#I have no idea yet
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Right so your recent sibling is currently asleep but his name is Vanilla extract! A recent addition where adoption papers and natural reproduction seemed to have merged
Hey black sapphire cookie has a new microphone buddy! Go see him
*throws you at black sapphire cookie
@theblacksapphirecookie
Oh? Thats nice- wait hey!!!
*he gets flings across towards the where black sapphire resides*
Ow……
#famous last words#i have no idea yet#Will it? Like does it pose danger or smth?#Well good luck sire#Enjoy more trauma
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WIP WEDNESDAY
I've agonized over this for like 6 hours. I tried to find the "least dark" thing that was in a shareable state. Every WIP I have is only a first draft.
Beneath the cut I've hidden: extremely light mention of spice. Light combat. Swords. One mention of a very small and superficial wound with zero descriptors.
I likely won't participate in this often but I've mentioned my writing enough in tags that I should probably share a snippet-
In the Underdark there was no sun to mark the passing of a day, only an eternal night flecked with the colorful lights of bioluminescence and magic. The Drow city was densely packed into a large cavern, with eight noble houses rising like giant stalagmites, reaching towards misty clouds that formed and fell in a never ending cycle. There were certain hours when activity dwindled and the world felt quiet and the magical glow dimmed, but it never went out.
During such an hour, when the off duty guards were in the barracks beginning to reverie, Viedyn took advantage of an empty training hall. As captain of the guard he was expected to be the best of them and he kept his skills honed accordingly. In the absence of a proper sparring partner at such an odd hour he put himself through a series of drills instead. He enjoyed the familiarity of the repetition and the weight of his sword and shield in hand. The air itself whined as his blade skillfully cut through it. He threw his power behind every practiced thrust and slash, relishing the way it made his muscles burn. The wicked black armor he wore moved fluently with his body, the metal plates sliding over one another smoothly while his long black velvet cloak whipped behind him.
The sound of footsteps that were not his own halted his sword mid air. He diverted the momentum into a flourish and brought the weapon to rest at his side, turning to see that two guards had entered the hall. His chest tightened when he realized they both wore the crimson cloak of the Matron's personal guard. Neither wore a red crested helmet or carried the large black spear they would've had if they were on duty, but that did little to ease his concern. He held no authority over them, they only answered to the Matron. They had their own training halls and barracks so there were few reasons for them to be in his, especially at that hour.
The shorter of the two guards was unfamiliar to him, but he instantly recognized the taller one as Savri. She was as powerful as she was cunning. Weeks prior, she’d ambushed him in a dark corridor, slamming his back into a wall with enough force to knock the breath out of him before he could even draw his sword. He'd been uncertain of her intentions until her lips graced the edge of his ear and she told him exactly what she wanted from him. Her words were only accentuated by the press of her hand against the armor between his legs, catching his breath in his throat. It had almost unraveled him.
Now, facing the prospect of dealing two armored Matron's guards, he wished it had.
Drow society placed heavy expectations on him, especially as a noble born male, to oblige such requests. But in a society which values power above all else, there was nothing more intimate or dangerous than relinquishing that power.
Savri's previous attempt to claim him ended with his sword against her throat and the point of her dagger nestled between his ribs just beneath the side buckle of his armor. Equally matched. They stood in the corridor, breathless, locked in a deadly embrace and traded barbs so closely that they could feel each other's breath with every word. If she'd closed the distance between them and sealed her lips against his, he would have surrendered. Instead, she vowed to take him and he'd smiled wickedly and invited her to try.
Power and pride bound them both.
Viedyn watched impassively as the unknown guard barred the door, making it clear that his invitation had been accepted. The two approached him side by side, each resting a hand upon the hilt of their sword. They had worn their hair up, Savri's in a neat braid and the other's in a low bun, which told him they anticipated a fight. Against two he would be at a severe disadvantage. The training hall was wide enough that they'd be able to maneuver around him easily. Even with his skills and training he wouldn't last long once they managed to flank him.
He rolled his shoulders beneath his armor as they approached and clicked his tongue condescendingly. “My disposition must really gall you if you're reducing yourself to relying on assistance to take me, Savri.”
A dark smile graced her sharp features. “On the contrary, Viedyn, I enjoy difficult males like you because it makes overpowering them more satisfying.”
“Enough that you're willing to share?” He teased.
“If it achieves my goal." Savri replied with a hint of annoyance seeping into her tone.
