#I have never did a color palette before but honestly it was fun figuring it out

[mywaywardcupcake]

3G Kermit Jou? >:3

Last one! Alien boy vibes happening. Thank you for sending this in!

[onceuponalegendbg-rwby]

RWBY Retrospective - Volume 1

So, Volume 1 had a lot to prove when it was airing, and in the end, it serves as an interesting time capsule for the series overall. No longer were they dealing with trailers that could be as vague as they wanted with amazing action set pieces and incredible music. Now CRWBY had to get the audience invested in its world and characters. It’s a tough job for any first season of any show.

A word that comes to mind when looking back on this volume is, if you’ll forgive the cliché, Innocence. The central conflicts contain themselves on a smaller scale, lulling the audience into its high school/college age hijinks. There’s not a high sense of danger when dealing with the likes of Roman Torchwick or Cardin Winchester. The argument can be made that the Emerald Forest initiation has the big Nevermore/Deathstalker fight midway through the season but that falls more into the category of flashy spectacle. You’re more likely to get wrapped up in the hype of the moment than worry about the safety of any of the characters.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, however. It’s not uncommon for shows to allow for this type of comfort so that the audience has more time to get attached to and acquainted with the characters and have some fun with them before everything hits the fan.

The biggest problem for Volume 1 lies with the constraints RWBY had to deal with as it was starting out. The budget for the series was not much. The production and animation team at the company were also significantly small.

RWBY’s first outing as an actual show, because of this, consists of mostly four-to-five-minute two parter episodes with the occasional twelve-to-fifteen-minute episode sprinkled in at specific points. And it’s due to this that the pacing of the season suffers a bit. Things like how some arcs, that would normally be wrapped up in one or two weeks, get stretched out to four. But the opposite is also true. Some plot points that might have needed more time to breathe don’t get that and can end up feeling incredibly rushed, leaving some moments of character development feeling unearned. It’s this balancing act that the show hadn’t quite figured out at the time, and also did not have the tools to handle.

The characters, while still hinting at their deeper personalities, never truly leave their stereotypical molds this volume. Honestly, some of the main cast don’t get much screen time to begin with. However, I can’t say they don’t all play their roles well, allowing the audience to get more acclimated to the world and tone the series starts out with. Much like the voice acting they are serviceable for the passion project this all started out as and have plenty of room for growth and improvement.  

I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least touch on the art style of the show. RWBY starts out being animated in Poser and due to limitations of the software and not many people being trained in how to use it, any NPC is made into a Shadow Person. The characters themselves are very stiff in their movements and there’s not much for lip flap animation. Objects clip through other objects or people. The color saturation is blinding at points, especially on characters like Weiss who mostly consist of a white color palette. Backgrounds are, for the most part, very flat looking.

Despite these critiques, or maybe because of them, it was clear that Volume 1 had people behind it who undoubtedly loved what they were making. It felt ambitious and passionate.

Of course, Monty’s action was never disappointing, and the Williams Family’s music was a definite highlight. There were also moments where the voice acting could bring out a genuine, heartfelt emotion. The season had such charm and warmth to it. Looking back, it’s not hard to feel endeared to the show’s humble beginnings.

Some General and Unfiltered Thoughts

I’m not entirely proud of how this one came out. I still feel like I was far too mean to V1.

I had a hard time trying to be objective in this one. I have such a soft spot for the early volumes of RWBY but it’s hard not to at least acknowledge some of its less than great aspects for this project.

The animation is rough due to Poser but the action is, if I can beat a dead horse here, absolutely stunning. Not all the dialogue has aged well, but then you have the moment with Jaune where he talks about being an idiot stuck in a tree and Miles’ voice acting made me cry. Jeff and his team never miss. The animators even use the Shadow People for some fun little jokes. Like Jaune saying “where am I going to find another nice, quirky girl to talk to” and when he steps away you just see Pyrrha standing there… clearly an important character amongst the Shadows. Clearly nice and quirky. It’s just… Stuff like that is so fun. Volume 1 is so fun!

It’s rough at points and it has obvious flaws, but I don’t mind re-watching it. It’s so charming! Volume 1 is fine, we’re all just mean!

[minijeong]

january before and afters!

(a bit early, but I have a feeling I won’t be able to spend much time giffing for the next three weeks :/)

there was definitely a lot of experimenting this month (esp stages!) as I tried to overhaul and reformulate my giffing habits. I’ve always been a solid color layer fiend, so I did some investigating into other ways to add my own touch. it was a month of gradient maps and luts, and using brightness, contrast, and color balance in ways I hadn’t before. (also panning. panning for the first time. my god)

first row... the dct stages... phew... LOL those happened at like 5am and I remember being so frustrated because I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t like them at all. I redid both of them 2-3 times... like deleting after posting because I couldn’t stand looking at it :c the middle gif was just giffing therapy using my normal giffing habits and i realized that i really liked winter in yellow hehe

second row was when I started using my brain a bit more. things like, what vibe do I want? how do I make the colors fit closer to one palette? I used to worry a lot about skin tone but my dumbass realized that it’s natural for skin to look different under different lighting haha... anyway... honestly the only reason why I used my brain was because a) first one was my religion beret winter and b) for the second one, winter kept talking about how her outfit was purple even though there are maybe 2 pixels of purple, so I wanted to bring that out lmao

I also played around with clean, sharp, and denoise settings and combinations of them between different applications at this point to kind of figure out how that contributed to vibes and that was mega frustrating but (hopefully) somewhat rewarding.

4th row blankie winter definitely my fav this month... for the first time I actually felt like I was coloring something, you know? and it really turned out exactly how I wanted it... this was also the point where I started coloring my blacks instead of blindly crushing them or relying on hue/sat to magically do things for me LOL. long hair dream con winter... I feel like I’m finally enjoying how my stage gifs look after years of giffing... definitely things I can improve but I’m having fun giffing stages now rather than doing it out of obligation!

final row is just me pulling my winrina agenda out of the mud

next month... I definitely want to keep practicing giffing more stages... but I also want to try playing a bit more with formatting and layouts, making different sources look like a cohesive set. I’ve been thinking long and hard about my winter fancam series and how to organize it, but I’ve never excelled much in visual arts... so we’ll see

if you read this all... wow thanks ♡ ♡ ♡   

this is all part of my post-whatever-i-want-on-my-blog and who-cares-about-what-others-think mindset encouragement 

also because, listen to music, do a little thinking, you know, reflect

ok byee

[tteokggukk]

welcome to my youtube channel → kth

✳ pairing: idol!taehyung x youtuber!reader

✳ genre: fluff, taehyung scenario, stranger to lovers, reader is an artist who posts art videos on youtube

✳ warnings: none!

✳ words: 2.9k

✳ a/n: hello, this is my second bts oneshot/scenario. i just like to write for fun but if you’d like to let me know if there’s anything i can improve on please do so! i’d love to know how to improve. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

You spoke in front of the camera. Sets of acrylic paint were spread out across the table next to a stand that held an 18x24 inch canvas. You were in the middle of making your seventeenth video, a highly requested one at that, and deep down you were ecstatic to start working on the painting.

Never in your life did you think you would ever start a YouTube account. You always considered yourself a very shy and private person, not one to go out of their way and broadcast themselves all over the internet. Your best friends, however, were two very well-known YouTubers and always found a way to include you in their videos and live streams. Somehow people liked seeing more of you, and so you were convinced by your best friends and the audience to start your own YouTube channel.

But you weren't very accustomed to bringing a camera everywhere with you to document and share whatever was happening in your daily life, you found it too awkward and you were still camera-shy, so you decided to create content in a way that would still keep you comfortable while doing something you loved.

An art channel.

Your channel blew up pretty fast. Requests started pouring in here and there. You became known for your very calm demeanor and artistic skills, so you took this as an opportunity to sell your works online as a way to earn some extra money for your future. Occasionally, you'd do lives to talk to your fans and you were happy at the support they showed you, which only encouraged you to keep making videos.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started," you told the camera, mentally telling yourself to insert the comments and messages you got in your DMs to paint this Adonis-like human being. The requests started coming in after you had an Instagram live where you did some quick sketches while playing some of your favorite songs in the back, and people noticed one of the songs you played was by him.

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand"," you spoke, adding air quotes, "I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

You started mixing different colors in your palette and showed everyone the picture for your reference.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

"Hey guys, welcome to my YouTube Channel."

Taehyung watched as you spoke in the video, looking behind you to see a bunch of art materials. The title of the video was left ambiguously, only being named most requested video, leaving him no clue on what it was you were going to create this time.

He's been watching your videos for quite some time now, ever since your channel started rising. Art was one of his major interests and he absolutely adored the way you made your videos with the calming, ASMR-like sound of mixing paint and how you skillfully glided the brush across the canvas. On days when he found himself tired and in need of a quick way to relax, he'd subconsciously find himself binge watching videos on your channel— even repeating several videos since you were only starting. He found it fascinating, but also because he found you interesting.

Because of your channel, he even created an anonymous YouTube account just to leave nice comments on your videos along with a private Instagram account to be able to watch your lives.

Needless to say, he didn't miss that one live where you played the song Winter Bear. It made his whole night, making him sleep with a smile on his face.

"This was a highly requested video, and I honestly can't wait to get started." 

He watched as a bunch of comments started appearing onscreen popping up one by one as they gradually got faster, eventually covering you. It took a moment before it sunk in that he was the highly requested person they wanted you to paint. He paused the video, wide-eyed, before shouting in excitement. Jimin had to come in and check what the whole commotion was about.

"Y/n's going to paint me!" Taehyung exclaimed, his mouth turning into his famous boxy smile. 

"Ah, the YouTuber you really like?" Jimin smiles before sitting down next to Taehyung who continued playing the video, "I wanna see."

"You guys also asked if I could sell this painting, but because of the "high demand", I'd like to keep it up for auction so the proceeds could go to different fundraisers."

"Wow, she seems really kind," Jimin says, while Taehyung only nods, his eyes glued to the screen.

"So, without further ado, today I will be painting Kim Taehyung."

He felt his heart beat fast when you mentioned his name, and without realizing it his ears have gone all red. 

On screen, you began sketching, "You guys have also been sending me a lot of questions lately, which is why I decided to tweet about doing a q&a."

"What questions did you ask?" Jimin asked Taehyung.

"I asked her if being an artist is something she'd like to pursue," Taehyung told him.

"Ooooh, trying to get to know her," Jimin teases, "Our little Taehyungie has a celebrity crush."

Taehyung rolls his eyes but breaks out into a grin anyway, "I just respect her artistry."

"Right, okay," Jimin snickers, obviously not buying it.

Taehyung knew he was telling the truth, though. It was impossible to have feelings for someone who you only knew through a screen. He found you attractive for sure, but he of all people would know that almost no one is completely one-hundred percent themselves on screen. Genuine as you may be, there are still things that are best kept to yourself. He couldn’t lie though, if given the chance to get to know you, he’d never pass up on that offer.

"Someone asked why I don't use that much ready-made paint," You spoke on screen, "It's ‘cause I learn a lot from mixing my own colors, and also I just really enjoy it."

The painting was beginning to come together halfway through the video and Taehyung's question finally made its way to you. "Kimyeontan95 asks, ‘is painting a career you want to pursue? I love your work, by the way’."

"That was basically I love you," Jimin holds back a laugh, earning him a light punch in the arm from Taehyung.

"Thank you so much, kimyeontan95, and no, painting is just a hobby of mine and a way to earn some future savings. I actually really want to be a novelist."

Taehyung smiled after hearing you answer his question. Later on, the video was over and his portrait was complete. He hurriedly redirected himself to the link that was provided for the auction.

Something in him wanted to have that painting no matter what, so he set himself as the highest bidder and eventually had it mailed to his home where he put your work up in his room to cherish.

A day after your video was posted, you woke up to a thousand notifications from your phone. Hundreds of people were mentioning you in tweets and you had numerous missed calls from your best friends and some texts telling you to check your online art shop. You groggily scroll through your feed, a bit confused as to what was happening.

I wanted to buy this painting and I had it in my list, but now it's unavailable!

Y'ALL WHAT RICH KID SET THE HIGHEST BID TO A MILLION DOLLARS IM CRYING

@yourtwittername are you planning to sell a new collection?

a million dollar bid wtf swownwowksodiowl

Someone just bought all of @yourtwitterusername's paintings. I'm crying in broke eye—

but like what if taehyung set that bid? @yourtwitterusername

What?

I just woke up and my mentions are pouring. What is going on? You tweeted.

Thousands of replies began coming in leaving you feeling overwhelmed and confused on where to start. Everyone was telling you to check your site, and so you did. You felt your heart almost stop beating when you saw that every single artwork you had up for sale were sold out. Nothing was left behind. You checked your emails, and the confirmations were there.

How could this have happened overnight?

ALL MY WORKS ARE SOLD OUT?!?!?!?? WHO COULDVE DONET THIS??? You tweeted, hands shaking.

You felt your heart race, a wide grin that could go even wider if possible was plastered on your face. You tried to stop yourself from screaming in excitement but couldn't so you ended up jumping up and down and doing happy dances before calming down to assess the situation. Finally, you sat down in front of your laptop to see where all your works were being shipped to.

Replies started coming in.

CONGRATS YOU FIGURED IT OUT

WILL U RESTOCK

AHSKWJOA CONGRATS BB

I'M SO HAPPY FOR U

BUT Y/N WHO BOUGHT THEM ALL

Checking your emails, you discover that your art works were all bought by one person. Anonymous. There was no name and someone requested to have their personal information redacted. 

Anonymous? Surely this wasn't a joke?

The person kept their name anonymous. You tweeted and muted the notifications just to allow yourself to focus on finding out who it was that bought everything.

At the bottom of all the removed personal information, there was one username that you were sure you've heard or seen somewhere.

@ Kimyeontan95. 

Underneath the username was a short but sincere message.

"Your videos have always helped me wind down after a long, busy day. I can't express how much you inspire me with your talent and how I wish someday you'd teach me to be half as good as you, as I'm not very gifted in the painting department. I admire how you put your gifts into good things, and I very much idolize you in one way or another. This is just a small way of showing my support for you, but also because all your works are amazing and I'd love to have a small room filled with my favorite art works. I look forward to reading works of yours soon, future novelist.”

Feeling the heat creeping up on your cheeks, you smiled to yourself. The letter was definitely heartfelt and you wanted so badly to thank the person who sent it.

Later that afternoon, you decided to go on live to personally thank the anonymous buyer for buying your works and for sending that wonderful note. You fixed yourself up a little bit and pressed live as thousands of your followers began to tune in.

"Hello, everyone," you greeted, smiling. Replies with greetings started coming in and you couldn't help but chuckle at the eager messages your followers were sending. They truly made you happy.

As expected, several questions began pouring in.

"Right, so, I wanted to do this live because of what happened. As you may have noticed, all my works were suddenly sold out which definitely took me by surprise," you started, "Unfortunately the buyer left everything anonymous. They only left what I assume is a username and a short letter, which I will keep to myself for personal reasons."

@follower1WHAT

@follower2 will you keep selling your works?

@follower3 THATS SUCH A SWEET GESTURE THO OMG/

@follower4 am I the only one who thinks a secret admirer bought it

@follower5 check my YouTube channel I made a theory on who bought her works

@follower6 i rlly think it's taehyung

@follower7 I’'m so proud of you :(((

"If the person who bought all of my paintings is watching this, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate the letter as well, you've honestly made me the happiest person on Earth," you smiled.

@follower8 AWWWWW

@follower9 ANON COME OUT

@follower10 i really wanna know what the letter says

@ Kimyeontan95 I'm glad :)

Your heart stopped at one of the replies. You took your phone immediately from its fixed position with wide eyes and began scrolling up fast because of the immediate replies coming in. Wasn't that the username?

@follower11 what's going on?

@follower12 y/n are you okay?

You could no longer find the reply so you set your phone down, fixing it back in place.

"For a second I thought the person who bought it was watching my live," you sighed and smiled nervously, "So anyways— I'd really love to express my gratitude so if they're watching, please contact me. I can't say thank you en—"

Suddenly the replies were frantic. People were sending keyboard smashes here and there. Only a few of them were actual coherent comments. "What is going on?" You asked as you began scrolling through.

@follower13 Y/N CHECK VLIVE

@follower14 TaEHYUNF IS ON LIVE

@follower15 I kNEW IT THOUGH???

@follower16 Y/N CHECK TAEHYUNGS LIVE

@follower5 Y'ALL I WAS RIGHT I SAID CHECK MY YT

Keeping your live on, you grabbed your laptop as fast as you could to check out the links being sent to your live. When it finally loaded, you could've sworn you'd have a heart attack. 

"Oh, I think she's watching me," Taehyung grinned through his live, holding his phone in front of the camera. He quickly shows the viewers his phone screen, which showed your live of you watching him through your laptop. Your eyes widened and you looked back at your phone camera that was broadcasting your live, then back at his live.

Taehyung started giggling, "I guess we're just watching each other, huh?" He smiled. Behind him were packed and unpacked parcels of paintings you recognized were yours. If it was even possible, your eyes grew even wider at this, "Oh my god," you breathed out.

"I should probably introduce myself," Taehyung spoke, "Hello everyone, I'm Kim Taehyung. How are you all doing? Today I’m planning on redecorating my room after our practice. What are the packages behind me? Oh, these are paintings I recently bought."

