#I have dumb bitch disease more at 10

[arthurtaylorlester]

malevolent ep 29 liveblog !!

(spoilers obviously)

are we underwater??

who's speaking i cant tell???

i feel like this is john @kayne but it could very well be yellow and larson

oh wait is this past dialogue?

i genuinely cant remember

oh okay its arthur remembering

"its just water" THEYRE BACK AND THEYRE BICKERING !!!

with silly music in the bg

oh exposition through john i always love it

oh they are so married

a donkey???????

this is so funny

arthur please stop groaning its...

THE FACE OF SOMEONE NOT TO FUCK WITH!!!

MUSTACHE?? harlan really just said yall wrong arthur has a mustache

john is a bitch wife comfimed/ j

A FILM????? JOHN WANTS TO SEE A FILM AND THATS WHY HES MAD !?!?!?

and john is soo petty he doesbt even want yo go to nyc

arthur having to temind john that theyre wanted

IS MALEVOLENT A COMEDY NOW???

john not tellibg arthur they were sitting next to someone the whole time

arthur spite-eating to piss of john >>>>

john are you having second thoughts??

BELLA LORE????

WE'RE MEETING DANIEL???

oh that was weird i bet its mr butcher

Oh wait violins is this mr butcher

whats the whispering in the bg

john stop describing im trying to hear the whispers

is this a kellin type?

oh he just needed to sneeze

diseased man get away from

"NOT OUR HANDKERCHIEF ARTHUR !!!"

malevolent is a comedy atp. thank you mr guthrie for this blessing of an episode

best season opener by far

"that's ... my arm, sir"

im not angry muttering i do it too lol

"hes using us as comfort? jesus christ" stfu john you did the same

wait isnt there a recession in the 1930s

OHHH THAT EXPLAINS THE READING EXCERPT

this train spunds dangerous

oh god oh fuck how is arthur going to read

arthur just what are you doing

is he just making up a story?

how he just talking about himself

QAIT IS THE FRIEND PARKER NOOOO

NO IF HES MEETING WITH PARKER HE DIED

or is this an elaborate way of telling the guy to fuck off

who sending a telegraph to 'will henley'

OH FUCK

ITS THE BUTCHER

the horror >:)

hes smiling oh this cant be good

this is really good and the sound design!!

they are so bad at communicating that they accidentally revealed their identity

WAIT WILL HENLEY IS AN ACTUAL PERSON??? ARTHUR WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

"beCAuse" IDK WHY THE WAY HE SAID THAT SO FUNNT

arthur is so smart it makes sense that the guy would try to corner him

YESS ARTHUR

I LIKE WHEN ARTHUR IS ALL CALCULATING AND SO DOES JOHN

so youre going to trap him in a train car

so arthur's escape plan is.... jump out of train. and break his legs. again.

oh snow will totally save you yeah sure

arthur just really likes playing dumb i think

now im on a train and i cant hear shit

john enjoys this?? john is excited My god he is so precioys

"You are my eyes" that had no reason to be so wholesome

"okay... youre overselling it" john critiquing arthurs acting im dead

10 more minutes will this end horribly?

I KNEW THEY WPULD BE ON THE TOP OF THE CARS

thats mad ahahhahah ... wait a damn minute

ITS MR BUTCHER

"why arent you looking at me" so he doesnt know the full extent of arthur madness

JOHN SOUNDS SO WORRIED

OH GOD THIS SO INTENSE

pov the tracks shave off his mustache

sorry this isnt the time for jokes

WHAT. HE FUCKING WHAT

HE TORE HIS CHEEK?? CALL THAT WILL GRAHAM CORE

wait imagine they become friends

it wpuld be real funny

john would be so pissed

oh god theyre going to jump off the train

THEYRE GETTIBG SIDETRACKED GODDAMNIT

okay so arthur is manipulating he is soo <33

MEMENTO MORI???

ny bbg is so good at stalling

NO ARTHUR DONT GET DISTRACTED THIS ISNT TGE TIME FOR SELF REFLECTIO

YES YOURE NOTHING LIKE HIM

HE DID IT!!

hes smiling again?

oh well he paid his respects

THAT WAS AN AMAZING EPISODE AND DAMN GOOD SEASON PREMIERE

i will be malevolent posting later today but alas i have other things to do other than screaming about fictional voices on tumblr

[bihansthot]

It’s been a min since I complained about medical BS, so I have to see this absolute idiot of a doctor who is supposedly an infectious disease specialist for my CMV infection. This dumb bitch forgot to order labs for me to get done, so she has no way to check the level of the CMV left in my body and I couldn’t do anything about it because no orders = no labs/blood work. So I had to wake up super early, drive 20 mins to the clinic only to find out this bitch forgot to put in my order. The real kicker is my nurse coordinator (the one who works with my cardiologist) sent her not one, not two but three separate reminders that they were no longer requiring me to get labs until July and that if she wanted additional testing she would have to provide the orders herself. I just cannot with this woman, I’ve talked about it before but I have a real problem with doctors or medical professionals in general who are stupider than I am. I’m supposed to have a follow up video appointment, which she rescheduled without even calling to ask if I was available on the new day and time, and I do not have the patience to deal with her. I’m sure she’s going to give me attitude for not getting the test results for her but I mean there’s nothing I can do about that, I can’t order my own lab work. The phlebotomist even tried calling her office this morning to get her to send over the orders but there was no answer. Excellent doctor 10/10 🙄 I’m just so done.

On the plus side I got another WIP image of my self ship commission and I’m super excited about it. I wish I had more money though and could commission multiple artists because there are just so many talented artists out there. I’ve also been itching to maybe get back to drawing myself but all I can really do is faces, anatomy is really hard and I’m not a trained artist so I never learned it. Maybe I’ll write something instead? More likely I will spend the afternoon on picrew and make a dump post later 🤣

Unrelated to my previous rambling it sounds like there’s a new dog in the building? They have been very vocal and Denny has been running around looking for them. It’s really cute he’s like “Mom! Mom! There’s another pupper here! Where are they? Can we play?!” It sounds like a smaller dog which might be good for Denny since he tends to get scared and easily intimidated by bigger dogs (even though he’s 85 lbs). Maybe he’ll have a new friend 🥰

[samtheflamingomain]

ode to a feline friend

My kitty is in his Golden Years. I got him as a kitten and have had him for 10 years.

While the average housecat can live closer to 20 than 10, my boy's breed, Aegean, is on the lowest end of life expectancy.

I don't often remember my dreams, but in the last year or so, since realizing the average Aegan only lives to 12, I've been having nightmares of him dying.

However, unlike many nightmares, one day, mine will come true.

But I actually didn't open this Notepad doc with the intention of lamenting the inevitable death of my cat. In a wild departure from my depressing/serious/analtical posts, I just want to list a bunch of things I love about my cat. In no particular order:

Banksy is a needy little bitch. If a door isn't open enough to his liking, he'll howl like he's being shot until I open it less than an inch and suddenly he's able to easily enter the room. Sure, he could've gone through before but his precious fragile whiskers may have made contact with the door, unacceptable, jail for father for 1000 years. Love him.

He will headbutt me and lead me to his food bowl that's only 2/3 full. I will then take my food scoop and add 5 more pebbles to his dish and he acts like I just served him a sirloin. Love him.

He's a dumb baby. He thinks me rolling over in bed is an invitation for Snuggles. He thinks me kicking off my pants when I get home from work is Snuggles. Me pspspsing and patting the bed next to me? He will legit sit there staring at me in confusion for 5 solid minutesas to what this absurd behaviour from human could possibly mean. Love him.

He's a big pussy. He is indeed a chonky boy, but I'm referring to him nearly having a seizure from a spider making a sudden movement, and his fear of my pet snake that is approximately 1% his size. He doesn't scatter hearing the door open or hide from strangers, no, he's just afraid of anything smaller than him for no reason. Love him.

My kitty thinks he's a Big Cat. Not how you might think - he doesn't have a mighty roar. No, his breed comes from the Meddiiterranean, where his ancestors would push up their sleeves and scoop their lil paws into the sea to scoop up fishies. Because his crackers do not move through water, he corrects that by scooping them up, one at a time (teeny paws), and placing them into his water bowl to then fish them out again. Kinda how we dunk our chicken fingers in plum sauce. So dumb. Love him so much.

He has weird interests. Won't even register a laser pointer, won't chase a feather on a string. No, I have to accept that if I leave Scotch tape out in the open before going to work it will be unwound around the room like a crime scene. Love him.

I don't expect anyone to get this far. I just wanted to write down all the things I'm going to miss when he ineviably passes. The cat I had before him, I remember him broadly but not specifically. I have a disease that degenerates my memory over time. I don't want to forget all the silly cat things Banksy does.

My last cat was on borrowed time for most of my life but beat the odds and lived to 21, dying at home while I was away at college. This time, I'll be the one to find him. I've never found a pet dead. And I've never been more attached to a pet than Banksy. But I know it can't be prevented, so I want to make it easier when it does happen. Hopefully having this list to reflect on will make that possible.

Stay Greater.

[trendfag]

“michael clifford gives me a boner and i dont even have a dick”

4/10 i do have a dick but i have gotten a boner over michael clifford so some points i guess. up to 4 because i do feel its creative at least for a typical 5 seconds of summer fan

“i said this in 2013 and ill say it again right now i would let 5sos ruin my life”

7/10 im sure i did say this in 2013 and you know what? ten years later if they wanted to id tell them go ahead tbh. docked points for lack of creativity.

