% multiplier unlike most units#and he won't double you unless he sacrifices the ability to (consistently) double you during enemy phase#notice the common trend with all the Really Strong colorless units? none are infantry
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Touchdown
*gif not mine, credit goes to the owner*
I just want to take a moment to say thank you for the love on my last fic! It made my lil ole heart swell to see that peopled enjoyed it enough to leave a like or reblog.
This is just something special I had in my arsenal that I wrote for a friend a few months ago. I touched it up a bit and added a few things here and there. It all started when we were talking about how much we loved when Chris' accent got heavier after he'd been drinking, and well, I couldn't help myself lol. I hope you enjoy the fluff! xoxo
I apologize for any grammatical errors, I tried to proof-read but am also a little exhausted lol.
Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Word Count: 2844
Warnings: I don't think there's anyway? Mentions of being drunk/drinking alcohol, cursing, and illusions to sexy times, but that's about it.
You hadn’t noticed how furiously your knee was bouncing up and down until the person sitting next to you on the subway got up to move seats once the train squealed to a stop. You sighed and ran your hands down the front of your thighs. Normally being a little late didn’t bother you as much, but tonight you were meeting him.
You flipped your wrist over to check your watch. 8:30pm. In all honesty, it had probably been only thirty seconds later than when you checked it the last time. Another deep sigh escaped from your lips as you started to become hyper aware of the train remaining still at the current stop. What could possibly be taking so long? You knew he wouldn’t care if you were running late, but the time the two of you had together already felt so minuscule. You wanted to capitalize on every second you could.
The train began moving again and you slumped back into your seat, feeling only a small amount of relief. It was becoming painfully apparent that you needed to try and relax. You could feel the sweat building up on your body, the sting on your palms from where your fingernails were pressing in with a vengeance moments ago, and you could hear your heart thumping in your ears. Your hand dug around in your purse for a few moments before finding the small case you were looking for. Opening it, you slipped your headphones into your ears and let your head rest on the window behind you as music intertwined with your thoughts.
Once upon a time, you made fun of people who decided to go to grad school. What kind of a clown would spend thousands of MORE dollars and go BACK to school?? Not to mention the stress of the assignments, the due dates - it was not for you...or so you thought.
Now here you are, a regular booboo the fool.
NYU’s graduate program for design and merchandising wasn’t necessarily part of your 5-year plan, but when the opportunity landed in front of you it was difficult to pass up. NYU was a school you had only dreamt of attending back in high school. When you were a senior in high school you were able to tour the campus and fell in love immediately. Hours upon hours were spent researching grants, scholarships, and all sorts of ways to try to make it happen. However, the dream ended as most teenage dreams do - crushed. There was no way you or your parents could afford the loans that it would surely wrack up to attend the out of state university, and there was no way you could ask your parents take on that kind of debt just so you could go to college. UMass was the way to go - close to home and familiar. Not to mention you were able to obtain several scholarships and grants that helped bring down the cost tremendously. Little did you know, boring ole UMass would bring you one of the most important things in your life.
Applying for graduate school wasn’t an easy decision and one you couldn’t really take all the credit for. A smile crept across your face as you reminisced on the night you nervously brought up the idea to your long-term boyfriend.
“I think you should do it,”
“I know, right?” you scoffed, “it’s insane, why would I do something so stup...wait, what? You do?”
“Of course I do. This is something you love and that you’re passionate about. Do you know how many hours of my life were spent listening to you ramble about NYU?” he questioned with a grin.
“It will open up so many doors for you. We can make things work,” a chuckle escaped from those beautiful lips as he saw your dumbfounded expression. He wrapped his fingers around your waist and pulled you close, “What? Did you expect me to forbid it? Cmon, baby, what kind of guy do you take me for?”
You didn’t have a lot of wins in your life, but you did have Chris.
When you got accepted, he took off a week from work to drive you 3 and a half hours south to help get you settled and moved into your temporary new home. The two of you ate a disgusting amount of pizza, moved a ridiculous amount of heavy furniture in the middle of a summer heat wave, and enjoyed each other’s company before the long-distance thing would set in. Chris spent that week encouraging you every step of the way, talking you off the ledge when you were convinced you had made the wrong decision, and made sure to help you christen every possible surface of your new place in the most deliciously sinful way.
You bit your lip slightly at the thought and a warm feeling spread across your face. Chris was one of the most incredible people you had met in this world. Kind, caring, funny, intelligent, passionate, and god was he sexy. The connection the two of you had was scary at first, but now you just couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else.
The robotic voice came over the loud-speaker in the subway car and you were rudely ripped back to reality as it pulled into your stop. You hurriedly scooped up your bag and jogged off the train.
It had been a promise between the two of you when you moved that there would be equal effort when it came to visiting and keeping in contact while having good, open communication. Long distance was hard but the two of you were determined to make it work. FaceTime calls, hours upon hours of texting, and even as far as writing the occasional letter back and forth (because your boyfriend was a hopeless romantic and you loved it so much). This weekend was your turn to come home to visit, and of course your last class had to go longer than anticipated. Fuckin’ Tiffany and her stupid ass questions.
The muscles of your calves burned as you kept up your hurried pace, weaving through the crowds of people gathered on sidewalks outside of various clubs and restaurants. It was a weekend night and the Patriots were playing, which meant the city was more alive than usual. New York was it's own beast, but it was a different type of hustle and bustle. Nights like these made your heart ache for home - the thick Massachusetts accents, the rowdy voices of bar patrons arguing about the game, the hugs shared between family members as they parted after dinner, and the faint smell of nicotine and alcohol that hung in the air.
As the neon sign that hung in the pub window came in to view you felt your heart dip down into your stomach. Last weekend’s visit had to be cancelled due to some stuff coming up with Chris’ work and a surprise assignment for you, so you hadn’t seen your boyfriend in 2 weeks. With a deep breath you swung open the door and scanned the crowd for him. He told you that he would be there promptly at 7:15pm for pregame shenanigans with his friends - which actually translated to how many pitchers of beer could they suck down before kick off.
“Aw, come ON! That is such a bullshit call!”
You heard him before you saw him. Of course. A grin spread across your lips as you shook your head. The thought of leaving to avoid secondhand embarrassment crossed your mind briefly before you picked up your feet and made your way through the crowd toward the sound. A room full of people from New England and you would still recognize that voice anywhere.
Everyone else seemed to fade away as you saw the outline of the tall, dark haired man standing at the bar. The slight freckles that spattered the back of his neck, the Brady jersey that he spent WAY too much money customizing, and the signature backward ball cap were ingrained in your subconscious memory. Not to mention if you didn’t recognize his outline or his voice, you would definitely recognize that ass anywhere.
You loved how passionate he got about sports and the way his Boston accent seemed to get thicker with each beer he consumed. Growing up in the area, you wouldn't think the accent would send a tingle down your spine the way it does, but it was different - it was Chris. Not to mention the sparkle in his eye when he would watch his favorite team or the way he would get in to arguments whenever someone tried to say something negative about them. You loved your big, handsome, over-sized toddler man so damn much.
A light tap on his shoulder made him whip around, his slightly opened mouth from his interrupted conversation curved upwards into a wicked grin as he made the connection of who was finally standing in front of him.
“Hey there, handsome. I don’t see a ring on your finger. You single?” You grinned, feeling your entire body fill with warmth as Chris leaned back and grabbed his chest as he erupted in laughter.
“Nah, nah, nah, unfortunately for you I am taken” he responded as he snaked his arms around your waist, sliding his hands into your back pockets as he pulled you into his figure.
“That is too bad,” you tsk'd, running a finger down his toned bicep, “she’s one lucky girl.”
“I think I’m the lucky one,” he grinned. He leaned down to meet your lips in a kiss. You sighed into it, allowing your body to mold itself so perfectly into his. The taste of beer on his lips and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating - it was home. You immediately allowed him entrance as you felt his tongue glide along your bottom lip. Your body felt small in his strong grip and you couldn’t help but laugh a bit as he gave your ass a firm squeeze. Normally, this type of bold, public display of affection would make you cringe away but at this point you were lost in Chris that you had absolutely no shame. Each time the two of you embraced had always felt like the first. Your heart still fluttered and your knees still got weak, like you were a 16 year old being kissed for the first time.
In the middle of your reunion moment, however, something happened in the game that made the entire bar erupt in boo’s and curses. Chris lifted his lips from yours to look over his shoulder and inspect what he had missed. You laughed and shook your head as you pushed him back towards his friends and took a seat in the bar stool he had been standing behind initially. His large hands found a natural place on your shoulders. While his eyes remained glued on the TV he began applying a moderate amount of pressure to your neck and shoulders. You didn’t realize how much your body craved that touch, his touch, until you immediately melted back into him.
The bartender slid a beer in front of you with a wink and you mouthed your thanks. You felt a twinge in your heart as you looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the bar. This was a typical weekend night for the two of you whenever you were living together. Football, drinks, pub food, and friends. If it wasn’t this pub it was your living room, just a couple blocks away. You didn’t even mind that it was your first night back and you weren’t alone, spending it immediately wrapped up in your satin sheets. The atmosphere, the people - it was so warm and familiar that you really wouldn’t rather be doing anything else. Plus, being wrapped up together in the sheets was sure to follow.
“I missed you,” hummed a pair of lips as they placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. A shiver shot down your spine at the sensation of his warm breath fanning over your neck. You reached up a hand and connected it to the nape of his neck.
“I missed you too,” you replied, turning your head to plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.
His arms changed position as he wrapped them in front of your shoulders and crossed them, resting his chin on the top of your head. Your hand absentmindedly rubbed his forearms as you nursed your beer and placed your focus onto the game for the first time tonight.
The laughter seemed to escape from your chest naturally and effortlessly the entire night, as it always had a habit of doing when Chris was around. The camaraderie between him and his buddies during a game was something you’d grown to enjoy over the years. Chris’ competitive nature and the way his jaw clenched when something wasn’t going the way he wanted was always kinda...hot. All of his friends were huge assholes, but in the best way. It was always entertaining to hear them jab at each other and do what they could to rile someone up. They were the life of every party you had ever attended and they had a way of making a boring night a lot more interesting.
Thankfully (for the integrity of the bar) the Pats won the game with a surprise touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game. Chris, being the guy he is, bought a final round for his friends and a nearby group they had been going back and forth with all night. You couldn’t help but laugh as he drunkenly leaned across the counter and slurred his order to the bartender.
“I need a round for m’friends and for these assholes over here who thought Tom Brady was anything but a winner!” the group started yelling in protest and he simply waved them off and started sliding beers down the bar.
The group eventually moved to a bigger round top so everyone could shoot the shit and banter about the outcome of the game. You were tucked into Chris’ side, hands intertwined as he was passionately discussing the importance of Brady’s legacy with a stranger who made the mistake of stopping to talk to him. Your eyes followed the motion of your thumb as it traced small circles onto the back of his. Your other hand under your chin, holding up the weight of your head as your exhaustion started to catch up with you. Chris, although slightly drunk, picked up on your body language and raised your hand to his lips for a kiss.
“Alright, fellas,” he said as he stood up from his seat, pulling you up with him, “the lady and I are gonna call it a night. See you boys next weekend”.
“Chris, we don’t have to go,” you began to protest as he tucked his jacket around your shoulders.
“Mm, ‘course we do,” he replied with a soft smile, “you’re so tired, baby. I can see it in those beautiful eyes”.
You could feel your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you rolled your eyes at his attempt at laying it on thick. After what felt like a proper 10 minute goodbye session, the group said their final goodbyes, hugs included, and you walked out of the pub hand in hand.
The walk home was filled with the sounds of cars passing by and conversation of what each other had missed in the week prior. Small talk typically felt like such a chore, but with Chris every conversation came naturally. Even when he had absolutely no idea what you were talking about, he would listen intently and ask all the questions as if it was the most interesting conversation in the world.
The lock on the apartment door clicked as you pushed it open and entered. You smiled as you stopped into the middle of the living room, taking in the home you missed so dearly. A soft tapping of toenails against the hardwood made your heart soar as you met the eyes of your sweet pup, Dodger. A squeal left your lips as you squatted down to give love to the sweet boy. Chris always made fun of you when you came home, saying that you always seemed to miss Dodger more than you did him and I mean, he wasn’t entirely wrong about that statement.
Once again lost in your own world, you didn’t even notice Chris leaned up against the wall watching you with a smile.
“Oh my god,” you gushed, standing up, “do you like...like me or something?”
Chris grinned as he crossed the room and caught your belt loop with his finger, pulling you into him slowly.
“Yeah,” his voice had dropped down an octave, “you could say that”.
“Mm,” your tongue swiped across your lower lip and you wrapped your arms around his neck, “care to show me how much?”
The look in his eyes made your core burn. The tension building between you two became too much to handle as you crashed your lips into his. The kisses were messy and you could feel the sense of urgency between you two. His beard scratched against the column of your throat with a delicious burn as he left wet kisses across your jaw and down the side of your neck. Chris’ hands found their way back into the ass pockets of your jeans as he started walking you back towards the direction of the bedroom.
Soon, there was a trail of clothes leading to your bedroom and you felt very sorry for your neighbors. It had been a long time, but Chris always had a way of welcoming you home.
#eeeeeeee#i love soft drunk boston frat chris so much it pains me#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x reader#chris evans#chris evans headcanons#chris evans imagines#chris evans fic#chris evans fluff#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n#chris evans/reader#chris evans/you#fluff#imagines#headcanons
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So at risk of stepping out of line here are some prompts of many genres for you! I dont know if any of these tickle your fancy.
Hange Survives the rumbling
Magic AU (specifically what would they be skilled or not skilled in. I always picture Hange as being good at illusions and Levi being good at combat magic but best at house hold charms for example)
Zombie apocalypse AU (Levi was a little disgruntled at first to have a tag along but warms up to her pretty quickly and mostly against his better judgement. He is forced to concede having someone to watch his back is nice after she saves his life though )
The exact moment other characters realized Levi had feelings for Hange.
Hange and Levi pranking Erwin in increasingly elaborate ways while keeping their identity a secret. As he gets more and more frustrated.
Just straight up angst with a capitol A
Ive honestly thoroughly enjoyed everything you've written and look forward to seeing more. I dont know etiquette for offering prompts and hope I didnt offer too many. I just thought they sounded cool.
I have saved all of these because there are so many good ideas BUT on this occasion I have decided to write the following: The exact moment other characters realized Levi had feelings for Hange. This was also inspired in part by something @glassesandswords said earlier regarding Levihan and ballroom dancing. There is no (real) dancing, but there is a ballroom.....does that count?
They were greeted politely at the doors, and led through a huge, carved entryway, intricate pillars stretching from the shiny marble floor to the high, mural ceiling. It was a beautiful architectural feat, but the effect was wasted on Erwin's small group, who observed the space with contempt, or else in Hange's case, stared only at the floor where their reflections shimmered in the polished surface.
Sweet music played through a closed set of double doors up ahead, carrying with it the hum of many voices interspersed now and then with a raucous laugh, or the clink of cutlery on expensive ceramic dishes. Two men, dressed in matching uniform, bowed politely and pulled the doors open, and the sound from within spilled into the entryway, echoing into the vast space.
The ballroom was beautiful.
**
The carriage pulled up in a stone-paved courtyard outside one of the most extravagant buildings Erwin had ever seen. Much like everything else in Sina, money had been thrown about without restraint, to create halls and mansions and castles each bigger and more gaudy than the last. They functioned almost exclusively as a show of wealth, save for the occasional ball or banquet where the space was welcome, and the rich were more than happy to showcase their spoils.
Tonight, this particular hall had the honour of hosting the Benefactors Ball. It was an opportunity for the military factions to rub shoulders with nobility, and garner themselves some additional funding—politicking disguised as polite conversation over glasses of champagne, each one likely costing more than the monthly budget allocated for the Survey Corps as a whole.
Erwin stepped down from the carriage and took in the space. The building was tall, all white stone and huge, arched windows, polished until they shone, reflecting the evening sky. A wide staircase led to a set of great oak doors, thrown open and exposing a glimpse of the entrance hall within. The interior was full of buildings like this, large enough to hold hundreds, but vacant for most of the year, while the people within Wall Rose lived like cattle, penned into cramped houses with one room for a whole family.
Behind him, the carriage creaked as Levi climbed down. He stopped beside Erwin and stared up at the lavish building with his lip curled, his distaste evident. He made no efforts to hide his disgust at the gaudy display of luxury, and did not bother lowering his voice when he said, "stinks like pig shit. Filthy rich bastards can't pay someone to wipe their asses properly?"
Erwin cleared his throat, swallowing the urge to laugh. He perfectly understood Levi's disdain, for the sentiment was widely shared, both throughout the Corps and much of the land outside of the interior. People lived in poverty, struggling to make ends meet and fighting for rations while the rich ate decadent banquets full of more food than they could ever hope to consume, growing fat and idle in their comfort.
To his left, Mike had alighted from the carriage and was busy straightening his suit. He showed less restraint than Erwin, snorting and garnering some scathing looks from the passing attendees. Erwin fixed his face into a pleasant, appeasing smile, and spoke through the side of his mouth. "Better not to insult our company if you want to eat over the winter."
"We're already eating scraps like dogs," Levi protested with a sharp click of his tongue.
"And you'll be eating less than that if they cut our funding. Behave, please."
Mike shrugged a shoulder, unbothered by Erwin's scolding. Levi shot him a scowl, but did not argue and instead turned to talk over his shoulder, barking out. "Oi, four-eyes. The hell is taking so long?"
There was some shuffling inside the carriage. Erwin could hear Hange grumbling to themself inside it, and then their voice called out, somewhat petulantly, "I feel ridiculous."
"We're running late," Erwin said. "Come on."
Hange swore quietly, then sighed. More shuffling and Erwin heard the carriage stairs creak as Hange climbed their way carefully down them, manoeuvring awkwardly with all the loose fabric around their legs. They stood stiffly beside Levi, adjusting the thin, silk shawl across their shoulders and pulling it over their chest. The neckline of their dress cut too low for their comfort, which Hange had complained about endlessly on the ride here, and the midnight blue fabric fell to brush the tops of their feet, where they had been forced into a pair of flat, thin-soled shoes that were already rubbing the skin of their heels raw.
The dress was very pretty, and in truth, Hange looked very pretty in it, but their discomfort showed painfully in their high, drawn shoulders and slouched posture, curved over themself to make their long, thin frame appear as small as possible.
"I don't see why I couldn't wear a suit like everybody else," Hange said, huffing to blow their fringe out of their face. Nanaba had fixed their hair in a delicate half-up do, a pretty, intricate bun fastened at the back of their head while the rest of their hair fell in loose curls just past their shoulders. Already, they seemed annoyed with it, constantly pushing it away from their face and neck. Mike turned to examine the view and Levi, who had been watching Hange slyly from the corner of his eye, slid his gaze forward and away. Erwin cleared his throat, but made no comment. The organisers had been clear about their dress code requirements—no military decoration, suits for the men and dresses for the women. Hange's military record had decided their fate for the evening, and no amount of arguing or pleading could change that.
After a pregnant pause, Erwin politely held out an arm for Hange, and gave them a somewhat apologetic smile. "Shall we?"
Hange kept their hands to themself. They shook their head and made a vague gesture for Erwin to walk ahead, following closely behind him and Mike, whose combined height and bulk blocked them from view. Erwin felt a little guilty, for forcing Hange to come, and for refusing their multiple requests to dress in something they felt more relaxed in. But Erwin understood well how the benefactors operated, knew that a pretty face in a nice dress had sway where stoic men in suits did not. Hange's frosty attitude towards him was enough to convince him that they understood, too.
They were greeted politely at the doors, and led through a huge, carved entryway, intricate pillars stretching from the shiny marble floor to the high, mural ceiling. It was a beautiful architectural feat, but the effect was wasted on Erwin's small group, who observed the space with contempt, or else in Hange's case, stared only at the floor where their reflections shimmered in the polished surface.
Sweet music played through a closed set of double doors up ahead, carrying with it the hum of many voices interspersed now and then with a raucous laugh, or the clink of cutlery on expensive ceramic dishes. Two men, dressed in matching uniform, bowed politely and pulled the doors open, and the sound from within spilled into the entryway, echoing into the vast space.
The ballroom was beautiful. Long tables lined the walls, piled high with more food than they had ever seen in their lives, steaming joints of meat, fresh and tender, and fish, vegetables steamed or roasted and coated in unfamiliar herbs and spices. The combined smell was mouthwatering. Beside him, Mike breathed long and deep through his nose. There was a huge, open floor in the centre of the room where the attendees were mingling, the men dressed in sharp, well-fitted suits and the women draped in elegant dresses, fine jewelry studding their fingers and wrapping their wrists, pearls and gems hanging from their necks. A great, ornate chandelier hung overhead, lit with what felt like hundreds of candles, the firelight ducking and weaving, shimmering from the hanging crystals and casting pretty, shifting shadows on the floor below. On one wall, huge windows ran from ceiling to floor and displayed a well-groomed garden flushed pink in the setting sun, dotted carefully with trimmed bushes and pruned flowers, a great stone fountain set in the centre,
The four of them stood in a line in the open doorway. Erwin observed quickly, efficiently. Many faces were already blushing a little red, from the heat and their full stomachs and the champagne, ferried around the room by waiters carrying trays, darting about the space with choreographed ease. He spotted a few of the key benefactors, those with the fattest wallets, and took note of the drinks in their hands—tumblers of amber liquid, whiskey or brandy from the bar, or else goblets of deep red wine that stained their lips and teeth. A glass or two more and enough sweet, sickly compliments, and Erwin felt confident they could come to some financial agreements.
He turned to look at the others. Mike's expression was neutral, eyes masked by his long fringe, but his posture was relaxed, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. Levi's eyes had once again roved to one side, where Hange stood, taking in the room with one arm covering their chest, their nails scratching absently at the skin of their neck. Levi clicked his tongue at them and reached up, flicking their knuckles.
"Stop doing that, idiot," Levi said. "You look diseased."
Hange's neck had indeed turned a deep shade of red where their nails had raked at the skin, swelling in thin, raised welts that threatened to split open with much more abuse. Hange pulled the shawl tighter around themself.