"Are those my paintings?" You asked out loud, though you knew the answer. 

"Are those my paintings?" Your voice echoed from Taehyung's broadcast as your live was streaming from his phone. He grinned sheepishly, "Yes, these are your works, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," You smiled, "You were the buyer?" 

You mentally slapped yourself for asking such obvious questions, but you just couldn't believe everything that was happening now.

"Yes," he chuckles, "I really love your paintings." Suddenly the sound of Jimin’s voice echoed from behind and Taehyung quickly stood up to lock the door, knowing he’d get the teasing of a lifetime if Jimin came and saw him talking to you.

"Thank you so much, I—" Your voice began to crack and your eyes welled with tears that you tried to fight back, "I really appreciate it. And the letter, that was really sweet."

"No, thank you. Wait, don't cry—" Taehyung spoke nervously.

"I'm just so happy," You laughed while wiping the tears off.

The replies from both ends were coming in like crazy. On one hand, majority of everyone watching found the whole scenario cute and started pairing you two out of nowhere, though there were a few haters on the other. It didn't really bother you, you were just so happy someone you idolized noticed your work.

"I'm glad," he was watching you with a fond smile through his phone, then the sound of the Jin’s voice began coming from outside Taehyung’s room, "Sorry for this sudden grand reveal. I really can't stay on live for too long but I'd love to keep talking to you." He spoke.

"Oh no, that's okay," You spoke fast.

"Do you mind if I send you a message? Assuming you already know the username," he asks.

"No not at all, I'd love to keep talking as well," your heart was beating erratically now. You didn't have to see your face to know how red it was becoming.

"Alright, great. Um, before I end this vlive I just wanna say you're a great artist and to all my viewers watching this, please support y/n's artworks and her channel! If I see any negative comments, I'll be taking responsibility and I'll unfortunately have my agency involved in taking those out," he spoke in a commercial tone kind of voice, "And to y/n, I'll be keeping in touch.” The door from behind him suddenly bursts open and Jin, Jimin, and Jungkook rush inside.

“You were talking to her!” Jimin shouts excitedly.

“Finally!” Jungkook claps.

“Is that why you kept the door locked?” Jin teases.

“Bye, everyone!" Taehyung quickly waves goodbye to the camera and smiles before turning the broadcast off. 

You sat there stunned, almost forgetting you were also on live. You turned to your phone which was still recording you, "That was unexpected."

Suddenly, a notification in your DMs popped up. "I'll go ahead and process everything that just happened now, bye guys! See you in my next video." You ended the live with a wave and smile.

You quickly went into your direct messages and found the same username, Kimyeontan95. You opened it and found a picture of Taehyung holding one of your paintings with a peace sign on his other hand, the other members behind him posing with your other works, making you laugh.

Your heart fluttered at the message below the picture.

I hope this isn't too sudden, but would you like to go out with me sometime?

a/n: hello! if you finished it, thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it hehe. i think i’m gonna keep posting the stuff i write bc i have so many ideas for the other members as well. also this is fun hehe. if you wanna read my other work, let’s fall in love for the night, ← here’s a link! thanks again for reading and please look forward to my future writing/edits.

[rightsockjin]

BTS Reaction: Baby mama love

warnings: Pregnancy kink, kissing, touching, baby bump kink(?), honestly all of bts would love the frick out of their baby mama’s, lost of love, fluff, nipple play, breast play, cursing, mentions of insecurity. Please let me know if there is something I missed. 

a/n: OMG... I was so excited about this ask as of now I’m the only one writing reactions and I hope you enjoy this anon and of course anyone who is interested in this topic hehe... this was very fun to write but it took me too long to do it because of school but its done none the less.

Jin

You woke to Jin’s strong arms rubbing up and down your swollen stomach. You were towards the end of your second trimester and your baby bump had become very prominent. Your entire body ached, and you were an emotional wreck, but your husband, your wonderful, loving husband made sure to always put you at ease.

 “Baby, wake up.” he placed a line of soft kisses down your spine. You hummed at his actions and attempted to move to face him.

“No, baby it’s okay.” He kissed the top of your head.

“Let’s stay like this for a bit.” His hands began to slide up and down your hips. You stay still and let yourself be appreciated by your husband. He moved closer to you so that his body was flush to yours. Jin loved to make it known how grateful he was for your generous contribution of ‘mother to our child’ as he likes to say not that you really had a choice since he wouldn’t be able to carry our baby.

“Jinnie, I wanna see your handsome face, help me turn over please.” You latch onto the hand which again rested on your pregnant belly. Jin grabbed onto your shoulders and unceremoniously flipped you over onto your other side. As soon as your eyes met his lips clashed with yours. 

“My anea is so beautiful.” He moved a loose strand of hair from your face and placed it behind your ear. He reached for the blanket covers and pulled it off of the bed. You whined his name as the cold air hit your warm body. He gestured for you to sit up against the headboard. You settled against it and waited to see what Jin wanted.

He sat next to me and just let his eyes run up and down your body. His hand settled on your tummy and his face came down next to his arms.

“Hi baby Haesol, it’s your appa…I just wanted to say thank you.” He placed a small peck on your belly right above your navel.  

“Your eomma looks absolutely beautiful right now and I cannot get enough of her gorgeous body.” he cupped his hand around his mouth as if he was whispering a secret to your little boy.

“Honestly… sometimes I just look at her and I just don’t think I can control myself. I just wanna eat her up. Like right now, she looks stunning. I have to go baby boy, I need to take care of your beautiful mama.”

“Oh, my gosh, Jin, don't tell him that!” you said as you gently smacked his shoulder. 

“What? This way he’ll hear me better!”

Yoongi

You reach for your favorite pair of jeans excited to get ready for the day. You gather up some accessories and a variety of tops to complete your look. It had been around three months since you found out you were pregnant and today you would have the first ultrasound. You had been doing some research and found out that today you might know the approximate birthday of your baby. Yoongi had decided to ask for a half day to accompany you to your appointment and he had messaged you saying that he was almost done with his work for the day. Yoongi being the loving husband he was, said he would pick up food on his way home to enjoy before you leave to the OBGYN clinic.

You took your belongings and set them on the bed and took a second to look at your reflection in the full-length mirror in your shared room. You lifted the large t-shirt you had worn to sleep and placed your delicate hand on your growing tummy. You looked at the way your body had begun to change. Your legs had swollen a little not used to the extra amount of weight you had put on. You look further up your body and you take notice of your hips. They had begun to widen, not a substantial amount but enough to be noticeable at least to you. Your eyes traveled further up and landed on your swollen tummy. You delicately placed your small hand on the swell of your stomach. You smiled happily at the thought of your future.

“You look beautiful,” Yoongi said from the doorway of your room. He walked slowly behind you and placed his hands on top of yours. He lowered his head to fit in the crook of my neck, he placed a few sparse kisses on the little skin that was exposed. He hummed into your ear. “and our baby is going to keep growing in here.” His hands rubbed up and down your exposed tummy.

 His soft hands left goosebumps in their wake. Yoongi had expressed to you how excited he was to see my body grow to accommodate your child and he made sure to never let you feel insecure in your developing body. So to accommodate for your growing insecurities he only ever presented you with love and adoration anytime you had the chance to be together.

“I’m excited for our appointment today,” you said as you nuzzled yourself into his warm body.

“Me too, but you look so good now baby,” his hands slid up under your oversized sized shirt and cupped your tender chest. “and you. Are just. Going. To keep. Getting. Sexier. And sexier.” His words were emphasized but his plush lips which pressed softly into the skin of your neck. His hands played tenderly with your soft skin.

“I won’t be able to keep my hands off of you jagiya.”

 Hoseok

“Baby mama what are you doin’?” Hobi walked into your shared room, excited to see what you had been up to while he was at work. You look back at him with a glowing smile.

“I want to see which of my clothes still fit me. As far as jeans, as of now… I have one pair that fits me.” You turn towards your husband, giddy with excitement now that he was home. You reach for the button of the jeans you had on and pull at it to hopefully shut it but to no avail.  Hoseok walked towards you and placed his hands on your hips and looked straight into your eyes. He moved his hands to the small of your back and slithered his hands into the back pockets. He rests his forehead against yours as you wrapped your arms around his waist. He begins to lead your body to the beat of the song playing in his head and together you sway in the silence of your house.

“I can’t wait to see you grow more pregnant, Sunshine. Though I won’t lie,” his hand moves down to where your butt meets your thighs and gives it a firm squeeze, followed by a soft pat. “I’m really going to miss your ass in these jeans.” He grabbed your hand and raised it above your head, procedeeding to spin you slowly. His free hand stops you when you're facing away from him. He pulls you so the swell of your behind is pressed up against his slim figure. Once again, he guides your body to the beat of the song that wasn’t playing. His slender hands roam over your developing curves. They move around you as if he’d never felt your body. Two years of dating and three years of marriage had made the two of you experts when it came to each other’s bodies. Though right now Hoseok seemed to be hesitant to let himself enjoy you like he did in the past.

“God, you're so perfect, Sunshine.” You led him to the bed that was in the middle of your room and sat him at the foot of it. He spread his legs on the edge of the bed which gave you the opportunity to slot yourself between his muscular thighs. He smiled up at you and let his hands settle on your small baby bump under the shirt you were wearing. He leaned forwards to press a couple of quaint kisses to the apex of your tummy.

“Thank you so much, beautiful.” His face nuzzled into your stomach and hummed into your warm skin.

Namjoon

You’d been lounging around your house all day watching Netflix and doing other random ‘busy work’ Namjoon asked you to do. Since you had gone onto maternity leave you had a lot of time on your hands, so your wonderful husband always came home with projects and things for you to keep busy around the house. Recently you had begun to decorate the nursery and the two of you had decided on the theme of the room. So you began to paint the walls to look like a forest, alongside some cute woodland creatures that are scattered across the room.

“Y/n baby, I’m home!” You heard the door open and your husband’s shoes hit the floor as he threw them on the ground after removing them. Ever since you had become pregnant, Namjoon was excited to get home and just spend time with you. Now that you were in the first week of your third trimester your husband had become extra protective of you. He made sure you were eating good foods, getting in the necessary amount of sleep and making sure to help you destress if you ever did manage to get wound up.

“Hey, hon I’m painting in the nursery.” The clap of Namjoon’s house slippers echoed through the house as he approached the room you were in.

“How’s it coming along?” He slid his arms under the straps of your overalls and massaged your straining shoulders. You rested your head on his large hand and enjoyed his impromptu massage.

“Pretty good I think, I just need to try to match this brown and a few other colors, but I have a pretty good idea of what I want it to look like.” You point with your palette knife in the direction of the deer you had been working on for the past few days. You and Namjoon stood looking at the doe. It seemed like time stopped as you both looked at the solitary animal.

“You and the doe have the same eyes.” He placed a small kiss on your collar bone and smiled into your skin. “Also, I like what you're wearing today.”

He grabbed the straps of your tank top and snapped them on your shoulder. You scoffed at his small transgression and patted his thigh behind you. A moan slipped out of Namjoon’s plush lips and a smug smile crept its way on your glowing face.

“Oh, now I know why you were excited to get home?” You shift back into his hold while his hands slither down to your inner thighs.

“Baby, I mean come on,” he whined “just look at you.” He kissed the nape of your neck “You look so beautiful pregnant, Mama. From the ways your eyes glitter, to the way your lips got plumper, even your hair shines more.”

“yeah okay kiss up old man. You’re still short and i’m still fat”

He ignored your sassy comment instead he takes in a deep breath and cups your breasts in his big hands. “Your chest too, and your wider hips. Hmm? Not to mention your belly, God you’re so damn gorgeous.” 

“I love you Joon.”

“I love you too Bambi.”

 Jimin

“Jagiya~ I have something for you.” Jimin sang into the quiet house. He walked for a little while anxious to see you.

“Y/n? Where are you, Angel??” He yelled out again into your shared apartment.

“I’m running a bath, Minnie. Join me?'' The water coming out of the faucet made the bubbles in the bath water swirl around in the tub. It had been a while since you got to spend some time with your husband so you thought to spoil your man. Things had been a little hectic. The boys were working on some music for the comeback and with you being  close to the third trimester of your pregnancy, it didn’t help to reduce the stress Jimin was subjected to. So any chance you got you tried to make things easier for you husband since he had been extra loving and patient through your pregnancy. You heard a soft knock at the door and giggled.Even though you had been together for over five years, he still made you feel butterflies and giddy excitement when you got to spend time together.

“Come in, the bath is almost ready.” Jimin walks in hesitantly as if he was afraid of what was beyond the closed bathroom. You had set up a string of purple LED lights to give the room its ambient. Music also began to play softly. His hands are hidden behind his back and a goofy smile is plastered on his face as you approach him.

“I had a surprise for you, but I feel like you’ve got me beat.” He sets whatever he had in his hands on the countertop. He grabs onto your biceps and rubs them tenderly. “You are too good to me,” he affirmed as he rubbed his nose against yours. Your hands find the purchase of his waist and wrap tightly around it.

“Wait baby, what did you bring?” You rub small circles on the base of his spine. He shrugs out of your hold and grabs the small box from behind him and hands it to you. You pull at the pale pink ribbon and tear the wrapping paper.

“Jimin, you didn’t?” Inside the box was a small pale pink and blue Hanbok. Woven within the fabric of the skirt were threads of gold which shimmered when you moved the fabric around. Tears welled up in your eyes.

“I thought we could use this for when she turns one… you know for the Doljanchi ceremony.” Without hesitation you kiss his soft lips. You part your lips to allow your husband to explore your mouth with his tongue. You smile into the kiss.

“Let's get in the bath, yeah?” You nod and undress quickly. Jimin grabs your hand and leads you over and into the warm water. You sit down slowly with the guidance of your husband and he follows in to sit in front of you. He pats his legs and you hesitantly straddle his lap. You see a glimmer of lust in his eyes as they scan down your pregnant body. He cups your swollen breasts and rubs softly on your tender nipples. His head drifts down to nestle in bust.

“Fucking perfect.” He breathed out.

 Taehyung

“Let me see you in the purple one?” He asked, though  it sounded more like a command. You turn swiftly and grab the next pair of lingerie from the box Tae had brought home for you. The velvet fabric felt luxurious as you brought the bralette up against your chest. You had started to grow uncomfortable with your body since your baby bump started showing, and now that you had begun to produce milk your chest had become a problem area for you. Not that you didn’t like how you looked. You just weren’t used to having these new dimensions. You expressed this negativity to your husband, but he was having none of it and promised to make sure to always let you know how beautiful you looked  even when you felt the opposite. That night the two of you stayed up just talking about your struggle and how these changes were affecting your mental health. So, you decided to really have patience with yourself and with the help of Taehyung you would find comfort in your body once again.

It had been a while since you had had that conversation with your husband and through your pregnancy you learned to thrive in your pre-partum body and found that you actually were enjoying your new figure. You felt confident. Even though the pregnancy had been difficult, you found a great amount of self-worth. Tae had noticed your shift in attitude and decided to help you grow even more comfortable in some more intimate situations.

You looked into the full-length mirror in your room and cautiously put on the lingerie that you had brought into the room. It fit you really well with the exception of your chest, you had grown a little and Tae hadn’t taken that into account. You fluff your hair and inspect your makeup before heading back to the living room where Tae was waiting for you. The patter of your feet is heard as you waddled towards your partner.

Tae sat comfortably on the couch, his legs were spread open and his hands grabbed at the back of his neck. His eyes seemed to be closed but his brow were furrowed. The light in the room made his honey skin glimmer. You noticed that he had undone one of the buttons on his white button up which exposed more of his soft golden skin.

“Tae, look please.” You said quietly as to not break the ambient of the room. His eyes open slowly as his head lifts off the back rest of the couch. He looks at you and lifts one hand up to cover his mouth.

“Fuck, you look good. Turn for me, sweetness. I bet the back looks just as good.” You nod at his request and turn slowly to face away from him. He hisses loudly at your appearance.

“Come here, sweetheart. I wanna see it up close.” His word had become slurred from what you assumed to be lust. You waddle as sexily as you could towards your husband. He chuckles softly at your attempt and grabs on to your rotund hips. His lips meet the apex of your baby bump where he places a hand up to your tender chest. His hand slides in between the fabric of your panties and your heat while the other reaches up to softly play with your engorged nipple through the velvet of the bralette.

“I’m such a lucky man, the mother of my babies.” He kissed around your exposed chest “My wife… is the most beautiful woman in existence. You don’t even know how grateful I am to be with you, Sweetness.”

 Jungkook

Jungkook was so excited when he had found out you were expecting a child, so excited that he bought a brand-new camera just to take pictures of you throughout your pregnancy to see your tummy grow. Every day after work he made sure to take an aesthetic picture of you to eventually make a scrapbook to give to you for your next anniversary. Today he called you excitedly asking you to fill the bathtub with water, JUST water, he emphasized, so when he texted you that he was five minutes away you began to fill the tub with hot water. You hear the quiet buzz of the keypad as Jungkook put in the code to your apartment.

“Baby girl I’m home, did you fill the bathtub!” His voice ricocheted throughout the house.

“Yes, Bun I’m filling it up as we speak.” He set his bag down and took his camera and the lights and brought them with him to your restroom. He set the lights up and slung his camera around his neck.

