#I have more asks that I'll hopefully get to soon! I'm very slow to answer these unfortunately adskdjsj

[aimer-arts]

YOU ALL ARE SO INCREDIBLY SWEET... 💖💖💖

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

L Lawliet X F!Reader Smut Oneshot

VERY SMUTTY SMUT, 18+

FINALLY finished! This was so fun to write, but I've been so distracted recently that I haven't been able to work on any of my hobbies. I apologize for going AWOL for like, what, a month? Anyway, hopefully finishing this will be the start of bringing writing back in my life. Enjoy, L fans, and let me know if you have ideas for more!

Warnings/contents: Oral (reader recieving), PinV, cowgirl, happy trail, slight amounts of biting, and a very tired man

L has been working far too much, and it's showing. Not only has he not been leaving the CTV screens, he's stopped sleeping all together. Not even at his seat. For someone so smart, you'd think he'd know to take better care of himself.

Well, tonight, he's finally returned to your shared bedroom, only to retrieve some important flash drive. You were laying upside down on the bed, your legs propped up on the headboard and your hands busy with a rather riveting game of snake.

As soon as you heard him walk in, you perked up, flipping around and watching him with intent, your phone playing a sad little song at your loss of the now irrelevant game. "Hey! are you done working?"

He had his hands in his pockets, his steps light but slow as he felt weighed down by his lack of energy. "I'm never done working," he answered simply, walking to the nightstand and crouching down in front of it.

He opened a drawer, which contained a safe. He typed in the 12 digit code, opening it and finding a few small files and three flash drives...none of which were the right one. "I put it right here...did you take the red drive from this safe," he asked with slightly narrowed eyes, turning to the left to face you.

"No...is something missing?"

He examined you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, taking in everything about you. This was the problem, he could never tell if you were lying. Whether it was that he was so infatuated with you he couldn't imagine you lying to him, or if you were simply that good, It was frustratingly inconvenient. Perhaps you simply never lied...that was the delirium from not sleeping speaking, most definitely.

"Are you lying," he asked simply.

"No, unfortunately. I wish I had it...I can help you look," you say sweetly.

"I will find it myself...thank you," he nodded, throwing the polite thanks on the end.

"If you say so," you say in obvious skepticism.

He stands back up, looking down at you as you laid back once more. "Do you doubt my ability," he asked challengingly.

"Well...no...It's just..." you look back up at his big, tired eyes, his face discreetly shifting back and forth between curiosity and annoyance.

You look back to your phone. "You've been so tired, you're running on fumes...I just don't think you're in the right place to be effectively searching for and finding things...or, remembering where you put things...or...doing detective work..."

Silence.

You slowly look back up at him, already wincing at how he must look. When your eyes met his, he just seemed...surprised?

"Do you really think my lack of sleep is affecting my efficiency in a palpable way?" He seemed to be considering the notion.

"I do. Very much so."

"Well...I don't have time to sleep," he mused lowly.

you could work with this. "Would you at least shower? It could help you relax, get your mind off things. It'd only take, like, what, 20 minutes?"

He thought about this.

"I suppose it may assist me in 'getting my mind off things'," he sighed. "Fine. But I'd like you to look for that flash drive while I'm gone," he said firmly. Even without the team around, he still acted like he was your boss. You looked up at him with raised brows.

"...please." This energy deficit was making it harder to engage in social conventions, it took a level of consciousness he did not have currently. Another reason he needed sleep.

"Sure," you said with a smile, sitting up. "Go on, go shower, I'll start looking right now," you assured, standing and guiding him to the bathroom. He walked on his own, shutting the door behind him.

You sighed, turning to face the room, scanning it, your brow furrowed. Then, the water turned on. You glanced to the door. You could hear the rhythm of the raining droplets interrupted by him getting in.

With a deep breath, you relax, walking to the nightstand and opening it back up. You typed in the code to the safe, It was a seemingly randomized combination of the numbers within you and Watari's respective birthdays.

Reaching into your bra, you pulled out the flash drive, placing it atop everything else. You'd have to confess and apologize later, for tricking him. You really just needed a reason to get him away from his computer.

With a satisfied huff, you laid back down, continued your game of snake, and waited for him to get out.

fifteen minutes later, the bathroom door gently pushed open, and out L walked, seeming slightly better. he had a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, a slight and sparse amount of black hair barely visible above the pristine white of the fabric. Another towel was slung around his shoulders, catching the water dripping from his spiked black hair.

perfection.

You sat on the edge of the bed, smiling happily at him. "Hey, how do you feel? Better? About the flash-"

"I'd like to have sex."

Your mouth hung open for a moment, the suddenness shocking you. You supposed it was because he was lacked so much energy before, because him being so direct wasn't rare in the slightest. Meanwhile, he simply stared at you, waiting for a proper response.

"Right...right now?"

"Do you have any other plans?"

"Well, no," you say, laughing a little. "I thought you were tired. You should be tired."

"I am tired, but I've come to the conclusion that sex with you would be beneficial, more so than the shower, and more time efficient than proper rest."

You just laughed even more, giggling at his frankness. "Sure, yeah...so, I'm assuming you'll want to get straight to things? make it quick?" Nothing was unexpected with him, that was for sure.

"Well...not without foreplay. I'm not completely helpless," he muttered, his brows furrowing slightly at the insinuation he wouldn't. He could tell that's what you were thinking.

"Is that so? Here I was, thinking you'd leave me high and dry," you tease.

He took a step closer, before putting his foot up and onto the bed next to you and leaning over you. His hands were at his hips, the natural placement for him after so much time putting them in his pockets. "Do you think that lowly of me," he asked softly. His eyes were half lidded, staring deep into yours as if he were reading your soul, and his lips were parted, slowly taking in air, his breath warm against your face, so impossibly close to you.

Your skin was warming, blood rushing to your cheeks and nose as you take in the sight before you. Then, you smile, bringing your hands to cup his face. "You're trying too hard," you taunt, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes, and when you pull away he leans in farther for a beat, as if he's trying to chase you. His serious expression disappears, and he sits up just a little more. "Am I," he asked, genuinely, cocking his head a little in curiosity.

He just makes you giggle, he's so funny without even realizing. "Yes," you laugh jokingly, nodding for a moment before you calm down. Then you lean in a little more, glancing down at the foot propped up on the bed, and quietly say, "No. It's nice, fun...but, I'd rather you just be yourself." You tilt your head up, your lips brushing against his, before you give him a true kiss.

He closes his eyes, a shiver running up his spine, and when your mouth opens to slide your tongue across his bottom lip, he gladly opens his own. Your hands stay to the sides of his face, and his eventually make their way to your shoulders. You stop for a moment, scooting backward. Without even thinking, he sits completely on the bed, just to follow your lips, and as a reward you waste no time kissing him again.

You stay like that for a while, making out while he sort of straddles your legs in his usual crouch, until he moves past your mouth and to your jaw. It surprises you for a moment, but you quickly adjust, your hand moving to his damp hair to steady yourself.

He leaves wet, meaningful kisses up your jawline, his hand sliding up to your neck to hold you in place. "Did you know," he starts, planting a kiss to the spot where your ear meets your jaw. "That the ear is one of the most sensitive parts of the body," he finishes, kissing at the shell of your ear and sucking on your lobe for a moment. He wasn't even trying to be overly sexy, at least not in his words, you could tell he simply said it because your ear made him think of it, but the candidness of this moment that was so L made you melt...especially because of his soft, low voice.

"Is that so," you ask, your voice wavering a little.

you could feel his smile against the skin of your ear as he left another impassioned kiss to the shell. "It appears it is," he hummed, his voice dropping ever so slightly. Maybe he was trying.

You could do nothing but let out a nervous giggle, your back arching upward until your chest met his. You turned your head, your ear no longer accessible to him, and planted a kiss to the side of his neck. You could feel him stiffen, his breath catching in his throat. You kissed him again, this time slowly, and his hand moved to be in your hair, the other planted firmly on the top of your hip to steady himself.

You take the moment to remove the towel around his waist, glancing down to see just what you were working with...and there he was.

He was fully erect, around 6 inches, the pale pink tip beading with pre. Perfect. You almost reached out to touch him, to please him, but...

Finally, and rather suddenly, he mutters, "Sit back....please."

You don't argue, you just...do. You sit back from him. You could have kept going, just to tease him, but just in case he was overwhelmed, you sat back.

He wasn't overwhelmed, to your delight, and you knew because he leaned forward and brings his lips to your clavicle, placing a gentle but impassioned kiss there. He hears your breath catch, and as he looks up at you with his usual moon-eyed stare, he catches the way your nostrils flare, and your lips part. "You are aroused," he states softly, his hands running up your sides and under your shirt.

"I am," you titter, his cool hands sending a shiver up your spine as you watch him intently.

"If you take your shirt off, I may be able to assist you," he hums sarcastically, a slight, gentle smile across his face.

You roll your eyes, a big smile on your face as you remove your shirt, setting it aside. You take your bra off too, and your pants for good measure. The only thing left on you is your underwear, something that, as he trails feather light kisses down the valley of your breast and the center of your abdomen, he carefully removes with his thumbs and index fingers. By now, he's on his knees and bent forward completely, his hands holding your legs apart as he brings himself to be face to face with your aching folds.

he gazes up at you, not in question but in curiosity, almost a way to tease you. do you want this? how badly? you really want this, don't you?

He slowly licks his lips as his eyes flick back down to what was before him. He sticks his tongue out, giving a long, tentative lap up from your entrance to your clitoris. as his tongue slides up your clit, beneath the hood, your hips buck, just enough to let him know you're excited. With that, his lips lock onto it, his eyes half lidded as he lavishly sucks and laps, soft groans reverberating through you ever so gently as he pleasures you.

He always seems to enjoy this as much as you do, and with each moan you release, he responds to you with a particularly angled prod of his tongue, or a vibrating groan in return, rewarding the crescendo of your sounds.

Your hand finds its way to his hair, nestling in the soft black stands and gently pulling at the base. At the feeling, he releases a breath he seemed to have been holding, the air fanning against the skin of your thighs and lower abdomen. The sturdy grip he has on your hips tightens a little, and as your hips stutter with the eventual arrival of your orgasm, he looks back up at you, his eyes peering, examining, daring you to look anywhere but at him. You can't help but to stare back.

With one final lap of his tongue, you finish, back arching, head tossing back, your voice ringing through the room in what he can only describe as the song of the angels. He helps you through, gently sucking on your clit, and when you finally come down from it, he pulls away, licking the fluid from his chin and upper lip. It was sort of endearing, watching him do something that looked so...stupid, to put it bluntly.

You laugh despite your panting, smiling as he sits back with his knees rather relaxed compared to usual, not to his chest, although arched halfway there. "you were...considerably louder than usual. has it been a long time since you've experienced an orgasm?"

you almost wanted to chide him for asking a question that had such an obvious answer, but you supposed it was good he didn't negate the fact that you could self pleasure. "Nope. I guess you could say I've been saving myself for you," you sigh teasingly, crawling closer, over his legs, bringing your face and hips above his, respectively.

He instinctively takes your hips, looking up at you with a thoughtful expression. "Why would you do something like that," he asked disdainfully.

You laugh a little. "Does it matter?"

He pauses, looking to your hips. "I suppose not. It makes no difference to me," he muses.

You smile down at him with endearment, your hands sliding to his shoulders. No time to waste.

You lower yourself down his vehemently leaking cock, his grip tightening around you as you push yourself past his tip.

he leaned forward, his knees coming up, your body now between his chest and his legs as your hips met his. he wasn't especially girthy, but his length more than made up for it. You take in a breath, steadying on his shoulders, and slowly slide upward.

He watches with a sort of aroused fascination as you begin to ride him, his eyes not leaving the sight of your body taking his dick in and out, watching and feeling every twitch, listening to every sound, the variations, the angles, everything perceived. You wouldn't think he was enjoying himself all too much, given the fact he was only releasing tempered pants and the occasional hum, but it was his attention that gave it away. Nothing besides his work, and now you, has captured his attention so quickly and so intensely.

If he weren't so tired and in need of a proverbial "quickie," he'd have you in as many different positions as possible. He has a need to see every facet of you, to know how you look and feel and sound in every angle and situation...but, for now, the usual cowgirl will do. And it does, it does rather nicely.