"I have a few people I need to speak to," Erwin said. He shot them each a look in turn. "Mingle, but please, stay out of trouble."
Mike nodded. Levi shrugged a shoulder. Hange glared at him, the candlelight catching and glinting off their glasses. Erwin trusted the group, but not completely. Mike had a penchant for dry sarcasm, and Erwin had observed of late that Hange and Levi could make an explosive pair when left to their own devices, equally as volatile whether they were conspiring together or else at each other's throats. Collateral damage within the Corps was easy enough to iron out—traumatised recruits were simple to deal with. Offended benefactors and interior personnel were a whole other matter. Smoothing out Survey Corps relations with their funding parties was a headache Erwin didn't need, if he could help it.
Hange, though, looked ill-equipped for mischief. Erwin couldn't recall a time he had ever heard them seem quiet, or seen them so tense. Of all the soldiers Erwin had ever known, Hange was the most loose, relaxed, with little regard for military hierarchy, no sense of personal space, and a lack of shame so absolute it bordered on admirable. He had never seen Hange so subdued, before. He might have found the reprieve from their usual exuberance peaceful, if not for the itch of guilt that came with it.
But he didn't have time to dwell on it. There were more important matters to attend to, and Erwin took his leave from the group with a stern nod, leaving to greet Pixis and Nile where they were talking politely with some bloated, red-faced nobles.
The evening passed in endless addresses. Erwin flattered his way around the room, speaking humbly with innumerable men, smiling and taking their backhanded compliments with grace while pushing another drink into their greedy hands.
Over the shoulders of one stout man with yellow teeth and breath like tobacco, Erwin caught sight of Mike, dutifully nodding his head as a gaggle of older women flocked around him. He panned his gaze around, searching for his two missing soldiers, until his eyes landed on Hange where they stood near a corner of the room, engaged in awkward looking conversation with a lanky man who seemed to share Hange's usual sentiments about personal space. He was taller than Hange, but had stooped until their faces were close, and in both of his hands he held one of Hange's, stroking over their knuckles as he talked. Hange had a forced smile on their face, but even from this distance Erwin could see the strain in their neck, the tightness in their face, their free hand white-knuckling a fist full of their dress at their side.
Erwin had known Hange long enough to understand the concentrated effort with which they were holding back. He would have to thank them later, for not causing a scene, but he could have hardly blamed them if they had. As he watched, the man brought one hand up to Hange's hair, following a loose curl from the crown of their head, past their cheek, and to their shoulder, where his fingertips danced lightly at their collar. Hange's face was pale in their anger, and Erwin was mentally preparing the kind of speeches he'd have to give to excuse Hange's indiscretion, when a figure appeared at their side offering a glass of champagne. Erwin's brows rose.
Levi had come out of nowhere. He pressed the glass insistently at Hange, who quickly pulled both of their hands free to take it. Their admirer looked sufficiently displeased by the interruption, straightening to his full height and looking down his nose at Levi. Levi stared back impassively, gaze unwavering as Hange spoke, gesturing towards Levi, and Erwin watched with some smug satisfaction as introductions were made, and the sleazy old man realised exactly who had joined their conversation.
He stuck around for only a moment, before taking his leave. Hange watched him go, then visibly sagged in place, taking a long gulp from the delicate flute and bringing their hand up to their throat. Levi said something that made Hange laugh. Their smile was small and the shake of their shoulders was slight, but it was genuine. Levi slapped weakly at Hange's hand—they had been scratching again, the skin of their neck red and irritated. He took the champagne flute from their hand and drank the rest, depositing the empty glass on a nearby table and pulling a face, running his tongue over his teeth. Hange laughed again, a little brighter this time, some delight reflected in their face as they watched Levi's twisted expression, and when Levi said something that looked suspiciously like piss off, they laughed loud enough that Erwin could just hear it. Levi nudged at Hange's ribs with his elbow and Hange grabbed onto his arm, wriggling away. When Levi stopped his prodding, Hange didn't let go of him. And then the crowd shifted, a throng of men heading towards the bar, obscuring Levi and Hange from his view.
Huh.
That was interesting.
Levi had been with them for just over two years now. He had opened up very little in that time, remained almost as stoic and distant as he had been when he had first been recruited. He spoke little, and what conversation he did make was always rude and often perfunctory, coaxed into short, one-word answers or non-committal grunts. He dealt with Erwin because he had to. He tolerated Mike due to proximity alone—where Erwin went, Mike was never far behind.
His forbearance of Hange was more confusing.
There was no real need for them to spend much time together. Outside of meetings and events like these, compulsory gatherings where Erwin preferred to bring his most trusted subordinates, the pair of them were never required to be in each other's company. He'd had no doubt that Hange would be pushy; they were fascinated by Levi and had been since the beginning, keen to observe as much as they could, to understand and employ whatever technique it was that allowed Levi to move so quickly, to fight so efficiently. He had been unsurprised to see Hange hovering around Levi shortly after their first mission together—"like a fly on horse shit," Levi had said—and it had been no shock to him at all that Levi's dismissal had fallen on deaf ears.
But time had passed, and despite Levi's constant grumbles and complaints, seeing the two of them together had become an increasingly familiar sight.
Things weren't always amiable. There was a lot of bickering, loud disagreements where Hange would whinge and push and prod and Levi's anger would build until he was steaming, and there had on one occasion been a physical fight, the kind of feral scuffling in the dirt usually reserved for children. Erwin had broken that up himself after battling to the centre of a watching crowd, and the pair of them had sat down across from him at his desk, their faces resolutely turned in opposite directions, their hair and clothes coated in dusty, dry soil, with swelling bruises on their cheeks and split skin on their knuckles. They pointed fingers, each laying the blame squarely on the other, and neither had admitted the root cause. Erwin eventually dismissed them with a headache, and demanded that whatever their issue was, they resolve it—civilly. He had wholly expected another scrap, but had been pleasantly surprised at finding the pair of them sitting together in the mess hall that evening—they were arguing about Hange's ludicrous notion to capture a titan when he had passed them, Levi jabbing his fork at Hange's hand when they slyly reached for his bread, but there was a familiar light in Hange's eyes, one that told him this argument, at least for now, was not serious.
Erwin had been pleasantly surprised to see a similar expression reflected on Levi's usually flat, stoic face. He had ripped his bread loaf in two, and dropped half of it silently onto Hange's plate as he told them, "for the last damn time, no."
Levi afforded Hange for more leniency than he did to anybody else. He would pull a face when Hange threw an arm around his shoulder, but he never pushed them away anymore. He'd grumble if Hange dropped next to him on Erwin's sofa and wriggled their does under his thighs for warmth, curse them for putting their dirty feet on the furniture, but it had been a long time now since Levi had knocked their feet back to the floor. He would badger them relentlessly about their greasy hair or the dirt under their nails, and in the same breath he would tug on their ponytail, his fingers sinking easily into the knotted, unkempt hair.
And now, this—Levi barely tolerated using communal utensils, opting often to clean his own cutlery before eating. To drink directly from the same glass as anyone, let alone Hange, who Levi notoriously butted heads with over their personal hygiene, was unimaginable. And yet.
Erwin was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of his name, and turned back to his companion, falling easily into conversation once more.
The evening dragged on. The sky outside the great windows was full dark, the stone fountain pale in the moonlight. The water shimmered, dark and spotted with the light from the stars. Erwin's throat was dry and sore from talking, but he felt satisfied—he had secured plenty of meetings to negotiate funding, enough that he wasn't all too worried that they would inevitably lose a few offers when the alcohol wore off.
He found Mike near the bar, finally alone. Erwin crossed to him and greeted him with a nod, ordering a drink and leaning against the bar beside Mike to enjoy it.
"Calling it a success?" Mike asked. Erwin hummed.
"I think so. I'll wait until we are safely back at the barracks before I say for certain."
Mike snorted quietly into his glass. He was sipping from a glass of fragrant whiskey, something deep and smoky. Erwin took another mouthful from his water.
"And you?" Erwin asked. "Would you call it a successful evening?"
Mike reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. "A very lovely lady left me her address. She insisted I write to her."
Erwin's lip quirked. He hid it behind his glass. "Will you?"
Mike shrugged. "Maybe. I figure she might leave me a big fat inheritance if I do."
Erwin chuckled, and looked about the room.
The crowd had thinned some, and those who remained spoke in loud, slurred voices that sounded over the lazy music played by the band. They stood around in small clusters, picking at the plentiful food and chugging down their drinks, bellies swollen behind shirts bursting at the seams. Pigs ready for slaughter, if it weren't for the work of people like them, who put their lives on the line for humanity every time they set foot into titan territory.
Mike elbowed him. Erwin hummed, and Mike nodded his head towards a corner of the room. "How's that for a success?"
Many of the candles in the chandelier had gone out, leaving the room with a smoky haze and the lights lower than before, a warm orange glow that barely reached the corners. Hange had sat themself on the corner of one of the tables, their feet dangling a little way off the floor as they drank from another glass of champagne. Their shawl had been replaced with Levi's jacket, buttoned just over their chest to cover them, and they had kicked off their shoes, bare feet swinging back and forth as they drank. Their hair had been thrown up into its customary ponytail, messy and shaggy at the back of their head. They looked much more like Hange, more relaxed, more comfortable.
Levi stood close beside them, his hip cocked against the table edge, Hange's shawl folded neatly and draped over his arm. The pair of them were talking between themselves, observing the room—Hange kept snickering, and Levi kept hiding his own smile with his champagne glass. Both of their cheeks were flushed pink, noticeable even with the distance. Hange twisted their head to look at Levi, still laughing, and reached up idly to fuss with his hair. Levi continued talking to Hange as though they hadn't touched him, his eyes glued to their face as they broke into a loud, tinkling laugh, the kind that carried like windchimes over the rest of the noise. Levi's eyes were a little wide, brows relaxed out of his customary frown, and his lips were a little parted as he stared openly at Hange.
"You think he knows he looks at Hange like they put the sun in the sky?" Mike said. Erwin laughed and shook his head.
Whatever Hange said next must have been teasing. Their lips spread in a sly smile, showing teeth, and their eyes pinched behind their glasses. They leaned a little further into Levi's space, and Erwin noticed Hange's leg drift sideways, their toes brushing against Levi's calf. Whatever Hange said made Levi grimace, but he put no distance between them. One of his hands settled on Hange's knee as he leaned even closer, and the other came up between their faces to pinch at Hange's nose. He shook their face back and forth until Hange brought their hands up and wrapped them around Levi's wrist. Levi relinquished his hold, and Hange lowered their hands down into their lap, playing with Levi's fingers as they fell back into conversation.
Levi put no distance between them. Erwin and Mike watched the pair of them, watched as Levi swayed even further into Hange's space, his fringe brushing against Hange's brow. Hange was watching him curiously, their head tipped a little to one side—Levi initiating any kind of proximity must have been new, even to Hange, but they didn't seem at all bothered by his closeness.
Mike let out a low whistle. "Little street rat has a soft spot."
Erwin gave Mike a warning look, and Mike raised his hand in surrender. "Sorry, sorry. Just surprised to see the captain has feelings, is all."
"It's that hard to believe?" Erwin said. "He cared a lot about his friends, too. He has a heart."
"Somewhere."
Erwin rolled his eyes. Levi and Hange were still standing close, and Levi looked very much like he was debating something in his head. His eyes flicked over Hange's face, and his fingers curled slowly around Hange's, gripping one of their hands in his. Erwin found himself holding his breath, watching them, waiting with a childishly eager anticipation. As their superior, Erwin certainly shouldn't encourage interpersonal relationships between his soldiers—but they were his friends, too. If they could afford themselves a moment of happiness in this hellish world, Erwin wouldn't stop them. Not for one night.
And then Hange's eyes flicked their way. They grinned widely, turning their face and lifting a hand to wave enthusiastically across the room. Unthinking of their attire, Hange bent a knee up and braced one of their heels on the table edge, exposing entirely too much skin to the remaining patrons in the room.
Erwin waved calmly back. Mike raised his glass. Levi stepped out of Hange's space, pausing only to pull a face and silently drape Hange's shawl over their lap, to cover them where the dress had ridden up their leg. He slipped his hand out of Hange's and jammed it instead into his pocket, and shook his fringe over his eyes, looking at Erwin and Mike through it. His scowl was back in place, but the colour in his cheeks had intensified.
Hange spoke to Levi, then hopped off the table grabbed his hand again, turning backwards to keep a hold of his hand as he bunched up their shawl and scooped to pick up Hange's shoes, dangling them from his fingers as Hange dragged him barefoot across the ballroom floor. Levi followed behind, caught helplessly in Hange's wake. In the middle of the floor Hange paused, and turned to him so quickly the hem of their dress rose, twirling around their legs. Whatever they said made Levi shake his head, and then shake it again, more firmly, but Hange laughed that bright, tinkling laughter and held the skirt of their dress in their spare hand, dipping into an exaggerated curtsey. Erwin wasn't sure what had done it, whether it was the alcohol or the jacket covering them up, or perhaps it was simply the presence of good company, but Hange was behaving more like themself again, bubbly and alive, and Levi was as ever their hopeless victim, cringing when Hange spun themself down the length of his arm, paused briefly with their body pressed tight against his chest, and then back out again, teetering on their toes to keep their balance.
They tried valiantly to coax Levi into a few off-beat steps, moving to a rhythm Erwin couldn’t identify. They smile was bright, their face pleasantly read, and they were wholly unbothered by Levi’s lack of commitment. Levi looked at them sternly, but the threat of it was lost in the bright red flush of his cheeks.
"You're no fun, Levi!" They whined, close enough now that Erwin could hear them. Levi clicked his tongue.
"You're acting like an idiot."
"I'm having fun," Hange said, tugging on Levi's hand. "You should try it! You might like it."
"Brat."
Hange grinned as though he had complimented them. Levi's lips twitched, but he held back any urge to smile and curled his lip in a snarl instead, hitting Hange's leg lightly with their shoes and urging them to start walking again. Hange saluted him and together they crossed the rest of the distance and stopped before Erwin and Mike. Hange kept a casual hold on Levi's hand and Levi made no move to part from them, but he glared at Mike and Erwin as though daring them to say something. Mike smirked, and Levi flushed deeper, but his grip tightened around Hange's fingers.
"Are we done?" Hange asked. Erwin nodded. "Good. My feet are killing me—who the hell designed shoes like? And I’m tired of creepy old men—which reminds me,” Hange reached into the top of their dress and pulled out a handful of napkins, which they handed over to Erwin. “These perverts seemed pretty eager to spare a pretty penny for a nice young lady like myself.” Hange pulled a face as they said it. “I can't wait to get this dress off."
Erwin noted with interest the way Levi's eyes slid to Hange, roving down the length of their body and up again.
Mike downed the last of his drink. "Finally," he said, stretching and following as Erwin led them towards the door.
"Tired after wagging your tail for all those grandma's?"
Hange snickered, and Levi's mouth pulled into half a smile. Mike, unaffected by the jab, only grinned.
"Exhausted. What about you, though? Eager to head back and pop some pain killers?"
"Hah?"
Mike's grin widened. He leaned closer to Levi, and Erwin had to strain his ears to hear him.
"I heard being whipped hurts."
This time, Levi did let go of Hange's hand. Quickly.
There was a carriage waiting for them outside. Erwin took the stairs quickly, eager to sit and rest for the duration of the journey back to the barracks. He opened the door and turned, waiting to let the others in, but only Mike was behind him. Levi and Hange were still at the top of the stairs, Hange holding Levi's shoulders for balance as they slipped back into their shoes. Their face was curled in a pained grimace as they descended the stairs and Levi was watching them closely, one of his hands hovering at their back. Mike looked delighted as they approached, and took great pleasure in offering Hange his hand to help them into the carriage before Levi could. He climbed in and sat beside Hange, leaving Levi to take the seat opposite them. Once they were seated, Erwin knocked on the box, and the driver urged the horses on.
Hange sighed loudly. They kicked off their shoes again, and dumped their feet into Levi's lap.
"Oi," Levi said, though there was no malice behind it. Hange wiggled their toes until Levi closed his hand around Hange's foot, thumb digging into the arch with practiced ease. Hange sighed happily and slumped in their seat.
Mike made a show of sniffing the air, and pulled a face. "Smells weird in here."
"Like what?" Hange asked sluggishly. They had let their eyes drift closed as Levi worked absently on their foot, the buzz from the champagne mellowing in the darkness of the cab.
Mike sniffed again. "Horny teenagers."
Levi's ministrations paused briefly, thumb and fingers stilling until Hange made an impatient sound and lifted their foot, shaking it in his face.
"Fuck off," he hissed, but continued. Hange poked out their tongue and gave him a satisfied grin, then rolled their head towards Mike.
"I think your nose is broken," Hange said. "'S probably just my feet."
"They do reek," Levi added. Hange sunk right the way down in their seat and pushed both feet at Levi's face this time, dodging his grabbing hands and wrestling with him when he caught ahold of them, until he slammed both of their feet back into his lap, victorious, and pinned them down by the ankles. Hange's face was a little flushed from the exertion and their laughter was breathless. Levi looked a little triumphant, eyes alight with something like humour.
Levi was having fun.
Erwin tipped his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes.
"I don't know, Hange," he said, smiling. "I think Mike might be onto something."
#levihan#snk#my writing#ask#thank you for these!!#I am especially intrigued by the magic AU since I have had a similar idea in mind for awhile now#maybe I will finally get around to it hjkh#this was fun but writing erwin is HARD#anyway Levi is whipped what else is new#there are probably many hilarious typos since I wrote this on my phone and am too tired to edit OOPS#anyway please enjoy!!#<3 .
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Why is our Loki so underpowered now though? Since when does he not know how to do magic on his own??? We’ve seen him cast illusions, use mind control or influence, shapeshift, and telekinesis buildings into oblivion. We’ve seen him wield the Tesseract and the Casket of Ancient Winters. He can hide from Heimdall. We’ve seen him go toe-to-toe with Thor and the other Avengers. He’s battled frost giants, tricked and slain Laufey, and killed six Dark Elves in like three seconds. He gets up from being shot point-blank with a SHIELD energy cannon without so much as a scratch, easily catches Hawkeye’s arrow with his bare hands, is unharmed by its explosion, and is still barely scathed after being Hulk smashed through reinforced concrete. He doesn’t die when he gets killed. All the other variants of the character are off doing sorcery or highly skilled fighting in this series and yet most of the time ours just flits about awkwardly whilst dressed as a TVA accounting temp? Where is the sardonic, razor wit? He is not the only one lacking it, no one in this show feels clever.
Frankly, I think the ability to write a magically powered character well is directly dependent on the creativity, intellect, and boldness of the writers. Why was he running around to distract the lianth? We know he can duplication cast, create illusions, and hel, make fireworks, etc. Any or all of his own established powers would have served as well as or even better than a variant-ex-machina. He could have even led the other variants to that idea by starting it. More importantly, there are other ways to create intensity and drive a plot forward, you don’t always have to just throw up a giant monster or explosion.
I think the writers are too invested in their OCs. (B-15 is actually interesting though, at least she’s someone whose story seems worth caring about. C-20 could have been explored better too). Sylvie is a character I could have been very fond of if the story was being written differently, but as it stands now I feel almost resentful towards her. I came to see Loki (and not as her comic relief sidekick and/or *cringes* canon love interest. Of course fanfic writers and shippers feel free to do whatever you wish, and know that I don’t judge you for it, but that said I also don’t believe it should be in the official MCU canon. I really hoped and thought it would just be a fake-out).
Loki is NOT A NARCISSIST.
I don’t find it funny to use repetitive torture as a gag particularly on an already canonically abused and traumatized character (especially one of whom I am unashamedly rather fond, but this is a general rule). Loki is not some coddled little disney prince. This character ( the God of Mischief, a Prince of Asgard, the rightful King of Jotunheim) has been through a ridiculous variety of his own hardships, battles alongside Thor, battles against him, and alone. He is extremely powerful and experienced. He did not start out as a typical villain, and “redemption” does not mean he has to be depowered, converted into a typical hero, or otherwise made boring. Loki has always hovered somewhere more towards the middle, most interesting part of the spectrum, one slight shift of balance or interpretation sends him tilting back-and-forth from one side or the other in each given situation.
For whatever reason, the writers feel the need to have every character directly say everything they think and feel out loud as it happens. It comes across clunky, ooc, oversimplified, and dull. They also tell us what they want us to think about each character. You can’t tell your audience how to feel, the organic response to and interpretation of the story, its characters, and their actions is our glorious purpose job. Especially coming in with a character like Loki who has had a dedicated fanbase since the days of yore, you can’t afford to be so presumptuous as to believe the audience will just buy right into your interpretation, story, and your OCs’ words about him immediately or without question. We the audience have been around Loki and gotten to know and understand this character over a long time. Sure there’s differing fan interpretations, but there’s also some things that even if not outright stated in dialogue are still indisputably part of the text. Mind your lore and all its rich details. Respecting the history of an already familiar character should actually broaden the scope of your own storytelling.
In Thor (2011) Loki was legitimately given the throne; Heimdall, Sif, and The Warriors Three committed treason against him, he killed Laufey. Loki’s goal was not to acquire the throne; but to prevent war and delay an arrogant, violent Thor’s ascent to power. He sought acceptance and an equal place in his family and among the people of Asgard. He tried to commit suicide at the end but was found and tortured by Thanos and his sniveling sycophants instead, leading to the events of Avengers, where he was also under the influence of the mind stone.
A lot of the things that feel awkward or ooc aren’t so much inherently bad ideas as poor planning and execution. The show wants to be smarter than it is, but also wants to be full of a brand of humor that just doesn’t land within this context.
Alligator Loki, I don’t fully understand, but I respect enough. I think it’s best left unquestioned. Unfortunately, it’s really not that surprising or strange to me.
#loki series critical#i'm sorry i don't like to post negativity and there are moments in this thing i enjoy#but it feels too much like a fanfic rather often#if it was one i probably would have closed the tab and gone to something else#and for the love of the realms please stop with the loki sylvie ... whatever that tension is#i feel a deep sense of discomfort with it right down into my very skeleton#again something i probably would not be bothered by if it were a fanfic#i really do try to not be a negative blogger#the cast is doing amazing#and the soundtrack is brilliant too#but this thing needs editors and writers#loki series spoilers#loki series meta
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my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 8)
Chapter summary: When Aaron gets stuck at work late and Jess has to go help out her dad, Aaron has nobody else to turn to but you to watch Jack. The only problem? Up until now, Aaron has been keeping his home life completely separate from you, and you have no clue how this will effect your already precarious relationship with Aaron.