“Baby, can you put on that pretty red robe, the really long one that’s transparent.” He looked down at you with his big bright eyes and sent you a loving smile. You walk out to your room and your husband continues fixing the bathtub. He grabbed a couple of the roses and removed the petals from the stem tossing the loose petals into the water. He took a few of the tea candles and placed them in the tub to see how they float in the bath. Content with the candles, he continued to fiddle with the color of the lighting until he found a setting that he knew would compliment your skin tone.

Your footsteps patter on the glossy tile. This alerted Jungkook to your presence. He turned to see you in the luxurious red garment. His eyes travel down the expanse of your body and he feels his member twitch in his grey joggers. He whispers a quiet wow under his breath. A flash of light reflects off the shiny tile. Jungkook looked down at his hands and noticed that his finger was on the shutter release.

“Eomeo.” He chuckled

“Get in the tub baby and just relax for me.” You reach out for Jungkook so he could help you get into the bath carefully. The fabric of your robe swirled around in the tub majestically, the rose petals splayed around your glowing figure. The candles bobbed softly around you, the set up made you feel expensive, luxurious, and sexy. You had to give it to Jungkook. He really had an eye for visual effect.

“I’m going to start okay?” He lifted the camera up to his face. He moved around you to find all of the best angles. Every once in a while, he’d give you instructions for the poses he wanted you in. After a couple of minutes, you begin to notice your husband's focus waning. Your gaze sweeps down his frame until your eyes land on his hardened member.

“Kookie, you’re hard.” You smile up at him innocently.

“How could I not be, Beautiful.” He walks up close to the tub. He reaches down to grab your chin with his thumb and forefinger. He pulls your face up to sear your lips in a passionate kiss.

“My baby girl is so sexy.” He bites harshly onto your bottom lip. “Seeing you like this… with your swollen breast, and your beautiful baby bump.” His hand reached down into the water and settles on your tummy.

“Just, I don’t know… I…it makes me want you so damn much.”

~AdMin

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[astarryon]

Tame Your Demons

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Violence, blood mention, implied assault, language, general criminal minds things

Summary: The deal you have with Spencer is simple. You call him to take care of the men looking to take advantage of innocents on the street, and he comes to ensure you don’t kill them before he gets the chance. Unfortunately for the both of you, though, things don’t always go according to plan.

A/N: This is my latest love letter to Spencer Reid and Criminal Minds! Part Two will be posted a little later this week, and will be for a slightly more mature audience, if y’all catch my drift. A big thank you to @reids-trauma​ for letting me run this fic by her, she’s literally half the reason it even saw the light of day. Enjoy!

Masterlist

––

You see him before he sees you.

It doesn’t hurt your feelings— it’s the norm, in any case, and it’s what typically happens each time you reach out to plan a rendezvous. Part of the agreement is that you get to set the location, and you’re always careful to pick places you’re comfortable enough to slip your way out of unnoticed in case he ever morals up and brings his team to corner you. To his credit, that hasn’t happened yet — though you’re not naive enough to give up on the idea that it ever will just yet — but never subscribing to uncertain chances was a lesson you’d learned a long time ago.

But you know you’re safe for tonight, at least. He wouldn’t be meandering around the bar for such a prolonged amount of time searching for you if there were rows of feds waiting to take you into custody as soon as you stepped foot out the door. It takes a full fifteen seconds before his wandering gaze finally touches on you, another three before the glint of recognition appears in his eyes, and by the time he’s straightening his spine and striding purposefully toward you, it’s been an entire minute. Damn. Someone was really starting to lose their touch.

“You’re late, Doc,” you simper, arching a brow as you knock back a hearty sip from your glass. “Didn’t your mommy ever tell you it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?”

“Couldn’t be helped,” Reid huffs, crossing his arms over one another as he tries — and fails — to sidle up to you in a casual manner. You note the way he avoids touching the bar at all costs, how he folds in on himself like an exceptionally uncomfortable piece of origami. And then, of course, there’s the suit, far too dressy for a place so casual as the lively little bar nestled in the far side of downtown Georgetown. Jesus, the only way he would look like even more of an off the clock fed would be if his badge were superglued to his palm. “Getting away from the others without raising suspicion on such short notice isn’t exactly the easiest thing to pull off.”

“Yeah, well,” you chuckle, taking another sip from your glass. You make eyes at him, pointedly and conspicuously allowing your gaze to rake his lanky, suit clad frame head to toe. He looks good in the outfit he’s picked, the dark black of his jacket drawing the eye to the maroon button down he wore beneath it, and you marvel at the way his chosen color palette sets off his skin in the dim light. If Reid notices your staring or cares, he makes no show of it. Your ogling doesn’t bother him, not like it used to — doesn’t even make him blush, to your admitted dismay, though you suppose that makes sense. Spencer Reid is nothing like the sweet, shy boy he used to be. He’s not so wide eyed and naive anymore, though you’d never expected that to last very long in the first place. Still — getting a rise out of him had always been your favorite part of your arrangement. If you don’t get to keep that going, these meetings are about to become significantly less fun. “That’s the deal, isn’t it? When I call, you come running.”

“That’s the deal,” he mutters, nonchalantly waving off the approaching bartender. “And I came running. So who is it?”

You jut your lip out into a pout, resting your elbows atop the bar before settling your chin against your palms, sparing only a moment’s thought for how low the neckline of your dress must be dipping with the switch in position before casting the worry out of your mind. Were any other man your company tonight, you might have felt more concern for your modesty, but Spencer Reid was far from being anything like most men, and, honestly, the day you caught him checking you out was the day you mentally marked another tally on your side of the metaphorical score board. “Why’s it always straight to business with you?”

“Because—“

“No ‘hello’,” you go on, skirt riding further up your thigh as you cross your legs over each other. Not even a spare glance. Damn. “No ‘how are you,’ no admission of your undying love for me. If you’re not careful, Spencer, you’re going to start hurting my feelings.”

“No offense,” Spencer retorts, sounding particularly unconcerned with whether his words actually offend you or not, “but your feelings aren’t exactly my top priority right now. Arresting whoever this man is before you take it upon yourself to brutalize him is.”

“Well he’d deserve it, if I did,” you tell him matter of factly, swirling the contents of your glass as you pretend to be more interested in that than the eye-catching man just beside you. “This one likes to take advantage of young girls in clubs who accept drinks from strangers because they don’t know any better and still think there are nice people left in the world. Sometimes he keeps track, like it’s a game, and tries to see how many he can assault in a night, and this most recent time three of them made it home all right, but the fourth one turned up in a dumpster. So, yeah, Spencer, you’ll have to forgive me for figuring that if he ends up in a back alley with a couple of bruises and a broken leg he probably got what was coming to him, but don’t insult me by implying that I don’t know how to keep a promise.”

“If broken legs and bruises were all you left men with it wouldn’t be such a problem,” comes Spencer’s dry remark. “Unfortunately for the both of us, you seem to have a particular affinity for leaving men in comas.”

An affinity with which Spencer was all too familiar, you knew — not because he’d fallen victim to your habit of enacting revenge for all those poor defenseless victims, but because he’d caught you in the act with someone else. Two years later and you still weren’t positive how he’d managed to track you down. Spencer had told you minimal things — that an acquaintance on the city’s police force had reached out for his advice on a mysterious case of incapacitated men turning up in dark alleys, rarely little more than a few minutes away from going brain dead. That he’d been surprised to realize you profiled as female, considering the amount of unadulterated rage your behavior presented. That he’d made the decision to do what he could to keep from turning you in provided you help him be able to do so with a clean conscience before he’d even found you standing over some man with a white-knuckled grip on a tire iron.

“Give me your word that you’ll contact me first,” he’d instructed, a shockingly small amount of hesitancy glinting in his irises. “Give me your word that from the moment you call me, I have twenty four hours to find you so I can take care of all those awful men the right way. If I don’t make it in that time frame, they’re fair game, but if I find out that you laid a finger on them before you called me, I’ll personally see to it that you do time for every single man you’ve hospitalized. Can you agree to that?”

And you had. Partly because you had no interest in spending any prolonged amount of time behind bars, and partly because the odd sense of emotional recognition he’d gazed upon you with had been so unlike anything you’d ever been met with from another human being that you were essentially startled into instant complacency.

“He’s in the bathroom,” you sigh, downing the rest of your drink and flagging the bartender down for another. More for show than anything else, though you know the theatrics aren’t strictly necessary. Your drink of choice while out with company is much more coke than it is rum, and after two years there isn’t any doubt in your mind that Spencer is aware of that. “Has been for a while now, as a matter of fact, because he’s pompous and arrogant and wants to make sure the bait is set right for the barely legal girl he’s meeting here tonight.”

“Don’t suppose you want to share with the class the barely legal method you used to figure that one out?” Spencer deadpans, plucking your new drink from the bar and draining a few healthy sips before you even have the chance to reach for it. That’s something he’s never done before, though you suppose his repulsion to germs wouldn’t factor in one way or the other since the drink was fresh. But Spencer never indulged in alcohol around you, and was always incredibly careful to keep his guard up during these meetings. Either he was playing a different angle tonight, or something in him had drastically shifted.

“Only if you want to share with the class why I’ve been tailing this guy for two and a half weeks while you dodged my phone calls,” you retort, never breaking eye contact as you grab the glass and tilt the rim to your mouth, in just the same place that Spencer’s had been. You think you see a vein in his neck pulse as you swallow, but you can’t be sure whether the lights are playing tricks on you, so you decide not to count it. “Not like you to leave an innocent man’s life in my hands.”

Spencer arches a brow, eyes narrowing as he searches your face for something you’re not sure about. “Not like you to wait to hear back from me before doing anything about it.” He pauses, then, and more to himself than to you mutters, “And I’ve never said they were innocent.”

“Guess you’re right,” you mutter, shrugging a shoulder and leaning back in your chair as you let your eyes scan around the restaurant. The man you’re looking for is still nowhere to be found, and with the way your nerves are beginning to fray beneath Spencer’s all too calm and collected scrutiny, it’s hard to get ahold of your imagination as it barrels toward the worst case. “He’s still not back.”

“He’s probably still in the bathroom,” Spencer offers, giving an unconcerned shrug of his own. “You said he was a primper.”

“It’s been almost twenty minutes,” you shoot back, fixing him with a harsh stare. Normally you’d bother to be a bit more vivacious when speaking to Spencer, even in spite of your own irritation, but the sinking feeling in your stomach is making it impossible to pay attention to niceties. “That’s never happened before. Something’s wrong.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” But even to you Spencer’s words sound hesitant, like he’s trying to convince rather than tell, and somehow his lack of confidence only serves to make your throat that much thicker. “He couldn’t have left already, you would’ve seen him.”

Yeah, you would have — provided you hadn’t allowed every ounce of your attention to be monopolized by Spencer. You’d been so preoccupied with trying to appeal to his attention, so hung up on matching him wit for wit and taunting and tempting him with bared flesh and sultry gazes that, truthfully, anything could have escaped your notice in the last couple of minutes. Anything. And if some poor girl ended up preyed upon, if she ended up beaten or assaulted or worse, it wouldn’t be as simple as blaming the monster taking advantage of her. You wouldn’t even be able to blame Spencer for distracting you. No— the only person you’d have to blame would be yourself.

“He’s gone,” you breathe, horror a jagged knife twisting in your stomach. Your hands shake so badly that Spencer has to uncurl your fingers from around your glass so he can set it gently down for you. “God, he’s— I let him get away. He’s gone.”

“Don’t work yourself up,” Spencer insists, and if you weren’t sure your panic was playing tricks on you, you’d have sworn you saw his hand reach out to comfort you, just as you saw apprehension tensing his expression. Of course the one thing it took to get a reaction out of him would be unbridled panic. “Listen to me, everything is fine.”

“Not for whatever girl he decided he liked enough to blow off his date for!” you hiss, and it’s a strain to keep your volume low enough not to attract the attention of any other patrons, but you manage. “We need to— Spencer, we have to stop him! He’s going to hurt somebody!”

“Okay,” Spencer tries to calm you, quickly moving to his feet. You can’t get a read on the way he’s looking at you, can’t tell if he’s taking you seriously or trying to decide if he should make a phone call to he nearest psychiatrist, but he seems to be picking up on the urgency of the situation, so you make the choice to let it go. “Let me go check the bathroom to see if he’s still here. If he’s not there, then we can start worrying.” He turns, taking three steps towards the bathroom before spinning on his heel and coming back to say, “Just— stay here, okay? Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

And as you watch his back as he makes the trek towards the restroom, you think about doing what he tells you to. Truly, you do. Spencer could walk into that bathroom and find the man you’d been planning to turn over to his custody and come back with him in handcuffs, unable to help leveling a handsome smirk at you by way of a silent I told you so. You could be panicking for nothing.

But… if there was even the slightest chance that someone innocent could be in the worst kind of danger, was it really worth leaving their fate up to a coin toss?

You’re on your feet as soon as Spencer’s out of sight, beelining for the exit and dodging between other patrons until your legs have carried you out the door and immediately to the dimly lit corner of the block, lined with the closed shops and darkened alleys the man you were after would need to get away with the unspeakable acts he planned to commit. Even as you book it to stop what you know in your gut to be happening, you can’t help but to hope that Spencer had been right. Things would certainly be easier to stomach, were that the case.

But, as you’d somehow known with sickening clarity, the closer you draw to the dark alley gaping between the buildings down the street, the more prominent sounds of a struggle become. You heard a man’s voice — deep and angry and enough to set your hands shaking and your mind blazing with fury — and then, beneath that, the muffled, whimpered cries of a young woman, the sounds of which were so pitiful that you didn’t need to have laid an eye on her to know that she was already sobbing. After that, all thoughts of Spencer effectively flew out the window. Suddenly all there was in your mind’s eye was you, some poor innocent girl having the worst night of her life, and what you were going to do to ensure that nothing bad befell her or any other girl ever again.

“Hey!” you screech, running head first into the alley. “Get the fuck off of her!”

There isn’t any time to survey your surroundings, to take stock of the fact that the man you’d known would be out here was in the process of brutalizing a young woman — one who looked to be barely more than a teen, to your unadulterated horror — nor was there time to really assess what you were barreling toward. All you knew was that your body moved of its own volition, and it was much too late to think things through once you’d collided so forcefully with the assailant that you’d knocked him bodily to the ground. It was too late to second guess yourself now, to wonder whether it wouldn’t be smarter to wait for Spencer, who could actually, legally take care of this guy. The only thing that mattered now was getting justice for everyone who had been too incapacitated to stand up for themselves.

“What the fuck?” the man hisses from beneath you, but you’re already whipping around to get a look at the frightened girl staring down at you. Her eyes are rimmed red, tears trailing down her cheeks, and to your morbid relief, you note that she appears to have no more than an expression of horror on her face.

You’d made it in time, then. By the grace of some higher power, you’d made it in time.

“There’s an FBI agent in the bar down the street,” you bark at her, struggling against the brute strength of the man you were trying — and failing — to keep pinned down. “His name is Spencer Reid. Find him.”

And that was all you had to say before she was running off down the alley and out of sight, the mercy of her safety striking such a psychological chord that you were just distracted enough for the man beneath you to throw a punch that successfully manages to clip you on the jaw, causing stars to swim in your vision as a result.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he hisses, quickly pushing himself to his feet and leering over you with a sneer. It made sense that he was under the impression that he had the upper hand— were you anyone else, he likely would have, and you’d have been little more to him than a replacement for the target you’d just saved.

But you weren’t anyone else. You weren’t helpless, or defenseless, and you certainly weren’t about to let this lowlife get away with all of the things he thought he was. No — you were someone hellbent on making a lasting difference in the world, and if that had to start with this guy getting his head bashed in, then so be it. You were down a tire iron, but your rage was weapon enough.

You wait until he grabs at your shoulder, waiting for just the right moment as he fully extends his elbow before punching as hard as you can against it in the opposite direction, not pausing to hear the sickening crunch of his bone snapping before rolling to the side, jumping to your feet, and subsequently kicking out his knee with a high heel clad foot. His howls of pain are equivalent to music in your ears, but you don’t pause to revel in the sound before you continue on with enacting your justified persecution. In this moment, you aren’t yourself. You’re not sure who you are, as a matter of fact, but you know it isn’t someone willing to let this lowlife get away with the mass amounts of pain and terror he’s inflicted on so many innocents.

“You like that, baby?” you snarl, letting your foot fly against his unprotected ribcage over and over again between sentences. “Does that feel good? Hmm?”

“You—“ The man cuts himself off with a hacked cough, spluttering and moaning as blood trickles down his chin. You’re not sure if that’s because you’ve kicked him in the face without noticing or because you’ve done enough damage to have already caused internal bleeding, but you’re not overly focused on figuring it out. “You psychotic— bitch,” he spits, and the hatred he gazes up at you with is so potent that you can’t help the wicked grin that curls across your mouth in response.

“That’s right,” you murmur, hovering your foot over the center of his chest for just a moment before digging your heel into his sternum. The harder you press, the louder he roars, and the louder he roars, the more you’re inclined to ensure that his screams continue. It’s a vicious cycle, but one you’re much too fond of to let go. “I’m a crazy, psychotic bitch because I’m a woman who stands up for herself and other women, and because I won’t let shitbags like you take advantage of us. Do you even know how old that girl was?”