He only looks up at your face when he takes notice of your own noises, growing in volume and desperation. Of course, when he looks up, he can really only see your tits, bouncing away, and he really has no choice but to lavishly suck on your nipple. a formality, truly. The sounds and expressions that elicits is simply heavenly.

He grips your hips tighter, and as the air from his nose fans across your chest, he thrusts himself up. You cry out, his tip unexpectedly hitting your cervix, and all you can do now is shift back and forth as he thrusts up, peer into his large observant eyes as he tongues your breast and uses your body as he wishes. The sight, the feeling, the sounds, it was all too much for you. You moan louder and louder, signaling an orgasm, and the moment his tip pounds a particular spot, you're done. Your hips buckle, your body shakes, and best of all for him, your walls constrict.

in mere moments after you, he begins to truly moan, his cheeks flushing as his orgasm grows closer. After one particularly fast and hard jerk of his hips, he's calling out your name, his teeth pressing into your chest as his lashes flutter, his cum releasing within you in quick spurts, riding the wave as your hips roll against his.

He said this would be quick, a way to relax while staying time efficient, but fortunately he was too tired to take his own tiredness into account. He fell completely asleep beside you, his head pressed into your chest and his legs pressed to your torso as you stroked his hair. He'd sleep for the next 14 hours, and while you got up to pick up the slack at work, get something to eat, or use the restroom, you always returned to him.

I genuinely looked like coraline's dad writing this. I had fun, but wow was I lethargic. I'd like to do this again though, hopefully when I'm feeling more determined!

Taglist: @cheekyweekymouse

[genericpuff]

Hey puff you have a day job right? How do you keep the motivation/discipline to create comics regularly and be an active blogger?

I've mentioned this a few times before and generally try to be as transparent as possible as I can when it comes to my real life circumstances and how they affect - and allow - my comic production schedule, because when it comes right down to it, I'm in a very privileged position that allows me certain luxuries that other comic creators simply don't have. And I don't really like the idea of someone seeing what I do and like... thinking that's a bar they have to meet because it often comes with a complete misinterpretation of what circumstances I'm in that may vary extremely from their own. Y'all are seeing a tip of a very large iceberg, y'know?

I do have a day job, I work as a tattoo artist, however my schedule is very much my own to control and while that comes with a lot of pressure to find my own work, it also allows for me to have flexibility with my other projects. That said, I'm only able to be that flexible because when I'm making money, I'm making really decent money (and with far less hours than I would need to make my living if I was working in retail still) and when I'm not, I've got a partner who makes a more consistent living that may have a much smaller hourly than what I get hourly for tattooing, but is still a decent hourly compared to minimum wage that he's able to handle bills while I get back on my feet (and there have been tons of times where our situations have been reversed, where I've been making good money and he's been needing extra help; it's honestly kind of some cosmic prank, the two of us can never seem to be doing financially well at the same time lmao)

Right now, we're just starting to come out of a slow winter season, so I've had more time than ever to sink into my personal projects. It does get stressful at times having such inconsistent payouts through the ebbs and flows of tattooing, but I try to be at peace with those slow seasons because it allows me to work on my passion projects. Especially when I've got not one, not two, but three separate tattoo expos (so far) to do this summer, which is gonna be (hopefully) three separate 30 hour weekends of straight tattooing haha And while I say hopefully (because yay good money and good publicity!) it's also gonna be extremely stressful and exhausting so I'm trying not to take the slower season for granted, because I know I'll be wishing for it again when I'm in the midst of it. And that's not even including all the other events I have booked this year that are purely for vendoring (so unrelated to tattooing) that are also gonna be crazy.

That said, the past couple years have felt particularly hard, but I know it's because we're unfortunately in the midst of a massive economic recession that has seen people spending less on luxury things - and that includes tattoos. But my comics and other personal projects give me a great outlet for my ideas and thoughts, and while projects like Rekindled are unfortunately not something I feel comfortable monetizing, they are ultimately projects that bring me a lot of joy and I think that's the best I can ask for nowadays while I wait in the hopes that things get better soon in the real world.

As for getting that motivation/discipline, I don't really have one solid answer. The reality is just that I've been doing this for a long, long time, so not drawing comics feels like not doing any other established good habit. What you may feel wondering how I manage to work so long on a single comic project with such hefty updates is undoubtedly pretty close to what I feel wondering how the fuck people manage to go to the gym LOL It's taken a lot of routine building and repetition and it's as natural as breathing to me at this point, I just feel gross when I've gone a day without drawing comics in some form. That routine has helped me get better and faster at creating as well. When I started my first long-form comic series, I started out just drawing a page a day - often taking 3-4 weeks to complete a chapter - and by the time it was done 7 years later, I was putting out a chapter a week. And then that turned into 60-90 panels of full color art a week... nah, I don't recommend anyone do that on their own like I did, I can't even do that anymore and looking back I'm in shock how I was able to pull that off, and not in an amazed "why can't I do that anymore, I used to be so awesome!" way, but more in a "oh god why did I do that to myself, no wonder I'm burnt out" way.

And honestly that's kind of the reality of it, while I'm putting out consistent updates of Rekindled that are in full color and are - in my opinion - some of the best work I've put out in the last few years, I'm also struggling to rebuild habits with my original project because I've simply fallen out of practice. I'm one person responsible for all the work I've put out, and yet when it comes to looking at the projects I still have sitting on the backburner, I still feel a sort of internalized version of Person A looking at Person B and asking "how the hell do you do it???" just like you're asking me now lol I'm working on it though and trying to get back to it little by little, day by day. On rare occasions I actually get something productive done and make progress LOL

That said, none of it has come without consequences. I've spent the majority of my artistic journey working on the same project which I feel has severely stunted my outreach and set me back in my growth; after all, we only ever see and judge the merit of webcomic projects based on the 1% of people who got lucky and achieved some semblance of fame and recognition out of it, you never see the people who have spent years still picking away at the same project from the bottom with little to show for it besides the work that's going unseen. I've also already got way more back and hip pain than one should have by their late 20's and that's definitely a consequence of spending so many hours every single day working on comics. As much as I've built some great habits that have made my comics and art better, I've also ended up with some very bad ones that a lot of people don't see because all they see is the results from the good ones. So that's something that I hope I can at least warn people about, even as a reminder to stand up and stretch every now and then and get their proper amount of sleep LMAO

And then when it comes to the blogging... I'm an AuDHD person with a lot to say and I can type at 137/wpm. So that's all there is to that ♡( ◡‿◡ )

[cybussy]

Little, Clueless Ayaka

ayaka is outside her brother's room, asking him if he had seen tohma, not knowing that the man she's been looking for is getting fucked by the said brother as they were speaking.

pairing: ayato x thoma (genshin impact)

genre: smut

warnings: semi-public sex, anal sex

ao3

finally getting around to posting my ao3 fics onto here. this was from 2021 before both of them were released so no info yet, purely headcanons. enjoy.

"brother? i hope i'm not being a bother but i just came to ask if you've seen tohma anywhere? i need him for training." ayaka knocked on ayato's room to ask for the whereabouts of a certain blonde, but the said brother wasn't responding at all.

"that's... unusual. brother usually answers immediately whenever i knock on his door.. has he gone back to sleep?" the girl wonders to herself, but decides to call out once more because she was hearing some sort of noise coming from the inside, and she does really need tohma for training.

meanwhile, the said brother was having a hard time keeping his and his partner's loud moans in check as to not get found out by his sister, hence his lack of response.

"h-hey, you need to answer ayaka now or she'll...aaah.. g-get suspicious.. hhnggh.." tohma told the other male, and ayato took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down before answering his sister.

ayato gave a deep thrust and paused, finally answering ayaka, "ayaka? i haven't seen tohma at all, i'm sorry. have you asked the guards?"

ayaka who was waiting outside let out a sigh of relief as she was getting slightly worried about her brother's lack of response, "yes, they said tohma went somewhere around here so i was wondering if you saw him, turns out you didn't."

while the two kamisato heirs were talking, tohma was getting impatient, ayato paused their little sex session to talk with his sister after all. so the blonde decided to move his hips himself, if ayato doesn't want to do it.

"haahh.. please tell me she- hgghhn- left already.." tohma told ayato after taking initiative on switching positions, tohma now is sitting on ayato and is moving himself up to down on the said male's dick.

ayato struggled once again on keeping his moans down, seeing his lover look this irresistible while needing to stop himself from making loud noises because of secrecy is somewhat very painful for him. "s-she's.. aahhh t, tohma.. still there unfortunately mmhhm..."

wanting to just be able to be noisy already, tohma suggested, "tell her to- aahh- g-go ask the- aghhg.. the maids"

and ayato gladly obliged, "ayaka? have you- hggnh- asked the-dammit haahh.. the m, maids already?"

the still clueless ayaka wondered, have she? "no brother.. i-i do not think so.. i'll go ask them now, though. thank you so much for your help. hopefully i find tohma soon.."

thinking that ayaka already left, tohma started moving faster, "a, ayato aahh...uhhgh- haahh.. g-go on top again, yeah? mmmhh.."

after saying that, ayato happily switched their positions, him being on top of tohma. and even going as far as to spreading tohma's legs wider, effectively changing their positions into the mating press.

"a, haahh-! ayato?! why.. aahhnn so deep hnnggh..!" tohma moaned loudly under ayato, catching the ayaka who supposedly should've already left.

"brother?! is something wrong?? i heard you making a pained noise!"

the two men were caught surprised, but that didn't stop them from fucking each other's brains out, "ayaka? i, i'm fine but- mhmhn-! i-i just banged my toe, that's all!"

"a- hhnghh- ayato! hmnnghh s-slow down,,!" tohma quietly begged, but his pleas fell into deaf ears as ayato moved even faster.

an audible sigh came from the girl outside, "oh thank heavens. i accidentally dropped my fan somewhere and i had to look for it. i'm so glad you weren't injured brother. ah-! i have to go now for real, i really need to train."

the two men let out huge sighs as well, feeling like they were able to breathe once again, before ayato started moving faster and going deeper into tohma's insides.

tohma, feeling his orgasm come closer and closer with each second, could do nothing but moan, "haahhh- i, i'm close- hnggh!"

"hngh.. haahh- t, tohma- i'm coming as well- aahh.. c-can i come inside?"

tohma furiously nodded, feeling himself unable to utter anything other than moans, "aaahhh-! y, yeah- hgghhn- haahhnn..! i'm coming--"

tohma came after that, but ayato's orgasm wasn't there yet, he kept thrusting without giving the blonde any breaks.

shortly afterwards, ayato came inside tohma and he gave him a passionate kiss while riding out his high.

the two of them fell asleep after promising to apologize to the clueless ayaka. and that they did, after they woke. without giving any hints that they were doing something so shameless in the middle of the day, of course.

[mydarllinglover]

Stars Collided || Eight

Previous

Lovisa had woken, what felt like only a few hours later, to Anakin thrashing around, in his sleep, his body was sweating, and tears fell from his eyes, as he called out to someone, his Mother.

"Mom! No, Mom, no!"

"Ani? Ani, wake up!" Lovisa gently shook him, as she lightly tapped his cheek. "Anakin, it's just a dream, wake up."

He sat up, abruptly, trying to catch his breath, as he looked around, in confusion.

"Anakin?" She asked, after leaning back, when he sprung up. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"My mom, she's in danger." He said, as he threw the duvet off of him.

"Ani, slow down, it was just a bad dream, talk to me." She tried stopping him, as he got out of the bed.

"No, I- I'm sorry princess, I have to go, she needs me, and I need to help her, I'm sorry."

"Where are you going?" She got out of the bed, after him, throwing her robe back on, as he rushed to get his own clothes back on.

"Back to Tatooine, I have to make sure she's safe."

"I'll go with you." Lovisa suggested.

"No, you can't, you need to stay here, where it's safe."

"No, I need to stay with you, you'll keep me safe, but I won't let you go alone."

"Vis, please."

"I'm coming with you, Ani." She said, leaving no room for argument.

He thought about it, before letting out a heavy sigh.

"Fine." He grumbled. "Meet me downstairs."