Warnings: N/A
A/N: This was not part of the original plan at all for this story, but I couldn’t get it out of my head.
masterlist || read on ao3
In between What I find is pleasing and I'm feeling fine Love is so confusing, there's no peace of mind If I fear I'm losing you it's just no good You teasing like you do - Blondie, “Heart of Glass”
~~~~~~~
You were on your couch doing homework when you got the call from Aaron, and you frowned in confusion when you saw his name flash across your cell phone screen. Aaron never called you while he was working, and you especially didn’t expect a call from him today. He was doing a custodial interview with an inmate sentenced to death somewhere in Virginia, and you figured prison didn’t have the greatest cell service.
“Hey there, jailbird,” you greeted. “Are you inviting me to the dance?”
“Very cute, Elvis,” Aaron joked, but it was half hearted. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice. “I need to ask you for a favor, and I want you to know that I wouldn’t be asking you if I had any other options.”
“Mhm, I love being the last choice,” you mused sarcastically. “You really know how to make a girl feel special, Aaron.”
Aaron elected to ignore your last comment. “The prison just went on lockdown, so I’m going to be stuck here for at least a few more hours,” he explained, and there was an unnatural nervousness to his voice. “And Jessica has to go deal with an emergency with her father.”
You frowned to yourself, unsure of where Aaron was going with his explanation, and even more unsure of who this Jessica person was. A pang of jealousy shot through you, but you quickly bottled that feeling.
Aaron took a moment to compose himself before continuing. “Would you be willing to watch Jack for a few hours? I know it’s not ideal, but it would just be for a little while until either I get out of here or somebody else from the BAU gets off of work. I would even be willing to compensate you for your time.”
Oh.
OH.
Silence crackled through the phone as you took in his request, and you could practically feel Aaron’s nervousness. It shouldn’t have been as big of a deal as it was. It had been two months since you’ve been with Aaron, you slept over at his house enough, and you worked in the same building as him. It was pretty inevitable that of course you were going to meet Jack at some point, but you always figured it would be with Aaron there to mediate. You had pictured that it would probably be accidental, maybe Jack would wake up early and would catch you sneaking out of Aaron’s house. Or you would be invited to one of Rossi’s famous dinners and the kids would be there and then there would be no questions asked. You definitely didn’t expect to babysit.
“Yeah, of course, I can watch him,” you said finally, and you heard Aaron let out a sigh of relief. “And you don’t have to pay me… or worry about finding a replacement. He can hang out with me for as long as you need.”
“Thank you,” Aaron told you, still sounding completely drained. “I will send your address to Jessica, and she will drop Jack off at your place in about half an hour. I really owe you, Y/N. I have to go talk to the warden now, but please call me if you need anything, okay? Bye.” Before you could even answer, Aaron hung up.
You took a deep breath as dread settled in the pit of your stomach. How hard would babysitting be, really? You’ve babysat before - Aly had a little brother who basically became your little brother. However, a weird part of you was nervous that Jack wouldn’t like you, which was ridiculous. It didn’t matter whether or not Jack liked you.
Right?
Deciding that you couldn’t just sit there and panic, you chose to use the time to tidy up your apartment, just to make it extra presentable. The organized mess that was your homework space was quickly arranged so that all of your notebooks and papers were in a neat pile. You took down the half empty tequila bottle from forever ago that was sitting on the top of your fridge and shoved it into a cabinet somewhere. The throw blanket that you had been wrapped up in was refolded and placed on the arm of your couch. You wanted to at least give the illusion that you were prepared to babysit Aaron’s son, and not completely freaking out inside.
Right on schedule, knocking came from your door, and you rushed to open it. You were greeted by a blonde woman, probably a few years younger than Aaron, who you assumed to be Jessica. Next to her was the elusive Jack, with his blonde hair and missing front tooth. You had seen a few photos of Jack in passing, hanging up around Aaron’s house and whatnot, but you never got a good look at the photos.
“Y/N?” Jessica asked cautiously, and you nodded slowly. “Hi, I’m Jessica, Jack’s aunt.”
Jack’s aunt. A million emotions hit you at once. Oh god, she was Haley’s sister. Your stomach started to feel queasy, and it took you a second to realize that it was guilt, although you weren’t quite sure what you felt guilty about.
Logically, you knew Aaron had a life outside of you. Hell, you had slowly become part of that outside life now that you were friends with his coworkers, but you really tried to avoid thinking about Aaron’s home life. When he wasn’t with you, it was out of sight, out of mind. He was his own individual entity.
Now you were face-to-face with just how insignificant you were in the grand scheme of Aaron’s life. The fact was that you were probably no more than a side storyline in his life, a character created just for Aaron’s own development. He had a life and a family that you barely knew about. There was evidence of his home life everywhere - the bins of toys at his house, drawings on his fridge, family photos in matching frames in the hallway, even a small jewelry box on his dresser that looked like it had been collecting dust for a few years - but you had gotten good at averting your eyes.
“Hi, yes, that’s me,” you replied, shaking Jessica’s hand. Then you bent down so you were closer to Jack’s height. “Hey dude, I’m Y/N,” you introduced, giving him a small wave.
Jessica took the backpack she was carrying and helped Jack slip it onto his shoulders. “Thank you again for doing this on such short notice. Aaron should have sent over my phone number if you need anything, but Jack’s a good kid. He just has some homework that he needs to get done,” she explained.
“It’s no problem,” you told her, giving her your best reassuring smile. “He’s in good hands here.”
Jessica smiled gratefully at you before kneeling down to say goodbye to Jack. You stood in the doorway awkwardly as you watched the interaction curiously. It was as normal as it could get, Jessica telling Jack to behave and that she loves him, but it also fascinated you, like you were watching a movie and all of the characters had popped out of the screen.
Jack gave his aunt a hug before she left, and the two of you stepped into your apartment. That same nervousness came back in full force. What kind of games did he like to play? You didn’t have any toys for him. What if you couldn’t help him with his homework? Do kids his age learn fractions yet, because you did not remember fractions. What if-
“Woah!” came Jack’s voice, breaking you out of your spiraling. “Can I please sit on the bean bag chair?”
Well, Jack certainly wasn’t nervous, which offered you more relief than you thought it would. “Yeah, of course, you can. It’s my favorite place to do my homework.”
Jack flopped onto the bean bag chair, his tiny frame almost completely consumed by it. You could see the confusion growing on Jack’s face. “You have to do homework?” Jack asked.
“Yup,” you told him. “And I know you do, too, so we can do homework together.”
Jack jutted out his bottom lip in a pout. “Will I have to still do homework when I’m old?”
At that, you let out a genuine laugh, even if you were a little shocked. The kid had personality, you had to admit. “I’m not that old,” you halfheartedly protested, “And maybe. It depends on what you want to be when you grow up.”
“I want to be a superhero,” Jack said matter-of-factly. “Like Spiderman.”
You nodded, the movement playfully exaggerated. “Oh, well Spiderman is really smart. I’m sure he does a lot of homework, so you better get to work. Let me know if you need any help, okay?” You chuckled again at Jack’s increased pout, obviously disappointed in the fact that even superheroes had to focus on school.
Jack reached into his backpack and pulled out a pencil and a brightly colored folder with papers sticking out of it every which way. He started on his worksheets, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration, and it hit you just how much he looked like Aaron. The blonde hair threw you off, but you had seen that exact look on Aaron’s face many times, eyebrows together and lips pursed ever so slightly. Like father, like son. You had to resist the urge to audibly coo at the sight. You were only human, after all.
You tore your eyes away from the boy and glanced over at your laptop, which was sitting open on your coffee table, the cursor blinking back at you teasingly, reminding you that you also had to get to work. You had essays to write and practice contracts to draft up. The two of you did your work in comfortable silence for a while, Jack occasionally asking you to help him read the instructions of his worksheet.
“Done!” Jack exclaimed proudly after a while, holding his packet of papers high in the air.
Just in time, too, because if you had to do any more criminal tax litigation work, you were going to pull out your hair from boredom. There was only so much corporate fraud you could read about in one sitting.
“With all of your homework?” you clarified, and he nodded so fast that he looked like a full-on bobblehead. “Good job, dude!”
“Did you finish your homework so that we can play?” he asked you.
“Yup, I’m all done,” you lied. Your paper wasn’t due for another week, anyway. “So what do you want to play?”
Jack tapped his finger on his chin as he thought about it. You were aware that you didn’t have much in the way of kid’s toys, but you had stuff to color or paint or play board games, and you were confident enough in your imagination to come up with a game if it came down to that. Jack looked around and suddenly his eyes got wide and he pointed to your Switch.
“Do you have Mario Kart?” he asked hopefully. “Can we play that?”
“That sounds like fun, let’s do that,” you told him, making your way to set up the console. “I’ll even let you be player one.”
Jack was practically bouncing up and down in his seat now. “I’m really good at this game. I can even beat my uncle Dave!”
You laughed as the two of you picked your characters. Jack chose Yoshi, a solid choice, and you went with Toad. “You can beat your Uncle Dave? Wow, that’s impressive. I have to warn you, though, I’m also very good at this game. Do you think you can beat me?” you teased.
“Definitely,” Jack challenged, and the game began.
The two of you played for a little while, and Jack’s mind was blown when you told him about the shortcuts on each track. After about three cups and you telling him where every shortcut you knew was, the 7-year-old was starting to get antsy just sitting, so you decided to switch gears.
You brought out some leftover paints and canvases you had from a paint night with your friends, and you and Jack laid on the floor and did some painting, although you were not prepared for how messy it would get. Somehow, Jack ended up with his fingertips covered in blue paint, and you had a streak of green on your cheek from where you mindlessly brushed hair from out of your face. As you placed the artwork to the side to dry, Jack had already decided on the next game - the floor is lava.
Before you even realized it, three hours had passed and it was time to make dinner. Jack chose pizza, which you luckily already had in your freezer. The game was still going, but you and Jack agreed that the kitchen was the only safe place without lava, considering there were too many dangerous things in that vicinity.
Babysitting Jack was easier than you expected, and much more fun. Even in his more playful moments, Aaron was always a little bit guarded and on edge, so you had a hard time imagining what his child would be like. A weird part of you almost imagined a mini adult in a child-sized suit and a briefcase full of fruit snacks and crackers, as ridiculous as it sounded. But Jack was just like any other 7-year-old - goofy, a little loud, and excited about the world.
You wondered if Aaron was like that as a kid, or if that part of Jack’s personality came from his mom. Maybe Jack was a mini version of his mom. Now that you had gotten the tiniest taste of Aaron’s home life, you found yourself craving to know more, to see Aaron in dad-mode.
Selfishly, you also wanted Aaron to watch you interact with Jack, just to see his reaction. It was a gamble and you realized it. Best case scenario, Aaron would be able to breathe a little bit easier. There wouldn’t be that half second of awkward silence between the two of you every time he mentioned Jack’s name. That stupid guilt you felt so often would dissipate because, hey, you met Jack and now that was out of the way.
On the other hand, everything could come crashing down. Aaron could walk in, see you with Jack, and immediately regret his decision and regret you. It would solidify in both of your minds that you were no more than somebody he could call and fuck when he felt himself on the verge of breaking down. Any self-imposed importance you had placed on yourself in Aaron’s life, no matter how small it was (and it was pretty small), would be a lie. He had a shorter temper now than before, and maybe this would be the exact thing that would set him off.
You didn’t want that, of course, but you really did want to know what would happen, to see where you stood with him. Call it morbid curiosity.
You were pulling the pizza out of the oven when you heard the knock on the door. “Coming!” you called.
“Don’t touch the lava!” Jack reminded you from his spot on the coffee table, just as you were about to leave the kitchen. Your method of movement to and from the kitchen was the rolling chair from your desk and a broom so that you could push yourself where you needed to go, which you had to justify to Jack as being a lava boat.
You “rowed” yourself over the door and looked in the peephole. Aaron was on the other side, nervously rubbing his thumb over the rest of his fingers. It took some work, but you were able to open the door without falling off the chair.
“Hey, I know you,” you greeted Aaron, but your smile fell when you took in his appearance. His whole body was tensed up, like a rubberband about to snap. He didn’t have his tie or blazer on, and the cuffs of his shirt were undone.
“Dad!” Jack shouted, waving excitedly.
“Hi, buddy.” Aaron smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was scanning the room, studying the scene in front of him. Aaron’s expression slowly shifted to confusion as Jack bounded across your furniture to get closer to his dad. “Jack, what are you doing on the table?” Aaron’s eyes shifted to where you were, noticing for the first time that you were kneeling on a rolling chair, holding onto the broom like a trident. “And why do you two have paint on you?”
“The floor is lava,” you explained nonchalantly.
“And you’re going to get burned!” Jack pointed out.
You chuckled and swiveled your chair so that you could get a better look at Jack. “How about we give your dad a minute to find a spot, okay dude?” You turned back to Aaron, lowering your voice. “The kitchen is a safe zone, if you don’t want to have to crawl around on furniture.”
Aaron frowned, and you could see the wheels turning in his brain. “No, I should take Jack home anyways,” he finally said. “You’ve helped enough today and I don’t want to impose.”
“You’re not imposing,” you insisted. “Besides, we just made a pizza that I’m not going to be able to eat by myself. Come in, have dinner. You look like you need it.”
He really did. You were certain that he hadn’t eaten anything the entire time he was at the jail. He looked exhausted, too, and it was taking every bit of his energy to keep his usual stoic and stony composure.
Aaron wanted to argue, but instead, let out a resigned sigh. “Thank you. You, uh, said that the kitchen was a safe zone?”
“Mhm, and you might want to hurry because Jack is in it to win. Already tried to sabotage my chair boat.”
While Aaron’s face remained emotionless, his gaze softened as he stepped into your apartment. “Jack, did you have fun with Y/N?” he asked, making his way to the kitchen.
Jack hopped from the coffee table to the couch and onto a trail of pillows he had made. “Yeah! She taught me how to cheat in Mario Kart!”
You rolled your way back to the kitchen, chuckling sheepishly. “Shortcuts aren’t cheating, it’s playing smart,” you defended.
Jack just giggled and continued to animatedly tell Aaron about his day at school as you each started to dig into dinner. Well, Jack and you dug into the pizza, while Aaron took all off two bites and pushed his plate to the side. You had originally thought that it was the interview that caused Aaron’s tenseness, but you realized with a start that Aaron was completely focused on you. He was watching you curiously, like you had subtly changed your appearance and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what was different.
He was just intrigued by your interaction with Jack as you had been with Jack and Jessica’s interactions. You had thought that he was going to make a snap judgment and decide if he was ever going to want to see you again the second he saw you with Jack, but he was taking his time. He was profiling you.
“Hey Jack,” you interjected once he finished eating. “Your dad and I are going to do dishes, but I need you to do me a big favor. I can’t win Bowser’s Castle no matter how hard I try. Do you think you could do that race for me while we clean up?”
Aaron looked at you in confusion, but you kept your eyes on Jack, who was all too happy to have an excuse to get out of cleaning and go back to playing video games. He practically bounced back into the living room, leaving you and Aaron alone.
“Do you want something to drink?” you offered. Aaron was watching your every movement, studying you carefully. “I have tea, coffee… Irish coffee, if it’s that kind of night.” You added the last part as an afterthought, only partially joking.
The corner of Aaron’s mouth twitched upwards so subtly that if you weren’t looking for it, you wouldn’t have even noticed. “No thank you,” he answered formally.
You mindlessly traced circles on the tabletop with your finger, keeping your eyes downcast. You knew you couldn’t just outright ask what was on his mind, he’d never answer truthfully. “Do I want to know what that creep did to be put on death row?” you asked, keeping your voice as indifferent as possible..
Aaron shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell you even if you did,” he admitted and the two of you fell into silence again. It was the answer you had pretty much come to expect from him.
Despite the fact that, as a lawyer, you’d have to hear about all these awful things and see the evidence, Aaron tried to shield you from his work. He didn’t talk about cases, didn’t glamorize the work he did the way some younger agents would. In all the time you’ve known him, you could count the number of criminals you knew he took down on your fingers, and some of those were only because you learned about them in class.
That was fine. You didn’t want Aaron to have to bring that to your bed, not when you were supposed to be his distraction from all that mess. And what a fun distraction you were.
Aaron looked at his watch, effectively ending the conversation. “We should go, it’s getting late. Thank you for watching Jack. And for dinner.”
You paused, debating your next move. “It’s no problem,” you said sincerely. “And if you need anything else from me… I’ll be awake for a while.” You let your offer hang in the air for a few moments, watching as Aaron seemed to be weighing options in his head, you just didn’t know what those options were.
You were just about to rescind your offer when he opened his mouth to speak. “Are you sure you don’t want any compensation?”
You waved off his offer. “I’m positive.”
Aaron shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “Then let me buy you dinner sometime this week. It’s the least I can do.”
You paused, trying to keep your expression as neutral as possible. Aaron had never made an offer like this before, never took steps towards anything that could push this into something even remotely considered a relationship. It was easy to explain the constant sex. You could even justify the lingering morning-afters or the nights spent hunched over your textbooks while Aaron wordlessly refilled your coffee cup without you having to even ask by claiming that it all happened organically. It’s not like the two of you planned to stay up and debate the lost history of the term “beyond a reasonable doubt”. It just sort of happened, and who were you to turn down free coffee?
Anything more would complicate the carefully curated system, and neither of you had the time or energy for complicated.
Despite every logical bone in your body screaming at you to walk away and leave while you were ahead, you couldn’t help the soft “Yeah, I’d really like that,” that slipped past your lips.
You could have sworn Aaron smiled at your answer, but he didn’t say anything more.
The two of you walked back to your living room in silence. “Alright buddy,” Aaron called, ruffling Jack’s hair. “It’s time for us to head home. Say thank you to Y/N.”
Jack pouted as he exited the game. “Can Y/N watch me again soon? Please? It was fun!”
“We’ll have to see, she might be busy,” Aaron mused, looking at you so that he could gauge your reaction. It was enough of an answer to not crush Jack’s hopes, but vague enough that it gave you room to deny the offer. He was letting you choose how much you wanted to be around Jack, if you wanted to be around him at all.
You grinned down at Jack and held out your hand for a high five, which he took as an invitation to try and slap your hand as hard as he could. How could you say no to him? “Of course I can watch you again. I’ll even have Legos next time.”
For the first time that night, Aaron gave you a real smile, one that you could actually see. It was small, but it was genuine. “Thank you again. Goodnight, Y/N,” he told you and Jack echoed the sentiment, waving at you as they walked out the door.
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x y/n#jack hotchner#my writing#my best habit
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PatB AU: Pinky the Snowmouse
This is just one of those late night ideas that I wanted to post. It’s somewhat based off that Frosty the Snowman special from the 60s with a dash of Pinocchio.
I haven’t actually watched either of these recently. My subconscious is just weird.
1. After his fallout with Snowball, Brain continues to aspire for world domination, but finds that he’s hit a block when it comes to plans. He doesn’t have inspiration nor anyone to bounce ideas off with, but he tries to push past it and just continue creating. There’s bound to be a gem or two amidst all the duds, he tells himself. And he doesn’t need anyone else, he can rule the world on his own.
2. ACME Labs hosts a Christmas party, and they invite a magician for entertainment. Brain is in his cage, brainstorming ideas for world domination while the scientists gather around for the magician’s performance. Brain knows magic is all just sleight of hand and optical illusions, and rolls his eyes at the magician failing to even manage that. The scientists all mock the magician, and their laughter grows more when the magician fails to pull a rabbit out of his hat.
3. The magician is laughed out of ACME Labs, and he swears revenge against all the scientists who work there. But he left his top hat on a table by Brain’s cage, and he doesn’t notice until later that night. ACME Labs closes, and Brain escapes his cage, glad that the party is finally over so he can get back to planning properly.
4. But loneliness creeps up on Brain again, and he tries to dismiss it as the reason he can’t concentrate. So he goes outside, where a thick layer of snow has covered the ground. He starts kicking around snow and eventually builds a snowmouse, wondering if he’s gone mad since he’s partaking in an activity that’s usually reserved for children and not future emperors.
5. He builds the snowmouse’s body first, using a stick for a tail and fashioning the head. Then he decides it’s missing some prerequisites to be a proper snowman, so he goes inside and gathers a bunch of buttons, a pink scarf, and lastly, the magician’s hat. He goes back to the snowmouse and dresses him up, then tosses on the hat as a finisher.
6. And boy, if Brain felt ridiculous before then now it was tripled since he decided to dress up the snowmouse like it was a real entity. He angrily starts berating himself for being distracted and that he needs to focus, because he can’t be like all those other scientists.
He declares that their collective minds are nothing compared to the intelligence in his pinky, and a voice answers ‘yes?’
7. Brain thinks he’s just hearing things, then the voice goes ‘oh, i thought you called my name. Narf!’
Then Brain turns around and freaks out, because holy crap the snowmouse he built was alive and talking. Brain dismisses it as a figment of his imagination at first, but as the newly christened Pinky the snowmouse displays a rather glaring lack of intelligence, he can’t help but be curious about how snow can come to life. He circles Pinky and tries to figure it out, taking off the magic hat, and Pinky goes still and silent. Brain quickly puts the hat on Pinky again, and soon the snowmouse is dancing around once more.
8. Unbeknownst to either of them, the magician saw the hat bring Pinky to life and decides he can profit off the hat, then follows the two mice.
9. Pinky gets distracted and wanders into town with Brain trailing after him and making sure Pinky’s stupidity and lack of awareness about the world doesn’t kill them both. To Brain’s dismay, he finds that Pinky takes in pop culture much faster than he does at science. It’s pretty ironic that Pinky already knows who Mariah Carrey is despite being alive for less than an hour, but he believes snowflakes are manufactured in an eco-friendly factory in the clouds.
10. Pinky sees a pair of lovers hugging, then tries to do the same with Brain. Unfortunately, all this does is make Brain shiver with cold, and Pinky feels bad for hurting him like that. Brain shouts at him for hugging, but when Pinky apologizes, Brain realizes it was just an accident and tells him not to do it again.