His face contorts in pain, hands flying to your ankle in an attempt to pry your foot off his chest, but with one arm out of commission and pain proving to be too much of a distraction, he doesn’t manage to make any significant progress in alleviating your attacks. “Fuck you,” he hisses, but even to your ears, the vulgar words sound weak and reedy.

“I’m sure you’d like to,” you shoot back, digging your heel in that much further. You wait until you see tears welling in the corners of his eyes before letting any of the pressure up, and when you’re sure he’s hurting too badly to try and pull a fast one on you, you step off his chest and kneel to the ground, straddling his torso before your hands snake up to form a necklace at his throat. “You’re not used to girls fighting back, are you? You’re not used to anyone putting up a fight, and because of that you think you can just take whatever you want. Is that right?”

His eyes bulge out of their sockets as you begin to squeeze, hissed obscenities caught in his throat with nowhere to go, and the more he claws at the manacles your hands form, the tighter you let your grip become. It’s power, what you feel as you reconcile with the fact that you’re now quite literally holding this man’s life in your hands, and for a moment, you forget everything else. That you were only in this situation because you’d set out to save someone, that you’d sent that very same someone to go and fetch Spencer to come resolve all of this, that you weren’t an angel of death enacting revenge upon those who rightfully deserved what was coming to them. All those things washed away in the night, in just the same way as the beginning rainfall washed the man’s blood onto the ground in runny pink ribbons. It was only you and him, now. Nothing else mattered.

“You know, it’s men like you,” you snarl, squeezing so tightly against his throat that your knuckles go white and your fingers stiff, “that make people afraid to walk home alone at night. To send their kids off to college, to let their little ones grow up and experience the world. Because there are always— always monsters like you just waiting to take advantage of us. And no one’s ever made you pay for that, before, have they? That’s why you’re still so cocky, and confident enough to pull this shit out in the open because you know you’ll get away with it.”

Distantly, in the back of your mind, you think you hear someone calling your name. It’s hard to say for certain; with how focused you are on enacting revenge, on making sure this lowlife feels every single ounce of pain he’s ever managed to inflict on another unsuspecting human, your senses aren’t left with much more of an attention span. Even if they had been, you wouldn’t have bothered using it. Your fury, burning your nerves like hellfire, proves such a strong beacon of desire that you have no choice but to indulge. It feels good, the way his breath catches beneath where the heel of your palm digs into his throat, and you can tell by the way his eyes are beginning to cloud that if you keep it up, if you press just a little harder, squeeze just a little more—

Warm, strong arms snake around your middle, forming an inescapable cage of iron trying to pry you off the man beneath you, and the primal snarl that rips from your throat in response is a clear threat, but it does nothing to deter them. Hyperfixated as you are on finishing the job and ensuring that the man on the ground never lives to breathe another day, you don’t have the attention to spare, but your subconscious takes in the sharp scent of cloves filling your nostrils, the soft brush of curls against your shoulder, the domineering grip shackling your wrist maintaining a surprising air of gentleness. Your name is hurriedly whispered into your ear once, twice, three times, and by the fourth round you realize they’re not whispers at all — they’re shouts.

“Let go of him,” Spencer barks, bruising your ribs with how harshly he yanks you backwards. “Listen to me, listen to me. Let go of him.”

“Get off me!” you hiss in pain, stars dancing across your vision as you feel a slight bend in one of your bones, throwing an elbow back in retaliation. It lands square on his chest, and though the resulting grunt of pain he gives is certainly satisfying, it isn’t worth the grip you lose on the man’s neck. Once you’re down by one hand, it isn’t at all difficult for Spencer to wrench the second one back, and before you know it you’re a good ten feet down the alley, kicking and screaming wildly against Spencer’s grip as the monster you’d nearly strangled to death sputtered his way back to life.

“Calm down,” Spencer snaps, voice deep and low in your ear as he adjusts his grip around your torso so that you’re more fully pressed agains his body. “You need to breathe, do you hear me? Snap out of it. She’s okay. You got here in time and she’s okay. She’s safe, and you’re safe. Calm down. Calm down.”

You want to tell Spencer that he’s wrong. That you can’t be safe, that no one can be, so long as the man groaning on the ground across the alley is allowed to keep breathing. That this man can’t be allowed to live another day, waiting for the next opportunity to take advantage of an unsuspecting stranger who didn’t know any better. That it would be better to put him down now than to wait around for him to fuck up all over again, to ruin someone else’s life.

So you do.

Or, you try to. But all that manages to leave your mouth is little more than bent sobs and broken screams.

“It’s okay,” Spencer goes on, “it’s alright. Everything’s alright.” He uses the grip he’s got on your arm to spin you around, muffling your sobs as he brings your head against his chest and keeps it there with a gentle hand rested against the back of your head. Your body’s shaking so badly against his that, with your eyes still closed, you’re certain you’re still struggling to free yourself from his grip. It isn’t until you feel your fingers — numb with cold and shock and adrenaline — curl into his jacket that you realize you’re holding onto him for dear life. “Just breathe. Just breathe. You’re okay.”

“He was going to—“ You cut yourself off with a choked sob, shaking your head profusely. “He was going to—“

“I know,” Spencer murmurs, “I know. You don’t have to explain, just breathe.”

You hate this — that he’s caught you in such a vulnerable position, that he’s bearing witness to the rapid decline of your mental state. You hate that this is what it took to finally get him to wrap his arms around you, to offer words of reassurance and certainty rather than fixing you with unimpressed looks and exasperated eye rolls. Most of all, though, you hate that he’s now seen you at your worst, and that, going forward, he’ll never quite be able to dissociate you from the monster you truly are.

You don’t know how long he holds you there, murmuring insistent reassurances into your ear as he holds you gently to his chest. For how at odds it is with every other interaction you’d had with him — those ones where he’d roll his eyes, wave you off, regard you as little more than a vapid, spoiled brat who was all too used to getting her way — it’s nearly impossible to reconcile how you’d grown used to being treated with how you were being treated now. And though it’s certainly the last thing your mind should be focussing on, though you really don’t have the mental capacity required to work through this on top of everything else, you can’t help but come to the realization that you’re actually quite fond of the change.

A voice from across the alley cuts through the careful atmosphere of misguided comfort Spencer has crafted for you, and though he won’t let you turn around — actually goes so far as to squeeze his arms more tightly around your middle so that you can’t — the very sound of the man’s voice sends you dangerously close to the edge of the precipice all over again. “Are you… the fed that bitch was talking about?” His voice is hoarse, and half his words come out in broken hacks. It’s childish in the most juvenile of ways, but you can’t help the twinge of satisfaction that sparks to life in your blood. “Arrest her! She tried to kill me!”

“Actually,” Spencer mutters darkly in response, “from where I’m standing and from what that high school senior told me, she was only trying to stop you from committing assault. If anyone here is getting arrested tonight, it’s you.”

“Are you— are you fucking serious?” The blatant shock shooting his cracked voice up two octaves might have been funny, were the situation that led to it not so horribly severe. “She broke my fucking leg!”

“Thing is,” Spencer shoots back, never even missing a beat, “they do a lot worse to rapists in prison. I’d know— I’ve seen it.” The way his voice drops as the words tumble from his mouth catches your attention, but you don’t have the time to properly contemplate asking why before he’s going on. “You ask me, she went a little too easy on you. Remember that when you finally get what’s coming to you.”

And then Spencer’s calmly leading you away, maintaining a gentle yet firm grip on your waist to keep you from trying to look back. Even if you could, you don’t imagine you’d be much inclined to. You have no remorse for what you’d nearly done, and, truthfully, you’d left men in far worse states in the past. You know that; Spencer does, too. Yet, even in spite of that, even in spite of the fact that this was the second night he’d born witness to you attempting to kill a man, his touch on your body remains soft, and he curls over you like a protective blanket.

“We can’t just leave him,” you find the strength to whisper once you’ve put a healthy amount of distance between you and the alley’s opening. The street lights grow brighter the closer the two of you get to the bar, and you’d never admit it out loud, but it makes you feel that much safer. “He’ll get away. You need to… you need to go back.”

“I called the police as soon as I went to go check the bathroom,” Spencer tells you, leading you back into the safety of the bar. Suddenly surrounded by the sounds of raucous laughter and joyful whoops, it’s almost easy to forget what just occurred outside — almost. “They were on standby in case anything went wrong, but I had them hang back until I could get you out of there safely. They’re probably in the middle of cuffing him now.”

“And the girl?” you ask, so dazed that you don’t even protest or make any sort of snappy remark as Spencer gently helps you into a secluded corner booth. “She’s... you made sure she got home safe?”

“I called her a taxi and gave her my phone number,” Spencer answers, fixing you with as reassuring a stare as he can manage. “She’s going to give me a call in the morning about pressing charges. She was scared and a little banged up, but he didn’t... nothing happened. You stopped it before it could.”

You’re too weak to do anything with the knowledge but nod and sink down to the table, protectively covering your head with your arms as you squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe. Dark thoughts, thoughts twisted in rage and a deeply intense need to protect, continue swirling through your mind, and if you’d thought catching your breath was impossible before, it’s effectively become something of an Olympic sport now, though the reasoning for why effectively evades your understanding. What you’d been through tonight, what you’d been ready to do to that man — if he could even be called a man — isn’t anything that’s never happened before. Hell, scum like that were the very reason you’d gotten caught up with Spencer in the first place.

But… something’s different now. You can tell by the way the oxygen rattles through your lungs, the way you can’t still your shaking fingers as they clatter against the tabletop. You don’t know what it is, where it’s come from, or how to stop it, but it’s there, and you can feel it.

Fingers softly brush up against one of your wrists, startling you so forcefully from your reverie that you can’t help the cry of shock that drops from your mouth as you yank your arm back with as much urgency as if you’d been burned. Seconds pass, then ten, then thirty, and even as your subconscious mind works double time to interpret the concerned light in Spencer’s eyes in response to his touch, you remain unable to fully come back to the present.

“You need to eat something,” he tells you, casting his eyes back down to the table. It’s a testament to how much time has passed that there are now two glasses of water covered in condensation that, up until this point, you’d not even been aware were present. “It’ll help with the shock.”

“I’m not going into shock,” you mutter, squeezing your hands together and resting them in front of you. Spencer catches sight, but if he has something to say about it he keeps it to himself. “And I’m not hungry. I just want to go home.”

“And I’ll take you there,” Spencer responds, metaphorically digging his feet in. “But you need to eat something first. And drink water.”

You roll your eyes, shakily moving to stand. “I’m not—“

“Sit down.” The hard glint in his eyes, sharp and metallic as a knife, makes it clear that he isn’t asking, and against your stubborn will, you immediately do as he commands. You want to think it’s simply because you’re too tired to fight back rather than too frightened or intimidated, but then, you can’t quite be sure. At least, not until Spencer leans across the table, insistently holding your gaze in something that you think might be a warning, and it’s only now that you realize he’s been holding back his frustration in favor of seeing to your needs, just as his composure begins to slip. “I told you to wait for me at the bar.”

“Yeah, you did,” you respond with a halfhearted roll of your eyes. “You should have known better.”

“No,” Spencer shoots back, “you should have listened to me. Instead you went and broke your word, all because you had something to prove to yourself.”

You can’t help but scoff in disbelief at Spencer’s implication, momentarily startled into genuine speechlessness. Those words hurt — so much so that you really weren’t inclined to admit that they did, lest Spencer think he have more power over you than you were actually willing to give him. So instead, you pushed back the hurt and leaned into the rage. It wasn’t healthy by any means, but at this point, you’d try just about anything to cut through the debilitating numbness medicating your senses at the moment.

“I didn’t break shit!” you hiss, repressing the urge to scream. “And if you really think I did what I did because I was thinking of myself, then you’re just as bad— no, scratch that, you’re… you’re even fucking worse than the rest of them!”

And you expect Spencer to launch some scathingly cruel insult back at you, one that cuts you deeper than you’d ever known words could be capable of, because Spencer’s a genius, after all, and he’s kept up with you enough over the years that he knows how to make an insult hurt if he wants it to. To your admitted surprise, though, he doesn’t open his mouth and hurl knives your way; he doesn’t even look at you like he wants to hurt you, in the way that you’re positive you’re looking at him. Instead, he only blinks down at you, carefully analyzing the expression on your face and the fury in your words before giving you any kind of response. It’s more than you deserve, really.

But Spencer’s soul has always struck you as kind.

“You could have gotten yourself hurt tonight,” he sighs, shaking his head in what you think could be disappointment. “You realize that, don’t you? That what you did was reckless and ridiculously stupid?”

You bark a harsh laugh in response to that, shaking your head as you go on squeezing your hands together. “In case you didn’t notice, I wasn’t the one in danger. Believe me, you didn’t have anything to worry about.”

“You said he’s escalated to killing girls after assaulting them,” Spencer presses, and it’s only as you minutely glance down at the table that you realize he’s curling his hands into fists of his own. “Did you ever stop to think that if he’d managed to overpower you, that could have happened to you too?

“Well it didn’t, did it?” you snap, searching for the power to quell your sudden annoyance. You know it’s misplaced; Spencer’s only doing his best to take care of you, without saying as much in so many words. You should be happier for it; after all, hadn’t you spent years attempting to get Spencer to consider you? To leave lasting impressions on his mind? To sneak your way into his late night, private, personal thoughts? Sure, on the surface it had all been more for show than anything else, but… even if he’d never known the truth, you certainly always did. “I’m fine. Okay? Fine. I’m not going into shock—“

“You’re certainly acting like you are.”

“— I’m not having a panic attack—“

“Again, you could have fooled me.”

“— and I’m not hungry! Okay? I’m not! I just want to go home!”

And it’s lucky that Spencer had the foresight to seat the both of you as far away from the general population of the bar as possible, lest any of the unsuspecting strangers hear the two of you squabbling over something so harrowing, but even if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have cared enough to bother lowering your voice. All of these people, laughing, chatting, obliviously participating in their good times, and all the while an innocent girl had nearly been violated just a few buildings away out on the street. It wouldn’t have been their fault — really, the only person that should have been held accountable was hopefully being dragged to the police station at this very moment — but the fact that life could so casually go on while a child had to suffer the worst night of their life in silence just didn’t sit particularly well in your throat.

You inhale a deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut as you brace against the inky misery staining your senses. When you open them again, blinking through the stubborn tears trying to form in the brim of your eyes, you find Spencer carefully considering your face, and all you can do is hope he doesn’t notice the way your lip wobbles.

“I just want to go home,” you say again, hardly managing to get the words out in anything above a whisper. “Please, Spencer, just… I don’t… I can’t be here right now. Please just take me home.”

It’s hard to say what exactly takes the fight out of him. It could be the way you’ve said his name, softly, desperately, pleading in a manor which you’re certain he’s never heard from you before. But then, it could also be the tears welling in your eyes, far more conspicuous a sight than you’d have liked and one Spencer had only ever been confronted with once before. Whatever it is that’s done the trick, it prompts the softening of his gaze, along with the gentle downturn of the curve of his mouth. Just out of the corner of your eye, you think you see his fingers dancing hesitantly over the table top as they steadily migrate closer to yours, and though he doesn’t try to make contact with you this time, he manages to offer you an inexplicable amount of comfort as his fingers dance in a mirror image of the motions of yours.

“Okay,” Spencer concedes, frustration fading out of his expression to allow concern to take the lead. “If that’s what you need, then okay. But— just, put this on, at least.” Before you can interpret his meaning, he’s shrugging out of his jacket and pushing it across the table, and before you can protest, he’s pressing forward stubbornly. “It’s raining outside, you’re shaking, and that dress is gorgeous but it’s not going to stop you from catching hypothermia. Just wear it until we get to the car.”

He’s not leaving you a choice, judging by the glint in his eye that makes it clear he isn’t willing to hear any back talk on the subject. You consider doing so anyway — partly because you’re not sure you’re in the mood to take orders from Spencer, no matter how emotionally distressed you are, and partly because you’re afraid the weight of his jacket on your skin and the scent of his cologne in your nose would be just a bit too intimate for you to handle in this moment — but ultimately, you do as he asks, grabbing at the dark bundle of fabric and wrapping it around yourself like a blanket of protection.

It’s… warm. And it smells good, too. Embarrassing as it is, concentrating on further inhaling the scent of it — of him — is nearly enough to instantly cause your hands to cease their trembling.

“Let’s go,” Spencer murmurs, offering his hand as he stands from the table.

Wordlessly, you take it.

––

Part Two: Something of a Dangerous Game

[lunarliza]

JJ Maybank Must Die | Chapter 4: Oysters

fuckboy!JJ x Reader

series masterlist | prev. chapter | chapter one

JJ Maybank is the island’s most infamous fuckboy- not that you ever cared. But when a group of tourist girls come to your surf shop crying to you about him, you agree to help them plot revenge. Sabotage is all fun and games, until you find that the playboy you were sworn to ruin happens to be falling head over heels for you.

Yes, this is based on John Tucker Must Die lol

Sure enough, JJ arrived at your house at seven o’clock sharp. 

Your mom answered the door and let him in while you hung back in your room, finishing the last touches to your outfit. Granted, you got home late from the shack and only had twenty minutest to get ready. 

You stuck on Sophia’s gold hoop earrings and sprayed a bottle of cheap lavender perfume you got during White Elephant one year. 

“Alright,” you rasped, entering the living room in a white puff-sleeved sundress, “Let’s get this show on the road.” 

You meant it. You wanted to be there and back as soon as humanly possible. 