Anakin left, and Lovisa scrambled to get ready, slightly afraid that he might leave without her, but she knew she had to go with him, he was leaving his post to go find his mother, after a bad dream, nothing rational can come out from that.

She picked out a simple but pretty darkish blue dress, to wear, paired with an dark cloak with floral embroidery, and her most comfortable heels.

Lovisa then found a satchel, throwing in some more light dresses, as well as her hairbrush, a small pouch full of coins, and a book, she wasn't sure what else she would need, but if need be, hopefully there would be somewhere she could get it, if she somehow forgot. It was the middle of the night, and she had no idea how far, far away actually was, and she knew Tatooine was far, no one could really blame her packing skills at a moment like this, normally she had others do it for her.

As quietly as possible, when she was finally ready, she raced down to the entrance hall of the castle, where Anakin was whisper arguing with Ahsoka.

"What's going on?" She whispered to them.

"I knew you were going!" Ahsoka whisper shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Ahsoka's trying to come with us." Anakin folded his arms across his chest, looking visibly frustrated.

"How did you know we were going somewhere?" Lovisa asked.

"Uh, I could hear him scuttling about, and I could sense it, I knew something was suspicious." She answered.

"Well, you can't come." Lovisa told her, with some authority in her tone.

"Yeah, stay here." Anakin added.

"It's my job to be there for the princess's every need." Ahsoka's face was blank, not bothered by their words. "'Sides, good luck getting very far, I'll snitch as soon as you leave those doors, and I'm not ashamed to, either."

Anakin let out a sharp huff of anger, as he looked away.

"Fine, you can come, but... be cool about it, okay, we're going to Anakin's home, Tatooine." Lovisa told her.

"Cool, we should get a move on, then." She turned, her own satchel swaying with her movement, as she walked out the large doors.

The boy pressed his finger to his temple, calming his nerves, how'd he get stuck babysitting, once again?

Lovisa followed after her, and he strolled behind last, admitting defeat.

The three had snuck onto the lone boat, and Anakin was the one to steer it back to the other dock, where they were set loose in the streets of Naboo.

"Where are we going to find transport?" Ahsoka asked.

"I hadn't got this far." Anakin shrugged, trying to think, this would have been so much easier back in Coruscant, where transport was located everywhere, for any time of need.

"Don't worry, I know a guy." Lovisa shared, leading the two deeper into the village.

"You know a guy?" Anakin repeated, not sounding too thrilled.

"Yeah, not far from here, come on."

She had led them to a rough looking Cantina, where it looked like a brawl was the peak of their entertainment, what gave it away was the small pile of broken stools, among other things, in the alleyway, where a back door was.

Lovisa pounded on it, a couple of times, before a balding man with a long scar down his face, and a crooked nose, poked his head out.

"What?!" He demanded.

Lovisa pulled the hood of her cloak off, so that he could see that it was her.

"Visa!" He cheered, as he cupped her face, kissing her cheeks. "I was beginning to worry when I haven't seen you in so long. What can I do ya for, hun?"

"Hi, Gido." She smiled kindly. "Uh, we're actually in a sticky situation, and we need a horse, or two..."

"What's this for, huh? You ran away, again?" He asked, with a raise of his brow.

"Uh... not officially, but we are on a clock, these are my friends, and it would be really kind, if you could help us out."

"Hello" Ashoka waved.

"How'd you do?" Anakin greeted, meekly, looking behind the man, at the crowded Cantina.

"Gimmie one sec, alright, I'll get it sorted, for my favourite girl." Gido winked, before heading back inside.

"See, I know a guy." She shrugged her shoulder, looking back at the two.

"Yeah, how, though, is what I wanna know." Anakin told her, suspiciously.

"I come here, sometimes, and I tip well."

"This place?" Ahsoka grimaced.

"Yeah, Colo showed it to me, once, it's nice, you gotta experience it to get it."

"Oh, right, Colo." Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Lovisa asked him.

"Don't tell me your jealous." Ahsoka chuckled.

"I didn't say that." He dismissed.

The door reopened, and they were met with Gido's face, again.

"Here ya go, sweetheart, this guy will help ya out, go to him, tell 'im ol' Gido sent ya."

"Thank you so much, Gido, here, let the guys have a round, on me." She placed a small handful of coins in his palm, as she took the paper.

The door then closed, and they heard a very loud chorus of cheers from inside, as they turned around, to walk back out of the alley, Lovisa lifting her hood back over her head, as they did.

"Long live Visa?" Anakin quoted from inside. "Yeah, cause that's not gonna give away the fact that the princess is out from hiding."

"Will you calm down? No one is gonna think that. 'Side's, if you really thought that people important would know I'm back, from the local pub, they'd know I snuck out to go there, every night?"

"She has a point." Ahsoka shrugged.

"Thank you, Snips." Lovisa nodded, as she looked at the piece of parchment Gido gave her.

Lovisa led the other two around the village, hiding in the shadows, as they found their next destination.

Until they heard something coming from an alleyway.

"Do you hear that?" Ahsoka asked, as she looked around, trying to locate it.

"Yeah" Anakin breathed, as he did the same.

"What is it?" Lovisa asked, looking at the two.

"This way." Her friend said, walking down the alleyway, where she and Anakin could hear it from, but she felt this feeling in her chest, telling her to go to it, that it was important, there was life down there.

The princess quickly followed behind the two, as they sped to the place, as it started to trickle down with rain.

She gasped sharply, as what they could hear, was a soggy box, filled with three small puppies.

"Oh, wow!" She kneeled down, not caring for her dress, as she petted the three.

One with the golden coat, was quick to jump at her, licking her face excitedly, as she caught it, hugging the puppy to her chest.

Ahsoka had picked up the other one, he had an darker coat, with spots of red in his fur.

Then there was the last one, which Anakin felt obligated to pick up, not wanting him to be left all by himself. He had white and grey fur, but the most bright blue eyes, similar to the boy's.

"We have to keep them." Lovisa decided, knowing she couldn't give up her new puppy.

"Vis..." Anakin sighed, as he pet behind the ears of his own.

"Anakin, they're strays, they have no home, we need to."

"I don't think I can give this one up, if I tried." Ahsoka shared, as hers chewed on her hair.

"Fine... we can keep them, but can we please remember why we're here in the first place?"

"Right, come along, no more distractions." Lovisa stood up, her puppy in her hands, as he continued to lick her.

There wasn't much further to go, when Ahsoka dug through her satchel, finding some jam sandwich's she had packed, just in case.

"Skyguy, take him." She held her own puppy out, not giving the boy much choice but to take him, as she ripped up the sandwiches, handing a piece to Lovisa, before giving it to her own puppy, taking him back from Anakin and giving him the last piece.

"What did you just call me?" He furrowed his brows, as he lifted the sandwich to his mouth.

"Not for you, idiot, for your dog." She told him, when he went to bite it.

"I knew that." He mumbled, giving it to his dog.

"Looks like we're here." Lovisa shared, as they looked up at the barn, that was attached to a small house.

"Maybe I should go ask." Anakin assessed, his hand automatically going to fall on the hilt of his sword.

"No, Gido told me, so I will." Lovisa finalised, before handing Ahsoka her puppy, and walking forward.

She knocked on the door, and fiddled with her fingers, as she waited.

The door was pulled open suddenly, causing the girl to jump, as a burly man poked his head out.

"What?" He asked.

"Hello, I'm a friend of Gido's and he said that you would be able to help me, and my friends." She gestured to the two behind her, "With transport?"

He assessed her, and the two for a moment.

"Do I know you?" He asked.

Lovisa froze at the question, her cheeks heating up, before quickly shaking her head.

"No, uhm, no I don't think so, I'm just a friend of Gido's in urgent help. I'm willing to pay."

"Hmm" He grumbled, before opening the door wider and stepping out. "Follow."

The three walked behind, as the man headed towards the barn, and opening the doors.

"There's a reason Gido sent you here, if you're in urgent need of getting somewhere, my horses are the best around, fast and reliable."

He clicked his teeth, alerting the two horses in the stables, waking them from their slumber, as he prepared the carriage, it was a bit smaller than the royal ones, and it had no roof.

"Thank you so much, sir, we are extremely grateful." Lovisa smiled kindly.

"Aren't youse lot a lil young to be running around by yourself?" He asked, assessing all three of the teenagers.

"We're orphans, actually." Ahsoka answered. "And we're travelling for work."

"You're all orphans?" The man didn't seem so convinced.

"Yup! We're the only family each others got, our mama and pa.. it's too painful to talk about..." She sighed.

"You're all related?" He raised a brow, looking at Ahsoka, then the other two.

"Their parents were like my own, but these two are the best cousins around." She threw an arm around the pair, who had both gone stiff.

"alright, then..." He then walked off to grab the gear for the horses.

"What was that?" Lovisa hissed.

"Yeah, way to play it cool." Anakin quipped.

"I panicked, and then I couldn't shut up." Ahsoka shrugged, "But neither of you were much help."

"You didn't give us a chance." Anakin rolled his eyes.

Next

[fictionfolk-safehaven]

Hey there! We're that anon whose posts "got eaten" as you put it, haha! We just wanted to give an update and say that the character does indeed seem to be a newly split headmate and uh to make stuff funnier(? probably not the right descriptor but idk what to call it), him and I might start dating soon?

It's a bit wild, I was expecting him to shut me down or for us not to hit it off so well, since obviously introjects are not the same thing as their source and that the source character seemed like someone I specifically would be totally compatible with didn't mean that the headmate in question would like me (especially since most of our insys relationships are quite turbulent and we have problems with being kind to one another due to very different incompatible world views, goals in life, etc, so I was mildly expecting this one to end up being uncooperative as well) (we're working on being nicer to one another dw). But he hasn't had a problem with any of us so far and we like each other a lot, so yeah, we might actually get together!

I'm trying to ask him out for Valentine's day but internal communication has been a bit spotty lately (times of stress nearly always make our communication much worse and limit it to "intrusions" while also making full switches with no co-con more frequent, which sucks), so wish me luck! Hopefully I manage to ask him out before Valentine's is upon us and if I'm a lucky man he might say yes!

Oh, last thing: do you have any, uh, ideas for a date / Valentine when it's insys? The only thing I got is going to a café but I'm unsure if he'd like that and I'd like to have a few ideas ready since I'm the one asking him out in the first place. I asked some of the other headmates but they couldn't think of much either.

Also uuuh in case we come back, can our sign off be 🪞🐦‍⬛?

oh my god our queue is so slow and we're so slow at updating it, it's past valentines day -_- you can absolutely!! Gods we needed to update our anon tag list asap.

that being said insys dates! We haven't managed to do any ourselves, but tbh we should. Honestly we tend to just think of what our ideal date would look like, and go do that with "ourselves." For us it'd usually be something like staying in and engaging in some shared interest, getting a treat if we can afford it, etc. Going to a cafe sounds like a great idea, honestly. We'd be likely to engage in our source for a date since we're source connected, or just engage in some media we both enjoy.

Sadly I happen to be *not* the hopeless romantic of the collective, but the only one with the energy to answer this, so it's not very detailed, but I hope it at least helped in terms of assuring you that your ideas are more than enough. Depending on who you and your partner are, your ideal date might not look very flashy. I wouldn't worry too much. I'll also open this to the comments if anyone has any better input to give.

-Keeper Alhaitham

[kaesaaurelia]

petrichor, ozone, and copper

For @whumptober day 14, using the prompts “water inhalation,“ “just hold on,” and the lyric prompt, “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”

Continued from Day 1, wherein Crowley definitely did not move into the bookshop, took a nap on the couch afterwards, and when he woke up his lungs hurt and he passed out, Day 2, wherein Muriel carried him into Maggie’s record shop, because they hoped a human might understand better than they do what was wrong with him, Day 10, wherein Crowley's illness was causing strange and terrible weather, and help from Heaven was not forthcoming, and Day 13, wherein Crowley got even worse, but Muriel thought they might've worked out what had happened.

Muriel brought Crowley back to Nina's shop, which was very empty. When they put him down on one of the tables, he looked very grumpy indeed.

They didn't know if that was consistent with what they thought was happening to him, but it was consistent with Crowley, so they didn't worry about it too much. "I think it's holiness poisoning," they told the humans. Crowley made an incomprehensible but thoroughly grumpy noise. "Only I don't think it's usually this slow?"