Viedyn inclined his head in a mockery of a bow. “I'm flattered you would make such a concession.”
“Then drop your weapon and surrender yourself, I would prefer to take you unscathed.”
“No.” He wasn't intrigued enough to obey. As the first son of his house and the Captain of the guard, his obedience wasn't given freely. He was, however, intrigued enough to stay even in the face of certain defeat.
“You're outmatched.”
“I am.” Viedyn admitted coolly, raising his shield and sliding his foot back into a ready position. “But I would be remiss if I deprived you of the challenge you enjoy.”
“Fine.”
Viedyn lunged before either of them drew, slamming his shield into Savri, sending her stumbling back and buying him a few precious seconds to focus on the guard she'd brought with her. She was shorter and slighter in build than him but she was still highly trained. He swung hard and she drew just in time to block his blade. Steel screeched against steel as he pressed the attack. He had her in an awkward position with her blade still angled downwards from the draw and her arms trembled beneath the effort to hold him off. Up close he was able to study her face, it was one he'd seen before but he had no name to match it. Her dark lips were drawn back in a fierce snarl which bared her teeth and her bright red eyes seethed. He couldn't tell if she wanted him, or if she simply wanted the satisfaction of laying him out. Given her position and his, both were strong possibilities.
Footsteps to his left drew his focus and he saw the attack in time to raise his shield. There was a satisfying clang of metal and he felt the power of the strike reverberate through his arm. In the same instant he hooked the other guard's ankle with his foot and yanked hard, sending her stumbling backwards, granting him the opportunity to throw his weight into shoving Savri back with his shield before she could strike again.
“I thought you wanted me unscathed, Savri.” Viedyn taunted as he took up a ready position once more. Raising his sword and shield defensively.
“I said I would prefer it.” She corrected him.
They closed in on him in unison, Savri aiming low while the other went high, playing to his disadvantage. Viedyn dropped to one knee, slamming the bottom of his tall kite shield into the ground as he did so, ducking easily beneath it to deprive Savri of a target while he raised his sword and caught the second attack on the downswing. He sprung to his feet and used the momentum to force them back once more. It wasn't something he would've tried on a battlefield. In the training hall it was just risky and unexpected enough to be advantageous once, he wouldn't get away with it a second time.
He could tell Savri was pulling her strikes to avoid maiming him. A deflection off the top of his shield which could've sliced his cheek open stopped short, and a brief opportunity to skewer his thigh went ignored. The other guard was far bolder and he had to watch himself more carefully when she went on the offensive.
Savri went low and he smirked even though he was forced to jump out of the way to avoid her. She was likely trying to bait him into taking his shield to the ground again. The second guard took advantage of his abrupt change in position and pressed another series of attacks. One sent his sword wide and he was forced to take another hit against his shield. When he dropped the shield to engage her third attack he realized he'd lost sight of Savri.
The sting of a sword nicking the back of his leg let him know exactly where she was, and that she wanted him to know where she was. Her subtle way of taunting him.
With renewed urgency he pressed his own attack against the second guard, driving her back with a powerful strike, buying himself precious time. He twisted and caught the glint of Savri's blade out of the corner of his eye. Out of instinct he raised his shield and the strike glanced off but he didn't have time to answer her with an attack of his own before he had to turn once more. They were wearing him down quickly and his muscles burned from the exertion.
The second guard was already charging when he turned and he ducked behind his shield just in time to catch her blade against the top of it. In desperation he threw his shield arm wide, forcing her blade to follow and slashed at the same time, sending her backpedaling. He started to turn and froze when he felt the cold kiss of a blade against his throat. His cold blue eyes instantly flicked to the wielder and Savri greeted him with a satisfied smile.
She had him.
He remained still, closing his eyes for one long steady breath. When he opened them again his right hand followed suit, allowing his sword to drop to the ground with a loud clatter, acknowledging his surrender.
“There, that wasn't so difficult.” Savri purred in a dark and condescending tone. The edge of her sword ghosted over his skin with careful precision, sending chills throughout his body as she lifted it to the underside of his chin and pressed upwards. With regal grace, he rose to his full height and lowered his shield to his side, never taking his eyes off her as he did so.