“hey calum hood from 5sos i wanna floss with your pubic hair”

10/10 dental hygiene is really important and periodontal disease is no joke

“i am fully convinces 5sos are the hottest boys to ever set foot on this planet”

0/10 be real now

“michael clifford could call me trash and id still lick his feet”

5/10 i cant relate but i respect it

“no offense but i would gladly let luke hemmings ruin my life”

2/10 come up with anything new please

“here is a list of things i would let luke hemmings do to me 1. anything 2. everything”

6/10 second hottest in the band except for that time period back in like 2014 where he looked so much like a greasy rat in every photo i saw of him. but he grew out of it kindof

“if i could lick ashton irwins body up and down i would lick ashton irwins body up and down”

5/10 can super relate but i think its totally fair. docked a point because he said he wouldnt like it but the tweeter didnt know that

“luke hemmings from 5sos can have this bussy all to himself if he wants”

9/10 because im pretty sure they had to explain what a bussy is to them offscreen. otherwise like a 2 grow up

“i get the fattest lady boner when 5sos curses”

1/10 i bet mines fatter it has nothing to do with a band saying curse words though get well soon i guess

“calum hood you make me feel like a fox ate my heart then spit it on my face”

12/10 finally some real creativity and is it a coincidence it came from a calum girl? i dont think so

“i want a fivesome with 5sos and get some of that 5 sauce”

9/10 whatever. so what if i would. in a heartbeat. who cares.

“i crave ashton irwin more than i crave sleep and wifi so thats gotta count for something right”

4/10 sleep addiction is not a joke

“ashton irwin let me eat that ass like a fucking sausage mcgriddle with extra maple syrup id tear that shit up id say some SLORMP on that BITCH you feel me? your knees could be the apple pie on the side id munch munch that shit and wash it down with a cold glass of my tears”

10/10 very very good i really like this one. the bit about the knees would have knocked it above 10 but i thought the part about the tears at the end was dumb

going to watch 5 seconds of summer read their thirst tweets and rate them by how much i agree

[oofouchhimbones]

me, scrolling through julias blog: *sees something tagged #zoë don’t look (which I have blocked too so julia doesn’t have to double tag spoilers for both of us)*

my garbage sense of impulse control: i know we shouldn’t look but consider,,,,, we are not a zoë,,,,,

[houseki-no-suffering]

Rough translation of ch 96's leaks

veeery rough translation made with @stage4-dumb-bitch-disease, who is the most patient and relentless bean when it comes to fighting with kanji (why does barbata have to speak like that?)

keep in mind there are also a lot of pages missing!

edit: there's another translation available here https://imgur.io/a/WefNaWB and it looks more accurate

"That one, that one"

"This?"

"Yes! The new one"

"Where are you going?"

Lapis, Morga, Yellow, Alex: "To the amusement park!"

"You wanna come along?"

Lapis: "What is it?"

Ghost: (something about how Lapis can't play after all because of missing memories since the head could not be rigenerated)

"Oh ok"

Barbata: "About the admirabilis, though the above-ground group has become smaller due to adaptation to food shortages and has a tendency toward degeneration of intelligence, careful interviews confirmed that the clan was not missed(?), so the desired migration plan was completed."

Barbata: "Adaptation to the pool is going well and the Admirabilis will soon join the moon in the new synthetic sea. The problem of the lost Admirabilis' memory is under investigation. We expect to collect new information during the gathering process"

Amethyst: "Both lustrous and admirabilis who so wish can be turned into lunarians in the future"

Euclase: "Everyone turned into a lunarian"

Euc: "Solitude significantly reduces time. It seems that it will take 10 thousand years"

Euc: "Poor thing"

Sensei: "It's hard to turn back"

Euc: "I wonder if, maybe, by praying very hard"

Aechmea: "They will awake as the only one left"

Euc: "Surely that child would have dreamed of becoming special"

Cairn: "Why are you still in a meeting? Let's start decorating, "

Euc: "We will be happy and forget everything about Phosphophyllite"

Cairn: "Sorry"

Sensei: "Will you forgive me?"

Antarc: "Yes"

Euc: "Only Phos remains. I wonder if there's anything that can be done for them"

"It's about to begin"

Shinsha: "Ok"

Shinsha: "Will the wind be strong this month?"

next chapter July 25th

"On the one hand, former lustrous who live their moon life. On the other hand, on the ground, it took 10,000 years to take over. [i guess it's about taking over sensei's 'job/legacy']

To be continued"

[creacherkeeper]

ok but what if i want you to answer all the questions for the lost npcs you havent answered yet.... what then? :'D

well your wish is my command!!!!

under cut cause Long

2. Do you find it easy to create NPCs? Why or why not?

i have so much experience creating characters between original fiction, video games, art, and ttrpgs that making characters is extremely easy for me

3. Do you build settings/encounters or NPCs first?

well with lost it was more setting/encounter just because it was supposed to be a short shot so the small, contained setting and murder mystery aspects were "more important" than the npcs. but once we realized it was gonna be long running, the npcs got a lot more fleshed out. brownbird was definitely a balance of character and mechanics when making her stuff

4. Do you usually have a strong sense of who an NPC, or do they tend to be kind of basic/there to serve a purpose?

my npcs go from "here is a basic vibe" to "oh god theyre calling the shots now" fairly quickly. like lizzie was NOT really a person in game 1 and then in game 2 she was like "im going to lash out and arrest hawk because im in love with divine" and i was like yes maam okay maam i guess this is part of the plot now?

6. How do you pick names for NPCs?

in lost theyre all named after country/folk/americana artists, songs, or bands!! it started as an easier way for me to name them (inspired by mr will orville) but then it became long running and the cast list started expanding and i was like oops!! but yeah its mostly Vibes

7. Do you ever use NPC generators?

honestly didnt know that was a thing

which npc is ...

9. The biggest flirt?

brandi has zero shame <333 shes the biggest lesbian but that will not stop her from flirting w men whether they are into women or not

10. The life of the party?

for regular parties, sarah, for Wild Parties, brandi

11. Most unique?

to stop myself from saying brandi again. i think kelseys stuff is .....,, Interesting. they have the kind of backstory i wouldve written when i was 12

13. Most likely to succeed?

well waylon ... Has succeeded? his methods of getting there were :) its hard to name another character because everyone is in lost cause theyre fucked up in some way <3

14. Most likely to be on a reality show?

sarah would simply thrive with the attention and it would Not make her toxic because she would not understand or care that thats what is supposed to happen

15. Most outspoken?

sarah!!!! my girl has no filter (future flashback my beloved)

16. Most evil?

the jack of course :))

17. Best dressed?

probably kelsey. i think theyre the only one who takes advantage of waylons offer to buy the squad nice clothes. overdressed nonbinary rights. also latrowe <333 his god mom makes sure he is a very fancy little coyote

18. Friendliest?

sarah or scruggs <33 also kitten but she is. 7. and my baby <33

19. Most changed?

can i saw latrowe. is that cheating. okay real answer waylon or scruggs :))

20. Least likely to care what superlative they get?

hawk lmaoo. everyone else would pretend not to care but definitely care, or would care soooo much. hawk would simply be like. this is. dumb.

21. Which NPC is the easiest for you to roleplay? Why?

in the bit of screentime he's had, scruggs

22. Which NPC is the most difficult to roleplay? Why?

honestly probably lizzie? she's just sooo different from me. like trying to balance the Restrained Stoic with the Absolute Messy Bitch Disease is. something im working on. she's VERY much her own person but im still figuring out how to inhabit that person

24. Which NPC is YOUR favorite and why?

thats so hard ToT maybe hawk? i have unfortunately inflicted him with Sad Boi Disease so so fast. bea has received so much psychological damage from high insight checks on him <33

26. Which NPC is YOUR least favorite and why?

hmmmm. i do find things to genuinely like about most of my npcs? either dr clark or colter, not because colter doesnt have interesting stuff, he's just sooo not my type

27. Do you have a favorite NPC (ally or enemy) to use in combat?

well i've only used brandi in combat because im REALLY not a combat person. but she's. insane <3 yall did such a good job kicking her ass but she is a vengeance paladin/arcane archer fighter/wild card rogue who has +12 stealth and her max damage in a turn is 217 <33

29. Are there any NPCs you wish you could play as a PC one day?

if i had to choose one as a long running pc it would probably be scruggs but i WOULD have to break him mechanically more <3 playing brandi as a long term pc might. rot my brain.

30. Bonus question! Answer any that you haven’t been asked, or talk about any NPC you want!

one of the players has a little bit of info about brandi backstory :)) <33

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

[lesbianrobin]

If you had to rank all the 14 ST characters in the main group from most to least fav what would your ranking look like? (And by main group i mean the characters including murray and erica, and excluding karen, basically everybody involved in the final battle in 3x08)

ok let me preface this by saying that i literally love all of these characters i don't hate any of them okay?? let's go... ascending order for the drama!!

14. murray. no explanation needed. no offense to brett gelman he's phenomenal and i honestly think murray is really funny, but he's more or less just a plot device with some comic relief slapped on top.

now things get spicy <3

13. erica. love her to death! but she's fairly one-dimensional, once again primarily a comic relief character. maybe in s4 she'll get some more depth like the older kids have, but for now she's sort of a default next-to-last :/

12. will... no tea no shade but the kid's barely in the show! i absolutely want good things for him but like. i barely even know him. yknow? he’s only above erica bc he’s gay and she’s a capitalist. also that scene in s1 right before he gets snatched by the demogorgon when he just runs straight to the shed and grabs a goddamn shotgun and loads it fully ready to defend himself... that shit slapped good for him!!

11. this Will be controversial among some and i Know this character is many people's favorite... if you follow me already this is probably not going to surprise you but. nancy. i just think her character is kind of inconsistent, so i have a hard time really clicking with her :/ sometimes i love her and i think she's so cool and funny and hot (that hospital scene in s3... my GOD what a badass!) and other times i would like to fistfight her.

also let me get this out of the way right now: i'm aware that jonathan's character is ALSO super inconsistent!! i know okay??? i know!!!! please nobody judge me for how high rat boy gets on this ranking okay i'm literally making this up as i go along so idk if he's next or if he's like in the top five but i have a disease called Unreasonably Invested In Wildly Speculative Meta-Analysis Of Stranger Things which makes it impossible for me to be normal about jonathan and this is my ranking so i pick the bad taste!!!