"What do you know about holiness poisoning?" Crowley asked.

"Oh, it's all in the employee handbook!" said Muriel, perking up. "All the ways it can happen, and what it looks like, and how we mustn't do it to any demons, because it's a violation of all kinds of treaties."

"And how to fix it?" Maggie asked hopefully.

"Er. No, actually," said Muriel. There must be a way to fix it, though, because... well, because. Surely God wouldn't let this just happen to Crowley, who was very nice except for the demon thing, so if he had got holiness poisoning somehow, there must be a way to fix it.

"So they told you how to do something you aren't supposed to do?" said Nina, leaning against the counter. Nina sometimes asked questions in ways that made Muriel awfully uncomfortable, which they tried to ignore, because surely Nina didn't mean to do that. "Sounds more like they just wanted you to make sure you weren't caught."

"Oh, no, they would never want us to do something we weren't supposed to," said Muriel, appalled. "That's the first thing in the employee handbook! And the third, and several other things also. It's definitely very important to the mission statement."

"Right," said Nina, but it was a slow, drawn-out sort of way to say "Right." Muriel decided to try not to worry about it.

"Anyway!" they said brightly, "I think I know what caused it, actually, and since it would be such a terrible treaty violation, I can only assume Hell is trying to frame Heaven for it, so Heaven should be very happy to help me fix it!"

"Mmhmm," said Nina, exchanging a look with Maggie. Crowley tried to say something, but he started coughing again, so conversation was briefly impossible because of the thunder.

"Anyway! Now that I know who to talk to, I'm going to go back to the bookshop and try to get a hold of then!" This would be much easier, because reaching somebody who knew specific things about physical matter would probably be easier than waiting for someone, anyone, to answer a general prayer and redirect it to the Supreme Archangel.

"Er. Good luck with that?" said Maggie. "But isn't there anything we can do for him now?"

"Don't put any holy water on him," said Muriel, brightly.

"Seems easy enough," said Maggie.

"And don't light any candles you got recently as housewarming gifts," added Muriel, just in case, because they were reasonably sure that was what had happened. They felt stupid now, not thinking to check that the candle had come from the Supreme Archangel and not an infernal malcontent hoping to provoke a terrible war according to Hell's timeline instead of Heaven's.

"House... warming?" Maggie asked.

"It's a charming human tradition!" said Muriel, who was surprised the humans did not already know about their own traditions. "I'll be back as soon as I have a solution."

They hurried back to the bookshop, waving away several lightning bolts. That seemed awfully dangerous for the humans to deal with, they thought. Which was yet another reason there must be a way to help Crowley!

Once they were back, they started the circle up again, but this time they knew exactly who they were going to be contacting, and it wasn't the Supreme Archangel, because clearly there was something wrong today with how Heaven was directing prayers. At one point in Heaven they'd memorized the entire internal directory, and an angel in the lower rungs of the Physics & Metaphysics Division had to be easier to reach than the Supreme Archangel.

And so it was that, in very little time at all, they were speaking with Arariel. "Sorry, who are you, exactly?" Arariel asked.

"Oh, I'm Muriel!"

"Do I know you?"

"No." Muriel had just liked their name, which they thought was fun to say. They decided not to explain that, though, because it seemed a bit rude. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Oh, no, no," said Arariel, shaking their head. "It's a bit dull here now the world's all created and everything. Last thing I had anything to do must've been, oh, a hundred years ago at least, maybe more."

They'd gone a lot longer without anyone bothering them, so that didn't sound that bad, really. "What was it about then?"

"Some Principality wanted us to end support for fire. I knew the idea was mad from the start, but there was so little going on I read all fifty pages, just in case they had some good points."

"Did they?" Muriel asked. It seemed an odd request to them; fire was so nice and cozy.

"Nah," said Arariel. " But I'm sure whatever you need won't be that weird. So! What do you need?"

"The cure for holiness poisoning." Arariel frowned at them, so they clarified. "In demons. Well, one demon."

Arariel nodded slowly, and Muriel waited for them to explain the cure. But instead they said, "Sorry, you know we don't like demons, yeah?"

"Oh, no, obviously," said Muriel. "But this one is nice! Also his symptoms are pretty dangerous for the humans. I'm on Earth," they clarified, "so there's a lot of them! Anyway, what should we do to fix all of that?"

"Erm. Well. Have you tried holy water? Once the demon is gone for good there won't be any more dangerous symptoms," Arariel said.

"But that would kill him!" said Muriel.

"Right," said Arariel. There was a long silence, and then they said, again, "You know we don't like demons, right? Because they're evil?"

"This one isn't, though. I mean he is, but he's not really," Muriel said. "And he's really suffering. I don't think God would let that happen, do you?"

Arariel frowned. They did not seem angry so much as fearful, though Muriel could not tell why they were afraid. "Well. Look, I don't know what to tell you."

"But it's a terrible treaty violation," said Muriel. "Hell's clearly set this up so that it would look like we provoked a war, but we didn't, and then we'll have --"

"I really don't think the leadership would mind if there was a war," said Arariel.

Some leadership would, Muriel knew. "Look," they said, "if you can't help me I really do need to be put in contact with the Supreme Archangel --"

"The Supreme Archangel?" Arariel repeated this with incredulity, as if Muriel had asked to speak to God. "He'd smite me. He'd smite you, too. Very smitey one, I hear."

"I've met him and he's very nice," said Muriel. "He gave me a cup of tea."

"Don't know what that is."

"It's nice to look at!"

"Well. Er. Great for you. Look, anyway --"

"The reason I'm asking about the cure for holiness poisoning," said Muriel, determined to keep what little foothold they had, "is because the demon who's got it is the Supreme Archangel's... er... er..." They were not quite sure how to describe the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley. "Well, Crowley's sort of his demon, do you understand?"

Arariel looked very dismayed. "Oh. Oh no. Yeah, we've all heard of Crowley."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing, never mind," said Arariel. "I don't know what can be done for him, though, so --"

"If you don't help me I'm going to tell the Supreme Archangel," said Muriel, impulsively.

They felt a bit bad about it later, but it did seem to help things along, in that Arariel went from dismayed to terrified in short order, and said "Right! Yes! I'll -- we'll -- we'll work something out, yeah. It wasn't by holy water, I would imagine, because I think he's immune, and anyway if he wasn't he'd be dead. What was the method of exposure?"

They thought about Crowley's tiny lung knives, and the candle they'd been gifted from, supposedly, the Supreme Archangel. "I think inhalation?"

"Of some sort of incense, or --"

"No, I don't think so -- let me just check something," said Muriel. They hurried back to the desk, where they found the candle, and they sniffed it carefully. Yes, that thing that had made them feel at home was definitely holiness. They rummaged around in Aziraphale's desk drawer until they found a little letter opener shaped like a sword, which they used to cut the candle open.

In the center was a hard white thing buried in wax, but melting that away with a quick miracle, the thing looked like a knucklebone.

They hurried back to the circle and held out their hand for Arariel to see. "This was in a candle. It's very holy."

"Aah, a human saint's relic," said Arariel. "Very holy indeed. Well. And the demon's still... alive, and reasonably intact?"

"He's coughing a lot and he's lost all his strength," said Muriel.

"Well. You'll want to ease the holiness out of him... somehow. Let me run some tests. I'll get back to you," said Arariel.

"I'm sorry to put you to all this trouble, only it's very important," said Muriel. "He's a very nice demon."

"I don't know about that," said Arariel, doubtfully. "On the other hand, at least you're not proposing to edit a fundamental chemical reaction out of the universe entirely, so. Small favors."

--

The longer Crowley stayed out of the bookshop, the better he felt. He was still feeling awful, but the blood rain had turned into regular rain, which was good because that would probably keep it from clotting up in the gutters, and his temperature had gone down enough that he was safe for humans to touch. It still hurt to breathe, though, and to move, and it was all deeply infuriating because all he wanted to do was sleep and the only place with a bed was the place he couldn't go into. But between the two of them Nina had got someone to lend her a cot and Maggie had got blankets from somewhere and he was dozing uncomfortably in the record shop's storage area, which wasn't really a room of its own but it was at least slightly hidden from human view.

Muriel came by late in the evening to explain what they'd found out, which was that Crowley could be cured by the simple expediency of inhaling holy water.

"What," said Crowley.

"Because you're immune, you see," said Muriel. "That's what Arariel said, anyway. I didn't know a demon could be immune to holy water," they added, "but that's very handy, isn't it?"

"Ah." Crowley did not exactly have regrets about escaping his execution by switching places with Aziraphale, but also, it did mean Muriel's information was a bit useless. "So the problem with that iss I'm... not... completely immune? I mean, I'm definitely immune enough that you don't need to go telling Heaven I'm not."

"Oh," said Muriel, nodding as if that made sense. "Well. Could you -- er. What if you just breathed in holy steam?"

"That would hurt a lot," Crowley said. His voice no longer sounded like his own, but on the plus side, he wasn't coughing as much anymore, because it was hard for a throat to itch when it was in this much pain.

"It would, but it would dissolve all the little spiky holy particles in your lungs, hopefully," said Muriel.

"Holy... particles?" Maggie asked, dubiously.

"Yes! Arariel told me about them," said Muriel.

"And you believe thissss Arariel?" Crowley asked.

"I did tell them that if you died I was going to tell the Supreme Archangel," said Muriel, "and they seemed to want to avoid that."

"Hmph," said Crowley, not thinking much of this threat. But then again, he was in enough agony, and how much worse could inhaling holy steam be? And as little as Aziraphale must think of him, Crowley couldn't imagine he wouldn't be at least a little upset if Crowley died. So he supposed he might as well try it, because either he'd die and it would be over, or he wouldn't die and he could make everyone else at least half as unhappy as he was about it the whole time.

It took until the next day to obtain both the holy water and a humidifier, since nobody was keen on making Crowley put his face in a boiling pot of holy water. When he was finally able to try this supposed cure, the storm around Whickber Street became a mist to rival the bad old days of pea-soup fog, and all he could recall of the day was a searing pain and Muriel trying to be encouraging at him while he felt like his throat was being eaten up by acid.

But eventually, finally, when he faced away from the steam, the pain was significantly lessened, and Muriel suggested he rest for a few hours, and by the end of the day the only traces of the brief but strange local weather disturbance were the mingled scents of petrichor, ozone, and copper, and a handful of thinkpieces in the papers about the unexpected consequences of climate change, and Crowley was still wobbly and exhausted and achey, but he could breathe without pain.

[five-bi-five-mind]

I was tagged by @storiesofsvu so let's goooo

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 45 I believe

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

229,358 words apparently

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Criminal Minds, Station 19, MCU, DCEU (and the Arrowverse), BTVS... am I forgetting something?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm Yours Too

The Collapse

New Addition

Sin For Me

Maybe This Time

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Eh yeah sometimes. I get a couple that are backhanded compliments and I'm usually like "uh hey no."

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably... Break the Cycle... But I think there's going to a fic to beat that ending here soon.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Turbulence for sure

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Like I said, backhanded compliments. Mostly on MTT because people didn't like the way I wrote reader for a bit, but it's a slow burn. Also weirdly on some Maya fics? Because people thought I was writing a Maya/Carina and that Carina was out of character when... she wasn't... in the fic...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

oh ho ho ho... do I write smut... all kinds. All kinds.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't unfortunately write crossovers and I don't think I ever will. ):

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God I fucking hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, I hope not. If someone ever translated my fic I'd like for it to be a team effort and for them to ask me and work with me on that. Or, preferably, I'd just do it myself depending on the language.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I've been asked a few times but I am very hard to get a commitment out of. That's my bad. One of these days I'll co-write a fic I'm sure! Hopefully with one of my faves, the great @demonicbaby666

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Uhhhhh..... swan queen.......... I'm sorry

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Villanelle one. I love that one so much but like... I don't think there's much interest in it and I kind of have turned my attention elsewhere.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I genuinely do not know. Maybe that I can capture a character's voice well sometimes? Y'all tell me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I'm way too fucking repetitive and also punctuation has never been my strongest thing. The more German I learned in undergrad the worse my English punctuation and grammar got.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I mean I do it a tiny bit for Carina, but my Italian is severely limited to 1.5 classes of undergrad. Otherwise, unless there's randomly a German speaking character I'll write for in the future... I don't like doing it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Like ever? Technically Twilight fanfics lol but that was way back in the day. Officially for this blog and stuff? Criminal Minds and BTVS at the same time.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Actually... it hasn't been posted yet but I know what it will be once it's done. But for now...