JJ stood from your couch. He did clean up well, you had to admit. His usual ripped cargo shorts and chopped-sleeve tanks were replaced with an ironed navy polo and khakis. You even noticed that he even brushed his hair for once. 

“Well, it’s nice to finally see you out of a red bathing suit,” he greeted with a small smile, “You look really nice y/n.” 

With his hand on the small of your back, he led you out the front door after you bid your parents goodbye. 

“Where are we going again?” you asked as JJ clutched the steering wheel of his dad’s old truck. He originally tried to reach for your thigh when you first got in, but you swatted his hand away before he even got the chance. 

“The Wreck,” he replied, turning up the rap song on the stereo to a deafening volume. 

You let out an incredulous scoff. “Are you serious? Good luck getting a table at this time. It’ll be packed! It’s seven on a Friday night. We’ll be waiting at least two hours.” 

JJ threw you a cocky smirk, still eyeing the road. “Don’t doubt me yet, princess, I have my ways.” 

The two of you entered the packed restaurant, and you couldn’t contain the bewilderment that hung on your face. It was like walking into a herd of wild chickens. As soon as JJ swung open the door, people were on the verge of hurdling out the doorway.

“This is insane, JJ,” you gasped, stepping into the sea of grumbling hungry people, “Honestly, we can just try somewhere else.” 

“Don’t worry,” he emphasized again, “I got it.” 

Heaving through the mob, you finally made it to the hostess stand as you stood behind JJ. The man behind the podium crinkled his nose in disgust once he caught sight of your date. “You again.” 

JJ flashed the man his usual shit-eating grin. “Kiara said she reserved a spot for me, for two,” he mentioned proudly. 

Begrudgingly, the man yanked out two menus. “Yes, she did mention that one of her hooligan friends was coming in tonight,” he deepened his glare at the blonde, “This way.” 

He motioned for the two of you to follow and led you to a hidden room just outside the kitchen with a small table set for two. The ruckus from the main floor was muffled through the walls and the lighting was slightly dim.

“Wow,” you peered around the romantic set up, “So this is where you take all your girls.” 

Your date scoffed, about to protest, until you cut him off. “And don’t give me that lame ‘you’re the first one I’ve ever brought here’ line cause I know I’m not.”  

That shut him up real quick as he basically plopped down in his chair and whipped open the menu without another word. You heard Kiara’s dad snort under his breath before exiting the room. It felt good to put the player in his place for once. 

A server came by shortly to fill your fancy glasses with water and placed a basket of assorted bread on the candle-lit table. You all but hounded at the sight of carbs, taking huge unladylike bites. 

In your defense, you hadn’t eaten at all that day. Your stomach was basically rumbling in the car under JJ’s thundering rap playlist. 

“So,” JJ continued, ignoring your minorly disturbing eating habits, “I heard the Sea-Side Salad here is really good.” 

Salad? 

Your face knotted. He really must be ingesting too much salt water if he thought you were looking anywhere in the salad section of your menu. 

“Yeah, I’m not really feeling any of these light options,” you stated, flipping through the pages. 

It was his turn to be baffled. “Really? Well, all the girls you’ve claimed I’ve taken here have ordered it,” he scratched the back of his head,  “What are you in the mood for then?” 

Your eyes scanned through the seafood courses. Technically, you were being forced to go on this date against your wishes. Why not get all you can out of it? Make his pockets hurt. Besides, he did take you to the best seafood restaurant on the entire island. 

“I’m feeling oysters and maybe some crab legs. Ooh, I didn’t even see the calamari,” you continued, “Okay, let’s get calamari, four pounds of oysters, crab legs, and fried shrimp to finish.” 

JJ shut his menu loudly with a ear-to-ear grin stretched on his face. “You got it, princess.”

All around, your table flooded with various scrumptious dishes as you and JJ dug in to your feast. Maybe pretend-dating this boy wasn’t so bad after all. Your stomach certainly wasn’t opposed. 

He giggled when you accidentally splotched cocktail sauce on your cheek, gesturing for you to wipe it. You tried to reach for the spot, but that only caused more red sauce to smear on your face. JJ fell back in his chair laughing and stretched over with his napkin to take care of it for you. 

To your surprise, JJ actually marveled at your colorful palette, impressed by how you were able to scarf down all your food without an ounce of regret or a smudge on your white dress. 

“So besides working, what else do you like to do around here?” he asked, stuffing his face with shrimp. 

“Not much else, really,” you confessed, “Sometimes I’ll get together with friends after work. But I basically live at the shop. I’m actually trying to save up for a new car.” 

He nodded as you swiped the last oyster before he could see, chowing it down. “You know, I’ve never met anyone who could surf like you. I told my friends about the pipeline the other day and they didn’t believe me! We should’ve filmed it or something.” 

You chuckled. “Pipelines are tough, but they’re fun as hell once you figure it out.” 

He leaned back in his seat. “I bet. How’d you start surfing?” 

“My mom was really good at it when she was younger. She taught me when I was six, and I guess it just stuck.” 

“My parents taught me too,” JJ added, “My family’s all about that surfing, fishing, sailing life. It’s in our blood. But hey, you should come surf with me and my friends one day. They’ll lose their shit when they see what you can do.” 

“I’ll think about it,” you lied. You were flattered at his compliment, but if this sabotage mission was going to be executed according to schedule, you’d be done with him by July. 

Your server came by afterwards to clear your table and drop off the check. After paying what you presumed to be a ginormous bill, JJ linked his fingers with yours and led you out the packed establishment. 

He offered to take you for ice cream after, but at the point, you both were too full to take another bite of anything. 

In the car ride back, he talked just about the entire way while you hummed absentmindedly and stared out the window. JJ rambled on and on about parties, smoking, and how him and his friends vowed to have the best summer of their lives. It was nice and all, but you really weren’t that interested and were too deep in your food coma to fake listen.

Seeing as you became less and less responsive to his stories, JJ reached across the truck to your leg. A soft smile hung on his lips when you turned to him. 

“I had a really good time tonight, y/n,” he murmured, stroking your knee. 

You cocked a brow at the blonde. “You did?” 

“Definitely. I mean, I’ve never seen anyone chow down on oysters the way you did. And I like that you have a big appetite. And you aren’t afraid of trying new things. It’s hot.” 

Hm. Interesting. 

“Thanks,” you replied quietly as he pulled into your driveway. He shut off the engine and turned to you, the sound of your uneven breaths filling the car air. 

“You know,” he began, “I’ve been thinking a lot about the party last week.” 

You cocked your brow. “You have? Why?” 

“I dunno. It was really weird how you just like ran off. Made me really curious about you. You seemed so confident and everything. I mean, after that, I knew I had to go after you.” 

“I’m still not having sex with you,” you blurted. 

“Y/n,” he assured, smoothly taking your hand, “I’m not just interested in sleeping with you.” 

Somehow, you weren’t convinced. But for the sake of the operation, you played along. “Then what are you looking for with me?” 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Honestly, I’m not so sure. But I do really like hanging out with you.” 

As if you’ve never heard that one before. You wanted to groan. He really just gave you every fuckboy’s favorite line. 

“Well alright then,” you said a bit hastily and unbuckled your seatbelt, “It’s late and should really get going. Thank you again for dinner.” 

“Uh, yeah, goodnight...”

You saw a hint of desperation on his face as you turned to leave and paused. Sighing, you whirled around, reaching for his forearm that propped on the armrest. 

You gently pressed your lips on his for a moment while his large hand caressed the side of your face. It was sweet kiss. It left JJ aching for more when you pulled away. 

“When will I see you again?” he murmured as you started hopping out the truck. 

You merely shrugged. “Not sure yet. I’ll let you know when I’m free. Goodnight Loverboy.” 

Strolling back into your house, you knew you had JJ right where you wanted him. You didn’t even need to look back to know he was sitting back in his seat, completely mesmerized. 

When you flicked on the light of your room, you shrieked in alarm as four pairs of eyes practically laser-beamed at you like bats in the dark. 

“What the fuck guys?!” you shouted. 

“Your mom let us in earlier,” Soph mentioned casually, lounging on your bed. 

“How’d the test run date go?” Maia asked as Arabella and Annalise pried through your closet. 

“It was good, we went to The Wreck,” you informed, slipping out of your wedges. You patted on your food baby. “You know, I don’t mind going on more of these if free food is in the picture.” 

Arabella held one of your sundresses to her front-side, posing in your mirror. “Did he say anything about a second date?” 

“He asked when he’s gonna see me again. I don’t know why. All I did was ignore him the whole time and inhale my food. Anyways, what ploys did you guys come up with while I was gone?” 

Annalise sent a devious grin your way and pulled up the notes on her phone for you to see. “This was just from our brainstorm sesh. Most of them were Arabella’s ideas. We were waiting for you to vote on the top five.” 

The redhead flipped her hair at the mention of her name. 

Your eyes bulged at the extensive, brutal list. “Spray paint car... women’s lingerie... estrogen pills? How the hell are we gonna do all this in two weeks?” 

“Relax,” Sophia prodded, “The guy’s basically head over heels for you. Just keep your charming and unavailable act up and let us take care of the rest!” 

Just then, you heard your phone ding from your purse. It was a text from JJ. 

Just wanna say sweet dreams princess. I’ll def be dreaming about you. Anyways, movies on Tuesday? Heard Ironic Man was pretty good :) 

----------------------------------

“So you excited for this? My friends said it was super good and there’s a mind-fuck at the end,” JJ rambled as he led you up the dark steps of the semi-crowded theatre. 

“Yeah, I love Tony Park,” you replied nonchalantly, hugging the snacks.

No surprise, he booked you guys the very last row. You settled down the drinks and jumbo popcorn bucket while he lifted the seat’s arm that divided you two. He proceeded to wiggle his brows suggestively. You were glad it was dark enough that he couldn’t see your face cringing for dear life. 

Plopping down beside him, you immediately dug into the popcorn as the previews rolled. He grinned and reached for your thigh. “How was work today babe?”  

“Pretty good,” you perked a little, “I signed three new clients and even taught this sixty-year-old lady how to do a cutback!” 

“Mhm,” he mumbled, clearly not paying attention to anything that came out of your mouth. Inching closer, his lips trailed up your neck before he began nibbling on your ear. 

From the side stairway, you detected four familiar heads prance up the steps with giant hoodies shielding their faces. They slid into the row before yours, trying to to muffle their giggles with their sleeves. 

Amateurs.  

Briefly, you caught Maia’s sly wink before the group sat down. On cue, you shoved your horny date off you. 

“Hey JJ,” you whispered sultrily, placing a palm on his chest.

“Hm?” 

“Do you think you can grab me some sour candy from the concessions? I totally forgot to grab them when we were there. Like, I can’t watch a movie without them.” Your lips jutted out into a convincing pout. 

“Yeah sure, of course.” The blonde jogged down the sides and out the door just as Maia bent over the back of her seat and hurdled onto your row. 

“Okay Black Widow, way to stay under the radar,” you commented on her ungraceful maneuver as she fished out a small bottle from her jacket pocket. 

“What? This makes me feel like I’m in Mission Impossible. We’re basically spies now.” She popped open the cap and sprinkled some powder into JJ’s drink. 

“Wait, what’s in that again?”

Maia smirked. “Oh, just a little... surprise for our favorite fuck boy. Just steer clear of him in like thirty minutes.” 

She quickly flipped back over the row just as JJ’s bright yellow hair popped back into the theatre with your sweets. Your palms were sweating in anticipation.

Throughout the movie, JJ’s hands roamed your body as you obliviously munched on the candy. He constantly kissed on your neck and told you how cute you were, earning glares and shushes from the people around you. 

After about thirty minutes, you noticed his leg restlessly fidgeting up and down.  

“Are you okay?” you whispered, leaning away from him. 

“Y-Yeah, j-just-” 

His eyes all but darted out his face. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost. “Oh fuck.” 

Instantly, he charged out the room at an inhuman pace while the quad in front of you erupted in laughter just as an important character died on screen. 

“Guys, what the hell did you put in his drink?” you rasped, leaning over. 

“Oh you know,” Annalise responded through her snickers, “Just a nice little laxative.”  

-------------------------------

note: more sabotage to come ;) also pls message me if you want to be tagged

chapter 5

tags: @obxlife @rudyypankow @yeehaw87 @ilymarkchan @jellyfishbeansontoast @tangledinsparkles @toloveortobeinlove @pixelated-pogues @normatural @teamnick @drizzlethatfalls @hazelgirl355 @wicked-laugh @jjmaybankswife @ponyboys-sunsets @5am-cigarette @everydayimfangirling @angvelics @poguecollins @xealia @floridabornandraised @girlsru1eboysdroo1 @booksandshish @apoguecalledjj @bananasfromtarget @lulbabes @arthiriticcricket @lasnaro @aaleksmorozova​ @himarisolace​ @obxmxybxnk​ @lopineapples​ @x-lulu​

[chalkrevelations]

Episode 32 of Word of Honor, and once again, this is just. A LOT. A LOT is happening, and all of it is A LOT. Also, show, what is even happening? I have questions. A LOT of questions.

(Spoilers. Go ahead and scroll on by, then come back later, if you want to watch it unspoiled.)

BUT FIRST, before anything else, you know I have to yell about this for a minute because we once again see that the Gu Xiang/Cao Weining relationship and the Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou relationship are the same relationship. We get the same scene with A-Xiang and Cao Weining – again – that we’ve already seen with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu, this time from Ep 27, with Fan Shishu in the role of Ye Baiyi. Fan Shishu (YBY) asks “Do you know who she (he) is?” and this time, Cao Weining knows, just as ZZS knew in Ep 27. Cao Weining (ZZS) literally throws himself in front of A-Xiang (WKX) to protect her (him). “Kill us both” (Ep 27). “If you’re going to hurt her, kill me first” (Ep 32). Fan Shishu, like YBY, eventually lets A-Xiang and Cao Weining go, despite having them in a position where he could do them in. Color palettes between the two couples in these scenes match again, with the younger couple being more intense this time – A-Xiang and Wen Kexing in pinks, Cao Weining and Zhou Zishu in blue. (ZZS is mainly in creams and grey, but the piping on his robes is a very light blue, I think the greys have a blue undertone to them, and when you stand him next to Chengling in more intense blue while he’s wearing that particular outfit, it really starts to pull out the blue of ZZS’s outside robe – you can see this at the end of Ep 26.) Between the way these relationships continue to mirror each other and the hairpin scene from the last ep, I honestly don’t know what our takeaway is supposed to be, other than that WKX and ZZS are essentially married.

I also find it interesting - although this almost seems like too much of a stretch to be anything other than coincidence - that we get a specific callback to Ep 27 in this episode, as Ep 27 is also when WKX talks about not wanting to lie to Chengling about who he is anymore, and this ep is when they finally (apparently) meet again after Chengling learns the truth.

Aaaand now A-Xiang is crying, so of course I’m crying. Aaaand then we have the mournful montage. Give me a minute. And some tissues. I notice how much of this mournful drunken montage is ZZS remembering all the times he was cranky with WKX. Oh, honey. No. That’s what you’re remembering, because you feel bad, but it’s not what he would remember at all, if he was looking back over his time with you. And even if he did, it would be with great fondness.

Yeah, so, if I haven’t mentioned, this episode is a LOT. We get a big confrontation between WKX and half the jianghu/the Scorpions/some of the Ghost Valley contingent, ZZS showing up to support his man, Fantastic Cranky Grandpa of my heart getting in his eleven cents, Chengling shooting one of his dads, and two yeets off a cliff. And that’s only 15 minutes into the episode. This is too much, show. And I have too many questions. Also some observations. Also some wild speculation, not just about the fact that Wen Kexing is not dead but also about how he may have (not) got that way. And not just because there’s still four episodes left, and it’s too early for him to be dead.

First a small observation but pretty significant, I think: WKX is NOT in his blood-red Ghost Valley master robes during this confrontation. In fact, I think we’ve seen this set of robes in happier days with Zhou Zishou and Chengling. Just noticing this. Also noticing WKX’s face when Shen Shen starts going on about WKX’s parents and how omg if they could see WKX now they’d die all over from the shame, and WKX’S expression is like, the fucking audacity of Shen Shen saying this, and if he could actually kill people with the power of his mind, Shen Shen would be twitching and frothing on the ground. Also noticing the complete change when WKX sees Chengling – it’s like Shen Shen ceases to even exist for him. Gong Jun, your face, it’s killing me. Anyway, I’m going to start wildly speculating here for a minute, because WKX is willing to let Chengling kill him, because he’s so tired and wants to stop fighting, but he’s going to kick everyone else’s ass who even tries it? And then Chengling is actually the one who shoots him and yeets him off the cliff? Is this a set up? Is Chengling in on this? Is he the one who’s supposed to “kill” WKX? If so, at what point did we get Chengling in on this? And who did it? Did Chengling send what’s his name, Jing Beiyuan’s guard, away on purpose at this particular point, because he knew ZZS would show up in time for this confrontation if he heard about Chengling’s reaction to the news about WKX? And do I actually believe Chengling is smart enough – and a good enough actor – to pull off any of this? (Look, I love our little goldbean plenty, but let’s face it, he’s not the brightest kid running around here.)