11. Pinky notices that images of Santa are plastered all over the place since it’s the holiday season, and wishes he could meet the big guy. This leads into inspiration for Brain to create his own line of toys and plant them in the elf factory for mass production and distribution. Brain praises Pinky for the inspiration.
12. Brain creates the Noodle Noggin plans and together the mice stow away in a plane bound for the North Pole. However, it’s necessary for Pinky to stay in cold temperatures, so they have to remain in the cargo hold and away from the heated cockpit. Brain is freezing despite being dressed for cold weather, and Pinky feels bad for not being able to keep him warm. Pinky says he wishes he could be a real mouse like Brain, so that he can be his friend forever.
Brain thinks the headaches Pinky gave him were pretty real, but the companionship and kindness were real too. He keeps quiet about this, unsure of what to say.
13. The magician has also stowed away on the plane.
14. The plane lands at the North Pole, and the mice head to the elf factory. They discover Pinky can’t enter the elf factory since it’s heated, so Brain goes in alone to slip the Noodle Noggin plans in with the other blueprints, while Pinky wanders off and explores the North Pole settlement.
15. Before Brain can successfully slip the blueprints in, the magician ambushes and successfully captures him, and the Noodle Noggin plans are torn beyond saving in the struggle. Angered at the loss of his plans, Brain demands the magician explain himself. The magician declares he gets a two for one profit, with a talking mouse and a magic hat, then realizes the snowmouse is missing and demands to know where he is.
16. Without the hat, Pinky can’t stay alive. Brain refuses to reveal Pinky’s location for any reason, and the magician tries to force it out of him. Brain is stubborn though and refuses to speak.
17. Pinky finishes wandering around the village and goes back to check on Brain, thinking he’s taking an awfully long time in the elf factory. He peeks in through a window, discovering that a man is hurting a very distressed Brain, who’s still resisting.
18. Pinky shouts for Brain, and gets the magician’s attention. Brain yells at him for drawing attention to himself, ordering him to run. But Pinky won’t do it, because Brain is in trouble and needs help.
19. The magician demands Pinky give up the magic hat. But Pinky will only give up the hat if he releases Brain. The magician agrees, but Brain knows full well that the magician is far too greedy and will go back on his word, and Pinky is giving up the hat and his life for a promise that won’t be kept.
20. With Brain in hand, the magician walks over to a fireplace and tells Pinky to come inside. The fireplace is bright and warm, and Brain orders Pinky to just leave, because the heat will kill him if he doesn’t. Pinky starts to melt as he comes closer, telling Brain it’s okay, he’s happy they’re friends, even if their time together was brief.
21. When Pinky is in front of the fireplace, the magician snatches the hat off his head, and renders Pinky lifeless. Reveling in victory, the magician releases Brain who hugs and begs Pinky to wake up and stop being stupid, just wake up and say narf, Pinky. Except Pinky can’t see or hear anymore, and is nothing more than cold, melting water with a few accessories. Brain is left crying and pleading for Pinky to come back, clutching a wet scarf in his hands. The magician mocks Brain for believing that a pile of snow had thoughts and feelings.
22. But the magician’s joy is cut short at Santa Claus’s sudden appearance. Angry that someone could take such mirth in murdering an innocent creature and cause so much grief in his best friend, Santa orders his elves to tie up the magician and take him away. The elves obey, and the magician is reduced to a pathetic mess.
23. Brain barely notices the commotion. Santa decides to grant Brain one Christmas wish, just to give him a little comfort. And Brain ponders, knowing that he journeyed all this way for world domination, and while he can easily cut a lot of hassle by using his wish to make himself ruler of the world...he remembers Pinky’s sacrifice.
Pinky’s compassion. Pinky’s kindness. How Pinky provided the inspiration he needed.
Brain admits to Santa that even if Pinky was made of snow, he still had the warmest heart he’d ever known.
24. Brain asks if it’s possible for Pinky to be revived with a body to reflect his warm heart.
25. Santa grants the wish. The puddle that used to be Pinky reshapes and forms into a living, breathing mouse with the softest, warmest fur imaginable. Pinky marvels at his new body and the mice have their first proper hug. Brain is overjoyed at Pinky being alive again, and Pinky is happy to be a real mouse at last.
26. Santa lets the mice ride home in his sleigh (Pinky falls in love with Donner on the way home and Brain learns what jealousy is for the first time and hopes to god they don’t get invited to any Donner parties). Meanwhile all the elves are sobbing with their hot cocoa, marshmallows, and candy canes while watching all the drama unfold on their security feed because this is the best Christmas drama they’ve seen in years.
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The Neanderthal Man
Since I'm taking a break from fishmen, I might as well let Bigfoot catch up a bit. The Neanderthal Man isn't exactly a Bigfoot movie, but it’s along the same lines and its entire starring cast has MST3K pedigrees. Robert Shayne was in Indestructible Man and Teenage Caveman. Richard Crane was Rocky Jones, Space Ranger! Beverly Garland was in Swamp Diamonds and Gunslinger. Even the composer, Albert Glasser, wrote music for Invasion USA, Last of the Wild Horses, and almost all of MST3K’s Bert I. Gordon movies.
Some little mountain town in the middle of the Sierras (which the Portentous 50's Narrator takes some trouble to tell us is a primeval place where 'the defacing hand of civilization has fallen but lightly') is having a rash of saber-toothed tiger sightings! At first these are laughed off, but when the game warden himself sees one cross the road in the middle of the night, it's time to do something about it. The warden shows a cast pawprint to Dr. Ross Harkness in Los Angeles, who is interested enough to come up and see for himself. Local Mad Scientist Dr. Groves pooh-poohs the whole thing, which is enough to tell me that we're not dealing with a local cryptid here. Somebody is making prehistoric monsters.
So... I may not have actually run out of movies, but I seem to be running out of plots, because this is a remarkably similar movie to Monster on the Campus. The major difference between the two films is that Dr. Blake turned himself into a caveman by accident, while Dr. Groves here is doing it on purpose.
Another difference is that Monster on the Campus' story, while silly, was linear – events escalated in a way that felt logical, and there were reasons why things happened when and where they did. By contrast, The Neanderthal Man feels like a first draft. At the beginning of the film, we're dealing with the saber-toothed tigers that Groves has been creating by injecting cats with his de-evolution serum. We hear about these slaughtering game and livestock, and it seems like only a matter of time before they move on to human beings. The beginning of the film is quite upfront about the fact that Groves is responsible, too, as it is only mildly mysterious in its depiction of one of the creatures escaping his lab.
Sometimes the saber-tooths are represented by an actual tiger, usually filmed from behind or at a great distance so nobody has to put the prosthetic teeth on it. They do have prosthetic teeth, but they're only visible in a couple of shots. Imagine being at a bar and some guy tells you his job is sticking fake fangs on real tigers for a caveman movie! For close-ups, there's a hilarious puppet head that looks like the sort of thing you'd see mounted on a frat house wall as a joke. The director had the sense not to linger on this in motion shots, but later we see still photographs Groves has supposedly taken of his experimental subjects and they're even stupider-looking than we imagined.
Anyway, this goes on for a while with rising action, as the game warden goes to get Harkness and they manage to shoot one of the animals, only to have it vanish from the kill site when they try to show it to Groves (the movie never bothers to explain how that happened, incidentally. The ending suggests that the creatures change back when they die, but there's definitely no dead kitty cat at the scene, either). The whole movie could easily have just had the cats and their creator as the antagonists, perhaps even ending the same way as Dr. Groves proves his work to the other characters by injecting himself. That's not what happens, though. Instead, the story mostly forgets about the cats one we find out Groves has also been carrying on human experiments.
(Before himself, Groves' first experimental subject was his disabled Latina housekeeper. Another series of photos show her half-transformed into a cavewoman who for some reason is wearing drag queen false eyelashes. And as long as I'm talking about the movie being gross and bigoted, there's a bit where a woman is violently raped. This happens off camera, but the audience is not allowed to entertain any illusions about it.)
The problem is that before we see him give himself an injection in the arm, we have had absolutely no indication that Groves has been giving his serum to anything besides the cats! Cats are stealthy, cryptic creatures and if one of those has been seen wandering around killing things, then surely a full-on caveman beating people to death would not be able to stay out of sight! If what we were seeing were the first time Groves had tried the formula on himself then that would be an explanation, but his notes reveal that he's been doing it for so long that he's on the verge of losing control of the transformation and permanently reverting to a pre-human status, as indeed he does for the climax. Much like the stupid dinosaur in The Beast of Hollow Mountain, the movie's main monster is given no build-up whatsoever!
There's worse yet, though. The main characters, Dr. Harkness and Groves' daughter Jan, are barely involved in the 'caveman' part of the plot. They get phone calls about the various murders that Groves is committing in caveman form, and they snoop around the lab to figure out things the audience already knows. The same story could have been told without them, perhaps with the game warden and the hunter as protagonists, and it would probably have been more interesting. The script also repeatedly has Dr. Groves wander in and bluster about how the tiger sightings are hallucinations and tall tales, which seems a little unnecessary when we already know he's responsible. The film-makers can't seem to decide whether they want us to know that or not.
Dr. Groves wears glasses. Maybe the reason his primitive alter-ego is angry and breaking shit (although it does politely open and close the window it climbs out of, which made me laugh) is because it can't see. This is also my theory about why the Hulk smashes, and what do you know? In Avengers Endgame he's got Hulk-sized spectacles and only smashes when he's told!
The direction of The Neanderthal Man can probably best be described as 'serviceable'. It shows us what's going on, but doesn't particularly add anything to the proceedings. The 'Neanderthal' mask is immobile and uninteresting, not much better than somebody's Party City Sasquatch costume. Even the eyes are just painted on, meaning the poor guy in the costume can’t do much because he can’t see where he’s going.
The dialogue is often very strange, with characters talking like they're in a Jules Verne novel. If only one person did this, it might seem like a character quirk – it works for Dr. Groves, for example – but it's everybody. Seeing the cat carcass is gone, Harkness declares, “I refuse to believe in the supernatural! There must be some logical cause and effect to this unholy adventure!” Groves' fiancee Ruth berates him for ignoring her, saying, “I want you, the man I once knew! The good companion, the cheerful friend. I want the happiness we once found in each other.” It's bizarre to listen to, and often audibly awkward for the actors.
Monster on the Campus was kind of trying to be about how humanity must choose to evolve away from our inner savage, although the finale didn't bear that out. There's a scene in The Neanderthal Man in which this movie seems to be trying to go in the opposite direction, saying that we were never savage to begin with. Dr. Groves is speaking to a panel of scientists about the size of the brain in various 'primitive' species of human. He points out that by the time we reached Homo erectus we were already working with four times the cerebral jelly of a chimpanzee, and argues that our ancestors would have been recognizably human in their behaviour and problem-solving capacity.
(Amusingly, his chart of human evolution includes Piltdown Man, which was proven to be a hoax literally a few months after this movie's release. What makes this even more tragic for the writers is that their list of primitive humans seems to be the only place where they actually did any research.)
The problem with Dr. Groves' theory is that he already knows it's wrong. We soon learn that he's been experimenting on himself with his serum for a while already, and his notes show that he knows very well he regresses into a near-mindless animal. The movie does not even try to reconcile these ideas. If Groves were continuing his experiments in the hope that perfecting his serum would give him a more accurate reconstruction of ancient man, that would be one thing, but the script never goes there.
So now that we've had two 'man turns into caveman by injecting science juice' movies, of course I have to ask which one is better. Monster on the Campus wasn't a good movie but it was definitely an improvement on The Neanderthal Man in several respects, and although I don't have any way to find out for certain, I suspect it was an intentional remake. It's definitely more entertaining and gets bonus points for including the Meganeura dragonfly, but nothing in it is nearly as funny as The Neanderthal Man's fake tiger head. I guess if you're gonna watch one or the other, stick to Monster on the Campus, but if you're gonna watch both, start with The Neanderthal Man and do them in chronological order, the better to spot the inspirations and references.
Before I go, a fun paleontology fact: current thinking is that the saber-toothed cat's eponymous fangs actually didn't show when it had its mouth closed! There are zero cave paintings or ancient sculptures of a saber-tooth cat with teeth visible, and when scientists looked at the structure of the enamel in the canines, it suggested that in life the teeth were hidden by big, fleshy, St Bernard jowls. Google 'smilodon lips' and behold how this looks fully three hundred percent more ridiculous than you're imagining. I love nature.
#mst3k#reviews#episodes that never were#the neanderthal man#tw: rape#50s#curiously caucasian cavepeople
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Do Angels giggle?
Warning: Mentioned death of multiple people, a teeny tiny bit of angst, swearing, but otherwise you should be fine Word count: 4k (sis snapped again)(I should really stop doing this tbh) Summary: A rumor of an angel kidnapping criminals and leads them to a path of justice and Jason is on the suspects track. He hasn’t expected to be caught and he surely hasn’t expected what met him there...
This was requested by @middevil465: 'Babe did you fall from heaven bc you seem to be a chaotic ever shifting sphere of eyes & wings making a sound not of this earth and I’m kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying' with jason x reader
Jason really didn't plan on this to happen. He didn't plan on getting caught while spying on the current suspect in a case of criminals disappearing only to re-appear with no memory of what happened and babbling of being lead to a better life by an angel. And he certainly didn't plan to end up in a warehouse that was decorated with a clearly religious altar and other things that heavily reminded him of the church. The only thing that wasn't church-y was the fact that he was tied to a - honestly not uncomfortable - chair in front of the altar. The worst fact was that he, too, couldn't remember how he ended up here. He had some flashes of memories, about how Bruce assigned him to the case, about how he found a man that all the criminals who found themselves 'victim' had met sometime before their disappearance and how he'd found and followed him before he blacked out.
And now he was here. He wasn't really afraid as much as he was concerned and curious about what was going to happen next. Bruce could easily track him as soon as he noticed he wasn't answering so there was also not much reason to try to escape before he knew what was going on here or if he was in any serious danger. Jason wasn't sure what to expect. Tortue, drugging, brainwashing? He knew the man must have some kind of secret weapon that made him able to re-write these criminals to his liking, but he wasn't quite sure why. Everyone in the cave had different theories. Bruce and Dick thought that he maybe got information about their 'businesses', deleted the memory and sold the info, Damian and (surprisingly enough) Tim thought that the criminals had been involved in something bigger, all of them involved somehow, and the person (or people) who hunted them down and changed their memories and life choices, were on a hunt for information. Steph and Cass had agreed that it was a cult or a conspiracy and Barbara had said that she wouldn't make any theories just yet, or rather not reveal hers. Jason had a more sinister thought though. He knew about the criminal world better than most others in his family, once having been a big part of it too, and he thought that whoever was able to do this, was slowly building an empire, first taking out smaller criminals, snitches and errand boys, maybe as to test their methods, before going for the big fish and re-writing them to take over their territory. It was honestly a good plan, but the fam wasn't really happy about it. Having an enemy that could delete and rewrite memories and demeanours could be a real threat. That was why Jason needed to find out how they did it. But he didn't see anything in the warehouse room that would implicate what they used for their plan, only all that church stuff, and Jason considered that it was probably something to harden the illusion that it was an angel who showed them the 'light'.
"I've seen thou have been awakened, man in the blooded hood," a male voice echoed through the large space and bounced off the walls. The man he had followed stepped in front of him in a robe that reminded him of a monk. "It's crimson, bitch," Jason snarkily responded and couldn't help the smirk on his face, but it didn't seem to even slightly faze him. "Many have found the devil in their words in this city, but we, the church of hope and new ways, have made it our mission to bring thou, wrongdoers, to a path of justice and good, to a path of the angel." So Cass and Stephanie were right after all? A cult, really? "So that's all very noble and all, at least in theory, but ya know, I'm kinda on your side. With hunting and jailing criminals and all that jazz." "Thou words are full of sin that thou not even recognize, but don't fret, we will free you of them, free you of the devil within and bring you on a path of belief and light, we will bring thou to face with the angel that hath shown us the way too." Now that was next-level crazy, Jason thought and rolled his eyes under his still worn helmet. "Well, knock yourself out," he sighed and leaned back in the chair. Seemingly listening to Jason, the man disappeared through a door and suddenly all the lights in the room went out, leaving Jason in complete darkness, unable to turn on the night vision in his helmet. He heard another door on the other side opening and light steps echoed through the room, but whoever came in didn't make any other sounds but that. Then he was blinded by the brightest light he had most likely ever seen and what his eyes saw when the light simmered down a bit and he got used to the brightness made him freeze to the core. The words that left his mouth next were the result of habit more than thought, but he said them nonetheless: "Babe did you fall from heaven because you seem to be a chaotic ever-shifting sphere of eyes and wings making a sound not of this earth and I'm kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying." He wasn't wrong though. In front of him was, in fact, actually an ever-shifting sphere of eyes and wings that was making sounds that were clearly not human, neither anything that he had ever heard off-world and even though Jason was by no means religious, he had heard enough about how the angels in the bible were described to identify this thing in front of him as an angel. Suddenly the ever so brave, fearless and cocky Jason Todd stared at that being in front of him and his hidden face was drawn by fear and terror. He could deal with torture and pain, he could deal with technology and drugs, but he couldn't deal with whatever would be happening next. What would be happening next? Well, whatever it was that he expected, it sure as hell wasn't what happened. The sphere that he feared more than he had feared anything in the last years started to giggle. GIGGLE! Do Angel's even giggle? How would I ever know if angels giggle? The glow died down and the shifting intensified, the eyes were closing and drawing together, the wings merging too until there was only one pair left and the sphere turned into a different form, something longer and more humanly shaped, until it did a final change and turned into a girl. And what a girl she was. Jason's breath was stolen by her and the atmosphere surrounding her. She looked stunning in every sense of the word, from the Y/S/C skin that was basically glowing with angelic shine, her hair that was somehow looking like a halo even though it was nothing like one and her face that seemed to be sculptured by whoever created this hellhole called life themselves. And don't let him get started on the pair off wings that she was still sporting on her back. It was quite honestly gigantic. So big that its lowest part was reaching the floor and the highest part was still a few inches higher than her head. He could imagine that they would fill out the entire room if she was to stretch them out and the thought alone made him somewhat fuzzy in his head. He wished he could describe their colour, but he was sure that it was none of the ones he had ever seen on any planet, ever, he wasn't even sure if his eyes should be humanly able to comprehend the colour and yet there he sat looking at them. He was so impressed by these celestial limbs that he didn't even notice the fact that the girl was, in fact, completely naked. But even if he'd notice it, he wouldn't have seen her body as something sexual. The way she was moving like it was completely natural would more likely make him feel ridiculous for ever thinking of a naked body as something as intimate. And then her voice. Her voice was even more divine than anything else, making his whole body tense up and relax simultaneously. "You are full of darkness, but your darkness is unlike anything else they have shown me," she stated matter-of-factly and she came close to him, rounding him a few times with curiosity in her eyes, "And not just your insides are different than the ones they showed me, your head seems to have a sort of protective shell, how magnificent." Is she talking about my helmet? Does she think it is a part of me? "Uhm, Miss Angel, that isn't a part of my body, it's removable," he said, surprised that he was even able to talk with his heart basically having stopped beating. Her eyes widened in child-like wonder and she kneeled down in front of him, her wings spreading out slightly beside her to accommodate the change in height. "Would it be okay if I were to take it off?" she asked in innocence that Jason has quite honestly never seen before. "Uhm, sure," Jason answered, completely having forgotten the whole reason that he was here in the first place. Her delicate hands slowly found their way to were his helmet laid over his ears and she looked into the general direction of were his eyes were, her Y/E/C orbs seemingly shifting colour every time she moved even an inch. "I'll try to be careful," she hummed and started trying to get it off, changing her tactic ever so often when she noticed that it wasn't working, but instead of telling her what to do, Jason just looked at the angel and couldn't find any words. Finally, after about two minutes, she managed to pull it off and carefully laid it down beside the chair, before finally leading her gaze to his now, except for the domino mask, uncovered face. She didn't say anything, just bringing her hands up to his face and tracing it, including every scar, no matter how little, and every edge. Even though he had been in awe before, now he could almost comprehend why the criminals changed their ways, hell, at that moment he'd burn the city down without hesitation if she'd asked for it. Finally, her fingers wandered over the edges of his mask and when he gave her a small nod of consent, she somehow managed to peel it off and free his eyes for her to see. He didn't mind that she now knew what he looked like, that she could now identify him, but to be honest, he didn't think much about it, too caught up in that moment and that moment only. Their eyes met in a moment of complete silence whit the only sound present in Jason's head was the pounding of his heart and the rushing of his blood. "You are really unlike the others aren't you?" her voice broke that moment, but he somehow knew that he wasn't expected to answer. For a few heartbeats, the two off them stayed in place, before the angel ruffled her feathers, the sound echoing through the warehouse, like dozens of birds flying away. She raised back to her full size, her wings folding back to where they had originally been. "Tell me, why do my saviours want me to bring you to the light? I can see that it is already in you, it may be clouded and darkened, but it is there," she asked him and her hand was cupping his cheek in an act that seemed unnoticed by herself as if she was doing it unconsciously. Jason wasn't quite sure how to respond to that question, but he noticed something else in what she said, something that formed confusion in him. "Your saviours? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" "How do you mean that?" the angel asked with honest naive confusion written over her face as she cocked her head to the side and folded her hand in front of her bare stomach. "Well, uh, I'm no expert by any means, but you're an angel right?" She nodded but kept quiet as if that question didn't give her a clue as to what he meant. "Uhm... Angels are creatures sent by God and...uhm...they are over humans, right? So how is that guy and whoever he works with your saviour? Is he Jesus or something?" What she answered was something he didn't even remotely expect. "Who?" "Jesus? Your Boss's son? God sent messiah to free all humans? Allegedly forgave us for our sins and got killed for that?" Jason rambled and tried to count down everything he still remembered. The angle put her hand in front of her mouth in shock at his words. "That sounds horrible, is he okay?" she asked in a tone that made it pretty clear to Jason that she did, first of all, not know who Jesus was, and second, had no idea what killing actually meant. "Uhm, sure, he's great, somewhere up there with his dad, I guess," Jason just shrugged, not really caring about that topic anymore and more focusing on all the facts about her being an angel that didn't add up. "Can you tell me about yourself?" he just boldly asked her, but it didn't seem to phase her at all, in fact, she brightened up at the possibility to tell him about her. "Uhm, I can't tell you much, but I was saved by the church of hope and new ways when they found me after what they called a miracle, they took care of me and explained to me that I was sent to them to be their tool to re-shape the world," she explained with a somewhat proud undertone, but Jason's feeling got cemented. The feeling that she had actually no idea what was going on around her and what she was used to do, and the feeling that she may not really be the sort of angel he, and seemingly she, believed she was. "Re-shape the world?" he investigated further, a small voice muttering theories in the back of his head. "Mhm," she nodded and her right wing folded itself slightly in front of her as if she was nervous or shy, "They bring men who are filled with darkness and they have me look into them, look if they have light and make me watch their mind, then they have told me to bring them into the sun, I show them the way that they tell me is right, make them believe in the church." Her words were slightly wary and Jason could recognize the doubt in them. She wasn't doing this voluntarily... "Do you want to do that?" he asked to clarify things for himself, and maybe also her. Her eyes wandered to the door the mock-monk had disappeared in and Jason could have sworn he saw something like fear in them. "I- Uhm- Yes," she nodded, but couldn't look at the man in front of her, she had almost turned her whole body away from him. "I don't believe you." "Why?" her voice wasn't as childish and curious and innocent anymore, it was small and fragile. "I'm not sure, but I think they are lying to you, I think you aren't an angel. I mean, you're sure as hell no human, but you're not an angel, at least not one in the...uhm..traditional sense." This seemed to gain her attention in a way that had her turning around again and made her take a step towards him. "Do you really think so? Because... I have tried to tell them, but they said no to all my questions, they told me that I am the tool for the church, that that is my only task and that I would be lost without them, but I can see it in them too. The darkness, they tell me to turn into light, is in them too, but they don't let me change it, they tell me I must see something that isn't there... And not only that... I have memories, memories of the Miracle. I see flashes of other people, people that make my heartache, and flashes of a building, one that looked like this room here on the inside. "And then there are other flashes, flashes I have at nights when I'm resting, there are loud noises and heat is licking at my skin, at my back, at my whole body, and there are so many screams." She seemingly didn't find the connection between those memories, but Jason sure as hell did. It was mainly a theory at that point, but he believed that she had been at church with her family when it burned down, maybe there was magic involved or she had the meta-gen inside her, but while her family burned she must have turned into the angel she was now, losing most of her memory in the process. The people that must have found her and figured out of the great powers she had, had decided to use her for their own sinister plans and she was none the wiser, Jason couldn't know if she had always been that naive and innocent, but she was now and, even though he had only known her for a matter of maybe half an hour, she had grown on him if he was being honest. "Can you see into other people's heads? Can you read other people's memories too?" he asked, a small plan forming in his mind. She looked at him in thought, but she seemingly was somewhat intrigued. "I believe so, I have only done it one or two times." "Read my mind, read my memories," he almost commanded, but she was taken off for other reasons. "Why would you want me to do that? My saviours tell me that it isn't my place to do so..." "I know this is confusing and what you will see will shock you, but I hope you will be able to trust me after that, trust me to help you, get you out of here." The prospect of being away from her 'saviours' seemed to make her interested, but there was something else that she had to know beforehand. "Will you stay with me? Will you take me with you? I can't be alone, I don't know where to go, what to do, I can't- don't think that I can survive all alone," she looked away and he could see the fear and pain, of not knowing what the future would hold in her whole demeanour, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, but the restraints that were still binding him to the chair were keeping him from doing so. "If you don't want to be, you won't be alone, I will take you with me, we will go through this together, okay?" "Okay," she smiled slightly and came to him, her hands hovering over the rope around his chest and, in a for Jason surprising turn of event, her palms started glowing and the rope basically disintegrated leaving him free to stand up, having to physically restrain himself from holding her. "This won't be happening to me too?" he asked gesturing to what was still left off the rope. And she giggled again. God, he had almost forgotten how heavenly that giggle was. "No, I don't think it will," she said in a tone as if she was honestly questioning her statement, but before he could say anything about it her hands found themselves on the sides of his temple and the last thing that echoed through the room before the angel fell unconscious in his arms was her scream.