There's three for three different reasons:

I Wish I Was the Moon

Me & the Devil

Maybe This Time

Okay no pressure tags of course but I'm gonna tag @yelenas-poser @desperate-gay @imdoingsortagay and genuinely anyone else who follows me and wants to do it. (If you do please tag me I wanna read your answers lol)

[foibles-fables]

20 questions for fic writers

Snagging this one from @mehoymalloy, tagging @tjerra14 @finrays @poetikat @saltygirafe and anyone else who'd like to do it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

75!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

348,609

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Horizon, Stray Gods, Control, and [fingers crossed] HOPEFULLY BG3 soon...lots more in the past, and potentially again in the future! (Warrior Nun, Legend of the Seeker, Critical Role, the list goes on. That tends to happen over 18 years of fic writing.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm gonna turn this question around a little and pick the top by kudos in each of my current- and/or most-active fandoms....if I went purely by numbers, the power of Avatrice would overrun the results, hahaha.

Because the Light Is Close (Warrior Nun), The Weight of Us (Legend of the Seeker), rest like you belong here. (Horizon), the veins grow in slow (Critical Role), and brave this time (Stray Gods).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely, to every single one! I appreciate, cherish, and return to every single kind word I get--and I gotta make sure that appreciation is known. Nothing makes me feel better than taking the joy of others and reflecting it back with gratitude!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh man uh....I think waiting through daybreak (Stray) (yes the cat game) fits the bill here. That, or so i'll stay half away (Horizon).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh no, SO many!!! Lemme pick just one here....today I'll toss embodiment (Horizon) into the ring.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not to my face, which I'm glad about!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Hell yeah I do. Primarily/exclusively F/F, mostly of the very soft variety. But just because it's soft doesn't mean they're not fuckin' Nasty™

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I actually have never written a crossover.

....oh I LIED, I definitely crossed Grey's Anatomy over with Private Practice back in the day. But does that even REALLY count?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've been asked a few times, and I've accepted, but they're not complete yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not in earnest!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME. FORCING ME TO PICK ONE FAVORITE???

I won't choose between Aloy/Talanah and Cara/Kahlan. They can tie.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I am holding them in my teeth and growling. I am refusing to let any of them go.

16. What are your writing strengths?

prose-craft with evocative syntax, emotional immediacy, identifying parallels, descriptive introspection, character voice, strength in narrative POV

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOTTING. Can't plot my way out of a paper bag. I am working on this.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Totally would if 1) it actually fit within the fic/fandom itself and 2) if I had a trusted resource/knowledgeable person to reference and check my work!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the Xenosaga series, so many years ago.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

This is always the most difficult question to answer, and I feel like it changes by the day. I'd say it's either rest like you belong here. (Horizon), for the pure nostalgia of being The First fic I wrote for my current and long-lasting brain rot--or Because the Light Is Close (Warrior Nun), as a product of the exhilarating fandom time in which it was written.

[rriavian]

WIP Wednesday

Ok so I'm starting very early today but I've not done one of these for a while and I really want to get back into it. If you send me an ask for any of the below wips I'll reply with three (or more) sentences from that wip :) Hopefully can get a few more finished off!

Creative Discipline (Dream gets the Corinthian to baby sit Daniel)

Untitled corinthian calliope oneshot 

Deliverance chap 6 (gosh this has been on here for so long I'm so sorry it's like 5300 words so almost done!)

(Im)patience is a Virture chapter 2

Part 3 (next chapter of A slow advancing tide)

Pretty much all of these are almost done so hopefully I can stop delaying those last little bits and get a few more over the line :) I'm also still putting together my answers for some other asks too - taken a while because they got a bit wordy and I'm trying to make sure my thoughts make sense - so should be answered very soon! Hopefully they will be good answers but the more I dig into them the more I find I have to say.

As always, will post a snippet a little bit later when I decide what I want to post. Might do another flower prompt or something for the femslash event but we shall see <3

[blackjackkent]

Vague fic ideas rattling around bc SotO release has kicked me right in the feels...hopefully will get to writing something more full soon but for now, random little word-vomit drabble...

Set probably a day or so after the end of the SotO story missions. (Spoilers obviously.)

It should have felt cold, sitting up there at the top of the world. There should have been biting wind, the sort of ice-cold air that blew directly through one's armor and froze at the heart. Lucas had stood atop the highest mountains of the Shiverpeaks and had felt that cold before, and even the tallest among them must be miles below where the Wizard's Tower now hung above the clouds.

And yet it was not cold. There was no wind. The sky was a brilliant blue mottled with clouds and sunlight, and the air was still, calmed and warmed by the overwhelming magic of those who lived there.

He sat cross-legged on a balcony at the top of one of the spires, his elbows resting on his knees, staring out into the endless expanse. Princess, curled up next to him, nudged her head gently under his arm and puffed out a small burst of smoke through her nose with a soft whicker. Absently he rubbed his fingertips along the scales between her eyes, and smiled to himself when this elicited the strange trilling purr that the skyscale produced when she was contented.

"You often seek to be alone, I notice, Wayfinder..." The voice whispered in his ear, silky-smooth, breaking the silence on the balcony, interrupting the slow circular train of his thoughts.

He hissed out a slow breath, closed his eyes. "And you, I see, don't respect that, Peitha," he said evenly. He didn't bother turning to see if the demon was speaking in his head or had actually chosen to manifest herself on the balcony with him. What did it matter, really?

He heard her chuckle softly. "What are you hiding from?" 

Oddly enough, the question didn't even seem to be malicious in nature. She was truly curious - or bored enough to act as if she was. He hadn't quite figured her out yet. Uncomfortable allies they might be...but neither of them had put their cards fully on the table yet.

"I'm not hiding," he said. "Just thinking."

"One can think anywhere in this place. It was made for thinking."

"Sometimes it's easier to think alone." He leaned on the word just slightly. She, unsurprisingly, did not take the hint.

"I think you are afraid," she said matter-of-factly. There was a taunting note to the words, but it was hard to tell if it was there by intention or by nature. Torment and cruelty were in her very being, after all. "You have told Isgarren to trust me. You have paved the path forward and now you must walk on it. And I think you are afraid to take the first step."

Lucas raised one shoulder and lowered it again. "You and your kind aren't as special as you think," he said coolly. "I've stepped onto many roads with death at the end of them. And I haven't flinched. If you're worried that I'll turn my back on you...don't be. When I give my word, I keep it. When the fight for your people comes, I'll be there."

There was a short silence. He was almost certain she was there with him in person, now; he could feel those glowing eyes burning into the back of his head. "What, then?" she finally asked, and he was surprised to realize that even the taunting tone was gone now. It was an honest question looking for an honest answer.

Were it anyone else, he might have even thought she was worried about him.

He shook his head slightly, hunched his shoulders and leaned forward, watching the lazy path of a bird circling among the stone arches below. He didn't mean to answer, so he was rather surprised to hear his own voice emerging anyway, distracted and distant.

"I had-- have-- many friends, back in Tyria. A team. Good people. They don't know about any of this. I've been gone for weeks now. They think I've just...vanished."

All the people he cared about, gone in an instant when he fell into that first rift in Gendarran Fields. Did Braham think, after all their strife, that he had simply disappeared? Did Taimi think he had abandoned her as her disease reached its ending stages? Did Rama and Gorrik and the others in Cantha think he cared nothing for their rebuilding?

And Canach...

His throat convulsed as he swallowed, and he squeezed his eyes shut again, grinding one fist into the opposite palm. He had been ready, only a few days before everything changed, to find an airship back to Cantha, to find Canach and put it all before him, to lay out everything he had realized in those chaotic dark hours in the Delves when everything had felt at its lowest. To say, I see now...I see that it's been you all along. I have been so lonely in the crash from one crisis to the next, but it has been you, the whole time, and I was too blind to see it. And if you'll have me now, I'm yours...

And then the rift appeared and the wizards caught him up in their war. And now he was a world away in that strange windless sky, with death and terror ahead of him, and despite the new comrades in arms that he had found, the sense of solitude, of desolation, was absolute.

"They think I disappeared. Left my duties and my loyalties and just…fled. Because of you and your kind, and the destruction you threatened.” A hint of accusation, of resentment, quickly controlled and bottled away. “Because another fight needed winning.”

The demon made a soft, thoughtful sound low in her throat. "You are not a prisoner here, Wayfinder. I do not think they would stop you, if you decided to go." 

“You would,” he said.

She laughed harshly, a strange shuddering sound inlaid on itself until it rang in his head. “I would try. You are my only hope. But even I do not know if I could stop you. I have put my trust in this fragile thing, this peace, just as you have.”

Silence. He swallowed, leaned forward to rest the heels of his palms against his temples.

She continued, almost gentle, but as implacable as steel. “So why do you stay?” The whisper slid through him like the blade of a knife.

He shuddered, drew in a hoarse breath that was almost a sob. “Because I can’t turn away. I can’t… for so long now, it’s been all there is to me. Another fight to win, another war to shoulder. It’s who I am… ” A terrifying void stretched in place of his purpose and identity if he left before this was finished. He could picture it, and it frightened him beyond measure. “They’re good people, here. They need my help. I can’t abandon them too.”

Perhaps if it were just him, he would have reached out, found a way to send a message, to tell the others where he’d gone. But it was not his secret to tell, and he did not know enough to be able to predict the consequences of more people, even those he most trusted, knowing about the Kryptis and the threat they posed. “So I’m here. Until it’s over, or I’m dead,” he finished flatly.

She said nothing for a little while, and he finally turned his head enough to see her out of the corner of his eye. She was standing leaned against the sloping wall that led to the spire’s peak, and there was something…appraising in that cold gaze as she watched him.

“What we fight against - the dissolution of my people - is of the greatest importance,” she finally said, and even though he could see her lips move, the words still echoed in his mind. “But if it is within my power, you will not die. And those you have left will see you again.”

He smiled faintly, without humor. “I don’t flatter myself that my life is more valuable than your success,” he said. “Or that your compassion isn’t calculated. But if I die and Tyria lives, then the price is fair.”

Please… he wanted to say. Please do not tell me that. Do not let me hope for things that may never come back to me. If I look away from the path long enough to stumble…

She tilted her head, and he wondered if she still saw enough into his mind to read it all. Some strange emotion lurked under the pale glow of her eyes, something almost like sadness. “Even a creature from the depths of Nayos knows when it owes a debt, Wayfinder,” she said. Then the moment of sincerity passed, and her lips curled in a smirk. “Besides - you are no use to me lost in despair.”

He scowled and turned away. “I will be there when the battle begins. Have no fear,” he said bitterly. “For now…just leave me alone.” Silence. He didn’t turn to look; he knew she had gone as he asked. But her voice still lingered in his mind with a parting shot. “Alone you shall be, then. It will not bring them back to you.”