10. joyce! i love her bro she's MOM and she tries so fucking hard all the goddamn time and she's so STRONG and kind and adorable... joyce is honestly a very unique and refreshing character ESPECIALLY if you’re considering stranger things within the horror genre which is often defined by these very specific archetypes of mothers and motherhood that i can get into if anyone is interested but like basically. love her <3

9. dustin <3 what an icon... i love him i love how he straight up killed a man and hardly flinched because it was to protect his friends and i love how he and his little girlfriend have a song they sing together and i love how he either has an insanely warped perspective on things due to low self-esteem or he just sometimes flatout lies to gain sympathy either way he’s a BABY and he’s so FUNNY and KIND and even when he’s scared he keeps going... ugh god and i love how even when he doubts his friends’ devotion to him he NEVER ever questions his devotion to them and he never ever considers leaving them behind or not stepping up to help them... he’s so brave!

8. mike is such a fucking BITCH but even more than that he is an ANGEL... literally his range who is doing it like him??? nobody!!!! graffiti’d the bathroom stall at school... hates cops.... what a legend. also i like how fucking goofy and dumb his hair looks in s3. also he’s very soft with his friends and it makes me cry. ALSO he literally stepped off a fucking CLIFF he was ready to DIE FOR DUSTIN and i know all the kids have risked their lives for each other but this wasn’t even a monster yknow this was just... bullies.... threatening his friend..... and mike couldn’t fucking let it happen bro he was ready to just step off the edge to keep dustin safe and it’s SO MUCH... and god the kindness he showed el when they first met!!! he’s a total angel and a total shithead and it’s amazing.

7. lucas my tiny baby hero.... he’s so strong and cool and capable yet at the same time he’s such a COMPLETE dork!!! he very seriously believes his slingshot wrist rocket is a lethal weapon and then he ACTUALLY USES IT AS A LETHAL WEAPON TO SAVE HIMSELF AND HIS FRIENDS!!! he hacks off a giant monster’s freaky tentacle arm thing with an axe to save his friend AND he keeps a bunch of action figures and random dice on his bedside table bro he just thinks they’re neat!!! like... i genuinely love him so much god he cares so much about his friends and he’s so brave and smart and loving... i know he is not tiny anymore but he is my tiny baby hero okay...

6. hopper! big man care for little girl... protect and love kids... dance to dad music... be goofy and hot... have trauma.... admit his faults and attempt to grow from them.... what's not to love?

5. jonathan... look i can’t explain it except that he loves his goddamn baby brother so much and i’m a sucker with extensive headcanons alright!

4. el!!! feral little darling girl!!! i literally cannot articulate the love that floods my heart whenever i see her face or think about her for too long she’s just... so strong but more than that she’s so incredibly KIND!! when she has every reason to be selfish and cruel and yeah at times she does let herself get a little mean but on the whole she’s always so goddamn kind and loving and selfless no matter how afraid she is or how she’s hurting... and i hope that with her powers gone in s4 she’ll maybe learn how to see herself as more than a tool to protect those she loves yknow but that’s off topic skdncmn i just think that el is such an incredible character with such depth!! she can be so grave and mature yet she’s still such an innocent child at the same time, and i think that both the writing and mbb’s acting are handled such that both of these things WORK and feel real and they make el (and her trauma) so believable. i just love her to death.

3. robin, light of my lesbian little life!! unfortunately she's wayyy too much like me to snag the top spot lmao. maybe once we get another season with her she’ll trample the competition but for now my baby is in a solid third place <3 i’ve never seen a lesbian on screen who i felt so accurately represented me and my experiences!! she feels so real and in just one season she’s become one of my favorites on the whole show, and i cannot fucking wait to see what else we learn about her and what development we see from her in s4. 

2. as u may have guessed... max!! i know i said this was my subjective opinion but here i’ll just say it: max is objectively one of the best characters on the show. she’s so strong and funny and quick on her feet while harboring some real pain and insecurity at the same time, and both of these aspects of her character are married perfectly, logically connecting to one another and joining with sadie’s incredible acting to create an amazing character who feels just... so real!! i absolutely adore her and i CONSTANTLY tear up just from thinking about her skdncmn...

1. what if my number one wasn't steve. like can y'all imagine???? if i just said like will or some shit???? genuinely i did consider giving max or robin top billing here but i just Can't i've dedicated too goddamn much of my life to steve harrington to deny that he's my one and only. is there anything to say that hasn't already been said? look at the bitch. just look at him. 

what other answer could there be?

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 17: 1x23 The Omega Glory

Watched the very uneven episode “The Omega Glory” today. Upon some reflection.. I think I have seen it? But I think my last rewatch ended abruptly after “By Any Other Name” so it might have been some time ago.

Anyway, it was... something. Decent, I might even say good, until the last 10-15 minutes and then it just went off a cliff? That’s how I’d summarize it.

Sulu, my beloved. I’ve missed you.

Kirk knows where all the ships are. I mean, obviously, but I love to hear it.

Phasers on heavy stun huh?

It’s so weird to be on a different ship. That looks like the same ship. It’s so empty and haunted looking.

With creepy crystal remains of bodies everywhere.

“These white crystals... are the crew.”

Something was thirsty!! Perhaps... a water vampire? Perhaps... a former McCoy girlfriend?

(Honestly having watched the whole ep...they could have expanded this intro longer. It was creepy and mysterious. Then cut the last act.)

Oh no, they’ve been infected and now must quarantine. Sort of. I guess.

...Oh no, is this Vietnam? Again?

“Our old enemy, Vietnam.”

My mother suggested the disease might be communism and I don’t think that metaphor tracks through the whole episode but you know what.. anything’s possible.

I don’t like this whole “you can’t leave the planet or you’ll get sick and die” thing. Too familiar.

"I may never be able to leave this planet but I have a worse problem: a colleague may be breaking a rule."

Says the man who has frequently violated a directive that has never been referred to as Prime before.

Kirk is getting very mumbly. That’s his serious voice.... bu it’s also his Denny Crane voice lol.

Like bio warfare in the 90s? TOS really thought the 90s was going to be the dark ages, didn’t it?

Only 90s kids remember...

Spock bursting in with a wounded man, just bringing the drama, as he does.

He’s not even listening to McCoy. Rude.

Spock absolutely 100% would have killed Captain Tracey on instinct as soon as Kirk is threatened.

Sulu’s in command? I love Captain Sulu but where is Scotty?

Kirk is so good. Clever, strong, smart. Knows all the regulations.

Tracey’s so dumb. “They’ve eradicated disease and live for hundreds of years!” Man, have you considered that they are...aliens? And their life spans are simply.... naturally longer than human life spans? And even if you could isolate the serum, it might not work on humans?

And his master plan is to isolate their immunity and bottle it for profit. It’s our old enemy... capitalism and the exploitation of intellectual property.

A fight scene!

“The pointy-eared one stays.”

Another fight scene!

Spock is watching all of this, and you know what, I feel like he’s not upset about it. It’s just like Pre-Reform Vulcan. Perhaps some... Amok Time flashbacks? “Damn, I wish that was me.”

Peanut gallery Spock.

“I wish you could teach me that.” / “I have tried.” Omg where is my scene of Spock trying to teach Kirk the nerve pinch?

And then that look Kirk gives him.

I don’t get the point of this scene but it amuses me that as soon as McCoy sees the pretty girl, he feels better.

A post-apocalyptic alien world... a very interesting concept. Like you could do a lot with that idea imo.

“That’s our worship word [freedom too.” Umm.... questionable.

Damn bitch, that was cold. Just knocking him out like that.

Damn yankee.

...Yankee and Communist dammit.

McCoy’s not even surprised to see Kirk and Spock out of jail.

Nature created a natural counterbalance to the biological disease. Where is OUR natural counterbalance, I ask?

McCoy sounds extra Southern rn. It’s all the stress.

I really don’t think Shatner gets enough credit for his subtlety. His face when McCoy explains the whole situation...

Oh he's mad now. "You've hurt Spock for nothing! Oh yeah and also killed thousands but MOSTLY THE SPOCK THING!”

Whereas Tracey really doesn’t seem to care about anything but war for its own sake. He knows now that his master plan for immortality was nothing the whole time...but he still needs to call those Yangs.

In other words, another once-reputable figure of authority now gone mad.

Kirk’s voice is so casual when he’s talking to Uhura and Sulu, you feel like he’s gotta have something up his sleeve. He can never hide when he’s really upset about something.

...Apparently what he had up his sleeve was his crew knowing regulations and then another full body tackle. Fight scene 3!

"My need for attention is vital.” Same, Spock.

This is a very attenuated and unbelievable connection Kirk is making but he’s Kirk so I’ll assume it makes sense that he’s putting it all together so fast.

Alternate Universe: Vietnam canon-divergence lol.

For anyone keeping track, this is right about the point where the episode goes off the rails.

YOU’RE A ROMANTIC, JIM. Well he’s right about that at least and he should say it.

Oh no, an American flag.

Cloud William, chief and the son of chiefs. That’s continuity of government for you.

(Also pretty hilarious that this society is supposedly So American with our exact flag and Constitution and everything... but they’re not a democracy.)

I really don’t want to believe that “under God” is still in the pledge 200 years from now.

"You're confusing the stars with heaven." Kirk thinks he's being called an angel.

The absolute mishmash of meaningless, referent-free words here. America. Native Americans. Communists. The flag, the Constitution. God. Angels. Devils. What???

Like how can they both be flag worshippers AND...believers in God? Who is their God? Alien George Washington?

So rude to call Spock Kirk’s “servant.” That’s his space husband!

Is that a literal picture of Spock as a demon in their.. Bible?

I can’t even follow this anymore.

“You command him.” I mean...yes, that’s how the military works.

“He has no heart.” Wow, rude.

“His heart is different!” I stan one (1) Southern Doctor.