When the angel woke up she felt utterly exhausted. She had seen everything that had ever happened in Jason's life, including his death and every time he had killed, and she had felt it like she was it who experienced it. It had literally drained her, but Jason was correct, as she woke up again, she trusted him with her life and more. She knew him now. Possibly better than anyone else in the world. And not only that, when her eyes opened he was the first thing she saw. She was laying in his lap, something that was astounding enough considering the giant wings that were spread out beside her and partly over Jason, and somewhere along her time of being in his memories he had taken off his brown leather jacket and had put it on her and zipped it up, keeping the, in normal standards, intimate parts of her body hidden from sight. What the angel couldn't see were the bodies of the people who had, in Jason's opinion, used you for the past few months that were stacked in the backroom and, if he was lucky, not dead. "Sorry you had to see this, but I wanted for you to be able to completely trust me," Jason whispered, his hands caressing through her hands. "It's okay, I understand," she hummed back and they both knew that she meant more than just the statement about him wanting her to trust him. "Can we leave now?" "Of course," he smiled and helped her up, having been made aware earlier when she passed out that her wings added more to her body weight than he had anticipated, but that was to expect, they were robust and spread out almost twice as big as Jason in width. The angel, who Jason really needed to find a name for, had the wing on the side opposite of where Jason stood beside her, drawn in, but the one that was on his side was spread out behind him like a shield, curling around him slightly, but he just smiled and slightly shook his head at that. He honestly really didn't know what it was about the girl, his angel, or the whole situation itself, but a really small part of him wanted to believe that maybe there was something like a bigger picture, maybe not necessarily a god, but something that had brought them together, something that had wanted to make him know that the two of them knowing each other was meant to be.
#Jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#red hood x reader#dc x reader#batfamily#batfam x reader#batfam#fluff#angst#oneshot
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so uh, this is a whole monstrosity, but beneath the cut is a plotting call for the event! i have included all of my characters, sorted by location, with blurbs about what they will be doing and possible plots for them. they are just some ideas i came up with and are absolutely not limited to what i put down! anyway, toss this a like and i will hit you up to plot!
washington dc
asami sato / legend of korra / aware
recently aware and lowkey thankful cause she has more fighting memories from her real life. not actively running out and looking for a fight against these ridiculous creatures but she’s got a taser, real decent martial arts training, and a history of handling herself against much stronger enemies. she’ll be fine, probably looking for a place to bunker down and grabbing anyone who seems like they’re in danger as she goes. worried about korra cause she doesn’t have her memories so she doesn’t know if she can defend herself
plots: could help people. could bunker down with people. could fight monsters with people. could try and build some quick tnt to throw at monsters with people. could try and steal and hotwire a car to get away from monsters with people. lots of opportunities here it’s a party.
blue sargent / the raven cycle / aware
trying to keep out of the way. she doesn’t know if her powers will make the monsters more powerful, but she knows there’s a pretty solid chance and though she is feral enough to fight she doesn’t want to risk it. has a pocket knife and spite for defense but she is under five feet tall and absolutely should not try to take anything on. probably using the chaos as an excuse to steal convenience store tea
plots: someone trying to keep her out of fights. someone she’s bunkered down with. maybe someone with powers she can enhance who’s fighting or something that she helps.
ciel phantomhive / black butler / aware
he’s tiny and has asthma this is not an ideal situation for him. he does also have a gun but ciel isn’t stupid (most of the time) and definitely knows how to pick his battles. intelligence battles he can handle on his own but strength? absolutely not. will be trying to run and bunker down and potentially find someone who looks bigger and stronger than him to play the pity card of ‘i’m young and tiny and only have one eye’ to try and get some protection.
plots: we aren’t built for fighting so we’re running and bunkering down crew. ciel will be faking some kindness in this event because there’s powers in numbers and if it comes down to it he can trip someone else while running from a monster. someone protecting him like mentioned above. maybe someone who comes and saves his ungrateful ass. legit anything
donna benviento / resident evil / aware
girl is not a fighter. in the game she relies on illusions to fight ethan, which she will be using with any of the monsters possible in order to create escape routes for herself. will be searching for someone familiar since all the people she knows here can be fighters and she hopes like her enough to help her out.
plots: not the type to necessarily help anyone since she’s focused on helping herself, but could give some encouragement to someone else struggling. maybe someone who gets caught in a hallucination she intended for a monster just cause that would be wild.
entrapta / she-ra / unaware
she’s doing fine. this is the sort of woman who can make explosives on the go. not actively trying to fight monsters but not actively hiding either. she’s curious to an extreme fault and will be interested in all the weird things running around washington. though she knows it isn’t safe she desperately wants a sample and will be trying to find monster corpses or even something she can sneak up on to get one.
plots: someone trying to get her away from danger. someone hanging around her because even though she isn’t hiding she can blow up the monsters and seem safe. someone fighting monsters she’s latched onto planning to get a sample after they kill something
jaskier / the witcher / unaware
lmao he is not doing fine. even if he had his memories mans was a bard and though i think jaskier has a feral side that’s more for like bar fights than monsters. he’ll be working on hiding though he’s a little shit and won’t be able to stop himself from peaking out to try and get a story for a song from all of this. lowkey think he’ll run into a monster from the witcher and trigger some memories because i am ready to know some stuff if not everything.
plots: if anyone wants to offer this man any defense that would be cool. anyone he bunkers down with. someone stuck hearing his song ideas because he’ll probably be composing as he goes like an absolute fool. anyone who witnesses him get caught by a monster and have to stick with the defense of attempting to punch it in the face and run lol. i’m cool with whatever
karolina dean / marvel’s runaways / unaware
though she is unaware karolina is luckily aware of her powers and will be using them to get herself through this. her powers aren’t reallysomething she uses often and they do cause her to become exhausted after extended use so that’s definitely a possible problem.
plots: asdfaldsfkj
lavender brown / harry potter / aware
just thinking about the last time monsters came to life in the city and is very unhappy about it. mostly trying to hide she did not fuck with this the last time it happened and she does not fuck with it now. knows a little bit of fighting magic if it really comes down to it. will follow people to where they bunker down
plots: someone she gets stuck fighting a monster with despite wanting to dip (could develop into reluctant fighting pals). hiding buddies. someone who helps her if she panics and just trying to hide in a dark street. legit whatever
lily evans / harry potter / unaware
she is without magic or a wand or memories and doing her best with pepper spray and a decent chunk of anger. will be trying to help people despite her lack of defenses cause she’s foolish. very well may be dying in this because i want her memories back and this feels like an opportunity (considering the other ideas i have had are all awful)
plots: anyone she helps. anyone who helps her/drags her away from danger when she attempts to run right in. if anyone wants something big she could die trying to protect someone i’m open to options
river song / doctor who / semi-aware
let’s be real this is not the most dangerous situation river has ever been in. i would love to say she’s using her competence to help people but unfortunately she’s probably using the chaos as an excuse to rob high end stores. may help someone in a real casual aloof way where she’s passing by and shoots and monster but it’s not really a moral obligation thing rip. a little worried about where her mom is cause she just found out she definitely has a mom, so she can’t just lose her.
plots: someone she casually helps and then tries to dip from immediately. anyone interested in theft. may go to some fighting for the fun of it so if anyone wants to join she will be down
michiru kaioh / sailor moon / aware
very unhappy about the situation. mostly wants to find haruka considering the last real bad situation in washington had her seeing her dead body so. may provide a little protection along the way but she’s definitely on the colder side and is not meant to be a full time protector for anyone. will probably be transformed in her sailor neptune form to be able to handle the situation as best as possible
plots: someone she helps but tries to ditch. someone who asks her for help who she refuses. maybe someone who sees her fighting and comes by to join only for her to be like ‘oh you got this? i’m out then thanks for handling it.’
pansy parkinson / harry potter / aware
planning on following her successful plan that she carried out during jumanji, raiding a liquor store and finding a place to hide. will not be as easy as it was during the storm of course, but i think she’ll still kinda manage it. may get in a fight or two on the way there but that’s about it. maybe she could get injured or something lol whatever works
plots: drinking assholes buddies baby! if she does get a little injured someone for that thread (where she would probably be stupid enough to try and clean out an injury with her drinks). could save someone by accident. someone who witnesses theft lmao and has whatever reaction you want.
quinn fabray / glee / aware
uuuh quinn has many skills but none of them are made for this situation. i guess she can run kinda fast from cheerleading so that’s her best hope. it’s her one and only plan and she will be attempting to just run and hide. is not making an attempt to fight because she’s not stupid and knows anything out there could snap her in half.
plots: someone who offers some protection/saves her from a monster. bunker buddies. some regular human she’s camping out hiding with where they’re both like ‘what the actual fuck is going on in this city???’
tessa gray / the infernal devices / unaware
so she technically has magic but does she know how to use it? absolutely the fuck not. might use a tiny bit in self defense because she’s understandably very freaked out by all of this. like she knows there’s some supernatural stuff but she’s never prepared for this level of things. kinda stuck between wanting to save herself and feeling like she should help people but not knowing how so she does neither as a result. her main plan of defense is stabbing someone despite having no idea how to do so
plots: some sort of help for this victorian woman trying to survive. someone around if she accidentally uses magic to defend herself with no idea how. someone she helps get to safety.
toph beifong / avatar the last airbender / aware
lets be real she’s having a blast. loves to fight and loves fighting in a situation where she doesn’t have to worry about morals and wow should you hurt this person?? obviously monsters can be hurt so she’s in the clear and will be throwing boulders without any hesitation. lowkey thriving and running into chaos headfirst.
plots: though it wouldn’t be out of kindness she could help people or shield them or whatever. fighting buddies. someone who decides to stick by her cause she can clearly take out monsters. anything.
zagreus / hades / aware
honestly has spent the most recent part of his life fighting his way out of the underworld so this is not too crazy for him. he’s also died a lot so his concern for his own life is minimum. will be fighting and trying to help because he is a well meaning boy who doesn’t think people should be involved in this stuff if they don’t want to be. though earth was supposed to be better than this and is kinda thrown off and maybe a little sad.
plots: anyone he helps by saving from a monster or leading to safety. could steal a weapon off of someone lol. someone he starts questioning mid battle about whether or not this a common thing on earth
zhongli / genshin impact / aware
this man is very difficult to kill. he can summon meteors and shield himself from damage lmao. probably trying to take out as many monsters as possible but like in a for the greater good to save the people sort of way. reasons killing things is more helpful in the long term than slowly saving on person after another.
plots: could shield someone from an attack last minute. battle buddies. someone he accidentally frightens by calling down a whole ass meteor and handling that. will save people if they get stuck in combat just not helping people to safety or anything, so there’s options.
the island
albedo / genshin impact / aware
not gonna lie albedo is not nearly as worried as he should be. the man is bad at having emotional reactions to anything. if anything he’s really intrigued to be on a new location and will be trying to get plant and soil samples despite everything else going on.
plots: someone trying to get him to safety would be funny since it would be a very difficult task. maybe someone also just vibing with him. a research partner who he just pulls in by accident because he’s like ‘hey get me some of those flowers over there’ and they’re thrown off or whatever to the point where they just do it.
alec lightwood / shadowhunters / aware
a nervous man trying not to come off as nervous. will mostly be looking for magnus/issy, and turn out to subsequently be very unhappy when he realizes they aren’t there/are in washington (if one of them texts him). from there it’ll be about helping people and trying to keep people safe. this isn’t the sort of dangerous situation he’s used to dealing with (turns out you can’t fight the weather with a bow and arrow) but he’s heavily trained and will manage well enough himself and feels semi obligated to help regular humans survive
plots: any people he’s helping try to keep out of danger. someone aware of his concerns about his people back in washington. uuh literally anything he will be working real hard to play it cool but it’s hard when the people you care about are who knows how far aware and cell service is hard to get in a monsoon or lightning storm (he may try and find the tallest areas to scale just to try and get a text out so if anyone wants to join him they’re welcome to)
esther mckinnon / harry potter / aware
mentally cursing magic and all of the nonsense that comes with it that refuses to leave her alone so she can chill. luckily, though she’s not amazing with much magic she was always slightly better with defensive stuff or charms rather than straight up attack battle magic. luckily she’s been keeping her wand on her more often than usual cause dying will do that to a person. trying to find/contact her family and survive
plots: sort of survival crew sort of deal. she’s probably half tempted to see if she can swim back to washington so someone should talk her down
gerry keay / the magnus archives / aware
similar to esther is real tired of magic stuff or cult stuff or whatever it is and is kinda pissed to still be a part of it. he’s kinda concerned this has something to do with the entities and will be running around a bit looking for answers at the start before deciding that isn’t happening and just being tired of it. also pretty sure he’s survived worse so don’t be surprised to see him smoking a cigarette through a storm somehow acting like things are chill. is nice and wants to help people even if he doesn’t seem like it so will probably move into action the second he sees anyone struggling.
plots: if your character is tired of this shit and wants to share a cigarette they are more than welcome. he will help people in whatever way he can. someone needs to tell him you can’t fight the weather with arson because that’s the only move he’s got.
glinda upland / wicked / aware
lowkey a little pissed she was not given a warning about all of this so she could at least show up in a proper beach outfit. real tempted to just hide in her bubble and float in that until this is over but isn’t sure if that would actually help. also has bad memories when it comes to extreme weather conditions. can use some magic to try and help herself with but glinda is not built for thinking under pressure so big rip
plots: someone offering her some help she needs it. someone who witnesses her attempting to keep her hair styled throughout all of this. literally whatever.
haruhi fujioka / ouran high school host club / aware
a little too confident and bad at accepting help. will be doing their best to get through this on their own, and probably semi managing but not as good as they could with some help, especially considering they are human and so many others are not. will offer others help even though their biggest and best plan is to hide however possible
plots: reluctantly accepted help. maybe the opposite of someone trying to offer help and haruhi adamantly refusing. a hiding crew of sort, where haruhi would stick with someone else under the assumption that more eyes in better and she’s still mostly handling herself.
jin ling / the untamed / unaware
stubborn like haruhi, but will recognize his limits much faster. kinda overconfident with a habbit of running headfirst into things and them directly going to shit. lowkey thinking he could get injured and get some flashes of his memories back but not become completely aware, just a sense of things. hoping his dog is safe back home
plots: please someone help this boy dear god. if i do go with an injury maybe someone pulling him out of whatever shit he gets himself into. any sort of group safety or help that can deal with him being a little mean because that’s just how he is unfortunately.
kyoshi / avatar the last airbender / unaware
‘let kyoshi bend a meteor’ an admin said to me as a joke but you know what? she could so why not! will be attempting to utilize the bending she barely understands to get through the weather and will probably be semi successful considering she’s best at bending giant amounts of elements rather than precise bending. will be keeping herself safe but nervous about anyone being near her due to not feeling in control
plots: someone she saves with her bending. someone that could get hurt from her bending something into them accidentally (though probably not too seriously). someone hanging around her to stay safe but it’s just making her nervous but she doesn’t want to tell them to leave her alone so it’s a struggle all around
namaari / and the last dragon / aware
is used to surviving in difficult weather situations. not this bad but like, it’s not so far out of her comfort zone that she’s absolutely screwed. probably has a good instinct for it. doesn’t trust super easily so will not be super jazzed about joining a group but could go with a person or two.
plots: someone she impulsively helps. someone who helps her and she gets stuck feeling like she has to thank them and hangs around till she gets a chance to repay them (or she ditches them to save her own skin). working together but she’s clearly hesitant with them
pearl / steven universe / aware
she’ll be good. i mean very confused and concerned about how she got out of the city, but interested in finding out how it all works. will be trying to do some research around the horrible weather. is also a very fast builder and could probably manage some shelter. if she decides there’s nothing to find may try and establish a place to just stay at and deal with the weather. does have a moral compass and will attempt to help people.
plots: someone she helps/saves. any people interested in looking for answers with her that don’t have enough concern about the weather situation. can try and build some protection structures for people.
rita skeeter / harry potter / aware
real tempted to turn into a bug and just bury in the dirt until this is all over. may start that way even until earthquake kicks in and that doesn’t feel safe either. will be a beetle for some of it though. luckily most of her magic skill is in defense (she has always prepared for the day someone snaps and tries to punch her) so she’ll kinda manage, but is a selfish bitch only out for herself so do not expect much from her in terms of help. will try and start doing interviews on the island despite the craziness to prep for the article she’s gonna write after
plots: someone she starts trying to interview mid chaos. someone who pulls her out of danger while she’s filming something. lmao if someone wants to see her turn out of a bug for the laughs (or discovering she’s an illegal animagus) that could happen i’m down for whatever
victor nikiforov / yuri on ice / aware
sir is absolutely not built for this. nothing in his career has built him for this, it’s just made him a charismatic egomaniac with bad knees and ankles. probably makes a snapchat story along the lines of ‘someone come save me i’m a national treasure.’
plots: will cling onto people for help so anyone stuck with him. could offer money in return for people with any form of protection/support. making unfortunate snapchat stories/instagram posts as it goes. let him pull some people into the wildest selfies ever.
#gun tw#knife tw#death tw#hw: plot call#hwevent12#what was i thinking with this truly#i feel like i owe a public apology for it#will probably wait a day or two to work on plotting and then put out a starter call
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BnHA Chapter 271: My Hero Tokodemia
Previously on BnHA: Mic was all “goodbye X-Less don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” and just LEFT him with Tomura, like. ???! X-Less was all “I’m gonna sit here and do nothing and wait to die.” Ujiko was all “this has nothing to do with ANYTHING but I just want you to know that I conspired to murder your husband 15 years ago and ended up killing his best friend instead!” Tomura was all “what up bitches I’m in this chapter too” and had trippy dreams about hands and buildings and his family was there and also All for One (the dude)! Because guess what, Tomura has All For One (the quirk) now! Because AFO gave it to him! So yeah! And now he’s waking up, and Deku can apparently feel it happening because he’s a horcrux probably, and so basically everything is FINALLY GOING TO SHIT AND IT’S ABOUT TIME BUT ALSO AHHHHH.