[steamishot]

pottery week 1/6

i attended my first wheel throwing class this past sunday, and it kicked my butt. i went in there without doing any prior research, video watching, and had 0 experience in wheel throwing. i was more nervous about being in a classroom setting in person again after what felt like forever. there are 5 people in the class and one sensei. there's one white guy (outside of our sensei), and 4 asian girls including me LOL.

i should note that i attended a drop in modern dance class on presidents' day with T & S which was pretty out of my comfort zone, but easier because i went with friends. another side note: both T & S went back to their respective countries last week. T just got her citizenship recently, but had to delay her trip to vietnam due to passport issues. S's grandma passed away in taiwan so the trip was under sad circumstances.

similar to dance class, wheel throwing involves a lot of steps. however, dissimilar to modern class, we were unable to practice each step piece by piece. there were about 12 steps to making a cup and the instructor went through them very quickly. he offered hands on assistance to each individual, but by the time we reached the last step, i had already forgotten steps 2-3 lol. some of the other people had experience in pottery already, and i was the least knowledgable one. i had social anxiety when people asked questions my way and i was like idk...

during our first class, we went over kikuneri, a japanese kneading technique and how to throw off the hump, meaning we can make multiple pieces from a single large hump of clay in one sitting. we used a thread to cut our pieces off from the hump. i remember feeling really embarrassed during the independent work time, because i had forgotten the steps and i was unable to make a cup like the others were. i meekly walked up to the instructor and asked if he could demonstrate the steps to me again. the instructor sensed i was stressed and reminded me to have fun. he kindly sent me the notes after class.

although i was really looking forward to ceramics class, i'm now a bit intimidated and felt defeated after my first try. i realized i had grown so accustomed to learning from a screen that i totally blank/feel anxious when i have a live person teaching me. i realized it's actually really helpful to be able to watch recorded videos because you can pause and rewatch as many times as you'd like. the good thing is that with our class membership, we're free to go to the studio anytime to practice. i plan on going there maybe 1-2 additional times per week outside of scheduled class.

furthermore, i was a little too shy to talk to the people in my class. but hopefully i'll come out of my shell a bit more. from the looks of it, i'm the second oldest as the other people look like they're in their 20s. immediately after i came home, i started binge watching youtube videos (florian gadsby, woah) on wheel throwing and put a few books on hold so i can get up to speed. i also purchased an apron to wear in class. wish me luck on the weeks to come lol.

other life updates:

no success on any job searching yet. matt recently interviewed with recruiters out in bakersfield and oceanside. everything about the job seems to be great in bakersfield, besides the location. the oceanside work conditions were meh. we're both willing to live in bakersfield temporarily if he gets a job offer. additionally, there are per diem openings with harbor which matt can interview for. COH had explicitly told matt he didn't make it to the finalists, but that his info will be kept on file. we got ghosted by UCLA and UCI. and USC/la general seems to be stringing us along. hope that they have an answer soon, even if it's a no.

R&T have been our consistent friends. they hangout very casually/LA style where it's slow paced and elongated (as opposed to the NYer friends who are more fast paced and busy). they really treat our place like theirs lol. however, they may be leaving even sooner than september due to the dallas job. it's up in the air currently.

matt had his bottom two wisdom teeth taken out and spent about a week recovering/eating soft foods. he has had infections happening on and off for years and finally got it addressed :( the good thing about this is that finally it's been addressed and he's closer to a healthier weight with a restricted diet

i did early spring cleaning and threw out a lot of shit. we purchased an additional plastic drawer and omg i can access all my clothes more easily now.

my dad, SIL and niece will be going to cambodia late march

we watched american fiction in theaters with R&T. initially felt the film was a little slow and disappointed issa rae had such little screen time, but thought the movie overall was great

i sent my texan aunt a nice little "made in brooklyn" goodies box - with the chocolate room snacks and a candle set from apotheke.

the new MUJI duvet cover and insert have really grown on me and are getting more comfortable by the day

went in for an eye exam at a local place and enjoyed "being part of the city". i ordered sunglasses from warby parker as my vision insurance partially covers frames this year.

[slimeywooper]

Labmas AU - Unintended Consequences

Chapter 16 Part 2 - Event Horizon

The alarm jerks you awake. Sometime between the bouts of weeping, drifting in and out of sleep, and now, you must have been cognizant enough to set your clock, though you don't remember doing so. It doesn't really matter what time you get to the laboratory. Kudari can't be punished because of you anymore. Still, you should at least arrive right when you're supposed to, so Colress isn't angered to an even greater degree than he already is. His good mood is imperative for you to see Kudari, unless you ask Nobori to help sneak you into his room.

You get dressed reluctantly, throwing on your lab coat last. Skipping breakfast, you go straight to the elevator, exiting into the reception room after the ride. Marcello is only given a small nod today, as you go through the door and beeline for the next elevator. Colress is usually in the reception room waiting for you, or he tells you where to meet him. Yesterday, he was so pissed he just ordered you to leave. If he isn't right around this area, he may be fuming in his office. As much as you didn't want to go there, that was a better bet than wandering around searching for him, potentially upsetting him even more for wasting time. Taking the next elevator to the second floor, you exit, taking a left, then turning the corner. Colress is spotted right outside his office, having a heated discussion with Nobori. You immediately slow down, not wanting to interrupt.

"Nobori, please," Colress pleads. "It's not an optimal outcome, but there's no other way. We all need this." Shifting gears, he speaks pragmatically. "I'll let you deliberate for now, but it's not something that will change. I expect your full cooperation tonight."

"So soon? Is there no way we can postpone it?" Nobori sounds as if he has been blindsided by this information.

Colress answers by shaking his head, not breaking eye contact.

Wearing an anguished expression, Nobori mumbles, "Understood. I will contemplate this. You may page me with the time you wish to commence." After his affirmation, he vanishes.

When you approach Colress, he turns and greets you as if nothing happened, "Hello, (Y/N)."

"Is everything all right?" you ask, knowing you aren't going to get an adequate answer.

"Positively wonderful," Colress informs you, with no smile present. "Now for today…" he continues speaking, but you aren't paying attention. This is the first time you've seen Nobori teleport. Something must have really upset him to get that kind of reaction. Refocusing on what Colress is saying, he ends with, "…we can head there now."

"Before we go," you interject, "I need to ask you something. Don't worry, I'm not going to try and talk you into letting Kudari work again. But I have to make a request that you let me visit him."

His response is quick and blunt, "Why would I allow that? He was absolutely heartbroken yesterday. Besides that, Nobori let me in on the details of the conversation that I wasn't present for." He's solely concentrating on his tablet, shaking his head as he speaks.

Great, so he does know most everything that was said, including the desire of Kudari's to escape. Colress probably bullied the answers out of Nobori. "I just want to make sure he knows I never planned to hurt him."

Colress exhales sharply, lifting his head to face you. "Give him a few days to think it through. I'm sure he's deeply embarrassed from the whole situation. I did everything I could to prevent something like this, but it happened anyway. I should never have let…" He stops himself, shifting the topic back, "It's useless to think of 'what ifs.' As I said, wait a few days, give him time to cool off, then I'll let you speak with him."

You don't want to wait, but perhaps it would be for the best. Kudari was very upset, he likely doesn't want to see you right now, anyway. Hopefully he will realize that it really was just a misunderstanding.

Restarting the original discussion, Colress says, "Alright, we'll head to the entrance and you can replace Marcus at the reception desk, then I'll lead him back up to Plasma headquarters."

"Marcus? Do you mean Marcello?" It really shouldn't come as a surprise that Colress doesn't know the names of all of the people he works with, but it still irks you. He literally sees this man a few days a week.

"Marcello?" Pondering for a moment, he then shrugs, "Whoever it is that's there, that's who you are replacing."

"Okay, and why is he going to headquarters?" you inquire.

His face shifts with impatience, "As I just told you, we're implementing some changes to our laboratory policies. He and his coworkers that watch the entrance are all having further training on these policies."

"What exactly are the changes?" Now you're curious, and regret not paying attention when he started his explanation.

Brushing past you on his way towards the elevator, he calls back, "You'll find out when I have a moment to spare, as of right now, that's not happening. Let's go."

Following behind him, you both make the journey to the first floor, Colress solely invested in his tablet, and you silently looking over to him every now and then.

When the door to the reception area is opened, Colress orders, "Marcello, you're coming with me. (Y/N) here will be taking your place. There's something we need to discuss at headquarters."

Marcello looks between the two of you, before announcing, "You're the boss." Standing up, he walks out from behind the desk.

"It's all yours, (Y/N). We'll be back down in a little bit. Don't have too much fun." Colress tells you, with a blank expression.

They board the elevator, leaving you staring at the spot they just left. You snap out of your fixed gaze and settle yourself in the seat on the other side of the desk, placing your phone on the obscured shelf underneath it. The day progresses slowly, and isn't anything other than boring. Perhaps you should be thankful for that.

After a couple hours, they show up again. When Marcello takes his place at the desk once more, Colress dismisses you, "Thank you, (Y/N). You're free to return to your room. I have nothing else for you to do right now. Have a good day."

Somewhat confused, you prod, "That wasn't much work, are you sure you don't need help with anything else?" The only times your shifts have ever been this short are when something bad or unexpected happened.

He gives a curt nod, "Yes, I'm sure."

"Alright, I'll just drop off my lab coat, then be on my way." You make to go back through the door, but Colress holds out an arm to stop you.

"That really isn't necessary," he comments, giving you an emotionless glare that let's you know you should leave while you have the chance.

"O-okay. I'll see you tomorrow." You wave to the both of them and call the elevator, feeling their eyes on your back. When it arrives, you bolt inside and hit the first floor button. As the doors close, you can see Colress is still staring at you, that same distant look on his face.

Feeling shaken from the encounter, you decide to have something tasty to eat, in an attempt to settle your nerves. Lingering on the first floor of headquarters, you place an order for delivery from the same restaurant you ate from on the day you were pining for Nobori. Waiting by the entrance, you thank the delivery person, then head upstairs to your room, so you can sit down and enjoy it. After arriving and hanging your lab coat, you bring the food to the table and retrieve a fork, beginning to eat.

The strange interaction with Colress keeps replaying in your mind, as you take slow bites. Obviously he is still angry with you for what happened, but when you were leaving, his expression wasn't that of anger. It was something that you can't quite pinpoint. It must have to do with the conversation you witnessed him having earlier. If possible, you will try to speak with Nobori tomorrow. You'll be able to ask what it was about, and find out just how sad Kudari is. This will better help you navigate how to go about cheering him up. In just a few days, you'll get to see him again. Hopefully he will have calmed down enough to at least listen to you.

Finishing the last of your meal, you throw the container in the trash and put the fork in the sink. Entering the bedroom, you turn on your Switch, and wait for the game to load. It serves to get your mind off of everything and to give you something to talk about with Kudari when you visit him. After you explain yourself and things go back to normal, that is. Or at least as close to normal as they can be. You won't have him as your work partner anymore, but he will hopefully agree to remain friends, and you can hang out when you have time.

You'll be patient, there's no other option. Just a few days to survive, then you can talk to him and tell him how much his friendship means to you. Perhaps Nobori can even join you two and play some games. When you told him you wanted to be a good friend to Kudari as he is to you, you meant it. Even if he's still upset, he'll come around. Sometimes he has trouble controlling his emotions, but he has a good heart. Smiling at the thought of his excitement at any little thing, you decide to play as many different games as you can, anticipating telling him all the details and strategies you employed. Eventually settling in for the night, you fall asleep with visions of his smile filling your mind, interspersed with his laughter.

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 6: Time Loop Ch 3 Excerpt

Aaaah, I'm tired. Had a day today. Started out very anxious, was almost toooo productive at work, spent a good chunk of time on my way home getting way too into this idea for a Daria fic that I probably won't write but sort of want to write but definitely don't know how to write... we'll see.

Hopefully I'll have a more normal day tomorrow and also an earlier night--as I say every evening.

Here's an excerpt from the Time Loop--Chapter 3 coming soon!

*

She tugs at Murphy's jacket. "Let's go," she orders, and he murmurs a low whatever you say, like he's under the impression she likes his subservience. They take the path going straight, don't turn until they hit the second intersection, and only then, properly hidden between the towering, green-yellow stalks, does she let go of him and put some space between them.

"You don't need to be in such a hurry to ditch me," Murphy grumbles, rolling his shoulders like their awkward, three-legged monster routine gave him a crick in his neck. She hasn't paused in the slightest, so he has to jog to catch up to her. "You're not a fan of corn mazes, are you?"

"I'm more of an open-spaces person," she answers, which isn't an admission.

"Got it." He lets her get a few paces ahead on the narrow, dirt path, then reaches out for her wrist—not her hand but just her wrist, over her jacket sleeve, half-swings her around and slows her down. "Pump the breaks, Speed Racer. Don't want you burning out too fast."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Means if you keep picking random paths and going down them full speed ahead, we're going to be here a while. Come on." He lets go of her wrist, bumps his shoulder against hers instead, a gesture that makes them feel like old friends. His smile is crooked and annoyingly endearing. Only half meaning to, she lets her step fall in with his.

"So you know how to get out of here?" she asks, after a moment.