I feel like Spock is just... not having this at all. His face loos like he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

Oh no is that the CONSTITUTION??!

“Kill his servant” wow Tracey is obsessed with Spock, isn’t he? I guess everyone in the Fleet knows about them and their special relationship.

Spock is even amused by the knife at his throat. His eyes say "I am distressed--but fascinated!"

A FOURTH fight scene? And here I thought Kirk was going to recite the Constitution.

“I’m open to suggestions.” He’s just as worried about Kirk as McCoy is, bu the doesn’t show it.

...Yep, he’s being telepathic again. Not really in line with his usual telepathy but okay. Alien magic is flexible.

Okay I have a JD and I can confidently say there is nothing about good defeating evil in the Constitution.

And now this alien guy is immediately ready to make himself a “slave.” That seems problematic. What happened to the holy word “Freedom”?

Wow, Kirk's in a bad mood. "You can't pronounce your own holy words worth shit."

“This is only for the eyes of a Chief,” he says and Kirk just pushes him away.

Spock literally turns Tracey around for Kirk’s big final speech like “Listen up, bitch, my boyfriend’s talking.”

Is this the 4th of July episode?? Feels like there should be canons and fireworks going off behind him rn.

Idk, the words of the Constitution can't be so unique and unprecedented if a WHOLE OTHER ALIEN CIVILIZATION just came up with them, too, on their own, like monkeys typing Hamlet. (Given the timelines here... they probably did it first too lol.)

"Liberty and freedom need to be more than just words." Like what does that even mean in this context? Sounds nice but it’s very hard to put into the context of all the rest of this.

“And uh be nice to the Kohms,” after most of them (?) were probably just killed.

I really was into this until the last 10-15 minutes and I think there were under-explored concepts that could have taken the fever dream of whatever that bizarre-o fever dream at the end was. The abandoned ship. The leftovers of bio warfare. The whole weird and under-explained concept of immunity. The tragedy that so much was destroyed,, including but not limited to the whole Exeter crew, for no reason. What happened to Tracey to so destroy him--was it just greed? What about the “Prime” Directive? Is it important or not. They just leave at the end after (as Spock pointed out) doing quite a bit of their own meddling, even though meddling is allegedly the worst. Also, we know almost nothing about the Kohms at all. The “American” society clearly wasn’t democratic. Were the Kohms literally Communist?

I’m willing to accept a certain degree of alternate Earth scenarios--like Miri (though imo that was not a necessary component of that story) or Bread and Circuses, but this was too much. TOO unbelievable. And frankly unnecessary. You could do an allegory for alternate-Vietnam, and it would be just as clear but even more effective. There wouldn’t be any distraction in the form of “what the fuck is that flag doing here?”

There is a potentially incendiary concept here, which is the same one I thought of reading about actual COG plans--certain aspects of the Yanks’ culture survives, but with absolutely no meaning attached. They have a Constitution but they mispronounce all the words. They have this tattered flag but it has no other meaning. They’ve turned the symbols of the government into a religion, but they don’t practice any of the civil aspects of it--they have chiefs, not democratically appointed leaders, for example. Like, COG asks “what IS the country, and how do you make sure the country endures no matter what?” This was an opportunity to show the worst of that: the country continues to exist as symbology only--incredibly strong symbology, but only that--and all of the actual values that were supposed to be stored with that symbology have disappeared. Similarly, their hatred of their enemies endures. It’s lauded in the ep as their attempt to get “their land” back but what if it’s just war for its own sake, as Tracey seems to be engaging in? To tell that story, especially in the 60s, against the backdrop of Vietnam, and with the references to bio warfare and nuclear warfare, could be powerful. And I know TOS can work in metaphor and comparison. It doesn’t need to bring out a literal fucking flag.

Honestly, it was like they had one good, classic, sci fi story but it didn't fill 52 minutes so they tacked on the American Pride 4th of July Propaganda Extravaganza at the end.

It really felt like the lesson was “America good” lol.

I liked the concept of the post apocalyptic society in the aftermath of bio warfare as a cautionary tale for 1960s America, and I'd be up for crazed snake oil salesman Starfleet Captain (or...whatever his rank was) if it were a bit better explained. But the rest of it....

It also... could have been kinda incendiary with the idea that the Constitution and flag are religious symbols... I mean some people do treat them that way and I've always found that, first, blasphemous, and second, bizarre in such a hyper-Christian country. But I feel like instead of digging ito that, they just tempered it with "But also they're Christian, as you can tell by their drawing of devil!Spock, for some reason."

Idk, this story could have been complete with out the whole weird “Vietnam AU” back story or alternately it could have been a biting commentary about what defines America, and about whether or not our symbols might be more enduring--or even more important to people today??--than the laudable but more complex and difficult ideals that underpin the country’s founding. Are the words of the Constitution just gobbledy gook? They are if you don’t live by them, and America has always struggled to do that. It definitely would struggle even more in the aftermath of an apocalypse.

...I’m more annoyed now, thinking about the possible sci fi story that could have been...

Anyway next is an ep I’m fairly sure I haven’t  seen, so that should be fun.

[finsterhund]

Hey I fucking broke my ankle lmao

“I could really use a break right now” I say as I struggle with my dog having terminal cancer, my roommate pushing my limits, my money being nonexistent, and barely getting one meal a day.

A finger on the monkey’s paw that is me ever wanting anything in life curls again. Must have been a pretty fucked up monkey because there’s a lot of fingers on this thing by now.

So yeah, life thought I wasn’t going through enough already so it added broken fucking ankle to the list of Finsterhund suffering hours.

“I wish I wasn’t broke” is another good one. “here have a different broke then lol. go fuck yourself you rotting corpse of a victorian boy piece of shit”

here’s the goods. Got ex roommate to take photo of the screen. Doctor did not let me email the high res version to myself.

I did not go “waaaiii” on the way down, unfortunately. Life just isn’t like a video game. Probably didn’t look funny either. In reality I am a silent faller/injurer/whatever. Survival instincts of child abuse survivor I land and stay there as quiet as possible. I “grew out of” signals for help before teenage years. Which is a blessing in disguise because I don’t like people looking at me when I am hurt. it’s the “baby deer waiting for mom to come back instinct” I hide from predators.

My brain didn’t really process it when it happened. I just fell and heard a SNAP. If I had watched a video of it happening to someone else I would have found it gross but fortunately my brain just let me ignore it.

I was mostly immediately scared that I had somehow damaged the FIFTY DOLLAR dog calming aid that I got for Cazza in the pet store. I needed something like it for her and just seeing it in person and not having to pay 30 dollar shipping I was like “yeah. getting it here” fortunately the only fragile part is a little plastic capsule that imitates a heartbeat, which was packaged inside the toy inside the box. I hope. I have not opened it.

But the reason I fell is because I was also carrying giant bag of dog food. You see my vet recommended I switch out her food in light of the potential heart disease link. So I got the biggest bag of the best chicken stuff they had. My roommate might try saying that it was because the bag was too heavy. It wasn’t. I could lift that shit just fine. Bag was impossible for my impaired depth perception cringe fail line of vision to see around. The same visual impairment that prevents me from being able to drive a car made me think that I could put my foot down on the curb of the sidewalk. Dumb ass thought I was stepping OVER the curb.

Fortunately the bag of dog food broke my fall. Otherwise I’d have probably smashed my nose and teeth on the pavement. I really hope the expensive puppy calming toy is unharmed :( I say as I have a fucking broken leg.

So yeah. If you’ve seen labyrinth where David Bowie playing Jareth the Goblin King walks over all those weird ass fucked up stairs and ledges that are all a manner of odd angles? Specifically where he just takes steps that are at an angle that you cannot actually walk? Yeah I fucked up Jareth platform stairs walked over the fucking curb and snapp my legs

yes, I said legs.

Only my left is technically broken. It’s a Webber A something or other. I have a sick as hell photo if you wanna see. It’s included in this post.

But my right foot also got fucking fucked up. That one it snapped a tendon or a ligament or whatever the fuck. Get this, it snapped off a small piece of the gottamn bone. It’s not a break but it’s like it came off like a splinter. I made a joke in the hospital about how it’s like when you throw a sticky hand at the wall and when you pull it back a piece of the paint comes off with it. That was really fucking funny but nobody laughed. My friend’s group chat thought it was funny though. I did not get a photo of that foot and the tiny cringe sticky hand paint sliver bone.

I am on pain meds better than my normal pain meds. I can barely feel the legs in bed now.

So back to the parking lot. I landed on the dog food bag. I am hoping the calmeroos puppy is not broken or damaged in any way, I heard the snap but my brain is not registering the snap. This hurts “like a normal fall” I think at first. It hurts a lot of course, but I have the pain tolerance of a truck (thanks for this one Will) and a “heartwarming” story from my youth is that my mom didn’t believe my arm was broken both times it happened because I wasn’t “in pain enough” so I’ve got the firsthand experience to back that up.

Yeah then I try to fucking move my goddamn legs. Left one, broken one, there’s noises. Like cracking pop sounds. And pain. God fuck. It feels like the foot is loose and it’s only connected by fleshy flesh and muscle and skin. Aka like how my dislocated shoulder (that my mom also dismissed because I didn’t scream enough... after the lifeguard had alreayd put it back in...) had felt when I was 12.

So I’m like “oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck I can’t get up or move” yeah my first response was “how the fuck am I going to escape?” I attempted to better myself to get up but absolutely not. Right foot feels like when I roll the damn thing which happens a lot. That *WAS* my bad ankle. sidkfjsdkfjskdf not anymore!!!!!

So an important note is that I’m technically better about my severe agoraphobia that my roommate can let me go into a store by myself provided he’s no more than a couple stores away. So while I’m waiting for a predator to pick my weak ass off outside the petstore he’s in the dollar store next door where I was supposed to meet him after putting the dog food in the car. The car I am now sitting next to. I have no way to get his attention because my phone is dead and also in my bedroom because it’s useless when not plugged into the wall.