Also, my dudes. My clever little killers. Xie Wang and Wen Kexing. I am unwilling to believe that you two aren’t somehow still together on this in some way in order to fuck over Awful Yifu. Your antagonistic back and forth seems a little bit like playing roles. Xie Wang gives Awful Yifu a weird side-eye a few times when Awful Yifu talks about how tricksy and cunning WKX is, like maybe he’s reconsidering, and do not tell me you’re questioning and reconsidering whatever deal you’ve made with WKX, little gambler. Why does your Awful Yifu’s bs always work on you? This is really not the time to roll the dice again. I’m assuming A-Xiang is still the only one who knows about their tete-a-tete? If so, this is a side-take I never would have expected on “you don’t fail me, and I won’t fail you.” Honor among thieves? Stick to the plan, Xie’er, whatever the hell it is. Do not blink.

So then, Ye Baiyi shows up, and my immediate reaction is NO. My beloved cranky grandpa, don’t fuck this up, because whatever is going on seems to already have a lot of moving parts with a lot of places for things to go wrong! But … are you in on it, too? Have YOU coordinated with Chengling? (If so, maybe you should have warned him to expect ZZS’s wild-card self-yeet over the cliff’s edge, since you’ve already seen how self-destructive self-sacrificing these two can get over each other.) Making me even more suspicious, Ye Baiyi later proceeds to walk out of a banquet before even eating anything. This guy is walking away from food? There is no clearer sign in this ep that something is up.

Also, while we’re on the banquets, listen. I cannot be the only one who wants to punch Zhao Jing in the face during his interminable yapping during both post-fight banquets. This is one of those places where the show and the actor have done their job too well, because he is so dislikeable and so off-putting that I almost can’t bear to actually watch him. And yet, I can’t fast-forward, because what if I miss some info? Like the fact that … you know, I went back to watch this bit three times, and that is a very … interesting series of camera shots during the second banquet - after the toasts, just as a couple of randoms start advocating for Zhao Jing as head of the Five Lakes Alliance, and we move from Xie’er to Shen Shen to Chengling, all of them still standing, facing Zhao Jing after their individual toasts, all of them in a formation that’s almost caging him in from the front and both sides. It gets more interesting every time I watch it. Is … is Shen Shen also in on this, somehow?

See, I know that is a lot of wild speculation. I know Wen Kexing got yeeted off a cliff, and Ye Baiyi was busy catching Zhou Zishu. And we saw a body. And ZZS set that body on fire. But I also know that Liu Qianqiao was the person holding vigil outside the shed where the body was being held. And I know she’s the other person, besides ZZS, who we know of that knows the facemask disguise technique (in fact, didn’t she learn it from ZZS’s shifu?) We actually get reminded of this later on in this very episode. Which makes me wonder if that was actually WKX’s body, or somebody else, in the shed. Who “found” that body and recovered it? Was it a Scorpion or one of the Ghost Valley contingent? Also, where’s that key WKX was waving around, and why does no one seem to remember it?

 Other things:

lol at A-Xiang’s reaction to Jing Beiyun talking about how ZZS used to ask him to set ZZS up with girls. Further lol at Jing Beiyuan, “And funny enough, he was NEVER interested in them. Welp, time for another drink!” Seriously, Qi Ye, we like you, you can absolutely stay.

Still at the banquets, Xie Wang seems discombobulated during a lot of this. And then when Awful Yifu calls him Zhao Xie’er in front of everybody, holy shit, he’s getting everything he ever wanted. Xie’er, you … you’re not going to fall for this again, are you? Please tell me you are not falling for this again, at what is likely a crucial moment. This is NO TIME to take another roll of the dice, little gambler. Stick with the plan, whatever the hell it is.

Oh, hey! Are we finally getting some backstory on Fantastic Cranky Grandpa? Oh. OH. “Our child?” What is up, my friend? (I did go back to Ep 16, when WKX calls Chengling “my child” while defending him against Ye Baiyi, and looking at the Mandarin subtitles, I can’t entirely figure out (with my Level 2 Duolingo Mandarin) all of the nuances of these two references, but it doesn’t look like they’re using the same words to describe these relationships.) So some further wild speculation: Apparently, Cranky Grandpa Fantastico is solitary drinking in the dark instead of feasting at the banquet, over someone who (he feels) foolishly wanted to save the lost souls in the Ghost Valley? And now he feels like fate is making fun of him? And he’s asking Dead Beloved what he would do in Ye Baiyi’s position? Ye Baiyi, is it possible that fate is making fun of you because you have found yourself in the position of saving a lost soul from the Ghost Valley? Also, Ye Baiyi, I’ve noticed the children have been turning you grey. I don’t think you had that grey streak when you showed up for the first Hero’s Conference, did you? In fact, I feel like you got offended when WKX talked shit about possible grey hairs on your head. 

Duan Pengju, this asshole, omg … OMG. Well. I guess you got your confirmation, Xie’er. Were you really considering rolling the dice again? AT THIS POINT?

[the-dimitrescu-seamstress]

Twelve Yards of Floral Damask - One Shot

(Mun here. I was quiet for the most part of last night, but after Nicole Tompkins stream, a fire was lit under me and I finished a drabble I had been working on ever since I saw that one portrait of Lady Dimitrescu. 

Below is a one-shot I wrote, one of many I have planned. Magdalena Petran is my OC, while Lady Alcina Dimitrescu belongs to Capcom. I hope you enjoy it.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The castle was immense and, if Magda had to admit it, a bit intimidating. It was rather easy to get yourself turned around in the hallways, or initially forget which door led to where off of the interior courtyard. The servants that were around, and willing to speak to her, advised the seamstress that, in order to make life in the castle easier for her, she had better learn the layout as best she could and as quickly as she could.

That was a task easier said than done. She felt safe in her part of the castle, even if safe was only a relative term. If she took a wrong turn or opened the wrong door, she could easily end up in a place where she would not return from. She was well aware of the screams that would echo throughout the castle. Sometimes they came from the direction of the family’s private chambers, but more often they would crawl up from the castle depths. Either way, Magda never wanted her voice to join them.

But, if she was so afraid, why was she quietly walking the halls this late at night? The simple answer was that the servants were right. She needed to learn how to navigate this world; both the physical and the social aspects. That meant she needed to learn all she could about the castle and its inhabitants. Repairing garments they were used to could only get you so far. Anyone could mend a seam or stitch a button, but Magda needed to make sure she was invaluable. The Countess seemed pleased with her work so far, but she had yet to entrust her with creating anything new. She needed to change that.

The other reason Magda was using the late hour to do her self-guided tour was that there were less people around. Most of the servants were already in bed, and she had picked a night that the girls were out on a hunt. The last thing Magda needed was for them to stalk her through the castle for fun. Their laughter in the dark was unsettling.

The lack of individuals also allowed her to take her time on examining the various portraits, busts, and ceramics that were thoroughly scattered throughout the place. She tried to piece together how old Lady Dimitrescu was by the decor, but there were items from across many time periods, keeping Magda from placing an exact age on the woman. The daughters could have been from the mid-1800’s, if the portrait in the Entrance Hall was any indication, but all she knew of the Countess was that she either had lived for many centuries or she was a collector of fine antiques and enjoyed living in great opulence.

The seamstress stood at the top of the stairs in the Main Hall, mentally mapping out the areas through the doorways around her. “That way to the Hall of the Four… Left and to the left again for the Entrance Hall, Carriage Gate, and the decrepit elevator of death. Though all this is a circle as well. Door to the right in the Hall of the Four leads to…” Magda didn’t complete that sentence, but through that door was the receiving room where she… where she became an employee of the castle. That would be a place to avoid for a while. Taking a breath and ignoring the brief ache of her left wrist, she continued.

“Dining Room below, and through to the left is the kitchen, while straight ahead is the courtyard. Once in the courtyard, to the right is the private chambers of Lady Dimitrescu. To the left is the Opera House, and my workspace.” To think that this castle had its own opera house. Yes, it was small, but still incredible to be in. With the bottom floor mostly mapped in her head, Magda began to walk the second floor. Here were the doors to the dressing and sitting rooms, as well as the Wine Room. Knowing that, she turned away from the dressing rooms and quietly went through the doors opposite.

The statue in front of her was large, unexpected, and the subject matter was really almost clichéd. Magda thought vampires were only supposed to have decadent art pieces of the sacrificial sort in works of fiction, and yet here was one being displayed before her. Perhaps it was a family heirloom or a macabre wedding gift. Either way, she decidedly turn her attention from it and continued on her exploration.

Light bled into the hallway from the room to the left, its door partially closed, and there were slight sounds of movement coming from within. Curiosity overcame self-preservation as Magda slowly crept forward, barely breathing in order to be as quiet as possible. Naturally, her careful steps found the one floorboard that squeaked under her weight, causing her to freeze in place and wait.

“To whomever is lingering in the hall, your eavesdropping presence has been noticed and it is not appreciated. Announce yourself before I lose my patience.” Magda closed her eyes and mouthed a silent curse as the voice of Alcina Dimitrescu sounded from within the room.

“It’s… It’s Magdalena Petran, ma’am. Your seamstress?” she replied nervously, before realizing how stupid she sounded. As if there was another Magdalena working here. There was a tense silence before it was broken by a simple command.

“Enter.”

Knowing better than to make her wait, Magda obeyed and quickly entered the room.

She had expected it to be a private study, but instead she found the room to be a simple art studio. No, simple wasn’t the right word. While it lacked the gilded decor of the rest of the castle, the ceiling was high and vaulted, complete with a skylight to let plenty of natural sunlight in during the day. Its simplistic appearance was only due to how older looking, more worn, and used everything was. The darker woodwork and wallpaper contributed to the effect as well. The floor lacked polish and uniformity in board shape and coloring. The few pieces of furniture and large quantities of books were all pushed against the walls, leaving plenty of room for a canvas and easel to sit in the center of the room. This was a place of work. Lady Dimitrescu, clad in an artist’s smock and with brush and palette in hand, gazed down at Magda in her usual authoritative fashion.

“What is your reason for wandering the halls of my castle at such a late hour, Miss Petran? I doubt that you are looking for clothing to repair.”

“I was looking...” she stopped and quickly corrected herself. “I was learning to find my way around the castle. It’s a large estate and I’d rather not get lost or open the wrong door.” Or get eaten, she thought.

“Could you not do this during the day?”

“I didn’t want to get in anyone’s way, mistress. I thought if I did it at night, most of the servants would be asleep, your daughters would be out hunting or otherwise occupied, and you would be…” Magda’s voice died in her throat as she looked down, not quite sure of what to say next.

“You thought I would be secreted away in my private chambers, busying myself with whatever womanly duties a lady of the house tended to do late at night. Is that it? Look at me when I am talking to you.” Magda’s head immediately snapped upward, fear likely showing in her eyes since an amused little smile, one with an edge to it, crept across Lady Dimitrescu’s deep red lips.

“Ma’am, I would never do something like that or presume anything about your nightly activities. I was not prowling or sneaking around. I was just exploring and figuring things out and I saw the light, so I came to look and then… I’m sorry, Mistress. I honestly didn’t mean to intrude.” The taller woman watched Magda for a long while, yellow eyes boring into her unwaveringly, before turning her attention back on the unfinished painting.

“Which is it?” she asked in a clipped manner, adding a few minute details to the wings of the angel depicted on her canvas.

“I beg your pardon?” Magda replied, confused.

“Throughout this entire conversation, you have used both ‘ma’am’ and ‘mistress’ when addressing me. Are you unable to make up your mind, child? Pick one or the other.” A few more brush strokes. “Now, which is it?” Magda was a bit lost. She didn’t know if this was a test or if she was simply making a mistake that needed to be corrected. Not knowing which was the better option, she went for a third choice.

“…Countess?” At that, the other woman paused and slowly turned to look at Magda once more, yellow eyes once again locked onto her, but this time her gaze was one of appraisal rather than judgement. This time her smile was one of satisfaction, as if saying ‘well, the mortal can be taught’. She then returned to her painting, the tension in the room having dissipated. However, Magda did note that she had not dismissed her. Whether this was another test, or the woman just enjoyed toying with her, she couldn’t say.

Rather than run the risk of spoiling the mood or the Countess’ artist moment, Magda took the time to quietly look around the room, taking in details she had previously missed; the large stuffed snapping turtles, the bell tower gears seen through the windows, and the immense portrait hanging in a ornate wood frame on the far wall.

You would think missing something like that upon entering would have been impossible, but then again, the subject in the painting was initially blocked by a living being of the exact same size. Now Magda could see it clearly, and it was gorgeous. It was the Countess, but perhaps a little younger. She still had a pink flush to her skin, still had life in her. No, that was wrong. Lady Dimitrescu ate, drank, and breathed like everyone else, but there was a difference that Magda couldn’t quite place.

The dress she wore was exquisite, and Magda took an unintended step forward before stopping herself. The Countess didn’t seem to have noticed, but she still decided to play it safe.

“Countess? That portrait… it’s you, isn’t it?”

“It is,” she replied with an amused half chuckle. “Unless you are aware of another woman of my stature.” She was clearly enjoying this. Good. Better an amused Countess than a wrathful one.

“May I take a closer look?” A gentle, almost absentminded, shooing motion with one hand was all the response that was given, but Magda took it as a yes, quickly walking over.

Up close, it was even more impressive that she originally thought. She had always been impressed by how artists managed to convey fabric and textures with simple strokes from a paintbrush. There were even minute wrinkles in the skirt. It was beautiful, absolutely stunning. Magda’s gaze hungrily devoured every detail she saw of this garment. At first she thought the fabric was a brocade, and from her initial distance, the mistake could be understood. The print was the proper size and detail for the material, but brocade would have been too heavy or stiff to have the folds of the skirt lay as they did.

“Floral damask?” she asked eagerly, not even thinking that she had just blurted out something in an otherwise quiet room.

“What?” came the terse response.

“The fabric, it’s a floral damask, isn’t it? Sterling gray and white.” Not even waiting for a confirmation, she went back to her examination. Too low a neckline for Victorian, also wrong hairstyle for the time. Late Victorian perhaps? Edwardian? That would make sense. At least she had a decade to work with, but Edwardian fashion changed every year of that decade. Either way, her mind was already clicking, and the desire to make or even see this garment had nestled itself thoroughly into her psyche, digging its damned little claws into her. Magda was like this when she saw a piece of clothing that intrigued her, flaming an odd passion inside of her. There was no way she would let this go so easily.

“Does the gown still exist?” she asked, turning around and looking unexpectedly at the Countess, who was now standing directly behind her. For a woman her size, it was unnerving how quietly she could move if she wished to.

“It intrigues you, doesn’t it?”

“I… If I can… I would love to make this. It’s twelve yards, at least, if that was when… if you were…” The Countess’ eyebrow quirked a little, and Magda immediately changed her wording, knowing it was a very bad idea to mention sizes, especially to her. “Historically, at least twelve yards of fabric would be needed for a Late Victorian or Edwardian dress like that. If… Countess, I know you think I’m babbling, but I believe I can recreate this gown for you. Please. I know I can.”

“Whether you can or cannot is not the issue, Miss Petran. The hour is late and I would rather not hear you prattle on about fabric or garments that have not been worn in quite some time. I believe I have indulged you for long enough. I suggest you retire back to your quarters for the night before you find yourself anywhere else in this castle.” It wasn’t quite a threat, but there was an edge to it, and the seamstress knew better than to test that edge.

“Yes, Countess,” she replied, giving her a bow before heading for the door, her mind still processing the gown.

“And Magdalena?” Magda froze upon hearing her first name spoken, a chill running down her spine. Why the sudden name change? Had she done something wrong? She was at the door, she could have simply continued on, feigning ignorance. But instead, she turned around, ready to face whatever faux pas she had unwittingly done. Alcina was still at the portrait, back to her.

“Yes, Countess?”

“Three days from now, I would like a tailoring session. Mid-afternoon. That is all.” It was good that she could not see Magda’s face, as her jaw went slack and she stared. Three days. She had three days to  ready and prove herself. The workshop wasn’t a mess, per se, but she knew she could make it better for her visit.

“Yes, Countess. Absolutely.” Another bow, and she was gone. Magda may have just made herself useful.

[certainempatheticturkeymuffin]

Age of Calamity Review

Hey! I wasted three hours of my life writing this in Arlo's comment section and part of it had to be cut out because of Youtube's word limit, so y'all get to suffer with me.

Here's the video that I wrote this on, give him some love, his opinion is a great juxtaposition to my own!

There are a few weird formatting errors because tumblr wants me to make new paragraphs, but there's no missing words as far as I can tell.

_

I like it, but I like the first one better, mainly for the appearance. I don't know why, but the pop ups are hard for me to see (by pop-ups I mean the challenges and weak point meters, the out of battle menu is actually pretty good, though I admit the text is a little small on the opening screen), and the lack of saturation makes it hard for me to see. Actually, that might be it, I just don't like the paler color palette in this context, since for a fast paced game I kind of need to be able to see, which I can't because I'm partially blind, and glasses have a glare that's an annoying trade off. Compare that to the original Hyrule Warriors, the weak point meters are brightly colored and change color the more you damage it, which is good for those with visual impairment who need some extra feedback to judge their next actions. The menu was also this aged tan color which provided a great contrast that wasn't the blinding white on top of dark blue, which wasn't bad at all, but the buttons and text were always big enough for those with visual impairment to see, though I will admit that the little pop ups with all the people crying out for help have a bit of the same issue as AoC. I think I just like the more vibrant colors of Hyrule Warriors in the context of a faster game, rather than the pale beauty of BotW, since my eyes can't really see what's going on if the colors aren't at least comparable to what you'd find in Minish Cap or Triforce Heroes. I can see fine in BotW during the day time, but at night, well, I just run and hope for the best, trying not to get killed by an electric keese, which is also a problem in AoC, mainly Zora's Domain; I could barely see a thing and it negatively impacted my experience.