#wip wednesday#just drow things#drow#I did it#this post consumed me#It's missing some physical descriptions#Mostly because I write chekov's guns backwards#So for certain things like their hair I'm waiting to see exactly how relevant the style is#Do we need to know which one is more boobily?#I have no idea yet#The second guard has a name#For now she's extra muscle#but she gets properly introduced later#I don't know how much more of this I will actually share#maybe at least one more bit in the future#because I want to do a gpose based off of it#but it does eventually turn up the heat#It's still wednesday somewhere#No really this was hard#I cannot stress enough that this is a first draft#my indentation was eaten#I kind of fixed it#we're rolling with it until I get up tomorrow
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When is the next part of the novel life
Yeah :)
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so many bands write songs about “relatable issues” that don’t resonate while the mountain goats write songs about issues no one has ever experienced before that are universal
#sometimes i legitimately have no idea what he is talking about but i also understand completely#like. the rivers *WERE* dry cuz it *WAS* late August!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!#and don’t even get me started on certain gardening secrets you don’t have yet (or certain gardening skills you’ll never learn)#the mountain goats#tmg
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lighthearted.
if this comic resonated with you, please consider donating to this palestinian escape fund (vetted by @/nabulsi and @/el-shab-hussein) as it is less than $7,000 away from it's goal.
i turn 24 today. To celebrate, I made this comic to be a spiritual successor to lead balloon, a comic in which I talked about the darkest period of my life so far.
A lot has changed since my 23rd birthday and this one. My priorities have shifted a lot, in ways that I think are mostly good. But i think the best part about today is that suicide has gone back to being a far away notion. I'm really lucky, and I'm grateful for that.
#yet another largely personal comic that kind of only has real impact to maybe four people#it's crazy what a difference a few months makes#and a trip to the beach that makes you glad you're still alive.#the last page is just me drawing my friends and I as our respective art sonas#credit to my best friend for inventing the designs#i keep copying their shit but its their fault for always having good ideas#ugghhh i love the people in my life so much and im so thankful for them#one of my friends gave me a vintage camera for my birthday#im going to take so many photos i could paper my walls with them#thank you for reading#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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Dog Man high school AU or something
#dog man#dog man high school au#dav pilkey#petey the cat#detey#everything literally has a high school au#i have no idea how the american school system works so idk if “school monitor” is even a common thing LMA#dog man isnt airing where i live so i havent gotten the chance to watch the movie yet sob depression#may expand on this au i find it hella cute ngl
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)


Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late

#just pretend I posted this like 6 days ago 😁👍#<-got distracted#sorry I’m Afflicted with The Curse and everything just takes me a long time#also right now I’m just kind of being experimental with my workflow and style right now so stuff is just naturally taking a bit longer#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#myart#anyway my new years resolution is to put more WOMEN in SUITS and MEN in DRESSES#had fun drawing this but still not too sure about the rendering style just yet. probably just gonna keep playing around with shit#IM DOING IT SCARED but im DOING IT#im also still trying to figure out how to Social Media#am i doing it right#GRAAAHHHHHHH I NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND FORMATTING POSTS#i have a more serious mouthwashing piece in the works but wanted to get this done first lol#honestly I have a buncha sketches I should post too#i like them but they’re not really composited very well if you catch my drift. been having trouble with sketch page layout recently#which is kind of antithetical to the idea of a sketch page but you know how it is with spaghetti#i doodled the others on the side and liked how they looked so i just put some color and basic shading on them#edit: realized i forgot to change the color of the ‘lapel’ on jims shirt lol
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Oiled up Telemachus when
Never. anyways-
Femboy telemachus my beloved (i like to think he had long hair when he was 18)
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
#i like to think antinous is one of the last suitors to join and yet got to lead them all with his pure charisma#that way i can make the ship work cause i hate the idea of antinous having a crush on a kid he WATCHED GROW HELLO ???#antinous x telemachus#yes im a multishipper#the suitors#epic the musical memes#epic the ithaca saga#epic the wisdom saga#eurymachus#antimachus#funny how this tag works for both ship#my art
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The true meaning behind FNAF princess quest