Luckily the people parked next to us come out the store and see Mr fuck leg the fucked leg boy sitting on his bag of dog food between the cars and bless this family they help me out. By trying to get roommate out of the dollar store. Which doesn’t work. So they get the dollar store manager. Who then gets roommate out of the store. I was probably sitting there for 10 minutes or so. They had kids so I’m really trying not to let them see how fucked up the rapidly growing ankle balloon is.

But yeah. Eventually roommate come out the dollar store. And get this, he does the same shit my mom did every time anything ever fucking happened to me and is all “okay if it were really broken you’d be screaming right now” as I’m finally able to prop myself up enough to get into the car. That fucking triggered me real bad and I had a breakdown in the car while he went back into the dollar store to continue shopping.

Then we went to get food.

Then we went to costco.

He said that he would take me home and then if it was “still bad tomorrow” he’d take me to the ER.

So he tries to help me out of the car to the house.

I cannot put weight on the right leg either. It is agony. He’s trying to support the bad leg but the other leg need support too. A weaker man would have screamed but I just dropped to the parking lot ground and cried.

Made an attempt to crawl to the house but the gravel on my knees was just too much on top of everything else.

So FINALLY the ER is back on the menu. Ex roommate comes out because I need someone to support each foot. And they take me to their car and they drive me to the ER and I’m trying to eat a baconator while my foot is reminding me that we should have stayed as tiktaalik. you know, not fucking biped I want semi aquatic too please please please youre nothing

The wheelchairs in the ER are designed to offer full body support but the damn things are so hard to maneuver around and cannot be user operated. So I was sitting there having to get pushed around feeling like a dumb fuck because I hate needing assistance to move I hate it I hate it I hate it. I kept reaching down expecting to find the wheel handles but they weren’t there.

ER was... fun. There was a cool cartoon I’ve never seen before “Craig of the Creek” playing on the TV. I really want to see more of it I really liked it. But a fucking anti vax guy (YEAH REALLY) was swearing and bitching because there were kids shows on the TV This show was the only comfort I fucking had. Craig was spoonfeeding me comfort with his little freeze to death without your winter clothes adventure (RIP to him but I’m different)

But yeah. Once being treated it was all really nice. My ability to make constant jokes about fucked up injury death and suffering is a really good stress relief. Shout out to the xray tech who totally understood I use dark humor to cope and in response to my joke about how if I was a horse they'd just shoot me that I would “make wonderful glue” the other people were also very kind but I kinda felt they were intimidated by how “jovial” I was about the whole thing. Like yeah. I’m “handling it well” because that’s my whole strategy. Inside I’m screaming “please not the plates please not the plates please not the plates” (I am scared of having metal plates and screws.) Fortunately the stupid little cringe bone broke just low enough on the bone that I don’t have to get the plates and screws. I was literally begging Spot and she answered.

In my moment of weakness I decided that the true nature of the “Spot Power” is that she makes it so that when I’m going through shit I’m always “being so brave about it”

I kept thinking about how Cazza thought I had abandoned her though and while roommate did give her her evening walkies she was stressed and puked on the walk. Which fucking ruined my life and I cried more hearing that than the fucking leg.

So yeah. In canada crutches and the foot boot actually cost money. I’m out like 100 dollars. Plus like 30 because roommate wanted gas. I’m just used to it by now. I definitely need to plug Cazza’s gofundme again now though. Have no clue how I’m even going to take her to her appointments. I am hesitant to hope that roommate will give her as good walks as she needs.

There were more tears over the fact that I was going to fail Cazza than that I actually broke my fucking ankle.

This shouldn’t be a shock. I knew that eventually my visual impairment and my physical disability were going to team up on me and fuck up my body even worse somehow. Always thought it was going to be stairs though. A small comfort is apparently the x ray department has had four other people come in about the exact same curb. Yeah I kid you not. The curb between the redacted dollar store and the redacted pet store confirmed for Heart of Darkness 2: Andy Ankle Adventure

They were supposed to give me more pain meds but I guess I didn’t pick them up or they forgot or something. My brain is fried so i have no idea at all.

Crutches are a massive learning curve for someone with depth issues and balance issues. I almost fell face first on the goddamn crutches several times. If I wasn’t broke and you know, if I couldn’t fucking not leg broken walk leg I would go to hardware store and make a wheeling seat thing like those scooters in gym class and then I’d have Cazza pull me on walks. That would work.

Big issue is in and out of our place is fucking stairs. Yeah. I crawled up them on hands and knees. No way in hell with my already fucking broken mobility could I go crutches up them. I have to hold onto railing or I fall down stairs so crawling it was.

I can technically take the boot off to sleep but the tightness makes it so much better so fuck that. Wish I had the rolling elementary school gym class scooter so I could drag myself around the house.

Cazza doted on me like nothing else. She tried to brace me going up the stairs but she’s not big enough for what I’d need with this fucking leg problem. She helped me change out of my clothes though. Even though she’ll never be certified she’s still my everything.

The she cuddled close to me until I had calmed down and now she’s fast asleep in her bed. I am so glad I ended up giving her her bath before going out.

I am going to attempt to make it to my bloodwork appointment tomorrow. I have rescheduled that due to chemo appointments too many times.

I can’t remember if I’m forgetting anything else. Honestly my roommate telling me the exact same shit my mom did just fucking hurt so bad. I think I know my own body better than you do. Like I’ve told him about how she didn’t believe me and I had to beg her to take me to the hospital and he ended up doing the exact same shit. All because I didn’t outwardly exhibit being in enough pain apparently.

I just hate how being disabled you always have to fucking prove you’re disabled. Like I was expected to somehow walk back to the house and up the stairs but when I got to go to the ER yeah fucking broken lol.

I just wish I had parents. I need taking care of. I always did and I never got it.

I’m scared for the future. I don’t know how I’m going to manage or how I’m going to provide for Cazza.

I wish breaking my ankle could have made Cazza’s cancer go away

[darkdevasofdestruction]

God’s Snowdrop - Dio Brando (Non Vampire AU)

"Where were you?!" my father's drunk voice rasped from the living room as soon as I entered the house. "Mother's funeral..." I muttered, trying to slip away to my room. "That gives you no excuse to get home empty-handed! You think we can go by daily with no money?! You think I, alone, can support the both of us?! You are 10 years old, you should bring money by now too, you lazy bitch!" he yelled, before the sound of a stumble was heard, and I locked myself in my bedroom before he could reach me. "Honestly...Not even on her funeral day can you be decent...Fucking pig..." I growled, staying on the window pane and continuing my book reading. 

The next day, after I was able to sell all the flowers and matchboxes, I was able to sit at the foot of a tree and study the same medicine book that I've been reading for this whole year... The one my mother bought me om my birthday, just before she died, as she knew my dreams were of becoming a doctor. Dreams... That's all they will be... Only far away dreams... But at least I can try. 

It's not like I have anything better to do. I didn't realise how time passed, until a blond boy with a scowl on his face stood above me, snapping me from my studying.

"What can I help you with?" I asked in a soft voice, looking up at him with a tired expression. "You're in my spot! Move over!" he growled in rage, and I could only nod. "Okay, sorry about that, I didn't know." I picked up the basket near me and decided to leave home, before he grasped my wrist tightly, turning me around. "What are you? A sewer rat, or a rich bastard? I can't tell and it's annoying me!" he sneered, but in a way he seemed to be thinking something else entirely. "Something in between, I guess? My mother was a tailor and used to work for upper and middle class people, so she would always make pretty dresses for me and made sure to always look my best. On the other hand, I suppose with how the house is almost collapsing on us, we're not too far away from actual alley rats." I shrugged nonchalantly, looking up at the pink evening sky. "How old are you? You seem to have the audacity to speak like a much older and noble snob." he scoffed, glaring at me. "I am 10 years old. My name is Katrina Stark, since you seem to be asking quite a lot of questions. I'm nobody important, just the girl who sells flowers and match boxes so her father can have enough booze to pass out faster. Now, may I go home, Mister I-Have-No-Name?" I tiled my head to the side slightly, waiting for the seal of approval. "What an ill-mannered woman, you don't even ask for my name. I am Dio Brando, you better remember that name! Despite how rude you are, it seems you are capable enough to read? Whatever could someone like you be able to read? Nursery rhymes?" he laughed condescendingly as he snatched the book from my grasp. "Not quite what I would call nursery rhymes..." I muttered, looking away, slightly uncomfortable. "You...You...Read medical textbooks...? A mere 10 year old dumb little girl? And you wish to tell me you understand the words written here? And how these apply to the human body?!" he stared at me with a lowkey angered expression, shifting his expression from the book to myself. "My mother bought me that book. She suffered from an unknown illness and I vowed to discover a cure for said illness. Tell me what you want, it's not like I care in particular, but nobody's words are going to stop my ambitions and dreams. And, for the record, yes, I do understand what it is written here. I could read since I was 5, and I'm not that stupid as to not be able to corelate the text to real life." with a deadpan expression, I snatch the book away from the boy who seemed to be almost double my height, and turned around to go to my home, hiding the book at the bottom of the basket and counted the money.

I muttered a curse as I realise I could only buy 4, instead of the 5 bottles of liqueur that father wants, and I was short 1 coin... But I had no more flowers nor match boxes. Damn it. What could the odds of him being asleep be, I wonder? Maybe if I wait outside long enough, he will fall asleep? Or maybe I can somehow find something to sell? But what? I then realised that I kept 2 oranges in the basket, as a lunch, but I was much too absorbed in my lecture to realise my hunger, and I could sell them for that coin... But now... Who would want oranges? It's already dark outside and it's pretty dangerous on these dirty streets of London... And yet, it's much more dangerous inside. Soon enough, wandering the strewts, trying to avoid any drunk or scary men, I find a policeman, so I rush to him, tugging on his sleeve, with a puppy face.