I've got hundreds of hours in HW, and maybe five or ten in AoC. It's mainly because I just don't like how it looks. I've heard a lot of people say that it looks pretty much exactly like botw and...I have to disagree. A lot of areas are pretty perfect, but some, like the tower, are just a little off in a way I can't describe. That's a personal irrelevant nitpick though, but it negatively impacted my experience, so I thought it was worth a mention, the tower on the opening screen always annoyed the crap out of me, every time I see it I just want to exit the game because ew.

The gameplay is fine, and thank goodness for the addition of the meditation room, there's not a feature like that in the original, so I had to play the first stage over and over again to figure out new combos, I think Mipha is my favorite hero that I actually unlocked (though I've been wanting to play more just to see if I can control Revali and Teba like I can Fi (which makes her insanely good since her wide area of movement is the only thing you need to account for)), and I think Zelda is my least favorite, since she's a little clunky for my taste (Daruk is too, but his rolling makes that more bearable). I was a little disappointed with Impa, but her seal thing is kinda like Zelda's and Fi's thing in Hyrule Warriors (there are probably stronger connections, but I'm not experienced with every single hero), and I think it was just the hype that she got. She's not the type of character I like to play, since Zelda and Fi are my favorites, speedy and nimble area clearers (Sheik and Marin are cool too, I just have less experience using Marin, and Sheik is always a B pick since I find them a little harder to control with less area of impact), which meant that Mipha, a character I admittedly was never attached to, became one of my favorites in the game. Impa wasn't an area clearer for the most part, she had a few moves that could do that, but she was mainly a boss-killer to me, Mipha though? She's great, set up a few waterspouts and everything dies.

I do like that they've lessened the kind of ridiculous amount of items that were in HW, and that they didn't try to strong arm fairies in, because that system was the most annoying thing in the world and so poorly explained that I had to watch the same tutorial three times over about once a month because it was so convoluted.

I do hate the runes though, I just, couldn't seem to use them right. It might just be me, but I found trying to use them weird. It's a little hard to explain, but it's probably just a me thing. Not only that, but I found the inclusion of the rods on top of the runes annoying. The rods were entirely unnecessary if you were going to use runes. They just added another layer that was thin at best, not to mention that I found them hard to use as well. I hated the weird controls of the targeting system. I don't think there's anything wrong with a basic hack and slash, and if you're not going to have the excessive amount of items, runes were a good idea i think it might've been a me issue, but rods? It seems a bit excessive. It's probably just a "you'll get better with practice" kind of thing, which, fair, most people can't use Fi like I can, so that makes sense. I figured it was worth a mention anyway since the runes were a constant source of annoyance and I used the rods twice before never bothering again because I hated them so much.

I do like the addition of healing from food drops whenever you want though. In the original if there was a dropped heart but you were at full health, sucked to be you, going back for it when you need it would waste time. The plot is still as weird as ever though (from what I've heard from other videos and such), which is fine, since I tend to play my favorite levels over and over rather than actually do anything plot relevant (can you believe that it took me over a year to finish the story of HW because I kept getting distracted by letting Fi and Zelda mow down everything in the Adventure maps and challenges? I literally got the boomerang like six months after

getting the game. It's perfect for people with ADHD I swear) though I am extremely disappointed with the fact that they took the cheap way out, it's a kid's game and a nintendo game, what did I expect? For them to let everyone actually die? Nope...though honestly, I can't comment on the overall amazingness of the plot they went with because...er....I only did Mipha's and Daruk's stages before just losing interest, so I'm not the person you want to ask about any story criticism, because that would be pure conjecture and utterly pointless.

The customization of heroes, now that's great. It's a weird system that I needed to google a lot for, but it's absolutely brilliant and I love it. Sure, getting the specific seals I want is a little annoying, but it's a great mechanic and I love it.

I probably should've said this earlier, but I'm comparing it mainly to Hyrule Warriors rather than BotW because AoC's a Warriors game and thus plays more like Hyrule Warriors than BotW, and BotW has a different set of standards due to being an open-world game. I'm still salty about the plot though, so I guess there's your comparison.

Also, I absolutely ADORE the fact that you can track materials. Not having to google which stage gives me which material is just the best. And the fact that the side quests have little blurbs, absolutely fantastic. We didn't get that in HW, but then again, once you finished the main story, the rest was just, Have Fun and Kill Everything, which is great, and I love it, but adding in a weird ingredient fetching quest with a nugget of lore is kinda cool. I don't wish we got it in HW though, since, as aforementioned, there was no way to track which material came from which stage, so that would've made it a nightmare.

The Divine Beasts....I hated them, they were literally just time wasters, and, granted I only did Rudania and Ruta before dropping the game, I just hated them. The UI was horrendous and even Ganon's Fury was better, and I absolutely DESPISE Ganon's Fury. Once I finished them, I was just happy for them to be over and never bother with them again. I hated their controls, I hated the cramped paths, I hated how I couldn't really turn and see anything, and honestly, I commend the champions for being able to control these bulky slow and absolutely horrible machines.

On the music, I think it's good. I loved BotW's soundtrack, I loved Zelda 2's soundtrack, I loved Wind Waker's soundtrack, I loved Cadence of Hyrule's soundtrack, I loved Hyrule Warriors's soundtrack, I loved Minish Cap's soundtrack, Triforce Heroes, Spirit Tracks (you're lying if you say otherwise, this soundtrack is a bop and I will actually fight you), etc etc, and this one is no different, though I will admit it did a pretty good job of having me ignore it, though that may have been more due to my frustration at the rods and runes and Zelda and Daruk more than actually having an unimpressive soundtrack.

Personally, it didn't do much for me, I can't get over the color palette, the mechanics, the divine beasts. I had pretty average, maybe a bit high, expectations, but they weren't quite met. I played it for a few hours one day, dropped it, picked it up again a few months later, then remembered exactly why I dropped it. I think the original Hyrule Warriors is just better visually for me, even if the plot isn't great or it's a bit fanfictiony, it had depth in combat that didn't absolutely annoy me, and the annoying battles were usually optional, and the bosses had variety, which is a fault mainly of BotW and was just an inherited problem for AoC, and I'm not a completionist, I don't want to have to complete anything with Darunia or Cia, so I don't unless I have to to progress something, which means that I don't stress about the gargantuan amount of content in HW.

IN SUMMARY: I've never had problems with frame rate (though I play docked due to visual impairment), and if you're visually impaired, wear anti-glare glasses because the pale colors aren't going to help much. I haven't found an option to make text bigger. The soundtrack is good,

there isn't much boss variety (not AoC's fault, but it's still there), the meditation room is great, the runes take a bit of getting used to, as do the rods(i never got used to them), Divine Beasts tank performance in all aspects and are just disappointing, you actually know which stage drops which item, and there's no My Fairy (which is definitely a positive).

To slap on an arbitrary rating that only means something to me: 4.5/10

It's a good game if you can get passed the issues that bug ME to no end.

And there we have it. There goes....holy crap I spent three hours on

I wanted to like this, I really did, and I'm glad others enjoy it, but as it stands, I'll let y'all move on to Age of Calamity, and I'll stick to my handy dandy Hyrule Warriors ice cream with a dash of Breath of the Wild, a sprinkle of Cadence of Hyrule, and a Zelda 2 cherry on top. It's not like I have to wait long for Subnautica; hopefully that doesn't disappoint me too much, I preordered this one. Actually, I get Pokemon Snap today too, hopefully it isn't a SwSh level disappointment, AoC is magnitudes better than SwSh at a 4.5

this????? Three hours of my life. Gone.

[analyzingadventure]

Psi episode 7, JYOOOOOOOOO

I wonder, how many “days” has passed on the Digital World so far? Like has everything that has happened so far taken place during the same day (are there even nights in this DW?) or have multiple days already passed? I mean I guess not (for Taichi and Sora) since in the last episode they did just figure out the time difference between the worlds and all...    IDK I’m just wondering since part of Adventure’s charm was like the whole survival aspect where the kids had to find food and a safe place to sleep each night to survive and Psi seems to be cutting out the hard stuff to seem more fantastical and fun (and less serious/scary for kids) but honestly I think it just makes Psi feel flatter and ironically enough, more boring... But who knows, maybe we’re still on Day 1 in the DW and we’ll see them acknowledge stuff like finding a safe place to sleep later (my memory is failing me lol but I think Sora had a huge supply of food on her in her episode so I’m not too bothered with the whole finding food thing)

ANYWAYS WHERE IS JYOU

GOMAMON, FUCK YEAH!!

Gomamon is like... somehow extra cute in this episode... So far... IDK I’m in love a little, what a smart baby, knowing who the Chosen are and all

MOM YAGAMI! HIKARI!!!

The power went out but the TV stayed on lmao (I know Mom complained it was just the microwave oven but the lights went out too)

Jyou, hard at studying as always... What a responsible child

Kiriha’s VA is such a good new voice for Jyou, he’s so perfect, like out of the entire recast he’s probably the best one

Musako Elementary School? RIP Odaiba Elementary School

DOES JYOU KNOW LIKE MARTIAL ARTS OR SOMETHING THIS IS AMAZING

Poor Jyou is so stressed out... ;__; (Also his episode was a bit weird and sudden but okay)

GOMAMON NOOOOOOO, BABY ;_____; TAICHI GIVE HIM A HUG, AGUMON TOO, EVERYONE GIVE GOMAMON A GROUP HUG

(Okay but this has bothered me since like forever with pretty much every entry in the series where the Digimon only have relationships and interactions with their own partners but they never develop relationships or even really interact with other Chosen/partners, and like, with Adventure/Psi I can kinda forgive it since they already have like a massive cast so figuring out the relationships all 16 characters have with each other is an absolute nightmare to figure out, but still like. I’ve never liked this part of the franchise, I wish the Digimon weren’t just a weird extension of their partners who cared about nothing else but their Chosen)

BTW I like the tiny white specks that’re scattered around the backgrounds, it kinda evokes that watercolor-esque aesthetic of Adventure and it’s backgrounds and the white specks it had but without being as hyper stylized. IDK it’s just nice

Speaking of backgrounds, did the painter forget to hide their color palette before sending the finished painting? What’re those lines on the left lmao

GOMAMON NOOOOO

My fear that Toei may have splurged their entire budget on the Greymon evolution sequence and now don’t have the money to make evolution sequences for the remaining characters is definitely starting to creep in

LET’S GO IKKAKUMON!!

Ooooh, could Ikkakumon carry the crew over the oceaN YES didn’t even finish the sentence lmao

Next episode preview let’s gooo boys

While the ads play, don’t have much to say about this episode tbh, it was more or less like all the previous episodes. It was nice and fun and cute but nothing much beyond that, but the good news is that this story arc is slowly coming to a close, as all we really need is to have Koushirou group up with the rest and Yamato to join the party as well

Definitely curious where the story is going now that this arc is coming to a close, are we gonna get to see Devimon finally? ALSO WHERE IS ORGEMON, MY BABY

Oh the preview says they group up in the next episode, COOL I thought this was gonna take another 2-3 episodes knowing what Yamato is like lmao

[muthaz-rapapa]

Categorizing Precure by Elements

As if the world needs more proof that I take “having fun” too seriously or, or that I spend way too much time on these little “projects” of mine where the logic behind them would confuse the hell out of anyone who dares to look at it and frankly, only makes the most sense to me anyway even though I’m just as confused

...wEll GueSs wUt i Did iT anYwAY nYAAHAaaRHaaHAaArR (/●◔∀◐●)/

...craziness aside, title’s pretty self-explanatory, yea?

Note: This post will be continually updated w/new Cure additions and seasons.

Cut for length...

Some notes before you scroll down:

Only main Cures are listed. Therefore, no last minute Cures, no movie-exclusive Cures, etc.

The “element” aspect is based on their individual concepts and attacks (in more vague cases, interpretations of their attacks).

Sub-tiers - Primarily there to include (some of) the Form Changes. In other words, it’s just a personal preference so you don’t have to think too much on it if you feel they don’t belong. As far as this post is concerned, Form Changes are always secondary.

Differences between 2nd tier and 3rd tier - Simplest explanation(s) I can give for this:

2nd tiers are reserved for Form Changes where the element is, more or less, shown explicitly to have significant meaning for its respective form (ex. MahoPre’s Ruby Style - flames representing “passion”)

2nd tiers are for Form Changes that have at least some sort of connection to the story and/or the Cures’ main forms (ex. Egret’s power derives from the sky, Windy’s power comes from the wind = sharing similar narrative veins)

3rd tiers are for Form Changes whose appearances are very limited to just their attacks and have little to no bearing on the grand scheme of things in their respective seasons

Again, I made this for fun but I still thought everything out on my own. Please don’t think I should be obligated to change it w/o good reason, thx.

I really wracked my brains on those sub-tiers especially and it gets even more confusing because I don’t include all Form Changes (like Go!Pri’s) but I’ll explain if anyone does have questions about those so...

Light - No surprise that a large majority of the Cures’ attacks are in this category. Even seasons like Suite, whose concept revolves entirely around music (so there’s an absence of “substance” element) falls here because tbh, they really can’t fit anywhere else.

I feel like I need to explain about Yell, though. The reason she’s not put under the “Earth/Plant” category is that though she has the flower motif as part of her design, her powers are not derived from the Earth itself. “Heart for You” and “Flower Shoot” are light-based, not flower or plant-based.

I just want to keep the integrity of these classifications as much as possible, that’s all.

However, under my “Symbols” chart (here), she definitely is listed there under “Flowers” so that more or less balances things out, I hope.

As for Bright, I haven’t watched Splash Star but I heard enough about it to know she belongs in the 2nd tier. I don’t know if Bright’s form is shown a lot outside of stock footage (same goes for Windy) but even so, I don’t think I made the wrong judgement.

Dark - Not “dark” as in “evil” but “dark” as in dark-colored theme.

Which, notably, only Black qualifies for.

Yea, yea, I know she represents the light, it’s just that her light is colored black to go with White’s white light, yada yada yada. That’s why “Dark” and “Light” are put together.

But still hoping somewhere in the future we can have more Cures with a darker visual palette so Black won’t be so lonely by herself. :(

Fire - When you take out the sub-tiers, we really don’t have that many legitimate Fire Cures, huh?

Anyways, as I was re-watching the stock footage while organizing this, I noticed that Cherry Flamenco has more flame effects in her attacks than Ruby Passionale does as a finisher.

But still, Cherry Flamenco’s purpose is only to deal out attacks. Ruby, on the other hand, makes up one of the four major powers granted to Miracle and Magical by Mother Rapapa, the lore and figure of good behind MahoPre, which is why they have the whole rotation of forms in the first place. So technically, it and Sapphire and Topaz all have equal value to Diamond as far as the story goes.

But for the sake of less confusion not to mention curbing my shameless favoritism of MahoPre, not sorry nope, they’re assigned to 2nd tier.

Water - Not much to say, really. Reasoning behind Fire also applies here.

Oh and btw, HealPre’s images are only temporary though until better art gets released later, I’ll replace them.

Ice - Ice is just another form of water......but it’s too cool (no pun intended) not to be its own separate element so there, hehe~ xD

Besides, we have enough Cures to put in its classification.

Not that it stops me if there’s only one anyway. *glances down the post*

Earth/Plant - Kinda sad that most of these are Flower Cures while only Bloom and Mint (and maybe~ Blossom) actually make any reference to the “soil” or ”terrain” of the earth.

I don’t know why people find that so unappealing, tbh. This element always comes last as opposed to the other more popular ones but I guess that’s the reason why. It’s not “pretty” enough. At least, not for Precure. 

:P

Air/Wind - I need more Air Cures.

Wind, sky, whatever.

I need more of them as much as I need more Green Cures. (<_< ;;)

Lightning/electricity - Severely need more of these, too. Why are there so little of them? Gimme moar biribiri Cures! T_T

Oh, about why Topaz Style is 3rd tier and not 2nd tier.

Well, honestly, I really don’t know what element it plays with (hence, why I put it under “Other” w/KirePre below) but it certainly isn’t lightning.

However, there are some lightning effects shown in Topaz Esperanza so it still fits in this category because of that. *shrug*

Metal -  Milky Rose has the honor of being the only “Cure” (hahaha) to have the double element feature.

Technically, the metal aspect only shows up in “Milky Rose Metal Blizzard” so she should really be placed as a 3rd tier buuut since no one else has this element, she can hog it all to herself. :P

Besides, having a 3rd tier with no 1st tier looks silly anyway.

Other - This is where I place the ones that don’t fit with the aforementioned elements.

I mean, there is a tangible effect with their attacks so of course, I gotta count them.

Even though I never thought “dessert” could count as an element but APPARENTLY IT DOES IN PRECURE!! (⊙ ω ⊙ ;;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update log:

2/27/20 - Post published.

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.

[tiggyloo]

💝

If you could recommend skylanders to others what would be your points of persuasion?