Today on BnHA: SHIGARAKI WHO TOMURA WHAT. Back to Gunga Mountain! So Dabi is all “you do know your beloved mentor just killed a guy right?” and Toko is all “!!” and Dabi is all “SO THAT MAKES HIM THE WORST CRIMINAL OF ALL!” and, WITHOUT THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF IRONY, IMMEDIATELY follows up this bold statement by TRYING TO BURN A CHILD ALIVE. Anyway so this is why Dabi wasn’t the keynote speaker at the “murder is bad” convention though. So most of the chapter is like this, with Dabi (albeit somewhat halfheartedly) trying to set Toko on fire while Toko desperately tries to keep between him and Hawks. Eventually though, Dabi is confusingly thwarted by Otter Pops, making his triumphant return and spraying a bunch of ice just every which way because things weren’t chaotic enough I guess! And then the chapter ends with everyone’s favorite Guy They Hoped Wouldn’t Be Waking Up In This Arc, Gigantomachia, waking up!! :’) :’) :’) etc you get it.
okay so I am please to clarify that the spoilers I received were not actually all that big of a deal, and that pretty much all I know is that we’re cutting back to Dabi and Tokoyami probably, and there’s a good chance we might not even see Tomura at all this chapter in spite of last week’s cliffhanger. so even if I’d have preferred not to know that up front, it’s all good! though I will say Horikoshi has a real knack for cutting away from things right when you’re at your most invested though. reminds me of what it was like reading Lord of the Rings for the first time. “nooo I don’t want to cut back to Frodo -- WAIT WHAT’S GOING ON -- NO I DON’T WANT TO CUT BACK TO MERRY AND PIPPIN DAMMIT -- WAIT WHAT”
anyways! lol guys guess what
so then! those spoilers did indeed have the ring of truth! well this should be interesting
lmao he’s forcibly clawing his way out of Fat’s belly via aggressive use of Dark Shadow oh damn
oh man you guys. time to catalog some feels
Fatgum you do realize you were in the running for #2 hero but have now bled serious points by letting a child run back into danger and doing absolutely nothing to stop him! although to be fair you do have other children to protect, and this one child also should not have been able to do what he just did! and also Child Endangerment is U.A.’s unofficial motto and you didn’t even go to U.A. but you would fit right in though let me tell you. but anyway so the point is this isn’t really anything new, but still
HIS BODY JUST MOVED BEFORE HE COULD THINK ahhhh Toko. THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!! THE MY HERO TOKODEMIA ARC BEGINS NOW
I hope we get a followup panel of Kaminari freaking out and trying to go after his pal (but not actually succeeding though, because I swear to god Fatgum, if you fuck this up again all of my remaining goodwill is just gonna fly right out the window. and it’s a lot of goodwill too! but we don’t screw around when it comes to children’s safety!!). just would be a nice touch! ah well if they don’t show it I’ll just headcanon it
last but not least, it’s also worth noting that while I love how brave and selfless and concerned for his mentor’s wellbeing Tokoyami is here, this was still an incredibly stupid move on his part! least of all because he actually had no idea that Hawks truly was in danger. is it weird to say he lucked out? “you’re so fortunate your teacher actually was being burned alive you reckless little goose!” but like, you know what I mean though right
anyway
-- oh they are showing it!!
YAY HE IS A GOOD BOY. THAT IS ALL. CARRY ON
Toko’s shouting over his shoulder that Hawks is “probably” in trouble. for fuck’s
I mean yeah, it’s probably just some gut instinct which funnily enough happens to be absolutely right. but I’m sorry you guys, there’s just this small part of me that just can’t get over the fact that he briefly saw Hawks flying for all of .2 seconds, and saw some flames, and just IMMEDIATELY leapt to the worst-case-scenario conclusion. you know what this is? it’s the decision-making process of a kid who is actually WAY more powerful than we’ve been giving him credit for. enough so that his self-preservation instincts don’t even kick in at all because it doesn’t even occur to him how dangerous of a move this is. goddammit Tokoyami. you kids think you’re all grown up now and ffff just please be safe
and okay, I’ll give Fatgum some benefit of the doubt for just letting that happen because apparently this is literally the first and only time
seems he didn’t even think it was possible up until now. so that’s fair
OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT FATGUM YOU ARE REDEEMED
THAT’S RIGHT!! YOU DON’T JUST UP AND LEAVE THE FATAXI WHENEVER YOU FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT. FARE DODGERS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULL EXTENT OF THE LAW!!
so he’s immediately following after him, but is smart enough not to put the other kids in danger! good split-second decision-making there. certain other people in this chapter could take notes! and of course my one fear now though is that the other three children will not listen to him at all, but you know what, let’s deal with one thing at a time
hmmm
dammit Horikoshi, what...?? you really like to toe the lines of what is and isn’t problematic huh? literally if you wanted to go for a cool barbarian look all you had to do was stick with the same kind of costume scheme you had going in the second and fourth popularity polls. but no, you had to go and give him a fucking war bonnet. was that one guy back in the Hero Killer arc not enough. at least this is only a cover page, sigh
also I see that Tokoyami was asked to name his own feature chapter. I’m just happy that he’s happy
would you fucking look at this
first of all, why is Dabi suddenly twenty feet away from them. and second, would you just look at how ridiculously intact Hawks fucking is. Dabi really was microwaving him on the defrost setting only huh
so now everyone’s just looking at each other. sizin’ each other up and stuff
yeah no shit it’s bad. you rushed in thinking you could somehow handle a situation which had even the second strongest guy on the ropes. and handle it alone, no less. lord help me why are the bravest ones also always the most stupid
EEP
HIS WINGS??? also his fucking BACK jesus christ. meaning he’s completely immobile for now at best, and probably soon to be in critical condition and going into shock if he isn’t already. okay so maybe it wasn’t just the defrost setting, fuck. Hawkssss 8|
oh???????
holy shit. an opportunity to actually find out how much of a bastard Dabi actually is?? we of course know he had no problem whatsoever with kidnapping a kid back in the day. but would he go so far as to seriously fight and/or try to kill one? a kid who’s no older than your little brother?? oh gosh oh golly oh intrigue
I literally have not made up my mind on Dabi redemption one way or the other, just to be clear (he’s just been too mysterious up till now and I feel like I don’t know enough), so I am super curious to see how this plays out so I can finally form an opinion!
OH SNAP
SCORE ONE FOR “HE MAY BE AN A-HOLE, BUT HE’S NOT, AND I QUOTE, 100% A DICK”? MAYBE?? but on the other hand he’s definitely not just gonna let Hawks go either so ahhhh???
(ETA: so it seems we’ve arrived at a solid “mildly bastardish!” idk. it definitely seems to me like he’s trying not to murder this teenager for no good reason. ironically he’s in much the same position here that Hawks was less than a dozen chapters ago; facing against someone who’s just trying to protect his friend, and trying to talk him down at first, but then attacking once it’s clear that he’s not going to back off. ah well. still as morally gray as ever.)
ah I see, we’re gonna start by shattering his naive illusions!
(ETA: fucking christ, the scan is so dark I didn’t even notice Twice’s charred corpse just LYING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND the first time I read this. and now that I have noticed it, I would just like to say, sincerely, what the fuck.)
welp, there it is. finally the kids are getting properly involved in this arc, and AS EXPECTED, they are promptly being traumatized. oh Toko ;_;
Dabi this speech you’re making would feel more original if literal scores of tumblrs hadn’t spent the last two months exhaustively analyzing every single last possible angle of this debate lol. everyone has already made up their minds on the “is Hawks worth saving” controversy one way or the other but okay sure, go ahead and throw your hat into the ring too
lmao whaaaaaaat. “as a last resort, after his attempts to take him peacefully were thwarted, Hawks killed a man so as to prevent that man from killing countless others during our coup to take over the country because our boss wants to destroy everything. clearly, Hawks is the worst out of everyone else involved in this equation!” now that! is a take! lol
OH NO OH GOD
“PEW PEW PEW ENJOY THOSE FEELS” HORIKOSHI WHOOPS WHILE SHOOTING LASER GUN FINGERS AT ME, AND HEY, NOW
HEY, I SAID!!!
WHAT THE FUCK -- WHAT EVEN IS THE FUCKING SCREENPLAY FOR THIS THING?? “A BARELY-CONSCIOUS HAWKS MURMURS HIS STUDENT’S NAME WITH AN ACHINGLY WEARY LOOK OF SHAME AND REGRET! AS DABI LOOKS ON, TOKOYAMI GENTLY LIFTS HIS FALLEN MASTER AND WRAPS HIS CAPE AROUND HIS BACK, LOOKING OVERWHELMED, BUT DETERMINED. TOKOYAMI: I’M JUST... CONCERNED FOR MY TEACHER.” who the fuck wrote this shit and how much pleasure were they taking in ripping my heart out and violently slamming it against the wall
sob, and unfortunately Dabi doesn’t look particularly moved himself by any of this
DAMMIT DABI PLEASE RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME. GO AWAY AND HAVE YOUR REVENGE SOME OTHER DAY GODDAMMIT
DABI!!
Dabi I swear to god!! if you seriously try and burn my gothbird son I will...
DABI WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY. LEAVE THE KID ALONE
Tokoyami... sweetie...
IF ONLY YOU COULD JUST. fly back out?? the exact same way you came??? if only that was a thing you could do??? or can he not fly while he’s carrying another person, maybe? dammit I forget
?!
wait what?? is he implying that Dabi isn’t seriously trying to kill them yet? is that what this is? I should just read on since this is clearly only the first part of something longer that he’s saying and I have to stop this bad habit of trying to analyze half a sentence before I go on and read the rest of the sentence
well whatever it is, he’s absolutely right; Dabi as it turns out is still standing there 25 feet away like a social distance champ, monologuing from afar
this panel gets more hilarious to me the longer I stare at it you guys. someone please make a comic where Hawks is all “he’s still talking...” and Toko looks to see Dabi RAMBLING ON and slowly inches further and further away while Dabi completely fails to take any notice lmao
so Tokoyami is just staring back, and then suddenly he’s all “orders from Hawks!” which I think is just him asking Hawks what to do now??
and fucking look at this lol
“just slowly inch away while he’s monologuing. I just found out he’s secretly a Todoroki so now I know his weakness: he will literally drop dead before he ever stops being dramatic”
OH MY GOD
ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS ISN’T A JOKE AND THAT’S HIS ACTUAL WEAKNESS LMAO. HAVE WE CROSSED PLANES INTO SOME KIND OF SATIRICAL REALITY. WHAT IS HAPPENING
LMAO OKAY NO HAWKS IS SAYING THAT DABI IS JUST BULLSHITTING THEM BECAUSE HE’S USED UP ALL HIS FLAMES OR SOME SHIT. LOL OKAY THEN. ALL I HEARD WAS “HE WASN’T ABLE TO FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE HE NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP.” WHERE IS THE LIE
OH SNAP THERE HE GOES
he is running away in the background, right?? Dark Shadow is just a distraction? you better not be seriously trying to fight him oh god please be smart about this
okay yes good!!
bringing back some unpleasant memories of the last guy who took a tumble off this balcony, but whatever! I’m sure he’s got some kind of plan in mind here
yep okay so he’s using Dark Shadow as a bungee cord
Hawks is so fucking short he somehow looks the same size as this little bird hobbit who’s carrying him. this is just a battle of tiny, tiny people
OH MY GOD FUCKING OUCH OH GEEZ
I FELT THAT OH MY GOD
AND OF FUCKING COURSE THAT KO’D HAWKS FOR GOOD, BECAUSE HE NO LONGER HAS A FUCKING BACK, AND HE JUST TARZANED OFF A BALCONY AND TOKOYAMI LANDED RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM JESUS CHRIST. R.I.P.
TOKO IS ALL “HE MUST HAVE BLACKED OUT FROM THE IMPACT JUST NOW” AND YEAH, YOU THINK?? WOULDN’T YOU?? FUCK
OH MY GOD HE’S PICKING HIM UP AND HE’S SO FUCKING TINY OH GOD OH JESUS
STOP BEING DRAMATIC AND JUST CARRY HIM OUT OF THERE ALREADY CAN WE GET A MOVE ON PLEASE? YOU’RE DOING SO GOOD BUDDY AND I’M SO PROUD, BUT ALSO THE REST OF THE LEAGUE IS STILL OUT THERE AND NOTHING IS SAFE AND AHHHH
-- AND ALSO THIS GUY STILL!!
no doubt. no doubt whatsoever the blood that runs through those veins. the theatrics are more of a dna marker than the flame quirk could ever be
also!! ARE WE SURE HAWKS IS ACTUALLY TWENTY-THREE?? COULDN’T THE HPSC HAVE FORGED HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE?? THIS IS A BABY PROVE ME WRONG??
anyway so since Dabi is now saying “joke’s on you, I can still use my flames whenever the fuck I want,” I’m going to take this as confirmation that he really was keeping his distance just so he could utilize forced perspective. I’m going to make a post about this as soon as I’m done reading lol
HORIKOSHI WILL YOU PLEASE STOP WITH THE ENDLESS CLOSE-UPS OF A FRIGHTENED TOKOYAMI CLINGING TO HIS UNCONSCIOUS MENTOR SCARED BUT READY TO PROTECT HIM WITH HIS LIFE I REALLY CAN’T???
DABI’S REALLY OUT HERE TRYING TO BURN THESE LITTLE BABY CHICKS ALIVE. WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING CHILL MY DUDE
OH MY GOD
SOME KIND OF CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED AHHHH WHO
AHHH MT. LADY?!
(ETA: ngl, I’m still not sure how I feel about this sequence of panels but I did laugh good and hard though.)
-- holy shit that was ice??! oh lord don’t tell me
yeppp, looks like it’s our old buddy Dairy Queen back at it again
look... Geten?? is it?? nothing against you personally. but I have a deep-seeded and enduring dislike of everyone from the Meta Liberation Army still and that includes you pal
that being said, did you inadvertently save Tokoyami’s life, though? I originally thought those were just ~anime shockwaves~ from some off-screen attack, but if that was all actually ice, it looks like you might have cut Dabi off. which I approve of! but also that’s some serious friendly fire you tomfool
so he’s yelling that he’s disrupted the heroes’ siege, which it looks like he has! very sloppily, but still
and also, way to have both of your fire users currently 80km away, hero team! you knew Geten was here, no?? who even planned this
now this Bleach-looking dude is sneaking up on Gang Orca with what looks to be a hole-punching quirk which is freaking me out a bit ngl
Gang please take him out with your famous yeet as soon as possible, I don’t know if I can handle a prolonged fight against this particular quirk
YES TOKO GET THE FUCK OUT!!!
there is no fucking way this kid is anywhere near his twenties incidentally I might add. none at all. we’ve been had
NO STOP FEELS
HE’S CRYING JESUS CHRIST HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO DIE AND HIS TEACHER IS HURT AND DYING MAYBE AND THE VILLAIN SAID HE KILLED SOMEONE AND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER, HE STILL WANTS TO PROTECT HIM AND HE’S JUST A BABY TOO?! IT’S TOO MUCH??
AND I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M SURPRISED OR SHOCKED BY ANY OF THIS AT ALL?? LISTEN UP EVERYONE, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND INSIDE OF THIS BAG IN THE FRIDGE WHICH WAS LABELED “CHILD SOLDIERS LIFE-OR-DEATH BATTLE ARC.” THE CONTENTS OF THIS BAG... MAY SHOCK YOU
lmao yeah but GUESS WHAT! I’M STILL GONNA GET ALL WORKED UP OVER IT AND I’M EVEN GONNA LIKE IT! but also. my babiesss
oh for fuck’s sake this guy still??
okay so I’ve already scrolled down enough to see the very top of the last page after this, and I’m pretty sure that’s Gigantomachia’s hair lol. please don’t tell me the radio is still on and he heard Tomura’s voice oh fiddlefucks
YEP
:’)
welp. strap yourselves in, chums. 19 chapters in, and this arc is only just beginning
#bnha 271#tokoyami fumikage#dabi#hawks (bnha)#fatgum#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#god this took forever to edit#and it's still a mess#long story short TOKOYAMI AND HAWKS#PROTECT THEM
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Keep On Believing (Loki x Reader)
Reader and Loki share a piece of their past with each other. A/N: I’ve had this stuck on my head for a while and I feel happy finally putting it down somewhere. Thank you all for the surge of followers and feedback on my stories! I’ve been using them to keep me focused on something enjoyable for me :) As always, Gender Neutral Reader! Warnings: None! Fluff n’ such!
In the oddest of spectacles, Loki was seated in your living room, leg crossed over the other, sorting through a pile of photos you had insisted he take a look at. For what he figured was another way for humans to bond, he begrudgingly agreed and was now flipping through a variety of Polaroids he best referred to as ‘photographic illusions.’ Within these, a peek at your childhood and youth caught his interest, curious to learn exactly where you had come from. He observed through the many photos which included birthdays, holiday dinners, vacations, beach days and many more.
With two cups of warm tea, you soon came back into the living room, plopping a seat next to him on the couch. You placed both cups on your small coffee table, leaning over to catch at what Loki was peering at.
“Just so you know, those things in my teeth were there so they could straighten out.” You explained as he squinted at a photo of you, sometime in your elementary and braces years.
“Ah. I didn’t realize human dentures came out misaligned.” He said, flipping through a couple more.
“Only sometimes. What do you think though? Interesting to see how different I ended up looking.”
“From my introspection, I’d want to say that you were quite the attention seeking child. See, here.” He said, showing you a small photo of you with a long forgotten childhood cousin. “From the way your hand is laid on this other child’s chest, I’m suspecting you were shoving them aside to be the main subject matter.”
You snorted. “Very impressive. I was super egoistic when I was younger, but I’m glad that trait didn’t last long.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” He sneered as you playfully shoved his shoulder. He continued to sort through and came upon another photo which piqued his interest.
“You mind elaborating as to why you are dressed like...a squash?”
“Pumpkin. Also because it was Halloween. I guess you can say that’s out bastardization of some Pagan traditions.”
“It doesn’t appear like you were having a good time here.” He said, pulling the photo closer to his face.
“Oh no. I hated that costume but my mother was insistent about taking a picture.”
Loki chuckled to himself. “This sour face is quite familiar however. I think you still have a tendency to pout like that when I am intentionally ignoring you.”
You furrowed your brows. “Intentionally?”
“Oops. Did I say that?”
Loki braced for another playful jab at his side once he saw that pout forming once more. You continued to ramble on about your distinct hate for this Halloween costume as Loki flipped through a couple of more brief snapshots of your childhood. This was a new experience for him, albeit a tad strange. The use of photographic illusions wasn’t present back in Asgard, and for the aesir, there really wasn’t much need to have a tangible piece of time like this. Although his memory doesn’t remember every single detail of his younger years, it was still much more vivid than any human’s, and that was impressive to say for someone who was over one thousand years old.
He couldn’t deny your eagerness with all of it however. He observed how excited you had become to share your history with him, and how each small piece of glistening paper had brought back a memory that had been long forgotten. A part of him envied your fondness of your own past, especially with anything having to do with your family. Indeed this was the most bizarre part for him. Aside from his childhood and unconditionally loving mother, things didn’t exactly pan out that well for him. Of course he still struggled with obtaining the full responsibility of his own actions, but this was a part of his history he wished to be entirely blacked out. He certainly wouldn’t show you these parts any time soon, as selfish as it was.
He focused back on your own past, looking over the young human who couldn’t have possibly fathomed the idea of building a connection with a man like him. You were cute as a child and he briefly imagined his own young self meeting you. He wondered if you both would have gotten along as well as you both did now. Maybe, in a different space and age.
“Would it be stupid of me to ask if Asgardians keep family photos as well?” You asked, poking him out of his trance.
“Only if that includes large frescoes of the royal family over heading the royal palace.” “That’s a bummer. I’ve always been curious to see little Loki.”
“Do you want to? It wouldn’t take much honestly.” He responded casually.
“Wait, what?” You asked, bewilderment in your face. “What do you mean?”
“You know I’m a sorcerer, correct? The art of casting illusions, specific ones at that, come almost second nature to me.”
Your eyes widened at the possibility. “Are you telling me you could cast down, like a memory or something like that?”
“Err, I suppose. I can concoct something specific, but of course it wouldn’t be the exact memory.”
“Yes!” You exclaimed, inching at the edge of your seat. “I mean, if it’s cool with you?”
“You’re too excited about this.” He said, eyeing you from top to bottom. “But it will be fine. Close your eyes however, the effect will be more potent like that.”
An inescapable grin cast between your cheeks as you shut your eyes intensely. Loki stood up, tugging at your arm to rise with him, and then beginning to conjure his seidr between his fingers. The green glow rose from his palm and began to cover the entirely of your living room like a thick coat of paint. As it dripped down, your plain walls soon became marbled and golden, mimicking the royal halls back in Asgard. Loki focused on a target memory, involving one of the many times he would often study his magic in the high gardens of Asgard. He purposefully chose a moment when it was just himself, still wanting to avoid exposing you to a painful part of his past. But for now, he figured you’d be more than satisfied with a snapshot of his youth.
“You can open your eyes now.”
Your eyes popped open immediately, darting back and forth, from side to side. Your mouth fell agape at the scenery in front of you. Your living room, with all its tacky decor, was now long gone, and soon replaced with a scene out of a fairy tale. It was a large indoor garden, garnished with a myriad of flowers, hanging vines, large overlooking leaves and a large fountain smack in the middle, flowing with gentle streams of water. At a small garden bench in front of the fountain, sat a small dark haired boy, legs crossed, flipping through a large archaic book. His hair was sleeked back and he wore a dark green robe rimmed with a golden hem. His gaze fell upon his readings, and you certainly could not mistake those inhuman green eyes.
Loki raised an eyebrow at your uncomfortable silence until he patted the top of your head. “You can breathe you know.”
“Loki, is that really you?” You responded incredulously.
“Obviously. This was a little hideout spot from Thor when he wouldn’t allow me to concentrate on my studies.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“Again, it’s only from the details I’ve been able to draw back on. Knowing how my mother tended these gardens, I’m sure I am missing much more here.”
“It’s still incredible.” You said while gently forward into the illusion. “Oh, Loki. You were so adorable as a kid!”