"Mister policeman, please, would you please buy these oranges? Just one coin! I can't go home if I don't sell everything." I beg him, putting my hands together, fingers intertwined as if praying. "A little girl like you shouldn’t be wandering these streets at such an hour. Go straight home, alright?" the policeman smiled kindly at me as he put the coin in my hands. 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I thanked him and rushed back home - Home that was glued to a bar, and bought the usual delivery from the bartender since he knew I would just give it to my father, not without seeing the pity look in his eyes. When I arrived home, I put the 5 bottles next to his bed, but I had no idea where he was...Until a crash came from the kitchen and I knew I had to run to my room. Unfortunately, I wasn't fast enough, and he caught me by the neck of my dress, slamming me on the ground. 

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO LATE?! DID YOU SLACK OFF AGAIN?!" he shouted at me. "P-People didn't want to buy today, I'm s-so sorry! But I got the 5 bottles! They're in your room!" I tried to stutter out defensively, but no excuse was enough for him to forgive me, so I bitterly accepted the beating...Not that it was anything new.

The next day, just as usual, I went to the field after making sure I got all the coins, and started reading, however, on my way there, I noticed a few kids playing, but one was on the ground, his pants torn at the knee, with his skin scraped, crying.

“Do you want me to fix that?” I asked simply, crouching down next to him. “Can you?” the boy asked, wiping his tears away, as his friends gathered around him. “Of course I can. Good thing I carry ointment and cloth with me, just in case.” I muttered, taking out the marigold ointment I made, I get the water bottle, water the cloth, cleaned the wound, then applied the treatment quickly on the wound and bandaged the kid’s knee. “There, all done. You should be fine by tomorrow.” I shrugged, gathering my things, ready to leave. “Thank you so much, miss! You’re amazing!” he cheered in glee, getting back again and playing with his friends. “Tsk...Lame.” I rolled my eyes, knowing he couldn’t see, before I went to read again, careful not sit at the foot of the same tree, so the boy wouldn't bother me again. 

What a joke, though. He would be bothered by something no matter where I'd be, I'll soon come to realise, as today, again, he was there. 

This time, however, he sat down next to me and took the book in his hands, skimming through it calmly. 

"Uhm...Hello...Dio." I mumble unsurely, looking at the boy who acted as if he owned the place. "It's one of the best books on the market. Must have cost a fortune." he speaks, completely out of context. "I...Suppose so. I wasn't able to step into a bookshop...Or a library, for the matter. I will trust your word for it." I shrugged, resting my chin on my knees. "Your mother knows her stuff well. Does she have nurses, midwives or doctors as relatives?" Dio asks, and I merely shrug once again. "I don't know. To be fair, I don't particularly know anything about my family." I spoke nonchalantly, humming slightly. "Why don't you ask her today? I am rather curious." he passes me the book back, but I could only stare at him with a dead expression. "She's dead." was all I said, as I noticed his eyes widen slightly. "I see." his voice went down in realisation. "Her funeral was 2 days ago. He didn't want to come. Said he'd drink in her honour...Tsk, what a joke. Men are such a joke...They charm a woman, steal her from her family, then get married, have a child...Then they stop working, while also demanding their wives to work to death, only to use the money on alcohol...Disgusting..." I took the book from his hands, but I didn't have the power to open it from all the pent up rage I held in my heart. "My mother's disease was actually just stress and body over-exhaustion. That much is obvious...Everyone knows...But nobody wants to say a thing. This society should just burn." I sneered, forgetting for a moment that there was someone next to me. "Your words are bold for someone so young and small." he praises lowly, turning his head to look at me. "...Words mean nothing if you can't do anything about it." I reply simply, tilting my head to look at him dead in the eyes. "Why are still here? You have nothing to gain from hanging around me. I have no way of benefiting you in any way. So, why...?" I asked in a firmer voice, yet it was still light and gentle. "You are right, I have nothing to gain from you. I shall take my leave." he started getting up, but I grasped his sleeve, not raising my head. "Won't you stay for a bit more? I haven't talked to someone in a while. I forgot how nice it is." I explain how I felt, and for some reason, he sat back down with a confident chuckle. "Heh! Of course you'd want to stay around the great Dio Brando! It is fine, I'm in a great mood today, I suppose I can indulge in some time wasting with some common girl." he spoke, pointing to himself, which made me giggle softly. "You're pretty cute, you know?" I smile softly, which earned a smirk from him. "Keh. So even someone like you can see how great I am. Who knows, Katrina, maybe when I become THE most successful lawyer, I might come back and even greet you." he boasted with full pride. "A lawyer, hmm? I can't say I'd see you as anything else. You seem that kind of person who wouldn't be stopped by laws, morals or ethics and would do anything to get what you wanted and be right. It'd be pretty fun, watching you argue until you win." I hum in amusement. "So even someone insignificant like you can recognise that I will be a flawless lawyer! Maybe you're not so bad after all." he held his head high in pride. “I see you like anyone who flatters you. Some may call you vain, you know?” I gave him a side smile. “I don’t care about others. I am the most important person in my life.” he scoffed with a frown. “That’s a nice life philosophy, you know? Maybe one day I’ll think the same too. Until then, I should still hold this wish to save others.” I hummed in amusement. “I saw what you did to that brat. What did you use?” he asked in curiosity. “Just some marigold ointment I made. It can heal wounds like that pretty fast.” I spoke as a matter of fact. “I see...Not bad, for some common wench like you. I guess you can be more interesting than I thought.” he praised, which made me look at him in surprise. “That’s...Very nice of you to say. Thank you, Dio.” I nodded at him, my cheeks becoming slightly pink. “Azaleas in your hair, hellebore in your eyes and roses in your cheeks. You’re like a nice bouquet of flowers that’s going to wither soon if nobody takes good care of you...Or can you prove me wrong?” he asked, getting closer to me, caressing my rosy cheek with the back of his hand. "Well...Unfortunately, I have to go. It's getting late and I don't want to get in trouble with that poor excuse of a father. It was great talking to you...Maybe we'll see each other again." I picked up my basket, hiding the book once again and waving him goodbye, before rushing to buy the bottles for my father, hoping that I won't mess up again for some reason. 

Days passed one after the other, and Dio was nice enough to come see me daily. I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't about to question it either. Unfortunately, despite how nice this day was, it ended horribly, as I noticed my father coming in my direction. 

"Dio...Do me a favour and leave. And take my book too. I'll see you tomorrow, I think." my voice was trembling softly, glaring at the approaching figure. "What?! How dare you-" Dio glared at me, but I snapped my back at him with pleading eyes, which made him look at me with widened eyes. "Just go...I don't know what he'll do. That's my father there...And the worst he could do is burn this book which would ultimately kill me. Please...Just listen to me and go. I don't want to get you in trouble too." I bit my lip, looking back at the silhouette that was so close now. "Fine. But you haven't heard the end of this." he grumbled, taking my book and going in the opposite direction.  "You, whore! So that's what you've been doing?! Whoring around with random boys and slacking off when you could be earning money?! You're a selfish and worthless slut, just like your mother! Get home right now!" father hollered, his voice echoed throughout the glade, yanking and dragging me by the hair back home. 

The whole night was even more than what one would ordinary call a nightmare, but I could at least consider myself lucky to be alive. I guess. Who knows? Of course, the next day I was forced to make money anyway, and I wasn't able to stay more than an hour on the spot with Dio, which angered him quite a lot. When I was leaving, he quickly put his hand on my shoulder with a little more force than he realised, which made me yelp and jump in my skin slightly. "Why...Did you react like that? Are you afraid of me? You think I'd hit you? Think I'd step so low as to hurt a girl?!" he growled in anger, his grip tightening on my shoulder. "No...It just hurt. Sorry to make you feel bad. Last night was...Not the best." I tried to explain in a way that I wouldn't have to say more. "He beat you?" he spoke bluntly, and I could only look away from him. 

He then got furious and lowered my dress from the neck back, revealing the whip marks on my back, still pink and vivid from last night, spreading down my back like the tangled web of a spider. 

"He did this to you, didn't he?" he muttered, close to my ear. "Do you really need confirmation?" I ask, looking down at the ground. "Why do you do nothing about it? There’s one thing to beat up a man, since that’s how you assert dominance, but doing it to a woman is simply unforgivable." he asked once again. "Do what? I'm nothing more than a useless little girl in a society led by men who think they're so powerful. I have no power. No way to save myself. I have no idea how I could even get the money to get myself into Med school." I gritted my teeth, putting back my dress over my shoulders. "Kill him and keep the money for yourself. You can sustain yourself from the money you earn already. There are still a few years before you can apply for University, it's plenty of time." he explains, and I merely shrugged. "Maybe..." I spoke, barely audible. "I came here to tell you that my father died today, and from tomorrow on, I will be living out of London, with a rich family that is going to support my dream financially. Once I become a Lawyer and can afford sustain myself, I will come back for you. Will you wait for me, Katrina?" he asked, getting in front of me and putting his hands on my face, lifting it up so I would look at him. "Why would you come back for me? I'm a nobody." I ask, frowning in confusion and blushing softly. "Because you believed in my greatness." he kissed my forehead gently. "You are mine now, little Snowdrop, so better not let anyone else touch you, got it?" he spoke in a voice that borderlined possessiveness. "I promise." I put my own hands over his own, closing my eyes and enjoying the last few seconds of serenity.

- 10 years later - 

I was able to get into Med school 2 years ago thanks to a legacy that my mother hid away from my father in her Will, at the bank. The down part was that I had to pretend to be a man for the whole duration of the University, but my diploma will be written with my actual name on it. 

One day, during my practice at the hospital, we heard that a group of law students in their final year were to visit and see how practices happen around, so they would understand the laws, ethics, morals and how patients fare. 

Being one of the top students, in my 4th year already, I was allowed to present the most ethically challenging cases to the law students, what we ought to choose, and what the other side of the coin is, all while going in clear medical detail. 