"No. Not really. But there's probably a trick. You'll figure it out if you get out of your own head."

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Key to Your Heart (Part 12 of 18)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader | The Winter Soldier X Reader

Chapter word count: 2.4 K

Summary: Joining the Avengers wasn't on your plans. Not until Steve asked you to help his best friend. Bucky was Bucky, but the Winter Soldier still came from time ti time, bringing with him chaos and destruction. And you was supposed to keep that side of him away... But what happens when both Bucky and the Winter Soldier start to enjoy your company more than anyone else? Should you turn your back on the Soldier, ignore his own fears and traumas? That's exactly what everyone wants. But you were never known for following orders...

<- Previous part (11)

Next part -> (13)

{Marvel Masterlist}

Beating Together

You're frozen, his last sentence echoing through your mind.

There's an answer on the tip of your tongue, but there's a lot to consider, and the first thing is that there's also Bucky on the mix. He's been... Close to you. Very close. But you never spoke about a romantic relationship with him, despite how you feel around him. And how you think he feels around you.

“Soldier, we have to talk about it.” You mutter, rubbing your forehead. “There's the other guy too. And–”

“Is it a no?”

“Yes. No. Wait.” Taking a deep breath, you push yourself into a sitting position. “That's too abrupt, Soldier. I lo–I love being around you.” Thank God you corrected yourself in time before saying something very, very dangerous. “But we have to talk about this. You're acting on an impulse.”

“I'm a grown man, I know what I do.” He stands up, and the sudden loss of proximity gives you an abandonment feeling. “I got it, (Y/N).”

“Soldier–”

“I'll let the others come inside. Your friends and family want to see you, I believe.”

“Soldier, don't–” But when he opens the door, a small crowd comes in, all of them wanting to know how you feel.

You feel fine. Well, given your state, you're fine. But, as you speak with everyone, you can't help but keep looking at the door, restless.

“(Y/N)?” Nat says, getting your attention.

“Yeah? Sorry.” You mutter, clearing your throat, smiling at her. “So, we're like sisters now. Blood sisters.”

“I guess we are.” She smiles, taking your hand in hers. “You did well out there.”

“She's right. You made the correct decisions, and despite being beaten up a little, you managed to find your fighting style.” Steve adds, and you smile at him.

“Thank you, guys. Hopefully, I'll be up in a while and back into the game soon enough.”

“Take it slow, (Y/N). The only reason you're not in pain is because of the heavy painkillers.” Your brother makes the favor of reminding you. “It'll take a while, but yes, you'll be up and giving us a hard time again soon enough.”

“A hard time? Who said I have to be up to give you a hard time?” You snap back, giggling at Steve's face.

During the following days, you're never alone. There's always someone with you in the hospital room, chatting, watching something, or playing games. Even Thor came to check on you. He said Heimdall told him about what happened, and he came as soon as he could.

You do like the attention, but the Soldier is worrying you. After he left and Bucky came back, there was whole new chaos when he saw you on that hospital bed. Ever since it's been Bucky. You love having him here, and it's a confusing, odd sensation to have one here and miss the other when both live in the same body. In the same mind and soul.

But you try not to think about it. At least not now, with Bucky lying next to you in the hospital bed, your head on his shoulder. “I don't get why you like this so much. It's a TV show about an extremely toxic work environment.” He says, still trying to get over the fact you've been making him watch The Office all day long.

“It's a comedy, first of all, and it's supposed to be this... Crazy. And it's just about some normal people and some crazy people trying to live in harmony and get some work done.” You explain, shrugging your shoulders.

“Nobody there is normal. They're not working and they're not in harmony.”

You can't help but laugh at that, raising your head to look at him. “But it's like us in a way.”

“You're comparing this to the Avengers?” He raises an eyebrow, and then his expression softens. “Alright, I can see some similarities.”

“Like when we prank Sam. That would go viral in less than a minute.”

“Why haven't we posted any of that yet? F.R.I.D.A.Y. has the footage.”

“Don't give me ideas.” You laugh a little harder this time, and it makes you feel a sting on your side. “Ouch.” You complain, rolling your eyes.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah. But they've been lowering the dose of the painkillers every day, so...” Moving a little to get comfortable, you sigh. “I must be the most boring person in the world right now. It's been ten days and I'm still stuck here.”

“You're not boring.”

“Yes, I am.” Crossing your arms, you sigh. “I do nothing but lie here, watch TV and complain about how bored I am.”

“Well, I love lying here with you to watch TV and to hear you complain. So I guess that makes me a boring person too. I like spending time with you, it doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing.”

Blushing, you turn your head to look at him, a shy smile on your lips. “Me too. You're making these boring times very pleasant.” For some reason, you catch him glimpsing at your lips. It's fast, but you notice it. “What, Bucky?”

“Nothing. Let's pay attention, that guy is doing something crazy.”

“Why do you always do that?” You inquire, voice sounding a little sad, even though that was not your intention.

“Do what?”

“Sometimes it just feels like you push me away. And it... It just doesn't feel nice.” Shrugging your shoulders, you sit up, resting your back against the pillows as he does the same.

“I'm not trying to push you away, I'm just trying to keep you at a... Safe distance.”

“And what the hell do you mean by that?”

“(Y/N), I... I'm complicated. Everything about me is complicated and I don't want to drag you along with me.”

Gasping, you chuckle. “So you're choosing for me.”

“No, I'm trying to keep you safe.”

“No, you're deciding for me.” Turning your body towards him, you bite back a groan. “Bucky, I'm well aware of how complicated things are. Damn it, I'm the one dealing with the Winter Soldier, and he loves me, okay? So it's not up to you. Your part is to show me all the implications, and I'll choose if I... if I like you enough to see through everything. And I do, I... I really like you, Bucky. So please, don't make the decisions for me. You choose what you want, I'll choose what I want, and if those two things are aligned, then we see what happens.”

Bucky stares at you, silent for a while. “And what is it you want?” You can feel tension and fear in his voice, and even some... Sadness.

Taking a deep breath, you touch his cheek. “Bucky, I... I really like you. More than just friends. And I get it that you like things slow, I like it that way too but... I need to know if you feel the same way or if I should just let it go.” You know about the Soldier's feelings... But what about Bucky's? What if the Soldier loves you, but Bucky doesn't? What happens then? What would you do? You can't have one without the other.

“I like you too, (Y/N), but I'm... I'm constantly scared that I'll hurt you. The metal arm is–”

“I'm not scared of the metal arm. It's part of you, and I like it as much as I like you.” To make your point, you touch the arm, softly, caressing it. Taking his hand, you place a kiss on it. “I want you to touch me. And if you need time to get used to it, I'll wait. I'll wait for as long as you want.”

Then, he smiles. And it's the most beautiful smile you've ever seen.

This is true, real love. It happens fast and slowly at the same time, and it's a hell of confusion. Even more in your unique situation. You love both, and maybe, if you get the key to both their hearts, they'll love you.

“Let's give it a try then. Slowly.”

“Slowly.” You agree, lying back down, resting against his chest.

Two days later, you took a shower in the hospital area and put on your normal clothes. You're allowed to go back to your normal life as long as you rest. A lot. And you do have a lot of superheroes who will make sure you'll do exactly that.

Gathering your things and putting them into a bag, you see someone approaching through the corner of your eyes. Turning at the door, you see Bucky. Well, not Bucky, the Soldier. It's amazing how easily you can tell one from the other.

You're immediately happy to see him again, so you let go of your things, walking over to him. “Hi. How have you been?” You ask, a bright smile on your lips.

“Are you discharged?” He simply asks, looking down at you.

“Yes. I'm going back to my room. Let's go.” Ignoring how odd he is, you go back for the bag, putting it on your shoulder.

“Is it heavy?”

“No. Soldier what–”

“I just came to see if you were better. Now that you are, and that you made it clear that you don't want anything to do with me, I'll go.”

He doesn't even give you a chance to think or even process the information. The Soldier just leaves, and for a moment, you're stuck there, eyebrows furrowed, trying to get what he means.

But then, you're in a rush.

He disappeared, vanished, as you run through the halls. You hear many of the doctors telling you to stop, but you don't give a damn. You know where his going, and you need to reach him in time. So you use all the strength you can find, and when you bolt into a full run, there's a sting on your side, and soon enough you start feeling the humidity.

You're bleeding when you reach the garage, and everything you see is him speeding away on his bike. “Damn it.” You thank the heavens for whoever had the idea of having a copy of the keys of some of the cars here, those who don't really have an owner. Taking the first key you can reach, you run for the car, unlocking it and basically jumping inside, starting the engine, and driving off.

It doesn't take much until you're in the streets, but you only spot him because you're driving insanely fast, dangerously even, and in the middle of the sea of cars that take over every street in New York. Thankfully, it's not the rush hours, but still, there are a lot of cars. Rolling the window down, you shout, yelling his name at the top of your lungs. You see a movement, his head lightly turning to the side when he hears you. Smiling, a little relieved, you step on it, making the car complain.

But suddenly, a car gets in your way, and you hit the breaks, forcing the car to stop violently. You hit your head on the steering wheel, and a sharp pain spreads through your skull. And your side hurts too, and when you touch it, you feel blood soaking through your shirt.

“What the hell do you think you're doing, bitch?” A voice yells, too close, and you notice you blacked out for a few seconds. Looking through the window, you see a very angry man, basically shoving his head inside the car. “You could've gotten me killed! What were you thinking?”

“I–” You're ready to apologize when the man is gone, lifted from the ground as if by magic, thrown away. Then, another man shows up, but his features make you smile and cry at the same time. “Soldier.” You mutter, and it almost sounds like a cry.

He looks down at you, worried, sad, broken even. “Come.” The Soldier pulls the door open, and it doesn't resist, despite still being locked. “You're hurt.”

“Soldier.” Stepping out of the car, you fall into his arms, holding him close against your body. “Please, don't leave me.” It takes you by surprise how needy you feel. How much you need him. The very thought of losing him, not having him around to hug you, hold you, touch you... And if he feels the same way, you can only imagine how you must've broken his heart.

“(Y/N), you're bleeding.” He mutters, strong hands holding your smaller figure. “We need to take you back.”

“No, listen.” You beg, pulling away just enough to look into his eyes. Cupping his face, you curse yourself when you get some blood on his cheek. “You can't leave me, Soldier. I need you. And Bucky. I need both of you with me.”

“I thought you didn't want me.” He replies, a hand on your now reopened wound, making pressure on it to help with the blood. “And if you don't want me, I–”

“Yes.” You burst out, the same answer you wanted to give him the moment he asked it. “I want you. It's... It's complicated but I love you, this whole thing just showed me how much I do, please... Please, Soldier.” Crying, you rest your head on his chest. Your heart is beating fast, and so is his. Like this, it kinda feels like both your hearts are beating together.

“Alright then, angel.” He says, caressing your hair.

Nodding, you look up at him again. “S-so you won't leave?” Stuttering, you smile when he slowly shakes his head no.

“I'll never leave you.” The Soldier leans down, and before you can understand what he's doing, he captures your lips into a passionate kiss. It begins slowly as if he's waiting for you to decide if you want this. And you do. So you're quick to kiss him back, moving your lips at his pace, until you get a little too needy, parting your lips more to deepen the kiss, to let him in.

And feeling him, his taste, is heaven. Your pain is forgotten because you could kiss him forever. And hopefully, you will.

@hi-im-fan-trash @takeabreathdeath @pre-google @thespeeder @heavenly1927 @marvel-fanfic-writer-8675 @insidxangel @winters1917 @plethoravellichor @meggiesposts @hollie911 @saranghaey @lexi-anastasia @lechaircharles @mememe7147 @sofi1sstuff @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @sophiaj650 @michaelmyerswife @wigglywoos59

[fangirl-everythang]

Mirrors C.T.H

Summary: Calum and Y/n's schedules haven't lined up in a while. When they finally do, Calum decides to try a reflective persuasion if you will.

Warnings: Daddy Kink, Swearing, Spit, Slapping( well maybe one), Just lots of smut.

Word Count: 2691

A/N: This was inspired by @ContentCalum on Instagram. 10/10 recommend for short blurbs. (ALSO posted on Wattpad)

Can't wait to see you, princess, xxx.