"I’ll gladly take that compliment.” He said with a smirk. He felt satisfied with how in awe you appeared at his little scene. While it would never beat having the possibility of showing you the real Asgard, this was just as pleasing. There was still much more he wanted to share with you, the good parts. His inward self however urged him to be cautious with how much he showed you, affirming it would push you away from him one way or another. Despite it, his nature allowed him to dwell in the self-gratifying moment of having you mull over his illusion.
“What exactly are you reading?” You asked, referring to his book.
“Just deepening my understanding of conjuring objects through pocket dimensions. Stuff that would surely bore you to death.”
“You got that right. You think that kid would have wanted to join me during Halloween?” You asked with another toothy grin.
“Only if you agreed to wear that ridiculous pumpkin outfit.”
“Then that will be a big no. Still, it’s incredible to believe this was probably hundreds of years before I was born.”
He nodded. “Did I ever imagine in a thousand years that I’d be stuck in Midgard with a foolish human? Definitely not.”
“Way to ruin the moment.”
He slowly waved his hand over the illusion, causing it to dissipate out of existence. The green glow tore holes through the enchanting scenery, burning all over until it reached the young Loki last. For a brief moment, the young Asgardian peered upwards, his eyes now instantly connected onto yours. You cheekily waved good bye to the young boy until he illusion completely came undone, and your plain living room was back in sight.
“That was amazing!” You said while clapping your hands in a keenly manner. “Can you cast anything else? Oh, what about when-”
Loki shoved a finger onto your lips, instantly shushing you. “Don’t be greedy. I’m not opted to show this just to anyone. Besides, it does tire me when I use my seidr in such a way.”
You nodded slowly and understandingly. “Ah.”
He was quick to catch your eagerness in your bright eyes soon fall over. “I’ll be sure you more at some other time. You have my word.”
You nodded rapidly this time. “Yes sir.”
He let out a deep breath, relieved at how easily you became content. “Very, well. I assuming you want to show me more of these ‘photos’.” He motioned over to the pile on your couch, taking a seat once more
“Only if you want to.” You said, joining him on the couch as well. “I didn’t realize how many I had.”
“What do you want, (Y/N)?”
“Oh! Let me just show you my cringe teenage years. I’ll give you permission to make fun of my style back then.”
“See, now those are the things I would be more than eager to take a gander at.”
You took a chunk of the pile and began to sort through various photos, determined to find something from those adolescent years. Loki wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him as you began to point out a series of hair dyeing disasters. You looked ridiculous, but he continued to ground himself presently. Unbelievable, how you continued to be more than willing to share a part of your past with him (even the seemingly shameful moments). He began to process what type of scene or moment in time he’d capture in one of his illusions, making sure the next one would continue to encourage you to share yourself with him.
#loki#loki x you#loki x reader#loki x y/n#loki fanfic#loki fanfiction#loki imagine#loki imagines#loki pov#loki drabble#loki drabbles#loki laufeyson
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Sorting Hat Chats: Oxventures
Hey look, I finally actually got a sorting post written! .... and it's one that I'm pretty sure interests absolutely nobody else, because I don't think anyone else in the Sorting Hat Chats community is into Oxventures, and also the reverse. But the brainwanderings will go where they wish and they don't ask me for permission, and I've been marathoning (and sleeping to) a lot of Oxventures lately, so let's go.
Just in case anyone does choose to take a look, I'll do a brief sum up of both system and canon, so that no one's lost. System first, because I have some other thoughts about canon I want to mention. The full rundown of the basics is here, but just so we're all on the same page:
A VERY BRIEF OVERVIEW OF THE @sortinghatchatsSYSTEM
Your Primary house is your motivations, values, and why you do what you do.
Lion Primaries do it this way because their gut tells them it's right.
Bird Primaries do it this way because the system they've put together to guide them tells them this is what's right.
Badger Primaries do it this way because it's the best thing for the community as a whole, or for the most people.
Snake Primaries do it this way because it's the best thing for the people they prioritize.
Your Secondary house is how you approach the world, the methods that come most easily and naturally to you.
Lion Secondaries charge. They attack problems head-on and directly, and they're in their comfort zone when they are their authentic selves.
Bird Secondaries plan. They collect tools, skills, and information, and they're in their comfort zone when they're prepared for the situation.
Badger Secondaries toil. They put their nose to the grindstone or they build connections to get things done, and they're in their comfort zone when things call for steady, consistent work.
Snake Secondaries improvise. They're adaptive and quick on their feet, and they're in their comfort zone when they have the wiggle room to go with what comes to them.
Other terminology may come up as well. I will try and link to posts that explain it better if I end up using anything.
A VERY BRIEF EXPLANATION OF OXVENTURES
Oxventures is the D&D Actual Play show done by the youtube gaming channels Outside Xbox and Outside Xtra, DMed by Johnny Chiodini from the tabletop game channel Dicebreaker. They've been going since fall 2017, first in-person and now streamed. It is an extremely fun show with a group of very entertaining players that have been basically learning to play as it goes. If you're into D&D shows and not too bothered by a very hand-wavey approach to rules, I greatly recommend it.
There are, however, some things that make it difficult to sort. It's a comedy show, and while I don't think this is true for every comedy, in general, it's very easy for characterization to occasionally get passed over for a laugh. It's sometimes hard to tell what jokes are being thrown around OOC versus IC. And the D&D format means there is no going back and editing anything; characterization is developed on the fly, and there's already been discussion that talked about how some of the characters changed as they were being played. Also, it's action-driven -- you don't always get a lot of information on what's going through people's head, so motivation can be hard to pin down.
So it's a little difficult and I've gotten wobbly on a lot of them. Which makes it a great choice for my first sorting!
(...To be fair, it's my first sorting post. I've been watching this system and sorting things to myself for -- *checks when I first mentioned it* wait hold on five years? Really? Okay, cool. Excuse me while I sit and have a mental montage to How Far We've Come as I remember all the fine-tuning it's been through in that time.
Anyway, I've been sorting things to myself for five years, so I'm not new to this, I'm just new to trying to explain my whys, so I hope this comes out understandable. I'm sorry for the rambling, because we're already 750 words in and I haven't even started.)
ANYWAY LET'S GET TO THE SORTING.
Corazón de Ballena, human pirate rogue Corazón, oh Corazón, what... do I even do with you. He's clearly not a Badger -- fairness and other people's needs are not his priority. Between the obvious Jack Sparrow riff and the "pirate seeking glory" thing, my instinct is to say a Lion Primary, probably a Gloryhound Lion in specific. I could see a Bird Primary, just because there is something extremely constructed-feeling about Corazón -- I think his truth would look very Snake-like, prioritizing himself and the people he chooses, but I could see it.
But I'm going to lean into a full Snake Primary, I think. While he doesn't care about most people, he does care very much about the people who do matter to him -- see his whole complicated relationship with his father, even after his father tried to kill him; see his burning down a guy's house because he's mean to Prudence; to some extent, see his attempt to help end his old crew's curse. He puts people above anything else, but only the people he chooses to (or where can't help it, in his father's case) I think he'd almost like people to believe that he's Burned and doesn't care about anyone else, but he very much is not, though he doesn't seem to let new people into the circle often or easily, either. I could still very much see a Gloryhound Lion, but in the end I think if asked to put the party first or fame and fortune first -- he would complain, he would never let them hear the end of it, but he would also choose the party every single time.
For Secondary: Corazón would really want people to think he's a Snake. If he could read the descriptions and pick his own, I'm pretty sure he'd say he was a Snake. Adaptable, cunning, deceitful -- and it's not that he's not these things, but the way it manifests itself feels much more like a rapid-fire Bird Secondary. He's analytical, he learned magic entirely from books, and I haven't actually counted, but I would bet you that he makes more investigation rolls than anyone else. While his quickly thought up plans do work, they often tend to rely on things he already knows -- disguise self and minor illusion come up often, hiding and evading, etc. He seems to be one of the party that gets the most non-combat use out of his various magical abilities. It's a very quick and jack-of-many-trades style of Bird, but it's still very Bird.
Dob, half-orc bard Dob is quite possibly the loudest loyalist primary... just, that I have ever seen, ever. To start with, I'm just going to drop this quote here: "I know there's good in you, jailor I just met!"
How about the way that he's first introduced as a bard who goes from town to town playing the lullaby his lost sister used to sing to him, searching for her. Or his habit of, to quote TV Tropes, "engaging in random acts of adoption". Or the time he tried to learn spells to apologize to the dead orphans. Or how he still managed to forgive the skeletons that killed the orphans. Or the time he forgave the cult that almost got them all killed. Or giving the cultists (from a different cult) relationship advice. Or the time he ended up listening to the jailor's marriage woes. Or....
Look, I could keep going but I think we've got enough examples. So: Badger or Snake? On the one hand he definitely seems to worry about saving his particular people first when there's danger... but, there's a level of guilt about innocent people who have died on his watch, and that habit of taking in random people on multiple adventures, that really makes me lean towards a Badger Primary. Dob seems to genuinely care about everyone they cross as a default, and of all of them, he's the first I can see coming to the aid of an enemy who he has no prior positive experiences with.
As for a Secondary, Dob is the master of quick plans, quicker lies, and steamrolling NPCs into going along with things. The entire party ends up thinking on their feet more often than not, but he seems to do his best work that way, as a Snake Secondary often does. Sometimes he goes so fast that he forgets something and makes a mistake -- which is how "don't be a Dob" has become a thing -- but his impulsive ideas actually work out more often than it doesn't, and he's also very good at connecting with a wide variety of people. On the page for Snake/Slytherin Secondaries, the SHC site says,
"Slytherins will adapt to their own best advantage without thinking about it. They’ll walk into a situation and things will work out to their benefit without them quite knowing what happened or what they did to influence it."
-- and doesn't that just fit with Dob's ridiculous amounts of luck?
He does seem to spend a fair amount of time in his neutral state, or at least adapting in a non-conscious kind of way. There is something generally blunt about Dob a lot of the time, enough that I considered Lion pretty heavily -- but in the end, he works best when he's running on the fly and making shit up, in a way that feels extremely Snake to me. And he's not only so good at lying, but so quick to default to it, that Lion doesn't feel accurate.
Egbert the Careless, dragonborn paladin Poor Egbert, the worst paladin. While his original order really seems to prioritize a very classic Paragon Lion Primary, Egbert barely seems to have a model of one -- it's more of a performance, which is being chipped steadily away by the rest of the party. He tries, but I can't see a genuine Lion Primary from his background killing people so casually. Or hitting an old man with a cursed mace over and over until he turns into a seal. And then keeping the seal as a pet. Or just... saying "maybe crime is good!" because he likes the food at the crime den. He's trying, but he's really not good at it. So the question remains: what is he?
I think it's hard to place him because, one, he really want to be that Lion. And second, whatever he is, I think the values that motivation is set on are... kind of in flux? I don't think he's super burned; I think he might be lightly charred at best. But: if he's a Bird, he's in the process of losing the truth of "whatever the Order of the Dragon Door says is right" to something that comes more from the party and probably more genuinely. If he's a Badger, he's in the process of changing communities. If he's a Snake, the Order is getting pushed more and more out of his inner circle, replaced by the party.
I was leaning Badger, but the more I think about it, I think that's the remnants of the attempt to play Lion. I think Egbert's a Snake Primary who is starting to shed his old skin. (There's like three layers of bad joke in that, and I'm sorry.) The Lion priorities made that Snake look a little more Badger-y, but he does so, so many things that just don't strike me as caring deep down about need. Like the thing where he turned an old man into a seal. I just keep looking at that incident and I either need to completely ignore that incident -- which is hard, when Seal Gaiman is still hanging around -- or go with something else. His reaction to Dana's bigotry in Snow Mercy does feel a little more Badger-y to me... but that could still be that Lion Performance flavoring, and/or a symptom of how the party as a whole gets pissed about anti-tiefling sentiment coming out in sympathy of another maligned race. I also feel like a Badger would be working a little more actively on atonement and stop getting distracted.
He is, however, a very loud Lion Secondary. While the party as a whole does a lot of ploys that involve deceit or talking their way into things, Egbert is rarely the one doing that part. He doesn't bother with subtlety, or with doing any of the many things he can as a paladin, which is how we got the whole glorious "you've been able to teleport for how long?" moment. He does sometimes manage to make connections that move the story along, and he always does it by being himself.
But most of all, I can't think of a better word to describe how Egbert attacks a situation than charging. I'm just going to quote again from the site:
"their problems are met head on rather than subverted, negotiated, or cajoled. They have an efficiency so direct it’s almost combative."
And that seems like Egbert to a T.
Merilwen, wood elf druid Merilwen is a Badger Primary whose version of "people" is "animals, my community, and also I guess these four now". She doesn't really seem to care about what would traditionally be considered "people", and Ellen (who plays her) has spoken about how Merilwen's morals towards non-animals is pretty much entirely influenced by the party -- but with the things she cares about she strikes me as extremely Badger. She's absolutely ready to throw down everything for the party, but when they're not in danger from it, she will also absolutely fight the rest of them for an animal -- see that incident where she talked everyone out of fighting the Owlbear. "Animals are hurt" or "you hurt my friends" is the fastest way to bring out her viscous side.
She could also maybe be a Snake who includes all animals in her circle, but: one, I very much feel like she'd choose whether to prioritize her friends or an animal over who needs her more. Two, the way she interacts with her family and her community in Elf Hazard seems very Badger to me. Her worry about not being able to see her family again, her unwillingness to disappoint them and decision to take a new name to make them happy, even after the danger is past. Things like Merilwen's Meat-Grinder also strike me this way -- specifically, her willingness to do massive damage to save the party and subsequent discomfort with having done it, even though she doesn't care that much about the people who were hurt even after having done it. "Fair and loyal" seems like a good way to sum up her morality in general. Her being so close to Dob and understanding each other so well also adds to this (even if a lot of that likely has to do with Ellen and Luke (who plays Dob) being so close as much as anything, but if I try to separate out things that are OOC-influence I will be here forever).
I'm torn between the foundational Secondaries for her: Bird, or Badger. There is something about her likelihood to fall back on "I turn into a [cat/bear/octopus]" as a plan that feels a little Bird-like to me -- that fallback on the favored, most well-used, best-understood tools, even in situations where it takes a little forcing to make them fit. On the other hand, she seems to be the one most likely to see a job that's not being done as part of the plan, and go fill that role. She's certainly steady, trustworthy, quiet, and consistent. I don't think she has a problem with shortcuts on many things, but could see her raising objections about things she actively cares about. She also often solves things by connecting with animals, which fits when you consider her people/community largely being animal-based. I'm still a little back and forth on this, but in the end, I'm going to lean towards a Badger Secondary.
Prudence, tiefling warlock I'm having a hard time putting my finger on Prudence. I think this is partly Jane's play style -- I feel like she's the least likely to go into what's going on in Prudence's head or why she's doing things, and she doesn't really have a driving goal we're aware of except "do things to make Cthulhu pleased", but that's mostly along the way. She's not a Badger. I would lean towards not a Lion; I guess it's possibly she's a Lion whose gut morality is about hedonism, "I should have what I want", or something like that, but I really don't get the impression that she has much of an internal morality overall. "Some things are just wrong and you can't talk your way out of it" (to quote the Lion/Gryffindor Primary page) absolutely does not sound like something Prudence would ever thing.
So again we're between the decided Primaries: Bird or Snake? I could see her being a Bird, but I have no idea what her truth is at this point. Still, I want to lean towards Snake Primary, specifically one that was burnt. We're going into how-IC-was-this-anyway territory here again, but there's a moment early on, in Brawl of the Wild, where Jane is narrating Prudence hurling herself in front of two of the others and stops mid-narration to ask "wait, why am I doing that" -- it feels incredibly like a Snake who's found themselves unburning while they weren't paying attention and now is trying to figure out how this happened. She's also pretty open with how fond she is of the party, pleased as punch when Corazón burns down the house of a guy who's an asshole to her, even more pleased when Egbert seems corruptible, seems genuinely happy that the group has gotten more lax about killing, and of course there's "You'll never leave me, Corazón, I'll kill you first" and hugging the Egbert-statue after he's been kidnapped when no one can see her.
But more than the party, what makes me lean towards Snake is her relationship with her warlock patron. There's nothing cold, nothing business-like, it's not even worshipful: Cthulhu-dad is kind of a joke, but... it's also not? Even if the actual fatherly-ness of it can be read as joking, she still genuinely seems to have warm, loving feelings for him, and that particular set-up really strikes me a loyalist thing.
(That gives us an all-loyalist party, but honestly, considering they're not the most moral people around and how quickly they all bond... that kind of works?)
Bird Secondary -- her plans tend to be the most practical, she has her favored methods for handling things, and her interest in all things magic strikes me as very Bird-with-a-favorite-thing. Her Bird seems pretty good at reading people, too, particularly knowing the party's strengths -- which is often chaos and making things up. She's not quite a rapid-fire as Corazón, but she's pretty good on her feet if need be... it's just that her lack of interest in what's morally right means the plan she usually pulls out is "eldritch blast". To be fair, it usually works.
IN SUMMATION:
Corazón: Snake Primary/Bird Secondary (possible Snake performance)
Dob: Badger Primary/Snake Secondary (possible Badger model)
Egbert: Snake Primary (attempting to model the Order and possibly Shattershield's Lion Primary, which comes off weirdly Badger-ish in the end)/Lion Secondary
Merilwen: Badger Primary (whose "people" are animals, the elf community she grew up in, and now the Oxventurers)/Badger Secondary
Prudence: Unburning Snake Primary/Bird Secondary
OXVENTURE IN THE DARK BONUS ROUND:
Very recently they've begun an Oxventure spin-off series, playing Blades in the Dark instead. We're only two episodes in, and since part of the plan is to rotate who's in each episode, most of them are only in one -- and since we've gotten so little of the new group, and so much can change as the players learn their characters and find their feet, I can't confidently sort them right now. But I think it'd be interesting to share some initial impressions and see how they hold up down the line. Spoilers for both episodes if anyone's behind, I'll put Lillith and Barnaby last just to be sure.
Edvard: If Edvard the inventor is not a Bird Secondary, I will eat my hat. I could see him going the way of the traditional SHC impulsive scientists who do things For Science, and ending up in Lion/Bird territory, or going towards Bird/Bird; at the moment I don't think he'll be a loyalist, but we'll see!
Zillah: I think we know less about Zillah than anyone else at this point, but we do know that, one, she's doing crime to get money for her family, and two, she seems pretty level-headed. I'm thinking maybe a Lion Secondary, leaning away from Bird Primary but at this point could see anything else.
Kasamir: Between his class/playbook being about having his fingers in a lot of crime pies, Johnny saying he's not really good at anything besides crime, and his slight mentor-y vibe in episode one, I'm getting Badger Secondary or Bird Secondary vibes -- leaning Badger right now, but we'll see. (I'm also getting Mozzie-from-White-Collar-but-more-physical vibes, but I cannot find the sorting that Moz used to be under, unfortunately. I want to say either Badger/Bird or Bird/Badger.) He doesn't strike me as a Lion Primary at this point, but we'll see.
Lillith: I was going to say Bird Secondary because she's leaning so hard into the intellectual, but so far she has tried to solve problems by befriending a ghost girl and convincing the workers to start a union so.... I'm feeling some Badger/Lion or Lion/Badger vibes coming off her at this point. She might slide into a more Bird-y role in the future, or it might end up looking more like a model.
Barnaby: Despite having gotten through two episodes now basically saving the day by being himself, I don't get Lion Secondary vibes from him -- actually, I'm thinking he could end up a Badger Secondary, just extremely far on the Courtier Badger side of the scale, and one that’s very full of himself. Not sure on that yet, though. Primary: no idea, but probably not Badger.
#sorting hat chats#oxventure#i should probably wait til it's not 6:30 am; reread this; and make it shorter#but screw it! have my rambling!#if you read all this you get a cookie#but it's out of my head now at least#there are many other sortings i'd like to do#we'll see if i ever get to them
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Okay, so for my clannibal people, I have two recs where something very like The Dynamic has recently appeared in media. The first one has far more caveats than the second, but the first one is also the one where the ship is canon and has kissing.
The Method a Russian series from 2015 (it’s on Netflix). It’s about a young ingenue who decides to become a cop because of lingering trauma around an unsolved violent parental death (check), she’s accepted as the protege of an eccentric genius (check) through somewhat shady circumstances with some kind of ulterior motive (check). He, the eccentric genius, is not a serial killer- he’s a detective, but he is an absolute human disaster whose erratic behaviour and extremely questionable morals are tolerated by the police because they can use him as a weapon. He has totally killed people.
‘Byronic Hero’ is a vast understatement.
This show is grim, graphic, and very dark; it takes an extremely dim view of humanity in general and it doesn’t provide the hope or catharsis that Clannibal does- the protagonist does not get to have it all, so be forewarned on that. The implicit worldview and assumed ethical framework of the series is honestly appalling and the main characters are all fairly reprehensible by the end, so if you’re not prepared to deal with a whole lotta ugliness I would say don’t watch it.
The selling point to me is that the characters are interesting and the ship is very compelling. Again, it’s canon, so you will get satisfaction, but the actual romance is somewhat subtextual most of the time. Their connection is the lynchpin of the series, but it’s more about the protagonist’s ‘education’ into his world and an exploration of what that world is than it is focussed on them falling in love. He has no illusions or intentions about having a future (with her or otherwise), he’s trying to pass on his ‘method’ to a worthy successor, so his attitude is heavily informed by that. She is being broken of what idealism she ever had (told you it was grim).
Anyway, their relationship is very fucked up and the series has a legit horrifying (also aggressively stupid) conception of what mental illness is like, but it was very engaging and it was totally unapologetic about the romanticism of the dark love story, so there is a lot there for you if you want to see something like a Clannibal dynamic again. Just don’t expect the positive turn or healing. The ending is not happy or hopeful in any sense. You could make a good argument it’s a full-on tragedy, though I don’t think that’s quite the intent. And the tragedy is Titus Andronicus. If that gives you an indication of how grim we’re talking.
The plot does completely fall apart by the end (it’s like if OUaT were an r-rated crime show, it becomes that much of a mess), but the acting is good and it remains very compelling because of the characters.