My long red hair was tied with a ribbon and draped over my shoulder, while my fringe was framing my face and the large lab coat was hugging my frame as if I was almost trying to hide.

By the end of it all, after hearing discussions and debates between the students, some of them bound to absolute rule and others bound to be less ethical and moral, I listen carefully to what each of them has to say, particularly the blond boy who spoke with great confidence as if he was unstoppable and untouchable by anything around him. He was beyond everything. I wonder...

Could this be the boy I used to know long ago, when I was still very young and fragile? 

The whole day I ran around the hospital all day, and at evening, I was finally able to go home, tired out of my mind. And yet, as I was walking down the wet, cobbled stone streets of London, I heard a voice call out for the "redhead", and since I knew I was the only one around, I fix the deerstalker hat to hide my face and feminine features, turning around, only to see the blond man from earlier. 

  "Yes? How may I help you" I ask in a voice that was desperately trying to be lower than usual. "You're a woman, aren't you? I know who you are." he spoke with a smirk, as he flicked the front of my hat with his fingers, making it fly away and fall on the ground. "Then, my suspicions were correct. You really are Dio Brando." I nodded, my face still passive, and yet, a smile was creeping rapidly on my face. "It has been 10 years, and you can tell that I am the great Dio Brando. Of course, only someone like you would be able to. And to think you were able to study Medicine, just as you dreamt." Dio chuckled, crossing his arms and looking down at me. "I thought you were tall before...Now I really look up at you as if looking for God. Your name truly fits you." I burst into laughter, trying to stifle my giggles with my hand, as Dio was towering over me like an elephant next to a little Corgi pup. "And you look as frail as a Snowdrop, just as you used to before. You barely changed...Yet you at least look like a woman now. And your hair grew beautifully...Soft like velvet..." he muttered, his hands on my hair, as he untied the ribbon and let it cascade down my back. "Do you really fool anyone with this façade?" he hummed in amusement. "I'm not sure. I enrolled as a man, I will graduate and practice as a woman. It's just formalities...I don't know for sure, but it doesn't matter as long as it all works in my favour, in the end." I shrugged, fixing my hair. "I haven't let it down in quite a while." I smiled softly, unconsciously braiding a small streak of crimson. "I told you, didn't I? I would come for you. I always keep my promises. And what a pleasant surprise to see that you're almost done with your studies as well. Where do you live?" he asks, pulling me closer to him. "At home. I can't afford to live anywhere else." I shrugged simply. "What about that bastard?" he sneered in disgust. "Well, what do you think happened?" I smirked, provoking him. "You killed him? Did you really have it in you to kill him, Snowdrop?" he pulled me away to look into my eyes. "I won't say anything that could possibly incriminate me, Mr. Lawyer. However, should you want to pursue a detective path, I might be persuaded to...Drop a few hints?" I smirked, challenging him. "Now I'm intrigued. My University education is almost over and my foster father said he'll buy me a nice house here, in London. Once I no longer have to live in those wretched student halls, you'll come to live with me, got it?" he smirked proudly. "Oh, and what privilege, Monsieur Dio. Is it because you are burning with curiosity to find out how I got into Med school?" I tilted my head to the side with a foxy expression, but next thing I know, I'm being pulled in a deep kiss that left me shocked, breathless and wanting more. "I love it when you challenge me. The fire in your eyes is as powerful as your hair. It's so lovely that I could break you any time, so easily and nobody would notice." he smirked, stroking a strand of my hair. "This Snowdrop thinks you're beginning to talk like a sociopath. Not that I'm surprised in the least, to be fair. Well then, Dio, till we next see each other again. Good luck with your last year of University...Though, luck is the last thing you need." I wink at him with before turning around on my heel, flipping my long hair back, letting it flow graciously in the wind as I walked home, waving lazily at the blond boy who became a man. 

A year went by faster than I expected and before I knew it, I went to see the graduation ceremony, only to see, not surprisingly, that Dio was the top of his year, with top marks, always got scholarships and now he got a ton of job opportunities in London, all of them extremely well paid.

His speech was very Dio-like, full of pride and confidence, which also inspired everyone to believe in him and go to him for any need. After he got off the podium, receiving his diploma, awards, after shaking hands with all the important people there, he walked to where his class was, receiving praises even there. It was obvious that he managed to get everyone to be his little minions.

After they all threw their hats in the air, they decided to go celebrate, so smiling, I was going to go home, before a hand stopped me, and turned me around, only to see Dio himself. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion "Am I not allowed to congratulate you for being the best, as usual?" I shrugged, with a sly smile in my face. "I wasn't expecting to see Snowdrop around. What a nice surprise. But were you going to leave without even greeting me?" he raised his eyebrow, getting closer to my face. “You were pretty busy, I didn't want to disturb you or anything. Today is your day of ultimate glory. Go out, have fun, do whatever men do when they celebrate and...I don't know, enjoy your day with your minions-...I mean classmates." I quickly cover my mistake with a low chuckle, looking down humbly. “Don’t look down when around me! You’re not like the rest, so don’t act like them. Don’t act like some meek, submissive sheep! It pisses me off!” he growled in annoyance, grabbing my face and making me look up. “It was a plant.” I smirked at him, before I pulled him down in a kiss. “What...?” he blinked in surprise, his cheeks becoming rosier. “What are you acting all blushy for, dear? You wanted a challenge, I gave you a hint. Go ahead and figure it all out, will you?” I winked at him, leaving him awestruck, as I went on my merry way back home with a satisfied smirk on my face.

Not too much time passed and we moved in together and he began working, while I was working and studying all day long, both of us making good money and soon enough, he wanted to bring me to meet his foster father and brother for some formalities.  Apparently, Jonathan - or JoJo, shorter - asked Erina to marry him and he wanted all 5 of us to have a nice dinner together.

It was pretty awkward, to say the least, especially since I wasn’t the best when it came to socialisation, but Dio and Jonathan talked enough so that I didn’t really have to say anything.

“Congratulation, JoJo, you found such a beautiful and gentle girl! She will make a great wife and mother for your children.” Mr. Joestar praised, making both of them blush, and I could feel my heart falling, realising where the conversation was going. “Thank you, father. Erina is the best woman I could ever have the pleasure of meeting. I’m really happy I got to meet her and have her be my wife, and I hope I will make her the happiest person alive, just like she does to me.” JoJo confessed, holding her hands. “Aww, JoJo, you’re so sweet. I love you so much!” she smiled bashfully, blushing furiously. “And you, Dio, this young lady is gorgeous! Did I understand correctly from JoJo that she’s an intellectual?” he asked, smiling at us. “Of course she is. I wouldn’t be courting just any common girl that’s only good for cooking and sewing.” he declared proudly, playing with a strand of my hair. “That’s very rare, but commendable. What is it that you do, dear?” he asked me directly. “I’m a Med student in London and I also practice at the University’s hospital.” I managed to speak in a firm voice, not wavering in any way, thankfully. “You practice medicine? Do you wish to become a midwife or a nurse?” he asked, intrigued. “No. Next year I will get my diploma and I will be a fully-practicing doctor.” I explained, which made him raise his eyebrow. “I didn’t know Universities and Hospitals allowed women to train and become doctors! I can’t believe how fast years passed by me! We truly live in a revolutionary era!” he praised, despite sounding like a double-edged compliment. “Thank you, Mr. Joestar. I suppose when you’re good at something, nobody can turn you away.” I spoke with a bit of acid, which made Dio smirk next to me. “It is a wonderful career to be pursuing, dear, but will you have time for the children? Such a profession isn’t easy for a woman, you know? It’s usually either one or the other.” he smiled fatherly at me, but it only pissed me off. “That’s something for the future, father. We’re still very young, we have the whole life ahead of us. It’s the 19th century, after all.” Dio saved me from this conversation. “You’re right, you’re right, how silly of me! I suppose I miss having you two as children around this place, that it only made me think like an old man, wishing to see his grandchildren running around!” Mr. Joestar laughed nostalgic, and I could only sigh in relief.

The dinner didn’t last long after this, and we were allowed to go to our rooms. I stood by the vanity in my nightgown, braiding my long hair in a side tail, not wanting it to bother me while sleeping, but Dio had other plans, as he picked me up and threw me on the bed, stealing away the ribbon from my hand.