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#fnaf gregory#princess quest#security breach#I actually really like princess quest#especially its main theme is so good#I haven’t done any comics on it just yet because I didn’t know exactly what to do#people still have pretty intense theory fights about PQ#which I never wanna step on toes I’m an artist not a theorist#BUT I GOT this idea#I never really considered how Gregory and Vanessa feel about the game?#I feel like Vanessa in some way knows it’s about her#BUT GREGORY? doesn’t see it#to him she’s nothing like princess BAHAH#TO BE fair she has tired killing him before#kid can’t help but be a lil blunt 🩵
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Life's Mockery
next
#I have....so many ideas about this...#Inspired by handyman au? But i might do a different approach :D#hopefully i can draw them before my motivation runs out 😭😭#gravity falls#au#idk what to call it yet#bill cipher#axolotl#theraprism#comic#my art#also no more mascara privileges for bill#post-theraprism au
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source
#titan#titan submersible#oceangate#titanic#the titanic#''catastrophic implosion'' is how they're describing it#they have no idea if they can recover anything because of how deep it was#they also don't know yet when it imploded#I will say. the way they're wording this#it probably imploded before people started looking#they keep saying their listening devices would have heard an implosion#but that it did definitely implode#destiel meme#I love you meme#destiel confession meme#what is this meme actually called#I realize I have no idea
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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should've just let Vil be the one to fly, it would've gone SO much easier. 😔
also HEY how are everyone else's pulls going, because I have had the most RIDICULOUS luck, seriously, halloween magic is 100% real
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#kicking around some ideas for scully's UM poster so i'll talk about all that when we get to it#in the meantime i just have to show this off because...seriously look at it#is the halloween pickup count cumulative?! because i only did two ten-pulls for jamil...#i've only done three ten-pulls total in this event and yet somehow ended up with leona and two consecutive jamils#now it would be extremely funny if i didn't get sebek when he's the one i want the most...but let me hope#(i choose to believe this is an apology from the universe for my lack of both fairy gala ortho and masquerade malleus)#(thank you universe)#anyway i realize there is some irony in bragging about my jamil pulls and yet drawing vil instead#but...i just really wanted to draw nightmare vil okay#i thought i had posted art of good ol' pumpkin-stroker jamil already but i think i might actually have just dreamt that#brb gotta get onto fixing this problem
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Damian Wayne vs the World
Sixteen year old Damian Wayne is on the hunt for a younger sibling. Being more discerning than Bruce 'child collector' Wayne, Damian's firm criteria for Batman's latest adoption problem includes but is not limited to: black haired, blue-eyed, tolerable humor, not evil, and most importantly - younger than Damian.
Lucky for him, fourteen year old newbie vigilante Danny Fenton is the perfect fit. Now, to fulfill his end of their deal, Damian must defeat the evil government organization hunting Danny in order to gain a baby brother.
Or, @livinghalfway your post made my brain go !! but in such a different way I figured it was better to make a separate post, hope you don't mind/enjoy still
~~
Damian Wayne re-entered Tim Drake's life like a gnat revealing itself in a closed bedroom space. Tim was in t-shirt and a boxers, maneuvering ramen into his mouth with one hand and scribbling out an epiphany on a murder case with another, when Damian's demonic dulcet voice echoed down from the ceiling. "Drake," said Damian, judgemental, "You live like this?"
Tim nearly choked on his ramen, because the day Damian doesn't attempt to murder him - however doubtfully accidental this incident might be - is the day Darkseid decides to be friends with the Justice League. "Fucking knock," Tim coughed out. "And get out. No one invited you in."
"Put better traps if you don't want me here," said Damian, dropping from the ceiling where he'd crawled in on wall-clamps.
"This is my apartment," said Tim. "It's called courtesy."
Damian sniffed. He padded around to Tim's desk and frowns at his cases, then said, with no further lead up, "I need your assistance."
"No," said Tim.
"You did not even listen to my request."
"Don't need to," said Tim. "Answer's still no. Door is that way. Bye."
"Father says mutually assisting each other is beneficial," said Damian.
"Father," said Tim sarcastically, "blamed me for you exploding a glitter bomb in the batcave two weeks ago."
"That is your fault for not being able to provide evidence to the contrary in an appropriately efficient manner," said Damian. He squinted down at Tim. "And he apologized. Eventually."
"I would not have glittered the batcomputer," said Tim. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to backup those servers? No, because you don't like tech work, you just profit off it."
"Blaming me for Father's mistake," said Damian, "Most mature of you. But we must put our differences aside. I have selected a new family member and I need you to dismantle a government organization."
That drew Tim up short. He blinked down at his ramen as though it might explain Damian's words to him, but the ramen remained disappointingly uninformative. "Repeat that," said Tim, gesturing with his chopsticks. "Slower, and with more detail."