Tell Me What You Saw a kdrama from this year. THIS is what I’m talking about. A young ingenue decides to become a cop because of lingering trauma around an unsolved violent parental death (check), she’s accepted as the protege of an eccentric genius (check), through somewhat shady circumstances with some kind of ulterior motive (check). She has to go visit him alone in a giant, creepy old building where he is confined (ooo, new check). He, the eccentric genius, is on the side of the angels and is again not a serial killer lol. He is a legendary criminal profiler and ex-detective who spends most of the series as a somewhat morally ambiguous anti-hero. He’s brilliant, he’s troubled, he broods and plays mind games from on high, and he’s always 17 steps ahead of you. I love him. Also, crucially, he is hot:
The first six episodes have great build-up to a not-totally-unpredictable but still fairly epic twist and then, sadly, the following episode is a bit of an anti-climax from what felt like it should be the jumping off point where the series kicked into high gear but turned out to be a bunch of wandering around aimlessly in very loosely connected episodic plots. There’s narrative justification for this, but I did feel like someone slammed on the breaks and switched gears. It takes a while to regain momentum and is never quite as focussed or well-balanced again.
The pros of the series are its very strong characters played by mostly very strong actors, quality atmosphere, great action, good suspense, and loads and loads of interesting relationships brimming with potential. The one that interests me most being, of course, the one between the protagonist and the profiler. It’s pretty much exactly the clannibal dynamic- he picks her apart and challenges her for his own reasons and then comes to enormously respect her; she is at first intimidated and angry but gives as good as she gets until she reaches a point of growth where she can challenge him in return. And, in the end, he has helped her self-actualise and become who she wanted to be and she helps him heal from his past to the point she can radically alter his outlook on life.
Their relationship is ultimately very positive for both and remains central to the series throughout. There are complicated feelings at play that are given some time in the spotlight, but it is sadly underdeveloped from what it should have been imo. Especially on his side. And there is no romance or explicit attraction, though I think the show supports her at least having a crush on him. If it had ‘gone there’ it would not have shocked anyone, let’s put it that way. They could have gone there. It is one of those flawed canons with good characters super ripe for fic. (Please watch this show and write fic so I can read it, is what I’m saying.)
The cons are that the story ends up being ridiculous on multiple levels and there are some intensely irritating moments of characters being profoundly idiotic and unreasonable just to keep the plot going. Incoherent motivation, mainly for the heroes, is a BIG problem. Apparently rampant police incompetence (including from all the main characters) is the second biggest problem. There is a fantastic female character who is the team leader for our main cops and she gets hit with both of these possibly the worst of anyone. The big reveal about her also makes no fucking sense. There was a maybe cliché but perfectly serviceable route they could have gone instead without changing anything, it seemed like they were setting it up, but they just go with... nothing. And in retrospect this undermines her entire character for the whole series. Which hurts because she was genuinely awesome.
So yeah. There are logic problems and all three ongoing major questions in the overarching story basically have terrible ‘solutions’, but it is extremely well-made in every other respect and the characters remained compelling enough that I couldn’t stop watching. The single-episode mysteries are usually very good with good pacing and satisfying resolutions. It’s consistently entertaining despite the frustration and it manages to pull out a fucking GREAT A+++++ ending right when you’re about to get super pissed off about more deterministic grim teenage nihilism ruining everything. The protagonist got to learn from all her experiences without losing her optimism, rise above adversity and be rewarded for her faith, and it was honestly so nice to get that. So unexpectedly hopeful and uplifting. I love a story that gets dark but never despairs.
If they make a second series with the same cast, I will be there with bells on.
#clannibal#media recs#tell me what you saw#the profiler is very OP in the best way I love this character type and I'm not ashamed#give me a super OP mess and I'm so happy#(as long as the narrative realises that they are a mess)#( if it doesn't then it's just ugggggh and probably heading for PCM at best and studom at worst)#anyway this is the same actor as played the insane love interest in Fated to Love You#Korean Johnny Depp#jang hyuk#he's pretty great#he's also an ex-boxer and real life martial artist whose entire body is rock hard so he's got that going for him as well#this show is very nearly Peak Aesthetic for him (all black clothes sunglasses shoulder length hair unnnf)#he needs the long hair#short hair does not suit him#(I realise I'm biased but it really doesn't)#this opinion has been reinforced mightily by this show and the show I watched him in where it was even shorter than in the shit half of FtL#(which is Wok of Love which I do not recommend at all it's terrible)#although that show also had bad lighting/direction which I'm sure didn't help#I mean it's Peak Aesthetic until they inexplicably decide to dress him exclusively in giant fluffy coats he never takes off (yes i'm salty)#why does this character have five different giant black coats what's that about#back to TMWYS now btw#my tag rambles are getting more confusing#he had a smart peacoat in the beginning and then it's all huge parkas#I understand it's apparently always freezing in studios and it was winter but cold is temporary looking cool is forever lmao#kdrama
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Brick Club 1.3.7 “The Wisdom Of Tholomyes”
Oh my god there’s so much in this chapter, I’m so sorry for how long this is.
It’s probably just me, but this speech, or at least the beginning of it, reminds me of the way Shakespeare tends to write characters that are obnoxiously lecturing other characters (Polonius in particular comes to mind for some reason).
Tholomyes drunkenly stands up and tells everyone to slow down, to both eat and talk more slowly. But two chapters ago Hugo said they had finished eating. Go home, Tholomyes, you’re drunk. Tholomyes compares Talleyrand and Grimod de la Reyniere, one was a connoisseur of wine, the other of food, which is probably a “these people say savor your meals” statement.
Everyone else wants him to shut the hell up so they can continue their conversations and/or singing, which is funny. Also, I see so much Grantaire in this entire speech. Only, instead of a “down with your claws” remark going ignored, Tholomyes’ “You are it’s marquis” pun makes everyone quiet down, which he obviously takes as an invitation.
Tholomyes first segment about puns absolutely sounds like Hugo being extremely self-aware. He has an unlikable character criticize and disparage the excess use of puns, fully knowing the amount of puns that will be used later on in this book. Hugo mentions irony in conjunction with Tholomyes in 1.3.2, here he’s really displaying it.
According to wikipedia, the Jesus/Peter pun is due to a Greek translation, where “Peter” is translated to “Petros” and then the same sentence also contains the word “petra” (rock), so that Jesus is saying “Thou art Rock, and upon this rock will I build my church.” The Polynices pun is from Aeschylus’ play Seven Against Thebes. At one point the play’s chorus describes Polynices and his brother Eteocles as being “true to each other’s names, both truly lamentable (eteokleitoi) and both full of strife (polyneikeis).” The Cleopatra pun is basically Cleopatra mocking Antony, who is upset that Caesar is late to battle, calling Caesar’s tardiness harmless. The “prudence of Amphiaraus” is also a pun, since Amphiaraus was a Greek king and seer who continuously did things knowing they’d go wrong or fail. The “baldness of Caesar” pun is a play on words because “Caesar” means “hairy child” and Caesar himself was balding.
I’ve just realized that the “Est modus in rebus” (Moderation in all things) line is what reminds me of Polonius. I can’t help but think of his “neither a borrower nor a lender be” lecture towards Laertes.
Tholomyes suddenly gets a little more ominous and foreshadowing as he talks about how love should not be overloaded, and there must be restraint and ends to things, even love. “The wise man is he who knows when and how to stop. Have some confidence in me.” I love this for a few reasons. First, Tholomyes is pretty drunk here, and he’s the one calling for moderation in all things. Ha! Second, it’s funny that he’s telling people to have confidence in him when they all seem to want him to be quiet. Third, he’s got an interesting way of interpreting “how to stop.”
Which is actually a line that’s interesting to me. Previously I kind of thought this cruel prank was a thing he’d done to women many times before, with other friends. Except this “the wise man is he who knows when and how to stop” line sounds like he’s talking about trying to extricate himself from this whole situation. Maybe he’s never knocked up a grisette before; certainly he’s probably never had one actually fall in love with him before, since usually everyone’s on the same page. He wants out of this relationship that’s more than he signed up for. It’s definitely time to stop, and this is apparently the only “how” he knows?
Sylla was the first republican to seize power via military coup; but at the end of his dictatorship, when he had imposed all the changes he wanted, he abdicated and retired. I don’t understand the Origenes line, but I think that’s due to my cluelessness when it comes to the way different areas of Christianity work.
He pronounces “friends” in a few different languages, which I can only imagine as being very slurred and with sloppy, ridiculous gestures. He waxes poetic (or something) about how to have no passion or love. I can’t tell if he’s talking about having an affair without falling into marriage/love, or feeling nothing at all. In the next lines he certainly seems annoyed with himself for getting mixed up with someone who has actual feelings for him.
Here’s more shades of Grantaire. Tholomyes has this whole rant on each country’s measurements; Grantaire has his rant on each country’s popular trade. But Grantaire’s is a political and social critique, while I think Tholomyes’ might be a dick joke?
Tholomyes isn’t even subtle about his affair with Favourite here. He straight up insults Zephine and calls her ugly, I think he insinuates that Dahlia is boring, and then he basically dismisses Fantine and calls her an airhead. And in the middle of this he sings Favourite’s praises. He specifically calls attention to her mouth. Also, he refers to her with “tu” instead of “vous,” the first time he uses the familiar with her, at least with company around.
God, he talks about Fantine like she’s not even there. What an asshole. I hate him so much. He talks about Fantine like she’s not there, and she doesn’t do or say anything to contradict that. Again, she gets no dialogue in this chapter. Where is Fantine at, mentally, in all of this? Because Hugo does this a lot: he’ll describe someone or something in idealized tones, and then a chapter or two later a character will have dialogue describing that same person/thing, but in much more down-to-earth ways. Fantine and Cosette are both described in conjunction with birds. Only, Cosette is a bird, and Fantine is staring off into space, imagining birds. Honestly if we’re still going about this with the headcanon that she’s on the spectrum (which I am, I love it), this sounds like an overstimulation shut down. Hell, my adhd brain does the same thing when I’m in places that are really loud and busy and there’s not really a point of focus. If everyone around them is yelling and laughing and singing as much as they are, then it’s probably horrific in this pub.
Tholomyes is so blatant here about his intentions around Fantine. “I am an illusion--but she doesn’t not even hear me...” I think this piece of dialogue is twofold. Tholomyes is again hinting at his plan to leave, to end everything; his relationship with Fantine is so fake as to be an illusion. But it’s also here to describe Fantine, who is dreaming up a relationship that doesn’t exist. I kind of get the feeling that Tholomyes hasn’t been very nice to Fantine for a while, hasn’t been trying to keep up the pretense of this relationship, and yet Fantine is so wrapped up in her own personal illusion that they’re in love that she is unable to notice or see his assholery.
Yet another shade of Grantaire here. This monologue describing Fantine made me think of R’s “Chowder is ugly” monologue. Tholomyes describes Fantine as the “daughter of chimeras” while Chowder is a chimera. They both get classical allusions: Fantine is a nymph, while Chowder is a gargoyle instead of Galatea. Chowder gets hair like lead, while Fantine is a jewel. Both men are drunkenly harassing women and being real obnoxious about it. The difference is a) Chowder is probably used to it as waitress and Grantaire doesn’t seem to mean genuine harm and b) Tholomyes is “in a relationship” with Fantine, and that’s no way to treat someone, and it definitely sounds like he’s mocking her in front of her face to other people.
The “too much sugar” rant goes with the marriage one, I think. According to Tholomyes, women are too obsessed with the fairytale-type nice things, spend too much time imagining sweetness like a wedding. I’m not sure how popular trash romances were at the time (I know Hugo mentions that Mme. Thenardier reads them) but I wonder if he’s referencing reading those as well.
“Make conquests. Rob each other without remorse of your beloved. Crisscross and double cross. In love, there are no friends. Wherever there’s a pretty woman, there’s open warfare....” You know what, I think Tholomyes actually really wants Fantine to figure it out. At first I thought he was being an annoying asshole and acting like this because he knows she doesn’t get it so he doesn’t care. But I actually think he wants to see her put it together. He’s still talking in metaphors and references, but I think he wants Fantine to realize that he’s cheating, that he doesn’t love her back and this is just a fling. He wants her to be on the same level as everyone else. I don’t know if he wants it so that there’s a better chance of them getting away without consequences, or if he’s a cruel bastard (he is) who wants to watch her world collapse. He’s been saying it louder and louder and more and more obviously as the speech goes on. But as he says just a paragraph before, Fantine just doesn’t get it. Either she truly doesn’t notice, or she refuses to see. He describes her as so distant here, I think she truly doesn’t notice or get it.
This is also a bunch of references to women who were historically raped. He basically seems to be saying that when you refuse to settle down, you get the “benefit” of being the enemy and taking other people’s partners. Gross. Hugo really knows how to write a slimy, unlikable asshole. And even his friends seem to think he’s going to far, because they tell him to stop talking, and when it seems like he’s going to start up again, they sing some annoying rhyming song. Why they thought that would shut him up, I don’t know.
He really does spend this whole speech dropping hints. “Let’s finish our course of study with folly and food” sounds like he’s talking about messing around with the women, but also definitely sounds like a hidden “ooh, you’re about to get tricked and feel so stupid.”
He spouts off a bunch more springtime allusions (comparing nightingales to the opera singer Jean Elleviou, Jardin du Luxembourg, pastorals about various upper-class streets, etc.) The pampas line is interesting. Pampas are big open fertile lowlands in South America, as compared to the covered arcades of the Odeon theatre. Again I think this is a twofold joke: on the one hand, literally the Pampas is a place Tholomyes could go and become a landowner and be a rich independent colonizer, but he feels he does perfectly fine shmoozing at the the theatre in Paris. Less literally, this could also be a sex joke, similar to Grantaire’s “if only I wanted to,” only worse. Basically he’s saying “look at all these girls I could go fuck in other places, but I get enough tail in the theatres of Paris.” Gross.
He then kisses Favourite “by mistake.” I think at this point he knows Fantine is never going to get it. But Favourite is clearly in on the joke. He doesn’t even care anymore, he’ll cheat on Fantine in front of all of them because they all kind of know except Fantine--who isn’t going to figure it out, obviously.
#les miserables#les miserables meta#brickclub#lm 1.3.7#les mis#les mis meta#y'all have no idea how much fun i have researching the references#even though sometimes i don't know enough about french history to really dig deep
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28. in the light of day
It’s been snowing a great deal lately, the weather has prepared a very cruel gift in the form of endless northern winds and icy pavements that have the potential of ruining someone’s day. And the someone has to be none other than Gavin, because the universe recognises that he deserves it the most. The days in December are shorter than his attention span, and the darkness that surrounds him when he’s returning from work is subconsciously making him quicken his pace. There is plenty on his mind, things that he wishes he never did and the little miracles he wishes went of forever, and perhaps that’s why his feet don’t get the most attention and when he steps on a particularly slippy block of ice that once was a muddy puddle, nothing stops him from falling straight on his backside. It hurts like bitch, so much so his eyes water and he’s overwhelmed by dizziness. But it also might be that cold that he’s already waiting to shake by doing absolutely nothing in order for that to happen. He lugs his heavy body up and is immediately greeted by a coughing fit suggesting that he should really not be outside in this condition, especially so when the low temperature is unforgiving enough to freeze rivers.
“Phck.” He tries to curse his affliction away, but like every time he does so, it only manages to piss him off even more.
Gavin is already angry as is, even more so than he’s by default. It’s all his fault, he begrudgingly admits, because doing otherwise would imply that him shouting at Connor is someone else’s responsibility. He was doing okay for such a long time, tried his absolute best to make the android like him, and not only because he wanted to get rid of the guilt that has been gnawing on his mind since the end of the revolution, but because he let himself catch feelings for the ridiculously beautiful robot. It worked, at first, they were getting along pretty well, despite Gavin being his ever-so-charming self. It was probably thanks to his heartfelt apology, at which he still physically cringes each time its memory crosses his mind. But then something snapped inside of him - maybe it was the jealousy that acted up when he saw Connor becoming friends with other, more attractive people, or he just tried to self-sabotage himself, since he had been dangerously close to kissing that stupid android. Because he’s well aware that he has zero rights to go anywhere near there, even thinking about it triggers an alarm that signals his unworthiness.
But it’s oh so cold here and all he wants is a warm hug from the person he likes the most. His nose is leaking and his throat his being cut with a thousand knives, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to get home when his every move is soaked in pain. He should probably lie down right here and wait for the end to come. He’ll either get better or the blessed oblivion takes him, both options are equally desirable to him. But he has to do one important thing first.
He fumbles for his phone and forces his freezing hand to type in the security code so he can open the texting app. His fingers are numb and his vision blurry, but he succeeds in writing the three overused words that have been floating around his mind since this afternoon when he returned Connor’s worry with a harsh dismissal. If he could take it back, he’d never allow himself to yell at the only person who cares.
“I’m sorry.”
Like that will repair their relationship which he so selfishly damaged.
He’s pretty sure he sends it, but then again it’s hard to see anything when there are tears flooding his vision. He slides down against the wall of some empty building that stands half a mile from his apartment building, ready to accept his fate. His eyelids must be made out of lead for he can’t keep them up, and with every passing minute, his breathing gets slower, since his lungs are on fire and he’d be happier not having to inhale oxygen at all. This could be it, his final night. He’s thought that he wouldn’t struggle against his departure when it finally came, but as he’s now, dying alone in some abandoned back alley, he wishes nothing more than to see the light of day once more.
If only his car didn’t break down, if only Connor liked him enough to brush off his unfair behaviour. He thinks he hears his phone vibrate, but he’s too weak to even open his eyes. This is it then, his final stop.
He must have fallen asleep at some point, because there is a familiar voice calling his name, and he can feel those soft hands on his face. It’s fitting that his last dream would be about Connor, his biggest regret would mock him till the bitter end after all.
“Gavin, please open your eyes.” He can sense the urgency in the android’s voice, the worry that has been there earlier today, and he automatically looks up at the sight he’s longed to see since leaving the office, still believing that it’s just an illusion.
“Con…” He wonders how he’s able to speak when he barely has the strength to focus his vision.
“You stupid motherfucker.”
Yeah, he deserves that.
When he gets lifted up, his head hanging down from the android’s shoulder, he contemplates on this being real and not his farewell fantasy. It gets confirmed through the sharp pain that assaults him when he gets thrown to a backseat of some car.
“I’m so fucking mad at you,” Connor mumbles as the car drives them god knows where. He’s sitting next to him, possibly his thighs being the cushion on which Gavin’s sore head rests. A soothing cold hand is threading through his damp hair and he’s sure they’re on their way to heaven because there is no way this moment belongs into his fucked up reality. The other hand lands on his forehead, acting as the ice-pack he craves so much since despite how cold his body is, he’s three seconds short of self-combustion.
“103.1 degrees. Maybe I should call an ambulance.”
“No!” Gavin manages to croak out because he really can’t afford a hospital stay with his lack of savings and shitty health-insurance.
“Okay.” Connor’s voice is the thing that keeps him from passing out. Because as long as hears it, his ache is limited to his physical body. And that’s much easier to bear.
“You have to stop pushing me away whenever I show a hint of worry, if you want to live that is.” He can discern the threat that comes with the demand, and he’s tempted to smirk in Connor’s face, though he doesn’t, and not only because he doesn’t have the strength to do it.
He wants to thank Connor, needs him to keep talking to him, but he has already depleted his words for the day, and so he’s left to the mercy of chance. If he’s lucky, his gratitude is being transmitted through the relief he’s drowning in, and with each second Connor speaks at him, he’s being more and more convinced that maybe the android likes him back.
“I’m taking you to my place, but we have to stop for some medical supplies first.”
The silent hum of the car is lulling him to sleep, and Connor’s proximity is not helping much. He feels safe, cared for even. And he doesn’t want to wake up and find out that it was just a part of his wishful thinking, that he hallucinated this whole thing.
Fortunately, the car comes to a sudden stop and that enhances his alertness by a smidge.
“I’ll be right back.”
He’s about to beg him not to go when he’s reminded that he lost the gift of speech, and so he exhales sharply and lets Connor leave his space.
As soon as he’s alone again, he can’t fight his exhaustion anymore and lets the darkness envelop him whole.
He feels himself tug at his lifeline, watching the world as it distorts before his eyes in the most painful way possible, never sure whether the waking world would be the lesser evil.
When he finally does open his eyes again, he finds himself tucked under a heavy comforter, head rested on an actual fluffy pillow this time.
But the only person he’d like to see right now is nowhere to be found, and as he realises that, his lungs decide to act out and he’s yet again nothing but a coughing machine.
It must be the middle of the night since it’s still pitch black outside the window, and he doesn’t notice the approaching silhouette until it’s standing right beside him.
“Drink this.” He notices the yellow light coming from Connor’s temple, which is almost the same colour as the liquid he’s being offered. It doesn’t look appetising whatsoever, not even if he could trust his stomach. But he obeys and does is best to swallow as much of it as his insides can handle.
When he’s done with it, he hands the half-full mug back to the android and panics when he sets to leave from his bed-side.
“Don’t go.” The nap must have restored some of his energy, for he’s able to grip Connor’s arm. Gavin is burning on the inside while being trapped in a snowstorm, and he’s afraid to be swept away by the pain if there’s no one to around to save him.
“I won’t.”
He doesn’t know if Connor keeps his promise since he drifts off before he has a chance to struggle against the pull of sleep.
The next thing that brings him back from his slideshow of nightmares is fingers tickling one of his cheeks. The breath that he takes as he regains his consciousness already tells him that he’s on his way to recovery.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Gavin finds out that there is something more he wishes to see than the light of day, although it’s great to know that he successfully survived the night.
It’s the soft smile on Connor’s face, the two bottomless eyes, and the LED ring shining bright blue.
And maybe now, when it’s so bright and his demons are taking a break, Gavin can allow himself to be utterly, completely honest about his feelings.
Because when they managed to get through the unforgiving darkness of night, there’s no reason why the blissful daylight should break what they were able to build together.
@convinseptember I have only a vague idea of where I was going with this xD
#convinseptember#convin#sick-fic#my longest yet#I'm tempted to expand on this story#people being ill or injured is my weakness xD#also quite poorly written but I'm also not feeling very peachy so blame it on that :D
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