“Uh...Dio? Do you want me to tie your hair with my ribbon, or what?” I asked, looking at him in confusion. “Why would you tie your hair without brushing it?” he asked, shaking his head. “Because...I was tired? I don’t know, I don’t usually brush my hair before bed. I only do it in the morning.” I shrugged, getting in a sitting position, looking up at him. “You’re doing a terrible job at taking care of your hair, Snowdrop. Stay still and let me do it.” he said as he sat on the bed behind me, pulling me closer to him, as he started gently brushing my hair. “You could just say that you want to play with my hair, I don’t mind. In fact, I quite like it.” I giggled teasingly, which only made him pull at my hair. “Don’t be silly.” he muttered lowly. “He was declared dead by heart attack.” was the 2nd hint I gave him. “Asian medicine?” he asked suddenly, and after a few seconds of silence, I spoke up. “Is it how you killed your father?” I asked softly, not moving an inch. “How do you know I kill my father?” he sneered as he pinned me down on the bed. “I didn’t...Until you confirmed it.” I smirked in victory, seeing his wide eyes. “I’ve had my suspicions since that last day when we saw each other years ago, when you suggested killing my father, while also having yours dead all of a sudden, and you getting this opportunity to live with the Joestars. You merely confirmed my theory.” I explained to him, which made me sit on his knees, no longer standing above me, yet still looking down at me. “You’re too smart for your own good, Katrina. He deserved it. He deserved to die an even more painful death than he did, but it can’t be helped.” he sneered in anger, as I got up, putting my hands on his face, no longer trying to provoke him. “Do you want to talk about it, my love?” I asked in a gentle voice, not wanting to anger him. “There’s nothing to talk about. He was nothing more than a fucking waste of space who killed my mother. He was a fuckass, just like yours. I spit on his grave before coming here, that’s how much I loathed his existence. I’m glad I was the one to get him out of this world. He’s the reason my mother died. He overworked my mother to death...Just like your shit head of a father did to your father.” he growled in anger, which made me pull him down on the bed, cradling his head to my chest, stroking his hair soothingly. “You did the right thing, Dio. He deserved to die...And you avenged your mother too. You did really good, my dear.” I tried to sooth him. “So what did you use?” he muttered, closing his eyes. “Belladonna berries. I squished them and put the juice in his wine. They cause involuntary muscle paralysis, including the heart, which is why they thought it was a heart attack. Correlated with the fact that he was a drunkie...Nobody suspected poisoning.” I explained everything that happened, which made him raise slightly, resting on his hand to look at me with a proud smirk. “Can’t believe my little Snowdrop was capable of pulling such a nice trick at that age. I’m proud of you.” he praises, kissing me tenderly, raking his fingers through my hair. “I’m glad I got to meet you, Kitten. Don’t listen to that old fart, he can’t tell us how to live our lives. Together, we’re unstoppable and that’s all that matters. Just finish your education and I’ll make you mine, officially. If JoJo has a well paid job, mine will be a hundred times better. If JoJo has a nice wedding, ours will be a thousand times more fabulous...And if JoJo thinks he has a nice wife...Then he should have realised by now that my girl is an infinite times better than his boring housewife Erina. You are mine, Katrina, and there’s never been a person alive who could excite me the way you do.” he kissed me once again, even more passionately than before, rolling himself so he was on top of me. “I don’t know what’s gotten you in such a soft mood, but honestly, you praising me like that really does things to me that I can’t explain. Do it more.” I smiled at him, bringing him closer to me. “You have to deserve it, sweetheart.” he muttered against my skin, as he started kissing my neck, slowly revealing my shoulder. “You still have those marks from years ago. If I could, I would beat that disgusting cockroach to death...But I promise you, nobody will ever even dare of treating you any less than they would treat a Princess. I am a man of my word, and you know it by know.” he growled against my skin, before he kissed my knuckles and made his promise by putting his forehead against mine. “I trust you, Dio. You know I always have and always will.” I intertwined my fingers with his, squeezing his hand, before kissing him once again, letting all the love flow.

[nicoleindiaberry]

Nicole please answer... I feel so alone right now and your advice provides more clarity than u probably know. I recently had to deal w a guy that I’ve been seeing for abt a year give another girl the clap and there were so many red flags that I ignored bc I had dumb bitch faith in him but now I feel broken bc I don’t know how to approach. I feel like I won’t be able to move on without talking to him abt it although I don’t owe any explanation please advise on how you’d approach 😔

Wow I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's really despicable for your ex partner to compromise your and other peoples health like that. Sexual health is no joke, especially because certain venereal diseases can yield fertility issues in women if they go untreated for too long. At best, he's ignorant of how reckless he's being, at worst, he's truly an unforgivable human. You know which is the case because you know him best. You did not have ~dumb bitch~ faith in him you just had faith, which is a gift you gave him, the abuse thereof being something HE should be ashamed of, not you.

Regarding closure, I know 9 times out of 10 we all have to learn the hard way, but the one thing I will say is that 10 times out of 10 you cannot find healing in the same place that hurt you. He is the place that hurt you, and more likely than not he will take the opportunity of "closure" and manipulate it to suit his purposes. Your friends and family are likely more suited to give you what you need when it comes to truly closing this chapter ❤️

[starving-aesthetic]

I’m well and fucking tired of telling “newbies” to “go get help! This isn’t worth it!” I am not asking you nicely anymore.

You just got here and are looking for trendy weight loss tips? Got a mindset of “well they’re sick, I’m not. I’ll be fine for a couple of months just to lose the weight fast!”

Fuck off. If you are here with that mindset, you’re already sick. Go get help now and don’t let us all sweep you up in our sickness. I will not be polite in telling you that your misguided attempt to take on our bad coping mechanisms so you can get where you want, is just that. You are taking them on.

Yeah I know I know, I’m a fucking hypocrite. I’m still here. Well, that’s my problem not your problem. Don’t be an idiot and make it your problem.

Getting help gets harder and the behaviors become more compulsive and less of a decision making process over time but there are decisions involved.

I spent all day long explaining that concept to my child. You choose your actions, they have consequences, they won’t be what you want if you make bad fucking decisions. Staying here is a bad fucking decision.

I am not the bitch who will dress this up as your “safe space.”

It’s not safe here AT ALL. Best case scenario a bunch of people give you tips on how to get worse while pretending they aren’t.

Worst case scenario? A REAL LIFE PREDATOR who is taking full advantage of your youth, naivety, and desperation is going to put you in IMMEDIATE DANGER.

You didn’t come here and “get a disorder” you came here with one already and you are about to make it worst. You didn’t choose to have an eating disorder. I won’t put that on you. What I will put on you is that you can leave situations that put you in even greater danger at any point.

I want to put the fear of god in you over this place, because we are ED twitter but we are dressing ourselves up in fluffy rhetoric and a sense of moral superiority when at the end of the day the end result is the same.

That result is that you will die. We will die.

Anorexia and Bullimia alone have THE HIGHEST mortality rate of any mental illness. That is an actual statistic. so if you want to eventually find a way to be happy and okay someday, get. the fuck. away from my blog. I say it with love, but I don’t want you here. I will not seek to make you feel comfortable or welcome here.

Go feel welcome in the arms of the ones who love you and would rather know you’re suffering before they can physically see it, or in a counselors office. Gtfo.

I’ve been wrecking the ship that is my body on the rocks, called by the false lighthouse of ana, for 10 god damned years now. I watched my mother writhe in it for even longer. I am angry and miserable, and nothing pisses me off more than watching people come here and have their heads gassed up with false ideas about what you will actually get out of this. What you will see in yourself.

What YOU will see is nothing, what others will see they will find uncomfortable and off putting. I know from experience, I know from being my goal weight and the only friend I had who knew, looking me up and down and saying

“Claire, you don’t look skinny you look fucking disgusting.”

So I won’t make you feel welcome here. I will gatekeep this throng of sick people everyone keeps calling a community as much as I possibly can, fully fucking aware that I am being a massive hypocrite by staying myself.

I don’t do this because I think I will be beautiful or that I will accept myaelf if I do it anymore, this is a compulsive disease. I do it because my brain says I have to. It’s not the fucking lifestyle I would have chosen that’s for fucking sure. I’m sick. I was sick when I got here, you were sick when you got here. Just don’t be a dumb ass like I was and stay and poke an already deadly beast with a flaming stick just for the sake of making it angry.

I don’t want you here. You make me fucking pissy. You can find other places that support actual recovery and don’t tag triggering shit so people can find it and get triggered on purpose.

God damn it. I hate this place. I hate myself. I hate my disease. And most of all I hate seeing people toss themselves down the same fucking hill as me.

[fandomfan315]

Okay so my first writing piece that I've ever posted let's see how this goes-

Here, yall can read it on the doc itself:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16iNTPRKc56YXm8kNXUDmjJhcnzhxgtP33bm5Ebd1xqs/edit?usp=drivesdk

And I'm going to try and see if this works cuz I'm on mobile so sorry if it doesn't but... rest under the cut:

[[MORE]]

”Uh- hello?” A small voice called out, cutting through the pitch black darkness of the room, “Is anyone else there?”

“Uh yeah I’m- I’m over here! Can you hear me?” Another voice replied, louder, and not far from where the first voice came from. “Wait- Ness?”

“Yeah… do I know you? You sound really familiar…?”

A light appeared at the top of the ceiling just then, illuminating the entire room and revealing a young girl who could only be around 11 or 12. She wore light red slip-on, blue jeans, and a black and white t-shirt. Her hair was brown with red tips, and it hung to the top of her shoulders.

Standing on the opposite side of the room from her was an around 16 year old teenage boy, wearing worn down red-grey slip ons, dark blue jeans, and a red shirt. His hair was cut short, too. "Y-yeah, sure, something like that…”

The young girl, Ness, squinted her eyes in suspicion and backed away, sensing that something was up, “Who are you?”

“Well— okay this is going to sound super weird and I don’t know how this is happening but please don’t freak out because I’m pretty sure I’m.. you.”

“What- but I’m a girl and you’re..not...”

“Um. That.. doesn’t... matter?”

“But-“

“What matters is that we need to get out of here and- wait….what age are you at again?”

“I’m..twelve..”

“Okay so the second thing we’re gonna do is get out of here, cuz you and I need to have a chat.”

“Wait what.”

“Listen, I’m you, but at 16 years old. Things have changed so much in the span of four years, you need to understand—“

“Then can you tell me why-“

A large alarm started wailing at that moment, and on the floor the two could see numbers suddenly start to count down from 10.

“Ugh, okay: You’re just gender fluid, it’s not a disease,”

 The timer was down to 9, 

“you’ll figure it out, everything will be a-okay,”

7, 

“your friends right now are not good, so find the girl named Elizabeth-I think- and befriend her—“

5,

“-she loves puns by the way— and you’ll be fine.”

3.

“One more thing:” Ness said, quickly starting to panic as the timer continued.

“Yeah?”

2.

“Will it- will it all be okay?”

1.

The boy nodded, a serious look dawning on his face, “Yeah, it will. Stay strong, Ness.”

And with one final siren-like noise, accompanied by blinding light, they disappeared, and the room descended back into darkness.

• • •

Thanks for reading!! I'm super self conscious about this so like please leave a comment and reblog, likes are nice but.. they don't do much ;-;

Taglist:

@hermitcreature @a-dumb-bitch-apparently @midnightmagicmusings @harleyquinnamiright

[icestormiisms]

Why did no one tell me it was almost midnight