Damian pulled out his phone and sent him an email. Silence surrounded them in the brief moment it took Tim to set aside his chopsticks and open the email. The subject line was titled 'New Baby Brother', which birthed all sorts of horrifying nightmares of Damian Part 2: Demon Child Boogaloo. The teen in the inserted picture, however, was reassuringly not in possession of Damian's bone structure.
He did have black hair and blue eyes. "Who am I looking at?" asked Tim.
"Daniel Fenton," said Damian. "He is fourteen years old, enjoys puns, and has recently awakened 'ghost powers' that allow him to transform into the vigilante Phantom to fight other ghosts."
"Is he also an orphan with a tragic backstory?"
"No," said Damian, and Tim relaxed. "But that will not be an issue. We can share custody if they cannot be removed from the picture."
"Jesus H, kid."
"I am joking, of course," said Damian blandly. "Murder is wrong."
"Ha ha," said Tim. "If he has parents already he's not joining our menagerie."
"He will," said Damian, with a smug upwards tilt of his lips. "He and I have a deal."
"So you're coercing him in addition to stalking him. Anything else you want to share with the class?"
Damian considered this query with a serious frown, which was how Tim knew this was not a flight of fancy or a very early midlife crisis (although with their lifestyle and Damian already having died before...).
"He has," said Damian after a moment, "a rogue that calls himself 'The Master of all Technology' and is a technopath." This was clearly meant to be of interest to Tim, and not to be a stereotype, but it kind of was.
"Great." Tim turned his attention back to the email the demon child sent him. He scanned through it quickly. There was apparently a secret and evil government organization dedicated to the investigation and extermination of 'ghosts' and other paranormal creatures in the world. Their latest efforts were focused on the town of Amity Park, Illinois, which was 'infested with ectoplasmic pests'. Their words, not Damian's. (It was specified in the email.)
"Okay," Tim drummed his fingers against his desk. "Before I help you defeat this secret evil government organization so that," he opened the email attachment with a contract on it and squinted at the legalese, "this poor newbie teen you've harassed into signing this joins the family in exchange."
"I did not harass him," Damian huffed. "It was a gentleman's agreement."
"Does he know that?"
"I am not a politician, Drake. I thoroughly explained the terms and legalities before presenting any contract. Now ask your question."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because," said Damian, tone implying 'you are stupid and haven't noticed something obvious, idiot'. "Father has begun saying he misses the noise around the manor and looking wistfully at old pictures."
"We still live there though?" said Tim. Damian looked flatly at him. "Sometimes."
"If you lived there frequently enough," said Damian, "you would already know Father is having...empty nest syndrome." Damian sounded disgusted. "I refuse to tolerate whatever inadequate and incompetent child he will find."
"So instead you found an incompetent and inadequate child for him?"
"Don't be stupid, Drake," said Damian. "I would not have chosen someone inadequate. Daniel is merely lacking formal training. Father can rectify this. It will keep him occupied for at least the next two to four years, which gives me enough time to find another black-haired, blue-eyed, tolerable child I approve of to be his successor and my second younger sibling." Damian paused. "Or until one of you procreates and gives him a grandchild."
"You're really serious about this," Tim whispered in horrified awe.
"I am serious about everything I do," said Damian. "Now, you will help me defeat this evil government organization so that our new sibling joins us."
"Okay," said Tim, but his mind snagged on a minor, throwaway detail, so utterly in odds with Damian 'Demonic Jealous Child' Al Ghul it surely came from another person - "Did you just call this kid your successor?"
#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom#batman#no danny in this yet...#just damian and tim bc they amuse me#my writing#title is a reference to scott pilgrim vs the world bc like. damian isn't fighting 7 evil exes but he is fighting an evil govt. org#i shall add more hopefully... this idea amuses me a lot...#and then post it to ao3 once it is longer...#probably...#anyway the damian and danny conversation went loosely as follows:#Damian: vigilante ghost child. I have decided you are worthy of being my newest brother.#Danny: ... I'm flattered I guess? But I already have a family.#Damian: *begins outlining all the dumb stuff in Danny's life that would be improved by joining the batfam*#Damian: *realizes his strategy isn't working*#Damian:... i will dismantle the government org hunting you in exchange for your cooperation and joining my family#Danny: ?? whatever sure if you get rid of them I'll call you big bro#Damian: we shall get along well
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