That was the last text I got from Calum after he told me he was coming home. Today was my day off so I spent the day doing some housework. The four of them really do a number when they're together. Recently our schedules haven't been matching and I rarely see him. Just brief periods between my early work schedule and his unpredictable night/ whenever the fuck Michael wakes up studio times haven't left us much time together.

While that's in the oven I can shower. Deciding against pajamas I just grab one of Calums shirts because it smells just like him. Usually, I wouldn't wear a bra but a bralette won't hurt. With the hot steam rolling down the sides of the shower,  I let the water hit my sore muscles. Work has been overly stressful. Between this new launch and creating a new marketing scheme, you would think we were planning the Met Gala. Putting those thoughts work thoughts aside, lathering and scrubbing every area of my body that has seen this house today. Afterward gotta lotion up because ashyness is not an option, sliding on the matching lace panties and Calums shirt that comes down to my mid-thigh.

Going back downstairs to turn the oven off I get started on the sides. Cauliflower mac and cheese isn't as bad as it seems, hopefully. "Duke do you think your daddy will notice?" He looks at me with those cute eyes, not a care in the world, guess not. The sound of the door opening has Duke happily barking and running away from me. Following not too far behind our fury son I see Calum kneel next to Duke.

"Hey Bud, did you miss me?" he asks playfully petting the sweet creature. He cuddles into Calum further when he looks up at me, "Hi princess."

"You know I think it's unfair when you ask Duke does he miss you when I'm standing right here." I grin. He stands up grabbing my waist "Well I know you missed me love." he smiles.

"Did I? You're kind of annoying." He gasps playfully holding his heart. Leaning my head back I reach up to kiss him. He takes his time bringing his lips to mine so I put my hands on his cheek and bring him closer. His soft lips against mine send me into a frenzy. God, I've missed him like crazy. Parting all too soon he leans his forehead on mine. "I love you." he rasps.

"I love you too bub." I grin going back into the kitchen. "Did you want to eat first or?" I ask looking at him questioningly.

"It's 4 pm Y/n." he chuckles. Well, we can eat later then, he concludes.

"Well, it's our first time together in forever, what now?" He has a smirk on his face and reaches for my wrist. "What is it Cal?"  he walks away and up the stairs leaving me to follow him. I should turn the oven off. Glancing over to Duke he's in his little bed laying down. Being so cute I had to take a picture...or three. Taking my time up the stairs to admire the pictures of the cute doggo, "Cal look at these pictures of Du-What are you doing?" He continues to play with the reflective furniture.

"Do you know how good you look in the mirror? I couldn't stop thinking about all the dirty pictures you sent me," He stares at me through the mirror. "You're lucky I wasn't here babygirl." My cheeks flush as he pushes me closer to see our reflections dancing in the mirror with a tight hold on my hips.

"You're my distraction," he whispers as he slowly begins sucking underneath my ear, leaving kisses down my neck. My heart rate increases as his tongue touches a sensitive spot, shivers running down my spine. "As much as I want to tell you how beautiful you are, well you've been a bad girl hmm?" His hand lightly trails across my neck, his eye contact never leaving as he snakes his other hand towards my front over my clothed womanhood. "Answer me." His grip becoming more firm on my neck.

"Yes daddy." he hums in approval as he lifts his shirt above his head exposing his tan torso. "Look at how sexy you are baby." but he didn't seem satisfied when my eyes stay glued to the ground. He could have any girl he wanted and yet he chose me. I'm not skinny whatsoever. I have more tits than ass and rolls for days. The stretchmarks that litter my body don't bother me but most aspects of everything else does. His hand reaches for my hair in a tight fist forcing me to look up at our reflection, my core aching at the sudden pull.  "I'm speaking to you." he says very sternly, "I guess I'll just have to make you listen."

Stripping himself of his pants and sitting on the edge of the bed right in front of the mirror he opens his legs and pats me over. "Sit." I obey him, anticipation building in my core. His hands roam my body freely lingering wherever they please. He begins attacking my neck slowly dragging his finger across my thigh "Look at you, acting like a good girl hmm?" he moves the cotton fabric up to my waist giving him a view of my panties from the mirror "'gonna be good for daddy?"

I nod silently, he shakes his head in a disapproving manner. "Use your words Love."

"I'll be good for you daddy." he hums in approval, spreading my legs apart. He traces his finger along the outskirts of my panties, my hips thrusting lightly "excited now are we?" he smirks looking at the wet spot through the mirror. Calum slides the thin material to the side, lightly grazing my clit. My eyes momentarily closing at the brief touch before his other calloused hand reaches up, grabbing my jaw, forcing me to to look up. "You're going to watch as I tease your cunt. You're going to cum on my fingers, then you'll watch as I devour your pussy. Close your eyes even once and I'll force another out of you. Got it?" He has a fire blazing behind his golden-brown orbs.

"Yes sir." nodding along as his fingers begin tapping on my clit. "Good girl," he whispers before dipping his middle finger into my sex, the digit easily slipping in. "Nuh that way." he reminds me once more to look up into the mirror. The glass allowing me to see everything at once, the way he looks at me hungrily, his slender finger shining with my arousal. I can see his other hand going to reach for my breast before I feel it, the mere fact causing a moan to leave my lips.

"Awwwe you like watching yourself being played with huh?" he maintains eye contact with me through the mirror, as he adds another finger into my throbbing hole. His length pressing into my back, hardening with every sound from my mouth. "Rub your clit y/n."

My hand following his orders adding more sensation to my building orgasm. The scene before me so pleasingly intimate and erotic.  "Cal I'm goin-" My back arching into him as my orgasm takes complete control of my body, his eyes on me every step of the way.

He brings his fingers to my lips, allowing me to taste myself, whimpering himself when I take his fingers into my mouth, sucking them as if they were his member.  I release them, clean, turning to face him.  "I thought I told you-" I lean forward straddling his waist, kissing him roughly. "I know but I want to please you too Cal." Before he can respond I gently slip off the bed, face to groin. I pull down his boxers just enough to release his straining cock, gently stroking it in my palm.  "Let me take care of you," I smile at him, pressing a kiss to the side of his shaft "Please daddy." He groans, swiping his thumb over my lip and nodding. We've been apart far too long, aching to taste him once more.

I lick his shaft, tasting his pre-cum on my tongue, he lets out a sigh of relief, embedding his hand through my hair.  "Mhmmm just like that princess." He moans as I take most of him in my mouth, cupping his balls and pressing my forefinger lightly on the skin between the two. The feeling of him in my mouth forces my mind to wonder about him being inside of me, stretching me in the best of ways, a moan finds its way out from my throat around Calum causing his hips to thrust more. I clench my thighs together to provide some friction for my thoughts, I reach my hand between my legs relieving myself from all the arousal. "Get up." he demands, seeming almost angry. Not wanting to question him I rise confused by the sudden change of tone, knowing better than to say anything.

He removes any fabric left covering my body aggressively, not saying a word.  Pushing me back till my knees cave against the bed causing me to fall back onto our shared mattress. He places himself between my legs, rubbing his length along my core painfully slow. "Please, I need you Cal."  He continues gazing at me through his lust filled orbs, desire seeping from his pores. He pushes his tip in and then taking it out, the feeling gone as soon as it had appeared. A whine erupted from my lips, he chuckled to himself. "Remind me again y/n," he states in a hushed tone, "Are you to touch yourself without my permission?" He looks at me, his finger dancing over my sensitive nub but neglecting it furthermore. Accepting my silence for an answer, "And yet you did." His head dips down encapsulating my nipple in his mouth, a breathy moan leaving my lips as his hands roam my body freely. My hips thrusting trying to create some- any friction. "Cal I won't do it ever again, just please- please fuck me daddy. " A stinging on my cheek causing a gasp to leave my lips, surprised by this side of Calum. Still shocked, he places his hand firmly on my cheek pushing my face into the mattress. The only thing in view is the mirror with his gorgeously tanned tattooed body on top of mine, hand still placed on my face. He leans in dangerously close, moving a strand of hair aside slowly, his fingertip leaving the slightest touch before putting his hand back with the same pressure as before, "Now watch sweetheart." he darkly whispers.

Before I could question it his entire length thrust in me at once, a broken moan escaping me. With the side view, I can see him pounding into me, each thrust harder than the last. "Fuck- so wet hmmm, such a good whore." he moans, I nod under his hand clenching walls around him, tilting my pelvis to meet his. He removes his hand from my face to apply pressure to my clit, hitting a particularly blissful combination.  "Fuck Cal right there!" I scream as the bedrocks underneath our sweaty bodies. He slows his movements savoring the view before him, his good girl-now fucking onto him, desperate for release. Her hair frizzy, eyes fluttering from excessive pleasure, he never wanted it to end. "I love you y/n."

"I love you too Calum." I reach up grabbing his neck to pull him back to me, our lips meeting once more passionately while he thrust into me again. He presses my body closer to his as my legs wrap around him for dear life, my hands holding onto his as if he'd disappear. "Can I cum please?"  He grunts, nodding his head in approval of my very much needed release. Unable to focus on anything but the eruption of pleasure from my core, repeating a slur of Calums name over and over again like it is the only thing I've ever known. His release following shortly after, the warmth of his seed filling me. His panting is my focal point upon return, watching as each breath falls from his swollen plump lips. I giggle moving some of his sweat-coated hair from his face, "Welcome home Mr.Hood." He smiles laughing at my gesture, "Quite the welcome it is Miss Y/L/N" He pulls my face forward once more placing a soft kiss to my lips, which is happily returned before he pulls me to the edge of the bed, still seemingly connected, placing me dead center in front of the mirror once more. Looking at him with a curious glance, he notions to the mirror as I watch his every move. He pulls his softening member from my core, a gasp leaving my lips due to the newfound vacancy.

His eyes never leaving mine as the smirk on his face grows, kneeling between my thighs. I lean up on my forearms to see both him and the reflection better, the handsome bassist looping his arms around my legs, keeping me in place. "Look how pretty baby." He says watching our fluids drip out of me, his tone of admiration never wavering. My hips jut back as he strokes over my clit, still hyper-sensitive from the orgasm just moments before.  As I retract my pussy away from his devilish grin he rumbles a low growl, attaching his lips to my center, his wide hands gripping my hips with brisk strength-leaving prints in their path. His tongue lapping my hole over and over again. He replaces his mouth with his fingers, the scissoring motion driving me on edge once more.  He leans over me, tapping on my lips to which I comply with his wishes, opening my mouth. He smiles before releasing the cum-mixed spit down my throat, swallowing our combined fluids moaning as he returns his mouth to my pussy. My wetness glistening all over his face as he continues to but himself in me. Seeing his back muscles contract in the mirror each time he moves, watching him devour me in the most sinful of ways. I can see it all, moans leaving my lips between my pleas for him to stop his assault but nonetheless, he persists until my legs are a quivering mess around his head. My bare breast rising with every sharp inhale, my back arching further into him, hoping to get away but he keeps me planted there in front of him.

"I need to- Cal can I-I- fuck please" The words barely able to leave my lips, he stares at me nodding but never removing himself from my core. My orgasm ripples through me, forcing my body to compromise, stiffening as I release on Calum's tongue. My hips riding his tongue exactly where I need him as my fingers grip at his hair, hearing him moan at the feeling sending an aftershock of vibrations through my center.  An unholy slurping noise from Calum is the last thing to be heard as he joins me again on the bed, pulling me into him. His lips providing every emotion needed. "I missed you."

I laugh at his cute post-sex neediness, "I missed you too Cal." He pats my head, letting his hands rake through the mess of hair on top of my head as I trace over his feather tattoo. "Did I ever tell you how good you taste?" he murmurs, shrugging lightly to himself, "Fucking delicious." His hands lingering the curves of my body before he places two fingers on my clit. "No, no, no not again." I chuckle pushing him away as my body shudders from the sensation.

"Hmmm I suppose we'll have more time today." he rasps. "Indeed we will." I smile placing a kiss on his cheek. Let's just say the night was more than eventful, happy to be in each other presence again.

A/N:

WOW long time no see! I can't wait to get back into the flow of writing and now that the semester is over I have more time lol.

I hope you're all hanging in there alright!

xoxo-Janelle