Every game’s starter pack provides the barest essentials to beat the game. You could buy the starter pack and literally nothing else and you could beat the games, it’s only if you want to 100% them where you’ll have to start spending more money

Every single character, of which there are a few hundred (about 350 if you include variants), has a unique walk, run, jump, and attack animation. Every single one. I have literally never seen that before in ANY game. And I can promise you that there are no reused animations in non-custom* characters because I have like, over 200 figures 

*Imaginators reuses animations for player created characters in that each class has its own animations, so two custom characters of the Sentinel class would have the same general animations, but one Sentinel and one Brawler would have their own class specific animations, etc.

The designs of the characters are all really good and unique (even the bad designs are still good) and you can put little hats and trinkets on your characters which is really cute and fun

You only need to buy one Portal for all your games and it’s the Superchargers Portal, it works for every single game, even the very first. Also, if the character existed in an older game your newer gen figure will work in it. Example: my dark Stealth Elf, introduced in the third game, works in the first game as a normal Stealth Elf. Which is good because I have like seven Stealth Elfs. I don’t know why.

Also, on the topic of custom characters, Imaginators has one of the absolute best character creation engines I’ve EVER seen. You can make some awesome looking characters, or some really hilarious ones with proportions fucked to hell and back, all with custom palettes and weapons and armor. And it’s easy to collect the pieces too, you can just run the first level of the game and get most of them pretty quickly 

The music is REALLY GOOD, and it only gets better throughout the games. Kaos’ theme is especially fantastic, here give it a listen (this is s compilation of his theme from all the games) or if you want a shorter one, here’s his theme from Imaginators complete with Dubstep breakdown, or his Trap Team theme, which is pretty fun (and is probably my favorite version of his theme)

Also, all the games are REAL cheap now (like legit the highest they go for usually is like. MAYBE four bucks unless you want Imaginators on Switch), as are most of the figures, so honestly just get them and try ‘em out. Just be sure to grab a Portal too. 

And if you only get ONE game, PLEASE get Superchargers. It’s THE best game out of the series, I had a fucking blast playing it (as I did with all the games but that’s beside the point) and my friend who absolutely despised Skylanders played it with me and he loved every minute of it. 

Or, pick Imaginators if not Superchargers. You can play as Cortex and Crash in Imaginators, or you can make your own characters as I mentioned above once you get some Creation Crystals. For examples of what you can make, here’s just a few of mine:

That’s Pink Lightning (bowslinger), Essence of the Stars (sentinel), Prince Horace III (knight), and Sullivan of Ire (smasher)

You can make custom color palettes or use premades (I always use my own), you can pick their voice, sound effects, etc, mess with sizes and proportions of things, it’s great

And if you get Superchargers on a Nintendo console you can play as Bowser or Donkey Kong which is amazing

anyway it’s like almost 10 PM and I gotta shower, so count yourself lucky because I could go on for HOURS about why you should play these games

[illkickyourbass]

I really, really don’t like Ranmaru’s original Shining Quest outfit  (it’s too anachronistic, and the trilby/necktie/untucked button-down made the whole thing feel like an ill-fitting Spirit of Halloween costume). But I do really like Ranmaru, and the challenge of keeping the original idea as much intact but making it mesh better with high fantasy sounded fun! (I mean, there are elements I like about the original design...the color palette is great, and I like the general idea of using glitzy Vegas trappings to integrate Ranmaru’s image color, etc...) 

Here’s a big big bonus: an accompanying fic under the cut! (SFW, reader-ran meet cute, non-gendered protag, not explicitly romantic, mild cw for violence and arranged marriages!) 

You traveled down the alley, uncomfortable in your disguise and your predicament. You never liked plans that made anyone a sitting duck, and you didn’t like wearing a stupid outfit that absolutely yelled you were ripe for the mugging.

It’s only a matter of time before the small-time bandits start to trail, and then even less until one tries to mug you. He’s an idiot, average in size and easy to overpower, and he panics and begs as you pin him against the wall.

“I need you to bring me to someone.”

The other bandits scatter, inevitably relaying the message.

------------------

He’s a weird someone. A swindler who’s not big on honeyed words or grand schemes. He’s notoriously rude and straightforward, relying on sheer guts and intuition (and punching) to move mountains of money and curate the back alleys the way he’d like. Your own gut tells you he’s the man you need, but finding him by yourself went nowhere. You needed someone who knew the pulse of the underground better than you -- which really meant you needed any dumb fuck who could read the thieves’ cant left all over town and you could throw around a little.

“Here!” Your bandit reads the chalked marks on streetcorners, eventually leading you to an unmarked back alley. Two cats sit on a crate, and you see a figure dressed in white, black, and red, leaning against a wall in the dull light of a lamppost.

“Beat it,” you murmur, and push the bandit away. He takes the memo quickly and splits.

The man is still far off from you, but you can still make out his mismatched eyes as he speaks loudly, clearly, and harshly.

“What the fuck does a royal guard want from me?”

Secretly, you’re relieved you don’t have to keep up disguises anymore. “It’s not that weird for me to approach the son of a noble,” you say, barely hiding the anticipation bubbling in your chest.

“Tch.” He glowers at you from under his hat, and he shows his hand, three small dice between each finger. You already know this is him baring his teeth. You’re not sure if he knows you know the kind of ruin he can make with those dice, but he’s not backing down. “Answer my question.”

Your feet move before you can think, and so do your hands. You’re dashing at him, drawing your blade, startling the cats as they noisily leap off the crate. For a split second, you notice he’s distracted -- he even seems to bark after them, but you’re too much of a threat for him to give chase. He steps away from your charge and throws his dice, landing with a clatter before they erupt into flame. You leave yourself open as you escape the heat, and he barrels into you. Gods, he really is strong.

Soon you’re pinned to the ground, but you’ve drawn a knife to his neck, glinting orange as the fire dies down. You lock eyes with him, thoughts wheeling faster than you can process and adrenaline firing even faster than that. He is frowning and looking just as intense and wild as you feel. This is him, you think. I’ve finally found him. Ranmaru, the son of a disgraced Kurosaki nobles, who disappeared from the court to pay family debts and spare them the same fate. And instead of being swallowed whole, he rose up. Not just as the new prince of the underworld, but as the sort of man who’ll swindle only the ruthless of their money and bully those who line their pockets by haranguing the helpless.

It takes some time for you to notice you can feel his pulse, traveling from his neck, through your blade, and softly beating in your hand.

“I need your help,” you blurt out.

Ranmaru makes a confused an exasperated sound.

“The princess has disappeared and that’s not an accident and --”

“Slow down!” he growls. “I already knew that, jackass, that’s old news--”

“NO! Shut up, listen to me! I made her disappear! Nobody announced it but she was gonna get married off to some demon king to serve some creepy old prophecy and I thought that was a stupid solution so I stashed her with her girlfriend --”

“Do you ever stop to breathe!?”

You clap your free hand over his mouth. “-- but now the rest of the guard is onto me and now I need to disappear but still keep an eye on the princess but also still be able to keep up enough with everything so I can figure out some kind of way to fix all this!”

Ranmaru, frowning even harder than before, tears your hand off his mouth. “Are you done?”  You nod. “Can you take your damn knife off my neck now?” You oblige. Almost reluctantly, between not wanting to lose the advantage and that odd, intimate grasp on how fragile his heartbeat is. But Ranmaru releases you from the pin, grabs his now-extinguished dice, and offers you a hand up. You hesitate to take it, and he looks annoyed for a moment.

“Listen, you’ve got an honest look to you. You’d be a shitty mark and I don’t want to pull any horseshit on you. C’mon, stop wasting our time.”

So you do. His grip is firm, strong, and warm, even through his runed gloves. Worryingly, he also doesn’t let go and grips aggressively hard.

“If you wanted my help in the first place, why the hell did you come at me like that?”

“.....I panicked,” you answer honestly.

Ranmaru snorts. “Some royal guard you are.”

“Hey, dingbat, what do you expect?!” you reply indignantly, now squeezing back just as aggressively. “I’m on the lam, I’m dressed so I look like sharkbait to any nutsack who wants a quick buck, I’m a couple of goof-ups away from being charged with treason, and I was staring down someone I’ve admired for a super long time now --”

“Admired?” Of all the things to catch him off-guard, you don’t expect it to be that. (You also didn’t expect to say that to begin with -- but with desperate times come desperate confessions, you suppose.) Ranmaru breaks eye contact and grits his teeth, hiding his awkwardness by intently stuffing his dice into a bag on his belt.

“...yeah.” You decide it isn’t worth walking it back. “...I’ve admired how you rose from ash and protected people along the way. That’s the biggest reason I sought you out instead of anyone else.”

He clearly has no idea with what to do with that. You can feel the wheels turning in his head as he tries and process such an idea.

“Mm. Ah, well. I’m hungry,” he says, looking away and straightening his hat that wasn’t in any sort of disarray. He starts to walk to a nondescript door along the alley before turning to look back at you, once more scowling. “....Are you coming or what?” he says, sounding irritated. You just give him a quizzical look. “Well, we clearly have a lot to discuss, and it’d be stupid to do it hungry,” he returns. He knocks in a specific cadence before throwing open the door, the warm smell of spiced spirits and roasting meat blasting out like the heat from an oven.

And hope swells in your chest, intoxicated by this future unfolding for you besides the gambler prince.

(P.S. VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: THE PRINCESS AND HER GF ARE HARU AND TOMO) 

[puppyluver256]

Underworld Ultimatum: The Quest for the Hottest Hades

So I mentioned in a previous big text post that I have some Very Strong Opinions on the interpretation of Greek god Hades shown in Disney’s Hercules film, and now I’m gonna talk about those opinions dammit! But let’s make it a little interesting. I always believe that if you can’t say something nice you shouldn’t say anything at all, so I’m also going to use this as an opportunity to talk about a Hades that I do enjoy. It’s a competition, babey! The Underworld Ultimatum! Or, if you’re preferring to reference a property one of these guys is in, the Hades Cup! (though to be fair this is less of a true competition and more of me showing why I like one and not the other)

First off, it’s the guy who inspired this, give it up foooor...

Disney’s Hades!

First of all, the guy’s design might’ve seemed cool back in the day, but looking back on him he’s kinda bland. Grey toga with accents of other greys, blue deathly pallor, nasty teeth... The flame hair is a pretty good concept, but considering the ancient Greek idea of the underworld probably wasn’t fire-themed I don’t know if it was an appropriate choice.  ❌

Speaking of that flame hair, he commits the crime of “blue fire is totally cooler than red fire you guys what is physics?” nonsense. Anyone who puts even the tiniest bit of research in knows that, disregarding chemical compounds that affect flame color, blue flames are hotter than red/orange/yellow flames. Yeah, from an artistic perspective it seems counterintuitive, and blue flames work better with his standard palette, but even with that in consideration they couldn’t’ve made it so his flames turned white when he got angry rather than orange? Lazy... ❌

This is a problem with the Hercules film overall, but this feels like a christianized take on the ancient Grecian pantheon, with a much less horny Zeus in the place of the christian god and Hercules as sort of a Jesus figure. In line with this, Hades is portrayed as an equivalent to Satan and thus is shown to be undeniably evil. This is inaccurate to the actual mythology of Hades, where (and someone with a better scope of Greek mythology can either back me up or refute me on this) he was just a dude who ran the underworld and had no real malicious intent. But of course, a character is themed around death, they have to be a completely irredeemable villain. ❌

AND continuing the villain thing! He ugly, at least according to western society standards and especially compared to the hero and leading lady who are conventionally attractive by those same standards. This is continuing a long Disney tradition that a villain should be ugly. He’s evil, thus he doesn’t get to visit the dentist. ❌

His goals are basically just the same as every other villain, take over the world with some big strong brutes that are locked away by a supposedly benevolent horndog. Well, specifically Olympus, but considering that’s where the gods live and his brief rule subjugates the GODS, if he’d been in the head for longer he’d basically rule the world. Boring, bland, think of something else for once. Or at least have a good reason other than “I’m the villain, world domination for me!” ❌

There’s no real satisfying tension between him as a villain and the hero! His initial direct action against Hercules happens when he’s an infant (speaking of, dude actively tries to kill an infant), and then the next direct interaction between them is like nearly 20 years later and Herc has no knowledge of who this guy is and how big of a threat he’s been this whole time. Call me crazy, but I feel a villain is more effective when the protag is aware of the threat they pose for longer than just “oh he showed up today and apparently he’s been trying to kill me since I was a baby and now he’s got my girl??? guess he’s a bad guy” ❌

Following this point, there’s no satisfying confrontation between Hades and Herc that works to finish off the conflict between them. The major battle that Herc has against him is mainly against the titans, and iirc the only thing that he does to him in the “grabbing Meg’s soul from the soul pool brb” section is punch him in the face. I don’t remember any direct action that Herc does to cause Hades to fall into his soul pool. ❌

He’s voiced by James Woods, who is a major jerk. I’m not going into detail here as this is already long-winded enough, and Google is free. ❌

He’s got Cerberus, as any good interpretation of Hades should. That’s a plus! ✅ Though this Cerberus seems to be based on the “generic mean dog breed” aesthetic, and also I hated fighting this guy in Kingdom Hearts (the original, not the final mix with updated controls, OOF), which leads me toooo...

The guy THEN proceeds to smear his presence all over nearly every Kingdom Hearts game! Like, you’re not needed! Get out! Leave some room for better Disney villains!!! ❌

So nine bads, one good, and that “good” only comes from me liking dogs.

Next up, we have a more recent contender to the Hades mythos in modern media. Showing up outta nowhere in the first entry into a classic series for 21 years, let’s bring our hands together fooooor...

Kid Icarus Uprising’s Hades!

First off...look at this man. Look at this man! Hell yeah that is my aesthetic! Look at all the chaotic colors, the wild anime-esque hair, aaaaa! Amazing design! I would ask someone to get me the name of Uprising’s character designer so I can shake their hand and tell ‘em they did a wonderful job on the Hades look, but they’re probably Japanese and I don’t know a lick of it. Maybe someone at NoA could pass on my compliments... ✅

He does have a flame head form at some point with blue flames, but it doesn’t become red to show his anger so there’s no more of a violation of physics then the rest of his insides are. ✅ And that’s the real problem I have with Disney’s Hades for this particular point, if you’re going to violate physics at least have some damn fun with it instead of just thinking that cooler fire is hotter just because it’s made of warmer colors.

While this Hades is also irredeemably evil, there’s no weird christ-washing of Greek mythology going on here, because the Japanese generally don’t do that sort of thing when throwing a bunch of other culture’s mythologies together. Sure, Kid Icarus includes a lot of Greek mythology elements (Medusa, Thanatos, Pandora, arguably Palutena being based on Athena, among others), but it also incorporates a lot of original elements, such as the Forces of Nature who are not based on any specific Greek gods, the Chaos Kin, the Aurum, freaking space pirates?! And in regards to the Aurum, this Hades is able to put differences aside in order to help the other factions around at the time defeat the Aurum so there’s that! ...though he’s not exactly the best team player, hehehe... ✅

While he does show up out of nowhere after the defeat of the initially perceived villain, Medusa, once he debuts Hades is a constant presence. He’s almost always poking his head into the dialogue to taunt Pit, make some quip or joke, flirt with a female character, give a dastardly threat. Everyone’s always aware of exactly what kind of threat he poses! Good villain writing! ✅

But yeah, speaking of that, he does do the whole “initial villain wasn’t the real villain SURPRISE BITCH” thing that I’m not that fond of. Call it lingering resentment from Twilight Princess where Zant was basically thrown away in favor of bringing Ganondorf back. ❌

This Hades also doesn’t seem to have a Cerberus. Twinbellows is a Thing, yes, but they never show up in the same instance in time. The real Twinbellows is dealt with in the first chapter of Uprising, and the fake version of Twinbellows that shows up in chapter 9 is dealt with LONG before Hades reveals himself. ❌

His goal is to use the souls of everyone and everything that’s died to increase the ranks of his army and in the process throw off the natural order of things, which honestly makes sense as a goal for a malevolent death god. It’s helped by the fact that there’s really no one “good” faction in this game, everyone has their own self interests and Palutena’s just the one that’s most kind to humanity and Pit, who is the protag we experience the game’s events through and thus passes on a little of his bias. ✅

Oh, you want satisfying hero/villain confrontation? The boss battle against him takes up a whole chapter and oooohhhh boy is it a good’un. Do yourself a favor and look up the battle on YouTube, or to avoid a lot of spoilers and gain a lot of context, do yourself an even bigger favor and look up Chuggaconroy’s whole Uprising playthrough. The man goes into detail about everything of this game, not just its characters and basic gameplay. ✅

He eats Pit at one point, and then that whole chapter takes place in his innards. Ew. Gross. ❌

He’s voiced by S. Scott Bollock in the English dub and Hōchū Ōtsuka in the Japanese original. I don’t know whether either of ‘em are jerks, but I doubt they’re as bad as James Woods soooooo... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Setting aside cameos like being a spirit in Smash Ultimate, this Hades has only had a significant appearance in a single piece of media. Even though it’s a tad bittersweet, he doesn’t overstay his welcome, unlike another Hades. ✅

That’s 7 goods, 3 bads, and a shrug. The winner is clear! KI Hades is the victor! Or at least it’s obvious that I prefer him over the Disney version. Rant over, thanks for sticking through my ramblin’ goofballery. It was fun at least, right? I had fun. :D